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bisexualbuckleyy · 2 years

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shadowhunters ships as taylor swift songs

the saga of unhinged shadowhunters chronicles posts continues! once again this post is absurdly long so i'm putting it under a cut. let me know your thoughts/other songs that remind you of particular ships cause i'm always down to talk about that!

clace: state of grace

we fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds, or fades in time

and i never saw you coming, and i’ll never be the same

so you were never a saint, and I've loved in shades of wrong, we learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts

malec: lover

and there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear, have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

can I go where you go? can we always be this close forever and ever?

my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue, all's well that ends well to end up with you

sizzy: wildest dreams

say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe, red lips and rosy cheeks, say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams

someday when you leave me, i bet these memories follow you around

say you'll see me again, even if it's just pretend

wessa: peace

but I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm, if your cascade ocean wave blues come, all these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret

and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches, give you my wild, give you a child, give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other

i'd give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me

jessa: invisible string

and isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire, chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons, one single thread of gold tied me to you

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

blackstairs: cruel summer

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes, what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true, i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

and I screamed “for whatever it's worth, I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?”

kit x ty: death by a thousand cuts

saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts, flashbacks waking me up

i look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier's still flickering here, cause i can't pretend it's ok when it's not

i take the long way home, i ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right, they say, "i don't know"

and what once was ours is no one's now, i see you everywhere, the only thing we share is this small town

my heart, my hips, my body, my love, trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

quiet my fears with the touch of your hand, paper cut stings from our paper thin plans

gave you too much but it wasn't enough, but i'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts

kierarktina: dancing with our hands tied

my love had been frozen, deep blue, but you painted me golden

and darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis, people started talking, putting us through our paces, i knew there was no one in the world who could take it

i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us, so, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?

i'd kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down, i'd hold you as the water rushes in, if i could dance with you again

jordelia: cardigan

when you are young, they assume you know nothing

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite

a friend to all is a friend to none, chase two girls, lose the one

you drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleeding

cause I knew you, stepping on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain

but i knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, i knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs, the smell of smoke would hang around this long, cause i knew everything when i was young

thomastair: treacherous

and i'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands

and i'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand

your name has echoed through my mind, and i just think you should, think you should know, that nothing safe is worth the drive, and i would follow you, follow you home

ghostwriter: enchanted

your eyes whispered, "have we met?" 'cross the room your silhouette, starts to make its way to me

i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home, i'll spend forever wondering if you knew, i was enchanted to meet you

this is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the story line ends

arianna: august

whispers of "are you sure?" "never have I ever before"

but i can see us lost in the memory, august slipped away into a moment in time, cause it was never mine, and i can see us twisted in bedsheets, august sipped away like a bottle of wine, cause you were never mine

back when we were still changing for the better, wanting was enough, for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all

so much for summer love and saying "us" cause you weren't mine to lose

charles/alastair: the story of us

i used to know my place was the spot next to you, now i’m searching the room for an empty seat, cause lately i don't even know what page you're on

so many things that i wish you knew, so many walls up i can't break through

now i’m standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking, and i’m dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?

james/grace: my tears ricochet

even on my worst day, did i deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me? cause i loved you, i swear i loved you, ’til my dying day

and i can go anywhere I want, anywhere i want, just not home

you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same, cursing my name, wishing i stayed, you turned into your worst fears

fairstairs: run

give me the keys, i’ll bring the car back around, we shouldn't be in this town, and my so-called friends, they don't know, i’d drive away before i let you go, so give me a reason and don't say no

and run, like you'd run from the law, darling, let's run, run from it all, we can go where our eyes can take us, go where no one else is

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oligoweee · 7 months

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Smile Hell Info Dump

I'm going to basically info dump about my old Smiler story called "Smile Hell." I never even got close to finishing the story, I only got roughly 20k words in and that didn't even get into it all however I had lost motivation.

In this universe, the Ministry of Joy (it's not actually called that) basically has locations all across the globe that aim for bringing joy to everyone but have many faults and there was even a reversal serum in the works. The Smiler roller coaster does exist at Alton Towers and there are many rumors surrounding it, some of which are in fact secretly true. I think it is an interesting take on the MOJ and I'd love to go back to it someday but for now I will give a fairly in-depth summary and talk about what was written, general lore/ideas, and what I had planned, including the ending.

Trigger warnings for: suicide, mental illness, kidnapping, murder, medical themes, abuse, and gore.

(Not going into detail for these because this is just a summary-type thing but they are referenced so I am putting warnings as a precaution.)

This is gonna be a VERY long (roughly 4.5k words long) post so have fun reading if you decide to, you're in for a long ride :)

[Also here was the cover for it!]

So, the important characters are:

Levee Bailey

Lance Hawks

Archie Bailey

Isa [No Last Name]

Doctor Thomas Lukes

Braylen [No Last Name]

This story takes place in 2021 in Maine USA and specifically a real life county by the name of Oxford.

Many people over the span of a year were going missing and no one was able to find them or they would be found but they behaved drastically different than before.

In Oxford County, two families lived there known as the Bailey family and the Hawks family. Lance Hawks was a theme park enthusiast and would travel all over the world or just go to theme parks nearby in the US, one of these trips was Alton Towers and he offered to bring along his neighbor and closest friend, Levee Bailey alongside her two teenage brothers, Archie and Koda. This trip was only left to references in the story. They went on the Smiler of course and things were fine up until they flew back to the US.

Before that, Koda had been struggling with mental illness and it kept declining but then the trip (and specifically the Smiler) had boosted his mood for a few weeks afterward until it started to decline again. In May, he committed suicide however his sister had been there and for months afterward, she thought it was her fault and that she was a murderer despite everything telling her otherwise. His death was all over the news and attracted a bunch of public attention and many articles online.

So now we get to where the main story begins, September of 2021.

Levee is still dealing with her grief and she often finds herself standing in Koda's room just grieving. She has flashbacks of the day he died quite often. Since the loss of Koda, Levee tried making attempts to get closer with her remaining brother, Archie, but experiences a lot of pain when looking at him because of his similar resemblance to Koda.

Since her brother's death, Levee constantly feels like she's being watched. Like hundreds of eyes are on her at all times. She's constantly paranoid outside her home and is always telling herself that everything is in her head. What she doesn't know is that she is in fact being somewhat watched in one way or another. This feeling is both real and in her head at the same time.

One morning she wakes up and realizes that her best friend (and neighbor), Lance, is not in his garden and she finds that really odd because he's always gardening in the mornings unless he's traveling. Levee tries thinking logically but deep down she feels that something bad has happened. And she is absolutely correct. We soon learn that Lance was in fact abducted and a missing person report was filed however with how many people have gone missing from Oxford County with little to no updates, there's not a whole lot of hope about Lance. (Sorry, pal.)

One of the people missing from Oxford County is a woman by the name of Aria Davis, her case was by far one of the most popular because she is one of the longest lost people, having been missing for nearly a year. Levee came across an article about her disappearance and was quite panicked and that is when she stopped thinking logically about Lance not being outside. So, she did the smart thing and went to his house and spoke to his mother who told Levee the news.

She was obviously upset to the point she didn't tell Archie so he decided to go over there himself and then he got back, wondering why Levee didn't tell him. When he questioned her about it the two started to get into an argument so he left the room clearly pissed.

Now there's a bit of filler but since it's September, Archie is going back to school. Well on his first day of school that boy got kidnapped and Levee did not know until she herself got kidnapped. Fun times with the Bailey family, am I right?

So, on this day, Levee goes to her job which is at the end of her street and it's roughly a ten minute walk (or in her case, a five minute run.) She feels like she is being watched the entire time but gets to her workplace and the day goes on until she has to go back home.

Levee dashes back home as the sun is setting and while thinking Archie is home from school, she knocks on the door as he usually unlocks it for her but this does not happen so she tries calling him and he doesn't answer, she assumes that he's still mad at her from the previous day so she grabs her house key but quickly realizes that it is not inside of her satchel bag (which previously belonged to Koda, fun bit of lore) so she gets a bit panicked as that feeling of being watched is not going away any time soon.

So, she runs over to the Hawks' house and rings the doorbell because she thought someone would be home but nobody answers and this causes her even more distress as she is alone outside in the dark. Levee then proceeds to out of reflex try and call Lance who obviously does not answer and then after this she calls her mother who tells her to go back to her workplace and wait there because her mom would be out of work shortly.

And this is where Levee's fate is set.

She makes a run for it back to her workplace but since it is very dark out, she doesn't quite know where she's going and the streetlights are dimmed. Then she notices a truck going down the street and she could have sworn it was following her. This completely screws up her course and she ends up going the wrong direction and running face first into a telephone pole which breaks her nose.

Levee is pretty much stunned for a moment and sitting on the ground to try and recover and she comes to the realization she ran in the wrong direction so she pulls out her phone and tries to go onto Google Maps but has no mobile data or anything.

She sits there trying to regain her energy and strength to get up off the sidewalk and she eventually does when she hears heavy footsteps coming from behind her. So, once again she starts running and then it turns out she's being shot at by whoever was chasing her.

Levee can only dodge the darts for so long before one lands in her neck and stuns her, within a few moments exhaustion overcomes her and she passes out with one last thought in her head, "I'm gonna die, aren't I?"

---

Levee wakes up on a bed inside of a hospital-like room and it brings back memories of being with Koda when he died. She can't quite recall how she got in this place but is aware of an odd sensation on her arm, specifically the crook of her elbow which has gauze taped to it (implying that she had been poked with a needle of some sort.) For some reason, there is a very small feeling of joy that she can't quite focus on but it keeps her calmed for the most part.

She realizes there is a somewhat dull pain all throughout her head and neck but again, she can't recall what had happened. Despite her recognizing the room she's in as some kind of hospital one, she knows for certain she is not in a real hospital.

There is a description of the room which I will share a little of; the upper halves of the walls are a sandy-gray color whereas the lower halves are made of black and bright-yellow stripes and at the very bottom there is short white trimming lining the walls. The floor is made of light-gray tiles.

There's a table in this room and on top of it is a key card lanyard so once she gets herself off of the bed, she stumbles over to there and takes it. There is a name written on it alongside numbers and she doesn't quite understand what they mean. Next to the lanyard there is a note which tells her how to use it and that only her key card and her roommate's key card will work on the singular room door however the cards work on all other doors within the "Sanctuary." It also explains that she is a "employee," for this place and that she's currently on the third floor and needs to make her way up the fourth floor in order to change into uniform.

Levee looks over at the other side of the room and notices her roommate who is fast asleep, the table on their side contains the same items as Levee's.

Using the key card, she leaves the room and makes her way through a hallway with many different doors that need to be unlocked some of which are other rooms.

She makes her way to the fourth floor, changes uniform, notices there are spots of yellow in her irises (which are normally brown), then proceeds to leave the employee only floors (third and fourth) and skedaddles to the second floor which has a locked staircase as nearly all the doors in this building require a key card.

I will not be going into much detail about the second floor however, it is a living area for patients and has some bookcases that have books and brochures.

The low, somewhat raspy voice of someone catches her attention as they ask her who she is, she introduces herself and they introduce themselves. This is where Braylen is introduced, he is a patient in the Sanctuary and is implied to be a trans guy (this is canon it's just never outright said within the story.) There is no yellow present in his eyes which shows that he hasn't had any treatment yet. Levee states her confusion which causes her to giggle and it makes Braylen uneasy but he tells her the information that he knows about the place.

Braylen states that the place was in fact a real hospital back in the 2000s owned by a man called Doctor Thomas Lukes however the doctor calls it a "Sanctuary."

Levee thanks him for the information and then proceeds to continue her exploration throughout the Sanctuary. She finds the cafeteria on the first floor and there are a couple people sitting at tables some of which are employees. Then a voice calls out to her.

It's Lance, who is sitting at a table in the back of the cafeteria. The two are both in shock at seeing each other and Lance had scratches on his face which would have concerned Levee if it wasn't for her emotions being messed up. She greets him in a cheery manner and sits down by him.

They have a discussion and Lance, being the theme park enthusiast that he is, compares the place to the Alton Towers Smiler roller coaster lore. He actually goes on to explain the similarities and brings up the fact that there had been previous rumors of the Smiler being based off of real events or that the backstory was real.

Levee is completely weirded out and quite frankly thinks he's being stupid, she tells him he's not making much sense and then comes to the conclusion that he was trying to make light of the dark situation. They continue speaking some more and eventually Levee tells Lance to stop talking about the Smiler.

Levee then remembers her brother, Archie, and begins to worry about him to which Lance slowly states to her that he thinks Archie is in the Sanctuary too.

Levee does not take this too kindly but her rage is dulled however she still shouts at Lance asking what he means to which he then stupidly asks why she's panicking and she states that she's not but doesn't know what she's feeling.

Lance asks her a question.

"Does it feel like your emotions are just barely there and for some reason you're happy?”

Levee says yes with no hesitation as that is exactly how she was feeling. Lance is feeling this way too.

They continue talking and then Levee brings Lance up to the second floor to speak to Braylen who is sitting on a sofa reading a book that had no title and instead had a smiley face in the form of "=)" on the cover. Braylen then reveals that the book is fifteen pages long (albeit not numbered) and every single page consists of that same smiley face from top to bottom. It's not very important but goes to show this place is odd.

All three are weirded out but put the book aside. Lance and Levee ask Braylen if he has seen or knows anything about Archie. He states that Archie's appearance sounds familiar and that he saw employees (or at least, ones that looked very different and had metal armor) drag him to padded cells on the first floor.

Braylen also states it was nighttime and he wasn't supposed to be out of his room but decided to snoop around anyway and witnessed the scene.

They thank Braylen for his help and proceed to go back to the first floor and find the cells he was talking about. There are twenty in total and the two find Archie inside the fifteenth one that they investigate.

When Levee sees her brother inside the cell, she is quick to unlock it and go inside. Archie is sitting on the floor with red pinprick marks and bruising on his neck and alongside this his hands are wrapped in bandages that have light spots of blood that had seeped through.

The two siblings hug and Levee apologizes for Archie getting into this situation. Much like Levee and Lance, Archie can't remember how he was kidnapped. They exit the cell and speak with each other to which Archie explains a story very similar to the one Braylen shared.

Archie had woken up in his room and instantly panicked, leaving it and stumbling into two people who are later revealed to be apart of a subgroup in the Sanctuary called "The Ones Beyond the Walls." He explains that they saw him and grabbed onto him to which he tried to fight back and in the process destroyed his knuckles on the metal vests they were wearing before he was sedated and brought to a cell.

Levee takes note of his hands and suggests that they change the bandages. Lance knows where there's an infirmary and brings them to it and there is a somewhat gruesome description of Archie's knuckles. Lance cleans the wounds and wraps them in fresh bandages.

They all leave the infirmary and make their way to the cafeteria and discuss the situation for the umpteenth time. In the middle of their discussion, a young woman walks up and stands behind Archie. She introduces herself as Isa. Levee and Archie take note of one of her most unsettling features which is the fact that she has scars starting from the corners of her mouth going along the sides of her face.

(Lance had already met Isa so it wasn't as shocking to him.)

Isa states that she overheard the group of three's conversation and that she had information she could give that might help answer some questions.

...

But unfortunately, this is where I stopped writing.

Don't worry though! Like I said, I am going to talk about general lore and what I had planned including the ending.

---

So, Doctor Lukes' Sanctuary is the name of the hospital our main characters are held captive in. Despite what Levee kept thinking (it not being a real hospital) she is pretty much wrong because it was and technically still is a "real" hospital however it is not at all a professional one. Originally opening in 1999, this psychiatric hospital was operated by Professor Jasper Edmunds and Doctor Thomas Lukes, their hospital was open until 2011 where it closed permanently with no explanation.

