#at this point the only thing one can do is just laugh at this tomfoolery

[metamorphesque]

Only 3 months after completing the long-planned ethnic cleansing of Nagorno-Karabakh (Artsakh) by forcing out Armenians, the indigenous population with a history of over 3000 years and, thus, having successfully carried out yet another step of turk-azeri multi-stage strategy of the (second!) genocide of Armenians...And yet, rather than be held accountable for the above-mentioned, azerbaijan recently won the bid to host the United Nation's climate summit next year.

REWARDED 3 months after carrying out an ethnic cleansing! It's funny how the world is so selective about which war crimes must be reprimanded and which ones— rewarded.

#un.. you've done it again my friend #at this point the only thing one can do is just laugh at this tomfoolery #armenia #artsakh #armenian genocide #history

[ziggyzolch]

Headache II (Wanda Maximoff x Reader)

Summary: Finally waking up from your forced nap, you have a discussion with the rest of the team. Warnings: Swearing and general tomfoolery Previous Part

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

❅❅❅

You can hear two, maybe three voices in the same room as you. From what you've gathered, you're in some kind of hotel room, and have been asleep for at least an hour. Peaking open one eye, you see a man with silver highlights in his hair, and the same woman that kidnapped you. An idea sparks in your mind.

They had been facing you for the 5 minutes you've been awake, but after painstakingly waiting 2 more minutes and almost falling back asleep, they turn away from you. You have no idea when they're gonna turn back, so you quickly walk up behind them. The man turns first.

"I think we could convince her to stay- What the fuck!" at his girly scream, Wanda turns and punches you in the nose. Doubled down clutching your nose and laughing your ass off, you point at the man, "You scream like a girl!" Before you could fall back down in laughter, Wanda picks you up by your shirt collar and pushes you against the bedroom door.

"Is it impossible for you to just. Be. Normal." she grits out.

"Yup. More importantly though, you are so strong." You reach out to touch her bicep, but she slaps your hand away.

"I can't wait till you're out of here, fucker."

"Yeah yeah. I get it, you love me." You say while flashing her a big goofy smile.

She rolls her eyes and opens the door, dragging you out to god knows where. Looking around the place, mainly for new prank setups, you notice the same silver haired man following you and Wanda. She turns a corner, and a huge living room reveals itself, with even more, probably rapey, people.

You turn to Wanda, "So is this like a weird university where your lessons are focused on kidnapping and trafficking." She looks down at you, opening her mouth to respond when a man interrupts. "Finally up?" He asks while standing up from the sofa he was sitting on, three more people standing up after him. You make eye contact with an intimidating redhead. "Tony, when you listed out her crimes, I expected her to be a 13 year old boy not..." She looks you up and down, "A 19 year old girl."

"Are you discriminating? Can girls not be assholes too?" You ask, faking an offended look.

Wanda interrupts, "She has superspeed or something, makes it easier for her to be a douchebag."

You puff up your chest in pride, "Yeah, it does."

"Alright." Wanda rolls her eyes and pulls you further into the room.

The man who you now know as Tony starts talking, "So, speedster," Both you and the silver-haired man respond, making you raise an eyebrow at him, "You have two options: Join us, or let us escort you to prison." Your eyes widen, "What the hell! What do you mean join you; I don't even know who you are or where I am," They all give confused looks to each other, "For all I know, you guys are gonna make me help you traffic innocent young girls such as myself." Wanda huffs out a laugh at the last part. After securing you to the couch (standing behind you and holding your shoulders down) Wanda looks down at you in question, "You've never heard of the Avengers?"

You attempt to turn only for her to keep you in your place, "I have more important things to worry about than a group of rapists."

"Okay seriously, why does she keep calling us that?" Tony looks to Wanda for answers, only getting a shrug in response.

"Well," A dirty blonde man approaches you, "The Avengers are-"

"Oh my God! I know you!" You start bouncing up and down, while Wanda attempts to hold you in place, "You're Captain America!"

Steve scratches the back of his neck, laughing bashfully. Tony chimes in angrily, "You're telling me you know this fossil but not the Avengers? Or even me!" You raise an eyebrow and turn to Wanda, "Did I trigger him?" Wanda rolls her eyes for the millionth time today, but this time she had a little smile appear on her face. You opt not to bring it up and move on.

"Oh wait, are you the guys that beat that alien?" You ask, "That alien was my brother!" A massive god-like man makes himself known. "I mean he wasn't from this planet was he," You attempt to joke, receiving exasperated sighs and eye rolls. The Norse God pulls you up by your shirt collar, "Jeez! Okay I won't make anymore jokes," He reluctantly puts you down when the unnamed redhead grabs his shoulder, "Tough crowd." You murmur.

Tony claps his hands, "Anyways, you have until tomorrow to make your choice. If you do decide to join, we'll provide details then. Otherwise you're going to prison, which, in all honesty, sounds like it might do you some good," You flip him off, "Hey!-"

Steve interrupts, "Where will she be staying?" Tony pauses in thought for a moment, then turns to Wanda with a wicked smile, "With her."

Objections start flying out of you and Wanda, and maybe some insults from you. Tony sighs, "Enough! Wanda you're the only one that can subdue her before she can even start running, and you," He points a finger directly in your face, "Don't have a choice."

You stare at his finger. Then bite down on it.

"What the- Wanda get her out of here!" Tony yells while clutching his finger.

While getting dragged up to what you assume to be the witch's room, you turn to shout, "It wasn't even that bad, pussy!" Wanda slaps the back of your head in warning.

She reaches the door before you stop moving. "Wait, I have one request." You turn to her and ask, in the most serious face you could muster. She actually stops, thinking that this may be important.

"Can I please get my stuff from my dorm? I have homework-" She groans and pushes you further into the room. You hear the door lock while you're exploring. You forgo telling her you could probably pick the lock. "You can make yourself comfortable on the floor," She says while putting away the key.

"What! You have a sofa right there!"

"Think of this as a punishment."

"Aren't you supposed to be convincing me to join your Powerpuff squad?"

"I don't have to do anything. Also, for being so ungrateful right now, you're not getting a blanket either."

You open your mouth to argue but the glare she sends you shuts you up, opting to just quietly fumfer out insults while attempting to get comfortable on the floor.

❅❅❅

Wanda exits the bathroom after finishing up her night-time routine, and finds you dead asleep like you weren't lying on a hardwood floor. She gets closer and notices your lips turning blue. She probably should've turned off the air conditioning, in hindsight.

Walking to her bed, she pauses. Groaning, she turns back around and walks to her closet, finding a spare blanket and putting it over you before stomping back to her bed.

She can't wait for you to get your own room.

❅❅❅

Next Part

#marvel #marvel imagine #mcu #mcu imagine #mcu fandom #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #the scarlet witch #wanda maximoff imagine #scarlet witch x reader #wlw #reader #x reader #sapphic #fanfiction #fanfic

[auspicioustidings]

141 fighting each other to be the one whose lap reader sits on during a meeting or smth

CONGRATS ON 1kkkk

Thanks <3 Please find silly nonsense below!

Tomfoolery Senses

Words: 1k

CWs: Slightly spicy but nothing explicit

Honestly you shouldn’t even be on base, not with your knee being how it was. It was annoying as hell that the recovery time meant you were out of the field for the foreseeable, but they still needed you. You may not be able to run around with a gun right now, but tactical was always your strong point anyway so for now you attended meetings and made plans.

You walked into one such meeting and your tomfoolery senses immediately went off. There were too many glinting eyes for them not to have pulled something, and when you went to sit down you nearly laughed out loud at the bloody audacity. No empty seats. Strange since there should be some, almost as if someone had relocated them beforehand specifically for some ridiculous purpose.

“Ye can sit here bonnie!”

It took a moment for your brain to catch up. Soap was very much patting his lap in excitement. The last time you had ended up in that man's lap his hand had wandered during the entire meeting. You recalled being a mess by the end of it and Soap being very much like the cat who got the cream about it because he knew it meant when he followed to your room like a puppy you would let him in.

“Move your arse MacTavish, I’m injured and I need the seat.”

“Wouldnae dream of it! As ye’ll recall, I also have a dodgy knee. Only right for us tae stick together.”

“Surely you’re not asking them to sit on your dodgy knee then Johnny? Come on sweetheart, right here.”

You gave Ghost a bemused look. Soap you expected this from, but him? Actually no, you had very much been overwatch for 141 missions, this is exactly the kind of nonsense you expected of this idiot.

“Now I would love to, but weren’t you just telling me about your bad back? I seem to remember something about needing me to massage it. It would be irresponsible of me to risk making it worse.”

“Your massage fixed it right up actually" he replied, large hand patting thick thigh in further invitation.

You rolled your eyes. Your “massage” had lasted about a minute with you sincerely giving it your best effort before he had pinned you down and given you a very thorough massaging of his own. Only that one had done the opposite of fixing your back, if anything you'd say he had in fact blown it out.

“That so? You were complaining about it right before they walked in” Gaz said, smug as anything even while Ghost glared over at him.

“He's a lying git luv, obviously just looking to get a gorgeous thing in his lap. My lap, however, is neutral.”

You knew for a fact his lap was not neutral, not one bit. His lap was very much the kind of lap that you found yourself bouncing on anytime he got you alone and charmed you right into it. You could be in the middle of a training exercise, fully in the zone, and next thing you knew you were stuffed full of Kyle bloody Garrick in the middle of a safehouse where anyone could wander in at any moment. It wasn't like you were a big risk taker, but he could make you think anything was a good idea.

“A veritable Switzerland I'm sure.”

“Safest place to be really.”

“Look me in the eye and say that with a straight face then.”

Soap and Ghost groaned in tandem as you made the mistake of looking at Gaz. That bloody sunshine smile could sell ice in the Arctic and as such everyone usually avoided eye contact when they knew he wanted something. Charisma score above 20 that boy. Honestly these fuckers were the worst, but oh Gaz's big brown eyes were just smiling so gently at you and surely he would never do anything untoward. How could you look at this man and think he would ever manipulate you?

“Corporal, come ‘ere, that's an order.”

Gaz's sunshine expression turned to one of wry disbelief. He had been so close, you had been about to take a step towards him. It was awfully unsportsmanlike for Price to pull rank, something Gaz would be holding against him.

“So much for honour.”

“Cheeky fucker.”

“Just taking the piss Captain.”

It wasn't completely unfounded for Price to use his rank to get what he wanted when it came to you, it was why usually the others would try to get you away from him. Ghost did it sometimes too if he wasn't there and the Sergeants were. Although he didn't use it quite as thoroughly as Price did once he got you alone. The Captain was always happy to give you orders if only so he could punish you when you bit back, which you did often. Not because you enjoyed the punishment, that certainly wasn't it. You could not supply another reason, but that was besides the point.

“Well I suppose I have to since you're the Captain, unless there was someone that technically had more authority to give me orders” you said with a grin.

“Come on now pet, don't be like that, just come sit and we can start the meeting hm?” he said, using that voice that was right in the middle of soothing dominance and rough command in a last ditch effort.

“Of course Captain, just want to clear it with command first.”

Price sighed, glancing over and seeing that he had lost the fight when he was met with Kate's sly little smile. She was often your saviour when it came to these men. It helped that her and her lovely wife were both sweet on you. They had invited you round for dinner once or twice, and suffice to say the very delicious home cooked meals were not the only thing getting eaten. If there was one thing the men in the 141 hated more than losing to one another, it was losing to Laswell. She was always so annoyingly smug about being your favourite.

As you settled right down in her lap and both the meeting and Kate's hands gently massaging at your waist started, the 141 collectively thought that next time they'd better bring you a damn chair.

#mhairiwrites #cod #tf 141 x reader

[hwere]

SydCarmy | T | 2k words.

Prompt: “Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating” ©

Tags: established relationship, dialogue heavy, tomfoolery.

“So, we’ve been secretly dating for three months now. I-I think we should tell the staff. For transparency’s sake, y’know? What d’you think?” Sydney’s pacing in the kitchen. She took off her shirt after spilling coffee all over it and has yet to go grab a new one. Carmy’s very much enjoying the view of his girlfriend only dressed in a burgundy bra and jeans.

It takes a minute for him to peel off his eyes from her torso and meet her gaze. “You were the one that suggested for us to take it slow, so it’s your decision. ‘m cool with whatever, Syd.” His eyes drifted down back to her smooth exposed skin.

“God, you're such an unhelpful perv,” she throws her dirty shirt at his face, he catches just in time, grinning. “I’m being serious, Carm. We’re their boss and-and our relationship could make things, like, awkward or impact the business, alright? We have to be careful.”

“We’re being careful, Syd. As careful as a relationship between two chefs who run a restaurant together can go,” he shrugs. “We don’t have to tell them, if you’re feeling so pressured about it. We can keep things low and wait for a better opportunity.”

She sighs, halting the pacing. “I know that our private life is our business only and all that, but I don’t know,” it’s her time to shrug, coming closer. Carmy immediately pushes his chair back, beckoning her to sit on his lap; she gladly complies. “I really feel like we owe them transparency about the change in our relationship.”

Carmy hums, occupied kissing and biting her neck.

“God, you are a perv,” she’s giggling, squirming in his arms. “C’mon, Carm. Or we’re gonna be late again.”

“Oh, here’s something that I learned in therapy,” he stops his ministrations on her neck, leaning back on the chair to look at her. “It’s okay to care and worry about things, but you can’t let that dictate how you live your life.”

“Oh, yeah? Please say more, Doctor Freud.” Sydney is grinning; returning his lustful gaze through her thick, long lashes. Makes a show of biting her bottom lip.

“Be a little shit about it, Syd.” He rolls his eyes, manhandling Sydney on his lap. He tightens his hold of her, stands up; carrying her bridal style. “I’m gonna show you something real Freudian.”

They’re late for work, again.

A ‘better opportunity’ ends up presenting itself a few days later on the biweekly original staff’s meeting. Something that Richie, of all people, suggested to improve their communication and teamwork; a safe space—except for Fak, as Richie proclaimed as the self-proclaimed HR—to throw ideas and voice your complaints. It proved to be a success so far.

“Does anyone have anything else to add?” Carmy asks, looking up from his clipboard. They’re on the front of the house, an hour after closing. “Alright. Sydney.” He doesn’t elaborate, just waits. She’s sitting beside Natalie, laughing about something.

“Yeah?”

“Didn’t you have something to say?”

She’s momentarily lost, chuckles nervously when she realizes what he’s referencing. “Oh. You wanna do this right now?”

“Now’s as good a time as any,” he nods. Only under torture would Carmy ever admit out loud that putting Sydney on the spot like that was his way to get payback from her not shutting down immediately a customer’s repeatedly attempts to flirt with her earlier. The man really had the audacity to come to their restaurant to flirt with his girl.

“Carm…” She stands up, comes close. “Are you sure?”

“You were the one that suggested, Syd. Are you sure?” He’s slightly aware that he’s probably being shitty right now, but Sydney only gives him a pointed look, shakes her head and turns around to face the staff.

“Fucking spill it already, Syd. We all wanna go home,” Richie urges, nonchalantly dusting his lapels. The rest of the staff makes noises of agreement.

“We, uhh. I-I mean, me and Carmy, we’re… uhh,” she looks around the room, scratching her brow. Her eyes land on his and she takes a deep breath, facing the crew once again. “We’re dating.” Her voice comes out firm. “We’ve been dating for about three months now and we just thought to, like, tell you about it for transparency’s sake. Yeah.” She finishes, nodding.

The room is silent for some uncomfortable seconds.

“Kinda late for an April’s Fool joke, no?” As always, Richie’s the first one to voice his thoughts.

“Three months?” Natalie says, stunned.

“Mami, what about the guy you were seeing?” Tina asks, scrunching her eyebrows. “What’s his name? Alex?” Carmy turns to Sydney, who absolutely refuses to look at him.

“Who’s Alex, Syd?” He inquires.

“It was, like, two dates, T.” She ignores him. “And Richie, you’re always calling us mom and dad. What do you mean by April’s Fool joke?”

“Yeah. As a joke, Syd. You’re not even his type,” Richie sniffs.

“I’m sorry?” Sydney barks at the same time Carmy goes “Richie. Shut the fuck up!” The older man puts his hands up in mocked surrender. “Sydney. Who the fuck is Alex?”

“Yo, Syd. Weren’t you the one saying that dating in the workplace was weird and inappropriate?” Marcus asks and there’s something in his voice that forces Carmy to look between the two of them. Sydney seems mortified, scratching her brows again.

“Y-Yeah. I, hm, did say that.”

“What about Claire, Carmy? I thought you were trying to get back with her.” Of course Fak would feel the need to mention his ex in the conversation, as if the whole thing wasn’t uncomfortable enough as it was.

“We broke up months ago, Fak. I haven’t seen her since.”

“I think it was more than two dates with the Alex guy, Syd. I ran into you guys once and there were at least two times that you showed up late,” Gary offers, resting his chin on his hand.

“That was a, hm, a different guy, Sweeps.” Carmy almost has a whiplash due to how fast he whips his head around to look at her. So, at some point she saw two different guys and there was something between her and Marcus? And he didn’t know about it?

“Everybody, shut the fuck up,” Natalie demands and the room goes quiet. “So, you’re actually dating each other? Dating as in dating? Not an elaborate prank or something?” She inquires, looking suspiciously between the two of them.

“Yes!” They answer at the same time.

“Okay… I have questions. How did that happen?” Natalie crosses her arms.

“That’s none of your business, Sugar,” Carmy says, starts to blush.

“Which sounds like a code to we were fucking this whole time. Wait a min—holy shit. They’ve been using the working on the menu thing excuse to fuck around!” Richie puts his fist in front of his mouth, laughing. When Carmy and Sydney stutter a retort at the same time, his laughter grows louder. “I can’t fucking believe it!”

