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#blocker skills
drawinbutter · 2 years
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Roller Derby Punchline Madlibs 4: Can-Opener Amethyst. (In roller derby, a "Can Opener" is a kind of block where the skater pops up and catches her opponent in the sternum or chest).
if you have suggestions for more verbs or nouns to put into roller derby phrases for more of these madlibs cartoons, put them in the comments!
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bun-haired-nutjob · 9 months
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hi sorry to everyone i've sent messages to or received messages from but not responded to, i've been very busy and just bad at social skills as of late, it might be a while before i can properly respond to you all
but i come bringing good news:
I AM OFFICIALLY ON HRT AS OF TODAY!!!
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Incidentally, I resent the fact that most web traffic comes from mobiles in this day and age.
Incidentally, I also resent Tumblr Live being A Thing. The degradation of the mass mind continues.
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thesnadger · 1 year
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I spent last night looking at Neocities sites and here are my takeaways:
There's a real push to keeping the internet weird, open and less corporate-driven -- info on bypassing paywalls, protecting your data, archiving web media and basic coding/tech literacy.
(I found one tutorial on how to make a pop up that detects whether someone has an ad blocker and suggests they install one if they don't! Love that.)
There's also resources on finding the kind of internet that isn't the default experience anymore - alternate search engines I hadn't even heard of, human-made link lists and webrings. (Webrings! Turns out they never went away!)
If any of that sounds interesting to you, by the way - sadgrl.online has a lot of it and is possibly the best thing on the internet????
The "90's web" aesthetic is really fun and nostalgic, but I particularly loved seeing some people bring the better parts of the "modern internet" into it. What if we had weird, eye-searing personal sites BUT with plaintext alternatives for accessibility purposes? CW for flashing lights and unreality triggers?
(Again sadgrl comes in with a lot of resources for making your website accessible.)
Most of all, I'm honestly emotional about all the sites I found that were like, "hi! I'm 14 and this is my website where I talk about stuff I like haha."
It's so good that so many kids and teens who never experienced the "old internet" are still finding stuff like this and making their own weird stuff! Not just because weird websites are more fun, but because these skills are being passed down.
Anyway it's great and who knows maybe I'll make my own site sometime to keep horror media recommendations or something.
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asuiru · 1 year
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lol glebe mines was easy as fuck actually
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cult-of-husbandos · 8 months
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yami ai [yandere] - Hot Yandere Singles Near You
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synopsis: you click on a random pop-up ad and are visited by weird smiling man in suit.
genre: pure crack (like fr), fluff, tbh there's not really a plot
word count: 4.4k
warnings: implied stalking
Isn’t insomnia just the worst? Like, seriously? What’s the point of being a human being with antiquated thoughts and impressive cognitive and motor skills when your brain fights you on the most basic stuff. For example, like sleeping!!
You must’ve refreshed YouTube and Twitter over a thousand times. Over 8 billion people in the world and there’s no new content anywhere? You groaned and jumped back over onto Twitter, silently praying and pleading for something new to show up on your feed. Maybe a wacky billionaire got eaten by a mob of homeless people or maybe a news article about a Floridian doing something gross and outrageous and virtually impossible.
But nope. Nothing.
Not a single thing piqued your interest. You groaned again and looked at the time on your dimly lit phone. It was past 2 a.m. and you were bored out of your mind. You then lazily clicked on Google and sighed.
‘Maybe someone posted a new fanfic over something…’ you hoped. And even if there wasn’t a new fic uploaded you’ll just read the old ones you favorited. Perhaps reading something might put you to sleep.
As you were scrolling through your favorite ship tags, you were startled by a pop up ad covering up 90% of the screen and flashing emojis.
“Ugh… seriously?” you groaned. “They should make ad-blockers on phones for this shit.” You squinted at the bright lettering emanating from your phone even though it was at the lowest brightness setting.
⚠️(99+) Hot Yandere Singles NEAR YOU⚠️
Yandere’s…? Singles? Near me?
The pop-up ad had flashing peach, cherry, and eggplant emojis with a water splash emoji at the end to signify… well, you’re not sure what it was trying to signify. On the sides of the ad, it showed pictures of very gorgeous men and women, all striking suggestive poses. Underneath the title was a small summary that read. ‘These lonely desperate yanderes wanna meet you! They’ll most likely find you anyway, but wouldn’t you rather be the honey to a bee instead of a fly? Try it NOW for FREE!! No hookups! No catfishes! No sign ups!’ Then below that were a few empty boxes to fill out requiring your personal information.
"..."
Was this a porn ad?!
No way at 2:45 in the freaking morning did you just get a porn pop-up ad while googling mafia au fanfiction. This has to be some kind of joke. Maybe it was prank and someone was just fucking with you. And how and why would there be 99+ yanderes in your area?! You couldn’t be surrounded by that many psychos. Could you? Whatever the case may be, it was now past 2 a.m. and as the rule of life states ‘Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.’. You don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or just reckless curiosity, but you gave your shoulders a shrug and mumbled a ‘fuck it’ as you put in your information. Your name, number, gender, age, preferred sex, email, and mailing address. As you clicked submit and continued scrolling, you gave very little thought about how this would go down.
On one hand, the ad turns out to be real and you get a partner out of this. Or
You get quartered, stalked, doxxed, and murdered like the dumbass you are for putting your personal info into a sketchy porno-like pop-up on Google.
Or, it turns out to be a prank and some asshole sitting in a basement has a good laugh at you.
Meh. You’ll deal with it in the morning.
*****
You were jolted awake with the sound of rapid knocking coming from your front door. You groaned into your pillow as you tried to ignore the person desperately wanting your attention from outside your apartment. You finally got some sleep only for it to get interrupted. Only minutes and minutes of continued knocking without any signs of letting up, you decide to get up and shoo away whoever it was. You wearily grabbed your phone to check the time.
8:02 a.m.
You huffed as you stormed towards the front door.
“If this a fucking Jehova’s Witness, I swear to god…” you grumbled. You swung open the door and threw the person a harsh glare, only to be met with popping sounds as confetti flew in your face.
“Good morning, my dear darling~!! Are you ready to begin on the road to happiness and love?” the stranger shouted a far too happy tone for 8 in the morning.
You took a step back in shock, fully awake as you waved and dusted the confetti from your face and hair. You looked the strange man up and down. He was smiling ear to ear and wore an expensive looking suit to warm for the summer weather. A briefcase stood right beside him along with dozens of other party poppers and a white plastic bag filled with brown bottles with oddly enough no labels on them. You looked at the man’s face. He was surprisingly attractive and without a single flaw anywhere. His hair was jet black and shined a very prominent gloss. You were honestly kind of embarrassed to be seen by him when you looked like such a mess. The man let out a chuckle.
“Oh my.” he said, gently putting his hand over his mouth with vague concern. “I hope I didn’t startle you too much. I probably should’ve sent you an email notifying you of the time I was coming. I’m sorry that must’ve been a troubling awakening.”
You quirked your eyebrow and took another step back, grabbing onto the doorknob so that you could slam it right in his face if things got too weird.
“And… you are?”
“Oh my, oh my. Where are my manners? How careless of me to assume.” The man bowed with a curtsy. “I am the ‘Matchmaker’. My job is to pair two people with their fated soulmate and give each of my clients their happily ever after. It’s very nice to meet you, (Y/N) (L/N).”
You felt a chill crawl down your spine. How’d this weirdo know your name?! You tried to close the door as fast as you could, but the ‘Matchmaker’ was even faster. He clicked his tongue at you, his smile unchanging, but his eyes seemed to harden his gentle tone.
“My, how rude. Is that any way to treat a guest?” He let out another chuckle. “You’ll never find love that way.”
“H-How did you know my name?” you stuttered.
Again, another chuckle. What was so funny? “My dear~. You gave it to me.”
What the hell was he talking about? How could you have given this creep your name? Was he a stalker? A junkie? Noticing the confusion on your face, the man spoke up again.
“Oh my dear. Do you really not remember?” he asked, tilting his head in feign innocence. “You filled out an ad to meet singles in your area. And here I am, coming to fulfill that ad.”
You eased up on the tension you had on the door and tilted your head in surprised confusion. “That was a real ad?”
The man stood up tall and smiled earnestly again. “Of course. However, you are the first person to actually fill out that ad. Really, this is more of a celebration to both of us.”
Huh, so the pop-up ad was real.
Not a prank.
And now there’s a psycho standing at your front door promising you a partner from an actual yandere.
“I honestly thought it was a prank. I mean… yanderes? Isn’t that just an anime thing?”
“Oh, I assure you my darling.” he said with a snide smirk. “Yanderes are real. And when they heard about signing up, it was like tossing chicken in a sea of alligators. All clamoring to be the first person to take a bite.”
Okay, gross but kind of sweet.
“May I come in?”
“Huh?”
“Well, my dear. It would be easier to come in and talk through the process of how this goes instead of standing here.”
“Oh, um… Suuuree-”
“Great! My my darling~. What a lovely home. Very well decorated.” The man quickly strided into your house and made himself comfortable in your living room, looking as if he was analyzing every detail about your house.
Richard Chase would’ve loved your dumbass.
You shut the door and followed him into your own apartment and offered him a seat on your couch. Might as well, right? You’ve gone this far and you're still alive.
“Umm…” you hesitantly shifted from one foot to another. “Do you… um… want some coffee maybe? Or tea? Maybe a glass of water? If you haven;t eaten breakfast yet, I whip you up something.”
Yeah, sure. Feed the man with only a title for a name and waltzed right into your house after showing up after you put in your personal information into a random pop-up ad at 3 a.m. promising you a happy life with hot single yanderes in your area. You are the pinnacle of human genius. The apex of natural selection. The creme de la creme of common sense. Charles Darwin would be so impressed.
“How thoughtful. Just coffee would be fine. Thank you.”
After brewing a quick pot, you sat across from the man facing him heads on and gently slid him his steaming cup. After a while of taking little sips in weird silence, he spoke up again.
“Before we continue, I’d just like to say: Thank you so much for applying for this wonderful opportunity!! Not many people would click on an ad requiring doxxing information to meet their soulmates! Again, congrats on being our number one willing client!”
“Willing client?” you asked.
“Well, of course! For some reason, humans seem to really love the idea of a yandere until there’s one standing on their front porch!” he laughed.
“Humans? I’m sorry. Are you not human, Mr…?”
“Ah ah! No need for formalities! Just ‘The Matchmaker’ or simply ‘Matchmaker’.
“Oh, so… you don’t have a true name? Or is that just a title?”
“Oh darling~.” he sang sweetly. “That’s none of anyone’s fucking business, is it?”
Your eyes widened and let out a nervous chuckle. “Okay, got it! Just Matchmaker. Lovely name. Adore it. In fact, I love when strange mysterious men only give a title for a name.” What the hell does that even mean? You had no idea what you were saying anymore.
“Heh, smart cookie.” He winked. “Shall we begin?”
“Um, yeah, so… how does this work exactly?” you finally asked.
“Simple, my dear darling. Think of this as an ordinary matchmaking appointment. I have a stack of potential soulmates all ready to meet you. I have the same information about them that I also have of you. Each potential soulmate also has a picture so if you don’t really feel up to meeting face-to-face just yet you can look over the picture and see who captures your heart.”
“Face-to-face? So these guys have my picture too?” “Of course! And might I say, those pictures don’t do you justice. In all my years in this business, I’ve never seen such an obsession and overload of potential soulmates for just one person.”
You lightly blushed. “I-I don’t know about that… I barely got any sleep last night so I probably look like a zombie right now…”
“Au contraire, Darling. You look absolutely stunning. If I weren’t such a professional I would burn all these forms and claim you as my one and only~.”
You felt your entire face flush red as the Matchmaker pierced your soul with his longing gaze. It felt like he was staring into your very essence – like he could read you like a book. You nervously cleared your throat and shifted your eyes away, hoping to bring down your blush.
“S-So! Um… should we get started?” you stuttered, internally kicking yourself for being so easily flustered by a couple of smooth words. Ted Bundy would’ve had a field day with your dumbass.
“Ready whenever you are, my dear.” The Matchmaker set his briefcase on your coffee table and pulled out a single form and slid it over towards you. “Let’s start off with an easy one.”
You looked at the form along with the picture of a very attractive man paperclipped to the paper. According to the form, his name is Hamazawa Akita. He was in his early 20’s, had a varying array of hobbies from hiking to scuba diving, and was very much in love with you.
“Well, what do you think?”
“Hm, well, he’s very cute. And very active.”
“Would you like to meet him?”
“Um, sure… is there a number I could call or…?”
“No need! We can bring him in right now.” The Matchmaker snapped his fingers and you whipped your head towards the front door where Akita strolled in, all smiles. You looked back over the Matchmaker. “Did I not lock my door? Wait. More importantly, how’d he get here?!”
The Matchmaker smiled. “My dear, when you’re in this business you pick up a few tricks.” He then turned his attention towards Akita who now stood in the middle of the living room. “No. 1 would you like to introduce yourself?”
Akita stood tall and his eyes seemed to beam directly at you. “My name is Hamazawa Akita. Ever since I saw your picture I’ve dreamed about sweeping you off your feet and claiming you all to myself!”
“So, like 8 hours ago?”
“Yes!! But those hours feel like years when being away from you.”
“Hmm.”
“So, what do you think? Are you feeling the butterflies?”
You looked up Akita up and down and your face twisted as if you’re deciding on whether or not to buy a car or a piece of clothing.
“Um, to be honest my guy. I’m not feeling it.”
“Huh?”
“Excuse me, my darling?”
“Weeeelllll…. I mean, don’t get me wrong! You’re very attractive and your words are sweet, but I don’t think I believe any of it. Like, you just admitted to wanting me all to yourself only 8 hours ago, but I don’t really feel anything. Not even a shiver.”
The Matchmaker and Akita both looked at each other like they weren’t really expecting that. With a quick wave of his hand, Akita slumped his shoulders and headed towards your front door. You shouted out an apology as the dejected suitor walked out.
“Well, I didn’t expect that. I don’t normally get such competent clients. At least those that get past kicking and screaming.” The Matchmaker grinned. You shrugged.
“I guess I just know what I like. All the anime I’ve watched kind of gives you that high standard of what makes a yandere a real yandere, y’know?”
He nodded. “I cannot agree more. Well, we have plenty more where that came from. Shall we continue?”
*****
Papers were strewn across your coffee table in an unorganized fashion as both you and your estranged guest were tired beyond belief. You had no idea how many hours had passed nor how many guests were in and out of your apartment. You’re honestly surprised none of your neighbors complained or called the police. Your apartment would’ve looked like a clown car if anyone had been watching from the outside. You honestly lost count after No. 256. You let out another yawn and laid on your side trying your best to keep your eyes open. Maybe 2 hours of sleep wasn’t enough for the multiple interviews you had to conduct today. Maybe your 9th grade biology teacher was right. Maybe you are going to die alone. A weary sigh brought you from your thoughts.
“My, my. You are definitely the most high standard client I’ve ever had. I didn’t think we’d get to the triple digits in just one day.”
You also sighed and sat up in your seat. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… All these guys are cute and all, but they’re all lacking something. They’re either too forceful or not forceful enough. Too wimpy or too strong. Or too obsessed or just incredibly so lovesick that I feel like they’d fall in love with just about anyone who’d be willing. Ugh, why can’t this be simpler like adopting an animal?” You groaned. You also hadn’t thought this would take this long. You didn’t really think of yourself as having high standards until today. Until today, you’d be happy with anyone close to you in age and with a heartbeat. Who knew picking out a yandere soulmate would be so challenging. And who knew that there’d be so many willing participants! The Matchmaker reached into his briefcase and pulled another stack of forms and slid them over to you. There must be at least over a hundred papers in front of you. How did he have so many?!
“How about we switch things up, hm? You’ll look over the papers and when you see someone that catches your eye, I’ll bring him in.” He made it sound like you were adopting a dog or a cat. But if this made it go any faster, you were willing to try.
After about 3 more stacks of papers, you were starting to lose hope and patience. When you got to the last few papers, you stopped dead in your tracks. Woah baby!
“Woah baby!” you exclaimed.
“Did you find someone you like?” The Matchmaker asked hopefully.
“Oh yeah. This guy.” You showed him the paper. He furrowed his brows a little.
“Are you sure? I don’t think I remember this man. His name and face don’t seem familiar.”
“Really? Maybe he’s a late entry or something?”
Matchmaker stroked his chin in thought. “I’ll go check it out. Be right back, dear. I’m very sorry for this inconvenience.”
You waved off his apology with a smile and he left your apartment. You then leaned back with a groan. You just wanted to find your ‘soulmate’ or whatever and move on with this day. You closed your eyes for a second and waited patiently for Matchmaker to come back.
Tap tap tap
Just like deja vu, you were awoken by rapid knocking. Except this time it wasn’t coming from your front door.
Tap tap tap tap
It sounds like it’s coming from… your window?
Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
You quickly got up and walked towards your window and opened it.
“Woah!” You jumped back a little as you were met face to face with the man that you had picked out and that the Matchmaker went to go find.
‘Wow… he’s even cuter in person!!’
He let out a delicious chuckle and gave you a charming smile.
“I didn’t mean to scare you, darling~. Hehe, though I think that fear in your eyes was worth it. So adorable~.” For the second time today, a complete weirdo stranger has made you blush. Wait…
“Wait! I don’t have a balcony and I’m on the third floor. How’d you-?” You peeked over the window to see if he was pulling a Criss Angel.
“I have incredible grip strength~.” he winked.
“Oooh I’m sure~.” you swooned. For a weirdo, he was a smooth talking weirdo.
“Oh, I got these for you, sweetheart~.” He pulled himself up and sat on your windowsill and pulled out a bouquet of roughly cut flowers from behind him. You gasped and grabbed them, giving them a smell.
“These are my favorite!! How did you know? I don’t think that was one of the pieces of info required for the Matchmaker.” you asked.
The stranger chuckled. “Easy. I never filled out that stupid application.”
You looked up from your flowers and titled your head like a confused puppy.
“I already know everything about you. I don’t need a stupid piece of paper to tell me what I already know about you. Like, how I know that you have secret sweets hidden all throughout your room. Or that whenever you have a good day you love to sing Stray Kids.”
He inched closer to you as you backed up further into the room.
“You won’t eat frozen pizza, but every so often you eat a lobster roll from a food truck from Gary on Main St.. You have life destroying evidence of your boss that you’re planning on using on your last day. You’ve seen the Barbie movie 5 times. And…”
You felt your legs hit the couch and tried to keep yourself from falling onto your back like a defenseless turtle.
“Your favorite anime is… Dar-” You quickly covered the stranger’s mouth with a furious blush.
“I only watch it ironically!! I don’t love it! It’s not my favorite!” you quickly clarified. The gravity of the situation was made perfectly clear after that. This man really knew all about you. Honestly, you’re so loud that you’re pretty sure that people on the ground outside could hear you singing. And you don’t really pay attention to your surroundings so it's easy for someone to know that you eat from a food truck every other week at specific times. But, knowing your favorite secretly watched anime?
“W-Who… are you?” you stuttered. You’re pretty sure you already knew the answer.
He laughed and you felt his lips brush against your fingers. You blushed and tried to pull back, only to be stopped by his hands.
“Sweetie~. You already know who I am.” He grabbed the paper from the stack and put it next to his face. “See? I’m Yami Ai. Your soulmate.”
Before you could even process what was happening, you were gently pushed onto the couch with Yami hovering over you holding your hands beside your head. You couldn’t stop the blush erupting from your neck to your face. Your heart was beating way too fast and your stomach felt jumpy and queasy. Butterflies.
You cleared your throat. “Um… so, if you didn’t fill out a form then how come The Matchmaker had your profile and picture? And why didn’t you use the front door?”
Yami smirked and leaned in closer. “It’s pretty simple to pull off when your apartment does security checks on new guests entering the building.”
“But, my apartment doesn’t–” you stopped. “Ooooh… So you impersonated a security guard, slipped your profile and info into his briefcase, and were planning on showing up as one of the potential singles? That’s… convoluted. But, smart.” You shrugged. “And since you obviously knew which floor I was on and which window was mine, I assume you’ve been watching me for a while and were watching me last night when I couldn’t sleep?”
Yami laughed again. “You are so smart~. You really catch on quickly, don’t you?”
You shrugged again with a nervous smile. “W-Well, obviously not smart enough to not put in my personal info and have strange men come in and out of my apartment.”
Yami was quick to turn his gentle smile into a hard, harsh frown. His grip on your wrists grew tighter and you winced under the force he placed in you.
“You know, my darling. It’s partially my fault. If I hadn’t backed out and taken you that night, you’d never be in this situation. With those men eyeing you up and down like you were theirs. Having that smiling freak calling you ‘dear’ and ‘darling’ when only I can call you that. I was planning on getting rid of the competition, but you did that for me.”
Yami loosened his grip and lifted you up, staring into your eyes. You blushed again.
“Rejection after rejection. Some guys didn’t even get 2 words out before you turned away. Of course my darling would only want the most perfect man. Isn’t that right, darling~?”
“Hehehe~” you leaned in with a giggle. “You’re so sweet~.”
You are such a baby for flattery.
*****
“My dear darling, I’m so very sorry for the inconvenience. I didn’t mean to be gone for so long, but I could not find this person you–” Matchmaker explained, rushing in and stopping dead in his tracks when he saw both you and Yami, the man who left 30 minutes ago to go find, eating breakfast in the living room.
Sitting in his lap.
And feeding each other.
“Oh! Matchmaker!” you exclaimed, quickly swallowing your food. You didn’t notice Yami tightening his grip on your waist nor did you notice the cold glare and tense atmosphere enveloping the room. “Look who I found~.”
“I see…” he said hesitantly.
“He climbed up the building and came in through the window.”
“My~. How romantic~.” he sang. “So, I take it that you are satisfied with your soulmate? Or… do you wish to continue searching?” he asked teasingly. Before Yami could say anything, you quickly spoke again.
“Yep! I’m sure.” You ruffled Yami’s hair and nuzzled up against him. “I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else.” Yami hugged you closer to his chest as you giggled. “Plus, he makes the most amazing breakfast in the world, so extra points!” you cheered. You reached out towards the Matchmaker’s briefcase.
“Here you go! I put all the papers back in for you.”
