#i think in general it's very odd to send anon hate to anyone.. it's just not necessary

[decepti-thots]

I was in the tumblr tf fandom for a hot second a few years ago and i just wanted to ask, is it still really aggressive here? because back then there was a lot of shipping drama, there were a few callout posts going around (can't really remember about what) and just...a lot of bad stuff. I personally had someone tell me to kill myself because I liked one of the villains. guess I'm just wondering if, in your opinion, things have chilled out? Cuz I'd like to get back into it but I'm a little hesitant;;;

I'm going to try and give the fullest answer I can in the best faith to this! For context, this blog is a couple years old now, I have enough followers that I get a lot of active engagement on my posts etc, I am very active in TF fandom here, Twitter, and IRL, and while I did not used to be active I have been lurking in TF fandom as long as I have been on Tumblr.

There is absolutely still some toxicity; all fandoms have their bad faith actors, their drama hounds, their shipping Diskhorsers TM. I have gotten hate mail, I know folks who have issue with weird anon haters who are persistent, whatever. But no, it is not as bad as it has been in the past, IMO, not at ALL, and it is 100% possible to have an active, sociable and nice time in this fandom so long as you curate your engagement, with basically no drama at all. Many of the worst folks burned out and left when the fandom got less active and their shitstirring paid lesser and lesser dividends, IME.

People sometimes ask how I maintain such a vocal presence without falling into the still-there drama, and I have some advice that I promise you will mitigate like, 99% of the possible issues you could encounter:

Block whenever you feel like blocking. If you get a bad vibe, if you just don't personally like someone and don't wanna see them, if you see them throwing what looks like a temper tantrum you don't want in on, just block 'em. Remember: blocking is nothing personal towards the person you are blocking. It is not insulting and doesn't need to be 'earned'. Block every single person you think not blocking might even just theoretically cause stress or drama. (I am blocked by several people for reasons no more serious than 'I hate your OTP', and I commend every one of them for doing it and having a better time on this site!)

Delete any and all anon hate. Block anyone and everyone who sends you hate. No exceptions. No witty comebacks. No takedowns. Nothing. You see it and the actual literal second you do, you block and delete. None of it is worth one second of your time. Deprived of the oxygen, they will leave. And you won't be tempted to re-read it and stress out.

In that same vein, if it causes issues, just turn anon off! Turn it off. Personally I keep it on because I simply do not care about the odd troll, but if you care even slightly? Fuck 'em, turn it off, anon is a privilege your followers need to earn by acting in good faith.

Find people you like and follow them, ignore blatant shitstirring in the maintags (again: block people!) and try to curate content and follows and mutuals based on what you do like and not what you don't. Curate positive engagement; do not rely on the general fandom slurry, find what you like and hang out in your own corner of things that bring you joy. If the maintag stresses you out: don't check it. Check the blogs of folks you know are cool instead. Stuff like that.

Fandom should be fun. Fandom should be finding people you like and sharing good times with them, not stressing about avoiding folks you hate, or who hate you. Tumblr lets you moderate how you engage, when, and where more than almost any current social media site; now you can even turn off reblogs and oh my GOD is that a lifesaver function btw. If you want, you can make your blog unsearchable! It means you will need to be more proactive in making friends. But TF fandom is pretty tight knit these days, and folks want to talk a lot of the time. You'll still be able to engage with cool people.

There's way less aggro losers around these days, but more to the point, you can absolutely avoid the ones that still insist on being annoying and starve them out without much effort, tbh.

[wolfmoonmusic]

Hello !! Congrats on 200 <3 I adore your writing, it literally fuels my daydreams ^^

I’d like to request a Sailboat for your event !! Specifically for Harry Potter, or just the young Marauders

- I am arospec & queer. I don’t experience romantic attraction but I love the idea of a relationship. I love having a person who is committed to you & also some relationship stuff like cuddling and dates is nice to me :^) This is something important to me that I would tell my partner just to make sure we’re on the same page. I don’t have any gender preferences for dating

- I use all pronouns with a slight preference towards they/them

- I am pale, lanky, and like to think I’m androgynous looking. I have shoulder length brown hair with white streaks in the front and bangs. I have brown eyes, freckles, heavy eye bags, and wear glasses almost always. I dress in a lot of big sweaters, long skirts, and hand me down t shirts + baggy pants.

- In general I’m extremely shy and can come off a little cold to people who don’t know me well just because I’m very awkward and do not know how to talk to people at all. I don’t make friends easily but when I do I am very talkative and lively around them. My humor is pretty sarcastic yet lighthearted, I also laugh way too easily. I am a little nerdy about my interests (fantasy, sharks, & crochet) and will gladly ramble to anyone who‘ll listen. I have a hard time understanding social cues and can be seen as very odd. I’m very caring towards my friends and put them before all else, even myself most times. I can be a pushover and have a very difficult time standing up for myself, I hate confrontation and will suffer if it means I don’t have to talk to someone but I will stand by my morals and speak up when I feel something is truly wrong. I’m a huge crybaby, I will literally cry at any little thing but I don’t really see it as a bad thing necessarily, that’s just how I release negative emotions. I’ve been described as timid, empathetic, kindhearted, and a good listener. I’ve also been compared to the main (human) character of Ratatouille an oddly high amount of times ??

- My giving love language is quality time, I love spending time with my loved ones even when we’re just sat in comfortable silence. I also love giving gifts, I crochet and make jewelry for others quite often. My receiving love language is preferably words of affection and physical touch <3

I think that’s all I meant to include !!

Also !! Could I submit a sailboat for more than one fandom? I was fr struggling to decide which one to submit this for. If yes, should I just send the same description with the other fandom? And if it’s only one fandom that’s completely fine !!

- 👾

*gasps* emojis for anons YES

Please continue to do so.

And of course you can ask for more than one fandom. Since I've got an identification mark now you can just send in the other fandom, no need for details.

Anywaysss your current sailboat request:

James was relentless, something about you had piqued his interest after you'd gotten sorted into Gryffindor and he wouldn't leave you alone

So, eventually, you started becoming friends

James always gets on your nerves in class, and you always tried to get him to shut up for just once

"Shut up James!"

"Mr/Mrs. L/N. Please get out of my class and take Mr.Potter with you"

"I'm so mad at you right now"

But James thinks you look cute when your angry or pissed off so he doesn't mind (just makes the face he does in the gif)

You told the Marauders about your sexuality right after Remus's first episode that you all handled together, because that night just brought you all together.

James didn't mind

When he does ask you out, you say yes of course

He's very touchy, so he's always holding your hand or showing affection in other physical ways

You spend almost the entire day together, even sneaking into each other's dorms for the night

You crochet him stuff and he cherishes it almost as much as he cherishes you

He's very protective you

He knows when you're having a bad day and he's always right there right before you breakdown

All in all, he's literally the perfect boyfriend.

#x reader #fluff #x you #x you fluff #marauders era #james potter x you #james potter x yn #james potter fluff #james potter x reader #marauders x reader #200 followers #👾 anon

[holyshit]

.

#unpopular opinion anon: #sorry i would normally publish but i just don't want to put someone's name on my blog so i hope you understand why i'm answering in the tags #but yes i completely agree! #i think in general it's very odd to send anon hate to anyone.. it's just not necessary #it's not going to change anyone's opinions to get an angry anon in your inbox #but i think some people do it because they take it to heart and take it as a personal attack when someone leaves #when really it shouldn't be viewed that way.. people leave for many different reasons and it shouldn't be taken personally #i can be as annoyed as the next person when someone leaves and then spends their whole time shit talking larries #but arguing with them about it isn't going to change anything #so it's best to just not engage and let people live their lives #and this goes both ways as well.. it's equally as useless and stupid for ex larries to send us rude messages #i ultimately wish people would just leave each other alone lol #asks

[cloudenthusiast2]

I JUST read your headcanons about Scaramouche after learning more abt his backstory and all,I was wondering if u could write more but this time with the concept of 'what if he actually had someone he cherished,someone he loved? Maybe a crush?' I'll send more hc asks abt this if that's alright! I wanna read more abt him but most fanfics abt him are either yandere or very heavy angst,,,which there's nothing wrong with those,I jıst prefer fluff and comfort over those concepts 👉👈

Scaramouche x reader headcanons - After getting to know his past

A.n: This is what I wanted to write initially, it was later that I switched to general headcanons, but I'm glad you reminded me to go back to the original idea. Bold of you to assume I wouldn't go full angst with this one though... But don't worry, I added some fluffy parts just for you, anon:)

Genre: angst and fluff

Warnings: spoilers for the def artifact set

The Balladeer firmly believed that he was unloveable and not able to love either. His only goal in life was to get the gnosis and the power coming with it. He had kind of brainwashed himself into thinking that this is his only purpose

Therefore he denies all the feelings he actually occurs. Doesn’t matter where they’ve come from or what caused them, if they warm him, they must be false

At least that’s what he tells himself hundred times a day after he’s met someone who actually makes his heart beat faster.

When he first set his eyes on you, he thought he had some kind of disease and later visited Dottore to have himself checked. Much to his confusion and annoyance it turned out he was completely alright.

It takes a really long time until he can actually accept he has normal human-like feelings. The more patient you are about this, the sooner he’ll feel comfortable with them

He is a puppet who was thrown away even by its own creator. He is not a human, he just longs to be one even though he's also scared of the same thing

He’s only not capable of loving in his own head. The only thing that's true is that he genuinely doesn’t know how to treat someone he has feelings for

He’s seen couples together before but it’s all very surreal to him. He’s desperate to have a relationship like they do though

So he’ll try in the weirdest ways possible. Actually, he does normal couples things but the way he acts them out makes it incredibly obscure.

Bring you gifts but throws them at your face. Insists that you sit down but doesn’t sit next to you, just stands near you straight like a broomstick the whole time. Picks a flower but instead of giving it to you, he shoves it in your pocket.

Incredibly awkward with physical affection. Try to hold his hand and he’ll pull away his arm immediately. That is actually kind of hurtful, but little did you know he only does that because he’s afraid his skin is too cold for you to touch

He goes through different stages all the time. One day he wakes up carving love and affection, next day he’s numb and crude. It takes a long time until you finally realise it’s not because he wants to hurt you, it’s because he still couldn’t perceive the fact he could be loved

He needs someone who loves him fully but loves him slowly. Let it sink in, let him register and fully understand it

He tries his hardest to be tender with you but he still manages to hurt you sometimes. He usually doesn't even realise, he's just so used to hating everything, hating mortals that the words accidentally slip his mouth

The other Harbingers were really amused by your odd relationship at first. Well, not just at first, they continued to seek entertainment by it even after they've gotten used to seeing you around the Balladeer

Except Signora. She didn't care about anyone outside her status but when she realised what you actually meant to the Balladeer, she didn't laugh at you any more. Your love reminded her of the one she had lost. And even though she couldn't really stand Scaramouche, she made sure to drag you away and tell you everything she knew about him in a dark corner. Then left like nothing had happened and she didn't just help you understand him better.

Except Childe. Scaramouche despised him and the sheznayan fighter loved to annoy his short colleague back. But when he saw how desperately The Balladeer tried to change for the better, he never made fun of your relationship again. Family meant everything to that man. So he made sure to drag Scaramouche away and tell him all of the advices he could think of. Then left like nothing had happened and like he didn't just help him understand humanity better.

A year or two has passed and he is now capable of holding his loved one's hand. He still worries about his cold skin but it's the hundredth time you tell him his cold touch only makes you want to warm him up and he slowly starts to believe it.

A year or two has passed and he doesn't call himself a puppet any more. But he doesn't call himself a human either. He has no idea who he is - the only thing he knows is that he is loved.

A year or two has passed and he still wakes up in cold sweat every night. The tears he used to shed no longer come but he doesn't feel the need to cry any more either. He has someone next to him and that's enough. She's enough.

...Or is she? He is incredibly attached now and has improved a lot. The flowers he picks, he puts in your hair. When he sits next to you, he rests his head on your shoulder. He doesn't accidentally hurt you with cruel words any more and doesn't get annoyed by your foolish mortal habits either. Instead, he lets you hug him, lets you play with his hair, lets you complain about pointless things, lets you sing stupid little songs to him.

But he still has his plans of getting the gnosis. You're the one that actually turned his life around and made him have a heart but he's still torn.

He knows he doesn't really need the gnosis any more but it's hard to let go of an aspiration, especially that it was the only thing that kept him alive for long years.

So he doesn't let go of it. But one thing is certain: if he does decide to betray the fatui and get the gnosis, he is going to do it while still keeping you as his number one priority. At this point he'd rather die than to let you get hurt. And if he does die, then so be it.

But, oh God, just don't let him lose you now that he actually has someone.

#i'm not really comfortable with writing these types of romantic headcanons but i'd be happy to receive ideas for general ones:))) #i just... don't like to go into details and I wont either so please dont except an actual description of a romantic relationship from me #i just wanted to get this off my chest #thank you #thanks for the idea as well and yes id love to have you keep giving me more! #cloudenthusiast #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche angst #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #Scaramouche fluff #kunikuzushi

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons

| requested by anon: can you write headcanons for moriarty brothers meeting and having dinner with s/o's parents for the first time? and s/o's father is overprotective. thanks 🤍🙆🏻 |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader

word count: 1857

tw: mentions of toxic behavior in albert’s hcs

a/n: IM BACK AND THRIVING BBS!!! it’s so good to be back again to writing!!! hhh i’m so sorry if this is far from what you wanted but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!!!! lowkey went off the railings w this one so 👀 also if i missed any tags, please let me know!!!!!

william: 803 words

it had been you and your father since you were younger bc your mom was the “lucky” choice of some noble

but you wouldn’t have it any other way

you two are very close and everyone in the town knows

that, and that you both hate nobles

so it’s no surprise when the moriartys move into town, you’re both less than pleased

you always try your best to avoid them whenever they come into your town and your father always begs his friends to take the nobles as customers, despite the fact it could be good for business

but the town you lived in was particularly small and you did end up bumping into william

literally

some stupid man didn’t see you crossing the road and you were nearly crushed by the carriage if it hadn’t been for the hand that pulled at your wrist

“i swear people these days don’t know how to drive carriages.”

you don’t know who you were expecting

BUT ANYONE BUT A NOBLE

“are you alright?”

“i’m fine thank you—“

you’re absolutely flustered

how did i not know that this was a noble??? he smells so clean!

“i’ve got to be on my way now!” and you left william there with no explanation

but lil did you know he actually knew who you were

or to an extent, you weren’t as sneaky as you’d hoped you’d be

he saw you hiding in corners and alleyways every time you two accidentally made eye contact

and some of the townsfolk actually told him a little about you and your father so he understood why you weren’t too welcoming

but to take great lengths to avoid him??? he is very intrigued

so he starts off small, trying to send you a kind smile before you dart off behind a fruit stall

he really tries his best to get close to you and after a few weeks (and a few persuasive friends), he finally gets to hold a conversation with you

and boy does he fall FAST

it takes a while but you finally reciprocate his feelings and he thinks its smooth sailing from there right???

lmao everyone knows your father is literally the most intimidating looking man that could ever walk the earth

if they didn’t know him personally, they would be afraid of getting curb stomped 🤠

i mean,, he’s a big softie but god forbid anyone even DARES to look at you in a romantic light

you warn william of this and he’s like “don’t worry love, it shouldn’t be too bad”

it is bad

even william has cold hands bc your father is giving him the dirtiest look

dinner isn’t even dinner it’s a grill with how much questions your father is asking him

it does NOT help that he’s a noble

“so,,, you’re a noble”

“your cooking is amazing sir”

your father leaves the table for a little bit and you can hear the quiet sigh of relief from william

“i’m sorry for my father”

“no, no,,, i just,,, your father’s really intimidating, isn’t he?”

you let out a chuckle and william relaxed, a soft smile gracing his lips

“he can be, but it’s just something he does.” you threw a wistful gaze at the door your father disappeared before.

“he’s just worried about you, i can see it. he doesn’t want you around people like me.” you grabbed his hand over the table and he gently squeezed your hand.

“if anything, if he’d give you a chance, he’d want me to be with you. noble or not”

you both continue to have a delightful conversation, your sweet laughs filling the room

however, you didn’t know your father was listening in on your conversation and he couldn’t agree more with william

your mother left with more than just a curt goodbye and unshed tears

she left you with a tear stained letter filled with sorrowful regrets and sincere apologies

he knew you would eventually grow up to be critical of the world and if you were to find out that your mother had left unwillingly, he was afraid that you would be too bitter towards the world

but as he hears your laugh and his worries are dulled down a little

he sees you smiling so happily at william and when he chances a glance at the noble beside you, his worries are completely erased

william’s looking at you the same way everyone swore he looked at your mother

it’s a gentle gaze filled with love and kindness, one that he knew could protect you and take care of you

your father hated nobles and hovered over you when it came to love

but he couldn’t help but hold back on questions when he came back and you instantly noticed that your father took a liking william

louis: 508 words

everyone knew you as “Little Noble” in your town

the sole reason being your father literally treating you like a noble lmao

he gave you the best of everything he could afford and tried his best to not let you do any work

tried

of course, you were a little angel and you HAD to help otherwise you’d cry about making someone else tired when you could’ve easily helped

you’ve carried this trait until your early twenties and there were no signs that you would stop

hence why you were bringing home some fresh fruits from the stall clerk before a man bumps into you

you were so caught off guard that your knee buckled and you fell on your butt

everyone was stunned into silence as you fell but louis was so apologetic

so when he helped you back up, he felt the chilling stares of the town burning into his back

and then you apologize for bumping into him when he was the one who bumped into you and you fell??????

“please, let me make you something! i feel so bad!”

he tries to decline but there was this odd pressure to say yes to you

he ends up going home with you

you’re both in front of the door before your father opens it, his eyes wide

“who is this boy?”

“oh, i didn’t get his name on the way here. what is your name?”

your poor father’s heart is pounding way too fast for his liking

“oh! look at that, thank you so much for bringing my child home! you should be going home now”

he tries to shut the door on louis but you hold it open and beckon louis inside

“i invited him here! i accidentally bumped into him earlier so i offered to make him something!”

louis is so awkward pls

your father reluctantly lets him in but gives him a side eye the whole time he’s in the house

“does your child do this often?”

“why? do you find it strange?”

YOUR FATHER IS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PLEASE SAVE LOUIS

anyways, you finish making your treat and give it to louis, your father glaring at your interaction

louis is still a little stiff but the more you talk to him, his guard is let down a little

soon enough he has to leave and you wish him well

he leaves with a wave and a kind smile and you look over at your father who had been scowling since you appeared at the front door

“he is a bit cute, don’t you think father?”

your father sputters, stunned by your bold claim

“y-you’re still too young to think about men like that!”

you laugh and shut the front door, teasing your poor father about finding love while also wondering if you would meet louis again

as you talk with your father behind closed doors, louis smiles to himself as he thinks about the unusual encounter today

surely, if i met them again tomorrow, it would make for a pleasant day

albert: 546 words

he meets your father before he meets you

it was during a ball your parents organized in order to connect with the more prestigious nobles around you

your parents were obsessed with the way your family was viewed and apparently being an earl wasn’t enough

so albert hears about you when your father boasts about how you’re the perfect child who answered to his every beck and call

in all honesty, albert was disgusted

no one deserved to be brought up like that

he casually makes his way into the conversation and your father is seething

“my child is your age, it’s a shame you act like this, i would have thought of you as a prime husband for them”

who is this earl to tell him what to do?

needless to say your father crosses him off of the guest list for the next ball

days go by and your father doesn’t know that you’re currently in town, doing what you can to help the working class as best as you can

it is on one particular day of visiting an orphanage do you run into the eldest moriarty brother

you two exchange polite greetings and you both pause

“your father is the earl, is he not?”

“you are a general of the army, are you not?”

a brief mention of your father and your mood dulls slightly

“yes, but i’m here on my own accord”

he would kill you if he found out you were amongst the “filth” as he called them

“well, i’ve brought books for the children, would you like to help me read some to them?”

he seemed sincere enough to not want anything more from you, so you agreed

he was actually very pleasant to be around and you find yourself enjoying his company

the meetups continued to happen and soon enough, albert finds himself standing in front of the doors to your family estate

your father is not pleased at all

“it’s nice to meet you again, sir”

“i didn’t forget about what you said to me at our first meeting”

and you’re sitting there like,, ????? they’ve met??? and your father doesn’t like albert???????

of course, inviting albert to your home would have repercussions but you didn’t expect your father to be so hostile

he was always hostile towards other nobles unless they were of higher importance than him

but for him to hate albert so quickly and openly??? this was quite new

you had mentioned that your father has always been one for power so it was clear to albert that you obviously grew up in a home that was more,,, toxic than protective

it was at dinner that this behavior reached its peak and albert despised the atmosphere and the way your father treated you

“i’ve come here to ask for your child’s hand in marriage”

your father rejects the idea without any hesitation

“i refuse to have them live the rest of their life in your household when they could do so much better”

when you invited albert that night, you knew there would be repercussions with your father

but what you didn’t expect was that you would leave your father and adopt the moriarty name as your own, the family welcoming you with open arms

moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #william james moriarty #william james moriarty x reader #louis james moriarty #louis james moriarty x reader

[cozy-the-overlord]

Just One Last Word

Summary: As children, she swore she'd become the greatest author in all of Asgard. Loki had his doubts.

Word Count: 4,360

Pairing: Loki x OFC

A/N: Look who's back! I got this idea from a made-up fic title sent to me by an anon a while back and I just loved the concept so much I had to write it. What can I say? I’m a glutton for childhood romance and angst

Thanks for reading! :)

Warnings: Implied/referenced domestic violence/child abuse

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @the-emo-asgardian

If you want to be tagged, feel free to send an ask/message :)

Read it on Ao3!

The first time Loki heard about Sága’s extraordinary book was the day Lady Gudrun decided that the spring weather was just too lovely to ignore and took her literature students to give them their lessons in the gardens rather than the stuffy palace classrooms. He couldn’t quite recall what year they were—childhood seemed so long ago that all of his primary classes had melted into one amorphous blur—but they had to have been young because Sága hadn’t yet chopped off both her braids in the middle of arithmetic, claiming that they were too heavy to think properly whilst wearing them. No, her braids still hung at her shoulders, and as Lady Gudrun read aloud to them on the lawn, Sága was busy weaving dandelion flowers into their intricate patterns.

“This is going in my book!” she whispered to Loki with a grin. “In my book, all the girls wear dandelions in their hair.”

Loki frowned. “What book?”

“The one I’m writing,” she said, fiddling with another flower stem. “It’s going to be the best book in all of Asgard.”

He had been going to say that there was no way in all the realms she was capable of writing the best book in all of Asgard, but then Lady Gudrun asked them if there was something they wanted to share with the rest of their classmates, since they seemed to be having such an intriguing conversation by themselves, and Loki had shaken his head, blushing. Sága wasn’t bothered. She kept playing with her dandelions and humming softly to herself, some horrifically out of tune melody Loki was almost positive she was just making up as she went along.

Sága Svanhilddottir was a strange girl. One day she had just plopped her bulging crocheted bookbag onto the desk next to his, and she never really went away. There were plenty of whispers about her—her mother was an Asgardian noble who had run away to Alfheim to marry a man in the Elvish court, only to return nine years later with a child in her arms and no husband to be found. At dinner, Loki would overhear the noblewomen’s hushed speculations on what could possessed her to leave in the first place, and what prompted her return. How had the Elf bewitched her so? A love potion? A spell? Had she gotten with child and fled to preserve her dignity? But then why return? Was he unfaithful? Was she unfaithful?

Sága had her own story. She told Loki very seriously before class one day that her mother had come back to Asgard because her father had been turned into a dragon by a wicked witch and now every time he sneezed he spat out enormous balls of fire into the air, and that her mother was afraid that the next time he caught a cold he’d burn the whole apartment down. She pulled down her dress sleeve to show Loki her burn scar, angry red flesh that stretched from her wrist all the way across her shoulders—a scar, she explained, she had gotten when she had tried to give her dragon father a handkerchief.

Loki didn’t believe her.

“Witches don’t turn people into dragons,” he bristled. “My mother’s a witch, and she would never turn anyone into a dragon.”

“That’s because your mother’s a nice witch,” Sága explained impatiently. “This was a mean old witch, with pointy teeth and spiky hair, who hated everybody.” Ruffling her shorn locks (this was after the ill-fated math lesson), she bared her teeth in demonstration. “She was mad at my father because he forgot to bring her mousetail pudding for her birthday like he promised.”

“He—what?”

But Sága only waved him off dismissively. “You’ll have to read my book,” she said. “I explain it all there.”

Oh, that damn book. It seemed like it was the only thing she ever talked about, this stupid, imaginary book. Because it had to be imaginary. Loki had never even seen the girl hold a pen, let alone write a sentence. No, she was too busy prattling on about her wonderous book, this book that would one day become the pinnacle of Asgardian literature.

“Someday, they’ll be making students read my book instead of this nonsense,” she’d whisper to Loki as their teacher read to them in the front of the classroom. “It’ll be much more interesting.”

Or when he ran into her in the library, and she’d drag him to the shelf where they kept all the classics.

“This is where they’ll keep my book!” she’d grin, having the audacity to pat the dusty wood where the great authors of millennia long past rested.

And then there was that one time during one of the feasts, when he turned around to find her staring at him intently from across the ballroom, a studious expression on her face. He shot what he hoped was an intimidating glare at her, but she only skipped across the room to join him.

“What are you doing?” he asked sourly.

“Looking at you,” she said, grinning as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I need to remember how you look like, so I can put you in my book.”

Loki scowled. “I don’t want to be in your book.”

