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#as long as what you're doing still has value to you personally--go for it!
softpine · 1 day
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
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yuri-is-online · 2 days
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Do you have any thoughts on Jabberwock and the ghouls there?
I really enjoyed it! It makes me wonder why the house doesn't allow general students, maybe a risk factor? But if it was a risk factor, why would the school allow general students at all?
Haru's a treat, I really enjoyed meeting him, he seems to also push himself too hard. Do you think his gloved hand is a prosthetic or something similar?
I also ended up warming up to Ren at the end. I can understand why someone would be annoyed with his attitude and general asocial behavior, but I do see things from his perspective, he's like a more moody Kaito in that aspect of "I might be a ghoul, but I'm still just a normal guy. I didn't ask for any of this, I'm not built to go through this kind of stuff" way of thinking. But I also appreciate that he will do something when the going gets tough, as long as he's allowed to complain about it, lol. He has a different way of showing that he actually does care and I do really like that about him.
I also want to see him and his relationship with Towa evolve. I kind of already had a feeling that Towa wasn't a big Ren fan towards the beginning, neither person understands the other it seems, and it makes me want to see what Ren's thoughts are about Towa. Towa calls Ren an interloper, so it's obvious that he doesn't think that Ren belongs there, and Ren would probably agree, but then I remember what Kaito said in the prologue about Jabberwock needed someone grounded, someone to tell them when one of their ideas are kinda dumb or they're doing too much. That's why I also believe that when Ren does become a second year, he won't actually want to transfer houses anymore. I think he'll warm up to the house, Haru and Towa.
My apologies, my plan was to discuss all of Jabberwock but it turned into a Ren rave session!
I also really like Ren, so no worries. If you have more thoughts about all of Jabberwock you can send them my way, you aren't limited in your asks.
A couple things of note~
Jabberwock did have general admission students at one point, Kaito tells us at the school administration only stopped this recently. This makes me think that something occurred during the clash that made them deem the house unsafe, perhaps something to do with Towa since the school feels the need to be "careful with him."
Actually while I am talking about Towa, I have this thought... crack conspiracy theory if you will since I have next to no evidence for it but just hear me out- What if he wasn't always human? Animals becoming human is a common theme in myths, he could have wished on his demon to become human, and if he was maybe some sort of powerful anomalous creature it would explain his ability to "control" them... and why it's different from his stigma which appears to be controlling weather. And why he loves Haru so much! All the anomalous creatures do! And why he eats flowers and why his blood type is unknown and his obsession with romance because he probably finds it a bit silly and why he hugs MC after she says she thinks anomalous animals aren't so different than people and-
Anyway I got Jabberwock in my little dorm test at the beginning (they were always going to be my boys, for better or worse) and during that sorting Hyde specifically says "Interesting, so you value trust, huh? You're caring and loyal in all your endeavors." So when I saw Ren get sorted into Jabberwock that's what I immediately thought about. Ren appears to be filling our gamer/otaku trope in the roster, so seeing him as someone who values trust isn't really hard for me. He probably was thinking about how he wanted people he could be himself with, and while Haru and Towa are certainly out there that's not beyond them to do. If anything they seem like the most accepting people in the whole school, their little group really does feel like a family. It's nice.
I hadn't actually thought much about Haru's gloved hand since one glove on and one glove off isn't exactly uncommon (Ace Trappola Twisted Wonderland only wears one in his school uniform cards) but I went back and checked the available card art in the game just in case I had missed something. Haru always wears two gloves unless he's in his casual outfit, where he has just the one or his sprite after being injured where he has his gloved hand and then his bandaged one. I don't have an sr or ssr of him so I can't set him to my homescreen to check what his Nightmare Raid sprite would be, but since Tohma is still wearing his monocole for that idk if I would say that counts as evidence. It could be that he has a prosthetic of some sort, he is always over working himself so I could see him injuring his hand to the point where he needs one? But I am uncertain if he has one now.
I think a lot of my opinion about Ren and his social aversions sort of comes from my own thinking about my anxiety disorder... simply put it is not healthy for humans to spend as much time alone as Ren is trying to and even if it drains you, you need to push yourself to interact with people face to face. Not just online. It's work, ugly hard work but you have to do it so seeing him interact with Haru and the animals and just try. It makes me so proud of him I really want to see where he goes from here.
I don't think anyone's pointed it out yet, but I think he might know Sho. He refers to him in his thoughts as "that burn out" and constantly hides from interacting with him. He is also VERY AFRAID of the water, specifically sea water, which makes his efforts to save Calamari just that much more admirable. Sure, he complained the whole time, but he fought his own fears to save the life of an animal because he is caring and loyal and god I was so proud of him!!!! Go Ren!!!! I agree that I don't think he'll leave in his second year, he's a lot more "normal" than Haru and Towa are but still just crazy enough to fit in to their little group. They really do need him, and I'm sure he will realize that he needs them too after a while.
Towa has difficulty communicating in general due to his non verbal nature (as a side note, this seems to be tied to time of day. he's been chilling on my homescreen and he stays non verbal until around sometime between 3-5 est??? Which according to my brief google search is around 4-6 am jst... I need to pay closer attention) he seems to try and give flowers to communicate? Of the flowers he has given out, wolfsbane symbolizes misanthropy? "A dislike of human kind" so I think he is using that to say "I don't like you D:<" to Haru when he is chilling injured on the couch. He both calls and gives MC a dandelion, which symbolizes "hope, healing, and resilience" and you could also point out how some people see it as a weed despite it being a very useful plant. And in his homescreen lines he gives MC a five leafed clover (good luck) and cherry blossom petals (death, beauty, and violence). He says he keeps some petals in his memory box? And seems to expect you to eat them so it could be nothing but the idea of him with an angry pout collecting plants just to say "harumph. i don't like you right now ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭" is just too cute.
Back to his and Ren's relationship though, I think he probably sees Ren as annoying in the same way a particularly bratty child does a new younger sibling. It used to just be him and Haru but now there's this new kid that Haru is putting a bunch of time into and that means less time with him! Also it probably doesn't help that he slacks on his chores around the dorm. The book 3 mission seems to have helped bring them together a little bit, so I am looking forward to when we hear from them again.
Because we had better do you hear me game, we had fucking better!!!
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saekkas · 11 months
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𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒
summary: in which someone flirts with them, but they're only looking at you.
includes: isagi, nagi, reo, yukimiya, rin, sae, kunigami, kaiser, karasu, bachira, aiku.
notes: this one's shorter than the one before but still, go wild my loves <3
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐆𝐔𝐘 who values you very much. is the type to be very secure in the relationship; doesn't like any unnecessary drama and is definitely ready to move onto the next stage. wouldn't really care about the other person but will not tolerate having his boundaries crossed. especially when it's clear that he's yours and yours only.
isagi, yukimiya, bachira, nagi.
his eyes are on his phone, feet tapping against the tiles of the cafe. it's a hole in the wall that he's used to frequenting with you, so much that the staff know your orders by heart. the line is short, seats mostly empty, as the rush hour has passed. the rain is pouring against the window beside him, and he taps his finger on the table to their rhythm.
tilting his head, his eyes find you in the middle of the line. you're focused on the menu, your bottom lip between your teeth as you scan the list of food and beverages. it makes him smile, chuckling under his breath because he knows you'll end up getting what you usually do. he gets onto his feet, wallet in hand, when you're finally set to order.
"hi. good morning, how are you?" your sweet voice tickles his ear as he approaches, his heart warm and sated as you go through your usual routine.
"hey." he presses a kiss to your head, wrapping a hand around your waist. his lips trail down, stopping at your cheek, a smile pressed against the skin as he hears you giggle. "what's taking so long?"
the cashier smiles, amused at the sight. "mornin' i'm great. how about you two lovebirds?"
"we're good," he answers for you both, an easy-going expression on his face. he looks down, scrunching his nose at you while you giggle at his answer. "just waiting for this angel to finish ordering."
"we'll have matcha latte, caramel macchiato, and a blueberry cheesecake please. the usual." he tilts his head, looking for your confirmation. he smiles proudly, chest puffing when you nod your head.
"i'll pay," you say as you show your card to the cashier, smiling at her. he chuckles, letting you take the bill this time. "how much will it be?"
the drinks are out in a second, the green and brown a contrast against each other. there are two pairs of utensils on the plate, and he thanks the staff for their work, taking the tray into his hand. "i'll take these to our table first, okay?" he looks over his shoulder, a gentle look in his eye as he processes just how... domestic this all feels.
"yeah, i'll be there in a minute. i need to go to the bathroom." you smile at the cashier one last time, tucking your purse into your bag. you glare playfully, poking your tongue at him. "don't you dare finish the cheesecake before i'm back."
he pokes his tongue back, a laugh breaking loose from his chest. "no promises."
he sits back down, placing the food on the table as he goes back to drumming his fingers. the rain doesn't look as if it'll be stopping any time soon, wind combining with water to shower the earth clean. he looks at his watch, mentally thinking about making dinner later with you. a smile grows at the thought.
there's a shadow in the corner of his eye that he assumes is you. he smiles, ready to lean over and press a kiss, only to stop when his eyes meet a stranger instead. "sorry." he backs away, a furrow in his eyebrow as he looks around, searching for you. "you've got the wrong table."
"no. it's okay. i've definitely got the right table." the stranger lays it thick with a high-pitched tone, and fluttering eyelashes. "hi, handsome. here's my number."
he watches as she slips a piece of paper onto the table, confusion blending into annoyance when she leans over to take his hand. "look," he says with a frown, pushing his hands into his pockets. he's very obviously looking in the direction you went off in. "you've got the wrong table and i'm already with someone."
"ah but i don't see this someone?" the smile on her face is pushing at his limits. his jaw ticks when she moves to sit beside him. "c'mon, handsome. give me a chance."
the bathroom door by the end opens with a creak, and his head snaps at the sound. before she has time to reach over once again, he's quick to swerve away to your side. you're already eyeing the girl at your table with curiosity, your head tilted in question. "hey, who's that? one of your frien-"
he doesn't let you finish. he's quick to reach for your waist, tugging you into a kiss with a hand cupping your cheek. all negative feelings drain from his limbs, turning him into a puddle of love as you thread your fingers into his hair.
"as much as i love your kisses," you say with a gasp of breath as you look up into his eyes, finding love looking back at you through the orbs. "that was a bit sudden. did something happen?"
"not at all." he shakes his head, nuzzling into your nose. his hands are on the side of your neck, lovingly stroking the skin. "not now that you're here."
you look back at your table, seeing it empty, and the girl from before nowhere in sight.
"shall we enjoy our drinks?" he pushes you with the hand he has on your waist. he sits down first before pulling you to sit right beside him, your hands intertwined under the table. "can't wait to eat dinner with you later."
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𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓. he won't say no to playful flirting since it feeds his ego but will only respond if you're somewhere near or in his field of vision. he won't give the other person any of his attention if you aren't. will think it's funny that they're trying their best but will either shoot them down in a way that crushes their pride or brush them off as if they don't exist.
reo, aiku, karasu, kaiser.
the bass is thrumming against his skull, a tune that doesn't fit the mall's calm and serene energy. he's sitting on one of those plush sofas in a clothing store outlet, tapping his fingers against his thigh as he waits for you to finish changing. he feels the warning glare the manager's sending, and he snorts as if trying to go into the dressing room with you is a crime. he would be so much more satisfied with you between four cramped walls than in the wide space where people are obviously gawking at him.
"excuse me." someone calls his name timidly, and he cocks his head towards them, wanting to see where this goes. they send him a smile, one that's too teethy and falsely sweet but hey he can't fault them for not flashing his favorite smile; they aren't you after all.
"yes?" his reply is short and blunt, but he sighs when the girl flinches away. you've always said that his resting face looked too mean. he chuckles at the thought.
shaking himself out of his daydream, he shows his best smile. he leans back, arm stretched out against the back of the couch as he adjusts his pose, manspreading. a peacock, you'd once muse when he first did it in front of you. he watches with thinly veiled boredom in his eyes, a juxtaposition to the sickeningly sweet smile on his lips. "can i help you with something?"
the girl flushes, biting her lip and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. being coy, he realizes with an amused scoff.
"sorry to bother you. it's just- you looked so bored. i thought i could entertain you."
his eyebrow quirks at the word entertain, tilting his head in mock curiosity. "and how would you do that, hm?" he takes her in, taking in her choice of clothing and hairstyle. cute he'd give that much to her. nothing like you, though. she couldn't compare.
he realizes belatedly that the once over was seen differently than what he meant for it to come across. amusement flickers in his eyes when she flushes a bright red, fidgeting on her spot. "you do this often?" he tilts his head, eyes half-lidded, trying to gauge her reaction. "flirting with random strangers in the mall of a hobby, eh?"
"just the handsome ones," she says with a giggle. he watches as she points a finger to the row of clothes, her interest clear as day. "how about we look around? buy some clothes or jewelry so we match."
he chuckles, shaking his head at the thought. he can't wait to tell you about this. right on cue, the door to your dressing room opens, and you step out. his breath gets stuck in his throat, his eyes widening, and a grin making its way to his lips.
the black dress you have on is nothing short of stunning. it tapers off to your knees, the material hugging your curves. he sends you an eager look, one which you giggle at. you turn, showing him the back of the dress, keeping eye contact as you do. his mouth falls and thoughts short circuit as his eyes rake down your bare back, stopping just before your bum.
oh the things he'll do to you in that dress. no wonder the manager was so adamant on not letting him join in on the fun.
"nah," he says distractedly at the girl still waiting for his response. he sends you a wink and a flirty smile, mouthing one moment, before turning back to her. "see that gorgeous specimen right there? yeah i'm hers."
"she and i, we match." his eyes are filled with mischief as he tugs his shirt down, showing off the collection of marks you left on him last night. the skin around his collarbone is red, purple, and bruised. littered with love bites. a symbol of your love he thinks smugly. "see?"
there's pride blooming in his chest, a smug smile forming on his face the moment her eyes widen and the color drains from her face. "i'm not interested in anyone who's not her. so scram." he's quick to wave her away, skipping over to tug you back into the fitting room, this time with him in it.
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𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐂𝐄, the type to literally not care at all. will not give them time of day and will appear hostile if necessary. but he'll mostly just look at them, expressionless with dead eyes.
sae, rin, kunigami
there are so many options to choose from, he frowns, glaring at the row of refrigerators stacked next to each other as if they've done something wrong. the supermarket is relatively busy, customers ranging from middle schoolers to elderly. he's in the drink section, passing one fridge to another, looking for your favorite drink from outside the glass, his frowning reflection looking back at him.
you're somewhere in the dairy section, picking out pints of ice cream, and who knows what else. he checks his phone, checking for any new messages from you. i'll head over soon, after i find the popcorn, it reads along with multiple hearts and photos of you smiling beside the ice cream. he shakes his head, tapping a finger against the screen to save the photos.
he pockets his phone, ready to move on to the next isle when he bumps into someone. he huffs, his eyes looking at the girl that's staring right back at him.
