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harrytheehottie · 1 month

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THE FIVE TIMES YOU KNEW: 2016 PART TWO

🌟 read part one🌟 masterlist 🌟 share your thoughts

feels good to finally have a part two out. this is a story that I really want to see through so although updates may be few and far between its a universe that im always thinking of and I hope you enjoy even after waiting weeks! months! years! truly thank you for reading anything I write this is just for fun!

Harry was a mess.

His mom called him in the middle of the night. He was sleeping and didn’t hear it. He wondered what he would’ve done if he had been up, instead of waking up to 3 missed calls and a text from his sister telling to call when he wakes up. Harry immediately had a pit in his stomach. He had a dream about this very thing happening. It was more of a recurring nightmare as he spent more time away from his family. There would be an emergency of some kind and he would be unable to work around his demanding schedule and make sure he was able to make it back home. The dreams were at their worst while Harry was in the band. Now, he knew he was in a better position - Jeff would move mountains to get Harry to where he wanted to be. And right now, he needed to get to Brooklyn.

He was out of bed and in the car in record time. Opting for a pair of gray sweats and one of the first hoodies he could find. It was very early, the smog was still covering the sky, the usual LA traffic was nonexistent. It was 7:12 when Harry got to Brooklyn’s apartment. Harry took a few deep breaths before heading to her front door. He didn’t let her know he was on the way but he almost needed this version of events to happen. Harry knew that at any moment his mom would be calling him up again and he needed someone else there with him.

Harry walked up those steps a little amused at the situation before knocking on the door in quick succession. He heard a faint ‘who is it?” and moments later Brooklyn opened her door.

“Harry? Are you alright, why are you up so early?” She asked. She was wearing a t-shirt that cut her at the middle of her thighs with just underwear underneath, so he hoped. He knew she definitely wasn’t expecting to see him just from that alone.

“I… I had this bad feeling and woke up to a missed call and a few texts from my mum and my sister and I just knew that I shouldn’t be alone.” Harry knew about the doctors appointments and different tests that were being run back home and he buried himself with work to occupy his time.

Brooklyn moved over to open the door wider and let Harry in before going in to hug him. Harry's body perfectly engulfed Brooklyn. He needed this. The familiar feeling of her and her apartment and the way his anxieties seem to disappear whenever he’s around her. Harry takes in the look of her apartment as the early morning sun beams in through the curtains. Brooklyn’s house was cozy and lived in, the closest thing he’s been able to find as ‘home’ since he’s been in LA. She has pictures of her family and friends, her favorite artwork littered around the walls, trinkets on most surfaces, there’s color and life in this place. A stark difference to the usual ‘modern’ homes he’s used to with beiges and creams.

“Do you want coffee?” Brooklyn asks, pulling Harry out of his mind. “I was just up to make a cup before I heard the door.”

“Uhm… yes, please. Al-”

“Almond milk and two sugars. I remember,” Brooklyn interrupts before he could finish letting her know his order. He would be lying to himself if that moment didn’t mean something to him. “You’re the best.” Harry says before taking a seat on the couch as Brooklyn went to the kitchen. He took his phone out, took a deep breath and called his mom back.

Harry was in the living room looking tense on the phone, Brooklyn could hear the familiar Northern Accent of his mother, she is yet to meet the woman but has been present for many phone calls. Brooklyn had the two coffees in her hand and put them on the coffee table as she sat next to Harry and waited for him to be done on the phone. She tried her hardest to not pay any mind to the conversation, paying close attention to his reactions on the phone. The way Harry was playing with his knuckles, moving his hair from one side to the other. The nervousness that he shared, he got off the phone, saying his goodbyes and love you’s to his mom, he took a deep breath and kept his eyes down on the ground shuffling around in his seat. Brooklyn could feel his nervous energy afraid of what he was going to share with her from that phone call but she knew it wasn’t her place to ask. But when his eyes met Brooklyn’s, the soft greens meeting her deep brown, he broke his silence.

“It’s Robin… he’s sick.”

Harry was staying at Brooklyn’s for over a week now. The first night he went back to his place to get a bag of clothes and immediately turned back around to go to hers. He was trying to figure out what to do. Obviously, there was only so much that he could do but support his family through it all. Brooklyn quickly became his confidant. The friendship that they were building went through its first hardship. Harry was in LA to work on his solo album before he had to move back to Europe to begin filming Dunkirk. He wanted to immediately get on the first flight home but Brooklyn with the help of Jefff was the one to talk him out of it. After a week of doing nothing but working out and trying to write all of his ideas on paper. Harry was finally ready to get back to the studio.

They were playing their own version of ‘house’ she was staying in her room and made him sleep on the sofa. He was adamant that he still wanted to stay over on the third night, Brooklyn invited Harry into her room.

“Do you want to sleep in mine?” She asked just as they were finishing dinner. They ordered takeout from their favorite Italian restaurant.

“What?” Harry was almost taken aback by her question. They’ve never done that. Not platonically or ever romantically.

“I’m asking you, if you want to sleep in my room?” Brooklyn spoke again with a sense of calm in her voice. She could feel the fire hot blush creep up through her body as she repeated her sentence.

“And where will you sleep?” Harry quirked a brow.

“In my bed?” She repeated herself. She knew what he was getting at. Always being one to never not be in the mood to be a little cheeky.

“Is this your sly way of finally asking me to come to bed with you?”

“To sleep.” Brooklyn scoffed at him finishing his sentence for him.

“In your bed?” Harry poked again.

“Yes.” She said firmly.

“With you?” Harry was laughing again. Brooklyn threw her hand towel at his chest. Harry successfully pushed her buttons. He felt light for the first time.

“I’m going to bed. If you want to come with you can come. If you’re just going to make innuendos you can stay on the couch. Good night.”

Brooklyn stood up from her chair and began walking up the stairs towards her bedroom. She was wearing her usual clothes to bed: a baggy tee and sleep shorts. Harry waits a beat before following her up the steps trying his hardest not just to run up there. He respects her and their friendship too much to do more than just the flirty banter. He loves getting a rise out of her - the face she would make when she’s annoyed at him. Her big brown eyes rolling at him would cause her nose to scrunch but he could still see that smile that she was trying so hard to hide.

He was still in that fog from the news about Robin. Everyday was spent thinking about how he was going to be off on a movie set soon and not be able to easily be there for his family. He was only in LA for another week and a half before he had to get back to London for a photoshoot and then straight into prep for Dunkirk. It was going to be intense. Emotional. Devastating at times, but right now, he was okay - more than.

With the comfort of Brooklyn.

“Do you think you two would ever?” Callie asked before taking an exaggerated sip of her drink. They were out to lunch and Brooklyn was always hyper aware of the eavesdroppers around them to the point that it almost felt like they were speaking in codes.

“No. I’ve compartmentalized those feelings they’re kind of not there anymore.”

“Kind of not there?” Callie laughed, “You’ve shared a bed for the last two weeks and he’s been living at yours for almost a month, I think the feelings are very much still there.”

Brooklyn rolled her eyes - this was a conversation the two friends have had ever since Harry came into their lives. Brooklyn knows it's because she admitted to her friends that she had a crush on him early on but what girl in her early 20’s around the world doesn’t? But the more their friendship grew the more she pushed those feelings to the side. “Boys and girls can be just friends, Callie. Plus he’s having a really hard time so he’s staying at mine. That’s what friends do.”

“Whatever you say”

“Cmon just tell me what you’re thinking.,,”

“Maybe you should ask yourself why he, with so many friends in this city, went to your house first. And decided to stay there. During a time where he has a lot going on.” Callie reached her hand across the table for yours, “Look Brooklyn, I don’t want you to get in too deep and get hurt, again, because you aren’t being true to your feelings. It’s okay if you like him - you just have to let yourself tell him.”

Brooklyn let her friends' words resonate. She didn’t say much else after that regarding the topic of Harry quickly changing the subject back to work and Callie’s friend drama that didn’t involve her. She knew she would have to confront her feelings at some point. Was it really that weird that Harry decided to come to her first and not Jeff or Ben or any of the other guys in LA he’s known for a lot longer? We were still friends and nothing happened between us even when we were in the same bed. She was just being a good friend.

They were cuddling.

In the middle of the night their bodies moved closer and now they were tangled up together. Their legs intertwined as Brooklyn’s head rested on Harry’s arm like a pillow. This was different. She felt at ease the sounds of Harry’s breathing lulling her back to sleep. The warmth of their bodies proximity to one another. It felt right in a way. So, Brooklyn let herself fall back asleep, the early morning sun just peaking in as she dozed back to bed. It wasn’t until she felt Harry shifting next to her that her eyes slowly opened again. She thought about this exact scenario multiple times embarrassingly enough. And maybe it was the conversation she had with Callie yesterday or the reality of everything hitting her in the moment of them actually doing something that goes beyond the platonic friendship line but she was sure that if Harry asked her to do it again, she would in a heartbeat.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked in his low tone the sleep still evident in his raspy voice.

“How long have you been watching me?” Brooklyn looked up at him to meet his gaze. Harry was sitting up on the bed, his back against the bed frame.

“I’ve only just woken up.”

“You look rather comfy for someone who just woke up… you’ve been staring at me for hours.” Brooklyn jokes as she stretches her arms out for a yawn. Her eyes meet the clock to see that it’s a little past 9. “Shit. I’m going to be late. I promised Callie I’d help her in the morning. Did you turn my alarm off?” Brooklyn almost jolted out of bed looking for her and should’ve been plugged in right next to her. “Harry, where’s my phone?”

Brooklyn looks up at him waiting for him to start shuffling around the bed to find the phone but he’s not moving a mischievous grin on his face as he quickly showed the phone that he had in his hand was actually hers.

“Harry… give me that back!” Brooklyn tried to wrestle the phone out of his grip. But Harry was quick, doding Brooklyn’s attempts with a playful smirk on his face.

As they tussled for control of the phone, laughter filled the room. It had been a long time since they had goofed around like this, just the two of them. But as the playfulness faded, Brooklyn and Harry found themselves in a surprisingly intimate position, their faces inches apart.

Suddenly realizing the closeness of their bodies, Brooklyn and Harry pulled away awkwardly, their cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Harry cleared his throat and quickly got out of bed, “Erm… I’ll go make some coffee?” Harry said trying to break the tension between them.

As Harry left the room, Brooklyn sat there, feeling confused and a little disoriented. She couldn't deny the strange fluttering sensation in her stomach at their close proximity, and she wondered if there was more to their friendship than either of them had ever realized. The conversation with Callie coming to the forefront of her mind.

But for now, Brooklyn pushed those thoughts aside, focusing instead on Harry's offer of coffee. As she heard the sound of the coffee machine whirring in the kitchen, Brooklyn couldn't help but smile, knowing that no matter what happened, she always had Harry by her side.

Harry was on his way to his first studio day since he got the news. There was a song that was nagging at him over the last couple of weeks that he couldn’t wait to flush out with the boys. He tapped his fingers along the steering wheel to the familiar tune that’s been haunting him for day, lyrics echoing in his head like a broken record. As he made his way to the studio, the melody grew louder, almost drowning out the sounds of the bustling city around him. It wasn't until he sat down at his keyboard, fingers poised to start composing, that he realized the source of the song. "Brooklyn saw me, empty avenues," he whispered to himself, the words finally making sense. It was as if a light had been switched on in his mind, illuminating the inspiration behind the melody that had been plaguing him all morning. Harry closed his eyes, letting the music flow through him, each note a reflection of the emotions swirling inside him. As he began to write, the words poured out effortlessly, each line a tribute to the girl who had unknowingly saved him over the last few weeks, Brooklyn, with her kind eyes and gentle smile, had been a beacon of hope in his darkest moments. It all came spilling out of him.

And as the song took shape, Harry knew that this was more than just a melody - it was a tribute to the power of love and connection, a reminder that even in the emptiest of avenues, there was always someone willing to light the way.

#tftyk #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #<3 finally !!!!

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chasingfigments · 19 days

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So here's what I've been up to

Despite the years of relative silence, I actually HAVE been writing, and writing a lot. Most of it just isn't public yet.

September 2021 to January 2023: Planned and outlined a FFXV alternate universe collab with @crazyloststar. (~20,000 words)

January 2023 to present: Started writing the FFXV alternate universe collab. (~76,000 words; 21/36 chapters written; no chapters posted)

January 2023 to August 2023: Took notes for and outlined a FE3H fic about Lysithea returning to Ordelia and dismantling her house, while also being in a long-distance relationship with Claude. (~9,000 words)

September 2023 to present: Started writing the FE3H fic. (~20,000 words; 6/14 chapters written; no chapters posted)

February 2024 to March 2024: Outlined For Some Desperate Glory, a Batman fic where Red Hood kidnaps Bruce Wayne instead of taking over the drug trade. (~7,000 words)

February 2024 to present: Started writing For Some Desperate Glory. (~5,000 words; 1/12 chapters written; 1 chapter posted)

More detail about each of these projects after the cut.

FFXV collab with crazyloststar

If you liked all of our Borders of Divinity bullshit, expect More but also Different. It's another alternate universe/canon divergence, and it's going to be half again as long as BoD.

We're nearly done with Act 2 (chapter 25), which we're scheduled to wrap up next month. We'll be doing a massive continuity edit at that point (it's been well over a year since we wrote chapter one), and once that's finished, we're likely going to start approaching artists for commissions.

According to our writing schedule, we'll be drafting the final chapter sometime in November 2024.

We'll likely start posting before then, but that's going to depend on art and how closely we stick to the writing schedule. We liked being able to post every week with BoD and don't want to risk having to delay a chapter because we're behind.

You'll likely start seeing chapters this year, though it's incredibly likely we'll still be posting in 2025 given its length.

FE3H Lysithea dismantles her house

I'm obsessed with Lysithea's canon ending with Claude, couldn't find anything on AO3 that addressed it, and so here I am, writing it myself.

Also stealing other shit from other endings, but please note--this is essentially the aftermath of a no-recruitment run. It's Golden Deer, with cameos and occasional mentions of other Church-aligned folks.

Claude is off in Almyra for almost the entire fic; here's hoping you're into long-distance relationships when mail delivery takes ages and is not as reliable as the USPS.

I need to get through Act 2 (chapter 9) and do a continuity edit there before I feel comfortable posting.

You'll start seeing chapters this year; maybe late summer-ish. I should be able to get this off my plate this year.

For Some Desperate Glory (Batman fic)

The first chapter is up because I was extra excited and feeling reckless and wanted to get something up the first half of the year when everything else is still months out from being public.

I've gotten my hands on the deluxe version of the UTRH comic; aiming to read it this month. This is likely to cause some additional outline revisions; the chapter count may actually go down--we'll see.

This is the one fic I plan to post chapters as they're finished; the narrative structure is different from the two other projects and won't require continuity checks/overhauls at a specific point.

Hoping to have the entire fic done and up this year. Wish me luck!

#pointless rambling

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fallen-in-dreams · 12 days

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CHAPTER ELEVEN on AO3.

Chapters on Tumblr: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

Pairing: Gaara/Sakura.

Summary: Her descent into madness came after her friends were all dead and before she was sold off like livestock. To him. He knew a thing or two about madness. And there was peace to be found in the violence of that madness. Even if only for a time. Canon divergence AU.

Rated: Mature.

