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#i don't now how to tag this so nobody gets triggered so please tell me if u need me to do this??
haunted-headset · 6 months
Note
Ok so hear me out
Wilbur and Y/n arguing.
Then y/n wanted to k!ll herself but..
Guess what Wilbur did...
He moved the knife away and kisses her...
💔 There’s a Reason London Puts Barriers on the Tube Line 💔
Summary: You & Wilbur have a massive argument & all of your su!c!dal thoughts came back, so you ran to Jubilee Line to do your deed. What you forgot is that Wilbur can track your phone.
A/N: Hello! Tysm for the ask! I changed the story up a bit so that the reader doesn't use a knife since knives kinda trigger me :/
word count: 796
proofread: nope
tags: @vibestillaxxx@joviepog@ax-y10@themonsterunderurmom @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0 @cathers-world@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@justalittlebitofchaos@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@taylors-version-from-the-vault@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@universe-friday@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza (let me know if u don't or do wanna be tagged!!)
warnings/cw: the reader has su!c!dal thoughts, two attempted su!c!des, mentions of an overdose, arguing/yelling, swearing
This was the worst argument you'd ever had with him in your three years of dating him, & it made your head hurt & your chest feel tight. You had attempted to kill yourself two days ago by overdosing on your anti-depressants.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" Wilbur shouted. "Are you fucking stupid, Y/N?! You could've seriously hurt yourself!"
"That's the point!" You shouted back. "That's why I did it! & I already told you I didn’t want to talk about it, yet you kept insisting!"
“That’s because I fucking care about you!” Wilbur yelled. His fists were balled & his eyes, like yours, were bloodshot.
"Well, did I ask for you to care about me?” you cried.
He let out a loud groan of anger & pinched the bridge of his nose. "God, I fucking hate you."
Your eyes widened in shock. He'd gotten angry at you before, of course, but he'd never said that he hated you before. "You don’t mean that," you murmured as more tears rolled down your damp cheeks.
"Right now, I do," he said icily. "More than anything in the world.”
You glared at him. "More than the I love yous?”
His eyes met yours & his expression softened slightly. “…You’re being unfair."
"How the hell am I being unfair?!" you exclaimed. "You're being the unfair & shitty one here! Instead of asking me if I'm alright, you just--you just get mad at me! & when I say I don't want to talk, you keep pressing & pressing & pressing!"
"It's not my fault nor my problem that you're a depressed bitch who doesn't do anything to try & improve their mental state!" he yelled.
With burning tears in your eyes, you started to tie your shoes. Wilbur sighed & said, "No, please don't leave, I-"
"Just shut up," you snapped before you walked out, slamming the door behind you. You started to walk through the rain to Jubilee Line, which would take about forty minutes. You stepped in a few puddles on your way, which drenched your shoes & legs, & you forgot to grab a hoodie, so your entire body was soaked in rainwater.
When you finally arrived, tears rolled down your cheeks & mixed with raindrops as you remembered the song that Wilbur had written a year or two ago. He was rambling on & on about how crappy the mental health was in London & how the city was doing nothing to help their citizens, & how he'd see people kill themselves on Jubilee Line & nobody would say anything or try to stop them, & instead of trying to help the people by improving their mental health services, the city just built barriers on the tube, & the barriers didn't really do anything. & you told him that he should write a song about that. Within an hour, he'd written a song about it, & for the majority of that hour, he would tell you how much he loved you & how creative you were.
You walked up to the barriers & saw that the next train was arriving in five minutes. You kicked with all of your might on the glass until the glass broke. You smiled sadly. The barriers, like Wilbur had said, were shit.
You took a deep breath & held back your tears. You took a step forward.
You were about to fall onto the tracks.
This was it.
It would finally work.
You heard a familiar voice scream your name from behind you.
& then somebody pulled you back & hugged you. It was a sobbing Wilbur.
"L-love, I don't ever want you to die, please...don't die..." he said between his sobs. "I-I'm sorry for yelling, I'm sorry for hurting you, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean a fucking word, I don't hate you, I never would, darling..."
You pressed your face into his chest & sobbed with him as you both murmured apologies to each other. He pulled you away from his chest only to pepper kisses all over your wet face.
"Please, don't go...I just need to feel your arms around me, mon amour, that's all I've ever wanted," he cried. "I don't want to lose you."
"I'm sorry," you whimpered. "I'm sorry for-"
He cut you off with a kiss. When he pulled away, he cupped your face & said, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Y/N. You're the one who's struggling & I didn't even think about that, & I was such a dickhead to you."
"So you don't hate me?" you said with a sniffle as he wiped your cheeks.
"I would never hate you," he whispered. "C'mon, let's go home. I think there's a lot that we need to talk about."
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Text
For my dear Bunny
Dark!Yandere William Afton/Steve Raglan x gn!Reader
Category: Twisted Letter - I suggest you read the informations for twisted letters first ->here<-
Dead dove do not eat - you'll get exactly what's in the tags!
Tags: Stalking, description of kidnapping, mention of murder, 18+!!!, mention of male masturbation, NSFW, William Afton is a warning himself.
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For my dear Bunny,
I don't even know where to start. Perhaps when you first entered my office? I get you were new to this town and needed a new job. You tried a few of the offers, but ended up inside my office because none of them were to your liking. The first time you entered my office I was secretly happy to see you, you were like fresh air in a stuffy place.
I can still remember how quiet, how shy you were, it was so cute! And when I stood up and you saw the size difference between us? Oh, you looked so adorable!!
When you told me how eager you were for a job but wanted a rather quiet one, I gave you just the right one. I loved seeing your eyes widen in joy and the smile on your face after it met your expectations.
Your first night went well, right? My daughter Vanessa told me how good you were at your job, she showed you around, gave you useful advices and showed you the Animatronics. But what she didn't tell you? In every corner of the place was a secret camera, which I could watch you through the computer in my office. And to be brutally honest with you here? I was planning to kill you. Yes that's right, I bet you saw the news about the missing nightguards here at Freddy's? I was the one responsible for it. My creations - the Animatronics killed them as I ordered them to.
But... after your first night I was beginning to really like you... the second night was also the night you encountered the Animatronics for the first time. At first I could see the fear in your eyes, the thought of getting killed by them. But I ordered them to just scare you a little bit, and you began to like them. And you know what? The Animatronics started to like you too. You are their friend now.
And now to your third night... at that night you were tired, so you thought a little 5 minute power nap would do the trick? Nobody would notice it since you were all alone in this haunted building...
But... I have seen it. You remember the little Freddy plushy on your desk, right? There was a small camera inside of it, I could see everything you did in the office. Your jumps whenever the power went out and you had to put it back on? Sweet.
I loved seeing you clean up the place after you were getting bored, throwing the trash out, cleaning the tables, or just simply swept the floor. You were a sight for sore eyes in that security uniform.
Please don't judge me but... after seeing you like this? I just had to jerk off right there. You moved so swiftly, I just lost control. It became my dirty little secret - watching you work while stroking my cock. You made me cum so hard every time...
Now to your fourth night. Did you like the short visit I gave you? Because I sure did. I can still see the fear in your eyes when you saw me standing there - inside the Springbonnie suit. You were so terrified, running back to the office and hiding under the desk. I loved it. Thought you would recognize my voice when I laughed at you, Bunny...
Today is your fifth night. I already prepared everything,
-making sure to lock all entrances and vents...
-to finally see the look on your face when I take off the yellow rabbit mask and reveal myself to you...
-the cloth with chloroform to get you unconcious...
Why am I letting you know what I want to do with you? So you can get a chance in trying your futile escape. I love seeing you run for your life.
You see... why I am writing this letter for you is... that you have triggered something inside me... something snapped... I don't know how to tell you, but all I know is that I want you. Did I become obsessed with you? Maybe I did. And you're about to find out.
I hope you will read this letter before Night 5 ends. Because if not it will be too late.
-- William Afton.
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my-lovely-writing · 2 months
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Obey Me! Lucifer with an abused teen MC.
Little notes: Haha, sorry that was a bit of a hiatus! I've been struggling with, well...life. You know how it is. But I'm back because I have fictional person brain rot. If you don't want to see anything besides my hero/villain stuff, feel free to blacklist the obey me tags.
Also, I'm kinda new to the obey me! fandom, so I'm sorry if the characters are a bit off. I won't be writing about some of them until I've learned more about them.
With that said, if you have any triggers, please check the tw tags before clicking below. This is about an MC who's been abused.
Lucifer
Lucifer found it a bit strange how quickly you took to him.
He makes you do your homework before class tomorrow? No complaints. He reminds you of bedtime (which you have because nobody's allowed to stay up later than Lucifer in the house of lamentation due to the fact that there may not be one left by morning)? "Okay, no problem! I can study TSL later." (Still trying to hang out with Levi, are you?) If anything, you seem grateful for his overbearing tendencies.
Really, with the chaos of his brothers, he's a little bit weirded out by how much trouble you don't cause. Maybe you're just scared of the demons?
Yeah, that has to be it. Works for him.
Except...it doesn't.
Not when he comes in screaming at Mammon for yet another failing grade and you start trembling, face pale and legs locked from your place on the couch, as if you don't quite know whether to freeze or run.
Dammit, he needs to take care of this lest the angels see you as a hostage and another celestial war is started. Besides, Diavolo doesn't want the human exchange student terrified, he's trying to foster relations.
So, for once, Lucifer forgoes stringing Mammon up from the ceiling, much to everyone's surprise (and your and his shared relief) and instead stalks off to his office to calm down with his favorite cursed records.
Later that night, when he's sending everyone to bed, he saves you for last. "MC, please follow me to my office."
His tone is gentle, reassuring even, but you know better than to mistake it for a request. Your mind races as you follow him on shaky legs. What have you done now? Idiot!
When you reach his office, Lucifer gestures for you to sit in the armchair across from his desk. It's surprisingly comfortable as you sink into it, but you can't help feeling like you're being swallowed up. Is he going to eat you?
As he sits in the chair across from you, it doesn't seem like it. Yet.
"How are you adjusting to life in The Devildom?"
You can't figure out his game here. His face reveals little, but you get the sense that he's asking a question without asking it.
"I'm adjusting," you say simply, expecting him to drop it at that. You're just a mortal, after all.
"I asked how you are adjusting," he counters. "It must be a big shift for you."
Really, it must be, he had realized earlier in the confines of his office—he and his brothers struggled enough after the fall, but you, in your human ways, had not even realized the existence of magic or god before coming here, and now you're surrounded by demons? Not to mention that you're still a child. Lucifer doesn't like to curse, usually finding such foul language beneath him, but he doesn't know what to call it other than a mindfuck.
The Avatar of Pride's efforts to push away the tinge of guilt that accompanied said realization have been in vain. He and his brothers haven't exactly been nice to you, have they?
He's long decided to help you adjust, if only to get rid of this stubborn and unbecoming guilt, but he can't exactly do that if you won't tell him what's wrong and you're just staring at him like a gaping fish, so he doubles down. "Are you experiencing any difficulties, MC?"
