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idy-ll-ique · 2 years

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mr grumpy man

pairing: mob boss!bucky barnes x f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings: smut, mentions of abuse and wounds, adultery

requested: nope

word count: ~4.3k

summary: bucky kidnaps y/n because her husband owes him money. what happens when he finds out her husband is abusive?

author's note: hi guys! i crossed 1450 followers today, plus my masterlist is about to reach 1000 notes, and ngl i'm kinda excited for that, so i wanted to post. i have been writing fanfiction even though i stopped posting weekly (it's a great stress reliever). so yeah... enjoy! (also lmk if you want me to write and post a part 2, since the ending to this imo feels kind of incomplete) also ik i am reusing names but go with it, it's difficult to come up with names :(

masterlist

The sound of her gasp echoed around the garage as the blindfold was lifted off her eyes. Y/N blinked in the dim light, her hand trying to reach up to soothe her aching head, but— She struggled to free her tied hands, to no avail. Finally collapsing against the chair, she looked around the room as her eyes adjusted to the lights. Or the lack thereof.

A bunch of men stood ahead of her. In the centre was a tall, brunet man, his blue eyes glistening with… mirth. He seemed happy, even though his face didn’t betray an emotion. “S-Sir… Who…” Y/N choked out, thanking the Gods that her mouth was still usable. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re awake,” the man crooned, walking up to her. She peered up at him, a little scared and a lot confused.

Bucky blinked at her. Why… Why was she looking at him like that? There wasn’t an ounce of fear he could see on her face, just— perplexion. “Mrs Silverstein,” he began. “Yeah?” He internally heaved a sigh of relief. At least he had the right person. But then why wasn’t she scared? Surely, being married to a mob boss meant she knew the danger mob bosses posed. “I’m James Barnes.” Y/N cocked her head to the side. “M-Mr Barnes, have you— kidnapped me?”

“If you know that, why aren’t you scared?!” Bucky burst out impatiently. This woman was starting to get on his nerves with her nonchalance. “...ooh, ah, save me…” Y/N mumbled a couple seconds later, pursing her lips to keep herself from smiling. She never thought she would be, but here she was now! Kidnapped! Meaning, away from her husband! Bucky growled in annoyance. “Are you fucking mocking me or something?”

She hurriedly shook her head, lowering it in shame. “Sorry.” He huffed. “Your husband—” Y/N nearly flinched at the mention. “—has stolen a huge sum of money from me. So now, my dear, you’re going to live with me until he returns the money.” Bucky wasn’t a monster. As annoyed as the woman was making him, he had no intentions of hurting her. He simply wanted to lure Edmund, her husband, to him by using Y/N as bait.

“Wait, seriously?” Y/N realised she might have come off a little excited because Bucky raised an eyebrow at her, his men exchanging glances in shock. “You’re— happy about that?” Bucky asked, bewildered. “No I’m not,” she muttered, clearly lying. Bucky shook his head, deciding to let it go. Surely she was so… scared and traumatised that she was acting bizarrely. It had to be that. “Okay… um, untie her, I’m taking her to her room.”

Two of his men stepped forward and untied her hands and legs. Bucky expected her to kick and scream upon being untied but instead, she simply stood up, dusting her clothes. “My room, sir?” Bucky stammered incoherently. “Uh, sure,” he ended up mumbling, leading her into the mansion whose garage they were in. He kept alert; maybe once away from the guards she would act up. “Intelligent,” he thought.

But even when they were away from all the guards, just the two of them, Y/N kept demurely following him, looking up at the mansion. “Wow,” she whistled, “This is your house? It’s pretty solid, dude.” Bucky stopped in his tracks, turning to face her. “Okay, what stupid fucking game are you playing with me right now?! You really think I’m that dumb, Mrs Silverstein? You think I don’t know what you’re doing?! Playing nice until you get a chance to run back to your husband?!”

This time, she did end up flinching at Edmund’s mention. Bucky noticed and paused, his brows furrowing in suspicion. “I don’t— I’m not playing any games. Look—” She rummaged through all her clothing. “I don’t have any weapons on me and plus my hands are recovering from injuries, so I’m not even strong enough to kill someone like you. Have you looked at yourself? You think I will be able to hurt you?” Bucky released a breath.

An awkward silence fell between them. “What are your hands recovering from?” he finally ended up asking as they commenced their walk. “Broke my bones in both hands, just a little accident, heh,” Y/N chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck. A few more minutes passed. He glanced at her. She was looking at the decoration around the house, lips pursed, as if she was about to burst into tears.

And without thinking, he asked the one question a kidnapper never asks their victim.

“Are you okay?”

A teardrop leaked down Y/N’s eye and she hurriedly wiped it off, clearing her throat. “Yeah.” What the fuck was her deal? They soon stopped outside a bedroom; Bucky opened the door, revealing— “This is the most beautiful room I’ve ever seen!” Y/N gasped, awed. The colour scheme was pretty, there was an attached bathroom and also a balcony! "This makes my architect heart really happy."

"You're an architect?" Bucky couldn't help but ask again. "I was, before I got married. Edmund didn't like that I worked, he then started keeping me at home," she revealed. Bucky found himself getting annoyed again but this time not by Y/N, by Edmund. "Well, uh, you've seen everything. Spare clothes are in the wardrobe, um, the shower has clean water if you want to clean up… there's facewash and body wash in the bathroom and also toothpaste and a toothbrush."

"Aren't you, like, my kidnapper? Why such nice treatment?" Y/N wondered. "I have no personal vendetta against you, I'm after your husband. And I'm using you as bait. So don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. That's how my mob functions." A smile bloomed on her face. "That's a nice way to function. Uh, I'll see you then, Mr Barnes." Bucky licked his dry lips. "Yeah, s-see you."

He left her room, closing the door behind him. But he simply stood there, his thoughts racing. The way she wasn't upset that she was kidnapped, the way she flinched earlier when he mentioned her husband, and how sad she looked when she told him her husband didn't allow her to work after they got married. All the proof was there— She disliked him. Y/N disliked Edmund. But was there more to it?

Was she only upset about her job, or maybe something more? Bucky shook his head, heading to his own room. Now that he knew, her previous behaviour didn't seem so… annoying anymore.

The next morning, Bucky woke up with Y/N on his mind. Immediately upon getting out of bed, he rushed to Y/N's room, pausing before knocking. When she didn't open the door, his nose scrunched and he pushed the door open, freezing when he saw her naked in the middle of the room, a pair of his shorts in her hands. The spare clothes he'd given her. Y/N froze as well, the water from her wet hair dripping on the floor. She had just finished taking a shower. 5 uncomfortable minutes later, both of them snapped out of it.

Bucky was staring at her body. "My men didn't raise a finger on you," he whispered as she hurriedly covered herself with her towel. "Mr Barnes—" He entered the room, slamming the door shut behind him as he closed the distance between them. "I told them not to. Then what is this?" Her body was covered in scars big and small, and also healing bruises. Some that looked an angry red, some black and blue, while the almost healed ones looked yellow-green.

Her arms, her legs, her torso… except her face. Every body part was injured. "Y-Your men didn't do it," Y/N quietly assured him, avoiding eye contact. Bucky's chest heaved with anger. "Then who?" Y/N gulped in fear. "E-Edmund did." Bucky was hoping it wouldn't be the answer. "I fucking knew it," he growled, "I suspected it last night—" He stopped when Y/N touched his arm. "L-Let me get ready?" He left the room on her insistence.

Blood boiling, he stormed into the dining room, startling the housekeeping staff as he sat on a chair, glaring at the innocent table in front of him. He didn't think Edmund would be able to anger him more than when he stole Bucky’s money but apparently knowing that he abused his wife too did the trick. Maybe it was the way Edmund’s behaviour reminded him of his own father— that was a can of worms for another day.

He turned towards the door when he heard footsteps behind him. Y/N had just walked in, wearing a grey t-shirt that was too big on her as well the pair of shorts he’d seen previously. She silently sat in front of him, her head hanging low. “The broken bones, that was him, no?” A beat passed and she nodded. Bucky was so furious now he couldn’t speak; they ended up having breakfast without speaking to one another. Afterwards, Bucky sent Y/N back to her room.

The hours began passing. When Y/N noticed that the sun was about to set, her stomach hungrily growling being the thing that snapped her out of her trance, she wondered if she would be let out of the room and given some food. Turns out she didn’t have to wait for an answer— just as the thought passed through her head, the door opened and Bucky walked in, tongue in cheek.

“I’m back home.” Y/N didn’t know he’d left. “Did you… did you have lunch? I forgot to remind the housekeeping staff to give you lunch.” She shook her head no. “I’ve been here the whole day.” His face showed… remorse? An apologetic look crossed his face. “C-Come downstairs to eat something now.” Without a complaint, she got off the bed and followed him towards the dining room. On the dining table was a big plate of cut-up fruits.

Bucky beckoned her to have the first bite. Like in the morning, they sat quiet, until Bucky spoke first. “I called… Edmund today.” Her gaze lifted from the fruits to his face. “What did he say?” she whispered, somewhat dreading the answer. “I asked for a huge ransom, basically something along the lines of what he stole from me. He said… It'll take time. He also threatened me.” This time a chuckle escaped his lips. “If you do anything to my wife, I swear,” he mimicked, causing Y/N to laugh as well.

“Bold coming from him,” she sighed, a tiny smile showing on her face. The mood dimmed again— as “fun” as the conversation was, they weren’t… friends. Y/N was still his victim, Bucky still her kidnapper. There were boundaries they knew they couldn’t cross. But still, there was something…

After finishing the fruit, Bucky took her back to her room. “I’ll see you at dinner,” he cleared his throat, poking his tongue in his cheek again. Y/N pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, clasping her hands as she swayed back and forth on her toes and heels. She was about to speak when Bucky began walking away, thinking the conversation was done.

She only stared after him.

The days began passing quicker. In what felt like a mere minute, a week passed since Y/N's kidnapping. There was still no sign of Edmund, and Bucky was getting impatient. Impatient not because of money, impatient because Y/N was growing on him. He’d started finding her and her mannerisms tolerable and dare he say it— cute. He had started finding her adorable.