Chapter word count: 11,885.

Status: Ongoing.

Reminder: the tags/warnings are important.

Warnings: dark themes. Arranged marriage (not what you think). Eventual smut (level and degree of that warning being necessary is subjective). Death. Suicide talk. Self-harm. PTSD – expect some well-known symptoms and some not well-known ones. Please don’t read if you’re triggered by psychological &/or emotional-related trauma and effects.

Hiya. Hope you're all doing well. :) So, I'm back. And this story is almost done. But I won't be updating every week - it'll be more like 1 or 2 weeks. The reason:

Sometimes chapters just want to get longer and longer and we really have no choice in the matter.

Unlike the last time I wrote out a fic in draft form then posted each chapter a week apart as I edited them, this story is trying to drive me crazy. 4k chapters turned into 6-9k and now THIS chapter is 11k. My editing process is squeezing that number count for all it's worth and it became so much of a chore. I really needed that New Year's break. So yeah, I'm going to slow it down a LITTLE bit. So I don't let it annoy me too much.

And I hope each and every one of you will join me for the rest of the ride. I can't wait to see what you guys think about what's coming. Cheers. :)

Enjoy. ^_^

Tumblr version:

… Chapter Eleven: To Kiss or Not to Kiss. ...

.:.

Oh love, believe me, Nothing ever comes to us easy, The river's never run up to meet me, Gotta find your own way down

-- Oh Love, by Phildel

.:.

How am I supposed to face her now?

Gaara stopped trying to figure women out a long time ago.

His argument with Sakura Haruno that morning weighed heavily on him all day. Whenever Gaara found a quiet moment or his mind would wander, images of pure fury and betrayal hounded him. Her pretty face screwed up in indignation and misery. He couldn’t get over the fact that Sakura had truly thought he was wilfully keeping her from her friends. It was just for a few moments but the level of pain that vibrated through her body still scared him.

Hours later.

Like so much about her already does.

So, he stewed in self-doubt all day, moving on autopilot as he went from council meetings to the lonely hours stuck working through tedious mission reports and high-level security reviews. Councillor Tōjūrō wanted this. Councillor Sajō insisted on that. And Councillor Ebizō inquired about their mutual concerns, via the not-so-silent Anbu they both trusted.

Gaara was beyond relieved when the working day ended, and he was able to leave. Most days, he stayed until late, and other times he simply took his work home. It had not escaped his notice that he worked too much. But what else was there? All he had outside of work were his siblings, and they had their own lives to deal with. So, most of the time, he had no-one.

And now her.

“Sakura!” Temari’s voice interrupted his thoughts as she called up to their house guest. “Dinner’s ready!”

Gaara clasped his hands together to hide the trembling of his fingers when Sakura finally descended the internal staircase for dinner. He forced himself to blink heavily to keep his vision from zoning out. Nerves and anticipation like he’d never felt before plagued him. It took all his willpower to keep from groaning in frustration at the strange feelings.

He watched pensively as Sakura sat down delicately. Swallowing heavily.

Sakura Haruno.

Gaara couldn’t keep his eyes to himself.

“Date her, talk to her, and try to figure out how we can help her in the meantime.”

Ideas began to swirl in his mind. Possibilities.

As the culinary genius of the family, Kankuro had cooked another magnificent meal. He was still in the kitchen, putting on the final touches as Temari started talking about how her own day had been. Since her decision to stay in the village she’d taken over the management of the guards and patrols of the village. Gaara didn’t know if she was trying to improve it or just scare them into line. Regardless, she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so he gave her free reign to do (almost) whatever she wanted to them.

Temari stood to help Kankuro lay the food on the table. Sakura was staring at a spot close to the internal staircase, her fingers drumming softly on the table.

“Go get that date organised.”

Planning outings was not his thing. He’d never asked anyone on a date before. Expectation hung in the air.

“Let’s eat!” Kankuro yelled.

Dinner had always been a stiff but amicable affair. Every night, they’d sit around the main dining table to partake in one of Kankuro’s chef-level delights, talk would be minimal because they’d be enjoying the food too much to ruin the moment. But inevitably, someone would say something pointedly, and a casual, intermittent conversation would take place. Before Temari’s return, conversation would be carried by Kankuro’s attempts to make Sakura feel welcomed, strained as they were. Gaara would interject when he felt it necessary, with the occasional input from Sakura when addressed directly.

Since Temari’s return, his sister had not just driven the conversation, but wrenched it sideways and taken complete control of the reins. He wondered if was solely because of Sakura’s presence or a familiarity due to her connections to Temari’s former lover. Which begged the question of how much the pinkette knew about his fate.

Gaara gave a deep sigh that did not go unnoticed by the room at large. It all came down to lovers and friends and family, in the end. They were what truly mattered. Sakura coughed lightly and he glanced at her. Conversation would normally pick up at this point, but the air was unusually tense. He blamed himself.

Gaara hadn’t meant to hurt her by keeping the knowledge of her former allies from her. It hadn’t been vindictive. He just did not know where they were. He had his theories, of course, but nothing solid enough to act on. And this bothered him more than he could admit.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Or rather, Temari and Kankuro did, though they both paused a few times to glance at each other, like they were planning something. Temari had shifted to the edge of the seat, an eager look on her face. Sakura was pushing her food around on the plate, not eating. Like himself. Gaara had only taken a few bites before realising he wasn’t even hungry. And Kankuro was digging in, with gusto.

When Temari broke the silence, Gaara was grateful. For all of five seconds. Then he conjured a mental image of his hands strangling her.

“So…” She looked between Gaara and Sakura as she spoke. “It turns out one of the council members is a traitor, likely in cahoots with Danzo.”

Gaara glared at her. You did that on purpose.

She shrugged her shoulders with an air of indifference that he didn’t buy for a second. She’d been trying to convince him to let Sakura in on his ultimate plans for the Leaf Resistance, the future of Suna, and this Cold War. His sister wanted too much. He told her so. He’d been telling her so. But now, the decision was out of his hands. Sakura wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass. Kankuro put his cutlery down and leaned back, watching quietly. Amusement and curiosity danced in his eyes. Gaara could almost hear him thinking, well this should be interesting.

Sakura stopped playing with her food and looked up at Temari after side eyeing Gaara. He braced himself.

“How do you know there’s a traitor?”

“Through Lord Ebizō,” Temari said without hesitation. “Apparently, he’s been working with Gaara here.” She pointed her thumb at him as he scowled back at her. “They’ve found–”

“Temari.”

Kankuro made a soft sound the was halfway between a scoffed and snicker. Nobody paid him any mind.

Gaara glared at his sister. “She doesn’t need to know.”

She won’t be able to handle it, went unsaid.

He was aware of the insult to her person, but he couldn’t help himself. Kazekage or not, Sakura was under his care. She wasn’t one of his ninja. She was in no way his subordinate. Or professional equal. And as such, she was not to be privy to sensitive village information. He could not take responsibility for that. It was enough that he’d given Temari and Kankuro the highest security clearance legally possible for them simply because they were family. And the fact that they could handle it was beside the point.

This wasn’t a matter of trust. Sakura just wasn’t like them. Not anymore.

The pinkette scowled at him. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Gaara sat up straighter. He matched her glare with one of his own. It was to be a battle of the wills, then.

.:.

Sakura did not pull her eyes from Gaara while Temari continued as though she hadn’t been interrupted.

“As you would know, communications between different Kage are always done in code or with a Kage-only sealing jutsu.”

Sakura nodded still staring at the Kazekage. She’d seen Tsunade pen letters to other Kage numerous times in both ways. Shizune had been a pro at transcribing the Hokage’s frustrated and eye-twitching candour to something more diplomatic. Sakura had never quite mastered that skill. Where Shizune excelled, Sakura fell behind. Where Sakura shined, Shizune’s skills were lacking. In that way, they’d complimented each other as Tsunade’s most trusted aides.

“Well,” Kankuro added, breaking his own silence. “Lord Ebizō came to Gaara with copies of transcribed missives that had deletion points in them.”

Sakura nodded again. A deletion point was exactly as it sounded. Information that was sent to Danzo must have been deleted at Suna’s end but not Konoha’s. It was off the record information. The only legitimate reason to delete parts of a message on the official, final copy, was for Kage level reasons. And this was clearly a deletion that Gaara had been unaware of.

What it even meant, she couldn’t say. But there was another problem.

“How…” she started softly, fighting to keep her staring match with the redhead. “How did he find it?”

It was a dangerous thing to do, but also difficult to detect. One might say damn near impossible, considering they shouldn’t have a reason for even looking for it. And whomever discovered the deletion point would have to be exceptionally skilled at Cryptanalysis. At the very least. Had it been Ebizō himself?

Temari answered her unasked question. “A new jounin found it. He wasn’t supposed to be there, apparently. Was just covering a shift for a friend. He’s listed primarily as a sensor ninja but apparently started his prior chunin career as a Cryptanalysis specialist.”

Sakura nodded again, finally understanding. “Lucky.”

“Yes. But unfortunately, he couldn’t tell who made the deletions.”

Of course. Sakura would be surprised if he had. So, this jounin had gone to Ebizō instead of the Kazekage? Maybe because it had been a Kage level security issue, he’d instead gone to the only person whose reputation was both impeccable as well as unquestionable.

“But how does that mean a council member did it?” Was she missing something?

It was Kankuro’s turn to answer. “Nobody in this room but Gaara could do it and we know he didn’t. The next line of suspects are the senior members of the council. Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō are the senior advisors who legally have access to Kage level information. Officially, anyway.”

Because of course the Kazekage reserves the right to not inform them of anything if he doesn’t want to.

“How senior is Ebizō?”

“He leads the council.”

Sakura blinked heavily. So, it could’ve been Ebizō but wasn’t, because he brought it to Gaara’s attention. So, he was the only one they could trust. Almost as though this whole thing was a test that Gaara had set up to suss out the reliability of his subordinates. Except that he couldn’t have predicted this jounin’s inclusion. It would’ve been a piss poor test if nobody found it.

Sakura tapped her chin staring back into Gaara’s seafoam eyes with something akin to calmness. Almost like she was a real person having a legitimate conversation.

Well, look at me, acting like a normal, functioning person. What would my mirror image hallucination think about that?

“Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō.”

She didn’t know anything about Ryūsa beyond some murmuring that he might lead the council one day. Tōjūrō was a complete mystery. But Sajō? Oh, Councillor Sajō she knew. That was a face she’d never forget, the arrogant, pompous, prick. She had fantasies about strangling him with his own intestines on a daily basis. If she could, she would.

Her eyes drifted as Sakura imagined, once again, the choking sounds of the older man as she throttled him. It took a few more seconds and a clearing of Gaara’s throat before she scowled, realising what had just happened. In her distraction, she’d accidentally broke eye contact with him. When she looked back at him, the Kazekage was looking smug.

Shit.

.:.

Gaara couldn’t contain his smirk as Sakura broke their staring contest. Something clunking around in her brain had distracted her.

Good.

“Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō.” Sakura mumbled to herself once more, angling her body away from Gaara and his gaze. He kept watching, his face falling into a frown as she ignored him.

“It has to be Sajō,” she said.

“Why?” Temari asked.

Sakura pulled a face. “I’ve had the unfortunate displeasure of being hounded by him. He’s an arsehole.”

“His personality is not evidence,” Gaara intervened, and she glared at him before turning away again.

Sakura pursed her lips. “I know it’s him.”

“Okay.” His brother was driving Gaara crazy. Temari added to the frustration by echoing his words.

He couldn’t sit here and allow this anymore. “No,” he said.

Sakura clenched her fists, her eyes darting over to the corner of the room; she’d jumped slightly, but there was nothing there to startle her. Sometimes, Gaara wondered about that. Hallucinations.

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said.

It was a wonder his sanity was still intact, dealing with her. She slammed her fists down on the table, dislodging silverware and making his siblings jump out of their skins, but not so hard as to damage the structural integrity of the furniture.

“You promised,” she said scathingly, glaring openly at him, and he was reminded of their argument that morning. “You said you would tell me–”

“I said that we’ll talk later,” he corrected her.

“About the Leaf Resistance!” She yelled and Temari and Kankuro’s heads whipped towards Gaara. He could feel their confusion and surprise but ignored them. “About what you’re doing! You said we should talk. We need to talk. So, let’s talk damn it!”

“This cipher talk isn’t about the Resistance,” he growled. “Nor is the traitor councillor.”

“Do you know that for sure?” She snapped. “Or are you just presuming? What if it’s all connected, Gaara? What if none of it is a coincidence?” She was on a roll now, taking a deep breath before charging into her new hypothesis with gusto. “Danzo doesn’t want a strong alliance with Suna, and we all know it. I’m not actually here to marry you! What if my mission is part of a larger plan? Sending a Root member with me when those tiny little fucking bastards are not actually trained in diplomacy? You have to admit that’s suspicious! So, what if his connection with this traitor has something to do with the Resistance? Or to undermine Suna because he already has a highly connected ally within your walls! What if it’s all connected? Did you ever stop to think about that?”

Gaara blinked heavily at her. Her deduction was quite the stretch. But crazier things had happened and he couldn’t think of a valid counter point, so he would be remiss to completely rule it out. He sighed. But this wasn’t the place to discuss this.

“I can help,” she said, her voice suddenly soft. He didn’t respond. “He won’t expect anything from me.”

“We don’t even know it’s him,” Gaara said. He was fighting with himself as much as her. He didn’t want to push her out of this, but it was political. And she wasn’t a Suna native. It wouldn’t be treason, but it would be dangerous. For both of them.

Maybe I’m overreacting.

He had no clue. Sakura’s face scrunched up as though she was in pain and her head dipped. She closed her eyes and he imagined she was struggling to calm herself. Was she having a panic attack? Gaara felt a similar spasm grasp his chest at the thought of having done this to her.

I can’t do anything right, with her.

She stood up abruptly, not looking at anyone. Her hands were balled into fists and Gaara’s stomach clenched painfully. Guilt. He felt the urge to say something, anything, to keep her from leaving this room angry. But nothing came to mind. He sat there, with his mouth slightly agape, unable to say the things she needed to hear.

Why?

There was a war in Gaara’s heart. The urge to protect her. The urge to respect her desire to participate. The urge to keep her far from the machinations of the evil of this world. He felt like he was being torn in too many different directions. But he knew that above all, he was being incredibly selfish.

With no regard for her uneaten dinner, Sakura stormed out.

He couldn’t release the groan that threatened to bubble up his throat. Gaara remembered he still had an audience and turned his head minutely to glance at them. Temari was frowning at him, her fingers tapping the table soundlessly. Kankuro was shaking his head, his lips twisted in barely controlled irritation. Gaara let that effervescent groan escape his mouth. He was an arsehole. He knew it. Because his siblings had never looked at him with so much disappointment before. Even when he let a demon out to play havoc on their village as a blood thirsty child.

.:.

When will I ever learn?

She was too emotional. Always had been. Weak. Pathetic. Emotional little girl. Expected too much of others. Presumed too much of herself. Stupid.

Sakura stormed up the internal staircase and slammed her bedroom door closed. She didn’t stop there, grabbing the cactus Matsuri and Yukata had given her (what else did she have?) and throwing it against the wall. Not the back of the door. No, not the chronicle of her timeline in Suna.

