#and then pretends you never exists. not to mention your whole existence is a reason to get bullied at

[iwendix]

WE'RE TIED,

WE'RE BOUNDED

request: "nsfw where we are the bride by obligation of harin and since suji arrived it caught our attention so when suji wants to recruit us to finish the pyramid game one thing leads to another or something like that". | me: well, something like that. maybe I went a little overboard with the size of the sfw part, but I hope you'll still like it!! it's actually my first time writing to request, so I'll try to be get more skilled in the future🫶🏻 |

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: not proofreaded(probably misspellings, etc), smut with a plot. harin being kinda manipulative. possessive!harin, mentioning of harin's abandonment issues. fingering, rough sex, harin being mad, harin swearing, dom!harin, sub!reader, guilt bringing, guilty!reader, fingering, edging, arranged marriege(mentioned like soon to be thing), harin called reader a bitch a couple of times. y/n using, harin teasingly call reader wife/wifey.

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: reader and harin have been connected since their childhood, this is something normal for the children of businessmen and you are both used to it. “You'll get married and our companies will unite, it'll be beneficial!” — that's what you always heard from your parents. though, you liked harin, really and sincerely. but when suji appeared out of nowhere with this idea of her's about destroying harin's game, you saw it as an opportunity. a mistake. you shouldn't have allowed yourself to be blinded by false hope.

you, dayeon and doah — victims of circumstances and as doah once said: “victims of your parents’ ambitions and hunger for success in business". to some extent this was true, because from the moment you were children you had to constantly spend time with harin and each other. no one cared whether you wanted it or not, the main thing was that your parents wanted it that way. doah was never delighted with this situation, but she also never resented it too much, especially openly. she is too rational to be angry about something that she can't change or control. but dayeon is a completely different matter... emotional, hot tempered and in general have absolutely no tolerance to everything that annoyed her. you and doah offen “ground” her so that she doesn’t do or say anything to harin out of emotion that would lead her to being beaten by her father. seems that in your so called friend group you were the most positive about this whole situation. of course, sometimes it made you feel depressed, like you didn't even exist as a person at all, like you only existed as just an appendage to harin. or at least, this is how your father and mother treated you. anyway, you never blamed harin for this, on the contrary, as kids you two got along very well and one even can say that you became attached to harin. maybe this is one of the reasons why you're so resigned to the fact that in the future you'll be obliged to marry her. everything went as usual: harin enjoyed her game, you sometimes spent time together and, as always, she didn't understand od felt the fact that your feelings for her were sincere, genuine and real, hat you really liked her and wasn't around only because your parents told you to be.. well, or maybe she just pretended to don't understand.

your almost calm and already familiar life has changed with the arrival of a new girl. this new girl — son suji, from the very beginning seemed somehow unusual, there was something in her that wasn't in jaeun and other students. it was something decisive, something that screamed about thw problems she can cause. when you find out about her desire to deal with the game, your first thought and instinct was to tell harin as fast as possible.i mean, she loves the game so much!... she loves this game, she finds peace in it, even though, game is leading to violence mostly. It was a difficult choice: let the game be and let harin be happy or join suji and destroy the game, but harin will be devastated. you were thinking about whether you should tell harin about suji's plan but in the end you were able to pull yourself together and keep quiet. you wanted to see harin happy, you really did, and although the game made her happy, it also destroyed her to the same extent. continuing the pyramid game harin only drowned out her pain and put it in the far corner, hiding it so deep that no one could ever reach it. but in fact, this is still the same harin, the same traumatized little girl who can't forgive people for what they did to her. you thought that if the game will end harin would have to face reality, sharply and openly, without all her so painstakingly built protective walls. it would be difficult, but you would be there for her, so it won't be that bad, right?

you tried to be careful, tried not to be suspicious and too obvious but harin is too smart and attentive not to notice your strange behavior and that you suddenly began to spend time with suji and her company. she was watching what was going on with you, she wanted to make sure exactly what you were doing, cuz accusing you of something that you were not involved in would be stupid.

one day harin called you to the principal's office. of course, even the principal herself was not there as often as harin, you, dayeon and doa were there but still. you thought that this was an ordinary meeting of your “group of friends” and when you entered the room you expected to see all three, but to your surprise only harin was here. she was sitting on the headmistress's desk, her legs crossed, and her head tilted to the side, thoughtfully. her fingers hold the cigarette, her lips wrap around the filter and she takes a puff, after a few seconds releasing a stream of smoke, making you wrinkle your nose a little from the smell of nicotine that filled the room. harin's attention switched to you when she heard the door have been opened. she looks at you up and down, as if sizing you, got up from the table and walked to the door. her shoulder brushed against yours, the door is closer. it bothered you a little but you didn't pay too much attention to it. Kharin walked again to the headmistress’s desk, leaned her elbows on it and called you closer. her eyes glare into yours and she shakes off the ashes directly onto the floor and speaks.

"how are you doing lately, wifey?" she says it indifferently, but you can't help but frown a little at her words. did she really just called you "wifey"?... this is a teasing nickname that dayeon and wooyi gave you when they first heard that yours and harin's parents were planning to get you two married. you sighed and just nodded, meaning that you're fine. harin raises an eyebrow at this and takes another drag on the cigarette, her plump, pink lips wrapped around cigarette... focus. you need to focus.

"everything's alright, you say? hm. then tell me, am I blind?"

you confused by her question but shake your head.

"then maybe I'm deaf?"

you shake your head again.

"mhm... do you think I'm stupid then?"

you're even more confused now. "no, of course i don't think so. what are you talking about, harin-ah?..."

harin takes one last drag on her cigarette before throwing it on the floor, stepping on it with the tip of her lacquered shoe and trampling cigarette. her hands rise to the collar of your shirt, first gently touching it, as if simply straightening it, and then she sharply tugs on it, pulling you towards herseld, causing you to stagger, almost falling and yelp, grabbing her shoulder to maintain your balance.

"then why do you think that I don't know what suji is planning? why do you think that I don’t know that you’re involved?" harin clicks her tongue, her hand comes up to your chin, at first just lifting it, forcing you to look into her eyes, and then squeezing it a little. "you know, I trusted you. yes, a little, but it's still more than my trust to others."

you open your mouth to speak, to explain that you didn’t do and didn’t want anything bad for her, but you are interrupted when harin squeezes your chin painfully and interrupts you. "shut up."

you fall silent, just bite the inside of your cheek, trying to distract yourself from the pain in your chin and harin's piercing gaze that digs right into your eyes.

"you know, our parents have been planning our wedding since childhood. uou never had a say in this, did you? mm, but by the way, I was kinda the initiator of this. I once said as a child that I wanted to marry you, and my grandma really took it seriously because it’s good for business. I've always thought that you're a little... more reasonable than dayeon, doa and others, that's why I chose you. i thought all this have some sense and meaning to you too. seems, I was wrong." Harin's grip on your chin weakens and her hand trails to your cheek, stroking it gently. In different situation, you would have been glad of such an affection from her, but now it felt like something empty.

"you wanted to destroy the game, right? destroy the only thing I value? and how can you do this to me, y/n? conscience doesn't gnaw you at all?"

with every word she says, you begin to feel guilt it gathers drop by drop, turning into a whole damn ocean which will overflow its shores if harin continued just a little bit longer and push just a little harder.

"silent? well, of course, of course... maybe that's why your parents don't really care about you." she shrugs as if it was the most normal thing to say. you know that when harin upset she is far from nice, so you're not surprised when she said something like that. besides, you always knew that your parents didn’t really care about you... but still, you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t upset you.

"I'm disappointed." she added, and yeah, you can see it, disappointment etched in her eyes and you can see that she is stressed too. considering her abandonment issues, the fact that you were interested in suji's plan must have hit harin harder than she lets on. suddenly harin grabs your hips and with a sharp movement turns you around, lifting you up and placing you on the principal's desk, almost pinning you to it. her fingers they found a way to the collar of your shirt, simply tearing off the top button, revealing a view of your neck. the tip of the nose touches your neck, and the tongue smoothly traces a line along your vein. she is so close that you can smell her perfume: delicate, sweet, and an admixture of such a sharp aroma of tobacco. this combination of different aroma is already familia her habds gripping your hips almost painfully, forcing you to bite your lip to keep yourself from squeeking. you know that harin is stressed and upset, she needs it. her lips leave imprints of light pink lip gloss on your neck, wet kisses placed all over your neck. her knee move between your legs, pushing your soft thighs apart, and finally her knee presses against your crotch, giving you some friction. a quiet gasp leaves you and at that moment harin nibbled on your neck and sucked on your skin, leaving red mark, which in the future will become a small bruise, she loves to leave hickeys on you, to feel control. she's a little more rough today, more harsh than usually and you understand that you really hurt her, even if you didn't mean to in the first place. harin gets rid of your shirt and pulls your skirt and panties down to your knees. she says that you are already wet, but of course, today she'll torture you a little, she'll make sure you know that she is upset with you. her gentle hands gripping your waist so tightly, that there will probably be a bruises. she pishe you more onto the table making you literally lay on it, she leans over you, her tongue extends from your neck to your collarbones, paying attention to them, and then to your chest. her lips wrap around one of your nipples, first sucking and then squeezing with her teeth and tugging it. you arch your back, the back of your head hitting the table, but you ignore it, just trying to cope with what harin is now doing to your breast. it’s a bit painful, but your nipples are hard, so this treatment aroused you too. though, harin aroused you always, no matter harsh she or gentle.

"harin..." your voice trembled, she interrupted you.

"how could you do this to me, y/n? wanted to leave me? betray for suji? no, you're mine and that's it. you're only for me... I'll keep you that way..." she sounds confident, dominant even, as if trying to clearly highlight that she is in charge now, that you don't decide anything. but there is also a little trembling in her voice, she's not only stressed but also worried too, as if she is trying to onvince herself that she is still in control of the situation and what is happening between you two.

"spread your legs" harin saud sternly and you do as she asked. she frowned. "I said spread your fucking legs!..." you feel slap on your thigh and hard grip on your ass, you squeek and winced in pain but spread your legs further, trying to please her. harin grunted annoyedly. "what a bitch... why can't you just do what I'm telling you to..." she placed her hands on your knees and pushed them appart even more. fortunately, you have been doing gymnastics since childhood and you're flexible, cuz if you didn’t have such a flexible body, you would already be writhing in pain from such a strong pressure. you're already so wet that wetness even covered the table a little. without warning, harin suddenly pushed two fingers into you all the way, you whimpered, intuitively trying to close your legs but harin give you a stern look and you know better than upset her even more, especially since you're the one who upset her so much already. her lips kiss yours deeply, her tongue insistently pushes into your mouth, and her fingers continued pumping inside you. her movements so fast and harsh, deeper with each thrust. feels like like she's going to reach your cervix if keep moving like this. harin feels that you really lack air and takes pity on you a little, interrupting the kiss and giving you a chance to breathe. her fingers curl inside you, hitting all your sensitive spots and coaxing moans out of you.

"fucking!.... take it!..." harin growled and pushed inside you even more, thrusts so deep and hard that even she herself almost breathless. her digits literally knocks whimpers and high pitched moans out of you. your eyes watering and your legs trembling because of intensity of all this. harin feels the walls of your pussy clench around her fingers, her thumb is on your clitoris, massaging it, and her thrusts do not stop. you're literally at the peak, you can almost feel the nearing release.

"don't even think I'll let you cum now. you won't cum, or I'll fuck your brains out. don't fucking make me upset, y/n."

tears run down your cheeks due to overstimulation, you clenching around harin's fingers so much that it's even getting hard for her to move.

"please... harin i can't.... I'm sorry... I won't leave you, i swear, i never ever wanted to even..." you say, trough gasps for air. harin's eyes softenes a little, as well as her grip on your thighs. her soft spot for you getting better of her. harin's lips on yours, the kiss is much more calm and gentle than last, and her thrusts slowed down, becoming more pleasant than painful. you can't take it anymore, your walls clenching around her for the last time and you feel like everything fading away, pure pleasure etching with some pain in your sore muscles. harin pulls her fingers out off your pink and puffy from her harshness pussy, her knuckles all drenched in your juices, white and slick all over. she brings then to your lips.

"such a mess you made... as always. i guess, it's just the way you are, right? just a messy little girl who don't know better than upset her future wife. clean up, and maybe I'll think about letting you speak about what you have to say. after all, you're mine, who else will ever listen to you?"

#baek harin x reader #wlw #pyramid game x reader #pyramid game #character x reader #baek harin #smut #wlw smut

[sgtgarricks]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ i want your hands on me for all my life

simon riley x afab!reader cw: nsfw, angst, happy ending, mentions of simon's abusive past, talks about death, mentions of soap's death, fingering, oral sex (f!receiving), unprotected piv sex, creampie!!, simon lets himself be happy yay

reblogs are immensely appreciated! <3

PREVIOUS PART: your gentle hands are enough

notes: this is the 2nd part for the people that want a happy ending :) this turned out sooo long LMFAO if you want to be sad just pretend this doesn't exist and read the other one! your feedback & comments help <3

Simon had always excelled at compartmentalizing his emotions ever since he was a child.

Growing up with an abusive father and an older brother who has hell-bent on scaring him had forced him to develop self-preservation tactics in order to survive their torment. Dissociating was a daily occurrence in his childhood years — it helped Simon escape the pain and torment that was being inflicted on his body.

Being in the military has not been that different.

He was still dissociating, but he was no longer on the receiving end of thrown punches and insults. He was now the perpetrator inflicting agony on his enemies for the good of the world. To rid the world of filth.

Simon Riley had become the ultimate soldier — lethal, swift, quiet, and was immune to the horrors of war, which was no surprise considering he had spent most of his childhood learning to lock away all the negative emotions. The ability had become innate, bleeding into his daily life and in turn, his relationships.

When Simon walked out the door, he had left all the hurt and sadness in the apartment with you. He trusted you'd keep a part of him safe until he came back and even if he didn't.

Simon had whole-heartedly accepted the risk that comes with the job, fully prepared to lay his life down if it meant a better world than yesterday. In fact, Simon knew death more intimately more than anyone. He'd knocked on death's door multiple times but always seemed to come out alive.

It was easy for him to not think of you. The anxious voice inside his head becomes static as he engrossed himself in the mission. The hard part comes when the dust has settled — when all that remain are cold corpses and bullet casings.

Sitting in the helicopter all bloodied accompanied by the sound of whirring blades wasn't usually bad. It would give him time to sit down and process his emotions. It let him feel the slight guilt that never goes away when taking a life — no matter how rotten.

But with each mission he went on after his abrupt departure, he finds himself constantly ruminating his entire reason for not wanting to get into a relationship with you.

Simon had wanted you to move on from him when he died, eventually. Forget the bruised and battered soldier and find someone whole, someone who could be there for you and love you without causing you anxiety every time their phone rang.

He thought himself selfless for trying to spare you, but his entire reason collapses with every mission he comes back alive.

What was his excuse now? What was he protecting you from?

The voices slink back into his mind the moment he gains a moment of peace. Whispers planting seeds of doubt in his mind, feeding on his insecurity and his fears. They're ruthless and persistent.

You don't deserve them. They're too good for you. You're going to leave them one day anyway, why bother?

He feels a tightness in his chest, as if a phantom hand was squeezing his heart that sends pulses of pain through him. His hand shakes slightly, fingers moving absent-mindedly trying to remember the feel of your skin.

"You alright, Lieutenant?" His captain's voice breaks him out of his trance. Simon is slightly startled but doesn't let it show. He merely grunts.

"'M alright."

Silence engulfs them once more. It goes one for one, two, maybe three minutes. It's suffocating. Simon can read people well enough by now that he knows there are questions lingering in the back of John Price's mind.

A part of Simon wishes he'd just spit it out, but the thought of having to explain seemed worse. Instead, Simon settles with a silent huff as the helicopter continues on its designated course.

The second the helicopter landed, Price simply nods at him, trusting him to get his shit together and walks off to his office. Simon does his usual routine, though instead of rushing through the motions, he's intentionally prolonging each action.

Whereas normally he couldn't get out of this place faster, now he almost dreaded the moment he would have to leave. Staying at the base meant monotonous, dull, predictable tasks. Leaving means he has to choose where to go — he has to actively force himself to not drive straight to your apartment despite the fact that every fiber in his being longs to be close to you.

He feels sick, a kind of illness spreading inside of him that only ever felt better when you were around him. A dull ache inside his body that only lights up when you touch him.

He runs a hand to his now damp hair, content with sitting on a sofa in the rec room. Normally, the place would be bustling with recruits goofing around with each other. But one glance at the broodier-than-normal look on the lieutenant's face had created a force field that pushed away everyone as to not get caught in its storm.

Simon doesn't know how long he sits there, half of him trying to convince himself to not come to you. That you don't deserve the broken man with a penchant for violence.

Chuckling lowly to himself, he shakes his head. What kind of demented higher power decided someone as kind as you be plucked and dropped into his sights?

Fifteen minutes went by as he pities himself in the rec room before a shadow in his peripheral vision causes him to look up.

"L.T.," Kyle nods towards him, leaning on the doorframe.

"Garrick." Simon grunts dismissively, not saying anything more. He hops the sergeant will take the hint on his own and leave the miserable bastard to his own devices.

Kyle worries for Simon. The brooding giant seems more miserable than usual — not more than after the incident, but still. Typically, he wouldn't even be able to catch a glimpse of his lieutenant after coming back from deployment. He'd usually opt to disappear from the base in record time.

The fact that he's here now, instead of wherever he usually hangs around, is slightly concerning.

"You alright, L.T.?"

Simon turns to him, slightly annoyed. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yes, I'm alright." He huffs. Kyle merely shrugs, unbothered by the icy gaze directed at him.

"Well, seeing as you haven't fucked off from the base yet and it's been," Kyle checks his phone for the time, "Around an hour? I'd wager something is wrong."

Sometimes Simon hated how observant Gaz was. Kyle's always been attentive, even more so now without Johnny's presence. It wasn't a secret that Johnny had been the lieutenant's shadow — always lingering near him, cracking jokes and pulling his leg.

His absence had naturally left a gaping void in Simon, oozing all the pain and hurt that comes with losing a comrade. Simon isn't naive, he knows death comes as a package with being in the battlefield. He's seen his fellow soldiers die, held them as they bled out. It was why he tended to keep to himself. After all, the less people you know, the less funerals you have to go to.

This worked most of the time, anyone who got close to Simon would get his arctic stare and cower off — most of the time anyway. Johnny was a different case. Johnny was a little bit of a nutcase to be honest. A talented, bright, pyromaniac, the youngest ever to pass SAS selection, with an arsenal of jokes in his pockets. The blue-eyed Scotsman got along quickly with Kyle, bantering with each other easily as if they had been long-lost friends.

While Johnny still had reservations about dicking around with the captain, he didn't seem to have the same problem with Simon. Seemingly happy to chatter off in his ear about anything, whether it was about shitty food, a lady he picked up from a bar, or jabs directed at Simon.

Johnny's bright disposition put Simon on edge. He wasn't used to seeing someone not be terrified of him. No matter how many glares he sent him, the bugger wouldn't leave him alone. Johnny would continue to go out of his way to talk to Simon, to sit next to him during lunch, and sometimes, Johnny would even manage to get Simon to open up just a little.

"What's on yer mind, L.T.?" Johnny nudged Simon with his elbow. The two men were both sat at the bar, the TV playing an old recording of a football match. It had taken Johnny ten minutes to convince Simon to go out for drinks and he planned on taking full advantage of it.

Johnny had been talking non-stop for around five minutes about his sister who had just gotten married, waiting for a reaction from Simon who seemed distracted. His eyes had strayed to the other side of the bar a few times, barely noticeable to the untrained eye, but Johnny was anything but.

"Nothin'." Simon had grunted, tearing his gaze away. A giant smirk plastered itself onto Johnny's face.

"Ah, been starin' at the sad one across the bar, aye?" Seeing Simon's eye widen a little had made Johnny even more gleeful. "Go on then. Ye have my full permission to ditch me tonight." He teased, winking at his lieutenant.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Johnny." Simon had denied instantly, taking a sip of his drink. A normal person would have left it at that, but Johnny wasn't your average person. He loved starting fires and Simon was a flame he wanted to see lit.

"Ach, come on L.T. what's the harm, eh? A little bit of flirting never hurt anyone." Simon didn't know this but Johnny wasn't going to let this go. It was the first time Johnny had ever seen Simon show interest in someone and he'd do anything to get Simon to at the very least, talk to them.

"They're a civvy, Johnny. Not gonna take any chances." Simon shook his head adamantly.

"That's bollocks! All we do is take risks anyway, at least on this one the worst that could happen is getting a drink thrown in yer face." Johnny chuckles, peering at the person across the bar who was clearly nursing a broken heart. Simon still made no move to get up from his chair.

Praying to whatever God was listening, Johnny hoped Simon wouldn't kill him after what he was going to do. Calling over the bartender, Johnny slid the man a fifty.

"Mate, give 'em a refill yeah? Tell 'em it's from the big bloke over here." Johnny signaled the bartender. Simon, who had finally processed what Johnny was doing, couldn't even get a word in. The bartender hastily took the money and went back to his station, ignoring Simon's call.

Simon could only watch in despair as the bartender presented the drink and pointed towards Simon. He received a shy smile, a mouthed 'thank you', and an expectant look.

"Now you've got to go there, mate. Otherwise you'll look like an arsehole!" Johnny threw his arms up, grinning triumphantly. The sergeant crossed his arms and wiggled his eyebrows.

Simon could've easily ignored Johnny and went back to his drink. But a part of him couldn't deny that he wanted to go over there and maybe talk to someone else that wasn't Scottish for a change. Against his usual logic, Simon decided to stand up from his chair.

"You're an arsehole." A glare was sent Johnny's way, although it had no weight behind them. As Simon began to walk away, he could hear Johnny laughing loudly.

"Yer welcome!"

Simon had never told Johnny you were the person who had been texting him during deployment, but he knew deep down that Johnny already knew. He'd asked multiple times, even tried sneaking a look.

He simply didn't want to admit that Johnny forcing him to talk to you that day had shifted Simon's world. He wished he told Johnny.

"We all miss him, L.T." Kyle's soft voice spoke again. He's closer now, dragging a chair from a table and sitting in front of Simon. Kyle knew he could never fill the giant void that Johnny left, but he felt a sense of responsibility to at least try. Price had become more closed off after his death whereas Simon had slowly been unraveling, little stitches coming loose a day at a time.

"All we can do is make sure it's not in vain." Simon sighs, hearing Kyle's words, knows he's right. That he can't go back to expecting the worst all the time, constantly on edge.

Johnny had breathed life into his ghostly presence, bringing Simon back into the realm of the living. The more Johnny got out of the lieutenant, the more people were able to see that Simon wasn't merely a visage, a ghost roaming the hallway. That he was a real person.

He was throwing away his chance at a second life. Perhaps it was also a twisted way of Simon punishing himself. If he couldn't save Johnny, couldn't save the man who managed to get him to talk to you, then he didn't deserve you. It was a round-about way of him trying to mend off the guilt eating away at him that had inadvertently claimed another victim.

"Thank you, sergeant." Simon stood up. Clapping his hand on Kyle's shoulder.

I see you.

"Don't mention it, sir."

The drive to your house takes around twenty minutes, which means that's all the time Simon has to try and figure out a way to atone for his sins.

They're too gracious to even hold a grudge against you. A small part of Simon tells him. While he hopes that's true, he still wants to apologize and acknowledge how unfair he's been to you. If not to make you feel better, at the very least it will ease his conscience.

He drums his finger on the steering wheel, the radio turned on but on low volume. For once, Simon wishes he had Johnny's ability to get out of problems with his alluring words and his kicked-puppy look.

Lost in his own thoughts, he hadn't even realized he's been sitting in his parked car for a few minutes. He clasps his hands when he realizes they're shaking. God, he was so terrified. Not of you, no. He was scared of having to see what he's done to you. Is terrified of really seeing the carnage Simon Riley had tore in you.

He lets out a bated breath and opens the car door. He knows you're home by now, probably cooking away while listening to some indie band. Resting his head on your door, he braces himself once more, and knocks.

He waits, the seconds feeling like hours. The door swings open and he sees your surprised face.

"Simon." You compose yourself immediately, not wanting to show any sort of weakness in front of him. Something twitches on the corners of his mouth hidden by the balaclava. As if realizing he's still wearing it, he takes it off.

"Can I come in?" He asks timidly, as if approaching a wounded animal. He had no idea how you'd react after him being gone for so long. Even during his three month deployments, he'd sometimes text you once every fortnight. But after the way he left things, he couldn't bring himself to message you at all. Couldn't even stomach the thought of you still pining over him after what he had done. It was easier for him to simply block your number. Photos of sunsets and coffee cups gathering dust in his photo album, unsent.

You didn't even think about it, your body unconsciously moving sideways to let him in. A part of you screams at yourself.

Idiot, show some dignity.

It had been so easy for you to let the man who had left you for six months without a word back into your apartment, into your life.

You felt like an addict. Constantly begging for your next fix and taking whatever scraps are thrown your way. It's pitiful, but you're too far gone, anyway. His dirty boots make contact with your hardwood floor, leaving small specks of mud on them. Simon notices the frown marring your face and begins to unlace his boots.

"Sorry." He apologizes, neatly tucking away his muddy boots at the side of your door. You close the door behind him, making your way towards your kitchen. The plate clatters loudly in the sink as you haphazardly put them away, clearly rattled.

Simon coughs slightly, words stuck in his throat. He'd prepared a small speech earlier yet all the words seem to escape him. All the courage he had mustered for his little speech all had but disappeared into thin air. He feels out of his depths, not used to being vulnerable.

