Tumgik
#i know that but GOD it’s just so long and complicated and my attention span does not do well for films
roaringroa · 1 year
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oficially diagnosed with adhd babeyyyyyyy
#this is so funny to me cause if you asked me a year ago if i thought i had adhd i would confidently have said no#but then in the middle of a therapy session i could almost see the imaginary lamp over my therapist's head turn on#and she said you know what? i think you should investigate if you have adhd#and i was a little skeptical about it but i mentioned it to my parents and they were like hold on... she's right#and then on the same week i was hanging out with a newly made friend and outta nowhere she stopped me and asked if i had adhd#so i was like welp... maybe i do#and then i made a psychiatrist appointment who sent me to a neuropsychologist to take multiple tests involving logical thinking memory#attention span etc etc#i did very high on logical thinking but the attention part was low and the memory part was average#which means i can't pay attention well but the moments that i do i retain and can understand well#it explains a lot cause i had literally no trouble with school like i was top5 students in my school up until 9th grade cause we didn't have#to do any long term studying or projects or whatever#but then in high school when things got more complicated and i HAD to pay attention to understand concepts things got much harder#i couldn't just logic my way out of exams anymore and also i had way more classes#like when i had afternoon classes (two times a week) i literally just gave up cause i knew i couldn't pay attention#but i mean i still passed every class with no final exams or anything but i went from a 90% student to a 65% one#(except in humanities i love you humanities)#and then i got into college and the pandemic hit and online classes were absolutely awful like it was truly bad for me#i was a portuguese major for a year and a half and i honest to god don't remember 5% of what i was supposed to know#again i did well on my tests and stuff i had a 88% average but like#that was solely from panicking pre due dates and crying and doing the little reading i absolutely had to do 10 hours before the exam was due#and then immediately forgetting everything the second i hit send#i think there were maybe 5 ocasions during the whole year and a half where i was able to actually pay attention during an online class#most of the time i tried for like 3 minutes and gave up#and it really made me sad cause i thought i was just a lazy ass throwing my college experience away#which made me extra upset cause i was studying in like basically the best college in the country#and it's a public one so the people were paying for my studies only for me to throw it all away??#anyway it was a tough time for me mentally and this diagnosis makes me feel so relieved#like when i can't pay attention it's because of the way my brian opperates and not my character#my post
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lordoftablecloths · 9 months
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vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it
im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs
dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills
im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s
i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?
if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)
if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?
its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo
okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now
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obeymeswdwritings · 2 years
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Hello hello! I was wondering if I could please request headcanons for Simeon, lil brother Luke, asmo, beel and dia with a reader who can and will infodump about mythology and history at any chance given? Thank you!
(Feel free to decline for any reason, stay safe!)
-🧸 Anon
I focused on Greek mythology since I know a lot about that, hopefully that's okay!
Characters- Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Diavolo, Simeon, Luke
Gn!Reader
Warnings- Swearing, my personal rants about mythology, certain historians, excessive use of petnames
Category- Headcanons, Request answers
Asmodeus
go on, babe, tell him about the French Revolution while he does your nails.
Asmo gets very attached to learning about human-world history. It annoys Lucifer to no end, though, since he starts calling guillotines and anarchy romantic.
He's absolutely fascinated by the idea of multiple gods, and loves learning about the various jobs they have. (He's very upset about Zeus, though. Just Zeus overall.)
Absolutely loves hearing you talk while he focuses on his skincare, his latest cosmetic masterpiece, or even just while you hang out. Getting to learn about your interests is lovely!
makes you talk to him whenever he’s trying to sleep, explaining that he likes your voice and enjoys having you talk, he finds it calming!
Beelzebub
Beel may not have the best attention span when it comes to non-food-related things, but he’s happy to at least hear you talk, even if he zones out!
He starts wanting to make (eat) historical dishes, so they’ll probably become a thing whenever it’s his turn to cook.
as he mentions rather frequently, you being around often helps his hunger, so having you happy to talk about something for long periods of time is definitely helpful.
He’s always happy to listen to you, even if he doesn’t understand everything in the myths. (To be fair, between the differing versions and family tree, they’re fairly complex.)
Diavolo
he’s so confused. Human history is so complicated, thanks to the much shorter lives. Plus they have like a war and a half, and you have how many again?
Of course, he’s also fascinated. all of the intricacies are thrilling to hear about!
He takes notes, because of course he does.
finds as many history and mythology books as he can find and insists you read them to him, happily curling up by your side with his paperwork.
Sooner or later you’re gonna have to sleep, but until then, he’s an absolutely fabulous listener.
Simeon
mhm mhm this all makes a lot of sense! Ignore his fragmented, panicked texts to Solomon asking what the difference between a tyrant and a dictator is, at least he’s trying to learn!
Simeon is a very sits-on-tables kinda guy, which’ll lead to a lot of funny situations, as he’ll fall off of the table, screaming the whole time. He jumps whenever he’s surprised, shocked, or startled.
He’s happy to supply you with Celestial Realm history in return, even though it’s not nearly as interesting.
He’s the best at not zoning out, literally ever. It’s a bit unnerving
Luke
why were there so many murderers? he asks. is it because they got cool names? he continues. Please help him.
he’s confused, mostly by the family trees. (“I don’t think even Asmodeus would come up with that! That’s horrible!”)
look! miniature cakes shaped like historical objects! He made them for the Devildom History teacher, and you of course! There’s even little constellations in the back of some landscapes!
Mentions at one point that Hestia sounds like a lovely person. He’s right, you know.
Just absolutely loves having you talk while he bakes. For newer recipes, stick to simpler tales until he’s reached the decorations.
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spark-glow · 10 months
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2, 17, 22, 27!
Ooh, thank you!!!
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2.) Games you're currently playing.
The game i'm playing the most at the moment is definitely Apex Legends. A good portion of the Gulag has gotten back into it and it's been just... a total fucking blast. I played Apex back when it first released and I really enjoyed it, but slowly tapered off of it for whatever reason. Now, I can really see myself sticking with it. It's just so much fun.
To illustrate how much god damn fun i'm having, here's a clip King got of me giggling like an idiot because someone who was also down at the time was being silly with me on the ground;
I love this clip.
Honorary mention goes to Beasts of Bermuda again, since they just dropped the new seasonal Lurdu skin event and added a whole new section of the map to Titania. I love BoB to absolute bits and pieces, so it's always great to come back to it after some time. That being said, the Ashen Trenches area scared the shit out of my thalassophobic ass, so that was fun. ━━━━━━━
17.) A game you didn't finish but would like to get back to or restart someday.
God, this is hard because there's a good handful of games i'd really like to give a better chance to or just fell off of because of attention span.
The first one that comes to mind is The Long Dark. I adore hardcore survival games, and I think The Long Dark is probably one of the most complicated survival games out there to date. I desperately wanna know what's going on in the story, but I just haven't had the time.
I've also never finished Borderlands 3 because of how egregiously horrible the story was to my brain, but... I guess i'm so in love with the universe that I should at least try and finish it. Yeesh. ━━━━━━━
22.) A game ending that's really stuck with you.
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number. Always, hands down, first in line. No ending has effected me like that ending. I wish I could go back and experience it blind again, if only to be shellshocked once more. I thought about it nonstop for 3 days straight afterwards.
I don't even want to say anything about it in case someone hasn't played it or seen it. Please, please play Hotline Miami and Hotline Miami 2. Please. ━━━━━━━
27.) A game you love the atmosphere of.
I already answered this one, but i'm gonna put something new here; Viscera Cleanup Detail. Environmental storytelling, the video game. There really is just... something special about it, I don't know how to describe it. If you know, you know I guess.
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birdantlers · 2 years
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18 and 19 for the ask game por favor please
(I forgot to copy them but basically these asked your opinions on GT and super)
18. I have seen two episodes of GT, however I do know the general synopsis/arc plots.
My first exposure to gt was a bit tarnished because even though it made little sense to do so, Nick aired it like the WEEK after Kai ended. So GT came immediately after cell saga, which was so inconsistent and confusing to kid-me that I just didn't watch it after the premiere lol.
I get that Kai Final Chapters didn't exist at the time, but tbh I would have rather they just not aired GT at all. Because rather than just having the end of Kai hit me with the full force of a finale, I just thought the story was continuing seamlessly at the time. Also that meant I got gradually more bitter as they slowly stopped airing Kai in favor of GT haha.
First impressions aside though, GT does have some ideas that I like, and I do want to watch it in full someday. I also tuned in to watch the episode where Piccolo dies (bc I happened to catch the bumper for it woo) and I really like that scene. So much so that I still have a fully scripted pmv about it.
GT has a lot of irritating drawbacks like pacing, lack of conviction for a lot of stuff that happens, and very limited spotlight on the wider cast (why is Goku the mc again for fucksake please pass the torch already) but it does interest me.
Also trunks can rock a butch fit and thems facts ok. Gender envy
19. I have not seen Super. I've seen some of the movies, and I tried to read the manga recently, but reading dragonball is not as investing to me as watching it. I think it's a combination of my woeful attention span and just personal preference. That being said, I do know generally what happens. Just less so than GT
I'm gonna be honest, the visuals are the biggest biggest turnoff for me. It just doesn't look like dragon ball—or sound like it, for that matter. I know very well about the complications with production and the abuse the animators suffered, but that doesn't change the fact that when I see characters' busted faces and godawful proportions and bad color palette,, I just can't get invested. It literally takes me out of the moment. I'm glad that it gets better later on, but man it gives me like. DB uncanny valley lmao.
Also I must be honest, I'm just not super invested in what the story puts forward. I'm beyond tired of Goku and Vegeta-centric stuff even without having seen Super, and some story choices are made that make me roll my eyes. Gohan's characterization in particular, as well as the whole Mai debacle.
I do like the slightly more laid back slice-of-life tone, and seeing how close the characters have clearly grown over the years is really sweet. But when there's Frieza and alternate universes and gods and crushing power crawl and whatever else, I just.. don't care, man. I know it's a shonen, but I need more emotion in my stories than what I've come to understand DBS has.
OGDB's tone and scale is vastly different, so this isn't as much of an issue with that, but long about the middle of Buu saga, I really began to understand how vital it was to have a character like Gohan as a lens for the plot. Whether intentional or not, he brought a lot of emotion and very needed.. sort of somberness to DBZ. Imo, he was the emotional core of it. He wasn't the only one, but it's very clear that DBZ's objective was to show his maturation.
Even if Toriyama wanting to end DB at cell saga is a rumor, I still think Cell saga makes for the better ending because it's a completion of Gohan's arc that really hammers home the passage of time into a new age. Then Buu saga implies that it's going to keep going in that direction, only to backpedal and make it about Goku and Vegeta again.
Even though Vegeta's arc was wrapped up in Buu saga, that's kind of where my investment in his character ends. He's not a bad character, but from what I understand his arc in super is pretty derivative and almost a repetition. I'm sure Vegeta fans love it, but the simple fact is I'm not a Vegeta fan. Or at least, my enjoyment of the show isnt dependent on him. Or Goku—though I honestly think Goku has been underutilized if you can believe it. Specifically in terms of an emotional arc.
I really wish he and other characters would be given struggles, doubts, fears, conflict, etc that DON'T solely stem from fighting or an opponent or their strength or what-have-you. I really want more depth and introspection in DB (and it's there! I promise you it's there and you don't even have to break the show's vibe to portray it), but I'm not expecting anything much.
DB is stagnating Hard to me, which was part of why DBSSH was such a breath of fresh air..... Even though it still fumbled the ball with it's emotional throughlines but that's an Entirely different tangent too long for Tumblr tbh. It gave the more neglected characters a chance to breathe and have their own story, and it at least presented some ideas for some various character-driven emotional arcs,,, kind of. Maybe it was an accident bc idk it sure feels like it at times. But it at the very least gave me hope.
Dragon ball has to shake things up and get some fresh eyes on the ball if it's ever going to be as resonant as Z or ogdb imo. I desperately wish it would start taking itself more seriously and introduce more cerebral and challenging ideas, but afaik that's not what's been going on. So I have yet to get around to catching up on Super.
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casspurrjoybell-27 · 6 months
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Claimed by the Beast - Chapter 15b
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*Warning Adult Content*
Fire - Part 2
- Everett -
When they eventually release hands, Everett says...
"Thanks for getting me out of there."
"You're welcome," Josie smiles but one look in her eyes easily reveals the panic and fear swirling.
"Tensions are high right now, and with everything going on between you and Knox..."
Everett makes a face.
"Sorry. Um but whatever that may be, I just knew he wouldn't handle this well. Not like he normally does when they have to leave for a job."
"I don't understand," Everett says.
"It's hitting him hard having to leave you behind," Josie clarifies. "All while not knowing if he'll make it back to keep his promise about protecting you."
Everett isn't sure how to feel about that.
Truthfully, he can't allow himself to feel much of anything, not if he's serious about keeping his heart intact while living with a man who's constantly trying to steal it.
"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to respond to that," Everett says, maintaining a blank face.
"You don't have to. I'm just talking," Josie says. "Every time Gavin has to go out to work a job, he always gets a bit moody with me. And I'm sure you know by now, but Knox has never claimed a person before. He's never had an Old lady, never been in a committed relationship. Then you suddenly pop onto the scene and now he's out here with a whole ass roommate."
Josie laughs, patting a blushing Everett on the shoulder.
"Believe it or not, that man cares about you on a level that he probably doesn't even understand right now. Whatever hell he gives you while staying here, please don't be afraid to give it back to him so long as you know he means well."
"You heard us arguing, didn't you?" Everett asks, embarrassed.
Josie nods.
"Shit. I didn't know we were that loud."
"You weren't. I only heard the tail end by the time I reached the door," Josie says.
"That outsider comment? Don't take it to heart. I told you before that not even Gavin will loop me in on club business and we're married. Honest to God, I work damn hard to seduce the truth out of that man and the majority of the time, it doesn't even fucking work."
Everett laughs.
"I hear you. I just wish Knox would've toned down the asshole act a little bit. If he truly cares about me and wants to keep me safe like you're implying, then he's showing it in an odd way."
"Men are complicated creatures, especially when it comes to expressing their emotions. Not saying that to give Knox a pass but like, come on... The guy can be a little dense when it comes to shit like that," Josie teases.
When they reach the empty kitchen, her smile widens.
"You know what I like to do to help keep my mind busy while Gavin is out committing God knows what crime?"
Everett shakes his head.
"What?"
"I bake," she exclaims. "Are you in the mood for some chocolate chip cookies?"
"Hell yeah."
Everett smiles, rubbing his hands together.
"How can I help?"
Getting his hands dirty in the kitchen isn't a big deal for Everett.
Some of his fondest childhood memories are from when he used to help his parents cook.
On multiple occasions, his father tried to teach him how to be neat while cooking but given his age and short attention span, his mother knew better.
She let him do whatever he wanted, make whatever kind of mess he wanted and he loved her for it immensely.
Not a day goes by when she isn't on his mind.
"And now we wait," Josie announces thirty minutes later.
The cookie dough needs to chill for at least an hour before they cook it, something about flavors setting and fats solidifying, Josie had said.
Everett has nothing but time, so he doesn't complain.
"Doing all this has me feeling homesick," Everett mumbles after taking a seat at the kitchen table.
He rests his head against the cool wood, staring at Josie.
"I miss my parents and my friends. I try to stay positive but it isn't easy living here. Knox doesn't make it easy."
Josie frowns, for once.
The expression not mixing well with her bubbly personality.
"I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time, Everett. I really wish you weren't."
"I really wish I had never indulged Shaun," Everett confesses.
"He was supposed to be simple. A fun fuck. Instead of that, I end up in the middle of his gang war. How the hell is that fair?"
"It isn't."
"But I'm alive, so I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, you know? The Fallen Angels didn't have to take me in. They didn't have to protect my family and friends. Knox didn't have to vouch for me but he did. So I should be more grateful, right? I shouldn't cause him so much trouble, especially not while he's putting his life on the line for me..."
"Stop." Josie holds up a hand, cutting him off.
"Your feelings are completely valid, Everett. This situation that you're in right now undoubtedly sucks ass and you have every right to hate it. Never, ever, lie down and suffer in silence. You don't have to and I won't let you."
"She's right."
Both their heads whip around at the sound of Knox's voice.
He walks into the kitchen with a dark aura riding his back, looking the epitome of evil.
He slows to a stop by Everett's chair, looking down at him with the same cold grey eyes as before.
So devastatingly beautiful and savage.
"I like your fire, kitten. Don't let me be the reason why you put it out." Everett blinks back tears, unable to process the flood of emotions that hit him at the moment.
"Okay." 
"I thought you guys had left already," Josie says.
"What's the hold up?"
"They're waiting on me."
Knox never takes his eyes off Everett.
He doesn't even ask for privacy when he leans down and grips the back of Everett's neck with one hand.
He kisses him, short and sweet, right there in front of Josie.
Unashamed and proud.
"I will come back to you," he whispers the promise before pulling away, not allowing Everett to get the last word in as he turns to exit the kitchen, taking the darkness with him.
"I told you."
Josie sighs, shaking her head.
"Men are complicated creatures."
Everett blushes, saying nothing.
What more is there to say?
It's true he can't stand Knox at times, even hates his guts more often than not.
That doesn't stop him from praying to God, begging Him to protect his beast as he leaves to slay their enemies.
Not really religious, Everett prays harder than he ever has before.
He prays that Knox will make it back to him.
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jaythelay · 7 months
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Not gonna be surprised if it's common knowledge already, will be if it's not, but Youtube will randomly unsubscribe you from channels. Also unlike videos.
This was a problem back in the day that I guarantee was just not fixed as much as it was intentional. A channel I'd never unsub from, but haven't watched in a long time, was not subscribed too.
Fact: I ain't unsubbing from Karl the man Jobst.
He isn't of any importance to this mind you, just that, after years of thinking to myself "is youtube just...unliking videos and unsubbing from channels at random?" I can safely say yes to both. Why? God knows. If it's a bug, it's been around too damn long to be considered anything but a feature.
It's utterly random. Random channels, random videos, I haven't tested who would be exempt because honestly, where to begin? Why unsub/unlike random gaming videos?
Here's my dumbshit theory: It isn't about specific people or creators, but genres. I've been saying YT is going to be hyper focused on TV and talking heads for a while, utterly abandoning the content creator for bigger, far less complicated bux from corporations.
It's about dwindling numbers over time to feign a loss of interest in this medium/genre of content creation in order to make the numbers appear lopsided to the algorithm. Only those willing to play the game of daily uploads with strict rules for language and content shall be allowed.
Ya have to remember YT makes no money. Google is Google, they honestly don't need YT and actively hate having to deal with it, they'll tell you this every time something changes by personally fucking over the creator in some magnificently fucked up new way.
They've been trying to push good quality content out for the cheap, formulaic crap that shits profit off children's horrid attention spans. Why do you think they're pushing 4k and 60fps behind YT premium? Why doesn't their autoplay pause eventually? You sleep watching videos, free money, where as netflix is already paid and wants to save money. Why push anti-adblock nonsense? Various reasons all of which amount to "corporations somehow making recording breaking, streak setting, record breaking, record profits, can't afford good advertising nor leaving people the fuck alone"
Google is slowly transitioning YT. They've raised the temp multiple times and only learned how to do it slowly as of late. Of all companies to be scared of as actually intelligent and capable capitalist fucks, Google is of the top dogs.
Mark my words, I've been saying it for 2 decades at this point, but the fact remains: YT intentionally makes itself worse in intentionally horrid ways specifically to fuck the creator over, but absolutely will never do the same to a company or celebrity with one backing them. I mean shit, look at Hulu, it's a dumpster fire nobody could respect, but it made companies money, so, now streaming is terrible because everyone realized they could do it, do it cheap, crappy, and offer worse for more, and people will actually buy it.
Like they did another netflix subscription. Believe it or not, but corporations make decisions that harm the consumer and citizen in order to gain just a small fraction for themselves, rather than ever improve their own platform or content.
And in netflix's case, I mean shit fuck them, fuck them hard, but when you idiots ACTUALLY used Hulu? Fucking HULU? I'd say "Fuck standards, they don't gottem" too. Pay Piggy Useful Idiots.
And that, is why they randomly unsubscribe and unlike...stuff.
It's totally realistic guys! (But no seriously it is and please develop standards)
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1kook · 3 years
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crunchyroll & rail
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the 10th installment of my netflix & chill series !
SUMMARY Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. WARNINGS smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… MISC fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality, RATING m (18+) WC 8.7k
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NOTE (!) the smut in this chapter is relatively short ! I was more concerned with writing this monumental step in their relationship, so sorry to all the lads who come here specifically for the p0rn but today we focus on the l0ve <333 anyway nc 10!!!!! Can u fuckin believe….
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Jungkook mentions it at the dinner table one night. You’re not eating— well, you are not eating; Jungkook has been stocking up on his protein intake like a madman —but finishing up some work you had brought home. Your back aches, your eyes burn. The mere sound of his soft voice has all those feel-good endorphins shooting through your nervous system like a shot of adrenaline. “We should take a trip,” he says, fork clattering against his plate to signify the end of his feast. 
Your fingers tap across your keyboard, eyes flickering between an Excel sheet and the report you’re typing out. It takes you a moment to respond, a delayed, “huh,” that even Jungkook doesn’t find convincing.  
In the background, you’re listening to what has to be one of the worst voiceovers of the original Sailor Moon series in a language you don’t even understand. But you know the series like the back of your hand, know what exactly is happening even if you don’t understand what they’re saying, because you’ve watched it only about a million times. It’s mostly just there for background purposes anyway, some white noise to try and replicate the noisy soundtrack of your office. 
To make matters worse—complicated?—, you had been too lazy to get onto your usual pirating sites and had settled for the five minute, five part, 240p clips of Sailor Moon on YouTube (you know the ones), and Jungkook has to wait until Episode 74: Part ⅖ ends before you grace him with a proper response. “Where do you wanna go, baby?” you ask, giving your eyes a break from the data as you move to scour YouTube for Episode 74: Part 3/5. 
He’s stretching back now, arms wound up above his head. His hair— god, his hair —is an ashy color now, a faded version of its golden ancestor from a few months ago. Soon, he’s planning on going back to brown, claims he’s getting too old to be dying his hair, whatever that means. For now, you watch his inked fingers run through his scalp; he looks delectable. Maybe you’re hungrier than you initially thought. Or at least thirstier. “A cabin,” he suggests, and he offers this little half shrug that would otherwise seem normal had you not been well-versed in the art of Jungkook Body Language. His front teeth nibble at his lip, eyes laser focused on his empty plate. Even now, he still gets nervous asking you out. That thought alone makes your ego soar as high as an airplane. “Just something small.”
Usually, “something small” with Jungkook ends up being something big and, in most cases, something expensive. Which you’re totally not opposed to— you’re at the point in your relationship where you don’t even bother trying to dissuade Jungkook from showering you with gifts. It’s one of his many, many, many, many forms of loving you and, well, he knows you like the back of his hand. He rarely misses. 
Lo and behold, it is a grander affair than a simple cabin. “Well, it’s more like a resort,” he confesses, reaching across the table for your hand. Immediately, his thumb finds itself rubbing over the simple band of your promise ring. “Just wanna do something nice for you. I know you’ve been tired lately,” he adds on, voice a quiet murmur that nearly gets lost under the intensity of the pout that appears whenever he becomes even the slightest bit bashful. 
You smile, the fondness in your heart skyrocketing to impossible heights when he lifts your hand to press those pretty petal lips against your knuckles. “Well, just let me know when,” you tell Jungkook. “So I can request time off from work.” 
Episode 74: Part 3/5 starts playing after an ad, and you’d pause it for the sake of preserving this moment with Jungkook, but it’s hidden under so many tabs on your laptop that you lose it the second you leave the tab. Jungkook’s head tilts to the side, sending his ashy locks cascading beautifully. “You know that show is on Crunchyroll,” Jungkook says, seemingly moving past his bout of shyness now. “And you have the password.” 
“Do I,” you murmur, but he’s lost you once more, your true talent of typing with one hand showing itself as you return to your Excel sheet, the other still firmly squeezed in his grasp. Jungkook releases soon enough anyway, cleans up the table quickly, and disappears off into the kitchen. He sings when he washes the dishes, likes to pretend he’s a terrible singer even though you’ve told him countless times he could easily take X Factor by storm. (And you know exactly what it takes to wow those judges— you spent the entire last month psychotically watching multiple X Factor seasons from multiple different countries, nearly considered joining the damn audition yourself.) The horribly dubbed Sailor Moon is yelling now, shrieking really, and Jungkook calls from the kitchen, “don’t forget to take your contacts out, sweetheart.” 
It’s domestic and it's nerve-wracking. 
You want Jungkook, that much is a fact. Aristotle and Socrates and that other guy could debate the philosophical intricacies of the world, turn this dimension in on itself until it was a scrambled mess of emotion and thought, but the one thing they could never change, could never even question, is your love for your boyfriend. You want Jungkook badly, but more importantly, you want Jungkook forever. 
And you’re sure Jungkook probably, maybe, hopefully feels that way too. But the way you feel is… slightly concerning to say the least. For starters, you’re convinced your love for Jungkook was meant to be, and that’s saying a lot coming from you. You’re not one for cheesy, soulmate tales— that was more Jungkook’s thing —but the more you think about it, the more you become convinced that you and Jungkook were destined to meet. Like the planets aligned one year, the stars conferred, a tectonic plate somewhere in California shifted; whatever it may have been, something happened somewhere that led to the birth of this beautiful romance of yours. 
Lately, being with Jungkook has this inexplicably fiery feeling blossoming in your chest, these waves of emotion that sometimes have you fantasizing about the weirdest of scenarios with him. Like yelling at him for not taking the garbage out on time, or bumping into each other as you make dinner in the kitchen, or buying a new rug together. 
(Most drastically, the other day, you had a dream where you were pregnant and Jungkook was there and there was a house and a dog and an annoyingly friendly neighbor and this god-awful tile in the bathroom.) 
Long story short, you’ve been fantasizing about a forever with Jungkook. The concerning part is the timing; was this too early? You’re nearly halfway through your second year with Jungkook now, and you know most people date for many, many years before the mere thought of union even occurs to them. In another life, maybe you were the same, would have held off until the very last moment. But with Jungkook things just feel right (at least for you), like there wasn’t going to be anyone else after him. And you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be. 
You slump back into your seat, eyes fluttering shut. Too many thoughts swirl around your mind, and the screech of the Sailor Moon voiceover on screen certainly doesn’t help. How you managed to spiral that far down your thoughts in the span of one 240p, five minute clip of a larger episode amazes even you. To add onto your worries, the clip abruptly ends and Episode 74: Part ⅘ is nowhere in sight, a fact that draws a frustrated moan out of the already sensitive you. 
Luckily, Jungkook eventually returns, standing closely behind you. His presence is enormous, the room suddenly overflowing with a shit ton of those feel-good endorphins all over again, except this time they reach an all-time high when he leans over and quietly shuts your laptop. “Come sleep,” he says softly, and it’s a pleasant mixture of his genuinely caring voice and that horndog purr of his that lures you into bed. And it’s that same voice that croons softly into your ear, fingers nestled between your folds until you’re orgasming yourself into a deep slumber. 
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Much to no one’s surprise, the cabin turns out to be quite the luxurious lodging; two floors of dark oak everywhere you turn, a stunning stone fireplace in the bedroom, and a truly breathtaking view of the resort’s snowy hill (read: front row seats to watch all the snowboarders and skiers wipe out in the snow). Jungkook had splurged quite the pretty penny on it, so you make a point to clap it up for him when he first opens the door to your temporary home for the weekend. 
The main bedroom is beyond words. It’s got an attached balcony (that you doubt you’ll be using in this chilly weather), and a wooden canopy bed that makes you feel like a royal (that you will certainly be using). It’s separated into two areas, the bed space and a tiny entertainment area on the other side of the room. Perhaps the best thing about the room— and the cabin itself —is the huge, smart TV mounted above said stone fireplace and the fact it allows the phone mirroring option in lieu of not having any streaming sites. And as is with every and anything to do with televisions, Jungkook is the most excited of the two of you. “Baby, look,” he beams, pointing excitedly at whatever he’s got mirrored onto the television this time. Knowing him, it’s probably another documentary. 
You had the forethought to finish your work before the trip, spent two days in the office going absolutely ham on this month’s final reports until your department head promptly sent you home to finish the rest there. You had given yourself a fright upon entering the bathroom that night, the state of your under eyes so severe, you feared it was sufficient cause for a national emergency. Similarly, Jungkook had done the same with his work, cooped himself up in his study until he was free from the shackles of capitalism for the weekend. All this to say you’ve missed him these past few days. 
But even though you’re sorely malnourished in the affection department and craving a good kiss or two, you wouldn’t dare interrupt one of Jungkook’s little nerdy, tech-induced fanboy moments. They’re cute, in their own geeky way, providing some insight to a mellower side of your boyfriend who looks on with childlike wonder; Jungkook’s eyes always get so big when he talks about nerdy stuff. You get to work hanging up the silk shirt he packed for tomorrow night’s fancy dinner at the resort, listening to some British narrator’s detailed description of the functionally extinct Northern white rhinos living under 24-hour surveillance in Kenya.  
