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#do not recommend! don't be like me. take breaks lol
rocketbirdie · 1 month
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i feel like i failed you.
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not-poignant · 10 months
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Hey there. Do you have any tips on how to stay consistent with writing, and how to stay focused on the task at hand?
Hi anon!
So firstly, I've answered versions of this question quite a few times so you might want to go into the 'Pia on Writing' tag because they'll be there.
A quick look has found:
How to write more words regularly - This one is good for just...straight up practical advice.
But I wanted to speak frankly which is - what works for me might not work for you! We all have different strengths and weaknesses and depending on how we orient towards writing depends on what those weaknesses are. For example, I need to learn how to take more breaks and rest more, and not write as much. The 'writing a lot and sometimes too much' comes pretty easily to me these days.
Not all writers are meant to be consistent writers. I don't have a daily habit and I haven't written anything at all in a week and a half. I have my monthly wordcount and that's it. Someone else might need to write or edit every day, in order to not lose sight of their projects. Someone else might need five intensive days a month. It will depend on their nature, their personality.
Not all writers have the same reasons behind why they can't stay focused on a task. I have ADHD, but I can also hyperfocus on characters and a storyline. Others have ADHD, and cannot hyperfocus on their characters or storyline long enough to finish a story. That's a problem I don't know how to remedy, because I don't have that kind of ADHD, so I've never had to 'solve' it before. Some writers are perfectionists which hamper them, I am not a perfectionist and I'd rather the thing be out in the world with some flaws, than on my computer talking to no one. I need the dopamine more than I need something to be perfect. So you see anon, sometimes the things that impact us just aren't universal, which means you need more specific advice. There will be perfectionist writers who will have lots of great advice, there will be ADHD writers who get bored of a story who have great advice. :D
What I will say is that pretty universally, writing consistently and staying focused are both like muscles in the body. I'm where I'm at today because I've had 9-10 years of practice doing this, and when you start out (which the above link addresses) you will need to aim more realistically and reasonably, and start there.
It's also worth having a really grounded sense of why you want to write more consistently / focus more on your writing. Is it for fun? Is it because you want to finish a project? Is that project something you'll feel good if you finish or are you over it? Is it because you want to make an income? (Have you considered there are approximately 40 billion easier ways to make an income?) Is it because you just want to see if you can do it?
Sitting down and thinking about your motivations here will help motivate you if you can keep your goals in mind. And it will also help clarify what you get out of writing in the first place.
Re: Staying focused. It depends on your distractions. I use music, that helps me. That might be terrible for you. I make sure I'm eating well - the brain needs carbs and fats, and my whole body needs protein and fibre - so I'll have a decent breakfast before starting out. Sleep is important. Drinking regularly is important. There's very basic things here which seem obvious that help a ton with concentration, but if you're not doing them, they're a good place to start. You'd be surprised how much just 'eating balanced meals, drinking regularly and sleeping enough hours' helps with concentration. Like, so much.
A friend of mine uses the Pomodoro method (that would drive me nuts), there's using write-ins like Twitch streams to basically 'body double' with other people who are writing at the same time (I find this very motivational). There's gamification like 4TheWords (love this site). There's 'I get to have a cookie if I write another 200 words.' There's 'actually I've lost focus because this part of the story might be broken and if I just do this the river will start to flow again' as a writing technique.
Mostly, you'll need the time and space to just amass the number of techniques you need to help with both focus and writing regularly. But in all of this, it's vital to be patient with yourself. You can't expect yourself to take a week to end up somewhere that someone else took 3 or 4 years to get to. And it won't be...consistent. Don't side-eye me or anything, but like, we're not meant to be machines, even people who write relatively consistently (like me) need breaks, get burnt out, get tired, are over it, and sometimes need brand new techniques to start working again. Knowing that it's not a linear upward curve of ever-increasing focus lets you also just...be compassionate and patient with yourself.
Oh yeah, because you'll have to get good at both of these too anon. :D Learning discipline and being firm with yourself can't work successfully if you also then mentally punish yourself for not doing it 'well enough' to the point where you don't want to do it anymore. Cultivating the 'I'll try again tomorrow' or 'I did great today!' parts of your brain help a ton with consistency. If you know you're going to be kind to yourself for doing well, and firm but compassionate with yourself when you don't, all of this gets way, way easier.
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holyshit · 1 year
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anons from earlier today ⬇️ (sorry for doing so much tag answering but it’s a heavy topic to me so i don’t want to get too... out there with it lol)
#'not ready' anon#oh yeah i completely agree with you 100%#it's a whole different beast and i really wish she was advised to put her socials on private bc it's gonna get brutal quickly :/#so many aspects i don't like about this rip#'dare i say it' anon#yup exactly- it is a very uncomfortable choice in general from whoever was deciding this#and it doesn't surprise me that probably a bunch of men who are likely involved in this decision would not see how gross it is to actively#choose someone so much younger for him#like i fully expect they didn't recognize that it would be an issue because so many older men don't see an issue with dating women in their#early twenties#so it's very much a disappointed but not surprised moment for me lol#if they really thought this would be a good way to market to his younger fans- there are other! ways! you fuckers!#'answer in tags' anon#don't worry- you are very much entitled to feel that way and i totally understand where you're coming from#different topics are gonna hit different people harder and this is also a big Ick Factor conversation to me because of personal experience#so i 100% understand the feeling of needing to back off. even if this is not a breaking point for you i do always recommend taking steps#back occasionally to cool off and with that distance you can see whether you are still deriving joy from this fandom#or if the stress/things that upset you overrides it#also remember you are always free to dm me off anon if you ever want to have more of a one-on-one conversation about it!#i feel like i can at least give a decent ear since i have experience leaving fandom AND coming back lmao#asks#anonymous
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arolesbianism · 29 days
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Hm. I am getting the distinct feeling that either revanced broke or some apps are doing smth real shitty
#rat rambles#anyways guess who's youtube completely stopped working#It's fine I can watch on browser but it's still very annoying#And the tumblr thing is even more annoying hense why I've been like completely off of tumblr recently#Maybe the universe is telling me to take an Internet break but like I have just been starting to feel a bit better#My family got a new dog the other day btw not relevant to the rest of this post but her name is karla and she's a very anxious doggy#I'm just waiting for laundry rn so that's why I'm posting at all lol#Might have to switch to posting from my laptop soon if things don't get unfucked#Which wouldnt be the end of the world but sure as hell would be annoying#Idk maybe it'll motivate me to finally make a proper blog theme#Idk what Id do for a blog theme tho tbh#An oni theme would be rly fun but it would also probably age poorly (as in the second I get into smth new)#So maybe an oc theme?#That could be fun#Not sure what characters Id use but maybe mascot and/or midas#Idk but chances of me actually doing it anytime soon are slim#Rly if I'm gonna customize anything more it's gonna be my toyhouse page#Oh also good news I'm going to do a pet sitting job for my aunt and uncle at some point#It'll be like 3 weeks I think and I'll be getting paid 700 buckeroos if I'm remembering correctly#I already have a lot of thoughts of how I'm going to spend it even if I should probably try to save at least some of it#There's just a lot of ppl who could use that money more and better than me and I don't wanna be stingy during times like this#I have also might buy like a new game since I've been interested in playing smth new#There has been one game I've been eyeing for a while and I have a mutual who likes it a lot but idk if I'm ready for new blorbos yet#But oldie or whatever her name was calls to me. She tempts me so#I'm open to other game recommendations tho just know that I'm gonna be picky on more story heavy games#Again I'm not exactly on the hunt for new blorbos rn and getting new story hyperfixations is scary to me lol
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arminsumi · 7 months
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ADULT STORE
↳ GETO すぐる + fem!reader
"Oh, see I told you... this product's a bit intense."
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1.5k words
Pt. 2
Summary : product testing with the helpful employee at the adult store!
Warnings : minors do not read/interact : smut/explicit content : using toys, stranger/hookup sex, softdom!Geto, praise, cunnilingus, fingering, dirty talk, squirting, multiple orgasms, sex fantasy trope (sex with the adult store employee)
Note : i haven't made a trip to the adult store in ages bc... everything i want is so expensive lol (the struggle) 😭 i have some rlly funny adult store stories i could ramble about but i will refrain ✋ anyways, indulge yourselves in this fantasy, angels! 😈
Playme : wanna know what it's like?
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The gate of the store buzzes, the employee watches you open it with a clink and enter the adult store. Your eyes flood with the overwhelming sight of wall-to-wall toys.
The smooth voice of the employee comes from behind the cash register.
"Yo."
Long hair. Dark, brooding look — almost gothic. Attractive hands with pronounced veins running over the back of them, poised on the countertop which he's lazing over.
He sees you and slowly straightens out his back out to impress you with his height.
"Ah, h-hello..."
He hears you stutter, and assumes it must be your first time in an adult store.
"First time? I mean, in an adult store, that is." he breaks the ice.
"Haha, y-yeah... yeah, it's my first time."
Yeah, that's what I thought.
He holds hard and deep eye contact with you. Yes, he's aware of how intensely he stares. He's doing it on purpose.
"Would you like some assistance, or do you just want to leisurely browse by yourself?"
His tone is so friendly, it doesn't let on to how heated his abdomen is getting at the sight of you.
"Yes, please, I'd appreciate your assistance."
Aw, of course.
"M'kay... then let me assist you."
He smoothly comes out from behind the counter and the two of you stand in front of a wall of toys.
"Overwhelmed?" he chuckles, noting how your eyes widen while looking at all the products. "I know there's a lot to choose from. But just focus on your needs. What do you need?"
"What do I need? Honestly, I have no idea what I need." you laugh nervously.
I know exactly what she needs...
"Well, why don't we carefully go through the products together? I'm sure I can figure out what you need. Promise I know my stuff. I've been working here for three years."
His nonchalance and professionalism puts you at ease. It's something he prides himself on: making customers feel relaxed.
Your eye catches on a pink dildo, so he takes it off the rack to show you up close.
"This one's good, it's got a ribbed design." he shows it off. "Are you looking for just penetration or clitoral stimulation?"
Aw, she's flustered.
"Uh, both I guess? Yeah. I'd love both."
Of course you'd love both. That's what you need, pretty girl.
"Both? Come over here. Let me show you something you might like."
There's a flirty tension between the two of you that just keeps getting more and more... intense.
He plucks a curvy vibrator. It looks expensive. Because it is expensive.
"This one's got ten functions—"
"—ten?! Sounds a bit extra."
"Nothing's too extra when it comes to your personal pleasure."
The two of you share a long look, then laugh.
"But it really is an excellent product."
"Are you advertising?" you joke teasingly.
"Absolutely." he jokes, "Kidding. I'm not trying to come across as a preachy marketer or something. I've used it with partners in the past, that's why I'm recommending it; I know it's good. It's a pretty intense toy. Helps girls squirt even if they think they can't."
I could make her squirt.
He's running his eyes up and down your body.
"Is that so...?" you mumble flirtatiously, eyeing out the product in his veiny, manly hands.
"Hm, still a skeptic? Because I'm sure I could please you."
He hopes that you note his deliberate use of 'I' and not 'it' there.
"Yeah. I'm sure you could please me, too." you flirt.
A heat erupts in his abdomen and stomach.
Oh wow... now she's really flirting, huh? Why'd I wear tight pants today of all days...
He has an unwavering gaze on you. You've captivated him. Put him in some kinda horny trance.
"Did I say me? Sorry. Slip of the tongue." he murmurs, voice dropping lower, "I meant the vibrator." he obviously lies.
You and him exchange a suggestive, longing look. You can feel your pussy clench around nothing, begging to get stuffed up and pleasured.
He hesitates before speaking again, as if he's scared of crossing a line and making you uncomfortable.
"If you want to... we could test it out together?" he suggests. His nonchalance is an act, really he's so nervous when he asks this.
"I'd love to..." you consent, and he doesn't miss the erotic excitement in your tone.
He nods towards the backdoor, eyes keeping on you and your cute little body that he just wants to feel and squeeze like a toy itself.
