#and you have a bad headache and feel tired and confused

[darth-does-stuff]

sometimes i think that i don’t really get dysphoric or have any doubt about my identity with being trans and then i experience nights like last nights and. hoo boy

#it wasn’t even like crushing dysphoria it was just #so much doubt. just so much. #and it wasn’t the kind where i looked in the mirror and i hated how i looked #it was just being so confused about if i was really trans #unease and second guessing myself #and then it translated to my interests and stuff and it was bad #i just felt tired and bored and so lost and it was #bleh #-100/10 would not recommend #we’re doing better tonight though we’re doing better #in the gender sense not physical i have a killer headache and it’s the middle of the night lmao #god thinking about last night and how i felt really is just so tiring #nothing even brought it on there was just sudden doubt. i was overthinking and second guessing #i kept asking myself if i was really trans do you feel that this is right #that fucking shit #and then somehow i don’t know how that translated to my interests??? #like one moment im questioning my gender and the next i experience this thing of. not interested in anything #except dimension 20. that interest was still there thank god #but i suddenly didn’t feel like writing or drawing or making sanders sides stuff #i was just. tired and lost and it sucked #well there’s my little rant i’m gonna sleep now lol #tw dysphoria #rant #vent #don’t really know what to tag it as lmao #once again i’m better tonight so dw

[wosoamazing]

Diabetes Pt. 2

Notes: England wins the world cup final in this fic. Also Beth and Leah's ACL injuries never happened.

Warnings: Diabetes, Low Blood Sugar (not bad but like continuous), other things related.

It was match day -1 to the world cup final, and you were sitting in your team meeting next to Beth, when you started to feel funny, you tested and sure enough you were low, so you pulled out some lollies, Beth noticed your actions and she placed a hand on your knee and lightly squeezed it, to reassure you, knowing you would not be happy about this happening now. Another 15 minutes later you tested again and pulled out another set of lollies, and 15 minutes after that you did the same thing. Beth flashed a concerned look at you, she was worried, and confused, you were sitting down you weren't exercising, and by the way you were now leaning against her side and your leg felt slightly sticky to touch your levels had definitely not improved, you were annoyed, it was the final tomorrow and Sarina had told you she wanted to start you, the first time you would start, and it was the world cup final, but now it was looking like that wouldn’t happen because as if she would start you if you had to miss training today, especially due to a medical reason.

-

You were on the sidelines watching training, hoping your levels would go up soon, so you could join the team, the girls had been given a water break and so Beth came to sit down next to you, to talk to you. “They just won't go up,” you said as tears welled in your eyes, you had been low for quite some time now, Hospital was considered but deemed not necessary as your levels were not majorly low, it was just that they weren't going up. You hated it, your body was shaky, you were tired and you felt sick.

“I really want to play,” you sadly said looking at Beth, “I know baby, it’s okay, I think you’re just anxious and that isn’t helping, but it's weird they aren't going up.” She replied softly as she pulled you in for a hug, you shuffled so you were sitting between her legs, resting back against her as she was leaning against the wall behind her. “Can you stay with me?” you had kind of trapped her but you still had to ask. “Of course she can,” Sarina said as she was now standing in front of you both, “You can stay with her Beth, if you want of course, today is a short training anyway” “I’ll stay with her,” Beth replied, she didn’t care if this mean she had to give up her spot in the starting 11 for the World Cup Final, she just wanted to try and give you some control on a day you had no control knowing how you got annoyed when you were doing everything right but it just wasn't working. Your body was winning today and it was clearly starting to really get to you and upset you, 

“I want you both at team time after lunch though, it's not active, it's just sitting down and talking, we will have one of the medics there,” Sarina told you both, and you both nodded before she started walking away.

_____

You were now in “team time” as Sarina called it, you were sitting on Beth’s lap as Sarina explained what was happening today. She was answering Tooneys dumb question when Beth whispered into your ear after just seeing what the notification on her watch was “Why is your pod alerting that it has no insulin in it? It shouldn’t-” “You’re kidding me right, can you take it off?” you asked her quietly “you sure?” you just nodded, frustrated no one had thought of this earlier but to be fair, how would anyone have known. “It’s probably faulted and been leaking slightly all day but because I’ve been having carbs every 15 minutes or less there wasn't a big enough change to notice.” She just nodded as she carefully took it off, to no surprise your levels started to even out again, albeit slowly, and since you had been low all day you were incredibly tired and had a headache, so after team time and taking some paracetamol and having a small snack you were out for the count the rest of the afternoon. You were woken up for dinner which you ate in your half asleep state before going back to sleep.

_____

Sure enough you were not starting, but it made sense and you couldn’t be mad at anyone. You sat on the sidelines, watching as both teams fought for dominance, it was even at nil all until Olga scored in the 40th minute putting Spain up by one. You sat in the locker room at half time, a feeling of defeat hung in the air, but Sarina and Leah were quick to turn that around.

“Can you play? I’m not sure when I want to put you on but can you play?” Sarina asked as you walked back out of the tunnel and headed to the bench ready for the second half, “yeah, I’m fine,” “okay good, can you put a second sensor on?” you nodded, grabbing the ‘emergency sensor kit’ you always had on the bench whether you were playing or not, it was there in case you needed to change your sensor mid game, but today it was being used as a second sensor. You were stood up putting the sensor on your thigh when one of the medics came up and started to unwrap the tape around your pod arm, you looked at her, “we’re taking your pod off, we’ve got pens set up and ready, we don’t want to risk it, especially with what happened yesterday. We’ve also got another pod ready for when you come off,” you just nodded and continued to set up the second dexcom, you received more than the average amount of pods a month from the NHS due to the fact your played football professionally and they knew it meant you would need more pod changes, but Arsenal was also always prepared to pay for more if they needed to, so the fact you had a pod on for just over 12 hours and you were taking it off wasn't a concern for you thankfully.

You were subbed on as a double sub in the 80th minute you were coming on for Ella Toone, and Alex Greenwood was coming on to replace Jess Carter. Spain was still ahead and it was clear England was struggling in their fight for dominance but with the addition of you and Alex the game became a new battle. In the 87th minute, you had a chance, most people would’ve just kicked it in, there was a change it could’ve gone in, you looked around and Alessia was unmarked, and you had a direct path to pass it to her and she could so easily tap it in, Alessia could see what you were thinking and gave you a subtle thumbs up, you looked straight at the goal whilst you passed to Alessia she kicked it and it found the back of the net, the Spanish players were bewildered, you were ecstatic as you ran to Alessia. After the addition extra time the scores were still even, so it came time to Penalties, you were lined up as the 6th penalty taker, meaning there wasn't a high chance you would be taking a penalty, but it also meant it could all come down to you, it was tactical though, you had never taken a penalty in a high pressure situation before, nothing had been close, so even though you were good in training it was a risk, however at the same time no one could study your penalties meaning you were a wild card, no statistics would be backing the choices of Cata, she would be going purely off gut instinct. All 5 penalties for both teams somehow were even, Spain scored so did England, if Spain scored neither did England. So came the sudden death rounds, Mary saved Spain’s 6th penalty, meaning it all came down to you, you could win this for the lionesses. You stepped up to the ball, and focused in, taking a deep breath, your surroundings blurred as you had one focus, getting the ball past Cata, you shifted your weight onto your back foot before you took your 4 strides to the ball, which went flying at hit the top right corner of the back of the net. You had just won the World Cup for the lionesses, you sprinted to your teammates as they ran to you, everyone jumping on top of each other in disbelief, you had just beaten Spain, one of the best teams in the world.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso x reader #lionesses #lionesses x reader #beth mead x reader

[paladinncleric]

Neighbors.

Pairing(s): Tara Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: Tara and R are neighbors

Warning(s): fluff, bad writing

Words: 1k+

A/N: I couldn't find the request but here you are, this is very rushed

My eyes fluttered open as the Uber driver wakes me up. I payed and thanked him as I dragged my legs up the stairs of my apartment complex because the elevator was broken...again. I could barely comprehend my surroundings as I tried to get to my apartment. The tiredness of my 12 hour shift weighing down on me heavily.

As I finally reached my apartment, I looked for my keys. In my pockets? nope, not there. My bag? not there either. As I started to grow frustrated, I remembered I kept the extra key under the mat. But guess what? that was also not there. I felt like ramming my head through the wall but that will not help my situation.

Reminder to self: never give your extra key to your friends and then forget the original one at work. I can't even ask them to bring it as it's 2 in the fucking morning.

I cursed out loud as I kicked my door in a state of rage and tiredness that I completely forgot other people lived here too.

My last resort was to kindly ask my neighbor if I can spend the night at her place, who happens to be my very good friend and the person I've been in love with for the last year and a half. I nervously walked in front of her apartment and raised my fist to knock, my fist was left hanging in the air, when the door suddenly opened and I was faced with a pissed-off and sleepy Tara.

"I guess I was not being as quiet as I thought I was huh?" I said with a chuckle as I smiled awkwardly.

"That was you? I thought it was the Smiths down the hall going at it again." She said with a tired giggle.

"Why were you being so loud so late anyways?" She said with a chuckle as she let me in.

She stared at me expectantly for an answer with that cute little smile on her face as if she knew the effect she had on me. Probably she did, I was never really discreet with my staring. I snapped out of my thoughts as I answered her.

"I may have locked myself out of my apartment." I said with a frustrated sigh as I rubbed my head already feeling a headache coming in from the lack of sleep.

"What really? what about that key under your doormat?"

"Yea, that's the prob-how do you know about that?" I asked confused.

"Y/N/N you do know that, that's the first place someone would look for a key if they're trying to break-in? Also I saw you open the door with that once."

"I-I knew that! I just thought no one would try and break in..." My voice lowered in volume into a whisper as I continued, finally hearing how ridiculous it sounded.

Tara doubled over in laughter as she saw that I even doubted the things I said. And I stared at her fondly, loving the sound that filled the room. She wiped the lone tear from her face from the laugh and faced me with a huge grin.

"So what happened to it anyway?" She said chuckling still trying to recover from her fit of laughter.

"Mindy took it when she stayed over last time and forgot to return it."

"So what I got from this is that you don't have a place to stay?" She inquired.

"Basically, yeah"

"And as an amazing human being and an amazing friend I offer you my place for the night" She said with a grin as she gestured to her place.

I'll admit the 'friend' part stung a little but nothing I haven't dealt with before.

"Thanks so much Tar,I owe you one!" I exclaimed as I went and hugged her.

“Yeah yeah, stop acting like it’s your first time.”

She seemed to melt in my embrace, as she hugged me back tighter. I reluctantly let go as her scent was so hypnotizing.

"Let's get you in some comfy clothes" She said as she smoothed out the shirt and slacks I was wearing.

As she was walking away I 'discreetly' checked her out. She was wearing a white tee which rode up over her hips and black booty shorts which were too short to be honest. It's going to be a hard night.

----------

"Hey, you ready?" She asked as she poked her head into her room.

"Yea, I'm done." I said as I put my work clothes into the dirty clothes basket from what I was instructed earlier. I was in a black tee with grey joggers.

I turned around and saw her blatantly checking me out. I raised my eyebrows at her and she matched my expression once she caught my eye. I shook my head smiling at her goofiness and she chuckled.

"Where'd you get these clothes from anyway? They’re too big for your tiny self." I inquired.

Tara scoffed, “Bold of you to be rude to me tonight when I can easily kick you out.”

I raised my hands in mock surrender as she glared at me.

“They're Sam's, she left her clothes here the last time she stayed over."

"Makes sense."

After a moment of silence I couldn't fight my exhaustion any longer so I asked if the guest room was available.

"Well Sam is coming here in like 3 hours from her shift. So she would you kick you out if she found you sleeping there."

“Thought so.” I say bummed out as I thought of sleeping in the sofa. I started gathering my stuff and moving towards the living room when she stopped me.

After a moment of contemplating she asked, "Wait why don't you sleep in my room and I'll sleep downstairs on the sofa?"

"Nope, not happening it's your apartment I can't let you do that." I objected.

The bickering went on for a while until we both agreed to sleep on the same bed.

I mean it’s not like I haven’t slept over before, it’s just there’s always been someone from our group present.

----------

"So, which side of the bed do you prefer?" I asked.

"I prefer the right one, but you can choose tonight."

"Then I'll take the left one." I decided.

She shrugged and started to get ready for bed. After we were all tucked in, me laying on my back facing the ceiling, and her on her right side facing me. As I stared at the ceiling contemplating whether I should turn to face her too, I noticed her staring at me with a dazed expression.

"What?" I asked as I turned my head to face her.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I don't know." I raised my eyebrows at her amused.

I turned to my left side completely and stared at her while she stared at me. I noticed a small smile appearing on her lips as she looked at me with a loving expression. I lost all my train of thoughts as I looked at her looking at me.

She's so beautiful when she smiles even if it's a small one, it can light up any room, the way her eyes squints and crinkle around the corner when she smiles too wide, the cute little dimples that forms on her cheeks. The way she laughs with her whole body and has a habit of leaning on things when laughing. The automatic pout that forms on her lips when she's sad, and the smirk present on her face most of the time when talking to me, that cute sexy smirk.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She asked.

"My thoughts are worth more than a penny." I grinned back at her.

"I'm sure they are." She said with a chuckle,

"Seriously, what're you thinking about?" She asked again, genuinely curious.

"You." I answered honestly.

“Me?" She asked surprised.

“Yea.”

“What about me?” She asked interested.

"How amazing you are." She raised her eyebrows at me.

“That’s awfully nice of you say.” She said with a soft smile.

I shrugged as I stared back with all the love I had for her pouring out.

Suddenly, she moved forward and hugged me tightly and buried her face in my neck. I hugged her back just as much as tightly and laid my head on top of hers. We stayed like that for a bit, then she pulled back a bit but still wrapped up in my arms.

"Y/N/N?"

She looked up and I looked down at her and answered.

"Yea?"

"I love you."

My heart fluttered and ached as I smiled slightly and answered.

"I love you too."

"Really?"

"Yea, why? are you doubting my love for you?" I said in a teasing tone as I moved some of her bangs from her eyes.

"Do you love me as just a friend?" She asked looking back and forth in my eye trying to find answers.

"Tara what are you trying to say?" I asked as I felt my heartbeat getting faster. She placed her hands on my chest on top of my heart.

“Your heart’s beating very fast.”

“I know.”

She stayed there for a moment with her hand on top of my heart, avoiding eye contact.

“Tara.”

"I'm in love with you." She blurted out.

I blinked multiple times and stared wide eyed at her. As she looked in my eyes for a bit then continued speaking.

"I have been in love with you since I first moved in here 3 years ago. You helped me with my mental health, whenever I felt anxious or scared you'd cook me your famous spaghetti and we'd watch horror movies all night even though I know you’d rather watch something else. I know it's too much to know right now but I just needed you to know, I couldn't wait any longer." She finished her confession.

I stared at her for a few seconds trying to process all this. I heard her sigh and starting to move away from me. Overcame in panic, I did the first thing I thought of and have been wanting to do for a while now.

I kissed her.

Her lips were so soft and smooth and tasted like cherry and honey as I cradled her jaw. I felt her reciprocating as I started to slowly move my lips against hers. There were no rush, we just laid there gently moving our lips against each other. She cradled my face in her hands and I rested my hands on her waist. We parted when there was a need of air. Both of us panting a bit as Tara rested her forehead against mine.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that for." I said slightly panting

"Eh, I had an idea." Tara grinned as she leaned forward and gave me a firm peck.

"For the record, I love you too." I replied with a grin as the butterflies came alive in my stomach.

-----------

I groaned as I felt myself waking up. I fluttered my eyes open as I realized I'm in Tara's bedroom, all the memories from yesterday flooded my head, I smiled bashfully as I looked beside me to see the spot empty, but I could smell the pancakes in the air. I got up from the bed, stretched my muscles and scratched me back while yawning and went out of the room to see the cause of that heavenly smell.

I walked out of her room, to see her cooking pancakes in the stove with her back to me. I walked slowly towards her and leant against the counter. And loudly yelled out "So, what'cha making?" She jumped at least 3 feet from the ground.

"Y/N/N you scared the shit out of me!" Tara exclaimed as I burst out laughing, she smacked my shoulder with a spatula as she started pouting.

"Not my fault you get scared easily." I said with a shrug as I massaged the place she hit. For someone so small she sure could hit.

“Yea, I wonder why.”She glared at me as she sarcastically spoke.

I chuckled as she went back to making pancakes while I sighed dreamily as I stared at her being so domestic.

"I can feel you staring at me creep." She laughed as she turned around to give me a playful glare.

"You weren't discreet with it then, and you still aren't now.” She said with a smirk as she looked at me over her shoulders.

"Just so you know, I wasn't trying to be discreet." I replied with raised brows.

"Yea sure ok, whatever helps you sleep at night." She said with a sarcastic tone.

This bitch-

"Oh please don't be so flattered I wanted you to know." I said with a wave of my hands.

"Uh huh" She replied with a tone so obvious that she doesn't believe me.

I stared at her with a glare as she started to laugh loudly after glancing at me over her shoulders. I went behind her sneakily as I saw her put the last batch of pancakes on the plate and started tickling her. She jumped and screamed as she tried to get away from my fingers. But I trapped her in between the counter and me and started to tickle her more.

"Y/N/N STOP" She screamed out as she started struggling in my arms, I let her take a bit of an advantage as I loosened my arms a little and she moved away.

She started running towards the living room as she looked over her shoulders to see me running after her with an evil smirk and my fingers wiggling in the air in her direction. She sped up and screamed.

"Y/F/N I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS!"

I tackled her to the sofa and started tickling her again as I straddled her. And she started laughing uncontrollably as she tried to move my fingers away from her.

"OK STOP STOP I SURRENDER I GIVE UP I GIVE UP" She shouted and I finally stopped, both of us panting for air after all that cardio. I stared down at her as she stared up at me, still panting. I swear to God in that moment I've never seen something more gorgeous than her.

She had her hair sprawled across the sofa, bare-faced all red from laughing too much, sweating and panting as she looked up at me with this happy and content look in her eyes, it made my heart burst with joy, I felt like jumping around screaming dancing not believing that she loved me back. My stomach filled with butterflies and spread through to every inch of my body. I could feel my serotonins being released just by looking at her. She was my serotonin.

I started to lean down with the intention of kissing her, she looked up at me expectantly as she waited for me to close the gap. My hands on either side of her head as they supported my weight, when I was about an inch away from kissing her, she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"You're so very wrong if you think I'm gonna let you kiss me after the torture you put me through." She said with her lips brushing against mine then suddenly she pushed me off of her on the floor as I groaned and she got up from the sofa.

"And come quickly dumbass the pancakes are already cold because of you.” She said as she walked away swaying her hips to the kitchen, and I know she was smirking. I sighed contented as I laid there even though my butt hurt from the fall, it was worth it. God, I loved this girl so much.

#tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #scream 5 #scream 6 #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #tara carpenter x y/n #jenna ortega x you #tara carpenter x you

[projectionistwrites]

Literally would read any moon knight smut from you 🥵 can I request something with the boys having a marking/spit kink? I feel like it is most in Marc’s character but tbh I’m not particular heh

sorry this took so long hehe i hope you like it <3

ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY

Marc Spector x afab!reader (mentions of Steven Grant x reader) (2.2k)

Marc Spector didn’t fancy himself a jealous man—but you knew exactly how to push his buttons.

RATING: EXPLICIT (18+ mdni) WARNINGS: arguing, jealousy, SMUT (oral (f! and m! receiving), degradation, a bit of choking, facefucking, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, mean!dom!marc)

It was an accident, really—you hadn’t meant for it to slip out. And yet, there wasn’t a single part of you that felt bad about it.

Marc had already been in a bad mood when he’d woken up that morning, sulking and brooding and generally unpleasant to be around. When you’d asked him what was wrong, he’d brushed you off, insisting he was just tired and had a headache. You knew better than to believe him.

Truthfully, you had a suspicion that Marc had been feeling neglected. After he’d introduced you to Steven several weeks ago, the two of you had been inseparable—you and Marc had been dating for a year and half, so getting to know Steven was like the honeymoon phase all over again. He was sweet, and gentle, and shy, and many other things that Marc simply wasn’t. The contrast excited you, but you could tell that the puppy love between you and Steven had begun to take a toll on Marc.

When you’d gotten home from work today, you had planned on offering to cook a nice meal for you and Marc in an attempt to smooth things over and ease his worried mind, but he clearly was in no mood for reconciliation.

“Honey, I’m hooome.”

You sing-songed jokingly as you walked in the door, keys jingling in the lock. When you received no response, your joviality quickly dissipated and a deep frown etched itself into your face.

“Hello?”

You called again, brows furrowed in confusion. You took a few steps into the apartment, hanging your bag on the coatrack and slipping your shoes from your feet. Again, silence.

You went to turn the corner towards where the bedroom side of the studio apartment was, but quickly collided with a warm body as you rounded the bookshelf.

“Jesus fuck!”

You yelped as a hand came out to steady your shoulder, saving you from stumbling backwards on impact.

“You scared me....”

You hesitated, looking up at the man before you cautiously. The scrunch between his brows and hardness in his brown eyes quickly confirmed your suspicions.

“...Marc.”

Marc mistook your brief moment of pause as disappointment, and he sneered, releasing your arm with a small shove and sidestepping you.

“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry to disappoint.”

You blinked a few times in disbelief, frozen in place as his words took a moment to sink in. When they finally did, you were left reeling, whirling around to face his retreating figure with an incredulous expression.

“What?”

Marc huffed angrily, nostrils flaring as he threw himself onto the couch, a hand reaching up to run through his dark hair.

“I said, sorry to disappoint. I’m sure you’d much rather have Steven greeting you when you get home.”

“I never said that.”

You scoffed, approaching him slowly with your arms crossed over your chest. His brown eyes darted up to your face, his lips curled into a scowl.

“You didn’t have to. You’ve made it pretty clear.”

“Where is this coming from, Marc?”

It was a stupid question—both of you knew the answer already. Marc’s nostrils flared as he averted his gaze from you, sulking silently and staring off at some point in the distance.

A pang of guilt accompanied the sigh that fell from your lips as you noticed the slight quiver of his lip, and you made your way to the empty spot next to him.

