#fighting borderline

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i push away the people i want the most in my life and i tell myself that it's because i need to learn to live w/out attachments. but deep inside, all i want is for someone to resist my efforts at pushing them away and tell me i am worth holding on to even when i’m acting like a child

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #all i want is for someone to truly care and WANT to fight to keep me in their life #all i want is to feel loved #n ​loved for the fucked up parts of me #all i want is true unconditional love

[silverwhittlingknife]

good coping mechanisms [not pictured]

nightwing 116 & red robin 12

#is it self-sacrifice or self-destruction? why not both #dick grayson #tim drake #i think tim's red robin fight is probably better known bc dick fans tend to focus on the angst at the beginning of the renegade arc #instead of the angst at the end of the renegade arc #HOWEVER at the end of the renegade arc blüdhaven is exploding #and dick - who's been extremely down on himself and convinced that maybe he's kind of a bad guy - #gets a brief new lease on life by being highly-motivated to charge into the exploding city with a borderline suicidal plan #which very predictably ends in him charging into an explosion and passing out and getting rescued by batman #(bruce is then a jerk about it but never mind that for the sake of the parallel) #and so dick spends his whole charge-into-the-city-on-fire soliloquy thinking about how he's gonna do things RIGHT now #and he's BETTER now - no more shades of gray!! only black and white!!! #and on the one hand this is clearly genuinely felt and it's a huge relief for him to be able to see himself as a hero again #but it's hard to miss that. like. the actual plan that he has. #involves putting himself in extreme danger with no backup and probably dying #and there's a strong implication that maybe to dick that part is a feature and not a bug

[youngyoo-apologist]

Choi Han and OG Cale try not to fight each other for five minutes challenge level impossible

#they’re so silly #I think it would be rlly funny if Choi Han makes big ass snow balls to throw at Cale just to be a menace #this is technically a segment from [In the Borderline] but out of context it’d be silly in a modern au too #frenemies for real #I think it’s so funny that around eachother OG ChoiCale get into petty fights over silly things #tcf #lcf #lcf fanfic #tcf fanfic #og choicale #og cale henituse

[moonlit-dreamers]

im both sorry and also not for making this

#birdcage scribbles #sundrop #moondrop #fnaf sundrop #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf moondrop #moondrop fnaf #moon fnaf #sun x moon #sundrop x moondrop #celestial boyfriends #sunxmoon #npd sun #bpd moon #these bitches WILL be popping up on my page #ur NOT safe from my propaganda #i WILL be spreading npd and bpd rep/positivity by making these bitches exist #then give them a healthy relationship bc yes narcissists and borderlines can have healthy relationships #u cant fucking fight me #npd #bpd

[aueua]

a door (noun) is a hinged, sliding, or revolving barrier at the—

#[art #.jpeg] #[2022.zip] #eyestrain #body horror #roblox doors #<- you are getting NO further tags than that #i don't know why i drew any of them like that. i'll figure out the direction i want to go with them another day #fighting for my life in the borderline of being desensitized and sensitized while looking at references #head in hands. OK! i am exiting STAGE RIGHT

[moonlit-positivity]

What Does PTSD Hypervigilance Look Like?

Tw: activating language, body triggers, nervous system dysregulation, & fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses listed below. Please read with care.

Constantly checking outside by slightly peeking out the hole in the blinds so no one knows youre looking out the window

Listening & memorizing footstep patterns of those who live with you

Memorizing schedules & when people leave the house to know when you can move through the house alone

Tip-toeing or walking in a certain way to make your steps have less noise

Holding your breath or controlling your breathing to make as little noise as possible

Being extra aware of how everything is laid out on the table, where every single item in the pantry, fridge, etc is so when you take something you can put it back undisturbed

Eating food or taking things out of the fridge in a way that makes it seem like you never took anything out

Being constantly aware of how loud your own body is (ie chewing too loud, breathing too loud, walking too loud, not laughing, not crying, mastering the art of being silent)

Making sure the TV was on the same channel/app it was before you turned it on (this one's for us older gens, before we had these smart TVs there was a time when analog TV left a trail of previously watched channels so you'd have to wipe the remote clean before you got caught)

Erasing texts

Having people stored in your phone under false contacts bc your parents/abusers/etc would search your phone

Not able to keep personal photos on your phone for same reasons

Not being able to keep things in your room bc your parents would search your room

Not being able to keep things hidden in your backpack either for the same reasons

Keeping everything hidden at school or asking someone else's to keep them

Not able to keep a diary or journal bc someone would read it even if you asked them not to they wouldn't care and read it anyway

Not having a door on your room or having the door removed

Being told you have no privacy because you "belong" to them

Erasing your tracks with everything you do

Listening for car noises, car door slams, and memorizing the way the engine sounds so you can instantly hear when people get home

Memorizing car sounds or always looking out the window to see if someone has pulled up

Checking every house window in your field of view every second of the day

Constantly watching the front door even though it's closed and locked

Constantly watching your room door

Not being comfortable with things out of your line of sight

Constantly having the TV silent or low volume so you don't make too much noise & also so you can hear better

