#i didn't have time to kill myself. respectfully. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

demiesworld · 11 months

Note

Hi. Firstly love your writing. Secondly (only if you want to write it of course if not I thank you for taking time out to read this) may I request Hantengu clones reacting to their first kiss with S/o?

【♛demie: yes you may and i do apologize for taking so long to get to this request! i hope you enjoy it!】

first kiss with the hantengu clones (sfw)

pairings: sekido, karaku, aizetsu, and urogi x gn!reader

synopsis: hantengu clones sharing their first kiss with their s/o.

notes: reader is gender-neutral. no pronouns are used. reader is of age. in sekido's the reader thinks that he is a monk and sekido gives them a prayer. it wasn't my initial idea to go for it, but it fit in with the plot so i kept it. if i was incorrect with some things or offended anyone please let me know, respectfully, and i will remove it. otherwise, enjoy this! p.s. sekido's is also pure word vomit bc i wasnt thinking of sticking to a decent size script.

— SEKIDO

When Sekido first met you, a human, his first thought of you was that you were weak. You were weaker than him, a demon, because of your mortality. In his mind, humans were susceptible to illnesses and diseases that weren't easy to cure with herbs and medicine. So when he encountered you in the cold hours of the night inside of your hut, after slaughtering and cannibalizing half of your village, his original plan was to just eat you alive.

But when he saw you, something in Sekido couldn't bear to even touch you let alone eat you.

You were laying on your back on a shiki futon next to a burning fire pit and covered by a thick blanket. He could hear your labored breathing and pained grunting at each breath you took. It didn't take a genius to notice that you were sickly. The beads of sweat on your forehead and dazed look in your eyes was a tell-tell sign that you weren't in good health. To him you looked too pathetic to kill.

He was standing in the door way and then turned his back to you. He got ready to leave when your croaky voice spoke, "A-Are y-you a m-monk?" His shoulders went tense as he stood there listening to you, "P-Please m-monk... I'm a-afraid that I don't have... much time."

Sekido huffed in annoyance, but he turned on his heel and further walked into the hut. He stood in the shadows to keep his appearance hidden, not that you – a weak human – could do anything to him. You were most likely on the brink of death.

"Thank you... I-I want to a-ask if you c-c-could pr-pray for me. My health has not been well as of lately, and my family do not live here with me in this village. I've just been taking care of myself, but as you can see I'm not doing a very good job." You let out a soft chuckle though it turns into a coughing fit and eventually subsides, "I will be honest with you monk, I am not a religious person, but if a simple prayer from you would alleviate me of this sickness then I will turn over a new leaf and b-be forever g-grateful..."

The anger demon gripped tighter on his staff as he placed a knee on the floor. Why was he entertaining you? Why was he still here? He should have left you for dead, but his body is refusing to leave. Sekido sits fully on the floor now, crossing his legs and holding the shakujō to his shoulder.

"What is your name?" He asked you. Your heart swelled up with gratitude and you smile affably to the person you thought was a monk. Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes when you state your name to him. "That is a beautiful name. I will give you a prayer now, let us close our eyes and start."

Sekido waited for you to shut your eyes first, before he began the prayer that you requested. The prayer was solely for you and he prayed to relieve you of your sickness. He prayed for you to be healed, your suffering to be freed, and for protection to be bestowed upon you. When he was finished with the prayer, he stood up from the floor and just looked at you blankly.

The anger demon didn't know exactly how to feel when he left you in the hut that night and returned to his counterparts. They asked him where he went to which he ignored the three and trekked in the direction of their next mission destination.

After his mission was complete, Sekido returned to you a night later and found that you were still sick. Your condition did not improve. He had asked you if had eaten and your response was you tried but you kept vomiting. He was a demon, and he didn't know of any herbs or medicine that could cure whatever you had. He stayed with you and gave you prayers to help ease your mind at the least. Sekido would show up to your hut every night at an odd hour to sit with you, offering you his company, and give you a prayer.

One night, Sekido made a decision that could possibly affect him for better or for worse. After consideration, Sekido poked a needle into the tip of his finger and held the bleeding digit to your chapped lips. He let the blood drop several times onto your tongue before pulling it away and regenerating the skin there.

That night Sekido sat with you for a while waiting for any signs of improvement after he gave you a taste of his blood. You didn't show anything, so he figured that you must have passed away. He got aggravated. It was a waste of his time to be stuck here thinking that you – a human – would be alive.

He left your hut that night with the firm belief that you had died. What a pity. What a waste of a time. It clearly showed him that humans, especially a person such as yourself, shouldn't be bothered with trying to strengthen. He couldn't say the word "help" because to him that meant he was performing an act of kindness. Something that he, a demon who felt solely anger, couldn't be synonymous with.

As he went on about his own life, Sekido would ignore the pangs he felt in his chest whenever thoughts of you crossed his mind. He would make battles between him and his counterparts against demon slayers short because he wanted to return to their safe house quickly. Every time he came across a human that he wanted to feast on, that was weak like you, he couldn't consume them. He would just kill them and leave their mutilated body behind.

His counterparts appeared to have notice his slight change in demeanor. Though neither of them made a comment on it. They didn't want to address it for fear of Sekido's rage.

It was maybe a month after declaring you as dead, when Sekido felt a strong pulse out of nowhere surface. He had been resting at their manor when he felt it arise. The demon thought danger was coming and he quickly grabbed his staff and ran out into the rainy thunderous night.

The strong pulse came again and this time it was getting closer. Good. The closer it got the easier it would be for him to kill it. He chases the origin of the pulse to a clearing in the forest. As he neared the center he stopped in his tracks and searched his surroundings for any incoming attacks.

Just as he was about the lure the attacker out with his lightning, Sekido heard a faint shout, "Monk!" and it eerily sounded like you. "Mooonk!" the voice gotten clearer, and louder, you were getting closer.

Sekido turned on his heel to his right to see you running into the clearing. Your clothing was drenched from the pounding rain just like his own, but to his astonishment you were alive. You were on your feet. You were breathing. You were speaking. You... survived.

"Y/N..." he murmurs your name as you slow down to stand right before him. There was no shadows or obscurity covering his face. You could see Sekido for what he truly was. A demon. A human-eating, murdering, demon.

You threw your body onto his as you embraced him in your arms. Why were you hugging him? Shouldn't you be repulsed by the sight of his face? Why weren't you running away from him? Your arms squeezed him tighter and your face buried into his chest.

Sekido's hand comes up to your head and cradles it gently in his grasp. He stands there, still like a statue, as he listens to you speak, "I never got to say thank you for saving my life monk. Without your prayers, I don't think I will be alive right now. I owe you my eternal gratitude and I wish to serve you."

The anger demon looks down at the top of your head and blurts out, "Why are you not running from me?"

You ignore his question and look up at his face. Your lips curve into a radiant smile, "I never saw your face before, monk, you are quite ruggedly handsome." You say as you take a hold of his hand and bow your head. "Please take me to where you rest your head and we shall both explain things to each other."

Sekido growls and squeezes your hand in his own, he scorns at your wince, "Answer my question first."

"I don't want to run away from the person who gave me a second chance at life. Not when I owe them my life in return."

"Are you stupid? Are you blind? Do you not see how I look, human?" He interrogates you, before bellowing, "I am a demon!"

"And I don't care!" You shout back, your lips trembling as you refrain yourself from crying. "I don't." You whisper.

After a brief moment of silence between the two of you, Sekido unwillingly led you to his manor where you two talked over what happened. You explained that after Sekido had given you his blood, you woke up the next morning feeling stronger than before. Your fever and chills went away, you could actually move on your feet, and the bruises you had from being bedridden were gone. You told him that you had tried to walk out into the daylight, but your new body couldn't stand the sunlight so you were left to do things out at night.

Unlike him, you didn't get cravings for humans, you still ate human food. Sekido went on to tell you that he wasn't a real monk and that he was an upper rank demon. He said he found you that night sick, after slaughtering and cannibalizing your village. He didn't even want to kill you or eat you because you looked to be on death's door step anyways. Though when you cried out to him he was forced to stay around. When you asked him why he kept returning every night, he refused to explain why. The only answer he had given you was that he felt pity for you.

Following your discussion over that, you asked him once again if you could stay by his side. To which Sekido allowed you to, but you would only be introduced to his counterparts as his ward. You agreed to that. You stayed underneath Sekido's watch and protection while living with him and his counterparts at their hideout. Sekido arranged for you to sleep in the same room as him, though not in the same bed.

Eventually, you and Sekido grew closer to each other and when you were alone you both liked to lay next to one another. Kind of like tonight, with you laying on his bed facing him while he had his eyes shut. You closely admired the purple veins on his forehead and eyes, the curved horns, and sharp pointed fangs that stuck out of his mouth. He was, in your terms, ruggedly handsome.

"I can feel you staring at me, human," Sekido mutters with his eyes remaining closed. You let out a short chuckle and he adds on, "Why are you staring at me?"

You reached up to cup his cheek in the palm of your hand. You answer his question softly, "I'm just admiring your face, Sekido. You know you are not as scary as you look. There's a few rough edges to your appearance," You didn't flinch when he opened his eyes and crimson hues were fixedly narrowed at you. Your finger delicately touches his jawline then the bridge of his nose and finally his furrowed brow bone. "But there's also the softness that I'm fond of." You smile brightly at him.

Sekido took your hand in his own and murmured, "What are you talking about?"

You didn't say anything instead you leaned closer to him and confidently pressed your lips to his. The demon's eyes widened at the feeling of your lips touching his own. He laid there stunned and still until you slowly pulled away from him.

A giggle past through your lips when you noticed the bewildered expression on his normal scowling face. Suddenly Sekido's hand came to the back of your head and pulled you back to his lips. His mouth locked in with yours while his tattooed tongue delved into the cavern of your orifice. You gasped into his mouth from the unexpected kiss, but returned it with just as much vigor as he bestowed.

You kissed him until your lungs were crying for air and only then did you finally pull away to pant against his supple lips. Sekido's face was tickled by the puffs of air onto his skin.

"I have lived for over two centuries, and never have I encountered a human like you. You are foolish if your wishful mind thinks that a demon like me would ever learn to devote their life to you."

His cruel words were strikingly different from his earlier actions. Though you didn't bother to argue or point it out. While it certainly wasn't an explicit explanation of rejection, you smile regardless to him and lay your head on his chest. "Then call me a fool then, Sekido, because I don't think my mind will change when it comes to someone like you."

— KARAKU

You chirping with glee as you sat on Karaku's lap and patted powdered makeup that matched his dark skin tone onto the areas of his face that had purple veins on it. You held his chin in your other hand while closely examining for any spot you may have missed. Thankfully you didn't and you slid off of his lap while grabbing a handheld mirror and showing it to your lover.

"Look to see if I covered everything up." You say.

He takes the mirror out of your hand and looks at his reflection, his green eyes narrowing for any missed spots. "Hm... I think you covered everything up fine." He then turned to you with a frown and pointed to the horns on his head, "Now what are we going to do about these?"

Your face warms up when you remember the horns on his head. You didn't think about trying to hide them so you didn't know of any method of doing it. As far as you knew, Karaku couldn't conceal them. Therefore you were left with only one option.

With a cheerful smile you blurt out, "We can just tell everyone that they're a part of your costume!"

Karaku grimaces at you, "If you wanted me to dress up as a demon, we could have just forego the makeup and I could have just went as myself."

"Y-Yeah, but what if people get scared by how...devilish you look?"

The demon stood up from the bed and folded his arms above his head, "So? My devilish charm didn't stop you from mounting me like an animal." He smirked at the flustered expression you made.

"You shut your mouth! We've never even gotten that far!"

"Yet." He interjected.

After he made you fluster and stammer over your words again, you decide to ignore your lover for the time being and went to get dressed for the night. Tonight, you had established a date with Karaku by going out to a festival in the entertainment district. Of course there would be people there dressed in bizarre clothing, so you believed that Karaku could attend it without a problem. The only thing you had difficulties with was concealing his horns. Once you were dressed in your outfit for the night, you instructed him to dress in his black yukata tied with a red obi.

You left with him to go to the festival, while you were there some children were in awe at Karaku's "mask" and said he looked like a formidable demon. He arrogantly boasted about his muscles, showing his arms off to the kids and letting them hang off of it like a monkeys in a tree. Eventually they left you two alone and you and him enjoyed your time at the festival. There were some occurrences with Karaku almost exposing himself as a demon. Such as him tossing a ring and when he didn't land on any of the flasks, his supernatural strength was exposed when he slammed his fist on the counter and broke through the surface. Of course, the humans around you just assumed he was a overwhelmingly strong brute and paid him no mind.

As the night grew to a close, the musicians at the festival played lively music at a venue. The strings of the samisen, pounding on the taiko, and whistles of the shakuhachi sing. You took Karaku by the hand and led him in a graceful, animated dance. Your fingers were intertwined with his as you two dance closely to each other's bodies. The radiant smile you had never once faltered from your face as you moved your body to the rhythm of the music.

