#getting way to existential for 1 am ok time for bed. thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[gummybugg]

🎉Get to Know My OC🎉

Thanks for the tag, @rickie-the-storyteller! Check out hers here (I really love it)! For this round, I am choosing Blair from my WIP Crater City.

I am also tagging these people if they wanna have at it: @rubywrite @flock-from-the-void @my-cursed-prince @new-royston-cursebreakers @zestymimblo and @sam-glade!

There is a small Content Warning, so I slapped them in the tags.

...

In a small, concrete room sits a young man bound by ropes. He is slouched in a folding chair in front of a thick, wooden table. The spotlight that aims directly on his body accentuates his warm features: deep, brown hair that goes down to his neck, blush from acne scars, and a bit of stubble. He wears a pair of heart gauges, an aviator jacket, crocs, and jeans that look like they've fought in the nuclear war and come back to tell their tale. But alas, we are not interviewing a pair of distressed pants today.

He is beginning to come to after being knocked unconscious for the past 45 minutes (Well, it’s better to be safe than sorry).

Blair: Where the fuck am I? (he blinks, confused) Wait, am I being interrogated for my crimes? Now? (he squirms in his chair) I refuse to speak to a lawyer until proven guilty!

Elijah: Blair, listen! If we just do as we're told, we'll be fine.

Blair: Elijah? You’re here, too? If I find out they hurt you-- (nearly tips over in his chair)

Elijah: No, I'm fine, I promise! Let's just get this interview over with so we can leave. Ok?

Blair: Yeah, whatever. But if anyone hurts you (The rope that tie him to his chair drop off his body all at once), I will smash my way through that mirror, grab them by the neck, and--

Me: Ok, ok! Let's get the interview started!

...

[1] Are you named after anyone?

Am I? (Blair looks around in thought.) I don't think so, the last I checked.

[2] When was the last time you cried?

(Blair sighs, throwing his hands on the table. You're sure things are about to get juicy.) Blair: On my way over here, actually! Some cop threw some tear gas at me. (pauses) Nah, I'm just kidding. I was actually having a panic attack about something...(Blair pauses to remember.) I think it was about how if Elijah somehow wound up in heaven and I didn't, would he just leave me behind or bunk with me in the pits of hell? I called him in the middle of the breakdown and everything, and he told me that he's not sure if there is an afterlife, but even if there was, he wouldn't leave me for a bunch of glorified bed sheet-wearing prudes. Then someone came up from behind me and smeared my face with a cloth, and that's how I ended up here! Elijah: (directly into the microphone from the booth) Me and Blair trade existential crises like trading cards. It's become our new favorite Saturday night event.

[3] Do you have kids?

Blair: Rose and Elijah said I shouldn't be trusted around other small, chaotic humans like myself because the last time that happened, an entire fifth-grade class started a traffic light rights campaign. Traffic was backed up for weeks because we “planted the seed of rebellion” in the minds of children. Elijah: No, the police said you "planted the seed of rebellion" in the minds of sentient bots, which I'm not sure how you managed to convince them to rebel in the first place. The children just started a new religion after the streetlights. Blair: I think what started it was when I was driving this parent and her kid somewhere and I cussed out someone driving in front of me for not respecting the traffic light when it told him to go.

[4] Do you use sarcasm?

Blair: Sometimes, yeah, but doesn’t everyone? Like what even constitutes sarcasm, are there actually people who don't use it at all? That seems impossible. Is this a trick question? Like can--is that an amount I can measure? Like ok, so, if one entire day equals a gallon and I speak like probably six gallons, but super fast, as I tend to, then in order to measure how much sarcasm I use would probably be between three cups out of that. So to answer your question, I think so. Maybe? Sure. Elijah: What about for our metric system users out there? Blair: a few hundred milliliters? Fuck if I know. I didn't know I was gonna be quizzed on math equations. Me: The U.S. still hasn't fully converted to the metric system hundreds of years in the future? Elijah & Blair: Nope.

[5] What's the first thing you notice about people?

Blair: The way they sound or act. I can tell if you're gonna be a condescending ass wipe before you even speak. Like for example, the people who dragged me here reek of stomach acid and gravel. But Elijah’s general vibe is like yellow with little bursts of bright light and swirls, like an old-timey screen saver. Elijah: Like the ones you'd find on my uncle's computer? Blair: Is he really that old? (They both laugh)

[6] What's your eye color?

Blair: Black or brown. I'm not sure, I just stare in the mirror and then when I look away, I forget immediately. Elijah looks at them a lot, ask him. (he gives a sly grin at the one-way mirror) (Elijah turns bright red from behind the glass) Elijah: Next question!

[7] Any special talents?

Blair: I do knife tricks with my balisong! Elijah: And he texts me for bandages every other day, so I have essentially become his bandage delivery guy. Blair: Elijah, tell them how you got me Hello Kitty bandages to “deter me from practicing.” Elijah: I…yeah. That didn't work. (Blair raises his hands to reveal neon pink fingers.)

[8] Scary movies or happy endings?

Blair: Scary movies because me and Rose and Elijah used to watch a bunch of gorey sci-fi movies together and laugh at the special effects. Or, at least me and Rose would. Elijah got angry we didn't take his nerdy movies as seriously as he did. Elijah: You just can’t appreciate old cinematography! Blair: True cinematography is The Dinosaurs Before Time. But you wouldn’t know since you always cry five minutes in and then we have to turn it off! Elijah: (standing up) Nuh-uh! Blair: (walking closer to the front of the room, imitating Elijah crying) “He was born ten minutes ago and now his mom’s dead?!” Elijah: (imitating Blair’s voice) “Yeah, that’s sad and all, but I think I could take on a T-rex with my bare hands.” No the fuck you could not! Do you have any idea how huge those bitches were? It'd eat you in one bite! Blair: Wow, you’re saying that just because I’m short I couldn’t do it. Low blow, Elijah. (The two, now inches apart the mirror’s divide, bicker about the logistics of fighting a dinosaur and how fighting a rooster technically counts because if you ever had a rooster chase after you, it’s scary af.) Me: Andddd, moving on!

[9] Where were you born?

Blair: On the outskirts of Crater City in some podunk. It should still be there, it's where my mom and my old neighbors lived. Things were so much more friendly back there, which is a huge difference from living in the city. Elijah: It’s crazy to be able to smile at someone on the street there and not get a death threat. Blair: Yeah… (he reminisces) Elijah: Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Blair: We should buy 400 acres of land and become farmers after this whole thing blows over. Elijah: (laughing) And raise a rooster army to protect our crops from mutants! (They bounce eagerly at the prospect of changing their names and living a peaceful life in the country.)

[10] What are your hobbies?

Blair: I practice tricks with my balisong, piece together little bots as pets, draw cartoons, and play video games. I also collect soda tabs, scrap metal, car keys, keychains, road signs… (Blair counts on his fingers) Elijah: Did he say road signs? What he meant was abandoned materials left for dead! Perfectly legal stuff here! (he laughs nervously.) Blair: I also collect our wanted pictures because I think we look sexy in them. Elijah: Blair!

[11] Do you have any pets?

Blair: I don't have a "pet" pet, but Elijah does! Or used to! I'm not sure what happened to him. He was a hamster named Clip, short for Noclip. Maybe that's why he's still missing. Elijah: Yeah, I'm not sure what happened either. But he usually turns up when Blair visits. Blair: It’s cause I’m the cool and estranged relative who brings gifts every time he comes over. Elijah: And by “gifts” he means chip crumbs on the couch.

[12] What sports do you play/have played?

Blair: I've played volleyball for a bit in high school until they banned me from the team for spiking the ball too hard. But if the opportunity presents itself, why not take it? Elijah: You gave four people concussions in one season! (Elijah laughs at the absurdity) Blair: They made fun of me, saying I was so short I couldn't hit over the net! It's not my fault they underestimated my skills.

[13] How tall are you?

Blair: 5' 5." There, I said it. Now we can move on! Elijah: Your Honor, he’s lying under oath, he's actually 5'3.5”! Blair: I can detest! Elijah: You mean “attest”? Blair: Hand me a fucking ruler right now! (Blair is provided a retractable ruler to measure his height) Elijah: Blair, turn it the other way. Blair: No, see? I am 5'5," and there's nothing you can do about it! Nothing! Unless you want to come over here and measure me yourself. (Elijah covers his face in his hands.) Blair: It's kinda suspicious he's so determined I'm shorter than I say I am. What, is he measuring my height in my sleep? I dunno, man, that's kinda weird.

[14] Favorite subject in school?

Blair: Robotics club counts, I'm pretty sure. Me and Elijah signed up for it and that's how we became best friends. It was the only class the teacher didn’t yell at me for slacking off or falling asleep in. Elijah: Because it was the only class you actually liked. Blair: Yeah, and the teacher even helped me get a scholarship because she said I was a great asset to mankind or whatever. But I think she was just being dramatic. Elijah: You managed to make a living driving people around in hijacked auto cars, I think it’s safe to say you’re not a complete idiot. Blair: Only a little. Elijah: Yeah, we’re pretty stupid. But not that stupid.

[15] Dream job?

Blair: I think I'd like to still build bots but definitely at my own pace instead of at a factory or business. It's too stuffy in places like that and it gets too repetitive after a while. Elijah: (confused) Blair, your passengers offer you to do contract work all the time. Blair: Elijah, Elijah. I don't think you understand... (There is a long pause.) Elijah: Are you gonna finish that thought? Or did you forget it halfway? Blair: No, I just didn't care enough to finish what I was gonna say. Hey, you wanna get some curly fries after this? All this pouring my life out shit is making me hungry. I almost forgot why I was even here. (Blair stretches) Oh my God, actually, you guys should interrogate Elijah next! I wanna see how long it takes for him to crack under pressure. Elijah: Blair, those questions were hardly invasive. Blair: I think you should throw some hardballs at him. Like do you eat oatmeal with a spoon or fork? Do you salt your watermelon or eat it unseasoned? Do you wash your rice with soap? Elijah: Who the fuck washes their rice? (Blair wears a look of abject horror.)

Me: And that is all the time we have for this interview! Thank you for your participation, Blair and Elijah! Now, if you could make your way to the exit—

(Elijah hurries out of the studio, followed by Blair, who has burst from the interviewing room. Blair chases him down the hall to the exit, all the while shouting a step-by-step guide on how to prepare rice. You have a feeling his ancestors would be very proud of him, if not for the atrocities he has committed.)

...

Crater City taglist (ask to be added/removed): @writeouswriter @lyra-brie

#thanks for the tag! #mention of knives #(negative) mention of religion #mention of drugs #crater city wip #If you actually read all this then color me surprised #It was a bitch to edit #but worth every minute #I love blair and elijah too much #my writing #my ocs #my wip #get to know my oc #I really should roll out character sheets one day #I just keep forgetting... #Or I could just do more of these... #*laughs in no sleep*

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Our Deepest Depressions Don’t Define Us: Part 1.

...

*After the message is delivered to the rest of the Future Foundation, everyone heads off to bed. Due to his injuries, Kuripa is allowed to stay in the café instead of the camper to assure comfort. However, he is unable to sleep still, and decides to head downstairs to get something to drink.

???: Yes, I know...Don’t blame Shuichi for this. It was entirely my idea.

...?

???: Yes, Mii-Yu is with me as well, so is Kibin, but the circumstances are...a little weird on that one...Yes, I know, I promise, when I come home and see you again, I’ll tell you everything.

*Hearing a voice, he opens the door to the café area after climbing down the stairs and sees a person sitting at the table, talking over the phone.

I promise you, it won’t happen again. I know we don’t keep secrets from each other, but there’s a lot going on right now and I had some personal stuff to take care of.

I’ll be back as soon as you know it...Thanks for understanding. See you later.

*Kaede hangs up.

Who was that?

Gah!? Uh...hey. 

What are you doing still up? It’s late out.

I could say the same to you you know?

I have an EXCUSE. I already slept through basically half a day after killing Katagiri. What are you up to?

I was just...letting Kaito know that we’re safe and sound...not to mention where we are right now...

Where you are-Are you serious? You didn’t TELL them?

They would have tried to stop us from coming and I didn’t want them getting wrapped up in all this. You would have done the same.

...

*Kuripa sits next to her.

Something’s fucky.

Sorry?

You’ve been acting weird ever since we reunited in the factory, and now I find out that you ditched your friends to come here over a message that may or may not have been a trap. Dragging your boytoy along with you not to mention.

Plus, upon immediately finding out the scope of Rantaro’s plan, you immediately chose to attack him and steal from us, even though we meant you no damage. I still don’t forgive myself for what I did to you back there, but even so!

You’re the one who threw that knife. I just picked it up and threw it right back at you twice as hard. The Kaede Akamatsu I know isn’t that naïve! You keep jumping into dangers without a plan not thinking about what the consequences might be.

...

...

*Kuripa places a hand on Kaede’s shoulder.

If you don’t want to open up to me, that’s fine. But I want to fix this problem between us...

And I can’t do that if you keep acting out of it. What’s going on with you?

...

...Does it have something to do with...your universe?

Wha-!? H-How did you know!?

I’ve just been thinking...If I was transported to another universe with no way back to mine, I would have trouble fitting in.

If you’re having an existential crisis Akamatsu, just say so. We can all help you through it.

N-No, you’re misunderstanding. I AM thinking about the world I came from but...I’m not really looking for a way to go back.

...I think.

Dude...Whatever the issue is...Just tell me. Do you miss your world or not?

*sigh* Okay okay...

To be honest, no, I don’t miss my world. Far from it. Even though there was no real tragedy, my world was a sad place with a w

I’m living a great life in this world, and there’s no way I would ever take the chance to go back to mine...but...

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any regrets...

Hoo...Ok, fine! This happened a LONG time ago and...it doesn’t really matter anymore? But...Let’s just say that you and I have always had something in common that I never told you about.

What are you saying?

I...I kind of forgot after waking up, but given time, my memories have returned to me. And I recalled something that happened before I was inducted into the Killing Game...

Kuripa...I’m not an only child. I have a twin sister.

You do!?

Yeah...Her name is Kaori...There is a bit of a story to it though. Do you have the time?

All in the world right now.

Thanks...To begin with...I didn’t really have a good relationship with my parents. My upbringing was pretty standard, but as soon as my talents as a pianist started to blossom, they tried to...use me and taken advantage of me...

What’s more, they basically ignored Kaori, since she didn’t have the same level of skill that I did. She was worthless to them.

When we were old enough, we moved out together to try and escape from them. For the longest time, it was successful, but...

I’m assuming things didn’t work out in the end?

Even though we were living together, we had completely separate lives. I don’t remember the specifics, but...my life continued to get better while Kaori’s got worse. She started spending a lot of money and I think she might have even joined a gang of delinquents.