"really?" she says with a flirty giggle after she gets a clear look at his face. he remains stoic, hands in his pocket, even as she nudges him on the shoulder as if a longtime friend. "you're handsome but if you don't say sorry when you bump into someone, they'll lose interest. but maybe that's your charm."
he moves to slight past her, not at all caring about her presence, but before he knows it, she's stuck a hand into his back pocket, sending a kiss playfully before bounding over somewhere he doesn't give a damn about. the frown on his lips deepens, but before he has the chance to look into his pocket, you pop up right beside him.
"hey, i can't find the drinks but i've got everything else." he hears you say as you show him your basket full of things, smiling up at him. there are all kinds of things in the basket, ranging from chocolate, popcorn, ice cream, sausages, and many more. tonight is monthly movie night and he tries to shake off the weird encounter from his mind, not wanting to dampen the mood.
he smiles back, leaning down to take the basket from you. the hoodie you have on is his, and it dwarves you. the hem reaches your knees, and he can't see your hands which makes him chuckle all the while more. you told him that you were cold, he knows it's just another excuse to wear his hoodie.
"let's go home." he ruffles a hand through your hair, affection getting the best of him, before taking your hand with his other.
he drops the basket on the self-checkout counter, and helps you scan all the necessary items. he eyes the chupa-chups by the counter and grabs two, strawberry and cola, scanning both and handing them for you to choose. he chuckles when you brighten, choosing the strawberry for yourself.
"i'll take the bags." he takes both bags into his left hand, the other placing itself on your back. he leads you out, shaking his head in amusement when he feels you slip your hand into his back pocket.
"hey what's this?" the tone of your voice has him frowning. "i didn't know you smoke. it's bad for you, ya know?"
looking down at the cigarette in your hand, he eyes the scribble of numbers surrounding the stick. ah that's what she slipped in, he sighs. taking the cigarette from you, he's quick to throw it to the ground, crushing it with his foot.
"i don't," he chuckles at the look of disbelief on your face. leaning in, he plucks the candy from your mouth, pressing a kiss and pushing his tongue in. you taste sweet from the candy he notes, you smell like ice cream too. he's quick to pull back, chuckling when he realizes just how flustered you've become.
"i prefer sweets," he says with a smug smile before popping the candy into his own mouth.
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vetyr · 13 days
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hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT
Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.
When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.
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I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.
Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.
For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.
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Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.
The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!
It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.
I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).
Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)
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gucciwins · 5 months
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Y/N just wants Harry to like her.
Word count: 5964
A/N: Friends!!!!! I am sorry to have disappeared but I am back. Yes, I am aware this is a Halloween/October story but you're getting it now mid November (that has been going by fast). I won't work on any holiday stories because I have no idea what to write. So if you have an idea and want me to write it feel free to shoot me an ask.
Now happy reading! I love you
+
Many people go to work ready to return home, but not Y/N. No, she walks in every day with a smile and a pep in her step. She greets her coworkers by name and occasionally brings baked goods she knows everyone will enjoy. Y/N loves her job, and she’s happy to go every day.
Y/N went from working in a job she hated because it was filled with men constantly belittling her and gaslighting her that she was doing her job wrong when she was actually excelling. It all got to be too much, and Y/N decided to quit. Thank goodness she did because soon into her job search, she received an email from Carla Crain asking her if she’d be interested in joining her company. Y/N went to the interview, and after basically being pitched her dream job, she accepted and entered as head engineer. 
She’d be lying if she wasn’t nervous starting, but the people Carla had hired all shared the same values on work and life. Y/N knew she’d be in safe hands. The company is small but slowly growing. It allows for every employee to get to know each other and everyone to remember that together, they can be successful. Y/N had been at the job for two years and, with time, brought new coworkers. 
There is Estrella, who loves to talk to you about astrology, ironically enough. She states that the invisible string theory is real and that if everyone tracked it, they would notice just how small the world is. 
Carmy has a tough exterior, but once anyone gets him talking, he never stops. He loves chatting about his family and his pet Pitbull named Daisy. 
Maeve is petite, and every other month comes in with a new color in their hair. Y/N enjoys it when everyone in the office places bets on what it will be. 
Tatum is from Scotland and loves to remind everyone when they all go out for drinks on the weekend. 
Chessy is the only one who works remotely, but when she comes in, she is always laughing in the office. They also all get a basket of fresh fruit and vegetables from her garden. 
Overall, Y/N knows she had the best coworkers and wouldn’t change her job for the world, but as their company grows, so does the need in their team. The newest hire is Harry Styles, who has come in as a computer technician to help develop their website and also help with any internal security. Honestly, all she knew was that it was a complex job. 
Harry was on the quiet side. She tried to start conversations with him, but he always seemed to brush her off. At first, Y/N wondered if she should take it personally but soon learned he did that to everyone. Even though he didn’t open up to them, they still invited Harry to join them. 
The thing was, he rejected all their dinners. Y/N loved going to a Korean BBQ Maeve introduced them to, and Harry claimed not to eat meat (not that she didn’t think it wasn’t true. Chessy was vegetarian, after all.) They would go to a bar and share a few drinks when they knew they would all be having a long weekend off. Harry always claimed he had an early morning. It didn't matter if they offered to meet earlier. Y/N’s favorite nights were trivia nights that happened at a local brewery. Y/N was a beat, especially in history. Harry declined, and this one hurt her the most.
 Everyone would ask Harry to join. 
Karaoke. Can’t hold a tune.
Bowling. Too loud. 
It seems there was an excuse for everything.
Everyone began to stop inviting him out, and while Y/N didn’t enjoy being told no, she would send notes to the office with the time and place of what they would be doing. She’d always keep an eye on the door, but Y/N went home disappointed each time.
The thing was, Y/N was determined to make a friend out of Harry. She soon learned large public settings must be overwhelming for him and decided to find a new way to approach him. Everyone took lunch at the same time in the office except for Harry. Sometimes, they all ate at the sub shop across the street. Most times, Y/N brought food from home, and she cooked. While she liked eating out, Y/N preferred a home-cooked meal. She caught Harry taking his lunch half an hour later than her and used that to her advantage. 
They had a conference that always remained empty as everyone preferred the main lounge. Harry went in there every day for his lunch hour. One day, Y/N walks in, smiles at him, and sits as far away as she can. She made sure to only be there for ten minutes. The next day, she stayed for twenty and wished him a nice lunch when she left.  
Slowly, Harry begins to spare her glances, but Y/N keeps to herself until the day she sits across from him. 
“Hi, Harry. Is it okay for me to sit here?” 
No answer. 
“I’m going to take that as a yes.” 
He fidgets with his fork. 
“I saw a lime bike out front. Did you ride that today?” 
Harry looks at her briefly before staring back at his plate. 
“I’ve always wanted to try one, but I’m honestly scared of being hit by a car. Chessy lets me ride hers when I go down to visit her. She’s got beautiful trails. You’d probably enjoy it.” 
Y/N thinks that’s enough for today and excuses herself. She doesn’t realize Harry noticed she didn’t take a bite of her lunch. When she goes back to her desk after using the restroom, she finds three chocolate chip cookies sitting on her desk. Y/N rushes to try one, doesn’t even think of who delivered them or that a green-eyed man was standing right outside waiting to hear her reaction. 
With time, it seems Harry is coming to appreciate Y/N’s presence. He has never expressed it, but she knows because he nods when he agrees to something she says or tightens the hold on his fork when Y/N shares something upsetting. Y/N had not gotten more than two words out of him. At this point, Y/N felt like Harry knew everything about her; all she knew was that he had the most beautiful eyes, and his hair always looked soft. 
One day, after many lunches together, she finds Harry reading a book. Y/N knows he might want quiet, but her curiosity gets the best of her. 
“Any good?”
Harry looks up and grimaces. “Think it’s really boring.” 
Y/N laughs because she wasn’t expecting that response. “Then put it down.” 
He shakes his head. “Don’t like not knowing the ending.”
Y/N shrugs, “if you don’t like a book, I wouldn’t put myself through the torture of it all. Skip to the end if you're curious.” She understands she spoke too much and excuses herself. 
The next day, Harry is sitting in his usual spot, but this time, a new book is in his hand. Y/N bites back a smile. 
“What’s this one about?”
“My sister recommended it,” he defends. 
Y/N isn’t halted by his harsh tone. “What’s it about?” 
“Well, it’s Pride and Prejudice.” He shows her the book cover. 
“Like the movie?” Y/N asks.
Harry laughs, and Y/N feels successful. His laughter rings in her ears. It’s a lovely sound, and she wishes to hear it more. “Yeah…I like the movie.” 
“Me too,” she gushes. “Do you think I’d like the book?”
He frowns, “if you like Jane Austen.” 
“Might have to pick it up next time I’m in the shops.”
+
Their interactions are solely during their lunches but sometimes spills out during work. Y/N seemed to have an issue with her computer and radioed IT. She needed to submit her document, but her desktop appeared to freeze whenever she opened a new file. Harry knocked on her door, and she welcomed him in. Y/N explained the issue, and Harry was quick to get to work. It was only a few minutes when she noticed that her document was open and her computer wasn’t having a meltdown.
“Thank you so much, Harry!” Y/N cheers, knowing he saved her. 
Harry shrugs because it’s his job. “You have a nice photo.” He’s pointing to her picture frame on her desk. It’s a picture of her and a dog in Iceland at the end of her hike. It was taken back when she was nineteen years old. 
“Thank you. I took that on my first solo trip.” She bites her lip, hoping Harry takes the bait. 
“Where to?” He asks curiously. 
She silently cheers, “Iceland.”
“Is that your dog?” 
“I actually found him mid-hike and took him back with me. I hoped to see his owner on the trail, but there was no luck. He didn’t even seem worried. Once I returned to the car park, his owner was there. After that hike, I decided I liked the company of a dog and returned home to adopt Tutter, a Jack Russel Terrier who loves to play fetch.”
“Why isn’t Tutter on your desk?” 
Y/N feels her face flush, “now, don’t be mean. I love my son, but that trip taught me I can do anything I set my mind to, whether alone or with company.”
Harry gives her the slightest smile. “I-I learned Italian because I always dreamed of having an Italian home.”
Y/N’s eyes brighten. Harry is opening up to her, and instead of pushing, she offers more of herself. “I’ve dreamed of visiting. The Amalfi coast is my dream to swim in. Silly, I know,” she brushes off, trying to downplay her excitement. 
Harry doesn’t let her. “You’ll make it.”
He finally excuses himself. Y/N is happy for the rest of the day because she realizes Harry is allowing her in.
+
September means the preparations for Halloween have begun. It starts with little things, from coasters and mugs to the occasional treat. One day, a tiny spider sits on his desk for a second. Harry believed it was real until it began to glow purple. Harry kept it on his desk next to his sticky notes. He doesn't do anything about it; there’s no need. By the second week, the office is entirely decorated. Harry admits a few decorations have scared him, especially the skeleton in the corner of the restroom.
It’s a quiet day when he’s walking by the break room on his way to the secluded office to have lunch when he hears people talking. Harry pauses because he hears Y/N’s voice mixed in with everyone else. 
“But it seems like he doesn’t like us,” Harry hears quietly. 
“It’s hard,” Y/N defends. “You’re all extroverts. It can be overwhelming.” 
Harry knows she’s trying for them to understand.
“But Carla is all about unity in the office. This is a concern.”
“It’s not, Carmy.” Y/N shuts him down, clearly upset she had to defend him.
Harry decides he’s heard enough and decides to eat lunch alone in his car. He’s thankful it was a sandwich and nothing he had to heat up. For the entire lunch and the rest of the day, all he thinks about are the words of his coworkers. 
Y/N looked for Harry, excited to talk about a book she started, but Harry was nowhere to be found. She wouldn’t have been concerned, but it’s clear no one saw him since before lunch. She wishes Harry could confide in her even if a fraction of what she shares with him/ 
The next day, everyone walks into the office at their usual time, everyone making their rounds together to the break room to prepare their coffees and store their lunch in the fridge. When Y/N walks in, she sees her coworkers huddled around the table and peeks around them to see what has captured their attention. There on the table is a box of Halloween cookies from a bakery uptown with a note attached. 
Enjoy - HS
Y/N lets a smile take over her face. She knew Harry cared about them but understood why he finally did something. She tells her coworkers they owe him an apology, and they all agree. Y/N makes sure to head to Harry’s office and thank him for the cookies. Harry tells her it’s nothing. She bounces away to her office, where Estrella, Carmy, Maeve, and Tatum are standing outside her door. 
“Can you come with us? Feel like he likes you.” Tatum tells her. 
Y/N sighs and tells them to follow her. Once again, she knocks on his door, and they all file in when he welcomes her in. Harry looks at them confused. 
“Uh, is there an issue?” Harry asks, concerned. 
Carmy starts, “we want to apologize if you overheard us yesterday.” 
“Right,” Harry sighs, knowing it might be a good time to share with them. If he trusted Y/N and she trusted them, he knew he could also start to. 
“It was wrong of us,” Maeve continues. “Y/N raves about how smart and nice you are, but we don’t get to see that. We’re sorry.” 
Everyone else repeats the sentiment while Harry looks at Y/N, who offers him an encouraging smile. She must know his anxiety is through the roof. 
Harry takes a deep breath, “right, uh.” He looks down at his shoes, untied lace on his black Adidas. “I struggle with social anxiety and new environments. It’s better than when I was a kid, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed even more when being the new guy.” 
“No worries. We get that,” Tatum expresses. “Estrella gets bad migraines.” 
“Don’t air other people’s personal stuff,” Y/N reminds them. 
“We’re sorry,” they offered one last time. “Thanks for the cookies.” 
After that, they hurried out while Y/N stayed behind. 
“I wanted to apologize,” he begins.
“You don’t–” Harry cuts her off. “You’ve made me feel comfortable.”
Y/N sighs, letting her shoulders drop. “Not enough, it seems.” 
“It can just be too much sometimes.”
“I-I get panic attacks.” Y/N shares, surprising herself. “When I overwhelm myself, it can happen. It’s uncommon and has not happened at work, but I understand.” 
“Thank you for sharing,” Harry tells her honestly. “Lunch?” 
“See you in a bit then.”
