#every speed bump on the way feels like you’re going back to 0 again

[bitchassbucky]

#kaye chats with tags #recovery is fucking exhausting #im so tired #ive fallen off so many fucking times #i know it’s not linear but god #every speed bump on the way feels like you’re going back to 0 again

[itjazzbicch]

2-0

Pairing:  Matt Jackson x Fem Reader

Summary: Based off Surging Waves:

The reader and Matt have a wonderful first date that ended with some spice and created a strong bond between them. With a busy schedule, the reader tries to make some time for them and they do find time in the ring, learning their ring chemistry and then some...

Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Requested by:  No one (But I hope you all enjoy!)

Word Count:  2043

Tag List: @demonqueen29​ @jessiebean00​ @new-zealand-chic​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @justamess44​ @thatpanpal​ @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​  @linziland13​ @xxx-jazz-xxx​ @writtingrose​

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF

[Hey Matt, I know we’ve both been busy lately, but here in the city, I have my own ring. Wanna hang out and get some training in? Here’s the address if you decide to come]

A true connection was established during my first date with Matt, that connection making my heart ache a little every time he was away.

It had been a little over a week since we had time to ourselves because of how filled our schedules were but with a day between shows in the same city, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity.

I was hoping I didn’t come off as clingy or desperate by that message. Not receiving a response was a bad sign in my eyes.

An hour had passed when I gave up. Matt wasn’t coming. With a tense, angry hand, I snatched my sweat towel, ready to exit the ring, but then I heard knocking on the door.

“It’s open!” My voice echoed throughout the room, eyes exploding with happiness and relief at the sight of Matt walking through the door with a gym bay.

“Nice ring!” Matt complimented, finding the apron and jumping up, getting a good feel of the ropes, “Man, I don’t think our crew even does this good!”

“Thanks,” I appreciated, “I put a lot into this ring.”

Matt always knew how to make my eyes lock onto him, adoring his tye-dye t-shirt, but enjoying the show much more when he revealed his bare chest, his abs built and tone, tossing his shirt off.

I was enraptured by his every move but also distracted and just able to roll out of the way when he jumped off the top rope and into the ring, coming at me.

A sharp wheeze made my chest seize, exhaling deeply in the corner, stressing, “What was that about?”

“I told you, next time we’re in a ring, we’re having a match,” Matt recalled, “Remember?”

That was during our first kiss and I remembered, clear as day.

A fiendish, playful smile was my response; nodding my head when I stood up in the corner across from him, smiling, “Oh, I remember. Remember what I told you? Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

It was hard not to laugh when Matt turned away, as if there was a timekeeper's area, yelling, “Ring the bell! Ding! Ding! Ding!”

The first thing we did was get into a lock-up and this time, I actually had to use a good bit of strength. Matt was a lot strong than I anticipated, but I was able to keep up.

I tried keeping it simple with some chain wrestling, but our pace picked up a lot, especially since I was a high flyer. I was so used to moving so fast.

Lucha rolls, jumping off the ropes, dropkicks, arm drags, cross bodies; If we were on Dynamite, the fans would eat it up. We were basically wrestling a real match and it was astonishing how evenly matched we were.

All that fast-paced wrestling was wearing me down, so I decided to go for a pin. Matt and I’s hands were interlocked, trying to overpower one another, but I swept out his leg, then jumped on top of him.

With my head pressed hard against his shoulder, pinning him down to the mat, I called out, “One! Two!”

He kicked out and I tried again, pushing my head against his other shoulder, yelling, “One! Two!”

Matt was truly proving his strength, almost breaking my hold, trying to throw me off with a thrust of his hips upwards, but with a loud groan, I pushed them back down, keeping mine pinned against his.

Silence fell between us, a desirous look in his eyes when our eyes met, both of our chests heaving.

“Got damn it, I can’t take it anymore,” He heaved, breaking my hold and sitting up, cradling my face with both hands, powerful zealousness in his lips when they met mine.

His passion was so strong and stirring, small trembles radiating through his body, tensed up muscles that made his arms latch around my waist, keeping me in a warm embrace.

All those feelings flowing between us continued to grow stronger as my reaction was to return an even more spirituous kiss, my hands now cradling his face.

We probably could’ve kissed each other to the point where we stopped breathing and collapsed, but the sound of our lips popping free echoed in the room, the look of lust being shared between us.

“God, have I missed that,” Matt confessed, taking the moment to catch his breath.

“Really?” I whispered shyly; swimming in those deep brown eyes made me a little nervous. Everything about him was so striking, anything he did made my heart flutter and that intensified the second I felt his lips against mine.

“Yes,” He assured, chuckling like I was speaking nonsense, but the lust came back and kicked in hard, making me even more flustered, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you and it feels so good to have what I want.”

Knowing that we were experiencing the same emotions regarding one another made that nervousness fade away, getting what I wanted to, kissing him along with a scruff of his beard.

I fell in deep, getting lost and we began to think unconsciously, our bodies beginning to move together.

“What do you think of turning this match into a submission match, hm?” Matt offered, thrusting his hips into me gently.

“You think you can make me tap out?” I snickered, shaking from arousal when his hands pinned my hips to his, biting at my lower lip and growling:

“I know I can.”

“I’d love to see you try,” I grinned, slowly grinding against him, able to feel how the tension bulging between his thighs, his erect cock creating tight friction against his shorts.

“Oh, I’m going to,” He pledged, swapping positions and slamming me against the mat.

Clothes were flung all over the ring, shoes kicked out to the floor. For a moment, I couldn’t believe I was doing this in my ring, but the emotions between made me careless.

Only focused on Matt, kneeling back down to the canvas, hand giving soft strokes, attending to the length and thickness of his cock.

Stars were spinning around my head already, my brain so pleasurably dazed that I had my own, slow-motion view, but the speed of our movements caught up to me.

Our skin was hot pressed together, stinging steaming trapped and it wasn’t going to get any cooler from here.

His smile against my lips showed his excitement, enjoying the squish of my thighs when he spread them wide.

Sweat was forming and I was filled with heat, moaning against his lips, looking down for a moment to see his cock slowly disappear inside me, inch by inch.

My body showed how hungry I was for this, walls keeping ahold of him and not wanting to ever let go, slicking him so much already.

I could feel him being milked with every thrust, fighting some noise that could be declared sinful, feeling a pinch in my lower core that made me groan, “ugh!”

“You hiding your moans? Don’t act all tough “ He panted, holding my face by the jaw, sloppily kissing, “I know every noise you’ll make will be beautiful.”

“Ugh!” I gasped, still registering that pinch, “M-Matt!”

It made my body tremble, my brain having to process every move he made because it was so overloaded with pleasure and bliss, his pace quickening to satisfy both our needs.

A hand got tangled in his hair, pulling unintentionally, I just needed something, getting the contact I needed when I latched around his body, eyes rolling to the back of my head.

“Still not ready to tap yet?” He teased, not ready for the moan that jumped from his chest due to the feeling of my hips beginning to chase his, moving faster this his current pace.

“You should know by now, I don’t go down without a fight,” I growled, pulling at his hair a little again.

“You don’t go down without a fight?” He repeated with a deep grunt, making it tough for me not to fall into a puddle when he went off like a jackhammer, sentence being finished with a rough thrust.

With a tight scrunch of his nose, he sat up to admire his cock pulling back just to be sucked back in so quickly, biting his lips and focusing on the squelching sound being created between us, making an even bigger mess of me.

“G-go-“ I stuttered, a sharp arch forming in my lower back, fingernails scratching at the canvas.

“Spit it out,” He smiled, curious as to what I was going to say, thinking I was ready to tap.

“Got damn you, Matt,” I whined, gasping at the feeling of my sweet spot being hammered, rattling my body like an earthquake and I didn’t know how much my body could take before I became undone.

Matt could always read me well, doubling his efforts, such a sexy but devilish look on his face; hair falling down past his eyes, that look alone had me ready.

His eyebrows raised with expectancy when I became so dazed I could only babble out his name, lips having trouble that I made me drool.

To keep a stabilized flow of pleasure through me, he established a quick, pounding rhythm, balls slapping against my wet skin, raising my legs a little higher with a tight grip of my thighs.

It was as if someone was taking bumps in the ring with the way he was going, feeling every movement vibrate against my back and spine, ricocheting all over the place and making all of the pleasure ping around me and hit hard like a pinball machine.

There was no way I was going to get the chance to turn the tables and I didn’t want to. I wanted this and Matt blew my mind.

“I can’t understand you when you’re babbling like that,” Matt noted, wanting my words to express what was happening to my body.

My core coiled up like a spring, a spring that was ready to snap. It made my back arch harder on its own, almost making me sit up, but my body was also ready to collapse, keeping my shoulders down.

The heat was growing in the air thickly, making me overhear, breaking out in small sweats and with Matt going and going, his stamina showing no end, there was no running from the orgasm that lurked.

The squelching grew louder, deep groans rumbling in his chest from my walls pulsating, but there was no slowing him down.

“Matt!” I cried out loud, frantically grabbing him by the shoulders, needing his body for support, his heart pounding hard against my chest when gushing slick drenched his cock and thighs, making his cock pulsate, not daring to slow him down, delivering deep thrust and continuing to fuck me thoroughly.

There was no denying how good every part of it felt, but with all the heat trapped in my body, how my legs were shaking like hell, a faint ring in my ears when my chest stopped heaving, heartbeat echoing with a pound in my head.

With a faint wrist, I tapped his shoulder, holding his head that fell to my shoulder, kissing it with a smile, pinning his hips against mine to take a moment of his own to breathe.

The ring shook a little when he moved his knees, faintly giggling, “Your winner! Matt Jackson. Undefeated against Y/N!”

He was such a goof sometimes and I loved it, making me laugh hysterically when he added quickly, guilt in his voice, “Also, uhhhh, a new canvas is in this ring’s future.”

“Courtesy of Matt Jackson!” I huffed, mocking his announcer's voice.

He wasn’t done getting moans of out me yet, sharp whines falling from my lips when he sat up, slowly pulling out with a languid thrust, smiling into my eyes, “I think you and I should have more matches like these.”

“Oh yeah,” I grinned, blowing him a kiss, “I’m beating that undefeated streak of yours.”

#wrestling #wrestling imagine #wrestling fic #wrestling smut #aew #aew imagine #aew fic #aew smut #matt jackson #matt jackson x reader #matt jackson imagine #matt jackson fic #matt jackson smut #read and enjoy

[pirate-kwazii]

Watching Caves of Sac Actun for the first time and...

Decided to write down what I was thinking while watching it

“What’s in there?” “I don’t know, cave monsters probably” Kwazii what the hell

Did Dashi’s va change? She sounds different

And they are abandoning the Gup H, of course

Peso no!!!!!!

Of course they are in the forest without captains octocompass

Now the fish pack is leaking... naturally

Following the birds that knocked you out of the sky? Why not? Why are they just repeating “water”

Is that a cenote? (Is that how you spell it?)

It is!

“You must give something to the Great Guardians of the cenote!” *silence* “that’s us” “oh!”

I feel like the iguanas and Kwazii would get along

“We should wait here” *octopus coughs* well then

They’re going through the caves? Do they have enough oxygen for that?

Captain: we don’t have the right equipment

Peso: *sad face*

Captain: alright let’s do it

Inkling seven on one doesn’t seem fair... though to be fair if he needs that many to beat Kwazii then he must be really good

Well at least they noticed that Peso and Barnacles are gone

Kwazii’s pulling a Barnacles and telling someone else to sound the OctoAlert while standing two feet away from it

“You’ll have to go by... land” *dun dun dun*

Why does she have a crate of carrots

They already got to the Caribbean Sea?? Why didn’t Barnacles and Peso just use that to begin with???

Captain: hey can ya tell where the fresh water is

Coba: Coba coba!

Captain: what the fuck does that mean

Oh god captain looks nervous that’s not good

Is he claustrophobic

Why is he talking about ice did something happen

They found fossils what the hell how are they so calm about this

And peso can’t see now- HIS HELMET OH GOD NO

How did he not know he was upside down the water feels different upside down

Glue ain’t gonna help you if water leaks through

Coba you are freakin useless you don’t even show up until too late

Captains scared oh no-

Whoever drew this missing pictures are really good artists

Oh Dashi found the cave- and she took a picture and swam away

“I don’t think they’re in the Caribbean Sea” what could’ve given that away Dashi

Dead end. Of course.

*tosses Coba onto hat*

Oh rad there are bats

The trees are shaking and you didn’t notice?

“Uh-oh! We lost!!” Same

“Any luck?” “I found a mango” me

Is she gonna find the Gup H

“Found it!” *holds up snail* *holds up mango*

“*sigh* What did you find now” “captains compass!”

Oh good she did find the Gup H

They found the cave captain and peso went into!!

Why did she call them with his compass-

“Watery cave” “more like watery grave!!” Pfft

I love how Kwazii knew exactly who the iguanas were

*describes mango*

You didn’t think to mention the shaking trees earlier Grouber?!?!?!

“They’re gonna run out of air before they get there” called it

“Remember, not everyone who goes into the cenote, comes out of the cenote” “Is that ALL they know how to say?!” I feel you Kwazii

Damn Dashi you’ve already been in the caves?

Kwazii what do you know

Of course the vine would break

Yikes the captains panicking

“Captain is everything alright” what do you think Peso

Aw baby Barnacles

Aw that’s traumatizing

“Everyone’s afraid of something” damn

“We’ll be fine” *loud screech*

*tosses Cobra onto head again*

$3 says it’s Dashi’s friend

It was!! Good thing it was cuz I only have three dollars

“The poisonous venom tooth! You seen him?” excuse me

“I’ve always got spare bandages” where were you keeping those

“Any air left” “all out” how were you expecting to get out

Poor captain he’s panicking again

So what happens if the cave is too narrow for their helmets to fit through? *angst idea*

Wow Dashi was prepared

Gup Q? How many of those do you have???

It’s not going to last long at all I mean they did give some to Dashi’s friend

I think she’s repeating Peso’s name so she doesn’t forget it

“Have we gotten to the Caribbean Sea?” With the way this movies going I highly doubt it

Are those crocodiles-Yes they are

“Now they can’t sea us or smell us!” If you keep telling they’ll sure hear you

Flashlight dead again

Oh no captains out of air.. of course he’s not saying anything

“It’s so we can find our way out if we get lost” “isn’t that what all these gizmos is supposed to do” he makes a valid point

You’re asking the known to be reckless driver to be careful Dashi?

Why didn’t they just do all that from the start???

How long is that rope?!?

Kwazii: FULL SPEED AHEAD

Dashi: yea this seems safe

Kwazii: *happy screaming*

“Cuz that’s the home of the poisonous venom tooth!!” “What’s that” “you don’t wanna know” “Kwazii?” *lists off several monsters* nope

Kwazii: did you bump my tail

Tunip: no

Kwazii: *turns to Dashi even tho she’s multiple feet away* did you-

How is it that every creature they meet like the fish biscuits? Now I want to try one

Coba we get that you are in the wrong kind of water but these guys are running out of air calm down

“How could this get any worse?!” *flashlight dies again* “well guess that answers my question” Peso this is why we never ask that question

Of course the air pocket they found was tiny

IS IT THE REST OF EM!! IT IS!!!

“It’s a long story!”

*beat of silence*

“And I’ll tell it right now!”

“I’ll take care of those rocks!!” *kicks it* “OW! Yeah those rocks aren’t goin anywhere”

Uh oh that’s a tiny hole Captain you okay-

“What’s over there Peso?” “You’d have to see it to believe it!” Peso that’s not helpful

Awww Kwazii’s bein nice to the captain

THE ROCK COBA NO!!!

You got this matey!!

He did it!!!

Another cave in of course

Oh nice they found the Gup Q

Wonder what happened to the Gup H

Another dead end?!? Again?!?

The Gup just C H O M P E D the rock

THEY MADE IT!!!

Was that a lionfish-

Wow those animals are so happy he’s back how long was he gone?!?

Love how the iguanas just assumed they died

Barnacles: *is alive*

Iguanas: :0

All in all that was a pretty good movie lmao

#octonauts #kwazii #dashi #peso #captain barnacles #Tunip #grouber #ryla #is that how to spell it #caves of sac actun #kwazii rambles #long post

[needlepcint]

INTRODUCING...

          HALLE BAILEY, CIS WOMAN, 20, SHE / HER   ⟨  ✽  ⟩   hey, you haven’t bumped into nia williams lately, have you ? they have been living here for the past two years ( during the school semester ) and during that time, locals have gotten to know them as quirky & charming.  a little birdie told me they can be quite vain & devious  though. explains why they’re an architecture major at whitby university. they really remind me of field time at six am and still making your eight am looking flawless, spandex shorts under short skirts paired with high heels you can run in, && impeccably manicured hands handling any power tool with ease. if you’re ever looking for them, i bet you can find them around the retro room. 

HIGHLIGHTS...

          the daughter raised by a single father, a former nhler, though also with the help of his teammates’ wives and girlfriends — a unique situation that shaped her life ; a lover of beauty, no matter what it may be, but a little obsessed with it when it comes to herself ; tiny but with a nose for scoring, speed, and elusiveness on the field that’s made her a two time women’s soccer mvp and she’s only a junior ; sometimes comes across as a little ditzy and airheaded, but though she has the look of a girly-girl, looks can be deceiving and certainly don’t underestimate her ; has an incredible knack for turning old things into new and desired items, mostly with regards to furniture and knicknacks.

THE STORY...

— cole harbour, nova scotia, the birthplace of sidney crosby the next one, eight years later — nathan mackinnon, and six years after that : nia williams. her birth was unplanned, however ; her mother only twenty and working towards med school. her father a halifax mooseheads player just having fun at her conception, now twenty-two and playing out his dreams in the nhl with the montreal canadians.

— things always work out in the end, though, and at twenty-two her father became her sole guardian and growing up quite a bit in the process, her mother vanishing from her life at that point and never re-entering.

— she was technically raised by a single father, but she was also perhaps raised by the veterans on the team and most importantly, the wives and girlfriends of her father’s teammates whose care she was left in the care of during games. it was them that taught her the things that her father couldn’t, and nia never wanted for her mother, that space happily and willingly filled by almost two dozen women who were older sisters, mothers, aunts... they were family.

— but even with all the make up and fashion advice, nia was very much her father’s daughter as well : crawling around the outdoors, going one-on-one on the ice, swimming in the ocean and still looking flawless while doing it. michael williams was a good father in the end, and grew into the role.

— she play hockey and soccer growing up, seeming to have a nose for offense, as elusive on skates as in cleats. nia could’ve been great at both sports, was great at both sports, but in the middle of high school she made the switch to focus on soccer full time. her passion for the ice remained, but the opportunities in soccer were stronger — and she loved the outdoors, loved the field in the early hours of morning.

— it was in the summer after grade 11 that she was offered a scholarship from whitby university to play women’s soccer ( amongst others ), but whitby fit the bill for what she wanted, and port briar reminded her a lot of home in cole harbour with the chilly sea. so after graduation, she was off to whitby to play soccer.

