#i havent posted smile for me since christmas....

[ribbonzregretz]

i love playing with jpegs like dolls

#shitpost #s4m game #smile for me #s4m parsley #trencil varnnia #jimothan botch #i havent posted smile for me since christmas....

[harrypotterandthefandomaccount]

everybody plays the fool

pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

request: not requested, just based on personal experience & struggles rn lol

warnings: fluff, angst, loving someone else who is in a relationship, hurt, unrequited love? kinda?

note: recently experienced this with someone very important to me so super slay! some of these quotes are exactly what he said, which is kinda funny to use them in a fic. anyway, enjoy your early christmas present since i havent posted in 9 months!!!

remus lupin was not a bad person by any means, no, but at the present moment, you wish he was so you had some kind of 'backup' for your hurt.

you and remus had been close for a number of years, your relationship flourishing once you joined the order. he was very protective and observant of you, ready to jump into action if you needed his help - but he was not overwhelming. he respected you, that much was clear, and if you needed him to care for you, he'd be there in a heartbeat.

his standing with romantic relationships was something that you were not always 100% clear on, and you never pushed him to clarify or share that part of his life with you. but members of the order had told you of past partners, and to your knowledge, he was single - and life was good. you felt comfortable being a bit more flirty with him and hanging around him more often than usual. remus never seemed to mind and was glad to have you around, and your heart fluttered like a golden snitch.

well, up until you found out he had a girlfriend.

when word had spread, you backed off immediately. flirting with him, making suggestive comments, and of the sorts was no longer your place, and while it stung, you respected it. ruining a relationship was not on your bucket list. but really, you shouldn't have worried too much about yourself.

remus had been showing you around grimmauld place, as sirius typically had old photos of their younger selves, and when you had discovered a bunch of old polaroids of the marauders, remus was quick to delve into his past at hogwarts. you ran your thumb over the photos, fondly looking at the group of boys.

you glanced up at remus, "i have to say, rem, this photo looks nothing like you," a soft laugh escaping your lips.

remus chuckled, "that was when i was young, y/n, full of hopes and dreams, handsome. you missed my prime."

you laughed along with him, but you sensed part of words held a bit of truth behind them, "i feel robbed of not being around during your prime, with the way you describe it."

remus shrugged, a sigh escaping him, "yes, well, that was when i used to be somewhat attractive and before all of this madness."

the words slipped before you could stop, "in a non-weird, platonic way, you're still attractive so don't let time control your happiness and contentment with your life, remus."

he blushed from your words, smiling lightly, "in a non-weird, platonic way, i kind of like that you said that."

you looked at one another, your lips mindlessly swiping over your lips. remus cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that-"

you shook your head, "no, i overstepped - i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable..."

it was now remus's turn to shake his head, a soft smile on his face, "we both apologized, so i think we're even, darling. I'll see you at dinner."

after that first encounter, you decided to put some distance between you and lupin; you had figured it was the best option in avoiding any kind of awkward tension. and, for the most part, it worked. there were a few instances where you had to interact, but it was for the order and while things weren't necessarily awkward, it settled your mind.

soon enough, christmas had rolled around and yourself, along with the rest of the order and the kids, had decided to spend the holidays at grimmauld place. the house was bustling with such positive, happy energy and it was exactly what you needed.

remus and yourself were currently outside on the steps, sitting down as you people-watched. it was quite calming, had you not been a bit anxious considering it was your first time being alone with him in a while.

"so," remus started, "how have you been? i feel like we have not seen each other in a while."

you turned to him, smiling lightly, "good! currently doing a lot of raids for the ministry and sometimes that includes sleeping outside and just waiting. not ideal, but it's...life."

remus raised his eyebrows, "that's hell! you deserve better than that - do you have anywhere to sleep, like a tent?"

you shrugged, "sometimes we can conjure one, other times we decide to wait it out."

playing with his fingers, remus blew out a breath, "i'd say i would join you, but considering we spend enough time together here as it is, I'm not sure that it would be as fun."

you shook your head, "you said it yourself, we haven't seen each other in a while - it would be a blast having you there, if it weren't for the ministry." remus smiled at your reply.

soon enough, remus and you fell into a routine whenever you both were at grimmauld place: talking a stroll outside, sharing stories about your childhoods and memories that held importance, before heading back inside for the night.

you were incredibly thankful for grimmauld place. it had become a home, somewhere to rely on if you just needed some bustling of life, socialization, or love. tonight, an important quidditch playoff was on, and soon enough, the adults were becoming tipsy due to muggle alcohol.

you wouldn't have taken any action if remus's girlfriend was around, but she wasn't, so you took this opportunity to help the lycanthrope upstairs and into bed.

"remus lupin, you party animal," you chuckled, helping him discard of his shoes and vest. his face was a bit flushed as he laughed, "y/n, i-i don't want to-to be, but if i must."

with a snort, you shook off remus's vest, "even when drunk, you're still able to form coherent, intelligent sentences. here," you paused, placing some muggle ibuprofen and water on his bedside table, "take care of yourself for tomorrow morning."

remus gave a slightly-drunken smile, "thanks for taking care of me."

you folded up his vest, placing it on a chair in his bedroom, "of course, anything for the best guy around."

he groaned, "you don't have-have to say that, it's not true."

in your head, you sighed, 'oh merlin, please do not a self-pity drunk, remus.'

you sat down next to him on the bed, "rem, I'm not sure where that thought came from, but you are an amazing guy - you're the best. none of this negative self-talk, okay?"

remus laid back, eyes glossing over, "i'm sorry if i don't live up to that all the time, if i changed your perception of me."

you leaned over, grasping his hand, "remus, life isn't about keeping score or living up to expectations. it's about loving the way that you are living and as long as you are happy, that is the most important thing. be kinder to yourself, rem."

remus sighed, holding onto your hand a bit tighter, "ah, I'm just rambling...but y/n, i appreciate you, genuinely. i love you."

pang.

you gave a saddened smile, but hid it well enough that he didn't ask questions, "i love you too, remus."

remus then began giggling to himself, hiding his face between his hands. you laughed as well, unsure as to why, but he had brightened your gloomy feelings immediately. with a squeeze of his hand, you questioned remus, "what's got you so giggly, lupin?"

he laughed softly once more, "just-just thinking about the time i slept at the top of the astronomy tower."

your eyebrows raised high with surprise, "excuse me? when was this, and can we do it at some point?"

remus nodded his head excitedly, "of course, darling. it-it was a few years ago, yes, but quite fun! but, i should warn you - it gets veryyyy chilly up there." his eyes went wide, as though remembering the cold, and shivered. you tightened the blanket around him.

with a smile, you continued, "no worries, we'll bring our fair share of pillows and blankets, don't worry, rem."

remus looked over at you, his drunkenness slowly leaving his body, "can we share, y/n?"

as if you'd say no.

"of course, remus, whatever you'd like."

"hmm, no pillow wall."

you raised an eyebrow, "pillow wall? for what, rem?"

he hummed, "to separate us, but we don't need one...i like it when you call me that, rem."

your face flushed red, but hope he didn't notice as he continued, "i tend to get hot in the middle of the night."

'don't agitate the conversation, don't encourage it.'

"well, rem, unfortunately i'm the exact opposite and i get cold in the middle of the night."

remus softly chuckled, playing with your fingers, "oh, so you may need help to warm up? you know, you could always get warmer...there are certainly some ways."

shit.

you sighed, a sad smile on your face as you brushed remus's hair back, "get some sleep before you say something you might regret. goodnight, rem." and with that, you left the room in a hurry.

you cried that night, upset and angry at yourself for playing into his drunken flirting and suggestive tones. he clearly didn't know what he was saying, but you did, and took advantage of that. ugh, you hated how that made you feel. he had a girlfriend who he loved (you assume), and what you said and suggested...oh god, how were you two going to be friends?

remus awoke the next morning, aware of what he had said. if he was being honest, he knew what he said to you as he wasn't really that drunk. and he knew once you were aware of that fact, you'd be even more upset at him. getting out of bed, remus was met with the smell of tea, which wafted through the house until he saw you outside on the steps, knee bouncing nervously.

the lycanthrope met you outside and without looking behind you, you knew who it was. remus sat down beside you, tonks on his mind as he tried to formulate what he was going to say. nymphadora was his priority, his girlfriend, his love. but why did he do this to her, to you?

"how're you feeling this morning? any hangover symptoms?" you questioned, just trying to move past the awkwardness.

remus shrugged, "i feel fine, believe it or not. how are you?"

you bit your lip, "okay. didn't get much sleep, wasn't able to shut my brain off." or your tears.

remus glanced at you; you looked exhausted and with the fresh-looking bags under your eyes, he knew you cried. and with that knowledge, his heart panged.

you took in a shaky breath before whispering, "are we okay after last night? i-i couldn't sleep because of it."

remus sighed, nodding his head, "i couldn't either, darling."

you cringed, and he noticed.

remus continued, "it's not on you, y/n, it's on me, and i'm sorry. it was a shitty thing of me to do."

you looked down, your fingernails becoming the most interesting thing in the world, "I'm sorry, too. i shouldn't have continued the conversation. it's not all on you, rem."

remus looked towards you but your head remained down, "y/n...i-i think we both went with it but it got real at some point but i did that." he paused before continuing, "let me take responsibility."

you furrowed your eyebrows, meeting his eyes once you looked up, "remus, you were drunk, i fed into your drunken conversation-"

he interrupted you, "if we're being honest, i wasn't that drunk. let me be better, y/n, please."

your heart ached as it shattered into pieces, trying to mend itself back together. he wasn't that drunk when he said those things to you last night? you became increasingly confused, upset, angry, heartbroken. this man had worked his way into your heart, becoming not only a true friend, but someone you loved. and when a flirty conversation began taking a turn, he knew exactly what he was doing, saying.

but you couldn't have him, and the way this conversation is headed, you would never.

"i just want us to be okay," you whispered the half-truth, wishing you could say what you truly wanted from him. that you wanted him.

remus grasped your hand before letting go as he felt you tense, "you are not in the wrong at all, y/n. we are more than okay."

with a nod, you bit your lip once more, "just-just let me know if i overstep, okay?"

the lycanthrope looked over your face before turning towards the street, "i wanted you to overstep last night, y/n, so take that worry and throw it away. i truly wasn't that drunk, and what i said - what i did - was unfair and selfish, and i won't do it again."

you wanted to sob. he wanted you to overstep, to break his resolve concerning you and his current relationship. remus lupin may not have been entirely sober but he was aware of what he wanted, and he doesn't deny it. this was his way of moving on, of validating your feelings and hoping it wouldn't affect anything. he'd get past it, he had to. he loved nymphadora.

but you loved him. remus lupin gave you thousands of butterflies in your stomach to the point where it made you nauseous. you showed up to grimmauld place more often than you liked just for the off-chance of seeing remus. your autonomic body functions shut down and your palms became increasingly sweaty at the thought of him. you were enamored with remus lupin, but he was enamored with someone else who he didn't see as often as you.

you were the fool in the game of love. you were there as a convenience.

you wanted to tell him that you loved him, that thinking of him made you nauseous - but in a romantic way. you want to know what it is like to kiss him, to wake up next to him, to say "i love you" in a romantic sense.

before you realized it, tears began running down your cheeks. remus turned you towards him, wiping your tears. you felt as though you were going to be sick.

"i'm sorry i made you cry," he whispered, remorse and guilt heavy in his tone. he knew what you were feeling.

you shook your head, making remus move his hands as you wipied your tears, "ugh, no, emotions are just dumb."

remus sighed with a nod, "that they are, and they get us into trouble."

your mind was racing.

he continued, "but having and expressing them is the most important thing any of us can do. whether we are overstepping or not." more tears began to flow as remus finished, "that's why everyone loves you so much; emotions are your superpower. i love working alongside you, and knowing you, y/n. truly."

with a tear-ridden face, you turned to remus and gave him a sad smile, "thank you, remus." with a pause, wondering if you should say anything else, you continued, "I'll see you inside."

before he could say anything else, you went inside and up to your bedroom, the covers becoming your comfort and safe place for your tears.

you were utterly in love with remus lupin, but he was utterly in love with nymphadora tonks. and while you guessed that remus knew your feelings towards him, he had an obligation to her, history with her, and you'd never compare. you wanted to overstep, but doing so would be wrong. you knew that time would pass, that you'd get over remus lupin eventually, but at the moment, he owned your heart while he loved someone else.

you assumed, that everybody plays the fool at some point in the game of love.