+
Through September, Y/N and Harry have lunch together every day. They read together, Harry more into classic literature, and Y/N loving to devour a juicy romance that has her pausing every few minutes, trying her best not to scream because the love interest brushed hands. Some days, Y/N will do a sudoku game while Harry does the daily crossword. Y/N likes to solve the Wordle of the day and most times asks Harry for help if she fears she might not get it. Some days, Y/N brings in her laptop during lunch because she is behind and needs to catch up. Harry reminds her to relax. He knows it’s easier said than done, so he tells her about the book he’s reading or asks about her dog and the snacks he eats. 
Before she knows if they’ve made it to October. One of the best months of the year. Y/N loves planning events, and this is one she wishes Harry would say yes to. She knocks on his office door, and Harry freezes, staring at his computer screen. He glances at the calendar; it's the first Monday of the month, and Harry knows they’ve planned a fun event. 
Harry is practicing his excuse when Y/N walks in with a bright smile, wearing a “Great Pumpkin” shirt with Snoopy and Charlie Brown. She has told him it’s her favorite movie to watch during the month and “The Conjuring” Harry wasn’t sure how the sweetest girl he knew could handle a horror film like that. He had told her she was fearless.
“Hi, Y/N, pretty shirt.” 
Y/N looks down at it as if she had forgotten what she was wearing. She beams at his compliment. “Thank you, Harry!” 
Harry asks how her day is going and shares how there was traffic on the way down and how she didn’t have time to stop by her favorite coffee shop because there was a line out the door. “Pumpkin spice isn’t even that good, H. I mean, it’s okay, but I wanted my coffee.”
He laughs at her pouting and promises to make her one during lunch. She perks up at his mention of their shared time together. 
“Speaking of our time together. We plan to go to a haunted pumpkin patch in the next town over if you want to join us. It’s two weeks from now, so it's the 21st.” Harry could hear the excitement in her voice and didn’t think he could say no to her.
“Everyone is going?”
“We invited everyone, but only Carmy, Estella, Maeve, Tatum, and myself are going. Carla was not for it. Dan is warming up to us but still says no. Though he did agree for trivia next week.”
Before he can stop himself, he says, “yes.”
“You will?” Y/N answers surprised. 
“Mhm…uh, it sounds like fun,” he says unconvincingly.
Y/N’s smile brightens, “I’m not hung on haunts, but they’ve got amazing apple cider you’ve got to try with me.” 
“Happy to join,” he tells her honestly. “Let me know the ticket cost or if we need to purchase our own.”
She nods eagerly. It’s clear Harry has just made her day. 
+
The day comes faster than he’s ready, and while a part of him is excited, Harry feels his nerves will get the best of him. Y/N had told them no one was dressing up in costume and even went as far as to send him a photo of her outfit to assure him she wasn’t playing a joke with him. She was wearing bell bottoms with a Mickey Mouse in a pumpkin shirt. She told him it was his favorite to wear each year. 
Harry knew it would be cold, so he wore a simple Halloween shirt in his closet and loose-fitting jeans. His jacket in his car he knew would keep him warm throughout the night. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone (only Y/N) but also wanted to look nice outside of the office for once. When Harry parked, Y/N told him she’d wait by the entrance for him, and he couldn’t miss her as she had a cute pumpkin headband on.
It seemed Y/N spotted him, too, because she rushed towards him. “Hi, Harry,” she greeted with a cheery smile.
“Hi, you look lovely,” he offered her a small compliment that made his hands sweat.
“You’re too sweet. Come on, we were waiting on you.” She grabs his hand and pulls him along to where everyone else is. 
Everyone offers their greeting, and he receives a few compliments on his tame outfit. It’s an old Halloween shirt he got at a vintage shop in New Orleans five years ago. His sister went on a trip and asked him to join. Harry could never say no to her. 
Harry notices everyone begins to drift off into conversations, but Y/N stays by his side. He takes the time to admire her as she looks around at all the decorations. There are a lot of people, but it seems they are heading to the pumpkin patch. There are stalls selling sweet treats, and he keeps in mind to buy Y/N a cider, remembering she mentioned loving it. Harry has always thought being in a relationship to be intimidating. He loves love but struggles to put himself out there, to allow someone else to get to know him, but here is Y/N, who managed to worm her way into his life, knocking down all of his walls. 
Harry likes Y/N.
It’s something he took a long time to figure out, but when he realized the excitement of seeing her each morning, he looked forward to it. He let it consume him, but he had no idea if she could feel the same way. 
“Did you drive here, Harry?” Y/N asks, breaking their silence. 
“I did,” he answers. 
“Do you think you could maybe take me home?” She brushes her hair out of her face. “I came with Tatum, but she’s been wanting to take the time to connect with Estella, if you know what I mean,” Y/N gestures to them kissing on hay bales. 
Harry had no idea that there were feelings between them. “I can do that, Y/N.” 
“Great!” She cheers gratefully. “I owe you an apple cider, then.” 
Y/N eagerly walks them to the stand, and before she can pay for both, Harry slips the kind older lady a twenty walking away with their drinks. Y/N stays behind, shocked, but quickly catches up, pouting at Harry. “Harry, I was going to pay.”
He shook his head, “my mum would have my head if I let you pay.”
Y/N bends her head, careful to take a sip of the warm drink. “Well, thank you.”
Maeve bounces over to them. “Hi beauties, we’re ready to start if you all are.” 
Harry eyes Y/N, waiting to see her response. Y/N offers her friend a large grin, and Harry agrees he’s ready. He throws away their ups, and once he finds Y/N with the group, he slithers to stand behind her. Y/N offers him a tense smile as the group tries to decide who will lead. 
“I can go in front,” Harry offers, sensing no one wanting to make the first move. Everyone thanks him and heads to the first maze. Y/N informs him it’s once based on the catacombs in France. 
“There’s a movie based on the catacombs,” Y/N shares as they walk together.
“As Above So Below,” Harry says. “It spooked me.” 
“You’ve seen it,” she laughs, holding onto his arm for a second, unable to contain her excitement. “It’s one of my favorites.”
“It’s a good one,” he agrees. 
They fall into silence as the chatter of their coworker fills the air. Harry sees Y/N get fidgety, but she’s smiling as she leads the way to the short line. “I’m actually really nervous,” she tells Harry. 
“We’ll be fine. I got you,” he assures Y/N.
Harry extends his hand, and she accepts it. He intertwines their fingers and pulls her along as the line moves slowly. Y/N does her best not to think about the feeling of his hand, but it fits perfectly between hers. She feels her hand begin to sweat and wants to pull it away, but Harry has a firm grip on her. 
“Is it okay?” Harry nods, gesturing to their hands. 
“Safe, uh, I feel safe.”
The worker asks how many, and Y/N peeks behind Harry to tell her six. Harry is grateful Y/N knows when to take charge because while he can lead a scary maze and knows everyone is dressed in costumes, he still feels nervous speaking to strangers. Harry squeezes her hand once in thanks. She gives him two quick squeezes in return.
Harry guides them in. Y/N lets go of his hand to hide behind Harry, her hands on his shoulder as she peeks behind him. There is a group ahead where she can hear the people in front screaming, which allows her to prepare for the scare, if that is even possible. 
Her eyes widen in amazement as she takes in the darkness of the building. Everything is covered in black cloth. She can see the spots where actors will jump out. Y/N mumbles an apology to Harry for holding on to him tight. Estella is behind her, screaming at everything that moves. Harry steps through the curtain, and she feels her hold on him loosen. As she is stepping closer to reach him, a man screams in her face, making her rush forward and propel Harry into a wall. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Y/N apologized repeatedly as Harry rushed them to finish the maze. She felt her heartbeat in her throat and knew she needed to calm down. One look at Harry, and he rushed her to a dark corner, not concerned about their friends. 
“Y/N? I’m okay. You’re okay.” Harry tried assuring her.
She repeated it in her head. They were okay. They got out of the dumb maze, and Harry wasn’t hurt. It took her a few minutes to realize she had a panic attack. Y/N had not even felt it coming and didn’t think a haunted house would trip her into one, but with all the overthinking she had been doing, it made sense it led to this.
“I’m sorry, Harry.” Y/N bashfully looks away from him. She can’t believe she embarrassed herself in front of him like this. 
“No apologies,” he brushes her off and doesn’t ask her any questions, only to ensure she is okay. 
They rejoin the group after ten minutes by the looks of everyone's sympathetic smiles. She knows they saw her freak out, but they’re her friends. She knows she’s in safe hands with everyone, especially Harry.
“What’s the next maze?” Y/N asks cheerfully. 
And so they continue on. 
The next maze is much smoother than the first. Carmy leads, tucking Harry and Y/N in the middle with Tatum and Estella in the back. That order seems to comfort Y/N for the next few mazes. Each worker makes her scream but then falls into giggles when Harry traces comforting shapes on her hand. It takes her mind off these scarers trying to get her to scream and instead focus on the gentle touches of her crush. 
While doing the mazes is fun, Y/N is soaking up talking to Harry in line. They’re in a new environment where they do not need to discuss work. She feels free to ask him anything, but sometimes she is unsure where to start. Y/N doesn’t know if she wants to hear about his weekend plans or ask him about his favorite movie or who his favorite Muppet character is? 
Talking to Maeve and everyone else is easy because she’s gone out with them. She knows them personally, but with Harry, he always kept that guard up, and now she’s unsure what to do if he decides to keep it up. 
To her surprise, Harry always starts the conversation with her. Harry shares about a new show he started watching and how it makes him anxious for the main character when they do something out of character. When he asks Y/N if there is a show she recommends, her mind goes blank, and the first thing that comes to mind is “Fleabag.” 
“It’s the saddest but most comforting show I have ever seen,” Y/N gushes. 
“With Phoebe Waller-Bridge?” 
“Mhmm…the second season has Andrew Scott. Irish treasure.” 
“Paul Mescal,” he adds. 
“Hozier.” 
“Saoirse Ronan,” they say in unison before falling into fits of giggles. 
“You’ve got taste, Styles.” 
“As do you.” 
The line moves, and they change conversations to talk about the best musicals they’ve seen. Y/N swears “Waitress” is the best thing created, but Harry tells her “Moulin Rouge” is his favorite. Y/N loves how easily the conversation with Harry seems to flow. He feels like a long-lost friend. Someone who once was in her life has now found his way back to her. 
Not only is he getting along with her, but everyone is getting to see the Harry she had come to know. The one who makes cheesy jokes and loves to hear every detail of the story being told. It turns out he and Maeve frequent the same record store. There’s a Stevie Nicks vinyl Harry is on the hunt for, and Maeve promised to keep an eye out for him. Tatum learns Harry can play guitar and asks him to show them sometime. Something he agreed to with pink cheeks. Y/N knew tonight was a big step for Harry, and she was glad everyone made him feel comfortable.
As the night was coming to an end, the maze lines got shorter, and the more Y/N screamed. It made her laugh right after, but still not her favorite part of the night. Before the cold can settle in, they all call it a midnight night. Tatum and Estella head out hand in hand. Y/N can’t wait for the details of that on Monday. Carmy is telling Harry a story, so Maeve uses the opportunity to remind Y/N to make a move.
“It’s now or never, girlfriend.” 
Y/N rolls her eyes, “please don’t pressure me on this.” 
“Y/N that man is, head over heels for you. If I was antisocial this is not an event I would ever do. Unless someone I fancied asked.” 
Y/N toes her food in the sand and, in a low voice, asks, “do you really think he likes me?” 
Maeve smiles, brushing Y/N’s hair out of her eyes. “That man lit up every time your eyes were on him. I don’t know Harry as well as you do, but I can notice a guy with a crush from miles away. Trust me on this.” 
Y/N backs down, relaxing, “okay.” 
“Good. Now text me when you get home. Carmy’s got me.” Maeve gives her a tight hug and then pulls Carmy away from Harry. 
He walks over to her with a shy smile on his face. “Have a good time?” 
“The best,” she tells him. “Though I might need another apple cider. Think my heart needs it.”
“By all means, lead the way.” 
After getting one last warm apple cider, they reach Harry’s car. It’s an electric car because he’s conscious of his environmental impact and knows one person can go a long way into the future. Harry opens Y/N’s car door and waits until he sees her seated and buckled to close her door. As he gets ready to drive off, he turns on the heater, knowing if he’s cold, Y/N must be too. 
The car ride starts off quietly, Y/N guiding him every so often when to make a turn. Y/N sees her favorite coffee shop and knows she is almost home. “That was fun,” Harry starts. “I’m happy I went.” 
“Mhmm…it was a good time. Glad you joined us,” she tells him honestly. 
Harry notices at a red light that she’s fidgeting with her hands and thinks he might still be cold. “Do you need me to turn up the heater?” 
Y/N shakes her head, “no, sorry, I’m fine.” 
Harry drives down a few more streets when Y/N tells him to turn left. “It’s the third one on the right.” 
He parks right outside her driveway. From here, he can see her decorations hung up. It’s decorated charmingly. It’s clear no scaring would happen here. She’s got two pumpkins outside her door. One has stars carved all around; the other is a cat on a witch’s broom. Bat lights are hanging up the railing of the steps. She even has a few inflatables. His favorite has to be the one of Mickey Mouse as a vampire.
“Thank you for driving me home. I appreciated it.” She smiles at him, and he returns it. Harry gets out of the car and opens her door. 
“Let me walk you up.” 
Y/N feels her cheeks burn and leads the way. 
“We’re planning trivia soon,” Y/N says, testing the waters. 
“Hmm…only if you’re on my team.” 
“We would all be on the same team,” his flirting going over her head.
Harry’s face turns pink, “uh, right.” 
She laughs, placing her hand on his bicep. “Only joking.”
Y/N pulls him in, whispering good night, except when she pulls away, she locks eyes with his emerald eyes, and it’s like she’s in a trance. She feels herself leaning in closer, and before she knows it, Y/N presses her lips to Harry in an airy kiss.
She pulls back, shocked. “Sorry,” she breathed out. “I-I should have asked.” 
“Ask me,” he pleads. 
“What?” Y/N isn’t sure if she heard him correctly. 
Harry doesn’t care anymore. He raises his hand to rest on her cheeks. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?” 
She feels how close he is. She can feel his breath mixing with hers. “Yes.” 
When their lips meet, Y/N swears she feels time stop. Harry is starting slow as he begins to learn what she likes.  Y/N places a hand on his chest, needing to have a secure hold as she feels him take her breath away. Her emotions are all over the place. His lips are smooth as they move against hers in a dance that feels like they’ve done a hundred times before. Harry deepens the kiss, pushing her up against the door, making Y/N grab a fistful of his shirt, not wanting him to pull away. Y/N lets herself get wrapped up in all her feelings because she knows that a kiss this special means it won’t be her only one, and she finally allows all her feelings to pour into the kiss. 
