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#do you understand how it feels to be understood
vesppperoro · 3 days
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hii uhh, i had a little idea that id like to share if thats ok, it might be quite triggering tho so be warned ‼️
a sinner demon reader thats based on a teddy bear, because theyre too soft and mushy personality-wise, and they ended up in hell due to being suicidal. like their whole body is covered in stitches thats supposed to be a metaphor for sh scars
do whatever u want with that info, u can even ignore it if u like, have a nice day ❤️
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Hazbin Hotel Cast with a Teddy Bear!Sinner Reader
Includes: Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Sir. Pentious, Cherri Bomb, Alastor.
A/N: this is such an interesting idea! I’m going based on my own experiences as someone like this, along with research. I appreciate you for trusting me with this <3 I definitely WILL make a p2!! Might write for this sinner more tbh I loved writing them!! I thought you meant a child and I wrote that I’m so sorry 😭
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Charlie Morningstar
She truly didn’t understand why you were in hell.
You are such a sweetheart! She adores you.
When you showed up to the hotel one day, without clothes and covered in stitches, she was immediately worried.
She took you in and washed you up as best as she could.
You were like a child! Why were you even here?
She was happy that you wanted to be redeemed, however.
She became a mother figure to you.
You go to her when you’re sad and you hug her frequently.
She traces your scars sometimes and you two share a silent moment together.
A silent moment of understanding.
She loves picking you up and holding you!
She hugs you like you’re an actual teddy bear.
She’s the one you go to for emotional things.
She’s good at comforting you. She somehow knows what you wanna hear at all times.
Vaggie
She became a secondary mother figure to you.
She was Charlie’s girlfriend, so of course she was.
She understood your situation and was pissed heaven casted a sweetie like you because of your lowest point.
She’s the more levelheaded one.
She’s the one who gives you advice and stuff like that. While Charlie is the more emotionally supportive one, Vaggie is the more mature and steady one.
She also traces your scars. Even if you don’t like them, she tells you you’re beautiful no matter what.
When you told her more of your story, she almost cried.
A child feeling this way broke her to pieces. Especially since you were so soft.
Other than the sad stuff, she loves cuddling you.
You, her, and Charlie sometimes have cuddle sessions with you in the middle because you’re so warm + soft + squishy.
She would kill anyone for you. You’re just so adorable!
She tries to teach you to fight but gives up when you don’t want to hurt anyone.
Angel Dust
Honestly, he saw himself in you.
A lost, scared, and lonely child. You didn’t know the cruelties of the world, aside from those cruelties in your mind.
He tries his best to comfort you. He’s not the best with words, but he’s always there for you.
He calls you sugar bear! He loves you to death.
He would go to the ends of hell for you.
He treats you like he wished to be when he was the same way.
You two share a lot of similarities, so you bond well.
He nearly cried when you told him your stitches were scars from sh.
He embraces you any time he can.
He tries to be the parental figure he needed so you can have a better life, somewhere no one would judge you.
Husk
He’s stubborn, like a dad. He acts like one too.
A hardheaded, yet sweet dad.
He’s like the father you never had. Or did have. Whichever.
He’s the bartender, so he knew how to comfort.
But when you told him your story, he almost broke.
You two definitely sing some sort of song together. Maybe Angel or Vaggie joins.
He cuddles you and hides you with his wings.
If you give him baby doe eyes, he might just take you on a flight.
Husk is SUPER protective over you. He’s very similar to Vaggie in a way when it comes to protection.
He gives you good advice but he still hides behind his tough guy exterior.
He doesn’t understand why you’re down here, even if you tell him. You’re so sweet!
Either way, he adores you.
He loves patting your head and messing with your fuzzy ears.
Might even boop your nose once or twice.
Late night talks.
He probably talked you down from trying to commit again.
Niffty
Another tiny person! Yay!
You’re not a bad boy. She may be a psycho, but she would never call you bad.
Actually, she did once and felt bad once you cried.
She likes to hang out with you since you’re both tiny!
She cuddles and hugs you like you’re her stuffed animal.
Bug killers! Even if you don’t wanna kill bugs, she’s dragging you along anyways.
She tries to hide her needle from you since Husk told her what your stitches meant.
Alastor has to babysit both of you basically.
You and her do almost everything together! You’re best friends!
She sneaks into the kitchen and grabs you both snacks so you can watch a movie.
She makes you sleep in her bed sometimes so she can cuddle you.
Sir. Pentious
He’s a dad. Or, he was.
He treats you like he wishes he treated his son before he passed.
He acts like your father. An awkward father, but he still tries.
He also protects you.
Expect him to curl his tail around you and cuddle you when you’re sad.
He literally cried when you told him your story.
He tells you anytime he can that it’s not your fault. Your stitches are still beautiful.
Best girl dad ever.
Buys you anything he wants, even if he’s broke. (Except sharp things)
He teaches you some things about inventing!
You made him a little metal flower and he was so overjoyed. He took it with him everywhere.
He still remembers you, even if he’s in Heaven now.
Cherri Bomb
Chaotic auntie energy.
She would do ANYTHING for you.
She picks you up and places you on her hip like a baby.
She loves your ears! She also adores how sweet you are.
She wouldn’t admit it, but you’re the cutest thing she’s ever seen.
Even if you tell her your story, she wouldn’t see you differently. You’re a child, a child who went through so much.
Hangouts with her and Angel are a MUST.
They try to avoid doing the normal around you and focus on fun time.
She took you with her when she had a territorial fight one time and you almost cried.
She felt so bad that she bought you anything you wanted for a week.
She did anything you wanted to do, even if Husk or someone else said no to you.
Basically, if you wanted something, you went to her.
Alastor
He’s not one to like kids, really.
He was, however, kinder to you.
He did anything to protect you.
He was like your insane uncle.
He was the one who taught you how to use your abilities. Maybe to help you, or to manipulate you when you grow.
He made you jambalaya once and it became your favorite dish to share with him!
He introduced you to radio and he was happy that you loved it.
He started bringing you to his studio whenever he did a radio show.
He took you to an overlord meeting once. That’s how you met Rosie.
He pats your head like a dog lol.
Don’t expect him to be emotionally available. But he will be there to have fun sometimes.
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barcaatthemoon · 2 days
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red || jenni hermoso x reader ||
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you ask jenni to stop.
minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.
it's not really smutty, but still.
jenni's hands were gripping your hips so tightly that you swore you could feel the bruises forming already. she had been rough with you all day, starting before the two of you had even gotten out of bed. then, it had been more of a playful rough housing. now, she was thrusting her hips into you as hard as she could to make sure that you could feel every inch of her.
it wasn't what you had expected whenever she had taken you back to the bedroom. you were no stranger to jenni's moods, but she wasn't usually this rough for no reason. jenni wasn't jealous, nobody had been around either one of you today. it had been a bit of a lazy day, with the exception of jenni trying to annoy you throughout the afternoon. if anything, you should have been the one to be a bit aggressive in bed.
and in a way, you had been. you had held jenni's head down in between your legs earlier. that wasn't enough to warrant jenni fucking you like this though. it was fairly indulgent, and usually, you'd be fine with that, but it didn't feel right.
"jenni, red. i'm red," you whined. it was quiet, just barely a whisper. you hated interrupting jenni whenever she was focused, but you couldn't take any more. a part of you had said it so quietly that you thought she wouldn't hear you, but jenni was pulling out of you and rolling you onto your back as quickly as she could.
"what's wrong?" jenni asked immediately. her eyes were wide with fear, and you immediately were engulfed in guilt. you hated making jenni feel bad, especially whenever you didn't even know what was wrong. "did i hurt you?"
"n-no, it's not that," you reassured her. jenni looked absolutely distraught as she mentally combed over every little thing she had done that day. you had been a bit snappy with her before dinner, but that wouldn't have caused this. jenni had apologized to you long before the two of you made your way back here.
"is there anything that i can get or do for you?" jenni asked you. she was gentle as she reached towards you. you let her hand come to rest on your arm. slowly, jenni began to pull you into her arms. you hummed happily at the feeling of her holding you. it was soft and nice in all the ways that you realized that you had been craving jenni.
"i'm sorry," you apologized. jenni pulled back a bit. there was a puzzled look on her face. her eyebrows were furrowed deeply as she pouted a little. it was something you usually would have teased her about, rubbing out the furrow as you joked about wrinkles. tonight, you didn't feel like joking, instead going straight for clarity. "i stopped us. i don't think i can keep going. i'm sorry, jenni."
"you have nothing to apologize for, my vida. i'm sorry for not paying better attention to you, okay?" jenni pulled back just enough to force you to look at her.
"but you wanted this. it's been so long," you whispered.
"you tell me to stop, and we stop. i don't care what's happening. all i care about is you. do you understand me?" jenni asked you. you nodded, having completely understood her words. whether or not you took them to heart was a completely different thing. "i need to hear you say it and mean it."
"you care about me. if i need to stop, it's okay to tell you. you won't be mad, because you care." it wasn't word for word, which jenni appreciated. the two of you had been working on properly communicating needs, something that jenni felt was testing her patience. she didn't understand how someone so lovely and caring could be so unkind to themselves.
"thank you. i love you," jenni muttered against your forehead as she pressed a kiss to it.
"i love you too," you told her. jenni was absolutely beaming at your words, and you didn't have to see her to know. the way that she shook you a little as she hugged you told you everything that you needed to know. "what now?"
"that, my dear, is up to you. what would you like to happen?" jenni asked you. you thought a lot about it before deciding on just laying back with her. jenni got out of bed and grabbed some clothes for the two of you. she fished through her side of the closet for a sweatshirt for you to sleep in, along with the softest pair of underwear that jenni could find. you happily accepted the boxer briefs, not commenting on jenni only grabbing a sports bra for herself.
"can you hold me please?" you knew not to be nervous, but it wasn't easy for you to ask for things. jenni smiled as she climbed into bed with you, clad in a black sports bra and a pair of grey joggers. you were pretty sure that the pants were yours since they were both a little loose and too short on jenni.
"of course. i'll always hold you. you don't even have to ask." jenni pressed a kiss to the top of your head as the two of you positioned yourselves comfortably. you laid with your head on jenni's chest and your leg thrown over her body. she was completely trapped between the bed and your body, covered by the comforter, just how she liked it. "good night, mi amor."
"night jenni," you hummed happily.
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judithhhh · 1 day
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I was wondering if you could write Jude Bellingham x reader(barca fan)
rivalry (one-shot)
jude x reader
summary : the request!
hala madrid :)
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the excitement you felt for jude after his win against manchester city was slowly fading away as the day of the classico approached. you were always his number one fan, from birmingham to dortmund and now madrid. obviously, as a barcelona fan you were not particularly happy about your boyfriend’s decision to join real madrid but you understood how big of an achievement it was. slowly but surely you found yourself wearing a real madrid jersey way more often that you would have ever thought. the classico was not one of the matches you would go to in the white colors though. even if this decision was not making jude very happy you had still decided to wear a barcelona jersey to the match. it had been an ongoing fight for a week now and even a day before, you found yourself having the same debate with jude just before he left for training.
‘’baby you don't understand, you cannot come to a match wearing a barca jersey when you're dating a madrid player’’
‘’i've been a barcelona fan longer that i've been dating you jude, get over it’’ you said rolling your eyes
‘’well you should have thought about that before dating me’’
‘’i didn't even know you were going to join madrid come on’’ you said a bit louder
‘’we'll talk later, i have to go to training.’’ he responded, too tired to snap back
jude left the house without the usual sweet goodbyes you two shared. you spent the rest of the day mad at him even though a part of you knew he was kind of right. you occupied yourself the best you could all day and left the house just before your boyfriend got back home. you sat in a cafe close to jude’s house and sipped on a teacup until your phone started buzzing.
texts with judee
where are you?
we were supposed to talk when i got back
are u still mad
come back pls love u
you didn't respond but headed back to his house, swallowing back your petty behavior. when you got there, jude was in the shower. you removed your clothes before joining him, making the boy jump at the sudden intrusion. you talked to him normally, like the morning fight had never happened but he just looked at you suspiciously.
‘’you’re not mad anymore?’’
‘’i decided not to, i know barca is going to win no matter what jersey i win’’
the comment made jude chuckle as he tucked you closer to his wet body, his mouth reaching your neck and placing kisses that got lower and lower. when you two were done with your shower and other activities, any bad feelings were entirely gone from your mind.
the next morning, you woke up without jude's presence next to you. looking at your phone, you saw that it was already way past twelve and that the boy had headed out to training some time ago. he hadn't left you any text but when you got up you saw his jersey on the dresser with a note reading "eager to see you wearing that baby, love you xx".
after take a taxi to the stadium, you took a seat in jude's box and hurriedly texted him before he had to come out to train.
texts with judee
good luck today 🥱
btw don't u dare score
ill score and dedicate my celebration to u love
ill rather have you killing me tbh
nvm ill found another girl to do that with
fuck u
love you baby gtg
*you liked the message*
another classico win for madrid and another late winning goal by jude. any other context would have had you screaming and cheering for him but as a barca fan you could just scoff and internally curse your boyfriend for being so good. through the bernabeau’s billboard boards you saw jude’s celebration and didn't miss the smug smile he sent in the direction of the box you were sitting in. you knew you were going to get dragged after today. you hurriedly put on a hoodie, ironically jude’s, on top of the real madrid jersey in hope of at least escaping a bit of jude’s incoming banter.
you waited for him in the hallway next to the locker room not by choice but by obligation, he was still your ride after all. he came out of the room loudly laughing with his teammates before noticing you and murmuring something that made them giggle when they walked past you. jude reached you and pulled you into a hug, which you could not resist returning even though you were mad.
