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janumun · 3 years

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The Pirate's Symbol(s): NSFW Alphabet [IkeSen Motonari]

Game: Ikemen Sengoku Pairing: Motonari/Female Reader

Rated: NSFW/18+ Words: 2.5k

Warnings: stockings fetish, spoilers for Motonari’s ‘condition’, sexual intercourse, mentions of exhibitionism/semi-public sex, (non-sexual) bondage, innuendoes and dirty-talk, masturbation

Author’s Notes: Motonari’s entire self is a joy, his route gave me some much needed, invigorating enemies-to-lovers, and I officially love him! [Totally swiped my heart right up without warning!]

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Motonari is quick — you’d almost say adept — at sweeping off a cloth, or container, placed by your bedside. Although, your touch and whatever fire you generate in between the two of you does not bother him, he does prefer you both cleaner of the mess and fluids when holding you close in his arms, afterwards.

Wiping up the remnants of your passionate and, often vigorous, activities off of quivering thighs he presses apart, in gentle strokes of damp fibers. Movements of the cloth soft enough it doesn’t shock you into over-sensitivity but not soft enough you relax entirely beneath him, because that scarlet gaze is always fixated on you — your body language. And if you give away even an inch, he’s ready and up for round two (or four). [Bless yer stamina, matey!]

If not, he’s still up and happy to listen to his favorite flower-brained woman’s amusing, outrageous tales she narrates in animated conversation. While he whisks up a quick, invigorating meal for her at the kitchen counter, just as she rests her happy self at the table. Garnet gaze seemingly fixated upon the task at hand — spices being tossed, ladle being stirred, eggs whipped to perfection — but his answers are prompt and alert, although still carrying that insouciant edge. Indicating his attention; equal division in between feeding you and hearing you speak.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Motonari is fond of his mouth, and before you, he didn’t think of it as much of an achievement as he believes it now, when your jittery gaze seeks immediate relief (and lust) as soon as it lands upon that obvious smirk.

A single kiss and your thoughts are all but handed over to him on an elaborate platter. Your cheeks color dark and wide; restless eyes tracing across his mouth. Your own parting; pink tongue darting quick in a swipe across plush lips: all of you demanding more of him.

Yes, he is surprisingly (or not), in touch with a far more emotional side: Motonari adores your eyes, although you’re never hearing it from him. Your entire body speaks of honesty but the way he reads your thoughts so easy, in your gaze, there’s quite nothing as exhilarating or confounding as the love he captures in them. That quick, tight knot of your brow, your anger flaring in your eyes or the equally prompt melting, when he appeases you in gentle teases. He’s been so long used to not trusting that a person he sees this clearly through, and sees how she trusts; it’s not an entirely terrible thing to feel.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

As mentioned above, the man doesn’t particularly care to leave you a mess post-coitus unless you ask it of him; there is little he’s able to refuse you. So when it does come (…heh) to cumming outside of your pussy, your mouth is a pretty (very pretty too) good substitute for him to ejaculate, without having to think of leaving external stains on you. Your throat clamping, then swallowing, around his orgasm, so he feels that slick slide of saliva and semen around him, as you moan.

Yer pretty darn hot, m’lady.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There are times he descends — quick and furious — into an almost juvenile state of petty jealousy [he realizes the immaturity of it, he just cannot! help! it!] and ends up turning that lust on you, instead.

He’d never actually do it but visualizing — in almost exact, murderous details — how he’d like to drag you into an empty room whenever Kicho gets all up in your face, and fuck you so hard your throat tears through screams lough enough Kicho hears each and every single sound and moan.

Or, clasp your chin in his fingers, whenever Hideyoshi’s a little too close for comfort at an Oda banquet, and kiss you senseless and noisy [pirates crave a flashy exhibition!].

He despises making a show of you to anybody, so that idea only stays in thoughts but also it’s mind-boggling, since it does get him hard on the spot.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Before you, it was only ever through terrible necessity (extremely dire straits) that he — if ever and very sparing — sought casual sex. The occasions hadn’t been plenty and he’d be frighteningly specific about how he wanted to take a woman to bed.

Bathed, no make-up, no perfume, no scented products or jewelry — anything extra that he could accidentally touch and trigger a reaction. A clean, unscented futon he’d provide in a bare room. Any bonds or cloths he could get his hands on (buying his own and discarding immediately after), to tie their limbs, keep their movements limited; Motonari used.

Of course, there’d be the rare prostitute who’d drop immediately after visiting a client, or one who’d perceive his conditions extreme and over-the-top and think they could ‘change his mind’. The moment they’d try and cross the line, he’d fling them off, almost violently, heart racing, sweat marking each inch of exposed skin. Nauseous and barely tapped, before he’d stride out of the room.

He’s also witnessed open and perverse brothels — and corrupt seething dens — where men and women fuck, for all to see, in his line of work, so he’s no stranger to how sex works for others either.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’s learning to let go and touch (just you) without the added barrier of gloves and since you so seem fond of his hands on you, Motonari likes any positions that allow his hands to move your body upon his; he isn’t picky.

Palms curved upon your hips so that your ass slaps against his pelvis each time he pulls back, the movements of his cock into and out of your pussy — a place you are both connected and he likes that. Or even when he can spread your thighs wide, press them apart before hooking his hands over your abdomen and just focusing on moving.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s a pirate he’s a vortex of a man and slips all over the spectrum. Motonari’s goading is far softened with minimum barbs, when he’s in(side you) in bed with you. More velvet — than leathery — questions, soft smirk-y and probing,: “Ya like that, flower girl?” —as his mouth hovers just close to your ear, nose barely touching and tucking sweat soaked strands away from your temple. Definitely lands firm and midway between too serious and entirely silly. But he’s all focus on you, make no mistake.

He’s still got a filthy mouth on him, but dirty romantic liners are more his style, in bed (he wants you warmed as well as turned on!), in contrast to the complete indecent filth he threatens you with (a good time!) when the two of you are out and about.

“Pipe down, m’lady. The way yer moaning, they’re gonna think I’m fucking ya, right on deck.” Those eyes are burnished rubies; smile wide, crooked and unashamed, as he ducks close. “But maybe ya feel like putting on a show.”

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s clean down below (and silver-haired, yes) — he doesn’t go the ‘complete waxed up, no-hair in sight’ route, but rather prefers keeping his hair short-trimmed and well-groomed.

He’s also kept his pubic hair short and neat, for the rare occasions he does have sex, and an unkempt mass down there would leave him more likely and exposed to his partner’s fluids staying on him. He despises that.

Motonari doesn’t mind blood, dirt and grime on the field, nor the brine of the harsh sea sticking to his skin, but as soon as he’s done with — or in between — jobs, he takes the time to wash and clean himself up thoroughly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

[Also see G=Goofy] Motonari isn’t short with words of love. He isn’t reciting romantic poems but he is quick to let you know, in exact words, how much he loves you — and is loving being inside you — in the moment. Barriers definitely lower themselves — not all down, not completely back up — with this man, in bed.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

(As also mentioned in E=Experience) the man, previously, has sought intimacy only and only out of desperate necessity and when his hand is just not enough for him to relieve himself of his lust. Motonari, before you, jacked off, multiple times within a week, sometimes thrice (or more) in a single day. His desires, usually amped, following a particularly unsatisfying battle or raid.

After you, he still does take time off for some self-lovin’ (remember: stamina for daaays, and you’re mostly unable to match him so he makes do), just not as much as he used to, in the past.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

You and Motonari share a love for (clothing) imports from the seas beyond. He’s always up for sharing and discussing trade secrets, doling out clothing advice and helping you work out modern clothing from whatever fabrics are available to you.

Stockings might be one of his favorite products.

The fabric feeling absolutely exquisite against his palms when he rounds you close into his grasp, stood in between his spread thighs as he observes and hums beneath you, seated. A harmless joke you make, about a stocking fetish and the ensuing explanation soon after, has him grinning and dragging you down to test the material against his teeth.

“Yer sayin’ I got a thing for yer fancy underclothes? Heh, don’t think so. Seeing you in it just makes me wanna tear it all off, meu docinho de côco.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere you’re afforded privacy; although a little flirting with danger is good and being pinned in between the door and his body. Watching you try and smother your moans into your sleeves, skews that grin wider, that cock harder.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. He’s got a dirty mind, it’ll do the rest of the work when its got its catalyst: you.

Nothing gets you results faster than being honest with Motonari, or expressing your affections (even chaste) for him.

Tell him he looked especially handsome, earlier on a job out: with his hair slicked back and how hard it was for you to have held back from kissing him, on the spot. That you love him—

He’s on you so fast.

“That brain’s just gotta keep sprouting its flowers, huh.” He murmurs, tugging at your chin to swipe his tongue into you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Despite his treatment of you very early on in his route (the collar, the slavery deal), Motonari’s not into putting a collar on a person, romantic or otherwise. Collaring and hearing you call him your Master wouldn’t do much for him, playful or not.

He’s had to live a great chunk of his life as the Beggar Prince; experienced the devastating dregs of human society, including and not limited to being treated as one inferior, and having to watch people around at the very mercy of corrupt lords.

In retrospect, it isn’t something he might take pleasure in, in the bedroom.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving or receiving, both take some getting used to within the bedroom. He finds the taste of you pleasant, when he withdraws wet digits from inside you and takes a careful swipe of the clear fluid across his skin. And has expressed interest in, and gone down on you several times.

Receiving gets a bit more gentle coax-y and requires reassurances, with Motonari. He doesn’t particularly like seeing his release all over you. Having to work through those barriers of his mind, but once he allows you, he does enjoy the slow kisses, and the soft slide of your mouth against him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His default setting is rough and furious. The two of you are usually frustrated passion by the time you actually get to his bedroom (he likes to prod and poke much too often in public, get you riled) so there’s only one way to go and it’s up. He’s spreading your thighs apart with none too gentle hands as he pushes through and into you, your own hold on him, white knuckled and almost delirious with the way his hips rock into you and his cockhead scraps across your front wall with his onslaught.

At times, however, especially after a high-risk mission; when he’s been close enough to stare Death in the face and survive, he likes to take his time being inside you, just being able to feel you. Once, twice, several times, he’s keeping you beneath, or mounted on top of him, coaxing your hips and your moans.

“Don’t look at me like that, flower girl. I’m alive, ain’t I? Com’ere. I’ll take those tears of yers.”

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Definitely! Any time he can have you, or get you close enough in private, you’re going to be fucking each other. He loves those little breathy, moan-laughters you make in half-panic/all arousal, each time he drives up to grind your hips close together, stuffed into a hallway closet.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Semi-public quickies are a thing and the closest to risky as he gets. As mentioned previously, he’s demanding enough over you, he doesn’t like men Kicho touching you, let alone hearing you when you sound like that.

Other kinks, most kinks, he’s down to try with his favorite dirty, flower-brained woman. He does however, draw the line at any kinks that might involve him using harsh, ugly words to degrade you or your body and/or being soiled.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

All I gotta say is: Pirate’s got stamina enough to power his ships through horn alone, over an entire week!

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys translate to external objects. Which are always subject to germs, and need to be (excessively) cleaned by his standards, to keep them useful and usable. That’s far much more work than he’s usually willing to commit himself to.

And he has no need of them. Not when you respond plenty to his touch alone.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A lot! Motonari’s brand of filthy talk is polished to leave you damp in between the legs. He’s pulling the nastiest most wonderful innuendoes out of the most mundane of tasks.

“Ya like that old weapon?” He might ask of you, as you admire the carvings upon the handle of one of his clan’s katana. “Didn’t know ya liked the feel of handlin’ a sword between yer hands that much, m’lady.”

Leaving your mind reeling and cheeks flushing before withdrawing with a, “What’re ya cooking in that flower brain of yers? Heh... you’ve got a dirty mind.”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Heavy, sensual pants against your ears. His groans and grunts enough to fan the fires of your own arousal, to have you ready to come, from just the sounds that can leave his throat. Motonari doesn’t care to be heard outside your boundaries, but he also doesn’t care to withhold his own sounds of pleasure from you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He almost swears (but will never tell you, in very direct words): the space in between your bare breasts smells almost sweet like flowers. He likes finding his way up and nosing in between your breasts — just skin-to-skin contact at a place he finds you’re at your most fragrant. Suckling and tugging at a nipple draws those moans and your scent more intense, so he nips and teeths around the place often.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

That beautiful cock — with the evidence of just enough silver at the base — is long enough it fits and curves snug into you, without entering into any discomforting places, deep. But he is thick enough, it takes you time (and many times) to not just hold your breath and tighten up around him on reflex, upon entry.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

(Read: S)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You’re almost always the one falling asleep first. Pirates are used to night raids and this one’s no different. He does prefer watching you sleep, late into the night, once you fall exhausted into slumber.

End Notes: Thank you for reading!

♧° Link to Master List °♡

#ikesen motonari #ikemen sengoku motonari #ikesen mouri motonari #ikesen motonari smut #ikesen smut #ikemen sengoku smut #ikesen fanfic #ikemen sengoku fanfiction #ikesen motonari x reader #ns//fw text #a pickle writes

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soulmate-game · 3 years

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“Are you paw-sitive this is alright?” Selina half-purred half-asked. The slender cat thief was dressed casually— for her, anyway— in a floor length amethyst purple gown that swept just barely above the floor, accentuating her curves and coming down in a deep V neck that was just barely within the constraints of being acceptable for public appearances. Her companion, almost half a foot shorter even in her short heels, was a stark contrast. It was as if all the two women had in common was their hair color, a rich deep black that shimmered blue in the right lighting.

Marinette, with her hair done up in two buns and wearing a sensible pink-and-white cheongsam top with apple blossom embroidery paired with an ankle-length denim skirt that had a knee-high slit in the front, nodded even as she eyed her friend’s choice of outfit with a small frown.

“Of course. Bruce is in the media’s eye all the time, and he knows I don’t have a care for the spotlight. But you do,” Marinette stopped talking for a second, snapping her fingers and reaching into her purse. She pulled out a gorgeous inch-thick collar necklace that was made entirely of thick panels of flawless silver and high-quality diamond. At the very center of the collar necklace, where it would hang right in the center of Selina’s collarbone, was a diamond-and-obsidian cat face. “I knew I was forgetting something! Bourgeois owed me a favor for doing the outfit for her last magazine cover pro bono, so I asked for this as payment. It’s exactly what your outfit is missing.”

Just because Marinette didn’t like revealing clothing didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate someone else wearing one well, after all. And Selina wore her dress perfectly.

Selina quirked an eyebrow, eyeing the necklace with her expert gaze. Gently, she trailed her fingertips over the tops of the diamonds in the thick bands of the collar as a small smile flicked over her lips. She raised her eyes up to Marinette’s, light green eyes sparkling with mischief and knowing.

“You got this as a bribe for me, didn’t you kitten?”

Marinette smiled unashamedly. “I know you’re a proud lesbian, but would you mind playing the role of Bruce’s girlfriend, just for the media? And only while you’re single, of course. If you ever want out, you only have to say the word. Bruce already agreed, but he also doesn’t mind continuing to play the careless bachelor if you aren’t willing.”

Selina scoffed, rolling her eyes and grabbing the necklace. Effortlessly, she swung it around her neck and clasped it in place. “Please, darling. You and I both know it drives you up a wall when Brucie is hounded by gold diggers every time he steps foot out of that mansion of his. I’ll play the camera-girlfriend, but only for a maximum of a year. And you two can only call on me one a week at most, a girl’s gotta have some time to herself.”

Marinette nodded eagerly. “That’s fine! We probably won’t even call on you that much, Bruce is planning to play the ‘we want to keep our relationship pretty low-key’ card for now. Just an appearance once a month or two ought to satisfy those vampiric paparazzi.”

Selina just smiled. She had practically adopted Marinette years previous, during a trip to Paris where she had found out she apparently had a male doppelgänger. Now the two were sisters in all but official (Not-forged) legal documents. And because of that, Bruce had somehow become her brother.

Which Bruce later found out, meant that Selina would relentlessly tease him every time she needed to appear as his “girlfriend.”

Relentlessly.

But Marinette and Bruce had a Plan. She wasn’t quite ready to make a public appearance as his real girlfriend, mostly because of loose ends that still had to be tied back in France. She was making so many trips back and forth between the two countries that they couldn’t see each other in person much to begin with, so they also didn’t want their few in-person meetings tainted by greedy D-rate journalists.

But yes, they had a Plan. One year was the perfect time frame for the last stretch of said plan. Marinette would tie up the last few things she had to do in Paris, start an official branch of her fashion company in Gotham, and they would stage an entire break-up with Selina, a three-month “break” to “recover” and then a suitably dramatic, romantic “meet-cute” between the two of them to start what the media would see as a love-at-first-sight, fairytale relationship.

Nobody needed to know about Marinette and Bruce’s five-year pining session, or their one-year fumble through figuring out how to date one another before actually getting it right, or the most recent three-years of dealing with the fact that they were both highly experienced hero/vigilantes, the leaders of their own hero teams, and highly accomplished business people.

It was a hard relationship utterly riddled with drama, but they had finally reached the stable point where they were ready to commit. Sort of. They just needed Selina to fake-date Bruce in the public eye for a couple months, and then everything would be fine.

—*—*—*—*—*

One year and three months later.

Marinette shifted her purse on her shoulder. This would be her first time in over five years actually setting foot inside the Wayne Manor. She was excited to see Alfred again, and to hash out the last details for her and Bruce’s public “meet-cute.” But Alfred didn’t open the door this time, a short green-eyed boy with an all-too-familiar frown on his face did.

And once again, Marinette knew that Selina was not the mother. Her pseudo-sister was, as she had said so long ago, a very proud lesbian. But Marinette did know of a past fling of Bruce’s who did possess the proper genes to help create a child of this age.

Marinette smiled, pushing her inner rage at the thought of Talia Al Ghul out of her mind. She was still pissed beyond all rational thought when she heard about what Talia had done to Bruce. But this child was not at fault for any of it, only an innocent by-product.

“Hello. My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Would you mind telling Alfred I’m here?”

“Tt. Why should I?” The apparently bratty boy asked, crossing his arms and glaring straight at her. Marinette felt her eye twitch.

“I am a close friend of Bruce— Would I be correct in assuming he’s your biological father?” Immediately upon her question, the boy’s eyes widened ever so slightly in shock before his glare intensified. Marinette chuckled. “He didn’t tell me that he adopted any new children, and he always tells me when he adopts. Which means he didn’t have to adopt you, suggesting you are related to him directly. You can’t be a cousin or nephew, he has no living blood family. And all his pseudo-siblings are alive and fine, so you weren’t left to his care in anybody’s will,” she deduced out loud for him. “Plus, the green eyes and tan skin— I know of exactly one of Bruce’s past… suitors… who happens to fit the timeframe and features necessary.”

The boy raised an eyebrow. “Most assume that I am that harlot Selina Kyle’s spawn,” he snapped, but it lacked the same heat this time around. He was now analyzing her face closely, and Marinette noticed. She was careful to keep her eagerness toned down. She really just wanted to see Bruce and be able to hug and cuddle him for the first time in almost a year, and this child was her only obstacle at the moment. A very stubborn one.

Marinette sighed. “Selina is like a sibling to me, don’t call her a harlot. If Selina was ever pregnant, I would have known. Hell, Selina would have given me her baby to raise because she doesn’t have any interest in being a mother. Now, the polite thing to do when someone introduces themselves is so introduce yourself back. Not interrogate or intimidate them.”

The boy huffed, straightening his emerald turtleneck and rolling his shoulders back. “I am Damian Wayne,” he replied imperiously. “And Father has never mentioned a friend by the name Marinette. Which leads me to believe you are yet another no good hopeful suitor, and Father is still recovering after he and Kyle finally split up for good.”

Marinette froze, and slowly her eyes narrowed. “He never mentioned my name? Ever?”

“Tt. I already said no.”

Finally, the shape of Alfred Pennyworth came into view behind Damian. He had obviously heard the last bit of the conversation, because he just sighed and shared a long suffering look with Marinette. It was that look that made Marinette’s eye twitch a second time.

“Alfred,” she said slowly. “Has he mentioned me at all to any of his kids?”

“He has not,” Alfred replied. “And furthermore, Miss Selina would not stop giving him a hard time whenever he had to call her out for an appearance. It seems all of the children mistook their relationship for actually being of a romantic nature.”

Damian spun to the butler, eyes wide and swimming with a multitude of emotions. “What do you mean, ‘actually’, Alfred?”