Y/N isn’t sure how long they spent kissing outside her door. It seems she’s lost track of time since she got a taste of Harry. “I don’t want you to go,” she mutters against his lips when she feels him begin to pull away.
“I’ll see you Monday,” he promises. 
“Too far.
Harry laughs, “you can call me tomorrow when you wake up.” Knowing she likes to sleep in, he would rather not wake her up. 
“Okay,” she whispers in defeat. 
“Good night,” Harry takes a step back. 
Y/N bites her lip and gives him a wave. “Do you want a kiss goodbye?” 
Harry can’t say no.
+
Monday morning, Y/N walks in with a large smile. It makes everyone stop and stare. She makes her rounds, wishing everyone a good morning, and saves Harry for last. 
“Hi, Harry.” She chirps. 
“Morning,” he answers timidly. 
Y/N pouts because he didn’t even look at her. She wanted to see his beautiful eyes. “So I was thinking…” she trails off. 
Harry turns, giving her his undivided attention, and Y/N’s smile widens. “How does a date sound to you?”
“A date?” He echoes. 
“With me,” she giggles.
“Best thing I've heard all day.”
Y/N claps her hands together, “wonderful.” 
“How does this weekend sound?” 
“Too far,” she teases. “Saturday?” 
“I’ll pick you up,” he promises. 
“Good. Good.” Y/N lingers by his door. 
“Yes, love?” 
Y/N feels her cheeks heat up but doesn’t look away from him. “Are we still on for lunch?” 
Harry gives her a dimpled grin, “I’ve got a new book for us to discuss.” 
Y/N tells him she can’t wait and walks away. Harry watches her go, and as if she can feel his stare on her, she turns around and gives him a wink. Harry knows he’s way in over his head with someone as amazing as Y/N, but he can’t wait to prove each day to her how much he deserves to be with her.
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shipwreckie · 6 days
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long (like ridiculously long) rant about watcher entertainment
Whilst the vast majority of the response to the watcher drama has been negative I still have seen a few people expressing opinions along the lines of ‘oh its just $6’  ‘shouldn't creators be paid for their work’ etc. I also think this situation is getting a lot of attention from people who don't necessarily watch Watcher, or haven’t keep up with them in years so here is my breakdown of why people are unhappy with the announcement that Watcher will be putting ALL upcoming content behind a $6 a month streaming service (with the exception of the premiere episode of each season going to Youtube.) 
The issue is not that it's $6.
The success of other internet companies like dropout and smosh is proof people are willing to pay for content they enjoy and to support independent content creators. I personally have given money to kickstarters, patreons, digital downloads etc in the past. But I do that because I know I’m valued as a fan with and without my money. I still get access to content on youtube for free. Even Dropout, who is a much larger and more expensive operation than Watcher, releasing 5 show a week, still maintains a steady Youtube presence.
The thing with these internet companies is they can be successful in creating something but they do have to understand that you are on the internet. You're not netflix or HBO or hulu or whatever. Watcher’s obsession with creating ‘television-calibre content’ worth $6 a month whilst also only having one show a week is unrealistic. They want to be independent creators but also television producers… but you’re not!  They hate being youtubers so much but YOU ARE. That’s how you gained a fanbase in the first place and you were successful at it! If you’re not happy being a youtuber that’s fine, move on and do something else. But you can’t expect it to be funded by the fans. So many famous artists create content they care less about that has a larger audience, and that in turn funds the stuff they DO care about. If you’re so dedicated to making expensive, high-quality productions you should be using these smaller cheaper shows to save money and fund them, rather than forcing everyone of your fans to pay a monthly subscription fee that I’m sorry, just isnt worth it or is simply unaffordable for the majority of your audience who you have now essentially told aren’t welcome or valued by you. And which one is it? 
Such a large percentage of your audience are casual viewers too. Why cut out that completely? What fans are you expecting to follow you to this ? Your most dedicated fans are there because they like Ryan and Shane, so why not push that? Are you trying to appeal to your fans or are you trying to make the content you want. There’s no clear creative direction that makes sense with this move and that’s why people aren’t supporting you. 
Also I’m sorry but how can we suddenly trust the content is gonna improve once we start funding it when there’s already been so many missteps both in their content and their business. Look at how many fans have said Ghost Files and Mystery Files have started feeling phoned in. Their patreon has been mismanaged for years, they barely promote it and the perks on there aren't really worth it (but they have 6000 paying members because people can and do want to support them!). They go months having barely any merch. There are ways to make money on youtube, they’re just not doing it well . 
And I’m sorry. But there is just absolutely no reason to have 25 employees. Shows like Survival mode should be cheap and easy to produce, and help bring in money to support larger ventures like ghost files. So why are there 18 people credited for a video of you playing Minecraft? And of course I don’t want people to lose their jobs. But continuing with this is going to cause EVERYONE to lose their jobs regardless. 
They also barely have a plan for their new content. People watch for Ryan and Shane, you KNOW THAT. So why is your first new big show hiring the worth it boys and doing a globe-trotting, crazily expensive show. Are you even really expanding your content if you’re still sticking to a one-video-a-week schedule with no present plan to change that? They have a survey for subscribers to vote which past show to bring back, but there’s obviously a major budget difference between filming something like Weird Wonderful World and something like SD&D&D… or at least there should be but there isn't when you employ 20 people to make one video. There’s such a clear lack of thought put into it that makes me even less likely to want to support. 
I want to say that they probably expected a negative backlash and thought they could just wait it out… but did they? Because WHY did they hype this up like it was an insane new announcement fans would go wild for. WHY do this several days before you have live shows where you let fans ask questions live to your faces? So much of this roll out makes absolutely no sense and makes Ryan, Shane, and Steve look so ridiculously out-of-touch with their fanbase, which only makes fans feel even less supportive. 
I think their defenders think we want to see Watcher crash and burn but the majority of us don't. I want them to be successful but this isn't the way to do it and I truly do believe it’s going to ruin their company. Unfortunately as much as I love them, I wont be supporting them. 
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literaryavenger · 5 months
Text
I love you and I hate it - part 2
Summary: After your fight with Bucky, you put all your efforts into avoiding him, convinced that your friendship is over. Bucky, however, has other plans.
Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Warnings: Reader being dramatic. Angst. Language maybe. Minimal use of Y/N. Fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.
Word Count: 4.5K
A/N: I promise I didn't mean to make it this long, but I couldn't help myself, again, and I didn't want to end on another 'cliffhanger' so here it is! hope you like it!
Part 1
Masterlist
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Bucky can't believe what he just heard... You like him?
No, you used the word ‘love’. You love him.
Do you love him?
Certainly, he would’ve noticed if you did... Right? He is a trained assassin, he was taught how to see beyond people’s words and actions.
And he knows you, you can deny it all you want, but he knows you better than anyone. He knows you better than he knows himself.
And if he’s being honest, you know him better than anyone ever has, Steve included.
You feel safe, you feel calm. You feel like the peace he’s always wanted, the quiet he needs.
You feel like home. In a platonic way, of course.
Right?
His thoughts of you are interrupted by Sharon’s voice. He didn’t even realize he was back at the party.
"Where did you go?" she asks and, suddenly, her grip on his arm was just a little too tight for his liking. But it was probably nothing.
"I went to check if Y/N was okay."
"Oh." something in her voice felt wrong, but Bucky tried to ignore it, that is until what she said next.
"Why would you even care about her? All she does is embarrass you like before. She’s useful to no one, I heard the only reason she’s even on the team is because she slept her way to it." she laughed like it was the funniest thought in the world, and Bucky couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Not only was she saying hurtful, untrue things about his girl, but she has the audacity to laugh at her own cruelty?
"How dare you?" he does his best not to yell, but his tone still startles Sharon. "Y/N is the best agent in all of Shield, that’s why she got in the team! She’s not an embarrassment, she’s a valued member of our family and she’s my best friend! Of course I care about her, she’s the most important person in my life! Don’t ever talk about her that way again."
Sharon seems shocked at his words but, looking around, she realizes people are starting to stare so she tries her best to defuse the situation. "Alright, I’m sorry, I won’t say things like that again. Let’s just calm down and have a nice rest of the evening, ok?"
In his head Bucky knew her request was reasonable, he could forget about this and keep having fun with his girlfriend. But in his heart he just knew he couldn’t let it go.
The words were coming out of his mouth before he can stop them, not that he even wants to.
"You know what, Sharon? This isn’t working. We have to break up." He doesn’t even give her a chance to say anything before he’s turning around and making his way to his room.
Meanwhile, on the roof, Steve’s trying to talk you down the ledge. Metaphorically speaking, obviously. 
"He hates me, Steve." you can't stop the tears.
"Stop saying that, sweetheart, he doesn’t hate you."
"You saw what happened at the party, the way he looked at me. And he heard me say that I love him and walked away like it was nothing." You sniffle. "If he didn’t hate me before, this certainly pushed him off the edge."
Steve has nothing to say to that, he knows Bucky doesn't hate you, but he also knows that you’re too stubborn to hear any reason, especially not right now when you're in the eye of the tornado and can't see a way out.
Right now you need a friend and shoulder to cry on, usually Bucky would take on that role, but, given the circumstances, Steve decides to step up and be that friend.
He wraps his arms around your crying body and holds you as you let it all out. Neither of you say anything else, the only sounds in the dark of the night being your sobs, until eventually you calm down and after a few moments of silence Steve glances down to see you fell asleep. 
Not wanting to wake you he carefully picks you up and makes his way to the elevator.
When he gets to the floor you both reside in he finds Sam and Natasha chatting at the kitchen counter, probably about to go to bed after coming up from the party.
Sam gives him a confused look, while Nat seems to understand what is going on right away as she moves without saying a word, walking ahead of Steve towards your room.
She opens the door for him and walks in behind, moving the covers back as he lays you on your bed as carefully as he can, and then Nat delicately takes your heels off before covering you with the duvet.
As they’re leaving your room the door opposite yours opens, revealing a hopeful Bucky but when he sees it’s not you, his face becomes stoic once again. He’s about to ask where you are when Natasha beats him to the punch.
"Leave her alone, Barnes. You’ve hurt her enough already." Is all she says before she steps into her own bedroom.
Bucky looks to his best friend for help but, at his confused face, the blonde super soldier just shakes his head in disappointment and walks away without a word.
Bucky stands there for a few minutes, just staring at your door like he's gonna will you to open it and talk to him.
He sighs and goes back to his room where he spends the next few hours overthinking about you and this whole night, eventually falling into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning when you wake up you feel at peace for about 10 seconds before the events of last night hit you like a truck, and all you can feel is humiliation.
How can you face the team after they witnessed your fight with Bucky?
How can you face Steve after he saw you at your most vulnerable and, apparently, carried you to bed after you cried yourself to sleep?
How can you face Bucky after he heard you say you love him and he walked away from you?
You can’t, that’s the answer.
Should you just move out? Just quit the team, ask Hill to be reassigned? Maybe you could even get transferred to another country...
You’re not overreacting, right? This is a very embarrassing situation and you have every right to want to run away from all of it.
As you’re making up an escape plan in your mind you hear a knock on your door, followed by Steve’s voice. "Hey, are you awake? We just want to make sure you're okay…"
You try to be as silent as you can, slowing down your breathing praying he’ll think you’re sleeping.
You can hear him exchange some muffled words with what sounds like Natasha, and then you hear their footsteps as they walk away, so you let out a relieved sigh.
Okay, step one is definitely getting out of this room, it’s just the most obvious place where to look for you.
You get up and out of your awfully classy dress, take a shower being sure to clean away all the makeup from last night and put on the most comfortable sweats you own.
Just as you’re opening the door you can see Bucky opening his about to get out and, in a panic move, you run back inside your room and slam the door shut.
Very subtle, yes.
You rest your back against the door and can hear him sigh and then walk away.
You wait a few minutes, just to be sure, and then relax a little. Your plan was to go to the gym and work out a bit, but now all you can think about is getting the hell out of this compound.
You grab your purse, make sure to have your phone and keys in it and open the door, making sure no one’s around before getting out.
You’re practically running, taking the stairs for good measure, and in a flash you’re at the garage. You jump in your car and drive away as fast as you can without breaking the law, not even knowing where to go.
Once you’re in the city you stop at a cafe for breakfast near your favorite book store, the one you and Bucky have visited together a hundred times.
Okay, stop that. No more thinking about Bucky.
You spend the rest of the day just going from one store to the other, stopping to have lunch at the diner you always go to when you’re in the city, and trying not to kick yourself for not being able to stop thinking about Bucky.
Seriously, why can’t you stop thinking about him?
It doesn’t help the fact that every one of your favorite places has at least a hundred and twelve memories of Bucky.
God, have you ever gone anywhere on your own in the last two years?
The more memories come to mind the more you think that maybe transferring wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Go somewhere new, get a fresh start.
When it starts getting dark you decide to drive back to the compound, but when you park and turn the car off you can’t find it in yourself to get out.
You take out your phone, which you’ve been ignoring all day, and go through all the messages of your worried friends, hating yourself a little more when you catch yourself looking for his name in your notifications.
Just as you’re about to answer Tony’s texts first, you get a call from Steve. You stare at your phone, unsure if you can stomach answering him right now, but your decision is rendered moot when someone taps against your car window.
Your head snaps towards it and you let out a breath of relief when you see Steve standing there, holding his phone and using it to tap on your window again.
You close your eyes for a second but resign to your fate as you gather your things and get out of the car.
When you lock your car you turn to see that Steve moved to be leaning on the trunk of your car, so you join him and wait for him to say something, not knowing what to say yourself.
"So," he starts, with his arm folded in front of his chest and looking at his shoes "you’re avoiding all of us now?" You let out a sigh, feeling bad for hurting his feelings.
"I’m sorry, Steve. I just…" you can’t even look at him as you talk, so you just look ahead of you at all the cars "I’m just embarrassed. After everything that happened last night, I don’t know… God, you even carried me to bed like a child." you cover your face with your hands.
You finally look at him when you hear him chuckling. "That’s what friends do, Y/N. They lean on each other." he bumps your shoulder with his playfully.
"I know we’re not as close as you and Bucky, but I am your friend too. I’m not gonna judge you for last night, I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s what we all want. You made us worry that you might run away on us." He says the last part as a joke, but you can’t help looking away from him.
That’s exactly what you wanted to do.
You bite your lip as he keeps looking at you and you feel like he can see the gears turning in your head, like your thoughts are so loud and your guilt so visible that he knows right away he was right on the money.
"Y/N…" it’s almost a warning, but you still can’t find the courage to look at him. "You were seriously thinking of running away?!" he seems almost shocked.
