#breadcrumbing

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

#trauma bond #breadcrumbing #narcissistic abuse #emotional abuse #inner child healing #reparenting #psychological abuse #healing from abuse #self love #boundaries #childhood trauma #gaslighting

[kingess]

I urge you to recognize this. Their interest with the unhealed versions of you has literally nothing to do with you. If he acts like he doesn't care, he doesn't care.

#breadcrumbing #Stop putting in so much effort

[starshapedjello]

I know you don’t want to hear this, but…

If they wanted to be with you, they would be with you. 💔

Stop allowing yourself to get breadcrumbed. 🍞

“Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.”

Breadcrumbing can lead a person to become limerent. 💔🥺💔

“Limerence is a state of being stuck between uncertainty and hope: Will they or won’t they return the sentiment? Perhaps a person has not rejected them entirely, but they haven’t confessed their love either.”

Being limerent on someone is the state of being entirely consumed by whether or not they will one day be in a committed romantic relationship with you. The person may have broken up with you or perhaps you two were never fully together in the first place. Either way, you find yourself becoming obsessed with them and fantasizing about being with them in the future. You will make up excuses for them about why they can’t be with you now or maybe they will feed you excuses as to why you two are not together.

Neptune can be the culprit 😩

Aspects to Neptune can create a lot of fog on how someone views themselves and others. Neptune can be beautiful, yet dangerous. Be careful out there and make sure you are seeing the reality of a situation. Don’t get played. 😮‍💨 Respect your needs. 💞

#astrology #horoscope #zodiac #synastry #astrology thoughts #astrology aspects #neptune #pisces #12th house #neptunian #limerence #breadcrumbs #breadcrumbing #CPTSD #dating advice

[furiousgoldfish]

When you’re living with abusers it’s impossible to see them full time as dangerous, abusive and hellish individuals because you’re a social creature, and you have numerous memories of these people managing to be peaceful sometimes, to be nice sometimes, to give you little crumbs of affection. And since they make sure you’re mostly isolated, whenever you need to share something with a human human, or express a feeling or just yell or speak or interact - they’re the only people you have at your disposal.

People living in your house are always the first people you go to, even if they didn’t always react well in the past, you can’t stop hoping that this one time, they will. Maybe they’ll take this news alright, maybe they’ll endure hearing what you have to say without swinging back an insult, maybe you can, for this one time, go and look forward to telling something to someone and get a human reaction.

We don’t hope for more than a human reaction, because we’ve been living on these little crumbs of humanity they throw at us, and it’s all we can ever get. We’re starving for humanity. We can’t give up on the idea that we can’t ever consistently get it from them - because getting it somewhere else seems impossible, or has been made impossible by them. We have to somehow live with abusers around, even if we’re scared or anxious or terrified, we have to push it down in order to make it thru. Human desire to connect, socialize and share doesn’t go away under the conditions of abuse. It doesn’t go away until all interaction becomes life threatening, and even then, the urge for it hurts as we ignore it.

#repressing abuse #living in abuse #humanizing abusers to survive #magical thinking to survive #breadcrumbing #living on little bit of humanity #among the abuse

[oasisr]

So, I rewatched the first three Twilight movies while studying today.

And, to say that this "love story" (if you can even call it that) was toxic would be an understatement.

I am seriously seeing what is wrong with modern relationships by watching Twilight now that I am almost 30 years-old. Bella reminds me so much of myself from my teen years and my early 20s. It's really sad.

I gave my past relationships so much. I put in so much time, effort, money, affection, acts of service, etc. just to be used and discarded.

I truly can see how NPD men like Edward easily gaslight and manipulate C-PTSD/BPD women like Bella. It's such a common phenomena in today's world. And, it makes me feel genuine sorrow for the women who are currently going through it, not realizing just how bad it is.

Worst of all, many of these toxic men know exactly what they're doing. They read The Red Pill rhetoric online and intentionally act like assholes so that women will feel hooked on them.

It becomes an adrenaline rush. The drama, the ups and downs, the lack of affection followed by sex and physical touch, the lack of communication that comes after the intense lovebombing (also known as breadcrumbing).

It becomes a rollercoaster of emotions, and as sensitive women, groomed for romance and marriage, we begin to chase these types of men because we have insecure attachment types.

