#and thinking about how that has impacted many of us who grew up in times when it wasn't even being legislated against because

[on-wednesdays-we-eat-the-rich]

So I'm having thoughts about LOTR. Specifically the ending. And the fanfiction that rewrites the ending. Bear with me.

So we all know that LOTR ends with Frodo leaving Middle Earth and going to the Undying Lands, right. And we all know that he does this because all the events of the story have had such an impact on him that they've left him quite traumatised and not really able to live life the way he used to. And we can probably all guess that this is a reflection of how Tolkien may have thought about his trauma after fighting in the First World War.

The ending makes sense considering the time the book was written, because in the 1940's and 50's, people didn't know as much about mental health and disability as they do now, and there weren't as many ways to help people manage disabilities other than institutionalising them or like. Giving them cocaine or something idk. So it's reasonable to assume that because Tolkien didn't see many ways that people could live with disabilities and be happy, he couldn't write them into LOTR and instead basically just put Frodo in Middle Earth's equivalent of Heaven and said "there you go, you're all better now".

I like this as a sort of tragic ending. I mean, you can't deny that someone being so drastically changed by an experience means they can't enjoy the things they grew up with is pretty tragic. The ending does make sense. But I kind of hate it.

I don't think it was written badly or anything, and I'm not trying to dismiss Tolkien's experiences that influenced this ending. My issue with it is that, when you look at it through a modern lens, it has vaguely ableist connotations. Specifically the idea that disabled people (Frodo) can't live full lives and be happy in the real world (Middle Earth) and can therefore only be happy when they're "cured" or when they die and go to Heaven (the Undying Lands).

Now obviously LOTR is an old book and it's important to consider the time it was created when analysing it, as you would do with any other piece of classic literature. A lot of old books have some outdated language and concepts in them, simply because that was normal back then. And until very recently, we probably wouldn't have thought the ending of LOTR was in any way problematic. And it might not have been, because it's not really the fact that Tolkien wrote that ending that's an issue; it's the fact that the way the world worked back then made it near impossible to even think about any other ending.

Since the book was written, though, there have been a lot of advancements in science and research into disabilities, and there are now much more effective ways to treat and manage them. There's medication and therapy for physical and mental issues, and there are lots of accommodations that we can and should put in place to make life easier for everyone. Back in the 1940's, Tolkien wouldn't have had these things, and therefore didn't consider them to be options when writing about what happens to Frodo at the end of the story. But now, we do have them, and it's this progress that has discredited the idea that disabled people can't be happy in the real world, and subsequently made LOTR's ending seem outdated by today's standards.

Now this is where the fanfiction comes in.

LOTR readers these days, who are aware of the progress we've made as a society and the new ways people view and treat minorities, often write fanfiction that puts things into Tolkien's universe that wouldn't have otherwise been there because of when the books were written, from openly queer characters to characters living good, happy lives with disabilities. And I think this is a good thing and it's really nice to see, especially in regards to Frodo's disability. I like seeing people work out how he might accommodate himself in the world of Middle Earth, and how the other characters would help him with that. I like that sometimes people have to get creative when figuring out how he would cope with trauma and chronic pain, because obviously Middle Earth doesn't have a lot of the things we have in the real world.

I like that we can finally give Frodo a chance to recover in a more realistic way than just sending him to the afterlife. I like that we can finally allow him to live.

A lot of Tolkien purists complain about new adaptations and fanfiction because "it's not what Tolkien wrote so he wouldn't like it". First of all, why do we still care about the opinions of a man who's been dead for over fifty years? What are you going to do, summon his ghost to haunt all the fanfic writers? Hold a seance to find out exactly what he thinks? Good luck with that.

Second of all, I honestly believe this is something he would approve of. He went on living after the First World War, but he didn't get to live with the disability accommodations we have today. And because he didn't, neither did Frodo. We can't give Tolkien the life many disabled people have now, but we can give it to his tragic hero. We can make his story a little less tragic. And if Tolkien was here now, of all the tropes we're using in LOTR fanfiction, it wouldn't surprise me if "Frodo stays in the Shire" is one he could get behind.

#lord of the rings #lotr #frodo baggins #tolkien #disability #disability in media #disability in fiction #fanfiction #i'm back on my essay-writing bullshit #this just came to me like five minutes ago and i wrote this instead of doing what i should be doing which is showering #so that's fun #just articulating my thoughts over here don't mind me

[notaplaceofhonour]

I was raised in the People of Destiny cult (later renamed, and more well-known as, Sovereign Grace Ministries, now Sovereign Grace Churches).

The valorization of martyrdom and The End Times was so ubiquitous it was ambient noise. We stood in the church lobby theorizing about who the antichrist would be, we argued about whether Jesus would rapture us all before, after, or during the Tribulation Period where Satan would be given free reign over the earth. There was a strong Christian Zionist fixation on Israel as the final battleground and capital of the coming Messianic Age. But the one thing we were all certain of was is that we were in the End Times, that we were not of this world and couldn’t get too attached to our lives here.

We were raised to believe our sin nature made us undeserving of life, that we deserved death and eternal conscious torture.

My parents read us the Jesus Freaks books (a series by Christian Rap group DC Talk about martyrs). I spent “devotional time” reading Fox’s Book of Martyrs. We had guest speakers from Voice of the Martyrs, their pamphlets were often stocked in our church’s information center. We grew up with our dad listening to right wing talk radio and making us listen to songs about how the Godless atheists were outlawing Christianity in America, that we could all become martyrs soon.

The group’s theology was damaging & traumatic in a lot of other ways that contributed to the suicidality I have continued to struggle with for the rest of my life. For a long time I did not believe I would live past 20. There are times when the idea of giving my death meaning by using public suicide to make a political statement has appealed to me.

So now, seeing so many social media posts glorifying the suicide of a US Airman this week, I have been furious. Reading his social media posts, I recognize so much about the way I was raised in his all-or-nothing, black-or-white mindset, the valorization of death-seeking & martyrdom, and the apocalyptic fire-and-brimstone imagery of self-immolation. The moment I saw people I followed celebrating his self-immolation, I said to myself “this feels like a cult”

So when I learned he was raised in a cult too, nothing could have made more sense to me. His political orientation may have changed, but his mindset did not—it was no less extreme or cult-like.

I’ve talked about so many of the reasons this response from the broader left scares me, including how it’s laundering that airman’s antisemitic beliefs, but I cannot think of anything that would hit me in a more personal place than this specific response to this specific situation has.

When I see the images, I think: that could have been me. That scares me, and what scares me more is that so many prominent people are overwhelmingly sending the message to people like me that there is nothing else we can do that would have a more meaningful impact than killing ourselves for the cause.

I do not believe that. I will not even entertain it. And having to see his death over and over and over again, to argue against people who are treating this like an intellectual/moral exercise or a valid debate we all have to consider has been immensely triggering and fills me with a rage I rarely feel. It’s unconscionable that we are even putting self-harm on the table, and that pushing back against that is somehow controversial.

There is hope. Our lives do have meaning. There are far more effective means of fighting injustice. And the world is a better place for having you in it. Don’t fall into believing this is a way to give life purpose.

#he was raised in a different cult than me but there is significant overlap in the Community of Jesus & People of Destiny worldviews #EDIT: I originally said the Tribulations were ‘7 1/2’ years but this was me confusing the ‘a time times & half a time’ from Daniel #with the idea of a 7 year tribulation #it’s been forever and a lifetime since I lived in that world so the exact theological details can be hazy #death cult shit #extremely traumatic content #i/p #cw suicide #religious trauma #cw trauma #antisemitism #pdi international #people of destiny cult #sgm cult #sovereign grace cult #christian cult #cult survivor #death cult #evangelical ​apocalypticism #exvangelical

[trivia-yandere]

Hello! I was wondering If I could request? Yandere bts whoever you choose, where their darling has never cum before, experiencing it for the first time with them and overstimulation, getting dumb off of dick 🥰

yes we can! it wouldn't be us if we didn't add at least a little yandere to it

two sentence horror story

it's been nearly five years since you last saw seokjin... @sweetempathprunetree @darkuni63 @momnomnom @chimmy-licious

halloween masterlist

word count: 2.309

warning: dirty talk, humiliation kink, slight sadism, restraint, bound/gagged, pussy slapping, possessive/jealous seokjin, oral (f receiving), spitting, edging, yandere/dark themes, fingering, squirting,

it's been nearly five years since you last saw seokjin.

Seokjin likes to think that he’s graced you with his presence. That you are lucky to have him - lucky to have someone so successful, handsome and rich. You were lucky to be his girl, someone who he spoiled with nice clothing and jewelry. He took you on expensively lavish vacations and dates. You ate only the finest food and drank the best wine the world has to offer. You didn’t even have to work, not while you were his girl and he had it - because that meant that you also had it.

But you did work, much to Seokjin’s dismay. You were a woman that didn’t need him to be dependent, no matter how many times he would place his credit card in your hands, you only ever used it on useless things such as gas for your car - the same car he wishes you’d get rid of all together. It wasn’t luxurious and it didn’t fit the look for someone like you - his girl.

Seokjin didn’t appreciate your lack of respect for him. Your refusal to quit your job, stating that you worked hard to get where you were at. So what? Thousands of girls would drop everything to be beside him like you were, and yet everything he did never appeared good enough for you. You didn’t need him like other women would’ve - and that is what upsets him. There was no control over you. You had your own money, car, home - what was he truly useful for if you didn’t need him for anything?

Seokjin had been lenient with you. Even as the months passed and the relationship grew, he had yet to bed you. He learned that you had little experience during one tipsy conversation and that’s all he needed to know to understand now. You couldn’t submit because there was never a reason to - no other man gave you what he could. You wouldn’t submit to a man that couldn’t even make you cum - how comical. 

“J-Jin…”

Seokjin hums, head snapping to your direction. You were always so beautiful to him. You didn’t have to try hard to catch his attention. Your glow was as bright as the sun, radiating off of you heavenly.

Seokjin could say he was a bit of a sadist. It’s another reason why he isn’t quick to bed you - you couldn’t handle then what he had it store for you now. He marvels at your oiled, naked skin, arms wrapped tightly behind you while your legs are spread apart widely, ankles tied beneath the bed post. 

“Remember how you told me you never came before?” Seokjin questions, learning against the bed frame to look down upon you. “That ex boyfriend of yours only cared about pleasuring himself, huh?”