"Okay, it’s not like I’m a teenager running away in the middle of the night after a fight with her parents!" you finally look at him. "I was just considering… I don’t know, maybe asking for a transfer?"
"So you actually want to leave the team just because you had a fight with Bucky?" He scoffs.
"It’s not just the fight, Steve, he knows I love him and he doesn’t even care!" You yell before sighing and lovering your voice.
"Do you realize how much that hurts? And now I’m supposed to, what? Just go back to how things used to be? Pretend like nothing happened? Even if we’re not friends anymore, he lives across the hall from me! I’m bound to see him and it’s gonna hurt every fucking time!" You’re almost crying, again, but you hold back not wanting to go through that again and you look away.
"I know it hurts, trust me, sweetheart, but… what about us?" you look at him again as he goes on. "We’re your team too. We’re your friends, we’re your family... You can’t just leave us. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but we can help you make it better. We all care about you a lot." It’s honestly a miracle you’re not crying already. You feel him take your hand, but don’t look away from his face.
"Please let us help you." you squeeze his hand and nod, not trusting your voice not to break and the flood to hit as soon as you open your mouth.
He smiles at you and you can’t help but do the same. "Good. Then let’s go up and have dinner like we always do." He starts walking and taking you with him, his hand still in yours.
While you’re waiting for the elevator you can’t hold yourself back as you turn to him and give him a tight hug. "Thank you."
He hugs you back just as tight. "Anytime, rookie." you snort and let go of him, giving him a punch in the arm you’re sure he didn’t even feel as he laughs with you.
When you get to the big kitchen most of the team is already there and you sit down next to Natasha while Steve sits at her other side.
The seat next to you is quickly occupied by Sam as he bings the pizza to the table. He gives you a side hug and squeezes your arm in sympathy but aside from that nobody even mentioned what happened last night, which you're grateful for.
You eat like always, having conversations, laughing and teasing each other like normal, you didn’t feel like anyone was pitying you and you realized Steve was right: these people are your family, you could never leave them.
And, as you watch Loki and Peter trying to make you laugh by messing with Thor’s hair, putting tiny umbrellas in it while he's not looking, you just know they’re gonna help you through everything.
What makes you sad to notice is that one brooding super soldier is missing, though you don’t bring it up for fear of opening that particular door.
And that’s how you spend the next few weeks: avoiding anything and everything that has to do with Bucky, including the man himself.
You start training with Natasha and realize how easy Bucky went on you.
You do more missions with Sam and Steve and realize that missions aren't as fun for everybody as they were for you and Bucky.
You hang out during your down time with pretty much everyone and realize that you couldn’t have as much fun with everyone as you had with Bucky.
So yeah, as much as you could avoid Bucky and talking about him to anybody, he lived rent free in your head.
Fun, huh?
It also didn’t help the look that Steve gave you every time you basically ran out of a room as soon as you caught a glimpse of your former best friend. 
Everybody noticed the change in your friendship, but it felt like they all took a silent oath to not mention anything to either of you, and you were glad they were respecting your choice to stay away from Bucky.
He, on the other hand, was going crazy.
He hasn’t seen you in weeks, except for those few seconds before you realize he’s in the same room and run away.
He doesn’t hear your voice unless he’s eavesdropping on you with someone else, but even then he never hears his name come out of your mouth.
Nobody will tell him anything about you, the only thing he can get out of Steve is ‘she’s okay, just give her time’.
He’s been trying his best to give you the space you need, but he feels like he’ll lose his mind if he doesn’t hear you say his name soon.
It’s been a month of successfully and not so subtly avoiding Bucky.
There was one time where, as the team about to land for a mission, he got much too close to you for your liking and you thought he was about to say something so you grabbed a parachute and quite literally jumped out the jet, then walked the rest of the way to the Hydra base.
Everyone had to wait for you, some annoyed, but most found the situation too amusing to be bothered by it.
Anyway. 
You’re at the gym for an early morning workout, a habit you took to when you started avoiding Bucky.
You know he usually stays up at night. Occasionally because he still gets nightmares, usually because his overthinking mind tortures him until early hours. So he uses mornings to sleep in when he doesn’t have missions.
You’re on the treadmill when you hear the doors of the gym open behind you but think nothing of it, assuming it’s just Steve replacing his morning run with a workout because it’s too hot to run outside.
When you don’t hear him say anything, you’re about to turn your head to see who it is, but before you can do anything you feel two hands, one cold and one hot, on your waist.
You squeal when they pick you up and take you away from the treadmill, setting you down on the ground in front of it before turning off the machine.
"Bucky, what the fuck?! I could’ve gotten hurt!" you were so shocked you didn’t even fully realize you were actually talking to the person you’ve spent so much time and effort avoiding, or that you were walking backwards while Bucky was getting closer to you.
"Oh please, I’d never let you get hurt." he’s sounds almost amused, like this is a normal thing between you two, but the truth is he’s just happy that you’re actually talking to him.
When your back hits the wall you realize too late that it’s Bucky in front of you and suddenly you’re looking around you to find a way to escape. But all you find is that he’s successfully trapped you between the wall and his body, his hands on the wall at either side of your head.
You swallow hard and if he notices he doesn’t say anything, but your brain is too busy registering the warmth of his body so close to yours to even be ashamed right now.
"Is this the only way I’ll get to talk to you now?" you almost miss his question, your eyes snapping up to meet his and, where you expected to see a smug look at having caught you not only off guard but also ogling, you found a frown and a slight pout.
Something about the hurt on his face stopped you from lying or straight up kicking him so he’d move and you could run away.
No, Bucky was your best friend, you’ve always felt the need to be honest with him ever since that first day, and even now you owe it to him to tell him nothing but the truth.
"I just need time." You hoped he understood.
"How much more time do you need?" Apparently not.
"I don’t know, can’t you just be patient?" You can't believe you really have to ask him this.
"It’s been a month, doll, I think I’ve been plenty patient. Are you planning on avoiding me forever?"
"Not forever… just… I don’t know." If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know how long you would’ve kept on avoiding him.
You were so busy doing the actual avoiding that you didn’t take the time to think about when you’d be able to stop.
You let out a sigh, but didn’t look away from his eyes for a second. He needs to know you meant every word you're about to say. "I was hurting, Bucky. I still am. I get that you have a girlfriend-"
"I broke up with her." he interrupts you.
"You… What?" you weren’t expecting that. "When?"
"The night of our fight. I would’ve told you sooner but it was hard to catch you, you know, with you avoiding me and everything."
You almost lost your train of thought, but it didn’t matter that he was single, he was still the first one to walk away, why was it so wrong for you to do it now?
"It doesn’t matter… I know you don’t owe me anything, but you walked away from me. From my feelings." you can see Bucky’s confusion so, before he can say anything, you explain yourself.
"That night on the roof. I know you were there, you heard me say that I loved you and you walked away like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. I know you don’t like me like that, and I can live with that in time, but it hurt. It still hurts." you don’t know what you were expecting him to say, but it definitely wasn’t he says next.
"Do you remember the day we met?" you furrow your brows in confusion but he waits for you to nod before he keeps going. "We’ve never really talked about it, have we? It's ironic since we’ve talked about pretty much every topic we could possibly come up with. But that day, you introduced yourself and I just got up and walked away. Kind of what you’ve been doing this past few weeks."  he chuckles a bit and you have the impression he's getting closer to your face, but you're probably just imagining that.
"Yeah, I thought I did something wrong, but you were just a rude bitch." he laughs and you can’t help but smile.
"I’m sorry about that, I just… the second I saw you I felt weird. And when you talked to me it was too much, I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know what I was feeling and my brain just screamed at me to get out, so I did. Then you came to my door and said all those nice things and that weird feeling started to feel more and more comfortable as you talked. It was nice. Then we became friends and I guess I just dismissed that feeling as friendship. It was a different type of friendship that I’d never had... But then again I’ve never been this close to a woman. Emotionally speaking, of course." His hand comes to cup your cheek and you can’t speak, so he takes the opportunity to say everything he needs to say.
"This month has been hell for me, doll. I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anybody in my entire life. Not being able to spend time with you, joke around, talk to you, barely even see you. It's been driving me insane. Being away from you for so long made me realize what that feeling was. You’re not just my best friend, you’re my person. You’re my calm, and my reason. You’re my happiness, my home. You’re the love of my life."
"What?" you're basically whispering, so quietly you’re sure he wouldn’t have heard you if he didn’t have super hearing.
"I love you too, doll. I love you." he holds your face in his hands "I love you."
You feel like your brain shut down all of a sudden. You barely know how to breathe, let alone talk. All you can do is stare at him, the look he's giving you making you weak in the knees.
"You’re killing me here, doll. For the love of god, say something, angel." The nickname seems to snap you out of it, and there's only one thing in your mind left to ask.
"If you love me, why didn’t you tell me on the roof?" He let out a deep sigh, you can feel his breath on your lips, but you try your hardest to focus on his words and not his lips.
"For one I was still with Sharon. And I didn’t really know what I was feeling. Also, I wasn’t even sure you were serious. Honestly, I was just confused about the whole thing, and still mad about the fight. Nothing good would’ve come from me staying and talking to you that night. I probably would’ve ended up hurting you more." All that makes a lot of sense, sure, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt.
The look in Bucky’s face at the moment though makes you want to forgive him right this second and let this whole thing go. Pretend like the last month didn’t happen. 
So that’s what you do.
"What if…" you start, looking back and forth between his eyes and his lips "what if we forget all of this happened?"
"No." he answered so fast and firmly that it made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and disappointment. "I don’t want to forget anything about us, doll. Good or bad, it’s all worth it, as long as it ends with you in my arms."
You're melting and can't hold yourself back, you grab his face and bring his lips down to yours.
He freezes, probably not expecting it, but when you're about to pull away, he holds your face to keep you there, deepening the kiss.
After a few moments you hear someone clear their throat and almost throw Bucky off of you, looking behind him while he turns to see who it is and you see Steve and Sam standing there, amused looks on their faces.
"We were just talking." You blurted out and Sam cracked and almost doubled over with laughter.
"Really?" Steve said while raising an eyebrow, almost exasperated and knowing damn well what you were doing.
"Sure they were, Steve, she was obviously trying to get the word out of his mouth!" Sam said to the blonde, still laughing his ass off.
"Oh, of course she was. Tell us, sweetheart, what did you find in Bucky’s mouth?" Steve was now laughing too, and you were so embarrassed you hid your face in Bucky’s chest.
He wrapped his arms around you, barely glaring at the two laughing idiots. "Ok, just get out of here, punks." Fortunately for once in their lives they decided to actually listen and left, their laughs echoing through the halls.
"You okay there, doll?" Bucky was now chuckling at your embarrassment.
You raised your head and, meeting his eyes, you said "I can’t believe Captain Dumbass is making fun of us for kissing."
He started laughing and you gladly joined him, looking forward to making up for the time you missed with him, unknowingly promising each other to never let go of the other ever again.
taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @spookyparadisesheep @scott-loki-barnes @pattiemac1 @emerald-writes @sapphirebarnes
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marshmellowzz · 1 year
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HIII! I wanna be the first one to request on your blog(I hope I am😭😭) YOU DIDNT HAVE IN YOUR RULES,HOW MANY CHARACTERS YOU CAN REQUEST AT THE SAME TIME BUT I'D LOVE TO HAVE KISSING HEADCANONS(female reader) WITH MUZAN,GYUTARO,DOUMA AND AKAZA!! Thank youu :))
Uppermoon Kissing Headcannons 💞
A/N- Hi anon!!! I'm really sorry about the character request limit thing, I'll fix that right away. and yes! you are the first person to request, thank you lovely! i had a lot of fun with this request! I really hope you like it <3 (^з^)-☆Chu!!
Muzan:
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Very rarely gets romantic with you, but oh boy when he does...
Muzan is a megalomaniac, he has a very inflated ego and a delusional sense of self worth, he sees no value in any life other than his own, so naturally, he even surprised himself when he took interest in a human—a lowly being like yourself. You are EXTREMELY lucky that you even caught his attention, and because of that he feels that he is entitled to you, he is your ultimate superior, your god, you should be groveling at his feet and thanking him for bestowing his affection onto you. From the very moment his eyes set on you, your fate was sealed.
Even so, he is a man that you've come to love, and because he's had many wives in the past he is extremely adept, and he knows exactly how to get you head over heels in love with him.
He is a traditional kisser, he's more into deep, heavy kisses to show intimacy. Although sometimes his kisses seem more demanding and rough. In short, he wants to show you what he really wants - he wants you to be his.
You are always left breathless and flustered no matter how many times he kisses you.
It gives him great pleasure to watch you gasp and pant as you desperately try to catch your breath. It makes him feel empowered, as he could go on for hours and he'd still be okay.
He'd probably be the one to initiate the kisses, that sense of superiority and need to exert power in any situation shines through in your relationship, he will kiss you when he wants to kiss you, and that's final.
Whenever he's in the mood he'd grab your cheeks and pull your face closer to his, until eventually your lips are feverishly against each other.
He'd grab your hips and pull you closer to get rid of any distance between you two, he wouldn't be very touchy-feely, but if he's in the frame of mind he'd be more teasing — squeezing your ass, rubbing his hands along your waist and hips, fondling with your breasts, etc.
Although he doesn't really like PDA, he is a very possessive man, and will sometimes bring you to meetings and kiss you in front of his subordinates to make clear that your his, and his alone.
Gyutaro:
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His behavior would initially be extremely hesitant. He would pull away from you, insult you, mock you, whatever he could do to scare you away.
He would be very convinced that you were trying to tease him or were making fun of him.
Gyutaro is not very fond of himself. He usually compares himself to others and greatly envies/despises those who are fortunate or possess things that he longs for. Standing next to Daki, he has grown accustomed to being the unattractive sibling -- he just never imagined being loved the way you love him.
Daki doesn't help the situation very much either, she'd probably be reinforcing Gyutaro's thoughts of himself, she'd be like "Big brother, don't kid yourself! Y/n's probably just messin' with you!"
The truth is that he doesn't understand why you like him. He thinks it's silly when you compliment or lean in for a kiss, it's hard for him to accept that you're attracted to him, and at times he thinks you're trying to 'save him' or 'bless him'.
"Your pity doesn't matter to me, stupid girl."
Yeah...It'll be hard to convince him that you truly like him, and he probably wouldn't show you much affection initially.
After some time, he will grow to love your touch and kisses, even if they are small. It gives him comfort to know that you are not bothered by his appearance.
Gyutaro is more sloppy when he's kissing you, he completely abandons any rhyme or reason and simply lets his body take control.
He's newer to kissing so he might be a lil' inexperienced and inconsistent (please be patient with him he's trying 😭)
Sometimes he'll miss your mouth and plant a kiss on your cheek instead, he plays it off well, most times you don't even notice.
