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#ai is stupid and weird sometimes and it's fun to see what it can do yk?
thewoundedfallenangel · 6 months
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I described myself to ai, and this is 70% accurate to irl me
I have a dress similar to that, and my hair looks exactly like that. I wear black lipstick as well, and got blue eyes
I just don't have a masc face like that, unfortunately it's pretty feminine, and my arms aren't that chunk. I'm also not that flat chested (unless I wear my binder)
This is basically what I wanna look like someday
(EDIT: JUST REALIZED IT PRETTY MUCH LOOKS LIKE THE DRAWING IN MY INTRO POST WTFFFFF?? HOW??)
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 3 months
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I'm about to be really stupid here for a second because I love making theories about Gabby's appearance based on the canon of angelic appearances of some churches so. Bear with me <3
In some beliefs (iirc the Roman and Orthodox Catholicism. But there might be more), angels appear to living beings in the form that is most easily "digestible" to their minds, such as humanoid or whatever Daniel saw that popular belief says is the True form. SO, basing on this fact and that V1 is possibly self aware and not just a "mindless AI", we can assume Gabe's appearance is the way it is because that's how V1 interprets whatever shape this silly man is.
Taking all of that into context, I assume his armor and wings change based on how V1 interprets the signals sent to his visor. If it's canon compliant (I don't recall lol) that his video buffer is actually low res for fuel efficiency, that could also fit in with why the wings are only visible to it sometimes.
All of that to say: Gabz got no human face under that helmet most certainly. I like to think V1 would see another robot under that thang since it's "the child of man" and, such as its predecessor, has a tendency to see things beyond its understanding and interpreted as "equals under a common law" as akin to itself.
Something something "God made in man's image" but switch it to robots 🔫🤠
Interpretations are fun (and feel free to send them :3)
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Yes it’s canon that the low poly look is to save processing power for machines, except for sentries. Tho based on the paintings and stuff we see, that is just what he looks like to everyone. But that doesn’t have to be his “true form”. He can get weird as a treat :)
It could just be his default form for convenience 🤔 any [hopefully former] WoW players here.. lol. Could be like how the dragons take humanoid forms.
The wings disappearing and reappearing seems to be something he can just do tho. This isnt from V1s pov and they’re not visible.
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The last part about v1 seeing his face as a machine reminds me of this art which is a very based interpretation but I can’t find it right now. I’m sure someone can link it. Basically his head was made of a bunch of hands around a ball of light and it looked similar to V1s head. Nvm someone linked it
Here is the art :)
reminds me of these lyrics that are So Gabe to me (song is Quiet as a Rat by Amigo the Devil)
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pluckyredhead · 2 years
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Roy has always been a science guy
Well, okay. Not always. But yes, before the New 52.
I think we can all agree that New 52/RHATO Roy bears little to no resemblance to pre-52 Roy. Lobdell basically just took a stock 90s hacker character (Lobdell can only write stock 90s characters) and called him “Arsenal.” Which, sigh.
HOWEVER. This idea of “science genius Roy” is really entrenched in fandom now. Plus the way my brain works is I tend to try and figure out a way to synthesize contradictory elements of canon and make them work, rather than just going “no, that’s stupid” and ignoring it. Especially since this was the only version of Roy we had for like seven years.
And the thing is, 2000s canon? Makes a pretty good argument for “tech guy Roy.”
See, after I read all of RHATO and RH/A in 2020, I went back and reread the 2001 Green Arrow series, and I noticed Roy is consistently, unquestionably the techiest Arrow. Now, admittedly that’s a bit of a tallest hobbit situation, since Ollie and Connor are staunch Luddites and Mia has the scientific know-how of an ordinary teenage girl in the early to mid-2000s. (I bet she’s great at texting on a flip phone.)
But there’s this repeated and very cute thing where whenever a member of the Arrowfam busts out new tech, they’re like “Roy gave me this. 🥰 ” Which I love, because it makes Roy feel very present and part of the family even though he lives on the opposite side of the country at this point in canon.
But it also makes Roy come across as by far the most technologically savvy member of the family.
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Roy invented a stun grenade arrow for Ollie!
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He provides them with weird motorcycles!
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Roy begging Ollie to evolve out of the 14th century is such a good mental image.
But wait, there’s more!
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A GREEK FIRE ARROW. Roy out here reinventing lost 7th century technology and putting it on arrows.
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A tiny arrow to put...in your pants? Okay.
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Roy is so well known for his love of tech that Dr. Light knows about it, apparently! (Yes, Connor wielding an enormous gun while Dr. Light is racist towards him fucking sucks. Fun fact: this issue is why I rage quit reading GA on a monthly basis in 2006 and didn’t pick it back up again until Rebirth. This page wasn’t the only reason but it sure didn’t help.)
When Roy does show up on the page, he continues to be tech-savvy:
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I love that he just had those tiny clippers on him.
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The “Roy and Connor bond” issue is a delight on many levels but Roy casually turning his Ferrari into a thing we still can’t do nearly 20 years later is one of my favorite aspects. As is Connor affectionately teasing him.
This scientific prowess carries over into Outsiders, which isn’t a surprise because Judd Winick was writing both books at the time and he loves a techy Roy:
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Roy worked with S.T.A.R. Labs, the best scientists in the DCU, to reprogram a robot from the distant future. Now, obviously that wasn’t successful because she was a Brainiac, but they were able to essentially create an AI with a complete personality existing alongside the Brainiac programming, which is pretty damn impressive. (He was also able to reactivate her in Graduation Day, also by Judd Winick.)
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And he created a headquarters that responds to him like this without any visual commands or pressing any kind of buttons??? What???
Plus, he canonically specifically has a kink for fucking in that souped-up airship he mentioned up above. Oh, Roy.
Also, on a much simpler level, you can make a strong case that he’s more inclined to trick arrows than Ollie (and Connor actively thinks they’re ridiculous). He likes gadgets!
Now again, this is not me arguing that New 52 Roy was well-written or that RHATO was a good book. I feel like that version of Roy is, like I said, a 90s hacker who sometimes picks up a bow, and Roy should always be archery first, tech second.
But my inclination is always to try to reconcile canon as much as I can, and incorporate as much as possible into my versions of the characters, so when I write Roy, I tend to nod to the New 52 science aspect by going back to this era. I can’t really get on board with the boy genius stuff or the Roybots, but I’ll often have him messing around with new trick arrows in his downtime, because I like the idea that he’s a tinkerer who loves toys. He’s also been an all-around weapons expert since the early 90s (rather than just arrows), so it makes sense to me that he’d want that range (pun intended) to be as wide as possible.
In conclusion, Lobdell is a hack, but Roy is still a STEM guy, and he definitely has to fix Ollie’s phone every time he goes back to Star City.
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redstrewn · 6 months
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Explain how you have all the correct opinions on Leander.
Like?????
How do you do this shit?? How do these thoughts enter your mind????
It's like, I would have never thought of this, but it is indisputably correct, perfect fit for him, EVERY TIME
Have a wrong opinion about him. Plz. I'm losing my mind.
I have no idea what is plausible anymore i am so lost in the obsession sauce that comes out of sticking into a blender everyone else's theories + symbolism/lit research + projecting myself + defensive pessimism by assuming the absolute worst of the LIs so I can't get too devastated by whatever canon actually happens.
One day im like "hes just some guy pathetic and does stupid evil shit for good" and one day im like "actually hes kind of completely fucked up he doesnt really care in the way lowtown might think he does. He cares in his own weird savior hero narcissistic way" and one day im like "i have no fucking clue who he's supposed to be at all."
Im glad u think my mad ravings have some sort of merit to them 💀 I dont necessarily expect them to be canon (ofc except the opinions i GOT from the majority of fandom pretty much agreeing on) (and i got most of my opinions from other ppl, not my pea brain 💀).
Tell u what i definitely got uquiz guesses wrong bc the very first time I thought he was Judas by Lady Gaga (monke sees two faced and immediately associates Leander, completely forgoring there is a literal angel wearing a whole mortal skin as a mask and "masquerades as a doctor") and for the longest time I thought he was some sort of spicy food (poison moment) and my dumb ass completely forgor Ais is the epitome of psychological horror with an eldritch being living in his head when i just associated Leander's manipulation with psychological horror.
BTW a lot of the times I go to what might be extremes with characterizing what makes Leander evil but it's just a result of trying not to go insane waiting for 2yrs and tossing the blorbo around. I promise u everybody if how i talk about leander might seem like a "yeah hes fucked up but not for those reasons" moment, ure probably right and i never claim to be correct on anythign. Just trying to toss up as many "what ifs" for fun to brave the winter 😭 U can just ignore my weirdass opinions in these cases (or just ignore any of my opinions like literally it doesnt matter lol)
Sorry if this was a more serious answer than u were expecting bc sometimes i get kinda worried that ppl might feel like im trying to claim to be the Beholder of True Leander with all my weird wiki screenshots and essays and torrent of leanderposting when I'm just some gal fucking around 😭 Nobody has to take any of my theories/opinions seriously im just some rando i promise
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inkstaindusk · 3 months
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hello. i've been thinking about system update a bit recently. how's it going? do you have any tidbits you'd like to share? also, i'm really enjoying your capman reki fic, thank you for writing it. i'm also pretty curious about your thoughts about rinne's partner in the reaper's game, from what i've seen from your posts.
(sorry if this is out of the blue, i was reminded that i should send asks more often)
Hello hi! Dw about seeming random, I'm certainly not complaining, I love talking about myself/my work. Thank you for liking capman reki! I'm really proud of it! And someone actually sent an ask about Rinne's partner a few days ago which is in my drafts now, I have to go post that
Anyway system update is, regretfully, on pause while I 1) recover from capman reki au 2) try to read more enstars stories to understand the characters enough to write them (just because it's Aira centric doesn't mean I wanna totally mischaracterize someone's fave) and 3) devour some romance/fantasy in an effort to remember how to actually write romance/fantasy. Not to say I'm not thinking about it and don't have ideas, I just haven't written anything especially concrete for it.
[scratches head] I guess I can talk a little bit about Rinne tho since I meant to talk about what he's doing anyway. There is a tidbit of a thing I did the other day:
It’s not like Rinne likes everything he’s done and will do. Messing with the heads of those high and mighty mages is fun, but the rest is necessary evil. He definitely never wanted to kill kids, especially not kids his brother likes, but he doesn’t have time to deal with regrets—or, he does, but there’s only so much he can waste. He has a goal and he’s already decided to see it through to the end, no matter what it takes. He's come too far. He’ll bear with the consequences after. “Ai-chan needs to go.” Hiiro will never smile at him like that again.
Rinne, Rinne, Rinne. Surprising absolutely no one, his goal as the villain is to destroy society completely and absolutely. Because what else would he do honestly. Translating idols -> mages, you can expect his backstory to be basically the same, except now with twice the magic and murder! (Isn't it so weird that enstars is an idol game but I have to say that this AU comes with more magic and murder than usual?) And of course Crazy:B is also with him. All of them have ~secret identities~ because I need them to move around without drawing suspicion as The Guys Who Tried To Murder Trickstar Last Week (or whatever it is they do in their first villain appearance idk).
I'm not sure what else I can say about him. Uhhh oh his super special exclusive magic is called Roulette because I'm unoriginal like that, he gets a new special magic every time he uses it but naturally he has no control over what it is. Sometimes it's awesome. Mostly it's stupid shit. He and Niki have argued extensively over whether the food ingredient identification magic is cool or not.
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the-firebird69 · 7 months
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The motors on the air conditioning units run forever and I mean it 20 30 year lifetime they run constantly and they use the horsepower to push big fans and a lot of air at pressure now they don't make that much noise they sound completely different unless you're a technician but it sounds kind of cool it's like an electrical sound and a humming. But these larger motors can be used for automobiles some of these air conditioning units like camper like a RV A motorhome that you drive and that's the whole unit and our son has been inside one and is expecting it just to see if they actually hooking it up and it works and was running his job and they push a ton of air and he said you don't want to be in it already sort of was it was like a window and those motors are about 89 horsepower and that might be enough using their technique and it might be enough on the lighter car so he's going to try and tassels he was a transformer and they require of like 200 volts and they do require more amperage but the transformer will do that and the automatic is nice he has an automatic car with it's kind of a pain in the ass really bad it shifts bad compared to other cars and these things shift really nice and smooth hey you can almost not mess them up.
And we tested them and made a bunch and her son and daughter say what are they clueless and they use these electric motors on other stuff but these HVAC unit ones seem to work great some of them work better than others then Arnold owns train and his work on a certain vehicle it's a truck and you wouldn't expect it but the gearing is right so he told Blake and he made one can you call Ben Arnold and he said no way meaning I'm excited about it but I can't do with you and you heard our son say you have to maybe a Tesla truck he got on the line again said I'm sorry I said that I'm having a problem it says I know about it because he needs money he heard and also he said how do you think this sounds train truck and they said oh my God but he was saying Tesla truck but how about Tesla trade Tesla powered by trane. They both got excited it's two megaliths in the industry and a relative of Tesla and someone who was Tesla and Ben Arnold was on the team with Tesla and owns trained this isn't that fascinating the owners of the company are doing it what's going to happen next where you get that ice cream with no sugar and low fat. Then Arnold started screaming with laughter and said I think we have to do that this is stupid nobody uses fat anymore might have to it says he doesn't want to talk about it. It comes down to that we're not going to be searching for a fat cow. He started laughing and laughing that's true. And I'm not going to be doing that. So he was talking about trucks earlier and I helped reach the subject and I'll tell you what this is a damn good idea those electric trucks have tons of torque so you can rip like the living s*** out of practice anything and sometimes they need that for a PTO also they started whining and crying and it was really weird so they need people to back and they need investors and factories I will never start and the max probably wanted to go they say they do they need it down there and they did now they want to get the boys something for mentioning them strange blue red people and blue emerald so the same shut up and stuff it's probably the cocaine.