Fuck, fuck, fuck—if your mind was racing before, it's moving so quickly now that it's burning into ashes that, somehow, through the magic you've just learned exists, are blown away by the wind to spell those three words.
"MC?" Lucifer repeats your name, eyes widening in that half a millimeter of concern Diavolo talks about (referencing that one chat, I forget the actual measurement and I know his eyes technically widened in surprise, but give me a break) . Is this a human thing? No demons he knows of are this...weak. It's an active effort for him to restrain his judgement as he raises his eyebrows at you which, finally, seems to prompt a response.
"P-please, I'm sorry, I'll do better! I'm sorry for whatever I did. I w-won't do it again, don't eat me!"
Well...
Suddenly he feels like an ass for judging you. Just what ideas has Mammon been putting into your head? You look like you've seen your own ghost. And again, he reminds himself, you are a weak and defenseless human child in a world of demons.
"Nobody, not even Beel, is going to eat you. As our human exchange student, I won't allow you to die before the year closes," he says, lips pulling into a frown, studying you more intently now and watching the way you squirm as he looks at you, back ramrod straight against the armchair. What is going on with you? "Why do you believe that I would eat you?"
"I, uh..." Okay, so you don't think he'll eat you, but it's never good when an adult looks at you like that. "I don't know, you seemed upset earlier and now I've been called in here, so I thought I might have screwed up somehow—not, like, arson or anything, but I thought...I thought you'd find something."
"You thought I'd find something?" Lucifer stresses the word.
"...Yes?" you say with all the hesitance of someone on death row confessing to a crime. You swear you see Lucifer's eye twitch for just a split second.
Meanwhile, Lucifer's got it. At first, he didn't really pay all that much mind when Diavolo mentioned that you come from "troubled circumstances", mostly hoping that you wouldn't be just as troubled and therefore troubling yourself, but he's starting to see that you are—just in a different way than the others.
Of course, he doesn't outright mention or address the clues he's just put together—The Avatar of Pride can tell better than anyone that you're hiding your past as well as you can, which is, admittedly, not well, but he's been persuaded to humor you.
"I am not a sadist." Okay, he is, but it's better that you not know that. He continues, "I am not looking to find something to punish you for and, while there are some things I would kill you for such as threatening my brothers, Diavolo, or the Devildom, I have no intentions of causing you harm under regular circumstances. You may get an F on your math test without fearing me or any punishment I would give you, MC."
You blink as you process the words, a little bit of the fear edging out of your body. "I can?" Your voice is tentatively hopeful.
"You can," Lucifer reaffirms, shuffling his paperwork around, if only for your benefit, as tears begin to brim in your eyes. He allows you to save face. "Go to bed. You're welcome in my office if you ever need to talk."
"Thank you," you mumble to him as you hurry from the room. You don't know what this means, but you know you're not dead and that's good enough.
The next morning, Lucifer's brothers are woken up earlier and met with a stern talk about being kind to you, accompanied by the reminder that you are a child even by human standards who is adjusting to life in literal hell and the threat of them having to adjust to hell a second time over (a punishment—Lucifer's punishment is the second hell). "We're building relations with the exchange student for Diavolo," he justifies explains.
His brothers aren't terribly thrilled with the idea of cozying up to a human, but they agree because they remember how hard the fall was for them.
Asmodeus, being the most familiar and cool with humans due to his pact with Solomon and finding your fearful, doe-like nature adorable, offers to take you out clubbing—to which Lucifer reminds him of the child thing.
Fine, fine, no clubbing. He'll pamper you instead, you certainly have enough split ends to suggest you could use a haircut.
From then on out, a new rule is established where each of the brothers, Lucifer included, have to spend time with you every so often with one or more brothers spending time with you each day of the week.
Needless to say, you're confused by the sudden kindness but you soon don't mind it, finding yourself slowly warming up to them—and, much to the shock of your ruined self-esteem, they to you.
Lucifer is pleasantly surprised and secretly grateful to find that his brothers get into less trouble with you around and, eventually, even more pleasantly surprised to find that you seem almost normal around them. You no longer eat in silence at the dinner table, refuse to meet their eyes, or cower like a puppy used to getting kicked when they raise their voices at each other (everyone has learned not to raise their voice at you, even Satan).
It's not long before Lucifer is calling you his best behaved child sibling. He even goes so far as to have everyone retake the family photo with you in it.
Is there any way he can turn you into a demon? He'd like you to be his child sibling for forever, and humans die far too quickly. As far as Lucifer's concerned, Satan has something new to research.
And it's not as though you don't seem to have some level of darkness in you. Just the other day you heard screams coming from the lower levels of Lord Diavolo's castle and followed them in spite of your fear, kind heart wanting to aid whoever was suffering.
According to Barbatos, you didn't even flinch when you found him torturing your parents, pliers still gripped around one of your dad's bloody fingernails.
Hell, you even asked to join in! (How Barbatos responded to that, I'll let you all imagine lol)
Also, Lucifer will never admit it, but he's quite possibly never felt more pride than the time you, Satan, and Belphie pranked him with a whoopie cushion on his desk chair. Normally he would have beat his brothers with it, but he could tell from the less than ideal invisibility cloak over the object that you were involved and hid a smile from prying eyes as he sat on what felt like his throne despite the ensuing fart noises.
And that's how his family of seven became eight once again.
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silvermoon424 · 7 months
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that anon's being really shitty, and id just block them, honestly. tumblr now has a decent enough filtering system that 1) they can ask you to tag stuff (which they seemingly did not do), 2) they can filter out things (you can even out filter words from posts, not just tags, now, so they could for example filter out "pap smear" and have the post hidden even if it's not tagged), or 3) unfollow. i try and tag most things, even just mentions of them, if it's a common enough trigger (ex. "abuse tw" or "abuse m" for discussion or depiction, and then minor mentions, respectively) but anon cannot demand people know what their triggers are. especially if it's not super common. like, for awhile as a younger teenager, the image of the "mspa blob face" as someone's icon would really freak me out, as i had a stalker at the time who used it. it didn't mean i could storm up to any blog and yell at them via anon for not knowing about this very obscure, uncommon trigger of mine if it crossed my dash.
this isn't even taking into account that nobody "has" to tag stuff, even if asked. the only thing i think people should Always tag if possible is stuff like flashing lights. if someone asked me to tag, say, madohomu or something, it would be perfectly reasonable for me to say no for a variety of reasons: it's common on my blog, i don't tag ships (can't usually tell when somethings meant to be read romantic rather than platonic, tfw aro), i won't remember to, i just plain don't want to, etc. nobody is legally required to tag triggers. it's really nice when they do, don't get me wrong, but not being able or willing to tag xyz thing all the time with tws isn't a moral failing or a sign someone is a bad person.
Thanks, bestie. The anon messaged me again and I blocked them for both of our sakes. Like I said, I honestly feel bad for them because I think they're in a bad place and lashing out, but I don't appreciate being talked to in such an accusatory way.
Blanket announcement for everyone: if you want me to tag something, just let me know. Please don't send me a weird accusatory ask about how you were triggered by one of my posts and how it's my fault- a post which, by the way, which was about a traumatic experience I literally just endured and was venting about. I'm always happy to tag things because I tag religiously in general to keep my blog organized. I don't bite as long as you don't bite me first, I promise.
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Text
Hair Trigger
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Superfam, YJ98
Summary: A junior at Gotham University, Jason finds it difficult to conceal his worsening mental health from his family and his friend, Jon Lane Kent. Family secrets are revealed and boundaries are pushed as Jason and Laney struggle to navigate through school, their romantic feelings, and their trauma. Could the reintroduction of Laney Kent be more trouble than it's worth, or is it just what Jason needed to confront the demons of his past?
I will also do trigger warnings for chapters and if there is smut I have the chapter(s) tagged so you don't have to worry about nsfw in the fic if you're just here for the story itself.
Chapters: 2/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Jonathan Lane Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Conner Kent, Natalia Knight, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Cassie Sandsmark, Chris Kent, Bart Allen, Original Character(s)
Relationships: JayLaney, Clois, TimKon
Additional Tags: University AU, No Powers AU, Sharing A Bed, Romance, Angst
Chapter Two: Recap
Jason lay in bed until the late afternoon. He worried about how Bruce would react to the end of their conversation. He tidied up his apartment and allowed his phone to ring in the background until he could no longer tolerate the noise. "What?" Jason snapped as he answered his phone.
"Jason, you have no idea how worried everyone's been!" Dick yelled at him.
"How is it that I have to answer every single time one of you calls? I just want some time to myself—."
"Then say that, Jason! Jesus Christ! None of us know where you live, where you work, nothing! So, of course, we're all gonna panic when you hang up like that!" Dick chastised him.
"I get that, I do, but has it occurred to any of you that calling me four times a day every day to make sure I'm alive isn't helping me at all?" Jason asked. He heard Dick sigh on the other line.
"Why can't you just tell him this yourself? Why's it so hard for you to talk to him?" Dick asked.
"Because it's not his fault. It's nobody's fault but mine," Jason replied, "I just need a break. I'm tired."
"What are you tired of?" Dick asked the emotion rose in his voice.
Jason sat back on his bed and took a deep breath.
"I just want everyone to take a break from worrying about me all the time. I need a break from it... Aren't you tired, Dick?" Jason asked.
"Of course, I'm not. That's what families do. We worry about each other, which is the only way we can show that we love each other in this family," Dick whispered, "But if you need some time to breathe, I'll tell him that. We can give you that." Jason relaxed, and his shoulders dropped.
"Thanks," Jason whispered.
"But tell me one thing before I hang up... How was it hanging out with Laney after all these years?" Dick asked.
"It was fun... Like nothing changed," Jason replied. He caught himself smiling.
"Nothing?" Dick asked. Jason furrowed his brows.
"What?" Jason asked.
"Nevermind," Dick replied before hanging up. Jason went about the rest of his day, cleaning up and getting ready to go to the laundry room. Still, he wondered about all the cryptic messages Dick and Laney conveyed to him.
Jason decided to call Laney back on his way down to the laundry room, but he didn't exactly know what to say to him. "Ooh, he misses me," Laney teased.
"What did you mean last night?" Jason asked.
"I don't remember anything about last night," Laney answered without hesitation.
"Liar," Jason replied as he loaded the washing machine and put his quarters in. "Laney, when we were kids and got in trouble for sneaking into that movie, our dads told us we couldn't hang out anymore."
"It doesn't matter why anymore, Jason. We can hang out now," Laney answered sweetly, "That's all that matters, isn't it?"
"I'm starting to think that our parents told us two very different stories... Laney, please," Jason pleaded.
"I didn't know what I was talking about last night. I was just being my usual troublemaking self... I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I only got drunk because I didn't know what to say to you," Laney confessed, "I wasn't even sure if you would be anything like what I remember."
"Was I?" Jason asked.
"Yeah, I forgot how fun it was pissing you off. Except you're taller than me now, so instead of crying about it, you could just knock my head off," Laney laughed. Jason snickered.
Jason sat down on a bench while his clothes were in the wash. "Still an asshole," Jason laughed.