Her hair, her eyes, her nose, her lips, her figure— the figure he’d seen all of before. Y/N was pretty, no doubt, but Bucky mentally hit himself with an imaginary stick every time she was around. He couldn’t possibly think his victim, another man’s wife, was beautiful. But there was no doubt about the fact. Bucky was steadily falling.

Unbeknownst to him, so was she. As little time as they spent with each other, Y/N found herself eagerly awaiting the next time she could see him. She found herself admiring his looks when he wasn’t looking. His steely blue eyes, his long brown hair, his stubble, his physique— the upper part of which she had managed to catch a glimpse of one time— him. She admired him.

Not to mention the fact he treated her way, way better than Edmund ever did. Always gave her food and water, checked on her from time to time, and gave her good living conditions. This was much less a kidnapping and much more a vacation of sorts. The only difference being? While Bucky actively hated himself for falling for her, Y/N didn’t mind in the slightest.

If anything, she had subconsciously begun to pamper herself, as well as she could, so Bucky would notice. He gave her a reason to distance her thoughts from her husband; when they got married, and when the abuse began, she used to think no one else could like her, and the fact that Edmund was still willing to keep her as his wife— she should accept that. But the previous week, she hardly ever thought of him.

She was staring out the window of her room when there was a knock on her door. Her hands flew up to flatten her hair as the door opened. Like she hoped, Bucky stood on the other side, wearing a black tank top and grey sweatpants. She blinked owlishly at him. “Come with me.” Y/N hurriedly got off the bed and waddled behind him. To her surprise, he began leading her out of the mansion.

Y/N hadn’t been out of the house since the first night. Dread filled her mind— was Edmund here to pick her up? Instinctively she stopped in her tracks, her eyes filling with tears as she grabbed Bucky’s arm, stopping him as well. He whirled around, startled to see her crying. “Wh-What happened, why are you crying?” A choked sob escaped her lips as she shook her head.

“He’s here, isn’t he? P-Please don’t hand me over to him, please,” she croaked. Before Bucky could speak she piped up again. “Just kill me— I b-beg, Mr Barnes, please!” Another sob left her lips and Bucky felt his resolve breaking. Somehow freeing his arm from her grasp, he walked towards her and hugged her tight, holding her close to his chest. “Shh,” he whispered, rubbing her back.

Y/N slowly stopped crying, her fists clutching the back of his tank top. Bucky rested his chin on her head, one arm wrapped tight around her waist as the other continued to rub her back, helping to even out her breathing. His resolve cracked fully— no, Edmund was not getting her back. “He’s not here,” he assured her quietly, “I promise.” She finally calmed down.

“Then where are you taking me?” The way her voice had become so tiny suddenly… Bucky wanted to hit himself for unnecessarily scaring her. “For a walk. I-I thought we— I mean you, should take a walk in the garden for some… fresh air. And I’ll come along… to keep an eye on you,” he stammered. A second passed and she nodded. “I’d like that.” He internally heaved a sigh of relief and they began walking to the mansion’s garden again— this time holding hands.

Y/N was so shaken up and frightened that she refused to let go of Bucky’s hand. Each time he tried pulling away, she whined and held his hand tighter. “Y/N.” Hearing his stern tone, she reluctantly let go of his hand, only to be surprised as he draped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him. They fell quiet. After spending an hour outside, Bucky noticed it was dinnertime.

They had dinner. And then it was time for Y/N to go to her room again. Try as she might to fall asleep, she couldn’t. Each time she closed her eyes, Edmund’s face appeared in front of her, scaring her awake. Quivering, Y/N stood up, walking out of the room. She wanted to see Bucky. But she didn’t know where his room was. Sighing in defeat, she slid down in front of the door, sitting with her knees pulled to her chest. The bedroom felt too unsafe.

What she didn’t know was that Bucky wasn’t in his room. He was in the living room, having a glass of whiskey. An hour would pass before he made his way upstairs; since Y/N’s room was nearer to the staircase than his own, he had to pass by in front of her room to go to his. And he was shocked to see her sitting outside, rather than inside. “Y/N?!” She looked up at him, pressing her lips shut to keep herself from crying in front of him again.

Also sighing in defeat and throwing his morals and ethics aside, he grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. A gasp left her lips as Bucky pinned her against the wall. Her hands were held over her head, Bucky holding her wrists with one hand as the other rested on the wall right next to her waist. “Fuck you for being so adorable and perfect, honestly,” he mirthlessly laughed before pressing his lips to hers in a noisy, wet kiss.

Y/N involuntarily moaned as the kiss got too overwhelming. Bucky, hearing that, grabbed her waist with his free hand and shifted closer to her, grinding his steadily hardening cock against her most sensitive area. “Mmh,” she breathed out. “Liking that, princess?” His hand let go of her wrists to take off the t-shirt she wore. When her breasts came into view, Bucky groaned.

“Ungh, M-Mr Barnes, ah,” she whimpered when he bent forward, taking a nipple between his teeth as his hand toyed with the other one. “Fuck,” he hissed when she rolled her hips against his. Not wasting more time, he knelt in front of her and yanked her shorts down, the cool night air colliding with her wet cunt making her moan. Bucky smirked as he smeared some of her juices around with his fingers.

“So fucking wet for me,” he hummed, grabbing the back of her thighs before burying his face between them, lapping greedily at the juices. His nose rubbed against her clit; Y/N’s fingers curled in his hair, gently pulling him closer. Bucky didn’t even feel like coming up for air. She had the prettiest cunt he’d ever seen, and she tasted sweet, just like her personality. “Bu-Bucky, I’m gonna cum!” When he heard that he finally stopped and looked up at her.

Her face was flushed and her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted as she rested her head against the wall, her chest heaving. That picture drilled itself into his head; he would never forget that look, how ethereal she looked as he made her fall apart on his tongue. “Cum for me, my love, you won’t be doing so for anyone else for a long, long time.” Hearing those words Y/N let go.

Bucky drank everything she offered. It was like an elixir to him. “So gorgeous, so delicious,” he whispered and stood up, holding her by the hips when her knees buckled. That orgasm had been her most powerful yet. Bucky definitely knew what he was doing. “Come.” He gently carried her in his arms bridal style, allowing her to rest as he took her to his room, kicking open the door with his foot.

Y/N passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow, but Bucky suspected she’d fallen asleep earlier than that, in his arms, rather. His cock was throbbing hard; lying down next to her, he lowered his pants and took his length in his hand, leisurely stroking it as he thought of Y/N— the look on her face. No matter if he got or didn’t get the money from Edmund, he wasn’t giving up on Y/N. She was his now, his to care for. His to fall for.

He felt his orgasm coming. With a whisper of her name he let go, spurting hot, white liquid onto his thighs and hand. Bucky then cleaned himself and pulled his sweatpants up over his limp cock, turning on his side to envelope Y/N in his arms. She, still asleep, turned into him too, burying her face in his chest, curling into him.

For the first time since forever, a genuine smile bloomed on his face.

The next morning couldn't arrive sooner. Bucky woke up before Y/N, and when the previous night's memories resurfaced, one more smile tugged on his lips as he turned to look at the woman asleep next to him. Her lips were turned upwards, and he wondered what kind of a dream she was having. "Oh, Bucky," she suddenly whispered, humming as she turned to lay on her back, facing away from him. Bucky didn't contain his chuckle; the noise woke Y/N up and she blinked her eyes open.

"What was I doing in your dream?" he asked her in a whisper as soon as she gained her senses. "We were in a park eating ice-cream together," she sleepily whispered back, accepting his invite to snuggle closer to him. "But you moaned my name," he cheekily pointed out, "So what was I doing exactly?" At that her cheeks heated up. "I— I had some ice-cream on my lips and you—" She couldn't finish her sentence out of embarrassment. Bucky laughed quietly, trying not to ruin the serenity of the morning.

He leaned in and gave her a peck on the corner of her mouth. "I did that?" Squealing a little, she hit his shoulder and buried her face in his chest, hands covering her eyes. By then Bucky was smiling so wide, he thought his mouth was going to tear open. He wrapped his arms tight around her, holding her impossibly close as they simply lay there, basking in the quietness and bliss of the early morning sun's rays coming in through the closed, white curtains of the window.

Alas the bliss didn't last long; Bucky's phone began ringing, snapping them both out of their trance. Bucky reached for the night stand and grimaced when the Caller ID came into view. "Why him?" Y/N groaned as well, wrapping her arms around herself. "Yes, Silverstein? Do you finally have my money ready?" Bucky drawled, his arm snaking around Y/N's waist. "How is my wife? Is she alright? Let me talk to her!" Bucky glanced at Y/N.

"He wants to talk to you," he whispered to her and her eyes went wide. She tried saying no but Bucky had to be convincing one way or another. So she decided to help him.

Taking the phone from his hand, Y/N held it to her ear. "Hello?" She heard Edmund's sighs of relief. Fake. "My love, are you okay? He hasn't hurt you, has he?" If by hurt you mean making me pass out by giving me a strong orgasm then yes, yes he hurt me. Badly. "No he hasn't." Edmund mumbled something on the other end. "Listen, I have the money ready, okay? I'm getting you back, I promise! You're mine, my wife, and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

"Then why are you the one hurting her, asshole?" Bucky muttered to himself, rolling his eyes. Y/N cracked a half-smile at his tone before clearing her throat. "Y-Yeah. So when are you… coming to pick me up?" Bucky snatched the phone from her hand. "I'll be there this evening, my love. I'll assure him that I've come alone, but I will bring some of my men— once I have you back, I'll have them attack him and we'll walk away with the money. You have to play along, hm?"

Bucky smirked. He held the phone away and covered the speakers, turning to Y/N. "Say okay, I'll see you in the evening." She nodded and Bucky gave her the phone. "I'll see you in the evening, okay," she told Edmund, who ended the call. Y/N kept the phone down on her bed, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms. "What did he say? He's coming in the evening?" Bucky laughed loudly, startling her.