(Jungkook’s really into nature documentaries again, had spent a few nights sniffling as he watched that one Koko the gorilla film.) 
The original plan was to head to the nearest store and whip up something small to eat at the cabin. But Jungkook is a little tired from the long drive, slumps down into the couch in front of the now lit fireplace like a limbless blob as he tunes into his documentary. His nose is a little red from the outside chill. It’s so cute. He’s so cute. You love him so much, you fear you’ll accidentally squeeze his cheeks to death. It’s a thought that occurs more times than you’d like. 
According to the pamphlet on the nightstand, the resort has its own room-service to order from. Normally you would do that, but not this time; you had gotten into a bit of a squabble with the man at the front desk after he had tried to withhold Jungkook’s reservation for arriving two minutes past your check-in time, called each other all sorts of names before he backed down and gave you your room key. So you’re still a little salty, to say the least. Instead, you settle in for some pizza in front of the huge TV, calling up the nearest place to order some of Jungkook’s and your favorites. 
You plop down beside him, instinctively cuddling closer when he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “So,” you start, flipping through the rest of the resort’s introductory pamphlet. There’s a loud roar on screen. In all honesty, you didn’t even know what Northern white rhinos sounded like until then, and you probably never would have if not for the man beside you. “What are you in the mood for tonight, sweet boy?” 
You’re not sure if it’s the fatigue or the overall relaxed vibes he’d been exuding since the moment you entered the cabin, but Jungkook is weirdly cooperative today. “Whatever you want,” he responds, head on your shoulder. He even places the remote in your hands, gives your enclosed fist a gentle tap as if he’s just handed you the secret to eternal youth. In other words, it’s a rare sight to behold. “This is your trip, pretty girl.” 
You appreciate the sentiment, but feel the need to clear the air, tucking your feet up onto the couch as you snuggle closer. “Our trip,” you clarify, and snatch the remote anyway before he changes his mind. 
Jungkook releases a quiet huff of laughter, head rolling back against the couch cushions to display his thick, juicy neck that definitely doesn’t awaken any vampiric tendencies in you. “We can even watch some anime if you want,” he murmurs, casually throwing an arm around your shoulders in a way that would have made any teenage girl in the early 2000s squeal with excitement. It’s one of those barely there touches, but the way he holds you makes you feel so safe and warm and loved. So loved and in love. “The ones on Crunchyroll, though.”
For the sake of preserving these good vibes (and your ears [and Jungkook’s sanity]), you navigate to the Crunchyroll app on your phone, quickly finding your latest obsession and mirroring it onto the big television before Jungkook can react. “Sailor Moon?” he asks with a tone that implies a feigned interest, mostly out of respect for you; he’s, sadly, still not the big dorky anime fan you had hoped to convert him into. 
“In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you,” you recite dutifully, snatching up the throw blanket on the end of the couch. It’s barely big enough to cover the both of you, has Jungkook’s outstretched legs and your booty subject to the chilly air. Who cares, Jungkook is a furnace anyway. 
He snorts. “Punish me,” he mumbles, as if he doesn’t believe it. His snarky comment wins him a playful pinch against his doughy cheek, not that he particularly defends himself against it anyway, eyes fluttering shut as you tug at the pale skin. 
“Don’t fuck with the moon, Jungkook,” you warn him, snuggling closely against his side as your favorite opening song begins filtering through the speakers of the television before you. It’s infinitely better than the 240p YouTube clips you had subjected yourself to the entire last week, the graphics scarily clear. 
“Right, of course,” Jungkook says, but a hint of amusement seems to curl around the sound anyway. Nevertheless, he lets it go, cuddles into your side as you pour your full focus into watching yet another group of ragtag teenagers with supernatural abilities kick some ass. 
You can tell Jungkook isn’t really into it, and you’re torn between just snuggling him into a well deserved nap or taping his eyelids open so he can become a fan of this show with you. 
The loving, caring, adoring side of you says Jungkook deserves the entire world and more (the more in question preferably being a fluffy blanket and a nap). He worked hard this week, just like you, and on top of that he was the one who planned this entire weekend getaway for the two of you to enjoy. You want him to rest up.
The obnoxiously in love girlfriend-slash-best friend in you says Jungkook is sorely missing out on one of the greatest shows on planet Earth and that naps are for the weak. 
Your jumbled thoughts are interrupted by a loud sound on the television, a yelp from Ms. Sailor Moon herself that has you jolting up in surprise. Jungkook welcomes you deeper into his embrace, chuckles at your little fright. “Scared?” he teases in that low voice that makes you feel like you’re going crazy, really. So crazy and irrational, and the only thing that stops you from bombarding him with an unexpected outpouring of love is that hard and sharp thing that pokes your side when you get too close to him. It’s not Jungkook, sadly, but something in the front pocket of his hoodie instead. 
And for some reason, part of your brain is stuck all of a sudden, rewinding the last two and a half years like a broken cassette tape that had the tape reel hastily stuffed back inside by a toddler. It’s choppy to say the least, and it certainly doesn’t help when Jungkook calls your name softly, tenderly. “__,” he murmurs. It’s a little weird; it’s not often he says your name, mostly referring to you with one of the many pet names from that part of his vocabulary that focuses exclusively on terms of endearment. Your heart skips a beat. 
Now, if anyone were to ask, it’s approximately around this time that you begin to spiral. The pink curve of his bottom lip is just too close, the mole on his nose too prominent. Paired with the obnoxious tittering of Usagi on screen, you can feel your thoughts begin to overlap, bumping into each other within the realm of your brain until all that comes out are the messiest of messy thoughts. 
They go like this: 
Most episodes of any anime run for approximately thirty minutes. Take out the commercial breaks, the opening and ending credits, and it becomes something closer to twenty. Twenty minutes per episode, filled with plot and gags and tears and whatever else necessary to make you feel something, anything really. 
“What’s in your pocket?” you ask tentatively. 
In contrast, it takes approximately two seconds for Jungkook’s lips to quirk up— first the right side, always the right side —and his eyes to crinkle. Two seconds for him to smile, a sweet expression that reminds you of Netflix and college and quiet laughter and tattoos and silly YouTube videos and cookies and cell phones and job applications and blond hair; two seconds to make you feel everything all at once. 
“There’s nothing,” he says, but his cheeks are pink, and it’s not from the cold anymore. His smile is so big it makes your own cheeks ache just looking at it. You can’t even hear the television anymore. Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. “It was supposed to be for tomorrow,” he admits, unwrapping his arm from around you. 
It’s a little funny, somehow, because his hands are covered in ink, in tiny doodles and intricate pieces of swirls and words that ooze this aura of strength and toughness. But they tremble when he opens it, as unsteady as a wispy dandelion on a windy day, fumbling with the box. And when you look closely, he’s been biting at the skin along his thumb again, that nervous habit you’ve been trying forever to help him overcome. 
Someone is saying something on screen, something important to the plot. The volume is loud, but not as loud as your heart. Not as loud as Jungkook’s quiet murmur when he speaks again. “Will you marry me?” he asks softly, looks at you with flushed cheeks and big eyes and his heart on his sleeve. 
The answer has always been the same, hasn’t changed since the first time he planted the seed in your mind. Still, it catches in your throat, nearly loses out to a surprised and emotional sob that you barely manage to bite down. You had just been speaking, had just been ready to deliver a whole spiel on the importance of him watching Sailor Moon with you. But when you try now, it’s raspy and dry, as if you haven’t used your voice in years. “I— yes,” you exhale, surprised by the lonely tear that trails down your cheek. You go to wipe it away, but Jungkook beats you with a gentle hand cupping your cheek. 
His smile is wobbly, patches of red blossoming across his face that eventually consume his entire appearance as he leans his forehead against yours. Only then do you realize he’s crying, and you laugh out of reflex. “You’re crying,” you say, and Jungkook snorts. 
“You cried first,” he sniffles, smiling. “You made me cry.” 
He looks like a wreck, but, like, a hot wreck. An engaged, hot wreck who’s eyes flicker back to the TV to remind you to pause your anime, always so considerate. You do, hastily smashing buttons on the remote before remembering it’s controlled by your phone, hands flying back and forth as your nerves actively work to retire themselves after Jungkook’s proposal. “Easy there,” he soothes, eventually catching your hand in his, drawing it up for a kiss against your knuckles. 
The ring fits perfectly, snuggly. Vaguely, a memory drifts through your thoughts of Jungkook and Doyeon on a rampant mission to reorganize your jewelry box a few months ago, but it disappears as quickly as it came. You’re taken by the ring, a simple band with a pretty diamond on top. It’s a good mixture of you and him; flashy yet mild. 
“You love me,” you marvel, a revelation you’ve had the honor of experiencing time and time again with Jungkook. Still, it never fails to render you speechless. He hums. 
“I do,” he says, taking your hand in his. “It’s the easiest thing for me. Like breathing, or existing. I think I was made to love you.” And normally, you’d be the first one to correct him. Jungkook was made for so much more, a fact he’s proven time and time again with his abilities and the sheer size of his heart. He was your golden boy, could do anything he set his mind to. Always amazing you, always making you fall in love all over again. 
But now, with the weight of his words sitting heavy in the air, you find yourself incapable of negating the fact, instead sniffling at the meaning. 
Pleased with your silence, Jungkook places another chaste kiss against your ring. “I love you, __,” he confesses, voice nearly a whisper. Your entire body feels as if it is doused in gasoline, lit aflame over and over again. Your heart threatens your rib cage, pounds away with the strength of a world renowned boxer. Jungkook’s hands curl around your wrists carefully. “I used to think we were like the moon and the sun,” he admits, “that you were my sun and I was your moon. In love but always separated by those thin veils of the sunrise and the sunset.” He pauses, nuzzling sweetly against your palm once more before gently guiding them down between the two of you. “But that really sucks— saying goodbye to you every night? I hate that, __. I hate watching you leave, I hate watching you run off in the mornings or halfway through the day, having to drive back and forth from your place to mine. I hate having to be away from you when all I wanna do is hold you. I— I want to be by your side,” he rambles, eyes nervously meeting yours. They’re still glassy, dark lashes framing his chocolate irises wonderfully. “Forever.” 
Your heartbeat stutters, the simple word looping itself in your mind like that night in his dining room all over again, all the fantasies of having a forever with Jungkook bubbling to the surface. Jungkook pushes on. “You are my sun,” he says softly, mostly to himself. “But… I don’t wanna be the moon anymore. Being the moon means, eventually, I’ll have to say goodbye. In the night or in the morning, it always comes to an end. And I don't want there to be an end with you,” he insists, clutching your hand tightly. “I wanna be another star, the closest one to you. The one who gets to be with you forever. I wanna be by you and shine with you and—“
“Explode into a gazillion little fragments of cosmic dust with me,” you offer, and Jungkook nods along eagerly, too amped up on his speech to bother scolding you for your playful comment. 
“Yes, I want to— to—“ The words catch in his throat. So much emotion from the man you once thought was the dictionary definition of calm and collected. “To—“ 
“Marry me,” you fill in, and Jungkook practically blows a fuse from how emotionally fired up he’s become, exclaiming a resolute, “yes!” that leaves you stupidly grinning back at him. 
His outburst leaves him with flushed cheeks. “I do,” he reiterates in a softer tone, averting his gaze from you as if embarrassed by his cheesy outpouring of emotion. Usually, it’s the other way around; you make all the corny declarations of love and Jungkook laughs along suavely. It feels nice to have the tables turned. 
There’s so much to say, but the words all fade away when Jungkook shyly looks at you again. You settle on tackling him back onto the couch cushions, taking his surprised little yelp in stride as you suffocate him in your embrace. “Save those words for the big day, superstar,” you giggle, peppering his red face with tiny kisses that make him scrunch up cutely. “I can’t wait to blow up into one huge supernova with you.” 
Beneath you, Jungkook groans. “I’m sorry,” he huffs, voice muffled against your shoulder. Begrudgingly, his arms come up to envelope you, pulling you closer until the blanket scrunches up uncomfortably between you two. “That must’ve sounded so lame.” 
Leaning back so you’re not completely squishing him, you carefully push his silvery hair away from his forehead. “Don’t be,” you assure him, placing one chaste peck against his pouty lips. “I thought it was cute. I didn’t know you were into astrology.” 
A sigh. “Astronomy,” he corrects, “astrology has to do with zodiac signs and placements.” 
You run your thumbs over his cheeks, collecting any of the drying tears that paint his face. “Oh, like how you’re a Virgo and I’m a“— 
The TV remote you had lost somewhere along the way is suddenly rematerialized beneath your knee, sends the speakers blaring to life with a deafening screech that has both you and Jungkook leaping up like two frightened cats. “You always do this,” he laughs, that loud boyish sound that makes you feel like you’re sitting on a cloud. He watches you with a gentle smile as you hurriedly shut off the television, the remote haphazardly tossed somewhere behind you afterwards. You return to his embrace, wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into his warmth. His heart thumps a steady rhythm beneath your ear. 
“You’re gonna be stuck with me forever,” you warn him, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like he’ll suddenly disintegrate before your eyes.
Above you, Jungkook hums, placing a kiss against the crown of your head. “I look forward to it,” he responds, pulling you impossibly closer, until you can feel the wrinkles in his shirt imprinting themselves against your cheek. He’s back to being that suave bastard again, and you find yourself wishing you had milked those big crocodile tears out of him for just a little bit longer. 
Fingers gently press against the muscles in your nape, push themselves in deeply until you can feel all the tension seeping out, turning you into a limbless blob over Jungkook. “Jeez,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut. “And you wanted to wait until tomorrow.”
He huffs out a laugh. “I just thought you’d rather get engaged at a fancy restaurant with a pretty dress,” he defends, and you can hear the grin on his face. “For the photos.”
“Fair point,” you concede, eventually pushing yourself up so you’re not entirely squishing your boyfriend beneath you. Jungkook is already looking at you when you lift your head, has got this funny double-chin from this angle that makes his normally sharp jawline disappear. You find yourself tapping a finger against his chin, on the chocolate chip mole that hides itself beneath his plump bottom lip. “If anything, just propose to me again tomorrow at the restaurant.”
It wins you an eye-roll. “I’m not gonna propose to you again tomorrow,” he laughs, doesn’t even push you away when you become annoying and start tapping your fingers against all his beauty marks like you’re playing Whack-a-Mole. 
“Booo,” you frown, but let it go soon enough, foregoing your little game to press your lips against his. “Then I better make this a night to remember,” you murmur, tilting your head to the side.
Your hands dip into his luscious locks, fingernails tracing thin lines along his scalp that are certain to send tingles down his spine. As predicted, Jungkook releases a quiet groan soon after, a sound that’s muffled against your own lips. He’s pliant tonight, but not in a way that would elude fatigue. Pliant in a way that suggests he wants you to take the reins tonight, exhaling softly against you as he parts his lips. 
“Let me take care of you,” you hum, the hand that had been mindlessly hovering along his cheek drifting down to caress the side of his neck. Jungkook nods, his irises swimming in lust. You smile at his silent compliance, give his throat a light squeeze that makes his breathing hitch in surprise. 
He’s always at his prettiest when he’s beneath you like this, limbs moving in slow motion as you guide him along. You can already feel the beginnings of his arousal stirring beneath the front of his sweats, his cock slowly making its presence known against your thigh. You press your lips against his once more, making sure to make it rougher than the first kiss. Your tongue is met with little resistance, slips past his lips and dips into the hot cave of his mouth where Jungkook releases another trembling breath. 
Two hands come up behind you, trail themselves over your back and down to your ass, where he gives the two globes a tight squeeze. It draws a whimper out of you, one that Jungkook greedily swallows up. His tongue rubs up along yours, the wet muscle daringly pushing back against yours. His rebelliousness is only quelled with another press of your fingertips around his throat.
“Slow down,” you tell him. The first roll of your hips against him is slow, cruel in that you cut the motion short just as Jungkook begins to push back. A bratty huff escapes him, swollen pink lips pushing out into that endearing pout you love so much. It makes you grin, releasing the grip around his throat to carefully brush a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. 
It’s a gesture that works to soften Jungkook as well, the petulant look on his face melting away as you trail your pointer finger along his cheekbone. It’s replaced with a more tender one, dark lashes blinking up at you slowly. “Open,” you command upon reaching his mouth, finger pressing down against his pink lower lip. Jungkook obeys, opening his mouth until you can see his pink tongue and the dark abyss that leads down his throat. Your finger pushes itself in, and Jungkook certainly doesn’t try to resist. His lips suction around the digit fairly quickly, tight enough to keep you there but loose enough for you to slowly draw your finger in and out, each short plunge pressing down against his tongue. 
It’s a rather short affair, one that comes to an end when he accidentally bucks up against you, pressing his hardened member against your core. You retract your finger.  “Can you,” he tries, but his cheeks are stained red and he refuses to meet your gaze. “Just…” 
You intercept him with a chaste peck, maneuvering your legs until your knees are firmly pressed into the couch cushions beneath him, his thin waist trapped in between. When you sit up, you feel drunk on power and the way Jungkook looks up at you certainly doesn’t help. “Can I sit on your face?” 
He chokes. “I— sure, please,” he blurts out. His gaze follows you as you slip off of him, quickly discarding your pants and top on the floor. One pat against his thigh has him hurrying to shimmy out of his clothes, his sweatpants caught around his ankles. 
“You’re excited,” you laugh, stripping him of his bottoms when the frustration takes him over. 
Jungkook scoffs. “Well, yeah,” he mumbles, tugging his shirt off with one smooth motion. The ink around his bicep is as dark as ever, contrasts wonderfully against his warm face. “My fiancée is gonna sit on my face.”
The title makes you preen, quickly finding your place on his lap once more. With your clothing out of the way, Jungkook really does become a furnace. Every inch of his body is hot to the touch, soft too. “Fiancée,” you giggle, hands on his chest. They slide down, fingers playfully nudging his brown nipples. Jungkook flinches at the touch. “Gonna sit on my fiancé’s face,” you parrot back, delicately pinching one nipple between your fingers. A moan spills from his lips, his cock pushing against your thigh once more.
It’s the reminder you need, pushing back dutifully against him as you continue to toy with his chest. He’d look pretty with piercings, you find yourself thinking, watching on in fascination at the way his pert nipples stand at attention. Beneath you, Jungkook begins to grow desperate, his hands finding their place on your waist to encourage you to grind down against him once more. 
Jungkook swears up and down that he’s not particularly sensitive about having his nipples touched. But when you’ve got him like this, sinfully laid out before you, you can easily confirm that his claims are nothing but lies. He loves having his nipples touched, squirms beneath you impatiently with each playful tug and twist you bestow upon them. 
You duck down, pressing a kiss against his pectoral, just beside his nipple, and Jungkook’s entire body shivers. A few careful drags of your tongue against his warm skin only serve to string him along further, the prettiest whimper pulling itself from his lips when you finally envelope one of them in your mouth. “Wait,” he gasps, clawing at your clothing as if he both wants to push you off and push you closer. You grin, brandishing one mean nip at the sensitive nub. 
Eventually, your incessant need to play with Jungkook’s chest is fulfilled. “Lay back,” you instruct, watching as he shuffles down flat on the cushions, silver hair tumbling away from his eyes. He’s so red, eyes hazy. Your panties are discarded, joining the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor. 
Once upon a time, the idea of sitting on Jungkook’s face had terrified you, filled you with nightmares of crushing his windpipe or breaking his nose. For the most part, they’re pretty unrealistic fears, ones that can be easily shut down after one careful Google search on safe sexual practices. These days, it’s all too easy; in the mornings, especially, it’s become natural for him to guide you on top carefully, holding your hand as you whimper and sob over his face. 
In the current moment, you find yourself stroking a hand down the side of his face, completely enamored with the huge puppy eyes he levels your way. Jungkook likes having your pussy in his face just as much as you do, loves making you feel good in any way he knows how. But there’s a separate matter at hand, one that stands at attention beneath his black boxers and successfully wins your attention. 
Truthfully, there is no dilemma to ponder over; you want both to ride Jungkook’s face and suck him off. The solution?
“We’ve never done this before,” Jungkook mumbles in amazement, his voice slightly muffled from his position beneath you and slightly behind you. Still, his arms dutifully wrap around your thighs, guiding you closer to his mouth where his hot breath fans against your glistening folds. You rock back willingly, hands preoccupied with pushing his boxers down and away from his engorged cock. 
“Really?” you ask, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the cock before you and the tongue that gently laps at your folds. Jungkook makes a sound, something between a hum and whimper, his mouth slowly getting to work against your folds. “M- Maybe,” you stutter, all thought processes coming to a halt as you carefully take him in your hand. 
His cock is hard and long, his tip an angry shade that weeps with precum. From this angle, you get to watch Jungkook’s huge thighs twitch at the sensation, the tattoo that marks up one of them doing little to hide the fact. Your hand squeezes him, watches in awe as another fat droplet oozes out of his tip. A moan tears itself from his throat, and it’s so goddamn sexy it nearly drives you insane. 
It’s one particularly long lap of his tongue over your clit that sends you into action, back arching at the tingles that shoot down your spine. Wasting no more time, you guide Jungkook’s cock into your mouth, let your own tongue shower his mushroom tip in kitten licks that have him bucking upwards. He releases your clit with a lewd pop, hot breath fanning across your lips. “Fuck,” he gasps, voice harsh. 
Admittedly, it’s more difficult than you thought it would be. 
You’re not one to be easily overwhelmed (says you), but with Jungkook’s twitching cock in your mouth and his teasing tongue dipping into your entrance, it becomes hard to juggle your attention between the two. Even Jungkook, who is quite frankly the master of cunnilingus, seems torn between the two, his breathing shallow and quick against your folds. 
With each slow descent around his cock, he shudders, thigh muscles tightening in anticipation. It causes a lull in the pace of his tongue, the generous kisses and licks against your folds subject to a somewhat uneven pace that, surprisingly, leaves you more on edge than you’d ever expected it to; right when you think he’s about to suck your clit into his mouth, you’re met with a harsh exhale instead, one that makes your lips flutter. 
You’re both disappointed in yourselves for never having tried this mind-blowing position before, and equal parts understanding as to why you haven’t tried this position before— it’s a lot. His cock is halfway down your throat when it twitches, sends a gush of precum into your mouth that has your eyes rolling backwards, a whine slipping out around him. Jungkook appreciates the vibrations, letting it fuel him as he plunges his tongue into your hole. It’s a two way street, you realize, one that is constantly experiencing traffic. 
“Baby,” you gasp, pulling off of his cock with a slick sound, hypnotized by the trail of saliva that connects your lips to his tip. Jungkook’s tongue prods along your slit, makes your eyesight go blurry when the tip of his nose brushes along you as well. The idea of his cute nose buried deep someplace it shouldn’t be has you grinding down on him. “We can— we should stop,” you stutter, your trembling hand reaching forward to grasp the base of his cock. 
He’s slick with your saliva and his precum, and your hand makes a squelching sound upon contact. It must feel good, because Jungkook moans against your folds, his thighs unconsciously falling farther apart as you slowly jerk him off. You think you might’ve heard your name slip from his lips, but your mind is fuzzy, lost in your lust as Jungkook licks a sinful line from your hole to your clit, curling his tongue at the end. “J- Jungkook,” you cry, flinching away because it’s become too much, your toes curling as the beginnings of an orgasm threaten you. 
Before that can happen, he relents, leaning back with a heavy exhale, his hands loosening their grip against your ass and plopping back down against the cushions. “Fuck,” he pants, his cock twitching in your hold. A lonely droplet of precum trails down the side, your knuckles coated in the glossy substance. Beneath you, Jungkook rubs one soothing palm against your hip. 
You slink off before he can get any funny ideas, maneuver yourself around until you’re kneeling between his parted thighs, his fat cock standing at attention between the two of you. From here, he looks ravenous, and you begin to question who exactly is taking care of who. Jungkook looks like he’s a second away from pinning you down and swallowing you whole, a thought that makes your toes curl. 
It’s with a cautiously horny hand that you reach for his cock again, holding him with both hands. Jungkook growls, head lolling backwards until all you can see is his neck and his chin, thick veins protruding along his skin. Jungkook doesn’t waste a moment longer. “C’mere,” he purrs, hauling you up until you’re clumsily leaning over him, palms framing his face. A lone finger runs down your spine, its faint touch making you arch forward. “Sorry,” he says, securing an arm around your waist. “I know you wanted to take care of me, but…”
You roll your eyes, submitting yourself to his clutches as he masterfully rolls the two of you over. The couch is soft beneath your back, and Jungkook looks pretty from above too. “You just can’t sit still, can you?” you murmur playfully. 
Jungkook’s forearms find their place beneath your thighs, the fold of the back of your knee perfectly slotted against his warm skin as he shuffles closer. “Maybe another time,” he laughs along sheepishly, his hard cock gliding over your slit, teasing your clit. You gulp, eyes scanning over his lean build as if it’s the first time. “Sorry,” he repeats, but he’s got this stupidly dopey grin on his face as he glances down at your pussy; he’s insane, he’s got to be, what man makes heart eyes at a pussy?
Your man, apparently. Grasping the base of his cock, Jungkook takes care to drag it along your folds collecting your wetness along his length, a deep shudder wracking his body through it all. “I knew you would do this to me,” he mutters, so low you nearly miss it under the thundering sound of your heartbeat.
“Huh,” you mumble, and you’d like to defend yourself and say you weren’t as cock-crazy as Jungkook was coochie-crazy, but that would be a lie. You’re staring at his cock as if it holds the secrets to the universe right now.
Jungkook juts his head to the side, a motion similar to the one he does when he’s trying to crack his neck. His tongue prods along his cheek, eyes laser-focused on the point where your two bodies meet. “From the moment you walked into my house,” he grunts mindlessly, finally lining himself up with your entrance. He chances a glance up, meets your gaze with a patient look, “all good?”
“All good,” you hurriedly reply, fingers finding their place against his broad shoulders. With the way he had prepared you earlier, mouthed along your clit and your folds until you were pleasantly aroused, the glide now is too easy. Tight, but easy, has the two of you releasing twin moans that echo off the wooden walls of the cabin. 
Jungkook’s forehead is covered in a thin veil of sweat, one that glistens when the evening sunset pours in through the balcony doors, highlighting him in a golden light that makes you dizzy. The angry tip of his cock sinks into your walls, Jungkook’s ashy strands sticking to his forehead and his cheeks. For some reason, you find yourself reminiscing on the aforementioned moment Jungkook had spoken of. Of the soft sweater he’d worn that day and the dinner he had made, the blond tips on his chestnut hair and the way he’d clung onto every word you’d said. 
It makes you tear up, and, after laughing at Jungkook early for crying, you quickly turn your face away. 
Jungkook isn’t dumb. “What now,” he chuckles, though his breathing is labored, every inch of his cock that penetrates you further bringing with it another rush of adrenaline. At the hilt, you’re embarrassed to say there’s multiple tears streaming down your face, so you can’t even play it off as you usually do. “Crybaby,” Jungkook teases, but his voice is so soft and tender you don’t know what to do with yourself. 
“Just move,” you bite out, shamefully covering your face with your hands. Jungkook leans over you, the movement pushing his dick deeper inside of you, your walls clenching around him. A kiss is placed over your knuckles, just shy of your engagement ring. Your chest lurches with a silent sob. “Jungkook,” you whimper, sinking further into the cushion, “please, just—“
“I got it,” he assures you, placing one final peck against your handmade (literally) shield. And then, so quietly you almost miss it, he makes sure to whisper, “love you,” before unsheathing himself. 
You shudder, your heart feeling so full, you fear it’ll burst. You both love and hate when he treats you like this, like an ice sculpture in the scorching heat that has him doing everything he can to keep you solid. His touch is soft, the roll of his hips too slow for your liking. You feel so small and vulnerable— too pampered. “Harder,” you beg, your voice an airy whine that has Jungkook chuckling above you. 
He lives to please you, hiking your leg over his shoulder with a renewed vigor. His hands find themselves on your waist, forcefully pinning you down against the couch cushions as he sets upon fulfilling your latest request. The next series of thrusts are jerky, have you jostling in his grip as Jungkook pounds into you with an all new mindset. “Lemme see you,” he huffs, thumbs painfully digging into your skin. You tremble in his arms, heart swayed by the quiet plea in his voice. “Let me see your face, pretty girl.”
Reluctantly, you do, brandishing your tear-stricken face his way. Jungkook smiles, that stupidly handsome smile, his hips snapping into you roughly. “Fuck,” he moans, the expression never leaving his face, even when run your nails over his chest harshly. “You’re so pretty.”
You ignore him for the sake of your already weakened mental state, focusing instead on the brutal force of his hips, the way his cock stretches your walls out. Each push has you seeing stars, thighs quivering from the sensations that shoot up your spine and down your toes. “Oh,” you mewl, hands gripping his biceps as you lose yourself to him. Your eyes roll back, vision a mess of colors and nothingness all at once. 
“Is this hard enough?” Jungkook husks out, and he sounds so close. His proximity is confirmed when his mouth slots against yours, his harsh breath mingling with your own as he continues to frantically buck into your inviting heat, each new round of thrusts leaving you weaker and weaker than before. “God,” Jungkook cries, the sound nearly lost beneath your own moans and whimpers. “Gonna k- keep you forever,” he spits, tongue slipping into your mouth.