"Thank you for coming out with me tonight, Karaku," You say as you stare lovingly at him. Your heart was beating in your chest like a drum, and you had an inkling Karaku could hear it even with the music playing in the background. "I really enjoyed myself with you here."

The demon's lips curved up, his fangs peeking through when he did so and his hands settle on your hips. "The feeling is mutual my little human." His eyes softens at yours, and lids lowered as he leans closer to your lips.

Your face heats up when he leans intimately towards you. You try to back away from him, but Karaku is quicker and he keeps you pinned to his strong body. A flutter rises in your stomach. Your hands tighten on his shoulders, and you keep your feet planted on the ground.

"Karaku," you shyly whisper his name.

He doesn't say a word, instead his lips closes in on yours and the distance between you two is shortened. Your eyes shut as you perceive his warm and soft lips on yours. An idea crosses your mind to embrace Karaku by locking your hands together behind his nape. He could taste the sugary flavor lingering on your lips from the candied treat you had ate earlier. While the savor of it was unpalatable to his demonic appetite, Karaku found it to be rather nice as it was solely comparable to your gentle spirit. As your breaths mingled through the exhales of your noses, your hands moved up and fingers weaved into the thick wispy tresses of his hair.

The passionate kiss you shared with Karaku was abruptly short by the loud explosions of fireworks bursting in the night sky. You two pulled away from each other, and your eyes were locked. The explosion of fireworks weren't the only thing enchanting you that night.

— AIZETSU

You were laying in your bed, sleeping underneath the warmth of your blanket, at the time a gust of crisp air entered your room. The wind lifted your blanket away from your body and carried it to a desolate corner where it dropped into a heap. You unconsciously flinch and move into a fetal position. A candle you had lit beside your window got extinguished by the strength of the breeze. In seconds, you slowly awoke from your slumber and drowsily took in your surroundings in your bedchamber. As soon as you turned your head to your right you see an all too familiar dejected face framed by wispy onyx hair and luminous azure eyes.

You lift yourself up to sit upright and look up at your demonic significant other. "Aizetsu... what are you doing here?" You asks him softly. His sudden arrival was entirely unexpected as usually he would send you a letter about coming to see you in advance. With him appearing to you now in the dead of the night, you had wondered if anything went wrong with a mission he been assigned to.

He places his spear against the wall and slid off the bulky ropes around his shoulders. He takes a seat on the bed beside you and looks at the wooden floor. You don't utter a word when he reaches out and grabs your hand in his. Aizetsu's thumb strokes the top of your hand whilst gingerly holding it.

"Aizetsu," you repeat his name again and close the distance between your bodies. "What are you doing here?"

The sorrowful demon stops stroking your hand and tightens his grip on it. He quietly says, "I'm sorry for arriving without letting you know. We were in the area and I really wanted to see you before we left for our next mission." His head turned to face you with a troubled expression.

Your eyes widen and your body freeze for a moment. Then you mull over what he just said, and your face brightened. He separated from his other counterparts so he could visit you before they departed. It was thoughtful of him to do that.

"I'm happy to see you tonight, Aizetsu."

Your words took him by surprise as he stuttered, "Y-You are?" He questions, and leans his face closer to yours. The demon gently cups your cheek in his hand as he pleaded, "Please don't tell me you're saying that just to ease my misery."

You could feel your heart beat quicken from how close he was. You could just how many eyelashes he had and analyze the plum-colored ridges below his eyes. It was astounding despite how many times you spent with Aizetsu you were always nervous around him. You wonder if it was the same feeling for him.

Gradually, the distance between your lips closed and you felt sparks fly when his lips touched yours. The kiss wasn't anything too sensual or too dull, to you it felt just right. Aizetsu didn't want to encourage you into deepening it either, so the two of you just sat there feeling one another's lips in a sense of innocence.

Your lack of awareness of your surroundings was dwindling until the sudden bang! of your door pulled you away from the demon. Startled you both looked to where the origin of the sound came from and were annoyed to see none other than Karaku standing in the door way.

"Time's up kiddos, Aizetsu has to go with us now to the next location!"

You let out a sigh and turn your attention to your sorrowful lover, "I take this as you have to leave now, yes?"

Aizetsu nodded his head while he stood up from the bed still holding onto your hand. "I will be back for you, my beloved. Next time I will send a letter before surprising you again like this."

"You don't have to send a letter of notice anymore Aizetsu. If you surprise me like this again with a visit then I will be happy."

— UROGI

"UROGI!" You hollered from the from the ground and watched as your part-avian demonic lover flew through the sky terrorizing children. You knew that he wanted to eat them for sustenance, and while he was a demon and you were a human, you didn't want for him to do that to children. At least to keep his need to eat humans away from your sight and mind.

Once more you shout out his name, "Urogiiii!!"

He chortled and flew right past you shouting, "Just a moment my sunshine!" Your face fell into a frown when he did that. You could hear his boisterous laughter and the sound of children screaming afterwards. You did not want for him to consume those kids so you ran as fast as you could towards the sound.

"Urogi, do not eat those children!"

You came upon your lover and a small group of children, you thought that he had already began to eat them. Fortunately, you were wrong. Urogi was just playing with the human kids, and letting them climb on his back while he flew around with them. The stomach twisting feeling you had went away and you were relieved to find out the children were unharmed. Some of them had bright grins on their cherubic faces as Urogi leapt up towards the sky with three of them on his back and circle the glade.

The demon winked at you from above and played around with the children for a while. You waited for him to eventually descend from the ground safely with the kids and told the group to not tell their parents that a bird-man was flying around with them. For one, you didn't want to get into trouble, and two you didn't want for Urogi to end up getting killed by a hashira. To keep the children's promise not to tattle, you offered them candied treats if they wanted to play with Urogi again and led them to the path of their village before waving them goodbye.

After you watched the last child leave to go into their village, you turn your attention to Urogi and scowled at him. "Urogi! What the heck were you thinking?! Those children could have told their parents!"

"Relax, sunshine, those children weren't hurt were they? They'll be fine!"

You smack your hand to your forehead and rub your temples, grumbling, "That's not what I meant you bird brain! Children have loud mouths, if any of them tell someone about a bird-man flying around with them, they will come to get you!"

Urogi rolls his eyes at your excessive worry, "Calm down, do you want to go flying with me too? Is that it?" He took a step forward when you took a step back.

"W-What? No! I don't want to go-"

"Let's go for a ride, sunshine!"

As soon as the words left from his mouth, Urogi snatched you by the waist and took off with you into the night sky. The shrill shriek you emitted echoed as you wrestled with the demon to let you go. However you immediately stop once you realize that if keep struggling, and Urogi (accidentally of course) drops you, you could end up looking like a pancake. You glare at you lover who just smiles at you cheerfully.

You throw your arms over his shoulders and shout, "This isn't funny, Urogi!" Your eyes take a peek at how high up you are and you quickly hide your face in the junction of his neck and collarbone. A small fearful whimper resonating from you.

"It's not funny for you but I am having a joyous time right now!" He lowered you two towards the ground, though still he hovered just a few feet above. "Now does this make you more comfortable sunshine?"

"Yes it does."

You caught him off guard when you planted your lips against his. The kiss was fleeting, yet it still brought his mind to a brief pause. His golden eyes widen at you and he stood with his feet on the ground. The demon looks away from you once you start to grin.

"What's wrong my birdie? Did that kiss catch you off guard?"

"Don't tease me like that sunshine or you could end up in a predicament."

notes: it was not my intention to use gifs created by the same person lol but they all looked really good so- why not? also sorry for not posting as much, i have been fairly busy and also mentally drained these past few weeks.

#demon slayer #hantengu clones #hantengu clones x reader #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #sekido x reader #karaku x reader #aizetsu x reader #urogi x reader #sekido #karaku #aizetsu #urogi #sekido x you #karaku x you #aizetsu x you #urogi x you

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whumpsday · 1 year

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Kane & Jim #48.5: Helpless

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: captivity, vampire whumpee, begging, death wish, victim blaming, mentions of offscreen torture/gore

not quite long enough to be a chapter, not quite short enough to be a drabble.

Kane was desperate. After two months of nonstop torture and not a single drop of blood, he was willing to do anything in order to make the pain stop. The problem was, there was nothing he could do. He couldn't fight or run or hide or die or defend himself in any way. All he could do was beg and hope any given hunter would take pity on him.

So that's what he did.

"Please help," he pleaded, looking up with watery eyes from where he knelt. This was the fifth hunter he'd tried this on- he didn't even bother with the true sadists, but with any hunter who showed an ounce of restraint, he begged for salvation. "Please, help me! I'll do anything, I just want it to stop hurting, please. I know my place. Please do something, please make it stop, I need help!"

Time and time again, he was rejected. Hunters would slink off uncomfortably, tell him to shut up, or laugh in his face. But no one ever helped. He was a vampire, everyone knew he'd tried to kidnap a human only two months ago, everyone heard the death threats he had made when he still had fire in him.

By the third month, Kane had started begging for death. It was just another form of begging for help, really. He was starting to believe he'd never get out of here, and he just couldn't do this for years and decades and centuries, he couldn't.

"Please kill me," he'd weep, eyes caught between desperate fear and dull, lifeless misery. "I can't do it anymore. Please, I can't take any more, please let it end. If you just let me have your stake for a second, I can do it myself if you want. You kill vampires all the time, don't you, sir? Please, I need it to stop, please just kill me."

And yet, again he was denied. There was less laughing in his face this time, more uncomfortable looks. These hunters stopped visiting, their relatively-light punishments filled in by crueler hunters. Closed fists exchanged for whips, steel knives exchanged for silver ones. It was never explicitly said.

One hunter coldly explained to him, looking down at him with disgust. "I won't kill you. You deserve everything you're getting here, just like every leech." He kicked him, and Kane crumpled in on himself. A kick from a human would have barely even bruised him just months ago, but he was so weak, now.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry."

Kane was wrong. He could take more, no matter how much he thought he couldn't. He didn't have any other choice.

He'd curl up in a little ball in the corner and plead for them to stay away. He'd look up at them, on his knees, and beg for mercy. He'd follow every order to a tee, even the ones that hurt, even the ones to stay still as they rent flesh from bone or pressed terrible burning silver into him, making his frayed nerves light up with agony. He'd do it all, just for the promise of mercy.

But here, mercy wasn't the absence of pain. It was the absence of more pain, and it worked just as well for the hunters' purposes. Because anything he would be willing to do for the pain to stop, he would be more than willing to do to stop it getting worse.

Stay still for the steel knife or we'll use a silver one. Only speak respectfully or we'll cut your tongue out too. Come here and position yourself, back to me, or it's an extra 30 lashes.

No matter how hard he tried to be obedient, no matter how much he begged for mercy, for less pain, for a drop of blood, for death, he was afforded no relief aside from the occasional hunter being willing to call it quits early. It was the only thing he had, as small a reward as it was, and it reinforced his behavior tenfold. He could be good, if it meant a little less pain.

There was no help in his new life.

will add taglist in reblog

#kane and jim drabbles #whump #my writing #begging #vampire whumpee #captivity #death wish #whump writing

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toconolaw · 7 months

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Puzzled comatos

Triggered warnings in tags, I know some of y'all be lying about age but please aware of what you read. I myself am not sensitive on these topics but others might be so please read my tags before reading, now this peice of writing it not that bad just small hits here and there. Enjoy! My rules

"Let's fall in love!" [name] said so abruptly to the man in front of her. The man was confused but not caught off his guard by her ladyship's words.

The man felt a sort of sorrow for the ladyship he sees before him. He bowed respectfully to the princess. "My apologies ladyship but I do not have eyes for you. I am just a knight." He proclaimed loud enough for just her to hear just in case if the walls were listening...

[name] looked saddened by the result to her statement. But nonetheless nodded sheepishly to indicate that the said knight was dismissed. "Maybe in another life, hm~ Knight Sebek." She then turned to the way of her chambers and soon when inside her room.

The knight did not respond to that statement. He was currently conflicted by the princess's actions. This wasn't the first time [name] has done this. Even the rest of the royal family knows. Everyone assumes she was super fond of him.

Seeing nothing wrong with that, Sebek become her play-mate, bestfriend, and even loyal servant. Yes, he would lay down his life for her ladyship but that was expected of him to do so. It was in order to protect her ladyship from harmful behaviors and even magical items.

The princess was isolated but not because of neglect. But because she was allergic to magic. Magic itself can kill her. To the normal person it can kill them yes, but she can't even be near people with magical auras. This is why the royal family was surprised to see Sebek being close to [name].

[name] was so so happy to now have someone to play with or to even talk to face to face and not on paper. She easily fell in love with her personal knight. She started courting the man when she realized her own feelings towards him. When they both turned fourteen of age.