Soil spilled onto the floor, but the succulent remained firmly in the pot. The hardy bastard.

She let out a long-winded, slightly high-pitched groan. One minute Gaara was open and treating her like a human being and the next, looking down on her and breaking his promises. She felt so childish, but Sakura didn’t care. She wanted to rage and yell and pound some faces into the ground. She let her anger broil and seethe as she turned and threw herself at the bed. Head in the middle and feet dangling over the edge, she screamed into the blanket for all she was worth.

Which isn’t much, let’s be honest.

It was best to muffle her more violent urges. Noisy. Yes. The last thing she wanted was for someone to hear her screaming and to come running. If they would even. She scoffed. Sakura groaned, then rolled onto her back, grabbed the pillow, and attempted to suffocate herself. It wouldn’t be the first attempt since her arrival at Suna.

Who am I kidding?

She wasn’t trying to do anything to herself.

Sakura gripped the pillow harder, closed her eyes tightly and then screamed again. The muffled sound only made her ears pop. She sighed and sat up wearily. She needed to stop doing this to herself. After so long alone, Sakura had started to think she was a part of something. Maybe something special. Probably just something not toxic. Not dangerous. Kankuro was personable. Temari seemed genuinely happy to see her. But Gaara… fuck, she had to stop wanting more from him.

She shook herself and stood up as the mirage floated into the room, through that blasted window. Sakura’s heart raced and she shivered. Had the temperature dropped suddenly or was she just feeling the aftereffects of her panic attack? She watched as the mirage as it turned on the spot and seemed to only just notice her, glowering now.

“I hate you,” she said with conviction. I really do.

“You brought this on yourself,” it replied.

“Shut up.”

Its smile was cruel. Sakura closed her eyes and sat back down on the bed; hands fisted on her thighs.

“He doesn’t care about you.”

“Go away.”

“You’re useless to him.”

She wanted to cry. A choked sob escaped her before she could stop it. No. She was in control of this. Sakura threw her pillow at the mirage. And of course it sailed right through that smug, broken, and bloodied face. It was happy and angry at the same time. How could something that wasn’t even real hold any emotions at all?

“Are you even trying to escape this stupid hell hole?”

No, apparently Sakura had completely forgotten she wanted out of Suna. How long had it been? She paused in her internal debate to glance at the back of her bedroom door.

Twenty-five days so far.

“Ugh.”

Between wanting in on Gaara’s schemes and her ink creatures, Sakura still had no idea what she was doing. Her creations had scouted the village outskirts and even memorised the guard positions and patrol routes. There was no predictability to times, but the places were all the same. It was something to work with, at least. But it was getting her nowhere.

Twenty-five days and all she’d accomplished was making a fool of herself in front of everyone.

Gaara didn’t want her help. Her creatures had probably escaped this hell hole, leaving her behind. There was nothing to do. Nothing but sit in her room like a good girl and wait out whatever plan Gaara and his siblings had. Once the traitor had been identified and proven they could then tackle the political mess Danzo had Suna entrenched in. And Sakura would be free.

And this time I’ll run.

She’d kill the Root shadow and run. Sakura grasped at her chest, grinning despite the hole in her heart. She didn’t notice the single tear at first. It contained all her hopes for being human again. She wiped at it, not sure what to think of it. But she was spared that particular, repetitive self-flagellation at the abrupt sound of a hiss. She started, spinning around quickly. Her kunai was still in the hole in the windowsill. Conveniently between her and the source of the disturbance.

I really need a better hiding place.

Or multiple kunai dipped in poison. Yes, that would be better. More kunai, more targets. She smiled ruefully at that, her focus snapping to the window. She breathed a sigh of relief when there was no attack but rather the shadows of familiar shapes.

They’re finally back.

The ink creatures. The vulture-like bird and viper shaped snake. They slid into the room through the open window, moving in tandem. Between the two of them they had a death grip on something. Something distinctly snake-shaped and presumably dead. A wide grin spread over her face, and they halted their movements.

“Yes,” she hissed. She inched toward them as the ink bird hopped impatiently, releasing its own grip. When she touched the real snake softly, the ink snake twisted its body, tightening its hold on the carcass. The snake was indeed dead. She sighed, relieved. That would make this much easier. The chemical make-up of venom did not change after the snake died. So, theoretically, she should be able to extract the venom and use it, no problem.

Sakura vividly remembered a description of the milking process from a snake husbandry book during her genin days in Konoha.

Press down on the back of the snake’s head after it bites the container. The fangs will drip out venom for at least fifteen to twenty seconds.

Those instructions had been for a live snake. She cocked her head at the dead one as it was still being half-heartedly strangled by living ink, at her feet. Well, hopefully its deceased status wouldn’t make a difference other than ease of access. Hopefully.

Do I do this now?

Normally, she’d wait for the other occupants of the household to go to bed before doing something she didn’t want to be walked in on doing. Right now, standing, staring, and contemplating her sanity carried a high risk of interruption.

Sakura glanced up at the clock. She’d only been back in the room for almost two minutes. It felt far longer. She sighed, resigned, and shooed her hand at the ink creatures. Trying to corral cats would be easier. They just sat and stared at her. Or rather, the snake remained motionless except for the occasional tightening of its possessive grip and the bird cocked its head at her. Much like she’d done a moment ago. Not that it made a difference if they suddenly started towards the bathroom or something, to keep out of sight. And this whole thing would be far safer if she waited, anyway. She’d already been waiting two days for their return to begin, what was a few more hours?

Still feels like I’ve been pacing impatiently for far longer.

She sat on the edge of her bed and closed her eyes. Her emotions had settled. She felt so drained. But not exhausted. There was an old meditation technique that Lady Tsunade had taught her, and she was just scooting back further onto the bed to try it when Sakura paused, startled by the sudden rush of chakra.

Gaara’s chakra.

Gaara’s knock on her door.

“Is he here to apologise?” She’d forgotten about the mirage. Its singsong, mocking voice floated over to her. “I don’t think so.”

She inhaled deeply, unable to stop the sudden hiccupping sob that sounded from her mouth. All the anger and fear and feelings of resentment and abandonment that had just disappeared, all the tension in her body, suddenly returned with a vengeance. How could one person, so innately collected and calm, invoke such a raging storm inside her? She hated it. And right now, she hated him.

“Stop lying.”

Go away.

He wasn’t going away.

Fuck the mirage. She wanted Gaara to leave her alone. But she also wanted him to persist. To show her she was worth the effort. That he cared. Sakura wiped at her tears and attempted to make her face look presentable. Maybe he would give up. In that case the only person who would see her tears was herself.

He knocked again.

“Sakura?” That deep, soft voice. Gods.

What is he doing to me?

.:.

Moonlight filtered in through her window as Sakura stared at the door. The ink creatures twittered and hissed, respectively, nearby and she wasn’t ready for Gaara to see them.

“Think he’ll actually call you crazy this time?”

Maybe. The mirage grinned at her thought.

“Sakura?”

Right, he was still outside her room. She fought the urge to flee. It had been her default state since arriving in Suna and it was beyond exhausting.

And embarrassing.

She glanced at the snake and bird before slowly opening the door half a foot and holding tightly to the frame to keep him from pushing it open. If he had such a notion. Sakura forced herself to look him in the eye.

The shame. His face was full of it.

“Hi.”

He nodded but before Gaara could respond, Sakura moved forward, placing a trembling hand on his chest, keeping her eyes on his. Pale green irises widened but he didn’t complain. Feeling more confident, Sakura pushed him gently and closed the door behind herself. In the hallway. Alone. Together. Her other hand found its way to his chest and Sakura felt his heart beat a little faster under her fingertips.

“It’s a nice night,” she said, her voice low and strong. Maybe. She had no idea. It just had to be strong enough to project confidence. Conviction she missed about her past herself. She was trying, really. “Let’s go to the roof.”

His eyes searched hers wordlessly, clearly trying to figure out what her plan was. What she was thinking. Why she was thinking it. Maybe even if she was trying to trick him. He’d deserve it, after that display during dinner, but Sakura tried for her most saccharine smile.

Seemingly convinced, he slipped his right arm around her waist and pulled her gently toward him, flush against his body. Sand whipped up around them and she couldn’t stop the light gasp for the life of her. Steeling herself, Sakura gripped harder to him as they disappeared from the hallway outside her bedroom and her centre of gravity shifted and they reappeared on the roof of the Kazekage mansion.

The cold night air hit her first. She shivered but didn’t complain. She expected Gaara to pull away immediately but his hold on her remained firm. Almost like it was his apology. Or he was working up to one. Sakura waited. And glanced around, remembering that the Root shadow would be able to see them from the outside, on the roof, even if he couldn’t hear them.

She could imagine that freak’s reaction if he was watching right now. Sakura remembered, one of the few times the masked man hadn’t berated her on their three-day journey to Suna he’d gone over her expectations on this mission. He’d expected her to lull Gaara into a false sense of security. To take advantage of him. To play the part of a girl being sold off.

Use your assets, he’d said, leering at her. It’s not like you haven’t done this before.

Danzo had not ordered her to sleep with, let alone woo Gaara, specifically. But it was in every look he’d given her before sending her off. It was in between every line in the official papers for this mission. Of course, she’d ignored it. Sakura hadn’t planned to be here this long. But here she was, with Gaara’s arm around her, and all Sakura could think of was that, technically, this was supposed to be a seduction mission. She hadn’t foreseen viewing Gaara as a sexual being. It had snuck up on her, now painfully obvious. Sakura knew it before but a part of her had also denied it, but it was true. There was no going back now. She wanted him.

Desperately.

But she was done hoping he would start anything. Gaara wasn’t like that.

Sakura started as his left arm came around to embrace her. His chin resting on top of her head, and he let out a soft sigh. It made her body tremble in response, and she wondered what he was trying to do if not turn her on. This was out of character for him. As far as she could tell. She inhaled deeply. And he needed to stop smelling so good too.

Because it’s hot as fuck.

She wanted to dominate him. The feeling wasn’t new to her but the chance to be the one in control, was. All she’d ever done is exude a fake version of confidence. Sex was methodical. A tool. To her, at least. And here was Gaara, making her want something else. Something more.

But how am I supposed to get that?

She had no idea how to instigate this. Reluctantly, Sakura released her hold on Gaara and after a few moments of what seemed like internal contemplation, he uncoiled his arms, removing them from her hips gently. Always the gentleman. Never the paramour. She cleared her throat and took a step backwards.

He wouldn’t want me that way, anyway.

She needed to get this under control. This level of intensity wasn’t natural for her. It had to be a side effect of either the prazosin drug she was taking or her anxiety. Post Traumatic Distress Disorder. She wasn’t so stupid as to presume she’d survived the last few years with her sanity intact. And it would explain so much.

“I’m sorry.”

Sakura’s jaw dropped at Gaara’s words. He was sorry. She blinked stupidly at him.

“For everything,” he said.

She nodded slowly, licking her lips absentmindedly. Yes, he’d been an arse. She could accept this. She stared at him for a moment, contemplating how to go about the discussion she wanted to have with him. He kept eye contact, obviously content with waiting for her input. She tried to smile but her lips quivered.

Sakura sighed.

“Councillor Sajō. He came to a few of the wedding planning sessions,” she said, deciding on a change of topic. “He was abrupt but otherwise respectful to the other ladies. But he kept glancing at me.” She shuddered at the memory. “He didn’t like what he saw. And he hates me. I know it’s not a lot to go on,” she added. “I’m sorry I was so pushy and defensive about it.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Sakura didn’t think he had anything to base that on. Sometimes she thought he had a secret file that occasionally leaked information about her to him, in minute amounts; just enough for him to get glimpses into her psyche, but not enough for a deep dive. Enough for his pity to sting her. To burn. And enough for him to think her some kind of helpless victim.

She stood straighter, shoulders pushed back, and chin raised. Sakura had never been good at hiding her feelings, even after the Root commanded that had trained her in the early days of Danzo’s reign got tired of her lack of control. The man had very little patience for emotional outbursts. He could teach her all manner of underhanded jutsu and Root-based tactics but mental conditioning to suppress her emotions? She was never going to master that. Not to his satisfaction, anyway. There was no seal on her tongue. Danzo didn’t stick needles in her eyes and brainwash her. No, he just had his subordinates torture her. Poke her full of holes. Heal her. Fry her. Rinse and repeat. She was fun to play with, apparently. Even more so than some others because an unwilling servant could scream the loudest.

“The council has always been difficult,” Gaara interrupted her thoughts, running a hand through his hair distractedly. He looked past her, as though someone had appeared suddenly, and she had to refrain from turning to look. But there had to be nobody there because his demeanour didn’t change. “They do like to make up their own rules sometimes.”

“I can believe that. Especially after that councillor started having me followed.”

Sakura was adamant that Sajō had. The Root shadow never seemed bothered by it. He’d even laughed a few times when she’d stopped on her way back to the Kazekage’s mansion, sensing the darkening presence behind her. Escorted by Matsuri and Yukata, she was shielded by their presence. Their limited protection. But the moment she strayed again; Sakura knew all bets would be off.

And who knows what Sajō is actually willing to throw down?

Would he have her cornered and interrogated? Would he stoop to physically attacking her? Maybe an attack like that would-be-assassin? He was making sure she stayed in line. After their run-in at the council building, she showed herself to be a loose cannon. And if Sajō was in league with Danzo, then it was likely the Root shadow would help him.

She explained all of this to Gaara, leaving out how her contemplation on how far Sajō would go intrigued her. If the old man gave her a reason to fight back, she would. Gaara frowned, concern marring his features.

“It has to be him,” she said.

“It’s at least a place to start,” he agreed.

Sakura smiled widely at him, warmth spreading over her face. Was she blushing? But hope had burgeoned in her chest, and she didn’t care, either way. His eyes softened as he stared back at her, and she had to push down the sudden urge to throw her arms around him.

“I can help,” she said. It wasn’t meant as a reprimand, but Gaara’s face shifted into stony seriousness.

“I know,” he said, his voice low and ashamed. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

She nodded. “You know… I can handle myself.”

“I know–”

“I just…”

Sakura glanced around the rooftop, remembering another night when he’d followed her up here and she’d killed a masked assassin. It felt like years had passed since then. Being here for the first time since then brought it all back. The blood on her hands. The rain gently trying, and failing, to wash it away. Her mind spasming in ecstasy at the opportunity to finally get to kill something. When she eventually turned back to Gaara she found him looking around in a similar manner, a faraway, contemplative expression on his face.

Does he think of that night often, too?

“We never talked about that night,” she said, and suddenly had his full attention again. “I killed a man–”

“Who was trying to kill you,” he interrupted, but she kept going, unimpeded.

“–right here. I tore into him. And I know you know I took pleasure in it.” She inhaled deeply, her breath shaky, and ignoring the way he looked pensive. “And I know you know… that I’m not…” She struggled to find the right way to explain how she’d lost the plot without sounding dramatic. But it wouldn’t come. Instead, she tried another angle. “Sometimes it comes in flashes. I’ll be okay one moment and then… I’ll just want to dig my kunai into something. Or even my bare hands. That ache. That desire.” She sighs. “I know you understand.”

Because you used to be out of control too went unsaid.

“And I see things…” She cut herself off quickly, not wanting to go further down that rabbit hole.

Gaara’s eyes had widened slightly at that admission, but he didn’t say anything. She was grateful for that.