#remus #lupin #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin/reader #remus lupin/you #professor lupin #defense against the dark arts #nymphadora tonks #tonks and lupin #nymphadora and remus #nymphadora x remus #tonks #unrequited love #unrequited feelings #loving someone who is in a committed relationship #loving someone you cant have #slight manipulation #slight taking advantage of feelings #love #unrequited pining #tears #crying #crush #loving a person you cant have #fool #being a fool #fool in love

[ellagrays-blog]

Bowser x reader

Summary-bowser jr helps his dad find a Christmas gift for you

Since Christmas was coming up bowser needed to find a gift for you but he couldnt think of amything

he has been paicing around thinking what could he get his beautiful wife for Christmas

“Papa?”

“Jr?! Uh what do you need”

Bowser says trying not to make it obvious that he's panicked

“Papa you ok you seem off?”

Jr said with worry for his father

“Well if I tell you have to promise not to tell your mother”

A secret? From mom, it must be super duper important if it's a secret from mom

jr thought

“Yes papa I promise!”

He said excitedly

“Well I haven't gotten anything for your mother and am afraid it might be to late”

Bowser then looks down in shame as he plays with a golden ring around his finger just then jr hugs him and says

“It's ok papa ill help you”

Bowser looks at him surprised then smiles and hugs him back

“Thank you jr, now let's find mom a present!”

Bowser says with excitement as he picks up jr

After exploring the store for a while still nothing bowser began to run out of ideas on what to get you, bowser begins to freak out as he begins to think how disappointed you be to find out how HE your husband out of all people, couldn't get you a gift, just the thought of you being sad or disappointed in him makes his heartbreak as he begins to think of the ways he could ruin your Christmas someone interrupts this thought

“Papa what about this”

Bowser looks down to see jr holding-

A box

As jr handed him the mystery box he opens it to see

The perfect thing just for you

“It's perfect jr”

“Mama! papa! Wake up wake up it's Christmas!”

The koopalings jumped up and down with excitement on your and bowser's bed

“Ok ok am up am up”

You say with laughter

“Now all you guys have to do is wake up you father”

You chuckle as you watch them jump on bowser telling him to wake up

With a giant yawn, the husband you love dearly has finally woken up from his slumber

“Am up am up”

“Yay!”

They ran towards the living room with you and bowser close behind

You both sat close to each other as you watch your kids open gifts

After all the gifts are open you stand up and begin to walk away, bowser seemed confused as he watched you walk awayA

After a while you come back with a box with colourful wrapping paper, bowser looks at you with a surprised look as you hand him the box

As he begins to unwrap the colourful wrapping paper of the box, he slowly opens box he finds to see a picture frame

As he looks closely he sees it's a picture with you, bowser and the koopalings the way everything looks it melts his heart seeing his family just the way everything looks in the photo its

Perfect

“It's might not be the best but I hope you like”

You say nervously hoping he likes you gift

“I just-”

You get cut of with a kiss you close your eyes has you cup bowser face

“Eww” “stop it papa and mama”

“Thats gross”

You laugh into the kiss as you hear the koopaling's fake vomiting sounds and the complaints on how gross you and bowser are kissing is

“Oh shush you acting like you haven't seen us kiss before”

Bowser said with a chuckle seeing how his children are grossed out on the topic of you and him kissing

Just before he forgets jr yells

“Papa remember! The gift!”

Right, the gift, bowser gets up to get the small box out of the bedroom he comes out with a small box in hand as he sat down beside you

As he hands you the box with a nervous smile you open the box to find a

Heart necklace

You open the necklace to find a picture of you and bowser on your wedding day you pause as your smile grew

“This is beautiful bowser, this is the best gift anyone have gave me”

You lean close to kiss him but sadly the koopalings pushes you and bowser away from each other and with a yell

“Ewwww!”

You and bowser laugh as you watch your kids having fun with new toys and presents

As you and bowser relax and just enjoying each other company”

This might be the best Christmas you ever had

Merry late Christmas sorry I havent posted while been busy😓😄but I'll be posting more and remember requests are open 👍

#bowser #bowser x reader #king bowser #bowser x oc

[mooodyblue]

baby's first christmas | little!austin x cg!reader

summary: you decide to make you and austin's first christmas together a little more special.

requested: sorta!

warnings: agere, little space

wc: 806

a/n: this has been in my drafts since february. FEBRUARY. this was requested by an anon ages ago and im sooo sorry for just now posting it. like this was right when i started writing little!austin.....anyway. posting this because i havent posted in three days and i feel BAD !! writers block is kicking my butt. enjoy.

masterlist

not only was christmas your favorite holiday, but it was austin's too. what made it more special was that this christmas would be your first together. having moved in with austin several months ago, that meant you got to help decorate for christmas which was truly one of your favorite parts of the holiday. of course, there were some arguments here and there. one about wanting an inflatable snowman out in the front yard but austin wanting santa claus. you wanted white lights and austin wanted multicolored lights. at least you both decorated the tree with no arguments.

to top everything off, you learned about a new side of austin a few weeks before christmas after catching austin baby talking to a stuffie he had tucked away in his closet. he didn't know that you knew about that side of him. however, you wanted him to know that it was okay to open up to you about it whenever he was ready and by doing that, you decided you were going to spoil him for your first christmas together.

you could tell austin was really trying to hold it in on christmas morning. he was visibly excited, bouncing his leg up and down during breakfast and tapping his fingers on the table to fight off that feeling in his head. you just hoped austin didn't get upset at your choice in gifts today.

"i don't think i've ever seen you so excited." you chuckled, sipping from your christmas mug.

austin laughed awkwardly, "i just really like christmas, i guess." he toyed with his own mug, running his hands around it, feeling the smooth, warm texture of the glass. "it's our first christmas together, y'know?"

"mhm," you nodded. "first of many, hopefully." you joked, cringing slightly at your poor joke.

he looked at you with a straight face, squinting his eyes. "what's that supposed to mean?"

"bad joke. let's go open presents." you quickly said, leaving the kitchen.

austin shook his head and followed you, eyes widening at the amount of gifts under the tree. he'd gotten you a few things, but when he checked the tree last night, there definitely wasn't that many gifts there last night.

you sat down in front of the tree, grinning. "looks like santa stopped by."

austin looked at you confused, sitting down in a criss-crossed position. seeing the gifts, the idea of santa actually coming and bringing him gifts all mixed with the excitement of christmas was almost overwhelming for him. but he needed to hold it together, hoping he could find time to slip by himself later today. his thoughts were interrupted once you placed a small gift in his lap, smiling wide.

you noticed how off he was and decided to rip it off like a bandaid, having the first gift he opens be one for his little self.

he unwrapped the tiny box, careful of not ripping up the bow and setting the tinsel aside. panic arose once he opened it, revealing a small, glow in the dark paci with little stars on it. "i-what-" he stuttered, looking at you with concerned eyes.

"you don't have to tell me now. you can explain things to me when you're more comfortable, but i just-i don't know. gotta be better than just using your thumb, 's got germs and everything."

austin just wanted to cry. not sad tears, but happy tears. he just stared at the paci in awe, the feelings in his head finally coming together, as if it a switch were flicked on in his brain. his glassy eyes met yours, unsure of what to say. "'s not weird?" he finally asked, still in denial of how accepting you were of him.

letting out a gasp, "weird? of course not! i love my little baby boy, i would never think he's weird."

his lips perked up at you saying the words, pointing at himself.

"yes that's right! you're my baby boy and i love you so so much." you smiled. "in fact, how about another gift? hm?" you dug through the gifts and handed him another one, a slightly bigger box wrapped in santa themed paper. he opened it excitedly, gasping and pulling out his new plushed friend, a puppy with brown flappy ears. "did santa bring you a new friend?"

too far gone in his headspace to reply, he hugged the stuffed, plush puppy close to his chest as bounced happily, babbling tiny little 'thank you's. you'd never seen austin so happy and so comfortable around you. although you had gifts for big austin as well, seeing little austin enjoy every single plushie, toy, and sippy cups that you had gifted him as a way to show you cared was all you needed to make this christmas the best one you've ever had.

#austin x reader #austin butler x reader

[tonberry-yoda]

LIST OF CHARACTERS-

Leorio

Kurapika

Wing

Denki

Sero

Shinsou

Bokuto

Osamu

Sugawara

okay this was quite the list and definitely took me a bit to choose, but I ended up choosing Bokuto!! I love him so much and havent wrote enough for him!!! thank you so much for supporting me and my writing this year it really means a lot!! happy new year @duckymcdoorknob and i hope you have a great rest of your week <333

You rubbed your hands together, able to see your own breath in the freezing cold air.

Another year. Yippee.

You weren't upset for the new year, just... lonely. Ever since you graduated high school, you haven't seen Bokuto. You knew he was busy with his new lift and moving on to do what he has always loved most, but a text would've been nice. Maybe even a visit.

But for now, you stood alone as the leftover Christmas decorations shone brightly and the people around you counted down from ten.

A new year. A new start. There were people to meet and new things to do. You could definitely handle it, even without that goofy owl.

You heard the crowd around you shout "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" and you set off your own popper with a soft smile.

"Happy new year." You heard a delayed voice behind your ear. One that you knew quite well.

You swirled around and beamed from ear to ear. "Bokuto?" You felt like a total baby, but there were definitely tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

"Hey, y/n." He quickly wrapped his big arms around you and placed a kiss on the top of your head. "Sorry I didn't visit or anything. I've done a lot of training camps and stuff. Believe me, I wanted to. But I heard that you were going to be here tonight, so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity."

With no hesitation, you slammed your lips to him, pulling him in by the shoulders. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, holding you close.

When you pulled away, you couldn't stop smiling. "Bokuto, don't go running off on me again. At least text or something."

He smiled and held out his pinkie.