“Hey.”

You started gently, letting your hand trace across the veins of his forearm before your slid your fingers between his own.

“I’m sorry, Marc. I know—I know things have been moving pretty fast between me and Steven, and I know I haven’t made as much time for you as I should have. I’m sorry.”

You leaned into him, head ducking slightly in an attempt to catch his gaze with your own. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he drew in a long, deep inhalation, before he finally opened them again and fixed them on you.

“No, it’s—it’s okay, baby. I’m glad you and Steven are getting along, that’s exactly what I hoped would happen. And I’m sorry I—I freaked out. Just—miss you, s’all.”

He confessed, a slight blush creeping up his neck and ruddying his cheeks. Marc wasn’t often open about his feelings, so the brief moment of vulnerability was significant. You smiled softly at him, reaching up to brush your fingers through his soft curls.

“Why didn’t you just say so, huh, handsome?”

A smirk quickly made its way across his lips at the insinuation in your tone, his arms swiftly wrapping around your body to haul you up onto his lap and into a searing kiss.

It wasn’t until you were seconds away from an orgasm, Marc’s face buried between your thighs, that you’d fucked up.

“Shit, shit—”

You cried, fisting at the sheets on either side of you as Marc’s tongue swirled over your clit, two of his thick fingers buried in your weeping cunt.

“Oh, God, yes, m’gonna cum, gonna—ahh, fuck, don’t stop, yes, Steven, fuu—”

Your hips lurched off the bed when the stimulation abruptly ceased, your eyes shooting open in alarm only to come face-to-face with Marc’s hardened expression, his lips still shining with your slick.

“Fuck, why’d you—?”

“What the fuck did you just say?”

He interrupted your whiny plea with his threatening words, growled lowly as his eyes narrowed at you. Your rapid heartrate only sped up when you thought back on your pleasured cries, quickly realizing your mistake. You bolted upright in an instant, your eyes wide and panicked, reaching to grip Marc’s bare shoulders.

“Oh, Marc, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

He pulled away from you, rising to his knees on the bed so he loomed over you.

“Get on your knees.”

Your breath stuttered.

“What?”

You yelped when Marc lunged forward, his hand coming to twist in your hair to yank you harshly forward so you were face to face.

“I said,”

he growled, his breath hot on your face and fingers taut in your hair,

“get on your fucking knees.”

He released you with a rough shove and you scrambled off the bed onto your knees, quickly obeying his order. You watched as he slipped off his last remaining layer of clothing before he slowly made his way over to you, his figure towering over you with intimidation and malice. Excitement was beginning to swirl in the pit of your stomach—you’d never seen Marc so angry before, so domineering and unhinged. Still, a small pang of guilt shot through you at your earlier mistake.

“Marc, really, I’m so sorry—”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He snapped, and you immediately obliged, eyes blowing wide at the sternness in his tone. His chest was heaving with labored breaths and his nostrils were flared, eyes alight with fury.

“You just don’t know when to stop fucking talking.”

He was right in front of you, now, languidly stroking his hardened length inches away from your face, precum beading at the slit. He reached forward and roughly grabbed your jaw in his other hand, fingers curling to squeeze your cheeks.

“You wanna keep moaning his name? Guess I’ll have to make you shut up.”

His hand migrated up and wrapped in your hair before yanking your neck back. When your lips parted with a surprised gasp, he immediately plunged his thick length into your mouth, forcing himself down your throat without warning. The sudden and abrupt intrusion caused you to gag harshly, and he pulled out only long enough for you to draw in a gasping breath before he thrusted forward again, sinking his cock all the way back into your throat and beginning a steady rhythm of fucking your face.

“Only way you’ll be quiet is if you’ve got a mouth full of dick, huh?”

He grunted, hips snapping forward. There was drool foaming at the sides of your lips, tears streaming down your cheeks as you forced yourself to sit back and let him use you, the tip of his cock bruising the back of your throat and his balls slapping noisily against your chin.

“Bet you miss him now, don’t you? Steven doesn’t treat you like this—doesn’t know how much of a fucking slut you are.”

You felt yourself grow impossibly wetter at his words, reaching up to brace your hands on his muscular thighs in order to prevent them from reaching between your legs to touch yourself. You felt his arm reach down until his fingers curled around your neck, allowing him to feel each stroke of his cock down your throat.

“Fuck, baby—such a pretty little whore.”

Finally, finally, he pulled out of your mouth, a long string of saliva still connecting the tip of his ruddy cock to your swollen lips. You gasped harshly, letting the mixture of tears and drool drip from your chin as you gazed up and him with watery eyes.

“Thank you, Marc, thank you, I love you, I—”

Marc growled, his grip on your throat tightening and briefly cutting off your airflow.

“Shut. Up.”

He hissed, pulling you upwards with his hand on your neck and tossing you towards the bed. You fell backwards, immediately pliant beneath him as he reached to lift both of your ankles above your head before abruptly plunging his spit-soaked cock into your dripping folds.

A pornographic mewl escaped you at the feeling of him penetrating you, your hole still tight and unprepared for the thickness of his cock. The burn of the stretch was intoxicating, but you were quickly pulled away from the feeling when Marc’s fingers found your jaw again, squeezing your cheeks so your lips involuntarily parted.

“Open.”

He growled, and you obliged, allowing him to spit straight into your awaiting mouth. You whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as he kept railing into you, your mouth closing as his taste overwhelmed you.

“You don’t swallow until I tell you—you hear me?”

You nodded vigorously, eyes silently pleading as tears continued to stream down your face, the sound of slapping skin filling the room as Marc bared his teeth.

“Yeah, that outta wash his name outta your filthy fuckin’ mouth, huh?”

You could barely hear him over the static humming in your ears, an orgasm creeping up and washing over you without warning. You choked on your sob, desperately following Marc’s orders and keeping your mouth full of his saliva despite your desperation to cry out.

Marc felt you clench down on him, and his pace quickened.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby—you cum all over this cock.”

He leaned forward and sank his teeth into the flesh of your collarbone, licking and sucking bruises into your neck and up your throat. You lay helpless beneath him, body melting into the mattress as he continued to pound into you relentlessly, the sting of his lips hot against your sweat-sheened skin.

“Gonna keep you covered in these, baby—he’s never gonna forget who you fuckin’ belong to.”

He grunted in your ear, pulling the lobe between his teeth briefly before sitting back up, shifting up onto his knees and wrapping your legs around his waist before jackhammering into you once again.

He reached forward a final time to wrap his hand around your throat, now covered with red and purple bruises in the shape of his mouth.

“Swallow.”

He panted, his eyes wild and pace faltering.

"Swallow, and tell me who you belong to.”

You swallowed the fluid the had gathered across your tongue and finally let out a salacious moan, back arching off the bed as a second orgasm began building in your abdomen. You could hardly even remember what had started this thing in the first place, and you definitely didn’t care—your entire existence was overwhelmed with Marc, Marc, Marc.

"You, Marc—belong to you."

You cried, and you felt his fingers curl into your neck as he leaned over you, the heat of his body absolutely smothering you as his free hand reached between you to circle your clit. You keened.

“Again. Louder. Who do you belong to?”

“You, Marc—fuck, fuck, Marc, I belong to you, fuck—"

Your climax peaked fiercely, white hot and blinding as your toes curled and your entire body trembled beneath him. The rhythmic clenching of your tight cunt around him had Marc following close behind, his release punctuated by a sharp yelp before he buried himself to the hilt, allowing his seed to fill you completely, offering a few more deep thrusts before stilling.

Marc’s tension-laden body immediately collapsed on top of you, his head tucking into the crook of your neck as his cock stayed nestled inside of you. Your arms wrapped around his clammy torso, one hand stroking a soothing line down his spine and the other brushing through his hair, your lips planting a soft kiss to his forehead. His frantic exhales were hot against your neck.

“I mean it, Marc. I’m yours.”

You assured in a whisper, and Marc tilted his head up to look at you, his once cold eyes now softened with a familiar gentleness.

“I know, baby.”

He leaned up and pecked you on the lips.

“And now you’ll never forget it.”

You let out an airy giggle, sinking back into the comfortable and familiar weight of his body on yours. After a few moments, you bit your lip and gave him a mischievous smile.

“So...when do I get to meet Jake?”

#jake lockley #jake lockley imagine #jake lockley smut #jake lockley x reader #marc spector #marc spector imagine #marc spector smut #marc spector x reader #marvel imagine #marvel smut #steven grant x reader #steven grant smut #steven grant #moon knight #moon knight x reader #moon knight smut #projectionistwrites

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

When the 141 + König try to get your attention.

They'll have extra bandaids, hair scrunchies, socks, and ammo for your favorite guns. Anything you could possibly need as an emergency that you might not get easily. They carry around hygiene products for you too if you need. "Dammit I need." Bam immediately in your hand. "Oh I should have taken extra." Don't worry about it they gave enough for a month. Have an illness or need medication they have the supplies you need on hand always. You're tired and can't sleep because you have watch? Oops your shift has been covered, go get some rest.

Ghost:

You've noticed it eventually. He's always got whatever you need and soon it becomes so regular that you're just subconsciously turning to him when you need something. He's always got it too. Without fail. It's not till Price, smug as fly shit, tells you Ghost is covering your night shift that you make the decision to confront him. In the military a man doing you favors could mean anything positive or negative but it could definitely be used against you. You find him and sidled up next to his side. "What are you doing?" You ask eventually. He grunts, pretending to be confused. "You're always doing me favors on the field and now you're taking my watch. What do you want?" He looks down at you. "Don't want anything." His sentence feels incomplete and you just glare up at him. A sigh and then, "Alright I do want something." Ice crawls through your stomach. You had hoped it was just him trying to make you feel comfortable in the group but no, there was a string. You look out to the range and track in your base. "Name it." You bite the words, trying to shove as much terror as you can in to your sentence. "Go to dinner with me." A beat, you inhale, another beat and you decide whether or not this counts as harassment. "You've been doing this to...get me to go on a date?" Trying to make the situation clear from your perspective. "Can't really flirt to save your life, the only way I knew what to do. I'll still do it. I just want you. You're a damn good soldier and an asset to the team. And you leave your work out of the base. The team likes you." He tilts your head back to him, as gently as anything. "I like you."

You loved your dinner and plan more date nights.

Soap

With Johnny it was harder to figure out if something was going on. He was always carrying extra things for the team. Ammo, meds, clothes, whatever. It's not until you get a smoke grenade to the face and you have to rip your contacts out to flush your face properly that you don't have extra, and your goggles that have your prescription is in your room. Keeping the pillows company. "Fuck all this." You're basically blind without them and there's no way you can fake it till you're back to base. It was stupid and careless. Price was going to have a field day with this after he reams you for an hour at least. "You alright?" Soap slumped down next to your still prone body. "No it's dumb I left my glasses and contacts. I'm going to have to evac. Or just wait." Soap laughs and you're about to get mad before he pulls out goggles for you. It's your old script but it's not too bad. You make it back to base with nothing more than a headache from your aching eyes. There's no reason he should have your old glasses. In fact, it's made you start to question how he always knows where you leave your things. He's genuinely nice and not in a bad way, even Ghost is gentle around him. Still, you need to talk, cause that's weird. Looking around you find him and you ask him to follow you in to the conference room. He does, glancing at you in confusion. You keep your face neutral and when the two of you sit down he's relaxed but nervous. "Everything alright?" "No not really, why do you have my old glasses? Pretty sure I threw those out, plus it's weird that you always know where I lose things." You lay out your concerns and his shoulders drop. "One, yes I notice where you lose things but you're always losing things and it makes you frustrated. So I've just been making sure to pay attention when you put something down or when you drop something. Two, you did throw them out but I had an extra from when your glasses once on a mission. So I've always kept one just in case. I'm sorry I made you unsettled. I really meant no harm. Plus I, wait no, sorry not the time." He waves his hand. "No no go on it's ok." You feel comfortable again and willing to go back to how it was before and hopefully set boundaries better for yourself. He leans forward. "I like you. I've been trying to get you to look at me, actually look at me." You feel your face go hot. "Dinner, maybe? Or something?" He continues, trying not to laugh at your agape expression.

You have dinner and a movie and happily wonder what your next date will be

Gaz

You were so focused on getting your exercise this morning done before it got too busy that you missed the breakfast call. 'Dammit!' There was no way it wasn't packed with people now. All the good food would be taken and you are not going to touch those breakfast bars, more crumb than food honestly. You make your way to your room, hoping that you would have something in your stash of snacks. As you comb through your drawers you find a single bag of popcorn. You had been meaning to go up to the shops and restock but you've been so busy or do tired lately. And now your stomach was growling. Great. You finished your popcorn on the way to the mess hall. The line was long but you slide in and wait. "Hey morning." Gaz bumps your shoulder friendly. "Hey!" You smile, he was always nice to you, and welcomed you to the group easily. "Got your favorites already don't worry about the line." He points over where the 141 was sat and a plate in front of an empty chair. You frown, "Yeah those are my favorites? How did you?" Gaz scoffs. "You eat like the same 6 things it's not hard to remember." Actually now that you think about it, he always makes sure you had your favorite food. Even if he for sure had to go out of his way. He looks over to your concerned face. "Hey you ok?" "No that's really weird. But thank you I think." You pick up your plate and go back to your room. It's too loud and the sound of other people chewing makes you want to scream today. Gaz followed you. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." You sigh and stop. "I'm good at what I do except this. Let me start over. You, me, dinner?" He asks and you look over to him. Before you can stop it a smile creeps over your face. "You were flirting?" He laughs, sheepish. "Badly, obviously." You shake your head, still smiling. "Ok you know what? Dinner sounds nice."

You both enjoy dinner so much that you end up taking all your meals alone together. It becomes so commonplace that Price sends those fold away tables to your rooms.

Price

You were new and the transition from your old squad to the 141 was strange. The base was private, secluded and unfortunately for you the nearest stores were about 15 miles away. It made shopping for hygiene products so annoying so you had to stock up. Until you had been gone for two months on a mission and you came back smelling awful and you had been run ragged and all you wanted was a shower and maybe a two week nap. You walked up to the base and Price walked out. "Good to see you, welcome back." "Good to be back Sir. I'll feel better after I get settled." He laughed and walked you in. "We had a bit of a move around. Your room was moved." Nervous now you followed him. "Something happen?" Shaking his head, Price lead you to a new door. "I should have had this done before but it turns out there's no real way to get plumbing to where your room was so we moved you here." You walked in and your things had been carefully moved. Wait. "Plumbing?" "Built you your own bathroom. Little bit of your own space." "I don't understand. I was fine with the one we already had." You looked under the sink and there was one more box of pads and tampons you absolutely were sure you didn't buy. That was creepy. "Let me know when you need new ones by the way I'll put in the order." Your head was screaming danger. No man in his position of power would just do that for no reason. Danger. No one would build a bathroom for one person and get the exact private things you would usually get. Danger. Slowly you stood up. Option One, get a hold of someone above Price and get out of here quickly and quietly Option Two be nice and grateful, (which you are Ghost and Soap are big fans of bathroom sex and any chance to not see that again was fantastic), but see if you can get out of this room without him noticing you freaking out. "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing your tension. Fuck, option one then. "It's kind of weird you know my order and the things I get. You also built me this. Captain, you have to know how this looks." You turn and face him. He looks at you and the gears start to turn. "Oh shit. No it's not like that I completely understand. I'm just trying to make you feel at ease. Give you your own space. Also your products are coming out of the squad budget so it's not any string I had to pull. I only noticed what they were when it was being packed away." You really think about it. Mull it over and over and slowly nod. "Then.. thank you Captain. I do appreciate it. It's so nice." Your own bathroom. You would have killed for this in your old squad. "Just want to take off my favorite girl." There he goes again. The easy banter. "I thought it was no big deal." You tease. "If I wasn't your favorite girl then you wouldn't do this?" He chuckles. "No I would. I wouldn't have any ideas about what goes on in this shower but I would still make it happen." "What kind of ideas?" You lean on the doorframe and he takes a few steps to you. "Let me show you."

You must have been in there a while because when you both make your way to the kitchen Ghost and Johnny are sitting around looking vaguely impatient. "Thank fuck." Ghost sighs and Johnny laughs. "Finally done? Thought you'd never finish."

König

You and König are good friends coming in at the same time, the two of you bond over trying to figure out your place in the squad. He's got your back and you've got his. When you get stuck in rain or fall in to water puddles too deep and they seep through your boots, he always has an extra pair of socks with him. Or a shirt when you need to rip one for an impromptu bandage. But it's especially odd when he happens to have a belt that is your size that you use to hold up a gun you swipped off an enemy body. "We're gonna talk about this when we get back." You tell him, matter of factly. And you do. You come up to his room and he let's you in. His body language is tense and he's actively making himself look as small and non-threatening as is physically impossible. "You always have spare clothes for me. You always have a hair tie or like today with a belt that I checked and is my size. It certainly isn't yours. So what's going on?" He slumps, and admits that he just wants to take care of you. "I'm not sure why I picked that but. For me it's strange I have to order my clothes or make them so I always like to make sure that you have clothes? I think. I'm not sure what I mean." He stands up and your eyes follow his. "I'm sorry my dear for upsetting you." You scoff and wave him off. "It's not weird you didn't upset me. Besides I think it's kind of cute that's how you show you care." König runs his hand over yours. "I do care. A lot. So much it drives me mad sometimes." He leans down, your head straining back, baring your neck to him. "Show me." You plead. "Not yet. I'm told I need to wine and dine before indulging, no?" You can see his eyes crinkle in mirth and damn if that isn't cute and hot at the same time.

"Ok I'm dined, I'm wined. Can we indulge now?" His laugh, deep and warm, is a balm and a flame at the same time.

Can you tell König is my favorite? None of this is healthy btw. I'm walking through the factory where they make the red flags and I'm asking for the gift shop and menu anyway. I need an exorcism.

Edit: can't believe I forgot Kyle. Ugh. Sorry for the late addition folx

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #könig #könig x y/n #ghost x reader #soap x reader #könig x reader #price x reader #ghost x y/n #kyle gaz garrick #kyle x reader

[nakajimeow]

SELF-CARE TIPS FOR WRITERS

I do these to keep my mental/physical health well in order to write properly. I do not want to be stressed out whenever I am writing and also in order to avoid being in a rut.

REST YOUR EYES !! It is very important to take breaks from staring at our screens due to writing. You can nap or constantly blink to avoid eye strain/dry eyes.

DRINK WATER AND STAY HYDRATED. In my experience, staying hydrated gives me energy and avoids headaches. (PAIR THIS ALONG WITH A HEALTHY DIET TOO.)

FIX YOUR POSTURE. I know it is challenging to maintain good posture but it is a remarkably good investment. Sitting down while writing with a bad posture can cause us to have back/shoulder pains.

SLEEP !! Maintaining good sleep for about 8 - 10 hours helped my brain to function well. Lack of sleep gave me confusion and writer's block every time I tried to write. Plus, feeling sleepy and tired too.

EXCERCISE. I work out for 5 to 10 minutes or if I do not feel like it, instead, I do 5-minute yoga stretches. I could not believe it at first but this boosted my productivity and motivation.

JOURNAL !! Write down your thoughts, rants, and gratitude. Journaling helped me to let go of the heavy baggage I was carrying. I was skeptical at first because I thought it would not work but it made my mental health better and gave me clarity (it cleared all of my messy thoughts). I also used my daily documentation of my life as an inspiration for writing.

reblog to help other writers !!

#writerblr #writeblr #writer things #writing #creative writing #writerscommunity #writing tips #writing advice #writing resources #writing help #how to write #writing tips and tricks #writer block #website #resources #for future reference #links #writing prompt #writing prompts #screenwriting #writers on tumblr #writing encouragement #writing inspiration #writing motivation #writers of tumblr

[thefirsthogokage]

Very helpful thread made for those walking the picket lines by an EMT in Florida:

(screen shots from here on out. Too many images to put in one post. Sorry for the dark mode switch ahead of time)

[Image ID: a tweet thread made by @TheMaryGirls on July 18th, 2023 that reads in its entirety (though combined where appropriate and tweet numbers removed for condensing):

This is for the strikers everywhere since I'm nowhere near a picket line. This is the least I can do:

I am an EMT in Florida, one of the hottest states in the country on a regular basis. These are things you can do to protect yourself from the heat

1. Water

Water is great, your body needs it to live. You can go longer without food than you can without water. It's vital. If you become too dehydrated you can lapse into something called Hypovolemic shock which is the most dangerous form of shock because, usually, by the time you realize something is wrong, you're already in a bad position.

When you sweat, you're not just losing water. You're also losing salt, potassium, chloride, magnesium, & calcium. To combat this, you should drink something with electrolytes.

You can also eat a banana in order to avoid cramping that can occur with the loss of potassium. You don't want to be the one doing the Charley Horse Hustle on the line when people have phone cameras. You can also eat fruit and veg with high water content. They helps.

A word of caution about ice water. I know the idea of a big bottle of ice water sounds great when you're sweating your balls off on the line but NO! That can be dangerous. Your body temperature is up due to the heat. You chug a bottle of ice water like you used to do with Smirnoff Ice in college, you'll regret it. Ice water will cause your body temperature to drop which fraks up your homeostasis. You can experience stomach craps, fainting, and, on some weird occasions, cardiac arrest. Face planting on the pavement isn't cute.

One way you CAN use ice water safely is by soaking a t-shirt or towel and putting it on your head to help cool you off. Also, cold rags around the wrists can also cool you down. You've seen construction workers with the t-shirts on their heads? This is why.

2. Whole body

If you get blisters on your feet, you need to treat them. Also, don't force pop them, you're just asking for trouble. When they rupture, they need to be cleaned with soap and water (no alcohol or peroxide) and protected. Band-Aids won't really help here.

Band-Aids can easily slip off and give bacteria a chance to move in and really get gross. Liquid bandage is the better option. It's waterproof but it does sting when you put it on so be warned.

If you experience muscle cramps on the line, you need to deal with them. This is your bodies way of telling you something is wrong. Sit down, drink something. Stretching before picketing can also help prevent them. Let's be honest, as writers, we sit. A LOT.