Matchmaker quickly walked over and grabbed his briefcase along with your hand. “Well, my dear. It’s been an honor. You are truly the most remarkable and memorable client I have ever had.” he said with a bow and made his way towards the door. However, before leaving he chuckled and looked back at the both of you. “Although, it’s a shame,” he sighed. “Maybe if I had stayed, I would’ve snatched you up myself.”
And with a final loud laugh, The Matchmaker disappeared, but not before Yami stood up to lounge and attack the fleeting man like a guard dog. You snorted and caressed his face to calm him down. “Relax, Yami. He’s just joking.”
“Well, I hated his joke. Fuckin’ freak…” he grumbled. “And it’s Ai. You’re mine now. You should get used to calling each other by our first names.”
You smiled and leaned against him. “Okay, Ai. Whatever you say.”
“And if a man comes to the door, never EVER answer it, got it!”
“Mhm.”
“I’m serious, darling. I’ll gouge their eyes out right in front of you.”
“Yes sir.”
The rest of your life was going to be very interesting. Suck it, Ms. Braxton. I guess you’re the one dying alone. Because you have a yandere boyfriend! And she has gonorrhea. Bitch.
---
a/n: this is so shit. i'm so sorry that i've been MIA for a while. work has been pretty crazy and i haven't really felt much motivated to write. however, i'm trying to get back into it now. with this goofy shit. kind of a joke piece, but i needed to write something silly and not serious at all to relax. (also i've been writing since 4 a.m., so...) anyways, i'm going to try and update regulary or at least post something.
Here's my YouTube. I make anime playlists.
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seospicybin · 25 days
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Hyunjin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (20,4k words)
Author's note: This is the beginning of an end to the series so please enjoy x
HOST: Lana is back! And she's got a team of hot, sexy singles. This group of people hook up so fast but nothing compares to how fast they run from commitment and their world will fall apart when they find out their dream vacation is in fact a sexless retreat hosted by the world's biggest cock-blocker. With a $200,000 prize at stake, will they learn to have deep, meaningful relationships? Or will temptations still be Too Hot To Handle?
-
Hyunjin doesn't know what to expect.
The show is the first of its kind and it's also his first time being a part of it. The fact that the staff got him blindfolded doesn't help him relax, a staff holds him by the arm to lead him somewhere. He obviously can't see anything but he hears the lapping waves from his right side and in the background, he hears low chatters from behind and in front of him.
The staff eventually tells him to stop walking and turns his body the other way, he doesn't know what to do next except to wait for further instructions. They make him wait for a minute until a voice comes, a distorted, robot-like voice from somewhere close to him.
"Conquerors, you can now remove your blindfolds!"
Hyunjin immediately reaches for the back of his head to untie the blindfold and keeps his eyes closed until he takes it off. The sun blinds him the second he opens his eyes, he quickly shields his eyes with his hand and squints to adjust them to the bright light.
He hears a few chuckles from next to him and girls squealing across from him, it's when he lowers his hand he can finally see the girls standing on the opposite side. For a split second, he feels ecstatic to be the only guy there but then he turns his head side to side and realizes that's just his wishful thinking.
While the girls are huddling around and hugging each other, he exchanges handshakes and side hugs with the other male contestants.
"Hyunjin," he introduces his name around with a friendly smile.
"What's up, bro?" The one with an impeccable mustache and a sheer Spanish accent, Diego says.
After the males are done introducing themselves to each other, they walk over to the girls to do the same to them.
"It's hot, huh?" Says the guy with long blond hair and pale skin, Andy.
Hyunjin can't tell if he's talking about the sunny weather or the girls, either way, he agrees with him. He can't even decide which one to look at. they're all so attractive that it feels like his eyes are having a feast right now.
To get girls, Hyunjin never really has to work hard for it, just a little stare and a little smile, then he gets it. He does just that as he tells his name to the girls, oozing with confidence and charms. The eyes he's getting from a couple of girls... oh, he can tell that he makes just the right impression on them.
Before he can make any moves though, the voice comes back. He finally learns that the voice is coming from the gate of what he assumes is where he'll be staying for the rest of the show.
"Conquerors, welcome to paradise!"
Everyone is cheering in response to that and Hyunjin is excited as well even though he never really learned how the show is going to work, they only told him that it's a reality show and he'll stay in the villa with the other contestants, having fun and enjoying himself so he signed up for it.
"Each of you has a particular skill and so you were selected for a mission: conquering this paradise."
Another wave of cheers and exclaims bursts out of everyone as they stand facing the gate while the voice continues talking.
"Behind you, there are some buried treasure chests, and inside one of them is the only key to the gate. By finding this kiss, you'd be allowed to enter paradise."
Hyunjin turns around almost in unison with everyone else, he sees that there's a big circle around a plot of sand and two crates filled with shovels for everyone to use.
"You have ten minutes to finish the task. Good luck!" The voice concludes.
-
HYUNJIN: I look like a Disney prince but I am no prince [Smirks] I have no time for relationships. I work as a model, I meet a lot of people and there are always parties and after parties. Sometimes there's a kiss, sometimes there's something more [laughs] That's why people described me as a spoiled playboy [grins]
-
"I joined this show to do some manual labor," said no one ever.
You stare at the pile of shovels before reluctantly picking it up, this is not how you want to start the show but it's the only way to win, so you put your gloves on and start digging. When you think you're the worst one here, you see a girl holding the shovel the wrong way.
"Guys, I don't know how to dig," says the short, blond-haired girl with freckles, Edie.
"Like this!" The curly-haired girl with round big eyes, Frida says, showing her how to properly dig the sand.
The girls are digging at the same spot so you walk to the other part and start digging there. While two guys already found two chests, the other two guys are standing on the sideline not far from you.
"Thank God we're here, man," the guy says to the other.
The other agrees with him with a fistbump and then says, "So many hot chicks, it's crazy."
You keep digging the sand while pretending not to hear them and eventually, you hit something hard so you use your hand to take it out.
"I found one!" You excitedly announce even though you haven't successfully taken the chest out of the sand yet.
"That's amazing!" Edouard praises, you can easily identify him from his French accent.
He then kneels next to you to help you pull the chest out and hands it to you.
"Thank you," you mutter with a smile.
Ten minutes have passed and the voice returns to tell everyone the time is up. Everyone is more than glad to stop digging and get rid of the shovels.
"Let's see if you found the key."
The staff makes everyone who obtained the treasure chests line up in front of the gate and take turns to open it.
The guy on the farthest left gets to open his chest first and turns out it's empty. The second guy takes his turn but it's also empty. You shake your treasure chest to know if the key is in yours but it's useless to find out when the third guy found the key in his treasure chest.
"Congratulations! You've conquered the first stage. You may access the villa."
To say that you're disappointed is an understatement, it's not so much about the key, it's how you obtained the treasure chest that gets you a bit upset.
Pablo, the guy who found the key, steps forward and uses the key on the big padlock. He throws the padlock aside once he successfully opens it and pushes the big gate that reveals the luxurious villa.
"Welcome to my house, guys!" Pablo jokingly says as he leads the group further inside.
Everyone is in awe of what they're seeing, a big swimming pool, yards, and the big villa that sits in the center of it all. You've never seen such a lavish piece of property, it's so big that you possibly need a day or two to learn your way around.
The sound of the champagne pops open startles you and a girl links her arm with yours, a beautiful girl with long dark hair and sleeve tattoos on both of her arms. You rake your brain to recall her name, Vic.
Everyone eventually grabs a glass for themselves and patiently waits for their turn for Edouard to fill it with champagne.
You catch the guy standing next to you having a sip before the toast, "Drinking before toasting is bad luck, you know," you tell him.
Hearing you say that, the guy turns to the side to face you and it's baffled you how beautiful he is, the kind that would make anyone the slightest bit intimidated by it.
The introduction everyone did earlier was too fast and too brief, you can't remember most of everyone's names because of it. However, there are only two long-haired guys here, one is blonde and his name is Andy so that makes him the other one and you're sure his name is Hyunjin.
Hyunjin has a small face yet his facial features delightfully complement each other and the eyebrow piercing should be a violation of such otherworldly visual but instead, it gives him that edge.
"It's not bad luck when I'm here and having this drink with you," he says, clinking his glass with yours then bravely takes another sip.
His stare is the opposite of the sweet smile he's giving you, it's bold and confident. You shouldn't be afraid of superstitious, you should be afraid of the type of guy that breaks your heart and he's standing right there in front of you, daring you to take a sip of bad luck.
"The hell, right?" You nonchalantly say then you bravely sip your wine.
His eyes don't stray away from you even after you return his dare to him, he keeps staring at your face with his mouth slightly parted open and his tongue peeking out on one corner of his mouth.
"Let's make a toast!" Edouard says, being the first to raise his glass in the air.
-
YOU: I think my shine bothers people a little but I'm not here to please anyone [grins] I play tennis in my spare time so I am quite competitive. I think I have the biggest chance to win this show... I will be the first person to score [giggles] and I always get what I want.
-
A big splashing sound startles you this time and it's coming from Pablo who jumps into the swimming pool. Soon, the other guys join him in the pool while the girls remain on the side, not wanting to risk ruining their hair or their make-up.
"Are you girls going to stand there?" Pablo asks, squinting his eyes to look at the girls.
"You have no idea what it's like drying this hair," Frida says with a subtle eye roll.
"It takes me forever to do my hair, I'm not getting it wet now," Marie adds.
You also remain on the side by sitting on the edge of the pool next to Vic with your feet dipped in the warm pool water.
Not long after, the males join the girls on the side of the pool to drink more champagne, talking about random things from the strangest places everyone has had sex to everyone's sexual preferences.
You're draining your wine glass empty when the question aimed at you, "How about you? Are you bi?"
"I think everyone is bisexual here," Edie playfully remarks.
You decide to swallow your drink first then wipe your lips after, "I've kissed girls but I don't know..." you doubtfully answer.
Vic puts her drink away and turns her head at you, "Let's test it then."
She grabs you by the chin and slowly brings your head closer so she can place a nice peck on your lips. You let out a smile when she lets go.
"That's nice," you genuinely say.
"I want some too," Pablo says who happens to witness the kiss.
You and Vic simultaneously burst into laughter at his sudden request but then she signals you to give him a peck together with her. You happen to want to fool around so you play along with her and give Pablo a quick three-way kiss with Vic.
"We could do better!" Pablo says, teasing for another go at it.
Vic laughs and puts her hand on your thigh, "Come on! You can do better!" She says to you.
Feeling challenged, you lean in first to kiss Pablo and Vic joins in a second later, you can feel their lips on you and the occasional tongue licks in between. You pull away first but Vic gets her hand on the nape of your neck, not letting you pull away from her kiss yet until she lets go.
The next thing you know, Diego and Frida are kissing and so are Andy and Edie, not caring that you're sitting next to them and trying so hard to ignore them.
-
YOU: I think our silly little kisses stirred things up and made everyone horny [chuckles]
-
Not going to lie, Hyunjin likes seeing you kiss another girl. Not the part where Pablo is involved but the part where Vic latched onto your lips after you pulled away from the kiss, that's just hot it gets him a little flustered.
All he can think of right now is when he's going to have his turn to kiss you.
"Are you guys going to stay in the pool? Because I want to see the bedrooms," Frida says, encouraging everyone to start exploring the villa.
"Oh, yeah. I want to see the bedrooms," Diego says, hurriedly getting out of the pool.
Hyunjin follows the majority by heading to the bedrooms even though he wants to stay in the pool a little longer, leaving a trail of wet footsteps behind him.
From the back, he can see that some couples are forming. First, there is Diego and Frida as they lead the group, walking hand-in-hand to the bedrooms. Next to him is Andy and Edie, walking side by side while cutely smiling at each other.
Hopefully, the third couple would be you and him, he can imagine how powerful would that be but before that, he has to take care of Pablo who has had his eyes on you ever since you shared a kiss with him.
The girls are squealing the moment they set their feet in the bedrooms but Hyunjin gets it why everyone is so excited at the sight of the beds.
"Guys, there's only six beds and there's ten of us," Frida says, making it even more obvious to everyone,
"Then we'll have to share," Andy innocently says.
"Who sleeps with whom?" Frida asks a provoking question.
Vic climbs onto the bed and takes your hand to join her, then starts to jump on it while holding hands.
Hyunjin randomly picks a bed and sits on it, ignoring that his trunks are dripping wet from swimming just to watch you bouncing on the bed like a kid having a sugar rush. It's a delightful thing to see until he hears the sound of the bed breaking down and the two of you abruptly stop jumping on it, collapsing onto the bed just to break into laughter.
"Guys, there's another way we could break the beds," Marie scolds you both.
But that only heightens the hilarity and you both break into another wave of laughter together.
After a moment, you go to another bed and lie down. Hyunjin wants to use this opportunity to make you his bed partner but Pablo beats him to it.
-
HYUNJIN: Everyone wants to have someone to cuddle with tonight and I know who I want to share the bed with [smirks]
-
While the boys are gathered in the gazebo in the backyard, the girls choose the lounge to gather with drinks have been served on the wooden table. What else is there to talk about but the ones that aren't in the room with them: The boys.
"A toast for us girls!" Edie initiates a toast with the glasses filled with chilled wine.
The girls then take a seat on the curved sofa and get comfortable talking about their choice of guys, unlike you who still need time to openly share things with them.
"I'd hook up with everyone but the one I like best is Edouard," Vic says.
"For me, it's Edouard, Hyunjin, and Andy..." Edie cracks a laugh at herself and continues, "I think we should all kiss each other."
You see that Edouard is quite popular among the girls and you can see why, he's tall, he has that chocolate skin and a great smile, plus he talks in a sexy accent, everyone wants a piece of that French man.
"Okay then we should jump on Edouard and everyone gets a kiss," Edie says with a hysterical laugh.
Everyone is free to be with whoever they want to be and this doesn't bother you at all but if everyone kissed your man, you don't think you'll like it that much.
"You can kiss anyone except my Diego," Frida says, putting her ownership over him already.
"I think you two look great together," Vic says while holding her glass close to her lips.
"But girl, I want to hook up with him too," Marie says, in the most unapologetic way.
"Oh, girl..." Frida awkwardly sighs, deciding not to respond to that.
It suddenly turns quiet and awkward in here, worse is you're sitting between Frida and Marie, your eyes glancing side to side to see if there's a potential to be a catfight here. Thankfully, things stay civil but you need a big gulp of wine.
Today is only the first day in paradise and you can see some things happening already. Some people are forming couples but you think everyone should get to know each other first. While the others are scattering around to make a move on their person of interest, you decide to have a moment for yourself to truly enjoy the paradise.
All of a sudden, someone comes from behind you and interrupts the peaceful moment.
"May I sit here?" Pablo asks.
He doesn't wait for your answer but takes a seat on your sunlounger and forces you to scoot to the side to make space for him.
"Yeah, sure," you awkwardly say.
He puts his arm around you and makes you rest your head on it, sharing the sunlounger.
"Miss me?" He asks.
"It hasn't been that long," you jokingly say with sheer sarcasm.
"Come here to tell you I can't stop thinking about our kiss," he mutters to you.
You did the three-way kiss with him to fool around but it seems like he's the only one thinking it's more than that, "Yeah?"
He has his hand on your jaw and turns your head to the side so he can kiss you. You let him have a kiss then quickly pull away.
He then presses his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "I think we should share the bed so we can do more than a kiss tonight."
You turn your head the other way and laugh it off, pretending to fix your hair when you're actually trying to put a space between you and him.
He senses that too but instead of letting you have that space, he pulls you closer and kisses your cheek, "Are you scared of getting too close to me?"
"No..." you weakly answer.
Pablo is what you call a textbook player, you recognize the games he's playing but what gives you the ick is how clingy he is. You don't know how to say that to him without hurting his ego.
"I like to talk. I talked to the other guys and all, and I want us to talk too," you say to him.
But Pablo doesn't want to do that, he comes for you for one thing only and it's not talking. He suddenly turns quiet and reclines on the lounger, he stares out at the view, letting the silence turn awkward.
"It's a gorgeous villa," he says out of the blue.
"Mmh, yeah."
"I think I want to see the rest of it," he says, getting up from the lounger to explore the villa.
-
YOU: With Pablo... [sighs] I think he came on too strong and we're lacking in conversations.
-
Pablo had his chance at you and he blew it.
That doesn't worry Hyunjin. He always has a good aim so he won't hesitate to take his turn to take a shot at you. He knows it's the right time to make a move on you since you're alone, lying inside the hammock while looking at the view of the sea.
Hyunjin makes his arrival known by coming from the side and showing you the bottle of wine he brings with him to show you that he comes in peace. He sees your smile when you notice him coming.
"Do you mind if I join you?" He politely asks.
"Only if you intend to share that bottle with me," you answer with a sweet smile. You make space on the hammock for him and keep your feet dangling on the edge.
Hyunjin opens the bottle with a loud popping sound and the wine fizzles as it gets exposed to the air. He immediately hands the bottle to you, "You can have the first sip."
You look at him then at the bottle before taking it from his hand.
"What do you think about all this?" He asks while watching you drinking wine straight from the bottle.
You let out a gasp after taking a sip and hand the bottle to him, "It's a bit overwhelming and intense but I like it, it's fun."
He allows himself to have his first sip as he thinks of another thing to ask you, "But you're ready, right?"
You let out a low chuckle and look him in the eyes, "Well, I am, I'm open for anything. I can be a bit emotional but I respect boundaries."
You take the bottle from his hand to take a swig and wipe your lips after, "I just don't want to force anything. Things should come naturally."
"You don't have to worry about that," he pauses midsentence to take his turn to drink wine, "We have that connection."
From the smile that grows bigger on your face, he can tell that Hyunjin is pulling all the right moves. He has that right balance between being a lover and a player, but more importantly, he keeps it real, there's nothing fake in everything he does or says.
"You're so beautiful," he compliments with an intense stare into your eyes to let you know he means it, it's not just a sweet nothing.
"Thanks," You wipe the drop of wine escaping the corner of your mouth and compliment him back, "So are you, you are absolutely gorgeous."
It's hard to concentrate when all he can think about is how badly he wants to kiss you and the wine that wet your lips is not helping him.
Hyunjin tilts his head slightly to the side and asks, "What do you like about me?"
You trail the mouth of the bottle with your index finger as you think of an answer.
"The whole thing, I guess,” you answer with a delighted laugh but fiercely stare back into his eyes, “But the eyes, especially."
It's cute that one second, you're shy and the next moment, you're this confident woman who stares right into his soul. He touches his lips to make you avert your attention from them and murmurs, "How about these lips? These lips do work, you know."
He teases you more by touching his lips with his fingers and doubles the intensity of his gaze into your eyes.
"Yeah?" You shyly smile again.
He props a hand against his head and drops his voice as it turns low and sultry, "Want to try them?"
You let out an amused laugh and hold down your hair on your shoulder from the wind, "Well, we drink from the same bottle, may as well..."
Once he notices that you're slowly leaning in, he hurriedly tilts his head upward to let you easily land your lips on his. He kisses you to show you how much he wants it, gently yet passionately. He places his hand on the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss and puts a little more tongue to taste you more.
You taste of wine and sunshine, of sweet, heavenly things. Your kiss is intoxicating yet he can't get enough of it.
"Not bad," you coyly comment once you pull away from the kiss.
Hyunjin thinks he likes you the best when you're both shy and confident at the same time.
-
HYUNJIN: I was really attracted to her immediately. She's hot, she's wonderful, I just couldn't help it [smiles]
-
God! Hyunjin is truly something.
You've been taking gulps of wine to help you calm down, but instead, you get a little tipsy from the accumulated amount of alcohol you've consumed so far. Or it could be from Hyunjin and his dizzying kisses. Oh, the kiss!
Hyunjin is devastatingly beautiful, you feel uglier the longer you see him but at the same time, you can't stop looking at his face. He has those crinkles in his eyes, long dark hair and he has that lean body, but underneath that dreamy look, there's a guy who knows how to get you all hot and bothered.
You hand the bottle of wine to him and then rest your hand on his chest, how his shirt is flapping open from the wind.
"I remember the girls were talking about you guys, we were joking around and then Edie said she wants to hook up with you," you randomly share with him.
He smiles with his mouth full of wine, he swallows it down before talking, "And you're jealous?"
You lightly chuckle and start playing with the button on his shirt, "I mean, we're all free to do whatever we want and if it doesn't happen for us… It's fine with me."
There's a crease formed between his eyebrows, he seems to disagree with your latter remark, "It's happening, no way it won't," he confidently says.
You kind of expected he would say that because that's just a typical answer that you probably heard so many times only that they were in different forms.
"That's sweet," you tell him, "but that's something a player would say."
Hyunjin lets out a low laugh, feeling caught by what you said. He then grips the neck of the bottle and the rings he's wearing clinking against it as he hands it back to you. You feel a little nervous as he intently watches you take a long sip of wine.
"Stop staring at me," you say with a gentle push on his chest, feeling flustered from how he stares at you non-stop.
Yet it only makes him keep doing it, he stares deeper into your eyes and coyly says, "How could I not?"
You slump down in the hammock and use his arm as a pillow, "I'm not used to this. Sending signals is my thing."
Teasing, flirting, seducing... these are your areas of expertise and now, you're the one on the opposite end of these things which makes it feel a little strange. Or it could be Hyunjin being too good at it.
Curious if Hyunjin is still staring at you, you turn your head to the side to only get greeted by his yet another intense stare. You crack a smile because it's the only way you know how to react to it.
"I can't take that smile," he says with adoration fills his eyes.
Without having to touch your cheeks, you know that they're heating from his sweet compliments.
"I like your smile," he compliments again.
"Thank you," you simply respond to him.
He leans in close enough that you can smell his alcohol-tinted breath as he says, "And I really like your kiss."
Hyunjin is truly something. There's nothing more sexier than a guy who knows what he wants and goes for it. The sexiest part of it is he makes you feel wanted.
"What about—"
Without letting you finish your sentence, he crashes his lips against yours. This time, his kiss is more intense than the previous one, it's deeper and hungrier, he doesn't stop his hands from wandering around your body and leaves searing touches on your skin like he's trying to light your body on fire.
Good thing that you don't mind getting burned alive by his desire.