"What are you doing here, Simon?" Your voice sounds so tired. He supposes he was to blame for that.

"Can we talk?" He sends you a pleading look, hoping you still felt a sliver of the love you used to harbor for him — the only thing stopping you from kicking him out.

"Oh, so after blocking me and radio silence for six months you've decided you want to talk?" The bitterness seeps into your words like venom. He can't even make himself physically recoil from the sharp edge of your tone. Simon can feel the thin rope right beneath his feet, one wrong step and he'd be falling off the edge.

He takes a deep breath. "I deserve that."

"Oh, you deserve more than that Simon Riley. I should kick you out right now." You were huffing now, going slightly red in the face. Had he not been so anxious he might've thought you look cute. But right now? He was downright terrified.

"Just-" Simon pinches his nose bridge, calming himself down. "Let me speak for a moment, yeah? After that if you want me to leave, I'll leave." He holds both his hands up.

You were livid, rightfully so. The man you love had essentially decided he didn't want to communicate with you anymore, breaking your heart. The first week you thought maybe something had happened to his phone, broken it maybe?

As the weeks turned into months, the realization dawned on you that he had purposefully blocked you, cut off all contact. At first there was only sadness. You spent your days crying into your blanket, some days barely functioning. The hurt and betrayal had emotionally drained you. Did all those years mean nothing to him?

You knew he had a hard time expressing his emotions, but never in your wildest dreams did you think he would throw you away just like that. Like you were nothing more to him than a good fuck. Despite your head telling you otherwise, the emotional baggage he had left you with didn't leave much option.

It was easier to hate him than to accept maybe he didn't love you at all.

You spent the first few months cursing into the wind hoping it'd somehow hurt him a fraction of how much he hurt you. Afterwards, the pain became a lingering , dull ache, but not debilitating anymore. It became a constant that you carry everyday.

Kicking him out the door was tempting, but you knew it wouldn't do you any good. If anything, the words left unsaid would become a leech — slowly draining away your curiosity until you eventually leave another voicemail.

You give him a pointed stare before sitting down on the couch. Simon slowly approached you, wanting nothing more than to sit next to you but choosing to sink into the other side of the couch. He sees you cross your arms, feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

"I jus' wanna say that I'm sorry." He stares into your eyes, slouched with elbows on his thighs. Seeing your mouth thin into a line, Simon knows he's going to have to do a lot better.

"When Johnny died..." Your eyes widen, arms slacking slightly. He'd talk about Johnny sometimes but sometime ago had entirely stopped mentioning his name altogether. You had suspected something terrible had happened but you didn't want to believe it.

"I was so angry. It's not fair. He was so young, had his whole future ahead of him. Told me he was gonna see his sister's newborn on his next leave." He breathes out, clenching his fists.

"All of that, gone. We haven't even caught the bastard yet." Simon runs an exasperated hand through his face. Your arms were no longer crossed, choosing to fiddle with the edge of your shirt. You wanted to comfort him so badly, wanted to take him into your arms and tell him everything's going to be okay. But he was still pouring his heart out and you wanted to greedily snatch every piece he was willing to give.

"I had constant nightmares for months. Sometimes, I still do. You're just a heavy sleeper, I suppose." He chuckles and catches the way the edge of your mouth turn up.

"It's never easy, losing someone. It changes you. I used to hear his nonsense almost everyday and now it's just not there. I'm terrified one day it'll be like he was never there at all." Simon looks away, blinking tears away.

"But he was there. I know that. I felt him. He was like the fucking sun, but instead of being 150 million kilometers away, he's next to my ear with his Scottish nonsense." Simon chuckles bitterly, reminiscing the times when Johnny had to translate his gibberish.

You stay quiet, letting him speak freely. You had a feeling where this was going and how Johnny's death had indirectly impacted your relationship.

"If I died tomorrow, would you be okay?" His question catches you off guard. It was a question you've pondered a thousand times before, and every time you only ever came up with one answer.

"No." You answer honestly, because you'd break either way. Whether it was tomorrow or a year from now. You can feel a part of Simon in your bloodstream that if he died, some part of you would die with him.

"I only ever wanted you to be okay." He straightens, testing the waters by moving closer to you. You let him.

"Would you prefer if I never loved you at all?" Your heart was thumping loudly in your chest you worried he could hear it.

"No." His answer was immediate, as if he'd never been as sure before. "Not selfless enough for that."

"Then are you selfless enough to accept that I would want it to hurt?" You put your hand on top of his, gently grasping them within yours. Simon feels the broken pieces of him mending together.

He's quiet, not sure how to respond. He didn't use to understand why people would put themselves on the line, but he's starting to.

"If you died, I'd want it to hurt. I'd want it to take my breath away. I'd want it to keep me awake at night. I'd want every single bone in my body to ache when you're gone, because that would mean I have loved you with all of me."

You don't realize you'd started crying. There was no distance anymore between you and Simon. His thigh pressed against yours as you clutch his hand to your chest.

"I want it to hurt so badly, because I want to love you deeply." Tears were streaming freely down your face you couldn't even stop them even if you wanted to.

"Simon, will you let me hurt for you?"

And he lets you.

"Okay." His hand go to engulf your frame, but you had thrown yourself at him before he managed to. Simon can feel his shirt getting wet, he'd never thought he'd be slightly happy over the fact that you were crying.

Everything's going to be okay.

Your head was now on his collarbone, his palm gently holding you there. You feel a kiss on the top of your head as he strokes it.

Neither of you know how long you simply cried on him, much less when you ended up on his lap. When he heard you stop — tired from the energy you exerted, he slowly rearranges his body so that you are able to lie fully on top of him. His sore back is the last thing on his mind as he sees your peacefully sleeping away.

A pounding headache eventually woke you. You weren't sure if last night really happened or if your mind had conjured a scenario where Simon came back for you. However, the sweltering heat you feel on your midsection proves otherwise.

He really was here.

His eyes were closed, seeming to be asleep. You test the waters, placing your palm on the left side of his face. A hand immediately darts towards your hand and keeps it there.

"Put some pills on your nightstand for the headache." He murmurs, eyes still closed. His face turns slightly, placing a kiss on your palm. Even after half a year away, he still knows you like the back of his hand.

Leaning in, you give him a peck on the cheek. As much as you want to drink in the sight of him, there were more pressing matters at hand. You need the reassurance. You need him to tell you he wasn't going to abandon you again.

"Simon, did you mean it?" You can't get the entire words out, can only hope it was enough to convey your tumultuous emotions. His heart aches that you don't believe him, but he understands.

"I love you, sweetheart." Soft lips descend upon your own, barely brushing.

"'M here to stay as long as you want me here." He sneaks a hand under you, pulling you closer to him. There isn't any part of you that's not connected to him in some way.

He was so warm, scorching you inside out. You wanted his flame to burn every inch of your skin. When he left, everything felt cold to the bone, your life turning into muted blues and grays.

Simon brought warmth into your life, with his little acts of service. With the little trinkets he brings back after deployment because it reminded him of you. With his gentle hands, gentle kisses — his gentle self.

"I love you, Si." You whisper, grabbing him by the neck and lowering your lips onto his. Brushing softly, you were going to pull away when Simon lets out a moan. Heat builds inside of you as you slip your tongue inside his open mouth. He grunts in surprise, holding you still for a second. But you're impatient.

"Need you." You whine, "Want you so much, Si."

"Yeah?" He mumbles against your lips, running his hands through your hair gently.

"Thought I'd be in the dog house much longer than that, love." He teases you. Simon yelps slightly when you retaliate by biting on his lower lip. He grips both your cheeks with his fingers, pushing you away from him.

"That wasn't very nice of you, hmm?" He gently shakes your head, grinning handsomely. "Think you need a little lesson in being nice, sweetheart. Lucky for you, I'm an excellent teacher." He leans in and kisses your puckered lips, working his way downwards.

His hands wander everywhere, working themselves underneath your shirt. You feel goosebumps rise where his fingertips lay, shivering under his hold.

"Missed you so much, Si. Please." Your moans echo throughout the room. He's holding your thighs together as he trails down your body as you writhe.

"Missed you too, love. Fuck, missed you so fucking much." He manages to say. He cups your ass as he mouths at your panty-covered mound. Your juices seep through the fabric, making Simon groan.

"Mmm.. Someone missed me too." He runs his tongue up and down your slit as you cross both your legs behind his neck. He felt you clench your thighs and he feels blood rushing downwards. Turning his head slightly to the right, he nips lightly at your inner thigh.

He'd barely touched you but here you are already begging for it. Simon Riley has you wrapped around his finger and it scares you a little how much of a hold he has on you. You had bared your neck so openly for him and he had bit down the first chance he got.

"Will you let me take care of you, love? Make you feel good." He hums, fingers trailing along your inner thigh waiting for permission. You nod fervently before realizing he can't see you.

"Yes, yes, yes. Need you to take care of me, Si." Your heart was beating fast out of anticipation.

"Yeah? I'll make you feel good, baby." He coos at you as his fingers slowly pull down your panties. Strings of your juices were sticking to the insides. He threw them aimlessly, eyes zeroed in on your wet pussy.

His finger runs through your folds, making squelching noises. "All this for me, hmm?" He tilts his head up, pinching when you don't reply immediately. The sudden sensation makes you whimper.

"All for you, Si. Just for you." You were panting heavily as Simon sucks your clit into his mouth and licks in a circular motion. You thread your fingers in his hair, not tugging harshly.

Simon laps at your pussy like a starved man, burying his entire face in your warmth. He moans between every few licks, the taste of you dazing him. Your eyes glaze over as you see the man you love pleasuring you with earnest. He continues for a while, alternating his focus between your bud and your folds.

When you tug at his shirt impatiently, Simon grunts. He gets up and throws his shirt over his head. Not one second after it's off, you begin to paw at him, desperate to feel every inch of him.

Simon thinks he's never seen such a beautiful sight. Your hair was messy from your movements, eyes hazy as he can feel goosebumps on his body where you stare. He grabs your face and kisses you desperately, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth. His clothed bulge was grinding messily against your wet pussy as his boxers begin to darken from the wetness.

Simon's whimper fill the room when he feels you grinding upwards to rub yourself on his cock. He pulls from your lips with a string of saliva. Not waiting for him, you scramble to take off your shirt, baring your tits to him.

His eyes drink in the state of you greedily, one hand groping your tits as the other travels down to your pussy. You were beyond wet enough for his cock, but he's determined to make you cum on his fingers first.

Two fingers slip into you gently. The stretch catches you off guard, it's been a while since you've had his thick fingers probing inside you. His fingers were thrusting shallowly as you grind on his palm.

"Fuck, Simon. Feels so good." You babble, barely able to keep your eyes open, the pleasure overwhelming your senses.

"Yeah? Gonna make you feel even better." With that, his fingers thrust deeper into you, massaging your spot. Your back arches as Simon plants his face on your chest, sucking on your nipples.

He crooks his fingers slightly as he continues thrusting, his palm touching your clit with each time. You couldn't stay still anymore, moving your hips back to meet his thrusts.

The room was filled with wet, squelching noises and your combined moans. Your hands were gripping his bicep, feeling the large muscle flex under your fingertips.

His thick fingers continue his ministration as you begin to climb higher and higher. Your walls begin to pulse and constrict his fingers. Sweat drips down his forehead as he continues to drive into your pussy with his deft fingers.

"You gonna cum on my fingers, love?" He teases, placing kisses all over your damp face.

"Yes, oh fuck. Please, please let me cum."

Simon grins against your neck, placing sloppy kisses all over. His fingers begin to speed up even faster, hitting your sweet spot with every effort. You feel the familiar tingling sensation begin to build in your core.

Your legs begin to tremble as you struggle to get air inside of your lungs. Panting harshly, you close your eyes as your orgasm starts to reach its peak.

His hand leaves your tits as they begin to rub circles on your clit. The combined assault on your clit and your pussy brings you over the edge.

"Look at me when you cum." Your eyes open immediately as you find him staring directly into yours. Your legs tremble deliciously, hands gripping Simon even tighter as you feel your orgasm wash over you. Mouth agape, your back continues to arch as Simon doesn't stop, overstimulating you with a few shallow thrusts.

Simon's hand was covered in your juices as he slowly withdraws them. Your pussy clenches, feeling empty. He brings his fingers to your mouth and taps your lips. Obediently, you open your lips and let him slide his fingers inside your mouth.

Circling your tongue all finger, your eyes begin to close again. When you blink them open, you see Simon's bare body hovering above yours. His cock was standing proudly, shiny with precum. You feel the urge to take his cock into your mouth. When your hand tries to reach for him, it's stopped by his firm grip.

"Next time, yeah? Need to fuck your pretty pussy, baby." He slowly pulls his fingers out of your mouth, wiping them on his hip. He repositions his cock at your pussy, sliding the head up and down your folds.

Tilting your head down, you see Simon's hand grip his cock firmly as it slowly rubs his precum all over your pussy. He groans seeing your juices mix together. Moving your hips upwards, you try to push his head in and he hisses.

He grabs your hips and gently lowers them on the bed. "You just lay there and take it, yeah? Let me do all the work." You preen, more than happy to lay there and see him move above you.

"Put it in, Si. Missed your cock so much." You whimper, pressing delicate kisses on his neck. He nudges your nose with his, capturing your lips into a kiss. Your moan gets interrupted by your own grunt of surprise as the head of his cock slips in.

His cock was thicker than his two fingers, with veins running all over the shaft rubbing your walls deliciously. You link your legs behind his waist, helping him push deeper.

When he's inside you, it's like two pieces of puzzle fitting together. His cock fit so perfectly inside you, as if you were made for him and him for you. You knew Simon was it for you a long time ago, falling head over heels so easily for the grumpy soldier. You weren't happy at how long it took him to come to his senses, but you're glad either way.

He thrusts slowly, going deeper with each shift of his hips. His tongue tangles with yours as wet noises fill the room. You know when he's pushed in to the hilt when you feel him bump against your cervix slightly. Your pussy clenches at the tiny pain, causing Simon to moan out.

"Fuck, you're squeezing me so well, sweetheart." He stays there for a moment, grinding his cock inside. You only stop kissing when you pull away to beg him to start moving. Both his hands are placed firmly on your hips when he begins thrusting.

He moves back and forth slowly, the walls of your pussy feeling every drag of his big cock. You hiss against his mouth, the sensation lights up every nerve in your body. You beg him to go faster but he ignores you, continuing to sink slowly.

When you're about to wail at the pace again, he thrusts sharply — his cock sinking deep into your pussy. You gasp, clawing his back when he continues to move slowly but going deep with each thrust. You can hear the sound of his balls smacking against your ass.

Your combined juices were dripping out of your pussy, causing wet noises whenever he moves inside you. You don't know how long he continues his brutal motion, your eyes dazed and breath unsteady.

You've never felt this way before. It feels as if he's everywhere inside you, there isn't a part of you that doesn't feel touched by him. He thrusts as if he's trying to imprint himself in you, trying to permanently leave a mark.

"Such a pretty pussy. Doing so well f' me, sweetheart. You gonna let me cum in you? Gonna let me fill you up nicely?" He grunts, his composure starting to unravel. His cock begins to piston in you messily as he loses himself in your pussy.

"Yes, yes, yes. Fuck, love you so much, Si. Need your cum in me." You cry out desperately, tightening your legs and pulling him deeper inside you.

"So good to me, love. Letting me cum in your pretty pussy." His form begins to shake slightly from exertion. You know his hands were going to bruise your hips from how hard he was gripping them but you couldn't care less.

Your body moves up and down from the force of his thrust. His cock touching your cervix with each delicious thrust. Your pussy begins to pulse wildly on his cock as you feel another orgasm build inside you. When his cock begins to pulse, your eyes roll to the back of your head as it sends you over the edge. You moan out his name loudly, pulling him by the neck to your chest as his arms hug you to him.

You feel his desperation and love when he holds you. He hugs you so tight to him your ribs ache. You never want this feeling to go away.

"I love you so much, fuck." Your orgasm triggers his own, his cock pulsing as his creamy load fills up your pussy. He's so snug inside your pussy the excess cum begins to drip out. When he stops unloading inside you, he moves slowly, thrusting a few times shallowly. A part of him wants to look at the way his seed drips from your pussy but he didn't want to move away from you.

You both pant with eyes closed as your breathing begins to even out. Simon slowly pulls out and you hiss at the feel of his cock leaving you empty. You look down and see his cock covered in his cum and yours.

Your head falls back down to the pillow, eyes closing shut. Simon stares at the ceiling and huff, righting himself. You feel him plant a kiss to your forehead as the bed dips.

"'M gonna go clean us up, yeah? You stay there." You hear him step into the bathroom, going to wash himself and grab a clean towel to clean up your mess. By the time he came back, you had already passed out, judging by the sound of your low snores.

He begins to wipe your thighs and try to dry the surrounding areas as best he can. He'll change the sheets later when you're well-rested. Simon climbs into bed, hugging you to him. He runs his fingers through your hair, slowly unknotting them one by one.

He stares at your sleeping from and grins. Lowering his lips to yours, he keeps them there for a few seconds.

"I love you."

You can only mumble in response, too tired to properly articulate the words.

"I love you too, Simon."

#simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost smut #ghost x reader #cod smut #cod x reader #cod ghost x reader #sgtales

[toournextadventure]

movie night viii

Summary: Tara finally starts to believe that it's possible to heal and move on.

Word Count: 6k Warnings: swearing, injury mention, Scream typical violence, scars, trauma Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader (pt.i) (pt.ii) (pt.iii) (pt.iv) (pt.v) (pt.vi) (pt.vii) (pt.viii)

It had become apparent to Tara over the past two months that you were impossible to deal with.

She knew she couldn’t be too frustrated with you. After all, your nonstop talking had been put to a halt by whatever injuries had been inflicted upon you. The frustration was evident in your eyes when you would try to write down a response to something before the topic changed. More often than not, you never got a word in.

And, Tara would admit, she felt for you. Not only had your regular life been turned upside down because you couldn’t bicker back and forth with your family, but now? Now you had to deal with the fallout of Ghostface. A fallout that not even she and Sam had gotten over, and their initial attack was over a year ago. She distinctly remembered her own feelings immediately after, and now you had to deal with those feelings without even being able to tell anyone about it.

You tried. God, Tara knew you tried. You would do your best to write how you felt, or even draw a picture, little kid style. But it never worked, and you got more frustrated than she did about the whole thing. You would get irritated and storm off, locking yourself in the bathroom for hours at a time on bad days.

There were days Tara tried to help you act like everything was normal. Yes, you still had wounds you were recovering from, but she tried to act like nothing had happened. Putting on your favourite movies, playing your favourite scores when cooking, whatever she could think of. During late nights of studying or working, she would make sure to leave plenty of kisses on your cheek, the top of your head, your hands, everywhere she could reach.

She didn’t know what you two were exactly, but she tried.

It didn’t stop you from hiding away from her. Mercy had told her to help you change your bandages, especially before you had the stitches taken out. Yet every time she offered, you quickly shut yourself away and didn’t come back until everything had already been cleaned and changed. It made her feel like you didn’t want her around, like you didn’t want her help. Tara knew that wasn’t the case, but it very much felt like it.

The only thing you let her help with was cleaning all the damage from the gunshot. The gunshot that Gale still couldn’t talk about, and that you pretended didn’t exist. Hell, if Tara and Sam didn’t practically force you to let them take care of it, you would’ve let it fester. All in all, Tara felt utterly and completely useless.

“Give ‘em time,” Martha had said one night while you were all at your parents’ house for dinner. “They’re a bit too proud to accept help.”

And she was right. You didn’t ask for help. Not even when you started dragging Tara with you to your last appointment with Mercy. She knew it was about time for you to remove the bandages once and for all, but after how you had hidden from her? Well, even Sam agreed it was fair to assume you wouldn’t be bringing company. But then you had practically refused to let go of her hand the entire trip, and Tara was more than happy to stay.

“You sure you want Pipsqueak here?” Mercy asked. The wink eased the slight annoyance bubbling in Tara’s chest.

Your eyes darted to the side before you nodded slowly.

“Then here we go,” Mercy said.

Tara tried not to stare, she really did. After all this time, she knew it would be a sensitive topic for a while. But she hadn’t seen your smile in weeks. She hadn’t been able to see your crooked, toothy grin after a battle of wits with your family. There had been no closed-mouth smile when your favourite movie score surged through the speakers.

You hadn’t even been able to kiss her.

Okay, that last reason was a little selfish, but Tara didn’t really care. She had been through hell and back not once, but twice. Her first real girlfriend had tried to kill her before then attempting to kill her sister and Sidney fucking Prescott. If anyone deserved to be a little selfish, it was her.

At least that’s what she told herself as she tried to keep her eyes off of the slightest glimpse of scar tissue. Don’t humiliate them, she thought to herself as she waited patiently - or not so patiently - for you to turn around. The small smile on Mercy’s face when she tossed the bandages was comforting.

“See?” Mercy said. “Still as fetching as ever.”

Tara didn’t have to see your face to know the exact look you were giving Mercy. Judging by the set of your shoulders, you were giving her your best, most unimpressed look that you could muster. Complete with a downturn of your mouth and a single raised brow that was convincing enough to get even Sam to hush at least once.

“Don’t give me that look,” Mercy said, confirming what Tara already knew, “I’m sure your little girlfriend would agree too.”

Now that. That had your entire body stiffening almost painfully. There was an instant, immediate tension in your back. Tara knew if she simply walked forward and touched you, there would be nothing but the hard surface of muscles that wouldn’t, or couldn’t, react.

Would you ever be okay with her seeing you again? She hoped this was temporary but… what if it wasn’t? What if you realised all of this was too much and she wasn’t worth it? Tara had only truly had you for a short time, she couldn’t lose you to Ghostface. He had taken too much from her already.

“I’ll leave you two for a bit while I finish your paperwork,” Mercy said with a smile that was directed at Tara.

She left the room swiftly, leaving you and Tara alone. It wasn’t the first time she had been left alone with you since the incident. But it was the first time she had been left alone with you without the bandages as a barrier. She wanted to see you, to see what carnage you had endured for the simple sake of keeping people safe. Did you know that just the fact you had done all of this for everyone else made her feel so uncomfortably warm that she wanted to scream just to feel something different?

“Do they hurt?” Tara asked after a little too much awkward silence. Her footsteps were the only thing echoing through the room as she stepped closer. Hopefully not too close to make you uncomfortable.

She heard your squeaky attempt at speaking. In any other situation, she would have laughed first. Teased you, “just now going through puberty?” Part of her wished she could tease you about it; at least that would mean you were okay and back to normal. You cleared your throat.

“Not much.” 

The first words Tara had heard you say since she had bid you goodbye outside the abandoned movie theatre. Your voice was weak, croaky, almost even painful sounding. But it was you, and the fluttering in Tara’s chest had her trying to catch her breath.

Just her luck, she had left her inhaler at your apartment.

“What are you thinking?” Tara asked when you stayed silent and still didn’t turn around.

“I think,” she heard you exhale. “I think I’m nervous.”

Nervous. A feeling Tara knew all too well even if she managed to hide it. It wasn’t something one could just look past, not when the underlying cause was Ghostface. What would other people think? Would they look at you and see nothing more than scars and trauma? It sat in the pit of your stomach, festering until you wanted nothing more than to crawl into a ball as the world passed you by.

But it was also a feeling that she had managed to keep under control when you were around. Even before Ghostface. She would never have admitted it, of course, but you always made her forget, even momentarily, about all the scars, and trauma, and insecurities left behind. You had made her feel like just a normal kid again.

Wait. That gave her an idea.

“Remember that first date in my apartment?” She asked, stepping a little closer. Not in front of you, not yet, but behind you so she could brush her fingers against the back of your arm.

You shivered.

“When Sam walked in on us?” You asked. It almost sounded like you were smiling.

“No,” Tara said with a huff, “when you cooked and pretended to watch Pearl with me.”

“Oh.” You nodded your head slowly. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Remember what you said to me?” She asked. She inched closer and slid her hand up, resting both on your neck as gently as she could. “On the couch?”

You sighed heavily. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“Do you trust me?” 

There was a moment of hesitation, and Tara’s mind started running through every possible way to backtrack and act like this hadn’t even happened. But then you nodded slowly, once. It was like all the pressure around her heart lessened and she could breathe, at least for the moment.

“Then close your eyes.”

Tara couldn’t see your face from her current position, but she gave you more than enough time to close your eyes. Only when your shoulders relaxed under her hands did she try to shake the thoughts out of her head and maneuver herself until she was standing in front of you.

She didn’t know what she had been expecting. Maybe some deep, horrific, dark scarring that covered your entire face. For all she knew, maybe you didn’t even have a bottom jaw anymore. Each thought that crossed her mind was worse than the last. What she saw, the fresh scars stretching from the corners of your mouth to the middle of your cheeks? It wasn’t as gruesome as she was expecting.

That didn’t mean her heart didn’t break inside her chest at the sight of the still-irritated skin. Underneath her fingers, your pulse raced; she understood that too. Slowly, gently, she let her hands move up your neck, feeling every inch of skin she could. If she really focused, she could almost feel your trembling. Her hands stopped their short journey when they cupped your jaws, holding you carefully even though she was still worried you would break.

How could she possibly convince you that the scars changed nothing about how she felt? You were still hers. Someone she would trust with her life. That she had trusted with her life. How she admired you for staying with her even through the literal threat of death? That she was in- that she admired you so?

There was only one thing that she could think of that would possibly convey everything she was feeling. Tara exhaled slowly before she leaned forward and ghosted her lips over yours. You stiffened under her hands, but she didn’t move. She wanted so desperately to kiss you until you couldn’t think, but you had to make the final move.