“Well, I want you in it,” Sága retorted. “And, since I’m the author, that’s all that matters.” She grabbed his hand and began pulling him towards the dessert table. “Come on, Prince Loki. Let’s get some cake!”

Thor said that he must be harboring a crush on her, to seemingly hate her so and yet be constantly spending time with her. Loki nearly threw a fit when he accused him of such at the dinner table. He didn’t like Sága. She was strange and irritating and talked far too much and he wanted her to go away. He spent time with her because she followed him around, not because he wanted to! She was annoying. And weird. And …

And yet.

One day she wasn’t in class. Loki thought he’d be relieved—finally, a lesson where he could listen to the teacher without having to filter out her constant chatter. But … it didn’t feel right. It was too quiet—he hated the empty stretches of silence that hung over the classroom every time Lady Gudrun stopped talking. For some reason, it seemed even more difficult to focus without the familiar presence of his deskmate hunched over the table and picking splinters out of the wood with her fingernail.

The library was more of the same. Loki perused the shelves, gaze lingering on the spot Sága had claimed for her own. She was the only person he really talked to, he realized. Without her, the day felt hollow.

She was gone for the rest of the week. Her mother was gone too, and rumors began to fly that she had decided to take her daughter back to Alfheim to rejoin her mysterious husband. Loki couldn’t help but remember her story about her father the dragon.

Just when he was starting to fear she had left for good, one morning a ratty old crotched bag smacked the desk next to his before class started.

He scowled to mask his sigh of relief. “Where have you been?”

But Sága wouldn’t say. She only grinned at him from under her crown of dandelions. “I was working on my book. Why?” she asked. “Did you miss me, Prince Loki?”

Loki flushed bright red.

It was strange to think about now, with everything that had happened. At the time, Loki thought he would have fallen on his sword before he ever referred to Sága as a friend. And yet, she was not only a friend, but the closest one he had. She continued finding ways to spend time with him even after they graduated Lady Gudrun’s class—she’d track him down and ask him for help with her arithmetic, or to wish him luck on an upcoming test, or to tell him about a book she thought he’d like. Thor and his companions drove Loki up the wall with their merciless teasing, but their words couldn’t quell the odd sort of fluttering in his stomach every time she came running up to him clutching some new story against her chest.

“Is it your book?” he’d ask jokingly, even as he took the novel from her hands.

“No,” she laughed. “I’m still working on that.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you now?”

Sága patted his shoulder, still grinning. “Don’t worry,” she said. “When I’m done, you’ll be the first to read it.”

She was pretty. Loki wasn’t quite certain when that happened. Sága didn’t really change all that much, even as everyone else grew and morphed into something resembling maturity. She continued cutting her own hair, keeping it messy and uneven and even shorter than his. She’d weave dandelion stalks into the shorn clumps and walk around in gauzy yellow dresses with cuffed sleeves that went past her fingers, looking like one of her fairy-story creatures come to life. It was generally accepted that she looked ridiculous, and Loki didn’t disagree. He just felt that she made ridiculous look good.

He noticed it when she came down to the sparring pit to watch him practice with his daggers. There she was, perched on the railing, beaming like the sun as she waved at him. She was pretty. Very pretty.

Loki turned around without waving back. There was a heat rising in his cheeks that he wasn’t quite sure how to address. He missed the target completely on his next throw.

He wasn’t the only person who noticed. The other boys his age were beginning to be quite drawn to Sága Svanhilddottir as well, although Loki suspected it was less due to actual interest and more because of her proclivity for disregarding traditional decorum. She loved to dance. It seemed every ball she was spinning across the floor in the arms of some new beau, giggling so loudly that her voice echoed down the hall. Loki hated the way they’d hold her, gripping her tightly to their bodies as if she belonged to them, but Sága didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it. She’d laugh and whoop and make a show of it as they twirled through the song.

It might have made her popular with the young men, but older members of the court weren’t as amused. After all, such displays weren’t exactly becoming of an unmarried woman. But Sága didn’t mind that they whispered things like “promiscuous” and “loose” as she walked by. Unlike her fellow ladies, Sága wasn’t particularly interested in catching a husband. In fact, she once told Loki in no uncertain terms that she had no intentions of ever giving her hand in marriage.

“Marriage is horrible,” she said. Loki could barely hear her over the ruckus—it was Thor’s Nameday Feast, and such a raucous celebration was hardly ideal for intimate conversation. He thought Sága might have been enjoying the festivities a bit too much as well—she was swaying on her feet as she leaned in to speak. “You’re tied down forever to some person, and you don’t even know what they’re going to be like! Sure, they might seem nice, but who knows!” She hiccupped, and Loki found himself reaching out to steady her without realizing he was doing it, accidentally grabbing the shoulder he knew to be scarred under her sleeve.

Sága brushed him off. There was a bitterness in her eyes that made his chest ache. “I don’t want to get married,” she said. “I just want to have fun.”

He walked her back to her rooms that night. He had started doing that recently—partially because with the way she was staggering he didn’t trust her to be able to make it herself, and partially because the voracious looks some of her dance partners had been giving her were making the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up.

Sága grinned at him when they made it back to her door. The dandelions in her hair were beginning to wilt. One was nearly falling off her head, held there only by a tangled strand.

“Are you going to kiss me, Prince Loki?” she asked.

Loki started. All at once, the fluttering was back. “What?”

“You’re my prince, aren’t you?” She was swaying quite a bit, but she didn’t look away. Her breath stank of wine. “Aren’t you supposed to kiss the lady goodnight?” She leaned forward as if meaning to demonstrate, but ended up falling right into his chest, giggling all the way. Loki caught her, hoping she couldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating.

My prince.

“I—I don’t think it would be very princely of me to kiss you right now,” he whispered.

“Maybe not,” she yawned against his armor. “But I’d like it anyways.”

Loki inhaled. I’d like it too. But she was drunk, practically incoherent—she didn’t mean any of the words coming out of her mouth right now, and he knew it.

And so, he helped her back up and through the doorway. “Not tonight.”

Sága perked up. “Tomorrow?”

She looked so childishly excited that Loki couldn’t hold back his chuckle. “Sure. Tomorrow.” Maybe he had had too much wine as well, because the thought of such a silly promise exhilarated him far more than it should have. “You come find me and I’ll kiss you.”

They never spoke about that night again. Sága didn’t seem to remember it—when he ran into her the next day she was nursing a headache and a new idea for her book and wanted to ask him a question about the mechanics of water seidr. Loki didn’t mention it either. The whole thing felt much sillier doused in daylight. What, did he think she was just going to knock on his door and cash in a kiss like a raffle ticket? No, it was better that the whole thing just fade into obscurity. Loki told himself he was relieved that Sága didn’t remember his promise.

It didn’t stop his thoughts from racing every time he saw her.

What would it be like to kiss her, he wondered? Would she let him pull her close? Would she wrap her arms around his neck and run her fingers through his hair? How would it feel to press his lips to hers, to close his eyes and just drink her in as if she were the only thing that existed?

He wished he could find out.

Loki remembered the last time he saw her. Her father had passed away, and she and her mother were returning to Alfheim for his funeral and to clear up several issues regarding his estate. They weren’t sure how long they’d be gone, but Sága predicted that the legal affairs would take years to resolve.

“Is it bad that I don’t want to go?” she asked in a whisper the night before she was set to leave. Loki looked at her, huddled against the balcony railing besides him. Inside, the feast raged on, but in the moonlight the world seemed almost tranquil.

“I don’t think it’s bad,” he said slowly. “Funerals aren’t exactly joyful occasions. I doubt anyone ever wants to go to them.”

She was silent for a moment, staring across the gardens spread beneath them. “I was happy when they told me he was dead,” she said finally, voice hoarse. “That’s bad, isn’t it? You’re not supposed to be happy because your father’s dead.”

Loki wasn’t sure what to say to that. He didn’t know much about Sága’s father—she almost never spoke of him, and Loki never asked—but he never could quite forget the stories she would tell when they were children, about witches and dragons and violent, fiery breath.

He inhaled. “I don’t think that’s bad either.” A part of him wanted to reach out and squeeze her hand, but he wasn’t sure if that was right. “If he was a good father, you’d feel differently. But he wasn’t, and you don’t. That’s all there is to it.”

Sága only nodded.

The next morning was less somber. When Sága came to say goodbye, she seemed her normal, airy self, bouncing and bubbling over every small detail.

“Hopefully, by the time I’m back, I’ll have my book done!” she beamed. “And I’ll bring it back for you to read!”

“Well, in that case, I’ll be counting the seconds,” he drawled. Sága laughed, and he found himself gazing into her eyes. They were lovely, those eyes—warm, like liquid amber, brown and sparkling with mirth. He had never really stopped to think about it before, but she had to have the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

Perhaps he was staring too intently, because Sága had stopped laughing. Loki felt his cheeks flush. He was about to apologize when she threw her arms around his shoulders.

He was so thrown off by the embrace that he couldn’t really comprehend what had happened until after she had let go. It was a quick hug, spur of the moment and over as soon as it began. It meant nothing.

Still there was something in the air as Sága pulled away, something he didn’t think either of them had the capability to describe. She patted his shoulder, nodding as if in agreement with something neither of them had said.

“Goodbye, Prince Loki,” she said thickly.

He nodded too. “Goodbye, Sága.”

It was the last time he saw her.

Loki stared at the book on the table. He had told his mother that he didn’t want any more books—he was beginning to feel less like a person and more like a pity case with each shipment she sent in.

Enough with it! Just let me rot in peace.

And she had agreed. The flood of books had ceased.

Except for this one.

He hadn’t heard them come in to drop it off, which was concerning. Loki had always been a light sleeper, and that had increased a hundredfold by the time he had returned to Asgard. He wondered if they were drugging him.

The book itself was crisp and clean—freshly bound. He always used to like those books as a child, so new that the spine let out a satisfying crack as he opened them for the first time. Now, he was almost afraid to touch it.

The mossy green cover was unassuming. No artwork, no patterns, just the title and author in simple gold lettering.

Dandelion

Sága Svanhilddottir

Loki didn’t know how long he stared at it. The dungeons made it hard to keep track of time in general, but in that moment it felt as if everything around him ceased to exist. He couldn’t tear his eyes from it.

Damn. She actually did it.

Sága … when was the last time he thought of Sága? She seemed to exist in a different lifetime, a character in a story that had long since been shelved. He remembered her, though—a scrawny little girl on the grass, weaving yellow flowers through her braids.

In my book, all the girls wear dandelions in their hair.

He picked it up. It wasn’t particularly heavy, nor particularly thick—certainly nothing like the texts of old she had once proclaimed herself equal to. It appeared quite average, really. Maybe he wouldn’t read it. The whole thing was birthed out of a childish fancy, and he no longer held any appreciation for fairy-stories.

But who was he kidding?

The story was about a girl named Dandelion (Loki groaned aloud upon reading it, although such puerility was to be expected from an author who went about her days with weeds dangling from her hair) who lived with her mother and her beast of  a father off in some nonexistent realm, far away from Asgard. While her father had not the form of a dragon, he certainly had the temperament. He spent the days raging about their household, ranting and raving at every little inconvenience until he’d worked himself up into a violent frenzy.

Her mother didn’t know what to do. She was alone in a strange land, having forfeited her freedom to irrevocably tie herself to this monster of a man. She had nowhere to go, no family to turn to. And so she grit her teeth and took the beatings and the curses and prayed for a miracle.

Of course, little Dandelion was too young to understand this. She didn’t know why her mother cried herself to sleep at night, nor could she comprehend the foulness of the words that her father spat into the air. She had never known anything else. And so, every night she sat upon her father’s knee as he brushed out and braided her long, silky hair and read aloud to her from his rotted old storybook. Dandelion loved those stories, of monstrous dragons and evil witches who feasted on rats and tarantulas, fair maidens locked away in towers and dashing princes fighting their way through bramble-choked woods to awaken them with a kiss.

She’d dream about those stories as she lay in bed, writing her own in her head to drown out the crashes and cries ricocheting off the walls on the floor below her. In her mind’s eye, Dandelion could see herself as the maiden, nose pressed against the window as she waited for her prince to scale her tower and carry her to safety.

He never came.

But she was not long for this way of life. One night, during dinner, her father in a fit of anger overturned the candle on the tablecloth. The fabric went up in flames. They spread fast across the table and caught on Dandelion’s cuff, setting her sleeve ablaze. She survived—her father was quick to come to his senses and douse the flames—but her arm was badly burned. It was at that moment that her mother had had enough. She took her daughter and ran for it.

After a long struggle to secure the funds they needed, they were able to book passage back to her mother’s home realm. There, they found sanctuary.

She found something else there too. There, sitting in the very back row of the classroom with his head hidden behind a book, was a real, living, breathing prince. Dandelion was entranced—she had always thought princes to be some mythical creature that existed only within the pages of storybook. And yet, here was one right in front of her, like the most normal thing in the world. He didn’t seem very princely. He just seemed like a boy, a quiet boy who preferred reading to conversation. Dandelion would have never known him to be anything else if her mother hadn’t pointed him out to her.

But she was curious, and so when given the opportunity to choose her spot, she sat down next to him. He was a strange prince. He’d argue with her about the stories she told, but that only meant he was listening to her. He’d say he didn’t want to see her when she bumped into him outside of class, but he’d still follow her down the hall when she turned to leave. He didn’t strike her as the dragon-slaying tower-scaling type, but that was okay. Dandelion liked him just the way he was.

The story went on. Dandelion grew up to the whooshing of letters slipped under the door—her dragon father, asking her mother to come back, to come home, promising that he was different and everything would be all right. There were times when her mother seemed almost swayed by his sweet words—she’d sigh and say that it would be nice to see their family safe and back together again and stare off into the distance as if remembering something other than the screaming or the fighting or the burning, as if she had forgotten the way Dandelion would wake screaming in the night convinced she could smell her flesh burning. It sent cold shivers down Dandelion’s spine. She began tossing the letters into the fire before her mother had the chance to read them.

She’d turn to her prince for comfort. He didn’t know about the letters, but somehow, he made her feel better all the same. He was light and safe and everything she needed—she always seemed to be laughing when she was with him. And when he laughed—something about that laugh made Dandelion’s chest feel awash with a lovely sort of warmth.

She was in love with him.

But Dandelion didn’t say anything about that. She knew he only saw her as a friend—a silly, trivial friend who he could tease and laugh with without having to concern himself with the solemnity of his station. If he knew how she felt … she could lose him entirely. Dandelion couldn’t face such a prospect.

Instead, she danced with everyone but her prince, drowned herself in wine and spent her nights in the arms of any faceless man who wanted her, all in some vain attempt to sway her feelings in another direction. It only made things worse.

But life went on. Another letter came in from the realm of her birth, written in a different hand than usual. Her father had passed in his sleep, it explained. At long last, the dragon had been defeated. Dandelion was to return home immediately. And so, she bid her prince a friendly farewell.

The fallout of her father’s death was horrifically complicated. She was his legal heir, but she had also spent a majority of her life estranged from him and she found his representatives unwilling to hand over control of his estate to her. It was years before she could come back. And when she did—

Loki couldn’t bring himself to finish it. He knew very well what “Dandelion” found when she returned to Asgard—or more aptly, what she didn’t find.

You’re my prince, aren’t you?

He wished he had kissed her.

#loki marvel #loki fanfic #loki x ofc #just one last word #cozy writes

[theravenclawrevolutionary]

i'm not a frev expert. and you seem to be approchable enough and to have read enough. i had a question, or kind of a question. i just. i think that if robespierre wasn't against all the deaths by guillotine, he wouldn't have written that quote about virtue and terror. maybe i'm getting you wrong, or i'm not understanding the sense of that quote. could you explain?

Oh dang. I'm kinda surprised that people think I have any real authority on the subject of the Frev since I'm not an actual historian or anything and I'm surprised people find me approachable but of course I'll try my best for you Anon! And if anyone else has a better interpretation or anything else to add please, go ahead. I'll also try my best to keep it in as simple language as I can. But I digress.

⚠ This post is quite long so be prepared for that ⚠

First of all, Robespierre has more than one quote talking about terror and virtue. I'm assuming that you're thinking of the one that goes, "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." since that is the most common one. However, if you're talking about the one that goes "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." Let me know and I'll write about that one. The former is definitely a quote that, in my experience studying the Frev, gets misinterpreted from what it was originally meant to say fairly often.

To start with, it's very important to know what connotation and definition the words 'virtue' and 'terror' had in revolution-era France. Modern-day definitions may not be the same ones that were used in the past. According to my research, which of course isn't infallible, virtue was used to refer to someone's disposition and the way it would lead them to choose good over evil whereas where terror was seen simply as great fear. At the time there was no connotation of our modern-day terrorism to associate with the word. Nowadays we associate terror with terrorism which brings to mind murder, mindless destruction, oppression, and unchecked authority in which someone's ideals are forced upon large groups of people. Because of this many people assume that this is what Robespierre had in mind when he referenced terror when really he meant to describe the use of intimidation tactics to seize power from those who oppressed the lower class people and the general fear that was felt by the commoners.

Essentially the Reign of Terror meant 'a time period where everyone felt a sh*t load of Fear over all the bad stuff happening at once while the regular people try to overthrow the oppressive ruling class with intimidation tactics.' It does not mean 'a time period where loads of people were purposely committing widespread acts of terrorism to push their agendas'. And really, it was the only way to give everyone the chance to get rid of the old government, the monarchy, and allow a fair democracy that would be beneficial to the future of France to be built.

Next, it's important to know the context in which this quote was originally said. The speech where Robespierre said it took place on Feb 5th (?) of 1794. By this point, the revolution has been well underway for several long years and, as I said, a lot of sucky things are happening at the same time. The republic was in a war with a massive part of Europe and they're kinda getting curb-stomped. The country is in a state of civil war between the people that still supported the monarchy and all the different groups that had different views of how the country should be run. France's economy was complete sh*t too, so all this really radicalized the people and made the whole revolution situation so much worse than it already was.

At the time there were two factions, so to say, in the National Convention that were hella pissed at each other and really at odds. the Hébertists (who, to make things easy, wanted to escalate the Terror, go on the offensive with the military, and the overthrow and replace some of the existing government structures at the time) and the Dantonists (who wanted to sorta get rid of the revolutionary government, negotiate for peace in the war, and chill out on the whole Terror thing). And remember that these groups of people were very loose and like people in today's politic didn't agree with every stance their 'faction' took.

By the time Max made this speech, which was addressing these two groups, the situation between them was escalated big time. The Hébertists, with their views of 'more terror all over! That'll help us win everything,' or 'terror without virtue,' were pushing for a system that would quickly prove fatal. By contrast, the Dantonists with their, 'we just need to kinda chill and things will work out,' way of thinking or 'virtue without terror', would only lead to them (and the rest of the country) getting walked over by everyone else.

Throughout the entire speech, a speech I haven't recently read all the way through, Max comes back to the idea of terror and virtue, stressing that both are necessary. What I think he meant to do was talk about how the revolution couldn't survive without both terror (fear and the aggression that causes it) and virtue (the choice of good over evil) being applied. He's trying to explain to both groups that a little bit of both ideals is the most beneficial way to go about things. In reality, it has nothing to do with whether he personally believed in or advocated the death penalty/ the use of the guillotine. Instead, Robespierre is emphasizing that at that particular moment in time doing what is right and good (virtue) will most likely end up causing some bad things that will make people afraid for a while (terror).

What Robespierre is not saying is that terror, and by extension the violence that is causing the terror is virtuous. There are several easy-to-find sources that prove his personal disapproval of the death penalty from a moral standpoint. As a young lawyer in his hometown in Arras, he became physically ill at the idea of having one of his clients sentenced to death, even though he was found guilty of the crime he was on trial for. He made a speech agreeing with the abolition of the death penalty on May 30th of 1791 (?) arguing that there is no place for the death penalty in a civilized society because the law needs to be a model of what is good. He attempted to save the lives of Georges Danton and Camille Desmoulins, two friends/coworkers that he is commonly charged with sending to their deaths when the opposite is actually true. Additionally, he did the same with other more controversial people including the king's sister of all people, Madame Elisabeth. Even when voting for the death of the king he reiterates his own opinion on the death penalty saying, "For myself, I abhor the penalty of death that your law so liberally imposes, and I have neither love nor hatred for the King; it is only the crimes that I hate…. It is with regret that I utter this baneful truth…Louis must die in order that our country may live." Though it conflicts with his personal views, Robespierre makes the decision based on the needs of France as a country, something that many politicians need to relearn how to do today.

Long story short, he was not supporting the use of the guillotine with that quote, but rather trying to get two opposing factions to realize that both intimidation/fear and making sound, beneficial decisions would keep France on the right track to building a successful democracy for the people. Hopefully this helped and I explained it in a way that was easy for you to understand. If you ever have any more Frev related questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer or I'll send you in the direction of someone else more knowledgeable if I don't know.

Also, can someone tell me if I did a good job of explaining this? I can never tell if things I write about the Frev make sense to me because I actually know exactly what I mean to say so everyone else kinda goes along with it or if I actually say helpful things of substance. Thanks guys! And if anyone else knows more about the subject or if I've made a mistake please help me out.

~Dara

#french revolution #robespierre #frev #maximilien robespierre #history #history facts #historical quotes #politics #my idiot explanations #idk if i worded this right #or if i even explained it right #i hope i helped though

[muffinrecord]

How many of your followers are male pedophiles who only retweet the fetishized/swimsuit outfits?

Okay so like... I'm going to use this message real quick to talk about something serious. I think this anon is actually mentally unwell.

I don't use that in the way the internet typically does, which is "you are doing something I don't like, which means you have a mental illness." I don't mean this as a mean joke. I mean this sincerely and with some concern.

This anon has been at this for a long time, and even before Magia Record was actually going. I remember them bitching about Sleepless Domain on reddit before (and I think they still do!) and they always stick with the same ideas: that the only reason anyone is interested in darker magical girl content (even when written by women) is because they're male pedophiles getting off of girl's suffering. They'll write other things too, like how the genre is "proving that little girls have no value beyond suffering" or "the only way a girl is worth something is if she suffers/dies/provides something for men." But in general, this is what it revolves around.

You can always tell that who the anon is because of this. They don't change tactics. They don't ask different things. They always assume that fans are male pedophiles or that you like the series because there is something wrong with you. They don't change from this script.

I can't diagnose someone over the internet-- for one, I'm not a doctor and two it's over the internet. You can't understand someone from the little bit that they show you online.

However, a lot of what this anon does strikes me as very black-and-white thinking, they are absolutely obsessive about certain topics, and they have really odd reactions. I've gotten angry at them twice now and insulted them directly and they've... never actually responded to it. They'll respond to a small portion of the argument, but they never actually address the fact that I insulted them. I find this kind of off-putting, and I'm starting to think that there is more going on here besides a hobby of hating dark magical girl genres and their fans.

It might be because I had to get mental help, to the point of being hospitalized, but this anon is making me wonder if something is going on there too.

Because think about this logically for a second-- this anon is trying to argue that most of my followers are pedophiles and are following me because... once year-ish, I post characters practically t-posing in swimsuit image compilations, as part of costume sets? They're calling girls standing around and wearing swimsuits fetish content. This is their argument.

Maybe you think they're just being a troll, but I don't think that's the case.

There are so many other things you can bitch about for Magia Record. For example, Akari Mai has a horrendous design (which I complained about on this blog!) but this anon has never so much as mentioned her, or characters like Himika, Leila, or Kokoro. This anon never talks about Iroyachi or any other hot-button topic that is sure to get people talking. They always complain about things that don't actually matter or are easily disproven.

They follow the blog enough to know that I'm posting costume sets, but they don't follow it enough to know what makes the fandom upset? Like I said, I don't think this is a troll.

So again-- I do genuinely think that something is going on with this person mentally upstairs. I say this with no malice, because I also have problems with my brain that cause me to act and talk in ways that are off-putting.

Anyways, I'm saying all of this because I've seen people accuse anon of being a terf or an "anti" (whatever the fuck that is) or whatever, and I think the answer is just that this person is mentally unwell.

I decided I would no longer respond to this person because I don't want to get angry or insult or belittle a human who is struggling with issues and not doing this because of actual malice. However, I don't think that's working. I'm still getting messages from them once in a while. They're still getting something out of sending me stuff like this.

So....

I'm going to be turning off the anonymous function of my ask box permanently. I apologize because I know a lot of people prefer to use anon (I do too), but I feel like I'm feeding this person and their issues by keeping it up.

Anyways, I'm writing all of this publicly because they'll probably target someone else if I close myself off. Hell, I know I'm not the only one they target already. So, if this person starts to contact you, please know it's not actually about you. They're not actually doing this because you've done anything. They would do this to anyone.

And don't get mad at them or insult them like I have. It doesn't actually do anything to fix the problem, and it's possible it could make their thoughts worse. We're not responsible for why this person is acting this way, but it doesn't mean we should bully them or let them bully us.

So-- anon, I'm sorry for not realizing what was going on sooner, and I'm sorry for insulting you. I had to get help too. A few years ago, I was in a mental hospital for a week and that is one of the reasons I'm alive today. I hope you can get help for yourself, because this is an awful way to live.

#Muffin Record #Ask Muffin #Long Post #I've debated talking about this publicly #I don't like theorizing about someone's mental health #But I think it would be the wrong thing to not talk about it #I'm open to criticism on this

[nebulousfishgills]

My thoughts on the finale (long post)

Okay, I really just wanna put some thoughts down and I need to do it here. Spoilers and opinions, you can choose to agree or not, but please be respectful

I usually try to have a good attitude about things, pointing out the best in everything.

I'm having a really hard time right now.