It's going forwards now and he says a car is something I can drive but not with lithium but I can special order the alkaline probably on a Tesla car and everybody would freak out and BG wants me to have one and it's because of his AI fantasy it's really a Rock and roll fantasy our son says and daughter so yeah okay we're going to try and get these things going
Thor Freya
This is really exciting and interesting how it's happening and it is fun and having a truck is nice you can make some of that have really really massive horsepower and thick thick steel and they're just rip the tires right off almost anything that a military grade solid tire they are really powerful and we need those and we need those to move things around we have a couple giant earthwork trucks that have the light cycle drive and their electric and the steel on them is super strength and massively beefy about 80 ft tall 120 ft wide it's like a it's like the bank size building near the mall in Port Charlotte it's it's big and the steel on it's 3 ft thicken areas and on the drive and take off it is about 2 and 1/2 ft thick. My son says at 80 ft he could not lift the drive mechanism and we agree that's way too thick other Giants think they can but they haven't seen this two and a half thick
Olympus
People already have names for these things Tesla truck powered by train and of course zero motorcycles by Trump and BG as a name and he uses it and it's his American version he wants to make a Chinese version to compete with choaw he says get out of here it'll be war and things like that and take your automatic transmission idea in a sense is what with the Chinese air conditioner motor it says yeah we use them the factories as true too they last forever you go to work and you think it's going to break after 20 years 25 years and it doesn't cuz that's moving that air and it's great keeps everything clean and yeah the electricity works better cooler now we used to save on money and we weren't we are going to look at it. And automatic sounds great
Olympus
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ironhusband · 3 years
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Read on AO3 
Honestly, Bucky had expected that dating Sam would be easier than this.
With everything that he and Sam had gone through to finally get together, he had wanted everything to be smooth sailing once he finally had Sam. Their perfect happy ending, cut straight from the movies and into their lives. They deserved it.
That wasn’t real life, however.
When Bucky finally had Sam in his arms, there were a myriad of relationship things that Bucky had to learn. He had to get used to all of Sam's quirks and he had the entirety of Sam’s family to win over. He had to learn the way to this obscure place where Sam liked to buy his orange juice and he had to study for days to remember that Sam’s aunt liked orange jewelry. But if Bucky was honest? He didn’t mind that part. He didn’t mind getting to know what Sam was like in a relationship or meeting Sam’s family. That would never be a hardship for him.
What he did mind was that stupid fucking drone.
It all started with Sam and Bucky making out on the couch. This wasn’t unusual in itself; sometimes the news was boring and Sam and Bucky got distracted. Sucking on Sam’s tongue was more interesting than anything else, frankly.
Sam was pressed against the couch by Bucky’s hips, his hands wandering under Bucky’s shirt as Bucky took Sam’s lips between his teeth. Sam removed his hand from Bucky's shirt to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair, causing Bucky to pinch Sam’s waist. Bucky was coming up to change the angle of the kiss and-
When he looked up the drone was staring directly at them.
It took a long time for Bucky to recognize that their home was safe and not, as a reflex, shoot at any sort of intimidating sight and sound. Still, he startled and yelled, “why the fuck is your pet staring at us?!”
Sam looked back at what made Bucky exclaim and smiled at Redwing. “Oh, hi, there, little guy,” he cooed, “enjoying the show?”
“Sam,” Bucky hissed, annoyed at his boyfriend’s reaction, glancing back and forth between the drone and Sam, “he is staring at us."
Sam shrugged, wrapping his arms around Bucky's shoulders, "so?"
Bucky spluttered, exasperated, "He is recording us. How can you be so calm about this? What if he puts this on the internet?”
“He won’t put this on the internet,” Sam rolled his eyes.
“Why not?” Bucky challenged, knowing the real reason. Sam was still insisting it was Redwing who put the footage of him falling through the tree on the internet, and he was determined to make him confess it was his doing (that video got 1000000 likes!).
“Well, first of all,” Sam explained, straightening up, smug grin on, “because no one wants to see you kissing.”
“You want to see me kissing,” Bucky countered.
“My one flaw,” Sam teased, “and two, his camera isn’t on. He just likes flying around sometimes.”
Bucky glanced at the drone, whose cold, robot eyes, peeking just beneath the shell on the drone, stared back at him. “Can’t you make him stop?”
“I wasn’t listening when Stark did the seminar about the AI inside him. Lost the manual too.”
Bucky looked at the drone again, and then quickly turned away while he muttered, “there must be a deactivation code.”
“I sorta don’t want to find it,” Sam confessed, “I like his quirks.”
“But he isn’t supposed to be flying around with his camera off. It isn’t what he was made for.”
“He’s sleepwalking,” Sam said, fondly.
“He’s creepy.”
Sam gasped, “how dare you say that?!”
“Robots shouldn’t sleepwalk!”
“Redwing isn’t a robot! He’s a drone!”
“Same difference!”
“It is so not same difference. Besides, Redwing is better than just a normal robot, he is-”
He and Sam bickered for the rest of the evening and Bucky forgot all about the drone when they moved into the bedroom. But it began like this.
~~~
Bucky woke up to get milk the next morning. Sam usually got up earlier than Bucky, waking to go run. He would accidentally wake Bucky up by kissing his cheek before he went out (running reminded Sam of Steve and sometimes he needed a little reassurance), and then Bucky would burrow into the blankets for half an hour before getting up to eat cereal. Bucky liked the early hours of the day when he had the house to himself and could wake up properly before Sam would get home. Before they moved in together, Bucky had made the mistake of getting up after Sam had already returned from his run, and he didn’t have the brainpower to retort when Sam called him a heathen for pouring his milk before his cereal.
When he got up this morning, the drone was there, staring at him.
Bucky was mid-yawn when he yelped at the flying thing in front of his face.
“Holy fucking shit, man, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” he exclaimed at the drone, clutching at his chest.
“That’s not good,” the imaginary Sam in his head said, looking, amused, at Bucky’s clutching-his-pearls position, “you need to watch your heart at your age.”
The drone didn’t say anything. Bucky rolled his eyes. “What are you looking at?” he challenged.
The drone still didn’t say anything.
Bucky moved cautiously, one leg in front of the other while he watched the drone, “I’m just getting breakfast.”
The drone turned his head towards him with his every moment. The whirring, easier to hear in the quiet morning, gave Bucky chills.
He glanced once at the drone and then once at the refrigerator before deciding to ignore the robot. Even if it was creepy that his camera wasn't on but he could still follow him, what would he do? Shoot him? Sam disarmed the drone every time he was off duty. So Bucky opened the fridge and got out his milk, blocking the drone from his view with the door.
Sam hated it when he did it, but he unscrewed the milk and drank some of it (”we exchange spit regularly, I don’t see the big deal.” “You put it so romantically~”). Cold milk always helped Bucky wake up and he “ahh”ed when he stopped feeling the thirst he always felt when he was just waking up.
He shut the door of the refrigerator, and apparently, Redwing has gotten twenty steps closer.
He screamed at the drone near his face and threw the cap at him.
~~~
Turns out, Redwing’s camera was on and Sam laughed for 20 minutes at the footage.
~~~
The next time it happened, Bucky was coming home from one of his therapy appointments. The BARF sessions were always a pain in the ass (reliving his past wasn’t remotely fun) but Bucky knew he sometimes had to go to them to make sure he wouldn’t go all Winter Soldier again. Anything to keep Sam safe.
Bucky liked to come home and cuddle with his boyfriend (who usually also had an exhausting day of being Captain America) when he got home, but today was different.
A purring Redwing was found in Sam’s lap when he went into the living room.
“Hey!” Sam greeted, seeing unable to give him a welcoming kiss due to the robot in his lap, “how did it go?”
“The usual,” Bucky replied casually. He eyed the drone, “does he usually... do that?”
“Yeah,” Sam nodded, “he noticed I was bummed so he came to cheer me up. Isn’t that right, Red?”
Sam pet Redwing’s red-paint-coated shell and the robot buzzed happily.
“Weird...” Bucky mumbled under his breath and then flopped next to Sam, “why were you bummed?”
“I fucking hate the UN,” Sam announced, “excuse me for not wanting to end up at jail for accidentally scratching some rich dude’s car.”
Bucky kissed Sam’s cheek, “I’m sorry you had a bad day.”
“’ Is okay. We’ll settle it all eventually. Just wish that I didn’t have to do it.”
“No, you don’t,” Bucky pointed out, knowing how much his boyfriend loved being Captain America.
Sam smiled shyly, that smile of his that made Bucky fall head over heels for him, “no, I don’t.”
Bucky kissed Sam’s neck. Sam’s smiles would always get him soft, which meant he had to kiss every inch of him. Sam giggled at Bucky rolling the skin between his lips and he brought a hand to the back of Bucky’s head to caress his nape. Bucky kissed further down his neck, reaching Sam’s collarbone and-
Sam gently pushed him away. Redwing was buzzing irregularly in his lap.
“Hey, there, little fella, don’t be mad,” Sam tried to appease him by stroking him, “Bucky just distracted me for a moment.”
Bucky huffed, disappointed at the interruption. “Not fair,” Bucky grumbled, “I had Sam cuddling dibs.”
“Awww,” Sam teased, his trademark smug grin on his face, “are you jealous?”
Bucky huffed and pushed his shoulder, “no, I’m not jealous. I love you and your weird robot.”
Sam laughed and didn’t retort, resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder as they turned on the TV.
~~~
Bucky did get a little jealous when Sam had to sleep on the couch because he didn't want to disturb Redwing ‘napping’ on his lap. He was still jealous, despite how adorable Sam looked with the blanket around his shoulders and drooling on the backrest of the couch.
~~~
Bucky could have handled hogging Sam or Redwing hovering or wondering if the drone was recording while he and Sam were just being domestic, but he drew the line at forcing him to stay in his apartment.
“Okay, freak,” Bucky announced to the drone, “I’m going shopping. Do you need anything?”  
The drone didn’t respond. Bucky pulled the jacket on and stuffed his keys in one of the pockets. The drone followed his movements as he got ready to go outside. “I’m going out now,” Bucky informed him before he turned around to leave the apartment.
The drone was staring right back at his face as he moved towards the door. Bucky didn’t jump this time, long used to how Redwing could sneak up on people. “God, how do you do that? Did Stark figure out teleportation or something?”
The drone flew mute, as always. Bucky sighed and went to open the door but Redwing blocked his hand before he could reach the knob. “Ow! Son of a bitch!” he cursed as his hand crushed against the drone, “what, what’s the matter? I can’t leave my home now?”
The drone didn’t respond.
“You know, most pets beg for their owners to take them outside.”
The drone still didn’t respond.
Bucky sighed, and reached for the door, more gently this time, and managed to successfully open the door.
Bucky cheered triumphantly, “not so tough now, huh?”
The drone didn’t show any sign that he understood but when Bucky tried to exit he blocked his way.
“Seriously?” Bucky huffed. He moved an inch to the left quickly and the drone zoomed towards him. “Seriously?” he complained and tried to move another inch, slower this time. The drone followed his painstakingly slow movements, centimeter for centimeter. “You motherfucker.”
He tried to get through the door from the left side and the right side, but wherever he went, Redwing followed him. “I’m going to walk out of this door like a normal person,” he told Redwing, “I’m not going to limbo under you, or jump over you, or fight you or anything like that, so. Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”
Three minutes later, Bucky found himself on his knees, face to face with the drone, “you know, if Sam didn’t like you so much, I would dismantle you piece by piece.”
~~~
Sam paused at the open doorway, looking at his boyfriend and his drone staring at one another.
“Are you having a staring contest?” Sam quipped, “because that’s our thing.”
“It won’t let me leave,” Bucky complained.
Sam raised an eyebrow, walking through the front door, “it? You used to call him him.” Redwing followed him, softly nudging Sam’s head and asking to be pet.
Bucky threw his hands in the air in frustration, “him is for things who aren’t menaces!”
“That’s not my experience,” Sam joked, petting Redwing as it asked.
Bucky glared at him, “that’s not funny. That drone is the executor of Tony Stark’s will and it is trying to kill me!”
Sam laughed, “don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”
“Two days ago, I swear I saw it give me a withering stare while it was on your chest.”
“He’s a drone, Bucky,” Sam emphasized, “they don’t have expressions.”  
“Doesn’t stop him from doing all the other human stuff!”
“Bucky,” Sam shook his head, “Redwing likes you.”
Bucky scoffed, “if Redwing was armed, it'd kill me in my sleep.”
“No, he wouldn’t.”
“When’s our next battle? I bet it'll finish the job then!”
“If only I had a schedule of that...”
“That thing drives me crazy!”
“Bucky!” Sam exclaimed, “all those things Redwing does, he does because he likes you.”
Bucky blinked.
“Think about it,” Sam began explaining, “for weeks after you moved in, he hasn’t moved from his spot, but now he has suddenly decided to move?”