Throughout the 2000s, this hospital was controversial and facing lawsuits in regards to abuse of its patients in there for treatment of their mental illnesses. However, they were dropped. This mostly took place in 2005. Professor Edmunds left shortly after this which meant Doctor Lukes was on his own with maintaining most things. In 2009, the hospital would once again face legality issues in regards to two murders that had happened. And finally, in 2011, the hospital was closed and nobody ever heard from Doctor Lukes again.

This is the more detailed form of the information Isa was going to tell the three if I had written past her introduction, I promise it wasn't gonna be a big info dump within the story lol, it was gonna be more spread out. Also, the Sanctuary info is similar to what Braylen had said. Isa was also going to go into a quick explanation on joy serum and laughing gas used in that place which answers the question on why everyone tends to be calm and strangely happy. (Obviously.)

Throughout the story, Levee and Lance try to uncover the secrets of the Sanctuary and they attempt to make an escape plan while pretty much being under the influence of drugs (joy serum) and doing their "job," of treating the patients. They discover that there had been a reversal serum in the works that would, well, reverse the effects of joy serum however there were many major issues with it. It's used within this story and the effects are shown; primarily aggression.

Who was the original one behind the reversal serum? Professor Edmunds, and then Doctor Lukes proceeded to try and complete it but was facing difficulties. And why was there a reversal serum? Because of withdrawal from not having injections of joy serum for a long period of time, it'd only get worse and worse so this was put in place to completely flush out the joy serum in a way. (Side note: Drug withdrawal is a major issue with the joy serum in this universe and it's especially shown with Isa who is constantly relying on even the smallest dose.) However, as said before, the reversal serum had serious issues with it.

So, what was Doctor Lukes' motive in taking a bunch of hostages ("patients/employees")?

Well, it changes in the timeline.

After the hospital had been shut down and with all of the legality issues, the place pretty much became abandoned and not only that but he lost a majority of his research and everything. He's stubborn and did not try and reach out to another facility or anything like that (they're extremely secretive too) so he took his remaining notes and studies, tried making a new joy serum, kidnapped some people that would later be known as "The Ones Beyond the Walls," and tested on them. Continuously tested on them. And then finally, later on, he wanted to try and reverse things and then give the joy serum again and reverse and... yeah.

Where was he working?

Underground beneath the original hospital. And this is where the main story takes place too. I find the Five Nights at Freddy's song "Below the Surface" quite fitting for this and the original Smiler lore in general (I remember seeing a Smile Always edit with it too so that's where I got that from!) And if you're wondering, "How did no one know he was there?" Well, the general public didn't know. With a lot of abandoned properties, there are still people that own the property and that's the case with Doctor Lukes' Sanctuary. The state people knew allat but not the public, you know? As I said before, these places are secretive.

---

The Ones Beyond the Walls are as the name states: special guard-like previous test subjects that lurk in a part of the Sanctuary that is inaccessible to the normal patients and employees but is very much behind the walls of the normal place. They do what Doctor Lukes tells them to and they lurk about at night. They make sure things are in place and such. They are very calm people that take action when needed.

---

Isa is a major part of the lore. It's revealed that she was the longest serving Sanctuary employee starting from being a patient and it's also revealed that she was Aria Davis from the news article Levee had read early on in the story. Aria was not in a good place and Doctor Lukes had reached out to her and offered her money (one of the only times he was somewhat-legally doing this shit) if she'd participate in his experiments/clinical trials and after a while she then got sick of it to which he then forcibly kidnapped her.

As a patient, Aria had gotten her face cut into a smile by an old employee who she later murdered as revenge and stole their identity (hence the name, Isa.) Due to the murder, she was put through a lot of "treatment," until she was left as who she is; an unhinged, overjoyed, snarky woman who seemed as though she was going to help but was instead absolutely hellbent on dragging everyone down with her as she interfered with Levee's and Lance's escape plan. And, she kept the identity of the murdered employee, Isa.

---

There was certainly gonna be filler but also it was gonna show patients and employees getting treatment with joy serum and then the reversal serum being used. Because of the aggression the reversal serum was causing (albeit temporary) the group decided it was best to give it to people and keep them in the "special" cells that had been mentioned earlier.

Eventually, Isa gets the reversal serum injected into her and since she has been under the influence of joy serum for a long time, it doesn't go too well and she is furious and tries to kill Lance who had injected it. She fails and once she somewhat calms down, she struggles to cope with the feeling of not being in a constant state of joy. She experiences withdrawal extremely quickly and this is one of the faults of the reversal serum however it shouldn't have lasted too long.

Isa still tries to interfere with the plan and eventually she kills Doctor Lukes which wasn't apart of the other two's plan but aids in the escape and when she realizes this, she isn't happy. She isn't happy that the newest group won't go through the Hell she went through and thus she attempts to murder the main group but instead gets it turned around on her and Lance kills her which leaves him guilt stricken but Levee tries to reassure him that it was for the best.

‐--

Finally, we get to the ending. The ending is a decent one and although a majority of the facility inhabitants are killed along the way (by Isa and eventually she herself was killed too), nine out of thirty people (patients and employees) escape and this doesn't include TOBW. Levee, Lance, Braylen, and Archie make it out safely albeit very much changed and still having the after effects of the reversal serum. I did in fact write out the epilogue before most of the other things because that is a habit of mine with writing.

So, the epilogue goes something like this...

Two months pass since the events of Smile Hell and our three main characters are trying to return to their normal lives. Braylen, who was cut off by his family before the events, moves in with Lance's family since he has nowhere else to go. Levee's paranoia is very slowly starting to go away and she starts leaving her house more often. It is stated that after escaping, the group had told all they could to the police and it opened a full blown investigation on the grounds of the Sanctuary and they ended up finding bodies buried far behind the hospital.

And yes, the main group gets well needed therapy after all this Hell they've been through lol

Levee, Lance, and Braylen are all out shopping in the town square before they visit Koda's grave which is their plan for the day. Levee sits down on a bench and waits for the men who are inside a store and there is another bench across from her. Someone sits down on it and they're wearing a mask and sunglasses (which she finds odd as it's not very sunny) but she tries not to think much of it before going onto her phone to pass the time.

The stranger across from her giggles which catches her attention and so she glances up and notices their sunglasses are off. Her heart just about skips a beat when she realizes that they have one yellow eye that was fading and one normal eye (implication that this is someone from the Sanctuary.) This obviously makes her highly uneasy and she prays to whoever is listening that her friends would hurry up so they could leave.

Eventually they appear and they don't pay much attention to the person across from her, they all leave but Levee looks behind her to see that the mysterious stranger now had their mask down and was smiling, but not in the unsettling, forced Smiler sense; it was a sincere smile that pretty much said "Thank you." Not only that, but they had very faded scars present on their face. Levee does not recognize them at all before she realized the possibility of them being one of the Ones Beyond the Walls. She gives them a quick thumbs up and a nod before walking off with Lance and Braylen, off to visit Koda's grave at the cemetery.

And that's all, that is the end of it all.

---

Thank you so much if you read this whole thing! I very much appreciate it, I've been working on this lore for roughly two years but never really shared it with people until now.

If I ever do go back to this project and decide to continue the story I think there would be changes but for now this is the "settled in stone," lore of Smile Hell. I don't really know what my inspirations were for this exactly but obviously the general Smiler lore and what the community has come up with. Also I love stories that involve secret organizations and medical stuff like that. There are certainly things that I find unfitting but for my sake and everyone else's sake, I'm not going to critique my own lore for now.

Once again, thank you very much if you read this entire post, I hope it was interesting!!

—

and here's a meme before I go which sums up all of this /j

#the smiler #smiler #ministry of joy #the ministry of joy #alton towers #olive's ocs #olive's stories #smile hell #info dump #writing #but it's more just a summary #and a super fucking long post sob

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areyoudreaminof · 1 year

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A Quiet Dreamer: An Elain Archeron Playlist

Here is the long in the works Elain playlist! I was too scared to post it because I didn't think anyone would be interested. But now, I don't care! Music is magic and sensory. Elain is light and kindness, life and power. She's got so much to offer. Listen here! And come take a lyrical deep dive on the tracklist behind the cut!

Oh, What a World-Kacey Musgraves

Northern lights in our skies Plants that grow and open your mind Things that swim with a neon glow How we all got here, nobody knows

These are real things These are real things

Oh, what a world, don't wanna leave All kinds of magic all around us, it's hard to believe

Helplessness Blues-Fleet Foxes

If I know only one thing, it's that everything that I see Of the world outside is so inconceivable Often, I barely can speak Yeah, I'm tongue-tied and dizzy And I can't keep it to myself What good is it to sing helplessness blues? Why should I wait for anyone else? And I know, I know you will keep me on the shelf I'll come back to you someday soon myself

When I'm Asleep-Jesca Hoop

With every beat my heart's skipping You'll know what I'm made of I keep light on and the bed warm Shelter from the storm and I'm keepin' our love

Victory Dance-My Morning Jacket

Should I close my eyes and prophesize Hoping maybe someday come? Should I wet the ground with my own tears Crying over what's been done? Should I lift the dirt and plant the seed Even though I've never grown? Should I wet the ground with the sweat from my brow And believe in my good work?

Hey there, I'm flying up above Looking down on the tired earth I can see, I can see potential

My Body is a Cage-Arcade Fire

I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow

My body is a cage that keeps me From dancing with the one I love But my mind holds the key

I Speak Because I Can-Laura Marling

I speak because I can To anyone I trust enough to listen You speak because you can To anyone who'll hear what you say

The Bug Collector- Haley Heyndrickx

Oh, and I digress 'Cause I must make you the perfect morning And I try my best To prove that nothing's out to get you

Morning Sun-Dave Bixby

The sun in the morning The new day is dawning Look out your window And see yourself walking Through fields of love And the sky up above Is with you

Queen of Peace-Florence + The Machine

Oh, the queen of peace Always does her best to please It isn't any use Somebody's gotta lose

Atomic Number-case/lang/veirs

I'm not the freckled maid I'm not the fair-hair girl I'm not a pan of milk for you to spoil Why are the wholesome things The ones we make obscene?

Red Heart-LAYLA

I'm all stolen, curious Bright, oblivious Eluding gravity I'm a super-realist Absurd thrill for this life I see I've got a red heart I've got a gold spark

I Will Love Again-Bat For Lashes

One of these nights One of these days I will love again Oh, I was a deer in the lights I was lost in the waves But I will love again

Heartbeat-VÉRITÉ

Can you feel my heartbeat Pounding into nothing? Broken bones are floating In my empty body Can you feel it reaching Moving through the feeling?

Flowers-Anais Mitchell

Dreams are sweet until they’re not Men are kind until they aren’t Flowers bloom until they rot and fall apart Is anybody listening? I open my mouth and nothing comes out Nothing Nothing gonna wake me now

Flowers, I remember fields Of flowers, soft beneath my heels Walking in the sun

Into the Surf-Foals

There's a lighthouse in the dark, a garden in the past Under bruisings of a night sky Be like water, when I rise Plant a jasmine in the night

Dreams-Fleetwood Mac

Like a heartbeat drives you mad In the stillness of rememberin' What you had and what you lost And what you had and what you lost

Third Eye-Florence + the Machine

Hey, look up You don't have to be a ghost Here amongst the living You are flesh and blood And you deserve to be loved And you deserve what you are given And oh, how much? 'Cause there's a hole where your heart lies And I can see it with my third eye

#elain archeron #acotar playlist #Elain #pro elain #pro elain archeron #Spotify #acotar playlist project

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deepseavibez · 3 years

Text

A Star In Your Sky || JJK

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-> Picture Source - Pinterest

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A Star In Your Sky [Jungkook]

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Genre - Dad!Jungkook; Angst; Sadness; Melancholy; Drabble:

Summary - Helpless as he was, 'what you didn't know couldn't hurt you'... it would have to do. There was nothing else he could do.

Warning - Angst; Sadness; Major Character Death;

Word Count - 1.7k

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Jungkook woke up with a start at the blaring alarm. 5am - his phone flashed in red numbers. Snoozing it, he left it back on the table.

The fog on the windows signifying a cold morning, the dreary grey clouds overcast, the edge of dawn.

Wiping the sleep out of his eyes he righted his shirt, pulling his sleeves over his cold hands, ruffling his hair as he stretched his limbs and swung them over the couch.

The cold hit his bare feet as he stood up and started his way down the hall, switching the lights on as he walked, to navigate his way to the room right next to his.

Door slightly ajar, he pushed on it, the slight creak a normal sound, a part of the surroundings, the many years behind the action of tuning it out.

His eyes fell past the threshold, items he knew by heart, colors he had committed to memory, the scent and the surroundings - his home.

The curtains in this room were purple, deep purple, the hue something akin to indigo, silver moons and stars shone at the catch of even the tiniest bit of light.

There were posters of cartoons, drawings in crayons and paints, a basket of toys in the corner of the room, and Cooky, the pink plush toy staring back on the made bed.

Eyes scanning the toy he remembered the day it came home.

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'Dad, look what Uncle Jinnie got me,' Moon ran up to him, as she giggled in excitement, eyes lighting up at the plush toy in her hand.

Turning toward the sound of his daughter, he bent down on one knee so she could hop into his waiting arms. He held her easily, her form tiny and stable in his muscled hands.

Her momentary glance to the tattoo on his skin, a second nature, something that made her smile, as her name had been carved into his forearm, stars surrounding it with a Saturn ring.

She was Daddy's little girl and she loved every moment of it.

Meeting her fathers eyes, she held up the pink bunny in her arms, a prize worth every drop of attention he could give.

Smiling bemused he asked her, 'What about all the other teddy's in your room, babygirl?'

He nosed at her cheek as he teased her.

Her eyes went as wide as saucers, 'Dad!' she exclaimed in a mock whisper, 'They aren't Teddy's, they all have names.'

'Yeah, Jk, how can you call them Teddy's,' Jin played along, just as scandalized at his dongsaengs choice of words.

Mouth twitching, the mole on his chin, shifting at the movement, he raised an eyebrow at his hyung, 'I'm surprised you didn't get her the RJ.'

'Now, now, I did explain the perks of having RJ, but she is Daddy's little girl.' They smiled, endeared with the toddler between them.

It was the last proper, happy outing they had, ice-cream, feeding the seagulls, playing in the sand, her best days with her father and her Uncle Jin.

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‘I don't care what happens to me, I don’t care about the money! Just please save my baby, please!’ Jungkook was enraged, angry at the world, helpless, desperate.

Stage 4. She was only a child, her tiny body fit in his arms, her form only half of him.

It came out of nowhere, severe bruising and bleeding when she fell down, or got cut. Trouble breathing when she ran, nausea when she ate and sometimes not wanting to eat at all. Waking up to her cries in the middle of the night, sniffling quietly, at the pains in her body.

Too many symptoms, too many blood tests later, too many restless, sleepless nights, she was diagnosed with leukemia.

There were weeks of waiting for results, test after test, of having to sit her in his lap, and explain why she needed to see countless doctors and that things would get better, that it was just for now.

But as he stood opposite her doctor, his hyung holding his shoulder, he had to go home and tell her he lied. He lied.

He'd have to tell her that there was no turning back, and if it was too late for his daughter, the love of his life, the very center of his world, for him, there would be no way forward.

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He stood at the doorway of her hospital room, having just gone home to change up and get her favorite mac and cheese. The sight he met every single time, not something he had gotten used to, despite the number of weeks he’d been at the forefront of it all.

The tubes along her face, her nose, in her arms, something a baby should never have to go through. A parent should never have to think about outliving their child. It wasn’t the cycle. It wasn’t fair.

She deserved, to hit double digits, to find love, to have him fight the need to protect her from every mistake, to always be there for her, she deserved friends, memories, the chance to discover hobbies, she deserved more time.

The saddest part was that she was too young to think of any of those things, and yet, maybe it could also be a blessing.

What you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you, right.

Blinking back tears he plastered a fake smile on his face, the brightest one he felt he could muster. ‘Hey, babygirl.’