"Pinkie promise."

~~~~~

haikyuu masterlist --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

#this one was really fun #writing #fanfic #my writing #fanfiction #<3 #i hope you enjoy #and happy new year!! <33 #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #bokuto #koutarou bokuto #bokuto x reader #koutarou bokuto x reader

[soft-boi-eli]

can i pls get some cc! techno x ftm(or male in general) reader where they chill on a stream and are really fluffy??? ur writing is amazing btw (｡’▽’｡)♡

Yea. And thank you so much!

Not proofread or edited due to ✨stress and anxiety✨

Tw:none just pure fluff, well mentions the word pain bur that's it.

Yeah hope your guises Christmas was good. I'm posting that at 4am so noice.

He's my lap warmer.

One thing you love about techno, he was normally faceless. Meaning you could just lay there and soak up his warmth. Enjoy the company. Watch him wipe the floor with these noobs.

That was if you were silent. Today you messed up. It was a mincraft stream. You thought that he was muted. "I'm cold. And in pain can you help me." Your voice was tired. You appointment for your first testosterone was tomorrow and you just wanted his company.

"Yeah. Just come here." His voice was tense.

Not knowing why you just casually climbed into his lap, ear to his heart, staddling his waist as you just lay there. "This is my boyfriend. Or as I like to call him my personal lap warmer." You hummed lightly as you looked at the screen.

"He's honestly one of the best people I know. Love him to death. He's helped me so much and now I'm helping him through what he needs." Facecam was on and he wasn't muted. But chat was spamming alot of supporting things.

You never really had an issue with chat. That was due to the fact that you never really were noticed. Then a dono came up.

"To your significant other. Blood king, queen, thing, or God/goddess of blood? Due to your status to our blood God."

Ah.

Thinking for a second you decided. "God of blood. Anarchy for life." You were quick to speak.

"You sir are correct." Techno spoke. Looking down to you. "So how do you like my lap warmer guys? He's amazing eh?" Chat was exploding.

Ever since his cancer diagnosed he's been tired, but he's going strong. There was no reason for him to give up now, you, his fans, his friends. the blood god will never die. 

“hey. i’m not a lap warmer only you ass.” lightly pushing his head away from you he laughed. “oh come on you’re warm and comfy to me. let me joke around about it,” with that you gave a pout and rolled your eyes. 

chat was booming with the issue of a ship name. “guys guys, their the anarchy parents, or the anarchy dads.” laughing lightly at the names you spoke, “anarchy dads, that sounds better then anarchy parents. how do you feel about that techno?” he hummed slightly. “if thats what they decide on i cant stop it. so as long as you feel okay with that im good.” 

chanting through out the chat, then a discord call. philza minecraft’s name was on one of the desktops, one that was opened to discord. 

answering it with his free hand techno was quick to greet him. “hallo!” you nodded, “philza minecraft has joined the call. pog!” you spoke. 

“ah hello. i had to check in on you guys, it seemed your stream was booming quite a bit. had to check in.” such a dad.  “yeah. (y/n) decided to join in and it seems like the chat loved him.” 

“i can see that.” waving to the camera you relaxed a bit more, “i havent seen your face before. but i can see why techno brags about you.” ah yes, techno’s bragging, it’s something that happens alot when you lay on his lap when he does stream. it was one of your favorite places. 

“yeah. when he does brag im normally exsiting on his lap, either watching him or sleeping. it’s kinda weird to hear it,” you streched slightly. “but it assures me that im not the only one that thinks so highly of the other.” 

“so you think of him just as highly? it seems nearly impossible with how much he talk about you.” you could hear the smile in his voice. “yeah. but i dont really brag that much. just kinda vibe here and think that im saying it.” techno was starting up a game of bed wars.

“ha. you’re gonna wipe the floors with these noobs.” you smirked slightly. 

“you are quite correct.” techno was fast to speak up, anwsering you.

“techno we’re stealing your boyfriend. he’s ours now.” you looked at the screen, your face resting in a upset look. “im not going to go. he’s my boyfriend and i love him too much.” you spoke. 

god even if you werent such a secret now you loved techno too much to leave him. and you were staying with him. no and if or buts about it.

hello people. as it gets closer and closer to my appointment on the 27th of january, i get more and more scared and all. so im sorry it’s take me a bit to finish up my request right now. 

and thank you for people who are being paitent with me. 

eli out.

#mcyt fluff #techno x reader #mcyt #techno mcyt #technoblade x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #technoblade

[imbrium-mare]

A Thousand Sunsets

Marauders era

Hello. So I havent written a proper fic in AGES, let alone published one, but the jily discord had me all emotional today and this just kind of happened. Basically birthed from (1) my anger that lily's life was never expanded upon other than where it related to guys, (2) the absolute tragedy of nearly an entire group of friends dying at twenty one and what it would be like to survive it, and (3) @sirenicc and @thequibblah s amazing fics about death in the first wizarding war. I'll edit and post it on ao3 tomorrow, but its half past two and I wrote this on the notes app on my phone in the park closest to my house and I really should be getting to bed, so you can have this for now. Major character death and angst to follow. Let me know what you guys think!

Mary Macdonald didn't cry at funerals. It felt like too much of a spectacle, there with all the other mourners around her. She felt as if she was performing her grief, like she was taking the attention off of the dead. She always waited until she was home, with her pillow and her tea and the memories of her loved ones crowding her. But not at the funeral. Never at the funeral.

Except now. Mary stood off to the side in the cramped graveyard, tears streaking her red cheeks. The early November wind had long since numbed her nose, but she knew that if it hadn't she'd feel it running. On the horizon, behind the church, the sun was setting. The sky streaked red and orange above her, unusually clear for winter in England. Mary took it as a sign. She had insisted they postpone the burial until after dark. Lily loved sunsets, and she deserved to watch this last one.

Hell, Lily deserved a thousand sunsets. She deserved a lot more than that, deserved to laugh again and hold her son again and dance in the rain again. But all Mary could give her was a sunset and her tears.

The funeral was packed. Wizards filled the cemetalery and crowded the streets outside. More than tears, she heard laughter. Children oohed as Ministry wizards Transfigured the war memorial in the square into a towering replica of James and Lily, baby Harry in their arms. A group of young wizards behind her were discussing what charms would conjure the prettiest, most long lasting for their party later tonight.

Mary was crying, but she wanted to scream. Because you're not supposed to cry at funerals. Because this wasn't any fucking funeral, it was Lily's fucking funeral, and didn't they understand that?

But she knew she couldn't blame people for celebrating. Not when the war was over and Voldemort was gone. The relief coated the air, had started to settle into her muscles. And she was happy, she supposed, that her friend would be remembered. That she'd saved the world. That so many people had come to see her go.

But that was the thing. The Lily they were celebrating wasn't Mary's Lily. Their Lily was a loving mother, a selfless woman who'd taken a killing curse for her son. Who'd sacrificed everything for the world. Their lily was young, and beautiful, and kind. And sure, Mary's Lily was all those things too. But she was so much more than that.

Her Lily was eleven, all messy morning hair and knobbly elbows, yelling at Mary for not doing her Potions' essay last night before relenting and handing over her own to be copied.

Her Lily was thirteen and jumping excitedly on her four poster bed when Mary told her that Fourth Year Amos Diggory had asked her to Hogsmeade. Then she'd climbed down and turned the dormitory upside down helping Mary pick out an outfit.

A month later Amos was seen snogging a Fourth Year Hufflepuff, and it was her Lily that held her as she cried and cursed his name as creatively as any thirteen year old could.

Her Lily was fifteen, hiding behind a tapestry in the fifth floor corridor and hexing Mulciber bright purple after she heard what he'd done to Mary the previous day. Mcgonagall knew who'd done it when no one on the staff could reverse the spell, but her Lily had held her head up high and denied it. She was stuck in detention until the spell faded two weeks later, but her Lily didn't care.

Her Lily was sixteen and admitting that ok, maybe James potter wasn't that bad.

She was seventeen and dragging Mary and Alice and Marlene out onto the grounds for a snowball fight when they should have been studying for NEWTS.

She was eighteen, drunk on firewhiskey in a Muggle parking lot, helping Sirius charm the heavens into opening up above them so she could dance with James in the rain.

She was eighteen and one day, curled up in bed with a cold and a hangover and cursing Mary for letting her drink so much.

She was nineteen and spinning in a white dress, he laugh filling the air and her smile brightening the room.

She was twenty and standing by Mary as they buried Dorcas, then the Prewett brothers, and Benjy Fenwick. Not Marlene Mckinnon, though -- Lily wasn't allowed to go.

Her Lily was twenty and in hiding with her son and her husband, trying to stay alive, and she wrote Mary about toy broomsticks and Christmas ornaments and her crazy old neighbor.

Her Lily was twenty one and dead. Her Lily was twenty one and she was smart and brave, and funny, and she gave the best hugs. Her Lily was sentimental about the seasons changing and watched the sun set from her Dormitory window every day for seven years. Her Lily got loud when she was angry and cried when her sister didn't come to her wedding and liked reading Muggle classics and hexing any asshole who hurt her friends. Her Lily had given birth to the only known survivor of the Killing Curse, because that was just something Lily would do, and that was all anyone could talk about. That was all anyone would remember.

Except Mary. Mary remembered Lily alive, not just dead. Mary remembered Dorcas and Marlene and Alice, who couldn't even remember her own name. Mary had to remember, because if she didn't, who would?  And Mary had to cry, even if she never cried at funerals, because near everyone else was happy.

She watched as the sun disappeared below the horizon, and the sky went from red to pink to purple. She imagined Lily, on the window ledge in their dormitory, clutching a book and staring dreamily at the sky.

Mary joined Remus, and together they levitated the two caskets into the grave. And just like that, her Lily was gone, and she was still crying.

Mary Macdonald went home, eyes dry and head aching. And when Godric's Hollow emptied out, and Lilys name was just a footnote in a History textbook, she made sure to watch the sunset and dance in the rain and read all her best friend's favorite books. Because if she didn't, who would?

#lily evans #james potter #marauders #maruaders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders angst #major character death #minor character perspective

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

i have realized i never specified and didnt see the post abt it so FUCK ME LOL

anyway i meant more or so a pessimist, has a habit of drinking, is REALLY dumb sometimes, and gets angy a bit easily(i dont know if that accurately describes tom cause i havent been in the fandom long, but yeh) -coke

Ah okay! Thanks 👌

Request: Eddsworld boys with an S/O who acts like Tom

.......

Tom: You two are pretty much twins! Not that he minds it. You both get drunk and do silly things together. Plus you share a hatred for Christmas, which makes Tom especially happy bc that means he can wreck shit alongside you. Definitely a match made in heaven.

Matt: You two are basically that "no energy/lots of energy" meme. Matt's always trying to drag you into random shit and you're just like "ugh, lame.." He's determined to make you smile (tho he gets scared whenever you're angry).

Tord: "You know, you remind me of that stupid Tom..but you're way better than him." Is the only genuine compliment he's given you thus far. But you're just like "cool" and ask if he wants a drink. From a distance Tom is fuming bc you act like him but Tord never treats you like shit.

Edd: So you're like Tom? Neat! At least you're not a clone in disguise or else that would be a problem. You tag along in the random adventures and honestly? You've been a lot happier ever since you two started dating. Oh, and you'll give Eduardo hell if he's ever rude to your bf.

#clanask #coke anon #eddsworld x reader #ew tom x reader #ew matt x reader #ew tord x reader #ew edd x reader

[blxetsi]

armin arlert, mikasa ackerman, and eren jaeger polyamorous headcanons (modern au)

armin arlert x gn!reader, mikasa ackerman x gn!reader, eren jaeger x gn!reader, mikasa x armin x eren x gn!reader

warnings: uhh fluff, this is very long, reader has a gf b4 getting w ema,

this is like my first post since feb that isnt a request 😍😍😍 how did i pull this out of my ass

- obv eren, mikasa, and armin have been besties since childhood so its no wonder they all got together first 🤩🙏

- and theyre all hot so why wouldnt they wanna date each other

- i think armin and eren wouldve gotten together first, and then invited mikasa into their relationship

- the three of them have been officially going steady for like over a year now, and its going really well

- they didnt really expect you to drop into their lives tho

- youre an old friend of historia's and you two reconnected after you moved to the city, securing yourself a decent paying job working as a writer for the city paper

- you usually get the boring stuff, never able to get a good story to write about, focusing your time on heartwarming stories in the community or the sports column

- its boring but it pays the bills

- you were thankful when historia called you during your lunch and asked if you wanted to get drinks at a bar with her and a couple of other friends

- of course you said yes

- so historia and her girlfriend ymir picked you up after work, having dinner with them after a long week was the best, but you were a bit nervous to meet all of their friends

- thats how you met eren, mikasa and armin

- at first you were sure that mikasa and eren were dating, seeing as mikasa had her head on the taller man's shoulder, while his arm was wrapped around her

- but when armin leaned down to give mikasa a kiss before heading off to the bar you werent so sure

- ymir pulled you away to get more drinks and explained to you what the situation was, while commenting on the way you gawked at the three of them before

- you were embarassed to say the least but they didnt bring it up that night so you hoped the throuple didnt notice (they did)

- you really hit it off with all of them though, especially sasha and jean, and were constantly talked about among the friend group

- because of your demanding job dealing with writers block and deadlines you couldnt really meet up with all of them often, usually just having sleepovers at ymir and historia's apartment, the three of you drinking while you wrote on your laptop

- after a couple months of casual hangouts with historia and ymir and their friends, you kinda became one of them too which was nice

- you were added to the groupchat, you all followed each other on social media, and a certain brunet had taken a liking to you