Now they are now sixteen years old and he would always reject her. At first she thought he didn't understand she was doing but she soon realized he in fact did know. But she still tried.

She was told by her mother that she would never be able to marry. Not with how weak she was... She can't even stand next to someone with magical pressure for seven sake without almost dying for a week! "Words on paper hurt so much.."

As harsh as those words were. Her mother was correct. She wouldn't be able to make the next generation of royals... Even though she is the first born of her family, it was now going to be one of her siblings. When they seem fit to assent to the throne.

She was devastated when her own father told her again by a letter. She felt it was unfair. The people of this kingdom deemed her a title. A title one should hold with pride but it wasn't an amazing one it was one she hated. As it remained her of the situation she was forever in... "Princess Unfortunate"

There was a way out of the life she was in and that was death. The lovely lady [name] has been contemplating on how to die.

'Now how do I make it look like an assassination...' she was deep in thought. As she was having some hot tea, Te de Oregano to be exact.

[To be continued] ch.2

Idk what I am going to call this fic yet but please do give suggestions! <3

-love 🌮🌹

#tw rejection #tw mentiones of suicide #tw mental health #tocorose🌮#twst x reader #rose talks #twisted wonderland #fake scenarios #twst pov #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fic #twst sebek #sebek zigvolt x reader #fantasy au #first fic #twst #puzzled comatos twst fic

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icewazowski · 11 months

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Little Bird

Valeria x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3.7k

AN: Not a particularly spicy one, here’s some warnings; NSFW 18+ slight thigh riding, deception, reader doesn’t know who Valeria is

Kate Laswell's eyes never left mine as she presented the briefing to me, it was supposed to be easy. Undercover work was my forté, it was something I'd nearly perfected during my time in the military, and now I was practically Laswell's lap dog for these sorts of missions. "Do you have any questions?" She asked me after bombarding my brain with knowledge of who my character was.

At first thought, I didn't have any questions at all, but the more I delved deeper into the woman code-named, 'Serpent', all I could think about was what drove me. The motivation behind wanting to join El Sin Nombre and be in their cartel opposed to doing good. I couldn't just be someone who did it for nothing, "Kate, what's Serpent's motivation?" I asked her, my hands crossed on the desk before me as I picked at the bubblegum pink polish on my nails. "She can't just hate everything and everyone because she wants to,"

"See," Kate smiled softly as she approached the seat opposite mine at the conference table, her face replaced the sinister smiling photo of General Shepherd, "Her motivation, is sex,"

I spluttered, "What?"

"You heard me," She replied with a smirk on her lips, "Why not? It'll be fun for you, and it'll be easier to get your way,"

I looked at the file in front of me, the one without a picture simply because El Sin Nombre didn't exist as far as we knew, "Ma'am, respectfully, have you lost your mind?" my voice was unsteady as I spoke, yet all I could think about was infiltrating the cartel as someone who was motivated by sex and sex alone. Not power, not money, but sex. To be desired.

Laswell's laugh was the last thing I expected to hear as the blush crept across my skin at the mere thought of trotting around like some prostitute, "Maybe, but it's the best way to get you in. You'll be a Bottle Girl, and when it comes to it, you'll find your way to Sin Nombre when he's most vulnerable," she trailed off.

"So, when I'm on top of him, I'll do what exactly? Kill him like Amy did in Gone Girl?" I couldn't even start to believe this, it was absurd. Kate Laswell expected me to go in there scantily clad and for me to sleep my way to El Sin Nombre? Jesus Christ, I needed a drink.

Kate's hands met mine from across the table, "You'll be fine, and besides, who said Sin Nombre's a man?" she said with a wink.

Deep down, aside from our work relationship, I had always been close to Laswell. She was the only woman who really understood what it was like to be gay in the military, although I was Bisexual myself, she understood how daunting it can be. Hell, I'd come out to her when I was drunk in her arms one night by accidentally telling her I wanted to marry her. Of course, Kate being Kate, she was more than loyal to her wife. And, that's how I found out she was married, too.

"Kate, you're going to owe me for this," I sighed, having finally given up to the idea of negotiating a different path for my character, "When I come back, there better be an invitation to your house so your wife can make me lasagne,"

She patted my clenched fists, "Of course," she stood up, her hand reached for the door behind her, "Don't have too much fun," she winked, as though I'd suddenly become the cartel's personal bitch ready to be used and abused by all the men there. This was really going to fucking suck, I just knew it.

---

The mask over my face concealed the person from me, though I didn't need eyes to know El Sin Nombre's personal Sicaria was a woman, come on, it was in the name. Her perfume invaded my senses as I sat rigid in the chair, waiting for her to either kill me or grant me entry. And yet, all I could think about was how attractive her perfume was, how strong it was as the scent wrapped around me warmly.

"Do you speak Spanish?" She asked me, her voice rasped. God, even her voice was attractive, "Little bird?" She followed up with the arbitrary nickname she'd decided to give me. I'd only seen a slither of her lean body as I was forced into the room in the dress that clung a bit too tight to me, but it was enough to make me realise this was not going to be easy.

With a sigh of defeat, I shook my head, "No," I replied, "I don't."

The click-clack sound her tongue made as it flicked across her teeth struck my ears violently at first, but soothed my nerves the more she did it; she was disappointed to say the least, and so was I. "Such a shame," she cooed as she walked around, her voice trailed behind her like a ghost. And, if I was able to, I'd trail behind her too just for another breath of that sweet, sweet perfume she wore. "You're too beautiful to not speak more than one language," she practically purred before her hands placed onto my shoulders.

I craned my neck at the contact, my blind eyes stared up at her as my lips parted softly, "They say the best way to learn a language is through something... but I can't remember what it is," I admitted. It was something I'd heard before, something Alejandro had told me the first time I'd met him months prior, sure, he'd meant it as a flirty thing, and I remember our nights together vividly, but I can't recall the saying.

"The best way to learn a language is through fucking," She finished the phrase, "I'm sure plenty of my men would love to lay their hands on my little bird," she said, and something rustled as she dug her hand into her pockets. The blade clicked into place, and she cut the zip-ties from my wrist before she allowed me to remove the blind-fold. My Little Bird.

The dim light was a welcome for my sore eyes, and it didn't take much time to adjust before I could see her clearly, see the pink polish on her nails which matched mine perfectly, "You like my nails?" I asked her, just to ease the very real fact that she could end my life in a fraction of a second if she so wanted to. I pulled my fingers into a fist to show her, and she took my hand in hers.

The Sicaria had much better nails, hers looked almost professional in how they were done, "They're cute," she said, almost as though she was disappointed mine weren't as polished as hers. The edges were asymmetrical, having done them myself with no sleep was obviously the crux of that mystery, "I'll do yours later," she propositioned.

I drew my eyebrows together, "Are they that bad?" I joked back.

"It looks like a child did them," she purred as she held my hand for a bit too long, "Anyway, I'm keeping you here, you might be of some use to me," she smiled, "At least, more use than the person before you, hm?" she stepped to the side and tilted her head towards the corpse behind her. Such disregard for the dead, it was almost impressive.

What should have been scary, only managed to cause my smile to widen, "I like you," A pause finished my sentence, she hadn't even introduced herself to me, I had no clue what her name was, though she knew mine, that had been the one thing she'd requested when I first met her.

"Valeria," She said, her accent came through as she spoke her own name, and how badly I wanted to say it, to repeat her name as though it was the most prised gem I'd ever come across, as though it would bleed life back into me just to say it.

Instead, I nodded, "Nice to meet you," I said as I stood up, "I guess I'll see you around?" I asked in the most nonchalant way considering she executed three people in the room before she met me, as though I wasn't scared of her. But, let's get this straight, I was terrified of her. In a way that made me excited to make my next move, I was scared.

Valeria, who's name somehow caused flutters to erupt from my heart and into my stomach, smirked at me, "I'll see you around, pájarita," she cooed before she dismissed me into the dark hallway where her other counterpart was. He was the opposite of her. Whilst he looked scary, he also looked like a dad with his bald head, goatee and slight pouch of stomach fat. In fact, he looked like my dad, in a weird way.

"Where too now, hermano?" I asked him, my palms slick with sweat as I walked down the hallway and towards the elevator I had descended in prior to my meeting with El Sin Nombre's personal Sicaria. She was beautiful. God, was I getting a crush on a woman who could easily kill me if she found out I was actually here for her boss? Who the fuck knows.

He pressed the up button, "We're going to the balcony, where you'll serve our guests," he didn't even bother to turn and face me, "I take it you know how to serve champagne?" he asked.

I laughed, "I'm not as stupid as I look," I remarked, though it was in bad taste. I didn't look stupid, because I wasn't. Sure, some subjects I was less academic in, but I was world smart, and that's all that matters in this line of work. No one cares if you can do math, or balance chemical formulas, as long as you know how to get what you want, you'll be unstoppable.

And I planned on exactly that.

---

When I had served at least twenty guests, and when the tray of complimentary Champagne was finished, I decided to wander. Not my smartest idea, I'll give you that, but I was bored. Laswell wanted me to gain intelligence before Soap decided to join the party, and I intended to do just that. No matter what, the mission always came first. What's the worst that could happen, right?

I walked through the stairwell, my eyes trained on the grand piano beneath the spiralled staircase, and all I wanted to do was sit down and play it. Of course, I didn't know how to play piano, but at least I'd have fun playing random notes until one of the guards kicked me out, that would be worth it.

Instead, I carried on my wandering, and made my way deeper into the fortress the Cartel called home. Hell, I was not disappointed. It was so lavish, the sculptures and the food looked so good. If I wasn't trying to squeeze into this dress already, I'd stuff my face with all the food imaginable.

As I continued on my journey, I stumbled upon a supply cupboard full of... cleaning supplies. How very boring. Bleach, bleach, more bleach, a mop, some candles, and then I saw it. The bracelet on the floor looked oddly familiar. It wasn't mine, of course. But it was Valeria's. Wherever she was now, I'd give it to her. But I didn't know where she was, and the compound was far too massive for me to want to give it to her, so I just placed it on a shelf.

And, as I opened the door, someone on the outside opened it. I tumbled forwards, my body unsteady in the dangerously high heels, and then she caught me, and lead me further into the supply cupboard. Past the shelves and the mops, past the sink (that I didn't even notice) and finally into the darkness.

"Fancy seeing you here," I said.

"You can't be seen in here," she said at the same time, her body pressed against mine as mine was flush to the wall. Her eyes never met mine as she kept a close eye on the door.

I cocked my head to the side, "Why not?" I asked her, curious as to why I, a member of their staff, couldn't be seen in a supply cupboard. It's just full of cleaning products, not like I'm going to make a bomb or anything.

She laughed a deep chuckle, one that made my knees weak, "You don't get it," she said patronisingly, "El Sin Nombre doesn't like when his girls go for walks," she purred, still pressed into me. Her thigh was pressing into my heat, and I had to restrain myself because God, she smelled so good and she was driving me crazy being this close.

"Well, what are you doing here, then?" I asked.

She knitted her brows together, "I'm hiding," she lied.

"From who?" I replied, only now at the realisation that my arm was wrapped around her.

Valeria moved her leg, the thigh painfully rutted against my core, "From El Sin Nombre," she said.

"And, what if you're El Sin Nombre?" I joked. She was in no way, shape, or form El Sin Nombre. No one knew who he was, and he was most definitely a he going of the name, surely it would be pronounced differently if Sin Nombre was a female? But that's going off my shit knowledge of Spanish. "What am I supposed to do then?"

She smirked, and withdrew slightly so that she wouldn't crush me, "I'd tie you up and show you how merciless I can be," her voice husked as she spoke through lust clouded eyes, and I was a goner. I knew that much. A Sicaria, a professional hit-woman, gaining a liking to me was not something I wanted to tell Laswell, or Soap, or anyone else who was due to storm the compound at whatever time. In fact, if I could keep it a secret until I died, I would. "Let you know how it feels to be powerless,"

"Who said I don't want that?" I whispered back, too afraid to even say the words myself.

Valeria looked impressed, "Well, I guess I'll have to keep you guessing, because I can assure you, little bird, that I am not Sin Nombre," she purred into my ear before she pressed a tender kiss into my pulse. The one place that would give me away as being completely enamoured with her despite having only seen or known her for... two hours?

"I guess so," I smirked, and allowed her to pull herself away from me before she exited the room before me. There goes my chance of sleeping with one of the most deadly women on the planet. All because I blew it and decided to run my mouth.

As I walked out, defeated, a guard stormed towards me, his mask covered his facial expression, but it didn't stop him from looking pissed off at something. If I didn't know better, I'd turn around and run for it, but that would make a scene, and everyone would think I'd done something wrong then. Which, I had, but that's a surprise tool that'll help me later. Or, kill me. Either way, I'm not bothered.

