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snickerdoodlles · 1 month

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headcanons behind fic: Chay's allowance and KimChay zero baht dates mentioned in long & short

Kim chokes trying not to laugh. “Seriously Angel?” Chay looks at him, lips pulled into a pouty moue like what? “You only take me out on zero baht dates, but you’ll pay people to draw us as cats?” Chay sniffs primly. “I only use my allowance for education and fine art,” he says, haughty.

Korn giving Porsche and Chay a large allowance comes up in a lot of my fics I think, because I see him giving all of his sons and his wards a large allowance. And for once, it's not actually a part of his usual manipulation and control tactics.

(Well. It's not not about manipulation and control, because everything Korn does involves manipulation and control. Korn absolutely monitors their accounts and purchases, not to mention he's absolutely the sort of person to always have a mental ledger of favors given and owed for everyone, especially family.)

However, he doesn't need to control any of the boys' finances to have control over them and he's so present over all of them that giving them access to their own money (vs having them request it from him directly) doesn't give him any more advantage over them or could even run counter to it.

No, I see Korn giving all the boys a hefty allowance as a personal push back against the ghost of his father.

We don't know anything about grandpa Theerapanyakul beyond the fact that Gun invoked his name while yelling at Korn and the mere comparison of them rattled Korn more than the literal gun war happening in his own home. Of all the terrible fathers in this series, the grandpa takes the cake apparently!

Alongside Korn's deep-seated control issues, he also has this weird...thing where he really, really wants to be seen as a caretaker and good provider. He never outright denies his sons and is seemingly very supportive of them-- Khun was allowed to fall back and be taken care of, Kim was allowed to live separately to become a musician, he paid off judges in the name of Kinn's childhood dream, later he supports Kinn and Porsche's relationship-- and the whole fucked thing with Nampheung and the narrative he's constructed around him taking care of her. Even Korn's relationship with Gun is a little bit weird given how much he talks about competition. Like, he desperately wants to be seen as a good provider and caretaker, he just also can't stop being Korn and has that stupid-ass metaphor with the knife and the apple. It's a very crunchy contradiction.

Anyways, Korn's issues aside, I see Korn giving his sons and later wards personal allowances as a part of his personal image of himself as a good provider.

And Porsche and Chay hate it.

(Porsche reminds Chay they're very grateful. Chay mutters where was this help when Porsche took out an informal loan too young. Porsche hisses and whips his head around for any walls that are listening.)

Chay mostly just tries to ignore the supposed pile of money apparently just...sitting there, for him, and spend no differently than how he usually would (it doesn't feel real, digital money is never real to him). However, after so many years of Porsche sacrificing to save money for his needs and future, Chay can't bring himself to ignore the account completely when it comes to things like school or food. He never actually looks at his account, he mostly just squeezes his eyes shut whenever he uses his card for essentials and waits for the system to deny him, except it never does. That does not make Chay feel any better about the situation.

The only time Chay's close to breaking his "no treats" stance is shortly after he and Kim get together. Chay wants so badly to treat Kim to something really special, but. Money. He frets. He makes a pros and cons list. He paces. He has an entire argument with himself in the mirror. He angsts. He takes one look at Kim's happy face over a candlelight dinner and decides fuck it, that's a guy he's going to spoil to the moon and back, stupid blood money allowance be damned.

Except, as established, Chay's never looked at his actual account, so he goes to Cash the accountant to see what his options are for spoiling dates. Like, he's been paying his tuition and the card always goes through at the grocer or noodle house, and Korn does keep telling him his school allowance includes some extra spending money, but Chay wants to spoil Kim. A band they like will be on tour in Bangkok around Kim's birthday, Chay's gunning for special VIP tickets and some extra money for merch and dinner. Surely stupid rich mafia has plenty of money to spare for that.

Chay: would I, uh, be able to get a little extra money? tickets are 3000 but they're for a really special occasion and-

Cash, thinking about Kinn's 3000 dollar helicopter tickets: I don't care, let me just pull up your account details

Chay: thank you so much 🥺

Then Cash turns his screen around to ask Chay how much money he needs and. That is. A lot of money. So many digits. The decimal certainly in the wrong spot. Then Chay looks to the top of the corner and nearly screams because that's his name on the account, what the fuck?

Cash: Khun Korn said to have enough money to cover your tuition

Chay: [does not point out the initial balance was 3x his four year tuition]

Chay...leaves. He thinks. He doesn't know how he got from Cash's office to his room but his next stop is his bed to scream into his pillow until his throat hurts. Fucking rich people.

In protest, Chay takes Kim out the next evening on a zero baht date. They walk along whatever part of the river's nearest to their university to watch the sunset, have to jump a fence and duck two railings to even find a private sitting space away from any other river goers. The view's passable at best, at least free of most industry stuff thanks to the proximity to school but hardly the most inspiring. Chay spreads out his flannel for them to sit on, and feeds Kim dry packet ramen and stale shrimp chips he got free from a university event. He didn't even buy a drink, they survive off a mostly full bottle of grape soda Chay stole off a friend.

(It's a magical evening for Kim, obviously. Ferreting out little hidden spaces hand-in-hand with Chay, enjoying the nighttime air curled together, eating terrible cheap food that somehow tastes good? This is DOING things to him. He will be bringing a guitar and minimum two water bottles with him next time tho.)

#kinnporsche #kimchay #fic: gone fishing #fic headcanons #this almost counts as fic lmao #anyways kimchay zero baht dates my BELOVED let chay open kim's eyes to a whole new world his rich kid ass never knew existed #kim: u know its okay to spend papa's money right?#chay: don't be silly p'kim electronic money isn't real

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just-missunderst00d · 7 months

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I've had this blog for who knows how long and I never wrote a text post to pin lol so here we go...

Hi! My name's Jess, I'm from Argentina and here's a few things about me:

✨ AFAB, bisexual. She/her pronouns. Don't really mind when or if people use they/them.

✨ I'm in my 20s (easier than to update every year, though who says I'm getting older 👀).

✨ Italian and Spanish heritage. My grandpa (born in Sicily) says there's some Turkish on his mother's side, and maybe some Viking/Normandie sprinkle lots of quotes on the last one.

✨ In case you haven't noticed already, I have ADHD. Went undiagnosed for 25 years so yea, that was fun. I also struggle with depression and anxiety.

✨ Intersectional feminist. Pro choice. BLACK LIVES MATTER. TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS. GUN CONTROL. FREE HEALTHCARE. FREE EDUCATION.

✨ I wasn't raised a socialist, I found Spend Rich Money dot com at a formative age and that did the trick.

✨ I've been studying witchcraft and the occult for almost 10 years now and I'm a practicing (ish) pagan since mid 2022. Started working with Odin and Freyja. Tried avoiding Loki for a while but it was futile, the chaotic energy was too strong, and they were SO persistent. They even took my partner's appearance in a dream.

✨ I have 5 tattoos, for now. I used to have a piercing on my ring finger. It was awesome, until I almost yanked it out and then it wasn't. Now I have two small scars on my finger as a reminder of my youthful stupidity.

✨ EAT THE RICH.

✨ Elder emo, turned goth babe. I very much enjoy horror movies, loud metal music, playing videogames and taking photos of pretty much anything. Specially food. I love food. Love cooking and baking.

✨ Yes, I'm a kitchen witch. And I'm also a Taurus, how did you know? Taurus sun, Piscis moon and Capricorn rising.

✨ I can't whistle and I hate cheese.

✨ Did I already mention that I LOVE football? Actual football, not the abomination the U.S. citizens call "football". No, I refuse to call them the A-word. America is a whole continent. Argentinian who loves football!? shocking I know. My favorite football club is Club Altético River Plate, a.k.a, El Millonario (the Millionaire) ironic, I know. Us fans are either called Millonarios/Millos or Gallinas (🐔) . Proud to be called any. Still, EAT THE RICH.

✨ LOTR and D&D kinda nerd. I can recite 90% of LOTR Fellowship of The Ring extended version BY HEART. It's my comfort film, alongside with Scream. I read The Hobbit as a teen, long before the movies (which ignoring a few CGI malfunctions blew my mind, you can fight me).

✨ I can kinda sing a little.

This is getting too long so here's me, because I don't think I show my face here very often:

Old pic from last summer (jan-feb 2023).

Anyways, if you made it this far, you might as well follow me. I reblog lots of artsy stuff and some witch tips. All pics I post are mine and tagged #me or #mine. If otherwise, credits are always given. DON'T STEAL PEOPLE'S ART. And that includes AI generated images.

Lastly:

THIS IS A SAFE, INTERSECTIONAL, FEMINIST SPACE.

NO TERFS, NO RACISTS, NO FASCISTS, NO BIGOTS ALLOWED PAST THIS POINT.

May you have the day you deserve ✨

-J

#me #witchblr #baby witches #mine #pagan tumblr #norse pagan witch #about me #pined post #get to know me #get to know the blogger #elder emo #goth babe #feminist

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lydias--stiles · 3 years

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love, between the shadow and the soul

chenford | drabble | post-canon | title: sonnet xvii - pablo neruda

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Look, Tim Bradford did not get attracted to rookies, okay? In all the years he had been a TO, none had grabbed his attention. Not when he and Isabelle were dating, or married, or when she disappeared into the night with a trail of illicit affairs and a shot of heartache for him. Dozens of young women had sat in that car beside him and never ever had he let their femininity distract him. He served his country. He fought wars overseas. He looked Death right in the eye every single day and never blinked.

But then came officer Lucy Chen. He instantly knew the type of cop she’d be the second she turned in her seat, meeting his gaze for the first time, and nervously smiled at him. Nerves were normal, he was aware, but the doe-eyed look and the hopeful grin sold her out. No mystery. Just another young cop that would either slip through the cracks by the exam by tanking their grade due to stress, or she’d become a desk duty cop — one that stayed far from danger, that handled life with a perpetual softer touch ‘cause of her shrink parents.

Nothing wrong with that, Bishop would chastise him. Every cop had its use, she’d add. Sure, that might be true, but Tim didn’t want to babysit an armed toddler waiting for it to cry and call for mom. With just a couple well-placed Tim-tests, she’d be out of his hair in no time and then he could cross his fingers for a better recruit in the following weeks.

Life had the ability to change in a snap though — their funny, yet stern reminder that the universe called the shots, not the gun in his holster, or the rulebook. He got shot. Officer Chen backed him up. Her stubborn, yet brazen, yet honest attitude reeled him in just enough to ignore her little quirks she always joyfully displayed in the shop. Whenever he didn’t nip her ramblings in the bud fast enough, she babbled on and on about her personal life, her personal issues and relationships, like they were best friends (They weren’t! Boots and him never befriended!), like their relationship was anything more than a transactional training period. They got each other’s six. That was it.

But fuck, man. She got under his skin, too.

Lucy wore this… really nice perfume. A lot of female officers had make-up and perfume on, allowed a small sliver of self-expression, and he and Lopez had spend countless hours in a shop together. He was used to it. But somehow, Lucy’s stuck in his nose and didn’t leave. He felt like a creep, thinking about the blend of cardamom and oranges and cherry blossoms mixing with her warm skin, uncontrollable while also wanted. He wanted to fantasise about that fucking perfume of hers, a realisation that took a long time to come to terms with.

That didn’t mean he liked her though — he quickly corrected himself the first time he caught the pattern of behaviour — all it meant was that Lucy had good taste in perfume. Case closed.

So why did he linger whenever her shimmery eyes flicked up at him, why did his breath catch in his throat when her voice dropped to that infuriating sincerity as she uttered words of appraisal? Why his heart go haywire when she recorded all those audio books for him; an out of line gesture and overzealous task for a boot, which would normally result in him laughing their face.

Tim never thought he’d get over Isabelle, nor did he ever believe he’d have his happily ever after with Rachel, but with Lucy he foolishly hoped for more. A more that came from such a stupid and deluded place, probably fostered through months of loneliness and the Pavlovian response to her perfume, but one he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop it. The man was always in control about everything, ran his own tests and went over every possible outcome every day, every hour — and yet he didn’t see her coming. Lucy Chen had been right under his nose and he hadn’t been prepared for the ground to disappear beneath his feet; something that should honestly get him fired. The callousness of his emotions while entertaining the idea of a relationship with his own boot sentenced him straight to P2 or desk duty, or whatever.

Lucy deserved someone better, anyway.

Someone that understood her love for sage and cleansing homes. Someone that liked veggie burgers, chai lattes, karaoke nights and social media lurking. Someone that wouldn’t hesitate for one second to open her door for a teenage girl in need of safety and a little bit of that Chen-love. Someone that wasn’t any of those firemen assholes, but wasn’t Tim either.

He never let his insecurities get the best of him, but after seeing her thrive as a P2 without him, handling undercover stints like a pro, conquering her trauma of being buried alive, it only showcased that she had more bravery in her index finger than some army members had in their entire body, all while staying innately kind. Of course Tim lost his mind over her. Of course he tried shaping officer Barnes to be more like Lucy — more sun and bite and charisma, less army BS. Of course, of course, of course. Even Rosalind, the person he hated most besides Caleb, had him figured out in seconds. He was obvious as hell.

Which was why he had to move stations. Away from the Mid-Wilshire Division and to another. He couldn’t be around her anymore and risk compromising missions or attacks. He didn’t tell Angela the details, though her knowing look said enough, and simply replied that she’d miss him and that she was sure the chief would happily reinstate him any time.

He should’ve known that information leaked through like a wildfire.

The morning of his resignment, uniform neatly folded in his locker, Lucy stopped him in the hallway with the most befuddled expression he’d ever seen.

“What?” he said.

“What the hell,” she exclaimed. “You’re leaving and I have to hear it from Angela? Why’re you…? You love this division. Is everything okay?”

Shouldering past her, he drawled over his shoulder: “Everything’s fine, officer Chen. I’d advise you to put on your uniform and get to roll call.”

“Don’t pull this crap with me,” she bit back, latching onto his arm before he was out of reach. His feet reflexively stopped in place, stupidly waiting on her to finish her train of thought. “Tim, you can tell me if something’s wrong. We’ve been through… way too much for you to act this cold with me.”

He scoffed, feigning mockery, and put his hands on his hips. “We? Chen, I was your TO. That’s it. Get it out of your head it was more.”

Lucy blinked, once, twice, a hurt expression crossing her features, followed by disbelief and a quiet contempt he had become awfully familiar with. Swallowing back the regret, he watched as she pursed her lips and took a step back. “Wow. Okay.”

“Don’t take it personally.”

“Hard not to, officer Bradford,” she muttered. Turning to the locker rooms, she added, “Talk to me when you’re ready to not be an asshole.”

That should’ve been his cue to let her go and resume his trek to sergeant Grey, but a whiff of her fragrance wafted in his face from her dancing curls and any sensical thought was knocked out his head. He wanted to embrace her and burrow his face in her hair, he wanted to hold her with intent, he wanted to kiss the scent off her skin. His feet followed her instead, both fully aware and totally impulsive at once. He chose the excuse of loving a good argument with her to then utter: “I’m not an asshole, Chen. I’m honest.”

“If you’re honest, you’d admit that we’ve been very close friends these past months,” she exhaled, refusing to look him in the eye. He supposed he deserved that. Stopping in front of her locker, she continued with, “Distorting your own reality to fit your macho narrative isn’t healthy. Also, this is the women’s locker room. Out. Now.”

Tim sputtered out a laugh and crossed his arms. “Macho narrative? Please.”

Lucy’s eyes narrowed, all air sucked out the room at the intensity of her stare, and Tim felt himself flailing, suddenly wondering why the hell he wanted to turn in his badge when the only place he could have moments with lucy was, well, here. Why was he giving up on this, how silly it might be?