Gyutaro's kisses are more gentle and relaxed, he values a passionate kiss more than a harsh one.
It's difficult for him to express his tenderness, so he appreciates it when you initiate the kiss.
He's a sucker for knuckle and hand kisses. He has cold hands and he gets really blushy when you kiss his knuckles or try to warm up his hands.
The reason Gyutaro prefers small pecks and short kisses is not only because he finds them most comfortable, but also because he also struggles to commit to a long and sensual kiss because he is afraid you'll leave him and abandon the relationship you two have built.
If you want him to settle in and feel comfortable, you'll need to give him a lot of reassurance. At times he will pull himself away or withdraw from any affection; he does not believe someone like himself is worthy of your touch or your gentleness.
He likes PDA but only because you're something he can show off, you are like a boost of self-esteem for his emotionally-constipated-self, he likes to flaunt that even someone like him managed to bag a diamond like you.
Gyutaro loves cuddling and kissing, he loves being able to hold you close to him and just all around touching you, he's a very touch-starved individual—he will seize any opportunity he gets to feel your skin against his.
Douma:
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Oh goodness...
Douma is definitely the most affectionate among them, which is ironic because under his carefree and outwardly friendly air the man is clinically apathetic, the concept of emotions being completely foreign to him, his love for you would be more of a source of amusement for him—something that he can play and toy with.
The only reason he kept you alive was because he found you pretty and grew quite fond of you.
Let's start off by saying that...Douma has zero concept for personal space, like...none.
He's always holding you, he loves placing you on his lap and just kissing you as he pleases.
His kisses come in wide variety and he gets very unpredictable at times.
For example, sometimes Douma places light and feathery kisses on your face, gently peppering them all over your face. Just cute small pecks!
He'll probably wait about ten minutes before jumping you and pulling you into a slow and savory kiss, the kind that always leaves you breathless.
Like, what happened to 'hello'? 'how are you'? 'my name is...'? what happened to that...?
He's extremely handsy as well, whether it's gently cradling your cheeks, his hands running down your inner thighs, or simply cupping your breasts in his hands. He just can't keep his hands off of you, you're too adorable!
He's very flirtatious and he loves to tease you, he just loves to see you get flustered or embarrassed.
"What's wrong, dearest? Cat got your tongue?"
Douma's favorite type of kiss would definitely be the French kiss, he likes the tongue work involved, he loves the sensation of his tongue on yours and he feels that it is very intimate.
Douma completely spoils you rotten, he buys you tons of chapstick flavors and colorful lipsticks and then kisses you to test which one tastes the best.
If you think he only does this in private then you are sorely mistaken.
In uppermoon meetings, Douma may just spontaneously invite you to a steamy make-out session just to annoy the rest of the group.
He's a sucker for PDA, he isn't jealous, he just wants to show you off. You are one of his most polished gems, and there's just no way he's going to keep you hidden from the world, he wants everybody to see your beauty.
Akaza:
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He's probably the most appropriate and sensual with his kisses.
Akaza would also be hesitant with kissing. He is not a gentle man in the slightest, and he cherishes strength and takes pride in it. However, emotionally, as much as he wants to deny it, he is weak.
Akaza also has a weak spot for women, he'd like to tell himself that he doesn't eat them because they're simply helpless beings, but in reality the man cannot bring himself to harm them.
Generally, Akaza's kisses are deep and meaningful, his kisses have a lot of raw emotion behind them, and he doesn't just pass them around like they're charity.
It takes him an extremely long time to trust, he believes that showing love also showcases vulnerability, and he needs to be sure that you're going to be as committed as he is.
Although, once he falls, he falls HARD.
His kisses are a good representation of that. Akaza doesn't mind quick pecks, but he isn't a huge fan of them, he prefers to draw out his kisses for as long as he can. He lets his lips linger on yours, his arms tenderly wrapping around your body as he pulls you close enough that your foreheads lightly bump against each other.
He's a firm believer that the lips is the most intimate spot to kiss, he likes to kiss you there the most, and he likes it when you do the same for him. He wants to let you know that only you have access to that spot, and that you've gained a permanent spot in his heart.
Akaza is not one for PDA, he dislikes it and often avoids doing even the littlest things like holding hands or quick kisses in front of anybody. He feels that those are reserved for when you two are in the privacy of each others company. Not only that, but because he has an image he needs to maintain.
Akaza isn't unnecessarily handsy, but he's not afraid to get all touchy-feely with you.
Akaza also quite enjoys forehead kisses, he thinks it's a good way to show care, and affection. He uses it as a way to tell you 'I've gotcha,' or 'you're safe here,'.
An all around very sweet kisser! He uses it as a way to express how much he loves you without saying it out-loud.
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How to Tell If That Post of Advice Is AI Bullshit
Right, I wasn't going to write more on this, but every time I block an obvious AI-driven blog, five more clutter up the tags. So this is my current (April 2024) advice on how to spot AI posts passing themselves off as useful writing advice.
No Personality - Look up a long-running writing blog, you'll notice most people try to make their posts engaging and coming from a personal perspective. We do this because we're writers and, well, we want to convey a sense of ourselves to our readers. A lot of AI posts are straight-forward - no sense of an actual person writing them, no variation in tone or text.
No Examples - No attempts to show how pieces of advice would work in a story, or cite a work where you could see it in action. An AI post might tell you to describe a person by highlighting two or three features, and that's great, but it's hard to figure out how that works without an example.
Short, Unhelpful Definitions - A lot of what I've seen amount to two or three-sentence listicles. 'When you want to write foreshadowing, include a hint of what you want foreshadowed in an earlier chapter.' Cool beans, could've figured that out myself.
SEO/AI Prompt Language Included - I've seen way too many posts start with "this post is about..." or "now we will discuss..." or "in this post we will..." in every single blog. This language is meant to catch a search engine or is ChatGPT reframing the prompt question. It's not a natural way of writing a post for the average tumblr user.
Oddly Clinical Language - Right, I'm calling out that post that tried to give advice on writing gay characters that called us "homosexuals" the entire time. That's a generative machine trying to stay within certain parameters, not an actual person who knows that's not a word you'd use unless you were trying to be insulting or dunking on your own gay ass in the funniest way possible.
Too Perfect - Most generative AI does not make mistakes (this is how many a student gets caught trying to use it to cheat). You can find ways to make it sound more natural and have it make mistakes, but that takes time and effort, and neither of those are really a factor in these posts. They also tend to have really polished graphics and use the same format every time.
Maximized Tags (That Are Pointless) - Anyone who uses more than 10 one-word tags is a cop. Okay, fine, I'm joking, but there's a minimal amount of tags that are actually useful when promoting a post. More tags are not going to get a post noticed by the algorithm, there is no algorithm. Not everyone has to use their tags to make snarky comments, but if your tags look like a spambot, I'm gonna assume you're a spambot.
No Reblogs From The Rest of Writblr - I'm always finding new Writblr folks who have been around for awhile, but every real person I've seen reblogs posts from other people. We've all got other stuff to do, I'm writing this blog to help others and so are they, the whole point of tumblr is to pass along something you think is great.
While you'll probably see some variation in the future - as people get wise to obviously generated text, they'll try to make it look less generated - but overall, there's still going to be tells to when something is fake.
I don't have any real advice for what to do about this (other than block those blogs, which is what I do). Like most AI bullshit, I suspect most of these blogs are just another grift, attempting to build large follower counts to leverage or sell something to in the future. They may progress past these tattletale features, but I'm still going to block them when I see them. I don't see any value in writing advice compiled from the work of better writers who put the effort in when I can just go find those writers myself.
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BOO! 👻🎃🕸 How are you scaring people with their shadows? Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most then scroll down for the corresponding message(s). Happy Halloween my Sol-cherubs!!
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Pile One
"SHE AIN'T NO DIVAAA!"
You trigger others in a way that threatens their confidence and provoke them into a cycle of evaluating their self worth and identity after an ego death that's probably been long overdue. Some people in this group may hinder themselves back from speaking to people about anything in general, like expressing your opinion on something, talking about yourself, joining in a conversation so that you can be outgoing and network with others because you could feel like developing normal interactions with others is difficult for you. You could feel that people may find what you have to say as meaningless, they could even talk over you, or maybe you fear that people will hate you for what you say. You could also find yourself in too many situations where people are dedicated to misunderstanding you by twisting what you say or snubbing you. But despite their reactions, people strongly value what you say, and are often changed personally by even just a few words that you mention and could still think about what you've said years later whether it's from a normal conversation or an argument. I feel called to mention to this group that you shouldn't restrain yourself by muting your verbal expression in order to please others, because I'm getting that even though you aren't aware that there are people who want to listen and do listen to what you have to say and will like and respect you for who you are, you understand the weight of your words and the repercussions you face when you defend yourself and but there are times you don't in order to keep the peace. You must understand that peace is simply an illusion when you keep putting your feelings and wellbeing aside to keep people that are not even for you in your life. Tip toeing around others is not what's going to keep you safe—you gotta step on some toes to free yourself. This group has to learn both when it isn't your fault for when you trigger someone and when it is. Because I'm getting that another part of this group is more so in the darker aspect of this trait, you don't hold your tongue for anyone and when someone goes low, you go to straight to the pits of hell. You're fully aware of how you know just the right words to break someone and to intentionally offend them. Your brutal honesty isn't needed all of the time and sometimes you're not being blunt, you're just being an asshole. Reserve your poison for the people that deserve it, but it will benefit you to learn that the same way the magnitude of your words can be poison to others it also be venom used to help others heal. I know it may feel like that someone's always trying it with you but you gotta calm down and start seeing the good in humanity, because not everyone is a piece of filth that you need to sweep. The shadow work that you make other people do eventually creates a balance that keeps their egos in check and where their humility is holding them back.
Pile Two
What's chilling about you is how elusive you are. This can mean a variety of things, but one of the scenarios that I'm getting is that this pile could be adamant when it comes to holding grudges. People hate that you don't forgive them because it gives them a reality check with how entitled they feel to treat others and how they expect them to react about it afterwards. You seem to unfortunately attract a lot of people that don't take any accountability. They show up as either someone who feels like they have the right to mistreat others and have control over how their victims feel or perceive the situation or people who have lived their entire lives as victims but are in disbelief when they are in situations where they have made someone else a victim so they manipulate the situation to confirm their bias and lack of self awareness. These people are possessive over outcomes and how they want to be seen. You are very much capable of forgiving others, but you are strong with your boundaries to the point where you don't make yourself accessible anymore to the people have hurt you and this confuses them. They're used to thinking that words have more meaning than their actions or that forgiveness is something that's automatically given when asked for it, but you show them that's not exactly how it works. This makes them have to unpack guilt that they will deal with for a very long time or your absence reminds them of how powerless that they feel. Both are situations that are hard to sit with alone so these people may tend to latch on others and surround themselves with company. The shadow work that you make others do is to reflect on situations where they are habitually self-undoing.
Pile Three
What makes other people shook about you, is how unmoved you are but how you always seem to ironically move others. You could have this radical intelligence and self sufficiency where you don't care who's on your level or not. You could be isolated by others a lot, and on the outside it could look like you're out of touch with humanity, but no, you're actually way ahead of your time, they just need to catch up. The same things that people have tried to shun you for, end up becoming trends in the future. You guys are very secure with yourself and it intimidates others, but you've grown or will grow to not let that effect you anymore. I see that your purpose involves leading others. You guys could be coaches to help people break habits that maladaptively stagnate their lives, you keep yourself strong, in order to pass this on to others who finally decide that they to help themselves. Your insight isn't going to be accepted by the majority because those people are still stuck on outward appearances or are complacent with their own delusions, and it's not your responsibility to help everyone, but you're good at what you do and you have the potential to save a lot of lives with the changes that you help other people make within themselves. It doesn't even have to solely be changes either, you could motivate others to recognize what they already have within themselves too and that's so empowering. If you guys are tarot readers that are feeling down about the messages that you're trying to bring to people, I'm getting that you guys need to keep going, what you're doing is meaningful even if you can't physically see it, you awaken others deeply to things that they may not be ready to publicly share with others so give it time and remember your mission. You aren't here to entertain any thoughts of staying the same, you are here to promote growth. Don't downplay your gifts, you know what you know.
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COD Characters and their Love Languages.
A\N: Call Of Duty requests are now open!
Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, König, Alejandro Vargas, Phillip Graves.
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Simon "Ghost" Riley
Give: Quality Time.
Simon struggles with showing his love, and how much he values the few he truly cares about. Most days he's really not too big on physical touch, he's not great at expressing his feelings through words, and he finds gifts to be too frivolous of a way to show you how much he loves you. What he knows exactly how to do is give you his time and attention, he's not used to it, you're genuinely the only person he would spend all day with, but he can do it.
Usually, Simon is very picky about how he spends his limited free time, but with you? It doesn't matter at all. The two of you can do whatever you want to do, (and even if he might grumble about it, he truly means whatever) even if it's something he wouldn't usually like. His only requirement about the activities is that he wants to be with you, but other than that, anything that makes you excited is his favourite activity. 
Whether it's you sharing a hobby of yours with him and explaining the process to him, or you talking about something you are passionate about, maybe the latest book you've read, Simon remembers everything you tell him. He might not speak much during the conversation, but he listens, and he never forgets a single detail. 
Receive: Acts of Service.
Similarly to the way he shows you love, Simon doesn't require you to shower him in affection, although he will always appreciate each and every single time or way you show your love for him. But still, Simon is all for subtlety, for small things that prove that you care for him. Even better if they are unconscious gestures you do without having to think about it, like making sure he is taking proper care of himself, bringing him something to eat when he’s too focused on work to remember, or subtly checking up on him if you notice him being too quiet. Although he doesn’t like making you worry, he still appreciates that you do, because to him it shows just how genuine your love for him is.
Johnny "Soap" MacTavish
Give: Physical Touch.
Johnny quite literally can't get enough of you, he would glue himself to you if he could, and he doesn’t hold himself back at all from showering you in affection. 
Oftentimes, his touch can be a little rough, no matter how gentle he tries to be. Whether it’s a kiss, a hug, or even simple handholding, his touch is anything but delicate, Johnny tries to pour all his love into every single act of affection, and more often than not he doesn’t let go until you ask him to. He’s all for PDA, he doesn’t care where you are or who is looking, why should he keep his hands away from the love of his life?
Johnny is always down for some cuddles or some playful roughhousing, as long as he can be close to you he’s alright with absolutely anything, and if you're laying or sitting down, expect him to drape himself over you. 
Receive: Gift Giving & Physical Touch. 