Seokjin notes how you’re confused, wondering why he’s bringing this up now out of all times. 

“I saw you talking to him. It must be awkward working with an ex.” Seokjin’s tone is dangerously calm as he speaks, eyes glaring holes into your face for a reaction. “Is that why you don’t want to quit?”

You’re taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor. “I have to talk to him. He’s my coworker.”

Wrong.

Seokjin slaps his hand against your bare pussy harshly. You jump at the impact, eyes widening. “J-Jin-”

Seokjin slaps you again, and again. Each slap is harder than the last. You don’t notice the moans coming between your lips and just how wet you were becoming. Shivers erupt through your skin and it feels taboo just feeling this way; getting pleasure deprived from pain. 

“You’re soaked.” Jin chuckles, fingertips ghosting across your bulging clit. “I don’t believe you.”

You knit your brows in frustration - both sexual and irritable. 

“You and him had dinner.” 

The prints of Seokjin’s fingers place themself firmly against your clit. He rubs in slow, taunting circles.

“I-I…what?” You moan, hips buckling, arms squirming in the restraints. You’re unsure why you allowed him to have you in such a position. It was brought up randomly when you had come to his home and you’d admit that you were curious. 

“I-I…what?” Seokjin mocks, rubbing along your clit more roughly. “You aren’t a dumb bitch, Y/N. You know what I’m speaking of.”

Seokjin never spoke to you like this, but it was hard being upset when he was pleasuring while doing so. You bit your lip to suppress a moan. 

“A work dinner.” You pant, recollecting the only time you had seen the man outside working hours. “You followed me?”

Of course he had. Seokjin scoffs. You were his girl after all - someone he has graced his presence for. He allowed you into spaces other people could only dream of being in. 

“Have you ever been eaten out?” The question catches you off guard and causes you to grow hot with embarrassment. 

Seokjin hums upon your head shake and now he grows hungry, mouth salivating at the thought of tasting you. 

“Though you do not deserve it,” Seokjin lowers himself between your legs, eyes set right on your wet clit. You squirm once more, humiliated by him being so close to you. “I’ll just have a little taste.”

“Jin- oh!” your words are caught in your throat when you feel him - his tongue wet and warm against your clit. It flickers back and forth at a steady pace.

As for Jin, his nose touches the top of your clit as he dives deeper to have a taste of you. Having complete control over you is an added bonus while getting the chance to finally taste you. His tongue laps between your folds as your thighs quiver.

You gasp when Jin leans back to spit, then suckle onto your clit once more. He looks up, eyes watching the way your head falls back as you continue to moan.

“I-I think I’m gonna-”

“No.” Jin pulls back, lifting himself up and away from your clit. You shivered, feeling your high come crumbling down to a disappointing halt. “What do you two talk about?”

You swallow thickly, eyes flickering open. You’re panting as you speak. “N-Nothing but work.”

“Why don’t I believe you?” Jin tilts his head. His fingers are dangerously close to your clit once more. “There has to be a reason why you keep going back to work.”

You want to scream that it’s because it’s your job and you need it, but your mouth is shut. Jin fingers enter you swiftly and now he’s pumping inside of you. “You’re so wet that I was able to slide right in.”

Your walls clench around his fingers selfishly, wanting more and more. The pleasure is one you have not felt in a while - and even then it wasn’t like Seokjin’s. Your juices are coating his bedsheets, but he doesn’t care. The sight of you is utterly filthy and worth it.

“You’re going back to see him.” Seokjin’s thumb rests upon your clit as he pumps, rubbing in circles. 

Your eyes are clenched shut and your moaning increases. “Does it feel good, Y/N?” Jin teases - he knows it does. 

“Y-Yes!” you sigh. “So good.”

Jin removes his fingers from inside of you and slaps your clit harshly. You scream, tears lining your eyes. Your high once again came down, disappointed at the lack of pleasure.

“Why should you deserve to feel good?” Jin questions, his tone dark. “It’s not like you deserve it.”

Your eyes blink a few times to look at Jin. He appears serious, waiting for you to respond to him. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” you murmur to him, hands clenching in the restraints. 

Seokjin scoffs. “I want you to tell me why I should let you cum?”

You swallow. “You were the one that wanted to make me cum.” you hiss. You were growing frustrated with the man. He was hell bent on showing you how pleasurable sex could be and not one-sided - but now all it appeared to be was him questioning you about an ex you cared little about.

“Aw, feisty.” Jin cackles.

“If this is what you meant then maybe I could go to my ex.”

Your ears are ringing seconds after you snap at Seokjin, your cheek stinging. The room is eerily silent.

“You…” Seokjin’s tone is deep. The deepest you’ve ever heard it become. 

“Jin-”

Another slap across your cheek, and then another. You don’t manage to speak before Seokjin hovering above you onto the bed.

Seokjin pulls off his pants, underwear going right along with it. He has been lenient enough but your words angered him. To say such a thing to him when he’s allowed you to do what you wanted the entirety of the relationship was a slap to the face.

“I wanted our first time to be enjoyable.” Seokjin says. He spits at your clit once more - not because he needed to. No, you were wet enough, but because spitting on you was what he liked doing to show that you were his - he likes to say it’s a way to mark his territory. 

“Seokjin.” you attempt, but you’re squirming upon feeling the tip of his cock rubbing against your clit. 

“If you cum along the way, that’s great for you.” Jin murmurs, cock now at your hole. He’s entering you slowly.

You widen your eyes at his words. Where was he going with this?

Jin snaps his hips inside of you. You scream out at the sudden impact. He removes himself just to do it again - this time grinding so deep that you swear you could feel him in your stomach.

Jin’s left hand grips your thighs while his right clamps down onto your mouth and just beneath your nose. Your eyes bulge at the sensation of him fucking you. He had no mercy, snapping his hips so roughly that the bedframe slams against the wall behind you.

“And to think I was going to let you keep that little job.” Jin chuckles and shakes his head. There’s already a white ring around his cock. “You’re creaming, baby. You’ve never been fucked this good, huh?”

Your throat groans a response, unable to do a proper one. Your eyes are rolling now, stomach churning. Your walls are clenching around him, suching him in for more.

“But after what you’ve said,” Seokjin pries your mouth open, entering his fingers inside. Your tongue swirls around this, tasting your juices. “I’ll never allow you out of here.”

Your mind isn’t registering his words - after all, you assume this was just roleplay. Men were into weird stuff. Instead you were busy groaning beneath him, toes curling. There’s drool dripping out of your mouth and down Seokjin’s wrist, but he doesn’t go to remove himself inside of you.

“Look at you!” Jin laughs, snapping his hips harder. “Cock drunk. You don’t even know what I’m saying.”

“P-Please let m-me cum!” you gurgle out. You could feel the familiar high bubbling once more, this time even more intense then the last two, 

“Why should I?” Jin removes his fingers from your mouth to cup your cheeks roughly. He was still pissed - and rightfully so. He was already upset that you were a whore enough to have dinner with your edx (colleague or not) and now you were begging him to have you cum?

“Please, Jin!” you feel hot tears pour from your eyes, so far gone that you don’t even realize that you’re crying from pure pleasure. 

Jin’s nails dig into your cheeks so deep that he notices that they begin to draw a pinch of blood. He growls low, feeling his own high coming.

Jin spits on you once more before capturing your lips in his, allowing a few more sloppy thrusts before he’s about to cum. He removes himself from you, cumming right onto your twitching clit, admiring how his cum drips off of you.

“I’ll let you cum, whore.” Jin murmurs, allowing four fingers inside of you now. The stretch causes you to scream once more, but he doesn’t care. He’s pumping inside of you without a care. 

You should be upset. You were being degraded and called out your name - you had spit running down your face. But you weren’t. You were far gone from your sanity, and the only thing you wanted now was to cum like he promised. 

“You don’t understand me now, Y/N.” Jin murmurs to you, eyes fixed on your soaking pussy. “But you’re not leaving. In due time you'll understand.”

“I-I’m cumming…!” you bite your lips, eyebrows knitting. 

Seokjin chuckles darkly, free hand going to rub your clit to bring you closer to your high. He feels you clench around his even tighter, head falling back against the headboard. 

Your juices squirt out, soaking him in the chest. It’s long and accompanied by a low shout.

Your breathing slows as your body twitches. You were feeling exhausted.

“Can you take these off?” you murmur after a few minutes of trying to compose yourself. 

Upon not hearing a response, your eyes blink open to find Seokjin.

“W-What-”

Your eyes are burning and now you’re screaming at the top of your legs. You pull at your arms to shield your eyes, but you are unable to. Your head thrashes back and forth in an attempt to get away.

“Now you can’t work if you can’t see.” Seokjin says in between your screams. “If you can’t see, then there’s no one else to look at.”

You’re crying, but even then it hurts. Your vision is blurred until it goes completely black.

“Now I can take care of you like I intended in the beginning.” Seokjin’s voice is now calm - peaceful. The one you recalled since becoming entangled with him. “Behave, or I’ll have to hurt you again. And I don’t want to do that, Y/N. I love you.”

it's been nearly five years since you last saw seokjin.

He reminds you every day that if you misbehave, he'll take your hearing next.

#trivia-yandere #bts smut #btswritingcafe #bangtan smut #bangtanwriters net #bangtanwritershq #btswriterscollective #btswritersclub #yandere bts #yandere jin #yandere seokjin #seokjin x reader #two sentence horror story #two sentence stories #trivia-yandere halloween masterlist

[elipri]

My maybe unpopular opinion is that Damian and Anyas dynamic shouldn't change in significant ways until Anya actually views Damian as a genuine friend and not a shiny prize. Because at this point her motivation isn't exactly better than all the other girls' and Damian can probably sense that, it's just that he can't figure out her why.