“That’s an HR violation, Richie.” Marcus offers, seemingly taking pity on them.

“Well, Syd and Cousin over here walked themselves into this one.”

“Oh, just like you walked into my knife, Richie?”

“Point taken.” Once again, he puts his hands up in mocked surrender.

“Richie, are you allergic to shutting the fuck up or something?” Natalie groans. “I still have questions! How did no one find out? Like, none of you were not even remotely suspicious about these two?” She looks around, all the staff shaking their heads.

“We decided to take things slow, y’know?” Sydney finally manages to say, looking at Carmy for support; he nods. “We wanted to keep our personal life, well, personal, but also keep things professional. This, hm, conversation was supposed to be for transparency and to assure all of you that nothing changes.”

“I feel like a lot has changed, to be honest.” Marcus mutters and Carmy need this conversation to be over so he can inquire Sydney about whatever the fuck happened between them. She’s currently sending guilty looks towards Marcus.

Angel clasps his hands together, “alright, just to get this straight and wrap this up. You guys are dating, right?” 

“Oh my god, yes!” Sydney sounds almost exasperated now.

“Congratulations?” Ebraheim offers.

“Can we go now?” Manny points towards the door.

“Hold on! I’m still not buying it.” Richie opens his mouth one more time and Carmy deems that he had enough. He puts his clipboard down, walks to Sydney, holds her face with both hands and kisses her.

He doesn’t care how out of character the public display of affection is from them. This was supposed to be a ‘just crossing some things out of our list’ kind of conversation, but of course they turned into a full circus. So now, he was going to give them a proper show.

“That is an HR violation,” Richie proclaims when the couple are breaking apart. “Expect to hear from me tomorrow.” With that, the staff starts gathering their things to leave.

“Just so you know, I’m not done with you two.” Natalie faux threatens with a smile.

“You have yet to answer me who’s Alex.” They’re back at their kitchen. Sydney’s sitting at the counter wearing her favorite faded Snoopy t-shirt, no bra this time, and a black sweatpants she stole from him, while Carmy is shirtless, his only item of clothing being a gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips; fixing supper for them.

“Christ! He’s just some guy, Carm. I met him twice – it didn’t go anywhere,” she groans. “Before you ask, the guy Sweeps was talking about is Mike. He’s an old colleague from CIA. We had a date, hooked up once and that was it.” Carmy’s left eye twitches with Sydney being so dismissive of this information. He’s trying so hard to not let his jealousy take over him. “And both of them happened way before you confessed your feelings for me.”

He nods, he knows that. When he finally got the courage to ask Sydney out on a real date and be honest about his feelings, things moved pretty quickly between them and they’ve been together ever since. “What about Marcus?”

“Oh!” He looks back, catches her fidgeting with a loose thread of the sweatpants and biting her lip. “He… sorta asked me out before the opening on Friends and Family,” she says all at once, taking a steadying breath after. “That’s why he, hm, kinda snapped at me.” Whatever she sees on his face when she looks up has her putting her hands up and shaking her head, adding quickly, “but we’re good now! It’s water under the bridge, y’know?”

Carmy only nods again, moving to set down the table.

“Are you mad?”

“Not with you, but mostly jealous,” he mutters, avoiding her eyes.

“What if I told you that you look real hot right now, all bothered and jealous?” She murmurs against his left shoulder blade, both of her hands resting against his pecs.

“Sydney.”

“Carmen.” She plants a kiss on his nape, still holding his pecs. “I didn’t tell you about it for the same reason you don’t talk about Claire – there’s no point. It’s in the past.” Sydney moves her hands to hug his waist properly, resting her head on his back. He covers her hands, where they’re laying against his stomach, with his own.

“Next time a customer flirts with you, you better tell them to fuck off ‘cause you have a boyfriend.” Carmy not only hears, but feels the tremble of Sydney’s laughter.

“Oh, so that’s what that was about.” She untangles herself from him and he immediately misses the comfort of her warmth; turns around to grab her hips, keeping her close. “I was wondering why you were being so distant during service and then decided, out of the blue, to tell the staff about us. So, you’re both jealous and possessive, huh?”

“You shouldn’t play with fire, Sydney.”

“I’m not afraid of getting myself burned, Carmen.”

#the bear #carmy x sydney #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #fanfiction #y writes

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 3

Hunter: Knock, knock.  Omega: Who's there?  Hunter: Boo!  Omega: Boo who?  Hunter: Why are you crying?  Omega: I'm not crying Hunter: Hello notcrying, I'm Hunter. 

Wrecker: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza.  Tech: So, you’re not going to share?  Wrecker: I’m not going to share.

Echo: What happened?!  Hunter: Do you want the long version or the short version?  Echo: Sh-short??  Hunter: Shit's fucked.  Echo: Okay, long.  Hunter: Shit's very fucked.

Crosshair, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.  Wrecker: You're kinda ugly. 

Hunter: Be careful about succumbing to these sorts of destructive... urges. Addiction can be a powerful thing.  Crosshair: So am I. Bow down before your new supreme overlord, bitches.

Tech: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.  Omega: Well, that was entirely predictable.  Tech: One of them punched a gang member.  Omega: Echo?  Tech: Crosshair, actually.  Omega: Oh, that was going to be my second guess. 

Wrecker: How’s practice going?  Crosshair: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.  Wrecker: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.  Crosshair: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.  Wrecker: Don’t tell me how to live my life. 

Tech: What's two plus two?  Omega: Math.  Tech: ...I will accept that answer. 

Echo: If you water water, it grows.  Omega: ...What.  Hunter: He’s got a point.  Crosshair: And here we see Hunter and Tech in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.  Hunter: Gaelic bread.  Tech: Grueling brad.  Hunter: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

Crosshair: You're a lying piece of shit!  Hunter: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!  Wrecker: I'm leaving and I'm taking Tech with me!  Echo, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Echo, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Tech: But how- Echo, ignoring him: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Omega, texting Tech: I’m a theif.  Tech: Thief.  Omega: Theif.  Tech: I before E except after C.  Omega: Thceif.  Tech: NO.

Echo: What’s your body count?  Crosshair: Do you mean sex or murder?

Tech: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

Tech: *yawns*  Phee: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.  Tech: Then you must be exhuasted.  Hunter: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Crosshair: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!  Echo: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.  Crosshair: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?  Echo: Somehow that's worse.

Tech: *accidentally eats something too spicy so his eyes start to water*  Omega: Tech, look at me. It's okay. I would die for you. I love you so much. You're the best person I know.  Tech: I'm not crying?  Omega, hugging Tech's head: Shush baby, it's okay. Hunter is here and he loves you with his whole heart.

Hunter: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!  Crosshair: This unmitigated poppycock?  Wrecker: Extravagant hogwash!  Hunter: Okay, stop.

Wrecker: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Phee recently.  Tech: No, Wrecker, it's not what it looks like, I swear.  Wrecker: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?  Tech: No! You’re the only one for me.  Wrecker: Is that so?  Tech: I promise! Phee and I are just dating, okay? She’s my partner.  Wrecker: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?  Tech: You are still my one and only best friend! She’s just the love of my life, nothing more!  Wrecker: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?  Tech: Of course bro!  Wrecker: Bro...  Phee: What the-

Wrecker: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.  Omega: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

Hunter: When do you usually go to sleep?  Echo: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Crosshair: What are you doing here?  Wrecker: I could ask you the same question.  Crosshair: I live here. This is my house.  Wrecker: I should probably ask you a different question. 

Hunter: What’s the status up here? Crosshair: Fucked up, about to die, Tech's a nerd. The usual.

Wrecker: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.  Wrecker: And I started thinking.  Wrecker: Like, it was just trying to get food.  Wrecker: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?  Hunter: Are you ok?

Echo: *out cold on the ground*  Hunter: Oh my god, do you think he’s okay?!  Crosshair, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Echo’s face*

Crosshair: What do I get?  Wrecker: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.  Crosshair: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.  Wrecker: It won't be you.  Crosshair: I'll get my coat. 

Tech: I think I need a hug...  Wrecker: Good thing I'm hug shaped!  *45 minutes later*  Tech: You... you can let go now.  Wrecker: No, I absolutely cannot. 

Hunter: Why are you drinking?  Echo: I drink when I'm depressed.  Hunter: But you're always drinking?  Echo: *smug grin* 

Hunter, texting: Wrecker, will you please go to sleep?  Wrecker, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?  Hunter, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!  Hunter, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?  Wrecker, texting: I’m trying  Hunter, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH  Hunter, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :) 

Omega: The time to act is now.  Omega: Wink, wink.  Tech: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.  Omega: Oh, sorry.  Omega: Wink. 

*Wrecker falls over* Hunter: Wrecker! Are you alright? Wrecker: Is that you, God? Hunter: What? Wrecker: It's just, you sound a lot more like Hunter than I expected.

Echo: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.  Echo: *waves his finger and sings like he’s in a Disney Channel intro*

Crosshair, trying to comfort Omega: What’s the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I’ve been there.

Wrecker: Look, Tech, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and it's Monday.

Echo: :) Crosshair: >:( Echo: Turn that frown upside down! Crosshair: ):&lt; Echo: Not sure what I was expecting...

Hunter, texting Tech: *sends a voice message* Tech, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? Hunter: No, don’t worry, just listen later. *later* Tech: *presses play* Hunter's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

Tech: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here. Hunter: Wrecker is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Tech. Wrecker: I feel like Tech is the more responsible one of us two though. Tech: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control. Wrecker: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Omega: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Hunter, watching Echo screaming, Crosshair trying to set a sleeping Tech on fire, and Wrecker choking on air: I don't know either.

Crosshair, laying in bed: Get out of my room. Hunter, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.

#incorrect quotes #bad batch #star wars #tbb #incorrect bad batch quotes #to drown the sorrows <3

[hellsbelflowers]

what did I do at my prom? socialize? dance, even? absolutely not. I stood in the corner, looked at the whales, and thought about what the poets would do if they were there

(this was at the aquarium btw)

Charlie: actively dancing, running around, indulging in some tomfoolery and shenanigans, definitely would've forced the poets to take the 360 videos and it would be the hottest thing ever

Meeks & Pitts: yes they are individuals but they wouldn't leave each other's sides so they go together. they would be looking at the fish the whole time but they might dance together if a decent song came on

Cameron: sitting down at one of the tables, watching people's stuff, and complaining about the music (me too, cam, me too)

Neil: would be very aware of how uncomfortable Todd is in the place since it's super loud and crowded, so he'll take Todd to the corner and look at the fish with him where it's a bit quieter. he'll let Todd squeeze his hand, and he'll only leave to dance for a few minutes at a time (wouldn't go until they find someone Todd can hang out with so he's not alone) would go absolutely bonkers on the dancefloor though it would be hilarious

Todd: has never wanted to leave a place so badly, but there are a few good moments like goofing around with the poets that would make him laugh harder than he has in a while, and really his friends are all there for him and he lets them be and they're just like his safe haven. and just MAYBE Neil could convince him to dance with him at some point

Knox: we all know what he'd be trying to do cannonically, but I refuse to accept that creep ass behavior so I'll say he's trying to stop charlie from doing anything too horrendous or illegal. someone has to do it.

Chris: would dance some and she'd be super cute, sit down and converse with her friends, be super chill y'know. i actually think she and Todd would be drinking lemonade together and watching Neil and Ginny going crazy

Ginny: the opposite of chill really. would have taken her shoes off within the first five minutes so she can go wild (maybe join charlie in some shenanigans) dance with Neil ofc (I love chaotic Neil and Ginny duo), would dance with chris too and spin her around and never stop telling her how beautiful she is

they all would have gone out to dinner beforehand and the group pics would be super cute they'd jokingly take some of those cheesy couple ones were one of them has their arms around the others waist but it would be so funny to them that they'd just be cracking up in those photos

WOULD catch a genuinely cute candid moment with Todd and Neil fixing each other's ties tho 🥹

#dead poets society #dps headcanons #neil perry #todd anderson #charlie dalton #richard cameron #chris noel #ginny danburry #stephen meeks #gerard pitts #knox overstreet

[yanban-san]

Alright but they way that my tiny touch-starved being is, I can imagine how comfy hugs are from each set of twins-

Plain ol’ twins; just barely hiding in their coats as they hug you from the front-

Droids; might be a lil cold from the metal but I bet they got some heat core tomfoolery to warm the both of us up-

Eldritch; I’ve always wanted to know what hugs from shadows and feathers both feel like, just being lost in their innumerable wings, claws, scales and whatnot- every hug could be different depending on the day!

Driders; fluffy back and legs + the little clicks and buzzes they make when they’re happy, sign me up-

Hydreigons; wrapped up in their six wings to the point where you can’t tell human from hybrid-

I want ALL OF THEM to help my attention-starved existence. Thank you for listening to my Ted talk.

-lemon tea anon 🍋 🍵

Honest to god that's how I feel 🥲 Lemme just have hugs from my boys, pretty please-

I always thought the image of the twins having a small darling would be really cute- Like Emmet is hugging you and then he just wraps his long coat around you and you're squirming trying to escape while he's laughing- A Depot agent comes up to see what all the commotion is about and Emmet shushes them, telling them to be real quiet like- Before he asks the Depot Agent if they'd like... to purchase... a Darling- And swishing his coat open to reveal you glaring at him. Woe be unto the Depot Agent that actually tries to purchase you though. You're priceless to your sweethearts, after all. Ingo loves hugging you, or using you in the middle of the day as a pillow to squeeze while he rests his head. He'll wrap both of you in his coat- It makes a lovely impromptu blanket.

I decided to say the 'droids have quantum computers inside of them- But if you don't know, quantum computers... In their current states require temperatures as close to absolute zero as we can possibly get in order for them to work. So if they do have qubits running their brains, they are probably venting a lot of heat all the time- Especially because they have a generator inside of them as well. Hugging them is toasty, and during the Summer they are extra toasty. Of course they also run on pokemon-logic, so maybe they just have some NeverMeltIce jammed into those processors of theirs. I have also been playing around with some- Dare I say, body horror- that might get invoked with their physical interactions with their darling. But I digress; Their hugs are generally toasty, and they will grab you from afar to pull you in for one.

Eldritch boys just constantly hold you. The rare times you're alone, you can almost always feel their presence- Lurking in the shadows and out of sight- And sometimes you get pulled into darkness when you step into the shadows- Only to find yourself in Gear Station, being held by Ingo. "I missed you," He explains, tendrils and shadows coiling around you. His body dripping with the inky void that makes up his true form. Emmet grows jealous, and takes you away the moment he can. Whining as he holds you against him, a thousand voices wondering why you didn't ask him to come cuddle you too? He wants your affections- He's far softer than his brother, and prettier too! And then they spend your sleeping hours curled around you, a bed of fluffy feathers and scales and ink and light, cradling you in their claws and arms- Their precious soulmate. Their darling soulmate.

Driders have a difficult time with the hugging thing- Humans are much shorter than them, and though they have their four arms and their pedipalps, it's difficult for them to hug you- But you can hug them easily, especially if you're riding on their back. It's a place of honor, really- To be allowed on their fluffy back side, cuddling them while being carried everywhere. Their only complaint is that they cannot look at you. Though that is easily fixed. They can hug you easily by placing you in a hammock of webbing, or trapping you under them... They can also carry you- Supporting you in one set of arms and hugging you close with the other pair, kissing you with their spider mouths.

The hydreigon boys have an easy time hugging you- You just have to avoid being nommed on by them. Being bitten is their love language. Bite them back. They'll bite you in their sleep, they'll bite you while they're awake- They'll trap you in a cage of their wings, enjoying the fright on your face- That looks to them like adoration. Together, the six wings become twelve, and they lock you against them- Snapping at each other if they think the other is causing you discomfort. They kiss you, nursing on your skin, refusing to let up- Nesting with you in a lovely bed they've prepared of furs and moss and bones and flowers, while your feet are wrapped up in their tails.

#Ingo X Reader #Emmet X Reader #Emmet/Reader #Ingo/Reader #Eldritch AU #Hydreigon AU #Drider AU #Monster AU #Seth.asks #Seth.anon #Lemon Tea Anon #Hello Lemon Tea! #monster submas #Hugging

[cerealmonster15]

Valentine's Day is for the Besties [TWST]

[Ao3 Link]

Wordcount: 1,853

Summary: The Heartslabyul boys go on a picnic together.

Note: there's a specific ref to something trey says in his platinum birthday story here and it might be kind of weird w/o that context but you also don't need to have read it to read this lol / it's not any sort of lore spoilers [see ao3 for additional notes and tags!]

“BOYS!” Cater clapped his hands together from where he stood in the room’s entryway, Trey entering in from behind him.

Riddle looked up from the textbook he had been tutoring Ace and Deuce from. “Cater, you don’t need to be so loud. It’s only the three of us in here.”

Ace looked welcome to the distraction. “Yo, if it isn’t our favorite pair of juniors! What’s up?”

Cater strode his way into the room and hopped up onto the table’s edge to take a seat, kicking his feet back and forth in the air with a giddy smile. 

Riddle sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “...Cater. If you're going to be so bold as to interrupt so casually like this, I assume you must have something important to say, yes?”

“Of COURSE I do!” Cater smiled innocently, while Trey offered a more apologetic smile beside him. “A very important question, actually!”

“On with it, then.”

“Do any of you…” Cater pointed at each boy in the room to punctuate every word, “...have a date for Valentine’s Day tonight?”

Riddle’s jaw dropped. Was THAT really what Cater came in to ask? He interrupted their study session for frivolous gossip!? Honestly, while Cater should know better, Riddle also could not say he was surprised by such tomfoolery, either.