She looked up, a small smile, slowly making its way up her cheeks, her face pale. Opening her mouth to speak, he shook his head at her. ‘No, no, shh, baby, don’t hurt your throat.’

Making his way over to her bed, he gingerly climbed in next to her, the nurses used to his presence, the doctors having no objection considering the care he had with her as he slotted himself protectively over her.

Pecking her on the head, he took note of the scrapbook in her hand. She looked at it everyday, pictures of her six loving uncles, Taehyung plaiting her hair, Jimin showing her tiny jewelry pieces, stick-ons for her ears, Namjoon with a bunch of block letters, a tower of it clearly having collapsed around them. Her Uncle Hobi always made her smile, as he had her on his back and his neck, walked her around the apartments like he was her personal chauffeur, Yooni holding her as she slept, light music playing in the background, and her Uncle Jin, her favourite Uncle Jin, always around, choosing school bags, spoiling her with anything she wanted, anything that caught her eye, especially morning blueberry waffles and her dad, Jungkook, her dad, the youngest, the one with the most time, the most allowance to make reckless decisions, the one who adapted his whole life around her inclusion in his life.

‘Hey, remember the story of your first birthday,’ His voice exuberant at her cake covered face,’when you didn’t want to wear the red jacket Uncle Tae gave you, and you cried for his instead,’ he petted her head as he searched her face for recognition.

She pouted at the mention of it, the story recounted so many times before,’Uncle Tae’s jacket was purple, Dad. How could I not want it,’ Her cheekiness earned her a light flick to her nose.

She upturned it crossly, a little zest in her eyes at the familiar chastising.

They paused, looking at each other, before the smile slowly disappeared from her face, the reaction apparently contagious as Jungkook sat up in concern. ‘Dad,’ she started softly, her eyes trained on the blanket covering her legs, ’are you gonna forget me?’

Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat at the innocent question, striving to show no reaction on his face. Moving swiftly, he worked his way around the cables and maneuvered her into his lap. They tried, he tried, and she had been so strong but even at her tender age she knew it, he knew it, the time for sugar coated words, and false hopes were over, acceptance was all that was left.

‘Close your eyes,’ he prompted, wiping tears he could no longer hold back, away from his eyes.‘Can you see me?’

‘My eyes-,’

‘No, keep them closed, can you see me,’ he reiterated, beside himself.

‘No, I can’t see you.’

‘But you can hear me right,’ taking note of her face, her nose, her cute cheeks, he waited for her answer.

‘Yes, I can hear you.’

‘Well,’ he sniffled, head falling against her forehead lightly, the contact needed, ’that’s what it will be like. I will always be here for you. I will always talk to you, and I promise,’ his hand found hers and squeezed it, ’I will never forget you. You may not see me and I may not see you, but you will always be the biggest part of me. And I promise, I will never, ever, forget you.’

He broke at his last words, pulling her into his embrace, holding his Moon, wishing with everything he had left, he would never have to let her go.

Moon passed that night, in her sleep, in his arms, as painless as it could possibly be. Knowing what was going to happen, couldn’t have prepared Jungkook for the real thing. But he knew he had to let go of her lifeless body, he knew he had to call the one person who could handle him or whatever came next for him, and as soon as he saw his Jin hyung, the one that named his perfect girl, he fell into his arms and cried, as his heart shattered into pieces.

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Standing at doorways were his thing these days, he thought, everything he did was not enough, not too much, like sitting on the fence, falling in the middle.

It had been a year, but he couldn’t clean out this room, he still woke up at 5am despite his flexible job because he had to take care of her routine, maybe someday he would have to stop coming in here, but right now, the made bed, the unused room, the stillness of it all, would remind him that even for a time, he had something beautiful, something worth all that pain, a human that he would meet someday again.

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#bts #bts jk #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #jk #bts angst #bts drabble #bts writing #jungkook angst #bts sad #jungkook #bts au #bts au fic #bts aus #bts au fanfic #bts fic

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racheloveyunho · 3 years

Text

Till death do us part - 4

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess, bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, smut, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 1883

TW series: Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug, kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

TW chapter: Obsessive behavior (from Y/N’s and San’s side), threats, swearing and a hint of jealousy.

Here it was, the silhouette I liked the most

"San..."

He hugged me tightly as if there was no tomorrow. I noticed how he was sweaty and out of breathe, probably from running to get to me faster.

I breathed in his unique scent, it was woody scent, something fresh but still manly. I felt safer with him, everything was easier when he was by my side. I didn't want to let him go and my feelings seemed mutual as he tightened his grip on my waist.

I was like a piece of metal attracted to a magnet.

We sat down on the bed and he let me cry my heart out, listening every word I had to say. I told him my story, my conflictual relationship with my father, how harsh he was with me and my brother since my mom passed away and my arranged wedding with this Hwang Jinyoung.

We talked for two good hours about my problems but also about the future we both wanted.

As time went on, I started to feel sleepy, my eyelids were heavy and my mind was cloudy. I slowly closed my eyes until I fell into a deep sleep into San's arms. He gently patted my head to help me fall asleep.

"Don't worry Y/N, I will protect you from now on."

San hummed a song before falling asleep by Y/N’s side.

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Chapter 4

I woke up in the same room I felt asleep on. The unusual walls made my heart ache at the thought of what had happened between my father and I. I knew deep inside me that there will be no turning back with my relationship with him but strangely enough, i didn't feel bad about it, I was more concerned about my brother than anything.

"Did you sleep well?"

I looked up and was greeted by this angelical face of his. San was laying on the same bed as me, one of his muscular arm holding my frame tightly. I smiled back and hide my face on his chest, smelling his addictive scent at the same time.

"I did."

It was a weird feeling. I knew almost nothing of San, I met him three times and still... I felt as if I could give him my whole body and soul. I couldn't help but think about what my mom told me when I was still a child.

"Someday you will find someone you can rely on, someone who doesn't need words to know how you feel, someone who understand and cherish you as the most precious thing in the world. You will find this person one day Y/N, I'm sure of it."

My lips came upward in a smile as I remembered my mom's word, they had a new meaning to me since I met San.

His grip tightened a little around me while his other hand was busy, gently petting my hair.

"You are acting like a boyfriend"

"Do you like it?"

"Very much" I smiled, looking fondly at him and before I knew it, San leaned on and kissed me slightly.

His lips felt like feather, there was nothing but sweetness and love in this kiss, his right hand cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb against the soft skin.

When our lips finally moved apart, I looked up to meet his - oh so lovely - gaze.

"You are so beautiful"

"Say the man whom is beauty itself" I giggled softly.

This moment was almost perfect - almost.

My mind was quick to remember about the bitterness of the situation I was in. I looked down sadly, avoiding San's intrigued eyes.

A lot of questions were running on my mind. What will happen from now on? I was still minor and my dad was stubborn, he would never let me escape from his grasp so easily. How will I survive? I didn't even had enough money to stay on this hotel for more than a week.

Unconsciously, I sighed heavily. San took my chin between his thumb and his index and lift my face towards his.

"What is it?" San asked me in a whisper.

"Did you bring your phone with you? I have to call Hana, she must be worried."

After a few seconds, he nodded and gave me his phone. I entered the familiar number and quickly enough, Hana's voice was heard through the phone.

"Y/N!! Is everything okay? I was worried sick! I thought you were coming early in the morning?" Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. I frowned my eyebrows. She was whispering yelling and it was odd since she was always a loud girl.

"Sorry, I didn't wake up. Why are you this quiet?" I suspiciously asked.

"Y/N, I don't think you should come here, your father was there one hour ago and he was beyond furious! He threatened me and my family, saying that he will ruin our lives if he find out we are hiding you from him!" She cried out.

This sentence came before a long and heavy silence where no one dared to talk. My mind was processing this new information while my heart was scolding me for bringing my best friend and her family into a delicate situation.

San was quietly listening to our conversation, his right hand on top of mine while his thumb was gently rubbing the back of my hand..

"I'm so sorry Hana... I didn't mean to bring you into this mess..." I lowered my voice, guilt eating me alive.

"Hey sweety... It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong but... I don't think this is a good idea to go against your father will. He is really scary."

"Are you telling me to came back home and let my father do everything he wants with me?" My throat felt suddenly dry and my heart heavy in my chest.

No answer.

I knew she was just afraid of what could possibly happen to her and her family, she just wanted to protect her loved ones. However, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. She knew how my father was and how hard it was for me to handle this situation.

"I see. Don't worry for me, I'm gonna find a way." I finally stated with the coldest voice I could muster. I didn't let her the time to give an answer and hung up right away.

I stayed silent for a while and so did San.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally looked up at him and sighed with a small smile "Thank you for what you did to me. I owe you one"

"Why are you talking as if you are going somewhere?" he arched his eyebrows before leaning close to me with his signature smirk of his "I'm not planning to let you go away from me, love."

I gasped in surprise "L-love?" I asked stuttering, embarrassed by this sudden pet name.

"Why are you embarrassed about? We just kissed a few minutes ago"

I avoided his gaze and coughed slightly to get rid of the awkwardness "I can't stay here San... You will be in trouble if my dad find out you helped me and I don't want it to happen."

This time, it was San's turn to sight.

"Y/N. Listen to me. I will let you two choices" I frowned but stayed silent to let him continue "You don't know who I am but I can help you. However I won't take you with me if you don't want to. It's up to you. Do you want to stay with me, where I'll promise to keep you safe by my side, or do you want to go back and be toyed your entire life by your father against your own will?"

Silence again.

His face was serious and his voice demanding, It actually made me think I couldn't choose the latter choice - not that I wanted to choose this option anyway.

"Why are you doing this.. I mean, we don't know much about each other and-"

"Kim Y/N, born in Seoul the 25th September 1999 at 3:48. You like horror movies and all kind of sweets, your mother passed away the 4th June and since then, your father had changed completely, leaving you and your brother behind" San said, never breaking visual contact with me "You are the student with the best grades on your class and you are the teacher's favorite and even though you want to attend the prestigious Seoul national college, you don't know what to do in your life yet"

I was astonished, how did he get all his information?

As if on cue, he slipped a hand in my hair "It's been two years now Y/N, no one know you as much as I do. I know every single details about you but now, I don't want to look at your life from far away, I want to be apart of it" He smiled but frowned as I slowly stepped away from him "were you stalking me all this time?" I asked, heart beating fast.

"Come on, I know you are as obsessed over me as I am over you" He laughed before standing up and quickly doing his hair while looking his own reflect on the mirror “I was there every time you talked to your friend about me”

I watched his every move and couldn’t find anything to say. No matter how crazy it sounded, I knew he was right.

"And how are you gonna help me?"

"Your dad isn't all white, quite the contrary" He said "I know enough to tell him to let you be" He added.

"Are you going to... threaten him?" I looked at him through the mirror.

"Why? You don't want me to?" He smiled at me, his back still facing me.

I took a deep breathe.

"No... He deserves it"

He turned around and came closer to me with the widest smirk.

"So... Are you coming with me?"

I watched as the landscape kept changing from outside the window. The spacious car was moving in slow pace in a part of Seoul I never went in.

I knew it was the beginning of something new but everything seemed so unreal, the only thing that kept me back to reality was the warmth of San's hand intertwining with mine.

I quickly take a glance at the driver, his sharp nose and strong eyes made him look cold, a perfect contrast with his tanned skin. I was surprised by how young he was, probably not much older than San and I and obviously both of them were getting along with each other.

I was so focus on looking at the man and wondering who he was to San that I didn't took notice of my staring until I felt San squeezing my hand.

"Y/N...I'm not sure of how I feel about you looking at another man" He pouted cutely to grab my attention back to him. I laughed lowly and gave him a apologetic look "I'm not sure how I feel about you being jaleous while we are not in an official relationship yet" I smirked at him.

"The kiss wasn't official enough for you?" He smirked back "should I give you an other one then? " He asked, his face coming closer to mine.

His lips ghosted over mine but we were interrupted by a loud cough before we could properly touch each other.

"Please San, can you keep your hands for yourself until you both are alone? I don't especially want to see you guys kiss in the back seat of my car" The driver said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Look who is talking" San scoffed "Should I remind you how many times you made out with your girlfriend in front of me?"

The older man let out a dry laugh, his eyes still on the road.

After a few minutes of a comfortable silencex the driver looked at me from the front mirror.

"Your name is Y/N, right?"

"Yes... And you are..?"

"I'm Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa" He said "I'm glad to meet you, San wouldn't shut up and talk about you every fucking day" He laughed, earning another loud scoff from San.

"Watch your mouth, you are older but I'm still the boss here" San growled.

Suddenly, the car stopped abruptly.

"We safely came back to your home sir~" Seonghwa politely stated, not without a hint of teasing in his voice.

San pulled me out of the car, hand still holding mine firmly. I followed him and looked up at the huge mansion in front of us.

My mouth fell agape, this place was way bigger than mine.

"Welcome to your new house" San smiled.

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We are finally starting to introduce the others members!

Also this chapter is a bit shorter, I didn’t even noticed until I checked the number of words but I thought it was better this way, there was nothing to add since the next chapter was already done lol.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!

See you next time~

Tag list:

@hijirikaww @pinkchampagne2 @xduygu-arsx @joongiebug @leicy0756

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im-in-love-with-pizza-bites · 3 years

Text

I Loved Her First

Bucky Barnes X Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker X Barnes!Reader

Summary: He was enough for you not long ago he was your number one, you told him so and you still mean the world to him

Warnings: none that I know of, fluff, meaningless threats father's give to their daughters boyfriend.

Song: I Loved Her First By Heartland

Look at the two of you dancin' that way lost in the moment and each other's face so much in love, you're alone in this place like there's nobody else in the world

You stared at Peter as you danced around the dance floor. Just a couple of hours after you got married. You guys met in high school, you both went to the same school. Then when he got the stark internship you guys hung out a lot more. Eventually, you started dating and your dad was against it but didn't stop it.

I was enough for her not long ago I was her number one, she told me so

"Daddy why do we have to move in with the avengers?" You asked, 10 years old. Him and Steve were able to convince Tony to let him and you move into the tower. You didn't want to though. You liked living with just your dad. Sure you didn't like living on the run but you like it just being you and him.

"Because Uncle Steve got us this opportunity and we need it Doll." Bucky said, watching you adjust your bag. "And I think you'll like having company, a lady figure in your life?"

"No, I only need you, daddy! You're my number one and I don't need a lady figure in my life!" You said pouting.

"Enough doll."

And she still means the world to me, just so you know so be careful when you hold my girl

Bucky sighed as he walked into your room, you and Peter on the bed asleep cuddling. He didn't like it, he missed being the only guy you needed. He wouldn't admit it but Peter was a good guy and he liked him but he didn't like that he was stealing his little girl. He grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed, and draped it over the two of you.

"Good night doll." He kissed the top of your head. He looked at Peter. He really had to resist the urge to move you away from him. He left the room leaving you two to sleep but he kept the door open.

Time changes everything, life must go on and I'm not gonna stand in your way

"Peter what's wrong?" Bucky asked as Peter bounced his leg nervously. Peter was there to ask for his blessing. He didn't have to do this of course, it's a bit old fashioned and rare that men ask for their girl's father's blessing but he knew Bucky was old fashioned coming from the 40s and he hoped Bucky would appreciate it. "Spit it out kid."

"Canihaveyourblessingtomarryy/n!" Peter rushed out looking anywhere but your father.

"You're gonna have to slow down I couldn't understand you." Bucky said. He caught a few words and other words sounded wrong so he heard, "can I have your lessing bury y/n." And he was really confused.

"Can I have your blessing to." Peter froze taking a deep breath. "Propose to y/n." Bucky sighed in relief.

"Yeah kid." Bucky nodded.

"I thought you hated me?" Peter blurted out in confusion.

"I don't hate you. Just don't forget I loved her first, she's my baby girl I won't hesitate to kill you if you hurt her." Bucky said.

"And I'd help!" Sam said as he walked through the common room.

"Yes sir. Mr. Barnes and Mr. Wilson."