He said my name as his hand encased my arm, "We need to move," he said, and my first immediate thought was, what the fuck?

"Alejandro?" I asked as I tried to crane my neck to see into his mask, but it was no use whatsoever, "What the fuck? Why are you here?" I asked him. He didn't respond, only continued to drag me towards the stairs where the Grand Piano had sat. As we approached it, all I could smell was gunpowder and the metallic twinge of blood. This had happened a lot quicker than I expected it too.

He dragged me up the stairs, where a trail of dead bodies laid discarded, and he passed me a handgun, "Shoot to kill," he said, and suddenly I regretted wearing a dress, and I cursed the fucker who allowed this to happen as quick as it had done. Right when I was getting what I wanted, it just had to be snatched away because of some mission.

"What the fuck," I said, because I had no clue what happened this quick. I didn't know anything, in fact, I'd been so out of the loop that I had no clue as to who or what our target was, and I'd only been in here a few minutes, but it was enough to frustrate me. "Where's Soap?" I asked.

But, the one thought on my mind was really, where is Valeria? I didn't want her to die, whilst she was a Sicaria, and she should not be admired, I didn't want her to meet her demise through a Scottish bloke with a stolen handgun, that would just be too anticlimactic. Something told me, that if she'd decided to die tonight, it would be all out. She wouldn't go peacefully, and neither would I.

"Fuckin' Nora!" The familiar Scottish accent bellowed as he approached the pair of us, his eyes dark from the focus and the lack of light, "I got the key-card," he muttered, and held up the blood-splattered card as though it was something he'd caught fishing

My eyes narrowed, "Can someone just tell me what we're doing?"

Soap looked at me a little too generously, his eyes wandered to my body, "You look..."

"Like a hooker, I know," I interrupted, "Just tell me what's happening!" I urged as I fired blindly whilst simultaneously praying that no bullet hit Valeria, wherever she was.

Soap checked how many bullets he had left in his Magazine, "We know where Sin Nombre is, and we're going to get him," he urged, my eyes never left his as he spoke in such an animated manner. All I could think about was Valeria, of her joke where she'd said she was Sin Nombre, and God how I hoped I was wrong about it.

---

When we arrived at the penthouse, it was oddly silent. There were no guards in the halls, no security cameras, nothing. We were truly alone as we wandered across the balcony and towards the double doors which separated us from a meeting. I could hear talking, nothing distinguishable, but there was definitely people talking in the background. The sounds were reminiscent of an argument, though I knew no one was arguing.

"Get the snake," Alejandro suggested as Soap approached the door before he crouched down and dug into the bag the Mexican had thrown towards him, "See who's in there, we need positive ID on El Sin Nombre," he said.

I laughed, "You don't know who he is, none of us do," I said, my tone cynical as I spoke. I was fed up of not being able to get my way in this job, I wanted to spend more time here, that's the whole point of me being here. I infiltrate, I'm a double agent, and I'm fucking good at it... for the most part.

"Thank you, captain obvious," Soap tutted as he observed the camera, "Valeria," he seethed, but my heart rate only sped up. Whilst he seemed pissed, I was nervous of all the possibilities from being in close proximity to her again. I wanted nothing more than for her to pepper my body with kisses, but it's immoral considering she was about to be our prisoner. "I'm going in," he said as he stood up and kicked the door wide open.

Valeria wasted no time in her escape, in fact, she moved so fast that if I'd have blinked, she'd have been gone. In itself, it was impressive. But, in reality, it pissed me off. I wanted her to hand herself across to us like some prised possession.

Instead, I carried on running after her, my eyes never left the back of her bob as she sprinted towards the roof. From there, who knew what would happen? She'd get to the roof, escape and be free. And I'd chase her down, I'd look for her in the faces of strangers as they pass by, I'd believe every glimpse of her ghost was her indeed her.

"Valeria!" I yelled between ragged pants as I pushed myself further than I believed was possible, "Just stop - damnit!" I called as I followed her onto the windy balcony. Only it wasn't windy, it was being watched by a helicopter. A United States Marines helicopter.

Soap and Alejandro ran out after me, nearly instantly, and Valeria sank down to her knees, her eyes on me with a pure look of fucking betrayal. "I thought we had something, little bird," she seethed with rage.

"I'm sorry, Valeria," I said, my hands tucked behind my back as I stood over her, "But I have other uses for you."

"Just wait until I get you alone," she said, my name spat at me by venom as she growled, "You'll see what uses you have," she maintained her eye contact as Soap placed cuffs on her, the objects tightened around her wrists as she remained on her knees before me, "You'll see how I treat traitors," she hissed.

Now, I strongly doubted I'd let her get that from me, but I'd be lying if I didn't say the prospect of her getting her way with me would be something I didn't want. Because I wanted Valeria, even if it meant she'd ruin me.

I wanted her

#call of duty #valeria #el sin nombre #mw2 smut #smut #i wrote this in my car whilst waiting for a milkshake #icewazowski writes

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justeeeen · 5 months

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My Life With the Walter Boys is the worst thing that exists. In this essay I will

I'm only two episodes into this show and I honestly barely made it. This show feels like if you gave an AI the entire screen play of The Summer I Turned Pretty and had it rewrite it 10 times worse. And I already didn't like The Summer I Turned Pretty very much.

This wish fulfilment rom com starts with our main girl's entire family being killed in a car crash and having to go from being the daughter of a famous fashion designer in NYC to living with like, 8 boys on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Respectfully, I'd rather kill myself.

When Cole launched himself out of the pool in slow motion I physically recoiled. I would be on team Alex if he wasn't single handedly fueling the cringe economy. Jackie is seemingly unaffected by the death of her entire family and is immediately befriended by the resident exposition bubby girl and gay best friend with very little effort. It's very odd to watch a love triangle story where the two sides of the love triangle look like there are ten years between them. Honestly at this point I'm just rooting for Alex because he looks age appropriate while Cole looks at least 28.

What The Summer I Turned Pretty had that My Life with the Walter Boys doesn't have is a Taylor Swift heavy soundtrack. And that's pretty much it. Besides that they're the exact same. Both follow a woman of color (who is half white to make them more easily digestible and conventional) who lives with two white boys who are both fighting for her affections. The younger one is sweet and funny and super in love with her, while the older one is impressively emotionally unavailable and mean, but he has an excuse cause he's traumatized, but like, in a sexy way. And everyone knows the older one is endgame cause he's angstier and angst is sexy.

I recently discovered that My Life with the Walter Boys is based on a book that was originally from Wattpad. Yeah, that makes sense.

#little bit of a rant #a bit of a ramblei #if you will #my life with the walter boys #the summer i turned pretty

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measuringbliss · 7 months

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Spider-Man Read-Through 036: Thanos - The Final Threat (AV Ann 7, MTIO Ann 2)

MASTERPOST

As promised last time, Thanos is here, ready to smash some heroes!

And the Avengers are ready to smash him back!

This batch thoroughly impressed me, I must say.

Adam Warlock is here, and he's determined to fight Thanos, the Mad Titan. He asks the Avengers to help.

He explains that Thanos fell in love with Death and killed a lot of people, including his own mother, which is how you know he's the real deal.

Suddenly, Spider-Man!

There you go.

Back to our regular scheduling!

Thanos has been vanquished before, but he's back, and pissed off since Death abandoned him. So he got all 6 cosmic stones and fused them into a giant one.

Oh wow, we're really speedrunning Infinity War, huh!

Thanos plans to get Death back by destroying every star in the universe, which is completely batshit but also, I kind of love it. Love truly knows no bounds.

While Warlock is catching up everybody on who did what, Pip the Troll (don't ask me who that is) arrives on Sanctuary II and is surprised by Thanos.

Our heroes depart, and each one of them has a moment to collect their thoughts and fears, and it's remarkably well-written.

I didn't expect to actually be invested, but it reminds of the last issue of the Dark Phoenix saga in how grandiose it feels.

Suddenly...!

It's really impressive, actually.

Thor and Iron Man are deployed, and IM surmises that he can take care of the smaller ships, given how powerful Thor is...

And he would be right. How cool!

This is also really cool!

And this immediately what follows. The action sequence is really good, each Avenger has time to shine and it's overall well paced.

Unfortunately for Warlock, it turns out Thanos left his cherished Pip dead just for him to find on the vessel.

Warlock and Mar-Vell go to Thanos's ship first, they're quickly beaten, but then...

Damn, it's really a good issue.

Iron Man shatters the big gem. Thanos is quite enraged and disappears.

I was asking myself the same question, but you know what, the middle panel is incredibly raw and I don't need justification for that.

What I figure is that it's some sort of reincarnation thing à la Dax from DS9.

The dead hero awakens in the Soul Gem, with Gamora and Pip! Aww.

This is such a nice ending, I really love it! I'm sorry for all the pics, but it really was a stellar issue.

In the following issue, Peter is called in his dreams by Avenger Moon-Dragon, who makes him watch Infinity War and Endgame in 4K Ultra HD before DVDs even existed.

Except the happy end isn't quite there yet.

I gladly objectify the waking man. Well, he's already an object, but I'm looking respectfully.

In space, some stars discuss how it's totally fate that Peter and Ben Grimm aka The Thing fight together to save the universe. Huh-huh.

Spidey decides that he's going to need help, and naturally comes to the Fantastic Four. There, he finds Ben who just so happens to have a space shuttle ready for take off. And off they go!

I like how depressed Peter is. We rarely see him so quiet. It helps to convey the gravity of the situation.

The two heroes aren't doing too bad, but they eventually get knocked out.

Ooooooooh! Oh :( Wasn't it enough to give him peace?

Good for you, Spidey.

However, he changes his minds and successfully frees the Avengers, which I like because it's more of a Spidey thing. I couldn't see him quite fighting Thanos head-on.

Ah, I see again some of the brilliance of the previous issue.

Spidey successfully frees Adam Warlock from the globe that contained him, and the latter hero quickly annihilates Thanos. His crew surrenders immediately.

Aww.

Damn was that a great double issue. I largely preferred the first one, but the second one was fun too, wow.

#comics #comic books #adam warlock #the avengers #gamora #iron man #thor #captain marvel #the scarlet witch #thanos #avengers infinity war #avengers endgame #spider-man #peter parker #space

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lunawolfcreepypasta · 3 months

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NEVER WATCH TADC BY YOURSELF!

(I know it's badly edited, don't judge me)

This is VERY dangerous! NEVER, EVER watch TADC unless you have someone with you! This is why!

It was late at night when it was past my bedtime. I couldn't sleep, so I wanted to do something to pass the time. I was scrolling through YouTube when I saw a video telling me to NEVER watch the pilot episode of TADC alone. Out of curiosity, I watched the video.

It sounded like a lot of nonsense telling me that something bad will happen to me. I thought it was completely nonsensical, so to defy the video, I watched TADC without anyone with me.

It was definitely a new experience. I only usually watch it when my brother is with me. When I watched it, it was definitely a bit off at the beginning. Caine's voice sounded a bit distorted and Bubble's teeth looked realistic. When the theme song played, only the words were said. There was no music in the background.

Instead of saying 'day after day,' it said 'death after death.' I brushed it off, thinking it was just something Gooseworx did as a joke. As I watched more of the pilot, it was becoming more sinister. When Zooble was taken apart by the gloinks, it definitely wasn't normal. She seemed to be 100% acrylic, as she had blood. When the gloinks took her apart, she was definitely dead.

Jax, Pomni, and Ragatha seemed to completely ignore this and they went to check on Kaufmo. The screen was a bit darker than usual and instead of X's on the abstracted character's door labels, they were black and white and there was a splatter of red.

When they went to Kaufmo's door, it seemed mostly normal, but Jax didn't pull out a key to unlock it, he had a cleaver. There's no way that would even fit in a keyhole. Jax didn't even unlock the door, he broke it down with the cleaver. Pomni and Ragatha entered the room, which definitely does NOT happen in the pilot.

I was starting to get creeped out now. I tried to shut it off, but it wouldn't work. Pomni and Ragatha looked around and Kaufmo wasn't abstracted, he was laying on the floor in a pool of blood, completely lifeless. He had a stab wound in his chest, one that could only be made with a cleaver.

Ragatha was stunned into silence, while Pomni looked like she was about to faint. "Who would do that to him?!" Ragatha exclaimed. "I never knew him, but that's absolutely horrible!" Pomni said.

Jax started laughing. All he did was pick up a bowling ball, then he looked at the lifeless Kaufmo. "Thanks for keeping an eye on it, Kaufy." He bolted after saying that, leaving Pomni and Ragatha alone.

He ran to Kinger and Gangle, who were both standing over the 'Zooble hole,' as Kinger calls it. He threw the bowling ball at Kinger, who instinctively grabbed Gangle, pulling her down with him. The bowling ball crushed Kinger, killing him. When Gangle's face hit the floor, she died on impact.

