#and I FELT that that was rubbing ppl the wrong way so maybe now it’s just harder knowing that people ARE rubbed the wrong way by it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thebirdsandthebats · 8 months

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Okay @s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e I’m sure you know plenty BUT I’m going to use your wonderful and hilarious comment on this as an excuse to talk about Bernard, bc I realized recently that there are plenty of ppl who haven’t read most of the comics he’s been in. So get ready for my long overdue:

UNPACKING BERNARD DOWD + HIS TRAUMA (for those who cannot keep up with comics but want to get to know him)

So to start, Tim met Bernard years ago ofc, when they were in high school. It’s established pretty quick that Bernard is an extremely Unserious guy LMAO, the first thing he does is literally circle Tim and try to feel him out socially, see what kind of guy he is. He’s the kind of guy who gets himself in trouble with his big mouth, and seems to enjoy poking at Tim and testing his patience. By the time we meet Bernard again in the recent years, he’s grown a lot, but at his core he’s still the light-hearted, fun, goofy guy with very strong opinions. Just less stand-offish, maybe

Throughout the time Tim spends at this school though, Bernard does experience some wild shit. He lost Darla (somebody he really cared about), he experienced a shooting at his school, and then Darla came back from the dead, kind of scared the hell out of him, and used him to contact Tim again. It was kind of played for laughs, but like. That’s gotta fuck you up. (Robin #140)

Obviously this is the kind of thing that maybeee has a lasting effect on you. And BECAUSE Tim Drake: Robin got cut so short and the writer had to rush to wrap up the series, we’re left to fill in a lot of gaps and draw conclusions about the years we didn’t see Bernard ourselves. But we absolutely get some insight as to his life after Tim left that school and we stopped seeing him in the comics. Spoiler alert: it was hard.

In TDR, Bernard discusses the the cult that he’d been in that Tim saved him from in Urban Legends. He says that “he’d accepted himself”, but others hadn’t. Obviously there’s the natural reading that he means his queerness (which has me chewing through drywall), but I think that he’s speaking very broadly too. Bernard is a very odd example of a civilian, because he’s always getting dragged into things much bigger than him. And even before that, he had his big ideas, his conspiracies, his loud personality. He tended to rub people the wrong way in high school. Then in issue #7 of TDR (the Bernard pov issue my most beloved, weird pacing aside) Bernard refers to this “oozy, sticky feeling” that he ALWAYS feels when Tim isn’t around. He says when he’s alone it’s harder to put one foot in front of the other. To keep GOING. To wake up every day.

I think that Bernard has always felt like an outcast. (Robin #121, he doesn’t fit into any clique). He wasn’t as okay with it as he acted. And I think he wasn’t getting any attention from his parents. (Batman: Urban Legends #5, Bernard’s parents nonchalance to the days leading up to his kidnapping)

So just like Bernard explained to Tim, that feeling got bad. and he wanted to let go. The chaos monsters, the cult, all of it was a means to an end. But then Tim agreed to see him again, and I think that sparked something in him. Because he started learning to fight. When he was tied down to that alter and Tim was saving him, I think it fully sank in to Bernard that he didn’t want to die. Reconnecting with Tim gave him hope and made him really feel something good for the first time in ages.

So now that they’re dating after the cult fiasco, we get to know this current Bernard. A less goading, maybe calmer Bernard. But he’s still himself, of course, rambling about his ideas and making bad jokes and sticking to his guns (he has NEVER been a pushover, no idea where people get that idea?). I think a lot of people complained that Bernard mellowed out too much in terms of attitude, but I think if he seems “nicer” it’s because 1) he’s grown now. It’s been a while since we last saw him, and he’s clearly changed a lot. And 2) because he’s dating Tim now. He likes him a lot, and he’s an affectionate partner. He wants to lift Tim up.

But the fact that he was pulled into a cult still remains. And as lighthearted as Bernard tries to be, that traumatic experience still happened. It said in Urban Legends #5 while Tim was searching for him that Bernard had welts on his arms and legs and had been acting different, so it’s not like he was just snatched up on a whim. He’d spent significant time there. For those who haven’t read much abt the ways cult trauma specifically can fuck you up, I recommend doing a search if you’re in a good headspace for that and want to understand him more. because it’s pretty bad.

And then! yeah. you guessed it. Bernard gets kidnapped again. Chained up next to a BOMB that’s counting down. RIGHT WHEN HE’S WORKING ON HEALING FROM ALMOST BEING SACRIFICED BY A CULT.

And surely this can’t get crazier. He’s almost died twice in the past 6 months. except, remember his parents? In TD:R #7, we really see a little more of his relationship with his parents. He doesn’t live up to their standards, and his dad specifically seems to just want to argue with him. The restaurant they’re at is attacked, and everything goes to shit, and. you know, I think these panels really speak for themselves.

And for the record, when it’s revealed that everyone is seeing their worst fears, Bernard’s parents fears are not about him.

So now Bernard has to deal with that. And we start to see that Bernard is really not as okay as he’s tried to be. He keeps a baseball bat by his door because he’s been kidnapped twice now. And just when he’d likely thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard the Chaos Monsters were back. I can’t imagine he feels safe. He lashes out for the first time since all this has happened and yells at Kate and Tim, because while they’re doing what they feel is necessary to save more people (AND I DONT BLAME THEM AT ALL), Bernard can’t talk about it.

And I will forever be sad and insist that TD:R got cancelled too soon, just before we could get into the really juicy stuff, because things had to be wrapped up pretty quick and this was the only comic Bernard was consistently appearing in. But when Tim is giving himself up to the chaos monsters, Bernard goes out and rallies anyone he knows can help. Things were rushed because there was no more time to flesh out the story the way it could have been, but I’m including these panels just because I love Bernard Audacity Dowd using a fucking flashlight and shadow puppet to call Batman. geeking out for a minute. And then leading the battalion to save Tim with a SLEDGEHAMMER. gay people rule.

So yeah! While I see the vision of how a lot of Bernard’s trauma was meant to be semi-resolved and let him come to peace after saving Tim back, we just didn’t have the time for him to heal properly. I’d give anything to get inside his brain again. UHH IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU LOVE BERNARD NOW and don’t come at me if I left something out, some of my comics aren’t with me rn. Bonus TimBer for the road:

#WHEW IT TOOK A WHILE TO ORGANIZE THESE PANELS #Hes NOT BORING he is SO FASCINATING TO ME #i think his character is just not being utilized the way it could be #I didnt source every panel so just ask if you want to know where something is from!#bernard dowd #batfamily #dc comics #tim drake #timber #timbern

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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year

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hi! i love your works so much and i have a request ^^ i wanted to ask if you could do a jealous and/or possessive eddie? maybe where steve and eddie are super close to finally admitting they like each other and just need one more push or something, or they're just newly dating. they're both at a gay bar, and steve's been receiving lots of stares and heated gazes from some of the ppl there? maybe a person was brave enough to try but eddie's right beside him watching the entire interaction.

i've come across a fair share amount of jealous/possessive steve in steddie stories and i wanted to see it being eddie for a change. tysm in advance and i can't wait to read the other requests with your amazing writing <3

I LOVE possessive Eddie!!! I really only see it in Kas!Eddie or vampire Eddie situations and I wish it was written more for just regular old human Eddie who just has entirely too much love for Steve to contain his emotions when someone else tries to make a move. I hope you like this little thing (2500 words!) I came up with and the other requests I've been putting out so far! - Mickala ❤️

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Robin convinced them she needed support.

Support Steve’s ass.

She was doing just fine from the moment they stepped in the door of this place.

So fine, in fact, she’d abandoned him and Eddie before they even got their first round of drinks brought to them.

Steve sat at the table with Eddie, awkwardly watching as people kept dancing and drinking and making out in dark corners of the bar.

He tried not to look too much, though. He didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t comfortable here.

Quite the opposite, actually.

He’d been here a couple of times with just Robin: once before he figured out he was into men, once before he figured out he was into Eddie, and once more before this where he tried very hard to be into Eddie and failed.

But Eddie had insisted on coming when he overheard them talking about it, saying he hadn’t been here since high school and could use a night in a place where he could just be himself.

As if he wasn’t always obnoxiously (and beautifully) himself.

Robin had given Eddie a Look, but nodded in agreement, saying it would be awesome to have both her favorite guys there.

Which rubbed Steve a little wrong because he was her only favorite guy.

But he got over it because now Eddie was his only company, probably for the entire night going off of the way the girl with Robin was staring at her.

Ogling her.

Steve sighed. Eddie sighed.

They looked at each other and laughed.

“She do this to you every time?”

“No, usually we stick together. Must feel brave since you’re here with me.”

“Awww, she trusts me.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but there was probably more truth to that than he cared to admit.

Robin was often afraid to leave him alone, but she never hesitated if Eddie was with him.

He felt people staring at him, but he ignored it. He wasn’t here to find anyone and it would be silly to even try knowing that Eddie was right there.

But he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel good to have people checking him out. He used to thrive on it in high school, feeling seen by anyone was better than being seen by no one.

Then, he hated it. He wanted to be invisible and he wanted everyone to focus on anyone and anything else in the room. He got his wish most of the time.

Until Eddie.

Eddie always included him in everything, pointing out when he was being quiet or moody, asking him questions to involve him in conversations, making sure he understood what Dustin was saying which was a challenge often.

He would touch his arm when he passed by him on the way to grab a drink from the kitchen or let their thighs touch on the couch on movie nights.

He let him come over after work on the nights he was too riled up, needing to let out some of his energy with a walk, but being too scared to do it alone.

So Eddie saw him, and made others see him, and he didn’t always love it, but he accepted it.

Tonight felt different, though.

All these eyes on him meant that people found him attractive, maybe wanted to dance with him or bring him home. If Eddie weren’t here, he’d maybe give it a shot with someone, try to find a way out of this hole he dug himself into with the first guy he’d admitted to himself he had feelings for.

But he also felt Eddie’s eyes on him, practically burning a hole through the side of his face every time he looked out at the crowd.

He felt heat crawling up his neck, to his cheeks.

Having all of Eddie’s attention was a lot for anyone, but especially Steve, who frequently thought about what it would be like to have Eddie’s attention on him in bed, or in the shower, or on the couch, or the pool, or-

“Did you want another drink?”

Steve looked down at the drink in his hand. He’d barely finished half of it, so he didn’t really know why Eddie was asking unless he just needed an excuse to get up.

“Um. No thanks. Probably should just have one anyway.”

“Sure.”

Eddie got up with his empty glass and started walking towards the bar.

Almost as soon as Eddie was gone, a taller man in a suit was taking his place at the table.

“Well, hi there, honey. Never seen you here before. First time?”

The guy was older, mid-thirties at least, and probably not the type of guy Steve would want to experiment with. But he was flirting, and he was kind of cute.

Steve could let himself enjoy a little casual flirting, right? It wouldn’t have to lead to anything.

“No, but I don’t come often.”

Steve rested his arms on the table, head in his hand. He grinned at the man, that Harrington charm practically beaming off of him.

“You could come tonight if you wanted to join me in the back.”

That was smooth. Sleazy, but smooth.

Steve didn’t drop his grin, but he shook his head.

“I don’t think I’m interested in just hooking up in the bathroom. Maybe you could buy me a drink?”

He had no intention of drinking another drink, but he figured this guy would lose interest if he showed he was more needy.

He was wrong.

The guy practically tripped over his feet to stand up from the booth.

“What would you like?”

“Oh. Uh.”

“He’s good, man. How about you go buy a drink for someone interested?”

Eddie came out of nowhere. Seriously, Steve had just seen him at the bar a few seconds before he spoke.

“Is this your boyfriend or something?”

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly as Eddie stood taller, more intimidating.

“Does it matter? I’m asking you nicely to go.”

“I don’t think it’s up to you. I asked him.”

Eddie looked like he wanted to punch the guy, and Steve could admit to himself silently that he wanted to see it.

But he didn’t quite understand why Eddie was reacting like this; He’d assumed Eddie would want to try to hook up with someone while he was here and wouldn’t want to spend all his time with Steve.

“Steve? Do you wanna get a drink with this guy?”

No, he didn’t. He hadn’t even before Eddie came back. But a part of him had to wonder if maybe Eddie’s reaction was just to protect Steve from an older guy.