- eren didnt know why exactly he was so attracted to you but he was, maybe it was your hair, or how pretty your skin looked even when oily or with breakouts, maybe it was your smile or your body or your sense of humor or you kindness or maybe it was all of it

- eren jaeger would always stay faithful to his boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe they could add another person into the mix, more to love right ?

- he had only known you for a couple of months though, he didnt want to jump the gun and bring this up with his partners so soon, especially if they didnt feel the same way he did

- and it would be a bummer if you turned out to be a bad person or smth

- so summer rolls around with lots of memories being made with your new friends, as well as friends from work, and you get a girlfriend ??

- shes not really your girlfriend you two have only been out on a couple of dates and she kisses you a lot but, you havent talked about labels

- one night you, along with your friends are back at the same bar where you first met them

"so, tell us about the girl youre seeing." ymir says, smirking over her beer.

eren's ears perked up at the mention of you seeing someone. "girl ?"

historia nodded. "mhm ! y/n's been talking to someone recently, they've gone on dates and kissed and stuff."

"and stuff, jesus tori you make it sound like we've had sex." you sighed.

the blonde just laughed, leaning her body onto her freckled companion.

"well ? what about her ?" eren asks. armin slapped him on the arm, already having suspicions about eren's interest in you.

your shoulders sagged. "well, she's great and everything, truly..."

"but ? is there a but in this ?" connie asked. sasha started laughing at connie's use of the word but, while jean slapped the girl on the arm because of her reaction.

you shrugged, swirling what was left of your fruity cocktail in your glass. "well, i'm not sure. she's very lively, and sweet. but i don't know, i just don't see myself being able to be in a steady relationship with her."

"so you're gonna end it ?" eren asked. you thought he seemed a bit too eager about your failure in the love department.

"why do you care so much ? you like the thought of me being lonely ?" you shot back, before downing the rest of your drink.

"no i just-"

"i think what eren means is," mikasa intervened, her smooth voice calming you as she looked at you with a smile on her face. "is that there's no point in staying with her if you can't see yourself with her. don't lead her on."

you nodded. "you're exactly right my friend. which is the plan for tonight because i," you quickly checked the time on your phone. 8:17. "have a date with miss molly at nine, so i will be taking my leave."

the group engaged in a chorus of boos for leaving so early, while you chuckled and took the lighthearted insults thrown at you by sasha and connie with ease. grabbing all of your things you put down two twenties onto the table. "i'll see you guys later, have a goodnight." as you walked off you heard jean yell "have a good time you heartbreaker !" making you shake your head

- the date with molly went less then well. she yelled, and cried, and even tried hitting you at one point. your walk back from the park was spent blocking her on every form of social media you followed her on, and when you got back to your apartment you spent the night in a hot bath before retiring to bed

- meanwhile, armin and mikasa were trying to pry the truth out of eren, who was constantly denying his attraction to you

- finally mikasa took one for the team "eren, you aren't alone with the way you feel, i do too." this made eren more willing to open up to his partners

- armin doesnt say anything about you, only saying how youre kind. he doesnt feel the way that his girlfriend and boyfriend do, but he knows that may change

- soon enough, more time flies and christmas rolls around, with you all deciding to have a secret santa get together.

- historia invites everyone to her home on christmas eve, with ymir begrudgingly allowing it

- bertholdt and annie come too, reiner not being able to make it due to going home for christmas, while everyone else decided to stay in the city

- you picked out your secret santas at the beginning of november so you would all have enough time to find something for each other, you hoped whoever picked your name gave you something good

- after hours of games and karaoke and drinking you all decided it was time to open the presents

- ymir got socks from bertholdt, connie got an ugly beanie from ymir, historia got new pens from mikasa, mikasa got knitting needles from annie, annie got a dumbell from eren, jean got a not so appropriate t shirt from connie, jean gave sasha more comic books, armin gave new stationary paper to bertholdt, sasha gifted you that new biography you've been wanting to read and you gave armin your old copy of frankenstein by mary shelley

- he was surprised but very thankful, "how did you know i needed a new copy ?" "well i remember you said eren spilt water on your old one, and the pages just stuck together so i thought you might as well have mine"

- it warmed armin's heart that you remembered something so insignificant, and opened him up to the thought of being with you

- the rest of the night was spent with hugs and thankfulness, cheering when the clock struck 12 and it became christmas day

- after getting things cleaned up everyone decided it was time to leave, with armin, eren and mikasa offering to give you a ride home

- a ride where armin straight up kissed you in the backseat

- you stopped him of course, thinking that it was weird he would cheat on his partners right in front of them, while they were shocked all on their own for different reasons, armin who didnt have feelings for you KISSED you

- and surprisingly armin took the lead in explaining how he felt, why he kissed you, an apology for doing so, and an offer to start dating all three of them

- your heart was pounding in your ears and your entire face felt hot, it was probably the alcohol, or the way his lips felt so soft when they touched yours, so you said yes.

- its not smooth sailing from there

- youre kind of awkward

- this is your first relationship where you really feel like you could love these guys (you already do) but its also your first relationship with multiple people

- the trio start inviting you over more often, soon for sleepovers, and start inviting themselves over at your own place, mainly eren

- he just comes at random times, sometimes when youre not even there and waits for you, or stays and cleans up a bit before leaving

- armin and you share a deep love of literature, and you often find yourselves in hot debates about whatever youve read (mikasa and eren have to pry you two away before things get physical)

- mikasa likes to cook with you, she shares recipes that her mom taught her, and her and armin love to cook dinner together whereas eren is the breakfast maker of the household

- the first time you slept in the same bed as them you were so nervous your whole body thumped to the tune of your heartbeat, you were convinced armin could even hear it as he was laying beside you, but eren wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his large chest before whispering "youre as stiff as a board, relax honey"

- eren snores, mikasa drools, armin has those dreams where you fall and then violently wake up before you hit the ground

- slowly but surely you stop thinking about your relationship as the trio and you, but as all of you together, and that really helps you come out of your shell a bit

- you may still be in the honeymoon phase, and there may be bumps along the way, but you like being with armin, eren, and mikasa. they make you so happy, it feels like the happiest youve been in a long time

- you like watching eren and armin dance in the living room while you and mikasa cuddle on the couch, before the boys pull you two up as well

- you like when armin reads to you, his soft voice reciting the words of the great gatsby

- you like it when eren can just tell youve had a rough day, and pulls you into a hug like hes protecting you from all the bad things in the world

- you love being with them. you love them. and you think that theyre it for you

i rushed the ending bc im fucking tired but i kinda wanna do a poly!series with like sasha, connie and jean, or annie, bertholdt and reiner, or any other poly ships u guys may request !

so yeah pls give me feedback it rlly helps me figure out whether you want a polyamorous series (or just like what i write in general), and it would be my first series ever which would be super cool anyways

yeah requests open for poly!ships anyways

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager headcanons #mikasa ackerman headcanons #mikasa ackerman x reader #armin arlert headcanons #armin arlert x reader #armin attack on titan #mikasa x reader #attack on titan mikasa #eren x armin #eren x mikasa #mikasa x eren #mikasa x armin #armin x eren #armin x mikasa #eren x mikasa x armin #eren x mikasa x armin x reader #polyamory #polyamourous #polyamorous #poly!aot

[freebooter4ever]

I called my grandma while i was on the hill today watching the sunset. We chit chatted for a while and then she brought up grandpa - and i'll always be honored that im one of the few she can talk to about this stuff - she doesn't like to discuss serious things but after going through grandpa's whole hospitalization and deterioration and the aftermath together mostly just her and i, i think she feels like she can be open with me.

I also havent changed my book of face photos since 2018 (my grandpa died dec 31 2017), i rarely go on the site anymore i set up insta so that it auto posts the main things, but yeah i cant bring myself to make my profile photo not grandpa and i when we 'snuck' the 63 mustang out of the garage and went on a cruise to mt rainier (Grandma definitely knew lol)(lucky for us we didnt have any issues or break down or run out of gas bc i dont know if she would have come rescued us haha). The 'cover photo' i put up to go along with this is a photo of them that started out as a joke - grandma is terrified of flying but grandpa's passion has always been flying/space. And its a photo of the two of them walking through a 70's era plane holding hands with the joke being that the only way we can get grandma on a plane is when it's parked in a museum.

Grandma told me tonight when she goes to the grocery store or out walking with my aunt, and she sees older couples who are just sort of existing near each other or walking at different speeds or whatever...that she remembers how she and grandpa would always hold hands. How grandpa would always come find her in a room if they were seperated for longer than an hr. Just that connection - really truly a couple. They never did anything without each other. And they actually enjoyed it. Grandma once told me that everything even the little day to day things were always exciting with grandpa, and that lasted for over 60 yrs of marriage.

Its a small miracle that grandma has lived this long without grandpa, i still feel like im waiting for the other shoe to drop. She seems happy, but there is something missing. I mailed her a bunch of photos i printed for her of them and the house and things - i was always taking photos of them and they would laugh at me because they didnt like having their photo taken at the time. And initially i sent printed photos to my aunt, hoping she would tell me which ones were the best and if grandma would like any. And of course grandma was visiting when my aunt got them, so i was immediately ratted out and grandma requested the photos for herself too.

There was one photo of grandpa and grandma on a 'christmas boat' in lake union - which was one of THE most magical christmas's i've ever had - just me, grandma, grandpa, my aunt and her family. And we had a heck of a time convincing grandma the boat was safe, but she relented and she enjoyed it because she got to sit inside and listen to a live choir. And that was where i took the photo, just them sitting in the very middle of this medium sized boat so grandma couldn't see out the windows, and grandpa was smiling. And grandma says this photo is now her favorite because there are so few photos of him smiling, and she apparently keeps the print framed by her bed and tells him good morning/goodnight every day.

The boat was actually one of the times i got the feeling that grandpa understood that his son was kind of falling down on the dad job - there were a lot of things grandpa stepped in for: he taught me how to drive, he was the one who came to my high school graduation, he was the one who heard all about my first career woes when i lost my job. My dad did a lot too, obviously, but grandpa understood how lonely i was during that time, how much work my dad and brother could be. Though i dont think it was till the year he died, when i spent more time with him living in their house, that grandpa realized my ambition and drive was equal to his own when he was my age.

I miss grandpa, both in that big abstract grief way. But also in the day to day silly way where i just miss being able to make him and grandma laugh - whether through my stories and antics while i was living with them for that year. Or before that largely through the photos and posts i would make for them to read (i lived in pittsburgh for 10 yrs, they were in seattle so i only saw them twice a year during my vacation days). (my grandma's current request is that i 'explain' my photos more nowadays, apparently lately my posts have been too vague and mysterious. She was REALLY confused about the cairn city dinosaurs and the photo i took of buster keaton's lamp)

The ghost feeling i got after grandpa's death is starting to lift. I still feel a little seperate from actual existence, and the pandemic certainly pushed me back into that unexpectedly, but i think despite the setback getting more of a 'normal' life will be easier this year. Yesterday was actually a good start - i met a bunch of people i dont think i was a complete social reject it was the first time ive done anything on the anniversary of grandpa's death and i only had a few moments during the night where i was worried i'd break down in tears. Overall decent.

One of the weirdest things, considering how quiet and simple my grandparents preferred life, is to think how even with grandpa gone. There is still a part of him - the biggest part of his intellect really - that will go on, maybe forever. And that's the lunar rover still out there on the moon. Only one part of his space contribution but a part that is physical and enduring.

#Journal shit

[jimmymcgools]

Director's commentary on the Twenty-Sixth of December from missing scenes series? 🙏

yesss! don't mind me working through these so slowly, i'm using them as nice little writing breaks 💖

this is a cool choice for commentary, i havent read this since i posted it and i've forgotten a lot, so it almost feels like reading a brand new thing? i remember i wanted to write a soft christmas oneshot, especially because the christmas chapter of safs was that sad 1979 flashback with angsty teen jimmy mcgill and his sads.

“Hey,” he says. He grins, and it actually reaches his eyes. They crinkle.

i wanted this to stand alone if it needed to, but in the wider acb context i don't think jimmy's smiles have reached his eyes for a while! this comes right after the end of chapter 15, when he's just had some fragile validation from chuck and reconnected with kim.

She takes the bowl and the two spoons. Their handles are criss-crossed.

idk why but this always makes me think of those shots in the show of their two briefcases lying together!

with the kim pov stuff, i often try to keep the descriptions limited to simple physical descriptions of things. just their tangible properties like colours or positions, but still try to draw mood from that? i don't know if that makes any sense. it's a little challenge.

