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cheetee · 2 years

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Writing questions 24 and 10

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

There are lots of pieces of writing that stick in my mind for various reasons, but taking this as "writing that had a haunting emotional impact" rather than "writing that was really really scary"? The Iris arc from the webcomic Monster Pulse. Slightly obscure, not objectively the saddest thing I've ever read, but to this day the only time a book or comic has ever made me cry. It was about the death of a sibling, and also the death of a child, which are two things that get to me. The death was depicted so calmly, so without melodrama, but with so much heart and love poured into the character who died that it really stuck with me.

Scary writing, though? All of Stephen King's The Stand. That shit is my worst nightmare literally ever and I don't know why I read it. Sometimes I have to stop myself thinking about that damn book. Fuck you Stephen King.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

It's very difficult for me to separate the processes of "figuring out what to write" and "writing" - the two go hand in hand for me. But very rarely am I sitting down, say, making a mind map of plot ideas for whatever. I just spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to write.

But I do synopsise my plots before I write them! Here's the synopsis I wrote for Birds of Paradise. This synopsis probably took... less than an hour? But was the culmination of weeks of mulling and reflecting over what I did and didn't want to happen. Notice, also, that most of the story's key details are in here, but several pivotal things are missing. For a start, Beatriz is evil here, and was going to be evil right up until just after she was introduced. You'll also notice that Bruno and Mirabel's arc here is about Mirabel making a snap judgement, not about Mirabel's lack of regard for her own safety. Both of those changes just came naturally through the process of writing.

(wow, it's longer than I thought it was. I'll put it under the cut for anyone interested, but it's just a wikipedia-style summary of what happens in the fic with some slight variation.)

Mirabel enters the kitchen and sees the three Madrigal uncles pooling their money. She asks what they’re doing and is told that they’re trying to figure out their assets. Abuela arrives and asks the same question, and the three men tell Abuela that they’re mindful of the mountain pass being open, and it has occurred to them that they should be saving money in case one of the children should ever want to pursue a future outside of Encanto. Abuela is skeptical of the idea, but brushes it aside. She tells Bruno and Mirabel that she wants to talk to them. She explains that a scientist from outside the Encanto has arrived and requested a meeting with the Madrigals, and she’d like both Bruno and Mirabel present, surprising the dads and Mirabel, but not Bruno, who is apparently accustomed to playing this role.

In the meeting room, Abuela goes to greet their guest and Bruno explains that this was his usual role prior to his absence. Mirabel wonders why she was invited, and Bruno tells Mirabel that she is likely to take Abuela’s place in the future as head of the community. Mirabel is shocked and her feelings are mixed, but their guest arrives before she can think about it too much.

A white Englishman introduces himself as Professor Richard Dunnock, an ornithologist from the University of Bogotá. He explains that he is investigating this area as a habitat for the rare Andean Bird-of-Paradise, only rumoured to exist. He reveals that the locals have told him about the magical origin of the area and requests the family’s permission to look into it scientifically. Abuela sharply rebukes him and he respectfully agrees to only perform his normal investigation. Abuela tells him that she is willing to permit it, and she will ask two of her grandchildren to guide him around the area. Mirabel notes that this is probably to stop him if he does anything undesirable. Abuela asks Mirabel to fetch coffee while she goes and talks to Luisa.

Mirabel does, and while returning, overhears Dunnock and Bruno speaking. Dunnock asks Bruno if he would consider using his gift for scientific advancement, to Bruno’s horror. Mirabel intervenes. Abuela brings Luisa and the meeting progresses, and Mirabel quietly suspects that Dunnock’s motives are less than pure.

Mirabel takes her suspicions to Bruno (who is unsuccessfully monetise his glass visions). Bruno initially refuses to look into the future, but at Mirabel’s pleading, has a vision of one of the nearby ponds seemingly consumed by a strange gunk, with all the surrounding plants and animals dead. Bruno laments the negativity of this vision. Mirabel asks they should stop Dunnock, and Bruno cautions her against seeing what she wants to see in the vision. He explains that his visions are always true, but they’re not always straightforward, using a clumsy trouser analogy to explain that the visions can mean a variety of things. He cautions Mirabel against making any snap judgements, and she reluctantly agrees.

Mirabel goes to Isabela and voices her suspicions about the strange scientist. Isabela is skeptical, telling Mirabel that she is listening too closely to Abuela, and the modern world is very different from the one they grew up. Isabela takes Mirabel to the nearby city of Érendira to meet her friends and to privately investigate Dunnock. Mirabel meets Beatriz, Bubo, and Hana, known colloquially as the Cachilos because of their incredibly shitty car. She also meets Beatriz’s father, Simón, an alchemist with whom Isabela has gotten especially close. The Cachilos say that they briefly guided Dunnock around town and that he was researching something about water sources. Mirabel asks where exactly he was researching and they give her the location of a nearby pond, which Beatriz says is somewhere her family often grow and forage water-based plants. At her urging, Bubo takes her to the pond, which she finds is choked with a mysterious purple slime that has killed off all of the surrounding plants and fish.

Later, Mirabel, Isabela, and Bruno return to the pond and determine that the slime is an algae. Mirabel also learns that Bruno and Isabela’s gifts don’t function outside of the Encanto. Mirabel repeats her suspicions of Dunnock, and again Bruno cautions her against jumping to conclusions; Isabela, on the other hand, is moved by the destruction of wildlife and takes Mirabel to Simón with a jar of the stuff.

Simón identifies the substance as an algae called Scariia, an ecologically deadly substance which takes root if provided with a specific mineral mixture. Simón confirms that it wasn't there before Dunnock arrived, and suspects that Dunnock would have the knowledge to plant it there, but has no idea why. Mirabel wonders if Dunnock plans on doing something to the water in Encanto.

Mirabel and Isabela go to Luisa and asks her about Dunnock's activities, and Luisa confirms that Dunnock seems to be looking for the source of Encanto's water, because apparently his bird dwells near mountainous lakes. Luisa defends Dunnock, saying that he seems like a nice guy, and that he even offered to give Antonio some tutoring (much to Antonio's delight). Mirabel points out that Dunnock might be looking to exploit Antonio's gift, but Luisa is skeptical. Mirabel asks about the lakes they’ve investigated already, and Luisa describes them.

Mirabel gets Isabela to help her check several of the ponds, without success. They also stumble across another lake, which Isabela identifies as the source of all the Encanto’s water. Isabela notes that if the Scariia were to reach this particular lake, it could poison the entire valley. Mirabel and Isabela agree to keep the lake a secret from Dunnock. Isabela attempts to seal off the lake with plants, but find that it lies just outside of the boundary of her powers, to their surprise. They visit one final site on their way back home, and find to their horror that it matches the vision that Bruno had, and Dunnock appears to have a small research station set up there, currently empty. Isabela and Mirabel split up to find help; Isabela goes to Eréndira, while Mirabel goes back to the Casa Madrigal.

Back home, Mirabel meets a tearful Luisa, who says that she lost Dunnock and Antonio in the forest and she heard terrible sounds that she worries were gunshots. Mirabel, Luisa, and Bruno rush back to Dunnock’s research station, only to find Dunnock himself bound and gagged.

When they free Dunnock, he asks worriedly after Luisa before revealing that he was attacked by a man who he thinks must be responsible for the Scariia infestation. He says he successfully held off his attacker for long enough to allow Antonio to escape, but he is afraid that his assailant has plans to poison the valley. Mirabel urges Luisa and Bruno to take Dunnock home while she goes to Eréndira and finds Isabela. Bruno tries to refuse, then tries to accompany her, but she points out that his priority should be finding out where Dunnock’s attacker went. However, when the rest leave, Mirabel takes Dunnock’s machete and heads to the lake which she knows she must defend from Dunnock’s attacker, who she has identified as Simón.

Mirabel arrives at the lake to find Simón has Isabela captive. Mirabel threatens Simón with the machete, and Simón responds by threatening Isabela’s life and tells Mirabel to stand aside while he infests the lake. Mirabel sees that Simón and Isabela are close to the boundary of the Encanto, and begins to goad Simón into bringing Isabela closer, in the process nearly causing Simón to attack her. Her plan goes awry, and she finds herself having to defend herself from Simón. However, she is unexpectedly rescued by Bubo, Hana, and Antonio, who revealed Beatriz’ real nature to them and took them here. They pull Isabela into the boundary and she destroys the components Simón needs to plant the Scariia. Bruno appears and scolds the fuck out of Mirabel.

Back at the Casa Madrigal, Abuela, Luisa, and a now-healed Dunnock meet Mirabel and the rest. Dunnock thanks her for her heroism, and offers to have Simón and Beatriz arrested in Erendira. Bubo, Hana, and Dunnock agree to keep the magic a secret. Bruno expects Abuela to reprimand Mirabel for her carelessness, but instead she thanks Mirabel for her ingenuity in preventing disaster. Bruno protests, and Abuela points out that Bruno should have more faith in his niece, whose carelessness has yet to get her into any trouble that Bruno can’t save her from. She tells them that the two of them will clearly step up when their time comes to lead the Encanto.

The next morning, Dunnock prepares to return to Bogotá, having decided to give up the search for his bird-of-paradise, which he decides is best left a secret. He tells the Madrigal men that he has no children of his own, but is happy to use his own means to support the madrigal children in the outside world. He reiterates his offer to Bruno to use his gift for science, and when Bruno refuses again (advising him to be less ominous), Dunnock asks Bruno instead to keep in contact with him about the present instead of the future.

In the epilogue, Mirabel, Luisa, and Isabela all talk about their plans for the future. Mirabel says that she wants to stay with her family in the Encanto, whereas Isabela wants to see how far she can go with her art and her plants. Luisa admits that Dunnock offered her a place at the National University, but she isn’t sure what she wants. The three sisters agree to help figure things out together, and that the future need not be set in stone.

#asks #my writing

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shezzaspeare · 3 years

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Pilot/Episode 1: Patching Things Up With Pastiche & Fanfiction

Hi, hello, and the wait is finally over! My name is Blessie, and welcome to the first episode webisode log installation I've decided to call these things an episode for now because why not also let me know what do you actually call these things episode of The Science of Fanfiction, where we take a closer look into our beloved works of fanon because we've all got plenty of time to spare till Season 5. Before I continue, I would like to thank everyone who's liked and reblogged the last few posts before this one. It means a lot for a small and growing Tumblr user like me, and your support is something I cherish more than my modules. You guys rock!

Anyways, like with most things, we have to talk about the boring and bland stuff before we proceed with the fun stuff. For today, we are going to settle the difference between a couple of things: first being the confusion between pastiche and fanfiction; then the distinctions between tropes, clichés, and stereotypes, which we'll tackle the next time. It's important for us to establish their true meanings in order for us to really understand what fanfiction truly is, even if it's merely just a work done for the fandom. I know – it's boring, it's something that shouldn't be expounded that much, but I believe that all forms of writing (unless it's plagiarised) is a work of art — and fanfiction is not something we always talk about. I hope that by the end of this, you'll learn about what they really are as much as I did. Let's begin to talk about the—

[Image ID: A flashback of John (left) and Sherlock (right) finding an elephant (not in the screen) in a room in The Sign of Three. End ID]

. . . I did say that this GIF will always have to make an appearance here, didn't I?

So, just as with Sherlock Holmes, all other works of fiction have their own pastiches and fanfiction, and many more original works out there have taken inspiration from them to create their own books. Although they've gained popular attention, this will not be possible if they did not have taken inspiration from the materials their writers had at the time.

[Image ID: Various actors as Dracula. Jeremy Brett in 'Dracula' (1978) (upper left), Adam Sandler in a voice role for 'Hotel Transylvania' (2012) (upper right), Gary Oldman in 'Dracula' (1992) (lower left), and Bela Lugosi in 'Dracula' (1933) (lower right). End ID]

For instance, Bram Stoker's 'Dracula' (the second most adapted literary character, next to the consulting detective himself) has been portrayed on the screen over 200 times — from Gary Oldman to Adam Sandler — and has spawned off numerous books and pastiches of its own such as Stephen King's 'Salem's Lot'. Its cultural impact served as a basis of how we see vampires today, since some characteristics of the Count were made by Stoker himself. Stoker's creation is the brainchild of his predecessors and inspirations.

[Image ID: Vlad the Impaler (left) and a book cover of 'Carmilla' by J. Sheridan Le Fanu (right). End ID]

Other than the ongoing hysteria over dead back then and the existing vampire folklore, Stoker also took his inspirations from the published books on vampires he had at hand. He is said to have taken inspiration from Vlad the Impaler, a Romanian national hero known allegedly for having impalement as his favourite method of torture. He is also said to have been inspired by the J. Sheridan Le Fanu's 'Carmilla', a Gothic lesbian vampire novella that predates Dracula by 26 years. I could go on, but hey, we're going back to Sherlock Holmes now before I deviate any further. However, if you want to know about Dracula's literary origins, I suggest you watch Ted-ED's videos about the subject matter such as this one or this one.

Very much like Stoker, ACD didn't just conceive Holmes on his own. He took his own inspirations from what he had available at the time.

[Image ID: Dr Joseph Bell (left) and Edgar Allan Poe (right). End ID]

As we all know, ACD's biggest inspiration for Sherlock Holmes was one of his teachers at the Edinburgh University, Joseph Bell. He was famous for his powers of deduction, and he was also interested in forensic science — both characteristics which Holmes is greatly known for. He also drew inspiration from Edgar Allan Poe's sleuth, C. Auguste Dupin ('The Purloined Letter' & 'Murders in Rue Morgue'). As ACD himself has said at the 1909 Poe Centennial Dinner: "Where was the detective story until Poe breathed life into it?" Some other writers he took after are Wilkie Collins, Émile Gaboriau, and Oscar Wilde.

Now, what does this say about us Sherlockians/Holmesians (depending if you're the coloniser or the one that was colonised)? Basically, ACD laid the groundwork for us with Sherlock Holmes: his humble abode 221B that he shares with his flatmate Dr. John Watson, his adventures, memoirs, return, casebook, last vow, and all that. Now that we have this material at hand, we can now make our own versions, takes, or even original stories featuring the characters of the Canon. Our inspiration comes from ACD's Sherlock Holmes, and we now get the chance to make our very own stories/conspiracy theories about them.

As I have mentioned earlier, Sherlock Holmes is the most adapted literary character in history. He has been adapted in over 200 films, more than 750 radio adaptations, a ballet, 2 musicals; and he's become a mouse, a woman, a dog, even a bloody cucumber. On top of all that are numerous pastiches and fanfics, and finally, we have arrived at the main topic of our post!

Fanfiction and pastiche are often confused together since they have three common elements: they take after the original work, they usually use the characters in that original work, and more often than not do are they set in that same time frame/period or not long after that. The common misconception is that pastiche are printed fanfiction, which is only partly true. While pastiche is definitely fanfiction in some ways and vice versa, there are fanfictions out there that aren't necessarily classified as pastiche that have been published.

Let's get on with our definition of terms to clear up the confusion a little more. Pastiche, according to Literary Terms, is:

. . . a creative work that imitates another author or genre. It’s a way of paying respect, or honor, to great works of the past. Pastiche differs from parody in that pastiche isn’t making fun of the works it imitates – however, the tone of pastiche is often humorous.

A good example of a pastiche is Sophie Hannah's 'The Monogram Murders', which is her take from Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot.

[Image ID: A book cover of 'The Monogram Murders' by Sophie Hannah. End ID.]

Although this was a commission from Christie's estate, it's still considered as a pastiche as:

It's takes after Christie's writing style;

It is set in the early years of Poirot's career (1929), which is still within the time frame that the author wrote him in;

It features Poirot and;

It pays respect to Christie in a sense that it stays true to her (Christie) characters and way of storytelling.