This post is based on a pretty interesting discussion in a DA server I'm in where some fellow fans have criticized Endo's writing, mainly because there wasn't as much impact after the bus arc as people expected (which is ofc valid crit). I just want to share what I wrote:

Late to the whole convo, but I lightly disagree that the da dynamic didn't change *at all*, however it does seem as though there wasn't as much impact from the bus arc as hoped. However, we did get some subtle shifts that should be noteworthy, namely Damian actually getting jealous and shivering at the mere *thought* of Anya getting "stolen" from him. This has never happened prior to the bus arc and is now a recurring development. That and Becky now teasing Damian in addition to cheering on Anya, especially when comparing her very open hostility towards him earlier in the story. Not only is she friendly to him now, it seems like she has seen through his crush too. I don't think that Endo will change the dynamics too much anytime soon, especially because of how little time has passed in the sxf universe. Keep in mind that damian doesn't really have a proper role model who actively helps him unlearn the toxic mindset he quite literally grew up with; the closest he'd get is his mother wishing for him to be friends with Anya too, but that is only something he heard from Jeeves and not Melinda herself. But he definitely was reflecting on that in the cake chapter. I also think that Damian is in his "I'm too grown-up for this kiddie shit" phase, he probably thinks he's better than *everyone else*, not just Anya (like him scoffing at Bill). He really doesn't want to dance with anyone and is just annoyed with all this attention imo. But he's also jealous and doesn't want Anya to dance with anyone else, but ofc won't actually admit that because he's a brat. He's just a kid with many Big Feelings™ going on that he doesn't understand and doesn't even get the privacy to unpack, so ofc he's lashing out and acting even worse than usual. I wouldn't be surprised if he just runs away in the next chapter because he's just so fed up with everything and everyone. I feel like us fans keep forgetting that Damians boundaries are straight up being pushed if not disrespected, he's been saying multiple times that he doesn't want to dance and literally everyone is ignoring him as a person with feelings (except his friends who probs set the competition up in order to reject everyone on his behalf) Nobody but his two best friends actually care about his feelings on this whole matter, he's just a shiny prize to everyone else *including* Anya.

Anyway I think Endo is saving the big dynamic change for something far more significant such as the telepathy reveal 👀

#sxf spoilers #sxf speculation #damianya #sxf manga spoilers

[liesmyth]

would you be able to give examples/explain more about how race only impacts gideon in the tlt-universe? not being facetious or condescending, genuinely asking. thank you!

Hi anon! If you mean my tags to this post, I wrote

#earth conception of race doesn't impact any character in the series except the canonically brown main antagonist

By which I mean my Worstie and main antagonist of the series, John Gaius (PhD).

I don’t think TLT as a series engages with race in any especially meaningful ways. It’s set in a post-Earth society with entirely different social norms, and there’s no concept of race and ethnicity within the population of the Nine Houses. Physical descriptions of the characters are scarce to say the least, and they rarely spell out the kind of features that suggest specific racial connotations, because the POV characters don’t seem to think it’s something worth remarking upon. iirc, it takes until halfway through HtN for the narrative to confirm that Harrow has brown skin.

[See also Tamsyn’s GtN characters description post. It quotes passages from the book, and you can see how minimal the descriptions are, and she repeats several times that her characters’ appearances are up to the readers’ interpretations. It just doesn’t seem to be a big concern of hers]

Then there’s John, who grew up in twenty-first-century New Zealand and IS explicitly Māori in a way that absolutely impacted his character arc. It's not A major theme of his Nona chapters, but it’s there if you read between the lines. The boarding school he went to, which IRL had a high percentage of low-income Māori students on scholarship. The depth of his climate anxiety, his uncompromising “Nobody left behind” stance before the cryo project was halted, and his fervent hatred of ‘the trillionaires’ afterwards... these are all informed to some extent by his background as an indigenous man imo, and so was the global reaction to his developing powers. The “We were going to put you fellas in jail, weren’t we?” the way his initial attempts at publications are all flat-out ignored by the scientific community and dismissed as culty gimmicky faith healing until he leans into it.

John being Māori is just one of the many pieces of his backstory, and far from the most impactful to what eventually went down, but my point remains that he is the ONLY character in TLT whose racial background 1) affects his story arc and 2) is relatable to the audience. Everyone else is ten thousand years removed from Earth, and I’m just not very interested in using racial identifiers when exploring these characters and their dynamics, because the characters themselves don’t care and neither does the narrative.

#on a more hashtag meta level #John is why I’m personally uneasy about any analysis of the series that tries to interpret TLT through racial allegory lenses #especially when it’s weaponised for discourse purposes #You can write meta about John’s war crimes without comparing him to white imperialism #Or you can go ahead and do that anyway but I highkey disagree that it’s a fitting metaphor or in any way deliberate on Tamsyn’s part #and I think the implications are unfortunate to say the least #That said I AM extremely interested in the ways John relates to the culture he left behind #and why he made the choices he did when it came the moment to reshape humanity’s cultural consciousness after the Resurrection #but that’s on a character level! #I don’t think we can apply twenty-first-century social / identity labels to the series as a whole #especially a series where the author says 'I imagine X character as Y but it doesn't raelly matter' #and it doesn't influence the canon directly in any way #SORRY THIS IS LONG! #anonymous #ask #ejg #tlt thoughts #elle tlt posting #tlt

[kanansdume]

I have SO MANY feelings about Kanan, Zeb, and Rex all being some of the last few survivors of dying cultures.

Even though the Jedi can pass on their teachings and there will always be more Force sensitive people in the galaxy, the specific culture of the Prequels Jedi that Kanan grew up with will never completely come back. Jedi like Ezra and Luke will share a lot of similarities, obviously, especially philosophically, but their way of life and traditions will look VERY different, as will whatever ends up evolving from them (and from Rey if we include the Sequels).

Similarly, Zeb finds the Lasat on Lira San, but those Lasat will presumably have a VERY different culture than the one that existed on Lasan. The two groups of Lasat have been separated for so long that Lira San has become legend and is thought to not really exist and even the people who believe it exists don't realize what it actually is and that there are other Lasat on there. This implies that it's been an EXTREMELY long time since the Lasat of Lasan originally left Lira San and the two groups have probably diverged quite a bit. Lira San itself is also just not going to feel like Lasan, it won't have the same landscapes or wildlife, the cities will be different. The language might even have some significant differences that the last three Lasan survivors would have to navigate. And there's no getting back that culture from Lasan, it's gone. There's only three known survivors and they're going to end up just... engulfed into the Lira San culture without a lot of ability to pass on what they remember from Lasan. Lasan might end up like... a chapter in a Lira San history text and that's probably it. The nuances of its culture will be lost completely.

And the clones. The clones are just going to completely disappear. People will likely only remember the clones even existed because the war got named after them. All they'll be remembered FOR is violence and death. Depending on who is talking about them, they'll either be the traitors who destroyed the Jedi and allowed the Empire to reign, or the poor pawns that the Empire used to destroy the Jedi and keep the galaxy under its thumb. Who they were will be completely and utterly lost. And there's no way for them to continue in any form. While it's POSSIBLE that a few of them might have sired children out in the galaxy somewhere, we never have any confirmation of that, and nearly all of them are dead by the time the Empire falls. Their friendship with the Jedi, what little culture they were able to develop, all of that is lost to time and will disappear once the final clone dies.

It's such a horrific thing that is happening to these three characters, a slow dying out that that's literally happening in front of their very eyes. It's the worst kind of connection between the three of them, but something that's probably really important in their various relationships. No one else understands this grief the way they do, no one else quite understands how this feels, the helplessness and hopelessness. There's absolutely nothing they can do but try to keep going and remember their people as best they can and live according to the culture the Empire has tried to eradicate.

I like to think the three of them end up discussing it one day, maybe one Empire Day they all just decide to go drinking and be maudlin together. And Kanan ends up talking about how the Jedi believed that there was no death, there was the Force. Everyone who dies rejoins the Force, so even if they're gone they're still impacting the galaxy and the people living in it, regardless of whether those who remain can feel them or not. Maybe you get a burst of inspiration or have a lucky break or meet someone you instantly click with, and maybe that's the people who've left before you still touching your life through the Force, binding you together no matter what. Zeb and Rex really connect to this belief and end up finding comfort and even a little healing in it.

#star wars #kanan jarrus #caleb dume #captain rex #garazeb orrelios #jedi #clones #clone troopers #lasat #lasan #lira san #prequels jedi #pro jedi #tw genocide

[suzannahnatters]

A hot take for you this morning:

The conviction has been growing upon me for several years that whole segments of Western media are steadily losing the ability to write for & about women. Female characters, female-led stories, and romantic literacy are all getting worse.

I grew up largely free of TV/movies, and for a long time prided myself on reading no book younger than 50 years old (yeah, I was insufferable). I've since sought to change that. That's why I believe I have the authority to say this: I see a really stark contrast between how it is now and how it used to be.

Compared to today, male authors like Shakespeare, Trollope, and even Tolkien had active empathy & respect for their female characters. They centred whole narratives around believable women. And they wrote unabashed romances.

That's largely gone now.

Compare western media to kdrama. Kdrama usually centres male protagonists in a way it doesn't centre female characters. But it also centres romance - HIGHLY sophisticated & detailed romance.

Watching kdrama cemented my suspicions, because it feels like the first storytelling I've found since the 1800s to treat romance with dignity and respect, & above all as something worthy of male attention. That is SO RARE these days.

I don't think something needs to get male attention in order to be worthy, but as any woman will tell you, if something DOESN'T get male attention, it's viewed as trivial and contemptible if its existence is noted at all.

It's true that more women than ever are writing stories about women, including romances. The problem is, this seems to have resulted in women's stories getting shoved into a ghetto; either YA or romance or the dreaded "chick flick"

As this genre divide developed between stories for men and stories for women, it seems like too many male storytellers took it as a license to care even less about writing for & about women.

Ahem, Popular Urban Fantasy Author Who Lists His Female Characters' Bust Size Without Fail.

Please note, I know many good and sincere men who want to do better. I see you and I'm so grateful for your efforts. But if you've mostly been reading "blokey" stories - and I know the appeal of stories about & for oneself - you haven't been given the tools you need.

The final straw seems to be the rise of vocal, self-consciously chauvinist online fandoms which rubbish media they see as being too feminine and loudly demand increasingly chauvinist storytelling. These people DO have an impact. Shows they bless get renewed season after season. Media they curse is lucky to survive. I mention no names. But we've all seen them shape public discourse.

What it all adds up to is this: if I want believable writing about women, in a lot of ways I'm better off reading a man from 1850 than a man from 2020. And that's pretty messed up.

How is this going to change? On a cultural level, I don't know. But I want to shout out to the fellow author who read my mixed review of his book, reached out to me for a detailed critique, and listened for an hour as I talked. You, sir, are one of the real ones.