"Remember the day we met, and I made you cry?" Laney laughed.
"Yeah, you told me that veal was human meat," Jason replied. Laney hollered on the other line, still laughing at Jason. "I vividly remember throwing up immediately after you told me that."
"I'm sorry. That was terrible, but why did you believe me? Why would a restaurant serve human meat?" Laney took a deep breath.
Jason chuckled. "Okay, you have a point. Remember when I invited you to stay the night after that just so I could give you a wet willy while you were sleeping?" Jason laughed. "Isn't that how we ended up being friends?" Laney asked.
"No, we became friends after Christmas when—. No, it was New Year's," Jason messed with his hair.
"No, I'm pretty sure it was Christmas because you asked me why I was so mean to you all the time," Laney's voice softened, "You remember, don't you?" Jason didn't answer. Laney laughed uncomfortably. "I think your dad thought we were gonna end up killing each other before we made it to high school."
"I used to think about it before we were friends," Jason replied.
"Think about what?" Laney asked.
"Killing you," Jason answered casually. He got up and checked on his clothes during the awkward silence. Jason broke the silence with a laugh. "Lane?" Jason asked seriously.
"What?" Laney asked.
Jason kicked at nothing. "I haven't had fun in a really long time, but I had a lot of fun last night. Thanks for that," Jason mumbled, "And sorry for kicking you out earlier. It wasn't you—."
"Don't finish that sentence. Otherwise, I'm gonna think you're breaking up with me," Laney joked. He paused before changing his tone, "I know you, Jay. I knew you weren't okay when my dad gave me your number. I know you probably don't want me to come back today, but whenever you need somebody to just listen, I'm here."
Jason allowed the silence to flood in for a little while, and he found himself thinking about Laney's full weight on him as they held each other on the dancefloor that night. "Still there?" Laney asked.
"Mhm... Laney, you should come back later on today," Jason whispered. Laney made an affirmative noise.
"Ooh, should I wear my negligee this time?" Laney teased.
"Fuck off," Jason laughed, "What if I had terrible news?"
"Well, I bet you feel less terrible now. Do you think your dad will let us stay up past nine this time?"
"Bye, Lane," Jason rolled his eyes.
"Bye, Jay," Laney replied and hung up. Jason moved his laundry from the washer to a dryer, and he sat back down on the bench. A woman that lived on his floor came in and put her clothes in the washer.
"Having a yucky day again, sweetie?" she asked. Jason shook his head.
"I was, but I think I'll be okay now," Jason smiled.
The woman smiled and pulled two magazines out of her bag and handed one of them to Jason. She opened her magazine and held it up by Jason's face. "Have you ever thought about adding olive green to your wardrobe?" she asked. Jason chuckled.
"Are you telling me that I'm an autumn?" Jason asked. She nodded and looked back at the color scheme.
"I don't know about this orange on you, though... Or yellow..." She looked back and forth at him and the magazine.
"I hate to be weird, but how do you open up to an old friend when you haven't seen them for a long time?" Jason asked.
"That's a silly question. I have a better question for you. What is the risk of opening up to your friend?" she asked.
"I just don't want him to worry about me. I don't wanna feel weird about talking to him..." Jason trailed off.
"I think things might already be weird between the both of you. You seem like you're out of sorts today. I think if this person is really your friend, things won't be weird at all," she replied, "Do you still journal as we talked about?"
"I try to, but writing it down freaks me out. I just feel like I'm saying something dumb," Jason replied. They talked for a while until Jason's clothes finished drying, and he stayed to fold. After he finished folding, he said his goodbyes and made his way back to his apartment to make himself something to eat.
He felt a little sick to his stomach, being that he hadn't eaten all day. He made himself a sandwich and a cup of tea. He turned the tv on and allowed his mind to drift back to the day Jason and Laney got in trouble. He could only remember sneaking into the movie theater. Jason couldn't remember how they got caught or anything else from that day. That day seemed so important to him, and yet, he couldn't remember anything about it.
Jason got up, made himself some dinner, and soaked in the bath for a while. He closed his eyes and sank under the water, holding his breath and counting backward from one-hundred. By the time Jason got to zero, his head was clear. He pulled the plug and stood up slowly, grabbing his towel and drying his face.
Laney knocked on his door, and he wrapped the towel around his waist before going to answer. "You're early," Jason stated as he opened the door. Lane cleared his throat uncomfortably.
"What will the neighbors think?" Laney joked as he entered the apartment and closed the door behind him. Jason made his way back to his room to get dressed. "You went from being like four-foot-six to like six-foot-four. You gotta let me in on how you did that," Laney noted.
"Laboratory explosion!" Jason answered sarcastically from the other room. Laney put his bag on the floor and got comfortable on the couch.
"Some guys just have all the luck," Laney joked, "Listen, Jay... I'm gonna be straight with you. You know how our little brothers are friends?"
"Yeah..." Jason came out of his room in his pajamas and a t-shirt.
"The clumsy one... Uh, Tim, he told Conner that you haven't been home in months. He didn't say why, but he did say that everyone misses you," Laney admitted.
"Oh, well... I'm gonna tell you about that," Jason mumbled as he went straight to the kitchen. Laney kicked his shoes off and lay on the couch.
"If it makes it less awkward, I can tell you about something that I did that made my parents freak out," Laney replied.
"What did you do?" Jason asked. He smiled and turned around to look at Laney.
"That's just what my mom said," Laney laughed, "I got a tattoo. It says 'mom' in a heart on my back."
"No, you don't," Jason laughed.
"You're right, I got a belly button piercing as a gag," Laney replied.
"Got any other lies?" Jason asked.
"Ooh, one more... I didn't run away and try to go to your house after our parents said we couldn't hang out anymore," Laney replied. Jason's smile faded, and he turned back around to the fridge. "So, do you wanna tell me why you won't go home?"
"What?" Jason asked.
"Our brothers are friends. They talk," Laney replied. Jason shrugged.
"I had a rough time with a class last semester... It brought up a lot of bad memories, memories of things I thought I buried. Instead of telling Bruce that I was struggling, I kept it to myself," Jason mumbled. Laney leaned forward and made a noise to indicate that he was listening. "I figured once the semester was over, I'd be fine... But it was worse. We were gonna go on a summer trip, and I just wanted to stay home and be by myself... Get some sleep."
"What happened, Jason?" Laney asked. His voice was nearly unrecognizable to Jason.
Jason swallowed hard. "I couldn't sleep the whole time they were gone, and everyone came home early, asking how I was and what I was planning to do during the summer... And I snapped. I don't remember what happened in between, but I know that Bruce and I got into this huge fight. I don't remember what I said or what I did, but he checked me into the hospital. The day I was discharged was the last time we saw each other in person," Jason's voice broke, and he held his breath.
"Jason... Is that why you don't wanna go home?" Laney asked.
"I want to go home," Jason whimpered as tears streamed down his cheeks, "I just feel like I'm gonna implode every time I talk to him. I don't know why..." Jason couldn't talk through his tears anymore, and he felt a pair of arms wrap around him.
"It doesn't sound like anyone is holding that against you, buddy," Laney whispered. Jason turned around and held onto Laney.
"I can't go home," Jason wept. Laney let go and backed away.
"I used to think you were just messing with me, but you really don't remember a lot of things... Do you?" Laney asked. Jason wiped his face.
"What?" Jason asked. "What does that have to do with—?"
"It doesn't mean anything. I was just thinking out loud," Laney replied, "Besides, from what my brothers say, it sounds like your family misses you."
"It doesn't change what I did... Don't you ever wish you could go back in time and stop yourself before you do something stupid?" Jason asked.
"All the fucking time... But the thing is, we can't. Jason, he's your dad. I really don't think he cares about what you did or why you did it. I think he just wants you to come home," Laney suggested. Jason shook his head.
"It's not that easy. Every day, Lane... Bruce calls me every single day, two times a day in the least. Ever since I left home, I feel like there's so much pressure to go back and pretend that things are normal—."
"Jason, of course, you can't pretend things are normal. No one is asking you to pretend things are okay. Maybe they want to work on things with you," Laney replied, "And I get how you're feeling. I really do. I had a hard time telling my parents about my feelings... But once I did, we really got closer, and it was worth it." Jason sat on the couch and hugged his knees. Laney sat next to him on the sofa and turned the tv on.
Laney's phone rang, and he looked at Jason. "Mind if I get this?" Laney asked. Jason shook his head. "Hey," Laney answered, "Oh no, I'm not home right now... I will when I get home... Uh-huh... I said I wouldn't, Mom... I love you too, bye." Laney hung up.
Jason opened his mouth to speak, and Laney turned to look at him. "Lane... How come nothing's changed?"
"What do you mean?" Laney asked as he changed the channel.
"How is it still easy to talk to you?" Jason asked as he let go of his knees and planted his feet on the floor.
"It's because I get you," Laney replied calmly. He stretched out on the couch, throwing his legs over Jason's lap. "Also, you're not that different from how I remember you." Jason pushed Laney's legs off his lap and went straight to the kitchen.
"I can order some pizza," Jason offered.
"I already did, right before I left. It should be here any minute now," Laney replied.
As soon as the pizza deliverywoman came, Jason paid her and sat on the couch. "What have you been up to, Lane?" Jason asked.
"In the past eight years or—."
"Yeah, sure, Laney," Jason interrupted. Laney took a bite of pizza.
"Well, as you know, I was already on pretty thin ice with my parents when we were fourteen... So, they sent me away to go to school because they thought it'd keep me out of trouble. Fast forward like two years, they let me go back to regular school, and I'm pretty sure I went to my prom at some point... Oh, and I dated a friend of the family, which was kind of nice for a while," Laney replied.
"Oh? For how long?" Jason asked.
"Three years. We broke up two and a half years ago," Laney answered, "And what have you been up to? I know it hasn't been all bad."
"It wasn't. I was in a few plays in high school. I start working on campus pretty soon, and last year I got a xylophone... I don't remember why—."
"Do you still have it?" Laney asked. Jason nodded, and Laney gestured for Jason to go get it. Jason finished his slice of pizza and went to wash his hands. He went to his room and came out with a dark wooden xylophone.
"You can have it if you want—."
"No fucking way. Hold on," Laney replied, wiping his hands on a napkin and grabbed the mallets. "I had this roommate a few years ago that got a xylophone as a present from his parents because he said he was bored, and he was gonna throw it out, and well..." Laney played a tune on the xylophone.
"You play the xylophone?" Jason asked as he went back to eating. Laney nodded, smiling a devilish half-smile. For a while, Jason almost forgot they'd ever been apart.
As the night went on, Jason and Laney talked to each other about just about everything. Around midnight, Jason got up to turn the lights down, stopping as soon as he heard Laney mumble something. "Say what, Lane?" Jason asked.
"I didn't have any real friends until I met you. I mean, I've got some really great friends now, but you and me, we were partners in crime," Laney whispered. Jason smiled and nodded. "Did you really used to think about killing me?" Laney asked.
Jason grabbed some blankets from his closet and gave them to Laney. "Oh yeah," Jason laughed, "Remember when you put that rubber spider in my bed? I thought about smothering you with a pillow, but I wasn't sure I'd get away with it. Why? You never thought about it?"