Before he could complain, however, Ace immediately spoke up. “I know for a fact that Loosey-Deucey here doesn’t!”

“Hey!” Deuce protested with a scowl. “What makes you think I don’t have a date?!”

Ace crossed his arms and flashed Deuce a smug grin. “Do you?”

…

…

…

“...No.” Deuce admitted with a sigh, which only made Ace laugh obnoxiously loud. 

“Come on now, Ace. Don’t bully Deuce,” Trey chided. “After all… I seem to remember you telling one of the other dorm members how you were probably going to spend your evening tonight skulking around the Heartslabyul kitchen to mooch off desserts for people baking last minute for their dates. That doesn’t sound like the plans of a guy with a date of his own, does it?”

Ace gasped in shock at both Trey’s smug grin that matched his own from moments before, and at the sudden attack on his life. “WH- Hey! C’mon, everyone knows Valentine’s Day’s for lame suckers, anyway! Why do I need a date to worry about when I can just take it easy and do whatever I want instead?”

“Okay, so no date for Acey, either? Great!” Cater ignored Ace’s following protests and turned to Riddle. “And what about our super cute housewarden? Got any exciting plans?”

Riddle’s face went bright red and he quickly turned away from the group to avoid eye contact, pretending to busy himself out tidying the study guides strewn about the table. “I-I see no reason to distract myself with such things, that’s all…”

Ace snorted. “Your standards would probably be impossible to meet, anyway.”

Riddle’s flustered look was instantly replaced with one of annoyance. He straightened up, placed his hands on his hips, and scowled down at where Ace sat at the table. “And just what do you mean by that, Ace?!”

Ace snickered again and ducked behind Deuce. “Uh oh, I think I struck a nerve with him!”

“Quit it, Ace!” Deuce complained, trying to squirm out of Ace’s evil clutches on his shoulders.

“Shh, shh, no need to fuss, gentlemen!” Cater waved his hands dismissively and kept up his bright, peppy grin amidst the discourse in the room. “The stars have aligned, and they’re telling us we do have plans tonight - together!”

Ace paused his bickering with Riddle and Deuce to raise an eyebrow at Cater. “Huh?”

“Cater wants to go on a picnic,” Trey clarified. “We thought it might be fun to go as a group, that’s all.”

“...Well,” Riddle once again straightened his posture and pretended that he wasn’t about to break out into a full-on brawl with Ace moments ago. He cleared his throat and faced Cater with a poised, neutral expression. “You could have simply started with that, Cater.”

“Aw, but where’s the fun in that?”

“Regardless,” Riddle continued, “I can’t say I’m opposed to the idea. I’ve never been on a picnic before, though, so I will have to look into the proper preparations.”

“I’ve never been on a picnic, either,” Deuce quietly admitted.

“Perhaps you and I should head over to the school’s library for some guide books together before we go.”

Cater and Ace made eye contact with each other and sighed in solidarity of the sheer goofy behavior their friends were exhibiting. Thank god the social skills masters were here to save their lives and prevent them from an overthinking spiral into madness.

A few hours of avoiding the library and hovering around Trey in the kitchen later, the five of them made their way to a cute little clearing that Cater had scouted out earlier that week. A prime location for taking cute pictures with your friends that you could look back on in the later years, for sure. 

“This is a pretty sweet spot you scoped out, Cater!” Ace commented as he and Cater pulled out the picnic blankets to spread for everyone to sit on. 

“It is a rather picturesque location,” Riddle agreed, standing with his arms hanging by his sides, looking unsure of what to do. The setting was much more casual than their usual unbirthday parties, and both Cater and Ace had insisted there were no rulebooks for such a situation… How was he to know how to behave without explicit directions!?

“Aw, thanks, guys!” Cater beamed. “And I just KNOW we’ll have the cutest pics for magicam. We’ve got it all! The perfect setting carefully curated by yours truly, super photogenic snacks - thanks Trey, BTW - and the smiling faces of the cutest company a guy could ask for on Valentine’s day.” 

Cater punctuated his statement with his most charming wink and blew a kiss to the group.

Riddle sighed, Deuce nearly dropped the box of truffles he was holding, and Ace let out the loudest, most dramatic gagging noise he could possibly muster.

“Alright, come on, now,” Trey laughed. “You’ll have plenty of time to drive each other crazy while you’re eating. You want it while it’s still fresh.”

“Ugh, whatever dad.” Ace rolled his eyes and sat down on the grass, promptly stealing a truffle out of the box Deuce was still holding.

“Hey!” Deuce protested, shoving Ace out of reach with his free hand.

“Boys,” Riddle scowled as Cater pulled him down to sit on the blanket between him and Trey. “Save your dessert for last, and no roughhousing! We may be outside, but you still need to mind your manners.”

“Yes, housewarden…” The two mumbled as they reluctantly pulled away from each other but still made sure to flash each other a not-so-stealthy stink-eye. 

“But before we eat,” Cater interjected, “we’ve gotta take a nice pic with all the food out and arranged so nicely! It would be a shame not to capture the hard work we put into making it all look cute, don’tcha think?”

Riddle’s stomach rumbled.

“...Y-yes, well…” Avoiding the amused stares, Riddle hurriedly gestured for Ace and Deuce to come into frame where Cater was angling his phone camera. “Let’s do it quickly, while everything is still fresh, as Trey said.”

A few more seconds and clicks of the camera shutter later, it was finally time to eat. Cater, of course, was too distracted with picking which photo to upload to Magicam to start.

“...Cater,” Trey gently nudged his elbow against Cater’s ribs. “We made those pepper poppers especially for you, you know.”

Cater squirmed away from Trey’s judgemental gaze. “I know, I know! I’ll eat some in juuust a sec- help me pick which one to upload!”

Ace leaned over Cater’s shoulder and pointed at the phone with his already half-eaten sandwich. “Oooh, what about that one? Prim and proper Housewarden’s mid-blink; that’ll get you rarity points.”

“Excuse me?!” Riddle opened his mouth to argue, but froze before he could even begin to speak. His eyes slid to the space beside Ace and locked onto something in Trey’s hand. 

A mustard bottle…

Simultaneous flashbacks spawned within the minds of all present. Every member of Heartslabyul was all too familiar with the week where Trey Clover descended into a mustard madness, trying harder every day to force his taste buds to adjust to liking, or even simply tolerating such a common condiment. It got to the point that Trey would have added mustard to his next cake, had it not been for the intervention of the collective dormmates. He’d calmed down after that, and everyone thought that was the end of it… But here they were, and there was the mustard.

“...Trey, what’cha got there?” Cater asked after a few more seconds of silence and began shifting across the picnic blanket. “I totally love spicy mustard, and it’s so sweet of you to pack it for us. Wanna hand me that bottle…?”

“Hear me out!” Trey protested, hand going for the mustard cap. “I promise I’m not going to try and squirt it all over the desserts or anything like that. We have a lot of sandwiches, and that’s a perfectly reasonable food to spread a little mustard on, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, for people who actually like mustard,” Ace said, following Cater’s lead and reaching for the bottle. “Give it.”

“You don’t have to do this to yourself, Trey,” Deuce added. “But it’s honorable that you want to change yourself for the better! Maybe I should follow your example and not pick out the bell peppers from my salad…”

Riddle shook his head and put a hand on Deuce’s shoulder. “There’s no need for either of you to be so drastic.”

“You almost tried that last time, too,” Ace added. “Two weird food martyrs aren’t gonna fix anything!”

Cater’s hand was on top of Trey’s. “Trey, hon, just let go of the bottle, and it’ll all be alright.”

Trey sighed and relinquished the mustard. “It’s really not as big a deal as you’re all making it out to be. No need for another intervention, okay?”

Cater pat Trey on the back with a smile. “Right, riiiight, it’s all good now, bestie.”

“Cater.”

“Okay! Crisis averted!” Cater shuffled back across the blanket towards the sandwich platter and away from Trey’s disapproving stare. “Now someone please help me decide on a pic to upload!”

After a couple of hours filled with photo picking, snacking, laughing, and of course, lots of bickering, it was time to pack up and return to the dorm. Cater, of course, needed to stop every few minutes and take another picture of the sky as the sun sunk below the horizon. 

They arrived back at the dorm after dark, but they arrived together, having nearly forgotten the reason they’d chosen to go out on that day in particular in the first place. Heartslabyul was known for being one of the more socially extroverted dorms, after all, and for good reason.

Because in Heartslabyul, you are never truly alone.

#twisted wonderland #twst #heartslabyul #riddle rosehearts #cater diamond #trey clover #ace trapola #deuce spade #cereal writes

[f0xgl0v3]

ToA: Hidden Oracle, silly thoughts?

I finished the book! I also had some thoughts about it and some things floating around in my head, so let’s get to start. (A note for context, barely any idea what happens in the other books, I know the very basic like rough rough outline of the plot.)

First off, Austin’s YouTube channel. This one upset me so much when I read it and it’s so silly. Austin in his first appearance mentions his view count on a saxophone YouTube video. A monumental feat I’m pretty sure but also. The entire book drives in the idea that all the camps/demigods/demigod adjacents have been having trouble with anything internet or communications related. No one can call, text, video face time, Iris message, even physical mail isn’t working. So how is Austin able to YouTube? It’s an entire platform dedicated to communication, and demigods canonically can’t use much modern technology because it monster beacons. Is Austin risking the safety of camp to the monsters that live inside Camp’s forest every time he saxophones? If that is true then he skyrockets in my ToA character appreciations so far.

Now the actual stuff that I bookmarked in the book. This isn’t everything obviously (I marked a lot of stupid stuff like and mention of Harley or the talking arrow dialogue just to go back for laughs so obviously this is a summary of the more important stuff).

The actual content

(I forget to put page numbers after the 1st one)

Feral demigods! Mentioned on page 23 we get a confirmation that there are indeed demigods who are never found (which probably was a given) and the fact they have their own name. Also a set time where it’s most likely that monsters start their tomfoolery when a demigods is 13 (this puts Frank, and Leo, and Piper to still be funky.)

New Rome university specifics! Hehehe new Rome but we also get the introduction of the DSTOMP (the demigod standard test for mad powers). All we know is that there is a music and poetry analysis segment, but we can probably assume that each God (or important Roman God more likely) designed a segment of the test.

Ouranos mentioned of his face? It brings up what state Ouranos is in, how that works and affects him, if he’ll ever reform and that also brings up Gaea because they Ouranos’ed Gaea- albeit in a much different way but still.

Apollo recognizes that Octavian wasn’t the one at fault, even if he doesn’t voice it but at least Octavian gets mentioned, this is totally important enough.

Said that headaches on Olympus are from Gods and Goddesses in a Gods mind that were to be extracted via Hephaestus head splitting, how many immortals are we unaware of that have been formed this way?

Athena thinks that Olympus is going to move to Brazil at some point. Worth noting.

Demeter doesn’t often fall in love with mortals *OFTEN, IM SORRY I DIDNT TYPE. DEMEMTER DOESNT OFTEN FALL IN LOVE WITH MORTALS*. The myths seem to support this, but also that Meg is unusually powerful in relation to Demeter kids who “could do little more than make crops grow and keep bacterial fungi at bay” though considering some of the things that Miranda does near the end throws a karpoi into that statement. Along with that a could pages later we are noted that the Greek forms are indeed stronger (which also seems like a given, but brings up if their even older forms are more powerful.) and seemingly implied confirmation and gods can only claim you if you are in the right camp/domain area. As Apollo mentions that it couldn’t be Ceres because Demeter claimed Meg at CHB, and Meg is powerful.

Apollo mentions other deities (and science) also keeping the sun on track. But especially mentions Sol and the wolves (along with making Aztec and possibly all other mezzo American gods canon to pjo universe). However; and forgive me if I’m wrong. Sol is Helios’s counterpart and I know that Helios is currently chilling in an Ichor vat at the moment, so how is this..? Could possibly just be because Helios and his fading thing wasn’t thought of (even though he still is widely popular in this day and age) during Hidden Oracle’s writing, but still, I don’t.. like? Brain doesn’t function this.

Hades has a haunted house and also for the funsies canonically would sneak up on Apollo using shadow travel and make him mess up on plague arrow shots. Based on my knowledge of Hades I can only assume these were not malicious.

Harley is one of my favorites I love him so much he’s baby.

Upon listing demigods Apollo had seen turn against Olympus he mentions the Tantalus situation, King Mithridates, Clytemnestra and Agamemnon. Though this implied that Mithridates would be a demigod along with either Clytemnestra or Agamemnon (who if my memory wants to cooperate, I believe was either a grandson or great grandson of Zeus?) along with mentioning that the human sacrifice was to him. For context I believe Apollo is talking about Agamemnon’s daughter that he sacrificed, though I thought that was to Artemis? Oh well.

We get to see summaries of Octavian’s convincing, which like? It’s serviceable to fuel the imagination. Also feel like he might’ve been genuine in a few of these? They all feel like very Octavian things to believe (the War with CHB being quick and easy; which I don’t think he believed whatsoever. And then raising temples to Apollo and how much support he had, both of which I think were true).

Saturnalia mention. Just had to put it out there because apparently Sherman would’ve won most violent holiday decor. Which, knowing what Saturnalia is it doesn’t make much sense? Anyway probably a Saturnalia/CJ ‘Christmas’ festivities post soon.

We get some descriptors of monsters that are inside the Camp Half-blood woods. The named ones including a two-headed wolf that seems standard, and a DRAKON. I say it again, the giant serpent things which are wild and dangerous, a DRAKON living its best immortal life in CHB woods. Excuse me? And Myrmreke, I love the Myrmreke and I want one as a pet and to kiss on the forehead. They are very cute.

Gyser God oaths. Unsure if this applies to oaths made not just with a Gyser God. But uh, a random Gyser bursting forth from the ground and boiling you sounds like a solid reason to not be making Gyser oaths.

Rhea mentions how God-Emperors are made, this feels like it would imply that other important historical figures also reach some form of immortality (Achilles, Theseus, Elvis Presley, George Washington, the sorts). And what about the other Emperors who were deified? Of the original Octavian and like.. the other ones?

Mentions of how Meg can “hear the trees growing” and the idea that the Muses can hear ink drying of poetry pages? Is this another skill to add upon them, no idea and frankly that sounds painful.

Nero and me have the same laugh I think and I don’t know how to feel about it. The best resources I can give you to visualize my laugh would be looking at Dolphins or Hyena’s. His is described as, “a snide little barking sound in the back of his nose” and I’ll be honest if nose was turned to throat It’d be pretty identical. Felt that was important to add to the ever growing and non important Kleos lore.

Nero mentions how it’s impossible for him to fade now due to being permanently remembered through the internet. Man that’s gonna age poorly in tower of Nero isn’t it? Also God-emperors are like, in a weird limbo esque situation and idk how to feel about that? I can only assume the most comparable thing would be something like New Rome’s Lares, the most noticeable other than Vitellius would be the literal ghost of Cato (I assume the younger) in SoN’s senate meeting. He’s called a ghost but I wouldn’t be surprised if he were to be in this limbo like state.

Nero yelling about the Rome fire was so funny I put three flags on the monologue.

Ellis can identify the location of the Colossus and the fact it’s a war machine. Perhaps similar to the like Percy boat/nautical knowledge he has innately.

We’ve learned that automatons are possibly being fueled by primarily the life force of wind and water spirits like Apollo states which is.. dark. But also like uh, thought they were engineering? Does this imply Festus is powered by a poor nymph or anemoi?

Gatorade can help speed the recovery process of exhaustion due to shadow travel. My only idea is that it is partially due to the electrolytes and that shadow traveling has similar effects to intense long term workouts and that the sugar also helps. Along with the fact that one singular shadow travel has seemed to wear Nico out after we’ve seen him do much bigger feats and take longer to be passing out like this?

The arrow of Dodona is really funny I’m sorry.

The Colossus is mirrored after.. someone? I don’t know they threw around Nero and Apollo’s name when talking about it. This in context with Nero is no surprise but If talking about Apollo it meant that at some point in Rome’s lifespan and potentially more Apollo had sideburns. Take that information as you wish.

Plaguey, plaguey, plaguey.

Apollo mentioning how much humans truly do affect the gods and how much the gods truly don’t like that.

Leo’s back… yay.

I don’t think Patroclus and Brises had any beef. Please media stop potraying them as containing beef I want them to be buddies.

And Calypso’s back. After reading the Odyssey I like her much less. I mean I didn’t like her much to begin with either.

Okay, I might do this for all of the ToA books? It’s a nice way to quickly get thoughts down that wouldn’t naturally give themselves over to a full post, or a good resource for me to check back on things I didn’t like and therefore will be going back and making full posts.

But also this was fun, I tried to take out a lot of the things I marked just because I thought it was funny but like… oh well lol. Good night!

#hehe :3 #pjo hoo toa #ToA #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo Apollo #ToA the hidden oracle #gonna knock out dark prophecy faster #get to see my baby boy Lit #also Thalia again? idk #and Leo.. I’ll be honest I don’t like him #okay bye

[sparkarrestor]

Traintober Day 8: Squawk Shock

Written By: SparkArrester

Bill & Ben were feeling put-upon. A large order of china clay had caused them to be put in overtime, and the worst part of it was that they couldn't pull any jokes, japes, or good natured tomfoolery in days! Their manager tried to keep them calm and entertained, but as time went on, the urge for mischief grew in the twins.

“It’s terrible Bill!” Began Ben one night, “It took every pound of metal in my body not to reverse under the hoppers!”

‘I know!” Comforted Bill, “Life’s been so boring these past few weeks! It's a good thing there’s only a week or two of hard work for us! I’ve got a bucket-list of good stress relievers…”

“But Bill! I don’t think I can wait much longer! I have to do something!”

