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kkwooyo · 1 year

Text

. . . better left unsaid.

pairing - - pre-established lee minho & reader

word count - - 3.6k & some more

warnings - - arguments, mentions of insecurities, talks of breaking up, some language (hell), mentions of falling out of love, some hurt & comfort, poor attempt at angst, unfortunate happy ending (somewhat), being too prideful to properly apologize.

author’s note - - thank you, to the anon that requested this, for my first request!! hope you enjoy!! let me know what you think <3 likes and reblogs always appreciated, i do read comments!! special rage for @minvho. also, not beta-read, we die like me after skz mvs. i’ll edit typos later!! <3

you aren’t really sure how the argument started, anymore, but you know it has escalated to a point where tears are pricking at your eyes. it seems as if your care for minho has since been overlooked and disregarded. the man you call a lover seems to hold none of that love in his eyes as he studies you, awaiting your next words as if waiting to dissect them, to tell you you’re wrong when you know you aren’t.

at this point, maybe your only wrong was letting things go so far, but the blame lies on him as well. you know he would usually be receptive, or at least listen to the points you make.. you have no idea what you had done wrong to make him be against you. this wasn’t what love was supposed to entail, and you knew this.

“minho.. you’re not listening,” you start to speak, but he only furrows his eyebrows at you. “i have nothing against you, and i know the group asks a lot of you,” you continued, but this time he was prepared to cut you off.

“they’re asking a lot of me?” lee know’s voice was calm, eerily calm– as if you two had not been arguing over his work, amongst other things, for an hour now. thinking on it, you could remember the exact moment this argument started— all because you had stayed up to make sure he returned home.

“you know i didn’t mean it like that!” you can’t help but raise your voice ever so slightly, “my point is that you’ve been working for so long, focusing so much on them that you haven’t made any time for me!” you’re exasperated, quite frankly tired of lee minho at this point, or as he calls himself, lee know. “you’re so focused on them that you barely even have time to come home for me, anymore,” you have since lowered your voice, the tears now falling. you usually don't consider yourself one to cry often, but you’re just so tired and quite frankly done with minho.

“i don’t know if you remember this, with how preoccupied you’ve been with yourself, but we both have lives outside of each other,” minho retaliates, and while you know he has a point, you can’t help the irritation that shows on your features for a moment. minho recognizes this as he continues to speak, though. “why are you getting irritated at me stating the truth? typical, honestly.. do you have no self-awareness?” his words are harsh, and you can’t help but wonder if he truly thinks so lowly of you.

“me, no self-awareness? do you even hear yourself, babe?” you mock minho to his own exasperation, and feel a guilty sort of pride at the annoyed look that he directs towards you. good, let him fester in the mess that he has created. the love that you were so used to seeing him hold for you seemed to disappear, now replaced by annoyance and frustration.

“i’m just telling you how i see it, babe,” he returned the same energy that you had offered him moments before, “you knew from the moment we made things official, that we would have to deal with the aftermaths of both our schedules. you can’t claim that you can handle mine when you clearly can’t. you can’t get mad at me for things outside my power when i have never blamed you, not once, for your own schedules,” he continues, “even when you didn’t come home for a week, i supported you! when you were busy with interviews and meet & greets, i made every effort to help you.. yet this is how i get the favor returned? maybe you were right– maybe we can’t handle each other and our lives. maybe we would be better without each other, yeah?”

he means it as a rhetorical question, one that he knows the answer to. he knows that he needs you in his life, that he wants you in his life. you give him a reason to keep going, and while he might not show it in the moment.. he knows that this won’t be the end of everything you two have, that he wont let it be. yet, at the same time.. he knows that he hasnt done anything wrong, so he finds it hard to understand where you are coming from. he tries, he truly does, but..

maybe he is right. maybe you don’t know each other as well as you claim to.

“yeah, maybe..” your voice is barely above a whisper, more-so aimed towards yourself. realization startles into minho, and despite all the emotions he feels right now, mostly not positive, he finds himself wishing you would just let things go so he could hold you in his arms and tell you that you are overthinking. you’re wrong, he’s wrong, this isn't the end. he’s saying things he means and things he doesn't mean, and he’s digging himself into a hole.

despite himself, minho takes a small step towards you, hands at his sides, yet you instinctively back away. hurt flashes across minho’s features, and it is at this point that you know things have gone too far. it is not to say minho would hurt you, you know he would never.. but your emotions are running high right now, and you don’t trust the words coming from either of you. things are tense, unbearably so, yet you can’t bring yourself to apologize. the words get stuck in your throat— why are you apologizing, when your only error was loving him to the point of a natural concern for his well-being?

your eyes scan minho for a sign of how he’s feeling now, but you find none. if he is still hurt, he seems to find a good way to hide it. you worry that you’ve done nothing but piss him off even more, but.. you don’t even find anger, either. he swallows thickly under your gaze, watching how you struggle to speak. it’s less than a minute, but it feels like an eternity.

“you don’t have anything better to say, do you?” minho finally speaks for you. he sounds tired, with hints of exasperation. you can’t blame him, though— you’re sure that those same emotions were showing in your expression. he hasn’t moved from the spot he was in, but now he’s biting his lip as he seemingly contemplates something. what he’s thinking of, you have no idea. you wish you knew, though, because maybe, then, it would all be over by now. maybe, then, you two would be asleep in your shared room after apologizing.

“minho..” you start to speak, hand reaching for his. this time, though, he’s the one to pull back. you nod, more so to yourself— you understand. maybe it’s only fair, but it doesn’t stop the rise of emotions from within.

“forget it, i’m going to jisung’s for the night. i’ll.. i’ll see you tomorrow,” minho’s voice has since calmed down. no longer does he sound like a snarky asshole, but he sounds like the version of minho you’ve grown to know— the one who shuts down emotionally during conflict, the one who starts to distance himself from you. you were losing him.

“minho, wait—!” you rush to stop him, but it’s to no avail. he is a man of a mission, already retrieving his phone from the pocket of his hoodie. you hadn’t realized it until now, as he starts to unlock his phone with the time displayed, but you hadn’t even given him a chance to change since he had gotten home. it’s roughly a bit after midnight, and you can only pray that jisung is awake and well, for both your sakes. as much as you love minho, as much as you want him to stay.. right now, things are going nowhere unless he apologizes.

based on the look he gives you, though, it seems he wants the same of you. you refuse to give in. this is hardly your fault, so why does he have to be so cruel? you don’t deserve this, you think, and he probably realizes this as he shakes his head. you’re vaguely aware of the ring tone coming through the speaker, least of all jisung on the other end.

“.. minho? hey, what’s up?” jisung’s voice comes through in almost perfect clarity. you can tell he’s in the beginning stages of getting tired, as his words are tinged with the faint hints of a yawn. “do you need anything — is everything okay with you two?” his words are meant to be full of concern, yet it does nothing to deter the anxiety forming in your stomach. this is.. arguably the worst argument (read: fight) that you and minho have had thus far, and you share mutual friends. you can only assume the worst, of what minho might say.

“i’ll explain when i get there, ji,” speaking of minho, he glances at you with an unreadable expression as he responds. you’ve barely moved an inch, scrutinizing every move he makes. he’s been moving around your shared apartment, grabbing his heavy jacket off the arm of the couch and retrieving his keys from the pocket as he slips the coat on. “if i don’t die before i get there,” it’s meant to be a joke about the reckless night drivers, but it only fuels your anxiety, your worries. was minho scared?

you felt like throwing up, and that was no good. with nothing to contribute to the conversation, you felt all your energy diminish as you turned on your heel to leave. you didn’t offer him a glance as you headed towards the kitchen, finding that you had unknowingly left the tupperware of dinner for him out. you knew that he had not eaten properly— hell, that had been part of the argument. wordlessly, you grabbed the container to hand to him. you hadn’t heard the door open & shut yet, so you knew he was still in the apartment— plus, you could hear him speaking to han jisung.

“minho,” you were right— he was still in the front room, although about to leave. “at least take this with you. i know you haven’t eaten yet, have you? made it earlier, but..” you spoke as he stared down the container of food. he was so used to cooking for the two of you when he had the time, or getting food with the boys, that it had been so long since you had made something for the two of them.. and he hadn’t been there. it was harsh, but you hoped he at least felt guilty for that— maybe that would prompt him to apologize, just maybe.

he said nothing, though, as he took the container out of your hand with an imperceptible nod of his head. his gaze lingered on yours as he hesitated to leave, but you still heard the soft click of the handle as he pulled the door open. you weren’t getting anything out of him, and this both angered and upset you. you weren’t asking for much, if anything at all.

he was gone, though, and you were left staring at the door before you realize you were still crying. god, what a fool you were— he, too. why couldn’t he just admit he was in the wrong, just this once? god, you loved, and still love the man but sometimes he was insufferable.

you were fumbling with your phone, pretending as if your tears weren’t from both anger and sadness while you searched through your recent contacts. if anyone would understand you, or at least offer rational advice.. it was chan, through and through. likewise, if anyone was bound to be awake that was not han.. chan, or felix. on the flip side, though, felix was bound to go to sleep soon.

“.. chan?” you heard the sound of the line connecting after one ring, amidst the sounds of people in the background— where the hell was he..? you didn’t have to ask him, though, as you heard the voices more clearly now. he was not at anyone’s house, but rather listening to sound bites on his laptop. leave it to chan to work at midnight, you supposed.

“hm? .. what’s up?” chan responded, and you could hear him shut off his laptop for a moment. “did something happen..? did minho make it home safe?” the worry was evident in his tone, and you wondered if he had managed to pick up on your tears through his name alone.

“minho’s fine, i think. he’s at hanji’s place, at the moment, or on the way,” you replied as chan hummed in response— no doubt his next question was to ask what was up, again, so you would cut the middle man. “we had a.. fight, though. i don’t know what to do, because he won’t apologize.”

“why would he need to apologize?” chan was silent for a moment, but when he spoke, you could have almost seen this question coming.

“he just does, okay?” you could hear yourself getting defensive as you sighed, “sorry, sorry. point is, he said some things that he shouldn’t have, and.. things escalated,” you explained in simple terms, before going into full detail of the argument. on the other end, chan was silent except for his hums of acknowledgement.

“.. you want my advice? leave him alone, and he’ll leave you alone,” chan spoke as something shuffled on his end, “and before you interrupt me, this doesn’t mean you should go after him. you want to know what i think, yeah? i think you both need to apologize, and not let your egos in the way of a petty argument. yeah, maybe you were coming from a place of concern, and maybe he was blunt with his words, but.. you have to keep in mind who minho is, as well as who you are. relationships require work on both ends. i told you both this when you started seeing each other,” his words were blunt and to the point, but you could tell that he was coming from a place of care and concern.

“.. alright. thanks, channie boy.”

“i’m sorry, what? channie what?” chan went to speak, but was cut off by the dial tone of you hanging up. alas, poor torrick. while his advice had some merit to it.. you couldn’t help but scoff afterwards. hadn't chan been listening to the whole story? you weren’t in the wrong, or at least that’s what you believed.

with a pensive sigh, you lay your phone on the table beside the couch. maybe there was nothing you could do but wait, and contemplate. begrudgingly, you stand up to head towards the bedroom you would normally share with minho. the lack of your boyfriend, though, seems to only fuel the anger and frustration inside of you– what gives him the right to leave, yet you’re stuck here?

it felt empty, yet you forced yourself under the covers of your king-sized bed. normally, you would be cuddling with minho if your schedules allowed, joking about your day, but right now you quite honestly wished you could block him from your mind and existence as you tried to sleep.

it felt weird to sleep in your shared room without minho, though, and this was a realization that was preventing you from being able to sleep as you clutched his pillow to your chest. eventually, you figured it would just be better to sleep on the sofa. you didn’t quite mind the sofa, anyways, so you took a throw blanket and a pillow with you in the dark. worst comes to worst, minho comes home while you’re still asleep, scolds you, and the argument begins anew. you didn’t want that, but if that was bound to happen.. it seemed almost pointless to stay in the relationship. you didn’t want to lose him, but you didn’t want to lose yourself in a relationship where you could not see eye to eye. you had no idea what jisung and minho would say about you whilst they were together, and you could not help but assume the worst. this could be the end of everything, yet you were in the dark.

you were tired of being in the dark on most things, honestly. minho kept so much from you, and you knew it was because he was a reserved person, but.. you had been together for two years, now. you had joked (with a tinge of honesty) about getting married after all of this was over, after both your contracts ended. or, at least, when the dating ban was lifted off of both of you. was it all futile, pointless? would things end in a completely different way? .. how long had you been crying for, at this point?

you didn’t deserve this. you were starting to wonder how many of minho’s ‘jokes’ were just reality disguised. maybe you were a liability to him, and maybe you were too much for the both of you to handle.. you scoffed at yourself, wiping the tears away. how on earth could you let yourself falter over a man, when you had been just fine without him? you laughed at yourself this time, smiling as you told yourself that things would be fine, relationship or alone.

you told yourself you didn’t need him as much as he needed you. maybe you were right.. maybe this was something to sleep on. you were tired, unbelievably so, and it was time to rest– sleep was a break from reality, a rest from minho and his problems that he (unknowingly) inflicted on you. too lazy to put the blanket over your body, you curled into the couch as you wiped your tears away. maybe this would be the end of everything, but.. for now, it was time to rest your conflicted heart.

.. it couldn’t have been later that two in the morning when you awoke, against your own will. something, or someone, was laying something on top of you. in a half-awake state, you moved restlessly on the sofa. whatever was causing the disturbance seemed to freeze, before letting you be. the weight of the blanket atop you was welcome, and you realize that the lights had been turned off– you hadn’t done that.

someone locked the door behind you– this wasn’t an observation you could immediately see, but one you could hear as you slowly began to wake up more. glancing around the room, you noticed that minho’s shoes were next to the door, and his jacket was back on the display hook. he must have come home, then.. as much as you had wanted him not to leave earlier, you didn’t quite want to see him. you knew he was in your bedroom, based on the dim glow underneath the door. you hoped he felt as lonely as you had.

content to go back to sleep and ignore him, you planned to do so. however, as you closed your eyes and pulled the blanket securely around you, you were aware of minho’s soft footsteps as he left the bedroom and closed the door behind him with a soft click. opening your eyes just enough to see him, but not enough to be deemed awake, you realized he was carrying a blanket and pillow under his arm.

you didn’t know if he knew you were awake, but you watched nonetheless as he set the pillow on the floor in front of the sofa, before making a make-shift bedding setup with the blanket. you forced yourself to regulate your breaking as he shifted the blanket to get comfortable. he hadnt laid down yet, though.

he brushed the hair out of your face as you seemingly slept, letting his hand rest on your cheek. wordlessly, he pressed a chaste kiss to your face as he moved away.

“you’re a little much for me,” minho murmured as he looked at your supposedly sleeping form, “but you’re never too much, okay?” he had always been too prideful to apologize, but.. this was a step in the right direction, you supposed. maybe things will be okay, you think. “you’re a terrible actress, love, but.. let’s talk in the morning, okay? go back to sleep, or else,” he snickered to himself, and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself as well.

“okay, but only if you apologize,” you murmured with sleep in your voice, and hoped he could translate it to decipherable words. “i’m serious, though, minho.. one of us has to apologize.”

“.. you’re right, but i’d rather not talk about that right now. i talked to jisung, and i know you talked to chan.. let’s get some rest. we’re both tired, i know.. it’s been a long day. plus, we did promise not to go to bed mad, so.. let’s shelf it for tomorrow.” minho whispered back, crouching down next to where you slept as he found himself tracing shapes on the back of your hand, which he now held.

you had to restrain yourself from retorting that it was already tomorrow, because you knew minho was restraining himself from the same comment. things were not okay, but.. maybe they could be, tomorrow. he better keep his promise, you think, as you hold onto his hand as if it’s a lifeline despite the fact that you know he is trying to lie down right now. if he’s uncomfortable, he doesn’t comment on it.

“sleep well, bedbug. please don’t crush me in your sleep.”

“are you calling me fat, after all of this?”

minho laughed quietly, and you knew that things could be salvaged despite the pride within the both of you. maybe you were too prideful to apologize, or maybe you were both just cowards, but.. there were words unspoken, and you could let things go for now.

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vgperson · 1 year

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What Did I Do In 2022?

Game Translations That Aren't YTTD: 1. Okay, maybe 1.5.

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First of all, while I didn't add it until later in the year (not entirely unmotivated by the Stability of Platforms), my site now has an RSS feed for notable updates of any kind! I mention this upfront because I'm mostly just going over the things that are already listed there. It currently retroactively covers everything back to 2020, but I might add more past stuff over time so it can better serve as a general "everything I've ever done" page.

In February, I translated Kenshi Yonezu's POP SONG (and an interview). Noel The Mortal Fate Seasons 1-7 also got a revamped version on consoles (Switch, PS4); the console versions include a new Season 3.5 translated entirely by me, and the rest of the seasons have a revised script which is more thoroughly edited by me than even the redone Steam translation was.

In March, the update adding Kai to Your Time To Shine came out. Yes, he is Kai.

In April, I finally finished up my unofficial Japanese translation patch for Petal Crash. たのしいね、クラッシュ！ It actually just got some extra attention after the Petal Crash run for RTA In Japan about two days ago, which is kind of wild. Is this what it's like to be famous...? (clueless)

In May, I translated Kenshi Yonezu's Shin Ultraman theme song M87 (interview, interview), and the coupling song from the single, ETA. And there was an article about the 10th anniversary of his debut!

Also in May, the Ib remake came out on Steam in English! Told you they'd contact me. It was later announced to be coming to Switch, scheduled for March 2023.

In August, Your Turn To Die was announced to be coming to Steam. It's planned for early 2023, but to be clear, it'll release first in Early Access still with no final part, though with some exclusive mini-episodes and character profile sheets. Apparently once that's out, the actual completion is estimated for 6 to 12 months later... but, you know. Estimates are hard.

In September, I put together a guide for and officially "released" my Custom Translation Engine plugin for RPG Maker MV, the one I made for the Ib remake, and back-implemented into Your Turn To Die shortly after I was contacted about it coming to Steam. It's fancy (in-game language switching!), convenient (minimal direct editing of code!), and you can use it for your own translation projects if you want!

In October... well, I didn't do anything new for it, but I'll take credit for The Witch's House MV coming to consoles. (Switch, PS4, Xbox) I also translated everyone's favorite Chainsaw Man opening KICK BACK, associated interviews, and the single's coupling song Y'all Should Be Ashamed.