"I never really got mad at you... Except for when you gave me a wet willy, that was disgusting, and you didn't have to spit on me after," Laney laughed, "I've never seen anyone that angry in my whole life."
"Oh, Lane, the couch is a pullout," Jason pointed out. Laney got up and looked at the couch.
"Oh, it is," Laney replied as he moved Jason's coffee table and pulled the couch bed out. "Turning in?"
Jason nodded. "Goodnight, Laney."
"Night," Laney replied.
Laney lay awake for a little while after Jason went to bed before sending a text to someone. By the time Jason woke up, Laney was gone.
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peach-bobatea · 7 months
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**(Trigger warning: SA mention(ed once))**
Idk how to start these kinds of posts, so I'm going to start off with my thoughts about the situation, because I'm at my breaking point.
First off, I'd like to say how fucking pissed I am to see people harassing and sending death threats to others for liking a character from Outlast, where pretty much *everyone is fucking horrible.* I'm assuming the people who do so are not used to fandoms like Outlast, but oh my god it's gone way too far. Why harass someone for liking a fictional character?
On that note, I'd like to discuss Coyle a little bit, concerning the people who have admitted to liking him openly getting harassed. I like him. I have ever since the closed beta came out. Most of us are aware that he's a horrible person, but so many of you think that we like him because of the things he's done, when no, that's not the case. We don't like him because he was a Klan member, we don't like him because he is a domestic abuser. Most of us like him because he's an attractive character, and he has an interesting story. People might just like him because he's their type. it doesn't have to go any deeper than that. Can't we like horrible characters anymore without being harassed?
Also, a lot of these people who seem to think that we like him because of the things he's done, seem to think that because we like him, it means it *must* align with our morals, when no, that's not how that works. I'm not entirely sure if these people are that stupid, or they just refuse to use their brains. I have seen someone call people who like Coyle racist over little to no evidence, it's just because they think that he's a disgusting character, it must mean that anyone who likes him is the same way. That's just stupid. Plain stupid.
Now, my personal thoughts about Coyle because I've been keeping them all bottled up.
As someone who's liked him ever since the closed beta, I can tell you that I fell in love with him *before* his lore was released. At the time, all I knew was that he SA'd people and was sadistic. When his lore *did* finally came out, I legitimately felt heartbroken. So I can tell you with complete certainty, that most people who *do* like him, don't like him because of the terrible things he's done, it's because we were just attracted to his character. And also, I've seen some people say that we should just stop being connected/loving him because of his backstory. I can tell you right now, that that's not how it fucking works. You can't just cut yourself off from a character immediately, especially if you're extremely connected to the said character.
And to the people saying that we "romanticize", "sexualize", and "glorify" Coyle (I'm using Coyle as another example, because that's pretty much all I see mentioned when people complain, besides the few people who complain about Eddie simps/stans), we don't do that by simply ignoring what he's done. We do realize he's bad, and we don't need to hyperfocus on those specific traits of his backstory or character. We also aren't saying anything he has done or does is a good thing that should be followed, we are simply ignoring those parts because they aren't really plot-important, nor do they really need attention.
Now.... Considering that the people have been harassing (indirectly or directly I don't care) others have liked and posted characters such as Nurse Sally and Val, I don't think their opinions are the most valid. I might be wrong, please correct me if I am. People who have attachments to/are attracted to a horrible character aren't immediately horrible themselves. I can promise you, most people who like horrible, disgusting characters aren't like them at all.
Now about the Proshipper bs, I'm not going to talk about that, because I have little knowledge about it. About Dead Dove fics on the other hand, nobody is forcing you to read those fics. It's completely *your* fault for not reading the tags in advance, it's not the writers' or other consumers' fault. Dead Dove literally means that there are going to be dark subjects in the fanfic, don't complain once you read it and see dark subjects like the tag had told you beforehand.
Coyle himself, is a terrible, *terrible* man. But that doesn't mean we have to focus on him being horrible *all* the time. There are plenty of characters who are almost exactly the same, or are worse. You can't control or police who other people can love vs who they can't, especially not in the outlast fandom, where most of the characters are horrible in their own right. You may not be into certain characters, but that doesn't mean you can harass and send death threats to others who do.
(I apologize if this wasn't as coherent as I hoped :'))
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letsstartariot2002 · 5 months
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Into post this is pinned!
Hey guys! My name is Salem but please, unless we actually talk, call me Riot! My pronouns are(in order of preference): they/he/it/void/voids/voidself/entity/entity's! Please use all my pronouns not just one or two sets. If you don't know how to use my neos in a sentence here's an example. "Void is annoyed leave Void alone today" "That's entitys phone please don't touch it". My bestest bitch is @shatteredhope123 so if you see me insulting them or typing in all caps at them IT'S ALL JOKES, WE'VE KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR LIKE 6-7 YEARS. We also know eachother in real life. I'm transgender ftm, Polyamarous, Gay, Demisexual and Demiromantic but I'm HAPPILY TAKEN AND NOT LOOKING FOR ANYMORE PARTNERS. My partners are Sam(long distance), Cody(long distance), Berat(close distance), Carlo(Headspace alter), and Duff(headspace alter). I have DID, ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety disorder, separation anxiety,social anxiety, and I suspect I may have some sort of anger disorder, so please use tone indicators when talking to me. If I don't answer you when you dm me, it means I'm socially drained or I just don't want to talk, so please respect that. I'm a furry, my fursona right now is a Pot dragon(closed species by Wikk Elam on Facebook, dm him if interested in owning one), and a grey Greek demigod cat named Skyler. I'm quite chill and laid back, until you piss me off that is. My hyperfixations right now are Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Subnautica, God Of War, FNAF, Wings Of Fire, the backrooms/liminal spaces, and weed(not doing it, the different strains and different effects, basically learning about it). If you couldn't tell, I am in fact a stoner. I'm 21 years old and I'm choas. I like to watch memes, or stupid shit, play games, and call my friends or boyfriends(mainly Berat and Sam, but separately). I have many many ocs so feel free to ask me about my oc lore, I so badly want to lore dump but nobody will listen to me yap about a fictional grey cat I made way back in grade 7/8.
Here are my triggers and things I'm not comfy with so please don't talk about these to me or tag me in posts related to these:
-Anything to do with someone dating someone much much older(had someone try to pull that shit with me recently)
-Abusive parents(unless ur my bestie then vent all you want, okay? Or oc lore, oc lore is fine as it's fake)
-Abusive romantic relationships, even if it's fictional. I've been in to many of these to fucking count
-Obsessive behaviors(had to deal with this recently, please just don't I can't even if it's fictional)
-Anything that has to do with Native legends(the W, flesh pedestrians, I'm native and highly believe in them so please don't glorify these things)
-Zoophila or pedophila(U WILL BE BLOCKED AND CALLED THE FUCK OUT)
-petty furry drama. Fucking sick of ppl claiming colors and animals. Grow up.
-Metallica(the band, trauma reasons)
-do not mention these names to me as I knew ppl with these names and they gave me trauma: Aiden, Justin, Annah, Sam, Hayley, Makayla,Karlee,Scott, Collette, Leonard. If I see any of these names for my own sake I will either unfollow you or block you. I know it's just a name but you guys don't get how heightened emotions get with ADHD.
Here are my current interests so feel free to dm me and ask me about these:
-fnaf
-subnautica
-Disney dreamlight valley
-minecraft
-wings of fire
-Eragon
-weed in general
-bendy and the ink machine
-Venom
-Spyro the dragon
-Ratchet and Clank
-animal jam for both pc and mobile
-my ocs
Feel free to tag me in things related to my likes or something you'd think I'd like! I love knowing ppl thought of me! I'm still learning how Tumblr works so I'll try to be more active to learn how it works. If I don't credit art please remind me to as sometimes I get way too excited to post art I get. I have a job so please be understanding that if I dm you, it means I value you. I'm VERY tired after work and have to constantly fight sleep all fucking day. I'm not very mentally stable from being exhausted so please be gentle on me. But yeah! Below are me and my boyfriend Berat! The dragon is the pot dragon, his name is Bear and he's HEAVILY BASED OFF MY BF BERAT SO PLEASE DONT TAKE INSPIRATION FROM HIM WHATSOEVER. DO NOT STEAL HIM EITHER. Art of Bear is by MilkyManta on discord. If you see someone other than me using him, TELL ME ASAP. same with Skyler.
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This be skyler. if you see someone using them, TELL ME ASAP.
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This be Bear, if you see someone using him, TELL ME ASAP. Species is by Wikk Elam on Facebook, they are a CLOSED species. You MUST tell Wikk if you are interested in owning one, you also must be 18+. Wikk will provide you the link to the official discord server.
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angeart · 3 months
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ask game 12 &13!
yayy more questions! okay i'll start with 13 because it's simpler:
13.Any segment of your work that made you cry while writing it? (because it moved you deeply)
so. i cry easily. but i don't tend to cry while writing, i think? i don't have the greatest memory, so i can't be sure. i remember one time i cried while writing hmtb, but it wasn't because i was moved deeply jcnbjk (it was actually a mellow scene and i just. unexpectedly triggered an unpleasant memory, oops.)
in a way, i think it's easier to get emotional while working on RPs, actually. i might've cried at those in the past, mmh.
now, if you asked me when did i get anxious while writing. that's a whole another thing. i do deal with a lot of heavy emotions in writing, and, yeah. anyway, the answer is yesterday. (hmtb grian is doing perfectly well wdym-) (i had to stop writing after 8 sentences and take a break everything's fine-)
12.Funniest comment you've ever gotten in a piece of work?
this is a fun one! i don't think i have a favourite, i'm not the best with putting things on a scale and deciding that's the most this or that. add my bad memory into the mix, and about a year of writing a multichapter fic, and- well. but! i dug through and made a small collection of comments that amuse me! (there were many more, but i'm trying not to swarm you completely.)
i cannot tell you how much i appreciate and value the comments i get. i read every single one, and they matter a lot! they help me immensely and i am insanely grateful for them. <33
anyway, the collection of comments that make me giggle is under the line!
♥ please, consider this a love letter to all the commenters. ♥
Chocolate_Cake_Enthusiast on Chapter 3 of Elegy: ANGE UOU ARE THE SINGULAR SOURCE OF MY ANGST AND DEPRESSION (…) POOR GRIAN HE BETTER BE ALRIGHT OTHERWISE I WILL CHUCK A TENNIS BALL AT MY TOE
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ghostpi on Chapter 7 of hmtb: TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND.
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Eucalypta on Chapter 18 of hmtb: I forgot this had a ship tag so I was reading all previous chapters like: "what deep soulmates they are! Wait … Thats a bit gay. Well sometimes platonic love goes very dee- No thats definitely gay… What were the tags again?"
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Tiand on Chapter 21 of hmtb: So- uh- Where can I send my therapy bill?
