#i listened to a calming guided meditation which helped me calm down a bit and i kept repeating positive affirmations to myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rengokuswif3 · 2 years

Text

Demon Slayer Characters When Their S/O Has a Panic Attack

A/N: I suffer from panic attacks and have had a lot of them the past few days, so COMFORT CHARACTER TIME FOR ME

Warnings: Panic attacks, obviously. This is based off my own experience and others’ I’ve known

You cannot tell me this poor boy doesn’t have them too. If he starts thinking about his family, he can guilt himself into a panic attack. If he just survived a dangerous demon, he has them for the next couple days just getting over the shock

So when you have them, he knows exactly how to calm you down. He speaks very softly to you, and holds you to him and tells you to match his breathing. As soon as you calm down a bit more, he’ll ask you to list 3 things you see, 3 things you hear, and 3 things you physically feel to help ground you and help you focus

He understands panic attacks drain your energy like crazy, so he’ll take you to your room and lay with you to take a nap if you’d like. If you don’t want to sleep, then he’ll help you keep occupied by maybe playing some kind of board game

Okay, you’re gonna have to explain to him what a panic attack is and what NOT to do when you have one. Cause if you don’t, the first one you have around him is gonna be horrible. He’s gonna freak out too and not understand what’s happening and won’t know that his loudness and anger and chaos will make it even worse

He may not be known for being gentle and quiet, but he will learn for you cause he doesn’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable, scared or unsafe around him. So once he understands what these attacks are and how to help you, he will do it to the best of his ability. HE GETS YOU A WEIGHTED BOAR STUFFED ANIMAL THOUGH

When you do have one again, he’ll crouch down to your level and hold your hand, and he’ll ask you list 3 things you see, hear and feel which he learned from Tanjiro. Would have trouble taking it easy with you for the rest of the day just because he’s so restless, but would do it for you. Would also take you on hikes because exercise is actually really good to prevent them in the future

Immediately hushes his voice and speaks in a gentle tone as soon as he realizes what’s happening. He’s seen them before I’m scared civilians and traumatized swordsmen, he recognizes them easily and knows of them all too well. He probably used to deal with them himself when he was a bit younger until he learned to cope with them

He will boil you tea and sit with you quietly, saying sweet nothings to you to help you relax as you listen to his voice. He’s extremely warm to the touch, so cuddles with him totally help (lol sometimes a heating pad works for me for some reason?? Idk, I’ve personally never heard of someone else using them for panic attacks)

He’ll let you do his hair to keep your hands busy, and continue speaking with you to keep your mind busy. He’ll take you out for a peaceful scenic walk to clear your head, and the places he finds are beautiful so those walks help immensely. He also learns that telling you to focus on one item and list every possible thing about it helps you ground yourself, so he’ll grab any random thing next to him and go to you and tell you to do so

This man is PERFECT to help calm you down. He is all about being chill and relaxed and I can imagine his house just being really zen. Like he has those waterfall things, incense burning, maybe some candles, relaxing shamisen music, and a variety of teas on the counter

Is the type to kiss away your tears and hold you close. He may be a bit awkward but when it comes to your comfort, he will relax enough for it to be comfortable for you to hold onto him. You’ll slowly fall asleep in his arms, and he won’t move the whole time you’re asleep, just rubbing your back and kissing the top of your head as you rest

If you’re still shaken up and jittery when you wake up, he’ll bring the both of you chamomile or green tea to soothe your nerves, and he’ll do a guided meditation session with you as well. Then if you need to talk, he’ll silently listen attentively to everything you say and he never makes you feel bad about panicking over something, he only tries to help you put it in perspective so it doesn’t worry you so much

He’s pretty confused at first, he doesn’t sense any danger so he doesn’t understand why you’re so scared and sobbing all of a sudden. He comforts you nonetheless, he just is trying to figure out what’s happening as well

After you explain it to him, he still doesn’t fully understand cause he’s not the type to worry so much but he understands that you do and it affects you greatly

He is THE BEST SUBSTITUTE FOR A WEIGHTED BLANKET. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN. HE IS PERFECT. Will take you to hot springs as well which always help him relax so he has you try it. The hot water plus being with your love plus the beautiful scenery usually helps a lot

Was probably the cause of your first one around him tbh. He didn’t know what was happening at first and probably got angry until he saw just how panicked and terrified you were, then he softened up and immediately felt guilty. He’d crouch down to your level and slowly go to you, not wanting to scare you more as he apologizes and brings you into his arms

He’s a LOT more mindful after that, he never forgave himself for being the cause of that kind of fear in your eyes. You just looked absolutely miserable and it hurt him to see. So he’s a lot softer with you and learns to stop yelling so much, cause that’s not healthy in the first place but even worse with your condition

When you do have one, he’ll ask you to count how many scars he has to help you focus, and he’ll let you trace them with your fingers as well while counting them.

#also the fact my comfort characters from this show are SO DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER I CANT-#do I have a type??? yes #is it clear??? fuck no-#tanjiro kamado x reader #inosuke hashibira x reader #kyojuro rengoku x reader #giyu tomioka x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #tengen uzui x reader #sanemi shinaguzawa x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #kny

221 notes · View notes

all-that-tmnt-jazz · 6 months

Note

Hello! I was wondering if you're still opening match-ups? If you're not its okay! Im not forcing ya.

Im actually a female (Bi), an aries, my height is 5'4", i have short black hair, i wore a glasses (sometimes if i can't see afar) i wore dark clothes a lot.

i can speak chinese (a bit) and also japanese (a bit too) and ofc i can speak english.

im a actually a INFP, an introvert, polite, patient/calm person, if you met me im always shy and akward when i socialize people, (but people actually see me a quiet, distant and emotionless person, because i have trust issues). When you know me a lot, i might comfortable and might sometimes show my childish or playful behavour it depends on my mood. I'm actually having problems with my emotions/anger issues and decide to not show it to le people what i felt and so hid my emotions/feelings. (I suddenly emotionless when im depressed)

(Ps: im bad at lying)

I have a anxiety, whenever i felt uncomfortable sometimes easily get panicked.

Im also sensitive person, when someone shouted me, i would actually flinched/afraid or easily cried.

I actually hate loud noises or screaming/shouting, i easily get triggered or irrated and people staring at me (it makes me uncomfortable, also staring is rude)

I love listening some any music (a lot).

I love watching anime and ghibli movies.

I can play piano or violin.

I like to dancing waltz dance. (Still practicing).

I read books (which is arts and science and poetry) i like learning about Biologist.

I love to draw, when you see me drawing/doodling im kinda quickly hid it and shy to show it because my arts/drawing wasn't that good, it kinda looked like anime-ish(im also draw in digital).

I can do martial arts, i used it for self-defence or protecting my friends.

I like sleeping A LOT.

The way i give affections which is giving some hugs and kisses or even a head pat. (i also use it as comfort or i want to)

When it comes someone is having arguement with me, i dont want to say something horrible or hurtful words when i can't control my anger or temper, so its better that i say nothing and calmly walk away.

Hope it's okay for you, Thx! 🌸

Ps: your blog is cool and your stories too! 🐢💕

Hi! Okay so. I was kinda torn between two with your entry so I'm gonna put both and why.

Here we go :)

Leo

He loves watching Studio Ghibli movies with you.

(His favorite is "My Neighbor Totoro." He knows it's popular, but he gets it- it's a good movie)

He tries to understand your emotions to help you- he also has a bit of anger issues, but he's gotten a better handle on it than Raph.

He knows many types of meditations because of Splinter, so he offers to guide you through some to see if it helps.

He is proud that to avoid saying something hurtful, you just walk away- that is something that took him a while to learn.

Mikey stole your glasses once.

He never stole them twice.

(P.S You and Leo had both ganged up on Mikey)

Raph also yelled at you once.

He never did again.

(You had started crying, and Leo started to fight him- Splinter had to get involved)

Since he usually sleeps during the day, he doesn't get to sleep with you often.

But you do nap when you have time, so you always go to him to cuddle.

He never said this, but he loves it when you pat his head. He finds it adorable.

Donnie

Okay. "Ponyo." The best Ghibli movie.

(He will fight you on this.)

He's pretty into psychology, so he tries to break down your emotions- that way, both of you can figure out what's going on in your head.

He is also pretty into biology, so he loves talking to you about that and exchanging books about it.

He realized your glasses have a similar prescription as his

(He's also pretty blind.)

He mostly listens to study music and other similar genres, but he also loves hearing your music taste.

He learns a lot about people through what they like- especially through the arts (like music)

He finds it awesome that you're learning martial arts.

He offers to help you with some defensive moves since he knows that you're learning to protect yourself.

He is usually too tall for head pats, but he loves hugging you- your head always goes right next to his heart.

He is the one who helps with your anger the most because of that

You love that your head goes right next to his heart

It helps calm you down just as much as it does to him.

He has asked you to play piano/violin for him.

#tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt #tmnt bayverse #music #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #studio ghibli #my neighbor totoro #ponyo

8 notes · View notes

bookishblogging · 2 years

Text

Mediation Resources For The Witch Who Can’t Meditate 💫

Howdy! It’s your friendly neighborhood witch here FINALLY back with some witch tips. It feels like its been forever since I’ve made a genuine Tumblr post so here I am! I have a lot more free time + free space to really enhance my practice so I’ve gotten a second wind when it comes to witch blogging!

Anywho, that brings me into today’s topic: Meditation! I personally HATE the act of meditating like listening to guided meditations and doing deep breathing- it really irks me. I can never quiet my mind enough and I end up getting really frustrated. What i’ve realized now is that meditation isn’t all that black and white.

If I don’t do traditional meditations...then how do I meditate?

For me, i successfully meditate when I’m able to hyperfocus on a task for the pure joy of it. The ability to hyperfocus on something really brings me into that meditative mindset. Meditation- to me- is just giving your mind the ability to do whatever it pleases. In the ADHD world, we call this chasing the dopamine.

Another Method: Mind Retreat

Another method to go about reaching that meditative mindset is to take a few moments to close your eyes, and really listen to what thoughts you’re having. Don’t try to filter yourself, just let your brain THINK! Listen to what your mind is telling you, and just let all of your thoughts flow freely, without judgement. Do this multiple times a day, just to give yourself a truly *safe* space to THINK!

Meditation and Ritual

You may often hear people telling you that you need to meditate before any spell/ritual/etc. This is true- to an extent. Many practitioners (to no fault of their own) will emphasize the importance of a completely clear mind when performing rituals/spells/etc. THIS IS TRUE, but for me having my mind completely clear is quite literally impossible. I used to fault myself for not being able to meditate “correctly” and not being able to have a clear mind when I was practicing. BUT NOW I understand that it’s not about literal clearness of the mind, but rather clarity of the mind. Those may seem like they are the same thing but when I think of a “clear mind” i think like- no thoughts (which i thought to be impossible but my mother informed me neurotypicals don’t have a constant never-ending monologue going on in their head) where clarity is a focus on the task at hand. Therefore, getting into that calm, meditative mindset is beneficial when going to perform rituals.

Other Meditation Resources

I know that my approach to meditation is a bit different than what you may regularly envision, so I’ve linked a few other resources to help you along your journey. Feel free to leave me a DM or an ask (can’t promise I will remember to check my asks lol) if you have any questions or just want to talk :)

Yoga With Lakshmi- Yoga can be very beneficial when thinking about meditation, as it’s a peaceful and calm way to approach clarity of the mind whilst also taking care of your body.

5 Senses Grounding Exercise- I made a post about grounding (FIND IT HERE) a while back but here is another exercise to help ease anxiety and reach clarity of the mind. I’m sure you’ve heard of this one lol

Mediation Playlist- This is a playlist I found with a bunch of videos about meditation and meditation-adjacent things (I will be honest with you, I haven’t watched all of them but I want to give y’all multiple different types of resources)

THERE ARE TONS OF GUIDED MEDITATIONS ON YOUTUBE IF THAT’S UR JAM!

REMEMBER...

Meditation looks different for everyone, so don’t bring yourself down if you see someone doing something differently! Meditation is just another useful tool to help you in both your practice and your daily life. Remember you are important, you are loved, and you are going to do great things. Have a good day :)

#witchblr #witch #babywitch #witchtips #witch tip #meditation #meditation tips #meditation techniques #witchtok #beginner witch tips #grounding #protection #witch grounding #witch aesthetic #witchblr aesthetic #witchblrtips #witchgram #witches of tumblr #spellwork

62 notes · View notes

acid-by-thomas · 1 year

Text

I wonder if there are ascetic monks who get dangerously depressed.

...

Wow, that's a hilariously sad thought.

I've often thought that that sort of monasticism was the ultimate in freedom from material thought and emotion. And maybe it can be, sure, but even that's not for everybody. Being released from all negativity and positivity is, perhaps inherently, kind of hard to enjoy, beyond a cool, calm tide in your heart.

And the thing is, if you've smoothed yourself out enough, that tide is always there, for anything.

At least, that's how it felt for me these past few days of meditation. Yeah, I've still thought a lot of stuff, still experienced warmth and darkness and excitement, still acted upon it, but that tide is still there with it all.

So what do you do when there's a problem outside of you and that quiet just stays there? Do you just let your thoughts guide you? What if you've quieted them, too? Is it okay for me to feel this calm even in more heightened situations? I feel like it might be, but sometimes I'm not sure. Sometimes I don't even feel motivated for it. Is this why I've just sat down and fallen asleep instead of taking a shower before bed?

...Is this just depression?

Is that what meditation is, clinically speaking? An exercise in consciously depressing things inside of yourself?

Maybe, which is honestly a little bit sad. I've definitely practiced consciously turning things on and off inside myself, like my stream of thought. But maybe turning everything off isn't always for the best. Self-help told me this'd happen, that I'd feel less highs and lows, but is that what I want?

I dunno.

Maybe not to this extent.

Some of the scarier things from my last meditative phase are coming up again, and I think I at least have the mental skillset to let them pass by easily now, but I'm still a little scared I won't be at the controls if things get more serious.