"That's the thing! He thought he was still talking to you, so he told you this really elaborate plan that I wasn't supposed to hear. And now I'm one step ahead of him." Y/N laughed at his words too. "Really?! That's so awesome! Now you can plan accordingly, and take the money back!"

He tugged on her hand to pull her close. "Take the money and keep you by my side." Y/N's cheeks flushed. "And that," she mumbled shyly. "Well, now that I know he's coming in the evening, there's still plenty of time that we have, you know…" Bucky hinted coyly, making her lie down on the bed and hovering above her, propped up by his arms. Y/N smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him in for a kiss. "Show me what you got, then."

"Oh, trust me princess, I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve, let's see if by the end of it you can even walk."

a/n: thanks for reading, leave a like if you enjoyed!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #mob!bucky barnes #mob au #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr #appreciation post

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choicesficwriterscreations · 3 months

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March Creator of the Month: Bayleedraws-sometimesx

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is the lovely @bayleedraws-sometimesx! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here. Center photo by the lovely @bayleedraws-sometimesx!

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog

How do you want to be known on Tumblr?

Baylee

More below...

When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I think it was in 2018, and I first played Bloodbound 1.

When and why did you join Choices fandom?

It was December 2020. I was really struggling at that point; my whole life had changed, and I still hadn't come to terms with it after a year. It was just an escape.

How did you pick your blog name?

It’s just my name and what I do.

Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

It’s just a pfp i did over halloween. It’d me dressed like Sally from Nightmare before Christmas.

Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

I used to want to be a writer. I really love writing stories, I’ve never really written any fanfiction, but technically, I can draw and write.

How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

It’ll be four years in December since I’ve been creating Choices-related stuff, but ever since I was a little kid, I’d get obsessed with different shows/ characters and write/ draw them.

What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

My favourite book is definitely Bloodbound. I love drawing BB related stuff because I have a slight obsession with Kamiliah

Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

It was a drawing I did for @ao719. I think I would change a lot if I were to draw it now. I don’t really like it anymore, and my style has definitely changed over the years. I find it really embarrassing looking back at old drawings.

What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

A BB animation (I still haven't finished), but it was really fun writing the story and designing/ drawing everything.

Do you have a creation that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I never expected any animations to do well and was very surprised when they did. I’m really sure that I would like to get more attention.

If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

I don't know. I’m moving into my own flat soon, so I’ve been drawing some scenery pieces I’m going to put up once I’m there. I find them really therapeutic to draw, so maybe that.

Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs?

Sometimes.

What element of art do you struggle with most?

Probably finishing the pieces off. By that point I’ve stared at it for so many hours that all I can see are the problems with it.

Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Absolutely, I’m going through a lot right now so there’s quite a lot of things that i really do want to finish but i just dont have the motivation.

If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

Maybe. My big brother taught me how to draw, so occasionally, I’ll let him look at some of my drawings.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

I can’t think of anyone published that I looked up to or have really inspired my artwork. There’s definitely people that i know in my life that have.

Which one of your creations would you like to see fiction written about?

I have absolutely no idea lol

Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

Yeah, I love creating new characters and really animations doing animations of my original characters.

What other hobbies do you have?

A lot of crafty things. I was taught how to sew, knit, and crochet as a kid, and those are things I still enjoy doing now.

#choices fic writers creations #playchoices #choices stories you play #cfwc creator of the month #bayleedraws-sometimesx #choices fanart #playchoices fanart #march creator of the month #open heart #bloodbound #crimes of passion #the royal romance

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euphoric-dramione · 6 months

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manacled

tw: spoilers for manacled

this one will be long, so brace yourselves

I first read Manacled in 2020, and it must've been the third Dramione fanfic I ever read, so I was truly very impressed with how well written it was. It remained the best and my favorite fanfic up until I started rereading it recently, and I'm writing this rant because I just finished rereading Manacled for a third time and I have some thoughts.

Firstly, it's important to state that back in 2020 I was still a high-school student, I loved reading books, especially classic literature, but I had little understanding of why some pieces of literature become classics and others don't. I just liked reading, and just like many other people, I thought that fanfiction was bad because all I've ever known at that point was Wattpad. Manacled changed my opinion. It was the best thing I had ever read, but I was only nineteen.

Now I am twenty-three, I have a degree in English literature, and although it might mean nothing to some people, it proves to me that I can read and understand texts as well as view them critically - my degree gave me tools to approach things I read and see using critical thinking skills. I don't want to critique Manacled because I think that all fanfiction is a wonderful gift that writers give readers for free, asking nothing in return, and that is such a lovely concept, so please keep that in mind when you read and review fanfiction. My critique stems more from what Manacled tells about the way we read classic literature, books in general, and how we deal when we face dubious morality. There is a thin line between books and literature - sometimes that line doesn't even exist. All literature is books, but not all books are literature. Just like all books are texts, but not all texts are books. What is Manacled then?

I'm choosing to speak about Manacled because I think it does a very interesting thing. It is an intertext of two books - Harry Potter and The Handmaid's Tale. Both of them are books, only one of them is literature, however in Manacled they are treated the same.

The Handmaid's Tale is a gruesome novel about a dystopian world where fertile women are slaves to men, their ability to bare children used as a weapon to exploit them. As the author herself, Margaret Atwood, stated, everything depicted in this novel had in some place or some time actually happened to women.

Rape in The Handmaid's Tale is a way for men to demonstrate how much power they have over women, and how they use that power to humiliate and control every aspect of women's lives, especially their reproductive health. Manacled picks up the very carcass of the story of The Handmaid's Tale and inserts it into a dark AU Harry Potter universe where the second wizarding war with Voldemort still continues some years later. Whereas The Handmaid's Tale is a thought-provoking feminist masterpiece about women's struggles and the never-ending violence perpetuated within walls of patriarchy, Manacled focuses solely on one woman and one man. The woman being Hermione Granger who is forced to bear Draco Malfoy's child in order to get her memories back, so Voldemort could rule forever. Later on, we figure out that Hermione and Draco were actually in love, but war set them apart, and it's him Hermione tried to protect by erasing her own memory. Here lies the distinction. Not only does Manacled say nothing about feminism and how women's bodies become war battlefields for, most often, men. Not speaking up on something in the intertext is absolutely nothing wrong. But Manacled does something else, something that I now see so clearly upon rereading, and something which I can neither forgive nor forget. It romanticizes rape. You might say I'm being too callous saying that it romanticizes rape when it is simply depicting in, and I will explain why I chose the word romanticizes.

Although Manacled doesn't allow us to attribute good or bad traits to characters, it is still very clear that Hermione is the heroine in this story and Draco - the hero with antihero characteristics. How do we deal with the fact that our hero hurt our heroine? We look for excuses. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione, and we're looking for excuses as to why he did it. Some excuses are these: he did it because he loved her, because if he hadn't raped her, Voldemort would've found out that they were hiding something, and then would've killed them both; he did it, but it hurt him even more than it hurt her (it is true that both the victim and the perpetrator might be equally traumatized by an event one caused and another had to suffer through, but it never excuses the perpetrator); and finally - he did it because he had no other choice. Side tangent, but if my loved one ever has to choose between murdering me or raping me, I hope they kill me. Murder me a million times before you rape me once, that will be a greater mercy. And I believe had Draco actually loved Hermione as much as he claimed, he would've murdered her before he laid a finger on her. Let's also have in mind that he rapes her not once, not twice, but over THIRTY times.

While The Handmaid's Tale tirelessly shows that rape is the worst thing that one person can do to another, Manacled, with all its horrifying depiction, claims the complete opposite. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione Granger, and although he doesn't take pleasure in it, he still does it. We find excuses for it because he is a hero of the story in our eyes, the same way that we find excuses for our favorite famous men when we find out they committed atrocious acts especially against women. When we read Manacled, we are encouraged to believe that rape is sometimes unavoidable, which is the greatest lie of all, it is blasphemous. Because it's Draco Malfoy committing the rape, it seems that sometimes a person has no other choice but to rape another which is a complete antithesis to what Margaret Atwood, and many other modern feminist thinkers claim. Of course, we don't need feminst thinkers to tell us rape is bad, but we might need to think a little deeper to understand that it is never something one has to do.

Rape is always avoidable, never necessary. It is perhaps the only crime that is committed not for some particular reason, but solely because one person wants to hurt another. Murder, theft, these are the crimes that a criminal might commit because they're poor, because they're are being blackmailed, because it's self-defense, etc. However, rape is such a horrifying crime specifically because you can always choose not to do it, and specifically because it is so hard to recover from - rape victims suffer more extreme and longer-lasting cases of PTSD than victims of any other crime because rape is so horrible and death might be considered dignified compared to rape, not better, but more merciful than rape. Draco Malfoy might be a lot of things in Manacled, but one of them is a rapist, and there is simply no going on around it. If you can forgive him, I hope it's because of all the other fanfics you've read where he was good and kind, and not because here he had no other choice but to rape, because that is simply not true. He had a choice, many choices, to be exact. The choice is always there. The most important thing is what we choose.

This is in no way an attack on Manacled, it is not a review nor is it hatespeech - I thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic back when I read it the first time, and I do think it is incredibly well-written, and I am not comparing it to any other published works because that would be unfair. I believe the things I've talked about have more to do with what regular people who are not writers write and how regular readers who do not read classics all the time accept and discuss that work later on. Anyone could've written something romanticizing rape, and many people do it all the time, some even get published and make money off it, but not all people can write as well as the author of Manacled, and even less would be ready to give us their work to read for free. I purposely do not mention the pseudonym of the author because I am also not attacking them personally, simply pointing out what I've noticed. Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

#feminism #intersectional feminism #the handmaid's tale #margaret atwood #manacled #dramione #dramione fanfiction #critical thinking #literature #booklr #text #writing #sociocritisism #hermione granger #draco malfoy #high reeve

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pynkgothicka · 1 year

Text

ＷｉｔｈｏｕｔＹｏｕＫＳＪ

Synopsis - When you try to break things off with Jin, your life seemingly gets worse almost immediately.