Finally, in December, after lots of spending my time elsewhere and indecision about how I should go about returning to doing some dang free game translations, I concluded that what I'd really wanted to do all year was translate Uri's PEDESTAL.

I think some people latched onto specific parts of Uri's original explanation for why it wasn't being translated, such as the cultural aspects (I honestly winced at her blunt remark that the story was "no good at all"), but while Uri indeed had those doubts at the time of release, the only real reason it wasn't translated at the time is that I did a less-than-ideal rushed playthrough that slightly hurt my overall impression of its quality, and I felt too busy at the time to work on something with lots of text that was likely to be divisive. So similarly, me finally feeling up to it was the reason it did get translated. I probably should've come back to it quite a bit sooner (after I was made to give up a certain other translation, say), but as I alluded to in last year's post, I was self-conscious about "my big return to free game translations" being something that might not have wide appeal. Uh, glad to be past that, hopefully.

Oh, and ever since finishing PEDESTAL, I've been working on all sorts of overhauls to my site, but like... not the kind that actually majorly changes any part of the visible design and annoys people (and if something did change in an annoying way, it's probably accidental). Some of it's just better consideration of mobile browsing (stuff like images or tables sticking out of bounds at mobile resolutions), or making things more convenient for myself behind the scenes (did you know I made a program to add "br"s to every line of all lyrics content before considering I could just have the page code do that, and also better?).

Some more major observable changes include general renovations to the lyrics page (bigger font size, buttons that hide individual languages to aid in side-by-side comparison), and more convenient navigation of OSTER's tweets, such that I could actually imagine someone reading through them all the way from the start without it being too much of a hassle.

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While I'm glad to be over the PEDESTAL hump, I don't... necessarily have any definite plans for upcoming free game translations. I mostly just have some stuff on a list that I may have to make myself check out soon enough. Also, Game Atsumaru (which you may know as The Site That Hosts YTTD's Japanese Version) is ending in June??? So uh, might have to accelerate checking out stuff on there, though I guess it depends on how many creators are able to migrate. (Nankidai does plan to put YTTD's Japanese browser version up somewhere else.)

As I mentioned, Your Turn To Die's Early Access release on Steam should be coming up early next year with those mini-episodes and character profiles, and the game might be completed within the year. No promises. I mean, I don't have anything to promise, it's not my game.

Speaking of my game... also no promises. But I'd really like to release one. We'll see what happens. There's also a different kind of original project I recently returned to trying to make real, which could come early in the year, but who knows. As should be apparent, I'm working on a lot of different fronts here, so I frequently feel bad about neglecting such-and-such type of creative work, which sometimes means nothing actually gets done and released. Ultimately, though, it's probably better to follow what I most feel like doing, rather than force focus on one thing and end up not actually getting much done.

Which is to say: hoping to finish something in the new year!

#vgperson

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 1 year

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this mv reminded me of walls videos!! i love bigger than me (pretty landscapes iceland is so beautiful) and out of my system's vid is like everything it should be can't imagine a better one but i loved that this one was story driven like the others. what is your favorite music video so far sea?

The narrative video is Louis’ specialty, always beautifully thought out and cinematically gorgeous.

The Silver Tongues music video especially gives dignity and humanity to a difficult subject. Remember this tweet?

The video definitely gives pause to lyrics that fans might interpret simply as about Louis’ childhood, hanging out with his friends, making amateur music / bad jokes / working class social philosophy, drinking and racing in the streets.

The music video’s themes of darkness, isolation, loneliness, and being trapped in a class system where the poor are homogenized— living not only in similar house but identical rooms, where people’s individuality and feelings are unnoticed behind identical curtains and mass-produced gewgaws and collectibles— gives meaning to weight to the need to “get high on the amber waves” (drink alcohol), “going deep for the ones who do the same… settle in for another heavy one.”

Louis’ song is a form of solidarity. Louis and the people in the video are saying to each other, “I know nobody understands/ me like you do.” Not that no one understands the situation, but no one understands the inner turmoil— the private feelings.

The working class youth can sometimes break out of the system, but only through extraordinary luck— Louis by entering a singing contest, his friends through world-class talents in sports like boxing (David Allen) or football. They must win a lottery against terrible odds, and even then, they are judged more harshly for not being the “right sort of person”: they smoke, they drink, they dress a certain way, they hang out in pubs, they drive certain cars. And their accents immediately give them away as not posh, from the wrong part of the country.

Even now, the UK media still treats some celebrities from the working class (like Louis) with a classist condescension. Louis is often assumed not to be capable of writing his own songs, not intelligent enough to have led One Direction, not knowledgeable enough to be aware of pop music history or to choose his inspirations. The biases are never stated outright, but often implied. It makes me laugh that Louis says he doesn’t include Easter eggs in his lyrics, because there are plenty of statements in his narrative music videos.

In the FitF era, I’ve loved every single music video. The unifying factor for me is how utterly beautiful, elegant, intelligent the videos are. Not a shot is wasted. The filmmakers take advantage to edit every second of the videos precisely and beautifully; the lighting and colors are exquisite. They are a revelation to watch.

#silver tongues mv #louis tomlinson

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graciliss · 1 year

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Young Cadaver's Foxtrot - short story out now!

surprise everyone! I finally released some writing 🥴 this is obviously just yk. a small thing but it's a story I've kinda had lying around for a while and since it otherwise was gonna decay in my docs anyways I thought "fuck it, why not post it."

you can read the story right here!

it's a short horror story detailing a teen named luke and his brother, noah's move to a new neighbourhood and a mysterious line of dancing children spotted in the woods near their new home. the phenomenon and events following it fundamentally shake luke and his family.

feedback is much appreciated! below the cut you'll find some of my own commentary on the story, but please do read things first as this contains the themes and means of interpretation I personally put forth for this.

additionally if anybody wants me to post it on Tumblr too please let me know.

first of all I'm mad I spelled the word 'cadaver' wrong for the title page 💀 I only learned recently that it's cadaver and not cadavre so I'm malding. I'm so professional (/s)

however. onto actually author's notes:

the process

the idea kind of came to me all at once, really. it was roughly a year ago, I was at work and Kikuo's Corpse Dance was looped in my head while doing tasks and the ideas came from there. it was one of those stories that seemed a lot cooler in my head as fragmented key scenes LMAO. needless to say I wasted zero time getting the plot jotted down, and I believe I managed to finish the core story in a matter of two or three days.

what took me so long was the editing lol. the editing of this story was kind of hellish, with me trying to snip a few things out and failing to do so. however, the main change was the characterisation of noah.

he was written too.... normally in the beginning, and with the direction I was planning to go for the story, a relatively well-adjusted kid would not be the kind of person I had in mind as a victim to the dancing frenzy. instead, I decided upon writing him as already being established to be rather unstable.

what I additionally changed from the first draft was the dance itself. it seemed too comprehensible, too executable in the first draft (and I didn't want it to resemble Kikuo's MV too much). other than this, most changes were minor.

the ideas and themes

I had several concepts swirling about in my head while writing and editing this, though I don't know how I feel about the execution.

the main ones at play here, I'd say, are suicide, its signs leading up to it and the aftermath. you already know what happened to noah, and you now need to watch it unfold. the signs leading up to everything are obvious as a reader and is purposefully made to be agonising in this way.

additionally, there's luke and the fact that he was a bitter, angsty 15 year old. he makes incredibly stupid decisions... because he's 15. the amazing thing is I can blame everything on that (/j), and you then get the commentary of a now 20 year old luke on top of it, along with the guilt he continues to feel for everything, including things that ultimately were out of his control and not really his fault.

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this commentary isn't really coherent icl. however I hope it does provide a little more insight to my writing process at the very least 👍 enjoy

#horror #horror writing #short horror story #short story #horror content #writing #creative writing #writers on tumblr #creepypasta #creepypasta story #my writing

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youngshiney · 1 year

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how i would run sm: NCT edition

this may be the longest post in this series, if only bc of how large the group is. i think instead of breaking things up year by year, it'll be in two parts. first part is the overarching structure and lore and the second will be more of a speculative section about what units i would make. that said: let's get into it

part one, the concept: neo tech is actually an interesting concept and theres a lot you can do with futurism, cyber aesthetic, etc. its a topic that can cover aesthetic, musical direction, album visuals, pretty much every aspect of the dynamic. now that being said, if you want to have lore with this kind of thing, i think it needs to be simple-ish. what i mean by simple is having a setting that is unique but not too complicated while also leaving room for the integration into a larger story (ie smcu/kwangya in this case). so keeping that in mind, and reiterating the idea of nct members being anyone anywhere at any time, i propose that the overarching nct world be a digital one.

so jumping ahead to the first song temporarily, i would have had 7th Sense serve as sort of an intro video to the nct world, not just the members. itd be sort of like a vcr where theres a lot of storytelling and the plot would go something like this: the members in the song are going about their daily lives missing something, finding clues to the NCity, and it ends with them meeting up in the digital world. some examples of what kind of story i mean include the SuperM SuperOne personal teasers, Cravity intro vcrs with the comet, the Loona Butterfly mv, and the Chuang 2020 theme song mv. we'll get into more specifics when the unit section starts

i think most of the nct content and mvs taking place in this digital world would be a good way to have the experimental music and mvs sm wants while also allowing for some kind of story and lore to take place in the background. this will especially come in handy for tying the groups together in a larger framework

second part, the units: this will be controversial perhaps, and has definitely been unpopular in the past, but there should be no fixed units of nct. hear me out.

the idea of anyone anywhere anytime should mean that we dont have a rigid structure for the group and honestly it probably is a negative for their careers that they are in such a set group. if youre going to have a group with this many members (speaking as the current 22 members), having set units doesnt allow for every member to shine and gain recognition. i think nct would benefit more from having smaller groups (2-5) doing more content than trying to push out 1/2 albums each year for all three units. these small groups would allow for more diversity in sound, more members to have an impact, more creativity and member input on the music, and better resting times/better pay for everyone involved.

7th Sense: i think this being the intro song makes the most sense and i do agree with some of the member choices. i think the sound is interesting and gives a unique vibe to the group. for the mv, id do like i said earlier but heres more details. i think it would be interesting to show the members in their daily lives and how different yet similar they are, mirroring the members themselves. i think playing on their specific strengths would be a good way to show the group and their own charms at the same time. for Taeyong, id put the focus on his compassion and love of animals. for Ten, id show off his dancing and his art skills. for Mark, i think showing the contrast between his youth and his skills is the best way to go. for Yuta, id show off his athleticism and his dancing abilities. for Taeil, id focus on his friendly personality and his singing. id also try to show how international the group is through these members, really cementing the anywhere anytime aspect.

the reason i chose those five is partially due to bias but also due to role. Taeyong has to be in the intro to nct bc he IS nct, hes the face of it and the reason it exists as it does today. Ten is easily one of the most talented members in the group in a variety of areas, and represents a multitude of places in the world. Mark is one of, if not the most, skilled rappers in the group and having him showcase the rap talent in the intro makes the most sense (also long ass ride is iconic). here's where my picks come in. i chose Yuta bc he has the smooth and sultry tone that the song needs (and personally, i think hes underutilized which everyone knows bc of how often i rant about him). Taeil is a really great vocal and would be able to do the high parts easily. the reason i swapped out Doyoung and Jaehyun is bc a.) i dont think the song needs both of them and b.) i dont feel like they fit the vibe of the song that much? i think theyre much better suited for the pop Exo vibe of Without You than a darker tone.

since i wouldnt do set units, heres what i would do. i would make the current units, but less often. id have the members focus more on solo, duos, and small groups. they should do what they do during the nct 20xx where they mix things up and make music outside of their usual groups.

some specific units i think would be good: Yuta/Jungwoo/Mark, Chenle/Kun/Renjun, Yuta/Ten/Shotaro, Taeil/Xiaojun, Yangyang/Sungchan/Haechan, Doyoung/Kun/Taeil, Jisung/Johnny/Jungwoo this isn't exhaustive bc you can make units for every member and every combination, just some i think would work well or want to see.

i think having the members pick and chose groups more would be a better move than trying to make set units for the 22 members. i think thats why theres such an overworking problem and a weird pay distribution, on top of opportunities outside of music for the groups and as solo members. Mark and Haechan would get to rest way more if they werent constantly doing music for two groups, which is kinda why they were going to graduate from dream in the first place. i dont agree with graduation concepts, so i think the mix and match concept is a good compromise to that. overall, my priority is fairness and the ability for members to have opportunities which i hope comes across in this post. i think this is everything i think about for the group, but if i have anything else to cover, i'll make a follow up. except for the tie-ins since thats a whole separate post

#how i would run sm series #hope yall enjoy!

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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Hello there😊, wanna ask you a question that is roaming in my head!! and raising my anxiety. These days, we are only getting the videos and the photos that Hybe/BH wants to show us. Most of these are edited but sometimes I feel that something is wrong with Jimin(don't get me wrong). Like it's always JK who is showing much affection to Jimin but JM became kinda quite in Jikook. What do you think about it? Does Jimin want a break from their relationship or it's just because he doesn't want to show us the truth? ?

It's just my thoughts and these thoughts are giving me stress!! I love them so much🥺that's why I'm tensed.

Lolololololololololol

I agree with a lot of your observations here but do you really think JK acts like a happy bunny these days in his Fantasia side swoop strutting all over the place like a 1955 gay man because he thinks his boyfriend is about to break up with him???

Jimin is a bit introverted in my opinion and if you aren't used to seeing that side of him you might think something is off with him or that he is sad or angry or this or that every now and then.

Anything could be inducing his moods- including but not limited to his relationship with JK. Personally I don't think JK is the one leaning forward in their relationship this time around. It's Jimin.

Similar to how Jungkook is not always introverted. We could be reading that as him leaning forward in their dynamic if we not careful. As I've said a couple of times in my blogs no one is a 100% anything. We are all introverted to a degree or extroverted to a degree and sometimes with Jikook that plays out in their dynamic.

When you say lately it's always JK showing much affection to Jimin- I love it but

Don't let the PJMs catch you chilee. They finna jump you. Lmho.

JK does show love and affection to JM. That's a fact. Jikook is not a one sided relationship. So thank you for at least seeing that.

If you feel there's something off with Jimin then JK taking care of him and showing much affection to him should be the appropriate response. No? There is nothing wrong with him taking the lead and catering to JM especially since Jimin often gets berated and attacked when he does the catering to in their dynamic.

Let's normalize Jikook loving eachother.

Personally I don't think JK is the one leaning forward in their relationship. In spite of the introverted phase he is in, I think Jimin is the one piloting things this season post the October era. I mean it's pretty much obvious.

Jimin has been on his Jikook agenda for a hot minute now. Why do you think antis are mad?

Not to be that person, but I think I pretty much theorized when 'October' was happening that whoever was 'at fault' was gonna come swinging hard on their Jikook agenda when that phase was over. We are in the post October phase. Do the maths.

And I know a lot of people have been mad at Jk for acting 'cold' and and aloof, 'uncomfortable' blah blah blah but I just think he is just chill and laid back. He put the ball in Jimin's court and it's up to him to decide what they do and how they interact especially with their glass closet now and I think that's been weighing on him too. I'll talk more about this in the Minimoni post. Sigh.

For Jimin, he's gone through a phase of reevaluation and reassessment since October. He bought a second house. He's talked about cutting off friends, trying to find his voice or try new styles- something deep and melancholic, listening to emotional songs, working out, trying to build muscles etc.

There's a lot happening around him too. For one his members keep churning music in a language he is barely conversant in. That can be challenging especially for someone like him who doesn't like to do things half assed.

He is taking on new challenges- don't know how well he is or was mentally prepared for it. For someone like Tae and Jk who had already dabbled in English Albums and singles I think they are pretty much happy about the direction the band is headed in and were very much prepared to take on this challenge.

I think they are all challenging themselves as a group in this era.

I'm not sure how he feels about the others constantly talking about that they are old and can't do this and can't do that- Jimim is 25. I don't think he is that old. He loves his youth and loves to celebrate it and make the most of it. Young forever.

I can imagine the toll it might take on him to constantly hear that he is old and can't do this or that by his members and netizens.

He loves the stage. Loves to dance. I mean look at how hard he went with his dance in the PTD MV. Hopefully in 2022 things can go back to normal.

Bangtan went from we are getting old to we are fossils in 0.2 seconds it gives me whiplash.

What I'm saying is, there is a lot going on in his personal and professional life as well as his social life. All of that could be contributing to his mood lately.

As to whether he wants a break from his relationship I think he is the best person to answer that.

People who don't know what they want or who subconsciously want to end their relationships often self sabotage their relationships in their waking life. Sometimes too they are just insecure and immature and don't know how to keep the things they want and end up sabotaging themselves. I do think JM went through phases like that in the past- you know which eras I'm talking about.

But I do think he is in the drivers seat now and the ball is in his court to decide whatever he wants from their relationship and how he wants to work it.

I think Kook is equally in a place where he would be ok with whatever Jimin decides- granted he would shed a few tears and write sad songs if Jimin decides to break up with him. He and Taylor Swift about to be Bffs. Lol.

Wow, my chest hurts. Sweet baby Jesus bind Jikook together with some Gorilla glue cos I can't if they break up for good😭😭😭

If Jimin wants Jk to be doing the flowers and the trips and the birthday posts and the songs, and the coded tweets and Weverse posts, I think he would gladly do it.

I don't think Jk is afraid to speak Jimin's love language. If Jimin doesn't want him, his loss.

Please I'm hurting. I don't like that😫😫😫

Jk can be a lot. He can be intense and yes I do think that used to overwhelm Jimin sometimes especially when he was constantly lowkey high key borderline outing their relationship left right left every chance he got💀

But dude is repented😒

Like I said, I think he's been pretty much laid back and chill for a while now. Nothing intense and 'problematic.' You can tell he's been going out of his way to not fuck things up for his own sanity, the group's and especially JM's sakes. Why then would Jimin want a break from him🤺

FREE JK.

This don't look like someone who wants a break anywhere to me but I guess time will tell. You just never know with Jimin.

You let this man tattoo your initials on his ring finger scaring off potential suitors only for you to turn around and dump him that's just wickedness🙁

You have this man wrapped around your finger jumping through hoops literally for you what more do you want him to do???? He better not start his shenanigans. He is getting wedded to that man whether he likes it or not. They are doing the whole church and traditional wedding thingy I swear to God🤺

Do I have to remind him he promised to go to the Moon with JK? Sir don't trigger me this early morning.