Meanwhile, our good and slightly unreliable friend Wikipedia defines fanfiction as:

. . . is fictional writing written by fans, commonly of an existing work of fiction. The author uses copyrighted characters, settings, or other intellectual property from the original creator(s) as a basis for their writing. [It] ranges from a couple of sentences to an entire novel, and fans can both keep the creator's characters and settings and/or add their own. [ . . . ] [It] can be based on any fictional (and sometimes non-fictional) subject. Common bases for fanfiction include novels, movies, bands, and video games.

To avoid any copyright infringement issues if I ever use a popular fanfic in the fandom, we'll use my (unfinished and unpopular) Sherlock Wattpad fic, 'Play Pretend'. You can read it here.

[Image ID: The second self-made book cover of Blessie/shezzaspeare's 'Play Pretend'. End ID]

Why is it considered a fanfiction and not a pastiche?

It takes after an adaptation of Sherlock Holmes (BBC Sherlock) which is a TV show, not the ACD canon itself;

The author (in this case myself) uses her own writing style and does not take after the original story's style;

Although it is set well in modern-day London and after Season 4, it also features scenes decades before the actual fanfic is set and outside of London;

I added a considerable number of characters, i.e. siblings to canon characters;

I had my own take some of the canon characters' personality especially after the events of Sherrinford;

It is written by a fan – myself. It is a work of fan labour and;

It is only a work of fanon, and isn't likely going to be considered by the show as its writing style is different from the actual show.

To put it simply, you can have more freedom in a fanfiction as it does not necessarily restrict you to follow or take after the original stories. Alternate universes (AUs) such as Unilock and Teenlock are perfect examples of this thing.

So can a pastiche be classified as fanfiction? Yes.

Can a fanfiction be classified as pastiche? Not all the time.

What's the difference? While yes, they share the basics, pastiche is technically leans more onto the original work's fundamental elements whereas fanfiction is a broader range of works inspired by the original work but doesn't necessarily follow all or any of its fundamental elements.

In order for us to understand it more, I'll give another example.

[Image ID: The 'Enola Holmes' title card (upper left) and Henry Cavill as its Sherlock holmes (upper right). Underneath it is a a scene from the opening titles of BBC Sherlock (lower left) and Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes in A Scandal In Belgravia. (lower right) End ID]

Most of you are familiar with these 21st-century adaptations of Holmes: the 2020 adaptation of Nancy Springer's Enola Holmes books and BBC Sherlock, which needs no further explanation – but for those who don't know, it's basically Holmes and the gang if they were alive today. I specifically chose these two as they are the ones that I believe would get my points across best. Though both are considered as wonderful pastiches with a well-rounded cast and awesome visuals, if we break them down bit by bit, we'll see which one is more of a pastiche and which one is more of a fanfic. (Yes, I know they're both screen adaptations. However, as Enola Holmes was based on the books and BBC Sherlock's fanfiction has the show's scenes written out in most fanfics, hear me out.)

They share these characteristics of a pastiche:

They feature characters from the Canon (Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, and Lestrade);

They have additional characters added by the writers (Including but not limited to Molly Hooper, Eurus Holmes, and Philip Anderson for BBC Sherlock while Enola Holmes has Lord Tewkesbury, Eudoria Holmes, and Enola herself) and;

They pay respect to the original Canon as their stories are based on the cases (BBC Sherlock) or simply what was going on around them (Enola Holmes).

They also share these characteristics of a fanfic:

They are made by enthusiasts of Sherlock Holmes (Moffat has called himself and Mark Gatiss 'Sherlock Holmes geeks', while Nancy Springer's Enola Holmes books are not just one or two but six);

They follow a common trope (we'll discuss these tropes in the following episodes) that goes on in the fandom (Sherlock's Sister & Modern AU)

They are based on a fictional subject (Sherlock Holmes);

They used characters and story elements that are copyrighted by the author/author's estate (fun fact: prior to the production of Enola Holmes, the Conan Doyle Estate filed a lawsuit against Springer & Netflix over Sherlock's emotions since he was more 'sympathetic' than he was portrayed in the Canon – this was later dismissed by both parties) and;

Their writing styles don't necessarily follow ACD's.

Despite these similarities, there are very obvious differences between the two that separates them from being a pastiche and a fanfiction.

Enola Holmes embodies pastiche more as it doesn't stray far away from the original elements of the Canon. It's still set in Victorian England. While Springer added characters of her own and definitely twisted the Canon to suit her series, she didn't necessarily place them out of the social construct that was going on around the characters. It follows ACD's writing style more as Enola Holmes' setting still remains within the Canon's original setting.

Meanwhile, we can safely say that BBC Sherlock is a work of fanfiction. While it did give us The Abominable Bride, the main series focused on Holmes and Watson in 21st-century England, which is drastically different from Victorian England. There are phones, black cabs, and cellphones — things which ACD Sherlock Holmes doesn't have. It also diverted from the Canon in the characters themselves, which is mostly seen in the names: Henry Baskerville became Henry Knight, Charles Augustus Milverton became Charles Augustus Magnussen, the H in Dr Watson's name stood for Hamish and Sherlock's full name is actually William Sherlock Scott Holmes. They also changed the personalities of some Canon characters: Mary was actually an ex-assassin, Mrs Hudson was an exotic dancer who drove a kick-ass sports car, Irene Adler is a dominatrix, to name a few. Moffat and Gatiss created a world of their own featuring the characters of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, which is really what most of us fanfic writers do with Mofftiss' rendition of Holmes.

In conclusion: while pastiche and fanfiction could have been the same thing, they're actually not. There's more to them that just printed fanfiction or pastiche e-books, and we all should take some time to see and observe them in a closer perspective.

And that's it for our first episode! I hope you enjoyed it. It was a lot fun for me to write this, especially now that I'm only starting. I would also like to note that while intensive research has been done on this series, some parts of this comes from my own observation and opinion, which may vary from yours. I am very much open to criticism, as long as it is said in a polite and civil manner. I'm still young, and to be educated as I go is something that could really help me with this series.

Like and reblog this you like it. It helps out a lot. Be sure to follow me as well and the tags underneath if you want to see more of TSoF.

See you soon!

Blessie presents – The Science of Fanfiction: A Study In Sherlock (2021) • Next

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SOURCES • Pinterest, Google Images, Wikipedia, Literary Terms, Conan Doyle Estate, Definitions, The Sherlock Holmes Book, and Google

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annavoncleves · 3 years

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the saga of henry the young king

ok so, henry the young king, eldest (living) son of henry ii (he did have an older brother, william, but william died as a baby so in practice henry's oldest) dad's the king of england, lord of wales and ireland, count of anjou and maine and aquitaine, and eventually brittany

lots of titles, lots of sons as well, and rather than the oldest son getting everything like comes in later (unless he's an only child/only has sisters) at this point he has to share with his brothers, though he does get the Best Cut, which in this case is the kingship of england

BUT

kingdoms are a lil different to other realms, in that, whilst counties and duchys can be split whilst dad's still alive, bc those are vassals of the kingdom, the throne can't be split up, obviously

so even though henry is named 'henry the young king' (an attempt at securing the throne, after the absolute clusterfuck that happened to henry ii's mother, empress matilda, whose throne was stolen by her cousin stephen after her father's death, bc she was a) a woman, gasp and b) the lords of england didn't think SWEARING AN OATH TO RECOGNISE HER AS QUEEN BEFORE THEIR KING AND PEERS was BINDING ENOUGH, so that henry's chosen heir would. actually get the throne when he died) he has no actual power

which tbh, looking at his record, is probably a good thing, bc although he thought a lot of himself, he wasn't actually that great a leader of men

he was a very good jouster tho, but that's neither here nor there

SO. henry ii is king. henry the young king is basically the king-in-waiting, whilst all his legitimate* younger brothers get THEIR inheritances (well, richard and geoffrey do, getting aquitaine and brittany. john - later known as bad king john, yes the bad guy in robin hood, he's based off THIS john - is the youngest and doesn't get shit, gaining him the nickname 'lackland')

*henry ii was a bit of a slut, but all kings were, and was actually pretty good to his bastard sons, by the standards of the day, anyway. he made one of them an important bishop and gave the other a position at court. fun fact, when henry ii does eventually die, it's one of his illegitimate sons at his bedside, and none of his legitimate sons

[in the words of the astounding @searchingforserendipity25: “to be the only illegitimate son at that bedside, crowded by all those absences” damn queen, go off]

BUT. henry the young king, king in name, but JUNIOR king, and only titular. younger brothers get their lands. he's pissed.

daaaaad, he whines, i want a go at ruling now

i'm ruling now, wait your turn, henry ii says

no, fuck you, henry the young king says and starts a rebellion

despite being... well, a bit useless, henry the young king is VERY popular (idk, bc he was moderately handsome and good at jousting?? it makes no sense to me why the people liked him as much as they did, he didn't exactly do anything to earn their love or allegiance as far as i can see) and quite a few lords get behind him

also wanting a bigger portion than they've been given, richard and geoffrey join the rebellion, bc they want more of that sweet, sweet land, as does their mother eleanor of aquitaine who fell out with her husband at some point

henry ii, against all expectations, successfully puts down the rebellion and henry the young king et al are in troubleeee, but henry ii can't afford to really punish his ungrateful offspring as much as he'd probably like, so he goes the other way and gives henry the young king a nice big allowance to keep him happy, which works for a little bit

then henry the young king, beautiful imbecile that he is, decides he's gonna rebel again. it ends the same way. he's just not very good at war, is the only conclusion i can come to

SO the second rebellion is in progress (henry the young king is allied with his brother geoffrey again, but not richard, who appears to have learned his lesson... for now. richard does rebel again later, but he waits for the right moment, proving he had some degree of intelligence that the other two... lacked) when henry the young king gets sick

i'm gonna have to copy and paste from wikipedia for this bit to explain what he was sick WITH bc there is no way i can beat this: "[Henry] had just finished pillaging local monasteries to raise money to pay his mercenaries [when] he contracted dysentery at the beginning of June."

you heard that right

he got dysentry whilst PILLAGING CHURCHES

it was a real Bruh moment for karma

anyway, he starts getting sicker and sicker until it becomes clear He Ain't Surviving This, at which point he does what a lot of people do when faced with the reality of their own mortality: say 'oh shit, i fucked up' and try and apologise

he's also pretty out of it so at some point in a presumably feverish stupor 'as a token of his penitence for his war against his father, he prostrated himself naked on the floor before a crucifix'. just stripped off, got on his belly, presumably in one of the few moments he was not shitting himself, and says 'lol my bad'

unfortunately for henry the young king, he's got form for being a tricksy, underhanded bitch. (seriously, why was he so popular?? enquiring minds - mine - would like to know) and when the messenger gets to his dad saying 'welp, i'm dying, i'm real sorry about the wars, come see me on my deathbed?

henry ii takes one look at that and goes: 'he's not really dying, is he?’

the messenger: uh. yeah. really dying.

henry ii: sounds fake

the messenger: no, he's really really sorry and really really dying

henry ii: this is Definitely A Trap

so henry ii isn't gonna be taken to a secondary location to get imprisoned or murdered by his rebellious son, which u can't entirely blame him for, considering henry the young king is currently In The Process Of Attempting To Depose Him when this all goes down, BUT henry ii also figures that if his son really is dying, and he doesn't grant him forgiveness, then he's gonna be haunted by that shit/his son won't find peace/bad things will happen. so he takes one of his rings and gives it to the messenger and says, take this to my son as a token of my forgiveness. the ring couldn't come from anyone else, so henry the young king will know it really comes from his father, and henry ii doesn't get possibly murdered, so everybody wins!

messenger goes back to henry the young king, who we presume has now got some clothes on, or at least a strategically placed sheet, and gives him the ring. as expected, henry the young king dies soon after, get this, holding the ring that his father sent him.

like. i don't think he was a good king. i don't think he would've been a good king. but. he dies holding onto this ring. and he's got a lot of people around him, but his dad isn't there, just this ring.

when henry ii gets the news that henry the young king is really, really dead now, he is meant to have said the absolute soul-crusher of a quote that made me want to tell you this whole saga in the first place: "He cost me much, but I wish he had lived to cost me more."

like??? this kid tried to overthrow his dad. TWICE. he spent all the money his dad gave him and then some, which led to the aforementioned pillaging monasteries, he signed up to go on crusade that his dad specifically told him not to fucking go on (which he died before he could fulfil)... he did EVERYTHING wrong. like. so much.

and his dad just wants his pillaging, disobedient and wasteful son back.

and that is the story of henry the young king, the only junior king england ever had.

#henry the young king #henry ii #the plantagenets #plantagenet era #angevin empire #storytime!#yes i did copy and paste this from my ims with searchingforserendipity25 bc she told me it was good #yes i know it will get no notes #history #british history #english history #we love a dysfunctional family

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witchesoz · 3 years

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After Oz: Legends of Oz

I hesitated before doing this one, because this movie is mostly based on the book "Dorothy of Oz" by Roger S. Baum, and I haven't read said book. It is something that tends to get on my nerve, when people actually don't care about the original material an adaptation was based on, and consider the adaptation as its own entirely original piece of work, when in fact, a lot of it was taken from somebody's else work. I mean, the perfect exemple is Shining. Some people praise Kubrick for being a pure genius for inventing this story from A to Z, and consider Stephen's King television series a "poor attempt at a remake of the movie", when... you know, King originally wrote the Shining and Kubrick merely adapted it. In fact, people tend to forget most of Kubrick's movies were adaptation. Dr. Strangelove? Loosely based on "Red Alert". Lolita? Everyone knows it is Nabokov. A Clockwork Orange? Anthony Burgess. 2001: Space Odyssey? Inspired by shorts stories of Clarke, the co-author. Eyes Wide Shut? A 1920s German book, Traumnovelle. And so forth and so forth...

Hum. Sorry for the rant. I just needed to explain why I always want to take in consideration the original material when tackling an adaptation. But since I haven't read and can't get this book, I will mostly rely myself on the Wikipedia plot and other reviews I read. If you wonder, yes, Roger S. Baum is Baum's great-grandson (or great-great-grandson?), and he wrote "Dorothy of Oz" as a direct sequel to the first book, "The Wizard of Oz", ignoring all of the others, and... apparently he is not a really good writer. But anyway... I still decided to do a little something about this movie, because... well just because I wanted Oh yeah, another thing... an elephant in the room I have to adress right now. I only discovered it this year, by doing research about the movie (because before I only saw it at the time of its released and then forgot about it). You can know it, or completely ignore it - yes, I know that this whole movie was the result of a huge scam that robbed hundreds of people out of their money, and that the case has been even brought to trial. But... well the movie is still here, people still saw it, it is still around, will be for still quite a long time, and it is now part of the Oz inheritance, that you want it or not. Anyway, a lot of Oz movies had a dark and troubled production. It seems almost like a pre-requisite: if you do an Oz movie, you'll never end happy. Maybe it is a curse? Who knows.

So... let's get into the subject. Is "Dorothy's Return" a bad movie? (I'll use this name, because "Legends of Oz" was the name of the intended franchise of three, maybe ten movies). I wouldn't say so. A lot of people said it was crap, or worthless, but I wouldn't call it bad. People also said that it is a bland movie, and I would say yes - but only partially. I think a good lot of the extreme bad reactions were caused because of 1- people who just disliked the idea of more Oz adaptations, 2- people too old for this movie, because you have to remember that this is a movie aiming at children and 3- people who are hard-die fans of the MGM movie and not so much of the original Oz books. It may also play in account that Dorothy's Return was roughly released the same year, and played as a "rival" to "Oz the Great and Powerful".