You exhaled sharply through your nose. It tickled her cheek. But then you relaxed, and your hands grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer until you could return the kiss. Genuine, almost hungry, like you were letting out all the pent up emotions from the past six weeks. Like you were trying to convey everything you hadn’t been able to say.

“Don’t fuck in my office,” Mercy said, appearing almost out of nowhere.

Tara jumped, but your grip on her waist stayed firm. She quickly hid her head in the crook of your neck when you turned to face Mercy to do… well, honestly, you probably flipped her off. If Tara knew anything about you, it was that you would jump at any opportunity to harass your siblings, and now? Oh, now you had free reign again.

“Told you she’d still like you,” she heard Mercy said.

You simply pulled Tara closer.

—---

“What happened to your back?” Tara asked.

You froze with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth. There was a single speck of toothpaste on the corner of your mouth, and she wanted to reach forward and brush it away, but she knew the scars were still sensitive. Thankfully, you did it yourself and licked it off. Which then left more toothpaste, but she wasn’t going to mention it.

“You said only girlfriends got to know that information,” she continued, “and I’m very much a girlfriend now.”

“Are you?” You asked. That stupid smile gave you away, but she made sure to elbow you in the side for extra measure.

“Your side bitches don’t count,” Tara said. “They’re not girlfriends.”

“I can barely keep up with you,” you chuckled, “how am I supposed to keep up with multiple?”

“We’re getting nowhere,” she mumbled before continuing to brush her teeth.

Your body shook with silent laughter, but you otherwise stayed silent. It was a peaceful evening routine that you both knew not to interrupt. Tara did everything she needed to, you almost did more than her, and it was nice. Comforting, even. You both moved around the small bathroom in sync, never getting in the other’s way. Something that, surprisingly, hadn’t taken long to achieve.

But the question kept nagging her.

“Tell me what happened to your back,” Tara demanded again even as she crawled into bed beside you.

You lifted your book just high enough for her to wrap an arm around your waist, being careful not to jostle you too much. As much as you claimed the mostly-healed injuries didn’t hurt, she knew better. Especially when you flinched when she got too close to the scars.

“You really wanna know?” You asked without taking your eyes off the page.

“No, I’m asking because it’s funny,” Tara said with a huff. “Yes I want to know.”

“You’re so aggressive,” you said. Tara wasn’t looking up at you either, but she heard you putting the book down. “It’s not even that exciting.”

“I don’t care,” she said, shaking her head. “I just want to know now.”

“It was just a meet-up gone bad,” you said. Your hand rested on top of hers; it was warm. “I followed Martha to meet a client who turned out to be a narc.”

“And you got shot,” Tara mumbled to herself.

“I’ll admit,” you continued, “I don’t think he meant to actually hit me.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’d be committing career suicide,” you chuckled. “No one survives shooting a 10 year old.”

Tara didn’t find it as funny. In fact, she didn’t find it funny at all. You were a child; hadn’t even hit puberty yet. And you had already been making runs with your family? She knew your family, there was no way in hell they had known you were following. They weren’t stupid, they took everyone’s safety seriously. If Martha had known you were following, she wouldn’t have continued.

You were young, you could have died. Did you ever stop to think about that on those nights when you were uncharacteristically quiet? Did it ever haunt you that just one wrong decision, one case of curiosity had nearly gotten you killed? Because it would haunt her. It would haunt her until the day she died that she could have missed out on having you around, simply because you had been curious.

“It doesn’t hurt,” you said as you pulled her closer into your side.

It didn’t matter. The scar hurting now didn’t matter because it had happened anyway. You had gotten hurt anyway. She could feel you moving with each breath, but you almost hadn’t had that. You were alive now but what if?

“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” you said softly. She felt you kiss her forehead and closed her eyes. “I promise.”

That was a rather bold promise to make. Especially because she wouldn’t let you go anywhere even if you wanted to. You were hers, and she was yours, and nothing was ever going to take that away from her. Not again.

—---

“They got blood on my new shirt,” you whined for what was probably the 10th time since you had started the walk from your apartment to Sam’s.

“I told you not to wear it to work,” Tara said even as she smiled at your ridiculousness.

She knew you had known better, because she had gotten you the shirt. A fresh, pastel pink button up that looked rather stunning on you. But you had decided to wear it to work because “I don’t want to come home and change,” and what happened? Dicky got you into a scrap and now you had blood on the cuffs.

“It was Dicky’s fault,” you mumbled. “I had it handled before he butted in.”

“I’m sure you did,” Tara said, reaching over to grab your hand in a half-hearted attempt to stop you from fidgeting with the cuff of your left sleeve.

The rest of the walk was spent in a comfortable silence. You kept squeezing her hand, pulling her this way and that to keep her out of the way of most pedestrians. Granted, it helped that everyone gave you both a wide berth; your scary dog privileges had increased tenfold thanks to the scars. At least it gave you a bit more confidence in them.

“So,” you said as you knocked on Sam’s door three times. Always three. “Who is this new boo?”

“Someone from back home,” Tara said with a shrug. “I think they went to school together?”

“Sounds suspicious,” you said with a frown and your arms crossed over your chest. “Sure they can be trusted?”

“Without a doubt,” Tara said.

You hummed in reply before the door opened. Sam gave you the most polite smile she could muster before pulling Tara into a hug. If she heard your grumbling complaint, she didn’t say anything. But that was okay, because Tara got a little tighter squeeze before she backed away.

“Give us one second,” Sam said.

“We’re gonna be late,” you called through the door that Sam had left open. “If Ma interrogates us, I’m throwing you under the-,” you froze when they both came back. “-hey!”

You pointed directly at Kirby, brows furrowed and your mouth practically hanging open. Tara couldn’t tell if you were surprised, angry, excited, anything. She just knew you were feeling something. At least until Kirby smirked at you as she pulled her jacket on, and your expression turned into a pure frown.

“The hell are you doin’ here?” You asked, your accent coming out in earnest. “You can’t come.”

“Yes she can,” Sam said as she ushered everyone out of the apartment and locked the door. “You already said we’re late.”

“How you doin’, Vitale?” Kirby asked.

“You better put that badge away, Reed,” you said. Tara felt your hand grab hers and give it three squeezes. “This is a family dinner.”

“This is pleasure, not business,” Kirby said as she similarly took hold of Sam’s hand. “If you ignore the badge, I’ll ignore the blood on your sleeve.”

“I really liked this shirt…”

Tara tried not to laugh as you looked down at your sleeve, that frustration instantly transforming into upset. You chewed on your bottom lip until you were all back on the street. But you regained your composure quickly and pulled Tara forward until you could lead the way.

Everyone was, quite frankly, glad that you were leading the way. Sure, Tara and Sam had been to your family’s house a few times, but that didn’t mean they could tell anyone how to get there. Which was probably due to the fact that you took them in a different direction every. Single. Time.

“You are a guest,” you said when you finally marched up the steps of an indiscriminate brownstone. “Everything said in this house is sacred.”

“I’m not here to learn your sketchy family secrets,” Kirby huffed. “It’s a safe zone.”

“Damn right it is,” you said definitively.

But you continued to stand there, scuffing your shoes against the ground. There was something else you wanted to say, Tara could feel it in the slight trembling of your hand in hers. You were turning clammy and your tongue impulsively licked out to the corners of your mouth. A habit you had picked up on once the bandages were off for good.

“Thank you,” you said softly, “for coming with Sam.”

Tara’s head tilted slightly. That was rather big of you. Not that you hated Sam, quite the opposite actually. But you both had this predestined sibling feud going on that neither one of you was willing to budge on. And now you were being nice? To Sam’s girlfriend, of all people?

“Thank you for having me,” Kirby said with a kind smile that you made a point to reciprocate.

“If any of you mention that again, I’m killing someone,” you said quickly before turning around to open the door.

That was much more like it.

The house was pandemonium, as it always was. Kirby seemed hesitant, but everyone else acted like they practically owned the place. Thankfully, Sam was wise enough to keep hold of Kirby’s hand and guide her around the house to find Ma and Pop. You, on the other hand, pulled Tara with you to the kitchen where Martha and Mercy were cooking.

“Thought you’d never get here,” Mercy called out. “Hey, T.” A smile in Tara’s direction.

“Did you know Sam’s dating a fed?” You asked immediately, letting go of Tara’s hand to start helping. “She could do so much better.”

“You know, Sam said the same thing when I brought you home,” Tara teased.

"Us too,” Martha said. She looked so much happier now that she was no longer pregnant. Tara couldn’t really blame her.

“You love me,” you said with a smile before planting a quick kiss on Martha’s cheek.

“More and more each day,” Mercy said.

Tara enjoyed spending time with your family. She loved the chaos that came with it, even as she listened to the children screaming and running around upstairs. You all gave each other hell for every little thing, digging into the little wounds that you all left open for the intent of digging. Your brothers were the worst offenders, and you gave it just as ruthlessly.

But she couldn’t deny, it was nice to hear them remind you that you were important. Their tones had changed quickly after the whole Ghostface incident last year. They had tried to tease, to keep up the image. All it took was one poorly timed joke for you to practically explode, practically devolving into tears.

Now, they made sure to remind you how much they cared for you. They would still tease, sure, and they still took it a bit too far at times. Tara couldn’t complain, you started it just as often as they did. But no one could deny that you just seemed all the happier when you were occasionally reminded of the fact that yes, they loved you. Yes, they had played it off well, but they had nearly lost their minds when you had been hospitalised.

“You two go set the table,” Martha said, pulling Tara out of her thoughts and back to the present.

"Come on," you said softly. You handed her half the plates before walking past her. And of course, as usual, you kissed the top of her head on the way.

Tara would be the first to admit she hadn't given you a proper chance in the beginning. Yes she had her reasons, and no she wouldn't go back on them. Even now, the aftermath of Amber would have her waking in a cold sweat, pushing you away in case it happened again. She couldn't be hurt like that if she kept you at arm's length. It was something she was working on with her therapist.

But now? Now that she had given you a proper chance to show her that you were both more than just each other's drunken hookup? You were extremely physical. Not inappropriately so, but always holding her hand, or touching her back, or sitting so close your thigh pressed against hers. You talked a lot of shit, but you showed your affection through touch.

And Tara? Oh, how she lo- adored you for it. Every time she was stuck in her darkest thoughts, with her biggest fears, all it took was your touch to bring her back to the surface. To know that she wasn't alone, and you weren't going to leave. All her fears and worries and insecurities were nothing you weren't willing to help with. You showed her what Amber never could.

You truly cared for her.

“Hey T, I think your chair’s over there,” Joel said with a pointed finger. Tara followed until she saw exactly where he was pointing.

“You’re a dick,” she said as she did her best to shove him aside.

“The kid’s table is perfect!” He called out. “It’s your size!”

“Yeah, come on, Auntie Tara!” More than one kid cheered. 

Tara would be honest, she didn’t even know which one it was, she was still learning everyone’s names. All she knew was that there were five kids, one of which was too young to talk. Three spouses that she was friendly with, but didn’t talk to. Except for Linda, who always kept her updated on if you had been into the police station again or not. You always let her know, of course, but it was nice to hear someone else say you were safe.

Slowly, and with no one stopping their conversations, everyone sat down at either of the two tables. She made sure to smile and wave at Chad, Anika, and Mindy, who were thankfully being watched after by Gale. You frowned when Gale sat as far away from you as possible. Gently, Tara placed her hand on your thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze.

She didn’t even try to keep track of all the conversations going on around her. The kids were, thankfully, too busy eating, but everyone else continued. You managed to hit up a conversation with everyone at the table, sometimes even yelling to the other table to include them too. Hell, at one point, you even struck up conversation with Kirby, who was sitting directly across from you.

Even though you had made it a point to harass Kirby, Tara could still see the slightest upward tilt of the corner of your mouth. Most had admitted - without you around, of course - that they couldn’t detect your teasing as accurately anymore thanks to the scars. They gave you a perpetual smirk or smile that was hard to look past. But she could tell.

And you were finding clear joy in teasing Kirby.

Tara had to look away to stop herself from laughing with you. She looked down at her plate and pushed a few things aside; as delicious as it was, she wasn’t exactly in the mood. Something warm brushed against her knee, but she settled quickly when she realised it was just your hand. Oh, the embarrassing comfort you could give her with a simple touch.

“Anyone ever call you Joker?” Kirby asked.

Oh no.

“Not twice,” you said with a raised brow as you took another bite of your dinner.

“Only to scare the kids,” Dicky chimed in with a full mouth.

“Or threats,” Alfie mumbled with a nod without looking up.

“How’d you get them?” Kirby continued. “Deal gone bad?”

The few of you at the table slowed down, heads turning slowly to look at Pop. He was sitting in his usual spot, with the usual cigar hanging from the corner of his mouth. The look he gave Kirby was scrutinising and, even though it wasn’t directed at her, even Tara felt herself shrink under his gaze. You squeezed her knee again, and she quickly reached down to grab your hand.

“Are you asking as a fed?” Pop asked slowly. “Or family?”

“You’re Sam’s family,” Kirby answered without hesitation. “Which makes you my family.”

“That’s so gay,” you mumbled. That stupid, endearing smile was back and you didn’t even try to hide it. Tara did her best to kick you under the table, but you just smiled even bigger.

Pop nodded slowly before raising his brows at you and gesturing toward Kirby with his head. You cleared your throat and sat a little straighter in your chair. With a roll of your shoulders, you looked back at Kirby.

“It was Ghostface,” you said with a shrug that tried a little too hard to be casual.

“What?” Kirby asked, her head quickly turning to look at Sam.

“Last year?” You continued. “Surely you knew.”

“You kept that from me?” Kirby asked.

“Oops,” Dicky said before trying to choke down his laughter. Which he failed miserably at.

“I wanted to leave it behind,” Sam tried to explain.

“You are in so much trouble,” you mumbled.

“I’m guessing you caught him?” Kirby asked, slowly turning to look back at you.

“Caught him?” You asked. Underneath her fingers, Tara felt your thigh tense up.

“We don’t catch criminals,” Alfie said.

“Plata o plomo,” Dicky said.

“Okay, Escobar, calm down.” If there was one thing Tara appreciated, it was your insistence on turning things into jokes even after the incident. “We killed the sons of bitches.”

“You shot them really quickly,” Sam said.

A question popped into Tara’s head as the entire scene replayed through her mind. She had done her best to act like it hadn’t happened - outside of therapy, at least - but Sam brought up a good point. You all had shot them almost immediately. That wasn’t how it usually went.

“Why did you shoot them so fast?” Tara asked.

You inhaled as if you were going to answer, but quickly shut your mouth and looked back down at your plate. She squeezed your knee lightly before your leg started to bounce. It was a nervous habit that you rarely displayed, at least out in public. Usually you kept it reserved for the apartment where no one could see the internal turmoil you so desperately wished to hide.

“Your little “movie algorithm” says to hear ‘em out, scuffle, and win, right?” Alfie asked.

Sam, Tara, and Kirby nodded slowly in response.

“This ain’t a movie,” Dicky said.

“Because the movies don’t matter,” you said.

Kirby pointed in your direction. “No they don’t.”

Your leg slowed its bouncing before coming to a restful stop as conversation turned back to normal. The frown that had attempted to make an appearance turned back into a hesitant smile as everyone started to laugh and talk and scream once again. And the entire time, Tara could do nothing but look at you with only a single thought in her mind.

—---

The sounds of your movie came through the shitty little speakers you had hooked up to your TV. Martha had brought the kids over so she could do some work, and you had agreed in an instant. Without consulting Tara, who had planned on having a wonderfully exciting evening in.

She shouldn’t have even been surprised, being interrupted was basically foreplay for you both at that point.

“Why is Auntie Tara so grumpy?” The oldest asked. Which in turn made Tara even more grumpy. She was starting to hate these kids.

“Because she didn’t get what she wanted,” you said with a poorly concealed smile. “So now she’s upset.”

“Do you need a hug?” The middle one asked.

She knew she had to be nice to the kids, she knew she did. But she very kindly wanted to tell those kids to fuck off. What she needed was to resume your previous activities and to have your hands on her skin. She needed a kiss and a genuine fuck.

But no, that wasn’t allowed, she had to babysit a bunch of kids that weren’t even hers. Meanwhile, Sam and Kirby had forever been excused from babysitting duty because they were… well, they were honestly shit at babysitting. Which was rather ironic considering Sam used to babysit as an actual job back in school.

Clearly she had played the system better than Tara had.

“I would love a hug,” is what she ended up saying.

She was glad she did, because that kid? Gave amazing hugs. Clearly he had learned from you, because he hugged the exact same way. Arms over the shoulders and chin resting on the top of her head. She couldn’t help but smile into the kid’s chest when he squeezed her a little tighter before letting go.

“Better?” He asked.

“Much,” she said.

The movie continued to play on, and the kids moved from the couch to the floor. You had both decided to play it smart and make a pallet in front of the TV. It wasn’t anything big or special, but some blankets and pillows? Oh man, the kids ate that shit up, they almost didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Which left plenty of space for you to lay down on the couch and pull Tara down with you. Your chest pressed against her back while your arm snaked around her waist. It left her with a comfort that she couldn’t quite place. She felt safe when you held her like that, like nothing could get to her because you were there with her.

The whole situation was entirely too domestic. You were holding her, the kids were nearly asleep on the floor, and she felt safe. It made her feel like she was home. A warmth spread through her chest and she could practically feel her heart beat in rhythm with yours. Was that what it felt like? Was that what it really was?

Should she say it?

“You’re thinking really loud,” you whispered into her ear. The kids were completely passed out. “What’s in that pretty head of yours?”

She shouldn’t say it.

Maybe she should.

It could backfire.

But what if it didn’t?

“I love you.”

She thought she would have to wait for a response. That you would stiffen, back off, try to play it off like you either hadn’t heard her or you wanted to change the topic. But you giggled - practically giggled - and shifted behind her. You pulled her just enough so she could look at you and that stunning smile of yours.

“Oh thank god,” you said. “I thought I was going to have to say it first.”

“What?” She asked.

“I was gonna tell you ages ago and got cold feet,” you continued.

“And you just didn’t tell me?” She asked. You both fell silent when the kids shifted, but they quickly settled once again. “What is wrong with you?”

“I can’t let you win,” you answered quickly. “I need you to chase me back.”

“I-” she closed her mouth quickly. She supposed you were right; she had let you make the first move time and time again. But no way in hell was she going to admit that to your face. “You’re a dick.”

“I love you too,” you said, your smile impossibly bigger.

Tara rolled her eyes. Of course you would turn this whole love thing into a competition. Maybe it was one of those things she loved about you. Instead of letting you know, she just grabbed you by the face and pulled you down into a kiss that tasted of the capri-sun you had stolen from the kids.

She was glad you were the one she loved.

#tara carpenter x reader #tara x reader #tara carpenter #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega

[lauryri]

Brother’s Best Friend

Sirius Black x reader

In which Sirius Black finds comfort in the person he least expects.

The same day that Sirius Black realized his parents were Slytherins was the same day that Sirius had sworn off all Slytherins forever. It started off as a childish thing, a one-sided, unspoken attempt to get back at his parents for all of their strict rules and exaggerated lectures about the importance of his pure-blood ancestry.

When he met James Potter on his first train ride to Hogwarts, the resentment towards Slytherins grew into a shared inside joke. Something that the two of them could continuously throw around. Never mind that James Potter was from a pure-blood family as well. The joke was just another feeble attempt to get back at his parents.

And then, he met Severus Snape. And then, he met the insults and snide remarks of his Slytherin classmates. And then, he had finally decided: there was no good that came out of Slytherin.

So it’s no surprise that when his little brother, Regulus, was sorted into Slytherin a year later, Sirius was devastated. Sirius was silent during the entirety of dinner and even remained silent as he arrived in his dorm. The other boys tried not to disturb him, but they had never seen him so quiet before, and it was starting to disturb them.

“Some evening,” Peter said awkwardly, a yawn emerging from him. Remus gave him a strict look before turning his attention back to Sirius, worry evident on his face.

The silence only seemed to grow thicker until finally Sirius sighed and his words rushed out, eager for release.

“I thought he was different. This whole time I thought he wasn’t like them,” Sirius began.

“I mean yeah, Slytherins can be awful, but he’s your brother,” James replied, attempting to soothe his best friend.

“Very insightful, James,” Remus said sarcastically from his side of the dorm. He leaned back against his bed frame. “But I agree. He’s your brother. You know him.”

“I don’t think I do anymore,” he replied solemnly, his eyes sullen yet harsh.

“Don’t be like that, Sirius,” said Remus, “just talk to him.”

Sirius doesn’t talk to him the next day. Or the rest of the year for that matter. He says what he has to during the summer but when school starts, he goes back to ignoring him.

It’s not easy to pretend that Regulus doesn’t exist. He started to play quidditch. He is one of the smartest in his year. And he’s always seen with a Slytherin girl that is in Sirius’ potions class. She’s reserved and intelligent. She seems polite enough. She talks with Lily Evans. She’s even pretty. But she’s also a Slytherin and Sirius believes that’s a good enough reason not to trust her.

She’s always with Regulus. They sit together in the Great Hall. They walk in the corridors together. Sirius spots her one day leaning against Regulus’ shoulder, laughing loudly at something he said. Sirius resents her for it. He hates her for knowing Regulus.

Later that day, Sirius is walking into Potions class when he spots her talking with Lily Evans. He tries to walk past unbothered, but then he hears her mention Regulus’ name.

“Regulus and I have a bet,” she says with a laugh. Sirius tries to ignore how sweet her laugh sounds.

“Is that right?” Lily chuckles and shakes her head.

“He’s the best seeker that’s ever been. Write it down. This Saturday. You’ll see.”

“He really doesn’t think he’ll catch the snitch?” Lily wonders curiously.

The girl responds back with a small pout. “He doubts himself a lot. I hate it. But I’ll win the bet, and he’ll see.”

Sirius rolls his eyes and continues walking. What does she know? Regulus is his brother after all.

Their conversation leaves him with an irritation that follows him the rest of the day and a worry that maybe he doesn’t know his brother anymore. James has tried cheering him up, but Sirius continues his sulking all day. He hardly eats anything when they sit down in the Great Hall. He goes to bed as soon as they make their way to the dorms. No one bothers him.

The next morning, the marauders don’t even have to ask Sirius what’s wrong. He wakes up determined and explains the whole situation to them.

“He doubts himself sometimes. I hate it,” Sirius says, mocking the girl as his story comes to an end. He shakes his head furiously.

“Are you talking about y/n?” asks Remus.

“Y/n? I don’t even know who that is. Did you hear anything that I even said?” Sirius looks as if Remus has just deeply betrayed him.

“The girl you keep complaining about. She’s Lily’s partner in potions,” says Remus as if this is common knowledge.

“A friend of Lily’s is a friend of mine,” says James, a teasing smile on his face.

Sirius thinks that maybe, given a different circumstance, he might have laughed. But James is supposed to always be on his side, so he makes a face of disgust instead. “You too? Peter?”

“She’s quite pretty,” He responds with a shrug of his shoulders.

“She’s a Slytherin,” Sirius mutters, but it’s loud enough for the rest of them to catch it.

“Really?” Remus rolls his eyes, “I thought we were past all of the house prejudice or whatever you’d like to call it.”

“That’s not why I don’t like her,” Sirius lies, quickly defending himself. He pauses as he struggles to come up with another valid reason. He continues on anyway, “she’s very… assuming. How can she possibly know how Regulus feels? I’m his brother. If anyone knows him it’s me.”

The three of the boys share a knowing look.

“Sirius,” Peter speaks up hesitantly “when’s the last time you even spoke to Regulus?”

Sirius isn’t sure why that question hits him as hard as it does, but it hurts. Surely it wasn’t that long ago. They spoke a little during last summer whenever he wasn’t at James’ house…

Sirius decides that he doesn’t owe any of them an explanation. He stands up quickly and mutters a faint, “excuse me.”

Sirius’ urge to run away leads him to the front of Hogwarts’ entrance. He finds it ironic that the first thing he notices as he exits Hogwarts’ front doors is the Slytherin girl, or Y/n as she sits alone near the Great Lake.

Sirius had no time to think about the reckless act he was about to make. He was fueled by the anger of Peter’s question and the fact that he really didn’t know when the last time he had spoken to his brother was. He figured the only obvious option was to blame her. The girl with soft eyes and a determined expression. The girl sitting with her back against the tree, seeming not to notice the ruckus of the other students around her, not even noticing Sirius’ haste steps towards her as she stares into her book.

“Y/n, is it?” he says finally as he comes to an abrupt stop in front of her. In a quick second, her eyebrows furrow and her gaze is on him. Her eyes even widen a little bit.

She takes a few seconds to respond, and in all of those few seconds, Sirius can feel himself growing impatient. Before she can even finish saying yes, Sirius cuts her off.

“It’s a bit cold out here to be reading don’t you think?” his tone is harsh.

“What?” she replies confused, and Sirius almost feels bad. Almost.

“It’s just that it’s cold, and you’re not even wearing a jacket and…” Sirius’ voice begins to falter. His pride doesn’t let him stop. “I’m Regulus’ brother.”

She nods. “I know that,” she says sharply.

Sirius is immediately taken aback.

“Fine. Who are you anyway, his girlfriend or something?” he replies back with the same sharpness in his tone.

She laughs loudly enough to surprise him. He looks at her in confusion, and she shakes her head. “Who are you to ask something like that? You won’t even look at him.”

Sirius tries not to let that hurt him, but it does. “I’m his brother.” He keeps saying this. He’s hoping that after saying it enough times this simple fact will make up for everything else.

“No. I’m not his girlfriend,” she replies.

