#i refused to make this piece angsty....I REFUSE TO FEED INTO THE VOICES

[raticalshoez]

"Back when you cared about me."

"I still care, Etho."

//

DISKAKWKDNWKW SECRET LIFE HAS BEEN FULL OF BOAT BOYS WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELLLLLL /pos

#I HATE THEM ACTUALLY NOW COULD THEY DO THIS FJDJSMAMS #sigh....... #SIGH............. #trafficblr #ethoslab #smallishbeans #secret life smp #i needed to draw these mfs why are they like this #anyways joel was so right fandom goes INSANE at the boat boys sighting #CAN THIS EVEN BE CONSIDERED CRUMBS. THIS WHOLE INTERACTION DESTROYED ME. AS LITTLE AS IT WAS. #also please ignore the fact that i've gottan joel's life series merch wrong 💀 #i refused to make this piece angsty....I REFUSE TO FEED INTO THE VOICES #(i say as i've already listened to them by making this) #boat boys #can't forget that tag

[thatphantomtroupelady]

~Dinner~

--------------|Prompt 3: Candles|--------------

Ingredients: Yandere!Chrollo, kidnapping, manipulation, angsty kurapika

Characters: Kurapika, Chrollo

Summary: Kurapika is being kept captive in a mansion by yandere!chrollo who is absolutely obsessed with his eyes. When he's finally offered food after being starved for several days, will he choose to accept it or risk awakening Chrollo's terrifying side?

Word Count: 0.5k

Kurapika shifted uncomfortably in his chair, muscles straining against the chains binding him to it. Chains. The irony of his plight stung deeper than the knife lodged in his thigh, both making his insides twist in their own ways-- he'd earned the latter after refusing to activate his scarlet eyes. Needless to say, his irises were a glowing red now, enough to satisfy the desire in Chrollo's eyes.

Speaking of Chrollo... Kurapika's eyes narrowed at the man as he sat down in the chair in front of him, forcing their knees to touch under the table. If only Kurapika could do more than glare at him.

"Well?" Chrollo raised an eyebrow, chin resting in the palm of one hand. "Impressed yet, Kurapika?"

Kurapika only intensified his gaze, hopelessly trying once more to activate his aura... but to no avail. How could he have ever let his biggest enemy steal his most precious ability? But Chrollo had been sneaky, a master manipulator by nature. And now... Kurapika was stuck here-- in a fancy mansion Chrollo had likely taken over by massacring all its previous occupants.

Chrollo hummed. "I suppose it'd be unfair for you to judge now since you haven't even tasted it yet..."

Kurapika glanced at the various plates carefully arranged on the table-- the bastard was definitely a perfectionist-- and gulped. As much as he hated to admit it, the food did look good, especially after Kurapika had been kept borderline starving for the past few days.

With a grace Kurapika had grown to despise, Chrollo sliced a piece of steak drizzled in some sauce and topped with various colourful vegetables, and held it up to his mouth with a self-satisfied smile. Right... since Kurapika could obviously not move his arm without posing any danger to Chrollo... he had to be- to be- no.

Bile rose up his throat as he weighted his choices. He could either refuse, in which case Chrollo would either force-feed him or let him starve to death; or- or he could maybe accept it? For the sake of survival of course.

Chrollo was staring at him now, empty eyes judging his body language, calculating his next moves. Kurapika hated this version of Chrollo. It was the only time he felt actually terrified of the man. If he had massacred an entire clan with such brutality and lack of remorse, what else could he do? What else could he do to him? Chrollo's gaze suggested every awful scenario Kurapika could imagine and worse.

Slowly, Kurapika opened his mouth an inch, quickly taking up the morsel of food Chrollo had 'so generously' prepared for him.

A moment later, Chrollo regained his usual smug self, preparing another bite for him. "Do you like it?"

Pretendpretendpretendpretend. "Yes." He choked out, voice barely above a whisper.

"And isn't there something you should say to me? For so generously preparing such a wonderful meal for you? Hm?" Kurapika was getting better at predicting him. Or maybe he had let him be so predictable on purpose. Kurapika could never be sure.

With self-control Kurapika didn't ever think he would come to possess, he gritted out. "Thank you... Chrollo."

His eyes turned a brighter shade of red as the monster in front of him chuckled-- a hollow terrifying sound.

#hxhtober #mewrites #kurapika kurta #chrollo lucilfer #yandere!chrollo #kidnapping #manipulation #angst #i don't think it breaks the rules bc kurapika doesn't exactly like him back #so the fic is in no way technically condoning the ship #I'd still be cool with removing the tag ofc if the mods tell me to so #yea

[rere-the-writer]

Hello! I found your blog and it’s my new obsession. Like, Hiding in the bathroom during work to read your fics.

Anyways can I please request something?

Poly!mikaelson’s x vampire reader where the reader gets kidnapped and tortured to the point she doesn’t recognize when they come to save her and passes out and once they get her home they wait for her to wake and have to calm her down because she freaks out. Maybe one of them even gives her their blood to help her heal because she was seriously injured? I’m a sucker for your angst fics. I turned on notifications for you cause I love your blog so much!

Hands down you have some of the best angst fics for this fandom/ship. 💜💜💜

Aww thank you 🥰 I'mma about make this so angsty

Warnings: angst like all of the angst, fluff in the end

You had been missing for the last two weeks having been taken by Aurora out of jealously she held for you since you were seeing Klaus. The Mikaelsons were waging war against Aurora to get you back which Tristan was angry with his sister as half of the Strix was dead in Elijah's rage coupled with Klaus and Kol slaughtering others. Lucien had heard what happened and wisely stayed out of it not wanting to be caught in the crossfire.

You panted laying on the floor of the room Aurora kept you and you could have run if you weren't weak from not feeding and the vervain in your system. You were so tired and in pain and already have gave up on the hope of your lovers would save you.

"You know I am surprised you are still with them. After all you are just a toy I mean Kol has that witch Davina, Rebekah with Marcel then Elijah with that werewolf girl, Hayley."

This had been Aurora's new way of tormenting you by telling you the Mikaelsons didn't care for you. You let out a silent scream as your vocal cords was shot when Aurora stabbed you with a dagger dipped in vervain.

"Poor little old Y/N. Why would they choose a weak baby vampire of three years." Aurora mocked as you layed there feeling weak and ready to die as you couldn't take the pain. To you the older vampire had won having been in a cycle of pain of two weeks.

"Aurora, your brother wants to speak with you." You heard Aya tell Aurora and she dropped your head. Listening to them leave as you curled into yourself hurting and giving up.

"Where is she?" You swore you heard Klaus's voice as the sounds bodies dropping and screams rang out as the questioning thought was it really then enter your mind as you passed out. Elijah growled lowly when he found you gently and carefully picked you up.

"You found her." Kol said eyes narrowing seeing the state you were in as Rebekah rushed over.

"She'll need blood, let's get her out of here then deal with Aurora." Elijah said calmly as he was angry and Klaus joined them frowning seeing how hurt you where. They got you home and Elijah washed you frowning seeing the wounds you had and dressed you.

"Let me give her blood." Rebekah said biting her wrist as Elijah tilted your head back as Rebekah gave you her blood.

"I don't understand how Hayley could allow Y/N to be taken." Kol growled looking at you as you were slowly healing even while Kol and Rebekah was taking turns to feed you their blood.

"From what she told Marcel was that they took Jackson too. She didn't think Jackson would survive."

"No Y/N wouldn't. She has only been a vampire for three years." Rebekah tells Elijah as Kol was feeding you more of his blood. It took a day for you to wake up and your scream woke your lovers and Elijah wrapped his arms around you.

"Shhhh sweetling, you're safe, your home." Elijah whispered in your ear holding you tightly as you calmed down panting flinching away when Elijah kissed your temple. Elijah frowned when you pushed yourself away from him.

"Don't Kol, she is panicked." Elijah said softly stopping Kol from run to you as he got off your bed. Your breathing was shallow as memories were piecing themselves together while you climbed back in bed.

"How is she?" Rebekah asked when she walked up hearing your screaming Kol was frowning.

"Panicked. What do we do 'Lijah?"

"Let her process what happened and that she is safe." Elijah says softly watching you curl up into a ball. Klaus growled lowly pacing as three days passed you were doing better but didn't allow your lovers to touch you that wasn't platonic then there were moments you would flinch seeing blood or any knifes and daggers.

"I'm going to kill Aurora."

"No Nik. She is my first Sired, let me." Rebekah growled as Elijah sat thinking, you weren't feeding making them slip blood in your drinks. You weren't sleeping well waking up from nightmares and refusing them to comfort you.

"Aurora will die but we need to focus on our little vamp." Kol said worried about you watching you with Camille. You were smiling but it didn't reached your eyes.

"Nightmares I understand but pushing us away?"

"Maybe let her go?" They turned their heads seeing Hayley standing there arms crossed.

"Hayley." Klaus growled a warning as she rolled her eyes looking at Elijah.

"Look clearly she is a lost cause so stick her somewhere were she isn't a bother. The first Sired needs to be taken care of and you guys are too busy taking care of Y/N."

"No we won't abandon her!"

"Rebekah is right Hayley. She needs us also Tristan is in hiding with Aurora worried we are knocking on his door."

"Which we are." Klaus said as you walked back in with Camille rushing back up to your bedroom not looking at the Mikaelsons.

"How is she, Camille?"

"Honestly? A reck, Aurora did a number on her. Just don't give up on her, Aurora told her some nasty things."

"Thank you Camille." Elijah said as the human nodded then sent Rebekah up to you first.

"You guys know she won't be the same right?"

"Of course but she'll be stronger like a Phoenix." Klaus said smirking. Later that night you had another nightmare and Rebekah stood at door.

"Sweetheart?"

"Beka." You rasped out holding your arms out to her as Rebekah was quick to pull you against her as for the first time since you been back you let out a heart retching sob.

"Shhhhh I' m here I am not going anywhere, beautiful." Rebekah cooed softly as you nodded still crying when Kol came in unable to take your cries. To their surprise you let Kol hold you as you rolled over clinging to him.

Then scent of nutmeg and lavender with warm vanilla filled your senses you know the scents belonged to Kol and Rebekah. It brought comfort as you finally felt safe as you buried yourself in their arms.

"Rebekah? Kol?" Freya whispered finding them in your room she got teary eyed seeing you nuzzled up to Rebekah as Kol had his face pressed against your back.

"Freya? Something wrong?"

"Look Elijah." Freya whispered as he looked into your bedroom his eyes softened as his heart swelled with joy seeing you seeking comfort finally.

They found Aurora and while Elijah took care of Tristan. Aurora was left in the mercy of Klaus, Rebekah and Kol which the three showed Aurora just why most didn't dare get near you.

"Did you kill her?" Elijah asked seeing his all too pleased siblings.

"Oh no. We sealed her away in a wall making her believe there will be a point in time that we will kill her.

"I see. Just how did you do this ?"

"Compelled her. Rebekah made her believe that I was coming to save her. Klaus said smirking as Elijah smiled.

"Ah. Better than me dumping Tristan in the ocean." Elijah says smirking as they now shift their attention on you and taking out Lucien.

You stood outside of Klaus's bedroom and stepped inside while Rebekah Kol was great but you missed your wolf.

"Nik?"

"Oh. Love come here." Klaus said half asleep as you rushed into his arms. You drowned yourself in his scent of old paint with the under tone was warm spice.

"Nik."

"Shhhh love don't cry. You're still weak, you'll get sick." Klaus said softly as you hummed a quiet okay. You sighed nuzzling into his neck while he rubbed your back and for the first night since you gotten back you got to sleep without nightmares.

You were doing better more and more each day finally feeding and allowing your lovers touch and cuddle you as you weren't ready for intimacy. But you still stayed away from Elijah until the others left for a night to find out what Lucien was up to.

Your scream rang out waking Hayley and Elijah. The scent of pine, bourbon and spices as one thought rang through your head....Elijah.

"Shhh baby. I'm here you're safe." Elijah whispered in your ear waiting for you to push him away but was surprised when you rolled over latching on to him.

"Eli. I was doing so well. You must think I'm weak." You said weakly as he just held you closer kissing your head rubbing your back.

"No no baby. I don't think you're weak. You have been so strong." Elijah whispered squeezing you gently.

"But I trying to be stronger for you.... like Hayley." You tell him as it clicked for Elijah why you hadn't came to him like you did the others.

"Baby, I don't want you like Hayley. Strong or not I love you and wish you would need me too."

"I always need you. I love you too." You whispered relaxing in him hold as he lulled you back to sleep. Later that night the others joined you two surrounding you with warmth and love as you finally felt safe and at home.

#rere's stories #mikaelson family x reader #mikaelson x reader #elijah mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson x reader #rebekah mikaelson x reader #mikaelson family angst

[amidstsaltandsmoke]

Drabble challenge- 46 and maybe extra angsty please 🥲🥲🥲

Hiiiiiii! Ok, I don't think that I really pulled off the EXTRA angsty, but there IS angst involved!😆 Then I had to throw in the hurt/comfort/fluff. I also changed up the quote a little bit, I hope you don't mind! This is from an unnamed universe I'm currently working on 😌🥰 Hope you like!!!! Thanks for the ask! 🤗🤗🤗 ________________________________________________ 46.) “I thought you were dead!”

Jon was losing his damn mind.

Dany never went this long without responding to his texts and calls, especially when he was out of state for work and he only had technology to rely on to reach her. He wasn't possessive by nature, but ever since learning of her sometimes fragile condition - to which she insisted was not the case - he couldn't and wouldn't dare let his protectiveness be put by the wayside.

She was too important to him, and he really didn't know what he would do without her. Couldn't even begin to outline a picture of what his life would even look like without her right by his side in it.

He'd left the project early so he could return to the rental house and try her again. His boss had all but tossed him off the property by the hem of his pants because he'd been not only obsessively checking and rechecking his phone, but he was far too distracted and had already nearly drilled his thumb into a roof.

It was all in support, however - his boss knew Jon well, and understood the situation, and wouldn't sack him just because he loved his wife so hard it made him physically ill to think she might be in some form of danger. He didn't even care if she'd suffered a paper cut. He'd disinfect and bandage the shit out of that, too.

Gods, he was just as bad as her father had been, wasn't he? The very hovery, constantly-looking-over-shoulder person that Dany loathed and grew up with. He tried not to be, and most times he was successful. But he also wasn't typically eight hours away, halfway across the country, either.

He paced the living room, the other line just ringing and ringing with no answer. Her silky voice in the form of her voicemail passed through his ear again, and he sighed heavily. "Dany, I don't know what's goin' on, but you're really freaking me out. I'm sure you'll have my head when you see all the missed calls and messages...but please just let me know you're ok. You can send me the middle finger emoji for all I care. Love you more than anything. Bye."

Thumbing the red "END" button, he chewed on his lip and looked around the mostly-barren room, save for his suitcase which was still packed with his clothes. Tomorrow was the last day he needed to be here before flying back home...how crazy would it be to catch that night's red eye, anyway? And how livid would Dany be that he ditched this huge contract at the tail end?

His heart was made up before he could even try to rationalize it.

"Davos? I'm gonna take off...it's not like her to-," he chuckled nervously, while Davos commanded him to 'say no more and go get your girl'. "Thanks, mate. I'll keep you updated."

He wasn't sure Davos wanted to know any more than whether or not he found Dany safe and sound with all of the sulking he'd been doing the last several days.

Jon gathered up his toiletries from the bathroom in one hand, while his other was busy weaving around the airline website to book the soonest flight. To his relief, there was one in an hour and a half, which would give him just enough time to call for a rideshare and zoom his way over with thirty minutes to spare.

After the typical hell that was the airport and boarding process, plus the hole he burned through his credit card in just two hours alone (beyond worth it), he was in the air. Another torture was the distance; he managed to get himself a nonstop flight and shaved off two hours but still…

Naturally, he refused to sleep. His phone was clutched in his hand so the moment he landed, he could check it to see if he’d gotten any responses.

No luck.

He rushed through baggage and had already scheduled his next rideshare prior to his flight. Now that he was in his homeland and a mere twenty minutes from home, the anxiety and nausea were really setting in, the what-ifs and the endless possibilities; he wouldn’t know what he’d do if she wasn’t at the house…

When they pulled up, he was flooded with relief to see that her car was in the driveway, had he couldn’t have grabbed his luggage and get to the front door fast enough. He rifled for his keys and jammed it into the lock, Ghost’s howls instant and persistent until he got the door open and he whined upon seeing Jon walk through.

“Hey boy,” he greeted quietly, giving him a few good scruffs before haphazardly dumping his stuff on the floor and locking up behind him. He paused and strained his ears, exhaling when he heard the shower running upstairs.

Once he was in the conjoining bedroom, Ghost hot on his heels, he took his time shedding some layers and kicking off his shoes. On the nightstand sat a brown paper bag, folded shut, which was a little odd, but everything appeared to be in normal order. Their regular things skewed about as it was when they were there, Dany’s pajamas laid out on her side of the bed.

As he was going through his drawers to find some pajama pants, the bathroom door opened and he spun on his heel, just to confirm that she was there, safe and in the flesh.

A gust of air gasped into her mouth, her hand flying to her towel-clad chest as she jumped backward. “Seven hells! You scared the life out of me!” She breathed, her cheeks pink from the warm shower and damp hair tumbling about her shoulders. Even just the good-natured joke made him wince; it was the dormant worry that had been on his mind for hours now.

Then, a fond smile came over her face. “You’re home early.”

He was exhausted, and maybe that was why he couldn’t find it in him then to be playful, his brows twisting and her face falling a fraction. “You didn’t answer my texts or calls,” he said as gently as he could, but the fatigue was evident in his tone.

Dany blinked, then crossed her arms over herself, but she was still trying to keep it light. “Missi and I went on an impromptu girls’ vacation after my test and...,” she paused and stepped over to the mysterious paper bag, rustled her hand in it, then withdrew her phone and wiggled it, “dropped it into a pool.”

Jon took a moment to himself to shuck off his jeans and slip into his pajamas. He didn’t want to admit it...didn’t want to give her the ‘w’ word, but they were honest to the bone with one another. It was just how they programmed. He was still a little cowardly, avoiding her eyes when he said it. “I was worried sick about you.”

He heard her huff, and finally lifted his eyes to get a read on her. Clearly she was irritated, but not entirely furious. “There was nothing to worry about, Jon. I was stupid and dropped-”

“Not stupid,” he chided, cutting her a stern look. She was anything but.

Now she rolled her eyes. “It was only a little over a day; I didn’t think it was such a big deal if I just waited until I got home to try and fix it. All the stores were closed by the time I got in. And it was only a little over two days,” she defended.

Slowly, Jon frowned, and it grew deeper by the second. “A lot can happen in a little over two days, Dany,” he stated, tossing his jeans into the hamper in the closet.

“What did you expect had even happened?” She laughed humorlessly, getting more agitated by the second. Then she buried her phone back in the bag, which he now realized was full of rice, and disappeared into the bathroom, returning with her hair brush and began to detangle the damp knots.

He grit his teeth, fists clenching and loosening at his sides. “I don’t know, Dany, but I always get this terrible feeling in my gut after a period of time passes and I don’t hear from you,” his voice rose a hair. “I know you don’t want to hear it, and it’s bloody ridiculous on my end, but it kills me that I can’t turn it off. I worry when you’re at work, when you do a grocery run and I’m not there…,” he huffed and shook his head, running his hands down his face and briefly hiding behind them. He was overwrought with jet lag and lack of sleep and emotions on high, but he’d opened the floodgates now.

“Well, I’m not a fragile piece of glass that needs to be in a bubble day in and day out,” she returned, “or maybe I am, who knows! But I don’t want to be thought of that way. You know that. It makes me feel worse about myself and what I’m capable of and gives me heightened anxiety. I worry when you worry and it’s a vicious cycle!”

Closing his mouth, he forced himself to inhale a lungful of air through his nose, releasing it between his lips. “I do know. But it’s how I’m wired; I can’t help it sometimes.” Dropping his arms to his sides, he sighed. Gods, of course she wasn’t fragile. She was, far and away, the strongest woman, the toughest human being he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing let alone sharing a life with. He made it a point to remind her of that every single day, with all sincerity. She was the best thing that could have ever happened to him, bar none. Some days he wondered how and why he’d gotten so damn lucky, such as now. He was doing the very thing he swore he wouldn’t. Her father had been overbearing enough. And it wasn’t all-consuming always, but sometimes his nerves got the best of him.

Dany’s eyes narrowed. “Did you think I died or something?”

The dagger twisted in his stomach once more. “That’s where the worst of my thoughts went, yes.”

With a hard look and silence, she went back into the bathroom. For a while there was nothing but the sound of her trying to feed her brush through her hair.

“Dany.”

“What?” She asked through her teeth.

Maybe he ought to give her time and space to breathe for a few minutes, but gods, he needed her so, so bad. Just to physically hold her and know she was safe and whole and unhurt, but also that he had made a colossal fuck-up. He’d seen the tears welling in her eyes before she could hide them away, and it broke him. He was a blistering idiot. She had texted him that her test came back normal, and yet here he was with frazzled, totally frayed nerves.

Dany had one too many brushes with death in her young life, and he knew how she felt about that, too.

He crossed the room and stopped at the threshold, discovering that she was having a hell of a time getting the tangles out, and her face was scrunched adorably. Without a word, he reached for the brush and took it from her. A little stubbornly, her arms fell to her sides, defeated. Jon parted her hair in half and twisted it up out of the way while he gently began with the under layers first.

He could feel her eyes burning through him in the mirror. “I’m sorry,” he murmured as he looked her straight in the eyes, his voice thick and gruff.

Wordlessly she spun around and curled her arms around his shoulders, nestling her face into his neck. In return, he secured her against him, nuzzling into her half dried hair and kissing the top of her head several times.

All of the fear seemed to evaporate off of his shoulders having her gathered up in his arms, grounding him, and maybe even herself. They stayed like that for a while before Jon moved them to the bedroom and he had her sit, then crawled up behind her on the bed to finish her hair. Nobody spoke for a time, but it wasn’t a tense silence, at least.

Once he finished, she reached back to squeeze his thigh, then stood to her feet and dropped her towel. Although his body reacted as it always did, it was evident that they both needed a good rest. He scooted to the edge of the bed and after she’d pulled on her silky sleep shorts, he motioned for her to lift her arms, and he slid on the matching top.

Before he could move again, she stepped between his legs and curled her arms around his head, holding him against her abdomen while he, happily, linked his arms around her middle and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, too,” she whispered. Softly, she hushed him when he made a sound to argue. “I wish I didn’t get so defensive. Maybe it’ll get better with time.”

Shifting his head, he planted his chin on her breast bone and peered up at her, while she gazed back down on him and raked her fingers through his hair. “I don’t want you to change, Dany. Not anything, not ever.”

She studied his face for a few beats, her other hand cradling one side before she leaned down to kiss him sweetly. Jon did not consider himself a religious man, but she was the closest thing to heaven that he could conjure up. Rolling back, he took her with him fully onto the bed as she squeaked, and situated them so he could lay beside her. There was barely any part of them that wasn’t touching, their limbs a tangled mess.

“And anyway…,” he smirked slyly, “S’kind of sexy when you put me in my place.”

She quirked one thick eyebrow, her index tracing over his facial features. He was seconds away from completely passing out, the heaviness looming over his eyes. “Is that so?”

“Mhm,” he conceded lazily, sliding his hand under her shirt to smooth over her warm back, her velvety skin a contrast against his worn hands and making her shiver under it. “How was your vacation?”

Dany pulled a face, lifting one shoulder. “Fun, but I bet I missed you more than you missed me.”

“I doubt that very much,” he croaked, blinking slowly now, but fighting it. “Has your boss ever thrown you out of your workplace for moping over your husband?”

“Jon!” She gasped, perfectly affronted and pinching his cheek.

He chuckled sleepily, then buried his face in her chest, kissing at the exposed skin there. “I think it did everyone a favor, honestly. And it was almost completed anyway, so…”

“So, you risked a job you adore and traveled eight hours unplanned, all because my arse was clumsy and let my phone go for a swim?”

“No,” he resurfaced from the warm haven of her skin, tilting his head up to see her properly, “because I love you. And don’t think I wouldn’t do it again,” he frowned in thought as an idea formed, “maybe we should get you one of those old people phones that you can wear like a necklace.”

Dany tossed her head back with a burst of laughter, and Ghost materialized on the bed to see what all the ruckus was about, until he decided he didn’t care anymore and stole Jon’s side of the bed. Jon grinned madly, rolling onto his back. Dany folded her arms over his chest while she caught her breath, her hair a silver curtain around them. “You wouldn’t dare,” she challenged quietly, leaning over to switch off the lamp, then curled herself around him completely, her breath tickling his cheek. “I love you so much,” she whispered, her hand returning to his face to caress.

The dull moonlight filtered in through the window, casting one half of her face in a faint blue. She pulled him closer and he poured all of his words and soul into his kiss, giving her a few small pecks afterwards. “I love you more than anything in this world, Daenerys.”

#jonerys #jonerys drabble #fic prompts #is it really a drabble if its 2700 words?

[sweeetcreatvre]

God-Sent Angel

“I lied to you, Harry.” You looked up at him waiting for an answer and hoping he doesn’t get too upset with you.

a/n: i’ve been in a mood!! these last few days. i haven’t written in forever, but this idea popped into my head and the words just floated onto the page. i hope you guys like it! i am a very small page still, so if you see this if you could like, repost, and consider following i will love you forever. thank you for reading 🤍

pairing: harry x reader

warnings: explicit talk of mental/emotional abuse, please don’t read if you can’t handle it. this was heavily based off of my experience with my parents. this is not meant to try and romanticize abuse in any way, and please don’t take it like that. abuse is not fun, there’s no good side to it. a little angsty? fluff

word count: ~2.6k

•••

You met Harry when Sarah and Mitch introduced the two of you a little over a year ago. Sarah’s your best friend, you’ve known her since uni, and she’d convinced you to meet Harry by telling you that it would just make it easier for the two of you to hang out if they didn’t have to split their time between you and Harry and you all just hung out together.

You immediately took a liking to Harry. Because of your horrid anxiety and how awkward it made you, you usually hold back until you know people a little better, but something about Harry put you at such ease with him.