Now, note that it isn't a memorable movie (except for a few bits). It isn't an excellent movie. It isn't a cult classic (even though it may become it with the whole scam background, who knows?). It isn't something I would watch again and again with pleasure. It isn't something exceptionnal or groundbreaking, it is even quite generic. But, it has some good parts, and it manages to be entertaining, and honestly as a child I could have sit in front of it and watch it with no problem. Because, yes, it is a children movie. The action is rushed, the characters lack depth, some moments are too sugary-sweet or even cringy (for exemple the song "We'll work together". Seriously, I just looked away and sped up a bit because that was too sickening-sweet for me.) As a result, as a child movie they missed things that could have been really good (the old tree agreeing to be use for a boat, which is played straight up as him being killed, the characters even say so, but then it turns out he is still alive as a boat? You could have had a great, deep, fascinating almost philosophical moment, but you just waste it for a happy ending). Anyway, what was I saying? Yes, a children movie. As a result, some people called the movie "too simple". On the other side, people called the story "too confusing".

To an Oz fan like me, it isn't actually confusing. It isn't at all - but indeed, for someone with a limited knowledge of Oz, it will be confusing. Because, while they base themselves on an Oz book that re-uses many elements from the books (the Queen of the Field Mices, the Sawhorse, the China Country...) it also decided to include a lot of elements from the MGM movie (the Wicked Witch of the West is the one from the MGM, Glinda is also quasi-identical from her MGM counterpart, the Winged Monkeys work with the evil people...). As a result, yeah, it may be confusing. But the inclusion of the MGM elements actually managed to correct some flaws of the original story. For exemple, in Roger S Baum's book, the Jester was merely a normal jester possessed by the ghost of the Wicked Witch of the West, through her magic wand. Wait, magic wand? There wasn't any magic wand mentionned in the original book! But in the movie, to use the broomstick of the Wicked Witch makes much more sense.

I'll take a short time here to comment on the character of the Jester, who is, I think, the highest point of this movie. He is a good villain. A cliché but interesting backstory cashing on the idea of Oz vilains as siblings, a clear shout-out to the Joker which isn't so bad, interesting plans. He is also the provider of many nightmarish elements (the fate of Dorothy's companions, which I think was a very good idea, or the people turning into puppets and being used for a creepy dance) that made this Oz movie feel... well Ozian. Because a good Oz work is a work that will traumatize your kids! I guess a bit part of why the Jester works so well is that he basically repeats and remakes all his sister, the Wicked Witch, did in the MGM movie, and let's be honest, she was a great villain. (And this again makes sense when you remember the Jester is originally supposed to be possessed by the Witch's ghost). But at the same time he has his distinctive signature and style, with his Jester persona, his circus-related punishment and his personal plots to conquer Oz. [People noticed obviously the sweet irony of things in this movie. You have a double-character that, on the Earth world is a cheater and criminal trying to steal people of their houses and using several fake identities, while in Oz it is a villain that turns people into puppets he can manipulate and relies mostly on cheating and misleading Dorothy to her doom. Which is eerily similar to what the creators of the movie/franchise did with their financers and investors.]

Talking about the Earth side... The whole "earthly" parts are all bland and not memorable. Just like Dorothy, who isn't really... anything to be honest. The songs sung aren't memorable either. All of that is a fail. A lot of people also considered the Earthly animation uncanny, or even disturbing, but I personally wasn't bugged by it at all. I saw much more uncanny animation.

When it comes to the Oz part, I actually think they managed to create a perfect "Ozian story". As in, the general schema of the girl entering in Oz through an uncommon mean (here a people-eating rainbow, that I have to say was quite a scary scene to look at), then passing through many small kingdoms, meeting new friends, forming a team, discovering the villain and fighting him off - this plot was repeated by Baum times and times and times again, and probably comes from the original novel Dorothy of Oz. But it still works, as simple as it can be. Plus, the use of the China Country and the Candy County (I think its their name?) was quite a good choice. The China Country was one of Baum's earliest invention, while the Candy County (originating from the Roger S Baum book) is eerily similar to the Bunbury village, an invention of Baum, inhabited by living baked goods that also get angry at the protagonists for trying to eating them. Yes, all in all, the characters feel really Ozian. As for the other member of the team, "Wiser the Owl". Well... he had the potential to feel an interesting and Baum-ian character. But it falls flat because he just becomes one living fat joke. I mean, fat jokes can be funny. But when the character is mostly the joke itself well... yeah, not really working. He had a much interesting role in the prequel comic book.

Because yes, there is a comic book associated with this movie! As I said before, originally the project was to create a franchise of several movies, with toys, goodies, applications and video games. (Or at least that was the project the scam used). The comic is however found under the original title for the movie "Dorothy of Oz". I don't have much to say about it, outside that is was quite pleasing (even though it sometimes doesn't make sense when put in direct relationship to the movie), and that it introduced one interesting idea: that the magic of the broomstick/Witch relied mostly on manipulating the weather and nature. The Jester causes a flood to destroy the Munchkin town, he causes an earthquake to break the China Country, he uses heatwaves to melt the Candy County... And another interesting point, the role of Wiser. Indeed, in the movie he is presented as a "motor-mouth" that keeps talking about everything, knows a lot of stuff and has the tendency to finish other people's sentences. But it gets quickly overshadowed by the fat jokes (cause a big part of his character is that he used to be able to fly but now, because of his love for candy, he is too fat to fly). However, in the comic book he has rather the role of the one voice of reason and intelligence that offers down-to-earth, simple solutions to problems where the other Ozians search for more extravagant and magical possibilities. Exemple (SPOILERS: when trying to create a rainbow, the team searches everywhere, thinks of asking witches, wizards and candy makers. Wiser has to remind them that anybody can create a rainbow with just a good crystal and some light. SPOILER ENDING.)

(I actually read the comic book before looking at the movie, which may explain why I consider it better than the movie.) To return to my opinion on the movie... Not the greatest Oz movie, but certainly not the worst. Average, but on the good side. Entertaining and interesting, even though bland and generic. They got the feeling of an Oz story but they just didn't found a way to freshen up or make the story shine on its own. A good villain for a heroine easy to forget. Simple. Ideal for children, or to kill time, or just to inspire one for more Oz work.

#oz #review #after oz #opinion #animated movie #legends of oz #dorothy's return #legends of oz dorothy's return

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nikkiwriteswords · 4 years

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Hi, I love the klave metas! I really needed more of them in my life :) Just wondered what your take is on the scene before the kiss, where Dave touches Klaus’s face? I have never quite managed to come up with anything myself. Thank you!

Ahh you’re too kind, anon! I’ve wondered about that scene myself to be honest, and oh boy do I have some analysis for you. Let’s just go over the context of this club scene real quick:

So here they are in the club. They’re having a bit of a laugh, a dance, and there’s a meet-cute narrative clearly happening. Klaus and Dave do some dork dancing, they share an equally dorky little moment, and Dave - Dave is already smitten, just try and tell me he’s not. The smile at Klaus’s fist-shake for throwing off his groove? Smitten. They decide to do shots, along with another guy and a girl, who then presumably ditch them. Then, there’s this nice split second of Dave’s feet walking purposely through the dancers.

Man’s on a mission. Look at this next shot. Dave sidles up to the bar where Klaus is leaning, is about to say something, and Klaus has a little grin because they’re both Know at this point. They’re both flirting around the issue and Dave is probably about to pull a Line. That is, until one girl literally inserts herself between Dave and the bar (even bashing into Klaus), and Klaus is approached by another.

I wonder what it is we’re meant to infer from this scene about the club scene in 60′s Vietnam. What’s the attitude towards GIs? What are the GIs attitude toward Vietnamese women? What’s the attitude towards homosexuality? If someone can shed some light on that context, I’d be really interested in hearing about it Anyway, cut to these two dorks giggling in the corner, probably hiding from the girls:

It’s such a meet-cute, because they’ve been dancing around the issue all night at this point, and here’s confirmation that they both aren’t into women - at least not as much as they’re into each other.

But then, this?

This vulnerable, ambiguous little sigh written all over Klaus’s face?? What’s that about? What do you think that emotion is? To me, Klaus looks a little bit lost here, a little bit puzzled and more than a little exhausted. But he also looks a little relieved, like Dave has just said something that resonates with whatever he’s feeling. Dave is clearly reassuring him, but that touch feels charged with attraction as well: I feel like they get caught a little bit by surprise by the intensity of their own feelings. Like Dave only meant to ruffle Klaus’s hair but suddenly he’s caressing his cheek and he just can’t help it - this weird, beautiful man has appeared out of nowhere and Dave wants to just pull him close and kiss him. And Klaus leans into it. See how he reaches for Dave a little bit? It’s like they just fall into the moment, and Dave feels that little thrill again, picks up the courage from before the girl interrupted him, and kisses Klaus.

But, see, here’s my real question: what are they talking about?

I’m really interested in what this whole flashback sequence tells us about Klaus’s arrival in Vietnam and the start of his relationship with Dave. Is Klaus fresh off the bus at this point? Or are they on leave after months in the brush, and this thing between them has been simmering for a while?

Putting aside headcanons and going on what this opening scene is telling us, it’s possible Klaus drops in on 173rd just as they’re heading back to base on leave. Sure, he arrives when they’re under fire, but the bus he’s travelling on in the next scene (still looking pretty green and shell-shocked, in the colloquial sense) is moving away from the fighting in the background:

The next shot places that bus in Saigon. For those of you who know Vietnamese history which clearly includes me after the twenty minutes I spent on wikipedia, the next few frames give us a specific location. The bus is parked outside the civilian terminal entrance at the Saigon Tan Son Nhut military airbase - these days Tan Son Nhat Int'l Airport in Ho Chi Minh City:

Based on that, I’d guess 173rd are probably being stationed here for the next few days whilst they wait to be dispatched up to the A Shau valley in the north.

Realistically, then, Klaus has only been in the country for like a day at this point in the bar. (It depends how far out the 173rd was from Saigon.) So having only just arrived in the frickin Vietnam War and been told his new company is about to be assigned recon deep in enemy territory, he’s probably feeling a little overwhelmed.

Plus, think about all the things he’s dealing with privately right now:

He’s totally alone in a foreign country, in a foreign decade. (At first maybe he thought the briefcase had killed him, and this is actually Not A Relief because Is This Hell?? But he’s not stupid, and his brain is horrifyingly clear for the first time in probably a decade. The fashion sense of Hazel and Cha Cha’s victims covered at least the last century, and the goons themselves were after his time-travelling older-little brother, so it doesn’t take a genius to realise he basically hotwired their Delorean.)

He probably also hasn’t had a chance to try the briefcase and return to 2019 immediately,** or if he has it didn’t work. Do they need recharging? I don’t remember, but he’s cleaned up so he may have had a moment alone to try it - and he’s still here, so.** If that’s even what he wants, maybe he’s hesitating - maybe that’s The Whole Point of Vietnam in Klaus’s character arc. It’s escapist fantasy. (You bet I’m revisiting that thought at some point.)

He’s probably still hurting from being tortured, and freshly sober - which, hold on, huge thing to consider: has he seen ghosts here already? Fanon consensus seems to be that alcohol helps dampen his powers, but doesn’t block out the ghosts completely. The Vietnam War was rife with drug use, but has he scored any drugs by this point? If he’s only 24 hours in, and only a few hours off the bus, it’s possible he’s still relatively sober. (Just think of the rural gothic potential. Oh man. Stephen King take the wheel. I’ll definitely be picking this up in another post.)

So the dancing and the alcohol have probably helped distract Klaus a good bit from the emotional shitstorm he’s probably experiencing right now, but at the end of the day, alcohol’s a depressant. He can’t share a lot of this with Dave, so I can’t blame the poor man for looking like he wants to just have a good cry. I can’t blame Dave for wanting to kiss that look right off his face, either.

#i have been wanting to break this scene down for so long #thank you for giving me the excuse to do it anon #nikkiwrites #scene analysis #headcanons #narrative analysis #meet cute #tua 1x06 #klaus hargreeves #dave katz #character dynamics #klave #the umbrella academy #ask #context #lgbt history #vietnam war #1960s #headcanon

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betterdaysareatoenailaway · 3 years

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Random Review #3: Sleepwalkers (1992) and “Sleep Walk” (1959)

I. Sleepwalkers (1992) I couldn’t sleep last night so I started watching a trashy B-movie penned by Stephen King specifically for the screen called Sleepwalkers (1992). Simply put, the film is an unmitigated disaster. A piece of shit. But it didn’t need to be. That’s what’s so annoying about it. By 1992 King was a grizzled veteran of the silver screen, with more adaptations under his belt than any other author of his cohort. Puzo had the Godfather films (1972 and 1974, respectively), sure, but nothing else. Leonard Gardner had Fat City (1972), a movie I love, but Gardner got sucked into the Hollywood scene of cocaine and hot tub parties and never published another novel, focusing instead on screenplays for shitty TV shows like NYPD Blue. After Demon Seed (1977), a movie I have seen and disliked, nobody would touch Dean Koontz’s stuff with a ten foot pole, which is too bad because The Voice of the Night, a 1980 novel about two young pals, one of whom is a psychopath trying to convince the other to help him commit murder, would make a terrific movie. But Koontz’s adaptations have been uniformly awful. The made-for-TV film starring John C McGinley, 1997′s Intensity, is especially bad. There are exceptions, but Stephen King has been lucky enough to avoid the fate of his peers. Big name directors have tackled his work, from Stanley Kubrick to Brian De Palma. King even does a decent job of acting in Pet Semetary (1989), in his own Maximum Overdrive (1986) and in George Romero’s Creepshow (1982), where he plays a yokel named Jordy Verril who gets infected by a meteorite that causes green weeds to grow all over his body. Many have criticized King’s over-the-top performance in that flick, but for me King perfectly nails the campy and comical tone that Romero was going for. The dissolves in Creepshow literally come right off the pages of comics, so people expecting a subtle Ordinary People-style turn from King had clearly walked into the wrong theatre. Undoubtedly Creepshow succeeds at what it set out to do. I’m not sure Sleepwalkers succeeds though, unless the film’s goal was to get me to like cats even more than I already do. But I already love cats a great deal. Here’s my cat Cookie watching me edit this very blog post.

And here’s one of my other cats, Church, named after the cat that reanimates and creeps out Louis and Ellie in Pet Sematary. Photo by @ScareAlex.

SPOILER ALERT: Do not keep reading if you plan on watching Sleepwalkers and want to find out for yourself what happens.

Stephen King saw many of his novels get adapted in the late 1970s and 80s: Carrie, The Shining, Firestarter, Christine, Cujo, and the movie that spawned the 1950s nostalgia industrial complex, Stand By Me, but Sleepwalkers was the first time he wrote a script specifically for the screen rather than adapting a novel that already existed. Maybe that’s why it’s so fucking bad. Stephen King is a novelist, gifted with a novelist’s rich imagination. He’s prone to giving backstories to even the most peripheral characters - think of Joe Chamber’s alcoholic neighbour Gary Pervier in the novel Cujo, who King follows for an unbelievable number of pages as the man stumbles drunkenly around his house spouting his catch phrase “I don’t give a shit,” drills a hole through his phone book so he can hang it from a string beside his phone, complains about his hemorrhoids getting “as big as golfballs” (I’m not joking), and just generally acts like an asshole until a rabid Cujo bounds over, rips his throat out, and he bleeds to death. In the novel Pervier’s death takes more than a few pages, but it makes for fun reading. You hate the man so fucking much that watching him die feels oddly satisfying. In the movie, though, his death occurs pretty quickly, and in a darkened hallway, so it’s hard to see what’s going on aside from Gary’s foot trembling. And Pervier’s “I don’t give a shit” makes sense when he’s drilling a hole in the phone book, not when he’s about to be savagely attacked by a rabid St Bernard. There’s just less room for back story in movies. In a medium that demands pruning and chiseling and the “less is more” dictum, King’s writing takes a marked turn for the worse. King is a prose maximalist, who freely admits to “writing to outrageous lengths” in his novels, listing It, The Stand, and The Tommyknockers as particularly egregious examples of literary logorrhea. He is not especially equipped to write concisely. This weakness is most apparent in Sleepwalkers’ dialogue, which sounds like it was supposed to be snappy and smart, like something Aaron Sorkin would write, but instead comes off like an even worse Tango & Cash, all bad jokes and shitty puns. More on those bad jokes later. First, the plot.