But I loved her first, I held her first and a place in my heart will always be hers

Bucky walked into his newest apartment. He's on the run he doesn't stay one place long. The apartment was dirty, rough looking but he didn't care. He heard whimpering coming from the kitchen. He took slow cautious steps toward it, he saw nothing but the sobs and whimpers got louder. He opened all the cupboards before he spotted a four year old girl.

"You okay little lady?" Bucky leaned down doing his best to seem less scary. You looked at him and nodded.

"Daddy?" You asked looking at him tears in your eyes.

"No, I'm not your daddy... Doll what's your name?" He asked you. You sobbed.

"Y/n... Where's daddy? He said he would be right back!" You crawled out of the cupboard and hugged him sobbing. He tensed patting your back with his right hand hesitantly.

From the first breath she breathed when she first smiled at me I knew the love of a father runs deep

It's been a few days since he found you. He didn't know what to do, you were attached to his hip. You had to be near him. For some reason it comforted him. You didn't know what he did, didn't know his past. You saw him and felt safe. He didn't think that anyone would feel safe around him.

"Mister Bucky! Can I get a teddy?" You asked as the two of you walked through the market. You both had "disguises" on. You had a hood and sun glasses, while he had a baseball cap and sunglasses. Bucky looked toward where you were pointing, it was across the street at a thrift store. In the window was a teddy bear in a captain America suit. He looked at the money he had. Deciding he could spend a couple extra dollars on the bear he nodded.

"Sure doll. Come on." He looked down at you and you were smiling.

"Thank you!!"

And I prayed that she'd find you someday but it's still hard to give her away I loved her first

Life settled down for you and your dad when you moved into the tower. It gave him a chance to worry about the normal stuff dads worry about. Whether you were passing school, or if you were bullied. Most importantly he worried you wouldn't find a good guy, it's not as though you cared. You found boys gross, then again it was just the age you were at. He could only hope you'd find a good one.

How could that beautiful woman with you be the same freckle face kid that I knew

You walked out of the room you and your bridesmaids were getting ready in to see your dad and the groomsmen. Your dad smiled sadly.

"You look so beautiful doll." He said.

"Thank you dad." You giggled.

The one that I read all those fairytales to and tucked into bed all those nights

You couldn't sleep without a story. He didn't know any when he found you. He would tuck you into his side and a tell you what he remembered about life in the forties. Just the good stuff though. Before you even met Steve you believed him to be the coolest person ever.

"Okay stories over sleep." He rolled to his side.

And I knew the first time I saw you with her it was only a matter of time

You walked into the common room after F.R.I.D.A.Y alerted you that there was someone for you to meet. You were confused to see your friend from school, who you had a crush on was standing there.

"Peter?" You asked. Everyone looked at you.

"Y/n! What are you doing here?" Peter asked you smiled.

"I live here what are you doing here?"

"He's my intern... How do you two know each other?" Tony asked.

"School."

Bucky watched as you and Peter started talking and laughing ignoring the others. He knew guys and girls could be friends, but he had a feeling this wasn't the case.

I loved her first, I held her first and a place in my heart will always be hers

Bucky picked you up, grabbing your bag, lifting your hood before he left the apartment. You were asleep, but you guys had to move again. He just decided to carry you instead of waking you up. It's been two years since you came into his life, your 6 now.

"Daddy? What's going on?" You whined shuffling in his arms.

"We're moving again doll. Go back to sleep." He said as he walked up to a train station. You nodded resting your head on his shoulder once again. Once on the train he sat you on the seat putting a blanket that came with the seat over you.

From the first breath she breathed when she first smiled at me I knew the love of a father runs deep

"Daddy! Can I do to the park?" You pointed at a park asking to go play.

"Yeah keep your hat and sunglasses on though doll." He said walking over with you before sitting on a bench. You didn't need the disguise no one knew who you were. But it made him feel better.

"Okay daddy!" You smiled running over to the park.

And I prayed that she'd find you someday but it's still hard to give her away I loved her first

Bucky linked arms with you as here comes the bride began to play. He looked at you once more doing his best to keep the tears in. The avengers wouldn't let it down if they caught him crying.

"I love you doll." He whispered before you began down the aisle.

From the first breath she breathed when she first smiled at me

"We have an announcement!" You said as you walked into the compound with Peter. "Friday call everyone to the living room please!" You were going to give your dad a shirt to announce this so you had a present. Peter had something for Tony as well.

"Hey doll." Bucky smiled at you giving you a hug as he walked in, Steve and Sam following.

"Hi dad! Sit down!" You said as you hugged Steve, then Sam. Soon everyone was piled on the couch.

"We have things for Mr. Stark and Mr-." Peter began but Bucky game him a look. "And Bucky."

"The why are we here?" Sam asked. "Did you get us something?"

"Uncle Sammy." You said.

"Sorry little Barnes." He gave you a smile. You rolled your eyes, before you and Peter pulled the gifts out and handed them to their respective person.

"Open them at the same time!" Peter said.

Bucky looked at you cautiously before he unwrapped his while Tony opened his. Bucky pulled out a shirt, while won't pulled out a baby onesie.

"Why did you get me a baby onesie? Morgan grew out of these." Tony said.

"Read them."

"The best dad's get promoted to grandpa." Bucky read. "Wait! Your? I'm gonna be a grandfather!"

"Mr. Stark read yours!"

"Ironman is my grandpa. Are you calling me old?" Tony asked.

"Your going to be grandfathers! And you are old."

"Congrats you two." Steve said smiling.

"I'm gonna be their favorite uncle!" Sam exclaimed.

I knew the love of a father runs deep someday you might know what I'm goin' through when a miracle smiles up at you I loved her first

A/n: would tony even be the kid’s grandpa? probably not but whatever.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x daughter!reader #peter parker #peter parker x barnes!reader #tom holland's spiderman #spiderman #stan lee #Sebastian stan #winter soldier #avengers

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kookoobeans · 4 years

Text

Family Date // Gavin

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1,688

Summary: You are suppose to be on a date with Gavin but unexpected visits occur. So you ended up having a 'family date' with twins.

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You are staring at your reflection in the mirror looking satisfied. Gavin has been given a few days off so he decided to ask you on a date. You suggested to go to an amusement park that's why you wake up so early in the morning to get ready. Checking the time, 7:00am, you take a sit on the couch waiting for him. After a few minutes, you heard a knock on your door. Jogging up to open it, you were surprised to see your friend and he twins at your doorsteps.

“Auntie Mommy!” the four-year-old twins hug your waist. You smile and kneel down to hug them back.

“Hey kiddos, miss me?” they both nod kissing each of your cheeks and hug you tighter.

“A lot” Alex, the older one, said.

“Right twinnie?” he nudge his twin sister, Alizzah, to which she nods vigorously.

“We miss you this much.” She then made a big circle with her hands. You laugh and ruffle their hair and they giggle.

“Aww I miss you guys too. But what are you doing here?” you look up to your friend as she gives you an apologetic look.

“Hey, sorry this is so sudden but can you please take care of them for today? I just have an emergency at the office.” She gives you a pleading look. You nod your head in response.

“Sure, go ahead. Leave them to me.” You stand up as you let the kids roam in your apartment. Only noticing how you're dress, her eyes widen.

“Oh I'm so sorry. Are you going somewhere? I should just call someone to be a on day nanny.” She was about to dial a number when you stop her, shaking your head no.

“I’m suppose to have a date with Gavin but I know he wouldn't mind some change of plan. Besides, I won't be at peace if the kids are under someone else's care when I'm actually here.” With your words, she hugs you tight thanking you. She you and the twins goodbye and left. Just as you are about to close the door, your eyes found Gavin looking at you smiling. He has arrived long enough to witness your little talk with your friend. Smiling back at him, you watch as he walks up to you. He hugs you and kiss your forehead.

“Hey, I missed you.” He put his head on top of yours. You close your eyes and nizzle your head in his chest. You can clearly smell his perfume, giving you sense of familiarity.

“I missed you too.” You look up at him. You stayed like that for a while staring at each other. Slowly, he lowers his head, about to kiss your lips. Just as your lips are almost touching, you heard a loud 'eww' behind you. Remembering the twins in your apartment, you quickly pull away from Gavin. You look at the giggling kids, your cheeks heating up.

“Auntie Mommy is kissing a guy.” Alizzah said as she laugh while her brother is pouting and crossing his over his chest.

“What if he's a bad guy?” Alex ask his sister eyeing your man from head to toe. Alizzah pinch his isde making him cry out in pain.

“No he's not, he is obviously her boyfriend. Besides, he's handsome.” She said as she fangirl over Gavin. You steal a glance at the blushing cop beside you. You stifle a laugh, he looks at you and smile a little. Suddenly he speaks.

“I heard you and your friend's talk.” You look at him and reminding yourself that you have to cancel your date today.

“Yeah sorry about that, I just can't say no to her. She's a single mother so I want to help her any way I can. Do you mind if we cancel our date today?” you ask him apologetically. He smile at you and gently pat you head.

“I don't mind. We can still go to the amusement park you know. They'll like it there.” He said as he glance at the kids now arguing whether Gavin is trustworthy or not. You chuckle at them.

“Come on, I'll introduce you.” You hold his hand dragging him to where the kids are. They are both seated on the couch looking at you when you reach the living room.

“Kids this is Gavin my boyfriend and Gavin this is Alizzah and this is Alex.” Alizzah seems so excited to find out the man's name while her brother is still skeptical.

“Uncle Daddy!” Alizzah get off the couch jumping at Gavin who thankfully catch her. He laugh and carefully put her down.

“Hello there Miss.” He squat down and gently pat her head. His amber eyes shows nothing but tenderness. Your heart melts at the sight. You then saw Alex carefully approach Gavin.

“Do you love my Auntie Mommy?” he looks so serious asking, that you can't help but laugh so you cover you mouth with your hand to avoid ruining the atmosphere. Gavin looks like he's taking the kid's words seriously.

“Yes I do Sir.” He address the little guy formally. You cross your arms over your chest full interest in the scene before you.

“Do you have a job to support her?” you raise an eyebrow at the question. You saw Gavin straighten his posture.

“I’m a cop Sir and yes I can support her.” He answered making Alex nod in acknowledgement.

“Do you promise to take good care of her and make her happy?” upon hearing the question, Gavin looks at you then answered.

“I promise to take good care of her and make her happy everyday as long as she allows me to.” He said it so seriously while staring deep into your eyes. You heart is beating so fast. Hearing Gavin's answer and seeing the look in his eyes, the little guy smiles.

“I trust you Uncle Daddy.” He then hugs Gavin and Alizzah rush in to hug them both. You watch the three all cuddle up on the couch.

“Auntie Mommy do you want to join us?” Gavin asks you, eyes shining brightly. You nod and joins them in a hug.

“Sorry we ruined your date.” They both said in unison. You and Gavin share a look. You pinch the twin's cheeks.

“Actually you didn't ruin it. Who wants to go to the amusement park?” you said as you watch their eyes twinkle and raise their hands excitedly. Gavin picks up Alizzah and you hold Alex's hand.

“Let’s go then.” Gavin said as he takes you other hand intertwining it with his. As you arrive at the amusement park, you went to many rides and play different games on every booth. The twins look so happy and so is Gavin. They seem to get closer as they talk with your man nonstop. You start to feel a little jealous but nonetheless you are happy. Soo enough, its pretty late. The four of you are heading home with Gavin carrying a sleeping Alex. You were surprised that the two get along very well. After his interrogation with the cop, he never left Gavin's side. As you arrive at you apartment, Gavin carefully lay Alex in the bed. You and Alizzah are sitting on the couch. She suddenly lean in and whisper.

“Auntie Mommy, I like your boyfriend. When will you get married?” your eyes widen. You look at her and see a pair of innocent eyes. You smile and hug her.

“I don't know yet sweetie but when I do, you'll be the first to know. Now go to sleep its late.” You kiss her hair and lift her to sit on your lap. You receive a text from your friend saying she'll pick up the twins tomorrow. After sending her an okay, you look down to see the girl sleeping. You feel Gavin sit beside you.

“Sorry, you're supposed to be relaxing but instead you're taking care of the kids with me.” You said, eyes apologetic. He shook his head smiling.

“Silly, you don't need to be sorry. I actually enjoyed it.” He kissed your lips sweetly. You rest you head in his chest as he holds you and the little girl in your arms in his embrace.

“Thank you.” You look up at him

“Thank you for being my Gavin.” He caress your head, his amber eyes is full of love.

“I've always been your Gavin since day one.” He said without breaking the smile on his beautiful face.

“You know, you're gonna be a great father someday.” His face showed a mixture of happiness and worry.

“You think so? You know I never had a good example of a father figure.” He said worry is now evident in his voice. Your heart breaks a little for him. You reach a hand to touch his cheek.

“I know you will. you're a good man Gavin. Your heart is pure and full of love. Besides, I felt your love first hand. Don't you trust me? Our future kids will love you and you will be a good father to them.” His worried face is now changed to a happy one.

“O-our future kids? You want to have a family with me?” you chuckle at him.

“Of course, that is if you wanted to.” Now is your turn to be worried and nervous. His eyes lit up and hugs you tighter.

“Of course I do, you're the only person I can think of starting a family with.” With that being said you feel like you're in cloud nine.

“I love you.” You said your voice full of emotion.

“I love you too.” He said kissing your head. You stayed like that for a while talking about the future. Dreams were created that night. Dreams full of nothing but love and happiness. You can't believe how lucky you are to have someone like Gavin in your life. You are so happy with him by your side. You can't possibly love another man more than you love him. After all, he showed you what love really is. Pure and untainted. Unconditional and wonderful.

#mlqc #love and producer #mlqc fanfic #mr love queen's choice #mlqc bai qi #mlqc gavin

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oneemotionalblender · 3 years

Text

Natasha Romanoff x Reader - Ghost of You

Heyy guyys ! Well , here we go ....

Warnings : sadness , death , some no-no words , possibly Endgame spoilers

Yepp , this one's sad :(

Based on : Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

All my life I have been asking myself one question . What is love ?

Is it a feeling of pure bliss ?

Is it just a chemical reaction ?

Is it something everyone will find ?

Should we even look for love ?

Or , is it something straight from fairytales for children ?

Is love only for children ?

I have settled on the last statement . Love is for children .

People fall in love , and then what ?

How do we know if it's really love ?

How do we know if it isn't only excitement , of something new ?

That's what I was asking myself .

Now I know what love is . Love is pain . Love is pure pain . You see , when you leave someone because they cheated on you ,it's easier because somewhere deep , deep inside you know they weren't worth it . Yes , you cry for some time but that's life . Eventually you can move on . Because you know if they really loved you , they would never do something to hurt you . They would try to do everything in their power to make you feel good , make you feel loved . Even if it meant let you go , because they know you deserve better , that you will be better .

But true pain ? True heartbreak ? Is when you lose someone . When life just decides to take them from you . That's true hurt . Because you know that you will never see them again . You will never be able to feel their touch again . Because everything will once fade away . Their smell on your sheets , the lipstic stains from their favorite mug , the books they loved to read , they will just sit there , as dust will settle on them , because you don't want to touch them . They are one of the things they touched the last . You imagine as their delicate fingers touched them . And you know you're not ready . To let them go . To move on . And maybe , you'll never be .

Love has this effect . Just pure pain . Because no one is here forever , and you know it . But you're still broken when it happens . Because the saddest thing is when you are feeling completely damaged , you look around and realize that there in no shoulder for you to cry on .

*Your POV*

Here I am waking up , still can't sleep on your side .

I fluttered my eyes open , streched my arms and sat on my bed . I looked at the untouched side . Her side . I felt tears forming in my tired eyes .

I made my way to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror .

Bloodshot , red eyes from crying . Check .

Hair in all the directions . Check .

Dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep . Check .

Face that looks like a it has survived the apocalypse . Check .

