#i don't really feel bad because i'm already used to fucked sleep schedules

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

A Long Damn Night - LN4/MV1/CL16/OP81

Summary: Drivers are divided about Vegas, but one thing they can agree on is the sucky schedule and there is no better evidence of how bad it is than Vegas FP2.

This is just a quick little bit of how I think these four drivers would be after that practice. They're the top four I write about and I got some feelings about Vegas that I just gotta get out my system (spoiler! I'm all for Max's attitude about it) but don't worry, this is entirely for.

It's divided by driver so if you'd rather just read one or two and not a different one, you can skip over to them and ignore the rest. Also, while I do think I write the readers as characters all quite a like, I think this might also show the slight differences of how I see the each of these drivers as boyfriends but also what type of person the reader I'd pair them each with would be.

^^This might just be my Roman Empire^^

Lando Norris

Lando's car is not enjoying the Vegas track, the adjustments didn't do all that much to improve it. It's been a hard day and it's proving that perhaps McLaren just won't continue their podium streak. At least that's how much it's cut into Lando's confidence.

The team are trying and with the time of day they've been pushed to, it's not surprise that they're all ready to call it a day. Most of them are now going on 20 hours of being awake and it's wearing on them all.

"Alright, bud. You get back to the hotel and get some rest ahead of tomorrow-later today." Zak states patting the young man's back while he sighs and smiles spotting y/n waiting for him.

She's not quite at his level of exhausted, but she is like the team. She hasn't napped despite forcing Lando to sleep at every opportunity. As part of that, she promised to stay awake so that she would be able to wake him up without having to use a blaring alarm.

"Let's get out of here." Lando smiles while moving to hug her. "I'm not driving. Jon is."

"That's ok with me." Y/n nods before shivering and groaning. "Been freezing my bollocks off here."

Lando can't even stop his laugh at her choice of words as he rubs her sides to try and help warm her up. She is layered up in what looks to be a stolen hoodie and jacket on top of the sweater she had already chosen to wear.

"Time to go."

Despite them both being exhausted. Lando finds y/n running a bath to try and warm herself up, so he joins her. Both of them relishing in the warmth.

"How are you feeling about it?" Y/n asks knowing that it was a different feel today. Porpoising, the balance is wrong and it's looking like their car just isn't going to perform well because of the low downforce of the track. Not to mention the grip was bad and the tyres were getting shredded by the track. A lot is working against them so far which is never good.

"I'm feeling...like maybe Abu Dhabi is going to be a really good race to look forward to." Lando smiles while rolling his head, keeping his eyes closed. "We've still got tomorrow to iron things out."

"Yeah, and worst comes to worst. If Ferrari wins again I'll just dump you for Carlos." Y/n jokes only to feel Lando's arms wrap around her and tightly squeeze her. A method of punishment for trying to wind him up that he often uses, squeezing her in a hug till she taps out. "Alright! I'll just try to seduce Max, he's the champion."

"Oh come on, he's my best friend on the grid."

"Yeah, so you'll still get to see me."

"Wow. Oh wow. You're so cold."

"Like fucking Vegas." Y/n states nuzzling back against him with a shiver just from the memory of waiting for FP2 to finish up. "Alright, bed time. You need so much sleep and so do I."

Max Verstappen

It surprised no one, least of all his girlfriend, that Max was entirely unimpressed by the first day out on track. A Ferrari being so damaged that they've only increased the danger by fill drains with cement.

Genius thinking.

The media are only lucky that Max is too tired to express his annoyance in an angrier way. He's actually exhausted. Y/n grimaces every time he rubs his hands over his face and she can't help but just want to drag him out of the debrief.

Red Bull didn't necessarily have a bad run, but there's room for improve and with the slippery surface of the track from lack of use and cool temperatures meaning that he made mistakes that have left him fizzling in anger.

"This race is a joke." Max states as he climbs into the car, ready to get back to the hotel. He's the first one out of the paddock and y/n actually stumbled her way following him out of the paddock. "The amount of people spinning off and taking the run off area. It is a joke."

"You knew it wouldn't be a good track." Y/n yawns then tsking when Max's finger pokes into her mouth making her swat his hand away and frown. "I thought you were tired."

"Never too tired to do that." Max smiles then sighing as the momentary joy of annoying his girlfriend passes. "The race will be a mess."

"I know."

"I don't know how I'm meant to enjoy it."

"I'm sure if you win, you'll find a way to feel better." Y/n states then tilting her head. "It's one race, one weekend and I think the world knows exactly how you feel about Vegas, the track and the whole race weekend. But I believe you can handle living through this...especially with the rumours about it not being kept on the calendar in the long term."

Max just grunts making her smile then lean her head on his shoulder trying to soften up his mood.

"We can get room service when we're back at the hotel. You need to eat before you go to sleep." Y/n smiles earning a nod from the champion. Mainly because part of his exhaustion and moodiness might also be from a need to eat and get back some of the energy he's lost.

When they get back, they do order some food. Y/n choosing something that is slightly more indulgent while Max has to keep to his diet. It does perk up his mood a little, but the sleep deprivation is still hitting so hard.

By the time they crawl under the covers, neither of them can fight the sleep that is yanking them into the depth. Though before she completely drifts off, y/n does feel Max kiss her softly.

Charles Leclerc

Y/n had watches the whole of FP2 (and the short-lived FP1), but it was during the media and debrief that she'd fallen asleep at the back of the garage. Originally she told him that she would catch up and just needed a few moments to find the energy to move.

So of course her buzzed boyfriend, beyond happy with his results for today even if Carlos' day has been ruined by the news of his 10 place grid penalty, notices that she's missing and not many know where she is.

At least not until one of the mechanics appears with a slightly amused expression.

"Y/n is asleep in the garage. Exactly where you left her, but we did put a couple jackets on her because she was shivering a little while she was asleep."

"Merde. Ah, thank you. I will get her." Charles laughs, he's beginning to feel the fatigue but honestly he got some sort of boost in energy. Maybe an adrenaline kick from the car managing to perform so well and this track seeming to be a breeze for Charles with not a single hiccup. Surprisingly since even the likes of Max and Carlos ended up using the run off area after lock ups.

He did have a moment of snapping in the car when slowed down by Zhou, and he'd admit it was not nice his kindest moment. But he's calmed down and his mood has levelled out.

He jogs to the garage moving around and shifting till he finds his girlfriend who is looking more like a pile of spare Ferrari jackers while her head pokes out a little.

"Amour, baby. We need to get leaving." Charles whispers crouching down and lifting the jackets to look at her a little better while she slowly opens her eyes. "They want to lock up the garage and you need to sleep in a bed."

"What time is it?"

"So late is is early...I think it's just gone 5."

"Oh wow, ok. Sorry, did I keep you waiting?"

"No, I just didn't know where you were." Charles laughs as she shiftings her limbs and gently pushes the jackets off, feeling the harsh hit of the cold air cause goosebumps to rise on her skin as she stands. "We can keep one jacket for you."

He helps his sleepy girlfriend into the jacket before linking his hand with her own. One good thing about Charles, at least in y/n's opinion, is that he's very hot blooded. Water sensitive but his body is always warm, hence why before races he's always in the ice jackets and spraying cold water everywhere. The man runs hot.

So as he rubs his hands over her own to try and warm her up, she can't even hide the smile.

"How are you so awake?" Y/n yawns as he opens the passenger door for her.

"Because today has been a good day for me. It is looking food for tomorrow and the whole weekend." Charles states confidently which is actually amazing to hear after the DNS in Brazil.

Y/n falls asleep in the car listening to Charles talking, not that she means to but it's so late and she just exhausted. So Charles ends up carrying her into the hotel and putting her to bed, making a weak but successful attempt at doing a partial skincare routine to at least remove her makeup.

Oscar Piastri

Since y/n and Oscar had been wise enough to take every opportunity to nap and sleep together through the day, y/n was more than awake and aware through the free practice despite the time of day.

She's the first person he steps to after talking to his engineer and he reflects her sympathetic pout before leaning down to kiss it away.

"It's ok. You both had a tough time and who knows what tomorrows going to bring, yeah?" Y/n smiles softly while Oscar nods.

Y/n is the sunshine to Oscars day, and she doesn't even had to try but the moment she says something his body does feel better with a weight lifted from his shoulders despite her words really making no difference to what's actually going on.

"I love you." Y/n whispers earning smile and kiss. "Just remember you are the best rookie the sport has seen in a very long time. That's you."

"Now you're just trying to inflate my ego." Oscar laughs then grunting as he pulls her legs up around his waist and carries her to his drivers room knowing that there's no cameras for the broadcast in his half of the garage so there's no chance of any sky sports freak out of what his plans are after such a long day.

Spoiler, it's to sleep with his girlfriend but no that does not mean sex. That means going to sleep because it's so late and the delay has just stretched out what was already a very long day.

"Do you want to eat? Or at we just going to sleep and have an extra big breakfast again?"

"I think an extra big breakfast. I don't have the energy to eat...but you can grab something-you should grab something while we have the debrief." Oscar states making her smile lightly before she nods knowing that Oscar doesn't often call the shots like this and maybe she can blame his tiredness combine with the frustrating outcome and the cool weather. But equally he's just showing he cares.

"Are you sure you don't want me to grab you anything?"

"Mmm...maybe just a snack."

"Ok." Y/n smiles before grinning at him and kissing him softly. "Shower and clean up, it might be cold but you're still sweaty and gross."

"Don't pretend you don't like it." Oscar smirks, letting out his slightly cheekier side that is practically exclusive to her with only sprinkles of it ever shown to those beyond her and nearly never to the media or public.

Y/n does get tugged into sticking around for several more kisses since Oscar can be a bit clingy when tired and definitely the most affectionate man ever when he wants to be.

"Baby, I promise I'm going to see you once you're a little fresher. But we both have to part." Y/n laughs gently pushing his arms off of her.

Oscar begrudgingly releases her and she exits his drivers room, ending up in conversation with Zak as bumps into him. The older man also being visibly exhausted and ready for bed, most likely the last thing anyone in any of the teams wanting to part-take in a debrief.

He ends up grabbing something to eat with her with Andrea and couple others from the team while they wait on the boys to finish up media before heading up for the debrief. Although, Oscar spots her on his way in and immediately heads to her.

"Ah, no you have the debrief." Y/n laughs trying to dodge him but the bear hug that she's smothered in is not held back while Lando laughs at the two and a McLaren photographer captures the moment. "Oscar, you have to go. Everyone wants to get it over and done with so we can all leave."

Oscar groans clearly struggling to fight the tiredness despite having probably been one of the more well rested drivers of the day.

#f1 #formula 1 #fanfic #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #norris #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #mv1 #ln4 #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc #cl16 #oscar piastri one shot #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #mclaren #mclaren f1 #op81

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆

organization: i know it's the most trivial advice in the world, but i swear it works. before doing anything, i take my planner and review everything i have to do, i divide the study by subject, amount of things to study and review spaces for exams. realistically, you can't expect to do it all in one day, but a good plan could almost allow you to sleep at night!

a clean workspace: i can't fucking concentrate if there's a mess aroud me, i get distracted easily, even by dust, so before i start studying i always deep-clean my desk. i know that not everyone can afford a personal and quiet place to study in their houses, so try to find yourself a small angle where you can really focus.

go to study in a library / café: i didn't believe it at first, but it's actually useful. if you have the opportunity to go to a library or a café after school ( or near your house ) do so. being surrounded by people who are studying like you really helps to focus, you'll be less inclined to get distracted and procastinate. i would feel uncomfortable using my phone in a library with other people who are doing their work while i'm sitting there scrolling on tumblr.

breaks: ik ik, not very blair waldrof, hermione granger, spencer hastings, rory gilmore of me, isn't it? but is it worth it. sometimes i end up having really bad headaches from studying and, even if i keep studying, the quality of my work decreases significantly. breaks are fundamental. i would not recommend using social networks for your beak, because they litteraly drain your attention, rather do your skincare, prepare yourself a snack ( eating is important! it's what makes you focus ), read 10 pages of your book, dance a little bit in your room, do stretching, go outside and buy some mint chewingum, something like that.

EAT!: girls, boys and theys, we know. i honestly think that almost every person that craves academic validation ends up developing a sort of eating disorder. it's not even the food, is the fact that you are too busy studying that you forget to eat, ignoring stomach cramps, or the fact that you didn't get that answer right and now you don't feel like you deserve the lunch. i understand bc i AM like this, like you. but think about it: you need to do it in order to survive ( but this is secondary to the grades, right? ) and to keep your brain active. you can't walk around with blurred vision because you haven't eaten or drunk for fourteen continuous hours. i swear that eating like a normal human being helps you to keep going.

sleep: same thing as eating, but with our terrible sleeping schedules. i know that school is toxic so we end up finishing our homeworks at 2 am everyday ( if we're lucky ) but when you have the chance, take a nap and recover.

repeat things as if you were explaining them to someone: this is litterally the fastest way ever to learn fundamental concepts when you're studying. imagine that you're talking to a friend that doesn't know anything about the subject that you're studying and try to explain the topic to them. finding simple words for a difficult topic will help you understand it thoroughly, on this basis you can then build an articulated and more academic speech. repeat things out loud, doesn't matter if you look crazy, you already are <3

check and organize your notes the same day: i never have time to take proper notes in class, so i review them as soon as possible, with the lesson still fresh in mind. it really helps me understand the subject and makes the further study much easier.

watch youtube videos: youtube is my favourite class. sometimes teachers are dumber than students and you, who don't have a degree in that subject and are tackling a topic for the first time, don't understand a damn thing. ofc not!! sometimes professors are terrible at explaining stuff, but fazal from pakistan isn't. i passed my physics class with a 10/10 thanks to an indian guy on youtube. documentaries and yt videos are a simple and nice way to understand better topics and do insights for extra credits.

delete social media: i'm gonna do another post specifically for this.

"STUDY!" wallpaper: last but not least, the dumbest yet the smartest advice, set as lockscreen a white / black / whatever background with a big fat "STUDY!" written on it. everytime you're about to pick up your phone and procastinate the wallpaper will scold you.

hope this was useful or at least fun to read byee

#academia #college #education #note taking #school #student #study aesthetic #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #study notes #study tips #studyblr #studyinspo #studyspo #university life #univeristy #uni life #university #university student #university studyblr #university stuff #college life #dark academia #light academia #chaotic academia #academic validation #academic weapon #academic life #architecture studyblr

[mrsnancywheeler]

having an angsty morning (there's some nsfw implications at the end), but like being in a place where you're feeling like you need some extra love and attention, but at the same time finnick odair being in a place where he's being consumed by his thoughts, easily distracted, quiet, and just paying attention to his thoughts. and then you're kind of spiraling because your brain is freaking out that you're not getting what you need.