-
YOU: The kiss was kind of romantic but at the same time, I was on fire [chuckles]
-
How this show works is still unclear.
However, the staff have been letting everyone have fun as much as we want and tonight, they're throwing a party in the villa. Even with the lack of context on the show, this is indeed a paradise.
The theme for the party is nautical and you pick a costume out of the selections provided by the staff. You settle on a blue and white striped cropped top and a white mini skirt, and you add a small sailor hat on the top of your head for the accessory.
The beach has been decorated according to the nautical theme but what gets everyone hyped is the round of shots served on the table. Everyone gets their hands on it and Edouard leads the toast to finally allow everyone to take it in one go. You quickly chase it down with a glass of juice to eliminate the bitter aftertaste, trying to stay sober for the rest of the night.
One round of shots is enough to make everyone loosen up and dance to the fast-paced music playing in the villa, Vic makes you dance with her and you're struggling to keep up with her energetic moves.
"Guys, guys, there's a party going on here!" Edie says, pointing at Diego who's having a body shot on Frida's chest.
Everyone is howling at them and not long after, following suit by doing the same thing to each other, you find yourself just standing there witnessing them having a wild time.
Hyunjin eventually comes up to you with glasses of shots in his hands, "Love shot?"
The plan is to stay sober but one more tequila shot shouldn't be a problem, right?
"Sure," you take one from his hand before linking your arms together for a love shot.
In this proximity, you can see the faint mole under Hyunjin's left eye and it's such an endearing thing to know. When you feel his eyes on you though, you get that flutter in your stomach.
"Together in three, two, one..."
You tilt your head as you drain the alcohol in one gulp and you feel it burns down your throat as you swallow it, you can't help but wince again at the bitter aftertaste.
Hyunjin lowly laughs seeing you with your nose scrunched up, he takes the empty shot glass from you and puts them away.
"I know how to make it sweet," he says, cupping your face in his hands before leaning in to kiss you.
His kiss is more intoxicating than the alcohol you consumed and screws the plan! You want to get drunk on his kisses even though you have to be on your tiptoe and cling to his shoulders for support. He keeps you steady by holding you close, wrapping his arms around your waist, and at times, hoisting you against him to deepen the kiss.
For a second, you forget that anyone can see this and only notice it when you pull away from the kisses to find everyone hooting at you.
The party comes to a halt when the music stops playing and the voice returns.
"Hello, Conquerors. I hope you're enjoying the party."
Andy with his cheeks blushed and bleary eyes, loudly whistling to show how much he enjoyed the party.
"In a few minutes, you'll have a special guest, a special international star," the voice announces.
That gets everyone intrigued and they start throwing random famous names around, hoping that one of their guesses is true.
"Enjoy the party!" The voice finishes.
The lights dim and the spotlight appears, beaming on the gate, raising everyone's anticipation about who the special guest is. You don't have any expectations but with everything you experienced so far in this villa, you reckon it's something special indeed.
The gate slowly opens only to reveal a cone sitting atop a barrel which you instantly recognize who she is and the actual show you're in.
"Oh, God, no," you mutter to yourself in denial.
"Look at— It's Lana!" Edie hysterically says, making it obvious to everyone.
"Yeah. It's her. It's Lana for real," Vic confirms.
As if that wasn't enough to make it real, the cone chimes and lights up, making her presence known to everyone.
"Fuck it. Let's kiss one last time," Edie says
She impulsively goes around kissing everyone, including you and everyone else doesn't want to miss the last chance at it and do the same. You must admire her boldness for that but you get a little jealous when she kisses Hyunjin, especially after knowing you can't kiss him whenever you want.
-
YOU: I know it's all too good to be true [sighs] This paradise has turned into hell.
-
When Hyunjin sees Lana, his mind goes blank.
First, it's a cone. Secondly, he doesn't know it has a name and it's Lana. And thirdly, Lana is going to ban everyone from doing sexual stuff which goes against his plan.
How did he end up here? Wait, no, he doesn't regret being here but he regrets not knowing what he put himself in which is a sexless retreat. Imagine being an alcoholic and you came looking like a bottle of fine wine, then he got told that he's not allowed to drink it. He can't be the only one seeing how messed up this is.
"As you know, I'm Lana, the hostess of this retreat. I'm back and fully updated for this season," the cone introduces herself with a different robot voice.
A few are clapping in response but the rest are still in shock at the turn of events, except Andy, who is too drunk to even process this much information.
"According to my data, all of you are real players who wouldn't be allowed in any paradise."
"Wow, she's sassy!" Vic comments.
"She's Lana, she can be sassy as much as she wants," Frida says, crossing her arms in front of her in defeat.
"Therefore, my goal is to offer a good environment for your personal development."
Hyunjin looks around to see not even a single face is looking happy about this, especially Edouard, he's been quiet and Hyunjin believes he is in a state of shock right now.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
"Okay, now we're talking," Pablo says.
That gets everyone cheering up a little but that doesn't mean they're not dreading the terms and conditions that come with it.
"And the prize will be decreased every time one of my rules is broken."
There goes the catch. Nothing ever comes off easy, especially with that much money. Maybe it's easy for some people to choose money over sex but for a bunch of horny people like them, it's doubtful.
"Tell us the rules then," Pablo says, being the only one enthusiastic about all this.
"No physical interaction aiming at sexual pleasure is allowed," Lana informs.
"Well, shit!" You and Vic mutter at the same time, then burst into laughter together.
"Does cuddling count?" Diego asks but his question remains unanswered as Lana continues with the list of rules everyone needs to adhere to.
"The following are forbidden: kissing, heavy petting, and any kind of sex."
Edouard recovers from shock only to descend into another state of shock after hearing the rules. He holds his head with both arms, completely devastated by it.
"This also applies to any form of sexual gratification, by yourself or together."
"Fuck, no!" Hyunjin reflexively reacts.
He thinks this one rule goes against his rights, his body belongs to him therefore he should be free to do whatever he wants with it.
"And since you didn't respect my arrival, $20,000 has been deducted from the prize fund," Lana comes with the most shocking announcement of all.
"Oh, fuck!" Pablo curses out loud.
"No, come on!" Vic complains.
Everyone suddenly regrets having that one last kiss and losing that much money when the retreat has barely begun yet.
'The prize fund now stands at $180,000."
"Oh, no man," Diego sighs.
Edie, the one who initiated that open bar of kisses innocently says, "Just let it go, guys."
"Welcome to Too Hot To Handle," Lana concludes, marking the party is over for everyone.
-
HYUNJIN: [Laughs] I have to laugh so I don't cry [sadly chuckles]
-
Once Lana has shown herself and revealed what the show actually is, the parts of the villa that were off-limits are now accessible. You get to see the dressing room and the girls are taking their time in here, wiping their make-up clean while enjoying what is possibly the coziest part of the villa.
"I think we all should chill tonight," Frida suddenly says as she ties a scarf around her curly hair.
The girls are giving her the side eyes, questioning the meaning behind her words.
"We already spent twenty grand so..." Frida reminds everyone.
"Yeah..." Vic half-heartedly responds.
Frida has a good intention but you're not sure if everyone is going to obey her words just because it's the right thing to do.
You're not going to deny the fact that you had those kinds of impulses and most of the time, you went with them without thinking so trying to not do that habit will be a struggle for you.
Thankfully, you're sharing the bed with Vic tonight and you think that's a safe option for now, you don't want to jump on the bed with any of the boys yet.
As you make your way to the bed at the end of the room, Pablo stretches his hand out at you, gesturing you to come to his bed. You thought he wanted to chat but he makes space on the bed for you, asking you to climb into the bed.
Noticing the puzzled look on your face, he asks, "Aren't you sleeping with me?"
As far as you remember, Vic is the only one who asked you to be her bed partner and you didn't mention anything about it to anyone else, especially Pablo.
"I'm sleeping with Vic," you answer him.
The warm expression on his face turns icy in a second, he pulls the duvet to his chest and clutches at it, "So this is how it's going to be," he says like a fussy child.
"It's only the first day," you simply explain which should be enough to let him know that the bed arrangement is not permanent.
But Pablo's mood is way too off for you to salvage, "Are you staying away from me?" He wildly accuses you.
You immediately shake your head, "No."
"I want to sleep with you but you're making me sleep alone," he grumbles.
"There will be other days," you tell him.
"Are you sure about that?" He says with an unkind stare.
You don't see why he has to be this upset about the bed situation while everyone else can sort it out without having to throw a tantrum like this.
Still, you choose to keep your calm and respond with a light chuckle.
Pablo shifts on the bed and clutches his duvet up to his neck, "Goodnight," he says with an angry tone.
"Are you mad?" You meekly ask.
"No," he replies then ends the conversation with yet another angry goodnight.
You didn't notice that Frida is witnessing all of this on the next bed and you feel embarrassed even though you're not the one acting childish.
Not wanting to make him more angry, you get to your bed and Vic is already there, sitting cross-legged and wearing a cropped top and boy shorts as her sleeping attire.
You sit on the end of the bed facing away from Pablo's bed, "I think we found the worst one," you tell her with a repulsed expression.
Vic laughs and is open to listening to your rant about what just happened between you and Pablo, and how childish the whole situation is.
Then she uses her eyes to gesture at Pablo's bed, "Diego and Frida have to deal with his bad mood now," she lowly mutters.
You take a few seconds before glancing over your shoulder to see Pablo talking about it to Diego and Frida on the bed next to him.
When you look back at Vic, you both let out a laugh at the same time.
-
YOU: Here I thought I was intense but jeez... [chuckles] Pablo is too intense.
-
The cone chimes and startles everyone in the room who's barely awake from their sleep yet.
"Good morning, everyone," Lana greets.
"Morning, Lana girl," Edie replies with a hoarse voice.
"How was your night?" Lana asks.
Everyone is answering with groans and grumbles, there are just too many complaints coming all at once.
"This is a reminder that this show is no longer Conquerors of Paradise and the only thing left for you to conquer is your sexual urges."
Another series of groans is coming from everyone and echoing in the room in response to Lana's announcement. It's obviously not the kind of thing everyone wants to get in the morning: a reality check.
"We lost 20k you guys," Pablo says, squeezing the cushion on his lap.
"He keeps reminding us," Edouard says with a light chuckle.
"It was epic. Everyone enjoyed it," Andy comes in defense even though he looks groggy with his bleary eyes and his blond hair stuck to his face.
"Yes, but we lost 20k for doing that," Pablo says again.
Hyunjin lets out a chuckle at how Pablo doing exactly what Edouard said, reminding everyone about the money, and after a while, he's aware of what he just did.
"We started on the worst possible way," he makes an argument.
"No, dude. It's the best!" Diego disagrees with him.
Pablo shrugs and brushes his wavy hair to the back, "I mean, financially."
Edie points at Pablo and says, "Look everyone, we got ourselves a bookkeeper."
That amuses everyone, well, except Pablo who strongly shakes his head in disagreement.
"I won't be that person," he remarks.
Edie lets out a sarcastic laugh and says, "Yeah but there's always a bookkeeper."
Whether there'll be a bookkeeper or not, it seems like it won't stop anyone from breaking the rules, including him. But Hyunjin only has one person in mind to do that with and sadly, he's not sharing the bed with you yet. He gets it that maybe you want to keep your options open for now and you don't want to be haste on a decision.
He feels relieved though that you're not sleeping with another guy which means that he still has a chance to have you as a bed partner and he's ready to make that happen.
-
HYUNJIN: When I feel like it's something I really want, I'm going to go for it [smirks]
-
A session of yoga with Frida and two glasses of juice helped you to sober up completely, you feel less like shit after a shower and even better once you dressed up for the day.
You decide to spend the afternoon sunbathing by the pool and on the way there, you spot Pablo already occupying one of the loungers.
It reminds you of what happened last night and how it feels unpleasant whenever you recall it, you hate that things went awry between you and him so you decide to try to talk about it with him.
"Hey, mind if I sit here?" You ask, taking a seat on the next lounger.
Pablo squints his eyes to look at you and stays reclining on the lounger, "Nah."
You want to approach things kindly to not get misunderstood again so you carefully pick your words before letting them out.
"Okay, so... I think last night we had a miscommunication and after that talk, I don't like how it created tension between us," you begin by assessing the issue head-on.
He wipes the sheen of sweat on his forehead and turns his head at you, "Yeah."
"I want you to know that I didn't get on the bed with you not because I didn't want to," you calmly explain to get your message across, "I just don't remember having that conversation about the—"
"I wanted to talk to you about it but I don't like pulling you away from the others, it's annoying," he cuts you off and gets defensive.
This is what you don't like about him, he's not even letting you finish your explanation first and you doubt he even listened to you at all.
"You know what, you're free to do whatever you want, we can finish talking—"
It's your turn to cut him off and get defensive, "That's not it. You don't listen. You don't let me speak."
"Everyone gets to know me a little but you, you're always distant," he starts an argument yet again.
"We both know that everyone has their own way of getting to know someone," You're losing a bit of your cool as you said it.
"I can talk to everyone but I can't talk to you," he remarks.
That sounds like Pablo has made up his mind, he doesn't want to either listen or talk, he wants to stop interacting with you altogether and it sounds final.
"For me, I think we just have to stop talking about it," you try to salvage what can be saved from it even though you're not really that confident about it.
"It's over," he finalized it on his own.
It's such a shame that he closes himself immediately without giving himself a chance to be open, even to keep things on good terms between you and him.
"Okay, then," you say in defeat, choosing to leave because your presence seems to bother him.
-
YOU: Despite everything, I wished to remain friends with him but it seems like that won't work either.
-
With Pablo constantly avoiding you, you don't have to worry about bumping into him or starting a conversation with him and the fact that he's the one who broke it off only makes you feel less guilty about it and somehow liberated. You're hanging out in the firepit with Vic and Edie, just chatting and drinking wine in between, enjoying the warm night.
In the middle of Edie delivering a funny anecdote, Hyunjin comes into view and she abruptly stops talking. There's something about him that makes people couldn't help but look at him and he's taking everyone's attention with how impeccable he looks tonight.
Hyunjin is wearing this printed shirt that would look tacky on some people but he pulls it off just fine, more than fine to be exact. He looks dashing, overflowing with charisma.
"Hey," he says to everyone but his eyes landed on you in the end.
You would have mistaken him for a statue if he weren't talking, you hurriedly get ahold of yourself and say hi back to him.
"Can I borrow her for a minute?" He asks either Vic or Edie.
Vic puts her arm around you and pulls you closer, "No, you can't," she jokingly says to him.
Hyunjin sheepishly smiles and offers his hand at you once you break free from Vic's hold, taking his hand to help you get up from the sofa.
"See you guys later," you say to Vic and Edie as he leads you in the direction of the beach.
The beach offers a different view with the pale moonlight that shines down on the sea and the surface of the water reflecting the starry night sky at you. He takes you to sit on the bench next to him and you take a moment to get rid of the sand caught in your shoes, doing it quietly to not ruin the moment.
"You look amazing," Hyunjin compliments with a sheepish smile.
"You too. I like the shirt," you compliment back and it's not a hard thing to do when he looks that good.
A gust of wind blows your way and it makes your hair fly around so does Hyunjin's, he can easily brush it to the back and it won't make a big difference while you can only hope that you don't look like you just rolled out of the bed.
He catches the stray hair floating around your face and safely tucks it behind your ear, his hand lingers there for a moment before he lightly touches your necklace.
"I like this," he murmurs.
You hold your breath even though his finger touches the pendant on your necklace and makes no contact with your skin whatsoever.
"Thank you," you mutter.
It's so quiet except for the constant sounds of the waves lapping the seashore and it seems like Hyunjin takes his time to talk and just be alone with you. After a moment passes you and him exchanging cryptic gazes at each other, and he finally begins talking.
"Can I be honest with you?"
"Yes," you reply, curious about what he wants to share with you.
"I don't know how to say this but you're just my type," he pauses to lick his lips, making them wetter and tempting you to do something about it.
"You have everything that I like about a girl. You're super attractive, and you're a bit shy but at the same time, you exude confidence which I eat that up."
Like it isn't obvious enough, Hyunjin boldly remarks, "Dare I say that you're my dream girl."
You remind yourself to keep your cool even though this beautiful man just told you that you're his ideal type of girl and it takes everything in you not to let out a hysterical scream.
"Do you have anyone you fancy here?"
You thought it was obvious to him but of course, he needs to hear it from you directly, "Well, I want to get to know you."
"But do you fancy anyone else?" He asks again.
You see that Hyunjin is here to make sure your head is not turning anywhere else, you want to keep your options open but for now, he's number one on your list. Still, you don't know what he's playing at so you stay cautious about it.
"You're my number one right now," you openly share with him.
A smile blooms on his face and Hyunjin nods in approval, his hand secretly inching closer to yours.
"What do you think about sharing a bed with me?" He asks with eyes that are filled with such intensity.
"Sharing a bed? With you?" You ask him back instead of answering, just so there's nothing lost in translation.
"Yes," he hastily answers.
You pretend to consider it for a while before nodding and coyly saying, "Okay."
He looks at you and the moment your eyes meet, you both crack a laugh at the same time like two teenagers in love.
"That leads me to another question," he continues.
You tilt your head to the side and hold all of your hair on one shoulder, "Yes?"
 "The rules are set, but that doesn't mean we have to follow them," he says to you
You always know that he's not giving a single fuck about the rules or having any intentions to follow them, and that scares you but in an exhilarating way.
"What would it take to get you to break the rules?" He asks with devilish glints filling his eyes.
That sounds more like a threat rather than a question but you don't feel threatened at all, you feel thrilled instead.
"Let's make it happen," he seductively says with inviting eyes and his teeth faintly biting his lower lip.
His words really are enchantments and you feel like submitting to his wishes without thinking, however, your conscience leads you the other way.
"I want to make it happen," you honestly tell him and because it's true, there's nothing you want more than kiss those luscious lips he occasionally lick and bite, and quench the thirst you have for this man.
"But we can't be the first," you continue.
There's no denying that at one point, you and Hyunjin will break the rules but you refuse to be the first to do that. The amount of shit anyone will get for being the first to rule break makes you shudder.
"We'll see," Hyunjin says with a nod.
He suddenly backs away and his hand flies to his lips, index, and middle fingers rubbing them as he's looking at you with observing eyes.
A thought crosses your head and it makes you think if Hyunjin suddenly loses interest after you indirectly rejected him and you start to overthink it until he leans in closer than before.
He tilts his head downward and looks at you through his lashes, then softly he says, "You're going to rule break with me."
-
YOU: This just feels like "Ooh..." I get a little chill from it. I need more.
-
This is the time to be afraid.
You're sharing the bed with Hyunjin tonight and those impulses will likely appear, and you're a hundred percent sure going to struggle to not go with it.
A smile rises on Hyunjin's face when you come and climb onto the bed. He throws the extra cushions onto the floor and pats your pillow before letting you rest on it.
"Thank you," you mutter, lying on the bed next to him.
Initially, you planned not to jump on the bed with a guy yet but something tells you that you may have something more with Hyunjin and you want to cultivate that further. He endearingly puts away the hair covering the side of your face so he can nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck.
"Mmh... you smell really nice," he sighs with eyes closed.
It's not much about the praise but the way he said it, softly yet seductively. And the warm breath that fans your neck isn't helping you to think of something to say back to him.
Somehow, you end up lying facing him on the bed and his face is merely inches away from yours. While the others are having a chat in the room, you both just look at each other and hold hands under the cover.
"I'm already dying to kiss you," he lowly mutters, not letting anyone else hear it.
You smile at that and are still unable to think of something to say when he's constantly having your eyes locked in a gaze with him.
"How am I going to kiss you?" He asks in a whispery voice.
He brings his head closer to you until his forehead meets yours, "I can't do it. I'm fucked," he whispers.
It seems like what he said to you triggered an impulse out of you and he best believes that you want to kiss him so badly too. However, you decide to have a little control over your impulses.
"We can do it like this," you suggest an idea by kissing two of your fingers then transfer the kiss by placing them on his plush lips.
Hyunjin chuckles and grabs your hand, he laces his fingers with yours before pushing it close to his chest.
"That's not enough," he says with an adorable pout.
You slowly lean in and place a sweet kiss on his cheek, letting go with a smile on your face.
"If you can go a little to the left and a bit further down, I'd really appreciate it," he playfully says.
You giggle at his creative effort to make you kiss him and as the lights switch off, Hyunjin overlaps your body with yours, then carefully, rests his head on your chest.
You put your hand in his dark locks and feel them slipping between your fingers as you brush them with your fingers.
"Your hair is so soft," you murmur.
"My lips are soft too," he murmurs back to you.
You lowly chuckle at his another effort to make you kiss him and instead of giving him that, you give him a gentle pat on the head.
"Goodnight," you murmur.
Hyunjin places a kiss on your neck and murmurs back, "Goodnight."
Even with your eyes closed, you're constantly battling your impulses not to kiss him or think of his body being on top of you.
-
YOU: I’m used to be the one getting the attention but all the girls here are stunning and finally, someone interested in me and it’s Hyunjin. [smiles]
-
Hyunjin feels the need to pinch himself on the cheek to know that it's not a dream.
He wakes up next to you and seeing your face the moment he opens his eyes this morning, you look so peaceful as you soundly sleep next to him that he doesn't dare to wake you up.
It's when the lights are on, that he sees your eyes fluttering open like a pair of butterfly wings, a mesmerizing thing to see in the morning.
"Morning," he softly says to you.
You sleepily smile as you rub the sleep of your eyes and slowly hoist yourself up to have a sip of water from your tumbler.
Everyone else is also waking up from their slumber, looking disoriented and sleepy, but not you, you look so angelic with a bare face and tousled hair.
"You look really good in the morning," he compliments you.
You grin with your mouth full of water, then mutter your gratitude once you swallow it. You probably think that the compliments he's giving you are just sweet nothings and that's okay, he understands if you think that way but that won't stop him from doing it.
"Morning, my man!" Hyunjin says as he makes eye contact with Andy who sleeps on the next bed.
He foolishly grins at him with his messy blond hair, "How was your sleep?"
Hyunjin uncaps his water tumbler while looking at him, "I had a boner all fucking night last night."
He wishes he was joking but it's true, he didn't have any problems when he shared the bed with Marie on the previous night and he thinks it happens because he's physically attracted to you. If only you knew how much he refrained from not kissing your lips or touching you all over when your body lying so close to him and molding against his body.