“It has decided it can no longer be passive about me anymore?” Bucky suggested.
“Or-” Sam suggested his interpretation, “-he decided he can trust you and he wants to get to know you.”
Bucky peaked at Redwing behind him, “seems unlikely.”
Sam raised his hands, “don’t ask me to explain his bad taste.”
Bucky looked at the drone, “it likes me.”
Sam nodded, “and unfortunately, so do I.”
"It has a weird way of showing it," Bucky pointed out.
Sam grinned, "well, so do you."
~~~
“What do I do?” Bucky whispered to Sam, panicked.
Sam shook his head. "Pet him, you moron," he told him fondly.
The drone has decided to land in his lap. Changing Redwing’s batteries was like feeding a dog, and now Redwing has decided that Bucky deserved affections. Bucky carefully put his hand on top of the drone’s surprisingly warm metal and started rubbing his hand on the shell.
“There you go,” Sam congratulated him and put his head on Bucky’s shoulder, his hand on the drone, joining the petting. He turned on the TV, “what do you want to watch tonight?”
Bucky looked at Sam, at how calm and happy he looked because of Bucky and Redwing getting along. He looked down at the drone steadily purring louder in his lap.
“Yeah,” he thought, “this is a happy ending.”
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Text
The Pink Note
Bucky x Reader
Summary: it's important for writers to remember why they are writing in the first place, so you gave Bucky a note, to remind you when you need it. This is the story of that note.
Word Count: 3,880
Warnings: Steve will not approve of this language, hydra, injuries, some angst but this is fluffy fluff.
A/N: I had this in my notes for forever and you can thank Sam here for bringing me to finally write this one. I honestly love this one so much, I love my past self for getting this idea. I basically had the entire outline and scenes in my notes smh. @ayybtch
--
 "Buckaroo your human is here!" Tony declared as he got off of the elevator with you, placing your luggage next to you as you waited for your friend.
"Thank you so much Tony for letting me stay here."
It's a weird thing to have an Avenger as a friend, a supersoldier at that. He goes off on missions and you are left with your normal life, having to keep living as if your friend isn't in a life endangering situation right now, and knowing Bucky he is probably being stupid in one way or another.
It was fun though, to have a friend from the 20s, it just means that you have every excuse to watch your favourite films because he hasn't seen them. He hasn't seen Narnia for fuck's sake! You watched it with him just last week, telling him all about it and gushing over the books because he was listening to every word you said. He just wanted to get up to speed with a world that flew by him.
It was a funny thing, you met him at a bookstore, he was confused and you- knowing the whole place like the palm of your hand- took him with you and showed him the books he was looking for, you couldn't help but recommend some yourself and you have been best friends ever since.
"Ah it's not a problem. Any friend of Frosty is a friend of mine. Are you sure you don't want your own room?" you shrugged him off.
"Bucky has a whole apartment, the couch there is heaven and if I can minimize the amount of intrusion then I will."
"You do remember I'm a billionaire, right?"
"Yes Tony I remember. Seriously thank you though, I refuse to be in that apartment while they do the construction in the building." You let out a shriek as two big hands came behind you and pulled you up in the air. "Stupid stealth spy shit, Bucky put me down!"
He only laughed at you, not letting you go.
"Is this a way to talk to your very generous host?" you turned your head to look at his smirk, you put your arms around him in a hug and smiled up at him.
"I was very nice to Tony." Your grin was intact as his turned into an offended one, his mouth opened in shock. He looked between you and Tony who was smirking mischievously.
"Oh you're just an annoying little brat aren't you? I am offended to my core."
"I am, what are you going to do about it?" you challenged, you didn't pay attention to tony who just groaned and left, tired of your banter.
When Bucky smiled you knew it was over. He just picked you up and threw you over his shoulder and smirking at your protest, one hand holding you in place and the other taking your suitcase.
"Did you know we have a pool here?"
 It was needless to say that when you walked into Bucky's floor you were drenched, while he was squeaky clean beside you.
"Welcome to my humble room!" it was larger than your apartment and he knew that.
"I am going to kill you, but before I do that I am going to go to your bed and ruin your sheets."
"And how exactly are you going to do that?" he taunted as you strode to his bedroom.
"I'm extremely wet, how do you think?" you only heard it when you saw his smirk.
"Is that so?"
"Oh don't you dare go there, you know that is not what I meant, oh my gods I hate you so much." He laughed but you still went to his bedroom, curling under the warm sheets. You knew exactly on which side he slept, it smelt like him, so you made sure to squeeze the water out of your hair there.
"I prepared you a warm bath," you heard him say from the door, you turned to look at him. "Come on, you're going to catch a cold if you stay there."
"Fine, my job here is done anyways. Have fun trying to put on new sheets."
"Doll you know I can't put them on normally."
"I know." You gave him a quick hug before you went to the bath was waiting for you. You couldn't lie and say that you walked there quickly because of the cold rather than the blush that coloured your cheeks. You hated when he called you that.
 It took you a little while but you got used to life in the tower, the kitchen was too crowded way to early in the morning for you, but at least Bucky made you productive in that regard? Procrastination was your go to as a writer, but this novel was important to you so you did your best effort.
So now Bucky woke you up after he got back from his run with Steve, making your morning start at 6am. Then you're having breakfast with the almighty Avengers, which are not so almighty in the kitchen. You were thankful for being able to do your job from home, you got rid of your responsibilities so you could finally be able to plan out your novel.
By planning out your novel you meant making a mess of too many papers and sticky notes with rushed handwriting that somehow was only understandable to you. Even genius AIs and spies wouldn't be able to decrypt your organized mess.
Sometimes you were in Bucky's room, and sometimes in the common room for a change of scenery.
"Y/N Y/L/N!" you heard Clint scream your name from the living room while you were in the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink. You reached the living room to see Clint and Sam leaning over and looking at the huge whiteboard you had on, the chapters organized on it.
"What do you think you're doing?" you asked them, people weren't supposed to read your novel, especially not your first draft.
"You can't just kill her off!"
"Hey, I can do whatever you want with my characters, now scatter because I found a plot hole and I need to work on it." You smirked as the two walked away from the desk you set up for yourself.
"Just saying, maybe if you keep your characters alive you wouldn't have a problem." You smacked Sam's shoulder when they passed by you.
"Keep annoying me and I'll make you a character and torture your character."
You sighed to yourself and got to work, comparing your notes and trying to find a way to make your novel work.
 It's been three days since, and you honestly didn't know why you even bothered anymore, it wasn't working, you just couldn't find the solution.
You've added colorful sticky notes to the board, some simply had song names on them, and some had dialogues. Bucky walked into his floor, he loved seeing the focused look you had when you worked, with your bottom lip bitten and your eyes sharp, you were too cute like this. He stopped in his place when he saw what you were wearing. His red Henley looking like a dress on you, stopping probably a little too short than what it should. He assumed you wore shorts, but he couldn't see and he didn't know what he'd prefer.
"Is that my shirt?" you nodded absentmindedly, still looking at your notes as he walked over to where you stood.
"If you didn't want me to steal it, don't leave it out in the open."
"It was in the closet." That earned him a small smirk.
"The closet was in my eyesight, my point stands." Your smirk soon fell. "I just don't even know-"
You looked at Bucky then, holding his gaze. He suddenly grew shy at your stare. He studied you, after all this time a trained assassin, the winter soldier… couldn't analyze a girl.
"What's up with all the sticky notes?" he cleared his throat and it seemed to snap her out of it.
Sometimes the answer comes out of nowhere and is standing right in front of you.
"They help remind me of stuff." Then you looked at his icy blue eyes before turning around. He saw you scrabble something on a pink post-it note, and then you turned around and put it on his forehead.
"It's going to fall you know." He laughed, which only made the note that much closer to falling. You cursed at him, but you had a certain look in your eyes that he'd never seen before.
"Keep it, I need you to remind me of it," you said simply before an alarm went on in your head and you outstretched a hand as if to stop him. "But don't read it!"
As it began to fall, he folded it and without looking at it he put the pink note in his pocket.
That's where it all started.
 It's been there for days now. He moved the note from pocket to pocket, sometimes you will come into a room and ask him for it, only to give the note back to him, still folded, a few minutes later. Alongside that same unexplainable look which seemed to disappear only a moment later.
On and off missions he still took it with him, always in the pocket in his gear or in his pants. He didn't know why he did it, but it felt important. For such a small note, it felt like it held the entire world. At least for your world, so it was for his too.
 "Hey there Bucky boo," you laughed when he grumbled on the other side, he absolutely hated that nickname. "How are you doing?"
"I am really tired actually, doll."
"Oh no, did something happen? Bucky-"
"No, Sam is just being an annoying little shit." You heard then noises from the phone, you couldn't help but shake your head at their childish behaviour. Bucky finally went to a quieter place. "I'm okay doll, really."
He pulled out the little pink note as he talked to you, a soft smile spread on his face.
"Are you going to be back soon?" you picked on your nails, waiting for his answer. He just got lost in the note, testing he put it against the light yet still seeing nothing.
"I'm afraid it's going to take a little longer than expected. Some things changed- but before you say anything, I'll be just fine. Am I surrounded by idiots? Yes." He relished in the laugh you gave him at that. "But I am a supersoldier, so it balances out."
"Okay fine, I'm going to leave you to it. Bye."
"Bye, doll." He put the note back in its place. And went back into the room they were staying in.
"Man, you're whipped, you know that right?"
"Eat shit, Wilson."
 It's been thirty minutes now that you were sitting in the dining room table, your fingers on the keyboard and you were looking at the computer with determination, yet whenever he passed by you, he saw a blank page in front of you.
The page was mocking you, you could hear it. Locked in a staring contest the computer won when you saw a cup of tea being put on the table next to you, and then the pink note was in the palm of your hand.
"Maybe take a break after this, but I thought this might help." He didn't see the smile on your face as your eyes followed him when he walked back to the kitchen, Natasha however was more observant. When you saw her looking at you with a smirk you cleared your throat and went back to writing.
It's been thirty minutes and he actually liked the sound of your typing on the keyboard, he could hear it from a room away.
“As I was saying,” Wanda tried to get the group’s attention. The monthly movie night is some serious talk. “We watched Lord of The Rings together, we watched Narnia together- it’s only fair that we will marathon Harry Potter together now.”
That caused a new fight about what movie they should watch next, but Bucky couldn’t care less, he focused his ears on your typing.
When it stopped, you entered the kitchen with an empty cup which you put in the sink before giving him the note back and a hug. He was glad the discussion was over when you came.
 "Psst, Bucky wake up," he barely woke up and just looked at your silhouette as the light from the living room shone behind you. "I need it."
Without a word he took the note out and handed her the note, he stretched around a little, still half asleep when he saw the hour on the clock. Before you could get away from him, he took the covers off, brought his hands around you and pulled you to him. Your back to his chest, he didn't let you protest as he turned around to his side, bringing you with him.
"Shh, sleep." He pulled the covers over you and put the note back in place.
"But Bucky I need to work."
"No, you are my teddy bear now, and I am going to sleep and you need sleep too." You knew there was no getting out of his grip, especially when he was somehow already asleep.
Tiredness soon washed over you too and you let it take you.
 You were awakened by a loud crash, you heard gunshots and panicked voices outside and a red alarm shone brightly in the dim lights of the floor.
"Bucky?" you called out to him, and he got out of his room already with a rifle and daggers.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y what's going on?" he came to you and put a comforting hand on your shoulder which you clutched when you saw the smoke that came from beneath the door.
"It seemed that hydra has infiltrated the building, Sergeant Barnes. Captain Rogers is asking for your assistance." You barely had time to react before Bucky went towards the door.
"Bucky wait-"
"Stay here doll, go to my room and lock the door. F.R.I.D.A.Y let me know if anyone is getting through this door."
"Wait, what about you?" it was weird to have an Avenger friend, you were constantly worried about him, but you never saw him actually in action. You enveloped him in a big hug, afraid to let go, but he let go.
"I'll be okay doll, just stay here and I'll come back as soon as I can." You bit you lip, holding back what you wanted to say. Nodding to him, he left and you went to his room, shutting the door.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you tell me if something happens to him?"
"I will, Miss Y/N."
 It was hard to calm yourself down when you still heard everything that was happening between the gunshots and the screams. The anxiety was killing you, and so you didn't think.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y, what floor is Bucky in?" you got out of the bed.
"Miss, I don't think that is a good idea. Sergeant Barnes told you to stay inside."
"Please, I just need to see him." You waited a bit before the AI gave you his location.
The minute you walked outside of the safety of Bucky's room you smelled the heavy smoke and you put your hand up to cover your mouth and nose.
Maybe it was better that you got out of the room, if the fire spread than it would probably be safer to get out of the building. You mused in your thoughts as you went down the stairs.
You got to the floor Bucky was supposed to be in, and it was quiet. Too quiet. You hesitantly looked into one to the rooms, backing away when you saw dead agents there.
Okay maybe it was better if you had stayed in your room.
"Bucky?" you called out, your tears watering a bit when another cough took over. You walked into a larger room and saw the fire there, spread all over it. The bottles with the different chemicals were falling from the shelf. "Bucky!"
You just hoped he wasn't hurt. He had to be here somewhere. Deciding to run back you collided with someone and fell on the floor. You looked up and saw someone you definitely did not know, and when you saw the red sign on his shoulder you cursed and started to back away.