"finnick...finnick. finnick!"

"sorry. what's going on?" you're snapping him out of whatever daze he was in just long enough to talk to him.

"I was just saying I went shopping earlier, got some new shoes, and dresses, and swimsuits."

and he's not closed off, he hasn't shut down, but he's not being the eager to love on finnick that you need today. "I'm sure you'll look gorgeous, sweetheart." and there's a pang because you want him to ask to see them, for him to have you try them on like he would on other days, but you don't want to ask for it.

so you just nod, "yeah." smile strained.

later he's saying he's tired, "I'm gonna take a nap, wake me up if I'm not down in an hour."

"I'll just come with you, could use a nap too." In all reality you just want an excuse to cuddle, you'll happily lie awake while he rests if his arms are wrapped around yours.

"honey, you're not tired at all. don't want you to throw off your sleep schedule and then you can't sleep later." he's right and you hate it, especially that he's still caring and loving when missing what you're really wanting.

"yeah, you're right. have a good nap, Finn" he's smiling softly, kissing you quickly, and you hate that right now your brain is aching for more. you ache to be consumed by his presence. ache to be perceived by him.

after dinner, you're finally cuddled up watching a movie, but you just want to talk to him, to laugh with him. maybe the movie's great, but you have no idea because all you want is his focus to be away from it. which usually isn't hard to do, most movies he'll spend time staring at you, make jokes, but now he's completely occupied. it feels terrible to want his undivided attention this bad, but you're persisting.

"you know-" he's cutting you off with his finger on your lips.

he's smiling softly, playing with your hair, "shhh, let's just watch the movie, sweetheart."

it feels perfectly reasonable but now you're wondering if he really just fucking shushed you. usually you wouldn't mind, but you feel so desperate to be pampered and so confused on why it just happens to be the one day he's not already at that level. you feel ridiculous, but it hurts regardless. so you land on just trying to give yourself some extra love and attention is he won't, it won't be the same, but some self-care could be what you need.

you're off the couch as quick as you can be and ignoring finnick's curious look, at first he just assumed you're going to get a snack or to the bathroom and will be back. but you decide to just take a few deep breaths, start your skincare routine, paint your nails, maybe run a bath after, just try to relax, you don't know why you're getting so tense and anxious to be loved on.

and you're halfway done painting your toes when there's a knock on the bathroom door. "you can come in"

and finnick's slowly opening the door, taking a deep breath, "I know I should have just paused the movie and not shushed you, sweetheart. I'm sorry, you wanna come back downstairs now?"

how does he miss the point so completely? how can him trying be so endearing yet so frustrating? "thank you, finnick. I just don't feel like watching a movie right now."

"bring a book down or something, paint your nails down there."

"I don't want to."

he's scoffing, "I'm just trying to spend some time with you right now-"

you're standing up, jamming the lid to the nail polish on, "if you're gonna get mad at me then leave me alone, i didn't ask for your apology, and I didn't ask you to come in here!"

"you stormed off in the middle of a movie, was I not supposed to check on you?"

"now you want to check up on me? see what I need?" you're not being fair, you know that, but you don't care.

"what does that even mean?" and you can't stop yourself from crying. everything is too much. he's acting like something's dawned on him, but still misses the mark. "you must be exhausted, sweetheart, god, I'm so dense. I should never have told you no to taking a nap with me earlier, I just wanted to be alone for a while, but you really needed some rest. I'm sorry for getting upset with you, let's go to sleep."

"I'm not fucking tired, finnick! oh my god, just, you don't get it!"

he's taking deep breaths, "what don't I get, sweetheart?"

suddenly you're feeling too embarrassed to even say it, "nothing."

"nothing? nice try, c'mon talk to me, I care about you and want you to feel better." he's grabbing your hand, a shoulder, trying to rub them and remind you to breathe and then open up.

"you've just been ignoring me." you're basically whispering it.

*ignoring you? no, I haven't, we've spent time together."

"see, you don't get it."

his eyebrows are furrowing like he's trying to understand, "you need to tell me, to use your words, I know you can."

you're rolling your eyes, whining in frustration and one stern look from him is shutting that down as quickly as you can. "we've spent time together, but you're not paying attention to me." when he gets it he's laughing and you're pulling away, frowning, " don't laugh at me! nevermind, it's stupid forget about it."

"it's not stupid, sweet girl. but you're throwing a temper tantrum about me not paying attention to you instead of telling me. all this when you could've just asked."

"usually you already do it!"

his eyes soften, "I know, I'm sorry. sit down, let me finish painting your toes and when we're done, I'll run you a bath, read you a book, sound good, pretty girl?"

and you're already smiling, "yes, thank you. 'm sorry"

he's shaking his head with a smile, "don't worry about it, it's my fault. I've drilled in the expectation and then didn't follow through, my poor baby-"

and you can't help the things that does to you, "don't call me that."

and in faux innocence with his puppy dog eyes he asking, "why not?"

#wanda 💋 #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you

[gyusimp]

°•𝑻𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄•° (𝑀𝑟𝑠. 𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑎'𝑠 𝑇𝑜𝑥𝑖𝑐 𝑓𝑖𝑐 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑡 2)

Read Part 1 here!

🛐 WARNINGS: NSFW | Explicit content | Toxic content | Toxic relationship | Handling | Bad words | MINORS DNI! | Modern AU | Read at your own risk. If u don't like, pls no hate and just leave. I based a bit on the Jinx manhwa to write this 👀 No attempt is made to romanticize or normalize toxic relationships, this is just fiction.

Thank u girl for ur permission 🤧 u r the best! @mrsshabana

Here you were, on your way to the Shabana's house again. You received a text message from an unknown number that turned out to be Gyutaro who spent the whole week insisting that he wanted to see you now that you were already his "girlfriend" at first you refused but thinking of all the negative things as a result of this decision, you resigned yourself to playing along, at least you had already achieved the first thing on your list, which was to make the cheerleading squad.

You rang the bell as soon as you arrived and a few seconds later, Gyutaro appeared on the other side of the door drawing a smile on his face when he saw you in front of him so he let you in. You walked behind him looking for Ume with your eyes and when you didn't see her you knew that the situation from the last time you were here was going to repeat itself.

"Hey wait, this wasn't what we agreed on!" You said, after seeing that Gyutaro's intentions were to take you to his room. "You said that I should only agree to be your girlfriend, that's all!"

"And then what do you think girlfriends are for? To hold their hands and write them romantic letters, nothing more?" He replied, with his typical shit-eating smile and a mocking voice. "You know what I really want, girl, and you agreed despite that. Now go ahead and do your girlfriend duties."

You looked at him seriously and angry, you promised yourself not to allow this guy to use you again. You had a hard time accepting the way your virginity was taken, many tears before going to sleep and you didn't want to go through that again. Never more.

"Of course not, fuck you." You told him. You settled your bag on your shoulder and were about to leave. You guessed that this time Gyutaro didn't care because he just took his cell phone out of the pocket of his ripped jeans and touched something on the screen. You were walking down the stairs back to the front door when you heard Ume's voice on speaker starting a call.

"Brother, hi what's up?"

"Hi Ume, you see...I'm here with y/n at home and a question just came up, is she already part of the cheerleading squad?" You turned around to look at him, you damn manipulator.

"Yes, she can join us at the next practice."

"Oh, well...the truth is, she's not sure if she'll be able to take part or not. She says she has other things to do and-

"Don't do it!" You told Gyutaro, both of you were silent making Ume feel confused.

"Gyu, are you still there?"

He smirked as if he enjoyed your suffering and looked you up and down in the dirtiest way he's ever done.

"What am I going to do with you?" He whispered. "Ume, Forget everything I told you, y/n arranged her schedule so there's no problem."

"Sure? Well, if another change comes up you know you can tell me."

"Ok sis, see ya." He said and hung up the call, putting his phone back away.

You had no other choice and besides, you realized that no matter what things you get nothing was guaranteed and Gyutaro could take it from you whenever he wanted if you contradicted him. You sighed heavily and entered his room again, letting him close the door behind you. You were standing in the middle of the room, looking anywhere, not knowing what to say or do. Gyutaro walked around you watching you carefully, he took your arm and pressed his knee behind yours to make you fall to the ground and kneel, he took a part of your hair and pulled it closer to him. You closed your eyes scared of what could happen so when you felt a pressure against your cheek you decided to open your eyes, realizing that your face was in his crotch.

"I've barely thought about how we're going to have fun today and look how hard you already gave me put!" He laughed.

Gyutaro didn't let go of you until he started to unfasten his belt and his pants, the sound of the buckle and the zipper opening made your hands sweat and your heartbeat quicken, filling your body with fear and insecurity. His hands parted his clothing and he went to the top of his boxers to pull them down, releasing his erect length into your face. Seeing it made you shake as it was too obvious what would happen next. He pulled your hair again with less force than a while ago, so that you would look into his eyes.

"Suck it." It wasn't a question, it was an order.

"W-wait, what!?"

"Make it quick, I have other things on my mind." You froze, you had never done this before in your life so that filled you with terror, you felt disgusted at the short distance between his wet tip and your face without knowing what to do.

"Hurry up!" Gyutaro ordered.

You sighed. You slowly approached him, maybe if you closed your eyes it wouldn't be so bad? Your mouth parted and you began to give short and small kisses on his tip until you felt your lips get wet with his pre-cum, that made you want to vomit immediately so you moved away with teary eyes covering your mouth with one hand before the gagging began.

"I can't believe you're so fucking inexperienced. You're pathetic." He said, annoyed.

It wasn't like Gyutaro was the most experienced guy in the world either, actually, his first time ever sleeping with someone was with you but unlike you, a bunch of porn videos had given him enough information almost as much as if he had already had sex many times before.

"Open your mouth and stick out your tongue, as if you were going to the dentist." he scoffed.

You weren't sure, but you also didn't want to make him angrier or he would probably be rude. You did what he said and you opened your mouth sticking out your tongue, not too much so he would go little by little or that was what you thought. From one second to the next, Gyutaro grabbed your head pulling your hair again and skewered himself into your mouth with a single firm blow reaching your throat. Now it was inevitable that the gagging appeared.

"If you throw up or if I feel your teeth, you're dead."

You didn't have to do much since Gyutaro was doing most of the work, he was holding your head and moving his hips against your face with force. You were trying to gasp for breath, trying not to cry or your sobs would choke you; you just clung to his thick thighs with both hands trying not to fall. When you heard Gyutaro start to moan and your tongue get wetter, everything had gone to hell.

A strange taste invaded your mouth, Gyutaro did not stop and it seemed that he even tried to go deeper, if you stopped him with your teeth and disobeyed his warning, who knows what he would be capable of doing so you preferred not to find out. Instead, you pressed your lips around him and thus slowed his movements, you did so with each of his thrusts so that was clearly pleasing to him.

"It seems you're starting to enjoy it, right? Little bitch..."

You closed and opened your eyes blinking heavily, you could barely swallow because you didn't want to feel his taste and breathing was already getting difficult between so many tears and his cock bursting into your mouth, your nose was not enough to breathe. Your hair was messy and sticking to your tear-drenched cheeks; You didn't even know how much time had passed, your throat was burning until after all this time Gyutaro pulled your hair hard and came completely out of you before cumming into your mouth, still a few drops splashed on your cheeks and the rest did on your chest and ground.

Finally you were able to breathe without any obstruction, you supported your two hands on the ground and tried to regulate your breathing. You were tired, your jaw felt tense and your throat hurt, you tried to breathe through your mouth to not swallow his taste, your half-open mouth avoiding doing so began to salivate accumulating saliva on the edges of your mouth until you began to drool. You felt so dirty.

You closed your eyes again when you felt that Gyutaro took you by the chin regardless of getting wet with your saliva so that you could see him directly in the eyes again.

"Yeah...that's how I like to see you. Good girl." Was it a congratulations or another mockery?

You didn't even want to speak, Gyutaro held out his hand in front of you and you honestly didn't know what to do but you put your palm on top of his, he took your hand and helped you stand up. You didn't expect it but it helped, your legs were tingling and feeling weak from the position you had been in all this time. Gyutaro took you and let your chin and face rest on his shoulder, it wasn't a hug, he just wrapped his muscled arms around your waist and helped steady you as the nausea slowly subsided.

Gyutaro's hands slid gently over your body, caressing your arms, your back and your waist until reaching your butt where he lifted your skirt and began to touch your ass. He massaged your butt and then brought his fingers under your panties to touch you only to his surprise that you were wet.

"Don't go to sleep...remember I had many things on my mind?" He said, sinking his fingers into your wet folds. Gyutaro walked until he made you fall on the mattress, crawled on top of you in the middle of your spread legs and gave you a wicked smile as he lifted your skirt. "You already tasted me, it's only fair that I do it now, isn't it?"

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You were sitting on Gyutaro's bed, you were thinking about a lot of things right now but mostly about him. You were upset with him. He told you that he was going to a party tonight with some guys from the university who he doesn't consider his friends but are still a bit close to each other, there was no problem for you until he told you that you should accompany him; parties and stuff weren't your thing and especially when it was too late and involved alcohol and stuff; besides, you didn't want to get in trouble with people from the university.

That had already happened to you once, when you and Gyutaro were starting your relationship, actually, it was that night when you...

But this time you wouldn't let him tell you what to do, it was too late and you were already tired so don't You said nothing to him and you left there to go back to your apartment but when you were about to enter you realized that the keys were not in your bag because Gyutaro had taken them again, forcing you to go to his apartment tonight.

You had nothing else to do when you went to his apartment, so you just changed your clothes to feel more comfortable and stayed in his bed.

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The door to the room was almost flung open and Gyutaro walked in behind it, with that frown you were used to. You knew he was angry but that didn't scare you like it did a couple of years ago when you met him.

"Throwing your damn tantrums again, aren't you?" he asked, taking off his jacket and looking into your eyes.

"You know I don't like that kind of thing." You answered him, seriously.

Gyutaro walked towards you hurriedly and irritably, when he was close enough to you he grabbed your cheeks with one hand to squeeze them and make you look into his eyes abruptly.

"And who said you could leave? You're mine, and that means you have to be where I am, always." His breath smelled of tobacco, he had been smoking, and a faint scent of alcohol also left his lips. He had been drinking but not enough to get drunk.

"Stop being so selfish! I've told you a thousand times that I hate going to that shit and yet you keep making me go!"

You let go of Gyutaro's grip, the force and how he grabbed you made you irritated and that triggered his bad mood too so he took your hands and you two began to struggle.

"Don't raise your voice to me, you little bitch, you should be thankful that I at least thought about you…" He said, holding your wrists in his hands to control you.

"Don't touch me! Give me my keys, I'm out of here!"