That's not to say the episode was bad, it's just...

Well, I feel like I'm watching the Game of Thrones finale again. I just feel so unfulfilled. Then again, my hormones are a little out of wack at the moment (thanks mother nature) so my odd feelings could be because of that. I feel so angry and upset and hyped and... I don't honestly know. I really don't. I feel like I want to throw up, but not in a bad or good way.

I guess I just...

Feel.

I've stayed up every night for every episode because I just adored it so much. Yet I feel like... there should be more. I know we got a second season confirmed, but we don't know when. We don't know what it means for the future of the MCU. We don't know anything.

I guess we should have expected this because Loki was supposed to be this new horizon for the MCU. Doctor Strange 2 needed a plot. Someone said this show was just a big ad for MoM, and I find myself disagreeing with that, but only a little.

I think the best way to describe it is it's like the show suddenly decided it wanted to be something else. It's not a bad thing necessarily, but after episode 3, the tone really shifted.

I'm trying really hard to hold off on my more detailed thoughts, but they just keep creeping in, so I'll just wrap up this... intro? Idk.

I think the TLDR is that I feel disappointed, but I don't really blame anyone. Kate Herron, Mike Waldron, they all did AMAZING jobs. They really deserve the highest of praise for this. Is it my favorite MCU project? Yes. Am I excited for season 2? Absolutely.

But Game of Thrones can still be my favorite show and I can still dislike the ending.

I find writing this out is helping me feel better. Once I sleep it'll probably feel less... hopeless.

Now, next section. My thoughts on key plot points.

We all figured Kang would be introduced. I'm actually very excited to see what they do with him. The actor was just phenomenal and I can't wait to see him later on. Someone call up Erik Voss because he redeemed himself after the whole Mephisto deal

I guess the Multiverse was reborn, but not in the way I was expecting/hoping. I feel like there's a large gap between when the timeline shattered and the final scene with Loki, Mobius, and B-15. What happened? Though, I guess it makes sense. We all wanted a multiverse. We never considered the consequences.

I'm angriest about Mobius losing his memories and not getting his jetski. Like I said, Yelena can get a dog in BW after mentioning it once. But as someone on Reddit pointed out, they had to make sure Marvel would greenlight a second season. It does not mean I can't have a huge cow about it. That's what we get for jinxing it, friends.

I think I understand what Star Wars Sequel haters went through. Getting all these grand (maybe... glorious?) ideas about the ending and what a hopeful message about destiny and identity the series could give us. And the series gave us... none of that. Hell, I was so sure these would be used, and I was bamboozled. I'm sure others saw it coming, but they just looked too good to be fake out shots. My best guess is that they're gonna use this footage in season 2 for a plotline and they stuck it in here to trick us... but maybe that's just me being desperate

It was barely 1 AM here, Marvel. The Miss Minutes jumpscare was NOT COOL. I mean, THIS IS HORRIFYING IN LIGHT AS WELL

I'm really confused about Ravonna now. Is she good or is she bad? Where did she go? And why was it important we see her backstory and not any of the others (say, B-15 or Mobius)?

God, okay, I guess I have to address the elephant in the room now.

The Sylki kiss and then betrayal fight thing.

Let me get one thing very extremely clear before I continue: I do prefer Lokius, but I am FINE with Sylki. I think I've just been desensitized to any ship that ends with -cest because, as I've made clear here and in the past, I adore Game of Thrones and Crimson Peak.

I honestly think my main reservation about it is a flaw within myself that I dared not admit until I saw it staring me in the face: I'm probably a little possessive. I can admit this and I really dislike it about myself. But I think I'm just not a fan of Loki having a love interest in general. What makes Lokius different, I have no clue. Maybe deep down I knew Marvel was too much of a pussy to ever make it canon... then again, I was begging for a last minute kiss or something. My feelings on the matter are complicated.

But the way they handled the kiss in this episode? Gotta say, not too much of a fan. I know some antis like this, but it just felt too... not genuine. Maybe I'm just an idiot who thinks all kissing should have a meaning. A purpose. The Reylo kiss in Rise of Skywalker? Ben just saved Rey's fucking life, I think that warrants a large gesture of affection.

But this?

I think I get bad juju from the kiss, not the fact that they made it Canon. You can disagree or agree any way you want, you can even send nasty anon messages. That's my opinion and I'm choosing to stick to it.

And sending nasty anons won't do squat, I don't give a shit about faceless threats and hate.

Anyways, back to my point

The fight felt like a mutual betrayal, but at the same time it felt like neither really wanted to go through with it. I admit I felt Sylvie was more in the right and that Loki seemed a little too complacent, especially after everything he went through and saw. But like Sylvie, I didn't consider the consequences and now everything is fucked. But I still don't think Loki was right.

I think it boils down to being an impossible choice because no matter what you pick, everyone loses.

I believe that my main gripe with Sylvie and Loki's ideology split is that it feels a little too rushed and/or, dare I say it, out of character. I've agreed with Loki's characterization up until this point (again, you can disagree with me, that's your opinion and you have full right to it), but... man, I don't know. It all feels like an impossible situation.

Then again, I'm not the one in the director's chair. I'm not the team in the writers room. I don't know the first thing about making a project like this. I like taking solace in the fact that Tom had some creative control in the series about the character he loves so much. And, let's be real, he knows Loki the best out of all of us. None of us can hold a candle to that.

We can call ourselves experts, but Tom is the real expert. I trust him more than anyone. If he hated how this was turning out, he probably would have said something.

We just have to trust in the creative process

So, at the end of the day, this series was (and still is, remember, season 2 is on the way) absolutely phenomenal and I think it's Marvel's strongest work in a very long time. They know Loki is a character we all love and adore and I feel like they've done their best in honoring that. Besides, what other character is getting a second season? How awesome is that??

I found writing this out helped me process my thoughts and emotions IMMENSELY. I don't feel as... angry? Hopeless? I don't know. I keep comparing this to the end of Game of Thrones, and I feel like that's doing a disservice to Loki. Game of Thrones' ending was just absolute dog shit and there was no chance to redeem it because it was the last season.

Loki has a second season on the way.

It's not over yet.

Nothing is ever final until the universe forces it.

Kang can be stopped

The Multiverse can roam free

Loki can learn to find true happiness

Sylvie can stop running and fighting

Ravonna can redeem herself

The TVA can burn or reform (whichever you choose)

And yes

Mobius can get a jetski

We know nothing yet of season 2, what it will entail, how it connects to the rest of the Marvel Universe, or even when it will be out. But I know that I will eagerly await it when that day comes. I will once again put on a smile. I will wait hours to watch the new episode the moment it drops. I will be excited for it and enjoy it.

Because, at the end of the day, that's all it's about. Telling a story. And, mother of God, Marvel sure is telling a good one.

Until next time, my friends.

For All Time. Always!

-FishGills

#feel free to come into my ask box and discuss with me! #this was really therapudic #fishgills thoughts #fandom wank #fandom discourse #fandom wars are stupid why can't we all just appreciate the visuals #for real the visual effects department KILLED IT #the true heroes of the MCU #marvel #movies #avengers #loki #disney plus #disney + #loki series #tom hiddleston #loki series spoilers #loki spoilers #loki series season finale #loki finale spoilers #lokius #sylki

[rinisbowen]

Hey, first just wanted to say that I love your blog and your analysis of the show so much! ❤

I was wondering if you had an opinion about Ricky's feelings towards Gina: do you think he knew what she meant in the flashback scene or do you think it all went over his head?

I think alot of people want Ricky to remain oblivious ,so that it can't be said that he deliberately hurt Gina, but I think it would make a much more nuanced and interesting plot if he understood how she felt the whole time, but had no idea how to handle these feelings (especially if he correctly assumed that she never would have confessed to him if she thought she might ever see him again.)

I think alot of his behaviour towards her in season 2 could be read as him trying wayy too hard to imitate the dynamic they had in season 1 to avoid having to talk about the new developments in their relationship (e.g. with all the awkward banter in season 2 episode 3.)

Only thing is I have no way to fit the "if we were dating" comment into this narrative. If he had any inkling of how she felt then that comment was way out of line and would make me dislike Ricky, but based on the rest of the season as a whole I can't think of any explanation for the way he acted towards her other than that he was aware of how she felt.

Hope this ask makes sense, feel like it got a bit rambly! 😊

hi oh my gosh anon you are genuinely the sweetest. thank you for your kind words, and the ask itself. i feel like i'm in an odd place with my thoughts bc things are quite polarized in this fandom and i- sorta try not to be? but i'm thankful you appreciate my thoughts and such :)

(also yes you absolutely made sense, luckily my brain works in a very rambly way- so i think i do get what you mean haha. y'all should see the state of these answers before i cut them down.)

--

if you're asking just whether i have an opinion as to whether ricky took gina's confession for what it was- i'm really not sure what i think here.

i 100% understand why ricky not understanding what gina meant by "i wouldn't quit on us" is very appealing to rina shippers especially, along with people who just tend to see the good in ricky as a character. people probably ought to start giving all of these kids the benefit of the doubt a little bit more haha, but that's just me. 

--

i don’t know if it all necessarily went over his head, but i think it’s not a bad guess considering his history of being more than a bit oblivious to things in a more general sense. 

i think your idea is really quite interesting, because it doesn’t seem out of line 100% with anything that happened. him trying to protect her from the fallout of something she probably wasn’t planning to do under the circumstances. him internally deciding it was better to just pretend it never happened because he figured that was better for gina. 

and besides, he loves nini, he just got back together with her, so it’s no big deal for him, no sweat off his back. 

i think regardless of whether he understood her confession he didn’t mean to deliberately hurt her, and i don’t think that should be as much of a hot take as it maybe is. 

i think in this context you suggest, ricky’s maybe confused about how he’s supposed to behave with her, like you say about ‘awkward’, because it’s on some levels true that their “friendship” in season 1 was tinged with something beyond that, and how do you not send your friend the wrong message when you very much have a girlfriend but also your friend apparently likes you. but i do think the same behavior can be explained under the “he didn’t get it” circumstance, i’ll just save that for now to avoid this getting too long.

--

i know the “if we were dating” is what gets him the most negative energy. i get why, it’s a downright stupid way to phrase it to a girl who likes him. particularly if he’s aware she likes him. 

but does it have to make you (or anyone) dislike him? 

i really don’t think it was that serious for him that it’s worth hating him for. to gina? yes, it’s what allows her the opportunity to set a boundary with him for the first time. that’s a big deal for her character arc! this sorta comes back to a point i make at the end of this post about the rina thing in season 2 not being about ricky. it doesn’t actually matter what he means or what he feels. 

but in a broader context, it’s a mere slip of the tongue. ricky’s just trying to ask her advice on something he’s puzzling over, and he’s using an example. like- he’s not trying to imply a single thing by his words there, as is clear by his little “obviously”. it’s obvious that ricky here is just thinking out loud, he’s just like so put yourself in nini’s shoes. “if we were dating”. for all he knows she’s totally fine giving him advice on nini. she did so freely twice now, without his asking. i get that it’s the wording the fandom gets most angry about, and not the asking as much, though that too a good bit, but- the wording is just that... wording. 

it’s careless not malicious. and yes, that matters if you’re looking at it from a should we hate ricky perspective. the answer to that is firmly no. you’re supposed to be proud of gina for shutting him down, because that’s the right step in her journey, but at the end of the day he’s a dumb teenage boy who has no idea he’s hurting her with his words. (which is true regardless of whether he understood her confession. the way tim’s talked about this has been to say he’s like this oblivious teenage boy who just doesn’t get what he’s doing to you.)

we see everything about this framed from the perspective of gina liking him, but whether he knew she did (and that’s for all he knows she doesn’t anymore since he’s with nini), it doesn’t make him a bad person for asking advice in a way that unintentionally hurts her. we can’t all sit here and pretend to personally have never accidentally phrased something in a bad way and hurt someone’s feelings. 

--

i also admittedly don't think it matters a ton whether or not he understood, because the point of the whole thing was solely about gina and not about him. most of the "rin.a arc" in season 2, if not all of it, was entirely about gina. i could get into this perspective another time if anyone wanted me to elaborate, but yeah. just food for thought. what mattered was that to gina, that was a confession, and that he then continued on to act normally.

i tend to think of random things like this while i'm going along trying to answer this stuff, stream of consciousness and all that haha.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: analysis #hsmtmts: gina porter #hsmtmts: ricky bowen #answered #anonymous #in defense of ricky bowen #//this became a bit rambly but when don't i to be fair #//but yeah i think people miss a lot of nuance about ricky's character sometimes particularly through the ship war goggles #//like yeah it was a dumb thing to say that doesn't mean we have to crucify him for it #//all the characters have their moments and everyone loves them and yet ricky as a protagonist gets all this flack for messing up sometimes

[zentherainbowunicorn]

hey, bet you've got a whole bunch of asks just floating in out of your inbox like this already, buuut do you think you'll ever finish everlasting party? or even just do writing for the fandom again? your writing pieces were all so captivating and so beautifully characterized and JUST INCREDIBLE. even if you decide not to get back into writing it mind maybe giving some hints on how you planned for the story to go BECAUSE IM LITERALLY DYING TO KNOW. binge read the whole thing in one night and can't get over it!

You know, you’ve given me a great excuse to finally write a post about this anon, ‘cause I have a surprising amount to say on the topic ^^ But first, thank you so much for your kind words! I do look back fondly at the things I wrote for the Mystic Messenger fandom and I’m really glad you’ve enjoyed reading them as well.

So, here’s a Q&A-style answer to things I get asked about Everlasting Party and what I’m doing in the MysMe fandom nowadays (after the cut):

Why did you stop writing Everlasting Party?

At the time I believe I’d gotten rather overwhelmed with school work and decided to put off writing the next chapter until I felt like I had things better under control. Weeks turned into months, and because I hadn’t played Mystic Messenger in a while I started to doubt my ability to even finish the story I’d intended to tell. It became easier to just leave it “until I felt like coming back”.

But don’t worry too much about me - I’m doing pretty great nowadays, and I’ve even done a bunch of writing again in the last couple years (just not for MysMe, sadly).

Are you still in the MysMe fandom?

Yes, I am! I don’t post on here so much, but if you’ve been following my Mysterious Messenger posts at all (see the pinned post on this blog) you’ll know that I’ve been working on a Mystic Messenger-style engine since 2018. I tended to work on it in bursts throughout 2018 and early 2019 but for most of 2020 and all of 2021 I’ve been making daily updates to it adding new features, fixing bugs, and maintaining the code. It’s even got a novel-length wiki to go with it lol. I’m also collaborating with a group of people working on a free fangame that will use the engine.

Are you going to come back to Everlasting Party?

All right so this is actually a couple of questions in one. First, do I want to come back to EP? The answer is yes. It haunts me that I’ve left it unfinished and I sometimes get messages or comments about it and I want very dearly to have it finished so I don’t have this loose thread dangling about ^^;;

Will I come back to finish EP? I don’t have a concrete answer for this one because I hate making promises I can’t keep, but I’ll give you some information on my process for this:

I keep telling myself if I remake all the chatrooms for EP with my program (mentioned above), I have to finish writing EP.

I feel like I need to replay the games to re-familiarize myself with canon to properly write the characters again, but don’t really have the same drive to go through all the chats

It’s been a while and my writing style has actually evolved quite a bit (but for the better, I hope!). If I finish EP, there are earlier chapters I’d like to expand upon and potentially modify to flow better. I do worry though that earlier readers might not like the way I change it, but also, I have no idea how many of those people would come back to read the ending, really, anyway.

The good news, though:

I actually wrote 25k on EP during Camp NaNo in July 2020

This is EP’s current word count in my drafts (unedited):

EP is also no longer constrained by my ability (and patience) to make chatrooms at all anymore since I can generate them in mere minutes with my program rather than painstakingly editing them frame-by-frame in Photoshop

I would really like the satisfaction of finishing this story :P

So in summary anon: I am cautiously optimistic about the fate of Everlasting Party. And I actually adore messages like this that let me know people have enjoyed it and would be willing to come back if it was completed! ♥ The odds of me finishing it do, in fact, increase with each person who tells me this, ‘cause part of my worry is that it would be pointless anyway since it’s been several years and what if it doesn’t live up to what people imagined it would be...

Basically, even though I’ve written several additional unposted chapters of EP, I really want to have the whole story complete before uploading again so I don’t get anyone’s hopes up. That said, it’s also pointless to sit on another 25k+ of words if I don’t finish it, so... well, how’s this: if I don’t finish EP by 2022, then I’ll upload what I have written and write a note on my plans so people like you can have some closure.

Thank you again for this message! And if anyone reading this has read Everlasting Party and is also interested in the ending, I’d love if you’d send a message or comment my way with your thoughts ♥

#Anonymous #rainbow unicorn replies #everlasting party #mystic messenger #rainbow unicorn stuff

[opting-for-oblivion]

A Matter of Jurisdiction

A lovely anon asked if I had anything to add regarding one of my recent tags, the gist of which was “In DMC, do you realize how much trouble Governor Swann’s letter would have caused (for the EITC) if it made it to England? Because Beckett did and he was not taking any chances.”

Because I am terrible at being succinct and because I love talking about this, I’m going to expand more generally on what I said in my tags on the post in question and approach some other questions about Lord Beckett’s authority later posed by the op of the original post. [Links to the relevant posts can be found in the replies, as Tumblr hates links.]

I will, fairly, preface this by saying that skimming Beckett’s PotC fandom Wiki does answer all of the questions regarding the EITC’s actions, and, to put the TL;DR at the beginning, that answer is often just “Lord Beckett had royal authority (and enough money) to do whatever he wanted.”

Nonetheless, if you’re curious how I’d nerd out over analyze the situation, please read on!

[A further note: I am not a historian, nor am I an expert on the alternate universe in which PotC is set. If I am, at any point, wrong, please let me know.]

While the main focus of the original PotC trilogy is the conflict between pirates (representing freedom) and the British Crown (representing, among other things, constraint, control, and exploitation), there exists within the British “side” a kind of internal conflict and this is what we see at play between Cutler Beckett and Weatherby Swann.

If you understand Beckett to be a merchant of sorts and the East India Trading Company to be just what it says on the tin -- a trading company -- then it might seem entirely out of order that Beckett invades Port Royal, crashes the governor’s daughter’s wedding, and disrespects (indeed, arrests) Swann the way he does. However, so far as legality goes, Beckett doesn’t cross as many lines as one would think (or, perhaps, the lines are not quite so clear). This is because Lord Beckett has the same royal authority that Governor Swann does and because the EITC is no mere trading company.

The EITC is a deeply politically invested entity. The Company operates with a royal charter, which means that it was granted certain rights by the monarchy. Specifically, the EITC has extensive military and administrative capabilities built into it. (I’ve even seen it referred to as part trade organization, part nation state.) When operating in the Indian Ocean and other areas outside of the jurisdiction of the British Crown, as it was originally intended to, the Company acts as an arm of British imperial power. This becomes a problem when the EITC attempts to exert said power where British Crown authority is already established, such as in the British Caribbean.

Swann is, of course, the king’s governor of Port Royal; his authority derives directly from the Crown as well. In fact, Weatherby Swann is said to be close friends with the king. However, the fact that Swann has personal ties to the aristocracy and Beckett does not doesn’t make their powers as unequal as one might think. The structures that each is part of are just about parallel.

The situation is not: Crown → Aristocracy → Merchants

But rather: Crown → Aristocracy & → EITC

While Beckett has been granted the title of lord by DMC, there is still a difference between those born into such a status and those who were not. (It’s sort of a big deal, especially for Beckett. His family had been wealthy merchants, but none of them had ever held a title.)

Because the two men have fairly equal standing in terms of pure authority, their being at odds become a tricky matter of jurisdiction. In other words, who has the right to exercise his power where? This question vexes both Swann and Beckett, and they’re both keenly aware of it from the moment they come face to face. Neither can claim absolute authority outright, but both have unique cards they can play to shift the situation in their favor.

A few scenes in DMC highlight the chess game that Swann and Beckett are playing, though I’m afraid it was never a game that Beckett intended to play fairly.

In the opening of DMC, the EITC invades Port Royal as Beckett arrives to arrest Elizabeth Swann, William Turner, and James Norrington. Some key things to understand here:

The invasion is not solely to make the arrests, but rather to establish Port Royal as the EITC’s new base. Beckett clearly has that intention (and royal approval for it) before showing up. That said, was invading the place entirely necessary? No, but it is a shock tactic. 

Some of the first things said to Lord Beckett are, by Governor Swann, “Lord or not, you have no reason and no authority to arrest this man.” and, by Elizabeth, “We are under the jurisdiction of the king’s governor of Port Royal and you will tell us what we are charged with.” The Swanns are obviously under the impression that Beckett is out of line, but he isn’t.

Regarding the arrests themselves, all of the warrants are legally valid. Elizabeth, Turner, and Norrington did, as the warrants say, conspire “to set free a man convicted of crimes against the Crown and Empire and condemned to death.” Beckett’s decision to use the prisoners rather than simply execute them is, on the other hand, entirely his own abuse of power.

Another important scene, of course, is when Governor Swann attempts to save Elizabeth by having her sent to England.

Swann’s lines in this scene very clearly show his particular type of power: that based on personal, aristocratic ties. For example, “Our name still has some standing with the king.” Even the captain he makes arrangements with is “a friend” -- the only kind of person Swann can trust given Beckett’s new authority in Port Royal. 

When Swann tells Elizabeth, “Perhaps I can ensure a fair trial for Will.” we especially see where his power ends. His authority in Port Royal, and regarding those who are not his family, is now weak. His best hope there is to enforce existing standards (i.e. a fair trial). 

The entire premise of Swann’s decision here is that he knows that he can’t contest the warrants. However, there is a possibility that he can leverage his ties with the aristocracy to get his daughter off the hook. That personal power is only certain to work in England, out of the reach of Lord Beckett’s power in the Caribbean. Swann is very smart to use his personal ties this way though anyone would have to admit that it’s not exactly legal. 

A line that was cut from the film reinforces all of the above (which is likely why it was cut): “There are still men loyal to me here, and Beckett is still wary of my ties to the Crown.” Swann, due to his position as governor and personal connections with the British aristocracy, has power that -- while not necessarily a threat -- could conceivably challenge Beckett’s actions. Lord Beckett knows this, but there isn’t anything he can do about it at this point in the film. 

Now, considering that (earlier) Swann openly discusses helping Elizabeth escape in front of one of the EITC soldiers when he visits her in prison, it’s no surprise that Beckett suspects something is amiss and sends Mercer to investigate. 

The scene in which Mercer kills Swann’s hired captain and arrests the governor is, perhaps, the most high-stakes political moment in DMC. Mercer not only catches Swann breaking the law, but he intercepts Swann’s letter to the king. When confronted, Swann knows that his gamble has gone horribly wrong.

Swann is arrested on the same grounds that his daughter was, conspiring to free a convicted criminal, which effectively strips him of his authority and, worse, puts him at Beckett’s mercy. More than that, his letter to the king is Beckett’s first real proof that Swann is a threat on a larger playing field. Before intercepting the letter, Beckett only had suspicions to go off of, and any move against someone you’re not sure is an enemy could create an enemy. With the escape attempt and the letter, Beckett has both legal and personal grounds to arrest the governor and, later, blackmail him.

While we never discover the exact contents of the letter, it’s likely that Swann wrote more than a plea for his daughter’s pardon. Elizabeth is his main concern, but it would be unlike Swann -- a man with an admirable moral center -- to not mention the way he feels about the EITC and Beckett’s conduct in Port Royal. If such a letter did reach the king, there is no way that the king could ignore it outright. There would be repercussions of some kind, and a royal inquiry into the EITC’s dealings at the very least. It’s important to remember that, while the Crown pays little attention to the EITC so long as it’s making money, the Crown very much can tell the EITC what to do if it sees fit -- which is the last thing Beckett wants. That said, I’m not certain if Swann’s letter would have meaningfully shut down the EITC in the Caribbean, and it almost certainly wouldn’t have gotten Beckett arrested. In any case, Beckett avoids the whole problem by ensuring that Swann’s concerns -- whatever they are -- never reach ears that are able to do anything. 

In the following scene, in which Elizabeth steals the letters of marque, it’s interesting to note that Beckett’s line about how “loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm” is both ironic and bold. The only reason it’s even remotely true is because Beckett makes it true. He is more than aware of the power that loyalty can have, and he goes out of his way to keep that power from being a threat. Loyalty is still very much a currency of the realm, but it isn’t of much use if there are no transactions being made (i.e. Swann’s letter never reaches the king).

A final scene in DMC that is worthy of note is that in which Lord Beckett blackmails Governor Swann.

The scene opens with Beckett saying, “There’s something to knowing the exact shape of the world and one’s place in it, don’t you agree?” This is, obviously, a thinly veiled threat -- a reminder to take note of one’s place in the current situation.

Beckett effectively threatens Elizabeth, who is currently a criminal among criminals and being hunted as such, and uses Swann’s concern for his daughter to force the governor to work for the EITC. 

Even here, we explicitly see the jurisdiction matter playing out. When Swann asks what Beckett wants in exchange for Elizabeth’s safety, Beckett is more than clear: “Your authority as governor, your influence in London, and your loyalty to the East India Trading Company.” Beckett uses this opportunity to appropriate the governor’s power. While Beckett now technically has the highest authority in Port Royal, he nonetheless ensures that his only possible competitor is working for him, bolstering his power rather than being able to challenge it. Like we see in every case, Beckett will not kill someone that can be more useful to him alive. 

We can also revisit the conflict between Beckett and Swann in the terms Beckett uses: currency versus loyalty. Again, the irony is immaculate. While Beckett’s every move is made on the premise that currency is more valuable than loyalty, he himself values loyalty enough to buy it -- the very thing he says Swann “hoped never to sell.”