Sleepwalkers is about a boy named Charles and his mother Mary who travel around the United States killing and feeding off the lifeforce of various unfortunate people (if this sounds a little like The True Knot in Doctor Sleep, you’re not wrong. But self-plagiarism is not a crime). Charles and Mary are shapeshifting werewolf-type creatures called werecats, a species with its very own Wikipedia page. Wikipedia confers legitimacy dont’cha know, so lets assume werecats are real beings. According to said page, a werecat, “also written in a hyphenated form as were-cat) is an analogy to ‘werewolf’ for a feline therianthropic creature.” I’m gonna spell it with the hyphen from now on because “werecats” just looks like a typo. Okay? Okay.

Oddly enough, the were-cats in Sleepwalkers are terrified of cats. Actual cats. For the were-cats, cute kittens = kryptonite. When they see a cat or cats plural, this happens to them:

^ That is literally a scene from the movie. Charles is speeding when a cop pulls alongside him and bellows at him to pull over. Ever the rebel, Charles flips the cop the finger. But the cop has a cat named Clovis in his car, and when the cat pops up to have a look at the kid (see below), Charles shapeshifts first into a younger boy, then into whatever the fuck that is in the above screenshot.

Now, the were-cats aversion to normal cats is confusing because one would assume a were-cat to be a more evolved (or perhaps devolved?) version of the typical house kitty. The fact that these were-cats are bipedal alone suggests an advantage over our furry four-legged friends, no? Kinda like if humans were afraid of fucking gorillas. Wait...we are scared of gorillas. And chimpanzees. And all apes really. Okay, maybe the conceit of the film isn’t so silly after all. The film itself, however, is about as silly as a bad horror movie can get. When the policeman gets back to precinct and describes the incident above (”his face turned into a blur”) he is roundly ridiculed because in movies involving the supernatural nobody believes in the supernatural until it confronts them. It’s the law, sorry. Things don’t end well for the cop. Or for the guy who gets murdered when the mom stabs him with...an ear of corn. Yes, an ear of corn. Somehow, the mother is able to jam corn on the cob through a man’s body, without crushing the vegetable or turning it into yellow mash. It’s pretty amazing. Here is a sample of dialog from that scene: Cop About To Die On The Phone to Precinct: There’s blood everywhere! *STAB* Murderous Mother: No vegetables, no dessert. That is actually a line in the movie. “No vegetables, no dessert.” It’s no “let off some steam, Bennett” but it’s close. Told ya I’d get back to the bad jokes. See, Mary and Charles are new in town and therefore seeking to ingratiate themselves by killing everyone who suspects them of being weird, all while avoiding cats as best they can. At one point Charles yanks a man’s hand off and tells him to "keep [his] hands to [him]self," giving the man back his severed bloody hand. Later on Charles starts dating a girl who will gradually - and I do mean gradually - come to realize her boyfriend is not a real person but in fact a were-cat. Eventually our spunky young protagonist - Madchen Amick, who fans of Twin Peaks will recognize as Shelly - and a team of cats led by the adorable Clovis- kill the were-cat shapeshifting things and the sleepy small town (which is named Travis for some reason) goes back to normal, albeit with a slightly diminished population. For those keeping score, that’s Human/Cat Alliance 1, Shapeshifting Were-cats 0. It is clear triumph for the felis catus/people team! Unless we’re going by kill count, in which case it is closer to Human/Cat Alliance 2, Were-cats 26. I arrived at this figure through my own notes but also through a helpful video that takes a comprehensive and complete “carnage count” of all kills in Sleepwalkers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmt-DroK6uA

II. Santo & Johnny “Sleep Walk” (1959) Because Sleepwalkers is decidedly not known for its good acting or its well-written screenplay, it is perhaps best known for its liberal and sometimes contrapuntal use of Santo & Johnny’s classic steel guitar song “Sleep Walk,” possibly the most famous (and therefore best) instrumental of the 20th century. Some might say “Sleep Walk” is tied for the #1 spot with “Green Onions” by Booker T & the M.G.’s and/or “Wipe Out” by The Surfaris, but I disagree. The Santo & Johnny song is #1 because of its incalculable influence on all subsequent popular music.

I’m not saying “Wipe Out” didn't inspire a million imitators, both contemporaneously and even decades later…for example here’s a surf rock instrumental from 1999 called “Giant Cow" by a Toronto band called The Urban Surf Kings. The video was one of the first to be animated using Flash (and it shows):

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So there are no shortage of surf rock bands, even now, decades after its emergence from the shores of California to the jukeboxes of Middle America. My old band Sleep for the Nightlife used to regularly play Rancho Relaxo with a surf rock band called the Dildonics, who I liked a great deal. There's even a Danish surf rock band called Baby Woodrose, whose debut album is a favourite of mine. They apparently compete for the title of Denmark’s biggest surf pop band with a group called The Setting Son. When a country that has no surfing culture and no beaches has multiple surf rock bands, it is safe to say the genre has attained international reach. As far as I can tell, there aren’t many bands out there playing Booker T & the M.G.’s inspired instrumental rock. Link Wray’s “Rumble” was released four years before “Green Onions.” But the influence of Santo and Johnny’s “Sleep Walk” is so ubiquitous as to be almost immeasurable. The reason for this is the sheer popularity of the song’s chord progression. If Santo and Johnny hadn’t written it first, somebody else would have, simply because the progression is so beautiful and easy on the ears and resolvable in a satisfying way. Have a listen to “Sleep Walk” first and then let’s check out some songs it directly inspired.

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The chords are C, A minor, F and G. Minor variations sometimes reverse the last two chords, but if it begins with C to A minor, you can bet it’s following the “Sleep Walk” formula, almost as if musicians influenced by the song are in the titular trance. When it comes to playing guitar, Tom Waits once said “your hands are like dogs, going to the same places they’ve been. You have to be careful when playing is no longer in the mind but in the fingers, going to happy places. You have to break them of their habits or you don’t explore; you only play what is confident and pleasing.” Not only is it comforting to play and/or hear what we already know, studies have shown that our brains actively resist new music, because it takes work to understand the new information and assimilate it into a pattern we are cogent of. It isn’t until the brain recognizes the pattern that it gives us a dopamine rush. I’m not much for Pitchfork anymore, but a recent article they posted does a fine job of discussing this phenomenon in greater detail.

Led Zeppelin’s “D’Yer Maker” uses the “Sleep Walk” riff prominently, anchored by John Bonham and John Paul Jones’ white-boy reggae beat:

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Here it is again with Del Shannon’s classic “Little Town Flirt.” I love Shannon’s falsetto at the end when he goes “you better run and hide now bo-o-oy.”

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The Beatles “Happiness is a Warm Gun” uses the Sleep Walk progression, though not for the whole song. It goes into the progression at the bridge at 1:34:

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Tumblr won’t let me embed any more videos, so you’ll to travel to another tab to hear these songs, but Neil Young gets in on the act with his overlooked classic “Winterlong:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV6r66n3TFI On their 1996 EP Interstate 8 Modest Mouse pay direct homage by singing over their own rendition of the original Santo & Johnny version, right down to the weeping steel guitar part: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT_PwXjCqqs The vocals are typical wispy whispered indie rock vocals, but I think they work, particularly the two different voices. They titled their version “Sleepwalking (Couples Only Dance Prom Night).”

Dwight Yoakam’s “Thousand Miles From Nowhere” makes cinematic use of it. This song plays over the credits of one of my all-time favourite movies, 1993′s Red Rock West feat. Nicolas Cage, Lara Flynn Boyle, Dennis Hopper, and J.T. Walsh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu3ypuKq8WE

“39″ is my favourite Queen song. I guess now I know why. It uses my fav chord progression: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE8kGMfXaFU

Blink 182 scored their first hit “Dammit” with a minor variation on the Sleep Walk chord progression: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT0g16_LQaQ

Midwest beer drinkin bar rockers Connections scored a shoulda-been-a-hit with the fist-pumping “Beat the Sky:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSNRq0n_WYA You’d be hard pressed to find a weaker lead singer than this guy (save for me, natch), but they make it work. This one’s an anthem.

Spoon, who have made a career out of deconstructing rock n’ roll, so that their songs sometimes sound needlessly sparse (especially “The Ghost of You Lingers,” which takes minimalism to its most extreme...just a piano being bashed on staccato-style for four minutes), so it should surprise nobody that they re-arrange the Sleep Walk chords on their classic from Gimme Fiction, “I Summon You:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teXA8N3aF9M I love that opening line: remember the weight of the world was a sound that we used to buy? I think songwriter Britt Daniel is talking about buying albums from the likes of Pearl Jam or Smashing Pumpkins, any of those grunge bands with pessimistic worldviews. There are a million more examples. I remember seeing some YouTube video where a trio of gross douchebros keep playing the same progression while singing a bunch of hits over it. I don’t like the smarmy way they do it, making it seem like artists are lazy and deliberately stealing. I don’t think it’s plagiarism to use this progression. And furthermore, tempo and production make all the difference. Take “This Magic Moment” for example. There's a version by Jay & the Americans and one by Ben E King & the Drifters. I’ve never been a fan of those shrieking violins or fiddles that open the latter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bacBKKgc4Uo The Jay & the Americans version puts the guitar riff way in the forefront, which I like a lot more. The guitar plays the entire progression once before the singing starts and the band joins in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKfASw6qoag

Each version has its own distinctive feel. They are pretty much two different songs. Perhaps the most famous use of the Sleep Walk progression is “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers, which is one of my favourite songs ever. The guy who chose to let Bobby Hatfield sing this one by himself must have kicked himself afterwards when it became a hit, much bigger than "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiiyq2xrSI0

What can you say about “Unchained Melody” that hasn’t already been said? God, that miraculously strong vocal, the way the strings (and later on, brass horns) are panned way over to the furthest reaches the left speaker while the drums and guitar are way over in the right, with the singing smack dab in the middle creates a kind of distance and sharp clarity that has never been reproduced in popular music, like seeing the skyscrapers of some distant city after an endless stretch of highway. After listening to “Unchained Melody,” one has to wonder: can that progression ever be improved upon? Can any artist write something more haunting, more beautiful, more uplifting than that? The “need your love” crescendo hits so fucking hard, as both the emotional and the sonic climax of the song, which of course is no accident...the strings descending and crashing like a waterfall of sound, it gets me every fucking time. Legend has it that King George II was so moved by the “Hallelujah” section of Handel’s “Messiah” that he stood up, he couldn't help himself, couldn't believe what he was hearing. I get that feeling with all my favourite songs. "1979." "Unchained Melody." "In The Still of the Night." "Digital Bath." "Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?" "Interstate." "Liar's Tale." “Gimme Shelter.” The list goes on and on. Music is supposed to move us.

King George II stood because he was moved to do so. Music may be our creation, but it isn't our subordinate. All those sci-fi stories warning about technology growing beyond our control aren’t that far-fetched. Music is our creation but its power lies beyond our control. We are subordinate to music, helpless against its power and might, its urgency and vitality and beauty. There have been many times in my life when I have been so obsessed with a particular song that I pretty much want to live inside of it forever. A house of sound. I remember detoxing from heroin and listening to Grimes “Realiti” on repeat for twelve hours. Detoxing from OxyContin and listening to The Beach Boys “Dont Worry Baby” over and over. Or just being young and listening to “Tonight Tonight” over and over and over, tears streaming from my eyes in that way you cry when you’re a kid because you just feel so much and you don’t know what to do with the intensity of those feelings. It is precisely because we are so moved by music that we keep creating it. And in the act of that creation we are free. There are no limits to that freedom, which is why bands time and time again return to the well-worn Sleep Walk chord progression and try to make something new from it. Back in 2006, soon after buying what was then the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album, I found myself playing the album’s closing track over and over. I loved the chorus and I loved the way it collapses into a lo-fi demo at the very end, stripping away the studio sheen and...not to be too punny, showing its bones (the album title is Show Your Bones). Later on I would realize that the song, called “Turn Into,” uses the Sleep Walk chord progression. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exqCFoPiwpk

It’s just like, what Waits said, our hands goes to where we are familiar. And so do our ears, which is why jazz often sounds so unpleasant to us upon first listen. Or Captain Beefheart. But it’s worth the effort to discover new stuff, just as it’s worth the effort to try and write it. I recently lamented on this blog that music to me now is more about remembrance than discovery, but I’m still only 35 years old. I’m middle-aged right now (I don’t expect to live past 70, not with the lifestyle I’ve been living). There’s still a whole other half life to find new music and love and leave it for still newer stuff. It’s worth the challenge, that moment of inner resistance we feel when confronted with something new and challenging and strange sounding. The austere demands of adult life, rent and routine, take so much of our time. I still make time for creative pursuits, but I don’t really have much time for discovery, for seeking out new music. But I’ve resolved to start making more time. A few years ago I tried to listen to and like Trout Mask Replica but I couldn’t. I just didn’t get what was going on. It sounded like a bunch of mistakes piled on top of each other. But then a few days ago I was writing while listening to music, as I always do, and YouTube somehow landed on Lick My Decals Off, Baby. I didn’t love what I was hearing but I was intrigued enough to keep going. And now I really like this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMnd9dvb3sA&pbjreload=101 Another example I’ll give is the rare Robert Pollard gem “Prom Is Coming.” The first time I heard this song, it sounded like someone who can’t play guitar messing around, but the more I heard it the more I realized there’s a song there. It’s weird and strange, but it’s there. The lyrics are classic Pollard: Disregard injury and race madly out of the universe by sundown. Pollard obviously has a special place in his heart for this track. He named one of his many record labels Prom Is Coming Records and he titled the Boston Spaceships best-of collection Out of the Universe By Sundown. I don’t know if I’ll ever become a Captain Beefheart megafan but I can hear that the man was doing something very strange and, at times, beautiful. And anyway, why should everything be easy? Aren’t some challenges worth meeting for the experience waiting on the other side of comprehension or acceptance? I try to remember this now whenever I’m first confronted with new music, instead of vetoing it right away. Most of my favourite bands I was initially resistant to when I first heard them. Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss, Guided by Voices, Spoon, Heavy Times. All bands I didn’t like at first. I don’t wanna sleepwalk through life, surrounding myself only with things I have already experienced. I need to stay awake. Because soon enough I’ll be asleep forever. We need to try everything we can before the Big Sleep comes to take us back to the great blankness, the terrible question mark that bookends our lives.

#sleep walk #santo & johnny #neil young #queen #dwight yoakam #led zeppelin #the beatles #betterdaysareatoenailaway

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just-a-caffeine-addict · 3 years

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Quotes Accrued in a Decade

“…as you well know, the source of the Nile remained invisible to those who lived next to it for a thousand years. Identifying it required a stranger. (A fresh pair of eyes may see what others miss)” –Sherlock Holmes (From The Perils of Sherlock Holmes: Short Stories)

“A couple of years before he died, I kissed my father goodbye. He said, ‘Son, you haven’t kissed me since you were a little boy.’ It went straight to my heart, and I kissed him whenever I saw him after that, and my sons and I always kiss whenever we meet.” –Terry Wogan

“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.” –Chinese Proverb

“All great truths begin as blasphemies.” –George Bernard Shaw

“An army of donkeys led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a donkey.” –Genghis Khan

"An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it." –Mahatma Gandhi

“Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.” –Cesar A. Cruz

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” –Marianna Williamson

“Ask not what your country can do for you –ask what you can do for your country.” –John Kennedy

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply give you courage.” –Lao Tzu

“Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.” –English Proverb

“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” –George Bernard Shaw

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” –Confucius

“Can you really have a bad experiment? I don’t know. But can you have a bad result? Yes.” — EvanAndKatelyn (From Can Resin Preserve a Pumpkin Carving?)