It's been two weeks since we saved the universe . Two weeks since we killed Thanos . Two weeks since Tony sacrificed himself . Two weeks since .... I lost her .

I laughed at myself . How come one person can make you so desperate ? I don't know , but she did . I tought about the day I met her .

What the hell does he want now ?!

Oh right , let me clear it up for you . My name is Y/N Y/L/N . I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent . And I kind of have telekinesis powers too . I'm a level 8 agent , so I know pretty much about everything . Not like Fury , obviously . His secrets have secrets , for God's sake . And he's the person who called me right now . He didn't say anything . Just "Come to my office ." So that's where I'm going right now .

I open the door to see Fury , and a beautiful red-head , which I recognise as Natasha Romanoff , the famous Black Widow .

"You wanted to see me boss ?" I kept a straight face .

"Yes . Agent Y/L/N , you have made a lot of progress since you came here . I assume you know about the Avengers ." He looked at me . Where the hell is this even going ?

"Since you are an amazing spy-"

"Hold up , was that a compliment ?" I smirked and Fury sighed .

"I'm flattered , really." Heh

"Y/N , let me finish ."

"Ok , continue ."

"As I was saying , you are also very skilled at hand-to-hand combat ." I smirked again .

"This must be my lucky day." I said .

"Ok , sorry . Continue ."

"I am now offering you a spot on the team . The question is , are you ready for it ?" OMG OMG OMG

"I am boss . I won't let you down ."

"I know you won't , otherwise I wouldn't be giving you this offer . Romanoff will now escort you to your new home , the Avengers Tower ."

I sighed . That was a long time ago . Now everything is different .

I put on leggins and some random shirt . At this point I absolutely don't care how I look .

If I could dream long enough , you tell me I'll be just fine , I'll be just fine .

She would want me to move on . I know she would . But I don't know if I'll be able to do that . She was the one person in the world I would die for , and I know she would do the same for me . And she did . She did it for all of us .

"See you in a minute ."

A minute turned to an hour . An hour turned into a week . A week turned into a month . A minute became forever .

"Clint , where's Nat ." Steve asked and looked at Clint . I did the same . Big mistake . I saw his tears stained cheeks , red eyes and empty stare . He looked at me . No . No , no , no , no . This is wrong . This can't be true . I looked at the others . They figured out what is going on . Cap had tears in his eyes and Tony looked at the verge of crying too . I ran out of the room , tears blurred my vision . I opened the door to our room and colapsed on bed . I cried into her pillow . Why ? Why her ? It should have been me . And all of it for that goddamn glowing stone . It wasn't worth it . Where's the "We don't trade lives" now Cap , huh ? She promised me . She promised she would come back . It should have been me .

I wiped away the tears that stained my cheeks . It should have been me .

So I drown it out

Like I always do

Dancing through our house

With the ghost of you

I look around the kitchen . I see her favorite cup , her favorite fruit , her favorite kind of cereal . Everything is reminding me of her . I look at the seat beside me and for a brief moment I see her there . And everything is fine . But then I realize that it's only my imagination . That my dreams about me and her dancing are just my imagination .

So I drown it out

Like I always do

Dancing through our house

With the ghost of you

And I chase it down

With a shot of truth

That my feet don't dance

Like they did with you

"Hey Nat" I gently layed the blood red rose on her grave .

"I don't even know why I came here , talking to an empty grave , but look at me ." I chuckled .

"Anyways , Clint is sending you a hug . The kids miss their auntie Nat . And I miss my Nat too . God I miss you so much Natasha , you can't even imagine . If you were here you would laugh at me for being so pathetic . But you're not . You're not here and that fucking kills me . I don't know how I can live without you . I loved you so much Romanoff . God who am I kidding , I love you so much Romanoff . Why can't you come back to me ?! Why is the universe so cruel ? I just want you back . You should be right here next to me . Anyways , sorry I didn't came sooner . I couldn't bring myself to it . We lost Tony too um, but I guess you already know that . Cap is now officialy a fossil , you would be proud . We had a funeral for you , even tough you probably wouldn't want one . But you deserve it . It was nice , just us , the people you loved and the people that loved you . Because they did , they really did . I'm still crying every night and honestly , I'm used to it by now , even though you know how I hate crying . Well , I have a meeting with Fury , you know how those go . I should probably be on my way now . I will come here every friday ok ? I promise ." I have gently blew a kiss to the sky .

"Natasha , I just want you to know , that no matter what you say or think ,

You are a hero .

And you wiped that red away a long time ago . I'm gonna miss you , probably forever . I'm not sure if I can move on from you . You were the one , I know it now . And maybe , just maybe , when the time is right , I will see you again . Ok um , say hi to Tony from me , ok ? I love you ."

I gently laid my fingers on her grave . I sighed .

Maybe someday ....

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Well , that's it . Was it ok ? Idk

Thoughts ?

Love ya <3

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

Text

100 Buffy Prompts

I had a lot of fun compiling this list. I was cracking up more than once and now I want to binge Buffy. If there is a show you want let me know because these seriously help me shut of my brain during this covid hell.

1 “NAME, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.” – Buffy Summers

2 “I just want to be alone and quite in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.” – Buffy Summers

3 "They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.” – Buffy Summers

4 “I don’t know what’s coming next. But I do know it’s gonna be just like this – hard, painful. But in the end, it’s gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we’ll be the one’s left standing.” – Buffy Summers

5 “I don’t handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I’ve had, huh?” – Xander Harris

6 "Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean you can be all superior.” – Xander Harris

7 “I’m leaning towards blind panic myself.” – Rupert Giles

8 “Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.” – Rupert Giles

9 "With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain." – Spike

10 "Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing there...it's an overrated pleasure.” – Angel

11 "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?" – Angel

12 "Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise?" Faith

13 "You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.” – Faith

14 "You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me.”- Glorificus

15 “I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m — or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.” — Buffy Summers

16 “Seize the moment, ’cause tomorrow you might be dead.” — Buffy Summers

17 “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live.” — Buffy Summers

18 “No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away and what’s left?” “Me.” — Angelus & Buffy Summers

19 “Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?” – Cordelia Chase

20 “God! What is your childhood trauma?!” – Cordelia Chase

21 “Gee, can you vague that up for me?” – Buffy Summers

22 “I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.” – Xander Harris

23 “I don’t know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of this moment I officially don’t care.” – Xander Harris

24 “You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren’t you?” – Cordelia Chase

25 “I mock you with my monkey pants!” – Oz

26 “Funny how preparing looks an awful lot like sitting on your ass.” – Spike

27 “That’s fairly freaksome.” – Oz

28 “Do you have any tact at all?” – Giles

29 “I’ve known you for two minutes and I can’t stand you.” – Spike

30 “Great. Now I’m gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.” – Cordelia Chase

31 “You didn’t happen to take a lot of drugs, did you?” – Willow

32 “I’ve seen honest faces…they usually come attached to liars.” – Willow

33 “Can I be blind, too?” – Xander

34 “Gee, I hope I’m not interrupting anything really depressing.” – Riley

35 “And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.” – Anya

36 “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.” – Spike

37 “We’ve got to face it, we’ve changed. Well, not you—you’re still sadistic and self-centered.” – Giles

38 “Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.” – Giles

39 “Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today?” – Xander

40 “Do you love me?” “What?” “Do you?” “I love you. I don't know if I trust you.” “Maybe you shouldn't do either.” “Maybe I'm the one who should decide!” — Angel & Buffy

41 “Six a.m.!" NAME cried. "I know that's a number on my clock, but I've never actually been awake to personally witness it!” — Xander

42 “Bored now.” — Vampire Willow

43 “We’ll go be heroes.” — Spike

44 “You have a plan?” “I am the plan.” — Giles & Buffy

45 "Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together." — Buffy

46 "I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready." — Buffy

47 "You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. NAME, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live, for me." — Buffy

48 "Make your choices. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

49 “Weird love’s better than no love.” — Buffy

50 “The who having wha with huh?” — Buffy

51 “Whatever you choose, you’ve got my support. Just think of me as… as your… You know, I’m searching for supportive things and I’m coming up all bras. So, something slightly more manly, think of me as that.” – Xander

52 "A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful." Angel

53 "To forgive is an act of compassion, NAME. It's-it's... it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it." — Giles

54 "In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed." — Giles

55 "I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters." — Buffy

56 "I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you." — Buffy

57 "Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

58 "Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own." — Joss Whedon

59 “Out. For. A. Walk… Bitch.” — Spike

60 “You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.” — Spike

61 “Is everyone here very stoned?” — Spike

62 “I feel safe with you.” [Chokes] “TAKE THAT BACK!” — Dawn & Spike

63 “I love you.” “Oh, my god.” “Hey, no. Look at me. I... love you. You're all I bloody think about... dream about. You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, NAME. I'm drowning in you.” — Spike & Buffy

64 “Just... give me something. A crumb, the barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday there's a chance” “NAME ... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.” “Oh, wha-“ [screams, then shouts] “What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody men/women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?” “Which question do you want me to answer first?” — Spike & Buffy

65 “You can't deny it. There's something between us.” “Loathing. Disgust.” — Spike & Buffy

66 “Could do without the laugh track, NAME.” “But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the NAME. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.” — Spike & Drusilla

67 “Damn right I’m impure! I’m as impure as the driven yellow snow.” — Spike

68 “I love you.” “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” — Spike & Buffy

69 “This with you, it’s wrong. I know it. I’m not a complete idiot.” — Spike

70 “You always hurt the ones you love, pet.” — Spike

71 "When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are." — Buffy

72 "I’m just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain." — Buffy

73 "I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love." — Buffy

74 "Weird love's better than no love." — Buffy

75 “People don’t fall in love with what’s right in front of them. People want the dream — what they can’t have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.” — Buffy

76 "Trust is for old marrieds, NAME. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes." “Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last." — Spike & Buffy

77 "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" — Angel

78 "I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" — Angel

79 "If I may suggest, ‘This time it's personal.’ I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic." —Oz

80 "Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend NAME jealous, or even the score, or something. And...that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait." — Oz

81 "NAME’s our friend...except I don't like him/her.” — Xander

82 "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex ... Help! Four times five is thirty ... five times six is thirty-two ... Naked girls. Naked women ... Naked NAME ... Oh, stop me!" — Xander

83 "Man, NAME! My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta' get me a life!" — Xander

84 “NAME. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?” “As defending champion, you nervous?” — Cordelia & Buffy

85 "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." — Cordelia

86 “Oh please. Like shame is something to be proud of.” — Cordelia

87 “I’m going to give you some advice: get over it.” — Cordelia

88 “Oh, and you’re welcome.” — Cordelia

89 “I’m not a sniveling little cry-NAME. I’m the nastiest guy/girl in PLACE history. I take crap from no one.” — Cordelia

90 “I think it. I say it. It’s my way.” — Cordelia

91 "I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you - for crawling across your face in the middle of the night." — Willow

92 "I don't want danger. Big 'no’ to danger.” — Willow

93 "Let's get this straight. I don't understand it. I don't wanna' understand it. You have gross emotional problems. And things are not okay between us." — Willow

94 "NAME, I got so lost." "I found you. I will always find you." — Tara & Willow

95 "But you like him/her, and when you think about him/her, you get that good down-low tickle, right?" — Faith

96 "You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient." — Faith

97 "Just relax ... and take off your pants." — Faith

98 "I am, you know." “What?" “Yours." — Tara & Willow

99 "I don't have time for bondage fun." - Buffy

100 “It's fine, I don't need to be snuggled.” — Willow

#buffy prompts #buffy quotes #btvs #writing prompts #dialogue prompts #drabble prompts #buffy summers #angel #cordelia chase #rupert giles #xander harris #willow rosenberg #faith #spike #quaratine sucks and making these keeps my mind busy #i live in covid 19 hell

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docholligay · 5 years

Note

"Day 29: Okay, but what if one of them realizes they’re dying, but doesn’t want to burden her and so doesn’t wake up the other and just curls up next to them one last time." I was initially gonna suggest doing this for HaruMichi, but now I'm curious about having it be used for Reinako.

1,000 ish words, I hope you enjoy! ANGSTOBER MY FRIENDS.

Mina knew herself, and she knew herself well, and it was this quality of self-awareness that had served her well throughout her life. She knew, when she did things, generally why she did them, even if the answer was not particularly flattering. Mina was no mystery to MIna, however she might appear to others.

She somehow thought it was different with Rei. Rei never seemed to know where that fire came from, and she blamed it on her father, and she blamed it on the patriarchy, and she blamed it on the same classes to which she herself belonged, but none of this was true, or it was true only in the way that a brush of the hand causes a mosquito bite to itch. It didn’t help, but it wasn’t the problem. No, Rei lived her life believing that she felt the way she did because she was always right to feel so, and if she went to that door inside her heart, where Mina had knocked so many times, she didn’t seem any worse for wear.

Would Rei know, if it was happening to her?

Mina knew herself, and so Mina knew she was selfish, and that was why she was here, sitting on a tatami mat while Rei slept next to her. She could have gone back to her tiny studio apartment. Mina could have pulled that bed down from the wall and slept there until it came. That would have been the kind thing to do. That would have been the noble thing to do.

But Mina wasn’t kind, and she wasn’t noble, and she could be terribly selfish, and that was why she was here. She’d made a calculated choice. She couldn’t go to Haruka’s house, or Usagi’s. Neither of them would have survived it, in the end. But Rei was made of tougher stuff, and when the morning sun broke upon her and she found Mina was broken, she’d grit her teeth and pull herself up and keep going.

Rei wouldn’t know why Mina hadn’t woken her, same as Rei wouldn’t really understand why she was so angry at Mina, probably would be for her entire life.

But as selfish as Mina knew she was, refusing to face this alone, she wasn’t quite selfish enough to make Rei stay awake with her. But maybe that was selfishness, too. Rei would take her to a hospital, Rei would get Usagi, Rei would scream about doing something no matter how much Mina knew it was useless. That thing had stared deep into Mina’s eyes, when it had stung her, and as the poison entered her veins, Mina felt the impressions of everything it had come from, saw that it was something Usagi couldn’t even touch. She felt the joy of its heart as it knew Minako Aino, Sailor Venus, leader of the Senshi for at least this last night, was sentenced to death. So there was no cause for a fuss and an argument for the sake of a few moments of hope.

Here, in the moonlight, she could look at Rei, her long black hair streaming across the pillow and towards Mina, the one thing inside her that would allow herself to reach out for Mina. Mina touched it, tangled against the blonde of the mat, and she smiled, forgetting for a moment the ache in her chest, the way her lungs felt like a waterlogged sponge.

Rei slept deeply, and this was for the best.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, the truest apology she knew she’d ever given, “For what I’m doing.”

There was more to it than that, but words weren’t as easy anymore, and so she didn’t need to go into the fact that she was sorry Rei was the strongest, that she was sorry she was turning Rei into her nightlight for that last dark hallway, that she was sorry Rei would have to find her, that she was sorry Rei would tell the others. She was sorry, ever so sorry, that she had loved Rei. Sorrier still that Rei loved her.

At the end of our lives, we can allow ourselves a little lie, and so Mina let herself believe that Rei would know, someday, that she had loved Mina. She didn’t want Rei to torment herself over it, but she needed to know, somehow, that Rei would look at those long nights when the blonde that tangled in Rei’s hair was Mina’s own, and know there had been love. It hadn’t been the mistake Rei always said it was.

She let out a weak chuckle as she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. Knowing she had loved Mina would only make Rei think it was more a mistake. She hoped someday Rei would go to that door in her heart, and answer the knock there, even if it wasn’t for Mina. Maybe if she’d had more time. Maybe if Rei had been worn down a little more by life. Maybe if a million things that were never going to have the chance to happen.

It was hard, now. She could just die here, up against the wall, as night cast long shadows over the room. But Mina was selfish. She knew that about herself, and that isn’t what she wanted. She opened her eyes, and dug deep, and pressed herself off the wall, tumbling forward onto her elbows.