"Dammit! STOP MOVING!" He yelled at you. "I go to the fucking trouble of involving you in my shit so you don't whine that I don't care but you still decide to act like a bitch and walk away!? DON'T BUG ME!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME! In the first place, I never asked you to go to that fucking party, let alone with all those idiots! You spent the whole night with those bastards and you left me alone at a table like a fool!"

"FINE! Forget dating me then! Eat shit by yourself if that's what you want! But don't you dare even claim me!"

"Don't make me look like the villain! You're doing this on purpose right? You think I haven't noticed that you're always looking for a way to piss me off!? FUCKING MY DAMN EXISTENCE!? I'M SICK! SICK OF YOUR-"

No you were able to finish speaking, Gyutaro continued to struggle with you until your wall collided with the nearest wall causing you to get a little scared, thinking you were going to fall. He took advantage of your imbalance to rudely stamp his lips against yours. He took your face and pushed away your fool attempts to push him away with his hands, holding you in his strong arms. It wasn't a soft or tender kiss, it was rough and intrusive, he even dared to bite your lips to make you moan and open your mouth to introduce his tongue. You were upset with him but the pressure between your legs overcame you, again, making you give up and wrap your arms around his neck to continue the kiss and make it more passionate.

It was always like this, you two argued very often and most of the time all these fights ended up in bed, was it some kind of reconciliation to the point perhaps? No idea, but no matter how angry you were with him you always ended up at his feet. Gyutaro began to put his hands under your shirt to remove it completely as he walked to the bed and push you onto the mattress to get on top of you and continue undressing while he himself got rid of his clothes as well.

"See how cute you are when you shut up and stop being a annoying bitch?" He said, teasing you and groping you to embarrass you in front of him. "You're much better like this... take care of closing your mouth and opening your legs."

Gyutaro flipped you over on the bed to give you a hard spanking before roughly pulling your panties down and throwing them somewhere in the room, he positioned himself on top of you and began rubbing his hard dick all over you while speaking in your ear.

"You've been such a bitch today...you made me very angry, but you never refuse me to fuck you for a while...I'm not sure if I should punish you or reward you for being a good slut, what do you think?" He spanked you again.

"I-I, I don't know…just do what you want with me…you always do, don't you? J-just…fuck me and use me however you want."

"You don't even care what I do with you!?" Gyutaro laughed. "It's your cunt that's at stake! Don't you care at all what I do with it?"

"N-no I...I don't know just, just do it Gyutaro! You made me horny so I just want to feel you."

"You're so pathetic, but I love that you're that slutty! Could you be more of a needy whore and less of an irritating bitch, cutie?"

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You had only been dating Gyutaro for 6 months when he took you to a party you didn't want to go to, a fight in his room that ended in a night of sex. You two had sex very often but it was never like that night, that night was different, so different that it made everything inside you spin as if your stomach was the jar where all those butterflies slept and Gyutaro had shaken it hard. It was that night when you fell in love with him...

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Tonight made you remember that specific night, you tried to remember all those feelings while Gyutaro fucked you.

That night Gyutaro drank too much, he was too drunk to walk on his own, much less ride his motorcycle back to his house with you. A tall blond with thick eyebrows went to the trouble of dropping you and Gyutaro off at his house and keeping his motorcycle at his house while Gyutaro could go pick it up. You put an arm around him behind his back and put his other arm over your shoulders trying to help him walk with all your might since Gyutaro was a very tall and heavy boy for you. Those seconds felt like hours until you finally managed to get him on the bed.

You thought if you should go home or stay with him, Ume would spend the night with some friends so if he needed something he wouldn't have anyone's help. It bothered you to see him so fucking drunk laughing and talking incoherently but something inside you didn't want to just leave him here to his fate in such a weak state so after rethinking it for a few minutes, you decided to stay with him tonight. You'd come up with an excuse later.

You took off your shoes to be more comfortable and went to the bathroom to wash your face to remove the makeup you were wearing. You returned to the room and saw that Gyutaro was awkwardly trying to get up without being able to do it so you went with him to make him stay down.

"Don't get up, the best thing for now is that you sleep...okay?" Your tone of voice was comforting, your priority now was for Gyutaro to fall asleep but you saw the clothes he was wearing and they didn't look very comfortable. He was wearing black combat boots, ripped jeans and a black hoodie and his hair was messier than usual so you had to do something for him. You went to his closet and pulled out an oversized t-shirt and baggy shorts, then went back to him and tried to change it so he could sleep better.

Gyutaro was lying on the bed on his back facing the ceiling so it wouldn't be that hard to change his clothes right? You climbed on the bed to sit next to him and take the edge of his sweatshirt to pull it up and carefully remove his arms but he moved a lot, you tried again and trying to lift his head you managed to remove the first one garment; his shirt was easier to remove but you had to unbutton his jeans because it was tucked into them. Now that you think about it you could have left him the same shirt and it made you feel silly but on the other hand that shirt was sweaty and dirty. You almost forgot about his shoes, you walked to his feet to untie his boots and take them off when he nearly made your heart jump out of your mouth in shock as he suddenly sat up.

You stood still, attentive to his reaction as you both stared into each other's eyes. You mentally cursed yourself for not putting a shirt on him yet because the look he was giving you wasn't right when added to his bare chest. A small silence filled the room until he was the first to speak.

"Why are you undressing me?"

"W-what?"

"Why are you stripping me naked? Were you thinking of taking advantage of me now, dirty girl?" he asked, his voice gruff and laughing like this was the funniest thing.

"No! O-of course not! I was just trying to-"

"You know you can do that without taking advantage of me being drunk, you know that right?...that means you like what we do even if you pretend otherwise. .." You didn't say anything, you just continued to untie his boots.

"I was just trying to change your clothes...the best thing for you now is that you sleep but you can't do it in these uncomfortable clothes." You didn't look at him, you continued doing your thing but he was silent.

Were you seriously doing this to help him? Didn't you have any other intention with him? Wouldn't you take advantage of his weakness at this moment to take revenge for everything he has done to you? He couldn't understand it, maybe it was because of his drunken state but you had left Gyutaro completely confused... and he liked that.

"Get up." He ordered you. He took off his shoes by his own and pulled your arm up to stand up.

Gyutaro pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close to his chest and leaving you between his legs while he looked into your eyes. No one said anything, he just tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear and watched your face as if there was nothing else in the room but you. You let your hands rest on his shoulders and seeing how he shortened the distance between the two of you, you did nothing more than slowly close your eyes and you felt your lips on his. The kiss was different from all the ones you had experienced with him, it was slow, unhurried and soft; as if he wanted to get to know you more through it and make the minutes by your side eternal.

The moment you felt Gyutaro's hands traveling down your back under your clothes, you felt a warm sensation welling up from your chest that spread throughout your body, you climbed on top of him and sat on his lap hugging his hips with your legs without finishing the kiss. Gyutaro's physical weakness caused his back to fall on the bed and you remained sitting on him while he continued to kiss you. You knew what this would lead to so you let Gyutaro get rid of each of your clothes until you were left only in your underwear. Gyutaro decided it was time to go further, so changing position with you, he was on top of you, cornering you in his arms on the bed after getting rid of his jeans. His arms were strong and warm, in their midst you felt safe for the first time despite finding yourself in such a vulnerable moment where he could do whatever he wanted with you. Gyutaro's lips kissed yours over and over again without losing the sweetness of a while ago, he continued licking your neck and panting in your ear, marking your collarbones with hickeys and recording your aroma on his head while his hands massaged any part of your body they had the honor of touching. You closed your eyes and you were so immersed in this moment that you didn't notice when he took off your bra a while ago and now he was pulling your panties down and tossing them away.

Gyutaro contemplated your naked and fragile body under him between his legs as if you were one of the Wonders of the World, his plans to do many things with you today were still on but with a different and new twist for you. He couldn't wait any longer, he adhered to you burying his face between your neck and your shoulder to lick and mark you while taking your waist with one hand and leaving the best for the other. You flexed your knees so that he was better positioned on top of you and you almost screamed when you felt what he began to do. His index and middle fingers slid right in the middle of your wet slippery folds, rubbing up and down opening your labia to reveal your clit making you gasp. His fingers went up and down your slit, slowly introducing himself inside you, making you wet with more with each passing second. His movements were daring, however they continued to be slow and sensual, making you enjoy every touch inside your vagina, making you start to move your hips so that little by little he would slide his fingers inside your walls and reach your tight hole.

Wet sounds began to be heard as Gyutaro moved his fingers inside you, getting wet and slipping with your juices. You felt so hot, your nipples hardened and you began to moan wanting to feel more of him but suddenly you felt empty. You looked down and saw Gyutaro taking off his boxers to go to the next level. He took your hips with both hands wetting you a little with his fingers that he had inside you and began to rub his hard member between your folds, kneading your small and sore clit with him while he dedicated himself to kissing you again. His tongue went down to your neck and then to your breasts where he licked and sucked on your nipples to stimulate you even more, it drove you crazy to feel his length go over your folds. You felt like you couldn't wait any longer.

"A-Ah Gyutaro...I can't, I need to feel you...I want you inside me." You confessed, he looked at you, his look was a little lazy because of the alcohol.

He didn't say anything, he just clung to your hips and took the base of his cock to line up at your entrance and start giving little thrusts and strokes to your pussy until he was finally able to slide inside of you making you arch your back and moan his name in response to giving you that delicious feeling as you spread your legs wider for him.

You were so wet and open for him, it was hard even for yourself to recognize you at this moment. The first time you had sex with him you were so disgusted and scared but now your shame was gone and all you wanted was to be one with him tonight. Gyutaro's thrusts became so intense that he had to put your knees on his shoulders to fuck you properly.

"F-fuck babe-ah, how well you squeeze me aa-ah! Your little pussy squeezes me too good…fucking good.” Gyutaro moaned, picking up speed.

Your hands clung to Gyutaro's back as you felt how each of his thrusts was firmer than the last, the wet sounds increased in the room and you could clearly hear the bed springs rattling beneath you. Your body was shaking and sweating, you could feel every part of you getting wet and dripping with sweat just like Gyutaro. The atmosphere turned hot and the smell of alcohol that came from Gyutaro had stuck to the bottom of your nose. You swore you could feel Gyutaro's dick harden inside you and maybe you were right.

"A-aah! I'm gonna cum girl, I'm gonna cum, fucking cum right now babe."

Gyutaro hadn't finished speaking when you felt a warm sensation coming from a strong discharge inside you, he had cum but he kept moving even after his orgasm to overstimulate you and make you follow him soon. Gyutaro's orgasm gave you a unique feeling. Your pussy and the whole area between your legs felt so hot and wet not only from his fluids but also from sweat, it was a huge discharge so as he continued to move his seed began to seep through your folds forming a white ring around his cock even spilling out of you, you could feel it sticky and thick sliding down each of your vagina folds, making you feel slippery and soaking wet as you felt thick drops running down your thighs. That just made you imagine the mess below the two of you and a few minutes later, your wide open cunt pumped Gyutaro's dick tight as you cum on him too.

Your breaths were rough and after a few minutes you two both stopped moving. Gyutaro looked you straight in the eyes and was delighted to see that innocent blush on your face, he came closer to you and hugged you after returning your knees to their normal position. He cradled you in his arms and kissed your shoulders and chest while you stroked your fingers through his hair.

"Fuck, girl...i'm really in love with you...believe me."

That night, that night was unique because you hadn't just had sex with Gyutaro as usual. His drunkenness made him act differently and allow himself to open up properly to you and thanks to that, you experienced making love to Gyutaro for the first time.

No bribes.

No blackmail.

Without expecting something in return.

And that's where you realized that you were beginning to feel things for him too.

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You were face up on his bed, staring at the ceiling, naked under the sheets just like him. You looked to your left and watched as he now turned his back on you. You couldn't help but feel a lump in your throat for some reason, many things have happened since you met him but for some reason you felt more and more attached to him. You had had just sex now but something inside of you told you that he was still mad at you, that used to happen sometimes. You two would get angry, argue and in the middle of the fight he would kiss you to get some sex no matter if it was short or long but then he still didn't talk to you.

You turned around and put your arm around his back, getting closer to him and thus find out if he was still awake, you put your cheek against his back and you felt his slow breathing, you also heard his heartbeat. You sighed with some nostalgia and left a short kiss on his spine as you turned away from him also to sleep.

You still couldn't get to sleep well and as you did, a tear slipped from the bridge of your nose onto the pillow. He told you that time that he loved you, is he still doing it? That damn question gave you sleeplessness every night but you couldn't put it down, not now, not when you were deeply in love with every part of him.

A heavy sensation settled on your waist under the sheets getting closer to him to continue feeling your naked curves, you looked behind you out of the corner of your eye and saw how Gyutaro was sleeping peacefully, but still wanting you closer to him.

I am very sorry for my absence, I hope that this fic attempt makes up for my lack of activity. Btw, how are you? I'm fine, except that I just had the worst mistake of my life, can you guess? That's right, I think I have butterflies in my stomach for a guy...a real guy lmao 🥲 i wanna die lol

#gyutaro x reader #gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro smut #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer smut #kny smut #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer

[pedritapascal]

A good Agent, or a Good Fucker... to me

Chapter five - Decisions, decisions…

Pedro Pascal's character - Dave York - [DY] The Protector 2 / Equalizer 2

Dave York x Female Reader

Word Count: 5K

WARNINGS: {+18} Sex Language; SA; Fingers; Tongue; Nudity; Explicit Details;

A good Agent, or a Good Fucker... to me

I woke up with the sound of the alarm on my cell phone, looked at the time… 06AM… I was waking up at the time I was used to sleeping, because the time zone in Holland was still messing me up. Even after a week here, I still couldn't get my sleep schedule in order.

The first week was getting to know the team handling the case and my new partner, Matthew Guerrit, who was only 3 years older than me, but had extensive experience in the US police and FBI, in the CIA he already had 5 years, and had been transferred to the Netherlands for 2 years. Always with a smile on his face, kind and not at all paranoid, a huge contrast to my old partner… The agency here was much smaller, with few people, there was Agent Lucas Raymond, Agent Jacob Dirk and Agent Brigitta Simon, who - as she said herself - liked to be called Brigg and thanked the heavens when I arrived at the agency and she was no longer the only woman here.

This was my new team, because unlike in the US, here we didn't only work in pairs, only when there was a need or in smaller cases, big cases like the one I was in, a whole team was responsible, and when I heard that, it was my turn to thank the heavens.

In a week here, I spoke to Dave three times, and on the day I left, he called me while I was at the airport to say goodbye and wish me luck.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there at the airport running and trying to stop you from traveling, I thought it was too cliché and I know how much you hate romantic comedies… and I also understand that you need to go… But I wish you all the best in this new phase of yours, and I hope you solve this case soon, so that maybe you can come back to me… to our case… in the case. Good luck"

And the other two times, he asked about the case, if I knew where any documents were or if I remembered anything relevant.