...If I’m being honest, I don’t even know what started it...But we got into a huge fight one day. The end of that fight resulted in her covering my one and only piano at the time with gasoline and setting it on fire.

Oh boy...

I got angry and forcefully kicked her out of the house...and then...

Th-Then...

Akamatsu...!?

The police came to deliver the news for me...Kaori had been riding her motorcycle while drunk and she...drove into oncoming traffic.

!!!???

D-Did she...?

Yeah...

Shit...!

*Kuripa hangs his head.

To make a long story short, the reason why I acted out of sorts is because I remembered that...the anniversary for that event was yesterday.

That’s...NOT an excuse for...my actions. It happened a while ago but...I just didn’t feel like bringing the mood down...

This is it, isn’t it?

Huh?

It only makes sense...THIS is why you joined Danganronpa!

...With my parents using me as they did and with Kaori gone from my life...I looked at the world with nothing but pessimism and detest. No one was worth trusting back then. And Danganronpa seemed like the perfect way to escape from that sick reality.

By entering an even sicker one?

My mind wasn’t in a good place at the time, ok!? I needed an OUT!

No, I-I get it.

That’s what I mean though. I don’t want to go back there, but if there’s one thing I regret, it’s that I’ll never have a chance to visit her grave again...And I can’t forgive myself for entering Danganronpa just to erase her existence from my memories.

And...when we met in the factory, and you started telling me about your murder plan, I remembered that, and the situation with YOUR sister! And...and...!

Slow down! Wipe those eyes of yours and breathe...Other than me, how many people know about this?

*Kaede wipes her eyes as per Kuripa’s request.

Right now, just Shuichi and Mii-Yu. I kind of had to tell him to convince him to let me go to Central Park.

...Akamatsu...

I know...I’m sorry...The reason why I was so quick to follow Rantaro’s message...it might have been because I needed a distraction...Instead I just showed up out of nowhere and complicated things.

I messed up...

Grief is a hard pill to swallow Kaede. Maybe this sounds ironic coming from me, but we all deal with it in our own way. 

You and I aren’t the only people who have lost. And we still have so much left to lose. Our friends, our family...everything we cherish.

But it’s part of living the lives we do to push forward and forge new paths, not just for us, but for those exact people too. Even if we have to deal with great pain to ensure we do so.

But the killing game you were part of puts things very literally. If you wished to forget the life that you’ve lived, and turn it into some...empty, fleeting reality made from your own twisted conscience...Then that’s all it will become.

How you live your life and how you deal with your grief is up to you, and there’s nothing I would do to change that. But as your mentor...and someone who REALLY cares about you...I at least want you to know that.

Heh...If only I had you around after the fact.

I could say the same to you. Or...I would if at least one of our grief solutions were actually sane...You join a killing game, I become a vigilante...

Hehe...I think we’re both a little crazy...

...

Akamatsu...I know I said you should go to bed, but...would you mind coming with me? 

Um...sure...but why?

Nothing really. There’s just something I think I need to tell you.

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #oc #kuripa kurafto #kaede akamatsu #ask #the monster in me arc

[dyketectivecomics]

No ones asking but I’m gonna Go Off abt this idea anyways. And also say this may or may not be canon to my Book Ends project that’s been languishing for years now ANYWAYS

Night Force but College AU aka

"No Magic but the gang still gets together to lay about in their college library and play DnD every other weekend" jdfksla;f

The kids are all attending Hudson University in NY as undergrads in varying fields, but the thing that brings them together (as is often the case) is their overlap in dorm accommodations and elective courses. They claim a study room in the library and Make It Theirs

still thinking about their degrees and might change em, but here's what Im thinking so far:

Raven is premed/psych (yall already know it depends entirely on my Mood™), Traci is either criminal justice or prelaw (sticking w/ her living with the Dibnys and that inspiring her to rlly dive into wanting to be a PI, so those are like, the bare min to getting Started), Zach's a theatre arts major & Eddie's a film major (& they both end up in a lot of projects together bc OFC), im thinking Lori is an english major to start off (bc she Doesnt actually know what she wants to be doing but she knows she at least doesn't hate lit analysis) but maybe she changes her mind idk, we'll see. and finally Klarion is Undeclared at first BUT (and stick with me here) i think it would be fucking hilarious if he was a math major. bc no one would fucking expect it and also im projecting shut up LISTEN.

Amy is absolutely there, but she's a HS student who's shoehorned her way into the group bc her parents both teach at the Uni OBVSLY (thats like, actual canon btw) and so she's just Always hung around campus and now she's part of their group :)

(similarly skye's part of the group, but she's gonna come n go a bit more. i'm still Mulling over exactly where I want her to be/how i want to use her & if i want to get too wrapped up in giving her a major or not... bc-)

skye's gonna Cause some Drama bc we CANT just have an AU, oh no we need PLOT and instead of a Bad/Dying End for her, shes just gonna transfer to Gotham State or Metropolis U or smthn fjkdlsa;

Enter various Shadowpact/JLD members as like, professors or grad students or w/e i don't have anyone there figured out Just Yet obvsly but also they're not the Focus anyways so-

Winters is the like, a librarian/archivist for the Uni & lurks around the same study room (bc its right around the corner from his office) and he frequently tries to get the kids to run errands/do favors for him bc he was using the room as extra space originally and now they're RUINING THAT and he needs to get them OUT

idk, i'll think of more stuff eventually but thats the uhh, Ground Work for now.

#the night forge adventures #new night force #randywrites #to write #god i havent thought abt book ends in forever tho either fjdka #also college aus should be way more of a Thing... like.... the Freedom they afford with a lot of the same tropes that you can copy/paste #from hs aus too.... the Range you can implement while being right in the Cusp between the final teenage years and the beginnings of the 20s #theres just!!!!!! a lot abt college!!! im barely out and i do miss campus ngl!!!!! #maybe thats also partially why im writing this up rn fdjkals; already romanticizing something that hasnt long yet passed #getting way to existential for 1 am ok time for bed. thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[asmosmainhoe]

I just had this Idea while listening to, "Little miss perfect". But how would the brothers and dateable react falling for a Male Mc and to finding out they're gay? Like they've been with both genders but never thought of it like that then here come M Mc and now they're like, "He's nice and listens to me... I'm in love with him... wait am I gay?" If this make you uncomfortable you don't have to write it! If you do thank you! (I struggle with my sexuality so I got curious to how they would react)

The brothers questioning their sexuality

I'm so sorry that Mammon's part is always way longer than the other ones, but when I start writing for him the ideas just won't stop coming

Male MC

Warnings: cursing

Lucifer

Sometimes he questioned his sexuality even before he met you, but that was Diavolo's doing

Quickly brushed it off, because he doesn't have any feelings towards the demon prince that doesn't mean Lucifer doesn't think he's hot tho, because he is

Then you enter the Devildom and turn his world upside down

At first he thinks you're hot too so it's nothing new to him, but then he develops more serious feelings for you and then the gay panic starts

I can see him reading some documents in his study and overall just being flooded with work

And then as if someone turned a switch inside him he stops with everything and asks himself the question of all questions

Is he gay? Duh

Doesn't confront you about his emotions right away which is odd considering he's a pretty direct kinda guy

He just wants to make sure that the stuff he's feeling is not just a phase, because he doesn't wanna give you any false hope

Mammon

We stan a gay mess

Doesn't even realize he's hardcore simping for you unless one of his brothers points it out to him

I mean he did feel attracted to some guys, but never this strong!

Catch him late at night talking to Goldie about it while pacing around his room

Him: What should I do? Should I ask him out?

Goldie:

Him: I'm so confused!

Goldie:

Him: Ugh you're no help at all!

The doubts are eating him up from the inside, because he also doesn't wanna give you any false hope

Because like what if he asks you out and y'all start dating, but then he looses his feelings and breaks your heart and then you two stop talking and-

But you're mad cute and he can't stop thinking about you and how warm your hands are or how soft your lips look and he stays up at night thinking about your laugh and your smile and-

Please just do us all a favor and ask him out first

Leviathan

Has considered the fact that he might be gay, bi, pan etc considering there's a great amount of fictional male characters he simps for

Kakashi has no business looking this fine ok

But he was vibing with the cool edits, the hot fanart and the comforting fanfics/headcanons

Then you came to the Devildom and suddenly life was not daijoubo anymore

We all know he's down bad the moment he starts calling you his player number 2

Makes you change your profile pic so you two have matching icons

His way of flirting is very unique okay

Levi keeps comparing the two of you with his fave anime duos

You're his Henry! And Henry is his number 1 husbando! Take the hint you oblivious human!

Satan

Like Levi he has quite the long list of fictional men he has fallen for, but he kinda keeps it a secret?

No, it's not really a secret he's pretty open about it like if you ask him about a certain character he kinda starts gushing, but nothing too over the top

Let's just say that he doesn't rub his fanboying in your face

The more he gets to know you the more he realizes you're similar to all the fictional guys he simps for and that maybe he has a type

But all in all he's so chill about it

It's just that he always knew he's also attracted to men even without his crush on you

That doesn't mean he's not blushy around you, because he most definitely is

Asmodeus

I just can't see him having that gay panic okay?

Everyone is too hot for their own good and Asmo is over here vibing with it

Not shy about expressing his feelings so he's constantly flirting with you

What drives him into panic mode though is the realization that his feelings are way stronger than expected

Just imagine him doing his makeup and then he drops his eyeliner and gasps

"I'm in love?"

He knew he was gay for you, but not that much!

Lays down on his bed for an existential crisis, but gets his shit together after like five minutes and is ready to face the day

More like ready to face the truth and make his first serious move on you

Beelzebub

Never really thought about relationships before, because frankly he doesn't need it

All he really needs at the moment is his family and a full fridge

All of that doesn't mean he's completely ignoring his attraction towards you though

Shows you that he's interested through small actions like always helping you carry stuff or sharing his good with you

Yes! The second he offers you his food you should notice that something is up!

Talks to Belphie a lot about his feelings and even asks for advice which isn't the best idea considering the advice is coming from Belphegor

"So you're gay."

"I am?"

He is

Belphegor

Crushing on a human in general is new to him so give this man a break

The gay panic is surprisingly strong here considering that he's too lazy to panic over anything at all

Had a mini heart attack the first time you two had a sleepover and when you put your arm around him in your sleep?

He could have exploded right then and there

Mutters a "fuck" under his breath whenever he feels like his heart is about to jump out of his chest thanks to you

And if having to deal with his crush while being awake isn't hard enough he even dreams of you!

Wakes up exhausted and done with his life

"Why am I so gay for him?"

"What did you say, Belphie?"

OH SHIT HE TOTALLY FORGOT YOU TWO TOOK THAT NAP TOGETHER-

"Nothing, shut up."

---

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon x reader #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me levi x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me satan x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphie x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor

[eldritch-elrics]

svsss: the (not so) grand return of peerless cucumber

so a LOT happened in the chapters i read last night (44-49) and i have. SO many thoughts

not as many as i had right after i read but i really had to go to bed so i couldn’t write them all up.....

i put some reactions in individual posts but i’ll repeat them here!

first of all. shang qinghua. fucked off to the demon realm. like, good for him? but also. i want to see my boy

binghe keeping sqq’s body??? xue yang vibes OFF the charts

so I’M IN LOVE WITH THE MUSHROOM PLOT

i love how every so often sv will hit me with a twist that is SO up my alley that i just. lose it a little bit

HE MADE HIMSELF A CLONE BODY OUT OF MAGICAL MUSHROOMS AND TRANSPORTED HIS SOUL INTO IT.

i love mushroom shit and i love bodyswapping and. my god.

the fact that sqq has died twice and been forced to inhabit 3 different bodies??? wei wuxian wishes he were this cool

sidenote but the mental image of sqq doing radio calisthenics in the forest is really funny. or maybe it’s just funny to me because of the associations i have with this one time in japanese class?

sqq’s new body looking like a cross between shen yuan and shen qingqiu is really interesting and perhaps... symbolic....?

also hey does this mean he doesn’t have to deal with the cureless poison anymore. i assumed that it would be cured in his eventual sexytimes with binghe but hmmm i guess not!

the point where i really lost it was when he realized he was disconnected from the system. i know now that it wasn’t permanent but that was just so interesting, how much he hates it and wants it gone. which makes sense! even though it has helped him get out of bad spots at times, it’s a sign that he’s not really from this world. now i’m just really curious what’s gonna happen to the system at the end of the novel. maybe it’ll shut off once he achieves the “goal” it’s seemed to have set for him and gets together with lbh?

also i’m glad that sqq seems to have matured a little bit in terms of his people skills / problem solving skills? though uh. remains to be seen how he’ll act in front of binghe when binghe realizes who he is

it also seems like i was completely wrong about sqq’s motivations for sacrificing himself lol. lot more selfish than i thought? but it makes sense! fun twist

mxtx sure likes to have her protagonists execute plots that they don’t tell the reader about until after they happen lol (i’m thinking of the golden core transfer)

uhh back to plot reactions

love the running joke about peerless cucumber. also the demon names... six balls <3

also hold on a minute, peerless cucumber is a dick joke? lmao

thank you airplane for making it clear binghe has a big dick. absolutely vital character information

so i’ve said this before but sqq’s narration really CARRIES this novel. here i’m thinking specifically about his diatribe against sha hualing’s nails

shl is pretty fun. sexy evil lady!

sqq can turn his fan into a blade. nie huaisang get ON that smh

yang yixuan my beloved!

also HAHA i predicted that sqq’s super mushroom powers could help the xin mo thing and i was RIGHT

so sqq is just. SO invested in getting the plot back on track. like with all the harem members and stuff. it’s so funny because like bro. surely you’ve noticed by now that things are going very differently than in pidw. and also... you don’t WANT to go back on the pidw track bc that would kill you!!!

so the system reactivates when binghe turns up right? i am thinking about. the fact that when it tries to reboot it’s like “contacting customer service”

WHO IS CUSTOMER SERVICE.

it’s so interesting because like... obviously the whole system thing is so much bigger than just A Book? it’s even got airplane trapped inside it. and he’s the fucking author! who is running this thing? and for what purpose?

sqq listening in on the gossip about how lbh is DEFINITELY obsessively in love with him was SO funny. poor man

so binghe. he has become so COLD

i don’t like it :(

once more. my dude go to therapy.

wait also random but sqq has a beard now and for some reason that’s so funny to me

life at the palace seems terrible lmao no one is doing ok

smh, mxtx protags keep dying and staying dead for huge amounts of time and then coming back in different bodies

the fact that binghe’s happiest memories are training with sqq :(

THE FACT THAT BINGHE IS ABSOLUTELY SHIT AT KISSING

my god. that entire scene

went from “awwww headpats” to “AAAAAAAA”

the fact that the system congratulates him i’m sjkdhgjhsdhgjsds poor sqq.... didn’t ask for this shit.......

