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trulyhblue · 28 days

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Bf Leah being wound up after a bad game and takes control. Smut pls!!!!

BLED BLUE

leah williamson x chelsea! reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, humiliation, dom/sub dynamics, age gap (legal + consensual), hate sex, enemies w/ benefits, rough, coarse language.

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Part of you wondered how long it would take Leah to take you home. There was not an ounce of blue in her body, taken only by the lifelong allegiance to North London, but the thought of you, a blue-born Chelsea girl, taking up the space under her sheets, was addictive.

Chelsea were the better team. Always was, and always will be. The Blues were better at everything. Their players were more advanced, their game plans had been executed to perfection. Arsenal were sloppy, poor, and unjust. It was embarrassing to the point where it stood out as entertaining to you. Seeing the almighty, reigning Arsenal fall on their knees and succumb to the superiority of your team was endearing, and you found yourself searching for the thrill increasingly more as the game progressed.

And the sight of the woman you hated oh so much angered by the defeated notion of the final whistle was your idea of an indescribable victory.

“What a shame, Williamson.” You snagged, clutching the fabric at your hips, looking down at her bent figure. “I thought you’d play well.”

“Ah, it is you.” She replied with just as much spite. “I thought I saw someone falling flat on their face. Makes sense now that I know it was you.”

You smirked, folding your arms over your chest. “Yeah, tried to show my humility… y’know, after scoring two goals tonight I thought it was only necessary.”

Leah scoffed, straightening her posture to display her authoritative height over you. “Both off deflections… sounds brilliant.”

“Player of the match worthy.” You bit back, stepping forward, pressing your chest against hers, suppressing the heat in your face. “Don't worry, I’ll make sure to credit your own goal in the interview.”

“Always have an excuse to talk about me. Can't stop, can you?”

“Is that what you think of me?”

“I don't think of you.” Leah shook her head, grabbing the hem of your shorts and fiddling with them persistently. “But if I did, I’d be sure to let you know.”

“If only I cared enough to hear it.” You tutted, not really caring about the openness of your situation. The stadium was still quite full, with both of your teammates lingering on the field. Fans were banking the barricade, no doubt looking for the two of you.

“I could tell you now if you’d like.”

“Aw, are you thinking of me now, Williamson?”

You felt Leah’s hand move to the inside of your thigh, pressing a tight pinch to gain any type of reaction from you. Biting your lip, you hoped that the post-game redness covered your blush.

“I bet you love the thought of people watching this, don't you?” She asked, glaring at you with such hatred that her words felt bittersweet. “Always so desperate for attention that you’d do it in front of everyone. Fucking needy.”

“You’re the one touching me.” In anger, you snapped. You didn't like the way Leah seemed so confident, so right in what she was saying. You wanted to be right. You were the one who won it for your team. You were better than her. She needed to realise that.

The only separation between the two of you was by your arms crossed over your chest. Leah was drawing furious patterns along your thigh, pressed up against you with her face above you, your height earning her to look down.

“Pull away then.” She uttered, now pulling you into a hug. You knew this would send fans into a spiral. Everybody knew about your rivalry with Leah. It was evident in the tackles, the cards, the teams, the games, the interactions. This was unclaimed territory. You had both teased each other after the games. There was always fire and spite, anger and resentment, but never contact. She told you to pull away, and by the tension that lingered, if you did she would let you have there was something else there. You felt it between your legs, running down your spine, making your core yearn.

It was in the way she kept her hand in between your thighs, deepening her fingers just below where you needed her most. She held you tight, closing any physical gap, forcing your arms to circle her waist as she wrapped her spare arm around the name on the back of your shoulders. You don't know why, but you held her back just as tight, breathing heavily when she started moving her fingers upwards.

“So tense.” She spat, rubbing your shoulder.

You shook her arm off, keeping the contact but still resistant. “I pulled it at training, of course it is.”

“Wasn't talking about your shoulder, baby.” She chuckled, her voice sending goosebumps down your neck. “In those thighs. Clenching them so hard and I'm hardly touching ‘em.”

That was when you knew your cheeks were burning.

There was a hint of humiliation in your tone, but your anger was still prevalent. “I didn't even notice your hand.”

“Yeah, alright.” Williamson grinned, pulling away. You felt the cold air nip your cheeks at the sudden loss of contact. Her fingers were no longer soothing the ache in between your legs. “Alright, baby, no, all that flushed cheeks from the big game, hm? Breathing so heavily cause you scored two goals, is that you’re so wet for me?”

“I’m not— you're so—”

Leah stepped away again, and you were too stupid to step forward in response. “God, is that what you're gonna sound like in the interview? You a mess, Baby, really. All flustered and red.”

“I'm not red.” You snapped. “And stop calling me baby. You're only four years older than me.”

Leah could see straight through you. “But you love that though.” She saw straight past your visible persona. “Why don't you show me how mature you are then? Can't call you baby if you prove that you're not.” She could tell by your flustered state, your wide eyes and your tainted disposition that you were struggling to handle the conversation.

“I don't need to prove anything to you. I just won the match. That's enough to prove that I'm better anyway.”

“But you needed help to get there, didn't you?” She retorted. “It’s not your name on the score sheet, it's mine. Look,” she pointed up to the screen, almost condescendingly, above the stands, where WILLIAMSON (OG) was printed boldly in white below the score. “All that hard work and I still get the mention.”

There was a fight for dominance, but the fight was so clearly won when you audibly gulped, unable to come up with just enough answer to compel yourself into a deeper state of anger. If anything, you were willing to resort to forbidding, but you were stubborn and bled blue.

“You’re just mad that you lost and we won. Chelsea was always better anyway, and you were just too slow… bet that's always the case.”

Leah’s jaw clicked, her lips settling into a thin line.

“In what case?” She muttered distinctly.

“You know what case.” You failed to notice the challenge, finding yourself in a superior position of confidence to realise the hole you were digging for yourself. “Slow and boring… on and off the pitch. You definitely get around, but you never seem to see one person twice. Maybe that's because they don't want to see you.”

Leah grabbed your wrist, yanking you off the field. It was a tradition that you would see the fans after every game, so you tugged back in retaliation.

She pivoted to face you, glaring at you with so much affliction that you yearned for more.

“You seem really interested in how I ‘get around’. Sounds like you wish it was you.”

No matter how hard your body was willing to succumb to her words, you stood firm by scoffing, rolling your eyes at her cockiness. “If only I was so desperate.”

“I’ll show you just how desperate I can get you.” The captain spat, holding your forearm now, easily leading you further down the tunnel where fans or players could no longer find you. “Didn't even properly touch you before and you were a needy mess.”

“You’re always so fucking sure of yourself, aren't you, Williamson?” You snapped back, hearing the clad of your boots fail to drown out your ungrateful tone. You did not care for what Leah was so keen to impress you with. Never had anyone told you that Leah did not impress. She was determined to make sure everyone was supplied with the right things for their needs. She valued giving pleasure over receiving. But if there was one thing she hated, it was brats like you.

You stood outside the Chelsea changing rooms, your kit still adorned on your figure.

“Go get your shit.” She snarled, letting go of your arm and jabbing you forward.

You scoffed, stopping dead in your tracks. “And what? You're gonna wait for me and drop me home? I have a license, Williamson, I'm not your fucking—”

You couldn't finish your rant, yelping when Leah cut you off, grabbing the collar of your shirt and mashing her lips against yours. One of her legs found its way between yours, her knee pushing against your core. A moan fell from your lips, and the woman wasted no time in slipping her tongue in, caging your figure between you and the wall.

She waited until you were kissing her back before grabbing your neck. She instantly moved down to litter harsh kisses down the nape of your neck, using her hands to move underneath your shirt, massaging your breasts. You were a mess beneath her, breathing heavily when the pressure on your clit intensified when her knee started rubbing patterns up and down.

“Swear at me again and see how it turns out for you.” She muttered in your ear, relishing the whines that fell from your lips as her knee continued its work. “If I tell you to grab your bag, that's what you do, yeah? You understand, Chelsea?”

The nickname left you shrinking, her words making your core glisten. You weren't completely sure whether the Arsenal girl was planning on taking you home. You didn't understand why you were all of a sudden pretty much moaning at the friction of her knee.

But you weren't fucking complaining.

“My teammates are in there.”

Leah let out a laugh. “You had no problem letting me touch you in a filled Stanford Bridge, Babygirl. I think it’d be healthy if your teammates realised who fucks their Stargirl after a home game.”

“You haven't fucked me, yet.” Your cheeks flushed a deep crimson, the thought of the England captain fucking you sending you into a spiral.

“Go get your bag and then I can use that pretty mouth for something other than moaning my last name… not that I mind when you do that.”

You wasted no time in doing as you were told, forever thankful that all of your teammates were either still interacting with fans or showering. You grabbed all of your stuff and quickly followed Leah over to the away changing rooms.