If you’ve reached the end of this post, dear reader, I commend you. That said, there are a few caveats to consider. Namely, much of Beckett’s PotC Wiki seems to imply that he had the king’s support and, no conniving required, would have been able to exercise authority over Governor Swann. In that case, things like Swann’s letter are less important (beyond the matter of Elizabeth’s safety, of course). I’m assuming that much of what “actually” happened rests on the details of the EITC’s expansion into the Caribbean -- which Disney handwaved in the films for the most part and only later expanded on (somewhat) in things like the novelizations, which I have not yet read.

#potc #pirates of the caribbean #cutler beckett #weatherby swann #filodox! #filodox!wri #this got way too long #and I took too long to write it #but I don't often get asked about the socioeconomic underpinnings of potc so #<3

[jungshookz]

stuck with you || [roommate!taehyung]

❥ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

❥ genre: university!au, enemies-to-lovers, fratboy!tae??, comedy that’ll either make you chuckle out loud or roll your eyes and snoRT or maybe u won’t laugh that’s cool too, domestic fluff because i want to go grocery shopping with tae toO (but also fluff in general!!), smutty smut so make sure to read this with your phone’s brightness lowered all the dang way, hi @ librarian!namjoon!!! fratboy!jungkook is also in here 

❥ wordcount: 37k if ur reading this on mobile get rekt

❥ summary: kim taehyung becoming your new roommate is definitely up there on the list of the worst things that have ever happened to you. 

❥ note: it’s finally here! this is my biGGEst fic to date and all i’m going to say is get comfortable and maybe get a snack because you, my friend, are about to read a whole ass novel and embark on a rollercoaster of a fiC. hopefully this was worth the wait!! i didn’t think i was capable of writing so much and my fingers are about to fall off but it was totaLLY worth it!!!! there’s kind of a 10 things i hate about you vibe if u squint and also most of the dumB things tae does in this fic were inspired by my ex-roommate so i hope she never finds this lol but also everyone say thank u to her for inspiring roommate!tae! i hope u guys love/hate him just as much as i do! happy reading!! 

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or tae (or even applicant #8 if ur brave enough) ((you’ll get it soon)) u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

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“what do you mean you’re moving out?!”

namjoon can safely say that he’s never seen such pure, unadulterated rage simmering in your eyes

some apple juice dribbles out from your straw as your grip tightens around your juice box

he swallows nervously and tugs at his collar

is it just him or is it getting kind of hot in here

“i-i mean, you know, i… i don’t really know how else to explain it..,., i’m moVing out.,.”

it’s a good thing he decided to break it to you while you guys were in a public space because he knows what you’re capable of

all he’s going to say is that there are witnesses everywhere so you probably shouldn’t hurt him right now

“who are you going to be living with?” you huff and lean forward a little “i’ll kill them.”

“i’ll be living by myself…,.,” namjoon smiles sheepishly “…please don’t kill me” he adds meekly

“no promises.” you mutter grumpily and take a sip of juice

you knEW there was a reason why namjoon gave you two cookies instead of one today

he was trying to butter you up!!!!!

that smooth bastard

a moment of silence goes by

you groan and immediately slump down on the table and namjoon jumps slightly

“namjOON why didn’t you tell me earlier??”

“i’m sorry!!!!!! i’ll make it up to you somehow!!!!” he reaches across the table to pat your head “and i’ll pay my share of the rent for this month so you don’t have to worry about the power going out!”

“that’s not the poinT, joon! the point is in first year we promised we’d live with each other until we graduated and you’re pulling out of the deal a yEAR earlier-“

“i will very gladly help you find a new roommate! i know you haTe meeting new people so i will happily sit by your side as we meet all the candidates. look, i already put an ad up for you and a bunch of people already messaged me saying that they were interested!”

“but i don’t want a new roommate.” you grumble and prop an elbow up on the table before resting your cheek against your fist “who’s going to pack my lunches for me now?”

“is that the only reason why you’ve kept me around for so long?” namjoon teases lightly and reaches across to pinch your cheek “c’mon, it’s not going to be all that bad! part of university life is opening yourself up to new people and all that!”

namjoon frowns slightly when you don’t respond

there’s a little divot in between your brows and the smallest of pouts on your mouth anD your eyes are getting a little glossy so he can’t help but feel a little bad

it’s not that he’s sick of living with you

it’s just that.,,. he feels like third year is a good time to get his own place!

he’s loVed living with you and it’s not like he’s never going to see you again!!!!! he’ll just see you less!!

besides the fact that you two literally live together you guys practically see each other every day on campus because you always have lunch together (except for wednesdays and the occasional friday when namjoon has lectures/tutorial sessions that bleed into lunch time)

not to mention you’re always welcome to come and hang out at his new bachelor pad

namjoon purses his lips before letting out a sigh “say, how about this? i’ll continue to pack your lunches two times a week, how does that sound?”

you slurp up the rest of your juice and namjoon reaches over to yank the straw out of your mouth when he notices you starting to chew on it (you always start chewing on your straws when you’re stressed about something)

“are we still going to hang out on the weekends and stuff?”

“of course! and you can come hang out with me at the library after classes and we can walk to the bus stop together and then go our separate ways”

namjoon probably shouldn’t have thrown in that last bit but oh well

you let out a sigh “pack my lunches three times a week and you have yourself a deal.”

namjoon sticks his hand out and you give him a firm shake and follow it up with a fist bump before ending it by wrapping your pinky around his (when u guys came up with this handshake he was the one who added that last part)

“so -“ you raise a brow “let’s figure out who i’m going to be replacing you with.”

namjoon gives you a warning look

and so, it begins

the hunt for your new roommate

this should be easy!

a lot of people have contacted namjoon through his ad showing interest in the apartment and namjoon did you the favour of organising all the names onto one long list

namjoon actually took care of a lot of the details so all you have to do is sit there and talk to people

and you love talking to people!!!

you have a long day ahead of you but if it ends in you getting a new roommate you’ll be satisfied

luckily it’s a sunday and you don’t usually have plans on sunday

you even put out snacks and drinks for them on the coffee table to show how amazing of a roommate you’ll be (but also you put it out mainly because you know you’re going to become peckish halfway through the day)

“so, what are some of your hobbies?” you smile lightly and lean back against the couch

katie (she’s suPEr duper nice and you have a good feeling about her and she’s literally the firSt person you’re interviewing) grins excitedly before clapping her hands together and turning around to unzip her backpack

your brows knit together in confusion when you hear the slight tinkering of glass coming from her bag

and then she unzips it fully and shows you what’s inside

huh

“you have a bag of… empty mason jars…?” you trail off and tilt your head

why in the world would she collect empty mason jars

maybe she… sells mason jars?

either way it’s kind of odd but as long as she’s not hurting anyone it’s whatever

you can deal with a mason jar hoarder

“yep!” katie sighs and taps the side of the jar gently “i collect sounds.”

you blink owlishly at her and the whole time she keeps a faT smile on her face

“you collect- i’m sorry, i don’t think i follow-”

“do you like harry styles? i went to his concert last summer.”

you’re not sure how harry styles relates to mason jars but

aight

“oh yeah, i love harry styles, he’s very easy on the eyes and his songs are-“ she pulls out a mason jar and turns it so that you can look at the label on the front “…does that say harry styles concert?”  

“this memory is vEry special to me so i don’t usually open it, but i quite like you, so i’ll share some of this with you-“ she leans forward and untwists the cap before lifting it juSt a little bit

“oh, jesus.” namjoon mutters to himself

…

namjoon raises a brow when he sees you lean in a little

you have goT to be kidding

you cannot seriously be falling for this  

“ya hear that?????” she squeals and closes the jar before tucking it back into her bag “when i get angry i just listen to my sounds and they bring me to my happy place.” she sighs and cradles another jar to her chest

you squint your eyes to read the label

the label on it says-  

my goD that jar is labelled ‘grandma’s funeral’

what sound would even come out of that jar?? the sound of her family soBBing??

“o-oh! that’s… great. it’s good to have… hobbies.” your knuckles tighten around the clipboard and you swallow thickly

okay

so

it turns out katie is on a one way train to crazy town

“…we’ll let you know!”

now

the next guy

you’re definitely a fan of

probably even more than katie before you found out she was kind of veRy crazy

in fact

you like him so much that you’re allowing him to stay and chat for longer since the next person texted namjoon and said they were going to be a little late

his name is bukjoon which is a name you’ve never really heard before but the most important thing here is that he seems like a sweet guy anD he seems like a great roommate

he fits into your life perfectly and you’re honestly ready to just hand him a pen so that he can sign the lease

namjoon, on the other hand

namjoon doesn’t like the vibes from this guy because he’s eErily similar to him and he doesn’t know how you’re not picking that up

also he brought homemade chocolate chip cookies shaped like stars and you’ve already eaten like half the batch and namjoon doesn’t like that you haven’t touched the finger sandwiches that he made for you

“just to double check… your- your name is bukjoon. kim bukjoon?” namjoon tilts his head slightly before looking down at the list of names again

“yep!” the other male smiles brightly at namjoon before turning to look at you “now, a little bit about me as a potential roommate… i love cooking, cleaning, doing laundry - that includes ironing, steaming - i love all of it!”

you gasp

“that totally works out because usually namjoon takes care of the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry! i help take out the trash so-“

“oh, great! i hate taking out the trash.” bukjoon laughs lightly and namjoon narrows his eyes when he spots the faintest of dimples embedded in his cheeks

what in the freSH hell is this

he trails his eyes over bukjoon’s crisp button up tucked into a pair of slacks

his sensible dress shoes glint slightly from the lights and namjoon looks down at his own pair of dress shoes

glint

he isn’t going to lie

he feels slightly threatened right now

“also, i’m a total nature documentary freak-“

“oh my god, that’s so perfect! i love watching nature documentaries and i think you’ll make a great replacement for nam-“

“you know whAT-“ namjoon looks bukjoon dead in the eye as he aggressively scratches out his name on the clipboard “we’ll let you know.” he smiles cooly and tilts his head “…you can leave now.”

and bukjoon can take his damn star-shaped cookies with him for aLL namjoon cares

now, this guy…  

to say the least,,.

is very, very creepy (he didn’t even write his name down on the sign up sheet - he wrote down ‘applicant #8’)

“so…” you clear your throat after a full minute of silence (you asked him how his day was going so far and he just glared at you in response) “are you a student or do you wo-“

“i work.”

“cool! what kind of job-“

“i’m an embalmer.”

ah

yes

embalming

…what the heck is embalming

“an embalmer- sorry, what’s an embalmer?” you furrow your brows and lean forward a little bit

“i preserve corpses. would you like to know more about how to embalm bodies?”

okay ur not saying that’s a little weird

but uh

that’s a liTTle weird

“not particu-“

“there’s a lot of work that goes into it. for example, i have to embalm arteries as well after completely draining the blood from the heart.”

wait what

“how about you tell us about how you’d be as a potential roommate for y/n?” namjoon clears his throat and gives applicant #8 a polite smile

“i keep things very clean. very neat. i go to bed quite late. i do not usually invite guests over. i am quiet. please respect my privacy. do not go into my room. especially at night.”

you nod in agreement “yes, of course, i would never want to invade-“

“also, if the police ever call you, it would be best if you just pretended that you’ve never heard of me.”

uH

you swallow thickly and scoot a little closer to namjoon

namjoon reaches over and holds his arm out over you as if the both of you are preparing for this guy to just whiP a knife out and stab your eyes out

applicant #8 looks around before staring at you dead in the eye

you smile uneasily and wrap an arm around namjoon’s bicep “hey, that’s… funny! that’s a funny joke-“

“i see dead people.”

“wE will let you know!” both you and namjoon exclaim simultaneously

“i don’t know how much longer i can do this.” you groan and flop your arm over your eyes as you slump back against the couch

“you better buCk up because we’re only halfway through with the list.” namjoon looks over at the front door when the doorbell rings

you give your cheeks a couple pats to wake yourself up

c’mon

you can do this

you just have to get through a handful of people and then you’ll be done

namjoon squeezes his own cheeks because they’re so soRe from smiling politely all day

he plasters another smile on his face as he opens the door

“hi, you must be-“

“before we get started, you need to know a couple of things about me.” she pushes past namjoon and plops herself down on the couch

you and namjoon exchange glances and joon shrugs before closing the door

“well…” you clear your throat and cross your legs “that is what we’re here for, so-“

“firstly, i’m going to need to rearrange all of this furniture after moving in. the feng shui in here is way off.” she scrunches her nose up before digging through her huGe suede mary poppins looking bag

“i don’t know a lot about feng shui but i’d be happy to rearrange the furniture if you-“

“i’m in touch with my inner chi. are you?” she raises a brow and pulls out a tuft of sage and a lighter “the energy here is… dark. i’ll cleanse this place for you.”

“that’s really not- well, actually, the last guy in here was kind of creepy so maybe the sage is a good idea.” the sage immediately starts smoking as soon as she lights it and she gets up and starts pacing around the living room “i, uh, i don’t know a lot about my inner chi either, so…”

“yeah, that’s pretty obvious.” she snorts and waves the stick around

okay

weLL

you could do without the attitude but so far she seems harmless

“…is that going to set off the fire alarm?”

“i’ll go and open the balcony doors.” namjoon murmurs and points to the balcony windows before getting up off the couch

“i need to be in the privacy of this apartment for at least five hours a day because i like to take the time to meditate alone and i don’t want you to disturb my crystals.”

“you don’t want me to disturb your crystals…?”

“they charge in the sun to regenerate energy so i’ll need you out of the apartment from… 12 to 5. crystals are good for my energy and my soul.”

jesus christ

that’s IT

you’ve had ENOUGH

“i’m going to need you out of my apartment right now before i shove those crystals up your-“

“we’ll let you know!” namjoon slaps a hand over your mouth before you get to finish threatening her

“well… what do you think?” namjoon shuts the door behind him after escorting the crazy sage lady out (she was upset that she wasted her tuft of sage at a place she definitely wasn’t going to be living in and you’re pretty sure she tried casting a curse over the apartment but namjoon kicked her out before she had a chance to do that) “that was everyone…”

“you’re kidding me. that was everyone?” you frown and look over the list of names that have all been crossed out

“i mean… we met twenty eight candidates today… that’s a lot of people!” namjoon purses his lips and taps his pencil against the clipboard “just to let you know, that bukjoon guy was my least favourite-“

“i liked him! he was really nice-“

“he wasn’T-“

“he was-!”

“look, i have to go because i took the late night shift at the library-“ namjoon checks the time on his watch and winces slightly “shit, i’m going to be late!” he hands you his clipboard before picking his backpack up off the couch and unzipping it to check if he has everything “dinner’s in the fridge, don’t open the door for strangers - definitely don’t open the door for that embalmer guy if he comes back - if you turn the stove on please remember to turn it off… i’ll be back by midnight!” he smiles brightly and swings his backpack over his shoulder

“see you later, alligator” you hum and set the clipboard aside before making yourself comfortable on the couch

“in a while, crocodile!”

slam

you purse your lips in thought as you flick through all the new movies and shows on netflix

you could binge watch friends for like the tenth time

maybe watch that new murder mystery movie?

you definitely don’t want to watch a horror movie alone because you get the feeling that applicant #8 is going to pop out of nowhere and slit your throat with a dull knife

oOh you can watch that new nature docuseries

surprisingly those nature documentaries aren’t as boring as you thought they were

you can thank namjoon for your newfound love for nature documentaries

you nod to yourself and turn the volume up before pulling the throw blanket up to your chin

time to watch tv until your eyes roll out of your skull!!!

>:-)

“nothing symbolises our relationship with the high seas better than the blue whale…”

it’s about 10:30 now

namjoon left for work at around 5

the pasta casserole that namjoon made for you sits on the coffee table half eaten and with a fork stabbed into it

an open bag of tortilla chips and some guacamole also sit abandoned on the table

you’re pretty sure you ate like a family sized serving of pasta but you know what

sometimes it just be like dat!!

you’re also pretty sure namjoon would’ve scolded you for not using a plate and instead eating straight out of the pan but he’s not here so touGH luck

you’re on episode five-and-a-half of the docuseries (each episode is about an hour long) and unsurprisingly your eyes are starting to get a bit fuzzy because of how long you’ve been staring at the screen

which is why you took a break from your binge to take a shower just to give your eyes a break

you left the episode playing because it always creeps you out when the apartment is completely silent and you’re home alone

so now you’re sitting on the arm of the couch with your hair wrapped up in a towel and a toothbrush shoved into your mouth

“weighing 200 tons and 30 metres long, these are the largest animals ever to have existed…” you brows knit together in fascination when a blue whale swims across the screen

wowIE those things are huge

you reach down to scratch at the side of your bare thigh before continuing to brush your teeth

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you’re so enthralled with the whale on the screen that it takes you a couple seconds to register that someone’s knocking on the front door

you turn to look at the door and feel a little bit of pAnic rise within you when you hear them knock again

you don’t know if you should quickly run to the bathroom to spit your toothpaste out or just open the door with a frothy mouth

eh

it’s probably namjoon

he always forgets his house keys!!!

“i’m comingph, i’m comingph!” you reach up to wipe at the toothpaste beginning to dribble out of your mouth as you make your way to the door

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you shove your toothbrush into the side of your mouth before reaching down for the handle

“did yvou pheriously forget your keyphs again-?!” you open the door expecting to see namjoon standing there with a sheepish smile on his face but-

huh

“…you’re not namvjoon.”

oh good god

you have no idea who this person is but whoever he is he’s making you sweAT

he’s wearing a plain white tee tucked into a pair of distressed blue jeans and he has a comfy looking black and white flannel draped over him as well

obviously dyed honey brown hair peeks out from underneath his beanie

two black studs in his ears

“sorry to let you down.” he smirks lightly and his tongue pokes out to swipe over his bottom lip

he has the kind of face that you would describe as rather boyish and handsome

very chiseled as well

and that voice

oh, that voice

it’s slow and deep and it feels like you’re wading through warm honey

it hits you that you literally don’t have any shorts on and you instinctively tug your (namjoon’s) shirt down in a pathetic attempt to cover up a little more

you pull your toothbrush out of your mouth and pRay that you don’t accidentally spit on this veRy attractive stranger and you reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand

you have half a mind to just swallow the mouthful of toothpaste but that’s just nasty yo

so you kind of manoeuvre the toothpaste to one side of your mouth so that you can speak normally

“can i help u?” you clear your throat

he pulls a flyer out from his back pocket and you recognise that it’s the roommate flyer namjoon made

oh

“you still looking for a roommate?”

“who… wants to know?” you clear your throat and keep your eyes trained on the flyer

“i’m taehyung. kim taehyung.”

cool so he introduces himself like james bond

“my friends call me tae.”  

“well, taehyung, it’s nice to meet you. i’m y/n y/l/n. …my friends call me… y/n…” you stick your hand out for him to shake and turn your head discreetly to look over your shoulder

the living room is a mESS

you turn back to face him “…could you give me a minute?”

taehyung doesn’t get a chance to respond before you’re shuTTing the door in his face

the next minute spent is the most chaotic minute you’ve ever experienced in your entire life

you turn the volume down on the tv and for a secOnd you can’t help but wonder if taehyung is going to judge you based on what you’re watching on netflix

maybe you should turn the tv off??

nO no you’re overthinking it just leave it on

you put the bag of chips and the tub of guac on the empty side of the casserole dish before rushing to the kitchen and shoving everyThing into the fridge

you spit the toothpaste out into the sink and quickly rinse your mouth out before tossing your toothbrush aside

it would probably be a good idea to leave your hair up in a towel otherwise your wet hair is going to make you look like a drowned rat

is it too late to slap on some makeup??? maybe cover up the pimple on your forehead or drAw some damn eyebrows on????

taehyung raises a brow when he hears a loud thump from inside the apartment

hm

you nearly trip over yourself as you hop back to the front door while slipping a pair of pyjama shorts on

jesus chRISt

you check yourself out in the mirror hanging on the wall next to the coatrack

well

this is as presentable as you’re going to get

“everything okay?” taehyung laughs lightly when you open the door sliGhtly out of breath

“everything’s perfect!” you nod enthusiastically “come on in” you step aside to let taehyung in and you let out a breath as you shut the door behind you

okay

just take it easy

be cool

be cool!!

you’re super cool

cooler than a dang cucumber that’s how cool you are

“pretty nice place you got here…” taehyung hums as he looks around and makes his way to the couch

“thank you! make yourself comfortable… do you want some tea, or coffee, or… i have a couple juice boxes in the fridge if you’re into that?” you scratch the back of your neck and gesture towards the kitchen

“a juice box sounds nice!” he smiles and plops himself down on the couch and smooths his hand over the soft fabric

you nod and head to the kitchen but turn to glance at him over your shoulder briefly “so, taehyung, tell me about yourself!”

“well, i’m a third-year student, i’m majoring in business and economics, minoring in art history, uh… oh, sorry i came by unannounced, by the way! i meant to sign up for a slot but i completely forgot and i figured it’d be alright to swing by briefly just to talk to you-“

“it’s totally fine! no big deal” you step out from the kitchen with two boxes of juice in your hands and you hand one to taehyung before sitting down next to him “as you saw i was just getting ready for bed but it’s honestly no biggie”

he punctures the hole with the straw before taking a sip

“tell me about your previous living situations” you cross your legs and turn to face him

taehyung tucks one leg under the other and turns to face you a little more

“well, i used to live in a… house, with a couple of other guys, but uh, i just thought it’d be a good idea to find a place with less people, you know? sharing a washroom with four other guys gets rough sometimes.” he snorts lightly and takes another sip of juice

“hm, that’s a fair point. i mean, if you lived here you would have to share a washroom with me but i’m a loT cleaner than four guys.” your eyes flicker to the tv for a second

you’ve always been awful at maintaining eye contact and there’s nO way you’re going to be able to hold taehyung’s gaze for more than five seconds without breaking into a cold sweat

“yeah, i don’t think i have to worry about you pissing all over the floors.” taehyung teases and shakes his head “but, a little bit more about myself as a roommate since that’s what i’m here for - i’m pretty chill, so i don’t think you have a lot you need to worry about. y’know, i try to keep things neat, try to keep things quiet and respectful and all that. you don’t have to worry about me bugging you or anything because i usually just keep to myself - it won’t even feel like you have a roommate!” he jokes before clearing his throat “is there anything that you… want to share with me?”

“well, let me think…” you purse your lips in thought and shift slightly “i think it’s super important that household chores are split evenly so like… if you finish the milk then yoU should be responsible for buying a brand new carton of milk at the supermarket! i actually have a chore chart stuck on the fridge so that we can see who’s in charge of what for the week.”

you falter slightly

oof

does the whole chore chart thing make u sound dorky

to be fair the chore chart was namjoon’s idea so he’S the dork in this situation but there’s no time to expLAIN

QUICK change the subject and make yourself sound like leSS of a freak

“uh, paying the bills on time is always a good thing! so… as long as you have money for me at the end of each month it’ll keep me from nagging you - noT that i’m like constantly going to be nagging you if you moved in with me but you know-“

taehyung lets himself space out for a moment as you continue to babble on and on

from what he can gather you seem like a decent person

a little bit of a doofus but still a decent person

you’re not bad to look at either

there’s something oddly endearing about you but he can’t quite figure it out yet

he nods and smiles and continues to pretend like he’s listening to you when in reality he’s singing that new taylor swift song in his head

all he has to do is play along and work his charm so that he can weasel his way into this apartment

are you still talking about the chore chart?

he has to admit

you seem like you’re a little uptight about certain things but honestly he just needs a place to live for the next year so he’ll have to find a way to deal with it

“you can go over the rules when i officially move in, how does that sound?” taehyung reaches out and places his hand over yours and you feel your cheeks flush slightly at the sudden initiation of c o n t a c t

“oh! uh, well, there’s a whole list of people that are also looking to move in so i can’t just…”

this is why you can’t do these things alone

if namjoon was here he would know exactly what to do

he’d probably tell the applicant that he’ll keep in touch and let him know but it seems like taehyung is taking advantage of the fact that you are alone..,., and defenceless.,,..

taehyung is noT leaving without knowing that he’s going to be your new roommate

“i’d like to move in as soon as possible, if that’s okay with you.”

“i, um, well, the lease expires this thursday and namjoon’s moving out on friday-“

“great! i can totally do friday.” taehyung chirps and sets his empty juice box down on the coffee table

waiT

your eyes widen when you realise that he’s talking as if you agreed to let him move in which is something you definitely did noT do yet

“moving in will be easy because i only have a couple of boxes of stuff anyway.” he hums and scoots a little closer to you until his knee bumps up against yours

“i-i, uH, you see, the thing is..,,.” you laugh uneasily and put your own juice box down “i still need to think about-“

“i personally think we’d make great roommates, don’t you, darling?” he hums and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair back into your towel with his pinky and you swallow thickly

for some reason you feel like you’re not allowed to say no to him

you already hate saying no to people but you feel like you really reaLLY can’t say no to taehyung

friCk

it feels like everything is happening too quickly

what would namjoon do

#wwnd!!!!!!!!

okay

u know what

just say: ’i’ll let you know’

i’ll

let

you

know

:-)

saY IT

….SAY IT

“…i’ll see you on thursday, y/l/n!” taehyung chirps happily as he steps into the elevator

he pokes his head out to give you one last wave and you let out a nervous laugh before shooting him a thumbs up

you close the door and reach up to scratch your head  

what just happened

what just haPPEneD

“…what just happened?” you breathe out and press your hands against your reddening cheeks

what just happened was that yoU just found your new roommate

goodbye kim namjoon

hello kim taehyung

you feel like you need to take another shower to shake yourself out of the funk that kim taehyung has put you in

“oh, by the way!!!! i don’t know how i completely forgot to tell you this but - i found a roommate!” you smile excitedly as you and joon take a seat at your usual lunch table

“oh!!!!!! that’s great!!!” namjoon grins while polishing his apple on his sweater vest “what’s his name?” he falters and narrows his eyes at you “…it better noT be buk-“

“taehyung! kim taehyung? something like that.” you shrug and take your baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers out of your lunch box

namjoon packed ur lunch for you :~)

“kim taehyung? kim… taehyung…” namjoon furrows his brows

that name sounds oddly familiar and he doesn’t know why

“i think you’ll really like him! he’s super polite and very charming and-“

“oh! kim taehyung!” namjoon’s eyes light up for a second when he remembers the face to the name

and then you can point out the moment the light dies in his eyes

uh oh

that doesn’t seem good

“oh. kim taehyung…” he lets out a breath “huh. i didn’t think you… would get along with someone like him.”