But maybe that's just what meditation has ultimately taught me, is how to handle everything in myself. Take things out, tune things up, repair and get everything moving again. Shut things down for a while, but you don't need to let the whole thing rust.

Just because you're with this tide doesn't mean you have to lie face down in it and drown.

And I still like that tide being there. I think it's made the downtime of my day-to-day feel easier, less worrisome. I don't know if I want to be on that tide all the time, though. Maybe it's time I built a home next to it.

It's scary to think that there are things that can't be fixed by just locking up and being with yourself internally. But maybe that's okay. Maybe it's good to get outside yourself, too.

And it may disrupt the quiet, but if you wanna make some noise, the world is always listening.

#meditation #depression #asceticism #inner work #external #inner silence #quiet

3 notes · View notes

novastarry · 2 years

Text

Evening Entry 5.28.22

Done List

- Start 1 new challenge

- Add tasks

- Add daily tasks

- Language lessons ( Spanish)

- Set intentions

- Meditated

- Watch TikToks

- Listened to music

- Water first thing in the morning

- Make agenda

- Morning entry

- Ate breakfast

- Language lessons ( Spanish)

- Bullet Journaling ( Creative Living)

- Deep breathing

- Checked on kids

- Took morning meds

- Read ( How It Feels To Float)

- Meditated

- Got dressed

- Made my bed

- Chatted with my mom

- Brushed my hair

- Finished podcast listening

- Implement a new healthy habit ( Laughing everyday)

- Packed my bag

- Went to Walgreens on my own

- Left my house

- Had snack 1

- Hung out with friends

- Had lunch

- Ate in front of people

- Snack 2

- Drove home

- Said ' I am worthy of loving and being loved '

- 1 minute equal breathing

- Meditated

- 5 minute meditation

- Research money creativly

- List creative steps

- Fixed my Gmail account

- Checked on YMCA job ( I didn't get it)

- Said ' Today I chose to think positively '

- List writing sites to work on ( 1/5)

- Picked up 30 things ( I actually picked up 200 things so hell yeah)

- Finished 2 bottles of water

- Set an alert to get ready for bed

- Cleaned or tried to

- Ate dinner

- Lit a new candle

- Cleaned a bit

- Took evening meds

- Took evening meds an hour before bed

Happy Moments

- When I was in my kitchen listening to 7 Years and just picturing my kids and how good my life can be

- For a small moment when I was just drinking my milk and smelling the lit candle

General Notes

- My food anxiety has really picked up which is what caused my ana relapse last time and so I need to monitor that and find a way to help

Stats

Ways To Improve

- Start living creativly

- Romanticize your life

- Start wearing makeup again

- Light more candles

- Make/find drink supplements such as protein shakes or something similar to replace snacks/meals when you can't eat

- Stop replacing meals with caffeine

- Eat more fruits in general

- Learn a method of self defense in order to feel more comfortable being alone in public

- Find my inherent talents and start using them ( Maybe meditate on inherent talents)

- Surrender to my higher power

Things I'm Proud Of

- Getting dressed

- Making my bed ( For some reason those two things are the hardest things to do)

- Not immediately turning on television once I got up

- Calming myself down from a panic attack and recognizing the source of my anxiety

- Going to Walgreens on my own

- Starting cleaning and trying to clean

Universe Signs

11:11 - Your manifesting your intentions stay positive

Yellow Butterfly- Spiritual renewal, transformation, change, hope, and life

12:23 - Remind and encourage you to use your inherent abilities and talents

Dragonfly - Change, transformation, adaptability, and self actualization

2:34 - Surrender to a higher power

2222 - Stop worrying, balance yourself

8888 - Lots of money and abundance coming your way

- Meditation has started to come easier to me

4:44 - Surrounded by angels guided in what you're focusing on

0 notes

kachulein · 3 years

Note

Also have fun in town, I love you !!!!! 🤧🥺💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗

I love you too!! And thank you😭🥺💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜

#It was fun!! I haven't seen my friend since last year so it was amazing catching up face to face after such a long time #we're often in contact since we study together but we never really manage to meet up akdslld #her birthday was at the end of june and i gave my present to her now skkdkd #but anyway it was great to catch up!!#but the coffee shop we were at didn't have any snacks??? and i couldn't eat anything #that's usually not a problem for me but i think i hadn't eaten in too long and suddenly i got extremely dizzy #i'm not sure whether the dizziness was from anxiety or a lack of food or maybe both but it only got worse and all my other anxiety symptoms #set in #it was close to going home though so i was like okay i just need to make it home safely now #but it was difficult to go by bus and train since that's one of my biggest triggers #but i didn't have any other choice so i just;;; put on my big girl pants and went through with it #i listened to a calming guided meditation which helped me calm down a bit and i kept repeating positive affirmations to myself #instead of catastrophizing and it helped me hold on until i made it back home safely🤚🏻😭#i quickly ate something and mom gave me a few foods (nuts and cheese) that will give me energy and now i feel better #i'm still trying to calm my system since it was really stressful but i'm happy i got through it😭😭#and seeing my friend again was nice too and she loved my present so i will focus on that <3 #ask #lovely mooties💞#http peachie🍑#💜💗bestie💗💜#(sorry for the ramble nakdkksks)

5 notes · View notes

maneskinrollercoaster · 3 years

Text

~ I Loved You For All This Time Apart ~

Pairing: Damiano David x Lea (fictional character)

Word count: 1759

Warnings: Slightly bit of swearing.

Summary: Lea makes a hard decision which has major consequences on her relationship.

The doors opened and she saw him. Damiano was standing in front of her while she walked past the gate from her plane. They haven’t seen each other for a long time. Three years passed since their breakup but they still didn’t stop loving each other.

Damiano was stubborn. When Lea told him that she wants to leave to England, he quickly protested, saying that she’s better living in Italy, in her home country, rather than being all alone in an unknown place without any family or friends.

He always wanted to impress everyone. When he was in the studio with Vic, Thomas and Ethan, everything had to be perfect. He didn’t leave the place without making sure that every sound and lyric were on point. Lea told him that he can’t overwork himself like that but he didn’t listen and stayed in the studio from dusk till dawn working his ass off till he fell asleep on the floor with papers in his tired hands.

Damiano never missed the opportunity to party. Whether it was celebrating their new albums or just a local festival, he never said no to going out with his friends. He drank a lot on the parties which made Lea angry. Once he got so drunk that Lea had to call a Taxi and literally crawl with him on her back to get him home. She was furious that night, which didn’t happen often and threatened him that they will break up if he won’t stop being so irresponsible.

She wasn’t a loud person though. She never got angry and never raised her voice. It was really hard to make her go out of control and she knew that sometimes she was too kind to everyone. Damiano always told her that she should stand up for herself more but she was too generous to see bad in people.

When she got irritated she usually closed herself in the bedroom and meditated to clear her mind. It helped her a lot and she never was the one to argue anyways. She always prefered to calm down and talk. Damiano loved how down to earth Lea was. Whenever they had a worse moment, she held his hands, stroking them gently and said: What’s bothering you, love? Let’s talk about it.

Those little moments felt like big steps until it all crashed.

One day Lea made the most important and the hardest decision. She bought a ticket to London and told Damiano that she’s leaving Italy. He tried to turn it into a joke at first but then he realized that she was serious.

What do you mean you’re leaving Italy? He asked her confused, giving her a look full of fear. He didn’t want to loose her. She was his soulmate and loosing her would mean loosing a part of him.

Baby, I want to travel, chase my dreams. There are so many opportunities waiting for me, I want to go and be happy. Her face lit up and passion in her voice made Damiano frown.

So you’re not happy with me, huh? He said and his eyes turned black. He was angry. How could she ever think of leaving him and moving to UK? Her place was next to him, in Italy.

Dami, it’s not about you. I just..

You just what? You want to leave me here alone and sacrifice everything we have! He screamed and Lea, not aware of his sudden outburst, shivered.

I’m not breaking up with you. But you have to understand, I can’t spend my whole life here, only looking at you succeed. As much as I love you and as much as I’m happy about your carrier, I want to do it for myself, I want to achieve something, be successful. I’m doing this to show myself that I’m worthy. She said and her eyes filled with tears.

Well then, I guess it’s over for us. I can’t do long distance. He said letting down his head.

So you don’t even want to try? You don’t want to put some effort and make our relationship work? Her cheeks were now wet from the tears. She looked at him full of sadness and disappointment.

You just chose.

Alright then, goodbye Damiano.

That’s when they’ve seen each other for the last time.

Since then Lea lived in London. The weather there wasn’t as amazing as in Italy but Lea found herself amazed with british culture. The people there were kind, saying thank you and I’m sorry with every occasion possible. They were helpful too. Whenever Lea entered a bookstore or coffee shop, people seemed to be willing to help with anything you’d ask them for. She felt like she could get friends with everyone there which didn’t make her feel so lonely. After a month of wandering around and gettin to know the country a little more, Lea joined a local designer house and started her career as a fashion designer and consultant. There she met Steph - her spirit guide as she used to say all the time. They started designing together and their work found its popularity around London soon after. Lea finally felt like it was her place and she for sure didn’t want to leave. Ever.

After three years she’s gotten an invitation for Alex’s wedding in Florence. Since he was like a brother to her she decided to visit her home country but soon after she got a call from him. Damiano called her at 2 am in the morning, waking her up and saying that they should meet once she arrives. At first she was shocked. They broke up on not such good terms but the truth was none of them stopped loving the other.

Damiano through all this time wrote songs about Lea. He knew that if he’d tried even a little then maybe their relationship would work. But he was a coward. He couldn’t stand a fact of long distance, being together but apart at the same time, so he decided to shut up and all his braveness vanished. His lyrics were deep and sad, all of them about being lonely, breakup and sadness. Vic, Thomas an Ethan tried to talk to him but he always shut them off, saying that he’s fine and that they shouldn’t worry. After a while he seemed to move on but when Alex called him with a wedding invitation, saying that Lea confirmed her attendance, his heart stopped. He decided to call her.

Damiano, its 2 am in the morning. What is so important you want to tell me at such a time? Lea answered her phone with a sleepy voice.

I heard you’re attending Alex’s wedding and i just.. wanted to call you to ask what are you getting them as a gift. Damiano lied which was obvious even to Lea.

For a gift? Are you out of your mind? You call me at 2 am just to ask me for a fucking gift? She said shocked at her own tone.

I uhm.. i think we should meet. You know, once you arrive. He said and brushed his hair with his palm.

We will meet at the wedding. She said harshly.

No Lea, i meant meet before the wedding. To talk.

What do you wanna talk about?

Us? He said, not being sure of her response.

Us? You want to talk about us Damiano? You said yourself you don’t want long distance and now after 3 years you want to talk about us? If it wasn’t Alex’s wedding, I’m sure you wouldn’t have called. Lea said and she was about to hang up but Damiano stopped her.

But I love you. Damiano’s words stuck in her mind making it repeat them over and over again. I’ve never stopped.

For good 5 minutes there was a silence that Lea didn’t want to break. Shock was an understatement. Of course, she hadn’t stopped loving him either but he said that out of the blue and she didn’t know exactly what to say.

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.. Damiano started but was interrupted.

No, it’s okey. I just.. It’s not a conversation we should be having through the phone. She said quietly and soon after they ended their call.

And now he was standing in front of her. Dressed all in black, his hair longer than Lea has remembered and even more handsome than she saw him last time. She noticed that his jawline was more sharp and on his face she saw a slight beard.

Damiano also noticed some changes. Lea wasn’t wearing glasses like before, her hair were a lighter color than the brown hazelnut tone he loved so much but she looked really good.

Long time no see. Damiano said and a slight smile appeared on his face.

Yeah, long time indeed. She said squeezing tighter a handle of her suitcase.

They stood like this for what felt like forever when suddenly Lea felt Damiano’s arms wrapping around her tightly and pulling her closer for a warm hug. It truly felt like home. His scent of cologne mixed with cigarettes and his fingers gently stroking her back, his face buried in a crock of her neck and lips dangerously close to her skin. Lea felt his breath on her neck and sighed wrapping her arms around his torso, giving back the hug.

I missed you so much. Damiano whispered and Lea’s eyes started getting watery.

She missed him too but never wanted to admit it. Not after he decided to end this relationship because he didn’t have the courage to try and make it work from a distance.

Not long after she felt Damiano’s warm lips on hers. She didn’t expect it all and surprised but pleased with such sudden interaction she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. The kiss was sweet, full of love and missing each other but they both enjoyed it more than they both expected. After a while they pulled away, looking into each other’s eyes.

I know we have a lot to figure out and a lot to talk through but I’ve never stopped loving you. Please forgive me. Damiano said stroking Lea’s cheek with his thumb.

I loved you for all this time apart. Lea said and they both smiled at each other.

It didn’t matter for them that they were standing in each other’s embrace in the middle of the airport. What really mattered to them was that they found their way back to each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello everyone! I’m back and I just want to explain myself that I was on vacation in London so that’s the reason of my absence. Expect some London inspired content.

ALSOOO I JUST WANTED TO THANK FOR 100 FOLLOWERS! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! ❤️

That one is not as good but i hope you enjoy it! ❤️🥰

Requests opened.

Tag list: [ @teenyweenynightghost , @superchrystaldrug , @unitermoonshine ]

39 notes · View notes

reflectionsofneptune · 3 years

Text

a little thread on self-care apps

in honour of Saturn and Jupiter doing their ting in Aquarius, here’s a thread of some free apps you can try out for self-care.