“He means,” Marinette began before Alfred had the chance. Her eyes were narrowed, matching storms of dark, furious blue. “That Selina was only pretending to be Bruce’s girlfriend so that the press and gold-diggers would leave him alone. And apparently I need to beat some sense into my stupid, idiotic boyfriend, who I should have known would do something like this,” she looked up at Alfred, jaw clenching. “That man would never be able to pass for a functioning human without either you or me keeping his head screwed on. Where is he?”

“Not at the manor currently, Mademoiselle Marinette.”

“Alfred.”

The butler gave Marinette a rather mischievous little grin. “Master Bruce has forbade me from telling you where he is currently, he wanted you to stay at the manor and sleep the jet lag off until he got back. But I can tell you that he is not currently on Earth or on a mission.”

“Alfred!” Damian hissed, shocked that the man would say something so revealing. Alfred was the perfect secret keeper, why would he tell someone Bruce had never mentioned something so telling?”

“Oh, calm yourself Master Damian,” Alfred soothed. “Marinette has known about Master Bruce’s nighttime activities since before you were born. If anything, I believe he rightfully deserves the wake up call he is about to receive.”

Marinette nodded, eyes still stormy and determined. “Alright, so he’s at the Watchtower. The Zeta tunes are still in the Batcave, right?” When Alfred nodded, Marinette wasted no time. She easily slid around Damian and stormed into the manor, finding her way to the Batcave on pure muscle memory and rage.

“Wait, Alfred! I demand an explanation!” Damian’s loud voice slowly grew quieter as Marinette stormed down into the cave, ignoring how Alfred began to calmly explain the situation to the boy. She just slid right in to the Zeta tube, and commanded the computer to send her to the Watchtower.

“P-001, codename LADYBUG, recognized.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Batman pinched his nose from where he stood at the head of the meeting room in the watchtower. The briefing was supposed to start over an hour ago, but Hal Jordan had been twenty minutes late. No surprise there. But still, SuperMan had insisted that they wait until everyone arrived. And really, normally Batman would too. Except that his long time girlfriend was going to be landing in Gotham any minute now, and he would rather be back at the manor to greet her.

And the asinine argument that had been going on for the past forty minutes was finally going to end, even if Bruce had to hogtie every last one of his insufferable coworkers himself and force them through the rest of the meeting strapped to their chairs.

“Okay, can we PLEASE begin the meeting now, or so help me I will break out my kryptonite restraints,” he threatened darkly. He might have only mentioned Kryptonite, but everyone knew that that threat was actually aimed at all of them. Batman knew every last one of their weaknesses and was not above being petty when they strained his last nerve.

Quickly getting the hint, the entire room rushed to fill their seats and at least fake at paying attention. But of course, nothing goes quite right in the life of Bruce Wayne. Right as he turned on the slideshow he had prepared and began the meeting, the sound of an enraged woman’s voice echoed down the hallway in a deafening roar.

“BRUCE THOMAS WAYNE, YOU ARE IN SOOOO MUCH TROUBLE!”

Batman felt as if someone had just shoved him into a cryogenic freezer, a harsh shiver of dread running down his spine. There was exactly one person who could terrify him with a single word, and it just so happened to be the woman he was hiding a wedding ring from.

For the past eight years, but that’s neither here nor there.

“Oh shit,” Bruce breathed, but found he was unable to move from his spot. Yes, he wanted to see Marinette so badly that it hurt. But he also would like to stay alive.

SuperMan leaned forward, not really concerned since Batman would have reacted much differently had the voice been coming from a real threat. Instead, the man leveled his old friend with a very teasing smirk.

“Why is your heart suddenly racing?”

Bruce could only glare daggers at Clark before the door to the meeting room swung open, a tiny French woman standing there in a long, formal white-and-pink knee-length gown with a cheongsam neckline and one of her leaf-green heels held in each hand threateningly.

“You absolute idiot! When I said I wanted to keep our relationship out of the public eye, I didn’t mean to keep me a secret from EVERYBODY!”

“But darling—“ Bruce cut himself off as he was forced to dodge one deadly-accurate piece of flying footwear. “You don’t understand. The boys cannot keep a secret to save their life.”

“They have secret identities, don’t they?” She slipped her other shoe back on. She had known that her shoe never had a chance of hitting, and with Bruce in full Batman gear, even if it had hit him the high heel would have felt like she had only thrown a pillow. Had it been otherwise, she wouldn’t have even joked about throwing her shoes at him. But as it stood, she knew none of the normal things she had on her would be able to so much as make Bruce say “ow.”

Marinette placed both of her fists on her hips, marching up to Batman and pulling him down the full foot it took for him to be able to look her in the eye. His resulting gulp was clearly audible, and visible, to everyone else in the room. “You absolute, emotionally dense moron,” her voice had dropped from a yell to a mildly fond, but still very annoyed, grumble. “Your kids are mostly adults now, you know. And you never told me about Damian either. Did you honestly think I’d be mad?” Bruce looked away from her, which was honestly all the answer she needed. Marinette sighed, letting him go and softening her voice. “You need to trust your kids more, Bruce. I never wanted you to keep me a secret from your family, or even your close friends. Just the annoying ass paparazzi. And trust me a little bit more, yeah? I know it isn’t exactly your strong suit, but I’ve known you long enough that you should know I’m not gonna run for the hills just because you have a biological kid that wasn’t with me.” Marinette risked giving him a slightly vulnerable, lopsided smile. And Bruce immediately deciphered what it meant. His shoulders slumped.

The cost of using the Ladybug Miraculous for so long was that Marinette had to give up her fertility. She could never have children of her own, and Bruce had felt guilty that he had had a biological child, even though he hadn’t exactly consented to it, without her. But now he could see where he went wrong.

Marinette was just happy to have another piece of him to take care of. She never would have resented him for what had happened with Talia. And, seeing all of those facts written on her face now, he felt more than a little blind.

“... sorry.”

Marinette just huffed out a short, soft laugh before grabbing Bruce by the bicep. She turned to look at the other heroes still in the room, half of them uncomfortable with seeing such an emotional display while the others looked like they were incredibly invested in a good soap opera. She shot them a grin.

“I’m stealing him for the next few days, okay? Don’t worry, I’m sure you can make do with making Diana read the slideshow. I know from experience that it has everything you guys need to know and more. Don’t call us, I’ll field all your contact to Agent A!!” With that, she dragged Bruce by the arm out of the room.

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly resisting. Even if the reunion was far from ideal, just having this little bit of contact was extremely relaxing for the vigilante. When they reached the Zeta Tubes, he stopped Marinette and pulled her in for a kiss.

When they inevitably pulled away for breath, he smiled at her. “As soon as we get back, I’ll call everyone in and explain the situation,” he promised. “And then, we can spend the rest of the night doing whatever you want.”

Marinette smiled back, shoving him into the Zeta Tube. “Then get ready, because I wanna sleep off this damn jet lag and I plan on cuddling you like a koala the whole time. No escape.”

“B-001, Codename BATMAN. Recognized.”

“Can’t wait,” he replied right before he was whisked off. The sound of the love of his life laughing followed him through until he reached the other end of the teleportation.

—*—*—*—*—*

@maribat-writing-and-prompts

#maribat #ml x dc #mlb x dc #brucinette

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anthropwashere · 3 years

Note

thank u for the tags yelling at us youths to sit up straight. im only 23 but disabled and my back is about the only part of me that ISNT fucked up yet, so i will attempt to not destroy my spinal cord in your honor (•̀ᴗ•́)و

Gonna take this as an opportunity to go off on a tangent and emphasize how out of nowhere your health can 180 in ways that will have a lasting impact for the rest of your life, and that this can happen at any moment no matter how careful or healthy you try to be

-I grew up poor enough to not have regular access to medical/dental/etc. for years at a time, avoided serious issues by sheer fucking luck and an extended family that did not sign up to raise another kid but thank christ they stepped up for me.

-managed to stay healthy enough to join the Air Force at 18. this was good news because the alternative was being homeless (again), which gosh got old fast. free medical? fuck yeah, uncle sam! my teeth are a mess and it sure would be nice to have glasses again!

-knees started acting up in BMT. slowly got worse as the years passed. haven't needed surgery yet but they make some wild gristly sounds when I go up stairs these days and anything more than a casual running regimen is immediately vetoed

-deployed when I was 22. wearing body armor was Not Great for my upper back. lost ability to pop anything in my spine from the shoulder blades up, gained some truly unsexy shooting pains in exchange

-several years of severe headaches i ignored because lmao childhood trauma and also not wanting to be seen as weak due to being just about the only enlisted woman in almost every unit/office i worked in.

-marriage imploded at 26 which gosh, did NOT do good things for the mild anxiety/depression i'd been staunchly ignoring for like a decade at that point. i used to think commercials for anti-depressants were like, rude satire. nope. that really is just how shitty a brain can get!

-apropos of FUCKALL I woke up one morning just before I turned 27 with a headache that has varied in intensity and location but has never gone away. latest diagnosis is a type of headache that's so persistent and resistant to treatment that there are known cases of people having this type for 30+ years. i could be one of those unlucky fucks! or it could go away tomorrow! we just don't know!

-spent 2018-2021 making EXTENSIVE USE of that free medical trying to figure out what the hell was going on or to at least find literally anything that will help reduce/control it. I have at this moment within arm's reach something like $2k worth of medical devices I got for free to help with the migraines.

-they don't.

-one time i tried to do a tally of how much I would have had to be pay out of pocket for all the primary care visits, the specialty care visits, the physical therapy, the stupid fucking useless acupuncture, the Botox, the ~16 different medications, the ER visits from bad reactions to medications, etc. etc. etc. if i hadn't been in the AF and I decided to go lay down in a dark room with an ice pack and not think about it instead.

-i did spend thousands out of pocket on a chiropractor, massages, and gas to keep driving to all those fucking appointments.

-during all this the constant migraines wreaked havoc on my neck, jaw, and shoulders, which in turn contributed to a vicious cycle of pain where doing anything beyond boiling myself in a dark shower 1-2 times a day did not only seem more trouble than it was worth, but WAS more trouble than it was worth.

-i was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia at 28. the rheumatology clinic gave me a pamphlet that was less informative than a google search and a politely phrased 'you're young and you still have all your limbs, why are you complaining? go away.'

-fibromyalgia diagnosis was given despite more evidence pointing to Sjogren's syndrome, which is an actual autoimmune disorder that sure, won't kill me, but it WOULD explain why my teeth have only gotten worse despite extremely thorough annual workups. it can cause all sorts of fun organ dysfunctions too. i could also go blind! either way neither is curable and whatever i've got showed up a decade earlier than is typically expected for my demographic!

-it wasn't any of the squillion medical experts i saw but literally just some other woman in my squadron who suggested i put my name on the Airborne Hazards and Open Burn Pit Registry, because she developed all sorts of autoimmune fuckery after her deployment. all of That is still being researched and debated and such, and has been for decades. maybe breathing too much sand and burning garbage gave me brain damage! maybe not!

-also during all this i lost half my hair due to damage caused by using Devacurl products. if you use that brand there are currently multiple lawsuits going on! you or your loved ones may be entitled to compensation, etc.

-anyway i turned 30 this year and a month later the Air Force kicked me out with 90% disability pay, a couple anti-depressant/anxiety prescriptions, and 0 fanfare.

-things could have gone so much worse for me and STILL COULD AT ANY MOMENT. I never considered myself invincible when I was younger but my good fucking gracious chronic pain isn't something i'd wish on anybody. i am terrified of the state my body might be in when i'm 40, never mind when i'm actually old. i am terrified of tomorrow. this is probably the severe anxiety talking.

-at least i've managed to avoid the heart disease rampant in my family? so far????

IN CONCLUSION, TO THE YOUTHS:

sit up straight, do some stretches, go for walkies, eat a vegetable, turn the music down a little, clean linens are the best gift you can give yourself, however much water you typically drink in a day it isn't enough, therapy does actually help, it's okay to be mad sometimes but i'm begging you to find at least one thing to laugh about every day, please take care of yourselves, and most importantly ENJOY your bodies while the going's good. this meat is expiring fast and there are no refunds.

#chronic pain #chronic salt #migraine hell

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 3 years

Text

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is.

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now.

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal.

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home.

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown -

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season...

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own).

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato.

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem.

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey.

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it.

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face?

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go.

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh.

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things.

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness.

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1.

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision.

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified.

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here.

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

#Final Space #BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Final Space #Nesha Watches #Quinn Ergon #Quinn Ergon commentary #Final Space season 3 #Final Space spoilers #long post

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alice-in-wonderart · 4 years

Note

Can I request a pregnancy hcs for Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, Wei WuXian, Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen? Thank you!!!

Hello, hello, dear. These turned out a tad shorter, since it's 5 characters, (and pregnancy is Xtreme to write) but regardless - I hope you enjoy ❤️ One fluffy request coming right up~

Lan Wangji

"I'm pregnant" "Mn"

It's not like he isn't happy, he just needs some time to realise what you've just told him. And boy oh boy, does he realise it.

*cue smol content smile*

Lan Wangji has already taken care of a child, he raised Lan Yuan. But a baby? That would be a novelty to him for sure. But a novelty he's more than ready for. Even if he doesn't think so.

Despite that, he'd take great measures to make sure he'll be the best father possible.

His excitement would be hidden, but fully noticeable to you. His eyes would sparkle more, he'd generally appear more relaxed, he'd spend more time with you. (as much as possible, that is) The only other person who'd see the excitement in his icy stare would be Lan Xichen, who'd be the second to learn of the pregnancy, right after LWJ.

Now, he isn't the #DreamHusband™️ without a reason. He'd be fully prepared with anything you might need during those 9 months. He'd talk to his brother, albeit reluctantly, for any advice on how to deal with any side effects of the pregnancy, so he could make sure you are heathy and happy.

He'd silently watch over you, always making sure you are not in harm's way. His cold glares would double towards anybody who'd dare approach you about anything, outside of Lan Xichen, Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui.

He wouldn't necessarily stop you from going anywhere, although he'd want to but rather - he'd just tag along. You want to go down town? He'd escort you. Want to cook something? He'll help. Oh look, a puppy! Protective husband mode - on.

Sometimes, before the two of you go to sleep, he'd lay a strong hand over your stomach, gently rubbing your skin, basking in the joy, that you are carrying his child - the product of your love. And should the baby kick? A surprised, almost mute yelp would escape his thin lips, before he'd move to leave a gentle kiss on your stomach.

He never thought, never even imagined, that one day he'd have a family of his own, with a wonderful wife right next to him, and a child to call him papa. He didn't even so much as thought he could have one of those "happy endings". It seemed such distant a future, almost as if it was make-belief. Yet during those rare moments in the dead of night, he'd think, that perhaps a happy ending is possible. Perhaps he'd get to experience that normal, domestic lifestyle loving families have. And then sleep would come a little easier, knowing you'll stay by his side until the very end.

Lan Xichen

"Oh?"

What wonderful news! He'd be the most calm and collected out of everybody. He'd hug you, pouring all of his love into the hug, promising to be by your side until the very end, that he'll try his best to be a good father, to take care of you and your child and to love you unconditionally. (which he already does)

The two of you decided not to tell everybody just yet. It would be while before it became noticeable, so you decided to keep it to yourself to avoid unnecessary attention and possible bad omens or whatever. The only person who'd know would be Lan Wangji.

At first glance, nothing much would change. He'd still have responsibilities to get to, he'd still be your loving, kind, compassionate husband.

But every time he is left alone, his mind would immediately travel to you. In fact, such occurrences would begin happening while he's presumably busy too. Zoning out and day dreaming while working were pretty uncommon for Lan Xichen, yet the constant thought of you and your well-being would cloud his vision.

That, in turn, would be a dead giveaway that something was happening in his more personal life. The first to address this would be none other than Wei Wuxian, who'd turn to LWJ. Slowly but surely, more people would begin noticing the slight, yet unusual changes in Lan Xichen. He'd leave a little earlier, reply a little later and he could be spotted with you every second away from work.

When you decided to finally announce the pregnancy, a collective "I knew it" would be all but the response you'd expect.

Behind closed doors, he'd be so sweet and affectionate with you. And don't get me started on how much he'd play music to the baby you. He'd want your child to grow up with music, which included singing and playing different instruments around you before it was even born. And you wouldn't really mind - after all, Lan Xichen's music rivalled the gods' voices, or so it was said.

In fact, with time you'd realise, that your child would indeed react to his music. If the baby was exceptionally wild, kicking and moving around, Lan Xichen's calm melodies would put it at rest. (had this happen to a friend, it was crazy) Even his voice would act as a natural lullaby to the baby.

And you already knew, that the child would grow up to fall in love with music, just like his father.

Wei Wuxian

"Wait what? Really???"

*Happy pterodactyl noises*

The happiness. The joy. The love. The pride. Wei Wuxian would be beyond ecstatic! He'd be on cloud nine the moment your announcement hit his ears. He'd have the most OVER-THE-TOP MELODRAMATIC reaction to your pregnancy imaginable.

Imagine a tsunami. Now replace the water with joy. This is how EXTREME his happiNESS IS.

But then, he'd sit down and talk to you about it properly, about how this baby would change your life together, what you'd need to do, how you'd do it. Together you'd figure out your future, as much as possible that is.

He'd make sure both you and the baby would be well taken care of, well-fed, living a nice, domestic life. He knew poverty, famine and sickness. They were his old friends. He knew what is was like growing up without much on your plate. He knew of every struggle imaginable, which came with being less fortunate, so he'd be ready to do absolutely everything to provide for you.

Once he settled down, believing he's planned ahead well, the realization would finally kick in - Wei Ying, The Yiling Patriarch, Founder of Demonic Cultivation and the pinnacle of darkness and despair, was about to be a father. And with that came in the insecurities. He'd constantly worry whether he'd be a good father, whether he'd set a good example, whether his reputation would ruin his child's life. He knew how judgemental society is, how quick it is to draw conclusions and ostracise those, who stood out. In those moments you'd have to remind him of how far he's come and how much farther you'll go together - as a family.

And a family he's wanted all of his life.

He's had some practice when it comes to kids. After all, for a brief moment he'd taken care of little A-Yuan. But then again, he was already old enough to speak, talk and think completely on his own. Wei Wuxian had never had the chance to actually take care of a baby, a newborn. That thought both terrified and thrilled him.

He'd be quick to announce of the pregnancy to all of his closest friends, but try to avoid spreading the news. Even though he was no longer considered the villain™️, you can never know who's scheming from within the shadows. With that in mind, the Twin Jades, Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, Wen Ning and the Juniors would be the ones he'd excitedly inform. Soon he was going to have his own progeny! Would it be a strong, fearless handsome boy like its father, or an intelligent, masterfully cunning and dangerously beautiful girl like its mother? Stay tuned to find out!

And boy, would he celebrate the pregnancy! You'd almost make him quit drinking just to sympathise with you. Almost.

Xiao Xingchen

"We're going to have a family? Together?"

Words wouldn't be enough to describe what he'd feel. Fleeting worry in between bouts of utter elation and delight, mixed with a hint of surprise and a whole lot of internally sappy thoughts occupied his better judgement. He'd pull you in for a gentle hug, before moving to rest a hand on your head, stroking your hair, whispering lovingly how delightful a family with you would be and how he couldn't wait to meet his child.

He'd want to teach his child everything he knows, everything he was taught and everything he believes in. You'd have to remind him, that there's still much time to go before he'd have a chance to do that. A toddler can only do so much, you see.

Of course, the question about his endless travels would come up eventually. Truthfully, Xiao Xingchen would be more than willing to set his travelling aside for the time being, at least until your child is old enough to travel with you. In fact, a domestic family lifestyle suddenly wouldn't seem so out-of-reach for him and that would bring him utter delight.

The thought of a having his own loving family with a wonderful wife and adorable children had rarely crossed his mind, seeming as nothing more than a distant thought. But as you stood beside him, with a small baby bump and a child on the way, he'd realise that indeed the gods had smiled his way in the best possible way.

He'd often rest his hands on your stomach, wanting to feel the baby kick. Of course, he'd also use that excuse to be ever-closer to you. Physical affection would double, as Xiao Xingxhen found himself attached to you whenever any of you had time.

You two would often joke around about the baby too, since laughter was something sacred to both of you. And Xiao Xingchen would absolutely never fail to make you laugh, whenever worry would overcome you.

" Maybe our child will be as tall as a giraffe" "A-Chen, my love, it's 3 in the morning. Go to SLEEP."

He'd never taken care of a child before, hell you were his first love, but you'd seen him around kids when passing through different villages. His caring nature and innocent heart made him a wonderful father.

He'd never expected to one day have a family, but the very thought that you were there and you were carrying his child, would make his heart swell with pride and love. After all, he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Song Lan

"..."