Anyway…

“I’m not all there, I know. But I’m not so far gone that–”

“You’re not crazy, Sakura. You’re not worthless or useless or unworthy.” Gaara narrowed his eyes at her. His hands twitched, like he too was fighting the urge for them to embrace. She longed for that warmth again, shifting the weight between her feet nervously.

He stared at her intensely and she swallowed heavily in a vain attempt to stop the flow of tears. They stuck in the corner of her eyes in warning, and she tried so hard to keep them from falling, clenching her fists, digging her nails into her hands. Whatever she needed to do. Sakura nodded her head in agreement even as she refused to accept his sweet words.

But her gratitude towards this man was so strong that she couldn’t restrain the single sob from ripping out of her mouth. Now, she couldn’t stop the light tears now gathering along her eyelashes, threatening to obscure her vision. Sakura hugged herself as Gaara reached out to wipe the tears away. He was so tender and considerate. She felt like she was going to break from his kindness. It was good. But it was also torture.

Even after his outbursts and stubbornness to keep her in the dark, she couldn’t begrudge him forgiveness.

Sakura sniffed and leaned into his touch lightly, even as she was unable to bring herself to look at him. He cupped her cheek for a few moments, just holding his hand still against her before slowly wiping at her eyes again. When he removed his hand completely, it wasn’t done hastily or roughly. She didn’t feel rejected. She felt calmer. More in control.

“Sakura… I…”

What could he say? She didn’t know.

“Let’s go on that date.”

But apparently, he does.

She started, looking up at him in surprise. That came out of nowhere. But to be fair, it was something they’d already talked about. Once she got over the initial shock, Sakura found herself smiling her way through the mild panic at the thought of officially dating him.

“Now?”

He nodded.

“It’s a bit late.”

Gaara smiled wryly. “I don’t sleep much, and you don’t… have to go to the wedding planner tomorrow.”

That was true. It was officially her day off. She’d planned to spend it in the training grounds and also use some of that time to hone her ink crafting skills again. Sakura no longer felt the compulsion to escape Suna, though a deep seeded feeling of unease from merely being in Suna still ate at her. Everything she did now was just to pass the time, out of habit, or necessity. But this… yeah, she wanted to change things up a bit.

“O-okay.” She cleared her throat. “Yes. Let’s… uh,” she blushed, “go on that date.”

Gaara must have been thinking about this more than she realised. He rattled off a few ideas, all of which she could picture being interrupted and annoyed by the ever-present Root shadow in her wake. But several of the ideas sounded like they might just be in a no-go zone for her stalker.

Only one way to find out.

And it was a shame her mirage couldn’t be kept out of things as easily.

Sakura realised, as Gaara tentatively explained how this place and that place were in high security areas and had amazing views of the village, that of course the Shadow wasn’t allowed in all areas of Suna. She could’ve slapped herself for not thinking of it earlier. It was even likely he wasn’t allowed anywhere near Suna’s shinobi academy. All of this must have been covered back when they’d arrived and Baki had run down official rules to them both. She hadn’t been paying attention back then.

So many places I could’ve lost him in. Buried him, more like.

“Something casual,” Gaara was saying, bringing Sakura’s attention back to their impending date. Were they just going somewhere casual? Or was he talking about their relationship? Or maybe what they were going to wear? Well, there wasn’t anything casual about being engaged. It was still a farce, but it no longer felt trivial to her.

Okay, she could do this. She cleared her throat. “Yes, casual.”

Was that a smirk?

“We’ll need somewhere with food,” she added, ignoring the flush that his smirk had invoked along her body. They were both acutely aware neither of them had eaten their dinner. But Sakura didn’t want some homemade food for this. “Or money to buy some.”

“There are a number of acceptable vendors open this time of night.”

“Right.”

“I asked you out,” he said, his face tinging pink. “I will pay any and all fees.”

She wasn’t going to argue with that, since she was flat broke. It wasn’t like Danzo cared to pay her for any of her missions. She inwardly scoffed at the notion. The only things she owned were from before his takeover or what she’d managed to steal over the years. She would have to go through the clothes in the wardrobe in her bedroom. Again. At least there more options to choose from now, since both Matsuri and Yukata had made a point of restocking that threadbare closet.

“And I’ll change into something less... I mean more comfortable.” She spluttered. “I mean something casual.” She bit her lip in embarrassment. They were a pair of tomatoes. “Meet you back here in fifteen?”

Gaara nodded, his smile infectious as she returned it before turning on the spot and leaving him alone on the roof. She hadn’t even thought to ask him to use his sand, perhaps because she was still subconsciously remembering the ink creatures. They needed to be dealt with first, before she went anywhere.

Gaara will wait.

She knew he would.

.:.

The night was alive with the sounds and lights that made up the heart of Suna.

And the hounding footsteps of her eternal stalker. The closer they moved towards the lights and sounds, the further the Root retreated into the shadows. It faded into the background but refused to disappear completely. She would not turn her head to give it the attention it craved.

Instead, Sakura took in the sights and sounds, feeling like a proper tourist for the first time in her life. Gaara took her down a small path that led from the Kazekage mansion to the larger maze of interconnected paths to the thoroughfare of the village. From this narrow road, all other paths diverged. And his chosen path opened up into a lively and festival area.

There was no official looking celebration or staged performance, but the atmosphere had a similar ambience to them both. And the people were in merriment as though there really was a carnival going on. Sakura wondered if this was a new thing, because of the tensions of the Cold War and people just wanting to forget for a time, or if Suna had always occasionally held large-scaled revelries. Civilians behind the walls of any village, hidden and safer than most, couldn’t understand what it was really like out there, surely.

Enough of the doom and gloom.

The Root shadow followed as they moved deeper into the edge of the festivities, where the crowd was thinnest, keeping away from the louder groups. Far away. Some people turned to look at them; they recognised Gaara, despite his casual long styled jinbei, but Sakura’s casual shirt and trousers would not have screamed her identity more than her shocking pink hair. Even drab, it stood out. Fortunately, the crowd was sparse, having died down from the dinner rush, which meant the menu selections were limited but that suited them just fine.

Sakura tried not to notice how many people there really were. Nor the concerned look on Gaara’s face when he clearly noticed her anxiety. A few vendors sat on the outskirts of this rabble and Gaara steered them towards the first of the street food merchants, his hand on the small of her back. Sakura eyed the yakisoba but ultimately decided on yakitori. Gaara chose the same.

“I cannot take your money, Lord Kazekage,” the flustered merchant waved his hands frantically, when Gaara went to pay for it. “A treat for your lady friend. On the house.”

Sakura inhaled deeply, not wanting to speak for fear of setting off her anxiety. There were enough eyes on her. And the Shadow was ever present, even in the background. She took a deep breath and followed Gaara as he led her to an open dining area that was mostly empty. They sat on the tableless chairs and ate, just enjoying the distantly happy atmosphere and their silent company. It was oddly comfortable.

There was a tradition in Suna, or so Gaara had told her on the walk down the paths to this district. He’d learned about it from his brother. Like bar hopping in Konoha, this was called stall hopping – on dates or festival nights, going from one vendor to the next, buying a single, small portion of food, then moving onto the next vendor to repeat the process. It sounded interesting. Having finished their seasoned chicken, they now had their meat. Their animal protein.

The next stall had to be different. That was the tradition.

With Gaara’s arm pressed lightly and confidently against Sakura’s lower back, they continued to the next stall, which specialised in rice and seaweed as their main ingredients. Here, the vendor owner also refused Gaara’s money and ladled their plates with a serving of Onigiri and a shrimp tempura roll and ushered them to some seats nearby.

Sakura supposed it was good for business too, having the Kazekage seen at their stall.

“No, no, Lord Kazekage! I will not have it!” The third vendor followed the example of the previous ones, refusing Gaara’s money as well.

He was flushed at the intensity of their refusals and Sakura had to hide a smile behind her hand.

“Looks like they like you too much,” she whispered.

“Your lady friend will eat for free too.”

Gaara had clearly never actually done anything like this before. The novelty was something to behold. They both ordered a small bowl of miso soup, and this time chose to sit closer to the stall as they consumed their food. Sakura took the opportunity to study him as he delicately sipped at his miso, not bothering with the seaweed within the soup.

His sharp features made her feel nostalgia for the days when a pretty face would have her bumbling over her words or blushing just thinking about some boy’s eyes on her. She closed her eyes as images of Sasuke glaring at her popped into her mind. Her innocent, naïve days were over.

“They like you too,” Gaara whispered softly, and she looked over to see that he’d finished already. He wasn’t looking at her, but she took comfort from the gentle smile on his lips as he looked out over the scant crowd.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, but she tried to ignore it. She’d never been on a date before but had gossiped in her early years of puberty about all the different ways to go about it and how the boy in question would dote on her. However, none of them had involved stall hopping for a street vendor mixed with Kaiseki styled meals for an on the move dinner.

If only we could have done this without a stalker watching our every move.

She pointedly ignored the mostly invisible monster. When they were done, Sakura wanted the next stall to be a dessert one. Gaara pulled a face at the sweets before him, and Sakura laughed at the way he fake-coughed like it would get him out of helping her choose something.

Gaara turned his nose up at the dumplings and imagawayaki that Sakura had pointed out, making her giggle more like she was a real girl on a date this time. He really didn’t like sweets. There was no fried ice-cream, which she assumed he’d like better, but she convinced him to try some savory senbei. He didn’t flinch at the taste, and she grinned at him like she’d won a prize. His skin flushed a light pink, but he said nothing.

This merchant also refused his money and Sakura found herself comforting Gaara’s obvious unease by rubbing her hand along his lower back. The move surprised them both but except for a moment’s hesitation, she didn’t let it stop her from continuing. Until their food came and she focused on the task of consuming her dumplings without choking from embarrassment.

Their final vendor was a tea stand. This owner was just as impressed by the appearance of the Kazekage and finally, Gaara didn’t bother feeling too awkward about their insistence regarding payment. They took their green tea and decided to stroll out of the district, side by side, arms down, hands brushing against each other every now and then. And like naïve teenagers who’d never done anything romantic before, they wore identical looks of shyness and happiness. It was a great feeling. An unfamiliar feeling, for them both.

“I’m proud of you, Gaara.”

He blinked at her. “I should say the same.”

She smiled as they moved away, the food stalls gave way to a larger area. The food here came in restaurant size, but they bypassed it, keeping to the edge. But all good things do come to an end.

Because I’m a freak.

There was a commotion. Not a violent one by the sounds of it, but it seemed that some people were making a fuss in a crowd nearby. Yelling. Whooping. Drunken noises. Sounds that mimicked festivities that had gotten out of hand. The crowd was larger than Sakura was used to, and she hesitated on the threshold. She closed her eyes for a second to control her breathing, taking a small, unconscious step away from it. Her heart was racing again, her palms sweaty. Gaara stood silently and patiently beside her. He touched her arm softly when it was clear she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Are you okay?”

She couldn’t nod or speak, just trying to focus on her breathing. Her ears were ringing but it came and went quickly. Sakura grasped Gaara’s hand that had touched her, startling him. He took the hint and led her away from it. There were more commotions, but not as loud or out of control this time. The people were just having fun. Sakura didn’t know what had drawn their attention as she was not focusing on anything other than moving her feet and how warm Gaara’s hand felt against her skin.

And as they came to the edge of these newer sounds, she didn’t hesitate. “Let’s have a look.”

“Are you sure?”

He clearly was worried she wouldn’t be able to handle it, and he had reason to. She wasn’t exactly exuding confidence. But Sakura wanted to go down there and just check it out, at least. To find out what had drawn the attention of so many if not the usual things attributed to festivities, like games or fireworks. They didn’t have to stay for long. Just long enough to satisfy her curiosity.

Sakura reached out and entwined their hands before she could stop herself out of embarrassment. “I’ll squeeze your hand when I want to leave.”

He nodded, swallowing heavily and gently squeezing her hand in affirmation.

Okay, then.

Sakura took a deep breath. I can do this.

She’d already endured the inquisitive stares of the scattered people at the street stalls; this was just another step in the right direction. And if she could do all that under the eye of the Root, then she could do anything. It was just another challenge to overcome. And she so desperately wanted to overcome it.

They were recognised of course, and more than one set of eyes drifted to their entwined hands. Her skin felt clammy all of a sudden and a light squeeze from Gaara both set her heart aflutter and calmed her nerves. They only stayed for a few minutes. The lights were bright and the people, laughing and swaying, were loud and friendly. But she’d finally had enough.

Masks.

It was a mask gathering, themed not unlike the Matsuri festival back in Konoha. Not everyone was wearing a mask but there were small groups of impromptu dancers and some scattered musicians. They had the appearance of entertainers who had just come off some kind of travelling troupe but didn’t look out of place. Not like her. Sakura felt underdressed all of a sudden but pushed that anxiety down.

She gently squeezed Gaara’s hand, and he immediately steered them to a path that would lead away from the festivities. Like the interconnected paths she imagined it also led to the thoroughfare. But they didn’t get a chance to use it. There was a cry of something that sounded like frustration and excitement to her right and Sakura stiffened as a clearly very drunk civilian came stumbling as quickly as he could towards them. He made flailing motions with his arms, his face twisted in a grin and nonsensical words on his slurred and unintelligible tongue.

Ugly, rotten teeth. Polished and dangerous.

That peel of laughter wasn’t coming from the drunkard. It was seeping out of the shadows.

Sakura reeled, almost falling over. Gaara held her and she gripped his hand so hard she would’ve broken his sand armour if he’d bothered to wear it. The lights and sounds of the festivities brightened and blinded her. Hazy and screaming. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t ask Gaara for help. She couldn’t do a damn thing.

But true to his promise, Gaara was pulling her to him, flush against his chest. Sand whipped up around them, scaring off the drunkard. Sakura closed her eyes as the Kazekage teleported them away. When her feet hit the ground, she let her head fall forward onto Gaara’s chest. She felt the warmth of his hand on her back as he attempted to soothe her. Face pressed against his chest. Ascending numbers flashing through her mind’s eye. Breathing. Leaning into his embrace. Her body sagged. But she was calming down.

The Shadow is gone.

Sakura lost count of those ascending numbers, not knowing how long it really took for her to come back to herself. But she did. And Gaara moved with her as she pulled away, peering at her. Assessing her. Like he cared. She was learning to love those pale green eyes of his.

Fuck it. Why are you so good to me?

“Why…”

Gaara hushed her as she lost that train of thought. She looked around, realising she did not recognise the area he’d teleported them to. Sakura’s head swivelled around several times as she tried to take in the view. They were in what looked like a forest sanctuary. Or rather the kind of forest that Suna could provide with limited resources. The colour green was everywhere. Gardens. Stone pathways. And a dome nearby that screamed, “there’s a greenhouse inside me!”.

“Where are we?”

“The west gardens,” Gaara said. “This area is out of bounds. Only select individuals are allowed here, and only with my permission.”

More places the Shadow can’t reach.

She felt special. And she loved the place on sight. The foreboding pressure had released, and Sakura suddenly felt lighter than air. “Okay, give me a tour,” she said, not having to force her face to smile.

Gaara nodded, gently taking her hand once more. She soaked it all in as they walked along the path and he explained what she was seeing, in that simple but intelligent way of his. On paper, his words would sound clipped, but they came out so serene and husky that Sakura found herself hypnotised by them.