after 50 chapters, he’s finally realized he turned the male lead gay <3 say goodbye to all those funny oblivious moments!

i had to stop there because it was way too late at night but wow. we shall see how this relationship progresses

i can’t see it improving anytime soon but at least sqq knows lbh likes him now???

i had a LOT of thoughts last night but now i’m pretty much just like. i really need to see where it goes before i make any judgements on bingqiu

rn i’m not a big fan because 1. sqq is so wildly uncomfortable (understandable lol, even if lbh thinks it’s just a dream) and 2. lbh is very obsessive and that’s not really my favorite trope. but like it’s obviously not meant to be a healthy relationship, at least definitely not right now, and i do like some good fucked up romance! i’m excited to see the developments where sqq realizes what his real feelings are

i’m also fairly neutral on binghe as a character atm. his main personality traits seem to be “obsessed with sqq” and “trying not to die from evil sword qi poisoning” and i don’t find that all that compelling? between him and lwj i have to say that mxtx’s love interest characters are not really my favorite, though i wouldn’t say i dislike either of them.

furthermore i’m slightly concerned with how lbh’s “i’m the main character and i get what i want” attitude is gonna affect the romance. i know there’s some dubconny stuff later which i can’t say i’m excited for but i am excited to see how binghe’s character is gonna develop in general

my aspirations for bingqiu is that they’re both able to eventually break free of the expectations of the system

because, look at this from sqq’s pov. there’s this ai in your head that has, for literal years, been steering you towards a romance that you (at least outwardly) don’t want. isn’t that fucking terrifying? i love it. the system (at least how i see it) has been bending the established plot of the world in order to make this happen. it’s like fate but you can see the gears turning.

and even if sqq does end up liking lbh back, can you imagine the existential crisis of like. wondering if he really CHOSE to get with binghe or if he was somehow compelled to by the system which acts based on binghe’s emotions?

i think that would be so interesting

however what i think is Actually going to happen (based on that one time when airplane was like “hey cucumber, uh, is lbh just a character to you or is there more...”) is that sqq is gonna realize that he’s had a bit of a crush on binghe since reading pidw and is only just now dealing with his internalized homophobia. so him getting together with binghe has less strings attached

i think there’s some opportunity here for a commentary on the soulmate trope? because svsss is just so steeped in themes about agency and fate. i think that would be really cool but we’ll have to see. i feel like the ending is gonna be simpler and happier than i want it to be but obviously i cannot make any judgements yet! i’m just having Thoughts :)

so, i also read one of the extras (the one where he goes with lqg to battle succubi) because the translation i’m reading recommended it! it was pretty fun

sqq SO clueless. like i get it, he doesn’t think he’s into anything other than Pretty Cis Women, but. sqq we’ll work on this

also ASKING LQG IF HE’S A VIRGIN. sqq literally stop

(that was so funny though)

liu qingge ACE RIGHTS

actually lqg’s outburst in this chapter was kind of bizarre and can be explained in a few different ways i think?

i really like the idea of him being aroace. thinks true love doesn’t exist etc

i feel like the intended implication of lqg’s outburst is that he’s realized madame meiyin is referring to binghe and is like “holy shit no sqq can’t be with Him”

maybe lqg is just homophobic?

but i. also kind of wonder if lqg is gay and in love with sqq? and is just putting up the “such deep love doesn’t exist” thing because he really doesn’t want sqq to know

there was that whole line where the succubus was like “well you’re not his soulmate you don’t know” and it made me think

on the other hand i can’t really see lqg liking sqq that way; they seem to have more of a Bro Bond

then again lqg does keep fighting binghe for sqq’s sake

either headcanon is fun! i’d be excited for more insight into lqg in general i think

#my god this is long #svsss #svsss spoilers #finn reads scum villain #my post

[chibistarlyte]

one day

He's okay, Katsuki has to remind himself again, almost afraid that Todoroki might slip right through his calloused fingers if he doesn't hold on tight enough. 

ayyy here’s a follow-up to my previous todobaku fic some days, this time from bakugou’s pov as he deals with the aftermath of todoroki’s depressive episode.

thank you to kat @sunshineijirou​ for the beta, as always! <3 ilysm!

fic can be read below the cut or here on ao3! you can also find a masterlist of all my bnha fics here!

.

If someone had told Katsuki, when he woke up this morning, that by this afternoon he’d be spooning with his secret crush after said secret crush jumped down to his balcony in some kind of depressive fit…

Suffice to say that Katsuki would have never believed it, even if his life depended on it.

Yet here he is, arms wrapped around Todoroki Shouto’s waist and his face buried in the back of his neck as the other boy sleeps peacefully in his bed. Or, Katsuki assumes peacefully, judging by the light snores and soft, lax features of Todoroki’s face.

Well, Katsuki thinks as he breathes a warm sigh against the other boy’s still frigid skin, at least Todoroki is safe now. It would be an outright lie to say that Katsuki hasn’t been worried about Todoroki all goddamn day, ever since he saw the other boy sitting precariously on the edge of his balcony and uttering uncharacteristic existential thoughts earlier that morning. 

Just a little bit ago, when Todoroki had jumped...Katsuki’s heart had all but stopped in his chest.

Unconsciously, Katsuki tightens his grip around Todoroki and digs his nose deeper into the soft skin at the nape of Todoroki’s neck, breathing in his scent. He’s okay. He’s okay.

Katsuki jolts as he hears a loud buzzing noise, his palms sweaty and sparking in his alarm. He quickly retracts his arms from around Todoroki, afraid of burning the other boy with his Quirk. Katsuki belatedly realizes the sound is his phone vibrating on top of the headboard. Wiping his sweaty hands on his shirt as he sits up, he reaches for his phone and unlocks it with a click. A notification bubble at the bottom of the screen tells him the class 1-A group chat is active with messages right now.

Midoriya: hey guys has anyone seen todoroki-kun since class was over? he left before i could catch up with him and he hasn’t answered any of my texts and when i went to his room to check on him he didn’t answer… Uraraka: i haven’t seen him since our rescue exercise, deku-kun. are you sure he came back to the dorms? Midoriya: i mean i’m not positive but where else would he go? Iida: Todoroki-kun has been acting strangely all day...perhaps he heeded our advice and sought out Recovery Girl? Kaminari: nah bruh, i was at rg’s office after class for my broken wrist, i didn’t see him there Tokoyami: I can have Dark Shadow scope out the area and look for Todoroki, if needed. Yaoyorozu: I am worried about Todoroki-san. He wasn’t acting like himself today, and I fear to think what would happen if he’s alone right now. Jirou: which room is his???? i can listen in and see if hes there Kirishima: he’s on the fifth floor, right above bakugou’s room

Katsuki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Great, now Todoroki has the entire class worried after him. They’d send out a goddamn search party if Katsuki doesn’t say something.

So he starts typing.

Bakugou: relax u damn extras, icyhot’s with me

There’s a short pause in the chat as several people begin typing and soon enough the messages flood right in.

Midoriya: what???? todoroki-kun is with you, kacchan?! Jirou: shit, dude, he must be fucked in the head to go hang out with explody Kirishima: is he ok?? are u guys in ur room bakubro? Mina: DID U KIDNAP THE POOR LAD, BAKUGOU?!? Uraraka: can we come see him?

Katsuki lets out a frustrated sigh and thumbs back a response.

Bakugou: if any of you assholes even think about coming and pounding on my door, i’ll break ur fuckin fingers. halfie’s asleep so you chucklefucks need to keep quiet

As if to make sure the group chat hadn’t somehow awoken Todoroki from his slumber, Katsuki looks away from his phone to the sleeping boy next to him. Not much has changed in the last few minutes, save for a slight twitching of Todoroki’s nostril and the fingers of his right hand slightly curling and unfurling.

When his phone pings with another message, Katsuki sees that it’s from Kirishima. He opens their text messages.

Kirishima: hey bakubro is everything ok?? i mean not just with todoroki but with u too? Bakugou: i’m fine, shitty hair. not sure about him, tho Bakugou: he was pretty messed up when i brought him in Kirishima: what happened? Bakugou: the crazy fucker jumped from his balcony down to mine like an idiot, coulda hurt himself Kirishima: … Kirishima: ...was he trying to Kirishima: u kno…

Katsuki doesn’t want to think about the reasons behind Todoroki’s actions, behind the other boy’s strange and despondent behavior all day. He knows Todoroki’s got family issues, with what he’d overheard at the sports festival in their first year. Then, after having dinner at the Todoroki household and interning with Endeavor all those months ago, Katsuki has been able to put the pieces together well enough. 

He scoots down the bed until he’s lying down again, his arm against Todoroki’s back as he holds his phone up to text with Kirishima.

Bakugou: idk, he hasn’t told me anything, just basically been a zombie the whole fuckin time. he was so cold and he wasn’t usin his quirk to warm up, bastard’s lucky he didn’t get hypothermia or some shit Kirishima: do u need anything? Bakugou: i told u, i’m fine Kirishima: ok...but srsly, i’m here for u if u need to talk...or if i can bring you anything, yeah? Bakugou: yeah, yeah, i get it hair for brains Bakugou: ...thanks Kirishima: i gotchu bro

Katsuki sets his phone on silent before locking it and placing it up on his headboard again. He rolls onto his side, chest against Todoroki’s back once again, and reaches around to touch the back of his hand to the other boy’s forehead. It still feels colder than it probably should, but warmer than before, which Katsuki counts as progress. 

He settles his arms around Todoroki’s waist again and scoots closer until they’re flush against each other. Katsuki tangles his legs with Todoroki’s to help warm them up—Todoroki’s bare ankles feel cold against Katsuki’s own heated skin.

He's okay, Katsuki has to remind himself again, almost afraid that Todoroki might slip right through his calloused fingers if he doesn't hold on tight enough. 

"You really fuckin' scared me there for sec, half-n-half," Katsuki murmurs against the back of Todoroki’s neck, feeling the moisture of his own breath bouncing back at him from their close proximity. "The hell did you think you were doing?" he asks the air, knowing full well that Todoroki is dead asleep and can't hear a word Katsuki is saying. 

And thank fuck for that, because Katsuki can't seem to shut himself up and continues speaking.

"Don't you realize how many people care about your stupid ass? How important you are to everyone? Fucking Deku, Round Face, Four-Eyes, Yaomomo...me…"

Katsuki clenches his jaw to stop his mouth from betraying him any further. He has no idea what's compelling him to such honesty. Perhaps it's because he knows Todoroki can't hear him, knows that he won't have to suffer any unfortunate consequences of having his feelings laid bare in front of him. 

Just...seeing Todoroki fly through the air, even if it was only for a few seconds...Katsuki could have forever lost the chance to say all the things he wishes he were brave enough to admit. 

He sighs through his nose, his teeth gritting painfully against each other as he tightens his jaw even more. Fucking coward, he chastises himself.

"Bakugou?"

Katsuki's heart stills in his chest as Todoroki’s confused, sleep-laden voice drifts into his senses. Todoroki stiffens in his grip, muscles tense and taut, almost as if he's afraid of something. Unconsciously, Katsuki's arms tighten around the other boy’s waist and he finds his hands pressing almost protectively against Todoroki’s abdomen.

"I'm here," he answers belatedly, nuzzling his nose against Todoroki’s skin—still too cold for his liking, but ever so slowly getting warmer.

Todoroki exhales, going boneless in Katsuki's arms. There's a minute shift of his head as he digs his cheek into the pillow. "I...didn't dream it, then…" he says a bit absently, sounding so, so tired.

"Dream what?" Katsuki asks softly, his fingers tracing odd shapes on Todoroki’s skin.

"That I was here...with you," Todoroki clarifies, letting out another exhale that made him deflate like a balloon with too many leaks.

Katsuki is unable to keep from snorting. "Couldn't very well let you leave after you just—" He stops himself from finishing that thought, because the idea that Todoroki really might have been trying to off himself was too much for Katsuki to handle. "Look, you could barely walk and were hardly coherent enough to make it back to your room. I couldn't let you leave and end up hurting yourself or some shit."

Todoroki lets out a breath that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. 

"Don't you fucking laugh at me, you bastard," Katsuki says without any real threat. "Sorry for fucking caring about your stupid ass."

It's then that Todoroki starts to pull away, curling in on himself. He untangles his legs from Katsuki's and worms his way out of Katsuki's arms until he’s at the edge of the bed, the two of them no longer touching. 

Katsuki's heart sinks into his stomach. Damn it, there goes his stupid mouth ruining everything again.

"You shouldn't care about me," Todoroki says, sounding miles away. 

"Why the fuck not?" Katsuki bites back, not liking where this conversation has turned. 

"I'm not worth it," Todoroki repeats his words from earlier, and they still feel like a knife stabbing right through Katsuki's chest. 

He doesn't understand why someone like Todoroki could ever think he's worthless.

It makes him...angry.

"What the fuck is it gonna take for you to realize that you are worth it?" Katsuki says in a harsh whisper, trying to reign in his rage. He knows if he explodes now, he might chase Todoroki off and cause him to do...something…

Todoroki doesn't answer.

Against his better judgment, Katsuki reaches for Todoroki’s back. His fingers barely graze the black t-shirt he's wearing before he notices a significant drop in temperature. Frost begins crawling up the shell of Todoroki’s ear.

"No, no, stop that," Katsuki says as he frantically scoots closer. He envelops Todoroki in his arms once again, willing his own body heat into the other boy to cancel out the freezing power of his Quirk. 

To Katsuki's surprise, Todoroki shifts and rolls over so that they're face to face. Tears snake sideways down Todoroki’s face and melt into the pillowcase. Katsuki feels incredibly guilty for still finding Todoroki so beautiful.

Katsuki's hands find the small of Todoroki’s back, his fingers tangling in the cotton of his t-shirt. 

"I'm sorry," Todoroki chokes out, squirming and wiggling until his face is hidden against Katsuki’s chest. 

"Nothin' to be sorry for, icyhot. We all got shit to deal with," Katsuki mutters into Todoroki’s hair, wanting to lay a kiss along the part of red and white. But he refrains.

Todoroki just nods. Katsuki can feel his tears soak into his shirt.

They stay like that for what could have been moments or hours, for all Katsuki knows. When he hears Todoroki’s breathing even out again, and notices a faint warmth pulsating through the air, Katsuki sighs in relief.