Tall, dark and handsome over here would be utterly starstuck. He never thought he'd get to a point in his life, where he'd actually become a father. He never thought he'd have children, who would become his legacy. And as all that raced through his head, worry swept over him. Did YOU want that?

"Are you happy...we're having a baby?" The first words he'd utter.

"Of course! Are you not?"

The moment he sees your worried expression, his eyes would soften and he'd pull you in, leaving a kiss on the top of your head. "I am surprised, worried, yet thoroughly overjoyed." he'd mumble into your hair and the world around you would melt away.

Song Lan is a man of a few words, but many actions. He'd become twice as protective, keeping a steady hand on your shoulder as you walked thorough town, going out of his way to make sure you're comfortable and content, safe and sound, and of course happy.

He'd try his best to spoil you, getting you absolutely everything you might want or need. He'd even cook for you! He'd put you as his number one priority. After all, you were all he had left.

Would he silently panic whenever your stomach hurt, or you were feeling sick, or just in general felt any discomfort? Yes. Has he read a ton about pregnancy to make sure he was prepared for anything? Yes. Did he imagine every worst-case scenario in existence? Yes. Did any of that happen whatsoever? No. But Song Lan - big scary, dark and broody Song Lan, would absolutely cower at the thought that something so much as MIGHT go wrong. Of course, he wouldn't show it.

Well into the later stages of the pregnancy, he'd try to spend as much time with you as possible, to make sure he was there when the baby was going to be born. You'd already have a few names planned out, no matter the gender. The two of you would be READY. Hands down the most prepared.

He'd often lie with you, imagining what it would be like, being a father. He'd wonder whether you'd have a girl or a boy, whether it would resemble you or him more, whether it would be quiet and stone-faced, or kind-hearted and cheerful. And your answer to all of his what ifs would remain the same. "We're about to find out."

And those exact words would make his heart swell, both with love and anticipation. Of course, he wouldn't show it. But you knew better.

Thank you for reading~

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arysthaeniru · 3 years

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aAAA the joy of seeing an update on your current favorite fanfic is just aAAA

I always felt that kiwami 1s Nishiki was just a bit too,, I dont know how to describe it; but essentially he just felt off, granted yakuza 1 is a product of its time and therefore the plot is a bit dated and whack as all hell

The way you write Nishiki just feels so much better and realistic; in the original he just seems so uncaring towards Kiryu? which just feels kinda OOC? You'd think he still cares about Kiryu despite it all, especially when you take Yakuza 0 into consideration; and i feel like you portray Nishiki much more accurately

I never thought much about Yumi, because honestly, in the original she was kinda just, there? You actually made her a very interesting person! like I'm actually invested in her in your story! (side note you ever think about her clone who got tortued and died? yeah who WAS that???? thats never brought up is it??)

Theres so much more to talk about but in short; This is the best fix it/rewrite of a game plot I have read to date and it brings me joy in my current stressful school life. and no I will not stop praising it or the author, because this work has made me very happy. ;)

I just have a gift for picking favorites that end up dying,,aand another favorite of mine is Mine

imo theres a lack of soft, reassuring Minedai, i just feel like he'd need a reminder that people love him as a person and not just for the money he can provide, even if its obvious

I'd love to see how you'd write them, but I understand if theres more interesting/appealing drabble requests!

- Carp

CARP, thank you for this <3 this is so sweet!!!!! I’m so happy you enjoy my Nishiki! I had fun playing with what Yakuza 0/the Kiwami additions gave us about Nishiki’s personality and outlook on the world, and trying to reconcile that with the plot that Yakuza 1 initially had. Ultimately, I fell on the side that you did: even if Nishiki’s ambition took him down a monstrous path, I don’t think he’s the sort of person who neglects to pay back his debts. And he’s aware of the huge debt he owes Kiryu. Not to mention, their bonds of trust and love vanishing completely because of jealousy felt unreal to me. Their relationship becoming twisted or strange? Yes, but vanishing entirely felt unsatsifying to me.

And Yumi!! I had so much fun excavating her character from the clues we get of her in canon. I worry sometimes, that she’s unrecognizable, because you know, I’ve given her a college education, and a whole bunch of interests beyond hostessing alone, but people seem to like it and like her, which is great!! I hate fridging women characters, so keeping her and Reina alive was important to me, hahaha. (RE: fake!Mizuki, there’s this substory in Kiwami that actually addresses who she was, BUT IT’S EVEN MORE HORRIFYING. So that’s why Yumi in my fic is the one captured and tortured by Nishiki’s men, because the thought of this poor innocent woman getting dragged into the mess was just untenable to me.)

Anyway, thank you for your support and kind words, and I hope you’ll continue to read and that my fic can continue to relieve stress. I--tried to write this about Mine, but Daigo kind of stole the spotlight a little??? I hope you still like it--if not, I will try a ficlet from Mine’s perspective too. I enjoy minedai a lot, but I haven’t had room to think out their dynamic yet, so this took me a while.

Daigo’s no stranger to being desired. He’s attractive, he knows this—his mother’s beauty lives in his veins, and he’s always had the money to look after himself. Fancy soaps to wash his face, the invisible retainers to keep his teeth straight, fancy suits and skin-tight shirts to show off his frame. For all that Kiryu insists his charisma is something that comes from the soul, Daigo knows it wouldn’t be able to draw the sort of attention he does without being attractive.

Which is to say that Daigo’s not especially thrown off by the intensity of Mine’s gaze. It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again. The thing that surprises him is how much he relishes in being seen by Mine.

Maybe it’s because Mine’s an island in a stormy sea, one of the only yakuza his age who’s sensible and level-headed enough to make it big. Maybe it’s because Mine’s gaze is always so reserved, polite, never overly lusty or overstaying its welcome, and Daigo has so rarely been desired so quietly. Or maybe it’s because Majima and Kashiwagi so clearly disapprove of him—Daigo’s always been something of a rebel, and he hasn’t shaken that off, even now he’s in his thirties and is the arbiter of rules for the Tojo Clan.

Daigo can’t quite put a pin on why he’s so comfortable with Mine’s yearning looks, but he’s never been one to hold back when he wants to indulge in something good. Not exactly a hedonist, not by yakuza standards, but Daigo has never kept himself from enjoying life, in the name of some dubious ‘honour.’

Which is why, in an after-hours meeting with Mine, as they eat cheap takeout sushi together, Daigo takes his chance. A momentary slip, the slightest hint of wasabi left at the corners of Mine’s lips and Daigo swoops in, rubs a thumb over the corner of Mine’s lips. Mine stutters to a stop, mid-sentence through a rundown of the real-estate that the Hakuho Clan’s been purchasing up, and stares at Daigo, eyes bewildered.

“Sixth Chairman?” he asks, his voice still remarkably composed.

“Wasabi.” Daigo says, nonchalantly, as if it’s nothing, and sticks his thumb into his mouth, slowly licking it off with a lingering lave of his tongue. He feels a sharp stab of satisfaction as Mine’s eyes turn darker, and his gaze follows Daigo’s hand down.

Daigo straightens up, languidly, and cracks his neck, casually. At this point in the day, he’s untucked his shirt, and he knows that a slight strip of his stomach will be visible when he stretches out his arms towards the ceiling. And as predictably as clockwork, Mine’s gaze darts downwards, to that pale expanse, to catch that brief second of skin. Daigo can’t help but feel warm. Something about being watched by Mine is exhilarating.

“Smoke?” offers Daigo, but as usual, Mine refuses, with a polite shake of his head.

Daigo knows from hearsay that Mine’s something a health-freak, so he’s not entirely surprised. It’s already too late for Daigo to preserve his health—he knows that his liver’s already been pretty ruined from long nights of binge-drinking as a youth, and this job’s too stressful to withhold from vices like smoking and drinking, without an optimal end-goal. So he walks over to the window, cracks it open a little, and lights up.

The breath of nicotine curls over his body, a tender caress, and Daigo feels his shoulders drop, as the relaxation hits. He pulls off his cufflinks, tosses them into his pockets and rolls up his sleeves. He takes it slow, runs his fingers over his skin a little more than strictly necessary. Surreptitiously checking the reflection in the window, Daigo watches Mine watch him, and smirks at how intense that gaze is, how Mine’s mouth has opened, and Daigo can just see the soft pink of his tongue.

“Dojima’s just fine, you know. When it’s just us two.” Daigo says, turning over his shoulder. He smiles, one of those charming smiles that had always gotten him whatever he wanted as a child, “We’re same-aged friends, after all.”

“Dojima-san.” Mine acknowledges, after a brief pause.

Daigo turns around, to properly look at Mine and lifts an eyebrow. “Dojima. Or Daigo, preferably. Dojima-san’s always my father in my head.”

Mine nods, face impassive. Daigo can’t read him like this. Maybe that’s why he likes when Mine stares at him, filled with longing. At least then, Daigo feels like he knows him. In moments like these, his implacable gazes might as well be a brick wall. “Right. Your Father was also in the Tojo Clan.”

Daigo smiles, wryly, and blows out a puff of smoke. “One of the most horrible men I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting—and I had to call him Father. But damn if he wasn’t good at the job.” He sighs and stubs the cigarette out against the ashtray. “...sometimes feel like I’m competing with his dead spirit. Everybody’s looking at me and wondering if this is what my Father would do. Or what Kiryu-san would do.”

“You’re doing better than any of them.” Mine says, immediately, with a vicious ferocity that Daigo wasn’t expecting. He can’t quite stop his eyebrows rising in surprise, and Mine straightens upwards, looking self-conscious immediately. Daigo regrets his instinctual reaction, immediately. “That is to say, Dojima, that I think that you’ve pulled this Clan into somewhere far more respectable. From what I’ve heard of your Father, he didn’t have the temperament to do proper business on this level—too insistent on formal obeisance and unable to be flexible as the times require. And Kiryu-san might be very honourable, but we are yakuza. There are certain things you have to do as a Chairman, that he couldn’t bring himself to do. But you are practical and do what is necessary, while also not overstepping into excessive violence. You are uniquely suited for this job, Dojima.”

...he’s taken aback a little, he can’t deny it. Daigo wonders if his cheeks are colouring, wonders if his obvious shock is offputting, wonders if this is how Mine feels every time Daigo teases him lightly about his obvious attraction. A startling warmth spreads through his chest, and Daigo can’t stop the slight smile that touches his face. Has anybody ever said something so unreservedly kind and measured about Daigo before?

Maybe this is the difference between everybody else’s gazes on him, and Mine’s gaze. It’s based on something more than desire alone. Respect.

Daigo runs a hand over his slicked-back hair and ruffles it free, with a rueful smile, a smile that he couldn’t take away from his face, even if he tried. “I appreciate that. You know I couldn’t do it without you, right?”

He’d never really believed himself capable of attraction to a man like Mine. All of his previous childhood crushes had been on bright, cheerful conversational, pure-hearted people. Daigo had always figured they would balance out his sardonic cynicism. He’d never thought someone as reserved and principled as Mine would ever make his heart flutter. But then, there was something about that deep hunger and passion that Daigo craved. Perhaps it was because he was no longer the gloomy punk of his youth. Maybe his tastes have changed towards tall, dark and handsome. Maybe Mine’s just that special.

“Dojima—” Mine says, clearly trying to refute it, but Daigo cuts him off.

“I mean it. Everybody in this fucking Clan wants me to do something or be somebody else. Kashiwagi-san wants me to be my mother. Majima-san wants me to be Kiryu-san. Everybody else expects my Father. But not you. You deal with me honestly, and with candour, and never hold any expectations against me except success. I appreciate your faith in me.” Daigo takes a couple of steps forward, until his shoes almost brush up against Mine’s own. He leans down over Mine’s chair. “I could not do this without your backing and help. Truly. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone like you in my life. A true friend.”

Mine tilts his chin up to meet Daigo’s gaze, a hungry devotion in his eyes, and Daigo, for a moment, wonders if this is wrong. If he should hold back, like Kiryu would. But Daigo is Daigo, and Mine clearly wants him anyway, so he leans down and kisses him.

Mine’s mouth is velvety smooth and wet and hot and it is oh-so satisfying a feeling to put his hand against Mine’s broad neck and feel his warmth up against Daigo. He pulls back, with a satisfied sigh, and feels the burn of wasabi across his lips, a final parting kick.

#minedai #mine yoshitaka #dojima daigo #spiraling downhill fic tag #yakuza #rgg

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zootopiathingz · 3 years

Text

Between the Odds

Part Nine: Uncomfortable Encounter

Judy and Nick didn't get many days off, but when they did they took full advantage of it. Sometimes they would decide to stay in and be lazy together, but now that they were a couple they wanted to utilize their free time by going on dates and having some alone time.

It was their first day off since they started going out three weeks ago, and so they chose to have an all-day date. They started by having brunch, then they went to see a movie (that they didn't enjoy too much, but they were more focused on each other), and by the afternoon they were walking aimlessly around the city to be more spontaneous. Although they would probably later decide to call it a day and go home soon.

It seemed now that they were just walking in circles, since Judy recognized the street they were on now that she was starting to pay attention to her surroundings again. "Should we just go back?" She asked, "I feel like today was pretty productive."

"Whatever you want." Nick shrugged nonchalantly, since he didn't mind what she wanted to do. He just wanted to be with her, that's all that mattered to him. "You wanna go to your place or mine?"

"Good question." She chuckled, since she had no idea which she preferred. She had everything she needed at his apartment, but it was also vise versa, so it didn't really matter where they went. Ever since they became official, they spent every night with each other regardless of who's apartment they were at, and it was starting to feel like they were basically roommates.

And that's when a thought came to mind, and Judy felt the need to ask now rather than later. "You know, we've kinda been going back and forth spending the night at each other's apartment." She began, slipping her paws into her pockets. "Do you think it would be easier if one of us just moved in?"

Nick's ears perked up, as he was now intrigued by what she was suggesting. He slowed his pace as he looked down at her, a little surprised by what she said. But he wasn't opposed to it. If anything, he had considered it a few times himself, even back before they were a couple. "Wait, really? You want us to live together?"

Judy nodded, a small little smile making its way on her face. "Why not? It'd be more convenient, and we practically live together already. This would just make it official." She explained, trying to read his expression to see how he felt. From what she saw, he didn't hate the idea.

"You got a point there." He said, "I'm surprised we haven't done it yet, to be honest."

"So you're on board with it?" She asked, trying not to let her hopes get too high yet, since he hadn't outwardly agreed to it. "You don't think it's too soon, do you?"

Nick shook his head, scoffing a little. "I don't think so. We've known each other long enough." He rubbed the top of her head, "And how can I say 'no' to spending more time with my little Carrot cake?"

She giggled and shoved his paw away, though she didn't let go of it when it was moved from her head. "So I'll take that as a 'yes'?"

"Yes." He said, squeezing her paw. "I'd love to live with you."

Judy squealed quietly, holding onto his arm with her free paw, leaning her head against him. He smiled and interlocked their fingers to return some kind of affection to her (since he was too tall to lean against her). It briefly slipped their minds that they were still out in public for anybody to see, and at the moment they didn't really care. They were happy and on a date, so they were allowed to act as such. And it's not like anyone was actively watching their every move. Or so they thought.

While the rest of the mammals on the street seemed to mind their own business, there was one beaver in particular that took notice to the to couple and was none too pleased to see them being affectionate with each other. He glowered at them as they stood on opposite sides of the crosswalk, even though the two didn't see him at first.

As they waited for their turn to cross the street, Judy spotted the beaver staring at her and Nick like they were murderers. It quickly occurred to her that she accidentally let her excitement get the better of her, and she reluctantly released her boyfriend's paw and took a small step away to leave some space between them. Nick looked down at her confused, but he didn't say anything to question her actions. He could easily figure out why she retreated.

Once it was safe, the two made their way across the street along with a few other mammals around them, this including the beaver. But when they passed each other, he continued to stare at them and observe their behavior carefully. He even stopped halfway in his tracks to turn around, as if waiting to see if they'd continue to hold paws or possibly more.

Judy became noticeably uncomfortable by his staring, and though she tried to ignore it, she could feel his eyes following her as she walked onto the sidewalk. It was a good thing looks didn't kill, otherwise she and Nick would've dropped dead long ago.

Nick put his paw on her back to help her keep up with him as he started to walk faster. "Just keep walking, Carrots." He told her quietly, not bothering to look back at the beaver staring daggers at him and his girlfriend. Why the man was so fixated on them was beyond him, but he knew he had to get Judy out of sight before things escalated.

Unfortunately, no matter how fast they walked, they could feel the beaver behind them no farther than seven feet away. Why was he following them? Why did he even care? There was no time to question, they just wanted to get somewhere safe and private. Of course the one day they're not in uniform was the day someone decided to bother them.

As they were about to turn the corner, they heard the beaver shout from behind them, "Breeders!"

It was at this point the two stopped in their tracks to finally face the man, giving him a cold look. What made him think he could just yell out a slur like that to random strangers he knew nothing about? What if they weren't a couple and they were just holding paws as friends? Would he yell at them then?

"Excuse me?" Judy asked, raising a brow.

"I said you're fucking breeders!" He repeated harshly, spitting in their direction—although it didn't reach them.

Nick shook his head as they both reached into their pockets. "Yeah, you're gonna wanna refrain from doing that again, bud." He said as they revealed their badges to him. Even off duty, they had to carry them around just in case. Although admittedly now they wished they had brought their tasers, too.

The sight of the badges seemed to intimidate the beaver slightly, but his disdain was still prominent in his expression. "You're a disgrace to the force." He scoffed before walking away, repeatedly shaking his head in disgust. "He's gonna eat you alive, you know!"

They both immediately knew what he meant, and they were not happy about it, especially Nick. His eyes shot open before he glared at the beaver, tempted to tackle him to the ground and have his ass beaten for his behavior.

But Judy noticed his rising anger and was quick to hold his arm to prevent him from doing anything, and to help calm him down. "It's not worth it, Nick. Just ignore him." She sighed, leading him away and around the corner.

"Yeah well, he needs to learn when to shut his mouth." Nick huffed in frustration.

"I know, I know." She frowned, rubbing up and down his arm, constantly checking to ensure no one was looking at them. "But this is why I said we need to keep it a secret. There's mammals like him everywhere and we just need to be careful when we're out like this."

Nick sighed, taking a small breath to help relax himself. Even though she was right, he still didn't feel any better about a stranger claiming he would hurt Judy. But there was no point in getting worked up over it, not when he was supposed to be spending quality time with his girlfriend. "I know." He said, staring off to the side.

Judy thought for a moment, grabbing his paws to hold them in hers, since there was no one else around that would see. "Hey, how about we go back to my place? We can act however we want there." She said with a smile, "And we can start deciding where we wanna live."

Well, he definitely couldn't decline that offer. Somehow her voice and her suggestion lifted a crushing weight off of his chest, and he chose to forget all about the beaver that was bothering them a minute ago. The bunny never failed to make him happy.

He smiled and kissed her paw, "Sure, whatever you want."

#zootopia #judy hopps #nick wilde #judy x nick #wildehopps #zootropolis #zootopia fanfiction #fanfic

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amphtaminedreams · 3 years

Text

COVID-19, Negligent Manslaughter, and a Timeline of Tory Indifference

“I feel sorry for Boris Johnson. He is doing the best he can in the situation and I don’t think anybody else could have done a better job.”

[exhibit A: a gem somebody that I’m Facebook friends with reposted earlier]

It’s a sentiment that I cannot quite wrap my head around. I sit here hopeless and furious and trying to hold back tears because it’s been almost a year since England first went into lockdown and yet here we are, almost 100,000 dead, in an even worse position than we were before whilst other countries begin to slowly return to normality. It is clear to me who is to blame for this, however there are a large proportion of people who don’t want to “politicise” the actions of the PRIME MINISTER with regards to his approach towards handling a virus sweeping the country he GOVERNS.

Typically, these kind of posts making the rounds on social media will be accompanied by some kind of photo of Boris Johnson looking somber as if to suggest that the way things have played out were beyond his control and that he is some kind of broken man beleaguered by the suffering he has, despite good intentions, inadvertently caused.

This one in particular of Johnson with his head in his hands is a staple. In reality, this is a photo taken back in 2018 whilst he was receiving flack from party members for comparing Theresa May to a suicide bomber (for her handling of Brexit, ironically) as well as from the papers due to his rumoured (now also proven, in a completely non-surprising turn of events, to be true) affair with his former aide, Carrie Symonds.