His voice.

She sighed. They found a bench and she let go of his hand before lowering herself onto it. She felt very nervous as Gaara sat beside her. Inches apart. She couldn’t decide which was worse: the way her libido occasionally went into overdrive around him or her current uncomfortable feeling like she was some virginal teenager who didn’t know how to behave in her own skin.

A shock of light and sound. Sakura whipped her head to the side in time to see an explosion of fireworks. She jumped to her feet quickly and scanned the horizon. Gaara stood and mimicked her pose.

“I forgot about that,” he said slowly, and she understood. This was a rare occurrence. Which meant she didn’t want to miss it.

Sakura took his hand and pulled him along as she raced towards it. Still in the gardens, they found the edge of the gardens that overlooked a significant portion of the village and she let herself fall backwards onto the grass. Gaara chuckled as he lay next to her. They had a great view of the fireworks erupting above the village.

They lay next to each other silently, just watching, leaning back on their elbows, and just enjoying the company. Eventually, the fireworks began to die down and, even though there was no hint of it on the horizon, Sakura was sure the sun wouldn’t be far away.

“Thank-you,” she said softly.

“You’re welcome.”

The stars twinkled. The blackness unable to mask their delight. She smiled at that observation. Sakura wanted to just lay here forever. Forget the Root shadow. Forget Danzo. Forget the council and Sajō and whomever it was that was colluding with the usurper Hokage. She just wanted to lie next to Gaara and forget the world. Or maybe she was more worried about getting too comfortable. The night was very, very late. She suppressed a yawn and had to physically stop herself from just flopping onto her back, in fear she’d fall asleep here and never wake up. Gaara, on the other hand, looked well rested. Or just not tired. Whichever.

She turned her gaze back to the stars. The blinking contrast between sparkles and darkness reminded her suddenly of her ink creatures. The light against the black ink sky. The way they seemed to fight each other for dominance. Yet nothing changed.

For almost a month, Sakura had been trying to find her way. Either a way out of the village or a way out of her own head. A path forward, made of the same stones as the ones in these gardens. And definitely not populated by the noisy nighttime carousers. But now, lying next to Gaara and wondering what this night would mean for their non-relationship, Sakura knew suddenly what to do. It was so very clear now.

She sat up straight and turned to face her fake fiancé turned real date, surprising him. He mirrored her movements, openly curious.

“Gaara,” she said. “I made ink creatures.”

Curiosity turned to confusion on his face. “Creatures?”

“Yes, chakra infused creatures made of ink.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her but remained silent.

“They’re hiding in my bathroom right now,” she added, knowing how weird that sounded.

“Why?”

“Why did I make them or why are they hiding?”

“Both.”

Sakura sighed. “I don’t think it’s a surprise that I didn’t choose to come here. Not under my own volition, anyway.” He nodded. “I… have wanted to leave the moment I arrived.” He didn’t look surprised. “The past few years all I could think of was getting away from Danzo. Especially the last six months, with him sending me on suicide runs.”

Gaara’s eyes widened. “He–”

“Let me get this out, please?”

He nodded again.

She cleared her throat. “I’m an idiot though. Every chance I got to get away, I squandered. Every moment in which I could slip away unseen, I freeze like my life depends on it. On my last mission I almost did leave. I saw the Konoha gate come up as I approached… it was so achingly familiar but alien at the same time. Everything about the Leaf is so… wrong, now. I wanted to get away from it. But I didn’t. Couldn’t bring myself to.” She sighed. “I guess I’m just as useless–”

“Stop.” Gaara scowled at her. “Don’t say that.”

Sakura hadn’t answered his question yet, but he suddenly didn’t seem to care. He rose to his knees and took her hands in his. They were warm and safe and not what she would’ve thought possible. Not for her.

“Sakura…” he trailed off for a moment. “it’s called self-sabotage. People do it to themselves, for years at a time even. It doesn’t make them useless. Or stupid. Or any other thing you’re thinking about yourself right now. None of that is true. I… spoke with a civilian therapist,” he said quickly, and she realised her surprise must’ve registered on her face.

A civilian therapist?

“I know what you’re talking about,” she said. “Its clinical term is Behavioural Dysregulation.”

It was a conscious (or unconscious) habit of doing things that were bad for oneself. It didn’t take a degree in clinical psychology to have heard of it, she supposed. Sakura had done quite a lot of reading on that subject, and similar, before everything went to shit. Lady Tsunade had wanted to begin incorporating mind healing into Konoha’s medical training facility.

Sakura gave a sad smile at that memory.

“Do you think…” Gaara cleared his throat. “You’d talk to one too? About… everything.”

Sakura pulled a face. “I don’t think a civilian would understand.”

The one Tsunade had proposed would’ve included both civilian and ninja therapists, though.

“Right.”

She watched Gaara closely as he released her hands and turned his head away. What he was looking at, she couldn’t tell. But his silence had an air of disappointment and contemplativeness to it.

Well, this sucks.

“I created them to scout out the village.”

He looked at her sharply.

At least he’s looking at me now.

“So, I could see the weakness in the guard patrols and escape.”

“Have you?”

She shook her head. There was no relief on his face, only contemplation. And… was he curious about them?

She decided to presume he was. “You want to see them?”

“I’m curious.”

Sakura flushed. “O-okay.”

They stood quickly and awkwardly. For a moment, neither of them moved, but then the warmth of his hand enveloped hers; his free arm snaking around her waist and holding her tightly. Gaara teleported them directly into her bedroom. Sakura trembled lightly as her feet hit the floor, but whether from nerves or the return of her libido she wasn’t sure. Her skin tingled, so maybe it was excitement. She pulled out of his grip quickly.

“Wait here,” she said and Gaara obeyed. She rushed into the bathroom and low and behold, the bird and snake were still holding onto the carcass.

Snake, she thought. I’ll call the ink snake ‘snake’ and the real, dead one ‘serpent’.

But the question that she needed to answer, and quickly before Gaara grew impatient, was whether or not to bring both. Sakura still wanted to keep secrets from him. She liked him. She trusted him. But she also didn’t trust her faith in him. Some things she just didn’t want to share.

But I told him I made creatures. As in, plural.

She sighed. She could always make more, anyway.

“Let go of the carcass,” she said softly, hoping Gaara didn’t have superhuman hearing. The ink bird released its hold while the snake curled its body for a moment, tightening the hold like a child refusing to behave. Then it was releasing it, dropping the carcass carelessly.

As she stood up, Sakura caught the reflection of herself in the bathroom mirror. It was very different to the underfed and ghastly image she’d seen the last time. She paused then smiled and turned away.

“Come on,” she told them, and the bird hopped along the floor after her. The snake seemed hesitant, and Sakura wondered if maybe she’d done something wrong.

She reached down to grab it, and it quickly wrapped its body around her arm gently as she left the bathroom. The bird twittered as it followed and then screeched at the sight of Gaara. He raised an eyebrow at it. Sakura had no idea it could do that. It didn’t have a syrinx, or any kind of noise making membranes, in its windpipe or otherwise. She wondered if it was just because of her. Sai had never mentioned anything about his creations having the ability to make noise, let alone having personalities.

I’m cracked so they are too.

It made no sense, but she supposed it didn’t matter.

It’s probably all just in my head.

Gaara watched them curiously. Sakura watched him nervously. He made no reaction to the noises the bird was making so she decided it was just all in her head. Even if he did twitch slightly when it went to peck him. Fake birds were not faster than a Kazekage. She decided to give him a rundown of her intentions with the creatures. He listened with rapt attention and Sakura found herself becoming more and more excited that someone was hearing this. Finally. She was rambling but it was kind of fun to have someone else to share this with.

“You used them to scout the village perimeter?” He asked when her rambling finally came to an end.

Sakura nodded, unable to stop the flush from heating up her neck. Was it okay that she’d done that? Probably not. But he didn’t seem put out. Maybe he was thinking about how it could help with that councillor? Or the entire council. Or maybe it was just her wishful thinking.

“What will you do with them now?”

So much for him thinking of this strategically.

“I want to help you.”

Gaara stood and walked over to her. He stopped inches in front of her. The movement could be confused with an attempt to intimidate her, but she knew he wouldn’t do that. Instead of trying to stare her down or talk her out of it, he reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. The small part of her that still responded to romantic and kind gestures was weak at the knees right now. Not the rest of her. Just the girlish side. She swallowed heavily, overwhelmed with gratitude.

“Okay,” he said finally.

“Okay?”

He smiled. “Okay.”

Sakura laughed. “Okay.”

The way he was looking at her… she desperately wanted to kiss him. Or for him to kiss her. But she knew he wouldn’t. Gaara would not presume such a forward action. He was poised. He was a gentleman. But gods did she want him to toss that aside and just fucking snog her. Maybe get in a few gropes and pelvis grinding.

Sakura forced herself to relax, realising she’d tensed up the more she contemplated the idea of Gaara pressing her against the wall. He didn’t look fazed by her weird demeanour. The snake tightened itself around her arm for a moment, but she ignored it. It wasn’t important. Trying to figure out whether or not to grab the Kazekage and pull his face down to meet her in a soul-searing kiss was important.

She cleared her throat.

“It’s late,” he said suddenly. “I should go.”

There was a flush on his face she’d overlooked in her internal musing. She was proud of herself for that. But her stomach clenched at the thought of letting him leave right now. She nodded though. It was very late. They were both going to be sleeping in a little longer in the morning.

All that does is make me wonder what he looks like first thing in the morning. Fuck.

What were the protocols here? Kiss him on the cheek? On the mouth? Make-out heavily then act like it was no big deal? Pepper him with kisses along his jawline, down to his neck and… fuck.

Focus.

Gods. Her libido again. She wanted to give into it so bad. But Gaara wasn’t moving, and she had to make a decision. She decided to just go with a peck on the cheek. It could be excused away much easier. Sakura stood higher to peck his cheek softly but couldn’t bring herself to pull away once her lips touched him. The warmth of his skin, the bright tinging of his ears; he was as excited as she was. That’s what she told herself. Why else would her lips against him make him blush?

Maybe I could…

She took a chance and turned her face towards his. They were closer than they’d ever been, now breathing in each other’s air. Sakura remained on her tiptoes. Gaara lowered his head slightly, but not far enough.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

When he licked his lips, she knew. Sakura tilted her chin up, angled her head to keep from knocking their noses together and pressed her lips to his softly. Their eyes closed at the same time. She parted her lips to envelop his then tugged on his bottom lip gently before pulling away completely. At the last moment, he’d opened his mouth slightly in a gasp.

No tongues were used in the making of this fucking perfect first kiss.

It was a chaste way to the end the night and despite her body wanting, no demanding more, she maintained their newfound distance, pressing a hand against his chest as they both recovered from it. Gaara had responded to her kiss, albeit in a small way. That was enough. She would continue this with him later, now that she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. It was late and she was suddenly very, very tired.

After a few moments, he hastily repeated his goodbyes in that cool but cute bumbling way she’d learned to love and left.

She smiled widely. For the first time for a long time, Sakura could say she was profoundly happy.

.:.

#GaaSaku #fanfiction #my fanfiction #A Beautiful Lie

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jaeminlore · 2 years

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surface pressure | mark lee

[mark tries to relieve some stress. romance. interior decorating. alt version on ao3 is also mine]

It’s not hard to notice that you’re stressed. Mark doesn’t need to be a superhero to notice the bags under your eyes, the tenseness of your shoulders, the way you always do things without being asked. Things that someone else should be doing.

You’ve confessed it to him before, in little fragments when you didn't think it was a huge deal like “My mom expected me to have the house cleaned by the time she got home from work, even though I had a job too.” and “I got sick of staring at my roommates’ dirty dishes so I just did them.”

Mark has always done his best to remind you that it’s not your job to save others from their own doing. But still, you insist, this fear pricking it’s way up your throat that you may be held responsible for the doing of others. And it’s not without reason: you’ve been held responsible before.

Now that the two of you finally have your own place, Mark has done his absolute best to lift the burden, but you’re so damn stubborn. By the time he returns home from his classes or his job, you already have the house clean, and his laundry washed, and for God’s sake you’ll even reorganize the kitchen if you're antsy enough.

This week has been interesting. You and Mark have been in the process of unpacking and decorating. After a Christmas bonus from your boss, you and Mark had purchased new decor for your shared space, so that the two of you could make it your own. See, even with your own money, you spend it partly on someone else.

Mark wants you to be selfish. But he knows there’s not a selfish bone inside of you, so he’s going to have to beat you at your own game.

The house is slightly cluttered with moving boxes, old decor, and the new decor you’ve just bought. Tomorrow is your first day off for the first time in a while, and you’ve casually mentioned to Mark that you’re going to spend it unpacking and cleaning the house.

Mark Lee is going to die before he lets that happen.

He waits until you’ve left for work, and then he’s turning on his favorite 90’s r&b playlist. He labels the boxes, takes his time between organizing what needs to go on shelves and what needs to be sent off for donation. He leaves the decor the two of you had bought in a tidy box on top of the coffee table, because he knows decorating is something you wouldn’t want him to do without you.

He vacuums the rugs, and refills the cat's food bowl. He cleans out the fridge and takes out the trash. There is an entire drawer of candles you’ve picked up, having liked the scents, so Mark picks up one he recalls liking and lights it, setting it on the center of the table. He straightens the placemats (he finds it adorable that you leave the table set every night, even when the two of you usually take your dinners to the couch.)

He wipes down the counter, using minimal products the way you like to. He cleans the toilet. He gathers all the trash in your shared bedroom and makes the bed. He folds the orange throw blanket you got him and sets it on the edge of the bed, so your cat can cuddle against it the way she likes.

When he’s sure you’re on your way home, he orders pizza. He turns on the television and sets your favorite show on pause. He’s so giddy and excited for you to get home, he thinks he could burst.

The house smells of garlic and vanilla when you walk in through the door. You pause in the doorway, bundled so sweetly in your scarf and jacket. You look at the lack of clutter and furrow your brows. “I thought– I thought you worked late today.”

“I took the day off.”

He rushes up to you and helps you take off your jacket, quick to hang it on the hook. Before you can take off your scarf, he grabs the frayed edges and pulls you close to him, so that your forehead presses to his.

You hum warmly. “You’re so sweet, Mark.”

Mark grins, flushed with praise. It's almost embarrassing, how much he likes pleasing you. And yet, he can't find it in himself to change. "I left the decor out so we could decorate tomorrow. I figured you’d rather spend your day off decorating than unpacking.”

Your eyes tear up. You look at the sleeves to see that he’s taken down everything you guys have decided to give away or get rid of. “Mark… You work so hard…”

“No,” Mark swiftly kisses your cheek. “You work hard. And you take on too much. I want you to start leaning on me more, okay? You’re not carrying this alone.”

You nod, shyness washing over you. When you wrap your arms around Mark’s middle, he can feel the tenseness leave your muscles. “Thank you so much.”

“Hush,” he orders. “No more thanking me. Don’t ever think you don’t deserve this, okay? I want to take care of our home. I want to take care of you.”

The two of you eat pizza, and while you watch the tv screen, Mark watches you.

The sweetness of your laugh. The way you munch on your food. Your hair and your clothes and the way you wipe your fingers on a napkin. “C’mere,” he says.