"What do you usually do in the morning?" You curiously ask while tying your hair into a messy bun.
How can he concentrate on answering your question when it's mesmerizing to see how you gather all of your hair at the top of your head, exposing your beautiful neck to him?
"Swimming," he finally replies.
Spotting a strand of hair escaping your bun, he tucks it for you behind your ear.
"What about you?" He asks back.
"Uhm... watching you swim," You answer with a cheeky laugh.
"I'd go skinny dipping then," he jokingly says.
"I'd love that even more," you joke back.
You're just too cute, he feels like squeezing you like you were a plush toy but instead of that, he nuzzles his head into your neck trying to tickle you.
Hyunjin does what he planned, he goes swimming on the beach instead of working out with the other guys and has breakfast after. He changes into a sleeveless top and swimming trunks, he is about to find you when he gets the notice that everyone gets called to the cabana.
Seeing that you're already wedged between Vic and Frida, Hyunjin has no other choice but to share the small sofa with Edouard on the side of the room.
Lana chimes shortly after everyone settled on their seats, "Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Lana," everyone replies at the same time in various tones.
"I regret to inform you that the rules of my retreat have already been broken," Lana announces.
Hyunjin doesn't know why everyone acts surprised when every single person in there has contributed to the first rule break that costs $20,000 at the beginning of the retreat.
A minute passes in silence as everyone tries to guess who has done these rule breaks.
"Okay? Who is it?" Marie asks around with her eyes scanning for any guilty faces.
Unbeknownst to him, the guy sitting next to him raises his hand. His first thought is who Edouard got it with? He can't know for sure with these people but he hopes it's not with you.
"We had a moment and we took it," Edouard says.
"Who's we?" You ask him with a knowing glance shot at Vic.
Okay, now he knows who Edouard got it with and playfully elbows his side to tease him.
"Vic and I," Edouard calmly answers, "It was nice, it's exactly what I wanted it to be and I'm open to seeing where things go with her."
Instead of complaining, everyone is cooing at him and admiring how earnestly he handles it. Hyunjin must admit that he's being a true gentleman for coming clean immediately.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana informs.
And that isn't the worst one yet as Lana continues to reveal more rule breakers, "They were not the only ones to break the rule."
"Oh, stop it!" Marie says with the thickest British accent he ever heard coming out of her mouth.
For pure entertainment, Hyunjin tries to guess who else has broken the rules and he notices that Andy is exceptionally quiet right now when everyone knows he's the most talkative one.
"You've been hella quiet, Andy," he teases him.
In a second, the calm on Andy's face shatters, and he starts grinning out of panic for being caught hiding something.
"With Edie, yeah," he finally admits.
"There we go," Pablo mutters then lets out a heavy sigh.
It seems like Edie has been holding her breath the whole time when the truth finally out, her shoulders slumped as anxiety exits her body.
"I'm sorry, I did want to tell you guys, sorry," She says to everyone.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana further informs.
Hyunjin thought he was the only one struggling to resist temptations but these rule-breakers have proven that he's not that bad after all.
-
HYUNJIN: Damn! I'm missing all the fun here [chuckles]
-
You keep teasing Vic for secretly having a kiss with Edouard and not telling you about it, she keeps giggling as you ask for details from her in whispers.
You can tolerate Vic and Edouard's rulebreak because you know how much Vic fancies him and it's great that Edouard fancies her back. Meanwhile, Andy and Edie's rule break, there's Edie in the equation so it's bound to happen but that'll be it, right? Because people would have said something by now if they did something.
Right?
"That is not all," Lana shockingly reveals.
Oh, you and your mouth. Honestly, though, what can you expect from these people who spent 20k when the retreat had hardly begun?
"There was one more breach of the rules," Lana informs.
You look from side to side, observing the people you're sharing the sofa with and then you see Frida fidgeting next to you.
"Shit," she lowly mutters to herself.
Diego and Frida are just too horny for each other so that's a given, but you're going to give them the chance to own up to their mistake.
"Just come clean and we'll keep our trust in you," Marie says to make anyone confess to their rulebreak.
Frida lets out an annoyed sigh then turns at Diego, "We should tell them!"
It annoys you too that Diego chooses to stay silent the whole time only to prolong the process not only for himself but also for everyone here.
Vic gently taps Frida's knee and asks, "Just a kiss?"
Frida sighs again and then meekly answers, "Two kisses."
But it annoys you still that Diego hasn't said anything but keeps his mouth shut while Frida is taking all the blame herself.
"Diego, say something!" You urge him.
Diego puts on a stupid grin and innocently says, "Surprise!"
Now, you wish he would keep his mouth shut, you roll your eyes at him and get more upset than before.
"These multiple kisses have cost the group $6,000."
One, or two kisses are acceptable but once everyone finds out how much a kiss costs, they're not sure if those kisses were worth it.
"That was expensive," you grumble out of reflex.
"What's done is done, guys," Diego coyly says, taking these rule breaks lightly like it didn't get everyone penalized for it.
"The prize fund now stands at $168,000," Lana comes up with the final bill at the end.
At this rate, you're not optimistic about having any money left at the end of the retreat.
"With 50% of you having already broken the rules, you have left me with no choice. From this point forward, all fines will be doubled," Lana comes with another shocking announcement like it isn't hard enough to accept today's financial loss.
"That's just great," Pablo sarcastically comments.
"Goodbye," Lana concludes with a grim goodbye.
-
YOU: It was hard to resist temptations, as I did with Hyunjin but what's the point if people are going to act like this?
-
Is it possible to get a boner from holding hands? Hyunjin thinks it's possible because he's close to having one as the two of you walk to the beach hand-in-hand, and you're swinging it back and forth as you go.
"I'm a bit nervous," you mutter to him.
"Why?"
"I don't know," you innocently reply with a giggle.
It's just a workshop and you shouldn't be nervous but he doesn't mind seeing you being this cute when you're nervous. Arrived at the beach, everyone gets greeted by a lady who he assumes is going to be one leading the workshop.
"Welcome to your first workshop in the retreat," she says to everyone.
The staff tells everyone to pair up and take places on the platforms provided for everyone. Obviously, Hyunjin is paired up with you because he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Hello, I'm Jax and I'm a relationship expert," she introduces herself with a courteous smile.
Everyone gives her a round of applause to warmly welcome her.
"It is obvious that everybody here has a lot of sexual energy and that is preventing you from achieving meaningful connections so what I'm going to teach in this workshop is new ways to channel that energy," she explains what's the aim of today's workshop.
Hyunjin notices the bowls of paint on the side of the platform and guesses that the workshop has something to do with them.
"So the goal right now, instead of doing what you might usually do and look for that physical release, you are going to grab the paint and transfer all of that sexual power and make a piece of art like you've never made before," Jax further explains.
"You'll notice that you're standing on blank canvases and your bodies are the brushes. Are you ready?"
"Yes!" Everyone replies in unison.
Jax senses everyone's excitement and smiles, "Alright. Let's do it!"
Hyunjin brings the bowls of paint over to the middle of the big canvas you both standing on and sitting there, can't decide what to do first.
"What color do you want?" He asks you.
"Uhm... pink?" You randomly choose out of the three different colors.
He picks it up and before he dips his fingers in them, an idea crosses his mind, "Lay down for me," he tells you.
You obey him without complaint but first, you have your hair tied into a high bun to not letting the paint all over it. You carefully lay yourself down and immediately shield your eyes from the bright sun with your hand, "What are you going to do?"
Before answering, Hyunjin sits next to you with a bowl of paint in one hand, "I'm going to do this," he says, rubbing the paint on the tip of your nose.
You scrunch your nose in reaction and playfully laugh, it seems that it works to help you loosen up.
"I'm going to draw the outline of your body," he finally tells you his plan.
"Okay," you say in approval.
Using his big hands, Hyunjin diligently works his drawing of the outline of your body on the canvas, intentionally nudging some parts of your body while doing it but what he anticipates the most is drawing the space between your legs.
"Can you pass me the blue, beautiful?" He sweetly asks since the paint is only an arm's length away from you.
You glance to the side and drag the bowl with your fingers until it's close enough for him to reach.
He scoops the blue paint with his hand and slowly draws the outline of your legs, he maintains eye contact with you as his hand climbs up the side of your legs. He can see that you're slightly arching your back as the back of his hand brushes the skin of your inner thigh and you raise your knee as his hand is inches away from that thing between your legs.
Then he abruptly stops and quickly retracts his hand from you, instantly depriving you of his touch. He hears your low, disappointed sigh and smiles in satisfaction at that, he decides to hover above you, shielding you from the sun with his body.
"Let's spice things up a little, yeah?" He murmurs with his face only inches away from yours and you're looking at him with wide, open eyes.
Before you can think of a response, Hyunjin lathers the remaining paint on his hand onto your chest. You gasp as the sticky texture of the paint makes contact with your skin then he drags it down to your abdomen.
He has to hold the urge to drag his hand further down and stop as his hand meets the straps of your bikini bottom, tugging at it before dragging his hand up your side.
"I'm not the canvas here," you remind him.
Oh, but your body is a canvas to him and he wants to paint you with his kisses, his touches, his bites, his marks, and his—
Splat! You unknowingly splash yellow paint onto his abs and laugh from successfully catching him off guard. He immediately catches your hand and puts it on his stomach, making you smear the paint with your hand around his toned abs.
"Guys, less on the body, more on the canvas!" Jax shouts, getting everyone back on track with the true purpose of the workshop.
"It's my turn on the top," you say to him with a sly smile on your face.
-
HYUNJIN: This is my chance to keep her focus on me. Also, this is a great excuse to get physical [smirks]
-
"Your partner is here to get your sexual energy up as high as possible before you can apply that energy to the canvas," Jax informs while she walks around to check on everyone's work.
But does everyone need the encouragement though? Because it seems like they know what they're doing, using this workshop as an excuse to get physical with their partners. You start to doubt if this is what Jax wants to see, the painting is nowhere close to being called an artwork but the tension keeps building and everyone is only getting hornier and hornier by the second.
And you're about to have your part of the fun as it's Hyunjin's turn to lie down on the canvas.
"Do we have more paints?" You ask while crawling around to find them.
Hyunjin props his elbows against the canvas, helping you to look for them, "I think it's on..."
As he turns to the side to check if you have found them, your crawl back and your asscheek bumps into his head, sending him collapsing onto the canvas.
You immediately turn around and reflexively apologize, "Oh, I'm sorry."
But Hyunjin looks rather enjoying the little incident as he's laughing with his hand on his chest, "No problem at all."
You gather all the bowls of paint close to you and begin to do the outline of Hyunjin's body with the red paint, you start from the bottom since it's going to take more effort to draw his long legs.
Once you're done with that, you decide to tease him by putting your whole weight to sit right on his crotch, making him groan in response.
"You did that on purpose," he says as he looks up at you.
You slyly smile and coyly respond, "You're pretending like that's a problem."
You continue by outlining his upper half body while straddling him while he gets to enjoy seeing you on top of him.
"What are you drawing now?" He curiously asks.
"I'm drawing a crown on top of your head," you answer while keeping your focus on the task at hand.
While you're busy drawing on the canvas, Hyunjin dips his fingers into a bowl of paint to draw on you. He goes for your neck, making small drawings on it with his index finger.
"Are you giving me a neck tattoo?" You ask as you pick different colors of paint for the drawing.
He then makes another small drawing on your chest and finally answers to your question, "Just marking places where I'm going to kiss you later."
That makes you stop for a second and glares at him as he makes another drawing, a little star on your inner thigh which makes you think of his lips getting on that very skin he draws on and it sends a tingle down your spine.
After spending too much time working on him, you get off him and let him inspect your work. He looks at you and places a hand on your back.
"You're quite the artist, babe," he praises with a smile on his face.
One praise is enough to make your cheeks heat and you tend to say stupid things in a situation like this so you only respond with a smile and immediately think of something to avert your attention to before it gets too hot in here, literally and figuratively.
"I think we should start filling the empty spaces," you suggest.
At first, you both go on your way to draw the empty corners of the canvas until he comes over to you, gets behind you, and puts his hands on yours. He puts all of your hands into two different bowls of paint at once and then draws on the canvas together with him.
It makes your brain short-circuit for a while as you can't decide which to put your focus on, on the drawing or how his body molds against yours.
"Let all your sexual energy out..." Jax continuously encourages everyone and notices she's coming over in your direction.
When you think she's going to call you out for not going through the proper way of the workshop, she likes what she's seeing instead.
"Yes, there we go, that's what I want to see!" Jax says.
With that being said, you feel more encouraged to do it and let Hyunjin draw while using your hands as the brushes. He puts your hands in the bowls of paint again and he lathers more paint up your wrists all the while his head is resting on your shoulder.
"Mmh..." you lowly whine as he slips his fingers into you inside the bowls of paint.
The half smirk appears on his face and he takes you to the other side of the canvas, working on it with the same position of him guiding you from the back.
You can hear his constant heavy breathing with the way his head lies so close to yours, but it's the whispers of the praises into your ear that get you flustered.
"Oh, I like that."
"You're doing a good job."
"Oh, that's nice."
"Keep going."
"You're so good with your hands."
The embarrassing part is how you are unable to properly respond to his sweet praises, all your brain can compute the whole time are these incoherent words and mumbles.
"Yeah."
"Mmh."
"Uh-huh."
And also, the occasional low moans that slipped out of your mouth which you believe he heard every single one of it.
By the time the workshop is finished, you can't decide whether you should feel relieved or disappointed that it's over. You doubt it at first but the whole process works on giving you the release you need that you and Hyunjin collapse onto the canvas, tired and out of breath.
"Give yourself a round of applause 'cause you guys did it!" Jax says, giving everyone a round of applause for the hard work.
At the end of the workshop, Jax makes everyone pick up their canvases to show their works for everyone else to admire. Hyunjin puts his hand on the small of your back as the two of you look at your painting while standing next to each other.
You can see yourself and him, the burst of colors, and it may be not a piece of artwork but it is beautiful to you, special even because you and Hyunjin made it.
"What do you think?" He asks.
You take the hand resting on your back, using it to pull him closer to you, "I think we did a good job!"
He smiles and pulls you into a hug, it feels nice and comfortable despite the paint that tainted both of your bodies. He pulls away just enough to look at you and softly says, "Thank you for making this masterpiece with me."
Physical things aside, he made you feel so involved and appreciated, and that shows a lot about his true personality. In other words, you like him a little bit more today.
-
YOU: I am quite convinced that Hyunjin only has eyes for me and that makes him way more attractive than the rest of the boys here.
-
If there's something Hyunjin can take from this workshop is that the sexual tension between you and him is out of this world. There's no other reason for it because all he can think about is how your body felt against him and how beautiful the noises you made when that happened.
Good thing he still has some self-control in him or else... he doesn't even want to think of the other possibilities. But tonight, he wants to try and explore the other possibilities and see if you're up for it.
He patiently waits for you, checking the dressing room once in a while to see if you're done getting ready. He sees an opportunity as you check yourself in the mirror and with a drink ready in his hand, he comes up to you.
"Get you a drink," he says.
You turn to the side and smile, taking the glass of wine from his hand, "Thank you."
You take a small sip while fixing your hair in front of the mirror and Hyunjin takes a stand next to you to get his reflection in the mirror.
"We're kind of matching," you point out.
He doesn't even notice the colors of your clothes because his eyes are busy lusting over your body, only noticing that the tight pants you're wearing match the colors of his shirts.
"Oh, yes, we are," he says, grinning as he likes what he's seeing in the mirror.
Then he remembers his plan for tonight, he places his hand on your back and asks, "Are you done?"
"Uh-huh," you say as your mouth is full of wine.
"Can you come with me?"
"Sure."
The bedroom is empty just like he checked a moment ago and he takes you there because getting you alone is the first thing to do to execute his plan.
He goes to your shared bed, getting on it while you sit on the end of the bed, quietly sipping your wine while he gets to look at you as much as he wants.
He likes your frilly white top as it exposes your beautiful shoulders but what he likes the most is how you don't wear a bra underneath, he can see your nipples subtly poking through the fabric.
"You look good in everything you wear," he sweetly compliments because it's the second thing to do on his plan.
You smile as you take another sip of your wine, half-heartedly taking his compliment and he gets it that you get used to guys complimenting you like this.
"You can pull anything off," he compliments again.
You lick your lower lips after taking a sip and ask, "How about nothing?"
His brain can easily picture you naked in a second and he gets so overwhelmed by it that he lets out an overwhelmed sigh, not hesitate to let you hear it.
"Oof..." he's shaking his head and props his hand against the mattress to lean close to you.
"You absolutely can pull that off too," he adds with a sly smile.
-
HYUNJIN: No one is going to stop me tonight [smirks]
-
How Hyunjin ends up lying between your legs is a mystery but it makes you a little nervous at how his head hanging low so close to where you want him.
He rests his cheek against your inner thigh and fiercely gazing into your eyes, "My god! You make me want to misbehave," he says with a sultry voice.
The glass of wine you have drained is not enough to calm you, it makes you feel a little lightheaded instead, especially seeing Hyunjin run his hand up and down your thigh.
He leans in and you can feel his breath on your exposed midriff, it feels hot on your skin. You feel the need to put on a space so you prop your elbow against the bed only to send his head close to your chest.
"Oh, my God," he mutters with a heavy sigh as his eyes shot at your breasts.
You only put yourself more in the situation but seeing Hyunjin up close like this, oh, he's just so beautiful that you hesitate to touch him. You put away the hair falling over his face and put it away, then gently cup his jaw in your hand.
He looks up at you with his eyes that shine for you, "You're fucking irresistible," he says with his voice dropping lower than before.
There's nothing arouses you more than a guy who openly shares how much he wants you and it stresses you so much that you can't do anything about it.
Without warning, he crawls over and forces you to lie back on the bed as he hovers above you, his hand lifting your leg and hooking it around his waist.
It's getting harder to breathe with how much you're holding yourself back, you suddenly get so hot all over and you look away like it would help you regain your senses.
"I'm so horny," you shamelessly admit.
You hear him lowly laughing then feel his hand grabbing your chin, turning your head at him again. He leans in for a kiss but you're quick to dodge away from it.
"Stop..." you mewl, covering his mouth with your hand.
Hyunjin knows you both want it and that doesn't stop him from going for another try. He keeps touching your exposed skin, lightly with just his fingertips and it's only about time until you fold again.
He places a soft peck on your cheek and mutters, "We can put Lana in the cupboard for a few minutes."
You take a long, deep breath but it's not helping you to calm down, if anything, it only heightens the tension in the room.
"We don't have to think about the rules now. We can think about it tomorrow," he persuades you.
His words are just so sweet and you can easily eat those up.
"We can think about it when it's time," he murmurs as he squeezes the flesh on your waist.
And he just keeps getting sexier and sexier by the second, you can't hold on for too long.
The next thing you know, you grab the nape of his neck and pull him for a kiss. You can tell how much he wants it from how hard and how deep he kisses you, apart from that, he knows how to use his tongue and to bite your lip in between the kiss to spice things up.
Your eyes stay closed even after a moment the kiss ends and find his eyes looking at you, but the first thing you notice is how your lipstick got all over his mouth.
"Oh, no..." you gasp, hurriedly wiping it off his lips.
It's best to wipe the evidence clean to keep this rule break under wraps and not risk becoming everyone's enemy.
"How about my face?" You ask him.
His eyes are looking nowhere but your lips, "You got a little something..." he says, swiping his thumb across your lips only to plant his lips on you again.
Hyunjin is good, he is so good that you don't have anything in you to resist him anymore.
"Oh..." A moan slips out of you as he parts your mouth open only to deepen the kiss.
Fuck it! You can worry about the money tomorrow but now, you're going to enjoy every bit of his kiss, letting yourself so immersed in it that you lost track of time and when he finally let go, you're gasping for air.
"That was really good," you breathlessly tell him.
"That's because you're a good kisser," he coyly says as he gently wipes your lips with his thumb.
"So are you," you whisper back.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway sent Hyunjin collapsing to the side of the bed and gasping in surprise.
"Fuck..." he sighs while running his hand through his hair.
You hurriedly get away from him and sit cross-legged on the bed, finding something to do to make it less suspicious. You end up holding your empty glass with both hands while looking in the direction of the door, anticipating whoever it is about to come into the room.
When the door opens, you put on a calm face and keep yourself busy by playing with your hair, brushing the end with your fingers.
It turns out to be Edie and Andy, they seem to be surprised to see you there too.
"Hey," Edie says, "What are you guys up to?"
Hyunjin is squeezing the cushion on his chest, "We're just chatting," he calmly answers.
It's impressive how Hyunjin can lie in such ease like that but at the same, you feel a bit alarmed by it.
Andy dives headfirst into the bed while Edie sits on the sofa bench in the middle of the room, crossing her legs by the ankle.
"Awesome," Edie responds.
"Pablo is going around telling everyone to not break the rules tonight," Andy says, his blonde hair is swept to the side and makes him look dapper.
"Yeah?" You ask while trying to sound casual.
You wish you still had some wine left in your glass to drink but it's empty and you slightly feel nervous, afraid that either Edie or Andy will get suspicious of you.
Hyunjin drops his hand on your knee, his thumb making lazy circles on it as a way to comfort you.
Edie smacks her lips together after taking a sip of her drink, "Yes and that's why we came here," she answers.
Andy rolls over and rests his back against the headboard of the bed, "How are you guys doing?" He suddenly asks.
Hyunjin lets out a low chuckle and turns his head at you, making you answer this one for both of you.
"So far so good," you manage to sound casual this time.
"Don't worry! We got this under control," Hyunjin adds with a convincing smile.
All of a sudden, Edie throws herself onto your bed and squeezes herself between you and Hyunjin. She glances at you and then at Hyunjin, your heart is beating so fast thinking that she caught on to your lies until she whispers.
"Guys, I have some gossip to tell you!"
You and Hyunjin exchange a quick look with each other knowing that none of them suspect anything and with that, you can let out a sigh of relief.
-
YOU: Well, [sighs] Hyunjin is just too irresistible, I— I just couldn't help it.
-
Hyunjin has broken the rules twice now and the fact that neither Edie nor Andy suspects anything only makes him think of how easy it is to break the rules.