It's amazing how one day can change so many things, he muses. Katsuki's world has been tilted off its axis in the span of mere hours, making him reevaluate almost everything he's come to learn about himself, about Todoroki. He knows, without a doubt, that he cares for the idiot in his arms. His moment of clarity had come the second Todoroki had let go of the railing.

Katsuki swears to himself that he'll make Todoroki realize how much he matters to everyone. And, maybe one day, how much he matters to Katsuki.

#todobaku #todobaku fic #tdbk #tdbk fic #bakutodo #bakutodo fic #bnha #bnha fic #my writing

[janusthesneakysnakeboi]

Moments from the new Sanders ASides video that had me screaming (or really, me screaming about the new video)

“RAIIIIID”

*Raid Thomas sounding like Roman/Remus*

“You bet your shiny metal AX”

“MASCULINITY IS A PRISON”

“Why do I pay for a membership if I still gotta watch the ads?”

THE FACT THAT THEY ALL ARE WEARING ONESIES EXCEPT THOMAS AND LOGAN BECAUSE LOGAN IS SERIOUS BOI AND THOMAS WELL,,, IS THOMAS

Also ROMAN CANONICALLY HAS LEGS***

ROMAN HAS ALL THE PILLOWS

VIRGIL IS SITTING ON A SURFACE THAT ISN’T MEANT TO BE SAT ON BUT IS SO RELATABLE BECAUSE I DO THAT EXACT THING WHAT

“Unless our problem is a hungry alligator-” “A remote possibility for a Florida dwelling man who never leaves his house”

Roman rigging the votes so it’s just Frozen and Patton is okay with that (WAIT BUT WHY IS PATTON CHILL (pun not intended) WITH IT???)

LOGAN HAD A CASUAL FALSEHOOD???? 

WAIT WHAT DID THE SIDES VOTE FOR??

“Thomas is in a bad place-” *camera pans to VIRGIL*

Roman calling Thomas a special snowflake

“Something good” *Frozen shows* “,,, or neutral”

“And from this point on, NO MORE NORDIC INSPIRED NUMBERS”

Virgil keep going back to the actual problem while Roman and Patton just like 90% forget the problem and Logan talks to and tries to calm Virgil

“I ALSO LOVE YOU OLAF”

“Cuties, I’m gonna keep you” “Ah you’re joking right? No you’re mine now”

“The heart is not so easily changed” “No it isn’t” *confused Patton noises*

“But, the head can be persuaded” “Can it though?” THAT SHADE AT LOGAN HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK

“Fear will be your enemy” *gay emo panic*

“So you’re saying lock her away because she’s dangerous” GOING BACK TO VIRGIL??? UH????

“JOAN!!!” They definitely wrote that line

Virgil’s mini existential crisis

Remus just yeeted up from behind the couch shirtless oh god was he jacking off to Frozen wtf

REMUS GETTING SO EXCITED ABOUT THE PARENTS DYING IS HONESTLY SO PURE EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT AT ALL

“I SLEEP IN THE B U F F”

“Did I screw everything up?” “No I threw out your vote so you wouldn’t do that” ROMAN WHAT

Roman: *calls Frozen a Classic* Also Roman: *Makes fun of the entire movie and demands a rewrite*

“How are you telling me to settle into something right now when you’ve taken your sweet time to settle into things that you were uncomfortable with in the past” THAT SHADE!! THAT TEA!! I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THESE *THINGS* PLEASE????

Patton: Let’s relax!! :) Virgil: Bruh I legit AM Anxiety that’s not in my job description

“How many times has our response to a difficult decision been half committing to one option and subsequently panicking about whether that option is our best option until it’s too late for Thomas to change his mind?” “7,430″ MOOD

“Why have a ballroom with no balls?” *Trash boi snickers at the dick joke that wasn’t there until then* "Nope, I’m an adult” (me me big boy-)

ROMAN’S IMPERSONATION OF HIS “EVIL PLOTTING FACE” HAS BE DEAD ON THE FLOOR

“AW MAN YEAH I’M LIKE SO FUCKED UP ON CHOCOLATE FONDUE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING RIGHT NOW” *Patton looks over, concerned* *Virgil looks over, annoyed* *Thomas glances over, lowkey amused* *Logan doesn’t even look at him and just grabs his tea*

NO TURN OFF LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR IT’S MAKING PATTON SAD (ALSO IS HIS CONNECTION PROJECTING? AND IS ROMAN’S RESPONSE A L S O ACCURATE?) 

“There’s no way she’s coming out of this situation without trust issues” honestly though yeah

“Not a footprint to be seen” “Except for the footprints behind you” “hEy YeAh” KEEP IT UP LOGAN YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE

Virgil: *Serious comment* Patton: “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see...” (did he sing the rest of the song or did he specifically choose these lines because if it’s the second one THAT CAN BE A WHOLE LOT OF ANGST AND I’M HERE FOR IT)

Logan canonically criticizes the movie at movie nights

ALSO GUYS THE VIDEO CAME OUT ON A FRIDAY SO FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE NIGHTS ARE CANON

“Do you think this ice castle has a lavatory?” “ICE TOILET” “Or a bed?” “ICE BED” “This place sounds awful”

“HE DEFINITELY FUCKS THE REINDEER” “ew”

“You meddled with the vote to ensure that we would watch this and yet you’re the one constantly making fun of it” FACTS LOGAN 

“This [^] is how I show my love” WAIT A MINUTE *Looks back at the entire series* HE MADE FUN OF VIRGIL SO MUCH SO WAIT PRINXIETY??? LAMP?? DR LAMP?? (is that the ship name because that’s this video basically*

Nobody:     Not a soul:     Roman: OLAF’S CONTRIBUTION SHOULD HAVE COUNTED AND SAVED HER

“Like... bruh” mood

“Take care of my sister” “You’ve already done a good job of that yourself Elsa” *hood falls off*

“Ah, we’re all gossipy bitches sometimes” “nO-” (also Roman channeled so much Remy energy right there headcanon they hang out all the time change my mind)

“Oh sweet Frank Iero” I’m using that now

“Just think about it” “LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE”

“Attacking a person for opinions they don’t have doesn’t really do anybody any good” Me: BECAUSE IT DOESN’T WORK!! AYYY YOU LISTENED TO AND ARE REFERENCING LOGAN IN LAST EPISODE??? OR AM I JUST TRASH??

“Oh yeah like me kissing a man is unacceptable?” What a power move though 

“AAAAALSJDFOAGHOKLNOIATYRGH” Mood

Ok but also like Virgil basically rapped like that rapid talking was as fast as a bunch of rappers and even faster than some

Logan using the grounding method that my therapist suggested gave me life

Most of Virgil’s grounding answers were existential and oof

“A sour taste in my mouth probably left over from those reheated thai noodle leftovers” *Confused faces*

“FIGURATIVELY” *DWIT has entered the chat*

“Thank you Logan” “No problem, just your cool teacher being his cool self” *sips tea* Felt that. Also I have a new reaction image now XD

“Take it from Frozen’s most inspirational song” Let it Go? “Fixer Upper” Oh but ya know what valid

“Throw a little love their way” Virgil *confused smile?? I think that’s what that is??*

“Elsa, we the villagers have thought it over and with no discussion whatsoever we’ve decided we’re not scared anymore and ice magic is actually cool as hell!!” YEAH WAIT A MINUTE OMG

Logan: *Lists all of Elsa’s powers, reading from a notebook (meaning he took notes while watching the movie which is so in character omg) and implying that there is no way any of that makes sense* Patton: Sounds okay that makes sense

“With Elsa’s seemingly unstoppable “ice powers” I’d imagine Arendelle becomes a global superpower. No military force of that time could ever stand a chance against her never ending army of ice golems” 

Nobody:     Not a soul:      Patton: “True love is a closed door that is eventually opened up to you!”

“What if your soulmate was there” “OH SHIT” I love Roman that was all it took huh

*Deceit has entered the chat* “HISS” 

“Don’t touch my shit”

I wish we got to see Deceit’s face there but I get it we couldn’t see him without his hat (except for in the bloopers videos but those don’t count) (Also they probably just didn’t wanna do the makeup for him because it’s a lot and it might’ve been a split second decision and someone else might’ve played him with Thomas just voice recording over it especially considering there’s overlap so they wouldn’t have just been able to split screen it)

“I was gonna rig the vote anyway”

“I don’t know what you’re asking”

Roman is the source of SFW fanfic and Remus is the source of NSFW fanfic and Virgil is the source of angsty fanfic

“I’m going to bed. IN THE B U F F”

THE NEW SWEATERS IM BROKE SO IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GET ME ALL OF THEM (at least just Virgil’s even though I love like all of them)

WAIT THERE’S SCARVES TOO OMG I ALSO WANT ALL OF THEM (or at least,,, nope all of them)

“We were trying to make a slightly simpler video” Video: *is longer than most of season 1′s episodes* *has full body shots of almost all the characters* *has like 5 way split scenes* *uses every side* 

WAIT LOGAN BROUGHT BACK OUT HIS ONESIE I LOVE HIM and he’s still got his necktie on just underneath it amazing

This video was just LAMP and potentially DLAMP and maybe DR LAMP if that’s the ship name. There were also a bunch of really good Prinxiety, Royality, Analogical, and Roceit moments in this one so I’m expecting fanfic hella soon

Also as of right now (I finished writing this at like 4am ET) we are still #1 on trending on Tumblr

***We never see Remus’s legs in the video so my theory of there is only one set of legs for the creativitwins still stands and is valid

#sanders sides #sanders asides #thomas sanders #healthy distractions #are there healthy distractions #athd #logan #logan sanders #patton sanders #patton #virgil #virgil sanders #roman #roman sanders #deceit sanders #deceit #remus #remus sanders #the duke #lamp #sanders asides spoilers #sanders sides spoilers #should i tag that? #kaiden speaks #my first reactions but also this was me rewatching it for the third time already

[elinaline]

Got tagged by @mixmio​ thanks ! my brain does not want to focus on work these days so perfect

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?

it’s like. black. I rarely use it though, because if I brush my hair it looks like a bomb exploded on my head fdjkfh so I untangle it after putting in conditioner and usually I just fight it with my bare hands in the morning

2. name of a food you never eat?

cucumber. fuck that vegetable it’s disgusting way too smelly and the texture is fucking horrible

3. are you typically too warm or too cold?

too warm !!!!!! and it’s only gonna get worse (: woohoo

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

I was being anxious lmao, and weirdly emotional because of that playlist spotify gave me. Also thinking about how to formulate the things I want on my report for my precedent internship that I still need to conclude.

5. what’s your favourite candy bar?

is it twix ? is it mars ? I never know the difference carambar good also

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?

I used to be in the official orchestra of a professional rugby team so I’ve been to a few dozens official sports events actually !! I’ll always remember the patrouille the France oing over our head as we were playing for a France-Ireland match in Bordeaux, that was amazing, and Irish rugby fans are so fun :)

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

“oh it’s bubbling up !” talking about a cake I’m trying to do with sourdough starter

8. what is your favourite ice cream?

fucking uuuhhhhh blueberry ? there’s no better ice cream taste than one made from wild blueberries that you went out in the moutain to pick with your family after noticing a good spot during a hike :3

9. what is the last thing you had to drink?

orange juice 5mins ago

10. do you like your wallet?

yeah ? it’s convenient I.... it’s got lots of pockets ? idk it’s sturdy wh. that’s a weird question actually

11. what was the last thing you ate?

lunch made by my roommate ! also a bit of the paste from aforementioned cake lol

12. did you buy any new clothes last week?

no I don’t intend on buying new clothes until a loooonnnngggg time I don’t particularly need any plus like. quarantine lol.

13. last sporting event you watched?

uh.

the. no wait ? no that’s it probably bits of the tour de france last summer ?

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn?

there are different flavors between salt and sugar ???????????? anyways salted popcorn is absolutely disgusting so. sugar. there are different flavors ? what a wild world we live in

15. who was the last person you sent a message to?

@breadstyx​ I was talking to them about the cake

16. ever go camping?

rarely

we were supposed to go camping this weekend, since it’s a long one what with May 8, with my class as sort of like one last big event altogether but :) fuck us I guess lol

17. do you take vitamins?

I used to in highschool bc I had toxoplasmosis and it fucking drained me. I’ve also taken some magnesium complements this year because I had vertigo caused by stress because it was such a nice year for me (: (: (:

18. do you go to church every Sunday?

LMAOOOOO NO

19. do you have a tan?

I’ve been stuck inside for the last two months and there is basically no direct sun in my apartment. so. I’m white as fuck rn

I’ll get SO sunburnt as soon as I can go outside lol but catch me rolling in the grass as soon as they reopen the parks, I haven’t seen grass in 52 days fuck off. Like knowing we’d get out of quarantine but that the parks would still be closed for a while did a funny number on my mental health hahaaaa

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

I’m not a big Chinese food fan generally :/ also what kind of pizza are we talking about ?

21. do you drink soda with a straw?                      

before I answer this question I need to know what you define as soda because I’ve never understood what non French people meant by that. also generally I don’t use straws apart for like milkshakes and smoothies

22. what colour socks do you wear?

right now I’m barefoot

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I haven’t driven in years my guy fdkfh but usually no I’m exactly at the speed limit I’m terrified of driving and I hate it SO

24. what terrifies you?

like, right now, or ? in general ? I’m terrified of every countries around slowly turning into authoritarian regimes and not being able to do shit, I’m terrified of the general mistrust towards science I can see in the general public, I’m terrified of the rise of fascism, I’m terrified of climate change in a very short term idea because I can’t bear many more summers above 45°C and in the long term because I’d like today’s kids to have a future, I’m terrified of never being enough and not getting a PhD funding, I’m terrified people will get bored of me or think I’m not useful anymore and leave me and I’d have to rebuild myself from zero again, I’m terrified of the general idea of losing control, I’m terrified of big empty spaces, I’m terrified of causing harm of any kind without being able to control or reduce it. You know the usual dose of existential fear and then some, and then some more for good measure haha :)

25. look to your left what do you see?

a calendar

26. what chore do you hate?

doing the dishes and getting the bin out because it hurts my back

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

":)” loved going to Melbourne would love to go back I miss my friend there

28. what’s your favourite soda?

seriously define soda first. If you mean drink with bubble I don’t like any of them basically. If you mean processed drink with an average of five sugar cubes per can I’d say Oasis ? or Ice Tea

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru?

never been to a drive through. fast foods yeah ! there used to be a Declercq (it’s like belgian fries, v good, v greasy, perfect for a friday night with friends) near my school but they had an oil fire so it burned down :( so now the alternative for greasy fries is BK

30. who was the last person you talked to?