“...yeah, I definitely cannot wait anymore. We’re going down to Brendam tomorrow, but that begs the question: who shall be the victim…?”

The twins smiled deviously as they went over their targets. But as they went down the list, those smiles dissipated faster than a wisp of smoke. Timothy would be too easy, Marion would be oblivious to anything and everything, Cranky was low-hanging fruit, and BoCo would probably murder them. That left only one possible candidate without heading to the main-line.

“Are you sure Bill?

“Positive.”

“But when was the last time we got him?”

“The day we arrived.”

“That was 3 decades ago!”

“All the more reason to get him!”

The twins simply couldn’t fall asleep after that, and they stayed up all night, planning on a way to get Edward the Blue Engine.

The next morning, Edward was sizzling happily at the harbor station. He was just about to come off of his train and get to the sheds when, creaking and groaning, a line of trucks came crawling past him, with no engine to move them! Timothy, who was on the other line, yelped and banged into some wagons, but Edward just laughed.

“It’s been a while, you two! I can see you’re bringing your A-Game into this!”

Bill and Ben came out of their hiding place and snorted.

“Us, play tricks on you? Don’t be silly Edward.”

Of course, the expression on Ben’s face and the deadpan delivery betrayed everything.

“Come on you two, you’ll get a rest in a week or two! Surely you can wait that long!”

“No. No we can’t”

“So all bets are off then?”

“Yes. Yes they are.”

Edward just smiled.

“Ah well. Good luck to you two!”

“Thanks Edward!”

“Ben, shush!” 

The twins tried all sorts of tricks. They tried adding more wagon’s to Edward’s trains. They tried hiding themselves on his trains with their brakes hard on. They even tried making him a middle engine! But nothing seemed to work. Worse still, each of their schemes took a while to prepare with their workload, so half the time, Edward could guess what they were doing anyways. The twins weren’t the only ones on edge however. Edward was beginning to get tired of always being on guard for any of the twin’s tricks. It got to the point of affecting his work.

“You should stand your ground Edward.” said BoCo a few days later, “Or else it will never end!”

“I know BoCo… but”

“But nothing! I get that the twins need to let out some stress, believe me I’ve gone giddy seeing them scurry round, but boundaries must be set!”

As the two engines were discussing, another pair of engines were also scheming in the night.

“Should we do it?”

“Why not Ben?”

“It seems unfair to weaponize his weakness” “And your point is…?

“...Nevermind. But what about the clay pits? We left the work-half finished!”

“Eh, we can do it later! Now let's get some sleep!”

The next day, Edward was once again at the harbor station as he heard the whistles of Bill and Ben. He sighed and prepared for any tricks, but he was surprised to see something else.

“You two, what on earth are you doing?!”

Bill and Ben were not only pushing the train, but the train was unbraked with no brake-van and dangerously out-of-date stock. It seemed like they were desperate enough to just want a reaction. In that department, they certainly succeeded. But they were heading for trouble. With the trucks in front, they couldn’t see BoCo on their line!

“Watch out!” Shrieked Edward in an uncharacteristically shrill voice.

But it was too late, as both trains collided with one another!

Lucky for them, they didn’t hit BoCo, but rather his train, and being at the back of their train helped them escape any serious damage. But they had something else to deal with. Edward came up to them, but instead of yelling at them, he began belting out unintelligible hoots and squawking! It was a while before he started to speak actual words, and even then, he laid into the twins until they had the paint blistered off of them! BoCo just sat back in awe.

The twins had to stay and clear up the mess. They were looking forward to a nice rest back at the clay pits, but their manager immediately put them to work with the backlog they had left. I think it’ll be another three decades before they even think to play games with Edward again, don’t you?

#ttte #ttte edward #ttte bill #ttte ben #ttte boco #traintober 2023 #woooo I was able to do something!!!!! #I always liked the idea of engines taking on the animal traits of their nicknames #and birds squawk! #spark writes #traintober2023 prompts #traintober #general rws stuff

[ninthhousesteel]

*pushes the door open like my cat at 8am this morning* hello its me again I'm here to bother you >:)

i've been studying with my gf all day together so I'm here to present ronance studying together headcanons

(probably a modern au cos its just easier to figure that out)

-they start trying to study together by going to the library at uni because it's a central location and they usually have class together anyway so it's nice to make a day of it and spend the extra time before or after class together

-however this ends up Not Working At All because they just enjoy each other's company WAY too much and make each other laugh and they're both neurotic/neurodivergent (I know nd is the correct term but neurotic is more fun to say) so focusing is a fucking task and when their pretty funny gf is there to make them smile it's HARD ok it's hard

-they do still try and make it work but nancy is the only one who can get stuff done because she's a fucking studyhound and robin is just goofing off the entire time or fighting her brain to make it focus (it took her 2 weeks to get through 2 lectures)

-they tried bringing in Accountability Buddies like vickie and chrissy and steve and eddie but this also didn't work because while vickie is a diligent studier, chrissy is not and works better alone and also loves messing with robin and vice versa, and besides nancy and chrissy are caffeine addicts and keep getting up to grab coffee for breaks, and vickie and robin keep getting sidetracked into weird theories because they're 2 bitches with adhd what else are they gonna do

-and steve and eddie are Not Studying People; steve kinda is but he's doing a trade apprenticeship and frequently gets distracted and eddie cannot sit still for 10 seconds so he's a nightmare if you sit him down at a table and tell him to be quiet, so that's out

-anyway. so they're bad at stuyding together at uni but they still do it cos its fun and they like hanging out and the illusion of getting work done is nice

-one day tho robin is Not Having It and hasn't left her house cos she's tired but she's still planning to get stuff done; meanwhile nancy is at uni and is complaining cos it's 11am and she's been here since 8 and hasn't gotten anything done, so robin just says 'babe come over we can study here together I have cats' and nancy, for lack of anything better to do and missing her gf's cuddles, says yes and buses over

-armed with takeaway coffee and stress in spades, they curl up on robin's bed and actually??? get stuff done??? there's still plenty of tomfoolery and dumb laughter together, plenty of goofing off, but there's long periods of them both with their noses in uni readings or books or taking notes or making essay plans or occasionally discussing what they're going to do for this next assignment

-nancy grabs one of robin's large stuffed animals and uses it as a backrest against the wall and it gets sufficiently squished and looks very sad

-at some point they're throwing silly jibes at each other and nancy dares robin to make her shut up, so robin gets up and quickly kisses her which makes nancy squeal and hide her face as robin quickly runs off to make tea, cackling the whole way

-robin's two cats wander around the house and curl up on the bed next to them which is very sweet and nancy keeps getting distracted by them

-they change positions across the bed several times but they've always got an arm on the other one or a foot touching someone else's leg or their legs over each other to keep each other grounded while they read things

-once it hits 5:30 they both kind of run out of juice and agree to call it a night and get pizza for dinner and watch conspiracy theory documentaries on robin's laptop while in bed together before passing out

-all in all it's a very successful day and they agree to do it again

i have nothing else to add because these hcs are brilliant!!

#ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #robin x nancy #nancy x robin

[inverswayart]

@vaguely-concerned Part 2, Hyacinth Surana

15. What kind of sense of humor do they have? Or do they have one at all?

She sincerely likes Alistair's jokes :D

I guess her sense of humor depends more on her mental state rather than on some fixed preference - at her best she is pretty easy to make laugh; at her worst she would barely react to the best jokes ever conceived (she still can differentiate when one is supposed to react, she's just barely able to and so defaults to polite remark). On her own she usually adapts to the sense of humor of whoever she speaks with - she does gravitate a little to dry, very matter-of-fact kind of wit though.

20. Do they have a strong connection to their culture?

Depends on which culture to speak of! While she lived as a city, or rather country elf in the beginning of her life she didn't even identify herself as one; while in circle, she, of course, thought herself as circle mage only and was as circle-y as possible. Tho not from the start, but after joining the Wardens she eventually found herself drawn to order’s ideals and purpose, and eventually connection to Wardens overpowered connection to the circle - from Paragon of her Kind and forwards (roughly) she thinks of herself as Warden first and circle mage second (in contrast with Bernard - he is always a circle mage first).

But she is also half-Dalish, and while she longs to learn and touch her mother’s culture, she is painfully aware that she is very, very far from it - at least until she meets Velanna. By teaching her Arcane Warrior ways (and realizing exactly what kind of knowledge it is for Dalish) and being taught some Keeper spells Hyacinth slowly moves closer to connecting with her heritage. It happens even faster in multi-warden AUs where she gets to meet Mahariel - not only Merlin, while wary, is more approachable than Velanna, his vallaslin matches the one Hyacinth’s mother had, and with his aid she starts looking for her (it won’t come to fruition until Inquisition comes around, but they would reunite eventually) 

35. Do they believe in fate or do they believe they are in charge of their own destiny?

Latter! And to the point she feels like Everything that happens around (and beyond) her is at least somewhat depends on her - cue her micromanaging team climate in Origins where she puts way too much thought into team composition, does a lot of helping random people, etc. It bites her very badly after the Battle of Denerim - not only is she left grieving for Alistair, she feels like it's the fault of hers and hers only. She gets a bit better after Awakening - but more in the sense of "stops beating herself up faster" rather then "realizes not literally everything is the result of her actions" She is actually kinda similar with Marinette in that regard - except that with Marinette it manifests as “I have a purpose and I don’t give a shit whatever fate or Maker or anything else decided is supposed to happen, I’m gonna do what i need to do regardless”, i.e. while they both consider themselves fully responsible for everything that happens to them, Hyacinth does not believe in fate and cares about very wide variety of people and things, Marinette cares only about her family and doesn’t even bother to take any predestination into consideration. 

38. What are their dreams like? Do they have any recurring dreams/nightmares?

Before the Broken Circle it’s nothing special - a mix of unremarkable fleeing impressions and occasional tomfoolery by some spirits - tho she did used to have nightmares about being separated from her mother the first few years after arriving in the circle. After Broken Circle, however, she is terrified of the possibility of becoming an abomination, and spends months dreamless sleeping amongst wards (her increasing proficiency in spirit school doesn’t help matters). Only after meeting the ancient spirit in the amulet does she start to relax a bit about it and slowly starts to go back to normal sleep.. and then Alistair dies and it all starts again, now to ward off recurring dreams of him and his death. She gets rid of wards roughly six years later after finally finding peace with her loss.

#ask #vaguely concerned #ask game #dragon age #dragon age origins #dao #f!surana #warden surana #hyacinth surana #tag for words #alistair theirin #velanna #da awakening #tag for OCs

[yoongiseesawmp3]

just about perfect - seonghwa

howdy folks, back with another fic but i’m switching it up on ya! i might start writing regularly for ateez as well so y’all are cool with that right? right.

summary: this is NOT inspired by seonghwa saying he watches nevertheless. why would you even think that.

warnings: not the kind of warning u were expecting but there’s no smut (i know its based off a show abt friends with benefits so that’s why i’m warning u. do not get ur hopes up) a little cussing, a lotta me waxing poetic abt the perfect man park seonghwa. also slight tomfoolery from the teezers

word count: 10.6k

the bookstore just off campus is your current go-to study spot, mostly because the cafe inside has a drink special where you buy one coffee and get a voucher for the new bakery next door. so, let’s just say the past few days you’ve been well caffeinated and well fed. you’re on the way there now, already planning out what your treats are going to be. 

today you were supposed to meet your “study group” after your last class of the day, but it looks like you’re the only one here so far. and you say “study group” loosely, the professor for your music theory elective encouraged everyone to make a study group for the upcoming final and your group of friends chose to work together. there’s been no studying going on, though.

especially not when hongjoong’s new friend seonghwa has been flirting with you literally nonstop. he’s apparently friends with everyone else in your group too. san knows him from an art class they took together last semester, meanwhile wooyoung and yeosang claim they lived on seonghwa’s floor freshman year and he always bought them booze. seonghwa denies it, only because hongjoong would slap him if he admitted to buying alcohol for underage kids. 

tasteful delinquency aside, seonghwa is a fine person. you mean personality fine, not like, fine fine even though san would beg to differ. he knows you’ve developed a thing for seonghwa despite trying not to, and he’s secretly trying to get you two together. 

which is why san suddenly texts you and says he can’t make it, and neither can yeosang or wooyoung. they decided to ditch studying to practice for the final in their dance class instead, so it’ll be just you, seonghwa and hongjoong. and little did you know, hongjoong was trying to do the same thing as san. so we’ll see how this goes. 

- 

“y/n, you can’t do that,” hongjoong warns you, referring to the scale you were trying to fill out. 

“why not?” you ask, looking down at your work and wondering what’s wrong.

“because it’ll sound like shit,” seonghwa replies before sipping his coffee. 

“what he said,” hongjoong agrees, grabbing your paper and erasing some of the notes you had scribbled out. “it should look more like this.”

you glance over at what he’s done on top of your old work and sigh. you took this class because you like music, and you thought learning about how it works would be interesting, but it’s hard. 

“can’t you just do all my work for me?” you plead. at this rate, you don’t think you’ll be able to pass the final. 

“no, i don’t want you dragging me down in this class,” hongjoong replies. “my grades are great.” 

“i hate you.”

“what are you struggling with, y/n?” seonghwa asks as he finally looks up from his laptop. he had been working on an assignment for another class this whole time because he, like hongjoong, is great with music theory. so maybe this study group was a good thing. 

“here, you can switch seats with me,” hongjoong says as he clears the spot next to you on the weathered loveseat. “i’m going to look for a book i should’ve started reading two weeks ago.” 

before you can protest, seonghwa is sliding his laptop across the coffeetable and slides himself into the spot next to you. when he sits you notice your thighs are touching, which is weird because there was plenty of space when hongjoong was here. you don’t know that seonghwa is doing this on purpose, that hongjoon really left so he could flirt with the cute cashier in the cafe to give you and seonghwa some alone time. 

“so,” seonghwa starts once he’s settled. “what are you struggling with?” 

“hmm, all of it?” you reply. your answer makes seonghwa smile, and you like the way his eyes sparkle when he does.

“then i guess we’ll be here a while.”

-

about an hour later, seonghwa has walked you through all the major and minor scales you need to know for the test and you’re starting to understand a little more. you’re still having problems with the back of the study guide where you have to come up with note combinations that can apply to those scales, but you have time to work on that since the final is two weeks out. right now, your brain is fried and you need a break. 

“do you mind if i go get a coffee?” you ask seonghwa, who was in the middle of sending you the minor scale cheat sheet he made. he looks up from his laptop and shakes his head before he speaks.

“i would only mind if i can’t come with you.”

“it’s literally right over there, why do you need to come with me?” you question.

“i think i would just miss you too much,” he pouts, and you roll your eyes. seonghwa shuts his laptop and stands up. “what if i need coffee too?”

“you already had one,” you remind him as you stand.

“yeah,” he nods. “but teaching you is exhausting, so i need another. c’mon.”

he walks ahead of you to the counter, and you’re too busy searching for your wallet to notice he took his jacket off, revealing a sneaky tattoo on the back of his neck. it isn’t until you’re behind him in line that you get a look at the hand drawn star right on the nape of his neck, and you have to refrain from reaching out to trace the lines.

“i didn’t know you had a tattoo,” you decide to say. he turns around and instinctively rubs his hand across the tattoo, smiling at you with those sparkly eyes again.

“yeah, i have a couple,” he replies. “but this one is my favorite.”

“why?”

“because my name means ‘to become a star’, so i like knowing that i have a reminder with me all the time,” he explains.

“nice. it’s really pretty.”

“thanks, so are you.”

“sir?” the barista calls, pulling seonghwa’s attention from you. he steps up to give his order as you stare at the tattoo again, noticing alongside it a couple of freckles that almost make it look like a constellation.

“y/n?” seonghwa’s voice draws you out of your thoughts and you realize he’s finished ordering. “what do you want?”

“oh, i can get it,” you begin, but he cuts you off.

“no, my treat,” he insists, and you sheepishly walk up to the counter to give your order. seonghwa makes a mental note of what you get, and he also snatches the bakery voucher from you before you can put it in your pocket. you make a confused sound and seonghwa laughs. 

“why’d you do that?” you whine.

“you only get to use it if you come with me to the bakery later,” he teases. “say yes or i’m drinking your coffee and getting myself an extra cupcake.”

“fine,” you huff. “but i have an assignment due at midnight, so i can’t stay long.”

“it’s 4pm, that’s not enough time for you to finish it?” he asks while you step out of the way for the next customers.

“i haven’t started yet,” you admit. 

“you like saving things until the last minute, don’t you?”

“what makes you say that?”

“well, it looks like you haven’t been studying music theory at all, and now this,” he shrugs. 

“not everybody can be perfect like you, park seonghwa,” you grumble as the barista places two coffee cups on the bar. you hear seonghwa giggle shortly, and you give him a questioning look.

“so you think i’m perfect?” he smirks.

-

it’s the next day, almost midnight, and you really need spray paint. 

why? well, you’re stressed because you have so much to study for your finals and you don’t know where to start. yes, seonghwa helped yesterday, but he’s not in all your other classes, so you’ve decided you need a break from tearing your hair out over the material you can’t comprehend. the best way to distract yourself from that is to finally paint that dresser you got from a garage sale a few months ago, hence the spray paint. 

thankfully, san is still awake, and he has a car, so you ask him to pick you up for a quick run to the art supply store that’s surprisingly still open. a bonus of going to college in the city, you can get anything almost whenever you need it. 

“thanks for coming to get me,” you tell san as you hop into his car. 

“no problem,” he replies. “i was bored and hongjoong said he needed paint pens so this is a win-win situation. plus, i get to hear about your date with seonghwa yesterday.”

“it was not a date,” you groan, choosing to ignore the suggestive way san is looking at you right now. 