Apparently, during the week that I was away, the case slowed down, even with the arrest in Ohio, we didn't get any leads to follow up and get to Richard Bayle… but now that was no longer my problem. I had to focus on my new case, with my new partner and a new team.

The case here was about attacks, there was a terrorist and extremist cell that had been causing explosions in specific places all over Europe, and the US's concern about this? Simple, they didn't want these attacks to reach them, and of course, fucking NATO, which was charging the US for its collective defense regime.

I got to the office around 7:30 in the morning, slept badly, slept little, my mood was garbage, my head was exploding…

"Good morning Rookie, what a terrible face, still sleeping badly because of the time difference?" - Matthew asked

I just nodded as I massaged one of my temples…

"Here, see if this helps" - handing me a double espresso - "I also took a while to get used to the time zone, almost three months of bad nights, do you know what helped me?"

"Matthew, if you make any unfunny jokes I swear I'll shoot you…" He laughed

"No Rookie, biritas" - still laughing - "take a day to drink with us, Brigg would love to have you with us so you don't feel so out of place…"

"It's not a bad idea, but when I leave here all I want is my bed, I swear I'm not that boring, I'm just really tired" - yawning…

"Tell you what, we've got a game here, and I think it's about time you joined in, you're already part of the team…"

"Game? Matthew, I want you to know that I always won my fraternity's games in college and I don't accept losing, I'm even a terrible loser."

"Then that's all the more reason for you to take part" - Matthew said, taking a seat on the edge of my desk.

"Good morniiiiiing" - Brigg had just entered the office, always smiling, I never understood why she was in such a good mood, but she made the atmosphere light, and it was a good feeling…

"Hey Brigg, I'm talking here, put the Rookie in our game? What do you think? She says she's very competitive…"

"Good Rookie, you'll love it, and that's our way of saying, WELCOME TO THE TEAM" - Brigg said laughing…

"Ok Ok, I'm already curious" - I put the rest of the coffee on the table - "how does this work?"

"Simple" - said Matthew - "until the end of the week, the agent who manages to gather the most leads on the case gets a night of drinks paid for by the losing agents, plus bragging rights, of course, and" - he tapped the table in suspense - "gets an extra weekend off…" I get up and reach for some case files…

"So get your wallets ready, because on Friday the Rookie here will be drinking on your tab" - laughing

I sat down at my desk to get back to the case, Lucas and Jacob arrived and caught up on the game.

In those hours when I was concentrating on being part of the team, I didn't even remember him, and I didn't question whether I had done the right thing or not, but every time I remembered him, my chest burned.

"Hey Rookie" I heard a finger snap in front of me, and I snapped back to reality…

"Is everything okay?" Matthew asked - "You're more airy than usual…"

"Everything's fine, Agent, I was just thinking about some things in the US…"

"Are you missing it?"

"That's the problem, I don't know if what I'm missing is what I'm missing" - getting up to get other files.

"If you want to talk, Rookie, we'll have a coffee and you can get it off your chest…"

"No no, I don't talk about my personal life at work, Agent" - returning to my desk, I smiled at the irony of my sentence, I don't talk about my personal life at work but a few days ago, my personal life was in Dave's lap… I felt hypocritical for a moment, but new place, new life, right?

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

Friday came and with it the end of the week's competition, and I was disgusted because Jacob had won by one more lane than me, it was unacceptable.

"Jacob stole that I know" - I grumbled

"Take it Rookie, and get ready, because I only drink drinks over 30 euros a shot…"

We left the office laughing and complaining about the amounts Jacob wanted to spend, getting into the elevator, I had forgotten how good it was to laugh and have fun with coworkers, even before Dave, I went out very few times, always very focused on what I wanted, who would have thought that I would only last a few months in the corporation in the USA…

Whenever I thought about it, or thought of Dave, my head flew, Dave hadn't texted me for days, and I didn't know whether to be grateful for that, or to miss him, he still confused me…

"Rookie"

I felt a tap on my shoulder bringing me back, it was Matthew, again…

"Shall we?" He was standing there holding the door of the elevator that I hadn't even seen reach the first floor

It was the first time I'd accompanied my team to this pub, I didn't even know it existed, let alone that it was at the back of the agency, pool tables, dartboards, people smoking, classic 80s rock playing in the background, wooden tables and high chairs, a dance floor with a few lights. I think I've finally found my place in this city…

They went straight to a table at the back, I just followed them, apparently it was their official table, I settled into one of the chairs and the waiter brought us each a shot of rum… it was going to be a fun night and I was really excited.

After 8 shots, Lucas got up to the jukebox and put on a classic from the 90s, one of my favorite songs, Even Flow by PEARL JAM… I felt Brigg taking me by the hand

"Let's dance, Rookie."

"But you can't dance to that song, Brigg" - I laughed a little, but followed her onto the dance floor, still holding my long neck of beer that I was mixing with the shots of rum.

"We just swing Rookie, and feel the music."

I wrapped one of my arms around Briggs' neck and the two of us sang along to my favorite song like two drunks, jumping on the guitar riffs and bobbing our heads like two teenagers, laughing…

"Wow, I don't think I've ever had this much fun, I thought it was a mistake, but it wasn't, I did the right thing…"

"What mistake, Rookie? What are you talking about? You've got me curious."

"Nothing, Brigg, it's just me, you wouldn't understand." She shrugged.

The song ended and I went back to the table, fixing my hair and clothes, I was sweating a bit, even more so because of the warm clothes I was wearing, my cheeks flushed. Matthew came up to me with another beer.

"Enjoying Rookie?"

"Very much Matthew, thank you for letting me in on this" - opening the beer

"I saw you needed a distraction, sometimes you get lost in your thoughts."

"Nothing much, just some unfinished business that I've left behind and I'm worried about whether it's going to be okay."

"Some issues with work, or with someone?"

"Work Matthew, I always work" - drinking beer.

"You didn't leave anyone behind?"

My eyes grew distant for a moment, I took another sip of beer "No" I replied dryly.

"Then that's good because…"

I signaled for him to wait a minute because my phone was ringing, I stood up, moving away from the table and the noise a little, my eyes were blurring because of the alcohol, it couldn't be him, was I already drunk? It's not possible…

"Ready?"

"Rookie?"

"Dave?" - my body shivered at his voice

"What's that noise, where are you?"

"What do you need Dave?"

"Now to know where you are? Isn't it 3 a.m. in Holland?"

"If you don't tell me what you need, I'll hang up and go back to what I was doing…"

"Actually, I need your eidetic memory, but I guess that's impossible now, isn't it?"

"Can it be tomorrow? I'm really busy right now…"

Dave took a deep breath on the other end of the line - I could even imagine him smoothing his forehead…

"Sure, sure…"

"Good evening, Dave…"

"Princess?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds when I heard his voice calling me princess after so long…

"Dave," I said, my voice breaking.

"I miss you…"

"Good night Dave" - and I hung up

I took a deep breath, scratched my head…

I went back to the table and announced that I was leaving…

"No, Rookie, it's early, we'll be here until the morning," said Lucas.

"I'm falling asleep, guys, I want to see you hold out at the office tomorrow."

"Not me" - said Jacob, stretching - "I'm off, I'm going sleep all day."

"I still think you stole it Jacob, I just don't have any way of proving it yet" - laughing as I grabbed my bag and threw my suit on my back.

"I'll drive you Rookie" - Matthew offered

"No need, I've already called an Uber, it's coming, don't bother, just take Briggs" - pointing to the dance floor where she was jumping around to some music - "This soul needs to be guided home…" I went to the dance floor

"Bye Briggs" - waving my hand

"ROOKIE" - she hugged me, I wanted to say it apparently, but she was really drunk - "I'm so, so happy you came to the agency, for more female agents like us…. YAY FOR US WOMEN UHUUL" - Raising her arm

I laughed at the situation and at how drunk she was and got into the mood, raised an arm and shouted YAY.

My Uber beeped and I ran out of there, I wanted my bed. … I got home and just took off my clothes and put on a baggy blouse, threw myself on the bed with my cell phone in my hand, stood there looking at the screen, thinking about his phone call…

"I miss you too Dave"

I sent it as a message… honestly, I think drunks should have their cell phones blocked to avoid this kind of embarrassment, but now it was gone… yes, I regretted it the second I sent it…

Not three minutes later, my cell phone vibrated in response.

"Where are you?"

"You don't care Dave, you're not my fucking owner…"

"I didn't ask, idiot, I wanted to see you, that's all…"

"You're an idiot, you asshole, I'm at home, in my bed… going to sleep"

"Do you really miss me, princess?"

"After that little chat, it's all over… I've just remembered what an asshole you are… good night '

I locked the phone screen and tossed it aside, my head spinning, I didn't need to drink the last two shots…

My phone started ringing.

VIDEO CALL

Maybe it would have been better not to answer it, but I wanted to see him so badly, I sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard, with just the light of the lamp, rubbed my face with both hands to try to make it better and answered it.

"Hi Dave…"

"Wow, what's with the face?" - he laughed

"I'm fucking drunk, nobody looks good like that, asshole"

Dave was shirtless, leaning against his sofa…

"You look beautiful" - he smiled in a corner

"Aff, stop, what do you want? I can't remember anything about the case right now Dave… my brain is soaked with alcohol and…"

"I want you" - Dave interrupted me, and I blushed at his blunt answer, cleared my throat…

"So, what about the case? Did it go ahead? Have you been given a new partner?" - I tried to deflect

"It hasn't, that's why I need your help, but tomorrow, and yes, they've sent me a new partner, it's strange, but you're getting used to it, the only sad thing is that you're much hotter…" - he smiled

I put my hand to my face with my head back and turned around, smiling…

"Dave, I… you… we're over 7,000 km away and…"

Dave threw his body forward, his elbows probably resting on his knees, still sitting on the sofa, his cell phone down, giving me the impression that he was looking up at me…

"FUCK DAVE", I thought and bit my lower lip…

"Are you trying to seduce me Agent York?" - I asked, smiling

"Never, why? Are you feeling seduced agent?"

I ran my hand over my red face, biting my lip… looking at Dave through that screen, that neck, that mouth that he always bit the corner of…

"Maybe…"

"Princess, will you take your shirt off for me?"

I was miles away from him, but I still surrendered just looking at him. I threw my cell phone on the bed and took off my shirt, then returned with the screen while I leaned more heavily on the headboard, but without showing anything, he could only see up my crossed arm in front of my breasts…

"Let me see you princess…"

I shook my head no, biting my lip - " hum hum…"

"You want me to beg, don't you?"

I shook my head yes - "hunrum"

Dave took a deep breath, biting his lips, and moved a little closer to the screen…

"Please" - he whispered

"No…"

"I need to see you…"

"No…"

Dave drew in a deep breath and let it out

"Princess… please, let me see you" - he smiled - "I really need to see you…"

I lowered the cell phone screen a little more, taking my arm away, Dave mumbled something I didn't hear, but it sounded PERFECT…

I moved my hand down to my breasts, squeezed one of them from bottom to top and let out a low moan. Dave snorted on the other end of the line as he watched me. I squeezed and lightly pinched the nipple as I ran my tongue over my lips

"That's it princess, do them like I do" - Dave leaned back on the sofa with his arm outstretched, filming himself sitting up from the bottom, he was wearing those gray shorts from his gym days, I saw his other hand stroking his erection over his clothes and heard him moan low - "You drive me crazy princess" - He gasped

"What do you want Dave, ask me…"

He drew air between his lips

"I want to see you completely, take off your panties"

"This one?" - I had already taken them off and showed them to him

"Good girl, now come down so I can see all of you"

" Hum hum, and I'm not going to see you? That's no good"

"But you're already seeing me" - he smiled dully

"Not the part I want…"

Dave threw his head back and ran his hand over his flushed face

" Fuck, princess, look what you're making me do" - with a red face

"You started it, now you want to stop? No sir Agent York, you can take those shorts off for me"

Dave laughed with his head down, and his image shook as he took off his shorts as I asked…

"Okay Princess" - turning the camera back to the previous angle where I could see him from below, in his black boxer shorts, I thought about telling him to take them off, but the view was so perfect, I pretended I'd forgotten to ask - Can I see you now? - He asked as he adjusted his cock in his underwear

I just stretched my arm up and slid the camera down so that he could see me, arched my legs up a little and positioned the camera in front of me, still holding the phone, but in a way that he could see me. Dave moaned lowly as he squeezed his erection harder over his underwear

I wet the tips of two fingers and ran them down my body " That's it, princess, let me see you touching yourself, will you?"

When I get to my entrance and feel them rubbing against my clit, I let out a louder moan, and automatically close my legs a little, start massaging it, putting pressure on it with my two fingers, go down wetting them on myself and press my clit again, on the other side, I hear Dave moaning, he's pulling his erection down and up over his underwear until he lowers it a little, holding his cock at the base and squeezing it lightly, just looking at him like that made my legs shake. The head of his cock was already wet with pre-cum…

"That's it princess, moan for me"

My moans became louder but still muffled, Dave began to touch himself faster as he moaned, his hand with the phone was shaking a little, but nothing that disturbed my vision. I kept circling my clit while Dave moaned at me

"Dave, I'm so close"

"Come to me, come princess…"

He whispered to me as I touched my right spot, riding my own hand. Hearing Dave York moaning my name from the other side as he jerked off feeling my pleasure for him, my orgasm came like a strong wave and I could only moan louder as I slowed down my fingers trying to remember how to breathe, I opened my eyes in time to see Dave moaning letting his head fall back on the sofa, his hand slowing down, his chest rising and falling with his panting breaths as he came on his cock and growled his pleasure through his teeth, I salivated for him at that moment as I watched his cum drip down his fingers and onto his chest and belly with a few droplets of sweat that had accumulated. Dave looked at me, returning to his breathing, while I looked at him, biting my lips… I admired the sight for a few more seconds.

"Just a minute, princess" - Dave put his cell phone down somewhere, as I could only see the ceiling for a few moments, and came back quickly, just in time for me to see him wipe himself down - "How good can it be with you away?"

"I have no idea, Dave" - I shrugged and turned on my side with the phone closer to my face - "it really was great… but…"

"But it would be better with me there with you, wouldn't it?"

"No Dave, it's BUT I have to sleep, I have to be at the office tomorrow at eight, and it's already five in the morning… but it's always better when you're there… only you understand that…"

"Yes, princess" - Dave looked away - "I'll let you sleep, tomorrow I'll call you to help me with the case, okay?"