With a resolute voice, she said, “Tim, why are you resigning?”

Nothing in his entire career prepared him for this. Tim Bradford had survived Iraq and Afghanistan, twelve years of the LAPD and counting, a deadly virus, hundreds of bullets taken by the vest and felt the power of death on the blue lips of Lucy in the quiet countryside. Fear got pushed aside. Pride pulled him forward, onwards. But right now, he had to take a leap of faith — the sole thing he never relied on, but Lucy did — and trust she’d be there after the fall.

(He wanted to be that amazing someone for her.)

“Because of you,” he whispered. His fight or flight told him to run for the first time in forever, but he kept his feet glued to the floor.

Her jaw fell slack in shock. “E-excuse me? Me?! I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“Exactly,” he spit. “You… you’re…” Tim sighed. “You’re the best, Lucy.”

Faltering, her brows furrowed in utter confusion, a grain of her fury replaced with compassion. He wasn’t sure if that was warranted. All he was trying to do was get it off his chest, confess, before it escalated to insurmountable heights. “I don’t think I understand.”

“Uh…”

“You’re resigning, because I’m the best?” she tried to deduce. “No offense, any other day I’d be dancing right now, but this is just…” She gestured at him. “So weird.”

Tim let out a miserable sigh and ripped the band-aid off. Fuck it. “I’m trying to be honest about my feelings, Lucy.”

She froze. “What?”

“I like you. A lot.” Her wonderstruck expression didn’t make him feel better, so he quickly added: “Which is why I gotta decrease the risk of this exploding in our faces and go.”

“Whoa!” Lucy’s hand wrapped around his, eyes wide and searching, like any empirical data would be found within his green irises, otherwise known as fondness and unresolved tension with every quiet moment they had. “Is this… another test? Are you getting back at me for pranking you?”

He quirked a brow. “You’re a P2 now. Tests are over.”

“Right,” she quipped, catching herself. She let go of him and nervously tucked a lock behind her ear. “Yeah. Okay. And you’re serious?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. O-kay. Let me, uh…” the locker swung open “… wrap my head around this.”

“It’s a pretty easy thing to—”

“Tim.”

“Yeah, okay.” He backed off, hating how the control was out of his hands now, how he practically shoved his heart in her grip and her pretty fingers could crush it to dust if she wanted to. “I’ll let you do that.”

Walking out the locker room, he took a deep breath and straightened up his face. Alright. He royally screwed that over. If his army buddies knew, they’d all laugh in his face and tease him for the rest of his life. But at least he told her and got his answer, that a relationship was off the table but that they could save their friendship once he switched divisions and some distance mended his twisted, inside-out heart. Lucy had rocked his world and all she had to do was exist.

“Tim!”

“Wha— wow!”

Her body crashed into him the second he turned around to her beautiful voice, Lucy’s arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down to her level ‘til all he experienced were her sweet eyes and breathless smile and a kiss. Lucy kissing him, slow and tentative, but it lit his heart aflame and urged him to hold onto her. Her perfume was all-encompassing, nose full of the fragrance and the soft slope of her neck and long, brown hair and fuck, he was kissing Lucy Chen. Except he didn’t care if the entire precinct idly watched by, or if she yanked him out the building on impulse, or anything — ‘cause he was kissing her and it was perfect. Her plump lips were better than he ever imagined.

Her hands slid from his hair to his shoulders, arms and then his hands, squeezing. His forehead pressed against hers, embarrassingly weak in the knees from that incredible kiss that he didn’t dare to stand up straight. Two silly grins broke loose on their faces. He had no clue what to do now, or not do, but he did know he wanted her. He wanted everything.

Lucy decided for him.

“Don’t go,” she whispered.

Tim smiled. “Okay.”

#testing the waters... figuring out their voices...#chenford #the rookie fanfiction #the rookie x pablo neruda overlap is the funniest thing about this whole thing #the rookie

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gothamslittlejester · 4 years

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Obsessive Ledger!joker x reader

I’ve been spoiling you all recently with all this Ledger!Joker, so you’re welcome 😎 (but also so sorry because I did go on a hiatus without saying anything for half a year 😬). Let me know in the asks if you want something in particular, I love writing for J so much! I have a few already that I am working on as we speak, so stay tuned for those 💜

Below are headcannons for a more yandere and darker joker than I usually write 👻 nothing abusive here because J is still very much my comfort character, but it definitely includes over-possessive, protective and stalker themes, as well as encouraging reader to join in on his murderous chaos

Warnings: morally ambiguous reader, joining joker on his “fun” i.e. mentions of torturing others, blood, weapons, severed body parts as gifts, implied seggsy time

· Before adoration, fondness or love, the first feelings Joker had for you was pure obsession. Obsession with what you thought and felt, what you liked to do and why you liked to do them. Obsession with your safety and the need to protect you, which led to jealousy and possessiveness very often. It was primal, and longing, and left him thirsting after your presence like a greedy, hungry wolf. He wanted you- needed you- and he was going to get you

·In spite of a period of flirting, suggestive jokes and hinting touches, Joker made it clear pretty quickly what his feelings were for you. Because of his lifestyle death is like a waiting shadow, and wasting time on what he wants is just not his style

· Quite soon into the beginning of your more romantic relationship, you move into his hideout for the sake of your safety, which calmed J down with some of his possessiveness and paranoid thoughts. He knew his home was the safest place in Gotham, excluding Bruce Wayne’s cave, and with you in it that meant you were safe too.

·When he’s gone, he’ll leave a huge shotgun behind for you to use in case of emergency, as well as Chechen’s Rottweilers. You’ll find some stray knives and pointy objects hidden in your coats too, “just in case”, but its more heartwarming to you than annoying

· He loves to lay on you at night, whether it be right on your chest to hear your heartbeat, or on your belly where he can feel your soft skin pressed against his scared cheeks. Not only is it pleasant and lets his touched-starved soul get some attention, but it also makes him hyper aware of every shift or move your body does while asleep. It also prevents you from sneaking out of the bed to run away, which is one of his more paranoid thoughts. Don’t try to move away or push him off, he will smack your hand back and snuggle in deeper, wrapping his arms around you like a snake

· He doesn’t care what insecurities you have regarding your appearance; he admires every single piece of you and will cuddle with whatever he wants, so push your anxieties aside because Joker hungers for all of you

· His gifts can sometimes be very macabre. Generally, he loves to spoil you with an array of things, such as new clothes or lingerie, plush toys of your favorite animals, snacks you said you’ve wanted to try, or even just random knick-knacks he stole from his victim’s homes. However, if he’s feeling adventurous or extra flirty that day, he will bring you certain body parts to symbolize his feelings for you.

· You’ve definitely found your fair share of human hearts in your fridge, because he adores how your heart races when your scared. You’ve found a pair of lungs stuffed in there too, because the little gasps you make when frightened or anticipating his touch are delicious to him. You went to get milk once and right behind the carton was a tongue, symbolizing how much he relishes your little talks and midnight conversations

· Once, he brought over a whole corpse, the body decomposing and gnarled, skin ripped to shreds and a face pummeled so brutally it had concaved. “Don’t need to worry about them any more doll,” he giggled, spitting on the body with a fervor that thrilled you. It took a few minutes of intense staring- why did they look familiar?- but then it clicked in your mind; it was the very person you had fumed and vented to Joker about last night, right before he had spontaneously left

· “J,” you began, eyes nearly popping out of your head. “Did you kill him... for me?”

· “ ‘Course I did, sweetheart.” He rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You know I’d, uh, kill anyone for you. Nasty fucks like them especially-ah.”

· If you have to leave for longer periods of time, whether that be for school or work, Joker will always have a few of his men stalking you from a distance, making sure you’re safe and that no one dangerous is within a 1 mile radius of you. They also have explicit instructions to take photos and send them to J, because he likes looking at your oblivious little face.

· He’d do it himself if he has the time, which he sometimes does, but he too is quite busy with his own things (when anarchy calls, as they say), so hiring lookouts is the next best thing. If he could, he’d have you right by his side at all times… how pretty you’d look in a soft purple leash... but that’s just daydream fuel for now

· Speaking of photos, Joker knows his ways around a camera. He makes... lovely home videos that he sends to news channels in his free time (rip fake batman) and he continues to practice at his craft from time to time. He even won a deepweb award for best snuff film of the year, which boosted his ego to ungodly heights. He’s absolutely delighted about it and hints that you should watch it on one of your movie nights, but he does warn it’s not for the faint of heart

· Taking videos and photos are one of his favorite hobbies, and if you’re down to clown… he’d certainly bring it in the bedroom

· Speaking of his more thrilling hobbies, Joker will constantly suggest you join him on his escapades or help out behind the scenes, especially if he picks up on any sort of interest from you concerning his ‘job’. Joker is an observant man, and he reads you like a book. He knows you likely have some dark, sinister thoughts running around in your head - you must, if you’re with him- so he does everything he can to encourage you to let them out. Joker will never judge this side of you, no matter how grim. He’ll try and harness it, bring it to light. He hates the thought of you shying away from your true self, embarrassed of your darker nature, but what he hates even more is you thinking he’ll be disgusted with you or disappointed. How can you think that?

· “No no no, bunny, not me. You’re my muse, so give me some inspiration hmm? Tell daddy exactly what’s going on in that mind of yours...”

· If you do show interest in the darker side of his job, he’d smile so big that his scars take up his whole face. He’d teach you everything; how to fire a gun, how to stab someone, how to hide a body and how to torture one. He’ll spread out all his weapons on the floor and let you choose which one calls to you, like a deranged ceremony, informing you on the pros and cons of each one. He’ll even invite you into the warehouses he designated just for torture, which are just as gruesome and sinful and they sound

· J let’s you watch as he hurts his victims, whom are purposefully rapists and killers to make you feel less guilty, and let’s you join in on the fun whenever you gain the courage. He even went as far as to buy a whole torture set off the black market, from scalpel to needles, just to give you options. Joker loves to see how creative you can get, and it’s one of the few times he lets you take complete control

· “The floor is yours, bunny. Impress me.”

· He is down for pretty much anything, and that mindset is not exclusive just to the bedroom

·Any couple activity you fear might be too far or creepy for other people… is right around J’s alley. Weird kinks or foreplay games you want to try? No problem. Making love in abandoned houses or cemeteries? Now that’s his type of romance. You want to carry a small vial of his blood around your neck? He is all game, but only if he gets one of you as well. Matching knives? He’s blushing. Satanic blood ritual from a sketchy website that’s supposed to bond your souls for eternity? Perfect, his weekend plans were centered around you anyways

· Now…If he feels that you’re not giving him enough attention or start to push him away, he will resort to crazier means to obtain your love back. He’ll set off random bugs, rats or even henchmen into your home to scare you, gleefully waiting to hear you cry out his name in fear. Like a small, dependent little kitten, mewling for their protector. He’d come in, guns ablaze, looking for whatever scared his darling angel, killing them on sight. You’d run into his arms, tears streaming down your face as you cling to Joker like your life depended on it- just how he liked it. He’d coo mockingly and pull you closer, rubbing your back as he unashamedly basked in your physical touch.

· In general however, your soft caresses, kisses and reassuring words are enough to keep him very pleased. He knows you adore him and are head over heels obsessed just like he is, and that truly does put a smile on his face.

#joker x reader #ledger joker x reader #ledger!joker x reader #joker headcannon #dark knight joker #x reader #dark headcannons #yandere

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alirhi · 3 years

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This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."

#sebastian stan #anthony mackie #tfatws #tfatws critical #fan ramblings #show rewrite #if i'd written it #episode 2

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star-killer-md · 3 years

Text

Actus Reus, Mens Rea

@contesa-lui-alucard asked:

Hey hey happy sleepover my friend!! If it’s alright with you, I have two prompts from the Smut list that I’d love to see you combine for... mob Kylo and lawyer reader! Oh snap!! 15 & 37, if you please. If not, no worries, I still hope you have an awesome sleepover 😁 (“Make it hurt, baby.” + “Lay back and touch yourself. I want to watch.”)

Anon asked:

hello, may i request clingy/possessive kylo,, thank you

Thank you lovlies for your requests and sorry from the bottom of my depressed ass heart that it took me so fucking long. Anyway here ya go, hope you enjoy some mobster Kylo deliciousness. I’m so excited you liked him Contesa, and I hope you’re into it as well too nonny! Sorry it got long, I truly have no control over that.

And thank you so much to @sacklersdoll for reading over this for me!

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Angst (its me), Smut (its me), mentions of predator/prey dynamic (mostly as metaphor), possessive Kylo Ren, semi-public sex, no pronouns for the reader by they are afab, dominant Kylo Ren, some brat vibes, Kylo Ren is not nice, allusions to guns, some sorta stalking behavior

Ship: Mob Boss!Kylo Ren x Lawyer!Reader

Summary: You’ve started to take on some pro bono clients as a favor to a friend and Kylo Ren is Not A Fan™ of all the attention this guy has been paying you. After a few months of consulting on the side, you’re beginning to wonder if life working for a mob boss is something you’re really cut out for. Though you quickly learn that you very well may have passed the point of no return when Kylo shows up at your office to remind you just who exactly you work for.

“I really can’t thank you enough.”

You shook the woman’s hands and returned her smile. Her son stayed quiet, looking at the ground, but mumbled his thanks as well. He was a good kid. Just pissed off the wrong neighbor. One of those ‘get off my lawn,’ ‘good ole American dream’ types who thought welfare was a sign of the devil, and had it out for everyone in the lower tax brackets.

“Really, it’s no problem,” you walked them to the door, leaving her your business card. “I’ll see you both at the courthouse on Monday.”

Evan was waiting in your office when you returned. His patent leather shoes rested precariously on the corner of your desk and you knocked them off with a huff.

“See you’ve made yourself at home,” you said, crossing your arms and staring down at him in your chair.

He shrugged and stood under your scrutiny, moving around to take the seat across from you. Evan Goodman was an old friend from undergrad. You often got the impression he was still that same cocky frat boy in the head. Still flashed the ‘my daddy has more money than you’ smile on occasion when he really wanted to get under your skin. With his slicked back hair, unnervingly straight teeth, and his annoying prosperity despite never putting in much effort it was somewhat shocking the two still spoke. He was simply not the type of person who had ever needed to try. Success came naturally to him, and much to your dismay.

“What can I say? You’re a very gracious host,” he mused and leaned forward on the desk. “So, how did it go?”

You sighed, “They’ll be alright, might get saddled with a fine but the charges aren’t that serious.”

“Good, Rosa’s an old friend. I would have helped her out myself, but not really my deal ya know?”

“Yeah, Mr. Tax Attorney, I get it.”

Evan was kind of a dick, but he was also the kind of friend who would sit on the bathroom floor with you, hold your hair back and sing horrendous parody versions of ABBA no matter who heard. So you couldn’t hate him entirely. That also meant that when he came to you with cases like this, a favor for a friend or whatever the situation may be, you had a hard time refusing.

It was also a convenient front for you not-so-legal legal work you’d been invested in for the past few months.

“Seriously, I know I’ve been asking a lot of you recently,” he flashed you that god awful grin and kicked his feet up again. “You can tell me to fuck off if it’s too much.”

He had been coming to you for pro bono work with increasing frequency, especially over the past month or so, but again, you didn’t wholly mind it. You went into this kind of work for a reason. Though, you were starting to get the feeling that a certain, brooding, less than lawfully abiding businessman did not feel the same.

Kylo Ren dealt frequently with the shady, black market underbelly of capitalist society, but you were less accustomed to his world and not completely ready to throw yourself to the hounds just yet.