From somewhere in the darkness, he pulls out a long-sleeved shirt, one she hasn’t seen before. It’s purple and white and blue, densely patterned. He slips his arms into it with his back to her then turns toward the room, looking down at his fingers as they do up the buttons.

slippin jimmy voice: they have this one shirt that costs one thousand dollars because the pattern's SO wild! i want that one SO BAD!

“What is that?” she says, leaning her head closer. “Is it paisley?” He looks down again. “I think it’s purple?”

s6 give us more dumb dumb jimbo, please, i dare you. "finish... translating?"

“Hey,” he says, settling beside her, “the ladies back home loved this.” “Sure.” She scoops another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. “Sure they did.”

oh for kim to hear that little speech he gave the skate rat twins. all the finest babes. ok buddy sure. and everyone in the bar stood up and applauded.

“Maybe we had an extra round at Arno’s that night,” he adds, eventually. “Threw bottles against the wall. Like fireworks, right?”

a reminder of the story he tells her before the HHM party!

He chuckles and nudges her. “Oh, I meant yesterday.” Yesterday? (And she hears a phone ringing, hears the shrill bell of it on the wall, and she knows who’s on the other end of the line, knows without knowing how she knows it.)

oh shit i'd forgotten how much fun this little technique of intrusive kim thoughts is!

this is making me want to do another kim pov thing. i love thinking about this kind of narrative voice stuff. even that "Yesterday?" is kind of surprising, like suddenly her thoughts are allowed in the narration in a totally transparent way, and then the bracketed part is like... something poking at the back of her mind, even as she tries not to think of it. so much fun.

Lifts her hand from his leg, pressing it to his cheek. Transferring warmth from one place on him to the other.

obsessed with these two each thinking of the other as a source of warmth and light

(And she wants to know how he managed to get through so much life but still look like that, because even when the dark spots come over him it’s still a bright kind of darkness, she thinks, bright and loud like back-alley fireworks.)

aw man, this really condenses so much of their relationship for me.

i love thinking about like... scenes presented in jimmy pov where he's deep in the throes of an emo fit, but from kim's pov she still sees the bafflingly optimistic and scrappy dude who never quits. i really love the thought of this bright golden thing being there in him, that he never sees in himself but kim always sees.

Into his neck, she murmurs, “Yeah, who’d miss this?” and she can feel his laughter on her lips against his throat.

always happy when i can get these two memeing during sex

(And the heaviness of him on her surrounds her, closes her in, closes her in the way you close a circle, in the way you close a door, because being closed is just the touch of things connecting, right? And she can feel everything closing to one warm layer and spreading beneath her skin, closing inside her and him amongst it.)

ahhh i forgot i went on such a tear about this! there's like this duality of meaning that i'm trying to pick apart. you hear the word "closed" and you think inaccessible or cut-off, but it also means things connecting. two things have to touch for something to be closed. i don't know!

“Jimmy,” she murmurs, and he smiles like he always does when she says his name.

this is another one of those things where like... i love to picture acb/safs/siaml jimmy smiling a little identical smile every time kim says his name, and we don't know he's doing it because he doesn't think of himself doing it, but kim sees it every time.

She can feel the closeness spreading beneath her skin again, and it’s like she’s the warm one now, like she’s the one passing the heat through to him, as she finally reaches down and tangles her fingers in his hair. Holds him in place.

LISTEN i know this is him doing down on her but are these not also character arc words??? no???

He hums, and then softly: “Merry Christmas.” She runs her thumb along his crown. “Not Christmas anymore, you know.” He shakes his head, hair catching in her fingers. “It’s still Christmas on the West Coast.” “Ah,” she says. “The west coast. Of—where, exactly?”

i love this dynamic these two do of like... one of them consciously playing the straight man and the other being silly. it's too cute. i love that they trade off the straight man role, too.

His face draws together. And he murmurs, “D’you think his name was really McDuck?”

poor sleepy jimmo is very concerned about this.

oh man, thank you so much for picking this one for the commentary! like i said, i hadnt looked at it since i posted it, and i usually dont enjoy reading over my stuff but i had a really nice time going through this one 🥺 so thank you!

#asks #anon #directors commentary #my fic #mcwexler #long post

[x-lulu]

hii y’all, so I wanted to say thank you to some people and wish them a lovely new year. we of course have to deal with time zones and different religions that have influence on when the new year starts, so i’m just gonna post it now.

I love you all, to some I talk every day, to some just a few asks so now and then and others presence I just enjoy on my dash, nonetheless I love all of you and I’m grateful you put up with my shit haha x

I also wanted to say a quick thank you to all the lovely anons, your asks make my day and I’m honoured that you take time to send me some :) so thank you and I hope y’all have a lovely 2021!! ofcourse I wish everyone a happy new year as well, all my followers, everyone on this site, no matter who you are have a wonderful 2021 and may you get all the love and happiness you deserve x

@rafej-cambanks​

dani, my older and wiser sister! I love you, I haven’t been texting you as much as i used to sorry, i think we’re both quite busy. anyway this doesnt make me love you any less, i love you lots bby! you were one of the first people that welcomed me, supported me and cared about me, most important of all, you were the first that gave me the feeling i wasn’t completely worthless and that you did that means so much! you are such a talented person and your writing is incredible!! but the most amazing thing about you is how lovely of a person you are. you care so much and you’re there for everyone, you defend your friends and anyone who needs defending. you always know how to cheer me up with pics of your lovely princess, chels is just absolutely gorgeous!!! I think you’re a wonderful friend, someone who you can laugh and cry with, thank you, im grateful i’ve met you this year and i hope that there are a lot of conversations to come. have a lovely new year babe

@deionswannabegirl​ 

bubba, bella, how gorgeous are you ma’am????? i dont think it’s fair for the rest of us!!! i dont know where to start, you honestly mean so much to me. which may suprise you because we havent talked that many times, but i loved every single conversation we’ve had. you really helped me become the person i am, you helped me feel comfortable with my sexuality and gave me the confidence to come out to my parents, ill forever be grateful. but apart from how much you helped me, i think you are such a lovely woman, who sadly had too many things thrown at her by life. Im so sorry you’re having these hard times and i wish i could take those away from you. you are one of the most beautiful persons i’ve ever met, inside and outside!! you’re funny, you’re caring, you’re intelligent, you’re talented, you’re loving, you’re amazing bella and im honoured to have my cuddle bear be named after you hahah. I love you bub and i know it can be hard to talk to people or ask for help or just a distraction, because sometimes we dont need help or dont know what to talk about, i just want to let you know that i will always be here and i promise you can talk about anything with me, you are so strong love and i believe you will get through this and that you are gonna make beautiful memories, i love you! may 2021 be a year to make wonderful memories and may you get the love you deserve and you deserve lots of it <3

@aquariusholland​

kyr! hi! i love you and every time i see you on my dash i get a smile on my face. you really have your own sense of humour and randomness, both which i adore. your jokes make me laugh in public and people are like wtf she laughing about haha. i relate to a lot of things you post haha and while we might not talk that much, i feel close to you. you kind of feel like a sister to me haha. you’re also a queen and come up for yourself and your believes, but also in a respectful way and i just admire that about you. I hope you have a wonderful new year and that it exists of a lot more of your random asks ;)

ps. can i call you kyr bear? idk i was thinking about you and my mind went to kyr bear hahah

@https-luna

lunaaaa bby! we both thought the other didn’t like them haha, but gosh i love you 👉👈 we haven’t been talking for that long yet i think two weeks maybe? idk but you’re already really important to me! i wish i could do more for you than just listen and maybe give some advice, but sadly i cant hold you in my arms and protect you from the world. i will however always do my best and ill be here for you no matter what. you deserve the world my love and things will get better and im here along the way and so are lots of other people, you really are loved bubba!!! i also started watching hannah montanna since you mentioned you loved that show ;) and finally someone with the same love for the little mermaid hahah. I hope that in 2021 we can get even closer, but i think we’re going down the right path <3 i love you and wish you a wonderful new year with lots of love, healing and health, because you deserve it so much! you’re also so strong and i fully believe that you will get there x

@sortagaysortahigh

hey love, we don’t really talk but i wanted to add you to the list. i really admire you!! you stand up for what you believe in, you educate so many people and do what’s right in this world!! you love your friends and i believe you’d anything for them!! you’re also hella funny and seeing you in my dash can make my day. i just wanted to tell you that you’re a wonderful human being and you make the world a lot better!! i hope you keep being the amazing person you are and i wish you all the love and happiness in the world!! also you’re a badass haha, happy new year angel 🖤

@annab-nana

anna bby, you’re the sweetest person i’ve ever met!! i love interacting with you so much, you always bring a smile to my face and i believe you do that to a lot of people. you’re an incredible presence on tumblr and in the world, i believe you make everyone’s life a bit brighter and i hope i can do the same for you. on top of that you’re also hella talented, idk what god thought when he made you ;) I love that we have gotten closer in the past few weeks, i cant believe that i hadn’t made the connection between you and your sideblog hahah, but now i know you and im grateful for it!!! you’re a loving, caring and supporting lil bean and i love you! i feel like i can come with anything to you and you’ll be there for me and that is an amazing feeling, so here just a reminder that you can also come with anything to me <3 i hope 2021 is gonna be a good year for you, you deserve it!! 

ps - you’re absolutely gorgeous

@mxltifandoms06

hi sweetheart!! when i think of christmas i think of you ;) (i wrote this when it was almost christmas not new year haha) you’re such a cozy and sweet human being!! you’re supportive, caring and loving!! you always make my days better and i’m so grateful to have met you!! also your dog is just the most adorable ever!! im so glad you decided to come in my ask box and start interacting, i love you babe, i hope all the love you give you’ll receive in 2021, you’re deserving of a lot of love <3

@killingbxys

my queen! hi! we don’t talk as much as I would want to, but gosh i just have a comfortabel vibe with you, i feel like i can come with anything to you and every time i see you on my dash, asks, dm anything it brings a smile on my face. i’ve said it before, but you’re that one friend who you can both laugh and cry with. i feel like you’re this amazing presence here on tumblr and everyone is grateful to have you x i love you babe and i hope we will get closer in the new year :) if you’re up for that as well ofcourse hahah, im not going to force you to be friends with me (well... maybe i am... but we’re not gonna talk about that...). I wish you the best and i hope 2021 will treat you wonderful x

@jellyfishbeansontoast

izzy hi!! babe i love you and all your randomness, every time i see you in my dash i get a smile on my face!! also your work is incredible!!! and i love seeing you simping haha!! your whole blog is basically a mood and i love it 🥰 thank you for being your lovely self!! i hope you’ll get the love and happiness you deserve and i also hope to get closer in 2021 hehe ;) you’re just this amazing person and im honoured to be moots! have a lovely new year x

@demxters

elle my love, if we’re gonna talk about lovey and talented people ofcourse we have to add you to the list. you’re one of my favourite writers of all time, your titles, your aesthetic, your concepts, your way with words, it’s all so perfect!!! you always amaze me and then we started talking and omg you’re such a sweet person and every time i get an ask or a message from you it puts a smile on my face. i’m grateful i met you this year and i wish you all the best, i believe in you, you’re so strong!! i know you go through some difficult stuff, but i will always be there for you, remember you are worthy and so loved!!! i love you, have a wonderful 2021.

@pink-meringues

pink gosh im gonna miss you so bad, but i’m also really proud of you for doing what’s best for you and i really hope it will have positive effect on your well being and your happiness!! you’re such a loving and welcoming person!! thank you for being who you are and making so many peoples lives better, we all care about you babe!! have a lovely 2021 <3

@sunsetholland

hey love, if i’m gonna be honest here, you were the person who gave me the confidence to start being myself on this site, you probably don’t remember but once you send me an ask and wished me a lovely week, which brought a smile to my face!! that was the moment that i decided to be myself, thank you for that!! apart from that you are so freaking talented, i say it all the time but your work is like reading poetry, how you come up with your sentences i have no clue, but it’s wonderful and i’m amazed every time!! you’re also a lovely human being and your posts on my dash always make me smile!! i hope you have a lovely 2021 babe, i love you <3

@skiesofthesketchy

sky my love, you’re such a loving and supporting human being. you really bring peace on my dash and give me a calm feeling!! I honestly still can’t believe that my tumblr crush knew who I was and wanted to talk to me haha. I’m obsessed with your work and there are so many people who admire you, which you totally deserve!!! It’s almost unbelievable how talented you are haha and your music taste is also on point!! and how cool is it that you can play the guitar and have a job to do with music, I love it and you’re so talented and well deserving of every good thing that comes on your path. have a lovely new year x

@cognacdelights

hi bub, you’re one of my role models 🙈 you’re a classy badass who I admire so much, you’re one of the most talented persons I’ve ever met! you’re also so lovely and sweet!!! and you’re a really fascinating and interesting woman as well!! I wish you all the best my love, remember to take some time for yourself and try to ignore those toxic people, you’re more than enough and deserve to feel happy and loved

@mind-with-a-melody