He’s messier than usual, moves with unrefined movements unlike his normal self. You don’t care, you love him all the same. His sloppy kisses turn into desperate ones, matching the pace of his hips. “Kook,” you sob, arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him close until his thrusts are reduced to a shallower depth. 
“I’ve got you,” he croons, lips against your jawline. His cock presses in and you swear you feel it alongside every inch of your walls, a warmth blossoming in your stomach. He’s layering messy kisses down your face now, lips sucking dark marks any chance he gets. 
True to his word, Jungkook indeed has you. His cock pistons in and out at an astonishing pace, each surge into your folds making you dizzy over and over again. It’s a feeling you fear you’ll never grow tired of, in fact, it’s a feeling you fear you’ll begin to crave even more in the future. The good thing is, that future will extend into forever. 
You yank him towards you, swallow his low laughter with your lips. Jungkook doesn’t complain, lowering himself until he’s practically squishing you beneath his beefy body, cock ramming in and out despite all that. His tongue glides along yours, makes it his mission to muffle each of your cries. 
It doesn’t take long for you to be fulfilled. Given the fact you had sucked him off like a lollipop whilst having him eat you out, you’re not entirely surprised. That and the emotions of tonight have you melting into him sooner than you’d like, his name falling from your lips as your thighs clamp down around his waist. Jungkook takes it in stride, slows the maddening pace of his hips to cradle you in his arms. You’re like jelly, practically flop back into the cushion when he slips an arm beneath you. “You’re so good for me,” Jungkook praises, lavishing your throat in tiny pecks as his orgasm circles around. “My pretty girl.”
“Love you,” you sigh, and your body feels numb, his intrusion but a small touch now that he’s tired you out once more, your walls tender and raw. Jungkook presses a smile against your throat and, moments later, releases inside of you. 
Even minutes after the deed, the feeling refuses to return to your legs. He didn’t go that hard— well, you’re not entirely sure. The memories always become blurry toward the end of your escapades. Everything rushes back in waves, and for some reason, your first thought is, “where’s Sailor Moon?”
Your post-rump conversations have never been the most coherent, usually filled with pretty weird thoughts and ideas. Still, more grand things have happened tonight for you to be worried about a magical anime girl. Jungkook draws himself out of your core with a huff of laughter. “On the TV,” he answers, unfazed by the oddity of your question. 
That’s how you know he’s a keeper.
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It takes a while, but eventually Jungkook responds. “Avocado toast,” he says, though his answer is dripping with uncertainty. He’s naked as the day he was born, snuggled up beside you in bed. He’s propped up on one arm, looking down at you over the ample swell of his manly bosom. It takes everything in you to keep your hands off his chest. 
“Correct,” you respond, “and what movie did we watch?”
Without missing a beat, “Transformers, the first one.”
You nod, glancing at the ceiling as you rack your brain for any other trivia questions to ask your fiancé. “The title of the playlist you made?”
A flush paints his cheeks. “Date Night playlist,” he answers through a pout, reprimanding you for bringing up such a memory with a flick to your forehead. You wince. “I was young and silly,” he defends.
You beam, cuddling into his side until he’s forced to lay back down. “Yeah, yeah,” you tease. “We’re only gonna get older from here,” you lament. You’d say it’s difficult to picture him with a gray head of hair, but his current silvery locks don’t leave much room for your imagination.
Jungkook pulls you close. A beat of silence passes, and then, “so who are we telling first?”
Definitely Namjoon.
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xokiddo · 3 years
Note
“Keep the jacket, looks better on you.”
For … oh my god such shock …
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LEVIIIIIIIII.
I’m a simple bitch with simple tastes. 💜 I also need more of your Levi badly 😘
COMING IN CLUTCH WITH THE LEVI REQUEST
I expect nothing less from you, Apollo (⸝⸝ ♡∀♡)
(find a prompt at this post + a character, and send it to me for me to write!)
--
Dating Levi is complicated.
Well, sort of.
You went from friends to friends with benefits to causally dating to just dating, all in the span of a few months, but you spend the night at his apartment all the time that you slowly begin to think of this as your second home.
Honestly, it’s overwhelming, but Levi won’t address it, so neither will you.
You’re off of work, but he goes into the office, leaving you alone in his place.
The day passes by in a blur of errands - mainly grocery shopping and swinging back by your place for more clothes - and cleaning the apartment. By the time you’re done, you’re itching for your boyfriend to get home, so you opt for the best thing to pass time.
You grab the book from your bag, a bookmark sticking out about a third of the way through. After a moment’s pause, you snag Levi’s plain black jacket from his closet; it’s well-worn but carefully taken care of, though given how casual it is, he doesn’t get to wear it to work with his suits.
The sleeves are a little long on you, given it’s a men’s fit, but you love how it fits you well and smells like Levi.
Book in hand, you curl up in the armchair by the window - his armchair, where you often find him awake in the early hours in the morning. You lift your feet to tuck them underneath you, and pull his jacket tighter around you before you open your book. You immerse yourself back into the story within a few pages, the evening sun draping you in a warm glow.
Levi eventually comes home as the room grows dim, calling out “I’m home” from the entryway. You vaguely register his words, otherwise too engrossed in your story.
There’s light footsteps as he approaches the bedroom, and then a beat of silence; you glance up at him from your seat to see that he’s in the doorway.
“I’m almost done with my page,” you tell him sheepishly.
He quirks an eyebrow at you, but doesn’t complain yet, shrugging off his suit jacket while you finish reading. You look up in time to watch him roll up the shirtsleeves of his white dress shirt, and your ears feel hot at the sight. His forearms flex for a second and you know it’s deliberate because he noticed your eyes on him.
“Done?” He asks, despite the fact that your book is already shut in your lap.
You refrain from sticking out your tongue at him in a childish gesture, and instead you huff out a small breath. “Yes.”
Levi moves toward you before you can stand, caging you in with an arm on either side of the chair. Your heart races as he looms over you, slate eyes meeting yours. He leans down to kiss you, moving his lips slowly, taking his time to pry your lips apart. You hum in approval; he’s missed you, if his silent demand for attention is anything to go off of, and you don’t mind.
Quite the opposite, actually.
You welcome the way he knows exactly what to do to make you buzz with nervous energy, drawn to him inexplicably with a mere kiss and lingering gaze.
“You ignore me when I get home for some book and you steal my jacket?” He mutters against your cheek, working his way to your ear. You're dizzy when his breath tickles that spot under your ear, barely able to piece together a proper response.
“I - I can - “
Whatever fumbled apology you have is smothered out by another needy kiss. Apparently, Levi isn’t that bothered, and he confirms your suspicions as he speaks softly.
“Keep the jacket. Looks better on you.” He pulls away, giving you a once-over that makes your stomach flip. “Come out to the kitchen. I’m assuming you haven’t eaten, being cooped up in here all day. I’ll make us some dinner.”
Unable to deny him, you brighten up and follow eagerly, wrapped in the warmth of his jacket and still high from his kiss.
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swinterr · 3 years
Text
fic rec vii ♡
hi!
this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.
read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡
made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.
a for angst
f for fluff
s for smut
// for series or list
kpop oc/s
1. jane by @baejiyeonz
2. bee by @purpleyellow
3. lian by @nct-lian
4. taehui by @jeontaehui
nct
sungchan
1. [10:47 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam.
haechan
1. [5:21] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam.
2. you’re warm by @dreamystuffers | f
- a drunk hyuck can only mean a clingy hyuck.
3. you’re short too by @pastelsicheng | f
- 5 times hyuck teases u for ur height.
4. no title by @heychan | s 
- dirty thought cockwarming haechan and johnny comes in to the room while you are trying to hide it but haechan doesn’t care.
5. wishes by @lucaswithnoshirt | a f
- standing on stage is everything you’ve dreamed of. except in the time it’s taken you to get there, you’ve been dreaming about other things, too.
jaehyun
1. moving in: the series by @jaehyun-ified | f
- after agreeing to move-in with jaehyun, you decided to curate a little series on your channel to both give in to your viewer’s request to have jaehyun frequently on your contents and to document your moving in process with the love of you life.
2. [8:14 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam. 
3. boyfriend by @simpsiren | a 
- a relationship with jaehyun wasn’t always perfect. there wasn’t a definite label on it, which only sent the relationship down a complicated pathway as we tried to find the meaning of our love once again.
4. best part by @okayoongii | f
- don’t know how to describe this tho, just read it. also 10/10
5. can i help you? by @sugarjaee | f s
- when working an extra long shift at work, your boyfriend surprises you with a visit.
6. stages of love by @biletdoux | a f s
- a playlist for the trials and tribulations of a beating heart. 
7. [9:04 am] by @jeongvision | // f
- domestic fluffy blurb. 10/10!!
8. suds by @kim-taehung | s
- first person to move does the dishes for a week. nothing is off-limits.
9. promise by @bvbyxuxi | f a
- jaehyun has loved you since you were both kids, things were going well until he messed everything up; meeting again as young adults, he refuses to let you go again but would you give him another chance?
mark
1. one minus on plus one by @wonjaekook | f a 
- in all of the years you’ve known jungwoo, you should have figured out to not take his words at face value because, though you haven’t even met, mark lee seems to hate your guts. 
2. [12:03] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam.
3. pretty boy by @epinebleue | f a
- fluff, the tiniest bit of angst, the reader is two years older than mark, jaehyun makes an appearance as the reader’s fuck buddy, use of alcohol and drugs (marijuana), mentions of violence (mark punches someone), smut (protected sex, inexperienced!mark, dry humping).
4. camera flash by @morkleemelon | f
- mark taking a picture but forgot to remove flash waking up oc, pretty fluffy and cute! 10/10!!!
5. retrouvailles by @kireimarkeu | f
- counting down the days until you finally see your long-distance boyfriend.
jungwoo
1. [1:14 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam.
johnny
1. man-icure by @haejunehui | f
- based on jcc ep. 26
taeyong
1. reverb by @lovingonrepeat | s
- taeyong + studio sex. 
2. unspoken by @bvbyxuxi | f s 
- you had never thought to see taeyong again after your one night stand with him until this year where he takes you by surprise; turns out he wasn’t the guy you sought him out to be after all.
ten
1. [2:32 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam.
lucas
1. [4:31 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam.
2. king of hearts by @raibebe | f s a
- a little bit of everything, a chef’s kiss. 
yuta
1. [5:51 pm ] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f
- based on the nct relay cam.
doyoung 
1. redamancy by @heavenlyhaechan | f
- this is just so fluffy! i wished to be doyong gf please. 
2. fools together by @yongiefilms | f
- two fools in love with each other? 
3. acedia by @jaeminscoffee | f
- a day in the life of yours and doyoung's love life.
4. our little secret by @haejunehui | f
- read to know their little secret. hehe.
5. caught red handed by @hannie-dul-set | f
- all you wanted to do was take a picture of the handsome law student during your train ride home. you did not expect things to end up like this.
jeno
1. i see red by @0097linersb | s
- pure filth 🥵10/10 tho.
2. addiction by @love-mi | s f
- you and jeno keep your relationship a secret to avoid backlash from your companies and fans; but keeping himself away only makes him want you more.
3. surprise visit by @nakamotonudes | f s
- you hadn’t seen your boyfriend for over a month because of his hectic schedule so when he suddenly shows up at your place one night for a surprise visit, you both have to make every second worth it.
bts
jungkook
1. the pitter-patter of the heart by @koorara | f s a //
- pieces of newlywed domestic moments with jungkook, your husband. the young film and literature lecturer and his wife, you, who works as a journalist of a web magazine. both of you managing the career, the time for each other and the new house. not to forget, chip, the cat that has been with you for years. 
2. please love me by @ahundredtimesover | // f s a 
- as the only unmarried jeon and kim children, your families propose a union to symbolize your unbreakable bond that spans generations. but despite developing an affection for jungkook growing up, he never returned it; he never seemed to like you, actually. you’re okay with the proposal, but surprise surprise, he isn’t.
3. first love, last love by @floralseokjin | f s //
- a collection of drabbles following the longterm relationship between jungkook and you... 
4. second chances by @parkhabits | a s
- work. one of the most important things to him. It kept him company at night, it was all he thought about, all he put his attention to. his work had become the mistress within your marriage. years after you left him you’re back with only one goal in mind. get him to sign the damn divorce papers. yet you should’ve known that your husband wouldn’t let you go that easily. 
5. crush by @jungxk | f s 
- jungkook woke up with amnesia (?) he totally forgets that he has a wife and child. and he totally has a huge crush on his wife. 
6. bare necessities by @gguksgalaxy | f s a
- when you ask your boyfriend for a relaxing vacation you don’t exactly expect him to take you to disneyland out of all places. luckily, jungkook knows just how to get you to relax — being needy is definitely not the way. or is it…
7. krampus for christmas by @ddaenysus | f
- when your daughter overhears your nightly activities close to christmas, jungkook takes it upon himself to convince her it was the sounds of the legendary demon goat.
8. a date with destiny by @imjustfanfictrash | f s
- you are a boss lady in the tech industry traveling to world for work. he is a chart-topping artist touring the globe to perform in front of millions of fans. In the cosmos of life, you are not likely to cross paths. luckily, fate has a different plan for you two.
9. stranded by @gguksgalaxy | f s a
- jungkook’s offer to help you study for your exam is unwelcome. his entire presence is unwelcome. you don’t want help from the guy who passes all his classes without even trying. it’s annoying — he is annoying. from the way he grins whenever he catches you staring at him, to the way his eyes shine whenever he smiles at you. oh, and let’s not forget the way his tattoos shift when he stretches or the way his jawline sharpens when he’s focused. nope, you definitely can’t stand him.
10. sprout by @v-hope | f
- after a nice evening out with your friends, you find yourself coming home to your sleeping toddler and the new hairstyle she had tried on your husband.
11. friday nights and take-out by @ahundredtimesover | // f s a
- you meet pop star/idol jeon jungkook at the café, you get close, and as hyejin says, you’re like friends with benefits without the sex. but you’re bad at feelings and so is he.
12. jealousy by @ephemeralkookie | f s a
- jungkook’s closest friend, namjoon is getting married and he invited you three to his wedding. the only unexpected thing was jisoo, his ex, and we’ll just say that you were not too happy to see her flirting with your boyfriend right under your nose
13. a quarter past us by @jjiimin | f a
- when you break up with him out of fear of losing your freedom in university, he finds himself showing you why leaving him isn’t the answer. 
14. pretty boy by @angelguk | // f s a
- alternatively known as the jock!jk universe drabbles in vague chronological order. 
15. summer solstice by @boulevardk | s
- down on your luck and desperate for a successful harvest, you pray to the gods. you figure no one in heaven was listening to your prayers when nothing happens immediately. but one fateful night, your prayers are answered. are you willing to pay the price? the sacrifice might not be what you were expecting….
16. lilac wisteria by @blushoseoks | f a 
- over the years, things change - but the one constant is your love for lilac wisterias.…okay, maybe jungkook’s been there too.or, alternatively:the first time jeon jungkook says that he is going to marry you, you are five years old sitting underneath a large wisteria tree.
17. obsessed with your ass by @kooklovesu | f s 
- jungkook has an obsession with your body he cant get enough of praising you. he wasn’t comfy showing the world his affection towards you in public because he’s a private guy, but when he finally did, good luck.
18. from home by @gyukult | // f s a
- jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?
19. black card by @minsprings | // f s
- black card fic and drabbles, also a chef’s kiss.
20. oh my god, they were (quarantined) roommates by @ot7always | f s
- what do you do when you’re quarantined for months on end with jeon jungkook - s tier cuddler, workout robot, and thirst trap extraordinaire? fuck him, you guess.
21. let the games begin by @venusiangguk | s
- just another fic where oc rides jk in his gaming chair pls still read it tho lmao its hot i promise
22. the probability of us by @jiminrings | f s
- jungkook’s the son of the university’s president, y/n’s cardigan is everyone’s favorite, and adjacent walls mean shared victories. 
23. open when by @iluv-hobi | f
- jungkook likes to write letters to you, especially ones with purposes, like “open when ___”. one day, on a particularly bad day, you open, “open when you’ve had a shitty day”. 
24. good day by @ilikemesometaetaes | f s
- his motive was made quite clear once he called you out of work. he just wanted to spend a nice day with his girlfriend. is that too much to ask for?
25. calculated by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // s 
- some people would call you far too serious. some would call you stuck-up. and some would call you a bitch. but to freshman jeon jungkook, you’re the head calculus I TA noona  – and he’s determined to fuck you.
26. brat taming by @sugasbabiie | s a f
- jungkook has been your roommate for almost a year. since the day he moved in he has acted like nothing but a spoiled little brat who is used to getting anything and anyone he wants. he eats your food, he doesn’t clean, he’s loud, oh and now he has colored his hair the exact shade of blonde as you. He’ll do anything to get under your skin. you’ve had enough of his filthy mouth and his fuckboy ways. it’s time to tame that bratty little roommate of yours. think you can handle it?
27. sugarplum energy by @bymoonchild | f s a
- you know no bounds nor depth with jungkook. while your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on soundcloud. all’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while. or, jungkook has one braincell, but it’s heart-shaped.
28. ancient history by @moononthejoon | a s f
- there is no way to deny that you and jungkook have chemistry. the two of you used to be a couple, after all. what happens when after a not-so-amicable breakup the two of you are cast as opposite leads of a movie?
29. that’s not daddy by @nochuobsessed | f
- jungkook comes home with a new hair color and his sons can’t tell if he’s appa or not. pretty cute! 10/10
30. no title by @himbojk | s
- jk got a blowie from his oc while on a zoom class meeting, like cam on with a whole set up but his oc under the table sucking the life out of him while he sits and tries to take notes .
31. dilf jk by @himbojk | // s f
- dilf jk drabbles.
32. no title by @himbojk | s
- blond jk with full tattoo sleeve who looks like the baddest boy but is actually baby and just wants a handie in the library while studying with his oc because she aspires to have those high grades. 
33. no title by @noteguk | s
- bf!jungkook going down on the reader while they watch anime.
34. silent treatment by @blu-joons | f
- baby kook asking daddy kook to say sorry to mommy. 10/10 too!
35. getting railed by @dearlytea | s
- getting dicked by your boyfriend during a train ride.
36. the view by @koyamuses | s
- jungkook knows exactly what turns you on; every kink, every dirty fantasy that’s buried deep within your mind. he knows exactly how to make you beg for it.
37. let’s play: dirty by @jungkxook | f s
- on today’s stream, watch as the king of gaming jeon jungkook gets totally pwned by some newbie player on overwatch (he swears he was stream sniped)! to make matters worse, he can’t seem to focus anymore when you’re in the room but he promises that’s not because he’s in love with you or anything. use code ‘jungkook’ on any game purchase through steam at checkout for 25% off so that jungkook has something to feel better about! iloveyou btw!
38. more dilf!jk by @cutechim | s
- oc thirsting over jk, talk about finances, jungwoo is an innocent cock-block as infants are, disrespect towards a major film franchise. 
39. you are inherently beautiful by @ggukachuwu | f a
- when y/n and jungkook accidentally reveal their relationship to the public because she walked in on him doing a vlive and now netizens and kmedia are tearing apart her appearance because y/n is chubby from struggling with pcos. jungkook takes it upon himself to cheer her up because he absolutely adores her.
40. morning with jk by @min-arya | f
- jungkook drabble of him catching his s/o admiring him in the morning with soft sleepy cuddles.
41. even a forest fire dies out by @9uk | a s
- it became from “grab a coffee with me?” to “why should I grab a coffee with you?” too fast for your liking. you had thought the both of you were so in love with each other—only to realise it was only you who had fallen into this trap of feelings. and as for jungkook, he might have just been as confused as you are.
42. all that we had by @starlightauroras-writes | a s
- four years, two months and five days ago, you lost the love of your life with no explanation. living with a failed marriage at such a young age without knowing why was impossibly hard, and when you’re invited to your high school reunion, knowing he would be there, you really don’t want to go. what happens when you do leaves you questioning fate. 
43. aquarium by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // a
- life after jeon jungkook was grey. you had to find your own color, grow your own rainbow. but what would surprise you the most is the appearance of white cosmos, seven of them clutched tightly in kim taehyung’s hand.
44. contentment by @btsqualityy | f s 
- oc’s using jk’s card to buy rug and the rest is history. 10/10!!
45. heartbreaker with a heart of gold by  @filmflowersbangtan | a s
- love this!!! you know i love me some angst! 10/10!!!!!
46. the ikea test by @mercurygguk | f
- you and jeongguk face the IKEA test. successfully? sure!
47. before you universe by @ephemeralkookie | // a f s
- jungkook has taken a huge place in your life after he tattooed you, and you can’t even picture how life was before him. he has always been there for you since day one. but how will things change after you find out you’re pregnant?  
48. christmas cream(pie) by @smoochkooks | s f
-  a day before christmas dinner with your boyfriend’s parents, you discover another alternative way to use the chocolate cream you’re making. jungkook is more than willing to indulge in your little fantasy.
49. last minute by @moononthejoon | f s
- christmas day had gone by, and now you were back home after holidays with your family. your friends had agreed to have a late christmas party, but as always, you and jungkook procrastinated gift buying.
50. you go in knowing bros together by @blu-joons | f
- a cute fluffy knowing at knowing bros moment. 
51. no title by @v-hope | f
- the way y/n would react when someone else flirts with jk and how he’d handle the situation.
52. hair dye by @mercurygguk | f s
- jungkook got his hair dyed while at work. you lose your mind the moment he steps through the door.
53. stay gold by @yeojaa | s
- blond!jk being a good boy?
54. crystal snow by @honeyj00ns | f
- when you join Jungkook and the rest of the guys for some fun in the snow, he can’t help but feel jealous.
55. 6:21 am by @sincerelyourfangirl | f
- in which he makes your morning extra special.
56. plan b by @btsracket | s
- dressing room quickie, unprotected sex request, use of Plan b pill
57. possession by @bngtanah | s
- jungkook is your boyfriend, sometimes you have to remind him what that means.
58. puffs and touches by @mintseesaw | f s
- “Stop doing that with your face, someone else is going to snatch you up”
59. the quiet things by @btsracket | s
- sleeping bag sex.
60. good boy by @ephemeralkookie | s
- secret, read to find out AHAHAHHA.
61. make it right by @jungkxook | a s
- you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too
62. it takes two by @junghelioseok | s
- struggling with the idea of your ex-boyfriend moving on, you enlist the help of your quiet roommate in a scheme that quickly spirals out of control.
jimin
1. picking petals by @cutechim | s 
- you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get. 
taehyung
1. daddy by @btsracket | f s 
- there’s only one choice when this happens on a date out.
2. love me or we both go down by @gukyi | f s a
- after going through with an arranged marriage to please his parents and secure his inheritance of the family business, kim taehyung thinks he’s got it all figured out. he doesn’t. apparently just being married to you isn’t enough, not when everybody and their mother can pick up on the fact that the two of you absolutely loathe each other. but taehyung wants his inheritance one way or another, so he decides that desperate times call for desperate measures: the two of you need to fall in love, and you need to fall in love fast.
3. saudade by @jiminssthetic | a s f
- a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it’s time to find out why.
4. ineffable by @99liners | f
- boyfriend taehyung takes care of his sick s/o.
5. tease by @caiuscassiuss | s
- you knew you were hot. you saw how the guys looked at you, how their eyes were drawn to a tight t-shirt or short skirt. and maybe this would fail epically—crash and burn like a failed experiment—but you wanted to get under kim taehyung’s skin the only way you knew how.
6. aquarium by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // a
- life after jeon jungkook was grey. you had to find your own color, grow your own rainbow. but what would surprise you the most is the appearance of white cosmos, seven of them clutched tightly in kim taehyung’s hand.
got7
yugyeom
1. yugyeom as you boyfriend by @sunshinekookie | f
- i need more yugyeom fics in my life.
astro
eunwoo
1. rainy say saviour by @imsarahbum | f a
- upon seeing you getting bullied after school for being short, dongmin can’t help but step in and defend you - despite both of you not really knowing anything about each other.
anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!
please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.
if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!
support the fic and the writers!
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lunarnatalya · 3 years
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💕Rising Sign Observations💕
Observations about the rising signs from the eyes of a Scorpio Rising watching you all from the corner with x-ray vision O_o... jk xD
🔥ARIES risings tend to embody this energy of being both slightly distant, slightly somewhere else, yet simultaneously very on edge and physically responsive to their surroundings. They can be very caring but their attention span isn’t very long so their sympathies can be kinda blunt in nature. They are not afraid of being in opposition with anyone (Aries/Mars being the God of War) so when they disagree with something you said or did, you will FEEL it especially if you’re a Water sign... they won’t make the effort to hide their facial expression, or posture or anything of that nature. Sun is exalted in Aries (in Vedic astrology), so everything shines through.
🌱TAURUS risings are very generous and giving, and it tends to be because they don’t want to get wrapped out in the complicated nature of 8th house stuff. They’d rather give to everyone and show their cards than find themselves feeling in debt to others, or like people are angry with them or anything. Of course out of the kindness of their Venusian hearts as well, but also just for peace.
🕊️GEMINI (I’m using a Dove because they are messengers just like Gemini) risings are super playful and easy to get along with, they make you feel comfortable and at home in conversation like you’ve known each other for years. The thing is, then you’ll see them talk the same way to someone else and some people, especially water signs will see this as a betrayal when they don’t mean to hurt anyone, they are just natural social 🦋s and want to extend the same kindness and communication to everyone. I’d imagine that the Geminis in question would be Rohini Nakshatra in Vedic astrology, which is described by astrologers as ‘babylike’ and wanting to experience bliss all the time much like babies do.
🦀CANCER risings, I’ve noticed are super sweet and kind, but because of their extreme sensitivity and vulnerability tend to be very taken aback if you do anything to make them feel out of their comfort zone or like their safety has been threatened. As soon as you do that, they’ll forgive you, but they will deem you as someone who they should be wary around- and of course they’ll bottle up their emotions about it. They forgive, but they also collect all of the things that have happened and emotionally hold onto them.
👑LEO risings I’ve noticed are very in their regal energy and confidence all the time not really taking things too seriously and more focused on just living an awesome life, but when personal things or things related to family or the heart come up even slightly, they get VERY fierce and something in them just seems to rise from within them. I’d guess it’s because the majority of the time, a Leo rising will have fierce, loving, protective and loyal Scorpio in the 4th house of home, family, and the heart space.
.🌿VIRGO risings have such a distinct energy! There’s something about them that you can’t miss- could relate to how in Vedic, most of the Virgo risings will be Leos. They have such a quiet authority and power and can be very dainty in their mannerisms and everything. They suppress their voice a lot and don’t speak up so that they don’t ‘make any mess’ socially or emotionally, and can be really hard on themselves in that way.
🌸LIBRA risings I’ve noticed, can be very cynical but very motivated to move forward nonetheless especially because they’d never want to let anybody else down. I think this also relates to how in Vedic, the Libras are mostly Virgos. They can be very picky about aesthetics especially! Libra risings are also often very quiet, but I think this one depends. The misalignment with Libra & Scorpio is a big reason why I stick with Vedic often too- Libras in western often don’t embody balance so much as the embody the pickiness of Virgo, and Scorpios in Western are often very artistic, relationship oriented, and scared to ‘tip the scales’ more like Libra... then Sagittarians are often very deep and tend to have troubled pasts and demons more like Scorpio. It’s not that Western placements are untrue, but my theory is that Western is showing us the physical world since it is showing us the sky as it is from Earth, but Vedic is showing us the non-physical. Sorry Libra, you got the rant xD
🔮SCORPIO risings- like maself- are very very almost dangerously deep thinkers. The thing is, having a Scorpio Sun or Moon can make you very deep thinking too, but the thing about Scorpio rising is that this mode of deep thinking is initiated in their IMMEDIATE, environment, because that’s what the rising sign is about. They don’t have to get emotional to do this, and don’t have this inner fire to pursue deep thinking like Scorpio Sun would, they just do immediately and instinctively and it can be very crazy making for us. We can zone out at the grocery store thinking about something super dark or something dark that happened from the past and really get trapped in our own bubble there. A lot of the Scorpio risings who relate to that are probably Swati in Vedic astrology- Swati struggles with this because Swati is the ultimate middle Nakshatra, so it is always attuned to the hidden world and ‘space inbetween’. 
💕SAGITTARIUS risings (heart emoji because I think Sagittarius risings need love, especially if you’re Jyeshta in Vedic) tend to be very secretive. They will do the ‘normal stuff’ like go to school/work, do normal every day stuff but they’ll often not fully divulge what’s going on emotionally (which is why to me it makes sense that Sagittarius becomes Scorpio in most cases in Vedic). I’ve noticed Sagittarius risings often don’t show up to social events either for mysterious reasons- they won’t really explain why or it’ll seem mysterious in nature but they won’t show up, and people tend to miss them/worry about them because of it.
✨CAPRICORN risings... okay hear me out, I have observed that they are quite adventurous, but in a very refined way. They aren’t all over the place trying to travel and try new things and be cray like the stereotype of Sagittarius, but they are wanting to try new things in a very sophisticated and planned out way. They are often super creative but their creativity always has purpose- like making a bookmark to use for the book they’re reading, or doing an artwork with the clear intention of giving it to someone, or putting it in a certain place on the wall they want to fill. Always with earthy, rich purpose.