I'm finna channel my inner tuktukker on him and drag him to the alter kicking and screaming. Jungkook deserves his happily ever after too. It's 2021. They both better leave that ghetto shit behind. I knew I should have ordered that Gorilla glue. The fuck!

GOLDY

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mxnrly · 3 years

Text

the red house, changkyun

⠀

slight nsfw, thriller !

I wrote this like a year ago, when this song came out and I fell in love with the mv and the lyrics. If you want to see what the song is, here it is. Either way, I'm editing this at 2 am because I felt the need of posting it. I originally wrote this in spanish and it really took me a while sjdjs I hope you like it tho!

tw: not too explicit nsfw, unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamic (both are switches, y’all see), pet name, mentions of blood.

wc: 6.8k

⠀

An idiot.

That's what I liked to call the kid who lived across the street. An undoubtedly attractive boy. Gorgeous and with a sensual aura like no other. He had an attractive look, and his presence was always full of mystery. He looked like a demon brought from hell, always wearing those dark denim pants that stuck to his legs, a white long-sleeved shirt and a leather jacket set with the logo of a serpent crossed with two swords.

His hair was always messy, because it was straight and he used to run his hand through it at all times. Not that I was constantly looking at him but, it was a twitch I had gotten used to seeing since I had known him.

The boy had been my neighbor for two years now, and every Saturday it was the same, he would leave the house and not come back until the next day. Whenever I told my best friend about him leaving, he told me to just stay away from him, that if I really wanted to keep his trust I should just forget about that boy and move on with my life. But, it was so easy to say or think about it, but not do it. Somehow, being neighbors was making my life difficult because now it seemed that my walls wanted to know about him too and they were getting thinner so that I could hear from when he was leaving until when he arrived.

My best friend's older brother, Jooheon, was the neighbor's best friend. I knew this because I had already seen him in front of the boy's door with his car, a black '69 GTO convertible and a beer in his hand. The two of them got along great because every day since I lived there, they always went out at the same time, no matter what.

That night I was partying with my best friend and a girl with whom I had started to form a friendship because she was in the art department, although she was just a year younger than us.

“You're crazy if you think we're going to let you go.” And there I was, another Saturday night wanting to go wherever my neighbors were.

“I see you've been very interested in him for a long time, what do you think they are doing?” asked the girl while Jooheon and the idiot went inside their house.

“I really don't know, but since he came to this place I want-”

“You want nothing, God, stop making her get any ideas." scolded the boy to the other girl.

The room suddenly became silent, and then somehow, I started to feel my throat and stomach warm. “I don't understand why you don't want me to go.”

“We've talked about this a million times. I'm just protecting you.”

“But from what? I won't know if you don't let me come closer.” My voice was getting louder and louder until it exploded. “You won't let me get close but I know you're as curious as I am, Jooheon is your brother!”

“Jooheon comes back every morning smelling of alcohol and cheap women's perfume. There are always cigarettes in his car and I've found underwear in the glove compartment, do you really want to continue with that curiosity? I don't know exactly what those two do but, believe me, they don't go to a lake to drink and have fun, they have their plans, do strange things and then come back as if nothing had happened.”

“Didn't you try to tell your mother?" asked the younger girl, suddenly causing the boy to deny instantly.

“One of the rules Heon gave me was that I had to keep silence, first of all if, I wanted to continue living with him. Until I'm legal, I can't buy an apartment on my own." he said with a shrug.

Silence reigned again somehow. There was only the faint music of an American artist whom we did not really know.

Staying out until the morning, I can hear the door.

I can smell all the whiskey and the smoke on your breath.

A chill ran down my back and I sighed. “I'm sleepy guys, the day was really exhausting from the beginning and we have a test on Monday so I want to take tomorrow off at dawn to study." I said faster than I planned.

Because tonight, sleep was the last thing in my plans.

Once they had left my house, I went to my room to change my clothes. I put on something comfortable to keep up with them. With my shoes on, I left my house taking my car keys. The boys were leaving the house so I had to hide quickly behind the vehicle. I felt the heaviness in my chest from doing something against my morals.

The sound of the GTO engine took me out of my thoughts. They came quietly out of the parking lot, giving me time to get into my car and start it. My heart started pounding but I stayed focused and started following the boys' car with some distance. They were getting further and further away from the circle of places I knew, but my curiosity seemed to dominate at this point over reason. I knew that was a bad sign, but I had gone far enough to take it back.

The car quickly drove off the road into some black buildings. Now, I knew that if I followed them in there I would look very obvious, so I drove past the place and saw that there was no way out. They were parked in front of a wall that was purple because of the neon light up there. Debating whether to go or not, I finally turned off the vehicle and started getting out of it.

I walked to the large green door which was lit by the purple light, noticing that, from the wall, a strange vibration could be felt. Music. That's all it could be.

I opened the door and instantly smelled the stench of nicotine and liquor. There was a certain mixture of lotions and perfumes that made everything more intense. The door closed behind me, making me shudder. Hell, I wanted to go home.

Resigned, I began to walk around the place watching my feet because there seemed to be unevenness everywhere. The place was painted red, although it was because of the coloured lights on the sides of different walls. Red was the only thing you saw, everything was tinted and it seemed to be a much scarier place than it really was.

I took the first glass I saw, smelling the strong smell of tequila and mint. I grimaced a little and took a sip, as I put it back in its place again. I couldn't see the boys anywhere and that was starting to scare me. What if they were somewhere else and had deceived me?

I was overthinking the situation, when I felt a strong pull on my arm. Someone had taken me in a very firm manner. Before I could protest, the person who had alienated me showed his face.

And I saw him. I was dazed at seeing his face tinted by the red lights.

“I told you not to come, why don't you ever listen to me?” my best friend, the one who always prohibited me to come to where his brother was, asked almost above the level of the music. My mind was beginning to wander, but I held on.

“What do you mean, don't come? You had told me that you had no idea what they were doing, and now it turns out that you are one of them?”

The boy rubbed his face lightly and took me by the shoulders. “You're crazy, they're going to kill you. Get out of here, now.”

That made my world stop. Kill?

“What are you saying?” But before he could even answer, the light went out making the music go away, causing all the people to scream. Several people beside me ran past, knocking me to the ground, and I feared the worst.

I squatted in fear without really knowing what to do, when I suddenly stopped and hit someone running in my direction. I felt a camera flash in my face and my stomach turned over. The flash went off leaving me stunned. The person took my hand and started running towards what appeared to be the other side of the room, opposite the direction of where the exit door was. Suddenly the screaming stopped and the door lock was heard being set. My legs shook and I swallowed hard. I didn't know anything about self-defense, so I thought about the only thing I was supposed to protect myself and that was my car keys. I grabbed, with each key I had between my fingers, making a fist with spikes in case this person got too far.

Then the light came, but not the artificial light. A natural light. A candle.

I looked at the back of the person who had lit the device, noticing a snake on his back. Oh God.

“You're lucky I brought you this far. People usually die in the state you were in, not to mention that it's your first time in the red house.”

My mind was spinning. Death? Red house?

“I'm sorry, I…”

“I know you don't understand anything, you don't have to worry, (Y/N). Things are simple…”

“Wait wait, how do you know my name?”

The boy smiled, but only because he didn't answer my question. “I am Changkyun, so we are even.”

A small silence formed. There were hasty footsteps on the other side of the door and desperate hands trying to find a room, I supposed.

“Quiet," he said, "no one is going to come in, but they can’t know that we’re here.”

“So, are you going to explain to me what this is all about?” I asked, anxiety in my voice.

“Listen, this place isn't for people like you," he said with a dark look in his eye. “Every Saturday there is a massive party where people come to play something like hide and seek," he said with a touch of mockery, but there was more to his voice than that. “There are people who are the "seekers", those who look for people to catch them, when the lights go out, people have ten minutes to run and hide without being able to leave the place, and when those ten minutes are over…”

A loud noise that made the whole building rumble was heard loud and clear. Changkyun smiled and looked at me. “It is time to play.”

The boy reached inside his jacket and looked at me before taking the goatee. “Don't leave here until I come back for you. Don't open the door for anyone, understand?”

My nod did not reach his eyes for he had already left the room and locked it again before closing the door behind him. I turned around to look around, finding a couch that looked warm, a rug in the middle of the room, and a mini-bar. I didn't want to wonder what the room was for because there were other strange surfaces.

I sighed as I sat on the couch with the candle in my hand. The idiot was into this kind of game, but I still didn't understand enough, what did he mean when he said it was time to play? The idea that this was a deadly game haunted me, but it couldn't be that murky. I unconsciously denied it by huddling more in my place. A few screams were heard outside the room, causing me to shiver. Good Lord, what was all that about?

I couldn't just stand here, what if I'd just been set up? Yes! That had to be it.

I approached the door slowly, removing the latch and preparing to leave when I felt the door open from the outside. It was Changkyun rushing in, panting without facing me. I looked at his back with curiosity, without blowing out the candle, he turned to see me. I could see the drops of what appeared to be blood on his shirt and face.

My body froze.

"Run"

My movements went faster than I thought trying to go around him to escape through the door that was still open, however a gust of wind hit my face when I noticed the door closing with twice the speed I was going. I closed my eyes in fear and lowered my head. Was I really going to die now?

“Raise your head, we must get out of here," he said, puzzling me.

“Aren’t you gonna kill me?” I asked, but he didn't answer. He walked past me and opened the only window in the room wide, tore the spring and squatted on the frame. And out of nowhere, I lost sight of him.

I screamed as I saw him fall. Rushing to the frame, I saw him standing in the grass on that side of the place. I wondered how come we were on the second floor if, in my memory, I hadn't walked up the stairs.

“Jump!” He shouted from below, showing his arms in front of him.

“You're crazy!” I shouted in annoyance looking behind me. There was no way he could make me jump.

“They're going to kill you. Come here.”

“How do I know you won't kill me?” I asked, scared, my throat tightening. I looked at the free fall I would have and felt the air get stuck in my chest.

”We'll go home, I promise, I'll tell you everything, but please come with me," he begged, and it was the first time I'd seen him this worried. He always used to look relaxed and without any worry in him, but the reality just now was different.

My shoulders fell in place. I would die anyway. The screams kept coming from the door, when it suddenly opened. The latch had never been set and now it was just me and death. I looked over my shoulder, noticing a figure approaching.

“Please!" was the last thing I heard before I fell freely through the door frame.

And everything went black.

A severe headache was constantly poking at my head. The back of my eyes hurt, as if I had been looking at the artificial light for a long time. I was cold and somehow I could think it was midnight. Hearing noise in the distance, I sat down where I had been lying. It was my living room, but there was someone else. My heartbeat quickly started to increase when I remembered a little of what had happened.

“You woke up. Here, I made you some tea, but I'm not good at anything that has to do with cooking so I don't think it tastes like anything," said the idiot, suddenly appearing with a half smile, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort.

I tasted it and indeed, it tasted like nothing but bitter water, but I didn't tell him. I just took a deep breath and looked at it. He was looking at me so intently that I almost forgot what had happened. The stains on his shirt gave him away and he wasn't wearing his jacket.

“What happened," I asked, holding the cup in both hands so that he could give me some warmth. Changkyun sighed and sat down beside me. “You fainted, I think from the fright and the mixed emotions. I had no car, so I went through your pockets and found your keys and brought us home.”

Listening at his statement, I took a look outside my house seeing the car perfectly parked in the driveway. “Did you put your hands in my pants?” I asked with a scowl.

The boy instantly raised his hands in fright. “No, the keys were in your sweatshirt," he said, clearing his throat after that. “I'm sorry you were there, you really can't go back…”

“I want to know everything about that place, though…” Changkyun looked at me with doubt, and I put the cup down on the small coffee table. “You said you would explain everything if I threw myself out of the window, and here we are so start talking.”

“Well,” he was a bit quiet after that, as if trying to find the right words. “every Saturday there's a massive party at that place. Everyone knows about that party because of its high class alcohol and good vibes, but everything has its price. When it's eleven o'clock, the lights go out and people have to hide, of course, the ones who know what the game is about, the ones who don't, just run around senselessly. You have ten minutes to hide wherever you want in the house and when those ten minutes are up, the seekers come out to have some fun. What we call, "the wolf." Have you ever heard the nursery rhyme of, "We'll play in the forest while the wolf is away? Well, that's what it's about. They go out at ten past eleven to kill anyone they can get their hands on, lights out. When another ten minutes go by, the lights come back on and the party's over.”

My surprised face seemed to alarm him as he got nervous and looked down. “Once you enter the red house parties, you can't stop attending, because after that day, they know all about you and will do his best to see you die. The red house is a secret, no one should tell the police, and there has to be a winner. One that's left alive among all of us…”

“Then you and Jooheon…”

“Yes, he and I went into those parties three years ago, but after the first one we were as scared as anyone else. We left intact and tried to just forget about it and move on with our lives, but the seekers were smarter. They started sending us letters threatening to come back or kill anyone we came in contact with. We tried to move but nothing worked, so... We had no choice but to play the game.”

“But why are you the one who's full of blood? I could bet you're carrying a knife in your jacket right now.” I accused him, staring at his stained shirt.

“I'm carrying a knife because we've formed a clan. We're seven people from different places and ages who are willing to kill the seekers to end this nonsense, but... They have lots of henchmen, too, and every Saturday it seems to get harder.”

I looked at the clock on the wall in front of us striking twelve in the morning. I felt somehow agitated and helpless. “Jooheon’s little brother told me that you were beginning to be interested in going to the parties, but he never let you because we knew what you would be exposed to. He is an ally, not a member of the clan, but because of Jooheon he ended up in trouble. You were really warned, you have to run away, or dig a hole and stay there…’

‘What if I fight with you?’ I said but I felt I should have kept quiet. His gaze became darker as his breathing became heavier.

“I would never let you expose yourself to that, you are crazy.” His tone was so authoritative that I did not know whether I wanted to challenge him or obey his order.

“Listen, you said that somehow the seekers know who you are. Before I jumped out the window a man saw me, they know who I am already... I might as well die so let me fight for my life.”

“I can't let those bastards hurt you.” his voice seemed to get deeper as time went by. “I won't let them touch a single strand of your hair.”.

His attitude took me by surprise. “Changkyun…” I tried to negotiate with him, come to an agreement.

My voice was interrupted as I was whipped on my back, with both of his hands around my wrists pinching any possible movement. I had him so close, God. He smelled of pure masculinity... of heavy, dark perfume mixed with sweat. I inhaled without wanting to look too harassing, but it was impossible to go unnoticed by the boy's eyes, who smiled so charmingly.

“You are not going to die... Not tonight, not ever," he whispered close to my lips. I stuck out my tongue as a reflection and that drew the boy's gaze upon me. His eyes connected with mine, directing them a few milliseconds to my lips and back to my eyes, as if to say let me kiss you.

I inhaled hard again filling my lungs with his scent, starting to feel the weight of his lips on mine. I closed my eyes on contact and I could swear I had tasted an aphrodisiac. The texture was so similar to silk but the depth with which he took me was so mesmerizing that my brain threatened to fade again. I opened my eyes, noticing her eyelashes lying so thinly on his cheeks, which were slightly flushed. His black bangs tickled my eyebrows because of the closeness. Slowly he let go of my wrists, giving me way to touching his shoulders and running my arms around his neck, as I felt his muscles contracting. One of his hands went down to my waist in circles, while the other remained steady on my cheek, not letting its weight fall entirely.

His back muscles tensed and relaxed as my tongue gently traced his lower lip, seeking to deepen the kiss. Changkyun gladly agreed to begin a delightful dance, each taking his time to delve into the other's body. Changkyun pressed his body against mine, causing me to gasp, which separated me from the kiss, causing us to open our eyes to see each other. His lips were tinged with a light and beautiful red, while I happened to notice a glint above his left eye. I reached out with one hand to clear his bangs and found a striking detail on eyebrow. A captivating perching that lit a flame inside me.

I brought him back to my lips and we enjoyed each other's company all night long. Maybe this game thing could be a reason to see each other more often.

I woke up in my room, in a horrible heat. My neck and back were sweating, which made me instantly sick. It was 7:00 in the morning and it was already so damn hot. I took a shower and went into the living room to find Changkyun's body lying on the couch. His jacket was on one of the kitchen chairs, so I went over to check it out. I reached into the first pocket, instantly pulling out the knife I knew he was carrying. It was partially covered in blood. Feeling an electric shock down my spine, I couldn't help but sigh deeply. At any rate, Changkyun was the good guy, right?

I found his cell phone, but I felt his stare on the side of my head. I turned around to see that Changkyun had woken up but not only that, he was looking directly at me.

“Are you looking for something that proves the opposite of what I showed you yesterday?”

“I am.” I said, nodding.

“Damn it, I thought everything was all right," he said in a hoarse voice, snatching his cell phone from me.

I frowned and shrugged. “You always have to be careful.”

That seemed to insult him as he looked at me skeptically. Not giving a second glance at him, I headed to the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. The boy quickly went to the refrigerator to pour himself the same drink. I noticed the smell of last night with more intensity and turned around to see it. He wasn't wearing a shirt.

The liquid froze in my throat making me feel the sudden acidity, causing my body to cough slightly. The image that I had in my kitchen was worthy of admiration but I simply could not stand it at seven in the morning. Changkyun laughed and tapped my back.

“I'm sorry to surprise you, it's just that it's hot," he said as if it were the most normal thing to do. My eyes rolled back in their narcissism and I headed for my living room.

“Don't you want to take a shower?”

The boy moved his eyebrows suggestively. “Do you want to see me all wet and naked?”

My face turned a deep red and I had to refrain from throwing the remaining juice in the glass. “At your house, you idiot.”

“Yes, try to fix your horniness.” He said, taking his clothes. “I'll be back in a minute, princess.”

I fake gagged at the pet name and rolled my eyes. He put his shirt back on and left my house giving me time to breathe. God, couldn't I be in the same place as him for one more minute without thinking about indecent things?

After a few minutes of searching for something to watch on netflix, I settled down on my couch when the doorbell rang.

“It's still open.” I yelled because I assumed it was Kyun, but no one came in. Strange. I got up from my place opening the door, finding Jooheon’s brother.

“Can I come in?" he asked hesitantly. I looked at him in surprise, and without saying anything to him, I moved away from the door to let him in. “I only came to apologize for having lied to you about not knowing anything. I also came to see if you were all right.” His look never connected with mine, which bothered me to some extent. I crossed my arms and looked at him.