Pairing - Dark! Kim Seokjin x Fem! Reader

Featuring - Nia Long, Park Jimin

Tags and Warnings - Very manipulative Jin and suggestive content

Authors Note - I LUV JIN!! Next fics will be requests!!

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! The BTS members aren't like this at all, this is a work of dark fiction. Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

“Kiss me.”

Eyes trained on your lover, you ground yourself further into his lap, connecting your lips at his command.

Kim Seokjins lips tasted like cherries, and his tongue pried his way into your mouth.

The relationship started when Jin saw you struggling to bring your newly rented college text books up to your dorm. He had sweet talked his way into your heart.

He then gave you his phone number, after a while of talking asked you if you wanted to be with him officially. And with the promise of money, enticed you as a broke college student. It didn't matter to you but god did it make things better

Plus it was merely a plus he was attractive and actually a good “boyfriend.” His black hair framed his almost perfectly structured face. He'd always spoil you too, always bringing you candy when meeting up and getting you the most luxurious of dresses.

However things weren't always peachy, at least from your perspective. Something that put you off almost immediately after finding out was the fact that Jin was still married to his wife. And it seemingly made you the “other woman.”

You were aware of her, but you didn't think she was aware of you. And that just felt wrong for you to do. That woman doesn't deserve that treatment, and you had to be the one to bring up.

“Jin baby, can we talk?” You mumbled against his lips. Jin pulled away, you still straddling his leg. His thumb rubbed small circles into your right thigh.

“Of course, what's wrong?”

“Jin, I don't think I can keep doing this.” You said letting out a sigh. Jins harsh brows furrowed in, his face contorting into one of almost anger. “I… I don't like what we're doing to your wife. Its just wrong to me.”

“No, baby it's not wrong… I'm going to divorce her soon. You know I only love you.” Jin almost immediately said. You could feel yourself becoming lost in his eyes and sweet words again.

“Jin I don't want to do that to her! Plus it just makes me the other woman too you. I don't want that for myself. I don't want that for us.” You could feel yourself tear up at the confrontation. You didn't want to break up with him, he's one of the best things you'd ever experienced as you left home.

“Fine. Go.” Jin said with a sense of finality. He let you off his lap as he turned away to be left alone on the bed. You got up and grabbed your purse, leaving his house. You looked back one last time to see him looking out the window, he then closed the curtains as soon as his eyes connected to your own.

It felt strange leaving without him as he usually brought you back to your dorm.

You begrudgingly picked up your phone dialing your roommate to come pick you up, as you made your way to a nearby gas station.

“Hi, Nia? Yeah are you at the dorm right now?”

“Yeah I was about to go out, why?”

“I need a ride…”

“What happened to yours? Didn't you get picked up by your mysterious boyfriend??”

“Listen I just need a ride. I don't want to talk about it.”

“Fine. I'll come get you. Where are you?”

🔏

It'd been a few weeks since you ended things with Jin.

You didn't see, nor hear from him at all.

That what hurt the most.

It wasn't the fact that you were now back to eating tv dinners every other night. Or maybe the fact that you'd lost a reliable ride in a city majorly unknown to you.

It was the fact that you seemed that disposable.

And with that you began to cry again, putting your head into your pillow. You'd been crying for days at this point, missing one of the few men who treated you right.

Then Nia poked her head in your room, then seething through her teeth. “Listen girl, I’m going out. You need anything?” You shook your head, wiping away your tears in order to look directly at her. “Alright just call if you need something! And I'll send a pizza to the apartment soon.” And with that Nia left.

Finally you began to think, your mind running at a thousand miles a hour. You knew you needed to begin some self improvement.

Maybe you should go out?

No that gives you a chance to see Jin. And you really don't want to encounter him when you look so disheveled.

Maybe you could get back into online dating?

Yeah. That should work out good. Maybe all you needed to do was swipe left and right endlessly.

All you needed to do was get lost in your screen. It was a short escape, but a needed one.

🔏

Everything was finally going somewhat right.

Online you meet a college student by the name of Park Jimin. He was a dance major, and has been looking forward to meeting someone new. And after spending a week of talking every night on the phone, Jimin asked you out to a bar. He said it looked shady from the outside but he'd be willing to walk you inside.

Making sure you were all made up, you dug in your closet for a nice dress. Sadly a good chunk of your dresses was from Jin. Your eyes landed on a nice red party dress your ex-lover gave you. Looking in the mirror you smiled before leaving the apartment.

Me: I'm going out!

Nia🦋: finally!!!!!! ok stay safe! im hanging out with a friend for the nite 💋

You smiled at your phone, knowing atleast Nia was a decent dorm mate.

🔏

When you finally arrived at the bus stop Jimin wanted to meet you at, it was dark and empty. Only a single light stood across the way.

But you wanted to see Jimin in the real world. It was like a test, just to see if you were truly over Jin.

So you sat down and waited.

And waited…

And waited.

And not a single soul dared to show up. You sent a bunch of messages asking about Jimins whereabouts. But you didn't get a response.

Now you were breaking down, loud sobs echoing in the desolate spot.

“Baby?”

You looked up in the direction of the voice seeing no one other than Kim Seokjin. And you couldn't be more relieved. Maybe you failed your test in just that moment.

Jin pulled up parking his luxury car on the curb. He got out and made his way to you. His hair looked as gorgeous as ever, his lips curling into a genuine smile.

He kneeled down and placed a hand under your chin. He moved your face to look up at his. Your makeup was ruined, red matching your dress. “Jin, I'm sorry… I… I need you. I need you so bad. I don't know what I'd do without you.” Your arms wrapped around his neck.

Jin placed a hesitant hand on the back of your head, letting you cry into his neck. “It's okay. I'm going to take you back to my house alright. Don't worry okay, your going to be just fine.”

He stood up and held your hand, pulling you up. You leaned into his shirt, his fruity, earthy scent taking you over once again. A scent you missed desperately.

🔏

Jin had thought of it all.

His hand played with your hair as he watched you sleep peacefully in his bed. You looked so comfortable, so at peace.

He slowly drained all your funds from your bank account, leaving you to be in perfect position to need his money.

He hacked your phone, realizing you were going to meet a new guy, and paid him off to send you up. This made you realize just how dependent on his love.

Jin just couldn't think of existing in a world without you.

#dark writing #tw dark content #yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere blog #tw gaslighting #ksj #yandere kim seokjin #kim seokjin #bts fanfiction #bts yandere #yandere bts #Spotify

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miss-choi-park · 4 months

Text

Sin never tasted so...

Chapter 1 - Fate is a bastard

A TXT Yeonjun Fanfiction from Mrs. Choi-Park

CEO/non-idol/dom/bully!Yeonjun! / Confident/sub/named/fem!Reader!

No obstacle - made of stone - stops love, what love can do, it dares to do. - pretty cheesy, right?

Romeo and Juliet, literature that can only be endured through modern language and films, nowadays. We all know the plot.

~A boy and a girl, madly in love with each other but the tragic circumstances of the family dispute kill both of them in the end.

The "most beautiful" love story in the world...if you don't experience it yourself. Fate is sometimes an ice-cold bastard.

Warnings under the cut

Warnings: rough language, hate speech, bullying, sex language, they kinda hate each other, caring yeonjun

Please remember that I fully respect the privacy of all K-Pop Idols and that this is just a fantasy. It's not my intention to harm anyone! (I've been a MOA since March 2023)

The hot whirlpool was just right thing for my muscles, which were pretty acidic from two days of skiing.

I still had four days ahead of my parents and my winter sports trip. And even though skiing was my favorite sport after hip-hop dancing, it was pretty tiring. My parents and I also received an unpleasant surprise yesterday.

The 5-star sports hotel high in the Pyeongchang Mountains has also attracted another rich Korean family from Seoul.

Why did the Choi's - my father's chosen mortal enemies - have to have a vacation in the same hotel as us in the same week as us?!

Ever since I was little, my parents always instilled in me that the Choi's were truly the spawn of hell.

It wasn't until I was 13 years old that I really found out why our family's didn't get along at all.

My parents, who had moved from Germany to Korea four years before I was born, had started with a small bookstore, which developed into a publishing house for small authors and later into the second largest publishing house in South Korea. My parents have always hated the Choi's, who put obstacles in their way, even now they were holding back our really great success.

The Choi's owned the number one publishing house in Korea, which had also been producing Manhwa's for several years now. (Counterpart to Japanese anime)

Because of this family, my parents struggled with racism, failure and stagnation. We had to deal with copyright lawsuits again and again - fights that emptied our Bank account and were never really justified. We also couldn't follow up with the manhwa's because it was forbidden to us. The old Choi was "a big animal in the world of Politics," as he always said. And even though my parents had come a long way...we had to constantly look into our pockets while the Choi's lived in luxury.

The 5-star holiday was the first in 6 years. Before that we either couldn't go on a skiing holiday or we could only go to a 3-4 star hotel. That's why I wanted to enjoy the whirlpool now and do not think of anything bad, who knows when I'll have that again.

For two minutes I enjoyed the flow of water and the bubbles massaging my back.

Until~

"Oh no, that can't be possible! I wanted to go into that hot tub, potato!" I heard a voice. It didn't take a split second before I recognized the voice. The unpleasant nickname, only one person used it for me, was the final hint.

I opened my eyes and lifted my head, which I had rested on the edge of the hot tub.

Choi Yeonjun.

As expected.

The 24-year-old son of the family I had grown to hate.

Yeonjun stood on the stairs that led up to the hot tub where I was relaxing. I rolled my eyes, not giving him a second glance after dropping my head back down again.

He wasn't worth saying anything back.

"Come on out, I want to relax!" he grumbled. Without saying anything, I raised my hand out of the water with my middle finger held up.

There was silence for a moment. Before I was about to look up to see if he had disappeared, I heard an angry murmur. Then noises coming from the water. I raised my head again and actually saw Yeonjun across from me climbing into the large whirlpool.

"Fuck! What are you doing?!" I threw it at his head and Yeonjun looked up. His look more than disgusted as he lowered himself.