Don’t wake up, Rei. Listen to me, for once.

She pulled herself forward, every breath sliding another dagger into her chest. She had to hurry, if she wanted what she wanted. It wasn’t far now. It wasn’t long now.

With one more great heave, spots appearing before her eyes, she laid with her chest to Rei’s back, curling a hand around Rei’s waist, the smoke and plum scent of her the only lullaby Mina needed to be rocked to a long, dark sleep.

“I love you,” she said, quietly, finally, “You love me.”

The moon moved behind a cloud, and the long shadow of night that had been tiptoeing at the edges filled the room, and there was a smile hidden in the darkness, as Mina got what she wanted.

#kingofthebookcase

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anarkhebringer · 4 years

Note

hi i'm back, can i get some more modern felix stuff please? just anything you can think of would be perfect!

Hiiiii nonny, welcome back~~~

But anyway yee, you may have a lot of random modern Felix stuffs. I’m always happy to deliver. I’m gonna try to not make it too long, but it’s already a mile long now by the time I’ve made most of the main points so I might as well just roll with it a bit. This is definitely gonna be a very long read.

Living with his aunt for the number of years he has eventually led him to developing an occasional southern drawl when he speaks, since his aunt has one. It’s a very rare thing though, and almost never happens. When it does though, he HATES IT.

The influences on his speaking from his aunt mostly shows in his wording of things, since sometimes when he gets spirited about something he says “y’all” and such all the time. One time when Sylvain was just being Sylvain, and neither Felix nor Ashe could calm him, Felix just muttered “y’all’re gonna bleed me dry someday…” Sylvain and Ashe thought it was the cutest fuckin’ thing, and Sylvain calmed down after that. Neither mentioned the drawl though since they quickly learned from hearing stories that Felix will get really pissed if you tease him about it or even mention it too much for his tastes. Which is just mentioning it at all.

He’s not easily scared at all, but just walking past him wrong can make him jolt from being startled sometimes. That’s something from his traumas that’s finally starting to come to the forefront that couldn’t before, since he could suppress everything that hindered his progress in combat, but he can’t do that anymore.

He’s gotten to be a person who can really enjoy his leisure due to his really deep dive into depression that happened after he got his ability to be in combat taken away from him. He and Linhardt could have had a competition to see who can fall asleep while standing up and stay standing the longest. He has medication that helps keep him awake enough to not be able to do that anymore though, but he has really bad insomnia now as a result of his completely chaotic and inconsistent sleeping schedule. His stress wrinkles in the inner corners of his eyes are completely covered by the dark circles under them now that really shows his wear and exhaustion.

He won’t at all complain if he’s given a task to do by someone that isn’t in his household, and it’ll keep his mind active and keep his mood in a positive place if he isn’t overworked. He does get drained way easier now though if what he’s asked to do involves socializing or interacting with anyone in any way too much.

When he’s drained socially, he becomes very aggressive and unstable. He’ll get like he used to be and completely isolate, and lash out if you interrupt what he’s doing and you don’t want to actively participate. He’d still get mad that you interrupted him though, and he probably won’t let you participate unless you’re among a certain handful of people.

Ashe and Claude are the only two people who don’t mentally drain him whatsoever, and he could see them literally every day if they wanted to do that. Ashe because Felix cares for him so much, and Claude because they’re so similar. He and Claude don’t drain each other because they can go literal months without speaking, then pick up on what they left off on like they only stopped talking for a day or two. Same with Ashe, though Felix becomes slightly noticeably more down and sad when he doesn’t see Ashe for too long a timespan.

He has a secret love of cuddling, and also hides his full support of platonic PDA, cuddling, and even kisses and such if there’s enough mutual trust between the ones involved. He’s very touch-averse and sensitive to others touching him, so he only really lets Ashe, Claude, and Sylvain touch him to show affection. Only Ashe can do much, and he only really tolerates Sylvain’s occasional one-armed hugs or quick pats on the shoulder as he walks by. Ashe however can hug him (after making his desires to do so known of course), hold his arms, and even his hands, since Ashe is the kind to show affection by physical means whenever he’s allowed to do so. They even cuddle at night when Ashe stays overnight at his apartment.

He actually lets Sylvain cuddle with him too when Sylvain really needs the affection during hard times, though he never returns it unless he does so while he’s asleep. It’s become a comforting thing to wake up to, feeling the warmth of Sylvain against him and his arms wrapped around Felix’s frame, even though Felix didn’t really want it to become that. At first, anyway.

His depressive rut wasn’t all bad in some cases, and because of the isolation he went into, he’s become extremely artistic and tech savvy since he didn’t have much to do to occupy himself. Being extremely brainy as is really helped him get going with these things.

He’s also learned to hack and code on the computer from that rut too, and he could get you into anything you wanted him to. He knows all sorts of ways to hide himself under all sorts of circumstances, and clear his tracks if he’s found, so he could actually be extremely dangerous if he were to use this knowledge and skill for anything shady. The most he uses it for is to make modifications to games and explore the Dark Web as anonymously as possible when his morbid curiosities get the best of him, though.

Well, there have been times where he’s used his skills to scare people. There have been times where people have threatened his friends (namely Claude and Ashe), and to scare the bullies off, he hid himself and hacked into their devices to make text documents warning them to stay away or else there would be trouble, because they’re always being watched. That always managed to scare them off on the first try, and he’s never done anything more than that, because there was no need.

He’s super protective of what few friends he has. He’d willingly put himself in danger for them all the time, unless of course they got themselves into the mess they’re in and he feels they don’t really deserve to be helped out of a situation that’ll be them learning their lesson. Otherwise, he’s borderline obsessed with his friends’ safety and happiness. It’s hard to really see that outside of sudden outbursts from him, since he’s so averse to socialization and unable to understand/express emotions well, but if he’s really needed and he can mentally handle it, you’d best believe he’d be completely focused on doing whatever he could do to help a friend in need for as long as they needed him.

Stuff like this has his friends really knowing who he is eventually, and he doesn’t like that. He’s actually really nice, but his way of showing it isn’t exactly common. Onlookers would think he’s just indifferent unless he’s feeling particularly chipper and/or manic, but his friends get to be on the receiving end of conversation and see him do more personal things compared to others, so they know he’s far nicer than even he thinks he is. He’s become oddly patient compared to his old self, and can hold a conversation for a while longer than he used to. If you get him talking about certain topics, though, you could manage to talk with him for literal hours on end.

He’s overall pretty chill now. Depression has taken the constant explosive anger out of him. He’s still always angry and bitter to some degree, but not to the point of lashing out at every little thing that upsets him. He’s still just as blunt as he was before, but he’s become a lot more passive-aggressive and/or condescending when it shows, instead of sudden outbursts and hurling insults around at all turns. And to those who have received both from him, the current version of his aggression hurts them a lot more, since he shows so little emotion during the times he throws something out to hurt them. All they see is (sometimes) in his body language, and the bitter fogginess in those eyes from how empty he’s become. Even his tone has changed. He’s not as aggressive sounding unless he’s more angry than usual, but he’s got a bitter tone. Or worse, he sounds almost monotone, like he feels absolutely nothing. If he’s got the tone of voice he used to have before, know that he’s on the verge of snapping and lashing out, and that goes from angry sounding to yelling at any time. And he yells loud.

He tends to cry a bit more than he used to now, since he gets overstimulated really easily. He can hold it in around other people most of the time unless it’s particularly overwhelming and getting even worse. It sometimes reminds Sylvain of when they were kids, but then he feels bad thinking of it like that since Felix has more going on in his head than he did back then. He’s trying to work on stopping that association, and he’s starting to get better at not thinking of Felix when he was a kid when he cries.

He used to parade around talking about how he wasn’t one to laugh and joke, but nowadays he’s not like that anymore. He still won’t joke often, and jokes go right over his head and he doesn’t get it and may ruin it usually, but he lets himself laugh at things he finds funny. Not around other people, though. Unless it’s from something else he finds funny, like a YouTube video. His laugh is like an odd mix between Vinny from Vinesauce, Bluesdank, and FPS Diesel. He’s the rare kind of person that’ll laugh in 10 different ways in one sitting and them all be real laughter. The sound of his laughter isn’t too consistent at times.

There’s another reason he can’t do much anymore aside from his depression, and that’s because a year or so ago he had a fit of smaller seizures that shocked his system really bad because of how long it lasted. After that, his mental regression that was already happening because of what he has has gotten much faster in its progression.

Despite these new growing limits he has, he’s still doing his best to keep going and existing on doing what he can do with what he has, and he’s shifted from being solely focused on a person’s skills in battle to how much heart they have due to it. He won’t care about combat skills anymore if you aim to impress him, he cares more about what you bring to the table. Your skills with a sword don’t show what you put your heart into in life and what you do for yourself and others. If you wanna impress him, give him a gift from the heart, not anything store bought. Do something nice for someone. Draw him a picture, write him a letter, pick him some flowers you think he’d like. Maybe take him to the park? Talk to him about your interests, voice your opinions on what you enjoy. Something that you can put your heart into, and I can’t stress it enough. He cares about a person’s core more than their fighting prowess now. He’s sworn off of focusing so much on fighting forever since he got the ability to do so himself taken form him, and he refuses to still dwell on it with others, too.

Alright, that’s gonna be where I cut it off for now. Hopefully that was a good read. I’ve made Felix go through some shit in this AU, but hey, he’s one of the characters I picked to put a theme of healing and strength onto, so I gotta give him some lore to get him to the point of being so different now. Plus a softer Felix makes me warm inside, so I wanted to incorporate that in, too.

#asks #anonymous #long post #Fire Emblem AU #FE Modern AU #Fire Emblem Three Houses #Felix Hugo Fraldarius #FE3H Felix #AU info #AU headcanon

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sportsnightnut · 5 years

Note

I'm missing my dad a lot right now and I would love a little father-daughter moment between Mulder and baby girl if inspiration strikes you. The way you write them is sweet. ❤️

Oh, dear anon. I’m sorry to hear you’re missing your dad. I hope this little bit helps. ️❤️

(Also, as a heads up, I took some liberties in erasing anything that “happened” with Monica in the revival because as far as I’m concerned, CC can shove that storyline somewhere the sun doesn’t shine.)

Written on my lunch break, briefly edited/revised. Tagging @today-in-fic and a couple of my pals, @baronessblixen and @viceversawrites. 😊

The room is dim, a soft glow coming from the light above the bed. The faint beeping of monitors and IV pumps can be heard from down the hall, but it’s quiet in this room, which makes this different from so many of their previous hospital stays. No agents stationed outside the door, no cops coming to ask questions about potential suspects, just nurses and doctors making their rounds.

The sweet L&D nurse, Lauren, comes to check on the trio in the early hours of the morning. She finds Mulder lying in the bed next to Scully, his right arm wrapped around her. His left hand is gently stroking the small patch of red hair on his daughter’s head.

“How are you doing?” Lauren whispers, tapping her ID badge against the reader to wake up the computer.

“We’re good,” Scully says, smiling. Caroline is asleep in her arms, having just finished feeding not long ago. “We’re really good.”

Lauren types a few notes into the chart. “I’m glad to hear that. Do you want me to take her to the nursery for a bit, let you two get some rest?”

Scully looks to Mulder, unsure. Uninterrupted sleep sounds incredible, but she doesn’t know if she can stomach the thought of being separated from Caroline. Mulder understands this from her expression; she doesn’t have to say a word.

“Nah,” he says. “We’ve got her. I’ll let her mama get some sleep and I’ll take her for a while.”

“You got it,” Lauren agrees as she heads for the door. “Just let me know if you change your mind or need anything, okay?” Scully thanks her with a sleepy nod.

Mulder untangles himself from Scully and from the blankets, happy for the opportunity to stretch his limbs. When he stands and gets a good look at his wife, he realizes she’s blinking back tears.

“Hey. Hey,” Mulder says soothingly, reaching over to cup her cheek in his hand. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Scully sniffles, wipes the back of her hand across her nose. “I’m just a little scared to be this happy.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Mulder’s voice is soft, reassuring. “We’re okay. Everything is okay.”

“I know.” He’s wiping her tears away with his thumb when she smiles up at him. “I guess I had just convinced myself we’d never get to do this. Somehow it didn’t feel real until I actually got to hold her.”

“Yeah. Me too. But look at her, Scully. She’s perfect. And she’s ours.”

Mulder kisses her forehead before she gives Caroline to him. He paces back and forth with her for a few moments and adjusts the tiny knit cap on her head.

“Mulder?” Scully’s voice is soft, almost shy. She’s cast in that soft glow of the light above her bed, looking almost angelic in this moment. It’s a thought Mulder would never voice out loud, but one that makes his heart swell anyway.

“Hm?”

“Thank you. For everything.“

"You don’t need to thank me. You’re the one who did all the work.”

“Yeah, but…” Scully smiles. “I couldn’t do this without you. And I wouldn’t want to, either. I love you. I hope you know how much.”

Mulder smiles back and leans down to give her a kiss. “I love you, too.”

He flips the switch to turn the light off so that the room is now illuminated only by the sliver of light coming in from the doorway.

As soon as Scully falls asleep (which is almost immediately), Mulder shifts his focus down to the baby girl in his arms. She’s awake now, but quiet and calm.

He takes a seat in the recliner and looks out the window next to him, the sky shifting from black to shades of deep purple as the sun prepares to rise in a couple of hours.

“Hey, pumpkin,” he says quietly. “While I’ve got your attention, there are a few things I need to tell you. First things first: that woman over there, your mama, is the most important person in the world to both of us. We wouldn’t survive without her. I will do anything to protect her, and you too, okay?”

Though her eyes are still open, Caroline yawns.

“I can’t be boring you already, can I? Nah. You don’t even know what boredom is yet. I’ll just keep talking. Here’s the second thing you need to know: in this family, we are Yankees fans. The Red Sox are scum. You are so lucky that you were born a fan of the best team in major league baseball.”

“I also have to tell you ahead of time that I might not always get this whole dad thing right. My father wasn’t good at it, and I’m a little afraid I won’t be, either. But I’m going to do my best. And when I mess up, you just have to let me know so I can fix it, because I want to be the best dad in the universe for you.”

Mulder looks over Scully and grins. “You’ll find this out really quickly, but your mama is very smart. She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. You might decide someday that you want to be a doctor like her. Or maybe you want to be a psychologist like your old man. Or maybe you’ll be a writer, or a teacher. I don’t know, pumpkin. But I do know you’ll be the best at whatever it is you choose, and we’re going to love you and support you no matter what.”

Mulder rocks gently back and forth in the chair. “Let’s see…what else do you need to know? Oh. Here’s something. If a man or a woman ever breaks your heart, you come to us right away, okay? We’ll take care of them for you, no questions asked. This is just one benefit of your parents being FBI agents.” He chuckles to himself.

Caroline yawns again as her eyes start to close. “Tomorrow you’ll get to meet your godparents. Your godmother’s name is Monica. Monica is one of the nicest people you will ever know. She’ll always be there to have movie nights with you and cheer you on in life. And your godfather’s name is John. He only wants the very best for you, so he’s gonna want to grill your significant others, too. I wasn’t so sure about John at first, but I warmed up to him eventually. You’ll learn quickly that I’m kind of stubborn, baby. But Monica and John were there for your mom at a time when I couldn’t be. They helped her and took care of her, and I know they’ll take care of you, too.”

“I really want to tell you more about your grandmother. Her name was Maggie. Oh, she would have loved you so much. We miss her every day. But you’ll get to see the best parts of her in your mama. And I promise we’ll try to make banana bread just as good as she made it.”

“I think that’s a good start for now, don’t you? We should get some sleep. Well…I should get some sleep,” he corrects himself, as Caroline has already been asleep for a few minutes. “We’ve got plenty of time to teach you everything you need to know. The only thing you really need to know right now is that you are by far the most loved little girl in the entire world.”

Mulder places a kiss on his daughter’s forehead. “Oh, and aliens are real, honey. Don’t ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise.”