— on the college scene, it became obvious that nia simply put, was a star. a small but ever elusive forward who had speed that didn’t seem possible with her stature and an ability to score like no one else. the campus loved her, the team loved her, and opposing teams loved to hate her on the field. she was named mvp of the team as a freshman, a feat she would repeat her sophomore year as well. she’s currently gunning for her third.

MISC...

— architecture feels like an odd choice for those who don’t know nia well. she tends to come across as a little bit of an airhead, ditzy, not always the greatest with common sense. but she is actually quite book smart and sometimes, the ditziness is just a bit of an act. she had fostered a bit of FASCINATION with arenas having been in so many growing up, she began to harbor a desire to design one ( and to do it better ). sketching had been something that held her attention when she needed to be seated and still, and that fit in perfectly. after entering whitby undeclared, nia found herself drawn to the architecture department and program, officially declaring at the end of her freshman year.

— nia is hardly ever still : tapping fingers, jumping knees, sitting and then standing. she was diagnosed with adhd when she was seven. she is medicated for it now, but it also still manifests in attention deficient for her, leaving a wake of unfinished projects in her wake. sports had been one of the few things that held her attention, kept her occupied, and one of the few things she worked to hone her skills in.

— because of her tendency to jump from one thing to another, it’s no surprise she had a litany of hobbies that she’s tried : you name it, she’s likely tried it once. everything from yoga, to sewing, to painting, to rock climbing. in some ways it’s made her a bit of a jack of all trades, though she always comes back to soccer in the end. 

— however, one of thing did stick, kinda. in high school she took a woodworking class and from that spawned a hobby of furniture upcycling. her father had always been good with his hands and she knew her way around power tools, still does. she takes great pride in being able to fix things to be usable again, and loves to shop around the retro room or drive around port briar looking for things left at the curb. it can’t be a huge project though, like anything, if it’s not done in one go, chances are she may never return to finish the project. 

— she lives in an off-campus apartment this year after spending the first two in dorms. she’s looking forward to having her own space and kitchen ( even with roommates ).

— rigid schedules help her to keep organized when her natural tendency is to fall back into messiness and chaos. living with a neat roommate has helped her in some ways, because though messiness is her tendency, she finds that neatness helps her to keep focused and on track. being reminded to clean every week has been good for her.

— her favorite color is red and she has a penchant for red nails and red lipstick.

— her father is now an assistant hockey coach in the ncaa, but not at whitby. she sees him when that school in in town though she’s always rooting for whitby. her summers are spent back in cole harbour and she is still in touch with some of the wives and girlfriends who she’d been so close to.

— she’s an early bird, as odd as it is. she’s always loved sunrises over the atlantic ocean. you can find her either on the field or out for a run in the early hours, and then when the snow flies, likely doing yoga.

PERSONALITY...

— on the surface nia is very much a pretty girl. always looking flawless, a little ditzy, a little shallow. her smile is her weapon and she uses it to get people on her side. she likes people to like her, though one might hesitate to truly classify her as a nice girl or a mean girl. she ends up falling somewhere in the middle as most people do, never mean without cause but not friends with anyone. her enemies aren’t always obvious, something kept under wraps with petty glares and muttered comments. she doesn’t go looking for trouble, but if it crosses her path she meets it head on. her soccer star status has endeared her with some and made her just as many enemies, especially on their rival teams. she’s generally sweet to everyone she meets, but wrong her and she’ll be the first to be shit talking behind your back.

— men and women alike find her charming, something that suits her tastes. she’s been in a fair number of flings, though nothing that she ever saw as longterm. nia in general doesn’t look at the big picture, which has frustrated some who saw something more with her. but people still love her all the same. it’s a power she pretends to not know she has, but she’s more devious than her lipsticked smiles portray her to be.

— she has a thing for looks, rarely looking less than pristine herself, even in the middle of practice on a hot pre-season day. beauty, she’s been told, starts on the inside, and she does believe that, but helping along the outside never hurts either. she likes to feel good about herself, and comfort doesn’t always take precedence.

— nia always has a schedule, but at the same time, she’s almost always late. time management is a thing she’s still working on, and the only advice is to tell her anything is fifteen minutes earlier than it is.

— she’s a pretty girl, but has never felt like she had to stick to that box. instead, she has a way of just looking flawless no matter what that does. people judge her from her appearance and she knows that, but she also relishes in being able to prove people wrong. she knows her way around a math class and almost every power tool there is, she’s not afraid to get dirty --- just looking bad, so she’ll find a way to make mud look flawless. she’s obsessed with beauty, just not always the most conventional forms of it.

APPEARANCE...

— 5′0″, built lithe and fast.

— style : cute and cottagecore on the daily, but isn’t afraid to toe the line into edgy for nights out. a bit of “hardness” can make its way into her outfit in blacks and faux leathers matched with flowy silks and puff sleeves. she can make the switch from “good girl” to “bad girl” as quickly as she wants, depending on how she’s feeling that day.

— jewelry : an absolute sucker for jewelry. often is on esty too often despite her already extensive collection of bracelets, necklaces, and rings. her style is often dainty jewelry, though she doesn’t discriminate.

— tattoos : a small butterfly on the back of her left shoulder

— scars : several small nicks and almost invisible ones

OOC...

hiiii. it’s ollie again ✌️😎... and bc i normally play hockey bois... here’s my self-indulgent tie to hockey via nia whoops.

#briar.intro #( that pic of halle truly just... wow )

[moon-stars01]

Pregnant

Joshua x Reader

Author:YeontanIsMyPresident

Summary:Your boyfriend notices you’re pregnant before you.

Pairing:Joshua(Svt) x Reader

Gene:Fluff,Pregnancy,cute

Rating:General Audiences

Word Count:1360

-Pregnant-

It was a Saturday, a day off for the boys, when you woke up at nine in the morning. You were cuddled up next to Joshua in his bed at the dorms, staring at his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and at ease that you didn't want to wake him up, but your stomach had other ideas.Not even half an hour had passed when you started feeling nauseous You ran to the bathroom, emptying your stomach's contents. Joshua had heard you from the bed and sat up.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" he called out to you as he came to hold your hair out of the way. He rubbed your back as you continued to lean over the toilet.

Getting up and flushing the toilet you turned towards your concerned boyfriend, "Yeah I'm fine, just got sick a little is all. Don't worry." You grabbed the toothbrush you leave here for when you stay and start to brush your teeth. You could brush all of the sickness off, but Joshua on the other hand was getting increasingly worried. He wasn't afraid to voice it either, "Baby this is the third day in a row that you've thrown up." He followed you as you walked to the living room, seeing only Wonwoo and Dino up.

The smell of bacon cooking made you feel sick to the stomach and you tried to hold the feeling in. Yet your attempt at acting like everything was fine failed when once again you were rushing towards the bathroom. Joshua sighed as he went to make sure you were okay. He hated seeing you like this and he felt even worse because he didn't know what to do.

Dino saw Wonwoo in deep thought and questioned what he was thinking so hard about, "Why do you have that look on your face? What's running through your head?" He didn't receive an answer causing him to shrug and turn back to the stove. He had more important things to do than wait for Wonwoo to speak: Making sure the bacon didn't burn.

It was only five minutes later when Wonwoo finally voiced his thoughts, "What if she's pregnant?" The question made Dino wiped around to stare at his older friend in confusion. They didn't notice the older standing in the doorway and before Dino could ask Joshua beat him to it, "What do you mean by that?" Even though his voice was faint, it still had the power to startle his two members.

"Fuck Joshua-hyung you can't do that!" Dino yelled at him as he held his hand over his chest where his heart was, "I could've had a heart attack!"

Joshua didn't pay him any mind, all of his attention on Wonwoo and wanting to know what made his friend say that. Right as Wonwoo was going to answer, Seungcheol came running in, "Why is there smoke filling the whole dorms!?" It was then the three younger boys had taken notice of the smoke billowing throughout the kitchen and into other parts of the apartment. "And why the hell isn't the smoke alarm working!?"

Seungcheol pulled the smoke alarm off the wall and checked the back, only to see no batteries in it. As he opened some windows and turned the fan on he kept muttering something along the lines of 'fucking vernon always forgetting to change the batteries'. They all became so caught up in trying to get rid of the smoke that they forgot all about their previous conversation.

–0–0–0–0–

A week later and you were still getting sick. Joshua could only watch as you continued to throw up all of your dinner from the night before. A curious and concern glint could be seen in his eyes every time he watched you. Whenever he asked you to go to the doctor you would just reply with, 'It's just the flu. It'll go away soon.'

"Y/n please go to the doctor's. This has been going on for two weeks already!" Anyone could tell Joshua was getting worried about you by the way his voice betrayed his calm exterior.

You sat down on his bed and just rolled your eyes, "I already told you Joshua it's just the flu! It's going to go away soon!" For some reason you were starting to get all emotional. Frustration and sadness creeping up on you. For what reason you had no clue. Joshua, on the other hand, had a good idea as to why. He was getting so frustrated that you weren't even caring that he just blurted out, "Are you pregnant?"

"What?" you gave him a blank face and your voice was monotone as you spoke. He realized what he said and looked at you hesitantly. Seeing his mouth open as to speak, you beat him to it, "Did you just ask me if I'm pregnant?"

"Think about it baby. You're always getting sick in the morning, you're almost always hungry and craving weird things. Like who actually enjoys hot cheetos dipped in some strawberry yogurt?" he started to go off and rant, his voice picking up speed as well as going up an octave. You could tell he was getting anxious and nervous about how you would react, but you couldn't help but to question it. Were you pregnant?

As he was still going off on how you were still beautiful even if you were starting to eat a lot, you got up and walked out of his room. He stopped short and just stared at where you once sat. Quickly coming to the realization that you weren't in the room anymore, he ran out to see you putting your shoes on.

The rest of the boys watched on as Joshua grabbed your wrist lightly, "Where are you going?" You gently tugged your wrist out of his grasp, opening the front door, "I just need some time to think."

Joshua could only watch as you walked away from him, his heart dropping as he thought of everything he had said. Why did he have to blurt out that idea? Why couldn't he have kept his thoughts to himself? He grabbed at his hair and sank to his knees, not noticing his friend come over to him.

Seokmin pulled Joshua up and brought him over to the couch, "Are you okay Joshua-ah?" All Joshua could do was stare at the wall opposite of him making the rest of his band members stare at him with sympathy in their gaze.

–0–0–0–0–

You couldn't believe you were actually doing this. The pregnancy test in your hand shook as your nerves started. Doing as the instructions told you, you waited five minutes and they felt like hours. When your timer went off you jumped, too lost in your thoughts on what would happen if it were positive. Oh god would Joshua leave you? Would he want you to have an abortion? Would you get an abortion just to stay with him? The answer was clear to you as you unconsciously held a hand on your abdomen. No matter what the outcome was, you were keeping the little angel that was growing inside of you.

Shakily picking up the test you clasped a hand over your mouth as tears streamed down your face. It was positive. Grabbing your phone you clicked on Joshua's contact and tried to hold in your sobs. When he answered the call you couldn't hold in the wails coming out of you.

"Y/n!? Are you okay!? What's wrong!?" his voice was frantic as he heard your crying on the other end of the phone. It took you a little while to calm down enough to talk, "Can you please come here? We need to talk." Getting an 'okay' from him, you hung up and continued to cry as you pulled your knees to your chest.

Joshua's heart was racing as he ran all the way to your place. Were you breaking up with him? Were you okay? All of these thoughts were still rushing around his head when he showed up at your door. He used the spare key you gave him and walked in, hearing your cries from the bathroom. He knocked on the door softly, "Y/n? Baby, can I come in?" A small and faint reply came from the other side of the door.

He pushed the door open slowly and saw you sat on the floor against the wall. He crouched in front of you and wiped your tears gently off with the ends of his hoodie.

"Please don't leave me," your voice was quiet and shaking with nerves.

He shook his head and pulled you into his warm embrace, "Never."

You pulled your head away from his chest and looked at the door behind him, "Joshua..I'm pregnant." You could hear as well as feel his breath hitch. You couldn't bear to see the judgement in his gaze, so you kept your eyes away from his.

"Hey, look at me baby girl," his fingers held your chin delicately, turning your head towards him, his eyes calm and loving, "I'd never leave you, especially not over this. We may be young, but I'm certain I want a family with you. You're the one I want to marry in the future." He saw your eyes swell up with even more tears, this time happy, and gave you a feather like kiss on your lips. Gaze falling onto your non existent bump he put a hand over it, "And this little bean in here is ours. Made from our love. I wouldn't want to have this child with anyone else."

You looked at him with so much love in your eyes that it made his heart beat faster, "I love you so much Joshi."

Happy tears filled his eyes as he gave you a passionate kiss,

"I love you too Y/n."

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #stories #kpop #svt joshua #joshua #joshua x reader #joshua scenarios #Joshua x you #hong jisoo #hong jisoo x reader #joshua drabble #joshua seventeen #joshua fluff

[stemgaysupreme]

On Carrying Capacity - A Critical Role Math Problem

I’ve been getting kind of annoyed (read: extremely anxious about the m9′s survival) every time Matt doesn’t let a polymorphed giant eagle or giant owl carry three party members (one of which is Veth) without their speed being halved, so I wanted to do some digging on the rules for carrying capacity and see if Veth’s weight was actually pushing the party over the max the creature could carry at full speed. After I did all of this I really felt the need to share it so... Here you go...?

I’ll go into specifics of things under the cut but for those who just want to know the answer, technically a giant eagle’s max carrying capacity is 480lbs and a giant owl’s is 390 lbs. Based on some math and some guessing of some character weights, the party, excluding the polymorphed Caleb and Jester, can be split with Yasha and Fjord on one bird and Caduceus, Beau, and Veth on the other and have their total weights be 386lbs and 380lbs respectively. 

Even if they were playing with the variant encumbrance rules (explained under the cut) their speeds would only drop by 20 feet rather that be halved, so the eagle would still be going 60 feet/round and the owl would be going 40 feet/round rather than 40 and 30. Heck, if they’re eagles, as long as Veth is on the bird with three people, they would both be able to do 60 feet/round. But I SERIOUSLY doubt they’re using encumbrance because, if they were, heavily encumbered creatures (like the birds would likely be when Matt halves their speed) would have disadvantage on all Dex, Str, and Con ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws. So, really, if they aren’t playing with encumbrance, either they should be half speed when only carrying two people, or they should still be at full speed when carrying three people.

TL;DR: Matt, please, either let them fly faster, or tell me what the rules you’re using are.

I broke this up into sections so that if you already know the rules of carrying weight, or don’t care how I got character weights, you don’t have to read that bit.

Carrying Weight Rules

Ok, so, first things first, how much are these birds supposed to be able to carry? Well, the player’s handbook says a medium creature’s max carrying weight is 15 times their strength score, and twice that amount for a large creature (which is what the birds are) so we get

Giant Eagle (STR: 16) : 16 x 15 x 2 = 480lbs

Giant Owl (STR: 13) :  13 x 15 x 2 = 390lbs

If they are using the encumbrance variant rule, they either become “heavily encumbered” at 10 times their strength score, or 20 times, depending on whether you interpret the rules to say that this value is doubled for large creatures or not. This doesn’t really matter for us because, either way, even just two party members usually means they would be considered heavily encumbered, meaning their speed would decrease by 20 feet, and they  would have disadvantage on all Dex, Str, and Con ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws. 

Important to note: I couldn’t find any rule that had a creature’s speed cut in half due to carrying weight, but if someone knows of one, let me know, as if it exists, it’s likely what Matt is using, though I suspect he is just making it up (WHICH IS 1000000% VALID)

Character Weights

Some character weights were much easier to find than others, and honestly, all but one is an estimation, but in general, I followed the same process. 

1. How tall are they? - While some characters have their exact heights, others are guesses, and a few are basically me saying “I swear I remember so-and-so saying they were this tall in-game”

The exact heights (from Crit Role Stats) are: 

- Yasha at 5′11″

- Veth at 3′6″

The “I swear  I remember so-and-so saying they were this tall in-game” ones are:

- Caduceus at 7′0″ (the fandom wiki backs me up on this one)

- Beau at 5′5″ (It’s either this or 5′4″ I think, but I went with this)

The only true guess:

- Fjord at 6′0″ (Fjord thinks he’s not very big but Ashley insisted on Talks once that Yasha was shorter than Fjord so this is the best compromise I had)

I didn’t bother with doing Caleb or Jester because, well, they’re the owls usually.

Shoutout to Crit Role Stats for existing and having like, half the character’s heights. If a height or weight seems off, I’m sorry, I did what I could to get a good guess. If there is a CONFIRMED height/weight that I don’t have here, let me know! But if you think Jester is an inch taller or shorter than what I have, I don’t know what to tell you other than “sorry???”

2. What is their race’s average weight for their height? - This is the most math intensive part of all this, but it’s not too bad. Each race has a base height, base weight, height modifier, and weight modifier. The base height and weight are just numbers, so for humans their base height is 4′8″ and their base weight is 110lbs. The modifiers are determined by rolling dice associated with the race, so for humans their height modifier is 2d10 and their weight modifier is 2d4. Your final height would be the base height plus the number you rolled for your height modifier in inches. Then, your final weight would be the base weight plus your height modifier times your weight modifier. By knowing the base heights of each character’s race, and having their height, we can find their height modifier, and use that to determine their maximum and minimum weights, and use those to get their average weight. This is a lot of information, so I made a chart for it

A note on Halflings: Turns out, Halflings are one of the races (others being Gnomes, Goblins, and Kobolds) that don’t multiply their height modifier by anything when applying it to their weight.

3. Adjusting for body type - Based on what we know about these characters, some of the average weights just don’t feel right, so I ended up changing some of them.

- Veth: I left hers as is because Halflings always have a weight modifier of one.

- Yasha: I left hers alone as well because it feels pretty good for a buff barbarian. She’s all muscle.

- Beau: I took her weight down because, as a 5′5″/5′6″ ish woman, I really don’t think someone built for speed and agility is going to be 155 pounds. I guessed roughly 130lbs, though it could be closer to 140lbs, I have never been the owner of a six pack, so I don’t entirely know how much weight that much muscle adds.

- Caduceus: Once again I’m going to mention that the fandom wiki backs me up here by saying that Caduceus is “not necessarily healthily thin” so I took him down to 210lbs. I probably could’ve gone down even a bit more but opted to play it safe to balance out any issues with Beau’s weight.

- Fjord: He’s a notoriously small dude, no way he’s 238 pounds, and given how large his possible weight range is, and his less than impressive strength score, I bumped him down to 195 which seems fair for a guy that’s 6 feet tall, but when you compare it to Yasha, either hers is too high, or his is, but since all of my adjustments are decreases from the average, I’m hesitant to lower either any more.