“I don't understand why you did it, but I guess it doesn't matter now, it just matters to get out of that silly game.”

“Did Changkyun explain everything to you?” I nodded and cleared my throat.

“Yes, he brought me home.”

He played with his hands and reached into his jacket bag. Taking out a small envelope, he gave it to me. “Don't trust anyone.” He whispered before he left, making me scoff. Yeah right, look who says that.

Once the boy left my house, I took the envelope in both hands and sighed. There was no sign of Changkyun returning from his home, so I tore the white envelope and found a half-wrinkled note with somewhat illegible handwriting, but which clearly said, "Welcome to the game.” with my name in the bottom right corner. There was an extra note that made my heart start beating fast. I was beginning to think that my best friend, if I could still call him that, had more ideas about the game than others might have. I shook my head and sighed, I couldn't do that to Changkyun and Jooheon, they had somehow kept an eye on me all this time.

The doorbell of my house rang, making me shudder, to quickly put the letter in the first drawer I saw. I took three deep breaths and then approached the door. I opened it to find the boy with a purple hoodie and a gray pantsuit. I smiled at him as calmly as possible and invited him in.

Saturday again. I had contacted my best friend several times after that letter. He assured me that he did not know absolutely about its contents but I knew that he was lying to me. Now he would take me to the building, winning over Changkyun whom I had to refuse the offer.

Speaking of Changkyun, we had both had meetings at the other's house, more casual than I would have thought. He rarely went over the line and always used to make the times much more comfortable. We had not reached the stage where we had gone to bed for any purpose other than sleep, and somehow he felt that he was waiting for something.

At ten o'clock, the car parked in front of my house. I was just about to leave when I noticed my best friend coming into my house at a fast pace with a box in his hands. He scanned my body, noticing my red satin dress and my silver heels. He smiled and took my hand.

“I think I have something for you," he said, pulling out a black dress that was supposed to be attached to my body, halfway up my thigh and angel wings of the same color. I looked at him skeptically and he laughed. “Come on, it's part of the deal if you want to come to the party after all, and I know Changkyun will not resist you with this on.”

I took the garment in my hands and took a big breath of air. Would he really?

I didn't think about it anymore. Going to my room and putting on my clothes. A chill ran down my back but I did not let the feeling of fear win over me, just taking a couple of deep breaths before returning to the room where my friend was sitting on the couch with his cell phone in his hands. When he saw me, he smiled broadly and took my hand to walk on my feet. “Damn, you look beautiful. Let’s go now, there’s a boy you must conquer tonight.”

That night I felt that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life but at the same time I thought… Do I really have to do this to come out alive? Could the game end after all?

We entered the building. The walls were moving at the sound of the song playing currently...

My breath got stuck in my throat when I located the boy I was there for. Changkyun saw me with such a penetrating and seductive look. He was wearing leather jeans alongside a short-sleeved satin shirt with different colored patterns, purple, blue, yellow and red. There was a chain on his pants and from his neck fell a necklace of what appeared to be a gold chain. His hair was disheveled, although it had a specific direction and that was his right, raised slightly upwards allowing me to see his forehead and his piercing to perfection. As we connected glances, he smiled openly at me. My throat closed for a moment, leaving me breathless, but I managed to look normal to his scrutinizing gaze.

Apologize, never apologize

You hate the way I lie

So here you go, I'm being honest

“Hey, are you a fallen angel?" he asked, touching his fingertips to the wings tied behind my back. I smiled and denied that question.

“No, I only came to find a demon with which to play tricks in this destroyed world." I said, approaching him tentatively. At my boldness, I noticed how his gaze darkened a little.

“Then it's your lucky day, because I'll be the one to deny you entry to heaven, honey.”

Narcissist, come on, give us a kiss

Let's have some fun with it

It's kinda sweet...

Both of us, with the look of some children with a new toy, starting to head for the same place. It was still early, so the seekers and his henchmen didn't worry us at all. Once inside the room we had been in a week ago, Changkyun locked the door, his back at me. At the sight of his legs inside those leather pants, I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip. Thoughts of impurity began to tingle in my mind, causing my temperature to rise constantly.

Once the boy began to approach me, I felt that I still had a way out and that everything could change at any moment. That I still had time to take it back. But then he planted his lips on mine and all I could think about was "Shit."

The situation was getting deeper and more exciting. It tasted bitter, as if it had tasted blood itself before it kissed me. The slight taste of alcohol flooded my taste buds as his tongue investigated my palate. Our tongues brushed against each other, sending shivers down my spine. Jesus.

His scent was beginning to make me dizzy. Too manly and addictive, it made me want more, like nicotine straight into my bloodstream. I gasped for air, which the boy agreed to do by separating himself from me. In less time than I thought, my back was on the couch in the room, my eyes looking directly into his irises that I could hardly discern from the lack of light, since the only light there was the red LED light that was all over the building. His skin was slightly pinkish. His touch traced my figure in an exquisite manner, making me feel a warm path where he posed his fingertips.

Four in the morning, you're changing the locks

How could you do this to me?

I placed my hands around his neck and brought my lips close to his, nibbling on the soft, tender skin. His moles covered some extremities of his body provoking me to mark each and every one with marks that could become darker for the next morning. He was mine. Changkyun was mine for the night.

I only love you when you don't love me

Oh, baby, so, why do you love me?

His hands pulled the wings off my back in a slow and torturous manner causing the air to get stuck in my lungs with no escape. His lips went to my collarbones making me separate from him. His tongue began to trace the exposed skin smiling on the way. With his hands, he slipped the straps over my shoulders to drag the dress to my lower body. That's when I leaned on the bed with my feet pushing my hips up so he could finish pulling the garment out.

He smiled at the sight and stood on his knees on either side of my waist to remove his shirt. Every button he undoes means one more step towards one of my deepest fantasies. His torso was exposed, with only his chain resting lazily on his torso. His marked abdomen prompted me to run my tongue over it to taste his sweet flesh and be ecstatic about the ragweed.

I sat up on my elbows looking at the belt that clung to his pants, asking permission with my eyes to help him with that task. Changkyun took the hint and laid down beside me, letting out a gasp. I smiled as it dawned on me that we were at the edge of the cliff, but if it was with him, I would give it my all.

I sat on his lap, feeling his bulge against my core. I gasped at the sensation and made my way to unbuckle the black belt with the silver buckle. I removed the garment in two moves and now, I needed to unbutton his pants. I ran my tongue over my lower lip, directing my hands at a slow speed to tempt his patience, which did not seem to last long. The boy raised his hip to me, grunting underneath.

“What's the matter, kitty, do you want me to help you with your torturous pain?" I asked in a voice that was as if in velvet as I squeezed the right places to make him delirious. “Learn how to beg, darling.”

My index finger began to sway over the boy's covered member, which drove him crazy. He looked at me with his lust filled eyes. “Do it. Please.”

He mumbled that last word, more against his will. With a smile, I removed the button from his leather jeans, dragging the cloth down his thighs. Then I stared at his underwear with a hungry look. The boy noticed my glance and with one movement I was at his mercy again under his body.

“Well played, angel, but in this game you must learn who is in charge," his voice so damned hoarse made my body eager with the sound. The boy took off my bra with one hand, looking agitated. My head dropped back quickly at the sensations. My center began to vibrate with the music in the background.

Without being able to wait a second longer, he removed my underwear by tapping the middle finger of his left hand on my bundle of nerves.

“God..." I hissed at the feeling of that digit, groping on forbidden ground.

The boy smiled as he took off his only remaining cloth, positioning himself on me. We looked at each other for a minute. A long minute, where I could read his eyes. Pure, raw lust.

His member was slowly and pleasantly buried inside me. My hip was raised by the reflection, making me take a big breath of air. I was not a virgin but, it had been so long and the sensation was new and delirious.

“Welcome to hell, little angel," he whispered as he began his deep pounds on me. My face broke into pure moaning and unexplained sounds as I enjoyed the sensation produced by her touch.

The moment reached its peak, approaching with a great electric shock that ran from the tips of my feet to the surface of my head. We both came in unison, creating an exquisite harmony to the contrast of his deep voice and mine. Our gasping and gasping breaths spoke for themselves. Our glances spoke what our mouths couldn't. The connection we created in that instant was so strong and powerful that I thought it would fade. The red light around us fell in a minute, leaving us in darkness. The smell of liquor and sex surrounded us without shame.

In the face of that darkness. The boy came out of me causing one last tremor. And that was the sign. I crawled to my clothes strewn over the arms of the sofa, pulling a knife from the wings of my costume.

I'm fucking crazy, you're fucking crazy, we're all fucking crazy;

I held my breath for a minute.

And then, exhaled hard.

I couldn't see anything at all, and that made everything strangely interesting. I gasped away, crawling to the edge of the sofa where the light was slightly off. And then I saw him.

I noticed how his skin glowed with sweat and his eyes darkened. The light coming in from the window helped me to identify his eyes. His torso was still naked but the bottom was on the dark side of the sofa.

“Pity angel, you decided to be seduced by the ideas of living in a world of lies.”

I drew my knife dangerously close to his naked abdomen. His breathing became faster and his heart began to beat erratically. The metal device I held in my hands began to trace his chest slowly, delineating his skin, his outline. The boy looked at me, some kind of mix between horror and pleasure on his features. Happy in how the game had turned out, I took his jaw with my free hand looking directly at him. A smile spread across my face and I instantly noticed the boy's eyes opening wide, looking up at me, like begging for mercy.

I began to apply more pressure on his chest by opening a slight cut. The air got stuck in my throat, forcing me to continue.

“Only then will we set you free. Kill the leader of the snake clan. Kill Changkyun. It's an easy job, don't you think?"

I closed my eyes trying to make the seekers boss' voice disappear from my ears. My jaw clenched tightly as I struggled with my subconscious about the real right decision.

“Please...” his voice came out in a thread of voice as I felt the burning in his chest, but maybe not because of the physical wound but because of the wound in his heart.

“Oh no," I said with a smile, denying in the process. “No. Your glory days are over, kitty.” I took the impulse, and then, to add more drama to the matter, I asked. “Your last words, Changkyun?

Great was my surprise to see him looking much darker than ever before. With a confused look on my part, I heard him say. “Do you know what they say at the end of every game?”

I jumped up and down as I felt his hand grab my wrist. He dropped me on the arm of the sofa using my own hand, now in the opposite direction, showing the edge to me. With a serious and firm look, he approached my ear whispering the words that were about to dictate my death.

“I knew you wouldn’t be brave enough. It’s time to say game over… (Y/N)”

#changkyun #im changkyun #changkyun smut #changkyun thriller #changkyun imagines #changkyun scenarios #changkyun x reader #monsta x #monsta x scenarios #monsta x smut #monsta x imagines #monsta x changkyun

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lovesanmotion · 3 years

Text

yandere!ateez fanboy series: seonghwa

When Seonghwa graduated high school, his parents asked him what he wanted as a graduation gift. Coming from a wealthy family, his parents could give him whatever he wanted. But he asked for a camera instead. His parents didn’t know why or what was a camera for, but they gave it to him without a doubt.

And lo and behold, in Seonghwa’s hands, a Canon EOS 850D.

He open his box of savings and bought more equipment such as lenses, speedlite, battery grip and ring mount adapter. Testing a couple of shots around his room, the flowers in his mother’s garden and the collection of his father’s wines before he was satisfied with his photos and he was set to set himself out.

The night before Starlight’s debut, he opened his own website YNbyHwaLight.co.kr and made a profile tab for you provided by your company - VS Media. Ever since your reveal to the world that you are debuting in Starlight as the final member, Seonghwa couldn’t get his eyes off of you. He couldn’t wait for your debut as he camped on Youtube and Naver everyday by watching past videos of you - Introduction Video, Make Meringue Cookies with Y/N and your own choreography of Streets by Doja Cat. To which he proudly beat his cock every night to.

When the sun came up the following day, Seonghwa adjusted his black face mask to perfectly conceal half of his face. He woke an all black clothing and had his equipment safely tucked inside his backpack. When he was done, he set off to the concert hall for your debut concert.

Starlight kicks off 2021 US promotions

Starlight’s Y/N tops January Brand Rankings

Starlight’s Y/N hailed as No.1 Kpop Girl Group Member For 2021

Jennie, Joy, Y/N and more: Korean Outlet Media Mentions Stars Who Sported Top Luxury Clothes For 2020

Starlight’s Y/N Glowing As New Campaign Model For Nike Air Max

Seonghwa chugged down the last of his coffee before throwing it in the bin. His third cup of coffee to be exact. 4:06 am he is still situated in his old study desk, editing your photos from yesterday’s joint concert. Adding his fansite name ‘HwaLight_Y/N’ before uploading them.

After he graduated high school, he decluttered old items that he no longer needed and are now replaced with more equipment and the albums that Starlight released. On his walls that were once adorned with his favorite rock band posters, baseball banners and his high school basketball jersey were now replaced with your individual posters. His bookshelves before were filled with his textbooks and comic books which he gushed over with his old friend. He doesn’t have friends anymore. Now, they are filled with Starlight’s albums that comes with all the different versions, the photobooks that VS Media released, the latest 2021 Seasons Greetings and his selfmade own copy of ‘ With Love, Y/N ‘ photobook which he sold over 100,000 copies. Unusual for a fansite photobook to reach its mark compared to companies.

Ever since the day Seonghwa stepped into the debut concert hall to see you, he made everyone turn their heads and stare at him. It was a fandom joke that Seonghwa made his own fangirls that day. Along the way, they would pluch up their courage and ask to go on a date with him, but Seonghwa would politely decline their offer. As he only has eyes for Y/N, who else?

After Staright debuted, the fandom continued to increase. It brought irritation to Seonghwa how he felt like he had many competitors to compete for your attention. But that theory was tried and tested when Starlight was at Incheon Airport headed to Jeju. The girls were posing for the hundreds of cameras in front of them, Seonghwa positioned somewhere in the middle.

Through his camera lens, he watched as Y/N stand in her tiptoes, looking through the crowd as if she was searching for someone. His blood began to boil on who could possibly stole your worthy attention that isn’t him. But he immediately soften when Y/N’s eyes landed on his camera, flashing a sweet smile before eagerly waving her hands at him.

Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click!

His insides were instantly filled with warmth as Y/N had her eyes on his camera. Smiling cutely and making little hearts in his direction. From that day on, Seonghwa submitted himself to you wholeheartedly. The best part? Seonghwa is also a passenger with you to Jeju! Surely seeing Seonghwa before the gates is not the last time you’d see him. As he boarded the plane, he sat down on the seat two rows in front of you. Heart beating fast at the feeling.

The hour flight to Jeju quickly came by and they all boarded down. Seonghwa noticed how you and the rest of the members took the back door. Two black vans parked at the back door rather than being parked at the main extrance and exit. Lifting the car he rented to place his equipment and backpack safely at the back before following the second van where you are. Heading to the same hotel your manager booked because that’s where he booked himself too.

Sometime later after checking in to the hotel and fixing his camera, he listened to the footsteps of VS staffs and any Starlight member heading to the elevator and disappearing. Once the coast is clear, he left his room and welcomed himself to Room 1117 - the room you share with the leader of Starlight.

With his camera in hand, he went over to the second bed as he noticed your luggage was placed on top of it. Slowly, he bent down and inhaled the mattress and cushion. Faint scent of apples and honey. Laying down on the spot whereyou layed down earlier, a soft sigh escapes his lips before turning his attention to your luggage.

Slowly, he unzips it open and then turning it open. The first thing his eyes lands on is the red lingerie that was placed on top as if it was welcoming him. Slowly he took hold of your bra, touching and feeling the cups. Were your boobs always this big? Blood rushed into him as he brought the cups to his nose, inhaling the scent of your raw flesh. Seonghwa sets the bra down before lifting the underwear next. He closely examined the lacy underwear, grazing his fingertips before slowly bringing it to his face. Were underwears supposed to smell sweet? This was an unexplainable one before something clicked in his mind.

You could have worn it.

He brought your underwear more closer to his face while his free hand unzips his pants, freeing his cock and then beating it around his hand, imagining it was your sweet tight hole instead. Shamelessly, he came.

Pocketing your underwear, he quickly set his plan. He placed small cameras inside the electricity extensions in the room and bathroom and on the lamp stands before exiting. Leaving in time before a VS staff came into the same floor they are at. Once he gets back in his hotel room, he took out your underwear in his pocket and decided to kill time by playing with this.

“See! I told you, you must have dropped your underwear under the bed.” Yikyung, the leader of Starlight said. I brought the underwear up and noticed how it had a huge white stain. I shook my head, probably a discharge before placing it on a plastic bag filled with my other used clothes.

“Also, Y/N please put some clothes on while you sleep! My eyes are burning everytime I see you walking around her naked!” Yikyung laughs before throwing a pillow at him. It became a habit of time to sleep and walk around the dorm naked. I felt comfortable around the other members and decided to slowly reveal my habits. As Yikyung and I cleaned up our room, I unplugged my phone from its charger. But the little red light is still beaming.

“Is it always like this?” I asked, pointing at the socket as I faced Yikyung.

“Well at least you know that this socket is working. C’mon, were already late. Manager Min is already expecting us.” She says, grabbing my hand as we ran out our room, ending our MV film shoot in Jeju.

#ateez seonghwa #ateez scenarios #ateez yandere #kpop yandere

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kwangyadetective · 2 years

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🏁 NCT 127′s Wakey Wakey

So they woke up at some point?

A theory post of NCT 127′s awakening from their dream in Wakey Wakey and Superhuman. I mostly analyzed this by the lyrics so this post is wordy and long.

(!) WARNING: This is a theory as it is not confirmed from SM entertainment nor members of NCT, so please don’t believe this 100%! I will edit this or add to another post if I find any new information on this.

I was rewatching the MV after watching NCT Dream’s Dreaming Track Video because, for some reason, it just reminded me of it. Then I realized, the album’s name is Awaken.

This definitely hints of what happened to them. They woke up. Though it is a bit weird how they put this on a Japanese comeback and not many people noticed about this. Well, many people say that Japanese comeback doesn’t really count as a ‘comeback’, but I think what happened here is crucial.

In the MV, its clear that they are waking up in the first part of it. Except for Haechan, he was the last one to wake up. I wanted to say that they are depicted to be in their own dreams in here, but it was kind of tricky to say that. But this could be supported with Taeyong’s primarily Red background (for his space), though the rest weren’t like that.