She let you walk through, since none of the girls were present, grabbing your belongings and chucking them inside her cubby. You felt her figure cage you back into the nearest wall, her hands how playing with the hem of your shirt, inching it further up your waist until it was completely disregarded, and you were left in your sports bra and shorts.

“Why so quiet?” Leah asked, kissing down the column of your neck, fondling your breasts. You sighed at the growing ache in your core, throwing your head back when Leah’s knee came back into contact with your clit.

“Some— someone’s going to walk in.”

Leah snorted. “Like you would mind.”

You huffed, grabbing the back of her neck and pushing her head further down your body. Leah’s knee stopped in return, leaving you writhing at the loss of pressure.

“Use your words or you can get off yourself.”

“Like you could get me off.” You retorted.

“I don't make brats cum.” She spat, moving back up to tower over you. “I edge them until they’re desperate and getting themself off my thigh. I treat them like brats, and maybe you need to work a little fucking harder for what you want.”

“You were just teasing me!”

“You're just desperate.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Leah.” There it was. Music to her ears.

“What?”

You whined, using your hips to drag yourself along her knee.

“What was that, Baby? Couldn't hear you under all those whines.”

“Leah, c’mon.” You stated potently, getting more impatient by the minute. “I'm not begging.”

The number six shrugged, looking down at you with wide, innocent eyes like she had no clue what you were going on about. Like she didn't even realise that you were humping her leg longing for some relief.

“Begging for what?” She moved her finger painstakingly down your chest, tracing your abs ever so slowly.

“For you.”

“For me?” She questioned, feigning confusion. Her hand dipped into the waistband of your shorts, circling your clit over your underwear. “Answer me, Darling. What do you want me to do? I'm touching you.”

“Touch me more.”

Leah tutted, moving her hand away. You groaned, throwing your head back when no pleasure was offered. “I'm afraid that's not how you ask. It might get you somewhere at Chelsea, but at Arsenal, we treat our Captains with respect. Even our star girls use their manners in the North end.”

“Touch me more, please.”

“Where, Chelsea?” Leah moved closer to you, peeling off her own shirt, removing your shorts, leaving you in your underwear and bra. “Be a good girl and tell me where.” She asked, her body lowering itself closer to the ground. You watched her kneel before you, hands gripping your waist, kneading your hips, lips biting your inner thigh.

“My clit, Lee, please. I need you to touch me there.”

“Such a good girl for your Captain, aren't you?” Leah ran her tongue along your folds, your underwear pooled at your feet. Your legs were swung over her shoulders, your hands buried in her hair, pulling taunt to her ponytail and the hairs that had fallen out during the game. Your moans were still muffled by the bite in your lips, the nerves of someone hearing your desperation for your enemy is still evident in the way you kept your mouth shut.

It was when Leah’s tongue latched onto your clit, sucking harshly on the swollen bud that your noises fell so adamantly from your reddened lips. You felt Leah’s cocky smile, her chuckles sending vibrations of pleasure through your body.

“Sound so pretty, Baby.”

“Leah— fuck, Lee. I'm gonna—”

“You’re going to hold it. Taste so good, you can wait.”

The coil in your stomach was forming long before Leah had even started, and the more Leah attacked your bud, the more your orgasm led to burst. Your moans had doubled in volume when one of her hands came up to play with your nipple, pinching it and playing with the nub every time her tongue licked up your folds. Her other hand worked its way through your pussy, spreading your slick all over your thighs, letting it run down your shaking legs and make your skin glisten with the glossy arousal.

“Want Stanford to hear you,” Leah spoke from below you. You whined at the thought. You were in a state of pure bliss that all cautionary thoughts of interruption were so far gone. All you could think about was Leah’s face between your legs.

“Feels so good, Lee. Want to cum so bad for you.”

“You can hold it, baby.”

“Mh, Lee, please.”

Leah moaned at your whines, nuzzling her nose up against your clit, pinching your nipple hard, reeling at the moan you let out in response. She saw the way your hole clenched around nothing, smirking at the way you rolled your hips across her face, working your pussy into her mouth so easily. She felt powerful knowing she had you at her disposal. You were stunning always, but there was something about you now that set Leah off. It made her angry knowing that you weren't hers to fuck at her discretion. It made her protective over you in ways she had never felt before. You were Chelsea’s protege — everyone worried when going up against you.

“Leah.”

It wasn't like something had changed, but Leah had realised that her hate was actually protection and adoration. She wanted you for herself. She wanted to steer you away from anyone that would hurt you. She hated Chelsea, she despised the West side more than anything, and it wasn't the sex that made her realise this.

“Leah.”

It was her name coming from your lips.

“Cum for me, Baby.”

That was all you needed to hear before you were barreling over the edge, your legs relying entirely on the strength of Leah’s upper body to keep you balanced. Your moans exemplified the stimulation of your orgasm riding out, and Leah’s endeavours to lick the result of it up as it poured into her mouth and onto your thighs.

The woman made sure you had somewhat caught your breath before she moved, having a moment to catch her own breath and comprehend what just happened. When she knew you were able to stand independently, she moved over to her cubby, grabbing the baby wipes she always had handy, moving back down to her knees to clean the mess across your legs as you covered your chest back with your jersey, and later your shorts.

Leah moved to do the same, except she watched as you fumbled with what to do. She gave you a pointed look as if to question your thinking, and you simply sighed and waddled over to her, slight humiliation at your wobbly legs painting your cheeks as you grabbed your bag.

“You all good, Baby?” She asked, her voice no longer authoritative and rather empathetic.

“Yeah, thanks.” You nodded. “Erm… sorry for being… rude… actually I'm not sorry but I am.”

“Yeah, same,” Leah replied a cheeky grin settled on her complexion. “I think we can settle for friendly rivalry from now on.”

“If that's what you call this, then sure.” You added, laughing along with what to make of the situation, feeling more out of place than ever in the middle of the Arsenal room. “I better go.”

“I’ll drive you home.”

“Lee, I've got my license—”

“It wasn't a question, Chelsea.”

You stood there defeated, knowing internally that you had no way home after Millie had driven you to the stadium and would have left by now anyway. Leah must’ve known that by the way she wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her chest.

“Besides, wouldn't want that Player of The Match Trophy getting forgotten now, would we?”

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A/N — bad ending but oh well… HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!

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cannellee · 6 months

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Will you be sharing any yandere omega Tokyo revenge?? 🫣🫣

TOKYO REVENGERS YANDERE OMEGAVERSE ★

୨୧ alpha!yandere! Tokyo revengers x omega! Reader (pairing : mikey, draken, mitsuya, taiju, kokonoi, hanma, izana, sanzu)

— what is it like being in a relationship with them

cw : sex, manipulation, red flags 🚩...

(I'm not doing baji here but later since I got a separate request for him! enjoy!)

౨ৎ my other yandere work : baji

౨ৎ my masterlist : ☆

MIKEY

it's safe to say yandere alpha mikey is a bit protective, to say the least.

always questioning whether his omega will be safe or not, the all consuming fear of losing his relatives is so strong he can't help it.

you can't go out on your own obviously, mikey needs to keep you under his watch and make sure you're not in danger.

that's why he's almost always keeping you inside, only allowing you a brief taste of fresh air once in a while and only if he's with you.

he can't risk losing you.

alpha mikey is proud and possessive, a look your way and he's throwing hands and sending anybody to the hospital.

you learnt the hard way it's better for your safety and everyone's that you listen to him, because once he's set his mind on something, there's no going back.

will actually restrain you if you ever try to leave without his consent. why can't his omega stay still? he knows better than you, he knows what is safe and what isn't, so why are you so adamant to disobey him?

yes he prevents you from going out, yes he's the one who gets to decide what you can wear or not and yes if he tells you to strip, you strip. but, at the end of day, isn't he doing all that for you?

he knows how tough the outside world is, his sweet omega wouldn't last a day. he needs to shield her from the ever so unfair world and show her that mikey is the only one you need.

he can provide, he'll work hard just for you and he'll make sure you're always fed and have a roof over your head.

in exchange, you need to promise you'll stay right by his side.

your delicate self can't handle the roughness of the world.

TAIJU

yandere alpha taiju is violent, you can't change my mind.

he's obsessed with his omega and thinks the only way for him to protect her is to scare her enough she'll never think about disobeying, hence doing stupid things.

taiju is very sure of himself and he knows exactly what an omega like you needs.

you're weak and vulnerable, taiju is going to be your only support in life, be grateful.

wants pups and you'll give it to him. he has a predefined image of the perfect mate : a submissive omega, devoted to her alpha.

and that's what you better be if you don't want taiju to beat you into being a good little pet.

he has no problem using his pheromones to force you into submission either. you can plead and beg all you want, taiju will only stop once you've sworn you'll never upset him again.

you need to initiate pda, he acts like he doesn't like it when you do, but if you don't expect a grumpy taiju. he'll doubt your affection for him. why aren't you clinging to him like any lovesick omega would?

you're too dumb for your own good in taiju's eyes, omegas like you need an alpha in their lives otherwise they're lost and putting themselves in constant danger.

useless to mention, but you can count on taiju to never let you see the sun again. the only thing you need to focus on is him, your alpha. other people are futile.