Now he knows how sweet that forbidden fruit is, he feels like having another bite.
While everyone else is already tucked into the beds, Hyunjin goes to the dressing room knowing that you're there. He finds you standing by your closet and taking out your clothes. Even with your face already bare and your hair tied into a messy bun, you look just as attractive.
Planning to surprise you, Hyunjin quietly gets behind you and hoists you against his body, taking you with him to the small space wedged between the two huge closets.
"What are you doing?" You ask half giggling.
He turns you around and pushes you to the wall, pining you with his body.
"I'm about to kiss you," he says, leaning in for a kiss.
You look the other way, mewling in disapproval and a while later, look at him to say, "We can't break more rules."
Hyunjin takes your hands and puts them around his shoulders as he closes the gap between your bodies, impossibly close he can feel your chest heaving against him.
"Hyunjin..." you mewl again as he leans in again but he lets his lips land on your neck, trying to tease you another way.
The way you grip the nape of his neck and lowly whimper as he nibbles on your ear, Hyunjin can tell that it's working so he slowly drags his lips up the column of your neck.
To make sure you're not avoiding his kiss again, he gently holds your chin and plants his lips on yours. He takes his time, kissing you slowly yet deeply while feeling your body against him.
A moment later, you break the kiss with a gasp and then bury your head in his neck.
"Everyone is going to be so mad at us," you mumble.
Hyunjin doesn't even think about anything else at this moment, all he can think about is you and your body, and how he wants to ruin you in so many ways.
"We can stop," he says but his hand glides up to your chest and his fingers lightly trace your nipple against the fabric, making it hard for you to say no to him.
He intensely stares at you and waits if you're going to say anything to stop him from doing anything but he gets nothing but the same lustful eyes from you.
He pulls the strap of your top down your shoulder, sending your breast spilling out of it and he quickly takes it into his mouth. As he sucks on it, you let out a breathless whimper with your nails dug into his shoulder. Feeling mischievous, he takes more of the flesh and sucks harder, making you yelp in pain.
"Oh, fu—" You can barely finish your word. You hurriedly plant your mouth on his neck to keep yourself quiet.
Hyunjin knows he can't leave a mark so he stops himself from doing it, slowly pulling away while looking up at you with a string of saliva connecting his lips with your nipple.
Not letting the camera catch you half-naked, he immediately fixes your top for you while blocking you with his body.
He presses his mouth to your ear and softly whispers, "You're so fucking sweet."
You look down and shyly giggle in response.
Something about you being shy that makes him want to ruin you more, makes him bolder by the minute that he doesn't hesitate anymore to crash his lips against yours and kisses you harder.
-
HYUNJIN: This kiss is worth every penny and every amount of shit that I'm about to get [grins]
-
If breathing wasn't necessary, you believe Hyunjin wouldn't stop kissing you.
He reluctantly breaks the kiss with a low groan and then buries his head in your neck, putting all of his weight against you.
You steadily hold him and put your hand in his silky locks of hair, scratching at his head with your fingertips. If it weren't for the other people, you would have stayed in there and probably continued the make-out session. However, you're aware that the longer you two are absent from the bedroom, the more suspicious they'll get.
Before he gets to do anything else, you put your hands on his chest and slowly push him away from you.
"It's getting late," you murmur at him.
As he reacts with a pout at you, you place a kiss on his cheek to console him and a quick ruffle on his hair. He slips his arms around you to hug you one more time to finally obey you.
It's a little nerve-wracking to walk back into the bedroom together, you try to act normal and try not to make any eye contact with anyone in the room as you walk to your bed.
You look at Hyunjin and he looks calm as if he didn't just kiss the life out of you back in the dressing room. He throws the decorative pillows onto the floor and pulls the duvet now, climbing onto his side of the bed.
It puts you at ease that no one is suspecting anything or that's what you see as they're busy chatting with their respective bed partners. You can't tell if you should consider it as luck because you slightly fear that Hyunjin is going to get bolder now, especially once the lights are out.
"Goodnight everyone," Edie sweetly says in the dark.
You look over your shoulder to the bed next to yours, "Night, Edie."
She outstretches her hand at you and you grab at it, "Night, sexy babe," she says back at you.
You pull the duvet to cover your legs and when you rest your head, Hyunjin's arm is already there, offering it as your pillow. He pulls you close once you lay down and kisses your neck.
"Mmh... so tired," he hums.
You slip your hand into the gaping hole on his sleeveless top and rest it on his back, "What have you been doing all night, mmh?" You poke fun at him.
He chuckles hearing your question and plants a kiss on your bare shoulder. You cautiously track his hand movement as it's dangerously going down your spine.
"Want to kiss you again," he whispers into your ear.
Your guess turned out to be right so you prepare yourself to anticipate his next move, but there's not much you can do with how tightly he holds you.
The second he leans in, you hurriedly tilt your head down so that his lips land on your eyebrow and you laugh at how he failed to kiss you.
"Oh, what did I kiss?" He asks in pure confusion.
"That's my eyebrow," you answer while still laughing.
He retracts his hand from your back and places it on the nape of your neck to keep your head steady as he leans in again and he goes on a kiss rampant all over your face.
You're quick to cover your lips with your hand but once he realizes you have your hand blocking his lips from kissing yours, he continues to ferociously kiss you.
Hyunjin eventually gives up but keeps you close to him, putting a safe space between your bodies but resting his hand on your waist to not let you get away from him.
Your hand returns to his back again, caressing his warm skin with the back of your hand, and doing it helps you calm down.
Sensing that he's getting drowsy too, you place a sweet kiss on his cheek and say, "Goodnight."
Even in a dark room, you can see him smiling at you as he says it back to you with a gentle squeeze on your waist and it feels nice.
-
YOU: I feel bad that we broke the rules but it was for a good cause.
-
The first thing Hyunjin does when he wakes up is put his arm around you and nuzzle his head in your neck.
"Morning," you mumble to him while putting his hair away from covering his face.
"I had such a good sleep," he murmurs to you.
"Did you?" You say with a sly smile.
After those kisses, you realize that you're not just physically attracted to him, you genuinely like him and it only convinces you to keep building this connection with him.
"Good morning!" Andy shouts into the room and you don't know where he gets that burst of energy this early in the day.
You look at Edie who's slightly disoriented and coo at her, "Morning, Edie baby!"
She pouts and runs her hand through her messy blond hair and twists it in her hand before securing it with a hair claw.
"I heard giggles last night," she says to you.
"From here?"
"Yeah," she answers.
"I feel like you guys broke the rules yesterday," Frida accused you two out of the blue.
 Somehow, you manage to calmly respond to her, "No, we didn't."
Hyunjin lifts his head to look at Frida and backs you up, "We did not."
You bravely look at Frida in the eyes to convince her as you add, "Just cuddling all night."
What you said seems to assure the group for now, but you know that people are starting to get suspicious of the two of you. In defense, you didn't lie, you're just withholding the truth,
-
YOU: I'm not lying, I'm just... withholding the truth [shrugs]
-
To say that you're jealous of Vic and Edouard getting a date tonight from Lana would be an understatement.
However, you're more scared of the reason why you don't get a date with Hyunjin. Lana sees everything and she knows that you break rules, in fact, she's going to expose you for it sooner or later.
You're on your second glass of wine when the call to the cabana comes and frantically searches for Hyunjin since he's the other person who knew about the rule breaks. You reunite with him on the way to the cabana and he probably knows how nervous you are from how cold your hand is as he holds it.
Like it isn't obvious enough, you tell it to him once you're both seated on the sofa, "I'm nervous."
"I know," he calmly says.
You don't know how much money you and Hyunjin spent but you know for sure that everyone is going to hate you for it.
Lana chimes and you feel like your heart just dropped to your stomach.
"In order to incentivize you to follow the rules, yesterday I doubled the fines and organized a workshop to help re-channel your sexual energy in healthy and creative ways."
It's not a good thing when Lana skips the greeting and goes straight into business, you understand why and you feel faint the closer you get to the truth.
"It seems these measures failed on every level."
"What did she say?" Marie asks.
Everyone else stays quiet as they still processing Lana's words and a moment later, the whodunit game begins. The first one to get accused of doing this is the couple who just came back from the date.
"Swear to God, we didn't do anything," Edouard immediately cleared himself and Vic from any accusations.
Andy has a bad poker face and gives himself away for everyone to see, he has no other option but to admit it right away.
"Yeah, we kissed."
"We had some time alone and we kissed, all right?" Edie explains.
"So that justifies it?" Pablo asks with a disapproving look.
"It doesn't justify it," Edie agrees with him.
"We had to go all day without knowing anything," Pablo says.
Seeing everyone's reaction to Edie and Andy's rule break only makes you anxious about what's coming to you.
"This kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana announces the new price for a kiss.
-
YOU: I don't want to deal with everything they're dealing with right now.
-
Hyunjin does a calculation in his head. He can't even remember how many times he kisses you but if a kiss costs $6,000, the sum of what he did last night is going to be so expensive.
"That's expensive," Vic comments.
Everyone is going to know how expensive it will get when they find out how much he spent last night. He sure as hell knows there was more than one kiss.
"However, this was not the only breach of the rules," Lana continues.
Hyunjin gulps air because he knows his time has come. He gives everyone the time to prepare themselves for the truth. He looks to the side and sees you're fidgeting, he knows he can't stall it anymore.
It's time, he grits his teeth and does it, "Okay guys, listen, the first time we kissed—"
"Wait, what? The first– you kissed more than once?" Frida aggressively attacks him for it.
Shit! He shouldn't have said that, but he doesn't expect anyone to notice it either. Things are not going well with everyone going hostile on you and him all at once.
"Did you guys do something else?" Vic asks.
That's not the question Hyunjin needs right now, he gulps air again but it feels like he's trying to dry swallow a big pill.
"Look, it's—"
"Oh, my God!" Frida disappointingly says.
"What is it? What did you do?" Vic asks.
"Just touching, there was fondle... I-I don't know," you stammer while trying to explain.
"Are you serious?" Marie hysterically says.
The more he tries to explain, the worse it gets so he gives up on saying anything but waits for Lana to see where it goes.
"These rule breaks have cost the group an additional $30,000," Lana announces.
Everyone reacts in the same disappointing tone of groans and moans.
"The prize fund now stands at $132,000."
Hyunjin doesn't expect it's going to be that expensive, oh well, now he sees the consequences of his actions and is ready to accept his punishment.
"I'm sorry, guys," you apologize to everyone.
"Me too. I'm sorry," he adds with all sincerity.
"We've lost almost half of the money and it hasn't been a week," Marie scolds.
He sees it now that you're both walking on the fine edge and everyone's trust is on the line. It gets worse as Lana calls both of your names.
"Although you are displaying early signs of a deeper bond, you are spending too much energy concentrating on a physical connection rather than an emotional one."
Lana sounds mad and that's not good, Hyunjin can only hope that she doesn't kick him out this early on the retreat.
"And as you have cost the group the most money, I am setting you an additional test."
Test? When it comes to Lana's test, Hyunjin can only think of one thing and it can't be it, right?
"You will spend the night in the suite."
One thing for sure is he's relieved to not get kicked out of the retreat and for the rest... he's not sure he's going to do well on the test.
"This is your chance to show the group that your connection is more than just physical," Lana says.
Looking at everyone's doubtful look at him, Hyunjin feels the need to say something to them.
"If resisting is going to earn your trust back then I'll do it," he remarks.
Pablo sneers and says, "You lied to us. Your words don't mean until you prove it."
Ouch, that offends him but it gives him just the right motivation to prove them wrong.
"You may now leave," Lana orders.
He gets up first and offers his hand to help you, holding your hand as he exits the cabana to go to the private suite.
-
HYUNJIN: We have to earn everyone's trust back. The problem is, I have no self-control.
-
The private suite is the small guest house located not far from the main villa.
Once you get inside, you can see that the interior isn't that much different either, it's cozy and spacious. What gets your attention is how the staff decorated the room with scented candles lined up on one side of the wall, and rose petals scattered on the bed.
"What do we have here?" Hyunjin says, scanning the room for interesting things.
"Champagne, roses..." he goes to the side of the bed and picks up a furry handcuff.
"Sex toys, condoms, lubricant, oils oh..." he groans as he lists everything he finds on the bedside table.
You walk up to the bed and sit on the end of the bed, chuckling at Hyunjin's expression as he explores the tray full of various sex toys.
"You just want to make trouble, huh Lana? You want to see shit go down," you loudly shout, knowing that Lana is watching everything.
As Hyunjin walks up to you, you hold out your leg at him and rub his shin with your foot.
"Take my shoes for me, please?" You sweetly ask.
"With pleasure," he says, squatting on the floor to do what you ask. He patiently unties the laces of your heeled sandals and takes them off of you.
As he gets up from the floor, he keeps holding your legs by the ankle and lifts them, sending you lying down on the bed. He stands by the edge of the bed and holds your legs close to his chest, he runs his hands up and down the side of your legs while looking down at you.
"Is this how we're going to do it?" You playfully ask.
"Oh, you don't know what's coming for you," he seductively says, parting your legs open then puts himself in between.
There's no denying that Hyunjin is beautiful but it's only now that you have the chance to take a good look at him. You notice his shiny dark hair which he tied into a messy bun, the necklace dangling around his neck, the muscles on his arms and the veins coiling around them, and a pair of big hands with rings adorning his long fingers.
You like his hands more when they're on you but they're now propped against the bed as he hovers above you and you're about to crumble under his lustful gaze.
"The bed is perfect," you try to talk about something else entirely.
"When the lights go out it'd be like this," Hyunjin starts bouncing himself on the bed and sending the bed quaking.
He eventually stops and has you pinned under him again, burying his head in your neck, and attacking you with ferocious little kisses.
You would be lying if you said it does nothing to you, it makes the butterflies fly around in your stomach.
It doesn't take long for his kisses to turn harder, deeper and he begins to move his hand around your body. You badly want to keep him going but you know better you should do the opposite.
"At least pretend like you have some self-control," you mutter to him.
He abruptly stops moving and lightly chuckles, he pulls away to look at you, "Yeah, we're better than that."
He puts himself on top of you again, letting you hold him close and play with his hair. A moment later, he gets up while unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, completely unaware of how attractive he is for doing that.
"I'll get the bath ready," he says.
"Okay."
-
YOU: I don't think I can hold back. I want to be bad, so bad [Smirks]
-
Hyunjin dips his hand into the water to check the temperature, making sure it's not too hot or cold. Getting the temperature just right, he turns the faucet to stop the hot water and walks out of the bathroom.
"The bath is ready," he announces, finding you drinking a glass of white wine on the bed.
You nod and drain your glass, putting the empty glass away to start unbuttoning your blouse.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"Taking my clothes off," you innocently answer, taking your blouse off and setting it aside.
He thought that you would go to the bathroom first to do that, not that he minded it but seeing you taking your clothes off on the bed makes his mind go wild, all sorts of lewd thoughts rushing through his head as you sit on the bed while hugging yourself with both arms to cover your breasts.
"Do you mind helping me with my skirt?" You ask for another while unzipping the skirt.
He didn't realize he'd been staring at you and quickly getting ahold of himself, "Yes, sure."
The skirt is a little tight and tugging around your hips, he has to use his strength to take it off. You lift your hips so he can easily pull it down, revealing the black lacy underwear you're wearing underneath.
The sight of your naked body splayed on the bed makes him salivate and it stresses him out that he's not able to do anything about it. He keeps licking his lips as his throat gets dry the more he thinks about touching you.
You get off the bed and go to the bathroom with both hands crossed in front of your chest, "Come on, the water is getting cold," you remind him.
Hyunjin brings the bottle of champagne and the bowl of strawberries to the bathroom, putting them on the side of the tub. He hands you your glass so he can fill it with the white wine.
"Thank you, baby," you mutter and have a sip of wine.
He puts the bottle down and leans down with his hands gripping the edge of the tub, leaving only a few inches of space between your faces.
"Let me see..." he says, taking a moment to look at you.
He doesn't fill the water high enough to get to your chest and he can see your breasts, wet and moist from the scented water. He so badly wants to cup them and see how they fit perfectly in his hands.
His eyes travel back up and looks at your face, sighing in delight as he finds you smiling at him. He allows himself to lean in and kiss your neck, a kiss on the column of your neck and another one on the skin behind your ear.
"You're so beautiful," he praises you.
You lean forward to softly place a kiss on his inner arm, "Get in, quick, don't make me wait," you tell him.
It's not hard to be confident when he has all of your attention on him, he knows he has to make it a good show for his special audience.
He maintains eye contact with you as he unbuckles his belt, he swiftly unzips his fly and tugs his fingers into both his jeans and boxers, planning to take them all off at once, exposing himself to you.
He catches the wild glints in your eyes and the way you swallow air as your eyes dart to the thing between his legs, knowing that being in this room with you is enough to cause him a semi-hard.
"Oh, man," you say to yourself, finishing your wine in one long sip as if the sight of him makes you thirsty.
That gives him a boost of confidence, he carefully gets into the tub and lowers himself down, letting the water engulf him in warmth and floral scents.
He gropes around underwater for your feet and puts them on his chest, playing with them as he looks at you from the other end of the tub.
"I'm down to whatever you want to do," he says to you.
You hold your hand out at him, "Do we have a deal then?"
He gladly grabs your hand and shakes it, "Deal!"
To seal the deal, you both clink your champagne flutes together for a toast and have a sip.
"I want to sit on your lap," you tell him.
"Do what you want," he says with such ease, ignoring that the proximity is not going to do him good.
You're slowly making your way to him, not wanting to send the water sloshing out of the tub and sit on his lap like you wanted.
The sudden rise in the temperature is not from the bathwater, it's from the tension that keeps building between you and him.
"How am I not dying right now?" He sighs, looking up at you with your hands around his shoulders.
You lean in until your nose meets his in the middle, "Why is that so?"
He's his hands on each side of your waist and resisting to go lower than that, then sighs again, "Because you're so fucking hot."
You crack a laugh and put the hair escaping your messy bun, you notice the bowl of strawberries on the side of the tub, reaching for it.
"I want one," he requests.
You pick one and feed it to him but he tugs it between his teeth, gesturing you to take a bite of it. You slyly smile then lean in, taking a bite of the strawberry and cautiously doing it to not make contact with his lips.
Hyunjin shoves the rest that you can't bite into his mouth and chews on it, he spots the chocolate dips inside the bowl of strawberries.
"Dip it into the chocolate next," he orders.
Even though you're still chewing, you reach for the bowl and pick a strawberry, dipping it into the melted chocolate like he asked.
You immediately bring it into his mouth, not risking the chocolate to drip into the tub and he hurriedly opens his mouth for you.
The bathtub is safe from chocolate but it gets all over his chin, you wipe it with your thumb only to smear it all over his mouth.
"You did it on purpose," he teases you, half laughing.
"Licking is not against the rules, right?" You doubtfully ask yet go for it without waiting for the answer.
Your tongue feels hot and slick on his chin, and somehow, it feels way more sexual than a kiss as you land a long lick across his lips, then use your thumb to clean the rest.
"All good now," you inform.
Spotting your fingers coated with chocolate, he takes them into his mouth and gently sucks on them, making you watch him doing it as he looks at you through his lashes.
"More champagne?" You offer.
"Yes, please," he answers, holding your glass for you and his for you to refill.
He initiates another toast, he takes a quick sip so he can watch you drink your wine. You're tilting your head to have a long sip and accidentally sending it dribbling down your chin, then onto your chest.
"You made a mess, baby," he tells you.
"It's your turn to clean it up for me," you playfully dare him.
Feels challenged, he pulls you closer and leans into your chest, not hesitating to lick it clean for you. He gasps when he pulls away and grins in satisfaction, anything that requires him to make physical contact with you is a win for him.
An idea crosses his head and he follows up to that by spilling his wine onto your chest.
"Oops..." he mischievously says with a sly grin.
You put on a sassy eye roll at him and put your hands on his chest, holding him by the neck then without warning, bringing his head to your chest.
Hyunjin is more than glad to be there, drinking and tasting your skin as you pour more wine down your chest. All this drinking won't quench his thirst for he has an endless thirst for you.
The next thing he knows, he's holding you close until your breasts squashed between your chests, nothing in between, skin to skin. This level of intimacy is new to him yet he feels exceptionally at ease.
He places a hot kiss on your neck and brings his mouth close to your ear, "I want to kiss you," he whispers.
You place your forehead against his and sweetly smile, "Let's save it for later, mmh?" You tell him, then softly kiss his nose.
Now all Hyunjin can think about is when he kisses you, it'll taste of strawberry and champagne.
-
HYUNJIN: I don't know if I trust myself right now [shakes head]
-
The slap on your asscheek startles you as you brush your hair in front of the sink.
"Giddy up! Let's get to bed," Hyunjin says, ogling at your ass and tempted to land another slap.
"Just a second," you tell him, patiently brushing the end of your hair before turning around to face him.
You throw your arms around him and he catches you right away, hoisting you against him to take you to bed. You tightly cling to him and put your legs around his waist.
"Oh!" You loudly moan as he throws you on the bed and puts himself on top of you next.
To not put his whole weight on you, he props his elbow against the bed and looks down at you, he plays with the thin strap of your silk camisole, twirling it around his slender finger.
"For fuck's sake! Can you stop looking so sexy?" He says with a heavy and erratic breath.
You watch his hand go down the front of your body, holding your breath when it gets dangerously close to where you want him.
At the same time, you feel like teasing him because it's fun to see him trying not to fold. You open your legs as his hand reaches your abdomen and he stops moving.
"Don't open your legs!" He demands.
You shut them and open them again the next second, spreading them wide, showing off your thin white underwear that barely covers your private part.
"Oh, fuck!" He curses out loud, struggling to not touch you there.
Before his intrusive thought wins, you take his hand and place it around your waist as you lay on your side, facing him to stare at his beautiful face.
You let your hand run down his bare chest, caressing the skin with your knuckle. You badly want to place kisses all over him so you go for it, going for his neck first then his chest next.
Hyunjin lays back on the bed and lets you continue, tracing the outline of his abs with your hand while your lips are busy placing searing kisses across his chest.
"How am I meant to resist?" He sighs as he takes a fistful of your hair in his hand.
You go for his ear, nibbling at it and taking a gentle bite at it, laughing when you see his reaction.