“canon is but the sandbox in which i strike lightning to form glass. trouble me no more with your quibblings and quorums, lest i grind you to dust beneath my heel and build stories from the remnants of your bones. Avast, foul fiend” —taako waititi (From Tumblr)

“Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn't every war fought between men, between brothers?” —Victor Hugo

“Cucullus non facit monachum (A cowl does not make a monk).” – Fool/Feste (From Twelfth Night)

“Demons run when a good man goes to war…” –River Song (From Doctor Who)

“Due to high cost of ammo, there will be NO WARNING SHOTS FIRED.” –Warning sign

“Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.” –Nicholas Sparks (From Safe Haven)

“Everyone gives the title of barbarism to everything that is not in use in his own country.” –Michel de Montaigne (From Of Cannibals)

“Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” –Brad Henry

“Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. The wise take a knife, cut the cord, and set themselves free from the fools.” –Unknown

“Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.” –Chinese Proverb

“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” –Thomas Edison

“Herr, wirf Hern vom Himmel -oder Steine, Hauptsache er trifft (Lord, throw some brains from the heavens -or stones, as long as he hits the mark)!” –German Proverb

“History is for human self-knowledge...the only clue to what man can do is what man has done. The value of history, then, is that it teaches us what man has done and thus what man is.” —R.G. Collingwood

“Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.” –James Thurber

“I can pretend I’m a fish, but I shouldn’t try to breathe underwater.” –Unknown

“I have the patience of a saint. Saint Cunty McFuckOff.” –Words on a cup

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 1,000 ways that won’t work.” –Thomas Edison

“I made some good deals and I made some bad ones. I really went in the hole with this one.” –Quote on a grave

“I occasionally think, how quickly our differences worldwide would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside this world. And yet, I ask is not an alien force ALREADY among us?” –Ronald Reagan

“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” –Isaac Newton

“If our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might nearly be free; but now we are moved by every wind that blows, and a chance word or scene that that word may convey to us.” –Victor Frankenstein (From Frankenstein)

“If the world tells me I’m mad, whereas I know I’m not, which of us is right? Thus, being mad is what? Inventing a life one hasn’t lived or loving a woman met in another lifetime? Is it clinging to unsatisfied desires?..” Doriel (From A Mad Desire to Dance)

“If you’re afraid - don’t do it, - if you’re doing it - don’t be afraid!” –Genghis Khan

“If you’re going to be a writer, the first essential is just to write. Do not wait for an idea. Start writing something and the ideas will come. You have to turn the faucet on before the water starts to flow.” —Louis L’Amour

"If you're not asking the questions in a thoughtful way, you're not going to get any results that are useful or interesting." –Tony Wagner

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” –John Quincy Adams

“I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” –Jimi Hendrix (From Axis: Bold as Love)

"Imagine a world in which every single person on the planet has free access to the sum of all human knowledge." –Jimmy Wales (Founder of Wikipedia)

"In caucus terrae, luscus rex est (In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king)." –Latin Adage

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –Abraham Lincoln

“In time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” –George Orwell

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” –André Gide (From Autumn Leaves)

"It's not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer." –Albert Einstein

“It’s true. I forget important things sometimes… Sometimes I do think I should give up-- just let the crown win and the world freeze, with me in it. Some days I can’t remember a single reason to keep fighting. Some… Some days I-- I can’t remember her. But giving up’s EASY. You know what’s hard? To BELIEVE in your own worth, to KNOW you’ve got something special in you even if nobody else can see it. Even when YOU can’t.” –Ice King |Simon Petrikov from Adventure Time

“Learn yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” –Albert Einstein

“Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.” –Isaac Watts

“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.” –Sholom Aleichem

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” –Ann Landers

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” –James Baldwin

“Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.” —“The Wonder Years”

“My family is my strength and my weakness.” –Aishwarya rai Bachchan

“Names are the sweetest and the most important sounds in any language.” –Dale Carnegie

“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.” –Mary Wollstonecraft

"No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips." –Sigmund Freud

“No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” –Lin Yutang

“NO TRESPASSING. Violators will be shot; Survivors will be shot again.” –Warning Sign

“Nobody knows you as well as our spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or her needs are met.” –Stephen Kendrick from The Love Dare

“Notice: Anyone found here at night will be found here in the morning.” –Warning Sign

“"One thing nature is very good at is creating incredibly complex microscopic structures. That's because nature's machines are the size of molecules, while our crude versions are the size of rooms." –Theodore Gray (from Molecules: The Elements and Architecture of Everything)

“Only the sufferers know how their bellies ache.“ –Burmese

“People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.” –Otto von Bismarck

“People think intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’ - that’s intimacy.” –Taylor Jenkins Reid (From The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo)

“Play taps for my ass, cause it’s dead as hell.” –Unknown Quote

“Six of one, half a dozen of the other. (It doesn't matter which one we choose; Equally involved, equally responsible)”

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” –Markus Zusak (From I Am the Messenger)

“Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can” –Arthur Ashe

“Take nothing but pictures; Leave nothing but footprints; Kill nothing but time.” –Caver’s Creed

“Take with a pinch of salt (Don’t completely believe what’s told).”

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” –Richard Bach

“The end of one thing is only the beginning of another.” –Unknown

“The family is a haven in a heartless world.” –Attributed to Christopher Lasch

“The helper seeks to help others because he knows what it is to be helpless.” –’ Zen’ Wander (From Wander Over Yonder)

"The million-dollar question: Why aren't we kinder? The second million-dollar question: How might we become more loving, more open, less selfish, more present, less

delusional?" –George Sanders

“The need for a body of common knowledge and common reference ...grows more necessary so that people of different origins and occupation may quickly find common ground and, as we say, speak a common language...it also ensures a kind of mutual confidence and good will. One is not addressing an alien, blank as a stone wall, but a responsive creature whose mind is filled with the same images, memories, and vocabulary as oneself.” —Jacques Barzun

“The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them.” –Marilyn Monroe

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!” –Roosevelt

“The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure you have enough.” –Louie CK

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” –Albert Camus

“The sacrifice which causes sorrow to the doer of the sacrifice is no sacrifice. Real sacrifice lightens the mind of the doer and gives him a sense of peace and joy. The Buddha gave up the pleasures of life because they had become painful to him.” –Mahatma Gandhi

“The secret of a good memory is attention, and attention to a subject depends upon our interest in it. We rarely forget that which has made a deep impression on our minds.” —Tryon Edwards

“The secret to humor is surprise.” –Aristotle

“The surplus wealth of the few will become, in the best sense, the property of many, because administered for the common good.” –Andrew Carnegie

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” –G.K. Chesterson

"The word 'why' not only taught me to ask, but also to think. And thinking has never hurt anyone. On the contrary, it does us all a world of good." –Anne Frank

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” –Ernest Hemingway From A Farewell To Arms

“There is no satisfaction in vengeance unless the offender has time to realize who it is that strikes him, and why retribution had come upon him.” –Jefferson Hope From Sherlock’s Adventures

“There will be something you hate in every job. The trick is finding a job where you love the good parts enough to make up for the crappy parts.” –post

“There’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society… outside of a kennel.” –Crystal (From The Women of 1939)

“Though we tremble before uncertain futures… may we dance in the face of our fears.” –Gloria Anzaldua

“To forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time.” –Elie Wiesel (From Night)

“Un sot trouve toujours un plus sot qui l’admire (A fool always finds a fool to admire him).” – Sherlock Holmes (French translation)

“We’re taught Lord Acton’s axiom: all power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely[...] I believed that when we started these books, but I don’t believe it’s always true anymore. [...] What I believe is always true about power is that power always reveals. When you have enough power to do what you always wanted to do, then you see what the guy always wanted to do.” –Robert A. Caro

“We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.” –Joseph Roux

“What we have done to ourselves alone, dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” –Brother Albert Pike

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” –Henry Ford

“When you wish upon a star, you’re a few million light years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.” –Unknown

“When you’re a brat, running fast is enough to make you popular. When you’re a middle-schooler, the guys who can fight will be popular, and after that it’s the guys with brains who can get the girls.” –Master of Protagonist (From The Fruit of Grisaia)

“Where we love is home –home where our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” –Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” –Plato

“You are the company you keep.” –Unknown

“You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul" –Chef Gusteau (From Ratatouille)

“You walk around a drunk, you get a tired drunk. Splash ‘em with water, you get a wet drunk. Give ‘em a coffee, you’ve got a wide-awake drunk…” –Unknown

#quotes #sayings #everything associated honestly #some I need to review

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 4 years

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HGPC 17 - 21 | Koi to Producer 2 - 6 | Appare 5 - 8 | Fugou Keiji 4 - 6

...only just realised I was missing some tags. They should be there now or soon.

HGPC 17

Why do I get the feeling the Sawaizumi family will be held hostage one day…? (Maybe I’m just being negative?)

The episode title mentions Chiyu by name, so I wonder why the translation didn’t…

Customer service! You can’t get away from it, even in COVID times…! (Impressive!)

Hmm…you can actually read part of the booking for the Smiths in the book if you know the kanji.

I thought the Smiths would speak in English, but they actually speak in fluent Japanese if the word “susume” was any indication.

Ah, Sukoyaka sweet buns! (from the other episode about the festival)

HGPC 18

Don’t burn down your house with scented candles, kids!

Also remember to use your knees when lifting heavy boxes! (<- says a charity store volunteer, who does this stuff on the regular)

These days the mascots usually have a human form. I wonder if this is implying that particular direction…? (I woke up today and was craving a certain oneshot I’d read during my scanlation days…if it is, it would fill that niche nicely.)

I wonder if the kids will recognise this Ashita no Joe parody…?

HGPC 19

“…since you were young?”

Oh! Element of Wind again!

Koi to Producer 2

This almost feels like Victor is assigning a school project to Protag-chan…it’s a bit sad, really.

It’s nice they let Protag-chan have a personality.

It’s fine if you can’t read the katakana, but Gavin’s name is Haku in Japanese, so it throws out the immersion somewhat…also, I know I shouldn’t be complaining – I’m the target audience here – but do these guys look kinda similar or what…? (partially kidding)

High school sweethearts, huh? “Childhood friends” is my favourite angle of a romantic relationship, but it gets so overused by harems it comes around to being boring…!

I-Is this Stand My Heroes…?! (LOL…?)

Can we not with 1st person cam…?

As cute and dorky as this stuff gets…how does Gavin never get found?! Does nobody ever look up in this city?!? (I thought Evolvers were meant to be a secret…?)

GPS tracker? That’s no better than large corporations using your location data…Isn’t that creepy…?

Hold on, when did she get his phone number? You would assume it was before this entire chase after the boy happened, but still…?

LOL, the English on the board.

This anime is gonna cause me some frustration, but it gives the good stuff in roughly equal measure. It seems to omit the fact you interact via phone with your bois for intimacy (in the game).

Koi to Producer 3

LOL, that’s so clearly Gavin…

By googling, you find out Uptown and Queens are in New York.

Ohmygosh! Did the creators know I love the trope where only people with superpowers can move in certain circumstances?!

Uh…his name is Kira in Japanese? Did someone read the katakana wrong?

Pictured: Depressed bishonen eating bad pudding. (…That joke sounds better in my head. I forgot what meme I was meant to be parodying there, but I had a meme in mind.)

Lemme guess…this man (I dunno if it’s one of the previous bishies with an identical face or a new one) is looking for MC-chan. *sigh* Update: Yep, just Victor again. To be honest, I don’t like anyone who calls harsh words “their sign of love” – love should be honest and upfront. That’s how it becomes heartmelting.

Koi to Producer 4

Okay, in order, it seems to be hexadecimals, Javascript (you can tell from the “const”), some kind of profiles which are apparently for human lab rats (which seem to have some kind of nonsense filler text), a DNA model and DNA bases (ACGT).

The text on the screen says something along the lines of this being an official broadcast of this man’s arrest and this man was a genetic researcher. Obviously, if I wanted to put more attention into what it meant, I would, but I won’t sweat the details this time (because it doesn’t seem to impact the plot).

The guy’s name is Minor because minor key (geddit?)…that’s my guess.

I started playing the game due to this anime, if you didn’t know, and I unlocked an expert in ch. 2. I thought he was Minor, but turns out his name is Spine (an older man).

The diary, true to form, contains details about either one case or several cases, two involving children. The bottom of the 1st page says “if it’s fake, I’ll laugh”.

Hey, I once told Crunchyroll I wanted an anime about hacking (so is this a dream come true? I reveal all in the next sentence!). Hackers don’t congregate like this…they’d be too conspicuous, even with the secret hideout!

The code in the top left appears to be…C? I think? (Note they declare “unsigned int”.)

Kiro sometimes reminds me of Masayoshi (SamFlam)…it puts a derpy smile on my face.

*blah blah blah I’m Key* - Wuh…? F*** you, Kiro!!! (There is such a thing as piling too much cool stuff on to a character, y’know – I’m guilty of it in my own writing.)

3684 isn’t a very safe password (says someone who once aspired to be in cybersecurity).

What bugs me is that Simon is a perfectly fine name…it’s just a bit boring. Kiro/Kira I get (a bit), but Lucien/Simon…? *shrugs*

Ohh! Based MAPPA! Thank you for making this adaption look great!

Koi to Producer 5

Oh, I got an SR in the game recently and it has a line like, “Only a fool stays up all night to do others’ work. Victor talks like that a lot…

The sign so obviously says “Renka”, meaning “love flower”. “Loveland” really is a step down from that…

Where’s Gavin’s guest badge…?

“Happiness Noodle Store”…?

“…the end of our first year…”

If this weren’t a Chinese work by origin (or Japanese work by translation), I’m sure Protag-chan would have gone after Gavin, despite being told the contrary.

Kanya = Minor. I’ll take a note of that.

One of the books behind Minor says “Gale Start”…hmm…

That GPS tracker is still unintentionally creepy, IMHO.

Koi to Producer 6

…oh. (dejected) Probably a beach episode or something.

What the actual heck was going on with Lucien…? It’s like he was having a tiny stroke there…

Lucien’s power is listed as “???” in the game. I thought he was an aura-reader when he said “show me your colour”, but that shield thing he did means he might just have various psychic powers…? *shrugs* We’ll find out eventually.

Running in heels is hard…

LOL, that’s so clearly recreating a CG from one of the cards.

This is the 2nd time this has gone pseudo-isekai. As much as I like to joke about it…I fully expect someone to be sent to another world at this point.

I couldn’t possibly see Victor on any kind of game show, come to think of it.

Appare 5

This guy’s middle name is “Rich”! That’s silly!

A boombox from the 19th century…makes sense, somehow.

I only just (?) realised Al has a tiny tie on his usual outfit.

Back to the beginning already…just start!

Appare 6

…I just realised Appare mouths “I got it!” in the OP.

Al Lion (sic…?)

Isn’t Sofia in that train…? Update: She might have been, she might not. Hard to tell when they don’t confirm.

This series seriously could’ve done with a dub…Even with weird hokey Hetalia accents, it would be good stuff.

These bunches of people at designated points…reminds me of the book I was reading while in Japan. The Long Walk by Stephen King (part of a compilation). It still gives me shivers down my spine when I remember it.

This “leave in the middle of the night” thing reminds me of the Amazing Race.

“Valley of Despair” is made-up, but Death Valley exists. It’s one of the hottest places on earth, hence the name.

LOL, Kosame scores himself one (1) prarie dog and two (2) Hototos.

I thought Appare was being inconsiderate at first…but he’s being considerate, in his own way.

Oh! I didn’t realise, but Saito Soma is Al.

Appare 7

“It’s not one plus one, but one times one!” – LOL.

Hybrid engine? In the 1900s? Hmm…

LOL, I think Al just did a hadouken.

This stuff’s like an animated Galaxy Brain meme! It’s amazing!

I managed to successfully predict – without watching ahead – Appare would catch himself with his traps.

Kosame with his hair down…is rare. Not exactly attractive because we have to care about the racers rather than lust after them (and the artstyle actually prevents me from doing so, because it’s deliberately quite cartoony), but it’s rare.