The bastard only smiled and pulled out his weapon. But before he could do anything a shot was heard with a shout of your name.
The agent went down and in the far end of the hallway you saw Bucky. Getting up you ran towards him as he ran towards you, but before you could reach him, you heard the explosion before it knocked you down. Then everything went black.
 "Bucky, you need to rest." Steve put a hand on his friend's shoulder. You've been unconscious for almost two days, Bucky hasn't left the spot right next to your bed. The infirmary was cold, Steve handed Bucky the blanket he asked him to bring, he gently put it on you. Then he went back to sitting again.
"I'm fine Steve, I'm not going anywhere. Can you please ask people to leave us alone?" the blond nodded and exited the room, leading his friends away from there.
Bucky brought his hand to yours, finger pressing on the back of your wrist, taking comfort in the steady pulse. He hated you for going out of the room when he told you to stay there. He hated himself for not getting to you sooner. He's going to talk to Tony about improving F.R.I.D.A.Y to not listen to idiots.
He laid his head on the bed next to your hand when a thought crossed his mind. His metal arm let go of you and went to his side pocket. There it was, the pink note, unharmed.
He stared at it, he couldn't see the writing on it as it was folded, then he looked at you and slowly he decided to open the note.
Holding his breath, not knowing why, he gently unfolded it until he could see what was written inside all those days ago.
Give them a happy ending.
He let out a sigh, the words alone bringing him comfort when his mind caught on to what the note said and his breath hitched yet again, trying to process and think about the meaning.
So there he sat, alternating between looking at the note and at you; his lips gently resting on your knuckles in a soft kiss.
He folded the note and put it in his pocket.
 You woke up the next morning. Bucky had his head resting next to your leg, hand entwined with yours. You squeezed his hand slightly to wake him up.
"Hey there Bucky boo." You smiled at him faintly, his eyes fluttering open until you saw those blue eyes focused on you, and it was instantly followed by a smile.
"I hate it when you call me that." He said before he attacked you with a bone crushing hug. He let go of you when you winced a bit. "Sorry, doll."
"Bucky, what happened?" your memory not really working at the moment, and by your aching headache you assumed it wasn't good.
"You gave me a heart attack that's what. Gosh Y/N I told you to stay in my room."
"There was a fire."
"We both know that's not why you went outside."
"I'm sorry. This was the first time I saw you actually be in danger. I was too worried to stay there."
"Well, I'm too worried to leave here. Just rest for now, Bruce will be here soon." You rested your head on the soft pillow again, bringing up the soft blanket and breathing it in.
The next time you opened your eyes, Bruce was there with you. You smiled at him, Bucky sat there listening to you talk to Bruce, only letting you go when Bruce strictly told him he needed to so he could run tests.
"I'm tired, can I please go home Bruce? Bucky will keep an eye on me." You just wanted to sleep in a normal environment.
"Yes, only because I have a feeling he won't let you out of his sight." You laughed at that but Bucky was dead serious, coming to help you when you got up despite your protests of trying to slap his hand away.
"I'll make sure she's okay Bruce. Thank you for everything."
You thanked the good doctor with a hug before you went upstairs. After you got ready for bed you all but yelled at Bucky to leave you alone and go to sleep in his bed. About 10 minutes have passed before he left you in the living room with your soft blanket and the comfortable sofa. Sleep took you instantly. Bucky? Not so much.
He mustn't have been sleeping for long, but it felt longer that it should, he hadn't had a nightmare this intense in a while, then he heard your voice.
"Hey, Bucky it's me, you're okay. It was just a bad dream, you're safe, okay? Are you with me?" the dream felt too real but you were here in front of him, safe and sound. Your hand was cupping his cheek, he didn't realize he was crying. He took your other hand and felt for the steady beat of pulse.
"Stay with me, please doll, stay here." He begged you, and hesitatingly you nodded and got under the blankets with him. He did not hesitate to pull you closer and bury his face in the crook of your neck, his arms circling your waist.
"It's okay, I'm here." But it was hard to sleep when he was holding you like this, and by his breaths on your neck he was awake too. You started to play with his hair, hoping it'll help him relax but he rather looked up at you with emotions you didn't even want to begin to hope to see.
"Doll?" he pulled back and rested his head in the pillow in eye level right next to you.
"Yeah?"
"I just want you to know that," he smiled a bit to himself when he felt the edges of the little note. "You're my happy ending, doll."
He said it as if it was the simplest thing in the whole universe, the one thing that made sense in the world, and to him is was.
You were certain now of the way he looked at you, nothing was there but love and adoration that you saw so clearly despite the darkness of the night. His eyes still found a way to shine.
You couldn't look away, even when blush spread on your face, which you was sure he saw based on the smile that lit his face, he came closer then. It took you another moment of confusion before you understood what he said. But despite the embarrassment you couldn't help but smile back at him.
"I told you not to read that."
 Tags: @callmeluna  @sstanbarnes  @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes @easygoingtheatre @that-one-person  @justab-eautifulmess @onceupona-happilyeverafter  @wipplogg  @supraveng  @bucky-the-thigh-slayer  @ayybtch
330 notes · View notes
xnchxntmxnt · 3 years
Note
I saw the ask for request and I’m here-
How do you feel about this.
Soulmate AU where they can write on their skin and it appears on their partner’s- but it’s a Kenma (Haikyuu!!) x GN reader.
If you don’t like that I can come up with something else!
P.S. I hate it when writers say GN reader and heavily imply they’re female too.
You Too
Kozume Kenma X GN!Reader
I’m just going to start by saying even if it’s not my favorite idea ever, I enjoy writing as a whole. Especially when I know someone is going to be happy about the finished product. I will always enjoy writing asks, so thank you for sending one in!
(also soulmates AUs? PLEASE GIMME GIMME GIMME I LOVE THEM)
I took some liberties with various things I've seen on Tumblr about this kind of AU like you can’t give names away, stuff like that. Because what fun would this be without a little game (pun totally not intended)?
Quick addition: I’m a little weird and I write my notes before I write so I don’t forget them. But let me just say once I started this I couldn’t stop writing it. I love this idea so much. My friend even helped me come up with an idea for a similar AU with another ship that I’ll write...eventually. But I love this I’m addicted to this oneshot now 😁😁
TW//CW: minor cursing Reader info: GN!Reader, Karasuno first-year student/third manager with Yachi Hitoka & Shimizu Kiyoko, friends with Hinata Shoyo
Enjoy!
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“Kozume! Get your head off the video games and onto practice!”
“Yes, coach, sorry,” Kenma said with a sigh, looking away from his arm. A small doodle of a volleyball appeared a moment ago—rather than watching the ball during a scrimmage, he was paying attention to that.
So his soulmate decided to be distracting during practice. It wasn’t the first time. They must have been bored, though, because they didn’t tend to draw or message by this time. Maybe their practice was canceled.
The most he knew about them was they lived in Japan and were a manager for another team (but the team name erased before he could look at it—stupid soulmate crap). Other than that, there was nothing he could do to find out just who they were.
He’d never admit it out loud, but he had a nickname for them in his head. Ai, meaning love. It wasn’t specifically for a boy or a girl or anything in between, so he thought it was clever.
Not that anyone knew this but himself.
They had a practice game against Karasuno coming up soon, meaning he could do some more digging there. Maybe that would ease his mind. Lately, his curiosity had been getting the better of him, making him quit paying attention to things he was doing (like volleyball and sometimes even video games).
After practice, Kuroo walked over to him, half-smirking per usual. “You get another message from your special someone?” he joked, nudging his arm as they walked towards the closet so they could help clean up.
“Not a message, just a picture,” Kenma mumbled, plain as ever. “You?”
“I think my soulmate thinks they can name more digits of pi than me, and that won’t stand. We’ve been writing them back and forth on and off all day.”
“Is that what those numbers on your arm are?”
“They are indeed.”
“Fun.” he sighed. He wished he knew more about his mystery person, but there was nothing he could do but wait. He had to wait and use the clues he had to figure it out. Maybe Shoyo could help, although he doubted it.
***
“Shoyo, stop running so fast!” you exclaim, racing after your best friend. You were supposed to be helping Yachi and Kiyoko, but he was so excited to show you around the Nekoma campus he dragged you off towards the school.
From where you stood, you could see the doors to the gym, where a bunch of other volleyball kids were warming up. Shoyo smiled at you, grinning from ear to ear. “You weren’t here the first time we did this, (Y/N)!” he exclaimed, looking from you to the doors, and back again. “There are so many cool people here! And you get to meet Kenma!”
“The infamous Kozume Kenma I’ve heard so much about, yeah?” you ask, prompting him to keep talking. With a glance behind you both, you could see Kageyama staring at him in admiration (or with the biggest heart eyes you’d ever seen). He saw you noticed and glared at you. You laughed. It was fun to pick on your fellow first years, especially when Kageyama couldn’t get mad at you without revealing everything to the rest of the team.
“Don’t forget the water bottles, (L/N),” Kiyoko said, handing a few of them to you. While Shoyo was dragging you around, you’d almost forgotten about your managerial duties.
“Thank you, Kiyoko,” you chuckled awkwardly, taking the bottles from her. “Sorry…”
“Don’t worry about it.” She smiled slightly and you heard Nishinoya and Tanaka (simp #1 & simp #2) start proclaiming their love for her in the background.
Idiots, you think, chuckling to yourself.
The team walked inside, and nearly immediately, Yachi clung to your side. She wasn’t exactly the bravest, so you understood why she was nervous. There were a lot of tall, loud, intimidating guys in the gym that she didn’t know.
“Take a breath, Yachi, you’re fine. Let’s go get water for the boys during a time out, yeah?” you ask. She nodded eagerly, running off to get the water bottles you’d left on the bench for later.
You felt a gentle pressing on your arm and looked down. Your soulmate, whoever they were, was writing. Good luck at your game today, they wrote near your wrist. You smiled--so they were thinking about you. You thought about them more than you wanted to admit. It was such an entertaining mystery, how could you not want to solve it?
You took a pen out of your pocket and quickly scrambled a you too on the back of your hand because Yachi was back.
“I just realized I don’t know where we should fill these up,” you laugh to yourself. Yachi laughed, too--good, she was relaxing a little. “Hold on, I’ll go ask Shoyo. Stay put, I’ll be back.”
“I’m gonna go sit on the bench so I don’t get hit…”
“That works too.”
You smiled at each other before you ran away, over to Shoyo. You noticed he was talking to someone, so you slowed down, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.
“Perfect timing!” he exclaimed. “Kenma, this is (L/N) (Y/N), the one I told you you’d like. (Y/N), this is Kenma!”
You bow, as does he. “Nice to meet you, Kenma. I hate to steal one of you, but do you want to show me and Yachi where to fill up the water bottles?”
“I dunno, sorry…” Shoyo mumbled, then smiled like a lightbulb went off in his head. “You do, right, Kenma?”
“‘Course, yeah. I guess I can show you…”
“Perfect, I’ll grab Yachi and we’ll follow your lead.”
In a few moments, the three of you were in the hallway, with Kenma leading you around the corner of the gym and down a hallway to the nearest water fountain.
“Here it is,” he said, keeping his eyes focused on the ground. “Do you need help?”
“I think we’ve got it, but thank you. You should go warm-up for the game; you guys should be starting soon,” you say, grabbing a water bottle from Yachi and beginning to fill it up.
His eyes widened for a moment, almost like he was scared of something, and then he walked off. You stared at him for a second, confused as to what spooked him so bad.
“What was that?” Yachi asked, looking between you and Kenma.
“I have no idea, but now I want to find out.”
***
“Kuroo! Kuroo, Kuroo, Kuroo, I need your help,” Kenma gasped, running back into the gym. Unless it was for practice, he couldn’t remember the last time he ran that fast. The moment he turned the corner, he bolted for the gymnasium, needing to hell his best friend what he just saw.
“Hey, take a breath,” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Why are you freaking out?”
“(L/N), that person Shoyo brought--”
“What about them?”
He pushed his Nekoma VBC hoodie up his arm a little bit, making sure Kuroo could see the back of his hand. “They had the same words on their hand. I wished them luck because they said they had a game today and they said ‘you too’, but I saw their hand and I think--I don't even know what to think!”
“I have...actually never seen you this worked up over something that wasn’t a video game, I’m impressed.”
“Kuroo, this is serious!”
“Okay, okay, relax,” he chuckled. “So we’ll play the game and you can talk to them after, yeah?”
“I guess...but what do I tell Shoyo? ‘Oh, hey, one of your best friends at Karasuno is my soulmate, apparently’. How awkward is that gonna be?”
“Not awkward at all.”
“Why? How?”
“Because he’s right behind you.”
Kenma whirled around, smacking Kuroo in the shoulder with his hair. Sure enough, there was Hinata, smiling from ear to ear at him. “Shoyo, I, uh--”
“I knew it!” he exclaimed, jumping up and down. “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! This is perfect! I was so happy when I found out we were going to be here because I thought you two would get along but now we KNOW you will! This is amazing!”
He took a deep breath, refocusing on what Shoyo said rather than all the possible “what if”s going on in his mind. “So...it’s not weird? I don't wanna steal your friends from you or anything....”
“No, of course not! I’m still both your friends! And then (Y/N) and I can go back to figuring out who mine is! And Kageyama’s!”