‘’it's such a good day love right?’’ he exclaimed, smiling at you
‘’shut up really’’
‘’aww come on, not gonna congratulate your boyfriend’’ he said clearly restraining himself from laughing in your face
‘’sorry i don't condone cheating’’
‘’nahh don't even start you know that was a fair win’’
you simply rolled your eyes and entered his car, trying to get home even faster. jude didn't say anything else and started driving. halfway through the drive, you realized that he wasn't taking the directions to your flat at all and was actually driving straight to his apartments.
‘’where are you going, you forgot to drop me off?’’ you said
‘’what do you mean, you always stay over after my matches’’ he responded sounding genuinely confused
‘’well, do i look like i wanna stay over today jude’’ you snapped a bit annoyed at his oblivious demeanor
‘’first of all, calm down a bit, yeah. and i understand you're mad about the result but i wanna spend time with my girlfriend so you're coming with me’’
he didn't seem like he was going to take no as an answer and you felt a bit bad for your bitchy attitude so you only turned your head away from him. you heard jude sigh and felt his hand reaching for yours that was resting on your thigh. you allowed him to hold it but didn't make any effort to squeeze it back as you normally would do.
‘’don't even get why you're so mad, baby. you knew barca had no chance of winning this anyways’’
‘’ok this is enough, get me out of this car right now’’ you said giggling, not really taking yourself seriously anymore
jude smiled softly seeing your happy face in the corner of his face. as much as he loved flexing his love for madrid in your face, he still preferred when you were not mad at him. the two of you finished the ride in a mix of stolen kisses at red lights and unserious banter.
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transmascaraa · 3 days
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hi its 🍓 anon, can I request comfort with Gaming, Bennett, Scaramouche, Cyno, and Tighnari?
I accidentally hurt my cat's leg maybe like 20 minutes ago from when this is in your inbox but I've honestly just been crying and curling up on the ground where she's laying underneath my desk. I feel awful even though it's an accident ☹️
I'm hoping she's okay and it's not bad but I'm scared I permanently gave her a limp or that she will hate me and no longer want to be around me anymore
multiple characters headcannons!
you accidentally hurt your pet.
characters: gaming, bennett, wanderer, cyno, tighnari x gn!reader
author's note: hi 🍓anon i'm sorry i'm doing this req so late but writer's block is there for some reason🤷‍♂️ I HOPE YOUR CAT IS OKAY NOW THO AND THAT SHE STILL LOVES YOU IK HOW IT IS😭 anyways i decided to write this cuz i was bored lmfao enjoyyyy🔥🔥
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♡ Gaming
-definetly gets worried after he sees you on the ground crying like that.
-"no... my love, what's wrong? you can talk to me, okay?"
-all while the pet was in the corner of the room, unphased.
-if left the room soon enough, but that was unnoticed by gaming.
-after you did your best at explaining the situation to him, he understood what you meant.
-a bit confused as to why were you thag worried about it, but he reassured you that your pet was fine and that they most probably forgive you.
-he's going to cuddle the pet with you to help you "apologize" to it.
-with gaming there, your pet will forget about what happened and just cuddle with the two of you there like nothing ever happened<3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⑅ Bennett
-now, he's hurt a fair share of animals in his life due to his unluckiness.
-and he always feels really bad for them afterwards, so he would understand after you vent to him about it.
-"hmm... yeah... i get it.."
-but him, knowing that you're not as unlucky as he is, he reassures you that your pet is okay and still loves you.
-he'll prove it to you too.
-but first he would first make you take your mind off of it for a bit.
-and then feed the pet together as some parents to their 3yo child.
-now, speaking of him proving it to you, he'll just let you pet it and let it slowly lean into your gentle caressing of it.
-the only time he was lucky in his life was when he got to be with you.
-you just looked to precious being happy that your pet has forgiven you.
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✧ Wanderer
-he just doesn't get it.
-why the hell are you rolling on the floor, crying, because you THINK you hurt your pet?
-"but are you sure you've actually hurt it? y'know, if you actually did, then its anger is justified-"
-until you started crying more.
-"b-but you probably didn't. so don't worry. you'll be fine, just like that like creature you call your pet."
-i mean you stopped crying so it was something????
-you'll have to beg him to cuddle you w your pet but eventually you'll convince him.
-the funny part was the fact that the pet was just more fond of wanderer, rather than you, despite forgiving you for anything and everything.
-for some unknown reasons, all animals like him, really.
-(if your pet is an aranara in some type of this teyvat au then it's even cuter)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
๑ Cyno
-he doesn't react much, really.
-not like alhaitham, but just more of his canon personality when he's not making dad jokes.
-i mean if anything, he's confused, but yeah.
-he just stares you on the floor.
-"what happened?"
-in the most monotone voice ever.
-and then after he understands why you're doing all of that, he shows a bit more of emotion.
-hardly spotted, but it's there.
-"well... i know something that can improve your mood. what do you call a-"
-you just give him a death stare. he doesn't continue speaking from there.
-afterwards, you'll feel the little cutie together and see that it's totally fine!
-you will get to hear the joke he was meaning to say sometime later, now he just doesn't wanna irritate you, he feels as if you need happiness now, not his dumb dad jokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
✿⁠ Tighnari
-he genuinely gets worried.
-but worried in a mom way.
-"you're crying because of something you THINK? are you hearing yourself right now?"
-he's sassy, even when genuinely concerned.
-now, after telling you to take a few deep breaths, calm down, and drink a glass of water, he sits you down and lets you explain everything in great detail.
-then he brings the pet to the both of you, while he checks the pet for any scars, but they fortunately aren't there!
-you get incredibly happy and hug both tighnari and the pet, but he still doesn't understand if ut was worth the crying on the floor.
-your pet literally still loved you.
-but at least he was happy to help.
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okay i think this wasn't that bad
i really like cyno's and tighnari's tho
but this was fun to write overall tbh lol
| 🍓anon | @mariaace <3
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peachybella444 · 13 hours
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Need you
18+
“And then the bitch scoffed and rolled her eyes like I didn't just apologize. I need to find a new place asap cause I swear next time she try me Imma fuck her up- “
“What I tell you bout cussing?” Ony’s deep voice filled the room, dark eyes piercing into yours as a warning.
“Anywaysss” You rolled your eyes, ignoring the side eye he was giving. “You’ve been awfully quiet since I came over. What’s going on?” You put your freshly manicured feet in his face.
“Nothing you’ve just been yapping the whole time.” He smirked.
“Rude” You gasped, nudging him with your toes.
“Nah I'm just chillin’. You know I like listening to you talk.” He shrugged, placing your legs into his lap. Lighting the blunt he just rolled, a cloud of smoke surrounding him as he took a hit.
“Whatever” You smiled as he passed it to you.
You and Ony often had moments like these, a smoke sesh usually spent with you talking about your week as he massaged your feet. Your relationship with Ony was…complicated. Ever since Sasha introduced you two, y'all were inseparable, constantly getting mistaken for a couple, and who could blame them?
Most thought this because Ony always had to be touching you, whether it was holding your hand, an arm around your shoulder, or a tight grip on your waist. However, for some, it was how you two would always disappear during the function. Claiming you were only talking, but the slight sheen on Ony’s lips and your slightly ruffled clothing told otherwise.
You weren’t quite friends with benefits. At least that's what you told yourselves. The whole ordeal just kinda happened. You were stressed over your midterms and Ony of course offered to help you study. Though after hours of reading flashcards and practice tests, you were still stressed and on the verge of tears when Ony offered another way to help you. That night you ended up with your legs in the air as Ony sucked the soul out of your pussy. Ever since then any inconvenience one had, the other would do their best to help relieve the stress. Your roommate upset you? Ony fed you long deep strokes, pampering you with soft kisses while he whispered in your ear. Ony was pissed that his supplier flaked on him? Ony would have the tightest grip on your hips as he drilled into you from behind, claiming the waves of your ass hypnotized him into forgetting what he was upset about. Some days neither of you needed an excuse. Some days you just craved each other.
Despite your unique relationship, you remained friends allowing the other to do what they pleased, though neither you nor Ony slept with or saw other people. Your dynamic was good and worked for both of you. That was until you started seeing Jean.
“You n that nigga Jean still fuckin around?” He broke the silence, waiting for your answer as your eyes met his.
“Ony” You groaned, the tight grip he had on your ankles preventing you from moving.
“What? I can’t ask you questions now?” He kissed his teeth, putting out the blunt.
“No, because any time you ask about Jean we end up getting into an argument and I’m really enjoying my time with you right now. So no, you cannot ask.”
“Whatever. I’m just tryna figure out when you gon stop playing in my face nd be with me instead of his bitchass.”
“Onyankopon '' You shrieked. You never understood why Ony hated Jean till a few weeks ago when Ony drunkenly confessed his feelings. At first, you thought he was joking but the look on his face told you otherwise. For a minute, you were happy. Ony was everything you had wanted in a boyfriend and you two had practically been in a relationship just without the labels. It wasn't till Jean texted you that you got upset. Why confess his feelings when you're finally in a relationship? Deciding it'd be best to forget about it, you put Ony to bed, hoping he'd also forget about his confession. Clearly, you were wrong.
“What? I don't understand what you see in him. He's annoying as fuck, and I'm pretty sure he has 4 brain cells. Maximum.” He rolled his eyes at the thought of Jean. “Why won't you give me a chance when I'm the one for you?”
“We've talked about this Ony.” You sighed. Conversations like these were becoming frequent and they were so tiring.
“No mama you've talked nd I've listened.” You thought about it, he wasn’t exactly wrong. Silently praying this wouldn't end up in an argument you gave him a chance.
“Okay. I'm listening.” You whispered.
“C’mere,” He released your ankles.
“Ony I’m not gonna-”
“[☆]” The dominance in his tone had you clenching around nothing.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you did as he told. The moment you sat on his lap you just knew how it was going to end.
“Why you with him instead of me? And don't feed me no bullshit” His large hands were rubbing up and down your thighs getting dangerously close to your pussy that desperately ached for him.
You tried and you tried but there wasn't any good reason as to why you were Jean. Sure he was cute but he had no idea how to make you feel special and overall just couldn't please you. In multiple ways. The main reason though was that he wasn’t Ony. He just asked first.
“I don't know, Ony” You finally sighed, looking everywhere but him.
Any discipline you had when it came to Ony vanished when his hand wrapped around your throat, the slight pressure on your carotid causing your brain to go fuzzy and your panties to get damp “Look at me”
“Be real. Please” Ony released his hold on your neck to grip your thighs.
“You had the longest opportunity to ask me to be with you but you never took the chance, yet when I'm finally in a relationship you suddenly wanna give up everything and take a chance to be with me and I feel like that’s not fair to me Ony.”
He rubbed his hands down his face with a sigh. “You're right.”
"I did have that opportunity and always hesitated. I always assumed it would be just you and me, that you wouldn't pursue other relationships because of our bond. Since the day we met, I've wanted you. I know this is unfair and I'm so sorry princess, but I can't ignore my feelings any longer. Jean can't possibly be the man you want, the man you deserve. But I can. I promise to take the chance if you just give me another opportunity, and I'll do everything in my power to make you proud. You’re my best friend, my favorite person in the whole universe and I'm determined to be the person you need. I love you [☆].”
“Ony” you huffed, feeling as if all air was being vacuumed out of your lungs at his confession.
“Please. Lemme show you how much I love you.” He whispered, closing the distance that separated you. “Please” He captured your lips, his usual sweet taste with a hint of spiciness from the weed clouding your thoughts. Oh, how you missed this. Missed him. The kiss was intimate and familiar, the passion growing with each second. Ony’s hands roamed your body, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs before traveling to your ass, taking pleasure in the soft moan you let out, and using the opportunity to slip his tongue past your lips. On instinct, your hips rocked down onto him.
“Fuck, baby. I missed you” He groaned, flipping you onto your back.
“Ony we can’t” You huffed, despite the wetness growing in between your thighs. God he looked so good. His muscles bulged as he took his shirt off, your eyes trailed down his torso, mouth watering at the prominent v-line peeking from his low sitting sweats.
“Do you want this? Yes, or no?” His tongue traced lazy patterns on your skin as he littered your neck with kisses.
“Ony I-”
“Yes or no [☆]?” He nipped on your earlobe, hand dipping below the waistband of your leggings.