You had already missed more than a few meetings and canceled on dinner tonight to meet with Rosa. To be fair, it wasn’t as if he’d made any indication this ill-defined whatever-it-was going on between the two of you was anything serious. And you were only his consultant, for now, so this took precedent anyway. At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself of. Definitely not a way to avoid thinking about fucking your boss who also happened to be in with the mob.

Definitely not.

“I wouldn’t have agreed to help if I couldn’t manage it,” you yawned softly and stood to collect your things.

It was late and you were beginning to fantasize about how soft and warm your sheets would be. If you got back in time you could pop them in the dryer and get in an episode or two before bed.

“Hey, let me at least buy you dinner or something since I kept you out so late,” Evan parked his skinny frame in your path to the doorway.

“You’re going to apologize for keeping me out late, by keeping me out even later?”

“Do you want free food or not?”

Pursing your lips, you stared at him for a few moments. He really did know all your weaknesses. You had skipped out on meeting with Mr. Ren—or Kylo or sir or whatever the hell you were supposed to call him now—already tonight, however, Evan was sure to take you somewhere nice and it wouldn’t be so morally repugnant if it was just as a ‘thank you….’

“Okay, fine,” you conceded and let him lead you out to the parking garage, locking the office up behind you.

***

The next morning you stumbled past reception in a haze. Both from lack of sleep, and the bitingly cold winds battering your building despite the neighboring high rises blocking the brunt of the gale. The young woman at the desk informed you tersely that a Mr. Goodman was already waiting for you in your office and that you should really get here on time if you were expecting clients this early.

You agreed that, yes you probably should but, you know, “trains and all that mess,” and tried not to judge her too harshly. After all, she was the barrier between you and the hundreds of calls this place received daily.

Before slipping through the door with your name plate, you hung your coat on the rack and switched your phone on. It’d died on you last night amidst the allure of fancy, late night dinner and your sleep deprivation riddled brain had not cared enough to plug it in before bed. Fuck Amazon, but thank god for its speedy delivery of portable charges.

You chewed your lip as the lock screen came to life. One missed call and a text. Both, of course from the most anxiety inducing sender, Kylo Ren. Because why would it be anyone else? His name menacing even typed out in standard black font.

The text read:

Meet me at 8am.

It was very much like him—a command with punctuation and absolutely no details. The message receipt showed it was sent two hours ago, and it was already half past eight. Shit. Your fingers shook as you pulled up his contact and called. Every interaction left you coursing with adrenaline. Even now, miles away listening to the dial tone was nerve-wracking. Your heart pounded, hands slick in their grip on your phone. Maybe it was because you were never sure where you stood with him. Maybe it was because he was handsome and he knew it. Strong and he knew it. Intimidating and mysterious and closer in some ways to a Greek god than a man. He was all encompassing, and filled every available space in any room he occupied.

Sometimes you thought you might choke on his presence.

It rang once, twice, three times before cutting out completely. You stared down at the blank screen, biting your lip and shooting off a quick text. You were sorry, something important had come up, you would meet him the second it was convenient.

Evan slapped you heartily on the back when you came into the room. He was holding a bouquet of flowers, evergreen with small white blossoms.

“So, how many hours did you manage last night?” he asked, smiling his shit eating smile and seemingly unaffected despite the fact that he had to be running on just as little sleep as you.

“I’m not even sure at this point,” you groaned as you tossed your bags down behind the little metal desk. “Time ceases to exist when you take trains past midnight.”

“Fair enough. Hey look,” Evan waved the greenery in your face, “courtesy of Rosa’s shop. She insisted I bring you something as thanks. I figured you could put them out in the front or something to brighten things up.”

“They’re lovely. Please tell me you’re only here as a glorified delivery boy.”

His shoulders slumped at your lack of amusement, but before he could quip back the landline in your office rang. You answered, holding a finger towards Evan and leaning against the edge of the desk. It was the receptionist, Jess was her name? Maybe? You could never remember, someone else always addressed the holiday gift cards anyway.

“There’s someone here to see you at the front desk,” she clipped, almost more exasperated than before.

You told her you’d be right there and hung up. Evan grabbed his coat as you headed out, holding the door for you and following into the hall.

“I’ll leave you to it if you’re busy, but give me a call after Monday and tell me how it goes,” he continued rambling as you came out into the front.

You had a smart comeback prepared, something about how simple the case was, he should have more faith in you, he was the reason you were busy in the first place, etc…but every word turned to ashes on your tongue when you saw him.

Kylo Ren, standing right there at the desk and glaring at your receptionist. His suit was dark blue and ironed to perfection. Each leg was creased perfectly down the front and the jacket sat flawlessly on his wide set shoulders. He was a wall of unimaginably expensive fabric and what looked concerning like barely contained rage. You could see it in the twitch of his eye, the set of his jaw, and in the way his gaze landed on you the second you walked in.

The way a predator immediately hones in on its prey.

You froze just feet from him in the lobby, floundering like a fish on a hook.

Evan, for his part, seemed not to notice the tension at all and continued to say his long winded goodbyes, placing the flowers in your hands and completely unaware of the slow, measured tightening of Kylo’s massive hands into fists at his side.

“I’m free on Monday evening so we should—”

“She’ll be busy.”

Evan frowned, turning to face the man standing before him, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Kylo’s voice was a dark thing, low and rumbling, “She will be otherwise occupied.”

His words were punctuated by a step towards you, one paw of a hand easily gripping your entire jaw. Lucky he did too, otherwise it would have dropped straight to the floor when he shot one last cobra strike glare in Evan’s direction, and pressed his mouth to yours. Right there. In the lobby. For everyone to see.

The absolute bastard.

His lips were pillow plump and softer than the silk lining of his suit—and even through the surge of shock and embarrassment and more than a touch of anger—you felt your heart throb at the way he licked into your mouth.

The flowers tumbled from your hands onto the floor as everything in you went limp under his touch. This was nowhere near the first time you’d tasted him, but it was like this every time. Like drinking ambrosia. An otherworldly experience.

But that didn’t stop the sharp pain of his crushing grip on your arm, the way he nearly lifted your feet off the floor when he pulled away to drag along behind him. You could hear Evan spluttering in the hall behind you, the receptionist going back to clacking at her keyboard as if nothing had happened.

When Kylo opened your office door he just about threw you inside. You tripped as he tipped you in, stumbling and catching yourself on the edge of your desk. The power behind his hand alone was undeniable. You shuddered at the thought of the array of purple fingerprints he would leave behind. It made your mouth dry and your heart sink. Confusing and delicious.

And left you seething nonetheless.

“What the fuck was that?!” you were not calm, so you didn’t attempt any semblance of it.

“You didn’t answer me,” he said, level as he always was.

The quiet before the storm and all that.

“About the meeting? I tried to call, my phone died—”

“Because you were out catching trains at all hours of the night, I’m aware.”

You paused, glaring at the wall of muscle between you and the door, “How did you know that?”

“So you’re not denying it?”

Kylo stalked towards you like a beast in his tailored suit and polished leather shoes like talons. You could hear your heartbeat, hear the blood rushing in your ears. Just like a rabbit in the sightline of a hawk, you were clearly being hunted.

“Why would I deny something I’m not trying to hide?” your voice came out horse as he caged you between the desk and his chest, arms on either side to block any route of escape.

“No you are certainly not adept at subtlety,” he said and you couldn’t take your eyes off the way his tongue moved behind his teeth. “This is the fifth time that idiot in the hall has distracted you from work.”

“That’s not an answer,” you tried to spit the words but his eyes were boring into you. The honey of them spilled down your spine and made you shiver. “How did you know? You are not entitled to any information pertaining to my personal life, regardless.”

“Watch your mouth,” he growled. “Entitlement has no part in this.”

You were entering dangerous territory, though stopping curiously did not occur to you.

“I don’t think you have the right to be throwing out commands right now, not after that display.”

“Have you forgotten who you work for?” Kylo hissed at you, hands wrapped around the metal of your desk so hard you thought it might warp under his fingers.

“Of course not,” you desperately tried to keep your voice down lest anyone get even more a spectacle.

“Then what is this?” one hand left the desk and pulled a phone from inside his jacket.

The screen lit up, and you looked in horror at pictures of yourself. Pictures of yourself from last night. Pictures of yourself from last night at dinner with Evan, interspersed with shots of you crossing the street, waiting on the train platform, and stumbling back into your apartment. Each was clearer than you’d expected, presumably from some insanely expensive surveillance equipment. You had been out for hours, and you had been watched the whole time.

You narrowed your eyes, flicking back and forth between Kylo’s face—the graceful bridge of his nose pointed down at you—and gaped.

“You had me followed…” you breathed the words into the slowly shrinking space between your bodies.

He simply nodded, as if, somehow, you were foolish for not having considered this before. Perhaps you were. Perhaps you had no idea what you had gotten yourself into. Perhaps you had signed on for much more than a paycheck when you agreed to work for Kylo Ren.

“I can’t have my employees getting distracted.”

Kylo slowly drifted ever closer, shoulders bent so he was eye level with you. He pressed further into the desk, pinning you between his body and the hard surface that bit into your ass. Something long and thick and hard nudged your thigh.

“I don’t know why you though having me followed was necessary—”

“You’re an arrogant little slut who needs to be reminded of your priorities,” his hand snatched your leg and wrenched it open so he could stand between them, “ I am not something you do on the side.”

You could hear the way his teeth grit out the words, the way they formed as a growl deep in his beast’s throat. The hand still settled on the desk, skimmed up your hip and chest, his fingers

biting into your jaw.

“Do you understand me?”

Your lips were shut tight in a thin line, eyes wide and staring up like the prey you were. The silence only provoked him more. Snarling, two thick fingers wrenched your mouth open, pressing hard on your tongue and making you gag around them.

“Answer.”

Kylo Ren almost always spoke in commands. Having power did that to people, and rarely did it ever compel you, but his words sunk deep into your bones. Dredged up some dark, instinctual need to obey. To submit to this show of control.

“Yes,” you mumbled around his fingers in your mouth, drool slipping past your lips when they moved.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

You watched him suck his teeth, grabbing your face tighter and dragging you close so he could spit directly into your open mouth. He slammed your jaw shut, nearly taking off the tip of your tongue and hissed into your ear.

“Swallow.”

Again, you did without a thought. And it was disgusting, but invigorating, sent off some spark in your stomach with how easily he bent your body to his will. There was no man like him, you decided. And maybe this was simply because Kylo Ren was not a man. That term alone would never do him justice.

In one shockingly smooth motion, you found yourself flat on your back, ass hanging off the edge of the desk with his hands on your hips. He ground himself against you, the throbbing of his cock evident even through the layers of clothing. That feeling on its own had you soaked through, thighs sticking with liquid excitement.

“Remember who you work for,” he growled into your neck, licking a long stripe up your throat and sucking at the exposed skin.

But it was very clear to you what he really meant.

Remember who you belong to.

You slapped a hand over your mouth as he bit down on the skin just above your shoulder, laving his tongue over the stinging flesh. Kylo pulled back, frowning down at you and yanking the hand away from your face. One held both your wrists in a vice lock while the other ripped your panties straight down your legs and left the dripping fabric discarded on the carpet.

“No, they’re going to hear you,” he grunted, and pulled one of your hands down, pressing it to your slit and running your fingers through your slick. “Go on, touch your fucking pussy and let them know what a little whore you are for me.”

It was something about his voice. Something in the way it left him, its timbre, its wonder, unquestioning. You could never refuse him.

So, with a small nod you parted your folds, head resting on a stack of files as you drew slow circles around your clit with a shaky hand. His eyes never left your cunt, tracing the movement of your finger and the trail of wetness that seeped from you to the desktop. Softly, you gasped as the familiar placement of your fingers made you clench and arch up. Kylo’s rubbed small circles into your inner thighs with his thumbs, kneading the flesh there.

When the spark was there, the lovely pulsing in your nerves alight, you dipped down, teasing and slipping inside, grinding down as best you could on your hand. It wasn’t enough, but nothing ever was since you’d been ripped open on Kylo’s cock.

Evidently he did not find your work sufficient either.

Another finger joined yours, stroking your lips and circling your entrance. His touch made you whine, the promise of hands that were not your own never ceasing to illicit a new gush of pleasure.

“I said,” he murmured, his touch so terribly feather light. “Let them hear you.”

He was like a gunshot, sudden and forceful and almost instantly had you screaming. Kylo slammed his fingers into you, so full and so deep, curling hard against that lovely spot inside.

“Kylo, god, please—” you moaned long and low, your face burning with the knowledge that the walls were barely thick enough to keep your phone calls private, much less the shameful noises he pulled from you.

“What was that?” he panted, adding another finger and pumping them deep into your cunt. “You can do better.”

Your teeth dug so hard into your lip you thought it might bleed, but you couldn’t take much more. The ledge was approaching—Kylo Ren knew it—and he was determined to push you straight into the fire.

You choked when his deliciously thick fingers were ripped from you, walls fluttering around the awful emptiness. Your head lolled back as you listened to him work the buckle of his belt and slacks open, and when you did glance down your mouth watered at the sight. Kylo—impossibly long cock throbbing in his hand—stood between your legs, stroking himself from root to tip. You watched little pearls of precum bead at the head while his thumb swiped across to smear them along his length.

“You are insane,” you hissed through gritted teeth.

Did you need to keep this position? No, technically you would be more than well off on the salary Mr. Ren so graciously provided. However, you could not mentally deal with being terminated for getting dicked in your office during work hours.

Kylo smirked, the edge of his perfect cupid’s bow cocked back and aimed straight at your chest. Without warning, he sunk into you, straight to the hilt and threw his head back as you sobbed with the sharp sting of being split in two on his cock.

“This is what you do,” he growled into your ear, hands on either side of your head as he worked his length back out only to pound into you again. “You work for me and you take my cock and don’t ever fucking forget that.”

Your legs were wound so tightly around his waist that had he been any other man, his ribs would have cracked under the pressure. His hair, falling in black, satin waves, was gorgeous even in the sterile office lighting. You threaded your fingers into it at the roots and held him while your body rocked against the desk. It’s metal surface pinched at your sink and made your back ache, though that was nothing compared to the burn of Kylo’s thrusts, sliding against your walls. You felt him in your throat. You always did. That was simply the way things were with him. He filled you painfully, thoroughly, took over all of your senses until it was just him.

And, strangely, it was the most alive you’d ever felt.

He was unlike anyone you’d ever known.

You couldn’t scream for him, but you could still let him taste the desperation, the willingness in your body to mold against him. So you kissed him, dragged him by the hair to meet your lips and licked past his teeth, gasping and moaning on his tongue as you sucked it hard and cried into his mouth.

And he drank you down, picking up a punishing rhythm and breaking blood vessels where his hands gripped your hips. One drifted lower, thumb pressing down hard on your clit as your cunt clenched around his length. The desk was lifting off the ground with every thrust, the room filled with the wet sounds of your bodies and you were quickly melting under him.

Warmth was spreading, growing, building out from your pussy, igniting in your veins. He was right. This is what you did. This is what he did to you. This toe curling, lip biting, bone shattering kind of pleasure.

Oh you were so royally fucked.

“I—oh shit—Kylo I’m,” you pulled back just enough to pant out a warning before the wave took you.

So hot, it washed over your skin and made your legs shake and your hands leave his hair to dig your nails into his chest through the crisp white button down he wore.

“Feel that?” he grunted as you convulsed and shuddered under him, “Feel how this pussy was made for me.”

You nodded, buried your face in his neck and held on as he worked you through your climax and straight into his own. Once, twice he ground his cock deep in you, feeling how tight you were around him until he was spent and spilling hot, thick ropes of cum that coated your walls and dripped out around his length.