4. Final Weights - After all that,  we’ve got the party sitting at the following weight approximations:

Yasha - 185lbs

Beau - 130lbs

Caduceus - 210lbs

Fjord - 195lbs

Veth - 46lbs

Putting It All Together

As it turns out, based on these weights, Fjord and Yasha combine to be just six pounds lighter than Veth, Cad, and Beau combined at 380lbs versus 386lbs. In fact, this combination is the only way both groups stay under the girant owl’s maximum carrying capacity of 390lbs. So effectively what this means is if Caduceus has ever been on a giant owl with Fjord or Yasha, the owl shouldn’t have been able to move. That is important. Because if Caduceus has ever been on an owl with Fjord or Yasha, it means that the determining factor of whether or not a giant bird can fly is not the total weight it is carrying, rather it is the number of people it is carrying.

Personally, the best part of this whole thing is knowing that they combination they used at the start of c2e124 was one of only a few that wouldn’t allow both eagles to move at full speed. 

Also, when it comes to encumbrance rules, all of the combinations still only reduce speed by 20 feet per round, so even with those rules they would be going faster than Matt is allowing. 

And One More Thing

I did this because I found it interesting, not because the way Matt is doing things is “wrong” or something. He gets to decide. End of story. But in the case that Matt doesn’t know (lol Matt Mercer not knowing every DnD rule ever? wild) what the rules “technically” are, then I’d love it if he found out and changed how he ran things. 

Basically I’m saying don’t start fandom discourse with my fun DnD math problem. I did it for me and anyone else that cares, and Matt can do what he wants. For all I know I’ve gotten a character weight wrong and it completely ruins the entire thing.

#critical role #critrole #critical role campagin 2 #critical role theory #critical role spoilers #matt mercer #dnd #lots of math #i did this instead of homework

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #137: Chloe von Einzbern

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making yet another servant with absolutely no other media beyond Fate Grand Order, Chloe von Einzbern! Basically, small, vampiric Emiya. 

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Another 13-year-old anime character in a bikini. Joy.

Race and Background

Like your sister you’re a homunculus... kinda? Anyway, that means we’re going Custom Origin from Tasha’s giving you +2 Dexterity, a Small build, History proficiency to keep track of those cards, and the Piercer feat. That bumps your dexterity up by another point, you can re-roll a die of piercing damage each turn, and critical hits deal an extra die of damage if you’re using a piercing weapon. Knives pierce, use those.

Since you were your sister (or rather you two were the same person who wasn’t entirely one or the other previously... plurality is weird.) for most of your life, that means you’re also an Inheritor. Survival is the default proficiency, but since you took most of the magic when you left you also get Arcana proficiency.

Ability Scores

In case you couldn’t tell from your racial bonuses, you’re pretty good at Dexterity. You’re fast, and you’re good with knives. After that is Charisma, to help you tease Illya a bit. Also, you’re a kid, kids are cute. Your Wisdom comes next, you can’t tease people if you don’t notice stuff to tease them on. After that is Constitution, you’re the more physical fighter of the family. Your Intelligence isn’t great since you’re a kid, and even though it’s one of our casting modifiers that doesn’t mean we actually need it. Finally, dump Strength. You are child, you have noodle arms.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: You specialize with daggers, but we need to be good with every kind of projection you can make, that means we’re a fighter first and foremost. As a fighter, you learn the Thrown Weapon fighting style, letting you toss more daggers in a turn and also deal +2 damage with thrown weapon attacks.

You can also use your bonus action to use your Second Wind to heal yourself. Not super fancy, but not dying’s always nice.

2. Monk 1: First level monks get Unarmored Defense, because... yeah, that doesn’t qualify. This means your AC is now 10 + your dexterity modifier + your wisdom modifier while not stuck in armor. Plate mail isn’t really your thing.

You also learn Martial Arts, giving your monk attacks a base damage of 1d4. You can also use dexterity instead of strength when attacking, in case you find yourself using something larger than a knife. Finally, you can use your bonus action to make an unarmed attack if you make a monk attack with your action. You’re already probably using your bonus action for knife attacks, but switching things up is a good strategy. 

3. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge once per short rest, letting you slap an extra action onto a turn. It’s kind of like an extra attack, but not!

4. Fighter 3: Third level fighters get their martial archetype, and if you want to summon weapons there’s no better way to do it than the Eldritch Knight. Thanks to their Weapon Bond (a ritual performed over a short rest) they can summon one of two bonded weapons to their hand as a bonus action, and you can’t be disarmed unless you’re incapacitated. You also learn some Spells, but since they use your intelligence we’ll have to hold off on the big guns for now.

Grab Blade Ward and Shield for some protective weapon summoning, Mage Hand for finer weapon control at a distance, False Life for a tiny bit of vampirism, and Magic Missile for some super accurate dagger tossing.

Also worth noting that your Weapon Bond only lets you project the same two weapons over and over again, but I mean... you already do that.

5. Fighter 4: For your first Ability Score Improvement, bump up your Wisdom for some more AC. Can’t have enough of that stuff.

You also learn the Alarm spell, because it’s one of the few that barely even feels like a spell. Just flavor it as like, a regular alarm system. Bam, done.

6. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, for more smack when you attack.

7. Fighter 6: You’re cursed to share Illya’s pain, so it makes sense that you should also get Illya’s Tough feat for some extra HP. Probably.

8. Monk 2: Back in monk now, second level monks can use their Ki to dash, disengage, dodge, or attack twice with their bonus action. You have a number of ki points equal to your monk level, and they recharge on short rests.

You also get Unarmored Movement, making yourself a bit more agile as long as you aren’t stuck in some leather.

9. Monk 3: You like stabbing. Kensei monks also like stabbing. It’s a match made in heaven! As a kensei monk you gain Kensei Weapons, two types of weapon (one melee, one ranged) that will be used for other features. I’d highly suggest daggers as your melee, the rest can be whatever you’d like to project later. You can use kensei weapons to make an Agile Parry, adding 2 to your AC when you make an unarmed strike as part of your attack action if you’re holding onto it. You can also make a Kensei’s Shot with your ranged weapons as a bonus action, adding 1d4 damage to the attack. Throwing a knife counts as a ranged attack, so slap as much damage onto it as possible.

You also learn the Way of the Brush, obtaining the power of the gods, Painter’s Supplies proficiency.

Also also, you can Deflect Missiles as a reaction, reducing incoming missile damage, and possibly yeeting it back by spending a ki point if you reduce the damage to 0.

10. Monk 4: Fourth level monks can Slow Fall as a reaction to reduce falling damage. I mean, if you project enough knives downward, it’ll eventually break your fall! Wait...

You also bump up your Charisma with this level’s ASI. It’ll make more sense in a bit.

11. Monk 5: Your extra attack isn’t usable here, but you do get a Stunning Strike, forcing a constitution save when you smack someone by spending a ki point. If they fail (its DC is 8+ your proficiency + your wisdom modifier btw) they’re stunned until the start of your next turn.

Finally, you can burn ki even faster thanks to your Focused Aim, spending 1-3 ki points to add 2 per point to an attack roll for extra accuracy.

12. Monk 6: Ki-Empowered Strikes and Magic Kensei Weapons mean all your monk attacks are magical to avoid resistances. You can also spend ki to make Deft Strikes, adding a martial arts die in damage to a kensei weapon attack once per turn.

13. Warlock 1: Yeah, sorry, this is another 3-class build. We need vampirism, what can I say?

We’ve called the grail a Great Old One before, and I think that can work here too. As part of your pact you learn Pact Magic, spells that you can cast using Charisma and that recharge on short rests.

Your Awakened Mind lets you speak telepathically to creatures within 30′ of you, even if you don’t share a language. I mean you probably have some kind of twin bond with Illya, right? We’re mostly here for the later levels anyway.

For spells: Sword Burst and Eldritch Blast let you summon more flying knives without having to worry about actually making them. You also get Expeditious Retreat for even more speed, and Charm Person to lay on the smarm.

14. Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, ways to spice up your warlock life. Grab Agonizing Blast for deadlier knives, and Beguiling Influence to beef up your Deception and Persuasion checks for deadlier puppy-dog eyes.

Yeah, we’re not getting improved pact weapon for once. Are we running a fever?

You can also cast Comprehend Languages now to translate your anime. Just make sure to get subs too!

15. Warlock 3: Thanks to the Pact of the Blade, you can now project any weapon you want into existence as an action. The weapon counts as magical, and you always have proficiency with it.

You can also cast Cloud of Daggers to make a cloud... of daggers! They take up a 5 foot cube, and deals damage to creatures who walk into the area or start their turn in it.

16. Warlock 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for stronger and more accurate spells.

Speaking of being more accurate, the cantrip True Strike lets you get advantage on an attack next turn, but it’s a lot easier just to attack twice. You can also use Misty Step to speed up past the point the eye can see.

17. Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get third level spells, meaning we can finally get our hands on Vampiric Touch for an energy draining kiss. You can make a touch attack each turn for up to a minute, dealing necrotic damage and healing half that amount each time you hit.

You also learn the invocation Eldritch Spear to up the range on your magical dagger throws. Just because they’re 100 feet away is no excuse to not attack them.

18. Warlock 6: Our last goolock goodie is the Entropic Ward. Once per short rest you can impose disadvantage on an incoming attack. If that attack misses, you get advantage on one attack against them. Evasion and a critical rate up, that’s dangerously close to an actual skill!

You also learn Counterspell this level. Rule Breaker is a weapon, so you should be able to project it well enough.

19. Monk 7: Finally bouncing back to monk after our long time away for Evasion. Half damage from failed dexterity saves, no damage from successes, you probably know the drill by now. You also get Stillness of Mind, letting you end charms and frigtens as an action.

20. Monk 8: Our capstone level gives us one last ASI, so max out that Dexterity. More AC, more damage, what’s not to love?

Pros:

Thanks to your various damage bonuses, you’ve got some deadly daggers on hand that can deal very consistent damage. You can deal 2d6+1d4+7 piercing damage on a single dagger with few resources spent, meaning you can keep that damage going for the long haul.

Speaking of dragging out a fight, you’re hard to hit thanks to a base AC of 17, the ability to boos that with Agile Parries and Shield to a maximum of 30, and disadvantage thanks to entropic ward. Getting hit: not even once.

Throwing daggers around gives you range, and your 45 feet of movement and teleportation gives you the mobility to abuse that. You’re even harder to hit when you’re constantly out of the enemy’s range.

Cons:

Even if options for making more, throwing weapons are still a pain to use, and require a bonus action or full action to recreate. On top of that, your spell slots and ki points are also pretty limited, reducing your effectiveness in long battles somewhat. Efficiency only goes so far.

Your bonus action is pretty crowded, thanks to regular monk stuff, healing, weapon bonds, and so on. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean you’ll have to prioritize. 

Your Low Strength means that the occasional enemy that gets too close can knock you around. Just hope Illya’s around to distract them while you get back up.

#fate grand order #FGO #D&D 5e #Chloe von Einzbern #Fate and Phantasms #Fighter #Monk #Warlock

[dnarez]

Chapter 11 - Sports Festival Part 1

In order to participate, everybody put in their individual efforts to train.

The two weeks flew by in the blink of an eye.

"TODAY IS THE DAY OF THE GRAND EVENT!"

Both Hitoshi and y/n looked at the weird girl in their class that was jumping around and yelling in the waiting room.

"Everyone is so nervous..." y/n looked around to see their classmates, they all wanted to win.

-

"So... can you tell me why, now that we are about to go beat some ass?" Hitoshi gas sitting on the floor with his back to the wall

"Why what?" She tilted her head looking at him again, she also was sitting on the floor besides him.

"Why did you hide your wings those last weeks? And why do you still hide it? Didn't you said that the principal forbid you from doing this?" His hands on his pockets, they were talking low in comparison to the rest of the class.

"Actually the Support team made me this cool gadgets, so I could participate without my parents recognizing me! So they are healthily tucked in!"

"But how are you going to compete?" He was obviously worried about her not being able to get in.

She giggled "Heroes can do more than one trick!" She smiled brightly and got up "everyone is getting out! Let's go!" She ran to the door and waited for him "come on! We got a festival to win!" She jumped and fist bumped the air.

He chuckled and got up walking next to her "yeah..."

They were getting out of the tunnel she could hear Mic screaming out loud.

"THE U.A. SPORTS FESTIVAL!! WHERE THE HERO WORLD'S INCHOATE LITTLE EGGS AND AIM FOR EACH OTHER'S THROATS--- AND THE TOP! OUR GRAND YEARLY MELEE!! AND LET ME GUESS ALL YOU MISCREANTS CAME TO SEE THEM RIGHT??"

The stadium was packed with people and everyone was excited to see what's gonna happen this year.

"THE FRESHLY FORMED MIRACLE STARS THAT SHRUGGED OFF A MASS VILLAIN ASSAULT WITH WILLS OF STEEL! THE DEPARTMENT OF HEROICS FRESHMAN CLASS!!!"

Class 1-A were the first to come out from the tunnel.

"YOU'RE HERE FOR CLASS 1-A, RIGHT!!?"

The other classes came right behind them.

"AND FOLLOWING CLASS B, HERE COME CLASSES C, D, AND E FROM THE DEPT. OF GENERAL EDUCATION...!!"

They all walked out of the tunnel.

"AND NOW HERE ARE CLASSES F, G AND H OF THE DEPARTMENT OF SUPPORT! NOW FOR THE APARTMENT OF MANAGEMENT'S..."

People from y/n class started to talk quite loudly.

"Man, they're treating us like we're just their foils or something." Said the rich boy.

"What a loud..." the class beauty answered.

But she was interrupted by a loud snap of a wip, held by no one other than the beautiful R-rated hero Midnight.

"NOW NOW, FAIR PLAY!"

The students started to chitchat getting distracted by the R-rated heroine.

"SILENCE!" she wiped her wip again. "MY TENURE HERE IS PERFECTLY ON THE LEVEL!! NOW PLAYER REP!!"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI OF 1-A!!"

Hitoshi didn't even bat an eye to the ash blond porcupine and Y/n giggled "This gonna be fun!" Hitoshi was behind Y/n and heard her clearly, he looked at her confused for her sudden interest in the angry porcupine.

"Yeah, the heroic exam." Said the beauty again.

Bakugou got to the podium next to the heroine and started.

"Sensei. I'm gonna place first" he said that very calm

Y/n giggled as she heard everyone going berserk booing him.

"AH MAN, I KNEW HE WAS GONNA...!!" Y/n stopped her giggles and looked at the class 1-a and spotted her friends panicking, she got back to giggling and keep looking around until her e/c meet, gray and blue eyes, it was the gorgeous boy from the other day.

Y/n blushed hard but gave him an embarrassed smile and waved at him, he lightly tilted his head but gave her the cold shoulder and got back to looking forward.

"You'll all make fantastic stepping stones. I'm sure."

Her attention was back to the ash blond hedgehog, she thought his angry face and his attitude were hilarious.

He calmly walked back to his place as everyone shouted at him.

Everyone's attention got back to Midnight as she started to explain.

"All right, with that we can move directly onto our first event!"

An gigantic screen appeared as Midnight was talking.

"Onto the "preliminaries," as they're called! Lots of the folk end up choking on their tears here every year!!"

In the screen some names were shuffled.

"And this year's first round of destiny is... THIS!!!"

The screen showed in big words "Obstacle race"

"Hey toshi... be sure to keep yourself from 40th up, I have a bad feeling about this..." she looked back at him worried

He chuckled and petted her head "you too, don't stay too close or I'm gonna get distracted"

She nodded "See you in the finish line!"

They went their separated ways to the start line, she decided to stay in the middle.

'Big bro... let me be your shadow!' She smiled determined to win.

3 . . . . .

2 . . . . . .

1 . . . . .

"STAAAAAAAAAAAART!!"

Y/n didn't even start to try passing through the others when she saw the ice coming from the half n half boy that was in the front she jumped on someone's shoulder evading the ice that now covered the floor and got some people stuck.

'This is... the first filter!' She keeps stepping on people's shoulders and heads. "Sorry!" She got out off the confusion and started ice skating right behind the gorgeous boy.

"WHAAAAAT SOMEONE THAT ISN'T FROM THE HERO COURSE IS ALREADY OUT OF THE ICE TRAP AND IS ACTUALLY USING IT TO THEIR ADVANTAGE!!!"

'Mic I really liked you before this'

"STOP DRAWING ATTENTION TO ME!" She screamed while keeping a good distance from the boy just to be sure that it was safe.

BOOM!

A gigantic explosion came from behind, she didn't look back, but she could still hear the voices complaining about the pretty boy.

The h/c haired girl started going slower to keep her  energy for later, making others being able to surpass her she saw the exact moment that the boy with grapes on his head was punched by a gigantic robot in front of her.

'I remember when Toshi, Kiri and Toko told me about them... they really are gigantic....' she gulped but didn't stop running, everything in her body was telling her to run but... 'I have to do it! For big brother... I can do it!'

Two long feathers came to her s/c hands and turned into a sharp katana like sword, the feather was black in the base and golden by the tip.

In the front a few people were closer to the robots when you heard Mic's voice.

"HERE COME TGE OBSTACLES, AND SO SUDDENLY!! AND FROM THE VERY OUTSET, TGE FIRST BARRIER WILL BE A ROBOT INFERNO!!"

'THEY ARE SO HUGE!' She was so fucking frightened, but stood a brave face, she knew he would watch it later.

The e/c eyed girl saw everyone stop before arriving at the front of the 0 pointers, but she didn't, her feet got speed, and she used the pretty boy as leverage to jump with both sword one in each hand.

Her foot stepped on his shoulders, she used so much force to jump that he got launched back, while she cut her way through the chest of the zero pointer.

She fell on the ground kinda clumsy but didn't fell so it was still a win, not even looking back she got back to running at good pace.

The pretty boy had fallen on his butt, but recovered fast letting the robots fall in the others way, he for back to running determined to get the first place back.

After running a little he could catch up to her surprisingly easy.

With a sword in each hand she looked at him and smiled "Hi again!"

"You aren't gonna win this, I'm going to win no matter what" he didn't spare her a single glance.

"Okay but... why are you so sad?"

He tripped on nothing but recovered quickly "what are you talking about?" He looked at her curiously.

"I never saw someone be so sad and so angry at the same time... you can surpass me if you want, I don't want the first place I just want to pass to the next trial"

He looked surprised at her. "Why?"

"I don't really care for the first place... but you do so go on! I will encounter you at the finish line!" She got behind him and gave him a little push.

That was enough to get his head in the track, and he run for it while she happily stood back.

. . . . . . . . . . . ........................................................

1487 words

Love y all.❤

#shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #x reader #bnha hawks #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha #mha x y/n #mha x you #mha x reader #mha #reader #shinso hitoshi #hitoshi #xreader

[katelynn-a-fan]

Why We Do What We Do (3)

First | Previous | Next

Five hours earlier

“Here we are!” Patton piped up as Logan, Roman, Virgil and Patton arrived at the location of their FamILY dinner, as Patton called it.