Kuroo snickered--Kenma elbowed his shoulder. They were that stupid then. Alright. Everyone except the two of them knew they were going to end up together.
“What’s so funny?” Shoyo asked innocently, tilting his head to the side slightly.
“Nothing,” Kenma sighed. “Do...I mean, do you want to help me tell (L/N) about the whole...thing?”
“Sure! After the game, though. Before we leave.”
“After the game, yes.” Kuroo cut in. “Come on, we have to kick some crows’ asses.”
“Not if we kick your butts first!”
“In your dreams, chibi-chan,” he scoffed. “Time for your favorite pre-game pep talk, Kenma!”
He groaned. “Must you…?”
“I must, it's my duty as your loving captain. See ya, Hinata!”
“Bye, Shoyo…”
“See ya out there! Good luck!”
***
After the game, when everyone was supposed to be packing up to head home, you pulled Shoyo aside. Kenma’s sudden disappearance earlier still had you worried. Had you said something wrong? Why was he so shocked? It seemed for the rest of the game, he’d been flat-out avoiding you.
You were about to go ask him about it when Shoyo grabbed your shoulder, a wide grin plastered on his face. He was oddly cheerful for having just lost a (very close) practice game against Nekoma, so you looked at him in confusion.
“Why are you so excited?” you asked, staring at him in confusion. “You do know we lost, right…?
“Yup!”
“So, why…”
“Kenma asked me to give you this!”
Shoyo threw a piece of paper at you and ran away to Kageyama, laughing and smiling. Sometimes you couldn’t believe how much energy this guy had, but you appreciated it.
You opened the folded piece of paper, feeling like you were a child in elementary school again, passing notes with your friends.
It read:
(Y/N)
This isn’t going to be perfect because I had to write quickly so Shoyo could give you this. However, I think I figured something out that you should be made aware of.
Sorry for running away from you and Yachi, earlier. I saw the words on the back of your hand and...well, I didn’t know what else to do but run. If you believe in that whole “soulmate” crap we grew up hearing, or if you’re just interested in possibly making a friend, feel free to text me. (03-XXXX-XXXX).
I look forward to hearing from you if this isn’t crazy and/or awkward. Or even if it is.
Good game today.
Kozume Kenma
You smiled while reading the note. Just as you finished, you felt a light pressing feeling on your arm--Kenma was writing again.
Sorry if it’s awkward, he wrote.
You looked up, seeing him across the gym, and smiled. He caught your eye and smiled back.
Without a second thought, you pulled out your phone and texted the number he gave you.
No need to apologize--I’m glad you figured it out. We can talk more when I get on the bus. But it’s nice to finally meet you, Kenma :)
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So yeah! Like I said I really enjoyed writing this. Honestly I’m pretty proud of it especially for two days worth of writing 😅
Thank you for reading! Stay hydrated and take care of yourself.
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tiptapricot · 3 years
Text
I’ve been having a lot of Evil Robo BnT thoughts recently, so here’s a bunch of them! This ended up pretty long just as a forwarning djjdjd
Post DeNomolos, Evil BnT are forced to do a lot of self exploration and discovery
They’re two robots from the far future, stuck in the past with each other and the two humongously important historical figures they were not only sent back to kill, but also physically made to look and sound exactly like, with no way back to their own time and no further reason to carry out the mission they were created for
It’s a lot to adjust to
(Three uses of the f-slur near the end in a canon compliant/reclaimed usage context, and implied sexual content, but extremely mild)
It still doesn’t have much of an impact on them at first though, besides some anger and annoyance. They don’t feel emotions in the same way or to the same depth that humans do, so they kind of fall back on: this sucks and that guy was a dick, guess we have to live in the stupid past now, and that’s the extent of it
But they’re also AIs, and AIs learn and grow
They hide out in a cheap apartment for the first few months or so back, going out to steal money to pay for rent and to pick up movies and stuff, but it’s exposure to the world, it’s living. And the more they interact with people, the more media they consume, the more the rigid walls of their programming break down and expand
And that’s when things start getting complicated
Because that’s when things like morals, sense of self, purpose in life, and, to their horror, real emotions start coming into play
Their evil edges start corroding, things stop being as straightforward, and they start developing into their own complex people
Being Bill and Ted with a few glorified descriptors stuck on the front starts feeling… weird, especially when they inevitably end up running into them again and being around them more
Because they’re supposed to be Bill and Ted, but they aren’t, and yet they can’t completely deny the parts of themselves that are….. it’s frustrating
As a first step in both asserting and exploring their individuality, they choose their own names
Evil Bill chooses Willis, or Will for short, and Evil Ted goes with Theoneous, Theo for short
It’s different enough to feel like their own thing, while still appeasing the ingrained itch to take BnT’s place
There are gaps like that, a disconnect/mental dissonance between their consciousnesses and the knowledge that they’re robots, circuitboards and wires and code, like a separation between what they feel is them and what they feel is the robot
That’s an experience that continues as they grow, especially as they try and figure out what to do with their lives. It’s tough sometimes, to figure out where the programming ends and where their own wants and drives begin
They’re the only ones familiar enough with future tech to help each other when they experience technical issues or need repairs, and the only ones they feel comfortable being that physically vulnerable with
It leads to them being kind of codependent, but it’s warranted in a lot of ways
They also naturally stick closer to each other, because even though they grow to have emotions and are able to care about people, they aren’t totally mushy
They don’t get as upset about things, or as excited, and while they form their own kind of love for the people they end up caring about (without admitting it), they’re still never able to connect with humans in the same way they connect with each other
It’s this inherent wall, a difference in how they experience the world
Their forms of affection are machine based, just like how humans are human based. They’ll give each other cold packs when it’s hot or they’ve been moving a lot, they’ll do evening maintenance on each other, chatting while one of them has their hand in the other’s chest cavity, and they jump on each other or bang their shoulders together super hard, because they can’t feel a thing and they’re durable enough for it, and that’s fun to them
That doesn’t really carry over to human interaction though, and a lot of times they end up coming across as cold or mean
They generally have a rougher seeming relationship than most humans. There’s a lot of teasing and insults and slapping, which turns most people off from them, but that’s how they show they’re comfortable (it’s also how they show they don’t like people, but there’s a subtle and meaningful difference there, AKA that they won’t purposefully try to harm the former party)
Robots process sound differently too, for them it’s more of a physical experience than just listening
Will’s guilty pleasure is that he likes to listen to piano (secretly), especially Debussy and other classical that sounds similar. Something about it makes his circuitry feel good and fuzzy and calms him down
He doesn’t feel comfortable telling Theo about it, it still feels like a dumb pussweed thing to be into (plus it continues to make him have some most non metal thoughts about kissing and That’s DEFINITELY not something he can share)
They also both really like death metal. Though they were loosely programmed with the knowledge of BnT’s music taste, it’s not quite their style, and they lean towards the more intense stuff
They do that in most fields though, since it usually takes higher energy stuff to get them going/excited/into something
That’s why they roughhouse a lot, and mess things up, and drive recklessly, it forces their mechanics to process more things more quickly, and as a result gives them their own form of dopamine/adrenaline
Sometimes things backfire, they’ve fucked themselves up accidentally on more then one occasion when stuff goes too far or isn’t what they expect, but they’re always there to patch each other up
When their synth skin gets ripped or torn they don’t always bother to repair it, and underneath there’s a layer of see through hard plastic and their bodies look like those clear case electronics that were popular in the 90s (idea cred to @juiceboxfrog !)
They also have inspector gadget-like telescoping stretch arms at their wrist and ankle joints, but they don’t use those much because they’re unsettling to most humans. Definitely a leg up when they want to climb places the shouldn’t, though (idea cred to @showbiz-za !)
Theo is more prone to needing fix ups than Will, since the extra wiring that was installed for the time and space spanning camera DeNomolos gave him made him more susceptible to short circuiting, over heating, and other glitches
After awhile he just takes his left eye out and leaves it like that, keeping his hair in his face to cover it. It doesn’t do anything for the internal parts of it he still has, but it’s not like it’s a loss. The connection port kept sparking, and it was uncomfortable and kept fucking with his vision, so it wasn’t worth it
Plus he didn’t really like that it used to be a camera… or still could be
One of the things Will and Theo both have to get used to is actually valuing their own privacy and autonomy
When DeNomolos was around they were just his tools, tools that he didn’t even like
They honestly grow to resent him pretty fast, both with his treatment of them, and, when their emotions are especially out of control, his creation of them
They don’t talk about it much, or when they do it’s mainly anger, not addressing or showing the more raw parts they do feel, because that’s still foreign to them, and their circuits weren’t designed to process or understand more complex stuff
Complex stuff like how being around Ted more makes Theo develop a certain… insecurity
It’s not like the connections are hard to make: he looks like Ted, he sounds like Ted, he was meant to be Ted, Ted has a dickweed of a dad, and Theo had a dickweed of a creator, Ted has Bill and Theo has Will
But Theo doesn’t have Deacon
And while he doesn’t want to be exactly like Ted, part of him also does (it was made to). Part of him wants to be human, to have those natural connections and someone to watch over
But he doesn’t and it’s weird*
He tries to ignore it, chalks it up to his drive still attempting to put him on his original track of replacing Ted, and therefore making him more aware of the family roles Ted has
For all he knows that is what it is, he’s just a robot after all
Even though they aren’t really ones for mushy love, Will and Theo do love each other
You can’t not when you know the other person inside and out, literally
They joke a lot about that when they’re doing repairs (“Dude you’re holding my heart, pretty faggy of you.”), and though they laugh, there’s an unspoken intimacy to it, something that sits warm in their wires and goes beyond platonic; something (though they would never describe it as such) loving about getting to take care of each other, and getting to get taken care of
The jokes also stop being jokes after awhile and take on a charge, morphing into unofficial flirting
Eventually that charge sparks, and their relationship becomes a different kind of physical. That’s new, too, a type of exploration neither of them are familiar with, but it’s nice, it’s good, and it’s easier to write off as casual and not meaningful than anything else (for the record I do think this works/plays out different for them than it does for humans, but I will nOt get into that here or anywhere lmao)
That arrangement doesn’t last forever, though, because one night Theo has a bad malfunction that cause him to completely power down, and it sends Will into a panic
It takes him almost an hour to fix the problem and for Theo to reboot, and when he comes back Will can’t stop touching him and checking in and it’s weird
“Why are you so worked up dude, this’s happened plenty of times.”
“Yeah I know you just… you fritzed out and went limp and it freaked me out dude.”
“So? You know this is nothing to worry about. I don’t get why you’re kinda acting like such a pussweed dude.”
“I didn’t know what was wrong! That’s plenty of reason to be fucking worried!”
“Not for you! Not for us! Why the hell do you care so much this time?”
“Because I love you, asshole!”
And then there’s silence, and staring, and then Theo cracks a smile
“Heh, fag.”
Kissing after a confession, as it turns out, makes both of them short circuit, and they wake up three days later still tangled up on top of each other, half falling off the apartment couch
“Y’know… I think we’re both fags now dude,” Will whispers, and they chuckle in the space between their mouths. “I did it first though.”
*he does get this later with Billie and Thea, but that’s a whole separate post
(As one last thing wanted to add that Love Came Along by Pansy Division perfectly encapsulates the vibes of Will n Theo’s relationship to me, AKA something casual and almost humorous while still being super intimate and emotional, so def check it out if you’re ok with suuuuper explicitly sexual lyrics bfgjgfdfg)
Headcanons masterpost
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harmoni-me · 3 years
Note
Hello! I’m not sure if your requests are still open but, if they are here you go! I wanted to ask if you could write me a request of Nagito Komaeda x a reader who is the ultimate Chess Master? I kinda wanted to imagine him falling in love or already dating his S/O who plays chess as a professional and is more on the kinder side when it comes to him. Good luck! 💖
Ooo! This is such a unique concept, and I absolutely love it! Writing it was an absolute joy! Thank you so much for the amazing request <3
Nagito Komaeda x Ultimate Chess Master Reader!
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The ultimate nurse, the ultimate swords-woman, the ultimate photographer…everyone in this class seemed to posses such interesting talents. It made you feel quite jealous, in some sort of way.
Now, of course you never thought of your talent as boring, useless, or unnecessary in the slightest! After all, you were the Ultimate Chess Master. You believed that everyone should try chess at least once before inflicting their nasty opinions on the strategic game. Unfortunately, that was already too late when it came to…basically your entire school life.
In Elementary, you would ask the kids on the playground to play a quick game of speed chess, because you thought it was a fun way to spend time with friends! But all you got in return were child-built insults, saying that chess was stupid and boring. It’s quite ridiculous to admit, but those comments still float around your mind sometimes. Kids were harsh, still are…
In Middle School, you had a few close friends, and when you asked one of them to try playing a game of chess with you, all they did was look at you weirdly, a look that only seemed to scream “uh, are you serious?”. This was when you started to question your liking for chess. Was it that weird? Am I the only one my age that thinks that chess is actually a fun game?
Now, you were sitting in class at Hope’s Peak Academy, a school full of the elite, yet…
This was the first time you felt truly, whole-heartily ashamed about your love for the game of chess.
“Are you kidding me? Chess? You got into this school for an old-people game like CHESS!? Pfft-!” A girl in twin blonde pony tails and an orange kimono let out a shrill of laughter.
“An…old people game….?” You muttered to yourself, steadily becoming a little closed off from the rest of the class.