“I actually have to drive us back home so I probably shouldn’t have another drink. Thanks though.”

The guy mumbled something before turning and leaving, shaking his head as he walked to the bar.

Eddie slid into the booth next to him instead of across from him, letting most of their sides touch.

Steve couldn’t help the way his body naturally curled into Eddie’s, the comfort and safety of his body drawing Steve in without effort.

It should have ended there. Steve should have just let himself stay rested against Eddie’s side until Robin was done.

He did for a minute, but then his brain decided it needed explanations.

“What was wrong with that guy buying me a drink?”

Eddie was quiet for a moment, his body tense against Steve’s.

“I just don’t think he was the right kind of person to be buying you a drink. You deserve better than that.”

Steve’s brows furrowed.

Eddie didn’t know the guy, he could’ve been really nice. Other than the propositioning as his first line, he seemed like he was willing to do whatever Steve wanted to get more time with him.

“Who is the right kind of person then?”

“Someone younger. Maybe someone who doesn’t wear a damn suit to a gay bar. This is a casual place, there’s no need to flaunt your super important job. Plus, he could see your drink was still half full, he should’ve known you didn’t want one.”

“You offered me a drink before you got up.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Because I’m not trying to get you drunk to sleep with me.”

Yeah, and wasn’t that a shame?

Steve dropped it. It wasn’t worth arguing with Eddie and he didn’t want to ruin any of the fun they could have.

“Should we dance?”

Eddie pulled away and looked at him like he’d grown a second head.

“You want to dance with me?”

“Why not? We’ve been abandoned by Robin and the music isn’t bad.”

The music wasn’t bad to Steve. Eddie, however, was suffering through it as it was, and that was without having to dance to it.

“Pleeeeease?” Steve pouted at Eddie, eyes wide.

“You can’t make that face. It’s not fair.”

Steve kept making the face because being fair wasn’t something he cared about.

Eddie stood up, holding his hand out towards Steve to help him stand from the table.

Steve took it, ignoring the way he wanted to collapse against Eddie the second he stood up.

They made it to the dance floor, where a surprising amount of people were dancing in pairs and small groups, enjoying the fact that they could safely here.

Just when Steve turned to Eddie, the music changed to Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears.

Steve tried not to take it as a sign.

Eddie suddenly looked even more nervous, like he’d planned on maybe getting away with just jumping around to the music and now he couldn’t.

Just when Steve was going to give him an out, another guy, this one younger, but not as nice looking, wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder.

“How ‘bout we dance, sugar?”

The guy was drunk.

Steve wasn’t interested in ruining his favorite song by dancing with this drunk guy.

“He’s busy,” Eddie said firmly.

The guy backed up a bit, but still had his hand against Steve’s arm, resting there with enough of a grip to keep him upright.

“Sorry, you got somethin’ against me dancin’ with him?”

“Yeah, that’s why I just said he’s busy.”

Eddie pushed the guy’s hand off of Steve’s arm and put his own around Steve’s waist, pulling him against his side with no room for air or argument.

Steve tried to catch his breath, his heart skipping a beat and his lungs exhaling instead of inhaling.

“Maybe you should let him say if he’s busy or not.”

Steve was missing his favorite song to argue with a guy he wasn’t interested in when he could be dancing with Eddie.

Unacceptable.

“I’m dancing with him. Find someone else.”

The guy rolled his eyes and walked away.

Eddie turned and adjusted his arms so they rested on Steve’s hips.

Steve didn’t know what to do.

“Have you never slow danced before, King Steve?”

“Uh. Just once.”

“Oh? Let me help you then.”

Eddie took his hands in his own and gently placed them around his neck, pulling himself closer to Steve when his hands found his hips again.

“This okay?”

“Yeah.”

Steve wasn’t sure how this was happening, how this was real.

He just knew he didn’t want it to end.

He rested his head against Eddie’s shoulder, letting himself enjoy what would probably be his only chance at dancing with Eddie for the rest of his life.

“Why do you keep sending people away?”

Why was Steve determined to ruin tonight with his stupid fucking questions?

“What do you mean?”

“It just seems like you don’t wanna share.”

Eddie didn’t respond.

Steve looked up at him, but his face was hard to read in the darkness of the bar.

“Eds?”

“I don’t.” Eddie cleared his throat. “I don’t wanna share you. I like having you all to myself. Sorry if I’ve ruined your night.”

He started to pull away and Steve panicked. He couldn’t say that and then leave.

“What do you mean? You haven’t ruined anything. I wanted to spend it with you, anyways.”

Eddie was searching his eyes, looking for any sign of a lie.

“Steve, I-” The song changed, but it was another slow song. They kept slowly rocking and staring at each other. “I have to tell you something. You’re probably gonna hate me and wanna leave me here in Indy.”

Steve gulped. Could he possibly have feelings for Steve?

“I uh. I sent them away because I was jealous.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I love you so fucking much I don’t know what to do with it all the time! Sometimes I hide in the bathroom during movie nights so I can scream into the towels. Do you know how ridiculous that is? I’ve even been caught by Max before and she promised not to say anything if I gave her $20.”

“Oh.”

Oh? What the hell Steve, say something else.

“So, I get it if you hate me. I mean, I don’t know how this happened and I have no right to send potential dates away because I want to keep you to myself.”

Steve leaned up and placed a kiss on Eddie’s cheek.

“I’m glad you got jealous.”

Eddie was blushing now.

“What?”

“If you hadn’t been jealous, you probably wouldn’t have told me all this, would you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“You know what helps with jealousy?”

Eddie looked down at him, more confused than ever.

Steve didn’t wait for him to respond.

“Making out in the bathroom of a gay bar.”

Eddie’s eyes practically bugged out of his head as he registered what Steve was saying.

“You wanna do that? With me?”

“Well, I certainly don’t wanna do it with anyone else. And you won’t let me do it with anyone else. So maybe we should do it together.”

Eddie grabbed his wrist and wordlessly led them to the bathroom in the back of the bar.

It wasn’t empty, but the single stall was available and Eddie made it pretty clear what their intentions were when he dragged Steve right into it, closing and locking the door only a second before his hot lips were on Steve’s.

It was better than what Steve could have possibly imagined, but still not enough.

Now that he knew Eddie wanted him, he wanted everything Eddie could give him.

And Eddie seemed to want to give it all to him.

His lips were almost too much, but Steve couldn’t get enough.

They weren’t even in a bathroom anymore, floating high above the clouds with happiness and contentment.

Until a knock on the stall door nearly made Steve give himself another concussion.

“Dingus One and Dingus Two! Super happy for you both, but it’s time to go.”

“Shit.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s nearly one in the morning and we agreed to leave by midnight. I got distracted by boobies.”

“Don’t we all,” Steve said, as Eddie let out a loud laugh.

They opened the stall door and Robin sighed.

“Fix your hair. I’ll be at the car.”

Steve looked in the mirror as she left the bathroom, smirking at Eddie’s reflection behind him in a similar state of disarray.

“Okay?”

“So okay.”

“You owe me a dance.”

“What? Why? We danced!”

“But it got interrupted. And I wanna dance with you.”

Eddie sighed, but smiled fondly at Steve.

“I’ll dance with you whenever you want, sweetheart.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #robin buckley #love confessions #possessive eddie munson #jealous eddie munson #platonic stobin #anon request #requests

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knight-already · 1 year

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Lily's character makes more sense if we analyze her as a poor child, who just like Severus, when they came to Hogwarts were surrounded by impossibly rich kids and so many of them too! Which made them feel a certain way as I'm sure they noticed the wide range of quality difference between them and their peers

Because poverty certainly has many lessons to be learnt and how we chose to apply those lessons are completely up to the individual -- that is to say no one person will have the same view.

Could you imagine, two sisters living in the working class. The eldest had between hand me downs and all the new stuff while the second sister takes her older sister's hand me downs only. That was their life for as long as they could remember.

They were fine with it because that was their reality.

Then one day the younger sister finds out that she is magic. So now, their parents have to change things up and buy her all these 'new' (though may as well be second hand) things that petunia will never use or need.

So everything they buy is solely for Lily.

This school has all these kids from different back grounds. Some so rich to the point only few could only imagine, but to Lily and Severus, even the student who was middle class was impossibly well off.

So, it leads to Lily possibly telling her parents about how she feels, and her parents do try to help her even just by buy a pair of brand new robes. Possibly taking away from Petunia yet again, who had to deal with her second had clothes because no one here was much better off.

I sure the small difference her parents tried to make was nothing to Lily as her peer's had so much more.

Petunia as she gets older tried to keep up this façade of always being the perfect middle class family. She wants to fit in amount her peers even as an adult. She never wants to be or remember where she came from. She just wants to keep the perfect appearance.

Then she gets Harry, she's already funny about magic. But I think it really struck a chord with her and somehow she was taking out old feelings for her sister on her son, that's where almost inhumane treatment of the two boys come in. Why she would rub it in Harry's face so much.

It's one thing to not approved of magic -- it's nothing to just plainly treat him so horribly. So she treated him like she felt her parents treated her.

So back to Lily, she would undoubtedly be at the bottom of her friend group, because she was the Snape of her friend group with the Gryffindor's and the only person who made her feel normal -- as though she was better off was Severus. So to fit in with her Gryffindor mattes she would have to hold the same beliefs and values like them, so she look like she somewhat belonged. I’m sure she saw how Severus was treated and maybe other girls, who were rather odd and didn’t fit the mold.

Who would want that for themselves? Even if those views went against Severus.

As soon as Petunia was able she left her home and went to work in an office where she met her husband and became a house wife. {no hate on house wives or husbands} She was trying to better herself before she landed a good husband who would take care of her. Similarly to what Lily did.

So I mean by fifth year James could do no wrong in her eyes, he was rich, smart, friendly(?) and popular and very vocal about his support for muggleborns. I’m sure he gave her tokens of his affections, and would be sweet to her and I’m sure James was a prize to be won, any student who had interest in him possibly always told her how lucky she was that he liked her -- even if she didn't like his actions, out of loyalty to Severus she kept turning him down, but once she no longer was Severus’ friend?

I swear ppl would see Lily and -- you know that joke where when you get a birthday card and it's stuffed with money, you would have to politely read the card and ignore them money, as though it didn't matter?

[But we all know we could just throw the card and count the cash?]

Yeah, that's how we think of Lily as some saint who is not blinded by money and material things. But just like any person she would want more.

You know, I dear even say that the Snape's, financially could have been better off than the Evan's. Because they were a three member household to a four member household. The only thing that have Severus the disadvantage was the neglect he held at his parents hands. That's what generally makes ppl think Lily and Petunia were better off that Severus.

Not to mention how strange of a child he was personality wise.

Of course the Snape's wouldn't be ALL that better off. But with only one child... I'm sure they had to get second hand things or new thing if they could but there was no other child to feel the brunt of that.