“You just seem to always be with him,” Sirius presses on, and he knows he shouldn’t, but some pathetic part of him feels like by talking to her, he’s kind of talking to Regulus.

“He’s my best friend.” With those simple words, Sirius has the daunting feeling that he has completely lost his brother. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Y/n just stares up at him curiously.

“Why are you speaking to me, Sirius?” she asks after moments of silence.

“I don’t know,” he admits because isn’t it just the truth? He doesn’t know.

Y/n continues to stare at him, and it kind of annoys Sirius until she finally says, in a calm voice, “Talk to him before the match tomorrow.”

Sirius doesn’t really understand, but before he can ask, she’s adding on.

“ ‘Good luck’ or ‘you’re going down’ I don’t care what it is. Talk to him.” And with that, she goes back to her book.

Sirius is going to talk to him. The game is about to start, and Regulus is right there. He’s going to talk to him any minute now…

Regulus is already focused on the game. Most people have a hard time understanding Regulus, but to Sirius it comes naturally. He can see the way worry flickers across his face before immediately being pushed away. He feels the urge to reach out, to comfort him. And now he understands why Y/n had asked him to say something; he understands her conversation with Lily.

The whistle blows and Regulus is about to fly when Sirius blurts it out.

“Good luck,” he says to Regulus. Regulus is undoubtedly surprised. His eyebrows raise, and he’s quiet for a few seconds.

Then, he simply nods, “Sure, you too.”

Regulus doesn’t sound bitter. The interaction between them almost feels natural. Sirius smiles lightly. Although, it doesn’t take long for the brief happiness to subside into a feeling of guilt. He spent so much time resenting his brother for something outside of his control. He has a sinking feeling that he was wrong.

He tries to find Y/n in the stands, and when he does he breathes in sharply at the sight. She is smiling so brightly that he finds it difficult to look away. He hates to admit it, but he thinks he might have been wrong about her too.

#marauders #sirius black #sirius black x reader #james potter #james potter x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #slytherin #regulus black #enemies to lovers #brothers best friend #marauders era #lily evans #severus snape #reading #fanfic #fanfiction #first post #harry potter #gryfindor #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #magic #quidditch #draco malfoy #fred weasley #y/n #x reader

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles December challenge.

Dirty Thirty

Prompt Day 24: Birthday | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Childhood Trauma, Language | Tags: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Steve & Gareth, Eddie Turns 30, Birthday Blues, Hurt/Comfort, Steve POV

"It's his dirty thirty," Steve says, tucking the phone between his shoulder and his ear, "We have to do something."

Gareth laughs through the receiver.

"Well, you can dig your own grave if you want to, but I'm definitely not crawling in it with you," Gareth says, and Steve squeezes his eyes shut. 

Eddie usually loves his birthday, but several weeks ago the decree came down that he wanted nothing for his birthday. He wanted to pretend it didn't exist. But is Steve really supposed to do nothing to celebrate Eddie's thirtieth birthday? That's a milestone. 

Eddie almost didn't make it to twenty-one. But he did, and that birthday party was so fucking wild that Steve still doesn't remember everything that happened. All he knows is he woke up with a tattoo on his arm that looks suspiciously like Eddie's handiwork, though Eddie still denies it. 

So, Eddie turning thirty should be celebrated. Maybe not a kegger that ends in beloved, if unplanned, tattoos. But still. Something special. 

"What if-" 

"No," Gareth says, "whatever you're thinking. No." 

Steve sighs, in disappointment. 

Gareth's right, is the thing. Eddie isn't one to say he doesn't want something, but secretly does. He said he didn't want anything, so he really doesn't want anything this year.

Steve knows Eddie isn't the type to dwell on getting older. He usually loves that shit. Loves that he lived, and has kept on living. So, this is out of character, and hard for Steve to swallow.

"I know," Steve finally says, "you're right." 

"What was that? Say it again, a little louder. You know my hearing is shitty from years of drumming."

Steve laughs, "Gareth, you're right. Even if I loathe to admit it." 

Gareth cackles, but then turns serious.

"I know you mean well, Steve-o. But let's just do what he wants, okay? Not what we want. Of course, I'll want you to throw me a huge dirty thirty. Strippers coming out of the cake, the whole nine yards," Gareth says. 

"I think your wife might have something to say about that," Steve says, dryly. 

Gareth just laughs. 

Steve finally relents, "Okay, I won't plan anything." 

"Smart man," Gareth says, and hangs up the phone. 

Gareth is Eddie's best friend, but maybe Steve should float this situation past Jeff and Goodie, too. Just in case. Get a second and third opinion. Gareth isn't the be-all and end-all. 

So, Steve gives them each a call.

Jeff is kind, but firm, with his hard no vote. 

Goodie is a hard yes, but it's a trap, and Steve knows better than to fall for it. 

It doesn't take long for Gareth to call back. 

"Steven." 

Steve hangs his head, "I just had to ask them, okay?!" 

"No means no!" Gareth shouts.

"I won't do shit, I promise," Steve says. 

"You better not," Gareth says, and hangs up on him for the second time today.

And Steve doesn't plan anything. 

Eddie turns thirty, and nothing happens. Steve hates it. 

He takes Eddie out to eat, but Eddie wouldn't even pick somewhere nice. No, he just wanted to grab food from the taco truck that always sits in the parking lot of the hardware store.

So, they eat messy tacos, standing up, outdoors, in January, while people carry lumber to their waiting trucks. 

Eddie never mentions it's his birthday, and nobody else does either. 

It's weird. 

That night they lay in bed, and Steve feels like he's missed something big here. It's a gnawing sensation in his gut, and he hates it. Eddie doesn't even seem in the mood for birthday sex. Not that he needs a reason to get Steve into bed, but he usually likes to pretend it's a special gift, just for him, and Steve always goes along with it. 

Not tonight.

Tonight, they lay in the quiet, and Steve feels like this whole day, this whole week, has been off. He's running through every damn thing that could have led up to this, when Eddie finally speaks.

"I'm older than my mom ever was, now," Eddie says in the dark. 

And there it is. The piece Steve was missing. Of course. 

Steve rolls onto his side, wrapping his arm around Eddie. Hugging him tight. 

"I'm sorry, honey, that must be weird." 

Eddie nods, and then tucks his head into his own chest, and cries. Steve can feel his back shaking with the movement.

Steve presses his face into Eddie's back, holding him. There's no fixing this kind of hurt. Steve knows. Eddie has to feel it. But Steve holds him tight, and Eddie lets him, leaning back against Steve's chest, seeking comfort. They've been that comfort for each other for years, a decade now, even if Steve gets it wrong sometimes. Still can't read Eddie's mind, as much as he'd like to, especially in times like these.

"I'm sorry I've been so weird," Eddie says, his voice thick.

"I love you," Steve tells him.

Eddie suddenly rolls in his arms, pressing his face into Steve's neck. Steve just hugs him tighter, rubbing his back. 

"I feel like I'm a little kid again, crying like this," Eddie says, and Steve presses his face into Eddie's hair.

"It's okay to cry," Steve tells him, because it is. It took Steve a long time to realize that, because crying wasn't okay growing up in the Harrington household. 

But as an adult? If he wants to cry. He'll fucking cry. Steve finds he always feels better after he's let it all out. 

"I know," Eddie says, "but it hurts today like it's fresh, and not decades old. I hate it."

Steve rubs his back, then pulls back, "Put on your shoes."

"What? Why?" Eddie asks, and Steve touches his arm, urging him on.

Twenty minutes later, Wayne is holding Eddie as he cries, and this is definitely what Eddie needed. Steve's absolutely sure. 

Eddie can't have his mom, but he still has Wayne. His dad, in all the ways that matter.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see more of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my Steddie Holiday Drabbles tag, right here!

#steddieholidaydrabbles #birthday #hurt/comfort #steddie #steddie ficlet #birthday blues #steve harrington #gareth (stranger things) #eddie munson #wayne munson #gareth & steve harrington #stranger things #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: steddieholidaydrabbles

[gemini-stories]

remember me (2) | j.wy x reader

synopsis: the years may have passed but he always remembered you. even when you didn't. pairing: wooyoung x fem!reader genre: idol!AU, friends to strangers to partners to lovers (?), smut (minors do not interact!!) warnings: idol wooyoung, idol reader, smut, swearing, a tad bit of angst, mutual pining, oh.oh (I really wanted to use this trope in this story!), unprotected vaginal penetration (bad irl!!), mirrors (iykik), reader is bitchy, wooyoung finally stands up for himself (and the end makes him happy:D), miscommunication (I hate this but I swear there's a reason for it). nothing too dirty but if I miss anything pls let me know! word count: 5.1k ish a/n: when I first got the idea for this I thought I knew exactly where it was going. I was so wrong:)) the story kinda wrote itself in the end. I wanted to apologise for the miscommunication trope but it was so necessary for the development of both reader's and wy's development (don't hate me too much, it was all good in the end:D). as usual I’m open to any feedback and criticism so don’t be shy to let me know!! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ previous part ─────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

“You did what?” Hajun started laughing.

“You heard me the first time,” you rolled your eyes, reaching for the takeout Hajun brought to you half an hour ago, when you called him for an embarrassing emergency.

“Obviously I did. But I wanted you to say again how you sat on the pretty boy’s face.”

You couldn’t say the whole situation happened out of nowhere. You couldn’t deny the tension between you only got stronger since the stupid sexy dance.

You expected Wooyoung to mention your little very hot interaction. But he didn’t! He was acting as if nothing happened, back to being the sloppy, careless, unreliable, and spineless self.

And that pissed you off even more. Was he ever going to mention anything? How long were you going to wait? You gave him plenty of opportunities! Right? You were the one that went to him first. And what did he do? Pretend you never met, never existed. Unimpressed. Careless. 

Sloppy. Unreliable. 

And spineless. 

“All I’m saying is, you two seemed to enjoy each other. So I see nothing wrong about it,” Hajun continued slurping from his drink.

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Dude, what complications?” he asked skeptically.

“I can give you about a gazillion..dude.”

“If it’s about our eternal love, I can take my pity ass and my heartbroken heart and disappear in the sunset,” he wiped a fake tear from his right eye. To which you could only reply by laughing.

“No, but I’m serious, you know our arrangement was never something that should be complicated and could be ended whenever it wasn’t useful for any of us.”

“I know,” you sighed, “and trust me this has nothing to do with it. I swear.”

“Then? What’s the problem?”

Then? What’s the problem? You. You were the problem. And your lack of sincerity. 

And Wooyoung’s.

But, oh well, two could play this game. If he was not going to say anything, why would you. You continued your practice like before. Him messing up, as usual. And you bitching about it with snarky remarks, as usual. Him never replying back, as usual. And you getting more pissed because of it, as usual.

You tried to ignore the feeling of his touch, and the electricity it was sending to your body each time. Thinking about dead unicorns should help.

His hands glided over your thighs, ripping your skin with them, leaving you open and raw, falling into his arms. Finally, this dance move was a success, at the price of you being skinned alive. You looked into his eyes. Really looked. And could only silently beg him to look back into yours. Really look. 

“Are you ok?” Hongjoong asked. You were almost finalising your studio session of the day and to say that you were distracted was not enough. You were not your talkative opinionated self and that was making Hongoong slightly uncomfortable. He felt you staring at the screens over his shoulder the whole time, without you making any remarks to the changes he was making to the song segments. It was too weird for him. He had to ask. It was your decision if you were going to be honest or not.

“Why did you propose for Wooyoung to be my partner when I told you I was looking for one?” you asked absentmindedly. 

“Did he do something?” he turned to face you. “Did he say something? What did he do?”

You kinda mentally chuckled at the thought of Wooyoung misbehaving so much that this was Hongjoong’s first thought, that he did something. Not that he was wrong though. He did more than something. He said more than something too…focus. Dead unicorns.

“Nothing, nothing. I was just curious.” You nudged.

“Oh, okay. Well, he is the best dancer I know. So, I thought it would be a great solution for you and a great opportunity for him, for a great collaboration with the second best dancer I know,” he smiled.

“How dare you?” you gasped, pretending to be offended. “At least tell me I’m the best singer you produced a song for. So I can forgive this audacity!”

To which Hongjoong remained silent and continued to smile, returning to his work. 

“Rude,” you scoffed.

If only Wooyoung could live up to Hongjoong’s title. You knew he was great. Amazing even. You were an Ateez fan after all. You knew what he was capable of. You watched all his performances. So why was he not giving his best with you too. 

You two had another video call with the choreographer, after your latest dance video submission. He was disappointed and he was trying really hard to hide it. 

“Wooyoung, I watched some of your videos man, and what I see now doesn’t seem like you.”

Exactly what you were thinking!

“And you Y/N, we worked together for years. I know you. This doesn’t seem like you either,” he sighed. “The second choreography was meant to strengthen your chemistry, not make it worse. Please, try it again for a couple of days and then go back to your routine. Accept each other’s movements.”

How could you go back to the second, hot and dangerous choreography. You both silently agreed to not mention it again. Dead unicorns, right?

You were stiff.

He was flustered.

This was never going to work out.

“What is this?” you asked reaching for the small pink box from the bench where you’d usually leave your bag at the beginning of the practice.

“I, I wanted to apologise,” Wooyoung started with a shy smile, “for everything. Everything.”

You opened the box to find a dozen bunny shaped biscuits, topped with white icing. The asshole.

“No thanks, I don’t eat sugar.”

The room turned a couple degrees colder. You politely closed the box and put it back on the bench, starting your morning practice.

Nothing was working how you wanted. For the first time in weeks it was you making stupid mistakes. Wooyoung was doing god’s work trying not to start laughing at every mistake. The fact that he was aware of your mistakes was making you even more self-conscious and you hated feeling that. You knew exactly when was the last time you felt like that and you swore to yourself to never feel like that again. But here you were now. In this situation. And there was only one asshole to blame. 

“Did you really think that apology was going to work?” You couldn’t keep it in you anymore and asked staring into his eyes, when he was on top of you.

“What?” He stopped in the middle of his step.

“The stupid biscuits, what were you thinking?”

“I thought it would be a nice gesture. How should I know you don’t eat sugar?”

You groaned loudly, continuing your steps.

“It’s not even about the sugar.”

Wooyoung was so confused. You were always weirdly cryptic in a mad way, but this time it was…weird in a weird way. Most of the times you were annoyed by things he was not doing, and this was a first - being annoyed by something he did do?

He was surprised you never mentioned the incident. He didn’t want to be too greedy so he didn’t do it first.  He could swear something possessed him that day. He was so…cheeky that day. Was he cheeky with his partners before? Sure. Would he have done something like this with someone else? Of course! 

How did he do it with you? He couldn’t comprehend. He was never cheeky with you. For god’s sake he couldn’t even argue with you when you kept bitching during practice. 

So what on earth went through his mind? 

The same nasty thoughts he always had when he thinks of you. The same nasty thoughts he always had when you were in a five meter radius from him.

The same nasty thoughts he always had when he touched you.

He blushed the whole way home that day. He blushed while getting ready for bed. He blushed while taking a shower. He blushed while drawing stupid hearts on the shower glass. He blushed while taking a picture. He blushed while thinking of you when writing the caption. He blushed when he saw you liked the post. 

He was so far gone.

All the possible conversation scenarios went through his mind that night and he was ready to have any sort of uncomfortable talk with you. But you acted like nothing happened and didn’t say anything. So he didn’t either.

He thought about apologizing. For everything. And what better way than with something sweet. Two things that were always recurrent on your old instagram were bunnies and desserts. So he thought, what could go wrong with some bunny biscuits. Right? 

Apparently many things because you were mad about it. For some reason Wooyoung couldn’t understand. It was a different type of mad from the one you constantly showed in the past weeks. It was more of a sulky mad, which Wooyoung actually found adorable. 

But nevertheless you were mad. And that never helped your dance practices before, it wasn’t going to help now either.

It was most certainly not helping you while getting flustered during the dance.

You mentally refused to call for Hajun in the past days, especially for your quick breaks during the day. You really wanted to, but you couldn’t. A different person was flying through your thoughts when you were thinking about it. Your arrangement with Hajun was nice and convenient but you’d never fuck him while thinking of someone else. You were not like that. 

So you were left just with your thoughts.

And the memory of that day.

How hot and electrifying it was. How hot and electrifying he was. Nope. Dead unicorns!

“Is your dance practice going well?” Hongjoong questioned Wooyoung after just arriving at the studio with a bag of take out that Hongjoong asked for.

“Amazing.” Wooyoung breathed, paying attention to the food packages, looking for something he could nibble on. “Why?”

“Y/N cancelled our session today saying she wants to focus on the dance as there’s ‘some setbacks that she couldn’t foresee’”, he emphasized with air quotes and squinting his eyes. “What did you do?”

Wooyoung scoffed. “Why do you think I did something? We weren’t supposed to practice today and I have no clue what these ‘setbacks’ are about. Maybe she didn’t want to see you today and lied about it. Did you think about that?” he giggled while stealing some fries from Hongjoong’s plate.

“Y/N wouldn’t lie.” Hongjoong stated matter of factly, as if he stated the sky is blue.

He was honest about it as he was honest about the image he had of you - sincere, hardworking, professional and sweet and caring and, and definitely not a liar that avoids a day of work.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. Of course she wouldn’t. 

Okay, maybe indeed you wouldn’t lie. Break promises? Forget about them? Stamp on them? All plausible events.

“You know what I don’t get?” Hongjoong continued opening his sauce.

“I have a really long list. With what do you want me to start?” 

“You think you’re smart, dumbass?”

“I do, in fact.” Wooyoung smiled proudly.

“Nevermind then.” Hongjoong hated how Wooyoung wasn’t serious about this conversation. He wasn’t serious from the beginning and Hongjoong thought it was just a caprice. One that continued for longer than he expected. The reason why he really wanted to understand what this was all about.

“Come on, don’t start sulking like a bitch and tell me!”

“I know you are a stupid fanboy in, what you think is a secret, but when you talk about her you sound like you hate her. What’s up with it, it’s weird dude.”

From all the item’s on Wooyoung’s list, this was not one. Did he really make it sound like he hates you? Was he stupid? He didn’t want the others to know that he admires you so much so they wouldn’t tease him about it, but he didn’t want the opposite either…from the outside perspective it looks like he hates you?

“I don’t hate her. I could never hate her.'' He was looking anywhere but at Hongjoong, not being able to face him, now embarrassed by himself. 

“I know that. But if you act with her like how you talk to me about her, I have bad news for you.”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Complicated for who? You? Then uncomplicate it.” Hongjoong sighed. “We can’t afford not having great results out of this collaboration. It’s not only good for you or for me. It’s good for all of us. Don’t. Fuck. It. Up.”

Is he fucking it up?

He scrolled through his camera roll until he found the picture he was looking for. A picture of the red velvet cake he bought a few days ago as a nice gesture for the team. The cake was cut in eight even slices, with one slice missing, that he ate by himself because he was too impatient to wait for everyone to be back home and eat it together. Maybe he was always a little bit too impatient and expected too much from others.

He edited the picture, putting a filter over it, that would fit the rest of his feed and posted it on his secret account with the caption: ‘I bleed on the plate in front of you and you sip my blood even though you are not thirsty.’

You sighed looking at the picture and reading the caption and put your phone aside. You were alone in the dance room, trying to take your mind from anything else but dancing. You had to admit, Wooyoung was not the only one making mistakes. You had to focus and get it done with it!

The last time you felt so incompetent while dancing was in your first year you took lessons. You were maybe five or six. You didn’t understand much, thinking that dancing is just vibing with the music. You cried at your first competition after making a mistake on stage, making you feel not good enough. You promised yourself then and there to never feel like that again. And you never did again. 

You were startled when the door opened and Wooyoung entered, holding a small pink box.

“We were supposed to have the day off from practice today. What are you doing here?”

“That’s what I should ask you,” he smiled a sweet smile. “I wanted to bring you some of this, I swear they have no sugar,” he passed you the small box that you opened and saw the same bunny shapes. It was crackers this time, no sugar. “It’s from this bakery that I really like and I swear it’s really nice.”

You scoffed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. “Why are you doing this?”

“I thought it would be nice.”

You pushed the box back to him and looked up straight into his eyes. “Why the fucking bunnies?’

“I thought you’d like them.”

“Why? Why would you think I’d like them?”

Please, for once, say it.

“Because they are cute?”

“For fuck’s sake Wooyoung,” you turned your back to him, pretending to go back to your practice. “Forget about it.”

For once, when Wooyoung got annoyed he did talk back to you. He wanted to just leave. If you didn’t want his gift he wasn’t going to insist. But you had to go and run your mouth and touch his most sensitive nerve. Too bad. “That might be something that you can easily do. But I don’t!”

Were you hearing right? He talked back! Finally. Too bad he also had the audacity. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I never forget anything important to me,” he continued.

“Oh, sure you don’t forget anything,” you interrupted, mocking him.

“But it seems forgetting comes effortlessly for you. Since you probably don’t care about it, it doesn’t matter and it easily disappears from your mind, no?”

“I came to you!” you stopped his rambling. “And you forgot me! You forgot our promise! You forgot to fulfill it! I gave you so many chances and each time you acted as if you forgot everything. Even this stupid fucking choreography. I wanted to do it with you from the beginning. But then you acted like you never cared about it? You were late, you were not putting in effort, you were not even defending yourself.”

And it was out. You kept it in you for so long. It was bound to happen. Was it sort of kind of the reason why everything wrong that he was doing was making you so bitchy? Definitely yes. And now it was sort of kind of out in the open. You could finally confront him about him being the bad guy in your story.

“You, you knew all this time?”

He wasn’t sure he heard right. You knew. It wasn’t just him. But you too.

“I knew what? That we made a stupid promise that you never kept when we were ten? That we met again four years later and I came to you and you acted like you had no idea who I was? That the next year was the same? Even worse? That we were working in the same fucking industry but you never once remembered? Then, yes, yes I knew about all this.”

It was never a stupid promise. Never for him. Thanks to it he actually continued his dance lessons as a child. He ended up winning so many competitions. The scouts from the company noticed him. He debuted. He is here today, with you, preparing for the end of the year awards. He was always grateful for it, even when he thought you didn’t remember. It was never a stupid promise. 

“I never forgot. I knew it was you!”

He was unbelievable. 

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” you threw your hand in the air, in a sign of desperation. 

“I was embarrassed, okay?” Wooyoung fidgeted in place. It was the first time he was going to admit this out loud. Not even in his thoughts did he ever admit it. “Because I wasn’t able to keep the promise and win, I felt like a failure.” Indeed, he never fulfilled his side of the promise. He did win the competition, but he didn’t “snatch” the first place from you. You were not there. And that was the only reason he was able to win. Which was proved years later when you two were competing against each other and you effortlessly won. He never got first place with you there.  

“This is so dumb. I only made that promise with you because I thought you were sweet and cute,” you blushed, “and I didn't want you to abandon dancing, and I wanted to see you again the next year!”

“But you moved away.” He stopped your train of thoughts. As if he found the flaw in your story. It was 100% not only his fault here. 

“But I moved away. And I was still hoping you’d win the stupid competitions so we’d meet at regionals!” Fair excuse. In fact, it was not your fault that you moved. You were too young and you were going where your parents were going.

“But then you acted like you didn’t know me there.” See? Another flaw in your story.

“I wanted to see if you remembered me! And it was obvious to me you didn’t!” Which seemed perfectly reasonable to your fourteen year old brain. Now? Not as much. But back then you could swear this was the most romantic thing you could think of - testing to see if he’d remember. Almost like testing the power of destiny. 

“I wanted to see if you remembered me! I didn’t want to embarrass myself even more, hanging on to a promise from years ago.” Valid. Very valid. Extremely valid. Both to his fourteen year old self and the present self.

“Oh my god?” you groaned. “Not even when I made this whole elaborated plan to have you as my dance partner couldn’t you tell? It took me months to think of something.” 

“You did say your favourite was Hongjoong though. That reinforced to me that you didn’t remember me in fact.”

You groaned. After you debuted you gave up on seeing Wooyoung again. He remained a bittersweet memory in your mind, thinking of him constantly. Wondering what he was up to. Then he debuted as well. The universe was really giving you another chance.

Now, you only had to find a way to be together and see if maybe maybe he could remember you. Which was obviously not easy. Be it award shows, or music shows, it was never the right moment or the right time.

Then an interesting thought crept into your mind. You were going to work on your solo album and have an important  dance segment. You could definitely have a collaboration of some sorts with him. But how were you going to ask for it without it being too suspicious. 

You never lied by saying you wanted to have a song produced by Hongjoong! It was just such a wonderful result of how your plan was going to work. 

“I was giving you signs too!” Wooyoung complained. 

“What?” you got closer to him. “The bunnies?” you raised your chin to face him. “The pictures with cryptic verses?” you squinted your eyes.

“What pictures with cryptic verse?”

There was no way you knew about it. You couldn’t. How could you?

“Don’t act dumb now. I know all about your secret account. And I know you know I know. I even followed you!”

Wooyoung was panicking. “How did you know it was mine?”

“Oh please, the profile picture is your hand as a pinky promise,” you started, “and some things you were writing were fitting with things you were doing.” you felt your cheeks burn just a little bit.

“Like what?” maybe you were bluffing, or simply testing him, as it seems you were testing him constantly. Nevertheless, he was curious what gave him away. It couldn’t have been just the profile pictures. 

“You know…things.”

“I actually don’t,” he looked down at you through hooded eyes, suspicious. You were fucking bluffing!

You avoided his glare, looking away when you finally said with a small voice, “The shower heart convinced me it was you.”

Oh. Oh.

So it was like that. The unspeakable.

“See, that’s another event you were acting like it never happened and you never mentioned it.”