“Fuck, Ony” his hand slipped beneath the thin fabric of your thong, fingers slipping through your folds. Gathering your arousal before circling your clit in tight circles. “Yes, please”
“Then shut up and lemme show you how much I love you” He murmured as he undressed you. Replacing his fingers with his tongue, he lapped at your folds like a starved man, his tongue repeatedly flicking your clit. “Missed you so fucking much. Don't ever give my pussy away again. You hear me?” He muttered, sliding two digits past your entrance. The action was easy with how wet you were.
“Ony” Your thighs threatened to close around his head.
“Answer me or I'm stopping” He slowed his movements, leaving you needy.
“It's yours. I'm yours pa, I promise” Your legs shook as he continued to give you slow strokes, the addition of another finger having you seeing stars. “O-Ony wait” You panted, attempting to push his head away but he refused to let up on your pussy, never wanting to stop till he and his couch were soaked in your essence as he lapped at your clit.
“Ony I’m so-fuck I'm so close” Your words encouraged him to speed up as he repeatedly hit the spongy spot of your walls. “Ony” Your walls clenched around his fingers, leaving little room for his fingers to continue as you reached your peak.
Despite your thighs tightening around his head he continued his assault on your pussy. It wasn't until he was finally satisfied with slurping up your arousal, that he pulled away pressing gentle kisses on your throbbing clit as he pulled his soaked fingers out of your walls.
“Missed you so much” He mumbled, giving you the nastiest kiss ever, your arousal all over his lower face.
“I missed you too”
“Yeah?” He grabbed your hips, positioning you on all fours.
“Ony” You whined, pout forming on your lips as you looked back. His dick standing tall now that it was no longer confined. God, please let me have feeling in my legs tomorrow.
“I know you ain't think I was done. You played in my face and let another nigga hit and think I'm not finna put you back in your place? Nah, both you and this pussy need a reminder of who you belong to” He slid his dick through your folds, your cream acting as lube.
“Matter a fact” He lined up at your entrance just as your phone started ringing ‘Jean baby’ flashing on the bright screen.
“Lemme show this nigga too.”
first time ever writing smut nd even though it was short it took me foreverrr but i think it turned out okay. also so sorry for all my Jean girlies out there lol. anyways i hope you enjoyed nd any feedback is greatly appreciated. mwah
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kaivenom · 2 days
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I just found your blog looking for Spencer white fics and yours are so good! I was wondering if you’d be willing to write something between spider and a gn reader who finds it really attractive when he speaks French (cause that scene did something to me-)
Thank you for feeding the small amount of hbh fics🙏🙏
French cuisine
Summary: you go to Spencer's house and found him cooking, you decide to help him and you discover he can speak french.
Pairing: Spencer "Spider" White x gn!reader
A/N: Sorry that this had taken so long, college is starting the final section before exams an i am going crazy. Words on cursive are the translation from french.
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It was an ussual Friday, you were going to Spencer's house, see some movies and eat popcorn. When you entered the house with the keys you borrowed, a french song was playing on the background, that was strange you thought, it must be his mother. Following the song, you found Spencer in the kitchen with an apron full of flour and humming the song.
"Look what we have here, the perfect 50's housewife," you joked while you get to hugh him from behind.
"Bonjour." he asked with a smile.
"Bonjour."
"Comment allez-vous?" you didn't understand anything and that made you question things.
"Wait, don't tell me you know how to speak french?"
"Yeah, i know, but i don't have to do it everytime... it's awful when people ask me: can you say something in french? or things like that."
"But you could have told me, i am your girlfriend." you tightened your grip among his waist and made a pout.
"I don't like to brag about it, but now you know."
"Yeah, right. What you said to me before?"
"How are you?" he turned around and kissed your forehead.
"Good, you?"
"Bon." something on the form he said it, made you blush.
"I suppose that means good."
"Correct." he put a finger with fluor on your nose, painting it white.
"Can you say more to me?" you make puppy eyes and like always, he can't resist.
"Tu es très belle," your heart skipped a heartbeat, you didn't know what he said but hearing him talking in french was exciting you more every secon. "i said you are very beautiful."
"Yeah?" his hands went to your cheeks and kissed you.
"Tu es la meilleure personne du monde." his lips drain your soul with every word and every kiss in between. You are the best person in the world
"Tell me more, please."
"Je t'aime... tes lèvres... ton corps... tes sons." his kisses increased, in speed, in intensity and passion, he was starting to feel very aroused by your reaction. I love you... your lips... your body... your sounds.
"I don't know what you said but i do too." you both laughed inoccently, for a moment unaware from the steamy interaction you both were having.
"Je veux faire du sexe avec toi." a moan almost escaped your mouth, you only understood one word and that was enough.
Then you started to smell burnt but apparently Spider was so concentrated in kissing your lips and neck, that he had forgotten he was cooking and also that he had things on the pans... that now are burning.
"How do you say the kitchen is on fire?"
"La cuisine est en feu." only a second was needed before he understood your words.
You both had to run to turn off the fire and open the windows to vent the kitchen. Nothing was saved from the disaster so you decided to order some french food to honor the ocassion and finish what you both started.
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starryevermore · 22 hours
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the house of snow (17) ✧ coriolanus snow
the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board| ao3
pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader
series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his. 
chapter summary: finally, you enjoy your honeymoon. 
word count: 1,417
series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later
chapter warnings?: another short chapter im so sorry, tooth-rotting fluff, sexual references, implied smut, pet name (petal), not proofread
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Light streamed in through the window as the sun began to rise. Coryo’s pale blonde hair almost seemed to glow. You reached up, brushing a strand away from his face. He looked so soft like this. He looked a lot softer generally now. Could this be the almighty honeymoon phase of a relationship blinding you to his flaws? No, you mused. Coryo had always been different around you. Before, you thought it was out of distaste, but now you knew the truth. 
You ran your thumb over the swell of his cheek. This was nice. You understood why Coryo always liked to touch you. There was something so sweet about it. Something so intimate, knowing that no one else will ever touch him like this. A smile tugged at your lips. You scooted closer, kissing him softly. You couldn’t help it. 
“Now who’s accosting who?” Coryo teased, his eyes still shut.
You pressed another kiss to his lips. “What? I can’t kiss my husband?”
Coryo’s hands settled on your waist. He rolled over onto his back, pulling you over so you laid on top of him. “If you promise to wake me up like this every morning, you can kiss me whenever you like.”
“Deal,” you giggled. 
Finally, Coryo opened his eyes. He reached up, tucking a piece of fallen hair behind your ear. He smiled up at you, his pale blue eyes twinkling. “What are you doing awake so early? The point of a honeymoon is to relax.”
“I was admiring my husband. Is that not also the point of a honeymoon?”
Coryo pulled you down for another kiss. His tongue swiped against your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You held back a giggle as you remembered where else that tongue had been—how your Coryo spent the entire night between your legs until you begged for mercy. Coryo’s fingers carded through your hair, tugging you closer. Your nose bumped against his. This time, you did giggle. 
“You think my kissing technique is funny?” Coryo chided. His tone was playful, though. A far cry from the boy you thought you knew on the schoolyard. 
“I think I am lucky to have such a loving man for a husband.”
“Don’t try to distract me. You laughed as I kissed you,” he said. You leaned in to kiss him, but this time he let out a sarcastic laugh as your lips touched his. “Doesn’t feel very good, does it, petal?”
“You are a spiteful man, Mr. Snow. You don’t even know why I laughed.”
“Tell me then.”
You pet Coryo’s hair, a soft smile on your lips. It was a stark contrast to the wetness you felt between your legs as you recalled the memory of last night. “I was thinking of where else that filthy tongue of yours has been.”
Coryo’s eyes fell shut. You felt him stiffen against your thigh. Your smile turned to a smirk. “Oh, petal, you can’t say things like that first thing in the morning. I’ll never be able to continue my day like this.”
“Hmm, but we’re on our honeymoon, aren’t we? What else do we have to do but enjoy each other?” you reminded.
His eyes snapped open. A low hum reverberated in his chest. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
Your smirk grew. You shifted off of him, slipping out of his hands. Your feet hit the floor. As you moved toward the door, “In that case, I’m going to ask if breakfast can be made. Do you have any requests?”
Coryo let out a growl. He followed you of the bed, trying to grab your hips and pull you back against him. “My little petal has some thorns of her own, hm? I think you know what I want for breakfast.”
“No, no, I don’t want to kill my husband. Not after I’ve decided to like him, you know.” You kissed the tip of his nose. “I’m thinking pancakes.”
You slipped out of his hands again, giggling to yourself as you made a beeline for the door, shutting it behind you. In the distance, you heard Coryo fumble with the door before his footsteps echoed down the hall. You picked up your pace, nearly making it to the kitchen when you felt a pair of hands grab you from behind. A squeal escaped your lips.
Coryo’s lips brushed against the shell of your ear. “Now, I’ll let you tell the staff to make breakfast,” he growled, “but as soon as we’re finished, I’m dragging you back to our room and finishing you off as dessert. Am I understood?”
“Is that a threat, Mr. Snow?”
His teeth nipped at your earlobe. “It’s a promise, Mrs. Snow.”
And he kept it. 
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“How many children do you want?” you asked Coryo as he dragged a rag between your legs, cleaning up the mess the two of you made. You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching as his brows pinched together. 
“Does it matter what I wish? You’ll be the one giving birth.”
You rolled your eyes. “Of course it matters. A marriage is a partnership. We should discuss these sorts of things.”
A sigh escaped his lips. He stepped away, taking the rag to the bathroom. You were left alone for a minute before he returned. Coryo climbed into the bed. He settled on his back and pulled you into his arms. “One, I think. I would like to give you the experience of motherhood, if you so wish it. But I don’t think I can handle seeing you in that sort of position more than once.”
“That sort of position? What are you—oh.”
It was easy to forget about his mother. Even though you knew this was the cottage where she had him and was going to have his sister, the very same cottage she lost her life in, it was easy to forget. One part of the Coriolanus that you once knew that remained true for your Coryo was that he kept his true, most vulnerable, parts to himself. In a lot of ways, he’d exposed those parts to you. But there were still things that you still hadn’t been exposed to. This was one of them, you supposed. 
“I don’t know what I would do with myself if I lost you,” Coryo said. When you tilted your head up to look at him, his eyes were shut. If he hadn’t just been speaking, you might have thought him asleep. “Burn all of Panem to the ground, I suppose.”
“You don’t mean that, Coryo.”
“None of this matters if I don’t have you by my side,” he said. His grip on you tightened. “When I was younger, I had always dreamed of being King. My Grandma’am and Tigris were always so sure I would one day sit on the throne. We would talk about all of the glorious things I would do. How I would honor Panem. But these few years I have sat on the throne…While it was what I expected, it didn’t bring me satisfaction, joy, like I thought it might.”
His eyes opened again. A smile tugged at his lips. “I didn’t feel joy until the first time I got to dance with you, my petal. And now that I have it, I’m afraid I must be selfish with it. I won’t do anything that would risk your health and safety. And to bear a child…That is the one danger I cannot completely control. Should anything go wrong, I cannot do a thing. I have to place my trust in the physician to ensure your safety. I don’t like having to trust others. Besides you, of course.”
“Coryo…”
“One child would suffice to carry on the Snow legacy. Any more and I fear I might keel over with the anxiety.”
You rolled over so that you half-laid on his chest. Reaching up, you carded your fingers through his hair. “Thank you for telling me that.”
He huffed a small laugh. “Well, you told me your anxieties. I thought it was only right that I told you mine.”
“And I think I would be happy with just one child, too,” you said, kissing the corner of his mouth. “But I am in no rush to have any now. I was just curious.”
“How I love that curious mind of yours.”
A part of you, one that you were still trying to familiarize yourself with, nearly said that you loved him too.
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astroyongie · 3 days
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What are you choosing ?
Note: hey everyone! This is  little something that I have constructed in a way for you to see if you really know yourself but also as a way to heal and understand your inner desires and needs. This is a part of what we call shadow working, hopefully it will help. you are free to do this quietly, or if you want to share with me, feel free to do so <3
How it works?: please choose one option between the two and try to argument within yourself why you chose that 
This or that ?
Question 1
an apology from your father 
a hug from your mother
Question 2
being loved
being able to love
Question 3
your father choosing family over work
holding your childhood pet one last time 
Question 4
a good night kiss
your hair getting brushed and braided
Question 5
the ability to forgive yourself 
finally being heard and understood in your family 
Question 6
“i am proud of you” from your mother
“i love you” from your father
Question 7
reading you favorite childhood book for the first time
a letter from that one friend you one day never heard from again
Question 8
crying in your mother’s arms 
yelling at her all the things you were too afraid to speak out loud
Question 9
not feeling constantly lonely
 not feeling constantly misunderstood
now please choose one number between 1-6. pick the one that you are currently feeling most attracted to. and read your message: 
1- Yeshe Tsogyal: you will be able to overcome all of the obstacles you are currently facing. allow your spiritual guides to guide you through this and trust the process, the path that you are in. surround yourself with the people you know bring you only light into your life, allow yourself to trust them more and to trust yourself as well. by working on your spiritual side you will be able to overcome your shadow self.