"Promise to keep your lips sealed about this? I don't wanna get fired for uh... you know... demonstrating products... to my pretty customer."
"Only if you promise to help me squirt for the first time."
Oh wow. Fuck. I'm hard.
His lips widen into a devilish grin. "Sure thing."
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After a sloppy, desperate make out with this stranger, you find yourself sat on the couch in the breakroom. Door locked. Blinds shuttered closed. Legs spread wide to his liking, as he cushions the vibrator into your plush slit.
He's rubbing it slowly up and down your folds. He watches your reactions intently, breathing heavier at the sight of your pussy squishing under the pink dildo. The buzzing sound fills the room, but your moans are louder.
He clutches the toy gently, massaging the bulbous head into your clit with sweeping circular motions.
"F-fuck... that pretty clit feels good, doesn't it? Yeah? Let's get it feeling even better."
He turns it up a notch. It buzzes harder against your sensitive nub.
"How's that? Haha, yeah, intense, isn't it?
"Yeahhh — Fuck! Ohhh that's so good, that's so — oh my goddd fuckkk. S-sorry I think... I'm gonna cummm — !!"
"It's okay. Cum as hard as you can, yeah? I want you to get a good idea of how well this toy can pleasure you before you buy it, after all. Oh there we go... just let go and... f-fuck... wow... j-just cum like that. Fuck... that pretty clit feels so good now, huh? Gonna cum? Gonna cum for me, with a vibrator on your cunt?"
He takes note of your reaction to his dirty talk and smirks. Then he slyly turns the toy's setting higher and it buzzes more intensely, and in one... two... three... seconds, you're squirting like crazy all over the pink vibrator and his hand.
Holy shit, look at that pretty pussy gushing... she could drench my dick. I wanna be inside her so fucking baddd...
"Oh, see I told you... this product's a bit intense." he regains his professional tone after you cum.
He turns the toy off and watches you come down from your shaking orgasm, smug look on his face. He keeps it clutched in his veiny hand, and brings it up to his lips to suck and lick up all your juices from it.
She tastes so fucking good... I feel dizzy.
You watch him with wide eyes as he tastes your slick off the toy.
"F-fuck... wh-what did you s-s-say your name was again?" you stutter, starstruck by this stranger.
You're so fucking dizzy, your pussy is buzzing like it still feels the intensity of the toy against it.
"Hm, wanna know my name?" he smiles teasingly, "How about you cum on my face and then I'll tell you."
"Fuck, okay."
And then as soon as you give him permission, he's hungrily diving between your thighs.
"Oh my god..." he loves how you gasp and writhe under the influence of his mouth.
Let's see how fucked-out I can get her. Wanna see her lose her mind 'cause of me.
His lips latch onto your labia and suckle, then onto your clit. He points his tongue at your clit, then oh my god flattens it and laps at your bud while suckling. His softness shows a hint to tenderness in his personality; he really knows how to treat a woman well.
This stranger spoils your pussy with his tongue and lips. He seems to be in his own little world while nosing between your thighs. He carelessly gets your juices smeared across his cheek and lets the rest dribble down his chin.
"Fuck fuck fuck — like that, like that. Don't stop don't stop — !! 'm gonna cum! G-gonna — fffffffucking cummmm ahhhhh — !!"
He flicks the tip of his tongue against your sensitive bundle of nerves, eager to make your pussy freak out on his mouth. Just before you cum he slips two fingers into your hole, middle and ring, and pumps them into a sweet spot hard. He just wants to get an idea of the feeling of your pussy when it cums.
Suckling at your clit, fingering you with nice hard rough strokes, closing his eyes like he's the one enjoying it meanwhile he's silent and you're moaning like you're going insane. He can tell you're close and speeds it up.
"Cum cum cum, cum for me. Just let go and cum." he sounds so desperate, and that professional tone of his is finally cracking. "Cum on my fucking face, please."
And he dives his tongue right back into your hole, wriggling his tongue around, resulting in the nastiest wet squelching sound. His lips press flat against your pussy, he draws in a deep breath and your heat is all he smells.
Please cum on my face. Please please please.
"Ah! Fuck! Fuckkkk!"
You gush right on his lips, which are plump and swollen and red and glistening with your slick.
He pulls away and licks his lips and tells you his name.
"Suguru, by the way. My name's Suguru. Hey... can I give you my number?"
Oh he's so smooth. But he's even smoother at the checkout, when he asks if you're free this Friday for a date. At his apartment. With the company of some of his favorite toys.
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© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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nohaijiachi · 7 months
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I got randomly recommended this video by YT and wrote a ginormous comment in response because I have no self control, apparently, so I thought I might as well also share my thoughts here in regard to whatever is going with THIS FUCKING SMILE
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(under a cut to not clog y'alls dashboards)
(the first part of the comment here is a direct response to some of the ideas put forth in the video, it is very short so give it a quick watch for more context if you want)
Imo it's not necessary to look into overcomplicated theories that rely too much on off screen shenanigans to explain the smile, for how amusing the idea of them having swapped during the kiss is (like, the kind of stuff I won't want to be actually canon, but I'll be very happy to see explored in fan fics lol)
I think to fully explain that smile we have to take in consideration multiple factors:
This show is very purposeful in what it does and doesn't, well... show. That last shot is very long and I think the fact that Aziraphale's and Crowley's expressions in the aftermath of their disastrous break up is shown in such a manner tells us a LOT about the state of mind they might be at the start of S3, and the obstacles they'll have to face. Aziraphale doesn't immediately smile, rather he seems to look almost shell-shocked for most of the shot; it's clear (to me at least lol) that the quiet ride up the elevator is finally giving him some desperately needed time to fully digest everything that happened, because too much has happened in an extremely short amount of time, and we all know Aziraphale doesn't do well with speed lol.
But, for how much he can sometimes be a complete moron, he is smart, and all he needs are just those seconds of quiet to properly ponder on everything, on the choices made and the ramifications of said choices, and that's how we get to smile-- I'll delve into what I think Aziraphale is going through in his mind in more details later, because I also think it's necessary to focus a bit on Crowley's own expression, since the both of them are so intrinsically linked that the narrative cannot make sense without taking the both of them into account.
Crowley's expression is much more static and doesn't change the way Aziraphale's does; he looks profoundly tired in ways we've never seen him before. I don't think he's giving up on Aziraphale, and I fully believe the fact that he stood there and waited for Aziraphale to disappear in the elevator, the both of them sharing that last look, was a quiet message: He'll never give up on Aziraphale, he'll be there, waiting. But wait is all he can do for Aziraphale, now, because he can't follow where Aziraphale is going.
For how messy and full of heightened emotions the confession + kiss are, I think actually denying Aziraphale's request was a HUGE step forward for Crowley's character. He's never been able to deny Aziraphale, he always went back to him after every fight, and we all know how stupidly whipped for Aziraphale he is and how he'd empty the ocean with a spoon if Aziraphale asked him nicely-- But to actually put his foot down and say "no, I cannot do this for you" when asked to all but renounce the person he is now? Especially with how Aziraphale is all but begging him openly? That's a huge step, and something I think Crowley desperately needs to mature as a person (or, well, person-shaped being). We all love how Aziraphale has him wrapped around his little finger I'm sure, but we also all know that if they truly want to build a strong, healthy relationship they also both need to be able to keep their individuality and to put forth adequate boundaries about what they are willing to do for each other within reason.
Asking Crowley to come back to being an angel when he's made blatantly clear for six thousand bloody years how much he despises Heaven is not a 'within reason' request, innit?
So, yeah, for how heartbreaking the break-up was, in a sense Crowley needs it. They both do. They both need time apart to figure their own shit out, dismantle all those unhealthy habits they had to adopt in order to be with one another as safely as they possibly could while still 'employed', and then come back together with a clearer mind and a whole deal stronger than before, both as individuals and as a couple.
And I think how tired and downtrodden Crowley looks in that last shot is a precursor to this process, just as much as Aziraphale's smile is... So, let me get back to our favorite angel and what I personally think is going on with him.
I think to properly contextualize that smile we need to look at not just the happening of those infamous last fifteen minutes, but of S2 as a whole, and what Aziraphale does in it.
So, what is Aziraphale doing during S2?
At the start he seems to be more or less comfortably settled in his current life; he's as happy as ever doing what he's always done, enjoying humanity's creativity with his books and his music and his food and drinks, seemingly content to be puttering about in his bookshop (which is a stark contrast with Crowley's homelessness and his kinda adrift and depressed attitude). Of course then Jim!Gabriel throws a wrench right into that, but imo I think there was a lot more going on behind the facade of Aziraphale's well ingrained habits.
Sure, he still has all of his familiar comforts and his routine, but from the moment we see him interact with Crowley I saw a deep restlessness emerge in him: The panicked look he launches Crowley when Nina asks him about his 'naked man friend', the way he speaks with Crowley with all those 'our' he uses, the blatant way he keeps reaching over and touching Crowley-- To me that suggests that Aziraphale is clearly not as happy as he seems to be on a superficial glance. He clearly wants more with Crowley, wants to bring their relationship to the next step, but because the both of them are so deeply entrenched in their unhealthy coping mechanisms and habits and their inability to openly communicate it doesn't even occur to Aziraphale to just... You know. Take the first step, actually say something about it. So he just keeps throwing bait after bait in the water, hoping Crowley will bite and be the one taking the initiative as he's always done, finally allowing Aziraphale to accept said initiative, this time around.
Of course, we all see that Crowley doesn't take any first step, which is probably something deeply frustrating for Aziraphale at a subconscious level. That's how we get the ball; sure, on the face of it it was Aziraphale's way to make Nina and Maggie fall in love, but... Was it, really? Let's be real, for how entirely believable it is that Aziraphale makes up the lie about Nina and Maggie's love to cover for their miracle is, since we've seen him being anxious around other angels, I don't think for a second that had Aziraphale just stopped and spent three minutes thinking about it he wouldn't have found a way to convince Muriel that Nina and Maggie were, in fact, in love, especially with how 'green' Muriel is about humans.
I fully believe that Aziraphale is not properly thinking during S2, period. He's frustrated by his inability to bring his and Crowley's relationship to what he wants it to be, and that frustration and single-minded objective is utterly obfuscating his thought process. There are plenty of moments he seemed almost manic, imo, which I read as another sign about his 'impaired' (allow me the term) state of mind as of S2.
So, yes, the ball: On the face of it something to actually turn his lie to the Archangels into truth, but deeper down, perhaps almost unconsciously, I think Aziraphale sees the ball as a way to finally make him and Crowley happen. That fact that he's taking pointers about romance from human literature is blatant, and obviously he truly does believe the ball will be THE way to make love bloom.
If you stop and think about it, the ball scene is terrifying. These people are being manipulated to play the perfect background parts to make, what is in Aziraphale's mind, the height of romance atmosphere happen. The fact we get a juxtaposition with Nina's "what the F is going on, am I losing my mind???" rightful attitude underlines this. And I truly believe Aziraphale isn't exerting said manipulation with intent, but rather doing so subconsciously, because he's just so fixated on the idea of having finally the perfect set-up to have Crowley as he desires that he is influencing everything around him. After all, we all know they both have the tendency of making things happen the way they want simply by thinking that's how things are supposed to happen.
And again, he's so manic and giddy when he asks Crowley to dance, his ass is not LISTENING. He literally needed a brick thrown through a window to snap out of it.
So, in the present we have an Aziraphale who , in his own way, is trying to take the initiative, come out with plans. There is a moment that I think might have slipped under the radar of a lot of people but that's frightfully important about who Aziraphale is at this point in the story, and who he will need to become: "I have a plan," Aziraphale said to Crowley during the stare down with the demons outside of the bookshop after the ruined ball; Crowley didn't even seem to have registered that sentence at all, because his mind is already projected forward and going a mile a minute about what to do to keep both the humans and Aziraphale safe in this situation.