He panted, lazily rolling his hips, fucking you slowly until finally, he came to a halt with his softening cock still sheathed inside you. Seconds past, or maybe hours, you couldn’t tell. Kylo tended to have that effect on you. Time slipped away so easily in his presence, like there was never enough of it.

When he did pull away, you stayed with your back firmly planted amidst the mess of scattered paperwork and manila envelopes. He rose to his full, towering height and tucked himself away, straightening the wrinkles in his suit and eyeing you only once from the side. You admired his profile, you never understood until now what the meaning of the word “regal” truly was.

Under the dictionary definition, his picture surely would be there, staring at you down the bridge of his marble carved nose.

You sat up on your elbows as he stalked towards the door.

“Was that all you came for?”

Kylo paused, broad back still facing you and leaving the room feeling irrevocably empty with just the intention of his absence.

“We’ll reschedule for five tonight,” he said, filling the door frame completely. “Don’t be late.”

The door clicked shut behind him and the sound of it made you collapse back onto the desktop. You laid there for a moment, leaking your combined spend and aching. The throb of him settled in your muscles and festered. But the worst part was the other ache, the pain of being without. And maybe you had been a bit avoidant. Maybe this work really was so you didn’t have to see him. Because if you saw him you’d end up fucking him—which was fine, which was good, which was great actually—but then he would leave. And you couldn’t decide which wanting was worse. The wanting before or the wanting after.

Maybe it didn’t matter.

You had more important things to think about anyway. Like securing the receptionist an incredibly large holiday bonus, assuming you still had a job here at the end of the day.

Maybe that didn’t matter either.

It might be high time you made a commitment to whatever the hell kind of mess you’d stumbled into. Kylo Ren was an enigma in the best kind of way. Maybe you should stop running from it.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren smut #mob!kylo ren #lawyer!reader #dr. b writes #requests #adcu fanfic

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hajimesh · 4 years

Text

prompt list

(angst, soft, smut & random)

[ angsty prompts ]

1. “do you ever mean the things you say?”

2. “come back to me.”

3. “you really are an awful person.”

4. “you need to leave.”

5. “there was never an us.”

6. “i fucked up.”

7. “i’m so, so sorry.”

8. “leave me alone.”

9. “you’re not leaving, are you?”

10. “please look at me.”

11. “is s/he really just a friend?”

12. “i’m sorry but i don’t feel the same way.”

13. “did you think i wouldn’t find out?”

14. “do you even care anymore?”

15. “you don’t really think i’m getting annoying, do you?”

16. “as the saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”

17. “he wanted to take a break, but that meant it was all over.”

18. “she kept it to herself. she didn’t want him to see how much he hurt her.”

19. “i knew it was too good to be true.”

20. “you can’t let him get away with it this time.”

21. “i can’t hide the way i feel about you anymore.”

22. “he’s so paranoid, i can’t do anything by myself anymore.”

23. “don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

24. “every song reminds me of you.”

25. “i can’t stand seeing you like this.”

26. “don’t shut me out.”

27. “just promise to never lie to me, okay?”

28. “somethings are just better as memories.”

[ soft prompts ]

1. “you look exhausted, come here”

2. “not everyone is going to hurt you.”

3. “can i hug you?”

4. “you know i have feelings for you.”

5. “i wish you were here.”

6. “it’s too cold! come back!”

7. “monsters inc. was onto something, your smile and laughter runs my entire world.”

8. “i’m not going to stop poking you until you give me attention.”

9. “just pretend to be my date.”

10. “i didn’t get soaked wet walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. i have beer too. i know you’re sad, so let me in.”

11. “your cuteness is making everyone stare. stop it.”

12. “you make me proud. you know that, right?”

13. “you’re so damn beautiful, baby. i can’t believe you’re all fucking mine.”

14. “i know you’re mad at me but will a kiss change your mind?”

15. “god, i miss you so much.”

16. “i’m only doing it because you’re cute.”

17. “even when you’re annoying the fuck out of me, i still love you.”

18. "i love you even when you're sleepless and frustrated."

19. “can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”

20. “you’re so clingy, i love it.”

21. “you’re cute when you’re all worried.”

22. “can i do your hair?”

23. “why do you only kiss me when i’m sleeping?”

24. “nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise.”

25. “excuse me for falling in love with you.”

26. “i’m sorry, but that was adorable.”

27. “i’m glad you’re mine.”

[ smutty prompts ]

1. “what? does that feel good?”

2. “c’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working.”

3. “did i stutter?”

4. “the only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

5. “just let me finish this/this level and i swear i’ll go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

6. “i’d hold onto something if i were you.”

7. “try not to ruin your manicure when you dig those nails into my back.”

8. “i’m going to remeber this moment when i’m jerking off later.”

9. “you’re too flexible for your own good.”

10. “let’s fuck in the shower so it feels like we’re kissing in the rain.”

11. “if you keep fucking me this good, i’ll marry you.”

12. “we’re the sexiest couple i’ve ever seen.”

13. “you’re the reason i smile so wide and come so hard.”

14. “could he make you feel as good as i do?”

15. “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!”

16. “is that a gun on your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

17. “god damnit, now all i can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.”

18. “if i have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.”

19. “it’s not polite to stare, but i understand.”

20. “i love how your body loses control when you cum.”

21. “i’m bored. come over and sit on my dick.”

22. “why did you wear underwear, when you know im going to tear it off anyway?”

23. “im going to be late because you can’t keep it in your pants.”

24. “can i at least take my shoes off before u pounce at me?”

25. “no, i’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

26. “would you prefer my tongue or my cock?”

27. “dammit, we made a mess.”

28. “were you dreaming about me again?”

29. “well good morning to you too.”

[ random prompts ]

1. “have i entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

2. “let’s be annoyingly cute.”

3. “in this exact moment, i love my bed more than you.”

4. “grab my ass one more time and see what happens.”

5. “would you still date me if i dressed up as a cow for halloween?”

6. “these are not regular brownies!”

7. “he hates me. everytime i speak, he looks at me like i’m stupid.”

8. “i’m too sober for this.”

9. “the ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

10. “good thing i didn’t ask for your opinion.”

11. “why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”

12. “you work for me. you are my slave.”

13. “just smile, i really need to see you smile right now.”

14. “i had a bad dream again.”

15. “it’s a zombie, not an alien. know the difference.”

16. “you’re so cute when you’re upset.”

17. “waffles or pancakes? or wine? oh..or beer?”

18. “it’s almost midnight and you haven’t said anything cute at all.”

19. “do you always look at me like that?”

20. “what would you do if you never met me?”

21. “i should've stayed in bed.”

22. “picnics are for losers.”

23. “bed. now.”

24. “are you asking me out?”

25. “i may be an idiot, but i’m not stupid.”

26. “i just like proving you wrong.”

27. “we’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

28. “you know you want it, sweetheart.”

29. “you got a cute butt.”

30. “...or we can chill in our underwear.”

31. “he’s pampering me, let him be.”

32. “don’t touch me. we’re fighting.”

33. “i’ll give you a massage.”

34. “hold my hand so he gets jealous.”

35. “it’s just rain, you aren’t gonna melt!”

36. “you know when your phone buzzes, it means i’m trying to talk to you, right?”

37. “when’s that last time we went on a date?”

38. “i thought you didn’t like cats?”

39. “i had a dream about you.”

40. “pick up lines only work when i’m drunk.”

41. “but, i said i love you.”

42. “we could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.”

43. “you’re never this quiet, what’s wrong?”

44. “…or we could make out….”

45. “i warned you. he warned you. your freaking mom warned you.”

46. “sit still, for the love of all that is holy.”

47. “can you be romantic for once?”

48. “you don’t hate me, quit lying to yourself.”

49. “are you high?”

50. “ew ew ew. you’re so gross.”

51. “step aside and watch a pro.”

52. “i’m a lucky girl. i’ll admit that.”

#writing prompts #fic prompts #angsty prompts #soft prompts #fluffy prompts #smutty prompts

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hitsuackerman · 4 years

Text

Kisses and Distractions (Hawks x Reader) pt. 1

Prompt: How hard can it be for two Pro-Heroes to kiss?

a/n: theres not much meat to this since i had a random thirst call for this bird man XD i hope ya’ll enjoy this and if you want a part 2, drop a comment below :)

Warnings: Cursing

Link: part 2

Heroes. A vast majority of people wanted to become heroes. Each person has their own reason, whether it be for fame, money, power, or they were just deemed destined for it.

Being a hero, be it lower ranked or high ranked, almost always had to push their personal lives aside in order to put the civilians first. That’s what they were trained to do. Despite having classes on how to balance your Pro life and Personal life, it was always a struggle to balance things out.

Paparazzi on the other hand just loved to get the latest dirt on heroes. Be it tripping on the sidewalk, spilling their drinks, or even just hanging out with other fellow heroes. They needed the latest scoop. Though it is understandable that some of them need those to feed their families, some of them are just plain ass hats that love to ruin the moment.

Speaking of ruined moments, Pro-Hero #2 and an underground have their fair share of ruined moments. It all started when they finally told their feelings towards each other. Given, of course, that the situation was not the best.

“Is everyone safe?” You inquired to one of your fellow heroes. Both your hero costumes are covered in uneven mixtures of blood, dust, and sweat. “My area’s been cleared.”

“There’s still a few people left on the top floor.” The hero replied. His eyes now fixated on the building. Fires dancing their way out the window while smoke littered the air. There had been a random villain attack whose quirk was related to pyrotechnics. It was indeed flashy when random fireworks began to break through the windows.

“Take care of the injured.” Another hero commanded. “Hawks is doing his thing up there.”

Now, normally, you wouldn’t mind. That was his line of work and he did a pretty bad ass job with it. The only problem now was that he had been recently given a mission that caused him to use a lot of his feathers. It had only been a day and his wings were badly uneven.

One by one, the people stuck on the top floor came swooping down. Red feathers carrying one person each. Landing them as gracefully as the owner does. Looking up, your heart clenched at the sight of Hawks free falling with barely any feathers left. Seeing his feathers race towards him made you let go of that breath you had been holding.

Though it wasn’t as iconic as he usually lands, he still managed to look good anyway. Going back to treating the injured, your heart finally calmed down at the sight of him skipping towards Endeavor.

“You might as well just tell him, you know…” Ryukyu whispered. The two of you were now getting your injuries checked. Well, mostly you. “What’s there to lose, right?”

“The fact that he’s #2, that’s what’s holding me back.” You sighed as the nurse finished bandaging your forearm. “Or maybe because if he doesn’t feel the same way, he might tease me about. I doubt he’d do that but I think he might.”

After the last bandage had been placed, you thanked the nurse but asked if you could keep the blanket. Amused at your little act, she agreed and you thanked her for saving you a trip from the department store.

“You do know that blanket is dirty…”

“And blankets are hella expensive compared to laundry detergent.” The small finger gun you used on Ryukyu made her disown you. Face palming as she walked away. While you, questioned your sanity and Hawks’ effect on you. This was the first time you had ever pulled out those so called finger guns.

Your thoughts were cut when an uneven cluster of feathers framed your sight. Turning around, you were now face to face with #2. Thankfully, your face was covered with bandages. Enough to cover the blush forming on your face.

“You look pretty beat up, birdy.” His eyes scanned you from top to bottom. His fingers played with the edges of the blanket. The way he stared at you sent chills down your spine and your joints to grow a little weak.

“You’re one to say.” Somehow, you poked his shoulder. “Gave me a fright when you jumped from the building.”

“Bet you liked it.”

There it was. That wink that always catches you off-guard. Your grip on the comfort blanket tightened and you had to look away. If he would flirt even more, you would probably cave in and puke out your emotions to this birdman.

“You okay, birdy?”

“Yeah.” You lied. “Just a little shaken at the amount of, uh, injured people.”

“Such a bad liar.” His head tilted to the right. Pulling his visor’s down, you were blessed with a much clearer view of his eyes. You’ve never been fond of the color yellow but he made you think otherwise. “You can talk to me, you know that.”

‘Should I tread the waters? Fuck it.’

“I’m only a bad liar when it comes to you.” You began to trace circles on his shoulder using an index finger. Reading people wasn’t your strength but you could tell he was tense.

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you, birdy…” Hawks warned as he took a hold of your wrist. His gloved hand easily wrapped around it. Yet, his hold was gentle. Making sure no pain was inflicted.

‘Damn it.’ Your heart sunk. This would have to be the first time he didn’t flirt back. 'At least you kept your mouth shut.’

Letting go of your wrist, Hawks examined your features. Though you were smiling, he could see how your eyes looked sad. Part of him loved that small action you did. It felt as if electricity ran through his veins. It took a lot of mental control to stop his feathers from ruffling.

Hawks knew you liked him. He was all too aware that you were keeping things bottled up. But, he was smart enough to know that should he pursue you, you being underground would garner a lot of attention. And he knew you hated attention.

“Anyway…” You continued. Looking at the people around you. “I gotta go. Ryukyu’s waiting for me.”

“Not so fast.” Before you could turn he managed to grab your shoulders. “You misunderstood something.”

“And that is?”

“You know what happens to me if you touch me like that…” Hawks leaned in and whispered. Making sure that his feathers blocked the view from outside.

‘Oh?’ Your mind went places.

“Sadly, I don’t know what happens,” This was a bit of truth though. On occasions, you would find enough courage and comb through his feathers but usually you’d be receiving a twitch of his eye.

Hawks ran his fingers through his messy hair. A sigh to accompany it as well. When he looked into your eyes once more, your breath hitched. Maybe he already knew about your feelings. Most probably, yes at this point now.

“I know how you prefer to be lowkey.” Hawks began. “If I tell you that I reciprocate your feelings tenfold, the limelight would definitely fall on you. Making you uncomfortable is something I don’t want.”

“You like me back?”

“You may be a hero but you’re pretty blind to my attempts, (y/n).” Hawks teased. Bringing you in for a hug. “You ready to be in the spotlight if it means being with me?”

“I don’t really mind it to be honest. I was thinking of going to a few interviews every now and then but,” You scratched your cheek. This was something you had been meaning to tell him. You just couldn’t find the right time to do it. Staring at the linings of his body suit, you exhaled and shut your eyes. “I was kinda thinking of joining your agency. I mean, not for you, but mostly because I like how everything is so fast paced. Never a dull moment at Hawks’.”

“Well if that’s the case, application granted.” He gave you the go signal along with finger guns. “You can be my literal side kick.”

“Yeah, we’ll have to talk about that though. I don’t do well with team work.”

“Pushing that aside, that would make things easier for us. I can arrange things where you won’t be caught in the center of attention.” Hawks reassured you. Leaning in closer, he brushed his nose with yours. “That would mean I get to see you everyday.”

“Most probably, yeah.”

“God, I wanna kiss you so badly right now.” His feathers ruffled up. The way he pouted his lips as he stared at yours was too cute.

“I’m already wrapped around both your arms and wings,” You gave a shy smile. Seeing how your cheeks were flushed made him throw his resolve away. All he just needed was for your proper consent. “I don’t mind~”

Like a child, he smiled brightly. Once again, his feathers ruffled and even puffed up ever so slightly. Taking both his gloves off, he stuffed them into his jacket’s pocket and delicately cupped both your cheeks. His hands were calloused but you had always wanted them to touch your skin. Now, they finally were.

“I have to say, though.” He said as he leaned in. “We should’ve done this months ago.”

Seeing his golden eyes this close hit hard.

“I would have to agree on that, birdy.” You leaned in as well.

The two of you shared a smile as you began to meet halfway.