tess, i know you haven’t had the best time lately and i wish 2021 could be a whole new start for you, sadly mental health doesn’t work that way. however i really hope it will be better for you and you’ll learn to have hope and maybe love yourself, because you are so worth it. you are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. you send love to people and make others peoples days better and that is the most wonderful trait someone can have, i believe in you, you are strong and even tho it may not feel like that but it will get better and i’m always here!! you’ll get help along the way, from me but also from so many other people who love you!! i hope 2021 will treat you better, you deserve all the love and the happiness ma’am, happy new year!!

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

hi audrey, we haven’t talked that much yet, but you’re the first blog i followed on here. you’re so talented and seeing you on my dash always brings a smile to my face. so i decided to send you an ask and then i found out that you’re a lovely human as well!! i wish you the best for 2021, you deserve all the happiness and love in the world!!

@nxsmss​ 

well lara, where do I start, last but definitely not least. I just had to put you last because I knew your message would be one of the longest haha. it feels so weird for someone to accept me completely as who i am, but you do exactly that! okay now im starting to cry again, but you mean so much to me. you’re the best that happened to me in a long long time and you’re honestly the person who helps me the most, gives me the best feelings, it’s incredible how much talking to you can cheer me up and when i think about you i start to smile (and sometimes cry hahah, jeez i come over like a cry bby, i promise im not hahaha). you’re one of the most loving and caring persons i’ve ever met. you were so welcoming since the first time we met and i feel like we kinda immediatelly hit it off. we didnt have that ‘how are you and where do you live’ kind of conversations, while there is nothing wrong with small talk, i feel like we pretty much immediatly started being our weird selves around each other and i love it. we have like three dates every week haha and those are honestly what gets me through the week. and we basically interact almost every hour, no matter if it’s trough text, snap, tumblr or tiktok hahah. ive never felt more myself, more loved or more capable than with you. on top of that you are hella talented, wise, intelligent, gorgeous, pretty much perfect ;) i absolutely love everything about you, from the clumsy stuff you do to the sweet good morning and good night messages, from the random snaps to the deep conversations, from the weird asks to just basically acting like we’re a couple hehe. i just love everything and i cant imagine my life without you, im never letting you go babe. 

@dmonchld @jiaraendgame @vintageobx @rafeyybabyy @camillemonty, @amorejjaygron​ 

we may not interact that much but every time I see you on my dash or asks or something it brings a smile to my face!! 

also @dmonchld you are my icon 🙈 and i admire you so much, im just a scared lil bean which stops me from interacting with you hahah, but you’re so strong and brave. i think you are a wonderful friend and just an incredible person in general

@jiaraendgame your music taste is just on point!! and im so grateful for you, when ive posted about tough subjects you comment and even when we didnt know each other you supported me and comforted me, thank you, i think you are this amazing person and i love every interaction with you

@vintageobx and @rafeyybabyy you guys were some of the first people I started talking to and you’ve always been supportive thank you for that!! you’re both really kind and i hope 2021 will treat you with nothing but love 

@camillemonty and @amorejjaygron you both make me feel welcome on this site and I’m really grateful for that!

i wish you all a wonderful new year and may it be filled with love, laughter and making wonderful memories 

i love you 

btw i started writing this like a month ago, because i never work on the stuff that i need to work on and knew i wouldn’t be able to finish it if i didn’t start already haha, so yeah, with some people the relationships might have changed a bit, like we’ve already become closer, but i think it’s all pretty up to date, but if it isn’t then you know that that’s why <3 and there are probably a lot of errors because it’s barely proofread and i’m a horrible at typing so that’s that 🙈

#happy new year #i love you guys #mutuals #me ranting about how i love oyu #im a simp for all of you #im terrible with words but everything i said was with the best intention and i hope i could bring the message about how wonderful you are #and how much i care about you #i wish y'all the best and i'm looking forward to more conversations and getting even closer <3

[marvelouswritee]

Shameless: Verse 2

A/N: I keep forgetting to put gifs because I havent posted in a long time. I forgot the basics of being a writer in this web/app. also i keep procastinating during christmas, which is why im posting this on new years eve sooo.... oops

Warning: pure smut and a lovey-dovey moment in the end

Summary: reader and ransom finally get together

Words: 1k+

Shameless- Teaser  - Shameless: Verse 1

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You like that?” Ransom asks as he peppers your neck with hungry kisses. You couldn’t help but squirm beneath his touch, just like every year since this one-night-stands started between the two of you. You were biting your lip to prevent any loud moans come out of your lips. “Come on, baby. You don’t have to hide.” 

“Fuck, yes, Ransom,” your lips escalated to the pleasured words Ransom wanted to hear come out of your pretty lips. You can hear the smirk formed on his lips when you said it. Ransom soon stopped peppering your neck and started traveling down to the rest of your body; stripping off your red dress as he snakes his cold hands up to your thighs. He loves relishing your body for he’s not going to see it for another year, which makes him sad because nobody is going to replace you ever. And, that’s saying a lot because it’s Ransom Drysdale. 

Ransom was teasing you by licking your cotton underwear, knowing his tongue is hitting your clit. He takes it off, revealing your drench opening. “Aw, baby, who made you this wet?” he looks up with mischievous eyes. He licks your opening to your numb clit, flicking it with his professional tongue. You discovered that Ransom Drysdale is a professional pussy eater. 

“You, Ransom.” You assumed he was going to ask you more dirty questions, but he surprised you by inserting his tongue inside your opening. “Fuck!” 

Every time you exclaim and praise his tongue, he increases the subtle pleasure he’s giving you. Not only does Ransom gives you the most memorable pussy eating you’ve ever experienced, but there are also side effects after. Your body shakes as your pussy is left numb but shaking simultaneously with the countless orgasm you experience. “So sweet,” he slurps your juices, “Who’s making you feel this good?” 

“You, Daddy. Fuck,” you pant after the first three orgasms. 

“Good girl.” Ransom licks your vagina before reuniting with your lips. “Such a good girl for me, baby. For that, you’re going to receive your reward.” 

“As if you eating me out isn’t a reward already?” you cheekily responded.

“That was your first present. Now, I’m going to give you your second.” He undresses out of his pants, as well as taking off his shirt, and teases your bare pussy lips with his freed erection. “You know the safe word if I got too rough?” You nodded, aware of never using the safe word because Ransom knows how to balance his roughness. 

Inserting his throbbing member in, you were practically preventing your deafening moans since both of you are in a hotel room. He thrust inside you harder to release those moans locked inside your mouth. “Fuck, Ransom, harder!” You know those words, the praises he wants to hear in bed. While he’s fucking you, giving it to you better than any one-night-stands you’ve ever done. “Give it to me!” 

Oh, he did give it to you. Pounding every moan, breath, and soul out of your body. When he runs out of breath, he bends down to your neck to plant kisses to still pleasure you even if he’s tired. Ransom knows he’ll never get tired of your body nor your kisses. Especially you. He just wants you all to him, never having to think about having sex with anybody else. And, whenever you’re around he manages to get this weird fluttery feeling on his stomach. He neglects it, however. 

“Shit, I’m cumming, Ransom!” you warned; his pace harder and faster for the past hour. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Fuck, me too, (Y/N). Cum with me, baby!” 

Sooner or later, the clock turning to another minute of being inside each other. The chorus of moans that was vividly loud for the next-door rooms to hear. Ransom releasing didn’t stop him from giving you love at the end for he still wants to plant kisses all over your body. He was fatigued from the rigorous exercise, but never tired from taking a minute to kiss you. He adores your kisses, always reminding him of the very first kiss. The first touch. The first time he felt the tension between the two of you.

After catching his breath, Ransom stood up and took a box out of his pants scattered on the floor. “I have a gift for you,” he announces before plopping down the bed next to you. 

“Really? Please don’t tell me there’s a cockroach going to eat me once I open it,” you tease. You never know with Ransom. 

“Shut up and open it,” he chuckles and hands you the luxurious box. It was a tiny velvet box, wrapped in a lace ribbon. It might have been a ring or a necklace, even a bracelet. But, it sure will be expensive. 

You opened it and the beautiful diamond necklace reflecting on your eyes. “Ransom, this beautiful!” The necklace was clean and shining as if you were just browsing around a jewelry store. It was a simple pick, but the shine of the diamond is just breath-taking. 

“It’s a Harry Winston,” he informs. He takes the necklace and puts it around your neck, fitting perfectly. “Looks good, (Y/N).” 

“Thank you, Ransom. Really, even if you’re such a dick.” 

“Well, look at the Harry Winston and there go my apologies.” You were relishing its beauty whilst Ransom kisses your shoulders. “And, it’s okay if you didn’t give me a present. You’re the only present I wanted for Christmas.” 

“Wow. Ransom Drysdale being a romantic has never been on my wishlist to see.” 

“I’m a spontaneous guy,” Ransom shrugs. 

After a few moments of silence, your mind wanders to the curious. “Why are you being nice to me, Ransom?” He didn’t give an initiate respond for he’s also contemplating it. Why, out of all people, was Ransom the sweet and romantic person that he is?

“Because,” he takes your face and turn it inches away from his, “I like you. And, you’re the only thing making me sane. Making me, I guess, want to love.” He confesses silently, but loud enough for you to hear. “I like you, (Y/N). Always have.” 

“Then, I’m yours, Ransom Drysdale. Always wanted to be.” 

Throughout the years of being confused with your relationship with Ransom, it all comes to an end. With him confessing his love to you, which felt like the music to your ears. You were planning on talking to him about it, either stopping this lustful tradition or being something more. But, tonight has taken another path. Turns out, Ransom can love someone instead of being a cold asshole for his whole life. He makes you feel like you’ve never felt before. And, you make him feel safe and happy. 

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N),” Ransom smiles through your kisses. 

“Merry Christmas, Ransom.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@thicc-daddy-evans​ @smyfmj

#knives out #chris evans #chris evans smut #ransom drysdale smut #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #smut #marvel #avengers #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #shameless #camilla cabello #christmas smut #new years eve

[cake-in-a-tin]

Secret Santa

This is my secret santa post for @siriuslyjames, i havent interacted with you loads but you seem lovely. have an amazing christmas if you celebrate it, and if you dont i hope you’re having a wonderful holiday :)

Lily Evans and James Potter lay side by side in the flower filled meadow behind the former’s house, underneath an ancient oak tree. It was a tradition of theirs - every year on the 31st of August they would lie together, heads buried among the flowers and grass, staring up at the oranges and pinks of the clouds in the setting sunlight. Lily couldn't believe this would be their last year at Hogwarts, and tried desperately to ignore the nagging impulse to turn and look at James instead of the clouds. 

***

So much had changed since their first meeting, which she still remembered vividly; as if it had happened yesterday. She had sat among the flowers, underneath the old oak in the middle of the field, her back against the mossy, rough trunk, desperately trying to stay in the shade, and holding a small daisy bud in her hand. It was the beginning of the summer holidays, she had endless days of nothing stretched out before her. Focusing as hard as possible on the small bud in her hand, she squinted her eyes in the way she had taught herself, and slowly but surely the small flower bloomed before her very eyes. She loved this adrenaline rush of sensing every small rustle of the leaves from the tree above, feeling the life of the daisy in her hand, and the grasses and other flowers around her. Shutting her eyes, she leaned back against the tree, breathing deeply, and gradually fell into a light sleep, when suddenly from nowhere she heard someone say, “Hello there!” 

Lily had blinked her eyes open, startled, and looked around to see who it was. Surely not Petunia, or one of her annoying little friends. He was sitting a little way away, straight in front of her. She was mightily confused, why hadn’t she heard him approach? She hadn’t been that deeply asleep. She was brought back to the present by the odd boy saying, “I’m James. James Potter. What’s your name?” She coughed slightly, still in a state of bewilderment, and said abruptly,

“Lily Evans.”

“Well, it’s good to meet you Lily. I just moved in around here, that’s why you haven't seen me before. I was exploring and I saw you sitting there. I saw what you did with that flower. I can do stuff like that as well you know. It's so cool! My dad taught me and so did my mum. Which one of your parents taught you then?” Lily sat in silence, feeling stupid that she had nothing to say. She was surprised that someone could have all of those thoughts and say so much in such a short period of time. 

“Neither of them taught me. I can just do it, my mind just knows.”

“...Huh.” It seemed that the boy, James, was speechless for the first time since she had met him. She took this opportunity to look at him, for the first time. He was quite tall, and she reckoned he was around her age. His hair was a dark brown, and very messy, as though on his “exploration” he had been dragged through at least two hedges backwards. She considered whether she could ask him if that was the case, but decided against it. He had gold rimmed round glasses that were slightly squinted on his face, and his hazel eyes had a mischievous glint to them.

“Wait- so are your parents muggles?” Lily was taken aback - was this strange boy now insulting her parents, after interrupting her one peaceful moment? 

“I’m sorry?”

“Uh, non-magical people.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” James’ eyes were wide.

“You don’t know about anything? Oh gosh, okay so… People like you and me, who can make stuff like that happen, like what you did with the daisy, they’re witches and wizards, magical people. People who can't, they’re muggles. The witches and wizards have a whole hidden world, and they’re all around the muggles, but they don't see anything.” Lily was in shock - who was this boy?

“Why are you telling me this? I don’t believe you. Why should I believe you?” She narrowed her eyes at him, skeptically.