Selfish, he knows, but he interrupts your eating to draw you into his lap. Your weight atop his thighs grounds him like noticing else. He peers up at you, and he knows he’s got that look in his eyes that you always make fun of. You’ve often told him that he looks lovesick, and that’s exactly what he is. He tucks your hair back behind your ears so he can see your face. “You’re incredible. And I know you can do things by yourself, but you don’t have to, okay? Not with me.”

You nod, bowing your head to avert his gaze. “Yeah, I know.”

He holds your face, and rubs his thumb across your jaw. Your eyelids flutter closed. “I’m not fussing at you. Promise. I’m so proud of you, and I’ll be just as proud of you if you take time to rest.”

He pulls your face to his and kisses you sweetly, reveling in the softness of your mouth and the lovely, lovely sounds that escape you. He loves the way you melt against him, the way you trust him to take care of the burdens you’ve held onto for so long. He’s Mark Lee after all, he can handle it.

You tuck your face against his neck, cuddling as close to him as you can. “I love you,” you mumble sleepily.

He kisses your head, feeling accomplished. “I love you more.”

#mark lee fluff #destwrites

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books-and-catears · 2 years

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Avatar of Chaos:

Setting the Stage (4)

Taglist: @tanspostsblog @kurisu55 @your-highness-lev @attackonhoseok @justeclem44

<- Chap 3 // Chap 5 ->

"Diavolo? Lucifer? You there?"

Your voice alarmed Barbatos. He saw you peeking into the council room with an innocent smile on your face. How many terrible intentions did that smile hide...?

"Ah MC is here! Come on in!" Diavolo called cheerily, patting the seat next to him. Lucifer also gave you a warm smile.

"Look I got a perfect score in Seductive Speechcraft!" You held up your graded report, waving it around as you entered.

Barbatos' eyes followed you cautiously. You gave his shoulder a little squeeze and bent down to whisper to him. "Don't worry. I won't hurt your precious master. I promised didn't I?"

You say that right after showing your score in speechcraft? Is this a warning or a taunt?

"Congratulations, MC. That makes you the only other person to get the perfect score in speechcraft." Lucifer says, nodding approvingly.

"Oh? Who was the first one?" You asked, tilted your head to the side.

"Lucifer, of course!" Diavolo gestured with gusto towards an blushing Lucifer who tried to stop him from embarrassing him further.

"Can you also tell if someone is using it on you?" You prodded further. Barbatos was puzzled by this line of questioning.

"Indeed. I can always tell. One must be cautious around enchanted persuasion. In fact," Lucifer half-smiled as he reached for some paper next to you, "You should be careful yourself."

Only you knew how much strength it took to not start laughing in his face. Pride indeed. What a suitable sin for his over inflated ego.

"Thank you, Lucifer. I'll keep that in mind." You smiled as you arranged your share of accounts to compile. "Oh! I almost forgot! I have an idea for the annual school play!"

"Finally! Thank you, MC." Diavolo looked relieved. "I asked the brothers for advice too but they came up with rather strange concepts of live heists, cosplay rom-com, lingerie photoshoot and competitive eating and sleeping."

"Each one of them is getting more ridiculous day by day." Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just last night Satan suggested we do some musical from the human world called 'Cats'. I was appalled by the movie he showed me."

You stifled a laugh. "Well they always do suggest whatever they like most. But I hope my suggestion won't be too much."

"Oh please, MC. You're the only sensible in that mad house. Please go ahead. Even your worst idea will be twenty times more reasonable than theirs." Lucifer urged.

You glanced at Barbatos. And he finally looked away from you. From here on, he wasn't supposed to interfere.

"I take it from the smile on your face, they loved the idea." Solomon waited for you by the R.A.D gates.

You nodded. "Diavolo already sent the itinerary to the school newspaper club to set the word. Its as good as done."

"Well then what's next?"

"Ah the next task is easier. You have to keep me busy for the next two weeks."

Solomon furrowed his brow. "Busy? How?"

"Call me out for some plan or the other. Going shopping or flower picking for your potions? Ask me to come along. Read about a new spell you liked? Ask to teach me. And on weekends you can suggest sleepovers."

"I have to keep you away from them don't I? You want to stay out of their house. Well then you must be prepared to save me from the brothers' anger."

You fiddled your fingers as if you were holding strings. Strings that hold and make the puppets dance. "What else are these pacts for?"

"I still can't believe you managed to convince Barbatos to keep your secret. What hold do you have on him?"

You shrugged as you walked on. "I didn't threaten him per se. I guess he noticed he couldn't find anymore versions of me he could replace me with."

"Why wouldn't he able to- wait you couldn't possibly break all the-" Solomon couldn't even comprehend such a thing.

"I could actually. I broke the links to every alternate timeline where Belphie didn't kill me. So the only versions of me he'll find are already six feet under. Isn't it hilarious?!"

You chuckled and skipped in glee, clapping your hands together like a child getting excited about their first ever road trip.

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me imagine #obey me angst #obey me Diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me fic #obey me dark #obey me imagines

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yourthoughtsjim · 1 year

Text

Aftershocks

Mack x reader

Sequel to Find Her

Warnings: murder, yandere behavior, blood

You awake to find Mack gone from his spot in the bed. It wasn’t all that unusual. Sometimes he’d get woken up to his phone going off and it being one of the crew trying to get a hold of him for something. But this time it was strange. His phone was still on the nightstand. With groggy eyes and mind, you rise from the bed. You make your way down to the living room, where you think you would find him. He wasn’t there either.

You’d gone room to room looking for him, but he was no where to be found. You had started to get worried. It had been a few weeks since you had been taken. The thought of which drove Mack almost insane. He was so worried that it would happen again. He started to get cautious of people around you. Thinking that any one of them could have nefarious intentions.

One day while at the store, someone accidentally bumped into you. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but he thought otherwise. He’d took note of how the person looked, their face, build, down to every last detail. As the two of you walked through the store, he’d watch the person like a hawk. You had left the store at the same time, so he let his gaze travel to the license plate of the vehicle they were driving.

Mack waited for your bedtime, when you told him if he was going to be joining you, he said he had something to take care of. Thinking nothing of it, you went and got cozy for the night, expecting him to be there later that night.

With some rage in his eyes, he had found the person that had grazed your arm earlier. Walking up to the door of the persons house, he knocked on it. Behind his back, he held an axe. As soon as the door was answered, and Mack took a good look at the figures face, he started swinging. No screams were let out, no noises. Mack wanted to make sure of that.

After he had finished the goal, he set out to do, he throws the body over his shoulder and dumps it into the bed of his truck. The catharsis he felt in his body was overwhelming as he sat there letting out a loud laugh.

On the ride back, he could feel the blood of the victim drip down his face and hands as his hands had an iron grip on the steering wheel. Finally arriving home, he enters the house with the axe in hand, still fresh with blood. He was met with your terrified face. His gaze was met with yours. “Mack, what did you do?” You ask in meek voice. “I told you I had to take care of something.” He responds as he was now closing in on your space.

A tremble ran through your body “T-That didn’t answer my question.” You remark. He had now crowded you into a wall “Oh, kitten. I did this for you. I’m not about to loose you when I just got you back.” He replies. Your eyes flash with fear as you realize what exactly he had done. “Mack, this isn’t you. You’re not like this.” You state, tears now streaming down your face. “Oh, but I am now. You’re mine and no one else’s.” He, himself, states as his blood-soaked hand caresses your cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mack woke up in a cold sweat, heart racing. He was in his spot in the bed. He looks down and sees his hands are completely clean. He then looks over to you, who is sleeping sound. His mind running rampant with the images he saw. You open one eye and see him sitting there, rocking back and forth slightly. “Babe, what’s wrong?” You question in a hoarse voice. “I-I had a dream, nightmare to be more accurate. I killed someone because I thought they were going to hurt you.” He replies.

Sitting up, you embrace him “It wasn’t real.” You respond. “I know it wasn’t, but it felt real. I, I don’t want to turn into that version of myself. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I-I don’t know. I’m scared, y/n. What if that happens one day. What if I do hurt someone, or worse, hurt you?” He inquires now looking at you with tears in his eyes. “Mack, you won’t. You have all these great people around you. You won’t hurt anyone, and you especially won’t hurt me.” You state running a hand down his cheek.

The words you spoke seemed to calm him down a bit. Standing up, you start to head downstairs. “Where are you going?” Mack asks in a shaky voice. “I’m going to make us some hot chocolate.” You respond. His fearful demeaner subsided as he got up to follow you. The two of you made your way to the kitchen. Getting out everything you needed, you make the hot chocolate. Sitting down at the table, you two talk about whatever all night.

#matpat #mack #mack x reader #in space with mack

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pokemoneverlastingorchard · 2 years

Text

Update 8/14/22

A lot of personal things have been happening in my life. Good personal things, (like my husband having a week off work, my mother-in-law renewing her vows with her husband, my birthday, and my mom getting a chinchilla and needing help setting the cage up to name a few) but still things.

I also tried to get something done in this game. Asked for help, got part of an answer and basically got a “bean dad” answer when I asked more questions. (They’d give me a link that didn’t answer any of my questions and told me to “figure it out yourself,” basically.) That wasted a couple days of my life.

There’s more birthdays and my wedding anniversary coming up, so expect more delays.

Download

Glitch fixes(?):

-I may have fixed the fourth gym’s puzzle by doing what I should’ve done a while ago.

-I can’t exactly fix the “Fixnum“ glitch that happens sometimes when you try to go to sleep without knowing what it is that’s causing it, but I can try to isolate the problem. I put some of the code into a separate event that activates by touch before you leave your room. I’ll gradually add more pieces of code to that one for every time somebody reports that glitch to isolate the problem more so I can finally figure out what’s causing it.

Story:

+Finished the pre-marriage scripts for:

Umeko

Rebecca

Features:

-Apparently I could control the clock based on hours this entire time. Wow. So now when you’re within the farm/beach/forest/mountain/town area the thing that would say “day/midday/afternoon/etc” will now have an hour. (Based on the 12 hour clock. I might add a 24 hour clock or the option to switch to one later.) If you leave those areas they’ll change back to saying day/midday/etc.

This doesn’t actually change much of anything. The schedules are still based on the sun, except now almost everything in town closes at 1AM. The exceptions are:

The EV Training building, because it’d be annoying if you’d have to wait a few minutes just to train your Pokemon in a Pokemon game.

The Pokemon Center, of course.

The library, for reasons I can’t say without spoiling anything.

The clinic will now be open for 24 hours, just in case I need it to be for a cutscene or something. (Kenichi will still be there if you pass out at night because I don’t know how much room it’d take to have it change by the hour.)

Does this mean that I’ll be giving people more detailed schedules? That’s very likely... In the “expanded” version, so not anytime soon, and not in the smaller version of the game.

-You can now get the Sail and Jaw fossil in the rocks in the Augusta Cave every 20 levels. (Besides 80 and 100. You can find rocks in 81 though. 80′s map is just too small to hold any objects.) You can revive them in the copy & pasted institute in Tellus. It can “be very complicated” to add items to the mining mini game so I’m not going to try that.

Blog:

I edited the “schedule” page somewhat:

The Augusta Cave’s page has also be edited.

Misc:

-Deleted the Path Finder script that I still had for some reason. I tried it once so the characters aren’t just teleporting around and it crashed RPG Maker so bad I couldn’t “x” out of it and I had to restart the computer if I wanted to use the Maker again. So this will probably make the game slightly smaller maybe.

-For some reason I had two copies of the Nemorensis store maps. I deleted the one that wasn’t being used, so there’s 7 less maps, which is good because maps takes up a lot of space.

-If you stay in something that usually closes after a certain time, or in a house during a time nobody’s home, you’ll get kicked out at that time. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize that you could stay inside of a place forever. I believe I made sure that you’ll be in front of the same house you entered, but I may have forgotten to make sure that your character does that for some of the exits.

-You can no longer enter Rebecca’s or Esmaralda’s houses when nobody’s home.

#pokemon fan game #pokemon essentials #pokemon everlasting orchard #pokemon eo update #pokemon

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jimmycartersufo · 24 days

Text

this is me having the Tuesday foh museum employee version of Sunday scaries. I love using tumblr as a sort of diary right now especially when writing my hand causes pain!

the last two weeks of work have been especially rough and this week I have some tough stuff to get through that I'm nervous about but it'll be OK. I just struggled with the unknown. time always moves too quickly this time of year and I'm desperate to hold on to my days off because I am so burnt out. the problem is when you're in between those biweekly checks and you're broke as hell but also it's been pouring down rain. I can't help but feel bad and guilty when I do nothing. I didn't do just nothing, I took care of my mom today and I've rested a lot but it still feels weird and bad.

I'm almost back to being in the green for my sick time. I used up all my sick time and my boss had payroll give me negative sick time which was a life saver. I miss my boss so much. everything has gone to shit without her. but she deserves so much better. clearly. anyway, in a couple weeks I'll start to see actual sick time build up again. and on July 1 I'll get more pto 🤡 but thankfully at least Juneteenth falls on a Wednesday so we will have a three day weekend. The museum won't pay it's workers more or respect their security dept (which is historically and systematically Black) but they will do land acknowledgements if they happen to put up a work by a Native person (aka no permanent land acknowledgement lol) and they'll give us Juneteenth off with pay. oh and back of house gets more pto than foh but I'm not here to list alllllll of my complaints rn. but we as a team are counting down the days so we can have a three day weekend. like yeah holiday pay on a day we already have off (every gov holiday that falls on a Monday) but would rather have a floating holiday for more pto. abyway I should hopefully have some sick time built up in a couple months to take a day off for rest.

falling behind on chores again. desp need to spring clean dust because ofc I have to be a maximalist autistic. still need to wash my beach combing finds from a few weeks ago. still need to hang stuff up. the most I can do is pick up a little. do a load of laundry but share the labor with my husband because we don't have the capacity for either or alone. do dishes maybe. make breakfast, lunch, and John makes dinner. take care of mom which is hard sometimes but more than anythjng it has to be done and I can trick my brain into not being an asshole about it. make the bed but in a more "lazy" way. take care of myself and stick to my barely there routine. medicine with alarms, brush teeth, set out the clothes I want to wear at least a day ahead but two days if possible. shower when it's been too long. lotion on my face and my arms and my legs if I can tolerate it. drink water. try and keep my salt levels up. stretches even if it's in bed. my daily puzzles. learn something new (read an article and or a wiki page).

at least tomorrow we get paid. I have to save money for when we go to an Orioles game soon. need to figure out when and how and where we are viewing the eclipse. grocery shopping. taking care of mom if dad is working late/in traffic. look over what bills are do this check. thankfully we get paid I think three times this month? JK it's may we get three paychecks but thankfully I get paid the week of my mom's birthday!!!!!!