2- Yogoni: Of course there’s a lot of changes happening in your life at the moment, but keep in mind that sometimes a door will close in order for another to be opened. trust your path and tell yourself if thighs aren't meant to be because life is trying to limit the pains in your life. stay faithful to yourself and your healing oath, as long as you stay authentic to yourself, you will be able to overcome things 
3- Terra Mater: your mental and spiritual path does not unfold like most people, it is taking a different way but you need to trust the process, as your spiritual guides love you unconditionally and they will help you find peace of mind. follow the new ideas and accept the changement that is happening in your life. your manifestation is strong, use it wisely. you know that goal you have? grasp it. Even if people say that it's stupid and impossible for you to have it, don't let it go and fight for your desires.
4- Beatitude: don't be afraid to show the true you. The only way to heal your inner conflicts and the pain is by accepting and loving who you are. even when things seem so hard to reach, keep walking down the rightful path and trust life. all the difficulties are going to bring you to wisdom and the right path.  
5- Biche: You are only a child that has been hurt. I am so sorry that you had to go through this hard thing. but your energy is able to overcome all of this negativity. you don't need to become something that you are not, your spiritual light is already warm and soft. keep yourself true to your inner core and things will become easier 
6- Volva: your spiritual power can heal your dark self way better than what you think. It's time for you to travel through the spiritual world and engage yourself more. don't try to control what is happening and allow it to unfold before you. instead work on something tangible, on something that will help you healing from all the pain you have suffered
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Text
Some people, in defense of generative A.I., will claim that A.I. builds from influences the same as human beings do.  This is, to me, the first indication that I’m talking to somebody who either does not understand how A.I. works, how human creativity works, or most likely both.  Something that needs to be clearly understood is that A.I. has no intelligence.  It does not “think”.  It is a predictive text program that simulates human expression by ingesting unfathomable amounts of data and trying to replicate that data.  It does not know and can not know what meaning its outputs have.  Further, it has no desire and no emotion to motivate action or decisions.  It simply runs a program and assembles pixels or words to match what seems most like other correct pixels and words in its vast data set.  It aggregates.  It produces averages. Humans, obviously, do not create like this.  Humans have intentions and purpose to what we do.  These intentions are sometimes deep, sometimes shallow, sometime clear, and sometimes nebulous.  But we always have emotion and thought connected to what we make.  What we create is guided by intent colliding with discovery, and these two states feed each other.  And the influence that we draw from existing work is not an analysis of pixels, but an emotional response to how that work makes us feel.  Even in analytical study of form or anatomy, our brains do not operate like computer programs.  While committing information to memory, we also interpret and seek to understand and this affects how that information is later able to be used.  Because we are each an individual, infinitely complex being, our different physiological, environmental, and cultural variations bring us to infinite different endpoints.  Like it or not, we all see the world slightly differently and our creative expressions reflect this. It has become standard to describe A.I. as a tool.  I argue that this framing is incorrect.  It does not aid in the completion of a task.  It completes the task for you.  A.I. is a service.  You cede control and decisions to an A.I. in the way you might to an independent contractor hired to do a job that you do not want to or are unable to do.  This is important to how using A.I. in a creative workflow will influence your end result.  You are, at best, taking on a collaborator.  And this collaborator happens to be a mindless average aggregate of data. To some, the prospect of collaborating with the sum average of all artists is apparently an attractive prospect.  Maybe you feel you are below average in some areas and the A.I. will therefore raise the quality of those areas.  But every percent that you hand over to the A.I. is a percent less of your unique voice, perspective, and intention.  And for folks who use A.I. generations wholesale, that comes out to a 100% loss of anything personal or unique that they might bring.
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vikkirosko · 2 days
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Hi hope you’re doing well!
How do you think Alastor, Husk, and Angel would be with a S/O who struggles to perform basic tasks/ get out of bed because of PTSD/ depression?
Headcanons Severe emotional state
🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖
Angel knew that there were a lot of bad things in your life. Even after death, when you were in Hell, you did not forget what happened to you and it left a mark on you. You had PTSD, which made life difficult for you, but Angel was there and tried to help you at least a little, as much as he could help you at all
He was the one who insisted that you should move to a hotel. He only offered it to you after he moved there himself. Angel knew that you were having difficulty doing your daily chores, so he felt calmer when he knew that not only he was with you, but also other people who were ready to help and support you
Angel often came to you at night. He knew you were having serious trouble sleeping, so he was looking out for you. You could stay awake for a long time, you could have nightmares, and in the morning it often happened that it was difficult for you to even get out of bed. Angel was there to at least help you with your nightmares. He didn't want you to feel bad alone when you wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night
Angel understood that it was so easy for you to forget about what happened to you, so he tried to be there for you and support you. You didn't tell him exactly what happened to you, but Angel knew that when you were ready, you would tell him everything. He wasn't going to force you to tell him things that were hard for you to remember. In the meantime, he was just there for you and supported you as best he could
📻 Alastor x Reader 🎙
Alastor understood that you had problems from the first day you met. It was hard for you to do even the usual daily tasks. Sometimes you didn't even have the strength to get out of bed. The reason for this was depression, which has been with you for several years now
Every time Alastor broke into your day when you couldn't find the strength. He found ways to influence you, even though he couldn't get you out of depression. That's why he told Charlie about your condition, who took it very seriously and tried her best to help you. You knew you weren't hiding your condition, but you guessed who really told her everything
Alastor knew that at some point your condition could worsen even more, so he was there. When you had nightmares, he was there for you. He wasn't someone who could really help you with nightmares, but you felt safer when you knew that he wasn't hiding in the shadows, but was really next to you and you could rely on him
There were a lot of bad things in your life and Alastor wasn't the perfect person to be around, but he stayed close. He was the stability that he had from his life and you were glad that he was. You could have been much worse off without him. Some people didn't understand why you were so attached to Alastor, but next to him you really had more reasons to feel alive
🃏 Husk x Reader 🥃
You and Husk have known each other for a long time. He saw you in the most difficult moments of your life and tried to be there for you. It was very hard for you before you died. You've been through a lot of terrible things and now, in Hell, you had PTSD. Husk knew how hard it could be for you, so he tried to make sure that your condition did not worsen
You often sat with him at the bar, but Husk never gave you alcohol. He didn't want you to try to numb your pain with addiction, knowing that it would only make it worse. That's why he tried to find other ways for you to deal with difficult memories
Every morning he came to your room and checked that you were up. He knew that it was hard for you to get up in the morning, so he came to you and made sure that you would not spend the whole day in bed because you did not have the strength to get out of bed. Over the years that you were together, he learned exactly what to do in such situations
Husk didn't know if it was possible to completely cope with your PTSD, but he stayed by your side and helped you live as normal a life as possible. He was there for you and was ready to help you at least try to cope with the nightmares that have been haunting you so far
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ac3ifix · 1 day
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Saiki or tsukishima with a male reader my beloved ❤️ i just love when the emotionally constipated boys have to deal with having feelings for someone, i’d love to request one (or both) of them hanging out with trans male reader and just then realising they are head over heels in like <3
Yea sorry for being gone for a month. I dont have an excuse other than I didnt feel like writing at all so yea.. Sorry ab that. Love you guys tho!!
Also, sorry if this isnt quite what you wanted, its sorta rushed and honestly not my best work at all. Also I know you mentioned trans reader but theres really no specifications on whether the reader is trans or not.
Tsukishima doesn’t understand love.
This story features: Clueless character, confusion, mutual understanding, sfw, fluff, boys kissing, height difference, can be read as either tmale or cmale
Wc: 408
He never really got it, why he was so unbelievably drawn to you. How he smiled when you laughed and how he was ready to kill someone when you were upset. Tsukishima Kei was infatuated by you. He walked with you to class, you watched his games, and he just enjoyed your company so much. He couldn’t understand it. Until one day he was talking with Yamaguchi.
“Hey Tsuki?” Yamaguchi had asked
“Hm?” He responded “What is it?”
“Do you.. uhm.. This is kinda an odd question but.. do you.. like (Name)?”
Tsukishimas eyes widen and he found himself saying,
“I think so..”
So thats what it was. Like, maybe even love. He liked you. He didnt know how he was going to deal with this newfound knowledge but now he understood what his feelings were. He had never had a girlfriend before, let alone a boyfriend, and he had no idea how to approach the idea of a crush. He was confused to say the least. And to be perfectly honest, that was all he thought about for the next couple of days. How was he going to tell you? He began to avoid you in the hallway, putting distance between you two as the truth became more evident to him. He knew he had to face it eventually so when you came up to him, tears staining your face, his face dropped.
“Who the fuck-“ He swore, cupping your cheeks in his hand.
“Why..Why have you been ignoring me Ts-Tsuki?” You asked him, your voice breaking.
“What- I haven-“ Oh. He realised. He had been avoiding you, hadnt he?
“Yes you have! You’ve been avoiding me like the fucking plague!” You said, tears beginning to fall again.
“Look, (Name) its.. Geez, this is hard to say… Its because I..I like you, I think..” He said, looking away from you in embarrassment.
Your eyes widened, you were dumbfounded, thats why he had been ignoring you? You had thought something had happened, you had assumed the worst.
“Tsuki..?” You mumbled, wiping your eyes.
“Hm..?” He said, now facing you again, shamefully.
You leaned forward, stood on your tip toes, and gave him a kiss. It was a soft kiss and he was surprisingly good at it, his hands ended up on your waist as he kissed you right back. You were both disappointed when the kiss ended.
Pulling away you muttered “I-I think I like you too, Tsukishima.”
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therealcocoshady · 17 hours
Text
Recovery - Chapter 35
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Eminem x Female Reader Fanfiction
Synopsis : Reader is mad at Em after their heated argument and he does everything he can not to lose her.
Y/N’s POV 
You had decided to sleep in one of the guest rooms after your argument with Marshall. He had tried to reason with you, apologize for the millionth time and tell you he loved you but you just needed to be in a different room and not see or hear him. With him begging and pleading, it was impossible to process your feelings. After you locked yourself in the guest room, you heard him knock and apologize for a while but he eventually went away when he understood that you would not open the door, let alone talk to him. To say you were hurt would be the understatement of the year. How did he dare accuse you of lying ? How did he dare imply that you would not deserve to raise children when he knew full well that it was all that you wanted for yourself ? You understood that he might have said that out of anger, fear or whatever extreme emotion he might have felt in the moment but that was no excuse. And it did prove one thing : after knowing you for nearly two years, having witnessed you work towards recovery, he still saw you as an addict. This made you feel worthless, like everything you had done, all the meetings, the therapy sessions had done no good and that you would always be seen as the stupid girl who made a couple of bad decisions because she had a hard time handling trauma. Before messing with your anxiety prescription and eventually overdosing, you had never done a lot of drugs. You had never been the party type, drinking too much and experimenting with substances. The heaviest thing you had ever tried was smoking weed during trips to Amsterdam with your friends from college. You were not a crackhead, for crying out loud ! Looking at the bigger picture, your experience with drugs was limited and represented a few months. It could have been worse. You did not want to minimize your mistakes, but you also did not want them to be held against you for the rest of your life. You were twenty-eight, you still had a lifetime ahead of you. Three months messing with Xanax should not earn you a life sentence. And if Marshall thought different, to hell with him. 
Having him throw all these things in your face hurt on so many different levels and you cried yourself to sleep. Out of anger, sadness and frustration. And on top of that, you had to deal with the guilt of feeling unable to truly rejoice for Talia. You were feeling more lonely than ever. The last time you had felt this lonely was after you lost your baby. Simon was there physically but nowhere to be found on an emotional level and your friends, despite trying their best, did not really understand what you were going through. Now, things were different but also similar in a way : you couldn’t really talk to your friends and it was painfully obvious that your partner would not be of any support. All you had wanted for the night was to have some peace, some alone time and, eventually, Marshall’s arms to fall asleep in. Instead, you had an argument that led you to sleep in a guest room and a possible breakup on your mind. 
You didn’t want to break up with Marshall. Even after the awful things he threw in your face, you were still in love with him. It didn’t make sense. If anything, you should hate him. And in a way, you did. But you still loved him. The perspective of breaking up was making you sick to your stomach but what choice did you have, when the person you loved the most, the one who was supposed to protect you, be there for you and have your back did not respect you and thought of you as a failure ? Yes, he had apologized countless times and professed his love for you, but what good did it do if he saw you as an addict and a charity case ? 
The only reason you managed to sleep at all was from the exhaustion from crying. You had sobbed so much that your head was hurting when you woke up, your vision still blurry. That’s when you felt a presence in bed, next to you. You rubbed your eyes and saw Marshall laying there, staring at you intently with bloodshot eyes. You had locked the door behind you. What the hell was he doing here ? How long had he been staring at you for ? 