Crowley, who loves to swoop in and save Aziraphale, doing what he's always done to keep his angel safe, even to the detriment of their relationship with one another... And Aziraphale, who adores playing the part of the damsel in distress in turn, is actually telling Crowley that *he has a plan*.
That's not something to take lightly, methinks. That's very much just another sign that Aziraphale's individuality is struggling, trying to emerge through Aziraphale's anxiety and doubts and fears and deeply ingrained habits. Aziraphale's cognitive dissonance in regards to heaven, and his shaken faith in God are huge motivators of his actions, and in the grand scheme of things the scant few years he had away from under the oppressive thumb of heaven is nothing. It was barely any time at all in the face of the eternity of an immortal life spent under that oppression, and yet we are already seeing little glimpses of Aziraphale's rebellious side struggling to get fully free.
I think these little glimpses inform us at great lengths about the evolution Aziraphale's character will go through in S3, and greatly explains that strange smile right at the end; in my opinion that smile isn't the smile of someone who's trying to convince himself that he's ok, or realizing that Crowley loves him (he knew already, they both knew and have known for a long time, their inability to properly express those feelings was their downfall, but I don't think either of them has doubted even for a second when it comes to how much they love one another). In my opinion that smile is the smile of someone who is steeling himself for what he envisions in his future; equal parts old-sedated anxiety and yet determination to actually enact plans he's surely concocting in his brilliant little mind. That's the smile of someone who has just realized that not only they can, but that they need to do something, and you can damn well be sure they won't be sitting and twiddling their thumbs waiting to be saved, but they'll be the one saving themselves and everybody else along with 'em, this time.
Just as Crowley needs to actually spend some time define himself as himself, and not just in relation to Aziraphale, Aziraphale needs to spend some time shedding all those fears and doubts that are weighing him down, and emerge the other side someone much more self-assured and ready to do what he thinks is right without all the hesitations that have indirectly been strengthened by Crowley; in a way, by allowing Aziraphale an out with his 'temptations', Crowley had been feeding into those hesitations, and had been holding Aziraphale back from fully maturing, even if not done on purpose, obviously. Imo is very important for Aziraphale's character that he comes to realize that he doesn't need those excuses Crowley gifted him to keep doing what he thinks is right, that he actualizes his own morality properly, and enacts on it.
I don't have the faintest clue about what is going to happen in S3, but I do fully believe the above paragraph is what Aziraphale and Crowley's respective character arcs will focus on. And once they'll come back together they'll be the most power couple that has ever power coupl-ed, and the Metatron will have no clue about what is about to hit him >:)
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jymwahuwu · 14 days
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Hi! Really love your stories they always scratch my brain (*≧∀≦*)❤️, so I got an idea and wanted to ask what you think about it
I got this question with Sunday on the minigame/event (idk what to call it lol)
"Just as you're about to pull a dusty hard-leatherback book, you hear a gentle whisper within earshot, "Averoy Rosewood's works are notorious for their obscurity," the Oak Family Head Sunday faintly smiles at you. "Perhaps you need more elaboration."
(I couldn't put the image since anon asks don't allow me to put images😮‍💨, but it's from a Board Encounter in Cosmodyssey)
and when I read it my brain immediately went WHAT IF SUNDAY FILLS THE READER WITH A VIBRATOR ON THE LIBRARY, and him just watching in amusement as he talks about books and asking her questions about them while he plays with the levels of vibrations with a control on his hands and she just struggles to make sentences, so he goes and asks "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" To tease her and remind that she's in a public space and can't make much noise unless she wants everyone to know about what they're doing.
Hmm... I wrote this about Sunday, but I feel like maybe it could be about Jing Yuan or Aventurine 🤔, anyways sorry if it sounds weird my brain sometimes goes into unga bonga mode when I think about these men.
Sincerely,
An unhinged anon.
Thank you for telling me. I experienced this event and read the content of Sunday helping us in the library!! Wrote a little bit, I hope you like it 💗🫶
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cw: yandere, non-con, abuse of power, abuse of credit, vibrator, harassment
How about you being the librarian at The Family Library? A nerdy librarian. The Family claims that this is a library open to everyone to read and borrow, covering a variety of books and hologram collections.
Sunday, the leader of the Oak Family noticed you. He can accurately talk to you about your interests, hobbies and ideals, and encourage you…but one thing is that you are not religious enough in your belief in harmony. You are too withdrawn…and cannot integrate into The Family. Sing hymns, participate in activities, and protect The Family, others can do it, but what can you do? He cannot allow you to continue in this position under these circumstances. You panicked, grabbing his sleeves and pleading with him through tears. "W-what, I really believe Lord Xipe…I need this job badly! Please Mr. Sunday…"
He offered a plan. He used his gloves to push a delicate small box in front of you. You must put two vibrators in your underwear while on duty to test your professional abilities. If you can tolerate sinful sexual pleasure, you qualify for this position.
"But… Mr. Sunday, can I-can I take a break?"
"Of course. I'm not here to torture you. This is for your and everyone's happiness and harmony, I hope you understand." His words ignited the hope in your heart. "You have 2 hours a day to take them down. Allocate your own time. After get off work, you head to my office and I will check on your progress. You must do this every working day."
"Check?" Your heart sank into the starry sky and was crushed. "Okay. Mr. Sunday..."
These two vibrators… are pearl white and have an angel wings pattern on them. It's silent, but it delivers a surge of pleasure to your private parts, sometimes fast and sometimes slow down. It's not much better when it's slow - it's a long, quiet torture that gives you no relief. You kept your legs still and sorted your books and documents, your underwear getting wet. Every half minute, you check like a hawk to see if you have wet your clothes, fearing that it has become a joke in the eyes of others…
He occasionally wanders into the library to check on your work and ask you to recommend books in a certain category or answer questions about the collection.
"What's wrong? Are you feeling uncomfortable?" Sunday approached you with caring eyes and ruthlessly pushed the controller frequency to the highest level. You lowered your head, holding back tears, your legs trembling. "I-I'm fine. Mr. Sunday. Thank you for your concern."
This kind-hearted gentleman and leader offers to take you to another secluded corner of the library to rest. On the road, Sunday dials down the vibration frequency and doesn't crank it up until you get to the corner. The intense ecstasy immediately hits you to the extreme and stimulates your nerves. You endured your moans, trembling in Sunday's arms as you reached orgasm. His hands caressed your hair like a lovable pet. He commented that your ability to endure needs to be improved.
After you get off work, Sunday asks you to take off all your clothes in the office and fold them on the table. He uses white gloves to inspect and rub your private parts, circling them with his thumb. In the watery light, those fingers slowly inserted between your legs and twitched. He clicked his tongue in disappointment when he realized that his fingers were already wet enough to slide into the inner walls before being inserted. "Not religious enough, are you? What are you thinking about? You're letting pleasure take over your body."
"...I'm sorry!! Mr. Sunday, Please give me a chance…" you begged with a sob, then cummed hard at his disappointed sigh.
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nerdyqueerandjewish · 2 months
Text
7 Types of Rest
I've been reading a bit about this and jotting down some notes because the framework is helpful for communicating my different kinds of exhausted and gives me ideas on how to help myself more, and idk I thought I would share because I think other people might find it useful or interesting. I don't have just one article on it to recommend because unfortunately they are almost all trying to sell you their telehealth services or a meditation app or whatever.
**Disclaimer that resting isn't going to fix everything, examples of things to do aren't going to be accessible to everyone, they are just meant to be a start to brain storming, this is not medical advice etc...**
Physical - Relates to activities that are physically restorative
Mental - Relates to taking a break from mental stimulation
Spiritual - Relates to the fundamental need for belonging, purpose and acceptance
Emotional - Relates to being able to experience and express your real and authentic feelings
Sensory - Relates to giving your senses a break from stimulation
Social - Relates to feeling energized by spending time with people who contribute to your life in positive, supportive, and meaningful ways
Creative - Relates to appreciating beauty or feeling awe/wonder
Notes I made for "signs you need x type of rest" and actually getting that type of rest are under the cut. Again, they are personal so take them with a grain of salt. Also some of my notes on things I could do would definitely apply to others. I didn't want to keep writing "go outside" and "journal" for over half of them lol.
Physical Rest
Signs you may need physical rest
Feeling fatigued, body aches and pains
Feeling mentally sluggish or foggy
Getting some relief
Prioritize getting good quality sleep
Go on walks or engage in other gentle physical activity
Stretch throughout the day
Getting a massage (maybe trade with a friend or partner?)
Improve the ergonomics of your workspace
Mental Rest
Signs you may need mental rest
Unable to concentrate or recall simple things
Unable to relax
Racing thoughts
Getting some relief
Schedule breaks throughout the day
Write things down (can help racing thoughts or things you're worried about forgetting)
Do a satisfying activity that doesn't require much thought (example: coloring pages, simple craft)
Spiritual Rest
Signs you may need spiritual rest
Feeling lack of purpose or belonging
Getting some relief
Get involved in local community
volunteer
pray or meditate
Emotional Rest
Signs you may need emotional rest
Feeling weighed down
Stifling/suppressing feelings
Strong need to please others
Getting some relief
Talk to someone who allows you to be your authentic self
Participating in a peer support group
Journaling
Sensory Rest
Signs you may need sensory rest
Feeling energized at the start of the day, but becoming more irritable as the day progresses
Getting distracted by noises other people seem to be able to tune out
Getting some relief
Use dimmable lighting or lamps
Regularly set notifications to do not disturb
Use power strips to easily turn off multiple appliances at once
Avoid running loud appliances during busy parts of the day (ex. if washing machine is loud, don't run it while you're trying to pack and get out the door on time)
Social Rest
Signs you may need social rest
Feeling drained, exhausted
Feeling like your only interactions are with people who want/need something from you
Getting some relief
Nurture life-affirming, meaningful relationships
Make time for socializing with friends who don't "need" anything from you, where you can just enjoy each other's company
If you know you will be interacting with someone you find draining, make a plan to engage in social rest after
Creative Rest
Signs you may need creative rest
Feeling "blah"
Struggling with problem solving or brainstorming
Getting some relief
Go out in nature
Spend time in inviting spaces
Listen to music
Watch a skilled performer
Display items you find visually appealing in both home and work spaces
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misc-obeyme · 29 days
Note
(inspired by the barbatos makeup asks) imagine barbatos choosing which lipstick he should wear for the day, his choice being which lipstick he think would look best covered all over your face from his kisses
alsdfklsdfj anon how can you do this to me???
I'm so sorry. I had to write a drabble about this.
So here it is, Barbatos choosing his lipstick based on what would look best all over your face. There is making out and more is implied, but that's all. It's just a drabble but wow am I tempted to write full on smut about it lol.
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GN!MC x Barbatos
Warnings: Uh... making out, implied further activity, lipstick? Does that last one need to be listed? I dunno.
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Barbatos looks at the array of lipstick colors neatly lined up on his bathroom counter. Most of them are neutral colors, just enough to add a little something to his lips on regular days. He has a small group of other bolder colors that he keeps for special occasions.
There is no such occasion today. Not unless he counts the fact that you'll be coming over to the castle later. Something that he would not normally take into consideration. But he knows how things are likely to go and his mind won't stop flashing images of his lipstick against your skin.
Unable to stop himself, Barbatos reaches for one of his bolder colors. He applies it meticulously, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand rather than daydreaming about smearing it all over your face.
Barbatos goes through his day as he always does. He takes care of Diavolo, who mercifully doesn't comment on his butler's unusual choice of lipstick color. In fact, the only one who says anything about it at all is Asmodeus, which isn't surprising. He unleashes a little squeal before complimenting Barbatos on his choice and listing several recommendations he has for Barbatos to add to his collection.
For the most part, Barbatos is free to go about his day in peace, only allowing his mind to wander if he happens to catch his own reflection.
Before you arrive, he takes the time to touch up his face and hair, deliberately adding just a little more lipstick.
If you notice, you don't say anything. Barbatos makes you tea, but doesn't drink any himself. He doesn't want to mess up his carefully done lips by leaving marks across a teacup.