You hung out a couple times alone as “friends”, but both realized it was more than that when you declined Sarah and Mitch’s offer to go out because you already had a date with chinese take out and a line up of rom-coms you’d planned to watch for the night.

You and Harry bonded over cheesy movies. With his busy schedule and how difficult it is for him to go in public, you would watch movies at one of your homes and then reenact the scenes with him.

Things with Harry were easy, he made you happy, and he put you at ease.

•••

You went home to Manchester with Harry one day and truly had the best time. You loved how much his family cared for each other, and how they interacted.

That night, as you were laying on his chest in Anne’s guest room bed, you spoke the words that had been in your head all night, “I hope our family is like yours one day.” You didn’t really plan on saying it, the words just kind of came out.

You were worried you’d scared Harry by being so open about kids with him. You were serious obviously, having met his family and everything, but you hadn’t really talked about kids yet.

He still hadn’t talked causing you to look up at him and sit up a little. “I mean, not that we’re having kids or anything anytime soon, I just thought maybe one day, or not, That’s fine too.” You let it all back in one breath wishing you would’ve kept your mouth shut.

He pulled you back to his chest and kissed the top of your forehead before whispering, “(y/n), I want nothing more than to have a family with you one day. I love you, and I plan on keeping you around for as long as you’ll let me.”

You smile into his chest and place a soft kiss there. “I love you too,” your voice is muffled by his chest.

•••

After you met Anne and Gemma, Harry kept begging you to introduce him to your family. For a while you were able to put it off, saying they were in America, which is true, but not the reason you won’t let him meet them.

Your parents were... difficult. They never hit you growing up, not enough to leave any marks at least, but they yelled, and got angry, and got drunk, and got manipulative. Because they never hit you, it took you a long time to accept what they were doing was abuse.

When you turned 18 you applied to colleges abroad and got accepted into a university in England, you haven’t looked back since. Your parents were always the thing holding you back in life, so 3 years later, when your little brother turned 18 and moved out of the house, you cut off all communication with them. You still talk to your siblings, them being the only thing that kept you sane. You talked to them almost daily, and sometimes you’d even go visit them. Your oldest sister came to England a few times, her being the only one you fully trusted to not tell your parents where you lived.

But telling all of that to Harry was not something you were interested in. It was too much baggage, and no one ever understood how you could just cut off the people who raised you. It was always “They’re your parents, they love you, give them a second chance.” and you’re tired of hearing how you’re hurting them when they hurt you for 18 years.

So you made up excuses as to why he couldn’t meet them for as long as possible.

You spent your first Christmas together at Anne’s saying you couldn’t afford to go home, and you refused to take the money Harry offered to buy you a ticket.

That summer you compromised with him and your older sister came to stay with you.

Harry loved your sister. He said you act so similar, and he loves seeing you so happy. Your sister brings out a different side of you, and Harry adored it.

That also meant he just wanted to see more of your family.

•••

Harry had never spent a Christmas away from his family, and you didn’t want to spend Christmas away from him, so you were hoping that was enough for him to accept you not going home.

As you walked into Harry’s home after work he calls out to you “I’m in the kitchen, love!”

You walk into the kitchen and immediately your senses get filled with a pleasant smell. As you walk in, he turns from the stove to give you a kiss, but he holds you in his arms as you pull away from each other.

“Hi, baby,” you half-whisper half-laugh out to him.

“I missed you today,” he began pressing more kisses to your jaw then down your neck, but they were slow and sweet.

Your arms around his neck, you play with the hair at the nape of his neck, loving that it’s growing long again, the curls tangling in your fingers.

“What’s for dinner it smells delicious?” you ask him as he’s still kissing at your neck.

“You smell delicious, I’ll have you,” he mumbles in between kisses, but then his kisses picked up a faster pace and got more toothy.

You laugh at him and then gasp as he’s biting at your skin then soothing it with his tongue. However, you push him away because you’re starved, only having a small lunch because you had a busy day. “Baby, I’d love to but I’m starved, feed me first.”

He laughs at you then turns back to the stove. He lifts the lid on the soup pot so you were able to look inside. “I made your favorite, figured it would be nice for the snowy day it is.”

You smile at him, he never fails to make you so happy by doing simple things for you.

Your whole life you struggled with feeling like your presence was too much. Always calming yourself down so you were never too excited or too sad or asking for too much.

Harry never made you feel like that though. He went above and beyond for you time after time and you loved that about him. He’d never take your praises for it either. “‘s no big deal, just wanted to remind you how much I love you,” he would say, but to you that was a huge deal.

After you eat you clean up the dishes together and you’re ready to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie with him, but Harry has other plans for the evening.

“I have an early Christmas present for you,” he says after coming back from his bedroom where he disappeared for a few minutes.

“Harry..” you started, but he silenced you with his finger pressing to your lips.

“It’s for both of us really, and it can’t wait until Christmas, so you have to open it now,” he places a small wrapped box in front of you, “go on.”

You hesitantly untie the bow holding the top to the bow then take the lid off. Inside there’s two pieces of paper, two plane tickets. You read the information on the tickets and see that they’re round trip from the 22nd to the 26th and they’re to Indianapolis airport. AKA Harry has planned a trip for the two of you to go home together for Christmas so he can meet the rest of your family. Shit.

You stare at the tickets in disbelief, then at him, then back to the tickets. “H..” you start but you trail off, not even knowing what to do about this. He spent hundreds of dollars on you to meet your family, and gave up Christmas with his own too, and there’s no way you’re going.

He seems to pick up on the fact that you’ve been awfully silent. “Ya gonna say anything?” he asks carefully. You can hear in his voice that he’s afraid he’s messed up, but he’s trying to hide it with a smile and joke. He’s being so hesitant with you, scared to make a move or say anything.

You look up at him with shiny eyes, tears threatening to fall over. You were gonna say something now, but before you could Harry started again.

“Oh, God, I messed up didn’t I? I- I shouldn’t have done all this planning without even asking you. I shouldn’t have just invited myself home with you. You know what, it’s fine I don’t care about my ticket, you can go by yourself, I’ll stay here. You never see your family, I mean I should’ve known you would want to be alone with them. You go, I’ll stay here, I don’t care, just please stop looking at me like that or I swear to God I’ll start crying too. You’re the only thing I’ve ever been this scared to lose, I don’t care what you need. Take it, take it all.” The whole thing is rushed out and you can tell he’s freaking out.

You grab his hand, still in your place on the couch and he’s standing in front of you. You intertwine your fingers, “Can you sit down?” you whisper softy to him. He looks at you for a moment before moving to sit next to you, but you’re both turned sideways so you’re still facing each other.

“You can tell me if you don’t want me to come I won’t be upset.” He sounds so heartbroken by the idea that he’s scaring you off and it’s killing you.

“No, H, no, baby. I don’t want you going, but I’m also not going to go. It’s not the gift I love it, and I love that you always try to buy me the most personalized gift, but I just- I can’t go home.”

“I don’t understand. Your family is there, you- you should go be with them for Christmas.”

Staring at your hands in your lap you think of how you’re going to tell him this. “I lied to you, Harry.” You looked up at him waiting for an answer and hoping he doesn’t get too upset with you.

“What?” He’s not mad, just more confused.

“You haven’t met my family because I don’t talk to them anymore. My parents, I mean. I obviously talk to my siblings, you know i talk to them, but not my parents. I haven’t spoken to them in 4 years, and I intend to keep it that way.” A few tears have slipped down your face and your voice keeps breaking.

“Can I ask why?” His hand comes to rest on your cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb.

“They were abusive,” you barely whisper the words and Harry has you in his arms immediately his chin rests on the top of your head, and with shaky breath you cry into his chest, holding tightly around his waist feeling so vulnerable and exposed right now. You’re sitting sideways in his lap, one of his hands is on your back, the other on your waist and his thumb is rubbing back and forth on the small bit of exposed skin above your pants where your shirt has ridden up.

When your breathing has gotten a little more normal, you look up at him and he places a kiss on your forehead. “They weren’t physical, but the screamed.. a lot” your voice sounded weak, but it wasn’t as shaky.

“You don’t have to tell me. If you don’t want to, I mean. I believe you.” You shake your head.

“I want to tell you.” You felt so bad for lying to him for so long. “It wasn’t ever bad until I was like 11 or 12. My sister says she believes it’s just because she took a lot of the heat.” You have 2 older sisters, Charlotte and Sarah, they’re 9 and 11 years older than you. Your oldest sister was the target of a lot of their stunts. “She moved out when I was 8, Sarah when I was 9, and we had a couple good years. Then we moved in with my grandma, and shit hit the fan.”

“I struggled with the workload of my classes, and they didn’t like that, said it made them look bad. My dad would get mad and yell, he even told me he hated me once. My mom checked on them obsessively, and I’d get angry messages about how bad I’m doing during the school day.”

“When my grandma got super sick, everything got ten times worse. She was my rock and I saw her declining everyday from January-August. My dad continued to be up my ass about grades, while also drinking ridiculous amounts. My mom fell into what I think was a depressive episode, and would come home late and say things like ‘I didn’t come home because no body values me here anyways’ but not in a way that was sad, she’d be angry about it and yell about it to us.”

“After she died I had to learn to live without her, and I had no clue just how much she was keeping us together. The next 3 years was constant screaming and manipulation. My grades slipped a little, and they hated that I wasn’t their perfect little prodigy who just pranced around knowing everything anymore. They made me feel so worthless, and like my entire existence was a burden. I was too loud, and too talkative, and too lazy, but not smart enough, and I didn’t work hard enough, and I had no pride in the things I did.” You paused for a minute.

“You’re the only person that’s ever made me feel like I’m not too much or too little.” You whisper out the confession to him knowing that it is how you truly feel about him. “I moved here when I was 18, and cut off all ties with them when Carson turned 18. 3 years later. I’m the only one of us to actually do it, but I’m just so much happier without them in my life.”

“I’m convinced you’re an angel,” His voice cracks and you look up to him to notice he’s shed tear or two and more are threatening to slip out, “sent for me, straight from the gods, because I don’t think any human is as amazing as you. I don’t have any idea what I did to deserve and angel like you, but I’m never letting you go. I love you, and I love that you’ll cry in my arms and how open you are with me. You really are a god-sent fucking angel.” He’s cupping your face in his large hand now. “We won’t go to the States for Christmas. We’ll go to Manchester, and we’ll spend it with my mom and sister.”

“I’m sorry we’re not going, I know how bad you wanted to meet them.”

“No, baby, it’s ok. We’ll spend all the Christmases here, and one day we’ll host Christmas. With our family that will be just like mine, like you said you wanted the first time you met Mom and Gem. You’re gonna be so happy, that’s my life mission, to make my heavenly angel happy.”

“I am happy, H. Right here, with you.”

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fandom #harry styles fanfiction

[harpyloon]

“ginny, i always want to sleep with you” // hinny

Pairing: Harry Potter x Ginny Weasley

W.C: 2.5k+

Summary: Harry Potter is always a blubbering mess when it comes to Ginerva Weasley.

Warnings: pure fluff! sprinkles of angsty angst, squint and you’ll find mentions of war/battle and death. everybody lives AU!

A/N: A fic written for the @harryandginuary Ginuary gift challenge. Happy Ginuary @/gins-potter​ 😍😍😍I hope you ENJOY!!!

Read on AO3

Harry didn't think this through.

After defeating the Dark Lord and winning a wizarding war, he assumed he'd never have to think about anything ever again—at least not for a while. But gazing at her small blinking dot for almost half a year on a rotten piece of parchment apparently made him delusional, because at the moment—months after the battle of Hogwarts—sitting in the kitchen at the Burrow, his longing stare almost bore a hole through Ginny Weasley's face.

His Ginny.

Wincing to himself, Harry prodded on the peas in his plate. His subconscious when it came to Ginny was his greatest enemy and his biggest embarrassment. If anyone even came close to guessing what kind of dreams he had when it came to her... well... He breathed away the flush threatening to creep up his neck.

"More peas, Harry dear?"

Mrs. Weasley peered at him from the head of the table, a frown on her freckled face, "You've hardly eaten anything. Don't think I've noticed how skinny you've been getting again. I'd be having a word with Alastor about your Auror training. Ever since he got back he's been more insufferable—"

Snatching the dish of treacle tart in front of him, Harry filled his plate with a slice.

"I'm up for dessert now actually, Mrs. Weasley, thanks."

This seemed to satisfy her well enough. "Well, I whipped that up just for you so eat up."

He felt a nudge on his knee as Ron leaned in to whisper once Mrs. Weasley was out of earshot, "Save me some, will you? She goes barmy when we touch your treacle tart."

Harry smiled and nodded. Meals at the Burrow he was used to but he knew he'd never get tired of. His Auror training held him back a ton of weekends in the past few months, and being home felt splendid. Of course, he was never one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but Harry hoped Mr. & Mrs. Weasley knew how grateful he was.

Risking a glance across the table once again, Harry saw Ginny serving herself second helpings of mash. Her favorite, Harry thought. He remembered her hating Madame Pudifoodt's Tea Shop for its lack of savory spreads, the one time they attempted a visit during his sixth year. It ended up turning into a laugh as she snorted at all the snogging instead of actually drinking tea.

"So this is your kind of place, huh?" Ginny teased as she sifted through the menu.

Harry blushed, "Er—you don't like it? I kind of reckoned girls like this place..."

He chuckled nervously as she gave him a pointed look.

"Really, Potter?"

Breathing out a sigh of relief, he snatched the menu away from her, already standing.

"Three Broomsticks then?"

He knew he'd buy her all the Butterbeers in the world for the smile he earned.

A foot prodded Harry back to the present.

"What, Ron?" he grumbled.

Ron frowned at him. "What'd you mean 'what'"?

"You just—"

Someone coughed loudly across from them.

Both turning, they saw Ginny heaving over her mash, a fist in her mouth. Fred was rubbing her back soothingly beside her.

Harry blinked. It was her. She kicked him.

"Alright there, Gin?" Fred mused. "I told you to take it easy on the potatoes, you crazy woman."

"Do the Harpies know what kind of stomach they'll be feeding once they sign you in?" said George. "I bet you they'll break a sweat once they find out your appetite."

Ginny threw George a withering look after downing a glass of water. "Don't jinx it, you idiot."

"Have you heard back yet, Gin?" Ron asked over a mouth full of pudding.

"More like they haven't heard from Ginny," chuckled Hermione.

All the Weasley brothers gaped. Even Harry.

"What?" sputtered George, "You're making the Holyhead Harpies wait?"

The youngest Weasley scoffed. "I'm not making anyone wait. I was just standing by for the holidays before I give a reply."

"Well, it's the holidays now."

Ginny rolled her eyes and Harry's gut clenched. The mad part of his brain loved it when she did that.

"I am well aware," she said, "If you all are so eager, does anyone want to take my place then?"

Her brothers merely grumbled while Hermione laughed. It's been the talk of the town for a while now, after Ginny received a letter from the Harpies a few months after the beginning of her seventh year. The whole house went completely ballistic, even Hogwarts as well—or so Harry heard.

It took a month to bury the dead from battle and a whole summer to rebuild Hogwarts from the rubble; the Ministry was still in the process of rehabilitation, and the whole wizarding community was yet to heal, licking the wounds that Voldemort left behind. Ginny's Quidditch scouting was the first good news they'd received in a long time.

He didn't get back together with Ginny after the war, and there was no reunion like he'd always imagined in those long nights without her, in search for the Horcruxes. It wasn't as if they both avoided it, there just wasn't any time—time to talk, time alone, time for anything. Everyone had their hands full following the battle, and when things started to fall back into place, they've simply slipped through each other's fingers; Ginny whisked away by the Hogwarts Express, and Harry to the Ministry to begin his training as an Auror.

He considered moving on, especially on days when he'd think about her roaming the halls of Hogwarts, her fiery red hair blazing after her. She'd find someone, he thought bitterly. If she hasn't already.

But they'd written to each other, sparingly, although they did still. Short snippets of their day, what they ate for breakfast, the new set of professors at school, Mad-Eye's torturous lessons; Harry was the first person outside the castle to find out about her Harpies letter.

He caught her eye from across the table and she raised a brow at him as if to say What, Potter?

Chuckling under his breath, Harry shook his head and tapped the bowl of uneaten mash beside his plate. He saved it for her.

Ginny's gaze landed on it and her face lit up. If Harry didn't know any better, her hair seemed to glow even redder. His imagination loved to exaggerate his visuals when it came to her.

He felt a tiny poke on his toe as if to warn him not to react violently—she gave him a look and he pursed his lips, looking back down at his peas and moving them around once again. Then slowly, an ankle wrapped itself around one of his own and rested there.

Harry exhaled slowly, willing his pulse to calm.

He was not over Ginny Weasley at all. Not one bit.

 ----------✿----------

Creeping quietly down the steps, Harry tried his best to avoid the noisy floorboards (that he still didn't memorize to save his life). His two best friends didn't mention anything, but he knew they wanted some alone time. And he certainly didn't want to be around once the candles dimmed and Ron and Hermione started making eyes at each other.

He was almost at the first landing when the door to his left creaked open.

"Hermione?"

"Sorry. It’s me."

Ginny opened the door wider, gazing up at Harry, her face bemused. She was dressed for bed. "They kicked you out already?"

Laughing quietly, he said, “You know they’d never. I volunteered.”

She smiled knowingly. “Of course you did. Well, come on in then.”

Harry stared at her retreating form, clearly confused.

In? In where? In her room? Just the two of them?

Ginny disappeared inside but the door remained open.

Should he knock and ask her what she meant? Should he just go inside? It's not like he hasn't before.

Suddenly, the most recent memory of Ginny's room flashed through his consciousness—his 17th birthday.

"Something to remember me by."

Harry's ears grew hot. He refused to let that specific recollection surface when he wasn't alone, or in the confines of his own quarters. It made his brain go fuzzy.

"Harry?" he heard Ginny's faint voice from inside, then footsteps. She appeared by the door once again. When she saw his face, her brows furrowed. "What happened?"

Harry attempted to clear his throat without sounding like a retching toad. "Er—I'm—" he was sure his face was now as red as her hair, "I was going to take the couch actually," he managed weakly.

"The couch," Ginny said flatly.

He swallowed. "Y-yeah. Downstairs."

The silence was deafening and it stretched on for minutes. Or at least that's what it felt like in Harry's rowdy head. He needed to meditate. Merlin. He was losing it.

Finally, she said, "Okay. Goodnight then."

She gave him a strained smile then quietly shut the door before he could reply.

Harry stood there, mouth hanging open slightly.

Ginny Weasley just invited him inside her bedroom and he refused. He refused. Of all the things in the world that made him a blubbering idiot, it was his best friend's little sister. He always seemed to be dumbfounded whenever she was in the vicinity of his space.

"Idiot," he muttered to himself as he descended the stairs, no longer bothering to mask his footsteps. "Idiot, idiot, idiot."

Harry sulked his way to the living room, his mood most definitely dismal. Girls were a nightmare. He had no idea how their brains ever worked and every time he felt like he finally had a grasp at a situation, he was suddenly ten steps back.

He waved his wand mindlessly over the Weasley's tweed couch and leaned by the fireplace as he watched it transform into a small sofa bed.

Would he wake anyone if he flooed Sirius at this hour? He knew his godfather would still be up at Grimmauld Place, and would doubtlessly jinx him between the eyes if he found out what Harry had just done.

"You're just like James," he heard Sirius' voice say in his head. He never seemed to let this fact go, even when he knew that Harry was well aware of how he was a spitting image of his father. Sirius especially loved to point this out when it came to matters about Ginny.

"Dad actually ended up with Mum didn't he, Sirius," Harry growled under his breath as he settled on his makeshift bed, patting his pillow down with more force than necessary. He was in the mood for a petty fight and he wished his godfather was around for one.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps thumping down the stairs. Harry jostled into a sleeping position at once and took off his glasses, planting himself still in the awful case that Mrs. Weasley found him huddled on their living room couch. She wouldn't have the heart to wake him would she? He didn't want her causing a scene with Ron and Hermione. Harry tried as best as he could to look as wasted as possible, even attempting at a snore.

The footsteps came nearer, and he felt them stop by the door of the living room. He tried to even his breathing.

"Really?"

His eyes shot open.

Sitting up suddenly, he found Ginny standing by the doorway, her arms crossed. Only the dim moonlight illuminated the room, and Harry had to squint before he remembered he took off his glasses. His hands fumbled as he perched them back on, his eyes meeting Ginny's vexed gaze.

"Ginny," he said lamely.

"Are you seeing someone?"

"What?"

Her hair glowed in the dark space, like a warm halo around her head.

"You heard me."

Harry's pulse seemed to be skyrocketing. "Seeing someone? I don— no. No. I'm not seeing anybody at all."

Ginny looked skeptical. "Right."

Almost tripping over his own slippers, Harry barely managed to scramble to his feet in front of the only girl who plagued his dreams. He wanted to embrace her. Could he do that? Was he allowed to, still?

"Ginerva," he was breathless. "You have no idea..." Harry tried to calm his racing heart. Just get the words out, idiot. "You have no idea how much I think about you."

Her eyes gave nothing away as she looked up at him, and only her crossed arms kept the space between them. Harry saw tendrils of her hair stir as he exhaled. He wanted to kiss her.

When she said nothing, he lifted his hand experimentally, waiting for her to flinch or back away. Not sensing rejection yet, Harry trailed his fingers through the wisps of hair by her ear. He could smell her. He held himself from inhaling too deeply.

"Different shampoo?" he murmured.

Ginny sniffed, "Mum tried a different witch brand."

"Hmmm. Jasmine was my favorite."

She rolled her eyes. "I know."

Harry threaded his fingers through her hair, brushing her scalp now, and Ginny leaned into his touch.

He smiled. "But I like this one too."

"We should just share shampoos."

"Good idea."

They were silent for a moment. Just listening to each other breathing while Harry combed his fingers through Ginny's soft hair. The ends were still damp, he noticed.

"I missed you," she said suddenly, quietly. Her eyes were roaming all over his face as if gauging his reaction.

"I missed you too."

"But you don't want to sleep with me."

Harry's cheeks turned pink in the dark as he breathed out a laughed. "Ginny, I always want to sleep with you."

"I meant sleep sleep, you perv!" she pinched his stomach.

Trying to stifle his chuckle so as not to wake the rest of the house, he drew her in, finally bracketing her in his arms. "Ah, well, I mean that too, I guess."

Ginny huffed but melted with his touch. "I will have you know that I've turned down suitors for you, Harry Potter. So if you won't stake your claim, then I'd better take one of them up on their offers."

Harry's gaze narrowed. "Will you, now?"

"Watch me. Apparently, I'm quite popular with the Hufflepuffs—"

He leaned in lightning-quick, aiming for her luscious mouth. She expected it because her eyes closed in instinct, waiting for him to seal the connection. But Harry hovered. He felt the feathered touch of her lips on his but he stayed there, eyes open—trailing over her closed lids, the bridge of her nose, and the aggressive spread of freckles over the expanse of her cheeks.

"May I kiss you?" he asked against her lips.

Ginny's eyes blinked open but she didn't pull away. "Since when have you started asking?"

Harry was glad they were so close that she wouldn't be able to see his neck flush. "Since I let you go once."

This time, she did pull away, but only a tiny fraction. Just enough for him to witness her wrinkle her nose. "So saving the world has made you a complete sap."

She was teasing.

He shrugged, but grinned sheepishly nonetheless, "For you, yeah. I always have been though, haven't I?"

Twirling her arms around his neck and brushing her fingers through his unruly hair, Ginny pressed herself against Harry fully, her face shining with emotion.

"Then snog the living daylights out of me, Harry Potter."

#by gabi #hinny #hinny fic #hinny fluff #harry potter x ginny weasley #hinny post-war

[ghostofstudentspast]

I didn’t plan it

Remus x Reader

Hey guys! This is my first ‘angsty’ piece on here and I was all up in my feels about it so I hope you enjoy 😭💕

You were perched on the edge of the bathtub in your small flat. The flat you shared with your boyfriend Remus. After Lilly and James’ deaths he hadn’t been the same, he was flighty, quick to shut people out and had more trouble controlling his monthly problem.

It had been a long year since that fateful day when the love of your life had lost his best friends. All of his best friends. The only thing he had left was you now. He worked odd jobs tirelessly and so did you, keeping busy and keeping distracted from the pain. He’d wake up in a cold sweat most nights and you’d be there to run a hand through his hair and rub his back until his breathing calmed down and he could fall asleep again.

Back in your school days you had always helped the boys with Remus after a bad change. You had potions and ointments and plenty of chocolate to help him recover from his furry little problem. He would wake up in your dorm room with your head on his heart and somehow things wouldn’t seem so bad anymore.

These days he took on his transformations alone and it took a toll on him. New scars littered his body, often hiding them from you with bulky sweaters. You tried to talk to him, to let him help you like you used to but he had shut out the world.

So here you sat, on the cold rim of the bathtub, staring at the pregnancy test in your hand with tears steaming down your face. It was the third one you’d taken, all with the same little plus sign staring back at you. You loved Remus and you knew you would love this child but you couldn’t tell him. He was fragile enough as it is and you couldn’t add to that with the idea of a baby.

You quickly stuffed the positive test at the bottom of the bin and covered it with some tissues. You looked at yourself in the mirror and bit your lip to stop more tears from escaping. Splashing some water in your face, you collected yourself and got ready to face the day.

You quietly made your way to the kitchen to whip up some breakfast and get ready to go to work. You had been posted in saint Mungo’s as a healer for the past two years now and you needed to be alert for your job.

“Mornin’ Y/N,” Remus appeared at your side and kissed your cheek softly. He was aware of how down he’d been lately and how much of a toll it was taking on you. But he just couldn’t burden you with his anxieties and his pain after a full moon anymore. You had your own pain to deal with and your job was exhausting, he saw it in the bags under your eyes and the way you held yourself these days.

“Morning,” your voice was quiet, less cheerful than usual. Regardless of the situation you were always the sunny one between the two of you. Chipper and warm because you knew that Remus needed a little happiness in his life. “breakfast is on the counter, I have to go.” you muttered and grabbed your bag off the floor and made to step into the fireplace.

“Hey, are you okay?” you felt Remus grip your wrist lightly, tugging you back towards him gently. You turned to face him and refused to meet his gaze. Your eyes were red, your face blotchy, you’d clearly been crying.