@breadstyx​ whom I sent a message to about the cake. IRL I live with my roommate so.

t31. favourite cut of beef?

one that’s tender ? you think I know perfectly which cut is what and not that I don’t buy the cheapest one when I feel like polluting a lot with what I eat ?

32. last song you listened to?

I’m currently listening to a spotify playlist. I’s currently playing hang on

Willow tree by twin wild i’ve never heard of these guys but ok

33. last book you read?

oh fuck I’m in a “unable to read” period lmao. Probably one of the October Daye series uh. The one where her mom comes to steal her fiance and her twin

34. can you say the alphabet backwards?

zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihfedcba

took a while but I think it’s correct ? It’s like. I know sequences that are easy to invert and I need to link them together that’s the tricky part

35. how do you like your coffee?

black

36. favourite pair of shoes?

Before I bought my docks I had those huge bulgy shoes that I loved because no one could step on my feet in the metro, but the insole started caving in in a weird way and it hurt my ankle so I had to stop wearing them :(

37. the time you normally go to bed?

(: NORMALLY around midnight, but rn it’s more like. between 1 and 2 am when I’m not too bad

38. the time you normally wake up?

NORMALLY around 8 but I’ve decided 9.30 would be good, and I usually am able to get up only by 10am

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets?

I’m usually not awake for sunrises but both are good. I like the hour JUST after sunset best because it’s like. you can see daysky on one side and nightsky on the other, and everything is sort of blue or sort of orange

40. how many blankets are on your bed?

one

41. describe your kitchen plates?

they’re round and kinda concave so that food doesn’t get out ? I? do you have many weird questions like that

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I’m a sucker for a good piña colada but it’s hard to get them exactly right, like the balance between too sweet and too creamy is subtle

43. do you play cards?

in highschool I used to but I’ve forgotten all the game we’d do

44. what colour is your car?

don’t have one

45. can you change a tire?

lmao

46. your favourite province?

If we’re talking french region, Aquitaine is the closest I’ve ever felt to being home I guess ? I love the Pyrenées as well, all three old regions I don’t know the new ones fdfsdhfsdf

47. favourite job you’ve had?

I’ve only ever done summer camp counselor as a summer job, and I’ve had both a traumatising experience filled with sexual harassment and a really good experience that helpes me get more self confident so.

48. how did you get your biggest scar?

it’s not really a scar it’s a bump on my head that never left, I hit my brother in the garden pool at full speed when I was 7

49. what did you do today that made someone happy?

afaik nothing but I’m about to put this cake to bake SO

I am tagging uuuuuuuuuhhh say @sunny-day-sky andddd @queerlynx but like. don’t feel pressured to do it, it’s a Lot

#tag game #long post

[kalesandfails]

i like my body/ and it is not your body

My weekend was great, thanks! I ran ten miles each morning, and running is the closest I get to approximating what it feels like to have properly firing neurons. I listened to two loves of my life, Jon Lovett and Stacy Abrams (about whom I will write more another time, but don’t wait for that;  go give her project to resist voter suppression your money here). I read books to the literal piles of humans I have made, dizzy with the sheer acreage of their cheeks. I had a conversation with my autistic preschooler about Ariel — the first proper conversation my daughter has ever initiated with me.

So, I’m doing okay right now, thanks for not asking while I proceed to say some stuff.

I’m saying this not because my voice is the one that needs to be uplifted in a conversation about  either fat-shaming or ectopic pregnancies, but because I went to bed thinking about the distressing common thread between the current weird preoccupation of other seemingly uninvolved parties with the two phenomena. And because, while I think James Cordon, God among men, gets this, and I know that other survivors of miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, and the million other situations in which abortion has been a Godsend — as in, the best option or only tenable option for a specific human being at a specific point in time —I’m just thinking that maybe the people who need to hear it, literally cannot hear it enough, or from enough people, until they have plunked their toned, tailored-suit-wearing man asses into some comfortable seats, ones from which it is somewhat labor-intensive to emerge, and sat a round or two out.

The first is this: you, fat-shamer, and you, pro-lifer who, surprisingly, is willing to “let God decide” if a college student with a fertilized egg threatening to rupture her fallopian tube and kill her should live or not — since the role your God presumably had in supplying the skill and technology to save her life wasn’t a clear enough sign of His will, and despite the fact that God apparently can’t be trusted to supply Her children with appropriate sexual and gender identities — you get a single body and that is your body. And that body, and control of that body, are just going to need to be enough.

Look: there’s no reason to believe that someone who is insulting people over their weight has any strategic goal related to either health or weight loss. To claim otherwise, to walk back your antagonistic bullshit with a sanctimonious “but I’m concerned for [their] health!” : this a is mindbogglingly bad-faith argument. Because the human being you are shaming, or, honestly, any person acquainted with how people feel when you’re shitty to them, will point out that humiliating people and promoting discrimination against them doesn’t effectively motivate them to change their behavior, let alone the physical body they inhabit, and you will say — what, that it should?

At that point, it will become clear that what you, the fat-shamer, want, is for these people to change their bodies in response to your comments about whether or not they can see their penises or get laid or give you an erection; that, basically, what you are doing is doubling down on a system in which if you are a woman, you should feel embarrassed and subhuman if your body is an inadequately hot commodity for the consumption of this unnamed but all-important (male) consumer. (You, right? It’s you to whom we’re trying to make our bodies presentable?)

And if you, the fat-shamed, are a man, your worth is still determined by men, this time the ones who supposedly know how successful you are at getting women to have sex with you based on their opinions of your body, and who have decided that this is the metric by which your worth is established. (Side note: straight guys who know so much about what women want, I’m guessing you don’t want to rethink your premise that your estimation of other guys’ bodies is the one that matters when determining what women find attractive, but it would behoove you to do so. If there were one thing women don’t like (there’s not!), it would be straight guys mansplaining our sexuality to us).

Basically, what fat shaming is about in your sixties (because that is how old Bill Mayer is, friends!) is what fat shaming is about in sixth grade. It’s just one more way that a certain group of people, a group  with relatively more power than others and a deep fear of losing it, maintain that power by saying: I am going to tell you what matters, and I am going to tell you whether or not you have that thing that matters, and I am going to make it so painful for you to not have it that you will remake your body to get me off your back, because it is weirdly important to me to exert this control over you.

My furtive eighth grade crush got fat shamed in middle school, and he was pretty fat. But, you know, so did I, and I’ve never had a medical doctor express concern for my weight. Discouragingly, it barely registered with them when I was losing my hair and hadn’t had a period in a year. But other helpful randos, from grandmas to girls in my gymnastics class, started calling me fat at age four, and the only way I was able to stop them was to self-regulate so effectively that by the time I went to college, I was throwing up when I “lost control” and chewed too many pieces of Juicy Fruit.

That’s the goal of fat-shaming, fat-shamers: someone who has accepted your right to tell them who they are and what their worth so unreservedly that she can graduate Phi Beta Kappa on the one hand, but still believe that she is “too fat to sit down” on her graduation night. And — as one person with a running leitmotif I like to call “pathological need for control” running through my adolescence and early adulthood to another —- can I suggest you slow your roll and take a look in your own goddamn mirror?

I can’t speak to why a person might experience exerting control over the bodies of other people as catharsis, why what they need to self regulate is to make someone else feel worthless. I can only imagine that this bullshit behavior comes from the same sense of existential dread that makes two missed days at the gym feel like that a night in one of those sky cells on Game of Thrones to me. But I can be compassionate towards you and also take a hard pass when it comes to “tolerating” your “opinions” about the value of people around you, or your right to patrol the size of their bodies or to determine that they need to be harassed into having a body you like better. Your feeling about thigh gaps or whatever is your deal, but the fact that you think other people should be treated badly or should endanger their health in an effort to make their bodies acceptable to you is also, 100%, your deal, and not the problem or the responsibility of the people in those bodies. Take your body and do whatever you want with it, but shut the mouth part of it first.  

Similarly: I’m not going to explain to anyone why a fertilized egg in one’s fallopian tube is 1. not a viable pregnancy and 2. not something to “watchfully wait" over. “Watchful waiting” is appropriate when the risks of intervention are significant, or the benefits unclear, or both. In the very few cases in which this might be what a doctor would advise, that decision is made though a cost-benefit analysis with the mother, because the mother is the patient being treated. There is no “child’s life” to consider because, as with any pregnancy, but maybe especially an entirely nonviable one, there is no child yet.

If you are anything but shocked by the idea that someone should be expected to “wait and see” if their medically treatable and potentially fatal medical condition will kill them or not because of how another person, living in another body, feels about the situation, then you don’t give a shit about life. Not the life of that woman, which you are endangering. Not the lives of any existing children she has or partner she has or parents or students or siblings or friends. What you are saying, again, is that you decide what this woman’s life is worth — and your expectation is that she accept that when it comes down to it, your random feelings about her body both define the value of that body and should be factored into the clinical decision making of her medical provider.

As with our fat-shamers above, I’m just wondering where it came from, this idea that you’re entitled to control the bodies of other human beings, and the weirdly aggressive efforts to do so.

Are you ok, Representative? It seems to me you are not.

It doesn’t even matter that an ectopic pregnancy is not viable. Because pro-life arguments are about “preserving life” the way fat-shaming is about “promoting health”: that is to say, they’re not about that at all. It’s about being unwilling to either take responsibility for working out whatever damage you have, or to acknowledge that the way you are choosing to work that damage out is by violently exerting control over the bodies and lives of others.

Forcing a woman to carry a pregnancy she doesn’t want is violent whether that pregnancy is only somewhat likely, as it is in the case of a viable pregnancy carried in a country with the highest material mortality rate in the developed world, or pretty effing likely, as in the case where the pregnancy is lodged in a tube that will not accomodate it. When you legally compel another human being to risk her life carrying a pregnancy in her body because of how you feel, that is violent.

I want to have compassion for you, person who sees no better option than hurting other people to deal with whatever it is life has handed you. I’m something of a poster child for irrational or detractive ways of dealing with the parts of the world I don’t like: see above, where a teenage permutation of me was vomiting gum bile. But I also feel like we don’t serve anyone by looking the other way while they evade the responsibly we all have to handle our own shit.

Certainly you get that, right? If a person’s body size, the pregnancy they carry, their health status, are all issues of personal responsibility, surely you, too, can own up to the fact that you have this thing where, instead of overdoing it at the buffet  — or, I don’t know, getting pregnant in the wrong part of your body?  — you insist that other people’s bodies should be altered to your specifications, and that you should decide if those bodies are fed, or wear shorts, or receive medical care. You can acknowledge that this is a weirder and less palatable approach to managing your dark feelings than is eating too many carbs or whatever it is you think we’re all doing with our insufficiently controlled, overweight, inconveniently fertile bodies. You can set aside that weight-loss tea you’re sipping and consider that maybe, the one who’s “ready for a change” is you.

#james corden #fatshaming ectopic pregancies bodies

[lightanddarklove]

Connverse Week Day 7: Future

Fear the of the Future, but it's not so bad with you

Read on Archive of our Own | Day 1 prompt | Day 2 prompt |  Day 3 prompt | Day 4 prompt | Day 5 prompt |  Day 6 Prompt | My Writing Masterpost

Still not done with Chapter 6, but 4 has been completed, so check that one out if you liked Chapter 2, it’s a continuation on that Soft Jock fic. Hopefully I’ll complete Ch 6 in a few days.

This was inspired by the story of Regan's government cheese, which large caches of them are rumored to be in Missouri, called Show-me state here. Read this article about government cheese if you're interested: https://www.history.com/news/government-cheese-dairy-farmers-reagan

Connie's having some dark thoughts about what the future may hold, with the risk of societal collapse looming closer, but Steven's always willing to listen to her talk. A bit of existential dread and paranoia, but with a humorous lens. Connie Centric. Gen.

It wasn’t often that Connie felt the need to call Steven at odd hours of the night. More often, in the wee hours before morning, he would send a message to see if she was awake, with bouts of insomnia or the stray nightmare of old battles or threats. But at 19 years old, 2nd Semester of Freshman Year, she called him at 2:07 am on a cold Tuesday evening.

After four rings, he answered with a groggy “Hello?”

“I know it’s late, I’m sorry for that, but we are at 90 seconds to midnight-“Connie said in a rushed and anxious tone.

“Wait, no, Connie. Its 2 am, did you misread the time?”

“On the doomsday clock, Steven!” Her voice fretful.

“I’m sorry, you lost me. What doomsday clock?”

“You’ve never heard of the doomsday clock?” Connie blanched. Her voice hushed in an apprehensive tone. “How have I been this irresponsible not to tell you about this sooner?”

“Slow down, Connie. Why don’t you start with the reason you’re up so late?” Steven said through a yawn. “Then you can tell me about the doomsday clock.”

“I was working on a project, I wasn’t ready to stop but I was tired at 10:30, so I set a timer for 11:15 and took a nap.” She answered ardently

“Uh-huh,” he replied.

“When I woke up, I had a Tweeter notification for a news story about the Doomsday Clock changing. I was scared, but I had to finish my project. The project is about great famines in history, and when I was finished, I looked up something I had cited. I ended up in an article rabbit-hole that lead me to the story of the largest surplus of cheese in America. They’re deep in caves, the biggest store located in Show-Me. The conclusion I came up with is that when society breaks down, if it’s just the two of us, we store flour and pasta in Lion’s Mane, then we travel to Show-me and make government cheese the main staple of our diet. All we’ll have to do is find someplace to plant some easy to maintain fruits and vegetables and we’ll have no trouble managing through societal collapse! It’s the perfect plan!”

“Didn’t already discuss making a bunker in the Temple? Making Mom’s old room into a place with beds and storage and we can rewatch all our favorite movies and shows in there… Or did I dream that?”

“Climate change, Steven, the Temple could be underwater in a decade! We don’t want to drown as soon as we leave it!”

“Hold on, what about asking Lapis to change the shape of the bay to prevent the flooding? Presuming that what collapses society doesn’t also doesn’t also take out the majority of the gems.” Steven paused. “Also, what does the Doomsday Clock have to do with societal collapse?”

“It’s the measure of risk of the world ending in nuclear disaster.”

“…Oh.” Steven replied, voice cracking with dread. “Uh Connie, what does it mean that we’re 90 seconds to midnight?”

“It’s the closest we’ve come in the history of mankind to true societal failure. This measure was implemented in the Cold War, and it’s never been this bad before.”

“Connie, I love you,” he said somberly, “but if my shield or bubble doesn’t protect me from high powered radiation I’m going to ask you to go on without me.”

“Steven!” Connie squawked.

“Radiation sickness is no joke, I regret watching that documentary about Japan in WWII last year, and I don’t want to go out like that.”

“Your mom’s shield protected the gems from the Corruption blast, it would likely protect us if we’re not in an immediate blast radius.”