So let’s shut this narrative-where we should feel for Boris because he’s doing his best, and apparently a better job than anybody else could’ve done in his situation- down right here. In a supposedly developed country with one of the world’s largest economies, if we’re talking by proportion, our COVID-19 death toll is up there with the worst of them. It seems that every other state figurehead (bar a small handful), and I mean almost every single one of them, is doing a better job. People love to throw figures out there about how densely populated we are to combat damning statistics as if we haven’t got just as many factors playing to our advantage, as if it’s unfair to compare our response to Germany’s or Japan’s or Singapore’s (both of which are far more densely populated) or New Zealand’s or Vietnam’s, but we are an ISLAND with world-leading technology and infrastructure and healthcare equipment and professionals and a relatively high standard of living. In what world is almost 70,000 dead in a country with abundant time and means to prepare a response reflective of said country’s leaders doing a good job?

Apparently we’re supposed to believe that Johnson feels some sense of moral responsibility for this astronomical failure. A man who refuses to acknowledge the multiple children he has fathered outside of his marriages and who has had repeatedly engaged in affairs and one-night stands throughout said marriages. A man who continued to cheat whilst his most recent wife was receiving treatment for cervical cancer, for fuck’s sake. Yep, a real stand-up guy.

So where does this idea that Johnson must feel remorseful for this catastrophe come from? We haven’t seen a second of remorse or a hint of accountability for the lives lost from him nor any members of his cabinet. That much is really no surprise; I have this hypothesis, and it’s not a stretch, that these people do not have an ounce of empathy in their bodies. These ridiculously privileged, privately-educated individuals who have had everything handed to them their entire lives simply cannot put themselves in the shoes of the average working person and that is the problem. Unable to recognise that what distinguishes them from most others is little more than the luck of being born into wealth and the abundance of recourses and connections that has entailed throughout their lives, they see us as beneath them-as less intelligent, less driven, and thus less deserving of the status and respect they enjoy. They see us as a bunch of whining, unmotivated idiots who do not recognise the chokehold they have over our media nor the fact that everything they do is a desperate grab to keep money and power within the hands of a select group of people, an exclusive members club from which most of us are barred (just take a simple Google search and watch Jacob Rees-Mogg’s opinion of the Grenfell victims or the buried Johnson speech where he talks about how inequality is essential). They know that we will squabble amongst ourselves about who is to blame rather than wising up to the truth which is that every decision they make is fuelled by cronyism and the inability to make and follow through with difficult choices, the pandemic being no exception. The supposedly self-made elite see the life of the average working class person as having far less value than their own, and their parties actions over the last 10 years have made that very clear.

It was in December 2019 that the first case of COVID-19 was declared to the World Health Organisation and on March the 11th that they announced they considered it as a pandemic. In Wuhan, people were dying of pneumonia in their clusters. And what was Boris Johnson doing in this time? Well for starters, here in the UK we didn’t even have a pandemic committee-Johnson had scrapped it six months before. If years of benefits cuts and defunding of the NHS in favour of funding nuclear weapon programs, keeping British troops on other people’s lands, and tax breaks for the mega corporations that donate to their party didn’t convince you that the Conservatives have little regard for human life, them getting rid of this committee-whilst a pandemic has been declared year after year as the greatest threat to mankind-should have been the first sign of trouble. As if that wasn’t enough, he also skipped five of the COBRA (meetings are made up of a cross-departmental committee put together to respond to national emergencies and PMs routinely attend those pertaining to crises on the scale of COVID-19) meetings addressing the situation. Whilst other countries were closing their borders and stocking up on PPE, Johnson and his ministers were selling PPE abroad and simply telling people to wash their hands to the length of the tune of happy birthday. Their only policy was one of “herd immunity”, which was in fact not a policy but just an abandonment of their party’s public duty disguised as one, intentionally obfuscated with pseudoscientific jargon.

Even thinking the absolute worst of politicians you would hope that when it came to the point where the UK’s non-response to COVID-19 was becoming an international disgrace, Johnson and his ministers would take proper protective measures if only to save face. But when they eventually seemed to do so, it became clear that the priority was not the safety of the ordinary people affected by the virus. Outsourcing their test and traces system to companies such as Serco, Sitel, Deloitte and G4S rather than public health services, Conservative ministers could not resist attempting to line the pockets of their friends and benefactors in the process. According to the Guardian, instead of reaching out to the experts or using publicly funded services to handle COVID containment measures, the Conservative party has awarded a disgusting £1.5 BILLION WORTH of contracts to businesses with explicit connections to its MPs and donors, the majority of which lack any relative experience of the tasks they’ve been trusted to carry out. Unsurprisingly, the National Audit office found that when awarding contracts relating to the production of COVID-19 protection measures and treatment needs, there was a “high-priority lane” for suppliers referred by senior politicians and officials; companies with a political referral were 10 times more likely to end up winning a government contract than those without. On top of this, it is not hard to draw a link between the late initiation of lockdown measures and preemptive openings of pubs and restaurants against scientific advice to the interests of frequent donors such as Wetherspoons owner Tim Martin. Even if one chooses to ignore the blatantly obvious correlation between the owners of the businesses whose profits were prioritised over safety concerns and the number of those owners who donate to the Conservatives, party officials at the very least were reluctant to follow the lead of many other countries in financing furlough schemes themselves and instead avoided this responsibility by using loose lockdown measures to leave it down to the discretion of small business owners, who couldn’t themselves afford to furlough staff, whether or not to stay open.

Time and time again, as the government flounder and fuck about, favouring personal desires to keep their powerful, high-paying jobs and to satisfy the corporate allies who make this possible, blame has been shifted from the public to care homes to NHS workers and back again whilst we, the public, make the biggest sacrifices of all under the illusion that we were being guided out of this pandemic rather than lied to and thrown under the bus. Whilst the elite continue to pick and choose what rules apply to them, it’s students and the elderly and the vulnerable paying the fines and scrabbling to afford basic living costs and hoping that they don’t lose someone dear to them.

Don’t get me wrong, a large proportion of the public have contributed to the spread too with their selfishness and entitlement and the arrogance it takes to develop a sudden refusal to acknowledge basic science from experts who have studied in the field their whole lives so that they can justify their need to go to the pub (speaking of, it’s absolutely HILARIOUS how many “mental health advocates” are suddenly coming out of the woodworks on football avi Twitter after they’ve spent years calling people on mental health Twitter attention seekers). And don't get me wrong, there were inevitably going to be casualties of this pandemic. But it didn't have to spread to this many people, and there didn’t have to be so many deaths due to a lack of preparation, and this wouldn’t have been the case if it weren’t for the inherent apathy of the Conservative party towards the lives of people of lesser status than them, the reluctance to put those lives before party interests. I wish I felt like there was an end in sight, I wish there was some positive takeaway from all of this, but even now, we continue to see corners being cut with the vaccine lauded as our saving grace and anti-maskers gathering outside hospitals to chant about how “oppressive” it is to be urged to wear a bit of cloth over their faces for the short periods of time in which they leave their houses and all I can think of is the selfishness that runs like poison through our country. It makes me sick and leaves me to question desperately where we go from here. I don’t like unanswered questions, I don’t like feeling politically directionless, and I don’t like the growing fear I have about the state of the world which seems to intensify every single day. In the UK at least, it’s starting to feel like nothing will ever change-we’re told we live in a democracy and yet mainstream media is owned by the people whose interest is to keep their Conservative friends in power. The stronghold they have over print media in particular allows them to continually get away with smearing and defaming every person who comes along and seems to want to actually help ordinary people, without being challenged, to the point where the only kind of “opposition” we’re left with promises nothing but a big boss approved tactical reshuffling of the status quo (which they call “electability”); it doesn’t feel like democracy when the majority of the country are being fed misleading information and convinced against voting in their best interests.

This is the result of that. The state we find ourselves in is the inevitable result of being manipulated into helping the elite build their protective wall whilst the rest of us scrabble to get in and step on each others heads along the way, the people inside shouting over that it’s those even more vulnerable than ourselves that are taking our places. Outside the wall, the earth is falling from beneath our feet, and instead of throwing over the ropes to help us out, the people inside are stockpiling them so they can secure their firm place above ground and then later flog the rest. How many more people have to die before we reach some kind of widespread realisation of that? Where do we go from here and what do we do? Well for one, we can stop spreading those god-fucking-awful textposts on Facebook and get our heads out of our arses. Wear our masks over and wear them over our fucking noses. Have some fucking consideration for others. Don’t wait til an issue affects you personally to give a fuck about it. AND START HOLDING THE FUCKING PRIME MINISTER AND HIS MINISTERS AND HIS ENTIRE PARTY AS WELL AS THE OPPOSITION MPS THAT HAVE SAT BY THE SIDELINES AND ALLOWED THIS TO GO ON WITHOUT PROTEST ACCOUNTABLE. That would be a good start.

I’m so tired. Things didn’t need to be this way, and yet because of the selfishness of the few, thousands upon thousands are dead. It’s not about “throwing around blame”, it’s not about “throwing around” anything, it’s about expecting a leader to do his best to protect lives. If that is “throwing blame”, let’s get things clear, I have no issue with hurtling it torpedo style at those who handed out a death sentence to so many in this country rather than do anything that might compromise their own privilege. Honestly, pass me the shovel after and I’ll happily bury the wreckage in the ground. Who wants to join?:-)

#rant #politics #anti capitalism #anticapitalist #covid-19 #covid #england #labour #socialism #fuck the tories #fuck the torys #fuck boris #rant post

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picsofsannyas · 3 years

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Osho says. Hein Steff, there is nothing wrong in being homosexual.

BELOVED MASTER, I AM HOMOSEXUAL. I FEEL TERRIBLY OPPRESSED AND STRICKEN BY THE STIGMA OF HOMOSEXUALITY. IT SEEMS FALSE TO ME TO COME HERE TO FIND A WAY TO COME CLOSER TO MYSELF AND AT THE SAME TIME NOT TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO SHOW MYSELF THE WAY I AM. THEN I WANT TO RESIGN AND RETURN HOME SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT ANY LONGER. WHAT CAN I DO?

Hein Steff, there is nothing wrong in being homosexual. You need not feel guilty about it. One certainly has to go beyond sex, but that is as much applicable to heterosexuality as it is applicable to homosexuality. Heterosexuality or homosexuality are just styles of the same stupidity! You need not feel guilty.

In fact, looking at the population of the world, homosexuality should be supported. At least you will not be increasing the population of the world, you will not be loading the earth more. It is already loaded too much. Homosexuality should be valued, respected -- it is pure fun! Heterosexuality is dangerous. And what is wrong? If two persons are enjoying each other's bodies, nothing is wrong. It should be their concern; nobody else's business to interfere.

But the society is continuously interfering in everything; it does not leave anybody any privacy. It enters in your bedroom too. Your society is not a free society. It talks of freedom and democracy and all that rot, but it is pure slavery. It is a big prison. And your priests and your so-called God are all Peeping Toms. They are all looking into your private lives, what you are doing. It should be nobody's business.

What is wrong in loving a man or a woman? Two men can love each other, two women can love each other. Love is a value in itself. And fun should not be condemned. Life is already such a burden, such a drag, such a boredom. Leave at least something in life so people can feel a little less bored.

Here you need not feel afraid to show yourself the way you are. My whole approach is to help you to be the way you are because that is the only way to help you transcend it. Feel guilty and you will remain the same. Guilt never transforms anybody.

And homosexuality is such an innocent phenomenon. Why is it so much condemned? The reason is that if it is not condemned, the fear is that almost everybody will turn homosexual because every child has the tendency. Every child passes through the stage when he is homosexual. Every boy, every girl, passes through a time when boys like boys and girls like girls. The fear is that if many people turn homosexual -- and particularly in the past when the population was not big and every society wanted more numbers because numbers meant power.... To allow homosexuality was dangerous; it had to be condemned, absolutely condemned, so much so that in a few countries it is the greatest crime.

For example, in Ayatollah Khomeiniac's country, Iran, it is one of the greatest crimes. You can be imprisoned for your whole life or you can even be sentenced to death, just for being homosexual. It seems absolutely absurd, ridiculous, but in the past there was some reason in it. Every society wanted to be more powerful. It was a constant struggle -- a struggle between groups, struggle between tribes, struggle between clans -- the deciding factor was your number, how many you are. If people become homosexual, then the population will decrease; hence it has to be condemned as the greatest sin.

It may have some meaning if you think of the past, but in the present it is absolutely meaningless. In fact, the whole situation has become just the opposite: now heterosexuality is the danger; less numbers are needed. If humanity goes on growing this way, then we cannot support humanity, we cannot live any longer. By the end of this century the population will be so much, the poverty will be so much, that there seems to be no way out except a third world war which will kill almost everybody -- so that a few people can start the whole story again.

I have heard a story, a twenty-first century story: The third world war has happened, and a monkey is sitting on a rock taking a sunbath. A female monkey comes with an apple and gives the apple to the monkey. And the monkey says, "My God, are we going to start it all over again?"

Homosexuality is condemned because there is every possibility that if it is not condemned many more people will turn towards it. The inner tendency is there in every person. In fact, the person who is against it... the more he is against it, the more he has the tendency. Deep down, unconsciously, he knows it is there. To repress it he has to be very much against it; he feels disgusted by the very idea.

But nobody is telling HIM to become homosexual. If others feel attracted, then it is not your business to interfere or to condemn them. It is their freedom, and they are not doing any harm to anybody. It is a harmless game -- stupid, certainly, but not a sin. But as far as stupidity is concerned all sex is stupid, for the simple reason that it is a biological urge and you are not the master of it, you are just a victim.

And you need not be so much worried about it, Hein, because homosexuality has a very beautiful origin: it originated in the monasteries. It is something religious! The first homosexuals were monks and nuns -- Christians, Buddhists, Jainas; all great religions have contributed their share to it. It was bound to be so because there are monasteries even now in existence where no woman has ever entered.

In a Catholic monastery in Europe, Mount Athos, for one thousand years no woman has entered; not even a six-month-old girl has been allowed to enter in. What kind of people are living there? A six-month-old girl and they are afraid even of that! What can they do? But repressing sex creates fear, so the whole monastery is full of men; and homosexuality is a natural by-product if only boys are together or only girls are together.

Religious people have contributed greatly. Educationists have contributed greatly, because boys have to be educated separately. They have to reside in different hostels specially for them and girls have to stay aloof in separate hostels, in separate schools. If you put too many girls together they are bound to become lesbians, because when the sexual urge takes possession of them and they cannot find a boy, then anything is better than nothing.

In zoos even animals turn homosexual -- only in zoos, remember. In their wild state they don't become homosexual. There is no need -- females are available. But in a zoo, if females are not available, they become homosexual. A zoo is worth studying. I used to study zoos because the zoo gives you many indications about human society. The human society is a big zoo because everything has become so unnatural.

Go to a zoo and watch the animals and you will be able to see many things. They become homosexuals; they never become homosexuals in their wild stage. They are FORCED to become homosexuals. They go crazy, they become insane, mad. In wild states they never become insane. No animal ever becomes mad in his wild state; he remains sane. But his sanity needs a little freedom.

A lion has a big territory in his wild state, miles of territory, and he is the king of the whole territory. In a zoo he is in a small cage. If you go to the zoo you will see the lion walking up and down the cage, up and down, up and down, the whole day. It can drive anybody mad. He needs freedom, he needs a certain territory. In such a small space he is overcrowded. He becomes angry, enraged, violent.

Many diseases never happen in the wild. For example, no animal suffers from tuberculosis or cancer, but in a zoo animals suffer from tuberculosis and cancer. Strange! In the wild there are no medical facilities for them and in the zoo every kind of medical facility is available. Doctors are there to look after them, great doctors, doing something great! What they cannot take care of on their own -- cancer, tuberculosis -- doctors help them with. Animals become victims of illnesses which they have never known before.

Human society has been so much forced to live in unnatural circumstances -- and the monastery is one of the most unnatural circumstances. It is a zoo, a religious zoo! Homosexuality was born there, so you need not feel very bad about it. You are a religious person! And you have a great lineage of homosexuals....

If you look for homosexuals you will be surprised. Many poets, many authors, many painters, many musicians, many dancers, many great people, many creative people, were homosexuals. Many Nobel Prize winners have been homosexuals.

And don't be worried about enlightenment either, because at least one homosexual I know has become enlightened -- Socrates; he was a homosexual. And there are suspicions about Jesus. I cannot prove it, they are only suspicions -- because he always moved with the boys. Those twelve apostles... who knows? But if he was, nothing is wrong in it. Socrates was certainly a homosexual. Plato was, Aristotle was. Greeks are great people!

One American girl was going to marry a Greek. The mother was very much worried. She said, "Wait! If you can avoid this marriage...." The girl was mad. She said, "No. He looks so beautiful, just like a Greek god!" The mother said, "I know, but after only a few days you will know he is nothing but a goddamned Greek! And one thing more," the mother said, "if you marry this man then remember one thing: never turn your back towards him, never! Whatsoever happens sleep on your back the whole night!" The girl got married. She insisted, and soon she found the mother was right: the Greek god was nothing but a goddamned Greek! And she was also puzzled because he was always trying to tell her, "Why don't you turn over?" -- but she wouldn't turn over; she was also stubborn! After six months all efforts failed. The Greek said, "Listen. If you don't turn over you are not going to have children ever." Then the girl had to turn because she wanted children. The Greek played a logical trick.

Greeks have been homosexuals for centuries. All their great people have been homosexuals. So you need not worry -- you have a great history behind you! Walt Whitman was a homosexual -- one of the greatest poets of all the ages. There seems to be something in homosexuality that makes people creative, or creative people homosexuals. There is something in it and I can see the point. When you stop creating children, your creativity takes new turns, new dimensions. You create poetry, you create painting.

And the people who have been condemning homosexuality for ages are also condemning it for one more reason. As far as the man/woman relationship is concerned it is always on the rocks, because man cannot understand the mind of the woman, the woman cannot understand the mind of the man. They are poles apart. That is their attraction, but that is also their conflict, constant conflict. If homosexuality is allowed, accepted, the fear is that many people will settle into it because a man can understand another man more easily -- they have the same mind. And women can understand each other more easily -- they have the same mind.

That's why homosexuals are called "gay" people. They are really gay! The heterosexuals look so sad. Whenever you see a couple you can immediately know whether they are married or not: if they are sad they are married, if they are looking dull and dead they are married. Marriage kills all joy for the simple reason that it creates so many conflicts. Hence all societies have condemned homosexuality, for the simple reason that if it is not condemned, what will happen to reproduction? In the past it had some meaning, but now it has no meaning.

Now the day has come when homosexuality CAN be accepted, should be accepted as a natural outlet of your sexual energies. I am not against it, I am not for it either. I am simply saying that if you have to live your sex you can choose your style, you are free to choose your style. If you decide to be stupid, at least you should be given the freedom to choose what kind of stupid you want to be! I give you total freedom.

My effort here is to help you to go beyond it, so if you are homosexual you have to go beyond homosexuality, if you are heterosexual you have to go beyond heterosexuality. And there are other people also who are neither, who are autoerotic, autosexual. They have to go beyond their autoeroticism. Man has to transcend sex, whatsoever kind of sex it is, because unless you go beyond your biology you will never know your soul. But meanwhile -- before you go beyond -- it is your freedom to be whatsoever you want to be.

You say, "I am homosexual. I feel terribly oppressed and stricken by the stigma of homosexuality."

There is no need to be "terribly oppressed." You must be accepting people's condemnation. Deep down somewhere you are also against it; otherwise, why feel oppressed? If people are against, let them be against! You need not declare to everybody that you are a homosexual. You need not move with a flag that you are a homosexual! You can remain a homosexual. Of course, you cannot hide it because your sex style changes your body language. The way the homosexual walks is totally different from the heterosexual; the way he talks is totally different. And he looks so gay, so happy!

So you will have to remain a little less happy, that's all. Don't look so happy, and walk a little more consciously, that's all. Don't feel oppressed and don't feel stricken by the stigma of homosexuality. That is all nonsense! And you say, "It seems false to me to come here to find a way to come closer to myself and at the same time not to have the courage to show myself the way I am."

What courage are you talking about? Here there is no question of courage. If you are homosexual you are homosexual! Here it does not need courage to declare it. Here you can write on your shirt, "I am homosexual." Nobody will take any notice of it. People will say, "So what?"

This is a totally different world. Here we accept all kinds of people: sane, insane, crazy -- we have no objection. Unless you start harming others we have no objection. And homosexuality is a harmless game, absolutely harmless. But you think that this is courageous that you are declaring that you are a homosexual. Here it is not; anywhere else it will be. And I will not suggest that you declare it anywhere else; there is no need. Why brag about it? Accept it silently, relax into it.