I work on late shift this month. bad because no extra money but good because I am so fucking exhausted. I'm basically a sorta manager without all the manager roles and Def not the pay. but that's basically what I am now. thinking about it makes me sick. I goofed up somewhere to end up here with this responsibility. but also it was happenstance. I understand that. and that I have been masking so well for so long.

it's autism awareness day. I am autistic. I am finally feeling right with that. it's been over a year now, and I've spent that time reflecting on my life and the way I am. I was lucky that my sister has been in programs and I basically knew a guy that knew a guy that knew a guy. but I don't have like, a therapist or anthring to guide me through the realities of hey you're autistic and this is why you think and do xyz. I wish I listened to autistic friends years ago that said hey you're autistic and I was like no not me, I don't do this thing but the thing is a lot of those things I didn't think I did I literally did not understand the questioning which is funny. I can't really think of a good example but like you read a question like do you struggle to make eye contact and irs like yes but only in certain circumstances like when I don't know someone but you don't have the way to answer with nuances so you just say no. not the best example but it's like that. what's so interesting about being diagnosed late is you start to kind a breakdown the safety nets of masking and then it seems like you're faking because you're doing all this stuff not in private anymore, like you're regressing or something and it's like no I was just playing a role.

today for dinner I had chicken nuggets and heinz pickle ketchup and we watched a video about being in wdw on 9/11 and I was like oh

rigut now I'm trying to follow my night routine but I'm so anxious to sleep. I did sleep in really late today after sleeping poorly and then getting up to take care of mom in the morning. I woke up just before noon after going back to bed about nine???? so I'm not very tired. I'm going to go figure out my lunch for tomorrow so I don't worry about it in the am and then I'm going to check the laundry and if it's dry enough get my favorite pair of undies (tomboyx boy shorts) and my favorite pants (green!!) and find a top and then make the bed comfy and then I'm gonna use my new neck massager even though I've probably used it too much today and I hope to find a nice wiki article to read :)))))))

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babyyweebbitch · 2 years

Text

slashers with a fem! s/o like Mileena

so i got bored and decided to make a slasher version of the yautja with a fem! s/o like mileena.

trigger warning: gore, blood, cannibalism,

disclaimer: i do not own or claim to own Mileena, mortal kombat, michael myers, thomas hewitt or bo sinclair. this is simply a fan writing for entertainment purposes only

**here is mileena (for those who forgot)**

michael myers

the way you both met was you beat him to a group of people before he did. you both were watching the group but you were faster in both getting and killing them. you took note of the man standing there and decided to toss him one of the peoples arm’s assuming he was hunting them because he was hungry, you gathered a few of the peoples limbs and teleported away just as fast as you came. michael was interested in you now and now he wouldn’t stop searching for you for the next two months. when he finally sees you again he kinda picks you up (after you get done clawing the fuck out of him) and takes you home. he basically kidnapped you — congratulations

after dating michael for a week or two michael found out very interesting details about you, that you weren’t human and that you’re actually way stronger and faster than him which surprised him. he went to grab you since you were trying to leave so you can go to tarkata or wherever it is you go. you managed to body slam him on the floor and hold your sai to his neck saying “you cannot keep me here against my will. remember who is stronger here”. michael two things right now — genuinely flabbergasted that you did that, nobody dared to do that to him and he’s even more attracted to you. now he never dares to stop you from leaving (mainly because you’re the only person who can actually kill him if you wanted to)

he hates whenever you go to tarkata or the other realms to do your work. not that he’s not supportive it’s just he’s scared that what if one day you don’t come back? what if you die or you decided you wanted to leave him and used tarkata as a hiding place from him. please reassure him that you’re not leaving him

there are times you ask him to go to tarkata with you, to meet the people there or help you fight in the other realms. he always says no because he doesn’t wanna leave Haddonfield, he’s never really left haddonfield because it’s all he’s known his entire life, he’d feel weird if he left

there was one time he accidentally walked in on you eating someone in the basement, this was the first time he’s ever been weirded out by something for one of two reasons. you were absolutely going to town on that person or he’s never witnessed/done cannibalism before. now he will never try it 😀

thomas hewitt

the way you both met was you actually had been living in his workspace for about two months before he finally discovered you, you were eating one of his victims like you haven’t eaten in 5 years. you two kinda stared at each other before you offered him a piece of the victim. he had no idea what to do. should he tell luda may? should he kill you? should he let you stay there? after a while of thinking he finally decided to let you stay

over the next few months you and thomas grew close and you stayed in the basement since it was nice and dark and nobody besides thomas came down, he let you have whatever the family didn’t eat (like the guys, brains or whatever went bad and they couldn’t eat). next thing you knew you were dating and now it was time for you to meet the family. Hoyt was being hoyt saying how you’ve been living in the house for almost a year rent free while Luda may was actually happy there was another girl in the house.

you are the only one who can shut hoyt the fuck up and everyone is glad but when you aren’t there they threaten hoyt with “don’t make me call Y/N and have her knock some sense into you”

you come and go as you please, now that you’re apart of the family you can run errands for Luda may whenever she doesn’t want to. she always gives you a list of things to get from the store at from the city like “whenever you get back from takin care of your business, please get the stuff on the list for me?” you always come back with way more than she says not that they’re complaining. they also don’t try to stop you after you almost killed Hoyt for actually grabbing you and saying you can’t leave. (top 10 near death experiences)

bo sinclair

the way you two met was the traditional “i need gas” situation but you weren’t driven up by Lester like usual which threw bo off for a second. you were trying to live a humans life for a bit so you can get away from your normal tarkatan/edenian lifestyle. you wore a mask to hide your teeth and normal human clothes to fit in. you walked into the gas station and asked for gas which Bo obviously said the pumps didn’t work and that he can take you to his house to get some. never in your years of life did you think you were gonna be asking for gas in a old town like this. he took you to the house and this is when shit went the complete opposite of what Bo wanted. his plan was to lure you into his house so Vincent can kill and make you wax but you outsmarted the both of them. after finding out what you actually were Bo thought he wouldn’t have to kill you but he could keep you so you can help around the town and help with luring victims into town or getting supplies for him in the city (this was longer than expected-)

after a year into being at Ambrose and helping around you and bo got close and started dating, when you first left ambrose to go back to your normal life of fighting and killing to survive Bo was genuinely scared that you actually didn’t go to tarkata and was convinced that the cops were gonna come and find out their secret. when you actually came back with no cops he was one, relived and two confused. that was your perfect chance to rat them out but you didn’t. he asked “why didn’t you rat us out…?” which you responded “i wouldn’t rat you out, i’d just eat you and burn this place to the ground” bo literally sat there like 👁👄👁

just like how you’re the only person who could body michael myers in one second, you’re the only person who can withstand Bo’s anger issues, bad temper and can actually shut him up whenever he’s yelling and breaking stuff. you also protect Vincent alot too even though he doesn’t really need it’s he’s been dealing with Bo’s horrible temper since they were kids but you think it’s not fair that vincent can be minding his own business and then bo is getting bad at him and picking on him.

you’ve tried to get Bo to go to tarkata with you but he said he doesn’t wanna leave ambrose unattended, you always suggest Vincent or Lester can do the work for you while you both are gone. you actually kinda convinced him to go with you once and oh lord this man almost got mauled the first 5 minutes of being there. you had to keep him next to you at all times or else Bo would be dead and Tarkatan food. after you two got back he said he’s never leaving ambrose again

✨bonus questions!✨

their favourite thing about you?

michael: the fact that you can body him every easily. not many people can do that because he’s stronger than an average person

thomas: your beauty. he can’t seem to take his eyes off you whenever he’s not busy. he’s so in love with you that he’s gonna drown in it

bo: the way you hold him whenever he’s not feeling okay. i have a headcannon that whenever Bo breaks down finally he wants to be held, it reminds him of how his mother would hold him on rare occasions. you hold him like you’re protecting him from the world (mainly because you are in a way)

their favourite activities to do with you?

michael: going out on hunts. he likes to see you in action and likes to watch you kill, it’s one of his favourite things to do

thomas: cuddling. thomas is a cuddle bug whenever he can be with you. with how your lives are (especially you) you two barely have time to just lay down and cuddle like you want to

bo: teaching you how to work on cars/work at the gas station. for bo working at the gas station/working on his car is a way to escape reality which is why whenever he’s done being angry he goes to the garage and works on cars. this is amazing for the both of you because you’re curious and he’s happy to teach you

if they go to Tarkata, what would they do?

michael: if he didn’t know how strong tarkatans were and how fast they can body him he’d try to kill one. but since he knows this information now he’s going to stay close to you and not fuck with anyone after meeting you he learned his lesson (surprisingly😀)

thomas: he most likely won’t go, after meeting you he couldn’t imagine how the other species would react to a human being there. he’s kinda glad you didn’t kill him and his family

bo: poor man almost died the first 5 minutes of being there, in tarkata they didn’t fuck around, if you even talk to one of the people the wrong way they won’t hesitate to fuck you up. so after that experience the entire two days you were there he didn’t leave your side at all, he actually held onto your arm or shirt just incase (this man was TRAUMATISED. it’s safe to assume he’s not gonna go back any time soon)

✨ bonus yautja (bc i didn’t do his in the yautja part): his attitude wouldn’t change at all but he would be extra cautious around them, he knows he can handle himself so he doesn’t really need to always be with you but he stays with you whenever you are exploring just in case

yay i finally finished it! 😎😎 it took a few hours but i did it! — nova

this is not proof read

#slashers #slashers x reader #slashers headcanons #michael myers headcanons #michael myers #michael myers x reader #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt headcanon #bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair headcanons #halloween franchise #texas chainsaw 3d #house of wax 2005 #✨nova✨

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unfoundhoney · 3 years

Text

a sister’s sacrifice ; part three ↠

↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst just angst

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;

↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat @bestioe @junoblad3 @machiebach @ok-honey

when considering the deaths of the people on the dream smp server, yours is the hardest

schlatt was detested by all when he’d died

few people still truly cared for wilbur when he met his end; the man he once was was long gone by then

but you

you never changed

you were a constant for so many & immovably kind to the rest

selfless, giving, caring

even when you just wanted an escape, you came to the aid of your brothers

you gave the ultimate sacrifice & paid the price

everyone mourns you

when the battle is won & dream locked away indefinitely

once everyone has come down from the high of freeing themselves from dream’s reign, the server goes into a state of grieving

there’s no denying your death

they all saw the message in chat

you’re dead

those that were close to you took it hard

niki was narrowly stopped from burning down the bakery you encouraged her to open and helped build

eret put her emotions into work on a memorial in their museum for you

even under the egg’s control, bad & ant put the eggpire aside for you

of course, those who took it the hardest is your family

when ghostbur learns of your death, he’s distraught

he doesn’t quite know how to handle the information

he protects your home & only allows people to enter when he supervises them

tommy took a while to move past his anger & deal with the fact that you’re gone

tubbo ran off to start snowchester

he chose to distract himself rather than truly process his emotions, even if you’d always done your best to break that habit of his

now that you’re not around, who’s to stop him from letting himself be numb to it all?

techno is another one of your family members who chose to barely acknowledge your passing

he became somehow more monotonous & emotionless

and phil

...

there’s no word for a parent who loses a child

wilbur was gone & of course it messed phil up to be the one to take will’s last life but by that point his son was gone

but you

you’d always been such a genuinely good person

phil did so little for you as a father

he was so absent

he never apologized to you for that

he never told you how much he loves & appreciates you & everything you’ve done to keep their family together when he couldn’t be bothered

it’s a few hours after he received the news from ranboo that all the guilt for everything he had ever put you through hit him

he broke down in his kitchen while trying to distract himself by organizing his cupboards

but all he could think about was you

you & your never ending kindness & compassion

he was never a father to you

yet you never hated him

why couldn’t you have hated him?

it would hurt less to lose you if you hated him; it’s what he deserves

he’s unworthy of your love

but he can only dwell so long on you

you are given a proper funeral

you’re buried by the seashore, somewhere between l’manberg and tommy’s abandoned vacation homes in an open field

the sever members plant so many flowers, your gravesite becomes a flower field

but soon, life goes on

it will only hurt for longer to draw out the mourning period

it would do no good for anyone

besides, you wouldn’t want the server to be sad for your sake

techno supposes it’s for the best that you died

he does his best to move on, filling his days with resource gathering and upgrading his tools, weapons, and armor while trying to think through his emotions logically

as much as he liked you

as much as everyone liked you, you were too good

you were the best of them

fate is not kind to heroes

“hello!”

technoblade is not an easy man to sneak up on, let alone scare

the greeting itself isn’t want startles him

it’s turning toward the voice to lock eyes with you

you who is dead

techno is not proud of the sound he made when he saw you but you of all people wouldn’t make fun of him for it

he just stares at you, slowly realizing what’s happened

you look desaturated, the color drained from your clothes

your skin is grey & almost translucent

you’re a ghost

“y/n.”

“hello! who are you?”

techno tells no on one of your ghost form

he even keeps the rest of the server a secret from you

he leads you to your old home & leaves you there w/ ghostbur

he hopes your and ghostbur’s combined amnesia will keep you out of harm’s way i.e. the rest of the server

he visits you occasionally but mostly leaves you be

you live happily with ghostbur for a while

he is very glad to have you back

his memory is nearly as bad as yours, so the story of the server & what happened to you when you were alive is only given to you in bits & pieces that are near impossible to fit together

it was only a matter of time before someone came to visit your house

“...y/n?”

it’s tubbo who finds you first

or he finds your ghost

(tubbo) y/n! oh my god! you’re a ghost! you’ve come back!

(you) hello! *whispers* ghostbur, who is this?

(ghostbur, whispering obviously) that’s tubbo, one of your other brothers i’ve told you about

(you, whispering) oh, right

(tubbo) how long have you- oh, this is incredible! i have to tell tommy! he’s been so sad since you died; he’ll be so glad to see you!

tubbo messages tommy, who is skeptical but reluctantly comes to your house anyway

but there you are

your ghost anyway

which is good enough, honestly

(tommy) y/n!

you catch him in a hug easily, even if you’ve never met him before

(tommy) you’re alive!

(you) no i’m not. i’m a ghost!

techno happens to check in on you when tubbo & tommy are there

bad news for technoblade: you’d told them about techno leading you here

meaning: tommy knows techno hid you from him & everyone else

needless to say, he is not too happy about that

(tommy) you hid her! you kept her away from us!

(techno) tommy, you have to understand-

(tommy) i don’t have to understand shit! you hid her from us! you lied to us!

(techno) tommy-

(tommy) you kept her from everyone! you’re selfish and you’re a liar and you’re horrible and-

(techno) i did it to protect her! she’s been hurt enough protecting others; it’s our turn to protect her. the only way we can do that is by leaving her alone

(tommy) she’s my sister

(techno) your sister is dead, tommy. for once in her life, let her have peace

tommy gives up on techno & goes to you instead

(tommy) y/n! y/n, we can bring you back. we can revive you. well, dream can revive you but he’s in prison so he has to do what we say so we can bring you back. we can be a family again. don’t you want to come back?

(you) ...no

that

...

that isn’t what tommy was expecting

(tommy) what?

(you) if alive y/n comes back, i won’t exist anymore. and i’ve only just got here. i don’t want to go yet

(tommy) don’t you understand how much y/n means to me? y/n has to come back. she has to. she’s so important. not just to me but to, um... tubbo as well! right, tubbo? don’t you want y/n back?

tommy looks to tubbo for some backup but the shorter boy looks away

(tubbo) i think we need to let y/n go, tommy

the betrayal that fills tommy’s chest is soon gone as he locks eyes with techno

tommy knows techno is right

you’re too much of a good person

you’re too willing to sacrifice yourself for others

even as a ghost your kindness is blinding

this server will only drain you of everything you have yet again

he will drain you of everything you are

he’s just tried to convince you to cease to exist to bring back the former version of yourself

(you) i’m sorry. it’s just- i’ve heard there are these really pretty blue flowers in the swamp biome that i haven’t got to see yet-

(tommy) no. it’s fine. i’m sorry. i-... i should go.

tommy leaves your house & tubbo goes with him

even if tubbo caught on a bit sooner to techno’s reasoning, he’s still concerned at his friend’s sudden change in character

(tubbo) tommy... are you alright?