#severus snape #Young Severus #young snape #Pro Snape #Harry Potter #Lily Potter #lily evens #james potter

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booksandpaperss · 8 months

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kind of obsessed with the fact you've slowly gotten more blatant with heartstopper hate lmfao😭 it's like. fine to me it's cute but NOTHING SERIOUS IS EVER GOING ON so I gotta be in a really specific mood for it I still haven't watched s2. definitely couldn't be a fixation. and everyone fucking loves it it's the best thing since sliced bread and I'm like. why tho. and then any critique of it is sorta dumbed down to "oh you just don't like how sweet it is but teenagers deserve sweet romance" like ok but why's it gotta be boring though. and too healthy like beyond normal levels of healthy. like this is missing even the usual human levels of miscommunication. and it gets resolved too easy. sorry this was supposed to cut off 4 sentences ago I'm realizing now in your inbox that I apparently have beef with heartstopper

LKSSJJSJS LISTEN listen. I don’t even hate it. truly. I even genuinely enjoyed myself during the nick and Charlie parts bc that’s the part that thought is actually put into. I just hate how much everyone loves it so blindly

honestly my biggest beef with it is that it’s marketed and treated as the most genuine and diverse groundbreaking queer storyline there is when that’s literally so far from true and it really really shows ppls true colors when they think this bc the sapphics and POC are literal props it’s actually absurd for a show that’s supposed to be a safe space for queer ppl

and god do I hate that part of the reason it’s so popular is bc it portrays these queer teenagers as never having a single, physical thought in their entire life. there was this whole plot centered around one single hickey that Charlie had??? and something abt the physical attraction portion of it all, which they did try to show btw, felt disingenuous to me. and I know that’s why it’s so palatable to a mainstream audience and it pisses me off and again it just doesn’t feel genuine. which is ironically one of the main arguments against heartstopper criticism: “it’s not cringe it’s just earnest” when yeah maybe it’s Trying to be earnest but when u look at it from more than a surface level lens it’s not rlly succeeding

and I know the aroace storyline in season 2 with Isaac resonated with a lot of people and I think that’s wonderful, and I actually do think that was something that was done well, but how can you have a storyline around asexuality when you don’t show the contrast in how it is being an allosexual queer person. there was a whole lot of romantic attraction going on but even more tip toeing around the sexual attraction aspect. and I don’t expect it to be like sex education for example in terms of the focus on sex obv , but the lack of acknowledgment of that aspect of the queer experience paired with how much the uwu wholesomeness of it all is played up rlly rubs me the wrong way. once again: it feels dishonest

I was actually talking about this with one of my mutuals the other day and they pointed out that it is very plain that alice olseman did not consult a single queer man in the writers room. and if someone can prove this wrong be my guest but I rlly don’t think the whole physical attraction component would have been done so badly had an actual queer man been on the team. feels kind of like back in summer 2022 when byler shippers would literally shun and harass anyone who even implied that Will’s feelings for Mike probably included physical attraction meanwhile Noah Schnapp himself was making jokes about it bc he’s an actual gay teenager.

not gonna even get into right now how Tara and darcy felt even more like props this season than in the last one and I didn’t even like watching their scenes bc the writing itself felt performative. that’s a whole other post.

and man, wouldn’t it have been so nice if there had actually been people of color in that writers room. On a purely surface level heartstopper has a very diverse cast but once again, peel away even one layer and you realize it’s a bunch of tokenism, which brings me full circle back to my original point: you can’t say it’s peak representation and diversity when it’s whitewashed as hell and doesn’t gaf abt sapphics despite literally being written by one. guess she chose her whiteness over her queerness even when writing a queer story which wowwww sooooo original.

okayyyy anyways did NOT mean to write a whole essay but u discovering ur own beef reminded me of mine lmaooo

all of this was to say that basically I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t enjoy myself during parts of the show, and I don’t wanna shame ppl for liking it that is not at all what I’m trying to do here, it has its own place in queer media and if a show like this came out in like 2010 it would be groundbreaking despite its issues (but again it’s literally 2023 do fucking better) , but I take issue with people treating it like something it’s not and with the amount of love it gets I feel like I have to be really loud about my criticism of it, especially bc usually the criticism of the show that gets any attention isn’t even slandering it for the right reasons and like. if ur gonna hate on something queer and popular do it right

oh and heartstopper writers? maybe try speaking with an actual teenager once in your life before writing their dialogue they do not fucking communicate that well

okay I’m done now finally 🫡

#sorry rori I don’t know what came over me #booksandpaperss asks #should I make myself a rant tag #elli rants

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charliespringverse · 10 months

Text

iwbft — tuesday: a brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 136

· ouch/ow/owie: 12

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 5

· aroace: 2

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 9

Rowan is on his front, one arm slung over Jimmy's chest. Jimmy's head is tilted ever so slightly towards Rowan. — i've woken up like this with at least half my friends

The shipping itself isn't a major inconvenience to any of us. If anything, it keeps the fans interested. They think Judgement Day will eventually come and there'll be a big reveal that Rowan and I are secretly in love. There won't. We're not. — @larry shippers in the year of our lord 2023

It's always sort of been Rowan and Jimmy, plus Lister. We still love him of course. But that's just the way it is. — PAIN (note: this is all caps, huge, and triple underlined)

'I talk about The Ark all the time. I don't know why this was a surprise.' 'Fereshteh, it was a little bit of a surprise to me too.' 'Why?' 'I suppose... I suppose I never thought you actually cared about this band that much.' — parents vs actually listening to and validating their interests (failed, always)

Juliet chuckles weakly and looks away. I know she's had some bust-ups with her parents in the past. — understatement of the millennium

I'm an optimist. I like to believe that love exists. — it Does it just isn't always romantic/sexual. but it exists So Much

'I feel bad... feeling so happy when they're probably upset,' — ur so close to getting it queen

'Can't we just go home?' Lister mumbles. 'No,' she says. — foreshadowing innit

Rowan and I follow him immediately, like there's a string attaching us — ... invisible string addition to the folklore trilogy?

Lister tells us to go away, but Rowan just walks up to him and starts rubbing his back as he throws up. — ♡ listerowan bestieism

There's a big window on one side of the bathroom. Big enough to climb out, probably. We're on the ground floor. We could just climb out and run. Get up and go. — FORESHADOWING INNIT

Being trans has been a pretty you can big part of my life so far, thanks, but that shouldn't be particularly relevant here, in an interview about our music. — u can Never escape other ppl's obsession w ur transness

Dave laughs and says again, 'Now that's honesty.' — FUCK YOU DAVE (note: this is all caps, huge, and quadruple underlined)

I ask God to give me a bit of extra patience. Because every time Mac speaks, I sort of want to put an entire bag of cotton wool in his mouth. — what God is for x

Being a male fan of obscure old bands is, for some reason, more acceptable than being a female fan of a twenty-first-century boy band. — (also the obscure old bands are rarely that obscure. they're one direction for old white men)

They know exactly who they are. They put it in their blog about' page, they put it in their Twitter bio. I never know what to put in my Twitter bio so I usually just put an Ark lyric in there. — and when u enter ur confident aro-ace era? what then?

I like to think God does have a plan for everyone. But I also think there's too much shit in the world for all these plans to be perfect ones. Or maybe God doesn't have time to write a plan for everyone. And some of us are just trying our best and getting it a bit wrong. — i think this is why faith doesnt work for me

Everything's still there, though. My journals, my guitar, my main laptop, my childhood teddy bear, and the knife that Grandad gave me when I was sixteen. — now i want to know what he would admit to in one of them essentials interviews

It'd be useless as an actual weapon, since it's completely blunt - you can run your finger along the edge and not even get a scratch. — hhhh foreshadowing innit ☹

Not that he particularly goes seeking it. Everyone just wants to be friends with Lister Bird. — and yet he cares most abt getting closer to the two he shouldn't have to try for ☹

David [Tennant] thought she wanted a selfie, when in fact she was just trying to find the nearest toilet. — iconic

'Now, there'd better be some fucking Capri-Suns somewhere around here.' — me @ every function

When they were together they both seemed to stop worrying about everything else in their lives - Rowan was no longer an overworked band boy and Bliss was no longer a struggling student. They were just together. — ☹ justice for laimondi

Then he leans in and presses his lips against mine. Oh. Okay. Fine. This is fine. Can't say I realised this conversa- tion was going in this direction, but fine. — BAD (note: this is all caps, huge, and double underlined)

'But we're gods, Jimmy. What's better than that?' — pain. suffering. agony. heartache. torture, torment, anguish.

Holding it makes me feel real. It reminds me that I was born. That my life is something other than this birdcage I'm trapped in. Isn't it? Isn't it? — has his therapist ever discussed depersonalisation with him?

#iwbftreread #les go day 2 babey #(i reas this a lot earlier in the day i've just not rlly had the chance to access tumblr while travelling)#anygay less longwinded post coming later

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golbrocklovely · 5 months

Note

Hi, so the thing about the volunteer mods on xplrclub kind of rubs me the wrong way. They absolutely have made millions in their career, I mean their channel has been blowing up steadily for years. Their channel on top of merch sales, tours, xplrclub, they're living rather comfortably. One of the other anon's said colby has admitted to spending 10k a month on just clothing?? 10k is what I make in 5 months of working full time, dropping that on clothing in one year is insane let alone one month. Plus they have 2 mansions and not just rent but own. I'm the same age as them and I'm still living at home because despite having an MA and working full-time, my job doesn't pay me a wage that would allow me to live on my own without going completely broke and ending up in even more crippling debt.

I do like snc, as people I think they're probably really nice guys, but I think they've been in the influencer sphere for too long and no longer have any grasp on the real world. We're in a cost of living crisis right now, so asking anyone to essentially work for free is a bit tone deaf. I know they're not asking for crazy work, but they're still asking someone to give up their free time to put in labor for something they pay snc to be able to access. It's just a bit icky to me. Either don't charge them the monthly subscription if they're going to mod for you, or pay them. It just kind of strikes me as snc think their fans should be grateful to them for allowing them this opportunity to mod for them, that money shouldn't even be a factor. Idk, maybe I'm being a bit too harsh, but in the economy we're currently in, asking people for free labor while you are raking in hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars a year is gross.

Sorry for this long post, I just felt like I wanted to get it all out, haha.

you're totally fine to vent. i agree with a lot of what you're saying. i think it's ridiculous that snc would think mods should be volunteers and not paid employees.

but to defend snc just a small amount….

snc haven't stated what the "perks" will be of being a mod. so it's possible it's negotiable to ask for a free membership as a mod, if not possibly more. on top of that, now that it has been a day and i'm not as upset as i was, i think the reason snc think this volunteer system is okay is bc when they did a livestream on wednesday, they mentioned getting mods and ppl in the comments started asking to be a mod.

not to mention the amount of ppl that have already applied to be mods. i mean the last time i checked the post (and this was yesterday mind you), there was 50+ comments, and only three of them were critical about this whole thing and one of them was me. so a lot of ppl are fine with being mods without being paid.

that, tied with ppl being on twitch and streamers pick randos from their fandom to be mods, i bet snc think this is the best case scenario and way to go about things.

i would like to believe that it's mostly this, tied with a little bit of snc being cheap lol

and look, personally idc how snc spend their money. they made it, they can do what they want with it. even if i think it's outrageous to spend 10k on clothes in a month. reality is, we're just in a different tax bracket than them. i don't relate to them on that level. and i wouldn't want them to act poor, so to speak. so….. it is what it is.

that being said, they should pay for mods. mods should be ppl not in the fandom. bc even tho snc also stated in the post that there is no amount of time you have to be online and moderating, i know there are some fans that if they do it, will be on 24/7 and will neglect their lives just to be in snc's good graces assumingly. and i think that's where an extra layer of problems lie. the lack of money is an issue, the trusting of fans is an issue, the possible future problems is another, and so on.

it would be better to get rid of chat, impo. but they ain't gonna listen to me lol

#ask #personal #snc bs

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dogfags · 6 months

Text

I <3 my like 2 friends but I don't feel connected or integrated into my general community at all. I kinda came to the conclusion that I dislike someone I considered a pretty good friend bc they clearly have some problem with me / their personality just rubs me the wrong way. It's hard bc I've always had a difficult time making friends. My bf has 0 trouble making friends and he's closer to some of my friends than I am now when I'm the one who introduced them. It just sucks. I wish I could start over somewhere.

The gay scene in my city is also just full of tenderqueers and ppl I don't relate to at all so it's hard to date/find friends and I lucked out w Craig bc we share a lot of the same ideals but even with him I feel like an alien sometimes. I don't feel like I fit in with other trans ppl and only ever felt any sort of community when I thought I was a lesbian. Giving up that community to transition was hard but necessary. But now I just feel completely alien to other trans and gay ppl. It's easier to relate to others when I'm stealth like at school bc they don't already know me / have any preconceived ideas about me and they're not gunna put me in a box except maybe that I'm gay which is fine.

I just miss having a sense of community like I used to. Like when I'd go to punk shows I felt that there or when I was in college living on campus. I like my coworkers but they never invite me to hang out outside of work like they do with each other. And idk how to just invite myself along when I don't even know or hear about what they're doing. The girls at cos school are rly nice and I'd like to befriend at least the girl who's been my partner for most of the time there but I'm just ?? So socially awkward and anxious idk how to be like haha pls be my friend. She doesn't use any social media so I can't rly use that as a way in. Idkkk

I got lucky with Sonya bc I got randomly assigned her and Chloe as roommates and we just became good friends. But even the ppl Sonya hangs out with don't seem to want to get to know me or become friends. Craig and Sonya are always going and hanging out with people and it makes me sad being home alone but I also don't rly know anybody like that nor do I have much time now to hang out with others since I'm either in school or at work constantly. Even my online friends don't rly text me anymore and idk I'm just getting lonely.