But you wanted to say it because it is boiling within you. Don't be worried what others say. Just look within yourself, what you are saying to your own homosexuality. You are not at ease with it. The society has corrupted you, contaminated you. The society has given you ideas. It has created a certain conscience in you and that conscience is pricking, continuously feeling hurt. Now you say, "Then I want to resign and return home so that I don't have to think about it any longer."

Just by going back home you will not be getting rid of it. Neither you will get rid of homosexuality nor will you get rid of the stigma or the feeling of being oppressed. You will have to drop your conscience that has been created by the society in you. You will have to understand yourself and clean yourself of all ideas imposed by others; only then will you be able to relax.

You ask me, "What can I do?"

Hein, don't make a problem out of it. Nothing has to be done about it. I don't tackle individual problems. My whole approach is that there are millions of diseases, but there is only one cure, and that cure is meditation.

You meditate -- homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual.... You meditate. You become more still and more silent. You create inner emptiness. You become more transparent, and then things will start changing. You will be able to see what you are doing to yourself. If it is right you will go on doing it with more joy, with more totality, with more intensity, with more passion. If it is wrong it will simply drop, just like dead leaves falling from a tree.

So I cannot suggest any specific method because to me all the problems are arising because we have become minds and we have forgotten that deep down there is a space within us which can be called no-mind. Entering that space, no-mind, will give you perspective, vision, clarity.

Meditate. Sit silently watching your thoughts -- homosexual, heterosexual, whatsoever they are, it doesn't matter. You watch, you become the witness. Slowly slowly, a distance will be created between you and your thoughts. And one day suddenly, the realization that you are not your mind. And that day a revolution has happened within you. After that day you will never be the same again. A transcendence has happened. After that, whatsoever you do is right; you can't do wrong then. And before that, whatsoever you do is wrong. So when I say I have nothing against homosexuality I am not supporting it, remember. I am not saying, "Be homosexual." I don't have anything against heterosexuality either, but I am not supporting heterosexuality. I am not supporting anything. These are all mind games -- and you have to go beyond all the games.

Your mind is created by the society.

Fifteen-year-old Bobby was running out of a theater where he had just seen a porno movie. The manager stopped him. "Why are you in such a hurry?" "My mother told me," said Bobby, "that if I ever looked at anything bad I would turn to stone -- and I have started!"

Two members of London's exclusive Explorers Club were discussing a mutual friend over large brandies and soda. "Well, I'll be damned," said the first old boy. "You say Parkhurst has gone to Africa and married an ape?" "Quite so, old man." There was a pause and the first clubman asked in a discreet tone, "A female ape, naturally?" "Of course," came the reply. "There is nothing queer about old Parkhurst."

The mind functions as an agent of the society within you. To go beyond mind is to go beyond society. To go beyond mind is to go beyond the whole history. To go beyond mind is to go beyond past. To go beyond mind is to enter into God. And then whatsoever happens is good, is virtue.

Osho.

The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol 10

Ch. 12. Question 3.

#Osho #meditation #sannyas #spirituality #homosexuality

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finnofamerica · 4 years

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Oh A Little Bit (Every Day) - Bofur x Reader

Summary: Not used to recieving compliments, you shy away from the company’s attempts at kindness. Bofur makes it his quest to prove to you that you are worthy of the compliments they award you.

Word Count: 1,185

Date Posted: 04.26.2020

Note: It’s been a long time since I last wrote for The Hobbit and I went and rewatched the movies to refamiliarize myself with the characters, so while this is fast paced and seems kinda short I hope I did Bofur the justice that he deserves.

|| Masterlist || Requested by @on-my-way-to-erebor

You were torn as everyone set up camp for the night. The dwarves treated you so different than anybody in the Shire. You were a half breed dwarf-hobbit, and many hobbits from the Shire did not like that in the slightest, just how they rejected Took blood. Bilbo, your cousin’s cousin, was the only hobbit who treated you with any sort of kindness. The rest of them treated you like the scum of the earth. There were plenty of rumors floating across the valley that you had been a bastard product of rape and violence, but in reality, your father loved your mother. He loved her to death, and he gave his life to protect you and her from an orc raid. Your mother died of heartbreak short thereafter.

You happened to be sitting down to dinner at Bilbo’s when the dwarves arrived, delighting in running amok in their unwilling host’s household. The dwarves took a liking to you, treating you like a lady - something you weren’t used to from anyone other than Bilbo and it made you uncomfortable at first.

Now you were sitting next to the fire, listening to the spirited dwarves tell their stories as you watched Bombur cook and fiddling with the bead that hung around your neck. Bofur had given you one of his cloaks seeing as you didn’t have one, you frowned at that, but accepted his gift. Every time they treated you nicely you wanted to curl up and hide.

“Lass, can I talk to ya for a minute?” Bofur asked, holding two bowls of stew in his hands, indicating the edge of camp with a nod of his head. You stood, following him just beyond the light of the fire and out of earshot.

“Is there something wrong Bofur?” You tilted your head to the side in question.

“I think that’s something I should be asking you, Lass,” Bofur handed you the bowl with a smile, “Why do you shy away from us?”

You scratched your arm nervously, not really sure how to tell him the truth, "I - I don't really get compliments. Most people in the shire consider me the scum of the earth. Nothing more than a dirty half-breed. You guys are so nice to me, I'm not really sure how to deal with it."

"Oh, lass," Bofur set down his bowl, taking your free hand, "You're beautiful, y'know that? Those other Hobbits were wrong, I've seen you stand bravely against trolls, and mountain giants, and goblins, and orcs! You're braver and more worthy than the lot of them and if you can't see that, I'm gonna prove it to you."

"Bofur, no, you really don't-"

"Too late, I've decided." He smiled at you. "By the end of this journey, you'll see your beauty too."

"Bofur!"

"Eat up, Lass. Rest well. We have an early day tomorrow." Bofur tucked a bit of hair behind your ear and returned to the heat of the fire.

You stood next to Bofur on Erebor's wall, watching as the armies marched on the valley below. Good men, dwarves, and elves fighting orcs that wanted the mountain.

"This is wrong," you whispered to him.

"I know lass, but what can we do? He is our king." Bofur took your hand for a moment. "We have to trust that he will do the right thing."

"We can't sit by and watch innocent men fight a fight that isn't theirs."

"It's Thorin's decision. Dwalin is handling it."

You frowned. "If he chooses to hide in his hole, I will join the fight without him, and without you. I will not ask you to betray your king."

"Y/n, I know Thorin will do the right thing. Give him time."

You watched the battle with a wary eye until Thorin approached everyone with his apologies and his decision.

"Y/n," Bofur turned to you, a look in his eye that you'd rarely seen. "When we make it out of this, I want to put a braid in your hair."

Though that wasn't as romantic as he wished, you knew what he meant. He was offering you courtship.

"Only if I put one in yours." You squeezed his hand. He smiled at you and ran to follow his king into battle.

You lost Bofur on the battlefield, but you knew Thorin and followed him to Raven's Hill. You fought hard for the dwarf king, being the blade to save his life and the lives of his nephews. And on Raven's Hill, you sat tired, unsure of what had become of Bofur. God, you hoped he was alive. Every day of your long journey, he'd said a nice thing to convince you that you are beautiful and worthy of being loved and complimented. Bilbo sat next to you, tired and not quite ready to make his way back to the mountain.

"Bilbo."

"Yes."

"Bofur offered me a courtship, and I intend to take it if he's still alive."

"Are you asking for my blessing?"

"You're my cousin. You're the only family I have. Yes, I'm asking for your blessing, but I will accept his commitment with or without it." You said to him.

"Relax, he's a good man. And there's no use waiting up here. Let's go let him know you're alive." Bilbo stood, leading you back down Raven's Hill.

Bofur was pacing anxiously at the front wall of Erebor. He'd asked all the dwarves that had returned if they'd seen you and all he'd gotten was no. He'd searched the corpses and couldn't find you among them. He could only hope that you were alive.

"Bo!"

He turned at the sound of your voice, running as fast at you as you were at him.

"Oh, Amralimé, you're alive," he pulled you close to him, neither of you cared about the pain of your wounds. You held him tightly, glad to be with the one you loved. Bofur dug in his pocket, producing a bead.

"I carved this for you the night I made my promise to you. That I would make you see your beauty. You are beautiful, My Little Warrior.” He cupped your bruised cheek. He grabbed a section of your hair from behind your ear, braiding it with skillful hands. You didn’t have a courtship bead for him, and how you wished you did. What you did have was a token given to you by your mother. You slipped the bead off the string you wore.

“I know I didn’t carve it, Bo, but it’s the last thing I have of my parents. My father carved it for my mother, and I’d be glad to see you wear it.” You showed him the little bead, within it an intricately carved sunflower. Bofur smiled at you gently, taking off his hat to give you access to his hair. Carefully you braided a stand, slipping the bead on with gentle care.

He brushed his dirty thumb over your cheek, almost in disbelief that you even agreed to court him. He could’ve lost you in battle today, and silently he vowed to never lose you.

Hobbit Tags Open || Add Yourself Here ||

#bofur x reader #the hobbit x reader #finn writes #full leng #4/26/2020

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invalid-request · 3 years

Text

So, this week I got rejected at work by a guy I liked, and you know what, I actually feel pretty good.

It's kinda shocking though because this guy was CREEPILY obsessed with me. When N first got hired, it started innocently enough, just looking at me a lot and sometimes trying to give me a nod. One time I was in the break area and he sat right near me (plenty of other places to sit) but he didn't say anything. Then I started to notice he was just almost always looking at me all the time. I'd see him on my side (I don't think he accounted for peripheral vision) and when I'd look, he'd quickly look away. Three times he even dropped what he was holding, damaged a product once! 😅 After some time, he stopped looking away so quickly and let me catch him staring, and he'd hold eye contact for a moment before looking away. Like he wanted me to know that he liked me?

This went on for MONTHS AND MONTHS, him just staring at me every shift while we worked in our separate departments. Kinda lucky for him to be fixated on me of all people, because anybody else would have been incredibly creeped out. But I get fixated on people I like too, so I could totally understand. It was very flattering.

Eventually, he made friends in his own department, but instead of moving on and focusing on them, he started to spend the first half of his shift staring at me and the second half with his friends. Like, I was still priority number one for some reason. 🤷

I remember a couple times he took time off from work, which meant he wouldn't see me that week, but instead of just waiting until the next week, he actually came into the store as a customer. And of course he just happened to browse the aisle in front of my department for a while, looking over at me multiple times. One time he was at the deli, which is super far away and facing the opposite direction. But still partially within eyeline. He had to stand in a very specific spot, and he had to face completely away from the deli to stare at me. No plausible deniability at all.

As weird as it was, I'm a fucking weirdo too, and I actually really liked the attention. He made me feel wanted. I totally had feelings for him of some sort. It's weird because he's not the kind of person who would typically catch my eye (neither in terms of personality nor physical appearance), but he made me feel all sorts of warm emotions. And I was in love with the consistency; he was there day after day; every time I thought "there's no way he still likes me," he still showed up. Never abandoning me, I could always depend on him to cheer me up and remind me that at least 1 person likes me.

What I didn't understand was, why didn't he talk to me? As he started to come out of his shell, I saw that his personality was basically a social butterfly. He talked to literally everybody. Even people in other departments. But not me. I was kind of offended to be honest. Maybe he was too anxious around me specifically?

Well, he did make some efforts beyond just staring, but those efforts were few and far between. There were a couple times where he would try to give me a nod, but I had already looked away (I still had peripheral vision) and I saw him get frustrated. I changed my aesthetic a few months ago and he told me that it was fire. He initiated a few other interactions, but all just natural-seeming stuff like asking me to grab a crate for him or whatever, as if he could pretend we didn't both know he'd been staring at me for months. Maybe he was trying every "natural" way he knew to connect, but since we didn't work in the same department, there wasn't any small talk to build from.

I think he might have showed me to his dad, too. On one of the days he was at the store as a customer, he and his dad came to my department and were standing pretty close to where I was. N dared not face my direction, but his dad had no such qualms and stood facing my direction. (I just kept working, but I was noticing them in my peripheral vision.) "Is that him?" I clearly heard N's dad say not-so-quietly. N responded very quietly, and I couldn't hear the rest of their conversation.

I also think he might have told his friends about me. One day, he and his friends were talking a whole lot more than usual, and I figured out that they'd just had a party the previous night (and N wished they'd had more whiskey! 🙄). Beginning that day and for the next couple of weeks, his two closest friends started to look at me a lot, for no discernible reason. What the heck did N say when he was drunk?

One day, I kinda got fed up with it, because the whole thing was so fucking stupid. Like, okay guy, if you're not gonna talk to me then leave me alone. I don't really need somebody staring at me while I'm trying to work. When he showed up to stare at me, I paid him no acknowledgement at all. The whole day. Toward the end of our shift, I think he started to realize it wasn't a coincidence, and suddenly I couldn't go anywhere without him being there, like he'd entered desperation mode. But I still wouldn't look at him. At the very end of the night, when it came time to clock out, there was a crowd hanging out near the time clock, and he and his friends were all there. When I began to approach the machine, he nearly pushed his friends over to get to the front of the pack, right next to the machine, where I would have to see him. And he just stood there and looked at me like 🥺. To be honest, I found that kind of adorable and it won me back over. I didn't care how dumb it was anymore. Why was he giving me so much time and attention?

Eventually, I decided to stop waiting for him to talk to me, and for me to approach him instead. He might be a good person to have in my life. Since he liked me so much, he'd probably put effort into whatever kind of relationship we might develop and it could be good. Even though he wasn't really my type, that might be a good thing — abuse victims like myself tend to subconsciously gravitate toward people who are like their abusers, so maybe it was good to branch out to a type of person I wouldn't normally gravitate to.

What would I say to him, though? Definitely not some smalltalk bullshit like "how's the weather". That's performative and wouldn't really lead where I wanted. (In fact, I actually did once ask him "how's work"; the resulting exchange was barely even worth remembering.) I also didn't wanna just plainly mention the staring because he might feel embarrassed or attacked. I wanted us to get to know each other and see if there was any connection, that's what I wanted. But in-person clearly wasn't working out because of anxiety and us being in different departments, so what I ultimately landed on was this: I'd ask for his Snap, and we could text.

It was actually way fucking harder than I could've imagined, by the way. I tried week after week and kept discovering new mental hang-ups, and processing them and working through them. ("I'm not good enough", "You can't just walk up to someone and ask that!", "I'm gonna blank or say the wrong thing", "Why can't he do it instead", etc.) And even after I'd successfully convinced myself, mentally, that I should do it and that I wanted to do it, my body literally wouldn't obey. Immense anxiety bubbled in my chest and my body was just like nah. 🙅‍♂️ I tried breathing exercises and other stuff - it was difficult.

But yeah I finally, finally did it. This week, he was working on Tuesday, and he was just absolutely fucking stalking me. Within one hour I caught him staring at me three separate times, from three different vantage points. The third one was even creepy because he was off to the side, and I don't know how long he was looking; it made me kinda jump. So before I left for the day, I walked up to him with determination, overcame my nerves and managed to recite my script:

"Hey, N"

"Hey"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah"

"Do you wanna, like, talk on Snapchat?"

He sure as fuck wasn't expecting that. But he was smiling. "... yeah"

And he gave me his Snapchat. (It was an amazing feeling, by the way. Surreal. I kept expecting to wake up. I did it!)

So I don't know what the fuck happened. When I got home I added him and just sent "hey man how are you?" But he never responded. He didn't see my message because he didn't even add me back! I have no idea why.

There's just not any valid excuse. The username was correct. If he wanted to talk, he would have. I fucking handed him this on a silver platter.

So I guess he didn't want to talk? Then wtf did he want all this time, why has he been staring at me for months and months? Was he just objectifying me? That doesn't make sense—he wasn't just looking, he was trying to get my attention as well. Maybe the appeal is gone now that he feels like he has me? I don't know. It's so weird. I don't get it.

I felt pretty broken at first. This guy has been a part of my life for a while now, in his own weird way. I liked him a lot. I was really attached. I kinda had hopes that maybe we could have had something together. Now that hope is gone. I'll miss our little game.

But I think I've processed this loss in a healthy way. Now I'm mostly just relieved that that whole situation is over. It was a little much. I feel free. Rejection feels so much better than the wondering "what if". And I'm so happy and proud of myself for accomplishing something, and I hope I'll continue to use the skills I developed to approach people more often as I move forward in life.

It's gonna be weird the next time we see each other. I hope he knows he needs to leave me tf alone now. It was endearing before, when I thought he was just too nervous to talk to me, but now it would be creepy to continue. I'm a little scared of him to be honest, now that I realize I might have been wrong about his true motives. 😬 If he keeps leering at me I'll confront him, and if I have to, I can go to HR. 🤷‍♀️😕

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theoreticslut · 3 years

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Fic Review please! 📚 it’s called “Charlie’s Person Looking Friend” on AO3. It’s about Charlie Weasley going through his years of Hogwarts making friends and discovering he’s Ace/Aro and him having autism. It’s not long but it’s jam packed with heart!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22061044/chapters/52649431

First off, such a good story!! I think the title is so clever! I was honestly so confused about it at first, but after reading it it makes a lot more sense and it so cool! Titles are one of those things where it needs to be good and clever, but still make sense to the story which yours does perfectly!

Into the review - I noticed there were two chapters of it and I wasn’t completely sure if you wanted me to read both, but I did anyways so this is kinda broken down into reviews on part 1 and part 2 of it if that’s alright? Whenever you see the “Keep reading/More” just click on it! This got really long 😅

Chapter 1

For all his trouble to get his hair down to chin-level, this is where it had landed him. He was now stuck in a cold boy’s bathroom, missing potions class, with a comb buried and broken in his hair.

poor baby. I understand the struggle all too well but the way you wrote everything was so good! I definitely could understand his frustration even if I haven’t experienced it myself. I also love the way you wrote him feeling out of place! I just felt like I could understand exactly how he was feeling.

“We will fix it, and you can be on your way in no time, okay? No worries.”

this interaction with Blue was so pure 💗 it made my little heart ache and I couldn’t help but smile. I love how gentle they are with Charlie.

Charlie was always taught not to trust Slytherins. He'd heard the horror stories from Bill and his parents. But he wasn’t going to get out of this by himself. There was no way he was going to try to find Bill with that thing hanging off his hair, scraping at his neck.

While it made me sad that Charlie felt he couldn’t go to his brother, I do completely understand it. I also love that Charlie, even though apprehensive, still decided to trust Blue. I think it really goes to show just how comfortable he is with them from the very beginning.

I also really love the entire interaction/scene between Charlie and blue as they introduce him to their hair care products/accessories. I thought it was just so easy-going and sweet and really captured what it’s like when you’re making a new friend, especially one that you already feel comfortable with.

Charlie blinked, wondering why he was telling Blue all of this and why it felt so easy. Surely he should be telling Bill all of this? Writing to his parents? It what they said to do if he had a problem. He had no idea why telling Blue felt more okay.

I loved this part! It made me so happy that Charlie was opening up to someone and feeling comfortable about it. I also really liked how you wrote the confusion it causes too. I’ve definitely experienced talking to someone new and just feeling like I could talk to them about anything and it would be fine but wondering why it was so easy. You would think it would be easier to tell people you know and trust, but that’s not always the case and you just got it down perfectly.

“You seem to not have enough hair for a proper braid right now, but I could try to get those bangs out of your face for a bit,” Blue said, holding up the other dragon clips.

“My family was never big on braids having only one girl.”

“Oh nonsense, as long as the hair is well, long, braids can be worn by anybody. Come on I will teach you!”

Ugh!! I loved this bit of interaction so much! I love that Blue gives Charlie the dragon hair clips, I love that blue teaches Charlie how to braid, and I love that Charlie is just so excited about it all! It just makes me so happy all around ☺️💗

“I was out makin' a friend” Charlie explained, “it’s a person-looking one this time Bill, I promise. Mum told me to make those while I was here.”

Charlie baby 💗 you’re too cute and pure! I love this statement so much, you have no idea! I really just don’t know how else to say it except that I love it! It’s just perfect for the story and said at just the right time. It’s just a really great line!

Charlie felt marginally worse after talking with Bill than after talking to Blue. He never liked being scolded, and it seemed to bother him more than it ever did Bill or Percy.

🥺 ; Charlie deserves to be happy and not feel so terrible for just doing what he pleases. He never purposefully does anything wrong, nor does he really do anything wrong, and yet he’s just constantly feeling like he’s done something wrong and it’s so unfair to him.