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wimrow on Chapter 26 of hmtb: WOOOOO I DONT FEWL LIKE SOBBING WITJ THIS CHAPTER!!!!!! (this will absolutely change later on won’t it)
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genderfluid_bitch on Chapter 29: *does a little jig* THE BABIES ARE HURTING AGAIN
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Amabsis on Chapter 30 of hmtb: “Grian, are you okay?” NOBODY IS OKAY IMPULSESV!!!
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Chat on Chapter 31 of hmtb: THATS A BRILLIANT WAY TO END A CHAPTER BUT OH MY FUCKERY ARE YOU CRUEL FOR IT.
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peskytimes on Chapter 39 of hmtb: everytime i read this fic my mental state gets worse <33 /pos
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Alcea_42 on Chapter 42 of hmtb: so sometimes 42 doesn't solve everything-
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Holly_Loves_Reading on Chapter 46 of hmtb: Oh my god they’re so cute! Not even a little bit healthy, but so cute!
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Pidgey05 on Chapter 47 of hmtb: Omg 200k words of pain and now finnally some fluff T^T it was so beautiful thank you author, for this gift 🤣
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SongbirdQuela on Chapter 48 of hmtb: Everything’s going so well! Oh jee wiz I hope nothing goes incredibly wrong, boy would that be a rollercoaster, oh golly I can’t wait to see absolutely none of the characters doing anything self destructive!
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Heartpaw on Chapter 48 of hmtb: “Did you two have a romp?” Says you. Your the one not wearing you own pants. Are you sure YOU didn’t have a romp
--
also have a kiss collection of you guys going insane <33
The_Pesky_Crow on Chapter 28 of hmtb: 12 Chapters from now, in a land far far away, the Grain kisses the Scar
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Linkito on Chapter 41 of hmtb: I absolutely cannot believe that I binged this FORTY ONE chapter fic of A HUNDRED AND SIXTY THOUSAND WORDS and these idiots haven't kissed. Unbelievable. You're taking slow burn to a whole new level bless you and also I hate you LMAO
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Bones_exe on Chapter 44 of hmtb: I'm going to be a crinkly old man by the time these two smooch huh?
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Chocolate_Cake_Enthusiast on Chapter 44 of hmtb: JUST KISS ALREADY. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. PLEASE JUST KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Xanadu:Wynter on Chapter 45 of hmtb: PLEASE JUST ONE KISS
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Bioluminescence on Chapter 45 of hmtb: I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KISS I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH AND THEN THEY DIDN'T this is honestly so predictable of you though smh
--
and some bonus screenshot stuff <3 (first two from elegy, the rest is hmtb)
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(in the one below you can see a beautiful duality of comments /pos)
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i hope that was fun. i had fun putting this together <3
love you guys!!
----- questions from >>this ask game<<
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genderkoolaid · 2 years
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hi it's physical issues/disability question anon again
so i was wondering if u knew any sorta... pain-reducing tactics? cause some days, if i stand in place for longer than like 2 or 3 minutes my legs and back start to hurt really bad. (i was at the store today with my mom even and i wanted to cry bc my ankles, legs, and back all hurt really bad and i couldn't sit down anywhere) its not all the time but when it does happen it sucks
im not physically disabled, my mom says the pain is bc i never run around/do sports so im lazy, and im only 14 so i guess there's not really a reason for me to be feeling it other than that. but regardless of the reason it still hurts and i was kinda hoping that bc you ARE disabled you might know a thing or two about making life suck less in that department? google's not helpful it's just bringing up, like, "here's what it might mean if you feel X" articles with a bunch of long words i don't know.
thanks in advance and sorry if this is a weird question, have a nice day
Okay first of all, this ask totally triggered my "protective older sibling" response, so anon uhh consider yourself adopted now.
So, before I get to my advice for managing pain, I just want to cover what your mom said. I was actually a similar age when my chronic pain started (a bit younger, I think), and I actually was told something very similar from my then-therapist. I was told that I probably wasn’t getting enough exercise, and that was the reason my legs hurt. Which, uh. Wasn’t the reason. At all. In fact, while I’m not a doctor, I don’t even think that’s how chronic pain works. Older people can get pain from not getting enough exercise, but unless you’ve completely stopped walking altogether? You should not be dealing with chronic pain as a 14 year old. It took me a long time to learn this, but you shouldn’t be feeling any chronic pain. The reason why people complain so much about aches and pains as they age is because when you are young, you are supposed to not feel any pain! Just, like, none! I spent a long ass time thinking “maybe I’m not even disabled, I’m not in that much pain,” when the amount of pain I should have been in was 0. Again, I am not a doctor, but I sincerely doubt that “not running around enough” is the cause of your pain (especially if, like me, you are doing phys ed and/or walking to or from school, in which… that is exercise.)
Additionally, while I can’t tell you how to identify, chronic pain is one of the biggest reasons behind physical disability. You can totally refer to yourself as physically disabled, because there is something physically happening to you which is causing you to suffer and be unable to do things (stand in place, for example). Even if it doesn’t happen all the time, it’s still a disability which impacts your life. Abled children do not have chronic pain, even only on some days. I’d recommend looking into things like fibromyalgia (one of the things I have), juvenile arthritis (what my friend has), and specifically people’s experiences just to see how you relate. It doesn’t mean you for sure have any one disorder, but it could be helpful – you can try checking out tags like #cripplepunk, #spoonie, #actuallydisabled, and #chronically ill. If you can convince your mother to let you see a doctor for the pain, I would. It took me a few years to get my parents to do it and a few more to get diagnosed, and it was largely because of my insistence that something was wrong that I got diagnosed at all. Self-advocacy is a huge skill that disabled people need to develop to be heard and get the help we need, and unfortunately when you are young that can involve having to advocate for yourself to doctors and parents (which, btw, you are totally allowed to be mad about. It took me years to realize I deserved to be pissed off that nobody listened to me).
Now, onto your actual question lmao. Here are some ways I manage my own chronic pain, but if anyone else has ideas please feel free to add them!
Pain medication. Honestly, OTC (over the counter, i.e ibuprofen, tylenol/paracetamol) pain meds are kind of hit or miss for me, but it’s still worth taking them to see how you react to them. If they work, good! You have something that helps! And if they don’t, you can bring that up to your doctors to help them get a better understanding of what’s going on.
Heating pads. I practically carry a heating pad around the house with me, I find them heat to be very helpful with my pain. You can buy them most drug stores or online, but you can also make one at home (my friend taught me to make one by filling a sock with pinto beans and heating it in the microwave. Although I have 0 idea how safe that technically is, but it worked p well for me).
Stretching. I don’t mean this in a “yoga will fix all your issues” way, but doing some stretches could help with your pain. Specifically try looking up stretches for the elderly, because those are generally designed for people with chronic pain and mobility issues. Stiff joints really do not help with chronic pain, so stretching + heating pads can be really helpful for a lot of people.
Weed. Now, you are 14 so I’m not just gonna tell you to go smoke some weed, but a LOT of chronically ill people use weed to treat their pain, including myself, so I feel like it’d be kind of stupid not to mention it as a possibility. Honestly one of the only things that actually takes away my pain temporarily is this CBD cream called Relef, although I’m not sure how easily you could get that or something like it (especially if you don’t live in a place where it’s legal). But I felt I should still put it out there as something which can help with chronic pain, if for no other reason than you may still have pain when you are older and can more easily access THC/CBD products.
Sitting down. For real, just stop standing. There’s a post I’ve seen talking about how if you have issues with standing for periods of time, you can literally just… sit! You may get weird looks in public, but if you need to, sit down, even just straight up on the floor of the store. Ask for a chair if you can, or find somewhere to rest for a little, especially if you’ve been in pain for a while. Or at least lean against something to take the weight off at least one of your legs, if you can’t sit. I’ve been in situations in which I was forced to stand in one place for a while, because my abled family didn’t want to leave an event, and it was absolutely fucking hellish, so I really feel your pain with that – even resting for a little bit can be helpful to make it through until you can sit down for real.
Mobility aids. Again, I’m not sure how easy you could access or use one being a minor with a possibly unaccepting parent, but getting a cane (and later a wheelchair) has been a massive help for me. You can buy canes online and at drug/convenience stores, including ones that fold up. There are also walkers which can also serve as a portable chair. A lot of people worry that they aren’t “disabled enough” to use a mobility aid, and that’s bullshit. If you think it might help, and you have the chance to use one, use it. Plus, you can put sick designs on your mobility aids, which can be really fun to play with. If you live in a place that gets icy there are also things you can put on the bottoms of canes which prevent them from slipping on ice.
Ultimately, I just hope that you put yourself first and don’t let any adults make you feel like your issues aren’t serious or real. Being young and realizing you might have a disability can be scary enough, and when you have people older than you insisting it’s “just X,” or that you are overreacting, it can feel really embarrassing to think of yourself as disabled or keep trying to get help. But you deserve to be listened to, you deserve help, even if it was “just not getting enough exercise”. I spent far too much of my childhood feeling ashamed of being in pain, desperate for someone to listen to me, and I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that if I can help it. If you have any other questions or even just want to vent, please feel free to shoot me another ask.
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orphisthedragon · 2 years
Text
Something that will never be not funny to me is that when a character or a ship is extremely popular some fans are acting like they are hated by everyone and that nobody likes it except themself. Also I'm using ao3 fanfics as a mean of popularity and if you don't like that shhhhhhhhhh.
Example no. 1: Tom Holland's Version of Peter Parker /Spiderman
Andrew Garfield's version has 2117 works currently if you exclude MCU and NWH crossovers and Tobey Maguire version has 975 works again exluding MCU and NWH crossover... Now let's see how many works on ao3 MCU Peter Parker has when you exclude the crossover with the other two.... Oh? It's 41155? That's over 10 times the over two have combined. But how could that be, everyone hates him? 🤔 Well, sunshine, idk how to tell you that but your poor most hated version is somehow the most popular.
Like please be reasonable and think. If he was that hated he wouldn't have the most famfics in an archive about him.
Example no. 2: Steddie (Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson)
Now, I haven't been in this fandom for long so you can comment "typical new fan" in the comments I guess.
Also this will maybe trigger some Steddie fans even though I ship if myself, but some steddie shippers remind me of a chihuahua. Not because they are small, because I will show you soon they are not when it comes to fic numbers, but they just attack everything and everyone that ships something different or not steddie. They act like everyone not shipping them is homophobic and that everyone is against them.
I don't even know if I should mention the numbers because it isn't a huge secret that the steddie tag over took the harringrove shipping tag on ao3. I mean some people really worked for it. If you count in the fics that are just standholders for "just a fic idea, will soon write something :)" or small sentences or in general nearly every fic being the same, which I didn't think was possible since I normally love reading similar plots but this time I couldn't tell which fic was which, when it got updated since they were nearly identical.
Anyways, Steddie shippers don't have to act like they are the unpopular ship in the fandom when they are the most popular Stranger Things ship on ao3 currently with 8931 fics. Like pls Eddie and this ship has only been here for a few months, overtook a ship that has been there for 5 years and you all act like you are the uncool and the oppressed ones. Do you have a victim complex or something? Because you literaly can't be the most popular fic and the most hated at the same time. (also small tip, don't attack everyone, who doesn't share your opinion on ships. Maybe people will like you more :) )
So yeah, fans of the popular things acting oppressed is never not funny. It's okay to like popular things, nobody is out there to get you. It's okay to like something everybody else likes and you don't have to act like you have a niche interest.