“You’re telling me you’ve never seen something that your family didn’t or made something happen that is not explainable?” Lily thought back to when she’d seen a shop with bottles of weird substances and frogs in bowls, and cages of owls, but when she had pointed it out to Petunia and her parents they had simply looked at her in confusion, and brushed her off. Or the time she had jumped off the swing in her back garden and stayed in the air a little longer than what someone might consider “normal”.

“Well, maybe. But that doesn’t mean it's magic… Does it?” shaking her head in disbelief, Lily leaned her head against the tree trying to process the information, and contemplated James. She wasn’t quite sure whether to trust him or not. He seemed relatively pleasant, in a way she couldn't quite explain. His presence made her want to smile, and she was hooked on his words. But- that was just because he was saying such outrageous things wasn't it?

The two sat talking in that meadow until the crickets were buzzing around them and the light was almost gone. A small figure at the edge of Lily’s vision got steadily larger and larger until her sister was directly in front of her. “Lily! Mummy says you should have been home an hour ago!” Petunia was using the sing-song voice that she knew Lily couldn’t stand.

“I know Tuni, but i was just talking to- “ Lily looked beside her to where James had been sitting just seconds before, and he was gone. “Nevermind.”

She hauled herself up, her legs stiff from sitting in the same position for too long. She peered around, in the fading light, and saw a figure disappearing under a hedge at the edge of the meadow. So he had been dragged through a hedge backwards. Smiling, and shaking her head she followed Petunia back to her house, where she apologised to her parents about seven times before they let her go to her room to sleep. As she lay in the dark she contemplated all the day’s events. Was what James had been saying true? Was she really a witch? She didn’t know, but half of her hoped it was true, because the world the odd boy who came from nowhere was describing seemed incredible and free, and she so desperately wanted to explore it with him.

***

Over the next month, everyday Lily would go to the meadow and wait under the tree, and every day James would crawl under his hedge and run over to her, waving his arms like a madman. She would tease him, and they’d laugh, then spend the day talking, James telling Lily more about the curious new wizarding world, or Lily regaling him with tales of muggle behaviour or exploring the woodland, or racing to open the flower buds (Lily was better at this than James) and climb trees (James was better at this than Lily). They seemed to get along amazingly, and soon James was a better friend to Lily than anyone she’d ever known. When they had both gotten their letters from Hogwarts their families went to Diagon Alley together, and James dragged Lily in and out of all the shops, showing her the newest broomstick, and the best sweets to buy. 

On the 31st of August they had lain in the meadow, and Lily had voiced her fear, the one she had been mulling over in her mind for the past couple of weeks. “James?”

“Mm?” 

“What if nobody at Hogwarts likes me?” James propped himself up on one elbow and turned to look at her, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, I don't have magical parents, so i don't know about all the things that everyone else does. What if they think I’m not good enough, and I have no friends?” James shook his head.

“That stuff doesn’t matter. You’ve already seen you’re better than me at most of it, and everyone is starting from scratch.” He looked more serious for a second. “Even if it did matter, I’d still be your friend, so you needn’t worry.” “You promise you won't forget me?” James sat up and held up his hand.

“I swear on my life I won’t forget you Lily Evans.” She giggled and sat up as well holding her hand high.

“And I won't forget you James Potter.” He flopped back onto the ground.

“Well, we don’t have to worry about being lonely then - we have each other, always.” Lily smiled, and closed her eyes, the cool end of summer breeze ticking her face and the sound of the grass blowing soothed her ears.

***

Over the next years Lily and James kept their promise. Every other evening they would sit together in the common room or the library, talking, doing homework, just enjoying one another’s company. And every August on the 31st both of them would lie in the same meadow where they met, sometimes in silence watching the sunset, or talking quietly about the year to come.  And, along with becoming very close friends, Lily sometimes suspected it could be something more. At the end of fifth year their teasing and joking had really hit a peak, and along with it came the joke”” flirting. Well, it had been joking at first. Then Lily started to realise that she might like James as more than a friend. 

She had tried to suppress those feelings as much as she possibly could, but it was difficult when she saw him every single day, joking and laughing with his perfect smile, and dimples (why the dimples?), and his hair that he was so obsessed with. Whenever she was around him she always made fun of him and his hair, joking that she’d charm it off when he was sleeping, but really? She couldn’t have done that if she’d tried. 

Sometimes, however, she got the feeling that James liked her back. Just little things, that were probably just best friend things (at this point she didn’t know the difference), like carrying her books, and waiting for her after lessons, but she had once or twice caught him looking at her with an expression that she couldn’t quite place. Whenever that had happened he’d pulled a goofy face and brushed it off with a joke, though, so she never had a chance to see more clearly.

***

Like just now, she could feel him staring at her, in that way, even with her eyes closed. They had spent so much time together that Lily often thought that they could manage perfectly fine even if they were silenced for the rest of time. She knew what all his little facial expressions and hand gestures meant, which was how she could so easily tell what he was trying to tell Sirius across the classroom (it was usually about a prank, but she generally ignored it).

The sun had almost set, and the crickets were humming contentedly. Suddenly James broke the comfortable silence they had been in for about twenty minutes.

“Hey, Lils?”

“Mm?” It felt weirdly familiar to their first time lying in this same spot, her confiding her fears in James.

“Do you think there really is gonna be a war?”

 Of course, the topic that was on everyone’s mind at the moment. The silent thoughts and whispered conversations she heard her friend’s parents talking about when she was staying with them. 

“I think that Minnie and Dumbledore think there will be.”

“Yes, I know that much. But do you?” James was looking at her like nothing but her opinion would matter on the topic. She sighed.

“As much as I’d love to keep denying it, the Death Eaters and You Know Who are only getting stronger. It’s inevitable at this point I reckon.” She sat up and looked at him, chin in her hand. “I’m scared though.” He also sat up, mirroring her position, and smiled sadly.

“We all are Lils.” She shook her head.

“I’m a muggle-born. They target people like me, and you know it James. You heard Severus, didn’t you, I’m a ‘filthy mudblood’.” James had a pained expression, as Lily blinked furiously to try and rid the stupid tears from her eyes. She felt his hand on her free one and met his eyes, surprised.

“Don’t, please,” he looked sincere, and she could see her reflection and his eyes, wide and clear, in his glasses. “You’re way more than that. Snape’s a prick - don’t believe a word he says.” He squeezed her hand, keeping it firmly in his.

“I know he is, but I’m sure everyone’s thinking it.” She looked down, embarrassed. “Sorry, I’m sure you don't want to hear all this.” “Shut up, Evans. Of course I wanna hear it. And you really think that I’d agree with Snivellus Snape on anything?” He looked genuinely hurt for a couple of seconds. She shook her head, fighting a smile and tears at the same time. “You know what I think of you?” She shrugged.

“You're the most amazing person I know. Genuinely.” He held her gaze, “ And i know some pretty incredible people. But you’re the best by far. I think I’d know after being around you constantly for seven years. 

You’re the smartest in the year, all the teachers love you, plus, you’re a fucking badass (like damn i did not realise you could throw such a good punch). You’re so kind and thoughtful and on top of that you’re freaking gorgeous. Poor Bellatrix and all her cronies are jealous, Lils, leave some good qualities for the rest of us.” James looked a little embarrassed at his outburst but he wasn’t making a joke out of it, which meant he was sincere. He looked into her eyes, and his hazel ones were shining, as though he was fighting off tears as well. On top of all that he still had her hand held tightly in his.

Lily blushed at the intensity of his stare, but didn’t pull her hand away. She realised she should probably have said something by now, so in absence of anything else she blurted out, “You think I’m gorgeous?” (Why had she said that? Such an idiot, shit.)

“Uh, well…” James was a little red, and ran his fingers through his hair, a sign of nervousness, Lily knew. “I mean, have you seen yourself?” She caught his eye, and smiled. 

“You’re not too bad either.”

“Oh, shut up.” James rolled his eyes.

“What?” 

“You can't joke about it anymore, okay - I… I forbid it.” He stuck his tongue out at her, in the way he had always done.

“Who says I’m joking?” James’s expression changed in an instant.

“You are, though, aren't you?”

She felt her cheeks redden. “Maybe, maybe not.” He frowned and raised a finger, mimicking Professor McGonagall in an almost scarily accurate way for someone who looked so little like her.

“Miss Evans, I demand you tell me whether you are madly in love with me or not.” She grinned, and lay back down on the grass, subtly pulling her hand away from his and wiping it on her jeans. Why was she nervous? It was just James - they did this all the time. Was she going to tell him the truth? Before she would have just brushed it off, and laughed that of course not, she’d rather marry a troll, but there was something about the moment that told her she should do otherwise.

“What if I am?” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were wide, he looked rather taken aback by that statement. She smiled, sheepishly, barely able to meet his eyes all of a sudden. Why on earth was she saying all this? James was probably just messing around with her.

“Well, what if I am?” he sat back and raised himself up on an elbow to peer at her with the same mischievous glint in his eye. 

“I guess we wont know,” she mused, grinning at him, and shuffling closer, so their sides were touching.

“I guess not.” Lily stared up at the almost completely dark sky, the first star just becoming visible. She felt James take her hand, and she intertwined her fingers with his. 

Her life was full of uncertainties, but there was one thing she did know, and that was that she would stay true to her promise, the one she had made seven years ago. Lily Evans would never forget James Potter, or leave his side until the day she died.

#secret santa #jily

[ladybugsfanfics]

Shut Up And Kiss Me [14/?] | Tom Hiddleston

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

WC: 2.3k

Warnings: pining, angst, implications of sex,

Summary: You and Professor Hiddleston have been colleagues for many years now, and through those years the hatred for each other has only grown. Now, as a new school year starts, you’re being told that you have to share a classroom or a class. Neither are happy about the outcome, but knowing you’ll never come to an agreement, you let the class choose for you. Team-teaching is rare in 2019, but it is a lot harder to do when you can’t stand the person you’re doing it with.

A/N: so this is late, and i havent posted anything in like two weeks, but school’s crazy and im kinda tired but this is finally here and i’ve reached 1k followers. I don’t know if i’ll make something out of it but thank you to every one who is following me and i hope you enjoy this part ^_^

Little goes through Tom’s mind when he wakes. Surprise catches him at the feel of someone lying in his arms, and more surprise at the unfamiliar room he’s in. Tom looks down to see who’s cuddling into him, whose fanning breath spreads across his chest.

His breath gets punched out of him at the sight of Y/N. Her hair tangled, arm draped over his bare torso, and heavy breathing mixing with the hammering of his heart.

Oh, God. He didn’t…?

But Tom knows he did. He didn’t drink. The events of the previous night flashes through his mind. How she’d asked if he could drive her home, how she’d needed help to get inside, how he’d watched her fiddle with her keys before getting open the door. He remembers the way his chest beat so rapidly, waiting for that inevitable goodbye that was doomed to come.

Everything stopped working inside of him when she pulled him into her doorway, when she tugged at his tie and made the motion to look up. Adrenaline had coursed through his body when his lips met hers. The five years of pining and trying to get over the painful breaking of his heart had been swept to the side. When she’d deepened the kiss with her arms wrapped around his neck and a jump before her legs were wrapped around his waist and his hand had come to cup her ass and they’d moved to the bedroom, lips still locked together, had been the most intense moment he’d ever experienced.

The picture he saved in his mind of her naked body in bed pops up and Tom has to shake away the thought.

This isn’t happening. Y/N had been drunk. She is with Chris. It was a mistake, clearly. A drunken one.

And he’d made the mistake of indulging.

It takes him only a second to make up his mind. He does his best to peel himself away from her, gaze flickering to her every moment just to make sure she doesn’t wake up. Boxers on, trousers on, shirt wrongly buttoned, a quick grasp of socks and jacket, and he double checks his wallet and phone are still there, and knowing he has his belongings, he soundlessly slips out the door.

Only a week left before Christmas break. Only a week where things might be slightly awkward between the two of them. Only a week to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do now.

This isn’t the way it was supposed to happen.

---

Awkwardness is the least of Tom’s worries, apparently.

When he makes it to the classroom before class on Tuesday (and mind you, he hasn’t seen Y/N since before they fell asleep Saturday evening), he’s met with the pleasurable yet very frightening bright smile Y/N sends him.

“Hey,” she says, eyes lighting up with a passion Tom hasn’t ever seen before. “We haven’t talked that much lately, but I thought we had some time now.” She hands him a paper. “I wanted to talk about the upcoming exam, and how to best prepare them to get the best possible grades.”

Tom takes the paper she hands, and sees a list of suggestions. The title reads Tips To Get The Best Exam Results. He nods slightly. “Sure, sounds good.” His voice sounds weird to his ears, lighter than normal. He coughs slightly, and tries again. “Did you have anything specific in mind that we should focus on?”

Nope, still no good.

But if Y/N noticed, she doesn’t say anything, the smile still brightly lighting up her face. “Just thought we could go off the list, really. Something I threw together on Sunday. Already had a rough draft, but you know, can’t stop working.” She tips her head a little, almost a shrug but not really one.

He’s tempted to ask her; if he did something wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have left her apartment? Maybe they should talk about it?

Tom looks down to check his watch. Still fifteen minutes until any students are supposed to make an appearance. That’s more than enough time to talk about the incident, more than enough, only how does he start―