“You never mentioned it either,” you opened your eyes accusingly. 

“Why do you keep waiting for me to do things first?” he closed the distance between your faces, breathing you in. “What was I supposed to say? Can you sit on my face again? Would you allow me the privilege to eat you out again?”

“I didn’t… I never…You…could’ve…” you swallowed your words because anyways you didn’t know what you wanted to say.

Wooyoung chuckled at your loss of words, couldn’t believe you were not having a comeback. It was fairly easy to do and he scolded himself for not doing it earlier, as you were too cute squirming there not uttering a word back to him.

“Cat got your tongue, huh?” he smirked, eyeing your lips. He wanted to test this limit of yours. 

“Don’t be an asshole.” And…you were back to your bitchy defensive self.

“Oh, I’m the asshole? Don’t act like I’m the bad guy now.”

“No. I don’t act anything. Yes, you are the bad guy in my story. So what, I am probably the bad guy in your story. You know we are all bad guys in someone’s story.” You could ramble on and on, deflecting the attention from you to whatever you were trying to say.

Wooyoung cupped your cheek bringing back your attention to him. “Can you just… shut the fuck up for once and let me kiss you.”

He pressed his lips on yours, shyly nibbling at your lower lip. He deepened the kiss, lowering his hand on the side of your neck. You smiled against his lips and shortly giggled.

“What’s so funny?” Wooyoung furrowed his brows. 

“You are acting differently.” You started playing with the zipper of his hoodie, unsure if you should say this. “One day you don’t even look me in the eyes and then the next you tell me to shut up and you do this?” 

Wooyoung’s lips curled into a sheepish smile.

“You mean this?” And kissed you again, deeper and sloppier. “You just got me acting up.”

It was so easy for you to get lost into the kiss, feeling it like a warm embrace in your whole body. 

“I think I might like you more when you actually talk back,” you said in between kisses, trying to gasp for air.

He continued a trail of kisses on your neck, which you found extremely dangerous.

“Maybe we should practice the choreography,” you whispered.

“I thought we were not supposed to practice today,” he breathed on your skin.

“Well since you came all the way here, we shouldn’t waste any time, right? Time is ticking and we should send a new recording.”

You felt his other hand caressing your waist. You really wished you weren’t wearing a sweater. He stopped his sweet sweet kisses and looked at you.

“I think I might like you more when you shut up,” he grinned a shit-eating grin.

“Smartass.”

You did say you liked him more when he was talking back and that was exactly what he was doing.

He didn’t remove his hand from you, one still resting on the small of your back and one still kneading your neck. He was waiting for your next move. If you really wanted to practice, that’s what he was going to do. If not, he also had other ideas.

“Fuck it,” you sighed, reaching for his lips. 

You kissed him exactly how you wanted to kiss him the day he entered through the door of your practice room, hungrily and passionatly. 

Wooyoung’s hands found their way under your sweater, gliding on your bare back for the first time and sending shivers through your body.

“Tell me to stop,” he gasped.

“Please don’t stop,” you breathed.

That was the moment the flip switched in his brain. You chose the section option. To hell with the dance practice.

He guided you to the nearest wall, where you could finally rest against something. You could swear your knees were going to fail on you. 

You quickly unzipped his hoodie and peeled it off him smoothly. He wasted no time and took off his shirt in a swift motion. You trailed the lines of his chest with your fingers, leaving the ghost of your touch burning up his skin.

“One from me, one from you,” he tugged at the hem of your sweater. You raised your arms letting him take it off for you. You wanted to see him work for it. He removed your white top without warning, leaving you half naked.

“That was actually two from me,” you chuckled.

He was kissing the top of your breasts. Licking and delicately biting your soft spots.

“How beautiful,” he whispered against your skin.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, completely leaning between the wall and him and his kisses. You could feel him through your thin leggings and you loved that you had this effect on him. You couldn’t help but slowly move your hips. Yup, you were hot and bothered. How could you not, when you were showered in his sweet kisses.

His hand traveled lower, under your leggings. 

“You do have a habit of not wearing underwear, huh?”

You felt your cheeks turning red. Yes, that was a habit you could say. A habit that you were so going to continue practicing from now on.

You unhooked your legs, allowing him to take off your leggings. He took his sweet time pulling them down, and then slowly kissing your leg up to your thigh, ending up with a sloppy kiss on top of your pussy.

He was in the middle of unzipping his pants when he stopped. “Fuck, I don’t have a condom.”

“That’s literally the last thing i care about right now,” you scoffed and unzipped his pants yourself.

Wooyoung gleamead and kissed your forehead tenderlly. “You are so perfect.”

You raised your right leg, to make space for him. He took out his cock, aligning himself at your entrance, slowly pushing himself inside you. 

Your hips were moving by themselves, you wanted him deeper and deeper. Closer and closer. All of him.

He grabbed your other leg too, hooking them both behind his back. You were wrapped around him, locking him in place. There was no other place he’d rather be except between your legs.

You were softly moaning in his ear and he could swear this was what heaven sounded like. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, increasing his pace, “this feels better than I ever imagined.”

Your lips pursed in a devilish smile, “You imagined this?”

“And so many other things.”

You could not get enough of him. Your eyes were rolling back in pleasure and you were struggling to keep them open and focus on the opposite wall’s mirrors. You could see Woyoung’s back reflecting in the mirrors, his back muscles flexing with every little thrust. You just wanted to have a bite of it. Too delicious to resist. You rested your head on his shoulder, kissing and grazing it with your teeth. That should do. For now.

Wooyoung grabbed your ass cheeks, squeezing them, trying to pull you closer. You were feeling your orgasm, almost there, ready to make you explode and see fireworks.

“So good.” 

“So beautiful.”

“So perfect.”

His praises were what sent you over the edge, riding through your high. For which he was thanking all the gods as he was ready to cum the moment he first kissed you. 

He quickly pulled out as he felt he was going to cum and finished on your stomach. You looked down to your stomach, that was now wet and sticky.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get to ask. And I didn’t want to finish inside without asking.” He was breathing hecticly, recovering from his high.

You touched your stomach, your legs still hooked around him. You traced your fingers through his mess and brought them close to your lips, licking them clean, while keeping eye contact with him.

“You are killing me.” He said, looking up at the ceiling, trying to contain himself.

But oh his neck looked so beautiful.

And you definitely weren’t able to contain yourself, so you started kissing it.

“You’ll make me hard again,” he chuckled. 

“And?” You smiled against his skin. “Didn’t you say you imagined more things? Show me what you had in mind.” | © 2024 gemini-stories All Rights Reserved.

#ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez x reader #wooyoung fic #wooyoung fanfic #smut #ateez smut #wooyoung smut #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung x y/n #kpop fanfic

[kooktrash]

♡ electra heart ♡ | kim taehyung

summary ♡ just dumped by his cheating ex girlfriend, taehyung seeks help from the campus primadonna to make his ex jealous. y/n is spoiled, mean and filthy rich—everything his ex loathed. what happens when the two form a pretend relationship that leaves their hearts in great turmoil? welcome to the life of electra heart ♡

[primadonna—marina and the diamonds, {i know I’ve got a big ego, don’t know why it’s such a big deal though}] [bubblegum bitch {I’ll chew you up and spit you out, cause that’s what young love is all about}]

warnings: 12.5k. fake dating. idiots to lovers. smut. angst. mentions of cheating. tae gets cheated on. y/n is filthy rich and can be a bitch. missionary. kinda passionate. oral [f recieving] ex girlfriend ain’t shit. college au. light dirty talk if you squint. both have been heartbroken before. honestly kinda vanilla but rough? daddy issues. attachment issues. f!reader

There's very few things in this world that bring Taehyung to tears. These weren't even sad tears, he was just overwhelmingly pissed off. It's been a month and everyone tells him to get over it but how could he? His girlfriend of two years cheats on him for her stupid dance partner and he's just supposed to get over it? Pretend it never existed while they get to walk around campus like the happy couple? As if everyone didn't know she was in a relationship with Taehyung. As if there's not already talk of her infidelity? Of course he's mad. He's embarrassed. He's hurt.

"We just understand each other Tae, in a way you and I never would. I didn't mean to do this to you, it just sort of happened. Could we at least remain as friends?"

He scoffed out loud at the flashback. Like wow, how big of a dumbass did she play him for? Remain friends? Be for real Jisoo. Because he'd seriously just get over her betrayal so they could be friends.

"Incoming Bitch Alert, block his view," Jimin said forcing Namjoon to move in front of Taehyung. It only made him roll his eyes at their exaggerated efforts to not trigger him with the sight of his ex and her new boyfriend—or well, not new since they dated behind Taehyung's back for three months.

“You know, I've said this already but I'll say it again. A good rebound will really get you over her, y'know?" Jimin said as he threw his arm around Taehyung's shoulders as they headed to their next lecture. Namjoon shook his head, "Leave the guy to mourn, it's only been a month."

“Yeah, and you two talking about it every five seconds really isn't doing shit for me," Taehyung said clearly exasperated with the whole thing. He's tired of hearing about Jisoo. The more he hears about her the more difficult it is to not let his emotions go on a rampage. He just needed them to leave him alone to get over it on his own. He doesn't need their help. He doesn't need them bringing it up. He'll deal with it on his own, he's a big boy, shouldn't be hard.

“You're right, I'm sorry man, I'll stop talking about her," Jimin responded with an apology as he led the way to their lecture hall. It was some stupid prerequisite math class that clearly all of them have ignored until their last year of University. Jimin's grin widened as he took the other two down a row of seats exactly two rows behind the spectacle, "Look at the view."

Taehyung did as told following his friend's line of sight until he landed on two people drowning in Chanel couture. If he didn't know any better they'd look like they just hopped off a NY Fashion week catwalk. Namjoon spoke before Taehyung could and for that he was thankful. "You're obsession with Y/n L/n and her goons is getting scary Jimin. Besides, Y/n's too much of a snob to even look your way."

“I'd be a snob too if my father's net worth was in the millions," Jimin said completely dismissing everything else Namjoon said, "Plus it's not an obsession. It's an admiration. Unlike others who I will not name for personal reasons pertaining to my good friend Taehyung— Y/n doesn't pretend to be a saint. She's outwardly a brutal bitch and I applaud her for that. Too many girls act like the sweetest girls in the world only to stab you in the back. At least with her I know she'll tell it to my face."

“Way to generalize women," Taehyung pointed out as he set his laptop up for the lecture, "And just because you don't say Jisoo's name, doesn't mean I don't know who you're talking about."

“Never said it was about her but if the shoe fits," Jimin shrugged and the subject dropped. When the professor came in Taehyung tried focusing his attention on the lecture but it was hard when Jimin picked perfect seats to stare at the primadonna.

Taehyung knew you, not well but he's spoken to you before in passing. What he does know is what Jisoo used to tell him. The same old story of two best friends in middle school who took completely different paths in high school and University. In Jisoo's own words, 'Y/n ditched me for her rich friends and next thing you know I'm a nobody. That's why I hate her. She's the type to chew you up and spit you out when she's done.'

Taehyung obviously believed her at first. Jisoo was a sweet, fine arts major he met through theatre. She was kind and caring and was the exact type of person to betray your trust once she had it. Under the pretense of the 'sweet Angel' nobody would suspect her to be as ugly on the inside as she considered Y/n to be. Clearly you had been friends for a reason, except this time Jisoo had been on the outside of this so called cruelty you possessed.

As he studied you, he realized it was true that you could've hopped off the runway and came to class. With your Chanel black mini skirt, pink Chanel sweater, and silver Chanel charm bracelet, Taehyung could easily confuse you with a brand ambassador instead of a college student. You were clearly materialistic but that's all he could say on your character. He was done believing anything Jisoo said to him.

"Would it kill you to take your own notes?" Mira asked you once the lecture had been done and all you had managed to do was draw hearts and scribble your name in your notebook the entire time. You cling to her arm as the two of you begin to leave the auditorium, "Because I'm dumb. You know math isn't for me, please? I don't understand a thing that stupid ass professor says. I only understand the way you dumb down your notes for me."

"Why don't you just get your dad to pay him off for A's?" Mira joked as the two of you got to the door pushing past a group of three guys with your arms looped together at the elbows. You let out a dramatic sigh, "I tried but apparently that's illegal. Besides, straight A's is unrealistic. I'm a straight C student at best."

"Plus, my bestie is, like, Edison or something—" "Einstein?" "Yeah, exactly. You're really smart and you love me so you should tutor me—"

"No way! I love you but you're version of studying is taking five minutes to write down your objective then take a thirty minute online shopping break," Mira said only half joking. You stomped a foot in mini tantrum, "Fine. You suck anyway."

"Whatever, let's go to lunch before I starve to death and Jungkook eats all my teriyaki chicken."

You realized early on school just wasn't for you. It's not that you purposely chose to fail majority of your classes but more so information just didn't stick in your brain. Nothing processed and if it did and you'd do homework the right way, you'd bomb the test still. Though if you're being honest, you're not sure if you're good at anything.

You don't have a job. You don't do well in school. You don't know how to rely on anything but your dad's money so basically, you're a good-for-nothing.

"Need help?" A voice cut into your self deprecating thoughts and made you look up to the owner of it. You recognized him but he better not ask if you remember his name because you don't.

"No," You shook your head a little too quick to wave him off before whipping back around to face him, "We're in math together with professor dipshit, right?"

Taehyung's brows furrowed, "I think so?"

"Alright then help me find this book" You basically demanded as you showed him your phone screen where the text was pulled up. He narrowed his eyes trying to recognize the text before turning to look at you again, "You know you can find that book online for free, right?"

"Yeah but that just ruins the whole academia aesthetic, don't you think?" You asked and it gave him the opportunity to check you out. Sure enough, you were in a black and cream colored Prada preppy look today. He shrugged, "I guess? Come on, I'll show you where it's at."

"Thanks, you're a total doll. What's your name again?" You asked going on your phone to send texts as he led you to the right aisle. "Taehyung," he answered simply and he needs to explain himself. Yes this is the first time he's gone out of his way to actually talk to you but he's got a reason for it. He was just minding his business sitting over at the desk right by the aisle you had been searching through. You were mumbling to yourself and with the clack of your Miu Miu shoes he just couldn't concentrate, therefore he wanted to help you find whatever you were looking for and send you on your way.

"I'm Y/n," you said a little too late for him to remember you two were talking. He already knew your name but no way in hell was he going to admit that. As he turned down the right book aisle, his face turned to show distaste. Just down the other end was Jisoo and Hoseok. You noticed him hesitate but you went ahead and walked through anyway acting as if Jisoo wasn't even there. You didn't care enough about her to pay her any mind. She, on the other hand, had to do a double take when she caught Taehyung walking in with you.

"It should be around here," Taehyung said pointing to one of the book cases trying to ignore Jisoo there. You nodded taking a step back to get a better look and Taehyung tried helping you so he wouldn't look over at Jisoo knowing she was staring. You smiled widely hurrying to get closer as you reach an arm out to point, "I found it. Hold on."

He watched you stretch your arm up but it was just barely out of reach of your manicured nails and he moved closer to grab it. His side rubbed against yours unintentionally and he brought it down in front of you to your grabby hands. You cheered, "Yay, okay I'm gonna go buy it—"

"You could just borrow it from the library, I don't think they sell the books here. You'll have to go to the bookshop and order it to be shipped," Taehyung tried explaining but you were already to focused on the textbook. You waved a hand at him, "I'll forget to bring it back. Plus, they'll sell it to me, I'm very charming."

And rich, Taehyung thought but he only nodded watching you head off with a sway in your hips and he was hurrying to get away as fast as possible.

"Tae?" Crap.

"Hey," Taehyung said. Jisoo really did have the audacity to talk to him while the homewrecker was there. Still, he won't give her the luxury of knowing he's still hurt. Jisoo looked down the other end of the aisle where she got a clear view of you at the front desk chatting up with the librarian giving her compliments left and right.

"It's funny to catch you here, are you, um, are you friends with Y/n?" He visibly rolled his eyes at that as he looked to Hoseok who looked equally as uncomfortable as he did.

He opened his mouth to speak but he was immediately cut off by a hand on his arm pulling him back. He turned quickly, eyes widening at you holding a textbook and receipt, "Told you I'd get it, it's because of my charms—"

"Or your daddy's money," Jisoo cut in suddenly looking just as surprised as everyone else but her words. She didn't mean to say that out loud. Before Taehyung could even react, your eyes narrowed almost venomously, "Jisoo, jealousy and rudeness is ugly, but you manage to pull it off, don't you?"

"Just as ugly as your personality," Jisoo argued but you only smiled. "I think we both know there's nothing ugly about me." Taehyung looked back to you and yeah, nothing ugly about you. Not at all.

Jisoo looked to Taehyung to see if he'd say anything but he wouldn't. He wasn't her protective boyfriend anymore, Hoseok was and he was currently checking you out too.

You turned to Taehyung abruptly, "Can you help me find this one too?" You held up your phone and showed him another. With a small nod he was leaving his ex girlfriend for you.

It wasn't until later on in the day that he had a chance to talk to his friends about what happened in the library. Jimin looked excited listening to Taehyung's tale of the library incident and he practically cheered him on. Jimin pushed against his lunch tray creating a clanking noise that echoed in the lunch room, "Okay, okay, I've got the smartest idea ever!"

"What?" Namjoon asked slightly amused, slightly bored. Jimin grinned, "Jisoo hates Y/n so much so you should make her jealous. Let her see that you upgraded and chose someone better! Y/n is literally the perfect candidate. Jisoo loathes her and clearly Y/n gets under her skin over anything an—"

"No, I see where you're getting at and my answer is no," Taehyung shook his head as he got to his feet holding his empty tray, "I'm not using Y/n to make Jisoo jealous. I don't care how she feels and Y/n doesn't deserve being used like that."

"Bu—" Taehyung shut him up when he left to go discard his tray and leave the lunchroom. Was Jimin crazy? He didn't need anyone to fake date for Jisoo to know he's not still hung up on her. He's not hung up on her, he just can't wrap his mind around getting cheated on. That's what hurts.

The next time he saw you was in class and this time you were joined with a second goon. A guy with facial piercings and arm tattoos. Taehyung will admit, he didn't peg that guy as one of your friends, but then he saw the Vivienne Westwood necklaces the guy wore and it all became clear.

This time it was you who approached him first, Mira and Jungkook behind you as he started packing up after the lecture. You flashed him a pearly white smile, "Do you have a minute?"

Jimin and Namjoon shared a look before they began heading out leaving Taehyung behind. He nodded looking to your two friends in confusion. You cut in front of his vision, "So I was wondering if there was any way, you might tutor me? Mira hates me and Jungkook is just as dumb as me and I'm desperate for some help. I'll pay you and it can be whenever you're free."

So much was said to him in so little time it took him a second to wrap his mind around it all. He laughed nervously, "Tutor? Um, I'm not sure if I'm really cut up for the task."

"Ugh, please? Please with a cherry on top? Pretty please? Please?" You repeated over and over again, "Please?"

"Alright, alright, when were you thinking of getting started?" He asked with a defeated sigh. He caved and now he understood how your charms worked. You smiled widely, "Yay and um, now? Today? Yesterday? ASAP? Are you busy right now?"

"Uh, no I was just gonna do some homework before my next class bu—" "Perfect, okay I'll see you guys later, Taehyung and I are gonna study," You waved off the other two and they left with small hugs. He was quickly realizing you of you wanted something, you wanted it now. He looked at you debating if he was amused or exasperated but he still nodded, "Alright, should we go to the library?"

"It's too stuffy in there, how about a café? I'm in desperate need of coffee."

So that's what happened. He joined you at a café and you ordered you both drinks and pastries and when he offered to pay, you waved him off. "So, did you take any notes from today's lecture?"

"Uh, about that. Professor Dipshit talks so fast and his handwriting is so ugly I just can't get it all down," you handed him your notebook and he couldn't help but smile despite his confusion. You did get some things down but on the sides of the pages were little doodles. He hid his smile, "Professor Choi does write ugly so that's understandable. And it's okay, you can copy my notes and just ask me questions about whatever you're confused about. I'm gonna try and do some assignments in the meantime."

Your eyes softened. Wow, he agreed with you instead of lecturing you. You nodded taking his laptop and writing down the notes. You didn't actually ask him that many questions but it's probably because he'd broken his notes down for himself and you could understand them. He was a couple years ahead of you but he was in the class and clearly smarter than you. Despite the study session going perfect without a hitch in the road, it seemed like Taehyung was just forced to relive the constant flashback of catching Jisoo with Hoseok.

You noticed right away how Taehyung seemed to stiffen at the sight and when Jisoo turned to look at him and then glare at you, you knew something was up. You leaned into him, "So what's the deal between you and Jisoo?"

His brows furrowed. Did you really not know? "We dated." That made you even more confused as you shamelessly checking him out. For some reason the look in your eyes as you did so was enough to boost his confidence that Jisoo tore down. "Really? You're way hotter than her."

"Uh, thanks? We just had very similar interests and I don't know. It just happened," Taehyung said even though you didn't ask. You simply nodded in understanding before letting the topic drop. Taehyung took notice of the way you didn't try and talk about her more and it was like a breath of fresh air but he just had to know more. "So, uh, in the library the other day. You two were kind of hostile toward each other. Do you know her well too?"

You didn't shy away from talking despite Jisoo just feet away telling her order to the cashier. You wouldn't care if she heard you either. As a matter of fact, you hope she can hear you. You nodded, "We used to be classmates and we were super close around middle school until one day we got into this huge fight before high school. She said I would always leave her out to hang with Mira and Jungkook. I tried asking her to hang out and I'd even offer to pay and stuff but I guess it just wasn't enough. I felt bad because I didn't mean to make her feel that way but I guess I'm just an awful person so whatever. We drifted apart in high school and that was the end of that."

Taehyung was actually surprised with how open you were about things. He's not sure what made him be so open despite his embarrassment, "She cheated on me with Jung Hoseok."

"That bitch!" You said much louder than expected and heads turned including Jisoo's. Her brows furrowed and before Taehyung could tell you to bring it down, Jisoo was walking over with a plastered fake smile. "Funny seeing you two here."

"What do you want?" You asked looking up at her as Taehyung did too. Your hand was awfully close to his and as if sensing Jisoo's focus on it, you went ahead and reached for it and put your hand over his. He looked down at the way your small hand rested over his and he turned to Jisoo immediately.

"I was just surprised to see you two, I didn't know you were friends with Y/n, Tae," Jisoo said and he could tell she was annoyed. You rolled your eyes, "I'm confused, does it look like we care at all about what you don’t know?"

"Was I talking to you?" Jisoo asked narrowing her eyes at you before looking to Taehyung who didn't say anything. You smiled sweetly squeezing his hand, "You were talking around me so I answered. If you don't like it then that's not really my problem now is it?"

Taehyung bit his lip turning to Jisoo, "Y/n let's go somewhere else. It's crowded in here." Jisoo didn't move back as the two of you stood and Taehyung looked bored looking at her and it just confused her more and more. Since when were you Taehyung's type? You smiled and left.

"God, I can't stand cheaters," you said once you two were outside in the cold air that had you shivering. You turned to him immediately, "Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. And sorry for holding your hand. I wanted her to get mad."

Taehyung was beginning to realize you weren't a bitch. Okay, scratch that, you kinda were but it wasn't for no reason. You were just brazenly honest and outspoken. You didn't care about being confronted and you didn't back down from it either. Yeah, you came off intimidating but you actually weren’t. Maybe you were just misunderstood.

"So, uh, just kick me in the balls if this is rude to say but... uh... clearly Jisoo seeing me with you pisses her off," Taehyung began and you were already amused, "So uh... you know... uh... I just don't want her to think I'm still hung up on her. And... I don't know—"

"Want me to be your fake girlfriend to make her regret ever cheating on someone as hot as you?" You said it like it was a small favor, "Yeah sure."

He practically short circuited trying to understand everything you said. Well you sure knew how to make a guy confident about his looks and he appreciated that. He's never been an insecure guy but after getting cheated on he's become one. Just constantly thinking about how he wasn't good enough. Still, he stares at you, "Really? Why are you so okay with me using you to make her jealous?"

"Because I don't care," you shrugged, "My dad’s always badgering me about a stupid boyfriend he approves but I don’t really care. And also I hate cheaters. Plus I'm bored and it sounds fun making someone who hates me just hate me more."

He couldn't believe everything you said. No, he didn't believe it. He's convinced you're playing a part, the primadonna. The 'big ego, no cares in the world, everything her way' type. It made it seem like you didn't have any dimension and he knew you did. Still, the vengeful side of him wanted to make her pay, "Okay, then that's my payment for tutoring you. Deal?"

"Let me pay you in cash," you said but he shook his head already walking ahead of you.

      So it started. He came over to your penthouse apartment the next day in clear awe by everything inside it and the pool on the balcony. There was even someone in the kitchen cooking. You led him further in pointing to the woman in the kitchen, "Lee this is my boyfriend Taehyung. Taehyung this is Lee, she makes wonderful food."

The woman bowed in greeting and he did the same before following you up the marble staircase to the second floor.

"Sorry, Lee works for my dad so I made sure to say you're my boyfriend. I just love getting under his skin," you explained as he joined you in one of the rooms upstairs. It didn't seem like your bedroom since it was missing a bed but instead looked like an upstairs living room. He just nodded, "Are you close with your dad?"