Pls don't "cancel" me lmao
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pennycutenice · 1 year
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Transness, weird signs, pain and becoming a great actor because of it
To me thinking about the following thing no longer triggers emotional reactions, but is probably triggering for some, so be warned and look at the tags please.
I just remembered a weird sign of me being trans going back to puberty ten years ago. I was obsessed with chemical castration. Like, I wanted to be chemically castrated so bad I envied sex criminals that forcefully got the drugs. I tried to find stuff I could get my hands on regularly for many years because having erections was so awful. It frustrated me and made me angry. And since this topic is so taboo I could not talk to anyone about it. So I was just in distress regularly for years until my general bleak outlook on life killed any healthy biological function down there for the most part lol.
Today I am angry at the world. Had I been taught what transness (or autism) is at any point in my life so much pain could have been prevented. Like, I am an obvious case. I wanted girl toys and was mostly friends with girls until puberty and literally wished to wake up as a girl and read gender bending stories und layed awake at night angry about my awful boy body. But nobody noticed my distress. To be fair, I hid it better and better over time. If physical pain patients learn to manage abhorrent pain without looking out of the ordinary after some time that's probably possible for emotional pain aswell.
After getting antidepressants and hormones I was genuinely shocked to realize that I could smile honestly that much. Because I am very good at faking a good mood when I feel like I need to to circumvent social punishment. Only about three times in my adult life was my mental health bad enough for me to be able to fake a great mood.
I'm a kinda good actor because of this. I realized young how hiding my emotional state trained my acting capabilities. I won competitions for being able to believably switch between emotions. I went from a very expressive kid in colorful clothing to a numb pessimistic suicidal depressive adult wearing grey every day over seven years because I was weird and wrong and got bullied for it and had no idea what was going on. It was awful.
Now I know I wasn't wrong. I was trans. I was neurodivergent. But since I never actually knew what that meant I just suffered. So god fucking damn it, I want the kids these days to know. Minimize the pain by telling them about how different people can be and how completely okay it is to be this way. You are good. Being like you is fine. You are on your very own spectrum of awesome, kiddos. Don't you ever forget!!!
Anyway now I'm on hormone replacement therapy and chemically castrated by it lmao.
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horizon-verizon · 1 year
Note
Please learn how the tagging system works. Nobody wants to see your anti Sansa/Aemond takes in their tags. That's what anti tags are for. I'm tired of Targ stans pitching fits about other fans not tagging correctly (they do) while you guys freely tag your hate and then complain when fans object to this.
How about this: both sides both put anti tags and do not put anti tags sometimes (because that is the actual truth of it, since I don't think every single Targ anti or Targ pro tags their stuff as you say "correctly"). Or that when people argue their arguments against Rhaenyra/Dany/Arya etc's characters and morals, they sometimes do not put "anti-" blah, blah there.
Which one of us are right is about how people can tag, anon? Rhetorical question. The answer is the both of us. Sometimes you have people on both sides not use anti tags and continue to not to despite people like you telling them to. And we can't forget that whatever "sides" there are, people disagree passionately and see the other side as the "troublesome" or "bad" one. Both together which results in more and more complaints until it seems to each side that one side is not doing what the other tells them to do as if it were a group symptom of one side
In the past, I have said that I do not put "anti" in front of "Sansa" posts writing against her because I do not actually despise Sansa with every fiber in my being as the words "anti" implies (like I do Otto, Alicent, Aemond, Aegon II) BUT it is mainly because everything about Sansa, etc. that I say is backed up by the actual text (which I give) and the context (which I explain) and the definition of bullying/war prize, blood purity, etc.
Feels disingenuous to then put "anti-Sansa" or whatever just to make people feel comfortable when people could just skim the post and go on their merry way like I have. I also have never, not once, complained about other Rhaenyra/Dany/etc haters NOT putting in "anti" tags. And I already explained why here.
I also chose not to even filter that stuff out, because I actually want to know how these people think from time to time, but that is just me.
I honestly am not sure why exactly this bothers people so much other than they and you are angry that you get to see posts talking and arguing in ways and about things you don't like or passionately disagree with. But if you don't like a thing, you have the choice to either read it or not to read it. It is not as if I am publishing graphic pictures or NOT trying to put trigger warnings and content warnings in my tags. You, know, things that are actually serious and could harm users' psyches if there were no tags.
Therefore I know how it works now. I see it as pretty much dumb, though. (Except for the idea of trigger warnings and content warnings for actually serious things.)
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chaosthatsmellsgreen · 2 months
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Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender thoughts, part 5/5
And finally, about Aang. The need for a trigger warning is nuts; it's about a certain interpretation of a plot point and the warning is repeated before the paragraph where I talk about it.
Also, if you actually read this whole thing, thanks! I just had so many thoughts about this adaptation and I needed to get them all out. A few months ago I did a Supernatural rewatch and I did a meta on the last episode and the general storytelling of S1-5, and I thought that was long, oh man. I was incorrect. That one actually fit into a single post! If you read this and have comments please feel free to talk to me, I've been scrolling through the #natla tag on tumblr for two days trying to see how everyone else reacted. There is also probably like fifteen other bulletpoints I could make but I've started this at like noon and it's 1 am and this is already a five parter text post which tbh nobody is going to read because I know I wouldn't! ADHD brain be like "hey, write this!" but if I see a even a ling single part meta post it just goes "too many words, bye." Potentially expect further relatrf thoughts and/or a lot of reblogs in the near future.
Aang: idk about Aang. he's got good moments and weak moments, i don't love his arc so far. i think Aang is a bit of a debated character in the original, but i personally liked his 3 season arc. now i've been a little worried about what they're going to do with it when they were talking about making some changes to it? and after seeing season 1, i feel like i was right to be worried. so in general i think Aang's "arc" is really weak in this. he's basically just going back and forth between "well i don't wanna be the avatar" and "well i've got to stand up as the avatar" and he just sort of goes through this in every episode without making any progress. i also really hate that this season went so hard on the whole "The Avatar's burden is a lonely one" thing, because while that's relevant, i think it works much better in the original where Aang (and the audience) gets a lot of time to build up a connection with the rest of the Gaang and the Guru telling him that he needs to let go of earthly attachment and therefore Katara at the end of book 2 is such a sudden cold shower.
Aang (TW: SUICIDE): also his decision at the end of the season is so sad. i mean not for nothing but he's basically suicidal? like... that's so depressing, i really didn't want to be thinking about Aang wanting to literally die because he's so sad and lonely? i'm not saying it's not like realistic or whatever, it just made me feel like shit. it's like Bumi being so cynical and angry. it's not unreasonable of this Aang, who's being told on a weekly basis that whatever he does, he's going to lose everyone he loves, that after all his people have been killed, he's now going to have to bear this enormous burden he's never wanted completely alone, and that if he tries to find help anywhere that's not within himself, his past lives, he's also going to get everyone fucking killed. and i know it's sort of framed like a sacrifice, which it is, but the way he talks right before he does it, like "I should've been lost a 100 years ago, this isn't my world"??? despite what i think was the intended framing it felt so much like he just wants to die, like this is the only use for himself he can see in this world is to fucking. DIE. IT'S JUST SO FUCKING SAD. from this (originally) optimistic and resilient character this is sooo very out of character (the sacrifice wouldn't be. this basically suicide-thinly-veiled-as-sacrifice is.) okay i'll stop harping on about this, you get it.
Aang is out of character overall: anyway. another real bad moment was Aang telling Katara not to fight, all i'll say about that is that this is clearly not the Aang who said "if you don't train Katara, i won't learn from you either" putting his avatar training in jeopardy because someone tried to tell Katara what she can and cannot do. idk what else to say about him, i'm not really vibing with this adaptation of his character. OG Aang shines through here and there but he's lost a lot of his optimism, his inner strength, his charisma and his wisdom. i hope some of these issues get addressed if we get around to more seasons.
PART 5/5
START // PREVIOUS
Thank you for reading!
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elles-writing · 3 years
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Daughter Moments
Request: Hello! I’ve read your imagines they are sooo good! I was wondering if I can request a Kili x daughter reader? The ploy can be anything you want but the reader has to be kilis daughter pls? Thankyou!!❤️
Requested by @imagines4everyone
A/N: First of all, thank you so much!! I hope you will like it!
Then also...The ending is my favourite.
Triggers: mentions of injuries, scars, angst, feels (if there's any more, let me know please!)
Tags: @guardianofrivendell @dumbassunderthemountain @imagines4everyone
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Kili took a deep breath, as he looked over Dale. The town was beautiful, and he was lucky to be able to look at it during sunrise, every day, before he had to get back to his duties.
He felt the soft wind, running through his hair, and sun glittered in his deep brown eyes. He thought of his wife and daughter, and his mouth had soft dreamy smile in second.
When Kili came back to their shared chambers, he noticed Tauriel, gently stroking their ten months old Y/N's cheek.
"How are my two beautiful girls?" He chuckled, and his eyes were soft, as he looked down at his daughter and wife.
"Papa!" Y/N suddenly let out, and Tauriel and Kili looked at each other in shock and surprise. Their daughter just said her first word!
"You did it, Y/N! You did it!" Kili cried out, and started dancing across the room with his daughter in his arms. You giggled, and Tauriel watched the moment with tears in her eyes.
Five years later
"Papa?"
"Hm?"
"What are you doing?" You frowned, when you noticed your father.
Kili was trying to make a surprise for Tauriel - his wife's birthday was a very special day to him, as well as your birthday - and this year, as any other, it was something sweet. Last year he made her a pair of twin daggers and got all her favourite sweets from bakeries around Dale.
This year, he decided to bake a cake.
Needless to say, it was very funny.
To watch, obviously.
You sat up on the chair, and Kili put his hands on his hips. You looked into the bowl, and giggled. You tasted a bit of it, and frowned.
"Uncle Fili said you can't bake, daddy." You shook your head. Kili nervously looked at you.
"What did uncle Fili say?" You looked at your dad, and decided to tell him everything.
"Well, Uncle Fili said you cannot bake, and that you only eat in the kitchen, and he was right," you said. Kili looked at the light-coloured dough.
"It is salty," you said, and Kili's eyes widened. He slapped his forehead.
"I really switched sugar and salt," Kili sat down to the table, and put his chin on his hands. You wanted to say something, but you noticed his eyes were filling with tears. You jumped off of the chair, and walked to him.
"Why are you crying, daddy?"
"I'm not crying," he said, and got up.
"Can I help you?" You gave him your best puppy-eye look, and Kili sighed.
You just had to get this from him.
"Okay."
When you finally finished the cake, the sun was rising, but you and Kili fell asleep, sitting by the table.
The finished cake was, however, worth it.
Twelve years later
"What did you say?" Kili frowned at you. You shrugged.
"What do you mean?" Kili's usually kind brown eyes had a spark of anger in them.