“I know, but I wonder if that’s different, because it didn’t affect human life on earth, only gems.”

“I mean humans could be fundamentally different now, we’d have to check genomics on right before and right after the corruption blast.”

“I’m adding that to my notes app to look up later.”

“I think you’d have to fund a study for something like that.”

“Adding ‘Talk to dad about funding a genomics study’ to that note.”

“So you think that we can go to Show-me if things go bad?”

“Cheese is the primary reason I’m not vegan, so I’m not opposed to getting that as a major food source. But also, are there any onions that will grow in that climate? Or beans? Because grilled cheese and mac and cheese will only satisfy me for so long. Gimme chili and cheese or something else with good flavor and I will be a happy man.”

“We’ll find a way, I know it,” Connie pledged.

“Do you feel better about the Doomsday Clock now?” Steven asked.

“Yeah, I do.” She replied. “Thanks for letting me rant about societal destruction and cheese for a bit.”

“Cheese Louise, I could listen to you talk all night, but you should get some sleep.”

“Ok, good night, Biscuit, I love you.”

“Love you too, Strawberry. Good night.” She hung up.

Connie sighed as she laid back into bed. She was lucky to have someone she loved to look forward to spending her future with, even if it was scary.

#Connverse Week #JambudWeek #Steven Universe: Future #Fanfiction #SU Fanfic #Steven Universe #Connie Maheswaran #Non-Betad #Doomsday Clock #Doomsday Prepper #my precious gem child #Government Cheese #my writing

[bamon4bamily]

TVD 9x04 (part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to – freaky old mansion library. Darius is sitting on a couch having a gin and reading what seems to be a really old book, the door opens… Matt enters.

DARIUS: Sheriff Donovan, I’ve been expecting you…

MATT: I know… (hands him an engraved wooden black box, then walks away).

 Cut to – Whitmore College, Elena’s dorm, early morning. 

Elena wakes up with a terrible hang-over. Bonnie hands her 2 aspirins and a glass of water.

BONNIE: Here, take these.

ELENA: Thank you, Bon… Listen, I’m really sorry about last night, I was way out of line… a royal bitch, really… I’m sorry.

BONNIE: Don’t sweat it, it happens sometimes… what’s important is that you figure out what you want and go for it… O.K.?

CAROLINE: And maybe stay away from shots for a while… (they laugh)

ELENA: I love you guys so much… Sure you can’t stay a bit longer?

CAROLINE: We’d love to, but we need to head back. We’ll see each other at our Halloween/reunion party, right? You better come!! And bring Sam!

ELENA: I wouldn’t miss it; and yes, I’ll bring Sam but only if you promise not to tease him the entire night!

CAROLINE: I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise.

BONNIE: Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Care… (Caroline winks, they hug and say their goodbyes).

Cut to - Salvatore mansion, later that morning. Damon comes into Stefan’s room. 

DAMON: I hate to say I told you so… but I told you so! Bitch is gone and took my car! My car, Stefan!

STEFAN: (Still snoozed, lying in bed) Wait, what? No… she wouldn’t…

DAMON: Did becoming a human, dying and resurrecting give you brain damage? I can’t believe I let you do this! I knew this was gonna happen and yet I chose to give you the benefit of the doubt… Now, zombie Kat is out there somewhere, driving my car! My car Stefan! I and only I can drive my car!!

STEFAN: (Mocking) Bonnie can drive your car…

DAMON: Shut up…

Katherine walks in with a bag of bagels.

 KATHERINE: Bagels, anyone? Got them fresh from the store… 

Oh, Damon (throws him his car keys), I hope you don’t mind, I took your car… (winks). By the way, it’s a piece of crap… 

Anyway, I’ll leave them in the kitchen, but don’t take too long; I swear, this coming back to life thing makes me so freaking hungry! (Walks out).

STEFAN: (To Damon) You were saying?... Now, please leave, I need more shut-eye.  

DAMON: (As he is walking out) Maybe not today Stefan but trust me, it will happen.

STEFAN: Shot the door on your way out! (Damon leaves it open to spite him; minutes later, Stefan hears Caroline yelling).

CAROLINE: Oh, no, are you freaking kidding me! Who the hell unleashed the stray cat!!!!!

STEFAN: (To himself) Oh, no… (gets out of bed, Caroline vamps her way into the room).

CAROLINE: Care to explain to me why the psycho bitch devil is calmly eating bagels in my kitchen?  

STEFAN: (Trying to be funny) She was hungry?

CAROLINE: Stefan! What’s going on?! Talk, now!

STEFAN: Care, I know it’s a risk, but she can help and right now we need all the hands we can get to pull this off…

CAROLINE: I know we do, but we can’t trust her! It’s too risky.

STEFAN: It’s just as risky as trusting Klaus…

CAROLINE: That’s a low blow…

STEFAN: Listen, Care, do you trust me?

CAROLINE: You know I do, so what’s your point?

STEFAN: I promise to make sure she doesn’t pull a Katherine… but we can use her help; plus, we might be surprised, maybe she is capable of changing, right the wrongs… we’ve all done some pretty horrible stuff and we found it within ourselves to be better…

CAROLINE: Well, you do make a good point. Fine, I will accept as long as you make sure she doesn’t make any trouble! I swear, I will break her neck at the first sign of deviation.

STEFAN: Deal! (They kiss).

CAROLINE: Let me talk to Bonnie before she takes care of Katherine on her own terms. Oh, and start getting ready for the memorial.

STEFAN: Sure… what about the twins, did you talk to them?

CAROLINE: We did, they can’t wait to see you. (Kisses him, then leaves).

Cut to – Damon and Bonnie talking in the living room.

 DAMON: He’s crazy, am I right?

BONNIE: He is. But I get where he’s coming from.

DAMON: Bon-Bon, this is Katherine we are talking about, the badest bitch of all!

BONNIE: I know but people can change, Damon; I mean, you did… so, there might be some hope…

DAMON: Well, can’t argue with that but I’m still not trusting her.

BONNIE: Oh, hell no; it’s one thing to be hopeful, another to be stupid.

DAMON: Anyway, how did it go with Elena, is she on board?

BONNIE: No, we had to abort mission, she’s going through an existential phase so we thought it would be best to leave her out of this one.

DAMON: But this is a huge one Bon, we can use as much help as we can get.

BONNIE: I know, but she needs a time out.

DAMON: Ok. Listen, Bon, I talked to Alaric about what we saw in that book… he thinks it has something to do with this crazy-ass cult called The Liberatus, Radka is helping him decipher an ancient scripture that might just hold the key to what we are looking for…

BONNIE: The Liberatus? I’ve heard that name before… or read it somewhere? Yes… I think I saw something about them in one of the Bennion’s grimoires… not sure.

DAMON: You probably did, Bon. The source… the link…  the Bennion coven… this freak cult… Darius… you… it’s all connected, we just need to figure out how…

BONNIE: Maybe Klaus’s house guest can tell us more?

DAMON: I’m sure she can… Batman & Robin team-up?

BONNIE: (Gives him a smirk) Oh, for sure!…

(After they finish their drink, she gets up) Well, come on Robin, let’s go fight some crime (mocking him).

DAMON: Robin? Oh, no, no, no…

I’m Batman! I’m Batman, Bon! Bats are associated with vampires and pretty birds with witches…

BONNIE: Pretty birds with witches, really? Ah…no. I’m Batman, and I get to drive the “batmobile”, so… (signals him to give her the car keys)

DAMON: (Rolls his eyes with resignation, give her his keys) Fine, but I get dibs on the music!

BONNIE: (Mocking) I’m pretty sure they don’t play Boyz II Men on the radio anymore…

DAMON: That was Stefan’s!

BONNIE: (Still mocking) Yeah, sure… (laughs, they leave).

Cut to - Matt and Khuyana’s house. Ty and Khuyana are talking in the kitchen, Matt walks in.

 KHUYANA: Hey, sleepy head. Didn’t hear you come in last night. Want some breakfast? More like late lunch…

MATT: Sorry, I got home really late, the Mayor needed my help with some things.

TYLER: I see exploitation is still a thing…

MATT: You know it. Listen, I have to go to the office, probably gonna be an all-nighter again. You two heading to the memorial?

KHUYANA: We are, aren’t you coming?

MATT: Sorry, I can’t, please tell Caroline and Radka I’m sorry…

KHUYANA: But you were the one that arranged everything… don’t you think it’s important you attend?

MATT: I do, but I really can’t (kisses her). I’m sorry, the Mayor needs me… and I need to pay the bills, you know?

KHUYANA: Fine, but they won’t be happy… and, we are supposed to team back afterward, grand plan and all, remember?

MATT: I do, please don’t make me feel worse than I already do… I’m working on my part of the plan, trust me.

TYLER: Sorry to change the subject, but you guys really don’t mind me staying here?

MATT: Ty, are you insane?! This is your house! If anything, we are the ones that should be looking for another place.

TYLER: No, this is now your house, I left it to you, Matt. I’ll find something else.

KHUYANA: Nonsense! You are staying here with us! This house is huge.

MATT: Yes Ty, you ain't going anywhere… this is our house.

TYLER: O.K., but if it gets awkward, let me know…

KHUYANA:  It won’t.

MATT: Great, so it’s settled then. I need to head out (kisses Khuyana, bro hugs Ty).

Cut to – Mikaelson mansion, Bonnie and Damon ring the doorbell, Klaus opens.

 KLAUS: I thought we were meeting later today, after the memorial? Did I miss something?

BONNIE: We need to talk to Danae, Aelish, or whatever her name is…

KLAUS: I’m afraid that won’t be possible, she is feeling under the weather.

DAMON: We really don’t care how she feels, get her, now.

KLAUS: Do you think just because you are some sort of vamperstain I feel threatened by you? (Lashes out at him) Know who you are talking to, Damon.

BONNIE: I suggest you do the same… (Displays her powers, brings him to the ground)

KLAUS: Bonnie… stop!

BONNIE: Get her down here, right now! (Attacks harder).

KLAUS: Stop! Bonnie… you’re killing me! She stops).

BONNIE: If I wanted you dead, you would be.

KLAUS: (As he recovers) Careful Bonnie, remember what we talked about… You seemed to have enjoyed that a bit too much… I will go get her.

DAMON: Bon, you O.K.? Gotta say that was pretty scary…

BONNIE: To be honest, I have no idea where that came from (looking concerned) … worst part is, I did enjoy it… feeling all that power… Damon, I’m worried…

DAMON: We’ll figure this out, Bon, I promise. Whatever is happening to you, we’ll find a way, we always do.

BONNIE: I really hope so cause I’m beginning to think Klaus maybe right… what if I can’t control it?

DAMON: You are much stronger than he thinks, you can do this, Bon. And, whatever happens, I’ll be with you every step of the way... I’m the Robin to your Batman, remember?... We got this. (Hugs her).

KLAUS: Oh, lovely (mocking); I figured you had better taste, Bonnie. A woman like you deserves a real man, not a child… Anyway, you may come in now, she is waiting in the living room… (Damon and Bonnie walk in).

DANAE: (To Bonnie) So, you are the precious “link”, I presume? You have no idea how long they have been searching for you… God damn the day you came into existence…

DAMON: Hey!

BONNIE: Listen, I’m just trying to figure out what all of this means…  I didn’t ask for any of it.

DANAE: Guess that’s true… I’m sorry, I just never thought this moment would actually come… that they would get away with it.

BONNIE: Who is, they?

DANAE: The Liberatus…

DAMON: So, they are real…

DANAE: Very much so; have been around for thousands of years. Generation after generation, they have been the puppet masters behind every single power structure, and responsible for the most heinous crimes humanity has ever seen. Rumor has it that Hitler was a Liberatus… they are obsessed with “cleansing” the world.

BONNIE: How come nobody knows about them?

DANAE: They have power over everything, never get their hands dirty, always have others do the dirty work for them and leave no traces that can connect back to them; that’s how they have managed to remain incognito this whole time.

BONNIE: And how are they involved with your coven?

DANAE: My ex coven, I don’t associate with psychopaths. (With disdain) That family was one of the founding members of the Liberatus…  

DAMON: One of? Who are the others?

DANAE: I don’t know. All I know is that the Liberatus are, beyond a doubt, lords and masters of the world… Absolutely everything is a chess piece in their board.

BONNIE: How can we stop them?

DANAE: (Laughs) Oh Bonnie, is that a serious question? You can’t.

BONNIE: I have all this new power, I’m pretty sure I can.

DANAE: You do, but this is not about that kind of power… you are a weapon to them, a very dangerous one, yes, but still just a weapon, which they can arm and disarm at their will.

BONNIE: I might be struggling to control this source thing, but I will not bend to their will.

DANAE: You won’t have a choice. You see, Bonnie, as supernatural beings we think we have power over humans because we have special powers that make us stronger, but we underestimate the human mind and what it’s capable of accomplishing… There are many highly intelligent humans with better tactics and strategy than most of us. They also have power, money, and therefore, access to very sophisticated and advanced technologies. And, let’s not forget, that they can be as ruthless, if not more, than any supernatural being.

DAMON: We don’t need a sermon on us vs. them, if you actually have any useful information, spit it out.

DANAE: As I said, that is all I know… But, Bonnie, you really need to be careful, that kind of power can make anyone go mad… Oh, and one other thing… don’t block your psychic powers because of your ethics, they can be very useful if you are attempting to fight them…

BONNIE: (Sarcastically) I’ll take that under consideration, thanks. (To Damon) Well, seems like that’s all the info we are going to get, so let’s go.

DANAE: As a closing note, some insight on my dear brother; you and Darius are the only psychic witches ever to exist, and it’s no coincidence you met. Trust that the bond you share will confuse you, and when the moment comes you might not be able to deliver the final blow…

BONNIE: Oh, I’ll deliver, don’t worry about that, but, thanks for the tip.

DANAE: You may be more powerful than him, but make no mistake, he is the master of illusion, and persuasion...

BONNIE: He’ s very good, no doubt. But I’m prepared this time.

DANAE: You better be... (Damon and Bonnie leave).

KLAUS: You didn’t tell them everything…

DANAE: I told them what they needed to know.

Cut to the Mayor’s office, Matt walks in.

 EDWARD: Sheriff, I trust you delivered my package?

MATT: It’s done.

EDWARD: Excellent, believe me, it’s for the best; keep your enemies, closer and all…

MATT: I don’t understand, we know where he is, why not just take him down right now?

EDWARD: Patience Sheriff, this is like a chess game, doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as it’s checkmate.

MATT: What about the rest of them?

EDWARD: Bring one down, bring all of them down.