“I’m fine Rem, just late,” you kissed his cheek and quickly darted into the floo. With a “Saint Mungos” you disappeared.

Remus felt nauseous, he pushed his eggs around his plate with a frown on his face. We’re you mad at him? Did something happen to you? Why wouldn’t you talk to him? He paced around the kitchen and waved his wand to clean up the dirty dishes. He suddenly became uncomfortably aware of how much he’d been holding back from you lately. How your frequent hugs had turned into hesitant touches. Your loving rambles had become quiet good nights. His hands rubbed his eyes as he realized how he’d shut you out over the past few months.

So caught up in his own grief he hadn’t even realized what he’d been doing to you in the process. Yet you’d stayed by his side. He didn’t understand why. And now he was convinced he was about to lose you.

“Shit,” he swore and slid down the wall to sit on the cold kitchen floor. Tears in his eyes he though about how he’d give anything to ask James for advice right about now. A hug from Lilly. A slap on the back and a snarky comment from Sirius. They weren’t there anymore, he couldn’t change that. But you were still with him, he could still fix that.

Stepping out of the fireplace into your flat you let out a soft sigh and brushed the dust from your work robes. It had been a long day, filled with some of the most draining magic you could perform. On top of that, you still hadn’t had time to process this morning. To your surprise you were greeted by Remus in your small kitchen, food laid out and ready on the table, candles lit and floating around the room. He was holding out a bouquet of flowers to you with a guilty look on his face.

“Remus?” you asked hesitantly as he stepped forward and laid the flowers on the table.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, you could see the tears brimming in his eyes as he ran a hand through his sandy hair in frustration, “I didn’t know, I didn’t realize I was shutting you out. I-I’ve been selfish and I didn’t think you’d want to deal with my problems on top of work and your own grief. I’ve been an idiot and I don’t deserve you. Y/N these last few months have been the worst of my life and you’ve done nothing but be a bright light in the darkness and I took that for granted.” He stepped closer again and gently took your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. His touches were hesitant, unsure if you would pull away.

“Rem all I wanted was to be there for you. I just wanted to hold your hand and make you tea and hug you when you’re sad. I wanted you to share the burden because it’s both our burdens. The boys were your family and I can’t replace that but I want to support you,” You hiccuped as tears streamed down your face, “you’re right, you were an idiot, but you’re my idiot and I just wanted you to see me.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he choked out and wrapped you up in his arms stroking your hair gently. “I’m sorry baby, I promise I’ll try harder. I’ll share my thoughts with you, I’ll hold you when you’re down, I’ll take care of you this time. You are my family.” at the word baby you lost it again and pulled back shaking your head.

“Rem-“ you whispered through your tears and his heart dropped through the floor. You refused to look him in the eye and couldn’t get out any more words.

“Please, give me another chance,” he begged softly, holding your face in his hands.

“Remus...” you took a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”

His eyes glazed over as he stared at you in shock, mouth slightly open. You pressed your nails into the palm of your hands, waiting for his reaction as he took his time to process the words that had left your mouth.

“I-it’s mine right?” he asked with wide eyes as his eyes flicked between your belly and your face.

“Yes it’s yours!” you let out and exasperated cry. Your hands wiped your hot tears away as you looked up at the ceiling begging the tears to stop.

“Our baby,” he whispered and engulfed you in a hug again, “our baby!” he cheered as he picked you up and spun you around. You couldn’t help but let out a relieved laugh as you started crying again, happy tears this time.

“You’re not mad?” you asked softly as he put you down again, pulling the both of you onto the soft couch in the living room. He perched you on his lap, gently rubbing your back as you looked at him, concern evident on your features.

“Why would I be mad darling?” he smiled up at you, “I love you.”

“I know but I thought maybe you wouldn’t want...” you trailed off chewing on your lip. A frown seemed permanently etched onto your face, “I thought maybe you didn’t want kids,“ you said softly.

“I’ll admit I didn’t plan on having kids, definitely not so soon. But I look at you and think, if our baby is anything like it’s mother I would be over the moon.” he reassured you, admiring how even when you were worried, sniffling and teary eyed, you were still the most beautiful person he knew, inside and out.

“And what if our baby is like you Rem? What then?” you voiced the unspoken question in both of your minds.

“I will love him or her all the same Y/N, it will just be a little extra work.” he kissed your shoulder and buried his face in your neck, “I know I haven’t been handling the moon too well since...since everything but I know I can be better. I have my potions and I have you...if you still want me.” he looked up at you tentatively.

“Of course I do, you silly man,” you shook your head with a smile and leaned down to press your lips to his. The kiss was sweet, pouring all of your love into it. A hand on each cheek, he held you as if he was afraid you might slip away.

“We’re in it together from now on I promise.” He said once you broke apart.

“You better keep that promise Mr. Lupin.” you smiled and curled up against him, listening to his heart beat.

And keep his promise he did, with the help of his wolfsbane potion the transformations were easier. With you by his side stroking his fur it wasn’t so bad at all. And when things got out of hand you were always there to feed him chocolate the day after, apply ointments and supply him with plenty of cuddles. When you were down or had a bad day at work Remus was there with a home cooked meal or a back rub or a gentle stream of whispered reassurances.

It wasn’t easy, you still had bad days but you communicated and let each other in. Around the moon Remus would get very protective of you and your now protruding belly. He’d refuse to let you do any house work, bring you treats in bed and pepper your tummy with kisses. He’d often talk to the baby in the mornings, singing his favourite songs under his breath.

When your baby boy was born you cried because he looked exactly like his father. Remus cried because he smiled exactly the way you did. You were happy, undoubtedly so. And Remus told stories about his time at Hogwarts and how his friends would have adored your little boy. Little James Lupin would never doubt that he was loved equally by his parents.

#harry potter #hogwarts #remus lupin #young remus #marauders #angst #harry potter angst #remus x reader #remus lupin fic #writing #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #pregnancy fic #pregnancy #remus pregnant reader #harry potter fic #harry potter blurb #harry potter blog #fanfiction

[sortasirius]

Half Yours, Half Mine

AN: *LIGHT SPOILERS for FATWS ep 3* Hello they are very much in love are they not?  That pining energy from Bucky is just off the charts in ep 3.  This is VERY angsty lmao

Pairing: Steve/Bucky

Words: 1569

One AO3 here

The day Steve gave Bucky the notebook, it was two days before Steve was meant to step on the new quantum tunnel.  (Let’s call it what it is, a time machine.  Bucky swears he’s living in a sci-fi novel sometimes.)  He and Bucky were up late, talking about the things Bucky had missed in the last five years, the time heist, the support group Steve had started, the incredible Italian restaurant in the Upper East Side that Bucky simply had to try, when Steve suddenly had pulled the worn little book out of his pocket and handed it, wordlessly, to Bucky.

“What’s this?” Bucky turned the notebook in his hands, looking up at Steve, whose soft smile was enough to melt anyone, even a super-soldier.

“It’s something I started when I came out of the ice, something to help me…catch up with things.  Like food, movies, music, historical events, things I missed when I was under. Things that people suggested, things I saw myself.  I want you to have it.”

“Why?” Bucky had tried immediately to put the notebook back in Steve’s hands.  He could feel this coming, ever since Tony’s funeral, he could feel Steve pulling away, making subtle, slight preparations for his absence.  He had been giving things away: his worn books to Pepper, a simple gold chain to Morgan, a strange little collection of postcards to Bruce, picked up throughout his time on the run, all little pieces of his life, little pieces that, Bucky realized, would be to remember him by.  Steve didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to.

“You’re not coming back are you?”

Steve’s face twists just slightly at Bucky’s words, reaching forward and pushing the notebook back towards him, refusing to take it.

“Come on, Buck.  You know I don’t belong here-”

“Neither do I, I don’t belong here any more than you do,” Bucky can’t help the slight color of desperation, of anger in his voice.  How can Steve even think of leaving him here?  Leaving him behind?

“I- I’ve thought about this for a few weeks.  I don’t want to leave you, I never want to leave you, but I just, I don’t think I can stay,” Steve is staring at the ground now, the guilt palpable in his eyes, his posture.  He knew what his absence would cost the world, would cost the Avengers, would cost Bucky.  Did he know how much it would cost Bucky?  Did he really know?

Bucky can feel panic rising in his throat, the idea of being left alone in a big, wide world, a world without Steve?  How does he tell Steve to stay?  How does he tell Steve that he can’t live without him?

“Steve-”

Steve cuts him off before he can even start, like he can read his mind.  There were days that Bucky had wondered if maybe he could.

“I know how it seems, that I’m running away.  From the world, from you.  I’m not Buck, and I don’t want you to think- I just...I saw her, Peggy, when we went to get the stones, and I swear I saw this vision, this future of my life with her, what my life would be.  And that’s what I want.  Natasha, Tony, they sacrificed everything, and maybe I have too.  They told me to get my own life…this is a way I can do it.”

Bucky doesn’t say the words bubbling like acid in his chest, words that he had kept down, hidden, away from everyone since he was sixteen years old.  Words that he wanted to say to Steve, things he wanted Steve to know, he way he felt about Steve, the way Steve made him feel when he looked at him for a second too long.  Words that would be left forever unsaid except inside Bucky’s head, before his dreams turned to flashes of long-dead nightmares.  He had never been a hero, only a coward, and his inability to say these words proved it.

Now was no time to be a hero.

“Okay, Steve.  Okay,” is all that comes out of his mouth, and even though he can feel his heart rip into two, the smile that Steve gives him is almost worth it.

“I’m still with you.  Always.  Til the end of the line,” Steve points to the little book in Bucky’s hands, “I’ll be right there.”

Bucky can’t say anything, and Steve is watching him with what looks like longing in his eyes.  Does he want Bucky to beg him to stay?  Bucky wants to, he wants to with all his heart, but if this is what’ll make Steve happy…

They lean forward at the same moment, and Bucky tries to let all his feelings, all those unsaid words that were trapped in his throat bleed into the embrace.  He’ll never be able to say them, never be able to look Steve in the face and tell him everything, tell him the whole truth, but if he could let the contact with his skin be some kind of reminder, maybe he would learn to accept that that was enough.

Steve is the one to break the embrace, and Bucky can feel the heat of him lingering on his skin, and Bucky clings to the feeling, trying to commit the way Steve held him to memory, placing it in the empty space where the Winter Soldier used to be, letting this memory bloom and sprout like a beautiful garden, filled with forget me nots and daffodils, the perfect mixture of blue and blond.  Bucky swears to himself that he’ll tend this garden, feeding it with the memories of Steve, the memories that not even HYDRA could take from him.  He and Steve spending all day at the movies, laughing at the commercials and eating too much popcorn.  He and Steve getting their apartment together in Brooklyn, sleeping on the floor for three weeks because they couldn’t afford beds.  Finding each other again in the middle of a war-torn Europe, Bucky accepting that Steve was suddenly taller than him.  These memories would be the water, the sun in the sky to the garden in his mind, the garden of flowers that would be a constant reminder of Steve.

“You’ll be fine, Buck.  I believe that.”

“I’d like to believe it too.”

Steve smiles again, reaching out to run his hands through Bucky’s long hair.  Bucky closes his eyes at Steve’s touch, leaning into the warmth of his fingers.

“Just take a look at the list if you feel lost,” Steve pulls Bucky in again, hugging him tightly.  

“I’ll miss you, Steve,” Bucky blurts out, still holding onto the sleeves of Steve’s jacket with all his might, refusing to put any more space between them.  Steve huffs a little laugh, meeting Bucky’s eyes with a smile, with acceptance, with anticipation, with joy.

“I’ll miss you too, Buck.  But it’s time for me to go.”

The notebook had become the piece of Steve that Bucky could cling to, that and Steve’s dogtags, which had been folded tenderly in the back with a scribbled note from Steve:

Keep these safe for me.  I’ll see you on the other side.  Always, S.

Bucky had gotten better now, he only read that note ten times a day instead of fifty, a hundred, a thousand.

He had taken his time, going through the pages of things that Steve had wanted him to see, sometimes imagining that Steve was there with him watching Rocky for the first time, trying Thai food from a restaurant down the block from their old building, or listening to Nevermind. Steve had been right, he was with Bucky in everything he did, every new thing that he tried. His garden of memories continued to bloom, all blue and yellow and gold, maybe with just a hint of green.

Maybe this was why Bucky had put his list to make amends in the same notebook.  Maybe, just maybe, Steve would be with him when he spoke to these people who he had so deeply wronged as well.  He liked to think it worked, that Steve’s warm hand was on his shoulder as he worked to make amends, even if sometimes he had to work up to it, or made the wrong step (though really, was what he did to that Senator really the wrong step?). Steve’s notebook became their notebook, and it was a living memory of Steve, one that grew like the garden in Bucky’s mind.

Bucky also makes a list, in the very back of the book, next to Steve’s last note to him, of things he wanted to tell Steve.  

There was a bluebird outside my window today, you’d have loved it.  

I was thinking of buying an old motorcycle and fixing it up, remember when we almost died that summer trying to race our old ones around the block and the brakes gave out?

Thai food is definitely a yes.  So is Star Trek.  You’d be a gold shirt, I think I might too.

Bucky keeps the back of the book a secret, never writing one of these notes in front of another soul.  These were for him and for Steve alone, a reminder that, no matter where in time and space Steve Rogers was, Bucky would always be thinking of him, always growing that garden of blue and blond memories in his mind.

#stucky #my writing #not spn #marvel #mcu #fatws #spoilers

[alls-fair-in-pride-and-prejudice]

Fluff Fandom Fic Request: Modern day Aaravos coming home to significant other who's had a rough day and he tries to cheer them up and they be cute n shit idk go nuts xD

Modern Day Aaravos x Reader - Chase the Darkness Away

A/N: The premise of this AU I’m using is that in the centuries that Aaravos was in the mirror, Xadia advanced to modern day technology. So, we still have magic and Aaravos is still the same sparkly elf. How did he escape the mirror? How did he meet the reader? Who knows and who cares! As I told you, king-bito in a private message, I turned this into therapy for myself, so it might be a tad more angsty than I planned. Sorry, but hopefully it can provide you or someone else some comfort in a dark time.

“Darling? How long have you been sitting there like that?”

I did not hear him come in, curled in on myself in a ball on the couch. I straighten myself, causing my back to protest in pain. “Um… what are you doing home already?” I ask, hastily wiping at the dried tear tracks on my face.

Aaravos furrows his brow ever so slightly. “It’s six pm.”

Oh… that means I have been sitting like this in my miserable state for… seven hours. My stomach growls, protesting the fact that in that time I forgot to eat. Aaravos sits next to me, reaching out to take one of my hands in his, unclenching my fists with some gentle prodding. “When was the last time you ate?” His lovely voice is laced with concern and gentleness.

Ashamed, I mumble my answer, “I had some cereal around ten-thirty.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not enough. You need to take care of yourself.” With surprising strength (or not so surprising, he had a lot of time to build up his strength during his solitude) he pulls me off the sofa and shoos me to the bathroom. “Go take a shower while I make dinner. You’ll feel better, and I expect you to eat when you get back.”

He has such a commanding presence that even my depressed ass cannot refuse him, although my shower consists more of staring into the void than actual cleaning. When I return with towel-dried hair, Aaravos is putting the finishing touches on a pasta dish. His options for sustenance were so limited in the mirror that he has really taken to cooking ever since regaining his freedom. When I sit down at the kitchen table, he places a heaping portion in front of me. “Try not to eat too fast; I would not want you to get sick.”

He sets up his own serving and sits next to me on the small table. All I can do is stare at the food in front of me as tears well up in my eyes. Aaravos stops in the middle of a bite to lean over and stroke my cheek, catching a tear with his thumb as it spills over my lashes. “What’s going on, love?”

I do not deserve him, this gorgeous, magical man that, after a long day, comes home to see me having done nothing of worth and sets about taking care of me with barely a word. I feel too pathetic, too weak to be in his life, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it, about the demons that came to plague my mind and body today. There is nothing I want more than to be better for him, to rely on my own strength instead of having him help care for me. Why should he care about my struggles? When will he see that I am not worth his love and leave me?

But on top of everything else wrong with me, my voice decides to stop working now, too, and I cannot share with him what troubles me. Aaravos waits patiently for me to answer until all I can give him is the indication that I cannot speak. He pulls his chair closer to me and touches his fingers to my forehead. “May I?” he is asking permission to use a spell on me, to which I nod.

With a few muttered words and a sweeping motion on my head, his eyes begin to glow, light sunlight shining through an opal. I bring all my thoughts to the surface, all the pain and conflicting emotions, hoping he will understand. When the light fades, Aaravos pulls me into an almost crushing hug, arms like a vise around me. “It’s okay, I understand,” he whispers in my ear.

When he pulls away, he takes a forkful of food and holds it up to my mouth. “Please just eat a few bites,” he requests. Then, with a teasing tone and that hot smirk of his, he adds, “Do not make me feed you, I know your pride would not survive it.”

I take the fork from him and eat a bite. It is delicious, of course, because apparently this elf has to be amazing at everything he does, the lovely bastard. We set about eating together in silence, until I see a butterfly flit over my food. It floats along and lands on the back of my hand, wings opening and closing lazily. It looks like a piece of the night sky was caught on its wings.

Glancing up, I see the entire kitchen covered with these butterflies, flitting around and glowing like fireflies. It makes the room feel like a planetarium and butterfly garden all at once, my two favorite places to go brought to our home. I leap out of my seat to enjoy the sight better. They are clearly illusions, since they disappear if I touch their wings, and I cannot feel them if they land on me, but I could care less for how beautiful it looks. I twirl in the swarm of butterflies, my worries temporarily forgotten. Aaravos stands from the table to hug me from behind and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “It is good to see you smiling again.”

I lean back into him, turning my head to kiss him on the lips. “You’re an expert at making me smile.”

Aaravos continues to hold me, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Did you think I spent every day in my prison constantly productive? Reading and improving myself and attempting to escape?”

I am a bit surprised by the question. “Well… yeah I guess I did,” I admit.

Aaravos chuckles, a hollow sound that seems almost sad. “I did not. There were days that all I could manage was to stare into space, days I felt so numb that I could barely move. I did my best, but there were many times that my best only consisted of breathing.” He spins me around in his arms so I can see the sincerity in his golden eyes. “So, do not, for a moment, believe that I think less of you for these days you struggle. I help you because I care about you and because I had no one to help me.”

When I am in pain, I can forget about how much Aaravos has been hurt, especially since he carries himself with such grace and strength. I pull his face to mine so our foreheads touch, a reminder to the both of us that we are no longer alone.

One by one, the butterflies dissolve into stardust and disappear, and when we go to bed, we hold each other close, the mere presence of the other enough to chase the demons away for a little while, leaving us refreshed to fight again in the morning.

#tdp aaravos #aaravos x reader #the dragon prince fanfiction #modern day au #alls fair creations

[artificialqueens]

The Blue Neighborhood Series: SUBURBIA (Group) - Mac

AN: A million and one thanks to everyone who has been here for this journey, I cannot thank you enough for your support and comments and love. I’m so thankful to have you guys and I hope this last chapter lives up to your expectations.

All my love to Meggie for betaing. All my love to Alex who made me actually start writing this series a year ago. All my love to Barbie for letting me bounce ideas off of her.

All my love to you all reading this. <3

Summary: The girls of the Blue Neighborhood grew up together. Playing in the streets, trading secrets, and falling in love.

And maybe, just maybe, they can forgive each other.

Rock bit back a smile as she heard footsteps bounding up the stairs to the prop room.

A week ago she would have scuttled into the far corner and hid until the person left, but now, as Aiden’s flushed face appeared in the doorway, Rock felt only a trace of nervousness.

“What’s up, bitch?” Aiden said by way of greeting.

Rock rolled her eyes, but patted the cool stone floor beside her, motioning for the other girl to sit. Aiden took her spot silently, the two falling into a sort of semi-comfort that they had developed over the past weeks.

Rock pulled out her phone, instinctively tapping through the screen to pull up the next episode of Sailor Moon.

She felt rather than heard Aiden’s complaint from beside her. “We are not watching this garbage again,” the dark-haired girl said, making a grab for the phone in Rock’s hand. But Rock had been anticipating this, and snatched her hand away in the nick of time, ratcheting up the volume a few notches to drown out Aiden’s groan of defeat.

“You were the one who busted up into my lunch spot. You can either bite your tongue or find another place to hide from everyone who’s pissed at you,” Rock retorted. “Also, don’t pretend you don’t like it, I see the way you look at Neptune, you fucking lesbian.”

Aiden rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth twitched up. “First of all, you’re a bitch. Second of all, shut up.”

Rock smirked. “I don’t hear you denying it.”

Aiden waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, just play the damn show so I don’t have to hear you talk anymore.”

Rock smiled smugly to herself, pressing play and sinking back against the cold brick wall, Aiden’s warm presence heavy at her side.

The two watched in relative silence, save for Rock’s occasional need to info dump about a particular scene or character. Aiden rolled her eyes and gave her biting comments, but Rock could tell she appreciated the attention not being on her.

Ever since Aiden had been outed as the person behind the drama account, she had sunk even more into the background. Where before she would pipe in with snark and wit, now she sat back in silence, letting herself practically disappear in the horde.

Rock understood the feeling in a way.

Maybe that’s why they seemed to get along.

Aiden had stumbled up to the prop room one day, seeking asylum from her mistakes, and Rock had let her.

But questions still ate at her, bit at the tension in the air around them as they continued to watch in silence. Rock could feel them steadily bubbling to the surface, tempting her to ruin the peace she and Aiden had found.

She bit the bullet, pressing pause, noticing her breathing was coming out harsher than before.

“Why’d you do it?” she asked.

The question hung still in the air for a long while, so long that Rock nearly looked up to see if Aiden was still sitting beside her.

The older girl sighed, long and low. “You promised you wouldn’t bring it up.”

“Yeah.” Rock nodded, turning to meet Aiden’s eyes. “I lied.”

Aiden broke the contact, putting her head in her hands and letting out a shaky exhale. Rock expected her to leave, to lash out and storm away.

But Aiden just breathed in and out once more before lifting her head, staring at the stone floor intently. “My parents got divorced the summer before freshman year,” she said slowly, as if testing out the words on her tongue. “It came out of nowhere. There were no big fights or warning signs, just… divorce. And Mom never said why.”

Rock saw the other girl’s features soften the tiniest bit before harsh lines replaced them.

“We were happy. A happy, normal family. We played board games and went on camping trips and spent hours staring up at the clouds.” Aiden bit her lip harshly. “It came out of nowhere.”

She took a steadying breath before speaking again. “And then my dad got real sick. Couldn’t be on his own so he moved back in. And I couldn’t—” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t know how to be there… in that house.”

“Everyday I would come back from school and I’d have lost a little more of him,” she practically whispered, voice suddenly hoarse and grating. “Mom did her best, caring for a man she didn’t love anymore, but she worked, and I went to school and… and… and we weren’t there for him.”

There was a beat of silence before Aiden spoke again. “I didn’t go home the week after he died. I slept in the theatre seats down there, showered in the locker rooms. Fuck.”

Rock didn’t know what to say, couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering that lived inside this girl she had known for so long.

Aiden’s expression hardened, but she still refused to look up from where her eyes were fixed on the floor. “That week I started noticing stuff. People doing shit they weren’t supposed to, shit that didn’t make sense.”

“The account wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, just a place to post dumb shit about the people who were dicks to me.”

Aiden finally turned to meet Rock’s gaze, her eyes wide and helpless. “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand, but all of a sudden people found it, and were sending the account other stuff. Confessions, kinks, teacher-student relationships and I-I didn’t know what to do.”

“And then I saw Gigi and Jaida,” Aiden exhaled shakily.

“And I remembered how hurt Crystal had been all those years ago, how hurt she still was about the whole thing. And I tried to bring it up to her, but she shot me down. And I tried to let it go, I really did.  But they just kept hooking up, and they weren’t even being secretive about it. And after three fucking years of hurting Crystal, I thought they deserved a little bit of shit for what they did.”

“So you posted the picture.” Rock nodded.

“Yeah.” Aiden sighed.

Rock took a deep breath in and out. “I didn’t know that, about your dad.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t want the pity. I didn’t want people… looking after me. It didn’t feel right since I didn’t-I couldn’t look after him.”

Rock nodded. “That all must have been…” She paused. “Really overwhelming,” she said lightly, placing a gentle hand on Aiden’s shoulder.

Aiden scoffed, shrugging off Rock’s affection. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you…” Aiden floundered, “I dunno, understand. Like you’re not mad.”

Rock shook her head. “Oh, I’m mad,” she assured.

Aiden looked down to her fingers, toying with the laces of her shoes.

“But I get why you did it.”

Aiden shook her head, words coming out in a desperate whisper. “I’m not sure I do.”

“You want answers.” Rock shrugged. “That’s all any of us want. You want to know why your parents divorced, you want to know why people lie, you want to know how someone could cheat on someone else.”

Aiden looked up to meet Rock’s eyes, the first look of genuine vulnerability passing between them.

“You don’t get to know.” Rock smiled sadly. “You gotta suck it up like the rest of us and get comfortable with not knowing.”

Aiden’s gaze darted away, breaking eye contact again, but Rock didn’t stop. “You don’t get to make up a narrative and force other people to fit it. You wanna be emo and angsty and upset at the world, fine, you do that, but you don’t get to ruin other people’s lives just because you got dealt a shit hand in life.”

“Tough talk for a bitch hiding in a prop room,” Aiden snapped.

Rock chuckled. That’s the Aiden she knew. “In case it escaped your notice, you’re also up here hiding, dumbass.”

Aiden looked at Rock hard, walls up, defenses primed, ready to attack.

But then she laughed.

Really, genuinely laughed.

And she didn’t stop.

She didn’t stop until tears started streaming down her face, and she was hiccuping around sobs she desperately tried to fight off.

And Rock held her through it.

…

Brita couldn’t help a smile as she made her way down the hallway and through the open doors to the art room. She was met with a chorus of greetings that still managed to make her stomach flip.

She took up her usual seat next to Heidi, and the two began to trade the entirety of their respective lunches. They fell into easy conversation, as the couples on either side of the room were too absorbed in each other to pay them any mind.