Our biggest fear is that they will leave us, which we subconsciously know they are planning because of all of the pain they put us through. If they truly were committed to us, they wouldn't even play the hot and cold mind games to begin with.

This is not real love. It is lust and toxicity.

#twilight #Edward Cullen #Bella Swan #film #cinema #movies #movie review #psychology #npd #bpd #cptsd #ptsd #codependency #stephanie meyer #twilight saga #narcissistic abuse #abusive relationship #emotional abuse #breadcrumbing #the red pill #fds #female dating strategy #conspiracy #freeblr #conspiracy theory #truther #truth #tradfem #radfem #feminist

[vizthedatum]

No more gas station flowers to win me over

No more breadcrumbs of affection I have to beg for

No more half-assed apologies

No more explaining my reactions to your upsetting behavior

No more weddings that I plan and design

No more inserting myself into the tiny crevices in your life so you don’t feel so insecure

No more breaking my boundaries

No more giving up my own pleasure so you can have yours

No more unsafe interactions that I don’t consent to

No more excuses for why you can’t be flexible with my dynamic needs in life

No more justifying that I can or cannot do something

No more suppressing my feelings

NO MORE GAS STATION FLOWERS

#love #harm #trauma #healing #neurodivergence #heartbreak #queer #self love #poetry #prose #poem #flowers #breadcrumbing #breadcrumbs #disrespect #boundaries #standards #raising my standards #this is the bare minimum #excellence not decency #romance

[louisa-a]

Ep.70 📖📱 Charlotte @lacelibataire_lavraie "le célibat, parfois c'est très cool, parfois très chiant"

Quel plaisir de retrouver Charlotte “La célibataire, la vraie” (sur Instagram), 2 ans après notre 1er épisode ensemble (le n°23). Entretemps son compte Instagram est devenu encore plus LA référence concernant l’humour et les contenus plus profonds, liés aux célibataires, avec plus de 45 000 abonnés. Et consécration : un livre ! “Célibat, mode d’emploi” (éditions Mango, illustrations…

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#amour #amour propre #applications de rencontre #breadcrumbing #bumble #célibat #célibataire #confiance en soi #dating #dépendance affective #ego #estime de soi #féminisme #femme #gaslighting #ghosting #homme toxique #homme violent #livres #okcupid #orbiting #patriarcat #podcast #pression familiale #pression sociale #psychanalyse #psychologie #psychothérapie #relation toxique #rencontres

[petalcakes]

Breadcrumbing - he keeps initiating conversation and leaving small interactions on social even though he’s not seen me for the past 6 months.

I know what he’s doing. Making sure I’ll be accessible when he’s out of option. I know that: but I still hope that this minuscule interaction will escalate to something more.

I’m not in love with him. I don’t even want to be in a relationship with him. And I know exactly why I’m so hooked but I just can’t stop. He’s like a stain, and my bleach is not working.

#casualsex #fwb problems #fuck emotions #daddy issues #breadcrumbing

[shaadiwish]

Are You Aware Of Modern Dating Term Called Breadcrumbing? Don’t Worry, ShaadiWish Will Enlighten You With Relationship Terms From Gen Z Era.

#All About Relationship Terms #Breadcrumbed #Breadcrumbing #lifestyle #Lifestyle And Relationship #Lifestyle Blogs #Modern Dating #Modern Dating Ideas #Modern Dating Terms #Modern Day Relationships #relationship #Relationship Terms #What Is Breadcrumbing #Shaadiwish

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

#inner child healing #reparenting #limerance #love addiction #people pleasing #fawning #mind games #future faking #breadcrumbing

[tengomilpalabrasparati]

Hola! La chica de 25 que sale con el de 21 y le pidió exclusividad aqui. Ojala no te moleste, ya demasiadas preguntas. Pero bueno, me ayudaste bastante y quería contarte lo ultimo qué pasó. Primero decirte que lo de que su mamá está en coma es totalmente cierto, vivo en un pueblo, nos conocemos entre todos, la he visto. Ella quedó así cuando el chico era casi un bebé.