"Not really," you said with a shrug already on your phone, "He just buys me whatever I want because he’s a shitty dad.”

jungkook: yacht party on Saturday

jungkook: who's coming

yoongi: not me. I'm planning on sleeping all weekend

mira: sleep with the sharks

you: me and my boyf :p

jungkook: WHOOOOO

you: :p

"What about your mom?" He asked trying to understand you better but the more you spoke the more confused he was. You came off as spoiled and a snob but at the same time you didn’t. Alright, you probably were spoiled but there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the snob part that gets hate and now that he’s talked to you, you don’t even seem like that. You didn't bother looking up at him as you smiled at your friends responses. You shrugged, "Left one day after catching my dad sleeping with his secretary."

Well that explains why you're so willing to help make his cheating ex jealous. But still, he kinda felt bad involving you now. "Y/n—"

"I know so cliché," you rolled your eyes cutting him off before he could get sappy, "Like couldn't he cheat with anyone other than his secretary? Lacks originality if you ask me."

"Okay, here's the plan," you said smiling now and he almost couldn't keep up with your mood change, "Yacht party this weekend. We'll take couple pics, post on your socials and make sure Jisoo sees them. We'll probs have to post a kissing one or something to seem more believable."

"Why are you doing this?" He asked but you didn't even flinch. "What do you mean?"

"I mean come on, you say you're doing it cause you're bored and you want your dad to think you're in a relationship but why?" He asked moving closer to you so you couldn't hide behind your phone, "Why are you helping me? If you wanted your dad to think you're dating, you could have any guy you want. Isn't there someone you're into? I just feel bad using you."

“You’re not using me,” You rolled your eyes as if to say he was the one being unreasonable, "And because all the guys on campus are just... ugh. At least you're cute and not using me as a bragging right. Though if you do I'll hire someone to kill you and hide the body."

Part of him wanted to say he changes his mind. He can't use you for his stupid revenge because it wasn't it. The other part of him knew how much you got under Jisoo's skin and he wanted her to feel angry about it. He wanted her to see that he did in fact trade her in for someone better and he wants her to hurt like he did. Who better to use than the girl everyone loves and loves to hate? He knows he's being petty but it's just not fair. What did he lack that made Jisoo cheat on him?

On Saturday he felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb. Everyone was in designer swimwear including yourself while he wore something from the department store. Of course you told him it didn't matter because you were hotter than the other guys and it did make him feel a little better but not much. He tried not to think about how shameless you were with compliments. He wasn't going to be one of those guys who falls for you. Everyone knows you’re a heartbreaker and he can see why. You’re just so… he can’t explain it, there’s just something about you and it wasn’t just your looks or your money. Still, he’s gotta not let what you say get to his head. You said it yourself, you're only doing this cause you're bored so he needs to take what you say lightly.

"So you're Y/n's new boy toy," Yoongi said shortly after you introduced them to each other before leaving to take pictures with some of your other friends. Taehyung stood against the railing of the yacht when Yoongi approached him. His eyes narrowed clearly taking offense to that, "And you are?"

"I'm one of Y/n's friends, Yoongi," the guy said in greeting and Taehyung just nodded making him laugh, "Relax. I was kidding. Well I wasn't but who cares. Where is Y/n anyway?"

Taehyung pointed you out just as you took a picture with two guys and Yoongi smacked his lips, "Better be careful. Y/n's a slippery one. She gets bored easily." The guy left at that and though Taehyung didn't want to listen to him he suddenly grew worried. You were supposed to be fake dating, right? So he should be the one taking pictures with you. Yeah, that's right. He's here to make Jisoo jealous and he can't do that from all the way over here.

"Let's take a picture," Taehyung said confidently entrusting Mira with his cellphone cutting in between you and the other guys who glared at him. "Taehyungie!" You threw your arms around his neck, "Everyone move, I need pictures with my boyfriend."

Hey. Why'd he like that? Jisoo hated PDA and though he wasn't a huge fan, he liked people knowing he was in a relationship despite how private it might be. Just so people could back off though that never stopped Hoseok. The first picture was cute, a simple smiling one and the second was of you cupping his chin forcing him to make a pout with mad eyebrows while you smiled brightly. Jisoo always took serious pictures and it was always a one and done thing.

Next, he surprised himself by kissing your forehead as you smiled into the camera, hand on his chest while his was around your waist. It’s just, he could acting affectionate with you even if it’s fake. With Jisoo everything they did was always stiff. He was beginning to understand how he wasn’t as happy with Jisoo at the end of the relationship.

Mira groaned, "Ugh how many more? You two are making me sick."

"One more," you said and before Taehyung could figure out what the next one was, you were leaning up to plant a kiss on his lips. He reacted almost immediately, bringing you closer letting himself kiss you back. It was longer than necessary for a picture. You pulled away turning to Mira and taking Taehyung's phone. You began scrolling through the pictures while Taehyung wiped your lip gloss off the corners of his numb lips. It felt like every guy on the boat was glaring at him, and they were.

The next time you two acted like a couple was at a party. Taehyung was nervous at first because he knew Jisoo would be here and probably with Hoseok. You were dressed in a lavender colored mini dress that hugged your curves in all the right places. It was hard for him not to notice you when you just grabbed everyone’s attention.

“Jisoo’s here,” you whispered into his ear as his arm went around your waist. So far, Jisoo hasn’t seen you two outwardly act like a couple. She did look at Taehyung’s Instagram story where he posted the two pictures where you kissed and cupped his face in a cute way. Still there’s no way to tell how she felt about it but now she’d get a good view of them now.

Jimin and Namjoon seemed just as surprised as everyone else when he posted those pictures of you and when they came over they looked ready to ask all the questions. You must’ve sensed it because with a press of your lips on his cheek you were moving away, “I’m gonna get a drink.”

He waited for you to go before turning to his friends. Jimin smacked his arm, “You sneaky little shit! Never though to tell us how you managed to pull Y/n. I thought she wasn’t your type.”

“I never said that,” Taehyung said nervously as he felt Jisoo’s stare at him from across the floor. The music was loud and there were a lot of people but you didn’t seem shy at all. He knows this isn’t your scene. Your scene is parties on a yacht and beach parties, not college parties in someone’s dingy apartment. Still, he’s thankful you didn’t seem all that bothered by it. Sure, the second you walked you basically gagged at the smell of beer and sweat but you’ve been holding up pretty well. Even if he did see you pull out a hand wipe to rid yourself of germs and clutched your wallet closer. Now your wallet is in his pocket. God Forbid anything happened to your dad’s Gold and Black express card for the ultra rich.

“Well you sure as hell acted like it whenever I talked about my Queen. Also, kinda mad at you for stealing my crush but I forgive you because you’ve been having shitty luck with girls,” Jimin said and that made Taehyung gulp. How can he tell his best friend you’re only fake dating? Sure, Jimin had originally come up with the idea but it’s embarrassing to actually go through with it.

“I know Jisoo is shitting bricks over it,” Namjoon said with a little laugh, “She hates Y/n.”

Jisoo had always been one of those ‘peace&love’ girlies who preached positivity and women supporting women. Yet she never had a problem ranting to Taehyung about how materialistic and a bitch you were. She’d practically slut shame you any chance she had and Taehyung wouldn’t do anything but listen to his girlfriend complain. Now he obviously feels bad for not speaking up but what would he have even said when he knew nothing about you at the time to form his own opinion?

He also notices that Jisoo was more obsessed with talking about you than you were with her. It’s like you didn’t even talk about her unless it was about him and he found himself happy to know you were defensive and sort of protective over him.

“Talking about me?” You asked sauntering over in your pretty dress that made Taehyung bring his cup to his lips to avoid from letting his jaw drop. Jimin practically stuttered, “I-I’m Jimin.”

You smiled almost teasingly, “I know. TaeTae talks about you two all the time.” They looked at Taehyung with furrowed brows as if asking, TaeTae? but all he did was shrug. He’s getting used to it but he won’t deny it sounded way more affectionate than Tae—which was what Jisoo called him. Plus it seemed like the exact kind of nickname you’d call him like when you call your friends baby or refer to strangers as Queen, Kings, and Royals for inclusivity. You talked like a California valley girl always saying ‘like’ or ‘duh’ sometimes ‘obvi’.

“Give me,” Taehyung reached for your cup and you tilted it against his lips but you took him by surprise when you pressed your lips against his practically taking back whatever was poured down his throat. It was nasty but in a hot way and it definitely caused a shock factor.

His friends in particular looked a mixtures off confused and slightly intrigued or jealous but he wasn’t thinking about that right now. Namjoon was the first to look away, “I need a drink,” and Jimin followed.

“Is Jisoo still looking?” You said between a kiss and it took him a second to process what you had said, still kissing you. He pulled away, “Hm?”

“Jisoo Dummy, is she still staring?” You asked, hand on his neck trailing down over his shirt almost teasingly. He brought his cup up to quench his dry throat as his eyes scanned over the group of people and sure enough, she was. Oh yeah. That’s why you kissed. Haha.

“Yeah,” he said pressing his lips against yours again, a little tongue poking out to lick against yours one last time before pulling away. This time, instead of wiping your gloss off himself, you ran your thumb over his soft lips until it was off him.

“Careful baby,” you said with that teasing smile as his hand rested on your lower back just above your butt, “Kiss me again and I think you might fall for me.”

“Can’t have that, can we? You’ll break my heart,” he’s not sure why he said that nor why it bothered him that you didn’t deny it.

You two stayed against the wall for majority of the night. His hands kept finding ways to touch you and you did the same. It was easy to believe you were a real couple aside from your occasional comments about someone being hot that did get under his skin just a little. He just had to keep reminding himself none of it was real. That you were simply doing him a favor.

He wasn’t paying enough attention to his surroundings when a group of people passed extremely close to you two. It wasn’t until one of the girls passing had been shoved by her friend, and clear liquid went flying straight toward you two, mostly you. It seemed to go quiet for a second as your jaw dropped in clear shock. The cold liquid smelled of Vodka and it splashed onto the top of your dress down your cleavage.

“Oh my god, Y/n, I’m so sorry,” the girl stuttered holding her empty cup. Taehyung stiffened as your eyes turned razor sharp glaring at the girl. The nice smile you once had replaced by a deep scowl. Taehyung reached for you but you shooed his hands away. Without another word you tilted your cup splashing her with alcohol too and everyone gasped but no one said anything to you. You crushed the cup dropping it on the floor as you smiled tightly, “There, we’re even right?”

The girl didn’t say anything, still holding her wet clothes away from her body. Hers had been an accident but yours was completely on purpose. Though, everyone knows you could’ve handled that much more viciously so nobody argued. You looked at her, “Right?”

“Right,” she mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said, “But maybe you should get friends who don’t get you in trouble, right?”

“Y/n,” Taehyung said but you brushed him off. “I want to go, now.” He nodded pushing off the wall and leaving with you, “You didn’t have to do th—“

“I don’t care,” you said walking ahead of him to the door, “It was her fault anyway.”

“Yeah bu—“

“Oh my God Taehyung I don’t need you lecturing me. I don’t care. I don’t feel bad and nothing you say will change my mind. If you don’t like it then you can leave me alone,” you said crudely. It was like a flip was switched and this was the first time Taehyung saw firsthand how mean you could be.

“I don’t care about what you say either then,” Taehyung didn’t back down as the two of you went to his car, “I know you regret blowing up because you’re not a mean person unless provoked.”

You scoffed, “That’s what you thin—“

“I know,” he argued, “So stop making yourself the bad guy because you’re upset. It was an accident and you know it.”

“If you’re not gonna shut up about it then I’ll just walk home,” you said stubbornly and it was driving him crazy. But he wasn’t regretting being with you? He knows you’re not mean like that. You just snapped before you could think and because everyone’s used to it they didn’t expect anything different. You’re not like that. Not once since he’s hung out with you have you been rude to anyone but Jisoo so he refuses to believe you’re just a bitch because you can be.

His silence was annoying you and so you turned and started walking. He wanted to rip his hair out. Why were you being so difficult and why did he care about his pretend girlfriend acting out? He groaned in frustration as he went after you. “Y/n, get your ass in the car.”

“No,” you said but before you could make it another step, an arm was around your waist pulling you back and your feet lifted off the ground. “Put me down!”

“Alright, once we get to the car,” he said carrying you to it, “You wanna be rude that’s fine but you’re not doing it with me. So sit down and drop the attitude. I’m taking you home.”

He huffed in annoyance as he slammed your door shut and made his way around to his side. There’s no way his pretend girlfriend was getting him so worked up. And why was he putting up with the attitude when he could’ve easily let you go?

     It went on like this for a few days. For some reason, you were a great pretender. Nobody could even tell you weren't actually dating, not even Jimin or Namjoon. And okay, one could say you actually were together but you both knew that's not true. When he went shopping with you, you shamelessly flirted with another guy in front of him. It's not like any of them knew about your deal so you didn't care. He didn't care either. You urged him to get the number of one of the baristas one day while studying and he's not sure why but he did. He never even called or texted the girl. And you two seemed to just never speak about what happened at the party. The next day you were all smiles on FaceTime showing him all the clothes and shoes you’d just bought and he was telling you which ones were his favorite.

He knew it really was getting under Jisoo's skin, mostly because she wasn't hiding it. Suddenly she's bumping into him all the time, trying to talk to him, anything when after they broke up she avoided him. It drove her crazy knowing he was with you, especially after the night of the party

Taehyung hated rude people and yet he let you get away with being a snobby bitch at the party. Of course she didn’t know how he gladly told you what you did was wrong but she hated that he just… didn’t care? One time Jisoo was rude to a sever because she was on her period and Taehyung was genuinely upset with her because of it. Why did you just get to get away with it? He just seemed willing to put up with you more than he ever did with Jisoo.

And now he was having dinner with you and your dad at some expensive restaurant with aquariums between every booth. He'd never even met Jisoo's parents in the two years he dated her. He tried not to talk too much but your father was relentless, "So Taehyung, what do your parents do?"

"You don't have to answer that," you said and for some reason, Taehyung was able to notice your bitter mood today. Your dad scoffed, "He does if he's going to date my daughter."

"They're farmers sir," Taehyung said and suddenly it went quiet with you looking at him now too. Your father just nodded, "Farming? Are they part of the Agriculture Union?"

"No sir, they are independently farmers. We only have an acre of farm land but since we lived in the countryside it supplies us really well," Taehyung told him despite sensing your father's disapproval. Why would you choose him if your dad clearly didn't like anything he was saying? He felt his nerves growing as if he should seek your father's approval even if you weren't actually dating.

"Oh my God," you said suddenly, "I wanna visit some time." He didn't know if you were being serious or not but he took pride in it anyway. Your father on the other hand, snickered, "You can't wear Jimmy Choo's in dirt. You wouldn't survive a day doing hard labor. So tell me Taehyung... and you can be honest with me. I prefer it that way."

"Why are you with my daughter?" He asked Taehyung, "What does some farm boy probably here on a scholarship want with Y/n? Hoping to leach off her allowance?"

"Wow dad, way to be supportive," you said suddenly, "You know what? Why don't you write a check and send him on his way, while you're at it. And don't say you haven't done that before."

"For your own good. You love to help the less fortunate and then what happens? You get bored and come crawling back asking for a new handbag," your dad said looking to Taehyung now, "You hear that? She trades in boys as much as she does shoes so if you think some guy from a small farm has a ch—"

"Y/n, we're leaving," Taehyung stood suddenly, "Get your things and let's go."

Your dad only laughed some more as you quickly stood never seeing Taehyung so serious. He took your hand in his while the other went to your lower back and he turned to glare at your father, "You know, not everything is about money and if you realized that sooner then you'd understand what it means to want to be with someone because you care about them. And I doubt you have the decency to treat any woman with respect enough to love them and not tear them down."

You didn't even have time to process what Taehyung just said before he was pulling you away. It wasn't until the two of you were outside that he cracked, "Fuck Y/n I am so sorry. I am so sorry, fuck I didn't mean to talk to your dad like that but it just pissed me off so much. He has no right to talk about you in that way even if he's your father, not after everything he's done to ruin your family an—Oh God, I am so fucking sorry."

"I'm sorry."

He quite literally froze on the spot. He turned to you with confused written all over his face and it wasn't until he paid closer attention that he realized you were crying. Oh fuck he's made you cry. Immediately he went to you, "Hey, hey, look I'm sorry. I have no right to say anything about you or your family. You can tell your dad you dumped me for being rude an—"

"I don't care about that," you said pushing him away, "I'm sorry that he said those things about you and your parents. It was mean and you didn't deserve that. It's what he does. He knows every woman in his life can't stand him and I'm the only one he has control over so he ruins everything. He should've never brought it u—"

He shut you up the only way he knew how now. With his hands cupping your face and his lips pressed against yours. He didn't care what your dad said and how much money he had. How could a guy not born into money care about things like that? After blowing up on your dad instead of being mad, you cried because you thought your dad hurt his feelings. You put him first before yourself even if your dad punished you for Taehyung's outburst. Maybe that's why you chose to go along with Taehyung, because your dad was the way he was but he didn't care. All he cared about was how everyone painted you the bitch, the primadonna, the spoiled one when deep down you actually cared a lot. And okay, yes, you could be mean, he gets that now and he’s willing to get you to not let your emotions run your mood with everyone.

Neither one of you seemed to care about being on the sidewalk until a car honked at the two of you and you were pulling away. He took your hand, "I'll take you home."

The ride was quiet but not in a bad way. There was like a shift in the atmosphere and Taehyung didn't want you to go. So, when he pulled up to your apartment and you hesitated, "Want to come in?" He was quick to say. "Let me park."

He didn't even give you time to respond before he was driving away to the parking garage. Once he found a spot the two of you stepped out and headed up the elevator neither saying anything now. When you unlocked your front door you asked, "Want anything to drink?"

It seems like neither one of you were ready to actually say anything more other than what was surface level. Still, the both of you seemed to be walking the usual path upstairs but instead of staying in the living room you walked to your bedroom. He followed after and watched you sit on your bed. You pat the spot next to you and he's quick to sit. This time, you're the one to make the move bringing his lips to hers. He only pecked your lips softly, testing the waters for this moment right here.

As if finding the answers he captured your lips in an intense kiss letting himself melt into it. It's kind of like the first kiss you shared on the yacht. Your hand was on his neck now as his lips started moving against yours hungrily. You could barely match his pace despite initiating the kiss. It made you smile into at the thought that he was eager.

Taehyung soon parted your lips slightly with his and you felt his wet tongue dart out to slide against mine gently.

You began leaning back making him follow after you until you were lying in your bed with Taehyung hovering over you. He pulled back looking down at you with round eyes. You smiled, "Why'd you stop?"

He laughed softly at your forwardness before remembering your current situation. He dipped his head lower until his mouth pressed against your neck. He lifted his hand off the bed slipping towards your jaw as he grabbed it and titled your head backwards to get better access. Your lips came up around him making him lay between them and making the kiss a little more intimate. He kissed up to your neck until he was at your jaw.

Taehyung left soft kisses along the curve of your before breaking away to meet your lips again. Your hands ran over his shirt until you were inching it up his back forcing him to step back until you took it off him. He smiled, "It's just like you to get straight to the point."

"Right now I want you. Can't I show it?" you asked and for some reason that made his heart jump. He didn't say anything instead reaching for your shirt and lifting it off too. He could be just as forward as you. His hands were at your sides immediately trailing to your rib cage as he leaned back down to capture you in a kiss again.

He slid them over your bra and without thinking, squeezed a little. His eyes were closed so he felt around blindly when you pushed them further into his hands as he slid it down.

To be honest, you didn't expect him to be as forward as he was but you definitely liked it. Never one to shy away from getting sexual you were pulling on your skirt making him moved down to help you take it off. He went ahead and unbuttoned his jeans too kicking them off before moving to crawl over you again. Before he could you were pushing him down and straddling his lap moving to untie your bra leaving you in just your underwear. His eyes darted to look at every exposed part of your body not shy to stare are your breasts in awe. His lips parted slightly as you leaned back down connecting yours to them.

He let his hands cup your tits feeling the softness of them on his palms, digging his fingers in just slightly. Taehyung's hips began to move on their own, lightly bucking against you. Your underwear was tiny, barely covering anything and yet it's what he expected you to wear. Not that he's thought about you naked, maybe. But it's just that you're the bold type and that's what made you attractive. With only your underwear and his in the way, he could feel almost everything including the way he was basically humping right between your entrance toward your clit. The makeout was quickly escalating and his member was hardening rather quickly.

You moaned softly as his thumbs ran over your nipples and his tongue teased yours slightly messy. Taehyung's covered member was hitting against your clit to the point where you found yourself matching his movements. You wanted him now and for more than just kissing, so you began to slide off him. His head follows yours so the kiss wouldn't break but you pushed against his chest to keep him down. Your hand traces down his body and reaches the over his clothed cock palming him firmly. Taehyung instantly sighs at the touch letting himself relax back down.

Your head reaches his dick and you slowly pull down his briefs solely focused on what you were about to do exposing his hard dick. You smiled looking up at him anything but innocent. He waits to see what you do next and his breath hitched as you reach for his member bringing it closer to your face. Just like that, your tongue was licking along the length.

When you reached the tip you put in your mouth, lips suctioning around the head letting your tongue swipe against the slit. He was in Head Heaven, your mouth felt so warm and wet. His hand moved into your hair not pulling it just keeping your head in place when you began to bob. Your jaw relaxed some more and you were able to move your tongue down his side playing with the extra skin.

"Fuck" Taehyung moans, "You're sucking my cock so good, fuck Y/n." His hand started to bob your head up and down at a faster pace while your hand made a fist around what ever didn't fit in your mouth. His hips met your mouth soft making him hit the back of your throat and he watched closely as you took him in. He wouldn't last long, "I'm close."

You made sure to add more tongue as you wanted him to break apart in your mouth and went rougher. He gripped your hair even tighter, and that excited you knowing he was close. As if reading your mind, he was tapping your cheek lightly, "I want you to ride me. Now."

You didn't pull back even as he moved to sit up making him hiss in pleasure, "Y/n, wait..." Your hand lowered to his balls and with that he knew he had to have you now. He was gripping your hair lightly pulling you back with his hand on your arm to lift you and this time you moved. "Condom?" He asked you and you went straight to your nightstand to grab one.

He took it from you patting your thigh letting you know he wanted you on the bed now. You lied on your pillows as he slipped the condom on stroking himself gently as he made his way between your legs. One hand pushed against the bed near your head and his other lined his member with your pussy. Taehyung's hair was covering your view of his eyes but you could see the way he licks his lips, his tip pressing against your clit watching your hips buck up for more friction. Without wasting another member, he was costing his cock with your slick and sinking into your entrance slowly. His eyes train on yours as he slowly starts moving his hips testing to see how much he could move. You wrapped a hand behind his neck making him lean down and his hips began moving more firmly. His knees pressed into the mattress just below your vent legs and he thrusted more intentionally now.

Taehyung's chest pressed against your t his head fall between your shoulder and neck but turned his head to capture your lips. You moaned bro find a hand down to his lower back, "Harder."

That made him groan, sucking harshly on your neck as he began a rhythmic stroke, roughly fucking you. Neither one of you were necessarily talkers during sex but with the mix of grunts and moans there wasn't much to be said. You both felt so fucking good and your legs wrapped around his waist trapping him in to brutally fuck you.

"Fuck," he growled, hand suddenly going behind your head forcing it against his neck as he lifted your body every time he rocked into you. You couldn't help but moan at the sudden aggressiveness and welcomed it eagerly. You were close. You haven't had sex in a couple months and Taehyung just felt so good. You've been worked up since the second you started making out.

"I'm gonna cum," you panted sound muffled against his hot neck but his hand gripped your hair pulling you away.

"Kiss me," he all but demanded changing his rhythm to be slow but still rough letting you feel every inch. You did as told kissing him hard as he began rutting up his entire body to get deeper, hitting all the right places.

"Cum," he whispered against your lips and it was the only thing you needed to hear before tightening your walls around him with a whine. He groaned loudly against your lips, falling right behind you releasing into the condom. Your body trembled slightly coming down from your high and he let you cling to him.

He pulled away from your bruising lips looking down at you all fucked out. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he moved his hand from behind your head and pushed against the bed to lift himself out.

You just sighed clearly exhausted but in a good way, shimmying up your bed and combing your hair out of your face.

Taehyung took the condom off tying the end and throwing it on the floor unsure what to do. Did you want him to stay or leave? He would like to stay and possibly get some post-sex intimacy but he's not sure if you're about that. You flashed him one of your infamous smiles and reached a hand out to him. He moved to lie down next to you pulling the blanket over the both of you as you attempted to catch your breaths.

You snuggle up to his side on his arm and the other he brings behind his head looking down at you. With the hand behind your head he started playing with your hair.

He couldn't tell if this pent-up hunger for sex of if it was something more. Is he ready for it to be more? Do you even want it to be more? It was hard to tell how you felt because up until this point you've passive with your emotions. You radiated the idea of being carefree and he wonders if this was one of those times you're just doing what you want.

"We've got that exam in class tomorrow," Taehyung said instead of asking what he really wanted to know. He's scared if he talks about anything else you'll draw back. You groaned into his chest, "Don't remind me."

"I've gotta, as your tutor it's my job," he said with a smirk when you rolled your eyes.

You walked into the lecture the next day talking with Jungkook. Taehyung had his last class end early so he got to the room quicker than you. You do sit near each other but mostly because you two were apparently dating. Your friends didn't know that it had all started because you and Taehyung were talking about Jisoo. You're not sure how it's escalated into what it is now and you also don't know how to feel about it all.

You took the seat next to him with Jungkook on your right and Taehyung looked just as hesitant saying hi to you as you did him. Jimin and Namjoon came in moments later waving to you. With that, Taehyung took your hand in his under the table and tried ignoring how awkward it felt. After what happened last night Taehyung ended up leaving. You two talked for a while but laying together like suddenly felt awkward and it was clear you two were done seeing each other.