One of his roommates Ben Copper...

is this inspired by hogwarts mystery by any chance? That’s the only place I’ve ever seen the name Ben copper and ngl it made me excited when I read that!! Even though he’s scared of a lot I feel like he’s such an amazing character!! If it’s not just ignore this bit!

“You’re right, I’m sorry. That would be awful. Your boots are really cool.” He said smiling down at her black leather boots, little bracelet charms attached to the laces which Charlie sat down to touch.

“Thanks, I like your clips, very punk rock.”

“Really? Cool! I liked them for the dragons, but my brother said they were kinda girly.”

“Punk rock can be girly too, but I think they suit you just fine.” She said, grinning at him. Charlie grinned back, sitting on the floor next to the pink-haired Hufflepuff.

lil excited Charlie is back and I am in love! Something about him getting excited and intrigued over the littlest things just makes me so happy! Not to mention how awesome Tonks is and how easily Charlie decides he wants to be friends with her as well! I’m very happy for Charlie that he’s making friends!!

But if Charlie's new friend was Ted and Andromeda Tonks' daughter, Bill guessed he had nothing to worry about.

===

Bill had something to worry about.

This made me chuckle. I love when people always think everything is fine and then it’s not fine. I also just thought it was written really cute 💗

...but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Charlie looked so happy. Bill never realized how unhappy he was before this friendship started. So Bill stopped trying to scold him, stopped trying to take care of Charlie how he thought he should.

love that bill is realizing he doesn’t have to be a full-in parent for Charlie anymore!! I know that’s the default setting when you’re the oldest child, but it comes to a point where you just need to be an older sibling instead of a parent and I’m glad Bill is finally doing that!!

Charlie also talked to Bill more, telling him in a big, happy rant what Tonks and he did that day.

Yay!! Sibling relationship healing a little! 💗

He didn’t talk about how his little makeovers happened, but those days Charlie was happiest.

awee Bill is noticing (sort of) what makes his brother happy and is accepting of it ☺️💗 I love that so much!! I love that Charlie is happier and finding himself and I love that Bill is just letting him figure it out for himself!

Bill was usually anything but unobservant so it surprised him he had taken so long to realize any of this. After that small revelation Bill started to pay attention to anything and everything about Charlie. Bill worried if he missed what made Charlie so happy aside from the obvious—dragons— what else could he have missed over the years of trying to wrangle all of his other siblings?

again, I completely understand what it’s like being an older sibling but Bill is doing such a good job at the moment!! Charlie definitely just needs someone to be there and give him attention and not only does he have Blue, but now he’s got his brother doing it too and I think that’s amazing!!

Charlie’s fear wasn’t for nothing. Going home for Christmas break only solidified his need for Blue and their space together. He was glad to be home, but the way he felt with Blue, and even Tonks and now Bill, was a stark difference from how he felt at the Burrow. He didn’t want to feel this way.

It makes me sad that Charlie doesn’t feel his best at home, but I know not everyone does. I just love how you’ve written it to make it so well known. I also love the fact that Charlie at least had one place he’s comfortable, even though it’s the people he keeps company with that make it comfortable.

“Mum” Charlie whined “it’s not like that. Her name is Tonks, and she’s my friend.”

“I’m sure she’s just a friend now, but we’ll see how you feel when you get older, huh?”

“There’s nothin' ‘just’ about it!” Charlie was raising his voice now, clearly angry. “She’s my friend. She’s important to me. Why do you act like friends don’t matter as much?”

such a well written section!! I love the writing and I love the conversation. It’s relatable yet powerful all at the same time. My family used to tease me all the time (still do a bit) whenever I made friends with a guy and we were close. It’s beyond frustrating and it just embarrassed me when there’s no need for it. So I love how you managed to get that across in the story so well!!

“Oh, Charlie” Bill sighed, closing the door slowly so it didn’t squeak too much.

“It’s not fair!” The little blanket lump said, the sound of little feet and fists repeatedly banging harshly against the wood floor. “It’s MY hair! What’s so bad about it?!”

“There’s nothin' bad about it,” Bill said, crouching next to Charlie and snuggling him so he didn't hurt his hands. “Mum just thinks certain ways about what boy’s hair should look like is all.”

whether Bill came looking for Charlie because he was actually worried and wanted to see how he was or if he just did so because he felt he had to being the older brother doesn’t really matter. I love that Bill was so caring of Charlie either way. I love that he’s so physically affectionate with him to comfort him. I also like how he tries to explain their mother’s side (not saying it’s right) but I just like that he’s not taking sides per se, just explaining to Charlie that it isn’t him that’s the problem. It’s just their mother’s mindset.

“You know what? We can pack that hair growth potion dad has. The one he used when Fred blew his eyebrows off.”

“Really?” Charlie gasped, looking up at Bill. He could see little hair locks of what was left of Charlie’s bangs popping out of his bundle. Bill held out his hands and Charlie crawled in his lap, blankets coming with.

“Yes, really,” Bill said rubbing his back. Charlie's little arms holding onto Bill for dear life.

ugh brotherly love 💗 this makes me so happy. I think it’s so well written and the imagery is just perfection!!

“And you know what? I’ll grow my hair out too. She’ll have to reckon with the both of us.”

yay Bill!! Such a good brother standing up beside your younger brother for something that makes him happy. Empower him and make him feel confident in who he is and what he likes! 💗💗

He didn’t fully understand Charlie, but Bill was starting to realize he didn’t have to. All he had to do was be there and let Charlie be Charlie.

Ugh!! This was so lovely! I just love how you wrote it. How even though he doesn’t fully understand he doesn’t have to. That’s not the point in any of it. Just being accepting and supportive is all that is needed. I feel like more people need to realize that. It doesn’t matter what you think about someone else or if you understand them. You aren’t them, are you? Just be respectful and try to be accepting please.

Chapter 2

Bill also started to get Charlie beauty related things for Christmas and his birthday.

awee yay!! ☺️💗💗

Charlie’s face when he opened Bill’s present, opened last at Bill`s request, made the tedious muggle money exchange and trip all the more worth it.

I love gift-giving! This completely described why too! Seeing the other person smile is just so worth it!!

Bill let out an ‘ouff’ as Charlie hugged him, snuggling into his chest.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Charlie squealed, “Bill! You’re the best!”

Bill chuckled, surprised at the hug as Charlie didn’t like contact often.

Bill is getting so much better with Charlie and it makes me so happy!! He’s standing up for him, giving him his attention, and he’s actually putting forth effort into their relationship!! All of it just makes my heart so happy! I honestly smiled so much as I read this bit!

Tonks and Blue also gave Charlie Christmas presents that year.

I don’t want to keep quoting so much of your story so the description will just be really long on this one; 1st - it makes me soooo happy that Charlie has two good friends now!! He’s happy and can share himself with people and it’s just absolutely amazing!! 2nd - both of them had such thoughtful gifts!!! I thought it was amazing and each was so them! Like it relates to their friendship with Charlie instead of being just some standard, “we’re friends and I love you” gift.

He watched carefully as Blue opened his gift to them. They pulled out the necklace Charlie had made, the matching earrings sitting next to it.

“The stones are from the stream near my house,” Charlie said.

“You made these?” Blue gasped and looked at the jewelry with a new reverence.

Charlie you sweet boy 💗 I think you just made Blue’s day with your gift and I couldn’t be happier. I love that he handmade the jewelry for them and put so much thought into it. It really shows how good of friends they are and it’s just so so so good!! Along with that, I LOVE blue’s rant after Charlie is dissing his gift to them because it’s “not nearly as expensive” like I’m so glad they told Charlie how it is and how the price doesn’t matter but the thought of it does!! Just so well-written! 💗💗💗

“You’re my best friend Charlie.” They felt Charlie relax and chuckled, tilting his chin up. “No romance here. I am still aromantic asexual after all.”

I LOVE that you went into detail about what aromatic and asexual mean!! I feel like the way you did so was easy to understand and how it was just so casual. I hate to say that I’m not fully clear on everything regarding LGTBQ+ but reading the way you wrote this explanation helped A LOT and I didn’t feel dumb or embarrassed for not completely knowing it. So thank you for doing that!! I appreciate it so much and again it is just really well written!!

“They worked at themselves a lot. They were not always the best listeners, but they had kids and they forced themselves to learn to listen, be patient, and just be there. But I had to do work on my part too. If something was bothering me I told them. I had to realize they were humans too, and humans can be wrong. That was my part: telling them when I had an issue. It was their part to listen, and then try to do something about it together.

& this part!! Thank you for this! I love that you included it’s a two way street to understanding and acceptance. You can’t just expect people to know everything right away regardless of the topic and I like how you put it; My part is to say when I had an issue(but still realizing that they’re humans too), their part is to listen and then try to do something. I just really love how you put all of this in there. That it is an effort on both parties.

“I said my mum’s and I did research together when I came out right? Well, they do not bug around when researching something to do with their kids. I have whole books on this kind of stuff. I am a walking encyclopedia at this point.”

“Books sound nice. Do you think I could borrow them?”

I love this. I love it so much. I love the dynamic between Charlie and blue, I love how you’ve written everything, I love all the explaining you do. I just love this.

Overall, I am in love with this story. Thank you so much for requesting it to me. I’m not normally on ao3 (because I’m just very confused by it’s set up) but I’m very glad I got to read this!!

Like I said, I love how you explain everything. It’s clear enough to understand but it’s also not forced like what I usually see or hear. I like that you just state it as it is. I also love that the tone you seem to carry is that all you can do is educate others and hope they learn. I’m really not trying to be rude, but it seems like any time I’ve talked to anyone LGTBQ+ they expect me to know everything about them right off which is really annoying because I don’t even know everything about myself yet. So I really really like that you don’t seem angry or upset that people don’t necessarily know everything. It just really nice to have it explained calmly and not in a tone of judgement.

While there are times when the way you’ve written things (more like the descriptions/imagery/background info) is a little confusing, it’s not to the point where I can’t figure out what you’re saying. I feel like every writer has times where we know what we’re saying but we just can’t get it across clearly. I’m also just a bit tired while reading this so it could just very well be my own head not comprehending.

Either way, this was an amazing story!! Thank you again for requesting it to me ☺️ I love the way you’ve written everything and how you explain things well. I also like that it focuses on Charlie and has Bill as the main sibling in it because I don’t think I’ve ever really seen anything with Charlie besides being a very small part of it. It’s upsetting because he is one of their siblings. even though he’s in Romania, you can still write about him.

Anyways, I’ll stop rambling now. I really like this fic and I’m really glad you sent it to me! Thank you again ☺️💗

#harry potter #fic review #harry potter fic review #charlie weasley #a03 #theweasleyslut’s end of the year party #send me asks #lets have some fun

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lanaisnotwool · 4 years

Video

youtube

417 Creating Karmic Debt

http://moneyripples.com/2020/08/20/417-creating-karmic-debt/

What is the number one thing that pulled Chris Miles through his hard times in the last recession?

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Is Karma instant?

Trolls beware! This episode will be hard on you. Learn and understand the concept of Karmic debt by watching this 22-minute video.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/07/15/417--creating-karmic-debt

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Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Welcome you out for a wonderful show. A show that is for you and it’s about you. Those of you that work so hard for your money and you’re ready for your money to start working harder for you. Now! So you work because you want to, not because you have to. You want to be able to have that freedom. That cash flow. That prosperity. Today! Not 30 or 40 gazillion years from now, but right now! So you have that life of comfort and ease and freedom. So you can be with those that you love. Doing what you love. Whenever you want. But guys, it’s so much more than just being able to have a lot of money, right? This is about how you can go about blessing lives because that’s a rippler, you can create a ripple effect through the lives of others, through your own prosperity. Through your abundance. Through your good example. Through your talents and gifts and everything you can bring the world and money is just a magnifier of your soul.

And that is exactly why I’m so proud to be one of those Ripplers with you guys today. Thank you for allowing me to teach through you, to be able to share the knowledge and the things that I’ve gained experiences from just a few things. I haven’t learned everything in the world, but I appreciate you guys allowing me to do that. You’re sharing it with other people and allowing this message to grow and expand and bless more lives. And that’s because of you guys. So thank you so much for doing that.

Here’s a reminder. Check out our website, MoneyRipples.com. There’s great blogs on there, including videos of these very podcast you’re listening to right now. So definitely go and check those out.

And so today I’ve had a topic that I’ve kind of reserved for when it felt to be the right time. And I feel like now that time, because I feel now is the time to prepare, to gear up to really truly understand those real eternal, really those laws and principles of prosperity, right? Those laws of abundance. And this is a big one. In fact, this was one that I relied on so much during the last recession. When I was broke. When I was over a million dollars in debt. That this was one of the main things that I felt pulled me through. This is the one thing that kept encouraging me. It’s one of the main things that actually I believe truly was able for me to make a lot more money because I understood this concept, right? And there’s lots of different ways that people would call this. I’m going to refer to this as Karmic Debt.

You know, when people talk about karma, you know, like what you put out comes back to you, right? This is about creating debt, like creating good karma to come back to you. By creating good karma, good karma comes back. So creating this karmic debt, because there is a lag effect between the good things that you do that you put out in the world and the results and the rewards you get back. This is why people say, why bad things happen to good people? Wait. The story ain’t over yet. You know, if you keep waiting, it happens. Some people might talk about this as the law of the harvest, right? You don’t talk about like things in the Bible. They talk about when you sow it. And when you sow seeds and you plant, do you have to nurture it and water it and let it grow. Right? Same kind of concept, right? If you want to give or if you want to receive, you’ve got to give. See I came to get it right. I have to keep giving first. Cause that is the first thing. But if you want to receive something, you’ve got to give first.

And so I really want to go into this because I truly believe, especially when people struggle, this is when the impurities, so to speak, bubble out of you, right? It’s like, as if things are forced out of you. Then even the worst parts of you, I mean, have you noticed, especially lately where you’re under stress, some of the less attractive parts of you come out, right? You know, for me, I mean, it was a hot day and they’re telling you to wear masks and I’m going to a grocery store. I’m a grump! You do not want to say hi to me. I mean, maybe it would help. But no, it’s like, I get really grumpy and angry and I have to work on that, you know, and that kind of stuff. And we all have those little trigger moments and those things that we have, right?

By the way, if you want to have good things come to you, you got to put out good things. I hope that none of you, if you call yourself a Rippler, one thing for sure is you cannot be the type of person that I hear about trolling online. If you’re one of those people that troll people may say, Oh, I’m not a troll. I’m just trying to bring up truth. But if you’re out there criticizing, blaming, you’re ripping apart people. Try to find every little fault and every little exception to somebody’s little statement that they make, because someone doesn’t want to write a 5 million paragraph page, you know, on their social media. And you’re the one that’s to nitpick it and pull it out. Shame on you! Shame on you! For being that kind of person. If that’s what this kind of world has turned you into, I don’t even want to see you once you become later on with the world. It can get worse, right?

That’s a thing like guys, if this is you, I ask you right now. I beg you to cut it out, to actually start to be real abundant, prosperous people. Good people. Naturals. And I know it’s a minority, but those are the people that scream the loudest. Aren’t they? And I’m not saying any particular experience. I’m not pointing anybody out. So if you think it’s you, because I’m saying, Oh, Chris knows me. He’s pointing me out. I’m not thinking of you, but I have seen a lot more. And I’m sure you have too. A lot more negativity out there now. If you want something truly abundant and positive in your life, stop throwing out negative crap. Okay? Like that cannot exist. And there’s people that I swear. I don’t know how they get so much time. And maybe it’s because they’ve been laid off or furloughed or whatever, or they just don’t have business going on. But I’m telling you, there’s way more productive things you could be doing through time than going and criticizing people online. You know, just because you can hide behind your little computer and be a little coward. That is not the case.

So if you want this karmic debt to work for you, that is not what you do. Okay. That was my little soap box on that part. But again, guys, if you say I’m trying to correct people and create effect. No one cares about your corrections! Let’s be honest. Now you might opt to give people some options, right? But nobody cares about your freaking opinion that much. You know, nobody does except for you. You know? And so, I deal with it all the time. Don’t you think me, who’s the guy that’s trying to get financial advice. There’s plenty of bad advice out there. Heck, you’ve heard me talk about Dave Ramsey, but you’ve also heard me compliment Dave Ramsey too. I could go off. If I were like the people today online or to be that kind of person. I would be the person that say like, Oh, Dave’s a fricking moron! He’s an idiot! He’s totally out of touch with reality! Yeah. He’s all about paying off debt, but nobody gets rich off that!

I could totally make statements like that. Right? And especially they’re blanket statements. It’s funny how people will make blanket statements, but then they’ll criticize people for making blanket statements. The hypocrisy in the world is crazy. Guys. You don’t see me doing that, right? Now, there’s been times I have in my life. And especially when I was younger, that was dumb. Okay. I like to think that I learned some lessons along the way. Guys. He’s awesome. He’s a great guy. He does some great, good in the world. Now. It’s not the advice I would give. It’s not the advice I think is good for most people, especially those of you that are listening. If you’re looking for a much, the next step, if you’re going beyond remedial finances, right?

He’s great for remedial finances. Many of you though that are listening to his show, are beyond that. You’re already looking for answers that are outside the box. Cool. He’s got his purpose. I’ve got mine, right? So anyways, there’s a plenty of room in this world for us to be good to each other. And I highly recommend that if anything, you want to see more money coming in your life and less scarcity, be an abundant person. Act as an abundant person. Do things that create more abundance that foster it.

So let me give you an example. So when I was going through those rough times back in the last recession, right. You know, I knew that principals would govern, like I was losing faith a little bit, right. Because I was struggling. I was like, man, it seems like at first it seemed like everything I touched turned to gold and now nothing’s working. It seemed like everything was going wrong. Right? And I started to put a lot of focus on that. I started getting very bitter myself. You know, I remember I was complaining. I was fault-finding. Blaming. You just, you know, backbiting. You know, whatever you want to call it. Gossiping. You know, I had plenty of time on my hands and I was one of the blame and whine about it. And just try to talk it all out and just vent. Here’s the thing. It’s one thing to vent, you know, and just let it out and then go out and be productive. It’s another thing to just whine and complain and do nothing. And except for whine and complain the next day and the next day.

And I remember this was in 2009. So remember 2007 towards the latter half of that year, I still have writing on the walls getting desperate. You know, my finances start to fall apart. 2008 I was basically making no payments or a lot of late payments, right? Or, you know, going late on a lot of things. I was in the foreclosure process. And I remember by April, 2009, this was right before my fourth child was born my third son. And that’s when the knock came on the door and the person said, Hey, I just bought your house at the courthouse a half hour ago. When can you get out? I want to move. I bought this house for my sister. I want to move her in. And of course I was like, Oh my goodness, we’re about to have a baby in the next week or so. So can we pay rent, stay in here for a little bit. And he agreed and we paid about $2,000 to stay in the house for two more weeks.

You know. Anything to try to keep them off our back. So anyways, we did that. Had the baby. And of course we’re able to move out, find a place. All well. You know, my wife has, at the time, it was barely healing from having our child. And it was a hard, hard time. And I’m telling you, I was pretty embittered. I mean, it’s part of me was at least relieved that at least I knew what was happening because every month there was that threat of foreclosure. But because we’re trying to short sell the house, they would delay it. Right? And we, and by the way, we had short sale offers and the bank wouldn’t take it. They foreclosed on our house. $170,000 less than the offers we had for the short sale. I mean, talk about how wrong that is. I mean, that doesn’t definitely help my credit, you know, at that time now it’s gone in the past, but that time that was not a good thing for me.

You know, I was like, okay, now my credit is shot. I just lost my home and everything, you know, everything, a part of it, we just downsized into a house that was about, you know, 35% 40% of the space we were used to, you know, and it was a tough time. And I wanted to moan and complain and blame and everything else. In fact, my wife at that time did the same thing. She was trying to blame other people. It got to the point where I realized I’m the only one to blame here. Right? And of course we were losing patience. Cause we had now been going through this for nearly two years, you know, from the time that we started realize things are getting tight.

So after two years of struggle, and I know some of you guys can relate to this. Two years of struggle, it could definitely wear on you, right? Especially when you had all this faith and this hope, and then it seemed like it was just dashed to pieces. But you know, the great thing is that it got me to the right place.

One, it got me to reducing my expenses drastically over that period of time. Let me to learn to be a better steward of my money and tracking it and watching it and being careful with it. And looking for ways to create value for people. And that’s what I mean about karmic debt, right? Is that, I knew that if I want big results to come, that I got to give big. And so when I was looking at all this, I was thinking, okay, well I know these principles work. I know the principles by, so you’ve gotta be in an abundant mindset, right? When you’re in scarcity, this thing doesn’t work.