Y por otro lado, le escribí el lunes pasado diciéndole que me había sentido muy incómoda con la situación cuando le pedí exclusividad porque sentí que él no se lo había tomado bien, y él me contestó que no se lo había tomado mal pero igual quería seguir quedando conmigo, a lo que yo no le respondí más. Pero anoche (sábado) respondió a una historia mía diciéndome que le gustaría despertarse los domingos desayunando conmigo, y yo le puse “jaja si” y de ahí me dijo “no me hablaste más, eso me destruyó “. No sé si lo dijo en bromas o no, la cuestión es que estuvimos hablando todo el día normalmente. Yo dispuesta a terminar esto y aparece de nuevo, quizás tenes razón y debería no apresurar con la exclusividad y esperar un poco más. No hizo nada nunca para lastimarme solo me confundía porque es una persona que le cuesta abrirse en estos temas serios o se pone nervioso o quizás no quiere una relación. Una vez me dio COVID y no me pregunto nunca cómo estaba, el otro día se murió mi perra y nada tampoco, pero todos los días me pregunta cómo estoy al iniciar la charla del día. Es como si evitara lo difícil o lo triste, pero en fin… que sigue ahí dispuesto. Cuando quizás si no le importara tenía la oportunidad de deshacerse de mi, intento descifrarlo pero quizás deba relajarme, no lo sé y por eso vengo a preguntarte cómo podría seguir.

Dos cosas que no sé si serán relevantes decir pero igual las digo.

1 no siempre tenemos sexo (de hecho la última vez fue hace como dos meses) y es porque él así lo decide porque la iniciativa siempre la tengo yo, cuando él tiene la iniciativa casi siempre es para pasar por mi casa un rato a verme antes de dormir o dar una vuelta en su auto.

2 dado a que no me dio respuesta sobre la exclusividad, voy a quedar con otros chicos si así lo deseo.

Hola, si me acuerdo de ti y no me molesta que preguntes lo que necesites o te desahogues si lo necesitas, para eso está el blog 👍

No es que me alegre de que la madre de este chico esté en coma pero es bueno descartarlo como excusa, no te imaginarias la de cosas que oigo como puerta de escape a una relación.

Amiga, veo que buscas la manera de excusar comportamientos suyos que no están bien, como el preguntar por tu salud, o consolarte por la pérdida de tu mascota, esto no son cosas absurdas o insignificantes, son pistas de como es su personalidad ... luego con los años es cuando decimos "el no era así" ...si lo era, solo que lo excusábamos.

Es desconcertante que un día no te hable y de repente te diga "quiero despertar a tu lado" pero todos tenemos calentones en algún momento y eres tú quien lo consuela en estos temas.

No evita lo difícil o triste, evita implicarse demasiado, se comporta de manera superficial para no tener complicaciones emocionales.

De momento solo te quiere para lo bueno y para cuando el quiere, no busca una implicación emocional y dudo que esté preparado.

Por supuesto que puedes salir con quienes quieras, no es tu novio, solo un amigo con derechos, pero es bueno que se lo hagas saber.

Ni contigo ni sin ti: ese chico que aparece y desaparece, ¿te está haciendo breadcrumbing

Parecía que conectabais pero entonces él desapareció dos semanas. A la tercera te llamó para quedar. Y fue muy bien. Luego nada. Días después un Whastapp suelto con una excusa. De nuevo te llama, necesita verte. Esto de “ni estamos ni no estamos”, las migajas de amor, se llama breadcrumbing, y es realmente nefasto.

La magia de las migajas, cuando el personaje en cuestión lo hace “bien”, es que enganchan y mucho.

El proceso psicológico que hay detrás lleva a que valoremos por encima de los aspectos negativos el hecho de que nos dedique tiempo, a que nos sintamos especiales y eso compense lo malo, es por ello que tendemos a excusarlo.

El problema de este tipo de relaciones es que nos tienen en vilo, analizando al milímetro nuestra conducta a ver qué hemos hecho para que vuelva a llamarnos y qué habremos hecho mal para que lleve dos semanas sin hacerlo.

Al romperse la relación conducta-consecuencia nos volvemos locos, empezamos a probar conductas nuevas, a cambiar a ver si damos con la tecla de lo que le hace “volver a nosotros”. Hipersobservamos nuestra conducta, hacemos comentarios de texto con sus mensajes y analizamos hasta la extenuación cada detalle en busca de una pista que nos señale qué ha sucedido esta vez para que haya llamado.