"Maybe I can get you out of here when I'm in." Yeonjun's arm swirled through the water in front of him as his gaze followed his movement. I saw him grin evilly, "Cool, through the whirlpool bubbles, you can't even tell that I've just made bubbles."

As his gaze climbed up to me, I understood what he meant and jumped up immediately. I had 100% confidence that he had just farted in here. So I rushed out of the water, exclaiming in disgust: "You really are the stupidest creep I've ever met!"

Yeonjun laughed as I tied my towel around myself, crawled into my flip flops and rushed away.

Stupid asshole! Why did I have to bother with something like that? Life could be so beautiful.

Even at school he was the biggest idiot I knew, who made every day there a living hell until he finally graduated and I could enjoy four years without him.

Stupid private comprehensive school from the first to the eighth grade we were in one school. Luckily he was always four steps above me, but I was always afraid the stupid idiot would repeat a year and we will sit together in a class at some point. Surprisingly this never happened.

He ruined everything. My school days, my school dance club - which he also signed up for after I signed up - the success of my family and so much more.

I really hated Yeonjun.

He was a brat, idiot, know-it-all and disgusting. I had asked my fate several times 'Why him? Why do I have to know someone like that?' ~ I would never have received an answer.

I really hoped he wouldn't come to the little party in the mountain hut by the ski slopes this evening. Hopefully he wasn't in the hut today where there were a thousand posters saying that today was a Party. Because as far as I knew Yeonjun, he took every party with him and always a slut from there who fell for his tricks and then was dropped by him afterwards.

Asshole!

I didn't want to spend any longer in the hotel's swimming area so I went to my room.

The smarter one always gives in, right?

Hope dies last, but eventually it dies too.

For me the time had come when the door of the cozy mountain hut opened and Yeonjun entered.

From my seat at the bar I could see the door perfectly and everyone who entered could also see me. Unfortunately, our eyes met immediately. I exhaled in frustration and rolled my eyes. The nice young man named Danwoo, who I had already met on the ski slopes yesterday, looked at me in surprise.

"What's up?" He asked over the loud music in the bar as I looked deep into my cocktail glass, hoping Yeonjun would just ignore me.

"Nothing…I"

"Heyjo Sumi!" A loud voice shouted at us.

Oh, please don't! Why me?!

While Danwoo turned in the direction the voice had come from, I drank my cocktail, which was actually quite strong, in one go.

When I put my glass back down, I was immediately greeted by Yeonjun's sharp eyes. He had stopped close to Danwoo and leaned on the counter so he could look at me.

"I thought you didn't like parties, sweetie." He greeted me.

I gave him a dark look.

"First of all, don't call me sweetie, second of all, I don't like parties when you're around and third, fuck off!" I replied.

Unfortunately, I knew that Yeonjun wouldn't be shaken off so easily.

Yeonjun gave a half-hearted laugh and raised his eyebrows: “That’s bad, I wasn’t planning on going.”

"Excuse me...may I ask who you are?" Danwoo interrupted our conversation and I clenched my teeth so hard that my jaw hurt as Yeonjun looked disparagingly at my acquaintance.

"The question would be mine first." He replied to Danwoo, who seemed a little taken aback.

"Yeonjun! Just shut up and leave!" I protested, causing his gaze to turn back to me. His bored look turned into a wickedly amused grin.

He rested his head on his hand: "Why so pissed off, little one? Your problem if you're always looking for someone who can't satisfy you."

A fire burned inside me. I immediately jumped up from my chair, wanting to choke Yeonjun with the small silver chain that hung around his neck.

I walked up to him and held my finger close to his nose: "I'd like you to-"

Before I could even continue speaking, I felt a hand on my shoulder pulling me back and away from Yeonjun faster than I expected.

It turned out to be Danwoo who pulled me through the dancing crowd, out of Yeonjun's sight. When we finally got to the corner where sofas were, he looked at me a little surprised: "Who was that?"

I looked at Danwoo for a few seconds before I glanced over my shoulder and was relieved to see that Yeonjun didn't seem to have followed us.

"Oh, that was nobody. I've called him my problem my whole life...please don't worry about him, he's just an asshole." I said and Danwoo's facial expressions relaxed a bit.

"Why is he here?"

"I would like to know that too, believe me, fate is just not kind to me."

"Then let's get out of his way."

"Deal!"

Surprisingly, I didn't even see a trace of Yeonjun in the hut for the next 2 hours. He had probably already grabbed the next poor girl and was fucking her somewhere.

I didn't care. Danwoo was so generous in ordering me a ton of alcohol that I didn't even think about Yeonjun. Until Danwoo went to the toilet around 2am, I took a short break from dancing and sank onto the couch in the back compartment of the mountain hut.

The party was surprisingly well attended, the songs were first class and the atmosphere was electric. I was happy to have met Danwoo because I would never go to a party like this alone.

My vision was still clear, but I noticed that my mood was getting significantly better with every second. I also started some conversations with complete strangers on the dance floor. Well, my inhibitions were long overcome.

"Where did you leave your boyfriend?" Someone asked me. I looked to my right where a bad awakening awaited me.

Yeonjun.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I asked, horrified. My good mood immediately disappeared.

"I was sitting here the whole time." He grumbled, taking a sip from his beer bottle that had been resting between his legs.

I stood up immediately.

I thought Yeonjun had already left the party, what was he doing here all of a sudden?!

I stood up immediately.

"Hey, wait! I asked you something!" He protested as I tried walking away. I ignored him and tried to escape through the dancing crowd. Unfortunately, this turned out to be difficult, thanks to the somewhat chubby man in front of me.

"Hey!" I heard Yeonjun say, shortly afterwards a surprisingly warm hand on my forearm. I was spun around and to make matters worse, lost my balance due to my drunkenness.

The next moment I found myself on the floor, between Yeonjun's legs. When I glanced up at him he seemed confused, but this was quickly replaced by a broad smile.

"Oh what did I do to deserve this honor?" He asked and I furrowed my eyebrows.

But before I could get up, Yeonjun leaned forward, his face now close to mine.

"Will you answer my question now?" He asked. The smell of beer could be clearly smelled from his breath. But my breathing probably wasn't any better.

"Why? Jealous?"

"Pfft!" with that amused sound, Yeonjun leaned back and I took the chance to get up.

"Why should I be jealous? You should be." He said and I looked down at him confused.

"What does that mean again?!" I wanted to know and Yeonjun shrugged indifferently.

"I thought I saw your guy disappearing into a cubicle in the toilet with someone earlier." He explained himself and I raised an eyebrow.

"God! How much have you drunk?"

"3 beers and a soju shot. I know what I saw.", He murmured before taking another sip from his bottle, "Think about it, how long has he been gone now?"

Oh my god...he wasn't entirely wrong. Danwoo had probably been gone for a little longer than 15 minutes. I bit my bottom lip, rather unconsciously, as I looked over my shoulder at the toilet entrance.

Well maybe the queue was long…

"Come!" Yeonjun said in a firm voice and walked past me. More successful than me, he made his way through the dancing crowd. I was left a little surprised. It was Yeonjun we were talking about here...he probably just wanted to convince me of something again. Lies were his specialty.

"What's wrong now, potato?" Yeonjun shouted, just loud enough for me to hear him over the music. I bit my lip again before hesitantly moving forward. I trotted after Yeonjun through the crowd. We got to the toilets pretty quickly.

From what I got to know - Danwoo was the complete opposite of Yeonjun. Funny, understanding, decent and attentive...I wouldn't trust him to ever cheat on anyone-

I froze when I saw Danwoo in the doorframe of the men's toilet. A short woman with long black hair stood in front of him, giggling wildly.

"Danwoo?" I immediately forgot it when I saw him and the unknown girl together.

Danwoo turned his head to the side and immediately stood upright. His features looked shocked. Like a little kid who just got caught stealing candy.

"Hey Sumi... uhm it's not what it looks like."

"Oh no! It is exactly what it looks like! What was he like, doll?" Yeonjun joined the conversation, the question obviously directed at the black-haired girl.

So he was right...Yeonjun hadn't lied to me. Then why did I want him to do it?

Contrary to my expectations, my eyes began to burn. A sign of impending tears.

Oh no!

The girl standing in front of Danwoo looked back and forth between me and him, more than surprised, as if she wanted to make sure we both were real.

"What do you want again? I don't even know you." Danwoo said to Yeonjun and I just turned around and ran. I didn't know where my legs would take me, but I just wanted to be somewhere else right now. Somewhere far away.

Why were all boys so shitty? My first boyfriend had already cheated on me...why does it have to happen again?! Why does fate always have to put obstacles in my way?! Why can't I be lucky too?!

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the mountain hut in the freezing cold winter when the first tear finally ran down my cheek.

The cold wind that blew over my arms, which were only covered with a thin sweater, gave me goosebumps. But I was less interested in that right now. I folded my arms and pulled my shoulders up to my ears, as I ran from A to B and cursed things that even I couldn't understand.

Only the light from the window of the hut and the light from the drag lifts twenty meters away brought light to the pitch-dark ski slope that stretched below me.

It's not what it looks like! It's always what it looks like! - "Asshole, idiot, wanker!" I called out into the clear evening air.

"I hope you don't mean me again?" A voice suddenly came from behind me.

I turned around and recognized Yeonjun in the dim light of the surroundings. I quickly turned away again.

Never let your enemies see your tears!- my father always says.

"Are you crying?" He asked further and I heard the snow crunching under his feet.

I frantically wiped my cold teary cheeks.

"Pff, not because of him! How long have you known him - a day?" Yeonjun said. His voice now close behind me.

"What do you want here, Yeonjun? Leave me alone, I have enough to worry about right now!" I replied sharply. For a moment there was silence. I kept my gaze fixed on the snow beneath me. I started to shiver, unintentionally but no wonder given the cold.

"I'll make sure you don't freeze to death out here." I heard him say. His answer was a little softer than usual.

"Ha! That would be fine with you." I hissed back.

"That's nonsense!" Yeonjun exclaimed, the next moment I felt his hands on my shoulders and I promptly were turned around.

"Why are you crying and trying to get yourself killed out here? Boys suck, you should know that."