"Yes, but a normal call, no video"

Dave laughed

"Good night princess…"

"Good night Agent York…"

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Even though I'd only been asleep for almost two hours, I woke up in a great mood… as I got out of the shower and brushed my teeth with a towel on my body and another in my hair, I rubbed the mirror to remove the fog left by the smoke from the hot shower, looked at myself for a moment remembering last night and laughed, just letting a short laugh escape my chest… I rinsed my mouth and put my hand to my forehead, thinking… wasn't the idea to stay away from him? Okay, technically I am away, but… I needed some time to think… Anyway, I had to get to the office.

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I arrived a little late, but my team had just arrived…

"GOOD DAAAAAAY"

A SSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH echoed through the room on everyone's lips.

"No need to scream Rookie" - Brigg, still wearing sunglasses and holding his hand to his head

"I'm late because I've gone to buy coffee for all of us, double espresso" - placing the tray on the center table while they were already reaching for their cups.

In the mess of getting the coffees, Matthew ended up getting mine by mistake, and when he tasted it he grimaced

"Wow, what kind of coffee is that?" I saw that it had my name on it

"Hey my coffee" - picking it up for me

"How do you drink it, actually, what is it Rookie?" - Matthew asked laughing

"Shh, don't talk bad about my coffee, it's unsweetened, with milk and a pinch of cinnamon, a perfect combination"

I went back to my desk sipping my coffee, the day would be long, but in the afternoon, I would talk to him again, and that made me smile.

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As I was leaving the building's garage with the guys, Matthew insisted on taking me to the car, I really wanted to believe that he was just being nice.

"Rookie, I was wondering if you were free today, I don't know, to see a bit more of the country, go for a drive… I don't know" - Matthew asked with his hand on the open door of my car…

"Aaaan, who's going?"

"Me and you, I wanted to show you the city, you've only worked since you got here" - he looked away

"I can't today, I have an appointment"

"Very important?"

"Maybe, maybe not" - I got into the car - "See you on Monday Matthew" - I made a point of pulling the door shut and he got the message

"See you on Monday Rookie" - He stood there with his hands in his pockets while I started the car.

At home, I grabbed a coffee and sat down to read my book, which I hadn't been able to get to for three days, and waited for Dave's call. At around 7pm my phone rang with his call

"Ready"

"Rookie, what's up? I need to make this quick. Do you remember the arrest in Ohio?"

"Sure, what about it?"

"In the evidence we took, there was a list of the possible buyers of the women who were there, do you remember any names?"

"Of course I do, but why don't you just look at the list?"

"What names?" - Dave didn't answer

"Dave, is everything all right?"

"Rookie, I need as many names as you can think of, now."

"Write it down then, Aaron Delaney, Briella Wilson, Amatto Bianchi and Rizzo Zanetti"

" Fuck yeah, you're a genius princess, I need to go"

"Dave, what's going on?"

"I can't talk on the phone, I'll get back to you as soon as I can"

"Dave?"

He had already hung up, my heart squeezed, it wouldn't be a big deal would it? He's an experienced agent and very good in combat, and an impeccable marksman, he's never missed a shot from what they say, he's a tactical expert and always has his Beretta M9A1 - his suppression pistol - at his fingertips. I took a deep breath, he would be fine.

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Three weeks went by, I didn't speak to Dave, just a few messages that made us sure that they were both still alive, but this last week, he didn't give any sign and my mind was racing, I couldn't call US headquarters just to ask about him… I texted Maggs to ask for the news and she told me everything that was going on, except what I wanted to know, if he was okay, but I think that if something had happened, she would have told me, wouldn't she?

I had to be focused on the terrorist cell case, but as well as being worried, I was disgusted because I'd lost the clue competition to Matthew and Jacob, JACOB AGAIN, how he thought he was winning.

It was Friday again and the score was tight between me and Jacob, I didn't even go to lunch because by the time I left I was going to get something, I thought the competition was healthy, we had already managed to arrest some people, but mostly people who weren't relevant to getting to the focus of the cell.

Two more explosions had taken place, one in Holland and one in Germany. The point was that the cell could be worldwide, connected by the internet, so we could never predict where the next attack would be. I had been looking at the photos of the last two crime scenes for hours, my head was throbbing, there was something there, I could feel it.

I picked up the photo of the first attack to compare with the attack now and noticed a drawing near the center of the explosions, I ran to the table in the center of the room where the folders and photos were, and picked up all the crime scenes that had taken place, checking them one by one and Holy SHIT, I found it.

I lined up the photos in chronological order of the attacks, and went through them one by one to confirm that yes, they had a symbol, it was a waning moon cut in half.

"Guys, look what I found" - calling the team to the table, I passed around the photos and pointed.

"How did you spot that, Rookie? It's very imperceptible" - Brigg asked

"Don't ask me how my brain works, I just knew there was something I'd seen before, but I couldn't remember where, and it was in the photos. Now we just have to find out if this symbol is placed before or after, if it's before it's to mark the site of the attack, if it's after it's to assume that that explosion was their doing…"

"I'll give it to Sylas now and ask him to check the street cameras a few days before the explosion dates" - Matthew left with the evidence in hand, heading for Sylas' office.

I got up and headed for the team board, picking up the pilot to write on…

"Hey Jacob, looks like the Rookie here is going to bankrupt you today" - making my point

"Calm down Rookie, there's still half an hour to go, it could still turn…" "That smell" - sniffing the air - "I feel a smell of revolt in the air…"

Jacob just laughed. … We arrived at the pub as usual, I already knew everyone at the bar, the bartenders, and I went in saying

"Bartel, make that double drink for me because today THE ROOKIE HERE IS PARTYING"

"THE Rookie WON ONE LENNON" - Bartel shouted to the bartender at the back.

" Finally, Rookie" - Lennon smiled from the back.

We sat down at the table, Jacob looking terrible, and I made a little kiss to him, rubbing my eyes as if he was going to cry.

Matthew and Briggs laughed, and I had fun, I loved those moments when I could get him out of my head.

The night was great, we drank and danced on the dance floor, even Matthew dared to show off his dance moves, at the table Lucas was consoling his friend Jacob, I might not have known how to lose, but compared to Jacob? No way…

I was already pretty upset, and it was almost two in the morning when Briggs took me to the dance floor again, my feet were already hurting and I was only wearing the white tank top I was wearing under my dress shirt.

Briggs danced just two songs with me and went back to the table, and I stayed there dancing alone until I felt a hand grab me around the waist.

When I opened my eyes, it was Matthew who, seeing me alone on the dance floor, had come to join me. He started dancing with me, taking me by the hand and spinning me around, and I laughed

"This isn't a waltz Matthew"

His hand tightened around my waist and moved to my back, and he pulled me closer.

"Hey what are you doing Matthew?" - I asked a little harshly

"What I've been wanting to do for weeks and you pretend you don't understand" - he moved closer to me, trying to kiss me and I pulled away, he held my face, I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back.

"Matthew, NO"

When I turned to leave the dance floor, I couldn't believe what I saw, I was drunk, but not to the point of hallucinating, it couldn't be, Dave was standing in the middle of the bar, with his black overcoat and his hands on his hips looking at me with his face closed…

"Dave…" - I whispered

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The tag list (always in progress), please let me know if you want to be added or removed in my future fanfic posts.

@hannahkatharine @drewharrisonwriter @morallyinept @simp4nott @star017 @survivingandenduring @popcornforone @perotovar @untamedheart81 @missladym1981 @yorksgirl @welcometodrama @blondebarbiiemiinajlover-blog @labyrinthofheartagrams @perennialdoll247 @jensensational71 @mrspedropascal5683 @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @pedroswife69 @welcometodrama @pedropascalsgermangirl @paanchusblog @stevie75 @leosilke @friendswiththemonster78 @vivian-pascal

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Chapter Six - Connections

#dave york #equalizer 2 #fanfic #fanfic do personagem pedro pascal #joel miller #pedro pascal #pedrito #the mandaloria/reader #tlou #din djarin #dave york fanfiction #dave york smut #dave york x female reader #dave york x you #dave york x reader #pedro pascal characters #javier pena x you #javi gutierrez #javier pena #javier pena fic #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena smut #javier pena x reader #javier peña

[darth-nikeon]

Damon: so tell me what happened.

Elena: ok, but you can't get mad at us.

Damon: Elena, I could never be mad at you.

Caroline: Well we were minding our own business when-

Damon: BULLSHIT!

.

Klaus: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Caroline: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Klaus: Absolutely not.

.

Klaus: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Caroline : This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

.

Caroline: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Klaus: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Caroline: No! Four to five seconds!

Klaus: Too late!!!

.

Kol: I'm incredibly fast at math.

Elijah: Alright, what's 30x17?

Kol: 47

Elijah: That's not even close.

Kol: But it was fast.

.

Klaus: So that’s my plan.

Elijah: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Klaus: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Elijah: It fucking sucks.

Klaus: That’s not constructive criticism.

.

Jeremy, texting Bonnie: Bonnie! Help I’m being kidnapped

Jeremy: Where are you?

Jeremy: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Bonnie: I’ll call Elena.

Elena, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Bonnie: Where’s Jeremy? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.

Elena: Jeremy? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Elena:

Elena: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Elena: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Jeremy: WHO ARE YOU?!

.

Jeremy: Where are you going?

Damon: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

.

Jeremy: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Damon: Only if you also don't ask why

Damon: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Jeremy:

Damon:

Jeremy: This one is fine

.

Jeremy: Hey, Damon? Can I get some dating advice?

Damon: Just because I’m with Elena doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

.

Stefan: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Klaus: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Stefan: Yes!

Rebekah: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

.

Stefan: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Klaus: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Rebekah isn’t as mean

.

Stefan: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Klaus: Stop romanticizing the past

.

Stefan: What is your biggest weakness?

Damon: I can be uncooperative.

Stefan: Okay, can you give me an example?

Damon: No.

.

Stefan: Okay, truth or dare?

Damon: Truth

Stefan: How many hours have you slept this week?

Damon:

Damon: ...Dare

Stefan: Go to bed.

Damon: I don’t like this game

#I'm into the vampire diaries now #tvd #the vampire diaries #vampire diaries #team damon #i dont like Stefan #damon salvatore #caroline forbes #elena gilbert #jeremy gilbert #stefan salvatore #klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #bonnie bennett #incorrect quotes #incorrect tvd quotes #incorrect originals quotes #original incorrect quotes #vampires #vampire #werewolf #werewolves

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

@bootlegfrank tagged me and @septiccoffeefreak - who shares this post w me because we're writing partners >:3 (frank tagged us indirectly. and then directly because i responded saying i was gonna do it. so in-indirect-diretly(??))

Rules: list the first lines(s) of your last 10 fics and see if there's a pattern. I also said where each one is from in case u don't wanna scroll through our ao3 and do the math urself!!!

all these fics except one r RPF, sooo BE WARNED. i'm putting everything under da cut, and i'm also putting my reblog banner since fanfiction!!! is!!! art!!!

Seán’s about ready to burn his entire calendar.

from "Scheduling Conflicts and How To Cope - A Guide For The Busy Homosexual"

Tommy hates LA with every fiber of his being.

from "City Of Angels"

it's cold, and it hurts.

from "The Part Where it Gets Better (Lads rescue AU)", and also THIS SOUNDS SO WEIRD OUT OF CONTEXT LIKE WHAT'S COLD??? it's water. the water is cold. this is the character based one btw. WE FOUND IT, THE NON-RPF!!!

Tommy inspects Seán’s behelit tattoo carefully, running his thumb over it a little, then kisses it.

I fucking would. kissing all his tattoos right now. mwah. this goddamn MOOD is from "There's No Place Like Home"

Ethan N3st0r was not expecting Seán to still be awake at three AM, even though with jet lag considered, he really fuckin should have.

I censored the name for search but it's not like that in the fic, that's just for tumblr. anyway, from "Three Drabbles In Which Tommy and Seán are bad at Keeping Secrets"

Ethan's the one to bring it up first, on Brain Leak, of all things.

OPENING WITH ETHAN AGAIN LMAOO. this is from "And Suddenly, It Makes Sense."

"So, who would have thought, huh? T0mmy1nn1t and Jacks3pt1c3y3, famous YouTubers, passed away in their sleep on the same night."

censored for tumblr again. from "Count your Soulmates- There's only one."

Seán and Tommy have sleepovers sometimes.

from "kissing practice". very original opening line /sar /lh (also tbh i feel awful about em being evil in this one :( I know its fanfic and i can do whatever I want but like. idk. i'm not accusing em of being mean IRL okay??? OKAY))

Seán spends about fifteen minutes pacing and staring at himself in the mirror, doing breathing exercises his therapist taught him and trying not to rub or scratch his wrists too much.

from "Puppy Love", the closest we've ever gotten to full misce posting on main

They were gluing ducks to a jeep the first time it happened.

FROM "PETNAMES" AND ALSO THE BEST OPENING LINE EVER

INTERPRETATION TIME!!!!

soooo yeah!!! we like to jump right into action as well but I think it's safe to say our autistic ass habits of giving exposition for everything lead to the specific outcome of starting in the middle of a scene, WITH an explanation of the scene. like we're already in the middle of something going on but also sometimes it's exposition at the same time somehow?? or like right after these first lines. idk maybe that's just me????

the way it's usually less (character does this) and more (character does this BECAUSE ____ // character is doing this and FEELING ____) feels like it's trying to give context, to me. but again idk maybe just me

TIME FOR SEÁN'S READING:

@septiccoffeefreak - "What I'm noticing here is more along the lines of just, how we almost always seem to open with a person. Usually by their actual name(s) too and not just a pronoun. I understand what you mean, Tommy, but I don't personally get that vibe? You could totally be right, of course, I just don't pick up on that. I defenitely notice, though, just how many of these are sentences where the literal first word is a name. the two exceptions to that are the pronoun "they" (which is still a person- or two people actually), and then water.

I guess the dialogue could also be considered an exception, but I don't think it counts since it also directly references us as characters.

and that's not something you necessarily have to do. You could open describing scenery or objects, or with dialogue that DOESN'T have the names of the characters in it- you could open with wind through a blade of grass or a character cursing under their breath or someone's cellphone crashing to the pavement or something. So it's definitely an "us" thing, it's a quirk of our writing style and not just normal writing. I don't know if like, we ALWAYS do this, but I do know that in these ten fics you pulled we do. I wouldn't be surprised if we did it like literally all the time as well, but I'm not going to pretend to know every first line we've ever penned to paper. or...print?? I don't fucking know, here, I'm just analyzing sentences on the internet for a tagging project.