You’re love for chess was parallel to how you played, which was almost unbeatable on a professional level, yet…
Why were these comments crushing your heart? Why did it make your love for the game waver?
Class continued like normal, just a little lecture to start off the rest of our high school lives. You honestly weren’t paying attention, your focus more attentive to your little chess notebook, filing it with strategies you wanted to try against high-level computer AI.
Though, it would be nice to have even a complete beginner to play with every once and awhile, though, you might be asking for too much.
Thump
Great, more harassment.
You turned around slightly in your seat, and looked down at the ground it see a crumpled piece of notebook paper that had hit you in the back. You picked it up, and looked around to try and figure out a potential culprit, but it seemed as if everyone was acting normal. No dice, then.
Unfolding the messy ball of paper as quietly as possible, you read what seemed to be words written on the inside.
Meet me in the library today after school, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to be seen with trash like me
The wording on the letter was…strange, but that didn’t stop you from feeling a tiny firework of joy in your heart. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel more nervous than joyous due to how the letter was written. It was surely vague, but it really seemed like the writer as quite the low self esteem.
You were suspicious, but honestly, what could go wrong? It had to be someone from the class that you were just introduced to, so at least it’s not like a blind date sort of thing…
The more you thought about it, the more it actually seemed like a blind date. Nice.
Time seemed to move incredibly slow for the whole rest of the school day, but eventually, the bell had rung, and you were out the door in a heartbeat.
After a little while of asking for directions to the school library, you finally reached your desired location: An absolutely humongous cavern of probably any book one could think of.
Only a couple of students were residing in this literal book mansion, and none of which you recognized.
“I guess they’re not here yet…” You mumbled, sitting yourself by a large, lit fireplace. As the warmth from the flames licked your skin, steadily causing you to naturally relax all of the tensed muscles that were stuck to your bones.
You pulled out your phone, and automatically started a game of online chess with a random opponent. The game was done in a mere ten minutes. The other player was no doubt new to the game, but that’s ok, you were there once too.
You suddenly heard a subtle clunk next to you, making your gaze wander to that direction. It was that boy from your class, the lucky boy. You remember him clearly because you thought his hair resembled a fluffy cloud. The two of you made eye contact, his foggy green eyes squinting a bit when he smiled at you, warming your heart a smidge.
“Y/N L/N, correct? I hope you don’t mind my presence, though it’s ok if you do, I would never blame you on something that’s not your fault.” The thin male crouched down to take a seat on the floor with you, sitting cross-legged.
“Yep, that’s me…and I actually kind of appreciate the meeting, honestly. Even if you just came for simple company, I think that’s very nice of you, especially since everyone in the class already thinks my talent is boring and all…Nagito Komaeda, right? I’m happy to meet you.” You shot a warm smile to the boy, causing him to reciprocate.
“You’re too kind to such untalented scum like myself, all I have is the Devil’s luck, after all! I can’t even control any of it! So I’m glad someone like me can be used as a stepping stone for you to be a beacon of hope!” Nagito chuckled, humored by his own self loathing.
You flipped your whole body to face the living incarnate of a four-leaf clover, “Well, um, on a personal note, I don’t think you’re scum. At all. I think your talent is anything but boring…I also think you’re…quite kind, for hanging out with someone like myself.” Fiddling with your uniform sleeves in nervousness. You just want him to feel better about himself.
The boy went quiet, his smile dwindling from your comment. Was he not used to compliments?
After a few moments in silence, Nagito gazed into your eyes, a new type of smile prettily stitched onto his features. It was almost like this expression was more…vulnerable, uncovering itself under layers upon layers of facades. His face almost made you breath out a sigh of relief at how comforting and relieving his genuine expression was.
“I would like to play with you. I-If you would let me, of course.” Nagito gestured his hands downwards to the chess set he had placed onto the ground since the very beginning. And how did you not notice that? It may or may not be the fact that the boy in front of you seemed to be way more intriguing.
You’re eyes widened as sudden happiness started to flow through every vein within your body. The excitement washed over your soul, rejuvenating it’s prior state of melancholy dreariness. Was…he was serious, right?
“Really…?” Was all that you managed to squeak, causing the lucky student to tilt his head in wonder.
“Hm? Well, of course…I don’t really know who else I would be aski-“
“C-Can we please play speed chess!?” You sputtered, the passion and the fireplace flames reflecting off of your eyes to reveal in an enticing glow.
“Speed Chess?” Questioned the frizzy-haired boy, though he did seem quite interested at your sudden burst of energy.
“Yeah! It’s also commonly referred to as Blitz Chess, and it’s like chess, but you have a very short amount of time to make your moves! It’s super duper fun, and if you want even more fun, then we could also play Bullet Chess! It’s even faster, and a game only takes roughly three minutes if you…keep up…the…pace…” Your words started to get quieter and more mumbled. God, you totally forgot the two of you were in a library, how embarrassing….
A hearty laugh spilled out of Nagito’s mouth, the corners of his lips turning upward to the ceiling. You looked down in pathetic nature. That was totally something to laugh at…
“Though I would consider myself a newbie when it come to chess, speed chess sounds lovely.” Nagito smiled, his pointer finger playing and twirling around the queen piece’s crown.
“Ah, a-alright, well, lets get started, shall we?” You stuttered, with joy obviously evident within your voice.
                                       .   .   .
Unsurprising to you, you had won all three games of speed chess against Nagito, though, it was surprising how close each game was. the more you thought about it, the more you realized his luck most likely aids him whenever he plays. Definitely one of the most interesting opponents you’ve been up against, whether it would be for casual online play, or in-person tournaments.
“Ah, bummer, I guess someone as useless as me shouldn’t even try to come close to beating you!” The boy ruffled his cloud-like locks, laughing at his loss.
“Hey! You had me worried for a few turns there, you were no pushover at all, Nagito!” You proclaimed, frustrated on why he would still think that, even thought the game results were all obviously pretty close.
“Also, please don’t say that your useless…it makes me really sad, because it’s not true at all.” You looked up at him with eyes that reflected something that had never burned so brightly before, and Nagito noticed.
Those eyes, previously clouded from the despair given from others, were now shining with a glimmering hope…and he drew that out from you…by simply playing a mere few games of chess.
For a moment, and only for a moment, he believed your words. Maybe he wasn’t so useless, he helped you find your smile and joy, right? Maybe…maybe…
“Oh yeah!” You shot up, causing Nagito to snap out of his thoughtful daze. You stuck your hand out to him, waiting for reciprocation.
“A handshake, to wish a good game among equals.” You encouraged the boy, wanting for him to fully indulge into what it was like to play the game in a professional, yet somewhat casual setting.
The boy looked at your hand, observing everything. Your nails, your fingertips, your knuckles, all the way down to your wrist. Equals, huh…
Nagito then slowly reached out to your hand, grasping onto it gently, yet it felt like it was the most comfortable fit he could’ve imagined. He wanted the warmth from your soft skin to seep into his cold hands, wanting that heat to slowly fill the rest of his frozen body, all the way up to his thawing heart. Though he didn’t linger any more on the handshake than he needed to, not wanting to make it uncomfortable for you.
But god, did he want to hold on forever.
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lakesandquarries · 3 years
Text
Tangled Up - Chapter Two
oh, i’m gonna mess this up
Benrey’s spent 26 years living in a tower - 27, tomorrow. When a thief breaks into his tower, he finds his chance to escape and takes it.
Alternatively: Tangled, but the AI is self aware.
(featuring art by @kenas-artstuff​ )
Notes: check ao3 for warnings and tags! “kane radio” is just gordon using a fake name. fic title from “tangled up” by caro emerald, chapter title from “shots” by imagine dragons.
AO3 Link
It’s nice to be back at Black Mesa. Well, mostly nice. Gordon shuts the door behind Benrey only to immediately spot a wanted poster, the only thing making it unrecognizable a bizarre mullet. Do people seriously think he looks like that??
“Hey, Mr. Radio!” a voice calls from behind the counter. Kane rips the paper off the door, rushing across the room. 
“Hi Darnold it’s great to see you shut the fuck up please -”
And that’s when he gets grabbed from behind. He barely sees Darnold’s eyes widen before he’s spun around, now facing an absolute mountain of a man. Behind him, he hears Darnold slap something - his forehead, probably - and mutter a quiet. “oh, right.”
He loves Darnold, he really does. Being friends with someone since you were kids will do that. Right now, though, he kind of wants to throttle him.
“Kane Radio, hm?” the main holding him says, ripping the wanted poster out of his hands. The thief glances around awkwardly, his eyes finally falling onto Benrey struggling to pull his hair back into his possession. 
"H-hey, he'd appreciate his hair not being touched, guys!", Kane exclaimed, to help his partner as well as pull away from his attention. It works for a moment, as Benrey tugs the last strands of hair away and marches up to the guy holding Kane, unintimidated despite the height difference.
“Hey,” Benrey says quietly as he walks up next to the man. “Put him down? Please and thank you?”
Mountain man snorts. “Not likely. I need the reward money. Hey, you! Go get the guards!”
One of the other men nods, slipping out of the tavern as an argument breaks out. Kane is pushed and pulled, various thugs grabbing him and insisting they need the money, they deserve it most, as the bar descends into chaos.
A loud, meaty thwack! breaks up the argument. Kane’s dropped on his ass, and when he looks up, Benrey has his crowbar against Mountain man’s arm. “I said put him down.”
Kane rolls off to the side, dodging another man’s grabbing hands, and stands up so he can dart back over to Benrey and push him out of the way. “Hey, appreciate that, don’t get me wrong, but - Benrey, what the fuck?”
Behind the counter Darnold is glaring, grabbing a cup and a spoon to try and get everyone’s attention. Black Mesa housed a fighting ring once upon a time, but that got stopped when Darnold took over. It doesn’t matter now - even with Darnold yelling, everyone’s too riled up. Kane has to duck down to avoid a punch, only to immediately get kicked in the face. A hand grabs his arm and he swings instinctively, stopping at the last second when he realizes it’s just Benrey, pulling him off to the side.
“What the fuck,” Kane repeats.
“Being polite didn’t work,” is Benrey’s only explanation.
Darnold is still yelling, trying desperately to get some sense of calm as the crowd beats the shit out of each other. And then - just as quick as it started, it’s over. Screams dissolve into laughter as the assembled patrons dust themselves off, seemingly satisfied with the amount of violence they've had. 
"It's been too long since we've had a fight like that," Mountain man says. "Nice job."
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Benrey blinks up at him. "Whuh?"
Gordon agrees with him. Wiping blood from his nose, he mutters a quiet “What?” as well.
“Should’ve been longer,” Darnold complains. “You know I hate this kind of behavior! I have half a mind to throw you all out.”
"We'll clean it up, Danny, don't worry,” another, very skinny guy cheerfully responds, followed by a roar of laughter.
“Darnold,” the bartender corrects sharply as he sets to cleaning the place up, picking up overturned chairs and mopping up spills and sweeping up broken glass. 
Turning back to Mountain man, Kane asks, "Just to be clear. Does this mean you won't tear me and my friend apart anymore?"
“Are you kidding? That’s the most fun I’ve had in years! Darnold never lets us do stuff like that. Real shame, considering how this place st -“
He’s cut off by someone slamming the door open. “I brought the guards!”
Apparently ten seconds of peace is the max he’s allowed. “Shit shit shit,” Kane wheezes, grabbing Benrey’s arm as Darnold directs them behind the door. The massive dog from earlier, the one who had chased him through the forest and up Benrey’s tower, is here. And it’s pissed. Kane’s heart drops as he watches it sniff around, following the trail of his footsteps.
Darnold pulls on a lever, revealing a ramp down into a stone tunnel. “You’re lucky you’re my friend,” he says as he ushers them through it. Benrey hesitates, but Kane pulls him through anyway, into some kind of cave system. The walls are dark stone, rough and natural. This is something old, and hopefully, it’ll cover them. 
He exhales slowly, adrenaline still rushing through him. “Shit,” he mutters again. “That was close.”
“Who were those guys?” Benrey asks. The raccoon on his shoulder chirps.
“Guards. Royal guards. They, uh….they don’t like me much.”
“You stole something?” 
“Big something.”
Benrey nods, apparently satisfied with the answer. The raccoon chirps again, and Benrey mumbles something in response to it. Because his day is just going so normally, he needs to listen to his weird...escort mission talk to his fucking raccoon as they run from guards.
Metal clanks behind them, and Kane picks up the pace, until he’s running down the tunnel. It opens into a cliffside, with no way down. “Fuck!”
“There’s a guy down there,” Benrey points out, and Kane bites back another string of curses when he realizes it’s fucking Forzen. He’d abandoned him after stealing the royal helmet. Betrayal’s nothing new between them, but this is recent enough that Forzen’s probably still pissed.
“That’s Forzen. He doesn’t like me much either.”
It’s then that the guards burst out of the tunnel and several things happen all at once. Benrey shoves his crowbar at Kane, and before he can question why Benrey is giving him his only weapon, he’s tossing his hair across the canyon like a grappling hook and running off the ledge.
Before he can even ask why Benrey would possibly give him his only weapon, he watches in horror as his partner takes flight. He doesn’t have time to check if Benrey’s alright - the guards are on his ass. The crowbar makes a satisfying thwack! as he swings it, taking down the guards in barely an instant. “Fuck, this is handy. Need to get me one of these!” Kane comments to himself, looking to see who’s left. One opponent remains - the dog, who is now holding a sword.