“HAWKS!”

Just as your upper lips brushed each other, the two of you froze on the spot. Confusion and irritation in both your wide opened eyes. Barely a few centimeters and contact would have been made. If you two had been given a few more seconds, you would finally be able to feel his lips on yours. He would finally taste you after how many months of deprivation.

“Cursed nuggets…” Hawks complained before letting go of your cheeks. It drove him wild when he saw the pleading look on your eyes. It yelled for him to just kiss you right there. “Don’t give me that look, baby. How dare he ruin our moment…”

Removing his wings and turning around, the two of you were now face to face with Endeavor. The #1 hero had just landed a few meters away from where you both stood. His flames danced with power as he made his way towards you.

“You realize you just ruined an important moment, Endeavor-san!” Hawks joked.

“Hawks…” You punched his shoulder. Tried, at least. He easily dodged it. Curse him and his feathers.

“Hawks. (your hero name). We have to meet with the others.” Endeavor relayed his message. Eyes focusing on Hawks then at you. “The two of you were not there for the hero count so they had to send me of all people.”

“You’re the only one who can get me workin, Endeavor-san!” The birdman replied as he skipped and flapped his uneven wings at the #1. Their relationship was always enough to make you giggle.

“Let’s go.” Endeavor commanded as he used his flames to propel himself to the air.

“I suppose you need a lift?” He teased as he offered a hand. When you accepted, he pulled you in and immediately cupped your cheek with his free hand. “Where were we?”

Smiling you leaned on to his body and wrapped your arms around his neck. Both of you breathed in and inched closer and closer.

*Ding*

“You gotta be kidding me, Chickadee…” Hawks furrowed brows.

“I’m sorry~” Taking your phone out, you read the notification only to be bummed out. Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at the news article of All Might. “Fucking notifications.”

Hawks suddenly pushed the two of you into the air. Just in time for Endeavor’s flame to hit the ground. By now, the two of you were pissed at not being able to continue a simple kiss.

Flapping his wings faster, he zoomed past Endeavor leaving a few stray feathers behind to annoy him.

So going back, how hard can it be for two Pro-Heroes to kiss?

The answer would have to be that it’s tricky. Thankfully, the two of you did not give up. As to how you two kissed, we’ll save that for another time :)

#hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #wing hero hawks #bnha hawks #mha hawks

195 notes · View notes

mego42 · 4 years

Note

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much).

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged. Or for some kind of cover story if it is. She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him. He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass.

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel? Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little. But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot.

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

#brio fic #brio fanfiction #good girls fanfiction #fic recs #anon #asks #gg disk horse #i feel like i had jokes i wanted to make in the tags but now that im here i've totally forgotten them #ANYWAY the important takeaway here is #tell me what you like and why i want to know okay #send me recs #ME ME ME #hahahahaha jk #sort of

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a-crimson-lion · 4 years

Text

A (Hopefully) Reasonable Response

For @kiricookie .

[Read this if you want the following ramblings to make any sense.]

(Sorry this is so hecking long and all over the place, I just wanted to be thorough.)

[Manga Spoilers and Movie Spoilers Ahead]

I’m gonna do things a little differently here.

For starters, I’m gonna not gonna be addressing the fandom at large, because the fandom at large won’t be able to give me an answer.

I’m just talking to you, kiricookie. Because it’s your post, and you deserve to know what people (like myself) think of it. Just letting you know right now, and this is with absolutely NO sarcasm: I won’t be rude. I’ll do my damndest to not be rude.

Because you didn’t go and make that post and share it with the entirety of the world wide web just for it to get ridiculously crapped on without so much as a glance.

So, I’ll read it. I’ll think about it. And I’ll give you my thoughts. You don’t have to read them if you don’t want to. But common courtesy makes it so I leave the opportunity. You deserve that much.

You probably already know what this is about anyway. So I’ll start with something… unexpected, at least coming from someone like me…

...you’re right.

To be more specific, you’re right about Tenya. You’re right about how his split second decision to murder Stain should be concerning and in fact is concerning. You’re right about how he’s the most prone to lose his control and how his emotions get the better of him. You’re right about all that.

*Internal wince* Now, if you don’t mind me going into other details…

I’m not saying anything that spurnned on Tenya to murder the Hero Killer was in any way justified; it wasn’t. It never could be, it never should be. Murder is wrong no matter how the hell you look at it, and even if you have no choice but to go through with it, you shouldn’t be happy that you had to take someone’s life under any circumstances. But looking through Tenya’s perspective for a moment… he lost a brother, in a way. He lost a hero. Someone extremely close to him, who inspired him and others, who did nothing but good in any way he possibly could. And then he got cut down by someone who Tenya only knows as the antithesis of good and now his brother can’t do any good, or at least not as much as he used to.

Again, that doesn’t excuse attempted murder. In a morbid way, it’s sort of the logical extreme of when we saw Tenya at the start of the series: he immediately writes of Izuku because he only sees him as a hindrance and recognizes his own shortcomings after the fact. He immediately guns after Stain because he did something unforgivable in his eyes, and recognizes his own shortcomings after the fact.

In the heat of the moment, Tenya is prone to failure. He is prone to misjudgement. We’re talking about the same guy who decked his best friend because he was about to do something borderline illegal. The entire point of Tenya is to showcase the distance between what he wants to be and what he actually is, and the steps he takes to get there.

But yeah, the murder plot was a tad… oh who am I kidding, a HELL of a lot of overkill.

But circling back to why we keep scrutinizing Katsuki about his mannerisms while we keep praising Tenya from sunrise to sunset… I can’t speak for all of us Bakugo antis, because I know some of us have legitimate reasons for disliking him and the others are butthurt record players on repeat that you mentioned, but I can at least give out my reasoning behind it.

We don’t talk often about Tenya having a murder episode because he never tries to do it again, and he legit tries to improve and avoid anything similar happening again.

After the Hosu incident, Tenya admits that Stain was right about him, and he resolves to not be a screw up from then on out. He makes an effort to be a better class representative, a better example than what he had been setting before. He doesn’t deck Izuku just because “hE aNgY” during the Hideout Raid arc; he doesn’t want Izuku to make the same mistakes as he did, because everyone else was worried about Tensei, Stain, and Tenya, but Tenya was so dead set on “righting a wrong” that he ignored everyone around him and nearly got himself killed for it, and if things were any worse in Hosu, Tenya might not have been the only one dead. For all intents and purposes, that’s what Tenya thinks is happening again when the Bakugo Rescue Squad suggests tracking their friend down.

And like you mentioned when Tenya offered to lend an ear to Izuku when the Shie Hassaikai incident was tearing him apart from the inside, that’s the progression coming full circle. Tenya realizes that there are other people in the equation that he needs to listen to and that need to be listened to, otherwise they’ll do something completely ludicrous and get themselves and/or other people hurt in the process.

And the thing is, Tenya only needs to have his “Oh f***” moment once. And it’s barely brought up again, which puts out of the audience’s minds.

(Sidenote, while you’re “heroes not killing is weak” thing kinda came out of left field with me, I actually agree. A whole lot actually. Just so you know.)

The thing about Katsuki is that everything supposedly “wrong” with him… is still kinda going on to some extent. Sure, the people at UA have thicker skin and are willing to brush him off or call him out, but that doesn’t change the fact that some of his behavior is… highly concerning.

Personally I tend to avoid the Episode 1 suicide baiting (“avoid,” not “ignore”) because it was forever ago and it is repetitive, but I still think it needs to be addressed to some degree. In any case, Katsuki’s actions throughout the series are what get me and others to not think he’s exactly hero material. In any team exercises, he often puts himself at the forefront (not without reason, but still) and tends to shy away from tag-teaming unless his back’s against the wall. Despite what the Joint Training Arc would claim, Baku did most of the heavy lifting on his own, with little to no actual teamwork, though that’s more of a narrative problem than an in-universe problem. Even his teamwork with Izuku is still shaky at best; he keeps yelling at him, berating him, and telling him to do his best just so he won’t screw Katsuki over.

Say what you will about Katsuki’s “unique” personality, it may fly with his classmates, but realistically speaking, it’s gonna be a problem for when he does get into Professional Hero work. Can he be rude and snarky on professional business? Absolutely. Does he have to scream at his partner(s) whilst making them feel like they’re at the bottom of the barrel? Eh…

Before I commit to your last paragraph, I wanna bring up something. We can both agree that Tenya lost a hero when Tensei was attacked, right? We can both agree that his decision to ignore everyone and go in guns blazing was terrible, 0/10, wouldn’t recommend, right?

Okay. It’s not to the same degree, but… Katsuki has done something similar.

Katsuki lost a hero too. His name was All Might?

And what did Katsuki do well after the fight was over. He didn’t talk about it with anyone. He dragged out his childhood friend so he could rough him up, because fists is the only way he knows how to deal with his disconnect of societal expectations and, as AO3 would attest, Katsuki is complete s*** at feelings.

Katsuki did the same things Tenya did, albeit to a lesser degree. They both lost a hero. They both didn’t talk about it to anyone. And in the end, they both tried to hurt someone in order to alleviate their pain. The aftermath is… admittedly lucky for both parties.

So, about your last paragraph before the GIF… do you wanna know why antis (at least like me) keep bringing up Katsuki’s previous mistakes. It’s less so because they ever happened, or even because Katsuki did them. It’s more so because despite what the narrative and most of the fandom may think, Katsuki’s mistakes are never treated as such, at least not substantially. Eraserhead doesn’t even bother giving Katsuki a pep-talk about his behavior on the first day, or at any time he’s there to witness Katsuki acting like a jackass. All Might doesn’t stop the training exercise when Katsuki nearly kills a fellow student, which he was aware of being a possibility but it’s fine so long as he dodges, and it isn’t even addressed properly afterwards. In the Final Exams, Katsuki hitting his partner and later being dragged out the gate doesn’t bar him from passing, like say, Hanta; while Katsuki did contribute more, it doesn’t change the fact that his initial uncooperative behavior wouldn’t fly in the Pro Hero world, and he made himself a liability in those last few seconds against All Might. Even him losing the Provisional License Exam isn’t as big of a deal, because Katsuki gets to learn about a really important Quirk, no one’s grilling him like, say, Izuku is getting grilled, and not having his License and getting an additional day of house arrest spares him a potential “maybe strength isn’t everything” ass whooping from Mirio. I could go on a bit longer, but I think you get the jist.

Now, I’d absolutely LOVE it if society didn’t royally f*** up Katsuki’s perspective the way it did, but the problem is that the narrative has absolutely no intention of showing or admitting that Katsuki’s perspective is problematic. Ever since Deku vs Kacchan 2 decided that was enough development for Katsuki, he is always in the right, 100% of the time. Any opposition is few and far between, and will often be seen in the wrong anyway despite the legitimate concerns a person like Katsuki would present. Sure he can tell a kid not to look down on people during the Remedial Course arc, but when the Cultural Festival comes around he immediately decides to look down on the other classes. The fact that a majority of UA hates Class 1A is some grade-A bulls***, but the speech Katsuki gives to 1-A is also bulls***.

It essentially boils down to “F*** everybody else and only do things for yourself.” Because that’s what heroes are supposed to do…

That aside, Katsuki needs help. He needs therapy, anger management, and someone who won’t take his s*** just because he’s a so-called natural born leader with a flashy Quirk, because that’s what canon essentially boils down to. Any time Katsuki takes the lead, at least in my eyes, it’s less so because he’s a legitimately good leader and more so because the narrative has decided he’s the only one who should be taking charge.

I want Katsuki to improve, even if I personally have given up on the prospect of that happening. The problem starts when the narrative continually insists that Katsuki is more or less in the clear and is totally fine when really, he isn’t.

Izuku needing help is obvious and valid, but Katsuki needing (and getting) help is valid, too. Now if only the narrative could pick up on that.

And as for that last bit of your post… really, I can only speak for myself. As strong as Izuku is, as much as his opinion matters in this entire debacle, I can’t help but feel like Izuku is more blinded by nostalgia more than anything else. He still wants a connection with someone he’s known since childhood, and I can respect that, but the thing is, Katsuki spent nearly a decade telling Izuku, intentionally or otherwise, that he didn’t want the same thing. This continued from the time Izuku tried to help Katsuki out of a river all the way until after the Sludge Villain incident. And society had a hand in that bulls***tery, Katsuki was never the only culprit, but he was still a prominent one. And I don’t know about you, but nearly two years is probably not as long as you’d like to think it is, because that’s how long that it’s been since the overplayed, overrepeated suicide bait. And even ignoring that, two years isn’t enough of a gap between the near decade of societal degradation Izuku had to suffer through.

I don’t hate that Izuku is so forgiving. I hate that Katsuki isn’t willing to accept or consider it in any meaningful capacity. I hate that in a world where Tenya Iida, Shoto Todoroki, Kota Izumi, and even Gentle Criminal exist, that Katsuki has to be the contrarian because of his damn pride. And again, society f***ed up on that end, but that doesn’t stop the fact that Katsuki has actively refused to pursue other options, instead staying on the first and foremost thought of “blast it,” with his Quirk or his voice, unless he’s in combat, in which case it becomes “blast it but don’t be stupid about it.” Because Izuku’s forgiveness has worked before for the benefit of others. What does Katsuki get from Izuku’s forgiveness he doesn’t even fully accept, other than another obstacle he sees that needs to be beaten?

Yeah he’s still 16, yeah he’s a teenager and therefore still has the time to grow proper, but you know who else is 16? Tenya Iida. Shoto Todoroki. Two prickly, borderline asshole characters who also received gradual growth, faced setbacks and proceeded to grow past them. Meanwhile, Katsuki is still just passing the halfway point. I’m not putting that on Katsuki, but if Hori really wanted us to root for him, he shouldn’t have displayed that characters like Tenya and Shoto are able to develop overtime at faster rates than Katsuki can, and as much as I can keep playing the society card, Katsuki wasn’t the only one bombarded with high expectations. Shoto, Tenya, Momo, and potentially Mina all come from backgrounds wherein high expectations were expected of them; Shoto grew up in a confirmed abusive household for crying out loud, and we’ve seen him trying to grow past his issues.

Katsuki has yet to demonstrate anything similar. After Deku vs Kacchan 2, he’s still yelling Izuku’s ears off, or throwing his mask like a ninja star because comedy, or trying to fight a big time villain again because he still actually hasn’t learned to take a loss. Maybe it’s because he internalized most of his self-hatred and projected it onto Izuku so long, but I really can’t say for certain. The change doesn’t have to be night and day, but it can certainly be more substantial than what we’re getting now, and that alone disappoints me. And I’m sorry to say it, but the wait for Katsuki to finally grow beyond his excessive asshole tendencies and graduate to decent asshole is draining on me, and no longer a big contributor to me keeping up with the story (Izuku is a big contributor to that, because I’m basic).

Changing each other probably wouldn’t be advised, but their dynamic and their issues with and independent of one another should still be addressed. I have a big issue with “win to save, save to win” because of this, actually. Katsuki has to give a s*** about people, sure, but Izuku doesn’t need to focus more on winning when he already wins enough as is. It’s a false equivalence that further justifies the worst parts of Katsuki. That obsession with winning, with never falling behind in the eyes of society, only further fuels his need to put others down and push his physical capabilities to the maximum while he puts his emotional spectrum on the backburner. And the “friendship” he has with Izuku isn’t gonna change that, because again, Katsuki’s primary concern is surpassing One for All, surpassing Izuku as the Chosen One. He has yet to display any major concern for Izuku beyond the extent of his Quirk usage in the main series. The closest thing we’ve gotten was a look of shock on his face during Heroes: Rising, and this was in response to Izuku suggesting that he pass One for All.