Part of me wants to just withdraw into myself and isolate even further. I wish I could leave Indy and move somewhere better and start over. But there's so much keeping me here. Craig doesn't want to leave any time soon and I can't imagine doing anything on my own like that when I'm this broke. I just hate it here I want to pack up and leave but I can't. In a fantasy land I'd go live in Seattle or somewhere close in Washington. Make all new friends who didn't know me during my unmedicated undiagnosed in denial about being trans era. I'd love it if I could just change my legal sex and go stealth for the rest of my life and never have to deal with shit like that again. I'm returning to the insane loneliness I felt growing up in grade school bc we lived on a farm in the middle of fucking nowhere and I had no friends bc I cried constantly at school and was a weird kid.

#barks #idk #shit just sucks

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mysunnylemonade · 3 years

Text

insecurities | lee jeno

↳ pairing: lee jeno (nct) x fem!reader

↳ genre: slight angst, mostly fluff & suggestive but only if u squint rlly hard

↳ word count: 1482

↳ warning: reader being insecure about her looks i guess?? (love urself ppl yall beautiful <3)

song recommendation: met a girl by tarune

♡

Hate was a strong word, but you felt it was appropriate to say that you absolutely hated nights like the one you were having on this particular day. Standing half-naked in front of the full-body mirror situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your eyes swept over your body once more. You despised the way your gaze lingered on the stretch marks that tainted your skin.

Wallowing in self-pity and stressing over your physical flaws wasn't exactly a standard routine for you, especially when Jeno was around. But your boyfriend wouldn't be back until late at night, having texted you he had something to do that would require him to stay at the studio longer than usual.

You turned to the side, pressing your palm over your stomach, rubbing up and down as if it would magically flatten your abdomen. Nothing happened, of course, leaving you feeling sick and fed up with the thoughts you were having.

You wiped the tears accumulating in your eyes, not allowing it to trickle down your cheeks. You could see your boyfriend's face in your mind and briefly wondered whether you were truly good enough for him. You didn't blame your insecurities on him, never. Your boyfriend was nothing but loving, and he showered you with gifts just as much as he showered you with loving words, but there were times when it was remarkably hard to believe his kind words.

You wished you could miraculously switch off your mind and climb out of this self-loathing pit you had willingly put yourself into. It was your fault, you would admit that. If you hadn't decided to strip into your underwear and scrutinise yourself in the mirror then maybe you would've been in the dining room enjoying the dinner you had made by now.

As you were stepping closer to the mirror to get a better lock at your face, you heard the turning of a key in a lock before the front door was pushed open. The realisation that Jeno had come home much earlier than you expected kept you paralysed on the spot. It wasn't until you heard the front door shutting that you were finally able to move, hastily wiping the tears from your reddened eyes and shrugging on the robe you had carelessly tossed onto the bed.

You heard him call for your name but you didn't respond, scurrying into the bathroom to wash your face in hopes of being able to get rid of any evidence that you had been crying. Jeno couldn't know. You weren't going to drag him into your mess.

You cursed to yourself as you studied your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks and nose were flushed, and your eyes were unmistakably bloodshot. There was no way Jeno wouldn't notice.

"Baby, you in here?" Jeno called out from the entrance of the bedroom. You heard shuffling as he took off his jacket. When he spoke again, his voice was dangerously close to the bathroom, and you immediately faked a smile. "Hey, why haven't you eaten dinner yet? Were you waiting for me?"

Turning your head, you were met with your boyfriend's figure standing in the bathroom doorway. It tugged your heart to see him look so beautiful, even after a whole day of working. You just couldn't understand why he had chosen you. Why hadn't he picked someone with less baggage and imperfections?

You watched as his small smile transformed into a frown. Without any hesitation, he stepped forward to grab your hand. "Hey, have you been crying? What's wrong?"

You forced a quiet chuckle. "I was watching this new romance movie that just released." You watched his face closely, swallowing when you saw that his worried expression hadn't dissipated at all. "Have you eaten dinner yet? Go shower and come eat dinner with me."

You squeezed his hand assuringly once more before walking past him to give him some privacy in the bathroom. "Were you really just watching a movie? You look like you've been crying for hours."

You plopped onto the bed with a huff and looked up to see Jeno had walked out of the bathroom and was slowly approaching your sitting form. "Babe, we've been dating long enough for you to know I'm sensitive when it comes to tragic endings."

He stood in front of you, cupping your cheeks in his hand to tilt your head up. "Yeah, and I also know my girlfriend enough to know whenever she's lying."

You managed to smile and shake your head as he pressed his thumbs to caress the irritated skin underneath your puffy eyes. "Jeno, I'm okay."

Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against yours, causing your noses to brush. The both of you stayed like that for a few more seconds, and you welcomed the distraction. You wanted to forget the cause of your previous breakdown and Jeno's presence was helping tremendously.

Feeling the gentle brush of his lips against yours, you gasped, hands flying to grasp his arms. "Jeno," you breathed, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes. They were dark, wild, so lovely.

"Tell me," he muttered softly.

Unable to look into his eyes as you confessed, you looked down at your lap. "I'm sorry," you began. "It's just so stupid. You're the best boyfriend there is, you treat me so well, and you're just so beautiful, Jeno, and I don't know how to... compete with that."

Once again, he forced your head up so he could look into his eyes. "Baby, we're not competing for anything. What are you trying to say?"

"I just can't understand why you're still with me. I'm so flawed, and you can settle for someone who's so much more good looking, someone who can give you so much more than I can."

Jeno's face remained expressionless as he gazed down at you, but you could tell the gears in his head were all turning. His silence worried you so you shifted in your seat awkwardly.

He seemed to notice your slight movement and finally snapped out of his train of thoughts. "Wait, you're not messing with me, right?"

Groaning, you tried to stand up, but he held your waist before you could walk away. "Okay, I know it's stupid. Can we just forget about it? Please?"

His eyes widened and he pulled you closer to him until there was no space left in between the two of you. "No, no, this is far from stupid. If you feel this way, it means I haven't done a good job at being your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be making you feel loved, but—"

"No! You've been a perfect boyfriend, you're perfect. It's not your fault, seriously, it's mine."

"If this is about the way you look, then I'll have to disagree and say that it's not your fault. Everything you consider imperfections or flaws, they're a part of you, and I fell in love with that a long time ago, and I'm not falling out of love anytime soon."

"I'm sorry for being so insecure. I just... I feel like you deserve better."

His lips broke out into a soft yet wistful smile. "You're not in any position to tell me what I deserve and don't baby," he mumbled lightheartedly. "Being with you was a choice that I made, loving you is something that I choose to do until now. All these choices that I made are all choices that I made deliberately, not because I'm forced to."

Unable to say anything else, your tears began to blur your visions once again, but this time it was because you were thankful. You felt so blessed that out of all of the people in the world, you ended up with Lee Jeno—a boy whose smile shone as bright as the sun and whose heart was beautiful and kind. "I love you so much," you managed to splutter out.

Sensing the oncoming tears, Jeno bent his knees a little so that he was eye-level with you. "Hey, don't cry, I love you too," he spoke, his smile now reaching his eyes, turning them into the little crescent moon that you adored so much. "You make me happy, and that's more than enough for me. Is that enough for you?"

You nodded. "All I ever want is for you to be happy, Jeno."

He visibly relaxed at this, and gone was the solemn atmosphere that once lingered in the air. "That's settled then. You're not getting rid of me that easily because you want me happy and I'm the happiest when I'm with you. So, will you lie down on the bed for me now?"

Tilting your head, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"I still need to show you how beautiful you are to me and I don't think words are gonna cut it."

"Lee Jeno!"

♡

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aroaceconfessions · 2 years

Note

Jaidenanimations recently made a video abt being aroace. It’s created a lot of exposure for the community (good for now) and I’m happy that she’s figuring herself out, but idk. Parts of the video rubbed me the wrong way. I think I’m just…old and jaded I guess, having been around at like the height of online aphobia at a time when the only reason ppl irl weren’t all super aphobic was bc no one knew what it was. I saw the destruction of the community then and it’s not something I ever, ever want to see again. And idk I just felt like she brushed over and didn’t mention a lot of the worst parts of being aspec, like the loneliness and abuse and silence of it all. And that’s fine, that’s completely her right. It just feels weird ig to know that so many ppl’s first impressions of us will be as a part of the queer community who is doing fine if a little small and not well known. And maybe it’s that part of my identity as aspec has become witnessing and experiencing that destruction and abuse and loneliness but maybe it’s that i just know that the allo ppl watching that video are going to have the same idea that we’re not hurt by ppl, that we’re all happy and confident, when a lot of us aren’t. A lot of us really really arent. There’s just something abt the angst of being aspec; when not mentioned explicitly, it so often goes ignored. Idk tho, thoughts?

#jaiden animations #aromantic #asexual #aroace #coming out #aphobia

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movedbl0g · 3 years

Text

Skz reacting to you being sick

A/N: I’m actually kinda sick right now (it’s just a cold so I’m still good) and this idea popped up in my head ~ i hope you guys like it!!

Genre: fluff

Warnings: sickness, slight swearing(only once)

————gifs belong to their original owners————

Chan:

We all know that he takes care of other ppl VERY well

I feel like he would check up on you frequently and bringing you the stuff you need

Would not leave your side, would try to comfort you in every way possible

“Y/n??”, Chan called through the apartment after he opened the door and saw that all the lights were turned off. He walked further into the apartment looking around , but there was no sign of you.

When he finally opened your bedroom door he saw you laying in your bed, covered in blankets with a pile of tissues besides you. As you noticed his presence,you gave him a weak smile that was probably not even visible due to the dim lights.

“Are you okay??”, Chan asked, sitting down on your bed and giving you a little kiss on the forehead. You just shook your head no while you clinged on Chan, in which he responded with a tight hug, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you into his lap.

He just held you for a while,his hands sliding through your hair and light kisses in your forehead from time to time.

“Do you need me to get you anything??Should i get some meds??”, he asked after a while but you just held him closer.

“No,don’t worry,cuddles are enough for now”

Lee Know:

He would try to cheer you up and distract you from your suffering fhchrhdh

He would cook some comforting food like soup for you

We would insist on doing everything thing for you so you can take proper rest

You just texted him that you couldn’t make it to your date today because you weren’t feeling that well and now, ten minutes later he already stood at your door step, a bag of groceries in his left hand and a bag with different medications in the other.

“What are you doing here lino and what’s all that stuff for??” You asked as soon as you opened the door and got a sight of him being packed with stuff.

“I didn’t know what you needed so i brought all different kinds of medications and since i already was about to come over i also thought that i can cook something for you so you can take proper rest”, he started talking with a pout on his lips.

As he started cooking you tried to help him but he immediately scolded you, saying that you shouldn’t spread all of your germs around and should rest on the couch instead while he will cook for you.

(Small time skip)

“This soup was amazing lino!! i already feel way better now and i can help you clean the kitchen-“

“No you’re not doing anything but rest, you’re sick baby!!”

Changbin:

I feel like he would give you A LOT of cuddles to make you feel better

Would try to make you laugh and lift your mood

But would also give you the rest you need

you couldn’t really sleep last night due to your horrible headache, that wouldn’t get better even tho you took several painkillers and tried to avoid anything that’s bright,it just wouldn’t get better.

When Changbin visited you after he was done with practicing for the day and turned on the lights, you immediately responded with a groan, causing him to immediately turn off the lights again while giving you a worried look.

„What’s wrong honey??“, he asked while walking up to,laying himself on the bed right next to you, immediately wrapping his arms around and holding you against his chest.

“I’m not feeling that well and i think I’m really hot...i should probably check my temperature...” you said while nuzzling your head into Changbins chest. “But honey”, he chuckled, “you’re always hot”

You playfully slapped him as response, making him ruffle through your hair so it looks all messy and it eventually turned until a play fight, until you held your head,mimicking that it hurts a lot.

Changbin immediately stopped and laid you down in the bed again, tucking you under the blanket,giving you one small kiss on the forehead, saying that you should rest now before he left the room.