“what are you talking about?” you knit your brows together in confusion

namjoon presses his lips together and shrugs

“you really haven’t heard about kim taehyung? at all?”

you shake your head

“all i’m going to say is one time he came into the library with his frAT-bro friends - they were all very obviously drunk out of their minds - and he used the copier machine to make copies of his bare ass before plastering it around the library.” namjoon raises a brow before shuddering “i still get nightmares about it. i can’t touch the copier machine without disinfecting it three times beforehand.”

you wince

oof

that doesn’t seem like someone you’d want to be roomies with

“maybe we’re thinking of different kim taehyungs?” you offer meekly and crunch down on a carrot

“mm… no. i’m sure we’re talking about the exact same one. super deep voice - one that would be good for narrating a nature doc or one of those asmr videos on youtube - dyed brown hair - i think i saw him walking around with like, eLmo red hair once - are we talking about the same one?”

frick

“…okay, we’re talking about the same one.” you swallow your bite and suck some hummus off your thumb “well, you said he was drunk! people do silly things all the time when they’re drunk. you know, like that time you got super wasted and wouldn’t let me leave your room until i sat down and read the entire dictionary as your bedtime story.”

“what are you two squabbling about without us?” you jump when hoseok and jin suddenly appear with their lunches

hoseok slides in next to you and steals the baby carrot pinched in between your fingers before popping it into his mouth

“y/n’s new roommate is kim taehyung.” namjoon deadpans and hoseok and jin immediately exchange glances

“oh boy”

“bold choice”

“wha- am i the only one who doesn’T know about kim taehyung??” you exasperate and steal one of hobi’s fries in retaliation

he smacks your hand immediately and you scowl

“he’s a playboy - and that’s coming from me.” jin raises a brow and namjoon nods in agreement

“so what? what he does in his personal life doesn’t matter to me.”

“it’ll matter when he starts bringing girls home and the only thing you’ll be able to hear is obnoxious moaning aND the headboard knocking against the wall.” hobi snorts

“well, if it gets out of hand i’m sure he’ll tone it down after i talk to him about it.” you grumble and push your lunch box away a liTTle more aggressively than intended

“as if kim taehyung is going to listen to you - you’re about as intimidating as a baby lamb, y/n.”

you hate it when the guys treat you as if you’re a helpless little baby

you can make decisions on your own!!!!!

even if this was a bad decision it doesn’t matter because the point is yoU made this decision all by yourself and that’s something that’s super important to you

you don’t need to rely on anyone else!!!!!

with that being said

you’ve completely lost your appetite

you feel sick to your stomach

you can’t help but feel like you just made a fatAL mistake

the boys are acting like you signed a deal with the devil and you’re starting to believe you actually did

“how do you guys know so much about him anyway??”

“finish your lunch or else you’ll get cranky later-“ namjoon pushes your lunch box back towards you and raises a brow and you huff before digging out your sandwich

“i’m very good at eavesdropping.” jin points out “also, he’s usually at all the parties i’m at. aLso i hung out with him a couple times at those parties - he’s a friendly guy, don’t get me wrong, and i’m sure all it took to convince you to let him become your roommate was him looking at you with those chocolatey brown puppy dog eyes - but you, my friend… you’re fucked.”

“i am not fucked!”

“he’s friends with…” hobi trails off and drums his fingers against the table “what are their names again?”

“park jimin and jeon jungkook.” jin’s always been a walking encyclopaedia of campus gossip which is proving to be very useful at this time “they’re all basically the exact same person. sleeping around, causing trouble, being dickheads in general… one time i got hit in the back of my head with jungkook’s football and i didn’t even get a sorry-”

“you just said he was a friendly guy!!!” you don’t mean to interrupt jin in the middle of his fun little story but you just need to know what you signed yourself up for

“yeah, he’s friendly when he wants something from you, duh. he’s a dickhead the rest of the time.”

o god

taehyung definitely wanted something from u

he wanted the apartment from you

does this mean he’s going to become an asshole now??

what have you DONE

“…i’m sure it’ll be fine, though!” hobi smiles and pats your shoulder gently “…you gonna finish your sandwich or what?”

thursday rolls around muCh sooner than you would’ve liked

after your many, maNy conversations with jin (you sat him down and forced him to tell you eveRything that he’s ever heard about taehyung) you have come to the conclusion that kim taehyung is not who he presented himself to be and the next year of your life is going to be a living nightmare

he sleeps around a lot (which is totally fine with you like that’S not the thing you have a problem with) = loud sex is going to keep you up!!!!

he’s messy = you’re neat-ish!!!!

he’s a night owl = you’re a morning person-ish!!!!

he’s loud = you’re quiet-ish!!!!

he likes to throw parties = you hate parties!!!! you hAte the idea of having a group of strangers chilling out in your apartment getting their grubby straNGer hands all over your couch and your tv and youR food and youR juice boxes

“please don’t leave me.” you whimper and tighten your grip around namjoon’s arm before propping your chin up on his shoulder

most of namjoon’s stuff is already at his apartment but he came back to pick up one last box of his belongings but he feels like he should’ve just abandoned his sweaters

because you won’t let him leave and he needs to gO because he’s roasting a chicken in his oven!!!!!!  

“you’ll be fine, relax.”

“can’t you stay here til he comes?”

“my apartment’s going to burn down if i don’t leave now. look, i’m only a ten minute walk away, if you’re overwhelmed, you’re welcome to come and spend the night.”

you purse your lips in thought and wrinkle your nose

“maybe i should just move in with you-“

“absolutely noT you are not moving in with me-“ namjoon reaches over and thwacks your forehead so that you let go of his arm “good luck - i’ll text you later!”

damn it

so

taehyung swings by an hour and a bit later with a bright, boxy smile on his face ready to move on into namjoon’s room

you had to give yourself a mini pep talk before opening the door for him with a forced smile

you asked him if he needed any help bringing anything up but he insisted on taking care of everything himself because he didn’t want to be a bother to you which definitely surprised you

you also offered to help him unpack his boxes but he told you to take it easy and just watch some tv or something (“why don’t you watch one of those animal documentaries you like so much?”)

maybe jin was wrong about him!!

see

you shouldn’t believe rumours so quickly!!

you were silly to get all scared and panicky

you gave him a quick tour even though there’s not a lot to the apartment

his bedroom is next to yours

the bathroom is down the hallway

the kitchen is there

this is the living room

the laundry room is on the 10th floor and you keep a little baggie of quarters in the chest by the front door

“taehyung?” you knock on his door before poking your head into the room

he already has a couple posters up on the wall so it seems like he’s settling in pretty nicely

taehyung lets out a quiet breath and rolls his eyes when he hears your voice

you can’t go like 20 minutes without bugging him and he gets that you’re just trying to be friendly and helpful but like

you really need to relax

he’s in the middle of hanging some shirts up in his closet and he forces a smile onto his face before turns to look at you “hey! what’s up?”

“i have a little housewarming gift for you!” you pull a little potted plant out from behind your back before stepping into his room “it’s a baby peace lily!” you hold it up for him to look at “it was actually supposed to go to namjoon but i forgot that i already gave him a little cactus for his desk so… i thought maybe you’d like something to spruce up your room!”

taehyung looks at the tiny plant in your hands

oh

that’s kind of nice of you

it’s not that he doesn’t like you or anything because you do seem nice

you’re just on the opposite end of the spectrum compared to him in terms of personalities (and from what he can tell, social status)

which isN’t a big deal but

eh

he’s just not used to you

your smile falters for a second and you look over at him with wide eyes “noT that your room isn’t alreAdy spruced up but i just thought that maybe-“

“thank you very much, i love it already.” taehyung laughs lightly and walks over to you before plucking it out of your hands “i don’t have any gifts for you because i didn’t think i…” he sets the plant down on the window sill and brushes his fingers over the leaves before glancing at you “-needed to give you anything…”

he smiles sheepishly and scurries over to his bed for his backpack

he unzips it quickly and spills the contents of it out onto his bed

“oh god, don’t worry about it, you definitely didn’t have to get anything for me, i just-“

“ah! here we go.” taehyung grins as he pulls a brand new pack of gum out of the mounTain of loose papers and pens

he stands up before handing it to you with both hands and bowing a little “a fresh pack of gum for my wonderful new roommate. it’s my favourite flavour - strawberry!”

you laugh lightly and take it from him

yeah

you think you’re going to get along really well with kim taehyung

he’s not bad!!!

not bad at all

:~)

so

now that namjoon no longer lives here you’ve taken it upon yourself to become the ‘captain’ of the apartment

this basically means you’re in charge of eveRything because you feel like taehyung isn’t exactly the leader type

the thing is

every morning after you got up namjoon would already have the apartment cleaned up from the night before

the pillows would be fluffed and arranged neatly; the throw blanket folded up and sitting on the sofa chair

the blinds would be pulled up to let the sunlight in (and he usually opens the balcony doors just a crack to let some fresh air in)

the coffee table dusted and free of greasy fingerprints or watermarks

the coffee machine turned on and churning away

the plants out on the balcony are watered (he took the bonsai and left you the daisies)

the dishes on the drying rack put away from the night before

namjoon did a loT now that you think about it

you never really realised how much he did around this place until now

now that.,.,,. he’s not ur roommate anymore.,,..

:-(  

it still huRTS

you thought it would be easy to fall into your new schedule but you fell asleep on the couch in the middle of fluffing the pillows and you ended up taking a 20 minute snooze

you woke up when you rolled over and fell on the floor with a thuMp lol

you rub at your bleary eyes as you shuffle over to the blinds

it’s 7am so the sun is just starting to peek out and say hello

you let out a yawn as you pull the string and the blinds go up slowly

one thing that you’ll always love about living all the way up on the 21st floor is the beautiful view of the city skyline

you see all the highways intertwining with each other and all the tiny cars going here and there

and of course the view of the ocean!!

no wonder namjoon liked to get up so early

the peace and tranquillity of watching the city beginning to wake up is actually pretty pleasant  

you let out a happy sigh before pushing the one of the balcony door handles down and opening it just a little-

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“jEsus-“ you practically jump ten feet into the air when your new roommate makes himself known

you whip around and almost jump again when you realise that taehyung is literally riGht behind you

“how did you get here so quietly??” you mumble before shaking your head and moving to open the other set of blinds so that you can open the other balcony door

you yank the blinds up and taehyung groans and squints at the sudden onslaught of liGht

“when you do it like that it’s sO LOUd”

you clench your jar and turn to face him before putting a hand on your hip

“well, how else am i supposed to open it??”

taehyung shoves you aside and pulls the string again so that the blinds roll back down

he turns to give you a pointed look before sHOVING his hand right in between the shutters and pushing the handle down to open the door “like that.”

wha-

wHAT

WHAT KIND OF MONSTROSITY-

“but- buT then you bend the shutters and- sEE SEE look you dented it!!!!” you push him aside to at least tRy and bend the shutters back into place and scowl to yourself when you see the little dent even after you straightened it out

“so what? if you have to open the balcony doors every morning you should do it like that because a) you don’T have to open the blinds and hurt your eyes so early in the morning, and b) you won’t wake me up from all the ruckus!” taehyung states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“i’ll take your suggestion into consideration next time, thank you” you smile through gritted teeth and follow him to the kitchen

taehyung opens up the fridge and pulls out the carton of apple juice

he unscrews the lid of the apple juice carton and you’re about to ask him if he knows where you put the cups but thEN he starts chuGGing out of it like an uncultured sWINE and you literally fEEL your heart stop

that is so nASTY

he lets out a satisfied ‘ah~’ before putting it back into the fridge

“anyways, now that i’m up,” he slams the fridge door shut and turns to face you with a bright smile “you gonna make breakfast for us or what? because i am starving!”

you know what

you think you’re getting used to sharing a washroom with taehyung

it’s actually not that bad besiDes the fact that he occasionally forgets to put the toilet seat back down but u know what it’s totally fine it’s not a big deal

all you’re saying is that joonie never forgot to put the toilet seat down because he’s very courteous and knows that in the morning when you’re half asleep you’re not going to remember to put the seat down-

“chRist-“ you gasp in shock when your ass basically falls riGHt into the toilet bowl and you reach out next to press a hand against the wall while the other grips at the countertop

you let out a groan and get up before quickly turning to put the seat down

but yes

as you were saying

it’s really not that bad sharing a washroom with taehyung

you flush the toilet before pushing the shower curtain aside to turn the tap on

you hum to yourself and pull your shirt off before tossing it into the hamper

you just have to get used to the fact that taehyung isn’t like namjoon

your brows furrow when you reach under the tap to check the temperature of the water

,.,.why is it still.,,. cold

it doesn’t take this long for the water to get hot

unless

you poke your tongue into your cheek when something crosses your mind

taehyung must’ve used up all the hot water

your grip on the edge of the bathtub tightens until your knuckles turn white

okay!

no problem!

a cold shower will certainly wake you up for sure!!!!  

and you remember namjoon mentioning something about how cold showers help with your metabolism or something like that so maybe you should be thanking taehyung for using up all the hot water like a selfish pRICK-  

“no problem, we’re all good…” you mutter to yourself and pull the little knob on top of the tap so that the water will go to the showerhead-

you yELP when you’re suddenly blasted with icy cold water and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself in a pathetic attempt to keep yourself warm

oh my goD

o-o-o-okay this is going to be the f-f-fastest shower you’ve ever taken in your e-e-entire life because you’re pretty sure that if you spend another f-f-five minutes in here you’re going to get h-h-hypothermia

you shiver as you pick up the bottle of shampoo and-

oh you are k-k-k-kiDDING

you don’t have any shampOO LEFT

you bought this two weeks ago!!!!! how the hell did you use it all up???????

you clench your jaw when it hits you onCe again

k i m

t a e h y u n g

this shampoo is expensive too!!! it’s goat milk shampoo and it makes your hair smell suPer good and feel silky soft  

no wonder he smelled oddly familiar the other night

you jump when you hear knocking on the bathroom door

you push the curtain aside aggressively “what????”

“i need to take a piss!!!! hurry it up in there!!”

you resist the urge to huRL the empty shampoo bottle at the door

anyone who knows you knows that sundays have always been your favourite day of the week

sunday is the perfect day to just relax and unwind from the whole week aND saturday

plus you and namjoon sometimes go to brunch on sunday so that’s another reason why you look forward to sundays so much

you don’t have any plans today which means you have all the time in the world to just chill out and-

“oh. my. god.” your jaw drops in pure shOCK when you walk into the kitchen

it looks like a tornado blew through the kitchen while you were sleeping  

wh-

hoW did this happen????

the kitchen was completely spotless yesterday!!!!!!

you know that because you literally spent like 2 hours cleaning the kitchen last night!!!!!!!!

you were on your hands and knEES scrubbing at the kitchen tiles until each one of them were smooth and polished!!!!

but now??

the garbage bin isn’t closed all the way because it’s literally overflowing with traSH and there’s a banana peel hanging out over the edge

there’s a whole mouNTAIN of dirty dishes and mugs in the sink

you just stepped on a sticky spot and you don’t even want to know what dried up there

and the fridg-

the-

the frIDGE ISN’T CLOSED

you feel a shiver tingle up your spine at the thought of all of your food going to waste because of a warm fridge

you immediately rush over and open the fridge door all the way to see if-

“oh nOnOnOnonoooOooo-“ you reach forward to press the back of your knuckles against the carton of milk and curse to yourself when you realise that it’s literally room temperature

you don’t know how long the fridge has been opened but you know that it’s probably not safe to eat whatever’s in there

everything in the fridge is spoilt as far as you’re concerned

even your overpriced honey-cinnamon greek yogurt that you literally bought two days ago

you’re going to have to dump everything out

what a waste of money!!!!!! now you have to go grocery shopping today and replenish all the food!!!!!!

you should wake tae up and ask him to chip in for the grocery fees

“i can’t get over how comfortable that mattress is…” you turn to look when a sleepy taehyung steps into the kitchen

“what the hell happened??” you exasperate as you grab another garbage bag from the cupboards and shake it open “when i went to bed last night the kitchen was spotless because i cleaned it but i come in this morning and it looks like someone hosted like thrEE frat parties in here all at once-“

“y/l/n, cchhiiiilllll.” taehyung yawns and stretches his limbs out before reaching up to rub at his eyes “i just brought all my dishes and my trash to the kitchen a couple hours after you went to bed, it’s not a big deal.”

oh

okay

well

he’s right

it’s not a big deal

as long as he takes out the trash and washes his own dishes it’s not a big deal

“this is… it’s a lot of trash and a lot of dirty dishes…” you mutter as you take a look around

“it’s only like five days worth of trash and dishes - it’s not that much.” taehyung nudges you aside so that he can look into the fridge “…where’s all the food?”

“in the garbage bag.” you step aside to gesture to the veRy full garbage bag behind you “the fridge was open when i came down and everything in there was warm so i’m throwing everything out.”

“you’re- oh my goD you’re literally wasting so much money right now-“

“most of the things in there were mine anyways so it’s not that big-“

“you threw out that honey-cinnamon yogurt?? i was almost done eating that!!!” taehyung frowns and shoots a glare in your direction

your eyelid twitches

so

he’s been helping himself to your organic vegan yogurt hUH

and he was ‘almost done eating’ it??

you bought it tWo days ago and it’s a huge thing of yogurt which means he must’ve really reALLY been helping himself to it

“hey, so when are you going to go grocery shopping?” tae closes the fridge before nudging you aside again to get to the sink

and at first you think he’s going to get a head start on those dirty dishes but theN-

you feel a wire inside of your brain short circuit almost immEdiately when taehyung uses a wet paper towel to wipe the rim of a dirty cup before turning your coffee machine on and placing the dirty cup under the nozzles

you remind yourself to never accept a cup of coffee from him

it’s totally not a big deal

some people have certain quirks that you’ll never understand but that certainly doesn’t mean that they’re not nice and that you can’t get along with them

“well… i wasn’t going to go until thursday but considering the fact that the fridge is literally empty i guess i’m going today-“

“great, because i have a list of things that i’m gonna need you to pick up for me.” taehyung sighs and plucks an apple out from the fruit bowl

you furrow your brows immediately

“well, you could always come with me-“

“nah, i’m not good at it.” he takes a giAnt bite of his apple

“…you’re not good at- how can you not be good at grocery shopping-?“

“wait, does this mean you threw out the creamer, too?? now i have to drink black coffee?? dude, groSS” taehyung whines and wrinkles his nose at the fresh cup of coffee he just brewed for himself

“…just give me your stupid list.”

if you had a dollar for every time taehyung irritated you, you would honestly be a billionaire at this point

not even a billionaire

you would be a triLLionaire

“would it kill you to do the dishes sometime?” you wipe your damp hands down on the back of your leggings as you step out of the kitchen and into the living room

taehyung is currently lazing on the couch helping himself to a bag of chips while scrolling through his phone

“you know what, it actually would.” taehyung glances up at you “i’m like super duper 100% deathly allergic to dish soap. frankly, i’m offended you even asked.” he pops a chip into his mouth

crunch crunch crunch

you clench your jaw in frustration

for a second you can’t help but wonder what it’d feel like to drive your fist right into the middle of that pretty little face

“ooookay, if you can’t do the dishes, then you can help me take out the trash.”

taehyung sighs and shakes his head “no can do, buddy. i’m also allergic to garbage bags.”

woW what a friCKin coincidence

“…you can do the laundry!” you clap your hands together before placing them on your hips

your foot starts to tap against the floor impatiently when taehyung bring a chip to his mouth slowly and bites it in half

a couple crumbs fall onto his chest and he brushes them onto the floor

he clears his throat  

“detergent falls into the same category as dish soap-“  

“you know what? forget i asked! forget it!” you lauGh and raise your hands in defence before walking away “i give uP! i frickin GIVE UP-“

taehyung jumps when he hears your bedroom door slam shut

he shrugs and pops another chip into his mouth

unsurprisingly

namjoon, jin, and hobi aLL think that you’re not getting along with taehyung

and even though that is a very true statement

unsurprisingly

your natural instinct is to prove them wrong

“we’re getting along just fine, thank you very much for your concern.” you adjust your backpack strap before shaking your head “he’s actually super great, contrary to your guys’ belief. he’s a wonderful roommate! i love taehyung!”

the way you’re speaking almost sounds like you’re trying to convince yourSelf that you love taehyung

and you’ve never really been good at persuading people

namjoon can’t help but roll his eyes

you’re already very stubborn and he haTes dealing with you when you get like this

he doesn’t understand why you can’t just admit that taehyung is a horrible roommate!!!!

“i mean, sure, he’s a little messy, but who isn’t? it’s totally not a big-“

“hey, check it out!” namjoon interrupts your little speech about how amazing taehyung is as a roommate to point over by the vending machines “why don’t you go and say hi to your super duper wonderful angel of a roommate?”

you swallow thickly when you follow namjoon’s line of sight

yep

that’s taehyung alright

you’d recognise that beanie anywhere

frick

it looks like he’s with a group of his friends

you see him pull a plastic baggie of quarters out of his backpack

hey look at that!

that’s nice of him

he’s treating his friends to some snacks

…

wait a second

you feel one of your veins buST open when it hits you

is that.,,.,. is that the lauNDRY MONEY

he’s using the laundry money to pay for snacks and drinks???!??!

“you know, i don’t know if that’s a good idea!” you clear your throat when you feel the boys slowly nudging you towards his direction

hobi literally has his hands pushing against your lower back while namjoon has his fingers wrapped around your wrist

“he looks like he’s in the middle of a very riveting conversation and i wouldn’t want to-“

“kim TAEHYUNG-“ hobi screeches before plopping down on the bench and gesturing for namjoon and seokjin to duck down as well

you panic and you’re about to sit down too but it’s too late

taehyung turns around to understandably find whoever it was who just screamed out his name in the middle of the cafeteria and immediately locks gazes with you

oh god

okay just say hi

“hi taehyung!” you smile brightly and wave at him a liTtle too enthusiastically

jin immediately grabs your hand and pulls it down because your wrist is going to pop off if you wave any harder

now

a normal person would wave back when they’re being waved to

unfortunately for you taehyung is not a normal person

taehyung raises a brow before snorting gently and turning back to his group of friends “as i was saying…“

your jaw drops slightly

what the hell was that

namjoon kisses his teeth and shakes his head

he’s about to hit you with the faTTest ‘I Told You So’ of all time

“it’s a fun little game we play.” you sit down quickly and smooth out your skirt

you can feel your cheeks growing red at the complete mortification of the situation

“you guys wouldn’t understand.” you clear your throat and laugh lightly “he’s so silly!”

namjoon frowns and turns to look at taehyung over his shoulder for a second

you are one of the moSt important people in his life and he hates that you’re being treated like shit

“you still think we believe you when you tell us that you like him?” he sighs while wiping his apple on his shirt

“…just eat your lunch.”

okay

you’re starting to think that you’re incapable of noT thinking about taehyung

you don’t get it!!!

maybe it’s because you have this innate need to be liked and when you realised that taehyung might noT like you that much your brain was like well,.,,. now i’m going to keep thinking about why he doesn’t like us.,,.,.

even when you’re asleep it sounds like your brain won’t stop repeating the words ‘oh my god, taehyung, oh my god, taehyung-‘

“oh my god, tae, fuck yes-“

oh my god

your eyes pop wide open and you stare into the darkness

…

…

…

okay

maybe you just imagined it

that was just your imagination and it definitely wasn’t-

“yes, right there, fuck me with your huge-“

OH

OH NO

oH IT’S NOT YOUR IMAGINATION

THiS IS REAL

“oh god, yes, i’m cumming, you’re gonna make me- ah!”

you feel your entire face burning up as you try to suppress your own screams by flipping over and shoving your face into your pillow

this is a nightmare

a niGHTMARE

also this is a schOOL night so they have no business getting it on when all of you have classes tomorrow

and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse

you hear the headboard beginning to smack against the wall and- “oh my god, tae-!”

and you nearly start crying

“oh my god, tae...” you whimper to yourself and feel a shiver go up your spine

bLEugh

you yank the covers up over your head and curl up into a ball

you didn’t even know he snuck a girl home!!!!

how did he do that so quietly!!!!!!

when you wake up the next morning you’re not sure if the entire night was some sort of weird fever dream or not

you finally fell asleep at like three in the morning because thaT’s when the screaming and the bed-rocking died down

and then you woke up early because you’re pretty sure taehyung woke his pal up with his head in between her legs (“tae, your tongue feels so-!“)

she’s very communicative which is key in a relationship so hopefully things work out between the two of them!!1!!

you blink down at your bowl of cereal and watch as the now-soggy cheerios float around your spoon

you.,,. don’t have an appetite this morning which is very rare because you’re aLways in the mood to eat

“hi! you must be tae’s roommate!” your spoon clatters against the side of your porcelain bowl when taehyung’s lady friend pops out of nowhere

jesus chRist

she was quiEt

she’s dressed in what appears to be one of taehyung’s tattered t-shirts (the same one he was wearing when he left the apartment yesterday morning) and you allow yourself to stare at the hickies decorating her neck and collarbone as she reaches up to pull the shirt up slightly

you’re tempted to offer her a pair of shorts or something because homegirl’s ass is fully out right now (she’s wearing a g-string which is basically noTHING)

“this is the part where you introduce yourself, y/l/n.” taehyung pops up behind her and raises a brow at you

oh

riGht

you reach up to wipe away the milk that’s driBBling down your chin and you reach out to shake her hand “hi! yes, i’m the roommate… i’m y/n.”