I hope this provides a lil bit of value for you.

oak.

has three different options for meditations you can do such as a mindful meditation, a loving kindness meditation and an unguided meditation. I personally like the unguided meditation because I can have a bit more control by putting an interval timer, changing the background noise and time duration. plus there’s a countdown option too before you begin, which I love so that I can try and prepare before the meditation actually starts. so many times mediations start right off the bat, and well, I just wasn’t ready ha. as well as that, it gives you personal stats on how you’re doing and also the community who have download this app are doing. you can see how many people are mediating/breathing right now which I find motivating. also has options for breathing exercises and for winding down to sleep.

eternal sunshine

this app really has a lot to offer. so many guided meditations including ones to aid you in developing your chakras, or help you with anxiety before a test, or do when there is a full or new moon. I did a pre-ritual meditation which included tapping into the elements and let me tell you, the tea I got from the upcoming monthly tarot spread was scorching. we love to see it. it has affirmations for the chakras for example, and then affirmation exercises which allow you to get even more involved. for people who want more accountability they have seven day meditations, too. you can opt into little tidbits of prayers and wisdom to show up on your phone throughout the day. but what I really value about this app is the inspirational talks they offer. it covers a range of topics, like gratitude, dealing with anger, suicide, not giving up. real life shit.

feelyou

a mood-tracker app where you can post how you feel at any time. the great thing about this app is you can be totally anonymous. people from around the world can ‘feel you’ on whatever you post, and reply with support. the feelings options you have are calm, anxious, happy, sad, terrible and amazing. stats are provided too so you can see percentages of how many people with the app feel the same as you. there are communities you can join or make too. there’s a huge variety on there, from LGBTQA+ groups, BTS groups, cosplay groups, gratitude groups, cancer support groups and cooking groups. I even saw a group titled “I’m here to listen.” and for me, that was poignant because for someone, that’s all they want at the end of the day.

#selfcare

the. cutest. app. right off the bat, it will remind you to bring awareness to your body. where you’re keeping tension. it will remind you to breathe. accountability. it will ask you questions that encourage you to reflect more. the apps background is that of a bedroom with a person under the covers whose skin colour can be changed. but it’s interactive. you have an altar, you have tarot cards which you can pull a daily pull from. there’s a candle you can use to aid you in setting intentions or do candle gazing. for some people, I know even before COVID-19 happened couldn’t or didn’t want to leave their bedroom. the act of tidying up their room was something they found difficult. in the app, you can tidy up clothes on the floor which to me is a very satisfying little feature. there’s a journal option which you can customise, as well as a tape recorder so you can vocally get what you need off your chest. there’s so many other features, but get this. there��s a lil baby black cat you can interact with too. what more could you want? this app holds space for you.

aloebud (only available on iPhone)

designed in a teal (?) colour in a grid layout, for me this app is aesthetically pleasing. the whole point of it is that you choose activity cards of things such as hydrating yourself, breathing, connecting with others, taking a break. you can customise it so you can have reminders to do these things at a set time/day of the week, too. the app gives you an option to check in to keep accountability or to reflect on the theme of an activity card to gain more presence. there is a “people” activity card too, and one of the prompts it gives you is to write an encouraging message to your future self. that screams Saturn in Aquarius to me. there’s an activity log which allows you to congratulate on yourself on things you’ve done throughout the day.

stoic (only available on iPhone)

this is another app that just screams daddy’s home. (Saturn rules Aquarius in traditional rulership) based on the concept of stoicism, the colour scheme is black and white. very fitting. also very fitting that an aries stellium introduced me to this concept. like most self-care apps, it has a range of exercises you can do but what makes this one different is that they have something called “fear setting”. a three-step exercise that encourages you to go deep into what is holding you back right now. as well as that, there’s an option to do negative visualisation which is meant to further build up gratitude in your life. in the journal entries you can complete, there is an option to draw/scribble/doodle something along with your words which is fun. lastly, with every exercise they provide, they really get to the nitty gritty of what it does for you. they provide links to ted talks, or give you example scenarios so you can better relate. it’s all laid out for you.

#self care #saturn and jupiter in aquarius #self care app recommendations

163 notes · View notes

darlingdtarot · 3 years

Text

5/11/2021 - New Moon In Taurus & Horoscopes For All Signs

The New Moon in Taurus is here! This is a wonderful time of rejuvenation, relaxation, and peacefulness. The New Moon in Taurus will bring a sense of comfort to every sign, and provide a space for emotional security. Work on getting to bed a little earlier or perhaps sleeping in more on days where you can afford to. Reworking your daily routine to include some self-care is something highly encouraged by the Universe. When you start taking time for yourself, you will find that more opportunities and options show up for you effortlessly! You might be listening to binaural beats, Singing bowls, Guided meditations, and Subliminals. These are going to help clear your mind immensely which is going to recharge you. Switching up your nightly routine in order to wind down easier will help you get to sleep faster. Deciding to put your phone away an hour before heading to sleep will be beneficial in aiding your sleep. Reading books, drawing, or listening to music will also encourage you to express yourself or indulge in your imagination. Make sure to take naps throughout this New Moon in Taurus also as the days might make you feel a bit heavier. This is also a great time to renovate your living space as well. Some might be wanting to invest in new bed sets, furniture, or odds and ends. This is the perfect time to do so as you will feel more energized to fix the energy of your environments. When your space is cleaned and cleansed, you will feel so much more inspired to get to your daily routine. It's incredibly important to make your space around you into your sanctuary! Doing self care during this Taurus New Moon is crucial as well!

Meditation is also going to be a beneficial thing to harness during this New Moon Taurus! Don't fret too much about if you fall asleep during your meditation ; sometimes that's what you need at that moment. Try again after being fully rested! Some are being pulled to guided meditations on Youtube such as Past Life Regressions, Connecting with/Meeting your Spirit Guides, and Spirit Animal Meditations. This is the perfect time to really work on your spirituality and to better understand who your spiritual team are!

Rituals that you can do during the Taurus New Moon:

Let's cover some of the best face and skin treatment rituals for during this time, shall we? My grandfather always said to me growing up, “Cleanliness is Next To Godliness, And Your Body Needs To Be Cleaned Like A Temple”. This is going to be a wonderful time to focus on your Glow and to Clean YOUR body like the Temple it is. The overall vibe of the New Moon in Taurus going forward though is to take care of your skin through Face Masks, Facials, Sugar Scrubs, Baths or Bath Bombs. Deciding to have a spiritual bath can also be very healing during this time also as it will cleanse you going forward throughout the rest of the month. This can be baths that are taken with your favorite essential oils, your favorite candles burning, or your favorite crystals in the water with you. Focusing on Skincare by using your favorite oils before bed – Argon, Rosehip Seed, Raspberry, Marula, Carrot Seed, or even Jojoba Oil will help you increase your confidence this month. When we take the extra time and focus it on our skin, our mental space will thank us also. Some might be deciding to do the blackhead strips, charcoal masks, or under eye patches – and perhaps you have been debating with yourself on if you should get these things lately. Spirit is saying – Treat Yourself during this Taurus New Moon, dearest! You can also take this time to do an oil treatment in your hair, leaving it in overnight so it can absorb as much moisture as possible. Coconut oil is amazing for this, but beware if you have dyed your hair with henna as coconut oil can cause your dye to run.

One of my favorite things to do is create my own bath supplies, so I want to share my favorite recipes for Sugar Scrub:

½ Cup Brown Sugar

½ Cup Granulated Sugar

1/3 Cup Salt

1 Tablespoon Essential Oil of Your Choice!

Mix and then apply to your skin and all over your body. You can also add in coffee grounds, but I would suggest using more brown sugar as a cushion as the coffee grounds can be a bit rough against your skin. Sea Salt is also optional, but I generally don't use it unless I'm making a courser salt for feet and hands. Oatmeal masks are also amazing too as they calm inflamed skin or outbreaks of acne. Trust yourself and follow your intuition on what your skin needs most. I like to make two big batches of both peppermint and vanilla body scrubs during the holiday season so I always have them on hand throughout the year. These keep perfectly, so long as you don't get any water inside of the jar itself. Keep in a plastic container and get some out each time you're ready to go into the shower or bath. It's wonderful to use courser sugar scrubs right before you remove hair as well to exfoliate and lift the hairs you are wanting to shave or wax. Some might also be getting into Sugaring more over this period too, which your skin is going to thank you for!

Some Essential Oils I suggest for skin health and the yummy smell they have are as follows:

Lemon

Vanilla

Peppermint

Pomegranate

Frankincense

Another great, cost effective and organic home remedy facial treatment for those that don't mind doing a more nontraditional face mask - take an egg from the fridge, separate the yolk from the white into different cups. Whisk both separately, but save the yolk for later. Take the whisked egg white and begin to spread on your face. Let dry onto skin, then wash off. Go back to the yolk, give another whisk, then apply and wait until it dries again. Wash face off, and enjoy your skin feeling incredibly soft! I would do this every week as a teenager growing up as it was more accessible money-wise for me than affording face masks or oils. It really works amazingly! The whole process can take up to an hour, so make sure to have your favorite songs or videos ready to keep you company!

Horoscopes for Each Sign and Element over the New Moon in Taurus:

Please make sure to check your Sun, Moon, Rising, and Venus Signs as you might resonate more with their energies. :)

EARTH: 7 of Cups – Options, Options, and More Options are coming your way, Earth Signs! You might find that during this Taurus New Moon, which is a time of introspection and rest, you have more to do than any other sign. You're taking a lot onto your plate at once, but you know that you have what it takes to get everything accomplished. Some Earth signs are going to be pleasantly surprised with a gift someone got them over this period. It's going to be something sentimental, and perhaps something you will cherish for many years to come. I'm seeing a pearl, so you might be receiving a necklace or some form of jewelry from someone you love. For other's, there's this energy of you don't need all of the riches in the world to be happy. You're focused on the joy and sentimentality in the world currently rather than material gains, which is going to make you a lot happier in the long run. For a select few Earth Signs, you're starting to realize that everyone is on their own timing. If we were to all be successful at the same time, where would the excitement be? Know as you work hard that your time is coming soon – and what you're expecting is better than all the riches in the world.

Taurus: Knight Of Cups – Self-love that leads to a romantic connection is coming your way, Taurus! This is coming after some Taurus might have been in hiding or isolation for the longest time, but you're ready to emerge. The Butterfly is finally leaving the safety of the cocoon to spread their wings and enjoy the world! This is your vibe right now under the New Moon in your sign, Taurus. Allow yourself to explore new ideas or adventures in your life. This leap of faith is what is going to not only bring you to self-love, but to a healthy relationship, too. For some Taurus, you might be scared on how to approach a partnership or connection. Don't be as this person appreciates your genuineness, and wants you to only approach as yourself. Keep loving and appreciating yourself, Taurus. You bring a lot of beauty into the world! Also, if you feel the need to stay longer in your cocoon; that's okay! But please don't forget to come out and love on those who love you!

Virgo: Queen Of Wands – This Virgo's on Fire! You're focusing on your passions and becoming dedicated to your life purpose. Because of this, People are going to be finally giving you the recognition that you deserve. Allow yourself to focus on things that light that fire underneath you! That's what's going to bring you to abundance! Some Virgo's are going to have other's being jealous about them, because you are going to be thriving during this Taurus New Moon. You're glowing from head to toe, and it's making other's feel a bit on edge. Some might have gotten used to you always being their Yes Man, that they hardly even noticed when you started doing your own thing or started shining. Those in a relationship, your partner might be the one feeling jealous with all of the extra attention you're going to be receiving. False friends are coming to the light now too, Virgo. Some might be wanting to come back to find something to gossip about or just want to get into your good graces now that you're making a name for yourself. Focus on you right now. Work on you, and be your own Yes Man.

Capricorn: 8 Of Coins – You're working hard, Capricorn! You're putting in the elbow grease needed to level up or achieve more. You might be working overtime or deciding to take more time on your hobbies. This might also give you the chance to make a career from your hobbies too! Some Capricorn's are craving nature and this is The Universe directly asking you to spend some time outside. Connect with Mother Gaia and you will feel a lot lighter. Some are being called towards rivers or creeks. It might be beneficial to pack a picnic and sit next to water for a few hours, Capricorn. Some other Capricorn's might be deciding to get into a new exercise regime. This is going to not only raise your confidence with the endorphin boost, but get your body looking tone and fit! Remember to take your time with this, and to go into your exercise focusing on the self-care that comes with it. Don't stress yourself out too much or overwhelm yourself in regards to loosing a certain amount of weight. See this instead as getting active and going! For one Capricorn in particular, people are noticing that booty. (The Tarot card in front of me, this man literally has the nicest butt haha, so I think this is a message for some.) Regardless of whatever you're focused on, things are getting done, Capricorn! Great job!

AIR: Page Of Cups – Someone has been keeping an eye on you, Air Signs! This is someone who wants to come in with a declaration of their feelings. This isn't anything big, and for some Air Signs, you might not even realize this person has deep feelings for you. This could entail them doing small acts of service, traveling to you, or opening up lines of communication more. For some this person is at a bit of a distance, or might have felt like they were. They're coming back around, don't worry! Other Air Signs are going to be focusing on their own Self-Care routine. This could include spiritual baths, space cleanses, facials, watching that new series that came out on Netflix, etc. Whatever it might be for you, you're deciding to start turning your attention towards your own care more. Pampering yourself is the name of the game over the Taurus New Moon. Other Air Signs are starting to be less critical of themselves and really start to see all they bring to the table. Good for you, Air Signs!

Gemini: 9 Of Wands – You're pushing forward resiliently, Gemini! You might have felt that you couldn't achieve all you set your mind to in the past, but here you are! You're pushing forward every day and putting one foot in front of the other. You're strong and courageous, unwavering and persistent. This is why you are in the homestretch with what you're manifesting into being! Whether this be a deeper level of commitment, more recognition at work, or a higher paycheck – you're almost there! Some Gemini's might feel as if they are being pulled in ma different directions too. Know that over this Taurus New Moon it's okay to say no or stay true to your own boundaries. You don't owe anyone anything. Other than owing yourself the life you've always desired! Finish up this cycle, Gemini! You got this in the bag!