“but you spent the whole afternoon together,” san starts. “he bought you coffee and you went to the bakery together and talked about, like, your favorite colors and stuff. sounds like a date to me.”

“how do you know all that?”

“seonghwa told hongjoong and then hongjoong told me,” he explains as he turns onto the street that’ll take you to the art store. 

“well tell hongjoong that i’m still mad at him for ditching us,” you reply. “and i’m still kinda mad at you and the other two for bailing in the first place.”

“hey, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have had your first date with seonghwa,” san points out.

“it was not a date!” you cry. “we studied most of the time we were together, then he bought my coffee and bullied me into going to the bakery. i couldn’t stay long because i had a paper to write, so we talked about stupid shit until i had to leave.”

“it sounds like the beginning of true love to me,” san sing-songs. 

“stop the car, i’ve decided to walk.”

-

when you get to the store, san separates from you quickly because he sees his friend mingi behind the counter. they’re busy talking while you search the store for the paints, and you’re so busy looking up at the aisle names that you don’t notice you’re about to run into someone. 

“hey-” you start to complain, but you recognize the man you almost bumped into. “oh, seonghwa.”

“y/n,” he smiles at you. “what are you doing out so late?” 

“uh, distracting myself from how small my brain is,” you explain. “what are you doing here?”

“hongjoong needed paint pens,” he says, and you’re about two seconds away from finding san and slapping him. did they really plan this too? 

“why didn’t he come get them?” you ask as you remember what you’re here to find. your eyes scan the aisle behind seonghwa and you spot the paint cans at the end, but he’s in your way.

“i offered,” he says with a shrug.

“you must be a really good friend, then.”

“well you did call me perfect yesterday, so...” he trails off, smirking. you roll your eyes at him but can’t help the blush creeping up your neck. he interrupts his new favorite activity of staring deeply into your eyes (just to fluster you, of course) and he sees that you’re looking past him at the shelves of paint. “you need something down here?” 

“um, yeah, the spray paint,” you reply, awkwardly trying to skirt around him to get into the aisle. he steps aside to let you through, but still follows you as you search for the color you want.

“what are you making?” 

“i’m painting a scuffed up dresser i’ve had for a while, so i want something simple that’ll go with the rest of the things in my room,” you explain as you stop walking and crane your neck to scan the bottles on the top shelf. seonghwa stops behind you and places his hand on the small of your back as he reaches for a can just out of your reach.

“what about this one?” he offers, handing you a can of light blue paint. it’s really pretty, and it’ll stand out with the white furniture you already have, but you really like it.

“oh, that’s perfect!” you say as you take the can from his hands.

“there you go again,” seonghwa teases, and you shoot him a questioning look. he smiles as he responds. “calling me perfect?”

“i said the paint was perfect, weirdo,” you snap. “but thank you for finding this.”

“anytime,” he tells you. “you said your favorite color was blue right?”

“right...” you mumble, thinking back to the conversation you had at the bakery yesterday. “how’d you remember?”

“ugh, i’m hurt!” he exclaims, hand flying to his chest in mock surprise. “i can’t believe you already forgot that it’s my favorite color too.”

“hm, guess i was too distracted by how perfect you are,” you joke. seonghwa laughs at that, a sharp sound that seemed to catch him off guard. he covers his mouth to stifle the sound, but you’re close enough to the cash register now that it draws attention from san and mingi.

“find what you need?” san asks with a shit eating grin.

“hm, just about,” you say as you place the paint on the counter. “couldn’t find a hammer big enough to drop on your head, though.”

“wow, harsh,” san scoffs. “and to think i brought you here out of the goodness of my heart.”

you’re too busy half-bickering with san to notice that seonghwa has paid for your paint and the pens he promised hongjoong. he mumbles something to mingi, who then hands him a piece of paper. he scribbles his number down for you before handing you the can and his number. 

“i gotta go, but i’ll see you later for study group, right?” he confirms. you’re still processing the fact that he keeps buying things for you and you can’t respond in time, so san steps in.

“yeah, y/n will be there,” san assures seonghwa. he nods and shoots you one last smile before he excuses himself and leaves. you’re stuck with san and that stupid grin again. he looks at you and then checks the paper with seonghwa’s number on it. “yep, i think you got what you needed.”

-

even though seonghwa very willingly gave you his number, you’re still afraid to text him. it’s kind of hard to believe that he’s into you the way you’re into him, so you’re fine with just seeing him for study dates. or, uh, not study dates. study gatherings. with just the two of you. because the other guys have bailed, again.

this time, though, you’re not working on music theory. you have an assignemnt due for your ethics class, and you need family and friends to read about your results from this morals test. you wanted san to do it, but he’s currently “chasing a sweet piece of ass,” whatever that means. he’s probably bothering his lab partner that he claims descended from greek gods. you would usually tease him for saying something like that, but it’s a thought you’ve had about seonghwa, so you kept your mouth shut.

anyway, you know you need someone to answer these questions for you, but you can’t bring yourself to ask seonghwa. he kept up his “perfect” demeanor again today, showing up at the bookstore before you so he could get you the coffee you like. you would ask why he keeps doing things like this for you, remembering your favorite color and your coffee order, but you’re afraid he’ll stop if you bring it up. little do you know, every time he learns something new about you, he writes it down in his notes app, keeping a running tab of the things you like.

“y/n?” you hear him ask. his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you realize you’ve been staring at him this whole time. the smirk you’ve become so familiar with makes another appearance as he gets ready to tease you. “something on your mind?”

“no, i...no,” you stutter. “i’m just thinking.”

“about what?” he questions as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips. you watch the way he slightly pouts them before taking a sip and you have to stop yourself from staring again.

“just this ethics assignment i want to finish,” you explain. “sorry, i didn’t realize i was staring at you.”

“must be an important assignment,” he nods, leaning forward to put his cup back on the table in front of you. you get another glimpse at the star tattoo on his neck as he does. “because i was definitely staring at you too, and you didn’t even notice.”

“oh?” 

“yep,” he confirms. “i was giving you my best puppy dog eyes and everything.”

“puppy dog eyes?” you ask, unsure of what’s coming. “do you need something?”

“eh, not really,” he shrugs. “i’m just worried.”

“why?”

“you never texted me the other night.”

“after the art store?” you ask incredulously. 

“isn’t that when i gave you my number?” he smirks. 

“i didn’t think you wanted me to text you immediately...”

“well, it’s been three days and i still don’t have your number,” he pouts. 

“hold on a second,” you mumble, reaching for your bag. you fumble around in there, searching for the piece of paper with seonghwa’s number on it as he watches you fondly.

“what are you doing?”

“looking for your number,” you reply like it’s obvious. seonghwa laughs a little and places his hand on your arm to stop you. 

“you do know i’m right next to you, and i could just put my number in myself?” he asks, eyes sparkling as he half-smiles at you. you blush, because no, you weren’t thinking about that. you sheepishly hand him your phone and watch as he adds his number and then texts himself. he gives your phone back and replaces it with his own before asking, “what’s your favorite emoji?”

“um, the smiling cowboy?” you offer, not sure why he’s asking. he laughs again, like he did in the art store, but this time it’s harder for him to quiet the breathy giggles coming from his chest.

“why that one?” he asks, typing something quickly.

“it’s funny,” you shrug. “why?”

“needed something cute to put next to your name, but you’re a weirdo, so it’s not as cute as i was imagining,” he explains, showing you the contact card in his phone. your number is saved as “y/n 🥰🤠” and you can’t help but laugh. you look up at seonghwa, warmth in your eyes, and he starts laughing too.

“see?” you giggle. “it is funny.”

“whatever, at least now i have your number.”

-

after exchanging numbers with seonghwa, you’re starting to let yourself believe little by little that he might feel the same way you do. it’s not anything serious, but there’s definitely something there. the texts he sends are always flirtatious, and it has your heart beating faster every time you get a notification, hoping that it’s him. you’re in the middle of studying for your spanish final when you feel your phone vibrate on the bed next to you, and you smile when you see who it’s from.

seonghwa 🥺💫, 6:28pm: are you busy rn?

you, 6:28pm: not really, just studying

seonghwa 🥺💫: can’t be studying too much if you replied that quickly 🥸

you: what do u want

seonghwa 🥺💫: be nice :-(

you: sorry

you: hi seonghwa, how are you? what do you want.

seonghwa 🥺💫: come get dinner with me? 

you: right now?

seonghwa 🥺💫: no, in 30 years. yes right now 

you: but i’m studying ://

seonghwa 🥺💫: liar!

you: fine, when and where?

seonghwa 🥺💫: i’ll pick you up in ten 🤠

- 

“you sure like staying close to campus, huh?” you ask seonghwa as he walks you about a block from your usual hangout and to a little hole in the wall restaurant that looks like it could seat maybe 20 people, uncomfortably. 

“i know what i like,” he responds with a shrug. “speaking of things i like, you look nice.”

“oh, thank you,” you semi-laugh. you’d been close to panic trying to figure out what to wear (because you’re not sure if this is a date) so you went with something simple, but you’re glad seonghwa likes it. not that you wanted to impress him. but you did, a little. anyway, he looks...well, perfect, wearing black ripped jeans and a velvet-y navy shirt. you continually have to stop yourself from reaching out and stroking his arm just to feel the soft fabric (and maybe his muscles). 

“so i take it you’ve never been here before?” he asks as he hands you a menu. you shake your head no in response. you can’t tell if he’s doing it intentionally, but seonghwa leans closer into your side as he explains. “you pick a main entree, but each dish comes with these sides. they say no substitutes, but i know the guy behind the counter so you can ask for more of something else if you don’t like one of them.”

“i might do that,” you say. “i don’t really want dumplings, so could i get extra sweet potatoes?”

“of course,” he nods, noting the way you smile slightly. it makes your eyes light up, and his heart does a little backflip knowing that he’s the reason for it. well, the sweet potatoes probably are, but he’s the one getting the sweet potatoes, so he’s taking that win for himself. once you both confirm what you want, he places his hand on your back and guides you to the counter.

“hey seonghwa!” the tall guy with a lopsided smile behind the register greets. “long time no see. who’s your friend?”

“hey yunho,” seonghwa smiles back. “this is y/n, a vip, so make sure you give us the good stuff.”

“extra sweet potatoes?” yunho laughs. you and seonghwa both nod as yunho continues taking your order, and you find yourself comfortably leaning into seonghwa as you wait for yunho to calculate the price. before seonghwa can even think about taking his wallet out, you’re handing yunho cash for the food, which makes seonghwa sputter.

“what? y/n, i was going to pay,” he whines, and you simply shake your head.

“nope, my turn,” you tell him. “you’ve bought me coffee too many times.”

“but i asked you out! i don’t want you to pay on our first date if i’m the one who brought you here,” he continues to complain.

“so this is a date?” you confirm, right as yunho asks suggestively “oh, this is a date?”

“yunho, give y/n’s money back,” seonghwa says, ignoring the two of you. “i’m paying.”

“yunho, if you give me that money i’ll be forced to leave and stand seonghwa up for our date,” you say, emphasizing the last word. now you’re glad you wore clean pants.

“seonghwa, why don’t you let y/n pay for this, and then you can get the next one?” yunho suggests, sending you a wink before he turns to the kitchen to share your order with the chef. you’re left with a flustered seonghwa, which is a sight you’re not used to, and it makes you laugh.

“c’mon,” you say as you pull on his arm. “let’s go find a table.”

you’re the only ones in the restaurant, so the food comes out pretty quick, and you have to stifle a laugh when you see that someone has arranged the sweet potatoes on a separate plate in the shape of a heart. seonghwa blushes at this, and you’re taken aback by how shy he’s suddenly become.

for some reason, seonghwa showing signs of nervousness puts you at ease, and you lead the conversation to something stupid san told you about the boys and their shenanigans at their dorm. the story has seonghwa laughing, and he confirms that yes, yeosang does have a sword by the tv, and yes, hongjoong did threaten to use it on him after he lost an intense match of fifa. 

“in hongjoong’s defense,” seonghwa begins, “i do think yeosang cheated. wooyoung was definitely helping him.”

“it still sounds ridiculous,” you tell him. “why does anybody need a sword?”

“yeosang is just...yeosang,” seonghwa replies. “he’s weird but he won’t admit that to anyone.”

“i’m just saying, if i went to someone’s house and there was a katana by the tv, i’d haul my ass outta there.” seonghwa giggles at how serious you look, but this conversation reminds him...

“you never showed me your room,” he says bluntly. you pause for a moment, spoon halfway to your mouth, and seonghwa realizes how that must sound. “i mean, the paint, your dresser. you never showed me a picture once you fixed it up.”

“oh,” you breathe out. “let me grab my phone, i can show you.”

“show him what?” a familiar voice suddenly asks from the seat next to you. when you notice that san, and some of your other friends, have snuck their way into the restaurant, you have to keep yourself from groaning.

“why are you here.”

“i’m hungry,” san replies, then turns to seonghwa. “you didn’t tell us you were getting dinner.”

“i didn’t want to,” seonghwa deadpans. “ i wanted it to be just me and y/n.”

“too late for that, pal,” honjoong says as he slides into the seat across from you. “hi y/n.”

“hey hongjoong,” you grumble. “please tell me you’re getting your food to go.”

“we were, but then we saw our good friends eating all by themselves and thought we should join them,” hongjoong teases. by now, the rest of the boys have sat down around you, some at other tables, and one of them you don’t recognize. that must be jongho, their younger “roommate” who technically lives in first year housing but doesn’t get along with the other guy in his room. you’ve heard seonghwa complain that jongho eats all of his snacks. 

“well, i hope you enjoy your food, but seonghwa and i were just about to leave,” you lie, looking at seonghwa with a stare that pleads ‘please go along with this.’

“where are you going?” wooyoung asks, one table over.

“my apartment,” you respond quickly, standing up as seonghwa follows your cue with a stupidly adorable look on his face.

“oh, perfect!” san chirps. “we’ll come with you!”

- 

so much for your date with seonghwa. it was hard to stop the boys from insisting they all join you at your apartment, especially after yunho said his shift was over and he could really use some destressing. and by destressing he meant booze, so you currently have 8 tipsy boys scattered across your living room. if you thought they were loud before...it’s amazing that your neighbors haven’t complained yet. 

it started off innocent enough, you were just playing card games at first and the loser of each round had to drink. then it turned into never have i ever, and each time you put a finger down you had to drink. then yeosang suggested shots, and it really went downhill from there. san tried convincing everyone to play a round of spin the bottle just for the chance of making you and seonghwa kiss, but mingi and wooyoung were the only ones down, so majority ruled there. 

“san, stop pouting,” you laugh, noticing that he’s upset over his evil plan not working out.

“it’s fine,” he lies, duck lips on full display. 

“spin the bottle is such a tween-y game too,” jongho pipes in. “and we’re adults, so it would be kinda stupid to play it anyway.”

“says the baby of the group,” yeosang scoffs. 

“what about truth or dare?” hongjoong suggests. “still immature, but we can make it fun.”

“yes!” san shouts, suddenly back in a positive mood. 

“i’ll start,” mingi volunteers. he takes a deep breath as he looks around the room, eyes narrowing when he looks at you and seonghwa. you’re currently smushed into your armchair together, not really by choice, because the couch is completely full and neither of you wanted to sit on the floor (you know how dirty it is, and seonghwa has a bad hip). thankfully, mingi has mercy on you and directs his gaze to his best friend. “yunho, truth or dare?”

“truth,” yunho slurs out. you’d say he’s the opposite of stressed by now.

“did you sleep with that girl you met at the party last week?”

“no,” yunho replies quickly, cheeks turning a knowing shade of red. “i just walked her home.”

“and went missing until the next morning?” yeosang asks. he gets a few snickers, and you laugh a little too because you remember san and wooyoung talking about their friend who disappeared for a few hours last weekend.

“whatever,” yunho groans. “yeosang. truth or dare.”

“dare,” yeosang chooses confidently. 

“kiss wooyoung on the cheek.”

“no,” he replies, just as confidently. 

“then take another shot,” yunho concedes, waving his hand at the stubborn boy. wooyoung mumbles something about how kissable he is as yeosang downs what looks like more than just a regular shot.

“this is boring,” jongho whines, which makes him the next target. he chooses dare, and you have to detach yourself from seonghwa so you can go into your kitchen and find the lemon juice in your fridge so jongho can chug what’s left. he’s sputtering after a few sips and gives up, grumbling up to you, “ i hate you for that.”

“hey, it wasn’t my dare,” you defend yourself. “you owe me lemon juice.”

“i’ll give it to you if you choose dare,” jongho challenges. you roll your eyes and take the bait, earning a round of ooo’s from the boys around you. 

“make her kiss seonghwa,” someone hisses.

“or me!” wooyoung chirps. jongho looks over at him with a death glare, and wooyoung shrugs. “i just want someone to want to kiss me.”

“i think you’re cut off,” hongjoong says as he leans across your coffee table to move the bottle away from wooyoung.

“everyone be quiet!” san shouts. “jongho has to give y/n a dare.”

“hmmm,” jongho starts, tapping his finger on his chin. “what should i do?”

“for someone who said this was boring, you’re really milking this,” seonghwa says under his breath. you’re perched on the arm of the chair, close enough to hear him, but thankfully no one else does.

“what’s that other childish game called?” jongho wonders aloud. “seven minutes in heaven? i think you should do that with seonghwa.”

“do i have to?” you pout, and your reluctance makes seonghwa stiffen. he thinks you said that because you’re uncomfortable, and not because you don’t want the boys pressing their ear up to the door while the two of you make out.