Taehyung just had so much to think about. He couldn't understand how he felt about everything happening. At first, when Jisoo dumped him that's all he could think about. How she could sit there and admit she cheated and then dump her like it was completely her choice. You've always been in the back of his head but never in the forefront. Now that you were he just felt indifferent and guilty. Indifferent because he's clearly into your but he's not sure if he's ready for that.

It's only been about three months since the breakup and you came along a month after it happened. Can anyone see why he feels indifferent? He likes you but he wasn't in the right place to ask you to be his pretend girlfriend and even though he likes to think it was a mutual thing, he brought it up first.

But he also feels guilty because he doesn't want you thinking he slept with you and did all this for a rebound. Having sex with you wasn't something that had been on his mind despite his attraction toward. Of course he thought you were attractive from before he ever approached you. You were the type that someone passing will notice and with Jisoo always bringing you up with Jimin it was hard for him to ignore. There has just always been something intriguing about you and he can't deny that. But he never thought about sex.

Even when he got closer to you it had just been about him liking getting to know you. You weren't afraid to be loud or do something funny and that's how he was too. He found himself smiling whenever you did something. He liked talking to you and letting you go on rants about literally anything that annoyed you even the slightest.

Still, it wasn't until after last night when he had dinner with his dad did he realize just how much it is now. He was able to suppress it till now but he's not sure he can go back after sleeping with you.

Once the exam was complete he took your hand in his, “Can we talk?”

“We can do whatever, we’re dating right?” You said it out loud before turning to Jungkook and Mira, “I’ll see you later.”

Taehyung’s friends left too and suddenly it was just you. You left the lecture hall and moved your hand out of his to take your lip gloss out of your bag. You held a compact mirror out as you reapplied a thin layer to your lips and smacked them in a kiss. He didn’t say anything but his curiosity was killing him. You were clearly acting distant.

“So what do you want to say?” You asked him and he just bit his lower lip. He’s not sure he can say anything now. You didn’t seem to be in the best mood today and he’s worried you’ll suddenly tell him to fuck off or something. Why do you confuse him so damn much?

“Nevermind,” he sighed, “I’ve gotta get to class.”

“Whatever.”

That made him freeze, hand on his backpack strap debating if he really should just talk to you. No. He can’t. You’re in a fake relationship, right? Minus the benefit that is. So he just left in defeat.

“Are you two in a fight?” Mira asked you the following Friday at another party. The only reason you came is because Mira was hooking up with the guy throwing it and you had nothing better to do. It’s not that you’ve been avoiding Taehyung but you know you’ve been distant. You’re really only show affection to him around Jisoo but it doesn’t matter. You’re not actually dating. It’s all pretend. You’re just bored and having sex was a one time thing due to your emotions being high because of your stupid ass dad.

Real relationships are stupid and too much work.

You’ll admit you didn’t think about him being at this party so you didn’t even bring it up. Now he’s standing across the room looking at you. You just turned away, “No, just tired of him at the moment.”

“I don’t believe you but whatever,” Mira said with a shrug, “Let’s go look at what to drink.”

“Finally tired of him?” Jungkook asked with a laugh, “I figured. He didn’t seem like your type.”

“Why?” You asked suddenly defensive, “He’s hot.”

“Yeah but he’s actually a good person. You? Not so mu—ow!” He groaned when you pulled on his ear. “Talk to me like that again.”

“Please, not like I’m lying,” Jungkook shrugged you off.

“Go talk to Y/n,” Namjoon told Taehyung, “I don’t know why you two are fighting but go work it out.”

He wanted to argue and say no but he’s supposed to be your boyfriend. He had to care that you two were fighting and so he left his friends to go to you. “Y/n.”

“What?” You asked turning away from your friends. He sighed, “Come here.”

You did as told going over to him, “What?”

“Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Why are you so distant?” He rushed every question on his mind out, “Was it because of the other night?”

“Sure.”

Your response made him scoff, “No. Don’t brush me off. Answer my questions.”

“I don’t want to,” you said with a sigh looking around, “I need a drink so I’m gonna go.”

He reached for your hand but you were already gone. With a groan in frustration he turned away immediately. He needed some air to think and so he walked passed his friends to the balcony door with a sign that said nobody could go through.

“Trouble in paradise?”

Taehyung couldn’t help the way his eyes rolled in annoyance ignoring Jisoo. Still, she came over to where he was against the railing, “What do you want?”

“It looked like you and Y/n were arguing so I wanted to come check on you,” Jisoo said and it only made Taehyung more mad. He huffed, “Well it’s none of your business so you can go.”

“I still care about you Tae,” Jisoo confessed moving even closer to him, “And I don’t like that she’s getting you worked up.”

“Just shut up,” he said with little patience for his ex girlfriend. He wasn’t even thinking about her right now. He was thinking about you. “You can’t care about me after what you did. So if you think I care at all about what you think, you’re dead wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” she began to cry, “I’m so sorry and you have no idea how much I regret doing what I did. I miss you so much and seeing you with Y/n drives me insane. I can’t stand seeing her treat you like this and make you mad.”

“Jisoo, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I don’t care,” Taehyung said bitterly, “You cheated on me so I don’t care if you miss me or regret it.”

“I’m sorry!” She kept going, “I swear I didn’t mean to. I just, I thought you didn’t love me anymore and I wasn’t thinking. But please, I regret it. I regret it every day and Y/n doesn’t deserve you.”

“She gets everything she wants and she uses people to get what she wants. When she’s done she just throws them away and I don’t want to see that happen to you,” she moved closer to him, almost touching him backing Taehying into the corner of the balcony.

“She’s mean Taehyung. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself and please, please just take me back,” she said. Taehyung scoffed ready to tell her to fuck off when she did the unthinkable. Her lips pressed against his and before he could process what was happening, the door was swinging open.

“Tae—“ he pushed Jisoo away glaring down at her when he caught sight of the open door. There you stood looking anything but happy. “Y/n,” he made a move to go to you, heart racing out of his chest but you were leaving. He was going after you, Jisoo clinging to his shirt, “Wait—“

“Get off me!” He yelled, angry for real this time, “Don’t you get that I don’t want you? I don’t care how you feel. I don’t care what you think and I can’t believe you just did that!”

“Bu—“

“No, just stop. Y/n’s not the problem, you are. You’re a fucking cunt Jisoo,” Taehyung said honestly, “And I love Y/n way more than I’ve ever loved you and you just fucked up my chances at getting her back. I can’t stand you, do you get that? You didn’t deserve me and I’m happy I see that now because you’re an awful person.”

He knows he was being mean but it was just built up frustration toward her that was finally coming out, “And you’re a dirty cheater and I’ll make sure to remind Hoseok of that. Now move.”

He left with that running back into the apartment looking for you.

“Where’s Y/n?” He asked Jimin in a rush. Jimin pointed to the front door, “She just left. What’s go—Tae!”

He ran out the door calling out to you, “Y/n!”

You were already on the street as he chased after you. “Just stop Taehyung. You wanna run back to your cheating ex. Just do it. I don’t care.”

“I would never! I love you Y/n,” he said honestly because it was true. How could he not fall head over heels for you since the beginning. You proved every bad thing he’d ever heard about you wrong. Sure you snapped at that girl but he knew it wasn’t like you.

“Oh please,” you scoffed, “You love Jisoo. That’s why you wanted to make her jealous in the first place—“

He pulled you back into him by your arm. Had he really chased after you that quickly? He was out of breath, “I don’t give a fuck about her anymore.”

“Then why keep the act up? Were you just waiting for the moment she apologized? Because she’s a cheater and I don’t care if this relationship wasn’t real between us, I hate cheaters and you just kissed her,” you said referring to what you had walked into. All you had wanted was to apologize but clearly he had other plans that didn’t involve you anymore.

“Let me explai—“

“No,” you said pushing him away, “No. I don’t care. I don’t care about what you have to say. I’m done with you. I don’t need a relationship with you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Taehyung shook his head, “You do care. I know you do. That’s why you’re being mean right now and if you

just let me explain and stop a—“

“No! No! No! I’m being mean because I can be and if you don’t like it you can leave. I did this because I was bored and you were easy to make my new toy,” you said viciously, “So don’t act surprised that I don’t want to deal with you anymore. Go back to Jisoo and leave me the fuck alone.”

He wanted to act like your words didn’t sting a little but you were being cruel. If you hadn’t walked in at that moment. If you would’ve just seen him push her away and tell her he loved you.

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered and you didn’t mean it. You really didn’t but you weren’t going to get hurt er over a guy you weren’t even dating. You just shrugged, “I do. So this fake relationship is don—“

“It stopped being fake to me the second you kissed me on the yacht,” Taehyung confessed, “But I didn’t want you trying to run away from me like you’ve done the last few days. And now you’re using the kiss as an excuse to push me away when we both know I don’t feel shit for Jisoo. I know you know she kissed me. I wouldn’t be here right now if I wanted her.”

“Well I don’t c—“

“Yes you do!” He yelled at you. You two were arguing on the street for anyone to see but he didn’t care about anything but you. He grabbed you by the waist shaking you a little, “You do care so stop acting like you don’t. You can play the mean bitch card with anyone else but not me! I know the real you and I know you care about me too. And I swear to you, that kiss meant nothing to me. It disgusted me.”

You didn’t say anything but he knew he was breaking down your wall so he kept going, “I know how everyone perceived you but I don’t see you that way. I see you as someone who’s been let down a lot and your defense mechanism is getting mad and I don’t want you like that with me,” Taehyung said moving closer to her. You let him pull you into a hug.

“I really care about you and I know this is happening so fast but I couldn’t stop thinking about the night of the dinner,” Taehyung held your face in his hands, “And I want to be with you. Not as pretend but really as my girlfriend.”

“Are you sure you’re not saying this to get back at Jisoo?” You asked with a pout. He shook his head, “Fuck Jisoo and everyone else, it’s just you.”

“Even if I’m mean and spoiled?”

“Especially because of that,” he teased brushing your hair out of your face before kissing the tip of your nose, “I like everything about you and we’ll work on whatever needs to be done because I want to be with you so damn bad.”

“At least we don’t have to tell anyone we’re dating now.”

He smiled, heart melting a little as he tilted your head up and connected your lips with his. You smiled back, “Just so you know. I love you too and I’m really sorry for pushing you away. If I hadn’t gotten mad then Jisoo wouldn’t hav—“

“It’s fine baby, as long as you love me I don’t care about the rest.”

::.

request 1

request 2

wow I wrote this in less than two days ain’t that something

thanks for over 4K followers. luv and appreciate everyone.

I’m convinced Tae is really affectionate and understanding so when he got to know y/n he just fell in love

and I don’t wanna hear anything bad about this y/n bc she skims over her trauma which clearly explains why she acts the way she does 😜

hey siri play daddy issue by the neighbourhood

hey siri play evergreen by Omar Apollo

hey siri play liquid smooth by mitski

#kpop #kim taehyung #Taehyung smut #bts #bts smut #idiots to lovers #fake dating

[soursturniolo]

jealousy, jealousy • chris sturniolo

hc about a friends with benefits situation with chris where he gets jealous

suggestive-ish content (mention of sex, that’s it)

requested? yes! hope you like it!

- surprisingly, the friends with benefits situation between you and chris was pretty healthy in your opinion. you both were very clear on boundaries and the fact that you were, and always would be, best friends first. that was most important. you guys just also shared a bed some nights as well. it was to blow off steam, to feel good, and not be hooking up with randoms who couldn’t be trusted.

- the sex was incredible because of how comfortable you both were with each other. you guys could laugh and be yourselves and not be so consumed with trying to be sexy or hot. you could also be 100% open with what you liked and didn’t like.

- despite just being fwb, chris treated you to a lot of gf perks. as much as he seems like a player, with you he could never be that way. it was important to him you didn’t feel used; that you liked the situation just as much as he did, and felt respected and taken care of.

- never would just kick you out or imply that you needed to leave after hooking up. he was always there, offering you a clean T-shirt or hoodie and a pair of his boxers to sleep in, asking you if you just wanted to stay the night. any time you decided to not stay the rest of the night, he insisted on paying for your Uber home if you didn’t drive yourself over. he also insisted you text when you make it back home.

- one time when it was super late you forgot to text him you made it home and he was very quickly blowing up your phone until you responded. he does care a lot for you, you’re his best friend.

- still your bestest friend even though you were fucking, so of course you told him when you met a guy and was considering going on a date.

- chris was just suddenly filled with this,,, unsettled feeling?? like,,, why were you talking to other men? he hasn’t talked to any other woman in months, other than pleasant greetings or casual conversation. he has no reason to.

- you showed him the guys instagram and IMMEDIATELY this kid snatched your phone and was dragging this poor guys entire existence. his insta bio, his face, his poses, his post captions, the guys height even though chris doesn’t have much room to talk.

- anything chris could criticize, he was criticizing.

- “chris no he’s really nice!” “i don’t care if he’s the president you can do better!”

- you go back and forth for a bit arguing about this man, before you finally snap.

- “really chris? I can do better? where? with who?” “you can!” “with who?!” “someone!” “there’s no one else chris, no one else seems to want me!”

- he finally snaps.

- “there’s me! i want you! that guy looks like a dick and probably wouldn’t even treat you right and im literally right here, always have been!”

- you’re both quiet for a minute, looking at each other wide eyed.

- chris bites the bullet, looking away and finding interest in anything but your face when he speaks again

- “listen, i know that’s probably not what you want to hear from your friend with benefits but im sick of pretending i don’t care about you more than just-”

- before he can finish you’re grabbing his face and pulling him in for a kiss. he’s surprised at first but soon you’re both smiling against each others lips and laughing

- you guys stayed up that whole night talking, and realized that what you thought was a wonderful friendship and arrangement was just the foundation for a very happy relationship

#sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets fanfiction #chris sturniolo fanfiction #chris sturniolo fic #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader

[bau-drabbles]

dancing with your ghost

a/n: enjoy! and apologies if it's ooc for him 💀 it was written in a rush :)

maeve's death affected spencer relationship with you more than realised, he just didn't know the true extent of it until jj points it out

"what are you doing spence? you shouldn't be in here, not like this" jj entered the room, to see him buried in files. his curly hair was tousled, like he'd been running his fingers through it countless times. and judging by the tense lines on his forehead, she guessed it was one of those days. he was distracted, his fists clenched tightly around the folders.

she'd gone to you just moments before, wanting to know what had happened. she could see the pain in your eyes but you didn't want to speak so she didn't force you. and how could you?

the anger practically swallowed you whole, making you see red whenever his name was mentioned. she was your closest confidant in the bau, jj knew spencer was the reason for your pain. and despite you telling her over and over not to confront him, she did so anyway. it had to be done.

however today, the atmosphere was different. spencer was different. so were you.

"she had you, so it's fine. i'll talk to her tomorrow" he hated how selfish he sounded, how cold he was. but those horrible thoughts he tried to keep at bay poisoned his mind, the darkness trickling in through the cracks of his facade.

the fight you both had just hours before killed him more, he needed you. he always did. so why was his feet planted firmly on the ground, refusing to seek you out. why did it feel like there was a knife in his heart, twisting deeper every second he was away from you? why did it feel like his whole world was about to crash down at any given second

he tried to keep himself distracted but all his mind would replay were those haunted pictures of his ex lover. how helpless he was, how completely lifeless her body felt, how he could prevented it all. and it absolutely obliterated him in pieces.

he would wake up in cold sweats, looking to his side where you'd be snoozing away peacefully. and he reminded himself that you were there and safe and sound.

until the next time you wouldn't be.

"come on spencer, doesn't she mean anything to you? don't you love her?" jj's voice was sharp, tired of the eggshells she was walking all around him. she knew she was being unfair but she also knew how it felt to be hurt by him, how it felt to be completely isolated from him.

to her surprise, he whirled around, his lip curled into a sneer. she'd never seen him so agitated before

"love?? how can i trust in love? how could i ever trust in something that could be so present in one moment and so absent the next?" spencer scowled, slamming down the papers he had in his hands.

painting you in a bad light, he thought would make the whole ordeal easier. he could pretend he never loved you but his heart betrayed him. for every beat yearned for you only. every thought that ran through his head was consumed by you. like your soul was in his body, coursing through his veins.

"do you love her?" her voice interjected, coming closer.

"what kind of question is that?" spencer raised a brow to which jj rolled her eyes.

"answer it spencer" she spoke again firmly. he knew there wasn't a way out, she would know if he was lying. he wasn't very good at keeping those for long anyway. he slumped back into his chair, his arms wrapped around him tightly. his sorrow painted so glaringly obvious upon his features, he wondered if he would ever have a happy life.

one where you would be there, one where he didn't need to run from his happiness. one where he didn't need to constantly look back in fear.

perhaps that life simply didn't exist for him

"so much so, it consumes me daily" he whispered the sentence, he never thought he could've ever loved another human so fiercely. so passionately. so much like his old love

"then trust in that. if you can't trust in love, trust in y/n. trust her, trust in her love. go to her and make amends, she needs you as much as you need her, spence. i promise you" jj eagerly spoke, hoping he would spring up and dash out the door. but some things don't happen as they plan.

"these issues are not surface level jj. they run so much more deeper than that. don't you think i want to trust y/n? don't you think i want to give her my all?" the files were on the floor as he stood up, his head in his hands. it felt like to was going to explode with how many thoughts were crammed inside.

"why don't you? take a risk for once in your life spencer"

"i do take risks, calculated ones" he mumbled, his arms wrapped around themselves.

"and what of this?"

"this.... is not calculated. i cannot determine the outcome of it. i'm not in control, my heart is. and i don't think i could bear if it breaks again" finally what jj had been waiting for, the turth finally had revealed itself. but it was more complicated than she realised.

"it's maeve..... isn't it?" jj's voice was softer this time, shocked by his confession. there was no use in hiding it anymore. the dark rings around his eyes, his sunken face, all of it due to the nightmares that kept him awake at all hours of the night. the fear that once he achieved you in his arms, it would be taken just as quickly. he nodded, a sad smile while his eyes began brimming with tears

"i see her every night and every night it ends with her being shot. i could have done something to prevent it, i know i could have. and i'm so scared of that happening to y/n. she's not from our world jj, how could i subject her to a punishment like this?" it feels like he's underwater, his breathing hitched in his throat. his eyes water, biting his lip to stop the trembling. but it wouldn't work, nothing would.

"that wasn't your fault spence, we didn't know she would do that. nobody would" she touched his hand, her baby blues watering at the pain her friend was going through. just when the slightest bit of happiness fell into his lap, it was snatched away before he could've enjoyed it.

"that's just it. i should've known. y/n could enjoy a life where she wouldn't constantly be worried for her life at every turn, she could free. free from the life i could give her, free from me..." the tears dropped like pearls, down his face and onto the desk. with every drop, it cut jj deeper. that she too was helpless in that nothing she could do would remedy his pain and yours.

"spencer..." each cracked word he spoke she felt her heart break further. how you would never know the true extent of his behaviour, how even after all this time, the nightmares continued to plague him. and he didn't tell anybody, not a soul.

"i lost maeve, i can't watch y/n suffer the same fate. she deserves so much more than i could ever give her" his voice is strained, trying his best to keep his composure professional but each thought drove him further and further to insanity

his hands reach out to his wallet where there's a small picture of you. his fingers shakily traced your picture, you were so happy. his mind was trying to engrain the beautiful smile you donned into his mind forever. so that when tomorrow arrived and he'd no longer be there, that thought couldn't hurt him. he'd only remember your smiling face

but it would hurt, of course it would.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid x y/n

[system-of-a-feather]

For realsie though, I really wish I could look at the people who are diagnosed with DID and get upset at people "making it look like a fun disorder to have" with some level of sympathy or empathy, but I really honestly think that rhetoric is really honestly destructive as a means for self soothing and one I really just can't stand personally.

Like this disorder sucks ass and the reason it happened sucks ass and recovering with it sucks ass, but I don't see that rhetoric as any better than stating that "anyone who went through that could NEVER recover or live happy".

And I get where that comes from, I do, but at a certain point in trauma processing, stabilization and recovery, things start to click that trauma is over and PTSD inherently is referencing an event that has already passed. Trauma sucks. Severe chronic trauma SUCKS, but that's the past and - while its a LOT more difficult than it is to just say - that past REALLY doesn't have to define the present even a quarter as much as trauma makes it feel.

Of course, I understand and get those who feel like DID is horrible and a hell disorder - I 10000% understand that and its a valid feeling / opinion / statement to make, but to claim that it is impossible to have fun, be happy, and make casual content and just genuinely make the best out of a shit situation; or to claim that anyone with DID would be totally dysfunctional and miserable and unable to do XYZ - it's just... really self depricating and a huge negative self fulfilling prophecy don't you think? Also not to mention a LOT of projecting?

Other people don't deserve you forcing your self loathing and pain onto them. You are allowed to hate your situation, you are allowed to hate your disorder, you are allowed to feel and think and experience your experiences however you want, but a line is drawn when it comes to displacing that hatred, those feelings, those thoughts, and those experiences onto others and demand that they should meet your standards of misery.

I apologize, but I'm not going to pretend like DID stresses me out when I'm really not stressed by it anymore because most of our regular parts are actually decently connected and coordinated with one another. I'm not scared of them and they aren't scared of me. I'm not fighting them and they aren't fighting me. We got trauma but we also got, ya know, a life going and the trauma gets less and less prevalent and intrusive as time goes on so, life's honestly pretty lit and I really love to see other systems heading in that direction.

I think everyone should aim to be happy and at peace with their disorder. I don't understand, empathize, or support the idea that someone had to meet a standard of misery to be "real".

(TW: suicidal ideation and physical abuse mention)

If I take medication that makes it so I don't scrub my hands raw and have panic attacks over having not eaten a salad "recently" thus meaning I am going to rot from the inside out and die, does that mean I am faking having OCD? If I take medication and improve my life so that I only pluck my hair once a month, is my Trichitillomania faked? If I stop having suicidal ideation, does that mean I was faking being suicidal the whole time? If I stop having bruises, does that mean I faked being beaten as a kid?

(TW cleared)

Recovery and peace should and does not ever invalidate the truth of the pain suffered and the struggle overcome. Happiness and joy can co-exist with the truth of hurt, pain and suffering.

Trying to hold the two as mutually exclusive is a huge part of why a lot of people get stuck being miserable. If misery is vital for honoring your pain as real, it is very hard to let that go and let yourself be happy again, because if you are happy, what will attest to give your pain justice? But pain, justice, misery, and happiness - they can all co-exist and honestly, that's a really important thing to learn and understand in my healing journey as it really opens up doors to letting trauma go.

Your pain doesn't define your truth.

Your truth is your truth.

It will stay true regardless of if the pain persists or leaves.

#alter: riku #ptsd #c-ptsd #cptsd #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #ocd #physical abuse mention #recovery #healing #syscourse #discourse

[tangerinesgf]

Hii!🥰💜🍊 If it’s okay, can I please request a Tangerine x fem!civilian/innocent reader where Y/n is Tangerine’s girlfriend and close friends with Lemon, but she doesn’t know what they do for a living because Tangerine doesn’t want to scare her and wants to protect her. But one day she walks in on Tangerine and Lemon doing a job. Y/n is terrified and confused and they both have A LOT of explaining to do😳) Y/n still wants to be with Tan though because she loves him so much🥺🍊🥺 Also Tan calming Y/n down🥺🥺🥺

Tangerine × innocent fem!reader

Warnings: angst/fluff, mentions of blood and a dead body, Tangerine's use of language,

Disclaimer: English is not my first language nor do I know a lot about British slang. Also this is not really proof read, so any mistakes are my own.

A/N: Thank you so much @kpopgirlbtssvt for your request, I hope you like it <3 I feel like the ending was a bit rushed but you I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Tangerine wouldn't tell you what exactly he did for a living, hell he wouldn't even tell you his real name. Not that you minded calling him Tangerine, 'Tan' or just 'T'. It suits him for some odd reason.

Whenever you asked he always replied with some variation of 'don't worry about it, love' and then went on to change the topic.

That alone was probably the biggest red flag you'd ever seen in a guy, but there was just something about him. The mystery was part of the intrigue for you.

So whenever he told you to let it go, you did, because no matter how curious you were, you trusted him.

For some reason you trusted the man who you'd been dating for about a year now, but knew almost nothing about, with your life.

That was until you found him and his brother at their house covered in blood and what seemed like a body on the floor.

◇◇◇

Tangerine didn't tell you about his job for a 2 reasons. The first being that he wanted to protect you.

His job was dangerous and the people involved, including himself, were no joke. Him and his brother had made a lot of enemies over the years, who knows what would happen if they found out about you.

One of Tangerine's favorite things about you was your innocence. When he was with you he could forget about all the blood and violence he'd dealt with on a daily basis. Pretend none of that existed. He would do anything to keep you away from all of that shit.

The second reason, believe it or not, was that he was scared.

Being an assassin for hire wasn't exactly something that people looked for in a partner, to put it lightly.

He was terrified that once he told you the truth, you'd leave him. And although he hated lying to you, he hated the thought of you leaving or being scared of him even more.

They were currently trying to clean up the body (or what's left of it anyway) of the bellend who thought it was a smart idea to try and kill them in their own home.

The brothers as the entire floor was covered in blood. Fortunately, none of it was theirs. That was gonna be one hell of a dry-cleaning bill tomorrow.

"Tangerine.." Lemon spoke just above a whisper.

Tangerine was trying to shove the guy in the body bag, so caught up in his task that he hadn't heard Lemon until he almost yelling at him.

"Tan!"

He dropped the guys legs and looked up at his brother.

" 'fuck do you want, can't you see I'm busy here?"

Lemon stood almost frozen staring at what seemed like the front door. He followed his brother's sightline until his eyes landed on you.