Libra: 2 Of Wands - There are decisions to be made about the future, Libra. Are you ready to take the leap of faith towards your goals and success? You're making plans for a better future in general. You're planning to be smarter in terms of business or just providing for yourself. Libras are not going to be taking no for an answer when it comes to their dreams any longer – no. You're deciding to start taking the bull by the horns to achieve what you really want. Some Libra's will have a change of heart from what they originally thought that they wanted or needed. I'm hearing, “What I thought I wanted, I don't actually want.” Interesting, Libra! Don't feel scared to change course! Just because you might have invested a lot into one path doesn't mean you should continue down it if it no longer resonates with your story (and who you are!)

Aquarius: Knight Of Coins – You're taking your shot, Aquarius, and it's looking to be a Bullseye! Trust in your talents and know that you have all of the resources to be able to accomplish your dreams. You're leaping into success, but The Universe also wants you to pace yourself as you're going forward. Yes it's good to keep pushing forward, but it's important to aim before you decide to shoot your arrow. Meticulousness is your biggest friend right now! Make sure to weigh all the pros and cons before making decisions as well. Some Aquarians might notice themselves having the Mitas Touch going forward! Everything you touch will be Gold, and you're going to really be bringing in that coin! In any event, whatever you're moving towards, Aquarius, is going to provide you with a new level of stability. Get excited!!

WATER: Justice – Divine Justice is coming your way, Water Signs! Are you ready for a major shift in your favor? Something you've waited for is finally coming full circle. For some, it's as if the Universe kept you in the dark so that when this finally got to you it would be a surprise. You're also being asked to get your life back in balance where it might not be. Getting back into your own equilibrium is going to give you better perspective as well. For other Water Signs your friends might be helping to give you insight on what is happening behind the scenes. There might be one friend in particular that is going to confide a secret in you. I feel this is going to be something that they haven't told anyone, so really hold this close. For one Water Sign in particular, it feels as if someone is testing you to see what you would do in a certain situation. A Cancer/Libra pairing could potentially be important.

Cancer: The Sun – Happiness and joy are all yours, Cancer! You are going to feel lighter than you have in quite a while. It will feel exhilarating and will give you a pep in your step to accomplish your work throughout the week. You're going to be focusing on the bright side, and finding the silver linings even in the disappointments. Things as a whole will be illuminated in a way that highlights just how blessed and abundant you are. Some are going to be spending more time in nature, perhaps taking up a nice camping spot near a creek or river. Butterfly imagery is going to be sent to you as a sign from Spirit. Take note of what you were thinking about when you see one as it's a message! Enjoy this time, Cancer! And be at one with Nature for a while, if you can. (Even if it just means buying a new plant for your room!)

Pisces: 10 Of Coins – Success and Abundance are coming your way, Pisces! Are you ready to be financially comfortable and to finally have a leg up financially? Now is the time to start planning for any trips you would want to take as well, as your money is coming in fast. Is there somewhere you wanted to vacation? Or perhaps a local attraction you wanted to attend? Put yourself out there and seize the day, Pisces! The Universe also is saying that you are going to be receiving a lot more material items in your world as well. Some might be deciding to treat themselves to a shopping spree, a spa day, or perhaps you're getting cosmetics done such as a haircut. Whatever that might be for you, allow yourself to do it! Splurge on yourself and let yourself live in some lavishness. You are worth it after all, Pisces.

Scorpio: The Star – Scorpio, you are feeling hopeful that things are aligning the way that they are supposed to! Keep trusting in the Universe as your Manifestations are starting to trickle in. You might start to notice this over the next few weeks just how quick the Law Of Attraction works for you. You're feeling inspired to take care of your home space right now, Scorpio. You might be cleaning house and remaking you nest, so to speak. You're decorating and feeling compelled to bring more comfort into your space. Trust this and keep filling your space with things that bring your soul peace. For other Scorpio's, you're being asked to take Spiritual baths and and nurture yourself more. A few select Scorpio's will be feeling as though things are coming full circle with another individual as well. There might have been someone in the past who didn't want to give you the time of day, but now they're back. It's your call entirely, Scorpio.

FIRE: 9 Of Cups – A wish fulfillment is coming your way, Fire Signs! There is an energy of calm and peacefulness sweeping over all of you, and it will bring clarity. Whatever it is that will emotionally fulfill you, that you've been manifesting for a while now, it will be in your life sooner than you know it. Are you ready for the blessings that are going to be waiting for you? A few might be deciding to pick up a new instrument too, and this is going to widen your imagination. It will make you feel more inspired as well to accomplish your work and make that coin! For other Fire Signs, you are watching romance movies (or rom-coms) and imagining how wonderful it would be for someone to do these things for you. That person is coming! For one Fire Sign in particular, your person plays the guitar and will offer to serenade you. Let them, Fire Signs! And don't be embarrassed or shy away – you deserve a declaration of love worthy of your time!

Sagittarius: Knight Of Swords – You are making ground in your life fast, Sagittarius! You're achieving a lot, and it's really starting to show. People are noticing that you're holding yourself differently. You're feeling proud of all you've done over this Taurus New Moon. For some there is going to be communication coming in with someone that you've been waiting on. This might be someone who travels a lot, or someone who has just been focused on themselves and their own abundance. They have a lot to share with you, and it's going to intrigue you all that this person has to say. For some, this person drives a red or white car. Other Sagittarius are going to be in frequent communication with someone completely new that is entering your life sooner than you know it. This bodes well for those Sagittarius looking for a partner online or on apps! For other's you might be hearing important news in regards to your home life or finances. This is going to bring good fortune and blessings your way.

Leo: King Of Wands – You are feeling yourself, Leo! You're on top of the world, and you're excited about showing your passions to the world. You're feeling that you can take on anything and be successful at it. This is true! Spirit wants you to remember that anything you put your mind to you can accomplish over this Taurus New Moon! Some Leo's are being asked to take break and recuperate. You've been running on fumes for a while now, and Spirit needs you to recharge as your life will be speeding up even more over the next month. It will seem like everyone wants a piece of you, Leo! So get some much needed R&R before you have to get going again! Other Leo's might be deciding to branch out on your own in regards to career. Whether this be a lip gloss business, or a homemade bracelet business, you will do amazing! But remember to go for it! The majority of Leo placements will feel as if they are closing out a chapter of their life and entering a more stable footing. Don't doubt!

Aries: The Devil – Aries, you are going to be in your head a lot over this Taurus New Moon. There's something that you want to be doing, or hoped would come around, that perhaps you feel a bit bound to. For some Aries you might be deciding to start over fresh in your life, and undergo a transformation. Good for you, Aries!! Do it! There's also an energy though of being too hard on yourself, especially while trying to obtain this glow-up, and The Universe wants you to see this as a form of Self-Sabotage. Spirit is also saying, “If being critical about yourself didn't help or work, why not try being your best friend instead?” See how things change when you look at your life from a different perspective. Take a look objectively and know that you aren't as trapped as your Ego is trying to make you think you are. You are being guided by Spirit over this New Moon period to find sanctuary within yourself, and to be content with where you are. Practice yoga breathing as well as this will clear your mind. For those in a toxic relationship, The Universe is telling you not to be scared to release this. After all ; when one door closes, another one opens!

28 notes · View notes

dramaphan · 3 years

Text

Gonna read a bit more Dan book wish me luck

•gonna try and get through the This Night section she’s hefty

•this man just “facts don’t care about your feelings”-ed me what the fuck

•we’ve gotten our first bit of juice- they almost got arrested in the Philippines and Dan simply decided to be unbothered.

• “my exceptional ability to constantly self doubt makes everything from making my bed, to writing a joke, a slow and painful experience” I’m not gonna say it

•this guy has really spoiled a crazy amount of book I have yet to read a single page that I haven’t already read somewhere on the internet

•okay he’s now... dunking on newborns for the way they breathe. This has taken a turn

• “worrying about a crisis in the future, like if one day I’ll stop being funny” nobody tell him

• “as babies grow up, they learn how to calm themselves down without a mysterious giant intervening to pick them up” well you know what Dan I’m 24 and I would kill to be picked up by a giant when I feel like shit

• “don’t be like my mum” is an interesting piece of mental health advice. But he could be on to something. We could all stand to be a bit less like our mothers

• we’ve ticked the boxes of the 4-8-4 breathing exercise and the 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, etc exercise. Real glad this was free

•Dan buddy this exercise is great and all but I’m a busy bitch I don’t have time for all this can you tell me how to pause my breakdown if someone’s having a stroke because that’s more what I’m dealing with day to day

•now we’re doing guided meditation type shit but it doesn’t really work if I have to read it. Maybe the audiobook version of this bit would be better

•he’s telling me to just not have thoughts I think. I might be illiterate but it feels like he’s saying “if you have a thought, don’t!” And I’m losing it

•shoutout Steve and scrag

•”you will be qualified to be a first responder to what goes on inside your head” fuck now he’s speaking my language oh god did I just learn something from this man I’m gonna gag

•we’re doing math now???? Dan fuck you I had to take grade 11 math twice

•really hung up on this anxiety equation. There’s division in here??? I don’t think I can bedmas my way out of this one fellas

•juice alert: Dan moved the neighbours recycling and they glared at him. Riveting stuff.

•”think about other difficulties you’ve faced in your life. You probably survived all of those!” Probably?? Actually Dan, I’m reading this as a ghost and that was very insensitive

•I don’t know who Sandra is but Dan is really giving the poor bitch a beating

•Dan just made me imagine my pharmacist naked I’m gonna sue

•okay he is talking about certain barriers to getting help which I’m glad about but he’s also saying a lot of things about doctors and medical professionals that are. Pretty idealistic.

•okay part 1 done it wasn’t bad and the advice was stale but I really think the most interesting part of this section was that bit where he was talking about doctors like they’re just always going to listen to you and/or give a shit and be totally respectful and non-judgemental and all that. My guy I think you just hit the doctor jackpot. Anyway I know he was probably just trying to make it sound more appealing to see a professional but I would have appreciated a little “if your doctor is an asshole, fire him” paragraph.

#ywgttn spoilers

20 notes · View notes

queen-scribbles · 3 years

Text

You’re One to Talk

Companion piece to I Would Never; Vica’s POV for one of her busier days somewhere between Ossus and all the stuff in Echoes of Vengeance. Roughly the same length, too.

----

To the unfamiliar, the Alliance Commander looked the very picture of poise. With her hair done up in that vaguely-aristocratic style she loved so much and posture that made even her simple outfit look elegant, Vica radiated serenity well before you got to her small, warm smile. A smile currently aimed at a wildly gesticulating starship mechanic, while Vica listened to his grievances with an air of sympathetic calm.

But Theron knew her too well to buy it. There was a faint edge of strain to her smile; not caused by the mechanic, but he was surely the latest in a long line of people who wanted “just a moment of your time, Commander”. And no matter how busy she already was, refusing to listen when someone had a need would be un-Jedi-like, so she would never.

Thus, Theron swept across the hanger bay in just a few long strides to give her an out. “Commander, the general and admiral are ready in the conference room.”

Vica turned and flashed him a tighter version of that smile, halfway between gratitude and let me handle this, darling. “Thank you, I’ll be right there,” she said, before shifting back to assure the mechanic his concerns would be addressed as soon as possible. With him placated, she gave Theron a much more genuine smile. “Thank you,” she breathed, leaning against his chest.

Theron rubbed her back as he hugged her, frowning at the tension in her shoulders. “That bad?”

“Not bad,” Vica said with a sigh, straightening and pinching the bridge of her nose before heading toward the conference wing. “Just... a lot. And all at once. There’s the Republic delegation, and the security overhaul, and pirate attacks on our supply ships that mean rearranging the Mandalorian escorts, and Hylo wanted to talk about a few of her people she thinks are skimming, and a couple more she feels could be given more responsibility-”

“I’m getting tired just listening to that list,” Theron cut her off glibly. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as he kept pace. “Do they really all have to go through you?”

She shot him a look. “I’m the Commander. I chose to keep us independent. That makes the security and well-being of the Alliance my responsibility.”

“Leadership of the Alliance is your responsibility,” he corrected. They stepped onto the elevator and he pulled her in to kiss her temple. “Leaders delegate. You don’t have to do everything yourself.” Despite how long the Council and universe in general told you otherwise.

Vica bit her lip, but he still heard the You’re one to talk in her eyes. “I did. Lana’s overseeing the security upgrades, and Briyoni took Jonas to deal with the perimeter sensors that went down.”

“Oh, good, thank her for keeping him busy for me,” Theron deadpanned.

She rolled her eyes but smiled as she whacked his arm with the back of one hand. “I thought you two were friends.”

“We are. Which means I know what he’s like when he’s bored.” He rubbed her back again. “And how quickly he’ll likely get to that point while he’s here. If your sister can keep him occupied for a couple hours, means longer before he starts bugging me.”

This time she actually laughed, and he was gratified to feel some of the tension ease in her shoulders. “Careful, or she’ll say you owe her one.”

“Right, because dragging her husband off somewhere unsupervised for a couple hours when they haven’t seen each other in months was entirely altruistic.”

“Theron!” Vica protested, but her shoulders were shaking with laughter as she buried her face against his chest.

The elevator reached their desired floor and he tugged her arm to guide her off. “You tellin’ me we wouldn’t do the same thing in their shoes?” he murmured into her hair, and her grip on his jacket tightened briefly.

Vica took a deep breath and was Barsen’thor-levels of composed when she straightened. A hint of mirth still danced in her eyes as she serenely commented, “We have a meeting.”

That’s a no, Theron smirked but behaved himself, gesturing to the conference room door. “So we do. After you, Commander.”

“Thank you, Agent Shan,” she said with a smile, and had fully shifted to the role of Commander by the time she stepped into the room.

---

Vica had been mildly concerned her to-do list would distract from the meeting, but she had that chain of thought spinning away in the back of her mind by the time she and Theron took their seats and exchanged pleasantries with Aygo and Daeruun. Her main focus was firmly and unwaveringly on their conversation as they discussed the state of the galaxy and best way to use the Republic and Alliance’s resources. She trusted Aygo with the the Alliance military action--and had almost just let him handle this meeting, with how busy she was--but she did need to be at least in the loop if not giving final word on big decisions. Like which sectors to keep a close eye on and which were secure enough to spare manpower to shore up weaker areas. What to do about various Imperial actions or pirate attacks. It was a very tricky balance puzzle, and the very faintest edges of a headache were creeping in by the time they reached a solution.