Johnny loves knowing that you think about him even when the two of you aren't together, so every time you buy something for him, especially if it is an "It reminded me of you" type of gift, he will literally melt. The price of the gift, or what the gift itself is doesn't really matter to him, it's the gesture and the meaning behind it that he finds important, so he will treasure whatever it is to the end of his life.
He probably has a collection of soap themed things you've given him, and he absolutely loves it, it's his pride and joy. Loves when you gift him things he can bring with him while he’s deployed, like a bracelet he can fidget with when he misses you, a polaroid of the two of you that he can keep in his pocket and stare at to remind him of what’s waiting for him at home, or a patch that makes him think of you.
Johnny loves showering you in physical affection, but he also loves receiving it. No matter what kind of touch it is, he is always going to adore it, he just needs your hands on his skin, but he has a preference for those soft, comforting touches he never knew he needed until you came along. He loves when you let him lay his head on your lap as you gently run your fingers through his hair; He loves when you massage his shoulders on those days that he is exhausted, even when he says he’s fine and insists he should be the one to take care of you; He loves when the two of you shower together, helping each other wash away the events and tiredness of the day; He loves when you plant sweet kisses on his lips or cheek when you pass by him, for no reason other than the fact that you feel like it, because you love him.
John Price
Give: Acts of Service & Words of Affirmation.
This man would do anything and everything for you if he could, he doesn't want you to lift a finger or think about anything while he's with you. He wants you to be able to completely relax, to turn your brain off and trust that you are in capable hands. Everything is taken care of before you can even begin to stress about it, and he's not above treating you like royalty. John also likes to help you through the bigger, most tiring parts of life, whatever you need him to do to make you feel better, he’ll do it without question. If work or school are stressing you out, he’ll do anything to help you relax, from cooking for you, to running you a bath and washing your hair for you, to taking care of the house and the groceries, to making sure your working environment is quiet and tidy. He will ask you if there is anything you can delegate to him, and will insist on doing it for you. 
On the same note, he will tell you how much he loves you all day everyday if you want him to, and each time will be as sincere and heartfelt as the one before, honestly, he would do it gladly. He isn’t shy with his words, and he never lets you forget how much he appreciates you and everything you do. He never stops reminding you how strong you are, how good you are doing, how invaluable you are. You are his whole world, and he is so incredibly proud of you and your achievements; He is proud of you even when you are tired or struggling, and he never lets you forget that even just the fact that you’re trying is more than enough, no matter what anyone else says.
Receive: Quality Time.
Give him all the time you can, and your full attention, and this man is going to wonder how he could get so lucky. The fact that you take time out of your day to dedicate yourself to him, and that you listen to him no matter what, even if he's rambling or saying something inconsequential, is something he endlessly appreciates. And he never feels as loved as when he stops talking and you ask him questions, let him talk more, with an expression on your face that shows that you care, that you are truly listening. When he tells you something, maybe in passing and without even expecting you to listen, and you remember it, he ends up looking at you in wide eyed surprise, he never gets used to how much you care about him.
It's not often John gets the chance to indulge in his hobbies, so seeing how eager you are to do them with him, even if you don't share the same passion for them, has his heart melting, especially if you’re the one to offer something he likes as the day’s activity. He would have no problem spending your time together doing something you'd prefer to do, or even do nothing at all, but it's the fact that you care to see him happy and in his element that never fails to make him feel incredibly loved.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick 
Give: Quality Time.
You are his safe haven, when he's with you, he feels like he has finally a moment to breathe, to reconnect with the most human part of himself. He forgets that he's a soldier when he is by your side, he's just himself, and nothing else exists except the two of you. When you are together, no matter what the two of you are doing, he's completely focused on you, his phone or any other distraction completely forgotten. He could talk to you about everything and nothing until his voice gets hoarse, and he would still count the minutes until you'll get the chance to do it again.
Kyle knows exactly how short life can be, especially his own, so he never takes the time you two share together for granted. If he knew he only had five more minutes in this world, he would choose to spend them with you without hesitation. For him, your time together could consist in you doing your own thing, and him just following you around, and he would still be the happiest man in the world.
Receive: Words of Affirmation. 
There's three things Kyle adores in this world: you, your voice, and the way you care for him; So when you mix all of them together, he is the happiest man alive. He loves when you whisper sweet nothings into his ear, especially when it’s late at night and you are holding each other, and anything outside of your bedroom disappears. 
It doesn’t really matter to him if it’s words of love or encouragement, he just loves knowing that you care, that you notice when he is upset, that you know when a situation is stressful even when he doesn’t complain. And most of all it’s the fact that your words are a reminder that you always have his back, no matter the circumstances or what the world throws at him. You never let any of his achievements go unappreciated, even when he tries to brush them off as unimportant, or not enough, you remind him of just how far he has come, how much he has faced to get where he is, and how difficult the road has been, and you remind him that despite it all he never stopped fighting, he’s much stronger and far more capable than he gives himself credit for, and the fact that you notice that, that you are proud of him, it’s truly something invaluable to him.
König
Give: Acts of Service.
What König does for you is a little more subtle than what Price does, but it’s not any less meaningful, or any less constant. You are in his mind all day everyday, and he wants nothing more than to show that to you, even when he can’t quite put it into words. So he does a dozen little heartfelt things for you everyday: he brings you your favourite drink at the time of day you usually drink it; If you need to get something from a store he's already out of the door and rushing to get it; If you have something that needs to be repaired he'll gladly do it for you, to the point that he pretty much renovates your house given the time; He always shares his food with you, and insists you take some if you don't reach for his plate yourself; He always gives you his jacket if you're cold, his shoes if yours are uncomfortable, and he carries your bag for you so that your hands are free. 
Everything he does for you, König does it gladly and with a lovesick smile on his face, he loves being able to take care of you, and he gets so proud of himself whenever he can make something easier for you, or make you smile.
Receive: Words of Affirmation.
König doesn't require many shows of affection, he's not one for grand gestures anyway, and he always notices every little thing you do that proves how much you care about him. But he can get a little insecure every now and then, especially because of how amazing he thinks you are, at times, he ends up getting stuck in his own head and wondering how someone like you could ever love someone like him, so words of reassurance are very important to him.
Tell him that you notice his efforts, that you see how hard he always tries to make you happy, and tell him how much you appreciate all of it, and he'll try to make you feel loved with even more enthusiasm than before. Tell him how handsome you think he is, especially when he takes his mask off or when he feels awkward because of his size, and you'll actually manage to make him blush. Tell you how wonderful you find him, how he is amazing just the way he is, usually those types of words would be appreciated but not necessarily taken to heart, but König trusts you, and could never doubt your honesty, so after a while your words will actually begin to stick.
In the end, all König is afraid of is that one day you'll decide to leave, and he wouldn't know what to do with himself without his one and only by his side.
Alejandro Vargas 
Give: Physical Touch & Gift Giving. 
The way Alejandro gives you physical affection is a bit more subtle and also more suave, he's not the type to completely drape himself over you the way Soap is, but that doesn't mean he's any less touchy. He always finds a reason to touch you in some way, from brushing your hair behind your ear when he notices it falling in your face, to placing kisses on your forehead, to having his hands on your hips or inside your back pocket (if you're comfortable with it.). But he doesn't have to necessarily touch you directly, Alejandro is more than happy with any type of closeness. He'll kneel down to lace your boots for you, help you buckle yourself when the occasion requires, if he notices the sleeve or strap of your shirt falling off your shoulder he'll gently use his fingers to put it back up, and he absolutely insists on doing your hair for you in the morning. He'll always sit down next to you, or stay by your side for as long as he can, not being shy with his love for you at all, not even in public. He's so proud of you, he wouldn't want anything else than for the whole world to see him by your side.
Alejandro lives for the way your face lights up when he gives you a gift. His gifts can be quite literally anything, and they can be either really small or really big, but they will always be thoughtful. He buys you things he knows will have meaning to you, they can go from something big that you've been eyeing for some time, or to booking you a trip when he knows you need a break, or a very expensive piece of jewelry that reminded him of you, to something much smaller but still meaningful, like buying you food when you're hungry, or bringing you your favourite flowers and chocolates. Either way, it's his way of letting you know that you never leave his mind, that he cares about you and remembers what you like, and that he'll always take care of you.
Receive: Acts of Service.
The easiest way to speak right to Alejandro's heart is to take care of him as well. It doesn't have to be anything big, even just coming home to you having cooked dinner for him, especially if you remember his favourite foods, or you taking care of the chores for the day so that he has one less thing on his mind, means a whole lot to him. He thinks you're an absolute saint when you remember where he leaves his stuff, or when you get his clothes ready in the morning so that he'll be able to sleep for a few more minutes, or when you notice he needs a new deodorant or something similar, and you get it for him when he's too stressed to remember it himself. Prepare him breakfast in bed, and this man will immediately go down on one knee and ask you to marry him, or renew your vows.
Alejandro is a Colonel, he has a lot of responsibility weighing down on him everyday, and a lot of people that count on him, so having the chance to come home to you and relax, leaving his worries at the door for a few hours, is more than he could ever ask for.
Phillip Graves 
Give: Gift Giving & Words of Affirmation.
Phillip can't stop himself from spoiling the people he loves, in his mind, they deserve everything in the world, and why wouldn't he give it to them when he knows he can provide that? And when it comes to you, his overindulgence is almost unbelievable. He would give you the world if he could, so anything less than that is no big deal for him, no matter how much money it requires. He tries to satisfy each and every one of your whims, to the point that you can't even mention liking something, and he will find a way to give it to you. From a fancy dress, to a luxurious trip, to the house of your dreams, there is nothing he will not give to you. Honestly, he might seriously consider a way to give you the moon if you asked him to. 
Phillip works, and has worked, so hard for the money he has now, and in his mind there is no greater demonstration of love than to take care of you with the fruits of his labour. 
He never lets you pay for anything, ever, you are his partner, and it is his duty and his pleasure to take care of you. At some point in your relationship, Phillip will suggest you stop working entirely, unless your job is something you really love doing, he knows how stressful work can be, and there's no need for you to go through that when he can avoid it. What's a greater gift, a greater show of love, than giving you all the free time in the world, and the freedom to do whatever you want without worrying about a single thing?
Phillip isn't shy with his words, not at all, and he can be quite the charmer. He will list every single thing he loves about you if he sees you feeling down, and he never fails to tell you just how perfect you are, how good you are doing, how proud he is of you. He will brag about your achievements as if they were his own, with so much passion behind every word. 
He always reminds you of how attractive he finds you, whether you're dolled up or in your nightclothes, he will tell you how stunning you look, and he absolutely means it. He notices every detail of your appearance, and he compliments all of them, how beautiful a shade of a colour looks on you, how flattering what you're wearing is, how pretty he finds the way you've styled your hair. 
He'll talk loudly and proudly about you to anyone willing, or unwilling, to listen with as much love as anyone will ever see on his face. There is no way he'll ever let you feel unloved or unappreciated, when there is no one worth more than you in the world.
Receive: Physical Touch.
Phillip associates physical affection with you being proud of him, and of being seen with him. He's very fond of light PDA and sees it as a way for you to say: "Hey everyone, this is my man.". But it doesn't always have to be public: button his shirt for him in the morning, brush your fingers through his hair, hold his hand and rub gentle circles on the back of it, and he will absolutely melt in your hands.
He especially loves when you initiate physical contact, especially when it comes to kisses and hugs, and he doesn't waste a second to reciprocate them. There's no feeling he adores more in the world, than feeling needed and loved by you. 
He is all for classic affection like walking arm in arm with you, but honestly, he welcomes any type of affection you want to give him, and every single time he gets a half smug half lovesick grin on his face. Nothing gets him to relax, or makes him feel as loved as your touch does, it's probably the only thing that can get him to calm down after a rough day, and he'll forever be grateful for that.
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chantiying · 7 days
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Why do I love you?
How to choose? Take a deep breath, close your eyes, open them and then choose the image that drawn your attention
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1 2 3
Before to start, sorry for any mistakes or grammar error. English is not my first language
Remember tarot is not set on stone and you can change your path whenever you want. This is for entertainment purposes
This reading is general so if it doesn't resonate with you just let it go
Pile 1
Hey! Do I really have to give you reasons to understand how much you mean to me? Every conversation we have, from the deepest to the stupidest, through those silences that have never been uncomfortable between us. You keep me grounded, we've been through so much together. Every part of you is beautiful. I know that sometimes you doubt yourself, your body, even your luck, but I love you because despite everything you have lived and you are still here, and you're still fighting. We can do anything as long as we're together, forget those who let you down, forget those who betrayed you, forget all that, because now I'm here for you. Please let me know more about you, please let me help you. Don't be afraid, I do value all the effort you have made to be here, to stay here. I love you, because in spite of all the secrets, all the problems, all the things you've never said, you're still kind, considerate, still smiling and you keep bringing happiness to others.
I want to be with you, to give you my hand, to do crazy things together, I want you to believe in yourself again, and be in the process. I love you because you are my moonlight. Don't let your thoughts destroy you, we'll find our way, we two we'll fight all the monsters and dragons that torment you
I think this pile have a special connection with the moon
Talking to the moon by Bruno Mars
Maybe it's a friend, your crush, or someone who doesn't talk to you anymore or who you lost touch with because of distance. It can also be a spiritual guide. Anyway, it seems to be someone who misses you so much and talk to the moon about you
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Pile 2
I like spending time with you. I love you for all the witticisms you can have, for how free you seem to be, because in you I find a place to call home. I love you simply because that's what I came here for, to spend time with you, to love you, to take care of you, to help you, to fight together. You are a part of me, my fears, my insecurities, the difficult moments. The times you have seen me sad or crying, all those times you have been there for me, make me grateful for how lucky I am. Everything we've been through has only helped strengthen our relationship. I love you because you understand me even with my mood swings, because you could have left, but you've never done it. I want to have you always by my side, like my treasure. I know that you are always there for me, to advise me, to make me laugh, to go out, to forget everything, but I want you to know that I also want to be your shoulder on which you can rest, you are my hope, and I want you to find it in me too. I know you've been busy, but could we go out? Let's forget the worries even for a day, okay?
This connection feels like an old movie, like autumn season, or even like the last day of school
Indie rock music
Imperfect for you by Ariana Grande
It could be a friend, lover or relative
"And in that moment I swear we were infinite"
🎻࿔*:🍂⋆🎻࿔*:🍂
Pile 3
Why do I love you? Easy. You arrived just in time to reach out to me. Maybe I haven't told you this, but before you, I was afraid that no one would really love me, I asked so much for your arrival, I think I manifested you. I know that sometimes I can be absent, that it may seem like I don't care about anything or anyone, but you're the only exception. I love you because you have made me believe in destiny, because if it weren't for you, I don't know where I would be. You are my family, the person who calms me down when my fears seem to win. Remember that I'm there for you, even if sometimes I can't even handle my problems. I love you because you don't judge me, because my problems seem lighter when I'm with you. You make me feel strong. I love you because you take care of me, because you care about me, because I was lost until you found me.