#writing #kdrama #asian drama #writing romance #romance #female characters #male authors

[upagainstthesunset]

Adoption in Comics

Found family and adoption are big themes in comics. i see a lot of talk about found family, as i think that really hits home for a lot of the tumblr comics fandom and rightly so. So for this post im focusing on adoption, legal or otherwise. A guarding and ward relationship, which can be parent and child or looser terms.

Many of the most well known and beloved heroes were adopted or have adopted children of their own. It invites discussion of nature vs nurture, of dsymorphia, of choice. It can be a situation that's terrible, or it can be a salvation. It can be done for all the wrong reasons and lead to a disconnect of expectation vs reality. It can be full of love but still lead to missteps.

But before i go any further, a poll. Id like to get some background on the fandom here, so please consider reblogging.

Note for the poll: "Strangers" meaning someone who did not know your birth family prior to the adoption

I wish there were more poll options to also ask the adopted part of the fanbase if they are a different ethnicity from their adoptive family, as that usually has a huge impact on their experiences. For example, I'm Korean but my parents are white US Americans. I grew up in an area of some diversity but not a lot, in that all my closest friends were white and all of my extended family was white. And because of that, my ethnic heritage was something ive had to actively seek out and choose to make part of my identity. It also meant that i just plain did not look like my family or peers, and so stereotypes and assumptions (good and bad) have been put on me at times.

Economic status also plays a role. Im mostly pulling from past knowledge of adoption agencies, but it's not exactly inexpensive, and of course financial stability is one of the big things agencies look for. So it ends up being that a good chunk of adoptive parents are fairly well off, in the upper middle class range. And that in itself can be alienating. This wasnt my personal situation but I knew of others where it was.

I might need to make a series of posts about how all this pertains to comics. It could really be a Master's thesis topic. But for now I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on adoption in comics. What feelings do you have about it? Have you given it much thought? How do the socioeconomic statuses of the adoptive family inform the characters and their actions? Does race with respect to adopter/adoptee play a part in the dynamics of what's going on in the stories you read?

I of course have tons and tons of my own opinions on all this, but I genuinely would like to hear from others. This includes fans who arent adopted! Your readings and interpretations are valid on this subject too! Youre really the average reader, the main demographic. So it's interesting to hear opinions from that perspective as well. And if you are adopted and feel like sharing your thoughts on comics, please please do.

Oh! And one last thing, feel free to tag or list comics characters who are adopted or who have adopted someone. I'd be interested to see how many there really are!

#dc comics #adoption #clark kent #bruce wayne #<-tagging two of the big characters related to adoption #gottaknow #kateliftstheveil

[s4toryuu]

it’s okay — gojo satoru

two weeks after suguru’s death, you come home to to your apartment and to your surprise, your boyfriend.

notes: hurt and comfort, post jjk0, established relationship, angst, ooc!gojo (you’ll see), sorry in advance, based off when gege said gojo had many breakdowns after jjk0

just like everyone, when you first met satoru back when you were first years, he was insufferable. however, you being you, you concluded that it would only be common sense that his title of being the strongest made a not-so-positive impact on his psyche. so you were forgiving.

you secretly made it one of four years’ mission to get the one and only gojo satoru to open up and drop the cocky act. but even when amanai riko, the girl he grew fond of in your third year, was assassinated, he barely budged. he said he barely knew her. not to say he wasn’t phased by it, but every time it would come up he would find a way to lighten the mood like he always has.

this was when you confirmed your belief about his damaged psyche. when they were in okinawa, satoru had texted you and shoko about riko and how you would love her and how riko would love shoko and utahime. he told you about the beach and the aquarium, and later geto told you about how satoru stayed up all the nights to keep guard. he cared about amanai, so his reaction couldn’t have been completely truthful.

you two still weren’t the closest then, but you just couldn’t let it go. awkwardly a couple of weeks after the girl’s death, you approach satoru after you finished a quick duo mission. “goj—satoru,” you start, mistaking his family name. he looks to you from the vending machine. “you know, it’s okay to be sad about it.” your voice gets quieter from the bench you sat at.

“huh? about what?” gojo sits next to you, handing you your drink of choice. “oh. yeah, I know.” he opens his coke. “but ‘ya know. it is what it is—that brat is probably in a better place anyway.” he shrugged and sat limp beside you with his arm behind your back, resting on the wood.

“satoru, it’s okay.” he took a big inhale and you fiddled with the drink in your hand.

“did suguru send you or something? or you being sweet for something else?” he looked to the side through his glasses. “it’s nothing to me now. plus, I learned a lot from it anyway.”

then, a year later, he barely talked about it when suguru defected. you figured you just weren’t close enough. when you started dating a year after that, the first thing you talked to him about was how it was okay to be sad even if it meant being weak in his eyes.

however, in the next 9 years, you’ve never caught him being more than just quiet or reserved when he was feeling down. even then, it wasn’t complete because he was always making annoying remarks. so you set that mission aside to be ready if the time ever comes, but decided not to hold your breath.

sometime in that time frame, you slowly notice satoru letting his guard down to you more and more during challenging times. upsetting or sad times were extremely rare, but that just made you treasure and observe them more carefully. you think it’s just satoru maturing as well. you used to joke that satoru being genuinely really sad was just as rare as his six eyes and infinity combo.

most of the times were because of his (and yours, kinda) adopted son/little brother/student/nephew/beneficiary/“brat with crazy potential”/“the future” named fushiguro megumi not playing along to his antics. the worst was when the pre-teen lashed out at satoru for “acting too much like my dad.”

that was the first time you saw satoru genuinely upset. he had asked (interrogated) megumi about his new middle school, to which the angsty kid, stressed with the new environment, who wanted to be left alone, snapped. satoru has opened up to you that night.

two weeks ago, satoru killed his best friend. you were guarding inside the school, especially because of the new student. when you had heard the news, all you thought about was satoru. it had been almost ten years that you talked to suguru, and honestly while you couldn’t blame him for his crimes, it was hard to look at him the same.

the first week after that, satoru was perfectly normal. the start of the week after was the same, so you figured he might’ve not been as affected as you thought. however, you couldn’t accept that he was just okay with permanently losing his self-proclaimed “other half.”

so when you come home after a full day’s worth of errands and hear deep shaky breaths from your bathroom, you think you’re mistaken. that part of you you set aside shivered at the thought that you were correct; that satoru bottled these big feelings to release them alone.

“satoru?” you called softly before slipping off your shoes. the door to the bathroom was open. as you started your way towards it the faucet started running, followed by water splashing against a face you now studied as you leaned against the doorframe.

“hey! you’re home early!” satoru smiled at you, face wet. he made no effort to stop the droplets from running down his chin, to his neck, and eventually to his sweater.

“so are you, toru. is everything okay?” you shifted your weight and he turned the water off. you swear you felt your brain flex at you struggling to decide how to approach this.

you swear he was just crying. will you make him uncomfortable if you pry? no, you don’t want to pry anyway. he was forced to kill his best friend just less than two weeks ago. it had only been you, shoko and satoru since suguru had first defected, but despite the time, satoru had always talked to you about suguru coming back somehow.

“yep. yaga let me come home early. I might take him up on that break offer, honestly.” satoru watched himself in the mirror, smile slowly fading. you grab a towel from a cabinet and have your boyfriend face you.

“that’s good. your students won’t mind. they understand—we all understand.” gently, you reach up to dry his face. to your surprise, you got stuck just in front of his nose. he still had his infinity on. you waited for him to realize, as he zoned out looking down at you.

satoru sighed softly and he closed his eyes. “shit, sorry. I’m distracted.” he rubbed his forehead and you wiped his face.

“it’s okay.” you tiptoed to kiss his temple and he bent down to reach around your waist. you hugged for a good ten seconds, feeling his chin on your shoulder.

“wanna take a nap?” you asked in an almost whisper. satoru nodded on your shoulder. “I’ll wash up first.” satoru hums and lets you go. really, you just wanted to hug him. you weren’t tired at all, but knowing satoru he would only rest like this if you were there to encourage it.

you dressed in a matching crewneck and shorts and walked to satoru, who was already on the verge of sleep in your bed. usually, when he felt your weight on the mattress he would lay his arm out for you to lay against his chest. instead, satoru let you lay down and just hugged you from your side.

he closed his eyes and sighed. he called your name and you moved your arm to let him lay against you. “I’m just distracted. I’ll save that vacation for another time.” he said, seemingly out of nowhere.

“baby it’s a break, not a vacation. I think you should take it. I can stay home with you if you want—”

“it won’t do anything anyway.” your boyfriend snuggled into you and rubs his face under your shoulder. you two laid in silence and after a couple of beats you speak up.

“I miss him too y’know.” you say, just above a whisper. you adjusted to put your arm under his head and turn yourself to face him. he nods his face into your neck.

satoru breathes in deeply and holds it in his chest. he releases it shakily. he doesn’t inhale until a couple beats and then he holds it and shakily releases it again. you rest your chin on the crown of his head, met with the comforting scent of his haircare. you think of what to say next, but gave up to hold satoru tighter.

“he’s gone now. because of me.” satoru whispers. your heart shatters and you freeze. suddenly all the memories of you, shoko, satoru and suguru from high school flows into your brain. you couldn’t bring yourself to speak. you wrap your hand around his head to bring him closer—an attempt to somehow share this burden.

you feel satoru swallow and he sighs. his breathing gets deeper with each breath, and you notice them getting more hasty. your heart sank to your stomach.