“Thank you for your time, Commander,” General Daeruun said warmly as he stood. “That took longer than I expected it would, and I know you’re busy.”

“It was an important list of issues, General,” Vica demurred with a smile. “I always have time for our allies in the Republic. No matter how busy I may be.”

The general chuckled. “A most gracious host. When you find the opportunity to relax, Commander...” He pulled a small packet from one of the pouches on his belt. “A token of friendship; a new blend I encountered on Atraken. I find it quite adept at calming the mind.”

Vica perked up at the offer of new tea and stepped forward to accept it with a grin. “Thank you very much, General. I look forward to when I have the chance to try it.”

“Yeah, so do I,” Theron muttered behind her, barely audible.

She ignored him. He was one to talk about working too hard, anyway. “Make yourself at home as long as you’re here, General. I need to see to some other matters if we’re finished?”

“We are indeed,” General Daeruun nodded. “Best of luck with your other endeavors, Commander.”

“Thank you. And, again, for the tea. Aygo, you can head down to staging when you’re ready.”

The admiral nodded, looking up from the datapad he’d been studying. “Of course, Commander.”

Theron trailed her out of the conference room, and Vica pivoted, tilting her chin up to meet his gaze once they were out in the hall. “So, what’s next on your to do list?”

He gave her an arched brow look. “Try and convince my wife to take a five minute break before she dives back into her ocean of work?”

“I will,” Vica promised, resting a hand on his arm. “But I still need to talk to Hylo, and the meeting went long, so it’s almost time for my holocall with--”

“Vica, it’s five minutes,” Theron said with a wry smile. “Just go sit on a conference table and meditate or something so you don’t burn out.”

She giggled at the mental image; Barsen’thor and Commander and Outlander, perched cross-legged on a conference table to meditate like a mischievous youngling. “I will. Take a break, I mean. But the ambassador’s expecting my call, so I really need to at least do that first.”

He pursed his lips. “I’ll talk to Hylo.”

“You aren’t too busy?”

“Nah, my to-do list is much shorter than yours,” he deadpanned. “Let me help.”

“It is the sort of thing you’re good at...” Vica pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to quash the guilty tickle at ‘pawning off her responsibilities’. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

“All yours, then.” She flashed a tired smile. “See? Delegating.”

“Good for you,” Theron drawled, leaning down to steal a kiss before they parted ways.

Vica snaked a hand around the back of his neck to hold him close an extra few heartbeats. “Thank you,” she murmured as they parted.

“Anytime, sweetheart,” Theron replied quietly, pressing a light kiss to her forehead as well before he headed for the elevator.

Vica smiled, sighed, and made her way to one of the more private holoterminals.

---

There were, fortunately, no surprises lurking in her conversation with the Qalitan ambassador. Just typical diplomatic chitchat about their contributions an compensations and how things stood on Qalita Prime.

Vica breathed a long sigh of relief after ending the call, smoothing a hand down her shirt as she mentally crossed that off her list. One thing down, eight more to go...

She almost ran into the aide hurrying down the hall when she stepped out of the room. The baby-faced zabrak didn’t seem fazed by the near-collision, already rambling before Vica could get an apology out,” Oh, Commander, I’ve been looking for you.” He held out a datapad. “Trestal sent some revisions to our treaty.”

Vica frowned. “We’re formalizing that in two days.” They had a month and they chose now?!

“I know, Commander.” His tattoos wrinkled as his brow furrowed. “They promised it was only a few things, minor adjustments to phrasing and the like.”

Which immediately set alarm bells ringing; you didn’t wait til the last minute to make minor adjustments. Vica groaned. This day was one long game of bop-a-gizka; get one thing taken care of and another popped up somewhere else. “I’ll take a look at it. Thank you for telling me.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am, and... sorry.” The aide frowned apologetically.

“Not your fault,” She said with a sigh, and took the datapad to her quarters to review. The timing was atrocious, and made her very glad she’d let Theron take talking to Hylo. So much for that five minute break.

---

When he’d nagged her about taking a break, dozing off over a datapad hadn’t really been what he had in mind. Theron debated letting her be anyway, but she’d have an awful crick in her neck from that position.

He sat next to her on the couch and gently poked her shoulder. “Vica.”

She jerked upright, fumbling the datapad a moment before catching it just as it started to slide off her lap. “What do you need?”

“Just checking in.” Theron rubbed her arm. “Dry reading?”

“Give me a history text over political document any day,” Vica said with a wan smile. She stretched and rubbed the back of her neck. “How’d it go with Hylo?”

“Fine,” Theron shrugged. “She has good instincts, and good evidence for both the accusations and the people she wants to promote.”

“Good, glad that was easy.”

“How ‘bout you, what’s so enthralling you added it into your schedule?” He nudged the datapad.

“Trestal treaty. They made some minor changes and phrasing tweaks-”

“Now?” Theron frowned skeptically at the datapad. “Two days before we sign the blasted thing?”

“That’s what I said!” Vica tossed the datapad on a chair and half-turned to face him. “But I’ve been going over it for” --a glance at the wall chrono-- “stars, two hours, and didn’t find anything major. All the changes I’ve noted--and there aren’t a lot--have been little things, nothing that drastically alters the terms. I think politics have jaded me.”

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Theron said dryly.

She nodded, but absently, like her thoughts were elsewhere, and rubbed her eyes. “Did Briyoni and Jonas make it back alright?”

“I don’t think they’re back yet...” he said slowly, and her posture snapped stiff.

“It’s been hours,” Vica pointed out as she shot to her feet, “more than enough time to repair a couple sensors.”

Knowing Balkar as well as he did, and that Bry was a good match for him, Theron wasn’t terribly worried just yet. “I’m sure they’re fine, Vee. Maybe one of the repairs took extra work, or they’re just taking their sweet time.” Like I’d be trying to do if we’d gone.

“Maybe.” Vica didn’t sound convinced. “Can’t hurt to check...”

He snorted a chuckle. “Technically, no, but if you interrupt their first time alone in months just ‘cause you’re worried...” He smirked and leaned back on the couch. “On second thought, maybe your sister will send death glares at you instead of me for a while. A break would be nice.”

She rolled her eyes and keyed up comms as she paced toward the window. “Briyoni, how’s it going?” A frown wrinkled her brow. “Briyoni?”

Okay, if she wasn’t answering comms, that might be a problem. Or just a bid for privacy.

---

Vica instinctively defaulted to one of the meditations techniques she knew to calm the worry spiraling through her gut.

The comms were dead. Switched off or jammed she couldn’t tell, but there was no answer to her attempts at raising her sister and she couldn’t quite bring herself to agree with Theron’s theory behind the delay.

She tried again. “Briyoni, can you hear me?”

Nothing.

She turned to look at Theron, mildly panicked despite the attempt to meditate it away. “There’s nothing.”

“Nothing as in she’s ignoring you, or as in just static?”

“Nothing as in dead air.” Vica hugged her arms close around herself. “What if something happened to them?”

“Well.” Theron stood and moved to join her. “They’re both very resourceful, and pretty damn hard to kill.” Bry might have more attempts to her name, but Balkar had squeaked out of a few tight spots of his own, and they made a damn good team. He rubbed Vica’s arms and pulled her into a hug. “They’re probably okay, but do you want to send someone after them?”

“Who?” she asked with a wry snort. “Everyone’s busy, including us, that’s why Briyoni volunteered to handle this in the first place.” She picked up her datapad and called up the speeder logs. The locator was offline.

That set her gut twisting. Calm, Vica, he’s right. Resourceful and hard to kill. She’d heard about Eclipse Squad. About Denon.

Good or bad, this also meant they had no way of knowing where Briyoni and Jonas were even if she wanted to check on them. “No point sending someone; their speeder’s not showing.”

“Huh. Weird. Let me see?” Theron took the datapad and scanned the logs. “Nothing about a crash, maybe they’re just out of range.”

“Maybe.” Her skepticism carried in her voice more than she’d meant. They would have had to go seriously off-course for that, so it was a long shot, but she appreciated him trying to make her feel better.

He flashed a sympathetic half-smile. “Here’s a plan: we spend a little while working on things we can do from here with datapads and comms, and you can keep checking to see if Bry’s signal comes back. If it doesn’t, then we worry about how to handle tracking them down.”

It was a good plan. Much more manageable than her fretting about two people in all the untamed expanse of Odessen. She shot him a grateful smile. “Since when are you the reasonable one?”

Theron snorted and kissed her forehead, not seeming the least offended. “Since you started panicking about your sister being AWOL.”

She snorted in turn and plunked down on the couch. “An hour,” she decided. “If I try for an hour with no response, we’ll have to do something.”

“Sounds fair,” Theron agreed, sitting next to her. “Emotional support,” he said with a one-shoulder shrug when she gave him a you’re staying? look.

Her chest warmed at the words and Vica leaned over to kiss his cheek before settling in to try and do some work.

---

It took half of that hour she was willing to wait for one of Vica’s increasingly worried-despite her best efforts--checks to bear fruit.

“...Yeah, Vic?” came crackling back, Briyoni’s voice slightly raised(wind from a moving speeder, maybe?).

Vica wilted against Theron’s shoulder. “Oh, thank the Force.” There was a pulse of unguarded relief from him as well. Apparently he’d been more worried than he let on. “I’ve been trying to check in for... half an hour. What happened?”

“We, uh, ran into some technical difficulties exploring an alternate route.” At least she had the decency to sound a little sheepish. “There’s a section of canyon down here, fuzzed out comms and the map.”

A cold spike prickled up her spine, her jaw tightening at a memory.

“You have forgotten what it is to face death alone. I will remind you.”

She was dimly aware of Theron’s hand on her shoulder, but it was Briyoni’s voice that snapped her out of it. “Vica?”

Vica purged the emotion and accompanying tremor from her voice. “I think I know where you’re talking about.”

“Your friends cannot hear you....”

“Are you out of there?” Even with Valkorion... gone, who knew how much his presence might have warped things in that place.

“Yeah....”

“Good. Don’t go back.” It was the closest thing to an order she’d given her sister since Briyoni joined the Alliance.

“Yes, ma’am, Commander, ma’am,” came the glib reply, and Vica couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter.

“Finish your job, Briyoni,” she reminded, a smile tugging her lips.

“That’s the plan. Get back on track, fix the sensor, be on our way home. See you in an hour or so, Vic.”

“See you then.” Vica closed the channel and exhaled a long slow breath of relief, her head falling back on Theron’ shoulder.

“I take it they’re fine?” he asked.

She sat up and nodded. “They were exploring and wound up in a canyon that interfered with comms and the map.”

From the way his eyes narrowed, his thoughts went the same place hers had. “Where Valkorion...?”

“That’s my guess.” Vica rubbed the back of her neck and shuddered, as if she could shake off the memory. “They’re finishing now.”

“So, how long, exactly, do I have before Balkar’s around to bug me?”

Vica snorted and bumped her knee against his. He grumbled, but the slight upward curve of his lips said he didn’t really mind the prospect. “An hour or so. Maybe longer if he doesn’t jump right into pestering you.”

“Good to know.” Theron set his datapad on the low table and turned to give her a serious look. “Now, all kidding aside. Since you know your sister’s fine, and you got more work done--”

She knew where this was going.

“--will you please take that five minute break now?”

Called it. She was feeling drained, if she was honest. He had a good point. “I’ll do ten minutes. On one condition.”

“I take it with you.”

“Mm, smart man,” she grinned. “You’ve been working almost as hard as I have today, Theron. If I need it, so do you.”

He looked ready to argue, then reconsidered and caved with a sheepish nod. “’S a fair point.”

“It’s just ten minutes,” Vica pointed out, dropping her datapad next to his and settling in tucked close against him. “We can spare ten minutes.”

“Sure.” Theron wrapped an arm around her and his cheek pressed her hair. “Just a little break. We need it.”

She hummed in agreement. They did need this.

---

They were both asleep when Bry stuck her head in to look for Vica; Theron slouched in the corner of couch back and arm with Vica sprawled on top of him, their legs half-falling off the couch. She grinned, biting back a laugh, and debated taking a holo of the two of them. (Vica was snoring a little; it was kind of adorable.) But it was too risky she’d wake them, so she reluctantly discarded the idea and instead tiptoed across the room, avoiding the tangle of legs. Quietly as possible--impressive to anyone who knew her--Bry picked up Vica’s datapad and typed a quick Back safe. Enjoy your nap. B before tiptoeing back out to let them sleep.

Stars knew they needed it.

#queens fic #vica nerai #theron shan #vica/theron #THEY HAVE FIC NOW FINALLY

7 notes · View notes

fiddlepickdouglas · 3 years

Text

To The Wick - Bobby’s Birthday

Disclaimer: I’m not usually a fic writer, I tend to stick to original stuff, but I just felt like I had to write this for Bobby today. I definitely wrote this in one go and did no proofreading, so I’m very sorry for that.

Summary: 2.3k wd. Bobby celebrates with Rose and Ray while still dealing with survivors guilt. Lots of fire imagery and comparisons.

WARNINGS: deals with death, symptoms similar to anxiety or PTSD, funeral mentions, survivor’s guilt

Staring at the flame, he fought every impulse to snuff it out with his fingers. For a moment, he contemplated on its gentle flickering, not unlike himself at this time. Every moment of its existence a fight against very strong currents, against all but one element surrounding it. All it knew was heat and the need to grow outward, but not being able to without the permission of exterior forces.

The words to the Beatles’ birthday song drummed on his ears, but his mind was in the back of the cavern where the music could only echo at a distance. Shaking his head and pulling his mind out of the depths of the cave, Bobby let a small smile loose for Rose and Ray and blew out the candle on the cupcake before him.