“i’m soo-young, but you can call me joy if you’d like…” she’s a little preoccupied because she keeps looking over your shoulder at tae who’s currently drinking out of the orange juice carton like an animal

joy, huh?

very fitting considering she was screaming of joy last night anD this morning

“well, it’s very nice to meet you, joy.” you push yourself up off the counter before spinning around and promptly grabbing the carton from taehyung’s grubby hands “can i offer you anything? we have cereal, instant oatmeal, frozen waffles and bagels…” you hum and pull a cup from the cupboards before pouring a glass of juice for tae

side note

if you ever need to make a little money in the future maybe you can open up some kind of bed and breakfast thing

taehyung can take care of the bed part and you can do the breakfast part lol

anyways back to it

you hand the clean glass to him with a little glare and he smirks before accepting it and taking a small sip

“of course, i’ll toast the bagel for you… unless you eat frozen bagels?” you joke and put the orange juice back into the fridge before standing back up and leaning against the fridge door “we have cream cheese, oR i make this really good cinnamon butter that i’d be happy to share with you”

joy’s eyes widen before she looks over at taehyung

“uh, i… actually, i was thinking that tae and i could go out for breakfast or somet-“

“i’m gonna go take a shower.” taehyung chirps and hands you the empty glass before moving to head out of the kitchen

“maybe we can take a shower together! save some water?” joy offers shyly and grabs onto taehyung’s wrist

oh

bless her heart

his eyes flicker down to where she’s gripping him and he shakes her off gently “um, we’re trying to conserve hot water so… maybe you should wait til you get back to your place. by the way - would you mind tossing the shirt into the hamper after you change? thanks, sweetheart.” he clicks his tongue and gives her a heaRTy pat on the shoulder  

you mouth a quiet ‘yikes’ to yourself when taehyung leaves the kitchen and joy looks like a puppy who’s just been kicked in the face

her entire face is red and she looks like she’s about to start crying

oof

it’s not greAT of taehyung to brush her off like that but according to your knowledge taehyung is a one night stand kind of guy so.,.,,

you really hope she doesn’t start crying because you never know how to comfort people and ur not about to start now

you clear your throat as joy looks down at the shirt she’s wearing and picks at a loose thread on it  “…how about i smear extra cream cheese on your bagel for you?”  

“bye! thanks for putting the shirt in the hamper…” you offer joy a sheepish smile and watch as she steps into the elevator before you close the front door

so

she didn’t want the bagel even after you toasted it anD put extra cream cheese on it

she definitely wasn’t as joyful as she was when she first came out of tae’s room reeKing of sex

...okay it was funny the first two times but now ur just beating a dead horse

you were about to offer her some clothes for her taxi ride back home because if you were in this situation you would rather be dressed in a hoodie and leggings instead of a tight mini-dress and six inch platform heels at 9 in the morning buT uh

that would give her an excuse to come back and you get the feeling that taehyung doesn’t want her to come back

“taehyung?” you give the bathroom door a couple knocks before taking a step back “i toasted a bagel for joy but she didn’t seem to have an appetite so do you want to split it-“

the bathroom door swiNGs open and you flinch slightly at the onslaught of heat and steam that comes out from it

and then time seems to slow down

taehyung steps out of the washroom with a towel hanging loosely around his hips and a smaller one hanging around his neck

h-holy.,,., holy shIT

smooth, glistening caramel skin with the warm bathroom lights illuminated behind him like a halo

droplets of water practically cascading down the ridges of his broad chest and the faint ridges of his abs and woW that’s a v-line for suRE

you swallow dryly and look up to see taehyung staring right back at you with the coCkiest of smirks on his face

oH

“oh, god, i’m sorry-“ you immediately spin around so that you’re facing the other way and you feel your face starting to heat up  

“it’s all good.” taehyung chuckles lightly “what were you saying about a bagel?”

“i, uh, i was wondering if you wanted to split a bagel because-” you turn to look at him over your shoulder and your eyes widen when you realise he’s standing a loT closer to you as he dries his hair “-b-because joy didn’t seem to want it-“

“yeah, i’m down. lemme put some sweatpants on and i’ll join you in the kitchen.” taehyung puRPosely brushes past you and you catch a whiff of his musky aftershave

you feel your knees grow weak when you see his back muscles flex slightly as he walks down the hall to his bedroom

“head’s up!” he turns around quickly and tosses the smaller towel at you and luCkily your reflexes are fast enough to catch it before it hits your face

you shake yourself out of it quiCkly and pat your hot cheeks

“…wait, are you putting a shirt on too or are you just coming in sweatpants-“

tae’s white towel fLIes out from his room before the door slams shut

“so… joy seems like a nice girl.” you drum your fingers against the side of your mug before taking a sip of coffee (it’s coLD now but you’ll drink it anyways)

“mm.” taehyung murmurs and takes another monster bite of his bagel

“are you… planning to call her or text her or-“

“nah.”

“you shouldn’t have let her weAr your clothes if you’re not going to call her again-“

“she put it on herself and she already knew this was going to be a one time thing” taehyung glances up at you from his phone before giving you an expression that screams ‘duH’ “plus, it’s none of your business.”

you scoff at taehyung and raise a brow “it becomes my business when the vigorous and veRY loud sex happens in my apartment and i’m going to be the one the landlord contacts when we get noise complaints.”

“it’s our apartment”

“my name is on the lease. it’s mine. you’re renting from me.”

taehyung pokes his tongue into his cheek before setting his phone down harshly “what do you want from me, huh? it’s not my fault she was so loud. i can’t help that i’m so good with my-“

“i want you to keep things respectful because you are noT the only occupant of this apartment. keep your sexcapades at a decEnt volume! gag your next friend for all i care!! i was going to sleep in but i had to get up early because someone was moaning up a storm-”

“again, not my fault- it seems to me that someone needs to get laid because you’re waY too uptight and it’s obvious you’re kind of a prude-“

uM

“i am noT a-“ you let out a breath of frustration before shaking your head and turning around “you know what, i’m going to go and get ready to head out!” the mug nearly shatters from the sheer force of you setting it down in the sink

you should’ve said yes to bukjoon

you should’ve!!!!!!

you let out a sigh as you stare blankly out the window

where is bukjoon?

what’s he doing now?

you miss him

you just let him sliP through your fingers

:-(

sure, you would have to had face the fiery wrath of namjoon but the guy’s about as intimidating as a baby penguin so that wouldn’t have been too hard to deal with

speaking of namjoon

you’re looking forward to the lunch that namjoon packed for you today!!  

you managed to calm yourself down a little after your chat with taehyung this morning and now all you can think about is how greAt today is going to be

your outfit is cute

your hair isn’t frizzy

your makeup looks nice and deWy just the way you like it

and one of your lectures got cancelled today so you get to come home a little earlier!

anyways

a classic namjoon lunch (specifically personalised and created for (1) y/n y/ln) includes the following items:

1x smooth peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich with no crust

he avoids chunky peanut butter because he knows that you have sensitive gums aND you don’t want peanut bits all up in your teeth after you’re done eating

he used to shape them like hearts but one time you opened your lunch box (yes, namjoon even got you a tin lunch box) in front of hoseok and jin and they immediately started teasing you and asking you what other shapes mama namjoon could do

namjoon wasn’t the least bit embarrassed because he loVes preparing lunch for you but you were traumatised and from that moment on you requested that namjoon simply slice off the crusts and leave it at that

1x baggie of baby carrots and baby cucumbers

1x little pot of hummus

1x homemade chocolate chip cookie that’s always the size of your palm never bigger never smaller

1x carton of either banana/chocolate milk oR apple/orange/pineapple-strawberry juice

you take the box out of the fridge and-

your brows immediately furrow

why,.,.

why does the box feel so light

you give it a little shake

it certainly doesn’t sound like there’s little baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers waiting for you to devour them

your heart sinks to your stomach and your eyes actually begin to water when you open up the box to see that all that’s in there are a couple empty plastic baggies and some breadcrumbs

you swallow thickly

“hey, when are you doing the laundry?” taehyung pops into the kitchen and perks up when he sees you with the lunch box “oh, the bagel wasn’t enough for me and i noticed that the food in that box was the only other decent thing to eat. if i didn’t eat that i would’ve starved to death. by the way, there was a note in the lunch box and it seemed like it was for you but honestly… who’s to say?” taehyung tosses a crumpled up note at you and you catch it before uncrumpling it and-

‘i know you asked for no more heart shaped sandwiches but i bought a new cookie cutter and i just had to use it. see you later today! -joon’

oh

oH

this son of a biTCH

“also, who has the time to shape sandwich bread into-“

“what do you mean ‘who’s to say’???? this was obVIOUSly for me!!!!” you feel your eyes glazing over even moRe purely out of frustration with taehyung and his eyes widen “i’m the only other person who lives in this apartment and if this lunch box doesn’t belong to you then obviously it’s meant for mE you IDIOT”

“jesus, y/l/n, calm down! it’s just food!!” taehyung furrows his brows before scoffing “here, i’ll give you $20 for lunch.” he rummages through his pockets and pulls out a couple of bills

you look at the bills before looking at him and shaking your head

“you’re a dick.” you sniffle as you dump the plastic baggies into the recycling bin

“…what, do you need more lunch money? how much do you eat??”

“that is not the point!”

“okay, $30 for lunch! god, take all my money, why don’t you??”

as time goes on you begin to realise that kim taehyung is truly an asshole

there’s no better word to describe him than an asshole

he’s an inconsiderate, arrogant, uncaring, selfish, complete asshole of a man and you don’t know what you did to deserve this

you really don’t!

he doesn’t care about you at all

in fact

he treats you as if you were his personal maid or something

you’re always picking up after him and you’re always cleaning up his messes anD you’re always escorting his lady friends out of the door the morning after with a to-go cup of coffee and half a bagel

you don’t havE to do all these things for him but you do!!!

you say you’re only continuing to do all these things for taehyung because you’re a nice roommate but according to namjoon you’re a-

“pushover. a complete pushover!” namjoon pauses to glance at you over his shoulder as you trail behind him and his book cart

he hands you a book and you slide it into place

“i am not a pushover!!”

he turns around with a thiCk dictionary in his hands and starts flipping through it

you scoff and place a hand on your hip as you watch him slide his finger down the page

“what are you doin-“

“pushover: noun.” he clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “an opponent who is easy to defeat or a victim who is capable of no effective resistance. someone unable to resist an attraction or appeal; a sucker.”

alright

you see what he’s doing here

you raise a brow and snort “can you use it in a sentence?”  

namjoon claps the dictionary shut before sliding it into the shelf

he leans against the cart and crosses his arms before reaching up to stroke his chin in mock thought

“ah! i’ve got it.” he smiles sweetly at you “y/n is a pushover when it comes to taehyung, and she’ll do anything for him with a snap of his fingers-“

“alRight alright i get it-“

“synonyms for pushover include but are not limited to the following: doormat, weakling, wimp-“

“fine! fine, i’m a little bit of a pushover. it’s not that bad!”  

namjoon turns around and starts wheeling his cart down to the next shelf “a little bit of a pushover? oh, please. what are you doing after you help me out here?”

“going grocery shopping.”

“uh-huh. and what’s on the top of your grocery list? check the list on your phone.”

“i don’t see how this is going to help prove your theory that i’m a pushover-“

“just do it.”

you pull your phone out of your pocket and open your notes app before tapping on the grocery list

the first thing you typed was-

“…’peanut butter cups for taehyung’.” you mutter lowly and scratch the back of your neck

oof

“yep. not honey-cinnamon yogurt, not bagels, not cinnamon toast crunch - peanut butter cups for taehyung. i said it before, and i’ll say it again - you, my friend, are one bIG pushover.”

“pushover. i am not a pushover.” you mutter to yourself as the elevator starts taking you up to your floor

you hug the bag of groceries to your chest tighter to keep it from slipping

“i’m just being a nice person! just because i do things for him whenever he asks me to do things doesn’t mean i’m a pushover. if anything, i’m a… i’m a pullunder! i’m a biG OL pullunder!!!”

ding

you step out of the elevator and make your way down the hallway to the apartment

whatever

you’re not a pushover no matter what namjoon says!!

even though the first thing you looked for was taehyung’s peanut butter cups the moment you stepped into the grocery store does noT mean that you are a pushover  

“hey they didn’t have the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i got these- oH GOD SORRY” you squeak and slam the front door and immediately feel a chunk of your soul leave your body

because you fully just walked in on tae really REALLy getting it on with someone on the couch

how does this keep haPPENING

why does he have to have so much sex!!!!!!!

you fluffed the pillows so nicely this morning

you’re not particularly sure what to do now

are you allowed to go in

are you supposed to wait out here until they’re done

maybe you can go down to the lobby and just wait there

you should probably send tae a text and tell him to just let you know when he’s done

oR maybe you should go in there and tell them to go to the beDroom and finish up because you were really wanting to vacuum the living room today

you jump in surprise when the door swings open violently to reveal a very frustrated looking tae along with a very half-naked tae

he has your throw blanket wrapped loosely around his waist and your cheeks immediately flush

he’s an asshole but it would be inhumane of you to noT check out the faint outline of his six pack

“ever heard of knocking?!” he snarls at you and anY physical attraction to him at this moment immediately fizzles away

you gawk at him

“knock- i live here-!”

you’re about to pick up the grocery bag and shoVe past him to get into the apartment when suddenly he steps aside to let his guest out

“call me later?” she gets up on her tip-toes to give tae a kiss on the cheek and he hums in response

why.., does she look so familiar

your brows knit together as you diG through your brain

omg

what the

you immediately pale when it hits you

rose???????? sweet little rose??? from your history class????? the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens????? sweet little rose from your history class the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens bent over the arm of the couch while tae dRILLS-

“bye y/n! see you monday” rose smiles sweetly at you and muster a smile before stepping aside so that she can make her way to the elevators

you wait for the faint ding of the lifts before you open your mouth to speak but tae beats you to the chase

“i was going to get at least three more orgasms out of her but someone had to come home and ruin the fun” taehyung sighs as he turns to head back in the apartment

“well i’m sorry i live here” you grumble and bend down to pick up the groceries “and three orgasms sounds positively draining”

“of course you would say that, you prude” taehyung tosses the pillows back on the couch

you huff and resist the urge to drop the groceries just so you can kick his ass

“you wanna help me put the groceries in the fridge?” you grunt and kick the door shut behind you

“nah, you can handle it”

“..,.oh, okay! uh, as i was saying, i didn’t find the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i did find these-”

“leave them in my room. i’m gonna take a shower!” tae chirps and slams his bathroom door shut

he opens it up again and pokes his head through “by the way - i’m having a couple people over tonight so it’d be suuuuPer cool if you could like.,.., not be here when that happens.”

“what about if i just stay in my room-“

“thanks, roomie!”

slam

you let out a breath as you stare at the bathroom door before shaking your head disappointedly

how did you get stuck with a prick like that

what did you do in your past life to deserve this?????

you turn to inspect the dishevelled state of the couch

you are going to have to disinfect the entire couch

maybe burn it

maybe just buy a new couch???

you honestly don’t even know how one person can have so much sex with so many different people

you’re all for having a healthy sex life and you fully support someone having multiple sex partners if you’re that kind of person but this is ridiculous

you can’t help but wonder if tae’s had sex on every surface in the apartment

…that explains the handprints on the balcony doors  

“i hate him! he’s driving me crazy and i have to live with him for the next year.” you groan quietly and pinch the bridge of your nose

“so just drive hiM crazy right back”

“how am i supposed to do that?”

“what does he hate the most?”

you purse your lips in thought and make a face

“…not getting laid every weekend?”

namjoon pauses and gives a little shrug

“touché - but, no. he hates you the most. at least, it seems like he hates you the most.”

“gee, thanks-“

“i’m serious! from what i’ve heard - and what i’ve seen - you guys boTh despise each other, so just hang around him 24/7 and you’ll drive hiM equally as crazy!”

“aren’t you the one telling me not to fight fire with fire whenever i get into sticky situations?”

“this is a special situation.” namjoon clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “didn’t you say he was throwing a party?”

“he’s not throwing a party, he’s just hanging out with his friends and they’re all chilling at the apartment. that’s why i’m hanging out with you at the library instead of being in the comfort of my own apartment.” you snort

“oh my god, you dumbass. ‘having a few people over’ almost always translates to ‘i’m throwing a party’. even i know that!” namjoon scowls and reaches over to flick your forehead

you scowl and reach up to rub at the sore spot “taehyung wouldn’t throw a party without consulting me about it first” you huff stubbornly and lean back against the wheely chair

“wow. the midterm exams really made your brain cells disintegrate, didn’t they? you don’t think there’s an inkling of a chance that as you’re sitting here with me, kim taehyung isn’t taking advantage of the fact that he has a very spacey apartment all to himself?”

“you know what, namjoon? i really don’t think so. i think you’re just making an assumption based off perceptions of-“

“there might be people bumping uglies on your bed right now.”  

you immediately pale

“…yeah, so i’ll see you later!” you squeak and bend down to grab your bag

“yep, that’s what i thought.” namjoon snorts and watches as you make a mad dash out of the doors

taehyung is typically a very carefree guy when it comes to throwing parties

he kind of just goes with the flow and doesn’t let anyone harsh his mellow

he doesn’t care if people have sex in his room as long as they keep it clean and fasT and they don’t do it on his bed

he doesn’t care if the cops come and tell him to keep the noise levels down because he knows he has the ability to charm his way out of a charge

but one thing that he definitely cares about?

there’s no way in hell he’s going to let you ruin his party

so imagine his surprise when he walks out from the kitchen to see you asking people to ‘please use the coasters that i’ve provided for you!’

“what the hell are you doing here???” taehyung hisses and grabs you by the arm before pulling you out of the apartment and into the hallway

“what does it look like i’m doing? i’m joining the party!” you grin before pointing to the door “it seems like everyone’s having fun in there!! also, it looks like there are at least twenty people in our apartment and i only have enough juice boxes in the fridge for like six people, which is unfortunate. anyways-“ you’re about to step into the apartment but taehyung reaches out and wraps his fingers around your wrist to hold you back

“you have to leave. i thought you were hanging out with..,,. what’s his name.,., four-eyes tonight?”

“who? namjoon?”

“yeah, four-eyes.”

“namjoon was busy tonight and i didn’t have any work to do so i figured i’d stop by at the obvious party that’s happening in my apartment. what happened to ‘having a couple of friends over’?”

“our apartment.” taehyung corrects you and pulls you back again when you make a move to walk in again

“debatable statement.”

“look, just go and hang out with your friends, alright?” he exasperates “come back in a couple of hours.”

“no!” you frown and let out a huff

“get ouT of here!” he points towards the elevators

“no!!! do you not want me here? is that it??”

taehyung clamps his mouth shut before pursing his lips

you immediately gawk at him

why doesn’t he want you at his party??? you’re not thAt lame

you’re super fun at parties!!!

sure your dance moves aren’t that impressive but you can get jiggy widdit once you get a couple drinks in your system

“why not!!! that’s totally unfair!!!”

you’re aware that you’re acting like a petulant child right now but it’s not fAIR that taehyung doesn’t want you at his party with his friends

you don’t care if he’s ashamed of you even though that’s what it feels like and you can’t help but feel sliGhtly offended

you just want to make sure nobody breaks anything or sets anything on fire

anD you want to make sure that, as namjoon so delicately put it, nobody’s bumping uglies on your bed  

“fine!” taehyung grumbles and gestures towards the door

it seems like you’re not going to take no for an answer so he’ll just have to deal with you staying at the party “you wanna hang out at my party? be my guest. but don’t come running to me like a scared little deer when you realise that you don’t fit in when it comes to these social situations.”

“oh, please.” you snort and push the door open

almost immediately you feel the bass from the music pumping through your veins “i’m going to fit right in with your gang of- hEY feET oFF the coffee table-!“

taehyung lets out a breath and sends out a quick prayer hoPing you won’t be the cause of the death of his party and his social life in general

so

you’ve been to a couple of house parties before with namjoon and hobi and jin

usually you just hang out in the corner of the room with some unidentifiable drink in your hand while you scroll through your phone while hobi and jin are debating over something dumb like ‘do pigeons truly have feelings?’

this is a brand new situation for you

you’ve never been alone at a party

you’re almost always glued to namjoon’s side and you just have to give him a tug on the wrist to let him know you’re ready to get the heCk out of here

and as much as you want to leave you can’T because you made a big deal out of taehyung not wanting you at the party so if you leave now it’s just not going to look good for you

and you don’t know why but it feels like the number of people have increased tenfold because it feels like you’re in a can of sardines right now

of course

you want to prove to taehyung that you can be super cool so you’ve tried to be a little more lax with everyone

but that hasn’t stopped you from scolding somebody who was very happily helping them-self to the peanut butter chocolate ice cream in the freezer

also

you don’t know how you slipped into a party straight out of those cheesy high school movies but here u are

playing seven minutes in heaven

to say the least

you’re.,,. uncomfortable

you didn’t even play this game in high school for crying out loud

also it’s not the 70s anymore why would anyone still be interested in playing seven minutes in heaven

you inspect your nails uninterestedly as taehyung digs his hand through the bowl of names

he had everyone write their names down and put them in the bowl and he foRced you to come play because when he found you you were lecturing somebody on the consequences of mixing alcohol and weed (“do you know how quickly you can become dehydrated with this combination???”)

taehyung feels a sense of relief when he pulls out the slip of paper with your name scribbled down on it

thank god

if he can’t get rid of you for the whole night at least he can get rid of you for seven minutes

“y/n! you’re up.” he smiles brightly when he sees the sheer look of panic wash over your face

good >:-)

taehyung falters when he unfolds the next slip of paper to see that it’s,.,.,. his name that’s scribbled on it

ew!!!!

he doesn’t want to play seven minutes in heaven with u

no offence

“hey, look at that! jungkook, you’re y/n’s partner!” taehyung cheers and shoves the slip of paper back into the bowl

jungkook nods before getting up off the ground and you immediately curse to yourself

it’s not that you don’t want to be paired up with jungkook

it’s just that he’s so intimidatingly preTTy and you get very nervous around pretty people

first impressions are important and you get the feeling that you’re going to find a way to make a fool out of yourself as per usuAL

you don’t know the guy at all

you’ve seen him a couple times around campus throwing a frisbee around with his pals

one time you saw him in line at starbucks but other than that

absolutely nothing

of course you don’t have any time to panic and ask if it’s too late to back out because the next thing you know the two of you get ushered towards the front door before getting shoved riGht into the closet

it looks like taehyung cleaned out the closet specifically for this game

you’ll have to ask him later where he shoved everything

you clear your throat and look up at the flickering light in the closet before looking over at jungkook who is aLso avoiding your gaze

“i’m y/n, by the way.”

wait

taehyung already told him that

oof

this is already going downhill and it’s barely been ten seconds

“i’m jungkook.” he smiles politely and sticks his hand out awkwardly for you to shake

it’s awfully cozy in here

he’s about the length of your elbow to the tip of your middle finger away from you which seemS like an appropriate distance away but when ur shoved into a tiny closet it’s very, very close

“you’re taehyung’s roommate, right?”

“yep! and you’re taehyung’s… friend?”

“eh, i guess so. we’re just part of the same fraternity but i don’t actually know him too well.” jungkook shrugs “we lived together last year but i kinda kept to myself.”

“oh yeah! i remember him mentioning something about living with like four other guys…”

“it gets messy” he laughs lightly “do you get along with him?”

“well, we have our good days, i suppose. he uses my shampoo-“

“no way, he used to use my shampoo too!!!!”

you immediately snort and roll your eyes playfully “i just don’t get why he can’t go out and get his own damn bottle!”