MITSUYA

now mitsuya is smart and sweet. a great combo which makes your dumb omega brain so oblivious to his manipulation.

treats you like his doll, so delicate and precious, you need his care and attention. his omega is so needy :(

tells you what to wear, scolds you like a child when you misbehave, controls what you eat and your sleep schedule.

you can't handle yourself, mitsuya knows that, and that's why he's here<3

but you won't notice him slowy cutting off your contacts or progressively keeps you more and more inside his house until they point it out to you.

and you realise they're right. it's been so long since you've last went out, you're getting bored. but mitsuya is quick to reason his gullible mate.

how cute of you to think about going out when you have him right next to you! you don't like being with him? even though he des all those things just for you? how ungrateful:(

but mitsuya is so understanding, he knows you're just overwhelmed. don't worry, as your alpha mitsuya will make you feel better<3

now go and make a nest for the both of you, like the good omega you are!

mitsuya will soon come to cuddle you, he knows how needy you are for him<3 he'll praise you for doing so well to please your alpha and you'll thank him for being so kind and reliable. that's the perfect scenario in his head!

DRAKEN

now alpha draken is patient but he makes sure to keep you in line.

while mitsuya can be a bit lax on how you behave, draken will make it clear from the beginning he doesn't tolerate disrespect.

he loves you, he really does, that's why he's so strict when it comes to your relationship.

as his omega, you have your own role you need to follow. draken will follow his, keeping you safe and happy.

in the mean time, you listen to his words without any complaints or he'll have to punish you, and you know he hates that:(

he isn't too rough when it comes to punishment, he'll most likely scold you really harshly, scare you a bit and cuddle you. all of that to put you in your place a little and remind you that, while he can protect you, he also has the power to hurt you really bad.

but he doesn't! because he loves his omega, and you should thank him for that<3

when he's stressed, present yourself to him without a word and let him fuck you until he's satisfied. as a thank you, he'll buy you plushies, nest items... name it and it's yours!

if you obey well, a relationship with draken is actually really great!

KOKONOI

alpha kokonoi is dominant and tends to mock you when you don't listen.

he wants to make you feel dumb, so you don't tempt anything by yourself.

what do you mean you can decide on your own? of course you can't, that's what kokonoi is here for.

now shut up and listen to your alpha for once. you think you can actually be smarter than him? he's sure you're lost if he's not here to guide you.

kokonoi is absolutely delighted by the fact that you're financially dependent on him. and he makes sure it stays that way : not letting you work and cutting all of your ties with the working world.

now he's your only support and he feels so much pride and happiness to know he's that needed by his precious omega.

he will buy you tons of gifts, money doesn't matter when it comes to you. praise him and show him your love, that's all he wants as a thank you!

he is possessive, don't get mistaken by his soft tone and gentle smile.

he'll probably never really get into a fight ; he'd rather ruin someone's life forever. either by using his money or his connections, you know kokonoi can do great things.

he lets your relatives alone though, he knows you would never forgive him. but that doesn't mean he won't threaten you to hurt them if you were to misbehave. of course he wouldn't touch a hair, but you don't need to know that<3

HANMA

worst alpha ever. I hate him sm

alpha hanma has a laidback behaviour, which could trick you into thinking he actually doesn't care about your whereabouts.

but you find out soon enough that you can't escape him.

he's a scent lover, and really possessive. this combo makes him super clingy in an unbothered way (if that makes sense).

always groping you lazily while inhaling your flowery scent, his grasp appears soft but it tightens the more you try to wriggle out of it.

mocks you like you're the stupidest omega on earth, he makes you feel so small and helpless that you sometimes don't even talk back.

and while he gets off the fun it gives him to have a bratty omega by his side, he also loves it when you're submitting yourself to him, never challenging his authority over you.

expect hanma to be absolutely shameless when it comes to sex. he's touching you anywhere anytime, flicking up your skirt and bending you over when you're cooking, pushing you down to your knees when you're out in a dark alley... hanma doesn't care and neither should you.

but your embarrassment, unable to retort anything at all because he's your alpha and he can do whatever pleases him, makes him want to ruin you even more!

IZANA

as his omega, you're not leaving anytime soon.

he probably has you shackled and locked inside a beautifully decorated room, meant for his omega's use only.

it's full of nest items, plushies he precociously chose himself, tons of clothes that smell like him and the food he brings you when you've been good.

the sight would be very pitiful to any outsider, but to izana you looked so perfect, throning over his apartment like a delicate princess.

you can't get out of this room and only izana is allowed to come inside. that means he's the only person you can talk to.

he's so scared to loose you, the only person he loves so much that he's being extra careful!

he actually hopes his vulnerable omega will come to love him as much as he loves you if he's the only one in contact with you.

surely you'll grow desperate for human touch and throw yourself in his arms, right?

forcefully scents you and uses a system of privilege to push you into acting good.

actually thinks he's the reason why you're being a bad omega with him and is reviewing everything he's done so far.

misbehave and he's leaving you on your own for days or even weeks, you won't know for how long and you also won't know if he'll at least come back to feed you.

now you're left in the dark and silence of your room, with nothing to do but overthink and sleep. your brain quickly becomes hazy and cloudy, your mental state not helping at all.

once he's back, you better apologise and beg for him to never let his dumb omega alone again. show him just how much you need him, he relishes on your neediness for him.

your anguished whining and pleading, along with your sad scent is enough of a proof that you don't need any more punishment.

he loves that his method worked on you and that you've grown to become so dependent on him<3 he'll have to be more careful in the future though, it seems his omega is more vulnerable than he thought:(

SANZU

now sanzu probably is the worst alpha actually (I was a bit harsh with hanma😒)

is 100% drugging you. he can't have his omega disobeying him and being so trashy with him when he's only trying to cuddle.

you become so docile once you've swallowed a couple of pills sanzu can't help but abuse it.

he's making you gulp down the strangest of drugs. they now messed with your head and you never complain at all!

you've become the most clingy omega and he's not complaining! your glossy eyes and blurred speech is just so cute, you messy but sweet scent is like a drug on its own, he can't resist you<3

sanzu is one to drag you basically anywhere with him. but of course you're not allowed to speak or look at anyone beside of him.

that why you keep your eyes glued to the ground. and when you're at one of his club and you're left all alone for a few minutes, it doesn't matter if you're being bothered or harassed : shut up and wait for your alpha. he's not far away anyway.

the alpha that was being annoying is shot dead the moment sanzu sees him within a perimeter of 10 metres from to you.

by now, everyone is accustomed to his antics and know to never talk to you.

he has so shame as well, and will force you to have sex basically anywhere if he feels like it. especially if someone was about to threaten his claim on you.

you're his, nobody should even look at his property wth.

now he's fucking you on the couch of the vip room of his club, the music blasting outside making you dizzy and his pheromones forcefully wetting your entrance.

sanzu will never let you go, he'd rather die than doing so<3

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trxppedmind · 3 months

Text

Romantisized Borderline.

If you have bpd this may triggers you!

Why the fuck would people even do that?

"I wan't a borderliner as my significant other."

No you don't. Its hell for you and for them.

You want someone who is absolutely obsessed, to the point just a wrong breath make them think you hate them.

You want someone who's probably is suicidal, self-destructive and self harming? "I can fix them." No you can't. Neither i think you can stop them.

You want someone that is extremly lovingly and affectionate only to become distant, ignoring and maybe even offensive in a eyeblink because they got triggered into Splitting or rage?

You want someone that probably feels offended if you need time for yourself or do spend time with your friends and don't answer your phone.

You want someone that may shouts and yells in one moment, only to cry and feel guilty in the next moment, maybe begging you to stay?

You do realise that its not just from time to time, but every fucking day? If they have a bad day's maybe even hourly moodswings?

You want just to help them? Thank you, but that's not your task in a relationship/friendship. Take care of yourself because the chance that you just ruin yourself is high.

Fuck, imagine cuddling in bed in a comfortable silence, they overthought something and suddenly push you off, just because a single though.

Wanna know what the worst is?

Maybe you noticed that I am extremely aware of my bpd. But that doesn't mean i can change, or fix myself. Because with the sudden overwhelming emotion, my mind is drowning in things like selfhate and that everyone will leave, no more awareness or control. I think its like that for many borderliners.

Please don't romantisize something people are suffering from. Thank you.

#borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #actually bpd #bpd awareness #mental health #vent #vent post #borderline culture is #bpd culture #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd relationships #bpd relatable #bpd rant #stop romanticizing it

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sugar-grigri · 3 months

Text

What is a family?

Hello everyone, I'm in exam period so we're going to start with a very short analysis

We saw in the previous analysis, in chapter 152, that Denji wanted to be a CSM and that suffering, mental and physical pain, was inherent to being a CSM. Suffering was a claim for the protagonist, that of accepting his suffering to the point of finding pleasure in it, that of accepting that experiences can be painful, of not being protected

Especially by Nayuta, the control devil who can only conceive of happiness with one person, and that's enough for her.