His friends cheered and they all bit into their own homemade cupcakes. Rose had been perfecting her recipe, and so far these were the best.

“You’re going to open a bakery,” Bobby told her through a mouthful. “And I’m going to be your most faithful customer.”

“But I get to do all the taste-testing, right amor?” Ray teased, earning a hand messing up his hair from Rose.

“Mi abuela didn’t pass this down and I didn’t tweak it so you could eat it for free all the time,” she said in a sassy tone, kissing his cheek.

Ray raised his eyebrows. “Noted,” he replied with a smirk.

Bobby finished his cupcake, entertained by the two lovebirds.

“So,” Rose started saying. “Now it’s time to open gifts!” She leaned away from her seat and grabbed an object from the counter a few feet away, then handed it to Bobby.

Tearing apart the purple wrapping and blue ribbon, he looked down at the small stack of CDs. Meditation Sunrise, The 7th Chakra, and Celtic Wind sat in his hands like rectangular dumbbells, each weighing heavier on his heart than he cared to admit. Suddenly, Ray was draping something over his head, and as he looked down he found himself wearing a necklace of prayer beads.

“You guys!” he chuckled, trying to sound genuine. It was his birthday, he was supposed to enjoy all of this. The gifts were actually great, too. “Thanks, this is awesome. You’ll both have to join me in a session, you know.”

“We were thinking we could do it with you today, if you wanted to,” Rose told him.

Bobby sat back in surprise.

“O-okay,” he stammered. He caught the look in her eyes that was hoping this wasn’t too much, to which he gave her a small smile of assurance. It was impossible to blame them for anything he felt today, especially when she and Ray were putting in so much effort to make it full of the joy and happiness it was meant for. It didn’t mean he hadn’t subconsciously stuck his hand in his pocket to where he kept a lighter. Just to feel that it was there, of course.

“Is it okay if we do it later tonight?” he asked. “I just have a quick meeting with my producer and a couple other things afterward to do. And I can pick up some incense while I’m out.”

“Great plan!” Ray exclaimed. He didn’t elaborate, but Bobby could guess that all the eye contact with Rose meant something he needed no part in. He got up from the table and grabbed another cupcake for the road.

“Say we meet back at, like, eight or nine?” he asked, grabbing his leather jacket and keys.

Rose looked up from being halfway embraced with Ray, barely paying attention. “Sounds perfect!”

********

“So, after talking with Jedd we decided we wanna cut out the second repeat of the chorus in Long Weekend. It makes it easier to put into radio time.”

Bobby stared at Callum, his producer, in disbelief.

“But we can just do a radio edit, then, why cut it off the album track?”

Callum blinked condescendingly.

“You think you’re just going to get radio edits out like that before you have an album out, kid?”

“Have you listened to it?” Bobby challenged. “That album is gonna shoot through the charts and I know you know that.”

“Tch,” Callum acted like he’d been shot by a Nerf gun. “That’s a bold statement from a guy who didn’t write these songs.”

A fireball seemed to form inside his chest, and Bobby wished he could open his mouth and shoot it toward the man. He clenched his teeth.

“You signed the deal, you recorded these songs, and you are getting this opportunity from us. We - need I say this - are professionals. Trust me, I’ve dealt with music written by dead people before. You’ll thank me in a few years.”

He was trembling to keep the fireball from burning down the entire room, and clenched his fists. Focusing on a stupid paisley design on the carpet, he avoided eye contact with Callum. There was no way he was letting Luke’s songs go any different than what they had played together for so many years. He had read the contract well enough, hadn’t he? It was hard enough not crediting the rest of them, but it was honor Luke with letting his music connect to people or honor Luke by letting him keep his songs to the few who heard them from the source. Not to mention Alex and Reggie being equal parts in that equation.

“Fine,” he forced out. “Make the cut. See how it does. I’ll bet you that when I make a remaster in twenty years with greater freedoms because I’m a respected artist, fans will ask why you cut it to begin with. I’ve got better people to see than you right now.”

He only saw Callum shaking his head out of the corner of his eye as he pushed through the door of the studio, flipping the bird behind him. It would’ve been nice to simply say over my dead body, but he was already bulldozing over his three best friends and it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that he could walk along the street, get into his car, and drive off in a huff. Not fair that he could go to the abandoned grocery store parking lot and yell until his lungs were sore. It was absolutely inadequate that he remained on this earth, soul inside his body, light in his eyes, breath and blood and bones and all. He screamed in that parking lot until he was dizzy.

Bobby laid in his seat, exhausted, until twilight approached, and then started the engine again. The route was so well-known now that he knew exactly when the lights turned so he never had to make a stop. He came to the right stop and parked on the shoulder, looking wistfully out the window.

So far, he hadn’t managed to set foot on the grounds again after the funerals had passed. Still, he came and made sure his line of sight at the closest angle to get a proper look at them. They were all in a row, even though only two stood vertically. Reggie’s parents had cremated him and only gotten a stone plaque that acted as a placeholder while they kept his urn with them at home. It was nice of them to at least contribute to keep the three together.

Today still wasn’t the day he was going to venture closer to them. Bobby wasn’t going to handle it well after the conversation he’d just left. He pulled the lighter out of his pocket and flicked it off and on. It hadn’t really been a habit he had before, but there was something weirdly comforting about it. For something that couldn’t think, it really understood him. He didn’t want to use it on anything, he just wanted to watch it exist before disappearing. The fire was them. But he could control it.

Taking in a deep breath, he went to get some incense.

********

Mats were spread in the backyard with tiki torches and a camping lantern in the center, more paper lanterns hanging from the tree above. Bobby had gotten a nice incense burner a few weeks back and was excited to put it on display. Ray was in his swim shorts, already seated with his legs crossed and repeatedly going “oommmm” and breaking it with giggles when Rose swatted at him playfully.

“We’re not doing that kind, tontoroso,” she teased.

“Pero me quiero - ah!” Ray cried as she accidentally thumped him with the boombox she’d been carrying out.

“Oh, lo siento mi amor, me desculpes!” she cried, setting it down to address the minor bump now forming on his head.

Bobby sat patiently as they babbled for a moment ensuring that Ray wasn’t harmed too much, smirking a little. He didn’t really mind being the third wheel on his own birthday - it helped take away from some of the guilt.

“Okay!” Rose said finally, standing and adjusting the bottom of her tank top. “I think we should try the Meditation Sunrise, so it will guide us through every motion and we don’t have to think.”

“Agreed,” Bobby nodded, with Ray doing the same. “The less thinking the better.”

Rose pressed play on the first track as all three of them sat in their assumed meditative positions with their eyes shut. Calm, synthesized music floated out of the speakers of the boombox, with light chimes twinkling here and there.

“Welcome to Meditation Sunrise. This first exercise is to help you free yourself from resentments and embrace forgiveness. Listen to my words. Focus on my voice and soon you will be free of anything that stirs up anger. This can be anger toward another person, anger toward a higher being, or even anger toward yourself…”

Bobby felt his heartbeat increasing and strained to keep his eyes closed. He tried to sit up straighter so that he could breathe in even deeper. He could hear Ray and Rose exhaling, sounding so calm and relaxed, and let out his own breath hoping it came out the same way.

“Forgive faults. Resentment comes from Latin, meaning ‘to feel again’. We all have these feelings, and they all visit us from time to time. Sometimes we hold onto things in the past that have caused harm. These things were painful. Letting these feelings continually visit us repeats that pain. In this exercise we are here to let it go…”

Taking a careful peek through his eyelashes, Bobby checked to see what Rose and Ray looked like. They sat close together, holding hands with the remaining ones shaped in circles. Rose had her head tilted back, so free and open to the sky, so light from the weight that wasn’t sitting on her chest. The flames from the tiki torches flickered and Bobby squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t focus on them instead.

“Now we are going to envision that we have a shovel in our hands. We’re going to dig. Get that shovel deep into the rich soil and lift it up. Set the soil to the side. Smell the fresh, upturned earth. If you want to, you can kneel down and take some into your hands. Let the soft, rich earth be cool to the touch. Let it calm you.

“Imagine you are digging in a garden and planting a seed. It’s a seed of happiness. It’s small right now, but will grow as we continue through our meditation. We just need to go a little deeper into the ground…”

Bobby’s mind was transported back to the cemetery he’d visited earlier. It travelled all the way to the funerals - open ground, lowering cheap wooden boxes. His hand filled with a small amount of dirt.

“Stop,” he muttered, eyes remaining closed. Rose and Ray were still entranced.

“Stop, stop, turn it off, I can’t -” He felt his breathing get uneven, and Rose was already in front of him, cradling his face and wiping away tears that he didn’t realize had escaped. He jerked away from her touch. Ray rushed to stop the playback on the CD.

All he felt was heat rising everywhere. In his veins, all over his skin, the fireball growing like a small sun in his chest, and apparently tears could be hot, too. There was too much rage building up inside. Bobby let out a frustrated cry and kicked over the incense burner, the camping lantern doing down with it. Turning, he almost hit a paper lantern and he whacked it off the tree as he headed back inside the house.

Rose caught up to him and frantically tried to block his path.

“Bobby, I sincerely apologize, I did not know it was going to be like that,” she placated. He paused as she stood before him, pleading. “If you need me to, I can get you a different present, I just wanted to do this because you had seemed interested and thought we would have a fun night together - Bobby, I am so sorry!”

Looking back at her, he sighed heavily and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You don’t need to get me anything else,” he told her solemnly.

Ray had joined them and put an arm around each of them. A twinge of reminder came to Bobby as he recalled Luke doing the same thing for him. But coming from Ray, it still had the warmth and love connected to it that he needed. He looked between the two of them.

“That was a bust,” he said. They all chuckled a little, albeit with heavy hearts. “But having you guys still made it a good birthday.”

His friends both muttered an “aw” and they came together in a group hug. Bobby sighed as they both squeezed him so tightly before breaking away.

“So what do we wanna do, then?” he asked.

“We could watch Wayne’s World,” Ray suggested.

“Baby,” Rose objected, giving him a look.

“What?” he lifted his hands defensively. “I could make a dip, we could grab some tortilla chips, you know I love dips.”

“But Bob -”

“No, I like that idea,” Bobby interrupted. “Ray makes some good dip, I’ll give him that. I think we can hold off on the meditation for now. Wayne’s World it is.”

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #bobby #bobby wilson #fanfic #happy birthday bobby #birthday celebration #tw: death #tw: anxiety #tw: ptsd #tw: funeral #tw: survivor's guilt

29 notes · View notes

bluescluelessly · 4 years

Note

Can we see Obi-wan getting the hugs he deserves? (preferably gen)

[Rating: T] || [tw: slavery mention]

For once in his life, Obi-Wan Kenobi is eager to get to a medbay. As Ahsoka breaks off to speak with the Togrutan Governor, he splits off with Plo and Anakin's group, following them as his former padawan and his fellow council member discuss the reconstruction and relief efforts the Republic will be making.

He keeps a smile on his face, his shoulders up, back straight, and barely listens. He gives his input where it's asked for, nods approvingly at what they say, and then at the first break in conversation, he begs off. "Ah- you two certainly have things handled from here. I think Helix might kill me if I don't have have my shoulder looked at, so if it's all the same, I'll leave you to it."

He gives them both a quick nod and farewell, then follows the steady stream of clone troopers and (former) Togrutan slaves towards the medbay on Plo Koon's flagship. As he walks, he recognises several refugees who were direct victims of his attempts to 'help'. He averts his eyes after that, unable to bear the weight of the guilt he feels for their suffering.

At least no more will suffer for his attempts to make things better. But that isn't true, is it? The great and terrible General Kenobi, bringing peace to world after world by force. He goes where the war does... or perhaps war follows hot on his heels.

No. Focus. Mind clear, eyes ahead.

His posture goes rigid, eyes fixating forward and catching on the nearest Togrutan victim. She's limping, clearly struggling to walk...

She needs help. He could go up to her, offer her his good shoulder to lean on--

The ghostly buzzing of an elecrowhip stings his ears, and he flinches irrationally.

He has to duck into an empty hallway for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut and leaning against a wall. The cold durasteel against his forehead helps, mostly.

He must get ahold of himself.

Why can't he move past these feelings? Why won't the Force accept his guilt, let him release it. Why is it so different from last time?

He's been a slave before... he remembers it, if only vaguely. A month spent on bandomeer, an explosive collar 'round the slight neck of his 13 year old self.

It hadn't hurt so much, then.

What makes this encounter so different? What-- no, don't think about it, don't think don't thinkdon'tthink---

Obi-Wan stays there for a moment, frozen as he's torn between trying not to think and trying to force himself to move past this moment. He still needs to get to the medbay.

It takes longer than he would like to admit to collect himself. Once he has, Obi-Wan leaves the hallway, rejoining the procession to the medbay. Meditation and rest, that's what he needs. He'll be fine once he has that.

Meditation and rest, that's all. Right foot, left foot. Keep going, down the hall.

He almost doesn't notice when he reaches his destination, eyes downcast. He's just become part of the flow of people around him, head down, feet dragging as exhaustion creeps in on him.

The only tell that he's entered the medbay is the sight of the threshold as he crosses it, and the sound of gruff clone voices guiding people where they need to be.

Finally, his head lifts, and he takes in the sights around him.

Dozens of Togruta are scattered around the room in varying degrees of distress. He feels tears begin to sting his eyes as he sees a man laid face down, still as death while a medic cleans the electrolash wounds on his back and lekku. The wounds must hurt terribly to be touched, but the elderly Togrutan simply doesn't have the energy to flinch as each lashing is sterilized and then covered with a bacta strip.

His eyes fixate on that one man, frozen to the spot. He doesn't move, not until he feels a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch from the suddenness of it.

The clone who touched him immediately lets go, seeming shocked by his reaction. "General Kenobi, sir," the man says, and Obi-Wan belatedly recognizes him as Wolffe, Plo's Commander. "Are you here for medical assistance?"