Brita watched them out of the corner of her eye, blaming it on curiosity.  

Nicky and Crystal sat next to each other, smiling ear to ear and occasionally feeding each other bites of food like lovesick idiots.

“They’re so gross,” Heidi groaned from beside her.

The two girls in question whipped around to glare at her.

“I miss when you were both too gay to talk to each other. Can we go back to that? I miss that.” Heidi whined, stabbing at the pasta Brita brought with a fork.

Crystal raised a challenging brow at Heidi, and without breaking eye contact, which was a feat in and of itself, pulled Nicky in for an overly loud kiss.

Heidi scowled. “I hate y’all.”  

Brita laughed at the pair, but as their kiss became more heated, she turned her head, hoping to conceal the flush that ran the length of her neck.

She shook her head to clear it, mind suddenly muddled as she tried to piece together the feelings welling up inside her at such a public display. Her eyes flitted around the room, latching on to anything that could keep her attention.

She saw Gigi, who was perched on one of the tables, elbows resting atop her knees, head in her hands as Jackie rambled on about something to do with a new congresswoman who was ‘changing the political game.’

They seemed… comfortable. At ease around each other in a way that wasn’t unexpected, they had known each other their whole lives, yet Brita was still shocked when they announced they were dating. But now, looking at the two sharing gentle smiles over their respective lunches, Brita didn’t know why she never put the two together before. The pair was well-matched. Their quiet intimacy seeped into their conversation, gentle giggles erupting every so often from their side of the room.

Brita again found herself oddly entranced.

Was that what it was like to love a woman?

Was it always so… tender?

Nausea filled the pit in her gut, and she turned away from the happy couple.

Internalized Homophobia.

She had read about it on the internet. Hadn’t batted her eye at the definition the first time, but now it seemed to be coming back to her.

It didn’t feel good, not at all. Confronting that about herself. Seeing such blatant representation of something she had learned to bury so long ago.

But it wasn’t impossible.

She knew that to get to the bottom of this… whatever it was she was feeling, she had to confront it head on. She had to understand where it came from and why it seemed to hurt her so much.

These girls, these couples moreover, were showing her that it didn’t have to be so hard. That there was a chance for happiness, unabashed joy even. Love.

And that, funnily enough, gave her hope.

Heidi chuckled from beside her, noticing her red face. “You sure you don’t like girls, Miss Filter?”

It took everything in her not to flinch.

Instead, Brita simply shrugged.

And she counted that a victory.

…

Widow started as she nearly ran headfirst into a lanky brunette.

Before she could so much as say something, the figure had bolted toward the school building. Widow just watched him go, an amused smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. As she rounded the sports shed, she overheard her friend’s voice clear and brash as always.

“Matthews only cares if your paper’s in fucking English, doesn’t matter the content.”

A short blonde girl rolled her eyes pointedly and went to say something, but Dahlia stopped her with a hand. “You know the rules yeah? Change the first and last word for each paragraph.”

The girl nodded.

Dahlia pulled out a handful of loose papers and held them out to the freshman, who grabbed them wordlessly. “Now get lost.”

Widow smiled as the young kid scampered off.  

“You really should charge them more,” she called out.

Dahlia started at the sound of another voice, but relaxed as she identified the source.

She smirked, shrugging. “Consider it a donation to charity.”

“I dunno if you can count having half the freshman class cheat off of you for tax write-offs.”

Dahlia chuckled.

“You ‘bout done here?” Widow asked, gesturing to the makeshift office Dahlia had set up.

The younger girl nodded, throwing papers haphazardly into her open backpack.

Widow looked around, the breeze ruffling her curls and sending a shiver down her spine. “Yeah, let’s get outta here, this place gives me the creeps.”

“You think this place is bad, you should see the old greenhouse. That shit’s fuckin’ haunted, man.” Dahlia shook her head.

Widow’s eyes lit up. “The WHAT?”

Dahlia turned to stare wide eyed at her. “You serious? You ain’t ever gone by it?”

Widow shook her head dumbly.

Dahlia chuckled, flinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Lead the way, bitch.” Widow smiled.

They walked for only ten minutes, past the baseball field and through the line of trees that bordered the athletic quad. Through a patch of thick brush they came to a small clearing. An old greenhouse stood practically tethered to the surrounding vegetation, only because of the fading light reflecting against the frosted glass could Widow even make out the corners of the structure.

Before they could so much as stop, Widow was excitedly pulling her camera out of her school bag, fiddling with the aperture until she got the lighting perfect on the small screen in front of her.

Dahlia rolled her eyes fondly, allowing her friend to stalk around the building, snapping endless pictures, mumbling about shutter speed and light refraction. It was only a matter of time, and a few pleading words from Widow, before Dahlia found herself posing next to the greenhouse.

“I regret this already,” she groaned but allowed Widow to pose her in various absurd positions, all of which felt incredibly awkward, yet came out stunning.

The two girls ventured into the structure, finding the inside just as overgrown and sprawling as the outside. It felt much bigger on the inside, wooden tables covered in pots lined the walls, leaving only a center plot of ground to walk, but the walls were massive, green tint to the window panes making the ceiling appear vaulted.

“This place is gorgeous, oh my god!” Widow exclaimed, practically jumping up and down in excitement. She whipped around to face Dahlia, eyes alight with her signature mischief. “Oh my god, D, we could totally give this place a makeover.”

Dahlia went to protest, because really? But Widow started talking a mile a minute before she could get a word in.

“Just move that plant over there and that table against the far wall, and we could probably fit a couch in here if we turned it sideways. My dad has this old one in the basement that we don’t use. We could get Jaida’s truck and haul it here. And I know Crystal would fucking love to paint in this place. Not to mention we could totally smoke here without getting caught. And—”

Dahlia finally butted in. “What do I look like? Fuckin’ HGTV?”

Widow rolled her eyes, turning to face her friend, the plea evident in her tone. “This place could be a really bangin spot, D,” she implored. “Plus, with it gettin cold an’ all, we’ve got fuck all to do.”

Dahlia sighed. “Remind me why we’re friends.” Even as she said it, Dahlia couldn’t keep the smile from creeping up the sides of her face.

“Because you love me.” Widow whined, pulling Dahlia closer, and peppering kisses against the side of her face.

Dahlia pushed her off gently, miming vomiting, and Widow just laughed.

The two cleared off a bit of the tables, each setting up across from each other. They fell into a comfortable silence, inhaling and exhaling the late autumn breeze, watching as their breath danced in the air.

“You talked to Gigi?” Widow finally asked, shattering their peaceful silence.

Dahlia sighed, long and low. “Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “Said I was sorry about the stuff at the party. I didn’t know… I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I had no clue.”

“None of us did.”

“Yeah, but it was kinda my fault in the first place.”

Widow shrugged. “It woulda come out one way or another.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dahlia bit her lip, refusing to meet Widow’s eyes.

“But?”

“But, I still gotta talk to Jan.”

Widow sighed, but nodded her head knowingly. “Yeah, you do,” she agreed.

“I just don’t know how the fuck to go about it.”

Widow scoffed. “Maybe start with ‘I’m sorry.’”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Dahlia groaned, letting her head drop into her open hands. “Fuck, man. I really messed up.”

“You knew that when you fell for another girl’s boyfriend,” Widow replied.

“Yeah, but it just got so complicated.”

Widow nodded, smiling sadly. “That’s life for ya. Doesn’t mean you don’t do the right thing.”

Dahlia nodded into her hands, breathing in and out slowly. When she finally looked up to meet Widow’s eyes, she nodded. “She and Bryce broke up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he told me last week. I didn’t know how to feel.”

There was a pause. “How do you feel?” Widow asked.

Dahlia looked at her for a moment, mind everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “I dunno. I thought I’d be… happy? I guess. But I just feel… nothing.”

Widow nodded. “Well, hey, if you’re ever feeling down, just know that Joe asks me at least once a month if you’d join us for a threesome.”

Dahlia laughed, even though she hadn’t wanted to. “I’ve still got it,” she joked.

Widow rolled her eyes playfully. “You’ve always had it, bitch. You just been wastin’ it on guys you couldn’t have.”

“Yeah yeah, all right, who are you, my therapist?”

Widow suddenly got very serious, her voice grave. “Don’t even joke about that. That’s fuckin’ terrifying.”

“Hey!” Dahlia yelled, flinging a handful of dirt at her friend.

Widow held up her hands in surrender. “Your mind is a scary place, D.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

…

Heidi looked up as the door to the house across the street opened and closed, revealing an exhausted looking Jaida.

The All-Star player exhaled loudly, leaning against her front door. When she opened her eyes, she saw Heidi and had the decency to look embarrassed.

Heidi just smiled knowingly. “You too?”

The tension in Jaida’s shoulders dissipated as she recognized Heidi’s meaning. “Dude,” she exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know.” Heidi chuckled.

“It’s like… they don’t know how to act like people.”

“I know!” Heidi agreed. “What’s with that?”

“The fuck if I know.” Jaida smiled warmly.

“Promise me if I ever get old and start acting like that you’ll just shoot me in the head.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Jaida chuckled.

“Hey!” Heidi scoffed, waving the bowl she had around animatedly.

Jaida just laughed, easy and light.

“Whatcha got there?” She motioned to the Tupperware in Heidi’s hands.

A mischievous smile broke out across Heidi’s face. “Banana pudding,” she winked. “Best you’ve ever had, I guarantee.”

Jaida’s eyes lit up and she raised a brow inquisitively at the dish.

“Go grab a few spoons and you can try some.” Heidi nodded.

“A few?”

“If you think we the only ones with crazy family on Thanksgiving, you got another thing comin’.”

As if on cue, the door to Jackie’s house banged open, the aforementioned girl storming out the door and into the street, breathing harshly. Heidi could feel the anger and hurt rolling off her in waves, and felt sympathy well up inside her. She knew Jackie’s family was rough, they’d been especially difficult the past month with her relationship with Gigi coming to light.

Heidi didn’t think twice about waving her over with a sweeping gesture.

“Hey, guys,” Jackie exhaled, the lines beside her face appearing deeper than they had a few days ago.

The two gave her sympathetic looks.

Heidi clocked the moment Jackie noticed the dish in her hands, her eyes widening a fraction. Heidi patted the ground beside her. “Jaida’s gonna go grab spoons.”

Jaida rolled her eyes but made her way back into the house.

Just then, Nicky’s door opened and the French beauty made her way outside, lighting a cigarette like a reflex as she noticed the girls. She waltzed over to them, smiling all the while. “I thought the point of this holiday was that you were supposed to spend time with your family.”

Before either of them could answer, Crystal’s door banged open.

“Nicky, that better not be what I think it is!”

Nicky’s eyes went wide and she quickly doused her cigarette with her shoe. The french beauty turned on her heel, offering a wide and not at all suspicious smile to her girlfriend. “Ma préféré! I do not know what you mean.”

Crystal raised a challenging eyebrow as she made her way over to the three girls. She surveyed the two on the ground, who pointedly looked away, not about to get in the middle of whatever the fuck those two were on about.

“Mhmmm.” Crystal rolled her eyes.

Jaida appeared again, with several spoons and her own tray of biscuits.

Jackie got up excitedly and rushed back into her house, claiming that she had food too.

The group set up their small feast in the middle of the numerous parked cars that lined the cul de sac. Chatting animatedly about their respective family drama.

It wasn’t long before they were joined by Widow, holding a vat of green beans that her family wouldn’t eat, even though she swore they were seasoned to perfection.

Slowly, one by one, each of the houses in the cul de sac opened and closed, girls pouring out of them, some with food, others with hopeful smiles.

Gigi had bounded over to the group, arms extended with a pot of mac ‘n cheese. She had sidled up right next to Jackie, the new couple whispering in hushed voices, blush high on their cheeks.

Brita joined them not long after, an array of silverware in her hands, and plopped down with Heidi.

Next was Dahlia, with a bottle of wine in each hand.

When Jan joined the group, she looked skeptically at the bottles, but bravely took a swig from each, wincing a bit at the taste.

At some point Rock had snuck into the circle, her occasional odd comment taking the group off guard at the suddenness of her appearance.

The comfortable conversation slowly petered out when Aiden arrived.

The black-haired girl gave a weak smile, gesturing down to the pot in her hands. “I brought stuffing,” she spoke softly.

There was silence.

The group stared at her, and Aiden stared back

The silence went on, each girl’s eyes flitting about the circle, unwilling to be the first to speak.

Until, Rock bit the bullet. “Thank god someone here knows what real Thanksgiving food is!”

There was another beat of silence.

And then conversations resumed.

Slowly at first.

The tension was still there, Aiden wasn’t forgiven, but the tense atmosphere eased a bit as the black-haired girl took up a seat on the outskirts of the group next to Rock, placing her dish in the middle of the circle.

Heidi surveyed the scene, smiling at the sight. A mixture of voices bubbled up from all sides as the girls fell into new, comfortable conversations.

She marveled at the fading color of the trees, signaling the change of season, and the coming winter. As she glanced back over to the group of girls gathered in the center of the street, head clouded, heart full, the only emotion she could pinpoint was hope.

Hope that the girls of the Blue Neighborhood had what it took to tackle the rest of their senior year.

#rpdr fanfiction #mac #blue neighborhood series #suburbia #group fic #s12 #high school au #lesbian au #fluff #angst #nicky doll #crystal methyd #rock m sakura #aiden zhane #brita filter #heidi n closet #jaida essence hall #gigi goode #jackie cox #widow von du #dahlia sin #jan sport

[conaionaru]

Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)

The Harbinger of Death

Synopsis: Vanya has nightmares because of Silas, but one of them chills her to the core. What if it isn’t a dream at all?

Warnings: Ivar, toxic family, angst, nightmare, mentions of hell, mentions of murder

Tags:

@youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @lol-haha-joke @shannygoatgruff @xbellaxcarolinax @queenbeeta @didiintheblog​ 

P.S. The next chapters are gonna be angsty and ominous, so get ready. I also want Vanya to develop into a braver person and good ruler. On a side note I am now watching Cursed on Netflix and I am loving Daniel Sharman more than before. You go my murder baby, welcome to Honor and Blood ^^

I don’t own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.

Screams were all around her, tearing at her eardrums. Their pain was so deafening, Vanya wanted to cover her ears. But she couldn't, all she could do was stand there and watch them all burn. Everything was swallowed by fire, as the smell of burning flesh filled her lungs. Tears gathered in her eyes from the lack of clear air, while she gasped for breath.

A man walked out of the flames, clad in a cloak that hid his face. The fires didn't touch him as the stranger mover towards her; she wanted to move back but couldn't. Her feet were rooted to the ground as the man advanced to her. The screams grew louder till it was all she could hear, and the smell of burned flesh was all she could smell. Tears streamed down Vanya's face as the stranger grew nearer.

"Find the Harbinger of death! Find the Harbinger of death! Find the Harbinger of death! Find the Harbinger of death!" The screams chanted till they faded into whispers that stopped when the stranger reached out to touch her. "Find me."

Vanya sat up from the bed with a gasp, a hand on her chest to ground herself. "Are you alright, Hjertet mitt (My heart)? What's wrong?" Ivar's hand stroked her head and back as Vanya caught her breath.

"A bad dream." She mumbled, looking down at her lap; she put both her hands on her stomach where her child kicked. "Just a bad dream."

Ivar drew his wife closer and kissed her forehead as he held her in his arms. Vanya stared out of the window to make sure the world wasn't on fire like in her dream. She has been having nightmares since the letter came. Sometimes, Silas arrived with a battle fleet slaughtering Kattegat; other times, Vanya miscarried before he hit the shores. And once she dreamt of a thrall slicing her throat in Silas's name while Ivar slept. But Vanya never dreamt of a dream like this.

"You look pale, sister," Hvitserk commented at the table, looking at the redhead. She was pale, with dark rings under her bloodshot eyes. Her hands trembled, and she needed help walking for fear of falling.

"Another bad dream, that's all. I will try to catch some sleep later. I promised to visit the farmers again; they wish to thank me for giving them a few thralls to help with the harvest. It would be impolite to refuse." Vanya explained, washing down a piece of bread down with water. She had trouble keeping anything down these days, but the healers advised her to eat for the baby.

Ivar held her shaking hand in his looking at her in concern. He didn't look any better than she did, his hair was a mess from running his hands through it all the time, his eyes bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles just like Vanya's. Every time she woke up, he woke up too and didn't fall asleep until she did.

"It would be unwise to do that. You are in no condition to go anywhere like this. You look like you are one step away from death." Sigurd spat glaring at Ivar, who didn't say anything. He tried to talk her out of it yesterday, which lead to an argument and Vanya crying herself to sleep. Yet she still wanted to visit the farmers, no matter what points he made.

"What are the dreams about, Love? Still the same?" Aslaug questioned in a soft tone, worried for her daughter in laws sanity and the life of the babe. Vanya shook her head and looked at the Queen with fearful eyes.

"This one was different. I saw Hell."

"Hel? You saw Helheim?" Ubbe asked his brows knitted together, but Vanya shook her head again.

"No... I saw Hell. Christian Hell. With the eternal fire and dying screams of sinners. I stood before the flames, and I couldn't move. The voices screamed at me to find someone. But he was right there, in a cloak, he had paint on his face like Floki. And he kept walking towards me, when he nearly touched me I woke up." The hall was silent as everyone looked at Vanya disturbed by her dreams. Usually, they comforted her, saying they were just dreams, and they wouldn't let them become real. But this had nothing to do with Silas.

Aslaug swallowed her ale and slowly set the cup on the table. She looked at Vanya's shaking frame, and Ivar trying to comfort her. Her heart ached for her son and his wife.  "What did the voices scream at you?"

"To find the Harbinger of death. Over and over." Well, that didn't sound optimistic at all. The nightmare was anything but comforting.

"I will talk to the Seer; you will rest. We will inform the farmers of your bad health and apologize in your name. The healers will give you something to sleep." Aslaug ordered walking away from the table to order the healers and talk to the Seer like she said she would. Ubbe helped Vanya walk to her and Ivar's chambers as Ivar dragged himself behind them.

The healer walked into the room with a cup that she made the princess drink. Ivar tucked the ginger in and laid down beside her, to watch over her and catch some rest himself. "I am sorry, Ivar. I am a burden to you and everyone."

"You are not a burden. You are my wife and the mother of my child. I love you, and if you are hurting, so am I. Now sleep, Hjertet mitt (My heart). I will be here when you wake." Vanya closed her eyes and let the silence and darkness swallow her tired body. Soon enough, she was asleep hoping for a dreamless sleep.

Vanya sat on a field filled with Spider Lilies; the sun was setting, casting a red glow. Vanya sat there in her white spotted nightgown, her feet care and her hair falling over her shoulders. A cold breeze swept her hair out of her face while horses could be heard nearby.

Suddenly the flowers all withered around her as the air grew cold, and the sun went down. Snow fell around her as the sea hit the shores as if to reach her and drown her. "They wish to have you." Vanya spun around to meet the cloaked stranger once again. He stood before her, looking at her with hard eyes.

"Who?"

"The sea. The ice. Death. They all pray for your end. Especially your brother." The man squatted before her as the winds made her shiver from the cold. Her eyes locked with his in a silent argument.

She exhaled and stared at him with hard eyes, all earlier fear gone. He wasn't here to hurt her, that much she knew. "Getting me would mean getting my child. I won't let them take my child."

The man smirked at her tone and stood up. He walked around her and pointed at the sea. Vanya turned towards the raging waters and waited for him to say something. "Prove it. Don't drown, Vanya. And I will find you. You must give me time, you can't drown, or my journey to you will be for nothing."

"Why do I dream of you?"

The man snorted a laugh and looked at the confused princess over his shoulder. "To tell you all this. I had to make a lot of blood sacrifices to see you. So don't waste it."

The sun rose, the flowers came to life once again, the sea stilled, and the wind became calm and warm. "Stop being afraid. Use that fear like a weapon, and no one will harm you are your child. Be a mother, Vanya, not a coward."

This time Vanya didn't wake up shaking and gasping for air. She felt calm. The princess turned her head to her left to look at Ivar's sleeping form, holding her hand in his sleep. She smiled at his peaceful expression and kissed his forehead. All her talk of drawing courage from him, it was stupid of her. She needed to find her own strength, not feed off of his hard-earned one. Vanya required to be more than an afraid princess; she needed to protect her child.

And the only way to do that was to kill Silas. If Silas wished her dead, then so will she. But Vanya will succeed. For all the scars, bruises, and shame he gave her, for every time he made her cry, scream, and fear him. For wanting to kill her child after he married her off to get rid of her. Silas will pay for it all, with blood.

Vanya stood up from their bed and walked towards the window to see the people standing around in a crowd. "They made a sacrifice to Freyja for you to get better," Aslaug said, walking into their room and towards her.

"Did you ask the Seer?" She questioned, not looking at the Queen. Vanya gazed at the folk of Kattegat with their worried faces praying for her and her child. They loved her, out of their own free will.

"He said you would know who he was and what the dream meant," Aslaug explained, observing the girl before her. Her skin regained some color, and her bloodshot eyes were better, filled with determination instead of doubt and fear.

The blue orbs that reminded her of frozen over water turned towards Aslaug. Vanya's face was hard and stoic. "It means death."

"Yours? Your babes?" The Queen pressed on her body, filled with dread. Last, she had been this afraid and angry Harbard betrayed her.

"Not if I have a say in it. I won't let anyone harm my child." Aslaug nodded at the cold tone of her daughter in law. The growth was incredible, from a fearful Christian praying to leave this place or die, to a strong Viking mother. Silas sent her to the savages to break her and get rid of her, hoping she will die. Yet all he did was make her stronger, and Aslaug was proud of that, proud of her daughter.

"So, it means Silas's death," Aslaug stated to which Vanya nodded. It was decided. But they can't let him expect Vanya's plan; he must remain obvious to everything until the time is right. And then, he will get what he deserves.

#vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar lothbrok #ivar x oc #original female character #original character

[mini-moongi]

missing you. || yoongi

Genre: Angst, unrequited love?, fluff ending

Warnings: Toxic behavior, abuse, uh oh bad relationship man. Please, if you are going through these kinds of things, seek out help, and talk to someone you trust about it!!

Summary: Your latest relationship is... well... not that great. When Yoongi tries to convince you to leave, it doesn’t end well. He’s forced onto the back burner of your life, and without him, it spirals out of control.

[requested!]

[Hi!! Can I request a yoongi x reader that starts off sort of angsty with reader in love with someone else in a not so healthy relationship - but then she gets out and realizes that yoongi has been there the whole time??? Like I wanna cry cause it’s sad then I wanna cry cause it’s happy lol]

a/n: heck yeah this was requested; thank you!!! To be honest, a good Yoongi fic from me is well overdue-- sorry yoongi! I still love you!

────── ☽. ✧₊∘ ──────

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yoongi’s voice is stern and laced with more concern than you had hoped. A simple brunch get-together, that was all you wanted. You didn’t mean for this to happen, but you’re sitting here letting Yoongi hold your arm out for everyone to see. Blues, purples, and blacks dance along your forearm; a twisted display of affection.

You try to remove yourself from his grasp, but his hold on you is firm. His soft brown eyes searches yours for answers you didn’t want to say out loud. The long sleeve sweater you were wearing rode up on your arm when you reached for his drink, and now he wouldn’t let it go. “It’s fine, Yoongi.”

You smile, but he knows you aren’t fine. Years of friendship and trust told him that much. Michael loves you, these.... these bruises? They were your fault; you were out of line. 

“Y/n,” Yoongi swallows the lump forming in his throat. You didn’t need to respond back-- he already knew the answer. God, how could anyone do this to you? “This isn’t okay. What he’s doing isn’t okay.” 

His bangs fall in front of his face as he leans his head down, lost in pensive thought. Yoongi’s large hands rub soothing circles into your skin, a rhythm you almost get lost in, but you’re careful not to give in too much; Michael wouldn’t like it if you did. 

“If it was ever really bad,” your voice wavers for a moment. “...I would tell you. I really would, Yoongi, promise.” You hope another weak smile will seal the deal, but he doesn’t drop it. Classic Yoongi, you think to yourself. 

“You’re too tough on yourself, you know that?” A dry laugh escapes him, and you wonder if this conversation will ever end. “Y/n, I’m telling you, this Michael guy is bad business. Please, you have to get out while you still can. If you can’t do it for you, do it for me.” He insists a little softer now; the melancholy tension hurts so gently.

You almost say yes, you almost make it out that day, but the man of the hour walks into the cafe. Your time’s up. Quickly you leave Yoongi’s warmth, a feeling you miss already. Even after he’s stopped holding you, his touch still lingers on your skin. Michael’s smile drops, and a glare is shot at your best friend. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” His voice is low and threatening as he nears you two.

“No! No, of course not,” you jut in,”I was just about to leave. Bye, Yoongi.” You gather your things as quickly as possible; you don’t want to keep your boyfriend waiting. Before you can leave, Yoongi gently grabs your wrist. 

It hurts a little inside when you ignore his pleading gaze, and it hurts even more when he lets go.

For a while, Michael doesn’t let you see Yoongi again. Your best friend dwindles away like all of the others in your life, something you wish would never happen. You’ve been working really hard to make Michael happy, and it finally pays off. When you finally meet up with Yoongi, he thrusts you into conversation as soon as your boyfriend was out of earshot.

“Y/n, are you okay?” Yoongi envelopes you in a comforting embrace-- one you associate with home and freshly brewed coffee. You’re stood stiff in his hold, too scared to reciprocate. “You don’t text back, you don’t call, I don’t even see you for how long? A week? A year?”

“...It’s only been a month.” You state simply. 

“Okay first of all,” Yoongi huffs,” Longest month of my fucking life.”

You snort in surprise, and laughter finds its way out of you. You nod your head in agreement, it has been too long, you realize. 

“Second, you’ve got to break up with him--” His hands rests on both of your shoulders. “--I’m sorry, I had to say it again.”

“Yoongi, we’ve been over this.” You frown, disappointed that you’ve come to this. “Michael loves me. We’re cool.”