Appare is surprisingly childish…that’s what makes him more than a Sheldon Cooper, I think.

The spelling of the place is actually “Ely”, if Google-sensei is any indication. C’mon, subbers! You’re American (most likely)! Can’t you put in the legwork (or the Google-fu) to discover what place in Nevada this is?!

Subbers make characters say “shit” a lot in this show, hmm? (contemplative)

Now this evil guy here *points to screen*…that’s hair I like.

Appare 8

I just love this OP…don’t you?

I like how the steam/gas boat/car has Chinese numerals on its dial.

Kosame means “small rain”, so “heavy rain” is obviously to contrast that.

The Hototo joke never gets old.

I thought I just saw someone leave the saloon…

Nice hair + terrible face = bad equation.

I can almost imagine the wee-oo-wee-oo-ooooooo…wah-wah-wahhh…(You know the one sound snippet, right? The one theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - or whatever movie it is – that maybe involves a tumbleweed rolling across the screen, and then a huge shootout? If you don’t know it, play a sample on this Wikipedia page!) playing in the background.

It’s convenient the prarie dog didn’t appear when Hototo (old) had his revenge spree.

I noticed there’s a bit of a mark under Kosame’s left eye…it suggests that he’s been crying (or maybe it shows tiredness from the race…?), but it’s not that noticeable.

So that’s the real Gil…and tose were his henchmen that threatened to hang everyone bar Kosame. Got it.

(notes to self) So, for charting a course with Appare Ranman!, it’s Los Angeles -> Death Valley -> Ely -> Denver -> ??? -> New York. Got it.

Fugou Keiji 4

“Daisuke-sama” isn’t “Lord Daisuke”, it would be “Sir Daisuke”, I think…but “lord” has a proper translation in Japanese.

The truck has a Shinagawa licence plate. Anime really does like Shinagawa, huh? (Based on ID: INVADED and this.)

I think it’ll be interesting to see Kambe handle this without HEUSC.

The board for Sanchome (which is equivalent to a suburb…or a county, I guess?) has posters saying stuff like “take your dog poop home” and “let’s protect the environment!” (technically, it says “let’s protect the region/area!”, but that doesn’t translate right. There’s even a flea market. Still, those posters don’t have any big hints…not that I know of so far.

I kind of forgot that dude was the gardener for Kambe’s house…er, mansion.

I noticed a poster in the kouban says haru (spring) on it. That’s probably the same one that Haru’s name is signified by, assuming that’s not in combo with another character or few.

Oh great…the sister is an overbearing one.

Ahh…he doesn’t like natto. So that’s the problem. Daisuke is childish (like Appare)…Note I don’t like natto either, but I wouldn’t run away from home (or similar) because I was fed natto.

I noticed Kambe uses shinseki (which doesn’t refer to close family). “Relative” is a correct translation of that word, I just wanted to check that word was the right one for the context.

There’s a green tea bottle by the sink…I don’t think I’d mistake that shade of green for anything else.

LOL, I didn’t think we’d actually get to see Kambe with his hair “down”, so to speak. It’s…an interesting look, for sure.

Oh my gosh! It cost him (Haru) $15!!! (LOL, cheapskate…says the cheapskate…*suddenly droops and stops laughing*) Update: Sorry about the sudden downer there. I was having what the kids these days call a “woke moment”…at least, I think that’s how they use that term.

…I’d watch that crime drama. It’s funny.

Just realised Kato has an older model of phone than Kambe does.

This episode was kinda like a Tokyo Sonata kind of thing, huh? The sensational in the middle of the not-so-sensational…”sensational” for this show, anyway.

Those kids look like the ones from Erased.

*lightbulb goes off in brain* What if the dog went to Kambe’s…?

Can Suzue actually hear HEUSC while Kambe is using it…? $2.46 though…that is cheap, in comparison to the ham.

This was the cheapest episode so far (about $550)…probably because it was an insight into Kato’s life, more than Kambe’s.

Fugou Keiji 5

The flag seems to be based on Cameroon’s (which is in Africa, not America) and the “Arita Kinen” seems to refer to Arima Kinen, meaning this episode is set around Christmas-ish. Credit goes to Kambe Zaibatsu on this show.

I-It’s a Humvee!

Polyadoll (sic)…?

The Poliador guy speaks perfect Japanese…(?)

The star! It’s a key thingy!

I thought Kamei was the 1st Division dude with the reddish hair. Turns out it was the blonde…? Update: Redhead is Hoshino.

Ummmmmm…he was reading porn…? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…okayyyyyyyyyyyyy…

…oh, the costs for Kambe’s tuxedo are on there. So’s the cost for repairing the bike Suzue rode.

Fugou Keiji 6

I never knew there were so many money proverbs to be used as episode titles…

What is Kambe doing with his hands…? He’s not even using the computer.

Imura seems to use a Windows 10 with Cortana on the taskbar.

HGPC 20

What’s with all the Naruto running this episode…?

HGPC 21

(no notes, sorry!)

#simulcast commentary #healin' good precure #fugou keiji: balance unlimited #millionaire detective #Koi to Producer: EVOL x LOVE #mr love queen's choice #Appare Ranman!#Chesarka watches AR #Chesarka watches HGPC #Chesarka watches Koi to Producer #Chesarka watches Fugou Keiji

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writing-prompts-for-friends · 4 years

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Notes from Stephen King’s “On Writing” 08: Research

Disclaimer: This book was originally published in 1998, before the massive internet boom. There are a lot of valid points here, but take some of it with a grain of salt.

“We need to talk a bit about research, which is a specialized kind of back story. And please, if you do need to do research because parts of your story deal with things about which you know little or nothing, remember that word back. That’s where research belongs: as far in the background and the back story as you can get it. You may be entranced with what you’re learning about flesh-eating bacteria, the sewer system of New York, or the IQ potential of collie pups, but your readers are probably going to care a lot more about your characters and your story.”

When King sits down to write his first draft, the one he doesn’t show to anyone, he doesn’t care about whether things are factual. He just makes up the stuff he doesn’t know. Who cares if the Pennsylvania State Police don’t actually follow the protocol you’ve specified? It’s the rough draft. You can figure out the right stuff later.

When I read this section, I got the feeling that King likes to write with as little outside interference as possible, even if that “interference” is research. In other words, he likes to dump the whole story out onto the paper and then tidy up the mess afterwards.

I feel that this method is both good and bad:

Merit: You are less likely to get sidetracked by the bottomless rabbit hole that is Wikipedia, and will in theory be able to write quicker without less distractions that arise from research turned into web-surfing.

Demerit: If an important part of the story hinges on something that winds up being incorrect/impossible upon further research, you could find yourself in a heap of trouble and looking at a lot of revision.

Personally, I’m the kind of person who wants to know everything about everything (as if this tumblr or my main one on Japanese weren’t evidence enough lol). Especially with the temptation of google, I often find myself spending hours researching minor details of stories. Did I have to spend 5 hours reading about galleons (the ships, not the coinage in Harry Potter) to write that one chapter that had a fight on a pirate ship? ...No. No, I did not. Lol.

I think the only time I personally advocate a very thorough stint of research is when you are writing about a character that actually existed and you want to maintain some historical facts about them. I spent umpteen hours of research on Vlad the Impaler, Romania, the Ottoman Empire, and the Romanian language itself for a particular story, and I feel like it paid off. I had fun doing it too.

“The tale I have to tell in Buick Eight has to do with monsters and secrets. It is not a story about police procedure in western Pennsylvania. What I’m looking for is nothing but a touch of verisimilitude, like the handful of spices you chuck in a good spaghetti sauce to really finish her off. That sense of reality is important in any work of fiction, but I think it is particularly important in a story dealing with the abnormal or paranormal. Also, enough details--always assuming they are the correct ones--can stem the tide of letters from picky-ass readers who apparently live to tell writers that they messed up.”

Mood, Mr. King. Big mood. After having done all that research on Vlad the Impaler, I got ripped apart by a reviewer by saying, “How dare you say that Dracula would kill his wife upon turning into a vampire. He was a diehard romantic and his wife killed herself upon his death.” Well, certainly that is how Bram Stoker wove his tale of Vlad and his wife in Dracula, but the truth is that his wife remarried after he was executed, as was common of nobles in those centuries. Go look at Wikipedia. And in the story I was writing, my Dracula’s character was based more on the true life events of Vlad than of what Bram Stoker fabricated. Dracula was a pretty nasty mean dude full of anger when he was turned into a vampire, and I had him seek out all of his betrayers as soon as he became a vampire. Because that’s what I thought he would have done, if he had actually become a vampire just before his execution. Sue me.

In this age of the internet where anybody can become a self-certified know-it-all of any topic, it’s nigh impossible to avoid catching shit from someone because we’ve written something incorrect. Whatever. A story is a lie made to tell a truth. Of course you’ll have some little lies peppered in there (intentionally or unintentionally) that will get noticed. No one is perfect, and that’s okay.

Source: King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. Hodder, 2012.

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theparanormalperiodical · 5 years

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Is Stephen King's IT Based On A True Story? The 7 Real Life Stories of Evil Clowns

With autumn just around the corner, that can only mean one thing: Halloween season is finally upon us!

But you can snort your pumpkin spices and layer your scarves all you want. There’s only one thing I am in anticipation for this autumn.

It’s the horror flicks.

Every October, a chaotic mix of horror films hit the cinemas, leaving us paranormal fanatics spoilt for choice.

But only when you cut out the rushed screen time plays that were written purely to coincide with the most wonderful time of the year, that is.

I’m not here to talk about crap, however.

I’m not here to bitch about clunky jumpscares, and the movies with more holes in a plot than in your prep school tights (“Mum, they’re fine!”).

I’m here to talk about IT Chapter 2.

The IT sequel – alongside Stephen King’s other horror hits – is set to complete one of the cinema phenomenons of this decade, and its influence on pop culture is just one echo of the incredible story the movies tell.

If you’ve been trapped in the sewers with Pennywise for the last 27 years, let alone the Clown Craze that’s followed us in and out of cinemas, here’s a quick rundown of the book/film:

A rag-tag group of misfits start noticing odd patterns in their small town. Namely, kids start to go missing. And this tends to happen roughly every 30 years, just like clockwork. Cue some freaky shenanigans evoked by an evil entity who is represented by an image of a clown/whatever you fear, and here we are.

Now, the book/films sits on this 27-years rule. It’s set between when they were young, and when they were several decades older and once again face It.

We last see It half kinda dying (but if there’s a sequel y’all know that’s BS) in the midst of the 1980s. And the new film brings us screeching back to the phenomenon that is once again haunting Derry.

Like I said – and as you will well remember – when the last flick came out, there was a Clown Craze. There was this cultural obsession, even a criminal wave using clown masks and attire to scare the innocent bypassers. Viral videos were scored with Pennywise-esque thumbnails.

(I’m pretty sure I even went a club night that was clown themed…)

So, it got me thinking: have evil clowns ever actually existed? Has anything ever emulated the character that titled one of Stephen King’s most famous books?

Unfortunately – in more than one case – the answer is yes.

Why does the answer have to be ‘yes’.

In today’s edition of the Paranormal Periodical we are going to be discussing why we all hate clowns, the cases of actual evil clowns, and urban legends that echo these cases.

Let’s get spooky.

Why are we so afraid of clowns?

I’m pretty sure that no one in the history of ever has liked clowns. In fact, that’s actually a key part of the book.

Pennywise supposedly thinks children love clowns, and that it will entice them so he can take them away for his feeding purposes.

And believe it or not, Stephen King wasn’t the first guy to write an evil clown into literature.

Clourophobia – or the fear of clowns – is a common phobia, and has been played upon since the 19th century by the king of horror himself, Edgar Allan Poe.

And only a decade before King published It in the 1970s, several mock comic books hit the stores with ‘Evil Clown’ blaring across the cover. ‘Frenchy the Clown’ as he was known might not be the malovalent entity that is core to King’s novel, but he does echo the dark themes we pick so easily out with clowns.

Even academics have outlined our unease when it comes to these supposedly comical figures.

The University of Sheffield did a study which confirmed this universal fear of clowns today.

In particular, they deduced that children don’t like clowns as they are unknowable. The thick layers of makeup, the potential threat that could be disguised by jokes and silly clothing.

And why wouldn’t they be?

*Ok, this has nothing to do with like spooky shit but can I just air my thoughts right why and how do clowns exist now like surely we teach kids not to talk to strangers who act weird and you don’t know and that’s literally the purpose of clowns and like yall can say I’m a trigger libtard whatever but a lot of the basis to clown makeup must be based on blackface look at the lips and the hair or even trying to mock disabled people by how they act*

Even academic figures lie Wolfgang M. Zucker take this point further. Zucker claims there are strong similarities between clown figures and the cultural depiction of demons and other terrifying creatures.

Deathly white faces, the freakish features.

This is what makes Pennywise the Dancing Clown such a standout character.

And it’s also what makes the following real-life stories of evil clowns quite so distressing.

Here are the 7 cases of Evil Clowns that you have to hear about:

This might be the Paranormal Periodical, but there is nothing supernatural here. And its probably the lack of ghost-based legend that makes these evil clowns so like Stephen king’s iconic character.

And we start with probably the most horrific case: John Wayne Gacy, aka Pogo or Patches the Clown.

From 1972 to 1978, John Wayne Gacy murdered, tortured, and raped over 30 underage and young adult men. Most of the bodies were buried around his home, and some were even disposed in a nearby river.

He even made plans to fill the crawlspace in his home – where he had crammed over 20 corpses – with concrete and essentially make a new mass grave on top of it.

This twisted and depressing tale carries further into the innocent image his community impressed upon him.

Gacy frequently performed as his clown alter-egos at local parties, charity events, and at children’s hospitals. Even outside of this, he met a First Lady, was active in politics, and was even awarded the title of Precinct Captain for his services to the community.

And if all this wasn’t terrible enough, the reasoning behind his clowning days further darken his tale:

Gacy claims his clown alter-ego allowed him to regress into his childhood which was fraught with emotional and physical abused from his father.

And so, the ‘Killer Clown’ label has been bestowed upon this case.

Interested in hearing more? Check out the full story here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wayne_Gacy

Our next evil clown doesn’t stray too far from the predatory behaviour of John Wayne Gacy.

The man behind Klutzo The Clown – A. Paul Carlock – was charged with the possession of child pornography and of child molestation back in 2007.

Like Gacy, he was a force within the community, working as a police officer and a volunteer for the Big Brothers/Big Sisters scheme. It was even noted when he was alive that he had a fondness for children.

In fact, he was categorised as a ‘Christian clown’ before the accusations were brought to light.

He was hired as a police officer in 1973, yet they only found evidence (pictures on his laptop when he returned from an overseas trip) in 2007.

Upon finding the evidence of his predatory and paedophilic behaviour, he immediately began to show signs of illness, dying 39 days after his arrest. And its for this reason that his case is seen in a different light to mine.

The disgusting details tend to be overlooked as his death brought in a lawsuit regarding whether he was neglected and mistreated after his arrest.

Following on from this, we have Martin Evanick.

His clown alter ego, Vlad, certainly expressed a killer-clown vibe synonymous with Pennywise, but it seems his intentions didn’t actually stray to far from the character he sought to emulate.

This metal-band drummer pleaded guilty in 2013 to creating child pornography. He was also found prior to this to be a child molester and rapist.

Another clown to fit the bill of evil is actually a relatively recent case.

Back in 1990, a woman opened the door to a clown who promptly handed her balloons and a floral gift.

The clown then proceeded to shoot her, leaving her for dead.

For 27 years, there was no answer for this bizarre and deadly attack.

Well, until now, that is. Sheila Keen was charged with first-degree murder. She married the husband of the victim, and the later developed DNA evidence provided the key to the case.

Unfortunately, evil clowns don’t always act alone.

And it’s these next cases that vouch for this.