Hyunjin:

So we all know how dramatic he is

So i can definitely imagine him running around and screaming after telling him you’re sick

He would keep his distance so he doesn’t get sick too but would still take care of you really well

Would order your favorite food and watch a movie with you (plus he probably would give in to cuddles after a while too)

“WHAT”, he yelled out dramatically, eyes and mouth wide opened. “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE A COLD WHAT IF I GET SICK AND-“

“Hyunjin, calm down it’s just a light cold and it’s almost gone again-“ you tried to calm him down, reaching out for his hand. “Ahhh don’t touch me- all of your germs are on my hand now-“ he dramatically said while walking away from you, shaking his hands as if it would shake of any germs.

You rolled your eyes,seeing Hyunjin running out if the room completely panicked and at this point you couldn’t even tell if he was teasing you or if he was serious.

He didn’t return for a quite long time, you got a little bit suspicious, but after a few more minutes,he returned with a grin on his face.

“I thought you died because you drank hand sanitizer or something to get rid of the germs-“ you teased him, cocking up your eyebrows while looking at him.

“Not that buuuutttt”, he then replied, a smirk appearing on his face,” i ordered your favorite take out food and I’m willing to watch a movie to you, but only with a safe distance,okay”

“Thank you babe”, you smiled at him and blew him a kiss afterwards “but are you sure that you don’t wanna cuddle??”

Jisung:

I feel like he’d be really panicked at first

“are you sure that you’re okay??do you need any meds??maybe you should go to the doctor i can-“

After making sure that you’re not dying, he’d make sure to give you a lot of cuddles and kisses (but only on the cheek/jawline/forehead kisses)

Jisung was completely freaked out when he say you sitting in the couch, wrapped up in thousands of blankets, tons of used tissues laying around you and your face red from the fever you were having.

He immediately dropped all of his bags, running up to you grabbing your hands full in panic, looking you in the eyes like your about to die.

“Are you okay??”, he asked with big eyes squeezing your hands.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a little cold”, you said in a raspy voice, forcing yourself to give him a little smile.

“Are you sure your not dying??” he continued asking, his face expressions more serious that ever “or do you need any meds?? I can get some for you if you want...and you really don’t wanna go to the doctor...i mean you can go just to be sure....wait I’ll make you some tea, i’ll be right back”

You tried to calm him down a bit,but he already disappeared in the kitchen,coming back minutes later with a huge can of tea.

“And just to make sure that you’re not dying,i guess i have to pepper you with kisses babe”

Felix:

CUDDLEBUG

would not let you out of his embrace

would probably bake some brownies for you because he knows you live them while you sleep

he would just be so sweet and caring in general my heart is melting if i just think abt it ahhhh

You were waking up in Felix’s arms,your head pressed against his chest and his lips resting next to your forehead. As you slowly woke up, you felt a horrible pain in your throat and you noticed that you could barely breathe through your nose.

“Baby?”, you whispered to him,getting a hum as reaponse. “I don’t feel that well, i think I’m going to get sick” you said, feeling him shuffle away a little bit to take a look at your face.

“You really look a little bit sick” he said, his eyes carefully scanning your face. “Do you need any meds or should we go to the doctors?”, he carefully asked while his eyes came back ti yours, making eye contact.

“No i think it’s not that bad,but i like that you’re really warm”, you told him while coming closer to his chest again, the warmth of his embrace sending shivers down your spine. He immediately held you closer, his long arms wrapping around you and carefully drawing circles on your beg,until you drifted of to sleep.

When you woke up it was way brighter,so you probably slept for a few hours. When you noticed that Felix was gone, you let out a small cry, but you immediately got distracted by the smell of fresh brownies.

Just now the door opened,Felix walking in with a cup of hit chocolate in his one hand and a plate with a brownie in the other.

“Here, to make you feel a little bit better” he said while handing you the plate and a fork, giving you a huge smile.

Seungmin:

I feel like he would be similar to Changbin

We would look super concerned at you with his puppy dog eyes

Would try to make you laugh with corny jokes

CUDDELS

You told Seungmin that you were sick before he came over,warning him from yourself, but when he came over and actually saw how sick you looked with glassy eyes, a red,runny nose and burning hot cheeks.

He looked at you scanning you from head to toe, his puppy eyes furrowed concerned, slowly walking up to you. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were THAT sick??”, he asked worryingly while pulling you into a hug, the tone of his voice almost making your heart break.

“It’s really not as bad as it looks”,you reassured him,your hand gently rubbing over his back. “But did you bring the thermometer, i think i really should take my temperature”

“Of course”, he said with a smile, breaking the hug to reach into his bag,grabbing the theometre and holding it against your forehead

“And??what does it say??”,you asked curiously.

Seungmin just let out a little chuckle before saying “well,you know..... i always told you that you were hot as fuck....”

Jeongin:

I think we wouldn’t quite know what to do bc the others always took care of him

But he‘d definitely make you some warm tea to make you feel better

Would probably end up calling chan for advice lol

This poor baby got so concerned when you started sneezing nonstop and would rest, but now that you were in your bed, basically knocked out from your fever.

“Uhmmm...is there anything i can...like give you??” He asked,his voice filled with uncertainty. “

“Yes please”, you groaned,”i really think that i need some meds”

“Uhmm sure, I’m gonna look at what i have here, but i already made you some tea, so drink that while i be looking for...uh whatever medication that will make you feel better...just uhmm...wait here...”, he said while placing a cup of tea on your nightstand.

As soon ad he disappeared to look for the right meds, he called chan.

“Channie, i really really need your help....you know y/n is sick and i don’t know how the right medications look like....yeah i need something against fever....the one with the red or blue label?? And do we have to go to the doctor or-“

🖤masterlist

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ramblingsekai · 2 years

Text

Oh god, I bought Rogue Legacy 2 and Slay the Spire and I’ve been so distracted playing them that the Stray Bad Dogs event snuck up on me. I’ve barely been checking tumblr and twitter and just happened to notice bc the L/n event ended last night. Anyways, I decided to do some scrolling thru tumblr and decided to make some random HCs that I couldn’t figure out how to make into longer posts. Just gonna be something fun and kinda scrambled thoughts I’m dumping into one post. I think I did something similar one time but it ended up being only 25ji HCs, but this time I’ll try to do more than them. Let’s gooo.

MMJ HC

Assuming that MMJ is using something like YT or Twitch to stream their stuff, I like to think that MMJ’s friends end up getting mod status or something similar. Eventually MMJ get full-time mods that aren’t their friends, but I think it’d be cute if the other characters pop in to watch the streams when they can and end up helping out if they’re there.

Kohane and An would type messages to cheer on MMJ as well as reminding ppl to be respectful.

Shiho, Ena, and An also end up being the ones to block spammers and delete more hateful messages. Bc there’s always going to be trolls, but hopefully other fans also help out too.

I’d like if Nene helps out with modding in general too, but I’m not sure how close Nene is with MMJ. I think she might be friends with Minori after Scramble Fest, but it’s hard to say.

If it’s Twitch, maybe Mizuki ends up helping out by making highlight vids every once in awhile (I think Mizuki is a fan anyways so not out of bounds).

All their friends usually end up reblogging/retweeting posts about special events for MMJ.

Like obviously the other characters aren’t full time and are just helping out when they can, but I always wonder how well MMJ is handling the more streaming live/online videos aspect of their careers at this point. I know that the latest Haruka event in JP talked about a new producer for the group, a not Tik Tok app, and MMJ getting flamed bc of a new song sounding similar to another one as well as showing Haruka dealing with her previous feelings about her temporary retirement. This is all based on what I saw on Twitter and some machine translations, but I’d rather not form assumptions based on machine translations and unfortunately there aren’t any fan translations for the event online so I guess I’ll just wait for now.

VBS

So something I’ve never been able to clearly remember, did Akito ever properly apologize to Kohane about the whole stage lights thing in the main story? I feel like Kohane and An just sorta forgave him after learning the truth, but Akito himself never actually said ‘I’m sorry’. So I kinda want Akito to at some point to properly say that he is sorry to Kohane. Bc even if he wasn’t the one to close the lights, he still intended to try to scare off Kohane bc he didn’t think she was serious about performing music. Now I get it, Akito is super serious about music and thinks that if you’re saying you want to surpass Rad Weekend, you need to be serious. However, Kohane was still a rookie at the time. Just bc she was still new, it didn’t mean she wasn’t serious about it. Akito was new at some point too and had to learn about Vivid Street and music too before realizing his dream more. So I guess it just sorta rubs me the wrong way that Akito tried so hard to scare off Kohane, bc Akito himself was a rookie too at the start and he didn’t give Kohane a chance to pursue the dream. I also wonder if Akito has high-ish standards for An since she’s Ken’s daughter and is serious (in his POV) about surpassing RW, so in a way he felt like An wasn’t living up to his standards. I should probably have reread the main story before typing this, but Akito’s actions and attitude in the main story always seemed pretty hypocritical and petty to me, so I kinda just want him to sit down with Kohane and give a proper apology.

I know it seems like I dislike Akito from this, but I honestly like the guy. Out of all the guys in Proseka, he’s actually my favorite alongside Toya. A thing to keep in mind, Akito is a teenager, and teenagers do dumb and petty shit often bc they’re teenagers. I don’t excuse his actions, but I get it. And he did seem to learn from the whole thing and ended up becoming good friends with An and Kohane still. Plus, I think he’s actually pretty perceptive towards others feelings ( i.e An’s events, Ena and their dad, Toya, etc.).

So my HC with Akito is that maybe he was so harsh with Kohane bc he saw a partial reflection. Kohane has a lot of parallels alongside Toya (not seeing RW but still trying to surpass it, quieter/calmer personalities, etc), but I think Kohane also has some parallels with Akito. Both don’t come from a musical background, so they had to start from the ground up, their respective partners are more experienced in music than they are, etc. But maybe when first seeing Kohane, he’s reminded of his younger self and soccer. Akito was really crushed about soccer during that summer festival event and ended up being lost until he found a new passion in street music. But the road was probably hard since he had to go it alone, plus this was probably going on at the same time as his home situation with Ena and their dad having their first fight. It got easier over time, especially after meeting Toya. So I wonder if when he first saw Kohane, he saw a version of his younger self and was trying to somehow spare her from the displaced feeling he felt after being crushed in soccer. Again, not to excuse his actions bc it’s still kinda shitty, but showing another POV of what he did.

Obviously, Akito and Kohane are good friends now, but I also hope that Akito and Kohane’s friendship as well as An and Toya’s friendship grow more in the future. I saw around Twitter ppl complaining about how VBS feels more like 2 groups who happen to sing songs together rather than one cohesive unit like w/ the other groups, and I get it. But I also disagree, since I think VBS is learning from each other and the whole 2 pairs thing is sort of a rivalry thing. The pairs push each other to be better as well as helping each other out. Akito helps An out with her feelings/actions towards Kohane as her partner, An reminds Akito that he’s not alone and has a group of friends he can rely on, Kohane is an unpolished diamond that is slowly revealing her shine which is pushing the others to keep moving forward/improving, Kohane is also a sort of opposite of Toya in that she’s a more natural type of musical genius who understands the feeling behind music (we see this with her lessons from Taiga and how open with her emotions she is) while Toya is the more classically trained genius who has put hundreds of hours into music. So Kohane and the others help Toya out with his feelings and music while Toya/An/Akito also helps teach Kohane the ropes. Their combined rigorous training and Kohane’s hard work outside of their practice ends up causing Kohane to level up faster (VBS Miku points that out too at some point in an event later lol).

So yeah that’s all I’m going to put for now. I said I’d do multiple groups, but I ended up doing like 2 groups and they were pretty large rambles too lol. Still, I haven’t done a long ramble in awhile so this was kinda fun for me. I noticed I’ve been slowing down with the longer posts bc I’ve kinda caught up on all the fan translation stuff so now I have to reread stuff or just wait for it to come out on global.

I realize I sorta ended up posting more incorrect quotes stuff than rambles/theories stuff lately. I wonder if I should cut back on that or not? (let me know if that type of stuff is annoying).

But still, let me know your thoughts on what I said. Agree, disagree? Did I miss something? Feel free to let me know. Thanks for reading!