Memorizing daily life schedules, like when your housemates eat, use the bathroom, get up & walk around so you can be constantly aware of everyone at all times

Not making direct eye contact out of fear that it will spark a conflict

Being constantly aware of tone of voice, inflection, etc in case they're going to verbally abuse or degrade you or humiliate you

Being hyper aware of someone entering your personal space

Flinching

Flinching when someone walks by you

Flinching when someone reaches over you

Flinching when anticipating to get hit

Freezing & paralysis anytime something goes off pattern

Never being able to tell tone over text/ always needing to clarify if someone is mad at you

Not being able to physically get up and walk around the house unless you know you're in a safe position to do so

Not being able to physically get up to use the bathroom unless you're in a position to know it's safe to move around the house undetected

Waiting until everyone goes to bed in order to move around the house or relax

Holding your breath & tensing your muscles

Dissociation & brain fogs

Agoraphobia

Fear of being perceived

Fear of being abandoned

Fear of being seen

Fear of being judged

Fear of being hit

Fear of being alive

Fear of failing

Fear of being alone

Fear of not being good enough

Fawning

Grovelling

People pleasing

Staying silent because it will be less likely to cause a conflict

Hiding your emotions & masking

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #trauma awareness #effects of abuse #hypervigilance #nervous system #fight flight #freeze response #fight flight freeze fawn #codependency #child abuse #abusive parents #toxic parenting #bpd #actually traumatized #actually borderline #paranoia

[the-anxious-artiste]

#pride #queer #actually autistic #actually borderline #transmasc #transgender #autistic #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd #friendships #friendship #relationship #relationship anarchy #always keep fighting #dont take your friends for granted #love your friends #dont hold back due to social norms #do what feels right for you

[lotus-pear]

rewatched kny and am suffering from tanjiro trio brainrot

#i got the kny game on switch so i also decided to rewatch this show and was immediately struck on the sole fact #that zenitsu and tanjiros interactions were legit <33 #i remember watching kny for the first time and i was like wow they're platonic soulmates #but i actually ship them now🤡👍 #you could legit take two characters out of the trio and be like ''do you ship them'' and i would be like yes absolutely #because all their personalities go well together to make a wholesome and healthy dynamic #except inosuke who would constantly try to fight zenitsu but then again he tries to fight everyone so #speaking of inosuke i don't remember him being so violent🤡 #that mf literally tried to kill zenitsu and tanjiro both #bitches be like ''oh he's baby uwu'' no my man is literally fucking unhinged and this close to snapping #tanjiro's squad is peak positive male friendship borderlining on gay and honestly that's why this show is 100/10 #kimestu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #tanjiro kny #kny tanjirou #tanjiro kamado #zenitsu kny #kny zenitsu #zenitsu agatsuma #kny inosuke #inosuke kny #lotus draws

[devilatelier]

fantasy!au sessnara but sess has to rely on nara to win an extremely important duel for him.

#its funny because nara is borderline just some rogue / brigand that got ascended into knighthood because he fights well #no notion of honor so he'll cheat mid fight but get the win #and all sess cares about is winning tbh

[chirpsythismorning]

I know Mike and Will were practically glued to each others sides at the end of s4, which I do think was obviously meant to foreshadow the events to come related to byler endgame and them playing a big role in defeating vecna as a team.

However, I cannot simply let go of the angsty prospects that come with Will avoiding Mike in early s5.

Like imagine both El AND Will avoiding Mike for a little bit at the start of the season after a major event or two…

We already know why El would be ignoring him, as she was literally doing just that by the end of s4.

But Will on the other hand, I think it would take something substantial for him to go from going along with Mike’s returning clingyness, to avoiding him…

And yet, I do think a dream (nightmare) or more specifically, a vision from Vecna, could very well have Will changing his tune…

Imagine Mike confronting Will about it, coming off as hurt almost, only for Will to apologize and then try to explain he just wanted to give him and El space and not mess up stuff like he did last time…

I just… I DONT even want to imagine Mike’s reaction to finding out Will is avoiding him bc he thinks that Mike wants to be alone with El without him there at all bc of what he said at rink o mania…

Also me: *proceeds to imagine it in excruciating detail’

#byler #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #like i just imagine this conversation in my head all the time #Will pushing down everything he’s feeling bc he doesn’t want to burden the ppl he cares about #him having a vision of Mike being angry with him over the painting like borderline disgusted #and him just not even being able to look at mike after #and Mike being so confused like a lost puppy following him around #and then something happens and they get separated for an episode #then reunite #the tension is now 1.21 jiggawats through the roof atp #like they almost kiss! #and then they argue #and then they have to jump back into action again #then they almost kiss in a moment of rest and contemplation #then they jumó back into action #then they finally kiss #and the world is saved #or they kiss and have the courage to finally fight in their final battle without any qualms holding them back #and they win! #the end #gay people were real all along

[brittlebutch]

finding a character that grates against your nerves and eventually thinking, well, that's not fair, you haven't done anything; why do i dislike you? and then you dwell on this for a while and discover 'oh! you are like me when i was younger' and decide well, i'll simply learn how to love the both of you. power in this.