What are you doing here ? You asked in a raspy voice. How did you even get here ? 
Masterkey. Baby… I can’t sleep without you, he said. I don’t want to sleep without you. Not tonight. Not ever. 
So you thought you’d stare at me in my sleep like some sicko ? 
Y/N, I… Please don’t do this, he sighed. Don’t leave me. 
He was staring into your eyes, as if he were trying to read into your soul. He was wearing a white tank top and gray sweatpants. He knew full well that was the clothes you liked the most on him. You had told him countless times how sexy he was in them. And you had to admit that, laying on top of the covers, icy blue eyes and muscles on full display, he was a vision. Even when you were mad at him, he had you drooling and it was painfully unfair. 
Marshall…, you began. 
I can’t lose you, he pleaded. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t live without you. 
You hurt me, you said as you swallowed dryly. You really hurt me. 
I know, baby, I-
No you don’t ! You interjected. You have absolutely no idea how bad it hurts. This is worse than the time you told me I should have overdosed before we met. Losing this baby, it’s the worse thing that ever happened to me. How dare you tell me I shouldn’t get to be a mother ?! How dare you tell me that when it was my biggest dream and the reason for our breakup ? How dare the man I told everything about my miscarriage to, the one who consoled me when I was hurting, say something so mean when I gave up on this dream in order to be with him ?! 
I’m so sorry, he sobbed. I don’t deserve you. I know it. I fucked up. 
And I don’t deserve you either ! You spat.  I deserve better. You said you had my back. You said you were here for me. You were supposed to be my best friend in the world. You were supposed to protect me. You had me believing that I could recover. The man who gave me this fucking sobriety pendant and told me I wasn’t alone doesn’t believe in me and thinks I’m basically a crackhead ! 
No, Y/N, it’s not true, he said. I don’t think that at all. You’re so strong. I know it. I see it. 
Then why would you say what you said ? You cried. What good reason can you possibly have for hurting me this bad ? 
I… It’s hard to explain. 
The both of you were crying, laying in bed, staring at each other. Seeing Marshall in tears broke your heart but, hell, he had broken yours. You were mad at yourself for having so much empathy for him. He reached for your hand and, with the other, wiped his tears. 
Look, I know it’s no excuse, but… When I saw the tests, I freaked out, he said. Because it’s not even that I don’t want kids. I mean, I don’t, because I’ve had three beautiful daughters, I feel like my family is complete and, who wants to change diapers in their fifties anyway ? Or be mistaken for their child’s grandpa ? But really… When I thought you were pregnant, I was terrified. Because there is no fucking way I can be chill with the idea of having another baby when I put mine through so much. I traumatized my daughters. Their mom traumatized them too. Their parents were fucking zombies. They saw us struggle. No child should ever, ever see that. No kid should have to call 911 because their dad is dying on the bathroom floor, or have to wait for their mom to call them from jail. They should not have to say “Mom is in rehab. Again. She was sober for years but she relapsed and now she’s a mess”. I can’t even begin to tell you all about the times my kids didn’t have their parents with them for important events. Or the times when we were there but not mentally present. 
You stared at him in silence as he spoke. He had already told you about his addiction, how he had struggled, but he had never really spoken about the impact it had on his daughters, on his family. Tears were falling down his cheeks as he spoke and you could tell the memories were still vivid. 
And when I say that addicts are shitty parents, I’m just talking from my experience, he continued. No matter how much I’m trying now, no matter how long I’ve been sober, it doesn’t erase everything the girls have been through. And I can’t, in good conscience, have another child. Being an addict doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids to death. But it means that they have to put up with a lot and might end up having to care for you when, really, you’re the one who should take care of them. And I won’t even get into the bad genetics they might inherit. When I got back from the hospital, the girls had to take care of me. And throughout the years, they’ve had to take care of Kim, too. 
I know, you said. And I’m so sorry you had to go through this but… You were mean to me. You were cruel. 
I never meant to say you wouldn’t be a loving mother, he explained. Because there is absolutely no doubt in my mind about this. And I know it’s a sensitive subject for you. What I really meant to say is that, even though you’ve worked so hard, even though you’re doing so good, there is no certainty you won’t relapse at one point or another. It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be there for you if something happened. It means that it’s scaring the living shit out of me. I wouldn’t be able to handle having a kid with anyone, but if I’m being honest, I couldn’t handle the pressure of having one with you especially, because I’d be even more scared. 
You nodded sheepishly. When he put it in these words, it made more sense. You were still hurt but, in a way, you would see where he was coming from. 
But I realize that… It’s a me issue, for the most part, you know ? He finally said. And I guess that, just because it’s the way I see things doesn’t mean it has to be true for you. I know we’re in different situations. 
Yes, you said with tears in your eyes. Because for me… It was three months, Marshall. I only used for three months. And it doesn’t change the fact that I made mistakes. But I don’t want to be thought of as an addict for the rest of my life. Because that’s not who I am. It shouldn’t have to define who I am. And I will not have you think of me as a charity case.
I know, he agreed. I fucked up. I’m sorry. But I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. For the record, I don’t think of you as an addict. And you are not a charity case. You have never been. Even at the beginning, we bonded over the topic of addiction and I wanted to be there for you, but it was never about charity or whatever. Or maybe it was, but with me being the damn charity case. 
I never saw you like that, you said. 
Before I met you, I was a fucking mess, you know ? He said. I was sober for fifteen years, I was doing good on paper, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t happy. I never really thought I could be. Content, maybe. But happy ? No. You’re the one who showed me what true happiness looks like. You were never a fucking charity case, Y/N. You’re the air I breathe. 
You could see the sincerity in his eyes. He was holding your hand in his and staring at you. Things seemed a bit clearer now but you weren’t ok. Maybe he didn’t actually mean all the things he’d said, but you still took them to heart. You stared back at him, not saying much. And if you weren’t pushing him away, you weren’t exactly making a move in his direction either. You were just sitting in bed, feeling emotionally drained. 
I’m really sorry, you know, he reiterated. I know I’ve said that a hundred million times tonight, but I mean it. Can you forgive me ? 
I… I don’t know, you said blandly. 
I’ll do whatever it takes, Y/N, he said. I swear to God, all you have to do is tell me what to do and I’ll fucking do it. I’ll jump in front of a train, I’ll sell a kidney, I’ll take my heart out of my chest and offer it to you. Anything. 
Can you… Leave me alone ? You asked. 
He looked absolutely heartbroken and you didn’t want to hurt him but, at the same time, you didn’t want a sacrifice. What you wanted, what you really needed was time and space. You looked at him as he swallowed dryly. There was a hint of panic in his eyes. 
Please don’t leave, he pleaded. 
I need time, Marshall, you explained. I need space. 
Please, he begged. 
He cupped your face and whispered to you how much he loved you, how much he needed you. “I can’t lose you”, he kept on saying. He then proceeded to kiss your forehead, your cheeks, your lips… He seemed virtually unable to let go of you. You burst into tears as soon as his lips touched yours and he held you as you sobbed in his arms, repeating how sorry he was. Your tears were getting his tank top wet but he didn’t seem to care. He kept on spilling soft kisses on your face, holding you close. You let him kiss you as you clutched his top. His hands slowly started to wander, gently stroking your thighs. “Let me show you how much I love you”, he whispered before kissing you. You enjoyed his touch, the warmth of his embrace… But something was still off. You didn’t feel in the right headspace. You knew he loved you, but you didn’t feel safe on an emotional level. 
Marshall… No, you simply whispered. 
Are you alright ? He asked. What can I do ? 
Please, just leave, you asked with tears in your eyes. 
He bit his lower lip but eventually nodded. He stroked your cheek with a worried look before getting up and walking towards the door. He took one last look at you as you muttered an apology. After he closed the door, you let your head fall onto the pillow. 
MARSHALL’S POV 
After leaving Y/N alone in the guest bedroom, Marshall was unable to sleep. He had fucked up big time, he knew it. And now, she might leave his sorry ass. For good, this time. The perspective of her walking away from him again was making him sick to his stomach. He kept on thinking he’d done everything wrong in their relationship, perhaps from the start. All he wanted was to give her the very best in life but he kept on fucking up, on saying the wrong things, on letting his anger and past trauma take over. Perhaps he was right when he said he’d end up alone. He was consumed by self-loathing and self-hatred, with absolutely no clue as to how he could possibly make things right (assuming it was even possible). His mind kept on going to the darkest places. He’d always been prone to weird, dark and intrusive thoughts but it’d been a long time since he had felt this way. Ever since they had gotten back together, life had been sunshine and candy. Now, it was the contrary. He kept on filling pages upon pages in his notebook with words, rhymes, schemes, phrases… If anyone ever found this, they would probably call a psych ward to have him committed. His lyric sheets had always resembled the scribblings of a mad man - something a lot of people made fun of him for - but these pages were something else. They were deeply disturbing. Probably because that’s exactly what his thoughts were. Disturbing. After a night alone in the living room, staring at the ceiling and writing, he decided not to go to the studio. Whenever he was having a bad day, going to work and keeping up with his rigorous 9 to 5 schedule usually helped but, this time, he didn’t have it in him to get ready, get in his car and go to work like nothing happened. Not when Y/N might be gone by the time he would come back. So much for their first holiday as a family. For the perfect future he had planned for them. For all the places he wanted to take her. All the plans he wanted to make. He couldn’t imagine facing his family and telling them that he had fucked up. He could already see the look of disappointment on his daughters’ faces. They had managed for Y/N to get back to him only for him to ruin everything. 
He was laying on the couch when he heard her come down. He immediately went to see her. 
Hey, he said. 
Good morning, she replied. 
Did you sleep well ? He asked in a sad attempt to make small talk and connect with her. 
Not really, she admitted. Aren’t you late for work ? 
I’m not going, he said. Not today. Look… Can we talk ? 
I came to talk to you, actually, she said. I have made up my mind. About leaving. 
For a few seconds, she didn’t say anything and time seemed frozen. He found himself unable to breathe as he stared at her, waiting for her to elaborate and put him out of his misery. He needed to know. These few seconds were absolute torture. The nine circles of hell. 
So ? He asked nervously. 
I don’t want to leave, Marshall, she said. I want to give us a chance. 
Thank God, he sighed as he went for an embrace. 
But, she said intently as she put distance between the two of them, I need time. 
O-ok, he said. Sure. Whatever you need, baby. Whatever you want. I told you, I’ll do anything, I’ll give you whatever you ask for. 
Would you consider therapy ? She asked carefully. 
I already do therapy, he replied with a puzzled look on his face.
You haven’t been to therapy since we came back from Europe, she pointed out. And I know that it’s mostly addiction counseling. With everything you told me yesterday, it’s clear that you have unresolved trauma that you should work on. So that you don’t take it out on me. And so that you can move on. 
I-I don’t think it’s something you can move from, he said honestly. But yeah, sure. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. 
Ok, she said. Thank you. 
Is that all ? He asked nervously. 
And I’m taking over the guest bedroom, she added. 
You want to sleep apart ?! He blurted out. 
I told you I need time, she said. Marsh, I… I love you. With all my heart. And I know you’re sorry. But I’m still hurt. And I have a lot to process. I’ll still be in the house, I’m not moving out. 
Ok, he sighed. 
He wasn’t happy about the prospect of spending more nights away from her, but at least she wasn’t moving out and that was enough for him to be able to breathe properly again. He would just have to suffer through it and do his best not to fuck things up. Y/N went to her appointment and he waited patiently, not too sure what to do. When she came back, she informed him that Talia would be coming over. No offense to Y/N’s best friend, but he had absolutely no wish to see anyone, so he simply decided to retreat in his home studio, trying to at least do something with all the lyrics he had written. Putting together tracks and getting the words out of his head was therapeutic, more so than any amount of time he would spend in a shrink’s office. He’d seen therapists before. When he started addiction counseling, he’d been advised to seek help regarding his childhood trauma, but he wasn’t too keen. So therapy had mainly been focused on his anger issues, his anxiety regarding work and addiction. He wasn’t a big fan of therapy, but if that’s what it took for Y/N to forgive him, he would bite the bullet. When he went back to the living room, at the end of the day, he was spent and his voice was raspy. He had been yelling in the mic a bit more than he usually did but, at least, his mind was a bit clearer. He found Y/N and Talia on the couch, drinking tea and looking at bridal magazines. 
Hi Em, Talia said with a huge smile before hugging him. 
Hey, he said. How’s wedding planning going ? 
Lots to do, she said as she gestured to the pile of notebooks and magazines on their coffee table. By the way… Are you free two months from today ? 
I’d have to check with Tracy about my schedule, he shrugged. Why ? 
Because I’m getting married, she shrieked ! We have a date ! 
That’s… soon, he pointed out. 
Well, I told Y/N not to tell you, and we’re not telling people yet, but you’re Jamal’s best man so you might as well know… We’re having a baby ! 