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har-rison-s · 5 years

Text

Tiny Dancer - Five

A/N: Hope whoever's reading this is enjoying it. Personally, 40s Bucky is so sdnfsjfh cute, I can't. I try to write him as good and accurate as possible. English isn't my first language, so squint your eyes for any grammar mistakes/misspelling. Happy reading!

This is getting a little hard to write now. I hadn't calculated what writing this all out means.

The funeral was arranged by... someone, I don't know, I took the first company that came my way, I didn't really want anything to do with it. My father's death. If only I had any other relatives, except for my dad's brother who I rarely met, who could settle this all instead of me.

My heritage had been confirmed. I had gained not only money from my father, but also his place in the family company. He produced musical instruments - guitars, violins, microphones, etc. And now I got his role - the owner - in it. I was somehow delighted for the first time since his death. I had the hands to do anything I wanted to.

I actually still own the company, and I’m trying to change my employeés every time I change a city to live in. They never want to leave, and I know why, I perfectly understand. The money's good, you get bonus gifts and even failed-to-finish musical instruments and parts of them, everyone's nice to each other and the boss (me) is the best boss you could wish for. But it's crucial every few years. I could never tell anyone my secret, God knows what would happen. No one, absolutely no one, can know about my true nature and... fate, I guess. Forbidden.

I'm not even the front-woman of my father's and my company. It's my secretary. A woman who was born in 1920 and has been my secretary since I was... back from HYDRA, totally back. It was around the fourties, I think? Anyway...

Our house was empty since my father died.

Silent. I hated it. I hated silence, always have. And it became my daily companion. Soon after I got so irritated and angry that I bought a radio, and I turned it on everytime I was home, or home alone, at that. I wasn’t exactly satisfied with what the programmes were giving me in terms of music, but as a silence-repellent, it worked very well.

Sixteen, owning a company, a house, attending school, dancing ballet in operas and living in a house alone. Mother died at giving birth, and father committed suicide, no other relatives known. Quite the package, wasn’t I? And to be alone in my pain and burdens was not easy to live with. Horrible to bear it.

I offered Steve to live in my house with me, so he nor I would live alone. I hated coming home to nobody, no one, nobody making any noise. When my father was around, he wasn’t making that much noise, but at least there was a sense of life in the house. And Steve was all alone too, no sisters or brothers and both his parents gone. Just like me. But Steve wouldn’t take up my offer. I asked him why.

“You’re living alone, too.” I say to him softly. We’re sitting on a park bench in the sunlight, still shining in September. We're glad it is, neither of us really miss the crispy winter air and coldness. Summer has been—in weather terms—very kind to us, blessed us with some days of joy at the seaside or Coney Island.

Currently James is off to get us all ice cream. It's not quite the temperature for ice cream now, but where we are sitting, it feels like you're on a frying pan. And we'll be sitting here for a long time, at least until the sun sets.

“Why wouldn’t you want to move in? It’s lonely.” I admit. “For the both of us.”

Steve sighs. “I’m certainly not the one you should be choosing to substitute your loneliness with.” He says and looks up at me with a faint smile. I give him one in return before looking down, realising what he means.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I admit. “But if I spend all my time with him, I will get tired of James, won’t I? And where would be the fun in that? I'd just get sick to my stomach if I have to see his face every morning that I wake up.”

We both chuckle. I'm joking, of course, and I think we're both laughing at the joke and the possibility of me getting sick of Bucky. That's where me and Steve meet. Humor. And, in later years, I found that motivational speaking was also a common thing for the both of us.

“I bet.” He replies. “But I can’t move into your house.” The skinny teen shakes his head, looking down. “I don’t have any money to pay my half of the rent with.”

I roll my eyes in no seriousness and push his shoulder gently. Only slightly, cause I'm afraid if I push too hard, the fellow will just fall off the bench. “You won’t have to, Steve.” I say, leaning closer to him and searching his deep eyes. “The house was bought long ago, we don’t pay rent. Never have.” I state. Steve lets out an inaudible sigh, he knows I'm right and he should agree. “What is it, really? What’s the reason you won’t take my offer?” I ask, leaning back onto the wooden bench. It's already heated up from the few seconds my back wasn't leaning against it. “It’s the least I can do to help you. What if the neighbours find out you’re not eighteen? They’ll call the police and take you to a children’s home, what will you do then?”

Steve hangs his head low. “Don’t do that, Scarlett.” He says. “That’s… That's emotional blackmail.” I can’t help but laugh at his use of words to describe my helpful offer.

“No, it’s not!” I defend myself. “I’m trying to help you. Please, take my offer. I will feel hopeless otherwise. And rejected.” I show him fake puppy eyes and Steve only pushes me away.

Steve shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Scarlett.” He says finally and looks up at me. “I won’t do it. You can’t make me.”

I huff and watch his eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. His eyes are sincere and true. Steve doesn’t lie. He’s always true to everyone, even if it hurts. This time ain’t no exception. He’s too good for his own good. And I understand why he won’t take my offer. It wouldn’t feel right.

”Now, now, Stevie,” we hear Bucky's voice coming from the direction he disappeared into. We turn our heads to see him now with three ice cream ones in his hands instead of empty ones, “don't you go flirting with my girl.”

I smile at him, taking the vanilla cone from his hand and trying not to be too obvious with the heat tainting my cheeks because of his nickname. My girl. Steve takes his ice cream from James, though the bigger boy challenges his friend a bit first. Steve gives him quite a sorry look and Bucky gives in, letting Steve take the cone.

”It's never too late to try.” Steve jokingly replies to his best friend and all of us laugh warm-heartedly. I try to think of something I could say while we admire and start to dig into our ice creams.

”Actually, you know what, James?” I start to say and he looks at me with raised eyebrows and a light brown brush on his nose. It made me giggle, but I didn't tell him until the very end of the evening that he had mushed his nose into his chocolate ice cream, “I'm gonna have to think our relationship over. Steve's quite the competition.” I say and raise my eyebrows, licking my ice cream.

The two boys glance between each other, trying to understand if I'm serious or not—since I said it so matter-of-factly that anyone could believe I truly meant those words. But when a snort comes out of my mouth, they know I can't hold back laughing and so we all do. We laugh for such a long time that our stomachs start to hurt and our ice cream has almost melted completely.

Steve was really a righteous person. Never bended to anyone’s will, suffered even if he has a chance not to. What a weirdo, I thought when I first realised it. I was about eleven that time. Why wouldn’t you run from trouble? He was too self-righteous, I guess, never gave up on anything he thought was the right thing to do. He took pride in what he did, never realised that getting beat up in almost every Brooklyn alley wasn't a success. But, I liked his bravery and always admired the not giving up and standing his ground. Always thought that I lacked of those.

Getting ready for my father’s funeral was no fun at all. I never liked wearing black clothes. They just felt heavy and I felt like they dragged me down. The colour is still dreadful to me. I like soft and light colours, flowery themes, all of that. I always dress that way, blouses, skirts and dresses. But black has never been my style.

I had one, the only one. A black dress with lace all over. It had sparkles, here and there because of the thirties fashion. It was uncomfortable. I mean, the fabric was alright and it wasn’t uncomfortably tighter anywhere. But it was just the porpose of the dress that made me uncomfortable.

My father’s funeral. And funerals in general. I promised myself then that this would be the only funeral I attend until my own. Who knows now if that will ever come around…

I hadn't decided what to do with my hair. Although there was this one hairstyle my classmate was wearing that I thought would be so beautiful with my own hair. She told me how to do it, and I wanted to make it someday for a special occasion. And I did. It was mine and James' first date. And then... when my father's funeral came around, I didn't know what to do with my hair.

I didn't want to leave it free-falling as I usually do, because, well, that's what I usually do. I didn't want to make a ponytail cause that wasn't the fashion then and it would be too casual. Braids... I thought about that. But eventually, at the last moment, I didn't have any other options except the hairstyle of the first date. I really didn't want to make it, because it used to remind me of such beautiful memories and moments and now it would only remind me of grief and death. So I changed it up a little.

Originally, you have to make at least two braids in your hair and then twirl them together and tie them down to the top of your head to make a nest? A bun? But I didn't put it on the top of my head. I put it very low, just where my hair ends. And to me, that made all the difference.

I'm looking at myself in the mirror too much. It's actually something that I never do, mirrors are just for quick check-ups or fashion shows with myself. I don't spend more than five minutes looking at myself in the mirror.

I’m tugging on the dress everywhere my fingers get to, and it’s unnessecary. The fabric will soon be unusable, stretched and pulled at places. I’m fidgeting. Nervous. Not what I am, not what I'm supposed to be. My shoulders are supposed to be higher, my back more straight than it usually is, chin up and a smile on face. God, I can't do that today, I can't smile. I just... have to survive this one day, I have to be strong.

The dress looks fine, honestly. If I'd look objectively at it, I'd notice that there's nothing wrong with it, no glitters have fallen off, not one spot looks stretched out. But the dress would look much better untouched, hanging in the closet.

I try to touch up my hair even though it doesn't need touching up. And suddenly the most important pin slips out of the hair bunch on my head and all the others follow suit. It was the last one I put in that held together each previous pin. And now everything's ruined, my hairstyle is falling out. I should have secured everything a bit more strongly. I shouldn't have touched my hair at all...

I’m gasping as I try to save it all, twisting and turning in a squatting position in front of my mirror. The pins are falling behind me and the twisting around is making em very uncomfortable. My hands are flying all around me to gather the pins but I can’t see them on the dark floor. I let out a loud whimper of despair as I fall down on my bum, and can't help but start to cry. Oh, I hate crying.

“Scarlett?” The door of my room opens and James slips through. His eyes search for me in the room, but he can’t spot me in the far end of my room, behind my bed, actually having a panic attack on the floor in front of my mirror. But once he hears my whimpers and sobs of sadness, he spots me and rushes over.

James is wearing a nice, dark suit. He looks lovely, the complete opposite of me. His hair is pushed back with the help of some gel, but as he bends down to my level, strands of it start to fall out. To me, it looks better and I even want to stop his hand that pushes the fallen strands back in place.

I think of how I look before him now. I have probably cried all my mascara off and it’s running down my cheeks, blended with tears, looking like black, horrid rivers. My hair is a mess, I’ve lost all my pins and I think the heels of my shoes are starting to break. My face is pulled into a scowl because of crying.

“Scarlett.” His soothing voice speaks. I cry harder and he sits down next to me, puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. “What's wrong, doll?” He asks in such a soothing voice, it almost makes me cry harder.

“I-I can’t do it. I can't go out there.” I say between cries. “Everything's ruined. My makeup is completely ruined.” I state. At that, James chuckles.

“That thing don’t matter.” He replies. “We can clean it off.”

“No, I have to have it on.” I protest. “I already put it on for this day and I can’t just leave my face like it is.” James huffs and stands back to his feet and helps me do the same. I lean up again on my wobbly knees and he immediately helps me find balance - one hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. Just like dancing.

“Darlin’, when I tell you that you don’t need that, you listen to me.” James says in a serious tone of voice. He's tipped his head down a bit, looking at me through his lashes. “It’s your father’s funeral day. Everybody already knows how much you're hurt inside, and covering that up with something fabricated is worse. Nobody will even care how you look today. It’s only normal if you look like you’ve cried for weeks.”

His words make sense to me. I don’t hear myself histerically crying anymore, and I'm not breathing rapidly, either. I don’t really know what to say to him, but then my voice speaks before I can come up with words.

“What about my hair?” I ask. “I’ve… I’ve lost all my hair pins on the floor, and I had such a beautiful hairstyle and now I don’t know how to do it again and—“ My breaths start to pick up their pace again.

“Scarlett, it's alright.” James stops me. “Your hair is beautiful, look,” he takes a strand that's fallen over my shoulder and raises it up so I can see it, “you have the most beautiful hair in New York, and in the world, I'm sure. Look at the waves, look at how it's curled from the braiding.” There's a hopeful smile on his features and it makes my lip quiver. How do I deserve this? “I can take out all the otha' pins and you'll go with your hair like it is.”

"But I had such a beautiful hairstyle, I have to make it again, it was—”

“Almost the one you had on our date, yes, I know.” James nods and I look at him. He really remembers? “It's alright, doll, you can make it tomorrow and the day after and for the rest of your life. But you can forget about it now, alright?” His eyes ask the question, as well. “And you are in no state to clean your own face. I’ll do it for you.”

So he sat me down on my bathroom counter and cleaned my ugly mascara off. I didn’t speak while he did, and I didn’t feel like I should have spoken. Who knows what I was supposed to do then.

James takes one of the small white towels I leave in my bathroom cabinet and wettens it with water. I watch his hands as they come up to my cheeks and then my eyes divert to his. He'd never helped me in such a feminine way before. And I was so glad that he was the one cleaning my face.

His eyes showed such determination. And his hands were soft, his movements were slow and gentle, his touch was caring. I wouldn't have touched my face like that. I would've rushed it all, practically beaten my cheeks and left them in a splotchy red color. But James was much more gentle and careful with my skin, since it wasn't his. I guess everyone's much more careful with what isn't theirs. Maybe most people.

He gives my cheeks and eyelids one last petting with the warm cloth and retracts from me, washing the towel. James leaves it on the surface so it can dry easier and turns back to me. “How are you feeling?” He whispers to me, stroking my cheek with his thumb. I lean into his touch willingly, my eyes closing. I can't really give him an answer. I don't know how I feel, to be honest. “Do you want some water? Water with sugar?” He suggests and I shake my head.

I reach out to his hand with mine and he lets me pull him closer to me. James looks in my eyes as if asking something, and I only nod. That something was to kiss me. And so he does. And it's slow and gentle and just... calming. Just what I needed. And I feel like doing it forever.

He lays kisses on both my reddened cheeks and then returns to my lips and then presses a kiss to the very tip of my nose. I giggle, I actually do, and he draws back from me quick enough to catch a glimpse of my smile.

“There's that smile I was looking for.” James tells me and laughs, his whole face lights up with love and warmth and achievement, as well. It's what he was going for - making me smile. I love that about him.

My arms wrap around his neck and his hold me close by my waist when I let my head fall against his chest. I could fall asleep in this position, and I want to badly. But I have to go out and honor my father in front of people I mostly don't know. His old friends and colleagues.

I hope to find people I know, or should know. Any relatives I haven't had the chance to meet, maybe? A long-lost sister or cousin? I have to do this, and I can. So I let Bucky help me get off the bathroom counter and put on more comfortable shoes and go out. He walks with me.

What an angel he was. Sometimes I couldn’t believe that he was there, with me, helping me and talking to me. No matter what had happened, James knew what to say. Was there, whatever the situation. Just like he was for Steve. Bucky was our angel. I didn’t think I deserved an angel. Not even now. Although I wish that I had one, either by my side or watching over me.

I don’t know, maybe it’s because he’s always had both parents and three siblings. Maybe that's the reason he was so good to us. He knew how to take care of people, he knew what to say at the right moments. And he hadn't even studied psychology at any point in his life. Now I really can't guess why he was such an emotionally intelligent person. But I guess the family life and experience from it gave him a lot.

I trusted him to be there for me always, maybe I trusted too much, was asking too much of him. But he never let me down. He always came when I called. And I also wondered how he always had time for everything, for everyone. His family, Steve, school, me, and occasional work. He was perfect in everything.

And what we had was perfect - the relationship, the remaining friendship between us both and Steve. My life was as perfect as our relationship, despite my father being gone, and I thought it would never end. And it didn't, until right after the funeral.

My speech was alright. Of course I teared up, and I hated it, I still hate it. I hate crying in front of other people, no matter who they are and if they understand or not. I don’t like being seen vulnerable in the eyes of many. But well, that day… was quite the exception. There were many excuses of why I was crying, and people I didn't even know comforted me (James, of course, outed them), but I still hated it.