"That I don't care about you."
"Oh, this. Well, because it's true! You literally make any guy run away from me, and then you make me stay inside! How am I supposed to get to know at least one?"
"You have still enough time for boys." Your father shook his head, as if he tried to get out the idea of dating out as quickly as he could.
"Fine. But if anyone asks, it's your fault," you said half-upset, half-joking.
You almost opened the door, when you heard your father speak.
"You know I want you to have someone who truly loves you," you turned around.
"I...I, um..." Kili deeply sighed. He felt a bit of guilt about the misunderstanding.
"Sit down, please." You did as he said, and he gently took your hands to his.
"When I met your mother, I knew she was...the One. My One. I fell for her even more, when we talked for the first time. And a few years later, there was also you. I was holding you after you were born, and I promised I will make sure you will have the same kind of love, the person you will roll your eyes at, but know you wouldn't want them any other way."
"Dad, I-"
"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just worried about you and want the best for you, but...the problem is, that in my eyes, nobody is good enough for you. I know you think it's the other way, but, it isn't. At least to me." You felt tears in your eyes.
"What do you think...mom would say?" You quietly whispered, as you felt tears in your eyes. He took a deep breath, probably to try to stop tears, too.
"Your mother would...secretly agree with me, but let you...let you go on an adventure, as long as you promise you are safe." Kili blinked to stop a tear, and sadly chuckled.
"You never know who you meet on an adventure."
You took his hands into yours, and gave him sad smile.
"She is alive. Trying to find her way back, from the orcs. Mom is a fighter."
"I believe too," he said, and looked outside. The sun slid across his face, and made his eyes spark, and showed you the way they used to shine when your mother was still there.
It's been a few months since you and your father talked, and you were on a ride from Hobbition. You liked to visit Bilbo and Frodo, and, as always, told each other news. When you almost got to Rivendell, you noticed someone lying down - with red hair. You stopped your horse, and jumped off of it.
You felt a rush of shock, when you realized who it was. She was full of cuts, but breathing.
You got to Rivendell safely, and when Lindir saw you, you let out just a whisper.
"Help her,"
You had no idea how did you end up in the working space of lord Elrond.
But, having soft blanket over your shoulders and sipping warm tea, after the shock, you wouldn't complain.
"Can I see her?" You whispered. Lord Elrond talked to a healer, and both of them looked at you.
"Your mother is asleep now," the healer carefully said. You nodded.
"Is she-"
"She is alive. We cleaned her injuries, and luckily, they were not even infected yet. You found her just in the right moment." You let out a breath. It felt like a huge weight fell off of your shoulders.
"Get some rest, princess Y/N. It will be good." The healer said, and helped you to get to other chambers, you guessed for guests. You laid down to bed, and fell asleep. You didn't even notice the healer turned around in the door, and slightly bowed, before he walked away.
You woke up into bright sunlight. You realized it was afternoon, and when you properly woke up, you found out you slept almost whole day and night.
When you took a bath and changed into light dress, you decided to go ask healer how was your mother doing.
You carefully knocked on the door. Someone slowly opened the door, and you realized it was the healer you already knew. After a short talk, he told you to get some rest. You decided to listen to him.
You didn't expect to fall asleep next to the bushes of lavender in Rivendell gardens, but the sweet, calming scent was strong.
You woke up with slight headache, and sat aside from the plants. You watched the sunset, and yawned. You also realized you haven't eaten whole day, and looked around for some fruit. You got up, and soon you found a few servants, who were actually looking for you, and as they mentioned dinner, you had no more questions.
At the dinner, you noticed the male healer you met earlier. You blushed when he noticed you looking at him, but he didn't do anything. Later, he catched your eyes again, and send you a tiny smile. You felt yourself smile as well.
After the dinner, Lindir walked you to your chambers. You took a bath, and when you got dressed, you opened your window and put a pillow and a blanket on the floor, to continue watching the sunset, and look at the stars. The sky was bright, and the fresh air made you feel lot better.
You got back to bed, but left the window open.
Your felt familiar smell, as you woke up. For a moment, you were five again, in your chambers in Erebor, and it was your birthday. Only other thing was the itchy feeling on your arms and legs.
Damn mosquitos.
"Mum?"
"I didn't mean to wake you, wildflower," you gasped and sat up, wide awake.
It was really her. Your mother, her red hair shining in the morning sun, looking at you.
Her face was full of cuts,which were in process of healing, and fading scars. Her hair was literally chopped off, now down to her chin.
Her green eyes were, however, full of motherly love. Just as you always knew them.
"This-this is a dream!" You let out a cry. She hug you tightly, and let out a cry too.
"I'm so glad you're safe..."
"What happened to you?" You whispered, as your arms tightened around her, afraid of it being just a dream.
"The orcs prisoned me, I tried to escape, but I was weak and didn't have any weapons. This time, I was finally lucky," she whispered, as she brushed your hair by her fingers.
"I'm here, Y/N. I promise it isn't a dream. I was fighting to run away every single day, and nothing could keep me away from you anymore."
Later that day, you sat down, to write a letter to Erebor.
Dear father,
I had to stay in Rivendell for longer, but, as you will find out - it was worth it...
Two years later
"Kili," Tauriel frowned at her husband. Kili looked at his wife with raised eyebrow.
"It's a boy, Tauriel!"
"And?"
"She's my little girl! She was born like...yesterday," Kili wiped off a tear from the corner of his eye.
"Well, our little girl is having a lovely partner. You will like him." Kili's eyes widened, and Tauriel tried not to laugh.
"You already met him? And didn't tell me?!"
"Well..." Tauriel would roll her eyes. Her husband was literally freaking out.
She didn't have the heart to tell him the reason you went to Rivendell or Mirkwood was because of your love, not because of political...anything.
Before she answered, you walked in, nervously smiling at both of them.
"I have, um...someone I want to introduce to you," you said. Your mother nodded at you with smile, and you sighed and patted your father's shoulder.
"It's fine, dad." You opened the door, and 'the elven healer from Rivendell', as you knew him two years ago, walked in.
"Mum, dad...this is, um, my boyfr-"
"Nice to meet you," Tauriel said, but looked at her husband by the corner of her eye.
"So...you are the elf my daughter is courting," Kili said, and you looked at your boyfriend. Him and your father were watching each other, and you gently took your lover's hand into yours, worried they might start fighting. Until...
They both broke a smile.
"Nice to meet you, Prince Kili. Y/N has told me a lot of good things about you."
"Y/N, would you come and prepare some tea with me?" Your mother asked you, and you both got out of the room.
You listened their conversation, talking about your meeting, and, your dad's, and your lover's, favourite - archery.
"I can't believe it!" You said, whispering.
"I know," your mother tried to hold in laugh.
"They literally-"
"Yes. Seems like they go along well."
"Now my dad will spend more time with my lover than I do," you pretend to be dramatic, but secretly you thought if it wouldn't be better if they didn't like each other.
You walked back in the room, with cups with steaming tea.
"Don't worry. Both of them know who are the best archers in the family," Your mother gave you a smile, and you proudly nodded, as you placed the cups down on table.
"That's not true, I always let you win!" They said at the same time, and you and your mother shared a look.
Later that day, you were with your father in the gardens. He was enjoying the quiet evening, and you were reading.
"Dad?"
"Hm?"
"You know...you said, about boys...that nobody would be good enough for me. In your eyes."
"Yeah." He nodded, and turned towards you.
"So, um...what do you think, now when you met my boyfriend?" You nervously waited for his answer.
"I think...I would never expect to say this, but...I approve him." You let out a laugh.
"Just because you're both good at archery?" He rolled his eyes.
"I wanted to say he seems to be very nice, but that too. We gotta keep the skill in family, don't we?" You shook your head and snorted with laugh.
"As well as recognizing elf men and elf maids." You started laughing when you noticed your father's wide eyes and flushed cheeks under his beard.
"Who told you that story?"
"Well...Uncle Fili has told me many interesting stories from your adventures," you said. Your father quickly stood up.
"Uncle Fili will quickly be reminded of what does it feels like to have younger brother," Your father muttered, as he walked inside the castle.
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styleswithaseaview · 3 years
Text
ev’s 600 follower writing challenge
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first off, i’d like to say thank you so incredibly much for your undying support. you all truly mean the world to me, and i don’t know how the hell i got here but alas, you made it happen. i love you all.
tagging my lovely moots/taglist : @krasivayadarling @hoe4cedricdiggory @feliciamint @sugarywinterroses @faeinorbit @truly-insatiable @dianadiggory @animalcrackersinchurch @ceofcedric @annasdani @punkrific @anchoeritic @dogsandrocketsocks @jxsperhxle @oldschoolkiddo @amourtentiaa @inks-and-jinx @kmcedric11 @orifortheweeknd @fallin-4-ya @incxndio @daisyyy2516 @acosmis-t @thotbutpurple @randomoutsiders
alright, onto the fun part under the cut!
general rules:
NO: incest, r*pe, excessive detail of mental illness or self harm, or any extreme topics that could potentially be triggering.
knock yourself out with: fluff, angst, smut - although, do put warnings accordingly, as i will be linking these on this post.
characters: this is only for the harry potter universe! marauders era, golden era, lightning era, whatever you want! just tell me the name <3
how to enter -
tag me in your fic!!! i want to see them! and dm me or send me an ask to alert me if i don’t see it, i tend to get a lot of notifs and don’t always click through all of them.
no deadline for this! take the time you need <3
prompt list
warnings: some are nsfw/angsty! also be sure to check all of them out the last ones are some of the best but theres 95 so.
these aren’t all mine! it’s a menagerie of prompts i’ve found and made.
sorry for the alteration, but please limit your prompt choices to 3 per fic !
1. "Your hair is so soft.."
2. "It's too cold! Come back!"
3. "No, I'm not letting you go. It's too early to get out of bed."
4. "C'mere, you can sit in my lap until I'm done working."
long nights in the library | c.d - @faeinorbit
5. "I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."
6. "Shh, you're safe. I won't let you go."
won’t let you go | c.d - @whipped-for-the-weasley-twins
7. "What? does that feel good?"
8. "Just pretend to be my date."
9. "They did it." "No they did."
10. "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
11. "It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."
12. "No no-it's alright, come here."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
13. "I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, promise."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
14. "Look, I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
15. "If could, I would kiss away all of your scars."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
16. "I think I might be falling in love with you."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
17. "Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all lday."
18. "It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person stronger."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
19. "Mmm.. you're warm."
long nights in the library | c.d. - @faeinorbit
20. "You're SO cute when you're half asleep like this.."
long nights in the library | c.d. - @faeinorbit
21. "I've had a rough day and honestly all want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with.."
22. "No, you can't get up! You're my prisoner for today."
23. "Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real.”
24. "You know I'm/we're always here for you, right?"
25. "Please talk to me about it."
26. "You have something in you hair.. um-do you want me to get it out?"
27. | remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror.."
28. "I would've had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm and didn't want to wake you."
29. "I know I've kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please."