Across many countries in the last few years we have witnessed random groups of people dressed as clowns or donning clown masks who chase, harass, and even attack innocent people seemingly in broad daylight.

One of the most documented cases of this is actually from France. Back in 2014, the French were apparently terrorised by a group of clowns who physically attacked anyone who just so happened to get in their way.

One of these clowns was arrested for beating a pedestrian with an iron bar whilst clad in a clown costume.

A student even had a severe cut to his hand whilst defending themselves from a clown wielding a axe, and Schoolchildren were eve chased down the street by a clown following close behind with a chainsaw.

Shit bro.

But it was only in 2016 that the phenomenon was fully realised.

The 2016 Clown Sightings – which even feature on Wikipedia, now – summarise the frequent reports of people disguised as evil clowns.

However, as this is evidently a broad case, we cannot pinpoint the extent or nature of the ‘evil’.

For some it appears a practical joke, possibly even playing on the build up to the 2017 release of IT.

But the original cases have actually been traced back to 2013, from which a creepy clown was spotted in Northhampton. It was eventually found out to have been created by filmmakers to drive up traffic and fame for their Facebook page. In fact, they used the ‘sightings’ to evoke the fame they sought.

From scary clown pranks littering Youtube, to urban legends feeding on upvotes from Reddit, it appears it has not been grouped as an ‘evil’ or ‘criminal’ set of occurrences.

Even on October 25, news outlets in the US reported on threats of a potential ‘purge-like’ event carried out by clowns on Halloween. The only attack resembling this – which I assume was merely a hoax – was an attack carried out by 20 people in clown masks on a family in Florida.

No arrests were made.

There were many cases in the UK, but these only amounted to petty crimes, threats, and scaring people passing by.

But the widespread nature of it certainly confirms it as a phenomenon. 80 percent of US states witnessed this phenomenon, and the Wikipedia page is crawling with country-by-country listings of ‘killer-clown’ cases.

Do you remember the Clown Craze?

And do you have a personal tale to share about any creepy ass clowns?

Make sure you let me know!

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mossflowermouse · 4 years

Text

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been reading ‘When Christ and His Saints Slept’ by Sharon Penman, writing my thoughts down as I went. Currently writing a proper review of the book as a whole, but for now I’m posting those original bullet-point reactions. It got kind of long so this is part one of three. I’ve also gone back through and divided things up by chapter, because otherwise it’ll get really confusing.

Below the cut, the civil war begins, everyone is picking sides (but not necessarily staying where they first choose), and I am emotional about the mess this has very quickly become for everyone involved.

Did a bit of reading up on this period – for historical fiction, I like to know more or less what will be covered, especially for Penman books since there's such close attention to detail (also because it can lead to some lovely dramatic irony, knowing how things will play out, and I don’t think of it as spoilers in the same way as other fiction). I’m now aware of the broad strokes – bits of the family tree, the ship sinking, some of the key events during the Anarchy. Also thanks to that one Horrible Histories song, I know Stephen becomes king but Maude is never crowned queen, and her son Henry succeeds Stephen.

I’ve read one other book by this author, ‘The Sunne in Splendour’, but fully expect this to be a completely different experience – I’d spent months studying and reading up on the Wars of the Roses before that, whereas here all the knowledge I have is from like half an hour of Googling, the family tree in the front of the book, things from a few Tumblr posts, and some other faintly-remembered facts about the earliest Plantagenets. I’m really looking forward to it, though, and fully expect to be destroyed with family drama, incredible historical accuracy, and the heartbreak of getting attached to these people while knowing the inevitable conclusion. Here goes.

Chapter I:

Oh no Stephen's got so many relatives on the White Ship

William’s giving me Edmund of Rutland déjà vu – there seems to be a running theme of Penman’s books opening with the death of a 17-year-old noble sibling of one of the main characters.

Oh no I got attached to William

(HOW did I get attached to William, he was alive for like five pages)

Just finished reading the sinking of the White Ship, decided to research it a bit more. I really ought to stop being surprised by how much of the stuff in Penman's novels is real – in this case, Berold as the sole survivor and William's attempt to go back for his sister were the details I'd wondered about. In conclusion: already hooked.

[then I forgot to write anything for a while because the book was too gripping]

Chapter IV:

Ranulf is fairly prominent in these chapters - according to the character list, he seems to be the only notable fictional character. When reading The Sunne in Splendour, I didn't find out Veronique was made up until the author's note at the end, so comparing the experience of reading about those two will be interesting. I like him though.

Note to self: look into William Rufus' death - Stephen and Ranulf's conversation about how Ranulf’s father took the throne has me intrigued.

Chapter V:

First impression of Geoffrey was that he was awful; a hundred pages in and he's done nothing to really change that. Currently resisting the temptation to Google and find out how much longer the characters and I have to deal with him.

I know Maude's not going to get the throne and it's making me sad because of her line about freedom.

And then listing the people she trusts and Stephen's one of them...oh you poor dysfunctional family. And the worst part is, it really doesn't seem like he's going to take the throne for his own gain - he's going to think it's for the best for all of them and he cares about Maude and all their siblings and cousins will have to choose sides :(

And there it is.

Chapters VI and VII:

Stephen: what other choice does Maude have but to accept my kingship? ...well, according to Wikipedia, wage war against you for twenty years, Stephen.

Oh god even Robert's accepted Stephen as king, I was expecting him to side with Maude. He doesn't seem happy with it, though - maybe a change of heart later on?

Ranulf's the only one so far who definitely seems to be on Maude's side.

Okay, yeah, less than half a page later and Robert's already explaining that his loyalty to Stephen is largely a waiting game.

Ranulf's going to get himself killed with his recklessness and open loyalty to Maude isn't he. And I can't even look him up to know for sure and prepare myself because he's fictional. Why.

Oh no and Amabel just mentioned he's seventeen, that's absolutely a death flag as far as Penman characters are concerned (William in this one, Edmund of Rutland and Edouard of Westminster in TSiS come to mind).

Amabel's like "well what does Ranulf have to lose by supporting Maude" and while Robert replies by talking about his betrothal, I'm suddenly very worried that the real answer is "his life"

(Also, I appreciate that much of the book up to this point has been dedicated to the bonds between family members who will soon be on opposite sides of a civil war. This is going to hurt, but I do like being invested in characters.)

Annora :(

Awww, Maude and Ranulf (and poor Ranulf's looking back on his memories of Stephen)

First mention of Eleanor of Aquitaine!

Ugh, Geoffrey.

UGH, GEOFFREY

And first mention of William de Ypres!

Ranulf is still so optimistic and he's going to get his heart broken.

And Ancel says Annora's married. Yup, I suspected she might not be as willing to wait as Ranulf, given the circumstances.

Hmm, Stephen's having difficulty with his court.

Any reference to Robert as 'Gloucester' is making me instinctively like him more after TSiS. (Also, even besides that, the king's relative Gloucester being one of the most powerful nobles is something that keeps cropping up in medieval England. Although Robert's the Earl rather than Duke like later ones)

Chapters VIII and IX:

Robert and Amabel have decided to support Maude! Yes! Now I'm wondering if this will be permanent, though, because there's still 750 pages and like fifteen years of civil war to go. Something other than Geoffrey is going to have to go wrong for Maude for the war to continue that long, because Stephen's really not doing well here.

More traitors in Stephen's court (Miles and Brien) - I wasn't sure at first if it was just unfounded suspicion from Stephen and the other barons, but yeah, it seems they're loyal to Maude.

Matilda's taking a much more active role in the war - first the Dover siege, now the treaty with David of Scotland. I'm enjoying seeing her grow in confidence and discover what she’s able to achieve. Maybe it's not that things will go wrong for Maude, but instead a case of things starting to go right for Stephen and Matilda's side.

Meanwhile, Stephen's being peer pressured into becoming a harsher ruler (well, it's more that several of the nobles are pretty much ruling though him. And the Beaumonts aren't happy about Matilda's influence. Please give me all the court drama, this is good.)

(Also I keep reading Beaumont as Beaufort. The vague similarities between them don’t help. Noble family with even more questionable ambitions than the average noble family and whatnot)

u g h

Poor Henry's having quite the turbulent childhood (though both Maude and Geoffrey love him, so at least there's that. Honestly wasn’t sure what to expect from Geoffrey, relieved he’s apparently a decent father. But considering everything else, the bar really is on the floor here.)

Maude, Robert, Ranulf and Rainald are so good. I've always got a soft spot for siblings who band together in a crisis (and because of TSIS, can't help but draw vague parallels between this lot and the later Plantagenet siblings)

Awww, Uncle Ranulf with Maude's kids

Adeliza's offering to let them land at Arundel Castle - based on what's been said about the situation in England (and Maude's main difficulty being the crossing from Normandy, with nowhere to land safely), this could really be a turning point!

Chapter X:

Just met Adeliza and I like her already.

Robert and Amabel's farewell has me concerned that something's going to happen to one of them

Well that went wrong quickly (they arrived at Arundel Castle a week ago and Stephen's already besieging it)

...wait, how did Stephen find out they're here so quickly? (Possibilities I can think of: Robert was discovered en route to Bristol (please no), there's a spy somewhere in the castle, Adeliza and Stephen had this planned all along (would also be upsetting, I like the glimpse we've had of her friendship with Maude))

Okay, so it's not Adeliza. That's good. I'm worried about Robert though.

"His barons seemed to take turns standing as sentinels between Stephen and his better instincts." This is such a good line and it really sums up my thoughts on Stephen's position right now.

Aw, Stephen's still fond of Maude. I can't decide whether this is more heartwarming or tragic.

“...it was only when he was on his way back to the castle that the significance of the Bishop’s words penetrated. Stephen’s allies made a point of referring to Maude by the title she herself detested: Countess of Anjou. Her own supporters accorded her the rank she much preferred, that of empress. And so, Ranulf finally realized, had the Bishop.” wait what

So does this mean Henry's going to defect or????

I knew he was angry with Stephen about not becoming Archbishop but still. Maybe he's just being petty and this isn't a sign of an actual betrayal.

Robert :)

And Miles and Brien are openly supporting Maude!

...aaand time for war. And there's the chronicle the title's from!

#I'll try to post the next part of this today or early tomorrow #and a proper coherent review eventually #when christ and his saints slept #sharon penman #everyone please read this book it's so good #(it also seems to have got me out of a reading slump)#iz.txt #penmanblogging

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amphitritie · 6 years

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MYTHOLOGY MASTERPOST

In response to an ask, I’ve compiled this masterpost of mythology resources. It’s by no means comprehensive, as myth is an extremely broad subject, and I’ve mainly focused on Greco-Roman mythology. I’ve tried to include a range of websites alongside books and original sources, so you can get by without spending anything. The upside to Classics being a kinda dusty subject is you can find so many texts online for free!

THE ESSENTIALS

If you’re just starting to get interested in mythology then it can be pretty daunting & it’s hard to know where to start. So, to help, here’s some recommendations for websites/texts that lay out the information without assuming any previous knowledge

theoi.com is an absolutely brilliant resource for anyone interested in mythology. It is stunningly comprehensive, with information on every god, goddess, nymph, monster and hero appearing in Greek mythology! Every entry has so much well researched information about the god and stories they appear in, and even includes excerpts from the original sources.

There are, of course, countless books dedicated to telling, or retelling, myths, and everyone seems to have their favourite. Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton is a popular one, and is really good at telling the stories without dumbing them down, and I really like the way Hamilton writes too. It also has some bonus Norse mythology at the end!

Alternatively, Robert Graves’ The Greek Myths is also really good, and very comprehensive, although fairly hefty at about 800 pages.

Stephen Fry recently released his own retelling of the myths, entitled Mythos, which I really need to get around to reading. It’s a bit of a random selection of myths, but includes quite a few of the LGBT ones from what I’ve seen. You can also pick up an audiobook of him reading it – if you grew up listening to him narrate the Harry Potter books, I would definitely recommend this.

INTERMEDIATE

If you enjoyed those, and want to learn more about ancient mythology, I would really recommend then starting to delve into the original source material.

Ovid’s Metamorphoses is a pretty good place to start. It’s a collection of over 250 stories from creation to Julius Caesar, all linked by the theme of transformation, but it’s fairly easy to dip in and out of – think of it kind of like a short story anthology. Here is the entire work online for free, and I also found another site here which is Dryden’s translation - a little more old fashioned but closer to the poetic style, so it just depends what you prefer. If you wanted to buy

Apollodorus’ Bibliotheca is another great ancient compendium of myths. It covers the gods taking over from the titans, Hercules’ labours, and finishes at the Trojan War. Which brings me to…

Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey. With 24 books each, Homer’s epic poems can look pretty intimidating. But I would really, really recommend reading them. There are a myriad of different translations, which I will get into later, but to start off I would suggest either Fagles or Lattimore. I found full texts of both online, here and here although I'm not sure what translations they are.

EXTRA RECOMMENDATIONS

At this point I got a bit carried away. If you’re scrolling through this thinking you’ve already read a lot of these, here’s some extras.

I love the Homeric Hymns. Anddd I found a website here which has all the hymns – and displays with the original Ancient Greek and English translation side by side, which is really handy if you, like me, are attempting to learn Ancient Greece.

If you feel like you’re used to all the weirdness of Greek myths, boy have I got news for you. Ancient Egyptian myths make Pasiphae look tame. Try reading a very serious story about a god jizzing into a rival god’s salad in order to become king. If that sounds interesting: get help! Just kidding, read this book: The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt by Richard Wilkinson. It’s very comprehensive, and also has lots of fantastic illustrations.

If you want an original source to read for the Egyptian myths, I’d suggest The Egyptian Book of the Dead, translated by Raymond Faulkner and Ogden Goelet

Kevin Crossley-Holland’s The Penguin Book of Norse Myths: Gods of the Vikings is another good introductory book to another set of myths, this time Norse. He’s a novelist in his own right (anyone else read The Seeing Stone?) and this comes across clearly in the ways he tells the stories.

TRANSLATIONS

Please bear in mind that there are lots of different translations of ancient texts. I am not an authority in which one is best, and there isn’t a simple answer in any case, but I made my above suggestions based on either what I’ve personally read, or a translation I’ve heard good things about. That said, if you are interested in translation theory pls send me a message and we can yell about it together then here’s a few more recommendations.

Above, I recommended Lattimore or Fagles as a good starting point for Homer. If you don’t know which to pick, as a very broad generalisation Lattimore’s is more like poetry, and Fagles’ reads more like prose. (I may get people who disagree. Everyone has an opinion on translations.) Lattimore stuck to the original daxylyctic hexameter of the Ancient Greek text and, perhaps most impressively, stuck to the same line count as Homer. Fagles is more readable, but perhaps loses something in this. I honestly haven’t decided which I prefer yet. But for a first read of Homer, I would definitelty recommend one of these two – it just depends whether you are reading more for the poetry or for the story.* Robert Fitzgerald’s translation of the Iliad is also very popular, although it’s far looser a translation than the above two. This makes it kind of easier to read, but I personally think it’s a bit too loose to be perfectly honest.

Alexander Pope’s translation is a much earlier translation, published in 1720, and the language shows. However his translation is brilliant at conveying the drama and grandeur of Homer’s work.

There was a lot of excitement on Tumblr at announcement of Emily Wilson becoming the first woman to translate Homer’s Odyssey into English. I haven’t had a chance to read it yet (and I want to so badd) but from the excerpts I’ve seen and all the interviews and articles I’ve read it looks absolutely stunning. Please read this.

There is a super handy Wikipedia page which shows the first few lines of the Iliad/Odyssey as translated by every English translator ever. It makes for super interesting reading, but can also help you choose one to read that appeals to you!