Because his day just cannot get any fucking weirder.
“You should know this is the weirdest thing I have ever fucking done!” Kane yells to Benrey, as he battles the dog, sword to crowbar, until the dog knocks it right out of his hands and down the cliff. “Two out of three?”
A lock of black hair wraps around his hand. Kane grins, giving the dog a salute as he’s pulled into a free fall. “Ha! Get fuc - hhhh.” His words dissolve into a wheeze, as his trajectory slams him into an exposed beam, knocking the wind out of him.
Kane, struggling to get a grip of himself, only just manages to hold on to Benrey while he swings down with his support. His feet connect with the water pipes, sliding down unsteadily as they collapse underneath him, and then the entire dam breaks. It happens in a flash, an enormous amount of water - it feels like the whole ocean when Kane glances back - pouring down into the valley. Rocks fall, the last of the wooden constructions collapsing. With a couple of leaps, Kane reaches an already running Benrey, and scoops up the last bit of his hair flailing behind him. "Benrey! Benrey, into the cave!" he shouts, hoping the other would get understand the general direction they have to run.
---
Benrey grabs the crowbar as he darts after Kane, barely avoiding getting crushed by the massive rock that comes crashing down and seals them into the cave. The walls are stone, not like the bricks of his tower but a random arrangement of rocks and boulders forming a lumpy wall. There’s a puddle of water on the floor, only as he looks it starts to grow, up over Benrey’s feet, his legs, creeping higher and higher. He looks around the cave frantically, spotting the trickles of water coming in past the rock that sealed them in. The only obvious opening, but the water is like another force behind it, pressing it shut like Benrey used to try and hold his door shut. The rock is stronger than him. No matter how hard he slams with his crowbar, there’s not even a dent. He turns his attention to the rest of the cave, alternately smashing and prying at the walls, but they hold firm. There’s nothing. Not a single loose rock, nothing resembling a weak point, not even a crack he can widen into an exit. 
The water’s at his waist now. His breathing sharpens, small panicked inhales as he realizes there’s no way out. They’re trapped, with water climbing higher and higher. The water is murky, making the already dim space feel smaller and darker with each second. 
Zeki was right. Kane’s gonna die here with him in this stupid fucking cave, all because Benrey wanted to see some lights.
“This is all my fault,” he mumbles, tugging on a strand of hair. “I never should’ve - she was right, this whole time, I just -“ 
Kane’s hands grip his shoulders, firm but gentle, forcing him to look at the thief’s face. "Benrey, don't blame yourself. Sometimes things go bad...that's how life works. It's - it's gonna be ok." In a different context it might be comforting. Right now, they’re about to die, and Kane’s voice is shaking.
Benrey’s voice is choked when he responds. “I’m sorry, Kane.”
"Gordon.” Benrey tilts his head, and Kane drops his hands from his shoulders with a sigh. “It's - my real name is Gordon Freeman. I made up Kane. You might as well know it now."
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“Feetman?” Benrey asks with a shaky smile.
“If we weren’t trapped in a cave I’d hit you with your crowbar,” Kane - Gordon? - Gordon says. For the briefest of seconds, he smiles at Benrey. 
“I, uh. I have magic hair that glows when I sing,” he says. Keeping a secret doesn’t matter when they’re both about to die. Gordon furrows his brows, looking questioningly at Benrey, and a sudden burst of inspiration hits as he repeats himself. “I have - oh shit!” He starts singing, voice shakier than normal as he races through the song. “Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine -“ The water is still rising, and maybe it’s his imagination but it feels even faster. “Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine -”
The last line gets cut off as the water fills the cave completely. He’s never tried singing underwater before, and for a moment he’s terrified it won’t work - and then his hair lights up, a bright neon teal, illuminating the cave. Gordon swims down to the bottom, pushing aside rocks desperately. He finds one that’s loose enough, dislodging it, and the rest follow suit. The wall starts to crumble before collapsing completely, launching the two of them into a river, the current quickly sweeping them downstream and onto a grassy bank. 
Benrey drags himself out, flopping limply onto the grass, taking deep breaths as he stares up at the sky. “We’re alive,” he breathes, looking over at Gordon. He likes that name better, now that he has a spare moment to think about it. Laughter bubbles up out of him, along with bright yellow-green. Olive means I’m glad to be alive.
Beside him, Gordon is less chill, elbows on the grass and hands in his hair. “His hair glows,” he’s mumbling. “He - hhh - his hair? Glowing - glowy shit - people don’t glow!” From there his words just get more and more incoherent as he stares at the ground.
With a huff, Benrey stands up, starting to squeeze the water out of his hair. Jefferem shakes himself dry, splashing water onto Gordon. “You good?” Benrey asks.
“Am I - are you good?? What the fuck was that? How long have you been - ow, fuck -” He pulls his right hand close to himself, and when he holds it out again Benrey sees blood, bright red against the brown skin. He must’ve cut himself on a rock or something. 
Benrey offers a hand to help Gordon get up, so he doesn’t put pressure on the injured one. “Lets, uh. Find somewhere to dry off first and then we can play 20 questions?” Or, maybe, if he stalls long enough, Gordon will forget whatever he wants to ask and Benrey can keep pretending like he’s a person.
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copperpieceharlot · 3 years
Note
Bud I’m sorry to swing into your inbox uninvited like this but my soul is having an OOTS renaissance thanks to your content in the tag and did you say Leverage AU
haha holy SHIT this got Long. but yes. i’ve been. Thinking. (also literally Never feel like you have to apologize for sending me messages. i was Hoping someone would ask me about this. now i have an Excuse to share EVERYTHING ive written abt it :3)
Obviously, Roy is the leader/brains of the outfit. He grew up having some Strong Opinions abt what’s Legal versus what’s Right due to tragic backstory involving the death of his little brother which was definitely SOMEONE’S fault for negligence but since there technically wasn’t any illegal behavior, there were no consequences for it. Also he’s still angry at his dad bc he thinks his dad is also partly culpable (and also also just a dick). He’s the Moral Backbone of the team (alongside Durkon, more on that later) in basically the same way Nate was in og Leverage. He’s actually not the best at figuring out what people want (that’s Haley and, shockingly, occasionally Elan), but once he has that info, he is the absolute best at figuring out the ideal plan of attack to use in any given case.
Haley is still a thief. I mean she maps to Parker almost PERFECTLY. Her dad was a thief & a conman, her mom wasn’t but knew about it and mostly accepted it, but she died tragically in a mugging gone wrong or smth, which made Ian crank the paranoia WAY up and taught Haley to do the same in the name of “safety”. Let’s keep the “Ian is in Trouble and Haley needs money, Fast” which is why she signs on to the first job in the first place. She’s less acrobatic than Parker, tending towards finding (or making) weak spots in security, but she can still make a tumble check when she needs to.
Elan is the grifter who is somehow an Idiot but also not???? It baffles everyone. When he’s playing a part for a con, he’s FLAWLESS, but then the rest of the time he’s just. No Thoughts Head Empty. He probably gets lured in initially because he’s decided to try his hand at being part of a full team, rather than the two-man cons he’s been running that invariably end w his partner conning him as well and stealing half of his take. Also he likes the idea of being Crime Friends. He’s that tweet where it’s like, Roy: “after the heist is over, we split up and never communicate again” / Elan: [about to unveil his Crime Buddies Forever Friendship Quilt Puppets]: “never?”
Vaarsuvius is the hacker/gadget person. They have a Vaguely Snobby Yet Unidentifiable accent, dyed(?) purple hair (nobody has ever seen their roots) and nobody knows who they “really” are or where they came from, but they’re good at what they do so everyone just accepts the mystery. They probably got suckered into the team by their initial employer (who I’ll get to Eventually, lol) framing it as a challenge to their intellect, like, “oh, I see, you’re not smart enough to make this team work for you...” to which they were like Fucking Watch Me and also melted his computer. Anyways. They are joined (digitally) by their Intrepid Friend And Co-Conspirator (his words, not theirs), a fellow hacker known only as Blackwing, or, on certain forums, Blackwing_Bird. (In the first season, V only occasionally references him when saying they’re “calling in extra help” or smth for a particularly complex hack job. He starts showing up a little more in s2 and eventually by the start of s4 is a regular & established presence, but only appears as actions in a computer interface or output.) Elan is convinced he’s an AI, Belkar doesn’t think he actually exists, Haley pretends she doesn’t think he exists, and Durkon and Roy try not to think about it too hard, as long as B and V still get the job done.
Belkar is the hitter. He is on the team bc their initial employer got him out of jail for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory, he just likes doing violent crimes. As the series progresses, he grows some empathy & stuff, but really only for people who actually deserve it. Assholes still get decked. It’s all very touching. (Also he has dwarfism caused by achondroplasia. It doesn’t actually bother him and is useful in fights bc his opponents frequently have no fucking clue how to approach him, but he likes Pretending to take offense at stupid things just to see how far he can go with it.)
Aaaand last but not least, Durkon is the least involved member of the team. He’s actually a career criminal and Roy’s mentor, and wasn’t a member of the initial team that [redacted, I’ll tell you later, PROMISE] put together for a couple of reasons, the main one being that he’s Officially retired in order to spend more time with his family, which consists of his mom, his friend (not girlfriend) Hilgya, baby Kudzu, and a truly stunning number of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Roy frequently calls or visits him for advice and he Occasionally shows up to help out on local jobs, but generally he avoids doing crime if he can (as part of a deal with Hilgya, who is also a career criminal; basically, they’ve both cut back on the crime in order to provide a more stable home environment for Kudzu. But sometimes, you gotta do a little crime, and in those cases, Sigdi enjoys spending time w her grandson.)
NOW. THE BIG REVEAL YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Who got the team together in the first place?!
The answer: Lord Shojo (or whatever Normal Person Name you want to assign him). Now this is where it gets tricky: he had them do a thing that they thought was good, THEN they thought it was BAD, but then when they confronted him he revealed that it Appearing to be bad was actually a test of character and would they consider working as basically internal investigators for him? But then he had a heart attack, so, rip. But THEN it turned out that he’d left them a bunch of money anyway and they were all feeling kind of Inspired so they formed the Order of the Stick, LLC (which, no, i am not coming up with a new name, actually, because I just don’t care. someone else can come up w a justification for that name, tho, i’m sure it’s possible). Also Miko was there and was unhappy abt their actions, and also their general existence.
Moving on. Villains!
Redcloak is the Sterling replacement, because that DEEPLY amuses me.
Xykon is a season-long main villain, probably one that Redcloak finds himself working for but then “teams up with” (read: blackmails) the Order to bring him down bc even Redcloak finds Xykon distasteful. That’s season 3, let’s say.
Tarquin is another season villain, say season 2. Nale probably shows up pretty early in s1, actually, as another recurring antagonist like Sterling but uh. Less good at it. Anyways the s2 final 3 eps deal with them (accidentally) discovering that Tarquin runs some Evil Empire Company, then trying to outplay him and take him down. Idk if Nale still dies in this version tbh.
Tsukiko is a one-off s1 villain who returns briefly in s4 alongside Miko, who has gone well and truly off the rails.
Season 1 finale has to do w Roy finally getting Vengeance for his little brother.
The vampire squad is the s4 finale villain who do smth terrible to Durkon and then get the Mother Of All Revenge served up to them by the Order.
I envision the show as being 5 seasons (like og Leverage) but I’m not going to sketch out s5 because I think it should be based off whatever happens in the current story arc, possibly involving some legacy of the OotSquiggle.
Other stuff!
The Order of the Squiggle is a legendary criminal team from the 60s who stole a BUNCH of famous shit & then proceeded to legendarily implode. This has no bearing on the plot I’ve sketched out, I just think it’s fun.
The Sapphire Guard members should probably be reworked as FBI. I don’t care about most of them but I do think that Lien and O-Chul could be like, FBI agents who Choose to look the other way while the Order does their very-much-not-legal-but-still-fair Justice Crime, and maybe even help them out on occasion.