“This,” he gestures to the sunglasses you’re wearing. Even a pair of shades and concealer couldn’t hide the black eye you’ve developed since he last saw you. “...This isn’t cool. Not even in the slightest. He’s using you, y/n, if this is his idea of love, it isn’t it. Y/n, I--”

“--I can handle myself you know,” You brush his hands away; you’d rather be left in the cold than bask in Yoongi’s touch and be reminded of what you don’t deserve. “I don’t need you to tell me this every time we see each other.”

“I’m just trying to help you--”

“I know. And it hurts, Yoongi,” you point to your chest, where your heart is already breaking into pieces. Tears threaten to fall from your eyes, but evidently they’re too dry at the moment. You’ve done enough crying at home. “Just... Just leave. I’m done trying to explain myself to you.”

The pain that courses through you is unbearable as you watch Yoongi’s own heart fall apart in front you. His grip on you loosens, and he refuses to make eye contact with you. You can’t take back what you’ve said, no matter how much you want to, and you watch him slip away from your grasp. 

He’s cold, bitter. He won’t let you know how much it physically pains him to see you like this. Yoongi loves you; it’s a well kept secret meant for late night drives and movie night. His emotions are riding so high right now that one wrong step can ruin everything you two built over the last few years. So Yoongi does the only thing he can think of in that moment. He lets detaches himself from you, he walks away.

He’ll always be there, silently hoping that you make it out. Hoping that you’ll realize that you deserve better. Yoongi wants to be the one to make it better, but for now, he’ll have to settle for loving you from a distance.

You don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve last seen Yoongi. 

That’s a lie, it’s been exactly a month and six days. His laughter and smile has become a distant memory, and you can’t seem to remember the last time you two had movie night. The faint smell of caffeine and cologne ghosts by; you instinctively breathe it in. 

Michael nudges your side. “What’s the matter with you?”

“..Nothing!” you blurt out. The last thing you need is for him to start another fire.

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re a terrible liar, y/n. I bet it’s the guy you’re cheating on me with.” He grumbles. The tv you two were watching fades to background noise. If you don’t say anything, you’ll feed the lie, but if you speak up, you’re covering the lie.

“I’m not cheating on you.”

“His name is Yoongi, right?” He completely ignores your protests and stands up off of the couch. “What does it take to get you to stop being such a whore for once?” He’s stormed off, dismissive of the way you start crying.

No, this isn’t okay. This isn’t right. “Yoongi has nothing to do with this.” you’re begging at this point, trying to reach out to Michael. “Whatever you think this is, it’s all my fault.” 

All Michael can see is red-- hot, boiling anger runs through his veins. “Of course it’s your fault, it always is.” The metal on his belt glints in the light, flashing your reflection.

That’s all it took. A split second for you to see what you really looked like; Black eyes, bruises, bumps, cuts, they were everywhere. You’re living a miserable life with Michael, you realize. Maybe at one point he loved you, but not anymore.

As your pain and ignorance raises the belt higher, you start to recall Yoongi’s comforting, tender smile, like you’re living it all over again. The vivid details of him envelop you in a blanket of peace and serenity. These could be your last moments, and Yoongi’s on the front page.

You missed him; you missed Min Yoongi.

In a blink of an eye, you make a break for it. It’s last thing Michael expects, so you’re able to get a head start. You’re dialing for the police, tears streaming down your face with Yoongi being the only thing you can think of. 

You make it out this time. Even as your lungs burn with each breath, you keep going. You run as far as your body can take you and finally, you can breathe again.

You’re a broken husk of a person sitting in the police station. They’ve given you a blanket, but it does little to help. The kind officer has called your emergency contact, your best friend. You love Min Yoongi, but at this point, he’s not your best friend anymore; he can’t be. He’s always been the shoulder you leaned on, and arms you cried in. As each minute goes by, you let yourself admit that maybe, just maybe, you liked him a little bit more.

The rain starts to pick up outside, and you peer into the night sky. The wind howls, and the soothing rain eases your suffering, if only for a little while. It’s so dark tonight, and you doubt he’ll show in this weather. Not after what you’ve said to him. Thunder cackles in the sky, and the spark of light that follows after flashes a black silhouette. 

It comes closer and closer, and before you know it, he bursts through the door. He glistens with the rain and sweat that rolls down the sides of his face. He smiles, and a breathy laugh parts from his lips. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” His shoulders relax, and Yoongi looks at you like you have the whole world in your eyes.

Tears already start welling in your eyes; they missed that smile too much, it seems. The drenched black coat is quickly shucked off, revealing a dryer, white shirt underneath. His embrace is warm, the lovely scent of coffee and cologne filling your senses. 

You hold him close. Your grip on him is tighter, more desperate. You craved his touch an embarrassing amount, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He just holds you closer, breathing in the fact that you two are together again. Peace, warmth, love; this is what it’s supposed to feel like. You might not date for a while, but you’re sure he’ll show you the ropes when you’re ready.

When he lets go, it’s cold again. But this time, you aren’t afraid. “Let’s go home.” Yoongi’s voice is choked up from the emotional rollercoaster, but he says it so effortlessly. You nod; You’re always home if it’s with Min Yoongi. 

────── ☽. ✧₊∘ ──────

A/n: wow this one just came out of me,,, I feel like I need a sugary snack to combat how sad this fic made me?? Anyhoo--- my requests are always open!! (just fyi lol) but yes, thank you so much for requesting!

#bts #bts x reader #bangtan #bangtan boys #bts fic #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #min yoongi x reader #bts min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #bts yoongi x reader #bts suga #bts suga x reader #suga x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #fluff #angst #kpop #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #kpop x reader #x reader #bts imagine #requested

[lveclouds]

little things ( wei wuxian x lan wangji)

genre: romance, fluff, just tooth-rotting fluff, basically wei wuxian being adorable, and lan wangji being smitten 

warnings: very cheesy, a bit angsty, mxm

a/n: this is my first non-bts and mxm drabble! if you don’t feel comfortable reading this, then please do not keep reading. i do not want to make others feel as if they have to read this. also i’m a huge fan of the untamed after just having finished the show last week! and i love wangxian with all my heart and they are actual soulmates ok? this drabble was based off a drawing one of my mutuals (@outroshooky​) sent me of them and i just had to write something about it. 

word count: yeah i dont know anymore 

the air was crisp and clean as wangji stood in an alcove in the forest that surrounded the cloud recesses, gently cradling a snow white bunny in his arms. bichen was carefully propped up against a tree next to him, its interior glinting softly in the warm sun. he looked down at the warm bundle in his arms, eyeing it fondly. though he never showed it, wangji was very fond of rabbits. he’d been taking care of them for a while now, even stopping to feed them occasionally when passing by. though he rarely got to do so due to the amount of chaos and turmoil happening amongst the four clans, wangji still made sure that the bunnies were safe and sound. 

months had passed since all the conflict had subsided, but wangji doubted that the peace would last long. after all, there were still a few sightings of ghost puppets in small villages. luckily, they didn’t harm anyone, but that was only because wangji had acted quickly, traveling to different villages to deal with them. and, after sixteen years, the yiling patriarch had somehow come back to life, and people were unaware that he was now among them. luckily, the only person who knew of his real identity was himself and his brother, who had vowed not to disclose the news. they both knew that if the news spread, conflict and vengeance would surely ensue. 

wangji sighed heavily, fingers idly petting the rabbit’s soft fur. ever since he had found out that wei wuxian was alive, he hadn’t been the same, or rather, he was having trouble coming to terms with it. wangji still remembered how his heart had felt as if it had been ripped out of his chest as he watched wei ying willingly let go of his hand and fall to his death. the pain that it brought him was nearly unbearable and wangji had never felt so much anger and sadness in his life. though he had never spoken it out loud, wangji knew he loved him. likewise, wei ying never confessed either, but after so many years and all the suffering and turmoil they endured together, lan zhan could now read the former like a book. he was very open with his words and actions, always letting people know what was on his mind and if they said something he disagreed with, wei ying would not hesitate to say so. and while most people found it quite disrespectful and shameless, lan zhan secretly thought it was a bit attractive, in a way. he wasn’t afraid to voice his opinions and stand up for what he believed in, even if it meant cruel punishment or harsh words being thrown his way. his uncle would be ashamed if he knew, and wangji made sure he never let his true feelings come to light. he usually kept a stoic expression on his face, almost as if he had turned off all his emotions, and that was what kept people away from him. wangji knew he came off as intimidating and perhaps a bit annoyed all the time, but maybe it was for the best that people saw him that way, for vulnerability was something that most saw as being weak. 

and because of his reputation amongst the four clans, which of course included his own, wangji had to learn how to put up a wall of sorts around him, not letting anyone in. and, of all people, the infamous yiling patriarch was the one to break through those walls that he had put up. and maybe he, lan zhan, didn’t necessarily mind it. he felt like a young teenage girl whenever he heard wei ying call out his name. “lan zhan!” he would say, that devastating smile forming on his handsome face, causing his heart to flutter. it was a bit silly, he thought, getting a bit giddy when wei ying smiled at him or even did as much as glance in his direction, but lan zhan knew that was a feeling he’d have to get used to. 

he’d been so lost in thought that he didn’t notice wei ying sneak up behind him, resting his chin on his shoulder, his soft hair tickling his neck. “lan zhan.” he said, which nearly caused wangji to drop the bunny he was holding in shock. “wei ying.” “so you are fond of rabbits.” lan zhan didn’t have to turn around to know that he was smiling. still, he said nothing, even as wei ying pulled away and moved to stand beside him, bending down to pick up a bunny, gently cradling it in his arms as if it were a newborn baby. said man looked down at the bunny and started to coo at it, occasionally scrunching his nose and petted its head, laughing when its ears practically drooped. then, he held up the bunny so it was eye level with him and smiled. “you’re so cute. i wanna bring you back with me to yunmeng, but i’m no longer welcome there and you’re happier here, right? and i’ve heard lan zhan been’s taking care of you. he’s funny, acting indifferent when really, he’s fond of you, just like i am.” wangji hid the small smile that was threatening to form as he watched the scene unfold. at first, wei wuxian had irritated him, but as time went on, those feelings of hatred and annoyance had eventually grown into ones of love and fondness. wangji was new to the feeling, for no one had loved him romantically nor had he loved anyone that way. he had never experienced such a feeling, for he was constantly studying and training and pursuing any sort of intimate relationship seemed the least of his concerns. 

but now that wei ying had stumbled his way into his life with his devastating smile and his shameless remarks and bold actions that were enough to leave him flustered, wangji now knew what love felt like. he knew that when you loved someone or something with all your heart, it was almost painful because your heart would ache and yearn for their presence. he also knew what it was like to want to give up everything for that person, even your life. there were numerous occasions where wangji felt like taking an arrow or a sword for wei ying, and everytime said man was stabbed or injured, it had felt like his heart was being broken into a million pieces. he hated seeing wei ying cry and suffer, and found himself wishing they could trade places. and seeing wei ying practically commit suicide that fateful day felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. after his death, wangji had holed himself up in the library pavilion, refusing to leave. he threw himself into composing and reading, anything to try and ease his mind. of course, nothing worked. everything he did reminded him of wei ying. 

but now wei ying was alive, smiling and laughing and making him fall in love all over again. wangji had waited sixteen years for a miracle to happen, and now, it had. wei ying gently set the bunny down on the ground before turning to face him. “lan zhan.” wangji ignored the way his heartbeat quickened and forced himself to make eye contact. wei ying’s gorgeous brown eyes met his, and that devastating smile formed on his lips once again. “i love you.” 

those three words were enough to cause a slight blush to appear on wanjgi’s face. damn wei wuxian and his bluntness, he thought, feeling his heart practically pound against his chest. finally, lan wangji allowed himself a small smile. he looked at wei ying like he was the only star in the sky, and when wangji saw those deep brown eyes glisten with happy tears and the devastating smile deepening, he knew that wei ying knew what he meant. 

others would say that their love is a strange one. but to wangji, it was unique. they weren’t overly open about it like most were, but they didn’t have to be. after all, actions in fact did speak louder than words, and wangji made sure wei ying knew that he loved him by rushing to defend him, reputation be damned. and. sometimes, a simple gaze said it all. i love you. i will cherish you for the rest of my days and i would risk everything for you. i would die for you. i would risk tarnishing my reputation if it meant i could be with you. you are my world. i would go through hell and back for and with you. 

love didn’t always have to be “loud” and “obvious”. it could be subtle and reserved. wangji showed his love for wei ying in little ways, whether it was through a loving gaze or even simply defending him, they both knew their love was like no other. after all, they were soulmates, and while wangji didn’t necessarily believe in destiny, he did believe in fate. after all, it was what brought them together again. 

a/n: this took me FOREVER to type but it was worth it!! lmk what you guys think of this!! 

dedicated to @jinies​ @yoonseok​ @outroshooky​ @starlightstae​ @glitterjoons​ 💜💜

#non bts #drabble #the untamed

[baby-blossoms]

Honey Bunny

Pairing: Connor Murphy x Reader

Warnings: Kind of angsty, mentions of death (mother), profanity, shaded mentions of self-harm

Word Count: 2,507

Request: “Could you possibly do a (sort of) continuation to your Evan Hansen x Reader - The Tree, except for Connor x Reader?”

Summary: Soulmate AU where you have a mark on your wrist that shows you what your soulmate is most passionate about, and you can feel physical pain they go through. Reader is very popular in high school, but everything starts to go downhill when her mother passes. She then unexpectedly meets her soulmate, Connor. Basically the Connor Murphy version of my Evan x Reader story, The Tree.

----

      You were living every high-schoolers cliché dream. You were head of the cheer-leading team. All eyes were on you when you walked around the halls with your friends. You had been the Homecoming Queen, the runner up being your best friend. You had perfect grades and the perfect life. Your popularity was almost unmatched. But your mother had passed recently, and everything seemed to fall to pieces the moment she took her last breath. She was a free-spirited woman with many ambitions and interests. This, she had passed down to you along with beautiful y/e/c eyes. Your father could barely maintain eye contact with you anymore. He said looking at you hurt. You looked strikingly like her, and he avoided you because of it. Every time he looked at you directly his eyes got weepy, and he had to leave the room. It chipped away at you quickly.

                You were left heartbroken and alone. It became apparent to you how shallow and two-faced your friends were. They expected you to be over her death within a week and got frustrated when you didn’t want to go shopping or partying with them. It felt as if the only thing you had left in the world was the pet rabbit your mom had surprised you with days prior to her death. You had all known she was ill, but the abruptness of her death tore you to shreds. It took everything in you not to give up after her passing. Your father was dealing with her death much worse than you. He sobbed for hours when he saw the soulmate mark on his wrist had vanished with her passing. 

          You avoided looking at your own now, scared of losing your soulmate like your father had. You felt every physical pain your soulmate endure, and the same stinging pain on your wrists made your eyes water. The pain came more and more often, and you couldn’t help but feel sick at the conclusion you had come to regarding what the pain might be stemming from. It felt like you were left with a hole where your heart should be, just empty. It was a struggle to maintain your high school life, nothing mattered as much as it used to.

            “You’re late once again, Y/N. Do you have a tardy pass?” Your teacher called out to you as you made your way to your assigned seat. With a heavy sigh, you didn’t bother to sit down.

            “Oh, sincerest apologies, my liege. Let me fetch that for you at once.”  

           You retorted sarcastically. Your ‘friends’ snickered, and you shot them all an empty smile as you made your way out of the classroom. You had the choice of going to the front office and getting reprimanded for your third tardy of the week or ditching class and getting reprimanded for skipping class later. It really wasn’t a difficult choice for you. Lunch was the next period, anyway. You spent the entirety of your class sitting just within the tree-line of the forest next to your school. The gardening class had planted a new tree sapling as if there weren’t enough trees around. When the lunch bell rang and a small group of kids seemed to be having a serious conversation next to the sapling, you decided it was time to take your leave.

                Your teacher quickly tracked you down in the cafeteria and started to escort you to the front office.

               “Y/n, I know things have been sticky for you recently, but you can’t just skip your classes when you don’t feel like attending them.”

He sighed softly, looking to you with eyes full of pity. An inferno of anger raged within you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from yelling back,

                “Sticky? My mom died! You think sticky was the word to use in that situation? You call it sticky when everyone’s mom dies in front of them, or am I just getting special treatment?”

Your teacher, Mr. Destler, looked to you with surprise. He was used to sarcasm or snotty comments from you by now, but it was rare that you ever truly lost your temper in front of anyone. Taking a step away from you, he calmly stated,

                 “I apologize for my wording. How about you just take a moment to calm down?” You huffed out a broken laugh, shaking your head.

                “How about,” you snarled, “you go fuck yourself, sir.” 

A loud laugh caught the both of you off-guard, and you turned to see a boy with long wavy brown hair staring at the two of you, a small grin settled on his face. He had pale skin and sharp features. Dark circles were settled under his bloodshot blue eyes. Mr. Destler glowered at him, then turned to you, letting out a long heavy sigh.

               “Y/n, I’m going to have to give you detention for using such foul language, and Mr. Murphy, I’m sure you already have detention. So, I’ll expect to see both of your names on the sign-in sheet.”

                 You openly rolled your eyes. He went to pat you on the shoulder, and you jerked away from him, then walking back toward the cafeteria.

                 “Hey, Y/n, what happened?” your best friend, Amelia, looked to you, her eyes yearning for some sort of juicy gossip. You shrugged, explaining in detail everything that occurred.

                  “Oh my GOD! You told him to go fuck himself? Seriously? That’s hilarious, I can’t wait to tell the girls! I can’t believe that freak was watching you guys, though.”

                    You bristled slightly at the word ‘freak’, but just shrugged again, snatching a strawberry from her lunch. She snickered at you as your bracelets slipped back onto your upper arm, revealing your soulmate mark. Hers was a seemingly normal one, a polaroid camera. Your soul mark revealed to you the thing that your soulmate was currently the most passionate about. Yours had been a skull for months. You weren’t sure what it meant, but your concern for your soulmate had been raising in the past year. All his passions were morbid or seemed to involve some sort of pain or death. You couldn’t be sure what yours appeared to be for him, but you wanted to meet him as soon as possible and make sure he was okay.

---

             Detention was completely empty aside from you and the boy who had laughed at you in the hallway. He didn’t seem particularly friendly. The silence between the two of you was practically suffocating. You had seen him around the halls a few times, always alone and looking pissed at the aspect of even attending school. It was clear that he wasn’t someone you would normally associate with.

               “What do you want?” You snapped out of a daze to find him staring at you. You had been looking at him the whole time without realizing it. His eyes narrowed. Your face flushed and you looked away.

                “Sorry,” you replied, “I zoned out, I guess.”

He scoffed at your weak response, then turned away from you. You couldn’t help but steal a few glances at him. He was cute. There was something about him that you were drawn to, you just couldn’t stop looking once you started. He adjusted slightly in his chair, and his long hair fell from behind his ear, effectively shielding his face from your curious gaze.

                “What the fuck do you want?” he repeated, his voice rising in irritation. You shook your head, looking down to your lap awkwardly. “Looking for a reason to mock me?” he continued with a cynical huff of a laugh. You felt him glaring at you as you quickly shook your head and shrugged.

                 “Sorry.” You stated dumbly.

                 “Sure.” He responded in a mocking tone. “What’s up with you screaming earlier, anyway? Aren’t you a teacher’s pet?”

You didn’t respond, continuing to stare at your lap.

                 “What, scared to talk now? Never had detention before, prom queen?” He poked at you further. Your own irritation was starting to rise.

                  “I’m sorry for staring. Just leave me alone.” You murmured, refusing to meet his increasingly intense gaze.

                  “Leave you alone? As if you and your friends would leave me alone if you to. What makes you so special?”

You went to bite back a reply when your phone rang. A small sigh of relief escaped your lips, but your stomach sank when you saw it was your father calling.

                  “Shit.” You whispered, quickly answering the call. You hadn’t told him about the detention and you were usually home from school by now, excluding the days you attended cheerleading practice.

                  “Where are you?”

Your father’s worried voice rang loudly in your ear. Pinching your eyes shut, you cringed as you told him you were in detention for the first time in your life. A long silence hung between the two of you before he replied,

                   “We’ll talk about it when you get home.”

Instinctively you nodded, before realizing he couldn’t see you.

                   “Yeah…” You replied, your voice full of guilt. “Can you feed Honey for me? She needs fresh veggies, I have some cut up and everything, just try not to spook her too badly when you go to give them to her.”

Your father grunted in response and quickly hung up. You sighed anxiously and shoved your phone into your pocket. Remembering who was in the room with you, you slowly glanced toward him. He was still staring at you. A mocking smile pulled at his lips.

                    “Not a daddy’s girl, are you?” he pried.

This struck a nerve. You shook your head and barked back,

                     “Shut up.”

The boy’s eyes sparkled. He had found something to get a genuine response out of you. It was clear he was just trying to irritate you.

                     “What?” he continued, “You’ve got daddy issues, so you started to act out for attention?”

You gave him a sarcastic laugh, quickly retorting.

                     “Not exactly.”

His eyes held curiosity as he tiled his head in question.

                     “What then? Mommy issues? Did mommy run out on you?”

Your eyes started to glaze with tears, and you felt your face get hot. At this point, you would’ve preferred his assumption. Knowing your mom was alive somewhere was much better than knowing you had no possible way of seeing her again.

                     “She died, actually.”

You said, a small pained smile tugging at your lips. The boy’s face fell, and you turned away from him. Grabbing your bag, you quickly signed your name on the detention sheet and went to make your exit. You had technically attended, even if the teacher that was supposed to be supervising you hadn’t. You heard a string of whispered profanities as you slammed the door behind you and jogged down the hallway.

                   Practically bursting through the front doors of the school, you walked a few paces. Your heart felt heavy. You crouched, covering your mouth with your hoodie sleeve, trying to silence the sobs that tumbled from your lips. You just wanted everything to go back to normal. You wanted your mom back. You wanted your happiness back. Jumping, you gasped when you looked forward to finding the boy standing in front of you. He looked guilt-ridden.

                 “Look, I’m… fuck. I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve left you alone, I didn’t realize…” He trailed off awkwardly, picking nervously at the strap of the bag he had hanging from one shoulder. You stood, wiping your tears quickly.

                “Yeah, forget it. It’s fine. I gotta get home and take care of Honey anyway.”

He glanced to his wrist, a glimmer of hope playing across his features.

                “Honey?” he questioned. You nodded,

               “My rabbit. My mom gave her to me, she’s kind of my everything right now.” You finished with a small chuckle. His eyes widened, and he roughly took your wrist in his hand, ignoring your confused protest. You went to yell at him when he yanked your bracelets away from your soul mark. It was extremely rude to force someone into showing you their soul mark.

                “Holy shit…” he whispered.

You snatched your wrist away from his hands, taking a step away from him, not sure what to say. Sure, you had gotten some interesting reactions from your soul mark before, but never had you been so offended by someone in so many ways.

                 “What the fuck is your…” you stopped, eyes widening when he showed you his own wrist. Your yellow rabbit was printed on his wrist. Even the unique white patch of fur across her left eye was present. You took a shaky breath, then finally meeting his gaze. You hadn’t noticed that one of his eyes was half brown before. They sparkled brightly at you, and your heart went into overdrive when he genuinely smiled at you for the first time.

                 “You’re my soulmate…?” You asked in an astonished murmur. It was an obvious answer, but you were dumbfounded. You had been going to the same high school as your soulmate for almost four full years without realizing it. His smile faltered.

                  “Sorry to disappoint.” He said, his voice full of pain. You realized quickly that he saw your question as one of disappointment, not joy and astonishment. You grabbed his arm when he went to walk away.

                   “No!” you said quickly, “I just didn’t expect you to be so…” you stopped, looking for the right word. His stare hardened, seemingly expecting an offensive description. “Perfect.” You finished. His eyes widened in shock, and his lips parted. He was at a loss for words. “Oh my god,” you continued, pulling him to face you, “I’ve been so worried about you.”

                  You pulled him into a hug, one that he slowly returned. Pulling away after a moment, you took his face into your hands.

                  “Are you okay?” You asked in a gentle whisper. His eyes closed tightly for a moment. When they opened once more, you could tell he was trying to hold back tears.

                 “I’m okay now that I’ve met you. I’m sorry I was such a dick to you. My name’s Connor.”

He replied shakily. You beamed at him, gently wiping away a few tears that had managed to escape despite Connor’s best efforts to keep them in.

                  “I’m Y/n.”

               You responded. He nodded, a smile slowly forming. He was beautiful when he smiled. He was beautiful when he wasn’t smiling. You understood now why you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at him. He was genuinely perfect for you. Your soulmate. You slowly slipped your hands down to his shoulders, leaning closer toward him. He didn’t hesitate to meet you halfway, kissing you softly. When you pulled away it was his turn to wipe tears from your cheek. You placed your hand over his when he gently cupped your cheek, but your wrist caught your attention. The familiar skull print was no longer there. Instead, it had been replaced with something that made you start to cry once more. Your own name was printed onto your wrist.

#dear evan hansen fic #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen fanfic #dear evan hansen fanfiction #dear evan hansen soulmate fic #soulmate fic #soulmate fanfic #soulmate fanfiction #soulmate au #connor murphy #connor murphy fic #connor murphy fanfic #connor murphy fanfiction #connor murphy soulmate fic #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #musical fic #musical fanfic #musical fanfiction #broadway #broadway fic #broadway fanfic #broadway fanfiction

[kweebtrash]

Alive (M)

Messy Chapter 5

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (Lucas, Yuta)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs/description of tripping , alcohol, sexual assault (not in explicit detail; in total about 5 sentences), toxic “relationships”, “controlling behavior” (Non consensual), physical/emotional abuse, physiological self harm/unhealthy coping mechanisms ,severe depression, anxiety, anger issues, minimal violence, 

Features: Two full sex scenes/1 mini scene, Threesomes (MFF), eating out/blowjobs, fingering, rough sex, choking, a hint of daddy kink, hair pulling, biting/scratching, unprotected sex, controlling dynamics (consensual), overstimulation, edging, a smidge of bdsm dynamics and toy use, and of course not being able to make up your damn mind about your feelings.