Going from a cave dwelling hermit to bright sunlight and exercise is going to piss your entire system off. Icy Hot and hot baths will be your friend.

3. Dehydration warning signs.

Muscle cramps

light headed

headaches

feeling very thirsty

dark urine

urinating less often

feeling tired

dry mouth, lips, or tongue

skin tenting

confusion

That's all that I can think of at the moment.

GO FUCK EM UP!!!!!!!

/End ID]

Bonus:

[Image ID: Tweeted comment on the thread from @/sardoniccomment that reads:

Every word of this is good advice, but, as a former desert-dweller, there’s something I need to add: dehydration makes you stupid. It can literally prevent you from being able to figure out the source of your problems is dehydration.

/End ID]

#medical advice #surviving heat #wga strike #sag aftra strike #double strike 2023

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Farmer's Daughter 8

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall

Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You finally manage to quell your sobs. A slight trickle stains your cheeks and falls onto Walter’s shirt. You sniffle and reach to wipe your nose with the back of your hand. As you do, your fingers brush against his chest. 

You hear his heartbeat, steady as you’re anything but. He’s warm and soft and sturdy. You feel a sudden rush of guilt for spilling all this out on him. You slowly sit up, pulling away as Walter gently, almost reluctantly, slackens his embrace. 

“I’m sorry, I–” you raise your head but find your words smothered.

You don’t realise what’s going on at first. Walter’s hand cradles your face as his lips press to yours, tilting your chin up as his thumb slides under it. You hum in surprise, eyes round as the scent of his sweat invades your nose.

You put your hand flat to his chest and push. You bring your other up and shove until he lets you go. His arm falls away and you turn, shifting and sliding off the step. You stand, dizzy and confused, clutching your splitting head.

“I… I’m sorry,” he stammers as he rises too.

You run past him up the steps, legs wobbling, skull pulsing from the hangover of your grief. You push the door inwards and clamour inside. You don’t stop. You barrel upstairs and down to your door, swinging inside with a careless snap of wood on wood.

You lean on the door and slowly slide down, knees bent to your chest as you hang your head forward and shield it with your arms. You hear shuffling and a set of hinges groan. Footsteps pad quietly outside your door.

“Honey, are you okay?” Your mom calls through.

“Yes,” you force out evenly, the effort further thumping in your temples.

“Oh, uh, I’ll be downstairs,” she says, her voice silty with sleep, “you in the mood for coffee?”

“No thank you,” you eke out.

You wait until she’s gone before you can breathe again. It can’t be real. That can’t have happened. You really didn’t believe it when your mother said it. Walter? Why would he ever think of you like that? And now? Of all times?

Your father is sick, your mother is in shambles, and life is already so complicated. It isn’t that he’s a bad guy, he’s nice and helpful and all of that. It’s just that you’re already scared and lost. It would only make things so much more complicated.

🌾

You stay in your room for the rest of the night. When your mother comes to check on you, you tell her you have cramps. Your period isn’t due anytime soon but PMS can be a bitch. Just as much as life can.

She leaves a plate on your nightstand regardless and you thank her. You’re not very hungry and only pick at it before giving up on the meal. You wallow in your restless discomfort. Your head pounds until you’re nearly delirious.

You fall into a sleep less than refreshing. Your headache follows you into the void and its shadow greets you with the daylight. You wake and roll over, unready for the day but knowing you must face it. You wash and dress and head down to pretend everything is okay. Again.

You start on breakfast as your mom has yet to appear. You don’t mind, it keeps you busy. You count out the eggs and strips of bacon, a few sausages too. You stack a plate with bread ready to toast and yawn over the percolator as you put it on to boil.

You hear tires and an engine. You go rigid, frozen as you stand at the counter. What do you do? Go get your mother? Help her with dad? Or Timothy? He can keep Walter distracted.

Too late. There’s footsteps on the porch then a tap on the frame of the screen door. You panic and clear your throat. Nothing happened. Nothing’s changed.

“Come on in,” you call and pull out a skillet to heat up.

The front door opens and your ears tweak as you listen to his movement. Deliberate and drawn out, as if he’s also avoiding you. You keep your back to the door as you work at the stove, adding a touch of oil to the pan.

He enters, his shadow flickering over the wall, and you sense him. Is he watching you? You refuse to look back and check in fear of being caught. You grab the sausage and the bacon and lay them out on an oven sheet.

“Good morning,” Walter says.

“Good morning,” you return in a small squeak.

He’s silent. Neither of you know what to say. Each time you try to think of something, the friction of your lips remind you of the feel of his. You hadn’t been thinking in the moment but you remember how soft but determined he was.

Why would he do that? After you were just bawling on his shoulder? Seeing you like that, a mess, vulnerable, half-broken? Your stomach knots as you keep your hands moving and eyes averted.

“How are you?” He asks in a strained timbre.

“Fine,” you answer sharply, taking a breath to ease your tone, “you?”

“Tired,” he says, “you need any help?”

He steps forward and you shy away. You stop yourself from going any further and shake your head, “I got it.”

“Right, I…” he begins.

“Alright, Patty,” your mom’s voice wafts from upstairs, “that’s it. You’re doing so well.”

“Oh, I gotta–”

You turn with the spatula and nearly run into Walter as he also moves towards the door. You stop as you face each other, wavering as you stare. His jaw squares and his cheek twitches, his eyes sparkling.

“You’re cooking. I’ll help.”

“Really, you do too much–”

“I know,” he agrees staunchly and turns away, “too damn much.”

He strides out and you stand there. What does he mean? Too much of what? Well, you can’t ask from him. He has helped more than he should, but is that what he means? Or does he mean… that? 

He wouldn’t just walk away because of that, would he?

#walter marshall #dark walter marshall #dark!walter marshall #walter marshal x reader #drabble #au #backwoods au #series #the farmer's daughter #night hunter

[rockatanskette]

Semi-related to my post on how human conservation practices, but I have a cold today, and it's got me thinking about biological altruism—the biological imperative to put other creatures ahead of yourself, to benefit the group.

When talking about possible interactions with other species, we talk a lot about humans being crazy and thrill-seeking and impossible to kill. Never use a warning shot as an incentive to keep humans out of a fight; it'll just make them angry. And that's true. But a valid criticism I've seen in the "Earth is a death world" community is that according to our understanding of evolution, every planet must be some form of death world. Competition fosters evolution—the wolf with sharper claws survives when its litter mates die. You can't reach space travel without some casualties along the way.

But the dog survives because it makes friends with the strange ape carrying a sharp stick. And the strange ape survives because it befriends the wolf. Underneath the death world is an inextricable and undeniable layer of the bond world; the love world; the world, together.

I imagine some worlds are not death worlds. They're peaceful and tranquil. I suspect there are worlds far more deadly than Earth, where the skies rain diamonds, harder than any substance we know with the species to match. And I imagine that they are united in their confusion at the duality of humankind.

Today is a great example: I have a cold, and I want someone to take care of me, but the people who would are immunocompromised, also sick, or live 8 hours away, respectfully. I also want no one within the walls of my apartment or I will eat them. I feel gross, I feel tired, and I don't want a single human being anywhere near me, even if they did bring soup.

In my constant scrolling through my phone today, I decided to look up why the hell I feel so bad—why everyone feels so bad when they're ill. And the answer surprised me. I always thought it was because your immune system is active, so it's using a lot of your energy. That is part of it. Another part is that your brain and body are communicating across the blood-brain barrier to fight the infection, which is rare and energetically expensive.

But that doesn't explain everything, and according to more current research, it could also be what's called the Eyam Hypothesis: that we feel so gross, so we instinctively isolate from other people. We're too tired to deal with others, and so we don't infect them. Misanthropy for the good of the species. Of course, it can also backfire: one of the criticisms of the Eyam Hypothesis is that humans also instinctively care for each other. If my brother has a headache, I drive to the store for Advil.

Personally, I think it's a little bit of both: biological altruism. Either way, the majority live on. The first thought I had this morning when I woke up wasn't "I feel gross" it was "there's no way I'm going to work today." And while that might not be everyone's first thought, you don't even have to be a particularly altruistic person to not want to leave your home or your bed when you're sick. It's inborn.

And so when the human named Ismail comes down with a case of the interstellar common cold, his alien friend Dyos grows very concerned. Ismail is usually intensely social, almost off-puttingly so. Some crew members joke about how his quarters are for sleeping and prayer only; if he's home alone? You should be worried. But when Dyos demands an answer to the severity of Ismail's malady, the other humans just nod knowingly.

"Nah, he's okay, the medics already cleared him. It's not a severe infection."

"But there are so many...fluids. And his body has changed color."

There is a moment of confusion there until they remember that Dyos's species can see in the infrared color spectrum.

"Nah, that's just a low-grade fever. It should break in the next couple days."

"But he doesn’t want to play chess today," Dyos insists.

"Ohhhh," says human Claudia, finally understanding. "No, that's normal. Humans don't like being around other people when they're sick, it's supposed to be one of the major evolutionary advantages. Protect your community from your illness and the genes live on."

"So we're just going to leave him alone?" Dyos is troubled by this. He can go for weeks without speaking to another life form, but he has seen Ismail grow despondent when unable to participate in social gathering.

"Oh, no," human Claudia says, laughing. "We're going to employ one of the other most longstanding human evolutionary advantages."

There are many to choose from and Dyos settles on, "middle age?"

"Sort of," human Claudia opens up a small shipping container and holds up a brown paper bag tied with a colorful ribbon. It glows brightly in Dyos's vision, almost as brightly as human Claudia's smile. "His nanni's hot soup, express delivery."

#i feel like this is the one that's going to get discourse and to that i say: #stop it i no feel good #we can talk about other human responses to disease when my skull goes back to being the right temperature #send good feelings the us postal service won't let my babushka send me soup #anyway #humans are human #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #earth is space australia #earth is a death world #earth is a bond world #lemme know if i forgot any of the main ones

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae! I absolutely adore you and your writing, you truly have a gift!

Can I please request something with James Potter where readers anxiety is really bad and is super emotional cause pms and is just kinda struggling and needs to be dealt with the most gently? Totally not projecting much at all lol 😬😫🤣

Totally no pressure if you don’t feel up to it! I love reading anything you write ❤️❤️

Hi lovely, thanks so much!!

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 772 words

“Here y’go, love.” James presses a mug’s handle into your hands, and you take it quickly once you realize he’s holding the hot sides. 

“James!” you hiss, chiding. “You’re going to burn yourself.”

Only James Potter could make a shrug seem fond. He sits down beside you on the couch, hand resting on your thigh, and the knee you hadn’t realized you’d been jiggling slows to a stop. 

“What’s eating you?” he asks mildly, rubbing you from knee to hip as he sips his tea, quietly hinting for you to do so as well. 

You sigh, blowing on your tea before raising it to your lips. “Nothing so important I should be this stressed about it,” you say bitterly. “It’s just PMS.” 

You hate how your hormones mess with you around this time of the month. It makes it feel like you can’t trust yourself, because you’re never sure if the emotions you’re experiencing are valid or amplified by your body’s punishing cycle. Your already oversensitive nerves go into overdrive, and you feel three times as susceptible to bouts of rage or crying, though which one it’ll be is as good as a coin toss. Everything is just more, and all the time, and it sucks. 

James makes a sad puppy sound. “Yeah? Are you hurting, honey?” 

“Not really.” You have a headache, but that’s probably more due to your anxiety than anything else. 

“Well, why don’t you try telling me what’s bothering you,” James suggests. “Even if you think it’s not a big deal, maybe I can help.” 

You sigh again, a heaving, dramatic exhale. “Macy’s having a birthday party this weekend.” 

That surprises a smile out of James, and he tilts his head to look at you bemusedly. “Oh, how nefarious! Shall we curse her?” 

You give him a look that says not funny, even as your own lips curl up slightly. James smothers his grin as best he can (which is to say, not very well), nodding at you seriously to continue. 

“I just—” you heave another sigh, and James’ hand redoubles its efforts on your leg, squeezing the fatty inner part encouragingly. “I’m not going to know anyone there, and I’m going to have to go straight after work on Friday, and she and her friends always stay out so much later than I want to. I just know I’m going to be exhausted.” 

“Okay.” James is nodding, still looking slightly confused. “So don’t go.” 

“But it’s her birthday,” you say, the last syllable taking an unexpected turn into whiny territory as your eyes grow wet. “I don’t have an excuse to miss it and I’ll be the worst friend in the world if I do.” 

“Sweetheart, hey.” James’ voice takes on a slight panicked edge due to the appearance of tears, though you can tell he’s trying to be soothing. His hand abandons your leg to snake around your waist, scrubbing up and down your side. “Honey, you’re a great friend. You’re just looking out for yourself a little bit,” he promises, kissing the top of your head. “Let’s think about who’s going to be more upset, alright? If you miss it, Macy might be a bit sad you didn’t come, but she’s still got all of her other friends who don’t know you anyway, and the party will probably go on as it would have. But if you go, you’ll have to hurry there straight after work, you might be too tired to be much fun, and you could end up miserable the whole night. Sound right?” You nod wretchedly, and he hums into your hair. “So just miss this one, and make it up to her with lunch or something another time, yeah?” At your hesitation, he adds, “You have plans Friday night, you can’t make it.” 

You look up at James. “I don’t have plans, though. I don’t want to lie to her.” 

“Sure you do, sweetheart,” he contradicts you, grinning. “You have plans with me, duh. You’ve only been friends with Macy for a couple months, right?” You nod. “Well then sorry, Macy, but I’m pulling rank.” You laugh, and James swoops down to kiss at your dimple when it appears. “I need my girl for Friday night. She’s pre-engaged.” 

James can never stop kissing once he’s gotten started, and you hide your cheek from him in his own chest, wrapping your arms around his waist in an awkward sort of hug. “Thanks, Jamie.” 

You can still hear the smile in his voice. “Anytime, my love. Now, since that’s been resolved, do you think you can drink your tea? It’s gonna get cold.”

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter x self insert #james potter fanfiction #james potter fanfic #james potter fic #james potter fluff #james potter imagine #james potter oneshot #james potter drabble #james potter one shot #james potter scenario #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fanfic #marauders fic #the marauders era #marauders fandom #hp marauders

[python333]

soft spot — python333

— — — —

synopsis you've been having a bad day, and ghost feels like being extra nice to you. plot twist you're an age regressor and him being so nice is NOT helping.

relationships platonic agere cg!ghost & gn little!reader.

characters ghost.

word count 6.7k.

warnings a victorious reference, age regressor reader, usage of c/n [call sign/code name], 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself]

note please feel free to attack me as much as you want if this is inaccurate. i don't even care if it's not constructive criticism. i am begging for everyone's thoughts and opinions on this!! this is also the longest oneshot i think i've ever written!

“Having fun there?” 

You turn in your seat and find Ghost leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and one eye slightly wider than the other—an indication that his eyebrow is raised. 

“Not really,” You answer, setting down your gun. You’d been disassembling it, trying to take your mind off of the slowly growing headache that’s been building up for the past few hours. You don’t think it’s a migraine or anything, but it still bothers you greatly. 

“Yeah, no, I can tell,” Ghost chuckles, pushing himself off of the door frame and walking over to you. He eyes your gun for a moment, the magazine already removed as well as any live rounds left in the rifle ejected, and the bolt locked to the rear. You were only maybe a quarter of the way through your disassembly, even though you started around thirty minutes ago. 

For some reason, you woke up upset today. You were too tired, you felt awfully sluggish, and there was a throbbing pain clustered in the back of your eyebrows. So, in short—you were reasonably very upset. It showed visibly in the way your eyes twitched every so often, and in the way you felt the need to pinch the bridge of your nose to distract you from the pain that was still building up behind your brows. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, leaning on the table. 

“I have this headache that won’t go away,” You respond, sighing as you move your gaze from your gun to Ghost. You can barely see it, but from his eyes you can tell that his face scrunches up beneath his mask. He knows a thing or two about bad headaches, being someone who frequently gets migraines himself. 

“Have you taken any meds for it?” You shake your head ‘no’. Ghost holds up a single finger in a ‘one moment’ motion and rummages through the pockets on his tactical vest for a moment, before he pulls out a small bottle of ibuprofen no bigger than his palm. He hands it to you. 

“Here.” You blink at it for a moment. 

“Thanks,” You take the bottle gingerly and Ghost nods, watching you as you struggle with the child-proof lid for a second before getting it open. You shake out a small tablet, one the size of a low-dosage aspirin, and pop it into your mouth. You don’t have much of an issue dry-swallowing it, and it only takes one attempt before you successfully swallow the tablet.

“You’ve been feeling pretty bad this whole week, haven’t you?” Ghost frowns underneath his mask. 

You think for a moment before nodding, “Yeah, I guess. I think it’s mostly just stress.” 

You know it’s not just stress. 

For a while now, you’ve used something called ‘age regression’ as a form of stress relief. You don’t know exactly when it started, but you do know that it was before you were recruited for the 141. And originally, you made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t regress while on base, and you kept that promise for maybe a month before you broke it. 

You think it was Ghost that was the trigger, actually. You can vividly remember the first time you regressed while on base; you had just finished talking to Ghost, and he called you something—you think he called you something similar to ‘kid’—that made a flip in your mind switch immediately. You can remember excusing yourself from the conversation quickly, leaving your lieutenant slightly confused but otherwise unbothered by the strange action. 

And, worst of all, you can remember being in your quarters and practically burrowing under your blankets. You were curled up into a fetal position, trying to fight the urge to suck on your thumb or at least chew on something, but ultimately lost the fight and succumbed to your urges. You spent maybe a few hours like that, wide awake when you just wanted to try and sleep it away, thinking about that interaction you had with Ghost over and over again. 

You’re not stupid. You know that Ghost has some sort of soft spot for you—albeit, you don’t know exactly how soft that soft spot is, but it’s definitely soft. Soft enough that he goes the tiniest bit easier on you compared to other recruits, soft enough that he spares you more time than he does for others, and the most obvious of all—he initiates most of your conversations. 

Contrary to popular belief, he’s not the scary super-soldier most people think of him as. Sure, maybe he is kind of scary, and maybe his mask does jumpscare you when you’re doing missions in particularly dark spaces sometimes, but other than that he’s not scary in the slightest. If anything, he’s awkward. Awkward enough that he’s almost never the first person to talk to someone—except for you, of course. You don’t know why he acts so differently around you, but you don’t complain about it. 

“That’s rough,” Ghost looks down at you with concerned, empathetic eyes, “Sorry you’re so stressed. Mind me askin’ why?” 

“I don’t, but I also don’t know why I’m so stressed,” You huff out, even though you know the answer completely. You stand up, “I think it’s just me being sleep deprived. I’ve been having the tiniest bit of trouble falling asleep lately.” 

“You should’ve told me earlier,” Ghost tuts, “I have melatonin.” 

You give him a confused look. “You do?” 

“‘Course I do.” 

You blink at him for a moment before sighing, “Could I have some then?” 

“What’s the magic word?” You give him an unimpressed look, ignoring the way the words make your stomach twist, and his eyes crinkle in a way that lets you know that he’s grinning under his mask. 

“Could I please have some melatonin?” 

“The magic word was lotion, but I’ll let it slide,” Ghost hums, “There’s some in my office. I’ll grab it for you later.” 

“M’kay,” You look over at the door, unintentionally zoning out as you do. Your vision goes unfocused as the throbbing pain behind your eyebrows grows and something else grows inside of you. 

Jesus. Why can’t you choose any other time to get the urge to slip into a younger mentality? Why does your headache have to make everything worse for you? Why does Ghost have to be so nice and helpful? 

“Hey,” Ghost frowns, tapping a finger on your shoulder to snap you out of whatever trance you’re in, “[c/n]?” 

Oh God. 

Your eyes—that you try desperately to keep neutral—meet Ghost’s, his eyes soft and his eyebrows dipped downwards in a confused manner. His eyes are searching, flitting over you, trying to find something. The way he looks at you makes you want to squirm, and you can’t help but just slightly shuffle in place. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks, voice as concerned as his look. That should be the breaking point for you, but you remain as big as you can be, and nod affirmatively. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You try to assure him, hoping you don’t sound as nervous as you feel, “I think I’m just a little tired.” 

Ghost doesn’t look convinced. 

He puts a hand on your shoulder, the act like a hammer putting another dent in the wall you had put up. The leather of his glove is warm even through the thick material of your shirt, and it feels like hot metal against your cold skin, the clothing covering your shoulder be damned. 

“You can tell me if you’re not okay,” He tells you—what is he doing? Does he know something I don’t?—while his thumb starts rubbing circles into your shoulder, “I feel like you’re more than a little tired.” 

You stay silent for a little bit. You don’t know how to explain yourself, the words seeming to liquify and leak right out of you, making you speechless. He seems to notice this, sighing and letting his hand slip down to your hand, holding it and giving it a quick squeeze. 

“I think,” He looks around for a moment before turning back to you, “that we should head to my office so that nobody can bother us, and then you can tell me all about how you’re feeling right now. Does that sound okay?” 

You nod wordlessly, not trusting yourself to talk with how heavy your tongue feels, and you let Ghost lead you back to his office. It’s only a hallway away, but that’s still enough time to overthink everything that could possibly happen. How does he know something’s wrong? What gave it away? Did I do something bad? What did I do? Wh—

The creak of his office door opening snaps you out of your thoughts, and Ghost steps aside to let you enter his office first. Hesitantly, you take a few steps inside, and you hear the door click shut behind you as Ghost walks in. He takes your hand again, making you look at him as he guides you to a chair. 

You sit in the chair that’s in front of his desk, and he quickly drags out the chair that’s behind it so that it’s right next to yours. He sits down. 

He’s looking at you expectantly. 

“Uh.” You’re not sure what to say. He’s looking at you so reassuringly, it’s hard to keep yourself sitting upright. 

“I know something’s wrong,” Ghost says, leaning forward the tiniest bit, “I need you to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” 

He’s got to have at least some idea of what you’re experiencing, You think, trying to form some sort of explanation, He’s being so… weird? 

You swear there’s some other word you could use, but your vocabulary feels so limited, and you would mentally curse if you could because you know that now your explanation is gonna sound weird. You can’t use the words you want, you’re gonna be forced to use simple words, ones that can’t convey exactly how you feel. Words that—and it physically pained you to admit this—were childish. 