Sorry if this ramble is kind of long, I hope it's at least interesting though??? sort of interesting? kind of interesting, in it's own way, hopefully. at least mildly, like a video you didn't turn on but aren't really reaching for the mouse/remote on to change it. You know?? Yeah. Like that. Or more interesting then that, hopefully. Thanks for uh, reading or, whatever, listening if you have a screen reader i guess, I'm getting nervous and it's very obvious because i'm rambling so I'm gonna hand things back off to the birthday boy, Toms. wish Tommo a happy birthday or I swear to fucking god your liver will be missing in the morning and you'll find it at the bottom of your morning cup of coffee."

back to me:

LMAO

wow omg i love my babygirl,,,, that made me laugh >:p

ANYWAYS. i didn't notice that!! oh em gee,,,,, name moment.

YOU SHOULD DO THIS TOO AND SEE IF YOUUUU SEE ANYTHING!!!!!

I'M TAGGING @kalcifers-blog AND.... no one else because all my other mutuals who i know for a fact write have paused as far as i'm aware, bc they're into mcyt RPF like I am and the w1lbvr situation put them on hiatus. and i don't know if any of them are back to feeling up to writing stuff.

I don't write about w1bvr ever and didn't watch him so I wasn't that affected but a lot of people were even if they just watched so like... Kalcie ur alone on here i'm SO SORRIE. ALSO this is /nf so u don't have to if u dont want to :p :3 >:D :000 >:PPPP :000 >:00

#i made a textpost #tommy's og art wow #fanfic #rpf fanfiction #rpf #fanfic rpf #rpf fanfic #fanfiction rpf #tagging game #tag game #tag chain #writting pattern tag game #septicinnit #literally all of these RPF fics. are septicinnit

[yooniesim]

I REALLY don't want to come off as mean because I understand what it's like to struggle financially and the stress that puts you under, but I really really think it'd be for the best if you stopped using curseforge, Ceci.

Please do early access if you must! We get that it's not a matter of greed but rather a matter of survival, but please please use the means less damaging to others while keeping yourself healthy. Sims politics is nothing compared to a genocide. I hope you think about it, and I hope you can meditate on this choice. My thoughts are with you and your family 💜

Thank you for this kind comment, nonny! 💜

Honestly, I have considered it. Having a paywall is the last thing I want to do, but after living under this much financial strain for around a year now... well, it's weighing on me. As is using curseforge in the first place. I'll be honest- this month, I'll get $50 from cf. For the whole month. Sometimes it's more if I have points leftover from the previous month (so like $100 in one month), but usually that's the average. Having to use it for such (relatively) little money and dealing with the guilt of using it and the hate that results is pretty damn tough, I'll tell you that much. Like, curseforge fucking sucks and even beyond the boycott I resent the hell out of it at this point. I literally hate it and want to delete it so bad but it's the reason I was even able to even buy my meds this month. I've been working on making my patreon have better benefits without having an actual paywall, and some amazing people have kindly donated, but the amount per month varies so much it's tough to rely on. I'm really getting to be at a loss of what to do at this point. I've been exploring every other possible avenue of extra money I can that fits with my current job schedule, I do other freelance work online on top of that and cc making, and sell any stuff I have left from my collecting days. But I'm still in the red every month and it fucking sucks man. And then to come on here and have people say you love/support genocide, while researching and finding out even more about how Overwolf fucking sucks and trying to figure out how to help the boycott, then people just straight up lie about what you said so others will gossip about you publicly like middle schoolers- it's seriously awful all around. Sorry to vent at you nonny, but it's honestly depressing.

I'm on the verge of just saying fuck it, but the truth is, I'm scared to. The bottom line is that I can't function without my meds, and no one here on tumblr is gonna be with me irl to help me or pick my ass up, you know what I mean? When I log off here, simblr doesn't matter, I'm the one that deals with my own life and any negatives of that. And no matter what I do online or irl activism wise, I have this shit haunting me in the back of my mind. It feels like selling your damn soul for 50 fucking dollars, man. And how pathetic is that, you know? I guess it probably sounds like a simple choice to everyone else, but it isn't. I'm still deciding what to do and hoping, praying, that a few opportunities I'm trying to get irl yield some results. Cos like, even with CF, I'm kinda screwed either way at this point lol. I don't know. What does it even matter, right? I'll consider the early access option, but it's more probable I just quit CF and not do any paywall/CC making in general before that happens. I think if I did early access all my want to be a cc creator would suck out of my body even more than it is now. And boy has it fucking waned ever since I started posting on CF. I don't know. It's literally midnight and I think I need to sleep on it- I was supposed to already be asleep, but I saw your ask and had to answer it, oops. Sorry to ramble, nonny. Thanks again for the ask and being understanding 💜

#asks #ceci speaks #anonymous #negative #on my part not yours #highkey depressing sorry lol #hopefully ill have a better plan tomorrow/the next few days

[shelbystales]

Honor and Blood - Part Eleven

Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Read previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

Summary: you are a gypsy and your family lives near Birmingham. Tommy Shelby needs a favor and Johnny Dogs says you’re the one he should ask for. A meeting is scheduled and when Tommy meets you, he is instantly drawn to you.

Warning: Swearing, smut

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You woke up with a sliver of light on your face.

Opening your eyes slowly, you saw that you were in Johnathan's hotel room. He slept peacefully beside you, completely naked with only a bit of the blanket covering his cock. Moving slowly on the bed, trying not to wake him up, you sat up wrapping your naked body in the blue sheets.

"Good morning" you heard him say in a sleepy husky voice as he stretched.

"Hey" you smiled and stood up walking over your pile of clothes on the floor.

He arranged the pillow behind his head so he was now half-sitting. Following you with his eyes, he asked "did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," you nodded, tucking in the sleeves of your dress, "did you?"

"Hell yes," he replied smiling. You smiled back and went to the bathroom to wash your face.

In the bedroom, he got out of bed and put on his pants. He walked up to you, stopping at the bathroom door he asked "want to go out for coffee?"

"Sure," you said muffled as you dried your face on the towel "there's a delicious bakery close by"

He smiled and nodded "well we can discuss the contract there" you nodded and dodged past him as you walked through the bathroom door into the bedroom. "Listen, y/n..." you stopped walking and looked at him "I don't want it to get awkward between the two of us, ok? I mean, yesterday was... fuck, yesterday was really good. but I'm not interested in a relationship for now. I just think I'd better make that clear. This is just a casual thing" he said scratching his head clearly nervous and you nodded

"Yeah, don't worry. I can do casual" you winked "I'll be waiting for you downstairs in the lobby. ok?" you smiled and he nodded.

While waiting in the lobby, you felt good. You were afraid you'd wake up regretting what you'd done, but no... you were feeling really good.

However, some facts from last night still bothered you, the main one being that you couldn't get there with Johnathan. Something so easy to do with Tommy. The worst thing is that it wasn't even because he was bad in bed, on the contrary, he was good, really good. You felt a little frustrated about it, afraid to admit the reason why... but you weren't going to let it ruin your day.

During breakfast, you talked about your personal and business life. he was an easy man to talk to and conversation flowed naturally.

The terms of the contract were set and he even proposed to help in other ways, such as providing better materials for your aunt to work with the silver. he even proposed that you consider working with gold-plated jewelry, but you didn't think it was time, it was a step bigger than your legs could handle and that could be a problem for the store. 

"Y/n, I have to say it was great spending this morning with you, but I have a meeting tomorrow in Scotland. So I have to go home and get ready to go out again." He said after paying the bill.

"It was really good Johnathan" you smiled

"I'll have my team write your contract but it probably won't arrive until next week. I apologize in advance for the delay but this week is too busy for me." he siad as he got up and ready to leave

"don't worry" you got up "I'll be waiting"

"Bye y/n," he said and kissed you on the cheek

"Bye," you smiled and watched him leave the bakery.

As you were already in town, you decided to stop by the store and see how things were going. As soon as you arrived, you came across your brother cleaning the shop.

"This is new. What are you doing here?" you asked Patrick. He doesn't come to town much so you were taken by surprise.

"We don't have a lot of hunting going on, so I go where I'm needed," he replied as he cleaned the shop window. 

"hm, good to know" you smiled "is dad around?"

"yeah, he is inside. By the way, I didn't see you last night…where were you?" he asked, squinting suspiciously. you smiled and ignored his question "oh it's not over... I'll find out" he said as you walked away from him

You found your father in the storage room. He had his back to you and seemed to be playing with the tapestry pieces

"What are you doing?" you asked

"oh! hey honey. Just seeing what we can change around here... change the window pieces, I mean" he said and you nodded

"I had a meeting yesterday," you said "I have a new silver supplier"

"oh, look at you! That's good, honey. Your aunt will like the news," he said turning to you and clapping his hands to clean the dust

"Did you have any luck looking for a shed or something like it?" you asked leaving the small room with your father

"yeah... not really" he said and took a deep breath "everything is so expensive it's not really worth it"

"Dad, we need this for the next month at the latest. In fact, we should have found a place to do this by now." you spoke annoyed

"what is the problem?" Patrick asked joining in the conversation

"Dad still hasn't found the place to put the machines I bought to help make the clothes" you clarified

"but I will," your father said

"Yes when?" you asked annoyed "What happens when the machines arrive? will we put them in the store? this store barely fits us. we need more space, Dad. I could easily look for it but you said you would!"

"y/n is right father," Patrick said

"Look, I'll fix this today, okay?" he said 

"I hope so," you said, and just as you did some clients entered and you stopped the conversation. 

Walking over to your brother as your father attended the customers you whispered "please don't say anything to dad"

"Were you with Thomas Shelby?" he asked bluntly

"No," you answered frowning 

"Good, I won't tell him" he smiled and you smiled back. 

"Thank you, see you later" you hugged him and left. 

Before you went home you stopped to put an end to your contract with the other silver supplier. It was a short and uncomfortable meeting. The man that you were in business with had the courage to say that you had no idea what you were doing and that you should just stop trying to pretend you knew, that he was doing you a favor just by considering having you in a room with him, amongst other insults. 

Walking out of his fabric and on your way home you just decided not to let him get to you. You would get home and take a good warm bath then have a good lunch with your family and spend the day with a good book. He was not going to ruin your day. 

When you arrived, you were surprised that Taffee didn't come to greet you like she always did. Walking around the camp you looked for her, sometimes she's with the kids, she loves to be with them, you thought.

You saw the kids in class, Dawn, your dad's dog, was lying there while your cousin was teaching, but no sign of Taffee. 

Where the hell are you? Did you lock yourself in my caravan again? you thought to yourself again.

Walking to your caravan you were taken by surprise, at no time did this possibility cross your mind. 

When you saw Tommy sitting on the stairs in front of your caravan with Taffee between his legs as he petted her, you felt all that mix of feelings that only he could get out of you, these feelings that you were trying so hard to suppress. Your heart raced, butterflies took over your belly and your palms started to sweat. 

Oh great, you thought wryly.

"What do you want?" you asked as you approached him. As soon as Taffee heard your voice she jumped up and went to you all happy. "hey baby!" you said as you petted her

"We need to talk," he said standing up

you nodded "ok... talk"

he looked around "can it be inside?"

You took a deep breath and nodded. You need to be strong now, you told yourself as you made your way inside your caravan. 

You sat on your bed and watched him close the door behind him. Taffee jumped on your bed and laid there paying attention to the both of you. 

"so?" you pushed him to start speaking after the silence got too uncomfortable 

"Do you want to talk business first?" he asked and you shrugged indicating that you didn't care. 

He stood there for a few seconds as if he was sizing up his moves before playing. suddenly he grabbed one of the chairs from your small table and pulled it out in front of you and sat down. 

"Y/n... I was using Grace to get what I wanted. I would never have invited you to that shit of a party to do that to you" he said calmly as his piercing blue eyes were locked on yours "I took her there because I thought that it would help me win Kimber over".

"Did it?" you asked

"Sort of..." he answered shrugging

"I was told you were away" There goes your strength, you mocked yourself. Swallowing hard you added "you lied"

he let his head fall forward as he nodded subtly.

"I did," he said lifting his face and pursing his lips "and I don't know why" he breathed deeply "I guess telling you a lie was easier than telling you my plan"

"Why?"

"It was not a plan I was proud of" he said "look, y/n..." he took his hand to your face, caressing you gently "I never wanted to hurt you, never... if I knew you were coming I would never have invited her" you laughed pulling your face away from his touch "what?"

"you for real?" you asked and he looked at you confused "you should never have invited her in the first place" you said angryly

"I know... I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry. I'll make this up to you, to us"

"Are you?" you asked and he nodded 

"I am" he continued nodding

"Did you fuck her?" you asked making him chuckle

"No" he answered amused at your question 

"Do you want to?" 

"No"

"That's a lie" you stated and he frowned "don't ask me how I know it, I just do. Gypsy sixth sense... oh and I also have eyes, she's a beautiful woman"

"Not as beautiful as you" he said and you rolled your eyes at him "Ok... how does this sound: whatever the smallest desire I have to fuck her doesn't even come close to the desire I have to fuck you," he said 

"Weirdly satisfying to hear" you answered honestly and he smiled 

"yeah?" he asked and you nodded.

Your eyes were locked on each other’s for a moment. Pulling you close gently, giving you time to say no if you wanted to, he kissed you, but as Taffee normally did when you two kissed she started liking your faces. He growled frustrated and you smiled.

"Just a second," you said cleaning your face as you stood up and took Taffee outside "go for a walk, girl" you petted her and watched her run to the kids. Closing the door behind you, you tuned to Tommy, who was standing up less than two steps away from you after he placed the chair back in place. "So... you want to talk business as well?" you asked and he smiled 

"Yeah" he took a step closer to you "but it can wait, ey" He ran his fingers through your hair, resting his hand on your cheek, and you gently lean into his touch "I missed you" his husky voice sending shivers down your spine.

Were you doing the right thing? just accepting his apologies like that?

Well, for some reason you knew he was telling the truth, somehow you always knew. And truth be told, you were crazy about him and shit, that was scary, but you didn't want to give it all up after one fight.

He made you feel good, he paid attention to you and you wanted him like you never wanted anyone before. You would be crazy to just leave him like that.

You wraped your arms around him, resting your hand against the back of his neck as his lips touched yours.

His hands on your hips pulling you closer to him. he kissed your neck, his teeth lightly gliding over your skin, your nails gently stroking into his.

You were both in sync as you got lost in the feeling. You were missing him and you could feel how much he had missed you too, almost desperately wanting each other's touch. 

His hands traveled down to your skirt, making you gasps as his fingers found their way around the hem of your underwear.

You left gentle kisses on his neck and jawline strongly holding onto the back of his neck, pulling him close. Fuck you wanted him so fucking bad.

"Tommy, I want you. So bad" you purred into his ear as your fingers traced his jawline, drawing tinny circles on it. 

You gasped and smiled as your body was quickly lifted off the floor and carried to bed. Pressing your body against the bed as he kissed you. His fingers brushed the buttons of your shirt, quickly unbuttoning them. 