“satoru…” you start. he curls into you, knees shifting up against your thigh and finally, the tension breaks.

satoru sobs. he hugs you tighter and you feel tears welling up in your own eyes.

your mind went blank. you knew there was nothing you could say to comfort your boyfriend. this was the first time you’ve seen him cry in thirteen years. you felt as if your heart was squeezed. satoru was sobbing against your neck and you wanted nothing but to at least take some of his pain.

you listened to satoru sob and you closed your eyes. you held him, hoping the pressure comforts him. it was difficult as he’s almost twice your size, but nothing else felt right.

you knew satoru wasn’t only referring to killing suguru two weeks ago. he had told you how he was too weak to plead his best friend ten years ago to stay—that the two of them could make this all right. that the two of them could’ve corrected the system. he believed he could’ve prevented everything if only he was strong enough to do something so mundane compared to his battles. why couldn’t he have just… spoke?

satoru’s sobs leveled off. he went back to hasty breathing. you felt his tears on your pillow now and shoulder, but you couldn’t care less. all you wanted was for satoru to stop carrying his pain alone.

you kiss the top of his head and your own tears start to flow. “it’s okay, satoru.”

after a moment he pulls away from you and sits up, looking down at his lap. you stared at his slumped shoulders and he tried to steady his breathing. you sat up too and scooted up to turn your body to face him.

you held your hand to his cheek. he looked at you and looked back down. “it’s okay.”

he let out a shaky breath and you wiped his tears. his face was warm to the touch. he started a word, but he sighed and shook his head. you leaned in and hugged him. it was more for you than for him.

to say this broke your heart was too much of an understatement. you wondered how many times he’d cried alone. just because he was pinned to be “the strongest.” the title leaked into his life outside of his power. for a second you hated the world. you hated everyone at the school; yaga, shoko, nanami… your head felt hot with rage at how they could let that happen— how they could let satoru bear so much alone.

satoru looks down when you pull away, hiding his face. your hands rest on his shoulders and you kiss the top of his head again. “it’s okay.”

he coughs twice. you get up to get him a glass of water and he finishes it in three gulps.

“do you want to talk about it?”

satoru swallows and sighs outward. “I had to review the report. And testify as a witness. Yaga came and they let me off easy.” you sit down at the edge of the bed to listen.

“I just—“ he stutters. “that’s it.” you’re glad he’s calmed down. he finally looks up at you, still struggling to hold eye contact. it must feel weird for him to cry in front of you. his eyes were wet and red, along with his nose. his brows furrowed and he looks down again.

“I’m really sorry you had to relive that. those higher ups don’t understand your relationship. but it’s okay to think about it once in a while—and mourn.” you tell him.

“yeah…I know, it’s just hard.” he sniffled.

“I know.” you sigh. you pat his head and he rests it on your shoulder. you hug him again. the two of you make your way back to your previous position laying down, and you flipped your pillow. satoru scoffs amusingly, after which you expected a clever remark to come but it doesn’t.

“could you…” he hesitates.

“yeah?”

“could you… stay tomorrow?” satoru huffs into your shoulder.

“of course.”

reblog to give gojo a hug :(

m.list

#𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺𝘶𝘶’𝘴 #gojo satoru #angst #hurt/comfort #fluff #geto suguru #jjk x reader #im brocken #my soul actually hurts #fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #jjk drabbles #not proofread (well)

[nick-nocturne]

Hello! I recently got into your content with Welcome home, and I scrolled on your blog for a bit. I saw that you have... some sort of rivalry/beef with matpat of the theorist channels, and I wanted to know your thoughts on his retirement. As someone who grew up watching his game theory videos, and having those game theory videos, particularly the fnaf theory videos, be the reason I was able to fit in and share common interests with my peers in middle and high school when the fnaf craze was still going strong? It was hard to hear your criticism of one of my beloved childhood figures. But you helped me realize that I had put matpat up on a pedestal because of his videos and because of my childhood nostalgia, and that I didn't need to do that. I do wonder if you think that matpat has gotten better, that he's not as bad or egotistical as he was before. There are many questions I would like to ask. But I'll stick with only one.

So, rivalry/beef/hatred or whatever feelings you hold towards matpat aside, how do you feel about matpat retiring from YouTube? Are you happy? Elated to see a rival or opponent gone? Or do you feel something else about seeing him leave the public sphere. I'd just like to know your opinion, considering your strong feelings on him before.

Thank you for your time, Mr. Nocturne.

An angel must've tapped you to ask this, considering how much I've been thinking about this lately. ::3 The majority of heat I've ever lobbed against MatPat in prior years can best be described as angst, a lot of it unwarranted. I've had issues with his business practices, his content practices, and a lot of his content approaches--but that never called for the kind of flippant sneering I used to exhibit towards him. I've had criticism of MatPat and can't say I saw Game Theory as favorably as I felt it could have been--and I wish I could tell myself from a few years ago to accept that feeling and chill, especially when I knew I still respected his passion, his dedication, and his impact. I feel really good about MatPat retiring and it's for exactly two reasons: he gets to leave on happy terms, on his own terms, after fulfilling a career of over a decade being a trailblazer on YouTube who legitimately has inspired hundreds, if not thousands, of people in a truly positive way; and he gets to pass his position to someone else and give them a chance at what is, for coverage in certain areas of art creation, the top of the mountain. I also thought while watching his goodbye video that he's clearly been thinking a ton about how he's done his work on YouTube, and the impact he's had through his methods, good and bad--I could hear it in his words and the nuances. He's been reflecting, that's for sure, and it informed the way he sat down to talk about the journey. I also felt a lot of resonating with things he said, and there were moments in that goodbye video that I truly understood him and know exactly how he feels. I felt I could have sat on that couch with him and had a conversation as a guy who gets it, because this many years on, I do get it. And while I don't have as much in common with MatPat as I do Jamie of Inside A Mind, or Jeff of Jeffiot, or Goose Boose, there's common ground he and I could talk very warmly over. Ultimately, I am happy he gets to leave in happiness, with what he's built in hands he trusts, and that he knows his first baby--Game Theory--is going to be safe. I wish him, very sincerely, so much happiness and all the fulfillment that opening his life and getting more time as a father, husband, and man will bring him.

[eretzyisrael]

 Opinion

By MICHAEL KAYE   Published: FEBRUARY 28, 2024 03:04 THE WRITER speaks at a marketing conference in New York City wearing a #EndJewHatred T-shirt.(photo credit: COURTESY MICHAEL KAYE)

It’s been almost five months since October 7, a day that completely changed the lives of more than 15 million Jews around the world. But the aftermath of the attack is still present, months later. In many ways, it feels as though this nightmare just happened, while at other moments, it’s hard to remember what life was like before that day of terror.

I am not fluent in Hebrew. I do not wear a kippah. I have almost 30 tattoos. I am not your stereotypical Jew, but I have become a proud Jewish activist. But October 7 changed me, as it did many others. Who I was before is someone I can never be again. I cannot be complicit or silent. I donate to the Anti-Defamation League; I speak at conferences wearing an #EndJewHatred T-shirt; I never leave home without Jewish-themed jewelry; and I use my social media platforms to discuss the rising antisemitism on college campuses across the United States and around the world.

As someone who was educated at a Jewish school and learned about the Holocaust, I am no stranger to antisemitism or the dangerous impact it can have. My earliest memories include being taught by my parents to be proud but quiet about my Judaism, having swastikas carved on my school playground, being immediately evacuated on September 11, and always leaving my Star of David at home when traveling. 

During my childhood and teenage years, I heard from and met many Holocaust survivors, including Elie Wiesel. I listened to their stories about how the world remained silent.

Today, it feels like the beginning of a second Holocaust. That is why I cannot remain silent.

A scary time to be Jewish

For this Jewish New Yorker, it’s a scary time to be Jewish. The American Jewish Committee’s State of Antisemitism in America report found that 93% of American Jews surveyed think antisemitism is a problem in the United States and 86% believe antisemitism in the country has increased over the past five years. 

In November, I attended the March for Israel in Washington. Around me were Jewish people from Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Richmond, San Diego, and Queens. A man from Brooklyn put tefillin (phylacteries) on me; it was the first time I had worn tefillin in almost 20 years. I even got to meet Julia Haart and Miriam Haart from Netflix’s My Unorthodox Life, who grew up in a religious community not too far from me. While there, I realized this gathering had the most Jews I’ve been around since I was in Israel in 2006. It was the safest I had felt in years. But there were also allies, including Congressman Ritchie Torres and CNN contributor Van Jones. That day reminded me of why I am proud to be Jewish and why I cannot be silent about my Judaism any longer.

Since October 7, I have lost hundreds of followers on social media. I have received anti-Israel and anti-Jewish messages, even threats. But I am not alone. The AJC found that six in 10 people have come across antisemitic content online, and 78% of American Jews feel less safe as Jews in the United States since that horrific day.

To many of us, the current climate feels different. We’re feeling angry, confused, and isolated. In my lifetime, I have watched the nation unite after domestic and foreign terrorist attacks, social justice actions, and wars. Rarely, outside of politics, have I seen us this divided: the Jewish community against everyone else. Overnight, people who had never spoken about any Middle Eastern wars became experts on the conflict. Disinformation spread like wildfire across social media, and much of it felt aimed at damaging or discrediting Jews and Zionists. Almost immediately after October 7, it was not only taboo to express sympathy for the Israelis who were captured or murdered; it was discouraged and forbidden, often met with attacks, both physical and verbal.

BUT THROUGH these painful months, there have also been glimmers of light.

During this period of mourning, I have watched people of all backgrounds come together – to educate, to grieve, to hope, and to pray. A Christian connection on social media thanked me for sharing educational resources. Jewish friends from elementary school and high school reached out. A Muslim friend held my hand as I cried, and another has been checking on me periodically for months. These are the moments I have chosen to cling to.

Our future is not where one side loses and another wins. It’s where we all unite.

The writer is an award-winning communications strategist, data storyteller, purpose-driven marketer, and educator based in New York City. He often speaks about antisemitism, LGBTQ+ rights, and social justice issues.

#Israel #antisemitism #israel hamas war

[peachfruitcake]

did you hear about what Martin said about Susan and Linda on the Twitter space he hosted on the 27th? i thought of you instantly when he started talking about them and have been waiting for you to post your thoughts! :-)

HEHE YES IM THE ONE WHO’S QUESTION LED TO THAT!!!!!

Now for those who didn’t listen to that space, Martin said that Linda called her to say goodbye but never specified how it went of course. Besides “hey Susan I’m leaving sorry this is really impacting my mental health” “gaaaaaaaaaaey”/j

This is all a personal headcanon but I like to think that their friendship grew incredibly distant ever since Linda married Felix, Susan probably stopped talking to her altogether for a while and it would leave Linda very confused and upset. They might’ve started talking to eachother again a little bit as the series of events began to approach but only very brief small talk, maybe Linda complaining a little and giving Susan a few life updates and them both talking about stuff they’ve been noticing with others lately (especially Felix’s drinking), but nothing deeper than that.