“rules are rules,” hongjoong concludes, nodding his head toward your room. “go have fun. i’ll keep the kids from bothering you.”

you look to seonghwa, who isn’t looking directly at you. you tentatively take his hand, giving it a squeeze before you stand up and lead him to your room. there are so many catcalls, whistles and cheers coming from your friends that you barely hear san say “take your time! it doesn’t have to be just seven minutes!”

once you get to your room, you let seonghwa go in first and then you lock the door behind you. he quirks an eyebrow at that, and you shrug shyly. 

“don’t want one of them bursting in,” you explain. seonghwa nods, and you both fall silent. it’s not necessarily awkward, just tense. you both want to do what seven minutes in heaven is meant for, but you’re not gonna make the first move and seonghwa still isn’t sure you even want to be in this situation. so he takes this time to turn around and take your room in, pointing to your dresser.

“is this it?” he asks. you hum out a yes in response, and he runs his hand over the freshly painted wood. “it looks nice. whoever picked out the color sure knows what he’s doing.”

“eh, he’s just lucky,” you joke, and you both laugh. you move to stand next to him and place your hand on top of his. “sorry we couldn’t finish our date.” 

“sorry my friends are so annoying,” seonghwa adds. 

“sorry san pushed me into your lap earlier,” you continue, and seonghwa smirks.

“well, i didn’t mind that,” he says. “i wanted you to sit with me, but i didn’t want to draw attention.”

“oh,” you squeak, feeling a blush on its way to your cheeks. a heavy silence falls over you, and seonghwa is the first to break it.

“listen, if you don’t want to kiss me, that’s cool,” he begins. “i kinda got the vibe earlier that you didn’t want to do this, and that’s cool. if you don’t want to do this we’re still cool.”

“you don’t sound very cool about it,” you chuckle, and seonghwa’s face flushes. “but i was only nervous because i didn’t know if you wanted to kiss me.”

“oh i want to kiss you,” he says firmly. “have for a while.”

“why don’t you do it then?” you challenge. seonghwa takes a step closer to you, and before you know it he’s pinned you against your dresser. you balance your hands on it and the cool wood helps you ground yourself as your body heats up from having seonghwa so close.

“are you sure?” he asks, only a few inches from your face. you nod and whisper out “i’m sure” and seonghwa quickly cups your face and smothers you in a kiss. it starts off slow, and your face warms at his touch. once you relax into it you move your lips against his, nipping at his bottom lip slightly and earning a groan from the man before you. you take the chance to slip your tongue past his lips as you bring your hands up to the nape of his neck, slowly brushing through his soft hair. his hands find their way to your waist, gripping tightly but not too hard, and he leans in to get as close to you as possible. you keep kissing for a few moments, but eventually you need to breathe so you lightly tap on his neck. he pulls back, breathing heavy, and his smile shines like the most beautiful stars in the sky. “so?”

“so?” you repeat, equally out of breath.

“that was nice.”

“it was.”

“the boys are gonna know we made out.”

“of course they are,” you laugh. “your lips look swollen.”

“so do yours,” he counters. 

“but wasn’t that the whole point of us coming in here?” you ask. your hands have fallen to his chest, and you finally get a chance to smooth out the soft velvet of his shirt. and you notice his chest is very, uh, firm, too.

“we didn’t have to kiss,” he says with a shrug. “we could’ve just talked.”

“about what?” you ask with a smile.

“my keen eye for interior design,” he replies. “how sexy you look in low lighting.”

“so you think i’m sexy?” you tease, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“i just had my tongue in your mouth, does that answer your question?”

another silence comes over you both, but this one is lighter than before. you’re subconsciously rubbing your hands over his shirt, and seonghwa brings a hand up to cover yours, stopping it right over his heart.

“we don’t have to tell them,” you offer. “i mean, they kept it a secret from us that they were trying to get us together this whole time.”

“oh no, i was fully aware of that,” seonghwa tells you, and you scoff. “do you think i really wanted to get out past midnight just to buy hongjoong some expensive markers? he never even paid me for them.”

“well now i really don’t want to tell them we kissed,” you whine. “how could everyone be in on this except me?”

“it was more fun that way,” seonghwa teases before pecking your lips. “but we can keep this between us, for now.”

“i think we should,” you say with a nod of finality. “it’s more fun that way.”

“c’mon, let’s go back out there before they send a search party.”

you return to the living room before seonghwa (so he can sneak into the bathroom and fix his hair) and you find most of the boys asleep on the floor. you sigh as your eyes meet hongjoong’s, and he shrugs.

“at least they didn’t bother you,” he says. 

“can you help me find pillows and blankets for them, please?” you ask, and he nods before jumping into action. he throws one of the couch pillows down to yeosang, who takes it and hugs it to his chest. you have a couple extras in your hall closet and you pass them to yunho, who’s sitting up when you come back. he places one under mingi and another under jongho and keeps the last one for himself. san and wooyoung are on the couch, and hongjoong tells you he’s fine with the armchair. seonghwa is out of the bathroom by now, and, like the perfect man he is, he’s carrying blankets in his arms. the three of you work on getting all the boys covered before you realize that seonghwa doesn’t have a place to sleep.

“i can take another spot on the floor,” he assures you. “do you have another pillow i can use?”

“let him sleep in your room, y/n,” san mumbles from underneath wooyoung. you pause and look at seonghwa, who’s looking back at you with something you can’t read in his eyes. 

“it’s not a bad idea,” hongjoong pipes in from somewhere within the blanket cocoon he made for himself. “he was just there. you can put him on the floor.”

“y/n?” seonghwa asks, pulling your attention back to him. “i don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.” 

you would try to fight it, so you could hopefully ignore taunts from the boys in the morning, but you’re suddenly really tired and you just want to lay down.

“i’m ok with it if you are,” you yawn. “take the rest of those blankets, we can use those for your bed.”

“make good choices,” honjoong mumbles as seonghwa leads you back to your room, and you hear san going “oooooo” as you close your door a second time tonight. this time you don’t lock it though, and when you turn around you see the blankets on the floor and seonghwa sprawled out on your usual side of the bed, so you tell him.

“well why don’t you come join me then?” he teases with a grin. you blush and shake your head.

“scoot over.”

he does, but only by an inch. he still looks at you with that flirty glint in his eyes, and you can only shake your head again as you crawl into the tiny space next to him. he immediately wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a tight hug, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“thank you,” he whispers into your back.

“for what?” you reply.

“for not putting me on the floor. and for liking me.”

-

you just woke up from maybe the best night of sleep you’ve ever had. seonghwa’s arms and legs are draped over yours, so you can’t get up without waking him, but having him so close is a welcome source of warmth. your apartment is quiet, and the sun is peacefully filtering into your room through your curtain. it’s the perfect moment, with your perfect boy, until- 

“i think they’re still asleep,” you hear someone whisper from the hallway.

“wooyoung, leave them alone!” another voice hisses. there’s silence for a moment, and then a smack, followed by someone jiggling the doorknob to your room. you quickly untangle yourself from seonghwa before you watch as the door cracks open a bit, revealing wooyoung in all his bed-headed glory. you close your eyes as much as you can while still peeking at who’s sneaking into your room, and you see jongho close behind him. he must’ve been the one who got smacked. or did the smacking. either way, they’re both staring at you and seonghwa in your bed, but you notice wooyoung smile and pause.

“i knew it! they definitely got together last night.”

“how do you know?” jongho asks. “maybe y/n let seonghwa sleep on the bed because of his old man hips.”

“whatever. they’re in the same bed, so that’s at least something,” wooyoung replies. “lame, but still something.”

“what did you expect?” jongho asks incredulously. “you thought we would catch them doing it?”

“i mean, not exactly, but couldn’t i get a little cuddling maybe?”

“you want me to cuddle you hyung?” jongho deadpans.

“yes, actually-”

“hey!” a third voice whisper shouts. you hear footsteps and then you see hongjoong pulling wooyoung out of your room by the neck of his shirt. “leave them alone. and you, jongho, i’m surprised you’re playing along with this.”

“well...” jongho mumbles.

“well what?” hongjoong asks, sounding like the mom-est mom to ever mom.

“they’re the only ones that know how to make breakfast.”

“both of you, out! now!” hongjoong semi-shouts, and you feel seonghwa stirring behind you. hongjoong doesn’t realize you’re both awake and closes the door as he leaves.

“what time is it?” seonghwa grumbles out, and your heart skips a beat hearing how deep his voice is when he wakes up.

“early,” you reply, turning around to be face to face with him. his arms slowly snake around you as you look up at him and share a sleepy smile. “how can you look this good when you first wake up?”

“weird, i wanted to ask you the same thing,” seonghwa replies, leaning in to kiss you but you touch your fingers to his lips and stop him, so he pouts. 

“uh uh, not until i brush my teeth,” you say as you try to get up, but seonghwa’s grip on your waist keeps you down.

“please,” he pouts again, sparkly eyes on full display as he pleads with you. it takes about half a second for you to cave and kiss him quickly, catching him off guard. he shifts to pull you on top of him and deepen the kiss, but he loses his grip on you and you’re able to slip out of bed before he can stop you. a noise comes from deep in his chest that almost sounds like a growl, and you shoot him a glare.

“hey, you got your kiss,” you warn. “now i’m going to make breakfast for the gremlins. do you want to help me?”

-

after the intrusion into your bedroom, wooyoung obviously told the boys what he saw. but, like jongho said, most of them thought it was just because of seonghwa’s hips that made you share a bed with him. there wasn’t enough evidence otherwise, and none of them really expected either of you to make a move despite their efforts. but they’re starting to get suspicious.

little do they know, after the set up fell into place, seonghwa wanted to take you on a real date. the only way to do that without your friends knowing was to sneak around without them, which was kind of fun. it was nice having this bubble with seonghwa, just the two of you, but it was getting harder to avoid your friends. seonghwa lived with them after all, so they pestered him about how often he was out and who he might be out with. 

“san keeps asking if you’re a good kisser. i told him i didn’t know, and then he asked if he could find out for me. should i be concerned about that?”

“we need to be more careful, yeosang said he saw us at the taco place yesterday, and he said we hold hands weird.”

“hongjoong has been saving seats for us at the bookstore, and each time we don’t show up i think he steals something from me.”

you have been ditching study group lately, but that’s more because you need to do some deep studying for your other finals and your friends are too much of a distraction. seonghwa can be distracting too, but at least he can take a hint and back down when you really need to focus. it’s been nice actually, just spending time in his presence. you were so nervous around him just a few weeks ago, and now you feel like you could trust him with just about anything.

today, you don’t get any personal study time, though. your music theory final is coming up and seonghwa wants you to get all the terms memorized before the review session in class tomorrow. he’s motivating you with a kiss for each right answer and the promise of him making dinner once you’re done. you’re currently cruising on five wrong in a row, and you’re getting frustrated. 

“c’mon y/n, you know this,” seonghwa encourages you, but you just whine in response. “we did this like four minutes ago, and i told you the answer so you could remember it.”

“yeah, well i obviously didn’t,” you snap, and seonghwa fakes being hurt. “sorry. can we skip this and come back to it?”

“sure,” he agrees quickly. “but first you need to write down the circle of fifths for me.” 

“i hate you.”

“hm, wrong answer,” he hums. “but kiss anyway. maybe that’ll keep you from getting so grumpy.”

“i am not grumpy,” you defend after kissing him gently. “i’m stressed.”

“you know what you need?”

“hm?”

“you need to go on another date,” he begins. “with me, obviously.”

“damn, i wanted to know if yunho was free,” you tease, and seonghwa doesn’t think it’s funny. “now who’s grumpy?”

“ignoring that,” he scoffs, but you can tell he’s trying not to smile. 

“when would we go? i’m really busy the next few days.”

“what about after class? we could both clean up and do something nice before we get some dinner?” seonghwa suggests. “why don’t we go to that art exhibit you told me about?”

“ugh,” you groan as you learn your head on his shoulder. “that sounds amazing, but we both said we’d be at study group tomorrow, remember? hongjoong practically begged me to be there, and i said i would ask you to come.”

“what about not letting them know we’re a thing?” he pouts. you don’t tell him about the youngest two that saw you all cuddled up, but instead you assure him that you inviting him to study group wouldn’t look unusual to the boys.

“plus, if we both cancel last minute, they’d know for sure we were up to something together,” you continue. “so yes, we need to go on another date, but just not tomorrow.”

“fine,” he mumbles. “now i am grumpy.”

“would something from the cafe make it better, my little boba ball?” you ask in a baby voice.

“ooh, actually, boba sounds good,” seonghwa smiles. “let’s go.”

-

the next day you get to the bookstore late because your professor gave a pop quiz at the end of class and you’ve been so busy studying music theory you forgot to study for anything else, so you needed all the time you could get. when you finally arrive, all of the boys are there, surprisingly. since you’ve never seen yunho, mingi and jongho here before you’re a little confused, but happy to see them nonetheless. 

as you walk up to the usual spot, you notice a coffee cup sitting in front of an empty chair, and you point to it as the boys greet you.

“is this for me?” you ask, placing your bag on the ground before grabbing the warm mug. “thank you, coffee angel.”

“you’re welcome, actual angel,” seonghwa replies, and you almost choke on your first sip. what is he doing?? you’re supposed to be sneaky sneaks and keep your relationship quiet, but here he is flirting with you in front of everyone!

except, that’s what he did before you started dating too, so it’s not out of the ordinary. in fact, no one pays any mind to it, so you’re left with a burnt tongue and blushy cheeks while seonghwa looks at you with a stare that only you would understand. you quickly shoot him a wink before you put your mug down and reach for your notes.

“um, hello? what are you guys doing?” you ask yeosang next to you, who’s rabidly tapping at his phone, just like everyone else. if they weren’t distracted they might have picked up on the vibes between you and seonghwa, but thankfully they’re the oblivious ones now.

“playing a game,” half of them respond, just as hongjoong says “writing lyrics” and jongho mumbles “texting my mom.”

“aren’t we supposed to study?” you ask. “or did you already learn everything in the world while i was gone?”

“well you’ve missed a lot of study sessions, y/n,” san begins. “so yes, we have learned everything. now we just come here to hang out.”

“so then why did you insist on me being here, joong?” you ask newly orange-haired hongjoong. it’s been a while since you’ve seen him, he must’ve dyed it recently. 

“we missed hanging out with you,” he says simply, eyes peeking up from his phone. your heart constricts at this, and you catch seonghwa’s eyes again. you might have to rethink the whole sneaking around thing if they really do miss you.

“yeah, we missed you AND we had to make sure you and seonghwa are still spending time together,” wooyoung adds, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“where have you been anyway?” yeosang asks. “you don’t have other friends.”

“yes i do,” you scoff.”

“give me names and numbers.”

“ignore him,” yunho tells you, and you nod.

“i always do. but i’ve been really stressed about finals, so i had to do some soul searching on my own to decide if i need to graduate or not.”

“seems fair,” mingi agrees. “i almost had to drop a class.”

“because he forgot he was even enrolled in it,” jongho clarifies, and you laugh.

“but seonghwa has been missing a lot lately too,” san starts. “i wonder what he’s been doing.”

“or who,” wooyoung snickers, and hongjoong reaches over mingi to slap him.

“i haven’t been feeling well,” seonghwa says with a shrug. “i’ve mostly been in my room, or at the pharmacy to get medicine.”

“oh, so you could’ve bought new paper towels for the dorm then, huh?” hongjoong asks, and as the two of them start to bicker, yeosang nudges your arm.

“i saw you two,” he says quietly. “at the mexican restaurant.”

“i know,” you whisper back. 

“so i know you’re dating.”

“are you gonna say anything?”

“hmmm, no,” he thinks. “but you have to buy my silence.”

“with coffee?” you offer, and yeosang smiles. he stands up and puts his phone away before speaking, looking directly at seonghwa.

“my best friend y/n is gonna buy me coffee, we’ll be back,” he says as he loops his arm around your shoulders. seonghwa watches as you walk away (and stares at your ass) but he’s mostly thinking about how he’s a little jealous right now. like, he knows you wouldn’t do anything, he trusts you, but he doesn’t want his friends thinking you have a thing for anyone but him. so while you’re gone, he talks.

“i haven’t been sick,” he admits. “i’ve been seeing y/n.”

“we all knew, dude,” hongjoong says casually, and everyone agrees.

“then why didn’t you say anything?!”

“because YOU weren’t saying anything,” jongho replies.

“yeah, we figured that we did enough trying to get the two of you together, so if you didn’t end up dating then that was your fault. we were just waiting on you to make a move,” san explains. 

“then why did you let us lie to you like that?”

“it was fun,” wooyoung shrugs. “by the way, did y/n let you sleep in the bed because of your hips, or because you wanted to cuddle?”

the red tint on seonghwa’s cheeks gives him away, and the boys start laughing and ooo’ing so loud he’s afraid you’ll hear it over by the coffee counter.

“ok, ok, just. keep this quiet for now,” he says. “y/n may still want this to be private.”

“but you just told us about it,” yunho says. “why would you do that if you knew y/n wouldn’t want you to?”

“well,” seonghwa begins. “i need your help with a date.”

-

seemingly by an act of god, you have time this weekend to go on a date with seonghwa. little did you know, he’s the reason your plans suddenly freed up. san said you could critique him and wooyoung for their dance final another day, hongjoong said he would send you his music theory notes from the review and save you hours of studying and then yeosang found the exact spanish book you needed to finish your performance final ahead of time. it was the perfect circumstances, orchestrated by your perfect boy and his perfect-adjacent friends, who all agreed to help him with this (hopefully) perfect date. 

it starts with seonghwa picking you up from your apartment, coffee in hand. 

“you’re the man of my dreams, you know that?” you say in passing as you grab the warm to-go cup. even if you were only saying it lightly, it made seonghwa’s heart soar. you notice he hasn’t said anything to you, so you meet his eyes to find them full of stars like always, but this time there’s something scheme-y in there. he’s up to something.