MATT: Listen, I have to go back to the station, I still need to go through those documents…

EDWARD: Yes, please do, and let me know if you find what we are looking for. (As Matt is walking out) Sheriff, do you like clowns?

MATT: What?

EDWARD: Clowns… do you like them?

MATT: When I was little, I guess. Why?

EDWARD: Just curious... (Matt leaves).

 Cut to – Salvatore school, student’s memorial. The twins see Stefan and run to hug him.

 LIZ & JOSIE: Uncle Stefan!!!!

STEFAN: Girls!! I’m so happy to see you!!!

LIZZY: I can’t believe you are alive! Are you alive? (pinches him to make sure).

STEFAN: Ouch! (Laughs) Yes, yes, I am.

JOSIE: Please don’t leave us again!

STEFAN: I won’t, I promise. (they keep hugging).

KLAUS: Ah, isn’t this sweet? (To the girls) Hello ladies, delighted to see you.

LIZ & JOSIE: Uncle Klaus! (They hug him).

STEFAN: (To himself) Uncle Klaus?

KLAUS: What have my favorite twins been up to?

JOSIE: Learning some really cool magic stuff from Aunt Bonnie!

KLAUS: I’m glad, she is one, if not the best, so pay attention.

JOSIE: We always do.

KLAUS: Good for you.

LIZZY: Josie, come, let’s go get dad! (They leave).

STEFAN: Klaus, what are you doing here? We are supposed to be meeting later.

KLAUS: I came to pay my respects.

STEFAN: You didn’t even know them.

KLAUS: Well, neither did you… but this is important to Caroline so, here I am. (Caroline approaches them).

CAROLINE: Klaus, you came… Thank you.

KLAUS: Of course I did, you ask, I come… Plus, I would not miss an opportunity to see you in a black dress, love. (Stefan rolls his eyes).

CAROLINE: Come on you two, it’s about to start. Where the heck is Bonnie and Damon? They were supposed to be here over an hour ago!

KLAUS: They are not here yet? They left my house more than an hour ago…

STEFAN: They were at your house? Why?

KLAUS: Wanted, or rather demanded, to talk to my friend Danae.

CAROLINE: And? What happened?

KLAUS: Nothing, they talked, they left.

CAROLINE: (Calls Bonnie’s cell) Come on Bonnie, pick up (Damon and Bonnie arrive) Nevermind… (hangs up). Bonnie! Where were you?!

BONNIE: Sorry we’re late… we’ll talk later, O.K.?

CAROLINE: (Looks at Damon and Bonnie suspiciously) Oh, you bet we will! Everyone take a seat; the ceremony is about to start.

 The memorial is held, filled with kind words, tears and laughter.

 Cut to – Police Station, Matt in his office looking at some documents, a Police Officer knocks on his door.

 POLICE OFFICER: Sheriff, something came for you, can I come in?

MATT: Yes, come in. (Police Officer comes in).

POLICE OFFICER: Here (hands him an envelope).

MATT: Who sent this?

POLICE OFFICER: I don’t know, got delivered by mail. There is no name or forwarding address… (Matt takes the envelope).

MATT: Thank you Officer (the Officer leaves. Matt opens the envelope, it has an antique key engraved with the letter L and a hand-written scripted note with a date - October 31st, a time - 24:00 and some coordinates).

TO BE CONTINUED...

TVD 9x04 (part 2) coming soon! Hope you stop by, read and enjoy! =)

#tvd fanfiction #bamon fanfic #bamon #damon and bonnie #bonnie bennett #damon salvatore #Kat Graham #ian somerhalder #kiansomergraham #kianbamonsomergraham #vampire diaries #animeeyes21 #minalblood #stephm1587 #mademoisellevalerie85 #absentmindeddreamer #ilovefanfic86 #luanahensi #maniq1 #awsomebamon #bamonisawsome #bamonisreal #Belvafore

[psychiccupid]

All the asks.

YES!!!! THANK YOU!!!!

ALL 45 FROM HERE UNDER THE CUT!!!

0: Height? I’m 5′3″ last I checked!! (which was a while ago >w1: Virgin? Helllll no2: Shoe size? 8 1/2!3: Do you smoke? I vape ‘cause I’m cool but I’ve never had a cigarette and I’ve only smoked weed three? times and each time I did it out of a pen and felt nothing lol 4: Do you drink? Occasionally! I love me some rum and vodka! But it’s been a while... mostly a social drinker...5: Do you take drugs? Nope6: Age you get mistaken for? I passed as a teen until college now I just look lie a perpetual 20+ year old lol7: Have tattoos? NO BUT I WANT 5!!!!8: Want any tattoos? OH WHOOPS... I WANT 5!!!!9: Got any piercings? Just my ears! But when my stomach reaches a personal goal size I’m gonna pierce it as a reward! 10: Want any piercings? God dammit... lol... I want a belly button piercing :D11: Best friend? I HAVE LOTS OF BEST FRIENDS!!! @hatgh0st @nicecreamdeer @teslagannon @mentalserendipity AND @puggger BEIN’ MY CLOSEST FRIENDS :’)))))12: Relationship status? I’m dating @puggger but it’s open and poly! 13: Biggest turn ons? Bite. My. Ear! Breathe. On. My. Neck! Shower me with constant adoration and momentarily cure my ever looming existential crisis :> 14: Biggest turn offs? Bigots. Toxic Masculinity. Insulting me or the things I love. 15: Favorite movie? Tie between Tangled and Kimi no Na Wa!16: I’ll love you if? *Coughs* YOU SHOWER ME WITH CONSTANT ADORATION AND MOMENTARILY CURE MY EVER LOOMING EXISTENTIAL CRISIS! And talk to me about Pokemon and Anime ^-^17: Someone you miss? @hatgh0st DDD’‘‘‘: 18: Most traumatic experience? Yo I’m not going into that lololol19: A fact about your personality? I will /always/ act happier than I am so if I’m upset I’m about to lose it.20: What I hate most about myself? “Now, we don’t have time to unpack all of that...” I’m not a huge fan of how I look physically - but absolutely my face and stomach overall. 21: What I love most about myself? I love my personality and how I don’t really give in to society or peer pressure. I love how I refuse to give up my passions and do not really care about material possessions. Not that that’s bad!22: What I want to be when I get older? Anything creative!! But especially a voice actor or a professional cosplayer!!23: My relationship with my sibling(s)? Eh... 24: My relationship with my parent(s)? EH... Like I love both of my parents and my sister... but I need like four months away from them for every week I spend with them y’know?25: My idea of a perfect date? FIRST We go to an aquarium! We spend hours and we both get excited reading about all the different fish!! SECOND we have lunch/dinner by the beach. It’s sushi. We inadvertently hold hands and then dip our toes in the ocean while you compliment my bonnet and matching swim suit. Walking along said beach is a must if there’s time! FINALLY we go to a dive-in movie. Ideally, they’re playing Kimi no Na Wa so I may cry into the pool. You, without really thinking about it, say, under your breath “You are the Takeshi to my Mitsuha” (though if you reverse the names I won’t be upset). We get spontaneous Safeway cheesecake on the way home! (You give me your raspberry piece in exchange for my double chocolate piece). We fuck. Afterwards, I get to sleep as the Big Spoon. I get to wake up and cuddle you.... you said perfect not financially acceptable lolol26: My biggest pet peeves? INDECISIVE PEOPLE. Especially negative people (like, people who know how to make it better but keep complaining... this is mostly about me lol). Boys who don’t know how to play the Question Game.  27: A description of the girl/boy I like? Cares about absolutely everyone. Has the voice of an angel! Wears pigtails and likes dying her hair! Likes to dance and play dress up and dreams of performing for crowds... uh duh... of course I’m talking about Hatsune Miku 28: A description of the person I dislike the most? UhhhhhHHHHH like... I could go broad here and just put Trump but like... I’m trying to think more personal?? Hmm... like I could put my mom too but I don’t dislike her the most? UHHH @ my own anxiety: Tells me the world is a lie and that we’re in a simulation and that I need to wake up. Makes talking to bosses/people above me impossible. Tells me no matter what that I’m doing something wrong and that I’m not good enough. 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend? Didn’t wanna hurt their feelings? The truth was worse than a lie?30: What I hate the most about work/school? Going. Capitalism. I have a degree. 4_ years of retail/food service work under my belt AND I’ve worked at Disney and I still can’t get more than minimum wage. 31: What your last text message says? “Nah I’m ok I just feel bad” yup.32: What words upset me the most? “How can you be gay if you’re dating a boy?” “Ok sure you’re Enby. But why do you still relate to women?” “This is my daughter, Jessica” 33: What words make me feel the best about myself? “Wow! You could make a career out of this!” “This is really good!” “You’re working really hard aren’t you?” “You are smart.” 34: What I find attractive in women? Absolutely everything. I’ve never met a woman who didn’t blow me away. All women are so pretty and talented and so strong and I love them all!35: What I find attractive in men? Anytime they have feminine hair/features I lose my goddamn mind. When they’ve come to accept every part of themselves and are super confident not because that’s what they’re used to but because they really worked for something! When they’re genuine and they get that sparkle in their eye!! 36: Where I would like to live? Anywhere I can be me and creative! Right now it’s looking like Austin, Texas... but LA or Tokyo... LA ‘cause that’s where I feel like I have to go... Tokyo ‘cause that’s where I’ve wanted to go since I was 7 but I don’t know if I could live there...37: One of my insecurities? Everything??? But I’m very insecure about how I look. I have a mighty fear that I do not get far in life because I’m ugly as sin (I’m not but god I think so). 38: My childhood career choice? In order from age: 4: Vet, 11: Lawyer, 14: Software Designer, 16: Gene Specialist/Splicer, 18: Calculus Teacher, 19: Script Writer, 19: Stage Actor, 20: Costumer/Cosplayer/Voice Actor (Not that I haven’t been doing these since I was 16, but I didn’t decide they could be career choices until college) 39: My favorite ice cream flavor? Phish Food, Cookies N Cream, Cookie Dough, Raspberry!40: Who wish I could be? SOMEONE HAPPY. A professional voice actor!41: Where I want to be right now? Hmmm... probably Tokyo? The Pokemon theme park that existed in 2002ish! In a line about to meet Arin Hanson? Back in bed lol? ON THAT DATE I MADE EARLIER!!42: The last thing I ate? Leftover gluten-free pumpkin spice & blueberry pancakes ^w^43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately? HALEY FROM STARDEW VALLEY! ... Audrey from Huniepop... 44: A random fact about anything? I can name 21 digits of pie from memory and I am very talented knowing what a pokemon’s national pokedex number is :’D  

#about me #me #WOOOOOO #guys please read 25 #Anonymous

[guardians-of-blood]

More incorrect quotes! Hooray! (i will add the title later)

Ray: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Tsubasa: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Ray, desperately, as Tsubasa bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa: Oh! B positive.

Ray: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa:

Mars: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Kuno: I think you mean cards.

Mars, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Pluto: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Mars: Stop romanticizing the past.

Ray: Where are you going?

Tsubasa: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Kayda, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Vian: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Kayda, with the tone of someone who is used to Vian: Outstanding.

Kayda: This is what I’m talking about people.

Pyrrhus: Vian was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Vian: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Pyrrhus: Vian, you ate a chair.

Tsubasa: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Kuno's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Nina: What's wrong with you?

Celeste: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Tsubasa, texting Ray: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…

Ray′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.

*Later*

Ray, texting back: Fuck you.

Celeste: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Burnet: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Celeste: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Valkyrie: Why? Cause they're big and scary?

Celeste: Because they're dead.

Ray: I failed my safety training course today.

Tsubasa: Why, what happened?

Ray: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Tsubasa: And?

Ray: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Tsubasa: We all have our demons.

Tsubasa, grabbing Ray: This one’s mine.

"I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Ray."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: I have an idea.

Ray: A good idea?

Tsubasa: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"You know what’s funny about Ray? He's my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt him is someone I’d murder, probably."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Tsubasa: Not you Ray. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Ray: I have no fears.

Kuno: What if one day you woke up and Tsubasa was taller than you?

Ray: I have one fear. 

*on Ellen*

Ellen: So I hear you tweet about wanting to die

Celeste: haha yeah, I do

*Death comes out, creeps up behind her*

Celeste: omg Ellen you didn't 

Kayda: Weird. All my shirts are disappearing.

Noir and Pyrrhus: *wearing Kayda’s shirts for the 5th time in a row* Spooky. 

Celeste: Does anyone have any questions?

Basil: *Stands up* Okay, well I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been going through a lot lately.

Celeste: That’s not a question.

Basil: And I know you’ve often wondered: “Who is Basil, really?”

Noir: Nope, never.

Tsubasa: Until February, I thought your name was Jasper.

Basil: You know, there are times when I look out these windows, and I know you’re all thinking, “What makes the measure of this man?”

Mars: Oh my god, you’d better be dying!

Basil: Look, I’m telling you all, with pride and excitement… and a lot of pride, about the new and improved Basil. Noir, give me a beat!

Noir: Sorry, what?

Basil: When somebody asks for a beat you just, you don't ask a lot of questions. You just get down on it.

Noir: Oh, you want, like, a syncopated thing or, like, a vibey thing?

Basil: Just do it. Hmm? *Basil sings '80s pop rock song about being Bisexual*

*All the Dreamseekers stare at him*

Basil: Oh, come on. You guys aren’t weirded out because I’m bisexual, are you?

Pyrrhus: No, we’re weirded out by the fact that you interrupted the meeting to tell us that.

Celeste: Anyone have questions? Besides Basil, who seems to think that every Dreamseeker meeting is about him for some reason. 

Noir: *Having an existential crisis* Do you know… what it’s like to be afraid of yourself?

Vian, thinking about that time he ate an entire family sized bag of doritos in one evening: God dude I sure do. 

Feliks: Shit, I’m late for school!

Feliks: Oh wait, I’m 20.

Feliks: I’M A TEACHER!!! 

Vian: A spoonful of Nutella counts as lunch, right?

Pyrrhus: Vian, that will kill you.

Vian: I'm only allergic to like four things in it.

Pyrrhus: VIAN!!!!

*somewhere else*

Noir, terrified: What was that?!

Kayda: That was the call of someone who is very pissed and on a mission to fuck someone up.

Basil: So, how’d you convince all of them to betray me? What’d you offer them?

Chalcedony: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.

"bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches"

- Kuno Aurich

"So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress"

- Raymond 'Ray' Seidel

Vian: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over his mouth* I said stop eating it.

Tsubasa: *writing a letter*

Tsubasa: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Ray: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Tsubasa: All I drank was Redbull!

Ray: How many?

Tsubasa: Eighteen

Tsubasa: Hey, are you okay?

Ray: Yeah.

Tsubasa: You don't look okay...