This is the 3rd time we’ve been to an Italian restaurant this month and we’re not even 3 weeks into the year. Honestly the only thing that we agree on with this place is their pasta. But as long as we’re here, the pasta is going to be delicious! The boys love their pasta.

Patton rolled his eyes as they entered into the restaurant’s immaculate foyer, passing the line of people going out the door. 

“Wow! It’s really busy tonight! Wonder what so special about today!” exclaimed Roman, who surged up to where the hosts were waiting, getting a few side-eyes from the line they had just passed. Patton just gave them a subtly, almost cheeky smile, as if he didn’t understand why they were looking at him.. 

Luckily for the little group, they had made a reservation early enough to be seated within minutes whereas there was a line out the door for the unfortunate majority that did know about the online reservation system the restaurant had. But then again, coming to this restaurant in particular at least once every 2 weeks since they were kids, if not more often, would get you swiftly accustomed to their way of doing things. 

Their host’s eyes lit up as they had approached to confirm their reservation and Patton swore that she had done something to bump them up because with how quickly they had been seated and where they were seated, it should’ve been a quarter hour. 

“I’ve wondered when you boys would be coming back next, anything new to speak about?” their host, Kiki bubbled as they neared her podium.

“Nothing more notable than last time Kiki.” Virgil snarked playfully, but as he said it, a blush creeped up on his cheeks. Roman’s face also turned a similar shade of red at Virgil’s words.

“Oh, don’t get me started about last time! When you told me you and Roman had finally planned to go out as a couple, I was over the moon! I don’t know how you two were so clueless about each other’s feelings when you have spent every day since you both started high school together.” Kiki snarked back as she automatically grabbed the menus and steered them to what they had claimed as ‘their’ booth, a semi circular booth, the kind that made it impossible to get out of if you were in the middle.

The Death Trap. They had come to call it that after many friendly squabbles and refusals of whoever was on outside to relent to move out the way of another person. Patton himself didn’t remember who first coined the moniker, either Virgil or Roman, but had stuck and Patton couldn’t think of anything more fitting to call it.

“We don’t know either.” Logan replied as Patton felt Logan instinctively grab Patton’s arm, which Patton responded to by intertwining their arms together instead, earning a gentle, playful glare from Logan as they walked along. Patton felt Logan rub a finger over Patton left ring finger where their wedding band resided.

“Damn right! ...Wait, Don’t you have midnight lab today, Logan?” Kiki enquired as she instinctively weaved through the tables and servers, but her head turned looking at Logan. Impressive.

“Yes, but you know I can’t possibly pass up our bi-monthy escapade to our most delectable choice of cuisine when there is no reason to refuse as is a tradition not easily thwarted.” Logan articulated as Patton felt him subtly squeeze his hand, which then earned Logan a glare of his own from Patton. 

You lovable nerd.

“Nerd.” Patton mumbled loud enough for Logan to hear, but both Logan’s response and their impromptu glaring game came to an end as they finally reached their destination at The Death Trap.

“Well then, I must spread the message that our 4 favorite boys are here and to give them the best service they can.” Kiki affirmed with a wink as she placed the menus on the table and then walked briskly out of sight.

Everyone was seated in The Death Trap with Logan and Patton to the left, Roman and Virgil to the right. Logan and Roman being on outside.

All of them got their usual, which their server didn’t even have to ask each of them in turn, just uttering a short ”Y’alls usuals?” And when they answered in the affirmative, the server quickly picked up the menus that were still in the same pile that Kiki had brought them in, which made Patton wonder why Kiki bothered with giving them the menus every time they came in. They knew the menus forwards and backwards.

After they were seated with drinks, the meal became a blur. Appetizers, then main meal and then the check was suddenly on the table

 They were discussing the semantics of when jello became a solid, with Logan arguing the scientific side when the jello was uniformly under 0 degrees Celsius as a large component of jello was water (Logan had a large distaste for America’s measurement systems and refused to use Fahrenheit). Roman argued that it was only when it was at a certain consistency, which he could not define, but insisted on challenging Logan’s assertion with his own nonetheless. 

Patton was never one to argue like this, but he enjoyed seeing Roman and Logan’s mental sparing. It was an interesting, no, entertaining thing to watch. Like a metaphorical gladiator battle, only Logan was almost always the winner and there was no blood to be shed. ‘Almost always’ being something Logan would deny to this day, but a little after all 4 of them had met as a group of friends, they had gotten into a debate about the size of the universe. 

Roman, as stubborn as ever, had brought up that the universe was around 100 billion light years in diameter, smug that he knew a scientific fact that would make him right. Logan quickly shot back that it was only the observable universe that was referring to and that the complete universe was much bigger. Roman retorted something along the lines that there was no way to measure how big the universe really was, so by default, Roman was right.

“No! The physical limit of the speed of light and the fact that you know the limit of the observable universe does not change the fact that the universe is no doubt infinitesimally big, unlike your brain!” Logan had huffed in frustration. 

“Hey, that was uncalled for!” Roman had exclaimed before they both went silent glaring at each other in what Patton had learned was not malice, but a mutual respect of each other’s debating ability. Virgil had not yet figured that out so he was bug-eyed and trembling slightly at their increasing intensity.

Patton had let the silence permeate for a moment or two before he piped up with a “Wait, doesn’t infinitesimal mean really, really small, not really, really big?” along with his signature head tilt he used for when he didn’t understand.

Logan had paused in what he going to say as Patton interjected and then started again, “No, Patton, I know my wo-”, before he froze with a look of realization that turned him beet red, which Patton realized later he had found really cute (Flustered Logan was best Logan in Patton’s opinion). Logan had run off to escape embarrassment while Roman bragged to Patton and Virgil that the infallible Logan had lost to the magnanimous Roman, who was giving him mercy by not pursuing him after Roman’s victory.

Just Logan being Logan and Roman being Roman.

However, Patton was pulled from his reminiscing by Virgil chiming in with a third opinion, that jello was both and neither, it was like a cat. It could conform to any container it was placed in, but was a solid that didn’t run when it was freestanding.

Patton reeled back out of surprise from whatever position he had been while he had been spacing out and turned to his left to stare at Virgil.

In all his years, there had never been a third contender in the ring of debate, this was new and exciting territory. Patton waited almost pensively for the other’s responses.

“But it does that when it’s liquid! If you take the jello out it stays in the same shape, and plus something can’t be both phases!” Roman retorted without hesitation.

“Concur with both of you, I still believe it only becomes a solid once the optimum temperature is reached, but when it is in the process of cooling down, I would agree with Virgil.” Logan proposed with expression of surprise probably similar to Patton’s.

“But that doesn’t make sense, neither of you are right! Jello is solid when you can stick your finger in and your finger doesn’t come back covered in liquid jello, that’s a foolproof theory!” Roman interjected, which cause Logan to raise his eyebrows.

“No it’s like a cat!” Virgil restated with a fire Patton had never seen in his eyes.

Oh, that’s new.

“No it’s not, cat is a living thing and jello is a food! Why have you chosen now to  start debating with us? I would’ve understood joining us earlier, but Logan and I have been doing this for years ever since we’ve met. Why don’t you leave the debating to the professionals?” Roman snickered as he seemed to turn himself full force against Virgil.

Virgil’s froze for a second before his eyes bugged out, reminding Patton of that infamous argument Logan and Roman had.

“What?” Virgil growled, causing Patton’s heart to seize, this... this was something different. This argument was turning into something dangerous.

“What? I’m just saying that we’ve been doing this a whole lot longer than you have so you’re not going to win the first round on your first time out.” Roman declared with pride.

Abort! Abort! Abort!

Logan tried to say something, to defuse the rapidly escalating argument, but was interrupted by Virgil.

“Well I’ve been listening you two bicker for years, you think I’m dull enough to not pick something up from your silly show?!” Virgil scowled as Patton saw his hands morph into fists.

Patton gently grasped Virgil’s arm in an attempt to calm him down, but Virgil brushed him off with glare as he waited for Roman’s response with a  much harsher glare that Roman didn't seem to register at all.

Roman seemed unperturbed as he responded with “Our debates aren’t silly! What would make you say that?” and a sly smile.

That was apparently the wrong thing to say and do, as Virgil exploded past Roman and all but ran out of the restaurant, causing Roman to curse as Virgil squeezed past him uncomfortably. Roman shot a glance of confusion at Logan and Patton as he quickly followed after his boyfriend, careful not to make a scene of himself. 

Patton gestured for Logan to exit as well, but Logan shook his head. “Someone needs to pay the check, if you want to follow them you can, I can’t stop you, but I need to stay.” Patton squeezed Logan’s hand and nodded before scooting out the other direction and walking as briskly as he could to catch up with Virgil and Roman.

When he reached them in the parking lot, Roman was grabbing Virgil’s hand to stop him.

No Roman, no!

“Virgil, wait-”

Virgil pulled his hand back like Roman’s touch burned him, wheeling back to face Roman.

“Get the fuck away from me! I need some fucking time away from this bullshit!” Virgil snarled as his knuckles turned white from how much he was squeezing his hands into a fist. 

Roman made a strangled noise before retaliating, matching Virgil’s intensity in response. “Well, this bullshit is your fucking boyfriend Virgil! I don’t know what’s gotten you so worked up, but apparently I was wrong to let you into our debate at all if it’s going to make you this worked u-”

Roman was interrupted by Virgil punching him square in the jaw.

“Fuck you! You never did respect me. Your head’s always been too far up your ass to ever respect me like a proper boyfriend.” Virgil spat as Roman staggered back both from the punch and the surprise of Virgil hitting him and Virgil turned continuing back to his car. 

Patton held Roman’s shoulders for a beat as he had almost fallen, but Roman angrily shook him off. Patton’s heart dropped as he realized thing had gotten way out of hand.

Roman’s gaze quickly hardened into a fury matching Virgil’s, “Well when you get the balls enough to come back to me I can assure you that we are done!” Roman rose his voice to shout as Virgil opened the door to his car.

“Fine!” Virgil’s car door slammed.

“Fine!” Roman snarled as he stalked over to his own car, ignoring Patton’s pleas for him to stay. Only pausing to turn back to give a Patton a glimpse of the growing bruise on the left side of his face and Roman’s contemptuous expression. 

“Some best friends you are, I thought you would care enough to protect me, or at least do something.” Roman snapped as he got into his car and slammed the door.

Patton could swear he heard his heart break.

Patton felt helpless as he felt Logan’s hand settle onto his shoulder. Without hesitation, he turned to bury his face into Logan’s shoulder. Logan’s hand instinctively held the back of Patton’s head as he spoke.

“It’s going to be okay, Patton, they just need time to cool off. You know how we were when we were young, their tempers just need time to back down and let what they both said sink in. You know they love each other, this won’t stop them.” Logan consoled him as Patton trembled in his arms, shuddering but Patton was somehow to hold back his cries.

Distantly, he heard two engines start up and then go in opposite directions until he couldn’t hear them anymore over his shuddering breaths.

For both Roman and Virgil’s sakes, Patton hoped Logan was right.

Taglist:

@lefaystrent @ironwoman359 @delimeful @supersoftsupersleep @altruistic-skittles @007ardra @illogicalthinking 

#wwd2 #why we do what we do #sanders sides #sander sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders side fan fiction #sanders sides fan fic #patton sanders #thomas sanders patton #ts patton #logan sanders #thomas sanders logan #sanders sides logan #ts logan #thomas sanders virgil #virgil anxiety #virgil angst #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #thomas sanders roman #romantic logicality #romantic prinxiety #roman angst

[mythicalsecretsanta]

Mr Audi (T)

Title: Mr Audi Creator: @cryo-girl Prompt(s) used: a romcom meet-cute Rating: T Tags/warnings: N/A Description/caption: N/A

Link to AO3, or read below:

Link floored the gas pedal and took a quick look in the rear-view mirror. He smirked and readjusted his sunglasses with a practised move before he set his eyes back on the road. The light of the day was already fading, casting the streets in a red and golden shimmer that blinded him if the angle was just so.

The map on his crappy sat nav told him what he needed to do, and after a glance at the glowing green line on the screen Link drifted around the next corner with a slick flick of the wrist. The car spun, and for a moment Link was flying. This was what he loved and craved so much, these seconds where he was the centre of a blurry world which revolved around him and his machine.

Link was a racing driver, and he loved it. Nothing could give him more satisfaction than the sound of his car— the howling of the engine, the rubber of the tyres against hard concrete. Every little purr seemed synchronised with his heartbeat.

Link shook his head and took a look back again. The white Lexus was still closely following him, too closely perhaps. Link had only recently made it into the top twenty, and he needed to end this race on a darn good position if he wanted to keep his rank and get the cash to replace a few much needed spare parts on his baby.

His baby was a 2005 Corvette C6 with a professional nitrous system and reinforced gears, spray-painted after his own design in matte black with yellow highlights. It had been in a pitiful state when Link had won it in a midnight race a while ago, and it had taken him a long time to gather all the original parts which were needed to restore it.

For the last month it had been on the street though, with over 400 hp and 190 mph, and it had won Link the entrance into the high circles of the illegal underworld of car racing.

This race wasn’t exactly high-class, but winning it still meant good money and circuit practise. Link took another glance at his sat nav and changed onto a lane that led into a long tunnel. There was a lot of traffic around this part of the city, and he had to navigate around trucks and family vans without losing speed. He lost sight of his pursuer in the Lexus for a while and when he rushed out into daylight again he noticed a slightly battered BMW tailing him instead.

He took the next off-ramp to the freeway. This was the part Link loved the most, when he could tease the last kilowatt out of his machine and make use of an engine that enabled him to accelerate from 0 to 70 mph in 5.2 seconds.

The road over the bridge was surprisingly empty, only a few cars scattered on the lanes. Later, Link honestly couldn’t fathom how it had happened; one moment he was enjoying his leading position and the nice view onto the river, easily pulling around the other road users. A second later he heard a grating noise and felt the whole vehicle shaking as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, struggling to regain control over his skidding car. He’d hit another car, right at the back of it, and pushed it around 180°.

“Fuck!” he yelled, watching at least three of his competitors rushing past. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuck!!” Link slammed his fist into the dash.

How could he be so stupid? To make such a damn beginner’s mistake, getting into an accident without any cause, crashing into a civilian’s car?!

Link’s instinct was to get going and try to make up for the lost time, but there was something that made him stay and take a look at the other car. It was still standing on the spot where it had come to a stop; it didn’t seem seriously damaged, fortunately. A matte blue Audi A1, shimmering in the soft evening light.

Link didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he put his own car into reverse and slowly drove up to the Audi. He was only a couple of feet away when the blue car suddenly began to move, the damaged engine producing a pitiful sound.

What the heck, Link thought and started to follow the car. Why didn’t the driver confront him? The accident had been his fault. He followed the Audi, the race completely forgotten. Something was telling him that this little yuppie car was special; he felt drawn to it.

After twenty minutes of following the Audi he had enough. He went down on the accelerator and bumped into the back of the other car which came to halt. With a triumphant smile, Link steered his Corvette around it and prepared himself to finally, finally look at the driver of the blue car.

He turned his head and— saw nothing. The inside of the Audi was entirely black, and instead of a person who drove it there were only a handful of pixels.

——

Link put the controller down and rubbed his eyes. You’re getting insane, he thought. He’d just spent half an hour pursuing a digital car in the hope that the driver of said car, who didn’t exist because it was a fucking video game simulation, might fall in love with him.

“I need to get out” he muttered to himself and pushed the power button on his Xbox. The TV screen flickered for a second before it went black. Link wondered when he’d been outside for the last time. Yesterday? No, it had been the day before that, he’d had the monthly meeting with his boss. Link had always thought that working from home was one of the great advantages of being an analyst, but now he almost wished he had a job which forced him to go into the real world more often.

Still embarrassed about his strange behaviour in the racing game earlier, he decided to take a shower and go to the stores. It’d do him good to get some fresh air. Link stopped in front of the bathroom mirror to take a look at himself. What he saw depressed him to a certain extent.

Floppy hair, big glasses that always seemed to have smudges on them and pale skin. A scrawny body in a nerdy graphic tee.

Link was usually confident about his personality, he was smart and he prided himself on valuing his brains over his looks, but the blue Audi incident had surprised him and left a queasy feeling in his stomach.

Maybe his desire to find someone to love was bigger than he’d thought. But who would take a nerd like him? Who would put up with his adult braces and his weird eating habits? Link was a realistic person; there was no prince for him who would come riding on his German automobile and swoop him up into his arms.

With a sigh he turned to the shower.

——

“Hey! Look where you’re going, dude!”

Link had bumped head first into something very big and very soft. He’d been in the pasta aisle, looking down on his shopping list and hadn’t noticed the other man standing in his way.

“Oh, sorry, I-” He looked up and immediately stopped talking. The most attractive guy he had ever seen was staring down at him with an amused smile.

“You have to watch your step, man” the stranger said softly and shook his head, his long hair flying around. “Delicate guy like you, could easily be broken.”

Link felt panic rising in his chest. He was terrible at talking to strangers, especially when those strangers were beautiful and called him ‘delicate’. “Um…” was all he managed to choke out.

The other man laughed. “Are you all right? Did I knock the ability to speak out of you?”

“Oh, erm, no I’m okay. Sorry again.” Link adjusted his glasses and looked at his feet. He was afraid that he might die if he looked into that face again. That beard…

“It’s fine. It’s not everyday that I get that much body contact with someone as pretty as you are.”

What? Link knew that his social skills were incredibly poor, but it almost seemed to him as if he was being hit on by the stranger. That couldn’t be, right?

“Are you flirting with me?” he blurted out before he could stop himself. Stupid.

The stranger’s smile disappeared and Link hated to see it go. “Er, kind of? I’m sorry if I’m too straightforward, I’ve been told that I’m coming on a bit strong sometimes. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Link’s heart was pounding and he noticed that he kept readjusting his glasses. He almost pinched himself to make sure this wasn’t just a very good VR video game.

“No, it’s okay! I don’t mind it, I’m just… not very used to anyone wanting to flirt with me.”

The stranger smiled again, running his fingers through his blond mane in a deliberate way that made Link suspect he was doing it in order to impress him.

“That can’t be true. Pretty guy like you.”

Okay, now Link was certain that the man was messing with him. There was no way a guy like that, with expensive jeans and a carefully styled beard, would call him pretty.

“Are you trying to make fun of me?” he asked, taking a step to the side in case the man got mean.

“What? No, no! You are pretty. Not by regular standards maybe, I mean I’d get rid of the glass bricks in your face and maybe a shirt that fits would help, but you’re definitely cute! I like nerdy types.”

“Oh.”

“But if you’re not interested, that’s okay, sorry to have bothered you.” The stranger put his hands up and took a few steps back, away from Link.

This was Link’s one shot at meeting someone. He knew he finally had to break out of his shell.

“No, I’m interested!” he called out. The stranger stopped and looked at him. “I’m interested, please stay. I’m just not good at flirting, but you’re really handsome and I think I want to get to know you. Please allow me to ask you out?”