On that note, Izuku cares about Katsuki, as a person, as a rival, and as a friend, and he has displayed this time and time again. Katsuki has only shown care for Izuku as an obstacle, as a challenge he must overcome and one he wants to overcome without hindrance. He has yet to show any semblance of care for Izuku beyond that with meaningful context, believe it or not. And quite frankly, I’m getting sick of people wanting to bring Katsuki on board just because Izuku is giving him the benefit of the doubt when he arguably hasn’t done anything proper to earn any of Izuku’s trust. I know Izuku’s not weak, I know he’s sound of mind, but Katsuki is not a rational subject for Izuku. He has known this boy since childhood, he has seen what he is capable of, and his optimism keeps him in a favorable light. That is incredibly noble of Izuku, and I commend him for it, but I cannot stand by the decision when Katsuki’s attitude towards Izuku and his actual contributions to Izuku’s journey don’t show anything direct or substantially reflective on Katsuki’s end.

...but that’s just me. The hell do I know anyway?

And if you actually bothered to read this word vomit… thanks.

-Crimson Lion (18 August 2020)

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #318

“what can you do, where can ya go, when your mama is a burnout, and your daddy is a pyro?”

Do you have your ears pierced more than once? Yeah. Do you use an electric toothbrush? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? Oh, I have no idea. That's something I avoid like the plague because I loathe my body. When was the last time you got high? Never. Do you get along with your parents? Yeah. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No, I don't fuck with that stuff. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don't answer numbers I don't recognize to begin with. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? Nooooo. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot of 'em. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Have you ever walked through a forest at night on your own? Uh, no sir. When was the last time you were in a graveyard? It's been many, many years. Do you know what an ‘AMV’ is? Yep, used to make 'em. How many items are in your recycle bin? (On your computer!) Oh yikes, probably loads. I haven't emptied it in... I don't know how long. Would you rather be a bird or a fish? A bird. What’s one award show you have to watch every year? None. Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? Joker. Heath Ledger's is my favorite. Have you ever had a pet rock? No. How much do you weigh? Yeah, no. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Taking nature photographs. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I don’t do roller coasters to begin with. Have you ever gone in a sauna? Ugh, hell no. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Are you attracted to people outside of your race? Yes. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? No. Have you ever dated someone more than once? No. Best cough drop? Those creamy strawberry ones. If you have a pet, does it make a lot of noise? One's a snake, so she's silent as could be. My cat is generally quiet, but he has his times where he just walks around meowing, normally for attention. Are you a fan of eyeshadow? If I actually wear makeup, yeah, I like black eyeshadow. Can you tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi? Absolutely. I don't like Pepsi. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? Done it before, didn't feel weird. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? A Silent Hill poster. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yeah, as a kid. What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? Brown. What was the title of the last song you listened to? So today I've really been digging dark synthwave/cyberpunk-ish music, and right now I have a playlist on that's currently playing "DNA War" by Absolute Valentine and Billy Mays. How far away is the closest Walmart? Not even five minutes. Can you do a backflip? No. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Well, Ozzy is the lead singer of Ozzy Osbourne, haha. When was the last time you went fishing? Not since Sara visited and we went catfishing with my dad one night. What brand of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? My mom, lmaoooo. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Also my mom, haha. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Juan's maybe like... 28 or something by now, idk. Have you ever run a stoplight? No. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? YIKES, no. That sounds miles beyond awkward. Are both your parents still living? Yeah, thankfully. What’s something that makes you feel more creative? Music, for sure. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I do find those super cute. What gives you a quality of life? Not much nowadays, idk. What would give you a high quality of life? A sense of purpose, direction, and worth. Do you have any rugs on top of carpet in your home? We have a big one in our living room, yes. I don't get it. Do you have a mattress cover on your bed? Yeah. Do you hate taking naps during the day? No; naps are normal for me. Who has the best personality on YouTube? Maybe I'm biased, but I genuinely do think Mark for a multitude of reasons. He's just extremely likable imo and sincerely a fucking spectacular human being. Do you have any vinyl records? No, but I would love to collect classic rock and metal ones. Which serial killer(s) do you find most fascinating? I'm quite honestly not well-informed in serial killer stories. I think they're interesting, but not enough for me to learn about them. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's fuckin dope. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? ALL OF THEM AHHHH!!!!! But I particularly love learning about social animals, like meerkats (mongoose in general, really), African wild dogs, wolves, etc. What are your thoughts on gun control? I don't support the idea of banning firearms altogether, but I am very much in favor of some reform. There needs to be a much, much more strict and complex system in order for you to legally own a gun, and I also support periodic "check ups" to ensure you still fit whatever criteria is laid out. "Bad people will still find guns;" yes, some most certaintly will, but you can't convince me that the numbers wouldn't decrease. It would take a serious villain to put so much effort into pursuing obtaining a firearm. Do you like animals better than most humans? Sure do. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I've blocked people to prevent that. If you collect anything, what is your favorite piece of that collection? I cherish the plush meerkat Jason gave me most, probably; out of my Silent Hill stuff, the limited edition Revelation flyer I have in Japanese. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? Hi, meet my best friend lmao. Are there any musicians you didn’t like at first, but grew on you? Probably. Do you have any favorite books you’d like to have signed by the author? Not really. Well wait, Ozzy signing my copy of his autobiography would be pretty damn cool. Do you like any board games or card games? I'm not really a board game fan, but Magic: The Gathering is fun as far as card games go. What historical figure(s) are you most interested in? I'm not incredibly interested in any, but I do think Pharaoh Hatshepsut was a bad bitch. She was one of the extremely few female pharaohs, and if my memory serves me right, one of the most successful. Do you like Breaking Benjamin? I sure do. How many people of the opposite sex have you told you loved them? One. Have you ever had to change your phone number? Yes, because I was getting strange texts from numbers I didn't know. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. What’s your favourite comic book/graphic novel? I don’t read any. What is something you take pride in? How far I've come as far as my mental illnesses go, particularly depression and PTSD. What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I'm not getting up to go look. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No; I hate lettuce on burgers, so. What brand is your vaccuum cleaner? Dunno. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Sure, but I don't believe it's a must for everyone. Plenty of people don't even want to get married. Be intimate once you're comfortable with the person, and be safe and smart about it. Are you for or against abortion? I'm pro-choice. Do you feel like you need to lose weight? It's fact that I need to. My body just doesn't want to, afuckingpparently. All I seem to be capable of is either maintain or gain nowadays. Is summer your favorite season? It's my least favorite, actually. Do you wear glasses? I'm basically blind without 'em. Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? Yeah, in German. What do you want out of life? To feel like I made a difference, even if it's a small one. Do you ever get carsick? No. Do you groom your eyebrows? Not really anymore, no. Have you ever liked someone who treated you badly? No. When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? Oh boy, probably not since I had my cyst in I think '16. I was in so much agony and we had no painkillers, so I had to wake up Mom to go to Walmart to grab some. They barely even helped at all. God, I couldn't imagine dealing with that again. Were your last two kisses with the same person? Yes. Do you have alcohol in your house? I don't think we do right now, no. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? Yeah; I don't wear anything that shows my legs unless I shaved, but I will never wear a dress that isn't at least past my knees. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? Avril Lavigne was/is an ICON. I still think she looks badass. So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say the opposite, but I say "gif" now. Apparently that's how the creator of the term says it anyway. When you are invited to things like wedding showers or baby showers do you tend to go or skip? What about graduation parties? If Mom is able to take me, I'll try to go to the first two if they're my closer friends. Do you like spicy chips? Oh FUCK yes. What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house? Elf with Sara's fam. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's, yes. Dad's, only the month. Do you read your friends' surveys? Yep, I love learning about them. Do you know anyone with a glass eye? Not to my knowledge, no. Do you ever use the n-word? Absolutely not. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I tend to like lip piercings. Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? Chicken. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah, multiple times as a kid, "camping" in the yard with Dad, haha. What do you call your grandparents? I called both sets just "Grammy" and "Grampa." Have you ever cried while reading a book? Oh, certainly. How many college degrees do you want? I got none, and I'm not going back to college. Do you know how to play pool? What about foosball? Yes. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey with my dad a few times. Do you own any jerseys? No. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; that's why I had braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Maybe like... Victor. Idk. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour. Do you like bacon bits on your salad? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a soup person. Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Yeah. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. What is your favorite place that you’ve lived? My pre-teen and teenage years house: in the woods on a dead-end road and down a gravel path that everyone always missed when learning where our house was. The actual road itself had very, very little traffic, and there was a large expanse of cotton fields. I loved it and miss the house itself, but it's got a lot of bad memories rotting in it. Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? My niece and nephew. <3 Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. We barely interact at all. Does one side of your family live in another state? Literally none of my extended family (or half-siblings) live in NC. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No. Is there a good hospital where you live? God no. It is notoriously awful. When was the last time you were asked out? Did you accept or decline? Mid-2017. I aceepted. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? N/A Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be? Yeah. Probably white/ivory or black. Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No. Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? No, I don't like the texture. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? Probably not. What’s your favorite amusement park? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Do you play video games? If so, what kind? Yeah. My favorite are horror games, but I also love me some story-driven survival games like The Last of Us, and then there's "kids" games like Spyro, etc. I like a looot of different kinds. Would you buy used clothes? I don't think so. I know it's easy to wash clothes and stuff, I'd just still feel kinda... grossed out by it.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''pyro'' by shinedown

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afterhoursfic · 4 years

Note

[1/2] [noncon ~21 yr old jask] jasksier walking down the street, he's been disowned by his rich family, makes lives in a shady part of town with the money he makes at a barmaid (what the fuck is that word in modern english i legit dont remember ive read so much fic😂) Geralt works in the mafia under Vesemir, he's his second-hand man, and sees Jaskier walking alone at night, humming something under his breath. Loves his carefree innocence and wants to /ruin it/. omg i love the guns kink so much😂

2/2Pullshim into an alley, cigarette in his mouth, presses gun to small of Jaskier's back "stay still or ill shoot you." Rips his clothes off, fucks him however you'd like (i imagine hard, rough, and not too painless), and then shoves a gun inside him (which is probably equally painful, if not more), just for funsies, doesnt care that his cum's gonna fuck with his gun's upkeep. "Is that loaded?" "Keep talking and youll find out" afterwards, geralt lets him go and jask asks "was it loaded" "yes."

Warning: non con, gun kink

Hope you like it, and no worries barman/barmaid or barista I believe is the modern term anyway so you’re good XD

It was bordering 2 am and he was very quickly losing interest in whatever deal he was supposed to be making with the fucker now 20 minutes late,. He had only stayed out so long so he could watch as the main street filtered out with people in various drunken stages, from the poor sods acting as chaperones to the ones who couldn't keep their liquor down and threw it all up on the pavement, it was interesting in its own weird way watching as other people went about their lives none the wiser as to the sort of dealings that went on in the dark.

With that thought, he deemed the meeting important enough to wait until he finished his cigarette, after that he would go home, get pleasantly buzzed on whiskey and maybe even hire some company for the evening and let Vesemir deal with the fallout tomorrow. Not that he expected a bollocking, he was punctual as always and if their clients weren't of a similar mind then it wasn't worth the business.

Eyes still watching the dwindling nightlife he caught sight of a boy leaving one of the clubs, a boy being what he was for he could barely be legal, and his eyes caught on the embroidered shirt he wore and the dark denim jeans that looked as if they'd been tailored to accentuate his ass. It was clear the boy came from money and he briefly wondered whether there may be a job in trying to blackmail the boy's parents, he half expected a car to come and pick him up given the late hour but instead, the boy wrapped his arms around himself before he ventured away from the road and down an alley he knew to be a shortcut into dingier part of town, the part where most people didn't bother to hide most of their dealings, and curiosity piqued, he followed.

He kept his distance for a while, his ears barely catching the tune the boy was whistling as he kicked a rock when he walked, the cliche sign of someone down on their luck if he'd ever seen it. It was apparent the boy had been through some sort of hardship, his clothes were tailored, his hair artfully styled and even 10 paces back he could smell the expensive cologne he was wearing, and yet the boy was out long after dark when mummy and daddy would worry after their protege and he was heading towards trouble in this neighborhood. He had been through hardship, yes, but there was an innocence to him from the way he kicked at the rock like a child to how he hummed a familiar tune and he found that he wanted.

Wanted to ruin the kids' boyish innocence and leave him broken and ravaged on the roadside and so, cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, he pulled the gun from his waistband and picked up his pace until he was able to reach forward with his free hand and grab his hair to pull him deeper into the alley whilst he lifted the gun to press against his temple as he leaned forward to whisper in the boy's ear "Don't scream, I'd hate to ruin that pretty face of yours"

Shoving the boy into the nearest wall he kicked his legs apart to make space for himself before pushing up behind him so there was nowhere for him to go, he pressed against the boys back and forced him harshly into the wall before he slowly ground his growing erection to press against the boys' ass, taking far too much enjoyment from the small whimper he heard from the boy before he tried to turn his head to face him.

"Just take my money, I don't-"

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to go out after dark little bird"

"Please, just let-"

"I don't think you're in any place to be making demands" Gun still fixed to the boys' temple he began pawing at the front of his shirt to try and loosen the buttons but after it took far too long to undo just the first one he grabbed at the almost silk like material and using his teeth to help get a grip on the material, managed to rip it off the boy's chest before he leaned forward to kiss and nip his teeth at his throat, feeling his dick twitch as he heard the boy panting in small uneven breaths as he bit his bottom lip as if trying to keep back the noises he wanted to make.

Shirt gone, he let his free hand trail across his chest to tug harshly at a nipple, pulling and pinching it between his fingers until the boy let out a pained cry which only caused him to shove the barrel of his gun under the boy's chin with the whispered command to be quiet, earning another whimper, before he moved to the other nipple to give it the same treatment.

Once the boy's nipples were red and hard under his hand he pulled away just far enough to tug at the waistband of his jeans to pull them along with his underwear down to his ankles, effectively trapping his legs before once again moving to stand between them, forcing the boy to press against the cold, brick wall as his still clothed dick now strained at the denim to press in the crease of the boys bare ass.

When he brought two fingers up to the boy's mouth, at first he resisted, the boy's mouth remaining firmly closed even as he tried to force it open, a feat much harder one handed so instead he moved those fingers to rub against the boy's hole, dry, pressing one of them in just barely but enough that he felt the boy clench tightly against the intrusion, soft pleas to stop falling from his lips.

"I'm fucking you one way or the other, depends how easy you want to make it on yourself" With that, he pulled his fingers away from the boy's hole and back in front of his mouth "Last chance"

He couldn't help but growl into the boy's neck as he felt a wet tongue begin to lick at the tips of his fingers, only he didn't have time to wait for the boy to kitten lick his fingers, hell he didn't want to wait so instead just shoved them straight down the boy's throat, letting out a small moan as he felt the boy gag around them and try to get any control back. He didn't let him, he just fucked his fingers into his mouth three, four, five times before pulling them out before he crouched down behind the boy, and using the gun, moved one of his ass cheeks to the side so that he could get a view of his hole before spitting on it, chuckling as he heard the boy moan and watched his hole clench and unclench at the warm spit before he stood back up and unceremoniously pushed the first finger in, he wasn't a brute after all.

As he began fucking the boy with one finger, quickly making it two, he trailed the barrel of his gun along the boy's stomach, side, across his neck, chuckling as he felt his muscles clench and small shivers pass through him whilst he began to suck a series of dark hickies onto the boy's neck.