Fuck.

He'd forgotten you were supposed to come over for dinner tonight.

Fucking shit, fuck. This is exactly what he was trying to protect you from.

When Tangerine looked you over he could see your whole body trembling, he'd never seen you look so scared and vulnerable. He hated that it was him who was responsible for that.

This was it, he had done everything to keep you away from this and now you'd found out, because of some fucking prick he'd never even seen or heard of.

Not being able to stand the silence anymore Tangerine slowly rose up from the ground. When he saw you take a small step back he put his hands up.

He would never hurt you, but he understood that you might need some more reassurance given the situation you were currently in.

"Alright now I know how this looks-"

"Is h-he..?" You stumbled over your words as you were trying to comprehend the scene in front of you.

"Yes." Neither one needed to specify to understand exactly what was going on.

Your breath hitched at the admission and you found yourself taking another step back, only for your back to be met with the door.

"We ain't gonna hurt ya, love."

You had never had any reason to believe that he would. Except, you had just found him trying to stuff a dead body into a bag.

"You.. you killed him?"

"I mean to be fair he started it." Lemon answered way too casual given the situation.

If looks could kill Lemon would be six feet under, by the way Tangerine stared at him. How could he be so calm right now?

"I'm just sayin' it wasn't our fault."

"The bloke is dead anyway, it doesn't matter who started it, does it?"

"Thought she'd like to know." Lemon seemed to be almost unbothered as he shrugged it off.

"Just shut the fuck up, will ya? You're only making it worse."

"Fine, guess I'll go take a shower or somethin'."

Tangerine turned his attention back to you, still standing by the door. All the color drained from your face and he could see you were struggling to hold yourself up.

Tangerine put his hands back up and slowly started making his way over to you, when you made no move for him to stop. "Look I can explain."

"This is what you do?" You asked in disbelief.

"Well it's a bit more complicated than that." Because yes he killed people for a living, but not just anyone. These people were the absolute fucking worst. In his mind he was doing the world a favor.

You raised your eyebrows at him.

"Right, okay not the time."

Tangerine signed. How the hell was he going to explain this to you without making it worse. He wanted to get closer to you, to hold you and forget this ever happened.

"Look Lemon and I are what you can call 'outside contractors', people hire us to do a job and we do it. That's all."

You let out a dry laugh. "When you say it like that, it almost sounds like you don't actually kill people for a living."

"Can I ehm-?" Tangerine took a small step asking for permission to come closer. He could see you were hesitant but finally walked towards you when you gave him a small nod.

Tangerine took your hands in his. His deep ocean blue eyes staring right into your soul.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you, darlin', I just couldn't stand the thought of losing you. Our lives are extremely dangerous and I just couldn't risk it."

Your eyes softened, you could understand that he'd been trying to protect you and himself by keeping this from you. Yes, it was going to take some time to come to terms with this, but you could never leave him.

"I'd completely understand if you want nothin' to with either us and I know I have no right of asking you this, but I'm begging you to keep this to yourself."

Silence fell between the two of you. What were you supposed to say to that. Your Tangerine who was one of the most self-confident people you know, was now practically begging in front of you.

You should probably be more bothered by the fact that your boyfriend is a literal contract killer, but with him almost on his knees in front you all those thoughts left your mind.

"Tan, baby... I would never leave you."

Tangerine looked at you with what you could only describe as puppy eyes. Like he couldn't believe you had actually said that.

Next thing you knew he pulled you into a hug so tight your ribs might crush underneath him. Tangerine had been sure the moment you found out you'd leave him, but here you were staying by his side even now.

He know he should tell you to leave, that being with him was dangerous, but he couldn't find it in himself. You meant too much to him.

If your relationship survived this, it could survive anything.

A/N: Tysm for reading, feedback is always appreciated<;3

Taglist: @assmaster37 @venusthepirate @waiting4ff @bratdoll666 @wrendermeuseless (lemme know if you wanna be added or removed)

#tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #tangerine x fem!reader #tangerine bullet train #bullet train #aaron taylor johnson #lemon and tangerine

[vintage-bentley]

How in the fuck are you going to be anti trans and a Good Omens fan as if both the book and the show don’t explicitly establish the existence of several nonbinary characters and both Aziraphale and Crowley themselves are genderless beings

Not to mention both David and Michael’s staunch support of the LGBT (really emphasizing the T here, since you love to drop it) community as a whole, and David literally has a trans child

Part of me is even asking this in good faith because how do you see a series that is so incredibly queer and like it considering how much you shit-talk trans people on your lackluster TERF blog

There’s many reasons, actually! I’ll explain them in good faith, because I think that people who ask questions like this don’t understand the perspective of so-called “terfs” and assume we think like you do.

Firstly, I’m a feminist, so I’m used to media not aligning with my politics. I expect it, actually. Down to very simple things, like knowing I’m never going to go into a show and see a woman just existing with body hair like men do in shows all the time. But I’m comfortable and confident enough in my beliefs that I can consume media that doesn’t align with them. This extends to my feelings regarding gender. A they/them character doesn’t make my head explode, it’s just the same for me as seeing a Christian character (like Ella from Netlix’s Lucifer) or a female character who’s pro-beauty culture (like Elinor from First Kill). It’s a representation of a belief I don’t agree with and personally don’t believe in, that’s all.

Secondly, Good Omens is set in a made up universe with fantasy themes. I can easily get behind the idea that the true forms of angels and demons are genderless, because that makes sense to me in the same way God being genderless makes sense to me. This doesn’t have to carry over to me believing that humans can be genderless (I don’t believe in the concept of internal gender identity, because I don’t believe in souls. So I guess the better way to put this is that I don’t believe humans can be sexless unless we’re using gender and sex as synonyms). In the same way that it makes sense to me that angels and demons have souls that are put into bodies issued to them…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Or how it makes sense to me that Aziraphale and Crowley could survive without food, water, and sleep…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Etc. etc.

Basically, just because something is in a fantasy show, doesn’t mean I have to believe it’s real.

Thirdly, what the actors do in their own lives is none of my business. I don’t agree with supporting the TQ+ especially in relation to LGB (considering they’ve made it a primary goal to harass lesbians into pretending we can like penis, and to take every chance they get to express their hatred for homosexuality. I love to drop the T because they dropped me and my fellow homosexuals years ago). If two straight male actors want to do that, whatever. I also don’t agree with Sheen having a baby with a woman his daughter’s age, but that hasn’t stopped me from watching the show or appreciating his talent.

This all takes me back to what I said about believing you don’t truly understand the perspective of those you call “terfs”. Just because you might not be able to comprehend watching and enjoying something that doesn’t perfectly align with your worldview, doesn’t mean others feel the same. For example, many radical and rad-leaning feminists enjoyed the Barbie movie, despite it not being radical feminist. We’re capable of watching and enjoying things we don’t agree with, and of having discussions about why we don’t agree with it.

A much simpler answer to your question would be: I’ve always loved angels and demons and all things supernatural. I’ve always loved old cars. I love Queen. Religious/moral commentary and critique interest me. I love lighthearted comedies. I’m gay and starved for representation of healthy gay relationships. I love gay star-crossed lovers stories (go watch First Kill). Naturally, I’m going to love Good Omens, even if it doesn’t perfectly align with my worldview.

#asks #anon #it’s not even just the stuff regarding gender I don’t agree with! #I have a HUGE issue with the existence of Ms Sandwich and her ‘stable’ of ‘girls’ #brothels are insanely inhumane and a breeding ground for human trafficking. And women are human—not property to sell #tbh I take bigger issue with that aspect than any of the gender stuff #there’s also the whole thing with God being a woman/having the voice of a woman… #…despite there being no attempt at reimagining what the world would be like had it been made by a female god instead of a male one #(example: maybe Adam would’ve come from Eve’s rib. Maybe Adam would’ve been responsible for the Original Sin) #instead Neil keeps all the patriarchal religion stuff in and pats himself on the back for casting a woman as God #what I’m trying to say is that yeah. I have disagreements with the show. so what. #it’s still a good show even if it’s not a radical feminist/rad-leaning show

[nyaskitten]

Something I REALLY like about Ninjago is just how much fan creations and OC's are sooo ingrained in the fandom and fandom culture. With other shows, people usually wouldn't read your random fic where you threw in random OC's for no reason, but with Ninjago, you can have a literal multitude of reasons for the silly blorbos you created to exist!!!

Other shows don't have "fan seasons" they have fan episodes because normal shows HAVE over-arching storylines. You can't just insert a random season into, say, the middle of AtLA. That'd be ridiculous!

But with Ninjago, you could slap a WHOOOLE season between, say, seasons 2 and 3 about some ancient race of goop monsters, and because Ninjago is so prone to never acknowledging some earlier ideas, you could 100% pretend that's a real, canon thing that totally happened!

Even add in an OC or two, because god only KNOWS how much Ninjago loves introducing random guys to throw away!!

Also, not to mention like, more on fan creations, the fanart, and specifically the effect it had on the show. The "anime" episodes exist because of the fandom and the art that the fandom has drawn. Ninjago has three whole episodes, which were them testing something new and innovative and uncanny and epic, because of the fandom. Do you not think at all about how cool and silly and fun that is, like ever?

#I'm not ashamed to say it. I like Ninjago anime episodes. I just wish they didnt go with the yellow skintone... #ninjago #raine's rambles #I love this fandom so muuuuch..

[crazyk-imagine]

Finding their Mate

A/N: I had fun with the Twilight version of this and was in a tvd mood. Half of these I have no idea where these were going but we're here now so...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damon

Didn't think that mates existed but then again, here you are, surprising him in more ways than one and he's seen a lot of things. You tried talking to him about it at first after learning about your connection, but that didn't work. What else was he supposed to do other than run away and pretend like he was never informed of your connection, stay? No, no, no because, that is not the Damon way... at least, not until you threaten to use all his bourbon as a flame retardant to burn down their house. He slowly becomes a little more lenient in building a stronger bond. When you two get closer and become a couple, he never looks back because, you are his everything which means he will do whatever he can or needs to do in order to protect you because too much happens in this damned town

Stefan

He knew deep down that even though he loved Elena, it wasn't always going to last with the way it was between her and his brother. Even with their destiny tied them together; they never lasted. And to think his life was dramatic and chaotic then but now, you come into his life, almost as if out of nowhere was even crazier. Finding out that his epic love actually came from a place of fate, someone who could complete him and make him feel whole...was interesting, to say the least. He didn't know what to expect but he knew right away there was something special about you and always wanted to know more about you (before the whole mates' thing came about). After getting together, he realized he's more honored to be your mate and knows it's better than anything he's had before

Elena

She hoped that she'd find the one person she knew she was meant to be with because of watching how her parents were when she and Jeremy were growing up. They were her role models and wanted what they had. Finding out that she is actually meant to be with someone who wasn't Stefan was, shocking, really but it was also a good thing because this meant she could have a romantic life with you. She's always felt something for you which confused her more than anything but then Damon informed her about the whole mates' thing and concerned everyone when they had just found out about the sire bond. The only reason the older Salvatore told her was when he caught her staring at you for the millionth time, forcing her to understand more about you

Bonnie

She barely started understanding the supernatural world and finding out that mates existed was crazy as hell. Honestly, it was the last thing she needed to hear. But then you started putting in an effort, putting her first (compared to what her friends do), she realized that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have a mate. She was careful, guarded almost, at the beginning but your patience won in the end, and she knew you're the one for her. Everyone else (especially Caroline) was so happy that their friend found someone as awesome as you were; not to mention the fact that the blonde vampire is planning your guy's wedding already and is most definitely, going to fight whoever plans on being Bonnie's bridesmaid

Caroline

She never knew mates existed, always thought it was a fictional thing even with the whole supernatural world going on around her because no one really talked about it. She was the kind of girl who talked about having an epic love, but never realized she was talking about mates. Meeting you and then Bonnie telling her about the real reason behind your connection (and calming her mind, shutting down the thoughts of her being sired to you), she was excited. She finally had someone to spoil and someone who could take care of her. She offered to take you out, wanting to explain... everything since you know nothing and are being dragged into her hectic life. She will do everything she can to protect you

Tyler

The only reason he had an ounce of knowledge about mates was because of his wolf, had he not turned, he probably would have never found out and would have been whoring himself out to anyone he could (even more). But then you stepped foot into town, and it drove his wolf absolutely insane, to the point where he was starting fights with anyone. His wolf tried telling him, but it was hard for the boy to understand when he barely understood the supernatural world as it is. Then you found your way into his life and changed him, in more ways than one. He was lucky he didn't need to explain to much about the supernatural to you, but he still wasn't happy to know you were aware of, well, everything. It scared him, he doesn't want to lose you

Jeremy

When he became a vampire hunter, he didn't think he was going to be more than that and then when he died and came back, he wasn't all that pressed to talk to people and make friends. Then, you came, and things changed. He was working a shift at the grill when you walked in, and he was thought you were just- wow. Luckily you were seated in his section, giving him more opportunities to talk and try learning more about you. You caught the hints he was throwing and decided to throw him a bone, his number was immediately put in after picking up the bill. And, dammit if he hadn't texted you after his shift. He put in a genuine effort and found out you two were mates (who would have thought), certainly not you two

Alaric

He's been around for a while, knew a few things to help him get by and read a little bit about these things when he got into the supernatural world. So, he wasn't too alarmed when he found out he was mated to you but imagine his surprise when he finds out you also know about the supernatural and... actually know how to defend yourself, if needed. That man is floored, he thought he was going to need to show you a thing or two. What else would you expect from the guy who taught and helped all the kids learn about these things. (Don't even get him started on the time when Klaus had his body and knew before he did. He will go bonkers). He's not the happiest about others knowing about your bond but no one can keep their mouths shut anymore

#the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries imagine #the vampire diaries fanfic #the vampire diaries imagines #the vampire diaires fanfiction #the vampire diaries headcanon #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #bonnie bennett #caroline forbes #elena gilbert #jeremy gilbert #tyler lockwood #alaric saltzman #crazyk-imagine

[leportraitducadavre]

Let's get something out of the way, the "Sasuke as a medic" AU has nothing to do with Tsunade being more "suited" to mentor him; there's nothing she can teach him that he'd find useful in his quest (why would he, who has an enormous amount of chakra at his disposal, need to learn to delicately control his energy as Sakura canonically needs to as her chakra pool is small?), nor helpful. Tsunade would never even consider taking him out of the front lines to use him as a medic either, as doing so would be a waste of his immense power and capabilities in the field.

No. This AU isn't about Sasuke, it's about Sakura and how her stans want to disguise their ultimate desire for her to have more jutsus at her disposal than what Tsunade taught her.

Hate to break it to you, but being the student of a powerful ninja doesn't mean copy-pasting the abilities of the mentor down to the disciple. What they learn has all to do with their personal capabilities, desires, and natural strength. Naruto, while he used mostly his teacher's jutsu, quickly outgrew his teachings by taking the Rasengan further than his father and Jiraiya, Sasuke surpassed both Orochimaru and Kakashi, as Kabuto did with the Sannin by the end of the series.

Orochimaru knowing kenjutsu doesn't translate to Sakura being able to be even remotely good at it. Her "agility" (which isn't even canon as there's no mention of medics being agile, rather them staying away from danger) has to do with her being a medic-nin, and I'll reiterate, Orochimaru isn't a medic in a similar manner Tsunade is, that one is Kabuto. Why would Orochimaru take Sakura with him when Kabuto, a 19-year-old, devised a technique like Tsunade's without even meeting her before fighting her?

Sakura copy-pasted the techniques taught to her, she improved them in no manner:

Do you see where I'm going with this? Kabuto even has a larger pool of chakra as he was able to learn Senjutsu mode which Sakura will never be able to do (Tsunade and Sakura having a small chakra pool is the whole reason why the Yin Seal -that actually uses Yang, as that's the only chakra nature Tsunade possesses even exists).

Kabuto knew medical ninjutsu outside of Orochimaru's teachings as those were the reasons Orochimaru sought him out, the Sannin even admitted to looking for extraordinarily talented people to take "under his wing", and at no moment he even looked in Sakura's direction (I implore you to read yourself the whole Orochimaru vs. Team 7 fight, from Chapter 46 to Chapter 49, and tell me how many times Orochimaru even glances at Sakura's direction. He knows both Naruto and Sasuke's names, yet never mentions Sakura's).

I don't even understand why "being an expert at Genjutsu" has her fandom in such a chokehold, normal genjutsu became almost obsolete when the Sharingan (Yin Release at its finest) was introduced and the more the story unfolded the fewer regular genjutsu experts, of the likes of Kurenai or Shee, were introduced, as the strongest characters either used kekkei genkai genjutsu (which can't be broken by a single person as the chakra needs to be disturbed by someone else) or ninjutsu/taijutsu skills. Regular genjutsu can be broken by the target if they realize a genjutsu has been casted, it's mostly used as a quick diversion for an attack or to escape, and most ninja have that tool at their disposal.

[And if you think Sakura would be able to pull off a Genjutsu like Shee does and attack with the speed at which A attacked Jügo you're out of your mind, she used not a single remarkable genjutsu in the whole manga, having Sasuke do that for her during FoD and dispersed a single basic one. She fell for Kakashi's genjutsu on the bell test, had to wait for Sasuke's reassurance that an illusion was in place in the chünin exams, fell for Orochimaru's own genjutsu in FoD, and was fooled by a henge twice in the same chapter and once by non-other than Naruto who pretended to be Sasuke. She had four encounters with the genjutsu technique, and three out of the four times she fell for it and still, some of you still hold Kakashi's words as "proof of her wasted potential" when he's the same man who couldn't care less if she dropped out of the exam.]

And as a quick addition, why is Mokuton!Sakura so insanely popular? Her having Earth and Water releases (Ino also has those nature releases, what's your point?) means nothing as she'll need a huge amount of chakra (which she doesn't possess) and few ninjas are even capable of mixing the two.

While any ninja can learn to transform their chakra’s nature, and even transform it into different natures consecutively (which Sakura was never even shown to do as she only used her medical skills to fight), it is impossible for them to transform two at the same time.

And he could perform such a special jutsu because he was of a kekkei genkai bearing clan

Only those with the genetic abilities of these kekkei genkai have a chakra system capable of double-nature transformation.

Canonically, no one but Hashirama could naturally have such nature release (for god's sake, Naruto and Sasuke both have water and earth nature and they can't even use Mokuton!). Let me remind you the reason why Hashirama having Mokuton is so important thematically:

Mokuton is the expression of Yang (Life) at its finest; Yang Release uses chakra that is two parts physical energy and one part spiritual energy. It governs vitality and manipulates the body, breathing life into form to animate that which lacks life of its own, which is in direct opposition to the Sharingan that expresses Yin (creating form from nothing); Yin Release uses chakra that is two parts spiritual energy and one part physical energy. It governs imagination and manipulates the spirit, creating form from nothingness to give shape to that which has none (which is why the Sharingan is the ultimate expression of Genjutsu).

[Used Sasuke's chart to exemplify, as Madara has both Yin and Yang Releases as he modified his body using Hashirama's cells].

Yamato was experimented on by Orochimaru by using Hashirama's cells, so the only way Sakura could have such power is if she is experimented on by Orochimaru, and why on earth would he do that? Furthermore, Hashirama's cells would eat her alive in seconds, she couldn't handle a scratch amount of Kyuubi's chakra, how would she handle Hashirama's? This is the same man whose chakra was so vast and potent he healed himself unconsciously!

Sakura having delicate chakra control isn't a wild card you can use as you see fit to fulfill your fantasies, it means nothing outside her medical work. This notion that "Sakura has precise control of her chakra! That means she can learn any jutsu she wants!" is completely false.

First of all, Kakashi outright claims this idea of "no Jutsu should ever be beyond you," is "in theory, anyway." At no point does he say you'll be capable of learning chakra-draining ninjutsu with this skill alone as not a page after he claims this:

If you think this looks hard, it's even more difficult to maintain your chakra when using ninjutsu

Delicate chakra control in a portion of one's body (like fists when using Sakura's Cherry Blossom Impact) used to enhance one's strength (chakra enhancement is a feat used by every shinobi ever, like Lee and Gai themselves, albeit with different levels of expertise) isn't as chakra depleting as using Ninjutsu, which is why Sakura and Tsunade use it as their main fighting technique since they don't have a vast chakra pool as Hashirama had.

#anti sakura #anti sakura haruno #anti sakura fandom #anti sakura stans #anti medic au #anti medic sasuke #orochimaru #kabuto yakushi

[thefoggyforestcollective]

I do think the Endo community should actively stop painting everyone and every sub-group within the anti-endo/Endo critical/endo-neutrals movement with the same brush. There are different levels of harm each subgroup causes and pretending we all believe the same thing or go about syscourse the same way is exhausting.

There are plenty of smaller groups within these communities and I've honestly never seen an Endo acknowledge them or recognize that they are different with different beliefs. Not to mention, now that I think about it, "anti-endo" is a bit nebulous. Not in a literal sense but everyone you ask says something different and holds that view for different reasons. Anti-endos don't even all agree that they don't believe in endos and believing in endos is typically how it's defined. But back to the sub-groups, let's see there are;

Anti-endos that believe endos exist but dislike the community or common communal actions so they disapprove of it.

Anti-endos that don't believe in endogenic systemhood full stop

Anti endos who think endogenisism is a MUD or medically unrecognized disorder like Biid or munchousens by proxy

Anti-endos who were too harmed by the endogenic community and it's allowance of said harm to ever be ok with the community. They could believe they exist or not

Anti-endos who don't believe now but could believe later with sufficient and good evidence.

Anti-endos who think some endos exist but not to the extent shown.

Anti-endos who approve of some system origins and not others.

And so so much more. Why are all these people under the anti-endo umbrella? And! Why are terms like endo-critical, Endo neutral (even those who don't have an opinion, dont care or just don't personally feel comfortable around endos get lumped into the anti-endo label!!) often lumped in when they can mean so much on their own?? Endo-critical could just mean you don't like the bigger Endo community or that you don't believe certain aspects of what endos believe as a whole, not that you discredit the whole thing.

Endo-neutrals and those without opinions, don't care or arnt comfortable due to abuse truely get some of the worst of Endo anger. How are Endo neutrals harmful when they often acknowledge endos exist. How are they harmful when they say they don't have enough information or evidence to form an opinion. So just passively existing without interacting or explicitly supporting the Endo community is an act of aggression against it? That's fucking concerning.

I think part of it is that they are like white American Christians, they claim they are experiencing some sort of oppression and no body else believes them because they arnt. They see themselves (and by extension other "usually only online" identities like therians and other microlabels) as inherently oppressed because they are small, they think that have something similar to a very oppressed mental disorder, they have "antis" and they occationally experience misdirected ablesim because they are assumed to be disordered. It's really concerning when your personal view point sees everyone who doesn't support you as an enemy or a potential enemy.

Why? That's bigot rhetoric. Bigots don't like people who don't acknowledge them, arnt them or explicitly hate them. It's the very simple truth shared by so many forms of bigotry from racism to transphobia to sexism to xenophobia and so many others. Your not the same as me, you don't give me attention (support) and you don't like that im hurting these people therefore you are part of the enemy. That's how alot of fucking endos act. If your not Endogenic(traumagenic or singlet. They themselves constantly admit that they are wary of traumagenics aka the actually disabled due to their system folks) your immediately suspect. If you post system content or did content or anything even remotely system related but don't talk about endos/acknowledge endos or answer questions related to the Endo community or imply you support the Endo community, your suspect. If you are not actively anti-endo, you are suspect.

Of course all these things could make sense when we talk about actually oppressed groups. Disabled (did/Cdds) have every right to be uncomfortable around abled people (endos), It's suspicious for someone to be talking about different cultures and foods but only concerning white cultures and foods, if you arnt actively saying you don't like sexism or have somewhere stating you are a feminist, women might assume the worst of you. Endos, by virtue of not being an oppressed group and not inherently having a disability by virtue of their endogenisism, do not get to act and treat others like they are their oppressors. They do not get to be on guard because no one cares about them. They do not get the benefit of the doubt when they ask offensive questions. They do not have the right to pretend it is an oppression when it fucking isn't.

Its just another offensive part of that community and makes you look dramatic at best and at worst? Just another clear sign that you're pretending to have some form of disability (Cdds) without actually having it but dont want to openly lie about it. We all know your lieing and if your not? Get your shit together and get your ass in therapy so you can stop supporting pseudo science and start supporting your fellow systems in the actual system community.

It's not a shock that endo numbers decline when public visibility of did/Cdds peters out. They have record low numbers right now because it's been years since the public had some media or person with did be in the spotlight. It's not shocking that they suddenly stop talking about it and delete posts when they realize they are going to get ablesim from actual ableists and not just the actually disabled people calling them out. Your a fad. A trend. You can stop pointing to poc's cultures and practices now and offensively comparing them to you, white Endo. You can move along now.

All in all, anti-endo really doesn't mean anything and it gets thrown around with zero nuance or solid definition. Usually it means you don't believe in endos but if you do believe in them and don't like the community or don't think them and Cdds should have shared spaces or dont particularly care about them or don't talk about them or don't consider them oppressed or really just piss one of them off for unrelated reasons and happen to be traumagenic exclusively, your now a certified anti-endo. It's bullshit essentially lmao same as people who call all LGBT people groomers. It means nothing, it's a buzzword and it only matters to their other bigot friends.

So if someone calls you an anti-endo, regardless of if you actually are/identify as one, wear it with pride because it means fuck all other than you pissed off an ablesit.

#neo 🚬~ #millie 🎤~ #anti endo #anti endogenic #syscourse #endos dni #anti endos please interact #endos do not interact #ableists dni #no cdd no opinion