Haechan was injured if I’m not mistaken in this era, I think the directors took the chance to use him as the last person to wake up. Other than that, perhaps because he’s the maknae?

There are cars. Transportation tends to be interpreted by people as them going through dream stages, is this the time went into Reality?

I understand that whenever they wake up, they go to another dream. But this one is different. Before NCT2020, they haven’t gotten to the Dream in a Dream stage, which is the crucial part for them to wake up to a new reality that is influenced by their dream. They didn’t have enough people to go there and perhaps there are some difficulties to fully empathize with everyone (I mean I presume that they just learned about empathy in NCT2018 and that doesn’t mean they succeed in doing it).

Honestly its easier for me to explain it in the lyrics.

I’m using this video for their lyrics because I can’t find any sites that translates it correctly? Not even colorcodedlyrics, lyricskpop or genius can help me in this, this is how underrated the song is :”

“Newly reborn Myself”

Again, NCT’s way of dreaming is different the normal people. They found themselves inside a dream suddenly and took them time for them to wake up from it, so when they actually woke up, its like they are finally back alive? Its like waking up from a coma.

“Wakey-wakey-wakey Break it Awaken Blue Eyes”

Now, I’m not very sure why they use ‘blue eyes’. Though many people believe that Blue (specifically deep/dark blue) represents Reality, so perhaps a reference to that? There could be more explanation though.

I’m translating this one on my own (hopefully its accurate....)

“まだ見ぬ世界に close”

If I translate that without the ‘close’ in the end of the line it becomes

“In a world I haven’t seen yet”

Though if I use it, it becomes

“Close to a world you haven’t seen yet”

If we use the first one (without the word ‘close’), I think its referring to Reality. They haven’t seen the Reality yet, right? But if I use the second translation, I’m confused whether they’re using ‘Close’ as in like ‘close your eyes’ or close as in short distance. If we use the short distance one, it seems like they’re saying that they are ‘close’ to reaching Reality. They do have the same point though if I look at it again.

“産声あげる僕らの時代”

The translation for this is a bit absurd, “Our time to give birth”, but I think it has a similar meaning to the ‘reborn’ one. Lastly, this is pretty direct,

“WaWakey-wakey Awaken now”

I realized that its pretty difficult to interpret a Japanese comeback MV, so it makes more sense if we look at it in the lyrics instead. What’s interesting is that in the photoshoot, there are dinosaur bones.

I wanted to say that with the lyrics saying that they were ‘reborn’, as they are in Reality in here. The ground also fits more for their rocky and sandy planet landscape. Though that red smoke is bothering me :< I’m also taking note that their clothes are mostly Blue or cool toned (honestly like their overall MV). Though if its suppose to be in a dream (looking at that red smoke) they are probably in their usual desert. Admittedly, the sky looks too dark for it to be night-time?

Since they woke up, does that mean in Superhuman they somehow found out how the Reality looks like?

Honestly, I still have many questions and I am still unsure of this. There could be other explanations, but what else really if the album’s name is literally ‘Awaken’?

#nct #nct 127 #taeyong #taeil #johnny suh #yuta #doyoung #jaehyun #jungwoo #mark lee #haechan #smcu #sm culture universe

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manggaetteokkie · 4 years

Note

So what are your top 5 favorite BTS songs and then top 5 favorite BTS videos?

Then what are you top 5 favorite Jikook moments? Lol Haaaard questions

Gonna combine these two cause I think these are from the same anonie, who I’m starting to think likes to make people suffer djfhskdh (if it’s not from the same person, then big rip)

Sorry this took so long, I was really trying to narrow it down to top 5 and I think I still ended up failing... I actually do this with my friends but usually, we’re a little bit more generous by narrowing it down to stuff like: top 5 title tracks, top 5 rap-line, top 5 vocal line, top 5 albums, etc... Asking me top 5 songs from their entire discography is absolutely savage.

For my top 5 BTS songs (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER BECAUSE I BARELY NARROWED IT DOWN TO FIVE, YOU CANT MAKE ME RANK THEM):

Blood Sweat & Tears: the monarch, the goat, putting it simply, the absolute best. I honestly remember when the Wings short films started dropping, my friend and I panicked HARD because we were like “WTF IS GOING ON WHAT IS THIS”. And then the teaser dropped, and it was so different from the “typical” BTS we’ve been getting, so we were even more confused. But then... The MV dropped and that was honestly just such a massive turning point for everything. Also, as an ARMY with a Jimin bias, I almost didn’t survive it.

Attack on Bangtan: okay this is honestly just such a fun hype song that never gets old no matter how many times you listen to it? It’s honestly a classic and whenever it plays on Run BTS, I know I’m either about to witness an epic moment or it’s gonna send my ass on the floor from laughing. (Also, let us never forget Tae’s “Nico nico niiii~”)

I Need U: okay this was The song that got me learning all their names and holy shit, I’ve listened to this song so much, it’s currently 5th most played song (out of nearly 2k songs) in my iTunes with 1,338 plays. When one hears “Fall...”, one does not simply resist the urge to belt “EVERYTHANG” with feelings. Also, funnily enough, the one that first caught my eye was Yoongi, there was something so eye-catching about the way he rapped in such a despondent manner at the start of the mv.

House of Cards: I definitely need to put this one because I’ve listened to this song a total of 2,104 times, if you add the Prologue (short) version total (861) to the full length one (1,243). This was my “hoe” anthem long before My Time was born. I deadass fell in love with the song 10 seconds in, there was no saving me and you cannot stop anyone from doing emo bodyrolls when it comes up. Jikook’s bridge? I can’t sing to save my life but you can bet your ass I’m lipsyncing to that shit every single time.

I HATE THIS. I HATE PICKING THE LAST ONE, I WANT TO FIT THEIR ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY INTO THIS LAST SPOT FFFFFFF.

And now, the last one... can I cheat and throw Euphoria, Serendipity and Seesaw all at my 5th spot? Cause I REALLY can’t pick one out of these 3 skjdhfkshdkf I have such an emotional attachment to Serendipity and Euphoria at this point (DJ Swivel remix of Euphoria? Hello?? I almost cried??? You are me, I am you?? HMMM????), and Seesaw just really surprised me. I absolutely was not expecting it, but holy shit, Seesaw slapped and it slapped hard. At this point, I’m like, anything Yoongi touches turns to absolute gold, I can’t resist him.

Okay I have so many other faves (Spring Day, Baepsae, etc.) but since you only asked for top 5 and not, like, top 100, I have to stop myself here, but I also very curious about your top 5s if you guys wanna share!! Let’s see how well you do, only narrowing it down to 5.

For my top 5 BTS videos (I only counted Bangtan Bombs and live performances, excluding MVs, since you didn’t specify. Otherwise there are too many... just thinking about how many Run BTS episodes I could fit otherwise lmfao):

Perfect Man: I’m a Jimin stan. What did you expect, me to not include this masterpiece??

As I Told You: Good lord, Jungkook was so fkn attractive in a hockey jersey of all things. I honestly loved it so much, I can listen to the live audio as is.

2018 MMA - IDOL Intro Performance (3J focus): Again, I am a Jimin stan. But seriously, from Hobi hitting every. single. beat. while dancing on a raised platform, to Jimin’s fan dance (I streamed the show live and I couldn’t focus on anything else after), to JK lounging like the absolute king that he is, what’s not to love?

It’s Tricky Bangtan Bomb: oldie but goldie, honestly. All of them were babies but holy shit, if their casual dancing didn’t absolutely make me fall in love with them all over again. It honestly never gets old no matter how many times I watch it.

BTS Carpool Karaoke: I have to admit, I honestly got stuck picking the last one so I went with this one because I feel like this is a really really good video to introduce others to BTS to. From their amazing acapella vocals (JK belting Finesse lives in my mind rent free) to how they were so perfectly themselves? You had Hobi’s sunshine smile in the middle, Baby Mochi, Jin’s “I don’t know what he said, but let’s laugh ha ha ha ha”, etc.

Okay I have to admit something, I probably forgot like 90% of their videos so if any of you guys mention a video, I might go “AH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE SKDJFHKSH” so take this list more as a “bangtan videos you should 100% watch” :^)

For my top 5 jikook moments (you absolutely devil, how could you ask me such a question), in no particular order because, again, I actually cannot physically bring myself to rank them:

Jimin comforting a crying JK during LY: (6:05) the way Jimin ran over as soon as he saw Jungkook bent over, facing the backstage. My heart. And he kept JK company for a bit, making sure he was fine before leaving. This whole thing just makes my heart melt into a puddle no matter how many times I think/see about it because it’s like, the timing is just? Anpanman barely started and he just looked over, saw, and ran over. Jesus Christ.

That Jikook moment during SY Seoul Finale: Just how much comfort Jimin must represent for Jungkook to let the dam free once again just seeing his face aghhhhhasgdahj I literally made an entire post about that moment because of how incredibly soft it gets me. I’ve linked it but it’s also my pinned so it’s very easy to find.

“Are you guys dating?”: (start) holy shit okay so this moment is so sdjkfhkdshkfdhks the way both of them were so giggly? It never fails to make me laugh how absolutely done Joon sounded when he said “push quickly!” Also, just how soft did Jimin make his voice when he asked “are you ready”? and how JK, the single most competitive member of BTS, was just giggling the entire time and didn’t even try pushing Jimin before Jimin ended up eliminating himself. Not to mention how JK couldn’t into Jimin’s eyes and only finally made eye contact with at the very end :^)

MMA 2018: lmao okay so I’m just gonna throw this entire fkn night into the mix. I still remember how it was the wee hours in the morning for me when I started following the live stream and damn, they were literally inseparable the entire time. My TL was exploding in Jikook content and between watching them through the official broadcast and watching the fancams, I was BUSY. They did everything: whispering to each other’s ears, slinging their arms around each other’s shoulders, JK massaging JM’s nape, JK pulling JM down to sit... phew.

GCF in Tokyo: Okay so this is one of those things that the more you think about it, the more you can’t believe it’s real. I couldn’t not include this simply because of how meaningful the whole thing was. There’s so much about it that makes me ????? because JK really booked a two-person trip to Tokyo for Jimin’s birthday. And Jimin genuinely had fun on that trip. The whole thing just shows how comfortable the two of them are with each other because they’d never had gone on a trip together elsewise. I recently saw a Korean movie director’s reaction to GCF and the whole thing didn’t have any subs, but the two reactors were like “ohhh... these two... these two must be really close” (they’d reacted to BTS MVs before, but they’re not familiar with how the members are outside of that). From my limited Korean understanding, the movie director then commented “Because the model and the director are so close, it’s very natural” (if I’ve gotten any Korean followers, I’d love to get confirmation on the words said because my Korean understanding isn’t perfect and I don’t want to be spreading crap around). GCF in Tokyo is also the first video posted under the GCF label, with JK editing the whole thing himself. He filmed, he directed, he edited. And his main actor was Jimin.

I was this 👌🏻 close to adding LY lap sitting and Rose Bowl moments but I had other faves to include so I thought I’d go with something else :^) GCF forced its way into my list, I had no say in it.

Okay so I hope this was enough skdjfhkdshfs this post got really long cause I couldn’t help myself from giving reasons for why I included the ones I did, I’m sorry sjkfhdks Please feel free to share you’re own fave songs/videos/jikook moments!!

#thanks for the ask!#bts #bangtan #jimin #jungkook #jeongguk #jikook #kookmin #my post #my stuff #anon #anonymous #answered

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rpgmgames · 4 years

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January’s Featured Game: Roji's Room

DEVELOPER(S): Spicy Roll ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: RPG, Adventure, Mystery WARNINGS: Shifts in consciousness, Spooky, Strong language SUMMARY: Roji's Room is a turned base RPG about lucid dreaming, consciousness, emotions, friendships, meditation, wholesome, sleep paralysis, and adventure. You play as Jae who is an avid lucid dreamer, he wakes up in a room with no memory. You sleep and enter a dream world full of many entities that view their world as the real world. You meet Roji who is the key to solving what makes this dream world different from any other dream.

Download the teaser demo here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *Jaies: Hello this is Jude S. (Jaies) and I’m the lead composer for Roji’s Room! I’ve always loved making video game music, and following indie projects, and now I get to pair that love with a really great game. It’s a dream come true! I hope everyone enjoys the music and the game (: *Spicyroll: Greetings! This is Jaeroll the game developer for Roji's Room! For now I am mostly working alone with the game along with Jude who composes the music. I am a intro/extrovert who is in love with life and its inhabitants. I am a registered nurse and a Reiki master. I love meditating , yoga, anime, JRPGs, indie games, crystals and music. I have been dabbling with rpg maker since 2006 with RPGMaker XP. Making so many projects but not completing them haha. I am grateful for the indiedev and rpgmaker community met so many awesome people through this development.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *Spicyroll: Roji's Room is an experiment for self discovery there will be many choices and activities that the player will be doing. It might be risky but my goal is not only to benefit the characters in the game but also the player themselves. Meditation, actions, emotions, wholesomeness. Display the rewards to practicing self love and the outcomes to not. I am a strong advocate to self love, I would love to deliver inspiration to people to practice more self love for themselves. I hope the game can invoke such emotions. But as the story its a mystery involving a boy who is a master at lucid dreaming but lost his memories. He was able to enter a dream world that is in disorder because the moderator lost it's body and is only a brain. The brain is Roji, its your quest to help retrieve the body and restore order to this special dream. While hopefully restoring the memories of Jae. Meeting many dream entities along the way your choices are really important. What inspired me is the many years of playing RPGs, and creating projects that was very surface and generic. I love art, creation and the helping of others.

How long have you been working on your project? *Spicyroll: It's been a good year (:

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Spicyroll: Many games like Moon remix RPG, Undertale, Mother 3, Nino kuni. Artists Bryan lee O maley, Rebecca Sugar, many more. I love the aspect of alternatives to fighting in RPGs. Wholesome.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Spicyroll: Yes there were many, sometimes just like many other developers you would get dev block or whatever. Burnt out for overworking and what not. Fear of people not liking the concept. Also a big one is the the limitations of rpgmaker, however I am grateful to the engine because just as an artist its easy to use. How I worked on it was giving time to myself, self love, doing other things other than game dev where it sparked that flame. Staying positive and interacting with other game devs. Playing story driven games.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Spicyroll: Many aspects! It was going to be REALLY spiritual and concepts were thrown onto you to "wake you up" However I realized it would be very jarring to people who aren't open to such concepts so I thought I should make it gradual. Current one is much more simple and I feel like more organized.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Spicyroll: Well my team is basically just me, I have many friends who produce music but most of them just wanted to chip in one song or two. I found an amazing composer online and built a cool friendship with him. I like working alone in terms of directing but I would be open to members. I just have the fear of butting heads and what not.

What is the best part of developing a game? *Spicyroll: The BEST part of developing a game is just creating something in general and to share in a interactive medium of your tastes of music and design. My most favorite is in hopes of invoking emotions for the player to release to help them in their daily lives.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Spicyroll: I have played many RPGMaker games most are on this list, the big ones Oneshot, Lisa, To The Moon. I realized the limitations of the engine but just remains grateful to be able to create a functional game with little knowledge of coding. Shout out to them plugin creators!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Spicyroll: Although majority of the characters haven't been introduced in development, I relate to the main character. The name is a self insert but the character himself is at his core wanting to empathize with entities and connect. Its up to the player who is the guide to flesh those out or go a different route.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Spicyroll: I actually dont have any regrets, I am just grateful to the whole process cause everything negative was a learning experience (:

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Spicyroll: TAs of now I would leave it as it is and if characters are likable maybe some side stories?

What do you most look forward to now that you have finished the game? *Spicyroll: I look forward to the many smiles and emotions players give while playing the game. Also just art in general characters in many different mediums of art. I would hope that any concept or action can help the person in their waking life.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Spicyroll: It would have to be the engine, I know that sometimes errors will occur and hinder the process of completion. But it will work out ^^

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Spicyroll: Practice self care for yourself, you only have one body, mind and soul. If you practice those things and better yourself you can bring your best self to work on this project. Its sometimes unavoidable due to habits but when you realize that overworking yourself doesn't do any good to yourself or the project you can evolve into higher conceptualization? Also make the game YOU want, like as a love letter to yourself (:

Question from last month's featured dev @grimmshollow: What tricks do you use to make playtesting/debugging easier? *Spicyroll: Tricks? Uhhhh keeping save points and such around? Having your friends play your game with unbias so you can get the whole picture. Which cuts out time doing final edits at the last min of release.

We mods would like to thank Spicy Roll for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Roji's Room if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rojis room #rpgmaker #rpg maker #rpgmaker mv #rpg games #indie games #game demo #rojis room game #games #gotm #game of the month #gotm 2020 #2020 #january #january 2020

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btsandvmin · 5 years

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Vmin - Winter Bear analysis

I had to make a full proper analysis of Winter Bear, and all the possible connections it can have to Vmin. It’s basically a continuation of my other Vmin song analysis. I think you could read this on it’s own and still find it interesting, but honestly if you want to know just how much this is an actual possibility I would suggest reading my post Vmin - Scenery, Promise and song connections. Because if you think this song is the only possible Vmin song, you are wrong. And the fact that they have done this AGAIN, is really interesting.

Credit to @momudub1210 on twitter.

This will be a long post, which is mostly Jimin’s fault. Please remember that it’s likely that not all of these things are done on purpose, but that the amount of connections is kind of too much for me to think they are all coincidence.

This is a long analysis on Winter Bear, the timeline and connections to Vmin and some of their other songs. It’s all based on my own theories and I have no way of knowing if any of these things have any particular meaning, or even if they are done on purpose at all. Still, I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts. I already wrote a little bit about this in my post Some thoughts on Winter Bear so sorry if some of it is repeated.

It's funny, because the first time I heard the song and watched the video I didn’t think Winter Bear had any direct connections to Vmin, and having had literally ALL of their previous solo songs have possible connections I was like “Ok, well I shouldn’t have expected anything just because...”. But oh boy did Vmin prove me wrong just a few moments after thinking it.

Let’s start with the obvious, and that is Jimin showering this song with love and attention to the point where people now associate this song and more specifically the term “Baby Bear” with Jimin.

Again, Jimin always give support to the members when they do anything, but at least to me Winter Bear has been a very intense case of Jimin showing his support towards the song.

Let’s look at the timeline. First Taehyung posted the video.

And then the link to just the song. Which showed us the cover, with the two small bears.