#project sekai #project sekai rambles #more more jump #vivid bad squad #akito shinonome #i ended up talking about akito more than i thought i would lol #despite what i say and how much i make fun of him i do like him #kohane azusawa #i also realize i am biased towards kohane lol #hashtag put more glasses in proseka

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junko-and-riri-domain · 3 years

Text

something you could almost label as love | pjs

hi everyone !! tatts & cupcakes is back :)) idk if anyone still remembers it at this point or even wants to continue reading the series 😭 but thank you for all the interactions while i was ia on this blog 🥺 <3

i haven’t updated in a while so if i missed anyone on the taglist pls lmk also tumblr was being a dum dum and i couldn’t tag a few ppl so if you’re one of them i’m sorry 😪

You felt your palms sweating as you opened the door to reveal K, Heeseung, and Jake. While you weren’t worried about Ni-ki going out with Heeseung and Jake, you were nervous about him going out with K. Ni-ki didn’t know K was his father which was something you and K decided not to reveal until Ni-ki got more comfortable with K which was why they were going to the nearby plaza to shop with Heeseung, Jake, and Jungwon. Sunghoon would stop by the bakery later today to pick up the lunch you had offered to make and pack for them all.

“You good?” Heeseung asked, squeezing your shoulder as an act of reassurance. You nodded and took a deep breath, watching cautiously as Jungwon and Ni-ki went up to K and Jake.

“Just nervous, I guess.”

“I’ll make sure nothing goes wrong, don’t worry,” Heeseung said causing you to smile at him. Jay and Sunoo were going to spend the day together at home, something that you suggested in hopes of easing Jay’s stress. If Jay saw for himself how well Sunoo had gotten, he’d feel better about letting him go back to school tomorrow. After they left you saw Sunoo sulking on the couch, arms crossed and lips formed in a pout. Sitting next to him,

“What’s wrong bubs?”

“I wanted to go with them!” You sighed, petting his hair,

“I know, I know. But at least you’ll go to school tomorrow, right? You’ll get to see all your friends again!” you said in what hopefully sounded like a cheery tone. Yet still, Sunoo didn’t seem satisfied.

“How about I make you tteokboki for lunch tomorrow, will that help cheer you up?” At those words, Sunoo’s eyes up lit up and you knew that there was your sunshine. As much as Sunoo didn’t want you do, you had to leave to open up the bakery.

“I can drop you off,” Jay offered as you were putting your things in your bag.

“It’s ok, really Jay, thank you. Have fun at home with Sunoo, ok?” While you had left in a frenzy, there was now an extra thought added to Jay’s mind. “At home,” you called it. Yours and Ni-ki’s he wanted it to be.

You enjoyed your morning at the bakery, chatting with regulars, and giving out freebies to the cute little kids that stopped by with their parents. When Sunghoon stopped by, you set a picnic basket on the counter, about to explain the food inside when you suddenly received a call from the landlady of your and Ni-ki’s apartment.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hi, you live in Apartment 22, right?” you heard from the other side of the line.

“Yes, I do.”

“Everyone needs to evacuate and pack up their things by tonight, there’s a rat infestation and the exterminators say that it’ll take 2 weeks until anyone can return to the building.”

“A rat infestation?” Why the hell was there a rat infestation and why was she telling you now?

“I’m sorry, hon. Everyone needs to pack what they can by 3 pm.” Checking the time, on your phone, it was only 11:21.

“Thanks for letting me know, I’ll leave right now,” was all you could say before ending the call. Sunghoon looked at you with a worried expression on his face,

“Rat infestation?” he asked. You nodded,

“Me and Ni-ki’s apartment, apparently it’ll take two weeks.”

“The two of you are staying at Jay’s place, though.”

“Yeah, but Ni-ki and I were gonna move out the day after tomorrow.”

“Just stay for two more weeks.”

“Hoon, I can’t do that. It’s not fair.”

“To Jay? I don’t think he’d mind if you two-”

“Not to Jay,” you muttered.

“Jungwon and Sunoo? But they like having their Ni-ki dongsaeng around.”

“To me! Sunghoon, it’s not fair to me!” you admitted.

“I- wait what?”

“I just, it’s not,” you took a deep breath, “Jay is good to me and Ni-ki, I know he is. But there’s just so much happening with Sunoo recovering and K returning. I can’t keep living with Jay, Jungwon, and Sunoo acting as if this whole situation is normal.”

“Do you want it to be?”

“What?”

“Living with Jay, being with his kids, do you want it to be normal?” You almost scoffed at the question,

“Of course I do, who wouldn’t?”

“Then make it normal.”

“Hoon, it’s not that easy. Getting into a relationship with three kids involved is messy and stupid and not the kind of heartbreak I’m willing to put anyone through.”

“Who says it’ll end in heartbreak.”

“That’s the only way I see this ending.”

“Open your eyes then.”

You quickly closed the bakery then rushed to your apartment and somehow, Jay and Sunoo were already there. Sunghoon probably told them.

“Hey,” Jay said as you walked up to them.

“You didn’t have to show up.”

“Of course I did, you and Ni-ki are staying for longer and I should help you move your stuff.”

“Jay, I don’t wanna be a bother. Ni-ki and I can spend the two weeks in a hotel, it’s fine.” Your tone was colder than anything that Jay had ever felt before.

“Are you uncomfortable? Living with me, I mean. Because if you are, I’m sorry.”

You wanted to tell him. Wanted to tell you that he made you weak with his soft gazes and sudden smile. Wanted to tell him that he made you regret how you had gotten so accustomed to his warmth that you probably wouldn’t be able to sleep without it. Wanted to tell him how he gave you hope, maybe love was in the cards for you one day. Wanted to tell him how he made you dream of the picture-perfect life you once thought was stupid. He made you weak, regret, hope, and dream in all the ways you didn’t know were possible but never were you uncomfortable.

“I just don’t wanna keep mooching off of you in your own house.”

“Really, I don’t mind if you and Ni-ki stay for longer. After all, what’s another two weeks?”

“You’re sure?”

“I am.”

“Pinky promise,” you said, bringing up your hand. He smiled as he interlocked your pinkies together and let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in.

You packed as many as your and Ni-ki’s clothes that you could, in the process bringing a couple of your blankets and little trinkets that you felt comfortable with. While you were in the car with Jay and Sunoo, the trunk filled to the brim with your and Ni-ki’s things.

“Are you really sure it’s ok that I brought so much stuff?”

“Don’t worry.”

“What if there’s not enough space? Your closet’s already full and Ni-ki’s toys might get everywhere.” Jay’s hand moved away from the gearshift and gravitated towards your hand, his thumb rubbing soothing circles,

“We’ll make space.”

The rest of the day went by easily, the guys decided to stay for dinner, and being with K for a longer period of time went by better than you expected. Before you and Jay fell asleep the two of you made a plan for tomorrow since it was Sunoo’s first day back at school. Sometime throughout the night, you woke up to go to the bathroom. After getting out of the bathroom and heading back to the bed,

“No,” you heard with what almost sounded like a whimper, causing you to turn on the lights to see Jay in bed with his eyes closed.

“Jay?”

“I-it’ll, it’ll be ok,” you heard him mutter, seeing him twitch slightly. Tears escaped his eyes as he muttered incoherent words. He was having a nightmare.

“Jay!” you exclaimed, shaking him slightly in hopes that it’d be enough for him to wake up but he stayed within the depths of his nightmare. Not knowing what else to do, you lightly slapped his cheeks, and somehow, that had work. The upper half of his body rose up, eyes frantic as they looked around the room, and only seemed to calm down when they settled on you. You feel him hug you, an action you returned by running your hand through his hair and rubbing his back as he panted heavily trying to return his breathing back to normal.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you asked cautiously.

“We were in the hospital again. But this time,” he let out a shaky breath, his hold on you tightening, “Sunoo didn’t, he didn’t, love, I, I can’t-” Jay couldn’t bring himself say it out loud but you didn’t need to hear the words to know what he dreamt. Sunoo didn’t make it out alive.

“It’s ok, just keep breathing with me, yeah? Your boys are safe and sound in their room and Sunoo’s going back to school tomorrow, well, technically later. We made a plan, remember?” He nodded, seeming to calm down slightly.

“What was the plan? Repeat it to me.”

“We were gonna wake up early and make breakfast for the boys and pack all their favorite things for lunch. Tteokboki, curry buns, and bungeoppang. We’ll drop them off at school, I’ll drop you off at the bakery then head to work. I’ll pick them up, we’ll go to the bakery to pick you up, then go home.”

“And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do, ok?”

“Ok.” You and Jay ended up laying down afterward but he seemed like he was too shaken up to be able to sleep and honestly, so were you.

“Let’s bake cupcakes.”

“Right now?” You nodded, the hint of a smile playing on the corners of your lips,

“Right now.” Baking cupcakes with Jay at a time in the morning when you should’ve been asleep gave you a sense of comfort you didn’t realize you needed and he seemed to feel the same way. In order to not wake up the boys, you needed to stay quiet, talking in low tones and hushed whispers but neither of you seemed to mind. As the cupcakes were cooling and you were stirring the frosting, a shiver ran down your spine. Something that Jay had taken note of. You felt his presence behind you, confirmed as his chest pressed against your back, arms wrapping around you as his hands rubbed up and down your arms.

“Should I turn up the heat, love?” you heard him ask. Love, he called you, love. It was nothing new to hear Jay call you that but in this moment, you came to a realization. In love was what the past few weeks felt like. Yet despite this, a thought lingered in the back of your mind. What happened when the warmth faded? What happened after two weeks and you and Ni-ki had to move back to your apartment? What happened when the cocoon of warmth you spent so allowing yourself to get enwrapped turned to ice? What happened when you had to return back to reality? You were brought out of your thoughts at the sound of Jay calling your name, asking for confirmation to turn up the heat. But instead,

“If you did then there’d be no reason to stay like this,” you replied teasingly with a smile on your face. The charm of the necklace he gave you shimmered under the kitchen lights as it rested around your neck. Jay wanted nothing more than to tilt your chin upwards and kiss you right then and there. Wanted to show you how much you meant to him. Wanted to love you in all the ways that words could never do it justice. He was so caught up in his thoughts, mesmerized by your smile, and entranced by this whole situation that he hadn’t realized what had just happened when something cool was felt at the tip of his nose, then, on his cheek and he heard a laugh from you.

“Did you just- don’t tell me there’s frosting on my face right now.”

You weren’t quite sure what possessed you to perform your following actions in the next moments. Maybe it was lack of sleep. Maybe it was how close Jay was to you that you couldn’t help but want to be closer to him. Maybe it was the way your mind grew hazy with only one thought and one alone on your mind.

You couldn’t help it when you let go of the spatula.

Couldn’t stop yourself when you got on your tiptoes.

Couldn’t hold back from wrapping your arms around his neck and your fingers playing with the edges of his hair.

“There’s no frosting on your face.” Eyes looking in his for any signs of hesitancy, all you saw was something you could almost label as love. But you didn’t dare.

“No? Then what’s on my face?”

“Well on your lips,” closing the distance between your lips and his so that it was mere centimeters, “are mine,” you whispered before your eyes fluttered shut and the distance closed.

❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul ) | next | series masterlist

unable to tag: @smileyjimvn | @colouryourfears

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aetherarf · 3 years

Note

Not the one who requested the scara x tall!fem reader but as a female who's taller than the average in her country i'm thanking you with all my 173 cm of height :") honestly it was soooo good! loved it so much! ><

If this isn't too much to ask, could you write something more with that prompt? Say something like Scara wants to show off how cool and beautiful HIS tall gf is during some sort of diplomatic event he had to attend because all the other harbingers were already doing other missions and some ppl there decide that it's a good idea to comment on the height difference which sort of hurts his s/o a bit :') thank youu

I'm glad you could enjoy it! Also, of course! This can, arguably, be a continuation of the other but I'm not linking it for... Tumblr-Is-Stupid reasons.

[[ Summary: Scaramouche doesn't like big frilly events... However, even if he's forced to go to one, he's going to give you an opportunity to show off... and maybe he's showing you off as well.

Word Count: 1'311 ]]

You looked in the mirror, twirling a little as you looked over the dress...

At first, you were... hesitant. It felt getting measured, and having to discuss specifically what you wanted, but looking at it now... Oh, it was wonderful.