Link hoped that this was what people said in these situations. He only really knew how dating worked from films. Apparently his words had been right though, because the other man beamed and walked back to Link.

“Great! I’m Rhett. I’d like to give you my number, but my phone’s in my car. Do you wanna go outside to get it with me?”

Link nodded eagerly and they left the store, both abandoning their shopping carts. “I’m Link, by the way” he said.

They reached the parking lot and Rhett pointed over to a car at the very end of it. “That’s my car.”

Link followed his gaze and almost started to laugh.

On the other side of the parking area —standing out between a mass of white, beige and silver cars— stood a matte blue Audi A1.

#type: fic #rating: T #submission #gmselfiso

[writers-hes]

five years.

hello! here is the first part of a five part series called “five years”. it’s inspired by an article i read in the new york times. i really recommend/suggest you read it here. 

five years -- year 0. 

in which harry and you meet for the first time.

WARNING: unedited. 

contains: fluff !   

----------

“Danny!” Harry yelled as he saw one of his mates from his English classes. Harry was currently a psychology student, set to graduate in a few months. He was well known around the campus for being loud and kind to everyone. He was a part of humanitarian orgs and liked coffee a lot. He was usually hanging out at The Bean, a small coffee shop near uni. To him, The Bean was his second home. In fact, Angela, the pretty barista already knew his usual order. Harry tried to ask her out on a date and they went out for one date only to realise that it was weird, seeing as they treated each other like how siblings do. 

“Hey, Harry! Nice to see you,” Danny greeted back. Danny was Harry’s classmate in a couple of his Psychology classes. He was tall and lanky. He had shiny black hair that he dyes every other month. He wore thick-rimmed glasses because of his bad vision. He was also Harry’s best friend in uni. He and Harry liked to study together because Danny always had the complete notes and Harry always had something else to say that would make the subject easier to understand fro Danny. 

“I already ordered myself some coffee, by the way.” Harry said as he motioned to his glass tumbler. “You can go ahead and order something that you like I’ll wait out here,” he added. Danny nodded and walked towards Angela. He ordered two cups of coffee—one caramel latte and one homemade milk tea. He paid and waited for his orders and went back to his table with Harry. 

“Uh, is someone else coming?” Harry asked as soon as he saw two reusable glasses of caffeine. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you, H. My friend is coming over. She’s a Lit major and she’s picking up some of the books she lent Zo,” Danny said. He laid the milk tea down and took out three books from his backpack, all collections of poetry from Charles Bukowksi, Oscar Wilde, and Ocean Vuong.  

“So you buy her a drink, huh?” Harry teased, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Nah, not really. It was Zo who told me to buy her a drink,” Danny rolled his eyes. “He didn’t even give me some money for it,” he grumbled.

“Don’t worry, Dan. I’m sure you’ll get something else later!” Harry joked and laughed. Zo was Danny’s boyfriend for two years. He was also taking up Lit and met Danny through one of their English classes.

“Shut up, Harry!” 

———

“Say, what time is Zo’s friend coming over?” Harry asked. It’s been forty-seven minutes since Danny arrived. The ice from the tea Danny got her condensed. Harry stared at the layer of water separated from the layer of milk and tea.

“Uh, not sure,” Danny said, looking up from his notes. “I told her that I’ll be here for the whole day and she said that she’ll be here after she’s done with her classes.” Harry nodded and went back to reading his notes. He wondered who could it be. Zo and Danny never really mentioned that friend…perhaps they were new? It’s not like Harry loved to be nosey—it’s because the milk tea was starting to deteriorate and it’s so damn annoying. 

“So, are you letting her drink that?” he said, pointing at perfectly good drink forty five minutes ago. 

“Don’t know. Might drink it myself. You can have it if you like, I’ll get her a new drink.” Just then, Danny’s phone let out a ‘ping’. “Ah, she’s outside. I’ll just text her to come in here,” Danny said, typing for a few seconds on his phone. The door opened seconds later and there was you. 

You jogged on to where Danny was sat. “I’m sorry I made you wait, Dan! I had to stop by one of my professors to submit my classmates’ papers,” you breathed.

“It’s alright, misery,” Danny chuckled. “Oh, by the way! This is Harry,” he said, motioning Harry who was already looking at you. You smiled uncomfortably. “Harry, this is y/n, but Zo calls her ‘misery’,” 

“Why did you submit your classmates’ papers?” Harry asked.

“Oh, I’m the beadle for my creative writing class,” you replied. 

“Where are you going to next?” Danny asked. 

“Oh, I’m going to Kismet to study,” you tell him. 

“Kismet is closed, didn’t you hear? They’ve been doing some renovations. You should study here instead,” Harry interjected. “Besides, Danny got you a drink from Zo,” 

“Oh, uh—is that okay?” 

“Yeah. Don’t worry about him,” Danny replied. You take a seat beside Danny and in front of Harry. 

“Thanks for the drink, by the way. I’m sorry I’m late,” you whispered to Danny while leaning on his shoulder. You took the cold glass of tea and mixed the water with what Danny really paid for. You took a sip and finished it in seconds, to avoid the tea getting more watery.

You loved to wear sweaters even on summers. You loved to have your hair tied up so your hair wouldn’t get in the way of your clear-rimmed glasses. You had poor eyesight and a bad back. You liked tea and coffee but loved hot cocoa the best. You’re the sweet day on a hot summer. You were welcoming and warm.

“By the way, it was nice meeting you, y/n.” Harry said from across the table. 

———

Harry never really saw you after your encounter even though you saw him all the time. You just knew when he was near. He never left your mind ever since you met him at The Bean more than a week ago. You were always watching out for him and the possibility of him bumping into you and saying “hi” made you more alive than caffeine. What was with that curly haired boy? 

“So, I heard Kismet is finally open…” Zo said. You just finished one of your classes together and had a four hour vacant. 

“Ah, can we go there please? I miss my rose latte,” you pouted. 

“It’s not even that good. You just order it because it makes you feel like a Tumblr girl,” Zo chuckled. 

“Hey! Not true. I really like the taste! It’s not that sweet and not that strong either,” you retorted while bumping your sides with him. 

“You know who would like it? Harry. You met him, yeah?” 

“Yeah. I still feel a guilty for making him and Danny wait. Please tell them I’m sorry,” you pouted. Zo smiled at your sincerity. He knew that Harry and Danny didn’t mind—they were literally the most patient people he ever met. Well, not so much for Harry but he’s good enough. 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the campus, Harry was rushing to get to one of his majors. He had his textbooks and iPad in hand while speed walking to the designated room. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbled repeatedly. He couldn’t believe he didn’t notice the time. He was too busy catching up with some of his friends from high school who visited. He was zooming past the corridor when he heard a loud ‘hey’. He turned around and saw you with one of his dear friends, Zo, behind him. He lost balance and fell on his butt, his iPad and books lading on the floor. 

“Harry!” Zo gasped as he jogged to Harry. “What happened?” 

“Was rushing to my psych class and lost balance,” he huffed. You jogged towards the scene and started picking up what fell down. 

“Here you go,” you smiled as you waited for Harry to get back up on his feet. He took his stuff from you. He was so red and you couldn’t help but chuckle a little. 

“What are you laughing at?” he asked. 

“You’re so red! Are you sure you’re alright?” you asked. 

“Yeah…happens to me all the time,” he mutters. He looks at his wrist watch and sighed. “gotta go! Say hi to Danny for me, Zo! And it was nice seeing you again, y/n!” he said as he shuffled and power-walked to his next room.

Harry couldn’t believe it. Before he could even ask for your number, you saw him falling down like a wuss. How will you think he’s cool now? It’s not like he fell in a cool way. He groaned and slowly treaded in front of the class room. He entered and thanked the universe because the professor wasn’t there yet. He sat in his usual seat and opened his iPad and got his Pencil when he received a text from one of his mates, Louis. 

Louis Tomlindaughter: oi! u wanna go down to niall’s for the viewing party?????

harry: Can’t. I have to study for a major exam tomorrow. 

Louis Tomlindaughter: nerd! next time if you say no im gonna go there my fuckin self and drag u smh !

harry: Sorry. Maybe next time. 

Louis Tomlindaughter: alright then but if u dont get a good grade in ur exam im gonna tell y/n how dumb u are ! hehehe 🤭 

Louis knew that Harry had a crush on you. Right after he met you, he met up with Louis and Zayn for some burgers. He couldn’t stop gushing about how warm and nice you were. He didn’t stop talking about how you offered him half of your chocolate chip cookie. He also didn’t stop talking about how pretty you looked that time in your baggy sweater and clear-rimmed glasses. Louis never really knew you or bothered to. Zayn and you knew each other because you would aways see each other at Kismet. It seemed like you and Harry ran in the same social circle but you just never really met. He didn’t even wanna go to class anymore. He just wanted to go to you so you can finally talk to him without the interruption of academics. When you were at The Bean, you barely looked at each other, too busy studying and highlighting notes. He sighed. 

Danny: hey are you going 2 niall’s viewing party l8r??? 

hairstyles: No. I have a major exam tomorrow. 

Danny: u can study w zo! im leaving him alone tonight and u know how he is. he loves study dates because it makes him focus 

hairstyles: Oh? Alright. I’ll text him. 

cimmamom roll harry: Hey, Zo. I heard you’re studying tonight. Can I come? 

Zo: SURE 

cimmamom roll harry: Cool. What time and where? 

Zo: KISMET AT 7PM !!!

cimmamom roll harry: Okay. See you then! x

Harry really wanted to go to Niall’s viewing party. It was the premier of Stranger Things 3 and he wanted nothing more that to watch it with his friends. However, time didn’t permit him because he had to study. He was so tired, only functioning when there’s caffeine around. The Bean was basically his second home and although he never tried it at Kismet because he was too afraid to try something new, he was looking forward to it. 

7 p.m. came quickly and he was outside Kismet, a brown and white coffee place. The decorations were mostly made up of different wood and burlap. The accents were black and the paint was white. There were also little succulents and cactuses littering the shop from the windowsills to the high tables. He opened the door and heard the bells chime. He looked for Zo only to find you sitting at a brown solo couch. Harry decided to go to you first. 

“Hey, y/n, right?” 

You looked up from your textbook to find the curly haired boy that never seemed to leave your mind. 

“Yeah. Hi, Harry,” you smile at him. It seemed like butterflies erupted in Harry’s stomach when you said his name. Your accent made his name sound better.

“Uh, are you going to study with Zo?” he asked. You noticed how slow he talked. He mumbled his words and his accent was thick.

“Well, I was supposed to. But he said he wouldn’t be able to go in the last minute,” you tell him. 

“Is it alright if I study with you, then? Was supposed to study with Zo too but I suppose that’s not gonna happen tonight,” He was really hoping that you would say yes. 

“Sure! No problem. Just lay your stuff on the table and I’ll watch you stuff while you order,” you tell him, motioning on the empty chair in front of you. Harry nodded and did what you told him too. he said thanks before leaving to get his order. 

Zo: thnx me l8er harry ;) 

Meanwhile, Harry was freaking out when he saw Zo’s text. He didn’t know he would be alone with you. Sure, Zo and Danny was doing him a favour and all that but—wait. How did Zo and Danny knew he was crushing on you? 

“Hello! What may I get for you today?” a blue-haired girl asked Harry once he was in front of the cashier. 

“Hi,” he looked at the girl’s name tag, “Rue. What are your crowd favourites here?” 

“Well, we got a lot! We have rose latte, apricot tea with aloe vera, grape cheezo tea, brown sugar milk, condensed milk coffee, and ca phe sua. I personally like the brown sugar milk and rose latte. The rose latte is our signature drink,” Rue informed. 

“I’ll have that, yeah. Large. I’ll also get two herb and and tomato linguine, please. With buttered bread and extra cheese, yeah?” 

“That will be…5.50 for the latte and then…25 flat for the pasta.” Rue said. Harry handed his credit card to Rue and told her to take something for a tip. Rue declined, telling him that it was fine—he was also a student and he didn’t have to. He opted for some loose cash from his pockets instead and put it into the tip jar. Rue thanked him repeatedly before he left the station to go back to where you sat and wait for his orders. 

“I hope you haven’t had dinner yet,” he said as soon as he settled himself on the comfy couch. 

“Oh, no. Not yet, why?” you asked. 

“Because I got you some pasta. It would be foolish of me to get two pastas of the same kind, yeah?”

“Well, maybe you really like the pasta. Who am I to judge?” you teased. 

“Not really a pasta man. More of a steak man myself,” he mentioned. 

“Ugh. I would kill for a steak right after the exams,” you told him. The past week, you have’t been eating full meals because of how busy you were. Caffeine and instant ramen was your go-to. if you were lucky, you would be able to make a quick stop to McDonald’s and get some nuggets. 

Harry’s orders arrived soon after and you thanked him as he handed the red sauced pasta to you. 

“So, what are you studying?” he asked you. 

“Not really studying but our final project is to compare two complete different poets together,” you told him. 

“Oh? Who did you pick?”

“Bukowski and Wilde. I really love Bukowski and he was my major influence in all of my poems,” you told him. 

“I don’t really know him that much but I stumbled upon one of his works before. I think it was Into the Arms of Another? It had those words but I remembered liking it a lot,” 

“Out of the Arm of One Love, you mean?” you corrected. “It’s actually one of his more famous works if I’m not mistaken but yeah, I love that poem too,” 

“Who’s your favourite poet?” he asked you. 

“I really love Virginia Wolfe, Maya Angelou, Ocean Vuong…but for me, Bukowski would always take the cake. The way he writes his poetry is so direct and sad. The emotions are very violent and I just really love him,” you gushed. 

He smiled at you. What was with you that pulled him? Is it your intellect? Or is it because you were so damn beautiful? 

“If it’s okay with you…can you show me more of his works?” he asked you. Harry surprised himself. He never really liked reading but he was suddenly so interested in what you were interested in. For you, the stranger he met two weeks ago, he was willing to read some poetry so he wouldn’t look like such a dummy. He never really liked changing for other people but what was with you?

“Yeah, of course! You can have my number. We can talk to each other there,” you told him. You wrote your number on a scrap paper and gave it to Harry. You surprised yourself. You never did this to other guys so what was with this lanky boy with good fashion taste? He took the paper from your hands and the soft touch of your skin to his was a shot of electricity between the both of you. You both immediately pulled away, shocked. 

“Erm, yeah, thanks,” he muttered. you immediately go back to the books you were reading and he opening his psychology textbook. He fished for his pencil case inside his bag. He took his pink highlighter and started to highlight terms. You sat in awkward silence for a little bit but it soon turned into a peaceful silence. You may have talked less but you were enjoying each others’ company. 

The cafe soon announced its last call. It was nearing midnight so you both packed up your things. You walked outside the cafe with him in silence. 

“Hey, y/n?”

“Mmm…?” 

“Where do you live? I’ll take you,” he told you. 

“Oh, it’s fine. You don’t need to do anything,” you told him. 

“I insist.” 

You informed him your address and just like in the cafe, you walked in peaceful silence until you reach your building.

“Here I am,” you announced. “Thanks for the pasta, bye the way.” 

“It’s nothing. Hey, you said you would kill for a steak after finals, right? Why don’t I take you out then?” he asked. You smiled at him and nodded. You hugged him and ran to your flat. What was with that curly haired boy with perfect posture?

Harry arrived at his soon after, wondering what the hell was with the girl with bad posture? You wore a pink sweater on your ‘study date’ so Harry painted his nails pink.

#harry #Harry Styles #harrystyles #harry styles fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiic #fluff #college #styles #fluffy #first date #first meeting

[sableunstable]

Drunk

Inspired by a request from @curiouselfqueen. Enjoy!

...

"Go home, Harry, you're drunk."

You know, I really don't think I am.

The world was spinning rather chaotically, in his opinion. Leaning against the back of a wooden chair that seemed to want to do the bloody can-can, Harry peered blearily up at the owner of the voice, a trickle of sweat running down the side of his neck. He felt like utter shite. The low murmur of talking and laughter, the band playing an endless cycle of Christmas music, the garish red and green decorations, it pressed down at him from all sides, emphasizing the horrible pounding in his temples.

His brain felt like a cauldron full of bubbling mush, and like it was hollering at him at the speed of sound, all at the same time. And he wasn't entirely sure why.

How strong was that firewhiskey anyway?

"You realise you've got a game tomorrow, don't you? Drinking in excess this evening really wasn't a good idea."

"You sound like my bloody mother," Harry mumbled, lifting a shaky hand to wipe the spit off his chin. There was a buzzing in his chest that seemed to have taken on a life of its own. Like he'd swallowed a handful of bees.

Had he swallowed a handful of bees?

"Now, now, no need to be nasty. I'm just making an observation."

Observation, my arse.

"And a very nice arse it is, too, love."

"Fuck you," Harry muttered again, pushing away from the chair and taking a step away from the annoying twat who seemed to have developed his mind reading skills rather rapidly, only to stop when the floor seemed to swoop and slur around him, imitating the contents of his suddenly burning stomach. When did the lights get so bloody bright? Couldn't they turn those down or something? "I don't need t'do anything you say."

"You are right, you don't. But I'm sure your coach and team would appreciate it if you did, however."

Harry shook his head. The bees in his chest had begun to grow tentacle-like horns, the buzzing spreading up into his throat and down into his lower body. It hurt. Why did it hurt? They were snapping out and stinging him, a swell of buzzy, sharper-than-pin-prick tingles that were both confusing and distressing. The pounding in his head had taking on a somewhat floaty edge, as if his thoughts were being consumed by bubbles made of concrete. Harry let out a quiet laugh.

Bubbles weren't made of concrete. Were they?

Had he had too much champagne?

He'd only had one drink.

Hadn't he?

Just one. He'd committed to just one.

The only one.

Concrete-bubble thoughts were very strange. Harry laughed again and blinked the sweat out of his eyes before taking another step.

His legs were trembling. Were his legs trembling?

Why?

He'd had one drink!

"Harry? All right, love, you really don't look good. I think we should call it a night, hmm?"

A hand grasped his arm, voice gentle, breath warm against his ear. Harry tried to lift his head, to move his mouth; to nod; to push the hand away; to do something, but found whatever it was going to be impossible. The buzzing was deafening now, screeching with knives that scraped at his insides. Jellifying his thoughts.

Jellifying his lungs.

He couldn't breathe.

He'd had one drink!

Ah, fuck me.

"Harry? Harry!"

Nope, really not drunk, was Harry's last sighing thought as his legs gave way under him, his consciousness fleeing suddenly and violently under the force of the drug he'd taken without his knowledge coursing through his system. Really not drunk at all.

~0~

"You're incredibly pretty, you know."

It was said almost conversationally. The corner of Draco's mouth twitched, his cheeks taking on a tinge of heat.

Bloody charmer.

"Shut it, Potter, you're drunk."

"Am not," Potter replied, his voice coming out mulish. The quill in Draco's hand paused for just a second before continuing. The scratching of the tip on the parchment was loud in the otherwise quiet room.