#N posts stuff #'what are you talking about?' fuck if i know. #but also i'm talking about penny from 'the 7' -- nosy little control freak determined to find Some foothold into Every conversation #it's interesting bc sometimes when i watch i'm like 'this character is played on the Border of metagaming' but the more i think abuot it #the less it Feels like metagaming bc penny Genuinely seems Exactly like the kind of person who just Is That Determined to be #some level of involved in Every situation; 'yeah i know that show you were in' 'Yeah i was listening into this scene from a different hall' #equal parts her being a Rogue character to her core AND her borderline pathological need for control in Every situation #w/ None of the social grace needed to temper this impulse into something more broadly 'palatable' -> very autistic to me in a way #'i don't Get It but if i'm Always Right then that's good bc it's Bad to be Wrong so i just have to Know Everything so that i'm Never Wrong' #or like 'no i don't understand the Rules right but if i can just Be In Charge of the Situation at all times then i'm the one domineering #where this is going and how it unfolds; like if i'm in charge i understand That at least so i will just Always be in charge' #and sometimes this starts fights with your friends and they call you a freak for it and you're like 'hm. i don't know what's going on #but if You said it and You Get People then you must be right so. i will alter this immediately' but penny doesn't have that interaction #because her friends are just like 'yeah i love you And that batshit way of interacting with the world that you embody' and there is a #temptation of sorts to be like 'penny you HAVE to stop that; you NEED to learn that lesson please' but then like. hm. does she? #much to think about. i don't interact w/ people enough anymore for this to impact my interactions with real people lol #but it Is interesting to peel apart a fictional character and find a Younger You in there. i can change how i think about Them at least

[honeypleasejustkillme]

stg.. i’m a dummy

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #actually borderline #bpd vent #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #bpd shitposting #bpd problems #i’m lovesick #all i want is for someone to truly care and want to fight to keep me in their life #but all i do is go to work and come home

[welcometogrouchland]

Steph on a desperate quest to get Damian to unwillingly incorporate informal gotham-isms into his speech by using "jabroni" in every other sentence

#ramblings of a lunatic #dc #steph: it's subliminal messaging #tim: i think with your goal in mind it's legally classified as psychological warfare #damian is in the middle of a dramatic monologue to a villain who's tried to hurt innocents and/or his family and it's borderline Shakespear #right up until the end where he says ''you craven feeble jabroni'' and he full on paralyzes in horror at what's become of him #it's so bad he can't even finish the fight. bruce has to step in and give the final blow and takes Stephanie aside after the case is closed #bruce in his 'about to fire you in the most emotionally insensitive way possible' voice: stephanie. what did you do #stephanie: my best. and it payed off #stephanie brown #damian wayne #i selected jabroni as the word bc of pure whimsy reasons #I'm open to suggestions on what would be more accurate to greater northern new jersey where gotham is allegedly located

[bpdohwhatajoy]

Me: I want people to be nice to me:(

Me the second someone is genuine towards me: agh okay this feels wrong pack it up

#ryan.txt #bpd #borderline personality disorder #cptsd #ptsd #trauma #traumatized #you know you’re trauamtized when people being nice to you activates your fight or flight #I think that’s what’s going on idk

[dailykugisaki]

Day eighty-two | id in alt

Fresh from the juvenile facility to make more juvenile mistakes.

Kugisaki will tell Shoko that she just messed up, an accident.

(For those of you who don't or cannot read my tags, The reason Kugisaki has that kinda look is because I think in the juvenile facility she had strained herself of cursed energy too far and almost gave herself a brain hemorrhage!💥)

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #itadori yuji #shoko ieiri #SHOKO FEATURE IN THE LAST PANEL. i did it for the bestie bc they're enamoured with that woman #but as yall can tell this is AFTER the juvenile detention facility #And i saw that when Kugisaki was put into the car she had bandages over her eyes! soo #i just thought that what if she had strained herself too far and borderline gave herself a brain hemorrhage #just like sukuna did to himself in the fight against Gojo within recent chapters! #Shoko can heal brain hemmorages yall #its not damage to the soul Kugisaki will be fine #told yall id do a lore posinggg #GEGE CANT EVEN STOP ME EAYGGGCGBNNNH

[transsexual-necromutilomaniac]

rickyl delusions

#my art #twd #the walking dead #rick grimes #daryl dixon #rickyl #i WILL push my strange agenda #they're brothers they're lovers they fight side by side they don't even need to use words to communicate #daryls borderline religious hero worship of rick grimes #rick and his attack dog #daryl is his rock man he's one of the only people rick trusts and relies on wholeheartedly he doesn't realise it but he loves him ohhhhh he #loves him like an alcoholic man what the HELL #jesus figure and his church grim