(tommy) ...i really want her back

(tubbo) i do, too. but she’s gone

(tommy) she doesn’t have to be

tubbo can’t argue with that

(tommy) but... maybe it’s for the best

(tubbo) really?

(tommy) yeah.

(tubbo) but just earlier you were telling me about your plan to get the revive book from dream

(tommy) techno’s right, tubbo. all everyone- myself included- has ever done to y/n is take. and she’s given everything

(tubbo) because she loved us

(tommy) as much as she loved us and as much as we loved her... the only thing we’ve ever brought her is pain. i think now... now is her time to rest.

(tubbo) ...that’s very pog champ of you, big man

tommy had planned to visit dream as many times as it took to get the revive book location off of him so he could revive you, but now he’s accepted that he needs to move on

he needs to move on from you & dream & everything dream has put him through

he decides to pay one last visit to dream, put him behind him, & never look back

he’s ready to start a new chapter in his life, one without dream

and the first one without you

but then he’s locked in the prison

two weeks pass

nearing three weeks & tommy still isn’t allowed out of dream’s cell

he’s irritated and annoyed and most of all he’s scared

but he can’t let dream know he’s still afraid of him, that’s why he pisses dream off enough to the point of being beat to death

tommy begs him to stop

but then he’s gone

everything is dark

black

empty

nothing

is this what death is?

conscious in absolute nothingness?

tommy’s feet feel the ground beneath him

his senses come back to him

it’s still dark but he feels as though he can see again

where is he?

heaven?

no, probably hell

or maybe neither?

both...?

what the hell happened?

the first thing to break the silence is the voice tommy has known since he was an infant

the voice of the person who raised him

the voice of the person who has always been there for him

the voice of the person who he has finally let go of

your voice

saying one simple word

“tommy?”

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diosmio76 · 3 years

Text

What I Deserve (2) | soft Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky couldn’t believe his luck when he found you. So innocent, so alone, and so naive. He had been following you throughout the week, hell- he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore and you never noticed him once.

Pairing: Dark!Bucky x Reader

WARNINGS: +18, dub-con, needle use, stalking, fingering, kidnapping, kind of non-con (more dub-con but just incase)

Word Count: 3,076

A/N: my timeline on which version of Barnes is fucked up and a mix of everything honestly // my first ever time writing smut, and honestly I'm open to constructive criticism b/c I have no experience in this area LOLZ

You squeezed your eyes as you stretched your body. Feeling your comforter rise and fall against your skin from your movements. You hung your feet off your bed and stretched them before standing up. You did your usual set of morning stretches, were they done correctly? Probably not, but it was the thought that counts and the only form of self-care you gave yourself. You let out a sigh as you got ready for another day similar to all the rest. You don’t even remember what it felt like to be excited about waking up, but who were you to complain. You used the toilet as you went back and forth in your mind about nothing in particular, your eyes staring at your bed that was quickly losing the warmth it collected from your body. Once done in the bathroom you dragged yourself to your vanity, hearing the faint noise of cars on the street, you began getting ready for work. After changing and grabbing your tattered work bag, you began your journey with all the other commuters.

The day dragged on like any other, talking to coworkers only when they needed something from you. Hearing the usual remarks of “Oh, I didn’t notice you” or “I didn’t even see you there”, you got used to it but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you. Before you had time to dwell on it, it was time to go home. You packed your bag then began your walk home, following the same route you always take during the week. Taking a little solstice in the fact that you were just another face in the crowd, that fact made you feel as if everyone else was alone too. Once home you locked the door and dropped your bag, heading to the bedroom you changed into an oversized shirt and put on your slippers before heading towards the living room. You turned on the tv and lowered the volume for some background noise, making the short trip towards the kitchen to make dinner. You rarely got messages on your phone unless it was from your mom or your phone provider wanting you to update your old phone, so you scrolled mindlessly through various social media newsfeeds. You munched on a vegetable as you waited for your pan to heat up. You tried to not feel bad for yourself, you were the one to blame for the lack of social life but you were in too deep. Too set in your ways. You stared at the steaming pan as you imagined moving across the country.

“Yeah right” you said aloud to yourself as you finished cooking your dinner, eating the food but not really tasting it.

~~~

You repeated the same routine the next day, unbeknownst to you today was the day that Bucky decided you were ready. It didn’t take him long to find a house isolated by miles of forest. Despite its unassuming traditional exterior, the inside was modern as he enjoyed the impersonal nature that the style provided. He spent the majority of his time there making sure the house was locked and secure in case you tried anything. The thought made him laugh a little, knowing you didn’t have it in you but he didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been going his way lately, and finding you was like the universe was rewarding him even more. At first, he considered getting to know you, and doing the whole flowers and dates thing but decided he didn’t have the patience for all that waiting, he’s been waiting long enough and he deserved something good. He settled on a much easier method. Breaking in was easy, old apartments like this barely gave him any trouble. He even had someone hold the building door open for him, just his luck.

The lock felt weird when you opened your door but you didn’t think anything of it, dismissing it as another sign of the building’s old age. He watched from afar as you went about your usual routine. He was beginning to become skeptical at how oblivious you were. He was practically behind you and you hadn’t even looked over your shoulder once. He even made some accidental noises by stepping on squeaky floorboards and didn’t get a reaction from you, he took this as another lucky break. You were tired today and fell asleep relatively easily, considering how long it typically took you to fall asleep. Bucky walked around your apartment as he waited for you to enter a deeper sleep, familiar with everything since he had been in here a few times since first spotting you all those weeks ago. He looked at your book collection, a mix of genres, and looked closer at the few photos you had on display. A majority of the old photos seemed to be of your family from decades ago. He picked up one that seemed more recent, the only one you had up that included you. He recognized the other two people in it, your mom and sister, both busy with their own lives. He already sized up your family and it would be easy to handle them if he needed to.

He walked into your bathroom and went through your medicine cabinet, finding nothing out of the ordinary besides a few nail polish bottles and various allergy medicines. Finally, he noticed the soft snores coming out of your room. He shut the cabinet, staring at his reflection for a second. He knew this was the right thing to do and had no bad intention. He softly grunted at his pathetic moment of self-reflection and took out a needle filled with a small dose of anesthesia. He observed you for a moment as you slept, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows relaxed, he considered for a moment how easy it would be to take you, but reminded himself of the bigger picture. He easily found a vein and waited a few minutes before taking you to your new home.

~~~

You squeezed your eyes shut and smiled to yourself as you thought about how well you slept last night. You hummed as you kept your eyes closed briefly noticing the absence of warmth that the morning sun provided you in the mornings. You thought nothing of it, too distracted by the fact that this was probably the best night’s sleep you’d gotten in months. Despite that you still felt a little groggy, you began to move but quickly felt something rough holding you down. Your eyes shot open as your breathing began to quicken. You became conscious of the rough restraints around your arms and legs. You awkwardly lifted your head up as you tried to look around, it looked like a basement based on the unfinished walls surrounding you, a single lightbulb hanging above you on the unfinished ceiling. You attempted to calm yourself down by deeply inhaling but knew it was a lost cause once you heard the shaky exhale leave your mouth. You knew you couldn’t break free from the knotted rope holding you down. You had weak arms and tried to use your leg strength in an attempt to kick yourself free but felt it begin to sting as it irritated your ankles from the pressure. You sat in a deafening silence and felt completely petrified.

You let out a whimper as you heard footsteps approaching the door. The door opened as you saw a tall, broad man approach you. You were too scared to notice anything about him and began to feel yourself shake, causing you to miss the way he hungrily reacted to your frightened state. A shadow was cast on you as he stood over the bed. From the corner of your eye, you watched as his right hand lowered the comforter to your torso and expose your shirt as you twitched at the action. He smirked in response, your eyes following his hand as it hovered over the comforter as though he was going to do something. It exited your line of sight but your eyes were fixed in place. You heard movement as he straightened himself before speaking to you for the first time.

“Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for most of the day” His deep voice filled the room as you kept shaking, too scared to answer. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and wondered if he could too, but he was too busy trailing his eyes over your torso. He noticed the way your nipples created peaks on your oversized shirt. He licked his lips before he moved his hand up to grab your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You did your best at avoiding his gaze keeping your gaze low, you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control your shaking but felt it intensify instead.

Still gripping your chin, a little tighter than necessary, and trying to control your shaking body got him hard. You looked so weak like this, it made him excited, a wicked smile painted his face as he looked down at your wide eyes and lips clamped together in terror.

“Look at me when I talk to you, doll”

You had a difficult time looking people in the eyes in general, so you lifted your eyes and stopped at his chin. You didn’t dare go any higher. He squeezed on your chin and heard him let out an amused chuckle. If you weren’t so terrified you would have noticed how out of place it sounded given the situation.

“That’ll have to do, for now, I can tell you’re terrified but you really have no reason to be. I only want to do what’s best for you- for us, I’m only doing what needs to be done.” He didn’t expect a response and stared at you as he let you sit with his words.

He took a moment and let his hand trail down from your chin. He felt the nervous swallow as his pointer finger trailed lower and lower. His finger deviated from its straight path as he placed his palm against your chest, pausing to feel your heartbeat racing. He almost felt sorry as he felt its frantic rhythm. He couldn’t help himself as he cupped your left breast. His thumb gently circling around the hard bud. You scrunched your eyebrows and scolded yourself for getting pleasure from his action. His gentle touch was a strong contrast to the situation he had put you in.

His finger continued its journey down and stopped just above your mound. You swallowed as you felt his eyes staring at you intently, not daring to see if you were right. He lifted his hand momentarily as he moves to sit next to you, hearing the springs groan under him, pushing the comforter towards the bottom of the bed. You get chills as warmth escapes, feeling the crisp air conditioning surround your body instead. Jerking at his touch, he returns his right hand to your body just below your navel this time. His fingers trace down until it feathered above your mound. You held your breath as if any noise from you would assure that he would continue his actions as if he would forget you were there. You felt his pause when his fingers hit the material of your cotton underwear. He slowly traces a short line along your clit, you ball your hands into fists wanting to make him stop. Why was your body enjoying this?

You hold your breath as he gently pulls them down till they were at your knees and returns his hand to its previous place. The empty room is quiet, amplifying the sound of both of your breaths. You feel his middle and ring finger move lower gently stroking your folds. You hear him let out a surprised huff as he continued stroking.

“I was gonna bring lube, but it looks like we won’t be needing it, huh sweetheart?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, he was right. You felt heat building ever since he grabbed your chin, but he didn’t need to know that. All you wanted to do was at the very least was cover your face, but felt the irritation of the rope on your wrists instead. He began back and forth on your heat for a few moments. The room now having the added noise of his fingers slowly speeding up as he stroked you. You shut your eyes as he circled around your entrance, you could already tell his fingers would be significantly bigger than yours. He slowly inserted a finger as you sucked in a quick breath. You could hear him let out a quiet groan as he watched his finger disappear into your hole.

After finding a rhythm he added another finger. You let out a whimper at the fullness of both of his thick fingers filling your hole. It stung at first, hurting slightly you wanted to try and stop his intrusion. Besides your finger, you had never had anything else inside of you. You felt slightly embarrassed by this when you were younger but as you got older you accepted the fact that your lack of social life was a major reason as to why you never had anything close to a romantic partner. Never being social enough to meet someone that you would want to be friends with, let alone sleep with. You felt as though you should tell this man, did you even know his name, that this was the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone before. Before you think any more about it you open your mouth, nothing coming out at first but it was enough for his eyes to go to your face. He slowed down his pace and had his eyes trained on your face waiting for you to speak as if his fingers weren’t leisurely stroking your soft walls in the meantime.

“I- I think I need to tell you something” The words left you slowly and your voice was shakey as you tried to speak and ignore your oncoming orgasm at his rough fingers stroking you gently. Why did you feel like you owed him this? You briefly thought to yourself. But it was too late to stop now.

He smirked at you as he waited for you to continue on. So far, you’ve shown him nothing but submissiveness. Cementing the fact that he made the right choice when he chose you. He didn’t plan on being this gentle with you originally but he couldn’t help it, feeling as though any other treatment would scare you away. His fingers never stopping their gentle strokes, he watched your lips as your quiet voice trembled on.

“I’ve never really, I haven’t done any of this before. I’m a virgin” the words leave you slowly, you gulp and still refuse to meet his gaze, scared for a moment that you would lose the gentleness he has given you thus far. You knew that wouldn’t stop him, but a small part of you hoped it would be enough for him to stop just for now. For the first time you decided to look at his face, still too scared to meet his eyes you opted to watch his mouth as you waited for a response.

To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. You had chosen to tell him this on your own, he didn’t even get a chance to ask you. He didn’t want to assume but based on his observations of you he had an inkling that this was the case. He felt proud of you, his perfect girl. He smiled gently at you in response. You shivered as his fingers paused their gentle strokes in you as he moved to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for telling me, my good girl” it sounded patronizing but your body thought otherwise. Feeling heat shoot straight to your core at his response. He felt you squeeze around his fingers at his response.

Once he felt that you adjusted to his fingers he began to alternate inserting them. Thrusting one and then the other inside of you. Your eyes squeezed shut, you never felt this close to cumming so quickly. Your eyes swelled with tears as you quietly sobbed, reaching your climax. Both of you watched as he pulled his fingers out of your sensitive heat. Covered in slick from your climax. You watched as he moved his fingers close to his face, smirking at you.

“Just a little taste for now,” he said he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck on his two fingers that were just inside you seconds ago. The empty room amplified the sound, your face felt hot as you watched the lewd act feeling your core still throbbing.

He reveled in your obvious embarrassment, humming at your reaction. He wiped his damp fingers on his pants as he got up. You blinked slowly, taking in what had just happened. You had enjoyed what had just happened but felt angry at yourself for that. He shouldn’t have done that, and you had let yourself succumb to his fingers so easily. He watched you, deep in thought with your eyes spaced out. His cock throbbed as if reminding him he needed a release too but he didn’t want to scare you. He had a plan, but you had just showed him that he didn’t have to be as rough as he initially thought with you. And he wouldn’t ever admit it but he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, as soon as he interacted with you it was almost as if he needed to handle you with care. Something that he thought wasn’t in his nature, but for you, maybe he’d try.

He felt his confident demeanor waver for a second, an odd feeling. He needed to get away from her and have a moment alone, so with a quick glance, he turned towards the door and practically ran out of the room without speaking to her.

Too busy thinking, you didn’t notice the foreign feelings your captor had just experienced. Only noticing this broad figure leaving the room as if he was late for something. If you weren’t so busy scolding yourself you would have wondered if you had done something wrong to elicit that action from him.

#bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter solider x reader #stalker!bucky #stalker!bucky x reader #winter soldier x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #soft!bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fic #bucky imagines #marvel imagines #soft dark!bucky #bean writes

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