It takes Obi-Wan's brain a second to catch up to the present. "I- er. Yes. My shoulder--" he cuts off, which he knows is unlike him. Glancing around the room, he hedges slightly. "It can wait. You have more pressing injuries to tend to."

"Nonsense, sir." Wolffe says, jerking his head to indicate that Obi-Wan should follow him before he walks along the medbay. "We have plenty of beds and hands to go 'round. I'll get you settled and a medic will take a look at your shoulder. Anyways, I know Helix would have my head if I let you sneak away the one time you voluntarily come to a medbay, sir."

The point makes a tense smile crack across his face. Clearly, his medical officer has a reputation even outside of the 212th and 501st. "Commander, don't tell me you're scared of Helix," he manages to tease.

"Scared?" Wolffe asks, the brow of his blinded eye arching judgementally. "That maniac took down half a dozen droids with just his medkit once. I'm terrified, and frankly, sir, you'd be wise to fear him too."

Obi-Wan remembers that. The infirmary tent was ambushed, and by the time Obi-Wan got back to assist, those in the tent had it handled already. Between Helix and those troopers who were still conscious and able to shoot, the ambush was soundly reduced to scrap metal.

Hm. Perhaps he should be more wary of igniting his medic's ire.

"... point taken, Commander Wolffe." Obi-Wan responds, letting himself be led to an empty bed.

There are still plenty more open, so as Wolffe said, his worries of taking up someone else's space are unfounded. Obi-Wan winces as he pulls himself onto the bed, making his shoulder light up with pain. He brushes off any offer of help however, his heartbeat jumping irrationally at the prospect.

Once he's settled on his bed, Wolffe calls over a free medic, and then bids him farewell, moving on to the next person in need of help.

His wounds (far more extensive than just the shoulder, but nothing critical) are quickly cataloged by the junior medic, then he is given some water and told to relax.

He doesn't, not quite.

It's downright impossible for him to really calm his mind, but he is exhausted. After several stretches of time spent staring listlessly at the ceiling and not thinking, Obi-Wan manages to fall into a restless sleep. (... With the aid of the water and a couple pills left as an option to him.)

°|●*.•

When he wakes again, there is a hand on his back, shaking him.

Obi-Wan jolts, involuntarily shuddering at the touch before he forces himself to be more awake. He's still in the medbay, the smell of bacta and sterilizer gives that away. His face is wet, though. Did they need to put bacta on--

Oh, no, those are his tears.

"Obi-Wan," a voice he recognizes as Anakin's cuts through the fog of his sleep-addled mind.

He manages a grunt, then rolls on his back and props himself up using his good shoulder. His other still hasn't been tended to, so he can't have been here that long.

"Anakin?" He greets, quickly wiping the tears from his face. He must have been crying in his sleep-- nothing new, at least in recent times. He's not sure exactly what it was for, but it isn't hard to imagine. There are plenty of tearworthy tragedies in this room alone.

There's a little bit of awkwardness as Anakin appears to have difficulty finding something to say, so Obi-Wan helps. "I thought you'd be busy still. I know there's still so much to do... I apologize for slacking."

Anakin shakes his head quickly, looking like he wants to reach out before thinking better of it, given how Obi-Wan flinched as he woke. "There's not much, really. Our part is pretty much over, we're just supposed to rest and recover." He pauses, unsure. "Are you okay? You were crying."

The older Jedi's shoulder begins to ache, so he pulls himself up to sit properly and lean against the headboard. He hasn't had a chance to change-- his clothing is still torn, and smells of the filthy mineshaft, and smoke.

"I'll be fine," he promises, eyes downcast as he prays it will be true. "There is so much pain in the force, I can't quite help a few tears." That is far from the true reason, but he hopes it is enough to satisfy Anakin's curiosity.

“A few tears,” Anakin repeats, voice oddly flat. His shoulder twitches in another aborted attempt to reach out. “Obi-Wan... you were sobbing.” The elder Jedi’s gut drops as he listens. “You wouldn’t wake up, they called me here to see if I could help.”

It’s only then that Obi-Wan notices the pair of medics hovering nearby. He feels a sudden flush of embarrassment. Stupid. How could he be so idiotic as to sleep in such a public place, knowing he would have nightmares?

He should have gone back to his quarters first...

Only, the 212th is still several hours away, and he was so exhausted...

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, fighting the ridiculous urge to hug himself. He is a Jedi Master, a Council member.

Anakin is shaking his head. “What? Why? Obi-Wan, are you sure you’re okay?”

He isn’t. “You shouldn't have needed to cone down here to wake me up. I... I'm alright. It was just a nightmare."

"Master," Anakin starts firmly, and moves a little closer, feeling bold. "First of all, I was gonna come see you anyways, so you didn't... inconvenience me, or whatever ridiculous thing you're thinking. Second, if you're hurting, I don't care what work I have, I'm gonna come to help you."

Obi-Wan's knee-jerk reaction is to think about how very against the code that is. Worryingly so. But that thought is quickly overridden by the warmth he feels upon Anakin's declaration of loyalty, of unconditional friendship.

What did he ever do to deserve a padawan with such a gentle heart?

Obi-Wan relaxes a bit, for the first time in days. "... thank you, Anakin." He finally responds, letting out a breath he feels he's been holding for weeks.

"I mean it," Anakin insists. "No thanks needed." He pauses, and Obi-Wan thinks he can sense a faint buzzing from Anakin's mind.

He can tell his former Padawan is trying to send him reassuring, comforting feelings through the force... he's radiating protective warmth like an emotional space heater. If Obi-Wan felt ready to share the state of his own mind, he would be basking in it.

As it is, he keeps his mind and force signature firmly closed off.

No need to show Anakin the horrors within.

As Obi-Wan struggles to think of something to say, Anakin appears to grow impatient. He clearly has questions, and he's never quite been the type to hold off on them, regardless of timing.

"Master... I don't..." he stops, having difficulty phrasing his question. "I mean. You don't cry... ever. What happened? What was your nightmare about? If... if you're okay with talking about it."

Obi-Wan almost laughs, but the sound sticks in his throat, becoming a choked noise.

What was he crying about? Look around, Anakin. The answer should be obvious, he wants to say.

He doesn't, though. He knows they've been in similar situations before, rescuing the citizens of Ryloth, for one. He didn't cry then, so why would now be any different?

Anakin's last concession sticks in his mind, though. Is he ready to talk about it? Can he bring himself to?

No.

Force, no. He can't even think about it.

His hand flutters awkardly as he struggles to find a place for it, resisting his urge to hug himself. "I... not right now, Anakin."

It's not a never, though. Obi-Wan knows... intellectually he knows that Anakin would understand. That, of everyone he knows, Anakin, a former slave and fellow Jedi, would understand the damage done to him. He may even have suggestions for how to help.

"Okay," Anakin hides his disappointment to the best of his ability. Obi-Wan appreciates the attempt, even if he sees through it. "... when you're ready, Obi-Wan. I'll be here, whenever you need me to listen."

The assurance brings a wan smile to Obi-Wan's face. "... I'll find you when I am, dear one."

No one can make Obi-Wan feel quite as safe and at ease as Anakin does.

The younger Jedi beams at the promise, moving a little closer. "Since you're not in a talking mood, want me to tell you how my part of the mission went, Master?"

The change of subject is a releif. Obi-Wan nods readily, happy to listen to Anakin's impromptu and likely dramaticized mission report.

He listens with rapt attention as Anakin goes through all of what he considers were 'the fun parts', making jokes and blowing quite a few details out of proportion.

It takes Obi-Wan's mind off his own experience, and he finds himself smiling along as Anakin finishes his story. By the end of it, Anakin is sitting on the edge of his bed, his thigh pressed along Obi-Wan's through the sterile sheets.

"Hey, Master?"

The epithet draws Obi-Wan's attention, and he nods to indicate Anakin shoukd go on.

Anakin is... a little hesitant. "Is it okay if I touch you? I wanna give you a hug, but not if it'll make you uncomfortable."

The question makes Obi-Wan's heart swell, and he finds himself nodding even before he consciously decides. "Anakin... yes, of course. I think we both could use one, after this mission."

Once again, Anakin beams, his force signature liked a supernova of happiness as he surges forward, wrapping his arms tight around Obi-Wan. "Yeah. And good, because I'm not letting go anytime soon, old man."

Obi-Wan ignores the pain in his shoulder. It's nothing compared to the warmth and security he feels right now in Anakin's embrace. He feels... cared for, loved, appreciated. All of the things that slave camp stripped from him.

It's gonna be okay, he realizes. This will pass, because he has Anakin here to help him make things right. When they're together, no challenge is too great, no problem is unsolvable.

Just as he's relaxing into the hug, getting comfortable for the duration, he hears quick footsteps and a gasp.

"Masters!" Ahsoka greets them cheerfully. "I just came to see how you're doing-- I didn't know it was hug Master Obi-Wan day! Can I have one too?"

"Get in here, snips," Anakin says, lifting an arm to make space for her.

"Always room for one more," Obi-Wan agrees more mildly, also making space to accommodate their padawan.

Ahsoka doesn't need to be told a third time; she squishes herself tight into the embrace, hugging both her teachers with all the strength in her limbs.

"We should hug more often," she says decisively.

"Definitely," Anakin agrees.

And well, Obi-Wan woukd say he's outnumbered, but he would agree either way. "We should," he responds softly, hugging them both a bit tighter.

They're a family, and he couldn't ask for a better one.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #kadavo arc #obi wan gets a hug #obi wan needs a hug #ahsoka tano #commander wolffe #hugs #team hugs #the trio #clone wars gang #clone wars #zyggeria fix it #prompt #coalmine301

194 notes · View notes

kyasarinkishinuma · 4 years

Note

So you know how Caesar used to be this thug on the streets who use hamon? So what about one day Caesar is roaming around and he sees this girl fighting by using hamon and she just beats the absolute shit out of her opponent, Caesar sees himself in her and like tries to convince lisa lisa to like take her in or something??

This prompt is really great! Thank you for requesting this, I love the idea (as well as Caesar, he's my favourite 'side character'). I hope you'll enjoy!

Also, I changed your scenario up a bit to make it more interesting (in my opinion). I hope you don't mind!

Caesar x Reader: Rebels

Life on Lisa Lisa's island was lonely.

Caesar was the only young Hamon trainee at the time, making it fairly difficult for him to interact with anyone in his age group. Not that he minded so much, though. When he wasn't flirting with cute girls in Venice's restaurants, he preferred to be alone, meditating in his room to practice his Hamon breathing. Very few dared disturb him.

He didn't dislike it, though. Caesar had been a loner ever since his father had left his siblings and he. Sure, he had a small gang in his thug days, but those following him mostly did out of admiration. Caesar had been a powerful, feared man of the streets. He barely ever lost to anyone.

His pride wouldn't allow him to be humiliated in such a way.

But those days were over, and far from glorious. He'd never go back, now that he had taken up his bloodline's quest for the Stone Mask.

It was a past that was so far, yet so close.

And it hit him in the face, one day, when he returned to his home city, Naples.

Caesar pulled his hat over his face as he quickened his pace in his former neighbourhood. He didn't want to risk getting recognized. Yes, he had changed a lot, but he had quite a number of followers in his thug days. And most importantly, he didn't want to drive his family out of the safety of their ignorance and into his perilous quest.

Once he reached a busier street, farther off, he gave off a long breath and leaned up against a wall to calm down. It was all right. This wasn't his home anymore. No one had recognized him. He had to carry out Lisa Lisa's orders.

After having collected himself, the Italian man stood back up, going on with his business as he merged into the bustling crowd.

Until some distant screams caught his attention.

He'd recognize that kind of scream anywhere.

Try as he might, he was unable to contain his curiosity. He slipped away toward the dark alleys from which the furious yells had sounded.

He felt his heart pounding as he got closer and closer to what he knew was a street fight. He really shouldn't get involved, but he just had to see.

And when he did, hidden behind a wall, his eyes popped right out of his head.

There was a street fight, all right. But he knew one of the fighters all too well.

It was one lady against three burly men.

And yet, the males were the ones yelling.

From what Caesar had seen, the girl was really pissing them off.

"You damn woman!" The leader of the trio seethed, a vein popping out from his neck. "You're fucking crazy!"

"Just give me back what you stole and we can put this behind us," calmly spoke the woman, arms crossed over her chest. Caesar gulped. He hadn't heard that voice in ages.

The men chuckled darkly, starting to close in on their target. "You don't know what's good for you, woman. You asked for it!"

They pounced.

She jumped.

As a result, the men's heads smashed together, making them wail as they stumbled back and cursed.

"What the--- Fuck!" The woman's first victim gave out a scream as he was gracefully punched in the jaw, sending him stumbling into a rock wall. Caesar stared on with wide eyes. For her size, the lady was incredibly strong.

Growling, another man went for the lone fighter, wrapping his chunky arms around her neck from behind to choke her. Helpless against his massive form, her face rapidly turned to a cherry-like colour, although she took a deep breath.

And then, she leaned forward, somehow flipping the man over her head to make him smash onto the ground.

As he howled and writhed in pain on the alley street, she calmly came up to him and kicked him in the face with her boot, knocking him out.

Caesar couldn't believe what he was seeing. This lady was single-handedly whooping these bulky thugs' asses. He would've intervened if it had been necessary, but it looked like he'd only be a witness today.

The woman turned back toward her ultimate opponent, the trio's leader. His face was growing redder and redder by the second. He was downright furious.

"You'll pay for that, you fucking broad..." He growled lowly under his breath, hands balling into fists.

A smirk tugged at her lips. "If you want a piece of this, come get it."

That was it. That was the final straw.

The burly man charged at the last fighter with a blood-curdling scream.

The lady stood, unfazed.

She was brutally bowled over by the oversized thug's strength, falling to the ground beneath his suffocating weight.

And yet, next thing the man knew, he was flying through the air. His face smashed into the alley wall, and he crumbled to the ground with a quiet groan before he passed out.