Word Count: around 16k

A/N: So this is the first time I’ve ever written anything as serious as this. And it’s super angsty and dark and there’s a lot going on. I hope everyone still enjoys it as much as the other chapters. I felt like it was important enough to write about this and the consequences it poses as part of character building. It also carries into how the story progresses in Chapter 6, (mentions in 7) 9, 10 (tentatively) and overall how it affects Johnny as a person within this AU. (Also obvious warning but everything that happens to johnny is fictional in this story)

Messy Masterlist   Buy me a Ko-Fi  Other Stories

Neon lights were flashing chaotically, trying to fall in line with the choppy transitions the DJ spun. If i wasn’t so anxious I would probably push him out the way and show the crowd that I could do a way better job. But the hoard of sweaty bodies plastered together paired with the lights and the vibrating bass- everything was making me want to vomit. I had no idea why I decided to come other than that I thought this rave would help me relax but it was honestly doing the opposite. I tossed back the rest of my drink and crushed the plastic cup, chucking it onto the floor of the warehouse. I wanted to go home but I was stuck trying to keep track of Taeyong and Ten like a glorified babysitter. Once my anxiety hit and they went off in their separate ways they were lost for what seemed like forever. Now I was forced to wait for us to regroup while my heart raced a mile a minute. I pressed my head to the wall and forced myself to take deep breaths.

“HEY!” I jumped suddenly at the voice beside me. I looked over and saw Taeyong. “What are you doing all the way over here?! Why don’t you dance?” He was trying to yell over the thumping music and I could barely hear him. I gave him a confused look and instead got closer for him to shout in my ear. “You look like shit! What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing! Just not really feeling this anymore! Are you guys ready to go?”

“No way! It’s only like 2am! Besides I think Ten went to have an orgy or something! I don’t know.”

I wanted to slam my head against the wall now. Just my fucking luck. “Did he leave yet?! I’m about to ditch him and drive home!”

Taeyong just gave me a confused shrug and I was sure he hadn’t heard me clearly. “I got something that will make you feel less shitty!” He held out his hand and revealed two pills.

“What the hell is it?” I was skeptical, especially since Taeyong could be really stupid at times. It wouldn’t surprise me if he took random drugs from a stranger.

“Don’t know! Just live a little! You’re being a dick today! Eri hasn’t fucked you lately?!” He laughed before popping one pill into his mouth and taking a swig of his drink. Why was everyone always up my ass about if I fucked Eri or not? I had kept it mostly to myself but I was done with her, especially after how close we had been the last few times we hooked up. It was getting to be too much and I felt my heart and stomach do weird shit whenever I was with her. I didn’t like it one bit. The last straw was at the amusement park. I couldn’t take how good she felt riding me and even worse I couldn’t take how sweet she had been to me when I hurt my hand. It was too intimate, too wrapped up in emotions. I had left her on read for so long that it wasn’t phasing me anymore, even though I would catch her looking over at me during class. Every once in awhile our eyes would meet just for a second but that’s all I let happen.

“Shut up. I’m not being a dick! I just don’t trust random shit you bought at a rave!” He dropped it into my hand anyway and handed me the rest of his drink.

“Take it! Have fun! I’ll see you later!” With that I lost Taeyong in the sea of people. I wiped my hand over my face, sighing deeply. I pressed my back against the wall again and stared at the tiny pastel pill, mulling over my possible options. I could continue being miserable and responsible and not ditch my friends since I was their ride here or I could be irresponsible, get fucked up, forget my anxiety, all the crap I had to deal with, and become numb to every feeling I’ve wanted to ignore since the party in August. Bottoms up.

I swallowed it, finishing off the rest of the drink and letting the cup join my previous one on the dirty floor. Hopefully this would kick in soon and I wouldn’t want to die as much. Being surrounded by so many people always made me feel like I was suffocating and they were closing in on me. To distract myself in the mean time I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my Instagram feed absentmindedly. I yawned as nothing really caught my eye until I came across a video from one of Eri’s accounts. Someone, I think it was Lucas, was licking and kissing her neck in the most obscene way. She captioned it as “Baby Boy is so needy today.” I wanted to crush my phone as easily as i did the plastic cup. Why the hell did she have to post such gross shit? I tried to calm myself- there was no need to get angry. She could fuck whoever she wanted and I could fuck whoever I wanted. No strings attached, no feelings, no longing for her skin against mine, her lips against mine, or her fingers running through my hair. Nope, none of that.

I set my phone in my pocket, refusing to look at it anymore.My excuse was that my battery was only at 43% and i couldn’t risk not having enough power for the ride back home. The music was slowly starting to not sound as bad and I found myself actually bobbing my head to the beat. It was weird, like I could feel it vibrating in my bones. I started drumming my fingers against my thighs as the dance floor seemed to call out to me. I was always better at choreographed dances that anything freestyle but making a fool out of myself seemed to be a great idea now. I pushed myself off the wall and made my way into the crowd. Sticky, sweaty bodies brushed against me and instead of wanting to pull away, every touch made me explode into a rush of heightened senses. Everyone felt so good. I wanted any and every touch at all. I couldn’t help but smile and suddenly i was in a laughing fit, giggling uncontrollably like an idiot.

I felt hands on me then and I didn’t think much about it until they turned me around. A girl was in front of me now, equally as happy and smiley as I was. I returned her touches and even her kisses when she suddenly connected with my lips. I had no idea who she was and at this point I didn't really care. I grabbed onto her ass and pulled her closer, grinding my hips against her roughly. She dug her nails into my shoulders, standing on her tiptoes to reach me. I was half tempted to pick her up and hold her around my waist but she broke our kiss suddenly, bringing my attention to someone beside her. It was presumably her friend by the way they exchanged coy glances. I resumed my kiss with the new girl instead but held them both close to me. Through dancing, heated grinds, and horny kisses we made our way out of the warehouse some time later.

However, the concept of time was starting to become a mystery to me in of itself. Everything that was happening was such a blur. Colors were turning into smells that were turning into tastes. I couldn't even piece together how i got into a bed. Was it my bed? Had I even drove? My head was pounding but i found myself tangled in a copious amount of limbs. My cock sunk into whatever hole I could find, subconsciously guided by moans and eager cries. Everything felt so good I never wanted it to end. For once, in these past couple of months, my mind was on anything but Eri and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

What didn’t feel good was when I woke up the next afternoon. My head was pounding and my mouth felt like a desert. It was a struggle to even move as I felt so weak and heavy. I realized i was still in bed and there were bodies on either side of me. Slowly I raised my head and blinked my eyes into focus. Who the hell were these people? I groaned and sat up and nausea washed over me instantly. I kept still for a moment, trying not to send my empty stomach into an acidic launch of bile. Apparently my minimal movement had woken up one of the girls beside me, the one with brightly colored hair, haphazardly placed tattoos, and multiple piercings. She was stick thin but rather tall and I was surprised I had even gone after someone like her. But seeing how fucked up I must have been yesterday I guess my preferences didn’t matter. She slipped out of the bed easily, as if the drugs hadn’t affected her at all. Maybe she didn’t take any though I could’ve sworn everyone at the rave did. I could see bites littering her entire body and giant bruises across her thighs and hips. What the fuck did I do?

She had gone to the bathroom, not even so much as glancing at me. In the meantime I was trying to convince myself I had enough strength to move my legs. They felt like tingly jello and I was sure if I tried to get up I would collapse. The girl came back from the bathroom and I managed to croak out a few words. “Hey, did I drive here? Do you know where my keys are?” My voice was raspy and barely audible.

She smirked and straddled my lap, ignoring my questions. It annoyed me as I needed to know my plan of action. I also had to start thinking about where the hell was T.Y. and Ten. I wondered if they had gotten home ok and if T.Y. was as fucked up as I was. “Hey cutie.” Her light and airy voice greeted me and I looked up as her as she pushed me back onto the mattress. “You were fucking amazing last night.”

“Ah, thanks but-” She grabbed a hold of my wrists and pinned them beside my head. I tried to push her off but my body still felt like dead weight. “I-I really need to go. My friends-”

She silenced me with a kiss which i didn’t reciprocate. I started to panic, knowing with how I felt I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself. All i could do was try and protest as much as possible, moving my head away from her wandering lips while I was internally screaming for her to get off me. It was no use. My body was reacting to her touches against my will and I shut down. I returned to that oh so scary and familiar void where I was numb, swallowed up by my hurt and suffering, could ignore what would haunt me forever.

--

Her name was Rixi and it turned out she went to our college which meant that after the night of the rave all she did was follow me around campus. Almost every waking moment was spent with her around me though I despised everything about her being. She clung to me like glue and I couldn’t get rid of her no matter how hard I tried. My mind wasn’t as strong as I needed it to be. Regular Johnny would tell this idiot to kick rocks, but this empty Johnny couldn’t function. It was like I was having an out of body experience watching myself go day by day pretending nothing was wrong. I had to push forward even though I wanted to stay curled up in my bed all day suffering in silence. Sleep beckoned me at every moment but I was having more night terrors. The hours i actually slept were minimal and didn’t help my zombie like state. Nonetheless, I kept pushing myself, forcing myself, to work. I had to pay rent, bills, and eat, even though I wasn’t doing much of that either. I also had to turn in projects and my higher than average GPA was on the verge of sinking. Jae had to carry most of the radio show. I just read off the notes and script uncharismatically. He seemed to notice that something was off but I just told him it was a really bad stomach flu. He left it at that for now but I could tell he wanted to pry some more.

With my academic and work life in the shit, Rixi blocked off my romantic life with anyone but her. She managed to get me into a bed a few more times which i didn't understand. I didn't want her at all, in fact having sex with her reminded me of that night after the rave, but i did it anyway. I had always used sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism for shit i didnt want to deal with- it was better to feel like i was having fun and didn't care than face my problems head on. Maybe I wanted to hurt myself, psychologically at least. It would be punishment for being so stupid at the rave and probably for that entire time I ignored Eri without even giving her so much as a proper explanation as to why. She made my body feel good and everything was natural with her. She made me feel...happy. It wasn't like i was hurting myself; it was a genuine connection which scared the hell out of me.

I found myself wanting that little sliver of happiness or at least some form of stability back in my life. I wanted to pull myself away from Rixi's toxicity but it continued to drown and swallow me whole. Some days I wanted to reach out to Eri but I was too chicken shit to do it. Instead I settled for using my imagination to replace Rixi with Eri for the sake of my sanity. Every time I fucked her, kissed her, touched any part of her, I imagined the person I longed for the most. It was giving Rixi the wrong impression and I was only digging my grave deeper. In the rare times I managed to escape her death grip I tried to get my mind off of both the women that haunted my existence. I came to realize that I was using Eri too much as a crutch and losing my humanity in the presence of Rixi. Thus, i stayed within my misery.

Eventually, as if I didn’t have enough shit going on, Rixi found it completely rational to overreact over everything I did. I couldn’t look at my instagram feeds, I couldn’t create music or art because I “wasn’t paying enough attention” to her, and if I didn’t answer her texts right away she presumed I was ignoring her. Each time I messed up she landed a smack or a punch to my body, mostly my ribcage. At first I thought nothing of it. I playfully hit my friends all the time and accidentally created some bruises that I didn’t mean to but the more it happened with Rixi the more I knew that it wasn’t playful. It was malicious and starting to become painful, especially when the same spot was hit over and over. I could normally stop her when she got too out of hand but it would bring her to whine even more and make my head want to explode. There were days where I let her carry on because it was better than hearing her mouth.

I tried hanging out with my friends to create some sort of safety net. Being around them, made me feel a little better though the exchange was awkward. We we all sitting at the student center having met up for lunch. Of course Rixi found a way to follow me there, never leaving my side. The guys wouldn’t look me in the eye but they all traded whispers and uneasy glances in my direction. The normal chatter and banter we had disappeared and I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs. I sat back in my seat, scrolling through my phone which I tried to keep hidden from her view. She kept craning her neck to see what I was doing, who I was looking at, and if there were any women involved. Heaven forbid I liked any content with them. If I came across something she didn’t like all I did was apologize and try and shrug her off but her death grip remained on my arm.

“So like,” Ten finally spoke up. “Pixel-”

“It’s Rixi.” She snapped.

“Yeah, whatever. When are you gonna leave?”

“What do you mean leave?”

“Like, leave Johnny alone. You’re being ridiculously clingy. It’s not cute.”

“I’m not being clingy and I have no reason to leave my boyfriend.”

Jae spat out his drink, spraying it across the table. It landed all over Taeyong who stood up and threw a napkin at him. Yuta’s eyes went wide and Taeil’s mouth hung open. Ten instantly went on his phone, furiously typing away. They all looked at me as if they needed confirmation. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell them that I wasn’t her boyfriend and was basically trapped and couldn’t escape her. I wanted help, someone to help me get rid of her but I couldn’t ask the guys. They wouldn’t understand. I couldn’t be vulnerable around them. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Jae the truth.

“Wait...Johnny are you seriously-like seriously, serious-?” Taeil asked.

I said nothing.

“Fuck…” Yuta whispered. “That’s uh...fuck. What about Eri?”

“Who’s Eri?” Rixi practically growled.

“I’m Eri.”

My entire body shot up, frozen in place as I saw her. She had appeared behind Yuta as if we had summoned her. In reality, Lucas was with her and they were probably passing through the center to get something to eat as well. My throat closed up as our eyes met. It was only for a second because she instantly switched her glare over to Rixi. An angry aura was emanating from her and i could see her trying to keep her cool. God, i needed to talk to her before anything spiraled out of control. If I didn’t then the student center would turn into a National Geographic battleground where two head lionesses were going to tear at each other’s throats.

“Ooohhh and the drama continues!!” Ten laughed, typing again on his phone.

I went to stand up and make my way over to her but Rixi pulled me back down, her nails digging into my skin. I shot her a glare almost unable to keep my seething anger behind my teeth. “Let me go.” I hissed. She shook her head quickly and I could practically feel the bruises start to form in the shape of her fingers. Eri spoke again, snapping my attention back to her and forgetting about the pain in my bicep. It was then I noticed that she was wearing my flannel shirt. The one she had fallen asleep in when we me back from our amusement park date- well, hang out. I had forgotten it when I ran out of her room after our last fuck. By the time I had remembered that I left it behind I was already ignoring her texts and trying to put some distance between us. I even prevented myself from caving in and texting her to ask for it back. Now she was here, perfect as ever, and I still loved the way it looked on her.

“Guess I came at the right time, what are my favorite sluts talking about me for?” she said.

“Weeeeellllllll-”

“Shut the fuck up Ten.” I almost yelled, knowing that he was purposefully going to tell her about what transpired. His gossiping was going to make everything worse before I could clear the air. Every pair of eyes traded looks between me and Eri as tensions surmounted to an unfathomable level.

“Wow, rude. I wasn’t going to say anything about your girlfriend.”

And there it was. I tried not to show my irritation but my jaw was already twitching and my fists were balled up at my side.

“Girlfr-?” Eri seemed to stop herself from finishing the word. She squared her shoulders and posed a fake smile and I knew she was locking away what she really wanted to say. “Oh, i’m happy you finally found someone to deal with your bullshit. Anyway, I was passing through and I remembered that I had to drop something off to Yuta.”

“Me?” Yuta asked, surprised.

“Yep!” She opened her backpack and dumped out a plethora of rope, ballgags, and even some toys onto his lap. Yuta’s entire face beamed red and he fumbled to try and hide the stuff quickly.

“E-Eri!!!” he whined.

She just continued to smile, completely satisfied with her antics. She grabbed Lucas’ hand and turned away from our group leaving me longing for her even more. There wasn't anyway I could go after her now. I sighed and set my hea in my hands, wishing I could take back everything.

“Yongho-hyung.” I heard Jae say sternly in Korean. My head snapped up to him and I could tell he was serious. He stood up, ripping Rixi’s arm off me, and instead pulled me away from the table. “Don't you fucking dare follow us.” He hissed at her. She luckily obeyed, though she was full of annoyance. I followed Jae until we found a corner away from the hustle and bustle of student life. “What in the actual fuck, Johnny? What is going on with you? This whole month you’ve been acting weird and now you have a girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She literally just said you were her boyfriend. If you don’t like her then you need to tell her. You can’t drag this- Is that a bruise on your arm?”

I pushed my hair back and looked away from him. What I was about to say hurt my pride and made me feel so miniscule and pathetic. But I had to reach out for someone. I just prayed that Jae didn’t judge me or think lesser of me for acting this way. “I need help, man.”

--

Eri’s Pov

“Eri! Eri! You’re crushing my hand! Slow down!” Lucas shouted.

I was furious. More than furious. I was any and every word in the dictionary to describe pissed off. He literally left me on read for weeks and didn't have the balls to even tell me he was dating someone?! What kind of shit for brains human being doesn't have to courtesy to tell someone they wanted to end their fuck buddy relationship? My whole body felt like it was trembling. I pulled off his stupid flannel about ready to throw it into the nearest garbage can. Lucas yanked my arm back hard, making me crash into him. “WHAT?!” I yelled.

“Calm the fuck down. You're literally in rage mode and knowing you you're going to lose your cool. I don’t need that to happen, ok?”

“Do NOT tell me to calm down.” I said through grit teeth.

“Too bad. I need you to. I can take you home. I don't really think you should go to class.”

The rational side of my brain knew that Lucas was right. My anger had always been a problem, something I tried my damndest to control but when it struck, I had a bad habit of creating chaos. I wouldn't be able to concentrate in class and if anything triggered me-voices, sounds, lights- havoc would ensue. The irrational part of my brain told me to kill him. It even told me to kill that stupid little twat who thought she could swoop and steal Johnny from me. I bet she couldn't fuck him like I could, couldn't make him cum like I could, and probably couldn't even get him to stay over and cater to her heart's feelings like he did with me. I was better than her and wanted to crush her into dust under my boots.

Lucas snapped his fingers in front of me. “Eri, back to me. I know you're thinking bad stuff. Stop it. Please get a hold of yourself. Do you want me to call Quinn?”

Quinn.

No matter how clueless and endlessly horny they were they meant the world to me. They were always smart enough to talk me through my episodes and get me to realize that killing people was still illegal. It always ticked me off when they were right about the shitty ways i addressed my issues but I needed that reality check. I nodded helplessly as I felt the switch of wanting to bawl my eyes out quickly wash over me. Lucas sighed and pulled me into his chest squeezing me tight.

“We need to go. I don't need that jackass to see you like this, ok? Let's get you home.”

He kept an arm around my shoulder and guided me towards the exit of the student center as he pulled out his phone. I barely heard the conversation he had with Quinn. I was focusing so hard on trying not to shed any tears as I drove home. A man was nothing to cry over and another woman was nothing to be jealous of. It went against the entirety of my ideals but i was still screaming at the hurt. The girlfriend wasn't the reason for my anger- though it played a role in it. No, the betrayal, the absence of truth, and the overwhelming cowardice was what got under my skin.

I managed to keep my composure through the short drive back to the apartment but completely lost it when i saw Quinn already sitting in my room. I slammed the door shut and ran into their arms, practically tackling them onto the bed. With my face buried in their chest I broke into ugly heart wrenching sobs with tears as big as hail. It seemed never ending and Quinn patiently petted my head not saying a single word until I was ready. Lucas remained outside in the living room and I was sure he could hear everything. I was embarrassed now and almost wished he wasn't here but i had to at least thank him for keeping a level head while mine was about to explode.

“I just wish,” i swallowed hard. “I just wish he would've told me instead of throwing it in my face. You should've seen the way she was clutching onto him, like some...clingy, stupid, little irritating slut! Who even does that? And he just let it happen. He can't even tell someone when they don't want to be fuck buddies anymore.”

“I know, Eri. But you really can’t dwell on it. I know you had feelings-”

“I did NOT have feelings for him.”

Quinn set their hand over mine and gave me a slightly condescending look, like they didn't believe me. “Regardless,” they continued. “Men ain't shit and this just proves how much of a piece of scum he was. You are everything, Eri. It sounds cheesy to say but you're so amazing and he doesn't deserve an ounce of what you gave him.” They grabbed my hands tight and squeezed them. “One day you're gonna find someone that treats you right. Someone who you're not afraid to love and you can trust with all your heart. I know you don't really believe in love but it is going to happen to you someday. Please, just please, don't waste your time over him.”

They wiped the tears from my face before handing me several tissues. I blew my nose, over and over and wiped at my puffy face until my sobs turned into small sniffles and hiccups. Eventually I calmed down even further when Quinn pulled me back into their arms and covered me in gentle kisses. I cracked the smallest of smiles when their lips pressed against my forehead and trailed down to my nose. “You're stronger than all of this, okay? You're the one that defends us all. You're mommy and daddy.” They chuckled. “But above all you’re the best and I want to do everything I can to make you feel better.”

“Can you bury the body once I kill Johnny?” I laughed.

“Well, duh. Who else is gonna help you? Lucas? He’s dumber than I am.”

“That is true. I’m embarrassed that he probably heard me cry like a big gay baby.”

“If he says anything about it, i’ll clock him in the jaw.”

I smiled at the sentiment but couldn’t help think back to the night of the beach party where Johnny decked Matt in the face for being such an asshole. At least back then he seemed like a caring human being and I could tolerate him. I actually wanted to be with him then. Well, be around him. I had to push those thoughts away and get over what was hurting me the most. Just then, there was a knock on my bedroom door. “Is it ok to come in?” Lucas asked. I nodded and Quinn beckoned him in. He smiled and came over to my bed sitting behind me and pulling me between his legs. “Are you feeling any better?”

“A little. I stopped crying and don’t feel like taking a bat to his car so...i guess i’m okay for now.”

“Ok, I was worried for a bit there.” He wrapped his arms around my ribcage and squeezed me gently to his chest.

“Yeah, me fucking too.”

Quinn came closer to us and set their head on Lucas’ shoulder. “We could still take a bat to his car. It’s a beat up piece of shit anyway.”

I gave Quinn a little kiss before setting my head back on Lucas’ chest. “Don’t give me any ideas ok?”

They gave me another kiss holding it a little longer before realizing what they were doing. “Wait, sorry. I shouldn’t. That was terrible of me. You’re feeling like shit. I’m an idiot.”

I gave them a small shrug. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind it. Actually, feeling anything but what I’m feeling now is helpful.”

“Uh...should I leave?” Lucas asked.

I turned my attention towards Lucas, wrapping my arms around him. “No. Stay here. I owe you remember.”

“Are you sure?” He asked. He looked at me then at Quinn as if to confirm everything.

“Eri’s in charge. Whatever they say goes.Though I don’t particularly think it’s a good idea to do this now, if you really think it’ll make you feel better then...”

“Please...I’d like to forget about all this shit and feel good.”

Lucas nodded and chewed at his bottom lip. I looked up at him, giving him a reassuring smile before i covered his lips in my own. Quinn took up residence behind me, tentatively holding my hips and nuzzling my shoulders. Their dainty hands slid underneath my shirt and rubbed at my stomach before cupping my breasts. I pulled away from Lucas to lift the shirt over my head and toss it nearby. He plucked away the clasps of my bra, sliding it down my arms and letting it join my shirt. Quinn tugged at my hips this time, letting me know they wanted my attention. I smiled, always enamored by their cuteness and ability to beg for me. I turned my body towards them, and pushed them lightly back onto the bed. They were only in an over sized shirt and panties and i made quick work in pulling those away. With their body free for me to command I wrapped my lips around their overly sensitive nipples, pulling them into perfect pink peaks. A few sucks at a time to each one would already draw impatient moans from them. The tease was always part of the fun and I pulled away to retreat back to their lips for another round of slow kisses.

Lucas stepped off the bed momentarily, allowing himself more space to pull off his sweatshirt and shorts from his tall frame. He cupped my chin in his hand and leaned down for a quick kiss. “Go lower.” He whispered.

I smiled dreamily as I listened, trailing kisses down Quinn’s stomach until I parted their thighs. Lucas turned Quinn’s head towards him, rubbing the head of his semi hard cock over the outline of their lips before sliding himself in. His eyes fell closed and I watched Quinn’s cheeks hollow ever so slightly with each suck luring him to a pleasure ridden state. His head dipped back and his slender fingers buried themselves within their dirty blonde hair. It was tempting to spend all night watching them flow together so effortlessly but instead I joined in on the fun and dove my head between Quinn’s legs. They still smelled of the sweet florals of their body wash which made me smile as I covered their lower lips with my tongue. A quick gasp wrapped around Lucas’ dick which made him bite his lip and pull them closer. I drifted my tongue through the budding wetness taking in the warm taste. My lips created gentle tugs on their clit, making the tender nerves swell and garner more favored reactions from my best friend.

I felt my own heat stirring and I pressed my thighs together to try and get a bit of friction but it was useless. I let out a bit of a frustrated groan as I was starting to become hungry for attention. “Take them off.” Lucas panted in between deep thrusts down Quinn’s throat. He was referring to my leggings, which in my hazy state, I had completely forgotten about. Once I was free i returned to my all fours position, spreading my knees wide and dipping my stomach towards the bed. I was going to reach back to finger myself but Lucas beat me to it, using his long limbs and our small bodies to his advantage. His middle finger worked my slit up and down, up and down, up and down, the tip of it making small stops to circle around my entrance. I pushed back towards his finger impatiently waiting to be filled. He chuckled lower and dared to tease me further with the smallest of touches to my clit. I wiggled my hips almost mewling between my staggered licks to Quinn who seemed to notice my distraction. They pulled off of Lucas and swatted at his stomach.

“Be nice, Lucas.”

He quit his teasing then and plunged his finger in though he was pouting about it. I settled into the motion, loving the way he effortlessly slid against my walls and stroked all kinds of sins into me. I was finally able to focus my attention back to Quinn-as I was at least getting a bit of release-and moved my tongue inside them. I dove as deep as I could, burying my face into their soft skin. I gripped at their thighs, preventing them from squirming around as my nose nudged against their clit and my tongue lapped quicker. Lucas added another finger, scissoring me open before plunging back in fully. He was starting to curl his knuckles and bring out the slick sounds of my cum covering his fingers. His deep moans grumbled in his throat as Quinn’s hand flexed around his length, stroking almost in time with Lucas’ thrusts inside me. I pulled away from Quinn then, not wanting Lucas to get too eager and cum early. Instead I crawled up to their face, gently turning their head away from his cock and slid my tongue into them trading their taste for Lucas’.

“Fuck you guys are so hot.” He groaned.

“Shut up Lucas.” Quinn and I said at the same time, rolling our eyes.

“Quick question though...How you you want me to cum? Like in one of you or…?”