Ray: Then stop looking.

Mars: Fight me!

Pluto, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Tsubasa: I'm going to fight the next person who insults Ray.

Ray: I hate myself.

Tsubasa: Alright, square up.

Pluto: Know why I called you in here?

Mars: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Pluto: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Pluto: When's the last time you slept?

Mars: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Pluto: A few- how many?!

Mars: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Pluto: What you need is sleep!

Kuno: When you’re gay in your house with nobody else, you’re homolone

Ray: When you’re bi and there’s nobody else around, you’re biyourself

Basil: Please stop

Feliks: Top 30 reasons Feliks is sorry. Number 5 will surprise you.

Mikael: TOP 30 ANIME DEATHS. NUMBER 1, YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!

Leni: Ray, are you high?

Ray: Am I what?

Leni: High.

Ray: Hi.

Pluto: So what’s for dinner?

Mars, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

Pluto: Am I in trouble?

Mars: Take a guess.

Pluto: No?

Mars: Take another guess.

Pluto, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Mars.

Mars: How did you do that without turning around?

Pluto: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Pluto: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Mars: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Pluto: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Mars: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Pluto: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Mars: No! Four to five seconds!

Pluto: Too late!!!

Pluto: I was arrested for being too cool.

Mars: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Pluto: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Mars: Thank you

Pluto: I didn't say that was a good thing

Mars: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Pluto: Okay, truth or dare?

Mars: Truth

Pluto: How many hours have you slept this week?

Mars:

Mars: ...Dare

Pluto: Go to bed.

Mars: I don’t like this game.

Mars: I’m going to take you out

Pluto: great, it’s a date!

Mars: I meant that as a threat.

Pluto: See you at five!

Mars: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Pluto: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Mars: Absolutely not.

Pluto: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Mars: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Pluto: Okay, help me please!

Mars: Got two words for you.

Pluto: I bet they won't be helpful.

Mars: Your problem.

Pluto: I was right

Kuno: Why did you give Luth a knife?

Tsubasa: He felt unsafe.

Kuno: Now I feel unsafe.

Tsubasa: Sorry.

Tsubasa: Want a knife?

#incorrect bloody war #incorrect oc quotes #incorrect quotes #oc #raymond seidel #tsubasa amanogawa #mars voclain #kuno aurich #pluto nightshade #kayda starshatter #vian sapphirus #nina bendette #celestia underwood #burnet stormshade #valkyrie combat system #basil stormshade #feliks orlov #mikael orlov #magdalene seidel #thats leni aka rays sister #luther aurich #trilogy of terror #winter evergreen #astral connection

[stephhannes]

is march madness the same thing as seasonal depression?

most days are normal, i function.  i wash my hair, i go to the grocery store, i have conversations without forgetting what i was saying in the middle of a sentence. i accomplish the tasks i need to do without struggle, i go to bed at a reasonable time, and i sleep for a normal amount of hours.

and some days i’m paralyzed. i’m too sad to move. i look at old pictures for hours and i read through old conversations until my eyes are blurry and i play the same voicemail on repeat. on the worst of these days, i sleep so long that i get texts from people asking if i’m still alive.

one-third of the year, persephone has to return to hades.  one-third of the time i just, disappear.

nathan used to describe my depression as a “disappearing act” so maybe i did learn something from working at a magic show, after all.

every once and awhile i’d have a handful of days where i’d have just enough good energy to go to work, and anything more than that was too emotionally taxing, i was too exhausted to be a functional person. i never realized that it was obvious to other people when i was really struggling- but as soon i’d start to snap out of it, nathan would always say, “wow welcome back, i missed you.”

there’s a scene in it’s always sunny in philadelphia when a timeshare salesman asks dennis if he’s ever been to florida, and he responds with, “been there? ….not physically.” we had a version of that joke at the theatre- were we at work? well, physically yes, but mentally we were all astral projecting to a place with less magicians.

that was me on the bad days. physically i’d be at the apartment, but mentally i was astral projecting to a place where i was less depressed. i still have days like that, the only problem is that now i don’t have anyone around that notices and i’ve caught myself sometimes losing like a week to my depression. but for the most part, i don’t have the really bad days anymore.

it’s a step up from when i felt like a visitor in my own body almost full-time.

i never posted a blog about what my february looked like, mostly because i did nothing for the entire month. i stepped foot out of my home three times. my step counter will tell you that i averaged 159 steps the entire month, and there were actually 6 days where i took 0 steps. there were only three days where i took more than 80 steps. here’s the graph to prove it- 

 +++

it feels weird to finally have an answer. months ago, when nathan’s autopsy initially came back inconclusive, i had resolved that we probably just wouldn’t know what happened. and 12 weeks after that when toxicology came back clean, i was even more steadfast in my belief that we wouldn’t get a clear-cut answer. realistically, there was a part of me that knew there has to be some kind of answer- but i was completely okay with never actually getting it. and then we got it.

i’ve always really hated when someone dies and then everyone’s reaction is “oh be sure to hug the people you love! u never know when something could happen!” it’s like how i hate the people who use valentine’s day as an excuse to make up for the other 364 days a year they don’t do anything nice for their partner. i’ve always been very intentional in my relationships, making it abundantly clear how i feel about people constantly. i always write dumb love letters to my friends, i’ve always been the person who gets drunk and is immediately like HEY I LOVE YOU to every person in the room with me. i think a lot of times when someone dies, people feel a specific regret of “oh i wish i had told (person) how much i love them” but like, it was borderline disgusting how affectionate nathan and i were.

he’d leave for class and then 30 minutes later he’d text me and be like, “hey i miss you.” or like, he’d fall asleep and i’d text him some dramatic ass paragraph about how much i love him, like this one from august 2nd- “hi you’re asleep right now but even though you keep snoring real loud i love you a lot. thanks for asking me to marry you. i know that neither of us were really the type to even like consider marriage in the past but i’m really glad that we get to do this. you’re my favorite person and getting to spend the rest of my life with you (with the added tax benefits) is really all i’ve ever wanted. so far you’ve been a pretty great fiancé, so i guess i’ll keep you for at least a lil longer. i am so glad that i’m yours because you’re such an incredible partner. anyways, i’m sorry that i’ve been gone a lot lately, i’ve missed you a lot but hopefully soon things will be back to normal and i’ll be back to snoring in your ear all night. ok goodnight i love you i’m excited to hang out with you this weekend.”

so on one hand, i feel great because even though i have like 5 new suitcases of baggage- at least i won’t have to check the “shoulda been more open about my feelings” bag. but on the other hand, after finding out what had happened i still had an existential crisis/panic attack when i was reminded that “oh life is fleeting and can just be taken away randomly and nothing truly matters and what am i doing here and why did this happen all i’ve ever done is be a good person but that doesn’t even matter and death is imminent please send help”

one night when i was drunk, i remember telling one of my friends that i feel like i’m immortal. but not in the cool, “i’m a 7000 year old witch,” way but in the “i’m plagued by the curse of immortality where i have to watch everyone else that i love die,” way. i remember feeling like this after my dad died, but now i’m just convinced.

+++

the best thing about march is that it’s truck month. the worst thing about march is that when it’s over, truck month ends and april starts. i’ve been dreading april for the last seven months. the 10th is nathan’s birthday, the 26th is mine, the 30th is our anniversary and it’ll also be the 1 year anniversary of our engagement. i knew that going to new york was something that i needed to do at some point during april. and luckily the only window where it’s reasonably priced to fly there falls at the end of april. so from the 23rd to may 7th, i’ll be back. it’s partially because cody’s been begging me to come back and i miss her but also because i can’t imagine being anywhere else during that time. the last time i was in nyc was back in november, and i was still in a pretty bad place then. so i’m excited to return now that i’m significantly less of a shell and more of a person. i’m setting my expectations for myself very low: if i make it through the two weeks without crying in public, it’s a success.

+++

you know that inspirational quote that’s (definitely not factually true) something like “Every single cell in the human body replaces itself over a period of seven years. That means there's not even the smallest part of you now that was part of you seven years ago.”?

i think that’s me- but with dyeing my hair blue. like clockwork, somehow, basically every 7 years i dye my hair blue. and it’s always marked some Life Change. the first time i did it, i was 10 years old- that was the first time i’d ever dyed my hair. we used a semi-permanent dye and it got all over everything, including my skin, and i looked like a smurf for a week. the second time was eight years later, the day after high school graduation. and the most recent time was the other day, six years later.

i don’t know what it means, but if i was more of a romantic i’m sure i could come up with some deep metaphor. i’ll just stick with the fact that i put off dyeing my hair blue because of how hard it is to maintain, how it gets everywhere, and how hard it is to get rid of.

+++

i feel like the tone of this was overwhelmingly bleak, but i promise i’ve been doing better. i’ve even started applying for jobs recently. it’s almost like i’m trying to get my shit together! i got rejected for a job as a copywriter at bumble, and then a day later one of my tweets got like 300 likes so i’m sure they’re really regretting turning me down now. it’s fine, i’m not bitter. 

[thesinglesjukebox]

MORRISSEY - SPENT THE DAY IN BED [4.17] While visions of controversy danced in his head...

Iain Mew: Hmm, I wonder why Morrissey would want to advise people to disengage politically? This is sub-specious.  [1]

Katie Gill: Jesus Christ, when you think Morrissey can't be even more of a parody of himself, this song comes out. This is just peak Morrissey, pretentious existentialism wrapped in so much gloom that Eeyore would tell him to cut it out a little. The biggest crime of all is that you know someone out there is interpreting that chorus through a #fakenews lens and writing their think-piece as we speak. [3]

Thomas Inskeep: A new Morrissey song based around electric piano? With trombones and violins in addition to his usual, long-serving, crack band? I will happily take it. This sounds just different enough from his recent work, yet still Morrissey enough, to be fresh. Sure, his lyrics used to be his strongest suit, but they're not anymore (and haven't been for a while), and I can accept that. Musically this is marvelous; Moz has been working with Joe Chiccarelli long enough now, that they seem to have a musical understanding. For all of this, I'm quite glad.  [8]

Hazel Robinson: I nearly didn't listen to this, so convinced my review would merely be "for fuck's sake" -- it is, completely, but also the perma-frustrating "for FUCK'S sake" of a rehabilitated Morrissey fan because this is fucking GREAT, from the lovely, grim lyricism of "I'm not my type/but I love my bed" going into a chorus more on-point than anyone who reps for UKIP should ever be allowed to be. Jaunty tracks about how life is garbage and we should all just stay in bed masturbating is my fucking jam and now fucking Morrissey is, like, denting the pillow next to me. Grief. I just want to be allowed to millennially decline (although of course, in the gig economy, staying in bed all day unless it's because you've had to turn the heating off is strictly a previous-generation's luxury) without this man turning up and inadvertently writing a relatable anthem about it.  [9]

Anthony Easton: Sometimes clever self-indulgence curdles into cheap narcissism, especially when the writing is stupider than it's ever been.  [1]

Edward Okulicz: There's this thing Morrissey started to do a while ago -- and has just kept getting more frequent as his good songs have become less frequent -- where his voice gets all smug and preachy, like he's doling out wisdom that you simply must listen to, and it is extremely unbecoming. And he unleashes it right at the worst moment -- "stop watching the news." Apparently it makes you feel small. And let me tell you, just this once, he's the expert. [3]

Alfred Soto: He doesn't sing as if gargling through hot cement, and he doesn't overplay the lyrical wink toward masturbation. The electric piano marks the first such prominent part since the early nineties. So... what then? His best single since "The First of the Gang to Die." But to listen to Morrissey as if several years of repulsive statements to the press were intended as classic-era bon mots requires ignoring the coquettish way in which he demands political disengagement: if you ignore the hateful things I say, you'll have a better time. He reminds me of too many deluded fools in my life who pine for a color blind society. Still, it's a catchy motherfucker. [5]

Alex Clifton: I can't take this song seriously because: (a) there's a boingy-sounding synth that sounds like Tigger bouncing around, which is a weird sonic detail; (b) Morrissey's lyricism is about as embarrassing as it always has been ("I love my bed"; "in sheets for which I paid/I am now laid"; "no bus, no boss, no rain, no train/no emasculation, no castration"); (c) I'll be damned if anyone in 2017 tells me to entirely ignore the news, because the world's on fire and that's not something I can take sitting down. In another year, I might be charmed, but I'm maddened that anyone would have the audacity to release a song like this (and a decently catchy song at that, too) in this political environment. Morrissey will be fine in his comfortable sheets, and I'm annoyed about it. [3]

William John: "Ignorance is bliss," in the sense that sequestration from certain forms of media is an appropriate response given their preponderance to contrive the truth to suit their own agenda, is a mantra sometimes espoused by the self-designated "enlightened." It's deliberately myopic, and ignores the fact that many do not have the luxury or privilege to be able to switch off from politics. It's the sort of creed favoured by those that disapprove of politics mixing with other things like music or sports, forgetting that whether we like or realise it or not, almost every decision we make as human beings is grounded in politics in some way. Morrissey, who after a long career of anarchy now simply seems determined to place himself as counterpoint no matter the subject matter, advocates for this ignorance in "Spent the Day in Bed". It's a disappointing enough position even without the insipid instrumentation he pairs it with. [2]

Joshua Copperman: I'm not sure how I feel about the lyrics, which seem to condone Tina-Fey-sheetcake behavior. Because this is Morrissey, there are some hints of irony and awareness here - "I'm not my type but I love my bed", "as the workers stayed enslaved", but it's hard to buy into the sentiment when simply ignoring the news is just about impossible at this point. At least in America, if you're a group directly targeted by this current administration, you need to pay attention (can you be protected by civil rights laws, can you be sure that your employer will cover insurance for birth control...) What really saves this, though, is the massive production, with heavily compressed drums and a surprisingly funky Wurlitzer riff doing the extra work of creating a deadpan atmosphere when Moz doesn't go far enough. [6]

Katherine St Asaph: I'm sure the answer to this is "earlier than you think," but when the hell did Morrissey start sounding like Twenty-One Pilots? [3]

Rebecca A. Gowns: Morrissey has long since devolved into self-parody and is now in prime Old Man Morrissey mode. "Spent the Day in Bed" is the natural ridiculous progression after songs like "Don't Make Fun of Daddy's Voice," "I'm OK By Myself," "Dear God Please Help Me," "You Have Killed Me" -- he's aware of the joke, thank you very much, but that won't stop him from being extremely serious about it regardless. Oh! I'll just spend the day in bed in my luxurious morose pajamas and hand-write letters to friends about how I don't watch the news, I don't even own a TV. Yes, it's a character, "Morrissey," but it's also... clearly... Morrissey. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#Morrissey