He also tweeted a few picture from the “making of” with pictures from a park (not sure, but the park could also be another Vmin hint). I think these were taken during the Europe tour this summer, possibly in England (there are at least some very obvious shots in the MV from London.)

He mentions he got inspiration from a British film, but I’ll get back to that later.

Like I said, nothing a first glance that links to Jimin. But Taehyung uploaded this on the 10th of august, and people were pretty much just waiting for Jimin to say something, because he always does, showing support to all members. It took a while, but when Jimin finally posted on weverse, he actually did it around the time of 4 o’clock korean time. Just a bit interesting timing especially since it almost seems like he was waiting to post until that late, but it wasn’t exactly at 4 so who knows.

What he posted was Tae yawning from the MV with the caption “Winter Bear” and a purple heart.

But then 10 minutes later he changed the post and wrote “Baby Bear” in stead.

EDIT: @nihalley told me Jimin didn’t actually update the post, but rather posted twice. Who knows why. But that kind of makes the Winter Bear + Baby Bear thing even more interesting.

Also Baby Bear is a nickname Taehyung had when he was young.

I personally find it cute that Jimin used this old nickname. But let’s move on, because then Jimin also decided to tweet.

There are a few things about this tweet that are a bit odd in my opinion, because the text here “Say hello to me” is obviously part of the lyrics from Winter Bear. But the picture is of only Jimin, and he used the hashtag “Baby Bear” in stead of Winter Bear. I think it’s possible he used Baby Bear to reference Tae in stead of the usual “Taetae” or “V” but since it’s only Jimin in the picture a lot of fans started to associate the term with Jimin in stead (it actually started a lot of controversy amongst Tae stans that hate Jimin). Either way it is a bit odd that he isn’t referencing Tae or the song directly. He is basically just using parts of the song in a tweet about himself.

It’s also possible that Jimin actually is using the nickname to reference himself, but it’s impossible to know for sure. (I mean, he was supposed to be Baby J once upon a time right?)

Anyways, after this fans took to saying that Tae was “Winter Bear” (partly because of his birthday in december) and Jimin became “Baby Bear”. Especially since the cover of the song showed two bears fans had fun saying they were Vmin.

I thought that the Vmin connections might have ended there, but once again Jimin came in and connected the song even more to himself by using “Say hello to me” again as the title of his vlive the day “after” the release. (Fans, including me, seeing the title thought it would be Taehyung.) Let’s look at this vlive, because a lot happened. This is where this post might get a bit messy and I suggest watching the clips I talk about in full if you can.

The vlive starts with Jimin listening to and basically hyping the song. Nothing weirds, just a bit more than usual. (Which reminds me of him posting himself singing/miming to Scenery when it first released.)

He also bring up “Baby Bear” again, really connecting it to the song. He talks about Winter Bear and Baby Bear as two separate things, calling Baby Bear the subtitle, but I have no idea what he wants to say with that.

He talks about how he has missed ARMY, and that he got some time before the Lotte Family Concert rehearsal, so he wanted to talk. He also says “We also have a new song with V. I wanted to listen with you.” After a while Hobi shows up and Jimin decides to play Winter Bear again.

Hobi reveals he got to hear it before release and Jimin says he listens to the song every night. Then they sing along to it.

And then Tae shows up as well. We learn Hobi heard it after the Paris concert and Jimin says he loves the song.

Jimin starts telling us about when he first heard the song.

“I can’t remember which country. But a long time ago, we were both awake at 3 am. He was like “You should get some sleep!“. So I said “I’m sorry.” and he said “I did some mixing, do you want to check it out?“ He sent it to me. And I said “Ok, wait, I’ll give you feedback.” and I fell asleep right away. Humming Winter Bear.”

First I just find it very cute that Vmin text each other in the middle of the night during tour, like they meet each other every day and still stay up late writing and talking to each other. Also the fact that Jimin fell asleep listening to Tae’s song which is basically a lullaby about a sleeping person.

There is also another translation of this than the one on vlive, which I think makes more sense at least with the “I told him to sleep” from Jimin instead of from Tae. If so they might have mentioned 4 o’clock again. (Someone who knows for sure, feel free to reply and let us know.)

Then Tae talks about about making the song. Saying it took him a long time to make it.

Apparently the guide was completed around February (at least it sounds like that is what they meant). I am a bit confused by the timeline. But my guess is that Tae started writing the melody early this year and then got inspired to write the lyrics while they were in London, and then showed the result to Hobi while in Paris.

Either way it seems Jimin heard it earlier than Hobi, and he also heard the guide, and thought it was great.

Hobi also asked “Why Winter Bear?” and Tae starts explaining how they all love the movie “About time” and that there is a scene in the movie where the guy proposes that impressed him and got a lot of words to pop into his head.

The scene actually doesn’t seem to have a lot in common with the lyrics except for the female lead sleeping. (Though you should all watch About Time if you haven’t, it’s great.). Though they do talk about the sleeping scene after just before mentioning the story about how Tae and Jimin talks late at night and about Jimin falling asleep to the song.

Also I don’t know, but Jimin kind of interrupts Tae by playing the flute. Not sure if it was some kind of distraction or if he was just being a bit rude. But Jimin keeps being distracting and seemingly keeping himself occupied not really listening while Tae talks, which seems a bit weird coming from him.

Tae also says he only talked to Hobi, Jimin and Namjoon about the song. Hobi because they shared the same car during tour, and obviously Namjoon helped him make the song, but he as they said earlier he also showed Jimin.

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Then they talk about the release, and once again it seems they were both up late. Jimin reveals that Tae stayed up late to check the reactions. Mind you, Tae released the song at midnight, and Jimin wrote at 4 am.

And one part of this story I find a bit odd is how Jimin says “Taehyung said: Did you see it, Baby Bear?” This could just be weird translation though, but it sounds here like Tae referred to Jimin as Baby Bear...

I don’t know. Either that or he actually meant to say Winter Bear but used the wrong word for the title since he was talking about Baby Bear already.

Anyways, that is probably nothing, but it’s a bit funny how Tae and Jimin always have excuses for why they know things about each other.

Then Hobi also brings up how Tae started with 4 o’clock and then has improved with Scenery and now Winter Bear (all songs that has connections to Jimin in various ways). Right after Jimin also brings up his own song Promise, once again connecting his song with Taehyung’s by bringing them up at the same time. I guess it could just be a natural transition of similar topics, but still.

I am not sure if this actually means anything, but it was still interesting that they brought up all these songs in one go. Then Jimin praises the song again and also mention how he thinks the yawning scene is the cutest part. The one he used in his weverse post. Tae then explains about making the video.

And once again it’s 4 o’ clock. But anyways, again I think it’s interesting how Jimin tells this story, how he saw Tae try hard and wake up early every day to film during the tour.

Then Hobi wants to leave which apparently means that Tae has to leave too. And Tae then says thanks to Jimin, making him confused.

Jimin gets really confused and then flustered by Tae’s statment and then relaxes at the mention of the gift. It’s funny because when fans learned about this, they jokingly said it would be the bears on the cover of the song. (Spoiler, they were right.)

Before the vlive ended Jimin also decided to play Promise again. Meaning the vlive starts with Winter Bear and ends with Promise.

He also tells us that Taehyung took the pictures for Promise, giving us a reminder of one of the 100% sure connections between Vmin and Promise.

In short, this vlive of Jimin is called “Say hello to me” named after Tae’s song, they promote both Winter Bear and Promise, also mentioning two obvious connections between the songs and Vmin, which are the cover photos.

As we know Taehyung took the picture for Promise and we also learned that the two small bears in Winter Bear’s cover was a gift from Jimin.

Speaking of the bears, I want to talk a little bit about the run episode and some other things I found interesting. First Jimin seems a bit nervous about giving his gift, even to the point of his voice quivering.

Secondly he talks about it being hard finding a gift for only 30 000 won.

And in fact those two bears alone were about 14 000 won a piece. They were also sold separately, so I have no idea why Jimin bought two. It really seems to be a weird thing to buy two of unless the bears are supposed to be a couple.

He could of course had other reasons, but to me it feels a bit strange to buy two. And there is another factor that makes me raise my eyebrows a bit, and that are the two mugs that Jimin also bought for Taehyung.

First it’s cute if Jimin didn’t think the bears were enough, but I think it’s possible that those two mugs weren’t supposed to be a gift for the manito game. Why I personally think so is for a few reasons. First, as I said the bears alone are already close to budget. And Jimin did state that it was difficult because of the low budget two times without mentioning going over budget.

Then when the mugs are revealed Jimin is at first surprised.

And then he explains that Tae is into ceramics/pottery these days before he keeps talking about the bears, kind of brushing the topic aside. So, I think the mugs weren’t supposed to be a gift for the show but rather Jimin bought them privately.

Later he seems to change the story, when they say it must have been over 30 000 won. Like I said, first he says it was hard because it was only 30 000 won, but then after the mugs are revealed and they ask about it he says there were other things and he asked if he could spend more.

The two mugs also kind of look like couple mugs, since they are of different colors but the same design. I don’t know but usually if you buy mugs as a gift wouldn’t you just get them one? Or two of the same color? Unless you want a pair for two people to match? It’s a bit of a stretch, but just a thought.

Another interesting fact is that Promise also was brought up again in the same episode, thanks to Hobi’s thoughtful gift to Jimin. It’s like Vmin’s songs are destined to come in pairs.

Moving on, Jimin had another Vlive only a few days after the first and in it once again he promotes and plays Winter Bear. (He plays a lot of the members’ songs but I will only focus on the Vmin related stuff).

He starts talking about how he slept well, and then he offhandedly mentions that he dreamt as well. Then he says that “that day, I talked a lot about Baby Bear.” and explains to how the song kept playing in his dream. Honestly, I think Jimin has used Baby Bear just as much as Winter Bear, and I don’t know what to make of that. If he simply uses it by mistake or if he just likes the term Baby Bear more…

He also talks specifically about the cover of the song.

This was before we learned the bears were from Jimin. He explains about the two bears on the cover, and then how the two bears were walking around in his dream while Winter Bear was playing as BGM. His own theory is that he talked about Winter Bear so much, and then also listened to it again so it also appeared in his dream. And apparently so did Taehyung.

Then later in the live he starts talking about his earring, and then goes into a story of how he got his first piercings.

I just think it’s interesting that he tells us another story connected to Taehyung, and even uses the word promise in relation to him twice. It also shows us there are probably many many stories of them hanging out that we will never learn about.

Then he goes on to introduce his favorite song these days… And well…

So all in one go he let’s us know how much he loves Winter Bear, that he listens to it every day, that the MV is pretty too, that he is possessive about both songs and his friend that he wants to keep “secret” and that the friend is handsome and that he will be the only one who knows him.

So Jimin and Tae both also talked about secrets in relation to each other in the vlives. Tae with the gift, and Jimin here with his joke. Which is also just an interesting detail. You can also look at the timeline for Scenery and Docskim’s post with “So the secret is out?“ as another instance, but again, this is probably all just a weird coincidence.

So yeah, it’s obviously a joke, but once again Jimin let’s us know that he likes to keep Taehyung to himself while also showering him with praise. He also looks a bit embarrassed, but it’s all really cute.

He also finishes the whole Vlive with a “I purple you.” which is obviously a phrase connected to Tae, even though all members have started to adopt it.

One would think this is already an overwhelming amount of Vmin and Jimin gushing about Winter Bear, but there is more. Yet another vlive.

Most of it isn’t relevant to this post, but I thought it was interesting with Jimin’s recommended song Nervous by Gavin James. It’s three years old, but I guess he could have found it recently. The lyrics are just a bit interesting since they also contain possible references to Winter Bear, Promise and Spring Day.

I promise that I'll hold you when it's cold out When we loose our winter coats in the spring 'Cause lately I was thinking I never told you That every time I see you my heart sings

I really think this is a coincidence, but still, I wanted to mention it. It’s also a really good song.

Anyways, someone then requests for Jimin to play Winter Bear, so he plays it of course. Saying it’s the song that “dominated his dream” and that the MV is really great too. (He manages to squeeze in another I purple you too, probably reading a comment.)

Then there is the funny coincidence that the commercial playing happens to be Winter Bear.

He listens to the song and sings along, and once again changes a part of the lyrics to Baby Bear. In some cases he might just say Baby in stead of Winter accidentally, but here he clearly changes it as sings it over the original lyrics. I have no idea why he is pushing the Baby Bear things so much.

Then Namjoon comes, they talk and he leaves. But then in the end of the vlive he plays Promise again. Meaning in all three vlives he did recently he not only played Winter Bear, but in all of them also manage to bring up Promise. To me who has all these already existing possible connections between these songs in my head it almost feels like they want me to look closer and associate the songs with each other.

In short, Jimin has managed to promote Winter Bear as well as Promise, brought up a story about a promise to Taehyung and in a way therefor made people associate the songs with each other even more and even pointed out the covers of both songs.

He also ended with I purple you again.

And I am not sure if it’s also relevant, but “So show me, I’ll show you.” is also kind of (?) a Vmin thing, and he did that too after the I purple you.

That’s already a lot of connections if you ask me, and I have no idea if they have a purpose for this, but considering their other songs having so many similar connections I doubt all of it can be coincidence.

Now let’s look at the lyrics of the song.

I didn’t think any of these things were relevant or possible to connect to Jimin at first listen, and they still might not be, but I want to bring up a few things anyways just in case.

First the color Blue is a recurring theme for Vmin, which is a stretch but I still wanted to comment on it. It’s Jimin’s official color and also a color that Vmin has used to describe their relationship.

Q: What color describes your relationship?

Jimin: Blue. because we are same-aged friends, We're together the most often.

Tae: I also think it's blue! Blue is a very fresh color and our relationship is very fresh. Even through we often argue, we make up immediately; returning to our usual close relationship.

Jimin: We really do argue over the smallest things. "You danced wrong," No, you're the one that's wrong" etc (laughs).

The color was also referenced before in Tae’s 4 o’clock’s lyrics.

Just like that movie, like the line (from the movie) The entire world is blue inside the moonlight

(You can read some more on this in my posts Vmin - Pink, Blue and purple and Red + Blue = Vmin but it’s honestly far off topic from this post.)

This is something I personally doubt has any particular meaning, but there is another similarity between 4 o clock and WInter Bear with the reference to a bird, the blue parrot and the nameless bird.

At a dusky park A nameless bird that sings

Another thing that I honestly don’t know if it’s just a lucky coincidence or not, is that Jimin had blue hair, while he also wore this jacket last year while they were touring in Europe, aka around the time when Tae seems to have started to write on the lyrics for Winter Bear.

I mean, “looks like a blue parrot” check with the hair. And then the bear like outfit too.

Then you have the lyrics about sleeping, and good night. Which is just interesting considering Jimin kept talking about how he sleeps to the song and even that he dreamt about it. Also Vmin sharing a story about them being up late at night scolding each other for not sleeping.

Then there is the Say hello to me that Jimin made himself connected to through both his tweet and his vlive. Meaning that most of the lyrics in the song has a possible connection to Jimin. But it could just be me looking for it, so who knows.

Moving on we also know that Tae got the inspiration for the song while he was in London after watching a British film.

The movie About Time also happens to be a movie that both Jimin and Taehyung loves. And funnily enough it was a movie I already associated with them thanks to Tae posting this picture and them both talking about it before.

(Jimin actually answers as well.) So Both of Vmin love About Time and Jimin has even talked about how it was Tae who showed it to him.

So in short because of Jimin’s vlives and because of earlier statments we can find quite a lot of possible references between Winter Bear and Vmin. The most interesting ones being:

- We have “blue”, “sleeping” and “say hello to me” as possible connections between Jimin and the lyrics. Especially Say hello to me, which Jimin used twice in relation to himself.

- Jimin making himself connected to the term Baby Bear that is actually not even in the song.

- Bringing up his own song Promise in relation to Taehyung, and at the same time as Winter Bear.

- Jimin reminding us of the cover of Promise being made by Tae and also talking about the cover for Winter Bear. Two things we know for certain makes them connected to each other songs, even if just in a small way.

- Jimin ending all three vlives with “I purple you”.

Anyways, these are the things I could think of. But of course not all of them have to be done on purpose, or any at all for that matter. Still, at least to me, looking at everything combined with their other songs and the things they have said and done it really does seem that they do want to connect the songs to each other to some degree.

I honestly think them doing this yet another time is really interesting and personally I am pretty sure they are doing this on purpose. You all of course don’t have to agree with me, and I know that some of the things I bring up are quite far-fetched. I doubt all of these things are meant to have deeper meaning, but it’s in the amount of possible clues I feel I can now say with confidence that Vmin’s songs are connected. Even if I can’t know why.

I know this post is quite messy and maybe a little too long. But I hope you could enjoy it anyway. Please let me know what you think and please like and reblog if you want me to make more of this kind of posts.

Thank you! I purple you!

#vmin #vmin analysis #winter bear analysis #winter bear #taehyung #jimin #taehyung winter bear #about time #vmin about time #btsandvmin #my post #vmin song analysis #bts song analysis

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fmdjaewonarchive · 3 years

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► jasmine.

date(s): 9 november - 1 december 2020 mentions of: n/a word count: +/- 1112 (with lyrics) warnings: n/a details: fmdos4, the creative process behind jasmine. as it turns out jaewon is capable of writing songs without one or multiple breakdowns along the way. he feels scammed he didn’t realize this sooner truly, why did no one bother to tell him songwriting doesn’t have to be a hellscape.

“you’re about to give me a whiplash with your sound request again aren’t you?” the composer asks pointedly as jaewon enters the studio. no good morning, no remarks on the result of the last round, nothing. just straight to business.

jaewon cracks a grin at that.

“last time. after this you’ll finally be free from me. promise.” he responds, dropping his bag on the floor before taking the empty

“you owe me drinks after the finale.” the man just grumbles however there is little actual weight to his words and jaewon chuckles. “deal.”

after that, there isn’t much space for bickering back and forth. they both have plenty of work to do after all, even if in the moment jaewon’s job is mainly to sit tight and listen as the man composes the instrumental, gently nudging him in the direction he wishes to take his sound this round.

they start slower this time, a lot slower a deep drum line stretched out to set a mellow pace before being paired with reverberating guitar chords. it has a very lo-fi feeling to it, one jaewon hasn’t heard in his own music since the release of biorhythm and it makes him feel nostalgic in a way. not even alarm had sounded this much like an extension of his first album, of the sound he had established before dimensions had gotten in his way and restricted his creative freedom.

more bits and pieces get woven in as the composes continues to work on the track, a twinge of synth omnipresent in its entirety, a light flicker of a piano arrangement in the bridge, finetuning the whole thing into a laid-back, chill piece that truly, jaewon wished he had been talented enough to compose by himself but knows he’d never have done justice the way the producer had.

not that it matters much. what does matter is that by the end of the day, he leaves the studio with an instrumental that genuinely has him excited to write.