Stale. The room was stale. Draco frowned down at the notes he was updating. Bloody Healers didn't know what they were on about.

That wouldn't do.

"You're acting like you are."

"It's the drug, not me!"

"And now you're whining," Draco said calmly, setting the notes back down in their slot at the end of the bed and removing his wand, his robes swishing around his ankles as he moved around the room to freshen things up, every once in a while revealing a glimpse of his dragonhide boots. "Whining is incredibly unbecoming, you know. Not very attractive at all."

"I could make you come if you'd let me."

Stopping as if he'd ran smack into an invisible wall, Draco's head snapped around so quickly, his neck protested. Potter was sitting up in the hospital bed, his cheeks a ruddy, ruby red. He was looking at Draco with half-cast eyes, lids low. Draco scowled and snapped his wand back into its holster.

His heart was beating much too fast.

Fucking drug.

"I'd advise you to watch your mouth, scarhead," he said, walking back over to the bed and reaching a hand out to grip Potter’s chin. Those hot, half-cast eyes had spidery yellow veins stretching out from the emerald green irises.

Yip, still high as a bleeding kite. Draco's scowl deepened

"You're in a public place. It wouldn't do to be overheard."

"I really don't care if the entire Ministry overhears me. You're bloody pretty and I'd really like to make you come. Or just touch you. Either's good, although I'm sure you'd enjoy the first a lot more than the second."

Bloody hell. Hot eyes indeed. Draco's heart slamming in his chest, he went to release Potter's chin and step back, away from the drugged, horny toad coming on to him, only to find he couldn't. Potter's hand was wrapped around his wrist.

No way to escape.

Did he even want to?

"Draco."

"Don't." The word whiplashed out, making Harry flinch. Draco's fingers tightened on his chin to the point of pain. "Don't you dare speak. You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes I do," Harry answered hurriedly, hot eyes now suddenly pleading. "I do. I'm sorry. Don't be angry with me. Please don't be angry with me. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be angry with you? Don't be angry with you?! You let yourself get fucking drugged!" Draco exploded, ripping his wrist out of Harry's grip and storming away from the bed, the anger, the helplessness, the fear, bubbling up inside his gut until he couldn't contain it anymore. "You know there are still factions out there that want you dead, people that'll do anything to stop you playing, yet you accepted a drink from a stranger at a party hosted by someone we don’t know personally and you didn't fucking check it! All because you were angry with me! How could you be so bloody careless?!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking!"

"Of course you weren't fucking thinking, you daft dunderhead! If you had've been, I wouldn't have just been correcting the antidote dosage those bloody incompetent healers have given you! Bloody shitting hell, I could strangle you!"

"Wanna fuck me instead?"

Swinging around and springing forward, Draco planted his hands on the bed, teeth bared. "Those buffoons you call teammates are rubbing off on you far too much," he snarled, almost vibrating with anger. "Check that inappropriate humour coping mechanism, Potter, before I bite off the bloody head you seem to be thinking with!"

"Oooh, kinky. Yes please? Okay, okay, sorry!" Harry said hurriedly, holding up his hands when Draco growled low and clenched the sheets like he wanted to tear them in two. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Um. My head's still muddy and you really are exceptionally beautiful when you're pissed. Your eyes are just… ahem. Anyway. I'm really fucking sorry, okay? God, you've no clue how sorry I am. It shouldn't've happened. It won't happen again. I swear it won't."

"You're fucking right, it won't."

"No, it won't," Harry agreed rapidly, words tripping over themselves in their hurry to get out. "It won't because you won't let it, yeah?" His palm was hot as he leant forward and laid it against Draco's cheek, spiderly, slowly clearing eyes both panicky and earnest. "I've a Head Healer who loves me, don't I? He'll be all annoyingly suspicious and overprotective from now on, I guarantee it."

His heart was slamming its way into his throat. Draco swallowed heavily and pushed back from the bed to rub his wet eyes with fingers that shook.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Screw you, Potter. I swear, if you do something that ridiculously stupid again, I will poison you so slowly and painfully you'll beg me to end it. You know I can do it. I'm the bloody best Healer St Mungo's has."

"Draco."

The single word broke through the quivering steel holding his spine straight. It felt almost as if his body was beyond his control as he turned back and hurled himself towards the bed, the formal robes he'd worn to the public party he and Harry had attended that evening at the Minister’s urging billowing out over him and his husband when he wrapped himself up in Harry's outspread arms. His grip tight enough to hurt, he hugged the man he'd almost lost to his chest, all because of a stupid argument they'd had over Harry committing them to attending Christmas at the Burrow for the umpteenth time without discussing it with Draco first. Long hours and exhaustion, stress on both sides, and no 'us time' had contributed to everything getting blown out of proportion.

It won't happen again.

"We're taking a holiday for Christmas," he muttered into Harry's neck, eyes still hot and damp. He could feel the bumps of Harry's spine underneath the cold starchiness of his unflattering hospital gown. "Somewhere hot. Just us. Molly'll understand that, yes? We need some just us time. Can we do that please?"

"Yes, yes, of course we can. Just us." Harry's reply was muffled by the collar of Draco's rapidly getting wet robes. He continued to mutter bumbling words of reassurance, his hands moving from Draco's hair, to under his robes, to Draco's face and back again, fingertips gentle on skin chilled by terror. They clung to each other like a lifeline, for how long neither were entirely sure.

The words had slowly run out, both of them silent in each other's arms, when Harry spoke again.

"So. How do you feel about us ending the evening with me sucking you off until your brain explodes?"

Draco's rather shocked snort rang through the no longer stale room. "Sweet Salazar, Harry!" he said, coughing on the air he'd swallowed as he pulled back. "You're in a hospital bed, for Merlin’s sake!"

"So?" Harry sent him a winning smile and sidled a little closer. "We're all alone and the door's lockable. What d'ya say?"

"I say you're barmy, is what I say!"

"Nah, just feeling the aftereffects of a drug and its antidote, a combination that's probably not supposed to make me horny. But hey, you're here and you're bloody stunning, and I really, really want to touch you. Just touch you. Draco? Please?"

It took a moment, but Draco's smile grew. "Whining won't get you anywhere, but manners certainly will," he murmured, letting out a low chuckle when Harry released an excited, almost puppy-like yip and threw himself back into his husband's welcoming arms.

It took three of Draco's colleagues almost an hour to break his reinforced locking charm. Neither of the room's rather busy occupants noticed.

#Drarry #Draco/Harry #Please forgive any awkwardness in the writing #I haven't written in a very long time

[yeontanismypresident]

Pregnant | Jungkook

A/N: Thanks for requesting love, hope it’s what you wanted! 

Words: 1.6K

It was a Saturday, a day off for the boys, when you woke up at nine in the morning. You were cuddled up next to Jungkook in his bed at the dorms, staring at his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and at ease that you didn’t want to wake him up, but your stomach had other ideas.Not even half an hour had passed when you started feeling nauseous You ran to the bathroom, emptying your stomach's contents. Jungkook had heard you from the bed and sat up.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” he called out to you as he came to hold your hair out of the way. He rubbed your back as you continued to lean over the toilet.

Getting up and flushing the toilet you turned towards your concerned boyfriend, “Yeah I’m fine, just got sick a little is all. Don’t worry.” You grabbed the toothbrush you leave here for when you stay and start to brush your teeth. You could brush all of the sickness off, but Jungkook on the other hand was getting increasingly worried. He wasn’t afraid to voice it either, “Baby this is the third day in a row that you’ve thrown up.” He followed you as you walked to the living room, seeing only Taehyung and Jimin up.

The smell of bacon cooking made you feel sick to the stomach and you tried to hold the feeling in. Yet your attempt at acting like everything was fine failed when once again you were rushing towards the bathroom. Jungkook sighed as he went to make sure you were okay. He hated seeing you like this and he felt even worse because he didn’t know what to do.

Jimin saw Taehyung in deep thought and questioned what he was thinking so hard about, “Why do you have that look on your face? What’s running through your head?” He didn’t receive an answer causing him to shrug and turn back to the stove. He had more important things to do than wait for Taehyung to speak: Making sure the bacon didn’t burn.

It was only five minutes later when Taehyung finally voiced his thoughts, “What if she’s pregnant?” The question made Jimin whip around to stare at his younger friend in confusion. They didn’t notice the Maknae standing in the doorway and before Jimin could ask Jungkook beat him to it, “What do you mean by that Hyung?” Even though his voice was faint, it still had the power to startle his two Hyungs.

“Fuck Jungkook you can’t do that!” Jimin scolded him as he held his hand over his chest where his heart was, “I could’ve had a heart attack!”

Jungkook didn’t pay him any mind, all of his attention on Taehyung and wanting to know what made his friend say that. Right as Taehyung was going to answer, Jin came running in, “Why is there smoke filling the whole dorms!?” It was then the three younger boys had taken notice of the smoke billowing throughout the kitchen and into other parts of the apartment. “And why the hell isn’t the smoke alarm working!?” Jin pulled the smoke alarm off the wall and checked the back, only to see no batteries in it. As he opened some windows and turned the fan on he kept muttering something along the lines of ‘fucking Namjoon always forgetting to change the batteries’. They all became so caught up in trying to get rid of the smoke that they forgot all about their previous conversation.

--0--0--0--0--

A week later and you were still getting sick. Jungkook could only watch as you continued to throw up all of your dinner from the night before. A curious and concern glint could be seen in his eyes every time he watched you. Whenever he asked you to go to the doctor you would just reply with, ‘It’s just the flu. It’ll go away soon.’

“Y/n please go to the doctor’s. This has been going on for two weeks already!” Anyone could tell Jungkook was getting worried about you by the way his voice betrayed his calm exterior.

You sat down on his bed and just rolled your eyes, “I already told you Jungkook it’s just the flu! It’s going to go away soon!” For some reason you were starting to get all emotional. Frustration and sadness creeping up on you. For what reason you had no clue. Jungkook, on the other hand, had a good idea as to why. He was getting so frustrated that you weren’t even caring that he just blurted out, “Are you pregnant?”

“What?” you gave him a blank face and your voice was monotone as you spoke. He realized what he said and looked at you hesitantly. Seeing his mouth open as to speak, you beat him to it, “Did you just ask me if I’m pregnant?”

“Think about it baby. You’re always getting sick in the morning, you’re almost always hungry and craving weird things. Like who actually enjoys hot cheetos dipped in some strawberry yogurt?” he started to go off and rant, his voice picking up speed as well as going up an octave. You could tell he was getting anxious and nervous about how you would react, but you couldn’t help but to question it. Were you pregnant?

As he was still going off on how you were still beautiful even if you were starting to eat a lot, you got up and walked out of his room. He stopped short and just stared at where you once sat. Quickly coming to the realization that you weren’t in the room anymore, he ran out to see you putting your shoes on.

The rest of the boys watched on as Jungkook grabbed your wrist lightly, “Where are you going?” You gently tugged your wrist out of his grasp, opening the front door, “I just need some time to think.” Jungkook could only watch as you walked away from him, his heart dropping as he thought of everything he had said. Why did he have to blurt out that idea? Why couldn’t he have kept his thoughts to himself? He grabbed at his hair and sank to his knees, not noticing his friend come over to him.

Taehyung  pulled Jungkook up and brought him over to the couch, “Are you okay Jungkook-ah?” All Jungkook could do was stare at the wall opposite of him making the rest of his band members stare at him with sympathy in their gaze.

--0--0--0--0--

You couldn’t believe you were actually doing this. The pregnancy test in your hand shook as your nerves started. Doing as the instructions told you, you waited five minutes and they felt like hours. When your timer went off you jumped, too lost in your thoughts on what would happen if it were positive. Oh god would Jungkook leave you? Would he want you to have an abortion? Would you get an abortion just to stay with him? The answer was clear to you as you unconsciously held a hand on your abdomen. No matter what the outcome was, you were keeping the little angel that was growing inside of you.

Shakily picking up the test you clasped a hand over your mouth as tears streamed down your face. It was positive. Grabbing your phone you clicked on Jungkook’s contact and tried to hold in your sobs. When he answered the call you couldn’t hold in the wails coming out of you.

“Y/n!? Are you okay!? What’s wrong!?” his voice was frantic as he heard your crying on the other end of the phone. It took you a little while to calm down enough to talk, “Can you please come here? We need to talk.” Getting an ‘okay’ from him, you hung up and continued to cry as you pulled your knees to your chest.

Jungkook’s heart was racing as he ran all the way to your place. Were you breaking up with him? Were you okay? All of these thoughts were still rushing around his head when he showed up at your door. He used the spare key you gave him and walked in, hearing your cries from the bathroom. He knocked on the door softly, “Y/n? Baby, can I come in?” A small and faint reply came from the other side of the door.

He pushed the door open slowly and saw you sat on the floor against the wall. He crouched in front of you and wiped your tears gently off with the ends of his hoodie.

“Please don’t leave me,” your voice was quiet and shaking with nerves.

He shook his head and pulled you into his warm embrace, “Never.”

You pulled your head away from his chest and looked at the door behind him, “Jungkook..I’m pregnant.” You could hear as well as feel his breath hitch. You couldn’t bear to see the judgement in his gaze, so you kept your eyes away from his.

“Hey, look at me baby girl,” his fingers held your chin delicately, turning your head towards him, his eyes calm and loving, “I’d never leave you, especially not over this. We may be young, but I’m certain I want a family with you. You’re the one I want to marry in the future.” He saw your eyes swell up with even more tears, this time happy, and gave you a feather like kiss on your lips. Gaze falling onto your non existent bump he put a hand over it, “And this little bean in here is ours. Made from our love. I wouldn’t want to have this child with anyone else.”

You looked at him with so much love in your eyes that it made his heart beat faster, “I love you so much Kookie.”

Happy tears filled his eyes as he gave you a passionate kiss, “I love you too Y/n.”

#BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jeongguk x reader #jeongguk x you #jeon jeongguk #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #bts fluff imagines #jungkook x reader insert #bts insert #bts x you #bts x reader

[guardiansspacepilot-blog]

The sole f80 Review

Hey, treadmill reviews calm. Today we are looking at the sole f80. This is one of our top picks for treadmills under $ 1500. So this machine is super easy to assemble, which is one of the reasons we like it.

One person can put it together very quickly with just a little bit of help from a second when putting on the console. It'S super sturdy and it has a very high weight capacity at 375 pounds. There'S a 3.5 CHP motor in this treadmill, the frame, deck and motor have a lifetime.

Warranty parts have five years and labor has two. It also has a larger running surface. Most machines we look at are about 20 inches by 60. This is a 22 by 60-inch running surface. It'S also super quiet, so it runs about 60 to 78 decibels. [ Music ] all right, so the sole f80 is a folding treadmill and for people who don't have a dedicated space for their treadmill.

This is great feature. It'S really easy to fold: it's really easy to move, so you can kind of store it away and move it out of the way. We'Ll show you how that works, but there's a bar right here on the back end, if you don't grab the bar you'll, probably pinch your fingers, so you just cannot grab the bar, which is every other machine.

It'S really easy. It'S right here and it lifts super easy. If there's a hydraulic in there that helps you, you just stick it up and you'll hear it. Click into place and it'll sit all day itself. So, even if you pull on this, it's not gon na fall down. There'S a latch right here, which you pull to release and I'll show you that in just a second, but I want to show you how you can move this machine really easily. There'S four wheels so two in the front, and then these two back here you can place your foot and pull it down and wiggle it around this way.

You can also slide it this way, so it moves really easy um if you're just pulling it. You know side to side and not doing like massive moving I'll show you an easy way to move it too. If you pull this lever and the machine will lower itself with the hydraulic, so it goes down nice and slow if you're, just gon na slide it back and forth like out of a closet or just out of the way, it's really really easy to move like This it's just it's super light, so you can move it all by yourself.

Okay, now we're going to take a look at the features that the sole f80 treadmill has they're a little underwhelming, but it has everything you need to get a good workout in right.

Here. We have two fans and they're kind of pointless, especially if you're tall you're, not gon na, feel it. You have to sound really close to the console, while you're running to get anything out of there, so you're gon na expect to need a different fan. Next to your treadmill, if you want to breathe while you're running, there's five storage, cubbies, so one two and then three four five down here on the bottom, so a lot of space to hold your water bottles. There'S also this tray right here.

If you want to set your phone or your tablet or your book down the little lips, so that'll hold that on there, for you there's a nine inch LCD, backlit display and then, as far as heart rate monitors go. They have the handles where you can hold and check your heart rate. It also comes with this polar heartrate. Chest strap monitor, so this thing's really great when you're exercising cuz tracking your heart rate.

This way is the most accurate way you can do it. However, with this one there's a little bit of a lag time when you're first starting to run, it takes a couple minutes to display an accurate reading, it's kind of all over the board for the first minute or two, while it adjusts to picking up the rhythm Of your heart rate for the incline and the decline, you have these buttons right here for just a quick adjust one three, five, seven it skips up, but you can do larger integers for changing your incline right here.

They also have a smaller integer change. With these up and down buttons on the handlebar, if you use the handlebars a lot, they can sometimes get in your way, so you just have to get used to not grabbing on to the handlebar right here.

The same goes for the speed, so you can go and in a whole miles per hour and then some for changing speeds right here and then you can in a tenth of a mile per hour, if you're, using these up and down arrows right here on the Handle but this name goes, as you know, the decline kind of in the way, but you just have to get used to it.

There'S an mp3 plug where you can plug your phone or mp3 player in here, and it will project the sound from your speakers. So there's two speakers: there's no volume control on the console, so you'll have to adjust it with your device. It'S a little a little strange and then we can't really figure out a good application for this headphones jack.

If you want to plug your music in here, you could project it through your headphones here. Maybe that's a better option for some people if their cord gets in the way, there's really no other application for it, but that's it for the features.

The sol-fa TM has a nine inch LCD backlit display screen. It shows you your incline and distance, and over here it shows you your speed and calories burned with your overall time. This is just a standard track and it shows your progress as you're running it laps around a track.

Any workout that you select will show you like your speed and your incline variation here on this graph.

Then it shows your heart rate right here and then your heart rate zone, so whatever percentage your heart rate is at the you know, based on your heart rate zones, is gon na. Tell you what kind of workout you're getting so right now I have the chest strap line and it starts out a little a little wonky but as you've been running for a minute or two it'll, really sync, with your heart rate and so it'll give you a Good accurate read it just takes a second to get there to access their programs.

They have all the buttons right here. So there's a manual and then five standard settings you just hit, you know like he'll and it has one workout for a hillclimb fat burn. Cardio strength, interval, they're all the same.

You hit the button and it's one workout. You don't have to go through a bunch options or pick which one which can be a downside if you're looking for more options versus like beginner intermediate advanced the upside to this.

It'S a great machine for somebody who wants to step on the treadmill, push a button and start running, there's just no fuss with it. These two programs are for individual users, where you can customize your workout based on.