You say something about that, though. "You're not drinking any tea. Are you okay?"
Barbatos feels himself blush. "Forgive me, MC," he says. "You needn't be concerned. I simply-"
"You don't want to mess up your lipstick, huh?"
Barbatos's blush deepens. He stares at you in surprise, unable to respond at all. Was he really so obvious?
You put down your teacup and smile. "Waiting for me to mess up it for you, right?"
Barbatos is a very patient demon. He is able to remain calm and collected at all times. It seems the only thing that can cause him to act unexpectedly is this human. After spending the entire day attempting to suppress his thoughts of you, the remarks you make being so spot on breaks through the dam.
In moments, Barbatos has you pressed up against the castle wall. He presses his lips to your neck and pulls away to see the mark of his lips there against your skin. The sight of it causes heat to pool inside his gut, but he continues. He leaves a trail of lipstick along your neck and jaw until you finally catch his lips with yours.
Things get messy fast and he can taste the tang of his own lipstick when your tongue collides with his. You're gripping the back of his shirt with surprising strength and his hands on your hips squeeze hard in response.
With a gasp, Barbatos pulls away to breathe. He looks at you, slumped against the wall, mouth open, face and neck covered in that special shade he chose that morning.
Barbatos smiles fondly. "Just as I thought, this particular color compliments your complexion quite well."
Now you're the one blushing, but Barbatos isn't finished.
He tightens his hold on you even more and says quietly, "I would like to see how it looks decorating the rest of your body as well."
The next morning, Barbatos contemplates the line of lipstick colors once again. He was quite satisfied with the outcome of the previous day's choice. Your slumbering form still in his bed was a testament to that. And though he would choose one of his usual neutral colors for today, he knew that if he ever wanted to communicate to you his desires without speaking, he need only choose that same shade again.
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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transmasc-advice-blog · 4 months
Text
Binding
Binders
I found that Spectrum Outfitters worked best for me (prices range from $50-$39). I also have binders that are older and stretched out or that don’t work as well (like gc2b) that I use when I don’t need as flat of a chest because they are easier on my rib cage lol. If you do that, do NOT count that as a break!
Practice safe binding!
Don't bind for more than 8 hours
Don't sleep in a binder
Don't exercise in a binder
Get the right size
Try to only wear a binder for 5 or 6 days a week (this one is hard, I know)
If it hurts, take it off!
If you notice bruising, something is wrong! Your binder might be too small or you may be wearing it for too long.
TransTape
Wearing binders all the time is not too good for you so I recommend using a variety of different binding techniques. One is TransTape!
The reason Ace bandages are unsafe is because as you breathe it gets tighter and tighter and can really hurt you. But TransTape doesn't do that, it's like the tape athletes use when they sprain their ankle or something. It's safe as long as it is used properly. Plus, you can wear it for up to 5 days, exercise and sleep while wearing it, and it's water proof!
TransTape isn't the only brand of course, but they do have a lot of great resources.
Learn more at their website here. I recommend starting with this page and the FAQ.
KT tape is another option if you cant afford/arent allowed to order TransTape. You can find it at most drugstores and box stores for relatively cheap. The adhesive isnt as strong as TransTape, keep that in mind when applying.
Men's Compression Shirts *I have not used these myself (yet) but I hear they work pretty well*
Made for cis men with gynecomastia but hey we can use em. Obviously will work much better for smaller chests, but could still do something for bigger chests, maybe for under a hoodie?
They won't flatten you as well as binders but the goal is more to masculinize the shape of your chest than to completely flatten it. They are also safer than binders.
Other stuff
The color black will make you look flatter
Layers! Lots of layers! (don't overheat)
Sports bras
Compression bras
Button ups <3333
Resources
Pain-Free Binding Techniques | Youtube Video by Arthur Rockwell
Binding 101 - Point of Pride
Binding Safely - Spectrum Outfitters
How to Hide Your Chest (without a binder) | Youtube Video by Iris Olympia
Binder Care - Spectrum Outfitters
Please free feel to add!
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hansoeii · 9 months
Note
Several things: -LOVE your art, it’s amazing! Especially the one with Crowley and Aziraphale under the umbrella - which software do you use? Your art always look SO gorgeous (cheeky quote from GO right there lol) - how did you get so good at drawing?And thank you for encouraging other people to keep drawing and being so kind as I sometimes can’t help but compare my sketches to others and feel silly, but I guess it’s just a learning curve… Thank you so much for bringing your art to the world!😊
Thank you so much!!
I use Clip Studio Paint for drawing and Photoshop for small adjustments!
2. Haha thanks! Honestly...it's the hyperfixations. I managed to improve a lot in just a year because I've been drawing SO much cos there's so many shows and movies I became obsessed with that I wanted to create art for. So by drawing a lot I just naturally improved. For example these two Illustrations are just a year apart:
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I actually didn't actively try to improve, it's been a while since I did proper studies (I just don't really have the time for it between freelancing and art school), it just happened.
But I can absoluetly recommend going on YouTube and look for some art tutorials if you actively want to start improving! There's some channels that helped me so much back then:
moderndayjames
Incredible shape language and super insightful tutorials on all kinds of topics! I learned so much from him.
Ahmed Aldoori
So many awesome tutorials on so many different areas of art. Love it.
Marco Bucci
Incredible tutorials on color theory and understanding how color works in general! Learned SO much from him!
Sinix Design
The OG tutorials I began learning from. I watched his videos religiously as a teen. I adore his painterly style and adopted it in some way, haha.
Ethan Becker
This dude sometimes drops these tiny art tips that just completely blow my mind and that I adopt immedietly. He's super entertaining but also such a great teacher.
And I can also recommend checking out this book by James Gurney if you want to get better at colors!
And for anatomy I highly recommend the Morpho books!
But improvement doesn't only come from drawing a lot. A lot of the time I don't draw for a while and just study the world and artists around me and suddenly I improved when I get back to drawing. Don't ever overwork yourself to the point that you don't enjoy what you do anymore. Take breaks and listen to your body!
I learned to try and not compare myself to other artists, which helped a lot. Through conventions and social media I made so many lovely artist friends and realized how we're all struggling in a very similar way. A lot of us don't even really know what we're doing most of the time, haha. But we help each other out, it's such a wonderful community. I think when you're not actively part of the community it tends to feel like other, more successful artists are some kind of art gods that have perfected the craft and never struggle. But believe me, all the artists you admire go through rough times all. the. time. Sometimes what they do feels easy and natural, other times (more often than not) it feels like you have to try and learn how to walk all over again and you start to doubt your abilities. I personally go through that so many times.
So what I'm trying to say is that instead of comparing yourself to the artists you admire, learn from them instead. Ask questions, befriend fellow artists, study the artists you enjoy and just have fun with it!
And finally I thought it would be fun to share some of my horrendous Johnlock fanart from a decade ago for some motivation:
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I hope my answer didn't overwhelm you, but I thoight it would be nice to give a more detailed answer!
Have a wonderful day and keep drawing! :)
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starsval · 10 months
Text
wonderland
remus lupin x reader
summary: you and remus find wonderland, or, you fall in love, even if it's not perfect.
word count: 7,7k
warnings: remus has a mullet because i said so, kissing, mentions of s*x lol, like, it happened, reader is pureblood so the cruciatus curse ig, punching, remus being mean, reader gets called a b*tch, lower case intended, no use of y/n
a/n: this took forever and i don't even think i like it, but still, thanks to @myriadmoons and @aastonishment for helping me writing this, love u<3
btw idk why i called this wonderland, it was originally called dancing with our hands tied but i didn't end up writing someone that fit, and for some reason there were lyrics of wonderland on the top of the document since i've been writing it so yeah
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"how's my favourite girl doing?" sirius talks as he puts an arm over your shoulders, just as james takes the book out of your hands. 
"sirius black and james potter talking to me when we're not at a pureblood party? what's happening?"
"don't be mean, you know we love you" james replies, putting the book behind his back, so you wouldn't be able to get it even if sirius let you go. 
"we realised we rarely talk to you, which is sad because you're one of the only pureblood people we actually like" sirius then lets you go to play with your hair as he talks. 
"so, we wanted to invite you to the party we're throwing tonight, at the gryffindor common room" james says, but he quickly looks behind you and his friend. 
"you invite me to a party, so we can talk?" you ask, taking advantage of james' sudden distraction when regulus walks past to take your book back. 
"yes, we want to get to know you" sirius is the one who talks now, unaware of the reason his friend suddenly stopped talking
"okay, i'll see you there" you tell them, walking away. 
"what? really? was it that easy?" sirius asks, shocked. 
"yes, i'll see you there, bye" 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
"they don't know that you always go to the parties?" lily asks as she puts on her earrings, looking on your mirror. 
"i tend to hide from them" you tell them from your bed. 
"why?" she questions, you shrug, unable to give her an answer.
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
"so, what's your type?" sirius finds you while you were choosing something to drink. 
"what?" you ask him, accepting the drink he recommends you. 
"what kind of person do you like, men, women, tall, short?"
"tall skinny men with messy mullets, when it looks like they'll break if you breathe too hard on them?" sirius' eyes seem to light up with your answer. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
"she's just like you, she likes books and stuff, i swear you'll like her" sirius insists, following remus through the hall, heading to the library. 
"books and stuff? that's all you know about me?"
"i'm telling you i found your soulmate and you care about that?"
"yes."
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
you were in the library, focused on your book when three people sat on your table. you look up to find sirius, james and who you know is called remus, maybe your eyes focus on the last one for a bit when sirius talks. 
"we need help" he says, pulling out a book. 
"what?" you ask, uninterested in anything they have to say. 
"we need help, you're like the smartest person we know" this time james is the one who talks. 
"and why would i help you?" 
"because you're a good person?" you don't change your expression "and we'll buy you chocolate the next time we go to hogsmeade"
"help with what?" this time, the boy that caught your eye talks. 
"we need to learn how to do this charm" he points to the book, and maybe you look at his hand before reading the words he's pointing to. you also notice how sirius and james smile when remus talks. 
"why would you need to know how to turn someone's clothes pink, permanently?" you ask, they all look at each other before looking at you. you sigh "why would i know how to do this?" 
"i'd quite fall in love with you if you did" sirius talks. "but you're smart, you'll be able to learn it" you start packing your things. "is that a yes?"
"what do i win?" you ask, already standing. 
"chocolate" you start to walk away, leaving the book there. "we'll give you alcohol at the next pureblood party" you smile before grabbing the book. 
"i'll tell you as soon as i get it"
they all hear you say goodbye to peter before he sits. 
"why did she talk to you?" james asks. 
"we're friends?" peter explains, getting started with his homework. 
"soooo… do you like her?" sirius asks remus, who just rolls his eyes before getting up. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
the next time he sees you, you're walking to him, who's reading at the library. you put the book with the charm before him, and quickly sit besides him. 
"i know how to do the charm… " you wait for him to introduce himself. 
"remus, remus lupin" he answers, putting his book aside. 
"remus, right" you talk, like you didn't know his name before. 
you explain how to do it, and after he gets the theory right, all there's left to do is practise it. 
"i'll do one of his socks and you'll do the other one" you point at snape, who has glared at you since you've been here. 
"i didn't expect you to be like this" remus says, smiling, before slowly pulling out his wand. 
"what did you expect?" 
"i don't know, sirius and james don't usually talk about you"
"i wonder why" you smile, before quietly charming one of snape's socks, turning it bright pink. "your turn"
remus copies your actions, successfully turning snape's left sock pink. you look at each other, quietly laughing, and quickly pack your things so you can walk out before he notices. 
you walk next to him in the hallway, though neither of you know where you're going. 
"what do you need the charm for?" you ask him. 
"we're pranking someone" he explains. 
"should i be scared?" you question and he chuckles. 
"no, your clothes will be safe"
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
the next time you talk, he's the one who approaches you. 
"can i sit here?" he points at the chair next to you "i want to study but they're being to loud" you nod, and you talk as he sits. 