-----------------------------------------------------

this time around, jaewon doesn’t do too much planning ahead of writing the song. no overthinking, no overanalyzing mission concepts or wagering whether or not he’s in line with what’s expected of him.

this time around, jaewon writes without being limited by what they want. no one has to like this song except for him truly, if they wanna hate this song and have him come in dead last at the finale, he truly won’t lose any sleep over it.

that’s most definitely a new sensation for jaewon. he’s used to writing songs (and doing anything really) with the looming pressure to either do well or let it break him on his shoulder. a part of him has always assumed that maybe, that was just a necessary condition, a sacrifice that had to be made in order to write music.

obviously, he had thought wrong.

because today there is no fretting over deadlines or forcing himself to stare at a blank piece of paper until something, anything would come to him, until the words would be pushed through the tip of his pen by the sheer force of the pressure resting on his shoulders.

instead, it looks like this, fingers tapping along to the melody of the instrumental, leaning back into his office chair and eyes closed.

the track is relaxed and easy-going, like a lazy saturday morning, and that becomes jaewon’s starting point.

with any color you want i can color the sky, ocean and mountains with you (if you let me be the code) even all of our differences we can connect together

jaewon had told himself he wasn’t gonna write another love song. but maybe, just maybe, he was also a fucking liar. in his defense, this song (at this point, still unnamed) wasn’t a love song lie reply and pit-a-pet had been. where those had recreated the anxious stutter of young love, this beat gave itself to something more mellowed out and mature, weathered by the ups and downs of life and not as easily disrupted by small life events.

you know i can paint the world sitting there in black and gold you’re the perfect chemical i gotta test i gotta know

he doesn’t know what prompts the abundance of english in the song. jaewon and the english language are not the best of friends, but with unity’s reach into america and champion he had become quite familiar with it. so he writes it in. it’s just the chorus at, plenty of songs have english chorus’, no need to think too much of it. but for some reason, it ends up bleeding into the rest of the writing too. it feels more fitting that way, his brain coming up empty on how to phrase the sentiment in his primary language in a way that doesn’t sound out of place with the beat.

i’ll be getting it ready to fuse sitting on top of the world just cue missing a puzzle i swear it’s you

of course, he sends the lyrics to someone to get the grammar checked out even after trying to research his phrasing as well as possible to his own abilities. as he waits for the other (a songwriter he’s worked with on a handful of unity song) to answer, he writes the word girl into the lyrics in a place or two that still feel a little hollow, rounding the song out and immediately giving it the fanservice/heteronormative undertone he’s learned to write into his music in a believable manner by now. it’s the smallest of sacrifices to make really, the most thin-veiled pretense of his assumed straightness to appease the general public.

and with that, the song is done. or well it’s not, it will take recording and some sound editing but in essence, it’s done. so far, jaewon is content with this one, mainly because it’s the smoothest songwriting experience he has had in a while.

-----------------------------------------------------

he records and produces the song in one go. technically, he has another studio session planned for after the recording of the mv, to tweak some small things and provide a better fit but it’s more a back-up plan, a crutch behind the door he’s 99% sure he won’t need.

dimension had offered to let another producer sit in and help him but truly, this time jaewon had felt confident enough to handle it by himself. he had produced pit-a-pet by himself, this he could tackle too.

(his suspicion did turn out to be right. by the term december 1st came around, he ended up sending in the very mastered version made on his first studio session. after all, there really wasn’t anything to add.)

#fmdos4 #*:･ﾟ♛– «filled with all these empty moments» // solos.#«our songs // era.»#//somehow this took half a day to write... why?

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 6 years

Photo

BTS RAPLINE TRIPTYCH PAINTING~

<- So Far Away -> Awakening <- Daydream ->

- - 23ish Hours later and it is complete! - -

Now starts a very long explanation (which I will try to keep as concise & understandable as possible but... well, you know me lol that probably won’t happen lol) as to what the rapline’s solo mixtapes and this triptych means to me...

I’ll start at the beginning, which isn’t the first piece I created (which was J-Hope’s painting), but actually the final piece I made; Suga’s.

Suga’s mixtape maybe spoke to me, personally, the most out of all of them; the roughness of the tracks, along with the raw and meaningful lyrics are some of the most emotionally charged tracks Bangtan have produced.

I named Suga’s piece ‘So Far Away’, which is the final track on the album, and one of my personal favourites. Not only is it Suran’s haunting vocals that add a really dream-like feel to the track, but the lyrics really give the concept of a ‘journey’ of self-love (which is a big overall theme of this triptych).

A sense of something in our pasts being so far away from who and where we are now, but also the idea that the place we want to go also seems so far away in the distance... It’s the beginning of a journey, and the beginnings of anything are always difficult.

The imagery to accompany this is more subtle than the others, since the imagery in the two music videos released during this album (Agust D (title) and Give It To Me) are less about this more ‘melancholic’ theme. So I went with the colour scheme of the music videos (darker greens, turquoises and blues, with bursts of yellow, orange and red as part of the flames and dramatic lighting). I also used the glimpse of a ladder we see in Agust D (ladders are steeped in lots of traditional symbology, and I also wanted something angular and red to contrast nicely with the green background, so I won’t go into too much about that).

And although the music videos are quite dark, I wanted to keep the light and clouds around the moon (which I’ll get to in a minute) bright. And although I feel like I could have made it a touch darker, I like the overall vibe of the piece, as it doesn’t feel too gloomy.

(Important thing to mention, I didn’t create this triptych to psychoanalyse everything in the Rapline’s mixtapes which may or may not relate to their mental health. This piece is a wholly personal piece, with using my own emotional responses to the mixtapes as a way to look at recovering and learning to love yourself...)

The oversized clothes (with a big focus on the folds of the clothing) was inspired by the Spanish Surrealist artist Remedios Varo, who I only discovered recently but immediately fell in love with her dream-like paintings. In particular, this piece was inspired by the first panel in her own triptych she painted between 1961-62.

This piece (called Toward the Tower) was another starting basis for background styles and colour-schemes, as well as the more stylised (but detailed) figures, clothing and buildings. The piece is Varo’s own commentary on life in a convent, and the ideas of entrapment and freedom (which are continued throughout the triptych). And although this differs greatly from my own triptych, I think the way in which Varo approached the artworks and theme are something I wanted to emulate in my own piece.

Now onto the moon iconography I included. Now, because I initially started with J-Hope, who I made into the Sun was more of an after thought, this idea only really came about because of that. But as soon as I made that choice, I realised how perfect it would be to have Suga be his seemingly ‘opposite’: the moon.

The moon gets its ‘power’ (so to speak) from the light of the sun, and the gravity that binds it to our planet and allows it to control tides and effect seasons (I think... Look, I don’t pretend to know everything about the moon, ok, I just think she’s beautiful and doing a great job...). So the idea behind this is that in fact to start a journey of self-love or recovery, we often have to look to others for advice and support. (This may be actually seeking out help from a professional, chatting to a friend or family member, or simply discussing your thoughts openly to a diary or something similar...). We need to make an effort to share our burden with ‘others’, even if it is difficult.

(I don’t pretend to know everything, or anything, about dealing with mental health, by the way. But I do know a bit about learning to love yourself, and dealing with moving on from a rough patch... Basically, I’m only speaking from my personal experiences so please don’t come for me....)

I think Yoongi, along with the Agust D mixtape, fit perfectly with the concept of the moon. A big part of this is the cycles of the moon, and the very nature of change and movement which that encompasses. I went with a full moon in the sky, as it usually indicates the end of the cycle (i.e. the end of your difficult past) and suggests the start of a new one (i.e. the start of a brighter future).

The flames are mainly a crossover from Rm’s piece, although fire is a big theme in Suga’s music videos (and personality in general). Though I will go more into the fire in Rm’s piece...

The final thing I want to talk about for Suga’s part is the lyrics I included on the ribbon. I decided instead of trying to wade through all the songs on each mixtape to find the perfect lyric, I’d instead take the lyrics from their more reason Trivia tracks on the Love Yourself: Answer album.

Suga’s, which is called Seesaw (and is my personal favourite, I might add), speaks of a kind of ‘seesaw’ battle that exists between himself and someone (or something?) else. I’ll admit, I haven’t looked into the reasoning or real meaning behind the song, but I was drawn to the lyrics: 니가 없는 이 시소 위를 걸어 니가 없던 처음의 그때처럼 (I’m walking on this seesaw without you just like the beginning when you weren’t here). I interpreted this as the ‘you’ representing the version of yourself that you want to be, versus the version of yourself that you are at that point in time... The precariousness of walking on a seesaw and trying to balance public personas and internal monologues is a very poignant theme, even to people like you or me. There’s also a sadness to the lyrics, the idea that the situation feels hopeless, like it was before. It’s a cycle, perhaps, of self-hatred (something we all get into now and again). And, just like on a seesaw, one step in the wrong direction and we can easily fall back into old ways and viewpoints of ourselves...

Primarily, Suga’s piece is a beginning. The beginning to one of the most difficult journeys we take in life; the journey to loving ourselves.

The next piece is actually not Rm, despite his being the central panel. Obviously, the colours and imagery are supposed to flow into each other in the order they are presented, but I decided half way through that it made more sense in terms of my message to have J-Hope’s be the actual ‘second panel’.

So, here is where I’ll talk about the very first piece of this triptych I created; J-Hope and ‘Daydream’.

The whole idea of creating a triptych for the rapline’s mixtapes came to me as soon as J-Hope had released Hope World. I love the stark contrast between each of the member’s styles, both musically and aesthetically, as well as the way that they all reflect an overall ‘bangtan’ feel.

And actually out of all the music videos, ‘Daydream’ is probably one of my favourites. The whole vibe, use of colour, editing style, and the way it works seamlessly with the song is basically perfection, and it fits with J-Hope’s personality and music style brilliantly as well. And although the album itself didn’t speak to me as much as the other two member’s had; it still really showcases the talent and diversity of J-Hope’s music ability.

Right, now to my artwork... So I was obviously inspired heavily by the Daydream music video, both in the aesthetics and symbolism (aka the fish). It also fits perfectly with the surrealist style I was going for. The overall brightness of the mv was perfect for the sense of ‘hope’ I was trying to portray in this piece.

So this was based on the very last panel of Varo’s triptych, which is called ‘The Escape’.

Much as the title suggests, the final panel is an escape up into the mountains. It suggests a climb away from dark storm clouds into the light. And my own interpretation in my piece was definitely based on this sense of freedom. But to fit with both J-Hope’s mixtape (aka the Blue Side outro track which deserved a full song!!!!!!), my own personal connections and also to fit with the aesthetics of Varo’s piece, I wanted to include the element of blue and the storm clouds.

The main reason behind this is to reflect the fact that even if someone appears happy on the outside, there’s always a chance something darker and melancholic... This doesn’t undermine or make the happiness you may see or feel any less real, it’s just important to acknowledge that hardships exist and are all a part of life... Going through tough times, having ‘scars’, shows that you have survived!

The lyrics I used from his Trivia: Just Dance reflect this idea too. They translate roughly as ‘my dreams that once had no answer, now become something we can relate to’... Also, the position of Hoseok’s head (which was partly just because I really like the reference image because he look beautiful to be quite honest), looking away as if towards the future, fits with this concept too.

I think I wanted this piece to mainly be the dream of recovery, the dream version of yourself... The bright sunshine in your life that you hope one day will be reality... Putting it and Suga’s either side of the Rm central piece helps it to reflect the idea of Past - Present - Future. Not necessarily in a chronological sense, but more the way in which they react and connect to eachother.

The final piece of the series is the central Rm panel, which is also the one with the most symbology.

I actually did this one as a part of a collab with other artists to celebrate Namjoon’s birthday (it had to the hashtag ‘infinitereasonstolovejoonie’ and it was the cutest thing ever!!!).

Ok so there’s a lot to breakdown with this piece, so I’m going to start first with the reference I used for Rm’s head. I knew I wanted to use something from the Joke music video, because I really loved the straitjacket look coupled with the extreme chiaroscuro used in the mv. Unfortunately, most of the reference images were really bad quality (since they were mostly just screencaps), as well as them being difficult to draw angels, making it all the more of a battle for me to draw... I like that I made him look down, purely because it both contrasts with Suga and J-Hope, and also in the way it suggests both defeat and hope. Defeat, in the way looking down is linked with shame, and hope in the idea that it could almost suggest that Rm is about to look up...

The background also links to these contrasting ideas. The dark blue and stormy clouds, mixed with the flashes of lightening help to create a sense of the phrase of ‘every cloud has a silver lining’. This idea was mainly my own invention, since most of the references (including the music videos and Varo’s paintings) didn’t include lightning. The colourscheme was vaguely inspired by both the Joke music video as well as Varo’s central panel.

Titled as ‘Embroidering Earths Mantel’, it is probably the piece I took the least inspiration from out of the three. Varo’s piece shows the girls in the convent she had known to be trapped and forced to work, a hooded figure in darker clothes overseeing them... This sense of danger and being unable to escape was the main concept I took away from this... Another thing that I took from this was the use of the yellow in contrast to the dark and stormy sky (which I chose to do flames, which were taken from the Awakening music video).

Speaking of the Awakening mv, I decided to only really use the flames from the aesthetics, but still use the name as the title of the piece. ‘Awakening’, much like Rm’s looking down head, is evocative of moving from one state (being asleep/looking down) to another (being awake/looking up). It’s not awake, it’s not final or definitive. It’s a transitional period.

Put in the centre of Suga and J-Hope’s pieces, Rm’s represents the ‘present’. A time when you’re working through recovery, or where you’re beginning to learn to love yourself. It’s not an easy or particularly ‘happy’ time, and it often contains a lot of hardships and difficult to decisions.

I thought this fitted the best with Rm, who is the leader of BTS. He has to carry a lot of responsibility on his shoulders, which I represented literally in my piece with the 6 lightbulbs/microphones that drip onto his shoulders (this imagery was inspired by both the Do You music video, as well as the album cover). Another interpretation, and probably the one I was aiming to be more prominent, was the idea that although being a leader means he is responsible for a lot of the groups public image/etc, the other members aren’t a burden, but instead act as an anchor for his strength... You can almost see the ‘drips’ acting as puppet strings; the other members lifting him up when times get tough.

This links back to the idea of the moon I talked about in Suga’s piece. Although recovery and learning to love yourself, or whatever it is you’re dealing with, can’t be solved immediately just because you have a loving family or friends, having a person you trust to talk to can help you deal with things a lot easily then trying to go it alone... This is probably one of the most difficult things in dealing with mental health struggles, since most of us are really reluctant to ask for help in fear of being an annoyance to others... We always make excuses that our problems, whatever they may be, aren’t worthwhile discussing or talking about since everyone has their own problems and you don’t want to burden them even more...

(And although this is advice that I rarely take myself, I just want to say Your problems are not worthless, you are not a burden to others, and you deserve to be happy!)

The final part of Rm’s piece is the lyrics I chose from his Trivia: Love. 너 땜에 알았어 왜 사람과 사랑이 비슷한 소리가 나는지 ‘I found out because of you Why “person” (saram) and “love” (sarang) sound similar’. I chose this both because I wanted it to fit with a ‘reason to love joonie’ (i.e. his brilliant lyric writing skills), and also for the way it relates to my own experiences.

The ‘person’ in my case is less an actual singular being, and more the art community online and the k-pop fandom... So without going into details, the last few years haven’t been the easiest for me, so having the k-pop community to enjoy memes with, listen to and get excited about music with and to be artistically inspired by really helped me get through feeling lonely and down... And although I’ve (luckily) never had any horrific experiences, I know that a lot of people who like k-pop and are a part of community have (or are having them), and having k-pop around has helped them survive the most difficult situations...

I wanted this triptych to both a personal and universal piece, something people can relate to and understand (as well as be able to appreciate on a purely aesthetic level)....

I hope that everyone who has taken time to read this ridiculously long essay about this piece get’s this sense of inclusion, which is something I truly admire about BTS in particular...

Just remember, if you’re going through a difficult time, things really will get better! Recovery, Life, Self Love; it’s all a journey that there’s no guidebook to...

And to quote BTS’s ‘Young Forever’:

~~Dream : Hope : Keep Going : Keep Going~~

Thank you for reading!

[this piece is available on my redbubble btw]

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psychosistr · 5 years

Text

Hero- Part 2 (CaeJose Dancers!AU)

Second part of this section for more sweetness between these two x3 Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

“You sure you don’t want a ride home, Jojo?” The deep voice of her mother’s assistant, Loggins, asked Joseph as a large group of men and women dressed in formal wear left the front gates of a lavish mansion.

“Nah, it’s fine.” Joseph replied with a smile. “It’s a nice night, so I think I’ll walk for a bit. Catch you guys later!” She waved to the other members of her troupe before walking off down the sidewalk outside of the mansion towards her apartment down town.

She could have caught a ride with her mother, but she needed some time to herself every now and then. The fresh air was nice and the sky was clear for a change, it made sense to walk around right now.

Besides, she needed some time to calm down. Big parties like that always left her feeling stressed: The awkward introductions. The nervousness over how people viewed her. The frustration of constantly having to correct people’s pronouns for her. And, worst of all, HER CLOTHES. She HATED the outfit she was wearing, but had no choice in the matter...

She stopped by a big water fountain while cutting through a park and took a look at herself in the constantly rippling reflection and saw her hated outfit.

A suit.

A purple double-breasted tuxedo with a black shawl, gold buttons, a black tie, white shirt with black buttons underneath, and black loafers, to be exact.

Joseph absolutely LOATHED the sight of herself in the formal wear. The only thing she didn’t mind was the color scheme, but her hatred for the outfit as a whole cancelled out the one thing she was okay with.

Pants, she was okay with. Shirts, she of course didn’t mind. Hell, she was even okay with wearing shoes that didn’t have heels to them just for the sake of comfort and practicality. But there was something profoundly different about walking around in a suit that made her skin crawl.

Joseph sighed and reached into her pocket, pulling out a penny. ‘Might as well put this to good use.’ She flipped the coin into the air with her thumb, making her wish while it spun in the air before plunging into the water to join more of its kind below the surface. ‘I wish I didn’t have to wear this stupid suit ever again.’