You can explain your situation. Just, now it would be more… blunt. And short. And also you’d feel like killing yourself afterwards. You won’t, obviously, but you can predict that you’ll come very close to doing so.

Okay, I have to say something because Ghost is looking more and more worried the longer I stay silent. 

“I feel…” You trail off for a moment, trying to get your thoughts in order for the next two seconds to actually say something that makes sense, before continuing in a far less confident tone, “… small.” 

The moment the words leave your mouth, you regret it. Ew. Ew. Ew. What. Why? Why that word? It leaves a sour taste on your tongue and yet you can’t think of any other word that would better suit how you feel. Still. Ew. 

Your thoughts are a jumbled mess ranging from fleeting thoughts of disgust to thoughts lodged in the back of your mind begging you to go anywhere else just so that you can stop having to have this conversation. This conversation requires words bigger than you have access to, and a sort of control over yourself that you can’t grasp. You can feel your hands twitching, wanting something to hold onto, anything to keep you distracted from the overwhelming urge to just regress. 

Ghost blinks. He didn’t expect that answer. 

“Small?” He repeats in a questioning tone, eyebrows furrowed, “I mean, compared to me, I guess you’re kind of short—” 

“No, no, not like short small,” You try to clarify, feeling just slightly discouraged by Ghost’s confused words, “Like…” 

You struggle to find the words that properly describe how you feel, only finding words like small and little in your current vocabulary. Your findings are making you increasingly upset, and you can feel your face start to grow hot with frustration and embarrassment. 

Oh my God. 

“Like…?” Ghost nudges your knee with his, trying to encourage you to talk, “I’m not leaving until you tell me.” 

There’s still a level of care in his words, no matter how confused he seems, and that adds all the more struggle to your predicament. Not only do you not want to tell him, but you can’t describe how you feel in a way that’s acceptable for someone your age to describe anything. At least, not in a way that you deem acceptable for yourself to describe anything. 

You’re far too old to be describing yourself as small. 

“[c/n]?” Ghost nudges you again, and you blink at him. Your eyes are flickering all over his mask, going anywhere but his eyes, since eye contact with anyone would make everything significantly worse for you right now. 

“It’s just—” You try to take a deep breath but your breath hitches. Everything is starting to make you feel so frustrated, and you’re starting to think that you might just throw a tantrum if you can’t do at least one thing right. You try to find the words you want to use but your throat is disobediently closing on you. Your mind feels like straight mush, and the quickly softening look that Ghost is giving you isn’t helping you at all. 

To your horror, in your inexplicable inability to talk in the way you normally do, you let out a small whine. It sounds obnoxious to your ears, and worst of all, sounds like something a little kid would do. 

You put your head in your hands, the quickly reddening skin of your cheeks getting cooled by the cold of your palms as you try and hide your face from Ghost. You can picture how he looks right now—somehow more confused than earlier, possibly annoyed, weirded out—and all those mental images make you bite your tongue to prevent another noise. 

“What was that?” You don’t answer him. 

To your non-answer, Ghost sighs, and you think, This is it, this is where he kicks me out of his office, oh my God I’m gonna get dishonorably discharged and he’s gonna give me a really mean look on my way out—

“Look at me.” You shake your head negatively. 

“Why not?” He sounds so confused, it makes you want to cry. There’s still a level of worry in his voice, and it adds to the fog that builds up in your brain. 

You move your face just slightly up so that your eyes peek out from above your fingertips, your hands covering the rest of your face. Ghost reaches out both of his hands, and ever so gently removes your hands from your face, uncovering your red cheeks and your lips—the lower of which quivers, like you’re about to cry. He notices this quickly, and you can practically feel the level of his worry shoot up. 

He doesn’t say anything, instead just holding your hands in his for a moment, before he sets them down into your lap. He looks at you, concerned, and asks, “Is it hard to talk right now?” 

You nod. His gaze shifts to his computer, and then back to you. 

“I’m gonna go look a few things up really quick, okay? I’ll just be right over there,” He nods over to the space behind his computer, “and I’ll be right back here in a few seconds.” 

You reluctantly nod again, and Ghost gets up from his seat. He grabs the back of the chair and drags it back around behind his desk, sitting down in it and powering on his monitor. It turns on almost immediately, much to his relief, and he goes to his browser and searches up a few things. You can’t tell what he’s searching up, only hearing the clacking of keys and the occasional final click that indicates that he’s hit the enter button. 

He stays there for maybe a minute or two. It’s a long few minutes, and you can feel yourself slipping more and more the longer he stays at his computer. And the more you feel yourself slipping into that younger mindset, the more you start to crave Ghost’s attention. 

The way his eyes are glued to his computer starts to irritate you. You’re aware that he’s doing something important, he must be, because why would he be so intent on looking something up otherwise, but still—you manage to feel the tiniest bit jealous of the computer. You know you’re too far gone when you can’t find it within yourself to realize that you’re jealous of a computer. 

Your eyes linger on him and he must notice this because he looks up from the screen of his monitor and looks over at you. As if he can read your mind, he reassures you, “Just a few more seconds.” 

But you said you were gonna be back in a few seconds a few minutes ago. 

You don’t voice your thoughts. Instead, you nod, because God forbid you annoy Ghost with your need for attention now when he’s being so patient with you. He looks at you for another moment before going back to his computer and looking something else up, this time with a little more fervor. 

Another few seconds pass and, true to his word this time, Ghost stops and gets up from his chair. He walks over to you, and your eyes follow him intently. He kneels down in front of you.

He looks hesitant to say something to you. That’s a first. That adds to the exponentially growing blob of fear that lives inside your mind, one of the only things that’s still prominent in the fog that conquers your brain. 

“Are you…” You feel like you know what he’s gonna ask you. You’re bracing yourself for the question, and he looks like he’s bracing himself just to ask it. 

“How, uh,” He’s trying to find the right wording, and you’ve never been able to relate to him harder than you do in this moment, “How… do you feel right now? How old?” 

How old? You don’t really like that question. As much as you like that you’re now getting attention, you’re starting to remember how little you actually enjoy this type of attention. The question is pretty vague, but at the same time so specific, and you’re almost ashamed to know exactly what the answer is. Or, at least, you would feel ashamed if there was room in your mind to feel so. 

“You said you feel small, right? Not like short small, just small?” He sounds more unsure of himself now, and you don’t think you like seeing him so reluctant to say something, “I looked up what it means to feel like that. Took some time, but I got to some person’s… website, and the person who wrote it was talkin’ about feeling like that. Something about regression, feeling a little bit younger than usual?” 

He’s being so awkward about it, and while you typically find his awkwardness funny, now it’s anything but that. 

“Uhm,” Your voice comes out as a mumble and you see Ghost perk up at it. You don’t know what to say. For a moment, you’re silent again, before you get over your embarrassment for a quick two seconds and force yourself to say, “Four.” 

“Four?” Ghost asks, before quickly realizing, “Right. Four. You feel four?” 

You nod, and your hands instinctively start moving back up to cover your face. Ghost swiftly grabs them, keeping his grip gentle as he keeps them from reaching your face. 

“Hey, don’t try to hide again,” He says, tone softening as he holds your hands, “everything’s fine, okay? Do you— what, uh— do you need me to do anything? Do you want me to leave you alo—”

“No!” You quickly answer, a little surprised by your own volume, before you clear your throat and answer in a much more quiet voice, “Don’t leave me alone.” 

“Okay, okay,” Ghost’s thumbs rub across the back of your hands, a soothing gesture that makes you the tiniest bit more relaxed, “what do you need?” 

You sniffle, and you can see an immediate look of panic cross Ghost’s eyes. You don’t know how well he is with crying children, and don’t want to impose such a situation on him, but you also can’t stop the tears that begin to well up in the corners of your eyes. 

“Hey, don’t cry,” He borderline begs, “everything’s gonna be okay, okay? Please do not cry. Take a deep breath.” 

You try to take a deep breath, you really do, but your breath just hitches and gets caught in your throat. It only makes you more distressed, adding to the urge you have to just disappear. Ghost notices your failed deep breathing and lets go of one of your hands, before taking the other and holding it to his chest.

You can just barely feel his heartbeat, his thick tactical vest and gear in the way of it, but you can still feel it. Ghost takes a deep breath, holding it for a second or two before slowly exhaling. 

“You copy me, okay?” He tells you, his words an order but his tone suggesting otherwise. He takes another deep breath, this time hoping you’ll follow his lead, and you do. 

You try to breathe with him, your hand on his chest helping, but your breath keeps getting caught in your throat. Ghost notices this, but continues his breathing anyway, hoping you’ll catch on soon. You do, thankfully—after a few more attempted breaths, you finally manage one almost identical to Ghost’s. The next few after that go similarly, and that’s when Ghost decides you’re alright to take your hand off of his chest. 

“I need you to tell me what to do,” He says, keeping your hand in his hold, “or at least tell me how all of this works. I want to help you.”

 You really don’t want to tell him what you need right now, but you also don’t think you have a choice. 

Wordlessly, you stand up from your seat, balance just slightly off-center before you quickly get your footing right. Ghost watches you, not moving, before you tug on his hand to try and urge him to get up as well. He obliges, getting up. 

“What—” You interrupt him by taking another step forward and letting your head thump right into his chest, ignoring the itchy uncomfortable feeling of his vest against your face. You don’t bother to wrap your arms around him to at least try and form some sort of hug, preferring to just smush yourself into him and hope for the best. 

After a moment of stunned silence, he wraps his arms around you. 

“You mind if we move behind my desk so I can look up some more stuff on all of this?” He asks, voice quiet, “Unless you want to just tell me?” 

“Desk,” You simply mumble into his vest, making him nod. 

“Alright, but you’re gonna have to stop hugging me for a second,” Ghost warns you. You reluctantly step away, and Ghost smiles softly down at you, bringing his hands away from your back and instead holding one of yours. 

He leads you behind his desk, and lets go of your hand before sitting down in his chair. Pausing, he quickly realizes you have nowhere to sit, and thinks for a moment before getting back up. He drags his chair just slightly to the side and looks back at you. 

“Sit down,” He nods to the chair, “It’s only gonna be a minute or two, alright?” 

You nod, hesitantly moving to sit in the chair, not really liking how far away from Ghost it is. It's not that far, You try to rationalize, I’m gonna be fine. 

Ghost can see your hesitation and tries to work as quickly as he can, grateful that he didn’t turn his computer off earlier, typing away on his keyboard. You don’t care to see what he’s looking up, more focused on looking at the time on his monitor. 21:44. 21:45. The time ticks by and even though it’s only been a few seconds you already want Ghost’s attention again. His attention has actually turned into good attention, and that’s the type of attention you’ve been craving for the past week. 

The clock reads 21:47 once Ghost is done, and he powers his monitor off this time, the small whirring the device makes dying down to a low hum before going completely silent. He turns to you, and somehow can sense that you need more attention. 

“Am I not paying enough attention to you?” He teases you, making you conflicted on whether you should be annoyed by the teasing or happy you’re finally getting attention. As if he can read your mind, he chuckles, and kneels down to your level. 

“I’m gonna give you as much attention as you need, alright?” He promises, “I just need you to stay in this room.” 

— 

Ghost watches you nod non-verbally, and it only adds to his softening expression. 

He’s always had a soft spot for kids. He knows that you aren’t technically a kid, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still see you as one. You’re young for someone in the military, much less someone in this 141, and now that he’s found out that you’re an age regressor, that you’re a little—well, that doesn’t help how he sees you at all. 

He thinks that maybe the reason he has such a soft spot for kids is a few encounters he’s had with them in the past. He’s seen far too many in compromising positions while on missions; positions like being held hostage, being held as prisoner, or just generally being mistreated or even just living in bad conditions. 

He looks at you, and he just sees another one of those kids. 

He sees how you act around him. He’s not stupid. When he talks to you, you’re actually engaged in the conversation, compared to when anyone else tries to talk to you—maybe excluding Price, or Soap, or Gaz, heavy on that maybe—you’re more likely than not brushing them off every chance you get. You’re standoffish with everyone else, but with him, you’ll always accept any conversation he initiates. 

He can also see the way you look at him. It’s like you’re looking at your idol, or your savior, the way you look up at him. He can see that curious glint in your eyes when he tells you about a recent mission, or when he tells you anything, really. He can see when you try to mimic how he holds his weapons, and when you try to copy his techniques. 

He remembers catching you one day in the shooting range trying to mimic how he aims at the targets—looking through your scope with one eye closed, the other focused only on the dot centered on the scope, taking a deep breath in and out before shooting, and keeping the gun exactly like that even seconds after the shot’s been fired. 

In fact, the copying has gone from guns to melee weapons recently. Ghost swings only his forearm when he uses a knife, thumb resting on the very end of the knife’s handle, and entire arm stiff as he does. He does a slow windup when behind someone, a fast one on the off-chance that he’s in front, and buries the weapon to the hilt in whoever’s flesh he’s penetrated. He’s already seen you do the same on a recent mission. Not only that, but he caught you using a knife almost identical to his. 

And now, you’re still looking at him like that—except, different. Sort of like how a kid might look up to their parents. 

“What do you feel like doing, kiddo?” He asks, hoping the pet name isn’t too much. 

From the way your eyes light up, he suspects it isn't. 

“Mmm…” You hum, thinking for a moment, before requesting, “Coloring?” 

“Coloring, huh?” Ghost looks around for some blank paper and some sort of marker or pen thick enough to act as one, but can only find some highlighters. He turns to you, frowning, “Sorry, but I don’t think I have any paper, kid. Anything else you wanna do?”

You shake your head, and Ghost is just about ready to jump off of a bridge before you point to his arm and repeat, “Coloring.” 

He looks at his arm for a second, confused, before he remembers a conversation the two of you had a month or so ago. 

“If you ever wanna get tattoos, I know a guy in Brighton,” Ghost said, reclining his chair back so that he can lay down in it. You were sitting across from him in front of his desk, fiddling with one of his pens. 

“Good to know,” You hummed, “You have any tattoos?” 

“Yeah,” You perked up at his admission, and he sat up for a second to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. He wasn’t wearing his usual gear, only one of those standard issue army-green shirts. 

“Here,” He pointed to a large tattoo covering his whole arm like a sleeve, a few designs you could point out to yourself being a skull, a few Roman numerals, and some kind of scythe. 

“Very emo,” You commented, making Ghost snort, “I like it.” 

“I’m glad,” He rolled his sleeve back down. 

There’s a lot of blank space in the tattoo, despite it being a sleeve, and he can already tell that you mean you want to color in that space. He thinks about it for a moment, a fleeting thought of is that even safe? crossing his mind before he ultimately decides that he doesn’t care and would rather kill himself than see you disappointed because he denied your request, his own health be damned. 

“Alright,” He hums, grabbing a few highlighters from a mesh cup on his desk in the colors pink, yellow, and blue, “Go for it.” 

You give him a small smile and if he cared about if he’d get ink poisoning two seconds ago, he sure as hell doesn’t care now. You gingerly grab the highlighters from his hand, your grabbing not too secure and sort of clumsy but secure enough that the markers stay in your hand.

You hold them with both hands, and it makes Ghost realize how small your hands are—sure, you could hold the highlighters with one hand, but he’s glad you aren’t because now he can admire just how small you are as a whole. 

You set the yellow and blue down on his desk, making sure they don’t roll off for a moment before uncapping the pink and hesitantly holding out a hand for Ghost’s arm. He rolls up his sleeve and obediently holds out his arm for you, watching curiously as you press the cold tip of the highlighter to his skin. You’re starting by coloring in the skull a neon pink, much to his amusement, and you’re starting in the dead center of its forehead. 

You’re so much more quiet than you usually are when you’re little, and you’re so much more hesitant, it makes Ghost want to just wrap you in a blanket and keep you safe and in his sight forever. 

Your tongue slightly pokes out from between your lips as you concentrate on coloring in Ghost’s tattoo, making him grin beneath his mask. The ink of the highlighter doesn’t stay within the black bounds of his tattoos at all, but he doesn’t care one bit, and he doesn’t think you care either. You finish up the skull quickly, and move onto the scythe that’s right next to it, this time capping the pink highlighter and grabbing the yellow. 

Ghost is pretty sure this is gonna stain his skin for a day or two, but he couldn’t care less.

He can’t help but notice how much more relaxed you look in your regressed state. More at peace, he should say. There’s no longer a hunch in your shoulders, your eyes aren’t twitching from your headache, and you’re not bouncing your leg like you usually do when you’re sitting down somewhere. It’s like any anxieties you had pre-regression had evaporated, like slipping into a younger mentality had taken away most of your worries, if not all of them. 

He also can’t help but wish he could see you like this more often. Not necessarily the regressed part, but the relaxed part. Well, maybe the regressed part too. You’re being such a sweetheart right now, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to live through this experience. 

“You having fun there, darling?” Ghost asks, his grin evident in his voice. The corners of your lips quirk up at the pet name and you nod silently, and now Ghost is starting to think you’re actually trying to kill him. You’re being so uncharacteristically shy, and you’re being so quiet, and you’re just being so sweet. 

It seems you’ve moved onto the blue highlighter now, coloring in the last bit of his tattoo. He doesn’t think he’ll ever wash it off—or, at least, he wouldn’t if he had a choice. He knows that he has to shower sometime soon, but surely he can put that off for a bit, right?

Once you’re finished with your coloring, you cap the highlighter, and set it down next to the others you’ve discarded. You turn Ghost’s arm the tiniest bit towards him so that he can see your work better. 

“‘s it good?” You ask quietly, watching intently for Ghost’s reaction. He looks over your coloring job and hums approvingly. 

“It’s amazing, I love it,” He assures you, smiling down softly at you, “You did great.” 

You seem to preen at the praise, and you take your hand off of Ghost’s arm, moving to put in your lap. You’re keeping yourself very contained, Ghost notices, Why? 

He’s snapped out of his thoughts when he hears you yawn, and you quickly move to cover your mouth as you do. He’s reminded that it’s almost twenty-two hundred, and while that usually wouldn’t be an issue for him, it’s an issue for you. You originally came to the 141 as someone who had a sleep schedule almost as fucked up at Ghost’s, but soon developed a habit of going to sleep somewhat early considering the training you had in the morning. So, now you get tired anywhere from eighteen-hundred to twenty-one hundred. After that, your only goal is to find somewhere to sleep. 

“Sleepy?” You nod tiredly, making Ghost coo, Ghost, the man who quite literally haunts some people’s nightmares, coos at you, “Aw, of course you are, sweetheart. Pretty sure it’s way past your bedtime by now.” 

“Nuh uh,” You deny, making Ghost chuckle. 

“‘Nuh uh’?” He asks, amused, “What d’you mean ‘nuh uh’?” 

“No b’dtime,” You shortly elaborate. 

“Ohhh, okay,” Ghost feigns realization, “You think you’re too big for a bedtime, huh?” 

“Mhm. Way too big.”

“I dunno about ‘way’ too big,” Ghost hums, checking to see if the highlighter on his arm has dried before he pulls his sleeve back down. “You seem pretty little to me.” 

“No,” You whine, dragging out the ‘o’, “Not lil’.” 

“Hmm… you sure, kiddo?” Ghost asks, “So if I ask you if you need to go to bed, you’re gonna say ‘no’?” 

That makes you hesitate, and Ghost almost thinks he’s won, before your own pettiness wins and you nod affirmatively. He raises an eyebrow at you. 

“Alright, well, you’ve gotta sleep at some point,” He says, crossing his arms as he leans back in his chair. 

You think this over for a second, and he watches as you look over him for a moment before looking down at his lap, then looking back up at him. He can already tell there’s some sort of plan forming in your mind.  Wordlessly, you get up, and Ghost does nothing to stop you as you decide to just plop yourself down into his lap. You straddle his thighs, moving until you’re sitting comfortably on him, and then let yourself slump forward so that your face is resting in the crook of his neck. It takes him a moment to process what just happened, before he laughs lightly and wraps both of his arms around you to keep you in place. 

“Oh, okay,” He grins, resting his chin on your shoulder, “you just wanna cuddle with me until you fall asleep? Is that what this is?” 

He feels you nod against his neck, and his grin grows as he rubs one hand against your back, trying to soothe you to sleep. He doesn’t say anything else, not wanting to distract you from your attempts to sleep anymore, simply letting you stay slumped against him. Your breathing wasn’t too fast-paced to begin with, but as you relax even more in his arms, he can feel your breathing even out. 

You’re falling asleep fairly quickly, and the only complaint he has is that he didn’t get to spend nearly as much time as he wanted to with you while you were awake and regressed. 

Once he’s sure you’re barely awake, he murmurs, “You’re such a sweetheart, you know that?” 

— 

You don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep, but you’re woken up by the slight rustling of clothes, and then you feel yourself moving up. 

Your mind still feels foggy and you can tell you’re still somewhat in that younger mindset of yours, but now you’re significantly less bothered by it than you were before. You’re awake enough to be aware of what’s happening, always having been a light-sleeper, but not awake enough to know exactly what’s happening. You don’t dare open your eyes, and try to keep your breathing even—though that isn’t much of a challenge. 

That headache that had been building up earlier has fully disappeared, thank God, and you no longer feel the tension in your shoulder that you’d been unconsciously carrying. 

You can sort of feel someone’s arms snaked under your back, and you know that you’re being moved somewhere. Quickly, you remember that it’s Ghost carrying you, and that you had fallen asleep on him, much to your embarrassment. Or, at least, it would be much to your embarrassment if you had the mental capacity to feel embarrassed about that right now. But you feel so comfy and so safe that it really doesn’t matter to you right now. 

You can hear the clicking of Ghost’s boots against the concrete floors of the hallway, and he’s carrying you off somewhere; you imagine that somewhere to be your sleeping quarters. He’s walking pretty fast, not hurriedly but still at a somewhat fast pace. 

Soon, he reaches a stopping point where he has to awkwardly put one leg up to support your back on his thigh as he quickly reaches one arm out to turn the knob of the door to your sleeping quarters and pulls that arm right back to support your back again. He sighs as he puts his foot back down, kicking open the door and walking in. 