But above all, I think that since Denji had accepted the fact of committing himself to the path of suffering, he didn't want Nayuta to join him, hence his desire to keep her away from him.

But what this chapter shows is that a family can't be chosen, it's simply there.

People do what they do, always projecting all their frustrations onto CSM, this faceless chimera. CSM is as much a good-luck charm as a match to be burned for bad luck.

Denji's dream of being seen was full of meaning, because what people see in CSM is precisely their suffering and despair.

Yes, CSM represents suffering - yes, you have to suffer to be him, just as he will only evoke suffering for others.

The contract with the fire demon was simple: become what you want. As he had suggested to Yuko, the thought-hearing monster was suitable for a socially eccentric girl who had trouble understanding others.

So when people try to burn CSM, they're burning what they want CSM to be: their suffering.

The lighter was an image that had already been introduced by Barem, who ironically presented himself as a CSM fan, foreshadowing the fact that many CSM fans had pacted with the demon of fire, fire capable of destroying them in return.

Burning CSM to make the wannabe CSM disappear always comes down to the same logic: CSM is there to save, whether this is done by reigniting him or by killing him.

So the fire is there to atone for the suffering, Denji simply tries to tell them that the fire is already there, burning down his apartment and his Meowy family and the dogs.

Why burn Denji? When he's already burning. He has already lost a part of himself.

Denji proclaims that he seeks suffering because he wants it to be his alone. He realised that even if he stopped being a CSM, those close to him would continue to be attacked as if the cycle had never been completed.

Denji has never had any confidence in himself, obediently following the rules laid down for him every time. Nayuta's rules, which symbolise this apartment, didn't work, and neither did those of the public hunters, because even if you respect the contract, suffering will always be the end result.

So Denji tries to free himself from all these rules, because they don't allow him to escape suffering.

He also tries to free himself from his loved ones, because it doesn't allow them to escape either, but humanity won't let Denji be free.

Denji had made it clear that he didn't want to hurt mankind because he wanted to preserve the last link that bound him to them: the kiss he had with Asa (Yoru). He doesn't want to belong fully to the demons, as Nayuta had recommended, but why not become one after all?

Denji loves violence, even against humans. He likes it because he is still CSM after all, a monster whose raison d'être is suffering. Yet the link that allows him to consider himself still on the other side is a simple kiss that didn't cause him any pain.

Because this kiss is exactly Denji's life, a touch of pleasure in an existence that is always painful. A boy who can't even say he can't betray humanity because he has friends because he has none.

Nayuta has never thought of her existence as separate from Denji's, the reason for her happiness, her beloved big brother. So she is now facing her worst fear: being cut off from this dearest of beings, being rejected by him.

But as they try to keep her away from her ailing brother, telling her he's no longer her family, she realises that this thing that rejects her, that hurts himself horribly, is still her family.

More to the point, it's the person behind this faceless monster who's reaching out to him, because CSM isn't a being capable of embracing with his chainsaws. Denji's arms are outstretched to him, as if he's standing between CSM behaving like a monster and his own anxieties: there's an obvious love there. She shouldn't see her fear in the foreground, what she should see is Denji.

This thing that dares to cut ties with her, to put itself in danger to the point of suffering so much, has never ceased to be her family.

The only way to see anything apart from CSM, apart from this figure of suffering, is to love Denji.

is to see the boy behind it.

A boy who can't stop laughing despite suffering, in a way that may be terrifying, but which gradually gives the impression of a brother forcing himself to smile to avoid putting his sister in danger. Look, I'm crazy, so stay away from me! And I don't want you anyway!

His laughter is as uncontrolled as his gestures, all acting as reflexes to keep Nayuta away from danger.

CSM is a being who belongs to neither world, hero of humanity when it suits them, hero of the underworld terrified by his fellow creatures, he is held responsible for both worlds, the suffering of demons and that of men.

But Denji may not belong to either world, but he does belong to a family.

Denji may not be seen by people, but he has been seen by a demon who loves him deeply.

The hero has always been hunted because he has never been accepted by humanity, suffering while swallowing that of others, he has always had to be rekindled, to serve someone once again.

And finally he's given permission to run away.

No CSM, don't swallow the suffering of others

It's hard enough to swallow your own.

Denji, you are loved by the demon of control who now agrees to do something unnatural for her, to allow you to escape her control, her vigilance, her protection. Because she knows she doesn't have to lock you up in a gilded cage to be able to find you.

A family always waits with open arms, don't they?

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm 153 #csm 152 #csm 150 #csm 149 #csm 146 #csm 142 #denji hayakawa #nayuta hayakawa

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mysadcorner · 6 months

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Hello, how are you? Can I ask for headcanons? What if damian wayne /or al ghul/ cheated on the reader with someone else and the reader found out and broke up with damian, how would damian react? Would he regret it? Would he be sad? Would he try to get the reader back? When the reader finds out about it, she breaks up with him quietly, I mean, she doesn't even have a break-up talk with Damian, because she doesn't think it's worth it for someone to take her down. So the reader just disappears and stops communicating completely. So she can't handle the deception, so she goes on with her life without caring. What's Damian's reaction? Have a nice day 🩶🤌👍

Cheater!Damian Wayne x Reader Headcanons

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Damian isn't the type to cheat on the person he's in a relationship with so if he does it's likely that he was forced to, he was desperate for something your relationship was lacking on an extreme level, or it never actually happened and someone is lying to you. Damian wouldn't want you to find out no matter what if he does cheat, so your first hint at what he did would be how often he's starting to keep secrets or acting differently around you.

Damian might not regret it instantly but he would feel shameful about his actions since he's so used to having self control and condemning how people behave in toxic relationships. He would only start to express his regret outright once he's realised that you've caught onto what he's done.

If you caught him in the act then he would be completely stunned and wouldn't know exactly what to do. He would become defensive but would know that lying at this point is hopeless so he may just try to make you hear him out before you leave if he can.

When you instantly leave him it finally hit him how bad his actions were, and this causes him to spiral in a way. He becomes extremely aggressive towards everyone around him and many others start to distance themselves from him due to his actions. His entire life has flipped and he doesn't exactly know how to take his actions back or fix the consequences he caused.

He would try his best to reach out to you and apologise if he can, or at least have a conversation with you about what he did, but if you aren't allowing him to confront you in any way then he will try harder each time you manage to avoid him. This would go on for a long time until someone else finally steps in and forces him to leave you alone.

He would try his best to get you back, and would give anything just for you to forgive him in any way, but he knows that it would likely never happen. He always thinks about you in the future, and looks back as to how good you were for him until he decided to ruin everything for no good reason.

In the long-term, Damian would realise that his life could never go back to normal now that everyone knows what he did and how he ruined something perfect. He wants to fix things, but he only becomes more closed off and hostile as he continues to go on without you.

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waynewifey · 8 months

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aporia — b.w

part one : dear mr. wayne

part two: aftermath

part three: aporia

epilogue

sumary: aporia suggests “an impasse”, a knot or an inherent contradiction found in any text, an insuperable deadlock, or “double bind” of incompatible or contradictory meanings which are “undecidable”. [reference]

pairing: battinson/bruce wayne x reader

genre: drama & romance

warnings: mental health struggle, miscarriage, car crash, a lot of internal dialogue

word count: 2k

A/N: the more i write, the more i put myself in this story. i feel like this ‘you’ is so complex i can’t help but try to explain her further. part four will be bruce’s perspective on all of this + an epilogue. i’m so grateful for the amazing feedback given on the last two parts and for the new followers, thank you so so much. i hope you enjoy this. (also this gif??? HELLO???)

GOTHAM. USA.

— bargaining.

the uncomfortable silence makes you want to scream. she told you that was a normal reaction and they couldn't get rid of those moments, they were essential for your self reflection. the problem was being alone with your thoughts, even for just one minute. they keep deciding you won't recover any time soon. everyone keeps holding you like a cracked vase. even negligence was better than being put under the microscope.

"i don't know what you want me to say" you respond, your gaze anxiously shuffling between the objects in the room. the woman's eyes, however, don't ever leave your face. she holds that journal like a scientist analysing a mutation. like you're some weird thing.

"you should say whatever you feel like saying." that's what she always answers. dr. quinn was extremely stoic, even for a therapist. you still liked her, though, because her pragmatic approach helped you shift your point of view and see yourself from an outside perspective, which made you want to help yourself. after weeks of feeling extra irritable, still trying to forgive your husband for lying to you, you realised maybe everything was too much for you to handle by yourself. you wanted to go back to the real world but before that, you had to do this. a quick chat with your psychiatrist and he gave you the contact to harley quinn.