“Tom?” Y/N waves a hand in front of his face, her own searching for a response.

He shakes his head. “Sorry, what?”

“Just asked if there was anything you thought I’d missed. I want your input.”

There’s something so completely foreign to that sentence that Tom freezes. Even if they were making progress with how well they got along, he’d never actually thought she’d willingly ask for his input. Especially not after he left her apartment after a (great) round of sex and hasn’t actually talked to her since―as far as he knows, most people don’t like that.

However, he has to pull himself out of his head. So he shakes his head (no, he has not read the list) and just gives her a weak smile. “I’m sorry, I’m not really present today.”

“That’s okay,” she says, smile back on her face, though more sweet and less bright. Almost bordering on saccharine. “Can’t always be present, can we? I bet you had a pretty rough Sunday, too. Might not have had that good a Monday either?”

Tom raises a brow. “Rough Sunday? Were you very hungover?” Yes, he avoids the questions. He needs to know if there’s a possibility she doesn’t remember. Of course, that would only make matters worse because he would feel compelled to tell her.

Y/N scrunches her nose a little. “Not that much. I didn’t drink a lot, with the exceptions of the shots I took, but honestly, without them I’d never dared to kiss you either, so… kinda thankful.” And as she talks, her demeanor changes. Tom starts to wonder if she wasn’t being passive aggressive all this time with her sweet voice and big smile.

“You… uhm.” Tom’s words don’t work. Or maybe they don’t exist.

“Yeah, great night, actually. You know, other than you walking out on me, but I can’t blame you.” She shrugs. There’s nothing close to hurt in her voice, nothing close to anger either, really.

Tom has to swallow, because he feels like there’s something more she wants to say and he’s not sure the tug at his heart can take it if she does. Whether that’s a bold reveal that she does, in fact, not like him, in any way, or if it is that she likes him. But what if she likes him only sexually? Will he indulge?

“You know?” she says and takes a step closer to him. “We got about ten minutes. Or more, if we lock the door.” A finger comes up to drag down a little of the shirt he wears, exposing some of his chest. She doesn’t say the last words, but Tom can hear them.

His heart beats rapidly in his chest. Her fingers dance with flames as they graze across and trace their way to his chin. A firm hand takes hold of it, steadying his gaze into hers and he’s not sure he can say no when she licks her lips in that way.

God, his pants are tight.

When he lets her tug him down to ghost her lips over his, he knows he’s screwed. He’s breaking his own heart, breaking the pieces he thought were mending slowly but surely, breaking the trust he put into himself to be strong enough to resist the temptation.

But when Y/N’s lips graze past and connect with his neck, he can’t control the impulse that makes his hands fly to her hips to pull her flush against him. His hands graze the lining of her shirt, and he knows they don’t have time for teasing or foreplay or anything Tom really enjoys.

He doesn’t care. He gives in, succumbing to the desire that resides deep within him. If the only way Tom can be close to Y/N is by being a fuck buddy, he couldn’t care less. At least he gets to be with her.

---

By now, Tom would be home. He’d be with Bobby, cradling the dog into him to gain the cuddles he so desperately needed but didn’t get from the person he most wanted.

Yet, Tom isn’t home. He’s still at the office, slumped down in his too small couch with its too lumpy cushions and too hard armrests. It was the first thing he’d done when he got back after the Creative Writing class. Mostly because he needed time to think, but he can’t think because all that’s on it is how good those ten minutes before class started had been.

God knows he loves foreplay, but God knows they hadn’t needed it.

It’s not like that isn’t what he wanted to think about, it’s just that he can’t stop thinking about how it felt, instead of thinking about what this means for him. For them. For Y/N: His mind should be travelling through all the consequences of such a relationship. Or his mind shouldn’t only be focusing on the positive consequences.

He should focus on how this might rupture the steady going of an actual friendship (with the hopeful something more), but instead he can’t stop thinking about the feelings that rushed through him when Y/N’s lips had press to that spot on his neck. He can’t stop thinking about the throbbing in his abdomen, the swirl of hurt and guilt and arousal deep within his gut, the adrenaline that rushed through his body knowing she wanted him.

However, the one thought (that’s a mixture of positive and negative) he can’t let go, is that she avoided kissing him. She avoided pressing her lips to his, despite the obvious passion that had come from it on Saturday. She almost avoided his face entirely (the slight hint of a red mark on his neck―that one of their students had pointed out over the course of the class―isn’t necessarily unwanted).

But that feeling, that deep, deep longing that had accompanied the kiss on Saturday (no matter if it was prompted by alcohol), he missed that. He wanted it. He still wants it. He wants all of it. More than just friends with benefits, more than a casual relationship, more than… He isn’t even sure exactly what it is they do have.

Maybe they have something that can lead somewhere? Maybe they have something that won’t continue? Maybe they have something―  

Tom’s train of thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. He scrambles to sit upright on the couch (though he nearly falls off). And, with some sense of dignity still left, he says, “come in.”

The door opens agonizingly slowly. Tom has a silent wish of it being Y/N wanting something more, but he also has a huge wish it’s Benedict and that he can talk to his best friend about the problem that is eating away at him.

And thank God, his prayers are answered. Benedict fully steps into the room and gives Tom a quick once up. He raises a brow and smirks slightly. “And what did I walk in on?” he asks.

“Nothing.” Tom shakes his head. “No, there is something. You have time to talk or did you just come here for a favor?”

Benedict closes the door and sits down in the chair at his side of the desk. He turns it to face Tom and leans back, arms crossed over his chest. “I was coming in here for something else, but you look like you need to talk more. What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Of course it is. Did something happen Saturday?” Benedict raises a brow.

Tom nods, slowly. “We… uhh, I don’t know how to put this, but… we, uhmm…” He takes a deep breath, unsure of how to say the words, unsure of Benedict’s reaction. “We slept together.”

The man’s eyes go wide, and a frown comes through on his face. “Like in the same bed, or the… you know?”

“We had sex, and then fell asleep afterward. Why would we just sleep in the same bed?” Tom shakes his head at his best friends.

“I don’t know. Maybe there was something else.” He shrugs. “But that can’t be everything.”

Tom presses his lips together. He drapes a hand across his face, a sigh accompanying the gesture. “We did it again. I guess you could call it a ‘quicky’. In the classroom. Before our students came in.”

“Is that the reason for the red mark on your neck?”

“Yes.”

When Tom looks up to meet Benedict’s gaze, it feels almost like the older man is mocking him. The teasing, and halfway disappointed, look on Benedict's face is tantalizing.

“She or you initiate?”

“Her. Both times.”

“But the first she was drunk?”

Tom nods. “She had a mistletoe in her doorway. I guess it helped when I followed her up to her flat, seeing as she couldn’t really walk.”

Benedict chuckles. “Are you going to keep it up?”

A sigh falls from Tom’s lips. “I don’t know. Should I?”

“Is it worth it?”

Is it worth it? Is it worth the ache in his heart when she looks at him as if he holds everything she desires but not the part he wants her to desire? Is it worth the stab in his gut when her lips don’t connect with his? Is it worth the scorching heat that comes off of her fingers grazing his skin, of her hands studying his chest? Is it worth his heart leaping into his throat because she feels so close yet so far away? Is it worth it, if his heart will only break past redemption in an effort to be close to her even if it’s not in the way he wants?

“I don’t know.” Tom shakes his head. “What if it’s the only way? What if that’s my only option to be close to her? What if I lose everything if I stop it?”

Benedict smiles, but whatever is really on his mind, he doesn’t say. “Tom, be real. Is it worth it?”

He takes a deep breath, unsure of his answer. Unsure until his lips part and the words carry around the room.

“Yes.”

permanent tags:  @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @heartislubbingdubbing @wiczer @chillcan @geeksareunique @fandom-imagines1

Tom tags:  @inlovewith3 @bookgirlunicorn @mindlesschicca @justawriterinprogress @wolfsmom1 @loser-alert @satanskatze @timetravelingsociopathicwalker

suakm tags:  @plooffairy @just-the-hiddles @jennytwoshoes @lokissidehoe @fruitfly123 @princetale @scorpionchild81 @noplacelikehome77 @winterisakiller @lostsoldieronahill @nonsensicalobsessions @cherrygeek86 @louhpstuff @olyamoriarty @sunshinein17 @kthemarsian @kumikowi @secretcupcakekitty @buckygrantbarnes @josis-teacup @runawaygiirl @januarycalendargirl @funny-fangirl @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpiomindfuck  @dr-kayleigh-dh @inmyworstlies @twhgirl @maah-chan @florencia93c @i-am-a-mes @o-deya @eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @cantaloupewatch @carpediem-spero @createdbyanintensenerd @beananacake @lysawayne @nightrose64 @bradfordbantams @feyre-thehighlady @thundermaximoff @lys-syl @beenthroughalot @xrainydazeteax​ @mautand​ @coldbookworm​ @cursed-moonstone @justanobodyinthisbigworld​ @holyodepius​

[segernatural]

Char, firstly please accept all of these hearts for that ask that made me smile so much: 💕💞💓💗💖. Secondly, I love your long tags on spn posts so much. You’re always so articulate and smart! I’m rewatching the show at the moment (got up to around 10/11 when I was watching it as it aired) and it’s been a trip and a half. I’m nearing the end of season 3 so I’m very excited to see a certain angel soon. I was wondering if you’ve watched the whole thing or you’re still getting through it and if so how far you are at the moment? I’m enjoying getting back into it a lot more than I thought, like there are moments that fall a little flat but also good moments! Dean is definitely still more interesting and likable next to Sam for me, I’ve found. Have a good day, my friend! ☺️💕

Aww nina! I'm so glad that it made you smile😊 we always have such wonderful interactions that i was like 'nina wants to know why i follow her? Time to send some love!' 💛💛

I really do appreciate that you take the time to read my little essays in the tags! They're a lot of fun for me to write--i tend to have a lot of thoughts on things, and you saying that they come across as articulate and smart really warms my heart :D i try my best!

Wowie you're going through the rewatch fast! I 100% get that feeling of being excited to see Thee Boi. He's wonderful, and Lazarus Rising is an amazing episode.

I'll let you in on a bit of a secret: i hadn't watched spn at all until the craziness that was November 5th. There's a few layers to that though. I have been a part of online culture since like, 2013, so due to cross-fandom contamination, i've been aware of supernatural for a very long time. In fact, when i heard it was having its final season, i vowed that i would check in on the fandom after every episode--to pay my respects, in a way. This fandom is responsible for trailblazing a lot of what fandom exists like today, so i wanted to check in and see how folks were doing.

Which means, while i had little context, i was around for the big moments of season 15. i felt the highs and lows, just not as deeply. I didnt even know its final eps got delayed, until the night of november 5th when the world was holding its breath.

Thee scene was my first ever spn scene. And it was such a ride to be a part of the experience of that night--i had heard theories and things from the show, but i was like i *have* to know how it got there. Bc i couldnt believe (in a good way!) that fans were right.

Bee and i had a breakdown over it all--and we kind of havent stopped 😂 i ended up watching both 15x19 and 15x20 *live on television* despite not seeing the 325 episodes that preceded them.

I wrote meta before even watching a full episode.

And that christmas, i decided that i was gonna commit to watching the whole show. Bee's doing a rewatch, whereas i'm seeing it all for the first time.

I take copious amounts of notes while watching--screenshots, commentary, quotes, the whole deal. And it has been an absolutely fascinating show. I'm not really a horror person--ive never seen a horror movie. Early seasons spn is not a show that i would normally watch, but because im paying such close attention and taking apart the layers, it has been a lot of fun. Ive been genuinely having a great time. It's so interesting to know bits and pieces of this show--plot points, scenes, characters--by cultural osmosis by being in an online space, that i know some of what happens next, despite never actually seeing it.

As to where i've gotten? We're at the season 4 finale tonight!

There's something about all three of our main guys that fascinates me--although i am a self-admitted dean-coded casgirl. Currently we've got all the actors giving it their all, which just makes the characters so compelling. Jackles throws his heart into dean from the get-go, which instantly made me very intrigued by his character, and s1 doesn't do a lot with sam, other than he's kind of there. S2 and 3 sam is really, really interesting, and he shines in episodes like Roadkill and Heart, along with Memory Spot. There are aspects of sam that i definitely relate to, and i really like him! I also, unfortunately, have eyes, and cannot look past how awful his hair was in 1-3, and the 2005 styling of the wardrobe was not good 😂 we've gotten to better hair but he still can't dress himself.

Dean is a fascinating character. He's a walking contradiction that shouldn't be as compelling as he is, but jackles does a fantastic job at piecing together this man that is intricate and understandable. As sort of implied by the self-diagnosed 'dean-coding', i feel like i have a grasp on how he thinks and operates, which means i am with him on every decision he makes. It all makes so much sense. Even if it hurts. His hurt strikes me to my core. Also, the wardrobe team doesn't usually do dean dirty, and jackles pretty, so,,, 😂

I've only just started to truly get to know cas, but his ideologies in the show conflict so much with the boys' and its just fascinating to watch. Its an opposing side, in a lot of ways, but its a very rational one. And getting to watch him fall for the first time, while knowing the Truth, is incredible. Misha is phenomenal as cas, and i can't wait for more. I love our lil gay angel. He is Thee Boi. Amazing. 11/10.

I could talk about this for ages, clearly 😂

I'm glad you've gotten into the show again! It truly has been a mindblowing experience to go "wait. The show did that. Really?!?" And have the rest of the fandom go "yeah! They did!" And to fully realize how not exaggerated any of their thoughts are. Its literal text in the show, that the network and writers try to avoid. Like. I get it now. I one thousand percent understand why people shipped and continue to ship dean and cas FROM THE FIRST EPISODE with them together. It's electric.

Ok i was gonna stop and then i got going again 😂

Thank you for this lovely ask nina! I wish you the best day as well :D 💛

#wow this is a literal essay aaaa im sorry! #just filled with love and appreciation! #natigail #spn #char speaks #long post #ask #answered