“are you ready for the best date of your life?” he asks with a smile that puts the stars in his eyes to shame.

“yes, i think,” you respond, grabbing your keys and locking your door. “but i don’t know what we’re doing.”

“and it will stay that way until we get there,” seonghwa says firmly as he laces his hand into yours. you squeeze his hand and sigh.

“i guess i just have to trust you then.”

“but that won’t be hard right?”

“wait, didn’t you say something earlier about going to that art exhibit? is that it?” you question, even though you know he won’t budge. seonghwa just shakes his head no and punches the button for the elevator. a moment of silence passes before you guess again. “a movie? you rented out a movie theater, like you said you wanted to?”

“i tried, but it was expensive,” he admits and you have to laugh. “funds are tight right now.”

“i watched you buy a couple hundred dollars worth of legos the other day babe. maybe that’s why the date fund is lacking.”

“you’re not coming between me and my collectables, y/n,” seonghwa scolds. the elevator pings to open to the parking garage under your building, and you’re confused for a moment before he explains. “i want this to be a nice date, so yunho let me borrow his car. it would be no fun if we show up all sweaty because we were walking.”

yunho’s car, which is actually pretty nice thanks to all the tips he gets from flirting with clientele, is parked by the elevator. seonghwa leads you to your door and opens it for you, revealing a basket of flowers and candies in the seat. you coo as you pick it up, and seonghwa looks on proudly. you lean over to give him a kiss, and you whisper your thanks as you pull away.

“that was mingi’s idea,” seonghwa tells you, smiling brightly “i got all your favorites.”

“i see that.”

“but look around the flowers,” he guides you. “there’s something else.”

you hold the basket up to eye level, noticing the silver sparkle around the stems of the flowers. is it glitter? you tug at a flower and realize it’s a chain, and attached is a hand drawn star charm to match the tattoo on the back of seonghwa’s neck. 

“seonghwa, this is beautiful,” you say breathlessly. “we’re gonna match! that’s so cute. who’s idea was this?”

“would you believe me if i said it was mine?”

“no.”

“that’s what jongho said too,” seonghwa laughs. “it was his idea.”

“tell him thank you,” you say as you play with the charm. “mingi and yunho too. it’s a good date so far.”

“oh baby, it hasn’t officially started yet.”

-

in the car, seonghwa plays a mix of songs that he really likes, and he’s mixed in some of your favorites too. he has to keep convincing you that the songs aren’t clues, because you ask every time a new song plays.

“so are the songs just distractions?” you ask, finally giving up on getting any information out of him. 

“why do you ask that?” he smirks as he turns down a familiar road.

“because i can tell you just took the long way to the record store,” you explain. “are you stalling?”

“me, what? why?” his response does nothing to manage your suspicions, and suddenly you remember how your friends have helped with the date so far. are they all in on this? you need answers.

“seonghwa, i swear to god, if san or wooyoung jumps out to surprise me wherever we’re going-”

“that won’t happen,” seonghwa laughs while he parks the car. “we’re here anyway, and i promise this is the last surprise of the night.”

“the record store?” you question, looking up at the shop you’ve been to countless times to shop and to bother hongjoong while he works. 

“yeah, you said there was a new album out you wanted to get, right?”

“yeah,” you blush. “but i just said that in passing, i didn’t expect you to remember.”

“y/n, i want to know everything about you,” seonghwa says seriously. “so of course i remembered. wait, don’t get out yet. i’ll open the door for you.”

as seonghwa helps you out of the car, you quiz him on the other things you’ve said around him that you didn’t think he remembered. sadly, he does remember you saying your favorite disney movie is ratatouille and you’ve always wanted to try the mushroom/cheese concoction remy makes in the first scene.

“that’s a little embarrassing,” you sigh as you reach for the door. you’re going to complain some more about how seonghwa doesn’t need to remember everything about you, but the sight in front of you makes you stop mid-breath.

the record store has been decorated from floor to ceiling in fairy lights, and there’s more flowers all over the place. as you look around, you notice the flowers are tucked in the shelves next to your favorite artists. next to the door is the album you were talking about, and a little further down you see your favorite album of all time with a few extra flowers next to it. you’re still taking everything in when you notice hongjoong behind the counter.

“did you help him with this?” you ask breathlessly, and hongjoong nods. 

“yeah, but the flowers next to the albums was my idea,” hongjoong explains. “we’re running a new special called “y’n’s favorites” so everything that’s marked with a flower is yours, if you want it. everything is on the house.” 

“i...i don’t know what to say,” you start. you turn to seonghwa and there are those starry eyes that you love to see. you reach out to cup his face and smile. “thank you. this is...perfect.”

“it’s even more perfect now that i’m here!” wooyoung shouts from the front door of the shop, followed by san and yeosang. you look at seonghwa and all he does is laugh.

“what? at least he didn’t jump out and scare you,” seonghwa teases.

“oh, i would never,” wooyoung nods with a half-serious look on his face. “but i definitely wouldn’t do that when i have your dinner in my hands, i can’t let all this hard work spill.”

“especially not on my clean floor,” hongjoong warns. 

“you made dinner for us?” you ask wooyoung, but you’re looking at seonghwa, who simply shrugs.

“yep, i made one of your favorites and then threw in a couple recipes i thought you’d both like,” wooyoung says as he and the two other boys place food down on the counter by the register.

“and what did you two help with?” you ask san and yeosang.

“who do you think made this place so beautiful?” yeosang asks incredulously.

“yeosang did the lights and i bought all the flowers,” san explains with a smile that makes his eyes turn into happy half moons. “you’d be surprised how many places i had to go to get all your favorites.”

“i really don’t know what to say,” you whisper in disbelief. “i can’t believe you all did this for me.”

“it was all seonghwa’s idea,” san tells you. “we did it for both of you.”

“yeah, we’re just his little minions,” yeosang jokes, and wooyoung giggles. 

“you tell me how that food tastes, got it?” he asks as he backs out of the store. “don’t say anything mean though. i only accept compliments.”

“wooyoung,” seonghwa smiles tightly. “please leave.”

wooyoung holds the door open for san and yeosang as he gives seonghwa a thumbs up. san waves goodbye sweetly and yeosang gives you a knowing smile before the door closes behind them.

“well, i think that’s my cue to go,” hongjoong says, handing the keys to seonghwa. “don’t make a mess. if i get fired, i’m selling all the stuff i stole from you when you were sneaking around with y/n and not telling us about it.”

“i’ll keep him under control,” you assure hongjoong, who nods as heads to the door. you don’t see him leave because seonghwa has stepped in front of you, and he places his hands on your waist to pull you closer.

“so,” he begins.

“so.”

“what do you want to listen to while we eat?” he asks, pulling you by the waist over to a row of records. you stand there quietly, looking over the albums hongjoong pulled to the front for you, and you just can’t believe how much work went into this date. you can’t believe how sweet it is that each of your friends helped, and you put your hand on seonghwa’s and give it a squeeze.

“hwa,” you whisper. he hums in response, but you place your hand on his cheek and guide his gaze to yours.

“thank you,” you tell him. “thank you for this.”

he smiles at you with a look in his eyes that can’t be anything else but love, and you smile back with that much love, if not more, in your own face. you use the hand on seonghwa’s chin to guide his lips to yours, and you lose yourself in the kiss, in seonghwa, for who knows how long.

“mm, y/n,” he mumbles against your lips before detaching. “the food will get cold.”

“you’re right,” you sigh. “but we didn’t pick any music.”

“how about this?” he asks, pulling an album out from the top shelf. you smile at the cover, knowing exactly what song seonghwa wants you to hear. 

“perfect,” you agree. “i’ll put it on while you get the food?”

and that’s how you end up eating the perfect meal, on your perfect date, with all of your favorite things around you, sitting right next to your perfect boy.

#seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa imagine #seonghwa one shot #ateez one shot #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #seonghwa imagines #ateez fluff #park seonghwa #park seonghwa fluff #park seonghwa imagine #park seonghwa imagines #park seonghwa one shot

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Slumbering Hearts (Alcina Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 2

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: None Summary: In a wicked twist of fate, you find out your soulmate is none other than your employer, Lady Dimitrescu. To your misery, she (at first) seems equally displeased, her heart already belonging to another. But in time, the two of you find yourselves wondering… could the universe be right, after all? Soulmate AU in which every person has a unique “soul mark”, which they share with their soulmate. Notes: Reader gets a bit of a backstory here, with just enough concrete details to serve the plot in future chapters. Hopefully enough is kept vague for people to enjoy it. Now... Time to meet your new kids-in-law/the gremlins :) Previous Chapters: 1: In The Shadow Of Giants

2: Uncertain Destinations

“You already know my name, as well as my fate, and I have neither threats nor demands to make of you. I am at your mercy, regrettably, with nothing more to say. Shall we consider ourselves ‘introduced’? Or is there more you wish to ask of me?” You wonder, eying ‘Alcina’ with a bored expression. It felt odd to refer to her that way, even within the confines of your mind. She had been ‘Lady Dimitrescu’ for as long as you could remember; starting with your years in the village, and continuing through your months here at the castle. One day, perhaps, you would grow used to calling her by her first name. For now, you simply hoped to focus on other matters.

“Tell me of yourself, your past. Who were you before you came here?” Alcina asks, surprising you. What did it matter, now that you were stuck here? At first you shrug, avoiding eye contact, not wanting to open yourself up to her. But before long she’s placed a hand on your shoulder, applying just enough pressure to encourage you to speak. You win this round, you think.

“Somehow I doubt you’ll find it terribly interesting. I was born in the outskirts of the village, on a small farm, just like any other. I had a pet dog, went to ‘school’ with my neighbors, and spent my weekends volunteering with the church. The only thing you might not expect is that I lived outside the village for about a decade. Traveled for a while, never really staying anywhere for terribly long. Eventually, I got tired, and so I came back to help my parents with what little property they had left,” you explain, quietly. Being vague had been intentional, considering the nature of a few details. Did she need to know why you had left? Or that you had once revered Mother Miranda?... No, because if she learned that, it would not be long before she learned that you had changed your mind years ago. Something told you that she wouldn’t appreciate your lack of faith in her mistress. “That was six months ago, roughly. Barely got to spend time with my parents before I was ‘donated’ to the staff here.”

“Not many ever leave the village. Those that do rarely, if ever, return. How particular,” Alcina replies, giving a soft hum. There’s something in her expression that tells you she’ll eventually ask you to elaborate. For now, however, she seems content to move on. Internally you sigh in relief. “I suppose this is sufficient to sate my curiosity, for the time being. Now come with me, I’d like to introduce you to my daughters, to ensure that they understand you are… off limits.” With that said she stands, once more reminding you just how small and fragile you are in comparison, before heading towards the exit. You’re nearly forced to jog in order to keep up with her long strides. As she leads you through hallways, down a flight of stairs, and past several nervous looking maidens, she slows down the slightest bit, having eventually noticed your struggle. Admittedly, that’s more kindness than you would have anticipated. Perhaps she was used to adjusting her pace for her daughters?

Whatever the reason, you do appreciate it. Still, by the time you arrive at your destination, the castle’s library, your legs are feeling the smallest bit sore. Brushing off the ache, you follow Alcina inside. Then you’re taking in the sights, having not been here before, admiring the impressive collection. Glad I’m not responsible for cleaning this place, you think as you pass by dozens of filled shelves. Before long you encounter the three daughters. They’re sitting in a semi-circle, each with their own book, though they’re quick to sit up once they spy their mother. One by one they’re smiling up at her, not even sparing you a moment’s glance. Admittedly you’re glad for that. What good could come from their attention, especially when they don’t yet know who you ‘truly’ are?

“I’m glad to see you’re all in one place, my darlings. There has been a… development, of sorts,” Alcina says, speaking in the same tone one might use to address a faculty meeting. In a less intimidating household, it would have been much harder to hold in a laugh. Was this always how she spoke to her children? For their sake, you hoped not (though the concept was amusing). Regardless, it is at this point that the daughters notice you, with one of them looking intrigued enough to send a shiver down your spine. You’re pretty sure her name is Daniela, being the only one you haven’t met before today. A toothy grin spreads on her lips, and once you make eye contact you swear that she winks at you. This literally could not be any worse, you think, unable to stop yourself from frowning.

“Does it have to do with this little thing?” Daniela purrs, taking a step towards you. Instantly both Alcina and yourself are tensing up. While your soulmate shifts in front of you, an incredibly faint rosy tint to her cheeks, all you can do is pinch the bridge of your nose between two fingers.

“This ‘little thing’ is not your newest playtoy, Daniela. Rather, they are my-” she hesitates, disliking the way the word feels in her mouth- “soulmate. I expect the three of you to behave, understood? At the very most, you are allowed to prevent them from leaving the premises, but even then I expect you to remain gentle. Have I made myself clear?” Alcina asks. Now she’s not the only one blushing, as Daniela looks so embarrassed that you wonder if she’ll pass out. Maybe now you’ll think twice about flirting with everyone you meet, you think, remembering the various rumors you’ve heard about her. For a moment, part of you imagines what your relationship with her would look like, were you to continue ‘courting’ her mother. Could this be a moment you could torment her with for life? Get some cheeky revenge for all the maidens who couldn’t risk it? A lovely thought, though one soon interrupted.

“Of course, mother. We will not lay a single finger on them, unless we have no other choice. Right, sisters?” Bela replies, turning to her siblings with an expectant look. Neither of them seem terribly pleased, but they nod, each giving their own verbal affirmations. All three spend a few moments glancing you over, reevaluating you now that they know who you are, appraising your worth. It’s not hard to imagine that they all find you lacking- at least in comparison to their mother. “Are introductions in order? We’ve met before, but I hardly know anything about them. It would be… nice to properly meet the newest edition to our family.” The way Bela says the words makes you nervous, and the way Cassandra grins only worsens the feeling.

“If you desire such, I see no reason to forgo such a thing. Perhaps the three of you could give them a tour? I must return to my duties, and I doubt they have seen much of the castle, given their… former occupation,” Alcina admits, softly. Was this a confirmation that you’d no longer have to spend every day working yourself to the bone? On one hand you were somewhat relieved, but you also regretted the possible loss of your preferred coping method. Worse, were you really going to spend who knows how long with the dreaded Dimitrescu daughters? They were going to rip you to shreds, at least verbally, you were sure of it. How could you ever meet their expectations? If they were anything like their mother, you would never be enough to satisfy them. Or at least that is what you assumed.

“I’ve seen a fair bit,” you interject, awkwardly, hating the way it brings everyone’s gaze back to you. Alcina’s lips twitch, as she fights back a frown. Evidently she didn’t appreciate you countering her suggestion.

“Please, we insist,” Bela fires back, a pleasant tone covering her thinly-veiled animosity. “I’m sure we’ll have a wonderful time getting to know each other. You do want to learn more about your soulmate’s children, don’t you?” Something about the way she speaks makes you want to laugh. When you smile back at her, it’s without a hint of any placating intentions, rather a dewdrop of mischief. Bold of her to assume that you wanted to make her mother happy. After all, it was clear from her phrasing that this was a ‘test’, a ruse to ‘reveal your true colors’ to Alcina. But you were as uneasy about your part in this as Bela was, neither of you finding yourself a suitable match for Alcina. Despite the way she narrows her eyes at you, her mother is smiling again, glad that she had a way to keep you occupied for the time being.

“It’s settled then,” she says, moving to give each of her daughters a kiss on top of their heads. They giggle at the affection, looking rather proud of themselves. Then she turns to you, hesitating, clearly having the instinct to give you a kiss as well. Half of you wants to stand on your tippy-toes, expectantly, wondering if she’d do it (and how flustered it would make her). Instead, you pretend not to notice, accepting the awkward shoulder pat she ends up giving you. “I will see you this evening, for dinner. Do try to enjoy yourself. But don’t forget-” she leans in until her mouth is right next to your ear, breath tickling your neck- “behave yourself. I will not tolerate any tomfoolery, understood?” Alcina does not pull away until you’ve nodded, and you do not relax until the library door has shut behind her.

Except now you’re alone with her daughters. Wonderful.

---------------------------

Dealing with finances was not, to put it simply, Alcina’s ‘favorite’ activity. Although she employed someone to handle the majority of the paperwork, she made sure to go over it herself to ensure accuracy. There were many aspects to her business, being both legitimate and illegitimate, technically. One could never be too careful about their records. After all, failing to file tax returns had taken down Al Capone, of all people. Who was to say that such a mistake, or one in a similar vein, could not damage House Dimitrescu? Certainly it wouldn’t be enough to ruin them entirely, but it could lead to certain ‘nuisances’ bothering the village. At the end of the day, Alcina cared more about the impact it would have on Mother Miranda than anything else, even the possible decline of her household.

A nasty habit, really. Few knew the extent of her self-entitled devotion to the cult leader. The only bond that ran deeper was that she had with her daughters, who meant more to her than she could ever vocalize. Even then, she viewed them as a gift from Miranda, which in turn strengthened her love for the woman. Now that love leaked into everything she did. With a flourish of her pen, she signed away some of this month’s earnings. So what if she already ‘donated’ a large portion of her income to the village and its leader? Certainly this was a way to show the level of her devotion? Certainly Miranda would take notice, eventually? Praise her for it? Take Alcina’s hand in her own, thumb caressing her skin, eyes filled with a long-sought affection?...

The sound of passing footsteps brings her back into the moment, and Alcina stares down at the mountain of paperwork she’d yet to approve. With a deep sigh she readjusts her reading glasses, sets the finished document aside, then gets back to work. A part of her mind soon starts to drift to other subjects. To you, primarily. Would your affection be easier to gain? Steadier?... But could it, in any way, compare to Miranda’s? No matter how she tries to brush the thoughts away, they nip at her heels, circling her head like vultures. Only time would give her the relief she so desperately sought.