Jax jumped in the hole afterwards. He didn't kick down the bowling pins like he normally did, he just walked straight pass them. "Oh, Queen! I disposed of them!" he called out. The Gloinks picked Jax up and carried him to the Gloink Queen, who praised him.

"For Non-Gloinkinian mass, you're a great listener. You did exactly what I wanted." Jax respectfully lowered his head. Honestly, that's the most respectful thing he's EVER done.

For the rest of the video, Jax was staring at the screen. His eyes looked like cat eyes and his teeth looked realistic. When it ended, I saw something flash on the screen, but I couldn't see what it said, no matter how much I tried to pause it.

I turned my tablet off, completely traumatized. When I finally went to bed, I had several nightmares. In the morning when I got up for school, I felt different. My face felt weird. I brushed it off and I got dressed, but I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I decided to get a closer look at myself and I almost screamed. I was smiling involuntarily and my eyes looked like cat eyes, just like Jax did in the video. I was terrified. I tried to open my bedroom door to go to my mom for help, but it was jammed shut. Suddenly, I heard a voice outside of my window.

Join us... join us...

When I opened my curtains, I saw the voice actor of Jax, Michael Kovach. He had the same smile and cat-like eyes. I was absolutely terrified. I wanted to run, but I felt drawn to him. I approached the window, not knowing I would have no memory of anything in my life before that event.

-----------------------

God, why do I feel like this sucks? It feels so cliche. 💀

#creepypasta #tadc jax #tadc #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc kinger #death #tadc gangle #tadc gloink queen #tadc zooble #tadc caine #tadc bubble #tadc kaufmo #cringe

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ronance4everbrainrot · 2 years

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Stranger Things incorrect quote generator (feat. The Babysitters, California Crew and Russian Squad)

Pt 12

The Babysitters

Steve: I think we should kiss.

Nancy: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

(girlboss gaslight gatekeep✨💅✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.

Nancy: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win!

*later*

Robin: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they.

Steve: Yeah, probably.

(I hope she's looking respectfully 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Would you slap Steve-

Robin: Yes.

Nancy: I didn't even finish!

Robin: Sorry, continue.

Nancy: Would you slap Steve for 10 dollars?

Robin: I would do it for free.

Steve: Rude...

(We love their bond)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: *speaking Spanish*

Steve: I know, I know.

Nancy: You speak Spanish?

Steve: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Robin speaks.

(this just fits perfectly.. At least the speaking Spanish part)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??

Steve, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

(Robin in the back, having placed the banana in the car, laughing her ass off. Honestly this could be a tik tok from them)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

(I feel you)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, happily: Heeyy!!

Steve: Hey, someone's happy.

Eddie, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

(Eddieee be nice, she finally had her first kiss with Nancy, at least I think that's why she's so happy)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*

Steve: Rude.

Jonathan: That's fair.

Nancy: Not again.

Robin: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

(Keep it Robin! You'll have a sword! And then you can stab the person who stabbed you!)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Look at the buns on that guy!

Eddie: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*

Jonathan: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Argyle: I'm not going back to jail!

(funny haha)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Eddie and Argyle enter a dive bar*

Eddie: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink.

Argyle, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

(Poor Arygle, he just wanted to go diving)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: :)

Nancy: >:(

Robin: Turn that frown upside down!

Nancy: ):<

Robin: Not sure what I was expecting...

(A ">:)" perhaps? Or without the brows?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

(well you're being a good brother/friend and I love you for it. Idk about the rest tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

(Ask them back and see how they answer 🤷‍♀️ "idk, what are you into?")

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle, holding up their class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”.

Argyle, in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”?

(Wh... Wha-..)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: How would you like to live forever?

Nancy: I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.

(Eddie coming back as the devil or smth and trying to make deals 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: We need to open this locked door. Steve, give me your credit card.

Steve: Here.

Robin, pocketing it: Thanks. Nancy, break down the door.

(Robin "I'm not poor anymore because I got Steve's credit card" Buckley)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Hello friends!

The Squad:

Robin: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

(Um...)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve, at Eddie's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Steve, leaning over Eddie′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Eddie: Yeah, no shit.

(😱)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Did you hear that!? Steve just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!

Nancy: ...You just threatened to kill them in their sleep.

(but her lego AT-AT!?☹️ It's more valuable!)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Stay foxy.

Nancy: Die lonely.

(stay lonely 👍 die foxy 👌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Eddie without them noticing?

Steve: Hey, Eddie, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Eddie: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

Jonathan: ....

(...ok...)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Eddie: A doll.

Steve: A cinnamon roll.

Nancy: A sweetheart.

Robin:

Robin: ...stop it.

(she's trying to convince them that's she's a Russian spy)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my van?

Robin: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Steve, deer!"

Argyle: ...And what did Steve do?

Robin: ...They said "Yes, Honey?"

(They definitely call eachother pet names. Like if they were married. Love their friendship)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Argyle: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Robin: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Nancy: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Jonathan: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

(everything is magic)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Steve: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”

Jonathan, scoffing: Oh, please.

Steve, to Jonathan: Hey, how you doin’?

Jonathan:

Jonathan: *giggles and blushes*

(Stonathan ig)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: What the fuck is wrong with you??

Robin: What? No good morning?

Steve: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

(What the fuck is wrong with you! Yelling what the fuck is wrong with you at Robin, smh 😒😕😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, turning to Steve: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

(where are the lies?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.

(ok..)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Robin: Do not do that.

Jonathan: You won’t even notice!

Nancy, entering: Jonathan, you wanted to see me again?

Jonathan: Robin's single

Robin:

(If they were friends in S1 or smth)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Are you trying to seduce me?

Robin: Why, are you seducible?

Bonus: (from the generator)

Nancy: You’re an idiot.

Robin: That’s the charm.

Bonus: (from the generator)

Nancy: I feel like doing something stupid.

Robin: I’m stupid, do me.

(it's really is the charm, also your not stupid 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me.

Steve: But did I make you cry?

Robin: *cries on the spot*

Steve: ...Shit.

(From the Murray adopting Robin AU when Steve tries to apologize lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Here are two pictures. one of them is your room, and the other is the garbage dump.

Eddie: *points at a picture* That one is the dump.

Robin: tHEY'RE BOTH YOUR ROOM!

(well Damn, you don't have to yell)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: How do you connect with a fictional character?

Steve: What?

Argyle: What?

Jonathan: What?

Robin: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

(I'd glady see that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: What are you in the mood for?

Nancy: World domination.

Robin: That's a bit ambitious.

Nancy: You are my world.

Robin: Aww...

Nancy:

Robin:

Nancy:

Robin: OH.

(Oh)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: So, Nancy is late today. Anyone wanna bet why?

Eddie: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man.

Robin: I don't know about that...I think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank.

Jonathan: Take this more seriously! Nancy was clearly taken in their sleep!

Steve: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck.

Argyle: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interesting...?

*Nancy arrives*

Nancy: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank.

Robin, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

(love b99)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: Look guys, I need help.

Argyle: Love help?

Nancy: Financial help?

Jonathan: Emotional help?

Eddie: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Eddie*

Eddie: What?

(He needs help with apologize to Robin probably 😑)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Robin: I really care about your feelings!

Nancy: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Jonathan, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Eddie: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Steve: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

(Ah yes. Ronance <3)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Robin is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Steve: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Jonathan: Tackle them!

Eddie: Dump them.

Argyle: Kick them in the shin!

Robin: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

(They all high)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: We should normalize not loving family members.

Robin: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck uncle” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!

(Ye)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I’ve got a whole box of old positives at my house.

Nancy: You’re an American treasure.

(He really is 🙌✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: If any person here knows of any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Robin: Yes! I do. One of the partners is already married! They married me three years ago. And don’t let them deny it! I’ve got the marriage certificate to prove it!

*Eddie turns around to face them*

Robin: Oh... sorry. Wrong church.

(it's ok, their hair looks the same. I get it 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?

Eddie: No.

Steve: No.

Jonathan: Didn't think so.

(but they mean it in a nice way)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer.

Nancy: You're right, Eddie.. Violence can't be the answer.

Eddie: Correct, Nancy. Now, on to the next lesso-

Nancy: Violence is the question.

Nancy: And the answer is yes!

Eddie: Nancy, no!!

(Nancy, yes!!)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Robin: What’s up your ass this morning!

Argyle: *walks in* ...Hey.

Robin: Hmm… nevermind.

Jonathan: WAIT NO!

(Perfect. Jargyle✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: I love you.

Jonathan: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

*Argyle and Jonathan kiss passionately*

Robin, to Steve: You owe me 20 dollars.

(I love Jargyle 🙌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I love you.

Nancy, not paying attention: What was that?

Robin: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

(Nancy would be so confused)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

Jonathan: You are my reward.

*meanwhile*

Steve: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

Eddie: True, you can be really difficult at times.

(Steddie could never be the top one lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Steve: One... two... three.

Jonathan: ...

Steve: ...

Steve: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

(when they finally apologize...or try to..)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[California Crew]

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: I have a 1:30 appointment.

Jonathan: Which doctor?

Argyle: No, I want the regular doctor.

(I took me a minute to get that joke)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: I know you love them.

Will: I am not in love with Mike!

Jonathan, staring at Will: I never said who...

Will: *realizes*

Will: Shit. Well, anyways-

(he knew anyway)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Mike: Strong.

Jonathan: Weak.

Will: An idiot, is what your are.

(Sassy Will will be sassy)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: I can't believe you've done this.....

Will: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Mike, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

(I wish that's how the airport thing went 😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

Mike: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will cut you.

Argyle: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better.

Mike: ...

(I love that joke)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Mike: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Will: But you’re always acting stupid?

Mike: ...

Mike: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

(🥺holds gently🤲)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

Argyle: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

(Yea! Why did that person have to put a wall there 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?

Jonathan: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.

Argyle: Ohhhh-

Will: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

(2high4this)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: I have a new hoodie.

Will: Wrong.

Will: We have a new hoodie.

(it's probably blue or yellow or both)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Will is casually searching around the room*

Argyle: Hey Will, what’re you looking for?

Will: My will to live.

*Mike walks into the room*

Will: Oh, there it is.

(Naww...Omg wait!)

*Mike is casually searching around the room*

Argyle: Hey Mike, what’re you looking for?

Mike: My Will to live.

*Will walks into the room*

Mike: Oh, there it is.

(his Will to live 🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Argyle! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.

Argyle: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

(it's the best music ever)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

(It's Mike, my is Will's partner ❤️)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike, about Will: I think we should kiss.

Jonathan: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

(Jonathan being a protective brother❤️)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vecna: *transforms to look like Mike*

Will: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like him. First off, he's way taller. Secondly, HE DOES NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've told he's a constant 10.

(I just changed it up a bit....😁)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Made you all playlists!

Jonathan: Mike, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Jonathan: Will, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Jonathan: And Argyle has the ABBA Gold album.

(it fits, doesn't it?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

(Absolutely)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: *pulls back the curtain while Jonathan is showering*

Argyle: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

(This is normal)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer.

Will: Are you gay?

Mike: How am I supposed to give a straight answer to that?

(I just find the straight answer thing funny)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: *seductively takes off glasses*

Mike: Wow...

Will: *blushes* Haha... what?

Mike: You're really fucking blurry.

(it's giving Richie vibes (mostly because he has glasses).. Even tho I haven't seen IT lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

(you think?....sigh)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.

Jonathan, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f-

(Max gave her the idea, did she not?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: You look mentally ill.

El: I am. Let’s go.

(at first I wanted to say S1 like when they first met but now I'm thinking when they found her in S4)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

Mike: *raises hand*

Argyle: *puts their hand down*

(Argyle knows what you are 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Will, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

El, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Will: Because they have little hands

(🥺 this is adorable. I love the Byers)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: Do you cook?

Mike: I made a cake once.

El: Yeah, it was good.

Mike: Really?

El: Don’t make me lie twice, Mike.

(But El 😧 Friends don't lie 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: Yeah I'm LGBT.

Will: cuLt leader.

Will: God hates me personally.

Will: cowBoy hat.

Will: *sniffles* Trying my best.

(AND WE LOVE YOU FOR THAT ❤️✨😭😭❤️✨🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Will: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Will: Oh my god, you have Mike.

(even the kidnapper thought Byler was together)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: El just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

(yes El 😈 cause destruction 🙌✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: My stomach growled super loud in French.

El: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.

Argyle: Bonjour.

Mike: Le growl.

Will: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

(croissant 🥐🥖)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Russian Squad]

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Dimitri: *Locks Yuri in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.

Yuri: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

(He's got a point)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Joyce, you're my best friend.

Joyce: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Joyce: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

(I feel like this is true, but well now Hopper is back so she's not the only friends, but also damn)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: That shirt looks great, Dimitri.

Dimitri: Thanks.