You gotta be a place of abundance. What does that mean? That means having faith, that when you apply principles, they work. You know, just like dollars full of value when you create value for people, even if you don’t see the money right away, there’s something that happens. You know, I’ve had people before telling me, even during the last recession that say, Chris, I’m creating lots of value for my employer and they’re not recognizing it. I said, fine, great. Now, granted, you still have to ask for things that you want, right? And you can do that with confidence, knowing that you went the extra mile. I had a client that same time that did the same thing. He kept getting raises because he kept creating huge value. That was his whole focus. Even after you get the next raise, he kept doing it again. And they couldn’t deny it because they knew if they didn’t hold on to someone like he was actually a creator, not a consumer.

You understand that most people, when they go to work, they are just there to consume. They create as little as possible to just get paid. So really most people will just create as little as possible in their job. So they don’t get fired. Isn’t that the truth they just try to do. What’s minimally required of them. It’s like, what’s the minimum requirement I have to do just get an A in my class just to get an A- even, right? That’s kinda what people treat life like. But when you go the extra mile, when you turn into something greater, when you go and apply weight in a way that it shows good true character. Especially when it’s tough times. That’s when the real blessings, the real results are to happen.

And I remember, for me, like I switched something like it was about June or July of 2009. I remember seeing a guy in my office. Guy that we were working with, you know, the main partner. And I could tell, even though it wasn’t really on his face, I could just sense that he was desperate. He was a little bit discouraged. And I realized I was part of the problem. I was bringing negative energy into his space. And I’m like, well, how can he produce more if I’m bringing negative energy into his space? So I made a decision that moment. I said, I’m going to switch it. I’m actually going to have, I’m going to focus on the positive. And I remember reading the book, Never Give Up, by Donald Trump. One of his more humble books, right. That says a lot. So anyways, in that book, he talked about how you’d focus on the one positive thing. Even if there was 20 negative things, you focus on the one positive. So I said, I’m going to do that.

Now it’s more than just being optimistic or being false. Right. I wouldn’t be disingenuous with my optimism. I would find something that was true. That was really true. You know, even meant I’m breathing today. Right. I would find something that was true. I would make up crap. Like, I’m so grateful for this when there’s no reality that. Now there’s something to be said about declaring something that’s not there. That doesn’t seem to be real yet. It might just be in her mind and that’s fine. But you can be, you can find ways to make an honest statement about it, right? I mean, say for example that, someone says like, Hey, like I’m not financially free yet. I don’t have all the passive income I need. You can just say, Hey, I’m on my way. Like I’m progressing towards that goal.

That’s awesome. And focusing on the progression versus where you’re not is huge. It’s huge. And where do you put that focus? And so, you know, they gotta have that level of abundance mentality that’s going with this. For this karmic debt to work. Now, as you’re doing that, it actually makes it easier. And it’s easier to keep stay motivated to keep creating value. And when I’ve had people that said, well, I’m creating value for this employer, it’s not working. Well. Okay. Well guess what, inevitably, the universe has to work in your favor, even if it means that someone else recognizes your hard work and offers you more money. And by the way, that’s happened so many stinking times to clients of mine and friends and people like that when they actually do this consistently and persistently over time. And so that’s what happens is you start to see this really work. And remember this for me was the key.

So that summer of 2009, I’m trying to have a more optimistic attitude. I’m just going, creating value. Sometimes I’m not getting paid for that value, but I said, it doesn’t matter, I’d keep creating it. I’m going to keep being in the right place, doing the right things the right time. And here’s, it’s kind of like, you know, my church, there’s a slogan that says, do what is right and let the consequence follow, right? It’s basically like, Hey, choose the right, do the right things. And then let the cards fall where they may. And usually those cards fall in your favor. That’s the thing.

And I remember it got to August, right? August, 2009. This is just before things turned around for me. And I remember thinking, you know what? I remember, I was praying to God. I said, you know, I know this works. I know these are true principles. I haven’t seen the fruit of it yet, but I know that I’ve been watering this tree. I’ve been planting it. I’ve been nurturing it and doing everything that’s needed for, to bear fruit. I just know that the fruit isn’t here yet. And here’s the thing I said, I got to this place of surrender. And I said, you know what? Even if it, whether it happens next week or this takes 20 years, regardless, I will keep creating value. I will keep building this karmic debt in my favor because I know inevitably the dam has to burst.

And I actually got encouraged by that. I was like, man, the more I create here, the more there’s going to be a blessing on the other side. The harder the pain, the more that there has to be, that polarity, right. There has to be something reverse of that. You know, Napoleon Hill in the book, Think and Grow Rich. Talks about with the seed of every adverse, with every adversity is the seed of an equal or greater opportunity. So think about that. With every adversity, with every negative thing you might have, there’s a seed of an equal or greater opportunity. I’ve also seen this be true. When you go the extra mile, you go the extra mile, there’s an amplification aspect that happens. It’s something that amplifies your results. You know, not just two fold, sometimes be ten fold of actual effort you put in, but many people don’t go quite that far.

They just get stuck. They just do the bare minimum because that’s all they feel they can handle. Guys when you go the extra mile and you start to find ways to serve people and do more, it comes back. And I can attest to that. That was August. I relent. I kind of got that place of surrender. I remember I had a huge fight with my ex my wife at that time, right? My ex wife now, had a huge fight with her. And she’s like, well, when’s this going to end? Like, I’m tired of this. And I’m like, Hey, there’s gonna be a day. I said, I told you so. That this is working. I know it. I feel it deep down. I feel it true. And I’m wondering if you guys had that feeling too, where you just know something’s going to work out. You just haven’t seen the results yet.

Well, that’s what I did, man. September, the dam started to burst just the next month. By October, I realized we’re good. We’re in a good place. Now things are really happening. By the way that happened because one, the person that was projecting negativity on. When I stopped that, allowing him to be abundant and do his thing, he had key connections. So he brought in these key people, especially in the chiropractic and dental communities, he brought them in. And the cool thing is over that period of time, I started honing my craft and getting better and better and more resourceful about finding cash, finding money. And boom! I helped them find cash and they’re raving fans and they’re centers of influence. And they start telling everybody else. And then the whole damn burst open so that by October I’m like, okay, money is flooding in.

I’ve been waiting for this for two years. And here it is. And then by just a few months later, by December and into January, I’m like, I gotta hire more coaches. I can’t handle it all. Like even by one or two, I couldn’t. It was just too much. And so I started going to train more coaches, you know. Same kind of thing that I felt lately. Although I don’t feel like it’s like this two month dam burst or anything like that. I felt that pole. That’s why last year I started late, late last year, I started like training other advisors and other people to back me up because I know that I can’t do it all. And for this ripple effect to become bigger and it impact your lives better. It’s gotta be that way. And so again, it’s about creating that upfront work. You know, that time and energy, so many people will stop it.

They won’t consistently and persistently do it because they think, Oh, it’s not working. And they stop. Trust me. If you trust in this one principle of karmic debt saying, I’m going to build up that debt so much that whether you believe in God or the universe or whatever it has to pay you back. And it has to pay you back with interest. That guys, that is the cool thing about this. So I challenge you. First be in an abundant state of mind, you know, don’t be the troll online. Don’t be the person that’s thrown out negativity, do something different. Don’t, turn off the fricking news. You know, turn off the world. The voice of the world even means you have to disconnect a little bit, do it. Get into a peaceful place. I think right now the trends should be heading more towards spirituality and focusing on your mind and quieting instilling the mind.

Because right now there’s chaos in the world. You have to have peace and abundance in a chaotic world right now. Focus on that. Start creating massive value in the world in whatever way you want to. And by the way, do it even in places that don’t pay you money. The best way to build a karmic debt is find ways to serve people that doesn’t necessarily pay. You just do the right thing and watch what will happen. It’s incredible. Not only will you feel better, but you will attract more. You will attract opportunities. People say, how are you doing this? You must be lucky. You must have some sort of magic or know something or know somebody that I don’t. The truth is guys. It’s not magic. It’s been around since the beginning of time.

People have talked about it, but right now there’s so much noise in the world. They’re forgetting real core, true principles that create massive prosperity. And if you want to even create passive income from the strategic side, you create massive prosperity. You start creating massive income now. Don’t you think you’ll hit passive income faster? I can assure you that is definitely 100% of the case. I am living proof of that guys.

So anyways, that is my advice for you guys. Create that karmic debt. Create massive amounts of debt. This is the debt that you would love and want to eat every day. So create that massive debt in your life. Make karma, work in your favor. Make it a wonderful and prosperous week and a very highly karmic debt week. And we’ll see you later.

#Anti-financial Advisor #Cash flow #Cash flow Expert #Debts #Entrepreneur #Financial Freedom #Money Ripples

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psychedelic-ink · 4 years

Text

Feelings in the wind(by lunna-star-8)

I was bored.

I was bored out of my mind!

Despite my injuries, my body was itching to do something, anything that felt remotely productive but I had promised Law that I’d be careful so my options were very limited. Very.

I sighed and leaned my head on the tree I was sitting against, looking around, everyone seemed bored too as they lied around the small patch of grass that Hancock and her warriors had reserved for us. I could tell that most of them were itching to get onto forbidden grounds and just go check out the village, consequences be damned, but Law was sitting by the opening that lead deeper into the island and let’s just say that every time one of his men stepped too close, he’d… How do I put this kindly…? Dissuade them? Yeah… Dissuade them by glaring at them in a way that made them regret all their life choices that lead them to that look.

I chuckled to myself, taking my eyes off the pirates and looking at my hands. What could I work on…? My power, maybe? What could I change? I could improve control, I guess? Air wasn’t the easiest of elements, it demanded freedom and free reign over the skies, so if you tried to control it, it fought back.

An idea struck me “Thanks Sabo.” And I rush over to the grouchy captain that’s eyeing another of his pirates like a leopard ready to pounce “Law!” I call out and he raises me an eyebrow, I can tell that he’s bracing himself for whatever terrible idea I just had, but I don’t give him time to speak up “Do you have some spare sheets of paper?”

He eyes me for a minute and I try to give him my best lost kitty look “Why…?”

“C’mon! Please! Please!” I insist “If anything, I’ll ask Hancock to get you some more later, yeah? Please!”

He sighs, seemingly too tired for my antics – he probably had a bad night again “My office, my desk, bottom drawer on the right. Use whatever you want.”

I basically jump to my feet calling out a “Thank you!” as I dash to the submarine.

“What are you doing, Sabo?” I ask as I peek over his shoulder.

“Origami.” He replies smiling “An old man at the Terminal showed me how to do it a while back.”

I nod even though he can’t see me “It looks cool!” I watch his fingers folding the paper over and over and over again and before I know it “It’s a bird!”

He laughs “It’s a crane.” I get off his back and stand by the table. My brother hands me the bird and I remember how awesome I thought that was “Why don’t you try making it float?”

My enthusiasm fizzed out “Last time I tried anything like that, I hit Ace over the head with his own pipe. He was furious.”

Sabo laughed again “C’mon, it’s just us.” He gestured around, Ace had gone hunting for dinner and Luffy had ran straight after him much to our oldest brother’s annoyance. I was still in bed rest after my little stunt with the tiger and Sabo had stayed to look after me “Plus, it’s paper it’s not like you can do much damage with it, right?” I wasn’t convinced “Tell you what, if you can make it float around the room, I’ll teach you how to make one.”

I basically jumped in the air and my tiger ears with me “Really?!”

He nodded “I wouldn’t lie to my little sister, would I?”

I grabbed a small stack of papers and ran back outside, sitting beside Law and starting to fold the paper in my hands. I could tell my tail had slipped out, I felt it swinging but I didn’t care, I wasn’t sure if it was for the opportunity of actually having something to do or for the memory but it was a nice feeling. I didn’t even notice Law eyeing me suspiciously as I stacked up origami cranes on the side.

When I folded the last sheet of paper, I got up and took a deep breath feeling the air around me. I’m not a Logia, I can’t just make wind but I can control the air around me, shifting it in my grasp and bend it to my needs. I let the breath out and started to shape the air so it would lift the cranes up in the air, with little to no effort I raised my arms into the air and had them spiralling into the sky, once I got every single one of them off the floor I moved my arms down and with my right arm directed the cranes to fly over the bored crew. My control was wonky, some of them flew backwards or even upside down, I tried to adjust it by moving my fingers but it didn’t seem to do anything. Still, I kept it up, by the time I noticed, I had an audience – the crew had turned from their conversations to watch what I was doing and some of them applauded when I made the cranes flip around in the air in an attempt to control them.

Most of my tries to control the cranes were pointless, some of the even fell from my hold, the wind refused to listen to me more than it absolutely needed to, still, the Heart Pirates were loving it and it was nice to feel useful in some way again. I brought the remaining cranes back to me and got such a warm reaction out of the crew that I even bowed like a real performer, even Law grumbled out a “Nice trick” kind of comment, that seemed like a compliment…? I think? Shachi and Penguin were the most excited ones, by far! They ran over to me with stars in their eyes and speaking all over each other “She can’t understand you if you both say different things at the same time, idiots…” Law grumbled, still in the same position.

Penguin was the first I was able to understand “You can make things fly?!”

I nodded “Yeah…?”

“I thought you were a Zoan type.” Came Bepo’s kind voice from beside Law.

I turned to him and nodded “Mythical Zoan type, actually.” I explained “I ate the Neko-Neko no mi: Byako no Tora model. Byako is the mythical guardian tiger of the Eastern winds, so I get this extra trick.” I caught Law’s golden eyes on me, over that damn smirk he did, damn him, not even tired “What?”

He shrugged “Cat-Cat, huh?”

I narrowed my eyes at him “Tiger. Tiger! Do you miss that bit on purpose?”

“Whatever you say, scardy cat.” And his eyes were once again hidden under his hat.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a very puncheable face?”

He tilted his head but he was still smirking “Not in those exact words, but I guess the answer is still a yes.”

“Mythical Zoan types are super rare, aren’t they?” Bepo spoke up again before I could say anything else to Law, I shrugged at him though.

“I have… No idea?” I replied “I mean, it’s not like I’ve seen anybody with powers like mine though…”

I heard Law sigh like I was a child that needed to have the same thing explained to them a thousand times over, I naturally glared at him waiting for his ‘wisdom’ “Whitebeard’s First Division Commander has a mythical type power.” He said “A phoenix if memory serves me.”

I remembered the blue flaming bird in the war “I swear, his head looks like a pineapple!” Ace had said with a big smile on his face “Marco’s a cool guy though. If you ever meet him, don’t you dare say I said that!” “Why? What are you gonna do, tough guy?” “I might grab a big fluffy spider and put it over your sheets while you’re sleeping.” “C’mon! That’s not fair!” “Hence, I’m being a great brother and warning you beforehand.” “Mean bastard…” “Ah! Language, shorty!” “Who do you think I learned it from?!”

“That’s not important!” I didn’t realize I had sunk into my own head until Shachi’s voice pulled me back to the present. Law’s clinical gaze was straight on me despite the fact that the others didn’t seem to have noticed. I looked back at Shachi that was still beyond excited like Penguin “If you can make stuff fly, you can make people fly too, right?!”

I nodded again “Yeah—”

“MAKE US FLY!” they asked with stars in their eyes before I had a chance to say anything else, making me laugh “Oh! Please, please, PLEASE!”

“Sure.” I smiled “One at a time though.” Didn’t want to a) over do it and b) accidentally drop one in the ocean.

They played rock-paper-scissors for it and Penguin would be the first one in the air. Asked me to wait before he ran to the sub and came back out with a… towel? He came back out with a towel tied around his neck that made it look like a cape – an image of Luffy smiling like a kid crossed my mind as Penguin stood there smiling from ear to ear “All set!”

I laughed but tried to focus, feeling the air currents around him I plucked his feet off the grass and the moment his weight was off the ground, I could feel the strain on my wounds but I kept it to myself and took him to the skies. To say that Penguin was delighted was a major understatement. He was holding out his arms, kicking the air, making superhero poses. Shachi was cheering from beside me, the rest of the crew seemed to be loving the scene, Bepo was cheering too jumping closer to us, I could even feel Law’s eyes on my back like my wounds could snap at any moment and he’d have to jump in. I could feel it too, the strain this was causing on my weakened body, I wanted to be stubborn, to keep at it but that would be more than stubborn, that would be selfish. Impossibly selfish. Penguin had, consciously or not, trusted me with his life and I could barely hear the cheers of the crew over the sound of my own blood pumping in my ears. I also didn’t want him thinking that he had made my wounds worse or something, he seemed like the kind of guy that would feel guilty even if it wasn’t actually his fault.

Without much fuss, I brought him back down, trying to not look as exhausted as I felt “Me next! Me next!” Shachi piped up to my left but before I even opened my mouth, I heard a familiar voice right behind me.

“No, that’s enough for today.” I glanced up to see Law towering over me.

He was right, I couldn’t take Shachi into the air like I did with Penguin and I was about to tell him this, but it really bugged me that he felt the need to speak for me. It ticked my already injured ego and I couldn’t stop myself, I stomp my right foot onto the ground as I move both my arms up, creating a gust of wind that takes Law up in the air. Is it making my arms feel like they might come undone? Yes, it is. Did it stop me from grinning mischievously at his surprised expression? Hell no. “Too grumpy to play superhero with us, Captain Panda?”

He frowned at me and held out his hand where I saw a spiral form and then extent around us in a blue veil “Room!”

“I wouldn’t that.” I interrupt him, keeping him in the air with both my hands, he raises me an eyebrow “If you shamble me away, I’m gonna lose focus and you’re gonna fall on your ass.”

He grinned with golden eyes piercing my grey ones “You think I’ll go easy on you because you’re injured?” I didn’t have the chance to reply as he unsheathed his sword and I noticed that his crew had cleared out of the circle. I found it strange before I felt an odd feeling on my waist and turned back to Law, he was sheeting his sword which I didn’t understand since he hadn’t done anything with it… Had he? He still had that grin on his face and I felt myself rise up to meet him but I could also still feel my feet on the floor?!

I looked down to realize that my legs were gone?! I opened my mouth but then I remembered him fighting in Sabaody and of him chopping up those marines without actually injuring them with the cuts. I looked back to find my legs where I had left them, I was still wearing my sandals and could see my toes, I wiggled them and saw them move, getting a chuckle to make its way up my throat “That’s a really cool trick.” I looked back at him that was at my eye level now, which was something I wouldn’t be able to do if we were on the floor, but it allowed me to fully see the look of surprise on his face.

A surprise he quickly recovered from, going back to his grumpy self “You’re pushing your limits there, thought you said you were gonna be careful.”

“I am being careful.” I technically was “I haven’t ripped my stitches, have I?”

His look hardened at me as he pointed at the center of my torso “If this one ‘rips’, you die.”

I let the reality set on me for a moment, now paying close attention to the heat right under my skin and how holding Law in the air made me feel like my skin would tear apart, but my eyes never left his, even as I smiled “Show me another one of those cool tricks and I’ll put you back on the floor.”

“With my power, I could just get myself down.”

I shrugged, intentionally wobbling his rather stable air support “Can you though?”

It was like a game, see who could push each other’s buttons more and both too proud to back away “You wanna see a cool trick, huh?” he switched his sword to his right hand and pulled his left back “Mes!” his palm hit the top of my chest so fast and so unexpectedly that I lost my breath “Shambles.” I don’t know what he shambled, I know that I lost all sense of where I even was for a moment, I felt myself fall, cold hands on my arms, my knees hitting the floor as I was suddenly looking at the grass as I struggled to get my breath back.

I didn’t realize I had even stopped hearing until sound came back around me “C’mon Captain, that was a bit mean.” Bepo’s voice was the first to break through “She is injured after all.”

“She asked me to show her something cool.” Law’s voice was as steady as always “I did as she asked.”

“I think that was payback for catching you off guard, captain.” I heard Penguin trying not to laugh but he soon stopped, Law must’ve glared at him again.

“It’s also not cool, captain.” Shachi’s voice sounded now “Most people consider that technique of yours really creepy, you know?”

“I’m telling you, she asked.” Law spoke up again and I found that breathing had started to feel easier now, so I sat up to realize that my legs were once again attached to my torso.

I scratched the back of my head as I got to my feet “What did you do?” I let my eyes focus again as the air started to settle in my lungs, Law turned slightly to face me and I noticed what he was holding “Is that a heart?!” he smirked and I looked at my chest, where his hand had hit and where now there was a square hole “Is that my heart?!”

I looked back at Law to find him grinning and there, right there in the light reflected in his golden eyes, I could see the satisfaction of being able to hold someone’s beating heart in your hands “Oh yeah.”