For other texts: I’m currently studying The Aeneid using David West’s translation, Medea and Hippolytus as translated by Edith Hall, and Bernard Knox’s translation of Oedipus the King and Antigone. I’ve been enjoying all of these. If you’ve been following me a while, you’ll know I’m a big fan of Anne Carson. She translated Sappho, and some tragedies as well. Her translations focus more on conveying the poetry or feelings behind the words rather than an exact translation of the words themselves, which makes for electrifying reading if you’re used to perhaps more staid translations. Antigonick was a particular favourite of mine, probably because I knew the play so well so I was able to really appreciate the changes and decisions she made, although it was more an intepretation than a translation. This difference, as brilliant as it is, is why I would, however, suggest you read other translations first before attempting Carson.

I hope this was helpful! A second masterpost focusing on more general Classics resources will be coming soon.

#tagamemnon #masterpost #mythology #Greek Mythology #classics #tsoa #hellenism #yall this took me so long #but now i need sleep #mine #soz for dumping this in the tsoa tag ill take it out later i want Recognition

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riverdaleroundup · 6 years

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Riverdale Roundup: 2x18 “ A Night To Remember”

Okay so I love musicals, but full disclosure i’ve never seen Carrie the musical, i’ve never seen Carrie. I like to sleep at night so I haven’t read any Stephen King novels. I never saw the original movie and the remake starred Chloe Grace Moretz and she’s just not my cup of tea. She couldn’t hold onto Brooklyn Beckham or my attention. I know the basics. They dump blood on the girl at prom and she burns down the school with her super natural powers. I read the wikipedia page on the movie so I am never well informed.

I appreciate all the singing right off the bat. The whole fake documentary style isn’t exactly my vibe. I get it. They needed to keep Jughead involved. Cole Sprouse doesn’t like to sing or dance because Disney Channel probably trapped him in a room somewhere and tried to get him to record songs with names like “ Dance it Out” or “ Get that Girl”.

There is tension going on all over the place. Tension between Betty and Veronica, Archie and Jughead, Cheryl and Joise, Betty and her Mom. Chuck and everyone. Chuck just wants to show off his dance moves and prove that he’s no longer a fuck boy. He’s changed!

Jughead is like “ wtf Archie are you flirting with my gf while i’m like right here?” but Archie just wants Betty to be nice to Veronica. Betty doesn’t associate with liars even though she lies like all the time and she’s real good at it.

Okay so Cheryl almost got hit by a sandbag and then Kevin got a letter from the black hood being like “ Cut Cheryl from the show or like ima get you”

Alright so who sent this? Could it be Josie getting back at Cheryl for sending her a pigs heart? That seems like a stretch. Honestly it’s probs the real black hood. He’s not dead. He’s hiding in a cave somewhere plotting his time.

Archie has to keep the car his sugar daddy gave him at his girlfriends house so that his real daddy doesn’t know that he’s been bought.

Betty and Jughead who have been thirsting for a good mystery since no one has been murdered in the past three weeks are ready to dive into figuring out who sent this letter.

They target Ethel first because she was “ born to play Carrie” and Ethel gets uber defensive and is like “ i’m not violent! I would never hurt anyone for my own gain!” despite the fact that she straight up covered Veronica in a strawberry milkshake maybe three days ago. I mean she didn’t punch her in the face but that wasn’t exactly a solve your problems with words type of reaction.

There is MAD tension between FP and Alice. FP is playing hard to get and Alice might have thought that was cute when they were 15 but she’s a grown ass lady now with an extensive wardrobe and she will not put up with this bullshit.

Cheryl and Josie sing a song about friendship and Josie forgives her for being a grade A psycho.

The Lodges are trying to bring down Freds campaign and they are clearly going to use Archie to do it. Hiram is going to skip on down to the Andrews house and be like “ Your son calls me Daddy now.”

The 70’s hair and outfits are pretty iconic.

Veronica sings about being a mean girl and Betty is finding the whole thing way too meta. Also casual how this public high school allows for the choreography to include Veronica giving Chuck a very casual lapdance.

Betty calls Veronica out in front of everyone and Archie is like “ Betty you don’t get it. Veronica isn’t mean you’re mean.”

Archie and Betty sing their love ballad and Betty goes to apologize to Veronica. It turns into a love ballad between Betty and Veronica. The fangirls are going crazy. This is like their fanfiction come to life on the screen.

Fred is building the sets but Hiram is the producer so really who’s the top dog? Fred plays it off like he isn’t pissed that Hiram bought Archie a car but in real life he’d like to take that drill and do some burr holes Izzie stevens style, sans anesthesia. Fred wanted to build a car with Archie. What is it with Riverdale that everyone builds cars with their dads?

Alice has issues with men. FP rejects her so she goes crawling to Chic who won’t return her calls. It’s yikes.

Kevin gets another letter about re casting Cheryl. Cheryl is like “It’s fine fam. I’m going to do it anyway. I’m a bad bitch. You can’t kill me.”

Penelope is like “ look bitch. I hate you. You aren’t doing the play.”

Cheryl needs to pull a Nathan Scott and get emancipated. She’s got money. Get Nana Rose and a lovely little apartment.

Ethel is so pumped that Cheryl is out of the show but Kevin pulls Midge out of his asshole and presents her as the understudy.

Cheryl and Toni share a moment talking about all the whack things that Cheryl did and yet it’s supposed to be like cute? Like wouldn’t it be a good thing that Cheryl is no longer the same person who burned down her house?

Life imitates art a little too much for Alice and she starts singing straight to Betty. Alice just wants to keep Betty close. Everybody else keeps dipping on her. Polly took her Kardashian named children and ran away to California, Hal is a total loser but he bailed too, Chic is gone but honestly Alice that isn’t a loss. Betty wants to help her mom and honestly I think she should get her a nice lap dog. That will keep her good company and it won’t run away to San Francisco.

Archie returns the car that Hiram got him because he can not be bought. He can only be rented.

Alice and Betty have opening night jitters so they can’t enjoy their lovely family meal.

Hal stops in with some superstore flowers in an attempt to woo his way back into the house. I told you to get her a puppy Betty! Not a person.

Alice makes Betty leave so she can talk to Hal and I thought that she was going to be like “ I slept with FP” but instead she’s like Chic isn’t your son. I mean if she doesn’t want to keep secrets she should tell Hal that someone died right where he’s sitting like a month earlier.

Archie got the world oldest car to fix up. Fred was on the verge of bankruptcy approx 4 days ago so in what world will they be able to afford all these rare parts?

Cheryl gets some blood from the butcher and goes full horror movie on her mother. She’s ready to burn down thistle house. Oh my god she just said she’s going to get emancipated. She listens to me. She takes my advice. She upped it and wants to keep the house. Honestly she deserves it. She and her nana can live out their lives without the extra weight. I mean isn’t the house Nana Roses? Penelope got Thorne Hill right?

FP turns up to see the show to find that he’s too late and Alice has fallen back into the arms of her no good rotten husband.

Is Midge cheating on Moose with that Hanks guy or whatever the hell his name is?

Jughead finds the cut up magazines in Ethel's dressing room and if it really was her that cut up the letter she is a really shitty criminal. But calm down guys! It’s for her vision board!

Chuck and the gang are having a lovely heartfelt moment and then her creepy brother shows up. Now everybody is uncomfortable. He’s a ruiner.

Those sets that Fred built are lovely. The sets our schools shitty musical had general consisted on just some risers and projected pictures.

Oh my god. Shut the fuck up. Is Midge dead? We all knew the black hood wasn’t dead. Moose saved her from death the first time but BH is back for revenge. Plus now she’s a philanderer so she had it coming x2.

Anyway, that’s what you missed on glee

#riverdale #riverdale roundup #the cw riverdale #jughead #jughead jones #betty cooper #veronica lodge #archie andrews #cheryl blossom #Alice Cooper #fp jones #alice and fp #falice #choni #Bughead #barchie #varchie #Hiram Lodge

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splashmommy · 6 years

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Ronda Helped Me

Guys, I just ran two miles in the freezing fucking cold. Full disclosure, I speed walked them. Also it was only one mile, I just checked my pedometer because I have major OCD and can’t stand being inaccurate. So here’s the accurate story, I spent the last three solid hours of this afternoon laying on my couch eating pretzels, chugging coffee, and slowly crawling to the end of Christine (a Stephen King book which I’m ashamed to admit has taken me almost two months to finish. Sorry, there was just a lot of football and mechanics to push through in the beginning before the love triangle kicked in). Believe you me, I did not want to get off that couch. I could have continued sitting there in my five year old christmas jammy pants for, at the very least, another eight hours, and I would have, had it not been for Ronda Rousey.

Y’all. I watched wrestling again last night for the first time in a long time. Let me set the scene for you. I had just gotten home from a long day of work and I wanted nothing more than to microwave a Kashi meal and dive deep into The Tank (this is what I call Shark Tank) to see what disparaging things Mr. Wonderful had to say about Barbara or the retail industry as a whole while I dug deeply into some Chimichurri Quinoa. I had yet to change and unwind fully from my work day when my life partner, Craig, dropped the bomb. He told me that the WWE Royal Rumble pay per view that had been blaring from the living room was about to close out with a Women’s Main Event Royal Rumble. Wait, hold the fuck on, you mean the ladies are closing the show? HEADLINING AN EVENT?!

Then he told me that there were rumors that Ronda Rousey might surprise debut during the match.

Fuck. And yes.

So I sat my ass down, right there, on our grey cat scratched couch and proceeded to fall deep, deep into the world of, what we now call the WWE Women’s Division. Now full disclosure again on me here, I’m not what you would call a “lifelong wrestling fan”. I have dipped my toe in and out of the ring over the last decade since falling in love with a massive self-proclaimed monday night rasslin’ nut (Craig’s still got it!). I’ve been to Monday Night Raw two or three times. I attended Wrestlemania in Atlanta in 2011 (although honestly I slept through some of it because, again full disclosure, it was kind of a weird time for me). My husband and I once yelled “BAZINGA!” while waving a hot yellow hand made sign that said “BAZINGA!” at Daniel Bryan while we jumped up and down over a fence in the backlot of a Raleigh arena. He was getting inside his truck to leave, he did a little chuckle and an eye roll when he saw us before pulling out of the parking lot. It was pretty neat. We have since referred to this moment as “The time we bazinga’d Daniel Bryan.” We are still very proud.

Now that I think of it, there was also this brief period in the late nineties where I got really into The Wolf Pack. I had a crush on a new kid in my sixth grade class at church named Jonathan who talked a lot about the NWO. I tentatively watched a couple of matches with my big bro, initially just so I could understand my crush a little better and have something in common to talk about if I ever got the courage to speak to him. I kept watching it after I was over him though, because there was something silly and really cathartic that I liked about watching magnetic people beating the fake crap out of eachother. I also liked recreating the moves on my older brother.

At this point I feel like I need to mention that the WWF Superstars performance of “If You Only Knew” from the 1987 Slammy Awards is my favorite thing on the internet. I literally dare everyone to try to watch it without getting up off the couch to side step shuffle.

So you could say I’m a casual, medium-rare-to-medium wrestling fan. My interest has waned in the past due to personal issues I have with bad storylines, uninteresting characters, negative stereotypes, and just the over-all regressive awfulness that’s been associated with the empire Vince McMahon built. However as I’m not an expert in the field, I’m going to kick my soapbox to the side and let you guys form your own opinions of the franchise/network that is Wrestling Entertainment. I’m just here to say that once that Royal Rumble match started, my ass was glued to that couch for fifty-seven solid minutes. Guys, I had to pee. I wanted that hot Kashi when I sat down but once the match set in and that buzzer started sounding I was hooked like an addict.

It was more than just the lure of landing a possible crossover Superstar like Ronda Rousey, although yes that was a major pull. The thing that had me transfixed was the women duking it out on screen. They looked real. There was diversity in their style, shapes, sizes, personalities, presence, moves, motivation, and attitudes. They were kicking eachothers asses, but that wasn’t the thing that was surprising me. What really got me giddy was hearing the announcers commenting on their individual training, hobbies, stats, and accomplishments as wrestlers and people. It felt like I was watching the cast of GLOW acting out a live in ring performance, as if the Royal Rumble had somehow morphed into a real life extension of my favorite Netflix show. Y’all before I get on my feminist soapbox here, which yes admittedly I’m already standing on, can I just say one word that might make everyone understand where I’m coming from? Here goes,

Divas.

Jesus, without going into the full history let me just say that the WWE’s decision to evolve what was referred to as the Divas Division into the WWE Women’s Championship, thus rebranding “Divas” as “Women Superstars/ Superstars” is phenomenal. I mean, is the term “Superstar” phenomenal? No not really, it’s super corny. But that’s what they call the guys, so at least it’s equal. That’s what I dig. Equality. Equal playing ground for badass, ripped AF, war-painted, teeth baring, rage-fueled, gladiatrices who don’t give a fuck about spray tans. That’s what I mostly saw, and loved on my TV screen two nights ago.

I thought I had had my fill. My just desserts. I was nibbling on a secret stash of maple fudge couch-side at this point to celebrate. I thought it was all over. I got up, went into the kitchen, searched the freezer, only to figure out that I was totally out of Kashi Chimichurri Quinoa (BUMMER), and was about to ransack the cupboards when I heard Craig yell, “ABB GET IN HERE SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!”

So I ran. As I was crossing over from kitchen to living room I heard it. “I don’t give a damn ‘bout my reputation…” I was air guitaring now. “Never been afraid of any deviation” full on running in place. “A girl can do what she wants to do and that’s what I’m gonna do,” at this point I did my famous mid-air spin kick and which shook our living room furniture so hard that Craig yelled at me and told me I needed to calm down. “An’ I don’t give a damn ‘bout my bad reputation!”

No. No. No. No. FUCK ME!

Dude. Y’all. Guys. I LOVE RONDA ROUSEY. I’M IN LOVE WITH RONDA ROUSEY AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

Seriously though folks, I nearly collapsed from exhaustion after running/dancing/karate-chopping my couch and cats in excitement over this empowering series of events. First off, we have this whimsical beast named Asuka win the whole thing, we all think it’s over, then wham-bam-thank-you-MISTRESS we get a surprise pop-in from the Queen Boss herself, former everything weight champion, Ronda Rousey. I ran in place for the entire segment. I shook the furniture. I ignored Craig’s pleading. Naturally I spent the following morning reading the entire Rousey wikipedia and her full Reddit AMA. Naturally I am obsessed, inspired, and stoked that my interest in a fandom that I’ve been hot and cold is officially rekindled. Oh it’s more than just rekindled- it’s ON FIRE!

I was on the WWE website looking up tour dates first thing this morning. I ordered an officially licensed “Hot Ronda” ladies tee shirt off the WWE website.You can check my search history. Wait. No, don’t check my search history (at least give me like five seconds before you check it). I considered watching The Expendable 3 and Furious 7. Seven. Just to catch a glimpse of my muscle-bound muse. I already mentioned my soap box earlier, so I’m not gonna spend any more time than I need to up here. I do need to say though, that after reading up on Ronda Rousey’s life it’s safe to say that she’s tough as nails and authentic as fuck. She’s lived through shit, pushed past difficulty, and carved a place for herself in the universe with her own two, very powerful hands. She’s also beautiful and I want to smell her hair. In a respectful way.

Thinking about Ronda Rousey, reading about Ronda Rousey, and getting jazzed on life in general as a result is what got my ass up off the couch today. Sometimes I think about the main girl from the third Child’s Play movie doing push ups during that military camp scene when I need yoga motivation, today it was pure Women’s Division. Pure Rousey. I’m glad I got out there and hit the pavement today. I’m glad Ronda’s back and I’m beyond ecstatic to see where this new era of women’s professional wrestling entertainment will lead. Wait, we haven’t even talked about the fact that there’s an actual steampunk women’s wrestler currently on the roster. Her name is Becky Lynch, she travels through time, I just checked. While checking, I noted that the term “diva” was still in use on the official WWE website. Guys, I realize that not everything can or will change all at once. I’m just grateful that we’re moving full speed ahead and with Ronda Rousey on our side.

#ronda rousey #wwe #royal rumble #women's wrestling #girl power

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