🌟AQUARIUS risings, I’ve noticed are really good at knowing how to get a rise out of people and also knowing EXACTLY how people are going to react to what they’ll say or do. They are comfortable saying controversial things and speaking up about their opinions partially for this reason- if they already have the social and emotional awareness to know how people will react to their behaviour, they don’t have to be afraid of anything that comes their way as far as backlash goes because they already anticipated it! Smart cookies O_o
💫PISCES risings - aww man, I love you guys  💕 I’ve noticed a lot of Pisces risings tend to feel like outcasts in this world. They can feel very isolated and alienated and the infamous ‘charming awkwardness’ Pisces can have definitely comes from this feeling of being the ‘local weirdo’ lol. Pisces risings are amazing at bringing ideas to life as well, if they have an idea, they can explain it to you to a degree that they can make you feel like you BOTH had that idea and both have an emotional connection to it. Definitely relating to how Pisces will often become Aquarius in Vedic.
So that’s the end of my post on my observations about the Rising signs 💕 Subscribe to my YT Channel for videos on Astrology :) 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRlHfp9V-Re62OmTwh5SROg
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beauvibaby · 3 years
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all I could ever want – t.seguin
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a/n: part 2 of there won’t be anyone else!! I definitely prefer the first part of this story, but I also love this one because it’s just straight fluff 😌
Word count: 2.9k
“Mommy!” Willow squealed in delight, running into the kitchen to see you, Tyler had picked her up from preschool on his way home from practice. “Willow!” You mimicked, laughing as she hugged your legs, “did you have a good day?” You asked with a grin, Tyler chuckled, “Miss Laura is having a baby.” Tyler spoke for her. Willow nodded excitedly, “aw, that’s great.” You smiled, hoisting Willow up to sit on the counter. “I want you to have a baby, mommy.” She spoke honestly, giving her dad a weird look when he choked on his water, you snickered at him. “Maybe.” You shrugged her comment off, thankful for her short attention span, she was asking to go play with the dogs as she wiggled her way into your arms to be put down on the ground. “Go ahead.” Tyler nodded her off and she went barreling towards the living room where the dogs were innocently napping, poor boys.
“What was that reaction for?” You asked once it was just the two of you, he mumbled something under his breath, “talk like an adult, Tyler.” You teased him, resting a hand on your hip as you gave him a stern look. “I just didn’t think she was going to want a sibling, she loves having all the attention.” He sighed, “plus my baby is too little to want another baby in the house.” He pouted dramatically. Ah, the real reasoning coming out. “Yeah, but you always said you wanted more kids, and you know I would be happy with a full house, so.” You trailed off, kind of disappointed by his lackluster reaction. “You still want to have more kids right?” You asked when he didn’t speak, finally locking your eyes on his. “Yes, of course.” He rushed, “after the wedding?” He offered, seeing your smile turn up, “really?” You gasped like a child. You wrapped your arms around his neck, “I don’t want you to think I don’t want more babies with you.” He smirked, kissing your pouted lips, “I was just so caught off guard.” He admitted honestly, his normal attitude coming back through.
You had to cut him some slack, thinking of how hard it was for him when Willow’s mom was pregnant, she didn’t want him involved in anything he wasn’t able to be apart of it up until the last second, it was like a switch flipped and suddenly she decided she wasn’t fit to raise a baby. As selfish as it sounds, you were so grateful for how it turned out, because at the end of the day you knew she was getting the best life possible with you and Tyler.
“Me too, honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t asked how the baby gets in a woman’s stomach.” You quipped, Tyler groaned, “I can’t even think about that.” He muttered in defeat, kissing the side of your head. When he pulled away, you had a giddy smile on your face, “what?” He asked you suspiciously. “I can’t wait to have a baby with you.” You admitted, watching his nerves melt away. You knew Tyler, and you knew he was a worrier, even if he didn’t voice it, right now he was probably running over every horror story he’s heard about complicated pregnancies. “God you’re gonna look so beautiful.” He muttered, a glint in his eyes, you knew then, that it was all going to be ok, even if he was a nervous wreck. Which part of you thought he would be.
***
You stood by the window of your bridal suite, dressed in your gown and veil, one of the photographers getting photos of you looking out, coincidentally, in the open garden below you, Tyler was doing his first look with Willow, something the photographer had brought up to you, and you jumped on it. Those pictures would be cherished forever, Tyler really didn’t know what Willow was going to be dressed in, but you watched as he turned around and saw his little girl, who didn’t look so little, in a dusty rose colored dress, long lace sleeves and a nice puffy skirt, per her request. Her curls tamed beautifully for once as she actually let the hair stylist apply some products to them. Your grin was wide as he gasped, looking at her and she bounced over to him, you could see her mouth moving and you could only imagine how she was rambling on and on about her dress. A habit he swears she picked up from you.
“Y/N? You ready to head down?” Your maid of honor, your best friend Y/F/N asked, giving you a once over. You smoothed out your dress once more, looking down at the trumpet style gown. “Yeah.” You sniffled, fanning at your face. You and Tyler opted not to do a first look, you wanted to see his genuine reaction as you walked down the aisle. “You look stunning.” She assured you, lightly dabbing under your eyes with a tissue, the sound of the camera going off in the background.
As you reached your spot just behind the double doors, any nerves you had melted away, Tyler, the love of your life, was right on the other side of this wall, prepared to say I do to a lifetime with you.
Tyler’s father was walking you down the aisle, neither of your parents here to do it. As he approached, you smiled, hoping Tyler’s reaction would be similar to his dad’s. You’d grown close with his family over the years, they truly loved you, and it showed as his dad grabbed your hand, kissing the top of it as he smiled tearfully. “I’ll never really know how Tyler managed to snag you up, but he could have never made a better choice.” He explained, voice shaking before he cleared his throat. “Let’s get this show on the road.” He broke the silence, chuckling at himself as you looped your arm with his, holding your bouquet with the other.
The wedding March began to play, and the doors were pushed open, revealing you and Paul standing there. Instantly Tyler looked to the ceiling, his eyes watering already, the smile on his face was undeniable as you walked towards him slowly, your own eyes glazed over at the way he was looking at you. “Gorgeous.” He mouthed, your lips parting in a smile, he loved when he got those smiles out of you, the ones where the corners of your eyes would crinkle, and sometimes you would even scrunch your nose a bit. This was definitely one of those moments.
***
The wedding had come and gone, your honeymoon too, a simple trip with just the two of you before the hockey season started again. “Daddy.” Willow whispered, standing on his side of the bed, he stirred, blinking his eyes a couple of times to adjust to the darkness of the room. He turned his lamp on, “what’s wrong baby?” He asked softly, careful not to wake you as he caressed Willow’s face, frowning at the tears coating it. “I had a bad dream.” She whimpered, “come here.” He huffed as he pulled her up onto the bed. “Wanna tell me what happened?” He asked her, turning the lamp off as he let her cuddle with him. “No, just cuddles.” She mumbled sleepily, his heart swelled in his chest at that, “always, princess.” He sighed, kissing the top of her head as she easily laid on top of him, her teddy bear snuggled between them. You flipped over carefully, having woken up during their little conversation. Tyler gave you a tired smile as you placed a kiss on his shoulder before resting back on your pillow, a smile on your face as you listened to her light breathing.
As morning came you groaned in annoyance, morning sickness coming right along with it.
That’s right, you two had no trouble getting pregnant apparently, today was actually the day you were going to tell Willow about the baby. “Is mommy sick?” Willow asked Tyler as they woke up to you bolting out of bed, he held back a chuckle, “no, she’s ok.” He assured her, “stay here.” He demanded gently before coming to check on you as you brushed your teeth. “Hi babe.” He placed a kiss on your cheek, “doing ok?” He asked softly, locking eyes with you in the mirror. “Yeah,” you sighed, leaning into his hold after you rinsed your mouth out. “Are you ready to tell her?” You asked eagerly, “god, yes.” He groaned, giving you a quick kiss.
Willow was sitting in the middle of the bed, adjusting the bow on her teddy bear's head. “Good morning, baby.” You chuckled, sitting beside her, she shot you a smile, just like Tyler’s as she crawled into your lap. “Don’t forget miss bows.” She mumbled with a pout, Tyler snickered as you took the bear and placed a kiss on its head, “good morning, miss bows.” You spoke dramatically, Willow snuggling happily into you. “Hey, Willow.” Tyler spoke softly, sitting beside you, “guess what?” He smiled at her, she sat up a little straighter, “what?” She asked cutely, you shared a look with Tyler. “We’re gonna have a baby.” You told her, relief hitting you as she jumped up screaming in excitement. “A baby?!” She squealed. You quickly pulled out your phone to record her, sending it to Tyler’s parents. “When?” She asked giggling, sitting crossed legged in front of you both. “Oh, it’s still going to be a few months honey.” You explained sweetly, “but you’re going to be a big sister, that means you can help me and mommy get stuff ready for the baby.” Tyler assured her, wanting her to feel involved and not like the baby was going to completely take over.
The months started flying by, you were having a little boy, Tyler thought he wanted another daughter, which of course he would have been just as excited for, but when he heard it was a boy, you could see the way his eyes lit up. Willow had been a little upset at first, wanting a little sister that she could do all her fun girly things with as she got older, but after some long conversations and some explanations, you convinced her of all the reasons it would be fun for her to have a brother.
Tyler was more than nervous as your water broke in the middle of the night, of course you’d thought ahead and had spoken to Tyler’s mom, who had been staying with you guys for about a week, to be here and help with Willow once you had the baby. He swears that your labor went on forever, but really, you’d gotten lucky and progressed quickly. Nearly missing the window to get the epidural, which terrified you, but you got it, and now you had a very healthy, chunky little eight pound baby boy. Much to everyone’s surprise, everyone expected him to be smaller, but you weren’t complaining.
“Oh my god.” You cried out as they put him on your chest, his screams filling the room, it felt like an eternity until he began to cry, but he was sure to make up for it.
“I can’t believe we made him.” Tyler mumbled, unlike Willow, Hunter was born with next to no hair. “I know.” You whispered, running your finger across his chubby cheek, he was peacefully sleeping in your arms, already a hungry baby, having drunk himself right to sleep. “I hope he looks like you.” Tyler muttered, lightly kissing the side of your head, a smile graced your lips, “I hope he looks like you.” You giggled, “but I kind of don’t, because then all the girls will be after him when he’s a teenager.” You added, your husband chuckling beside you. “Let’s worry about his first night home, yeah?” He laughed softly. “Willow is going to be so excited.” You sighed, lacing your fingers with Tyler’s.
***
“Mommy, daddy!” Willow rushed over when you walked in, Tyler having the car seat around his arm. “Hi, sweet girl.” You welcomed her hug, kneeling to her height. “Were you good for grandma?” You asked gently, she nodded eagerly before moving over to hug Tyler once he placed the car seat down. “Hi princess.” He grinned, hugging her tightly, “I missed you.” He kissed the top of her head, laughing as she completely disregarded his comment and looked at Hunter in awe. “He’s so pretty.” She gasped, making you and Jackie both laugh. “He really is a beautiful baby, honey.” Jackie spoke to you, giving you a gentle hug. Tyler moved the car seat up to the table, shushing Willow as he assured her she would get to hold him. “Go wash your hands.” Jackie instructed her, walking over to Tyler as he easily held the newborn in his hands. She kissed her son's cheek before grabbing Hunter’s hand, “hello beautiful boy.” She cooed, running her thumb over his arm. “You did good.” She commented to Tyler, lightly nudging his side, he shot her a smile, “yeah.” He agreed, glancing at you.
“Can I hold him, please, please?” Willow begged, running out with freshly washed hands, you nodded, “go sit on the couch, I’ll bring him to you.” You instructed her softly, she giggled and ran off to the couch, you gently took Hunter from Tyler, “oh, Jackie did you want to hold him fi–“ “No, no, let Willow do it first, she’s just so excited.” Jackie cut you off mid ramble. You smiled in relief, slowly walking over to the couch, Tyler came and sat next to her, he put a pillow on her lap, and had her put arms out on it. “You have to be really gentle, ok?” He told her as he put his arms around her, his hands offering extra support for the baby’s neck. You laid Hunter down, smiling as Willow cooed down to him, “hi baby brother.” She giggled, looking over at you and then to Tyler. “Mommy,” she mumbled as you sat next to them, Tyler picking the baby up as he began to fuss, “I love him.” Willow concluded in the most serious voice. “I love him too.”
***
Hunter gurgled up at you as you dressed him in sweatpants, now two months old, and all of you were missing Tyler as he just had his first away game of the season. You left him shirtless, a pun at how Tyler always walked around the house in his pajamas, “mommy, I wanna match.” Willow pouted, you looked at her in thought for a moment, knowing you couldn’t let her run around in only pants, even if it was only in the house. “Oh, I have an idea.” You grinned, scooping the baby up and going into the back of the closet, where most of Tyler’s old shirts were. “Come here baby!” You called, Willow came bouncing in, one of your fondest memories as a child was wearing your dad's old shirts as pajamas, so why not pass it on to her. “Pick one to wear.” You told her, smiling as she got all excited, flipping through them, she pulled two down off the hangers, “where this one mommy, please.” She gave you her puppy eyes, not that she had to. You nodded, taking the shirt from her and going into the bathroom to change into it, leaving your shorts in underneath.
A loud laugh fell from your lips as you walked out and saw her drowning in his shirt, but there was nothing more adorable. “Come here, let me get a picture.” You made Willow lay on the bed, and put Hunter next to her, you wanted to send the picture to him, but you’d rather him be surprised by your outfit choices for the night. “Hello!” Tyler called from downstairs, Willow giggled carefully moving away from Hunter, “careful, hold the shirt up so you don’t fall!” You called as she took off out of the room, her response faded out as she bounced down the steps, you following with Hunter curled up in your arms. “Hey baby!” You heard Tyler gasp, “what do you think you’re wearing?” He questioned her, lifting her up into his arms. “We missed you so much, we figured why not dress up as you.” You explained, making him look up and see you in one of his shirts and Hunter in little grey sweatpants, Tyler threw his head back in laughter, “are you surprised?” Willow asked him, arms clasped around his neck, he hummed in agreement as he kissed her cheek before coming over to you. “Hi.” He whispered before pecking your lips.
“Hi.” You repeated, smiling as he pulled away, Willow wiggled her way down to the ground, allowing him to take Hunter from you. “Hey bud, looking good.” He mumbled kissing across his chubby cheeks. “And mama, as beautiful as ever.” He winked over at you. He smirked when you rolled your eyes with a smile, “movie night!” He declared, bolting up the stairs with Hunter to go change. You chuckled as you ordered pizza, deciding to make it a fun simple night. You knew that it wouldn’t always be like this, but you knew that whatever life through at you, you two could make it work.
“You know, I’ve got all I could ever want right here.” Tyler mumbled as you sat curled up on the couch with two sleeping kids on your laps. “Me too, Ty.”
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Being Human - Chapter 24 (END)
<= Chapter 23
Summary : Snatcher meets familiar people again Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/75085263
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(TW injury)
New chapter today, and it's actually the 24th and the 25th combined. It's 15 pages long, now.
I could only draw a picture for them both, so I supposed it was useless to keep you waiting for nothing. So, yeah, here's the ending of "Being Human". I hope you'll like it !
The “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings​​ !
Uh if you’re interested, I post my progress on my chapters on Hatty Fan Time (the AHIT Discord server I’m moderating with two friends), so if you wanna join, go ahead !
Happy reading !
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Chapter 24 : “ Is… Is it over? ”
Snatcher was doing his best to walk down the hallways as quietly as he could. His ankle, while not broken anymore, was still giving him quite a lot of pain, so much that he was wincing at each new step. But he knew this was just temporary and that he needed to ignore the suffering for now: Vanessa was busy, sure, but for how long? She had said she would be baking cookies for him, and he knew very well that this wouldn’t last forever. This was his first and last chance of escaping: if she spotted him trying to leave, the child had no doubt she would lock him up again, perhaps in the cellar once more…- The young Prince shook his head and gulped down with difficulty. This definitely wasn’t something he wanted to think about.
Snatcher could feel and hear the floor creaking under his feet, forcing him to stop several times and listen closely. But thankfully, there was no sound indicating the Queen had heard him. Thank God. The child stopped in front of the door leading to the first floor- oh, he was not reassured, not in the slightest, he had the feeling this would not go well… As he was going to open the door, however, a light sound caught his attention, making him look at the window. A look of confusion crossed the young man’s features: there was nothing there, so what could have made such a nois- but then, his eyes spotted something: a little rock had been thrown onto the glass, making a small sound because of the impact. Detaching himself from the door, Snatcher made a few silent steps to the window… And his face lightened up with shock and surprise as he noticed a form floating above the window- no, two forms, actually.
Moonjumper and the hatted brat !
A feeling of hope grew inside of him, just as a wave of relief washed over him: they were alive! He had saved them! He really had managed to help them!
The child stepped closer to the window and reached for it, trying to open it- but in vain. The frame was deeply frozen, preventing anyone to open it, especially not a kid like him. He quickly stopped, as his attempts at opening it were quite… Noisy. It was getting really dangerous, and if he kept on trying, he was eventually going to alert Vanessa, which was definitely not what he wanted.
Moonjumper and the kid floated closer, a clear look of worry and confusion on their faces. The hatted girl gestured to the lock on the window, but Snatcher replied by shaking his head. It wasn’t locked, just… Frozen. He gave a concerned shrug, indicating he didn’t really know how to help them enter the manor. And, of course, they couldn’t really communicate vocally through the glass, as it was sure to be noticed by his ex. So that wasn’t a solution- until one hit him, making his eyes widen.
The attic.
Driven by a new motivation, the child pointed up, trying to make them understand his idea. The hatted brat seemed rather confused and frowned in reaction, trying to look up without understanding. However, the corpse seemed to get it and explained it to her- or so Snatcher believed. He couldn’t really hear them, so all he could do was to guess. In any case, his counterpart nodded to him, as a way to show him they had understood what he had meant to them. Not long after that, they started to float higher, indeed reaching the attic.
There was his escape plan !
Fueled by a new motivation, especially now that he knew his friends were alive, the former ghost turned away from the window, a new objective in mind. Still doing his best to remain discreet, Snatcher walked the other way, making his way to the attic rather than to the first floor. He was particularly on edge, especially when it came to his own footsteps on the floor, and to the creaking of the parquet floor under his weight. When he reached the door leading upstairs, he kept praying for it to be unlocked, oh, he prayed so much- and when the doorknob actually let itself be lowered, thus opening the door… A huge feeling of relief hit the young Prince one more time.
Oh, thank God…
Looking behind him, just to make sure the Queen hadn’t come upstairs to see if he was still in the nursery… He eventually climbed up the stairs, not forgetting to close the door slowly in his back. This was it, there was no turning back now.
Snatcher soon reached the attic door and opened it, his vision greeted by the sight of an old, forgotten room. But the former ghost didn’t lose any time in looking around- there was no time for that. All he needed to do now, was to find a way to let the other two-
Speaking of the devil, Snatcher spotted their floating silhouette right  in front of the central window. However, it was safe to assume than opening any of the window here would be complicated. After all, none of them had locks to begin with, so even if they weren’t as frozen, they couldn’t be opened either way.
That… He hadn’t thought of that, exactly. All he had thought about was to get farther away from Vanessa, which worked in that case. But he still couldn’t leave like this… As for Moonjumper and the hatted brat, the two were inspecting each window, trying to find one that could be opened easily, in vain. Snatcher stepped closer to the central window, the gears in his mind turning to find a solution. This was… Not going the way he wanted to, he had to admit that much. His eyes met the others’, and they both came to the same conclusion.
Leaving the manor this way wouldn’t-
Snatcher’s thoughts were instantly interrupted as a tremor shook him and the room, making him stumble to the wooden floor. He cried in pain as it only hurt his already injured ankle, but before he was even able to realize what was going on, a loud, piercing scream echoed in the whole manor. Immediately, the young Prince’s expression fell, only to be replaced with panic.
Vanessa.
As on cue, the former ghost heard her muffling yelling in the floor below- oh God, she had heard him!
-“Where are you?!” shouted the Queen, her tone clearly showing how livid she was, and the sound of her voice making the house shake even more. Oh no, no, no, no, no! Behind the window, Moonjumper and the brat’s face paled up just like his did, and it was obvious they had heard her too. Oh, crap, no, he needed to be out of here!
Not thinking anymore, the child ran to the window, pounding on it as hard he could, feeling dread spreading inside of him as he could hear Vanessa’s furious steps coming closer and closer.
-“Get me out of here!” he yelled through the glass, to his friends on the other side, fear more and more audible in his voice than ever: “Help me!” Tears started to fill his eyes, and he couldn’t tell if it was because he was in a child’s body or if it was because he was genuinely terrified.
Behind the glass, Moonjumper seemed to be just as scared as him, and was scratching at the glass, even pounding on it all while still holding the hatted kid. The latter seemed to be more than nervous, looking for a solution too, until… Her face lit up, as if she just had had an epiphany. The young Prince saw her shouting something at the corpse, pointing at the window at the same time. What was she suggesting? But as he was asking himself that question, Snatcher saw the two of them floating away from the window- no, no, no! They weren’t leaving him here, weren’t they ?! They couldn’t do that, they couldn’t abandon him!
-“Come back!!” he yelled, and now tears were rolling down his cheeks, sobs cutting his breathing short: “Don’t leave me here!” He pounded on the glass harder, despair filling him whole. No, this couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be happening!
His cries intensified as Vanessa’s steps could be heard just behind the door, and suddenly, he froze. The footsteps had stopped. He looked back at the door in utter terror and saw the door slowly opening, a claw being the first thing he saw coming out of it.
-“I told you…” her tone was low and threatening, and the child span around, horrified. Oh no, no, no- : “… That there would be consequences…” And little by little, the old Queen’s body appeared in the room, her dark aura even more visible than ever, her claws sharper, and her eyes murderous.
Oh no, he was going to die, he was so going to die, he-
-“Snatcher!” The former ghost’s terrified inner-rambling was put to an end as he heard his name being called out behind him, and he glanced back, recognizing the brat’s voice- didn’t they leave, though…? However, his eyes widened as he saw the hat-wearing child being carried by Moonjumper on his shoulders, both at a distance from the window, and what caught his attention was… That she was not wearing her usual hat.
She was wearing another one, one that was familiar because he had seen her wearing in his forest, when she was ransacking the tombs in Subcon For- and before his mind had the time to finish that sentence, a glowing potion materialized in the kid’s hand, and she shook it while urging him to move with the other.
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The young Prince didn’t waste any more time and ran to the side, hiding behind a nearby crate not to feel the explosion, and he covered his ears. But just before he was able to, the Queen’s voice echoed in the room, giving him chills.
-“I saw you!” she yelled at him, as if she hadn’t noticed the two outside- but it was most likely the case, as her mind seemed to be only focused on him, and only him… Which was not reassuring in the slightest, obviously.
-“Come here this instan-” And then, her shout was cut short by an explosion, and Snatcher just curled up more, crying out in fear as the whole floor shook again and as he heard the loud and deafening sound of the detonation. Glass and wood flew everywhere, shattering and breaking at their impact to the floor. Panicked, the former ghost glanced back at the window that had just been exploded- and his eyes widened as he saw his two friends entering the room through the large hole caused by the explosion.
Another wave of relief hit him once more, contrasting greatly with the spike of fear he had felt earlier- Snatcher felt like his heart was riding a very, very intense roller-coaster. As soon as the hatted child spot him, hidden behind the crate, her expression instantly turned into worry, and she dashed to him, soon placing herself in a position to defend him should Vanessa decide to attack them first. She had taken out her umbrella, ready to fight with all of her might, determination visible on her face. As for Moonjumper, the corpse was summoning countless strings, preparing himself for an imminent fight. His face looked nothing like what Snatcher had seen before, it was full of anger, of bravery, of courage… But also full of fear. His hands were trembling, his eyes were fixed on the Queen, while many memories of Snatcher’s past life seemed to be blinding him, forcing him to relive past moments that weren’t even his in the first place.
And yet Moonjumper was still ready to fight despite this.
-“You…” The Queen’s voice was full of hatred as she recognized the duo she had frozen earlier. Her intonation definitely had an impact on them, as they both faltered for a few moments- and he couldn’t blame them for it.
He knew what it was like to be frozen to death.
-“You… You will not hurt anyone else,” Moonjumper trembling voice echoed in the room, and it was now clear that he was scared to no end, though he was still trying to appear brave. Whether it was bluff or not, Snatcher couldn’t tell… But he really hoped it wasn’t.
-“Yeah, back off!” added the brat, lifting her umbrella as a way to show she was not kidding. Then again, the former spirit couldn’t help but wonder if they really had a chance against someone who had already frozen them all at least once.
Vanessa glared at them, her eyes glancing to each other, as if she were trying to determine who, out of the trio, was the biggest threat to her. And, unsurprisingly… Her survival instincts told her to attack Moonjumper first. Screaming in absolute anger, she stomped her feet on the wooden floor, summoning ice all around her and, more precisely, a series of ice stalagmites which she quickly sent to her enemy’s direction.
-“Moonjumper!” yelled Snatcher, extending his hand to the corpse, only to be held back by the hatted brat, preventing him from getting himself hurt. Fortunately, the body-stealing spirit had been expecting her to target him first, and dodged her attack, though one of the stalagmites nearly touched him. Thank God it hadn’t. The corpse was quick to react though and counter-attacked, throwing all of the strings he had prepared to her. Taken aback by his sudden retaliation, the Queen was too slow to move before the strings actually caught her, Moonjumper quickly tightening the grip around them.
But this couldn’t be so simple.
Another scream left Vanessa’s mouth and soon enough, she turned the strings into ice, her magic rapidly going up the corpse’s strings and thus soon reaching him- until the hat-wearing brat intervened, hitting the strings with her umbrella, deflecting the spell to her umbrella instead, which she immediately let go of with a surprised cry.
Now that the trio was distracted with the current turn of event, the Queen broke free of the strings holding her, the ice having made them easy to break. No, this was not good, they had to find a solution… But Moonjumper’s strings were their best bet! Fighting hand-to-hand was not possible, all they could do was fighting her from afar, if they didn’t want to end up frozen to death. His eyes looked around, trying to find an idea, something they would be able to use to gain an advantage against that monster. The crates, no, the chandelier, no, too heavy to make it fall down and too large to be useful… And his eyes fell onto the huge gap in the floor and the wall, caused by the previous explosion. His eyes widened, an idea growing in his mind.
Maybe… Maybe they could be able to use that!
In the meantime, the fight had continued, and the corpse was still trying to immobilize her with his strings- but this wasn’t the right option, this wouldn’t work like this! The woman was always managing to break free. And so, as soon as Vanessa’s attention was at the lowest, the young Prince took this as an opportunity to call out to Moonjumper without putting him too much at risk:
-“The- the hole, lead her to the hole!” he shouted, using both of his hands as a way to make his voice louder. The corpse gave him a quick and confused glance, as if he were trying to understand what Snatcher had in mind- until his eyes widened, realization crossing his features. He had gotten the message.
Not wasting any more time, the corpse changed his tactic and instead of trying to keep her trapped and motionless… He tried to pull her closer to the window, floating back more and more. Of course, the Queen was always managing to get free with her powers, but she was still being slowly led to the huge gap in the floor. The corpse was immensely focused on the fight, doing everything he could to avoid her stalagmites- but his focus and his unbelievable calm was winning over Vanessa’s screaming and aggressive attitude- her attacks were having the same patterns, she was not thinking strategically when trying to hit Moonjumper… On the contrary, Snatcher had to admit she was being predictable, and while she couldn’t be kept trapped in the other’s strings for too long, Snatcher’s strategy was working little by little.
When she reached the gap, her eyes had widened, as if she was only understanding now what the trio had in mind. With another deafening scream, Vanessa created an ice path under her feet, like a bridge above everything, above… Nothing, above the void under her feet. No matter how hard Moonjumper was pulling on her, she was not loosing her balance and she kept on creating ice under her feet, although… Now she was looking to escape much more than actually attacking any of them. Her expression was not just livid anymore- no, there were some worry and fear in it too, now.
They had to take the matter in their own hand, now! Moonjumper had already done much more than Snatcher would have asked of him considering his same fear of her- and now it was his time to help.
Ignoring the pain in his ankle, the child dashed to the frozen umbrella the hatted brat had abandoned on the floor, and picked it up, not caring about the ice partially trapping it- no, this didn’t matter. What he was about to do, however… Mattered much, much more.
-“Snatcher!” he heard the little girl calling him out- but he didn’t stop.
No, this had to stop. Now.
Fueled by a new energy and by adrenaline, the former ghost ran onto the ice platform Vanessa had created… And he charged at his ex-lover, holding the umbrella before him and using him as a spear. He felt his borrowed weapon hit something, and he knew it was her- and almost instantly, a cry of fear and surprise left the Queen’s mouth… And the impact made her lose her balance, her body falling backward as she tried to turn back… But it was too late.
He had done it, he had managed to-
But things never, ever were that easy, were they?
-“Snatcher !!” His friends’ voice echoed behind him, panic clearly audible as the woman made a last movement as an attempt to save herself from her fall- she had grabbed Snatcher’s arm and was now taking him with her, bringing him with her for what was going to be her death… And the young Prince’s.