"Oh, I'm fucked," he groans yet with a grin on his face.
Hyunjin hovers above you again, looking at you with eyes wide and dark with desire, almost like a predator about to eat his prey.
You softly scratch the nape of his neck and then both of his ears which you notice are reddening as you play with them.
"I'm only waiting for you to say the word," he murmurs to you.
The word is on the tip of your tongue, it has been since the moment you step into the room and being alone with him. But there's too much at stake, the money and the trust you need to earn back.
Hyunjin is just good at doing that, distracting you with his plush, luscious lips. The long kiss he's planting blurs your judgments and makes you forget what is right and wrong.
The hand resting on your stomach steadily holds you down as he keeps kissing you all over your neck and chest, making you hot all over.
"Just say the word and I'll do it," he whispers to you.
This is such a dilemma. You want to be good but the bad in you keeps wanting to come out and play, especially with Hyunjin on top of you.
"I think it'll be the most expensive suite of the season," you say.
He detaches his lips from your jaw and says, "I'm more than happy to make that happen."
Caught between two choices, you think hard for a moment, considering all the pros and cons of both choices. But how your judgment is going to be fair when Hyunjin starts to go down on you, planting kisses down the front of your body?
He places a long, heavy kiss on your abdomen just right above the waistband of your underwear, then he lifts his head and asks, "How it's going to be, mmh?"
Gosh! How can you resist this sexy man? Even if you can, do you have the will to? You put your hand in his hair and tug at it.
"Let's give Lana something good to watch," you answer with a smirk.
-
YOU: Sorry, Lana but you put me in this situation.
-
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babydarkstar · 2 years
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my first graders think my speaker is alexa and try to voice activate her almost every day🙄 im like girl it only plays music it doesnt connect to the internet and alexa needs an outlet (one redeeming trait of the design)
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victorluvsalice · 2 years
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Last Song, Movie, Book Tag Game
Tagged again by @dont-offend-the-bees -- sorry this one took me so long, Newt! ^^;
Last Song: As of the time I’m writing this, it was a collection of various Sims music on YouTube (”Relaxing The Sims Music” by Striped Sounds, to be precise). I’ve also recently really gotten into listening to “chillwave” and “synthwave” mixes -- I’m not sure why, but I like the sound!
Last Movie: ...it occurs to me I don’t actually recall the last time I watched a proper movie. I mostly watch people playing video games on YouTube these days. @.@ For the purposes of this question, though, I’m going to say “Brine and Punishment,” which is the episode of OXBox and OXtra’s “Oxventure” that I’m going to be watching this week while I’m working out (I’m writing this early for queueing purposes, in case it wasn’t blindingly obvious at this point). I may not play DnD myself, but I’ve really enjoyed this series. :D
Last Book/Currently Reading: Last actual published book was a reread of part of “The Ordinary Princess” -- it’s a book about a princess who is given the fairy gift of being Ordinary at her christening, and how she finds happiness despite not looking or acting anything like a “traditional” princess. Dunno how well it’s aged, but I still enjoy it. :)
And I’m tagging @nebbychan and @anonymoose-au again! No pressure, guys, especially given how long it took me to respond to this one.
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merakiui · 18 days
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angels in tibet.
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yandere!azul ashengrotto x (female) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, nsfw, obsession, abo/omegaverse (alpha azul & omega reader), knotting, brief implications of breeding, mirror sex, sugar daddy, age gap (azul is 50 and reader is 24) note - while experiencing a nasty bout of low self-esteem, you fear azul has lost interest in you. on the contrary, he can't get enough.
I’m not sure about this…
You fidget in front of the horizontal mirror, tugging at the sheer material of your violet babydoll. It’s a beautiful piece, matched with a pair of dainty, crotchless panties, but there’s something about it that doesn’t fit right. Will this make you more irresistible? Were you irresistible to begin with? Maybe you’re worrying over nothing. Azul is a very handsome alpha, looking as affluent as he sounds and smells. It’s natural he would receive all kinds of compliments. Having attended dozens of dinner dates with him throughout the year, you’ve grown accustomed to the occasional interruption—an omega overwhelmed with his presence or an alpha hoping to gain another wealthy connection.
Compared to the exquisite company he keeps, you feel worthless—a speck of nothing versus a brilliant something.
A gentle knock at the door shakes you from your self-conscious spiraling. You pat yourself down to give your anxious hands a mindless task.
“J-Just a moment!”
“Is everything all right?”
You glance at yourself in the mirror once more. “Yes, I’m fine! I’ll be out in a second.”
“There’s no rush. Take your time.”
Steeling your nerves, you swallow razored insecurities and reach for the knob.
Stop thinking about it. Lots of omegas approach him all the time. It’s the same for alphas and betas. Sometimes they approach me, too. You crack the door open and nervously step out into the bedroom. But he looked so happy when that one omega was talking to him…
Azul’s cerulean hues snap up to view you from where he lounges on the end of bed loveseat. His stare trails up the length of your legs, assessing every inch of you as if you’re a rare gemstone and he’s a skillful lapidary. You cover the distance to reach him, suddenly shy.
He runs his hands up your arms once you’re within reach. “I was right to assume that set would look stunning on you.”
“You’re always right,” you say with a superficial giggle, admiring his dusky eyeshadow behind the lenses of his glasses. You swipe his hair aside and lean down to press a kiss to his forehead. “It’s nice. Thank you for the gift.”
Azul hums his acknowledgment. His hands crawl along your sides, grabbing at your hips. You allow yourself to be pulled down to his height, his thigh between your legs. Your bare pussy brushes against beige trousers, and it sends a pleasant shiver up your spine. His fingers dance across skin, searing in the same way his lips are when they ghost over the juncture between shoulder and neck. He licks and nips at the area for a moment before withdrawing slightly, his tongue free of the bitter, medicinal taste of suppressant gel.
“No blockers?”
“It’s fine. I’m with you, and my heat isn’t scheduled for another week.”
“What makes you think I won’t give into libertine impulse?”
At the sly implication that he’d mark you as his, you feel a fresh bout of slick pool between your legs, leaking out onto his thigh and wetting fine fabric. Azul notices this and chuckles.
“Y-You wouldn’t,” you manage through your embarrassment, shifting awkwardly.
“Is that right?”
“You probably want a better omega o-or a strong alpha. Someone like yourself.”
Azul, who had contented himself at your neck, pulls back to look at you. His hands settle upon your waist to hold you still—to prevent you from wriggling away.
“What makes you say that?”
“Nothing… I just assumed—well, you’re…you. I’m me.”
He frowns, easily reading between the lines. “Do you find yourself undesirable?”
“You’re popular. Rich. Good-looking… You could have anyone you want.”
“Variety means nothing if it doesn’t include my favorites.”
“I’m your favorite?”
“Such disbelief… Is it really so surreal?”
“But I’m nowhere near your level.”
“Who said you had to be?” Azul takes your hand and brings it to his lips. He kisses the top of it. “You’re perfect as you are, mio tesoro.”
You spend a long minute watching him. He can’t really mean that. Azul isn’t your boyfriend or your alpha. He’s the parody of one—a sugar daddy who spoils you with luxurious trips and hefty allowances, and in return you offer your time, companionship, and body. Tonight is no different. Just another dinner as per the arrangement. Another night spent in a high-rise hotel. Another transaction.
“You don’t mean that,” you say, ice crystallizing each word. “You’re just saying that.”
“I have no reason to lie.” He glances past you at the tall floor mirror, an idea sparking in lust-lidded eyes. “I’ll prove it.”
His intentions are lost on you, even more so when he moves you off of his leg and onto the cushions below. You sit with your back against the bed, a concoction of curiosity and caution bubbling within you. You can smell him, crisp like a new car, the musky, unforgettable scent of salt and sage. Before you can ask, he lowers to his knees and parts your legs to get a look at your dripping pussy.
“So eager…” he muses, his breath fanning across your folds. You bite back a whine. “And it’s all for me.”
“All yours. Always yours.”
Another wave of alpha arousal blankets the room, thick like smoke. You realize he’s done away with his scent blockers for tonight. Could that explain your territorial jealousy and dampened mood? Is it because it’s bothersome to think that another omega expressed so much desire towards Azul—that they were treated to his enticing smell even though it’s a luxury often reserved for you? Is it really his money you’re after or something grander?
You want to think it’s the former.
It must be, right? There’s no way it could be the latter. You’re just caught between fantasy and reality, bordering a beautiful illusion garnished with the impossible. 
Azul’s fingers dig into the soft pudge of your inner thighs, spreading them further despite your weak attempt to shut them. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly.
“Don’t hide from me, principessa. It’s nothing I haven’t seen already.”
“Still…” You flinch when he presses the pads of his fingers against your slit.
“What’s the matter?” He lifts his hand for you to see. Your slick clings to his digits in dewy strands. “You’re so wet for me, and yet you seem…distracted.”
“It’s nothing. I’m thinking.”
“About?” When you refuse to answer, he leans in to lick a languid stripe up your cunt. You slacken against the bed, a gasp rattling through your lungs. Azul makes a dramatic show of licking his lips clean. “I can’t help if you don’t tell me, bambolina.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, worrying your lip between your teeth, as you debate your next admission. Rather than say it outright, you tiptoe around it with a shaky mumbling: “D-Do you usually call other omegas by pretty names?”
“Just you.”
“Just me?”
“Have I not been unfalteringly faithful to you all this time?”
“You have. I’m just wondering…”
Azul waits for you to finish that sentence. When it becomes obvious you’ve lost it, he fills in the blanks. “I thought of you all throughout tonight’s dinner. So much it nearly spoiled my appetite.”
Unconvinced, you crack your eyes open to glimpse him. His head is between your legs, lips centimeters from your cunt, and it leaves you wilting once more. He looks good on his knees in his fancy suit. You wish he was yours.
What a dangerous wish.
Azul meets your stare. He removes his glasses and hands them off to you. 
“Be a dear and hold these for me.”
“Looks like a new pair.”
“I thought I’d try circular frames again. What do you think? Fitting, no?”
“Very fitting. Like an old man.”
Azul’s grip on your thighs tightens ever so slightly. His voice comes out sharp and strained when he speaks next. “Is that so? I assure you I’m still plenty youthful.”
“You age like wine, Mr. Ashengrotto. The finest kind.”
“And your beauty is timeless.”
“You say it so easily, but do you mean it?”
“Most ardently.”
Your argument is stifled when he leans in to taste you again. This time, rather than retreat, he remains between your legs. His lips are warm and soft against your pussy, his tongue all too tempting as it trails over the area. A startled gasp slips past parted lips when he pushes in, and it isn’t long until you’re deflating against the bed. 
Your doubtful thoughts are temporarily silenced, numbed with slow, slothful salacity. You grab fistfuls of his hair, tugging it tousled, and he groans in response to your harsh treatment.
“Ooh… Mmh, fuck…” You blink up at the ceiling, breathless.
Too good.
You push him closer to your crotch, to which he rewards you with a sloppy slurp of your slick. The obscenity of it all has you hot and aching, and you submit bonelessly to the bliss he provides as if you’re simply drifting down a calm river. Azul laps at your folds like a man parched. He hums his appreciative delight, each vibration shaking you to your core, and the sensations only serve to triple your pleasure when one of his hands slides over to find your clit. He tweaks it between two fingers just to listen to you come undone.
It takes everything in you not to crush him between your thighs. Although with how hungrily he fucks you with his tongue, you think he might enjoy the suffocation. He sets a sweet pace, one that has you grinding down against his mouth in a desperate attempt to reach your climax. You open your mouth to beg for more, but all that tumbles free are shaky gasps and low groans.
As if sensing your unspoken need, Azul draws his tongue out. A thin strand of saliva strings from your pussy and his lips, connecting both for a fraction. Just when you think he might’ve finished, he swaps his tongue for two fingers. They stretch you open while he nurses on your clit. Slowly, like he has all the time in the world in this opulent hotel room, he curls his slim digits inside you. They press against your walls, searching for the spongy spot that will have you seeing galaxies. Once more, you’re reduced to a foggy-headed mess.
In this room, where nothing else matters, it’s just you and him. There is no outside world. No other alphas, omegas, or betas who might distract him. No other factors that might convince him to toss you aside, to grow tired of you, to abandon you…
Azul takes full advantage of your woozy state, pumping his fingers in and out. Paired with the way he lavishes your clit with attention, it sends you spiraling into a sudden orgasm. You grip his hair forcefully, pin him in place, and gush on his face with a strangled moan. He stays between your legs to lick you through it, running his tongue across your folds to gather as much of your slick as possible. And then he’s pulling away to offer you a boyish grin, seeming quite proud of himself. It adds deceptive youth to his weathered features.
Blinking pleasured tears away, you gaze at him until his figure gradually gains clarity. His face is wet, glistening with your essence, and it fills you with newfound heat.
“That was quicker than I expected,” he says, his voice a playful purr. “Were you anticipating this? Or perhaps my technique is simply unmatched. You’ve always been so sensitive for—”
You move without forethought, grabbing at the jewel-encrusted lapels of his fashionable jacket to yank him up to your height. His blue eyes are blown wide, his mouth parted in the middle of a mute question, when you smash your mouth against his. It’s short and sloppy. You taste yourself on his tongue.
“So impatient…”
Recovering from the momentary startle with newfound cupidity, Azul surges forward for a real kiss. You breathe him in and come away with a noseful of pheromones. It spins your mind dizzy, banishes rationality to dark, desolate corners, and renders you addicted. You allow him to lick into your mouth to taste expensive wine in every crevice. You’re avaricious in your approach when you pull him closer, desiring to feel his weight against yours. He falls on top of you, his hands placed on either side of your head to keep himself propped, and you peer up at him through glazed eyes. It brings you smug satisfaction when you reach between your bodies to feel his erection straining against his pants.
Breathing hot and heavy, you scrabble to grab hold of his shoulders. “Kiss me again.”
“Aren’t you forward? If I didn’t know any better, I’d hazard a guess that you’re jealous.”
“I—” you clamp your mouth shut, debating your words, before opening it again— “I am. I want you all to myself. I want you to look at me and only me during our dinners. I hate when other omegas talk to you… It’s not fair. Why do you have to be so amazing?”
Your confession catches him off guard, for he blinks at you owlishly. The surprise doesn’t remain for long, though, because he quickly composes himself. A gentle smile graces his face next.
“It’s mere courtesy. I assure you I’ve thought of you the entire evening.”
“Just me?”
“Only you. At every hour of the day. Even when we’re apart.” His hand slides down to interlace with yours, and he leans closer to kiss both of your cheeks, one at a time. “I think of nothing else. Si il mio universo.”
“R-Really? So that… That omega who spoke to you—”
“They were kind, but I have no interest.”
You frown, suddenly perturbed. “But you could’ve if you wanted to. We’re not together in that way. There’s nothing stopping you.”
He raises a brow. “Is that what you want?” Your face falls further into dismay and he chuckles. “I don’t mind. You’re allowed to be greedy around me. I’m all yours tonight.”
But I want you forever.
Azul helps you up from the bed and leads you over to the mirror. You stare at yourself—at the you adorned in fleeting finery—and grimace. Is this really you? Is this who you want to be, an unclaimed omega stuck in a stagnant situationship?
“Tell me what you see,” he whispers, running his hands along your sides.
“Myself.”
“Anything else?”
“She’s a fool who’s jealous for no reason. For a dumb reason, actually.”
“‘Dumb’?” He scoffs. “No such thing.”
“But it is! It’s because—” I want to be yours. “I’m just being immature. I’m sorry. It’s ruining the mood.”
“Not at all.” Azul grasps your chin and turns your head towards the mirror. “When I look at you, I see in color. You make my world so indescribably vivid. Very few can accomplish such an impressive feat. You should be proud.”
“Why?”
“You’re a smart girl. I’d have thought you would’ve realized it by now.”
You track his hand like it’s a spider you’re hellbent on catching. Carefully, with keen intent. He speaks in honey-coated hauteur, as if anyone could’ve deciphered the meaning in his declarations, and it would’ve irked you if not for your distracting thoughts. 
He’s never told me any of this before. Is he saying it to placate me? Or does he actually mean it?
The answer is right there. You just don’t want to believe it.
Rather, you can’t. It’s impossible. 
“For the record, I disagree with all of this negative self-talk. You’re not dumb or immature. Not in my eyes.” His arms close around you from behind, and he laces his hands together at your front. “You are a goddess cut from the rarest cloth. A beauty brighter than light itself, mia stellina. Sometimes I wonder if I should lock you in a little cage. That way you’d shine for me. Just me.”
Laughter squeezes through your teeth. “You’re being more dramatic than I am tonight.”
“You think so? I’m only telling you what I see and how I see it.” Azul takes your hand and guides you back towards the loveseat. He lowers onto it and then tugs you onto his lap. Just like before, he directs your attention ahead. “Why should I covet others when you’re right here?”
“That’s just convenient. It’s because we’re using each other.”
“How cold… And I have been nothing but authentic in my adoration.”
“Yeah, right. We both know—” You squeak when he shifts you only slightly so that he can unbuckle his leather belt. It slides away from his waist, soon discarded on the bed. “Sure, it’s authentic, but that’s because it has to be. B-Because it’s part of our deal.”
“Is that what you think? Your oblivious nature is most endearing.” He hums, half-listening. You roll your eyes at that, to which Azul tuts. “We’ll have none of that. Here. Since you’re so keen to argue, why not help me out of my jacket as you mull over your next retort?”
Unamused, you turn to face him. He looks awfully pleased with himself as he stretches his arms out. Not wanting to keep him waiting any longer, you undo the single button and gently peel the coat away from his person. It’s so silky, crafted from a material you’ve never known before, and you take care folding it for later. Azul watches you with a smile.
“I’m not arguing.”
“Is that not what we’re doing right now?”
“I’m just saying…” You huff, your cheeks puffed out in annoyance. “Ugh. You’re being so obtuse.”
“Why don’t you turn around and say that to your reflection instead? She needs to hear it more than I do.”
Begrudgingly, you comply with the first instruction. You lift yourself off of him just enough so that he can pull himself from his clothes. As for that second part, you treat it like a suggestion and keep your lips clamped stubbornly shut. Azul rumbles with laughter, affectionately pinching your cheek. You think he may have picked the habit up from his family. He’s spoken about them scarcely, but from what you’ve learned both his mother and grandmother have always had a knack for physical fondness. It’s cute that this gesture seems to run in his blood.
“Eyes open and ahead, mia bella ragazza. You deserve to witness just how charming you are as you come undone around my cock.”
Nodding mutely, your arousal heady, you line yourself up until the head of his cock is kissing your pussy. One hand holds your waist to steady you while the other presses against your clit. You whine, legs trembling in anticipation, and lower yourself slowly.
“A-Azul—”
“Don’t look anywhere else. Ahead, tesoro,” he reminds you, kissing along your jaw. He reaches to procure his glasses from the bed, fitting them on his face one-handed.
Your body responds to those pleasant pet names without a shred of shame. Even though this isn’t your first time with him, you can’t stop your breath from hitching or your heart from skipping. For the sake of an easily ingested excuse, you deign to blame it on your upcoming heat. Why else would you be this desperate to feel him inside, as close as he can possibly get pressed up against you like this? Azul’s hand slides over your thigh to rub at your clit, and your walls flutter around every inch you’ve managed to take thus far.
You remember you’re meant to be watching yourself in the mirror then, so you gaze at your reflection. Azul’s voice is deep and gravelly in your ear, thrumming like thunder, when he murmurs his praise: “Good girl. Just like that.”
As if to further humiliate you, a testament to just how carnally you crave him, you clench tighter around him and whine pitifully. He chuckles and rewards you with a soothing smooch to your cheek. You heave a satisfied sigh once he’s slotted inside.
“Why do you want me to watch myself?” you ask, fighting through the haze while he busies himself with your clit. “Mmh…” 
At this rate, you fear you might just somersault into your heat. Which, now that you’re considering it, wouldn’t be such a bad thing… Maybe he’ll give you a claiming bite, mark you as his omega, and then it’ll be a real relationship. Maybe the heat is the push he needs.
Don’t think about that sort of nonsense. He would never…
“I want you to take in every part of yourself,” he explains matter-of-factly, “and know that I will never trade you for anything.”
“But other omegas—” The words are choked off in a yelp when he thrusts up inside you. 
“Are not you,” he finishes, a minacious edge in his tone. “What must I do to prove to you that I’m telling the truth?”
“You could—ah. Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m being unreasonable.” You shake your head. “Just… Just promise me. Please promise you won’t get rid of me.”
“Why, I would never! The mere assumption that I would stings… I feel as if I’ve just been slapped.”
“I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just… I… I know you’re allowed to see other people—and I am, too, of course—but I like being the only omega you spoil. I like feeling special.”
“And you are.” He squeezes your clit to draw another reedy moan from you. His other hand crawls up your side to slip under your sheer babydoll. He cradles your breast, kneading it gently. “You’re my special girl. That will never change.”
“O-Okay… I believe you.” Your lashes flutter when his fingers brush against your nipple. “You… Ooh… You can cum inside tonight. It’s safe. I think…”
A shadow passes over his face. As if your words have stoked some sort of possessive fire in him, he slips his hand out from under your lingerie to grab at your hip. All of his previous smooth, sultry edges harden into something rough. Fingernails dig into your flesh, leaving little half-moons in the forceful wake of his grip. Your tongue trips over itself at the sudden shift, but the treatment isn’t terrible.
“You know very well I’d take good care of you if that happened,” he mumbles, kissing the space just below your ear.
“If what happened?” you ask, playing stupidly innocent even though the image reflected back at you makes his implication more than obvious.
“Why don’t you start moving first? Then you’ll see exactly what I mean.”
You shudder, drunk off his pheromones, so potent they cloud your brain like smog, and shift in his lap. He groans lowly at the friction and it encourages you to move with confidence. You lower yourself, lift yourself halfway off, and then lower again. This is executed for three more jerky rotations before you slam yourself down in one go. Azul sucks in a breath. You don’t quite catch what he says. It’s a jumble of words in his native tongue. With the harshness dripping from every syllable, you think he’s saying some colorful words, each one brought on by the tight hold your pussy has on his cock.