"why don't you do a silent charm on them?" he chuckles. 
"they'll find a way to be even louder" 
and that's how it starts, neither of you know why, but since then, we you enter the library, you immediately look for each other. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
"you're the one who did that research on werewolves aren't you? teachers don't stop talking about how good it is" some guy asks you as he stands in front of you, the table in between you two. 
"yes" he was one of those pureblood guys, who only cared about their status. 
"you didn't talk about them being bad people" you stare at him, trying to find out why he's telling you that. "i just thought you'd like someone to tell you about your mistake"
"it's not a mistake, they aren't bad people" you tell him. 
"well, then you're wrong, they're obviously bad" he rolls his eyes, like it's obvious that he's right. 
"did you just come here to talk shit about werewolves?" you focus on your homework, mentally aiming in case you have to throw something at him. 
"no, i came here to see if you were a respectable pureblood, but let me guess, you fight for elves' rights too?" he seems upset with you, but he doesn't leave, instead, he looks at you like a challenge. 
"what, you want me to join your cause too and fight for arseholes' rights? maybe we should put your face on the banner so they know how one looks" you smile sarcastically at him. 
"what is wrong with you? i just wanted to let you know that werewolves are bad and you're being a bitch" he seems actually upset, his superior grin gone now. 
"oh, so you were looking out for me? what would I do without people minding my business? now just shut up and maybe look into your prejudices instead of my life" you stop looking at him. 
"how can you think that they aren't bad? i thought you were smart" now he seems offended that you aren't like he imagined, but maybe he thinks that he can change you, because he smiles again. 
"sorry to disappoint you. and, something can be dangerous but good at the same time, just because they have claws doesn't mean they'd stab you, but maybe a girl who’s been bothered by you will" you say, as his eyes go to the pen on your hands.
“did you just threaten me?” he has the audacity to look offended as he talks.
“i don’t know, did i? a bitch like me wouldn’t know” you smile, faking innocence.
"you’re fucking crazy” he mutters as he turns around.
when he leaves -not before insulting you again-, neither of you notice a certain tall guy, with scars on his face and a knitted sweater standing around a bookcase, listening to all the conversation.
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
you don’t know how, but james and sirius convinced you to hang out with the marauders, maybe the mention of some boy with honey eyes and a mullet, but still. you find yourself on the gryffindor common room, listening to them as they tell you about their best pranks.
and remus must’ve sensed that you’re cold, because the next thing you know is that hes handing you his sweater.
“what?” you ask him
"you're cold" he shrugs. 
"but, what about you?" you question, not taking the sweater. 
"i'm fine, just put in on love" you obey, thanking him before looking back at james and peter, acting as you're not noticing sirius' smile. 
when you finally get up to go back to your room, while peter, james and sirius are too distracted talking to frank, you take of the sweater and hand it to remus. 
"what?" he asks, frowning. 
"it's yours" 
"you can give it to me other day"
"but i won't need it"
"love, just let me have an excuse to talk to you" he tells you, and you stop for a moment before answering, not believing him. 
"you don't need an excuse to talk to me" he smiles. 
"keep it anyway" 
"if you insist" he kisses your cheek goodbye, and that night you're only thinking about him. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
"please just this once" james asks, and it looks like he's actually going to beg you to help them. 
"i don't have time for pranks" you walk away, and the four marauders immediately follow you. 
"you just need to distract him" sirius talks, walking to stand in front of you. 
"and why would i do that?" you ask, going around him. 
"because you appreciate our friendship?" this time is peter who talks, and you actually think about it for a second. 
"i don't-" before you can finish, remus intervenes. 
"love, just this once, okay? then we won't bother you" and you know it's not true, that they will bother you. but every doubt you had disappeared as soon as he talked. so you nod. 
"where is he?" 
and that's how you find yourself talking to binns, asking him about his class, solving questions you never had. 
then you see remus walking towards you, looking so innocent, and you keep nodding at binns, like you're so interested in what he's saying. 
when he turns around due to the sound of an explosion that you definitely had no idea about, remus walks next to you, grabbing your hand, and suddenly you're running down the hallway next to him. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
remus’ face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching as you giggle.
“why are we hiding?” you ask, a smile not leaving your face and his hand not letting go of yours.
“because, certain friends of ours are bothering me" he closes his eyes, his forehead on yours as he talks. 
"what if they're not bothering me?" you joke, sarcasm in your tone. 
"oh, so you're saying I dragged you into this cupboard?" he pulls away, his hand on your chest as he acts offended. 
"yes, i didn't expect this behaviour from you, lupin" he rolls his eyes at the mention of his last name, as you laugh. 
"then leave" he challenges, but his hand doesn't let go of yours. 
"ok" you say, but you don't move.
when you walk out of the cupboard, both of you hear people talking. 
"do you think they're dating?"
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
you're just peacefully lying on your bed, reading a book remus had lent you when someone opens your door. you assume it's one of your roommates when that someone approaches you, grabs the book from your hands, and turns you so you're on your back. just to lie on top of you. 
"hi" you say, not sure what to do when he puts his head on your chest and closes his eyes. 
"hi love" he replies. and after a while he lifts his head, grabs your hand and puts it on his hair. 
"what are you doing?" you question him. 
"touch my hair" he demands, and you don't, just to mess with him. 
"what if i don't want to?" you smile, and he groans. 
then, when he notices that you're being serious, he puts his head up once again, this time to glare at you. 
he repeats his actions and puts your hand on his hair, and closes his eyes again. 
"don't move"
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
"what did you do?" you ask remus as he sits in your bed. 
"they were talking shit" he says as you go to the bathroom to look for the first aid kit you keep in there. 
"you got into a fight because they were talking shit?" you stand in front of him, in between his legs. 
he doesn't answer, instead, he winces when you start cleaning his face. 
"remus?" you insist, waiting for an answer 
"yes?" he acts oblivious, though it doesn't last much, as you start cleaning his face again, you mutter a quiet sorry before talking again. 
"why the fuck did you get into a fight?"
"they were talking sh-" you glare at him. 
"lupin"
"last name basis?" he tries to smile at you, but you turn his face to the side so you can look at the bruise forming on his cheek. 
"yes, answer" he sighs before talking. 
"i told you, they were talking shit" you keep glaring at him until he talks again "they were talking shit about you"
you stop moving for a second, processing the information. 
"you got into a fight because they were talking shit about me?"
"yes" he stares at you, waiting for a reaction. 
"are you fucking stupid?"
"maybe that wasn't the reaction i expected" he mutters to himself. 
"you are actually stupid" you don't talk again, you just focus on cleaning his face, which means he has a lot of time to talk. 
"what did you want me to do? i just couldn't stand there as he was saying how you were a bitch and shit like that" he groans when you don't answer "i warned them, i said that if they didn't stop i'd punch them"
"oh, you warned them, how nice" you reply, sarcastically. 
"don't be mad at me, please" he wraps his arms around your legs, and puts his head on your stomach. 
"what do you want me to do?" you put your hand on his hair. 
"i don't care, just don't be mad at me"
"oh, so i should just congratulate you? thank you so much remus for defending me, should i kiss you to show my gratitude?" 
"you could kiss me, not because of that, but you could" you don't even acknowledge him as you walk to the bathroom to throw away everything you used to clean his face. 
when you come back, he's in front of you, touching your cheek as he talks. 
"you're not gonna say anything?" he asks, as you try your best to not look away from his eyes. 
"about what?" he chuckles, but doesn't move his hand away from your face. 
"about the fact that i said that you could kiss me" you fail your goal, because your eyes immediately go to his lips. and of course, he notices. 
"what do you want me to say?" you ask, rolling your eyes at his smirk. 
"i think the question is what i want you to do"
"you just got into a fight" you remind him. 
"just because you're mad doesn't mean you can't kiss me"
"i know"
and you really know, so you kiss him. and it starts as a sweet kiss, slow, just to prove that it's real. but then one of his hands goes to the back of your neck and the other cups your jaw. 
your hands go to the back of his neck, finding balance when he pulls you closer to him.
you pull away for a second, breathing heavily as you look at each other's eyes. 
"we shouldn't do this" you remind him. 
"i know" he says, slowly walking so you have to walk back. 
"i'm still mad at you" you tell him, sitting in your bed, looking up at him. 
"i got into a fight because of you and you say that?" he smirks, pushing you so you have no choice but to lie down. 
one of his knees rests in between your legs, his hands on both sides of your head. your hands go to the back of his neck again. 
"you wound me" he tells you, before kissing your neck. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
you had plans today, it was friday and you had no classes after lunch, so you were gonna start getting ready and maybe drinking with the girls before going to the party the gryffindor were hosting. 
but those plans got a bit ruined when you got a letter from your family during lunch, which usually meant bad news. 
you don't really remember a lot from the letter, all you know is that you had two choices: marrying barty or getting disowned. 
after reading the letter, all you can do is put it in your pocket and try to stop the tears coming from your eyes. you don't even look at your friends or at the food that remus put on your plate. instead, you think about the words you just read. 
"i have to go" you suddenly get up, grab your things and walk away, not noticing the concerned looks on your friends faces, especially on remus'. 
they all stare at you as you walk out the great hall.
you find an empty hall and sit in one of the windows, finally letting out the tears. you don't long how long you stay like that, but suddenly someone walks next to you. 
"hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay" all you notice are the tears running down your face, and remus' arms around you. as he holds you and tells you that everything is fine. 
once you calm down, he waits a bit to ask
"what happened? do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, and you don't even look at him, not wanting to see the worry in his eyes. 
"no, it's okay" he seems disappointed with your answer, but doesn't stop rubbing your back "thank you" 
"it's nothing" he tries to find something to say, something to comfort you, but before he can even think of anything, you get up. 
"you're going to the party, right?" you look at him, drying your tears. 
"are you gonna go?" he asks, frowning. 
"yes" he seems a bit surprised, because now you're smiling. 
"then yes" you smile even more at his answer. 
"i'll see you there" you give him a quick peck on his cheek before walking away. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
the next time remus sees you, you're dancing, lily and marlene next to you.
he stands away for a bit, not in the mood to dance, but when he sees you're gonna refill your cup for the fifth time since he has been there. he decides to approach you. 
"hi" he says, standing next to you.
"hi remus" you smile at him, drinking from your now full cup. 
"how many of those have you had?" he asks. 
"i don't know, seven, maybe eight? who cares" you tell him, holding his hand and dragging him to the dance floor, but he quickly redirects you to one of the sofas. 
"i do, you're gonna pass out if you keep drinking" he says as he tries to get the cup from your hand, but you quickly move your hand away and frown. 
"i'll be okay"
"no you won't"
"i'm not even that drunk"
"you saw sirius and called him reggie" you smile, remembering the horrified look in sirius' eyes. 
"they look alike" you shrug.
"you should stop drinking"
"i'll be okay" he tries to reply, tries to tell you that maybe you won't, but you get up, and before he can even stand up, you get lost among the people. 
the next time he sees you, you're on the couch, head in your hands as you try to stop the tears from your eyes. 
remus sits next to you. a hand on you back as he leans to see your face. 
"are you drunk?" you nod "do you want to go to sleep" you nod, so he gets up and holds your hand, making your way through the crowd. 
once you reach the hall, he doesn't let go of your hand. he notices that something's wrong, he notices that you haven't complained to sirius about being in a pureblood family, like you do each time you receive a letter from them. he notices that you're trying not to cry. he notices that you're barely holding his hand, maybe it's because you're drunk or you're too sad to. 
and he wants to say something, he wants to help. but he decides to wait until you're in your room. he helps you get your makeup off and change into your pjs. he's folding your clothes while you're sitting on the side of your bed when he hears smalls sobs. 
he immediately sits next to you, drying your tears. 
"it's okay, everything will be alright" he hugs you, mentally cursing when you shake your head. 
"you don't get it" you tell him, in between sobs. 
"then explain it to me" he says, wondering if it's the same thing as what happened at lunch. 
"i can't" you sigh, pulling away from him as you dry your tears. 