I see Susan being extremely emotionally closed off to most people except maybe a select few that she knows very closely, so if you were to ask her what’s going on in her life she’d give you a very vaguely watered down version and not what’s actually going on or how she’s really managing herself emotionally.

So basically she used to be more open with Linda, but during that period she sort of just started treating her like a stranger.

So when Linda called her first to tell her that she’s finally leaving, Susan acted how she usually would, keeping it calm, understanding and respectful and wishing her luck, but she won’t really show any more than that. Or that she cried later and felt pretty bad that they couldn’t be so close anymore and that she’ll probably never be able to make up for herself acting so distant for the past many years again.

Of course this all comes from how I view Susan as a character myself though and also the fact that I refuse to pass up the idea that she has feelings for Linda. I like to think that she introduced her to Felix cuz Linda was getting more desperate to find a relationship and Susan was getting weird thoughts so in a panic she shoved her off to him so she could avoid the urges. They’ve been boiling within her since highschool and she always was able to push them aside or excuse them as “she’s just my very close friend I don’t have many close friends so she feels extra special” and as the years went by they began distracting her a lot from her work and were growing stronger and more unavoidable aaand they were really beginning to affect how she’d interact with Linda and you see Susan hates feeling like another has any control over her and Linda just wouldn’t shut up about hooooow badly she wants a relationship and hoooow many dates keep failing and Susan was at the point to where she was starting to get the kind of dreams that make you stare up at the ceiling in horror when you open your eyes in the morning so one day when she overheard Felix speaking about being single and wanting to start looking around, she decided to introduce her to him. Susan allegedly never finds a problem she can’t fix in some way so that was her solution.

They hit it off, Susan’s solution isn’t working for some reason cuz she doesn’t feel any relief at all and in fact feels worse but just sucks it up and just focuses on her work and looks the other way. Linda and Felix get married, Susan feels like throwing up the entire day and now feels somehow even more worse by now and suddenly whenever Linda wants to chat she’s suddenly always “busy” every time. Susan’s often busy anyways but you know yourself when there’s a difference between “shit I’m busy that day, let’s do Sunday instead” and “Sorry I can’t, I’m busy”, “I don’t know when I’ll be available.”

While Linda and Felix were dating, Susan probably assumed that she was just jealous that she couldn’t have a little fun at her age herself. When they got married, Susan told herself that she’s probably so depressed over it cuz it’s making her feel like she’s fallen behind others her age and that maybe she feels bitter that all of these people are moving on and going through these important life stages while she remains behind. Which made no sense otherwise cuz Susan couldn’t give any less of a fuck about starting any sort of family or going out. But that’s what Susan would tell herself that she feels so she wouldn’t have to think about it any further. By the time Susan thinks she’s over whatever it was, she begins having brief talks with Linda occasionally. Not often and still a bit distant, but way better than before.

So yeah can you imagine how shitty and guilty Susan felt that whole time of her weird bitterness toward Linda being in a relationship and not being able to approach her much anymore or how Felix turned out to be such a shitty husband.

If this headcanon is aligned with twf’s canon, she’d probably be dead before she even gets to actually acknowledge and accept her feelings as they are. Such is life though. Not like she could’ve done anything about it.

#tldr Susan is emotionally stunted as fuck and has no idea how to identify her emotions and struggles a lot with strong emotions. she’s the #poor bastard type to stand there light a deer in headlights whenever someone cries around her #you ask her how she feels and she doesn’t react on the outside and is like ‘it’s cool’ but deep down she’s falling to her knees and crying #plus she’s a busy woman and got no time for gay shit like pining #idk if u wanted that whole hc ramble but take it anyways (˘◡˘) #it’s cool that you thought of me though!!! means a lot I like it when I’m the first someone thinks of when it comes to susan Woodings :^) #now if you’ll excuse me my sleep gummy is kicking in #the walten files #twf #sulinda #twf sulinda #twf susan x linda #the walten files susan x linda #linda thompson #susan Woodings #headcanons #I remember after Martin announced them being school friends and that Susan introduced her to Felix I made a post mentioning how I see her #haven done that to push Linda away so she could avoid her attraction fo her and how that blew up in her face lol #and he liked the post heehee obv I know that that doesn’t mean it’s canon but it is to me 😁😁😁😁🌼 #i stg if this is incomprehensible to read #I’m too tired to proofread and I just wanna post this lol

[witchofthesouls]

Oh~ I just saw your latest post about cybertronians and human dances and I love it!

As a former ballerina, I loved the admiration from the audience but over time grew to hate the process of ballet dancing. Between the cut-throat competition, the EDs, the amount of toenails that have fallen off and lost, and the fact that I don’t really have much feeling left in my feet due to the 15 years worth of ballet that damaged them.

I still love dancing, I just don’t put it above my peace and health anymore, so I can look back at my ballet career and all the stuff that happened and laugh. Trust me, my story isn’t unique among the thousands of ballet performers out there.

I think that cybertronian would be kind of horrified about the ‘smile behind the pain’ and ‘there is beauty in pain’ aspect of ballet, especially the medics and especially about the falling off toenails 😂

Ohhh, thank you for sharing! I actually had some thoughts about this since my mom is a nurse with patients who were professional dancers and holy hell, the kind of injuries that could happen! Ballet feet, indeed.

First Aid would be absolutely horrified and feeling guilty that he enjoyed the performances when it brings on that much damage. He didn't think such beautiful, effortless movements could do long-term damage. The poor thing will start digging into things to learn about the human body and how to mitigate injuries and fall into a weird spiral of "what?! No... What?!"

(It's Skyfire that needs to drag him out that funk since xenobiology on Cybertron was a massive field with so many specialties without going into different species.)

Ratchet, on the other hand, isn't surprised. He's ancient compared to a lot of the crew. He definitely remembers when professional dancers on Cybertron had to have their latches sanded or permanently removed, so it wouldn't catch the costumes or hurt their partners when their bare frames glided together. Luckily, the tech improved, but there are still common injuries like pulls and stains and breaks, especially without proper warm ups or among those without the trained flexibility on an intense choreography or heavy costumes. They still have long term-health impacts as well.

Professional dancers from Cybertron have issues with hyperflexiblity since armature has a key role in protecting joints and ligaments and cables from overusing and overextending. Very set or old professionals have a knack in popping back their parts without a grimace. A must know trick, especially during a performance. The younger ones have masks during the shows until they can master that necessity because crowds don't want to see dancers in pain. Unless it's part of the script. It can get to the point where it severely impacts their own lines (fuel, coolant, lubricant) and need either invasive corrective surgery or retirement.

They also have issues with their sensory perception. Quite a few feel too contained or claustrophobic with proper plating to the point that they're basically in root-mode all the time, so many high-end tailors leverage that. Or use really specialized plating that tricks the outside eye that it's thick when it really isn't.

Another common injury is protoform burn, especially among the dancers that do aerial performances with rigs since the straps are set deep into their base, and they're in direct line of fire of special effects. This can lead to deformations and scarring, which messes with their sensation. Many dancers see this as a matter of pride in their craft and take to highlighting their scars as a calling card or a showing at performances.

Similar to the gladiators' war paints, dancers would utilize specialized paints upon themselves to create a variety of effects: trailing mirages, bold streaks, color shifts, gradients, fog trails, and so on. Some power couples and cohorts among them coordinate their own scarring and preferred effects to create memorizing and stunning visual masterpieces.

Those of the Artisanal Caste were/are very intimate between the fine line of passion and pain.

#ask #transformers #ratchet #first aid #skyfire #cybertronian culture #cybertronian biology #maccadam #i know they dont have toes but they have an equivalent of a cardiovascular and skeletal system and muscles #i will make this fucking work #my writing

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

Part 2 of Everlark and their parents lets go Peeta your turn now.

Now this one is harder. We know very little explicit information about Peeta's family so a lot of this will be inference and my own personal interpretation of the family and their dynamic based on what we do see, what we don't see, and the way Peeta acts, so if you disagree with me that's all good lol.

So first, Peeta grew up in an absuive household. That's not a debate that's explicitly canon. Him mother not only hits him, implied to be with something, but also calls him a worthless creature when he burns the bread for Katniss. No matter that circumstance that is not how you treat your eleven year old child, that is not how you treat any child period, and this clearly isn't a one off or first time. Even though we personally see very little of the abuse on page, I at least think its impact of Peeta is very clear.

This boy has abysmal self esteem, when he discovers Katniss and Haymich have hidden things from him again he feels as if they view him as weak and stupid and too dumb to get it, that's the automatic assumption even though we know that's so far from the truth it's laughable. But for a child that grew up being consistently insulted and belittled it's not that far of a jump to make.

His ability to lie, also I think is relevant here. That kind of ability with words doesn't come from nowhere, that doesn't just happen that's something practiced. A theme with Katniss and Peeta's talents throughout the trilogy is that even the things they are good at and that help them were born from necessity. Katniss is so good with a bow and practical survival skills because she had to be, because even though she grew to love hunting, she and her family would have died without it. Peeta's skill with art comes from working at the bakery it comes from years worth or practise and labor he put in as a child, and I think his ability to lie, manipulate, mask his true feelings and talk his way though things stems from a similar place. His mother is called 'the witch' colloquially, we see she clearly has a temper and resorts to violence and insults quickly. A lot of children who grow up in abuse grow to be very charming, they learn how to lie and manipulate the situation to get themselves out of trouble and to keep themselves and potentially their siblings safe. At least to me Peeta's unmatched ability to impact and morph a situation with just his words could very easily be linked back to his childhood. We all love that Peeta is such a good manipulator but only ever uses it for good, and I think this is partially why, because he doesn't even want to be necessarily, it was a skill born for survival. His mothers cruelty is also shown very much to not be reserved purely for him, she chases starving children away from their empty bins, speaks awfully about the seam and the people from it.

His father is a complicated man. he clearly dose have love for Peeta and is shown many times to be a kind man at his core. But he is passive. He may bring Katniss cookies and make generous trades, he may have been the one to impart that inherent kindness we see in him onto Peeta, and may have been the only safe adult in the house, but he is passive. We don't know the extent of how much he steps in when his wife starts acting out, but from what we can see of her effect of Peeta clearly not enough. He also doesn't come to live with him after the games, none of them do. And while I understand practically that might not be the most reasonable situation, a newly disabled, traumatised sixteen year old boy was still left to live alone. His family may have visited often, they still talk we see him going to dinner with them, but I think their lack of mention speaks more than anything else here.