And now, they were both falling.
Snatcher had thought about dying again, multiple times, actually. Being stuck in his this human body definitely had him wonder a lot of things such as “if I die, would I become a ghost again? Would I just go to wherever souls go when no one eats them?” There had been no way to know, and still wasn’t. The doubt actually prevented him from trying to put an end to his human life and see what happened afterwards. However, now… It wasn’t doubt that was making Snatcher fear death. No…
That was the fear of actually dying, mixed with the fear of losing all the sensations he had become accustomed to, even though it took him so long. Sure, there were plenty of unwanted senses he disliked, but… Was it really worth losing all of it? Even the good ones? Like the feeling of a warm shower, the feeling of lying down on a pile of soft pillows, the feeling of tasting things, even bad things…
Did he really want to just not feel anything at all? It had felt so overwhelming when he had recovered all of his senses, but now, the thought of losing everything was… Just as crushing.
And so… That was why Snatcher was terrified, terrified as his body was falling to his demise, taken with Vanessa. Her claws were gripping at his arm tightly, freezing his clothes and skin, making him cry out in pain. His breath quickened while he felt the cold air outside scratching his cheeks from how fast they were falling.
He didn’t want to die…!
The young Prince started to kick her, trying everything he could to do get away from her- but what was the point if they were both going to die by crashing themselves to the ground?
-“Let me go!” he shouted, his voice hysterical and his expression both panicked and livid: “Let-let go of me!”
-“N-no!” retorted the Queen, and the child could see frozen tears leaving her eyes as well as a despaired expression on her face: “I don’t want to!!”
She tried to hold him tighter in her arms, bringing him for a hug- No, no, no, he didn’t want this, he didn’t want this! The kid kept trying to hit her, his fear growing more and more as they both got closer and closer to the ground- he didn’t want to die! Not like this, not anymore!
Snatcher shut his eyes hard, readying himself for the impact, for the death he had wanted so much and yet didn’t want anymore, for the confirmation of whether he’d come back as a ghost or not, this was not fair, this was not fair…!
The young Prince let out a startled scream when he felt something slipped under his arms, pulling him up and abruptly stopping his fall. Snatcher reopened his eyes instantly- Moonjumper! The corpse had hurled himself towards his small counterpart, barely saving him from his death and quickly trying to float back up again or, at the very least, slow down his dangerous fall.
Vanessa, on the other hand, was not being held by anyone and, thus, her claws severely scratching the child’s arms as she attempted to save herself, but her own weight dragged her down. A loud, painful scream left Snatcher lips as he felt his skin being torn open by her long, sharp claws… But soon enough, his eyes saw her falling down, falling to her death, while Moonjumper was now holding him still in the air, floating. And soon enough… A muffled sound echoed up to them, with the Queen crashed into the snow, creating a flurry of snow around her.
-“Are… Are you okay ?!” the corpse managed to say, panic clearly audible in his tone of voice, his eyes inspecting the young prince, and widening when he noticed the gaping wound on the other’s arm: “O-oh, Goodness, we better… Oh, my God…”
Snatcher only replied by a long hiss, feeling the snowflakes falling onto his injury- oh, that hurt so much…! Tears came back in his eyes, stinging the skin in the corners from how cold it was. Blood was leaking from his arm, falling down near where Vanessa’s body lied down. With a very concerned expression, Moonjumper quickly floated lower and lower, in order to bring them back to the ground. A movement in Snatcher’s vision caught the latter’s attention, and he glanced in that direction, his mind clearly in a state of shock, ready to react to the littlest threat- but what he saw was the hat-wearing brat, watching them from the attic. It was a bit hard to see her clearly because of the distance and the blizzard, but the former ghost was almost sure he saw her putting her hand where her heart was, seemingly sighing in relief.
Yeah… Yeah, he could definitely relate to that…
The young Prince jumped when he finally felt the ground under his feet, letting out a startled cry from how shocked he was. Slowly, ever so slowly, Moonjumper loosened his grip on him, only for Snatcher to fall to his knees, unable to stand up in his state. Around him, the snow was starting to get a reddish hue due to the blood falling and leaking on it, staining it.
-“H-hey…!” The corpse tried to help him get back to his feet, in vain. He had just experienced a near-death experience, how could he stand up again so easily?! His eyes looked around and… Noticed a dark spot in the snow.
Vanessa.
The child stared at her, afraid she’d get up again, ready to attack them again, ready to kill them all- But she wasn’t moving.
-“Is… Is it over?” he breathed out, unable to look away from the old Queen, his fear preventing from doing so.
-“I… I think so, yes,” Moonjumper floated lower, down to his level, his voice calmer and yet his nervousness was still very much there.
A loud noise suddenly caught the duo’s attention, making them lift their head to see what it was- and as much as Snatcher had expected quite a lot of things… Seeing the spaceship flying above their head was not one of these things. That… That was where the bow-wearing kid was! She hadn’t been there in the group’s rescue mission, and it made sense that at least someone had to stay in the ship in case things turned sour.
Not so long after that, the front door of the manor opened abruptly, revealing the hatted brat, soon dashing in their direction.
-“Snatcher!” she called out to him, stopping in front of him and almost slipping from how fast she was running. Her eyes noticed his injury and instant worry appeared on her features: “Oh, peck, are you okay?!”
The child took a moment to pull himself together- this was a lot to take in after all.
-“I… I don’t know,” he gasped, and now that the adrenaline was slowly dying down, the pain was getting much, much stronger. Wincing, Snatcher tried to move his arm, only to whine at the sensation. Yeah, that was not happening… And he was bleeding quite a lot too- oh, no, no, this was not good, was it…?
Another weird, high pitched sound caught their attention, this time behind them. The former ghost turned his head back, not knowing what it was- until he saw a beam of light coming from the spaceship to the ground, a silhouette quickly appearing where the light was touching the snow. The other kid! Even though he knew she had to be safe, considering Vanessa had forgotten about her when she brought the young Prince home, he was… Really happy to see her safe, now. However, something else caught his attention.
She was holding the Time Piece again.
Not wasting any more time, the other joined the trio, reacting the exact same way as the rest of the group did at the sight of Snatcher’s injury. Then again… He had no idea how bad it was, but from the look of everyone else, he could guess that it was… Not good.
-“Is… Is she…?” the bow-wearing child pointed to the Queen’s body, still not moving, except for her shadows, carried away by the wind.
-“I… I’m not sure,” Snatcher confessed, still very much afraid to see her getting up- but she wasn’t.
The group remained silent for a moment, staring at what now seemed to be a corpse- And Snatcher couldn’t help but stand up, his stance unstable and his legs trembling both from the blood loss and from how shaken he still was.
-“W-wait, what are you doing?” called out the hatted brat behind him. Moonjumper also tried to get his attention, his tone much more nervous than the little girl’s. The bow-wearing kid, however, remained silent, paralyzed by the fear of what he was trying to do.
Not listening to the group’s advice to sit back down, not to approach Vanessa, as they didn’t know if she was still alive yet- but he didn’t care. And so, silently if not for the sound of his boots in the snow, the young Prince stopped in front of his ex, looking at her with a deep expression of regret on his face. So this was the end of the story, then? The end of a tale that had lasted for many centuries, of a horrifying nightmare that had caused the death of so many people?
Was that it?
The young Prince jumped a bit when the Queen slowly opened her eyes, afraid she would be ready to fight again- but she didn’t move. Instead… She merely smiled at him, that same smile he had loved for years, that same smile from the person he wanted to marry so many years ago- and before he could realize it, his heart started to ache, his mind filled with bitterness.
-“Oh… Hello,” she greeted him, with a tone that was so familiar, much too familiar- and Snatcher’s face hardened, countless of memories blinding him as they came back to him, almost hitting him like a wave.
This was… Not a good ending for him- a good ending would have been to solve their problems before she caused the freezing, would have been to prevent the deaths of everyone- but this? This was a bittersweet ending.
This wasn’t the ending Snatcher wanted, but in the end… This was the only one he could get.
The light in Vanessa’s eyes became dimmer and dimmer as seconds passed and, soon, the former ghost just knew she had passed away, taking with her the threat she had always represented to Subcon Forest. Now… Now, the forest would be safe again.
-“Sna… Snatcher?” the bow wearing child called out to him again, and when he turned back to her… His cheeks started to sting- he was crying now. Tears, countless of them, were rolling down his cheeks and he couldn’t stop, the emotions flooding his mind, so much that it needed to get out somehow- Sobs started to leave his mouth… Before his legs gave up from the blood loss. Before anyone was able to react, the young Prince fell into the snow, mentally and physically exhausted. The group gathered around him, worry and fear visible on their features. Oh.
Was… Was this going to be it? Was this… The end? His end?
His thoughts were cut short when the bow-wearing kid lifted his hand, putting inside it a cold yet familiar object- the Time Piece.
-“Qu-quick!” she urged him, her face deadly pale: “I… I fixed it while you were fighting her! It’ll save you, but you need to break it and wish to become a ghost again!”
-“Hurry!” the hatted brat insisted, trying to hide her worry behind a mask of determination.
Was… Was it really what he wanted? To come back as a ghost, unable to feel a single thing, good or bad? To remain here for eternity and see the world change without him? To take care of a Forest that no longer needed protection? Was this really what he truly, truly wanted? To live in the past forever?
Snatcher winced at the thought.
He… Wasn’t so sure about becoming a ghost again. He had wanted this so much before, but now… Now, something didn’t feel right about this. Was Vanessa’s death the reason for that? Or had he thought this way for a while, just… Being in denial about all of this?
How could he know? What should he do?
-“Wh-what are you waiting for!” urged Moonjumper, and soon, the kids started to shake him lightly, fearing he would lose consciousness from his injuries, if not worse.
All he wanted… All he wanted was…
Slowly, much too slowly for the taste of the group… The former shade lifted the hand holding the Time Piece, ready to smash it to the ground.
-“I wish to be happy,” he murmured, before finally smashing the hourglass down.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-______________________________-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
-“And then, add a bit of salt- yes, just like that!”
The voice of Cooking Cat could be heard in the kitchen of the spaceship, alongside sounds of something cooking in the background, sizzling on a frying pan. Next to her, a young man was standing up, his right hand holding the tool and the left one putting down a cup of salt. Once done, he grabbed the spatula on the nearby counter and started to move the ingredients around inside of the pan, intensifying all the crackling caused by their cooking.
-“Am… Am I doing fine?” he asked, wincing as he was receiving a few splashes, to the point he was tempted to step back- but he knew better than to do that. Cooking Cat seemed to notice his discomfort and came to her friend’s rescue, covering the frying pan with its lid and then lowering the temperature of the gas stove.
The young man couldn’t help but give an awkward and frustrated smile- well, at least, the food wasn’t burnt -yet-, so there was that!
-“You’re improving day after day,” assured the bipedal cat with a warm expression: “You’ll see, someday you won’t even need me anymore to cook for the girls!” she gave him a friendly tap on the back, though perhaps a bit too strong for the thin man, who stumbled a bit.
-“I doubt that,” he answered, before using an familiar sarcastic tone: “I mean, unless you all want me to burn the ship down, of course. That, I can do!”
The Cat snorted and shook her head, though not out of disapproval.
-“You’re underestimating yourself, you know?” she retorted, a bit amused by his previous words: “It’s only been a few months and you’ve made quite a lot of progress. You might not be the best cook in the world right now, but credit where it’s due, now you can make things that are edible!”
-“Oh man, what an improvement! ‘Poisonous’ to ‘barely digestible’! When do I open a restaurant?” he mocked her, but there wasn’t any real animosity, just friendly teasing… To which he received a light punch on the arm:
-“Oh, hush, you,” she snickered: “You know what I mean!”
The two laughed for a bit, and eventually washed their hands, waiting for the food to finish cooking. They kept doing some small talk as they tidied the kitchen a little bit, cleaning and putting back in cupboards all the tools they had needed to prepare the next meal, which smell was slowly invading the room.
Yeah, he had to admit that at least… Well, the smell was good enough to make him hungry, something that hadn’t been possible a few months back.
The duo’s attention was caught by the door opening, revealing the hatted brat, the bow-wearing kid, and Moonjumper, who had started to wear new clothes, clothes that fitted him and his personality much better.
-“Hey, the food’s not ready yet,” the young man taunted them, giving them a shooing gesture: “Come on, away with you!”
-“Can’t we have at a least a bit?” tried to bargain the bow-wearing girl, putting her hands on her stomach as if she hadn’t eaten anything for the past two weeks- and of course, she was imitated by her older friend: “We’re starving!”
-“Yeah, Snatcher, don’t be such a peck-ne-”
-“Language!” the word came from both Cooking Cat and Moonjumper, who floated closer to Snatcher- although it was clear that from the two of them, the bipedal Cat was the one having the more authority. Perhaps she was kind of like a mother-figure, or at least, that’s what the young man couldn’t help but think of her and what her aura seemed like.
-“Fiiine,” grunted the hatted brat, sighing with exaggeration, before giving the cook the look of a nice and innocent kid in dire need of something: “We’re super hungry though,” she repeated and, as on cue, a gurgling sound echoed in the room, causing everyone to stop talking. Eventually, the bow-wearing child giggled with embarrassment and looked away.
-“Y-yeah, we are,” she confirmed, and Cooking Cat just snorted in response. She moved to one of the cupboards and grabbed three plates and silverware, soon handing them to the little, impatient girls.
-“Listen, let’s set the table, and then we’ll eat, alright?” she told them, and it barely took the kids a couple of seconds to grab all of it and running away with it to the living room.
-“Hey, no running with the knifes!” Snatcher called them out, but all he heard were carefree giggles. Ugh. Kids. And yet, he was smiling.
Cooking Cat snorted again, shaking her head with a warm grin, before glancing at the other two :
-“I better go and help them,” she told Snatcher and Moonjumper: “I mean, not that they’re unable to set the table, but. You know.”
-“Yeah, we don’t want any injury, I got it. I’ll take care of the food in the meantime,” he assured, returning her smile with his own, and leaning against one of the kitchen counters. The Cat thanked him and left the room, leaving the young man and the corpse alone. Snatcher soon got back to work and prepared a few crudités for the first course. Somehow, there was some kind of tension in the room, and that was probably due to the fact that Moonjumper hadn’t followed their friend to help the kids. The silence went on for a few more seconds, and… Yeah, there was definitely something.
-“Anything on your mind?” asked the young man casually, glancing at him briefly while he was cutting the vegetables, doing his best to remain focused on the task at hand- not wanting any injury also applied to him. There were quite a few scars on the former Prince’s fingers, due to him not being careful enough while cutting food. After all, not only had he never cooked for a few centuries as a ghost, but he had never really cooked anything while being alive either… Being part of a royal family had its pros and cons after all.
The corpse seemed to be lost in thought, only to jump slightly at Snatcher’s voice, coming back to reality. Moonjumper looked away, scratching his arm in embarrassment:
-“Am I that obvious?” he asked, an awkward smile on his face.
-“Frankly?” the man raised his eyebrow, before giving the other a smug grin: “You have no idea.”
The two snorted, and it did indeed make the tension go away, if only a little. Snatcher knew something was up, and he waited for his friend to make the first step, not wanting to rush anything. If there was anything being human taught him again, it was being patient. Well… Among a lot of other things, of course. And soon enough… This proved to be the right choice, as Moonjumper spoke once more, giving the former Prince a more serious look:
-“Are you… Are you okay?” was his question, and Snatcher was quite taken aback by it, not really expecting something like this. To be fair, he had thought this would be about Subcon, who was now primarily handled by the corpse, though Snatcher did visit quite a lot. This could have also been about the girls or anything like that, really… But him?
Now that was something he hadn’t seen coming.
The young man’s face showed his surprise and confusion, and he quickly put his attention back on his cutting work. No need to cut a finger because he wasn’t attentive enough… Still:
-“Wh- Yeah, I am?” he replied, puzzled by this sudden question: “Why?”
Moonjumper remained silent for a moment, to the point Snatcher thought this conversation would end here- but the other proved him wrong:
-“It’s just that… You wanted to become a ghost again so much, a few months back,” admitted his counterpart with a wince: “And yet, while you had the opportunity to make this happen, you… Didn’t.”
He paused for a few seconds, as if he were looking for the right words, as if he were walking on eggshells- well, it was a figure of speech, given his lack of legs. In any case…
-“I guess, I just… I just wanted to know if you were fine with it.”
Snatcher stopped his cutting work, his stare lost into space. Yeah, he could see where that was coming from… To be fair, his old self would have probably screamed at him, not understanding why he was still a human despite getting the opportunity to change that, despite getting the chance he had waited for since the moment he woke up in that body.
In that body which reminded him of so many things, some good and some… Bad, very bad. And so, he wasn’t really surprised to see this question coming, especially from Moonjumper, who, well… Shared quite a lot of memories with him, even if they still weren’t the same person. If there was anyone in the world knowing him the best, it was the corpse, no doubt about that.
… Which meant quite a lot, being asked this question by his counterpart.
-“You know… If I had gotten the possibility to turn back into what I used to be when it happened…” started Snatcher, referring to the moment he had been turned into a human, months ago: “… Then I’m pretty sure I’d have taken that opportunity without hesitation.”
-“… So what changed?” retorted the other, though there was no judgment in his tone of voice- just pure curiosity and a lot of concerns.
-“I guess…” the man stopped to think, sighing again, before continuing, his face full of regret: “You know, back there, when I… When I almost died,” he managed to say, his body starting to shake from the emotion and from the memories. Snatcher was… Still trying to ignore them, but despite this, he remained haunted by them, haunted by what had happened, by what could have happened to him and to his friends.
The corpse nodded, silently and gently nudging him into talking once more.
-“I… I realized that I… Didn’t really want to die?” he wondered to himself, having done his best not to think about that whole thing until now, and he shrugged, though it was visible that this was clearly upsetting him: “I just… Understood that if I were to die again, even if I came back as a ghost I would just… Not be able to feel anything at all, you know?”
He glanced back to Moonjumper, and he mindlessly started to rub the counter with his hands, as if he were enjoying the sense of touch for the last time, contemplating what could have been if he had indeed died again that day.
-“That kinda scared me,” he admitted, this time with a frown, because being afraid was still something he didn’t like saying: “And after Vanessa’s death, I guess that I felt… Guilty, but also better? As if, there wasn’t that weight on my shoulder anymore, right? And so… So when Bow gave me the Time Piece, I… Hesitated.”
He couldn’t help but scoff at the idea, now.
-“That’s stupid, right?”
Moonjumper seemed surprised by his words, and he titled his head to the side, confused and a little worried:
-“What do you mean?” asked the other, frowning too.
-“That… That I basically let that hourglass decide.”
-“Oh.”
Realization crossed the corpse’s features and he looked away, maybe feeling foolish for that dumb question. But to Snatcher, it wasn’t one, really. A few minutes passed in pure silence, and Snatcher got back to his cutting work. It took a little while before Moonjumper gathered the courage to speak again, visibly concerned for his friend:
-“And so… Are you happy?” he asked, making a reference to the wish Snatcher had made back then, when he was dying. The memory made the young man wince, and he couldn’t help but clench his fists, doing his best not to let his mind getting overwhelmed at the traumatizing recollection.
But this was a good question. Was he happy? Was he, really? It was quite hard to answer… How could he know? His old lives, as a Prince and as a soul-stealing ghost, were so different than this one that it was barely comparable. However… However, he couldn’t deny how miserable he had felt sometimes, as a spirit guarding Subcon Forest. But now…? While he still had nightmares, and while sensations were still a bit strong… Vanessa wasn’t a threat to Subcon and its inhabitants anymore, he felt free for the first time in centuries, not shackled to a place in order to protect it, no- he was really, truly free. Furthermore…
Snatcher had two people to care about now.
-“You know, it’s not so bad,” he eventually replied, a smile starting to appear on the corner of his lips.
-“What is?”
The young man turned his head to his friend, his smile widening, even though his expression still showed some regrets:
-“Being Human.”
The corpse fell silent, but eventually returned his smile, visibly satisfied with the answer. The duo’s attention were brought back to reality as a smell of something burning started to float in the room-
-“Oh fu- peck!” the former prince cursed as he turned off the gas stove, quickly removing the frying pan and putting it on the kitchen counter. His face fell when he noticed the meal had burnt- again. Next to him, Moonjumper was trying his best not to laugh, leading the young man to glare at him. Instantly, the corpse looked away innocently, whistling- ugh, that guy.
Snatcher looked at the burnt meal with frustration, and he rubbed his eyes- Yeah, he was getting tired of himself quite a lot, when it came to cooking. Nonetheless, he took a deep breath, and picked the frying pan again, while Moonjumper, still giggling, grabbed the plates of crudités. Both left the kitchen, and Snatcher lifted the pan for everyone to see, announcing loudly and comically:
-“Soooo, who wants some burnt food?”
A loud series of boo welcomes him, as well as some “again??”s, making him snicker in reaction… But yeah.
Being Human wasn’t so bad.
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Thank you for following me this far, I hope you liked this story ! My next fanfiction, still on AHIT, is a WIP for now. I hope you'll like it too. See you soon !
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smolbeandrabbles · 3 years
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Grace, Too - Director Orson Krennic x Reader (Rogue One)
🎉🎉 !!Fic Number 200!! 🎉🎉
Hollllly crap we made it. We MADE it. And as he was fic number 100, 200 had to be Krennic. HAD to be.
@wltz-bby​ @mandy23b​ @happyskywhale​ @missunsympathetic​
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Author’s Note:  Good god. Oh... This SONG has a lot to answer for. 
So, I was introduced to these ‘Courtly Love’ ideas, and I thought they sounded like a lot of fun, so I have a few requests based around these based on conversations. This was the first one I attempted and uh, yeah we ended up with this glorious wordcount.
Also, for my dear requestor and also dear friend @sagitariusrising​ Happy (Belated) Birthday! 😘💜💙 I hope this fic is everything you wanted!
Grace, Too - The Tragically Hip
Disclaimer: Premise/Idea not mine - although I did make some executive decision changes that I hope you still like / Rogue One characters not mine / some small Catalyst references.
Prompt: “A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved”
Premise: Orson Krennic has himself an obsession. You remind him too much of someone he once knew. Orson Krennic is dangerous. This much you know, but you are not about to heed your own warnings....
Words: 17,100
Warnings: Swearing / Possessiveness/Obsession/Yearning / Smut - like Sinday/Sunday smut. 
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He said, I'm fabulously rich C'mon, just let's go She kinda bit her lip Geez, I don't know I come from downtown Born ready for you Armed with will and determination And grace, too The secret rules of engagement Are hard to endorse When the appearance of conflict Meets the appearance of force But I can guarantee  There'll be no knock on the door I'm total pro here That's what I'm here for I come from downtown Born ready for you Armed with skill and its frustration And grace, too
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He had to admit Eadu was not his favourite planet in the galaxy. Susceptible to many a storm, Krennic had never known it not to be pouring whenever he arrived. He probably wouldn’t even have thought about travelling over at all, were his old friend Galen Erso not stationed there. True, it was an integral facility to the Death Star, but Krennic didn’t need to be here to survey operations, just receive the odd mail or two with updates. Krennic would much rather be at the heart of the weapon his was engineering; it was his project and his baby. But, he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to see Galen, and this was fairly important. He grimaced as he looked out at the rain again, hopefully this wouldn’t take too long either… *** You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to the constant rainy patterns of weather here. No-one had ever really given you the uniform for it – having said that, how often did you really spend outside these days? A lot of your time was spent in labs pouring over facts and figures and complicated algorithms. You spent almost as much time in the labs as Galen did, which was certainly personal choice rather than because you were forced into long hours. You had two specialities: lasers and gem stones; you’d heard about the development of synthetic Kyber crystals and Galen’s work before, but you’d never beheld a real one until coming here. With the amount of effort you were putting in, you were starting to become a technical expert. (Also a little disappointed to say the least when you found out that synthetic Kyber hadn’t really worked as expected.) Still, when you and Galen weren’t working on your pet energy project – allegedly what this had been for in the first place, until the real reason for Kyber research came to the fore – you were working on the Death Star. Which was some glorified super laser, that needed Kyber to work and… well, precision focus, as any good laser should have. Kyber wasn’t only going to be used as a power source, but also to make sure that this laser had range and trajectory… and didn’t waver off that. Besides, looking at the design, although it would collectively become one laser, it started at multiple points across the span of the dish. If just one of those was wrong, would the laser even fire at all? So standing outside on the landing platform, having been summoned out here because apparently the Director of the whole project would be arriving, in the cold and wet was not your ideal start to the day. Especially as you’d been standing here for what felt like close to an hour. Where the heck was this guy? You’d heard a lot about Orson Krennic before now; not all of it was great, some of it was hearsay, but there was a lot of information you found interesting to say the least. He’d been working on this project (with or without Galen) for most of his adult life, so it didn’t surprise you that he’d be coming all the way out here for an update. You had only ever had the pleasure of being copied on emails to Krennic and the way he responded sometimes was downright scary. You were glad you’d never had to give him bad news… but with your project being what it was, it wouldn’t be long before you did have to face the wrath of his block capitals. Finally the sound of a cruiser cut through the air, by the distinctive sound it was a Delta-class T-3c. Yeah, you had a slight passion for ships too. You all stood to attention on the platform, fighting off the shivers from the wind chill, squinting for visibility through the sheet rain and trying not to get blown over either. When the door to the shuttle opened Galen stepped forward, to welcome your visitor. He was possibly around Galen’s age, and held a confidence and self-importance about him as he strode forward down the ramp. But he had grace, too. You were almost taken aback by the way Krennic smiled as he shook Galen’s hand firmly, conversation fairly urgent. You couldn’t even lip read them from here, but body language was easy to interpret and it didn’t take long for Krennic to have your boss on the back foot. But it wasn’t panic, only surprise. Galen beckoned the Director towards the facility but Krennic shook his head. This visit was clearly only to be brief; you weren’t about to have your first interaction with him after all; he wasn’t about to view your work, inspect it closely and criticize it. Maybe you were glad of that. The conversation wasn’t as fleeting as you thought, a lot of back and forth that had the rest of you shooting each other looks and wondering how much longer you had to stand to attention in the freezing weather. Eventually Galen gestured to all of you – you supposed he was saying ‘if you can’t come in, or stay very long, at least meet my team.’ Krennic seemed to consider this for a time, his eyes sweeping the line and freezing on you. Your breath caught for a moment – maybe it was just your imagination, but his gaze was certainly lingering on you, and those bright blue eyes of his were nothing short of captivating. You didn’t think you’d seen a blue like it anywhere in the galaxy. It felt like hours but it could only have been seconds before he turned back to Galen, they exchanged a few words briefly once more before Galen nodded and they shook hands again. Oh, he really was just going to leave? The Director walked brisky back towards his shuttle before turning and calling back something else that he’d clearly forgotten. Galen yelled something in response and Krennic half smiled, before his eyes flicked over Galen’s shoulder and returned to you. Yes. You were right, he was certainly focused on you. There was a rumble of thunder overhead and the lightning cracked across the sky. You had never minded the lightning; you found the colours and patterns fascinating. But those blue eyes were immediately illumined by the bright white flashes and you found yourself swallowing hard, you couldn’t place the look on his face but you weren’t sure it was so appropriate. That image was sure to haunt you. Krennic turned back, slower this time, and you found that you’d been holding your breath for quite some time.