I didn't even know half the people that showed up to my father’s funeral and voiced their greatest condolences to me. Not one friendly or familiar face that I had seen. Everyone spoke to me after the ceremony and before the ‘feast’. I think there were a hundred people, in total.

A while later I found out that the folks I didn’t know were my dad’s colleagues and associates from work, his friends. There were also some of my mom’s friends who I’d never met. They came to talk to me, propose some options about living spaces, offer anything they could. They'd also tell me about my mom, things about her I'd never heard from my dad. They made me even more sad.

“I’m s-sorry, it’s been a… quite a hard day.” I say between sobs. I’m cleaning off my tears with a handkerchief and I feel someone walk up to me from the left. From the grip of their hand on my shoulder I immediately know it’s James. Millie looks at him as I turn my body into his, and Bucky's arms come up around me. My tears wetten his blazer. Weak, I am weak.

“No, I have to apologise. I didn’t mean to sadden you, that was not my intention at all.” Millie says. She’s one of mom’s old friends or best friend, in her words. I have many questions yet to ask her. For example, why did she never visit me or my dad? Why did I never know her?

“What happened?” James asks softly, looking between me and Millie. I sigh.

“This is Millie, one of mother’s friends. Millie, this is James, my, uh, my boyfriend.” i introduce them to each other. “Millie just told me a few things about my mother.” I say and smile at her warmly. My tears are gone, but they’re not far from coming back, either.

“Oh, I see.” James says and smiles at Millie. “Nice to meet you, even under these drastic measures.” He says and Millie extends her arm towards him, wanting to shake his. But James turns it and places a kiss on her palm. Both me and Millie chuckle. “That’s the right look, princess.” James says to me, cradling the side of my face in his hand gently. I blush slightly and lean into his chest even further.

“Alright, I’ll leave you two.” Millie says. “Bye, love. Take care.” She says, wavering her fingers at us. I wave back and she smiles before walking away, her shoes clicking against the ground as she does.

I also met my father’s parents, which I had never before met in my life. I didn’t know I was missing them until I met them. They were sorry that they hadn't met me before, but explained it as 'difficult family matters' being the reason why.

Grandmother asked me about the house and I told her I lived alone. At first she was totally against me living completely alone and wanted me to come live with them, in Chicago. But I couldn't yet trust her so well. I couldn't abandon the life I have here, either. Then she sufficed with telling me that if I ever needed anything, anything at all, they’d be there to help and support me. I told her thank you.

I know you're probably asking why I never offered James to live with me. I should have, oh, I should have. But he had a family he had to take care of. He couldn't just leave them all alone. We joked about bringing them all to live in my house. Well, a joke it was from James, not from me. I gave the thought a lot of seriousness. Later on, years after, we, well, actually, it was only me who decided that Bucky and his family would live in the house. It's big, like a mansion, his little brother had said. “It's a princess palace!” Lizzie, his sister told me when they all arrived.

I guess the mundainity and obviousness of James having a busy family life was the reason why I never offered him to live with me. His family is very important to him, in his case, blood was thicker than water. He always told me stories about his siblings and parents and I could see how much he cared for them. Other families/people wouldn't go the length he did for their families and relatives.

He was quite the opposite of me, actually, just like Steve. We had both lost our parents now and never had a sibling. Completely alone, used to loneliness. But Bucky had it all - friends and family. Nor me nor Steve can say that we didn't have friends, because we did. He had me and Bucky, and I had him and Bucky. But there was always something missing from both our lives. And family gives you most in life, it shapes you as a person, teaches you a lot and gives you knowledge and experience that nothing else could.

I thought I saw my father’s younger brother sneaking around the funeral, too. Now, of course, I know it was him for sure. Then, I didn't remember precisely what he looked like.

I didn’t know him very well. I only knew his name - Robert. I had seen him with my father occasionally when I was younger. I didn’t know who he was, what he worked as or why he was detached from his own family. It was what my father had told me, he had also told me that he and Robert didn’t share the same mother, Robert had german blood in him. I'm not sure now, he looks similar to my grandmother. Or maybe I'm just rying to convince myself they're not step-brothers...

I was never curious to find out who he was and what he had as a job or… profession, if I could count it as a profession now. He didn't seem the family I wanted to have. I may seem arrogant to you by this statement, but he didn't seem the right guy. My grandparents - yes, maybe, but not Robert.

Many people had left me gifts which were a little hard to carry, so me and James called a taxi for each of us to get the gifts back to my house. They all barely fit inside the two cars which really surprised me. Why had people bought me so many gifts? I didn’t need that many things, I needed nothing at all except for my father, the leading figure in my life.

James stayed over that night. It was the first night ever that he stayed at my house. I had been to his house many times before then and stayed a couple. It was a lovely atmosphere there, in their household, with the three siblings still living there and his parents rushing around so everything would be nice and comfortable. Especially when I was around, but it seemed a bit excessive to me. I could tell they wanted to make a nice impression of themselves on me, but I never needed nor wanted one. I liked them already because they were good and caring people, very much like James himself. And they were the ones that gave James to this world.

We laid in my bed awake for many hours that night, could be until the clock hit two or three. I couldn’t sleep and, because James didn't want me to be alone, he didn't sleep, either. To keep me company. But I knew he secretly wanted to sleep because he was quite the heavy sleeper back then.

We talked a little here and there, but mostly there was silence between us. Only the gear wheels in my head turning slowly and heavily, with such resistance. I was thinking hard about everything, trying to decide something, at least. Something to say.

For once, I liked silence a little more than I usually do. I liked silence when I was with James. Neither of us speaking, only breathing and listening to each other's heartbeat. His arm around me, hand caressing my hair and his chest under my hand and beneath my ear so that I could hear his heartbeat. Well, maybe it wasn’t complete silence, after all. Hearing his heartbeat gave me comfort and inner peace. It was something I could listen to all my life, those steady beats of the heart I desire still against my ear drums.

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I know these seem like fillers now, but I promise you’ll understand why they’re needed and the real thing’s coming soon ;)

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shiny-armin · 3 years

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their relationship develops a bit further… than just workwise :3- What do you think it would take for that to happen? Shiping aside there definitely is still some walls there. They don't like to open up to each other about their own problems or deeper thoughts (1146 just happens to eavesdrop/spy on her). I'm thinking either way 1146 is going to have to be the one to push their bond to a new level. 3803 has been the main mover so far and she could be stubborn about keeping things as they are.

2. he was somewhat manipulating her… for her own good, of course! Perhaps if she learns about that someday, I don’t think she’d get mad, but would feel rather disappointed in herself /gasps/- That's honestly very interesting to me. She'd act thankful/happy to him. But you're right, on the inside she'd be sad that such a defining moment in her life was not all on her own like she wanted. Once again 1146 held get hand through it all. That's honestly a interesting part of their dynamic. 1146 is such-

3. mother smother friend. He hates not being able to help someone who's hurting. Particularly someone he cares about or who reminds him of someone he cares about. When it comes to 3803 he showed a lot of oveprotectiveness of her and her happiness. Enough to manipulate and stalk her everywhere. W/only the best of intentions! But still I do wonder if independent 3803 might get irritated at him smothering her or wonder how much he really believes in her like he says he does. Ah couple conflict!

4. My favorite development of 1146. 1146: (when Killer T goes on a long detailed smug speech about why 3803 is going to die painfully while doing her job and she's now terrified) eh, he's probably. Anyway I got a job to do so let's go. Don't slow me down. -_- (Later when Killer T makes the blunt observation she did her job right after being incompetent. 3803 can't hear him) 1146: Hey! Don't you dare speak about her like that! She's the goddess rocking my world! Everyone needs to love her now. =D

5. For some reason I can imagine, after being in a relationship after awhile, 1146 suddenly going from nervous awkward duck when being affectionate and letting 3803 make all the moves to suddenly becoming really forward and bold. He suddenly wakes up with confidence and before 3803 utters a hello he pulls her into his lap like a boss and has a intense makes out session with her. She's so surprised that for once she turns into the flustered blushy one as she goes limp in his arms while he teases her

6. 1146 being the grumpy one among his friends is always funny because on the inside he's so soft and happy. XD For some reason he gets into so many weird situations and because he's more socially awkward he just -_- everything in his sassy grump galore. He's not as easygoing or peacefully resigned to the chaos as 3803 has chosen to become. XD

Hello anon! Sorry for taking so long to answer :( I love fangirling with you about cells jshsshasjas

Okay, if I’m being honest, I can see it in two ways: 1) the author might stretch their development all she wants, since it’s one of the aspects that keep people hooked on the manga (besides the cool concept, sciency stuff and such). So I think it's safe to say that if they're becoming a thing, it'll happen toward the end of the manga, and idk how much that'd take. Since it's got a periodic base, it could go on forever as long as diseases exist lol. And 2) analyzing their current state (I love analyzing ships oh my god), they're still pretty green imo. As you said, they just idle talk most of the time, and don't get in too deep. I also see 1146 being the one stepping up things, otherwise I'd call it a day lmao, 3803 doesn't look like she's gonna do something anytime soon. NEUTROPHIL, SIR WAKE UP!

But still I do wonder if independent 3803 might get irritated at him smothering her or wonder how much he really believes in her like he says he does.- HMMMM that's really interesting *steeple hands*. I think this new side of her might cause her to get mad at him if he keeps acting like a nanny. That is, if she finds out bc she has no clear idea about that. If that ends up happening, well... poor 1146 he'd feel like an abandoned puppy.

That's a strong character development game you got there, sir. Ooooh, he'd become such a bold boy after making sure she'd be okay with all that eagerness he had been hiding out of shyness. His sudden affectionate outbursts would take her by surprise but she'd like them so much, I mean, she gets his aloof boyfriend becoming a clingy mess out of the blue, and that's hawt lol. I think 1146 would be usually submissive around her, but sometimes he’d take the lead for a change, and that makes their relationship exciting for her uwu

1146 is an old git pass it on. Jk, but he's an actual dad. Whenever I see fanart/official art of them, they're all so smiley and flashy and he's just: :l lol, I bet they don't mind because they know him, and know he's the softest of them all. I love the contrast between them. I think that's why it's funnier to see 1146 in odd situations rather than the other wbc's, he feels so out of his comfort zone and acts weird.

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marksburyscripts · 3 years

Text

Episode 9-- Masquerade

Google Doc

Content Warnings: -Mention of suicidal ideology -Choking/suffocating -Cancer

[The Frankenstein house. Very early morning. Victor is flipping through the pages of Caroline’s journal]

VICTOR

There has to be something I’m missing here. Some… key or something. The more I look at it, the more languages I’m able to pick out. Gaelic, Italian, German, Latin, Polish. Maybe more I don’t recognize. If there’s a way to accurately translate, mom didn’t leave any clues on it. I didn't even know she knew so many languages. There's something important here, she-- She knew something. If I can just figure out what, that would explain everything, I’m sure of it. I’ve… apparently been at this all night. I’ve noticed that the sunrise feels different depending on whether you’re waking up to it or just haven’t slept.

VICTOR (Cont.)

I really should try and get an hour or two in. I’m supposed to visit Henry tomorrow. Today? Today, I guess. Old Man Dan gave me some flowers to bring to the hospital for him. And if there’s one unforgivable sin out there, it’s breaking a promise to Old Man Dan. [A small laugh] He's a good guy. When we were kids, he'd always let us play in the woods on his property and leave snacks out for when we were done. He's been checking up on me lately, too. Making sure I'm okay. Sometimes he brings me dinner, if he notices that I haven't left the house in a few days. I really should do something to repay him. ...Henry is doing well. I'm glad, don't get me wrong. Heck, I'm… ecstatic. The doctors say they've never seen anyone recover from something like that this quickly, even if he is starting to plateau. ...I should be happy. But I can't help but think that something is wrong. A miraculous recovery is just… too good to happen to someone close to me. I wanna believe that it's fine, that he's just… lucky or something. But… we don't exactly have a good track record, now do we?

VICTOR (Cont.)

Then there's Christine. She didn't brutally murder me while we were up in Maine, so I guess I can trust her. Unless she's playing the long game. But… [He sighs, annoyed] Erik doesn't seem like the type. I get the feeling that whatever he's planning for me-- If he's planning something-- it will be done as soon as it's ready. ...Or maybe he's just waiting for me to do it myself. [Beat.] He hasn't tried to make contact. Hasn't come to see how much what he has done has broken me. Or if he has, I haven't noticed him. I suppose that's possible. Guess he couldn't have gotten the reputation of a ghost for nothing.

VICTOR (Cont.)

...I-- I need to do something about… this. Me. I've known that for a while now, but I can't keep putting it off. I can't live like this. Scared, numb…. It's just…. There are only two people who know about everything. And they didn't exactly sign up for hearing me drone on about how miserable I am. Even if they say it's fine, that they want to listen. It's not right. They have their own stuff going on. I mean, from Henry’s perspective, Elliot just died, he-- He can’t be taking that as well as he’s trying to make me believe.

VICTOR (Cont.)

Plus… I'm not even sure what half of this is. I'm not going to sit them down and make them listen to me just try to figure it out. I just…. [Sighs] I just wish things were easy. I wish they never got pulled into this. ...I wish Elliot could hold me and tell me that it's gonna be okay. That I don't need to be afraid, because he'll be there with me every step of the way.

VICTOR (Cont.)

It still doesn't seem real some days. Some mornings, I almost go to knock on his bedroom door to see what he wants for breakfast. Then I remember, and I can hardly manage to make myself a coffee.

[There are a few moments as he gathers himself]

VICTOR (Cont.)

He would have been able to figure this out. He would have already pieced together clues that I haven’t even noticed yet. I… went through his books searching for answers. It was the first time I’ve been in there since he died. It felt wrong, like I was betraying him somehow. Snooping through his things without permission.

VICTOR (Cont.)

...Every time I think about him, it feels like time slows down. Like there’s nothing else in the world but me and the memories of him. His smile, his laugh. The way he’d always match the color of his braces to whatever holiday was next. Except in July. Then he’d make them my favorite color for my birthday.

VICTOR (Cont.)

...He was hit hard when mom died, too. He had cancer when he was a kid, before he moved in with us. He told me that seeing that… it really put things into perspective for him. Back then, he didn’t really understand what was going on. Just that he was sick. But when she died, it… it made him realize just how close he might’ve been to death. Back then, I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if I lost him. If I woke up one day and he was gone. Now… I can imagine it pretty well. [He gives an empty laugh] God, he must have been so scared….

[Static begins to fade in as a new figure appears behind him. When she speaks, deep, unnatural noises can be heard under her voice, which sounds raspy and distorted]

WOMAN IN RED

You have no idea what you are part of, do you?

VICTOR

[Overlapping]

B-- Back up! Back the fuck up!

WOMAN IN RED

You have seen what I am capable of. Do you really think that would save you?

VICTOR

Look, I-- I don’t know what the hell is going on, but-- But whatever you were doing outside the bar, and-- and outside my house, and--

WOMAN IN RED

You are a researcher.

VICTOR

What?!

WOMAN IN RED

You are a researcher. You… ask questions.

VICTOR

What the hell are you talking about?!

WOMAN IN RED

I have been closer than you think, Frankenstein. Watching. Listening. You ask so many questions. What I am. What I want. These are impossible to answer. I am a feeling. The tightness in your chest, the throbbing in your temples. The knowledge that something is terribly, terribly wrong, and you are far too late to stop it. I am the last voice your mother heard before my brother dragged her soul into the abyss of Death.

VICTOR

What?

WOMAN IN RED

If I had my way, you would follow suit. But no. Someday. But not yet. For now…. Just a taste of what is to come.

[Victor takes a sharp inhale. It sounds painful, as though he is struggling to breathe]

WOMAN IN RED

We both know how your story ends.

[There is a whistle of wind as she vanishes, the static and other sound disappearing with her. At the same time, Victor gasps for air, coughing and breathing heavily for a few moments]

VICTOR [Still out of breath]

Okay…. Okay, this is bad….

#Season 1 #Episode 9 #Victor Frankenstein #Red Death

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