So, the Final season-by-season outline, based on everything I’ve written so far:
s1 e1: getting the team together, doing a con for Shojo, then at the end he dies and the gang is like “dang what now?" and intend to split up except then they Don’t.
mid-s1: Nale shows up and tries to trick the Order, but then gets beat like a drum.
late s1: Tsukiko is an underling of the Villain Of The Week, winds up in police custody. But She’ll Be Back.
s1 finale: Roy’s Vengeance: The Vengeaning. also we meet Redcloak as an antagonist.
s2 e1: the truth abt Haley’s father comes out
early s2: The Two Live Crews Job but it’s the Order vs the Linear Guild and the Linear Guild ARE all bad guys.
mid-s2: Redcloak returns. ugh.
late s2: the sapphire guard FBI makes its first appearance, hello O-Chul and Lien.
s2 pre-finale: once again they’re in conflict w Nale over smth, he spends the whole episodes making Cryptic Remarks, they basically beat him (like a drum!) but then the stinger at the end is that Tarquin reveals himself and Elan is like “Dad?!”, roll credits.
s2 finale, part 1: Elan is hanging out w Tarquin bc he’s DEEP in Denial, the Rest of the team tries to take Tarquin down, but it doesn’t work.
s2 finale, part 2: Elan finally gets a clue and they manage to beat Tarquin. still haven’t decided if Nale dies or not, but I’m leaning towards yes. also they rescue Haley’s dad.
s3 e1: fuck dude idk.
early s3: Redcloak shows up, AGAIN, everyone groans. he has blackmail on them, he wants them to take Xykon down.
mid s3: The Rashomon Job but it’s about stealing the Talisman of Dorukan and it turns out that Nale was there too (“oh!” Elan says. “I was wondering why I looked so weird in all those mirrors! But it wasn’t my reflection, it was Nale’s!” “Sweetie, that wasn’t Nale’s reflection,” says Haley. “Huh,” says Elan, “so the mirrors were broken?”, cue eye rolling from everyone else.), and the Successful thief was Hilgya, who’d nabbed it from the owner before it even went on display.
s3 finale: they beat Xykon, actually factually, because he deserves to get his ass Thoroughly kicked, even if only in AU form. Lien and O-Chul are there, so are some other less helpful FBI people. There’s a bit where O-Chul Exact Wordses his way out of telling his superiors about the Order’s less legal activities without technically lying. King shit.
s4 e1: doesn’t really matter. maybe smth to do w some legacy of Tarquin’s company to set up the drama w Malack & Durkon later.
early s4: Durkon gets SENT TO PRISON. Malack approaches the Order abt this because sure they have Different Ethics but they’re still Friends. (Roy is surprised and a little hurt that he’s never heard of Malack, but he ignores that in favor of Let’s Get Whatever Fuckers Did This To Our Friend.)
immediately after that: Miko and Tsukiko return as a Team, preventing the Order from working on the Durkon situation
mid s4: Redcloak makes another unexpected & unwelcome appearance but he’s maybe a little less of a dick? the Order collaborates with Malack & his Crime Buddies (hello, Vector Legion) to pull one over on him tho, because “less of a dick” does not mean “a pleasant or decent person”, and also he was mean abt Durkon being in jail, so he totally deserved it. he still gets whatever he wanted tho, just takes a blow to his pride. also prevents the Order from helping Durkon. they’re having a LOT of setbacks wonder why that could be, not to make sure the season fills its whole length or anything, no sirree
s4 finale: something something taking down the organization, headed by Hel (yes that’s her real name), which framed Durkon for their Big Crime. Durkon goes free and Extra Firmly retires, For Good, He Swears, but says he “met someone new” who might be an asset.
s5 e1: minrah joins the team! and the episode is set in like, somewhere really snowy. that’s all i got.
the rest of s5: don’t know, don’t care, it’s open-ended until the comic finishes up.
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Text
Obey Me Romanian MC
idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)
Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30
Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele
[added translations]
(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)
Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?
MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah
-
MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.
Asmo: Awww
Beel: :(
Belphie: What?!
Satan: Why?
MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴
-
Asmo: But I thought you could-
MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
-
Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-
MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*
-
Solomon: What is this weird potion.
MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*
MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖
-
MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?
MC: Tsch tsch tsch
Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond
MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it
Lucifer: Fair enough
-
Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?
MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔
-
MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨
-
(after the Belphie incident)
MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too
-
MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜
Belphie: My butt still hurts...
MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)
-
*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*
Mammon: W-what's that???
Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose
Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!
MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)
-
MC: Who has summoned me?
Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.
MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨
Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.
MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*
Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable
MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-
-
Barbatos: MC...
MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.
Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?
MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*
-
Diavolo: Do you like my castle?
MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.
MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows
-
Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...
MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳
MC: Real music here 😌
-
MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*
Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...
MC: That's the spirit!
-
MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!
-
Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.
Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.
MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼
-
Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!
MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...
MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?
-
Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*
Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*
MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*
MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!
-
MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊
Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-
MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)
-
Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?
MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*
MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...
Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?
MC: The secret is to use your wrist-
-
MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?
Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?
MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you
-
MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?
Simeon: ...what? :)
MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!
MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there
MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.
-
Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.
MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)
-
MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is
Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.
Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.
-
MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️
(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)
-
MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*
-
Belphie: *misbehaving*
MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)
MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*
-
MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ
-
MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)
-
MC: Where is my țuică? :)
Everyone: *quiet*
MC: I won't get mad :)
MC:
MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)
Everybody: *runs*
MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use
-
Levi: *exists*
MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*
MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)
-
MC: Lucifer you don't understand!
MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!
-
MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore
-
Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight
MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)
-
MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică
MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)
-
Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe
MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)
-
Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?
MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)
Mammon, clueless: ok thanks
-
MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like
-
Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?
MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.
-
Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*
Asmo: Please love me!
MC: *already in wedding attire*
-
MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!
MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?
MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT
-
MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*
MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)
-
MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again
MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.
-
MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)
MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)
MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition
-
Diavolo: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)
-
Simeon: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)
-
Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...
MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)
-
MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?
MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake
MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house
MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN
-
MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so
MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*
MC: that works wonders for me
49 notes · View notes
the-firebird69 · 2 years
Text
It's a horrible night lost most of my troops not people hate me for it but he knows that they planned it these Max and Tommy f and mac daddy and the plan frame isn't that great either so we let him down and he says it. But he did say that any army that would stood it and stand up to them at first would most likely be wiped out he doesn't have any ruling for 15,000 years and they know a thing or two. And we found out about China and they don't want to talk about it but we probably will to our own detriment again. There's something tells me that we're going to go on and it's movies and AI and other things and people want us to pursue those because the AI is deadly and they don't want to go near it just like we went near the clones to get our own stuff today first and yeah we are planted around the AI so it's going to be a good time and we see how other people feel about it even Tommy F and Mac it is power and it can't do things if you isolate it properly and don't teach it something stupid you might be able to engineer things based on I'm current technology and inventions already and enhance things too and it is promising and sometimes that big army was such a burden they demand to be fed every day and it was horrifically noisy and Tommy Allen's was worse and Jason was intolerable they had to go and they're sick of it now is it disgusting show I'm renting a naked and died in her screwing dead people and all sorts of gross things I've never seen people act that way it's disgusting I don't want to repeat it people don't want to hear it but you have to see the tape they're doing really really gross things fornicating on cadavers and fresh ones and ways to do not want to know about and eating things in the gore was really really over the top and not only that but there were avalanches of bodies and streams of blood rivers of blood and they become a mash in some cases it's not right what happened there and Tommy Allen you are negligent in every dude you had and you should never have been the CIA director and we should never have stepped out of line and yeah we open the door for foreigners but really we were encouraged to in order to fight the clones in order for Mac to have stuff and he did achieve a certain level of success but his competitors have it he says he planned on it so we'll see how it goes but what a disappointment today was and yeah I probably seen the song about it
Donald trump Sarah what a gross day and it's me Sarah I mean gross this is a terrible situation and started getting much worse and he comes in and he tries to brighten a day and someone brings up some dumb subject so no one can have any fun or life at all I got to tell you you didn't do a great job Trump but there are some people stink a lot worse than you like these clones and he explained it sigmatic planted to be a threat and they suck so bad that nobody can get through the damn day including Mac and the demons are much worse and I ran into him because they think that I'm one of them and it's a horrible experience and sale so it's a stuff he says they probably thought I was a goblin because I'm kind of skinny and orca chunky and vampires and muscular Valentine that's what they think I am I kind of wimpy I get pushed around and I talked to Dee and she said that's what it is and it's horrible and he knows that too it's weird it says from the movie and they say tonight that was a disgusting battle and Brian you don't teach your people anything just don't bother having kids so it was so wrong I can't believe how horrific that was it's a blight on everyone so I'll stop talking
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Would you maybe like to write some headcanons for tony and a female s/o who often speaks with friday when she is bored or talks to him whem she thinks tony wont listen? Of course tony can hear all this talks she just doesent know.. maybe she even talks abourt her insecures (being not enough for tony) with friday..
F.R.I.D.A.Y, I’m in Love (Tony Stark x reader)
GIF by @ruinedchildhood
Warnings: brief mentions of alcohol, food. One swear.
A/n: thanks so much for this HC request, Anon! So excited to write a lil sthg for Tony and this concept is so cute! Actually, I have a lot of unpublished Tony fics I might blast out one day. I can’t tell you how much I love this man. Really.
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You don’t know why you started talking to Friday, exactly. One day Tony had been riling you up with his antics, and you made an off-hand comment -under your breath to yourself- after he stormed out of the lab. You had been shocked when Friday replied to you, but the dry humour in her response had made you chuckle. Plus it had felt good to vent to someone.
Since then, in your first few months of working for Stark Industries, you formed a habit of venting to Friday. Not all the time- only whenever Tony was irritating, snarky, drunk, annoying, hangry, self-destructive, hungover, reckless, infuriating, stubborn, rude, or selfish... which, ok, you vented to Friday a helluva lot, actually.
Sometimes, Friday felt a bit like a friend. You justified it because you objectively knew she was “just” an AI, but you had formed a weird attachment to her. It could be lonely in the city, and, turns out that eccentric billionaire superhero bosses aren’t always the best company.
One day, as you sat yabbering to Friday on your lunch break, you had a terrible thought which felt like a stone dropping through your stomach. “Wait, Friday- you don’t tell Tony what I say about him, do you?” Your nails dug into your palms as you awaited her response- some of your words had been less than kind, in the heat of the moment, but you needed this job. Loved this job. You certainly didn’t want your boss to discover your track record of insults and fire you. Friday replied “Technically, I can’t keep anything from the boss, but he’d have to ask me a very specific question if he wanted conversation transcripts.” You had smiled. You were safe then, because Tony was never going to ask Friday anything about you. You were just his lab assistant, after all.
Over time, though, you saw a different side to Tony. You still thought he was annoying, reckless, and snarky, for sure, but you also discovered he was good. He was generous, he was giving. Funny. Heroic. Loyal. And boy, he was a flirt. You had grown to care deeply for him. So, sometimes, in idle conversation with Friday, you would chat about how much you missed him, if he was away. About how he made you laugh. About how hot he was. About how worried you were at the thought of losing him if he never came back from a mission. It was good to vent to someone. After all, you could never tell Tony how you felt about him. Not ever.
Sometimes, you must have forgotten that Friday wasn’t really your friend, and you told her a little too much. Told her about your feelings for Tony. Told her about your insecurities and how he’d never be interested in a woman like you anyway. How he flirted with everyone and that you were sure he could never see you as anyone special. Certainly not special enough for him.
One day, you are eating lunch like usual, and Tony waltzes in earlier than expected, catching you mid-sentence in conversation to Friday. You jump when you spot him standing behind you. “Look at this. Both my girls getting on,” he jokes, drumming his fingers over his arc reactor as his face splits into a slightly mocking smile, a little crinkle in his nose and crow’s feet radiating from around his whiskey eyes. “You always talk to Friday?” You had become good friends with Tony, but you still got shy around him sometimes, and you fluster your words and grab up some papers, making excuses to take your leave.
Curiously watching you go, Tony straddles a chair backwards and begins chewing on a pen, one arm resting on the chair back. Then a thought occurs to him. “Hey, Friday. Does she talk to you a lot?” “We’re firm friends, boss.” “Huh,” he replies. “Then does she ever talk about me?” “You’re not going to like it,” Friday warns.
Interest piqued, Tony asks his AI what you’ve said about him, and asks Friday to run an analysis of her logs. Turns out, Friday’s not your friend after all, because apparently she can’t keep your secret. “Sentiment analysis of our conversations suggests she has romantic feelings for you, but doesn’t think she’s good enough for you to reciprocate, boss. Which is contradictory data, because she also thinks you’re a bit of an arsehole.” “Hey!” Tony defends. “She’s not wrong” the AI sasses.
Tony is shocked to find out you like him too, but even more shocked to find out that you don’t think you’re good enough for him. It’s the other way around. He’s just some schmuck with a laundry list of mistakes and a Tom-Ford-pocket-full-of nightmares. He doesn’t deserve you. The most perfect woman this playboy has ever encountered.
The next time you’re in the lab, eating lunch, Tony arrives early again, and greets you by throwing your lunch abruptly in the bin. “You know, in some cultures that’s considered rude,” you state, looking at him agape. “Got something better,” he promises with a sniff which tugs on lip- his nervous tell. He produces a gourmet lunch for two, from one of the fancy Italian restaurants down the street. You’re a little shocked but you smile as he takes a stool on the other side of the lab bench to eat with you. He looks into your eyes, squinting at you through those stupid designer frames he hasn’t taken off yet.
You don’t know it, but in that moment, Tony resolves to let you know just how wonderful you are. Over and over again, until you believe him. And then some more.
You enjoy your lunch, and Tony is significantly less obnoxious than usual. It unsettles you. Clearly he’s up to something. “This was fun, right? I’m not always an asshole?” You look at him curiously, with a gentle, teasing smile. “You have your moments.” “Great, you’ll be up for date two then. Happy will pick you up at nineteen hundred hours. This Friday. Wear something slu... you know what, wear whatever you want, you’ll look great.” He barrels through his words, adjusting his tie, then he barrels out of the lab before you can even comprehend what happened. Did... did that just happen?
You gotta ask. “Friday, was he joking? Did Tony Stark just ask me on a date?”
Friday is supposed to keep Tony’s secrets... but she’s also supposed to act in his best interests. That’s what friends do... or at least, programmed AIs. “Sentiment analysis tells me he’s serious. Which makes a f*cking change.” Wow. When did Tony add those language mods?!
Well. Wow. That’s it then. You have a date with Tony Stark. On Friday. You. You didn’t think you were good enough for him, but clearly he has other ideas.
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