Scaramouched walked up beside you, setting his hands on your waist, pressing a kiss to the back of your shoulder, "You look good," he praised, sweetly.

"Only because you knew that designer," you said, thinking aloud beyond all else.

"Well, it doesn't matter. Are you ready? The Tsaritsa is cruel to those who aren't overly-punctual."

Looking over your dress, ensuring there wasn't anything wrong with it, and examining your entire appearance in one last check...

"I'm ready."

Scaramouche stepped back, grabbing your hand, "Come, let's get going." He pulled you closer to him, an arm around you as he set his hand on your side--

Oh, you knew exactly what he was doing--he wasn't just going to a meeting, he was intending on showing you off. A warm feeling in your chest--He adored you so, he's willing to show off his love.

Before walking out the door, you bent down to give him a kiss, him trying to stand on his tip-toes to chase your lips... Only to huff, quietly pout, realizing that he couldn't exactly reach up and force you to kiss him.

He always got so huffy whenever he realized this.

...

As you walked in... you realized how mentally un-prepared you were. It was... massive. A grand, almost terrifying chandelier as you looked up at the ceiling, and it seemed that even your dress, at the time you had thought would might be a little too dramatic, eye-catching, it was actually one of the most mundane outfits in the room. From extremely rich merchants and industrymen to the other Harbingers themselves who seemed to adore drawing attention to themselves, with their clothes, their masks...

At least you didn't feel self conscious about being stared at anymore.

"Hey," Scaramouche said, garnering your attention, "I need to do something, I'll be back in a few minutes. Okay?"

"Oh, alright. I'll just... probably mind my own business."

"That's for the best. They're all monsters, here... Try not to get eaten up by them."

He sounded oddly serious as he walked away, you watching for a moment as he left, disappearing past the crowds of people.

Oh well. After looking around, feeling lost, you spotted a few chairs at the edge of the room, away from most people. It was probably for the best, reasonably easy for Scaramouche to spot you when he came back, and you wouldn't accidentally intrude on others... on whatever conversations, business or otherwise, they would be having.

You sat down, looking around... distantly, you could recognize many people of prestige, ones you've seen written about, or only in the distance as others listened to them speak, or nearly worshipped them as though they were divine.

Was Scaramouche posing a risk to himself, bringing you?

You suddenly felt self conscious once again, damningly so... And you shook your head, sighing softly.

"Well hello sunshine," you jerked your head up, looking at someone who was standing before you--A charming young man, with pretty blue eyes and messy, copper colored hair.

Childe, you believed this one was called.

"Oh, am I in the way of something," You asked, about to stand, but he immediately sat in a chair beside you.

"Of course not... I was just curious. You were sitting alone, and I wondered might be going on in that head of yours," He looked at you with adoration, and pure curiosity... you could only be flattered.

"Ah, I'm... just someone's plus-one," you said, "He's busy right now, so I just decided to wait for him."

Childe's eyes widened slightly, and his smile grew to a grin, "Oh, he left you, did he? How cruel. After all, you're like a beautiful white fawn wandering into the forest of grey wolves... How could he leave you like that?"

You laughed, unsure and nervous. Rejecting him flat out might not be the best idea, but...

"Ahem," You heard his voice, and Scaramouche walked over--not sitting beside you, but right on your lap, grabbing your jaw and jerking his head to kiss you--intensely, your face burning with the shamelessness of his action, and when he pulled away, you were gasping for breath, and he had your lipstick on his lips. He jerked to look at Childe, a smug smile on his face, "Oh, Childe, were you saying something to her?" He asked, and he... stared.

"Uhm, just chatting, I should probably go talk with Signora or something. See you later, Balladeer."

"Bye." He said, and then he looked up at you, "... He was flirting with you, wasn't he?"

You were still reeling, and you wouldn't lie, seeing Scaramouche with your lipstick on him was a prettier sight than you'd like to admit. "Y-yes, I was just trying to be nice."

"Being nice gets you eaten alive out here," he said, wiping the corner of his mouth, trying to wipe off his face, "Damnit."

"I, uhm..." you fumbled for a moment, and provided your lipstick, "I don't think it'll come off, but you might be able to just apply more and make it look good." You admitted, and he took it without question, applying it...

It, shockingly, managed to work on him. He handed it back, "Yours is smudged a little, fix it. We're going to start the dinner soon, I can bring you to the restroom so you can have a mirror to do it with."

"Right," you said, lightly tapping his lower back so he'd get off of your lap, "That'd be nice.

After a quick trip to the restroom, cleaning off the mess on your face and trying to calm down after such a shameless display, even if you had done nothing but sit there and mind your own business, and when you came out, he offered his arm for you to hold onto as he escorted you to the massive dining table, sitting down with the countless other Harbingers and big-name figures within Snezhnayah.

The Tsaritsa stood at the head of the table, and her voice--Gods, it was booming, and it sent a shiver down your spine. However, it quickly proved that this was something she had spoken about it constantly, over and over again, a sort of rite to promise that the words spoken here not be forgotten...

But focusing on it was hard when Scaramouche's hand rested on your leg, lightly pushing up the skirt of your dress to gently rub the skin, you lightly tapping his leg with your hand, warning him.

"Your skin is soft," He whispered, plainly, and his hand stilled, but it did not move away from your leg.

... Only for him to begin stroking your skin once again,

"Shouldn't you be paying attention?" You asked, voice low and quiet, terrified of a possible punishment...

But his smile, oh, that damned smile, you knew he was up to trouble...

"I'll behave," he said, softly, "But you owe me."

"I always owe you," you said, not trying to tease, but realizing how much he could toy with those words now that they were in the air between only the two of you.

"We'll talk when we get home." He declared.

He said this--And you knew, if he was any other man, he would end up wanting some... favor. A very particular one you could think of.

But Scaramouche?

He'd drag you to bed, and press kisses to your face until you were falling asleep, and if you even tried to leave just to go to the restroom, he'd whine, crying for you like a spoiled baby.

Maybe you did spoil him.

He was too sweet, in the quiet and safety of your home, not to spoil.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche x reader #tall fem reader #fluff #fluffy bark #// ig #bark writes #fallinfl0wers #request

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whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst · 3 years

Text

Texts from The Lost Tomb, part 3

I didn’t mean for this to stray into angst but like the lack of updates with Li Cu in LTR?? I had to do it to em.

Wushanju Crew Chat, 11:05pm

Li Cu: what’s up losers I’m outside

Li Cu: someone come on and open the damn door

Wang Meng: Language:(

Li Cu: fine, someone come on and open the damn door please

Snake Eyes Chat, 7:00am

Wu Xie: hey are you awake? Sorry I missed you coming in:) was finishing up some work. How was the end of your first semester? Did that geology paper go well? Did the food budget work out or do you need some extra money next semester?

Li Cu: yeah about your work

Li Cu: heard a little rumor

Li Cu: about you going through some stuff during ur recent trip

Li Cu: some stuff you maybe forgot to mention

Li Cu: and you told me we gotta check in with stuff, so this is me checking in, okay

Wu Xie: oh? What stuff?

Li Cu: idk just like

Li Cu: THE STUFF WITH YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND THE WAREHOUSE SHIT AND ERJING AND PEOPLE HURT YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A THUNDER CITY AND NOONE FUCKING CALLED ME ABT THOSE PARTS ONCE

Wu Xie: oh. That stuff.

Li Cu: yeah asshat I’m in the kitchen whenever you’re ready to explain your fucking bullshit. Also you’re out of milk wtf how am I supposed to make breakfast here

Main Chat, 11:14am

Wu Xie: okay so it’s possible I fucked up a little bit.

Wang Pangzi: THERES JUST SO MUCH YOU COULD BE REFERRING TO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START

Zhang Qiling: What’s wrong?

Honorary Wu Chat, 11:30am

Wang Pangzi: KID IM SO SORRY THAT PUNK IS A TRAINWRECK BUT YOU KNEW THAT

Wang Meng: Welcome home, Li Cu <3 not much has changed, ultimately.

Wang Pangzi: IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT HE WOULDNT TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT ONCE THE REST OF US FIGURED IT OUT

WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

Li Cu: it’s okay. not your fault, uncle. Doesn’t matter how I found out. Wait wait hold on what do you mean “the rest of us figured it out” who figured it out

Wang Pangzi: SAY HELLO LIU SANG

Liu Sang: …hello.

Wang Pangzi: SAY MORE THAN THAT.

Liu Sang: uh…so you’re Wu Xie’s protégé, huh?

Li Cu: oh well howdy there homewrecker

Liu Sang: Excuse me??

Zhang Qiling: I think someone on the roof is calling me and I should go find out.

Wang Meng: I would also very much like to be removed from this conversation.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHAHA KIDDO IVE MISSED YOU

Li Cu: all I’m saying is aren’t you the little creep who’s obsessed with Xiao Ge

Liu Sang: ???

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu is referring to a brief period of irrational thought on Wu Xie’s part, where he mistakenly believed you to be a threat to our relationship.

Liu Sang: what do you mean a threat??

Wang Pangzi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIANZHEN HAD “A BRIEF PERIOD OF IRRATIONAL THOUGHT”

YOUVE MET YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT

Wang Meng: can you please take me off this chat.

Liu Sang: Wait, so Wu Xie told you about me, but…reading between the lines, he didn’t mention the cancer or anything bad that happened? Oh yikes.

Li Cu: don’t change the subject “Liu Sang”

if that is your real name

Like yeah you’re right abt it but still

just saying

heard you got good ears but I’ve got snake powers

kinda

so like no more funny business okay you superhearing harlot

Wang Meng: LANGUAGE, LI CU. IN THIS HOUSE WE SHOW GOOD MANNERS.

Wang Pangzi: LMAO OH DO WE NOW

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu, this is all unnecessary and childish. Please apologize.

Li Cu: you say that now bruh but apparently you weren’t complaining when he was all “idol this” and “idol that”

oh and hey Wang Meng while we’re here can I show you my business class grade report later bc Wu Xie is all “what matters is that you learned and enjoyed the experience” blah blah all eat pray love you know how he gets and I want to actually discuss areas to improve so that when I take over this joint I do better than Wu Xie? Tho that shouldnt be hard lol

Wang Meng: hurtful but accurate. I’ll bring my best red pen:)

Liu Sang: oh my god. I’m too jetlagged to keep up with any of this.

Wang Pangzi: BEST. DAY. EVER. IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR HEI XIAZI.

Not A Homewrecker Chat, 11:52am

Liu Sang: Okay, we started off on the wrong foot.

Li Cu: I agree let’s start over

Start with how your little prank game almost got ppl killed

Liu Sang: And I seriously regret that. But we moved past that.

Wow, he seriously skipped over so much bullshit but didn’t skimp on mine, huh.

Li Cu: AHA so you ADMIT IT

Liu Sang: I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. That I’ve come to see Xiao Ge as a person and mentor, rather than an idol. I count Pangzi and Wu Xie as my close friends. I’m going to be staying here with them right now, I hope you can be okay with that.

Li Cu: see in my head you were going to be a lot less mature about it and I had a bunch of great follow-up insults planned

Liu Sang: I figured. I’d like us to be friends, though. Or at least not enemies.

Li Cu: okay but only bc you don’t know me yet so you won’t judge too much for this and I need to get this out to somebody I’ve been thinking about it for hours and my friends are still in finals and I’m stressing a little bit maybe

Liu Sang: ?

Li Cu: I yelled at dad

*Wu Xie sorry autocorrect

Liu Sang: …uh huh.

Li Cu: I yelled at him earlier. for keeping all that stuff from me. He started crying

Liu Sang: Wu Xie has been pretty emotional since we got back. Not necessarily your fault.

Li Cu: I made him cry right there at the kitchen sink and it felt like maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done

Snake venom and stabbings, no tears

Me saying I wouldn’t have gone to his funeral, all tears

Which I know was shitty to say but I was really mad

Liu Sang: If it’s any consolation, I think Wu Xie can understand the concept of being led by his emotions to make bad decisions…better than most people.

Li Cu: Xiao Ge came in then and looked weird

Like weirder than usual

Like he didn’t know which of us to be more mad at

Liu Sang: A common problem for the iron triangle, I understand.