He’s quick to reach your bed, and he pauses as he considers what to do. You can practically hear him thinking, wondering how he’s gonna get you under the covers while he’s still carrying you, and for a second you think about showing him you’re awake so that things are easier for him before he sets you down on the bed. 

He pulls the covers up and stops when he reaches the part your body covers, and picks you back up, before dropping you right back off where the blankets have been pulled away. He pulls the covers back over you. 

After a few moments, you think he’s left the room, before you hear the rustling of fabric and feel him leaning down. He gently presses his lips to your forehead and pulls away after a second or two, before quietly mumbling, “Night, kiddo.”

He stays there for a moment before you hear his footsteps leave the room, and then the door clicking shut behind him as he leaves the room entirely. 

You’re quick to fall asleep after that.

#cod #cod hcs #hcs #task force 141 #simon ghost riley #ghost #age regression #caregiver ghost #ghost x reader #platonic ghost x reader #platonic ghost #i find him so lovely #hes my dad guys trust #i was literally meant to be his kid #trust that if i ever get any cod games with him in it i will spend the whole time admiring him #dad pls come back home #i miss u #python333

[belovedjeju]

The Deal (I Can’t Go Inside)

Show Me How (To Love) Chapter 2

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Synopsis: The time has come for you to head to the Lee residence and start your new life as Bada’s fiancée. Hope you can handle the pressure!

Note: Any pictures used are for aesthetic purposes only, and aren’t indicative of the reader’s body type/race. Any relations to real people and events are purely coincidental.

Tw: Physical abuse, cursing, unrealistic depictions of sleepwalking

Word Count: ~10.4k

When you come to yourself, you find yourself staring out the window, the morning rays of sunlight shining in your eyes. Looking down, you see your phone in your hand, unplugged and low on battery. 6:42 am is the time, long before your door is ever unlocked. Letting out a sigh, you plug your phone back up, your back, hand, and wrist stiff from the lack of movement.

You wonder how long you were sitting like that, out of it and ruminating. Your eyes feel heavy, and with every blink they sting from the lack of sleep. All you can do is groan as you lay back down, rubbing your eyes is frustration. You can already tell that you aren’t going to fall back asleep, but your body feels so heavy that you can’t move even an inch more.

So, you lay there.

You lay there as the sky outside gets brighter and brighter. You lay there as you hear the bustling of people outside. You lay there as your stomach growls, reminding you that you barely ate the night prior, and now you’re craving an orange.

Thinking about the night before only gives you a headache, realization kicking in about your entire situation.

You’re getting married. The revelation hits you like a truck. You’re getting married in the place of your sister, and you know nothing of what’s to come. You don’t want this marriage, by any means, but knowing that your parents’ lives are on the line makes you suck it up and go along with it –as if you have a choice–.

Soon enough, you hear the click of your doorknob as it unlocks, and you sit up in bed before your mother enters.

She immediately frowns as she looks at you. “What are you still doing in bed? Get up, now!” She says as she taps her foot on the ground, key to your room door in hand.

You listen to her, body sluggish. Your feet meet the hard floor instead of your house slippers, which confuse you, as you always put your house slippers in the same place by your bed before you sleep. You look around the room, seeing one of your shoes by the door, and the other by the closet.

You were walking around last night, you realize, internally sighing as you move to grab your shoes and your outfit for the day. You put your slippers on as you walk to your bathroom and shut the door. Your forehead meets the door, and you like the way it feels against your warm skin.

Fuck, you can’t handle this right now. You can’t handle any of this.

“Calm down, calm down, calm down,” you whisper to yourself, “You’re alright, you just need to get through this and then you’ll be alright.” You don’t have time to calm yourself down further, as your mother’s voice cuts through your ears.

“Choi (Y/n), hurry up! Do not keep us waiting.”

You push away from the door, moving to get ready. One look into the mirror shows your disheveled and tired state, and you wonder if Bada will turn you away as soon as you appear in front of her.

The long, dark maxi dress and long sleeve shirt you have on underneath hides your body well, but you hope your mother doesn’t think it’s too revealing.

You leave the bathroom and face your mother, waiting for her to give you an order.

“Come here,” she says, and you obey, stepping closer, but keeping a bit of distance between you two. Your mother grabs your wrist, pulling you closer, and you let out a gasp at how tight she’s gripping your arm. Her face is extremely close to yours, and her stern eyes bore into yours. You want to look away so bad, but she grabs your chin and makes you face her. “You will not embarrass your father and I today, do you understand me?” You nod rapidly, eyes squeezing shut at the pain. “You will not complain, you will serve Bada in any way she needs, and you will obey her.” You don’t want to protest, but you have too many worries to not say anything.

“But mother, what if she’s violent? What if she gets angry and hits–” your mother squeezes your cheeks, silencing you.

“If you upset her, fix yourself and do better. You will do whatever she wants,” she says through gritted teeth, shoving you away. “I swear, Soo Ri should’ve been the one to do this, not you.” She looks like she wants to spit on the ground you’re standing on, but she turns and walks away, leaving you to rub your cheeks with tears in your eyes.

You sniff and rub the tears out of your eyes, legs feeling weak. You look around your room, trying to gather your bearings.

Walking to your dresser, you grab your phone so you can look at your appearance in the camera. You unlock it, only for your phone to open the message app.

What you see only makes you want to break down and cry more.

On the screen are your texts to Soo Ri from last night, dozens of green messages taunting you. They start out written properly, showing clarity in your actions.

‘Hi, my lovely unnie.’

‘Where are you.’

‘Come home.’

‘I hope you’re sleeping well.’

But as you continue to read them, they become short, unintelligible, with terrible grammar and no structure. In between the key smashes and word vomit, you can read a few things.

‘Scared’

‘Please’

‘Send away’

One text catches your eye, however.

‘Don’t let the cat get you’

Memories rush to the forefront of your mind, clouding your vision. Glass breaking, screaming, the feeling of suffocating into your pillow, beady yellow eyes staring up at you.

You feel your breathing getting harsher and harsher, phone dropping out of your hand as you stumble down, eyes darting everywhere.

You feel your heart beating faster and faster, threatening to pop out of your chest.

You try to dig your nails into your palms, trying to ground yourself back to reality, but you are quickly slipping away.

You hear yourself sobbing, you feel the tears slide down your cheeks, you feel the pounding in your head as you try and grab onto anything to calm you down.

You are so, so stupid, you tell yourself. You don’t deserve anything.

When you come to, you’re curled into yourself, arms close to your chest and tears pooling below you.

You faintly hear your parents’ voices downstairs through your open door, and it snaps you out of your thoughts.

“Thank you so much for escorting our daughter. I was up all night worrying about her journey to the Lee residence,” you hear your mother speak, using the tone she reserved for speaking with guests. It’s time for you to go.

You quickly get up, grabbing your phone and charger shoving them in your purse. You rush into the bathroom, wiping your face with water and fixing your hair. You plant a smile on your face and grab your suitcase –you had shoved all of your shoes into one suitcase the night before, thinking two would be too much– and your box, walking out of your room without looking back.

You walk down the stairs slowly, hands shaking. Once you make it to the bottom of the stairs, your mother’s voice gets louder.

“She’s always been a little more reserved, and she doesn’t really eat much unless prompted, so please don’t let her stay to herself and neglect her needs. And oh! She really likes to eat beef as well, and she doesn’t really like sweets, and she gets cold really easily too.” With the way your mother is rambling, she comes across as a caring, concerned mother, and no one will guess that she had just admonished you earlier.

You’re not sure you want them to.

“Oh honey, (y/n) will be fine. She’s a big girl and you should trust that she’ll be ok,” your father says, voice kinder than you’ve ever heard before.

“I know, but she’ll always be my baby,” your mother sounds close to tears, and you wonder how long this performance will last.

Well it’s not like you aren’t performing as well, so you might as well match their energy.

“Mother, father, I’m ready,” you say as you arrive near the door, where your parents are standing with another woman, or girl, you should say. She has a very cute face, round cheeks and burgundy colored hair. But her clean suit, cold face and tall posture made her look older than she seemed to be. You place your box on the floor next to you and flex your fingers.

You bow to the girl in front of you, and she bows back.

“(Y/n), this is Sowoen, and she will be escorting you to Ms. Lee’s home,” your father says, adjusting the glasses on his face. You nod in acknowledgement.

Your mother starts to sniffle, holding your cheeks in her hands, much gentler than earlier.

“Oh, how you’ve grown. I remember when you first came to us like it was yesterday. And now you’re getting married,” she pulls you close to her in a hug, and you fight the urge for your body to freeze. “Don’t fuck this up,” she whispers in your ear, and squeezes you harder. You put your arms up to hug her back, though you feel awkward doing so.

When was the last time you hugged your mother?

“Ok honey, you have to let her go now,” your father says as he separates your mother from you. Your father doesn’t hug you, but he does hold your hands in his.

His touch makes your skin crawl.

“Please, stay safe my dear. Know that you will always have a home here,” he says, his voice soft. You just nod again, trying your hardest to keep the smile on your face. You pull away from him first, wrist still hurting from earlier.

You go to grab your stuff, but Soweon steps in before you could. She grabs your suitcase and box with ease, and you feel embarrassed at having her do the work for you. You also don’t want her to see how little you have.

“Is this all, Miss?” Soweon asks you, and you can only nod silently, hands itching to grab the load off her hands.

A maid holds the door for the both of you, and you don’t look back at your parents as you follow behind your escort, though you can feel their gazes burn into your back. You can’t help but shiver.

~~~

The ride to Bada’s home is uncomfortably silent. You want to speak to try and break the awkwardness, but nothing comes out. Plus, Soweon’s tight grip on the steering wheel and her eyes locked forward is probably a hint for you to keep quiet.

She must be mad at you, you think as you fidget with your hands, for not being the one her boss wanted to marry.

You lock eyes with her in the rear view mirror, and quickly look away, mind going far.

To get to the Lee mansion requires one to go through large gates flanked with security, who quickly lets the car pass once Soweon shows her ID and they do a quick check in the trunk of the car, which makes you nervous.

Soweon drives the car down the pathway, and into a cul de sac, where at the end sits the Lee mansion, your new place of residence.

Your heart beats loudly in your chest as you stare at the utterly huge mansion in front of you.

You’re living here? Even your parents’ vacation homes aren’t this big!

You’re scared to see what it’s like on the inside. Maybe you can just live in the car and you won’t have to see Bada ever!

No, that’s ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. You’d need to pee at some point.

Before you know it, your hand is reaching for the door only for it to miss as the door swings open, Sowoen looking at you expectedly as she stands on the other side.

“O-Oh…” you stutter as you stare at her in bewilderment. You must’ve been keeping her waiting for too long. “Sorry,” you apologize, stepping out of the car. You don’t notice Sowoen’s hand held out to help you out of the car, looking towards the trunk for your belongings.

“I’ve got it, Miss,” Sowoen speaks up, taking your things out of the trunk for you. You continue to stare at her in confusion.

“You… you don’t have to do that. I can do it…” you say as you reach for the suitcase, but Soweon only pulls it away from you.

“It’s alright, Miss. It’s my job,” is all she says before walking towards the mansion steps.

“But, but, they’re my things. I don’t want to have you do all of the work,” you try and say, trying to catch up with her quick steps. “Can I at least hold the box, please?” You ask, clasping your hands together. “There’s a lot of important things in there to me,” which isn’t exactly a lie, but it would still be better just to hold it.

Soweon sighs, which causes you to think that you’re probably being a bit annoying, so you take a step back from her and place your hands by your side.

“Here,” she says, holding the box out to you. You blink, but quickly move to grab the box from her hold before she changes her mind.

“Thank you…” you whisper, following her up the stairs without another word.

The inside of the mansion is just as grandiose as the outside. Bright lights and long halls leading to who knows where. You could see the giant glass chandelier hanging from the high ceiling if you tip your head back far enough. There isn’t a spec of dust as far as your eyes can see –which, frankly, isn’t far–. To the sides you can see stairs leading to the second floor. You wonder how many rooms there are in this whole place. There has to be at least thirty, right?

A maid greets you both with a respectful bow and you bow back, although Sowoen doesn’t.

“Shall I take this to your room, Miss?” She says, holding out her hands expectedly. You clutch the box closer to you, not wanting to give the maid all of your load like you did to Sowoen.

“Miss, we’re going to be seeing the boss first, so it’s best you put your stuff down,” Soweon says, nodding towards the maid. You look at her hesitantly. You could just take the stuff to your room directly, but you don’t want to keep Bada waiting, so you reluctantly give the box to the maid, flexing your hands awkwardly once she took it away.

You follow Sowoen down the hall, keeping an eye on the back of her burgundy head. Your heart beats hard in your chest as you stop by a large wooden door with a very antique gold door knob. Sowoen knocks on the door, and opens it when she’s given permission to enter. You hesitantly follow behind her, blurry gaze landing all over the room.

You enter into an office, one bigger than you’ve ever seen. Near the wall in front of you sits a desk, full of stacks of paper and pens, and two small chairs in front of it. Against the other two walls are dark green sofas, with a small, glass coffee table to the side of each. Everything in here looks expensive, even the rug you’re standing on, it only makes you even more nervous.

Standing in front of the desk is none other than your fiancée, tall and intimidating, just like the day you first met. On the couches sit multiple other women, though you don’t know who they are.

Bada’s face is neutral, nary an emotion can be gathered from her gaze, hands clasped in front of her. Hands that could hurt you at any moment…

‘You will not complain, you will serve, and you will obey her’, your mothers words repeat in your head as Bada stares down at you.

Remember, you tell yourself, this woman can kill you and your family at any moment, so maybe listening to your mother will be wise.

You bow to Bada, eyes kept to the floor, waiting for her to address you.

“How was your trip,” her voice is deep, resounding throughout the room and bouncing off of your ears.

“It was fine,” you manage to say without stuttering, hands gripping your dress. You still don’t look at her, but rise anyway. “Thank you for having someone escort me here,” you say. You hope it scores you half a point for your respectfulness.

“This will be your home now,” Bada starts, voice still level. “So there are a few things you must know, especially since your parents did not inform you of a single thing prior to our meeting on Friday. I’m assuming that is still the case, correct?” You wince, feeling all of your hopes of them sparing your family’s lives being shredded to bits. You feel a lot of eyes burning into your back and elect to keep your head down.

Should you be honest and just say yes? Will lying spare your family even just a little.

“Choi (y/n), I asked you a question.” Despite the authoritative nature in her voice, it was still the same tone and pitch she spoke in moments earlier. It made you push lying out of your mind.

“That’s… that’s correct.” You’re going to pass out any second now. If you beg her to kill you, will they spare your parents' lives? Soo Ri’s?

“I see. While you are here, your safety is one of the top priorities for both my team, Bebe, and I,” that is, until you piss her off and she kills everyone you’ve ever loved. “You must follow the rules set in place to ensure your safety, understood?” You nod, staying silent. “One, you will never walk around without a bodyguard, ever. There’s too many risks out in the world for you to walk around without one. Sowoen here will be filling in that role for now.” You don’t know if you should feel relieved that it’s at least a somewhat familiar face or not. Bada continues, holding up two fingers.

“Two, you must not lie to me, ever. I despise liars, and you seem to come from a family of them.” You wince again, squeezing the wrist your mother grabbed earlier. The pain brings you back down to Earth. “I will not spare you if I find out you’re lying to me.” You can only nod, voice not coming out properly.

Bada holds up a third finger, “Finally, this is simply a business deal, so I expect you to act accordingly to fulfill the terms of the contract that you and your parents agreed upon, understood?”

You agreed to the contract? Since when? What did you agree to, you can only wonder. Maybe Bada took your begging for your family’s lives as an agreement. Yes, that must be what it is.

“Y-Yes, I understand, Ms. Lee,” you finally manage to say.

“These are all of the members of my team,” you turn around to face the women on the couches, and Soweon, who sits on the couch to your left. “To your left are the junior members. Soweon, whom you’ve met already, Minah,” Bada points to a girl with black hair, “and Cheche,” she points to a girl with orange hair. Their eyes bore into your figure, as if they’re studying you, waiting for you to slip up, which you will most likely do soon.

Bada gestures to your right, “These are the senior members. Their word takes precedence over the junior ones, so what they say goes first.” You nod again. The gazes of these women feel a bit more hostile, but you couldn’t tell from the lack of emotions on their faces. “This is Tatter,” she points to a woman with light blonde hair, “Kyma,” a woman also with blonde hair, but a shorter face, “and Lusher, my second in command. If I am not here, you listen to her. Are we clear?”

“Yes, we’re clear.” You repeat obediently.

“Good, Sowoen will give you a tour of the residence, and will help you get settled in. And here,” you turn to her, and she holds out a black credit card. You blink at it, then look up at her for the first time since you’ve entered. “Use this for anything you need. There’s a lot of money on here, so do not worry about it running out of funds anytime soon,” she says, card held loosely in her hands.

You aren’t receiving an allowance? That’s… confusing. You thought everyone received an allowance from the head of the household.

“Take it,” Bada says flatly.

Don’t complain, serve, and obey.

You blink again at the card, gently grabbing the edge from her as if it were a foreign object.

“Thank you, Ms. Lee.” You grip the card in your hands to make sure it’s real.

“You are dismissed,” Bada says, and Soweon holds the door for you as you leave. You bow to Bada and the girls before you go down the hallway, Soweon following behind you.

Bada sits down on her chair, sighing.

“Do you trust her?” Lusher asks, breaking the silence in the room.

“I don’t need to,” Bada says, picking up a piece of paper and a pen. “As long as she does what she was brought here to do, I don’t really care whether or not she’s trustworthy. That’s for you all to figure out.” She taps her pen on the counter. “Alright, here are your tasks for the week. Cheche, fill Soweon in later,” Bada states before starting their meeting.

~~~

The Lee mansion is too big for your liking. Dozens of bedrooms, a cozy living room, giant catering kitchens, a library, a theater room, a tennis court, a gym, a ballroom, and apparently, a giant garden somewhere else on the property. You’re getting overwhelmed at Soweon’s explanations as you pass the giant pool. There’s even a fucking jacuzzi in the corner of the pool.

As you stare down at the water moving with the slight breeze, you imagine yourself under the surface, holding your breath until it hurts, eyes staring at the sky above you.

You wish you hadn’t been told about the pool, you think. You feel like you’ll be coming here often in your sleep, whether you like it or not.

“Miss,” you hear Soweon call you. You tear your eyes away from the pool to look at her. “Shall we end the tour here?” She asks, with a tilt of her head. She must be tired of talking to you. It’s best to listen to her and end the tour.

You nod, and follow her to a bedroom.

“The boss has prepared this room for you, but you can change anything around as you please,” Soweon says, never passing the threshold of your room. You look around, taking in the large queen sized bed in the middle of the room, the white vanity to the left and the giant walk-in closet to the right, along with a desk by a giant window.

You wonder if you can ask them to bolt it shut for you. Would you sound insane? Is that a normal request for someone to have? You really aren’t sure.

“Please let me know if you need anything, Miss,” Sowoen says to you, and you nod.

Sowoen bows to you as she goes to shut the door, and you bow back. Once the door’s shut, you let out the deep breath you were holding, but you still feel no relief. Instead, you feel as if you’re suffocating. You’re now in the lion’s den, and one wrong move could mean you and your whole family being torn to shreds.

You look at the door, noticing the lock on the inside. You’d be able to lock and unlock your door with ease. That fact scares you.

To distract yourself from the thousands of worries in your head, you start to unpack your suitcase, finding your closet already filled with hangers for you, which you appreciate, though most of them are left unused because of your lack of clothes, but oh well.

You go to unpack your box, opening it up with a key on your wallet. Only for you to end up putting it down because you become face to face with that porcelain cat. The cat that you thought you left in the nightstand at home.

Its yellow eyes pierce into your teary ones, mocking you, reminding you of all of your mistakes, and when you pick it up, your skin crawls, the scar on your back burning once more.

You put it in the nightstand dresser and hope you forget about its location later.

You continue to unpack your items, tears in your eyes.

When you’re done, you place your house slippers on the floor by your bed, and crawl under the covers.

Exhaustion is catching up with you, you’re hungry, you’re craving an orange.