“Jojo?” A familiar voice called out, getting her attention. She turned towards the source and saw Caesar walking towards her from across the park. “I thought that was you!”

Joseph blinked in surprise, not expecting to see the blond Italian here of all places. “Caesar?”

She tried not to blush as she looked him over. Not expecting to see him was one thing. Not expecting to see him in his tight leather pants and sexy leather jacket with a black mesh top that showed off his torso was another matter entirely. The golden studs in his ears and various chains and pendants around his neck that hung low and directed attention towards his exposed midriff and tightly encased nether region certainly didn’t help, either…

Caesar stopped in front of her by the fountain, his usual charming smile already in place. “I must say, I didn’t expect to see you tonight. Not that I’m complaining, of course.” He looked around curiously. “Are you here all by yourself, mia bellisima angela?”

She nodded her head, trying to keep her eyes above waist-level as she spoke to him. “Yeah. It was a nice night, so I thought I’d walk home.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Besides, seeing Caesar was already helping her feel better. She glanced around similar to he had earlier. “What about you? You, um, out with someone…?”

In her head she was repeatedly chanting “please say no, please say no, please say no”. She REALLY didn’t want to think he was on a date with someone.

He seemed to pick up on the subtext of what she said and dismissed the thought with a shake of his head. “Not at all. I was catching up with some friends at a bar down the street. I thought some fresh air might help clear my head enough so I could drive back home- I didn’t drink much, and I don’t want to leave my bike at the bar.”

Joseph’s face lit up with a surprised but excited smile. “No way! You ride too?!” She reached over and started tugging at the sleeves of his leather jacket. “I knew you dressed like a biker, but I thought it was just for show! What’s your ride?”

Caesar grinned, allowing her to inspect his riding jacket as she wished. “An MV Augsta F4CC with a custom 1080cc engine and over 200 horse power. It’s my pride and joy. I can easily hit 200 miles per hour in a race. You?”

“Figures you’d like one of those Italian speed-machines.” Joseph put her hands on her hips, puffing her chest out proudly. “My baby’s a British classic: A remodeled Norton Commando, the mk3 edition, with an 880cc engine and custom breezer bars, all with a chrome finish. It may not be as fast as yours, but I can still top at 130 AND I can hold it there pretty much all day.”

Caesar put a hand over his heart with a dramatic sigh. “A lady after my own heart.” He winked at her with that flirtatious smile of his. “I would love to go for a ride with you sometime. Perhaps even a race?”

Joseph grinned, always up for a challenge, and held a hand out to him. “You’re on! My baby and I would be happy to wipe the floor with you any day.”

“It’s a date, then.” Caesar then took her hand, shook it briefly, and kissed it while maintaining eye contact with her.

Joseph felt her heart skip a beat and jump up into her throat, all while her face burned like it was on fire. This guy REALLY didn’t play fair. She didn’t completely hate it, though…

“Y-Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.” She tried not to sound as flustered as she felt, but wasn’t quite sure if she managed it.

Caesar chuckled softly, not giving away if he noticed her flustered state, and smoothly laced his fingers through hers. “Well, seeing as we are both here to enjoy the fresh air, how about we walk together for a bit? The night is always more lovely with good company, si?”

Joseph couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment and took him up on the offer. The two took their time walking through the park, enjoying the scenery, skipping stones across the small pond in the middle, and talking about anything and everything that came to mind. They learned a lot about each other- Joseph learned about Caesar’s family back in Italy and his past as a street thug, his favorite foods and hobbies, and that he had a phobia of bugs that she would have to remember later for practical jokes. In return, she told him about her own family in both America and England, the number of fights she’d gotten into growing up, her love of dogs, and how she actually knew how to fly small planes but that her family forbid her from flying after the third time she survived a plane crash.

At one point, the conversation shifted to the topic of favorite clothing brands and designers. After Joseph finished bragging about the front-row seats she had at the last Paris fashion show thanks to her grandmother’s connections, Caesar gave her an appraising look from head to toe.

“By the way, I hope you don’t think it too rude of me to ask, but..” He gestured to her suit. “May I ask why you’re wearing something so…bland, compared to your usual style?”

Joseph let her head fall back with an exasperated groan. “Uggggggh, don’t remind me..” She reluctantly looked back down at herself. “I was at my uncle’s party with the rest of the troupe and it was a black-tie event and this was literally the ONLY thing I had to wear and I HATE IT!”

Caesar frowned a bit, bringing a hand to his chin as if he was thinking about something. “Really? Nothing else at all?”

“Trust me,” She said with a scowl. “If I had literally ANYTHING else, I’d be wearing it. All of the dresses I have are too flashy for ‘sophisticated’ parties, but it’s hard to find anything in my size that ISN’T flashy and over the top.” She looked down at her sleeves as if they were mocking her. “God, I can’t stand wearing this stupid suit- it’s stuffy, too tight around my shoulders, makes everyone keep calling me ‘sir’ like I’m some old man, and it’s just..” She fished for the right words before settling on the only thing she could think of with a sad sigh. “It’s not me.”

Caesar’s eyes softened as he listened to her, giving her an understanding, sympathetic frown. “……” He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed in what she at first thought was a sympathetic gesture of comfort, but soon realized it was something else when he suddenly gripped the expensive fabric of her jacket sleeve and pulled it down HARD.

Joseph let out a surprised yelp when the seam split apart and he tore the sleeve off of her arm, tossing it carelessly somewhere behind him. “Ah! What the fuck, Caesar?!”

Instead of answering her right away, Caesar proceeded to untie her black tie and drop it on the ground. Then, while grinding his heel into the discarded tie repeatedly, he hooked two fingers into her coat’s buttons at the top for just a second before violently yanking them down and breaking off several of them.

After that task was done, he confused her by kneeling down to the ground. Once down on his knees, Caesar pulled out a pocket knife and glanced up at her. “Don’t move.”

Joseph was still confused, but his tone didn’t sound like a threat. She decided to trust him and see where he was going with all of this. “Okay..?”

Caesar grabbed the fabric of her right pants leg and pulled it to the side, moving it so it was no longer flush against Joseph’s strong legs. Once he had the amount of space he needed, Caesar stabbed the knife into the fabric and cut downwards, leaving a long gash that tore the purple fabric apart. He then moved to her other leg and cut the hem so that it busted and frayed apart. To finish everything off, Caesar, for some reason, dug his fingers into the dirt and grass beneath them and pulled out a large, damp clump of earth. After breaking the clump up in his hand, Caesar smeared it across her white shirt and the front of her jacket. He ended with wiping his dirty hand off on her shoes until they were scuffed and filthy.

“There.” Caesar stated while rising back up to his feet and brushing off his own pants. “All done.”

“Uh huh..” Joseph said with a raised eyebrow as she examined what remained of her suit. “Now that you’re ‘done’, mind explaining why I look like I just lost a fight with a lawnmower?”

Caesar gestured calmly with one hand in the general vicinity of her clothing. “Would you say that suit is no longer wearable?”

She picked at a frayed spot where one of the buttons used to be with a confused frown. “Well, yeah, you did a pretty good job of-” She stopped and blinked when the pieces finally clicked into place. “……” She looked back up at him with a surprised expression. “Caesar..you..”

He smiled at her. Not in his usually charming or flirtatious way, but in a much more caring and sweet way- similar to the look he gave her after their first dance. “Now you won’t be able to wear that suit anymore. If someone tries to insist that it can be mended, just let me know and I’ll burn it.”

“Oh my god..” Joseph said softly under her breath, still in shock. Then, her face lit up with a bright smile and she repeated herself in a much louder voice “Oh my god! Caesar! You brilliant bastard! I could hug you right now!”

He chuckled, apparently delighted by her newfound joy. “I would prefer if you didn’t, seeing as you’re covered in dirt at the moment and I actually LIKE my current outfit.”

“Too bad! You’re getting hugged anyway!” She tried to grab him, but he ducked out of the way just in time. This lead to a roundabout game of tag with her attempting to hug/tackle him while he tried to avoid her. It lasted for a few minutes until she pulled out her trump card right after he dodged one of her grabs. With a smirk, she pointed at him and said. “Now you’re gonna say ‘Sorry, mia bella dea, but I’m afraid you’re too slow to catch me!’.”

Caesar smirked playfully while spreading his arms out in a shrugging motion. “Sorry, mia bella dea, but I’m afraid you’re too slow to catch me!” He blinked when he realized what just happened, frozen momentarily in shock. “Wait, what-?!” He was cut off by a startled exclamation when Joseph suddenly tackle-hugged him to the ground. “Mama mia!”

Joseph laughed while looking down at him with a victorious grin. “Looks like I won this game, Caesarino!”

After recovering from the initial shock of the tackle, Caesar looked up at her with a curious expression. “Did you just call me ‘Caesarino’?”

She nodded proudly. “Yep. I figured it’s only fair that you get a nickname, too, since you always call me different things. I may not be able to come up with a bunch of sweet things to say in Italian like you can, but I can use the all-mighty power of search engines to come up with something!”

Caesar still seemed surprised for a bit, before his lips easily slid back into that sweet smile of his. “Whatever you wish to call me is fine with me, bella.”

“!!” She blushed at his response and the way he smiled at her. The fact that he had just called her “beautiful”, with no other name attached this time, somehow flustered her more than usual. She glanced away, not able to meet his eyes with the way he was smiling so fondly up at her. “W-Well, good, ‘cause I’m gonna do it anyway..so..yeah..”

He chuckled softly under his breath and brought a hand up to gently touch her burning hot cheek. “But of course, mia bella angela. I have no plans of stopping you.” Her heart fluttered and she really wanted to lean further into that contact. “However, would you mind if we got off of the ground? I certainly don’t mind having you on top of me, but I’m afraid there’s a rock digging into my spine.”

She blinked, suddenly realizing the position they were still in. “Oh! Y-Yeah, right!” She got up off of him and offered him a hand up. “Sorry about that.”

“No harm done.” He took her hand and pulled himself up to his feet. “Grazie, bellisima fanciulla.” He brushed himself off a little, but it was pointless as there was too much dirt and grass on him now, so he gave up and settled for kicking a rock (presumably the one he mentioned earlier) away from their general vicinity. “You certainly got me good with that one. How did you do that, by the way?”

“Hey, I’m more than just a pretty face, you know.” She smiled, thumbing at her nose in a confident gesture. “It’s my secret technique. I’m essentially a genius and I can predict what someone’s gonna do or say next. It’s really handy in fights, arguments- hell, I even use it when I dance to predict if my partner’s going to be able to do something or if they’re about to make a mistake so I can cover for them.”

Caesar looked her over with a smile, like he was appraising her and was pleased with what he saw. “My, my..beauty, grace, strength, wit, skill, AND intelligence? You really are the total package, aren’t you?”

“Damn right I am!” She said proudly, hands on her hips and trying to act cocky and confident to hide the butterflies fluttering in her stomach from hearing Caesar say that. “It’s about time somebody noticed!”

“Mhm, I agree.” He took one of her hands from her hip and raised it to his lips, kissing it sweetly. “The fact that someone has not already noticed and stolen you away from the men of this world is surprising. Both a shame..and a blessing..” He looked into her eyes, his lips still near her hand, the look in those green orbs downright seductive. “Perhaps someone will have to correct that mistake, hm?”

“Y-Yeah..maybe..” She managed to reply.

Joseph’s cheeks felt hot and her knees felt weak. She was practically swooning from dealing with this Casanova and she actually liked it. She liked it A LOT. No one had ever tried to seduce her before. No one had even tried to approach and flirt with her since high school, and most of those were girls that she had to turn down since she was only attracted to men. Now, to have someone so thoughtful, charming, strong, and charismatic flirting with her, it was making her heart race and made her feel like she was floating on cloud nine.

Caesar gave her hand a gentle squeeze to bring her out of her thoughts. “Would you like a ride home, mia bella fanciulla? I’ve sobered up now and my bike is parked nearby, and I would feel terrible leaving a lady to walk home on her own this late at night.”

She almost said no. Almost said the automatic response of how she was tough enough to walk home by herself. But, somehow, she was able to stop herself. “You know what? Sure. Why don’t you show me to that little pocket-rocket racer of yours?” She joked with a grin.

He smiled that charming Casanova smile and led her by the hand.

One exhilarating ride that probably broke several traffic laws later, Joseph was clinging to Caesar tightly as he did one more high-speed wheelie before they reached her apartment building.

“Whoooooo!” She laughed and shouted excitedly as she held on securely to Caesar’s waist, her voice muffled by both the purple helmet around her head and the hum of the engine. It had been a while since she was the passenger for these sorts of stunts, but it was just as much fun as when she did them herself. She laughed louder when Caesar was able to keep the bike popped up onto the back tire while skidding around a corner for the turn leading to her street. “Hahahaha! You’re crazy, damn it!”

“Ha! This is nothing!” Caesar called back to her, his voice muffled by his own orange helmet- the matching counterpart to Joseph’s purple one as both were custom painted to match the stunning metallic orange and shimmering purple of the motorcycle. “You should see me when I race! If I don’t have to worry about cops, I can pull off flips on this beauty!”

“You’ll have to show me sometime!” Joseph would like to see that. She loved how much of a dare devil Caesar was turning out to be. Who would have guessed the flirty Italian pretty boy had a wild side? Joseph REALLY liked it, though.

Caesar finally lowered the bike down onto two wheels and gradually slowed to a stop in front of the tall, fourteen story apartment complex that looked like a small skyscraper. He turned off the engine after parking the bike along the sidewalk and took off his helmet, shaking his hair out a bit. “Wow, this is where you live? It looks nice.”

Joseph took off her own helmet and got off the bike so she could stretch her tense muscles properly. “Thanks. I live on the top floor.”

“By yourself?” Caesar asked as he stood to do the same.

“Technically, yeah.” She said while handing him the helmet so he could put it away in its compartment. “But my mom lives in the apartment right next door to me, so we spend a lot of time at each other’s places.”

Caesar gave her a concerned look as he regarded her clothes. “I was unaware you two lived so close together. Will she be mad about what happened to your outfit?”

Joseph shrugged. “Eh, maybe. But it’s alright.” A smirk appeared on her face and she winked at him. “If she says anything, I’ll just say the look didn’t really SUIT me.”

He groaned and leaned back against his bike. “Ugh, that was terrible.” He shook his head and tried to hide his face with one hand, but she could still see him smiling. “That joke was terrible and you should feel terrible for having brought it into the world.”

“And yet I don’t.” She said teasingly while sticking her tongue out at him. “Anyway, thanks for the ride..and for the suit..and, well, yeah, everything, really. Tonight was..” She glanced away, a smile on her face even as she blushed. “It was really fun. I..wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime..”

Caesar smiled back at her, that caring, sweet smile from earlier. “Neither would I.” He pulled his phone out of one of his jacket pockets and handed it to her. “If you want, you can put your number in here. That would make it easier to talk and set up a time to do this again. But, as I said, only if you want to.”

Her smile softened a bit as she took his phone and put her contact information into it. He really was thoughtful- flirty, but not forceful, and not going forward with anything until he knew she was comfortable. “Sure, it’ll give me someone to text when I’m pretending to listen to my mom.” She sent a text to herself on his phone and felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. “There, and now I have yours.”

She handed his phone back to him and he looked at the information she entered with a raised eyebrow. “Did you really save your number as ‘Joseph the Greatest and Most Amazing Joestar, aka, Jojo’ in my contacts?”

“Yes I did.” She said with a grin. “And you’d better leave it that way, too, or I’ll go in and mix up all your numbers later.”

He sighed in exasperation, but smiled and put his phone away. “Very well, then. I won’t touch it.” He stood up from his bike and looked at her with a fond smile. “Until next time, mia bellisima dea.”

He took her hand and kissed it. She blushed, thinking that would be the end of it, but was surprised when he suddenly moved in closer and placed a warm, tender kiss to the corner of her mouth.

It was far from a full-on kiss, but it still left her heart pounding and her head spinning just the same. Her breath caught in her throat and she froze in place like a statue. All she could do was watch as he pulled away with that sexy, seductive smile of his and wink at her before donning his helmet once more and taking off down the street on his bike without another word.

After he was gone, she brought a hand up to her mouth. Her fingertips touched the spot that Caesar had kissed- it didn’t feel any different from the rest of her face, but she could swear the spot was still warm and tingling like his lips were still there. She kept her hand there as she walked into her apartment complex, moving like a stunned zombie with the same wide-eyed expression on her face as she called down the elevator, rode it by herself to the top, got out, walked to her front door, unlocked and opened it, walked inside, and closed the door behind her.

It was only after she had walked over to the couch, grabbed a throw pillow off the top, and pressed it to her face that she finally said something. Well, not so much said as screamed into the pillow like a teenage girl.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Her voice was muffled by the pillow and she screamed repeatedly to get it all out of her system. “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOOOOOOD!!” She let the pillow slide down enough that she could hug it excitedly in her large arms. “He kissed me!!” She let herself fall backwards to lie on the couch and covered her face once more with the pillow so she could scream again. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!”

Her scream soon dissolved into giddy laughter. She still couldn’t believe it: Caesar had KISSED her! He’d actually kissed her! A suave, hot, charming guy like that had kissed her! She was so happy she could pass out!

She set the pillow aside on the couch and pulled her phone out of her pocket. Looking at the text message on the screen that simply read “Caesarino~<3” with his as-of-yet unsaved number, she couldn’t stop smiling. Caesar kissed her and, based on what he’d said when getting her number, he seemed very interested in seeing her and doing so again.

She sighed, the butterflies that had been in her stomach earlier that evening now morphed into a bubbly feeling throughout her whole body that was much more comfortable.

Speaking of comfort, she remembered that the uncomfortable suit she was still wearing was dirty now and probably messing up the couch a bit. She got up and started changing out of the ruined clothes. After changing into a set of black and yellow super-hero themed pajamas, she gathered the various parts of the suit and deposited them in her garbage can.

‘Well,’ She thought with a smile when she went back to retrieve her phone from the couch. ‘It’s a bit of a roundabout way to grant a wish..but I really don’t mind this outcome at all.’

She looked down at the screen and smiled once more. She couldn’t wait to see Caesar again…

<-Part 1 Next Story->

-From the Beginning-

#caejose #caesar zeppeli #joseph joestar #dancer!au #modern!au #trans!character #trans!joseph #general fluff and sweetness

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