I shrugged. “Whatever you want. Doesn't matter to me.”

He seemed to beam with excitement until I snapped my fingers and pointed at my little box of condoms on my dresser. His ego was deflated and he begrudgingly went to retrieve one while Quinn and I laid beside each other. Our hands dove between each others thighs as we kissed, our fingers circling our clits and filling each other every so often. Lucas rejoined us on the bed, looking over us like a buffet, wondering where to start. “Don’t think about it too hard.” I teased, nudging his thigh with my foot.

He bit his lip and set his hands on my hips choosing me as his first source of pleasure. He pressed kisses into my neck with Quinn joining him. I adjusted myself beneath him, widening my legs for him to settle between. Slowly, he sunk into me, filling me with his length and making me clutch onto his shoulders. My brows scrunched just for a moment as i adjusted to the familiarity inside me. Lucas' waited, occupying himself with a few bites to my neck and deep kisses to Quinn. My hand slipped down to grip his firm ass, pulling him in for a minimal thrust. He took it as an offer to proceed and pulled out slowly. I gripped Quinn's hand, bracing myself for the harsh snap of his hips Instead, I was met with a methodical and slow plunge as if he was determined to make me feel every ridge and vein throughout his shaft.

Surprisingly enough, Lucas was the best at slow fucking and pretty attentive for a semi adult with one thing on his mind. He kept a firm grip on me, guiding me to roll back against his hips and let the tip of his cock firmly press against my walls. My head dipped back into the pillow as I closed my eyes and relaxed into a space of forgetfulness -forgetting about all my troubles and coping with the fact that I had friends who would give me everything I needed. I didn't have to rely on some fuckboy with a wannabe girlfriend. Quinn was right about Johnny and I was glad they could bring me some peace of mind along with a slice of pleasure.

Their gentle fingers were caressing my clit while their lips clamped onto my nipple. With the added attention to my bundle of nerves, i was already feeling my muscles tingling with anticipation of my release. I bit down on my lip as i exhaled softly. I could hear Lucas’ rough moans above me, secretly loving how loud and husky they sounded. My thighs clenched around his waist adding to the motion of our bodies shifting into one another. Quinn kissed their way up my neck to my ear and stumbled through asking me if they could sit on my face. I tried to stifle my giggle at their embarrassment to even ask and simple nodded. They maneuvered themselves over my chest, continuously looking back to make sure they wouldn't accidentally kick me. I assured them that it was alright and let them scoot back over my lips. I wrapped my arms around their thighs, securing them against me, before working my tongue through their folds once more. I heard them sigh softly, fading into a moan.

Lucas was mumbling under his breath, most likely nonsensical compliments about how hot we are and how he got off on girl on girl action. Quinn and I normally ignored what he said and focused on how gorgeous his body was and how quickly he could make us cum. Once he saw Quinn over me however, he picked up the pace of his slow thrusts, preferring his usual hard quick snaps instead. My toes curled against his lower spine and I felt like i was crushing his waist between my thighs. He pulled them away from him and instead pushed my legs up towards Quinn, making them hold my knees in place. I practically felt him in my stomach then, plowing away at every inch within me and making my body surge with a tingling sensation.

I squeezed my eyes tighter and tried to keep up the eager thrusts of my tongue into Quinn but it was becoming more and more difficult with the way my body bounced. Suddenly they lifted their hips up allowing me just a small space to see them pushing Lucas back to make room for their head to wedge between my spread thighs. As Lucas thrusted, Quinn licked at my clit all while nudging their ass back against me. My muscles were already clenching and building up tension until i couldn't hold back any longer. I pressed a moan into Quinn's wetness as my lower half wavered with the taxation of my orgasm.

Lucas’ pulled out slowly, a small rush of my cum following him. Quin carefully moved off of me and kissed me, smearing our tastes together momentarily before joining Lucas. I curled up in my little area, regaining my breath while the pair switched up their positions. Quinn was pushed onto their hands and knees, their ass poised perfectly high in the air to give him easy access to plunge into them. I watched with half lidded eyes as I regained my breath. It was nice to lay in the after bliss of it all even when Quinn’s loud moans and the sound of skin on skin disturbed my peace.

Eventually I felt myself getting roped into the mix again with barely any time to truly catch my breath. “You know I’m not done with you yet.” Lucas smirked.

“I was just letting you play with Quinn for a bit. Just to make my baby boy happy.” I pushed back his hair that was getting more sweat drenched by the second. “Don’t you like a thorough workout?”

“I do. So bend over.” He pushed me back down onto the bed making follow the same position as Quinn. He separated from them and slammed into me keeping firm pressure on my lower back. I bit into my pillow, burying my moans into it. Every so often i would feel him leave and switch over to Quinn who gripped my hand with such intensity I was afraid they would break it. I could tell they were close to losing it and for the sake of it all I was selfishly awaiting a second orgasm. Lucas kept the pace with Quinn for a little bit longer before alternating again. It was a tense and teasing feeling, having that desire build up in the deepest part of me then have it ripped away. Teetering right on the edge was enough to make me a begging mess and also extremely bratty. I whined into the pillow, working myself back roughly onto him, as his hand gripped the back of my neck while he plowed into me.

I was panting and drawing nearer to my orgasm, loving the switch into a deep hard fucking but he tore away from me again, making me groan. “Lucas!”

He chuckled and gave my ass a slap. “Relax, there's enough of me to go around.” He plunged into Quinn and brought them to their completion before me just out of spite. Quinn rushed out a scream as their little body shook before collapsing onto my bed. Their hair stuck to their forehead and i pushed it away gently. I was happy that they came but pissed off at Lucas for making me wait. He was being such a snarky little shit about it too. He laid down finally, his head in the direction of the foot of the bed, and patted his thighs, beckoning me to him.

“Ride me, babes. I’m ready.”

I whacked his toned stomach but nonetheless made my over to straddle his hips. I guided him back inside, inhaling deeply as he felt even heavier and thicker now. Slowly, i bounced, setting my hands on his chest to keep my balance. My head dipped low and I bit into my bottom lip trying not to get too loud. He gripped my hips with one hand while the other dipped into his mouth, drawing his tongue over the length of his middle finger. In a few seconds, I felt that wetness between my cheeks, dancing across my rim.

“Relax, Eri. Fuck baby, relax for me. It’s gonna feel so good.”

“Just do it and shut up.” I grabbed his face and crushed his lips to mine as he pressed his finger into me, going slowly at first. His thick tongue slipped into my mouth, practically silencing my ability to convey my pleasure. He was able to eventually work his knuckle into me, making me wince as he coupled it with a faster grind of his hips. I accepted him anyway rocking back on the feeling of each one of my holes being occupied by him. His tongue, his finger, his cock, and my overstimulation was a match made in heaven. His dug his fingertips into my ass forcing our bodies as close as they could go. He was losing control and finding any which way to stay stable but continued to falter. He tossed his head back, finally releasing my lips from his grasp, and filling the condom within me. I ground through his orgasm, chasing my own so I wouldn’t be left unfulfilled after his little edging spell. He was starting to squirm a bit, wanting to slip away from the slight overstimulation. It didn’t stop me though. The feeling of getting my payback sparked my nerves, making me cum hard. I collapsed to the right of him as my legs gave way and I couldn’t hold myself up any longer. Quinn crawled over to Lucas’ left side and laid their head on his chest.

“You guys left me to just jack off on my own!”

“I thought you liked watching us fuck.” Lucas laughed.

“Yeah but you could've at least ate me out!”

I sighed and left them to bicker or even get into it again, wanting to get my peace of mind back. Besides my phone buzzed and I was curious as to who was messaging me now. It was Yuta. I sighed and opened the message quickly just to see what he wanted.

Kisskissfallinlove: NOT COOL

Kisskissfallinlove: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Of course he was referring to me making an example out of him just a couple hours ago.

I didn’t need your toys here. They were gonna get mixed in with my stuff

Kisskissfallinlove: I’M THE ONLY ONE WITH BRIGHT PINK SHIT BECAUSE ITS UR FAVE COLOR

Kisskissfallinlove: HOW COULD IT GET MIXED UP

Stop yelling at me.

Also i’m kinda busy rn

I’ll message you later

Kisskissfallinlove: i’m gonna get you, dont you worry.

I’m not worried sir. I was simply returning your stuff. Don’t forget your shit next time and it wont happen again.

Kisskissfallinlove: thursday. My room

Kisskissfallinlove: i mean it eri.

We’ll see

I tossed my phone back down contemplating ignoring his request or falling into his bed again. Why not? What was the worst that could happen? I needed everything to help me get over the fact that Johnny was over me.

--

Yuta had his legs crossed over mine, pinning my ankles to the bed with his feet. My arms were bound behind my back with the same pink rope I had dumped into his lap just days before. An intricate and tight pattern that accentuated my chest kept me from squirming too much. I couldn’t talk, barely could even moan with the ball gag he stuffed in my mouth. All the while he sat behind me letting a relentless stream of vibrations from his favorite hitachi wand wash over my clit. My toes curled and my fingers flexed against his stomach as he forced me to stop right before I could have my satisfaction. The vibrations were so strong I could feel them even when he pulled the toy away. My panties were becoming a soaked mess as he insisted I keep them on. He loved the way my cum spread across the center leaving the wet spot behind. “Do you wanna cum?” He asked. His other hand was busy scrolling through his phone as if nothing was phasing him at all.

I growled at his stupid question. If I wasn’t irritated enough at his punishment, the fact that he wasn’t even paying attention to me was worse. He set his head on my shoulder. I could see texts popping up on his phone but I had no idea what they said. While Korean men was my forte, the language sure as hell wasn’t. I squirmed a bit more vieing for more pleasure and get this over with. Edging always made me want to kick and scream, especially when Yuta was behind it.

“Oh, did you get the text about Taeyong and Taeil’s Halloween party?”

I glared over at him. How the hell was I supposed to answer with this stupid gag in my mouth? He popped it out and I worked to suck back the spit that it had accumulated before I drooled all over myself unintentionally. “N-no. Let me cum already!”

“It’s this weekend,” He continued. “I’m kind surprised they didn’t tell you. Everyone’s going over there to chill and shit. Do you think you’ll go?”

I bit into my bottom lip as my calves strained and my toes flexed as I tried to focus the pain somewhere else. “I-I don’t th-thi-think I should show up somewhere-AHHH! Uninvited!!!”

He turned the speed up higher. “Yeah I guess it is kind rude but who cares. They know you. It’s not like you're some stranger. You can just be my date.” He kissed me on the cheek and flashed that gorgeous sunshine-y smile at me. I was half tempted to headbutt him.

“Oh a date? Well don’t I just feel so fuckin’ special.”

He tsked at me. “Now, now, Eri. Watch your language. Besides, you’re gonna ditch me as soon as you see Johnny.

The name made me stop wriggling for a moment. “I am not going to ditch you for that asshole.” I said through grit teeth. He turned off the wand then, giving me relief but also stress from the incomplete build up. “I have no reason to go after him now that he has a girlfriend. I may sleep around but I’m not a homewrecker.”

“It’s kinda weird. He keeps saying that she isn’t his girlfriend but she’s like everywhere. And i mean EVERYWERE. She kinda creeps all of us out. He hasn’t seemed like himself either.”

I panted as he pulled the wand away from my panties and replaced it with his fingers. He was sliding through the oversaturation, every graze over my overly sensitive clit making me want to scream. If I didn’t keep up the conversation though I had a feeling he would go back to torturing me. “What exactly do you mean?”

Yuta shrugged and stilled his movements. “Like he’s quiet and he hasn’t really responded to our texts. He kinda looks a mess too.”

My stomach fell with a sudden heaviness. Was something going on with him and that stupid slut? Why was he with her anyway? The whole situation still irritated me but i had to remember that I was over him. I had to move on so whatever was happening with him was none of my business. I shrugged. “Well that sucks for him. I don’t know what you want me to do about it. Maybe I shouldn’t even go. I don’t need to be around him.”

“Damn Eri, that’s harsh…”

“No. You know what’s harsh, not having the balls to even tell me that he didn’t want to be fuck buddies anymore. I don’t care if he got a girlfriend but you don’t just drop someone like that.” I swallowed hard before my voice cracked. “Anyway, i’m over that.”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Sounds like it.” He said sarcastically. I slammed my shoulder back into his chest.

“Remind me why I hang out with you again. You’re frustrating.”

“Because i’m your prince, duh.” His fingers started up again and I could hear the loud squelching as he dove into me. “You should still come with me. I don’t want it to be a giant sausage fest. If anything goes down, we can leave and go get pancakes or something. My treat.”

“Ok, ok.” I agreed against my better judgement. “I’ll go but only because I still expect pancakes no matter what.”

“Unless you leave me for Johnny.”

“Yuta, for the last time I’m not gonna leave you at the party for Johnny. Now can you PLEASE let me cum?!”

--

Johnny’s POV

I didn’t really want to be here but free booze was basically my middle name. Drinking was starting to become my new best friend and I already felt a buzz going. Rixi was still by my side, having flipped out when she somehow found out I was going to this party. It was leading me to drink more and more just to try and forget she was here. There was only so much that Jae could help me with. After I told him a condensed version of what happened after the rave he got defensive and would step in whenever she got to be too much to handle. I was happy that he didn’t act the way I predicted and instead told me that he would always be there for me. We were each other’s family while we were far away from home. It felt good to have someone believe me and not judge me even though I was constantly wondering why I couldn’t defend myself against her. He had hugged me for a long while after our talk and I was grateful but still felt a bit of guilt. He still had to live his own life too and shouldn’t spend it babysitting me and this monstrosity. When we got to the party I told him to go with Quinn and have a good time. He was hesitant at first, giving Rixi a dirty glare, until I insisted that he’d leave. That was when I starting people watching, focusing on the rotation of people coming in and out of the apartment.

When I saw Yuta enter, a harsh nauseating feeling hit my stomach. I set my cup down, knowing that I would need to steady myself to deal with who he had in tow. I should’ve known she would be here. There was no way to escape her no matter how much my mind flipped flopped through wanting to see her and wanting to run away. She looked good. I had no idea what her costume was but there was a lot of vinyl, straps, and a pair of knee high boots. Everything clung to her like a dream and I could see her body line perfectly. My heart skipped a beat or two when my eyes trailed up to see her gorgeous curls on full display and her lips pouted in a deep burgundy. I sighed, knowing that she was going to be the death of me tonight and get me into so much trouble. I needed her out before shit hit the fan.

Our eyes met for a moment but she turned away quickly, tossing her hair over her shoulder and practically throwing herself on Yuta. I moved away from the wall then, heading out towards the balcony to have a smoke and try and calm my nerves. It was freezing tonight but the chill helped cool the heat on my skin that was already making me sweat from my panic. I lit the cigarette and took a slow drag before setting my arms on the railing. What the hell was I going to do? My terrorizer and savior were both in the same room and i was destined to go mad at the thought of them colliding again. Worst of all, because Eri had come with Yuta  it meant that she was on the up and up with him. I didn’t want to see her tongue down his throat or the way he treated her like some hentai porn doll. If only she knew about all the pictures and videos he took of her and shared with us, then she wouldn’t be so quick to have his dick inside her.

My jaw tensed and I took another drag. I set my head in my hands in disbelief at my own jealous thoughts. I couldn’t be jealous. There was no reason to be. Yet here I was wishing that every time she touched him, that it were me instead. I heard the sliding doors glide back and that annoying voice popped up beside me. “Johnnyyyy~” Rixi whined. “Why aren’t you here without me?”

“Because I needed a damn smoke. Taeyong isn’t going to let me do it inside his apartment. Can I be out here by myself for one minute?”

“Silly,” She grabbed onto my arm and set her head on my shoulder. “How else am I gonna keep an eye on you? Especially with that bitch walking around here.”

“Excuse me?” I snapped at her.

“The one you always look at on Instagram and Snapchat. The one that was a show off that day at the student center. I don’t like her.”

“Well I do.” I said, straightening up. “Don’t call her a bitch. I mean it.”

“What do you mean you like her? You can’t. You’re my boyfriend.” Her brows furrowed in anger and she was quick to tighten her grip on my arm as usual. I yanked it back roughly.

“I meant what I said. And I’m not your boyfriend.”

“Why do you keep saying that?!”

“Because you forced me into doing something I didn’t want to and i’m tired of it.”

She pressed me into the wall, digging her nails into my chest. “I didn’t force you to do anything. You’re the one who wanted it at the rave and all the other times after that. So don’t say that you never wanted me because that’s a bold face lie.”

“I was high at the rave. I couldn’t even think straight. You took advantage of that- of me.”

Rixi shoved my face back, making my head hit the wall. I winced instantly, already feeling the ringing in my ear. I grit my teeth and didn’t look at her. My body was freezing again; my brain failing to process any fight or flight response. She chuckled then, a sadistic laugh that mocked me with the fact that she had this power. She finally backed away giving me some space to breathe and nurse the bump that seemed to be already forming on my skull. I tossed the barely finished cigarette over the railing and made my way back inside deciding to walk away from her entirely. Jae wasn’t anywhere to be found but i needed some sort of safe haven now that the balcony was off limits. Rixi was still following close behind me but just ahead i saw Eri dip into the bathroom.

I turned around quickly making Rixi slam into me. “Can i piss without you going in there with me?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But make it quick.”

I almost ran to the bathroom door, collecting my thoughts before I took a deep breath and dove back into the world of the person who made me feel alive.                                                                                                                        

 --

Eri’s POV

I heard a knock on the door just as I was touching up my lipstick, making sure it didn’t smear. I licked my teeth and sighed. “Someone’s in here.” I called out, annoyed that people at this party were impatient as ever.

“Open up.”

“What part of ‘someone’s in here’ don’t you understand?!” I kicked at the door, trying to shoo the creep away.

“It’s Johnny.” What the fuck did he want? I rolled my eyes and let out an audible groan loud enough for him to hear.

“Ok, and?”

“Let me in.”

“For what? I’m busy in here.”

“”Let. Me. In.”

“If you don’t get away from this door I will hurt you. Bet on that.”

“You’d have to open the door first.” He said. I groaned again, even louder than last time knowing he was right. I pulled the door open just a crack. “What do you-” I was cut off by him barging in, pushing me back into the tiny room as he did so. He kicked the door shut behind him and shoved me against it not giving me a chance to even breathe. He slammed his hand above my head as he blocked me from escaping. I glared up at him. “What the hell is your problem?!”

“You’re my problem Eri. What are you doing here?” He growled.

“Excuse you, Yuta invited me to be his date. What do you think you’re doing trying to command shit?”

“I’m not trying to command anything. I’m just irritated that you’re everywhere I turn and I can’t escape you.”

“Well gee, that may be because we’re in the same social circle and I fuck almost every single one of your friends.” I said, spitefully. “Besides, does it even matter now that you’re with your precious girlfriend? Shouldn’t you be occupied with her?” I still wasn’t over that fact and but I had come to terms with it. I was still a clusterfuck of emotions- a little jealousy, anger and spitefulness, and a lot of hurt at the betrayal and lack of communication. All that mixed with the fact that my body was reacting to him already in ways that i utterly despised just pissed me off even more. My hair was on end and his heavy breaths made his chest press against mine. He was a mere two inches away from my face and the look in his eyes made me want to make him regret ever ghosting me. I forced my eyes away from his hostile look but instead I focused on those dangerous lips. No. I had to remember that I wouldn’t change for no dick and he couldn’t have this hold on me any longer. He could fuck right off.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He growled.

“Oh really? Does she know that? Hard to tell with all those ‘hashtag boyfriend’ posts.”

“Now you’re stalking her instagram?”

“You’re stalking mine. I see your likes every day. What do you think i’m gonna do? Fall for you because you liked my dumb videos?”

“Why do you have to be so endlessly irritating? I don’t want anything from you but to be free.”

“I could say the same about you. I loathe you entirely.”

“Hate me then. Hate me forever. Just get the fuck out of my head. Please get the fuck out of my head.”

What? Had he still been thinking about me this whole time? As much as i had? I wondered if he was hurting like I was. Then again he was the one that caused all of this to begin with. “That sounds like a personal problem. I’ve moved on.”

“Yeah, with who? The little boy toys you got floating around?”

“Careful Johnny, your jealousy is showing.”

He grabbed my face roughly and forced me to look up at him. “It’s not my fault.” He closed the small gap, pressing his lips that i missed so much against mine. I clutched at his chest, almost giving in to his prying tongue but I managed to pull my head away before it got too far. I shoved at his chest and turned my head away from him.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare Johnny. Just don’t. You think you can come back into my life saying and doing what you want when you left me on read for weeks? You didn’t even have the balls to just fucking tell me you wanted to be with her!”

“I don’t want to be with her! That’s the fuckin’ issue! It’s more complicated than you think.”

“What’s complicated about it? You gave me up just to be with her, some low budget copycat version of me. Get over it.”

“How can I when you’re fuckin’ in my head constantly?” He tapped his finger against his temple. “All the damn time, even when I try and force you out you’re in there, haunting me. I’ve tried to get over you, Eri. I’ve tried everything in my power to do so. You wanna talk about hate? That’s hate.”

I scoffed. “In your head? You’re always wrapped up in your head! That’s your problem.” I hit my small fist against him and made him take a step back. My anger was boiling and it was getting worse with the sadness that was creeping into my words. “If you hate me so much then...just get out of my life! We fuck, that’s it. If you’re gonna play games then you’re definitely fucking with the wrong person.”

“I know that. Trust me I do. I just...I can’t think straight. All i do is go back and forth and I get pissed off or needy or sad or anxious. It’s never ending.” He balled his hands up into fists, his forearms straining his frustration. “I wish I could tell you what’s going on…”

I raised a brow at him. “What’s going on is that you’re an asshole and I want nothing to do with you.”

He pushed his hair back and ran a hand over his face. “I get that but...I need you. I fuckin’ need you so bad…”

“Need me? Where we you when I-” I stopped then. Did I really need him or did I just want him? Want him above everything else? I swallowed hard and pressed myself back against the door. Every time. Every damn time. It never failed. Why did I want to run back to him? Why did he have this hold on me? He didn’t deserve anything, especially not my forgiveness or even my body. I could already feel myself ready to cave in at the drop of a hat. I needed to leave this stupid tiny bathroom asap. If I did I could escape him and get a hold of myself. I wouldn’t throw my positive affirmations out the window and make them meaningless again. I reached for the doorknob but his hand covered mine, stopping me. I looked up at him and was suddenly struck with confusion. His eyes weren’t showing anger. Instead they were drowning in hurt. He pressed his forehead to mine and pulled my hand away from the door, placing my arms around his neck while his held my waist. I was disappointed but not surprised that I gave into him. I was kicking myself the entire way, screaming that i was a complete fucking fool and went against everything Quinn had said. But my body ached for him after not having him in my arms for so long. One thing I truly couldn’t escape was the way I felt about him, even if it gave me poor decision making skills.

“Make me feel anything.” He begged.

“What do you need?” I whispered, my voice trembling. I was completely terrified about what I was diving back into

“To feel alive.” He licked his lips and swallowed back. “I need it to hurt.”

I looked up at him as my heart stuttered. “Johnny, I-” He couldn’t mean that. We had never done anything like that before. What was going on with him that he wanted this from me.

“Please, Eri. I trust you.”

I wanted to protest, more than anything, but instead I squeezed him to me tight momentarily before bringing my lips to his. I dont know who this Johnny was but he seemed to have lost the light in his eyes and I didnt like that one bit. My mind buzzed with questions that i wanted answered but knew would be blocked off immediately. His words were making my heart ache more than anything and i felt compelled to extinguish whatever sorrow he had built up within our time apart. I wanted that goofy smile back and I definitely wanted to be the one who caused it. If he wanted this to be a rough wake up call back to reality than i would consent to it. I held his jaw in my hands and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, whispering “I got you.” He nodded, thankful for my agreement.

We shifted slowly into the change of pace, starting with kisses that built their way up from gentle to rough. Our hands explored at first then changed into digs, gropes, and pulls. His hands seemed to be enamored with the simple harness i wore for my ‘costume’ which was just a haphazard mix of whatever I deemed as “sexy enough” for a Halloween party. His fingers traced the embedded rivets in the leather strap from were it rested below my rib cage all the way up to the o-ring on the collar it connected to. He was intrigued by the ring and tugged on it during our rougher kisses, pulling me to my tiptoes though i already had stilettos on. I braced myself against his chest and forced him back against the sink counter. He pulled me along with him by the ring, keeping a solid grip on it while my lips were a flurry of harsh bites to everywhere i could reach. One by one his neck sprouted bright crimson marks, each one coupled with a groan or a hiss. I grew frustrated with the fact that his shirt covered where I wanted to get to the most. I slapped his hand away from me and clawed at the hem of fabric shoving it upwards until he pulled it off all the way.

He tossed it to the ground and my attention peaked when i saw fading green and yellow bruises on his rib cage. “Seems like she already makes it hurt for you.” I pointed out bitterly. Doubt sprouted in my mind like a budding plant and i wondered if she had gotten him used to being rough. Her of all people, when i had the most experience between him and I. My jaw settled with my selfishness, reminding me of that nagging friend, jealousy.

“Trust me, it wasn't in the way i wanted. You can make me feel good; you're a thousand times better.”

I smirked at the sudden boost to my ego. I dipped my nails into the soft skin of his stomach and pressed into him harder. “No shit. Tell me did I ever cross your mind when you were with her? When you were fucking her, touching her, when you kissed her? Did you wish it was me at all?” i teased, licking across my lips coyly.

“Every. Fucking. Time.” He growled. His intensity switched instantly and i was suddenly faced with having my skirt and panties viciously pulled down. I kicked the irritating barriers away, stumbling just a bit as they circled the edge of my boots. His large hands cupped my ass, covering them with delicious heat as he hoisted me up onto his waist. He plopped me down on the counter and yanked me to the very edge to keep me on display for him like some sort of trophy. I grabbed onto his face again drawing out more hungry kisses and struggling breaths from him. I bit down on his bottom lip, tugging harshly and painful enough to make his blunt nails drag down my thigh. I let his lip go and licked at the tender skin, placing softer kisses to soothe it. He yanked his head back, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth to nurse it on his own. “Ass.”