"i think i've been way too mean to bruce" your confession has her nodding, like that observation had been made sessions before and she was waiting for you to realise that. "he's been so supportive and helpful, but sometimes words just fly out of my mouth and i don't even mean them"

"do you think it's easier to blame him than to come to terms with what actually happened?" you can't answer, because this was all you've asked yourself lately. you were a coward, hiding behind his suffering to prevent confronting yours. it's easy to curse him, to reject him, but it's not what you want to do. lately it feels like you don't have any control over your emotions and actions. you thought maybe if you pushed away the last person that still cared for you, you could disappear in your loneliness and finally stop hurting. "y/n you've been through something terrible. the kind of thing we never think it's gonna happen to us. i know it doesn't feel real, but you have to face it that it is. the thing about trauma... you have to keep living with it. you have to keep going, because it doesn't go away. but this is your life and you don't get to stay on standby. you hurt the people you love because it's better than hurting yourself. you told me you feel bad about it, so why won't you change?"

why won't you? you don't even know where to start. it felt comfortable living in sorrow forever. horrible, but comfortable. again, it was in fact easier to blame him than to accept this was reality. but he's right outside, been waiting for you for two hours, as he has done twice a week for over a month. you weren't being fair to him. he didn't deserve this. dr. quinn sees the defeat in your eyes and sighs in a mission accomplished type of breath.

"think about this, okay? we'll talk on friday." you nod, as if you weren't already overthinking it.

bruce sees you before listening to you. he's created the habit to stay in the waiting room with headphones in, blasting loud music. he didn't want you to feel like he was prying on you. he also didn't want to listen anything you had to say about him. you had the right to be mad at him, given everything that had happened. he knew you didn't mean it when you bomb dropped the word 'divorce' every now and then. it would take you some time to get back to normal and he wouldn't rush you.

you walk to the car quietly and get into the driver's seat. he agreed to let you drive to and from therapy. the office was actually in dr. quinn's house, a little bit on the country side of the city, if you could call it that. it was a 50 minute drive with no traffic, roads empty enough for you to drift off in you thoughts. he watches you drive, eyes brightening up a little more everyday. he realised that trying to shield you from the world wasn't going to work out. you need to learn how to be on your own. he needs to learn how to care for you while away.

"i'm sorry," you caught him off guard, observing the curves of your face. he frowns at the unexplained sentence. you glance at him but look back at the road. "for the way i've been acting. for pushing you away. for being too complicated. i know you're trying to help… thank you for staying."

"darling, of course. for better or for worse, remember? i'm never leaving you. we're getting through this, together. and don't you worry about me, i'll be okay when you are too, alright? you're doing great, i can see how much you're working towards it." he holds out a hand for you and you take it, intertwining your fingers. his calloused palms are softer now, courtesy of the months without batman-ing. they still embrace yours entirely and warm the cold tips of your fingers.

"i love you" the sweetness of that feeling dominates your tastebuds and it's almost like the day you started dating. that innocent type of love that consist of the pure enjoyment of each others company. however, your attempt to savour the moment is ruined by a shape in your peripheral eyesight.

"i love you too" bruce's voice is muffled by the anxious thoughts taking over your mind. the panic starts to overflow. he notices your body getting stiff and the wheel looking loose on your hand. your breathing lost it's rhythm to creaking gasps. there's something wrong. your eyes are frozen in a vehicle. he's seen this van before. maybe not this one, but an identical one, in a security camera tape in court. it looks exactly like the one that took you. "baby, hey, hey. i'm right here." you don't pay any mind to the man beside you. you can't, not when your instincts are telling you to run. not when you can feel the gun getting knocked on your head over and over again. bruce is saying something. the tears are blurring your sight. this is too much.

he's calling you screaming at this point, tears are rolling down your cheeks and you still haven't looked away from the van. there's a bump coming up, the car is dangerously fast and you're not driving at all. he goes for the wheel but isn't quick enough. the tires wiggle, going in their own direction. the car changes lanes, getting in the wrong way of the street. another car is coming and the impact isn't light. your head is thrown forwards, the airbag covering your face. the windshield shatters and little pieces of glass get stuck in your hair. the crash isn't too bad, you're both still awake and only the front has been smashed. but you get out hyperventilating, falling onto the ground and weeping.

bruce gets out as well, only a scratch on the forehead. he has to kneel on the dirt to hold you up. for a while, he doesn't say anything. the other driver is standing, phone in the ear. he's also fine. the cars were the only damage. two other drivers stop by, offering help. you wish he could help you, but it seems as if there's something inherently wrong with you.

— depression.

the weeks following the accident were harsh. it took a while to get you believing in recovery again. you still weren't sure. somehow there was press at the site, so pictures of you crying next to a car crash made it to the papers. there's minor commentary online about you faking it for your husbands popularity. most of the netizens feel desperately sorry for you and have painted you to be their new princess diana, the comparison seems wild to you.

you only go online every three days or so, because you can't resist the urge to know what bruce hasn't been telling you. jokes on you, he's actually been a lot more transparent lately. you agreed that the batman would show up to the sentence of edward nashton, to pressure the jury with his presence. it worked and the criminal got life without parole. the lawyers said that your public presence impacted on his trial, as 20 years was the standard. you were just glad he wouldn't do that to anybody else ever again. the case got national and your family from outside the state, that you not-so-kindly kept in the dark, started making contact, victimising you all over again.

but things were getting better, gradually. it had been almost a year and it felt like that chapter of your life was finally being finished. you were trying to get your life back, including your driver's license. it was suspended for a while after the accident, so now you had to submit a bunch of medical records to prove that you were mentally fine to drive again. that's how you found yourself in bruce's home office, searching everywhere for your documents. you could've asked him where he put it, but he had just fallen asleep in the living room and you didn't want to disturb him.

in one of the desk's drawers, you find a folder with the local hospital logo on it. you open it, shuffling through the papers you've seen before. only one stands out, with "ob/gyn" on the top of the sheet. you wonder if there's anything helpful there. your eyes start reading the words one by one, listing the examinations they've done on you. the subject changes abruptly.

the ultrasound analysis reports the miscarriage of an unknown pregnancy to the patient's spouse.

you feel like you're about to throw up. the world starts spinning as you force yourself to continue to read.

the fetus was estimated to be in the development stage of the beginning of the second trimester. the miscarriage was most likely a result of several mechanical trauma. dilation and curettage was performed with the patient in a medically induced coma.

you try to remember to breathe in and breathe out just like dr. quinn taught you. you expect the tears but they don't come out. the panic doesn't come. it's suddenly so quiet. it's not like a hole has been punched through your chest, it's like you have no chest at all. it's like you don't even exist. you somehow sit down, your body does. you feel as if it's moving on it's own and you're just watching from afar. your thoughts sound so distant, so irrelevant. you can only think of the baby that had once been inside of you and you didn't even realised. you didn't have the time to love him. you've had him there, right there, the thing you wanted the most in the world and he was taken from you. everything was taken from you.

if a tree falls on a forest, and there's no one around to hear, does it still make a sound? it felt like your fall was silent.

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deliciousdefendorinternet · 2 months

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some Head Cannons about Bro zone inspired by the fact literally everyone else has been doing these posts lol.

I think Floyd and Clay would end up trying to live with Branch in the Bunker but would find it too hard for multiple reasons one being Branch actually has loud night terrors often. that no one knows about but its actually one of the reasons why he still chooses to live so far away from everyone else in the village and Floyd and Clay are kept awake at nights just hearing him loudly screaming and shouting.

and one on occasion when they did try to wake him it resulted in Branch springing up and attacking them throwing one of them to the ground and pulling a weapon out of his Hair and nearly hitting them with it until Branch finally snapped out of it and realised where he was.

kinda helping Floyd and Clay realise for the first time how deeply affected Branch is by his past to the point he's still on such High alert even in his own home.

2. whenever Bro zone have any sort of arguments even if their not 100 percent serous and just mostly petty sibling Banter Branch still gets visibly afraid.

and nervous maybe even trying to defuse the situation but his voice and body language making it clear he's genuinely nervous which actually stops the other bros in their tracks.

and they try to reassure him the family isn't breaking up and its just normal sibling banter but regardless Branch isn't able to tell the difference between serous family shattering arguments and just normal day to day sibling banter.

so the bros try and make it more clear in the future that their just mostly joking around as opposed to seriously fighting amongst each other.

3. John Dory used to be a pretty social party animal but after spending over 20 years traveling with just Rhonda for company he's actually a pretty anti social person now.

tho he doesn't like to admit it and he tries to put on the persona of the social party animal in front of his Brothers he actually finds big crowds and meeting new people to be super stressful.

4. Bruce gained most of his extra weight in the immediate aftermath of his and JDs big fight as he stress ate for quite a while afterwards tho in present day he tries to hide this fact to avoid making JD feel bad since he can tell he's genuinely changed since then.

5. Floyd would be the one to try and encourage his Brothers to actually talk about their more negative feelings towards each other meanwhile the others just want to leave it as they are seem to be doing fine in present day.

and they don't want to bring up the uncomfortable stuff from the past again but Floyd would think its healthy that they do so.