"yes you can, i want to help you" his hands go to your face, holding you. 
"you can't-" you insist, putting your hands over his. 
"please let me help"
"remus-"
"i don't care if it's hard, i want to help" he insists, staring at your eyes. 
"let's sleep" he knows better than to insist more, so he just lets you sleep. 
when you wake up, you don't talk, you just walk with him to breakfast, and when you're finished, you walk away, not letting him know where you're going. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
"i don't know what's happening in between us, but-" you look away from his eyes "i can't do this"
"what?" he asks, praying that he's dreaming, or that it's a bad joke, praying that you're not breaking up with him, even if you're not together. 
"what did i do? what happened?" he tries to find your gaze. 
"you didn't do anything, i just can't" i have to marry someone else. 
"let me fix it, whatever i did, let me fix it, you can hate me but don't go away" 
"i'll probably leave school as soon as i can" you admit, you don't even know why, you just don't want to disappear without explanations. 
"what? no, you can't leave" he panics, he looks around trying to find someone laughing at him. he doesn't. 
"i'm sorry" you talk, unable to look at his eyes. 
"don't, please, don't apologise" he says, grabbing your hands, in case you want to run away. 
"i'm so sorry" you repeat. 
"you don't have to do that" he insists, because he doesn't want to lose you. 
"i don't want to hurt you" you tell him, thinking about the letter your parents just sent you, thinking about your future, which is already decided, not by the stars, but by your family. 
"then stay, stay here, with me" he pulls your hands, so your bodies are closer. 
"you know i can't" you lament, even though he doesn't know that much. 
"yes you can, you just have to try" he suddenly lets your hands go, taking a step away from you. and you try to get mad at him, but you can't, not when he's looking that hurt, hurt by you. 
"remus-" you try to get him to listen, maybe if he gives you a chance, you'll show the letter to him, you'll explain everything to him. how you have no choice but to listen to your parents. 
"are you even sorry? you don't seem to have tried to stay" you know he doesn't mean it, he knows he doesn't mean it. but it's better that way, it'll be easier if he's mad at you. so you don't answer. you just stare at him.
"you're not gonna answer?" he asks, tears on the corner of both of your eyes. "i thought you liked me" you swear you can feel your heart break as the words leave his mouth. 
"i do-" he cuts you off. 
"then why don't you stay? is it just a game to you? you wanted to play with me?" he keeps talking, he tries to stop, he wants to, but the hurt in his heart makes him keep going. 
"i didn't, remus, it's not that easy" you tell him, begging him to understand. 
"i never said i wanted things to be easy. especially not with you" he fights the urge to walk away, thinking that maybe there's a chance that you'll change your mind. 
"i don't want to hurt you" you repeat, maybe more to remind you than to him. 
"you're already hurting me" 
"you have to understand"
"when you defended werewolves from that guy you already knew i was one didn't you? maybe he was right and you're a bitch after all, did you tell him that just to shag me?" he doesn't even blink as he talks, pretending he's not mad at himself right now, even more than with you. 
"you don't mean that" you say as the tears fall from your eyes. 
"oh, i do" that's what it takes for him to finally walk away, letting the tears out of his eyes. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
you couldn't focus, it was all too much. the pain from the unforgivable curse, the sadness from your own family doing that, the realisation that you could never go back to your house. 
all you could do is try to not pass out as you walk to the potter's mansion. 
once you reach their door, and ring it, you wait. you don't know if it was ten seconds, ten minutes or even ten hours. all you know is that when james opens the door, you practically throw yourself at him, who catches you as he calls for his parents. 
"i'm sorry" you whisper in between sobs. 
"it's okay, you'll be okay, everything's going to be fine" james tries to not show the concern on his voice, he really tries, but everyone must've sense it, because remus, sirius and peter quickly appear, staring at you as effie kneels down next to you. 
when you finally pass out, all you know is that it hurts, everything hurts. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
you wake up with effie folding clothes next to you. 
"oh hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" she immediately sits next to you, touching your forehead to check your temperature. 
"good" you answer, quietly. 
"you have clothes here, you can take a shower and i'll make dinner" she walks to the door as you sit up. 
"effie, thank you so much, you don't have to do this, i'll be okay"
"we'll talk later" she doesn't give you room to talk, instead, she leaves after giving you a smile. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
effie and fleamont sit in front of you as you eat, staring at you and then at each other.
"we want you to stay here" fleamont is the first to talk as soon as you finish eating. 
"what? no, i can't, i'll find somewhere to stay"
"no, you'll stay here, we have your room ready" effie insists. 
"i can't" 
"sweetie, there's no way to stop this now, the faster you accept it the better" fleamont talks as effie gets up and tells you to follow her to show you your room. 
they leave you a moment to see your room before walking in. 
"thank you so much" you say before they hug you, drying your tears before they fall on your face. 
"it's okay honey, you'll be fine" they assure you before walking out of the room. "and, by the way, the boys are sleeping, we'll tell them to come here when they wake up, they're really worried"
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
he thinks it's unfair, remus thinks that it's unfair that you're talking to peter like nothing happened, that you're playing quidditch with james and sirius like you weren't crying in his arms just a few weeks ago. he thinks it's unfair that you haven't even glanced at him. he thinks it's unfair that you look like nothing ever happened, he hates that you're acting like everything it's okay, like you're not hurt by your family, by his words.
he also thinks he's being selfish, by slightly hoping that you're as hurt as him. that you think of him as much as he thinks of you. he hopes that you also have the urge to go to his room in the middle of the night. he hopes that you're as jealous as he is when someone starts flirting with you at the party james organised at his house. 
but he also thinks that none of it it's possible, that you look way too happy to be thinking of him, that if you're planning on getting drunk, you definitely don't want his help. 
he doesn't know if it was between staring at you as you flirted back with that guy, or when he was searching for you while you were nowhere to be found. but he gets drunk.
and suddenly, all the doubts he had about you disappear, because you're next to him, rubbing his back and asking him if he's drunk. and you wouldn't help him if you hated him would you?. 
he just stares at you as you hold his hand and make your way through the crowd, not so kindly pushing people who didn't move. you help him through the barrier james magically applied on the stairs so no one but his friends could walk upstairs. 
when you reach his room, you help him walk to his bed, which is kinda difficult seeing his stumbling tall figure. once he is in the safety of his mattress, you walk to the door, but his voice stops you. 
"i can't sleep with my shirt on" when you turn around, he's smirking. 
"then take it off" you turn your back to him again. 
"i need help" when you turn around, not before rolling your eyes, he's giving you puppy eyes. 
remus lupin. is. giving. you. puppy eyes. 
"you aren't that drunk" you don't even move from the door. 
"yes i am. you're really gonna leave me here, drunk and defenceless?" he lies back on his bed. 
"are you trying to blackmail me?" you frown, leaning your back onto his closed door. 
"is it working?" he asks, hoping it does. 
"no" he sighs, before leaning on his elbows to look at you. 
"c'mon love, just help me take my shirt off" you don't answer, instead, you just get closer to him, and help him sit up, once he is, he doesn't move, he just looks up at you. 
"you're not gonna put your arms up?" you groan, frustrated, when he just smiles at you. 
after a few minutes of work, due to his boycott, you finally take his shirt off, throwing it aside before walking away. 
or that's what you try, because before you can even turn around, his arms are around you. and you don't know how he's so strong, or why you didn't try to fight back more, maybe it was the alcohol. but before you notice it. you're on the bed next to him, and he's hugging you so tight that you have no choice but to fall asleep. 
when you wake up he's still hugging you, luckily not as strong as last night, so you can get up and slowly walk to the door, quietly closing it and making the way to your room. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
remus is almost convinced that it was a dream, he thinks he imagined everything when he wakes up and you're not there, he thinks it was his mind tricking him when you sit next to marlene at breakfast. even though he purposely left the sit next to him free. 
he's basically drowning in his tea when marlene says something that makes him look at you. 
"where were you last night? you left soon" he stares at you, noticing the way your eyes linger at him for a moment before saying that you were tired. and it would be childish for him to admit that it made him happy, that he doesn't even notice the hangover now, that he's smiling so much that even effie asked him about it. 
and it would be even more childish to admit that he's been giving james the idea to throw another party just before holidays end, that he doesn't need to invite anyone, just the group of friends it's okay. and who is james to say no to a party?. 
he spends more time that he wants to admit staring at you. as you talk to lily and mary, as you almost make sirius drop his drink, as you hug james. and especially, as you ignore him. so he does what he knows will make you talk to him, getting drunk. 
it follows the same order as the other night. you approach him, lead him upstairs and help him get ready to bed. 
"why did you leave?" he asks, holding your wrist after you tried to walk to the door. he sees how you think about the answer. and to be honest, he didn't think he was ready to hear it. 
"because that's what a bitch would do" you break free from his grip and walk to the door. he just stays there as you go back downstairs. 
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
the next morning, no one knows why remus looks so miserable, why he's being so grumpy to everyone, except you. why he's putting food on your plate, why he's making everyone put on the movie you want to see. 
they also don't know why you're ignoring him, why you offered the plate to james, why you changed your mind and told marlene to decide what movie to watch. 
but you knew, you knew because you've been listening to him apologise every other minute, you've been listening to him knocking on your door every night. you've been reading his apology letters. 
but that wasn't enough, because just two days before classes start again, he decides that he's had enough, and that he won't leave before giving you a proper apology. so he follows you to the kitchen when everyone is focused on the movie. and he stands on your way to the door so you have no choice but to listen. 
"i didn't mean it, and you know that, you know i'd never think that. and i know it's not an excuse, but it was days before a full moon, and i wanted to hate you, i wanted to hate you for making me love you and then leaving me. and i wanted you to hate me because i wouldn't be able to be around you. and i'm so sorry, i'll do anything to take it back, i need you to understand that i didn't mean it, and that i'm so sorry i ever made you feel bad. there's no day i haven't thought about you, about how much i miss you, about how i ruined everything. so please, give me a second chance, i'll apologise every minute if i have to, i'll do anything for you to forgive me. because i don't think i can stand the thought of what we could've had if i hadn't ruined everything." he takes a deep breath "i'm so so so sorry"
and you know that you shouldn’t, that he’s hurt you as much as you’ve hurt him. but you’re both teenagers, you both make mistakes, and you both miss each other. so you do what everyone would’ve done in this situation, and hug him, breathing him in.
“does that mean you forgive me?” he asks.
“yes, i’m sorry” you close your eyes, your head in his chest.
“you have nothing to apologise for, love”
“yes i do-” he cuts you off by pressing a quick kiss to your lips.
“let’s just go to sleep”
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
you don’t know why james drags you from the kitchen, where you were talking with everyone, to your room, with the suitcase half done on the floor. you don’t know why he slams the door. or why he’s staring at you like you told him you forbade quidditch.
but then he talks.
“did you forgive him?”
and you remember the conversation you had with him after spending a few nights here.
“weren’t you two in love?” you’re on his bed, still not used to your new room, you’re both laying on your backs, him throwing his snitch and catching it.
“who?” you ask, staring at the ceiling.
“remus” he says it like it’s obvious, and it actually is.
“i don’t know” you shrug. 
“what happened?” he asks. 
“i ruined everything” you explain. 
“that’s not true” he frowns. 
“how do you know that?” you chuckle. 
“you wouldn’t ruin anything” he says, so sincere. 
“i was supposed to marry barty” the snitch falls and hits his face.
“what?!” he immediately sits up. 
“so i told him i couldn’t do whatever we were doing" 
"and he just accepted it?" he's frowning even more. 
"he was sad at first, then mad, but he stopped talking to me, so it worked" you shrug again, and he gets closer to you. 
"mad?" 
"it's okay"
"i know how remus gets when he gets mad, did he say something to you?" he looks worried, already thinking about punching remus. 
"nothing to bad, the normal when the person you're in love with and it's in love with you dumps you for no reason" 
"what's the normal?" he questions. 