Suddenly you didn’t think that you would mind receiving an email in block capitals from him at all. *** Galen was probably the least subtle he could possibly be when he was trying to be subtle. He’d been tiptoeing around something with you for a couple of days and it really was starting to annoy you. You slammed your stylus down on the table with a frustrated sigh and turned to him. “Galen, please, whatever it is… just tell me. You’re making me nervous!” He blinked a few times, taken aback by your tone – as if he hadn’t been making it very obvious. “I- I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” You laughed, “Now I certainly will! What’s going on?” “…It’s not my idea, but it is my decision.” “What is?” You suddenly became scared yourself, “Are you firing me-!?” Galen’s eyes widened and he held his hands up, “What? NO, no… quite the opposite. I am…” He paused and thought to rephrase his question, “They need a crystallographer on the Death Star. A good one. Someone who can keep up with the team here. One who knows what she’s talking about.” You blinked a few times, before you understood, “You’re… sending me to the Death Star?” “Yes. B- but only if you want to go!” Wouldn’t that place you directly under Krennic’s authority? Why was it suddenly an exciting prospect? “I would be honoured. This is- your decision?” “They asked me for recommendations and there was only ever one choice.” That had you beaming, “Thank you for the opportunity, Galen.” “Well, I know you won’t let the facility down. And you’re always welcome back.” You chewed your lip thoughtfully for a second, and couldn’t help but ask: “What is he really like?” “Who?” “The Director.” Galen didn’t really answer the question, although a smile twitched on his face, “We met in the Futures Program. I’ve known him a very long time… I can’t say he’s ever changed.” “So he’s an adult teenage boy?” Maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but Galen laughed. “Well, he has qualities that you’d be forgiven for thinking he was one.” “Huh.” You nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind.” “But he is brilliant, of that there is no doubt. The Death Star project may have been going a long time, but I doubt anyone else could have completed it the way he has. Sharp. Intelligent. You’ll like him, I think.” You wondered if you already did. “Well, we’ll see if I’m begging to come back any time soon-!” He chuckled gently, “Well, I certainly hope not.” It didn’t take you very long to pack up, you were practically living out of boxes as it was. And you weren’t sure if you were nervous about having to move or not. You supposed you were in two minds; you’d actually get to see and be on the Death Star while you worked – sure the plans were one thing but, once you got a feel for the actual structure, maybe you could even be a little more experimental… The advantage of being on Eadu was you could hide away in a lab and make the 10,000 mistakes to get to the one (usually accidental) breakthrough. You were the only one judging yourself here, it was quiet; out there, and under Krennic, all eyes would be on what you were doing. You’d maybe be given the leeway of 2 or 3 mistakes but none more than that. And everything would be urgent. Needed yesterday! It was a good thing that you could work under pressure. Leaving was hard, and as you hugged Galen goodbye you couldn’t help but feel a pain in your heart: “I wish it didn’t mean leaving.” “You deserve it.” “Maybe. I hope I get to come back, eventually.” “We’ll certainly welcome you with open arms!” “Take care of yourself, Galen.” “And you – if he gives you any trouble, come straight to me.” You nearly grimaced, “Noted, but I really hope it doesn’t come to that!” *** The cruiser that picked you up wasn’t his, and you were glad the journey wasn’t as long as you expected, so you didn’t have too much time to overthink what was happening to you. In fact as the Death Star loomed into view your mouth was agape – you weren’t sure you expected the sheer size of it: easy to look at some numbers on a datapad but, when it was in front of you, you thought you might have bitten off a little more than you could chew. You were equally pleased and disappointed that Krennic was neither there to pick you up or greet you on the station – mostly because you didn’t seem to be able to find any appropriate words to say. The bustle of engineers, technicians and general command staff told you you were a million miles from your lab on Eadu, and you found yourself unable to communicate in anything other than one word awe filled sentences. Thankfully the Officer who greeted you seemed to understand, and as she walked you to your lab (everyone was obviously eager for you to start!) she chuckled warmly, “Don’t worry, I was exactly the same when I arrived here. It’s a lot. You’ll get used to it – and from what I understand you’ll be a very welcome addition to our team.” “Thanks,” You swallowed hard, “yes, I understand there’s an expectation on me here.” “Well, the Director only wants the best of the best.” She keyed you into the lab and then handed you your pass, “If you’re here it’s because you are the best. And he wants you.” You tried hard not to think about that in any way other than for your work, but it was hard. Ever since that look he’d given you as he left, those vivid blue eyes filled your dreams – including those that you’d rather Krennic kept out of. As she continued talking, she snapped you back to reality: “Anyway, I will leave you to get settled in here, all your things will be sent to your quarters. I’ll have someone sent up with all the details and your datapad.” She grinned at the door before she turned to head out, “Welcome to the Death Star!” *** You spent your time unpacking all your laboratory kit - some of this work you’d only trust to go right with your own gear that much was certain - before you started examining the lab closely. Everything was, as expected, state of the art, they had every machine it was possible to get in order to aid you on your quest to get these vectors just right. If the work wasn’t quite so serious this was almost a wonderland for you. As you continued to stare around the lab, making mental notes of exactly which you would need and would be the most useful for your work, the lab doors slid open again to another visitor. You turned to explain yourself away as the new girl but immediately froze. Standing opposite you, also seemingly glued to the spot and an unreadable look on his face, was none other than Director Krennic. You weren’t sure you expected to see him so soon, and you were still thoroughly unprepared for it. He recovered better than you. “I was told my new hire had arrived. You-” He paused for a minute, head tipped, before a small smile appeared on his face, “You’re from the Eadu facility!” After all, Krennic hadn’t asked only Galen for help in recruiting – you just had the best credentials. But he certainly recognised you from that platform. “Yes, Sir, Galen sent me – he said you were looking for a good crystallographer.” “Yes. And you’re here, welcome. It’s good to finally meet you in person.” “The honour is mine, Director, I look forward to working with you.” You swallowed hard, “Believe me, it is me that is honoured… uhm?” “Oh, Y/N, Sir.” Then you blushed forgetting yourself, “Ah! Officer L/N!” That smile became a gentle smirk, “Would it be so awful for me to refer to you by your first name?” “…I’m sorry, I… It’s how we do things on Eadu, I… realise that I am not there anymore Sir, forgive me.” You could feel yourself getting hotter. “You need not be forgiven, Y/N. I’m happy to do things your way.” Krennic placed a datapad on the table in front of him, “It’s all set up correctly, I made sure of that myself. I have to make sure my researcher is well equipped on the first day of her job, after all.” On top of it he lay another access card, “You’ll need that for your room, your ID will allow you access to almost as many files as me, I figured you’ll need them.” Krennic’s blue eyes fell back on you, “Anything you can’t access you come directly to me, and anything else you need, the same. I will make sure it reaches you promptly.” “Yes, Sir.” You nodded through his explanation, “Thank you.” Krennic nodded back, looking around the room, “Tell me, how do you like the lab?” “It’s certainly state of the art. There’s probably not another one like it across the galaxy. There’s a lot I would like to explore with these devices once I’m finished with my work for the Battle Station. Time permitting.” Krennic shrugged, “Do what you will with the time that you have free. I expect you’ll work hard.” “Yes, Sir.” “Good.” He winked stepping back from you, “I will leave you to get settled, and may I welcome you to the Death Star! I’m very excited to see what you can do for us!” And by that smirk on his face, yes, you could bet… Krennic hurried back to his office cursing himself. Yes, he wanted the best – and he had absolutely no doubt that he would get it with you. He’d read every CV in great detail; obviously he’d paid more attention to those from Galen, considering the weaponry was coming from that lab, but Galen had neglected to mention that you were with him on Eadu in his note for you. You were Galen’s first choice, and Orson Krennic was not about to go against his friend’s advice. It was just your look. Not just physically, but that look on your face – he couldn’t shake it.  Now he could bet that your personality would be similar just to curse him… He didn’t fall in love often, not hard. Orson could fall in and out of ‘love’ with people very quickly – always liked to keep a string of bed mates, if he didn’t fall in love, and didn’t necessarily care, then he wouldn’t get hurt. And he hardly needed to put in much effort, a little bit of flirting and an expensive drink was all he usually needed. Besides, now Krennic had this rank bar and a reputation, so he probably needed even less: sometimes people were trying to pick him up – he couldn’t say he wasn’t flattered. On the occasions he did though – it usually had the proficiency to mess him up. You reminded him very much of a girl he’d known in the Futures Program – back when he was young and reckless. Okay, Krennic could back track on that sentence, young. That, first love, fast heartbeat, can’t stop staring, ‘only thing in the world that matters’ kind of feeling. The kind of love that at that age would make him naïvely think it’d be forever – where their ambitions would meld together and everything would just work out. Even if they had no idea how. Krennic would stand by it as a real love, a feeling he had chased since he lost her. He’d fallen that hard again since – sure – but never in the same way. Orson didn’t think you could ever get a ‘first love’ feeling back. And he certainly didn’t want to ever feel like he did when it ended again. But you, and your face, and your body, and that look you gave him – all Krennic could see in you was her. Turning to his datapad for a second he had half a mind to see who your parents were, then stopped short of himself. ‘Don’t be stupid, Orson, she’s too old for that!’ – even if marginally. It made him curious about you though, what if your personality was the same? What if all of these factors culminated in him… feeling like that about you. He almost cursed at himself. ‘Don’t be stupid, she works for you, and you’ll shake it. It’s just the shock, it’s two or three glimpses of her face – you’ll be able to pick out all the differences in no time. Then you won’t think about what you loved and lost… or yearn for it back.’ Krennic scoffed at the very idea of him yearning, but brought you up on his datapad anyway. A smirk started to spread its way across his face as he lingered on your photograph. Well, he certainly wasn’t averse to one of you getting messed up in the process of this partnership…
***
 Krennic was right, one of you was going to get messed up by this; and it seemed more obvious now that person was going to be him. He wanted your personality to be different to hers, then he could form some distinction - and for the most part you had differences, you were your own woman. The problem was Krennic let himself get obsessed over the similarities, those small details that wouldn’t have mattered to anyone else. And if he was honest those parts of you that were nothing like her just messed him up even more, because he liked those too. He liked you for you. It worried him.
You busied yourself with your work and tried to keep out of everyone’s way. You very much hoped it might be ‘out of sight out of mind’; but knew with the importance of the project you wouldn’t have that luxury. That had you experimenting until the early hours of the morning sometimes - and you always sent Krennic an update email last thing before you went to bed. Just so he never had to come looking himself: you’d heard all about him, but now you were here you’d witnessed it yourself. And Krennic screaming at people in corridors was not something you were that ready for. You did not want that wrath coming down on you, so you tried to keep one step ahead of the man that knew this station inside and out. What amazed you was, as you placed your datapad down for the evening and settled into your sheets, more often than not you’d receive a ‘ping’ to let you know of incoming mail. You’d ignored it for a while but - being too curious - investigated, only to find Krennic had sent you a thank you note. ‘What the heck is he still up working for!?’ Well, this became a regular occurrence, and tonight was no different - only now you waited to see if he’d reply and you smiled as it came in. ‘Why can’t everyone do this?  Do you know how well this Station would run!? Thank you. As ever. - K.’ You hovered over the reply button, as you had nearly all week. Every single time the knot in your stomach made you panic and you bailed out. Not tonight. ‘You are welcome, Director. Just doing my job. It’s getting late, you should probably get some rest.’ As he had, you signed off with your initial. It took him all of 5 seconds to reply, ‘I could say the same.  Goodnight, Y/N. – K.’ ‘Goodnight, Director. Sleep well.’ You grimaced as the message flew off to the other side of the Death Star, was that a step too far? Oh well. Couldn’t take it back now!
Eventually your reports got shorter, not for lack of trying, but progress was slow. And you always tried to make ‘nothing really happened today’ last for as many pages as possible. But you realised quickly that Director Krennic was smart enough to read between the lines; he never asked for more than you gave him, but as he started asking you for progress updates, rather than waiting until you sent them, you knew he wasn’t far off the point where you might start receiving those dreaded block capital emails.
It wasn’t like what you’d done up until now wasn’t hard; it was. It was just now you were at a snagging point and you really didn’t want to have to redo what you’d already done to get past it. It also wasn’t something you could easily bypass. And you couldn’t ignore it. If you got this wrong that laser didn’t work - and it’d all come back on you. This calculation was going to take time you didn’t have - NOBODY had - and the pressure was starting to get you frustrated.
You didn’t actually receive a block capital email, but an impromptu visit to your lab. And the colour must have immediately drained from your face - to counteract the way your heart decided to beat like a kick drum - because Krennic raised his hands in almost apology. “Thought it might be quicker to ask you rather than you to write up a report.” “Well you already know it’s not going well.” “I know woolly language when I see it. You don’t need to use filler with me. If you’re stuck just say so.” “Forgive me, Sir, but I don’t exactly want to get yelled at, and there’s a lot at stake here.” You cursed yourself internally for being so comfortable with talking to him like this. But decided that it might be best to speak your mind. “Why would I yell at you?” You gave him a pointed look that Krennic understood, but he didn’t think you quite understood the question. Why would he yell at you? Instead he cleared his throat, “I understand… Why don’t you, walk me through it?” “Can you help?” It wasn’t meant to come out so disbelieving, and you thought you’d put your foot in it about 10 times during this conversation already - but Krennic just shrugged. “I’ll see if I can assist. Maybe I’ll have a perspective you’re not thinking of.” You took a breath, “Okay...” “Okay.” He gave a firm nod, and sat at one of the lab tables, “What exactly are you trying to achieve that you cannot?” You took a deep breath, “Think of holding a laser pointer,” you collected one, and as a demonstration you pointed it at the blank wall and clicked it on; “Even with a steady hand, or two hands, there’s movement.” The dot wasn’t wiggling much but Krennic nodded along, “Well, this station is just a massive destructive laser pointer, with 8 different lasers all coming together… so in fact there’s 9 laser pointers in total. Even a millimetre out can be the difference between this laser working, or catching on something we don’t want it to and blowing up Imperial Forces, or - god forbid - the entire station…!” You walked over to a little holder you’d rigged up, placing the pen upon it and stepping back: “Crudely speaking when focusing a laser through Kyber it should keep the laser's trajectory steady with pinpoint accuracy, whilst also maintaining the power and range of the laser. It’s a multipoint system, if even one of those points is off, the whole thing fails. And what better to take the power of a laser created by Kyber than…” “Kyber.” You smiled enthusiastically, “Exactly!” Krennic looked back at the dot on the wall, “So what’s your snag?” You turned the datapad to face him, “This.” He raised an eyebrow immediately, “That’s… a lot of numbers.” “Yes. And every time I calculate it, it’s an error. And it needs to balance because it’s got to work between-” “Nine lasers.” You said in unison. “Correct.” You smiled, liking that he was getting it. “I don’t expect Kyber not to be able to take the force, it’s the making sure we’re hitting it all just right. To check how much the crystals might refract the energy. To make sure there’s not a power surge… I just can’t get the power balance right to get the trajectory… not to do something ridiculously wild.” “Or make the whole station virtually useless.” “Yes. And the thing is that the number is nearly always the same. You know, like… I’m point-5 out, and yet I can’t figure out where that is coming from. Freakin’ crystals, and Kyber is notoriously the worst!” You placed your hands on your hips, “I’ll get it. I just need time.” He nodded, “You have time believe me.” Krennic stood, “I believe I should leave you to it.” “But the completion of the-” “Let me worry about that. You worry about getting my vectors right. You have time.” That he could promise you. Krennic didn’t want you to panic, he thought that would throw this project into even more disarray. He needed you with a level head and at your best mindset. He thought he knew how to do just that. You flushed, “Thank you, Director.” “Don’t mention it, Y/N.” He paused as he got to the door, turning back to you those blue eyes caught yours and you nearly jumped at the dark flicker across them. “I look forward to reading your report, tonight.” The way his voice lowered like that, how that smooth tone he usually kept laced with a growl had you struggling to breathe as he left, and you had to undo your uniform and catch your breath. ‘Geez, what was that!?’ Did you have a thing for your senior commander? A real thing!? Sure those damn eyes were always haunting your dreams, and he was nearly always your daily closing thought (but he put himself there, didn’t he!) but… this was more than that, this was a physical reaction - and you were sure he was eliciting an emotional one from you, too. “God dammit, Y/N,” you breathed, looking back to the door and wishing he’d come walking back through it, “could you have a worse idea-!?” *** He had to be honest he wasn’t sure why he had no semblance of control around you; it should have been easy to control. Krennic spent his life trying to control his emotions… okay, maybe not very well but he did. You had him smiling all over the place. He far outstayed his welcome in the lab whenever he found reason to go down there; and Krennic certainly found plenty of reason. Usually if he visited anyone at their work station he was either none too pleased with them, or he wanted their report - and quickly! - before he swept himself off to another meeting or urgent matter around the station. He liked the sound of your voice explaining things to him; and how every question he asked was met with not just an answer, but a good answer. Instead of a string of ‘I don’t know, sir’s. Nothing Krennic asked of you ever seemed like trouble either; then again he supposed you wouldn’t really want to refuse the Director of the Death Star what he wanted. It was obvious you wanted to remain here, and you were trying to do your very best to figure out all these algorithms alone.
Krennic sent you an assistant and even got you on calls with people in similar fields. The assistant stayed with you a little, until it got a little too complicated even for them and you dismissed them with thanks - you’d got a step closer, that’s all you could ask for. Eventually though, you had to reach out to Galen - and Krennic wanted to sit in on these calls. You wondered if it was because he thought the two of you would spend the majority of it dragging him - you rather thought you might be giving him a string of compliments with half the chance to do so. And the three of you started to break your work down to basics. Krennic’s new perspective aided more than you really wanted to admit to him, but he had this attitude that made you think he wanted to be useful here - and it made you more than a little suspicious. Maybe he really was spying on you both…
Krennic wasn’t sure if he wasn’t forcing the relationship to grow beyond appropriate parameters, all discussions did still revolve around work after all, but was happy that you were forthcoming. Spending more time with you meant he could analyse you more - and whilst you still very much reminded him of his ex-lover, you were becoming your own person. The person who filled his thoughts. You were almost his every waking moment. When in your lab together, even when Krennic was listening to every word, he was watching your body - the way you moved was fluid as you eagerly explained something and demonstrated. But meticulous and calculating when you were working on a screen - absolutely none of your energy was wasted that could have been used to think on the problem. And yet even every small movement you made was significant. Usually to cross through or correct a calculation. Change your vector arrows around a little. Krennic liked watching you do this too, because when it was all correct you gave this small satisfied smile, and even though it was to yourself, it was very endearing - it was one thing he always looked forward to seeing.
Tonight, as ever, Krennic was agonising over waiting for your report. No matter how exhausted he might be when he finally retired to his quarters for the evening, he always knew your end of day email would come through and Krennic forced himself to stay awake for it. Mostly so he could read too much into the string of ‘flirty’ emails that followed it, but he couldn’t have been the only one who read that energy. After all, sometimes he gratuitously flirted back, and you still kept responding. As soon as he heard that ping he rushed across the room to read it. You reporting was always concise even though you managed not to leave a single detail out - and now he knew more about your work, it was easier to understand and for him to scan through. Krennic would be more thorough tomorrow. ‘Thorough as ever, Ms. L/N. – K.’ ‘I like to make sure you don’t need to ask questions.’ ‘Where’s the fun in that? – K.’ ‘It helps me sleep better.’ ‘Me not ask questions about your reporting? – K.’ ‘Goodnight Director. Please get some sleep!’ He remembered the first time that he’d read that goodnight from you, how he’d stared at those words for a long time - heart stilled. It didn’t help him sleep at all, far from it. In fact nothing about you seemed to help anything - except Krennic thinking on you.
You were impressive - dare he say that you had more skill in your particular area than maybe even Galen did. That, added to the weight of his constant Futures Program reminder, kept you at the forefront of his mind constantly. Krennic found it very hard to concentrate on his own work; and his thoughts wandered, particularly in meetings he found to be less than stimulating. He’d poured over your CV and your previous published research time and again. Read all your imperial records and anything Intelligence could get hold of on you. Krennic knew almost everything there was to know, and yet he wanted to hear it all from you. And you seemed less than forthcoming with information that was personal. That almost worried him - maybe you weren’t looking for anything other than a professional relationship with him. Krennic wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to keep it that way; eventually he’d have to make some kind of move - he couldn’t let you go without you knowing. He wasn’t about to let you be the (other) one that got away. Not both of you. Time ticked on this evening, and he lay in his sheets wide awake. Work was making him drowsy; and he’d been up and down trying to work himself to sleep, but every time he put his datapad down and switched off the lights he was alert again. Krennic glanced at the clock and groaned, watching the minutes race towards his alarm. Unsurprisingly it was thoughts of you that were keeping him awake. Usually you were on his mind at night; you were certainly the last one before he turned the light off, but usually he could drift to sleep perfectly fine. Not tonight. Krennic placed his hands palm down on his stomach, inhaling and exhaling slowly: wasn’t that how you did it? Deep, slow, calming breaths. That evidently made things worse, and his breathing patterns this time brought with them fairly vivid images that occasionally he’d seen in dreams. Certainly none of them were very professional - and all of them were about you. ‘Stars-! Orson, stop it!’ But he couldn’t, and his mind wanted to play tricks on him, trying to make him imagine what it would feel like to touch your bare skin, to hear you moan quietly, the way you might say his name in elation. He growled to himself as heat gathered a little lower than his hands were. He moved them, breaths already short and sharp and not at all where he’d intended to be at… “This is a bad idea.” Orson groaned softly and bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut bringing all those images back; did he really have any better ones? *** It wasn’t a lie to state you were getting closer. At least to the point where Krennic started to make jokes in meetings that were clearly meant for you only. And when you looked up to him unsure if it was appropriate to laugh and he’d almost dare you to, you knew they certainly were. He’d always ask for a score out of 10 in his emails to you now. And it was refreshing for you to find a similar relationship to the one you had with Galen here… well, maybe you shouldn’t have been surprised. They were good friends after all, and there had to be a reason for that. Krennic also made a habit of being wherever you were. And you weren’t sure that was so endearing. You understood why he would want to be around your lab - maybe not as often as he was, but then… perhaps you knew the reason for that too, you just didn’t want to hope on it - but not why he’d turn up in corridors he had no business being in. Or would end up in the cafeteria at the exact moment you walked in. He even ended up in staff briefings he’d specifically asked someone else to take either so he could sit or stand near you. You couldn’t help but find some of this behaviour odd: was Krennic stalking you? Was he looking out for you? Was he protecting you? You couldn’t imagine it was just coincidence - and part of you hoped it wasn’t. You just couldn’t really tell his intentions. That’s what scared you the most.
By now you’d heard the coffee room chat about Krennic - seemed he had a bit of a lady’s man reputation. Pretty smooth at getting you into bed, but would love you and leave you just as fast, and on-to-the-next-one. Were you simply the next one? Because as much as by now you wanted to be, you certainly didn’t want to be one on a list… love you was okay… but leave you? You weren’t the type of woman who would put yourself in that position. For him would you?
It made you a little more cautious around him, and suddenly that made your relationship slip. Because you didn’t know if you should be flirting with him or joking with him as much as you were. This pull back from you didn’t faze Krennic too much, just made him try a little harder. For you it then became obvious what he wanted. And you had to do your damndest to control yourself. You both did.
You were using every ounce of your Imperial training to try to ignore your feelings, to make sure your face stayed level and revealed nothing. You always tried to keep your eyes on his face; instead of the wandering they wanted to do - even when he wasn’t directly talking to you. That didn’t mean that when he was walking away from you, or simply keeping busy in your lab, you weren’t discreetly checking him out. You had to wonder what he looked like out of that uniform, considering he looked so gorgeous in it. You were inexplicably drawn to him, but you weren’t sure if it was his power you were attracted to: the rank bar on that uniform told everyone exactly who was boss and he walked like he owned every corridor in this place. He didn’t even need to exert his influence in meetings, everyone knew he was the most important man in the room. When Krennic had something to say everyone listened, even when he said it quietly. You’d never known someone to command that kind of attention, and considering that reputation you were not the only officer - of any gender - who fawned over him. You were just the best at hiding it. That charisma he exuded really was something to behold; he was just far too confident. Maybe a little conceited in it too, but you were sure you’d be powerless to it. The Director probably had the ability to walk up to you and say “Come to bed with me” and you’d go on that alone, you knew if he was so inclined, he could just say it like that. It was probably in your favour that Krennic liked to be a little more suave. Krennic seemed like one for class and grace. Or was it that you really were attracted to him, that you had some kind of undeniable chemistry. That you would almost count him a friend. That you just liked being in Krennic’s aura and talking to him about work… you’d even started to open up to him about personal stuff, where you’d grown up, your family… how exactly you’d ended up a crystallographer who was working here on laser vectors. And most importantly how much you loved storms, planetary or solar - this seemed like something you had to let him know. Just a silly little fact, perhaps, but to you it really meant something. It was little moments like that, when he laughed at your stories, that you thought this really might be mutual attraction, rather than someone Krennic just wanted to get in bed.
Yet, you had an effect on him also and he tried to hide it as well as you did. You caught it, only because you knew the look of someone trying to contain themselves. You saw it in the mirror or polished surfaces of this battle station all the time. Krennic quite often clenched his jaw around you, he had this habit of staring at you like he was staring through you; and sometimes he would just stare forward if you were next to him. That almost annoyed you, because you wanted to be able to look into those crystal blue orbs just once... But if Krennic was watching you, then it was an altogether different story, and if he ever caught you catching him, that look in his eyes didn’t disappear; it was hungry, and although it stirred something within you that you had to fight even harder to control, it scared you a little too - and in the back of your mind it lit a spark that became a raging fire. And you had to know, would he act on that look too? You made a vow, before you’d finished your work, before you’d left this battle station - you would find out.
Today hadn’t been so bad by all accounts; the test you’d set up you would have to leave overnight, so you got out of the lab on time. Maybe you’d even get an early night tonight. Maybe you’d persuade the Director to one of his own with your report email; you thought he probably needed it. A frown pulled its way across your face as you arrived at your quarters with the door open, and you poked your head around it, gasping to find other officers moving things around, and carrying what appeared to be boxes of your stuff. You hadn’t authorised this! “What’s going on!?!” You blurted, a little angrier than you’d meant, “What are you doing!?” Then you froze for a second; had you read something wrong? You knew something was up with him… but maybe you were supposed to have acted on it by now? Maybe your work was taking too long - was he pissed at you? Did Krennic want you off the station!? You looked to the most senior officer, “Am I being thrown off the project?!” “No.” At least you could breathe then, “We’re simply moving your quarters.” “Moving my quarters?” You couldn’t help but be confused: had you missed that email? It seemed a little too important to just be sprung upon you. “On whose orders!? I haven’t signed off on this!” “Director Krennic’s.” That shut you up almost immediately. ‘Oh well shit, what’s he moving me for!?’ You swallowed hard, not even caring if it was visible. “Well, in that case you better show me where I’m moving to…”
Once you got there - and they assured you that your key card would still work - you realised that you hadn’t just moved to any old room. Krennic had moved you to a commander's quarters, and it was plush to say the least. You had so much more room in here. The bay window stretched at least half the room and you couldn’t help your small smile; ‘he remembered’. Your little stories of staying up huddled in a window frame to watch storms in nearby, or passing, solar systems and planets. You shook your head slowly to yourself and picked up your datapad again, figuring out where exactly you were on the ship - further from the labs, which was a minor inconvenience. It seemed that at least there was an elevator close by that you could use to get to the right floor and then it’d be a straight walk. What interested you though was, looking at the schematic, you appeared to be just two corridors away from Krennic’s own room. That was not coincidence. “Son of a-” suddenly you found yourself laughing. Why? So he could walk past your room every day? So he had you closer? And looking at the rooms around, probably as close as he could get: you were surrounded by his senior command team.
You moved through the room, and started to notice little details that he’d had placed here; books by your favourite authors, or researchers… your favourite music. Maybe you’d told him far too much about yourself. But it was the fact he retained the information that had you impressed. He’d even left you a box, tied with ribbon in your bathroom, and when you pulled at it you found it was filled with very expensive toiletries, that you knew he wouldn’t have been able to come by easily, in all your favourite scents. Nothing is coincidence at all… is it Krennic? Was he trying to woo you - was this all part of a game plan; you could only conclude yes. And by the way your heart was currently beating in your chest, you had to say it was working.
Moving back into the main room and sitting back on the bed with your datapad, ready to send your report for the evening, you’d failed to notice the letter lying on top of your sheets. You pulled your finger across the top of the envelope and unfolded the card carefully: ‘Dear Y/N, Welcome to your new quarters. I believe someone of your talent is worthy of somewhere a little nicer. You will find me just down the hall if you need anything, and please do not hesitate. I hope you enjoy your stay here. And, should there be a storm, that you enjoy the view. Director Orson C. Krennic Head - Imperial Weapons Division’ The card also seemed to be scented, which you had to raise an eyebrow at; ‘who uses scented note cards?! What’s that all about!?’ You put it down to having more money than sense and placed the card on your bedside table, before getting back to what was really important.
As expected, even when it was a little earlier in the evening, Orson Krennic responded to your email almost immediately. ‘Earlier than usual? You really are efficient, Y/N. – K.’ ‘Thought I would get an early night in Director… in my new quarters. You should to.’ - You weren’t meant to imply together, but you also didn’t care if that’s how he read it. ‘Any thoughts? – K.’ ‘They are very nice, thank you. Although in future a little more notification would help!’ ‘Noted. And as you are closer, you can deliver your reports in person now – K.’ You raised an eyebrow, why would that make any sense? ‘When I can send it over email?’ Why... would you? Even when closer the time it’d take you to walk to his quarters, give him the document and walk back, would still be far longer than an email. ‘Consider it. – K.’ ‘I will!’ You weren’t sure you would, but that was what he wanted to hear. And of course you’d play to that whim. ‘Good. Goodnight, Y/N – K.’ ‘Goodnight Orson.’ You stared at the email after you’d sent it and almost screamed. What were you doing-!?! Why were you addressing a senior officer by his first name!? What was he bringing you to? You placed your head in your hands and took a deep breath. ‘Okay, it’s one slip and you can say you were tired and apologise profusely later…’
You threw your tablet on your table too and snuggled back under your new plush sheets. The bed was cozy and soft and suddenly you couldn’t be happier that Krennic had arranged for this. You closed your eyes; it was this time of the evening you liked to try and ground yourself. It was clear that both of you wanted each other to some degree, but you were the one that had to be sure about this and the most careful. You had more to lose here; Krennic had the ability to kick you off the project, not just out of his bed… if you ever got in it. But by now you were pretty sure you would end up in it. It was more a matter of when. He was powerful, you’d covered that. But Krennic was also dangerous, that much was also obvious… dangerous in terrible and delicious ways. So perhaps, as well as everything else, you were drawn to that danger. You wondered suddenly which side of him would show up more when it was just the two of you alone… in conditions more intimate. Would that power completely consume you; did you have any chance at all? You weren’t sure you wanted any at just the opportunity to be pinned under his body. To run your hands over his skin. To answer all the questions you had, and see if all those water cooler rumours were true… (You hoped to God some of them were.)