You decide to sleep.

~~~

Sowoen’s days have been very uninteresting lately. Instead of the hustle and bustle of her normal, everyday life, doing reports, following her seniors around as they worked, testing out different types of poisons on others (and herself in secret), she has spent the last few weeks watching her boss’ new fiancée.

Bada says it’s to teach her responsibility as the youngest, and she is grateful for the opportunity. However, she is just… just so, so bored.

Every morning at 5 am, she wakes up and goes to stand at your door at 6, and hears you wake up around 8:30. You don’t open the door for a while, sometimes for hours, until Sowoen wonders when you’re going to eat something, and knocks on the door.

You look bewildered every time she opens it, like the action is unusual or something, even when you tell her to come in with a confused voice. Sowoen doesn’t really care as to why you think it’s weird, only wanting you to not starve to death and have Bada be disappointed in her, so she asks if you’re going to eat something.

The first few days here you ate a proper meal, but after that, you just ate oranges. And then you would retreat back into your room, until it was time for dinner, where you would eat a proper meal at 9. Then at 10:00, you turn in for the night. She would stay outside your room for a few more hours, just in case you need her again, but at 1am she goes to her room to sleep –she’s already used to getting little to no sleep, so there’s no issue with that–.

It’s just weird. Of course she should mind her business. You being quiet and not stirring up trouble is a good thing. However, Sowoen doesn’t trust you. She may be slightly –curious isn’t the right word, maybe wary?– about your skittish behavior and notes the familiarity in your actions, but she doesn’t trust you, or your family. Your family lied to Bada, and that is something that cannot be forgiven. Who knows what else you’re lying about.

And on top of all that, Sowoen is just bored. She’s so, so bored.

Even when she listens through the door –not actively but just generally listening out for sounds– she doesn’t hear you moving at all. No music playing, no talking on the phone, not even singing to yourself. Are you in solitary confinement or something?

At times like this she wishes she had Kyma’s scary hearing ability, at least so she can see if you’re alive or not. She could always just go in your room herself and check on you, like a bodyguard should do, but Bada also warned of giving you your privacy, a sliver of respect while you’re here.

But she cannot, in good conscience, let you isolate yourself like this.

Sowoen, always the softy, she can hear everyone saying, causing her to sigh.

“Mind your business, Sowoen, mind your business,” she whispers to herself.

Sowoen thinks of dark spaces, no room to move, aching bones and everlasting silence.

She sighs once more, turning around to knock on your door, but is stopped by a voice.

“Sowoen,” it’s Cheche, voice leveled despite the small smile on her face. It’s been a while since she’s seen the other junior members, her best friends, because she’s been stuck to your side –or rather, your door–, so it’s a surprise to see her here.

“Hi, Cheche. What’s up?” Cheche stops a little always from the door, not exactly in front of Sowoen.

“The boss wants to see you,” she says, eyes flickering to the door behind Sowoen. “I’ll watch over the Miss in your place, ok?”

Sowoen is hesitant, not wanting abandon the job Bada assigned her to do.

“Here,” Cheche says, holding out her hand, a hand that holds Bada’s family ring. The request is legitimate, not just a trick to test Sowoen to see if she’s doing her job. It’s also unrefusable –not that she can or would ever refuse Bada anyways–.

Sowoen nods, taking that ring and holding it tightly in her hand, stepping aside so Cheche can take her place.

The walk to Bada’s office isn’t a long one, but she is curious about why Bada wants to see her. She’s been doing her job correctly as far as she knows. You’re still alive, maybe not healthy, but you’re alive!

She makes it to Bada’s office, knocking six times to let Bada know it’s her.

“Come in,” Bada says, and Sowoen enters, giving Bada a slight bow.

“Morning, boss,” Sowoen greets her, holding out her ring for her to take, which she does.

“Morning. Have a seat,” Bada gestures to one of the chairs in front of her desk, and she sits. Bada is sitting behind her desk, in her pressed suit and glasses low on her face. She taps her pen on the desk as she looks at Sowoen.

“What’s your assessment of her?” Bada asks, referring to you. The question comes as a bit of a surprise to Sowoen, as she didn’t expect Bada to ask her about you, nor care enough about you to ask. Though she figures that it’s a matter of just keeping tabs on you, which she did expect Bada wanted. “You can speak honestly. There will be no penalty for doing so.” Despite saying that phrase plenty of times before, Bada always makes sure to reassure her, and for that, Bada has Sowoen’s trust.

“If I’m being honest, there really isn’t much to say,” Sowoen starts, picking at her nails but still looking Bada in the eyes. “She doesn’t do much at all. She doesn’t leave her room much, only to eat, and she barely does that,” Bada’s expression doesn’t change at that information, so Sowoen can’t gather what she’s feeling. “When she’s in her room, I really don’t know what she’s doing, I really can’t hear anything when she’s in there,” Sowoen furrows her eyebrows. “Not that I’m intentionally listening on her or anything. I want her to have privacy, but just… y’know.” Sowoen realizes she’s rambling and closes her mouth.

“Thank you for sharing that, Sowoen.” She feels herself blush at the praise. Bada leans back in her chair. “So there’s no one she talks to? No places she likes to go?” Bada asks, clasping her hands together.

Sowoen shakes her head, “No, it’s like she isolated herself. No calls to her parents, nor do I ever see her texting anybody either. It reminds me a lot of…” Sowoen shuts herself up, quick, not wanting to be reminded of the past,

“I see,” Bada says, understanding what Sowoen is referring to.

“But I don’t want to intrude on her life, y’know? I think it’ll be rude if I said something,” Bada nods at that.

“It’s ok to give suggestions, as long as you’re respectful, right?” Sowoen nods, not saying anything more. “Bring her over,” Bada says, and Sowoen snaps to attention.

She didn’t expect her to say that. She thought that Bada wouldn’t want to see you at all after what your parents did. But who is she to question her superior, so she gets up and goes to retrieve you.

Before she leaves, Bada calls out to her.

Her face is serious as she looks at Sowoen.

“Do you trust her?” Is all she asks.

“No, boss, I don’t.”

~~~

Your days at the Lee mansion have been very uneventful. You wake up, covered in bruises from your body hitting things in your new bedroom when you walk around at night, not used to the new layout just yet. You then wait for your door to be unlocked, but you end up waiting for hours until Sowoen knocks on your door asking if you’d want to eat breakfast, leaving you to remember that doors aren’t just generally locked all the time from the outside. You then go to eat breakfast, but you’re too nervous to keep anything down so you just eat oranges. Then, you retreat to your room and just lie there until dinner, where you sit by yourself for thirty minutes and eat a little bit of food –just like at home, but you don’t want to think about that right now–.

What else is there to do anyways? Your only source of entertainment is painting, and all of your supplies are at home. You’re too scared to walk around the mansion and explore, fearing that you’ll just end up sleepwalking to places and burdening Sowoen and Bada later on, and you don’t want to ask Sowoen or a maid to get things for you, because then you’ll feel like you’re being bossy and pretentious.

So, you just sit in your room and think.

Sometimes you read the books you brought from home, sometimes you scroll through videos on your phone, switching from app to app, but mostly, you just end up thinking.

What is your role in all of this?

Are you just an accessory? A thing to parade around to make Bada look good? But why settle for you? Why not find someone else from another family who didn’t lie to her?

Is it just to get back the money your parents owe her? If so, does that just make you a hostage?

The thought makes your throat close up in fear.

What rights did you have in this mansion? Could you go where you pleased? Or were you just stuck in this large home, waiting to be used and discarded. You’re too scared to ask, fearing Bada’s emotionless stare, or the annoyed looks from the Bebe girls.

If you’re a hostage, that means Soo Ri was also supposed to be a hostage, right? But knowing Soo Ri’s personality, you can’t imagine her settling down and taking that.

You imagined she’d come here, with her endless confidence that you’ve always envied, demanding to be treated right, and probably getting whatever she wanted, too.

But what are you supposed to do, then? Just lie there and wait for Bada to make up her mind on what she wants?

Would she take her anger out on you if she had a rough day? Would she come into your room and…

You don’t allow yourself to go down that road, mind already dredging up things from the past.

Don’t complain, serve, and obey.

You blink, remembering your mother’s words and turning over in bed, hugging a pillow to your chest.

If Bada ever does anything to you, it’s not like you have the power to fight back. You’d probably have to just cry in silence when she’s done with you, hoping that the next day will be better. Maybe if you don’t complain she’d leave your family alone.

Yeah, just think of the benefits for your parents. They’ll be able to just pay Bada back, and then be done with her while she just keeps you to the side, at her mercy. You’ll gladly be at her mercy if it means they’ll be happy.

Before you can sit in your thoughts more, there’s a knock on your door. You wait for it to open, but then remember that your door isn’t locked.

“Come…come in,” you say, the words still feeling foreign on your tongue.

The door opens and Sowoen appears, face still serious. Her hair is down today.

“Miss, the boss wishes to see you,” she says, never passing the threshold to your door.

You blink in confusion, but get up anyway.

You haven’t seen Bada since your first day here, and she has not called for you since then. Are you in trouble? Is your family in trouble? Is Bada going to kill you? Has she finally gotten sick of you? All you’ve done is stay still! You haven’t been a burden to anyone, at least you think you haven’t! Maybe you’ve unintentionally upset someone, but you swear you’ll get on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness!

You must’ve done something wrong, you think as you walk through the halls, gripping your wrist in your hand. Bada is going to kill you. She hates you.

Too soon do you end up in front of her office, large wooden door taunting you as you raise your hand to knock on the door.

“Come in,” Bada says, voice sounding much more secure than yours. You wonder if you’ll be able to get the words out to defend yourself.

You open the door, which creaks as it moves, the sad sound announcing your presence in Bada’s clean space. The door closes behind you, and when you turn around, Sowoen isn’t there.

Which means you’re alone with Bada, for the first time. You’re alone with a woman who hates you.

You bow to her, and wait for her to give you an order, or yell at you, or do something.

“Sit,” Bada says, gesturing to the chair in front of her. You do so, without question, avoiding her gaze. You feel it burning into you, probably waiting for you to confess your wrongdoings. Maybe if you apologize first, she’ll go easy on you.

“Um, Ms. Lee,” you start, voice wavering. “I sincerely apologize for my actions, truly.” You dig your thumb in your palm, rubbing it in circles.

Bada raises an eyebrow at your words, wondering what you could’ve done. She decides to see what you’ll apologize for, and stays silent.

“I, um, I promise to do better… as, as your fiancée. I know I should have learned better from my parents, and for that I apologize… for being clueless, I mean. If it’s any consolation, I didn’t mean to upset you, but if you tell me what,” you blink rapidly, looking down at your hands, “if you’re willing to tell me what I did wrong, then I’ll be sure not to make the same mistake again…” you finish, biting the inside of your cheek.

“And what exactly are you apologizing for?” Bada asks, staring down at you despite the lack of eye contact on your part.

You start to stammer even more, “You, you called for me, so I thought… I thought I did something wrong,” you blink again, bouncing your leg. “Is it not that?” Bada watches as the gears turn in your head, trying to find an explanation for why she called you here.

“If it’s about Soo Ri and the switch, I, I sincerely apologize for that. I know that what we did isn’t forgivable, but I promise to –”

Bada silences you with a rise of her hand.

“Enough,” she says, effectively stopping your apologies. She places her pen down, never looking away from you. “What are you doing here?” She asks you, and you look up at her for the first time since you arrived. Her expression is still void of any emotions as her brown eyes look you over.

Does she think you are overstaying your welcome? Is she going to send you back home? What does that mean for the safety of your family? What will your parents think of you coming back home so early?

Don’t complain, serve, and obey.

“I… I’m here to be your fiancée,” you answer, uncertain. Bada just blinks at you.

“There’s no need to stay inside. Go, visit your parents, get groceries, go shopping for clothes, do whatever you want,” Bada orders you, and your eyebrows furrow.

She didn’t want you here, it seems, even though you thought you were behaving.

But it’s best if you don’t argue.

“For how long?” You ask for clarification, trying your hardest not to cry. Were you failing the one thing you were asked to do?

“For as long as you wish,” is all she says, writing down something on a piece of paper. It’s not an adequate answer for you, but you won’t fight her. “Sowoen will keep by you as you go, so do not try and stray too far from where it is safe.” You nod, voice failing you at the moment. “You are dismissed,” Bada says after a beat. You nod, getting up and bowing before leaving her office.

Sowoen is waiting for you at the door, closing it behind you and following you to your room. Once you get there, you turn to Sowoen, not meeting her eyes.

“Um,” you start, clearing your throat, “Ms. Lee told me to, uh, not be inside? Do you have any place I could go?” Your tone conveys your shyness, not used to talking with the woman who follows you around just yet.

Sowoen pauses, nodding her head as she thinks.

The boss must’ve seen her underline concerns, despite her attempts to hide it, and reassured you that you could go wherever you wanted.

Bada knows Sowoen better than she knows herself sometimes.

“There’s a shopping district further into the city,” Sowoen starts, “There’s a bunch of different stores you can go to, you browse around if you like.” Sowoen suggests. The stores there are all ones Bada provides protection for, so you shouldn’t be in any danger there.

You nod, entering your room to get ready.

You dress in a long black maxi skirt, and a dark blue sweater that is a little bit itchy due to it being so old, and some of your old sneakers. You need to buy new ones, but you’re waiting for you to have enough money to buy your glasses first before getting anything else. It is a bit warm outside for the outfit, but you’ve learned to tough it out.

You wouldn’t want people to get the wrong idea by you showing skin.

When you’re done getting ready, you grab your purse and your phone, opening the door and waiting for Sowoen to lead the way. She takes you to the front, and the sun hits your eyes as soon as you leave the manor, not used to the brightness after staying inside for so long.

You wait for Sowoen as she goes to get the car, warmer arm causing you to fan yourself with your hand, and walk down the steps to meet her. With each step you try not to think about what you’re going to do once you get back.

If Bada doesn’t want you to be in the manor anymore, you’re going to have to pack, right? But then where will you go? Can you even go back home? If the contract your parents signed says that you are supposed to be living with Bada, then you really can’t go back home.

Will you just be living on the streets?

You ball your hands into fists at the thought.

You couldn’t go through that. Not now, not ever.

You’d rather die.

Before you can dwell on it any further, Sowoen opens the car door for you before you can do it yourself. You blink at her in bewilderment, but she just gestures for you to get in the car. You still aren’t used to people doing things for you, but you get in the car so you don’t upset her.

The drive to the shopping district isn’t long, but it does feel longer because of the fact that your cheap headphones broke completely. The speakers blew out as soon as you turned your music on, so now that’s another expense to the list. You could only sigh as you try and wrack up how much everything you need will cost in your head.

You just didn’t have the money for any of this. You don’t even know why you’re going to shop when you still need to buy glasses and get a new eye exam. It’s all so, so stupid. But Sowoen suggested it, and you don’t want to make her or Bada mad by not listening to them.

Once you're at the shopping district, Sowoen is quick to open the door for you, and she even offers her hand to help you out of the car. You take it, hand shaking, but you can’t help the confusion that sits on your face.

“This way, Miss,” she says as you walk forward.

You follow her, looking around at the multitude of shops around you. Even in the early afternoon, there are a bunch of people walking around, and you feel Sowoen’s presence close behind you. You look around, squinting to see your surroundings. Through your blurry vision you see clothes shops, electronic stores, even a few food places here and there.

Smelling the food reminds you that you only had an orange this morning, but you decide not to dwell on the subject.

You and Sowoen walk around in silence, you peering at the shop windows once you got close but not ever going in.

That is, until you pass by an art store. Through the window you can see the warm toned lights, the tubes of paint, the fabrics and the sketch pads. You stop by the window, deciding to look upon the items for a bit longer than usual.

You haven’t painted or drawn anything since the day you met Bada, and it’s been making you antsy. You miss it, but all of your supplies are at home.

“Shall we go in, Miss?” Sowoen says, standing by the door. You blink at her –you seem to be doing that a lot today–, a bit embarrassed at being caught. But if Sowoen suggested it, you should probably listen.

You nod, walking in when Sowoen opens the door for you. You walk down the aisles, passing by yarn and crochet hooks, fabrics and needles, even canvases and desks to sit at.

When you get to the paint, you stop, staring at the Beginner’s paint tubes. There’s a lot more options than the five tubes you have at home, which excites you, even for a little bit. You have to bring them up to your eyes to see what colors they have, though, which reminds you of your much needed and lack of glasses.

Bummed that you can’t buy them, you pout and put them back.

“What about these, Miss?” Sowoen speaks up, and you look over at her. She’s over at the Professional grade paints, looking at the tubes quizzically. “The sign says that these ones last longer, and that the colors are better.”

You shake your head, a small, bitter smile on your face. “I don’t have the money for those. I was just browsing, anyways,” you say, and Sowoen blinks at you.

“Did you leave the boss’ card at home?” She asks, and you shake your head. It’s in your purse now, tucked away in your wallet.

“It’s not my money to spend,” you say as you look at a red tube of paint. “I’d feel bad about using Ms. Lee’s money to buy stuff without asking her for permission first.”

Sowoen is confused. It’s your money. Bada gave you that money to spend. She repeats this fact to you.

“The boss gave you that money to use for yourself, Miss,” Sowoen says, not understanding what you find so difficult to understand.

You bite your lip, bringing a tube of yellow paint close to your face to read the label. “I… still, I wouldn’t feel right using it. I don’t want to burden Ms. Lee more than I already have.” You put the tube back in its place, turning to face Sowoen.

Sowoen is really confused, and she feels like she’s doing a bad job at hiding that confusion on her face.

“Do you want me to… ask the boss if you can use your money?” Sowoen says it slowly, hoping that it will allow her to understand the issue you have.

You shake your head quickly. “No! I mean… no, you don’t have to do that. Ms. Lee is busy,” you nervously chuckle, as if you’re telling a joke, “Plus, I don’t think I’m allowed to have these things anyways. You know, it smells and stuff, because of the quality and stuff! And the paint can get everywhere and ruin everyone’s nice things if you aren’t careful and,” you continue to ramble, trying to pull out every excuse you had, all the while Sowoen stares at you like you have two heads.

Sowoen blinks, once, twice, as she tries to understand your reasoning. “You can just… get the higher quality paints…” Sowoen explains to you, tilting her head as she points to the paints she was looking at earlier.

“But then that’s expensive! I don’t want to waste Ms. Lee’s money on things that aren’t important!”

Sowoen is confused –no matter how many times she admits it, it doesn’t stop the confusion at every new sentence you utter–. Aren’t you rich? Why are you so frugal with money? And not in the rich and stingy way, either.

“If you enjoy it, then it’s not a waste of money…” Sowoen argues, trying her hardest to keep her voice level and clear of judgment. Keep it respectful, just like Bada said.

You tilt your head at that, as if Sowoen is talking in a foreign language. No one has ever said that to you before. Whenever you needed something, you had to earn it, and it had to be useful to you –well, your parents–. You funded your art through your own allowance, saving up for months to even buy a good easel, so that you wouldn’t burden your parents by asking for things.

But now that you don’t have an allowance, you struggle to see how you could do or buy anything. You were never allocated more than fifty-five thousand won per week, sometimes even less depending on how bad of a mood your parents were in, and so you had to scrounge by with what little you had. It meant that you had to really want what you bought. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was your money.

To use Bada’s money just leaves a bad taste in your mouth, especially when it isn’t important to Bada that you’re entertained.

You shake your head, going to move out of the aisle when Sowoen speaks up.

“The boss said that it’s ok for you to use it, like an allowance.” You turn to Sowoen, eyes widening just a bit. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Sowoen. “That money belongs to you, no one else, and the boss will give you a certain amount of money each month for all of your needs.”

Well, Sowoen’s lying.

She doesn’t know why she’s so invested in you buying these paints. She should’ve left it alone when you said no the first time. However, your assumptions about the money Bada gave you are just wrong, and your relationship with money is so familiar to her. And this is the first time she saw you have interest in something. So the lie just slipped out, and then they kept slipping out more and more.

“You shouldn’t refuse the boss’ generosity, Miss,” Sowoen says, not meeting your eyes all the way. “The boss may find that rude…” Sowoen speaks from experience, and doesn’t want you to unnecessarily make the same mistakes she and her friends have made before, but to you it just looks like another threat, another choice you don’t have the right to.

You don’t want to make Bada angry, but you thought maybe being humble would show her that you’re not a threat.

“Oh, ok…” you say, looking away from Sowoen, your heart squeezing in your chest. “If it isn’t rude to Ms. Lee, then I guess I’ll do it…” You pick up a tube of the Beginner’s paint, but Sowoen stops you.

“You said the quality of those weren’t good, Miss. Shouldn’t you get the better ones?”

“I used these all the time at home, so it’s nothing I’m not used to. Plus they’re cheaper,” you try to reassure her.

Sowoen just looks at you, and you put the tubes back as you begin to falter under her blank stare. “But maybe I can get one or two of the good ones, right?”

“Right,” Sowoen nods, watching you as you go towards the Professional grade paints.

This is the first time you’re seeing these types of paints up close. Even in college you only allowed yourself to use the Intermediate level ones when your classes required it, but now you have the opportunity to see the real deal.

But which ones should you get? You need the primaries, plus white and black, but there are so many to choose from that it’s making your head spin. Plus the price, it’s damn near half of your weekly allowance for one small tube of paint.

You can’t help but wince at the price, looking over to Sowoen, who just watches you with the blank stare of hers.

“What colors, uh, what colors do you like? I can’t decide…” You ask tentatively, looking down a bit. Sowoen comes up beside you and immediately chooses a few colors. She must’ve been eyeing them earlier.

You look at her selection as she presents them to you, like a kid showing what she got for Christmas. She picked out two reds, a bright yellow, a green, a purple similar to her hair color, and three blues. You pick up the brighter red, the yellow, and a muted blue from her hand.

“Are you not going to get all of them?” Sowoen asks with a tilt of her head. You shake your head.

“No, this is enough. I don’t want to spend more than…” You feel like Sowoen thinks you’re stupid with the way she stares at you.

“Miss, you have the money for it, and you should have options for things, right?”

“I… I guess, but we still have to buy the canvas and an easel and those can be expensive and–” You cut yourself off as Sowoen puts the paints in your hands. “Ok…” You resign yourself to the fate of spending money that you don’t want to use.

Sowoen makes you follow her as she goes to get a basket, and then proceeds to pick more colors out for you. You have twenty different paints now, more than you’ve ever had in your life, and you’re nervous, but a tiny part of you is excited. You also grab a few canvases, a couple of brushes, paint thinner, and a retractable easel. You close your eyes when the cashier tells you your total, and shakily hand over Bada’s card to her. It is damn near a month and a half worth of your allowance back home, and you just (reluctantly), spent it like it is nothing.

You walk out of the store with Sowoen holding most of your bags–you begged to at least hold the bag of paints–, feeling a little bit giddy.

“Are you sure Ms. Lee won’t mind me having this?” You ask Sowoen for the nth time as you walk towards the car.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Sowoen says, holding the door open for you. She wanted to see if you would go to another store, but with how reluctant you were to buy the art supplies, she just figures that one step at a time is enough.

Not that Sowoen cares, though. She’s just glad that you aren’t isolating yourself in your room. Seeing you do that just brings up bad memories for her, so it’s better that you have something to do. Plus, it is good that she knows you’re not decomposing in your bed doing nothing, so she knows that she’s not failing at her job at watching you. You place your things in the back seat with you, and a small smile threatens to come across your faces.

“Shall we go back to the manor, Miss?” Sowoen asks as she starts the car. Your head snaps up, confusion on your face.

“I thought… Why are we going back to the manor?” You ask, blinking a few times.

“Is there anywhere else you’d like to go, Miss?” Sowoen asks, looking at you in the rearview mirror.

“No…” you say, “But, Ms. Lee said that… that I shouldn’t be in the house. I thought that she didn’t want me to be there…”

Sowoen feels her brows furrow and then straightens her face out. “Why… why would the boss say that?”

She can’t imagine Bada going through all of this effort to move you to the manor only for her to kick you out this early. Especially without getting her money from your parents. You blink at Sowoen, Sowoen blinks at you.