You know certain certain stats about yourself and then you can also do a heartrate customized workouts, where you set a target heart rate, and then you do your exercise from there. There are also incline options right here where you can adjust your incline and then the speed right here where you can go up and down with your speed as well.

So this is basically, you know a classic treadmill. It'S not super tech, heavy, it's great for people who just want to you know, get on and start running other machines that are more of a tech. Heavy machine are geared towards those who are comfortable with a tablet, and if you're, not somebody who's comfortable with that, you'd probably feel a lot more comfortable on the sole f80.

All right. So now we're gon na. Take you through the sole f80 as it's actually going, so you can get a good feel for the sound any of the noise output output. We'Re gon na turn on some music through the speakers.

So you can hear how that works and also show you the incline and decline and the speed capabilities. This treadmill can go from 0 to 12 miles per hour.

The incline that goes from a zero to a 15 % incline, so we're gon na start with the fan. Actually, you can hear the noise from the fan to kind of see what it does again. It'S just kind of pointless, but we'll show you anyway, so it has one setting you just turn it on makes a little bit of noise.

You can kind of see the power, but not really so we'll just turn that off and then with the music. We have a phone plugged in so that we can project it and there's no volume control on the console. So that's something you have to do from your device. So there's a little taste of that.

I'M going to go ahead and turn it on to a three with the manual setting and push start. Okay, so it'll go up to a three and we'll take it all the way to the 15 percent incline [, Music ]. One thing that I don't love about. This machine is that the handlebars don't extend very far back, so I feel a little insecure walking on it because my feet easily hit this belt cover.

So I have to stand back which takes me away from the handlebars.

That'S something that you can get used to. If you're an excellent runner - and you don't plant your foot in front of yourself - then it's you probably don't have to worry about it, but it is a consideration. So this is at 15 % incline, and this is the max that it'll go and you can't hit a zero just to take it all the way back to a flat.

The lowest interval it has is a 1, and then you have to use the arrows to get all the way back to a zero.

Ok, so that's a 1 and you just bump it down again and you can get it to 0 and then I'll increase the speed and you can listen for the sound that it makes as you run, [ Music ]. So this is not seven miles per hour, so this machine also comes with a cushion flex suspension.

You can probably see the tread balancing as I'm running, but it's not a huge cushion, there's a little bit there. But if you hop off this and keep running on pavement, it's still, you know. They'Re pretty similar, so it's not a huge ad for their cushion flex.

Another thing that we noticed is that their side rails are super slippery. So if you have a shoe with a lot of tread on it, it might not be as big of a problem, but that is something to watch out for as well

The bottom line is that the sole f80 is a really good treadmill. It'S got a super solid, build and a very strong motor. If you are at a higher weight, then this is gon na, be a great machine for you, because it has one of the highest weight capacities and if you're not looking for something, that's really tech heavy. It is a great simple machine that you can get on and get a good workout with, and it's gon na last you for a long time.

All these reasons are why this is one of our top picks for treadmills under $ 1500 to read our full review.

You can check out this treadmill on http://thetreadmilldiaries.com

[frontproofmedia]

Jake Paul vs. Tyron Woodley Final Press Conference Quotes And Photos

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Published: August 27, 2021

CLEVELAND – Renowned content creator and unbeaten pro boxer Jake “The Problem Child” Paul and former UFC champion Tyron “The Chosen One” Woodley went face-to-face and continued their war of words during a heated final press conference as the two fight camps nearly came to blows Thursday before they settle their rivalry in the ring this Sunday, August 29 headlining a SHOWTIME PPV from Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse in Cleveland.

Thursday’s press conference also featured the fighters who will be competing on the jampacked lineup of undercard attractions. Puerto Rican star Amanda “The Real Deal” Serrano will defend her featherweight titles against super bantamweight champion Yamileth Mercado in the co-feature of the PPV telecast, which begins at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT.

Former world champion Ivan Baranchyk returns to take on unbeaten Cleveland-native Montana Love in a 10-round super lightweight fight, while U.K. stars Daniel “Dynamite” Dubois and Tommy “TNT” Fury make their U.S. debuts in separate bouts, as Dubois faces Juiseppe Angelo Cusumano in a 10-round heavyweight fight, while Fury duels Anthony Taylor in a sixround showdown.

In action taking place prior to the pay-per-view, undefeated Cleveland-native and 2016 U.S. Olympian Charles Conwell squares off against unbeaten Juan Carlos Rubio in a 10-round super welterweight tilt.

Tickets starting at $25 are still available via RocketMortgageFieldHouse.com.

Here is what the press conference participants had to say Thursday:

JAKE PAUL

“When I started boxing, I didn’t think I’d be here this fast. My original goal was to fight Conor McGregor or Floyd Mayweather because I knew I would have a big enough pay-per-view draw to do those things. Now I want to become world champion. I want to fight and beat Canelo Alvarez. This has been a fast, quick roller coaster ride, but I didn’t expect to be here. I just knew I loved fighting and I knew I was good at it.

“This is an exciting time. I’m bringing it home for Cleveland. We knew that when we teamed up with SHOWTIME, that this would be a huge event. This is turning into a historic moment.

“Tyron Woodley is ‘The Chosen One’, we chose him to get his ass beat. None of his accomplishments matter on Sunday night. I’m sending him into retirement and turning him into a meme. People are going to see all of my skills. People are going to be surprised. I haven’t shown anything yet. I might come out southpaw. This is my coming-out party.

“It’s going to be another show on Sunday. I’m putting on another masterful performance and a boxing clinic. This guy is going to sleep and getting turned into another meme. Just like his friend Ben Askren. After Sunday, nobody is ever going to talk about Woodley ever again. He’s a speed bump on the road of my career.

“There’s no other fighter that’s 3-0 and taking fights against champions. I want challenges and I want to push myself. I was much more motivated in training camp because I know this is a dangerous opponent. I expect him to come out sharp and I expect this to be a fun one.

“I’m polarizing, I get it. I don’t care what people think. Most people aren’t like that. They’re scared to rub people the wrong way. Some people want to see me lose, but I’m here to stay.

“A fight against Tommy Fury makes sense. That’s a huge fight. It seems to be right in the palm of both of our hands. We do have to go out and perform on Sunday. I want to see how the U.S. crowd receives him. I want to see if he has that star power this whole entire week. He doesn’t have the big pay-per-view numbers that Tyron Woodley has or even a Ben Askren. Those guys sold tons of pay-per-views. No one has seen a Tommy Fury fight.

“There’s no real respect between us. I’m going to show that winning a UFC championship doesn’t mean anything in the world of boxing.”

TYRON WOODLEY

“I’m almost falling asleep over here listening to this guy. It’s disgusting how much of a clown people have to be to be recognized. He’s got the appearance of being about that action down, but I’m really like that.

“This is the fight game. You can say what you want to say and you can do what you think fighters do. Jake does all the things to build the fight, but we’re really here now. He’s getting hurt on Sunday.

“All the people around him have lied to him. They don’t want to lose their bag. They’re not pushing him. You can come out with that dumb robot, it doesn’t matter. You’re getting knocked out.

“I’m just really ready to fight. I don’t have any shenanigans or B.S. I should bring him some wipes to clean himself up when I knock him out on Sunday.

“He hasn’t shown me anything yet. Real recognize real. I don’t worry about what anyone on the outside is saying. I’m worried about bringing that action.

“I’m going crazy on Sunday. At the end of the day, it’s been a long time coming. I’m thankful for my team that’s supported me but I’m also thankful for everyone who counted me out. When everyone comes against you, it shows how powerful what you’re about to do is.

“I think in general with combat sports, one person does something and people want to replicate it. This is a real fight though. If you look at the way we’re built, this is a real fight. Some people took this lightly and that’s why they came up short against him. We’ve been training since before this fight was even signed.

“All camps have highs and lows. You have to fight through adversity. With me mentally, it was a lot easier when we were having fun. It was passionate and you had people watching your every move and monitoring your every step. I’m just very grateful to all my coaches. To me, this is just a lot of fun. I haven’t had fun in a long time, to be real. I loved this training camp. It was one of my most fun ever.”

AMANDA SERRANO

“I want to thank Jake for putting his faith in me and pushing to get me on this card. This is going to be two champions going at each other and leaving it all in the ring.

“These belts are my babies. It’s going to be very hard for her to beat me and take these back to Mexico. She’s going home empty-handed. I thank Mercado for taking the fight, but she’s not winning.

“I train and fight to be the best in the world. I hope that people can acknowledge that the women are champions as well and that we work as hard as the men. I’m showing everyone that women’s boxing is great too.”

YAMILETH MERCADO

“I’m coming up in weight, but I’m one of the biggest fighters at 122. I’m not worried at all about going up a division for this fight.

“I’m very well prepared and I feel strong. I’m confident that I’m going to win on Sunday and prove that I’m up to the challenge. We’re going to surprise a lot of people.”

DANIEL DUBOIS

“This is my U.S. debut, so I want to look good and win in devastating fashion. I’m a seek and destroy fighter and that’s what I’m bringing again.

“This guy is right for me and I’m ready for the fight. It’s going to be a spectacular debut and I’m going to announce my presence with a lot of power and skill.”

JUISEPPE ANGELO CUSUMANO

“We are both big power punchers and we’re exciting fighters. We like to fight and bang on the inside. There’s going to be a lot of punches thrown for as long as this lasts . That’s what we’re going to come out and do.

“It’s the heavyweight division. It only takes one punch. That’s what people love about this division. I can’t wait to get in the ring on Sunday night.”

IVAN BARANCHYK

“I’m excited to be here and fighting on this show. I learned a lot from my last fight. I put in a great training camp so that I can show my new weapons. I just need to take everything from my training camp and bring it into the ring.

“I think Jake Paul is very, very good for boxing. It’s good to have these famous guys join professional boxing because it helps the fighters. It’s good for promoting the sport. I don’t know what will happen in the fight on Sunday night. Jake Paul is young and he’s hungry. But Tyron Woodley is a tough guy. He’s a professional fighter and we will see.”

MONTANA LOVE

“A win is going to put the whole division on notice. They know I’m coming. I’ve worked with plenty of champions and been in plenty of camps. Now, everybody watching is going to see what I’m going to do.

“This fight means everything for my career. I’m introducing myself to the 140-pound division with my fight on Sunday. Beating an ex-champion will definitely put me in a whole new category.

“My city is behind me 100%. They know how I’m coming. We’re training hard and we’re excited for this. All of Jake’s fans are going to be my fans after Sunday.”

“Gervonta Davis came up to my weight. He got a title. Congratulations on that. Now, if he’s ready to keep it or not, that’s on him. But if he does keep it, we want the fight.”

TOMMY FURY

“I’m very happy to be in Cleveland and performing for everyone. Everyone is very familiar with Tyson, and they’re about to learn all about what I bring. I’m coming with my own package and my own game and you’re going to see that on Sunday night.

“If Taylor thinks I’ve overlooked him, he’s dead wrong. I’ve been grueling for eight weeks like I’m fighting for the world titles. Sunday night, I’ll get the job done, and then I can think about what could be next for me.

“Anthony Taylor can’t get off his phone and stop doing autographs. I haven’t been on my phone in five weeks. I’ve been living and training like a demon. I don’t care about fame, and I don’t care about money. All I want is to be a world champion.”

ANTHONY TAYLOR

“I know he’s overlooking me. Tommy is here just to face off with Jake Paul. But I’m here to fight. Don’t look down on me. Just because he beat up six bums, doesn’t mean he’s going to beat me up.

“He’s not going to stop me. He’s fought nobody. I’m not that guy you’re just going to run through. We’re not cut from the same cloth, and he’s not the same as his brother. He’s not ready for me.”

CHARLES CONWELL

“It’s amazing to fight back at home in my city. I’ve had a lot of local support back here throughout the years and there are a lot of people here who haven’t been able to see me fight.

“To have all the support I’ve gotten leading up to fight, I’m just more ready than ever to put on a show and let everyone know what I’m about.”

JUAN CARLOS RUBIO

“It’s true that I haven’t fought anyone on Charles’ level, but I feel strong, I’m well prepared and I’m ready to give a show to the people of Cleveland.

“We’re going to see if he’s ready for the next level of competition. We won’t know until we step in the ring. But I’m definitely going to give it my all and give him a test.”

STEPHEN ESPINOZA, President, Sports & Event Programming, Showtime Networks Inc.

“SHOWTIME has been in boxing a long time. We have a long history in the sport. But the thing about boxing is that it always has a way of surprising you. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, along comes someone like Jake Paul to upset the apple cart. I’m excited to see the sport innovate, change and evolve.

“I’m very proud of this card. We have some of the best fighters in the world on this card, from world champions to up-and-coming fighters and promising prospects. This card has a bit of everything.

“This card is filled with fighters who didn’t listen when they were told no. No one on this card has been handed anything. They’ve all beaten the odds. I’m proud to have every one of them on this card.

“The great thing about boxing is that on some level, nothing matters until you get into the ring. To borrow a phrase, ‘boxing don’t lie. Boxing is the ultimate truth-teller. When Sunday night rolls around, your resume and your following don’t matter. For all the hype and hoopla, make no mistake, these are fights. The purest form of competition. The great thing about boxing is, when two competitors enter that ring, each fighter gets a chance to rewrite their own history. It all comes down to that moment of truth on Sunday night.”

(Featured Photo: Amanda Westcott/Showtime)

#HF #Jake Paul #Tyron Woodley #Amanda Serrano #Showtime Boxing

[your-dietician]

From Depressed to Living a Happy Life: Ciera's Story

New Post has been published on https://depression-md.com/from-depressed-to-living-a-happy-life-cieras-story/

From Depressed to Living a Happy Life: Ciera's Story

Comments: 0 | June 13th, 2019

Dr. Hotze and his special guest, Ciera Kizerian, discuss her journey from depression to living a happy life again. After her first child was born, Ciera experienced severe depression and intense self-loathing. Thanks to the staff at Hotze Health & Wellness Center, Ciera is now living a healthy, vibrant, productive life with her husband and 3 children, while helping others through her podcast called Light Through the Dark.

Podcast Transcription:

Stacey: Welcome to Dr. Hotze’s Wellness Revolution. I’m Stacey Bandfield here with Dr. Steven Hotze, founder of the Hotze Health & Wellness Center. As always, you can find our podcasts on hotzehwc.com. That’s H-O-T-Z-E-H-W-C.com.

Stacey: We have a really great inspirational story for you today. One of our guests, Ciera, is going to be talking about how she was pretty much at the very bottom and how she climbed her way back up to the top, and how she is helping other people find their way, as well. Here is Dr. Hotze and Ciera.

Dr. Hotze: Thank you, Stacey, and thank each one of you for joining us today on Dr. Hotze’s Wellness Revolution. You know, I believe that you and everybody needs a doctor and a staff of professionals who can coach you on the path of health and wellness naturally, so that you have a life-changing transforming health experience here at the Hotze Health & Wellness Center. That’s what we offer.

And the reason we do this is because we believe that as you age, you ought to be full of energy. You ought to have vitality in your life and be brimming with enthusiasm, no matter if you’re 30 or 70 or 80. You ought to have those qualities – energy, vitality, and enthusiasm. And so we do that here at the Hotze Health & Wellness Center. We help get you on that path. We coach you onto the path of health and wellness so you could have that life-changing experience, because my philosophy is this: I believe if you’re alive, you ought to feel alive, right? Why be part of the walking-wounded or half-dead? Enjoy life, be full of energy, and that’s what we help you do here at the Hotze Health & Wellness Center.

And I want to give you a great example of that. Most people think, “Well, you know, people don’t really start having problems until they get older and I don’t need to do anything about my problems. I’m young now. I’m 30 or 40 or 50, and I’ll wait until I have some problems.” An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That’s an old adage, thousands of years old. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

We have with us today a guest of ours who’s been a guest since 2017, Ciera Kizerian. Ciera is a, what, 27-year-old woman?

Ciera Kizerian: How old am I? I’m 28 now.

Dr. Hotze: 8, a young…

Ciera Kizerian: I shouldn’t…

Dr. Hotze: …woman. 28-years-old, came to see us when she was 26. So, Ciera, welcome to the program. Glad to have you…

Ciera Kizerian: Thank you.

Dr. Hotze: …on board here, dear.

Ciera Kizerian: Happy to be here.

Dr. Hotze: Glad to have you here. And you have such a wonderful and remarkable story. Why don’t you start and tell us where you’re from, where you grew up? Where are you from?

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah, I grew up in Dallas, Texas, and…

Dr. Hotze: That’s near Fort Worth, isn’t it?

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah.

Dr. Hotze: I like to tell Dallas people that.

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah.

Dr. Hotze: So you grew up in Dallas. And how did you end up down here in Houston?

Ciera Kizerian: My husband’s work brought us down here a couple of years ago.

Dr. Hotze: Okay. Now did you go off to school? You go to college?

Ciera Kizerian: I did, yeah. My husband and I met at Brigham Young University.

Dr. Hotze: Oh, that’s wonderful.

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah!

Dr. Hotze: I just came back, yesterday, from Salt Lake City.

Ciera Kizerian: Oh, awesome.

Dr. Hotze: Isn’t that great?

Ciera Kizerian: It’s beautiful.

Dr. Hotze: And I went up to…we went and saw the Salt Lake Tabernacle, where the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sang.

Ciera Kizerian: Yes. They are so talented.

Dr. Hotze: Yeah, and that was built in 1868, and it is…man, the acoustics in there are just…

Ciera Kizerian: Incredible.

Dr. Hotze: …phenomenal. And of course, the temple was across the street, and it was wonderful. It was a wonderful time, and Utah’s a…

Ciera Kizerian: Oh…

Dr. Hotze: …beautiful, beautiful state, and all around Salt Lake City, the mountains that are still covered with snow…

Ciera Kizerian: Oh…

Dr. Hotze: It was wonderful.

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah, I love…

Dr. Hotze: And the flowers?

Ciera Kizerian: …Utah.

Dr. Hotze: Oh my goodness. Just incredible. So anyway, you went to Brigham Young, and then what kind of work is your husband in?

Ciera Kizerian: He is an entrepreneur. We call ourselves “serial entrepreneurs.”

Dr. Hotze: Well, what is he doing right now? What kind of work is he doing?

Ciera Kizerian: So we both, actually, are working on a project called “Light Through the Dark,” and it’s to help people that are dealing with anxiety and depression know how to come out of it and get the resources they need to get better. And then also it helps those who are the support system for those struggling to know what to do to help the person, and have it not be damaging, but to be helpful. So we’re building…I don’t know what you’d call it, an effort, right now, to try to help people dealing with that.

Dr. Hotze: That’s wonderful. And this, really, is an outshoot of what happened to you, in your life, and your coming through Hotze Health & Wellness Center. So tell us, you have three children now, right?

Ciera Kizerian: As of one month ago, I have three children, yes.

Dr. Hotze: That’s great. So tell us what your health experience was like growing up. Did you have health problems?