30. "Are you wearing my shirt?"
wont let you go | c.d - @whipped-for-the-weasley-twins
31. "Wanna, like-I mean, if you're not busy.. We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don'thave a lot of time?"
32. "So I was driving past a pet store andcouldn't help but wonder how cute an animalwould be like in our home.."
33. "Let's just stay in bed."
34. "We live together. You can't blame this on anyone else."
35. "You're beautiful, you know that?"
36. "Shooting star. Make a wish."
37. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
38. "Wow, you're hot."
39. “I want to marry you."
40. "I want to take a shower SO you should probably join me. It'll save water."
41. "You're just not the same anymore.."
42. "It's midnight! Where the hell were you?"
43. "What the hell is your problem?!"
44. "Why do you run away from your problems all the time?"
45. "You can't keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won't do any good."
here for you | s.b. - @confuscita
46. "Hey, I know you're hurting.. but, you're not alone, okay?"
here for you | s.b - @confuscita
47. I hate you! I'm sorry it took me so damn long to realize that."
48. "You lost your chance."
49. "I'm sorry if gave you the wrong impression."
50. "You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset!"
51. "Calm down! You're scaring me!"
52. "Don't look at me like that."
53. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
54. "I'm done trying to help you!"
55. "Sorry doesn't fix everything."
53. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
54. "I'm done trying to help you!"
55. "Sorry doesn't fix everything."
56. "You didn't call. You didn't text. Nothing."
57. "It isn't up for debate."
58. "I don't know what's wrong, okay? I'm just... really tired."
59. "I'm fine. Stop asking."
falling apart | s.b. - @daisyyy2516
60. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong, and don't try lying to me."
61. "I hope someday you get a taste of your own medicine."
62. "Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight!"
63. "Is this how little you think of me?"
64. "I can't do this anymore.. not with you."
65. "Are you happy now? Huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!"
66. "You said you'd always be there for me... so how did this happened? Why weren't you there?"
67. "Did it ever occur to you that you're hurting me too?"
68. “I don't need help! I just want the pain to end.”
84. "Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don't take it personally. It's just easier."
here for you | s.b - @confuscita
85. "You're jealous, aren't you?" "I'm not jealous."
86. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
87. 6 | can't believe you dragged me into this."
88. "Bite me." "'Eat me." "Kiss my ass."
89. "You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?"
90. "You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that's going to stop us, but at least I'll have all the facts."
here for you | s.b - @confuscita
91. "You weren't supposed to laugh! I'm so embarrassed!"
92. " I vote today be a pajama day."
93. "You’re such an idiot.” “I’m your idiot.”
94. "It's a real shame nobody asked for your opinion."
here for you | s.b - @confuscita
95. “I saw that. You just checked me out."
here for you | s.b - @confuscita
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hotchley · 2 years
Text
Okay so nobody actually wanted this but I'm posting it anyway because I need to get it out my system. Hi 9-1-1: Lone Star fans, you're all really talented and great. This is not. It's my first non CM actual fanfic and I feel a little rubbish about it and everyone feels OOC but we're going with it.
Semi canon-divergent for 2x06: Everyone And Their Brother i.e that final scene with TK and Owen never happened. I just ended up looking through the anti owen tag and was inspired lol.
It'll go up on ao3 when I have a title. In the meantime... yeah. I'm going to sleep because I don't want to see the reaction lol. No proofreading
If you like Owen please don't read this, it's very ANTI OWEN STRAND
Trigger Warnings: past divorce, mentions of pregnancy, implied depressive episode, low self-esteem/negative self-image, past drug use, implied parental neglect, alcohol mention, thoughts of drug and alcohol use to cope, thoughts of relapse, self-destructive urges
TK isn’t hiding.
Hiding is what he did when he was seven years old and trying to escape the sound of his parents shouting matches that touched every wall of their apartment.
Hiding is what he did when he was scared. Of the way his parents could turn on each other. Of his problems. Of a relationship with Carlos- which was ridiculous because he’s perfect.
He’s not scared right now.
He’s numb. Maybe a little angry. Which is why he’s not hiding. He’s simply avoiding.
He can’t look at his dad. If he does, he will say something he doesn’t really mean in order to hurt him. Although, hurting him doesn’t feel like enough. He wants to destroy him in the same way his earlier words did.
Because he’s going to be a father.
As though he hasn’t been one for twenty-six years. As though TK means nothing. As though he doesn’t need his dad anymore.
And he can’t speak to the rest of the 126. They don’t know yet. Gwyn and Owen don’t want them knowing so early on. Judd finding out was going off-script.
Well. The whole pregnancy is off-script so TK doesn’t really care that one person knows. It feels fitting though. Judd knew about the cancer. Now he knows about the baby.
He’d phone Carlos but he’s on a shift. And although Carlos has made it clear that if he’s feeling sad or overwhelmed or grey to just call- he’ll try and answer and if he can’t he’ll do something as quickly as possible- TK can’t bring himself to press the button.
It’d be nice to hear his voice but he can’t make himself do it. He almost wants Carlos to phone him needing a few words of encouragement or comfort just so he can speak to him.
But his screen remains black. Much like TK’s emotions.
“I’ve been looking for you all over. You can be a hard, hard man to find, Judd says, filling the cupboard TK has been avoiding people in with light as he opens the door.
“Do we have a call?” TK asks. His voice is shaky. He’s been crying. It’s why he doesn’t look up.
It’s a dumb question. If they had a call, he would’ve heard the sirens.
“No we do not. Me and you are meant to be doing some driving,” Judd says.
Of course they are. TK suddenly feels even more like shit because here’s Judd, giving up his free time to teach him how to drive fire trucks and he’s completely blown him off.
He scrambles to stand up, stumbling as he does so and tries to brush past without looking at him.
“Let’s go.”
“Woah woah, hold your horses kid. What’s going on?” Judd asks, pushing him back.
“Nothing Judd.”
“If you’re hiding in here it’s not nothing.”
“It is nothing. And I’m not hiding!”
Judd sighs. “Kid. If this is about the pregnancy-“
“It’s not about the pregnancy!” TK snaps.
“It’s okay! You’re not a bad person that’s what I keep trying to say but you won’t bloody listen to me. You’re allowed to be upset or angry about this. I won’t judge.
“Judd. It’s not about the pregnancy. I don’t want to talk about. Let’s just go drive.”
“No.” It’s harsher than usual.
TK splutters. “No?”
“No. We ain’t going anywhere till you tell me what’s going on. And don’t you dare say nothing.”
“I will say nothing because again- there’s nothing going on!”
“You can say there’s nothing till you’re blue in the face. Won’t change the fact that there is. And I don’t know, maybe it’s wrong of me to keep pushing but I know that if my Grace hadn’t kept pushing at me, I wouldn’t be here. So I’m asking you again. What. Is. It?”
It’s too much.
“Fine. You want to know what’s bothering me? I’m not enough for my dad anymore. And I don’t think I ever was.”
Judd is so stunned that for a moment he can’t speak. He lets out a nervous laugh but there’s a pain in TK’s eyes that is too raw for this to be a joke.
“Oh kid. Look, I don’t know where this came from, but Owen would die for you. You’re everything to him. He didn’t leave your side in the hospital, he’d probably be kicking himself if he heard you. I’ve never seen a man who loves their child the way he does.”
“Yeah? If I mean so much to him, how comes he’s only having his operation now he’s got a precious and undamaged new baby on the way?”
Judd doesn’t have a response to that. Not beyond: “TK you aren’t damaged. And I’ll fight whoever said you were.”
“You don’t get it Judd. My entire life, I’ve been causing problems for my parents. All I’ve ever done is make their lives difficult. I think my dad’s just been looking for an excuse to move on from me.”
“TK… I don’t understand a lot of things about your dad. Quite frankly, I don’t agree with a lot of his ideas either. But the one thing me and him will always agree on is how much we love you.”
TK doesn’t look convinced and Judd knows there’s nothing else he can do. The rest needs to come from Owen, which quite frankly concerns him.
“Now come on. Dry those pretty eyes. You can’t drive if you’re vision is being blurred by all this emotion.”
If nothing else, TK laughs. He follows Judd out, and for a few hours, everything is okay. But like most things, it ends.
“Judd told me you got upset earlier,” Owen says casually.
TK freezes. Everyone else has left.
“It’s nothing.”
“Is it? Because from what he was saying, it’s something.“
TK laughs nervously. “Yeah well, you know Judd.”
“Yeah. I do. Which is why I’m wondering what happened that was so bad he was willing to betray your confidence.”
TK sighs. “You, if I’m being honest.”
Owen blinks. “Me?”
“Earlier. You- dad, you said to me you were getting the operation that I’ve been wanting you to get for months because you’re going to be a father.”
“Oh come on TK, you’re overreacting.”
“Am I? What did you mean when you said that then?”
“I meant-“ Owen falters.
TK scoffs. “See. Look, I’m not mad at the fact that I’m going to have a sibling. I’m mad because I’m twenty-six and you and mom never once apologised for the way you treated me.”
“We weren’t bad parents TK.”
“Oh I know. You weren’t bad parents because you were barely parents. You both just ran to your jobs until you had to remember I existed.”
He doesn’t give Owen a chance to respond. He walks out of the firehouse and runs until he can’t run anymore. And then he calls an Uber to Carlos’. It’s meant to be a night he spends at his dad’s but he won’t do that.
“TK. What are you doing here?” Carlos asks. But there’s no judgment. Only curiosity.
“You don’t keep alcohol here do you?” TK blurts out.
Carlos looks a little hurt. “Of course not. I used to only get it for special occasions but now I just find something else.”
“Good. I- my dad said some stuff. And then I said some stuff and now I really, really cannot be there but I don’t- I won’t go anywhere else. And I don’t really want to get drunk or high or anything it’s just… it’s easier than feeling like this.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He shakes his head. “I just- can you read to me? Something that will send me to sleep?”
“Yeah, sure. Anything in particular? I’ve been reading this really great science fiction novel, I can start from the beginning if you want.”
TK smiles and nods. Carlos relaxes and leads him up the stairs. Whilst he gets changed and sets up the bed the way he likes it, TK brushes his teeth and uses the toilet.
When he looks in the mirror, he realises how much of a mess he is.
The urge to do something self-destructive doesn’t vanish as Carlos reads to him, voice low and soothing, but it reduces it long enough for him to fall asleep.
Him and Carlos share a lazy day off the next day. When he goes to shift the day after that, things aren’t perfect.
But he’s gotten through his craving. And Judd hugs him the moment he steps through the doors. It’s comforting.
Owen refers to him as son, which feels like an insult but isn’t intended to be one. It’s not an apology- nowhere near- but it’s something. Not enough. But then his parents have rarely ever done enough. It’s more than he was expecting though. Which is a little sad.
There’s a part of TK’s brain that is waiting for the other shoe to drop, for his dad to screw up beyond belief again. But this time, he won’t be sixteen and sobbing in his bed because he just really needs his dad to help him fix his problems.
He’ll be twenty-six, with the family he chose to support him, the man he loves, and the ability to put what is best for him above what will make his dad look at him again. And that's more than he ever had before. And it will be enough.
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