The relationship between his parents was also not exactly the best model to grow up observing. When he is five years old his dad tells Peeta is was in love with another woman, he points out her child to him, explains how he lost her. There is no addendum of how much he loves his mother now, how it was in the past. Peeta grew up with parents he was acutely aware did not love each other and from what we see and here, don't even pretend to act like it.

Now how dose this relate to Katniss. This first part is more my own speculation so ignore me if you disagree, but Katniss in the first games mentions Peeta doing certain things with her she remembers her parents doing, and wondering where he learnt it from, thinking surely not his own parents. And I think she's right, I think he learnt it from hers. Peeta is observant, I think after his father pointed out Katniss and her mother he payed attention, not just to Katniss but to her parents as well. I think he was a little fascinated by this family, these parents who clearly adore each other these children with skin clear of bruises who have never been made to feel like nothing from there parents who clearly think the world of them. There was six years from when Peeta noticed her to Mr Everdeens death, that's six years for him to observe this family and their love. Not obsessively, not even knowingly, but I think it happened. I think the Everdeens weren't just Katniss's reference for a relationship but Peeta's as well. I don't think she was the only one drawing comparisons, even if he didn't completely realise what he was doing.

(Additional evidence for this pointed out by @intellectual-punk in Mockingjay Haymitch tells Katniss the doctors showed Peeta the propo of her singing The Hanging Tree and he recognized the song and Katniss says she doesn’t know how he could as he never heard her sing it. Haymitch says he remembers her father singing it as their fathers traded. Peeta hasn't heard this song since he was 11, he’s 17 at the time of remembering it. So for him to remembering it after so long after last hearing it and clearly not hearing it around the house we can imagine that her father must have sang it near every time the two men traded and that Peeta was either specifically listening to his singing as he knows from his father that that is how Mr Everdeen won over Mrs Everdeen or he was just generally paying attention to the man either on his own or in relation to Katniss.)*Found in notes {Thank you so much for this}

I also think, going back to people seeking out the familiar, that Katniss reminded him in certain ways of his father. They're both quiet, both people associated with providing food in one way or another. I think he see's her in the way that while they both clearly love him, they both struggle to show him, leaving him to question it for a long time. But where his father fails to protect him, Katniss doesn't. Katniss doesn't have his fathers passivity, far from it, Katniss Everdeen is anything but passive. She actively works to protect him and others, she speaks out loudly when she finds something wrong, she still has that kindness, but it never gets in the way of what's necessary.

This is also where I see his mother come in, I think he dose see some similarities there. In their tempter, in the sharp way they can use their words, in the way she underestimates him in the beginning and even hurts him on occasion, shoving him into the vase (I think?) and cutting his hands after the first interview. But in so many ways Katniss is the opposite. Peeta may have developed a crush because of her voice, but he falls in love because of the way she helps people, because he knows her intrinsically and intrinsically Katniss is someone who cares. He always comments on her healing ability, even if she finds it lacking it's clearly something he loves about her, hands that heal instead of hurt. His mother was cruel to everyone especially those less fortunate, meanwhile Katniss would give everything on her to those who need it more. He see's the similarities yes, and unconsciously that familiarity might be a small drive towards her, but ultimately he loves Katniss for the ways in which she is different from his mother, the ways in which his mother failed, for the ways in which she stepped in where his father fell short. As well as for a lot of other reasons of course, but I think his parents impact is definitely something to consider.

#peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #everlark #mr mellark #mrs mellark #the hunger games #thg #katniss and peeta #tw: abuse #part 2 #i love him so much #my love I'm sorry you didn't deserve that #they deserved so much better #character analysis

[farfromstrange]

Matilda | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You left your past behind to start a new life, but the road continues to be rocky even years after getting out of your hometown.

Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, talk about childhood trauma, emotionally absent father, daddy issues (not the sexy kind), crying, not proof-read

Word Count: 2k

A/n: Since I saw this song live for the third time ever and I cried my eyes out because lately, I relate a little too much to this song, I thought I'd use my interpretation of it to channel some emotions. You don't have to read it, do with it as you will, but I think some of you might see yourself in this little fic too and it might help you too, maybe even give you some hope for the future. If you get the chance and haven't already, give that beautiful song a listen!

You’re happy. Two words you never thought you would use in the same sentence or context, but it’s true; You are happy. You’ve abandoned the small town you were born and moved to New York City. You have a well-paying job, one that you’re happy with. You’ve pursued your dreams, the dreams so many people have tried telling you not to pursue. You have managed to move out and on and start a life that’s made for you, not the people around you. You’re living for yourself, finally. And then there’s him, Matt Murdock, the man of your dreams. You’ve been dating for two years and although you’ve had your ups and down, you have never been more in love. He’s taught you that you don’t have to please everyone and that your life belongs to you, no one can tell you otherwise. He’s taught you what safety and stability can look like, and he’s taught you how it feels like to be loved and to love someone as unconditionally as you love him. He’s helped you find yourself and you are forever grateful for that. 

When you came to New York, you were broken and looking for an escape. You struggled to get back on your feet after falling out with your family, with your father especially, and you just wanted to forget that your life before ever existed. You truly believed you were broken beyond repair. Most of your relationships in the past had failed and you came to realize that the problem was your choice of men. You didn’t know how to trust someone else, you either got too attached or too afraid of commitment, and that fear carried into all parts of your life to the point you considered crawling back home on your knees and begging for forgiveness for something you didn’t even do. The wounds from your childhood were deep, and you weren’t sure how to heal something that ended up having such a huge impact on you. 

But then Matt came into your life. One day, you were having coffee at your local Starbucks when he walked in. He bumped into you, hitting you with his cane. You remember apologizing profusely, but he told you, “You’re good, it’s not your fault.” He bought you another coffee to replace the one you spilled and you’ve been inseparable since then. 

When he first learned about your family history, he wasn’t surprised. Your tendency to apologize for everything, your fear of loud voices, and the fear of failure that you displayed whenever things weren’t going your way told him everything he needed to know. Although when you told him how deep your wounds truly run, he could only wrap his arms around you and promise you that you were going to be okay. And he was right. 

You got better. You learned how to deal with your past. You’ve got yourself a man who loves you unconditionally and he has been nothing but supportive since. You’ve built a new life for yourself and you’re still growing. Things are going well. It’s the kind of optimism you never fathomed possibly as a child. 

Back then, you lived to please your father and to support your mother after he left, and when he started a new family, blaming yourself for not being good enough became the standard. You grew up thinking everything that went wrong was your fault and that if you had just done better, he wouldn’t have left and started a new family. A family he still treats better than he ever treated you, and while your mom moved on, you grew up trying to fix everything and everyone around you but yourself, and it broke you. That was ultimately the reason why you chose to leave, and you forced yourself not to look back. You don’t want to be the same broken little girl anymore. You’re a grown woman now and your new life offers something your past lacked - love. 

Though when your father called the other day and asked you to join them for family dinner while he is in town, your past turned around to bite you in the ass. 

The door finally falls shut behind you, shielding you from the outside world. The entire evening was spent being forced to watch how much better your father and his new family are doing and it has broken something inside of you that you had spent years trying to fix. You played along, confrontation not being your strong suit, but you had never wished to leave a table so soon. 

Matt looks up from his spot on the couch, one headphone in his ear as he is towered over several case files. You don’t want to bother him while he’s working, but there is nothing you coil slip past him, especially not when you’re already close to tears. He’s told you before, “If something’s wrong or you’re not feeling well, I want you to tell me, no matter what time of day it is or how busy I am. You can talk to me.” You’ve often felt like a burden before, considering he had to teach you so many things you missed as a child, but learning how to ask for help or simply seek comfort without feeling guilty has by far been your greatest challenge that persists up to this day. 

When he hears the change in your breathing and your racing heartbeat, he slowly gets up. “What’s wrong?” he asks softly. 

It’s not the kind of question that should hit you as hard, but it does. And when he opens his mouth to ask again, “Are you okay?” It is game over. 

The first tear slides down your cheek as you press yourself against the door, your eyes directed toward the ceiling. You try to blink away the tsunami that is about to hit, but the sobs are already standing close by, waiting for their moment to shine. 

You hate that, after all this time, your father still has the same power over you, and that you still don’t know better than to let his behavior and his words cut way too close to home. You let his ignorant self break your heart time and time again because even now, the hope that he will find something worth putting effort into you and rekindle your relationship is still a dying flame inside your withering soul. It’s a flower that never truly dies, and it hurts you time and time again. Matt knows that. He hates that you do, but there is nothing that he understands more than craving the attention and love of the parent that has failed to do so before. 

“Sweetheart,” his voice is suddenly so close and when you glance to your left, he is standing there, his arms wide open. 

You shake your head. It’s too much. What you need, you can’t have. 

“Come here,” he says. 

You don’t want to, but at the same time, you do. Your feet carry you over, your body doing the talking your mouth fails to do. The way your shoulders slack tell him parts of the story. 

You fall into his arms, your tears flowing freely now. They stain his dress shirt, but he doesn’t mind. He holds you close to him, rubbing your back, and your sobs vibrate off his shoulder. 

“I hate him,” you manage to choke out. 

He nods. “I know.”

“I fucking hate him!"

“I know, sweetheart. Let it out. You can let it go.”

And so you do. He is your haven, your sanctuary, and you are too tired to fight. 

You remember learning how to ride your bike as a child and accidentally hurting your knee. Like any other child, you cried. Your father told you that it’s no big deal, to push through and move on. That much, you understood and you still do, but he told you the same thing every time you cried. Crying was considered a weakness. Part of you still believes it, which is why you hardly ever cry in front of anyone. As a child, it had never felt especially alarming, but as you grew older, you started to realize how twisted it was to connect emotions to weakness. They’re not. Matt taught you as much, as have all the other new people in your life, your friends, your chosen family. Still, it’s a part of you that you can’t seem to shake, no matter how hard you try. 

Letting it go had never seemed like a possibility before until you met Matt and started anew. On days like today though, you tend to forget, and he has to pick up the pieces of your heart your father has shattered only an hour prior. 