You were close to drifting off when your eyes suddenly snapped open. Krennic was your favourite pre-sleep thought, and your subconscious tonight brought you a revelation. That note card was not scented. You scrambled around for it and held it close to your face, inhaling. That was what Krennic smelled like - you should know because you’d always thought he smelt pretty good, it was a fairly subtle scent when on his skin - here it was a little stronger, which is why it had taken you so long to pick up on it.
That damn man had sprayed his note to you with his cologne. *** You decided that Krennic knew far too much about you. On the morning after your move you opened your door to head back to the labs, so you could check on the results of your testing, and Krennic was two steps from your door. You were startled by his sudden presence but he offered nothing but a small smile and a casual, “Right on time, Ms. L/N.” “Uh- I- Director.” You wouldn’t exactly say you greeted him as he felt in step with your walk towards the elevator. “How do you think your testing went?” “Well…” You took a deep breath, instantly regretting it as that cologne seemed to surround you completely. Now your senses were looking for it. Your stomach knotted and you felt the immediate urge to press your thighs together and groan. Dammit. “Well?” Krennic pressed, eying you when you didn’t answer. You hoped your face wasn’t flushing even though you felt hot. “It’s a make or break test. I certainly hope it’s worked.” You could hear that strained edge to your voice, you knew for certain Krennic would have picked up on it. As you turned into the elevator you immediately reached for your button, the Director was two steps ahead of you and your hands brushed. You withdrew yours immediately, and knew you must have been red by now. “S-Sorry.” “No, my apologies, I just wanted to help.” You stared at the floor of the elevator for a good few minutes, holding your fingertips in your other hand. Why did it tingle like that? You didn’t actually ever think you’d physically touched him before, had you? Even when you’d been so close previously in the lab. But it’s not even like it was his skin. In fact, for someone with such a reputation, Krennic had very little skin on display at all. Did he ever not wear gloves? Not that you could recall. ‘Stop-! Y/N! You sound so repressed! You’ve seen naked men before.’ Your eyes flicked back to Krennic, staring at the ceiling, and you swallowed hard. Sure, but you hadn’t seen him naked. The rest of the ride was conducted in silence, because you didn’t trust yourself not to blurt out anything you shouldn’t, but as you left Krennic took a step to stop the doors from closing. “What, not even a goodbye?” You paused in the corridor and turned back to him, unable to stop yourself from smiling that he actually wanted that from you. “Goodbye Director, have a good day.” “Not likely, but work permitting. Good day, Y/N.” and as the doors slid closed on him you caught his wink, and could swear he was smirking.
You stood outside your little lab for a long time before you entered. You admitted to yourself you were delaying the inevitable but you needed to. After all, if this was a complete failure then you might as well throw out almost a years’ worth of work. Well, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but at least all the months you’d been up here on the battle station. You’d need a good stiff drink and to cry in bed for a couple of days at the very least. Oh, and you’d probably be fired, reputation in ruins… You keyed yourself in and flicked on the lights. What you had done was rigged up a few small versions of the Death Star and set each of them to different vectors. The pieces of Kyber you were using were tiny, but they would still work in principle with your laser pens.
You stared at the points on the wall in turn. One had disappeared completely, which was all but useless to you. It didn’t mean that the calculation wasn’t steady: it could have just meant that the trajectory was way off. Either way, you could discount that as a failure. And the next one; giving a similar waver to when you’d shown Krennic what ‘steady hands’ really meant. Although minimal, you’d already explained why you couldn’t stand for it. That left the last two. And the results looked fairly similar even though your vectors were different for both. You had to call the result unexpected: perhaps there were two ways to do this. You looked back to your little models and then to the points, waving your hand in front of the lasers. And then you smiled, and that small smile became a grin, became a laugh of triumph. Although both were near perfect, the third one had a far stronger beam of light. There was your power. The second most important part of the project. The station had to do what it was built for when the laser reached its target, after all. “We have a winner.” You whispered to yourself walking back to your table. Now you had to report these findings and scale them up to full size. Working in other contingency factors - after all that laser would not be travelling through clean air in a lab and hitting a solid smooth wall. That would be fun.   Still, you couldn’t wait on his report to tell him the good news. ‘Report spoilers: It works!’ There was a long pause between emails, and you could picture Krennic sitting at his desk, relief flooding him, smug little smirk on his face that this was finally going to get done - the finish line seemed in sight now. You hoped you’d made his day. When the email came back you couldn’t help but read into it a little more than you probably should have, and yet you also thought he wanted you to: ‘This sounds like a cause for celebration... – K.’
You did not in fact bring the report to him by hand, and neither did he ask it of you, but from that day forward you were called into his office daily briefings. And suddenly you got to realise just what your research meant to the people working on this station, because the first day you walked in, expecting to see just him, the room was full of his top engineers and each and every single one of them was applauding you. “Now the real work begins.” Krennic was leaning against his desk, arms folded, with eyes only for you. “Welcome, Y/N, to the team that will build your concept. From physical engineering to coding. I will assist in overseeing you, but the team are now at your disposal. From now, until test day.” Your eyes couldn’t help but light up, even though you knew you should have probably been professional about this. “Thank you, Director.” You beamed, “I look forward to working with all of you. Let's make this vision a reality, for the Empire!”
Suddenly this was better than anything you’d had with Krennic before - you almost had non-stop contact with him, from walking out of your door in the morning, to retiring for the evening. And you were happy to find that he provided both the perfect intellectual and humorous stimulant. You also noted how many crew members now looked at you with nothing but jealousy. Despite the fact nothing had happened between you yet. The way he regarded you was now even more open. Every look that followed every little flirtatious comment or innuendo was extremely pointed. Sometimes his eyes would even darken. It scared you enough to have you shy away from him; but also had you scared at how much you desired him. You just wanted him to touch you, just the smallest taste. To be honest you didn’t care what he did, as long as he did something. Krennic could bend you over his desk in front of your entire engineering team for all you cared anymore.
Speaking of your engineering team, you’d never seen a group of people work harder or more efficiently, and seeing them turn all your data and tiny models into tangible pieces for the Death Star was wonderful. You gasped to see the sheer size of the Kyber they had harvested to give your vectors pinpoint accuracy. “I have never… seen Kyber like that!” And the way Krennic got all smug again, “Only the best for you. Of course.” “You flatter me, Sir.” And that little knowing nod he gave you back. Once everything started to go into place, and you got word that Galen was almost finished with the laser itself (you received many an email from him about how proud he was and so many others from your friends back on Eadu that you almost cried, thanking them again and again for their participation in even the smallest part of your research), that the dish was currently in the process of being assembled outside and you couldn’t believe you were doing this. You couldn’t believe you were about to be a part of history. Your name was going to be right up there. Never even in your wildest dreams... As you could take a little more time over your reports these days, and there was far less for you to really comment on, you did start to present Krennic with physical copies. Usually just before you headed off for the evening you would drop them off on his desk with a small smile, and he would drag them towards him. “Glad to see you are taking my advice.” “Well, as you seemed fairly adamant I did it, I thought I had better start, Director.” “They do make for good bedtime reading.” “I’ll bet…” Only for the last week you’d started spraying them with your perfume, very subtly at first, but steadily the scent became stronger, and oh, he had noticed. When the doors closed behind you this evening he held the report to his nose and inhaled, groaning as heat coursed through his body. Krennic couldn’t take it any longer, he knew exactly what you were doing. Both of you were dancing around it, and now neither of you were being very subtle, either. But this was the final straw - because he wanted this scent all over him. What it would feel like to pin you beneath him, have your body against his as you whined and called his name, what it would feel like to finally be inside you… He’d certainly thought on it in quieter moments of the evening enough… *** Tonight your report was late. Not for no good reason; you had a lot of data to review. Galen kept sending you updated laser figures to get you as close as possible with your final vectors. Oh, you had no doubt that the Kyber could take it. You’d given a wide berth for the perimeters; but still, you wanted to check and triple check. On your head be it if you didn’t and everything went wrong. Still you wanted to stop by Krennic’s office to let him know why it would be late, as you always seemed to bring it to him around this time these days.
Krennic looked up as you walked in, without even knocking, but he hardly cared about that. His eyes narrowed at the lack of papers in your arms. “Where is my report?” Your face scrunched a little, “If you’d let me get a word out Director, I would tell you. I have a lot of data back from Galen that I want to check and double check before I send it over to you. I want to give you as accurate data and results as possible. So it’ll probably be late, or later than it has been these past few weeks.” Krennic tilted his head, eyebrow raised “Late?” He didn’t sound very appreciative. “Only about as ‘late’ as used to be normal.” He rose from his chair, and those blue eyes locked on yours, “Late-late bedtime reading? This from a woman who says I should be going to bed earlier.” “This once!” You protested as he rounded his desk. “You think that’s good enough?” You didn’t understand why he’d be mad at you, and Krennic didn’t sound mad… but the words he was using… “Well I didn’t think you’d mind.” “Oh, believe me, I mind.” “I-” You were about to tell him you were sorry - although really you had nothing to be sorry for - but he didn’t stop beside you. Instead Krennic stood behind you, a little too close for your liking.
You froze immediately as his voice lowered to a whisper, reaching out to brush a lock of hair behind your ear. The scrape of leather against your skin made you shiver, and you only wished it was his fingertips. You bit back your moan. “I am alone in my quarters after 2200 hours, it sounds like I’ll have data to review with you: that’s an order.” You swallowed unsure of the kind of response he wanted, “Yes, Sir.” slipped out of your mouth and he seemed satisfied. “Good girl. I want it on paper, as you’ve been doing recently.” “Yes, Sir.” “Well then…” He stepped away from you and you realised that you’d barely breathed for the past few minutes, “You best get to it, hadn’t you?” “Yes, Sir.” What was wrong with you!? Was that all you could say!? When you turned around he’d already moved away, crossing the room. “Good. Now go. And don’t make me wait, Y/N.” Krennic glanced over his shoulder at you, blue eyes burning, “As I’m sure you know by now, I am not a patient man.” *** You had to admit the pressure was on now. Because you did really want to present him with a decent report. (Just in case he wasn’t messing with you and he would be pissed if you didn’t turn up at 2200 with the correct figures.) And you sat back in the lab speed typing your way to the end whilst also trying to be as careful about Galen’s calculations as possible. You were right of course, his new figures still worked perfectly within your own. You looked at the clock, 2130. And the Director had told you not to be late. You printed the report and rushed back to your quarters; your heart was beating on overdrive. Was this about to be the encounter you’d always imagined? The throbbing ache between your thighs you’d also been trying (and failing) to ignore since he’d brushed his fingers to your skin earlier certainly hoped so. You barely had time for a quick shower to freshen up, but you took it anyway before changing and spraying yourself with that same perfume you’d been dousing your reports in, and hoping you wouldn’t run into anyone in the two corridors that you would have to traverse.
You checked yourself in the mirror as you gathered the hard copy of the report and your datapad for back up. You looked flushed, but still pretty at least. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself for your walk - you had a feeling you were about to end up being even more so… You paused suddenly and turned to the window; the colour of space had suddenly caught your eye. Purples and blues fogged in front of you, instead of the usual endless rolling black flecked with stars. It shimmered every so often and you recognised it instantly. ‘An Ion storm is coming…’ you breathed. You hadn’t noticed because your lab had no windows, but you were overjoyed that you hadn’t missed it. You allowed yourself to marvel it for a few seconds more before you realised you were about to make yourself late. Padding down the corridors you were pleased to see that there was no-one on route and you reached his room at exactly 2159. You waited for that minute to tick over, and at 2200, you knocked.
“Enter.” Krennic’s voice called you, with a sultry edge to it. And you bit your lip gently. At the sound of his voice his door slid open, and beckoned you inside. *** If you thought your room was spacious and had a generous window, this one was something else. Krennic’s quarters had a window that swept almost the entire far end of the room, and your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to those vibrant purples and blues again. The lighting was fairly dimmed but you recognised it as ambiance; Krennic was setting a mood here. That feeling stirred once more in the pit of your stomach and you swallowed hard, the room had all the amenities, and you wondered why the hell he even wanted an office as well as this. Probably because he didn’t want everyone in his room, you guessed, but he had a desk and everything here. You scanned across the room to the bed; at least king sized, the sheets looked comfortable and luxurious. Why didn’t that surprise you either.
Footsteps approached from your left and Krennic swept around the corner from whatever had been keeping him occupied. He halted, immediately tipping his head to survey your body - instinctively you pulled the papers up to your chest and hugged them close. “I-I believe you asked me here to take you through a data review, Sir. And I made sure to print them all.” He hadn’t even traced his way up to your face yet and that smile became a grin, became a smirk. Krennic stepped forward - bless you for actually printing the damn report. He held his hand out, “Indeed I did.” You offered up the paperwork and he walked back to his desk, beckoning you to follow him. He could already smell the perfume on the documents, biting back a low moan. He had no intention of reading them tonight. In fact you hadn’t even sprayed the documents with your perfume, but there was so much of it on you that when you’d held them close it couldn’t help but transfer across. Krennic set them, and your datapad, down on his desk and turned back to you, now a little further into the room. Your hair was down to natural length and framed your face delicately. There were no shoes on your feet either. But your dress… oh… Ending just appropriately long enough to cover everything, the silk slip dress - in your favourite colour, Krennic remembered - plunged pretty low, thin straps looped over your shoulders and, he couldn’t see yet, but it had a low back too. At least you were dressed appropriately for where your evening was going to go. Krennic swallowed, aware of his own arousal as he made his way slowly back over to you, again, instead of stopping in front of you he rounded your body. Where he was close the cape brushed against your bare skin and you had to bite your lip hard not to whimper. Why was just the feel of it so sexy? Was it really the thought of being covered in it and nothing else? Would he wear it if you asked him to…? No, maybe not for your first time together… you didn’t think he’d want you making too many demands of him.
“I checked the weather for today and it looks like there will be a good ion lightning storm in the area. We can’t exactly move out of its way so… I thought you might like to observe…” “You remember a lot of things about me, Director… this one I might just have to thank you for.” Even as he disappeared behind you again you kept your eyes front on space, although you couldn’t help but be curious if he was going to touch your hair again. It hadn’t escaped your notice that he was finally gloveless. I really AM like a repressed maiden! He halted, and somehow it felt like he was even closer than before; was Krennic’s breath on the back of your neck just your imagination? You shivered involuntarily and even if you couldn’t see him, you could picture that smirk. His voice was at a husky whisper, already threatening to drive you wild. You didn’t dare press your thighs together, despite your desperation. “This dress is certainly not regulation uniform, and as per the rules, that would mean it needs to be removed.” You didn’t even get the chance to wonder if Krennic was going to do it himself as his large hands rested on your shoulders for a moment. You couldn’t help but tense; it seemed like such a foreign concept, his bare skin touching yours. You wondered if his hands would be calloused with all the work he did. He certainly didn’t mind getting dirty. But he was an architect at heart, and his hands seemed pretty smooth, assured, and warm… he was so warm… Krennic caressed his fingertips over you and you really couldn’t have helped that small whine even if you’d have tried. You were still picturing that delicious little smirk in your head, and you wanted to kiss it off. Patience… At this rate you’ll be getting to do more than that... His fingers slid under the straps, pulling them off your shoulders agonisingly slow, but Krennic didn’t attempt to help the fabric down your body, instead he just let it fall. It pooled around your feet and you swallowed hard again, hearing the slight chuckle in his voice before he tsked you. “You didn’t think to wear anything underneath?” “Well I thought about it, but-” You gasped as his hand grasped your waist, sliding down to your hip, his other brushing your hair back to expose your neck. Krennic’s first kiss wasn’t even tentative; but it was teasing and you shook under his touch. He smirked into your neck as he continued to kiss a trail. You bit back a groan, closing your eyes to the sensation of his lips on your skin, sighing for certain as his tongue ran over you. Had you told him this too? Or did he really know far too much… Finally having him kiss you after all this time was something that you almost found indescribable, and the heat between your thighs made you press them together as discreetly as possible - he’d get there you were sure of it, but that ache demanded attention. Krennic inhaled - and somehow that perfume smelled even better on your skin. He growled, grazing his teeth over your jugular, pulling your body back into his. “Oh… Y/N… you smell so good.” You gasped again as this time his arms locked around your waist to hold you in place; so close that his cape once again brushed your skin, you simply lay your hands over his. His still clothed body pressed up against yours felt simply divine and you knew Krennic was about to drive you insane, on purpose. As those kisses to your neck became a little hotter - and you started to imagine all the marks about to be left on your body - you couldn’t resist tipping your head back to sigh his name. You couldn’t be sure which he wanted to hear, but surely he would tell you if it was his first name. Maybe he didn’t want his lovers to call him that… you remembered your promise not to become just one on a list, but you didn’t want to think too hard on that right now. Much more enjoy the moment. You leant your body weight back against him, suddenly feeling tiny in his large hands. He smirked into your skin again, pulling back, one hand coming back up to turn your face to his.
“My, my… You’re already so flushed and… responsive.” That little smirk was so gorgeous you had second thoughts about kissing it off. You were already aware of how heavy you were breathing. Krennic bit his lip and somehow that made him sexier, “Have you thought about this?” You nodded, hardly seeing the point of lying. “A lot?” You knew the blush on your cheeks was only getting deeper as you nodded again. Krennic chuckled, “At least I’m not the only one…” He held you in place by your chin, “Whatever your fantasies are, you can tell me. But I can promise I’ll be better.” He studied your face intently, “Would you like me to kiss you, Y/N?” You wondered if that was a stupid question, eyes flicking to his lips and back to that intense stare he was giving you, “Y-Yes.” Surprisingly his kiss wasn’t as rough as they had been to your neck, but he showed no mercy when deepening it, and his tongue wasn’t about to let yours assert any dominance. You could taste hints of alcohol and caffeine, and something sweet - although you could hardly remember what they were serving in the canteen now. When Krennic finally released your lips to let you breathe, you were panting even harder - how was it possible to feel that power even in his kisses; you were going to be completely at his mercy all night and right now it was a delightful prospect. The wealth of experience he had meant he could surely show you a thing or two. The next graze of his lips to yours was fleeting, and he drew from you a whine. By his smile exactly what Krennic wanted. His hands wandered as he pressed a kiss into your shoulder, down the run of the pulse in your neck and over your clavicles to your breasts. Keeping those steely blue eyes on yours you were hardly able to look away as his fingertips brushed over your sensitive nipples. Even your attempts to stifle your groans didn’t work and you closed your eyes to his touch as he circled his fingertips around one. “You are so fucking beautiful…” He nudged your head gently with his own to expose your neck to him once more, “And you sound fucking beautiful too…” “K-Krennic…” You mumbled his name again, once again fixating on his fingertips as he moved them across to your other breast, repeating the same teasing circular motion before he kneaded you. You thought you’d read somewhere that you could orgasm just from this - and right now you’d believe it; feeling that sticky sweetness on your inner thighs. At this rate you weren’t going to last until Krennic touched you there. “Maybe we’ll have to make this your regulation uniform.” His voice was husky, “I’m sure I could have that rule changed just for you.” You shuddered again as he pinched your nipple between his fingers playfully, “Would you like that?” “O-Only f-or you.” You might as well go for it; he might as well know exactly how you felt. “Ahhhh!” Krennic vocalised like he’d just figured it all out, “Should I just keep you here? Or in my office? I hold a great many meetings there, though… I’m not sure I would like them all staring at you in your uniform.” He growled into the next kiss he placed to your skin, “I get jealous too, you know?” Well you did now.
Krennic straightened himself to full height, still supporting your weight his hands travelled down your body agonizingly slow; almost as if he was committing every inch of you to his memory. You already knew he liked details - and he was an architect; so it was Krennic’s business to know detail. Just how much could he remember about a lover? How much of you were you prepared for him to discover about you. His fingertips traces over your ribs, down and across your bellybutton and just below your stomach when he paused and his eyes left you. For a moment you’d quite forgotten that you were in the middle of an ion storm, and you wondered what exactly had dragged his attention away from you. The illumination of his face in the first strike of lightning made you gasp. And all you could think of was those eyes in the rainstorm on Eadu. The first time you’d ever seen him, an image that still haunted you. That was no doubt responsible for you now being naked in his arms like this. You turned to the window to watch the lightning for a moment too, flashing across the purples, blues and pinks of the cloud. “Isn’t it beautiful.” You breathed gently, and you heard him chuckle, “I don’t think you’ve looked in a mirror.” This time he pressed his kiss to your temple, and it was almost sweet. But now Krennic had you distracted by the storm - so his fingers traced lower and before you knew it he was pressing down gently on your clit. Your body gave a lurch into his and he growled again. Moving his fingers into your folds, you moaned head tipped back onto his shoulder, “Krennic…” “I knew you wanted me, Y/N, but like this?” His fingers moved through your wetness, teasing your entrance for a moment, and making you shudder, moaning his name again. “I can see that desire in your eyes wasn’t lying…” Krennic was smirking again as he watched you react to his fingertips, dragging them back towards your clit, “How many times have you been this wet around me, hmm? How many times have you thought of me doing this? Do you touch yourself and think about me? Is that what you do?” “Y-Yes-” Your thoughts were hardly coherent at this point, and as soon as his fingers touched your clit again, in teasing circles, you cried out; “Oh, Krennic, please!” “What else do you do to yourself when you think about me, hm?” He put a little more pressure on your clit as he rubbed it, “What do you think about? Me touching you like this? Or me fucking you? What set you off, hmmm? All that water-cooler chat? Believe me I know what they say... How would you like me to do it, Y/N? Do you want me to try to be gentle, or do you want it rough?” As if you really cared; your body shuddered again and you attempted to help the friction by closing your thighs once more, ache becoming a throb. “Uh uh.” His foot jammed between yours and forced your legs to widen for him, “I don’t like cheaters, Y/N.” You moaned once more as those little circles got faster and rougher, “Please, please! Krennic I’m begging you…” You whined, and your voice shook as you could feel that pleasure building, he couldn’t stop now. You wouldn’t let him, “Do whatever you want to me… just fuck me.” He nipped the top of your ear this time, “The pleasure will be all mine.” This time as the lightning flashed it illuminated your body, and Krennic was right, your dips and curves were flawless, you looked ready for him, you felt ready for him… like you were made for this very moment. Krennic moved his fingertips faster - and this time he pushed his body into yours. Your gasp at his grind into you was for one obvious reason; you could feel how hard he was getting. Oh, fuck... Your body shuddered once more and you mewled, positive that you were even wetter now. He knew it too, by that chuckle. “Oh? You want me don’t you? I know you know how wet you are… You want me so fucking bad…” That husky whisper was driving you crazy and you knew Krennic wasn’t going to let up on it, “You feel so hot, so fuckable… Oh, Y/N, I can’t wait to be inside you, but you’ll have to wait for that.” This time your groan was a little strangled, “That’s it, be a good girl… cum for me.”
If it wasn’t what he was doing to you it was his voice alone that sent that shot of pleasure right through you, burning head to toe with no mercy. You cried out again, but this time it was his first name you used - and you hoped he didn’t care. Panting as you felt the sweat begin to gather on your skin. Your legs shook a little but he held you strong. “Good girl.” He removed his fingertips from your clit, once again pressing a kiss to your neck, “But, you know as well as I that this is hardly over…” You rested your body against his chest for a minute, and he carded his fingers through your hair; it was almost soothing as Krennic twisted it between his fingers, “How about we use the bed now, hmm?”
“…Y…Yes…” You could only hazily agree, would he actually fuck you now? You were throbbing again - sure he’d said he wanted to be inside you, but did he know how much you needed him inside you? “Go on,” Krennic pushed you forward with his hand to the small of your back, you stumbled a little but didn’t fall and he observed your walk, the curves of your ass - the lingering of your arousal on your thighs. “Hands down.” He followed you across the floor - he was aware of how uncomfortable he felt, with heat in just the right places, and the way his pulse was running just to look at you. But he had to take this slow. The goal wasn’t just to bed you, it was to erase every other man from your memory too, so that he was your one and only waking thought.
You had to admit your confusion, but placed your hands out on the sheets in front of you to support your body, Krennic made you keep your feet on the floor and for a second you wondered if this was how he was going to do it. It seemed like a waste of a good bed, but your brain was hardly running your feelings here and that throb between your legs was so desperate for something that you didn’t care how you got it. Instead of hearing him shed clothing, or even just undo his zipper, Krennic’s fingers ran your spine. He really was about to commit every inch of you to memory, you weren’t kidding, before he traced them over your ass. You were half expecting him to slap you, but that didn’t happen either. In fact his fingers went right back to your wetness, and you shivered again; Krennic’s movements this time were less teasing as he pushed his fingers into you; you cried out - he didn’t even bother with one at a time. But at least there was something dulling that ache for a second; although you knew what your body really craved. The storm illuminated everything in the room, and far more regularly than before, as his fingers pumped in and out of you. The hums he was making were satisfied, and part of you wished you could see what they looked like crossing his face. In fact the thought that you might not get to see his face almost disappointed you. But you realised something else, the colours the storm were throwing everywhere, the very sound of it - with how much you enjoyed them anyway - and Krennic here with you, was only serving to turn you on even more. And he noticed. “Oh?” This sounded almost curious, “So lightning makes you even more wet, or is that just me?” You swallowed hard, against the feeling of his fingers stretching you, you were desperate for him to get naked now. “To… be honest, no-one has ever fucked me in a lightning storm.” “Huh. Maybe they should have tried, I figure they’re missing out.” You whined again, “Krennic please… please… I can’t take much more of this… fuck, I… I need you.”
You weren’t sure if Krennic did it because he was listening to your plea, or if he was simply just ready to do it himself, but the next thing you knew he’d removed his fingers from you and flipped your body so you were now on your back, on the bed. And as your eyes locked with his you realised exactly what you would have been missing out on. Although serious, those eyes were so incredibly dark and lust rimmed, and hungry for your body, that you thought you might come undone again right then and there. He placed his thumb delicately against your lips for a second, tracing them, before smirking again, “Open your mouth.” You blinked, but finding no reason not to do what he asked, your lips parted, tongue grazing his fingertip. Krennic immediately smirked, “That’s a good girl.” Before he slid the two fingers that had just been inside you, into your mouth. You moaned gently at the sensation. “I bet you taste so good, don’t you?” You could feel yourself blushing again, unsure exactly how to respond to that besides another muffled moan. He withdrew them, eyes narrowed even though he was smiling.
“And you do exactly what I say…” Krennic drew himself back to height, dragging his eyes down your body and as he did so he reached up to his shoulders, undoing the fastenings for his cape. Oh, you were going to get to watch Krennic undress? You moved to help him, but his eyes raised back to your face - and this time the bright white flash made those eyes of crystal blue let you know that he wanted you to stay absolutely still. “You look ready for me darling. Are you?” You nodded, hoping that the look on your face was as pleading as you thought it was. “Born ready for me…” Krennic’s voice this time sent chills through you with how commanding it was, “Mine.” You watched the cape fall to the floor and wished again for that silky texture to brush against your skin, perhaps you would ask him again later. He undid his tunic and shrugged himself out of it; Krennic wasn’t exactly bothering to put on a show for you - but it still felt like one, running his hands through his hair with a breath out before he undid his shirt. Slower now, button by button as he looked into your eyes, that little teasing smile on his face only made your lips part. This man was so gorgeous. And you were here, in his quarters, in his bed. You out of the many hundreds of women on this Battle Station - and all of them beautiful - Director Orson Krennic wanted you. He threw his shirt behind him too, before settling his hands on his waistband. You studied him for just long enough, he was built more toned than chiselled, and his arms and chest were particularly defined; there was a scar on his left-hand side, just above his heart, and you wondered what the story was with that. Maybe in a quieter moment you would ask, but that was not a story for right now. You traced back to where his fingers were waiting for you to take him all in and this time you bit your lip, you’d already felt him against you but you still weren’t sure you were adequately prepared… Undoing his zip with as much tease as his buttons Krennic let his pants and boxers fall at the same time. Your eyes widened, and you swallowed hard ‘Oh, holy shit...’ Your heartbeat picked up pace and you felt yourself clench greedily just at the sight of him. You bit your lip a little harder and raised your eyes back up Krennic’s body to his face, “I want to let you know - although it sounds like you do know - that every single one of those rumours is SO fucking true.” He smirked, “I might have started one or two of them myself.” You almost laughed, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” He gave a shrug, “Well darling, don’t we all want to project the best version of ourselves?” Krennic joined you on the bed, settling himself between your thighs again, pulling your legs around him, “Now I’m going to prove the rest of them true, whilst also letting you in on some things you don’t know.”
You had every right to moan as loud as you did as he pushed into you, feeling completely filled right away. Definitely true - part of you felt you might be smirking very broadly into your coffee in the mornings from now on. Instead of covering your body Krennic stayed in that kneeling position with your legs crossed behind him, hands gripping your thighs and nails digging into your skin. You almost wanted his nails to leave marks, for there to be bruises that lingered for more than just a few days where he gripped you - just to prove it had really happened. If this is a dream please don’t ever let me wake up. He growled as you adjusted to each other, voice husky once more, “You’re so tight.” Your sigh came out a little choked with your breathing as - at first - he moved slow, hands gilding softly over your skin as he lay his palms flat. But he still had enough pressure on you; Krennic was still in control. Right now, being in control was the last thing you were thinking of.