It seems to be someone who is struggling with depression or someone who doesn't know how to externalize their emotions
It's a relief for them to have you
Pop music, maybe social gatherings?
I think it's someone who looks up to you. It may be younger than you or older, but you play the role of "mom" because of how you care about that person
🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
Thank you for the support in my last (first) post. you guys are awesome
Alic (Chanty) 🪽
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ktaerssoi · 9 days
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summary: after a long game, that the team lost, paige comes home wanting nothing more then to cuddle with her girlfriend.
paige bueckers x fem!reader
postgame blues.
(1k)
watching your girlfriend struggle to keep her cool in the middle of a game against Iowa was difficult, it was even worse because you couldn't even be there in the stadium. due to your professor assigning a paper last week out of the blue, you were unable to go to the game and support Paige because you had to write a conclusion on the mathematics of something.
you weren't getting much work done as you had been too distracted by Paige during the game, so you ultimately turned it off in the third quarter but kept your phone notifications on.
as the last quarter finishes, you get one final notification letting you know that UConn has not won against Iowa. tonight was going to be hard for Paige.
-
Paige got home about an hour later, and you had been prepared for her to just go straight upstairs and shower, and be pretty quiet for the rest of the night. But, to your surprise, she instead unlocked the door, dropped her bag down, and came and hugged you on the couch.
"p, you know I am so proud of you right?" you whisper as you feel her shove her head further into your neck, she nods a little. "so you know that losing this game does not take away from your value as a person, right?" she nods again, and you can feel a tear dampen your shirt.
"p, baby," you lift her head, looking at her for a moment, wiping her cheeks dry before pulling her back to you. planting a kiss on her head, you get up, heading to the kitchen. grabbing two spoons and a half-eaten container of cherry garcia ice cream, Paige's favorite, you walk back into the living room where Paige is now sitting up, her head leaning against the cushions as she zones out.
"Paige, c'mon baby, don't dwell on this game, it doesn't define your career okay? you're so much more than just your sport." your words seem to hold only truth, and Paige nods, a faint smile on her lips as you hand her a spoon and the ice cream.
"did you watch the game?" Paige asked quietly, you felt bad not watching the game in full, but you did have work you needed to do. "I watched the first half, but I had to turn it off because you were distracting me from my essay," you smile at her, taking a spoonful of ice cream. she nods slowly, seeming to relax a little as she knows the game is over and you still love her even after her "bad performance" in said game.
Once the ice cream is gone, you get up and throw away the empty container. you realize suddenly that Paige is still in her uniform, and you plop down next to her on the couch again as you pull her closer to you. "why don't you go take a shower? get changed and we can watch some TV or something." Paige looks up at you suddenly, "trying to get rid of me?" she smiles, cracking her first joke since she had been home.
"oh gosh no, I will miss you so dearly well you're away for 15 minutes, I can barely function even thinking about it." you kiss her head squeezing her extra tight as you get up from the couch for the second time, pulling her up with you. once the two of you were standing, she towered over you, standing at a good 5'4 you weren't necessarily the tallest person in the world.
"What is your way of convincing me to shower to get in with me? if so, it's working." she smiles down at you, and you pray the room is dim enough that she doesn't spot the pinkish hue covering your cheeks. "ha ha. no, I am going to go make our bed and find a movie we can watch once you get out of the shower. alone."
paige sighs as she starts heading towards the bathroom, and you follow behind her, but you quickly turn to end up in your guys' bedroom, plopping down on the bed trying to locate the remote. it had been almost ten minutes before you heard the water start running. this girl and her 45-minute showers. you roll your eyes as you scroll through, finding a good-sounding movie, Repo Man. You make the bed quickly and find your phone, trying to pass the time as you wait for Paige.
when she finally gets out to your bedroom, gets dressed, and climbs onto the bed next to you it is almost 11 pm. "Paige, I think you might have just taken the longest shower in human history." you smile at her, crossing your arms as you rest against the headboard. "I had to wash the loss off of me, can't bring that into this sacred bed." she pats the space between you at the end of her statement, getting an eye roll and a smile from you.
once you two start the movie and get comfortable, Paige is already half asleep on top of you. her head was resting comfortably on your shoulder, and her legs were tangled with yours as her soft snores could be heard not even an hour into the movie, you kissed her forehead, turned off the tv, and rolled over to lean into her.
-
you wake up to giggles from the doorway as you see KK with her phone out taking pictures of you two cuddling. She had found the key, again.
bro omg there is this girl in my class and i actually like her like a lot but i literally cannot tell if shes gay so and like were friends, i mean she sits in front of me and we talk like all the time and she always gives me such mixed signals but literally i was leaning on her a little and we were watching her tiktok or wtvr and AN EDIT OF PAIGE CAME UP and she said she was fine SO I THINK SHES INTO GIRLS. sos chat. - kate
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theminecraftbee · 5 months
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also hearing joe ask hypno and etho for "someone to go get my corpse and throw it through the portal" has reminded me that for a hermitcraft player there are some aspects of vault hunters that have to just be. complete existential nightmares. to go from a server with respawns that are quick, easy to recover from, and frequent, to--
do you know how often you have to loot your own dead body in this game? (it's a lot.) do you wonder how many times the hermits have had to retrieve their friend's ghost and rescue it from the vault, carrying their cold, clammy spirit in their hands? the gods want them to buy it back; you wonder how much of their soul is in it. at least it's cheaper because you rescued them. small mercy, that you can make it cheaper for them to retrieve their soul from the gods. do you know how many times you've had to loot your own dead body, too? (you aren't sure.) what happens when you can't afford to buy your spirit back? (the first time it happens, you realize you'd have to run a vault again; better not die and compound your debt.) there's a button to destroy it, too. a button to destroy that bit of your soul and make room for others, if you accept you'll never afford it. and your friends and you, you're--you don't think you've lost anything important. you hope you haven't lost anything important. there's something strange about how you all walk now, though, and...
the thing is, you know exactly how much the gods value your soul at; it's the price of everything you carry on your person. and you know exactly how it feels to carefully unlatch armor from your still-cooling corpse and put it back on, the protection clipping around your limbs, and it feels so long ago that you could just pick your items off the ground instead.
so yeah. SLIGHTLY existential nightmare, for the hermits,
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rrxnjun · 1 year
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— SIMPLIFY ROMANCE *̥ nct dream 00 line [series]
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You can try to simplify romance— reduce it to a touch, call it odd attraction, a pull of a magnet... but what if you're in love?
Everyone's story is different. One starts with a last resort decision, another one sparks from a petty argument, while some find the one by a total accident and the most lucky ones find love in their best friend... What do all of the boys in those stories have in common? They're completely, utterly smitten with their special someone, and while some are more casual about it, some go above and beyond to impress the girl of their dreams.
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Sprawled across the couch of Liu Yangyang’s basement, passing along bottles of beer and laughing to themselves, there’s a group of people enjoying their Friday evening. The low melody of the music playing in the background is loud enough to make you move your head to the beat of the drums, yet still quiet enough to not disturb the conversation going on as the friend group decides to play a round of every college student’s dream game– Truth or dare.
“Renjun! Truth or dare,” Yangyang perks up from his place, occupying the bean bag in the very corner of the room. 
“Truth,” the latter hums, too lazy to actually stand up from his place on the old, cigarette-smelling sofa in case of getting a dare that requires being active.
“What’s the most over the top thing you’ve done to get a girl?” 
The boy chuckles, rolling his eyes as his gaze drifts to the girl sitting on his right, the feeling of being exposed creeping up his cheeks in embarrassment; he wonders if he can play off his flushed cheeks as being too drunk and not at all flustered. Sighing, he shakes his head as he prepares to answer, already getting ready for the amount of teasing that will surely come next, knowing how his friends are, grabbing every possible opportunity to laugh at someone.
And while they all have every right to tease and poke fun at him for his love story, the knowledge that one day, they were just as down bad as he was back then brings him courage as he tells the truth; because as long as he’s aware, there are people in this circle who have acted way more dramatic than him in the process of getting the girl of their dreams to like them…
Everyone’s story is different, but you know what they all have in common? 
They’ve all been utter simps for a special someone before. 
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✲ 01. blondes are done with fun — huang renjun.
a rumor has it that the popular couple in town broke up after years of being together. having to share your favorite seat in class with the male part of said relationship, you try to find out how to make your heartbroken project partner warm up to you— or— huang renjun goes blonde when he's sad.
journalism student! renjun x fem! journalism student! reader
genre. college au, acquaintances to lovers. fluff, comedy, angst, smut.
wc. 30k
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✲ 02. take the stairs — na jaemin.
after having an unexpected guest witness the neverending quarrels with your roommate, na jaemin starts to practically live at your place— or— where yizhuo's flegmatic project partner starts to put a suspicious amout of effort into their assignment.
neurophysiology student! na jaemin x fem! literature student! reader
genre. college au, strangers to lovers. fluff, comedy, suggestive.
wc. 18k
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✲ 03. dancing in my backseat — lee donghyuck.
there are only a few things in which men value their social status; one of them being the number of girls in their bed, the next one their rank in league of legends, and lastly, their cars— or— where you would never fuck a guy without a driver's licence.
film student! lee donghyuck x fem! film student! reader
genre. college au, acquaintances to lovers. fluff, comedy, suggestive.
wc. 24k
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✲ 04. language of averted eyes — lee jeno.
an anonymous love confession appears on your university confession page one day and you drag your best friend along to help you find the person behind it— or— where lee jeno aimlessly pretends to look for an answer he already knows.
computer science student! lee jeno x fem! music student! reader
genre. college au, best friends to lovers. fluff, angst, comedy.
wc. tba! [est. 15k]
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-> get added to the taglist! <-
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(c) 2023 rrxnjun. all rights reserved.
Do not translate or repost anywhere.
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azure-cherie · 2 months
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20 things I've learned as i turn 20
My birthday is in a few days though i like to keep it private I'd like to share some of my thoughts 😁 the things I've learned are mostly based off my experiences
Individuality: one can be a loner in life but that doesn't guarantee a thing about individuality, to learn it one has to be in uncomfortable places and do uncomfortable things only to realise oh that is my thing and i must pursue , though we keep acquiring things from here and there all our lives but it's our zest that makes it ours .
Don't be afraid to move alone, stay alone or do things alone , I'm still working on it and the most important part is people are so busy they don't even care what you are doing, only a pathetic person jokes about you being lonely and doing things on your own
You are watching self help but are you applying it ?? With so much information available one can often get lost in comparison and be confused about thing , to try things is a better way to decide whether we should listen to someone , most of the times people don't even know what they're saying always ask yourself before following someone's advice .
Only give someone something when you are genuinely having an excess in your life , give from what you have extra , or else you'll end up feeling empty and sad because you gave them from your part, for example : there's a friends birthday and you don't have excess to give them a gift just skip the party or give them something hand made like cards , gifts or bake cookies , if they really love you they will appreciate you and only such people are worth having around , same with your time , only make time for others when you have done everything for yourself.
Don't fall into the trap , boundaries are tangible, don't be like " oh I had such a good day my best friend is crying but my boundary is to not care i live my good life" shut up this girl right here was there for you when you needed someone we often lose our way then the people around us need to bring us to the right path , you need people around you remember. Please do this only if the other person does the same for you .
It's okay to not like anyone around you : Darwin said survival of the fittest and we mostly stay in competition with people , so it's okay to not like everyone don't ghost them because you find one thing annoying, they have good things you can look out for , focus on the good .
Give yourself and others the space : don't seem needy or desperate because you had a fight with someone or just a problem with yourself, perspectives come with time , you and they need it if it's meant to be things will be alright
It's okay to lose things , we get tired of things and people and situations and it's fine if it's worth you can fight for it but if you are staying only because of attachment it doesn't take long till it wears off , get ready for the new chapter of your life
It's okay to win , personally I realised I have been afraid of winning and that's why I don't. when you are young you can be programmed to feel like a loser but know that life keeps changing you can win if you believe it .
You don't need to fix everything about you : ahh please please don't give up on good things just because you thing you are yet to heal , no you're good go for it if you feel like it , moreover something's are just not worth it to fix or heal , simple changes can accomodate.
People who love you will accommodate for you and it goes both ways , you have to belive in the power of you and everyone around you and sometimes bend when you need to
What is not worth bending is your values , when you know something is right do what is right regardless , be the right person to yourself by doing what is right to you .
Don't worry about being a good or bad person , it doesn't matter in the long run , a narcissist thinks they're the best and an anxious person thinks they're the worst but we know what's the truth , sometimes in life you have to do bad things but that doesn't make you a bad person , you need to survive in this world things aren't cheap we suffer from capitalism and mind games , do what you need to get a good life for you and your closed ones , we'll talk about the bad deeds in hell and even god will see what you have done and why you have done it , intentions matter .
Keep a balance of experiences and consequences, don't lose out of an experience because you worried about the consequences too much and don't do something that you will regret because you didn't think about the consequences of your actions.
Never tell one person everything, don't vent to everyone , the more you vent the more possibility you have of your personal information getting leaked as a gossip, if you tell different people about different issues you can know when they betray you and dismiss the rumour and cut them off and know that some people are just better at advice in different sectors like you wouldn't ask a logical person who's invested in financial topics about your emotional turmoil it will only disappoint.
Keep your spiritual practices private , don't do something because everyone is , people like to mock , put bad energy or evil eye on perfectly fine things , it's only protection to keep your practices private or anonymous on the internet . Do some spiritual practice because you feel connected to it not because everyone is , don't follow the crowd look within yourself. This applies to deity work , magic or manifestation.
Learn about money and finances and investment, Acquire skills it's only right when you know enough about these things as they create the foundation of your life here, learn about it young so you don't suffer when older . learn everything that you can don't be afraid to be a first timer one day you'll be a pro at it and you'll thank yourself that you were a first timer , try everything you can .
Don't worry about defining yourself, you're constantly changing and that's the beauty of you , you can know who you are and you have to relearn who you are in every era of life .
Be happy for what your parents have done and forgive for what they didn't, this can be hard but don't let them be another obstacle for you to not reach your highest self it's best to forgive and move on , it's also their First time as a person learning about living.
Love yourself unconditionally, last but not the least the most important, forgive yourself, accept the ways you have changed , do things for yourself, practice all 5 love languages on yourself, give yourself the love .
I have learnt so much more and hope you do too , love you so much 🤍
Thanks for reading<33
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