6. if/when Branch and Poppy do get engaged each of the Bros will be excitedly waiting in anticipation to see which of them Branch picks to be his best man and Teasing each other over it.

only for Branch to shatter their Dreams when he announces that he's chosen Gary to be his best man ( this HC assumes that Gary gets added to the movie cannon at some point ).

and his bros are all weirded out and confused and some of them even think its just a Joke at first but when it becomes clear he isn't Joking.

some of them even sorta angrily confront Branch on how he could choose a friggin Remote Control over any of them only for Branch to cut the none serous casual attitude he'd had up to this point and tell them.

that yes he knows Gary is an inanimate object but he's been a more consistent comfort in his life than any of them ever have and well its his wedding so if they can't accept that then he doesn't want them there.

7. Branch would be a little bit resentful about the fact that Bruce went off and started a new family forgetting all about him while he waited for all of them to come back over the years.

he wouldn't outright tell him this due to fear of stirring the pot amongst the family when they've only just gotten things back on track.

but it'd end up coming out one way or another and Bruce would show a bit of growth and actually be understanding of why Branch would feel this way Rather than judging him for it.

meanwhile JD would would say he also felt pretty hurt by this only for Bruce to casually brush it off since he really doesn't give a crap if it hurt John's ego 😂😂😂😂

#trolls #trolls branch #dreamworks trolls #trolls brozone #trolls dreamworks #branch #branch trolls #brozone #trolls band together #trolls 3 #trolls hc #trolls headcanons #Trolls Branch #Trolls Bro zone #Trolls Brozone #Trolls HC #Trolls Headcannons

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thesensteawitch · 1 month

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IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SHADOW

🌑🪶🌑🪶🌑🪶🌑🪶

Pick A Pile Reading

🌑(Left To Right- Pile 1, Pile 2 and Pile 3)🌑

Hello, Senstea Souls!

I am back after a long time! Hufff! Missed me?🥹Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and are happy. Today's reading will reveal an important message from your shadow side.

I am also offering ‘integrate your shadow’ reading only at $9.

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Pile 1

Cards- King of Swords, death, the high priestess, the emperor, ace of Wands, 10 of Swords, 9 of Wands, 8 of swords

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. I hope you're doing well.

Are you going through something enormously difficult? I hear “I don't want to fight and I don't want to sleep in the dark.” This is what you feel towards your own shadows pile 1. You're tired of trying to figure out what's wrong with you and your life. Lion and Owl are coming up strongly. Which means with courage by your side you'll find your answers. You're underconfident about your own judgements. I know you can't see yet but you will. Though you're destined to go through this transformation finding the light is still in your hands. Your mind has your hands chained which is of course an illusion. Your shadow wants to tell you that you've tied your own hands. Your life can be in your control. Your shadow is saying that you're ignoring your intuition. You want everything backed up by facts but that's not how life works. Strawberries and cigarettes all taste the same to you which means you're losing the appetite for life. All because you can't see clearly only because you think too much. Your shadow pushes you to overthink and makes you believe that thinking will give you answers but it won't. Because thinking has never solved any problem completely. You can only perceive and think based on the memories stored in your system but intuition is raw. Intuition can tell you things that you've never known and where thinking can never reach. You're halfway in your journey of realising your potential. You're halfway in the dark tunnel. Your mind can only take you so far now beyond this you need to allow your intuition to take the lead sometimes. You're about to have a spiritual awakening pile 1 don't strangle your spirit and give so much importance to the mind and the memory. Sit still. Let stillness take you in. Stop giving excuses. Just let life happen to you and choose grace. Things are not as difficult as you think. You don't need to overburden yourself with the constant need to find all the answers right away. Life isn't about finding the answers but finding yourself. Your shadow wants you to first accept that it's there. Only then you can accept all parts of yourself. To understand your shadow better book a “integrate your shadow” reading with me. DM to book your reading!

Pile 2

Cards- Ace of Cups, king of Wands, 5 of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, 4 of Pentacles, knight of swords, knight of Pentacles, justice, 2 of swords, 5 of Cups, 5 of Wands

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. I hope you're doing well.

You're not happy with what you have in pile 2. Your shadow side is saying that you live with a lack of mindset. Sparks of inspiration and motivation come to you but they also disappear as soon as they arrive. You are not able to live up to the ideal dream life that you have in your mind. There's a need for you to heal yourself emotionally. You really need to cry it all out. You've also compared yourself with the outer world. I hear, “I have got my eye on you!” What is that you want, pile 2? What is it that you think someone has and you don't? I see that you feel that everyone is making progress except you. All of their journeys are unique and different. I sense that there are people involved in your life or around you who you think are doing better than you. This is heartbreaking to see that you're deciding your worth based on others' life. Don't you see how hard you've worked and for how long you've been trying to build your dream life? You don't see it happening but that doesn't mean nothing's changing. There so much happening for you behind the scenes. Your whole spirit team is so happy with your efforts and wants to give you a tight hug! You'll also see results pile 2. Be patient. Open your heart and express. Release the pain because good things are coming. I know you're trying to get over all this pain but that's the point stop trying. Surender the fruits of your labour on God. He'll take care of your rewards and will give you when the time is right. Focus on taking care of your garden. If you just see your future self right now you wouldn't even believe that it's you! There's something you need to release and your shadow wants you to release that as it's creating obstacles on your path. Let go of what's not serving you anymore. Now is the time. Justice will befall you and the scales will be balanced again. Make space in your life to receive the blessings. To understand yourself better book a “integrate your shadow” reading with me. DM to book your reading.

Pile 3

Cards- Page of Pentacles, 2 of Swords, King of Wands, Queen of Cups, Knight of Swords, Justice, Page of Swords

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. I hope you're doing well.

Is someone from your past showing up again? If you're dealing with someone but don't know if to trust this person or not then you're asked by your shadow side not to trust this person. Don't let your past hold you back! I also see that you have options. You have got the urge to choose the one who you know deep down isn't right for you. You need to release one connection. And if there's only one person who is from the past then let go of this person because the universe is soon going to bless you with a new person. Either way, you're asked to choose someone stable and reliable. Don't fall for someone's appearance or their words. Look at their actions! This other person or new person will do justice to you and will treat you right. The past connection will only bring more confusion and won't let you be free. There's something irresistible about you due to which this person is drawn to you. Reject this person's offer because if you're in no contact then they will soon be contacting you. This person perhaps was good to you in the past and that's why you can't digest that they can even be something from what you have imagined of them. You're unable to accept the reality and I also feel that this person who you already know had some past life connection with you and now you're supposed to break this cycle. Someone has to! Because it's karmic. This old connection is not where you're supposed to be. Things with this person have always been short-lived because it was a karmic connection. Your shadow side wants you to realise who you are and don't make yourself small for this person. I hear, “I don't wanna tip toe, but I don't wanna hide. But don't wanna feed this monstrous fire just wanna let this story die. And I'll be alright. We can't be friends. But I would like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens. Wait until you like me again.” These are the thoughts of your shadow and it's asking you to not feed them. Because no pile 3 you're not supposed to wait for them to love you. Love yourself! This person dims your light because I can see that you're someone else when you're not around them. They somehow want to control you. This new person/the second person is with whom you're destined to be in this lifetime. A new life awaits for you. As you release this karmic connection you'll be forging towards your destiny. Expect powerful changes. Here the energy is quite confusing as I do see three people involved. Choose wisely and do not forget that you need to love yourself first. Sometimes we tend to choose people just so that we feel worthy of love. To understand yourself better book a “integrate your shadow” reading with me. DM to book your reading.

#pick a pile reading #pick a pile tarot #pick a picture #shadow self #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #pick a pile #message for the collective #divine messages #divine guidance #spirit guides #spirituality #tarot reader #tarot cards #tarotblr #tarot readings #free tarot reading

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andy-wm · 10 months

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When you can't stop thinking about Jikook.

A couple of days ago i responded to a post about Jikook, and I've been thinking about it ever since. I wanted to write down my thoughts here because they just won't leave my head.

I've seen a few posts and comments recently about whether we still think they're 'together' now that we don't see them together.

Thinking about this has made me realise just how real they are. Because It's not about any of us. Its not about ARMY and it's not about BTS. It's only about them.

Their relationship is not performative. They don't put on a show for us. They don't invite the viewer in, in the way a constructed fantasy does. Because their story isn't constructed. Because they are not a fantasy.

They exist far beyond stolen moments or heated looks on screen. They have private jokes we don't understand. They share touches that imply intimacy way beyond what we see. They have a life together that DOES NOT INCLUDE US.

Honestly, I think JK and JM don't care if we do see them. Having us there won't stop them doing what they're doing, but it is not done for us. It's not about us. It's about them. In fact, we aren't invited.

There have also been a few posts about how strange it is that people will ship JK with literally anyone but Jimin.