Those slow movements of his were a facade, but they had you already moaning - body tingling as you got used to the feelings of Krennic being inside you. You wondered if you should be trying to be quiet? How many other senior officers had rooms around Krennic’s that could potentially hear this - did Krennic even care? What if they knew it was you though? You weren’t necessarily sure you wanted the reputation that might come with being Krennic’s bed mate, even if it really was only going to be tonight. As if he knew what you were thinking Krennic pushed into you a little harder, causing you to cry out a little louder than before - no point in holding back. “Let me hear you, Y/N. Let me hear those delicious little moans of yours. You can be as loud as you want here, I won’t tell anyone…” He smirked, “You might as well let yourself - because this is going to be the best orgasm of your life, or it’s going to be nothing. I don’t do half measures.” That seemed like an odd form of encouragement, but hot enough to get you mewling again. And he didn’t slow his pace. Instead Krennic dug his nails back into your skin, thrusting into you harder and rougher. You arched your back up, pushing your hips into his to take him deeper and deeper. Usually you weren’t so loud during sex, but with your eyes closed to the ecstasy of it all, each thrust received a moan that steadily grew louder and louder until you were pleading him: “Oh, Krennic… Oh please, more… Harder, Sir, please… please don’t stop…” This was clearly only urging him on as he found another notch in his pace. You might be one for thinking this was the best sex you’d ever had as you opened your eyes to focus on him once more; Krennic’s skin was starting to get that dewy look as sweat started to build, leaving his hair to look a darker shade of grey. And that lightning… oh, that lightning. Watching that storm behind him made the pleasure even more intense. The backdrop was stunning to an already flawless view - what more could you possibly ask for?
His sex was deliciously rough, and it was all you could do to watch his body, the way his muscles moved with each thrust, the tension running from his shoulders, down his arms, through his fingers and the little indents from his nails you could see in your skin. You almost wanted those fingers back inside you again too. Krennic growled as that thought led to you clenching around him: “What are you thinking about?” You looked to his face, obviously you were already flushed, but if it were possible to turn a deeper shade of red you were now. “...Please…” You voice wavered and you realised where this was all heading, “Please Krennic harder… Please I want to- I want to- let me cum for you.” That smirk was just plain dirty, and as he placed one hand under you to raise your hips a little more his next thrust found your sweet spot. You cried out even louder - hit with a shot of pleasure more intense than any you thought you’d ever felt. “Fuck-! Director-! Please!” He chuckled, “I have a first name, Y/N, you can use it.” Did he want you to use it? Did he ask everyone he took to bed to use it? You gasped again as white-hot heat shot through you head to toe and your legs locked around him, pulling him even deeper as you tipped your head back. And he knew as well as you did: “That’s a good girl, that’s my good girl.” Krennic continued to thrust into you until you had to squeeze your eyes shut, head tipped back you very nearly screamed his first name as your body shook and you came undone.
 Your short, sharp pants didn’t really have any time to become afterglow, or some slow paced ‘love making’ for him to ride into his own high. Oh no, Krennic wasn’t finished with you yet - and although he lingered at a slower pace for a little - you could feel yourself building up again, heightened by the climax you had just felt. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes and you got the feeling that Krennic was not about to be termed a selfish lover. But a possessive one; your body was his, and he wasn’t finished with you yet. You cried out as he took that pace up again, you could feel him getting harder inside you, every little twitch as he continued those rough thrusts. “You ready for more?” You nodded weakly, moaning again, this would be the third time in one evening. Even if these two were in quick succession. “Yes what?” The commanding tone in his voice and the way he squeezed your thighs a little harder made you shake again, “Yes, Orson. Please… please, baby… I- I’m ready.” As you said his name this time Krennic pushed his body forward so that his hands rested above your shoulders, catching your lips in a harsh kiss. Your hands immediately shot to his arms, over those toned shoulders, and your fingers tangled in his hair. This time his kisses swallowed your moans, and the higher in pitch they got the more he knew you were ready to let go again. With him all over you like this, the scent of that cologne filled your senses. Krennic thrusted into you one last time and let you cry out into his shoulder. He could probably go a little longer - but he’d build you up to that in due time, he couldn’t ruin you on your first time with him. As you clenched around him, just as greedily as before, Krennic growled - hot breath in your ear as your own ecstasy became his. And now you were his too.
He let you continue to embrace him as you both panted, moving his own hands to gently caress your sides, your stomach and your thighs. Although the only sound was your breathing, and you could barely think of anything else, hands carding through his hair and watching those beautiful blue eyes focus on nothing in particular. Until the lighting strike flashed closer to you than before, causing him to look out the window. You followed his line of sight. “It really is gorgeous…” You weren’t sure if that muse was supposed to come out of Krennic’s mouth, but it made you smile. “Mhm… And I need to have sex in storms more often.” He chuckled, turning back to you and kissing your neck, softly, “Well, you know who to call.” Krennic pulled out of you gently, smirking again to see yours and his arousal lingering on your inner thighs. His. Before he lay next to you, eyes still on the storm.
You wondered what the best thing to do now was, as your high unwound. Ironically you didn’t think your body had been this relaxed in a while either. Should you leave? Should you make the decision to leave him before he kicked you out himself? You wondered if that was the polite thing to do. You didn’t know if Krennic was the type to really sleep with someone. When he would be at his most vulnerable. You weren’t sure he would want to show that side of himself to anyone. You decided you would show willing, and would let him know that you would leave if that’s what Krennic wanted - you weren’t about to outstay your welcome. Instead, Krennic did the unexpected and, finally settling down in the sheets, he pulled you into his arms, showering you with delicate kisses and touches. Aftercare... You snuggled into his body, sighing in sleepy content and closed your eyes as he pulled the sheets further around you. Did you dare believe this was happening - No, and yet it was. You were really here, in the Director’s arms. And he wanted you to stay. Krennic pressed a kiss to your forehead, and you could already feel yourself drifting off in his arms: “We’ll review your report in the morning.” *** When you awoke, the lights in his room were up to their brightest day setting. Krennic’s free hand was wandering over your thighs absentmindedly as he lay on his back, your datapad in his other. You tried to concentrate on that small smile on his face, those blue eyes of his, just how good he looked comfortable and relaxed, and out of uniform. You hadn’t noticed the collection of freckles across his chest in the dark of the storm last night either. Suddenly you wanted this moment to last forever, no matter now impossible. This coupled with the travel of his hands, even at this time in the morning, was making you sigh blissfully.
Krennic’s eyes flicked from what he was reviewing to your face as he turned his head slowly. “This report is good. Perfect, even. The ion storm messed with some systems last night, that can’t be helped. But we should all be back online to work later. I agree with your data, consider it reviewed.” Your head tipped curiously. “Systems are down? So…” You bit your lip wickedly, “We don’t have to leave?” Krennic placed your datapad on his bedside table and rolled over, hand moving to between your thighs, he could read that mischievous little smirk of yours perfectly. “Not until much later if I have anything to say about it.” You blinked once slowly, opting to voice your single concern now, before anything got out of hand, it was a whisper that seemed so out of place. But maybe that made it the perfect time. “I don’t want to be just a one-time thing.” Krennic’s eyebrows knitted for a second, before he smiled gently, other hand moving to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb before he tangled his fingers in your hair, bringing you back to his lips. “Trust me, that was never a consideration.”
---
Thank you SO much for reading, oh my gosh I’m slightly emotional over this one. I NEVER thought it’d be this long. And it’s 200. Like... there’s 200 of these things!? 
I didn’t think I would get past one. And it’s ALL because of you guys! 
Thank you for all your love and support - I know I keep saying it but I truly mean it. It means the world to me. 💙💜
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Only Growing | Five Hargreeves
✦ pairing — Five Hargreeves x Plus Size Reader
✦ word count — 2.6k
✦ summary — Five and you get a second chance. Like everything with The Hargreeves, it’s more complicated than it sounds.
✦ warnings — angst, spoilers for season 2 (the story doesn’t follow canon, though), mentions of violence, mentions of food, language, fluff.
✦ a/n — the brief text in italics is a flashback.
❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎
You were used to silence. Diego had never been one for staying home doing nothing. Sometimes he would leave you a note that said not to wait up for him if you were lucky, but you never had the pleasure to get home from work and have your boyfriend there.
Ex-boyfriend now. He had found himself someone else. Years had passed for him when a mere day went by for you.
You had been a fool, thinking things would finally go your way. Ever since Five disappeared, life proved you time after time how unlucky you were.
Nonetheless, you understood. No one had understood Diego better than you had, it was the reason why your relationship had lasted.
Diego hadn’t been a dick about it. He offered to give you time, reminded you to get closer to your best friend, and apologized for something that hadn’t been his fault.
He had said, “Talk to Five.” If only it was that easy. Five hadn’t visited you yet — according to Luther, who had driven Diego to your place so he could pack his things and introduce you to his new girlfriend, Five needed to take care of something first.
It was no secret that you would do anything for Five. Certainly not to Diego who many times had reproached you for missing his brother so intensely to the point of neglecting him.
You loved Diego, how couldn’t you? But you had never been capable of hiding how much you missed Five. Just like you weren’t capable of hiding how much seeing him with someone else hurt.
He had promised he would never leave and days later you had watched him carry his belongings to the doorstep with another woman by his side.
Now you were forced to fall asleep in a silent bedroom at a house too big for one person.
Woken up by incessant knocking on the front door, you grumpily walked down the stairs. Every single one of your acquaintances knew your schedule was hectic so you weren’t expecting any of them.
Swinging the door open, you were greeted by a tall man. His green eyes shined as he buried his hands in his pockets.
You didn’t understand why he was expecting you to speak first, or how a man could have such soft-looking hair.
Shaking the latter thought off, you asked, “Can I help you?”
“It’s me.”
“That... doesn’t answer my question.”
He sighed loudly. “I’m Five, you idiot.”
You crossed your arms. “Oh, yeah? And I’m a Nobel Laureate.”
“Ask me something only Five Hargreeves would know.”
You glanced past his shoulder, making sure there was no one nearby. “What’s the last thing I told you before you left back when we were kids?”
He lowered his head. “That you needed me.”
”You can’t attempt traveling through time! What if something goes wrong?”
Five shook his head. “I’m not stupid. Everything will go smoothly.”
You weren’t stupid either. Many things could go wrong. He could get lost, he could ruin the timeline, he could exhaust himself to the point of death...
“Five, please. I need you here with me,” your voice broke.
You couldn’t decipher the look he gave you. A blue flash of light blurred with your tears.
You dropped your arms and stepped to the side to let him in. “Why didn’t you use your powers?”
“I didn’t want to startle you,” he yelled from the kitchen.
You followed the sound of his voice. Some things never changed, it seemed. He was hovering over the coffee machine, tapping his thumbs against the counter.
“Since when do you care about scaring me?”
“Since my stupid brother taught you self-defense.”
You rolled your eyes, tugging the fridge door open. “You’re a trained assassin.”
“We both know I would never hurt you.”
Well, thank God. You would’ve been dead decades ago if he was willing to hurt you more than he had already.
Changing the subject, you poured yourself a glass of orange juice. “How come you look like that now?”
“Should I be offended?”
“You looked like a teen a few days ago,” you defended yourself.
Five’s semblance softened. “I guess one of the things we did to mess the timeline worked in my favor.”
“You ruined the timeline?”
“A little bit.”
Sensing he didn’t want to talk about it, you dropped bread into the toaster.
He offered you some coffee, but you declined. The last thing you needed was getting more anxious than you were already.
Five tilted his head. With a sigh, he put the cup down and opened his arms. “Come here.”
He didn’t have to tell you twice. His willingness to give affection didn’t come easy, and your eagerness for his attention had always been constant.
Arms around him, you rested your head on his shoulder. Five rubbed your tense back with one hand, pulling you closer with his other arm.
You squeezed him tight, trying your best to keep your tears in.
❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎
Five had always persuaded you to do anything he wanted. Never something that would put you in danger although on some occasions you had gotten hurt by accident, but always things you wouldn’t do if it weren’t for him.
Attending one of his family reunions was one of those things. But he had asked nicely.
He had said it would be something casual, you wouldn’t have to stay for too long. He just needed someone beside him to ground him in case a fight broke out.
Once you were ready, he dropped the book he had been reading onto your coffee table and offered his hand.
You took it without even thinking about it, giving him a squeeze to assure him you were ready to teleport.
Your stomach flipped at first. An underlying tickling appeared in the lower area of your abdomen. His powers had always had that effect on you, and you had missed the sensation deeply.
Not having visited The Academy since Five disappeared, you found yourself in awe of how little it had changed.
“How are you not throwing up right now?”Allison asked, pulling you into a hug.
“She had enough training as a kid,” Five answered for you, carefully dropping your hand.
Klaus giggled. “I forgot you two sneaked everywhere together.”
As you parted from Allison, you shared a look with Five. You had always thought it was a well-kept secret that every time you felt sad or Five had a nightmare he would sneak into your room or sneak you into his.
You hugged Klaus next, then Vanya. Luther was in the kitchen, Diego and Lila in the living room.
Greeting your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend as warmly as you were capable of, you took a seat next to Five.
Seeing Diego with Lila didn’t hurt. Not like you imagined it would. His demeanor had changed from what you could tell, he looked calmer, happier. You were glad, the people you loved and their happiness were important for your own wellbeing.
In fact, you were more than glad. The Hargreeves siblings seemed to have gotten closer, their bickering was only that now — Luther was more open, warmer; Vanya participated in conversations, finally smiling around her family.
Five looked comfortable, too. Laughing loudly at Klaus’ antics. His eyes shined as he turned to look at you, laughter still intact. You couldn’t help but join him.
“Five,” Allison called for her brother, “my car broke. Can you take me home?”
He searched for your acknowledgment and held your gaze, twisting his mouth upward. You blinked slowly, assuring him you could handle it. Five gave you a sharp nod, standing up in a quick motion.
Diego refilled your glass. “You’ve got a shot with Five now...”
You let out a shaky breath. “Don’t tell him anything, please.”
“He deserves to know.”
You knew he did. His shock when he found out you were daring Diego had kept you up for days.
Five’s arrival saved you from saying anything else. He fixed his hair as he sat back down next to you, glaring at Diego who had still been staring at you, waiting for a good explanation.
You didn’t have one.
❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎
The TV in the living room was on when you got home from work. Laying on the couch, hands tucked under his cheek, you found Five fast asleep.
He hadn’t told you he would visit. He must’ve dropped by impromptu.
Covering him with the blanket he had tossed to the side, you muted the TV. He would probably need the light when he woke up to go to the bathroom.
He grabbed your hand before you could leave. Wincing, you whispered, “Go back to sleep.”
“How was work?” He sleepily asked.
“We can talk in the morning. Get some rest.”
“Did you have a good day?”
Desperate for Five to get a few more hours of sleep, you nodded.
He didn’t let go of your hand, curling up on the couch. Whispering his name, you shook your wrist so he’d loosen his grip.
He mumbled something, but you didn’t understand what it was. His face was red, eyes glued to the ceiling.
“Mmmh?” you prompted him to say it again.
“I needed you with me too.”
You kneeled on the rug, resting your chin on the arm of the couch. “You could’ve taken me with you.”
Scoffing, Five shifted on the couch to sit up. He let go of your hand, burying his fingers in his hair, tossing the dark locks to one side as he gripped them.
“You don’t know what you’re saying. You weren’t there. You didn’t watch everyone you love lying dead at your feet.”
“I had to lose you,” you reminded him, “and my parents in the span of two years.”
He whistled by mistake as he inhaled.
You didn’t let him speak. “I lived through hell staying with my uncle, you know how much he hated me. And I hated college but it was better than staying with people who blamed me for my mother’s death.”
“And then you chose Diego.”
“What does Diego have to do with anything?!”
“The last thing you said to me was that you needed me, but you still moved on.”
Calling it moving on was an insult. You had been willing to put your life on hold in case he came back, to be alone until he miraculously appeared one day and filled the void.
That was what lead you to Diego. Both of you were aware of the reason why you attracted the other — it hurt at times, not having your partner all for yourself, but you couldn’t complain when you weren’t completely his.
“You think I didn’t wait for you?” You chuckled bitterly. “Five, I swore we would get married and have a perfect life. But everything is easier at thirteen.”
He mocked you, “Oh, and you thought Diego would give you the perfect life you wanted?”
“No!” you yelled. “I just... I woke up, I guess.”
Five turned to his side to look at you. “Fall asleep again.”
“Five...”
“Do it. I’ll make it right this time.”
Your voice betrayed you by breaking. “What if you have to disappear again?”
He squeezed his eyes closed. For once, Five didn’t have an answer to your inquires, not even a sarcastic one.
You sniffed.
“Hey, hey,” he cooed, placing his hands on top of yours. “Don’t cry, please. I hate seeing you like this.
You twisted your hands so your palms would be against his, fingers finding their way between his nimble ones. “I don’t want to go through all of that again.”
“I’ll take you with me if I have to,” he promised, dropping his head on top of yours.
He just wanted to stay there, inhaling the scent of your perfume. Five felt safe with your hands in his, actually safe — he could close his eyes and not worry about horrendous flashbacks,
You were there with him, not dead on the ground next to his siblings. He caressed the back of your hand with his thumb, drawing circles on your soft skin.
“My knees hurt.”
Laughing softly, he moved away from you so you could stand up.
Five followed you with his eyes, twisting his body as you sat down beside him, rubbing your palms against your knees.
You gazed at him with watery eyes, bringing your hand to his face, tracing his jaw. God, you used to annoy him when you were kids, telling him he looked ugly every time he clenched it.
Smiling at the memory, you felt the movement of his muscles as he mirrored your smile.
“You still have dimples,” you told him, removing your hand so you could look at him properly.
He hurried to take your hand again, palm against the back of yours as he gripped it.
“Aren’t you tired?”
“You’re avoiding giving me an answer,” he observed, grip tightening around your hand.
You shook your head effusively. “It’s no secret I would follow you to the end of the world. Literally.”
“But this...” Five breathed out, “this is more than that, (Name).”
“You can’t even say it,” you mused, “and here I am, willing to give you everything I have and more.”
With his free hand, he cupped your cheek. “Don’t be stupid. It’s mutual, and I have no problem with expressing the way I feel.”
“What did you mean by ‘more than that’, then? Do you fear for my safety?”
“No.” He quickly rectified, “I do worry about your safety, but I’m capable of keeping both of us safe. I meant... things beyond being in danger and getting worried. That’s easy for us.”
You nodded against his warm palm, sensing he had more to say.
”I want normal things for us, good things. I don’t know how well I will do. I need you to know that, to be okay with me.”
It was like seeing that thirteen-year-old again, desperate to have the approval of his authority figure.
“I’ve been in love with you since I was ten,” you confessed through a breathy laugh. “You were insufferable, but I didn’t care. I’ve always been okay with you, even when you were an asshole to me.”
“I was trying to get your attention.”
“I know that now.”
His eyes, full of emotion, focused on yours. You didn’t care if he wanted to make sure you weren’t lying, taking offense would’ve been dismissing everything he had gone through.
His eyes fell onto your lips. “Should I...”
“If you want.”
Bumping your nose as he dove in, he caught your lips between his in a clumsy kiss. You held the back of his head with your free hand, pulling him closer.
He let you guide him, getting more confident as he went on. You tilted your head to the other side, sliding your hand off his to place it on his shoulder.
Before pulling away, you gave him short kisses. Feeling him smile against your lips had to be the best thing in the world.
Suddenly, he remembered, “Hey, did you eat anything for dinner?”
“No...” Before he could chastise you or complain, you asked, “Do you want a sandwich?”
“Sure.”
You gave him a final short kiss. “Pick a movie, yeah? Whichever you want.”
“God, I love you.”
Five’s love for you had only grown throughout all those years. Thinking about the time you had spent together as kids kept him going; it had been a bittersweet coping mechanism.
Nothing compared to his love for you growing with you there.
He didn’t know how he had survived without the swelling in his chest upon watching you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from across the room while he waited for you to press play on the first movie he found.
He only knew he would never let go of it.
362 notes · View notes
protecticarus · 3 years
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Hi! I just wanted to say that I love your fics, they’re absolutely amazing. Anyway... bit of an odd request but can I get an angsty fic where Dirk realizes he’s in love with Todd? (and proceeds to do nothing about it) The amount that I kin Dirk might be a little concerning, and the amount that I associate my best friend of four years with Todd (and they agree) might be a bit concerning. Especially since I just figured out... whoops, I’m in love with them! (and let me tell you it HURTS) I’m almost 100% sure feel the same they’re just not at an emotionally stable point for me to tell them. (you know, much like Todd) So I know it seems a bit silly and weird, but I think it might help me cope a bit to see Dirk in a similar situation, feel less alone
hi anon! i’m sorry you’re stuck in such a complicated situation. i hope it all works out in the end. i can definitely relate to dealing with things by reading about a similar experiences and relating to fictional characters a little too hard. just remember that what you’re feeling is valid and no pain is permanent. x
i hope this does the trick!
~
The tv screen flickered between a diverse selection of images, the sound cutting off well before a full phrase could be heard.
“I regret the day I taught you how to use the remote.” Todd told his friend from the kitchen.
“What on earth for?” Dirk absent-mindedly replied while switching the channel, yet again. He had already kicked off his shoes and was now comfortably lounging on Todd’s couch.
Todd rolled his eyes. “Definitely not because you switch the channel about 187 times a minute.” He replied.
Dirk scoffed. “Poppycock.”
“God, you’re so British.” Todd murmured. “Just pick a channel, Dirk.” He added, louder.
“Fine!” Dirk said and lifted his finger off the button. “There’s some sort of apocalypse film on, we can watch that?” He added after he registered the image of a large fire on the screen.
Todd poked his head out of the kitchen long enough to see the screen. “Hate to break it to you, Dirk, but that’s the news.” He said.
Dirk’s eyes widened. “Bloody hell!” He exclaimed.
“Yeah, the world’s going to shit. Pick something else.” Todd told him.
“You just told me to stop changing the ch-“
“Just pick something other than the news, Dirk, Jesus.” Todd interrupted.
Finally after a few more channel jumps, Dirk settled on a rerun episode of Friends.
Soon, Todd sat down next to him on the couch and handed him a cup. “Here.”
Dirk furrowed his brows. “What’s this?” He asked.
“Your tea.” Todd said, already focusing on the tv.
“You made me tea?” Dirk asked.
“Yeah, you usually drink tea at this time of day, right?” Todd replied, his eyes never leaving the screen.
“Y-Yes, I suppose I do.” Dirk replied. He had no idea that Todd had taken notice of his tea drinking habits. “What kind of tea is it?” Dirk asked.
Todd scoffed. “That one- you know, your favorite one.” He replied.
Dirk lifted the cup to his face and sniffed. It was indeed his favorite tea. “You know what my favorite tea is?”
Todd finally turned to look at him, with an amused expression on his face. “Yeah, of course. You drink it all the time.” He said and turned back towards the tv.
Dirk just turned to stare into his tea. “Thank you.” He said quietly.
“Sure.” Mumbled Todd, like it was no big deal.
But it was to Dirk.
The only time another person had made Dirk tea was when he ordered it from a barista in a coffee shop. And then he had to specifically instruct them to make it the way he liked it. But here was Todd, knowing this about Dirk, just by paying attention. By caring enough to take notice.
Dirk lifted the cup to his lips in an attempt to hide his growing smile. Todd had made him tea.
As Dirk took his first sip of the tea, he turned his eyes toward Todd, who was still watching the tv. The tea was a little weaker than Dirk himself made it and still a little too hot to really enjoy but... It was made by Todd. For Dirk.
Despite all his claims of being an asshole, Todd’s affection for those he cared about was clear as day in the little things he did. It was one of the reasons Dirk loved him.
Dirk spit some of his tea back into the cup, shocked by his own train of thought. Todd turned to look at him.
“Ew.” Said Todd. “Is it bad?” He asked.
“No! No, not at all.” Dirk hurried to reply. “Just hot.” He added.
“Oh, okay. Let it cool down.” Todd said and turned back toward the tv.
“Good idea.” Dirk said, his attention already far away from the conversation.
Obviously by ‘one of the reasons he loved Todd’ Dirk had meant ‘one of the things he loved about Todd.’ There was a clear distinction between the two. You can love things about a person without loving the person.
As soon he’d tried to tell himself this, Dirk knew the truth. He loved Todd. And not just that, oh no. He loved Amanda and Farah, sure. But he loved Todd. He was in love with Todd.
Dirk felt the sudden urge to list all the swear words he knew - which would be an extensive list - but he decided against it, as he didn’t feel like explaining this course of action to Todd.
Dirk felt dumb. How could he not have realized this before now? Clearly it was not a new development. He felt the exact same way about Todd that he had prior to this day. The same way he had felt about him for a while. Only now he knew what it was.
He would have liked to pretend he was mistaken, chalk it up to not having previous experience with being in love, but Dirk knew better. If you’d asked him a year ago what being in love felt like, he’d have shrugged his shoulders and replied with something along the lines of ‘I haven’t the slightest clue!’ and go on about his day.
But now? He knew exactly what that particular emotion was.
It was the warm tidal wave in his stomach whenever Todd laughed at something he said. It was the sudden burning in his cheeks when Todd touched him. It was the rib-cracking pain when Todd was hurt or in danger. It was the ineffable pull he felt coming from Todd, constantly begging for Dirk to come just a little bit closer.
Dirk had never given much thought to the popular idea that when you’re in love, you just know. It was incredibly cheesy. Yet, as it turns out, surprisingly accurate.
Dirk fought the urge to groan out loud. This had not been part of his plan. The plan was: befriend Todd, start a detective agency with Todd and work with Todd. That was it. Much like the little girl with the red cape from that morbid children’s story Todd had told him about, Dirk had strayed far from the assigned path.
In so many ways, Dirk was eccentric. He had never fit any ready-made mold, he had never fit any stereotype. And now here he was. In love with his best friend. What a cliché.
Dirk’s bitter musings were suddenly interrupted by a loud laugh coming from the man next to him. Dirk turned his attention to Todd, who seemed to be thoroughly amused by a woman with a turkey on her head dancing on the tv screen.
Todd’s laugh was like music to Dirk’s ears. His stupid, predictable ears.
Dirk too tried to focus on the screen rather than Todd’s side profile, only to witness the turkey-headed woman’s shock at her companion telling her he loved her by accident. It was clearly the first time she heard this confession and the man immediately tried to backtrack and deny ever having said those three words in the first place. Nevertheless, she seemed elated at this revelation. She kept repeating ‘you love me, you love me’ excitedly.
Dirk turned his attention back to the object of his affection. For a moment he imagined what Todd’s reaction would be to hearing those words from Dirk.
He’d like to imagine that Todd would react somewhat similarly to how the woman had on the show. Surprised, but overtly happy. Dirk’s eyes suddenly felt incredibly warm. He turned his gaze at the ceiling, hoping to will the tears not to leave his eyes.
He knew his feelings would not be greeted with overt happiness. A small part of him dared to believe that Todd wouldn’t be utterly disgusted by Dirk’s feelings for him. An even smaller part of him almost sort of entertained the idea that Todd might reciprocate. But Dirk also knew that even if those things would somehow be true, they would not change the outcome.
Todd was a mess. A mess Dirk loved dearly, but a mess nonetheless. Todd still believed himself to be an asshole, tightly wound in a web of self-hatred. Amanda was still giving him the silent treatment. He had yet to come clean with his parents about the lie he’d been living. He was still getting used to said lie actually becoming reality, one pararibulitis attack at a time. His apartment still showed signs of the Rowdies’ visit all those months ago, a fact that wouldn’t get taken care of until they started making more steady money at the agency. And then there was the agency. It was up and running, but still in its early stages, still finding its legs.
No matter how he might feel, Todd was in no place to hear that his best friend was in love with him. Dirk was one of the only stable pieces of the crooked Jenga tower that was Todd’s life. Dirk didn’t dare to think what would happen if he were to compromise that structural piece. It wouldn’t be fair to Todd. He needed a friend right now.
Dirk felt like in the span of about five minutes, everything he knew had been turned upside down, yet he ended up in the same place he started at. Turns out he was in love with Todd, but this would and could not affect his actions in any way.
Dirk felt a new flavor of sadness settle on his tongue. He loved Todd, but Todd could not know. Dirk loved him, but it could not be acknowledged outside of his own head.
Suddenly Dirk felt like he might burst with the way deep longing clawed at his chest.
But as he watched Todd, smiling and comfortable on the couch next to Dirk, he decided this was a good thing, not a bad one.
Dirk might have to prioritize being Todd’s friend over his less than platonic feelings for him, but he was more than willing to do that. For Todd.
Love, in all its forms, was a good thing. And Dirk had a lot of it. He might not be able to put it into words, but much like Todd himself, Dirk could let it bleed into the things he did. He could be there for Todd, and love him, without saying so. He could love Todd, even if he never said so.
After all, Todd deserved to be loved, even if he didn’t know it yet. But Dirk would make sure that he would know. Eventually.
“Dirk, drink your tea before it gets cold, I’m not getting up to make you a new one.” Todd said suddenly.
Dirk smiled and raised his cup to his lips again.
~
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