---------------------------

“So, don’t tell me you really think you’re my mother’s soulmate, right?” Cassandra says, somewhat grumbling, as you trail behind Bela. It’s less than five minutes into the tour, with the siblings having behaved so far, focused on actually showing you around. At her words, both her sisters started walking slower. Their gazes were still locked ahead of themselves. The way they positioned themselves, however, made it clear that they were listening. “Is it some elaborate scheme, hmm? Did you spend a dozen hours with the other servants, noting every last detail about her soul mark, before copying it? Do you really think that you’ll get away with this?” Well, ‘twas good to know who the most paranoid of the three were.

“Ah, yes, it’s all a great, horrible ruse. You’ve caught me red-handed, I’m afraid,” you chime, sarcastically. A hand goes to your forehead as you fake faintness. “I’m just so desperate to be scrutinized by yourself and your mother, to have my every movement watched, to somehow be less free than I already was. I simply… cannot… believe… that you saw through my bluff.” With that you give a dramatic sigh, pausing in the hallway to give Cassandra a judgemental look. If not for Alcina’s instructions to keep you safe, you’re certain she would have beheaded you on the spot. “I’m not claiming to understand the universe’s decision. But I’m also not giving up immediately, no matter how much the three of you scare me.” At that, Bela stops in her tracks, slowly turning to you. Instinctively you go to take a step backwards, only for Cassandra to catch you, holding you in place. Next thing you know, the oldest daughter is grabbing your head, staring you right in the eyes.

“Answer one question, and maybe I’ll make sure you don’t fall victim to some tragic, unfortunate accident. Can you see yourself loving my mother?” Bela asks, more intense than you’ve ever seen her before. Despite that, you don’t tremble, swallowing your fear long enough to reply.

“Honestly? I don’t know. She’s terrifying… and beautiful. Cruel to some of the maidens I’ve met… and loving to you three. I… I don’t know if I can love her,” you admit, gulping. “But isn’t that part of the point of trying? To find out? I am going to try, for both my sake and hers, to love her. To cherish her. What more would you ask of me? I cannot tell you how the days to come will go, whether or not your mother will enjoy them, or even whether she could love me. This is not a situation you can threaten into resolving the way you want it to. So let me go, finish the tour, and give me a chance. You owe your mother that much, do you not?” Soon enough the hands keeping you in place loosen their grip, and Bela turns away with a scoff. Honestly, you can hardly believe that your little speech worked. You aren’t given much time to celebrate, however, as the sisters quickly resume their walking. Before long, Daniela is speaking up between giggles.

“I like this one already.”

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil: village #re8 village #gremlin trio is protective #they're like #you're not cool enough for our mom #hey tumb please stop fucking up the order of my tags #this is the second time you've messed up my attempt at being funny

[fandomwriterstuff]

“We’re a well-oiled team of military-grade kindergarteners,” his best friend, and the only other human on the ship who would understand what kindergarten was, continued chastising him and his companions. “The level of education and training among the three of you eclipses that of the entire rest of the members of this operation,” Annabeth continued, pointing her finger individually at himself, his pilot Jason, and his Chief Science Officer Nico. “You know, I’m not that surprised with you, Percy, but you are our XO so you should really be more responsible,” he winced at that, still feeling a bit of imposter syndrome at being the Commander of the USS Olympus. “Jason, shouldn’t you be piloting a ship or something?” At that, he saluted her and did an about face before scampering off to get into more trouble. “And you, you’re definitely way too responsible to have gotten mixed up with this Seaweed Brain and Sparky, so what’s in this tomfoolery for you?”

Nico, the only Neptunian on the ship, shifted his large black wings self consciously under the scrutiny of their Chief of Operations. Percy, as the Commander of the vessel, felt obligated to protect his usually stoic and well-behaved… acquaintance? Di Angelo was reserved, almost standoffish, and resented anyone who tried to stick up for him for some reason, but that didn’t stop Percy’s stupid seaweed brain from doing so. Hence the acquaintance. Percy was 99% sure Di Angelo didn’t consider him a friend. But he was nice to Percy and a great officer, so Percy considered him his friend.

“It was my fault, Annie,” he used her childhood nickname carefully, not knowing whether it would soften her up or piss her off more. He was hoping for softening. “It was just another one of Jason and my dumb ideas that we thought we would need a scientist to help with, and we didn’t want to piss off Leo by involving him in it. You know how he is about his engineer and warp cores and whatnot,” Percy held his hands up placatingly. “Leave Di Angelo out of this, he has sciencey things to do, isn’t that right?” Percy side-eyed his companion who (not surprisingly) rolled his eyes.

“I try not to get involved with human pranks or even Jovian mischief, but Officer Grace and First Officer Jackson were about to be meddling with my linguistics team. It isn’t my duty to tell my superiors what to do, so I sought out the next best option, supervising and ensuring no lasting damage was done to the physical or emotional state of the linguistics team. Now,” Here Percy held in a smirk as Di Angelo shrugged. “If they caused interference with the machinery of the ship, that wouldn’t be my expertise, so I allowed it to happen and-” Percy held back a laugh as the other male started speaking even faster to get everything out as Annabeth turned redder and redder. “I’m very sorry about that, truly, but I had no control over the situation.”

“No control over the situation? You three broke our LIT machine and now we have to go back to Earth as soon as we pass close enough to fix it. Soon enough nobody on this ship will understand each other,” the woman across from them crossed her arms and Percy shrunk back a bit.

“I want to make a joke about a machine being called “LIT,” but I feel like it isn’t the right time,” he muttered. “I know the Linguistic Inhibition Technology is important, but most of us have a working understanding of at least one other language, so it shouldn’t be a huge issue, right?”

“You know it works by connecting to the implant technology in our brains, so as it shuts down one by one, members of this ship from spaces stations and planets far and wide will have no clue why they suddenly can’t understand their XO, or their Chief Officer, or their best friend. So you better explain this. And you have to tell them that we’re going straight back to Earth to fix it because no nearby planets have the same brain implant tech as us. Damn Terrans and their brand name technology copyrights,” Annabeth grumbled and finally turned around to walk off.

“Hey, you’re Terran, too!” Percy shouted after her, but she just flipped him the bird.

“She can do that?” Di Angelo asked, side-eyeing Percy.

“Yeah, she’s been my best friend since we were twelve. As long as she doesn’t undermine my authority in front of everyone else, I don’t really care. I’ve done way worse to her,” Percy laughed at the other man’s frown. “Nothing bad, just pranks and things of that sort. Maybe when we get back to Earth we can show you where we’re from. You never set foot off of the training grounds while you were in school.”

“I would… like that,” Di Angelo paused and gave Percy a soft smile.

“Great,” Percy patted the younger male on the shoulder and made his way to the Command Center.

Percy sat himself down in the rotating chair and pressed on the comms device.

“Gooooood evening crew of the USS Olympus, this is your Commanding Officer, Percy Jackson, speaking,” he smiled at the engineering crew that was scuttling by, only for one of them to pause and look at him like he was speaking a different language… Whoops.

“There was a malfunction with the Linguistic Inhibition Technology and we will be returning to Earth henceforth to repair it before the damage becomes problematic. You may experience glitches with your implant technology and may revert to only understanding your first language and those you have studied extensively. If somebody looks like they’re not understanding what I’m saying right now, please escort them to the linguistics team in Science Bay 3. Carry on. Jackson, out.” He clicked again and the mic turned off.

He sighed, this would be one of his bigger mistakes. They were supposed to be exploring, but they couldn’t do that if nobody could speak to one another. One trip home couldn’t hurt him, and he was sure Annabeth would be happy to see her father.

It wasn’t until later after the Chief Officer meeting when someone finally asked Percy about Earth. For many of the non-humans on the ship, Earth was a place to get education and training to go out in the star fleet, and they never set foot outside the campus grounds, just like Di Angelo. But people had stopped asking him questions because Earth was basically “Space Australia,” as Annabeth had explained to him. The adaptability of humans and their need to pack bond astounded many and horrified many others. So, he stopped talking about home.

It was a new member of their ship, Novax (a Vulcan who was a part of Leo’s engineering team), who asked him about it first.

“I hear Earth is 75% made of pure salt water, and is filled with animals of all kinds. Do you have a favorite water animal?” he asked Percy excitedly.

“Definitely dolphins, though they aren’t underwater creatures. Like humans they need oxygen to breathe, and come up for air very often. My favorite actual underwater species would have to be a hippocampus from Neptune. I’ve always wanted to go and see one, but my human anatomy prevents me from going on-planet,” Percy explained and sipped on his hot tea.

“There are a million creatures in the ocean and you pick one that doesn’t breathe underwater?” Clarisse grunted. His Chief Tactical Officer was a brutish Martian, but very specialized in weapons. “And your second favorite isn’t even Terran.”

“What else do you know about the ‘ocean’?” Novax breathed, leaning forward.

“Eh, not much,” Percy shrugged.

“I’m not sure I heard that correctly, maybe my LIT unit isn’t functioning well,” another member of engineering asked, Nyssa. “Your planet is 75% water and you don’t even know what is inside it?”

“I could tell you about the people who spend their life learning about what survives in the deep depths,” Percy looked up, knowing he had all of the non-Terrans hooked on every word. Even Di Angelo had paused in his note taking and was staring wide-eyed at Percy. “But I don’t know if you’d want to know.”

“No we do!” Nyssa exclaimed. “There are people who dedicate their lives to a place that’s literally not navigable by humans, the main inhabitants of the planet?”

“Well as you said, most of the planet is water. Which means that coastal communities are filled with fisherman, whalers, swimmers, and more. I could tell you about some of those. I could also tell you about the scientists that spend years of their lives building bots that can’t even come close to withstanding the pressure at the deepest depths without imploding, or I could tell you about those that do come close,” he shrugged.

“What happened to those?”

“The video feed cut out after only seeing multiple rows of sharp, jagged teeth,” Annabeth answered, her sharp grin frightening those who hadn’t noticed her. Some forgot that she was Terran, because she was also half Minervan.

“I could tell you about whales. Beautiful, they come in black and white or grey or blue. But they can be as big as almost 100 feet long. That’s as long as most pirate ships. And they could fit about 400 average sized humans in their mouths. You don’t want to cross one of them. And they only live on the surface. The things that live in the deep,” Percy shuddered for effect. There were no Neptunians on the ship, so there were no natural water dwellers there, so all of his rapt listeners were shocked by this information. “There’s the anglerfish. They light up the dark with an antenna on top of their heads, and the light lures in prey. But it’s so dim elsewhere that you don’t see their big sharp teeth until you’re right up against them,” he murmured. “Giant squids are almost as big as whales but not nearly as peaceful and beautiful. They have eight arms and two tentacles that could wrap around any boat and crush it.”

“Ten limbs?” Nyssa whispered, clearly disturbed.

“Plus, the Portuguese Man o’ War,” Percy shrugged nonchalantly. “Also known as the floating terror. It’s like a big blue jellyfish that sits innocently on top of the water with huge blue tentacles that sit just underneath with a sting strong enough to kill a full grown human.”

“Don’t worry,” Annabeth grinned that shark grin again. “Percy won’t tell you about the stories of the old days. He doesn’t want to scare you.”

“That was the not scary part?” Novax gulped.

“Anyway, I just got notified that we’ll be back on Earth in a few days, so brace yourselves,” and with that, she stood and left them all staring after her. When the door clicked shut, Percy had all eyes back on him. He shrugged.

“Don’t look at me. I wasn’t going to tell you about the kr- nevermind,” he stood. “Di Angelo, with me,” the younger officer stood, back to business and was at Percy’s side again in a moment. “Clear your schedule, you’re spending shore leave with me, pal.”

“Great,” came the deadpan reply.

“Don’t sound so somber,” Percy rolled his eyes. “I’m just going to show you the beach and maybe a good gay bar. You need to let off some steam my dude.”

The other male reddened.

“That is so… That is…” he huffed. “Highly inappropriate.” he glared down at the ground and Percy felt a little bad, maybe the guy wasn’t out? But it was clear he had a preference for males. Oh well, that foot was already in Percy’s mouth.

“Fine. But I will be attending and I am a great dancer so you’re missing out,” he winked at the flustered officer and made his way back to his cabin. It would be an interesting few days.

He made a plan with Annabeth. Day one before shore leave, Percy would spread a rumor to Novax about the kraken. Bigger than a giant squid and meaner. Known to crush entire pirate ships in the olden days.

Day two, Annabeth would mention sirens to Nyssa. Hideous creatures that could lure you in with their voices and lead you to believe you were bringing your ship in to everything you ever wanted, when in reality you would crash your ships and then drown.

Day three, Percy would tell Leo about the Megalodon. A definitely very real shark so big you couldn’t even imagine it. Percy shuddered at that one.

“But, there are some good things,” Percy was speaking to Nico Di Angelo from his Commander chair, in ear shot of some of the participants of the conversation a few nights prior. “Mermaids, the siren’s nicer cousin species. And the lost city of Atlantis. Known to be a great and bountiful city, lost to the sea and cursed by the gods to be stuck down there forever. Some believe it still exists, but it’s within the Bermuda Triangle.”

“What, pray tell, is the Bermuda Triangle,” Clarisse sighed.

“Hard to explain. Ships just… go in… and they never come out,” Annabeth shrugged. “Planes go down. Ships wreck. People who go in don’t come back out, so we don’t know if Atlantis is really there or not.”

“That’s… terrifying,” Novax whispered as he walked by.

Percy was sure he had created a healthy fear of Earth’s oceans in his crew. And he meant to, because while he loved the beach and swimming, he did want to make them shy away from the depths. They wouldn’t do well to explore it.

#percy jackson #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #star trek #fusion #nicercy #percico #if you squint

[undertaker1827]

Hey! maybe an odd request, but can you do a Sebastian Michaelis with a really funny and chaotic human where try as he might, despite not knowing or understanding human emotions and having contempt for them, he can't help but laugh, especially when they fuck with Ciel, or anyone really. I would really appreciate it.

Hello! It’s not odd at all, hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

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Okay so I think just the general chaotic vibes are enough to well and truly grab Sebastian’s attention

He thinks humans are interesting in general, but you are a positive enigma and he simply has to know more

He gets a slight shock though when he realises that he actually finds your humour funny

I think you’d have to have something of a bad/dark/sarcastic sense of humour to make this demon laugh, but once you do it one time (not even on purpose, really) you have to just keep trying to make him laugh

No one is safe from your tomfoolery, literally no one

Ciel gets short jokes from you all the time

Even if you’re the same height as him, you still make a point to say something when his height is brought up or the situation is convenient for a joke

He can’t reach something on a shelf? Aww, do you need sometime a little less vertically challenged to help you?

The earl turned to you with a fire in his eyes and would have murdered you right there if not for freezing suddenly on hearing a strange noise coming from behind him

He turned slowly to see Sebastian standing tall as ever, with a gloved hand clamped firmly over his mouth and his eyes crinkled just a little at the edges and his shoulders jumped every so often

Ciel had never been more shocked in his life when he realised his perfect demon butler was trying not to laugh

And at his own expense, on top of everything else!

You simply didn’t hesitate when it came to laughing at your own jokes, which made it all the more difficult for Sebastian to keep his mouth shut

But Sebastian wasn’t safe either

Tall jokes

Even if he’s not taller than you, he is most certainly tall enough for you to make them

You and the servants are gathered around the small wooden table in the kitchen waiting for Sebastian to start detailing the latest plan involving dinner, preparations and everything possibly imaginable for Ciel having a guest over that evening

The demon sits down and pulls the chair closer to the low table, in the process knocking his knee hard into the underside of it

Being him, he just carried on like nothing happened and the servants would have too, if not for your input

“Ooh, tall people problems!”

Your lips are curled firmly downwards in an attempt not to laugh and Sebastian just stares at you deadpan

Bard, Mey Rin and Finny remain silent for a moment before, as one, bursting out into raucous guffawing and several loud, incredibly undignified snorts

You join in, of course, and Sebastian just sighs and rolls his eyes at the display, though he can’t help but smirk just a tiny bit

Ciel has even started requesting you come with them when they go to see Undertaker for information

Your mere presence is enough to make the mortician’s lips twitch, and you invariably have him in tears before he even has a chance to ask for his payment

It’s incredibly convenient for all involved, but the thing that Undertaker loves is that you don’t tell funny jokes, you just say things in context that are simply so hilarious and make him laugh so hard that he can barely breathe

Your initial assessment of his darkened, decidedly unclean parlour was that it ‘smells like something died in here’

Cue him leaping out of a coffin with the intent of scaring you, only for you to cry out, all faux drama, “My god, it lives!”

Honestly, Undertaker would go so far as to request your presence for his payment if he thought the Young Earl would listen to a word he said

The servants too have multiple jokes thrown their way whenever you notice an opportunity and seize it with both hands

When the humour is directed at Mey Rin or Finny, Bardroy is someone who literally throws his head back and roars with laughter

Though it takes you no time at all to turn the tables and turn the joke on him

It takes him a moment to stop laughing and realise what you’ve said, which is quickly followed by a playful, “Hey!”

Mey Rin and Finny start giggling at his indignation, and you can’t help but join in

#kuroshitsuji sebastian x reader #black butler sebastian x reader #sebastian michaelis x reader #sebastian x reader #black butler sebastian #kuroshitsuji sebastian #sebastian michaelis #undertaker #ciel phantomhive #mey rin #finny kuroshitsuji #bardroy #black butler #black butler x reader #adrian crevan #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji x reader #black butler reader inserts