"james, it's okay"
and with that beautiful flashback, you come back to an angry james in front of you. 
"don't dare to move, i'll talk to you later, let me have a chat with remus first" he tries to get out of the room, but you stop him. 
"james wait" 
“stop trying to defend him, and don’t try to walk away, you won’t move until you tell me everything” he stands in front of you, arms crossed. 
"james let me explain" 
"you want to talk? talk, i'm not leaving until i know everything" he sounds determined, and you know that he won't stop until he knows everything. 
"there's nothing to know, just leave it" you insist. 
"what did he say to you?" he takes at step, so he's closer to you. 
"james-"
"what did he say to you?"
"james, stop"
"now, i won't stop until you tell me what the fuck he told you, and why you're together with him after that"
"because it doesn't matter, it's already over"
"it doesn't matter?! you're saying it doesn't fucking matter? after weeks of seeing you miserable, and because of him?" he pinchs the bridge of his nose. "honestly, if you're not going to tell me what he told you, then don't even bother talking"
he tries to walk away, again, but you stand in front of the door. 
"what's the point? i already forgave him, so, what are you going to do, make me leave him?" you question him, praying that he doesn't actually say yes. 
"you don't know what i'm willing to do for you happiness" he tries to walk past you, but you don't move. 
"please don't be mad at me" 
"then tell me what he said to you" his eyes soften, looking at yours. 
"why? what are you going to do about it?" 
"it depends" he avoids your gaze. 
"james."
"maybe punch him" he looks away. 
"james" 
"please tell me what he said" he asks, this time softer. 
and you don't know why, maybe it's the look on his eyes, or the fact that you know he wouldn't let it go until you did. but you say everything to him, from how you approached him, how you were both almost crying, how he walked away. 
and it takes him a moment to react, he's sitting in your bed, and you immediately get up to stand in front of him. 
"james…" he gets up. 
"i need to have a chat with remus" he tries to walk past you, but you don't let him. 
"james."
"what?"
"please, just, stay here with me. you can help me pack" you give him your best puppy eyes until he agrees, sitting on the floor next to you, passing you clothes as you put them in your suitcase.
‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
and it all looked perfect. it seemed like james had already forgotten everything by the time dinner is ready. and it seems like he's really happy when he suggests to watch a movie. 
but then something changes. maybe it was remus' hand on your tight, or the fight scene on the movie. but the next thing you know, is that there's a fist right in remus' face. and that fist belongs to james. 
"you said you wouldn't do anything!" you immediately get up, putting yourself in front of remus, while sirius and marlene pull james back. 
"i had to!" he says. 
"james!" you fight the urge to roll your eyes. 
"i'm sorry! but i couldn't help it! i had to do something about it!" he explains. 
"about what?" lily asks, and you stiffen, looking at james with wary eyes. 
"yes, about what?" james asks you, and you glare at him as mary and peter take care of remus' face. 
"about nothing" you immediately say, backing up as they all stare at you. 
and they're complaining about it as soon as you say it, but remus stops them. 
"about me hurting her" no one knows how to react, you just stare at him as he stretches his neck. 
"you fucking hurt her?" lily talks, walking towards him, and it seemed like she had the intention of repeating james' actions. so you step in front of her. 
"it's all forgotten, there's no reason to punch anyone" you stare at james "especially when you promised you wouldn't"
"i'm sorry-" he tries to apologise. 
"it's okay, i deserved it" remus talks. 
"no you didn't?" you tell him, but he just smiles at you. 
"i'm going to sleep"
you all stare at him as he walks upstairs, and when you turn around they're all staring at you. 
"if i forgave him, you can do it too" you say, especially looking at james. "so, i hope you apologise to him, because he deserves it"
when you get to remus' room, he's looking at himself in the mirror. 
"i'm sorry" you sneak in front of him, hugging him as you put your head in his chest. 
"why" he chuckles, hugging you back. 
"what do you mean why, are you stupid?" you questions him. 
"love, it's not your fault" he smiles as you narrow your eyes at him. "i deserved it" 
"shut up" you immediately pull away from him, storming out of the bathroom. 
he grabs your wrist before you can walk out of the room, and as soon as he gets it his arms are around you. 
"don't be mad at me" he pleads, and when you don't answer, his lips go to your cheek. "please" 
when you don't answer he just keeps kissing you. 
"please"
this time is your other cheek. 
"cmon love"
your forehead. 
"just talk to me"
your nose. 
"please"
your lips
"love" 
your neck. 
and you know that he'll start going lower if you don't stop him. and you know that if he does you won't be mad anymore. so you pull away from him. 
"you're stupid, remus lupin" you glare at him "if you ever say that you deserve any hurt ever again i'll be the one punching you instead of james. and i'll also cry" 
"why would you cry?" he genuinely asks, putting one of his hands on your cheek. 
"because you don't deserve anything bad remus. you're literally an angel" 
"don't say that" you frown at him, and he looks away. 
"remus, i mean it"
"i know" he puts his forehead on yours "that's why i don't want you to say it"
"why?"
"because it's gonna make me love you even more"
before you can answer, he's kissing you again, this time for real, when he pulls away, he stares at you. 
"i know everyone already says that we're dating, but can we make it official?" his hands are on your cheeks, and he thinks that he's never been more nervous in his life. 
"i'd love to" this time, you're the one who kisses him, and you stay like that for a while, in each other's arms. before someone knocks on the door. 
when you open, you find james on the other side, with regret in his eyes. 
"can i talk to remus?" you narrow your eyes at him as remus appears behind you. 
"it's alright love" 
you go to the living room with everyone, and before you know it, james and remus are walking in, talking and laughing. 
everyone stares at them as they get closer to the couch. 
"what?" they ask, staring back at you. 
"everything's… fine?" lily asks, and when they both smile and nod, everyone smiles and cheers, a bit exaggerated. 
remus sits next to you, putting and arm around you and kissing you. 
and if before they were dramatic, now it's like their favourite team won the quidditch world cup.
"what?" this time remus and you ask, staring at them. 
"you just kissed?" mary says, not believing it. 
"yeah?" you answer. 
"why" marlene asks, narrowing her eyes. 
"we're dating" remus says, and the night ends between cheers, screams and hugs. 
sirius and james even cry a bit, hugging each other while saying "finally!" "we did it!" 
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comicaurora · 3 months
Note
These have been pent up for a while, so there's a whole list lol. Some are Aurora, some are not.
1) Can lacrimas carry out multiple purposes at once? Or will they blend them? I'm assuming that this is possible, considering that the automaton in the ruins was using a lacrima as a brain
2) Has anyone tried to make tools or weapons out of lacrimas? I'm talking like chisel that needs no hammer. Or maybe a Fire lacrima on a bow that sets your arrows on fire
3) Can you engrave runes on lacrimas to make them affect themselves?
4) Where can I read more about the Twins? If I'm not wrong they're the creator gods, aided by the Light dragon and the Void dragon to create life, but I might be getting a wrong read on that
5) Since we see Erin successfully become the first Void mage, does that now mean there's potential for him to make a Void lacrima? The dragon probably won't allow it, but still
6) What exactly does elemental corruption of each element do? Fire literally burns you up, as we saw in Arc 1. I can infer that Life likely makes you a chimera. Void corruption makes you a cave crawler. But what do the other one do? Does Earth make you a statue? Does Wind disintegrate you, Thanos style?
7) Now onto the non-Aurora questions, is your art vector or raster? I believe it's vector, but it's always better to confirm
8) What are your opinions on reading into the environment and the character design to infer things about the character themselves? In any type of media
9) Have you played Baldur's Gate 3?
10) Do you have any music that you'd recommend? I've listened to every song I liked so many times that I hate them now.
11) I'm new to Tumblr, anything that I should know? You don't have to answer this one if you don't wanna. I think I know some of the basics already. Reblog what you like, and avoid the terfs, right?
You might be able to tell that I like the idea of the lacrimas a little bit. Just a teensy bit. The artificer in me definitely isn't obsessed. I appreciate any answers you can give :3
Cheers!
Ooh, lots of stuff!
Yes, it's possible. A lacrima can be engraved with multiple spells, set in a casing engraved with commands, or some combination of the two. Typically, all spells engraved directly on a lacrima will activate at once when the lacrima is "switched on", but a spell can be quite complex, and conditional activations are possible - "if-then-else" statements, basically.
Yes, magic items exist.
Generally no. If the lacrima is disrupted or broken, the spell generally stops functioning, so a self-affecting lacrima will run only as long as it takes for the lacrima to distort or break.
There's an extra lore page about them!
He probably could if he wanted to (and the Dragon allowed it) but Void energy is very dangerous, so he likely doesn't want to.
Each form of elemental corruption agitates the presence of the element in the mage's body. Earth corruption can damage or alter bones, encourage unhealthy petrification of soft tissues, etc. Wind corruption can have physical effects but it often most obviously produces breakdowns in the person's ability to speak or understand language. Lightning damages, numbs or intensifies a person's physical senses.
Raster, I draw with CSP's digital pens. I've only very briefly experimented with vector art - I don't like how it simplifies the lines.
I think it's a fun school of analysis but, like all literary analysis, it runs into trouble if it tries to lock down exactly what the writer was thinking or intending (which is an objective fact that one can be incorrect about) rather than trying to analyze the story on its own and what meaning might, intentionally or unintentionally, be factoring into it.
Nope
don't trust my taste in music it's 90% nu metal and sonic OSTs
Like what you like, reblog what you want, generally it's considered dubious form to add a comment to a reblog unless you have something profound to contribute (commenting in the tags is fine), steer clear of discourse and callout posts and generally the sectors of the site that are constantly on fire, blocking someone for any reason is 100% fine
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cosmicstarlatte · 1 year
Text
Devil-Mart ⭐ (Obey Me!)
━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━
You got hired at mega retailer, Devil-Mart⭐. Naturally, the guys "suddenly" need a job too and start working alongside you.
»Characters: Demon Bros + Bonus Dia and Barb
»Tags: Humor, Bulleted Style fic, Gender Neutral Reader/MC
»Notes: How about shopping with them?-> [Devil-Mart: Shopping]
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Lucifer:
"...Mammon put us in debt this month."
Was worried you'd be bullied (or eaten) surrounded by demons/other monsters
Is that coworker who acts like a boss
Actually does make it to management within the first week
The customer isn't always right. He's the manager to call for rude customers
Actually likes stocking, finds neat aisles soothing
The home improvement dept is his favorite
Frequently makes sure you take all your breaks
Doubles as store security if needed
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Mammon:
"I just needed extra cash alright?"
Was worried you'd fall for some other demon
Failed in all departments except online orders (he's very fast!)
Bags for orders would occasionally go missing
Took extra long breaks but Lucifer caught on and wrote him up
Would try to frequently visit you in your department
Started fights with other workers who were busier staring at you than their work
"They're not meat, beat it!"
Got fired for trying to steal electronics
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Levi:
"Theres a lot of new merch releases coming up soon!"
Didn't want to be the only one left out so he applied...plus you won't see him anymore!
Electronics department ONLY
You won't find him cross trained anywhere else, he refuses
Is actually really good with upselling
Can be aggressive if you don't go with his recommendations
Has received a few complaints for that reason
Tries to match his breaks with you since that's the only time he really gets to see you
Was the one who tattled on Mammon
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Satan:
"This is for research."
A lie he almost believes but knows he just wants to be near you
Works the same department as you so you see each other all day
Never put him on registers or customer service
Almost got into a fight on the first day
Retail is rough for him but he does it for you
Complains to Demon Resources about Lucifer daily
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Asmo:
"Ugh...a job!? I'm gonna cry. Oh but my fans would love if I relate to them! And your job will be fun with me there!"
Upfront about his reason lol
Refused to do anything except customer service
Just stands back and talks to customers while the coworker alongside him completes any transactions
Makes DevilToks on the clock
Frequently leaves his spot to talk to you and Satan
Gets all the work gossip
Lucifer never catches on
"You know, this isn't so bad! I'm such a good worker right!?"