Esto es agotador e inútil a partes iguales porque, repito: no hay nada que tú hayas hecho que le haya alejado estos días, ni nada que le haya hecho volver, hace lo que hace porque le da la gana y porque tiene sus motivos. Así que deja descansar a tu cabeza y a tu corazoncito porque estás haciendo un esfuerzo sobrehumano... para nada.

Igual piensas “Seguro que al final cambia por mí” o “Es que tiene un problema por sus relaciones pasadas pero conmigo y mi ayuda seguro que vuelve a creer en el amor”.

Uno de los motivos por los que aguantamos este tipo de relaciones (sin ser relación, además) es precisamente por estas ideas, por la creencia de que esa persona va a cambiar al final y va a convertirse en la pareja que imaginábamos. El problema de esto es que efectivamente, es nuestra imaginación la que está rellenando los huecos. Estamos basando la historia en la proyección que hacemos de nuestras expectativas y necesidades en lugar de en los hechos y conductas reales de esta persona.

No asumas la responsabilidad del cambio: “Es que tuvo malas experiencias con otras relaciones...” ya, vale, a todos nos ha pasado, pero es algo que la persona tiene que gestionar por sí misma, si es que quiere hacerlo. Porque, cuidado aquí, a veces no es que tengan heridas emocionales, es que tienen la cara como el bracito de The Rock.

Céntrate en qué hace y no en qué te dice: los seres humanos tenemos una cosa muy bonita y es que podemos decir maravillas pero luego ser unos completos desalmados. Las palabras, aunque suene a tópico, se las lleva el viento. Lo consistente, lo que de verdad ha de importarte son los hechos, las conductas. Si te dice que te va a llamar pero no lo hace deja de comprarle las excusas y deja de ponerlas tú: no ha venido hoy tampoco, y eso es lo que cuenta.

Haz planes y no los cambies cuando aparezca. Como llaman cuando les da la gana suelen pillarnos con planes hechos, planes que a menudo abandonamos porque “como ha llamado...”. Pues ya está bien: tú tienes tus planes, y si no puede otro día es que no tiene interés en quedar, y punto. Tu autoestima  necesita que recuerdes que tú eres lo más importante, y eso incluye los planes que ya has hecho y no estar a merced de lo que aquí el amigo quiera.

Haz una lista de las cosas que quieres de una relación, de una pareja, los mínimos imprescindibles. Haz otra con lo que no quieres. Cuando esta persona contacte contigo, cuando luego desaparezca semanas, cuando te dé plantón... ve a esas listas y anota. No hay nada como tener en papel las cosas para darnos cuenta del desastre.

No hay partes, es un todo: tendemos a parcelar y dividir a las personas en sus partes que nos gustan y en las que no. Es un tío estupendo, nos reímos, el sexo bien... No da señales de vida en días, pero por lo demás... No hagas eso, no es “por lo demás”, todo eso, incluyendo el hecho de que te llama cuando le da la gana, es ÉL, no hay partes porque no es algo extirpable. Si es celoso, ES celoso, no es un compartimento, así que no aísles partes y mira el global, a la persona en global.

Nos merecemos atención, que nos quieran y que quieran estar con nosotros y sobre todo, merecemos respeto.

A partir del discursito querida amiga, tu decides que hacer con el 😁

SUERTE 🍀

#breadcrumbing #ask #chat

[browneyedlove]

Breadcrumbing

I've learned what this means

Basically

You're a placeholder

It's as if you're reading the best

Most provocative

Life altering book

But

You're bored

Maybe tired

So you put a placeholder

To not lose the page

It means you're awesome

You're an intelligent

And

An interesting person

But

They have other 'Books'

To read

Thumb through

So you're put on standby

You have just enough attention

To get hooked

Again

But not enough

To be satisfied

Once you recognize the pattern

Do you stay?

It depends

Does this also work for you?