He looked at Y/N who was standing behind Talia, gesturing to him not to say anything. Obviously he wasn’t supposed to know. He smiled and congratulated her. He could see a sullen expression on his girlfriend’s face while Talia was talking about how Jamal took the news. Apparently, he was surprised but overjoyed and they decided to get married before she started showing. Y/N was smiling but he could see that she was not doing too well. Given everything he knew about how hard losing her own baby had been for her, it wasn’t too surprising. 
So, anyway, we’re going to need all the help we can get, Talia said. Can we count on you, Em ? 
Sure, he sighed. But don’t count on me to help pick flowers or stuff like that… 
Can you at least hook Jamal with one of your stylists so that he has a decent tux ? Oh, and if you know a venue we can use, too… I mean, I bet you’ve visited a few between Hailie’s engagement and Alaina’s wedding. 
None that can fit your guest list, he chuckled. Jamal has told me about it. Nothing that’s available two months from now can accommodate 350 guests ! 
Believe it or not, they have actually agreed to shrink it down, Y/N said with a slight grin. We’re down to 50 guests. 
Only because we’re having a second wedding after the baby is born, Talia warned. This is basically eloping. With a few guests, a party and an actual ceremony. 
So it’s an actual wedding, he said. 
Y/N and Talia went back to their wedding planning. From what he gathered, his girlfriend would have her hands full for the next two months. He went to chill in his office for a bit, listening to some music. When it was dinner time, he went to see Y/N and ask if she wanted to have dinner but found her on the couch, curled into a ball. She was crying and seemed in pain. Talia was gone. 
Baby, what’s wrong ?! He asked as he checked on her. 
Nothing, she mumbled. I got an IUD inserted this morning and I’m having contractions and cramps. They said it’s normal, though. 
I’m sorry, he said. Is there anything I can do ? 
Don’t worry about it, she said. 
She tried to move and pick her phone from the table but even that seemed too hard to do for her. 
You seemed fine, earlier, he commented. 
They gave me pain medication immediately after but it’s starting to wear off, she explained. Plus, I didn’t want to worry Talia, you know ? 
Right, he said. Don’t you have any pain meds you can take ? 
They prescribed some for me but they warned me it was pretty strong so I didn’t pick up the prescription. 
Oh, he said. Do you want me to take you to the doctor ? ER ? 
It’s fine, she said. Don’t worry about it. 
Maybe you should have taken the prescription, he commented. I don’t like seeing you in pain. 
I still don’t fully trust myself, you know ? She said as she nervously played with her sobriety pendant.
You’re stronger than you think, Y/N, he replied. I mean it. 
No you don’t, she huffed. 
Yeah I do, he insisted. Remember, when we started hanging out, when I told you nothing would happen between us ? I thought your sobriety was too new and I was scared But you proved me wrong. You’re doing so good. It’s impressive. 
Thanks, she said sheepishly. 
You never cease to amaze me, you know ? 
She blushed and smiled a little. Watching her act so shy made him realize what an asshole he’d been for failing to protect that smile. She was too precious and she had absolutely no idea about it. All he wanted to do was to take care of her. And that was exactly his plan. 
I wanted to know if you were hungry. Do you want to eat dinner ? He asked. 
Sure, why not, she said as she started to get up. 
Stay here, he said. I’ll cook. 
I can do it, she assured him. 
You’re not in the state to cook, he pointed out. Let me take care of you, ok ? 
Before she got a chance to protest, he went to get her hot water bottle, her favorite blanket, a hoodie and the book on her bedside table and brought them to her before heading to the kitchen and preparing something to eat. They ate in relative silence. He couldn’t speak for her but he wasn’t too sure what to say. At that point, he’d apologized enough times that she knew for a fact how sorry he was. She was a bit distant but, at this point, she didn’t seem too mad either. Ever since they started dating, it was the first time they had an argument that wasn’t solved in the next hour. With anyone else, he wouldn’t have cared too much but with Y/N, he hated it, probably because he realized it was his first serious, loving relationship with someone who had a rather healthy outlook on relationships. No shade to Kim, he had truly loved her but, looking back, he knew they’d been doomed from the beginning, always scheming and playing games. Y/N, on the other hand, had always been brutally honest, when she made it clear that she was attracted to him, or when she broke up with him to stay true to her dreams. He’d always been used to his partners bending their own rules in order to be with him, wanting to be with him at all costs even if it meant that the whole thing would be unhealthy and disingenuous, but Y/N was not like that. She was honest and true. She would rather leave than take bullshit and, even for his fifty-two year-old self, it was intimidating. 
Thank you for taking care of me, she said softly. 
I take my job seriously, he said with a slight smile. I promised to care for you and I fully intend to stick to the plan. 
You don’t have to, you know ? 
I want to, he replied. How’s the pain ? 
The water bottle helps, she shrugged. I think I’ll go to bed, though. I’m tired. 
Before she could get up, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up before carrying her up the stairs. She gasped in surprise but let him. She was securing herself with her arms around his neck. 
You know… I could have walked, she pointed out. 
Oh. Too late, he said innocently - enjoying the contact with her far too much. 
He let her down on the bed in the guest bedroom. For a split second, he considered bringing her to their bedroom but he wanted her to see he respected her decision, however strongly he might disagree with it. He wasn’t sure how he could be expected to sleep well without her. Last night had been a nightmare, just like any night without her. In retrospect, it was a miracle he hadn’t ended up in the hospital in the six months they’d been apart. He had gotten so little rest. To be fair, he had Talia and Jamal to thank for keeping him somewhat sane and healthy. He wouldn’t have been able to release the album and tour otherwise. Hopefully, this time, he wouldn’t have to sleep without her for the next six months. 
So, do you need anything ? He asked as he tried to hide his nervosity. 
I think I’ll be fine, she replied with a soft smile. 
Look, I saw the look on your face, earlier, when Talia was here, he said. Are you sure you’re alright ? 
I’m triggered, that’s all, she said as she looked down. These contractions are bringing memories. So does Talia’s pregnancy. If I’m being honest, I’m having a bit of a… hard time rejoicing for her. 
Tears were welling in her eyes and he could not resist the urge to hold her. He sat on the bed and pulled her in his arms. She looked at him with a sad look on her face. 
I’m a terrible person, she muttered under her breath. My best friends are having a baby and I’m thinking about myself. 
You’re not, he assured her. Considering what you’ve been through, it’s absolutely understandable. And I guess I didn’t really help last night, with my shitty remarks…
Not really, she admitted.
You’re a great friend, Y/N, he said reassuringly. You just need a little time. 
I guess, she shrugged. Plus, they deserve to have a happy family life, you know ? That’s everything Talia’s ever wanted. They’re going to be amazing parents. 
They are, he nodded. And they’re pretty lucky to have you, too. 
You think ? She sighed. 
Of course, he said. You’re always there for people. Look, you’re even putting together their wedding at the last minute. 
That’s the least I can do, you know ? They’ve always been so good to me. I just want to make them happy. 
He pressed a kiss to her temple and she gave him a weak smile. 
I think I should sleep, she said softly. 
Ok, he replied. Call me if you need anything ? 
Sure. Thanks, Marshall. 
They stared at each other in silence. Sleeping in separate rooms felt unnatural and he could tell she felt it too. He reluctantly left her and went to their room, though he knew for a fact he wouldn’t be able to sleep. 
In the following days, things seemed to ease up a little. Y/N was still a little distant and keeping to herself but, from the looks of it, she could see he was making efforts. He tried not being too obvious and not sucking up to her too much but he also wanted her to see that he was serious when he said he would do whatever it takes. They managed to have small talks and ate dinner together in front of the TV before going to sleep - still in separate rooms. As for physical intimacy, it was sparse. The only thing he got away with was holding her hand. It was incredibly frustrating - having her so close but so far away at the same time while trying his best to get her to forgive him. He was nervously beating around the bush, avoiding the topic but it was driving him crazy. In all of his previous relationships, it would have led to angry sex and the matter would have been settled and buried only to be dug up for the next argument. Not very healthy but, at least, he wouldn’t have to sleep alone. Thankfully, the evening before Thanksgiving, the universe seemed to be on his side. When he got back from the studio, he found Y/N in the home theater, preparing to watch a movie. 
Hey, he said. Mind if I join you ? 
Sure, she replied with a smile. How was your day ? 
It was alright, he said. What are we watching ? 
You can choose, she offered. I just wanted to get my mind off flower arrangements for a minute. 
Horror movie ? He suggested. I bet we can find one where a bridezilla gets killed, that might comfort you. 
Hey, Talia’s not that bad, she giggled. But yeah, let’s go for horror ! 
She seemed in a good mood, which was a good sign. They settled on a movie and he joined her on the couch. In all honesty, he couldn’t care less about the movie - all he wanted was to be with her. And the only reason he had suggested watching a horror movie was because he knew she was chicken-hearted and, at that point, he would take any excuse and opportunity to hold her. If that implied relying on a jumpscare scene, so be it. He usually had better moves than that with the ladies, but this felt like a last resort. Sure enough, a scary scene came up and he saw her jump up a bit. He tried to hide a smile and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She muttered a “thank you” and focused on the movie. Every time the atmosphere got tense in the movie, he could feel her squirming and nervously bite her lip. And every single time, he pulled her a bit closer to him, until her legs were practically over his. He was almost brought back to the times when they were just friends and every brush against her took his breath away. Being with her, he had gotten used to the proximity, but now that she had deprived him of her touch, it felt the same as before. She took him by surprise by reaching for his hand and interlocking their fingers. He was feeling like a teenager on his first date at the movies. Should he try and kiss her ? Or would it ruin the moment ? It was stupid how much power she had over him. How nervous she could make him, and her ability to make him fall for her all over again just by holding hands. Another jumpscare scene occurred and she let out a small scream before hiding her face in his neck. God bless horror movies. He couldn’t contain a small laugh. 
You’re enjoying this, aren’t you ? She whispered accusingly. 
I missed this, he admitted. I missed you. 
I missed you too, you know ? 
She looked at him and he could not resist the temptation to capture her lips with his own. She immediately kissed him back, her lips feeling softer than ever. Four days without her touch was way too long. He could feel his heart rate increasing as her lips parted and their tongues found each other. He ran his fingers through her hair while she traced his shoulders with her fingers. Her touch was electrifying and he simply couldn’t get enough. He kissed her over and over again. 
I love you, he whispered. I love you so much. 
I love you too, she said emotionally. 
I need you, he pleaded. Let me make love to you. 
Ok, she whispered, her breath accelerating. 
As soon as she spoke, he did not waste time and got up before taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom. Their bedroom. He closed and locked the door behind them, making it clear that she was not going anywhere. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to want to. She was looking at him in anticipation. He went back to her and kissed her passionately before pushing her on the bed. He took his time making love to her, enjoying her soft moans and the sensation of her legs around his waist. Her nails scratched his back as she cried his name when they both reached their apex. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck as they caught their breath. 
You’re incredible, he said lovingly. And I’m never letting you out of this room ever again. 
Really ? She giggled. 
Try me, he said with a grin. 
She gave him a playful look and tried to get out of bed but he held her even closer, causing her to struggle a little. She tried wrestling him, but to no avail. Eventually, she gave in to his warm embrace and let her head roll onto his chest. 
So… I guess I have no choice but to sleep here tonight ? 
Don’t tell me you were seriously thinking about sleeping in the other room ? He groaned. 
Not really, she confessed with a small smile. I don’t like sleeping apart. I hate being mad at you, you know ? 
And I hate it when you’re mad at me, he replied. I’ll do better. I promise. 
I know, she shrugged. Sorry it took me a while to cool off. 
I really hurt you, he said. I understand. But just so you know, I want to do everything I can to deserve you. 
In all fairness, it wasn’t just you, you know ? She explained. It was a lot to process in very little time. I was triggered and brought back to some tough memories. I needed a little time on my own… 
I get it, he said. I missed you, though. 
I missed you too, she said. 
I don’t want to lose you, Y/N, he said in all seriousness. 
I know, she said. I’m still here. 
He nodded and closed his eyes, relaxing a bit as she traced the outline of his tattoos with her index. She let out a small giggle as she looked at his stomach tattoo. 
What ? He asked as he opened an eye. 
I just remembered I’m meeting the woman whose name I see every time I go down on you, she said with a smirk. 
He was a bit taken aback by the comment. She was smiling but it was the first time she commented on Kim’s name being tattooed on him. He’d had these for so long that he tended to forget about them anyway. Now that she mentioned seeing the tattoo every time she went down on him, though, he was feeling a bit self-conscious about it.
Is that a problem ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. The tattoo ? 
Not really, she shrugged. I don’t really see it, most of the time, you know. It’s just kind of funny, when you think about it. 
Right, he hummed. So… You’re not too stressed out about tomorrow ? 
I don’t know, she said. It’s still weird but, realistically speaking, I don’t have anything to worry about, right ? 
Of course not, he said. 
I’ll be fine, then, she replied. I guess I’m curious, though. 
About what ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. 
About her, she said. You had a complicated relationship with her. 