Gets employee of the month
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Beel:
"I don't like the thought of you surrounded by demons alone. This isn't RAD."
Aalajffkslsjda the cutest honest protector
Is cross trained everywhere but
Never put him near grocery ever again
Likes to work with you if he gets the chance
Usually works in the backroom unloading and back stocking things
Has a doctors note that let's him take frequent breaks for eating
His favorite department overall is security because Lucifer gives him extra treats if he prevents high valued thefts
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Belphie:
"I'm here because I have things I would like to have."
Is there an extra meaning to that?
Works in the back with Beel usually
Takes frequent naps in hidden areas of the backroom
Pretends to look busy if Lucifer is around
Also complains to Demon Resources about Lucifer daily
Fights with Levi on your breaks because he also wants to spend time with you when he can
Is the reason some coworkers don't approach you
He makes it known to not fuck with you
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Diavolo heard you started a new job alongside the brothers! He goes to visit with Barbatos in tow.
Diavolo:
"Can I get a little help here?"
Flirts with you while on the clock. He thinks the red vest on you is cute!
Was wowed by the store in general
(Normally Barbatos does the shopping alone)
Liked sampling the food that was around the store
Was tempted to apply but Barbatos shut it down
Took a photo of Lucifer in his manager clothes
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Barbatos:
"Seeing you here will make my shopping trips more enjoyable."
Praises your work
Did have to go to customer service to complain and ran into Asmo
Didn't believe Asmo was gonna clean the restrooms but at least the complaint was taken
Takes a survey and compliments you
Has to fight Dia to get him off the racecar cart
"It's for parents with children my lord."
Returns the cart to the cart corral like an upstanding citizen
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My first bulleted story post lol. I had fun with this & hope to make more in the future. <3
⬦You might also like: Coconut︱Mexican Restaurant︱Waffle House︱You ARE The Father
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cripplecharacters · 14 days
Note
I would like to know what you think of magical aids for disablilities in a fantasy setting! Things like: A prosthetic that is enchanted to be capable of fine movements. A wheelchair that can levitate. Hearing aids that are powered by a user's innate magic. Blind people with animal familiars that have a magical connection that allows the person to see through the animals eyes. Thank you!
Hi,
I think that magical aids, in general, can be interesting! But the few options you listed point to some issues.
First of all, the blind person magically seeing - don't do this. There's no point in having a disabled character just to make them abled. Consider this post by blindbeta instead, where they go over fantasy/fictional guide animals. Your blind character shouldn't be able to see, that's just disability erasure.
The same point applies to the prosthetic - is magic just the in-universe excuse to give someone a Cool Robot Arm/Leg that is technically a prosthetic but has little in common with the real world equivalent? I recommend going through our #prosthetics tag, but the two important posts you might want to consider: this on upper limb prosthetics, and this on lower limb ones for what people with amputations actually want - and yes, there are major differences between those two kinds of prostheses outside of being different limbs.
As a cane user, I would enjoy a magical cane that can fit into my pocket when I need it to, or one that I could summon out of thin air when my leg or back decide to make me barely able to walk when I'm out. But to be honest, I'm rather boring and to me, it's important that these fantasy/sci-fi equivalents don't turn a cane unusable in other ways. Prime example, canes with those awful "doorknob" handles... that takes me out of the story more than a teleporting cane. Or those canes with swords hidden in them (opinions heavily differ here, me personally I'm not a fan), like structural stability of the thing aside, if I'm using the cane then I'm definitely not in a condition where I could swing a sword, lol…
A cane that doesn't need changing the damn tip so often, or self-cleans every time I step into something gross would be great too. Or maybe one that is harmless to the user but bites people who touch it without asking!
mod Sasza
I don’t love the idea of a wheelchair that can levitate. Why should disabled people have to change our aids rather than the world becoming more accessible. Don’t get me wrong! There are still fun things you can do with wheelchairs in fantasy. For example a wheelchair with a spell that makes terrain (grass rocks etc.) a typical wheelchair would have trouble navigating flat. A power-chair that doesn’t use a battery but some other form of magic etc. I would challenge you to get creative and think outside of just levitation!
Mod Patch
I love the thought of magic aids. I agree with Sasza of the aspect of aids automatically cleaning themselves or having parts that you don't have to replace constantly. I know for me wiping down my wheelchair was always a hassle and the rubber handles on my breaks wore down constantly (my dog ate them one time) and were very hard to use with wrist that easily subluxed.
Aids that are battery powered running on magic or some other fantasy power source as a sorta battery would be so cool. A Port that magically accesses/de-accesses itself at the person's will? Oxygen Cannulas that never need changing/change themselves? A VP Shunt automatically adjusting its pressures to what the person needs? So many endless things you can do with them!
Mod Virus
I’m not entirely sure what is meant by hearing aids powered by innate magic. If that means never having to deal with replacing the batteries, sign me up! If it means anything other than that, I want more information on what exactly it entails.
Magic aids that function the same as not having a disability at all are erasure, plain and simple.
Mod Rock
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ballblender · 6 months
Note
Could I request some headcanons for GoM + Kiyoshi helping their scared s/o on the train? I’ve never been on one before and I’d be so nervous. Death grip on their hands fr
a/n: Thanks for the ask!! I'll also include Kagami if that's okay! :) Btw anon, i recommend trying out the train (unless you live rural and far away from a station, or already know how to drive lol), it's honestly so convenient :) also jshdghd they might ooc because i honestly haven't watched the show in almost a year
GoM + Kiyoshi comforting their scared S/O on the train
cw: fluff, gn reader, idk - trains???, not proofread, my writing is never proofread LOL
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Kuroko
"Y/N...what are you doing?"
It's a strange sight to see his usually smiley and happy partner currently cowering as the train rumbles. The carriage is full of passengers, standing tall above the pair.
"Don't laugh but, I...I don't use the train very often...or ever, at that."
Kuroko's face contorts to confusion.
"...so, this must be scary for you, right, Y/N?" Kuroko asks, smiling reassuringly as you bod in response.
"That's okay, I'm here with you. Just hold my hand."
He wasn't expecting you to grab onto him like he was your saviour, but giggled softly anyway.
He kisses your cheek, whispering how he'll have to take you out on dates more often so you can get used to the train.
Kagami
(having a little liberty this time since he wasn't technically part of the ask)
When your boyfriend told you that he'd show you around America, you were excited, as you should've been. Not much about the place seemed to matter to you right now though, as you stand, cramped up in the damp-smelling train of the New York City Subway.
Kagami himself appears unfazed by the way the carriage rumbles, the random coughing from every direction, the flickering lights, not even the rat licking up an old coffee stain on the floor.
"Taiga..."
"Yeah, what's up?"
"...I-I wasn't prepared for America to be this...how do i put it...ratholey?
Kagami laughs out loud, smiling broadly.
"That's a good way to describe New York."
You chuckle along with him, each other's laughter serving as a better light than whatever was short-circuiting above you both.
You hold his hand, and he holds yours, resting his palm on your thigh, as he rubs your knee with his thumb.
"LA is better than this, I promise."
Aomine
"Idiot...why are you scared?"
You can practically feel Aomine's mocking smirk forming, even if your eyes are shut and your face is buried in his chest.
"I don't use trains...you know I walk to school..."
Aomine's eyes roll as he sighs.
"Well, better get used to it now, or how are you gonna live in this city as an adult?"
It's these occasional moments of wisdom that draw you to Aomine. Until he of course ruins it.
"Unless you want me to piggyback you everywhere like a baby."
"Shut up."
He chuckles, stroking a few loose strands of your hair from your face.
"Kidding. I'm not gonna break my back carrying your ass."
You huff in annoyance at his comment, your hands finding his as your face buries into his chest even harder. He chuckles, squeezing your hand and kissing the crown of your head.
"I told you to shut up."
Midorima
"Oha Asa predicted (Your Star Sign) would not suffer any misfortunes today, you shouldn't worry." Midorima says this so matter-of-factly, it's scary.
"I-I know that...but it's still scary, Shin."
Midorima casually wraps a hand around your shoulder and pulls you slightly closer to him.
"You really should travel by train more often. In the future, what if a job you want requires you to travel by train? Don't be scared." he says his last sentence with a little smile, an uncharacteristic one at that, yet you find it so endearing.
Midorima has always been like this, acting less like a boyfriend, and more like a proper spouse, a husband you can share anything with, and be free of judgement, well, except from Oha Asa's.
You then feel him slip a small bangle onto your wrist.
"Your lucky item today is a silver bangle. But, I want you to wear it whenever you go on a train, okay? In fact, wear it everywhere, then I'll be with you."
You look down at the bangle, admiring the small 'M' engraved along it.
"I will...I'll wear it all the time. Thank you, Shin."
As he takes hold of your hand, you suppress a giggle; he'd already given you your lucky item earlier that day, a animal eraser. He must've been looking for an excuse to spoil you.
Murasakibara
The carriage rumbling: the murmurs of students: the ringing of phones. It was a lot to take in, especially since the last time you used the train was when you were a kid.
It especially didn't help that your giant of a boyfriend was crunching on snacks, the sound only adding to your unease.
"Mmph...this flavour's nice."
"Atsushi."
He turns to you and swallows the mouthful.
"Yeah, Y/N?"
"Could you...hold my hand?"
"Ehh? But how will I eat my snacks?"
"...use your other hand."
"But that hand's for holding the bag!"
This little dispute carries on for a while until he suggests, and you (hesitantly) decide to sit on his lap, perched on his thighs as he continues chomping away.
Weirdly, you do feel safe. Too bad you'll be getting crumbs all over you.
Kise
"So then my boss told me that-"
Although Kise is great at telling his stories, both about his modeling work and about Kasamatsu's never-ending impatience with him, you truly couldn't care less in this moment.
Your shoulders press together as the carriage shakes. The contact is hot and unpleasant, despite Kise's joyful face.
Your forehead begins to sweat, the air in the train is damp and humid.
"Kise, c-can you stop talking for just a second?"
"E-eh? Why? I was just getting to the good part!"
"I really don't feel well..."
Upon your words, Kise looks up at the announcement bar, and grabs your hand.
"Come on, Y/N, let's get off at this station."
"Huh? This isn't our stop though..."
He chuckles, the train coming to a stop, as he leads you out.
"I can't have you fainting on me! Let's cool down with a drink or something, my treat!"
You smile at the offer.
"Alright."
Akashi
While you and Akashi would usually walk together, or get rides in his limo, today he decided to use the train. You honestly didn't question it, Akashi always had his reasons for doing what he did.
What you forgot, however, was that you've never actually been on the train before.
It's more...suffocating than you were imagining, despite passing by the beautiful hills and landscapes. Akashi is drawn to them, staring out of the window with a small smile painted across his face.
You, however, can't ignore the other passengers. The sneezing lady, the sniffling office worker, the crying baby. It's a lot all at once.
"Y/N? ...What are you doing?"
You realize that, subconsciously, you covered your ears with your hands.
"Ah, sorry."
"...Do you not like the train?"
"...I...i've just never been on one before..."
A slight silence forms between the two of you.
Akashi's fingers slowly find yours.
As your hands squeeze together, you know it'll be alright.
Kiyoshi
You're with the rest of the Seirin team, walking back from a game (Kiyoshi managed to convince Riko to let you watch from the bench), when Riko rounds up everybody to get their attention.
"Okay everybody! We have to meet up early tomorrow, so let's get the next train out of here."
Everybody nods in agreement, and you realise, you've never actually been on a train before. Kiyoshi's hand squeezes yours as soon as your expression changes.
"Y/N? What's wrong?"
"I've...never been on a train before."
He blinks for a moment.
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah..."
Kiyoshi chuckles.
"Well, what is it that you're so afraid of?"
"Just...never thought i'd have to go on one."
Kiyoshi chuckles again, shaking his head slightly.
"We'll have to go on dates more often to help you get used to it then."
-------
a/n 2: sorry for the lack of posts, and more sorry to this anon for how late this post is. ill try better to post more often hehe
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