“exactly!!!!!” jungkook gasps in exciTement because he’s finally being given a chance to rant about taehyung

he accidentally raMs his elbow into the wall and lets out a groan before crumpling over

oh oUCH

“are you okay????” you immediately burst into giggles and reach over to give the top of his head a gentle pat

“whyYyYY are you laughing at me??” he whines and rubs at his sore elbow

it’s weird

you thought jungkook was just a carbon copy of taehyung

and for the first time ever

you’re pretty happy that you were mistaken

seven minutes goes by fAr too quickly for your liking because the next thing you know taehyung’s banging on the closet door and telling you guys to ‘get your asses out here’

“i’m sorry about... you know, not actually following the rules of seven minutes in heaven” you smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck

“technically, the players get to spent seven minutes doing whatever they want with each other and i just wanted to get to know you a little better, so i think we played the game right.” jungkook teases lightly

he reaches out for the doorknob but pauses and turns to look at you again “by the way, i… would you maybe want to hang out sometime? grab some coffee or something?”

your brows raise in surprise

oh

your cheeks warm immediately and you let out a soft chuckle “i, uh, yeah! i would love to grab some coffee with you sometime. maybe after we get out of this closet i can give you my number?”

jungkook beams at you and nods happily “yeah, that’d be-“

all of a sudden the closet door swings open and you instinctively take a step away from jungkook when you see taehyung standing there looking less than happy

“the game is called seven minutes in heaven, not teN minutes in heaven.” he steps aside to let the two of you out and you can’t help but roll your eyes

for someone who accused you of being a buzzkill muLtiple times he’s certainly doing a good job at being one right now

taehyung can’t help but narrow his eyes a little when he notices you and jungkook exchanging shy glances as you guys sit back down in the circle

...hm

“i’m baaaack!” your keys jingle as you shove them back into your backpack

you’re genuinely surprised that you didn’t walk in on tae fucking the lights out of someone on the couch

you were expecting to see a pair of someone’s boobs or a flash of his dick but it’s a pleasant feeling to be able to walk into your own apartment and not want to completely bleach your eyeballs

“you would not believe how packed the bus was because it’s tuesday and you wouldn’t think that the bus would be super jammed on a tuesday night but obviously-“

“i’m going to need you to shut up before i throw my books at you” taehyung raises his pencil in your direction but keeps his eyes glued on his laptop

he’s sitting crosslegged on the ground and he’s surrounded by loose papers and open books

his laptop is on the coffee table and it looks like he had a whole bag of m&ms for dinner which cannOT be good for you

he has the tv turned on but the volume’s really low

“wow, alright mr. grumpy…” you raise your hands in defence before bending down to untie your laces “what are you doing?”

“none of your business.” taehyung mutters in response and lets out a huff of frustration

side note

you’ve never seen him wear these rectangular framed glasses before

his hair is frizzy and slightly damp from a shower most likely

he’s in a white and blue stripey pyjama set

you’ve never seen him look so.,,.., dare you say it,.,,.. so boyfriend material-y before

so warm n snuggly n cozy

it really sucks

the fact that he looks like that and then once he opens his mouth all the attraction just fadEs away in a millisecond

god really has it out for you doesn’t He

“fine, sorry i asked…” you can’t help but feel a little dejected every time taehyung shuts you down like that

you’re just being a nice person!!

taehyung falters and pokes his tongue into his cheek when he glances at you and sees you hanging your jacket up on the coat rack quietly

ur just minding your own business

,.,.ok he feels a little bad for being rude to u all the time

he doesn’t know why he’s so mean to you

you guys have been roommates for a couple of months already and every time he’s mean to you you never fight back

in fact you usually just flash him a smile and then wander off and leave him alone

“i’m just…” taehyung sighs and leans back against the bottom of the couch “i’m taking this dumb art history class and i have a presentation in a couple of days that’s worth 25% of my final grade that i haven’t worked on yet.”

you narrow your eyes at him “that… i can’t feel bad for you because you did that to yourself. you should’ve started earlier!”

jesuS

okay now he knows why he’s so mean to you all the time

it’s because you’re a bratty little know-it-all

taehyung shoots a glare in your direction and you shrug

well it’s truE

“would it kill you to stop being such a smartass all the time? you always think that you’re right and that everyone else is wrong-”

“because most of the time i am right and everyone else is wrong.”

“jesus- you know what, whatever. just leave me alone, y/l/n.” taehyung grumbles and brings his attention back to his laptop

“what are you doing?” taehyung furrows his brows in confusion when you suddenly plop yourself down across from him and pull your laptop out of your backpack

“i’m going to help you, that’s what i’m doing.”

“do you even know anything about mesopotamian art?”

“nope” you pop the ‘p’ before raising a brow “but i’m going to research the heCk out of it and we’re going to make a bombass presentation and you, good sir, are going to ace it.”

“i don’t get it. why are you helping me?” taehyung narrows his eyes at you and you give him a warm smile in response

“because this is me being nice. don’t question it. now share your google presentation with me!”

believe it or not

you actually think that making presentations are pretty fun

you get to choose the pretty fonts and the colourful backgrounds and if you’re really wanting to spice things up you can always add in those funky transitions

of course taehyung has a certain minimalistic aesthetic to his slides so it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to infect it with your multicoloured block letters

the two of you have been working for about an hour and a half and you have to say it’s been a pretty productive hour and a half

taehyung said that his presentation has to be 10 minutes long which really isn’t thaT long if you think about it but the difficult part about it is that you have to jam as mUch relevant information as possible into it

thankfully he already did some research so you guys didn’t have to start completely from scratch

of course you chipped in and did some research on your own as well that you thought would contribute greatly to the overall quality of his presentation

but picking and choosing what to cut out and what to put in is surprisingly taking a lot more time than you thought it would

it’s been relatively silent

all that can be heard is the tv is playing softly in the background along with your guys’ fingers on tapping away at the keyboard and the occasional flip of a page or scribble of a pencil

your eyes flicker over to taehyung over the top of your laptop

he has his necklace trapped in between his teeth as his fingers fly across the keyboard

there’s a divot in between his brows and for a brief second you can’t help but think that his concentrating face is actually pretty cute

wait wat

u didn’t say that

taehyung glances up at you and you quickly look back down at your laptop screen

a soft smile twitches at the corner of his mouth

you’re cute when you’re not running your mouth and constantly telling him what to do  

you took a quick break earlier to change out of your clothes so now you’re in a pair of shorts and a comfy looking sweatshirt

also you had to pull out your reading glasses because it felt like your contacts were starting to dry out anD your eyes were starting to get fuzzy from staring at the screen for so long

and taehyung didn’t think he had a thing for girls with glasses but.,,.,. he might have a thing for girls with glasses

wait wat

he didn’t say that

you’re chewing on the back of your pen as you scroll through an article when all of a sudden your tummy lets out a little grumble

it makes sense considering the fact you haven’t eaten in like nine hours

“i’m going to order some takeout for us because a bag of m&ms does not equate a proper meal” you get up off the ground and stretch your sore limbs out before heading towards the kitchen

taehyung glances up at you briefly (your butt looks cute in those shorts) before shaking his head “nah, i’m good. you can go ahead and order-“

“orange chicken, broccoli beef and vegetable chow mein without celery and with extra bell peppers, right?” you poke your head out from the kitchen with your phone sandwiched in between your ear and your shoulder

“wha- um, yeah. how did you know-“

“great! also, could i get an extra order of egg rolls-“

huh

you know his order by heart which is funny because he happens to know that your usual order is sweet and sour pork, honey-walnut shrimp, and fried rice with extra green onions

wait what

taehyung brows knit together in confusion

how’d he know that

what the heCk

from: jungkook - ok what about this one: if i could rearrange the alphabet i’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together

to: jungkook - bOo i give that one 2/10 points

from: jungkook - your standards are too high, woman!!!!!! what are u doing now?

to: jungkook - eating dinner. guess what’s on the menu?

from: jungkook - what’s on the menu

to: jungkook - me-n-u

from: jungkook - omg ur so lame u literally just stoLE my pickup line i’m giving you -2/10 points

you giggle softly as you type in your response

you and jungkook have been texting back and forth since taehyung’s party a couple of weeks ago

he’s super sweet anD super funny and he just has that boyish charm about him that makes you squeAL if you think about it for too long

all you know is that ur kinda sorta maybe wrapped around his pinky and you’ve only gone out for coffee with him once

he pulled your chair out for you!!! you guys split a slice of carrot cake!!! he even feD you a bite!!!! and after coffee you guys just wandered around campus and it was just super nice talking to him!!! he draped his jacket around your shoulders to keep you warm!!! you like him a lot and he makes your heart go boom-boom!!!

“hey - for one of your pieces of shrimp, i bet you that i can catapult one of my pieces of chicken right into your mouth.” you look up from your phone to see taehyung grinning at you

he wiggles his brows and you look down at your little dish of shrimp

you guys are taking a dinner break and you thought the entire dinner would go by with nO words being exchanged between you two but this is a good sign because taehyung initiated a conversation

you should take advantage of this!!! this is your winDow of oppoRtunity!!!!!

you set your phone down and raise a brow “you drive a hard bargain, kim.” you sit back a little and open your mouth expectantly and tae rubs his hands together excitedly  

he places a piece of chicken on the spoon and clears his throat

and…

he pokes his tongue out in concentration and flicks his wrist forward quickly

your eyes widen in excitement when it actually lands in your mouth and you make sure to chew and swallow before sticking your arms up in the air in viCtory “it worKed!!!!! i guess that means you get one of my shrimps - which i will aLso be catapulting into your mouth”

you place the overly saucy piece of shrimp on your spoon before quickly flicking it anD-

“oh shiT” you laugh when it hits tae’s forehead before plopping down onto the table

“you did that on purpose!” he groans playfully and reaches up to wipe the sauce off his forehead with a napkin

“i did not!!! i just have terrible aim!!!”

taehyung pops the shrimp into his mouth and hums happily

this is definitely a muCh better dinner than a bag of m&ms

“aw, they only gave us one fortune cookie!” you push your bottom lip out in a pout as you rummage through the plastic bag in hopes of finding another fortune cookie “it looks like we’re going to have to split this one…”

you unwrap the cookie before holding it out for tae

he grips the other side and-

snap

the fortune is stuck in taehyung’s portion of the cookie and his eyes lighT up in excitement

“it’s probably going to say something stupid like how you have to look inside yourself to find the true meaning of life” he snorts and pulls the slip of paper out

“either that or something like ‘you’re going to die in 24 hours’” you raise a brow and inspect your half of the cookie before popping it into your mouth

oW

that cut into your gums a little bit

:-(

tae unfolds it and gives it a quick read

‘☺ the love of your life is right in front of your eyes ☺’

his dark brows knit together once he reads it and his eyes slowly trail up from the slip of paper to right across from him to where you’re sitting

oh boy

“well?” you swallow your bite and reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand “what does it say?”

tae doesn’t know why he’s nervous to tell you what it says

his eyes widen in panic when you reach out to take it from him and he quickly smacks your hand away

“ow!!!!” you scowl and cradle your hand “what was that for??”

“it’s my fortune!! if you read it… it won’t come true!!”

“that’s literally not how it works-“

“dinner break is over! let’s get back to work” tae tucks the fortune into his breast pocket before popping the cookie into his mouth and dusting his hands off

“fine, you weirdo.” you roll your eyes playfully as you start cleaning up the empty takeout boxes

‘the love of your life is right in front of your eyes’

he watches as you hum to yourself and tie the straps of the flimsy plastic bag together before getting up to toss it away

tae snorts quietly and shakes his head

love of my life my aSS

it’s not a big deal

fortune cookies are stupid anyways

“-and with that being said, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations.” you mouth the words along with tae as he finishes up his presentation

you immediately start applauding after his concluding statement and tae smiles brightly

“yes!!!!! that was so good!!!” you laugh lightly when tae bows and blows kisses into the audience (aka just you)

you let out a yawn before reaching up to rub at your bleary eyes “now that we’re done with your presentation we should probably get some shut-eye.” you let out anoTher yawn as you check the time on your laptop

jeez louiSe

it’s 5:14am

the two of you have to get up at 8 and you’re definitely not looking forward to that

“goodnight, tae!” you turn to glance at tae over your shoulder as you step out of the washroom

the two of you decided to do your nighttime routine together just to save some time

you pause when you get to your bedroom and furrow your brows “or… good morning? good-might? goodnighting?”

“you’re delirious. go to bed.” tae snorts and waves you off as he turns off the bathroom light “thanks again, y/n”

“anytime, tae”

your door closes and the light flickers off

taehyung stares at your bedroom door for a couple for seconds

“you’re not so bad, y/l/n.” he mutters to himself with a smile before walking into his bedroom and closing the door “you’re not bad at all.”

oooOOh boy

you’ve never felt so drained in your entire life

you let out a yawn as you make your way to the kitchen before rubbing at your sore jaw with a scowl

that was a big yawn and you were [this] close to getting lockjaw

you hit your snooze button a couple of times this morning  

you’re exhAusted from staying up all night helping tae with his presentation but you need to get some food in your system before you head out for the day

your nose twitches when you smell,,…,. burning.,.,,. why,,.., why do you smell burning.,,..,

your heart immediately starts to race as you quicken your pace

did you leave something in the oven last night??

impossible

you didn’t usE the oven last night

maybe taehyung left something on???

jEsus of course he left something on

he’s going to set this place on fire and-

“hey, i was wondering when you were going to get up! you’re usually halfway through a bowl of cereal by this time.”

needless to say

you are nothing short of shOCKed when you see tae with a tea towel slung over his shoulder padding around the kitchen as if this was a normal thing for him

what is going on

he pulls a stool out for you and nudges you over so that you take a seat

oh god

is this what a stroke feels like?

are you.,., literally having a stroke right now?

“sorry about the burning smell. i guess the crumbs in the toaster were starting to clog up the thing so when i popped your bagel into it and turned it on all the crumbs starting getting burnt… but your bagel made it out alive!” taehyung smiles and sets your bagel down in front of you

one side is smeared with cream cheese and the other is smeared with your homemade cinnamon butter

just the way you like it

huh

“coffee?”

“what?” you blink owlishly at taehyung and he raises the coffee pot in his hand

“…coffee? one cream two sugars, right?”

“right, yeah. uh, yes please. thank you.” you smile meekly and taehyung nods before pouring some coffee into your mug

you lean over a little to glance at the sink

all the dishes are drying on the drying rack

there are no dirty dishes in the sink

the counters are spotless and polished

and you’re pretty sure you can smell some floral air freshener in here

what

is

going

ON

“here you go-“ taehyung hands you your mug before pointing to the fridge “also, i, um, packed lunch for you today-“

oH

you figured it out

you know why he’s being so nice to you

you’re a genius!!!!

“-to make up for that one time i ate it and you almost cried over it-“

“what did you break?” you interrupt taehyung and he raises a brow at your accusatory tone

“what are you talking about?”

“what… did you break? did you damage something? is that why you’re being so nice? so that later on when you tell me you like kicked a hole through your wall or something i won’t be able to get mad at you because you made breakfast for me anD packed lunch for me…”

“i didn’t break anything, y/n. calm down.” taehyung snorts and shakes his head as he takes a bite of his own bagel

he swallows his bite

“i just wanted to say thank you for helping me yesterday.” he shrugs and walks over to take a seat on the stool next to you

you swiVel around so that you can face him

taehyung does the same

since you two are sitting so close together that means his knee is sandwiched in between yours

“you wanted to thank me… that’s it?”

“mhm”

“there’s no ulterior motive?”

he purses his lips and shakes his head “not that i can think of.”

“…so you’re not going to throw some sneaky party or anything-“

“y/n, this is me trying to be nice. don’t question it.” taehyung reaches over to pinch your cheek before giving your knee a gentle pat “now, c’mon! eat up!”

tae knew that the presentation was coming up soon

but now that he’s literally about to present it he feels like time went by waY too quickly

he doesn’t know if he’s been so nervous in his entire life

he knows it’s just a 10 minute presentation but he hates, absolutely dreAds giving presentations

especially solo presentations!!! in front of like 200+ people!!!!!

goD

he needs to stress-chew on some gum

nothing like good ol strawberry flavoured gum to calm his nerves

he unzips his backpack and shoves his arm into it

his brows knit together in confusion when his fingers brush over a foreign object in his backpack

he pulls out what appears to be a little stack of flashcards held together with a ribbon

there’s a little sticky note on the top of the stack and tae flips it upside right to read it

tae: these might come in handy! good luck today - i know you can do it. - y/n ☺

oh

you made presentation flashcards for him

when did you even put these in his bag?

when did you find time to make these for him??

taehyung pulls the ribbon off and flicks through the flashcards briefly

wow

you wrote down every single one of the important points down on the cards

you really did that for him

wow

“kim taehyung?”

taehyung swallows thickly when he hears his name being called

he clears his throat after making his way to the front of the room

his lips pull up into a friendly smile and he stares into the ocean of people “today, i’m going to be talking about the history of mesopotamian art in relation to its cultural development…”

it’s weird

the one thing calming him down isn’t the strawberry gum

it’s the thought of you

so

the presentation is actually going fairly well

tae nearly dropped his flashcards at one point but thank god he didn’t because that would have been a nightmare to have to reorganise

but yes

so far so good

he’s actually about to wrap up the presentation which is giving him a great sense of relief because he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a nervous breakdown if he stands up here for any longer than 10 minutes

“-and with that being said-“ taehyung freezes when he suddenly sees you sitting all the way in the back of the lecture hall

what the heck

what are you doing here?

he haTes that he feels his heart skip a beat when you give him a little wave and a thumbs up

he clears his throat and offers the prof a sheepish smile before continuing on and tapping his spacebar to get to the final slide “-uh, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations. thank you.”

he lets out a breath of relief when the audience breaks into scattered applause

and unsurprisingly you stand up and bounce up and down excitedly aND clap the moSt enthusiastically before giving a little ‘woohoo!!!!!��

god

you are such a dork

…he loves it

the first thing taehyung sees when he leaves the lecture hall is your smiling face

he’s about to ask you what the heCk you’re doing here but he doesn’t get a chance to because-

“hey, you! you did so well!!!!” you squeal excitedly and pull tae down for a quick congratulatory hug

his eyes widen in surprise but he finds himself hugging you back almost instinctively

he wraps an arm around your waist tightly and can’t help but wonder why his first instinct isn’T to shove you away and tell you to cut it out

“i… literally couldn’t have done it without you but- what are you even doing here? don’t you have class right now?”

“i would not miss your mesopotamian art history presentation for the world, my friend. of course i had to come and support you!” you give his arm a playful punch before checking the time on your watch “i actually have… three minutes to get to my next class so i have to go but i’ll see you at home?”

“yeah, yeah. i’ll… see you at home.”

taehyung smiles softly when he sees your backpack bouncing up and down from your frantic movements as you scurry towards the exit

that was really nice of you actually

you didn’t have to come and watch him do his presentation but you did

yeah

that was very nice of you

he blinks twice

son of a bitch

it’s not.,.. possible

taehyung stares blankly ahead before furrowing his brows and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck

there’s no way he’s harbouring feelings for you

gross!!!!!!

you’re y/n!!!!

you’re his dorKy ass roommate who he would never hang out with if it weren’t for the fact that you guys lived together

you’re y/n

you’re y/n who snorts when you laugh too hard at one of his jokes

you’re y/n whose idea of fun is watching a nature documentary about dolphins or sitting on the couch doing crossword puzzles

you’re y/n who’s always asking him if he wants a snack or one of your juice boxes or if he needs any help with his work

you’re y/n who uses a wooden spoon as a guitar as you bounce around the kitchen jamming out suPer hard while making dinner (he’s never going to let you live that one down)

you’re y/n who stayed up til 5 in the morning helping him with his presentation even thought you literally didn’t need to do that

you’re y/n and taehyung is 99.9% sure that he likes you much more than a roommate or a friend should

he swallows thickly

o god

he likes you

“…seriously?!” taehyung groans loudly and smiles sheepishly when the people around him give him weird looks

oops

and so

as seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours and hours turn into days and days turn into weeks

you find that you become a lot closer to tae than you thought was possible

it turns out that when he’s not being a complete dick he’s actually a very sweet and caring guy

he always holds the door open for you when you guys come home together (his classes end earlier than yours so he just waits til you get off class so you guys can catch the bus together)

he’s always offering to make you a cup of coffee or a little fruit salad whenever you’re busy studying because he knows you get peckish when you’re working hard

not to mention

you can’t remember the last time you had to toast an extra bagel for one of his special friends

you can’t remember the last time you nagged him to take the trash out or wash the dishes or do the laundry

you can’t remember the last time he did something that irritated the heck out of you

most of the things that he does nowadays make you smile and laugh and just feel all waRm and cozy inside

see?

it just took a little bit of time but you knew that eventuaLLy you guys would get along

you truly are living your best life

taehyung doesn’t know how you managed to convince him to watch another one of your dumb nature documentaries (it miGht have something to do with the fact that he definitely has a super big crush on you) but to be honest it’s really not as boring as he thought it would be

“wait, i don’t get it.” tae shakes his head before glancing at you for a brief second “seahorses are monogamous? are there seahorse weddings?? can seahorses get married????”  

“mm, yeah” you hum absentmindedly before popping a kernel of popcorn into your mouth

“for real???”

you reach over to pat tae’s hand gently as a gentle reminder to shut the fuck up or i’ll cut u and it looks like you’re waY too wrapped up in the nature doc because you don’t pull your hand away

“seahorses mate for life, and when they travel, they hold each others’ tails…” tae’s eyes flicker down to your hand resting on top of his and he lets out a little sigh

he kind of wants to ʰᵒˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʰᵃⁿᵈ

he turns to look at you again and feels his heart skip a beat

you’re not even doing anything but you’re still so cute

he honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to do because this is truly the first time he’s ever felt this way towards someone BUT mushy feelings are suPer duper lame so there’s that

he turns to look back at the tv

“do you think i would win in a fight against a beaver? i think i could take a beaver any day.” tae mutters through a mouthful of popcorn

he keeps his eyes glued on the screen but nudges your side with his elbow “hey, i asked you a question-“ all of a sudden you’re slumping over and your head drops onto his shoulder

he freezes almost immediately and turns slowly to look down at you

huh

you fell asleep

what time is it?

you guys have watched like four episodes of this docuseries so he can assume that it’s already pretty late

he puts the bowl of popcorn down before glancing around for his phone

he curses quietly when he sees that it’s on the coffee table but it’s just out of reach

you know when your dog or cat falls asleep on your lap

taehyung thinks that this is kind of like that

except instead of his cute dog it’s his cute roommate and he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up because you look pretty comfortable

he’ll just let you snooze for a little while longer and then he’ll wake you up so that the two of you can go to your rooms

no biggie!

he lets out a little yawn

it wouldn’t kill him to take a little snooze as well riGht

n…o….. b…i…g….g…i…e….

tae’s brows furrow in discomfort when he tries to flip over onto his other side

why,,.,. can’t he move

he sniffles and reaches up to rub at his nose before wrapping his arm back around his pillow

hm

why does his pillow feel so firm all of a sudden

tae gives his pillow a gentle squeeze

it’s like soft and firm at the same time

he peels one eye open just to check-

oh jESUS

he jolts in surprise when he realises that he’s not in his room and he’s not cuddling up to his pillow

he’s still on the couch with you and you guys are definitely snuggled up together and he was definitely groping your ass three seconds ago

his thigh is tucked in between your legs

you’re using his bicep as a pillow which explains why he couldn’t move his arm earlier

he’s sure that his heart is going to bust out of his chest because

well

hi there

u look very cute when you’re asleep

your cheeks are warm n rosy (presumably from being wrapped up in tae’s arms all night) and your hair is a little mussed up

and your face is smooshed against his bicep which is adorable

the tip of his nose bumps against yours and he feels his cheeks flush red at how close the two of you are

he’d only have to move like an inch to kiss u

you grumble something under your breath as you stir and suddenly you’re changing positions and turning around so that your back is pressed against tae’s chest

tae keeps his free arm lifted so that he doesn’t accidentally grope you again or anything lol

to his complete and uTter surprise

you reach up and grab tae’s arm before wrapping it around yourself and tae feels his heart beating a mile a minute

you’re so soft and warm and you smell so sweet and it wouldn’t hurt to just.,., doze here with you for a little while longer

taehyung can’t help but nuzzle into the back of your neck before pulling you closer and wrapping his arm tighter around you

yeah

just a little while longer

it’s about an hour later when you peel open your cruSty eyes

you let out a soft yawn and wince at the light streaming in through the blinds

huh

you must’ve fallen asleep on the couch yesterday night

also

…why does your blanket feel like an arm

you glance down and your eyes widen in surprise when you see what is inDeed an arm wrapped tightly around your waist

oh my god

you’re cuddling with taehyung

oH mYFHAJKF

“tae-“ you tap his arm and wiggle around in his grip-

what the

what is that?

there’s something hard pressing into your bum

it kind of feels like-

oH

OH MY GOD

“oh my goD tae-“ you shove his arm away before rolling off the couch with a thuMp and tae shoOts up from the couch from all the commotion

“wha- what’S happening what’s happening-“ his voice is significantly deeper and raspier considering he was sleeping very peacefully like a second ago but you can barely think about that because-

“gO take care of your thING you freAK-“

tae immediately looks down and-

oH

his face flushes bright red and he grabs a pillow to cover himself

“i can’t HELP IT oh my god you’re such a pruDE-“

to say the least

this has been a very chaotic start to the morning

“cinnamon toast crunch…” you mutter to yourself as you look over the grocery list in your hands

usually you take care of the groceries and tae just pays you back for half of them but for some reason he insisted on tagging along with you today

but you’re starting to regret your decision of letting him come with you because going grocery shopping with tae is like going grocery shopping with a five year old

“y/n, check it out! a two for one deal on m&m’s!!!!!” you look over your shoulder to see tae looking vEry excited at being in the candy aisle

you let out a sigh and shake your head before pointing to the piece of paper in your hand

“we don’t need m&m’s, it’s not on the grocery list that i meticulously curated-“

“head’s up!” you immediately duck when tae suddenly huRLS two bags of m&ms over your head and right into the cart

“tae! you could’ve hit me!!!!”

“but i didn’t”

“but you couLD have”

“…but i didn’t!” he chirps and nudges you aside a little so that the both of you can push the cart

tae’s eyes flicker down to where you’re both gripping the handlebar and he moves his hand a little closer so that his pinky is pressed right up against yours

and surprisingly enough

you don’t flinch or move your hand

tae turns his head to hide the giddy smile on his face

heehee

“you’re going to get us kicked out of the store if you keep goofing around like that, you know”

“they can’t kick us out - who else is going to buy their insanely overpriced organic vegan honey-cinnamon yogurt?” tae picks the tub of yogurt up and inspects it before putting it back down “i don’t know who else would be crazy enough to spend $18 on yogurt.”