This time, Caesar had spotted the lady's little secret.

Her legs had been shining slightly when she kicked the brute off of her. And her breathing confirmed his suspicions.

She was using Hamon.

He had seen enough. Caesar emerged from behind his wall, clearing his throat gently as to alert the woman of his presence as he approached.

When she turned to face him, ready in a fighting stance, he couldn't help but smile fondly.

You, (Y/N), had not changed.

It didn't take long for you to understand what was going on. "...Caesar?" You whispered his name weakly, staring as you struggled to believe what you were seeing. "Is that really you?"

"(Y/N), bella, you haven't changed." He came up to stand in front of you, his height forced you to tilt your head up at him, as it always had. Grinning, "But it looks like you've got some new tricks up your sleeve."

You returned the grin. "Oh, Caesar, it's really you!" You threw yourself against him for a hug, giggling as joy washed over you. "It has been so long! I've missed you. How have you been?"

"I've been well," answered your old friend, gently returning the hug. "I've left the streets to start a better life. How about you?"

You pulled back, handing him a weak smile. "Me? I'm still here, I'm just same old (Y/N). It's been a bit rough on the streets, but I'm all right..." Your voice trailed off as you noticed how intensely your former gang leader was staring at you. "Hey, Caesar, don't look at me like that. It's weird."

"O-Oh," gasped Caesar, blushing slightly as he realized what he had been doing. "Sorry, (Y/N). It's just..." He gave you a serious look. "How long have you been fighting like I did?"

"Oh, you mean how long I've had this?" You held your fist up as it sparked slightly. The sight made you grin widely in pride. "Ever since you left. I had noticed how you breathed when you fought, so I tried it myself!"

"Ahh, I see..." Seeing you so proud made Caesar smile, yet worry. Hamon was a useful but dangerous ability to have, and you didn't know that. Neither one of you heard about Hamon in the streets...

"Hey, Caesar! Hellooooo? Earth to Caesar?" Said Italian man jolted out of his thoughts as he blinked, noticing the hand you had been waving in front of his face. You were observing him, arms crossed as you pouted at him. "There you are! You know, it's rude not to listen when someone is talking to you!"

Caesar chuckled at that, focusing his bright eyes back on you. His smile was back. "I know, I know. My apologies, (Y/N). But, I must tell you something..."

His seriousness caught your attention. And so he guided you out of the dark alley to someplace safer and nicer, in a local park full of flowers.

And he told you everyone he knew about Hamon.

He left out the part about the Stone Mask. He didn't want to make you panick if it wasn't necessary.

However, he did want you to leave the streets to come and train with him.

"If you come, you will master this ability," explained your friend, gazing at you pleadingly. "(Y/N), please. I want you to come with me. Come and start a new, better life."

You gave a long sigh as you struggled to process all of this new information. So Caesar and you weren't the only ones who wielded this power? It was a power that had been carried down from generation to generations by Hamon masters...

But he was asking you to leave Naples, the only home you knew. You had never been beyond this city, you knew nothing else of this world. Could you really just leave with him?

He was your best friend, yes, but... This was where you belonged.

You nodded solemnly after a moment, looking at your friend sadly. "I'm sorry Caesar, but... I can't come with you."

*****

Caesar could no longer live with his past. Not when he knew you were out there, living in dark, rat-infested alleys. Not when he knew you could be here, training with him.

He needed his friend by his side. Especially when Joseph Joestar arrived, dooming them both to fight the Pillar Men.

Caesar needed you to lean on.

He pleaded Lisa Lisa to take you in. He promised he'd work harder, he promised he'd protect the Red Stone with his life.

But Lisa Lisa would only ever shake her head.

"Caesar, we cannot force her to come here. You must understand."

He knew that. But he didn't want to accept it.

He wanted to see his best friend's face, one more time.

But he never got the chance.

*****

A bouquet of flowers. That was all that was left of Caesar, brought to you by Joseph Joestar.

Your world crumbled around you at the tragic news. And suddenly, you oh so regretted not agreeing to his offer, back when he had seen you a few years ago. What if you could've saved him? What if you could've died in his place?

You grew miserable. You grew depressed.

Naples no longer felt like home, now that Caesar's memories no longer breathed into it.

No, Caesar's memory was now elsewhere, you understood.

It was in the sparks your Hamon produced.

And you'd keep his memory alive, you decided.

Even if it meant starting all over like he had.

[END]

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo part 2 #jojo #jojo's+bizarre+adventure+x+reader #jojo+x+reader #jojo imagines #jojo's bizarre adventure imagines #jjba x reader #jjba imagines #caesar zeppeli x reader #caesar zeppeli imagines #jojo battle tendency #jojo battle tendency x reader #jojo part 2 x reader #jojo reader insert #jjba reader insert #jojo's bizarre adventure reader insert

142 notes · View notes

jovialyouthmusic · 3 years

Text

Lovelink fanfic

Featuring Albert Bishop from Ludia’s fake dating app.

Word count 1868

A/N I’ve had this on hold for a while. Not sure where it’s going, but it’s still moving - just. Definitely NS*W

Holed Up

I felt stupid for going too far with Albert – calling him soldier when he was trying to cope with trauma. I’d left him alone to change and listened for the front door closing. After I’d washed up the breakfast things and tidied up I wasn’t sure what to do, but in the end I decided on yoga. It would calm and centre me, and I’d be better able to cope with Albert when he got back. I changed into my gear, cleared a space in the lounge, and set out my mat. I chose some ambient music and was soon stretching and letting go of any negativity I felt. I went through my routine and sat to meditate afterwards, clearing my mind and focussing on my breath. It didn’t seem long before I heard the doorbell again and he was back. I ran lightly to the door and he grinned at the sight of me in my yoga pants, looking me up and down with a gleam in his eye.

‘Damn Ma’am, those pants don’t leave much to the imagination’ I stepped back as he made to kiss me, putting my hand against his chest.

‘Now just hold up there Albert. You’ve worked up quite a sweat, so it’s off to the bathroom for you.’ I paused for effect ‘though I could join you if you like, yoga doesn’t always leave me smelling sweet either.’ His slow smile melted my core and told me that he had run fast and far enough to escape his demons.

‘Yes Ma’am’ he saluted and made his way to the bathroom. I fetched some towels and followed him. Already he had stripped and folded his clothes in a neat pile and grinned at me, already somewhat aroused before I had so much as taken my t shirt off. I had a hard time tearing my eyes away from his broad chest, flat belly and...

‘How about a nice hot bath? I suggested ‘There’s room for both of us’

‘Sounds good’ he said, watching me strip off my top. ‘You must be very flexible if you’re a – what do they call it – a yogini?’ I smiled seductively

‘I’m sure you can think of a way to find out. Running calls for stamina, so I guess we can do a little measuring experiment – flexibility versus stamina’ I went to the tub and turned the taps on to run the bathwater.

‘Sounds like an experiment I can get behind, but I think I’ll get clean in the shower first, then we can relax in the bath’ He leaned against the wall, arms folded and one foot resting against the tiled wall as I stripped, whistling with appreciation as I peeled my leggings off. He gave me another scorching look before turning the shower on and stepped in, not waiting for the water to heat up, grunting as the icy stream hit his skin. I bit my lip, watching appreciatively as he lathered himself off, watching his hands move over his muscled body.

He got out and waved me in and I stepped under the now warm cascade, soaping myself as he got into the bath. I heard him groan as he lay back, and was soon ready to join him. He opened his legs wide and beckoned me.

‘Let me wash your hair’ he said. I got my shampoo and stepped in, looking down at him for a moment and handing him the bottle before I sank to my knees and turned to sit with my back to him. I had a shower attachment to the bath taps and handed it to him to wet my hair, the warm water cascading over my head. I closed my eyes to let it flow over them before he handed it back to me to turn it off. I felt and heard him put shampoo onto his palms and rub them together before starting to massage it into my scalp with just the right amount of pressure. I moaned in appreciation.

‘How do you know how to do this so perfectly?’ He laughed softly.

‘I have nieces’ he said ‘You soon learn to be gentle when their shrieks shatter your eardrums at bathtime’

‘Your brothers have families?’

‘Yes, both of them. Two girls and a boy. I’m the fun uncle that gets them all riled up before bedtime. It’s great to look after kids when you can give them back’

‘Ha, my best friend has a little girl. You also figure out how to calm them down when you babysit and are responsible for getting them to sleep. Then you can get the snacks and chill in front of the TV’

‘Ah, see they never trust me that far. Do a job badly enough and you won’t be asked to do it again’

‘That doesn’t sound worthy of a military man’ He gestured for the shower attachment again and I handed it to him.

‘I have to let go some time, and I only do it to get back at my brothers for all the ribbing they give me for not joining them on the trawler’ The clean water sluiced the suds off my hair, and I closed my eyes against the sting.

‘Did you ever want to go with them – would you?’

‘No, I wanted to break out on my own. I enjoy my job, and I’ll be happy to go to university when I’m done. I’m applying for the course I want right now – my promotion will hopefully make a good impression on the application forms.’ He handed me the shower to put away, and I turned to face him, kneeling and putting my arms around his neck to kiss him long and slow.

‘Well Albert, the water’s not getting any warmer’ I pointed out ‘In or out?’ He grinned slyly, and I shook my head at the double entendre ‘of the water’ I added.

‘I definitely think we should christen it and find out how flexible you are’

‘Hmm’ I replied ‘Well, I could try a kneeling pose I suppose’ I knelt with my thighs either side of his, belly and breasts pressed to him, his erection increasing in appreciation. He put his hands on my sides and helped guide me up and forward ‘In a hurry?’ I teased ‘Don’t forget the condoms’ He sighed, and with a flourish I reached up to the shelf on the wall behind him and produced a foil packet.

‘You really do think of everything’ He took the packet from me and started to tear it open carefully with his teeth and fingers.

‘I went round putting them wherever I guessed we might need them’ I reached down and wrapped my fingers around his length. He grinned

‘Right about now is where I’d say you’re so wet baby but I can’t tell’

‘That is such a cheesy line’ I sighed ‘Please don’t use it again’

‘No ma’am’ He pushed my hand aside and rolled the condom over himself. I sat up as tall as I could, pressing my belly to his chest. He groaned and turned his head slightly to set his lips to one of my nipples, flicking it with his tongue.

‘No nipping’ I scolded ‘Play nice’ He let the nipple go with a soft pop.

‘I always play nice with girls’ I sank lower to start guiding him inside me, sighing with satisfaction as I stretched and settled.

‘Slow and steady now, let’s not flood the bathroom. I don’t want to get chucked out of my flat for anti social behaviour. It’s a nice neighbourhood’

‘I’m sure I could find a nice remote little bolthole where we could make as much noise as we like’

‘Shut up and concentrate, soldier’ I assessed that he was relaxed enough for me to use the term again, and was rewarded by a slow smile.

‘Yes Ma’am’ I closed my eyes to savour the feeling of him filling me and the warm water swirling around our bodies. I pivoted and angled my hips rather than rising and falling, give in him a quick kegel squeeze from time to time, and grinding my pelvis against his. He gripped my hips and bent his knees a little to change the angle until I gasped every time we found my sweet spot. Soon I was oblivious to the swishing and swirling of the water, intent on our pleasure. I felt it bubble up from deep inside me, and groaned in anticipation, my back arching. Arnold took my cue and I felt him start to twitch. Together we shot upward to oblivion, to shared bliss, shuddering and shaking as we came together, seeming both to last forever and be over in an instant, leaving us heaving for breath.

I pulled back to let him slide out of me, leaning back against the tap end of the bath, water sloshing and just topping the sides of the bath to splash out onto the floor. Arnold sat, head tipped back, breathing heavily

‘Fuck’ he panted, and it was a little while before he could speak again ‘You know – how you said – it was – oh fuck’ He took a deep breath ‘I’ve never come with anyone like that so often’ I furrowed my brow.

‘I’m not sure I understand’

‘We – we come together – at the same time. Every fucking time. I’ve only managed that once or twice before.’

‘Oh’ I was nonplussed

‘Is that normal for you?’ He asked, still not moving from the rapidly cooling bath water.

‘Uh – no’ I replied, and thought about it for a moment ‘I suppose we’re pretty special together – though it’s early days’ I shifted from my end of the bath, which wasn’t exactly comfortable, and pulled the plug out. At last Albert moved, removing the condom and heaving himself up to get out, offering his hand to help me. We towelled off and I went to the bedroom to get dressed. He followed me and caught my hand as I opened my lingerie drawer.

‘No panties today’ he grinned ‘Just wear that sexy nightie for the rest of the day’ I smiled and rummaged in the drawer, finding a scrap of red fabric that I held up for him to see.

‘Not even this tiny thong?’

‘Nope, no underwear’ He stood close to nuzzle my neck and smoothed his hands over my buttocks, pulling me against him.

‘Only if you go bare chested’

‘Deal’ He put on his boxer briefs and a pair of combat pants and I slipped on my silky robe again. He frowned. ‘If you’re cold, turn the heat up, I want to see as much flesh as possible’

‘I could be naked’ I said, raising an eyebrow

‘Hmm good as that sounds, I think a little mystery is good’ He skimmed his hand over the fabric ‘Plus it feels good’

‘Well okay soldier – maybe we should eat, keep our strength up’

‘Sure thing, Ma’am. I hope you’ve plenty of supplies, I intend to give you a thorough workout before I have to go back to base.’

‘There’s always takeaways’ I said over my shoulder as I went to the kitchen.

@kittidot @jaxsmutsuo @ramseyswifey @otakufangirl-12 @mostly-tessaandscott @aestheticallypleasing5sos @sunflowy @celiamcg @basicallysailormars @fabi-en-ciel @rdjcoldplay @cyn-onlyyou @american-satanxx @exxtrastout @callmeluna7 @theclowneryqueen @speedyoperarascalparty @katedrakeohd @notoriouscs @bobasheebaby @fluffyfirewhiskey

#lovelink #lovelink fanfic #albert bishop

45 notes · View notes