Any time anyone shares a space or a camera frame or a glance with JK, fantasies about their romance start coming out. Its wild. Threads about the supposed romance appear. They trend ship names. They stalk and threaten any woman (only ever women, never the men) who dared to look his way. They either buy in, or they refute with all their proof and theories.

And looking at this repeating cycle, I think I understand why these people will never ship JK with Jimin. And I understand why people who ship JK with random other men and women have a problem with JK & Jimin being together.

It's because there's no way a jikook romance can be their romance. They have no place or role to play in the jikook story... not through being paladins in a secret war (like tkkrs want to be) and not through substitution (as a y/n fantasy). In this romance, everyone but jikook are irrelevant. We don't exist in Jikook's world. For people who just want to support them, that's no problem. We happily cheer them on from the sidelines.

But people who need to be INVOLVED ... those people hate when they don't CONTROL or OWN this story. They hate that JIKOOK DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING. They hate that their opinions really DON'T MATTER.

Look at them....

There's no space for us to insert ourselves into this story. In this moment, and in so many others, we simply don't exist. And i love that.

I WANT to close the door and leave them to it. 💜

#jikook #kookmin #국민 #jeon jungguk #park jimin #love is love #true love

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hostilemuppet · 4 months

Text

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

#text

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barcalover86 · 10 months

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your story’s are just 💋🤌🏼 chefs kiss! I love them so much. I wanted to ask for a part 2 of just a fan? Ending in fluff 😁🙏

Just a fan 2 - Pablo Gavi

Part 1

Masterlist

Thank you a lot for all your support!

You found out that the day after you were at their house for the last time, he broke up with his girlfriend. Still, knowing that you couldn't handle to see his face knowing that his heart won't ever belong to you and only you, broke your heart, deciding to spend some time with yourself and not see him.

God, it was way too hard. Everywhere you looked, something reminded you of him.

Not to say that when you were going on social media, you only saw him. You wanted so bad to see the videos, but after some time, you started to tear up. Why can't you be thankful for the fact that you met him. How many girls don't and would want that!

It's been two Sundays without you at his house, and he started to ask everyone about you. People will say that you are sick, tired, or not knowing the real reason. He tried to text you, but you never answered. He started to be worried and went to the person he knew you were the closest to. His sister.

"Help me" he said out of breath

"Oh, hermano, calm down. What is it?"

"Please, please, tell me what's with y/n"

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and shock.

"What? How am I supposed to know? She only said that some weeks she wants to be with herself only"

"Why?"

"I don't know, Pablo. Ask her yourself "

"I did, Rora! I did, she doesn't answer me!"

"Then that's why because she doesn't want to talk to you. Leave her alone"

"I know you know the reason! I'm your brother, tell me!"

"She's my friend, no!"

He started to get pissed. Why would you want to be..with yourself? Did something happen to you?

"Can you please give me a hint where she might be?"

Aurora sighed, but eventually agreed with helping his brother. Gavi went quickly to the adress, hoping to find you.

And there you were, on a bench next to a lake with a book in your hand, Unshared love, he read.

He chuckled sweetly "Who broke your heart, señorita"

When you heard him, you completely turned around to face him. You were shocked and confused about his presence next to you. You wanted to ask him so many things, but nothing was coming out of your mouth. He sat next to you and looked into your eyes with hope. Then he smiled. Ah, his smile..

You couldn't not smile back at him, he was just too...beautiful. Oh, and how beautiful.

With you, not saying anything, he took your book into his hands and started looking at it. Then he looked at you again. And smiled...again.

"Can you please stop smiling, you are gonna make me blush" you said, unconscious by what you just told him.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and chuckled. "I cannot do this, cariño"

He smiled again.

You blushed so hard and turned around to not face him, but he grabbed you by your chin and pulled you to face him one again.

"Tell me, were you sick or tired?"

"What? No"

"Then what's the reason you didn't come anymore to my house "

Now, his voice was like a whisper, while his face was sad. You changed your mood too, not knowing what to answer.

"Did someone made you uncomfortable?" he asked concerned.

Somehow, yes. The girl he kissed, but you couldn't say that, so you only shook your head.

"Then what's the problem?" now he was really confused .

You remained silent, trying to look away from him and trying to control your breath..he was really, really close to you.

"Are you nervous?" his smile being seen again on his face.

You blushed harder than ever. Words weren't escaping your mouth.

He made you look at him, and then your eyes went on his lips, he noticing it. His hands went on your cheeks, and he leaned in slowly. You started to panick, not proceeding with what was happening, but before you realised, his lips were on yours. He kissed you.

Slowly and gentle. He tasted like sweet, and his touch made you weak. When he pulled out, he looked at you .

"Please, tell me you don't regret this"

"No..not at all, Pablo" you reassured him with a smile. He then kissed you again, needed for your skin.

You didn't know what was happening at the moment, but you wanted to enjoy it, hoping for many more in the future.

"You might not need this book anymore, amorcito" Gavi laughed while putting the book away from you before he kissed you again.

Reminders!

@sandiaaaaaaa7

@coco657

@berriesarenice

@gililz7

@xjval

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lavender-storm · 2 years

Text

I need you here

summary | Theo drunkenly confesses, but it's hard to believe him.

pairing | Theo Nott x fem!reader

warning | drunk Theo, probably grammar mistakes

word count | 1k

a/n: Please let me know what you think, I hope you enjoy! Have a lovely day xx

I just wanted to let you know, that this is a side blog, so unfortunately I can't reply to your comments, but I see them all! I appreciate it so much, you have no idea how happy your comments make me! ♥️

He's wasted. That's why he's saying these things, no other reason. If he were sober, he wouldn't dare to say words like this, especially not to Y/N. So this is only happening because he's so drunk, he can't even sit by himself. But Y/N doesn't try to shut him up. How could she? The words coming from his lips caress her whole skin like a soft feather, the loopy smile on his face warms her heart. She'd be lying if she said she's not enjoying whatever is happening.

I love being next to you. I'm so happy you're here, I was waiting for you the whole night! Seeing you is the best part of my days. He says.

But these are all words, all lies, all just drunk flirtations. He doesn't know what he's saying, maybe he doesn't even know who he is talking to. Yet, her heart hopes that deep down he means every single thing he utters.

"How can someone be so pretty? Seriously, it's not fair. It's like you want everyone to fall in love with ya," he mumbles, swaying his hand in the air.

"What are you even talkin' about? No one's in love with me Theo."

"Pfft lies. Big ass lies. I know I am. And like fivety- fifty other people," she laughs at him and he pokes her side mumbling an I'm serious. Of course she knows he's not, and she's pretty sure that he said the same sentences to Adelane earlier. But you can't blame her for playing into it for a few minutes, believing that Theodore could actually love her. With a roll of her eyes she guides his head on her shoulder, and gently puts her hand into his hair, trying to quiet him. She feels giddy inside, like the first time she kissed a boy when she was younger, the only exception is that this feeling is better, much, much better.

Truth be told, even if he doesn't mean what he says, it would be fine with her. Because up until Theo, she didn't know how great it feels to love somebody unconditionally. Everyday she has something to look forward to, his voice, his laugh, his mere presence can make her swoon. Some say having a crush is hard, but to her, liking Theo is the best feeling and the easiest thing in the world. Just quietly doing homework, or sitting in front of the fireplace is enough. If he only knew that she's ready to give her heart to him. The boy hums quietly, burying his face into her neck.

"And you also smell so nice, you are seriously unreal. Pretty sure an angel," a shiver runs through her body when he lays a soft kiss behind her ear. And then another one on her jaw line. And another one her neck. Oh Merlin this was a bad idea. She clears her throat and pushes him away.

"I think you should go to sleep," before you do something you'll regret and hate me for the rest of your life. "Come on." She helps him up and he immediately laces their fingers together, too tired to fight with her.

She leads him through the crowd of dancing people, and he squeezes her hand, making sure he won't lose her. He likes holding her hand, he realises. They fit together so well, her skin is so soft and warm, it's really nice. He wishes he could hold onto her for the rest of his life. The music and the people fading into the background as the only thing he is able to concentrate on is her. He can't control what's coming out of his mouth anymore, but seeing the way Y/N looked at him, how her eyes sparkled because of his words, he didn't care that he lost control. If he could, he would say these things non stop to her, write it down on notes, write it on the sky, scream it at the top of his lungs so everyone can know how much she means to him. If only he weren't so scared when he's sober.

"Let's get you to bed, alright?" She says as they finally reach his room. She's gentle with him like he is fragile, and he could feel his heart melt into a puddle in his chest. He sits down on the edge of the bed, Y/N standing between his legs. He has a lazy smile on his face and his eyes twinkle in the darkness. "What?"

"Please stay."

"Theo, I can't. I- You wouldn't want that if you weren't…" She looks away from his pleading eyes, knowing that she will cave in if he keeps looking at her like that. Why does he have to be so handsome?

"I do. I always want that," a small frown appears on his face. He doesn't want her to think that. To believe that he wouldn't want her here if he were sober. "I always want you to be around. I love being with you. I really do" his voice barely even a whisper, as he rests his head against her stomach. Y/N runs her fingers through his hair and he closes his eyes, getting lost in her touch.