“Perfect,” he manages next. You continue to bounce with reckless abandon. “You’re so—oh—so perfect. Ho bisogno di te… B-Bisogno—ah, no, need.”
You watch yourself, your ravenous gaze flicking from your pussy stretched around his cock to his hands glued to your hips to his head bowed near your neck. His canines are so close. Any closer and he could tear into you, bite you hard and deep enough to make you his.
“W-What was that phrase you taught me? The one about—haa—love… Not love, but sorta love.”
“Mmh… Which one? There are many, principessa… You’ll have to be more specific. Ti amo is ‘I love you,’ but that’s—nngh—not the one you’re looking for, is it?”
“The not-quite-love one… Um—oh! Adore… Adoro…”
“Aah, ti adoro.” He pronounces it in a pleased hum before breaking off with another groan. He drags your hips down to meet his when he bucks up into your gummy pussy. “If you’re saying it platonically, you would use ti voglio bene. Ti adoro is more intimate.”
“It sounds pretty when you say it.”
“Of course it does,” he brags, his ego satiated. “Why don’t you try pronouncing it?”
“Which one?”
“Whichever.” Azul kisses your scent glands and you mewl, your thoughts soupy and incoherent. “With such a tempting smell, I’m baffled you’re not yet mated. Ah, but you’re still young.”
“Hmm… Yeah, I just haven’t found the right person.” You place your hands over his. “W-What about you? Why haven’t you—”
He tuts. “Now, now. Before we get into that, I’d like to hear you say it. Ti…”
“Adoro. Ti adoro!”
“That’s right. Ben fatto, mia cara. You say it so sweetly.”
“I do?”
“Mhm.” He noses at your neck and sighs. “Sweet and musical.”
Relishing in the compliment, you tilt your head to reveal more of your throat. You roll your hips slowly, taking him in patient strokes. “I still think it sounds better coming from you.”
“Perhaps I should say it more often.”
“Please. Oh, please do. I wanna hear it always—every day!”
His teeth scrape your skin then. You brace yourself for a bite that never comes. Rather than allow your unmet expectations to dishearten you, you focus your attention ahead.
“I’ll send you a voice message when we’re apart.” His hands travel up your body, beneath lacy lingerie, and finally close around your tits. You watch him in the mirror, following his movements as he shamelessly fondles and gropes. “And when we’re together like this I’ll say it over and over. As many times as you’d like.”
Now it’s clear. He’s placed you on his own pedestal, admiring you like one might a sculpture. You aren’t the omega from dinner. You aren’t those alphas who hunger for his status. You’re unlike any of his other connections. You’re a personal treat he indulges in, a prized portrait he’s free to touch at his own discretion, and you allow it because he’s unofficially yours behind closed doors.
Part of you knew this all along. You just couldn’t see through your self-doubt.
“Thank you. I love—” You catch yourself, stumble over a gasp, and thank the stars for that. “I love your voice.”
Azul’s aged features soften with a smile. “And I love yours all the same. Why don’t you touch yourself so that I can hear more of it?”
You do just that, obediently circling your clit with two fingers. Amidst your own sounds, Azul’s groans, and the loud smack of skin on skin, it’s enough to bring you even closer to the edge. You’re almost there, nearly teetering over into the abyss, but then you stop.
“Wait… I want—wanna look at you.”
“You are. The mirror—”
“Not enough.”
Wordlessly, you peel his hands away and lift yourself off of him. Azul stares at you, awaiting your next move. Before you can regret your spontaneity, you hold onto his shoulders and position yourself to straddle him on the loveseat. 
“I read about this and wanted to try it,” you admit as you sink down. Your relieved sigh joins Azul’s in unison. “I like looking at you. The real you. Not just your reflection.”
“You never cease to amaze me.”
“It’s good, isn’t it?”
“Very.”
With this proximity, you’re free to gaze into his powdery blues, trace every wrinkle beneath your fingers, adore him so intimately. Azul presses his forehead to yours, meeting your sultry stare. He wraps his arms around your waist, his palms settling against your lower back. No words are exchanged, but the intention is clear. You rock your body like the rolling tide, effortless and hypnotic, and he matches your lazy pace with grace. Now you’re breathing together—soft huffs between moans—and it’s a lustful duet that pairs well with the salacious squelch of your bodies.
Even though this moment will inevitably end, you never want to leave. You want to stay wrapped up with him, pressed close and breathing him in like he’s perfume. You want to bathe in his scent until it mixes with yours and marks you as something special. Something irrefutable. A bond that can never be broken.
“I wanna go on a trip,” you mumble absentmindedly, your mouth inches from his.
He steals a quick peck. “Do elaborate.”
“Not just any trip. A honeymoon—like a pretend honeymoon! I know it’s a lot to ask—”
“Nothing is ever too much. If I may, why a honeymoon in particular?”
“I just wanna know what it feels like.” You melt against him, your arms sliding away from his shoulders to loop around his neck. “Without having to go through the marriage part. That involves actually finding someone and falling in love and…yeah.”
“I understand. We can plan something.” Twin sapphires flick from your lips to your eyes and then back. “Shall I make you Signora Ashengrotto for the duration of our faux honeymoon?”
Your hips almost stutter to a halt, and you blink back at him in surprise. “Signora… Wouldn’t it be signorina?”
“If you were unmarried, yes. It applies because you’re young.” He flashes his teeth at you in a proud grin. “But in this scenario you’re all mine, Mrs. Ashengrotto. Thus, you’re signora.”
“Mmh… I like that. The sound of it…”
You sigh dreamily and close what little distance is left. Softly like swaying seagrass, it’s a meeting of mutual moods—of lust embellished with love. The two of you kiss like you’re starved, like you’re each other’s only source of oxygen, like this is your last night together. You’re in the clouds; euphoria is at your fingertips. Every drag of his cock coaxes you closer and closer to your climax, your body alight with a fiery urge. You don’t want to break this sinful spell and face a reality in which he isn’t yours. It’s too cruel.
So it’s a shame when he pulls you down without warning and, rather than bite your neck, sinks his pointed canines into your shoulder instead. You would’ve been content to let him claim you, but that idea is soon knocked from your skull when you feel warm, thick cum flood your walls. You snuff the urge to beg for more, dangerously avaricious. You’re sure that’s just a product of your encroaching heat. The normal, level-headed you wouldn’t dare beg him for a baby. 
But a baby would give him a reason to keep you around, wouldn’t it?
I shouldn’t. He probably doesn’t want a family at his age… It would be wrong to force it.
Azul pulls away only slightly to speak. His attempt is muffled when you kiss him again. You lick your blood from his lower lip. It’s strong and metallic, staining the corner of his mouth a deep vermillion. He pursues, nibbling at your lip in return. And then, just as you roll your hips once more, you feel it—his knot swelling against your ass, fat and thick. All for you.
“I’m going to—”
“Yes! Oh, please—yes.” You shift in his lap, grinding down with a desperate sort of determination. “Please knot me. I want it. I’ve always wanted it.”
“Always?”
Your head bobs in a hasty nod. It was more of a private fantasy—a mental indulgence you delighted in during dreams. And now it’s happening. You’re so happy you could cry. Azul, upon seeing the light in your eyes, bucks up towards you in a sharp, sudden thrust. You suck in a breath through grit teeth and bore down. The push is heavenly and hellish all at once, a delicious pleasure-pained strain as your slick walls stretch to accommodate him.
“Almost… You’re doing well, tesoro,” he grunts, his brows pinched together with concentration and exertion.
To provide you with an extra shred of help, he massages your clit. And that’s all it takes. The rest of his knot pops inside, now connecting the both of you, and it leaves you feeling much fuller than you were before. Ecstasy crashes into you like a tumultuous wave, pulling you into a rushing current. It seems to happen in a flash. Collapsing against him, you dig your nails into his shoulders, your cunt clenching like a vise, and cum around his cock with a bawdy cry.
You don’t notice tears wetting your face until he’s lapping at the trickling trails. Azul coos at you in a lilting voice. This one is different from the patronizing tone he uses when he’s being playful. This one is intensely fond. “Oh, che brava ragazza. Molto buono.” He holds your face still and kisses each cheek. The wet smack of his lips on your skin brings you back to yourself. He brightens when you finally lock eyes with him. “There she is. My sweet girl, you’ve done so well.”
His flowery flattery warms the stone hearth that is your heart.
“Don’t let go of me. Stay here,” you plead even though you know that won’t be for another few minutes. You’re stuck together, and with this comes the delirium of mellowed rapture.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He runs his hand along your back, soothed in the same way you currently are.
You rest your head against his shoulder and inhale deeply. “You smell so good… Why aren’t you mated yet? I’m sure your mate would be happy to have you as their own.”
“I would hope so.”
“I’d be happy…t-to have someone to call my own! I think it’s a wonderful thing.”
“As do I.”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone.”
“I already have.” Something sly flickers in his gaze. It’s cold, creeping up your spine like a shadow. Without meaning to, you shiver. “And I’m not going to let her go. She’s always been mine. From the moment I met her, I was certain of this. She just can’t see it yet.”
You blink at him. His words play in loops, but you can’t comprehend his meaning.
Surely he’s not talking about…
You bark out a short laugh. “Stop messing around when we’re stuck together.”
“Aw. I thought it was plenty amusing.”
“Your sense of humor is so crooked!”
“Perhaps.” He pulls you flush against him and pets the bite on your shoulder. “My apologies for being so boorish.”
“Hm? Oh, that’s nothing. It’ll heal.”
“I do hope you feel better.”
“Ah, that… Sorry. I don’t know where my head was at earlier. Thanks for tonight, by the way. You’re too good to me.”
“I’d do anything for you. Never forget that.”
“What a scary sentiment…”
“Is that not a facet of love?”
“Depends. You don’t have to do everything for someone just to prove that you love them. And someone might not want that kind of love…”
“In the event of an unwilling spirit, I suppose the easiest solution is acceptance by way of entrapment.”
“What?”
“They say a room of glittering gold is still a cage even without the shackles. Perhaps there is no better love than the suffocating kind.”
“No way. That’s totally wrong!” You shake your head in amusement. “What a warped sort of love!”
“Is it? I’ve always believed this was most tangible—undeniable, even. Proof of one’s devotion.”
“That’s less romantic and more…obsessive. Don’t you think so?”
“There’s a phrase we sometimes say. Amore non è senza amaro.” You nod along, expecting the translation. But Azul merely smiles. “Well, I’m only saying such things to pass the time. Think nothing of it.”
“You really are an old man, speaking utter nonsense.”
“How you wound me with your slander!”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Nonno,” you tease, winking.
Azul feigns hurt. “To think I would be called that at my young, young age… My heart crumbles.”
You smile. Maybe it really was nothing. Although I was sure that he… It’s not really my problem. We’re not even together.
Still, something is nagging at you. A heavy word despite being so little—merely three letters.
Yet.
We’re not even together yet.
Maybe that’s just wishful thinking.
And yet, something tells you it’s not.
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drawinbutter · 1 year
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RandoDerby 12c: Sculpture. Chippin' away at the blocker wall. (RandoDerby - random word prompts for derby sketches / photos / whatever)
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pansyfemme · 6 months
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jude + he/him + nineteen
FTM femfag colorfreak and general rainbow lover. I’m a sophomore in art school, a lover of obscure indie pop, and a guy who makes transgender penis jokes on the internet. Stay weird with it always, yknow?
I’m veryyyyyy t4t towards other trans guys butch, fem, femme, and masc alike and this is 90% of my content fair warning.
Art: @fagboyfriend
Twee/Indie Pop blog : @upforabit
dm for nsfw blog
selfies are under: #Jude pansyfem irl
putting a short faq under cut bc. i get the same questions a lot. check it before you ask about my icon or header or anything
faq:
How long have you been on T/How do you have a beard at 19? I came out at 12 years old, started blockers at 14 and HRT later that same year, and had top surgery at 17, making me 5 years on t and 2.5 years post op.
What show/game/comic is your icon from? its a cropped version of the album cover of the 1999 album “shake the pounce” by vancouver based twee pop band Gaze. It’s a favorite album of mine as well as just a cool little guy i like a lot
Where is your header from? a painting i did in gouache a year or two ago and thought would make a nifty header.
Oh come on, you’re not unboyfriendable! “unboyfriendable” has been my title for a long time now on account of it being a lyric from a song that means a lot to me, “all my little words” by the magnetic fields. i promise i am very fuckable im just really into sad music sometimes
How do I refer to you? Actually, i don't get this question a lot, and I shouldn't, since this info is both in my pinned above and in my bio. But a lot of people still seem awful confused. I am male. FTM. I use He/Him pronouns and masculine terms with the exception of compliments like 'pretty' and all that. I am not nonbinary, and do not like to be referred to gender neutrally. I simply am a trans man who enjoys gender non conformity and cross-dressing.
Are you Bi or Gay? this world is full of beauty. im queer. take that how you will. I generally consider myself open to any gender as long as they’re trans, (i am strictly t4t.) but still identify pretty strongly with being a queer guy in the way that i do like other men.
What style are you wearing/where do you get your clothes? I started by wearing my personal version of the japanese fashion subculture Decora Kei. My decora became a bit messy and grungy, and while i do still identify as a decora boy and wear full coords from time to time, i consider myself now someone who enjoys colorful fashion and takes influence from 90s harajuku fashion, punk subcultures, drag and other campy fashion. I shop a variety of places, but a lot of my stuff is from Kei Collective or Candy Trap.
What is Twee/Do you Make Music? Twee is a music genre I developed a special interest in a few years back. It's a style of indie pop that originated after the UK rise of the famous c86 compilation tape in the late eighties, and was developed with a focus on low-fidelity, diy sound combined with upbeat, bubblegum-y pop sentiments and a naive, childlike outlook. It's both cute and somewhat rough around the edges. I do not make music, and don’t hold any musical skill. I’m just a major fan.
Do you take commissions? you may direct all art related questions to my art blog inbox, but for the time being, please just dm me for commission info. I take them on a case by case basis currently, im a full time student and have a lot on my plate. I’ll let you know my availability and pricing upon request, but i generally prefer the ‘you tell me your vision, i give you a quote and you tell me if that works for you’ model of pricing because each peice is considered its own thing in my mind. Pricing for ‘full body’ or ‘lineart’ doesnt work for me beacause the media and subject doesn’t really dictate how much time or effort a peice will take for me.
Can you boost/reblog this post for me? This is a tough answer, i know, but if we are not mutuals, or I do not know you, I cannot do that for you. My reasoning being that I have been baited by very similar asks in the past that turned out to be scams, and I do not want to take the risk of spreading misinformation or scams now that I have a much larger following. I do my best to spread stuff that ends up on my dash and/or I can factcheck, but if I do not have that, I will be wary, considering my past interactions.
Can we be friends/Can I DM you? Anyone is welcome to send me a message of any type at any time, unless I have those settings changed, in which case i likely have it off short term, because i experience fairly regular transphobic harassment and i find it the best way to protect myself. However, just understand that I am a stranger on the internet. I don't always want to continue every conversation, and I'm not online all the time. I have all push notifications for tumblr turned off, including asks and dms, because it's much better for my mental health to be able to opt out of tumblr the moment I close the app. So, if i don't respond, i'm probably just doing something else or didn't see your message. And, if you come in full force flirtatiously, i appriciate it greatly and i'm sure i'll let you know, but i'm pretty shy one on one. Additionally, i may not respond if you're a blank blog, way older or younger than me, or honestly.. anything that makes me uncomfortable. so like. all of these are pretty basic rules but, people don't follow them so i must clarify.
Do you have a DNI? I haven't in a long time, due to it being pretty frequently ignored and my following count growing to the point i can't really control that anymore. I can and will block people, but i feel my opinions are made fairly clear through what I post here.
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ayeforscotland · 3 months
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Trying to limit and monitor kids’ social media usage would make so many problems so much worse and I need people to think about it objectively and not take it into consideration just because the concept is a knee-jerk reaction from a grieving mother being exploited by everyone around her.
— Kids already lie about their age, so an age limit is already unenforceable unless you literally require legal ID, which is an incredible breach of privacy with even further safety risks.
— Vulnerable children including LGBTQ kids living with bigoted families would be put in real-life danger of abuse or homelessness if their families had a way of knowing when they’re seeking support.
— The internet and technology is a requirement to navigate the world around you at the most basic level. That is a fact and schools know it too. Limiting access to that in this day and age would be massively limiting one’s knowledge, safety and basic life skills, especially if their family is neglectful or abusive.
— What constitutes as social media cannot necessarily strictly be defined. Some people consider WhatsApp to be social media despite the fact it’s a texting app, and the people you communicate with there are presumably people you’ve spoken to before if you know their numbers. Kids need a way of communicating with people for both practical and safety reasons, and blanketing almost everything as ‘social media’ and limiting access to it inhibits that.
— If you put a ban on all ‘social media’ until the age of 16 and then suddenly allow access, what you end up with is a child who has zero knowledge or experience of something suddenly being thrown into a world where anything is possible. It’s like when teens are forbidden alcohol their whole lives and the day they turn 18 they go on a massive binge not knowing their limits and end up either sick or in the hospital. It’s a recipe for disaster. They NEED exposure so they can learn.
— Let’s be real, kids would find a way around a ban through VPNs or other means anyway. We all figured out how to dodge the website blockers at school when we were 12. I doubt this would be any different.
While the fact that one of the killers watched gore on the dark web is indeed concerning, I really feel the spotlight is being shone on entirely the wrong issue here. Their conversations about the murder were all on social media and provided significant proof for the case. What kids need isn’t for adults to try to control them and read everything into their lives, it’s for adults to communicate with them and make them feel comfortable enough to talk to them when they have a problem. And that’s ignoring the, you know, whole transphobia thing.
(Sorry to write a dissertation in your inbox but despite my deepest sympathies and compassion for Esther seeing people put any stock into her awful, awful idea when that’s so clearly not the problem does quite frustrate me and I need everyone to know just how illogical it is)
I don’t need to add anything to that besides saying this line of argument is very similar to the people who campaign for an internet where no one can be anonymous, it puts so many additional people at risk.
Thanks for taking the time to share!
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hyeque · 2 years
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messenger [tsukishima kei]
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synopsis: you and yamaguchi are best friends with tsukishima. nearly everyday girls come up to the two of you to ask about the blonde and you both have had just enough. little do you know that yamaguchi has a plan of his own to get the chatting to stop...
notes: based off the sole fact that it's canon that girls only go up to yamaguchi to ask him about tsukki, which obviously means he's popular with girls. this was originally written as a stand-alone but i decided to submit it for lexi's @suckerforsugawara first time for everything collab! i apologize for how late this is, writer’s block got the best of me.
warnings: reader is very much in their head, angst at first but eventual fluff with good ending
word count: 4kei
for as smart as tsukishima kei is, he sure is oblivious to how girls flirt with him.
everyday a good number of girls around campus whisper and talk about how they find the blonde middle blocker attractive. about how much a good boyfriend he would make. it amazes you to no end how much the tall and silent type attract people. you could probably end up rich with how much you hear about him, because there's seriously not one day where you don't hear his name.
at first, most of the comments make you laugh. over time though, you begin to roll your eyes and scoff. you don't understand why so many people like him. half the time you see how tsukishima interacts with hinata and kageyama and it isn't in the nicest or most pleasant way. it just looks like a complete circus act. you truly feel sorry for daichi and suga.
tsukishima is just...mean. if you had a boyfriend who treated you like that, you'd dump him on the spot.
but maybe you are a hypocrite because while you think of all these things, you're still friends with him.
...if you can even call it that—you're sure tsukishima just 'tolerates' you. but the fact that you and yamaguchi are the two he spends the most time with obviously means something. he also begrudgingly helps you with your homework and walks you home from class all the time.
it means something...right?
today is no different from many other days as you watch hinata and kageyama get into a heated screaming match about god knows what. tsukishima is on the side snickering to yamaguchi. everyone else is helplessly by standing.
but you, on the other hand, are in your own little world. you're one of the managers for karasuno university's volleyball team. currently, you're filling up water bottles for the team. being in the role as manager, you've become a master at zoning out hinata and kageyama's bickering.
but you did not expect that this skill would one day work against you.
"hinata, kageyama! watch out!" ennoshita shouts, but it's already too late. you feel the unruly force of a volleyball hit you, making you drop the bottles you're filling up and spill water on the ground.
"are you okay?" yamaguchi rushes to help you to your feet, shooting the offending people a small glare. kageyama and hinata shiver at tadashi's gaze and begin to profusely apologize.
"i'm okay, yams. thank you." you dust off your clothes and laugh, "it's nothing i can't help when those two get carried away."
"we are so sorry!" hinata cries, nearly tripping over himself to get to you. kageyama sheepishly let's out a 'sorry' before his face flushes a bright red.
you open your mouth to assure them you're fine, but a certain voice beats you to it.
"are you two that incompetent that you'll take out our manager in the middle of one of your childish games?" the voice hisses. "i knew the two of you were stupid, but you both surprise me every day. i have to start lowering my bar more."
you don't have to turn to know who it is.
tsukishima turns to you, a displeased look on his face. if you squint, you can see his concern. "and you really need to work on watching your surroundings. i'd rather not have to take you to the hospital." he scolds, picking up the bottles from the ground. he swats your hand away when you reach out for them and you puff out your cheeks, frustrated.
he always does this, where you can't tell if he cares for you, or if he's just being mean. maybe you’re reading into things too closely.
you watch his eyes scan your figure intently and you flinch when you feel him touch you. your breath hitches at how close he is, close enough to see the specks of gold in his eyes from behind the lenses of his sports googles.
his hand gently turns your face to either side, "are you hurt anywhere?"
at the feeling of his hand on your arm, you feel it burn at the source of his touch.  you quickly recover and answer that you're fine. he studies your face for a moment longer to detect if you're lying but doesn't prod for any more answers.
not too far away does yamaguchi note the gesture between you two, but doesn't say anything.
the rest of practice runs by smoothly and you have practically forgotten that you were hit with a volleyball. before you know it, it's over and everyone calls it a day before filing out to the lock room.
tsukishima announces that he has to go somewhere after practice and for you and yamaguchi to not wait up for him. neither of you question him on his whereabouts because chances are he won't even tell you anyways.
as punishment for hitting you with the volleyball, kageyama and hinata are responsible for cleaning up the gym and locking up, which gives you the advantage of getting home early. down to two, you and yamaguchi start your trek home, the convo floating between school, volleyball, and other interests.