When your shirt was off, he stood up to remove his jacket and waistcoat and threw them on the floor. You sat and began to unbutton his t-shirt whilst he pressed his lips against your neck, gently sucking at it. 

He then slipped the skirt off of your body and trailed his hand up and down your thigh admiring your body before he dove back in and pressed his body on top of yours once again. 

You began to unbuckle his pants and slid them off him whilst his hand brushed over your bra, taking them off. 

"Fuck" he mumbled gently squeezing one of your breasts as he took your nipple to his mouth "you're so fucking beautiful, love" he added making you smile.

He then moved his hand down to your underwear, teasing at the hem before inserting his fingers inside.

"You're so wet, love... always so wet for me," he said as he left kisses down your neck and breasts. 

"I am, Tommy" you mumbled in moans as his fingers started caressing your clit. 

You took your hand to his briefs and found his length and slowly began pumping him. He let out a moan and pressed his head against your forehead. 

"Enough teasing, ey," he said after a while.

Moving on top of you and taking off your panties then his briefs. He then lined himself with your entrance and locked his piercing blue eyes on yours as he slowly pushed himself inside of you. Your juices making it too easy for him to slide inside. 

"Oh, fuck" you moaned feeling his length inside of you. 

He gave you a few seconds to adjust before he started thrusting into you.

His head buried in your neck, his ears close to your lips making his senses intensely engaged in the erotic sounds that came out of your mouth as he fucked you. 

He sped up his pace getting rougher, thrusting each time deeper, if even possible.

One of his hands found its way to your clit, circling over it. Taking you by surprise as you felt the knot in your stomach grow so fast making you cum easily under his touch. Your moans got louder, but still, you had to control yourself. 

"Fuck I love hearing you" he purred as his lips found yours again as he began lustfully kissing you. 

"Well as much I want to scream your name, caravans walls are thin and there's a class going on outside," you said smiling and he gave a small laugh, resting his forehead on yours once again. 

You wrapped your legs behind his lower back and shifted your weight, putting yourself on top of him. You smiled as you tossed your hair back, feeling the confidence the new position gave you as you began to move on top of him. 

"So. fuking. beautiful," he grunted as you rocked over him. 

You could feel him so fucking deep.

Resting your hands on his chest as you supported yourself through your movements. His hands strongly held your asscheeks, helping you with the intensity of the movement.

You took your time, doing whatever felt nice... and oh, how fucking nice it felt.

"You need to stop, love..." he said closing his eyes "I won't last much longer" he added

"It's ok, my period is due this week" you said increasing your speed. 

In response, he growled and his grip got stronger on your flesh.

He turned you around, abruptly making you gasp at the surprising movement. 

He took your hand on his and brought it to your clit, stroking it gently. 

"Make yourself cum, love. Cum again, this time with me, ey" he purred, sending shivers down your entire body. You managed to nod before he started his relentless thrusts. 

"Holy fucking shit" you cursed arching your back overwhelmed by the feeling. 

You looked at him and you could see how intently his eyes were watching you paying attention to your every move. He got closer to you to kiss your lips, leaving a few kisses until he reached your ear.

"Cum for me" he whispered increasing your arousal

"I'm close, so close" you said closing your eyes.

You felt his lips on yours again and the knot in your stomach was growing so much that you felt like a tsunami was building inside you. Without any warning, the tsunami wave broke inside you, making you shudder under him almost losing control of your body. Hot, sensual moans escaped your lips pushing Tommy to his limit. He gripped the bed tightly as his seeds spurted inside your walls. Moaning on your ear as he rested his head on your shoulders. The two of you breathing loudly as you enjoyed the sensation your orgasms left your bodys.

You pulled his face towards you and kissed him softly, moving under him to allow him to lie down and when you did, his body simply dropped onto your mattress.

You smiled and sat up to grab the blanket that was folded up at the end of your bed to cover your bodies. When you did, he pulled you into his arms and kissed you once more.

"It took us long enough to do this," you said jokingly

"Somethings are worth waiting for," he said resting his head on yours while caressing your body. 

You laid together for a while. Him stroking your hair as he felt relaxed for the first time in many years. Without much choice he soon fell asleep, after all his body was exhausted. He didn't sleep well last night, worrying about losing you.

He wanted to bring back what Arthur told him yesterday, but he wanted to make things right first. Arthur was drunk and he wasn't a realiable source. He woke up hours later to you trying to keep Taffee out of the caravan.

"No! out! common Taffee help me out here. Get out!" you whispered to her but she thought you were playing with her. Thomas shifted in bed and your attention went to him. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you" finally letting Taffee win, you let go of her leash and she quickly ran to Tommy jumping on the bed with him and licking his face.

He smiled "don't worry about it, ey" he sat down trying to stop the mad dog

"I brought some food," you said

"What time is it?" he looked around a little confused

"nine" you replied

"Nine pm?" he asked and you nodded "fuck I blacked out"

"Yes" you nodded and jumped in bed with them, "I thought you needed some rest, you were so fast asleep"

"You can't even imagine," he said and pulled you close making you laid in his arms again.

Taffee laid on your foot finally calming down. he gently pulled you to a kiss hoping she wouldn’t see it start liking your faces.

He then closed his eyes again as you rested your head on his chest.

"Tommy…"

"Hm?"

"What does this mean?" you asked feeling nervous.

He pulled away and looked into your eyes "it means you're mine"

"And you're mine?" you asked

He chuckled "Yeah, pretty much" he said and you smiled.

“Good” you kissed him

With that, you were finally able to admit to yourself why you didn’t get there with Johnathan. The thoughts of Tommy as he fucked you. Everything was as clear as the day. You wanted Tommy, not him. And now you had him. Tommy was yours.

Tag List:  @abbygraceasd@tsnelf7 @blyanyan @thecrazytealady @chaoticevilbakugo @mestiza003 @itsmadamehydra @captivatedbycillianmurphy @faatxma @onlydeadcells @l1-l4 @hellstears @randomfanfics02 @literishdegree99 @watersquirtpewpewboomm @hellstears @alexxavicry @goodnightnsel @rito4ka @moon-river-drifter @Thenattitude @strangunddurm @fixtionlover @shittingonyourgrave @Dolllol2405 @atomicsoulcollecto @allaboutsml @aberrant_annie

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#fluff #peakyblinders #blinders #cillianmurphy #fanfic #arthurshelby #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #john shelby #masterlist #tommy shelby x reader thomas shelby x reader #tommy Shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby imagine #tommyshelby

[tobiasdrake]

Snowy hellscape? Snowy hellscape.

We are not dressed warmly enough for this. Good thing we got all that cold weather practice back at Zenith Academy. Nobody talks about it but the sky is very cold all the time. It's a miserable place to live.

We aren't burning the books yet, but we've been here five minutes and I already hate this place.

Oh my god, they have ice DJs. I take it back. This place is amazing. I renounce all other places. What do you even call a--

Rude.

Now I can cross "used ice to ward away the cold" off my list of life experiences that I never wanted to have in the first fucking place.

Still aren't burning the books but I am this close.

No. Absolutely not. I am too cold and pissy right now to deal with you jackfucks.

So help me, I will skin you for warmth.

...honestly, that was barely even a fight. We've had random encounters with more punch than you two. Zale and I only had to pop a single Mending Light.

When you see One and Three, tell them I said, "Hey, at least you're not these clowns. Silver medal's better than bronze."

Alright, it's real enough. Archivist's books are safe from my wrath.

I am going to be the greatest menace to sleep schedules in history. Hmm, what kind of lighting would I like for our journey today?

Maybe we can use this to fulfill our prophecies properly, since we're apparently too shitty to do it ourselves. To be fair, using tool assistance to compensate for our shortcomings is what makes us human.

Hmm... if we can control the day/night cycle freely now, can we use this to fabricate an eclipse when needed? I was thinking about that before with the time rune things but now we don't even need the runes.

Son of a bitch! If you'd told us that from the beginning, we could have just turned around, gone straight to the Fleshmancer's castle, and died horribly.

Well played, old man.

Well, credit where it's due; The compensation for this one was pretty cool. So why not. Maybe we can make a deal.

Yeah, I saw him when I was faffing about earlier. Is there more to him or is he just a head?

Are you the guy that Garl's supposed to demand a Flask of Borrowed Time from? Because this sounds pretty Flask of Borrowed Time adjacent.

Don't forget about that, Garl. My prophecies and Zale's have been trash, but you get the best prophecies.

Wait, you can do that? Could you just. Like. Reverse time to the night of the Eclipse and then we jump in and stop Erlina and Brugaves before they know what hit 'em?

If you can control time then our best option for dealing with Mesa Island is to prevent the Dweller of Strife from ever waking up to begin with.

XD

"I have no idea where Aephorul put my artifact but he's a predictable little shit so it's going to be there."

Well. Shit. I have a feeling we're about to find out if we can fabricate eclipses or not.

I guess we really wouldn't have been done once the Dweller of Woe was dead. Strange. If a Dweller's here, I wonder why it's not. Like. Doing anything.

I'm feeling a lot better about our chances against the Dweller of Strife than I was five minutes ago.

Here are your books back. I'm sorry I threatened to burn them.

It's called Torment Peak because the Dweller of fucking Torment lives there. Nobody knows there's a Dweller there because the place fucks with your head so bad that the Docarri, having set up shop on the island, discourage people from visiting.

There could be hidden Dwellers anyplace where common knowledge says we don't go there ever.

Okay, point to Erlina and Bugraves. We actually wouldn't have been finished after the Dweller of Woe was killed.

But also five points deducted because. What. People are just supposed to live like this? What the Dweller of Woe was doing to that island isn't any less unfathomably horrifying just because more Dwellers exist. If anything it's moreso. How long until the Dweller of Torment beefs up enough to do the same shit to the Docarri?

Oh, yes please. I could chug some "Fuck Outta My Head" Juice. We had a bad experience with exactly this kinda shit on Wraith Island and I don't want that ever happening again.

#sea of stars #drake plays sea of stars #glacial peak is very cold #but hosts a surprisingly rich culture all the same

[timeoverload]

I had to leave work around 10:30 this morning. I tried so hard to keep moving but I couldn't do it. I can't stand for very long and it's hard to keep my balance. Last night my sock was blood stained when I took my shoes off even though I don't have any visible wounds so I'm not sure where that's coming from. It happened again today even though I wasn't on my feet as long. My leg won't stop vibrating. I felt so guilty leaving. The pressure on my bladder is worse today and I had to keep rushing to the bathroom. Sorry for sharing that information but it's really uncomfortable. I know I don't have a UTI because I took a test when I got home.

I am going to the spine specialist in the morning and I'm going to try to get in for an injection on Friday. I don't know how the hell I'm going to pay for it. They won't schedule me any more appointments if any of my bills go to collections so I need to get on top of it right away. I don't want to get my injection alone!!! I want someone there to take care of me!! :'( I hope I don't get a spinal headache this time.

I knew something bad was going to happen. I'm so tired of going through this alone. My dad is the only person that has actually been there to help me. I wish I didn't have to ask him to help me all the time. He already has so many other things to worry about. I haven't been able to drive anywhere for weeks due to the snow either. I have a lot of errands to run but I don't expect him to drive me everywhere.

I'm also feeling pissed off at the world because I have to go through all of this without anything to relieve my pain or stop my muscle spasms. I am so uncomfortable!! I wish I lived in Colorado or something... I want to run away sometimes but I know I couldn't do it financially. It's not fair!!! I don't really drink anymore either and it's been over a month since I had a beer. I can't remember the last time I got drunk.

I feel like I will be trapped in this prison (my bedroom) forever. I feel like a feral animal locked in a cage. My mess keeps growing and maybe if I'm lucky it will eventually just suffocate me while I'm sleeping. How the fuck am I supposed to clean when I'm like this?? I have to keep ordering more clothes and I have probably spent thousands of dollars over the past year. I lost track. I don't want to keep doing that and I could have used that money to pay off a lot of my debt. I don't have a choice because I'm not going to wear dirty clothes. I haven't felt good enough to put the new mattress pad on my bed that I bought like 6 months ago and I couldn't get the old one off so I just ripped it in half so I have a space to sit. I don't have sheets on my bed and I just have to lay on blankets. There is so much stuff on my bed that I can't use the other side. How am I supposed to do anything?? I am pathetic. I don't think anyone realizes how bad it is or takes me seriously. I wish someone would put me out of my misery sometimes. I am not going to hurt myself but existing is pretty terrible right now.

I don't think I would be so nasty and angry if I wasn't in so much pain constantly. I don't think people understand that. I'm generally the sweetest person and I try to be kind to everyone but I know I haven't acted that way lately. I feel like I have been very mean and I'm getting worse so I'm sorry for that. No one knows what it's like until it happens to them. Literally anyone can become disabled at any time so don't take anything for granted.

I remember years ago I had a co-worker who had been working in sterile processing for 15 years and she was such a bitch to me all the time and was hard to be around. I was afraid of her. I understand now why she was like that... she was in a lot of pain too. I definitely have a lot more empathy for her now. I hope she is doing better now wherever she is. I've also taken care of a lot of sick people and I know that pain can bring out the worst in someone. People tend to lash out more often when they are desperate for relief because they get ignored otherwise.

My head is killing me because I am dehydrated since I keep having to go to the bathroom almost every hour. It's making me dizzy. I'm glad I don't have to go to work tomorrow because I would probably cry. I managed to take a shower when I got home but it didn't really help me feel better. I think I am going to sleep the rest of the day. I had breakfast but I don't feel like eating anything else today and I don't care about food now. I hate eating. I don't want to be awake anymore because it's depressing and I have no desire to do anything. I'm sorry for being such a downer but this is just how my life is and I don't think it's going to change any time soon.

Hopefully everyone else is having a much better day than I am... thank you for listening to me vent. 💖💖💖

#personal

[winterswhite]

Personal rant, CW for talks of blood and medical stuff

The past 5 days have really been so much for me and it... seriously doesn't feel like only 5 days at all with how much has gone on

On Wednesday evening I got home from work feeling extremely weak after telling my QPP repeatedly that I don't feel good, and after I was no longer able to hold my head up or open my eyes without extreme effort my roommate took me to the emergency room where we waited 9ish hours for me to even be taken to a bed and then one or two more to be seen

When they did get there, they said they needed to take blood, give me an IV, do chest x-rays, and a few other tests (I think they tested me for a stroke too) because clearly a lot was wrong

The nurse tried to put the IV in my left arm and then my hand, failing both times because she couldn't find a vein. She then called over a second nurse, who said since I had already been poked twice, she wasn't going to poke me unless she was sure she had one

She left without poking me.