"It doesn't seem like it though," she whispers and his heart cracks open with each shaky breath she takes. He never meant to hurt her. He never wanted to make her feel like she wasn't important to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry. Please stay," his eyes are watering as he tilts his head back to look at her. "I promise I want you to. I swear. Please. I need you here."

She wants to believe him. Maybe what they already have is good, it's enough, but maybe having more would be better. So she does believe him for now. Y/N gestures for him to move and she lays down beside him. He immediately wraps his arm around her, and pulls her into his chest. It's nice, so nice, to lay with her here, to feel the warmth of her body, to hear her soft breathing, to know she is right here with him.

"I know I could do better but I swear, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'll prove it. I'm goin' to prove it," he whispers into her hair before drifting off to sleep.

#lavender-storm #theo nott #theodore nott #theo nott imagine #theodore nott imagine #theo nott fluff #theo nott blurb #theo nott x y/n #theo nott x reader

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dreamingsnowflake2013 · 5 months

Text

Considering she is 18/19 and you are 28, if it took place in modern times and she were a year younger, your show would be called Majo no Jouken 2.

Xie Wei can keep his composure when he talks about politics, schemes and other people as if they were mere chess pieces he an disregard the moment they stop having their uses for him, but the moment Zhang Zhe brings up Xue Ning he loses completely loses it. It was him who warned her to wear her heart in her sleeve and never reveal who she loves so blatantly; however, he sure doesn't heed his own advice. And even more so, he does that in front of his love rival and a man whose intelligence rivals his own. One thing is letting it slip with her when Xue Ning wouldn't even dream he could possibly like her, but doing it in front of Zhang Zhe is a complete strategical blunder.

But the thing is, he doesn't even fully comprehend or accept that what he feels for her is love, even if it's patently obvious to everyone close to him, that he doesn't even realise how his anger is seen by others, particularly someone as perceptive as Zhang Zhe, who can probably see it for what it is - an outburst of jealousy and sheer possessive rant: Ning'er, if you get close to her, I kill you, MINE to take care of, MY student,... = MINE, MINE, MINE!!! You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes (which Zhang Zhe is, and even Xie Wei knows that) to understand the meaning behind it - KEEP AWAY FROM MY WOMAN! He is marking his territory. I mean, at one point he even yells.

You have to feel for Xie Wei, not only because so far he's witnessed Xue Ning love two men (albeit, in different ways) to a point where she would risk her own life for them, while he is left alone watching from the side lines and helplessly seething with jealousy; but also because he does love her, and in a subconscious way he does understand that even though he doesn't accept it or act on it, and cares for her enough to read her feelings and needs, even seeing the affection she feels for other men, yet she can't see how much he cares for, even though it's so clear to anyone who has seen the way he treats her or looks at her.

I begin to see why would Xue Ning eventually choose Xie Wei over Zhang Zhe. He actually lets it slip how much he loves her, when he shares his idea how one should love - a love that consumes his whole being, heart, body and soul, and makes him give himself completely to her and break all the rules for her - that's probably one of the reasons why he doesn't act on it, because he can't afford it, nor does she care enough for him, but his control is slowly sleeping. He sees Zhang Zhe cares for rules too much to break them for her. In Xie Wei's eyes, if Zhan Zhe can't do that, he doesn't deserve her since he doesn't love her more than he does.

Keeping her suitors at bay with death threats! Yan Lin is lucky he is his younger cousin, or he would have had Xie Wei's arrow in his skull by now.

You are going to get that arrogant smirk wiped off your face before you realise what hit you. Xie Wei has spent so many years controlling everything he believes having a control over her means that she belongs to him, but that is only an illusion he keeps telling himself.

#story of kunning palace #zhang ling he #bai lu #cdrama

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blossoming-sun · 2 months

Text

So.... I made some pj mask AUs based off the prompt/trope people on pjmcord gave me (school au, angels and demons au, fae au)

School AU:

Premise: I know you probably meant just a normal school AU, but I'm actually incapable of writing something without fantasy elements, so its a school au: but they all still have their powers. In this au, the government knows about monsters and magic and stuff, and although the general population doesn't know about them, its not exactly "keep secret at all costs" information. So that nobody dies when the magical kids are too young to fully control their magic, they're kept seperated from ordinary kids in the education system until a certain age. So basically all the nighttime kids are in a class, and teacher is a new, human, teacher fresh out of uni and teaching his first class. These kids are a nightmare for him (/pos) and he struggles not to be killed every night.

Other stuff: There is a lot of drama between the villains and heroes, especially at lunch break. The main friend groups are the terrible trio and the pj trio, but the other characters have friend groups as well, and its not uncommon for everyone to just play nicely as one big group some nights and then all hate each other the next. The sidekicks do exist in this AU, but they're not allowed in the classroom because they're not students. This does not stop any of them: the ninjalinos sneak in to play with night ninja at break, Romeo is always making a machine of some sort, its very hard to keep moths out of the outdoor playground, octobella hides Percival in her bag, etc. The whole au would probably just be teacher being like: "Apophis, I'll put you in detention until the end of time if you try to trap bastet in a pyramid again!" "Kevin, don't put that in your mouth! No, I don't care what Howler dared you do to!" "Romeo, what did I say about stealing stuff from the maintenance room? You can't take over the world with the wifi router!"

Also, the heroes are monsters in this au, so owlette is a harpy, an yu has more dragon features, etc

Angels and Demons AU

Lore: Angels and demons usually hide which one they are, their wings and stuff can dissapear at will and they don't have to use their powers. Furthermore, its a contemporary!angels and demons au, so while everyone has angel or demon blood, some have the full features (horns, slitted pupils, angel wings, halos, etc) when they show their true forms, others merely contain some angel or demon blood and no affects from this (which is most common). There are also powers, which can be pretty much anything. Physical features aren't required to have powers, but they're usually hand in hand.

Other stuff: Amaya is the only one with wings and a few extra eyes, while connor has a halo, and greg has a few small feathers (not enough to fly with or form wings), but has the power of strength. The villains are all demons. Luna has wings, NN has horns (like an oni) and romeo hasn't shown his true form yet. However, Armadylan and An Yu are also demons! The PJs didn't trust armadylan at all at first because they're racist you can't trust demons, but after they met an yu, realised that maybe not all demons are bad and didn't choose to be like this. Also: pharaoh boy is a fallen angel, but bastet refuses to talk about what happened to make him lose his light. The rest of the power heroes are all angels. And for the characters I haven't talked about yet:

Wolfies: no features or powers, except their werewolf powers(werewolf blood dominated the demon genes)

Armadylan: 4 horns on his head that stick out from his helmet, as well as a tail beneath the armadillo tail on his suit. Canon powers

An Yu: Black and red scales, slitted red eyes, fangs, claws. Canon powers

Ice Cub: Has three halos, no powers until his exposure to the asteroid though

Newton: two sets of wings, four eyes (haha), canon powers

Speedy twins: demon tails

Bastet: small wings behind her ears

Octobella: gekko swears she's a demon, but she's not (she's a cecaelia)

feel feee to ask me about the other characters, i was too lazy to write them all (rip)

Fae AU

So, in this AU lilyfay is the only fae. She's from an alien race of space fae, idk. The problem is, she's the first of her kind to visit earth in hundreds of years, and nobody really remembers the rules of the fay anymore, or that they exist. Which means that there are many shenanigans.

Lilyfay loves to clean, but unfortunately power Q is already pretty clean because of PJ robot, so except for when gloop attacks, she needs to find other places to clean. She occasionally just shows up at the flying factory to clean it (romeo is not good at keeping his lab tidy). And Romeo freaked out the first time but he got intrigued after that. When Romeo disrespected her the first time she refused to take that shit and turned him into a fawn (fae will sometimes transform humans into creatures if they don't like them), but only for one night so that he would learn his lesson. After this, Romeo takes up some of the Creideamh Sí so that he won't get deer'd again, which starts with giving Lilyfay milk when she shows up and progresses to the two of them having tea parties together. The duo kind of become friends, but lilyfay will not hesitate to kick his ass if he lies to her or offends her in some other way. Nobody else knows about their secret.

Lilyfay also has a garden in power Q, that has a ton of hawthorn saplings among other things. She and An Yu tend to the garden, but An Yu isn't allowed to touch the hawthorn. Lilyfay would love to drag the gang back to the land of the fay, but she's enjoying earth a lot and figures that she'll stay, for now at least. Also, her true fae form is hidden behind a human disguise (I don't think that lilyfay would be a changeling, but i'm going to incorporate some elements of changelings in for funsies) she can also play instruments and loves to dance, but she and her friends only ever play just dance and take turns so that she doesn't have to (by law) drag them away forever.

#pj masks #pj masks au #not tagging all of these characters bro #also my posts haven't been showing up in the pjm tag for a while so #hopefully people see this

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