Murray: But I bet it would look even better on Yuri's floor.

Yuri: Are you hitting on Dimitri... for me?

(He just got gay vibes from Dimitri and Yuri, idk)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Okay! Let’s play Kiss Marry Kill!

Joyce: First who would you kill?

*Dimitri points at Yuri*

*Murray points at Yuri*

*Hopper points at Yuri*

Yuri: *shrugs* I would kill me too.

(Fair point)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Is something burning?

Hopper, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Joyce: Hopper, the toaster is literally on fire.

(Jopper, my love 🙌✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Are we really going to let Dimitri keep Yuri?

Hopper: We kept Murray.

(👍)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Yuri, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

(I love this quote for some reason, it's so stupid)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Any idiot would know that.

Yuri: I knew that!

Joyce: See?

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Murray, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?

Murray: Yuri, Hopper wants you to get out of the house.

(I mean i hated him for what he did so he deserves that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: I wasn’t that drunk.

Hopper: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Joyce: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

(you are ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Dimitri, teaching Hopper to drive: Okay, you're driving and Joyce and Murray walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Hopper: Oh, definitely Murray. I could never hurt Joyce.

Dimitri, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

(He's been of the roads for so long, he needs to relearn how to drive, if that is a thing

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Yuri: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

Dimitri: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Murray: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

(I usually separate them, then I have one with frosting and one without..now I want oreos)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Yuri: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Murray: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

Dimitri: Fuck you.

(Yes, perfect 👌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Guys, Yuri is missing.

Hopper: Good.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: You look good in that hoodie.

Joyce: You know where else I'd look good?

Hopper, zero hesitation: My bed.

Joyce, at the same time: By you're side- wait, what?

(Hopper 😶🤨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Yuri: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Murray doesn't take me seriously enough.

Joyce: "Sometimes"?

Hopper: "Enough"?

Yuri:

Hopper: Change that to 'at all' and we'll talk.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Yuri: What does “take out” mean?

Hopper: Food.

Joyce: Dating.

Dimitri: Murder.

Murray: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

(I think we already had this one where Murray said the last line.. Idk if it were the same characters tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: How long do you think it'll take?

Yuri: I don’t know, three or four.

Joyce: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

Yuri: Yeah, maybe five.

Joyce: Five what?!

(isn't that literally the scene? Or did I remember it wrong? I mean my mind is very forgetful)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm at you location.

Hopper:

Murray: Vroom vroom, come out already.

(that's how they actually found/saved Hopper)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Dimitri: Yuri has no survival skills, their need to win has replaced them.

Joyce: That can't be true!

Dimitri: Watch this.

Dimitri: Hey Yuri, race you to the bottom of the stairs!

Yuri: *Throws themself out a window*

(I feel like he would actually do that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!

Joyce: *holds up a bowl*

Joyce: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is the best.

(I love her ✨😂🙌❤️✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Are you this rude to everyone?!

Yuri: Yup.

Yuri: Don't think you're special.

(he was so annoying at first, but then he was just weird, so I don't dislike him anymore)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Yuri: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Hopper: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.

Yuri: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?

Hopper: Oh, no, I do.

Yuri: Well, what is it?

Hopper: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

(well played, Hopper)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Yuri: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.

Yuri: I will not yield.

(Yuri! No! 😭)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Go big or go home!

Dimitri: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

Hopper: I'm going big!

(Well he's got home after that tho 👍)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: I hate you.

Yuri: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

(....ok..)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper, sweating: Joyce, there’s something I need to ask you-

Joyce: Finally! You’re proposing!

Hopper: How’d you know?

Joyce: Hopper, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Joyce: I even picked it up once.

(if we don't get a Jopper wedding in S5 I don't want it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hope you liked it!

If you want a specific group in the next one you can write it in the comments.

Lots of love ✨❤️😁✨

#long post #very long post #ronance #jargyle #byler #jopper #steddie #murray bauman #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #jonathan byers #argyle #stranger things #stranger things incorrect quotes #inccorect quotes #idk what else to tag

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diatonight · 4 months

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The trios and their similarities: Erwin and Armin - Aot Talk

If you just stumble on this post know that I'm just mostly writing for myself as I have lots of thoughts regarding aot. Whether you like my opinions or not you're free to interact, but do it respectfully (why did that sound just like Eren)

The other parts of "The Trios and their similarities" series: (upcoming)

Here I present my new episode of AoT talk. Today I'm gonna ramble about how two trios seem to reflect each other, being today's protagonists Erwin and Armin. This can be coincidences (although that's not a very Isayama's thing) or I'm on to something here. Either way this is not an deep analysis just random things that I noticed. By the way all this thought started here.

Both have a similar appearance: I can still remember when my sister was watching season 4 and asked me honestly if Armin had cut his hair to resemble Erwin. They are simply and obviously very similar in appearance. I swear if I didn't know I would think that they were related.

Both are great strategists: So none of them is an 11 in Intelligence but they are both 10 in strategist. Throughout the story, both show various times how they could predict, understand and come up with a plan even when the situation seems to be hopeless.

Both used their ability for speech and manipulation to have their way instead of force: This is mainly seen when Armin tries to capture Annie by using their friendship and Erwins's season three speech when confronting the Beast or even Erwin's whole plan in No Regrets manga.

Both sacrifice themselves on the same battle, each on one side of the wall: While Erwin was charging towards the Beast with all the rookies in a suicidal gamble, Armin was sacrificing himself so the colossal Titan could be defeated.

Both believed and were enthusiastic about something beyond the walls during childhood, being their dreams to confirm it: While Erwin was curious on whether were there humans outside the walls and later comfirm is dad's theory, Armin was curious about what other things could be found outside the wall, just like lava and the sea due to his grandpa's book (or dad's as it is only mentioned that his grandpa hid it).

Both had parents who were interested in what was outside the wall : Erwin's dad being a teacher end up noticing flaws in the history of how they had started to live inside the walls making him interest in the outside world. Despite not having a lot of information regarding Armin's parents, we know they care about the outside world enough to try to leave.

Both of their parents died by the hand of Djel Sannes from the First Interior Squad of the Military Police due to being to curious about the world outside the walls: While Djel is being torture by Hange and Levi he confesses killing at least four people. While Erwin's dad is directly shown to be one of them, the couple being Armin's parents isn't as obvious. However, due to Armin mentioning that they were going to go outside the walls and the other people mentioned by Djel were parents of other characters, I believe that is pretty solid that they were Armin's parents.

Both had that dream as their main motivation to enter the Survey Corps and fight: Although being a slave to a dream being a recurrent thing, both of them joined because they desire to finally confirm if what they were once told about the world outside the walls was true. However one can say that Erwin's situation is a bit more complex but that's for another post.

Despite all this it is still noticeable that they are also very different characters. But I also think that lots of their differences are due to different levels of maturity, as they are in very different ages and have different levels of experience. However, the more I thought I couldn't stop how they were similar in these little details.

#aot #aot final season #aot erwin #armin aot #aot thoughts #erwin smith #armin arlert #attack on titan #AoT Talk

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starkslove101 · 1 year

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CHAPTER 6: "God, you're hot"

* DISCLAIMER*

This chapter contains some adult content. Read at your own risk. MINORS DNI

2011.

Ransom.

"I need your help," Fury said. "I don't work for you anymore, Nick," I said while drinking my coffee. Somehow Nick found his way into my apartment. I was living a few blocks away from STARK industries. It used to be the old apartment where I lived with Jack decades ago.

Lucky for me I had no one over. "I know, but for this, I need your help" he sounded desperate. I straightened my back and sat my coffee mug down on the kitchen counter. "What do you need?" I sighed. "An old friend of yours resurfaced" I frowned. "Huh?" I frowned. All my friends or family were either dead or were killed.

"Just come with me Evans," Fury said. "I better be on time for work" I warned and went to put on some clothes. It was not too fancy. I was wearing jeans and a thin shirt. I had a brown leather jacket laying in my closet that had been falling out of it for a few days now. I took it as a hint and put it on.

When I picked it up I saw that it was one from when SHIELD was still the SSR. I smiled. Oh, how I missed it.

I walked out and decided to let my hair hang loose. "Ready?" I nodded and we both walked out. "Where are we going?" I asked. "Nice jacket" Nick ignored my question. "Thanks" I started to have an idea as to where he was taking me but I just decided to shut up and see.

After a while, I noticed we were going to one of shields' hangars. Everyone was running to set up the airplane. "Man, I am going to be late for work." Natacha behind me laughed. "Don't worry, you called in sick" I rolled my eyes. "I'm 64 years old Natacha I have never taken a day off" Natacha laughed. "Sure, boomer" I rolled my eyes.

I finally got on the plane "Will someone tell me where we're going?" I looked around at the people around me. They just ignored me. "Not even you, johnson?" I also just ignored me and walked off. "Your grandmother would be very disappointed!" I yelled as he didn't answer.

All I kept thinking was that Tony probably knew I was here and I was starting to get a hunch about where I was going. Even tho I told myself I wasn't. "You guys found him didn't you?" I looked at the guy sitting next to me. He looked left and right making sure no one would hear him. "Yes, ma'am" I smiled. "Here," he gave me a sweater a beanie, and a thick scarf. I didn't ask any questions after that.

I put everything On. Including heavy shoes. "Thank you eh.." I looked for a name tag. "Krasinski" I smiled again. "You're welcome" he nodded. They also offered me a SHIELD jacket but I respectfully declined. I stuck with the SSR jacket. Sometime later we touched down.

The cold air hit me in the face and sent a shiver down my spine. A bunch of big muscley guys surrounded me. I'd like to think it's because they're protecting me. It felt like it when Krasinski showed up next to me. "You know, you look a lot like your grandfather," I said. He also smiled and nodded again.

He wasn't a talker like his grandfather. Footsteps kept crackling in the snow leaving footprints behind. The big guys were now shivering. I just shook my head. We went into a cave. I had to crouch down. "Alright, is someone going to explain what we're doing here?" I turned around. Fury appeared. "We found him" "I figured as much but any chance you found my will to live too?" Everyone looked at me.

Krasinski smirked. "Agent Evans" Fury warned me. I raised my hands showing I wasn't going to say anything else. "Come take a look" I followed him. "Look" a human being covered in ice was laying underneath heat lamps. As I took a closer look. "Steve" I sighed. Touching his cold face.

Strange men were looking for a heartbeat. My brain had trouble taking it all in. "Is he-" Fury cut me off. "He's alive."

"Why am I here Fury" I felt like bawling my eyes out. I touched his forehead. "We're going to transport him we need you here for when or if he wakes up" I nodded. I was so happy to see him.

*2 days later*

Alarms were blaring. Red lights were flashing on and off. I sighed and put my coffee down. "I can never get some peace" It was all hands on deck right now. I fastened my pace to see what going on. When I ran into the main room. When I got there everything was broken. "God damn it Steve" I just kept walking at the same pace. Trying to figure out where they were running to.

Once I figured that out, I started running. I was the only one without any weapons. Not that I mind. I soon found myself standing in the middle of Times Square. He was surrounded by SHIELD agents. They pulled out their guns.

Panic rushed over me and I just decided to stand in between the agents and steve. "Woah, hey no need for guns!" I was standing there with my arms spread. "Lower your weapons" I yelled. As Fury gave the command, they lowered their guns. "What's happening?" my heart is beating fast. I just turned around. "Hi, Steve" Steve's eyes were bout t fall out of his head. Maybe this wasn't Fury's best move.

"Ransom?"

"Welcome home"

—-

We finally went back into a Shield base. As everything calmed down I managed to get steve into one of the offices here at shield. "H-how did you get here?" Steve was walking back and forth. I was just sitting back with my feet up on the table with my hands crossed over my stomach. "Howard sent me to the future, I got stuck, you know same old" I leaned my head back.

Steve's face contorted. "Huh?" I was amused by the confused look on his face. "You have a lot to catch up on" I sighed. I stood up and walked towards him. "I'm just very happy and surprised to see you" I opened my arms indicating that I wanted to hug him.

He hesitated at first but then he hugged me tightly. "I missed you too," he said as he let go. "Let me get you some regular clothes" I opened the door and walked to a room where they kept spare clothes.

He slowly followed me looking around like he was sneaking into a building. I laughed and shook my head. "Relax they aren't going to hurt you. I promise I wouldn't let that happen" He just nodded and relaxed a little bit.

I picked up a white shirt and held it in front of me. "Extra large should do it, right?" I looked up. Steve smiled and nodded. I started looking for pants and found some old blue jeans, hoping they were the right size. "There you go" I gave it to him and he went behind some lockers.

I sat down on some benches in the middle of the room. Almost immediately steve appeared again. The shirt I gave him was tight around him. I bit the inside of my cheek a feeling of melancholy and nostalgia washed over me. I pulled my knees up to my chest as Steve sat next to me.