"Cheating is not only shit, it's anti-social, unrespectful and a crime!", I pulled myself out of his grasp, "I just want to be alone right now, so get lost!"

"You're such a stubborn person sometimes that I just-"

"That you want to - what? - You want to kill me? Then make it easy and get inside! The cold will do the jo-"

Before I could finish, Yeonjun grabbed my forearm and pulled me with him surprisingly easily.

"Let go of me, asshole!" I protested as he opened the door to the mountain hut again.

He showed the tall, broadly built security man his party entry bracelet and also mine, since I was wearing it on my wrist, which he was holding tightly. The man nodded and looked at me a little confused as Yeonjun dragged me further.

"What's your jacket?!" He wanted to know when he got to the cloakroom and finally let me go. His grip would definitely leave bruises. "Mind your own business?" I asked and Yeonjun gave me a dangerous look.

"If you have your jacket, you're welcome to stand outside all night long, but you won't die." He growled.

"Since when have you been interested in my health?" I didn't give in.

"SUMI!!!" Yeonjun shouted clearly for everyone in the hut to hear, even over the loud music. I winced.

"Can't you forget your fucking pride for once and tell me what your fucking jacket looks like?!" He cursed at me. I looked at him for a few moments and then at the woman in the dressing room who had been watching us in shock. Finally, I rummaged through my back pocket of my jeans for the little chip that told the woman where my jacket had been hung.

The woman accepted the chip and disappeared into the cloakroom without saying a word.

"Finally!" Yeonjun turned his back to the coat rack and slumped against it. He looked at me and I suddenly felt very small. My gaze went down.

"You can be quite annoying, you know that?" He said and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. But I didn't say anything, even though there was something on the tip of my tongue that I had been able to respond.

A moment later the woman came back and put my jacket over the counter.

"Here you go, I wish you a pleasant evening." She murmured casually as she eyed Yeonjun skeptically, who still had his back to the woman.

I grabbed my jacket and decided at that moment that there was no point in staying here. So why not leaving?

Without saying another word to the woman or Yeonjun, I turned around and left.

"Put it on in front of me, otherwise I'll have to go out again!" Yeonjun asked me, but I kept going. When I finally got back outside, I put on my warm ski jacket and adjusted my scarf that was stuck in the sleeve of the jacket. Then I stalked off. The snow crunches beneath my feet.

I loved that sound and it always brought me a childlike joy, but right now it didn't spark anything in me.

I was drunk, sad and pissed off...sleep would help...maybe.

"Potato!" I heard Yeonjun calling, who seemed to have followed me outside again. I didn't stop, just looked over my shoulder in the direction of the mountain hut. Yeonjun ran after me, also frantically pulling his jacket over his shoulders.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked when he was no longer two meters away from me.

"To the hotel, I don't want to stay anymore." I explained myself and trudged up the stairs to the drag lift.

"Oh, fuck Danwoo! He wouldn't have made it anyway!" Yeonjun said. The sound of a zipper followed his statement.

"Is it always just about the one thing for you?” I asked as we arrived at the drag lift platform, that was supposed to bring us down. It was empty except for the two of us. The lift attendant had probably gone home hours ago and had just left the lift running.

"Well, I'm just saying, you always pick the losers." Yeonjun said as we stood so that a lift could swing directly into our legs. What happened immediately afterwards. We dropped into the cold seat of the seat lift and began our way down.

"How do you know? Danwoo wouldn’t have-"

"Oh no, don't tell me that. Danwoo wouldn't have gotten anything done. And that's exactly your problem!" He interrupted and I looked at him questioningly after I pulled down the bar that now served us as a belt.

"What's my problem?"

"You're totally unsatisfied! That's why it's so annoying with you."

I tried my best not to give the most sarcastic laugh the world had ever heard.

"You're such an idiot! That's not my problem, it's you! I'm a gentle little flower to others, you know...but as you are to me, I'm to you!"

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, "A gentle flower? How much did you drink?"

"To be honest, a lot, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm telling the truth." I said and crossed my arms.

"Hm...I'd rather stick to my opinion - sounds more logical." Yeonjun grumbled.The rest of the ride was silent. After we got out, we had to walk about 10 minutes to the hotel.

It was strange. I almost didn't feel the need to avoid Yeonjun. Of course he was annoying me - to hell - but I was almost happy not to be alone, even if it was Yeonjun...with whom I shared the silence of the night.

In the second minute of the walk, Yeonjun found his voice again: "Honestly, when was the last time you had really good sex?"

I looked at Yeonjun in horror. He looked at me almost innocently. A stark contrast to his question.

"As if I'm telling you this..." to be honest I've never had sex...but he didn't need to know that. With my first boyfriend it never got further than foreplay. Well, I was 20 now, but I never put any pressure on myself to have sex.

You don't miss what you don't know, so why the rush. The right one will come at some point.

"So it's been ages?" Yeonjun asked and I rolled my eyes. "Why am I even talking to you?!" I grumbled and Yeonjun gave a small laugh. "Because you know deep down that I'll bring it." This statement makes me stand still. I never expected such a statement even from Yeonjun. "Please what?" It slipped my mind and Yeonjun also stopped two steps in front of me. He smiled broadly at me and wiggled his eyebrows.

"I don't want to praise myself, but I've only ever received good feedback. I could get you to your high." He said and you could practically see him mentally patting himself on the shoulder.

"You're disgusting! I thought I am too annoying to put up with for even two minutes." I pointed out and Yeonjun shrugged.

"Drunk you're ok." He said and continued walking. After a few seconds I started moving again.

"Still this won't happen in a thousand years!" I said, earning a laugh from Yeonjun.

"Not even if you were the last one in the world." I continued my thought. Now nothing came from Yeonjun. The thought shook my body.

No, no, I would never go into bed with him. Disgusting!

"I..would." I then heard and looked up. Yeonjun looked over his shoulders at me.

"I do not think so."

"I guess so!"

"Oh man Yeonjun, are you really just thinking with your cock?"

"Would be a huge space for thinking." It took me two seconds to understand what he meant. When it clicked, I pushed him aside: "You're really gross!"

The hotel was already in sight. I almost thought we had a good moment, a minute ago, but now I just wanted to get away from this conversation quickly. Luckily, Yeonjun stayed behind me and kept his mouth shut. But I felt his gaze very present on me.

"Apart from your stubbornness, which really annoys me, you have a really nice body." Yeonjun finally said as we turned into the hotel parking area.

"Yeonjun stop, this is really strange!" I protested, only hearing a deep breath behind me.

"Are you really drunk?" He asked further and I looked over my shoulder. His warm breath puffed into the cold air, clearer than my own.

"I don't think DRUNK but ON DRUNK." I said as I pushed open the front door of the hotel. The lobby was only dimly lit, but cozy and warm. Nobody was here anymore - sure it was about 3am. I stopped briefly in front of the fireplace and stretched out my cold fingers. The ember still released heat.

Mmm, that was nice.

Suddenly someone grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back violently. Immediately afterwards I noticed the corner of the old wooden reception desk on my lower back. Startled, I looked up and was greeted by Yeonjun's sharp eyes. I knew that Yeonjun was significantly taller than me, but he was just so close to me that I had to look up high. His hands firmly on my hips, holding me close to the reception.

"What the hell-"

"Funny...I'm pretty horny right now." He murmured and I saw his eyes suddenly darken. That sent a shiver down my spine.

Please feel free to let me know your opinion 🤗

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#txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #fanfic #kpop fanfic #txt fanfic #love story #kpop lover #txt yeonjun smut #yeonjun smut

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hayatheauthor · 1 year

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How To Answer Some Common Literary Agent Questions

Writing a book can be hard, but querying can sometimes seem harder without the right resources! If you’re an author who feels like you’re jumping into your queries without any guidance, here are a few tips to help you answer some common literary agent questions.

Before we get started, I would like to put out a disclaimer stating that this is not a list of rules for what you should or shouldn’t do when querying! The sole purpose of this blog post is to help my fellow #amquerying authors get a general idea of how to write a query letter and answer common literary agent questions.

This blog post is based on the research I conducted before sending out my queries and the feedback I received for them. I might not be an industry expert, but I have spent the past couple of months querying agents and received a dozen partial and full requests (which I am eagerly awaiting a response for).

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s get started!

The Author Bio

The author bio is possibly the most common question you will see when querying. Most if not all agents prefer to know at least a little bit about their authors before they jump into your manuscript, this is so they can gain insight into your past experience and credibility as an author.

A writer’s author bio is directly affected by the genre they are writing for and should be adjusted accordingly. What might sound like a good bio for your nonfiction memoir might sound ineffectual for your YA fantasy novel.

Here is a general guide on how to write your author bio based on your genre.

Nonfiction

When writing a nonfiction author bio it’s important to mention two things: why you chose to write about this topic, and why you’re the right person to write this book. I would also mention a little bit about why this book should be written, why you think people would read it, and why now.

If you are a debut author then talk about any past experience you have in the industry you are writing about. For example, if you’re writing a biography about a prominent historical figure who you previously researched for work, a thesis, etc. then consider mentioning that.

If you are not a debut author then talk about your past experience in the literary industry. Sales, platforms, what type of nonfiction book did you write in the past, etc.

Fiction

When writing a fiction author bio it’s important to mention any and all marketing and writing experience you have. So long as it is relevant.

For example, if you’re writing a fantasy novel and have a booktok account where you post about it, then consider mentioning that. Or if you previously wrote a popular rom-com but are now trying to write a chick lit, then mention who you published with and why you decided to write for this new genre.

Struggling to find the right words for your query? Consider checking out my blog on how to get out of the slush pile and make your agent say YES.

How To Write An Author Bio For Your Debut Novel

Writing an author biography as a debut author might seem pointless to most, but I implore you to take the time to type out an appropriate response to this question.

When I was querying agents I received several rejections during my first and second rounds of querying, but do you know what I didn’t receive? A form rejection. Each and every agent who asked for an author bio responded with some sort of praise for my marketing or writing prowess as a teenager.