I looked at my heart as I touched the edges of my skin where that was supposed to be. I looked at him, his golden eyes making me feel like small prey, like I should run and never turn back, like I should shake in his presence and I consider myself lucky to still be standing. I mean, what other reaction should you have when someone just pulled your heart out of your chest like a damn Jenga piece? I could feel his cold hand supporting my beating heart, I could feel how his grip wasn’t any tighter than it needed to be – I tilted my head as my eyes remained on my heart – soft even? I was standing right in front of him before I knew it, only one question in my mind “Can I touch it?”

“Eh?” the crew tumbled in surprise and even Law’s usually stern expression could be perfectly read as confusion.

“I know it’s my heart, but I don’t know how this works.” I clarify “I don’t want to touch it and die!”

Law glanced from me to the heart, like it could fix his confusion but as the heart simply beat normally, the pirate captain looked back at me with seemingly even more questions “Sure.” As soon as I got permission, I poked it and collapsed on the floor as I had done it a bit too harshly “WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN, MORON?! IT’S A HEART, YOU CAN’T JUST POKE IT!”

“You said I could touch it!” I argued from the grass.

“Touch, not poke!” he countered “And I figured you’d be more careful with your own heart!” I heard him sigh as the crew laughed exchanging various comments from how crazy I was to how this was nice change of pace for their captain. Whatever this was that they were talking about, I couldn’t say.

They made me forget what life was like at the moment, it was easy to push it out of my mind when I heard them laugh, the Heart Pirates were a good, fun crew to hang out with. They made me miss my own crew like crazy. Sabaody seemed like so very long ago…

My thoughts were interrupted by the cheers of the crew and I raised my head to see what they were cheering about, walking into our little corner of the island were a handful of Hancock’s warriors, all familiar faces – why did I have to be so damn close to the entrance? - As the men fawned over the warriors, Law came to sit beside me “What are they doing over here…?”

“Right, you and Ikkaku had lunch on the island yesterday.” He said “The same warriors brought us food yesterday at around the same time too.” I didn’t say anything as I eyed their movements, setting up little stands with food “Why do they make you nervous?”

I blinked a couple of times before looking between Law and the warriors and back at Law “What are you talking about? They don’t—”

He showed me my fast beating heart still in his hand “It picked up the pace when you saw them come in.” he explained “You might be able to control your facial expressions well enough but your heart rate is another story.”

I… Had totally forgot he was holding my heart “We met them when me and Luffy first landed on the island, they’re alright. The blonde one?” I signalled over with my chin “Her name’s Margaret, she was the one that hung out with us more.” I tilted my head in retrospective “And I use the ‘hung out’ term really loosely here. She saved Luffy, then was trying to hunt us, then Luffy kind of kidnapped her, then she tried to kill us, then she kind of helped us, then she tried to kill us again, then she tried to defend us, got turned into stone because of us, we saved her, she saved us… You know, the usual.” He raised me an eyebrow “Oh, trust me, that’s the short version.”

“Alright… But ‘usual’?”

I actually laughed as several moments like that crossed my mind at the same time “Oh, you have no idea.”

He looked back at the Kuja “I guess that might explain why she was the only one that came over to ask me about you two.”

“Yeah…” I said more in a sigh than in an actual word. Law turned back to me as I laid my head back on the grass “They all wanted to know and ask too… How are you? How’s Luffy? I’m sorry about…” I took a deep breath and let that hang in the air “I’m alright, thanks. It’s what I reply every time.”

“How many times did you mean it?” I looked at Law but he was looking away from me and my grey eyes move back to the blue of the sky.

“Not even once…” I reply honestly and there’s a minute of silence between us “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s nice that they care enough to ask but…” I didn’t know how to phrase that so I had to stop and think about it, Law didn’t interrupt me, he just waited for me to sort out the words in my brain “I wish they didn’t ask.” I finally say, feeling a tear slip from the side of my face that would be followed by more as I let my mind sort through everything “It still hurts to think about it all, it hurts to feel, it hurts to remember, it hurts to feel like I’m not doing anything, it just hurts. The day is to distract myself and I’m too tired to feel at night, at night it seems like a story that happened to someone else… I wish they’d stop asking.”

I’m about to rub my face with my hands when he puts his hat over my face “She’s coming. Don’t move.” Is all the explanation I get. It’s dark and my nose is overwhelmed by the fresh smell of mint that becomes all I can breathe in with the fluffy hat over my face, my cheeks felt warm as I inhale the smell once again and I blame it on the fluffiness of the hat on my face.

“Doctor?” Margaret’s voice makes me almost jump and I feel something cold softly caress my heart “Oh! Is that Luna?”

“She’s asleep.” Law quickly interjected with his usual calm voice “Fresh air is good for her but she got tired quickly due to the exertion on her body.”

“Oh… I see… But she’s doing better, right?”

“It’s too early to tell.”

“What about Luffy? How is he doing?” she kept asking.

“I still can’t say when he’ll wake up.”

“Alright…” she didn’t seem to have left yet “Thank you for looking after them.”

“I’ve told you not to thank me, it was a whim.” I smiled under the hat. A whim? Taking his crew into the middle of a war to pick up two ‘enemies’ as he put it himself? It’s called kindness, Trafalgar Law.

“Thank you anyway.” she insisted.

“MARGARET!” another of the Kujas called out to her.

“Going!” she called back “I better go. Do you want me to bring you a bowl of food?”

“Thanks, but no.” Law said “I’ll see if Luna wakes up before you leave, save us a bowl for before you go.”

“No problem.”

A couple of minutes passed before I felt the hat being taken off my face, instinctively I rubbed my eyes and cleared the tears away “Thanks.”

“No problem.” I turned my head to him and noticed that he still had his hand on my heart, I turned back towards the sky. We were once again in silence as I lied on the grass and he sat beside me. It was a comfortable silence between us as we heard his crew celebrating the presence of the Kuja warriors…

#lunna-star-8 #submit #one piece #one piece oc #monkey d luna #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #submission

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smileyseungmin · 4 years

Text

Galaxies || Han Jisung

part one

WC: 3.4k

warnings: descriptions of sexual assault,, please be safe y'all,, language,, mentions of blood,, but not to much

a/n: oof i really haven't posted anything in a while sorry about that. I have some stuff written out that should hopefully go up soon. Also I didn't actually mean to write a second part to this but here it is anyways, so enjoy!

You loved the stars, space, the great vast unknown beyond the atmosphere. There was no doubt about it. Your old bedroom was painted black with hues of pink, blue, purple and mixed in with yellows, oranges, and white to complete the starry look. You missed it, and as much as you wanted to recreate the mural of your childhood, there were policies that prevented you from doing so. It was a shame really, but these policies never said anything about putting glow in the dark, star shaped stickers all along the barren, off white walls of your room. So Jisung took advantage of that and filled you ceiling with the small stars that you absolutely adored. While you were visiting your parents, he meticulously placed each and every star to represent the ones in the sky. Let's just say you cried once you got back.

Now though, those little stars that once made your heart swell with joy, just squeezed your heart of happiness until it was empty and emotionless. It reminded you of him and all the good times that you had with each other. It hurt knowing that those times were basically over. There would be times were you couldn't even sleep in your own bedroom because it was just too painful.

Today was one of those nights.

You were sitting on your couch, staring blankly at the wall. You knew you should be doing something productive, but you just couldn't bring yourself up to do anything. You knew that sitting around, waiting for something to change wasn't your best option, but there you were, wishing that Jisung was still with you. You missed his warm embrace, the gentle words he would whisper in your ears before falling asleep. As much as you wanted that back, you knew that he won't come back. Now all you feel is the cold shoulder while he walked away from you and to hear the words full of malice that cut deeper than any knife.

You've tried to call him, text him, tell him that your sorry for whatever you did to upset him, but to no avail. He ignored call after call, text after text. Eventually you gave up too. You sent him one last text before blocking his number.

I'm sorry for whatever I did. Maybe you will find someone who fulfills your standards, since I clearly didn't. Goodbye.

You cried yourself to sleep that night.

Weeks passed as things haven’t improved at all. There was still that empty place in your heart that yearned for a certain person that still avoided you like the plague. As much as it hurts, you learned to ignore it as best as you could. You still worked in the same building as him. Working as a choreographer required you to be in the company building more often than not, and with Jisung always being in the building, either for dance practice or producing, the not so subtle glares in your direction as you walked by happened a lot more than you liked.

You also started to notice the other members ignoring you and dodging you whenever they could. You didn't know why they were doing it and it hurt. All you wanted to do was know why, but they never gave you an opportunity to even ask.

Soon enough, this sadness turned into frustration, which naturally turned into overworking yourself. It was easy to do. Work until you were too tired to think, too tired to feel anything. Sure it wasn't the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but it worked and frankly you didn't know what else to do. This is why you were currently on the practice room floor, panting, trying to catch your breath. Despite your body screaming at you to stop and get some rest, eat some food, get some sleep, you just refused to stop. You had to continue and finish this choreography. It had to be completed within the next week and you were falling behind on perfecting it. It had to be done. So, with shaky legs, you stood up, took a quick swig of water, walked over to your phone, and started up the song once again.

With each run through, you felt yourself getting better. Each move you paired with the beat of the song became more fluid, more together. It was almost there. Almost.

With satisfaction over taking disappointment, you finally sat down, allowing your body to rest. You didn't know what time it was, but you could probably guess it was around one in the morning. This would be your third time in a row staying really late and you knew that it wasn't healthy, but you just couldn't seem to bring yourself to care, which was a bit concerning. You just didn't really see a reason to care about your health, it's not like anybody actually cared about you. Not even you cared about yourself. It was just so much easier to throw yourself into work and forget everything.

You groaned at yourself after feeling the hot tears fall down your cheeks. You were done with crying. You told yourself that you wouldn't cry anymore over this, yet here you are, sitting on the dirty floor, by yourself, feeling sorry for yourself once again.

You just let yourself sit there and just cry. You knew that it would be better to let it all out than to hold it all inside. It wasn't full on sobbing, just silent tears that formed small paths down your cheeks. Small hiccups escaped your lips every now and then, but it was mostly silent.

Apparently though, you weren't quiet enough because someone slowly opened the door, poking their head in the see what was happening.

"Hello?" You turned to look. It was Chan. You quickly turned your head away before you could make eye contact and buried your face into your hands.

"Y/N?" You heard hesitant footsteps come closer. You didn't want him to come any closer. You didn't want him to see how weak and vulnerable you really were. You didn't want any of this. You just wanted to go home.

Chan didn't say anything. He didn't really do anything either. He just sat right next to you, letting his presence calm you down a bit.

You were grateful for it. Having someone next to you while you were crying your eyes out was definitely better than doing it alone. It hurt just a little less. Yet, even after after your tears dried up and your breathing becomes regular again, that same empty feeling in your heart still stayed.

"Sorry for worrying you. I'm just going to go now," you quietly mumbled before you got up and grabbed all your things, not even looking back. Fear kept going from looking back. Fear that Chan would lash out on you the same way Jisung did. You knew for a fact that you wouldn't be able to take it if that happened again. So you just kept on walking.

And walking.

Walking into the chilly city night with no protection against the nipping breeze that raised goosebumps on your skin. This was definitely not one of your best decisions that you have made, considering how you had absolutely no protection against the cold and you were most definitely walking in a dangerous part of the city, by yourself nonetheless.

Fear crawled all along your skin, constantly looking every which way for any signs of life.

Maybe you were too cautious, causing you to miss the smallest details. Or maybe this stranger was just way too sneaky for his own good because he just appeared at your side out without any warning.

"Hey, you know it isn't safe for people to be walking alone at night, especially here," the stranger slightly scolded you, concern on his face. That concern was quickly replaced by guilt when you jumped, a small yelp escaping your lips.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” You softly chuckled, hand still over your racing heart.

“No worries, its all good. You just startled me, that’s all.”

“That’s good, but seriously... its not safe being out here all alone, especially this late at night.”

"Yeah well I never said I was smart. And besides, you were alone as well so you can’t really say anything." You grumbled, progressively feeling less scared, the presence of another person by your side calming your nerves.

"Well, you got me there. Caught red handed." You chuckled. Despite being a total stranger, he was kind of pleasant to be around.

"You look extremely tired, no offense. Long day, if you don’t mind me asking?” You groaned, thinking about the long, exhausting week. The stranger just stared at you, shocked and confused at your reaction. “That bad, huh?”

"Longer than can imagine.”

"Damn... well, I bet are just longing to get home. I know a quicker way to get there if you want to follow me.” You agreed.

Maybe it was want to be around another person that caused you to say yes. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that made you not question why he knew where your house was. Whatever it was, it caused you to agree and to be dragged into an ally by some random stranger.

The first minute or so was fine, his grip was the only uncomfortable thing about the situation. It wasn't until he stopped so abruptly and pushed you against the brick wall when you started feeling scared.

"What?" With your sleep deprived state, you weren't fast enough to stop him from pinning you against the wall, his grip on your wrists becoming impossibly tighter.

"As soon as I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were going to be easy, but I didn't know it would be that easy," he chuckled, a sly grin spreading across his face. Tears gathered at the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall. You didn't understand. What was happening? Wasn't he just trying to help you? What happened? You just wanted to get away.

You tried to push this stranger away, fear finally settling into your bones. You were scared of what he would do.

You snapped your head forward, your forehead connecting with his jaw, earning a grunt from him. This only seemed to anger him because he let go of one of your wrists and back handed you across the cheek, your face painfully whipped to the side.

"Don't try anything funny or it won't end well for you," he growled, his face leaning even closer. You whimpered, tears finally fell from your eyes, small streams running down your cheeks. He slowly reached down and forced his lips onto yours.

You wanted to turn your head away. Push him away and run home. Curl up in your bed and cry yourself to sleep. Instead, you were pinned up against a grimy, dirty wall, hands exploring every part of body, lips on your face and neck, tears falling down your face.

Your breath quickened. Panic was settling in. You couldn't breathe. Everything was blurring together. You still couldn't breathe. You felt a different pair of hands on you and you freaked out even more. Somewhere beneath your labored breathing you heard a soothing voice try to calm you but you were too out of it, too tired, and still could not breathe.

Slowly, the fight in you drained away and your eyes fluttered closed, still hearing that soothing voice as you slipped unconscious.

Jisung took a look at the time and sighed. It was almost one thirty in the morning and Chan still wasn't home. He sighed and rolled out of bed. Jisung figured he would go get Chan before he passed out trying to get back to the dorms. He slipped his shoes and jacket on before walking out into the cold night.

Jisung liked nights like these. A nice cool breeze, the moon shining brightly against the dark sky. It was perfect. Almost perfect anyway. It was missing one thing. You.

He missed you. He couldn't deny it. He really did. At times he would regret yelling at you and cutting you out of his life, but he was hurt. After someone telling him about all the things you said about him, all the things you did, he just couldn't help and be so angry. He felt so betrayed. So hurt. He didn't understand why you would do such a thing.

He shook his head and sighed. He couldn't be having these thoughts right now. He needed to bring Chan home and make sure he doesn't overwork himself. He continued on his way to his destination when he something coming from the ally to his left.

He was going to ignore it. Just walk away. He had other, more important, things to do. That was until he heard the smallest hint of a scared whimper. A whimper that caused his feet to move forward, slowly going deeper into the darkened ally. The closer he walked forward, the more he could hear, now listening to small pleas and heavy breathing.

"Hello? Who's there?" He called out. He continued forward until he saw it. At first he was surprised. Seeing some guy pinning you up against the wall, hands all over you, it filled his head with so many questions. He wanted to scoff, walk away. Let his anger get the best of him at the sight of you with another man. Yet all anger toward you vanished when he actually saw you. The tears streaming down your face, your trembling figure. The fear that shone so brightly in your eyes.

Anger boiled over and he saw red.

An animalistic growl left his lips as he surged forward, ripping the man right off you. He slammed his fist into his nose, internally cringing at the sickening crunch of the nose breaking under his knuckles. Yet that didn't stop him. Jisung kept on swinging. Wailing his fists into this guy's face until there was blood everywhere. He only stopped when he heard your ragged breath and small whimpers. He released the guy and immediately sprung over to you, not caring about the man who shakily got up and staggered away. His heart broke into pieces when he tried to reach for you, but you flinched away. He knew that you still were panicking, but it still broke his heart. Jisung tried to talk to you, sooth you his arms, but you were just too out of it. He barely had time to catch you when your eyes rolled to the back of your head, falling unconscious.

"Shit." He picked you up bridal style, brushing your hair out of your closed eyes. "It's okay. I got you." Jisung blinked away the tears that formed at the corner of his eyes and held you close.

"No one will ever hurt you again."

"Okay, thanks. Yeah I'll see you tomorrow." Jisung hung up the phone. He sighed and put his phone down. He called Chan to make sure he got home safe and so nobody freaked out when Jisung wasn’t at the dorms in the morning. He sat down on the floor, seeing how he laid you on the couch, and stared at the ceiling. Nothing really changed since the last time he was at your place, except for one thing. That one picture of you and him that you always had sitting on the side table was faced down, so the picture wasn’t showing. That hurt Jisung, but he didn’t dwell on it for too long. He had other things to focus on.

Jisung was busy in the kitchen, making some tea for the both of you when you finally woke up. You were confused. You didn’t know how you got into your apartment in the first place.The last thing you remembered was that stranger... Tears pricked your eyes at the thought of it, but you blinked them away. You were even more confused when you heard movement in your kitchen. After slowly, and shakily, getting up, you groggily shuffled into the kitchen, eyes going wide when you saw Jisung. He looked over his shoulder upon hearing you enter the room, but didn’t say anything. He only stared at you for a second before turning back around. You looked down at the floor in shame before carefully walking to the small table on the opposite side of the room, taking a seat on of one the old chairs that came with the apartment. You flinched when Jisung placed a mug of steaming hot tea in front of you. He just sat in front of you but didn’t say anything.

It was quiet for a few minutes, the two of you hesitant to start any conversation.

“What were you thinking?” he asked with a bit too much malice laced in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” You really didn’t know what to say. You were still shaken up by the events that happened early that night and you were so tired from the lack of sleep.

“I’m sorry. Is that really all you got?" he fumed, letting his anger get the best of him.

"I was just so tired... I wasn't thinking straight," you murmured, trying to justify yourself for something that wasn't even your fault to begin with.

"Your tired. Is that really all you got? Well in case you didn't know, I'm fucking tired to, but you don't see me whoring around, desperate for attention." You froze. You studied Jisung's face for any sign of remorse for the words he just spit at you. His face remained the same and you let your anger, your frustrations, finally boil over.

"Whoring around?" You pushed away the long abandoned tea that was no longer hot. "Is that what you think I was doing? Throwing myself at every guy I see because I'm some desperate bitch? Well in case you didn't know, I wasn't trying to hook up with anyone. I was trying to get home after a long, tiring day when that guy tried to take advantage of me." You weren't yelling, but you were sure close to it. You hated yelling, yet Jisung's words cut deep, hurting you and making you angry. Jisung was aware of this too, his face of anger changing into guilt as soon as your voice started raising, shaking slightly as you tried your hardest to jot break down. You stood up from the table, tears gathering in your eyes yet again.

"I- I thought you knew me. I thought we would always be there for each other, no matter what happens, but I guess not." You voice was reduced to barely a whisper. You weren't sure if Jisung could even hear you. "I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you, to make you mad at me. Just know this though. I have always kept my promise. I have always waited for you, but I don't think you waited for me."

You stared at him for a second, but when he did nothing, no attempt to correct you, to tell you that he still cared about you, you turned around and walked off, locking yourself in your room.

You didn't see it, but tears slowly fell down Jisung's face. All the frustrations of these past few weeks finally getting to him. He knew he should leave, this wasn't him apartment after all, but he couldn't find the motivation to stand. All he could do was replay your words over in his head. You kept your promise. You waited for him.

He was so stupid, believing the words of someone that he didn't even know. He believed that you were sleeping around with people you didn't even know. He believed it and he hurt you because of it. Hell he blamed you for the horrible, unjustified actions of that guy. You probably didn't want to wait for him anymore, and he wouldn't blame you. He was horrible. He hurt you and had no right to say all those horrible things to you. He was horrible.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, but Jisung finally decided it was time to leave. As he was walking out, he glanced at the picture of you and him, that was faced down. He walked over and picked it up, staring at both your smiling faces, wishing for the simpler days to return. Jisung set the picture down, facing up this time and walked out, longing to hold you and just apologize for everything that he did.

#oof there will be a third part dont worry #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids senarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids soft hours #stray kids angst #stray kids reactions #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung drabble

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