I smirked. “You said make it hurt.” I propped myself back on my elbows, leaning back on the counter and taking in the sight before me- my legs spread wide and a man who was desperate enough to seek out the pleasure i gave him while that she devil lingered at the party most likely wondering where he was at. The evil part of my ego was at it again suddenly growing the fantasy of me winning the battle and the war. He came back to me even after being under her thumb for this past month. That in of itself was enough to add to my building wetness. I brought two fingers to my lips, taking a few seconds to outline the fullness of them before slipping them past my teeth. Johnny’s eyes were hooked on the movements and his hands were moving on their own so as to not distract him from the show i was putting on. He fumbled with the zipper of his dark jeans until he worked them down his long legs and let them pool at his ankles. His navy briefs came next, uncovering his cock that i missed so, so much.

I let my fingers go with a delicate pop and traced them down my stomach to meet my center. I bit down on my lip as i slid them over my clit and guided them towards my entrance. Carefully, i eased one in, getting just to the knuckle before attempting the second one. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the mirror as i started to thrust and wiggle my small fingers as deep as they could go. I felt his hand drift to my lips, mimicking my previous motions, forgoing wetting his own fingers and instead shoving them in my mouth instead. It was quickly filled with three of them, almost making me gag on the rough invasion. He thrusted them faster than i could keep up but I swallowed as best as I could, my tongue giving attention to each of their lengths. While his hand kept busy with my mouth, I continued coaxing my cum from within me, knowing I would need every last bit of it for what I wanted him to do.

He was working his own bites into my skin now, digging his teeth into my inner thigh. His mouth was so close to where i desired him most that I couldn’t help but try and buck my hips towards him. He slapped my thigh then, right over the fresh wet bite, making it sting. I whimpered around his fingers just as he pulled them out. I broke the string of spit, wiping my lips as I hated the mess he made me make. “That hasn’t changed,” He swallowed back a small groan as he fisted the head of his cock within his wet fingers. “I won’t do that.”

I rolled my eyes and propped my heel onto his shoulder, getting better access to my entrance. I continued to pump my fingers, forcing my walls to stretch around them. They were nothing compared to Johnny but I could at least tease him with the little show I was putting on. With each trust I would scissor myself open, gaping my eager entrance just a bit before spreading my lips open. The sight made Johnny rut into his hand faster, filling his palm fully. “You’re still such a punk.” I dug the tip of my stiletto into his shoulder as I filled myself again with my fingers. He pushed back against the heel and grabbed at my hips roughly.

“I just like you to beg and never give you the satisfaction.”

I barely had time to pout because he slammed into me so swiftly that my body shook with the force. I wrapped my arms around him tight, a high pitched squeak was all i could manage to let out as I was too afraid that even with the music blaring outside everyone could hear me scream. I left no part of his shoulder blades unmarked by my nails, adding spite into each one. Being fucked open like this was excruciatingly intoxicating, so raw and full of hunger that I could barely process it all. My head was tossed back, my body bouncing against his. My leg remained propped on his shoulder allowing him to dig as deep as he could go.

My hands shifted to his hair, pulling with all my might and earning me the hardest slam yet. My thighs shook with the intensity and tears were edging around the corners of my eyes. He mimicked my pull, grabbing a fistfull of my curls to give him access to mar my shoulders. Unlike him, i despised getting my hair pulled and it only edged me further. I tried to break free from his iron grip but he was relentless. It was like he never wanted to let me go no matter how tight I already was against him. I distracted him with kisses, whimpering like a helpless puppy against him and begging him for more while my hand wrapped around his. I pulled him away, little by little, and transferred his grip to my neck. My scalp still throbbed and I’d much rather feel that strong grip preventing the air from escaping my lungs.

He stilled for a moment, finally easing away from me. I could see him weighing his options and if he could really go through with it. Our moans dissipated into heavy pants as I waited for him. He chewed on his bottom lip, his free palm rubbing up and down my thigh. I looked up at him, my eyes pleading and matching my coy beg. “Please daddy?” I mewled. I covered my mouth quickly, realizing that I had actually uttered that word to him. Heat rose to my cheeks as there was no way to take them back. I tried not to look at him; i couldn't bare to show him my embarrassment. Even though he said he may like it we were still testing the waters and i chose tonight of all times to say it.

My panicked thoughts were stopped when Johnny ripped me off the counter and turned me around, pulling out from me momentarily. He then shoved my ass back against his hips tearing through me again and making me grip the counter to try and steady myself. I was practically bent over, my knees hitting the cabinets below, as he pressed against my back leaving me helplessly trapped. His fingers finally clenched around my throat, suffocating me in the most sinful way. My eyes fell closed and I smirked loving every minute of him destroying me. With his lips close to my ear I heard him pant heavily. “Why do you make me go crazy, Eri?”

“Because,” I rasped, trying to speak as much as I could. “You asked for it remember? I guess we’re both fucked in the head for torturing each other like this.” I swallowed against his fingers as i pressed myself back against him following his movements. My thighs were starting to quiver and my lungs burned in need. Sweat beaded across my forehead as my body felt like it was on fire especially with Johnny crushing me. His unoccupied hand crept between my thighs and circled my clit, even kicking my legs open further to gain more access.

“That’s for damn sure.” He chuckled lowly. “Spread yourself so I can see how good I’m fucking you.”

“Don’t...be so-” I winced as It almost stung to talk. “G-gross.” I gave in and tapped on his forearm, begging him to let me go. He unfurled his fingers and forced my arms behind my back to rest on my ass. I gulped down air, finally being able to expand my chest fully. Johnny seemed determined to take my breath away anyway with another violent slam.

“Do it.” I felt his lips press several kisses down my spine as if he was trying to convince me. I practically growled, trying to snap bites at him when his kisses got close to my shoulders. He caught my lip in his teeth paying me back for how harshly I had bitten him earlier. I winced and tried pulling away only making the pain much worse. He was doing in on purpose and i knew he wouldn't let go until i complied with his order. With a blow to my pride and heaps of embarrassment i pulled apart my cheeks and let him see how deep his cock was forcing me open. He finally pulled away from my lip and i could taste the faintest hint of blood.

The sound that came from deep within his throat as he watched me made my entire body tingle. God that sound- a little primal and angry but still so hungry to cum and feel me clench around him. My body did just that, tensing my walls as I clawed at his wrist and begged him to keep filling my clit with pleasure. He landed a hard smack to my ass, most likely punishment for ruining his view with my desperation. My body jerked forward, my legs creeping onto my tiptoes and pushing me to my orgasm. I covered my mouth quickly, screaming into my skin instead of letting the whole party know how good he made me feel. I pressed my forehead to the counter trying to sap up the coolness of the fake tile.

Johnny barely let me rest through the small aftershocks and my cum spread across my thighs. He pulled me to the floor forcing me onto my knees. The angels were on his side today because I would’ve bitten his dick clean off but my subspace overrode my brattiness as soon as those chocolate eyes glared down at me I was a pathetic puddle at his mercy and he didn’t even have to ask. My lips parted for him and he pushed his way through, practically hitting the back of my throat. It was more than i could handle and I tried to get some breathing room but his hand remained on my shoulder, pressing me into place. I clawed at his hips as my tongue crawled along his shaft and whenever his tip would meet the edge of it. He was singing praises to me, as if my mouth was an entity to pray to. I could feel just the beginnings of his cum slip into my mouth as his hand switched to the back of my neck. His thighs flexed under my palms and my name came with a guttural groan. Though that was enough of a warning I still wasn’t prepared for the thick ropes that coated my throat.

I shoved his hips away and slammed my hand over my mouth, trying my damndest not to hurl his musky bitter taste back up. Reluctantly, I swallowed and shuddered hating the way it slid down my throat. Jesus, why did he cum so much?! He touch returned to a gentleness though my eyes were filled with venom.

“A little warning would have been nice!”

“Sorry! I thought it was obvious! Are you okay?”

I sighed and got up slowly, bracing myself on the counter. “Yeah, no, just peachy. Can’t walk but what else is new.” I wiped my mouth then noticed something. “Johnny?”

He was starting to pull up his underwear when he looked at me. “What?”

“Did you...did you not use a condom?”

He froze. “Oh….”

“Yeah, oh! Oh my god. That’s like my one rule!” I covered my face trying not to think about how flustered it made me.

“Well...I mean you swallowed so...nothing’s gonna happen.” He continued getting dressed before heading over to the sink to splash cold water on his face.

“Yeah, but…” I blushed harder and turned away from him. Though I was sore as hell, it did feel really good. I had never had sex with anyone like that before and now that it was with Johnny I had the irritating idea that it was somehow special. I warned myself to throw that idea out. Nothing was special. He was just a fucking forgetful idiot. I pushed my hair back before looking in the mirror to see the kind of damage my sweat had done to my makeup. I caught Johnny looking at me from his reflection. “What?”

He smiled a little and leaned in to steal a kiss from me. It caught me off guard and I pulled away just a bit only to have him chase my lips. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close making sure I couldn’t escape. I giggled and pawed at his chest trying to stop his continuous onslaught of sweet pecks. “Stop that!”

“What I can’t kiss you now? You like it.” He blew me a kiss and winked which made me roll my eyes.

“Why are you a dork? You were literally fucking me raw and shoving your dick down my throat and now you’re all soft. What gives?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just something that you bring out of me.” He shrugged and placed another kiss on my lips, this time not as playful as before. I exhaled softly and let myself get wrapped up in the romance of his kiss. I held onto him, allowing his tongue to glide against mine and make my heart flutter. We stayed in each others arms for awhile until I realized that if we kept this up we would be stuck in this bathroom for probably another hour. I pulled away reluctantly. “Hey...um, we should get back out there before anyone notices.”

“I’m sure they noticed anyway. I don’t think I was that subtle.” He laughed.

“Probably not. It’s kind of hard to be sneaky when you’re 6 feet tall and an idiot.”

“Doesn’t help that I trip on everything either.” He set a kiss on my forehead and adjusted his clothes, making sure he was ready to go back out and rejoin the party. I let him leave, still having to clean up myself and get my clothes back on. He closed the door softly and I made quick work of wiping myself down and shimmying back into my bodycon skirt. It was when I went to fix my makeup that I heard yelling outside the door. I swung it open, stumbling out a bit and saw Rixi land a hard slap to Johnny’s cheek. Fuck.

“Are you serious?!” She screamed.

Johnny ran his hand over his face and looked like he was trying with all his might to gather his patience. Christ, was I actually a homewrecker and helped with cheat? God, I didn’t even think of that in the heat of the moment. My stomach started to churn instantly as I was wracked with guilt. He had said she wasn’t his girlfriend but maybe he was lying just to hook up with me. Oh god, I wanted to throw up. I felt a grip on my arm and looked up to see Yuta beside me. “Eri, what the hell did you do?”

“I-I…” I couldn’t even think of words to explain or excuse my actions. My mouth just made motions until I snapped it shut and looked away. What would I even tell him that wasn’t the obvious with the marks along my neck? Yuta face palmed and gave me a great sigh of disappointment.

“Can’t say I’m surprised.” He mumbled making me feel worse about the whole situation. I stared at my feet helplessly wishing that Quinn would come get me and take me home.

“Cut it out!” I heard Johnny say.

“Whoa, fuck!” Yuta let me go and went over to to the commotion. I saw Rixi still putting her hands on Johnny though he was trying to deflect her attacks. Yuta was trying to separate the two but Rixi shoved him back. I could understand why she was mad of course. She had every right to be. But hitting anyone wasn’t going to solve anything. Johnny’s face was already red and shirt overstretched with all the pulling she was doing to it. It was garnering attention from the partygoers and eyes were split between me and the commotion. I felt like i had a giant scarlet letter on my back and the shady whispers weren’t helping. As i was trying to take the opportunity to escape I heard more yelling and a loud bang.

“Dude cut it out!”

Johnny was against the wall now and Yuta was trying his best to still get a handle of the situation, Taeyong had stepped in and the music cut out. Everyone was walking on eggshells, teetering around the morals of hitting a woman. Something clicked within me and I pieced together what was going on. She wasn’t just mad, she was purposefully attacking him, landing multiple hits and that was something I wouldn’t take. I stormed over, shoving Yuta out the way and grabbing Rixi by the shirt. She had a few inches on me but I was far from scared.

“Go ahead, lay a hand on him again.” I growled. She shoved me back hard, making me stumble back into Yuta. My anger boiled over and I launched myself at her just as the chants for a fight started. Taeyong caught me and held me back.

“ERI! Go the fuck home!”

I tried pushing him away but he only held onto me tighter. “Are you just gonna let this happen?!”

“You're a shit starter and i’m not gonna have a fight break out and the cops called at my fucking party. Go. Home.”

“Me a shit starter!? Don't you see what she's doing to him?!”

“You're the one who had to go and sleep with him to begin with! Now leave.” He let me go then as i almost went lifeless at his words. It hurt more than anything especially because I knew it was probably my fault. I stepped back and turned on my heels, grabbing my coat off the nearby couch, before running out the door. I pushed through the front door of the apartment complex and frantically searched in the dark for my car. I dug my hand through my coat pocket and fished them out, clicking on the key fob to see my headlights glowing. Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks.

“Wait up!” I heard from behind me. I kept walking, refusing to stop for him. Of course he followed me. He was just planning to make things worse.

“Leave me alone!” I shouted back at him. I got to my car and grabbed a hold of the handle, swinging the door open. He ran to catch up to me and held onto the door, preventing me from closing it.

“Please wait.”

“Wait for what?! I was stupid and fucked you when I knew you had a girlfriend-”

“She isn’t my girlfriend!”

“Why the fuck do you keep saying that!?”

“Because she-!” He sighed. “I have to tell you something. Something important but not here. Come to my place?”

“Why should I?”

“I think you need to know the truth about me and Rixi.”

--

Ten/Eri Chat

Ten: (Spotify Link) Break Up with your Girlfriend, Im Bored- Ariana Grande

Ten: (Spotify Link) Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

Ten: (Youtube Link) LEMONADE Full Album Beyonce

What are you doing????

Ten: (Spotify Link) Thank you, next- Ariana Grande

Tennnnnnnn. What. are. You. doing????

Ten: I’m helping you create a playlist so you can cry/get over Johnny

Ten: And hurry up and get in my bed

Ten: But I’m being a good friend first

Oh my god, i’m going to snap your little neck

Ten: Which diva phase are you in, crying like adele, hoeing like ariana, or i’m gonna kill you like beyonce?

I’m in my “im gonna block Ten” phase.

Ten: Wack, i’m perfect and you love me.

Ten: Second question though

Ten: Want to go to the club with me tonight?

What club? For what? I just worked a 6 hour

Ten: So? Get your good bra out and lets get fucked up and make out with everyone

Ten: You deserve it.

Ten: and duh, gay club downtown. Who has time for boring hetero clubs

I don’t even think i’ve been to a straight club. What are the heteros like Ten? They’re a mystery to me

Ten: Ask your boyfriend

Ask all the girls you slept with. And all those jocks you blew in high school

Ten: Hey! At least they were on the DL. it counts as gay. Anyway we can dance on the stripper poles when we’re drunk and make poor decisions and record them on snapchat

Ten: cmooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn

Fine. I guess I can go.

Btw i’m in between ariana and beyonce

--

The Boys Group Chat

Taeil: Ok ok ok ok

Taeil: We need to talk about what the fuck is going on

Taeyong: You mean Johnny and his GIRLFRIEND????

Yuta: what even in the actual fuck was that all about? I was so confused.

Taeyong: at least you didn’t get spit on by jae

Ten: Or get all your toys dumped on you lmaoooooooo😂😂😂😂

Yuta: SHUT UP

Yuta: I DIDN’T THINK SHE WAS GONNA DO THAT

Taeyong: you know she did it on purpose because she wanted to make a show out of it

Taeil: careful ty. Ur jungwoo is showing.

Taeyong: shut up it’s not even like that.

Ten: so much spite for such a small body.

Ten: but now that johnnys got a girlfriend maybe she’d want to fuck you again

Taeyong: it’s srsly not like that you shit

Yuta: wait so like...is he out the group chat though? We literally only fuck around. None of us have ever gotten girlfriends or anything

Yuta: not like since h.s anyway

Taeil: its not like were a cult or something

Taeil: we can talk about who we fuck still

Taeil: and trade pics

Jae: you guys don’t know what ur talking about

Jae: just drop it

Ten: how can we drop it?!

Ten: literally Johnny has fucked around more than all of us

Yuta: that’s a lie but ok go off

Ten: ANYWAY

Ten: he’s fucked around a lot and he’s never been tied down so what gives?

Jae: its more complicated than you think

Taeyong: how is it complicated. theyre together right?

Jae: yeah but its still not that simple

jae: just drop it

Jae: i’m trying to handle it

Taeil: handle what????

Taeil: wtf is all this cryptic ass shit???

Jae: im not in a place to tell anyone really

Ten: is he like getting abused lol

Ten: NOT LOL

Ten: but you know what i mean

Jae: i gotta go.

Jae: just don’t talk about shit that you know nothing about

Taeil: OK BUT THIS DOESN’T ANSWER ANYTHING OH MY GOD

Lucas: so like idk whats going on with johnny

Taeyong: neither do we

Lucas: but eri was pissed.

Ten: no shit

Lucas: but i managed to calm her down

Lucas: me and quinn

Lucas: together

Yuta: wait a minute you got a fuckin angry threesome out of all of this?????

Yuta: NO FAIR

Lucas: a lot happened lol

Lucas: a lot a lot

Taeil: goddammit lucas

Taeyong: what’s your score at now?

Lucas: for eri?

Taeyong: duh.

Lucas: does the bj count? Multiple orgasms in one go?

Taeil: bj's fine, no to the mult orgasms

Lucas: lets see, there was like once or twice in between some stuff so including the bj and the threesome like 4 for Eri and like 12 for quinn

Yuta: fuck i’m behind. I only have 2

Taeil: We’ve had three lessons so thats what i got👅👅👅👅

Ten: I’ve been busy with dance practice so i got 3 too. We got drunk at the club and fucked after

Taeyong: good going idiot

Lucas: ok but you’re losing at 0

Taeyong: I’M NOT PLAYING

Ten: 👀👀👀👀👀

Johnny: quit talking about her like that.

Johnny: i’m dead serious

Johnny: she’s not some piece of meat to fuck with

Ten: ooohh daddy johnny is starting to show

Ten: careful, you might be getting a new girlfriend soon

#Johnny Fanfic #JOHNNY SMUT #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fanfiction #johnny nct #messy #nct 127 smut #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny fanfiction #johnny suh fanfiction #johnny seo fanfiction

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

Whenever my sister plays BoTW, she utterly confounds me.

She never did the Memory Quest. She never got to know the Champion’s or Zelda. After she played it the first time through, she thought Zelda was still DEAD.

And I... just don’t understand that.

How can someone not want to watch the memories? Especially in BoTW where the majority of the story takes place in THE PAST.

How can someone not watch that first memory, with Zelda doing a ceremony for Link with so much annoyance in her voice? Or how the Champion’s all saw this contempt, the only one understanding it being Urbosa.

But it leaves the player with so many questions. Why does Zelda dislike Link so much? They’ve just recently been bound together in their fate. What could have happened for her to be so cold? Why does Revali feel the same way? Why does Urbosa see right through Zelda?

And the second memory, as the pair makes their way to Goron City. The distance, the pure annoyance and distain in Zelda’s speech. The two are far from friends. More like forced acquaintances. You can smell the trope at this point. But, it has yet to really get you. They have no bond yet. It isn’t deep enough.

The third, oh this one is a doozy. First, Zelda explaining something very vital to the game. Then, Link riding up which means Zelda literally escaped from the castle and fled to this shrine so far away. Why? There’s a shine right outside Hyrule Castle. One inside as well. Why would she want to be away from the castle? And away from Link’s protection? And Zelda freaks out. She establishes their relationship as everything but a relationship. They have had to form a reluctant bond with each other to fulfill this prophecy. Link is intent on keeping up his role. Zelda is refusing to cooperate with him. It builds angst. It gives Zelda some background, as we learn her contempt is not only at Link, but also at her father.

The fourth one. The one that literally changes everything. It’s one that sets up the rest of their relationship. It mirrors their fate. Zelda is being CHASED so there’s the action appeal. And then Link, the ever loyal knight, manages to step in last second and save the Princess. Cue the slow music and Zelda’s stare that shows emotions from disbelief to adoration. It’s a mix of everything but it gives them a turning point. How can someone not want to see if they use it to move forward or use it to again block their development as Princess and her knight?

The fifth bad boy. Oh man. The sudden shift is BLANTANTLY OBVIOUS. Zelda is seen actually interacting with Link, scolding him for being reckless, and assessing his wounds. She’s begun to care about Link. Not caring about how his role hinders hers in some way. No, instead caring about Link and his own safety. She shares her concerns, letting us see a little more of Zelda. She is quite aware of the threat and can sense the omens that keep popping up. She’s set herself to stopping him. And she used plural terms. She’s accepted Link. The distance between them has lessened greatly. How am I not supposed to go hungrily searching for the next location to see them interact with each other?

Boy does the sixth bring some smiles. This entire memory establishes Link and Zelda as friends. They’ve become much closer, now just hanging outside the castle in a field. Zelda should probably be training. Instead, she establishes the importance of the Silent Princess. The symbolism is huge. It also gives us an insight on how close they actually are. I don’t know about anyone else, but I would have to be pretty comfortable with someone to try and force feed them a frog. How were my shipper senses not suppose to kick in and go into hyperdrive?

The seventh one is another one of my favorites. It gives a domestic vibe as the pair are forced to delay their travel to wait the rain out. Zelda is sitting down, just watching Link and the nature around her, rambling about her thoughts. Link is training, not unaware of her stare, but comfortable enough to not be hindered by it. Zelda reveals a piece of herself by relating it to the limited knowledge she has of Link. We see some true development and get to really see Zelda as who she is. The princess with a bad temper is really just a girl forced into a destiny that she can’t seem to fulfill and this cannot he truly dedicated it as her interests lie elsewhere. Character development? Checkkkkk

This one. This eighth memory that really clues in two things for the player. Zelda and her father have a very strained relationship due to the responsibilities that weight down both their shoulders. The way the scene is set up allows the player to see that Link is the reason she gathers the courage to stand up for herself. Ultimately she concedes, taking in the failure she must be in her fathers eyes. And, Link’s presence is only explained by the simple fact that he was there for Zelda. Not as her knight, though that has become a natural state for him, but as her friend. He is there to keep her company as she researches and to listen to her thoughts. They have gone from unwilling companions to wanting to be near each other even if there is no need for it. Am I suppose to stop now?

The ninth scene. Oh this one really tugs at my heart. We see the true frustration and toll Zelda has been enduring. Though it doesn’t justify it, this scene really makes the player understand her cold attitude towards Link in the beginning. But this scene gives us so much more about them. Though subtle, Link obviously reacts to Zelda’s pleas and later her cries. He turns his head, more interested in hearing her words, than watch the Spring for any enemies. And then, he turns around as she blames herself for something being wrong with her. This just gives us a glimpse into Link’s own feelings and that he won’t stand for anyone doubting Zelda, even if it is herself. He’s no longer just her knight, but someone who cares deeply about her and can’t stand when anyone degraded her. How was I not suppose to notice that?

Tenth scene and they’re riding almost side by side. They have come so far from the distance in the second memory. This memory confirms Link can speak, but it also confirms that he’s a softie when it comes to horses. PLUS this memory gives us Zelda’s little speech about her last Hope on Mt. Lanayru. Zelda has reached her end point and tomorrow Link will be the only one truly supporting her as he makes his way with her to the Spring.

Ooohhhhh and this one. The one where the entire threat of Ganon arrives in the eleventh scene. Zelda and Link walk back, everything clear on their faces. Link, is utterly focused on Zelda. He knows her personal disappointment in herself and how she’s surely beating her self up mentally at that moment. No one else there really matters. Just Zelda. Even when Mipha is talking, giving advice, Link’s gaze never wanders from Zelda. Then, Ganon appears. Link doesn’t let Zelda even STUMBLE because his hands are already there supporting her. She is his entire focus and this memory really highlights his shift from just a knight, to someone who cares so deeply about someone who is experiencing so much pain. This memory gives us another look at the Champion’s too.

And this last one. The twelfth memory. This entire memory sealed the deal when it came down to these two. Running away together from death machines? Check. One slipping and falling and the other having to stop and go back? Check. The one having a breakdown. Check. The other comforting them. Check. Zelda breaking down, Link letting her get it all out... It truly shows the depth of their relationship. It has surpassed being mere friends at this point. Zelda is completely distraught. Link is endangering them both by sheathing his sword. But he needs to let Zelda her her feelings out. He needs to be there for her. So he fails his duty and comforts her. Even he is surprised as she embraces him, but it quickly settles into one of compassion and endearment. They’ve truly accepted the other. They are not the princess who holds the power to seal Ganon or the knight who wields the sword that seals the darkness. They are Link and Zelda. After than emotional toll? How can I NOT go get the last one.

And this one..The thirteenth memory. Boy is this one’s heart wrenching. Link is gravely injured, Zelda begging him to run. But Link doesn’t because it is his duty and he would never leave Zelda is there was danger around. Not a chance. And she unlocks her power, as she is forced to protect the one she loves, the one who understands her in a way no one else can. The boy who showed her more to life than Sheikah Tech and sealing powers. And Link, he’s completely aware that he’s going to die. He’s even giving her a “we both know that’s not true” when Zelda swears that he’ll be fine. And he isn’t. It’s heartbreaking, watching her spb over the boy who made her feel more than the princess everyone looks at her to be. A soft lullaby, casually breaking my heart in the background. Then, the moment where it all goes down. Zelda can save Link. Her fingers curl against his chest as she realizes he can still be saved. She can’t cry. She has to be determined. And she is.

How was I not supposed to fall into this story head first? Not fall in love with Link and Zelda’s relationship. The entire plot and trope it follows. It’s angsty, it’s soft, and it is HEARTBREAKING.

How wasn’t I suppose to fall into an obsession and write posts like this at 2 in the morning when I should be sleeping?

#guys im so tired #but reLly #how was i not suppose to falk for zelink #sooiler alert #i was always going to fall for rhis zelink #love the nerds #zelink #botw link #botw #botw zelda #loz botw #botw zelink #legend of zelda breath of the wild