That’s one way to put it, he said. But, you know, as far as I’m concerned, she’s more like an old friend, and I know it’s the same for her. I’m just good old annoying Marshall. So, really, you have nothing to worry about. 
I know, she said with a smile. And when I start freaking out about it, I remember that you’re not married to her anymore. 
She was smiling softly, visibly at peace with the situation. That was encouraging and a good sign for the next day’s celebrations. However, he was starting to feel his anxiety rise once again. Right when he thought everything was getting back to normal and that he could enjoy Thanksgiving in peace, his past had to come and bite him in the ass. Y/N was looking at him lovingly and he could not find it in himself to contradict her. The only problem was, by saying nothing, he was lying to her face. He was still very much married to Kim.
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marvuders · 1 day
Text
"No swearing, Mooney!" — Wolfstar
warnings: heavy food mentions word count: 3,187 characters/era: sirius black, remus lupin, baby!harry potter, mention of other marauders. au where james & lily lived.  summary: Remus is tasked with cooking breakfast for himself, his boyfriend, Sirius and their friend's baby Harry. It doesn't go quite well at first, but everything works out in the end.
-
Remus quickly glanced over his shoulder, but he couldn’t help but stop and take in the moment. His boyfriend, Sirius, was jumping around their lounge room with the largest smile on his face, his hair bouncing around with him, his baby hairs starting to stick to his forehead that was quickly becoming sweaty. Their friend’s toddler, Harry, was just as excited as Sirius was. He couldn’t call it jumping, but Harry was bouncing with Sirius’ movements, laughing as they went.
It was such a sweet moment, he wished that he had his camera nearby. Muggle cameras couldn’t do justice to this moment. It was small moments like these that made Remus fall in love with Sirius all over again.
The coldness in his hand quickly reminded him what he was actually meant to be doing, Remus caught the short end of the stick this morning and was meant to be cooking breakfast for all three. He placed the milk down on the counter, rubbing his hands together as he looked at the messy counter in front of him and the recipe he didn’t quite understand. Remus never really understood the appeal of cooking, he couldn’t do it, he didn’t enjoy it and he certainly didn’t enjoy the clean up afterwards either. His mother always said that he’d have to find a partner who could cook, or to learn how to quickly. Well, jokes on her, because he did find someone who is actually good at cooking. Which made him wonder why Sirius wasn’t cooking and playing with the baby instead.
But hearing the endless laughter of Sirius and Harry made his forthcoming battle with food a bit easier to handle. He brought the recipe to the front of the counter, skimming over the words that presented themselves as jargon.
“Okay… so that much milk,” Remus whispered to himself, “I need containers right? Right.” He flung open the cupboard door, picking one of the measuring jugs and a small bowl from the thousand of plastic containers. He measured the milk, it wasn’t exact but that’s for only him to know, then added it to his ‘mixing bowl.’ Sirius said he needed that.
“Crack two eggs into a separate bowl,” He continued reading, his eyebrows furrowing with each line. Remus got another bowl out and the eggs. Well, turns out he is worse at cracking eggs than he is cooking in general. First attempt, he hit the egg against the bowl too hard and it shattered everywhere. Second attempt saw half the shell go into the bowl. Third attempt was quite alike the first. This when he started to get frustrated.
“Bloody shit!” Remus said, upon the forth egg falling out of his hands and breaking before he could even get it near the bowl. He took a breath and stood there, with the shattered egg in front of him on the floor.
“Okay, what the actual fu-”
“HEY!”
Remus turned to find Sirius standing in the lounge room, with his hands dramatically sitting on his hips. His long black hair sitting in front of his face, certain parts sticking up from where no doubt Harry had messed it up. The toddler was sitting on the couch, thumb in mouth, excitedly looking between himself and Sirius.
“Don’t you dare swear in front of the baby!” Sirius dramatically exclaimed, tilting his head slightly as he huffed and puffed, the corner of his mouth fighting off a smile. “Lily will kill me if we give Harry back swearing and cursing, Lupin!”
Remus lifted his hands up to his chest, displaying his open palm to Sirius, proclaiming his ‘innocence.’ Sirius slowly started to smile and let out a chuckle, lowering his hands from his hips as he lowered himself next to Harry. Remus found himself smiling, feeling a bit calmer than he was a minute ago.
“No swearing, Moony,” Sirius pointed his finger in Remus’ direction. “Sorry mum,” He replied, quickly flashing a wink at his boyfriend, who had already gone back to play with Harry. The short bust of silence did not last long.
Remus grabbed a few paper towels from the roll, bending down to wipe the shattered egg off the floor, then the ones on the counter. He didn’t figure there was a point in trying to save any, they could always buy more. So all failed attempts went into the bin. After some quick cleaning, he grabbed a few more eggs out of the fridge. Remus was just about to pick up the first one, to crack against the bowl when two arms wrapped around his waist from behind and he felt Sirius pressed up against him, resting his chin on Remus’ shoulder. He could sense that he was smiling, no doubt already thinking of an insult about his egg-cracking skills. Sirius and James had made immense fun of Remus in the past about how he couldn’t cook.
“You’re putting too much pressure on them,” Sirius softly said. He proceeded to wrap his hands around Remus’, guiding them as they softly cracked the egg against the bowl, and further cracked it open to let the insides fall into the bowl. Sirius had to lean around Remus to peer into the bowl, he wasn’t quite tall enough to see over his shoulder. Of course, this time there wasn’t any shell within the bowl. Remus smiled, as Sirius quickly grabbed the other egg and cracked it into the bowl, another perfect crack.
“You can’t live without me, babe,” Sirius cockily said, as he withdrew his arms, smacking Remus on the arse as he laughed and walked back to Harry. Remus shook his head and smiled, he knew the cocky remark was coming, sooner or later.
With two eggs perfectly cracked, he looked back to the recipe, moving through the steps and attempting to clean as he went. Sirius taught him it was best to clean whilst you cook, although he never understood exactly why. He had the stovetop on, the grease in pan and bread in the egg-milk mixture. So far so good. Remus moved two pieces of bread into the pan, and luckily they didn’t stick.
A few minutes later, and it was time to flip the bread. Remus caught himself holding his breath, everything had gone good so far— other than the eggs of course, but flipping was the crucial part. Remus chucked the utensil down on the counter with a heavy thud, taking a heavy breath. Both pieces of bread were burnt. He chucked the temperature down a notch, running his hands through his hair. Remus felt rather frustrated and annoyed. Any other baby-less day, he would’ve been thinking out loud and swears would take up most of his dialogue. And he probably would’ve tried to bribe James or Sirius to step in and do it for him. Everyone knew Remus and cooking didn’t exactly mix. But himself and Sirius had been trusted to babysit, and a part of that was supplying a meal, and not cursing. He took another deep breath and continued to wait and cook the bread. Wait and flip, wait and flip, try not to curse, wait and flip.
“Okay, I’m fucking done! Why is it so fucking hard?” Remus yelled, chucking the burnt bread into the bin and turning off the stovetop. “It’s just fucking bread? Fucking bastards of things.”
He continued to chuck things all over the kitchen, the utensil just made it into the sink, the bowls got shoved to the side, making loud noises as they went. It wasn’t long before everything was even more of a mess than it was before, and Remus just stood there in the kitchen, his chest heaving up and down as he took heavy breaths. He lifted his hands up, burying his face in them.
“Hey,” Sirius whispered, slowly walking over to the kitchen with Harry lifted and sitting on his hip. “Moony, hey, babe?”
Remus lowered his hands, turning to face Sirius. He went to go speak, opening his mouth slightly, but soon closed it when no words came to fruition.
“It’s okay, we all know you can’t cook,” Sirius’ tone was light and caring but with a hint of humour. “But,” he paused, hiking Harry further up his body, “you gotta stop cursing in front of the baby.”
There was a moment of silence before Remus started to laugh which Harry quickly copied and joined in. All three boys were laughing in their disaster of a kitchen, bits of eggs, milk and burnt bread all over the place. Remus made eye-contact with Sirius, smiling softly as he mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’ Sirius quickly responded, shaking his head and walking forward a few steps to gently kiss him on the cheek.
Remus took Harry out of Sirius’ arms, wrapping one arm around his legs and bottom, whilst his other hand supported his upper back and shoulders. Harry’s hair resembled James’ hair- dark, wavy and full of volume. His bright green eye’s paralleling Lily’s, having the same level of innocence and mischievous intent behind them. Harry reached for Remus’ face, playing and prodding with his cheeks, pushing around the skin and making Remus look like an utter idiot— but it made Harry laugh.
“Pete’s gonna get us drive through and bring it over,” Sirius said, walking back into the kitchen, “to save you trying to cook again, Moony.”
“Thank you Pads,” Remus replied, removing his upper hand from Harry’s back and chucked a few utensils in the kitchen sink. Sirius started to do the same, not exactly cleaning but just general tidying. It’ll make it easier for when they did eventually get around to cleaning.
Remus didn’t quite know how Sirius could make such a trivial task comforting and relaxing. He slowly rocked Harry, whilst wiping the benches with his spare hand. Sirius cleaned up the leftover food and rinsed out the bowls whilst making small, banter comments under his breath about Remus’ lack of cooking skills, and cleaning skills. It had calmed all the previous tension he was holding from his outburst with the toast.
“I’m just saying, Moony, my mother’s hair would turn instantly grey if she even looked at the mess you left our kitchen in!” Sirius exclaimed, dramatically putting his arms out for further flair.
“Lower your voice, Black,” Remus softly said, tilting his head towards Harry, who was now almost asleep, his head resting in the crook of Remus’ neck, his little hand grasped onto a section of his top. Neither of them couldn’t help but smile. “The baby’s trying to sleep.”
“Least it isn’t swearing,”
“I hate you, sometimes,”
“If only I knew how bad a cook you were before I said yes.”
Remus squinted at his boyfriend, if there wasn’t a baby in his arms, he probably would’ve tackled him. Sirius stood there, a grin plastered on his face, his hair messy and in need of a haircut, his graphic tee had no sleeves, showing off his arms quite well. Remus had briefly forgotten about their banter, taking a minute to admire Sirius’ stature, his toned arms and how he always managed to pull off ripped skinny jeans.
“Hey!” Sirius whispered with force, “I just insulted you, idiot, don’t have anything to say?”
“You’ll make up for that later, Pads.”
“Pete’s out the front,” Sirius said, with his phone in hand. “Be back in a minute.”
Remus carefully peered down at Harry, moving incredibly slowly in an attempt to not awaken him. He was fast asleep, with a small pool of drool forming onto his top. Grabbing his blanket off the top of the couch, he slowly wrapped it around Harry before placing him in his make-do bed just beside the couch. Harry settled in nicely, his face moving ever so slightly reacting to whatever that little head was dreaming about. Sirius was back rather quickly, with food in hand.
They both sat down on the couch, their bodies leaning up against each other. Sirius reached into the takeout bags, pulling out the pancakes and fries that Pete got from them. Remus quickly went for the bag chips, or the best chips, in his opinion.
“I do love you, you know,” Sirius said, with his mouth half-full, “I love you and your crappy cooking skills.”
Remus lifted his arm, wrapping it around Sirius’ shoulder, pulling him in closer towards his own body. “I love you too, I couldn’t eat without you.” He laughed, reaching for some more fries.
It was a comfortable silence within their apartment. The two of them sitting on the couch, enjoying each other’s company and physical affection, whilst Harry slept in his make-do bed beside them. The smell of fresh takeout filling their senses. It was moments like these that Remus knew he made the right decision a few years ago. When he had the choice to keep his feelings to himself or take the gamble and potentially ruin his friendship. He was incredibly grateful that he took the risk; otherwise, he wouldn’t have one of his best friends beside him, stuffing his face with chips, with his body pressed against his own. And he certainly couldn’t call that best friend his boyfriend either.
Remus squeezed Sirius into a side-on hug, resting his head against Sirius’ hair. He couldn’t help but smile whilst they both continued to eat their not-so home-cooked breakfast. It was this that he had longed and yearned for, a sweet life that he never thought he could have, let alone deserve it.
“I really fucking love you, Sirius,” he whispered, taking another bite of food. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Sirius turned to eye-ball Remus, smiling slightly. “I really trucking love you too, Moony,” he paused, “but how many times do I have to tell you, no swearing in front of the baby!”
“He’s asleep, idiot,”
“Still! We’d never be allowed to babysit again.”
They both started to laugh, Remus moved forward, brushing their noses together. He closed his eyes as he started to close the distance between the two of them, Remus could feel Sirius smiling as he pressed his lips against his loves. Sirius kissed back as he tilted his head up, falling perfectly together. It was soft and light, Remus' chest felt light but full of emotion at the same time. His face seemed to form a smile without putting any thought into it. He couldn’t imagine any other place that he felt more happier or safer, with his lips against Sirius’, their limbs against one another.
Sirius pulled back first, giving Remus that warm smile, the type that included his eyes, where these little lines in the outer corner of each eye would appear, and his eyebrows would lift slightly. It was when Sirius was the most beautiful.