“I don’t know…” you answer, and you sit in silence for the rest of the car ride, thoughts swirling wildly in your head.

You arrive to the manor and follow Sowoen inside, and a maid takes your things to your room. You go to follow her until you stop, turning to Sowoen behind you.

“Um, can I… do you think that… I can go and visit Ms. Lee for a bit?” You ask, playing with the sleeves of your sweater, picking at the threads. Sowoen blinks at you, not expecting you to ever ask that question in your life.

“If she’s not busy, then sure,” Sowoen says, trying to keep her voice level.

You nod, turning on your heel and walking towards Bada’s office, hesitance in your steps. You stop in front of the door, raising your hand to go and knock, but you get too nervous and put your hand down. You repeat the motion two more times before wiping your slightly sweaty hands on your skirt, looking at Sowoen, who is staring at you.

“I’m nervous,” you whisper, stepping back from the door.

“Don’t be,” Sowoen whispers back. “The worst thing the boss could say is that she’s busy.” Well, that’s not entirely true. There are a lot of things Sowoen can imagine her saying that are worse than that, but she wouldn’t tell you that when you’ve gathered the courage to come here.

You lift your hand up once more, going to knock on the door until it opens, revealing Lusher and Tatter on the other side, about to leave the office. You quickly step to the side, bowing slightly, missing the incredulous look they give to Sowoen, and the confused shrug Sowoen gives back. They say nothing as they leave the office, giving you a slight bow back before they round the corner.

You’re embarrassed about being caught at the door, and you are about to scurry back into your room when you hear Bada’s voice from inside the office, sitting at her desk.

“What do you need?” She asks, and you faintly hear the scribble of her pen as she writes on the papers in front of her. You look back at Sowoen, who gestures for you to go inside.

“May… may I enter?” You ask, not moving across the threshold. Bada just nods, and you take a step forward, hands clasped in front of you. The door closes afterwards, and you start to miss Sowoen shadowing behind you. You speak after a beat, “Um, I just wanted to thank you, for, um, allowing me to come back to the manor.” Bada’s hand stops writing momentarily, but she soon continues before you can even notice it. “I know you wanted me to stay outside, but I had bought some things earlier, and Sowoen suggested coming back, so I assumed it was ok for me to be back here,” you ramble, not looking at Bada. “And about the buying-things-with-your-money thing, I really apologize for that, I should’ve asked for permission, I know I should have. So please, if there’s any way for me to pay you back or earn–” Bada looks up at you for a few seconds, silencing you.

“You can buy whatever you want,” Bada says and continues to write on her paper. You stay silent for a second, information turning in your brain.

“Um, yes, but with the card, it’s–”

“You can buy whatever you want. Must you make me repeat myself so often?” Ah, now she is annoyed, and you really should shut up.

Don’t complain, serve, and obey.

You close your mouth, stopping the protest you had on the tip of your tongue.

“No, I apologize,” you say, bowing slightly. You sit there, waiting for her to say you can go.

“You are dismissed,” Bada says after a second or two more. You turn to walk away, and Bada’s voice stops you, “Did you like what you got for yourself?” You turn back to her, thinking about how you have more paint than you’ve ever had before, how the canvases you got aren’t cheap and easily breakable, how the easel you have is brand new and not wobbly. You want to smile.

“Yes,” you answer with a nod.

Bada looks up at you once again before looking back down.

“Good. You may go.”

You exit the office then, chest still not filled with relief, but a little less hesitant about the things ahead of you.

#bada lee x reader #bada lee #lee bada x y/n #bada x reader #bada x fem reader #bada lee x y/n #lee bada x reader #team bebe #lee bada #swf2 #swf2 x reader

[gaypirate420]

Rest // Jasper W. Hale.

Jasper Whitlock-Hale x gn!reader.

Summary: You tell Jasper about your academic performance's downhill.

Fluff/angst. Burnout.

You sigh.

Your body falls down into Jasper's newly acquired bed, feeling your body slowly giving up after a very long day.

The vampire tilts his head as he gets a peek of your emotions, he lies down next to you, your head it's buried deep into one of the pillows.

He smirks and runs his cold fingers through your head. It's so pleasant, you feel the upcoming headache calm down.

"I missed you, sugar." Jasper whispers, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer. You look at him, meeting his golden eyes.

"I'm sorry, cowboy. School has been... killing me. I missed you too." You mumble back with another deep sigh, the vampire nods in understatement and kisses your forehead.

Truth is you haven't really thought about Jasper. Not because you don't love him anymore but because you just haven't thought about anything. Not school. Not about eating and waking early. Not about talking with him all day through the phone. Nothing at all. You feel empty.

"I know, darlin'. I know. Just let me take care of you today, you deserve a rest." Jasper speaks softly as his fingers rubbed small circles on your back. You felt yourself getting a little teary, being spoiled for a day sounds so nice and the little circles he rubs on are so relaxing. Now you feel so guilty for just being absent this couple of days.

"You've been working so hard." He whispers, and that makes the tears to fall down, and you can't lie. You shake your head no.

"No...No I haven't." You whisper as your voice cracks. Jasper looks down at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean, sugar? It's everything alright?" He asks with so much care and worry as his fingers caress your teary face.

"I- I- just...I just... I've been skipping lots of classes...entire days." You speak between small sobs. Jasper nods slowly as he listens.

"I- I- I- I can't- I can't get up in the morning some days. I just can't." You whisper, the vampire wipes your tears with his thumb.

"I just sleep so little and do so much everyday. It's not a bad thing I want to sleep a little more, r-right?" You asked.

"No, it's not, sugar. There's nothing wrong with just wanting to stay in bed and do nothing." He speaks back with a soft tone as he brings you closer. You bury your head on his chest and start to sob again. The vampire feels his heart break as he witnesses your smaller frame shake with every sob and choke on every word.

"I'm alone all day on school. I don't have friends. I don't know how to talk to anyone. I don't have a reason to get up in the morning, to get ready and shower..." You sobbed against his chest as he stroked your hair.

"Oh, my darlin'. Why haven't you told me anything? You know I'll always help you out when it's getting tough." The blonde whispers oh so gently, he means it. He'll be there.

"It's not as bad as other times. I thought it wasn't worth it to bother you, you have your life besides me." You whisper, Jasper sighs. The vampire can feel it with his gift and what he calls the boyfriend sixth sense. It is that bad.

"Nonsense, sweetheart. Bother me always. In the middle of the night, on the weekends, when I'm at school or out hunting. Bother me. Bother me and talk to me." The blonde whispers with a little more roughness, to get the message clear but still very gentle and soft. You just felt the tears falling down and the knot on your throat tighten.

He looks at you, you nod to tell him you understood.

"Can I stay here the rest of the week? I p-promise I'll go to school on monday." You whisper with a broken voice, you feel like a little kid asking their parents for permission to skip a day.

"I just want to rest. I'm so tired." You barely can choke the words out as the tears fall down uncontrollably. He cups your face as you tremble and sob.

"I know, my darlin'. It's alright. I'll take care of everything. Just breathe." He whispers softly as he guides you through a more calm couple of breaths.

"You're so nice to me I do-" Before you can finish your self-loading filled sentence Jasper's lips are on yours, a gentle kiss leaving you speechless.

"Shhh...hush now, sugar. Just calm down and rest. You deserve it. Even if you feel you don't. Even if you think you've done nothing. You're allowed to feel tired. You're allowed to rest." Jasper whispers, his eyes looking into yours, you nod slowly again as his words make you feel validated and understood for the first time in a long time.

"Good. Now, my darlin'. Close your eyes and rest for as long as you need. I'll be here, as always." The blonde smiles and kisses your forehead before you nuzzle against his shoulder.

You melt slowly into his arms, the tiredness and exhaustion finally taking massive tool on your body.

"Your bed it's so soft...." You mumble before your eyes close. The vampire chuckles as he wraps his arms tighter around you.

"Glad you like it, sugar. I got it just for you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hello, here is a very self indulgent fic. I'm a little stressed out in school so I wrote this before going to bed. Hope ya like it.

#jasper whitlock hale #jasper whitlock #jasper cullen #jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #twilight x reader #twilight x y/n #jasper hale x y/n #jasper hale x you #effervescent

[barcalover86]

Hey idk if you want to, feel free to ignore this request- but can you maybe do a part 2 to the showering after surgery? I rlly loved the fic🫶🏻🫶🏻

Showering after surgery p.2

First part

You tried to forget about your conversation with Gavi from yesterday night.

It's true that you were nervous to see Gavi naked for the first time, but he was Pablo Gavi. Everyone knows that he is beautiful.

He's been an athlete for so long, of course that his body was breath-taking.

But when he suggested that you two shower together, you weren't even nervous anymore. You were just scared.

A lot of what ifs were coming into your mind.

The truth is that you won't be the first girl he saw naked, and the other girls all had model type of body. What if he considers you ugly?

What if he finds you that ugly that he breaks up with you?

You imagined a lot of similar scenes until Gavi finally woke up.

You couldn't sleep all night, and he could see that something had bothered you.

"You okay?"

He seemed truly concerned about your health.

That's it. An idea came into your mind.

"Just a bit sick. I kinda have a headache." you lied.

"I'm sure a bath will help you. Let me get it ready for you-"

Oh shit.

"No, no, it's okay-"

"We had to shower together this morning anyway."

He got up from the bed and walked himself to the bathroom to prepare you the bath.

You've got all anxious by now and tried to find any reason for you not to shower.

"You just showered yesterday night and it wasn't easy for your knee. You'll be in pain, Gavi"

"Anything for my girl."

"Gavi, be for real now."

"What?"

He then suddenly realised. Or he thought that was the reason.

His face immediately got sad, and he stopped.

Now you didn't understand what was going on anymore.

He walked himself back to his room and opened the TV.

"So we won't shower anymore?" you asked surprised and also really confused by his actions.

"Well, you don't seem to want me. That's for sure."

"What!? No, Gavi-"

"No, please. I don't want to argue with you, ok?" he said in a sweet tone.

"Me neither, but it's not what you think."

For some seconds neither of you said anything.

"Ok, get up. We're going to have a bath together." you said while trying to help Pablo getting out of the bed.

"I'm too tired now."

"Gavi!" you shouted. "Please.."

When you were both in the bathroom, you were the first one to get your chlotes off.

You wanted to fasten things up so that he won't get to see you naked that long. You were really embarrassed and shy.

He stopped his movements and then looked at you.

"Y/n, y/n." he then holds you. "Tell me what's bothering you."

He looks into your eyes with so much love and adoration that eventually made you blush.

He smiled seeing your red cheeks and then kissed your lips shortly.

"You know I love you, so tell me."

You try to find the courage to look into his eyes, but you fail, so he helped you while moving your chin up.

"It's just.. you are Pablo Gavi and-"

"Well that's good to know." he starts laughing.

"Please, don't laugh. " he immediately stopped, knowing that this was something serious .

"You are Pablo Gavi and I'm just a normal girl-"

"Which I love with all my heart.." he continued.

"That's so sweet of you, but please don't stop me, otherwise I won't tell you."

He nodded, clearly understanding.

"You are Pablo Gavi, and I'm just a normal girl, and you've been with so many other beautiful women and I'm really really shy and scared that you won't like my body that much and that you will judge me."

He wanted so bad to interrupt you, but he knew that you had to take it all out of your heart.

So you continued.

"And I don't wanna sound dramatic or something, but even yesterday when I saw you all in front of me, I just couldn't realise that you chose me out of all those gorgeous girls. Because you are so, so beautiful. "

He started to tear up and hugged you tight.

"Bebé.."

"Do you think I'm beautiful?" you asked him.

He then took off all your chlotes and smiled.

"You are more than beautiful."

From your face, he knew that you didn't believe him so when he undressed himself too, you got into the hot water together.

He was holding you in front of him.

"I've been with many girls, that's true. But no one felt like you. You aren't just beautiful, you are sweet and kind and a really nice company. I chose you because I love you. Your body fits perfectly with mine." he kissed your left cheek. "You are the one that is now with me at my worst. Not them. You are the one who takes care of me. Not them."

You kissed his lips lovely, before helping him shower again, because the boy was in a lot of pain because of his knee.

After you were done with him, he helped you wash your hair, massaging it.

Everything felt so good.

"Do you still have that headache?"

He laughed, knowing that you lied.

You showed him your tongue and smiled at him.

"I love you" you said, hugging him tight from behind. "And I'll make your recovery easier. I promise."

"I know you will."

#fc barca #fc barcelona #football #pablo gavi #pablo gavira #pablo martín páez gavira #gavi #gavi imagine #gavi x reader #gavi x yn #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi x you #gavi x you

[httpdwaekki]

bad day | s.c.

summary: you messed up at work, leading to an anxiety filled, draining day but luckily your beautiful boy is there to make it all better.

wc: 1.7k

warnings: not proofread, lots too many of pet names, nudity (nothing sexual), mentions of anxiety and dissociation, pure fluff. lmk if i missed any.

a/n: v self indulgent because i fucked up at work a few days ago and have been anxious and need some good ole binnie fluff in my life. i haven't written in a while so feedback is always appreciated. love u, drink ur water, take ur medicine and remember ur loved <3

*lowercase intended*

my library

(pictures not mine! credits to owner)

to say you were having a bad day would be an understatement. you were tired, you were grumpy, and didn’t feel good. but it all came crumbling down the moment you realized you had missed an important deadline for work. you misread the date for an important project, which meant you had to send in it yesterday and not today.

you were defeated. you wanted to go home and curl up into a soft blanket and shut the world out. but unfortunately you had to finish out an anxiety riddled work day, waiting for your boss to come in and berate you. luckily that never came but it didn’t stop the side comments from your coworkers, about how much of a headache you’ve caused. you finished your work day but the anxiety never left.

you’ve never driven home faster, just wanting to shower and cuddle with your boyfriend and forget about your day. as you opened the door to your apartment, you kicked off your shoes, threw down your work bag and leaned against the door, letting out a sigh of relief.

“jagiya?” you had to keep your tears at bay, just hearing his voice after the day you’d had, made you crumble. you make your way to the living room where you find your boyfriend in sweats and a t-shirt, hair in its natural, slightly disheveled state and glasses, slightly slipping off his nose. 

you couldn’t stop the pout from forming before dropping yourself next to him, shoving your upper body into him. “yah! jagi, what’s wrong?” he asks, confused by your sudden move and mood. you just shake your head, burying yourself further into him. he understands immediately, wrapping his arms around you, kissing your head.

“okay, jagi, okay, it’s okay.” he whispered, rubbing soothing circles on your back. you two sit like this for a while, him whispering sweet nothings, pressing kisses anywhere he could reach. once he felt you relax a bit,  he pressed a long kiss to your hair before pulling back a bit. “bunny?” he moves his hand to the nape of your neck. “can you look at me for a second please?”

you sniffle before wiping your eyes, moving so you were sitting in front of him on his lap, legs resting on either side of him. his hands drop to your waist, rubbing soothing circles on your hips with his thumbs. you start playing with the hem of his shirt, just collecting your thoughts.

“what’s going on, hm?” he taps your chin lightly, “ what’s got my jagi so upset?” you sigh, finally glancing up to meet his eyes. “i just had a really bad day.” you mumbled, fiddling with the hem of his shirt once more. “oh, bunny.” he coos, placing his hand on your cheek, wiping a stray tear because gently caressing the soft skin.

“do you wanna talk about it?” he asked softly. you shook your head, “i just want cuddles and maybe a nap.” he nodded, “okay sweet girl. come on then.” he slowly scoots to the edge, “ wrap your legs around me, sweet girl.” he whispered, tapping your thighs. you wrapped your legs around his torso, before wrapping your arms around his neck, shoving your face in his neck.

“good job baby, you ready?” he asks, placing his hands under your thighs. you nod against him, tighten your limbs wrapped around him. he effortlessly stands up, adjusting slightly before making way to your shared bedroom.

once in the room, he gently lays you on the bed. “i’m gonna get you something comfy to wear, okay baby?” you nod, reluctantly letting go of him. you grab a blanket, hugging it, waiting for his return.

minutes pass, you feel yourself dissociate before your beautiful boy appears in front of you with shorts and your (his) favorite hoodie. he places the articles on the bed before sitting in front of you, placing a gentle hand on your cheek. snapping you back to reality, looking at him, a small smile forming on his face. “hi my baby.” he whispers, thumb gently caressing your cheek. your eyes soften looking back at him, “hi.” you mumbled back.

“i’m gonna help you get changed, okay?” you nodded, gently grabbing the hand on your cheek, kissing the palm, a token of your gratitude. he smiles, rubbing your cheek, kissing your forehead, standing up.

“i’m gonna take off your shirt. okay?” you nod, putting your hands up. he grabs the hem of your shirt, bringing it up and over your head. “do you want me to take your bra off too, baby?” you nod, reaching behind to undo the clasp. he grabs the straps, pulling it from your body, giving each shoulder a peck.

“my beautiful girl.” he mumbled, kissing your cheek before grabbing the hoodie, slipping it over your head, letting you slip your arms through the sleeves. “do you want shorts or no?” he asked holding them for you to see. you pondered for a second before shaking your head no. he nodded, putting the shorts back on the bed, before lightly tapping your thigh, “stand up for me bunny.” you stand up, pulling the sleeves over your hands.

changbin makes quick work of unbuttoning and unzipping your itchy jeans, leaning down to pull them down gently. you place your sleeve covered hands on his shoulders to stable yourself as you step out of the uncomfortable material. he lays the jeans to the side for him to deal with later.

he places a soft kiss on each thigh on his way back up. he reaches behind you, moving the soft blankets, to give you space to slip under them. “come on, jagiya.” he says softly, watching you make home under the covers. he pulls the covers up to your chin, tucking you in before placing a callused hand on your cheek, stroking it a few times before placing a loving kiss on your forehead.

you let out a sigh of relief, feeling the anxiety leaving your body little by little. he pulls away, grabbing the shorts and your work clothes from the day, making his way to your closet, throwing the clothes in the laundry baskets and placing the shorts back in their place.

he walks back over to his side of the bed, repeating the same process with the blankets before pulling you into his chest. you relax into his chest as he wraps his arms around you, placing a kiss on the top of your head. you place a soft kiss over his heart, as a silent thank you for taking care of you.

“i don’t know what happened,” he starts softly, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “but whatever it was, i hope you know how proud i am of you and love you no matter what. you put your all into what you do and i know you and i know you’re beating yourself about it but please don’t” he pauses.

“ i know it’s easier said than done but fuck baby, i hate seeing you tear yourself down. you work so hard, and you never give yourself a break and it breaks my heart.” you feel the familiar lump begin to form once more. you shake your head before covering your face with your hands, before shoving it back into his chest.

“i just feel so stupid and defeated.” you cried. you feel him tightened his arms around you, one arm around you back, the other cradling the back of your neck. “baby you’re not stupid, please never say that again.” he places a kiss on your hair. “you’re the smartest, most intelligent person i’ve ever met.”

you shook your head, pulling away slightly, before taking a breath. “what’s going on, what happened today?” he asked softly, wiping your tears. “i fucked up.” you whispered. “i thought i had another day for my project but it was due yesterday.” you explained, playing with strings of your hoodie. “my boss is upset, everyone’s mad at me, they keep making side comments about how i’ve caused a headache and it’s all too much.” you roll onto your back, looking up at the ceiling, trying to stop your tears.

“baby.” you don’t move, scared of what he’s gonna say next. “baby, look at me.” you turn head to face him, tears glistening on your eyelashes. “ you are not stupid. you are human and you made an honest mistake, okay?.” he paused, waiting for you to respond.

you nodded. “and you know what, fuck your coworkers and your boss, they’re all bitch made and complain about the stupidest things anyway.” you giggled, covering your face once more..

“shut up, bin.” you laughed. “no no no, i just got you smiling again, don’t hide from me.” he joked, grabbing your hands, revealing your smiling, tear-stained face. “there she is.” he cooed. you blushed looking up at him, suddenly tugging im down to you. “yah!” he exclaimed, giggling with you.

you hugged him tight, his arms coming to do the same. you shove your face into his neck, staying there for a moment before placing a kiss there. “thank you, bubba,” you murmured into his skin. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.” squeezing him one more time before feeling him pull away.

you let him go, arms resting on his biceps, looking at each other for a moment. he then starting smothering your face in kisses causing you to giggle once more. “binnie! oh my god, please.” you say laughing pushing him back. 

“okay okay, i’m sorry i just wanted to hear you laugh again.’ he conceded.”but seriously, you never have to thank me for that, it’s what i’m here for, okay?” you smiled and nodded. “good, now naptime for my favorite sleepy girl.” he said before giving you a kiss followed by a loud “muah!” laying down, pulling you into him again. 

you settle against his chest once more, feeling lighter and tired. “i love you so much my sweet, smart girl, never forget that.” you blush, kissing his heart once more. “i love you too binnie, more than you know..” a light smile, gracing your face once more as you feel yourself falling into dreamland, in the arms of your favorite boy.

a/n: ngl i got lost in the sauce and it was taking too long to finish this so i kinda rushed the ending but i'll try to revisit it when i proofread it to improve it :)

#seo changbin #changbin #stray kids #changbin fluff #changbin imagine #changbin fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagine #stray kids fic #stray kids x reader #changbin x reader #skz scenarios #skz x you #changbin x you #changbin oneshot #stray kids oneshot #stray kids drabble #changbin drabble

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; 12

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 5.3k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | mentions of death, drinking, disease (cancer)

note | surpisingly, i am still alive lol i'm kidding. i apologize for the delay! the bad headaches are now gone and the fever has cooled down. and now, the update's here! to everyone who sent their messages, tysm I appreciate it 🥺 I didn't mean to ghost y'all, I'm so sorry! anw hope u enjoy reading this one :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Ever since you were young, you liked things to go the way you planned it. When you were younger, you carried a small notebook with you. Your father gave you your first one during the holidays when you were seven. In there, you make your own little bullet journal, listing off the things you would want to do for the upcoming days. With your messy handwriting, you even wrote your far future plans.

As a child, you used to see things with your rose-colored glasses. Everything seemed real and attainable for your small hands. You thought you just had to follow the usual path of your plans and you would be fine. But things do not always go according to plan. You learned it the hard way.