Just as soon as he'd started, he was pulling his fingers out and in a quick movement had his dick out and slicked with spit before the tip was pressed against the boy's hole, taking far too much enjoyment at the way he felt it clench against him, already awaiting that tight heat as he began to push in, whatever protest the boy may have tried to make died on his lips and instead became a pained cry which was quickly muffled by shoving his face into the wall, as he pushed even deeper, all but grinding his teeth to try and keep control, to drag it out as long as possible as the boy whimpered around his cock.

When he was fully seated in the boy he pulled back a little just to watch as he pulled about halfway out before quickly thrusting back in, letting out a growl at the pained whimper from the boy as he began to pick up his pace and really fuck into the boy.

He had been reduced to somewhat animalistic grunts as he fucked into the boy with fervor, made better by every cry and whimper and pained groan that seemed to come out of the boy every other thrust that made him just want to fuck harder, to get deeper until the boy was nothing more than a simpering mess around his cock.

It was on one thrust that had caused the boy to shout that had him stop, pressing him close to the wall so he could breathe in his ear, gun teasing under his chin "Thought I told you to keep quiet"

"I'm sorry, I pro-" With the boy's mouth open he quickly shoved the tip of his gun past his lips, all but feeling the boys distress as his whole body clenched in fear, his hole now had a death grip on his cock as he carried on fucking into him causing him to groan as he tried to fuck even harder into him as he neared his release "Best be good little bird, wouldn't want to see you get hurt"

He could practically hear the scowl from the boy at that, he knew the irony of course, the promise not to hurt him with a gun in his mouth whilst he fucked his ass with no lube and little prep, he just didn't care and ignored whatever attempts the boy tried to make to get his mouth off the gun and instead forced it just a little bit deeper as his thrusts started to become uneven and desperate as he neared the edge of his release.

It was when he moved his thumb to take the safety off of the gun still in the boy's mouth, causing the boy to panic and try to squirm and thrash to get out of his hold that caused him to clench even tighter on his cock that he finally came with a long groan, letting the boy's movement milk as much come from his cock as he slowly rode out the aftershocks until they were standing there, the boy tense in his arms as he leisurely began to fuck the tip of his gun in his mouth just for something to do.

He ventured his free hand down to the boy's half hard dick and with a smirk on his face and a warning to keep quiet, he both pulled out of the boy's hole and took the gun out of his mouth.

"That thing isn't loaded is it?" He doesn't give an answer as with his free hand he pushed between the boy's shoulder blades to keep him fixed to the wall whilst he began to toy the edge of his gun at the boy's rim, feeling him tense up even more if that were possible "Is it loaded? Please don't, I don't want-"

"Keep talking and you'll find out" He then pushed the barrel past the boy's rim, just a bit thicker than his own dick, and into his hole, already slick with spit from the boy's mouth, but given the pained hiss and the small grunts with every little twist of the wrist, it was a lot to take. He angled the gun just a little as he began to thrust it a little deeper into the boy and it was when his breath hitched he knew he'd found the boys prostate and did his best to abuse it.

A part of him lamented the loss of his gun, already his come was starting to leak out the boy's hole even with the gun in him and he didn't want to think what inside the barrel would look like, but in his business guns were as easy to come by as candy so he didn't mourn too long as he watched the boy slowly get harder as he was fucked by his gun, unable to stop himself from burying his face into the boy's neck to hear every breathless pant and barely held moan.

"You like being fucked by my gun? Such a dirty bitch, you'll get off to anything that's fucking you" With that, he wrapped a hand around the boy's dick and stroked in time with the thrusts of his gun "Beg for me to let you come, tell me how good it is to get fucked by my gun little bird" When there was no answer he tightened his grip around the boys cock until he cried out in pain "I said beg" his voice was deeper, darker, one that brooked no argument and he smiled just a little into the boy's neck when he felt him relax just a little in defeat.

"Please, please let me come" The words were strained but his orders were followed at least so slowly he began to stroke the boys cock again "Your gun feels so good in me, I'm such a slut and your gun fills me so well" again the words are monotonous and only being said because the boy had to but it still does the job and he's sure that even then if he hadn't come already, those words would have done it.

Instead, he doubled down his efforts, stroking the boys cock furiously whilst rubbing the barrel of the gun on his prostate until the boy is shaking against him as he comes. It's only when he's stopped shaking that he pulls the gun out, wiping the edge of it against the boy's side as he leaned to whisper in his ear "To answer your question little bird"

He quickly pointed the gun deep into the alley and fired, laughing when he felt the boy jolt in his arms at the loud bang that left behind a deafening silence. Without wasting much more time he tucked his dick back into his pants and his gun back into his waistband before turning to the boy, still frozen where he was left against the wall, not even daring to breathe,

"You should be more careful out there little bird, next person may not be as nice as me" With that he gave a light smack to the boy's ass, and seemed to finally get him into motion and scramble to put what on what was left of his clothes, not bothering to spare him a glance as he pulled out and lit a cigarette before he turned back into the alley to head back towards the club.

#afterhours cw non con #afterhours cw gun kink

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schrijverr · 3 years

Text

I Wrote My Own Deliverance

Chapter 9 out of 10

Alexander Hamilton is reborn as Alex Hambleton. He is desperate not to make the same mistakes twice, but it seems he is stuck in the narrative, unable to get out. Familiar faces pop up all around him as he attempts to keep his previous life a secret and write himself out of the story.

On AO3.

Ships: Alex/John/Eliza preslash implied

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Alex had attempted to sleep his misery away. He had hoped to wake up when it was all over and he could pretend he had not just done that again.

Overwhelm them with honesty always felt like a great option, until you had spread the word and were waiting for the reactions.

However, no such luck was in store for Alex when he awoke to the sound of someone banging loudly on his door. It took a moment for the yelling to register, but he quickly identified it as Angelica when she yelled: “Alexander open this door right now, because I will not hesitate to kick it in.”

He jumped out of bed and called something out to her as he stumbled over, blanket hanging over his shoulders, his hair still a mess from running his hands through it all night, bags under his eyes and a weight on the slump of his shoulders.

When he opened the door, he was met with more people than just Angelica. Behind her stood Eliza, Herc, Lafayette and John, all with crossed arms and stern expressions on their faces.

If they expected him to react the same as before, they were sorely mistaken. He was tired and emotionally drained and he did not have the energy to create an aloof mask. So when he saw them all standing there, he did what any sane person would have done and broke down into tears as he sank to the floor.

Immediately the lecture they had in store for him was forgotten as they sank down to wrap him up in a hug as he sobbed a thousand apologies into their clothes.

After a while Angelica took control of the situation and managed to usher them into the dorm, before they attracted too much attention. She also situated Alex onto his bed, pressed tightly between his friends, with Eliza and John on both sides and Herc and Lafayette next to them, while Angie set to make some tea.

“I’m so sorry for not telling you all.” Alex said, wiping away his tears after he had finally gotten his breathing under control.

“Hey, it’s okay, Alexander, it’s all okay.” Eliza petted his hair, but it just made more tears fall out of his eyes.

“No, no, it’s not,” he protested, voice still broken, “I fucked up again, I made you all sad by ignoring you and it was all for nothing anyway, I still messed up and I’m probably going to stay a fuck up for the rest of my life even when I try so so hard, it’s just never enough.”

“Alex, stop that.” John told him, he realized that kindness was perhaps good, but not if they couldn't snap him out of it.

“Stop what?”

“Stop beating yourself up over trying to be a better person and succeeding.” he answered, taking pride in the fact that he had reduced Alexander ‘A-Hundred-Words-Per-Minute’ Hamilton to silent gaping imitation of a fish on dry land.

When he finally managed to gather his words, he softly whispered: “Succeeded?”

At that point Angelica came back and pushed a warm mug in his hand as she counted on her fingers: “Didn’t cheat, didn’t ruin someone else’s life in an attempt to save your reputation and tried to do what was best for your friends even if the conclusion on how to do that was wrong. You already ‘changed the story’, as you put it.”

“But what if it wasn’t enough?” he asked, “What if no one believes me and Washington gets fired and he hates me and then I never get to see him or Mama M again and you all still have to yell at me for being a shit friend, which is true, and I am left alone and-”

“Alex, I love you, but please shut up before you talk yourself into a panic attack.” Eliza cut off his ramblings.

It seemed that it was enough for Alex to completely shut down and he just stared into another dimension, face riddled with shock and disbelief.

“If zat is truly the worst thing you can come up with then rest assured, mon petit lion, I can - how you say - ah, repel these thoughts.” Laf offered, “If no one believes you, you can actually prove you are Alexander Hamilton by registering.”

“Yeah, and Washington fucking loves you dude, so be chill on that front.” Laurens added, “Same goes for Martha, if she’s still the same.”

“And we will yell at you, but we’re not going to ditch you.” Angelica finished.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked.

Both John and Eliza pull him in for a hug as they whispered: “Of course we’re sure.” “We missed you.”

“Sorry I never said I remembered.” Alex apologized again.

“Well, one pro of being a chronic over-sharer with the world at large is that you don’t really have to explain.” Herc was teasing him, that was Hercs teasing voice and Alex had never been more happy that he was being made fun of.

The sound from his throat was a mix between a sob and a laugh as he confessed: “I missed all of you so much, it literally hurt to not say anything.”

“We believe you.” Eliza told him and both she and Laurens hugged him tightly.

They formed a cuddle pile and started up the The Fellowship of the Ring while Alex was busy being overwhelmed by what his life was right now.

When the fellowship had just arrived in Moria, Alex cleared his throat and said: “I think I’m ready for the yelling now.”

“Alright, if you say so.” Angelica warned him before getting up and taking a deep breath: “How dare you give in to your big ego and throw away your life in a duel when you wife and living children needed you. How dare you leave us all behind for honor when we needed you, you dumb fuck.”

“It was a dick move to not tell me who you were when I found you again, Alex.” John did not give him a moment to react, “I missed you so fucking much and then you pull that shit, break my heart all over again.”

“While I understand and forgive you, it was, as John eloquently phrased it, a dick move to not come to my aid in France.” Lafayette told him and Alex shrunk under his gaze.

Eliza took over: “It was difficult when you left me with the children and it took a long time to forgive you and it hurt even more to see you without you knowing me. And knowing in hindsight that you did, does not make it any better.”

Alex was ready for the ground to swallow him and he wanted to nothing more then for this to be over as he turned to Herc, who shrugged: “It sucked that you didn’t come around more? I don’t know, dude, I don’t have that much beef with you. Except that I had to deal with these two dramatic assholes without you.”

The two assholes in question both let out an indignant ‘Hey!’ as Alex snorted, already calming down a bit.

It was quiet for a few more seconds then Alex said: “Can I talk now? I know I’ve already written everything down for the world to see and all that, but I have been thinking for years about what to say if I had the chance, so…”

John grinned and said: “I never thought I’d say this, but I’d love a Hamilton speech right now. Do your worst.”

“I resent that.” he fired back, before turning to Herc, he wasn’t ready to face Eliza yet, “Sorry, I allowed myself to get swept up in the world of politics so much that I did not make time to see you. It was both snobby and shitty and you deserved better than that.”

Herc gave him some finger guns, which settled his nerves slightly.

Then he moved to Lafayette: “I want to say sorry for never coming for you. I know that politically it was the right decision, but I should have come for you anyway. I promised and then I left you. Even if I argued for neutrality against France, I could have taken a break to save you for personal reasons and the fact that I didn’t speaks of my asshole-ness.”

Lafayette gave him a tight smile and forgiving eyes, but he didn’t say a word. Alex couldn’t tell if it was because the other had realized that if Alex were interrupted he might be unable to start again or because Laf did not have the words to reply.

He turned to Angelica: “I have attempted many times to figure out what to say to you, but I never really know. You were the sister I never had, the support system I shouldn’t have taken for granted, yet I did. I can never repay you for being there for Betsy. So, thank you.”

She patted his shoulder and smiled encouragingly. As much as she could let her temper run wild, she could always be the rock he needed and he was so very grateful for her.

Then he found himself face to face with John. For all the speeches he had written for Laurens, when actually faced with the man, he grasped at straws.

“My dear Laurens,” what other way to start was there? “I cannot begin to express how all my words left me when I saw you alive once more. It pained me that I could not be there when you died and that our promise to see the war through together could not be fulfilled.”

He was reverting back to his older form of speech, but he was hardly noticing it: “We have left so much unsaid between us that breaking the silence seems terrifying, yet I hope that one day you can forgive me for not immediately sharing the delight of finding you in this life.”

“I cannot say how this life we’re making for ourselves will pan out.” he added, “The world is different and I cannot yet say if our stories will be, but I hope we can build upon a relation passed and see where the road takes us.”

Laurens took his hand a squeezed it. There were tears in both their eyes and neither said a word as they stayed liked that for a second, before Alex cleared his throat and turned to the last person in the room.

He had written so much for Eliza, but the only thing he could bring himself to say was an apology: “I know I can never apologize enough for all that I did to you, but I want you to know how incredibly sorry I am and how aware I am that I can never truly apologize for everything I have done.”

“It’s okay.” she said, sweet smile on her face, “It wasn’t for a long time, but you are not him anymore and you are still a good man. Finding out you’re poly did explain a lot.”

“Just because I’m poly doesn’t mean cheating is okay, not to mention telling the whole world about it.” Alex interjected, stereotypes were shit, “Being poly is also about communicating, which is every relationship to be honest.”

“I know, dear.” she cut off his verbal essay before it could begin, “What I meant is that it explained how you still looked at me like I was the world, even after everything. And how your eyes would sparkle when you talked about John, while still having the same look for me.”

“Oh.” sometimes he wondered why he was known as eloquent.

She smiled and repeated: “Yeah, oh.”

Herc piped up: “She and John started the POHC after the party. It was kinda sad, but also kinda sweet. We mostly avoided them.”

“Shut up, Herc.” John hissed, blush on his features, while Alex asked: “POHC?”

“Pine Over Hamilton Club.” Herc grinned, it seemed his spying tendencies had turned into a need for gossip.

“Not the point.” Eliza interrupted, also blushing, “We’ll talk about it later, for now, lets focus on the situation at hand. Did Washington know you were going to do this?”

“Yeah,” Alex snorted, “I’m not doing that without consent two times. I’m an idiot, but I’m not stupid, you know. Mama M wanted to push for a lawsuit, but telling someone you will sue them if they breathe a word is about the same as telling them they’re right.”

“That sucks, mon ami.” Lafayette said.

“Tell me about it.” Alex smiled back, “Though we’re still considering pushing a lawsuit when we have the board on our side. I don’t want to dive into it without being registered.”

“You’re going to register?” Angelica asked.

“I have to, Angie.” Alex said, “If I get called for the board then I have proof, and I know they will call on me to explain, so better get it over with. The only reason I haven’t yet is because I didn’t want to do it without asking you guys.”

“Why?”

“Because if I am verified, then Washington will have to be verified and then everyone will look at the two ‘Great Founding Fathers of the United Sates of America’ and by extension everyone near them with a name resembling someone they knew.” Alex explained, “Of course you can avoid it by not being friends with me again, which I totally get and I don’t blame you if you don’t want to be associated with me.”

“Oh non, Alex, I will never let mon petit frére go.” Lafayette hugged him tightly and it was good to be in the mans arms again. He had missed his brother in all but blood.

“Yeah, not cool that you think we’ll drop you again.” Herc scolded him playfully, “We’re cooler than that.”

“I can handle them if they come after me.” Angelica said fiercely.

“And I do not doubt that.” Alex told her, “You are terrifying and I want to be on your good side for the rest of my life, but maybe take some time to think about it.”

She glanced at him and smirked: “I never thought I’d see the day when Alexander Hamilton tells me to pause and think like he was Aa- Oh my god, you have been roommates with Aaron Burr for over a year!”