No matter how many times you say that you’re okay with the pain he caused, there will always be a part of you that feels dead inside whenever you think about it, a part that yearns for the childhood you never got to have, and a part that is angry at everything and everyone even though you promised yourself to always be kind, and you try to do so. But sometimes, it’s hard, and Matt knows how hard it is because he is familiar with the feeling of anger. 

He slowly pulls away from the hug to hold your face in his hands. “Whatever he said to you, don’t let it get to you,” he tells you, “because he doesn’t get to have that power over you.”

You sniffle. “It hurts,” you say.

“I know it does, but that’s why you have to let it go. Them, him, all of it.”

“Every time I try, he manages to come back into my life. It’s like I can’t escape him. I just don’t want to go back to where I was before.”

“You don’t have to,” he says and strokes your cheeks. “You’re home with me, right where you belong, and you’re going to be okay.”

Matt lowers his forehead against yours and you close your eyes, inhaling his signature scent and feeling his warmth fill your body with serenity and a sense of safety. You feel less alone in his arms. 

He presses his lips to your forehead before moving on to your lips. “I love you.”

You muster a weak, “I love you too.”

“It’s okay to move on, sweetheart.” He always knows what to say, you have noticed. He speaks from his soul right into yours, and in his arms, you don’t doubt it. You don’t doubt him. You believe him. “You already did, and it’s okay to not want to be confronted with the past again. The next time he wants to talk, just say no. Family is who you feel comfortable with, who you feel loved by, and you don’t feel loved by him,” he says. “Or do you?”

“No,” you whimper. His perception of love is twisted and you have never truly felt loved by him. 

“Then he and his new family are not worth it. You don’t deserve this, you deserve better, and you deserve to be loved.” 

“Why is it so hard to let it go even though it hurts so much?” You swallow a broken sob. “I just don’t understand…”

“It’s a phenomenon hardly anyone understands, but you’re not alone. Not anymore. I’ve got you and I won’t ever let you go, so I’ll help you the same way I always have, okay?” The scars are fresh and Matt tries not to abuse them too hard. He gently tugs you toward the couch and sets you down next to him, pulling you into his chest. 

You curl into him, seeking his love and comfort like a scared little kitten. “I’m sorry,” you say. 

Matt shakes his head, running his fingers through your hair. “You don’t have to be sorry, I just want you to be okay.”

You shudder. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he says, “especially not for turning your back on them and doing it on your own.”

And he's right - you don't have to be sorry, and you refuse to be any longer. In his arms, you're finally safe, and you refuse to let the man who ruined your childhood ruin your new life too. Because you deserve happiness, and you don't want to lose it again, whatever it takes.

#matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #no y/n #matt murdock fic #daredevil x reader #daredevil fic #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fluff #hurt/comfort #daddy issues #childhood trauma #self indulgence at its finest #gender neutral reader #matt murdock imagines

[prismuffin]

Andrews Peter Parker x male reader kryptonian, with them not being just dating yet but patrol together and know each others secret identities and Peter sees reader flirting with another guy and peters giving him the cold shoulder the rest of the day and on patrol until reader has enough 🤭

A/n: You sent this in LAST MINUTE LMFAOOOO I still got it tho -- not necessarily proofread sorry I gotta get this out! I'll check it later but right now I gotta work PFF-

Jealousy, Jealousy

tasm!Peter Parker x male!kryptonian!reader

( summary: Peters been giving you the cold shoulder since your friends Christmas party and you’ve finally had enough )

warnings?: light swearing, Peter sorta being “mean” to the reader, arguing/angry confession, reader wears a mask like Peter, reader calls Peter 'honeybee'

!-!more under the cut!-!

You could practically feel your blood boil at the tension that flooded the space between you and Peter. The air that was usually filled with light chatter and flirty remarks was left heavy and silent, almost eerily so. He hasn’t said a word to you since the start of patrols, nods and grunts are the only indication that he’s even listening to you. Come to think of it, he hadn’t said a word to you all week. It’s been radio static on his end for what feels like the longest. At first you thought he was just busy with his own life but now that he’s in front of you it’s clear that it’s more than that.

Last weekend some guys at your college threw a huge Christmas party and you’d decided to invite Peter along. The only time he ever got out was on patrols and you thought he needed a change of scenery. Maybe he would even meet a girl or guy that he liked and he’d stop complaining about being single all the time. But it seems like ever since then he’s become even more reserved, towards you at least. And you just can’t seem to wrap your head around why he’s been acting like this. He hasn’t texted or called you once since that damn party, opting for leaving you on read or flat out declining your calls. You hoped thought that things would be different in person. That you’d walk up to him and he’d just apologize for being so busy this week and you both would talk and joke like you usually do but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Your eye twitched as the air somehow grew thicker, it felt more suffocating than ever. You tried to focus on your patrols. Scan the streets and use your superheating to find signs of danger so that you could stop any potential threats. Taking a large breath, you did just that, focused on the sounds of the streets, going from block to block until you heard what sounded like conflict and gunfire. “Escaped inmates have hostages on 5th.” You turned to Peter who nodded and began swinging off. With a sigh you followed him, flying at a steady pace above him. Usually he’d say “race ya,” or make a bet over who could stop more criminals but nope, he just swung off. So you’re not imagining things, he seems to actually be mad at you for something but for what?

You don’t have time to ponder that question as you land with a thud, Peter coming in swinging from behind you. Making quick work, you check just how many threats there are with your X-ray vision before charging through the doors, though they were webbed open before you could make impact. Not expecting this, you didn’t have time to stop with just how much force you put behind your dash causing you to crash headfirst into an inmates back. Even with the small stumble you were able to recover rather quickly but even then it didn’t stop the glare that you shot at Peter. You always charge first whenever you both patrol together, is he pretending like you’re not even here? You could feel yourself grinding your teeth as you punched an inmate a little too hard, his body flying out a window of the shop. The fighting continued and you have to say that, that was the worst fight you've had with Peter. he kept being in the way, whenever you turned he was there or you'd have to dodge one of his webs as it slung seemingly randomly. He had to be distracted with something, there was no doubt now.

---

"Ok, what the hell was that?" You asked as you both landed on a nearby roof, watching the police find and detain the webbed up criminals. He didn't speak, just turned and started walking away from the edge of the roof. "Honeybee, come on, I'm not just ignoring this you were all up in my way during that fight." "Oh really? I was in your way?!" Peter shot his thoughts back at you verbally for the first time this night, and though you were glad to finally hear his voice the tone was unignorable. "Yeah! What, is your little spidey tingle broken or something? You almost crashed into me three times!" Your eyebrows furrowed behind your mask as you heard Peter scoff. "Well maybe you should watch where you're going when fighting." A laugh ripped from your throat though it was more out of disbelief than hilarity. "Don't try and turn this on me, I saw you. You let that inmate get a hit on you and everything. You've been like this all night will you just drop this silent treatment shit and tell me what's going on?!" You breathed heavily as a silence filled the air but you broke it before it could crush you. "You've barely talked to me all week, did I," You took a deep breath, suddenly finding it hard to look at Peter. "Did I do something to make you mad at me? Please just tell me and I'll apologize and fix it! But I can't fix the problem if you won't even talk to me about it." Your sentence got quieter the more you spoke and after a while Peter sighed. "What is it? Was it the Christmas party?" You saw Peters hand twitch at the mention of it, his hand balling into a fist. "Oh my god it was, well what the fuck! Was it 'cause I left you? Look dude I know it was wrong for me to kinda dip but you could've walked up to me at any time! There's no need to go this fucking far over a goddamn Christmas party!" "It wasn't the Christmas party!" Peter suddenly yelled, "or well, I guess it was I just- Ugh!" Throwing his hands up in defeat, he slid to the ground, resting his face in his hands as he sat in a crisscross position.

Walking closer to him, you sat down in front of him, poking his hands. "Can you man up and just tell me what the fuck you're mad about?" "You!" His face shop out of his hands, and though you couldn't see his eyes through his mask you could feel the eye contact. "You were there all night! Flirting with that guy like you flirt with me!" Your eyes widened and you jumped slightly at his yelling. You chuckled, your face still holding fear as you tried to find some humor in the now serious aura that surrounded you both. "W-What?" "That guy, at the party! You left me by the bathrooms and when I went to find you, you were with him. Laughing and flirting all night with your stupid arm around his stupid waist!" "Peter I-" "You called him honeybee..." His voice got quieter and you swear he sounded like he was about to cry. "What?-" "I thought I was the only one you called that but I guess not," he shrugged and turned from you. Suddenly feeling extremely guilty, you reached out towards him. You didn't mean to make him feel this way at all. "Ho-Peter.." Grabbing his hand you felt your heart throb as he ripped it out of your grasp. "No! It's too late now, doesn't matter alright? Let's just finish patrols." He stood quickly and you followed, grabbing his arm before he could swing off. "No it's not too late, Pete I'm sorry!" He shook himself out of your grasp but made no attempt to move. "I didn't mean to make you feel like this...honeybee," you grabbed his arm again and though he tensed he soon relaxed at your touch. "If I had known I-" You sighed, "I care about you Peter, probably more than I should." The nerves building from what you were confessing made you want to puke but still you pushed on, pulling up your mask so that he could see how sincere you were being. "I've liked you for a while but I was a little scared to commit," You swallowed thickly as you suddenly found it hard to form words. "I never meant to hurt you h-" "You like me?" Your eyes shot back to his at the sound of his voice and you nodded, "Yeah," you chuckled awkwardly, "I-I know it's a bit-" The feeling of lips on your own cut you off and you had to stop yourself from stumbling back at the force. "Sorry!" Peter spoke, pulling back from your face, his mask now pulled up to his nose.

You blinked, trying desperately wrap your head around what happened. "I shouldn't have-" "It's fine honeybee," You laughed, covering your face with your hand as you finally found the humor you were searching for earlier. "just- a warning next time would be better." Peter laughed with you, rubbing the nape of his neck with his hand. Even with the darkness of the night it was clear that he was blushing. "C-could we try that again?" He asked and you swallowed your giggles with a nod.

Slower this time, you both leaned in consensually, breathing deeply as your lips finally collided. Your hands found their way to Peters half covered cheek as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. All of your pent of feelings were shared in this moment as you kissed Peter deeper. You pulled away from each other, foreheads pressed together as Peter caught his breath, your kryptonian heritage making the lack of oxygen not as bad.

"I love you honeybee."

"I love you too."

----!----

( god help me I'm so stressed )

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