She called over a doctor to come with a whole ass ultrasound setup to use that to find a vein, and they only found a suitable one in my upper right arm, meaning I had to hold it up at an uncomfortable angle the entire time and because of where it was, it also hurt the entire time (only a little, but still)

They also interrupted it in the middle to take more blood ("well that can't be good")

Also, while they were putting the IV in, I remember them struggling to reach the vein, and the pain from them wiggling it around trying to reach my difficult ass vein, and then hearing "how attached are you to this sweatshirt?"

I had... bled all over it (fortunately they stopped the bleeding pretty fast, very different from my last experience with an IV where I nearly bled out on the hospital floor)

Anyway, after wanting to cry from how uncomfortable the whole experience was but eventually managing to sleep through the last half hour of it, they told me about my bloodwork, and a lot is wrong! Some of the things that have always been wrong with me, and some new things, like low thyroid and low potassium, low sodium etc

They scheduled me for a follow-up appointment in a week and I leave, it is now Thursday morning

I picked up the meds they prescribed me and got home around noon, exhausted from not having slept all night, and napped

Only to wake up to a terrible toothache out nowhere, that at its worst was so bad I couldn't lift a finger

I ran to the dentist but they were closing by the time I got there and told me to come back the next morning

I did, and they said I need an emergency root canal, but that it would be hard to find any endodontists who take my insurance, which... yeah, it proved to be impossible

So now, today, I'm scheduled for the root canal, and I have to pay for the whole $1500 out of pocket

Which I haven't reached, but... I'll have to see what I can manage now

Also, through all of this, my workplace is telling me it's "unacceptable" not to show up to work because they're short-staffed. As if I wasn't stuck in the fucking hospital. I worried about getting fired, because I need that money to pay for the fucking root canal and I hadn't even received my first paycheck, so I went in to work yesterday, but wasn't able to finish a full day of work because I felt like Shit

They still told me they need a doctor's note specifically stating that I can't work for x number of days (even though I gave them my emergency room discharge papers to prove I was unwell) before they could believe that I was actually not feeling well enough to work

So I guess I'm going to ask the fucking endodontist for one

And this cuts into my funds for my trip to take the JLPT and some other things in June, which I also really need so I can get a better job. It is absolutely necessary that I take this trip, but I'll no longer have the money for it yet, and travel costs only go up as you get closer to the date of, so lol.

Anyway. It has not even been 5 full days since I first went to the ER. I need a fucking break.

#anposting #/rant

[iamthecomet]

Daily update on into the eyes of fire, on yesterday and on today

You‘re so right. Being a perfectionist for me often means that I will not do something at all. Having that mixed with executive dysfunction just doesn’t work out great most of the time.

I‘m happy to talk to you about it, thank you for the offer! I‘m so excited to finish the first chapter, because then I’ll be able to tell so much more

I‘m also very glad that the day was better for you, and that your keyboard works again. For me it was a lot better as well. I had two friends coming over (that also stayed with me for the night) and it was really nice. We managed to finish watching season two of the Witcher, complained about overpowered characters and bad writing together

Then my ADHD kicked in as the others got really tired (they have a nighttime routine that took soooo long, goodness. I‘m glad if I’m able to brush my teeth for 3 minutes). It was pretty funny tho (I put this TikTok sound with „more passion, more passion, more energy, more energy, more footwork…“ on, held the speaker in my hands and danced around (it was a lot of fun tbh. I missed having these random bursts of energy, often caused by having a lot of sugar). It also made me tired so I got to sleep after that

Yeah! Casual nudity ghouls are awesome (they also made me more comfy with nudity, to the point of me running around shirtless at home from time to time. Yesterday even when my friends were over (it was so fucking hot). Like, I was always pretty comfy with nudity, but not to that point)

I did indeed get some drawing done! I finished the third panel of four on the third page (I just need the backgrounds for those first three as well, but I wanna do them all at once)

Today I had a lot of work to do and technically still do, but I am beyond tired and just gave up. Tomorrow will be two checkups and I’m absolutely not ready for one, but I fucking can’t anymore. I‘ll just try with luck because honestly, there is no way in hell I’m able to function enough to do work right now (I’m already glad that I managed to eat something now because my bloodsugar is probably way too low and I think it’s the reason for why I feel so terrible (physically) right now, so I think I’ll look for a sugary drink as well)

I have a headache but I’m really hoping that I‘ll be able to draw for at least an hour now, and that I’ll possibly even finish the third page

I Hope your day was good/is good, and that you got some stuff done that you wanted to do!

~ @owlishanon

Yay progress!! You've done so much work on it this week! I've gotten almost nothing actually finished this week, but it's ok. Sometimes things are just like that. I have a crochet project I'm hoping to finish today. And someday I'll get back into a consistent writing schedule, but probably not today. And your night with your friends sounds so fun!! All of my close friends live at least an hour and a half away from me at this point. So I don't get to have those nights as often as I used to. I hope everything went/goes well today. That sounds stressful, but I'm sure you'll make it through. You've got this!!

#comet comments #owlish #comet's anons

[dzpenumbra]

8/28/22

I'm in a bad place. I woke up after 4 hours of sleep. My cat was trying to comfort me. My heart was pounding, my mind was racing. My optimism, my hope, my will was crumbling. I was frantic and scared and crying.

The leaves are already falling and I don't have a place lined up to move to. My roof is literally collapsing, it's irreparable and I've been living with it for over 2 years, I can't do another winter freaking out about my roof collapsing again. I don't even know the area I'm going to move to. And there are really no rentals available anyway. I look at the work that I make, that I committed myself fully to doing this summer. I see things that no one wants. That my closest supporters look at and say "oh cool" in passing, then pick up their phone and look at what they really want to see, made by someone else. I've been steadily losing confidence in my ability to make this art/music/poetry/streaming hybrid career ever turn into anything. I defend it a lot in my journals here, but I'm really starting to realize that I'm the only one defending it. All of those in supporting roles have encouraged me to do something else.

I'm at the stage again where I'm pretty much ready to give up. I tried. I feel like I could give it years more, but the price I've been paying to do so is just... unimaginable. A 9 and a half hour conflict today, entirely focused on how fucked up my life is. To put that in context, that's almost an entire iPhone battery charge worth of phone call. With my Mom of course, who lives 5 minutes away.

I'm just starting to look around and see that I don't really have anything left. I have possessions that I don't really use, maybe I can sell those to make the move easier, god knows I'll be doing it alone. I have my cat, I love her with all my heart, even if she bites me because we don't play enough. I have my will to persevere, which unfortunately has been crumbling, but it's still there somehow. That's about it, honestly.

My stupid medical shit, failed "live-in" (aka one-foot-out-the-door renting an apartment while living with me and running off to it every week) relationship, and being reassured that I will be supported in pursuing my creative career has left my resume entirely empty for many years. I'm deeply afraid that once I finally give up, I won't be able to get a "real job". I'm not even sure if I'll be able to rent an apartment, I don't have proof of income. I really hope so.

I have been in similar situations back in college, like waaaaaay back. It was so much easier to take gigantic swan-dives into new life situations when I hadn't adapted to certain ways of living, and when the darkness of the world was much more... cartoonish and less real. I'm very afraid. I'm afraid of being alone in a city. I'm afraid of ending up in a shitty living situation and having no plan B. But that's my situation. That's just what it is. And me sitting here and trembling like a leaf isn't going to change it.

This sucks. Like... it's just bleak. I haven't felt this hopeless in a very long time. I feel like the best I can hope for is getting some job at like a gaming shop or a skate shop or something and just try to keep a roof over my head. And I guess that isn't the end of the world. The vision that I had just a few weeks ago, that mental picture of me making art on commission, streaming, writing, playing gigs, all that. It feels like a joke. It's something I might do for a few hours on the weekend, maybe. The dream is dying. Again.

I hope this is just a phase, or a response to being treated really poorly at a time of extreme vulnerability. I really hope the dream isn't actually dead and I'm just expressing my pain this way. It's really hard to tell.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. Here's hoping I can fix up my sleep schedule a bit.

#diary #journal #spilled thoughts

[notimportant396]

more (about 1/2 the biographical details are delusional)

eyes always watching

feels like I'm always about to br accused of a false crime

my skin belongs to someone else

someone I've never met

dont feel like I'm really here

but my mind feels younger

my hands aren't working today

I'm back in the shit, feel like I'm dragging my body

This is not okay, like I know this isn't right

There is something wrong with my brain, it's filled with static

I feel like I'm dying, then kinda like I'm in charge and next I'm crawling up the walls, wanting to open my arms up to drag out the nerves, and like there's people breathing down my neck and bugs under my clothes

Just want to go to sleep and reset it.If I CAN sleep, it resets a bit, sometimes, for a time

this is 100% psychosis, at least during the bad episodes

when I'd get like this I'd recluse, and they'd tell me I can't do that, I've gotta go outside and talk to people, I'd go days without speaking, would run from people

so I'd go outside, get lost, find a flea infested place to nap

always had ways to fix everything using what I could find

weird theories about everything and some even worked

and nothing ever got fixed, nothing ever changed

and the person in my head I imagine telling all this

just shrugs and looks at me like I'm pathetic

like they can't believe someone like me exists, or could hold a conversation

I'm here, I have been through this shit, I got myself good enough to get help

I feel like a narcissist but I could not be happier if I never thought about my problems or history again

But they shut me down

and then I never want to speak again

and I feel like jumping off a bridge

I'd rather not be broken, rather be dead

rather than try to let someone help, rather force myself through it

your problems aren't real, you can't feel your body because you're too inside your head, all your fault

that's all i remember

this new medication be fucking me up. I'm getting my ass kicked.

I don't know where I'm at

I've been here before but never like this

well someone gotta have it

it's all in your head they say

yeah bitch that's what makes it so traumatic

I was psychotic when I tried to off myself

I wanted to wake up because I thought I was stuck in a dream

I have wanted to die for years

I've been living in alternate realities

I'm a different person each day

would stay up for days, sleep for days. schedule was uncontrollable

and I realize now nothing really changed when I got older

I just learned to work 72 hours awake, sleep 18 hours on the Sunday

now I'm on this antipsychotic and I'm seeing shit, hearing shit, and I feel exactly like I did living in that house back then

i talk when I don't mean to, don't want to, say things I'd rather not

can't stop my body from doing what it wants

keep having static in my head, popping and sparks and everything feels numb or it feels wrong or everything hurts, everywhere, or my head feels like it's about to burst, like blood vessels are bursting

I'm writing this down now because lucid times are not dependable, I've not had these memories for several years, I'm afraid I'll lose it again

last time I just stopped getting help, convinced myself I was making it up

I'm not making it up

I'm gonna die if I don't fix this

I feel like I'm full of heat and I want to skin myself alive

People used to always ask what was wrong when I was like this

Emotionless, directionless and sourceless rage

I feel like I've awoken from a coma

I feel like burning myself alive

About to start hurting myself

Ears ringing and forgetting how to read

I feel like I belong everywhere and nowhere, wherever I am is where I'm supposed

to be but I know something is missing or I'm supposed to be doing

something.

Starting to feel like jumping out of my skin 12pm

So tired

Tired of being beaten

dont belong anywhere.

dont want to be here. this is not the right place for me.

I know where this ends. can we get there already?

I'll never say anything now because, why bother, but the people around me when I

was younger were fucking idiots.

... removed for privacy ...

well I finally remembered what it was like when I killed myself

and frankly I don't think it was the wrong call

this is impossible

how am I supposed to escape this situation

yeah I'm not sure I'm making it out of this one

I'm sorry

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure I can make it

[mood2you]

Food Journal 2/22

Breakfast : Bagel and egg

Lunch : Ono Hawaiian (mostly macaroni salad, one single piece of chicken I'd left myself, some cabbage)

Lunch 2 : Breakfast burrito and bag of snap peas

Lunch 3 : Broccoli chedder soup

Snack : Watermelon, watermelon smoothie

Snack : Rice and teriyaki sauce

I think these journals are making me hungrier. I really seriously think that your job should ask when you usually eat meals and be forced to give you meal breaks AT normal times. I know there will be a rush, but imagine if I ate dinner at 7 and you ate at 6, THAT would work out if there were enough workers to cover the rush. Working in a walkable city should be so casual that you could find someone who eats at 5 to work 2 hours, and not feel like their whole day is leading up to working, but instead so casual and easy.

Anyways, tomorrow's Friday which means no meat, but I also have to cook dinner, but I don't want to go shopping, but now I'm sitting on me bed I don't want to take any meat out, we probably already ate all the fish anyways. My coworker, who has no respect for "the schedule" which sucks ass and is always changing anyways and three times was not even sent to us, and we're basically on call for free all the time, wanted me to cover his shift but I don't feel like working 6 days a week. Working is what's stopping me from doing the dishes. My other coworker wants the overtime, he won't get it though, and (as though talking about a puppy's face) I can't say no to my boss. I said no to my coworker. I said maybe. I have bad time management anyways I would get the same done with or without having my day taken up. I'm tired of being judged by people. I keep on accidently being passive aggressive to my boss, I think "accidentally passive aggressive" just means careless. Last week it was from poor sleep hygene, this week I have no excuse, but last week was worse. It wasn't my boss exactly, but I know she'd point to it. My routine is changing soon, a routine I obliterated, it's becoming a routine again, some structure. I could have made a routine if I'd had time. I need to go to the DMV and the car repair. I will do it in 2 weeks. As I said on my other blog "this is my last week of goofing off and drawing all day" and Friday was going to actually be all day.

I have all these things like "most of a cabbage" "whole bag of spinach" "frozen spinach" "watermelon" all I've done with it is cube the watermelon. I have a trick which is just using a sharp knife and shaving it while it's in quaters, instead of cutting the triangle slices and trimming the rind off. If you do it lazy style some of the pieces are less tender. Watermelon used to have a lot of white and some black seeds but it's gotten to have more flesh in my lifetime. That's good but I'm suspisious of that stuff, maybe it's less fiber or something. Thinking about inflation makes me think how did we not do gangbusters selling xyz, it was probably only a dollar then. 3 fucking dollars. How can they say inflation is 3% when they also say food prices have doubled, what is it 3% per week?

Well, I try to keep this stuff off my main anymore. Well, you're not the only one going through it. Goodnight.

I'm just mad I've been working on comics for a month, but it's been 3 comics so I have no buffer of anything, it's stupid to start a comic concurrantly, I want to and can't decide. Just because I finished an outline doesn't mean I can't wing it on a different project and save the outline for later. This week has been very long. I haven't seen my friends much this week because we've been annoying each other last week. I keep having to work. I wish the schedule wouldn't change. I wish my coworker would ask for days off 2 weeks in advance. I hope my boss finds someone to cover him easily and doesn't even have to ask me. I w