"You look great," he said. He leaned a bit forward. His forearms were leaning against his thighs, his fingers crossed into each other. "Thanks, so do you for coming out of the ice" Steve chuckled. I looked at my watch. "Are you hungry Captain?" he looked me in the eyes. "Yes, Famished!" he stood up. I laughed. "We've come a long way from the '30s," I said. "Oh, I don't don't doubt that" he sighed. "What happened to times square?" I just shook my head. "It was like that when I got here" Steve laughed. We were walking through the hall.

People were looking at us. I don't blame them. I felt almost tiny next to him. We soon got to my car. He stopped walking. "What's wrong?" I turned around. His face answered it for me. "Audi e-Tron it's very comfortable," I said opening the door. "Get in!" Steve followed suit.

I drove off to my apartment. I was well aware that Fury was going to call me. "Now tell me how did you get her?" Steve asked. I sighed. "Back in 1947 Howard made a time machine and he sent me to the year 1999," I said. "I ended up in Bern Switzerland" Steve raised his eyebrows. "Then what happened?" Steve asked as I hit the brake to stop at a red light.

I instinctively grabbed my ear like was reliving that moment. "I tried to connect with Howard once I couldn't get a hold of him I ran" I pushed the gas pedal when the light turned green again. "I ran into Tony Stark" I looked sideways. "Who?" "Howards Son" Steve's eyebrows went up. "He got married?" "Yeah," I said biting my lip.

A few minutes later we arrived at my apartment. I parked my car and got out. Steve Followed me up as I opened the door. JARVIS greeted me. "Welcome home Ma'am" I smiled and threw my jacket on the sofa. "Make yourself at home," I said. Then Jarvis greeted him. "Welcome back sir" Steve looked around mesmerized.

—

1947.

Howard.

"What did you do to my wife?" I pushed buttons. A wave of panic rushed over me. Jack grabbed the collar of my shirt. It wrapped so tightly around my throat that I had trouble breathing. Peggy jumped between us. "Jack! Let him go" Jack let me go, but I toppled over and hit my head. "I am going to have your head for this!" Jack yelled as he walked out.

Everything went dark.

Hours later I woke up. My head was pounding. Memories of what happened came back flooding back to me. "Howard," Peggy said as she slid off her chair. Tears sprung from my eyes as I looked at the ceiling. "What have I done?"I just started sobbing. "Oh, darling" I fell into her arms.

"It wasn't my intention I don't know what went wrong" I sighed. "We'll figure it out," Peggy said shushing me. After a while, I was able to get up. I adjusted my clothes. As I looked into the mirror. "You didn't do this on purpose," Peggy said. I looked into the mirror. My face looked the same way I felt. A mess. "It looks like it" I simply said. "I deserve whatever is coming my way" Peggy gave me a sorry look. "I'm here for you all the way" she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Get back to the lab Howard, call whoever you need to call, and get your head back in the game" she ushered me. Then she turned around and walked out of the room. Her heels clicked on the floor. I was left alone in the room.

I looked in the mirror again, hitting it. It broke and fell into pieces. They were clattering against the sink.

—

2012.

Ransom

* The following text contains adult content read at your own risk*

I looked into the mirror. Water was streaming down my face as I just had washed it. The workout Steve and I did almost killed me. "This is the last time I go running with you" Steve laughed as he walked out of the shower.

"I'm sorry" he laughed. "Don't worry about it" I turned around Steve was standing there with a towel around his middle. Water was dripping from his chest. It started glistening from the sun shining on it.

The sight of him like that struck me. I didn't understand where this feeling was coming from as it wasn't the first time I saw him shirtless. There was just something about him today...

He walked past me. "The shower is free," he said. The door behind him fell closed. I sighed and went into the shower. 15 minutes later I got out and dried myself off and put on my clothes. As I pulled off the towel from my head steve walked in.

As I jumped up Steve apologized. "Sorry should've knocked" I just shook my head. "It's fine," I said. "It's not like I was naked" I laughed. Steve walked in and stood behind me fixing his hair. He was still walking around in his towel. "I'm sure it doesn't look bad. I blushed.

Steve walked out again. The decision I made then and there was one I'd probably regret or cherish for the rest of my life. I ran up behind him and grabbed his arm. "What's wro–" I kissed him. He pulled back. I felt instantly guilty the moment I locked eyes with him. His eyes darted all over my face as his hands traveled to my neck. He was softly placing them there. "I'm sorry" I sighed. He was towering over me. He didn't say anything, he just kissed me in response.

I wrapped my arms around his waist as his fingers traveled through my wet hair slightly tugging it, making me moan. A trail of clothes followed as we made our way to the bed. The only thing left was the towel he was wearing. I removed it.

I locked eyes with him again. "Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded. "Yes," we locked lips again. My body felt sweaty and hot every time he touched my body. Steve picked me up and put me down soft and swiftly on the bed. He hovered over me. His lips went to the side of my head, down to my neck.

My hand traveled to his head where I tangled my fingers in his hair—softly tugging on it. It made Steve moan, sending shivers down my spine. His kisses trailed down my chest and down to my stomach, to my inner thigh. My breath hitched as he got closer. I grabbed his hair again as his tongue moved slowly.

His hands grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him. After a while, he came up kissing me again. I took it as my chance to change positions, making me sit on top. Steve smiled. "God, you're hot" he whispered. I bowed down and kissed him again.

I could feel him against me. I took him in my hands giving him soft strokes as I positioned him. I lowered myself onto him. His hands went to my hips again helping me move...

* DISCLAIMER*

This chapter contains some adult content. Read at your own risk.

2011.

Ransom.

When I picked it up I saw that it was one from when SHIELD was still the SSR. I smiled. Oh, how I missed it.

Strange men were looking for a heartbeat. My brain had trouble taking it all in. "Is he-" Fury cut me off. "He's alive."

"Why am I here Fury" I felt like bawling my eyes out. I touched his forehead. "We're going to transport him we need you here for when or if he wakes up" I nodded. I was so happy to see him.

*2 days later*

"Ransom?"

"Welcome home"

—-

—

1947.

Howard.

Everything went dark.

I looked in the mirror again, hitting it. It broke and fell into pieces. They were clattering against the sink.

—

2012.

Ransom

* The following text contains adult content read at your own risk*

The sight of him like that struck me. I didn't understand where this feeling was coming from as it wasn't the first time I saw him shirtless. There was just something about him today...

I could feel him against me. I took him in my hands giving him soft strokes as I positioned him. I lowered myself onto him. His hands went to my hips again helping me move...

Next Chapter

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justasightseer · 1 year

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Just finished watching Seven Kings Must Die. My thoughts are a bit all over the place as I watched it over the course of 10 days but here are some of my thoughts/queries, in no particular order.

ALDHELM SHOULD BE BURIED IN MERCIA!I want the Mercian army and people to be able to celebrate and grieve him, and to be buried in the land that he loved so much!!! Also, it absolutely broke my heart to see him die, I LOVED HIM SO MUCH. Probably what pissed me off the most is that he didn't even get a quick or honourable death. Hanging is a slow and painful death and my sweet love didn't deserve that 😭. RIP my beloved, even though you gave your life for England, you will always be every breath a Mercian. 💜⚔️

"WHERE IS SIHTRIC's FAMILY???" I think the writers didn't want them killed in the attack because that would be too brutal BUT they'd already escaped the slaughter in Rumcofa so it would have been a bit too ridiculous to have them escape this as well. Thus, they cut them completely. Just my thoughts but I think this explains it completely.

Where are all the women in the show though? One of the strengths of TLK is its diverse, interesting and realistic female characters so it was really odd to not have any of our female faves around. I know that Eliza and Stephanie weren't available but it was very odd that we didn't even get a mention of Stiorra (who was pretty much a main character in S5) and we got one of Young Uhtred, who I'm glad is living his best life as a ✨scholar✨. Beocca would be proud (and Alfred skshjsajshh).

YOUNG RAGNAR IS IN VALHALLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care if they couldn't get the actor or it was a deliberate removal but my teddy bear Dane is IN VALHALLA ODINDAMMIT!!! Brida saw him in Valhalla when she was dying so he is in Valhalla. I will accept nothing else.

I have no interest in critically examining the movie at this time, for now it lives in my head and heart as the final installment of my favourite show which is perfect and flawless and amazing. However, the antagonists were really underwhelming in this, possibly because of the time crunch of a movie as opposed to a full series. Something I've always adored about TLK is the way the antagonists have never been villains (at least to me). I've always been able to understand their motives and empathize a little, even when I wasn't rooting for them. This is the first time in my memory that I skipped scenes whilst watching TLK reactions but I really couldn't being myself to listen to the bad guy in his scenes with the kings. Did not care about or for him in the slightest but he performed his role adequately, I guess.

No Alfred cameo like I'd hoped but tbh, I was too emotionally invested in the movie to care as much as I thought I would, which is a really good thing. Appreciated the cameo of his tomb though (the scene where Uhtred and Aethelstan fight in the Winchester Palace).

Is this Harry Gilby's first sex-implied scene? He's so young, I just wondered. Has nothing to do with anything, just a thought. Cool that it's on TLK, if it is.

As aggravating as Aethelstan was, I was quite hurt that his innocence was being taken advantage of, even though he was being more stupid than he really should have been. It's never been this bad in the House of Wessex that a leader has followed his heart (and other bits of his anatomy) with such blind fervour, but he also is the least emotionally-constipated so I guess it makes sense 🤷

Harry Gilby KILLED IT though. Boy can acttttttttt. Those puppy dog eyes nearly killed me lmaoo.

I was a MESS when I thought they'd killed Pyrlig, my heart almost gave out lmao. That being said, it's kind of disappointing that none of our faves died in that battle. I'm not complaining, but I lowkey am. I guess we didn't have time to grieve because it was a movie.

Alfweard AND Osbert were UNNECESSARILY HOT in this 😭😭. When I saw Alfweard with a decent haircut and a tiny bit of stubble, I was like okayyyyyyyyy. Looking very respectfully, but looking nonetheless 👀

I may or may not have been calling for Ingilmundr's castration during the final battle. Definitely cheered when Dane Spy Girl got hit, IMO she got off too lightly for what she did to my beloved Aldhelm.

"My most noble friend, Lord Aldhelm" This was so sweet 🥰😊😚

The scene where Sihtric and Finan meet Uhtred at Winchester and go up to hug him and SIHTRIC PUTS HIS FOREHEAD TO UHTRED'S gets me every single time. I'm going to miss these sweet men and their forehead touches so much 😭😭

I had a feeling Finan's wife was going to die because Arnas lowkey spoiled it, but I wasn't expecting the twist.

#the last kingdom #tlk #seven kings must die #skmd #ragnar #aldhelm #uhtred #stiorra #young uhtred #alfred #alfweard #ingilmundr #seven kings must die spoilers

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buckcluckhater · 7 months

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My improv bit based solely upon the prompt: "Trump in court for stealing all of the world's ice cream"

Ladies and gentleman of this court. I stand before you today, on trial for a most heinous accusation.

It is no secret that the world's vaults of frozen dairy have gone missing, and investigators suspect my hand.

Now I have been laid bare, asked to surrender my secrets before the good judge, and asked the simple question: Did I do it?

I want to tell you I'm innocent. I was given a script from my legal team, asked to deviate in no substantial way, present my words as professionally and respectfully as possible. I want to do that, I want to tell you I didn't do it.

But at the same time, none of you boys could've been responsible. Only a real man like myself could've done it. Only I was hard-core enough to break through every line of defense you had to protect your precious ice cream.

That's right, I did it, and you couldn't stop me. No protection in the universe could keep that frozen cream safe from me. Each and ever line of defense was like a kindergarten playset. Not only did I do it, I could do it again, and you would be powerless to stop me. Now I wield every flavor, I could combine vanilla with chocolate, chocolate with strawberry, I even bend the Superman flavor to my will.

Not only could I steal all of your ice cream, I could steal the very concept of ice cream from you. Once I claim every last drop, I could destroy every recipe, kill every man with knowledge of the dairy delight. I could destroy the very concept of ice cream, in your dictionarys there would only be a gap where it once sat, a hole in your memory of childish happiness that I hold total dominion of. You would be less, all because of me.

You feared the boogeyman as children, but you should've known to fear me. I could do more than erase ice cream from the history of mankind, I could erase all of you. Do you think prison could hold me? Nothing can, it would be self-preservation to execute me now.

As I sit upon my throne of frozen fun, I glance down at you mongrel hordes, horrified and lost without your one true source of elation in the world. This court is beneath me, universal conquest is but an evening away. I lied, you can’t kill me, I'm immortal. Hell could not hold me, and it is relieved to know it won't have to. I'm worse than the devil, I created him so that he could take care of things while I was busy. That infernal pit was inspired directly by the images of a world without ice cream, torn to molten pieces of failing order and broken hope, where no pleasant taste of chilled vanilla can save you from the flames.