There was a specific thought that rushed through Remus’ head. He had to actively try to stop it from coming up and out of his mouth. He couldn’t ask it yet, no, not yet. Could he?
Sirius had turned back to the remainder of the food, it gave Remus a minute to think. He’d been wanting to for months, he had pondered different moments, different ways to ask it. He had even second questioned whether they were at that point in their relationship, whether he would actually say yes. Remus knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Sirius, he was convinced that Sirius was the love of his life.
Remus found himself lifting his body off the couch, his legs threatening to drop out from underneath him as he walked towards their shared bedroom. He’d brought a set of rings a few months ago now, it was an impulsive buy. Remus dug them out of the hiding spot, opening the boxes and looking over them.
His chest pounded, he felt like he was dreaming- nothing seemed real, but he couldn’t help but feel that he was making the right decision. He quickly shoved the boxes in his pyjama pockets and walked back out to the lounge room.
“Sirius?” His voice shook as he spoke, he stopped a few feet in front of his unsuspecting lover. He could feel his hands getting clammy, his mouth felt dry, his heart pounded more than he had ever felt it do so before.
“Yeah, babe?” Sirius licked his fingers of sauce, looking up at him. Here goes nothing.
Remus slowly lowered down on one knee, pulling the ring box out of his pocket as he did. “Sirius Black,” he paused, opening up the box, revealing the ring and pointing it in Sirius’ direction, “I love you more than I can even begin to describe.”
“Rem-”
“Wait,” He interrupted, “I want to finish first; I wouldn’t be where I am without you. I can’t live without you. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Remus took a breath, he continued, “Padfoot, will you marry me?”
It felt as if the next ten seconds lasted forever, just staring at Sirius, awaiting an answer. He watched as Sirius moved the food off his lap to where he sat a minute ago, and his hand started to shake out of his control as Sirius lowered himself to the floor, level with himself.
“Yes,” He whispered, his hands clasped Remus’ shaking ones. There were a few tears forming in both of their eyes, Sirius didn’t seem to mind and just let them fall down his slightly blushed cheeks. “I’ll marry you.”
A relieved chuckle escaped Remus’ mouth, he took a heavy breath. His mind kept replaying ‘yes’ over and over again. It didn’t quite seem real. They were both crying on their lounge room floor, grasping one another. Sirius leaned forward, moving one of his hands to the side of Remus’ face, running his thumb back and forth along his cheek.
“I love you too, Moony,” Sirius cried, “so, so much.”
“Sirius Lupin has a nice ring to it,” His voice was barely audible, but he could see Sirius smile.
“It does, doesn’t it?” Sirius sniffled as he pulled the ring out of the box, offering it to Remus and held his hand out. Remus chucked the box aside, slipping the gold ring onto Sirius’ finger, it matched his skin tone immensely. “It’s beautiful, Moony.”
The silence was full and warm, there weren't any words that came to either of their minds. It was truly the perfect moment.
Remus gripped onto Sirius, not wanting to let him out his arms, and he moved them both against the side of the couch. Sirius quickly settled in his lap, resting his head against his upper chest, there wasn’t a doubt that he could hear how fast and loud his heart was beating. Remus shut his eyes and lifted his hand to play with his now-fiance’s hair. Smooth as silk, like normal with a slight scent of pine. It was another one of Remus’ favourite things about his partner.
“You’re stuck with me forever now, you realise that right, Lupin?”
“Well, you’re stuck with my cooking, babe.”
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mysisters-bike · 2 days
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what do you think about Eric and Dylan being considered victims, being made crosses, etc. ?
it bring into question what we should consider as "victims" as a society. if we look at it literally, were they victims? yes, to some sort. they were victims to parents, peers, and a community that failed them.
i understand and empathize with the folks that put crosses up for them. whenever i think about these crosses, i think about a few particular messages that were left that have haunted me for years:
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"my generation is sorry if we failed you."
on dylan's:
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"prayers to your family - their child is lost."
"sorry we all failed you"
"NO ONE IS TO BLAME."
later, someone posted this sign on dylan's cross:
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"FATHER, forgive them, for they know not what they do. our love and prayers to their families. he that is without sin cast the first stone."
and behind it, it reads, "[through?] knowledge of God, we forgive you. you were pawns."
the messages left on these crosses were very powerful. they went up so soon after the shooting and while they were ultimately removed and destroyed, those messages were indicative of a community that understood that nuance of victimhood.
i think some people make eric and dylan victims for the wrong reasons. but i think forgiveness is, ultimately, the strongest tool in our boxes to healing. another unique piece to the whole aftermath of columbine is how much religion is referenced by everyone. in this scenario, i resonate so much with those messages, despite them being very religious. these people are begging their God to forgive them. they're exercising their knowledge of the crucifixion to ask, "and please, ensure that these murderers were forgiven too."
seeing a community do that, after being so freshly ruined and hurt by their actions, demonstrates to me that it's not inappropriate to remember the people they were.
long story short, i feel 50/50 on some of it. i think it's weird to line their crosses up with their victims but i think it's wrong to pretend they didn't exist and not want them to be forgiven.
after all, what did they say? HATE BREEDS HATE.
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aleenuhs · 14 hours
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Arthur comforting crying/ upset reader
𖦹 Always Here
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thank u anon <3
word count: 1,099
paring: Arthur x GN!reader
a lil bit of angst if u will.
You had accompanied Arthur, Charles, and Sadie on an outing to Saint Denis, to go play some poker at the Saloon.
Sadie had forced you to go, though you'd wanted to stay at camp finishing up your chores for the night.
But you went.
It was crowded and stuffy in the room, sitting across from the table they were playing at, eating some of the beef jerky you had in your pocket. A bit bored, you looked at the people in the room just watching, careful not to stare because people were easily offended by the gaze of another human being.
Arthur and the others were fully engrossed in their gameplay, which you'd opted out of cause you never understood it, or liked it for that matter. You wanted to go back to camp, not be here with a bunch of drunk men and working girls.
Your eyes fluttered, through al the noise, you somehow fell asleep for a bit.
When you woke back up, you were still sitting in the same chair. Surprisingly, you weren't robbed or anything bad.
You looked around the room again, spotting the table that Arthur, Charles and Sadie were once playing at, and they weren't there. Your heart rate immediately spiked, had they left without you?
You sprung up from the chair that you were sitting at and walked outside to see if they were out there, no clue where they'd went from the time you were awake, till now, not to mention, how long had you been asleep?
You walked around, in search for any of them, and no luck.
You knew Shady belle was within walking distance from where you were, but it was dangerous. And you didn't have your horse, so you couldn't ride back. The worst part was that they'd forgotten all about you, Sadie and Charles. But worst of all, Arthur had forgotten. It made you slightly angry that your own significant other would do such a thing. You walked up to a random person, who you saw had a pocket watch.
"Mister?" You spoke quietly, tapping him on the shoulder.
The man looked you up and down, before nodding.
"You know what time it is?"
"1:20."
Your eyes widened, "1:20, thank you." You repeated before walking off, damn it was late.
No stagecoaches were out at this time of night. What could you even do?
You walked around for a moment before you were met with a overwhelming urge to just walk all the way back to Shady Belle.
So you did. Holding yourself, as it was cold, you walked all the way back, shivering slightly. The tears left your eyes, but you didn't sob, no, they were silent tears.
When you arrived after 30 minutes of walking, you immediately walked into the house and went up to Arthurs room and stood before the bed, watching him sleep. he woke up to you. You looked wrecked, tear stained cheeks and bleary eyes, he could hardly see with just the small lantern lighting up the room.
He rubbed his eyes and sat up next to you. "Why aren't you in bed?" He asked, obliviously, maybe he was drunk.
You wanted to yell at him, but instead your words came out in a soft tone. "You left me, Arthur."
His eyes went back to their cold gaze. "Huh?"
"What is not to understand, Arthur? You left me at the saloon in Saint Denis!" Your words were more charged now, but not exactly yelling, just a bit more angry you felt.
"Jesus... Im sorry, I didn't mean to- er.. Leave you there darlin'." His eyes widening after he realized just what he had did. He gets up and puts his hands on your shoulders, and with this. You start to cry.
You don't even lift your head up to look at him, you play with your fingers.
His eyes fixed on how broken you looked, tears streaming down your face, he hardly knew what to do.
"I am so sorry." He speaks, almost silent. He brings you in, hugging you tightly, his big arms wrapped around you made you feel slightly better. But not entirely.
"I had to walk here, Arthur." You murmured.
His breath hitched. "Nobody... did anythin' to you, right?" He would curse himself if you said yes, but luckily, you shook your head. He sighed a breath of relief. "Good, but I truly am sorry, that I left you there, that we left you there."
You didn't respond, the tears still falling from your eyes. His warmth surrounds you, almost overheating your body. "Arthur promise me this won't happen again."
He looked at you, "I promise to try, I never intended for this to happen." He notices your lip trembling, he brings you even closer. "C'mere." He lays down on the bed signaling for you to join him there.
You hesitate for a moment, but end up laying right next to him, you nuzzled yourself right into his neck and sighed deeply. His calloused hand reached up to your face, fingers on your chin. "Look at me, darlin." He spoke softly, a difference in his voice, the voice that was usually brash and loud was somehow comforting you as you cried. "I love you, so much."
A smile reached your lips when he told you that. "I love you too."
"I will always be here for you, I can't believe I let myself do what I did back there." He admits. "I'm sure Sadie and Charles meant no harm by it as well."
You nod, knowing that there was no mailce behind this.
His hand runs up and down your back, soothing you, calming you down, taking away all your worries. He adjusted you, making sure that you were more than comfortable with him. He just held you.
At once, you were just sniffling, no more tears to shed. He had calmed you down, one of the only people who could.
He was truly the definition of duality, he could go from brutal to plain out kind and caring, and it was all for you. Everything he did, was for you, so you didn't have to worry. You could imagine that he was still constantly cursing himself now that he'd left you at the saloon, then walk all the way back to Shady Belle by yourself.
But now that you were safe in his arms, all those worries went away. "Shhh, shh. Rest, you can sleep now." He cooed, rubbing your neck and placing kisses on your forehead and nose.
You fell asleep shortly after.
a/n if u enjoyed it, smash the like and subscribe! jk, feel free to req more honey!
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lowkeyrobin · 2 days
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hiii! could you write an mcyt x reader that's like, going outside at night? idrk how to explain it lol, like going to the woods at night or somethin? tyyyy!!! :3
yeah sure!! hopefully I understood this correctly ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!
MCYT ; walk in the dark
includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, tubbo, badlinu, nihachu & quackity
warnings ; language, mentions of drunk tubbo
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
he's halfway scared of the dark, mostly because he doesn't know what's in it
he'll happily go on walks with you
"to protect you" though (we know that's a lie, he's the one who needs protecting)
he finds the chilly air and the gust against the trees kinda therapeutic
he understands why you go out so late lol
he'll often share an airpod with you so you can listen to some nice music as well
all fun and games til sabrina carpenter starts playing and you start singing along to feather and espresso
TUBBO
nah he's gotta be drunk to go out in the woods that late at night
scared of bears and/or people because it's a public space
he just doesn't wanna get eaten today, he has a tubbothon to stream man
he streams those walks with you when it's during those streams though ofc
the whole chats trying to gaslight him into thinking there's a bear 💀
you often shittily sing some corny 2000s songs and throw around sticks and rocks
RANBOO
didn't get the hype at first but will happily jump up from whatever they're doing to go with you
so therapeutic, they like the quietness and having a flashlight to guide their path like a horror game where probably nothing will happen
you often take flash selfies and post them when you're out as well
sometimes you edit them before posting and add something to the background, super subtle but noticeable to make the commenters freak out lol
they started believing it too much so you drew a ghost behind you to taunt them lol
loves the internet break though, he loves breathing the fresh air and feeling nature at his fingers
FREDDIE BADLINU
bros got a tent and everything just in case /j
also enjoys the internet break and spending quiet time with you as you walk
he collects rocks that he thinks look cool?
he finds a giant stick every time and uses it like a walking stick
30yo dad core
you also share airpods to listen to music
no judging if there's any crying, get those emotions out dude
counts all the squirrels he sees roaming around lol
"that's like the eighth one I've seen in the past five minutes!"
NIKI NIHACHU
finds it super therapeutic
straight up leaves her phone at her desk
flashlight and granola bar only
she always finds some cute little critter to look at before it runs away
plucks literally any flower and hands you a bouquet of them on the way home
"Oh my God, feel this rock!"
"my tryphobia is aching right now"
ALEX QUACKITY
fake hates it
he likes the music but he doesn't like fearing what's in the dark
"what if there's a bear??? or a raccoon!?"
"what's a raccoon gonna do to you?"
"eat me!"
likes touching everything he can get his hands on
also finds it nice and kinda thereupitic
opens up about his day and everything
peak hugging time
lots of selfies
he found a dead possum once and almost threw up
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