"yamaguchi-san?"
the two of you turn at the sound of a girl. she looks anxious and nervous and holds a pink envelope in her hands.
"hi! what can i do for you?" he smiles, green eyes bright and inviting.
the girl seems to gain confidence at yamaguchi's smile. "i have this confession for tsukishima-kun...but i don't know how to give it to him, so i was wondering if you would give it to him for me?" the girl explains shyly. her eyes shift to you and widen. "you're not dating tsukishima-san are you?"
your eyes widen at the accusation and you bust out a laugh, hard. maybe too hard.
"me? date him? i could never!"
after your embarrassing and short-lived laughing party, yamaguchi reluctantly agrees to take the letter to give to tsukishima. a strange feeling wells up in your chest at the sight, and you don't know why you felt disappointed in him doing so.
as soon as the girl leaves, you see yamaguchi's shoulders sag and his smile fades. 
"what's wrong, yams?" you nudge your best friend in the side, noting the way he picks at the skin on his hand anxiously.
"nothing," he answers, "we need to get going now."
you pull him back. "it's not 'nothing'. come on, what is it?"
you watch as he takes a moment to gather his thoughts before he replies, "i appreciate and care about tsukki and all, but it really sucks that girls only talk to me about him." he pouts, puffing out his cheeks.
"it's probably because you're much more approachable than mr. blonde beanpole." you suggest, shrugging your shoulders. "frankly, I don't know why or what people see in him. he's not very people-friendly. plus he always walks around with a scowl on his face. but i too wish they would stop asking us about him. what did suckyshima do to get so many confessions all the time..."
your freckled faced friend raises his brows, amused by your passionate rambling. "are you jealous?" he asks, head tilting in inquiry.
"w-what? no! why would i be?" you scoff, feeling your heart race in your chest. "the only thing i'm jealous of is that beanpole blonde's attention." you say. "i would very much like to be confessed to as often as he gets!"
"you would hate it," yamaguchi chuckles, "you don't even like getting attention. especially from guys."
you click your tongue, not knowing how to disagree with him. "maybe, but it wouldn't hurt to have it happen once in a while, you know?" you sigh, "i can't go my entire life without experiencing a confession!"
you must've had a terrible past life to have such an unlucky dating experience. you've never had a guy ask you out. and while you don't like to be arrogant you consider yourself cute and a decent person—more so decent than glasses-kun.
"well, more guys would approach you if it wasn't for tsukki." yamaguchi says, and immediately upon speaking covers his mouth.
you raise a brow at your friend, "eh? what do you mean by that?"
before he can answer, you huff, "you're telling me blondie is messing up my love life? what does he gain from doing that?" you huff, feeling irritated that the number of cute boys you could've encountered is very little due to the fact that they were being cockblocked by the most annoying person on the planet.
yamaguchi would never tell you, and god bless your soul, but he's forever thankful for how oblivious you are at times. his skin is saved from having to explain to tsukishima why his crush on you has been outed.
but on the other hand, he desperately wants these confession shenanigans to be over with and for the two of you to confess to each other. to him, it's painfully obvious that there are shared feelings but neither one of you want to acknowledge the fact that there's something going on. he'd rather take the risk of tsukishima biting his head off if it means you two will end up together.
"let's just say that the two of you complain about each other too much for there not to be something going on between you two." yamaguchi says. "i just wish you'd both make out with each other or something."
panic swarms you, at the meer thought of locking lips with blondie. "tadashi, i would never be caught kissing him. i'd rather be dead." you say sternly, although an itch in your throat tells you otherwise.
"yeah, i totally got the vibe of that earlier when he came over to see if you were okay." he laughs, rolling his eyes.
"it didn't mean anything, he was just oddly nice..." you argue, the rapid beating of your heart mocking you.
the sudden silence could be cut through with a knife as you two walk. your knuckles grip your bag tightly as you focus on your feet in front of you.
"your crush never went away, right?" yamaguchi stops walking and looks at you intently.
when you don't respond, he knows his answer.
"that's another reason why i don't like getting these confessions. i don't want to see you get hurt by all of this." he reveals, his hand gripping the pink envelope he was given earlier.
"it doesn't matter, though. what i feel is irrelevant.” you shrug.
yamaguchi perks up, a light bulb going off. he presses the envelope to your hands. "you give this to him. you can find out what he says about the letter and how it makes him feel. he might act differently. that way, you can also decide if those feelings for him are still there, or if you've moved on. if you haven’t, then confess."
you turn away, not taking the envelope. your feet then move briskly. "what makes you think that he would accept my confession? there's no way he would."
"what's stopping you?" he presses, following you. "you don't know that unless you try."
a sharp exhale of air escapes you, your nerves taking your own words out of your mouth. "because i don't want to make a relationship awkward possibly. besides, he'll just make fun of me for having a crush on him and then reject me. so no way is tsukki going to accept it."
"he wouldn't do that. and you know he wouldn't. look, we both know tsukki better than anyone else does. i'm surprised at how blind you are to how he feels about you. or maybe you're denying it?"
before you can reply, you realize you've reached your apartment.
"just think about telling him? it'll ease your mind somehow, won't it? at least you'll have your answer and you can stop letting this eat at you the way it has for years." yamaguchi says, concern written on his face.
you sigh. "sure, tadashi. i'll think about it."
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you don't get a wink of sleep that night. and despite you wanting more time to think, you are meeting up with tsukishima and yamaguchi to hangout the next day. so even if you want to put off your thoughts about the situation, you can't.
"you look like shit," tsukishima says once you sit down at the cafe the three of you always meet up at. "like a zombie with the life is sucked out of them.”
“wow, how did you guess?” you say, response dripping with sarcasm.
a guilty look appears on his face before he changes it to a softer expression. "here, i already ordered for you." he says, pushing your favorite order across the counter.
"oh, thank you. you didn't have to." you reach into your bag to pay him back, but he pushes your hand away, a grimace on his face.
"yeah, well i did anyways." he says, turning away. a faint hue of pink can be seen across his cheeks. “you should really try not to over exert yourself. we can’t afford to have our manager collapsing.”
you stare at the drink, mind rambling. “right…”
tsukishima distracts himself with the time, noticing how late yamaguchi is. it isn’t like him to be late. once the male checks his phone, everything clicks into place.
"tadashi says he won't be able to make it to the movies." tsukishima tells you, slipping his phone back in his pocket.
"really?" you go to pull your own phone out of your bag to check, but something else catches your eyes first.
the pink envelope.
you gasp, gritting your teeth. "tadashi, you bastard..." you hiss, wondering when he slipped it into your bag.
"yeah, something about feeling sick..." the tall man's eyes slide down to look at you, and as attentive as he is he asks, "what are you grumbling about?"
you eyes glance between him and the letter, panic washes over you as you try to improvise a lie.
tsukishima leans over, peering into your bag. “what is that?” he asks.
solemnly, you hand him the pink envelope. cotton has lodged itself in your throat but you manage. "this...this is for you."
“from?” he questions, but he already knows it’s not you. you don’t dot your i’s like that.
“the usual. some girl with a crush on you.” you answer, “she didn’t know how to give it you directly.”
opening the letter, his brown eyes scan the contents carefully, silence overcoming him as he drinks in each word.
meanwhile, your heart races rapidly. you can feel yourself beginning to spiral in your mind, thinking of all the possibilities of what could happen next after he finishes reading the letter. instead of hearing anything, the blonde simply puts the letter back in the envelope.
“let’s go.” he says, standing up to leave.
wait...that's it? you watch him leave the cafe and scramble after him, confusion trailing you.
when you catch up to tsukishima, your eyes glance at him, trying to gauge anything. something.
"well?" you ask, brow arching up.
"'well' what?" he replies, staring at you expressionless.
"are you...going to accept?" you prod, leg bouncing.
the man seems to contemplate your question, not answering for a moment. the anticipation is killing you. swallowing you whole. you have to say something before you’re buried alive.
"don't accept that confession." you blurt.
"huh?" the blonde slips the envelope in his pocket. "and why not?"
you shift uncomfortably in your spot. "b-because."
"'b-because', isn't an answer. i hope you're aware." he mocks before stepping closing to you, a sly smirk on his face. "why do you look like you're about to throw up? is the thought of me getting a confession that repulsive to you?"
"shut up!" you hiss, the burning in your cheeks spreading like wildfire now. "i never said that."
"you didn't have to. your face said everything that i needed to know." he replies, "why are you so eager to know anyways?"
you shrug, "i mean, we're friends right? why wouldn't i be curious?"
a soft chuckle leaves him. it's pretty, and pretty looks very good on him. how annoying for your nerves. "right, and let's say i do accept the confession. what would you do then?"
you blink, your hands clammy, body scorching at this point. "dunno, maybe throw a party with a sign that says 'congrats kei, you're lovable after all'."
"you're a horrible liar, you know. it's very annoying." tsukishima scowls, grabbing your wrist and turning you to look at him.
"who said i was going to accept the confession?" he tilts his head to the side, leaning in slightly. "hmm? i think you put that idea in that pretty head of yours all by yourself."
you huff, irritated by his teasing manner."it's not funny to joke like that."
he blinks. "when did i make a joke?"
"you always do...i don't understand you, tsukishima." at this point you can feel your face burning up. you look away from the blonde, frustrated and also internally panicking. when you go to walk away, his large hand catches your wrist, pulling you back.
"so now we're back to tsukishima?" he asks, distaste in his tone.
you bite your lip, too scared to say anything.
he clicks his tongue. "listen, i didn't have to read the letter to know my answer. i didn't even need to receive one. i've already had my mind made up."
a soft 'oh' leaves your mouth. "is that right?"
"yes, because i already have feelings for someone." he confesses, and your heart nearly stops.
you weren't expecting this at all. you bargained for more than you wanted, but it’s your fault and your fault alone. you start to yell in your head about how wrong yamaguchi is, about how you're too late to confess now, because someone else has already stolen—
"this is for you." tsukishima hands a eerily similar pink envelope to you with a small plushie. your eyes widen as you look at the plush, recognizing that it's your favorite animal. you remember talking about how you still sleep with stuffed animals and made the mistake of having tsukishima overhear you. the teasing that day never ended.
when squeezing the plush to you, you're surprised to hear it play your favorite song. reading the letter, you recognize the handwriting as his immediately. you're familiar with how he loops his y's and g's. you recognize the eloquence in his words. but you feel alien reading how he pours his emotions—about you—into words. words that are a lot kinder and sweeter than his usual moments.
"why would i joke about my feelings?" he answers, pulling at his hands, fingers fidgeting. "if you don't reciprocate them—"
"no! i-i mean, yes! yes, i do!" your face is on fire at this point. "i'm just shocked, i-i wasn't expecting—"
"for someone to be into someone like you?" he finishes.
you blink, stunned by his response. "well, yeah."
and tsukishima kei does what tsukishima kei does best.
he flicks your forehead.
he rubs the spot where he flicked your forehead and his gaze becomes soft as he stares at you, his large hands not pulling back from how it gently cradles your face.
"i've been into your annoying ass since you yelled at those bullies for picking on tadashi." he mumbles, a fond look in his eyes.
your eyes look over him rapidly. "i don't get it. how? why?"
he pinches your cheek, rolling his eyes. "you keep saying that and it's really annoying." he continues, "it's simple. you're...you're a much better person than i am. you're smart...and funny. and you understand me even when my words don't always say what i mean. you've pushed me to be a better person." he tries to make himself smaller, wanting to escape his vulnerability, but it's hard when you're a walking lamppost.
"i can't stand the sight of other guys looking at you. at thinking they have a chance with you. call me a hypocrite because i know i'm the last person who deserves a chance with you, but—" he cuts himself off, fiddling his his hands.
"but what, kei?" you push, heart pounding.
"but i want one anyways. i've never felt like this with anyone before and i don't want to stop now. i...i'm willing to take the chance to ask to go out with you...even if i know you deserve better than me." he explains, head bowing low.
this time, you reach up and flick his forehead.
"ow? what the hell, dumbass?" he scowls.
"it's annoying when you do that, too," you say, teasing, "you always undermine how brilliant you are and it has to stop. you may be an asshole, but you're also perceptive, and caring, even if you don't really know how to show it in conventional ways."
he doesn't say anything because he knows you're right.
you speak again. "for the record, i think that you're pretty amazing. and a lot of other people think so too. learn to give yourself more credit, kei."
"i can say the same about you." he says, brushing hair back from your face. his eyes shift down to your lips before looking away just as quickly. his single strand of vulnerability left snaps.
"c-can i kiss you?" he stutters, and you're shocked to see the snarky blonde asshole you know in such a shy state.
"yes," you breathe, "please."
he can’t resist when you ask so nicely and look so pretty right in front of him.
and what you learn is that kei's kisses are sweeter than any words that can come out of his smart mouth. how that is possible, you don't know. but you surely don't mind at all.
he tugs you close to his body, his scent overtaking your senses. he smells like mint and whatever cologne he put on today and it's easily your new favorite aroma.
you pull away and can't help but note how pretty kei looks after kissing. hair disheveled, swollen lips, glossy eyes, and glasses nearly falling off his face. you quietly laugh and push the frames back up his face.
"i love you, you know." you say, holding his face.
he leans into you, kissing your palm as he reciprocates the words in a quiet voice. a quirk in his lips and he adds, "i would hope you do. i don't want to be seen having to return to build-a-bear for a second time to return a bear."
you grin, holding up the bear teasingly. "this plush?"
"oni-chan said i should give you something...that you'd appreciate. it's yours as long as you don't replace me with it." he answers, red creeping up his neck. "if you do, i'll return it."
"don't worry, kei. i promise not to replace you with a stuffed animal when i need cuddles." you latch onto his arm, clinging to him easily. he tugs you impossibly closer.
sending yamaguchi a text thank you and a picture of you with your new bear—now named tadashi—with an annoyed tsukishima holding you tight in the photo. 'new family photo! you were right!'.
yamaguchi only grins at the message, laying back on his bed as he smiles. his work as cupid is over. he'd figure out the third wheeling issue later.
for now, mission accomplished.
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do not copy and or repost. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated though! (c) 2022 hyeque
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jiniretss · 2 months
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Realization
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pairing: bf!suna rintarou x fem!reader
warning: swearing, mention of cutting, mention of weight loss, name calling, etc.
wc: 1.4k
genre: angst
summary: Suna didn't realize until he saw what he had done.
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Days and nights were always dark, lonely, silent, and heartbreaking. Nights where her whimpers of cries would just continue on until she passes out asleep. It continues the way it was for 4 whole years out of 8 of being married to Suna Rintarou, the amazing, popular, unique, and skilled blocker for National Boys Volleyball of all Japan. All she knew was that she barely saw her husband. Her head would snap to view the man she has married for 8 whole years, just for it only getting the vision of his back. The black sports jacket covered his body, revealing his team while caring for a bag. She would sigh to herself, getting the courage to talk to him. "Rin, here have some lunch I packed for yo -" by the time she could explain the dish, all she felt was a heavy slap of the dish flying away from the bento. Holding her hand closely towards her chest as to the bento breaks, therefore, glass shattered behind her. "I don't need your disgusting dish. All it does is just give me headaches!" He shouts while staring down on her trembling body. "God damn it. Now I'm late because of you. Such an ungrateful sight." He growled. Y/n couldn't help but cry once he had left the apartment. Palms against her face as she pulls on to her hair and for it to only scream out in pain. She couldn't see the light. All her mind was just fogged with only darkness. Messy. Exhaustion. Everything comes in mind that they can categorize. Her mind was fuzzed, but the tears slowly died down after screaming her heart out for the man she decided to spend her life with. Y/n couldn't think correctly. Everything rushing through her mind was just the only scene that happened 10 minutes ago. Her body moves before her actions can. Moving to pick up the bento, slowly being careful not to hurt herself with the sharp object that scatters among the dining room.
Staring at the food she spent the morning on, she sighed to herself as a single tears drops from her eyes. "What happened, rin?" She questioned, still picking up the dropped food that was settled on the ground. After some time had passed, it was 9 pm. Rintarou usual time to get home was 7:30. It's been 2 hours since. Calling him nonstop, messaging him where he was. But finally, hearing the keys jingle opening up the door, Y/n goes rushing towards the front door. "Rin, are you okay?" She asked with so much worry in her tone. "Did you eat? Are you hungry?" She continues to ask. Y/n was scared and worried for Rintarou, but all Rintarou was giving her the silent treatment. "Rin?" She asked again. "Can you just shut up?" He says, glaring down at her face, as her face just gives him a sad look. "Rin... can we just talk -" Rin groans in annoyance from the question. "Just stop! Stop being so ignorant, horrible, and a little peice of fucking shit in the house. Stop bothering me, I'm tired of you, I'm tired of your own well being. Stop just fucking stop. Every time I come back you just something I don't even wanna come back home. You such a little whore!!!" He yells, Y/n just staring into his eyes with her hands crumbled to her side. Her anxiety was kicking in. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt like tha-" her voice was small only for Rin to shove her back.
"Don't you fucking get it! I said stop! I don't wanna hear you. Matter a fact. I don't want to see you. I don't want you in my life. Your just a little bitch who's weeping around like a little sore loser... I could've stayed with Anna and be with her. She is such better than your ungrateful self. Look at you! You're getting bigger. You eating up all the food all the god damn time. At least Anna knows how maintain her weight. While you just go and eat and get bigger!!" He shouts loudly. Her wrapped around her waist, as tears shed down from her face. "Now leave me alone you unworthy crap!" He yells before stomping his feet the way up to the room. She fell to the floor. Palm to her mouth as she silently cry to herself.
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The next few days, Y/n didn't do much. She only cleaned, making sure there was food on the table, but she hadn't eaten. She took the words that Rintarou had thrown towards her. Her boney body only shows through her use to fit clothing. Rin began to notice the sudden change. How her body was fragile, she begans to wear baggy clothes, how her arms weren't showing no more. And how she was always pale. Her face was miserable, and her anxiety began to worsen more than before. "Y/n?" Rin begins only for her body to flinch at his voice. "You need to eat. you're getting really skinny." He said, not looking up at her but eating his food. She just nods, not saying a word. Picking up her fork while her hands were shaking, she dropped the utensils. Rin looks up at her. "Why aren't you eating?" He asked. "I'm not hungry." She says, getting up and walking towards the guest room where she has been sleeping for a while. Rintarou sighed to himself, thinking why she was all of sudden acting this way. He followed her into the room and opened the door to see scars on her arms and legs. "Y/n?" Suna's voice shakes. Y/n turns her head and begins to hurry to put her clothes on. "Suna... knock next time." She says quietly. "Suna," the last name of his ringing in his head. She never called me that ever since middle school. "Have you been cutting yourself?" Rin wonders. "No." She said shortly. "Yes, you have, let me see." Rin says, as she backs up into the corner. "No." She repeated. "I'm your husband so let me see." He says getting closer as her lifted up her sleeves. Seeing freshly and old cuts being available to see. "Why are you cutting yourself." Rin looks up in a painful look.
"Why you care?" She says, snatching her arm away, pulling down the sleeve. She pushes past Rintarou and hops in the bed. He slides in right next to her to hold her small portion of the body. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked again, still concerning over her actions. "Don't call me that." She replies. "What do you mean?" He sits up, staring at her face with tears coming down. "What's wrong?" He asked again. "You rin... you compared me to your ex-girlfriend, and then talked about my weight. Then tell me to shut the fuck up. And now you don't want that. You wanted space so I gave, you wanted me to lose weight right, so I gave. You wanted me to be like your ex girlfriend Anna, so I gave it. You wanted me to shut up, so I gave it to you. Still wanting to be by me, even though I'm ungrateful, a whore, a bitch, all those categories. Right, I am those. Cause I'm not as perfect as Anna was." She hiccuped between her words, only for Rin to remember what he said. "I'm sorry princess." Y/n looks over seeing that he was sorry. "I know you're not." She sighs. "But I forgive you." She trembles. Only for to hug her. "I don't want you to be like Anna, I want you to be yourself. I miss the way you would always make me food to bring to practice. I miss the way you healthy body looks, I miss everything about Y/n. Trust me. I was thinking about what I said and I know I hurt the love of my life. I'm really sorry. I was just stressed with the schedule I have that I've taken all theat stressed on to you. And I'm really sorry about it." Rin whispers, as he lied next to her for her to cuddle up against him. "Do me a favor. Will you be healthy again. It scares me to see you like this. I want you to be better." He smiles kissed her forehead. "Okay." Y/n mumbles. "Now let's go eat before the food gets cold. I'm going to watch you eat okay." She nods. As them both settled themselves downstairs in the dinning room.
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kairiscorner · 4 months
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𖦹 ⋆。°✩ number 7: kento nanami, middle blocker
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he didn't enlist to be here in the first place, actually... he joined for two reasons:
his stupid seniors, gojo and geto, refuses to leave him alone and kept encouraging him to join because 'his height and intelligence would be a huge advantage to the team' (that, and they said he looked scary, so he'd make the spiker uneasy)
haibara needed him to come with him, and honestly... nanami found it hard to say no to him, hence he caught gojo and geto's eyes and started the whole chain of events.
nanami had never experienced playing volleyball before, so he was struggling a bit at first; though nanami was a quick learner, and after observing some of his seniors and other players they play against during practice matches, he probed to be a valuable asset to the team.
he doesn't really hang out with the other team mates after school, he likes to train on his own, though the only he really gets better is by training with others that pose as challenges for him.
he absolutely hates it, but he does learn quite a lot from training with gojo, really. his spikes are always misleading, confusing the blockers they face against more often than not–paired with geto's superior setting skills, nanami's being treated to either the best training or the worst torture for a blocker to ask for.
nanami definitely has the highest jump reach out of everyone on the team, he doesn't exactly take pride in it, in fact, he does think that he could jump higher, he just doesn't have the energy to do it unless it's a real match and things start to get heated.
nanami hates running exercises, he loathes them with a burning passion. he doesn't mind jogging, though, as long as he's not being forced to nor is he jogging with his annoying seniors; haibara is fine, he just hums out his response or responds to him promptly.
nanami most likely has a routine he does with his wrists and fingers before they train or get on with a match... i can't explain it exactly, i just feel like he does.
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