Some even went out of their way to provide me with referrals or agent resources, which helped me secure two agents who requested a full manuscript.

My author bio wasn’t overly grand or impressive, in fact, it was quite simple. Here are some things to mention in your author bio as a debut author:

Any relevant past writing experience.

Outside of writing my book, I also work as a content writer for digital marketing agencies, blog about writing advice, and previously wrote a couple of ‘viral’ e-novels and fanfictions on online platforms. None of these have anything to do with my WIP or author journey, but they help prospective agents know that I:

Have gathered a sum of readers with my past work.

Know how to create professional content for marketing purposes.

Can stick to a writing schedule and provide them with new content/WIPs when needed.

This can all help convince them to work with you.

Any social media platforms

We’ve all heard of those lucky few authors who went viral on social media and landed a book deal because of it. It might be a little hard to follow in their footsteps and make a publisher reach out to you because of your platform, but having a social media presence can help you in the long run.

It also shows your agent that you have a pool of readers interested in your book and a couple of industry connections, whether that be other authors or book reviewers.

A thousand followers might not seem like a big achievement when compared to an influencer with a bigger platform, but think of it this way—when you mention your platforms in your author bio, you’re basically telling your agent you have a thousand prospective readers. Most bestseller lists need a minimum of five thousand purchases.

Target Audience

Knowing your target audience is important in order to establish a concrete image of your WIP. When establishing your target audience, here are some things you should take into consideration:

The age group. Your target age group might not seem like a big concern for an author writing adult books, but if you are an author writing for a younger audience it’s important to acknowledge your age group before you send out queries. This helps ensure you don’t query an MG agent a YA book, but also makes it clear whether you’re writing for teenagers, new adults, tweens, or children.

The type of audience in that age group. Once you know your age group, it’s important to figure out your type of audience. This can look like something as simple as ‘teenage girls’ or ‘new adults graduating from college.’

Authors with a similar book. One easy way to establish your target audience is by saying ‘readers of (insert author)’ or ‘readers who like (insert book). I would recommend mentioning two to three books and authors if you decide to go with this method.

Readers who like a certain trope. If you can’t think of any authors with similar books to yours then try mentioning a trope from your book. Something as simple as ‘people who enjoy reading about mythology’ or ‘found family lovers’ is good enough.

Similar Books

A quick Google search can help you find a couple of books similar to your manuscript. These titles don’t have to follow the same plot as your WIP or have all the same tropes. The point is to find books with similar tropes and themes that can give your literary agent a sense of what they’re getting into.

You can either mention a couple of titles and leave it at that or go on to explain why you chose these titles. Something as simple as ‘my manuscript is comparable to books like Six of Crows because it features a thrilling heist’ will suffice.

Remember to keep this section short. The point is to help your agent gain insight into your manuscript.

Need help finding the right resources to perfect your query? Here are some websites and writing apps every author needs.

Elevator Pitch

An elevator pitch is essentially what you would say to your literary agent if you were trying to pitch your manuscript to them during an elevator ride. It needs to be short yet impactful and hook your agent with one or two sentences.

Look at similar titles and search up their elevator pitches or blogs. Take a look at the first few sentences of their blurb, figure out what helped them hook their readers, and then start drafting your own pitch.

I would recommend writing down five to ten pitches and reading them out to your family or friends who are readers, then ask them which pitch hooked them the most and why.

Why Us?

Literary agents often don’t bother to ask authors why you want to work with them, but a casual mention of how you found out about them can go a long way.

Use direct quotes from their manuscript wishlist or website page. Mention something they seemed proud about or a factor that stuck out to you. Maybe they have a fast response time, maybe they collaborate closely with their authors or work with their authors even after the first project.

If you can’t think of anything to say, then talk about one of their past projects that seems similar to your WIP or has similar tropes and topics.

I hope this blog on how to answer some common literary agent questions will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and subscribe to my email list for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks?

Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of my blog where I post writing and marketing tools for authors every Monday and Thursday.

Want to learn more about me and my writing journey? Visit my social media pages under the handle @hayatheauthor where I post content about my WIP The Traitor’s Throne and life as a teenage author.

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kedreeva · 1 year

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Kedreeva, may I ask your opinion on a fic commenting issue?

If a reader leaves a comment on a fic that results in the writer giving up on it, would you automatically think that reader was in the wrong?

Here's why I'm asking. I've been writing a fic for almost a year, but I've been struggling with it for the last month or so. I've lost focus, don't know what I'm doing with it anymore, can't keep the plot on track, no longer feel the joy for it that I used to feel.

This morning, a reader left a comment on the fic saying what I know in my heart. It's wandering off, it's lost focus, it's become long and bloated and isn't going anywhere anymore. I need to learn to edit, to tell a proper story instead of just wittering on and on.

Not gonna lie. The comment made me cry. But at the same time, the reader is absolutely right. Everything they said was true.

Reading the comment gave me the courage to do what I should have done two months ago. I put up a note telling readers I've lost my way with the fic and it's time to move on to other projects. I felt sad, but a little relieved at the same time.

I explained the situation to an online fic buddy, and they were furious at the reader who left the comment, said they had no business saying something like that, and the remarks were completely uncalled for.

But I feel like the reader's honesty made me realize the truth of the situation. The fic has turned into an unfixable mess - I just couldn't acknowledge that until someone said it loudly right to my face.

Was that reader in the wrong? I don't feel they were, but my buddy disagrees. Would love to know what you think.

Your buddy is right that the reader was in the wrong in so far as etiquette goes. Whether or not the reader was correct has no bearing on the etiquette of the situation, which is that (at least on AO3), unsolicited criticism is considered rude to leave.

Compare the context to another situation; if a writer makes a typo and a reader comments to correct the typo, without being asked to do so first, it doesn't matter that the spelling correction is correct. The correctness of the comment has no bearing on the etiquette of giving unsolicited criticism. It's still rude to leave because the author didn't request interference or assistance, and the reader has no idea what effect the comment will have on the author.

Now, that in no way means that you, personally, have to be angry with this particular reader or hurt by their action. If you feel it helped you, then it helped you. Individual writers may have mixed or even positive associations with crit, solicited or not, and that's totally cool. I, myself, am not going to suffer any great consequence if someone criticizes my work (I don't like it, but fuck 'em, it's not going to stop me or anything), but they're still going to get an earful back, because I have seen too many people hurt or leave because some readers can't follow the golden rule, and I don't want to see the more vulnerable people pushed out of my community.

Because the point of the etiquette here IS to protect the vulnerable people in our communities. Fandom in general is FULL of vulnerable people, and fanfiction often exposes soft bits of the author. You may have taken it well enough and resolved a personal issue because of it, but that same type of comment given to someone just starting out or to someone in a delicate/sensitive part of their life (for example, if they are experiencing hardships in real life and writing to escape that for a little while) or just simply writing as a fun hobby... that kind of comment can do a lot of damage. You chose to stop because you already knew you were having problems with the story. Another person may choose to stop not because they want to or because it's a positive step for them, but because their RSD now makes it horrifying to try to write instead of being a happy endeavor. Or a hundred other, negative reasons.

And the reason your friend is likely angry on your behalf is that the reader had no way of knowing whether you would take it well, and did not (as far as I know from what you've said here) make any attempt to inquire with you first as to whether you wanted that kind of advice. It would be different if they had said "hey, i've been reading along, and I was wondering if you'd mind some advice?" first. That at least would have given you an opportunity to talk about it willingly or say "I'm not really in a place where I want/can handle that, but thank you for the offer!" Regardless of outcome, you deserved to have had that option in the first place.

I'm glad that the comment helped you, as an individual. But your friend is also right, in that that type of comment is typically rude and potentially harmful to others. That being said, your friend should also be able to let go of their anger about it if there was no harm done in this instance. There's room for coexistence in this case; I'm sure that you can understand that just because you weren't hurt doesn't mean no one would be, and I'm sure your friend can understand that just because it was rude doesn't mean it was bad for you (specific) this once.

#anon asks #asks #commenting #writing #reading #ao3 #and I wish you luck in your continued writing endeavors!#as an aside #you CAN always always always just leave a note #saying that you're fine with crit #like if it doesn't bother you or if it helps you #you can just blanket give permission!#then your friend can relax because it's not unsolicited anymore

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blindmagdalena · 5 months

Note

Did you or do you ever struggle writing character x reader fanfiction? I read it quite a lot but I just can't get used to writing in that format. I'm writing an OC x Homelander story, though.

I had never created an OC before, but I am certainly more comfortable writing a character that has a name, face and backstory of their own than using a generic reader. Particularly when I'm writing about the character's past and other individual characteristics, addressing the reader as you seems so weird to me. It makes me feel like I can't give in to specifics because it breaks the illusion.

Also, I've enjoyed the act of creating an OC. Giving them a name, a story, motivations, designing their psychology, etc.