Ciera Kizerian: No. I mean, not any mental health problems at all. I had asthma growing up, but other than that, mentally, I’ve always been described as someone that was optimistic and happy, a go-getter. I definitely ran at a hundred-plus speed every day, and would…

Dr. Hotze: You were a live wire.

Ciera Kizerian: …be myself, yes. Live wire, exactly.

Dr. Hotze: And so when did that change?

Ciera Kizerian: So after my daughter was born in 2014, about six weeks later, I noticed that I just started feeling this oppressive heaviness. I had a really good relationship with my husband, but he said to me, “I literally can’t do anything right around you right now.” And I was like…

Dr. Hotze: Any guy ever felt that way before, huh?

Ciera Kizerian: And that keyed me in of, “Oh, you’re right, something’s off right now.” I was getting really irritable, I was starting to have a lot of brain fog. I just didn’t feel myself. And then I started having all these crazy symptoms and realized that I was developing depression really bad. And this wasn’t something I’d ever experienced beforehand. Again, these…

Dr. Hotze: And then you were how old? It was five years ago, so…

Ciera Kizerian: 24. I was 24.

Dr. Hotze: 24, okay.

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah, and…

Dr. Hotze: So what did you do about it?

Ciera Kizerian: So I went and talked to my OB at six weeks, and they put me on some antidepressants, and they said, “Oh, but it’ll take a while for it to kick in.” So that was a really hard winter. Everything was just so new to me, all these emotions, all these feelings that I never experienced before. And it was just a really, really dark and hard place for me.

It took a while for the medicine to kick in, and then I felt kind of felt up, not totally like I had before, but well enough where I was able to function. And then, a year later, it just flipped a switch, and, when I started my cycle again for the first time after having my daughter, and I hit a low that I didn’t know was possible.

And that’s when I first experienced suicidal ideation, and where I started just feeling like everyone would be better off without me. And really had intense self-loathing, which I had never, ever, ever experienced. And I couldn’t interact with anyone. If I went out, if I went to church, or wherever I was going, it was like I was watching the clock the entire time to be able to just leave, and escape, and go back to my closet where I could just get in that hole and just want to just be done with everything. It was not me at all. And it was very hard, and…

Dr. Hotze: And you were taking medication, antidepressant medication at that time, right?

Ciera Kizerian: Yup. And I saw a psychiatrist, and I got even more medication. They upped it to the highest amount that I could be on for the antidepressants. I got put on antipsychotic medication three times a day, anti-anxiety medication three times a day, and even with that, was still having these battles with…

Dr. Hotze: Does this sound familiar?

Ciera Kizerian: …fighting suicide.

Dr. Hotze: I have heard this story…if I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it thousands of times. Now, the conventional doctors take an individual like Ciera, and I’m sure they did blood work on you before they started this, and said, “Well, your blood work’s normal,” right?

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah.

Dr. Hotze: “Your blood work’s normal, so you must be depressed.” You are, and they put her on all these antidepressant medications, anti-anxiety medication, antipsychotic medication, and you didn’t get better, and they kept bumping it up.

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah.

Dr. Hotze: Frankly, I just think that’s criminal. And these ought to be banned, and these doctors should be reported to the medical board, and their license should be removed, because they destroy people’s lives. I feel really strongly about this. I’ve seen so many people like Ciera, and we’re not going to talk about what happened.

And this is so simple to resolve. I’ve written books about it. You know, all these psychiatrists ought to read my books, and figure out what to do to help women when they start coming in…and men, too, when they begin to have these sort of problems.

So you ended up having another baby. Were you on antidepressants at the time when you did?

Ciera Kizerian: No, so that’s my miracle baby. I was on all that medication starting in two thousand and…

Dr. Hotze: Fourteen.

Ciera Kizerian: Well, the antidepressants, but then when I saw…that was what the OB put me on.

Dr. Hotze: Right.

Ciera Kizerian: Then the psychiatrist on all the other stuff in…it was three years ago, so 2016. Like, May 2016. So then I came to the Hotze Health & Wellness Center in May 2017, and did the yeast-free diet, and was feeling really good, and started coming off of the…not everything, because I wanted to have another baby, but again, there’s no way I could’ve.

Dr. Hotze: Before you come…I’m looking right here. It’s your first appointment, and we have the reasons for the appointment: “anxiety, panic attacks, low moods. Wants to be able to get off the medication, have another baby, low energy, brain fog, lightheadedness, hoarseness, severe constipation.” These are some classical features that we see in people that have hypothyroidism. Were you having difficulty with weight, too?

Ciera Kizerian: t that point, I was so depressed I just wasn’t eating, really, at all. And so my mother-…

Dr. Hotze: You did…

Ciera Kizerian: …in-law came out just to see me, ’cause she said, “Ciera, you are getting way too thin, and we’re going to lose you.”

Dr. Hotze: But you had problems, then, with brain fog, with poor sleep, and…

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah, I mean, I never had my phone on me. My grandparents were calling my parents and saying, “Can you please tell Ciera to answer her phone? They were getting offended and upset with me, and it was causing family problems ’cause I could never find my phone. And I would leave my wallet and my purse just on the driveway, and I would walk into a room be like, “Why am I here?”

And I hear my grandma telling me that, “Oh, I’m just…I forget my purse everywhere.” I’m like, “Yeah, I’m right there with you, grandma.” Except we have a big age gap, and I shouldn’t be feeling like a grandma in my mid-twenties. Nuts, and…

Dr. Hotze: So you came into the Health & Wellness Center..  How did you find out about us, by the way?

Ciera Kizerian: A friend referred me, and told me. Actually, she told me about it in the fall, but I was just too bad to really help myself, and she then told my husband about six months later, and he’s the one that got the ball…

Dr. Hotze: Encouraged you to get here, right.

Ciera Kizerian: …and helped me come here, yeah.

Dr. Hotze: So when you came in, you saw Dr. Ellsworth, and he put you on the yeast-free eating program, and he put you on some thyroid medication. He also gave you some natural female hormones, progesterone, to help you with your menstrual cycles, because it was obvious that your problems were hormonal, because it happened after childbirth.

This is not uncommon at all. A woman will feel fine, have her first baby, and then all of a sudden they crash, and their hormones don’t kick back in right. Remember, during pregnancy, the hormones that a woman has in her body are made by the placenta, which belongs to the baby. And so, when the baby’s delivered, and the placenta follows, there’s a dramatic fall in the naturally-occurring hormones of pregnancy, and her ovaries have been shut off, and they have to turn back on.

And if they don’t turn back on right, and she doesn’t have adequate amount of female hormones, and they don’t balance out, she’s going to have a host of symptoms. I mean, there are all these symptoms that we talked about. The fatigue, low body temperature, can’t think clearly, poor sleep, constipation…Oftentimes women have problems with weight gain. She didn’t because she was so depressed she didn’t even want to eat, and if you don’t eat, you’re not going to gain weight, obviously. So what happens to these women, then they end up going to see your conventional doctor, like Ciera did, and what do they do? Immediately slap them on some SSRI antidepressant. That’s a…SSRI is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. It inhibits the uptake, in your brain, of a neurotransmitter called serotonin.

Well, guess what? And this was Lexapro you were on, but there are other SSRI antidepressants, like Prozac and Effexor and Paxil, just to name a few, Cymbalta and others. And these are all SSRI, or they’re reuptake inhibitors, with the idea that if we don’t let the body reuptake the serotonin in the brain, and it just floats around, you’re going to feel better, which is not the case.

The case, in your case, in fact, it made you worse, and they gave you more drugs. And you just got drugged up, and what it does is it flattens the entire affect. It takes away who you are so you don’t have any feelings anymore. You don’t feel sad, you don’t feel good, you don’t cry…

Ciera Kizerian: Apathetic.

Dr. Hotze: You’re apathetic about life.

Ciera Kizerian: Numbness, you feel this…

Dr. Hotze: Right.

Ciera Kizerian: …total numbness. Like, I would love to feel happy right now, I would love to just feel anything right now, but you just feel empty inside.

Dr. Hotze: The SSRI antidepressants are a knock off of cocaine. Cocaine is a reuptake inhibitor. It blocks the reuptake of serotonin and of dopamine. It’s a neurotransmitter reuptake inhibitor. If you look at the molecular structure of the SSRI antidepressants, they’re almost identical to cocaine. They’re highly addictive, it’s hard to get off of them, there are terrible withdrawal symptoms, and it’s a way, basically, that drug companies get people to be addicts and take the drugs the rest of their lives.

Nobody has depression because they have low levels of antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication in their body. Nobody. If you’re having problems with moods that are roller coaster moods, they’re up and down, or you’re depressed, or you’re having anxiety attacks or panic attacks, that’s not caused because you lacked some pharmaceutical drug. It is primarily going to be a result, and almost 90% of the cases, it’s going to be a result of hormone decline and imbalance, which can be easily corrected.

So I know that Dr. Ellsworth put you on some thyroid medication, right? He put you on some female hormones, natural progesterone, got you eating right, put you on some vitamins and minerals. And how long did it take you to begin to notice any difference?

Ciera Kizerian: Oh, I wanted to cry when I started feeling…it was, I think, within two weeks of taking those that I was feeling up and feeling myself. I was able to…I’m a photographer, and I was able to go on a trip by myself for a photo shoot in Greece. Just, like, in August of that year, which…

Dr. Hotze: And you came in when?

Ciera Kizerian: In May. So within…

Dr. Hotze: So within two or three months, you were…

Ciera Kizerian: I was able to…whereas before, I’m stuck in my closet, I can’t interact with anyone. Within a couple months, I’m getting on a place by myself, I’m flying across the ocean first time by myself. I’m exploring Greece. Like, wow, that’s a huge difference…

Dr. Hotze: Sure.

Ciera Kizerian: And I remember, when I was there in Greece, I was on this catamaran, and we’re snorkeling, and I was swimming, and I was in the ocean, and I remember just having the water flow through my hair, and I just thanked God that I could enjoy life again. It was a moment for me where I was like, “Wow, this is worth living. I don’t feel what I’ve felt for years of just wanting to be gone, because it was just too painful to be alive.”

Where, with depression, when you have really severe depression, you feel so low that death seems up, it seems like a welcomed option because of how horrible you feel. And for me to be there, and to just love that moment, and love how I felt, it was priceless.

Dr. Hotze: That’s wonderful.

Ciera Kizerian: Thanks.

Dr. Hotze: A wonderful story, all that.  So how long did it take you to get off the antidepressants?

Ciera Kizerian: So I am…I started trying to get off November of 2017, and it took me about three months. Dr. Ellsworth was really good at helping me get off of it, and helping me to understand the withdrawal symptoms, and that whole process. And helped me find this great book that he recommended, “The Antidepressant Solution.”

Dr. Hotze: …Solution.”

Ciera Kizerian: Wow, that book is…I’m like, “This is the bible for anyone that has been on antidepressants.”

Dr. Hotze: It’s by Dr. Glenmullen, “The…

Ciera Kizerian: Incredible.

Dr. Hotze: …Antidepressant Solution.”

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah, that really helped me a lot, to just know what I was coming up against, and what to expect, and how to come down, and I had to come down really slowly. But I had this goal of, “I want to have another baby.” I just, when we first got married, I was like, “We’re having six kids. Here we go.” But once this depression kicked in, it really changed a lot of things in our life of what reality would actually look like.

But I did still want to have one more. And so we came…about three months, the withdrawal reactions were miserable, like you said, and I was coming down so slowly. It was a really rough time for our family, trying to go through that, but then I was able to get off of it in, probably March, I was totally done with them, and it had been…

Dr. Hotze: March of ’18.

Ciera Kizerian: …some time. March, 2018.

Dr. Hotze: Right.

Ciera Kizerian: And then I got pregnant in July of 2018, which is like nothing short of a miracle. I had been looking into adoption and all these other things of how I could somehow still have this baby, knowing I might never be able to get off this medication. I might not ever be able to feel better, like way before, but then coming here and then learning about all this stuff, it made me feel like I could not only come off of it, but be able to be a good mom, which is not what I had felt beforehand, at all.

Dr. Hotze: Well, this is really, really remarkable. And wonderful. And first, I want to congratulate you for doing a 180 and taking charge of your health, and not just resigning yourself to being on drugs the rest of your life. And you can imagine what that would’ve done for your husband. I know you’re a woman of faith, and your husband is, too, and thank God, it’s to your husband’s credit that he stood by you.

Ciera Kizerian: Oh, he has said, and I have said, this could have resulted, for so many people, in divorces…

Dr. Hotze: In divorce. Oh, this happens all the time.

Ciera Kizerian: …or your kids having a lot of issues with you long-term. All these things, like…I’m so grateful that we had fought for me, because if we had just said, “This is just our new normal, this is just how things are going to be,” we never would have tried to get in that hustle and literally fight. And it was a fight every day, because you have to fight to eat the right way, you have to fight to make the changes that are needed.

And I talked to him, and now with the Light Through the Dark stuff, and talked to people now that are like, “Yeah, my kids don’t have a good relationship with me, and our family is estranged, because when they were younger I dealt with these things, and I never addressed it. And I thought that this was just my normal, and just accepted that this is my MO for life.”

Or they get divorces. I have another friend who, he’s like, “I didn’t realize I was dealing with depression and anxiety all these years.” And yet he would have these big blowups with his spouse, and she’s couldn’t…she was like, “I don’t want my kids in that environment.” Really, it was he needed more support and more help with his mental health to be able to not have these triggers set off the irritability, and the panic.

Dr. Hotze: And so this is…your new business venture is entitled what?

Ciera Kizerian: Light Through the Dark.

Dr. Hotze: Light Through the Dark. And so how can somebody look at the podcast that you’re doing, and the YouTube videos, how do they do that?

Ciera Kizerian: You can just look up “Light Through the Dark” on YouTube, or whatever. And the main goal of it is really…

Dr. Hotze: So type in YouTube, ‘light through the dark.’ And how about on podcasts, what do they do?

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah, same thing. It’s called Light Through the Dark.

Dr. Hotze: Light Through the Dark on a podcast, and you can hear Ciera, she talks about these various issues that people have with mental depression, and anxiety, and panic attacks, and these things that are affecting them…she helps individuals that are having those problems. And then she interviews other people that have had problems, and as a matter of fact, we’re going to do an interview…later today, I’m going to do a podcast for Ciera, and we’ll talk about these things. Well, Ciera, this is a wonderful story…

Ciera Kizerian: Thank you.

Dr. Hotze: Now let me ask you, on a scale of zero to ten, ten being “brimming with energy,” when you first came in, what was your energy level?

Ciera Kizerian: Oh! Zero? Like, I just…I had no energy.

Dr. Hotze: At 26 years old. No energy.

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah, no, I’d wake up and feel exhausted, and I would be so tired I needed to take a nap, but I knew that if I, for whatever reason, I’d wake up and just have gripping anxiety. So bad it felt like someone had chains and cords around me, and I would just be stuck in that anxiety for at least an hour, where I couldn’t get up, because it was so gripping and so bad. And couldn’t talk to anyone, couldn’t reach out and be like, “Help me get out of bed.” And then, it was just multiple naps during the day. Never feeling…

Dr. Hotze: So…

Ciera Kizerian: Yeah.

Dr. Hotze: How would you describe your energy level now, your overall moods, on a scale of zero to ten? Now you just had a baby, here, six weeks ago, didn’t you?

Ciera Kizerian: I just had a baby, and I mean, I need a nap a day, but sometimes…and that’s usually because I stayed up too late watching Netflix with my husband and then was up with the baby again in the night, but on the days when I’m not watching a show, it’s not anything outside of what I felt as a teenager. Or, actually, I feel like I feel better. I keep telling everyone, like, “Wow, I feel like I should be having a much harder time with having a newborn than I actually am,” but I actually do have a lot more energy right now than I did with everything before…even though I should not have as much, having a newborn.

Dr. Hotze: Right.

Ciera Kizerian: I don’t know if that’s making sense, but…

Dr. Hotze: And I know this is important, and I talked to you about it, and I asked you if you had started on progesterone, and you just started on it yesterday. This is six weeks after the birth. If I had of known about you having…that you’re pregnant, I would have made sure, like I did with my five daughters, the day after they had their baby, they were on progesterone. And none of our daughters, out of our five daughters and we have 23 grandkids, none of them even had the baby blues. They never had any depression.

But that’s because progesterone levels dropped dramatically. They’re very, very high at the end of pregnancy. The placenta makes huge amounts of progesterone, they’re many times what you would normally experience. And when the placenta’s delivered, there’s a precipitous drop in progesterone, and that’s what leads to the problems with depression.

Also, low thyroid can lead to the problem with depression, also. Thyroid can be adversely affected when the hormones fall, that puts you in a state of estrogen dominance, and that adversely affects the thyroid, so now that we have you on progesterone, you’re going to be feeling back, just on top of your game again.

Ciera Kizerian: Well, I’m really grateful that this pregnancy, I had the bioidentical hormone therapy, because as soon as I found out I was pregnant, that morning I called the nurses here, and they said, “Okay, well, let’s have you have this much progesterone, so we can protect the pregnancy.”

Dr. Hotze: Right.

Ciera Kizerian: And went through that until I was, like, 14 weeks pregnant. And that was really helpful for me, because I had had miscarriages before, and obviously had worked so hard to get pregnant…

Dr. Hotze: How many miscarriages had you had?

Ciera Kizerian: Sorry, I had had one before my daughter. And my mom had a history of miscarriages, and…

Dr. Hotze: Which is a classical feature of hypothyroidism. Infertility and miscarriages are classical features of low thyroid that doesn’t show up in your blood. It’s not how much thyroid you have in your blood, it’s how much thyroid you have in your cells, and that can only be diagnosed by a clinical history.

So I believe that everybody that has the clinical symptoms of hypothyroidism, no matter what their blood test shows, deserves a therapeutic trial of thyroid hormones to see how they do. And it usually does remarkable for them.

Well, Ciera, congratulations on your success, and I wish you every success as you work on Light Through the Dark, this effort to help individuals overcome their depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. Thank you for joining us, and…

Ciera Kizerian: Thank you.

Dr. Hotze: Thank each one of you for joining us today, on Dr. Hotze’s Wellness Revolution. You remember, this is what I believe. I believe that while liberals are getting high, conservatives should get healthy so we can make America great again. If you want to get yourself on a path to health and wellness, if you’ve experienced symptoms that Ciera has , if you’re a young woman, you don’t have to wait till you’re 50 to come in and suffer on antidepressants on 20 to 30 years in your life, you can get yourself on a path to health and wellness now, by taking charge of your life, doing a 180.

Dr. Hotze: Give us a call at Hotze Health & Wellness Center at  [phone], and we’ll be glad to set up a complimentary consultation for you, and partner with you so that you can get you on a path to health and wellness and help you have a life-changing health transformation, so you have energy, you have vitality, and you have enthusiasm again for your life.

Thanks for joining us today. God bless you.

We Can Help

Can you relate to Ciera’s experience? Take our symptom checker to find out if your symtpoms could be caused by hormone decline and imbalance.

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