So yeah I did steal all the ice cream, I'm guilty.

#shitpost #copypasta #improvisation #humor #meme #memes #long post #writing #trump #donald trump #ice cream #dry humor

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hebimoonlightwrites · 1 year

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Heya, could you do a yandere Itsuki x reader? Like the reader would notice Itsuki's obsessive and yandereish behavior, but the reader decides to ignore it because they keep telling themselves "It's probably Itsuki's first time in a relationship with someone", please?

Writer's corner: Heyy! Sure thing! Of course I totally could! I really hope you'll like it! I made a drabble, hope you're fine with it qwq (if not, let me know, so I can change it for you!♥). A Yandere Itsuki is.. very interesting, since he's practically described as emotionless.. haha, thank you for requesting, darl! Let me know if there's something you want me to fix or change! Enjoy~♥

mc's pronouns: GN! (THEY/THEM)

words: 1191

Warnings: YANDERE.. (Please, do not read if you're easily impressionable. Read at your risk and respectfully. I do not support violence, stalking or anything in this fic!!!)

~𝙼𝚎.. 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚣𝚢?! 𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍?!…~

I was so happy, yn..

You have no idea what kind of happiness I felt that day when I confessed to you.. when I talked to you about my feelings, my love for you, and you actually loved me back.. That day I hugged you the more I could to prove you that, even if I was said to be emotionless, actually I did know what love was.. Did I.. right? That was love.. pure, genuine love.. that was the most appreciated (and maybe even the most hated) emotion among all the human feelings.. And you were so happy between my arms..! You really loved me back! You told me you did love me back..! But.. Was it as much as I did..? Did you love me so much that you would have even killed someone for me..?! Did you love me so much that you killed for me just like I did for you...?!... That was what I wondered.. that was what my mind brought me to think about.. That was what my mind suggested me.. You didn't love me as much as I did..

I had to do something about it.. I had to prove you how much I loved you, how much I cared about you and about your smile.. you well-being... It was true, though, that I was very new to all these emotions, to all these trembles, these "butterflies in my stomach".. to this desire to own you only for myself.. only with me.. only for me.. forever and ever... I was new to this feeling you humans call "love".

"I love you, Itsuki..", you used to tell me each time you snuggled onto my chest while we watched some TV or I read some books. And I didn't even care if there were also Kei or Rokuta.. I hugged you back tightly, losing myself in your beautiful scent.. your shampoo, running my fingers through your soft hair.. I kissed your head.. I even used to pull you closer and to kiss you in a possessive way each time I saw someone else (even some strangers) staring at you for too much time.. These disgusting fools.. they had to understand that you were mine.. only mine.. that nobody else would have never touched you, even in the slightest!!.. You would have been mine.. you would have been the one to teach me how to love properly.. even if I felt like I was already loving you the perfect way possible and existing..!

One day I listened to one of your phone call, yn... you were speaking to one of your closest friends.. you looked confused while talking to that slut about me. I could hear you saying things like: "I don't understand.. he's behaving way too possessively.. he seems like obsessed with me..! I can't understand why.. maybe it's because ours is his first relationship?..".. Your voice sounded so adorably scared and confused.. you looked like one of those protagonists of the books I used to read!.. When they were so scared and even spoke to their friends about their own feelings, it meant that they were terribly in love.. and you proved me you were in love, even when you started crying, telling your disgusting friend that you were afraid of my behaviour, that my "possessive and obsessed" behaviour was the one which scared you the most!.. I couldn't help but stayed there, behind the kitchen's corner, listening to the echo of your tremblings and your agitated heart moving into your beautiful chest.. I sighed smiling, completely in love with you as I was.. You know, sometimes I wondered myself how you did fall for me.. because you did fall for me, right...??!.. By the way, my beloved yn, what your friend told me maybe pissed me off.. oh well, I say "maybe" because, as you know, I'm "emotionless".. I don't know how to feel emotions.. I'm apathic, rational.. "unhuman".. But the only thing I know is that what that slut said really made me feel like I could have set the whole world on fire.. like if I could have killed everyone else except for you.. like if I could have broken everything and returned to blank.. only and exclusively with you by my side, though..

"He looks weird for real.. What if he doesn't really love you but is only obsessed and crazy?.. Be careful with him, yn.."

How could that disgusting friend of yours dare to tell you those unreal things, those lies?! Me.. crazy?! Obsessed?!... Yn.. they don't know.. they cannot know me..They cannot know us and our sweet and adorable love. As you ended the call, I immediately walked over to you, my eyes burning for love.. my pale lips curved in a warm smile and my hand reach your chin only to allow me to hold you close to me while I was pressing my lips on yours. I had read and seen this kind of actions in romantical matters.. but I didn't know a kiss could have felt so damn good..! My whole body strangely trembled, as some shivers ran down my spine and my other hand reached your lower back. You looked surprised. You had just tried to dry your tears of fear and confusion.. you did it before I could kiss you. Your adorable and sparkling eyes got wider as I broke that sweet kiss. In the following minutes there were only me and you. I asked you who you were talking to and you didn't hesitate to answer my question.. How sweet..! You were so honest.. so pure.. so cute.. so lovely... You looked like you had decided to ignore what that fool of your friend had told you about me.. and I was glad..

...but I couldn't allow them having another chance to tell shit about me and my love for you..

----

"Breaking news: A young person has been found murdered on the floor of their small apartment, their hair completely stripped from their head and their whole body full of cuts, probably did by using a knife.. The police said that the whole body has been identified as (your friend's name) and that it has been found almost entirely except for their heart.. The murderer apparently has ripped it. It's a despair to all the friends and relatives of the victim.. This morning they all have discovered about it and one of the victim's closest friend is here with us.. yn."

I smirked softly while sitting on the sofa, holding a cup of coffee. I looked satisfied as a shiver ran through my back when I saw your tears on the TV.. Yn.. My mind turned to focus on the stinky smell of that disgusting heart of your friend, which I had burned before coming back home.

"I have to take a shower before my love comes here~", I said, standing up and reaching the bathroom, leaving behind my back the most beautiful smell.. roses (which I bought for you) and love... pure love I had learned to feel thanks to you and that I would have never forgotten to feel for you...

#paradox live #paralive #paradox live drabble #paralive drabble #paradox live 1nm8 #paralive 1nm8 #itsuki

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apocketfullofpoesis · 8 months

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I know I'm a load. I didn't have a long line of peaceful family members - like you see in the movies. I seem to carry that in my blood. And I try everyday with every fibre of my being so that no one can point it out, "you're their blood after all." but my traumas seem to never go away. I know i distance myself and my energy seems off. it's me. I'm their blood after all. As i accept my flaws, I also know it's not entirely me. I just wanna know. do you really care about me and love me or talking to me is just your convenience? And do you really consider me your friend? I don't get it sometimes. When I'm gone, I don't feel like I'm missed but when you're gone I feel empty. I don't have many options for myself. None of you are unaware of that. I would very much like to be alone forever but the transition isn't easy especially at this point of my life so i really don't have the option here to fuck up my whole life and leave. Because I'm not courageous enough. The last time I was that courageous was the most peaceful and unbothered phase of my life but it ended soon. And so I'm always hoping that I get left. I look forward to it. It feels like a fucking paradox. I wanna be here but I don't find here being here. Here is not constant. Here does not want me sometimes. Here would kill for me sometimes. Here is confusing. Here is scary. I step back when I want to shout because here is fucking shallow and I hear my voice back and here is manipulating so it makes me feel like I'm a piece of shit to say those terrible things. And then here stays with me. Like a lump in my bile. Here is now at my throat. Here is suffocating and i can't leave here because here is in the air as well. Here is too far. Here has me in its claws. Here is also keeping me alive. Here is driving me insane. And let me tell you as respectfully as I can, NONE OF YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND. YOU NEVER WILL. I FUCKING ENVY YOU. That is not a thing to be proud of. That is my tragedy. That is here. And even for feeling like that here makes me feel like I'm a terrible person.

unsent messages

#wrote this while listening to aye khuda #honestly saying #idk i just #fucking hate it when they complain about their fathers being rude l #BLUD AT LEAST YOU HAVE A FATHER #fuck off #for you page #writers on tumblr #explore page #for you #dark academia #light academia #literature #foryoupage #foryou

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mykinkyyandere · 2 years

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About TUA and dark content

AO3

I want to write a warning post because I'm sure some touchy people will try to blame me again and again and again. I posted a meta why I thought there was no romantic relationship between Five and Vanya. Of course, I said many times that we all have different opinions and those are my subjective opinions. If you're interested please read the comments as well. I'll add this to the end of my other post as a link.

This is actually not just a warning for Umbrella Academy, but a warning to all other misunderstandings. If someone sends me ignorant accusations and insults despite the all explanations and warnings I have written so far, I'll just send them the link of this warning and my other warnings. Or simply block them. I don't wanna tire my fingers anymore. I'm tired of repeating myself.

As a dark/yandere fiction writer, I have read, recommended, and continue to read fictions focused on dark romance that are not for everyone, including the step-sibling relationship. For dark content that are not for everyone, I left two links of my detailed explanations in my faq/warnings and I also wrote a general warning in there. There are always warnings on my fics.

As I mentioned at the beginning of my other post, real life and fictional life are different from each other. I never defend what I write and what I read in real life. Reading fiction about murder, torture and eating humans doesn't make you a murderer and a cannibal. It won't kill you to read fictions about death all the time. Constantly watching themed p*rn doesn't make you have sex with your "step-mom". Please note that dark fiction is the same thing.

Personally, there are dark contents such as cannibalism and torture that I absolutely hate and I never read. I haven't seen the tv series Hannibal, Fresh starring Sebastian Stan, Saw and many more movies and TV shows. I don't read fiction about these topics and it definitely makes me sick to my stomach. But I have never sent people hate, such as "how do you even love it, it's disgusting, you're disgusting, you're sick", which are sent to dark fiction writers often. No it's not disgusting, no it's not a disease. It's fiction, and what's disgusting to me might be great to someone else. This is called different people & different minds. Why would I attack someone because of a fictional universe? JUST BECAUSE I HATE? They ain't gonna eat you, my friends. Just scroll.

Now let's talk about the Umbrella Academy, which is the main subject of my warning. Just because I don't think Five and Vanya are romantically involved doesn't mean I can't write romantic fanfic between step-siblings. Just because I don't interpret Five and Vanya's situation as romantic doesn't mean that I say there shouldn't be a step-sibling relationship within the fictional universe. If you read my post carefully, I've already made that clear. And if you read my post properly, I mentioned them being step-sinlings and growing up together NOT as the ROOT reason, but as one of the POSSIBLE SIDE REASONS. "Step siblings, ughh noo!!!" I didn't say that. I know, just because of my subjective opinion, what I say is often ignored and twisted at every opportunity. I try to express myself by trying to keep the same things simple as if I'm telling a child. Seriously exhausting.

I DON'T hate the relationship between Vanya and Five. I'm NOT an anti-Vanya and Five. I'm NOT a Vanya and Five hater. I'm NOT an anti-shipper. I DIDN'T write a meta that I made up out of my ass just because I wanted Five only to myself and was jealous of Vanya. (The last one is incredibly ridiculous). Can you understand or should I lower my level a little more? I'm not jealous maybe, but some of you obviously are. Defending a fictional ship like you're defending your own relationship. I may respectfully not ship Five and Vanya for my own reasons, but there are a lot of characters I ship, including that most people hate. Such as Kylo and Rey.

Since I think that the relationship between them is in the form of sibling love, I have NATURALLY presented my reasons to support my theory. OBVIOUSLY. And I also expressed my discomfort when step-siblings are called directly romantic by the audience despite having a brotherly love for each other in TV series and movies. I want to mention this because they tend to misunderstand this A LOT.

—> "If your own brother disappeared, you'd leave the light on for years and make sandwiches for him. Being adoptive doesn't change that. It's normal for 7 step-siblings to act different and not feel equally close to each other. One sibling doesn't care that much, but the other one thinks about him all the time. It's not an excuse to romanticise their closeness. I think it's disrespectful to make a romantic sense of any intimacy just because they're step-siblings." <—

As you can see, I'm angry here. What I'm angry about is the constant imposition of romance on every relationships, and audiences wanting to constantly interpret the half-sibling relationship as romantic. Not just about TUA, but about all other series and movies. If they look at each other, they have a crush. If they take care of each other, they secretly love each other. If they bandage their wounds, they fell in love... As I said, we are free to think what we want and there are situations where I feel uncomfortable like everyone else and I have the right to talk about it.

Now that we've dealt with the important details, it's time to make my final speech. I write X reader insert fics. There are fictions that I want to include the reader in as the 8th Hargreeves sibling. After all the explanations I've made, don't throw shit please. I'm sure 99% I've already given the answer here or somewhere.

#kinkyyan casual

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