If it does

And

You know it will happen again

And

It's not a negative experience

Then enjoy it

But

If it doesn't work for you

And you really don't enjoy it

Then you have to walk away

More so

If it has happened

A few times

Before

So

Just do what's right for you

And

Just know

You're an awesome

Amazing

Beautiful

Human being

How others treat you

Has nothing to do

With self worth

But all to do

With the other persons

Need

Of not having

Emotional intimacy

Whatever you decide

Have it be

Something

That works for you

#spilled ink #spilled thoughts #my thoughts #spilled words #breadcrumbing

[visionsfromhellpoetry]

Breadcrumbs

Training magpies to expectyour paltry offering of breadon the third day, you watchas they assemble by the binat the appointed hour,garrulous and keen,but show them no pity.Don’t emerge, vowing instead to never be as needy as they seem, to stay alone and not invoke through them a way to bargain for unearthly favour.A deer will rag your bones, heath browns will makepoor mimics of your eyes, as…

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#abandonment #breadcrumbing #curse #Dark #desire #fear #nature #Need #witch

[mysocialcalendar]

Ghosting, Benching, and Breadcrumbing: The Modern Dating Lexicon

In the modern dating scene, things have changed a lot. Thanks to digital technology and evolving social norms, we've got a whole new lexicon of terms to describe the ins and outs of dating. So, let's break it down and make sense of this new dating language to navigate today's relationships successfully.

Ghosting: Perhaps one of the most well-known terms, ghosting refers to the act of abruptly cutting off all communication within a budding romantic relationship. The ghoster simply vanishes into thin air, ignoring texts, calls, and even carrier pigeon memos, leaving the other person bewildered and abandoned. Many psychologists consider ghosting a form of emotional cruelty, as it deepens feelings of abandonment and confusion. In any situation, it's best to address issues and communicate openly, even if the conversation might be challenging.

Benching: In the dating arena, benching is analogous to "stacking your roster." It involves keeping potential romantic interests on standby, ready to be called into the game when convenient. This often includes breadcrumbing, which leads those on the bench with mixed signals and unfulfilled expectations. If you find yourself benched, consider discussing your intentions and expectations with your romantic interest.

Breadcrumbing: Originating from Hansel and Gretel's tale, breadcrumbing entails leaving subtle hints or messages that create the illusion of interest without genuine commitment. Breadcrumbs can manifest through texts, calls, and social media attention, just enough to keep someone intrigued but ultimately unsatisfied. Breadcrumbing can be emotionally taxing, as it often leads to nowhere, and it's essential to recognize when you're being strung along.

Haunting: After ghosting, some individuals reappear in your life, haunting your digital presence through likes, comments, and reactions on social media. This behavior, while confusing, is a way for the ghoster to maintain a connection without fully re-engaging. It's important to interpret such actions as a sign of trouble rather than genuine interest.

Zombie-ing: Zombies are ghosts that return from the dating afterlife, often months or even years later, attempting to reconnect. Be cautious of their intentions, as they may feign transformation, but it's crucial to remember their past behavior and make informed decisions.

Understanding these terms and the complex dynamics they represent is vital for successfully navigating modern dating. The advent of technology and evolving social norms have created an environment where these dating phenomena have become commonplace. However, it's essential to prioritize open and honest communication in relationships to avoid unnecessary confusion, hurt feelings, and disappointment.

In a world where dating can be as bewildering as it is exciting, it's crucial to be transparent about your intentions and desires. Being clear with your partner, and with yourself, about your expectations can help build meaningful and fulfilling relationships. This proactive approach ensures that you don't get caught in the web of ghosting, benching, or breadcrumbing, and instead, find genuine connections in the ever-evolving dating landscape.

#my social calendar #dating #love #relationships #romance #online dating #relationship #social #Ghosting #Benching #Breadcrumbing #Terms #Lexicon #My Social Calendar

[frombehindthepen]

On the Back Burner with Paperclipping?

On the Back Burner with Paperclipping? #Relationships #Manipulation #EmotionalIntelligence

Image Credit: Freestocks Paperclipping? Ok, so call me old-fashioned or not staying up-to-date with the latest trending relationship lingos. When I read an article recently that asked if you have ever been paperclipped, I thought it was some marketing term meaning to put something office-related on hold or the back burner. Look, if an ex suddenly reaches out to you without warning, just because…

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#BB King #Behaviors #Breadcrumbing #Emotional Intelligence #Manipulation #Paperclipping #Relationships #Video

[seasaltandcopper]

I think one of my favorite creative joys is seeing how many different things people can do with the same concept. give ten writers the same starting point, or basic plot, or set of tropes to use and you're still going to get wildly different end results

the details you focus on, the ones you omit, turns of phrase, tone, and framing, the cadence and tempo of the sentences themselves, all the little fingerprints you've left littered across the prose — how you tell the story matters, and your personal voice is what makes it unique

#writeblr #breadcrumbs #I don't care if it's been done before do it again