Li Cu: I just ran out I didn’t have words right then and I feel stupid

but whenever they come back from their walk I’m gonna say sorry and stuff bc i could’ve come home to his funeral and I’m mad about it but also like. I could have come home to his funeral. I can get mean when I’m in a freakout mood. It’s not like I was scared or anything at all I don’t get scared really anymore ever but just like. Freaked out.

Liu Sang: He’s probably going to say sorry, too.

Li Cu: sorry I called you a homewrecker. Didn’t mean to slut-shame either

Liu Sang: I admit that after the initial shock, it was pretty funny. Super hearing harlot, it should be on my business card;)

Li Cu: this situation with Wu Xie is weird but kinda good ya know. And I have these freakouts sometimes that something maybe bad could happen to this situation. So consider this a shovel talk. But like, also not a shovel talk at the same time.

also I appreciate you saving his life and whatnot

Liu Sang: Noted. Now. Coffee?

Li Cu: sounds sick.

Be in the kitchen in 10. You can pick out what we watch for the household tv show tonight. no way is Wu Xie choosing some dry documentary about gravestone rubbings again. Pangzi just watches real housewives reruns and Xiao Ge won’t watch tv after he caught the last half hour of A Walk To Remember. Also i need my phone now to send some $ to Hei Xiazi since I owe him for…providing some intel

Liu Sang: Not even surprised.

#whomst #ultimate note #the lost tomb #wu xie #dmbj #pingxie

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shorkbrian · 4 years

Text

Grasp

Prelude - Okay okay okay I had this THOT last night and I couldn’t sleep and also I SWEAR I am not a shiggy Fricker

Prompt - I’ve seen ppl head cannon that Shiggy’s darling has like an immunity quirk or something and I wanted to have a go sksks

Pairing - Shigaraki Tomura X Reader

Warnings - lol NSFW, tw noncon, trembling, excited virgin shiggy. (also sidenote the dude did research on doin’ the dirty)

Music - https://youtu.be/Fl5xvarZdGw

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You meet him in the library.

He’s not paying attention, neither are you; you’re both reaching for the same book about Halo Reach and your hands clumsily knock into each other.

“Oh! Sorry, you can have it.” You smile at the young man, drawing your hand back. You aren’t really a competitive player - like to log on to just mess around and have fun. The young man probably could make better use of the book. Plus, you could just wait until he returns it - then you could check it out.

The man just stares at you (more specifically, your hand), mouth slightly gaped, as if you’d slapped him. Internally, you shrug before turning, intending to head to the science fiction section to see if you could find any books about space.

A hand clamps down on your shoulder, makes you jump before you look back. The young man isn’t looking at you, no, he’s looking at where his hand meets your body, eyes wide.

Is there something wrong? The man refuses to move, instead simply gripping your shoulder, rubbing his thumb against the skin exposed by your tank top. After a moment, you awkwardly shrug him off, giving him a tense smile.

“Do you need something?” It’s not accusatory, maybe he needs help checking out? But the man just stares at his hand, closes his fist, rubs his fingers together. You can’t quite place why, but it honestly makes you a bit uncomfortable.

“Okay, uh..... bye then.” You gave a little wave, shyly smiling. At your words, the man finally looks at your face, his red eyes wide. You expect him to say something, maybe explain his odd behavior or mimic your goodbye.

But he doesn’t

He just stares.

----

You suppose that meeting is the reason you’re here, hands tied to the headboard of a bed, room dark and musty. There’s a TV tucked in the corner, an Xbox and PS4 on the ground, game DVD’s stacked on each respective console. There’s a dresser shoved against the wall - plain and nondescript.

Save for the bed, TV, and dresser, the room is bare.

Too busy struggling to pick at the padded cuffs locking you to the headboard, you didn’t notice the door open and a man slip inside.

“You know who I am?”

The raspy voice made you jump, squeak in surprise. Breathless, you shook your head no, watched the blue-haired man from the library stand motionless at the door.

He laughed - more of a curt exhalation than a laugh, but you could tell he was amused, pleased. “Just call me Tomura then.”

----

Tomura was so excited. He couldn’t decide what he wanted to do first, looking at your helpless form. The glee that bubbled up inside him when he realized that you were all his, he could do whatever he wanted - it was euphoric.

Where to start?

He sat on the bed, ignored how you tried to shuffle away from him. You wouldn’t be able to get away away from him. He lifted his hand, touched your shoulder gently and watched as you flinched. It amazed him, the way your skin stayed whole, still silky and smooth underneath his destructive touch.

Tomura’s hand lifted, and then he hesitated. How was he decide what to do first? The man wanted everything.

As a test, he gently placed his hand, palm-down on your stomach. Your shirt disintegrated, fine dust getting blown away gently by the rhythmic whir of the ceiling fan. His fingers sank through the disintegrated shirt, touched your stomach. Your skin was unaffected.

You must have an immunity quirk, he mused.

Almost shaking with excitement, Tomura crawled over your body, straddling your abdomen so he could look at your face, hands touching and squishing the flesh there. He almost couldn’t believe this. Every single finger was making contact.

You felt so good.

With a sudden, forceful movement, he swooped down, mashing his cracked lips to yours, holding your face in place by gripping your jaw. You struggled, but he was stronger - kept you pinned.

Tomura stayed there for a while, his lips pressed against your own. He breathed through his nose, savored the feeling of your skin touching his.

He’d never let himself experience intimacy with another person, never let himself touch unless it was the intent to destroy.

Oh, he was going to destroy you, but not like that.

Devour would be a more accurate term.

Separating from the clumsy kiss, Tomura opened his eyes, face still inches away from yours. He just looked at you, drank in your features, breathing unevenly.

He wanted more.

Shimmying down, the young man hesitated when his hands skimmed against your bra. It’s not like he hadn’t seen a woman naked before; porn existed.

But he never actually thought he’d get the chance to touch one.

With barely a thought, your bra was disintegrated, Tomura tuning out your cry of distress.

Distantly, the man knew he was subtly shaking, his breath ragged. He was the picture of excitement and desperation, and he was glad you were the only one in the room to see him acting this way.

He gripped your breasts, one in each hand, massaged the mounds roughly. Tomura was pulling and pinching and rubbing the flesh, reveling in the feel of the soft, pliant flesh.

Gingerly, he lowered his head, laid it sideways against your chest, listened to your rapid heartbeat.

He could stay here forever.

But as all men, Tomura had needs.

His cock had been half hard from the moment he stepped in the room, anticipating what was to come. One of your thighs was positioned in between his legs, and each attempt you made to squirm away from his touch or buck him off had your leg pressing against his crotch.

It felt delicious, and Tomura wanted more.

Raising his head, He squeezed your breasts once more, before an undeniable urge struck him. And who was he to deny his instincts?

His mouth descended upon your left nipple, teeth grazing against the skin as he sucked feverishly. You tasted like salt, sweaty and heated, but Tomura could care less.

You were thrashing in your binds now, eyes squeezed shut, whimpering as he abused your flesh, occasionally lifting off one nipple to switch. He still had both hands gripping your breasts, mouth working one like a suckling babe while his hand kneaded the other. The sound was flithy, even to his own ears; the wet smack and squeak of his lips against your nipples.

He knew you could probably feel it when he began rocking his hips against your leg, clumsily humping you like a dog. Tomura couldn’t help it, beyond excited now and giving in to his most basic desires.

Tomura suckled at you for a long time, until your cries petered out and your thrashing slowed. He figured you had resigned yourself to your fate, calmed down. Or perhaps you’d quieted because you thought this was as far as he’d go? The thought was amusing to him.

His cock was throbbing, aching from how hard he was. Tomura felt like if he waited any longer, he’d die.

The man was reluctant to let go of your chest, but with a lewd pop, he let go. He sat up slightly, quickly shuffling out of his t-shirt, almost disintegrating his pants in his haste to be rid of them.

He watched you crack open your eyes, saw you whine as you caught sight of him undressing, realizing that the man was far from done. Tomura thought it was cute that you squeezed your eyes shut before he removed his boxers.

Tomura didn’t care that you didn’t want this. He wanted it, and that’s what mattered. The man had spent so much of his life depriving himself of what he wanted, he figured he deserved a little treat, especially one that was so compatible.

Fingers began working at your pants, peeling the fabric off your legs, undeterred by the way you kicked at the man. With those off and out of the way, he snatched at your panties, ripping them down to your thighs. But you squeezed your legs together, unwilling to part with the flimsy fabric, your last line of defense.

With a huff, Tomura let his pinky drop. He was too desperate to let your stubbornness get in the way of his goal.

Panties turned to dust, he pried open your legs, almost groaning when his hands dug into the plush flesh of your thighs. Getting to touch was heavenly, he didn’t know how he’d been able to go so long without feeling skin against his own.

He was panting now, not out of exertion, but eagerness. He lifted one of your thighs, hooked it over his elbow and lifted, giving him easier access to the soft, puffy pink gem nestled between your legs.

If he had more patience, more willpower, he’d bite and gnaw at your thighs, move up to lick and stroke your pussy until it was swollen and dripping. But right now, he just needed to be inside you.

Sticking two fingers inside his mouth, he coated them in saliva before gingerly prodding at your hole, pushing in both fingers. You cried out - not expecting the sudden stretch. Tomura grinned, the way your pussy clenched around his digits making him impossibly harder.

He wished, oh how he wished that he could just spear you on his cock right that second. But the man had seen enough porn, knew enough about the human body that doing so would be painful and unpleasant. He’d read that it was more pleasant when the woman was enjoying themself - plus, Tomura wanted to watch your pretty face twist in confusion as he pounded into you, try to convince yourself that he didn’t make you feel good.

Two fingers stretching you, Tomura quickly added a third, the gasp that you let out shooting straight down his spine and into his cock. He almost keeled over, burying his face into your hip and nipping at the flesh there as he groaned, fingers pumping out of your hole, pausing to scissor and stretch you, readying you for his cock.

Three fingers would have to be enough.

Tomura knew he wasn’t large, but he was decent for his size, cock proportionate to the rest of his body. The flushed head was leaking precum, and when Tomura withdrew his fingers from your cunt, he spread your juices over the rest of his shaft, mixing your wet with his precum.

He moaned at the feeling, hips unintentionally thrusting into his hand as he slicked himself up. He probably wasn’t going to last long the first time, but Tomura knew he was going to be able to go several, several rounds.

Thigh still hooked over his arm, he used his other hand to guide his cock to your pussy, hissing as he push the head up against your opening. You were sobbing now, begging him to stop, wait; for him to not do this, please.

If only you knew that your tears meant nothing. If anything, they only served to make him harder.

With a choked groan, Tomura eased his cock inside you. The rest of his body was shaking, vibrating with excitement and need. He was holding himself back, relishing the feeling of your walls fluttering around the stretch.

The article he had read said that it was best to start slow, let your partner adjust to the stretch before you picked up the pace.

So when he slid home, balls nestled against your ass, he paused.

He was panting, sweat beading upon his forehead. You were out of breath too, hands clutching at your bindings. Your lower half was resting on his lap, and for now he remained still, leaning forward to let his hand brush a few stray hairs out of your face.

You were so pretty.

Perhaps not the most beautiful woman in the world, but to him, you were perfect. He liked the imperfections, drank in the unconventional beauty of your features. One of these days, he wanted to film the two of you, just so he could go back and watch your face as you reacted to him, his mouth, his cock.

Tomura couldn’t wait anymore.

Without a word, he slowly slid out, then rocked back in. He made sure to keep his pace slow, even so as not to hurt you.

Well, he went slow for as long as he could.

On one thrust, he hit something inside of you that had you squeezing his cock in a vice grip, muscles tensing, mouth falling open. Tomura almost came right then and there, but by the grace of god (if such an entity existed) he held back.

With a manic grin on his face, Tomura increased his pace, keeping the angle so that his cock hammered into that spot. The hand not holding up your thigh came to rest on your pubic bone, thumb digging around the lips of your pussy until Tomura found what he was pretty sure was your clit.

Based on the way you writhed, he knew he had.

Rubbing rapidly, his cock squelching into your cunt, you gave a prolonged wail as you came, pussy clenching and milking Tomura so intensely that he had no choice but to follow seconds after. He hadn’t even thought about a condom, shooting his warm cum straight into your pussy, filling you to the brim.

He was speechless with pleasure.

Tomura was never, ever going to let you escape his grasp

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