#RR writing #Hamitlon AU #hamilton #hamilton the musical #alexander hamilton #angelica schuyler #eliza schuyler #john laurens #hercules mulligan #lafayette #marquis de lafayette #I Wrote My Own Deliverance #I Wrote My Own Deliverance Chapter 9 #alex/john/eliza #alex x john x eliza

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whyisnicole · 4 years

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Show Me Your Darkness - Chapter 5

Hey guys! Hope you’re liking the series. It would honestly mean the world if you could lemme know what you’re thinking :) I hope you’re enjoying. Anyways, now time to get into it: The Mission ^.^

Trigger Warnings!

Language, Gore, Intense Scenes, Death

"Comin' up on your six, YN!"

"Got it," you affirm with a shout, ducking down as a stone-faced Frank Castle releases round after round into the criminals once standing in front of you.

As soon as Castle finishes firing off his rounds, you bounce back up as he reloads, catching a glimpse of a red-clad, calculated flipping Daredevil bounding in from overhead.

Locking your sight on the action ahead of you, you focus your energy on one low life at a time, forcing the life from them and moving on as they crumple one by one onto the unforgiving concrete beneath them.

Until there are no more.

Taking a glimpse around the facility, you see equipment that you're sure is meant for processing shipments.

Boxes, some full and some empty, lie around the musky warehouse. What was once an unknown yet fully operational housing facility for trafficking and dealers now stands stagnant; the odor of blood and gunpowder lacing the air and not a trace of life inside aside from you, Frank, and Matt. Silence has begun to take over, and you fix your sight on your two "colleagues" standing in the aftermath of the evenings previous events.

"Well… glad that's over with," Castle scoffs, his speech coming out in more of a winded remark.

"Yeah," Matt chimes in, "About time, too. It's been what, a month of tracking to just get here?"

"Sounds about right. In all honesty I kinda lost track. Feels like it's been years of trying to get these shitheads here." Frank laughs, still slightly bent over with his hands on his knees, coming down from his adrenaline high. But his face quickly morphs from a slight smile into a more confused expression as he looks your way.

"I don't get it," he pondered towards you, drawing your focus from the surrounding atmosphere to him.

"Why don't you just wipe them all out with a wave of your hand or some shit?"

His question wasn't asked in a malicious or belligerent way, he was merely just curious - as was a winded Matt standing aside him, slightly bent over, leaned against a stack of crates in an attempt to catch his breath. They knew how powerful you were to some extent, and they both realized that you more than likely could be a lot more lethal than you were letting on, so it was a constant running question between the two of them as to what you could truly unleash.

They'd ask small questions here and there such as:

"How'd you do that?"

"Why didn't you do this?"

But they'd held off on flat out asking what you were truly capable of. You knew they'd been dying to know, but they'd just been waiting. Either waiting until a better time to ask, or waiting for you to show your true colors yourself. But after the battle tonight, answers were in order.

"Good question," You admit, glancing down at the bodies laying at your feet. You give the settled dust coating the ground a small kick as you cross your arms.

"I guess the short answer is that I'm just… afraid." You didn't want to admit it, but there was simply no other way to put it.

Seeing the confused look from the mask-less hero, and slight downturn of Red's parted lips, you continue.

"It's not like I've had everything mastered and down to a science for decades. I guess uh, I feel like if I focus on a group, if I put all my energy and thought into wiping out a whole bunch of lives at once, I'm worried that I won't just kill the bad ones. I'm scared I won't be able to control who dies, and I can't risk hurting anyone else around me."

Taking a seat on a not so sturdy looking crate, you continue:

" It's easier to fight hand to hand, or even to focus on one or two and wipe them out. I can handle one or two, and I can handle manipulating inanimate objects… But a group of people? I don't know how that would go."

Your sight is trained down on your dirty boots that are dangling a few inches from the blood stained concrete flooring. You suddenly find the rivets in the toes of your shoes the most interesting thing you've seen all night as you press your lips together in anticipation of what the skilled hero's of Hell's Kitchen will think.

These guys are pros - they know what they're doing, they trust their instincts, and they do what has to be done. But now they've just found out that you're purposefully limiting yourself. They've just found out how little trust you have in yourself, and how low your skill-set truly lies.

You're sure that you won't lose them, that they won't simply walk out on you because you aren't doing enough, but the fear of judgement, the single thought of them not wanting to go out on missions with you anymore terrifies you to no end.

You can feel your lungs not taking in enough air as your throat constricts, and your vision begins to go blurry as your ears take on a muffled layer of audio - as if everything you're hearing is being projected to you from underwater.

Yet you remain still as stone, your eyes still trained on the dusty toes of your shoes.

You miss the exchange of almost saddened yet understanding resolve that crosses your friend's features, but through your haze you feel Frank take a seat on the creaking crate that you'd forgotten you were even perched on. You notice his leg just barely come into contact with yours, as if he's not wanting to intrude, but just let you know he's there.

You notice Matt moves to lean against a stack of old, wood pallets stacked to your side, just a few feet away. They know the signs and sounds of panic, no matter how little you may show them.

Matt noticed your elevated heart-rate and breathing, while frank took in the cold sweat gathering across your forehead, and the color draining from your face.

They knew how you felt about touch, loving it sometimes and hating it others, so they kept their distance but still made sure you knew that they weren't going anywhere.

"It makes sense," Frank speaks lowly, his voice calmed and his breath returned back to normal.

"You know, I guess sometimes we just forget that you haven't been doing this all your life. That you haven't always been in control. You're just so great at what you do, it's easy to let it slip sometimes."

Frank's explanation was so genuine, so needed that you didn't know what to do. You were still in the throws of panic, but knowing that they understood pushed a bit of much needed air back into your lungs.

"Yeah, there's no need to feel bad or like you aren't doing enough. Without you, this place would still be running. Without you, there'd be a hell of a lot more crime, more assholes roaming Hell's Kitchen. You're doing your part and more."

Matt added on, sincerity dripping from his words as he turns his body towards you, giving you the knowledge that he meant every single thing he said as his full focus shifted to you.

"Exactly," Frank interjected, voice growing closer and closer to normal as your chocking panic became less and less.

"More than enough is right. Hell, I may not know everything about you, but knowing what I do about where you've come from, the shit hole that you were kept in, hell… I'd love to personally strip any and all of those HYDRA assholes of the worthless life that they still possess." Frank mumbles the last bit, but knew that you'd catch every bit of it.

"But I can't," He continues, "Because you already did that."

Castle finishes with a smile, a smile that spread's to Red's features and even your own face as you look up at Frank and then to the still half-masked hero standing a legs length away from you.

"You okay?" Matt asks, hearing your heart-rate slow back to a reasonable pace.

Giving one last glance to the ground, you relish in the sensation of getting an actual breath in and look back up.

"Yeah," you nod, "I'm good. Thank you."

You weren't much of a talker, and you weren't one to show emotion to just anyone, but you'd had your fair share of moments in front of your perfectly imperfect makeshift family. They knew all of your quirks, the little things that meant a lot, and the actions taking place of the words left unsaid.

Your tight lipped smile meant many different things, but in that moment, the smile you sent towards your two fellow heroes meant pure gratitude - and they knew that.

"Good. Now c'mon," Frank said, his deep, gruff voice now fully functional;

"Let's get out of here. I think a shower is in order."

"Kinky," You smirk, watching with joy at the cringe crossing Castle's face as Matt desperately tried to stifle a laugh.

"God, you're insufferable." Frank sighed, slipping on the strap of his gun, and adjusting it so it stayed in place behind his back.

"Never stop."

"Never can," You smile, taking your place in front of the group, heading out of the musky warehouse.

"Never will," Matt sighed, feigning annoyance but was really full of both satisfaction and ease.

You guys had taken out the baddies, all stayed safe, and had grown significantly closer.

This night was nothing shy of successful.

-------------------

Tag List

@eridanuswave

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mydisenchantedeulogy · 4 years

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The World Looks Red [Keigo Takami/Hawks]

Tag List: @mx-irony

Please read the afternote for more information.

Hate was too strong a word; Aina hated shots, but how she felt about romance was roughly similar. There was no word to exactly describe it. She felt uneasy with the aspect of love; enough said.

This is why – for the second time this week – she turned down her fellow workmate whenever the eccentric young woman tried to set her up on a blind date.

“Oh come on. It’s one itsy bitsy date,” Ikumi stated. She leaned over the teller desk and brushed her long hair behind her ear. “Besides … you may even meet the person you were meant to be with.”

Aina teasingly rolled her eyes. That was the tackiest thing she’d ever heard, but no less true.

These days soulmates were as common as the development of Quirks, albeit the phenomenon hadn’t been around quite as long – give or take fourteen years. The exact cause was unknown, but rumors were that someone in the country of Japan manifested a powerful Emitter-type Quirk and altered humanity.

No one came forward with proof of such claim, so no one really knew for sure. What they did know was that Japan was the only country at this time affected. It swept the island like a plague, and at the young age of eight, the vibrant world Aina knew ceased to exist.

All traces of color washed away. It didn’t necessarily peter out, but those affected by it could no longer see color. It was like a monochrome lens was inserted into each and every eye. Then came the awakening.

A woman in her late thirties claimed that she could still make out colors; her spouse claimed the same. Tests were administered, but to no benefit.

That was nearly three days after the phenomenon occurred, and since then, more and more people regained their loss. Each and every one of them were either married or found that a simple touch helped them see again. The only rationalized theory – Quirk experts believed – was that true love reversed the Quirk.

Bull; utter bull. Aina didn’t believe it to be true. How could people assume that love was fixed? Her parents loved each other very much; neither of them were lucky enough to have their sight returned.

Not to say that it wasn’t true, however. Couples found one another, all claiming to be awakened. The woman Aina worked for was one of them. She found love – years after the death of her husband – and swore the world lit up again.

“Doubt I will ever be that lucky. The boss didn’t meet her soulmate until she was in her late forties,” Aina explained.

The term soulmate was coined by high schoolers. It stuck like glue.

Ikumi snorted. “It’s not like they’re going to just fall into your lap. Go and meet them half way. This bank isn’t the best place to start.”

“Who knows … maybe I will meet them after I leave here. Doesn’t hurt to touch every random guy or girl on the street and hope for the best,” she joked.

Ikumi again snorted.

Now that she thought about it, she didn’t even know why Aina was leaving early in the first place.

“You took a half day, right? How come?”

Aina curled up her nose. “I have an appointment. Flu season; the doctor insists I get a shot.”

Mother insisted actually. She worked at Fukuoka Kinen Hospital. The doctor was a friend of hers and offered to see Aina. However, the only way he could fit her into his schedule was if she took a half day. Aina would have rather avoided it, but her mother was a tough one to negotiate with.

“Tough break,” Ikumi said with a look of pity. “Shots are so annoying.”

Aina nodded in agreement. You can say that again.

She waved goodbye to her friend and left through the bank doors. The outside air was much more refreshing. Aina stretched her arms over her head and yawned. When she opened her eyes, they drifted up to the heavens.

Not being able to see colors really sucked at times. She missed the color green; it was her favorite. The foliage around her house was always so pretty when she was a child. Now it just looked like the rest of the world; grey and bleak. If there was anything to regret, it was the fact she took it all for granted.

“Ma’am … watch out.”

Aina knotted her brows and turned her head to the side. She didn’t notice it before, but someone was running towards her. He was a tall individual with a cowlick in his hair.

Before she understood what was happening, he dashed forward and snatched her by the arm. A gun was pressed to the side of her head as he forced her closer to his chest. That’s when she noticed the police; four of them.

The hell was going on?

“Make a move and I will shoot her,” the man yelled in her ear.

Am I being used as a hostage?

For some reason the hard truth was not sinking in. She never thought she’d be in a situation like this. The man held her close as he shouted at the police. Aina could hardly understand him. Her heart felt like it was beating out of control.

She thought she was going to die.

But, the villain suddenly let out a loud shriek and dropped the gun. In his hand was a red feather. Aina stared at it in shock. She never even thought about running.

How is it that I can see the color?

Before she or the police could even react, the furious man shoved her forward and activated his quirk. Aina felt her entire body lift into the air; tossed with such intensity that her head began to spin. She screamed in fear, but nothing could prevent what had already been done.

She felt like she may be sick. Her sight quickly came back and she glanced down at the street beneath her. Everyone looked so tiny – she realized the gravity of the situation and knew that she might not survive this.

Not wanting to see how fast the pavement was advancing on her, she closed her eyes tight. It was better this way.

A pair of arms slid beneath her own and suddenly she wasn’t falling any more. But how? Another quirk? Aina opened her eyes. What she saw brought tears to her eyes.

Scarlet feathers; they twirled and glided in the sky around her. But how? She didn’t understand any of this.

“They are so beautiful.” Aina had never seen anything so pretty.

A soft laugh brought her to reality again. She now remembered – someone had saved her. There was only one person she knew of in Fukuoka who had wings. Hawks; the number 2 hero.

She glanced back in his direction with the intent to thank him. Tears leaked down her cheeks.

His keen eyes were wide with shock. There was no way he was seeing this. Color ignited in her eyes; so blue and so beautiful. Keigo nearly dropped her as she stared up at his wings. It made him wonder why he could not see anymore than what was being shown to him.

“Who are you?”

Aina felt her face heat up. “I’m … not anyone.”

“Must be someone, for us to have met like this. Like it was fated,” he said with a smile.

She puckered her brow. “Isn’t it your job as a hero? There is nothing fated about it.”

“A skeptic; that’s something.”

Aina nodded in agreement. “It’s a little cliché to me.”

“No doubt about that,” Keigo said. He saw the police arrest the villain and flew down with the intent to set her on the ground. Once she was out of his arms, her eyes faded out. “Have to admit though, it’s nice to see color again.”

Even though her eyes were the only source.

With the ambulance on the way, Keigo knew that his job was done. Yet he couldn’t force himself to leave. He reached out and touched her shoulder just to be sure. Her eyes again ignited with shades of blue and green; colors he could only remember seeing as a small child before he went colorblind.

“Isn’t this something?”

Aina stared at him a minute. The wings behind him faded to grey once he removed his hand. It saddened her a little.

“I guess this means we are soulmates.”

Keigo puckered a brow. “You sound let down. I’m not that bad of a guy.”

“Don’t take it that way,” Aina said in a panic. She brought up her hands in defense. “I just … don’t know how to deal with this. Where do we even go from here?”

He wasn’t sure himself. The idea of love wasn’t something Keigo had even thought about before. He was a pro hero. Love was merely something he thought may have passed him by – until today. It was too soon for him to say, but he could not deny that there was something special about her. She was easy on the eyes too.

Keigo combed back his hair. What to do? He honestly did not want to lose this chance to see color again. “How about diner? My treat, of course.”

Her face again felt warm. Should she? The thought scared her. She did not like change, but the color she saw interested her.

“I suppose. My name is Aina by the way.”

He sat his hands on his sides – a move she often saw heroes do; it made her smile. “Hawks, but you can call me your hero if you like.”

Aina chuckled. Easy on the eyes and able to make her laugh; maybe this wasn’t so bad. She wasn’t totally convinced it was fated, however. Just part of his job. Her being there was just coincidence.

But maybe not. Aina decided that looking at it with an open mind was probably the best idea. For her sake, anyway. She exchanged numbers with Hawks and spoke with him until the ambulance came. Once he was gone, she clutched her phone to her chest and smiled.

Had she really found her soulmate?

A/n: There is a sequel in the works. More Hawks and more Aina.

#my hero academia #hawks x oc #soulmate

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