You always dreamt of being a nurse. At age eight, you were a frequent visitor to the hospital. Not because you were sick yourself, but because you and your mom had to go back there from time to time with your dad who was receiving treatment for his disease. You wanted to take care of him. So you did what a little girl could do, listen to your dad’s heartbeat through your plastic toy stethoscope and kiss his pain away. He would always call you his favorite nurse and you would give him your toothy grin. After a year, when you were nine, he lost his battle with cancer. 

Confused and in sorrow, you almost crossed out that dream from your list. You had a hard time understanding why you had to lose your dad at such an early age. Your friends had dads, how come you lost yours before you could even reach middle school? Then, you became angry. Your father was always in treatment in the hospital. Hospitals are meant to cure people, right? Your little kid brain thought. It felt unfair to you.

But then, you and your mom later left the small neighborhood you were living in and moved in with your aunt– her older sister. Aunty Belle is a nurse herself, a surprise for you as you didn’t know you have a relative who works in the same place you loathed at that time. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her, she was warm and welcoming when you arrived in her humble abode in Incheon. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she took good care of you and your mom. She became your third parent while your mom deals with the grief of losing her husband.

“It’s fun. You get to meet wonderful people every day and help them to feel better.” your aunt replied once when you asked her about her job.

Aunty Belle never got tired of your questions and curiosity about nursing. Slowly, you began rebuilding your plans. The dream of being a nurse is back, added with your other dreams: making your mom happy, and living independently (like your aunt). You studied hard, aiming for higher grades and going to the best college for your dreams.

But at age fifteen, Aunty Belle became your legal guardian when your mom passed. Through your aunt, you learned that your mother has been struggling heavier than you expected. Your aunt was extremely worried for your mom that’s why she begged her to come and live with her. You always thought your mom was getting better with how she cried less day by day and even took a job as a receptionist in a dental clinic. 

Since then, you have become more understanding and emotionally sensitive to everyone. The feelings you had years ago when you lost your dad were creeping around you. This time, instead of being angry at something else, you felt like this one was on you. You blamed yourself for not seeing the signs from your mother’s eyes. How she became more reserved or how her eyes were often blank whenever she tried to smile for you. Maybe you were too focused on reaching your plans that you didn’t give any attention to her. You were angry, hurt, and in guilt. It’s too overwhelming and is heavy in your heart. It reached the point where you broke down during breakfast, in front of the toast and bacon Aunty Belle prepared for you, weeks after your mom’s funeral.

“I should’ve seen it. I should have seen that she was not okay.” you sniffed as you looked down your plate. “I was supposed to make her feel better and happy.”

Crying, you pushed your plate in front of you and just covered your face with your palms. You repeated the words over and over again like you were reminding yourself how you failed as your mom’s only child.

“Oh, sweetie…” your aunt whispered before sitting beside you and enveloping you in a hug. Her hand moved up and down your arms, making you feel warm. “It’s not your fault. You are the best daughter she could ask for. She loves you more than anything else.”

After that morning, Aunty Belle made sure to get you the best help. She guided you in everything she could and supported you with your choices. She made sure that you will still pursue your plans, never stopping you from doing what you want. Years later, you graduated from high school and were about to embark on a new journey.

“You know that you can just have this place,” she mumbled when you were packing your things. “I’m selling it anyway.”

“But Aunty, this isn’t in my plan. You know how bad I want to live in Seoul.” you smiled at her.

Because of your efforts and hard work, you got accepted into one of the best universities in another city. You later moved from Incheon to Seoul to finish your studies and become a nurse there. While Aunty Belle sold her home and followed her own plans of living with her longtime best friends under one roof.

But none of what happened in the last few years was part of your plans when you were younger. You didn’t really see yourself coming back to Incheon after living in Seoul for the longest time. You never thought you would leave your job in the hospital you dreamed of and work in a slightly different environment.

Two years ago, you left home. The house you had plans in with someone else. You were the one who broke off those plans and moved away without really telling anyone. You remembered that night like it was yesterday.

Every step you took away from him felt like a piece of you fell on the ground. Your vision was all blurry and you had to cover your lips as you sobbed. You clutched onto your gown while you remind yourself that you need to do this. For the sake of your own being. But still, there is this voice telling you to stay– to turn around and come back to him.

“YN, honey,” 

Looking up, you see Julia looking at you with sympathy. She walked towards you with open arms and you immediately just broke down on her dress. Listening to your sobs, Julia eyes her date, whom you didn’t notice was there waiting too, to get in the car. 

Your whispered voice muffled in the hug, “I hate this so much,”

The whole drive home, Julia and Chanyeol respected your silence in the backseat. They put on some radio music and chatted about the wedding while your teary eyes just looked outside the window. They were like your parents that night. When you guys passed by McDonald’s, it took one nudge from Julia to make Chanyeol turn the car back around for the drive-thru. She ordered your food for you in a separate bag so you could have something to eat when you reached home. When you arrived in front of your house, they helped you with your small bag. 

“Thank you so much, guys. I’m sorry this is our first meeting, Chanyeol.” you tried to lighten the mood as you three stood on the porch.

He smiled, “It’s fine. Everyone has their bad day.”

You chuckled before Julia nudged her again with her elbow. Then, she turns to you.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Probably early morning. I already have the keys to keep my apartment so I can go there now too if I want to.” your words rambled as your head felt like a mess.

“Okay, call me. I’ll pick you up–” Before you can say anything, she lifts her finger. “And no, I won’t take no for an answer. I wanna see your new place.”

They left after Julia made sure you were fine. Walking into your house for the last time, you tried to go straight to your room to change from your gown to your pajamas. Then, you cried again. And again. And again. 

The last time you woke up in that house was the morning after that. You woke up before dawn. The sky was barely lit and the moon was still present above you. You promised yourself that you would leave like a ghost. Like what you have been doing the last few days. Cleaning up, your hand ran on your bedsheets to smoothen out the wrinkles. Fortunately, almost ninety percent of your clothes fit in two pieces of luggage. You just have to leave a few things that you’ll probably get when you get back.

From Julia

Will be there in five

Five minutes left, you find yourself sitting in front of your vanity mirror. Making one last check, you pulled the small drawers in the table. That’s when you saw that old pearl ring Taehyung bought you in the flea market. A heavy sigh from your chest makes its way out of your lips. Holding it between your thumb and index finger, you stare at it.

We tried, didn’t we?

Before any tears can fall, you simply close your eyes. Your chest heaves. You clutched that ring in your palm for some minute, like you were giving your one last goodbye. Then, you carefully place it next to your keys. You decided to leave your keys as you don’t want to come and go here in secret as you always have the tendency to do that especially if you want to avoid a person. Like you were doing now. You want to come back here better and hopefully, talk to Taehyung in the future.

Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.

You wrote on a piece of paper that you left on the same table. In the weeks you two lived together after the accident, you knew how he struggled to adjust to this house. Now that you’re going, you wish for him to feel comfortable in this house you two shared and called home. The pieces of furniture and shade of blue that took over every wall in the house were picked by both you and Taehyung when you bought it. The frame kept every memory you and Taehyung love to look back on in the span of your four-year relationship. But if it means for him to feel at home, you won’t mind if he wants to change things around the house. Even though it will probably break your heart harder than it is now.

“You…”

It was only your first morning, the second day in your new apartment in Incheon when someone came knocking on your door. You were still organizing your place and unpacking when you heard continuous heavy knocks. Almost instantly, your eyes widened when you saw who it was through your door’s peephole. The person spoke again as soon as you opened your door.

“You moved?!” Jisoo immediately pushed through your door and welcomed herself in. “You moved here?!”

Based on the tone of her voice, she was more angry than surprised. Her eyebrows were scrunched together while her nose flared. Her hands were on her hips like she was waiting for an explanation. Your lips opened for a second before it closed again. You softly scratched your cheek before opening your lips again,

“I-I thought you were on your honeymoon vacation.”

She tilts her head, “Well, I’m not. Am I?”

“Why are you here?” you mumbled, sounding scared at her.

The thing is, Jisoo rarely gets angry or annoyed. You had known her ever since you began working as a nurse and you learned she have the longest patience for everyone else. But when she runs out of it, you don’t know how she will react.

“Why are you here?” she returned your question with raised eyebrows. “You did not tell me you were moving here or resigning in the hospital! What happened?”

You closed the door and quietly walked back to your messy living room since you knew she would follow. She did and continued,

“I saw the shift schedule like two hours ago and you’re not there. I had to ask Gail and she said you resigned. You were not answering my calls or messages! I had to call Julia. Then, she told me you moved here– What the fuck happened? I was only busy for like two weeks and next thing I know, my best friend’s in another city and hospital.”

You sat on your grey couch while Jisoo still stood in front of you. You looked away as your replied,

“Well, actually I’ll be working in a school–”

Jisoo’s tone went higher, “What?!”

“I applied as a school nurse–”

“No, no, no.” she shushed you. “Tell me everything that happened. Everything.”

So you did. But first, you asked her to sit down next to you. You ordered food by app as you don’t really have any stock of food at the moment. While you were waiting for the food, you began telling her about what happened. From how you met Lily to how you happened to be where you are right now. Jisoo listened intently. As you went on, you noticed her shoulders and facial expression softened up. From her jaw being clenched tight, her lips were formed into a slight frown. You tried not to cry throughout the whole story-telling impromptu but your voice did shake and you just felt your best friend’s warm hands somewhere in the middle of your story. At the end, you find yourself leaning your head on her shoulder while she leans hers on top.

“I and Joon just decided to go on honeymoon next month. Plus, I have a toaster and an air fryer in my car.” Jisoo broke the comfortable silence you two shared with a random sentence.

You lifted your head, looking at her, “What? Why?”

“We received like a ton of it from the wedding. We had to give some stuff away rather than selling it and I just knew your place is probably still empty. So I just bought some. I have plates too.” she smiled.

“But what if I was the one who gave you that toaster?” you asked, squinting your eyes.

“You did not.” she chuckled but your expression didn’t change. She blinked and asked with a feeble voice, “You did not, right?”

Your lips broke into a smile, “Yeah, we didn’t.”

She pouted before you two laughed and hugged. Just like that, you and Jisoo are okay.

Unlike any of your past decisions, nothing was truly planned when you decided to move away. Aunty Belle, whom you visit every now and then, comforted you about it and said that life just happens like that sometimes. And that’s how your two years went. Unplanned. You just applied for the first good job you saw, which happened to be being a school nurse in a preschool. You moved to another apartment after just a few months since your initial place is farther on the subway you always take to get to the school every morning.

Working with kids, you always miss your patients back in Seoul. Particularly, Naeun, whom you are still in contact with. You visit her a couple of times when you go to Seoul.

And there were times when you thought you saw Taehyung. Not just in Seoul, but also in Incheon. The first one was just months after you left, you were on your way to preschool when you saw him in the subway. But you thought it was just a look-alike and impossible since he would not have any reason to come here. Plus, you were feeling a little down that week as it was supposedly your fifth anniversary. The next time is when you come to Seoul to visit Naeun. It was a busy Sunday and you stopped by a toy store in the mall to get a gift for your favorite patient. It was a bit crowded since it was on sale. So you lost him in the blink of an eye.

The most recent one is when you came to Seoul for Julia’s birthday. You had a few drinks with your friends and everything was already slightly blurry. But you swore you saw him when you were waiting for your Uber late at night. You were with Julia, who was waiting with you just to make sure you’d be safe. She was talking about something but your eyes caught a man walking on the other side of the road with his head down on his phone. The small light coming from his screen made you recognize him. It’s him, you’re sure.

Although you have visited the city a couple of times already, you never drop by the bakeshop or the house. You never even contacted Taehyung. There were times it crossed your mind. But you never did. You miss him. God knows, how much. But you don’t know what to say about the house, him, you, or the relationship you two had.

You and Jimin talked seldomly. The first one was a week after you and Taehyung officially went separate ways. He would ask how are you and you would do the same thing. You were surprised but happy at the same time when you learned he had a kid, who happens to be Jisoo’s nephew. You two had this unspoken rule to not talk about Taehyung because Jimin doesn’t bring him up and you are too shy to ask. But you know they are doing well, you heard they expanded the shop.

In the whole two years, Taehyung never really left your mind. It’s hard. Especially when you would still get random reminders of your relationship in unexpected ways. In what was supposed to be your fifth anniversary, you got a scheduled e-mail from his account. Every year, your phone calendar still updates you to buy him a gift a month before his birthday. And just like last month, you found an old picture in one of your bags. Something you probably slipped there long ago. It’s a picture taken years ago during your first snow in your house with a handwritten caption, TOO MORE SNOWY DAYS TOGETHER. It was in his handwriting.

“Goodbye, Nurse YN!”

A little kid waved his little hand to you while his mom politely smiled at you. You waved back and continued walking back from your small clinic. This is how your day ends in school: tiny voices saying goodbye and sometimes giving you warm hugs. You were never really busy since you worked with two other school nurses who you became friends with. 

“Oh, hey, YN.”

You just sat in front of your computer screen, recording some student’s health records, when your co-nurse popped into your shared office. Martha just found her recent hobby a couple of months ago after you told her that you haven’t been dating for the last couple of years.

You exaggeratedly sighed and did not even look at her, “What do you want?”

“YN sounds so tired of you already.” Aileen, your other co-nurse, laughed while organizing her files.

“I know, she is.” Martha chuckled. She turns to you, “I know a guy…”

You paused from what you were doing, “Martha–” 

It’s not like you’re not interested in dating. It took you more than a year to be open again to the idea and so far, you’ve gone into two dates from Martha’s recommendations. But both were not a match. The first one is a great guy but he seems like he cannot get over an ex since he talked about her half of the time. While the second guy is just rude. That’s all you can say about him. The date was all about him not liking how the steak was cooked and how one of the waiters was too kind to you. It was horrible.

“No, no, honey. Listen to me first.” Matha cuts you off. “I personally know this guy. He’s my cousin and… he also works in the medical field! He’s a doctor.”

An eyebrow raised. A doctor? Well, you never dated one before. But you knew doctors were better than that last guy you mentioned.

Aileen joined, “Is he the one you showed me earlier?

“Yup,” Martha replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.

“Oh, you’ve got to see him, YN. The guy is gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “If you won’t date him, I will!”

The three of you laughed. Of course, Aileen can’t. She is currently seven months pregnant with her second child and married to one of the teachers in this same preschool.

“Just don’t tell Seb,” she added, mentioning her husband.

You still haven’t said anything even though you are admittedly interested. Martha pulled her phone out.

“Wait, I’ll show you his account.”

“Oh, that dress suits you perfectly!”

Jisoo’s voice filled your room as you fixed the dress on your body. Even though you two are in different cities, she is still your go-to every time you need to dress up for something. Usually, through Facetiming. The date is fine-dining. So, you tried on different dresses for Jisoo to pick on and eventually, you two agreed on the same one.

“Don’t forget your coat! It might get cold,” she advised. “Now, turn around again!”

You giggled before doing what she said. You heard her cheer and compliments, making you smile.

“You are stunning!”

“Thank you so much for helping me, Jiji,” you said with a small smile.

“You’re welcome. Just have fun, okay? Let me know how it goes later.” she told you and you nodded. She spoke again, “Now, go! Book that Uber already.”

“Okay, okay. Bye! Call you later. Love you!” you waved.

She waved back, “Love you, take care!”

You ended the call and moved to another app to look for a ride. Your date initially asked if you wanted him to pick you up. But you just agreed to meet him at the restaurant he invited you to. He seems nice. Martha said her cousin has been single for a while now. After his last relationship, he just gave most of his time to work.

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi! I’m on my way. See you there.

You sent your date the message when you finally got in the car you booked twenty minutes ago. It did not even take a few minutes before he replied,

From +82 65 78** ****

Okay, see you there! Take care.

Pursing your lips, you look outside the window of the moving car. You hope for the best for tonight. You hope Martha’s recommendation is at least okay this time. Maybe the universe could prove to you that Taehyung is not the only guy in the world who could make the butterflies play around in your stomach. Or the only guy who would be patient enough with your tendencies. You just have to know that he is not the only guy in the world. Period.

As much as you won’t say it, dating Taehyung for four years made him your standard for everything. You already met two versions of him; one before the accident and one after the accident. They are almost the same person but the latter just brought you a lot of pain because of various circumstances. But you know and feel he shows his emotions in other ways.

“We’re here.” the female driver, whom you saw is Val, said as she stopped the car in front of the brightly lit restaurant.

You smiled before getting out of the vehicle, “Thank you.”

Starry Night lives up to its name. As you noticed before, the whole place is lit up with many lights. Carefully, you walked inside with your strappy heels. The staff smiled and greeted you, and you greeted them back.

“Good evening, madam. Welcome to Starry Night. How may I help you?”

“I have a reservation under Jung Hoseok’s name.” you politely replied.

“Oh, okay. Let me check our list. Excuse me.” the host scrolled down his iPad for a minute. “The name’s here! Please, follow me to your table. This way please.” 

You followed him while looking around the place. It’s not too crowded and it has a romantic feeling because of the lights and jazz music. You know someone who would have loved to go here. Before you sit down, the host assisted you with the chair and offered to take your coat. You agreed. Pulling out your phone from your purse, you update Hoseok that you just arrived. You put your phone down and studied the whole place again with your eyes. 

A woman caught your eye. She was talking and chatting with the chef in the side station. They looked like they were waiting for someone to enter the door. Your gaze were broke off when someone spoke from your side.

“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Soojin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. Would you like to order something?” the young waiter smiled.

“Oh, I’m still waiting for my date…” you murmured. “But can I have some water please?”

“Certainly, ma’am. Excuse me.”

Soojin left as you said thank you. As she was gone from your sight, your eyes landed on the man who was entering the restaurant. Dressed in a nice black coat over a light blue shirt, you quickly recognize him. Your mouth runs dry while your heart beats like a horse’s footsteps in a race. You were frozen.

What is he doing he– Fuck.

Your eyes meet. You can see his eyes widening as his lips gaped slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while you practically lost your hearing. All you can hear is the drum inside your chest.

Fuck, you cursed again.

What are the chances for this to happen? Is the universe playing or simply fucking with you? You asked for a great date and it gave you this. The man you’ve been holding as your standard ever since. 

It burns.

His eyes. You can feel them as you take a sip from the ice-cold glass of water. After the host led him to one of the empty tables in your line, your eyes traveled everywhere except on his spot. You two were literally just an empty table apart.

Is he here for a date? Why here? In Incheon, really? Can’t he just date people from Seoul?

It has been nine minutes, you’ve been counting. Your hand rests on your knee, to stop your knees from jerking up and down, while the other rests on the table with your phone. You’ve been texting but erasing messages to Hoseok. You don’t think you can do this. With Taehyung being just a few feet away from you, it felt wrong to be with someone else. You should have been sitting right in front of him.

Slowly, you try to move your eyes in his direction. You paused when you saw that he was staring at you too, unmovable. Are you supposed to smile? Wave? Nod. just nod. You were about to do that when the same woman from the side station walked up to him, covering your view of him.

“Hi, good evening!” you heard her honey-like voice greet him. “I’m Ashley.”

You noticed Taehyung stood up. They shake hands and you don’t really hear the rest of their conversation. You began texting your date,

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi. Where are you?

You’ve been alone for a while now.

Taehyung noticed. The glass of water on your table is almost empty. The waiter already come back to you a couple of times now. He can see you chewing on your lower lip as you check your phone every minute that passes by.

Did your date just stand you up?

His hands clutched as he thought of that idea. He knew you didn’t deserve that.

“I think this is good! Not too sweet, not too spiced. It’s soft too. Just perfect.” Ashley snapped him from his thoughts.

Taehyung tried to concentrate on what he originally meant to do here, “Yeah… uhm… Jimin, my friend, really tries to balance the texture and taste. It’s his own carrot cake recipe that he worked on before we even had the shop.”

Ashley already had a taste of every cake he brought. Five open Tupperware are on their table, including the cheesecake you love. She began talking about the other cakes and dessert while Taehyung stole some glances at you again. This time, you are on call. You pursed your lips before replying to whoever it was. He can read the disappointment through your eyes as your lips form into a small frown. You sighed before saying, it’s fine, I understand. No problem. 

“Okay, these are really good. I think your products will be a great addition to our menu.” Ashley spoke again. 

Taehyung looked at her with surprise, “Oh, wow. That’s… great.”

Did he just get this deal?

“Yeah, I trusted my chef when he said he had the best Tiramisu in your shop and I’m glad I did. These desserts are perfect and really satisfy my sweet tooth.” She compliments.

Taehyung bowed his head, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Your desserts deserve to be everywhere. Haven’t you guys thought of opening a branch here?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re still figuring things out. We just expanded our main shop in Seoul.” he chuckled.

“Well, I might go there when I visit Seoul.”

“Please do and let us know.” he smiled.

“I will. By the way, the contract is not ready now. But we are definitely having this deal! Can you and Jimin visit here again next week or maybe me and my head chef can visit your shop in Seoul?” Ashley offers.

“I still have to discuss that with my friend.”

“Oh, sure. Sure. Here, we are okay with any decision. Just let us know. You guys have our e-mail and numbers, right?” Taehyung nods. “Okay, I guess… that’s a done deal.”

Ashley stood up and offered her hand. Taehyung stood up too and shook her hand. 

“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled.

While Ashley replied, he stole another glance behind her. That’s when he sees you standing up and walking back to the host at the entrance of the restaurant. The host had an apologetic look on his face as you talked to him. He helped you with your coat. It seems like you’re leaving with your date being a no-show. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But I would have to go for now..” Taehyung carefully said.

Ashley smiled, “Oh, of course. Yes. You can go. But one more thing… can you leave these cakes?”

Taehyung chuckled with that, “Of course!”

“Thank you! See you in the contract signing!”

“See you.” 

Taehyung took his coat from his seat and left in a hurry. You were already gone, possibly out of the restaurant. He said thank you to the staff who opened the door for him and he immediately searched around. That’s when he sees you standing, looking down at your phone.

“This one’s just a few minutes away–”

He took a deep breath before saying, “YN?”

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RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

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