However, I find it discouraging to see that OC x HL stories are nowhere near as popular as HL x Reader and I worry that I may not find an audience. When I post anything in ao3 it gets like two likes and in tumblr I'm just ignored completely 😢

Could you please give me some advice pls?

oh my darling! i hear you. the disparity in interest between x oc content vs x reader content is undeniable, but it's also inevitable. all the reasons you describe struggling with reader perspective fics is why it's so popular: the lack of detail allows the reader to adopt a nebulous perspective, whether they see their own oc in that situation or their literal selves. it doesn't require them to get to know or become invested in your creation, it allows them to indulge in what feels like their own.

i don't think readers get enough credit for their suspension of disbelief and the mental work they put into filling in the blanks that authors leave. similarly, it's absolutely difficult to tell a compelling story while leaving what is often the perspective character a near blank slate. that said! the fics i get the most feedback on are where the reader does have a stronger personality. people love banter, and even if the reader's voice doesn't always feel like something they would actually say, it always produces much more engaging interactions.

i've definitely had my struggle with this in the past, but i'm still learning. the series i'm working on right now, Guilty Pleasures, features a reader with quite a lot of personality, and i've established things about her that i wouldn't normally go into such detail, and the response to it has been great! your reader perspective SHOULD still feel like a character with thoughts, motivations and feelings. otherwise, the story is going to fall a little flat.

if it's easier for you to write the reader perspective as if they're your oc, you should do that. there's a delicate balance between too much and too little information when it comes to reader fic. sometimes taking liberties really works, and i think you'd be surprised how well readers can stretch that illusion. reader perspective should resonate, but not be so overpowering that the actual person reading doesn't like them.

but you absolutely do not need to force yourself to write a particular style of story if it's not something you actually enjoy. i also write and enjoy oc fic! i honestly think my oc fic Eat Your Ego is some of my very best work. unfortunately, it's rare that any of those chapters ever break close to 100 notes, whereas even little reader drabbles will see 2-3x those numbers, sometimes more.

but i write it because i love it, and it's the story i want to tell. that's what matters! and because of my dedication to the story, people have been kind enough to trust me with their time and investment. oc fic will never have the same broad appeal that reader fic does, but that doesn't make it less valuable. you just have to invest more in promoting yourself and convincing people that your story has something to offer them.

my best advice is just don't give up! i'm horribly erratic when it comes to the creative projects i work on, but i've been writing Eat Your Ego for over a year and it has gathered a lovely little following. feedback on that fic means SO much to me. even though there's less of it, the joy it brings me is immeasurable because that fic is special to me. don't give up on your story! it deserves to be told. 🖤

#got long so i threw it under a readmore #sorry i ramble haha #i hope this helps even a little bit!#i come from a generation/culture of fic and rp that was extremely negative towards BOTH oc and reader content #so being involved as heavily in them as i am now is pretty surprising #but more and more i'm finding i prefer both of them to purely canon content #homelander x reader #x reader

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grassbreads · 4 months

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im curious, whats your favorite longfic??

Oh my god anon you are enabling me so hard right now. Are we sure you're not some deep splintered section of my subconscious that split off just for the sake of sending me this ask?

Anyway, my favorite fanfiction is a Homestuck fic by oxfordroulette called Vanitas Vanitatum. This mildly pornographic novel-length fantasy au dirkjohn fic is genuinely, independent of actual Homestuck, one of my all time favorite written stories.

Vanitas Vanitatum is the third fic in a long series, but it's technically a standalone. The first fic in the series is a jadekat fantasy road trip adventure, the second one is about jadekat getting dragged into a bunch of mysterious royal intrigue at Jade's arranged marriage to Eridan, and Vanitas Vanitatum is about the aftermath of that intrigue. John Egbert ascends to the throne of their country after the death of his and Jade's evil mother in the previous fic, and he's totally fine guys! He's definitely absolutely having zero mental health troubles!

Dirk, our pov character, enters as a new member of John's secret police. He slowly befriends his new king/boss and, in doing so, begins to discover the extent to which John is totally definitely okay! He's fine Dirk so you can stop asking! And because he's Dirk Strider, when he discovers how John is struggling, he immediately wants to Fix Him. Enter a twisted mess of genuinely falling in love and horrible shadowy puppet master schemes.

Vanitas Vanitatum is the ultimate "I can fix him" romance. It is an "I can fix him" romance to the extent that Dirk's desire to "fix" John becomes one of the fic's main conflicts—in addition to John's genuine mental health crisis and the political crisis that's happening around them. If you know anything about my taste in fiction, you're probably looking at "dark fantasy story about a guy trying to unravel and understand his crush's mental health problems" and going "okay yeah. I see why Andie is obsessed with this."

If you're a Homestuck fan, even if you're not usually a DirkJohn person, I cannot recommend Vanitas Vanitatum highly enough. It's well-written, it's funny, it's heartwarming, and it's absolutely heartbreaking. The plot is twisty and, especially if you've read the rest of the series, absolutely filled with delicious dramatic irony. The way oxfordroulette writes Dirk's pov is an absolute treat. And while the fic is fairly nsfw (there's only three actual sex scenes if I remember right, but lot of discussion and thinking about sex in the interim), the real porn in this fic is the food and costume porn. The author knows what the people want, and it's decadent food descriptions and crazy fantasy royalty outfits. It's also illustrated!

Honestly, if the fic didn't require an understanding of troll romance quadrants to make any goddamn sense, I'd be recommending it to non Homestuck fans as well. It's just a really good story.

Here's the official summary:

You've determined the hobbies of the monarch you serve are as follows: 1. Ill-timed pranks. 2. Cooking. 3. Subconsciously pulling elaborate political schemes off perfectly, ad infinitum, every one of which inches his mind closer to some ineffable dark chasm you're curious to find the depth of. Anyway, he makes damn good lasagna.

Read it here :)

#I'm normally a characterization stickler. and while I can't say VV John's characterization is perfectly in line with canon #it's clearly based on canon in interesting ways while being shaped by the very specific setting this au's John grew up in #and it's SO self-consistent within that newly constructed setting #it's so fascinating it's so good #and yes I'm aware of how funny it is that I'm a diehard fan of not one but two stories with vanitas in the title #that are about someone meeting a guy and trying to unravel his mental health problems before he goes over the edge in his depression #what can I say I like stories about death magic and trauma #anyway now someone just has to ask me to explain my SECOND favorite homestuck fanfic and I can die in peace lmao #invasion of the frogs #vanitas vanitatum #dirkjohn #ask #anon

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icypantherwrites · 1 month

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Update on AO3 Situation + Final RAINN Support Event

(this is a little long, but please, if possible, read to the end.)

AO3 has *finally* reinstated my fanfiction To Become the Nightmare and in a way this nightmare situation is over. I'm still extremely frustrated and disappointed though with AO3 especially as I am 99.9% certain the only reason my issue was finally addressed was because I tagged their support page on Twitter/X rather than any of my emails and communications to their actual Policy and Abuse team. They also provided no apology or reason for the delay or an explanation for why their staff provided a 1-week timeline that they then ignored for 3.5 weeks. I'm grateful to have my story back, but this entire ordeal has been awful in so many ways.

I will also admit on a personal note it was also disheartening to see how many folks sent me messages, asks (to the point I locked them down on Tumblr) and comments on AO3 stories (of which I'd know there'd be even more if AO3 hadn't made the blanket decision to lock down all guest comments) wanting to know where I'd be updating now, getting upset over the fact I use Patreon as they don't want paywalls to read my works, asking about the status of current stories and former stories, etc. and very rarely, if at all, even taking into account how all of this was affecting me.

I have poured years into posting on AO3, on making it a platform where I have over 2.5 million words worth of stories for everyone to enjoy, and am dealing with AO3 painting me as some villain because I linked to an organization to try to help sexual assault victims, and their complete lack of communication on top of all of that felt intentional. It's put me in a really bad mental health state and coming in daily to see multiple people asking and asking about how will *they* read my stories and making me feel guilty for not updating just... it really hurt. And the answer was I didn't know entirely what was going to happen and was still hoping for the best outcome with AO3. And contrary to some of the accusations I received, I never intended to put all of my new and upcoming works behind a Patreon paywall and certainly never planned to delete any works other than the single one I mentioned (and I explained why that was). I may have used Patreon's platform (because it has better formatting than say Tumblr) and made the works posted there available to the public (anyone can join as a free member, fyi), but that was never the end-game and the fact so many people got mad and angry and posted honestly kind of cruel asks and comments... I'm really hurt. I'm a person too and I share my works with my own time and energy and to have everyone so embroiled in this "me me me" energy when I was really struggling with what AO3 did, just... makes me not want to post anymore anywhere at all. I won't do that because I won't punish those folks who have been supportive and kind, but please, take a moment before you comment to think how it feels to be the recipient of a message like that. That's all the energy left I have to spend on that but please, be kind. Be understand. Be appreciative for what you do have and remember always that authors have feelings too.

Going forward I'll be looking to get back to updating existing stories and publishing some backlog on AO3 during this suspension/lock; however, I will be holding off on that until AO3 lifts their own blanket ban on guest comments as I know there are plenty of folks who prefer to engage that way and/or haven't yet been able to get accounts. You may have seen as well that my account, given that it seems to be AI-bots leading the reason for the guest ban, has been locked down to only AO3 accounts able to read my works. That will remain in effect until AO3 releases theirs and it may be something I ultimately do to protect my account and my works in the future, but for now once the current AO3 situation has been resolved that will go back to access to guest accounts as well.

In the meantime, with To Become the Nightmare restored and the fact my earlier RAINN support events have thus far yielded $2 for me to donate (which hurts in other ways xD Come on y'all, financial support for a great organization and some emotional support and love for the author, what's not to like about that?) I'm going to do one final event to try to raise some funds for RAINN and at least try to make a small, positive difference in all of this mess.

For the remainder of this week, anyone who leaves an engaged comment (100+ words, no quote-backs in that word count, about the fanfiction at hand) on To Become the Nightmare I will donate $2 per comment to RAINN. It would also personally mean a lot to me as this story never really had a lot of comment engagement in the first place AND on top of that it got a really, really toxic comment. I unfortunately get those folks regularly on sexual assault recovery fanfictions I write because they refuse to accept that everyone heals in different ways AND also refuse to take accountability where if they don't like what they're reading they have the power to hit the back button on their browser and just not read it. I left that particular comment up (you can see it on page 2) if you want a taste of some of the people I still encounter to this day. Anyways, it would mean a lot to hear from those who may want to read it, but given that it both a; has sexual assault and b; is an M-rating please do read it at your own discretion. I'm posting the full summary below and please read the warnings tagged on the story. I'll post an update at the end of the week with how much we managed to raise for RAINN (and if you'd like to donate on your own too, please feel free~! ♥)

To Become the Nightmare

Summary: [College AU] “And if you didn’t want to have fun,” nails dug into Lance’s skin as the grip tightened and Dios, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t move, “then you shouldn’t have been such a pretty little tease, freshie. You wanted to hang with the big boys? Well,” he chuckled, “welcome to the real party.” Hot breath wafted over Lance’s face as the upperclassmen smirked down at him. “Now let’s get it started.”

#voltron #vld #lance #langst #fanfiction #fanfic #icypanther #icypantherwrites #rainn #donation #support #ao3 #archive of our own

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