“you’re the one who eats half a tub in a sitting so it looks like i’m not the only crazy one here.” your eyes scan over the shelves and they light up when you spot your favourite cereal calling out your name

“why can’t we get froot loops instead?” tae purses his lips as you chuck the box into the cart

“because froot loops are gross and they’re full of artificial flavours and weird preservatives-”

“cinnamon toast crunch is like a having a bowl of diabetes in the morning-“

“there’s 2.1 grams of fibre in it sO-“

“but froot loops are multicoloured!!!!!”

it’s funny

the two of you are bickering like a married couple and tae can’t help but feel some sort of odd satisfaction from that

>:-)

“tae, did you get the orange juice with pulp or without pulp??” you glance over your shoulder to see tae at the ice cream freezers

“without pulp!”

you hear the faint slam of the freezer door but you don’t think too much about it as you unzip your wallet to find your rewards card

you turn to look at him again

“and are the bagels-“

“yes, i got one bag of cinnamon-raisin and one bag of plain bagels, don’t worry-“

“here you go-“ you hand your rewards card over to the cashier with a smile and she scans it before handing it back to you

you continue to place the groceries onto the conveyer belt but you look up for a second when you notice the lady stopped scanning your things

she pauses for a moment as her eyes flicker from you to tae (who is coming back with a tub of ice cream behind his back)

you’re about to ask her if your card didn’t work or something but then-

“you two make a very cute couple.” she murmurs discreetly and your entire face immediately flames up at the comment

oh

oH

“who, me and him?“ you laugh lightly and shake your head “trust me, we’re-“ your eyes widen in surprise when taheyung’s arms suddenly snake around your waist from behind “what are you-“

“thank you very much, i think we make a cute couple too.” he presses his cheek against yours before not so subtly sliding a pint of ice cream onto the conveyer belt “but let me tell you, susan… if i was a couple years older, i think we’d make a much cuter couple.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes because there’s no way someone would fall for a line as cheesy as that

susan immediately bursts into giggles “oh, you’re awful!”

wow

apparently you were very wrong about that

“he really is” you snort and nudge your elbow into his stomach to try and get him to release you but he only tightens his grip around you “also, put the ice cream back because we’re already way over our budget-“

“aw, c’mon, baby… won’t you buy a tub of ice cream for your darling boyfriend?” tae pouts and nudges his nose into your reddening cheek

you literally don’T know why he’s doing this and you also don’t know why you haven’t pushed him away and knocked him over the head for acting all crazy

“cut it out, you weirdo. put the ice cream back-“

“you know what? the ice cream is on me. you two are just too adorable!” susan swipes the tub over the scanner before sliding it into the bag and you and tae exchange glances

huh

he was only acting all cutesy to try to convince you to buy the ice cream but it looks like it worked on susan instead

well

either way he’s happy!!

tae pinches your side to get your attention

“you think if we make out in front of her she’ll give us the groceries for free?”

,.,..oh my god

“i’m really glad you decided to help me out with folding the laundry because-“

“check it out - i’m a fruit fly!!”

you look over to see that tae has one of your bras strapped around his head so that the cups are facing upwards and your cheeks immediately grow pink when you see him bouncing around the living room like a big ol dummy

“jesus- tae, nO” you groan and toss the shirt you’re in the middle of folding aside before holding your hand out “give it to me!!”

the two of you are standing at opposite ends of the couch and you can practically hear the cowboy showdown music in your head

“you’re going to have to rip it away from my cold… dead… bODY-“ taehyung breaks into a sprint and you immediately do the same

when he sprints past the laundry basket full of freshly dried undergarments he digs his grubbY hand into it and pulls out a-

“hey, you should wear something like this around the apartment more often.” tae gawks at the verY thin vERY lacy burgundy thong hanging around his finger “instead of those dumb fruit panties-“

“get over here so i can kiCK your ASS-“

he starts cackling when you begin to chase him around the room again only this time you’re hurling balled up socks at his head  

“and… checkmate.” taehyung knocks namjoon’s chess piece out of the way before picking it up and placing it on his side of the table

namjoon furrows his brows and tilts his head as he looks down at the chessboard

what in the world

“that- you can’t do that. your move didn’t make any sense.”

tae purses his lips and looks down at the board

“…yeah, i don’t actually know how to play chess.” taehyung chirps “i don’t even know what checkmate means”

namjoon snorts

“okay!” tae turns around and leans against the front counter when you return clutching a book to your chest “i finally found the book that i was looking for so i’m ready to go when you are!”

“i just won a game of chess against namjoon” tae points out with a bright smile and namjoon squaWks in offence

“you did noT-“

“i said checkmate so that means i won”

“that literally- get out of my library.” namjoon deadpans and points towards the door

he takes chess very seriously and he will not be riDICULED in his library!!!!!!!!

“-all i’m saying is that we didn’t have to come all the way to the library for some dumb book that you could’ve easily bought online-“

“i like holding a physical copy of a book when i’m reading!! plus, i told you you didn’t have to come with me” you nod in acknowledgement when tae holds the door open for you “why thank you, good sir”

“no problem dweeb”  

you immediately stop in your tracks when you notice the thunderclouds in the sky and the drizzling of rain

frick

you didn’t know it was going to rain today

you didn’t bring an umbrella out!!!!!

“oh, shoot… it looks like we’re just going to have to wait out the storm and then head home…” you purse your lips as you look up at the dark clouds

you stick your hand out from underneath the canopy and let out a sigh as a couple fAT droplets splatter down on your palm

tae sticks his hand out and lets out a hum “don’t be ridiculous!” he scoffs “here, you’re going to use my jacket as an umbrella-“ tae takes his jacket off and drapes it around you so that it’s covering you  

“but you’re going to get wet?” you pull it up slightly to make sure that it’s going to keep your hair from getting wet

“that’s where you’re wrong, y/l/n. you’re going to be my umbrella-“ tae squats down in front of you and you immediately let out a snort

no way

no way!!!!

“if you’re implying that you piggyback me the rest of the way home you’re crazy” you shake your head and resist the urge to kiCk his ass and knock him over “you’ll drop me!!!!”

tae looks back at you with a raised brow

“i’m not going to drop you, i promise!! come on!!! riDE ME”

you gawk and lean over to slap a hand over tae’s mouth when a couple of people exiting the library give you guys weird looks

you laugh nervously and give them a thumbs up

well

it looks like you don’t have a choice

“if you drop me, i’ll kill you.” you grumble as you hop up onto tae’s back and hold the jacket out so that the both of you are somewhat shielded

you yelp when he stands up straight and bounces you slightly to adjust you

he squeezes the underside of your thighs playfully

“not if i kill u first, nerd”

you don’t know why

but you feel like the vibe with jungkook tonight is a little different

usually when you guys hang out (you’ve hung out a couple times already but this is the first time you’ve been in such an intimate and private environment) are always wrapped up in playful banter but.,.,. tonight is just.,.,. different

it’s not a big deal but

you don’t know how else to describe it

you invited him over for dinner and a movie and just to hang out in general

and you’re in the middle of choosing another movie to watch buT you guys can’t decide on whether you should go with captain america or iron man first

“this is the hardest decision i think i’ve ever had to make in my entire life.” you frown before pursing your lips in thought

“i honestly don’t care because i’ve watched these movies like ten times each.” jungkook snorts and scoots a little closer to you as you continue to flick through the choices

you let out a little sigh of frustration

choosing a damn movie should noT be this difficult

“just choose something. anything.” jungkook says a liTtle more aggressively than intended

you turn to glance at you and he flashes you a smile and shifts closer until the side of his thigh is pressed up right against yours

hm

“i mean, i’m biased because captain america is my favourite but if you wanna watch iron man i-!” jungkook hooks a finger under your chin and turns your head before pressing his lips against yours to shut you up and you know what

it woRks

you didn’t think this was going to happen but you’re not complaining

you pull away quickly and gesture to the tv “w-we haven’t chosen a-“

“shush” jungkook pulls you back down and you twitch when you feel his hands slide down your back

your eyes flutter shut and your grip loosens around the remote and jungkook pulls it from your hand before tossing it onto the sofa chair blindly

you’re so lost in jungkook that you don’t even hear the front door opening

“oh, so you get to do it on the couch but i don’t?”

you pull away agAin and jungkook lets out a little huff before resting his head back against the couch

“tae! i didn’t… think you would be home so-“

“no way.” taehyung gawks when he sees who you’re straddling “jeon jungkook??? seriously????” he snorts as he kicks his shoes off “i mean, i knew you had low standards, but i didn’t think they were this low.”

“kim, nice to see you too.” jungkook mutters sarcastically and clenches his jaw

tae rolls his eyes almost immediately

“looks like someone still doesn’t know how to take a damn joke”

you clear your throat

it seems like there’s a little bit of tension in the air

maybe it’s time to break that tension with a jokE

“so like do you guys only address other people by their surnames or-“

“how do you two know each other anyways?” tae keeps his glare on jungkook

you let out a sigh and crawl off of jungkook because it lookS like you’re not going to be getting any more alone time with him anytime soon

“we met at the sneaky party that you threw.” you prop your elbow up on the top of the couch and lean against your fist before tucking one of your legs under the other “remember? you made us play seven minutes in heaven and-“

god damnit

tae wants to punch himself in the face

“oh, rigghhhttt.”

he should’ve gone in there with you instead of setting you up with jungkook

so

this is his owN fault

if he hadn’t invited jungkook in the first place then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

or maybe this is your fault!!!

if yOU didn’t come home that night then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

“well, don’t worry about me! you guys keep doing your thing.” taehyung smiles sweetly before disappearing towards the bedrooms

you wait to hear the faint click of his door closing aaaanndd-

click

“now… where were we?” jungkook tugs on your wrist and you smile shyly before moving back to your original position

as nice as it is making out with jungkook on your couch you can’t help but think about what taehyung has up his sleeve

because there was something about his smile that didn’t sit right with-

vrROOOOOOOOOOOO

“oh, jesus-“ you pull away from jungkook in surprise when taehyung suddenly pops out from the hallway with the vacuum cleaner

“don’t mind me! y/n sheds a LOT so i’m just cleaning up all of her hair!!” taehyung rolls the vacuum underneath jungkook’s legs before whistling a happy tune to himself “just wanna make this experience as comfortable as possible for you two lovebirds!”

“do you have to do this now???” jungkook groans and taehyung pauses before reaching down to turn the vacuum off

“you’re right! i won’t do this now-“

“-god, thank you-“

“i’ll get to it after you leave! what are we watching, folks??” jungkook purses his lips in frustration when taehyung wiggles his way in between you and him

he retracts his arm down from the couch slowly

“you know what, i should probably leave…” jungkook glances over at you with a small smile “maybe i can come back when… you know.”

“yeah, that’s probably for the best…” you laugh uneasily

this is only slighTly embarrassing

“aw, come on! the more the merrier!” tae pushes his bottom lip out in a childish pout “how could you say no to iron man??”

“i have some things to do anyway. it was good seeing you, kim.” jungkook pats his knee before getting up off the couch

“mm… i can’t say the same.” tae shrugs and brings his attention back to the screen

you can’t help but roll your eyes at how immature he’s being and you get up from the couch as well “i’ll walk you to the door, jungkook-“

“he’s perfectly capable of walking to the door by himself- oW” tae hisses when you reach down and pinch his ear to shut him up

“so… i’ll see you around?” jungkook smiles shyly and scratches the back of his neck after he gets his shoes on

“mhm!” you nod and reach over to pinch a piece of fluff off his shirt before getting up on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek “i’ll text ya”

taehyung turns his head and watches you and jungkook talking to each other by the front door

he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth and chews on it anxiously

this sucks

do you like jungkook?

obviouSly you do because you were sucking his face off when he walked in here

gRGRGs

this sucks >:-(

whatever

you’re super lame anyway so it’s not a huge loss

he can just.,.,,. he can just find someone else

tae looks away quickly when he sees you giving jungkook a kiss on the cheek

that’s not fair

how come u won’t kiss him on the cheek

he deserves cheek kisses as muCh as jungkook

maybe he was dumb to think that he had a chance with you

either that or he realised faR too late that he has feelings for you

:-(

the loved-up smile immediately drops from your face the moment jungkook disappears into the elevators and you shut the front door

“i think i’m going to take a little snooze. all that vacuuming tuckered me ouT” taehyung lets out a yawn and gets up off the couch

your body seems like it’s on autopilot mode as you practically stoRm down the hallway and follow him to his room

he’s craZy if he thinks you’re going to let him get away with doing what he just did

“by the way, since i did the vacuuming today, it’s only fair that you do it for the next month - don’t you think so?”

“what the hell was that?” you snAp as you cross your arms “you totally sabotaged my date with jungkook!”

taehyung plops down on his bed and leans back against the headboard before pulling his phone out “i have no idea what you’re talking about”

“we were having a really nice time together-“

“yeah, it sure looked like you were enjoying yourself considering you were practically sucking his face off-“

“and you just swoOp in and start vacuuming???? and-“

“you know what, y/l/n? take it up with the complaint department of kim taehyung.”

you pause

what the hell is he talking about

“wh- what are you talking about?”

“you heard me. call the complaint department.” taehyung raises his phone and wiggles it

fine

you’ll play along with whatever stupid game this is

you dial tae’s number and bring your phone up to your ear all while maintaining eye contact with tae who looks vEry smug at the moment

ring

taehyung’s phone buzzes in his hand

ring

he clears his throat and hits the answer button before bringing it up to his ear

ring

“hello! this is kim taehyung headquarters, you’re speaking to secretary kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?” he greets brightly and flashes you a bright smile and a thumbs up

you have literally never felt so ridiculous in your entire life  

you let out a quiet breath to calm yourself down

just play along!!! just play aloNG  

“i… i would like to file a complaint about kim taehyung tO the kim taehyung complaint department!”

“great, can i get a name?”

“y/n y/l/n.” you can’t believe you’re taking this phone call seriously

taehyung leans back against his headboard and crosses one ankle over the other

“alright, miss y/l/n. i’ll connect you to the kim taehyung complaint department right now. i’m going to put you on hold now, if that’s okay?”

“taehyung, you’re wasting my TIME-“

taehyung literally puts you on hoLD and tosses his phone aside and you scoff when your phone starts playing an overly-cheerful piano version of twinkle twinkle little star  

you glance over at tae

he pokes his tongue into his cheek uninterestedly as he inspects his nails  

…

“…taehyung, i swear to god-“  

“shush!“ taehyung holds a finger out to shut you up “you don’t want to miss your call, do you?”

“jesus christ.” you mutter and pinch the bridge of your nose

this is ridiculous

taehyung picks his phone back up

he clears his throat

“hello! this is the kim taehyung complaint department of kim taehyung headquarters. you’re speaking to head manager kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?”

you roll your eyes before shaking your head

“okAy now that you’re finally giving me a chance to talk about-“

“oOh, sorry!” taehyung winces “my lunch break just started. you know how it is.” he pushes his bottom lip out in a mocking pout before trailing his pointer finger down from his eye to his cheek “try calling again in an hour! byeeeeee.” taehyung hangs uP on you before tossing his phone aside

UH

whAT-

WHAKJFHS

he looks over at you and raises a brow “…any success with the hotline?”

oOH

oHHDKSJHKSJD

he drives you CRAZY

you don’t know what happened!!!

he’s been so sweet to you for like a month and now it’s like the taehyung you met five months ago

and now he’s calling you y/l/n again and he’s making snide comments and being ruDe and wow

you should’ve known it wasn’t going to last forever

bAck to normal

this sucks

you honest to god don’t know what happened

whatever

if he’s going to be a stubborn prick there’s nothing you can do about it

taehyung lets out a breath once you close his door

and he can’t help but think:

maybe this is a wake up call

you hanging with jungkook and all

maYbe this is god’s way of telling him to make a move otherwise he’s going to regret it

he’s liked you for nearly a month and he literally hasn’t done anything about it so mAYbe this was a swift kick to his ass telling him to man up and dO something

“yeah.” taehyung whispers to himself

yeah

…he’s going to tell you that he likes you!!!!

and he’s going to do it as soon as possible

so

uh

it’s been about a week and a bit since your faiLure of a date with jungkook

he hasn’t made a move to reach out to you which is kind of odd

you diD leave him a text message but he never got back to you and you didn’t want to be that person who double-texted and just radiated desperation  so you didn’t do anything else

maybe he was just weirded out by tae or something

speaking of tae

you pull your phone out of your pocket when you feel it buzzing and you bring it up to your ear

“hello?”

“where do we keep all those takeout menus?” you hear some clattering on the other end of the line and you safely assume that tae’s going through all the drawers

“y/n!”

“in the-“

“oh, never mind! i found them. okay, see you soon… raccoon!”

you snort and roll your eyes

taehyung noticed that you and namjoon always said see you later alligator and in a while crocodile to each other instead of saying goodbye and he wanted to be a part of it too buT namjoon was like if you still the alligator thing from me i will give you a million paper cuts

so he came up with an alternative and that was see you soon..,.,. raccoon

it’s cute that he tried

“y/n!!”

“toodle-loo kangaroO” you hum before hanging up and slipping your phone back into your pocket

“y/n!” you turn to glance over your shoulder and you feel your heart beginning to race almost immEdiately when you see jungkook jogging towards you

oh god

what are you wearing today

you look down

jeans and… is this tae’s sweatshirt?????

oops

he must’ve mixed your guys’ laundry up agAin

“hey!” you smile brightly and wipe your sweaTy palms down on your jeans

you don’t know why you’re so nervous all of a sudden

you’ve literally had his tongue in your mouth before so

okay ew

“hey, i was hoping to bump into you! i’m sorry i haven’t texted you all week, i’ve been like, super busy.”

you’re far too infatuated with jungkook’s pretty brown eyes to notice that he smirks and nods in acknowledgement at another girl behind you

“oh! um, no, don’t worry about it.” you laugh nervously “look, i’m really sorry about what happened the last time we hung out… i didn’t think tae would be so… y’know…” you trail off awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck

“it’s totally fine, don’t worry about it!” jungkook shakes his head and smiles brightly at you “that’s actually why i wanted to talk to you… would you maybe be interested in a makeup date? i don’t want to seem too eager but… are you free tonight? maybe we can pick up from where we left off…?” he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you flush almost immediately

he wants to hang out toniGht

you need at least two to three business days to prepare when you make plans with someone

oH but it’s jungkook.,,.,.

“uh, yeah! yes, i’m super free tonight. i mean, not like, not that like i didn’t have plans or anything but-”

“great! i’ll come and pick you up at your place around… 7 o’clock?”

well

it looks like you officially have plans tonight

here’s the thing

taehyung has decided that tonight is the night

tonight is the night where he’s going to tell you that he might have a teensy crush on you and he’s just hoping it’ll work out

he’s never really had to.,,. confess to someone before considering he’s usually the one being confessed to

so this is a whole new game for him

he’s sure it’ll be fine though!!

he made sure to vacuum and dust the apartment and just make everything a lot neater before you got back

he timed it perfectly so that the pizza would get here ten minutes before you got home so that when you guys dig in you won’t burn the roof of your mouths with hoT cheese

he even picked up a bouquet of roses for you just because he felt like that would be something you’d like!!

and now he’s busy lighting candles because he wants everything to be perfect for you

tae perks up when he hears the front door slam shut and the faint jingling of your keys

you’re home!!!!!!

hehe

he nearly trips over himself as he rushes out from the kitchen

he glances over his shoulder at his romantic setup just to double check that he didn’t accidentally light anything on fire lol

“hey!” he greets a liTTle too enthusiastically before clearing his throat

okAy

keep it casual

“i mean… hey.” his voice deepens a little bit but his boxy grin returns to his face when you look over at him “there’s an extra large pizza sitting on the table with our names on it anD i even ordered that garlic aioli you like so much-“

“did we plan something tonight?” you furrow your brows in confusion and wrack through your brain to see if you remember making dinner plans with tae or not

huh

usually you remember these types of things

taehyung falters before pointing at the tv over his shoulder “uh, well, no, we didn’t plan anything but i thought that maybe we could have some dinner and maybe watch another one of those nature documentaries again!”

if he’s lucky maybe you’ll fall asleep midway through the documentary which will result in an accidental-but-totally-on-purpose snuggle on the couch again

>:-)

you look over at the tv and notice that he’s already turned netflix on

your favourite candle is burning away on the coffee table

there’s a bowl of warm, buttery popcorn (your favourite) mixed with mini peanut butter cups (his favourite)

aw

that’s awfully nice of tae

you feel a twingE of guilt knowing that you’re about to shut him down because you already have plans

but you’re sure he’ll understand

“that’s super nice of you and all but i actually already have plans…” you smile sheepishly and scratch your temple

the bright smile starts to fade from tae’s face and he purses his lips slightly “oh…”

that’s kind of a bummer

he really wanted to spend the night with you

tonight was supposed to be the night after all

“maybe another time! you can invite some of your pals over and hang with them! no parties, though. i’m serious.” you tease and press your hand against tae’s chest to lean against him as you take your shoes off

“right, yeah…” tae reaches up to place his hand over yours and his heart is beating so hard he’s sure you can feel it “are you… going out with namjoon or something?”

“nope - i’m going out with jungkook!”

wait

ur what

taehyung swallows thickly

what do u mean ur going out with jungkook

“considering the fact that you kinda ruined the last date i had with him - he asked me today if i wanted to go out for dinner tonight and i said yes!” you squeal excitedly and give his chest a pat before brushing past him to go to your bedroom

“why… why would you say yes?” tae blurts out

“why wouldn’t i say yes?” you raise a brow at tae before heading over to your closet and starting to rifle through your options “it was kind of a last minute thing so i don’t have a lot of time to get ready but luckily i know jusT what to wear…”

“but like… i ordered a pizza for us?” taehyung doesn’t know why he’s so nervous all of a sudden

“uh-huh - could you turn around for a second? i need to change.”

he wants to ask you to cancel ur plans and hang out with him

he ordered a pizZA for the two of you to share!!!!

he just doesn’t like that you’re hanging out with jungkook because he knoWs there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you and he doesn’t liKE THAT

not to mention

jungkook is a one night stand kind of guy and he’s probably going to bail on you after getting into your pants

the only reason why he’s still spending time with you is because you haven’t had sex with him yet and jungkook isn’t a quitter

taehyung only knows all of this because he lived with the guy last year for crying out loud

jeon jungkook is a young man of many talents and one of them is playing the ‘i’m not like other guys :-)’ card very, veRy well

“tae? could you help me?” taehyung is snapped out of his thoughts by your soft voice and he-

oh wow

god you’re pretty

you’re wearing a baby blue mini dress patterned with little daisies

you reach up to tug at one of the sleeves before turning around and gesturing to the zipper in the back

“oh, uh, yeah.” he steps towards you and you pull your hair aside

taehyung clears his throat as he pulls your zipper up slowly

his eyes flicker up to yours in the mirror

“you look… good. you look really pretty.”

the shyest of smiles tug at the corner of your mouth and you mutter a little ‘thank u’

tae can’t help but wish that you were dressing up for a date with him instead of a date with someone else

“i’ll see you later, tae!”

taehyung lets out a breath as he hears the door slam shut

looks like it’s just dinner for one tonight

he leans over and blows out the candle

you rub your hands together and shiver as you step out of the building

you hop down the stairs happily

it’s definitely a little chilly tonight but you’re not going to let that dampen the mooD

maybe you should’ve brought a cardigan with you

you still have time to go up and get it

but then again, jungkook’ll probably be here soon so you’ll be in the warmth of his heated car in no time

you just have to wait for a little bit!

you sit down on the steps and pick a piece of lint off your dress

and so, you wait

and you wait

and you wait

and you wait and you wait and you wait until you’ve been sitting on the steps for two whole hours

jungkook hasn’t texted

he hasn’t called

you’ve heard absolutely nothing from him

the only reason why you haven’t gone back up to the apartment is because you’re paranoid that if jungkook comes and you’re uP there then he’ll think that you’RE the one who bailed and you definitely don’t want that-

you nearly drop your phone when it starts buzzing in your hand and you don’t know whether to feel angry or relieved to see jungkook’s number on the screen

“hello?” you clear your throat and wrap your arms tighter around yourself

jesus it’s coLd

“y/n, i am so sorry… i completely forgot about dinner tonight… can we reschedule?”

“n-no, it’s okay, it happens to all of us!” you shake your head as you push yourself up off the stairs “i didn’t think i would be so easily forgotten considering the fact that you asked me like four hours ago but-“

you freeze when you hear the sound of someone else’s soft giggle and a faint ‘who’s that, kookie?’ in the background and you immediately pale

is he

is he seriously with someone else right now

“sorry, were you saying something? i think you got cut off.”

you poke your tongue into your cheek and let out a scoff

“…go fuck yourself, kookie.”

you hang up on him before he has the chance to respond and shove your phone back into your purse

jesus

what a jerk!!!!!

you waited two hours for him!!! and it tuRns out he was with someone else the entiRE friggin time

you feel so stupid

the entire elevator ride back up to the apartment you’re thinking of a hundred different ways to castrate jeon jungkook

you would love to just drive your fist riGHT into that absurdly-toned stomach

put some high heels on and jump all over his muscular thighs

maybe even-

“you’re back much earlier than i expected.”

you close the door behind you and double lock it

tae is sitting on the couch still watching the nature docuseries

and it looks like he finished most of the popcorn and peanut-butter cups himself

taehyung furrows his brows as he checks the time on his phone “it’s only-“

“he didn’t come. he forgot about dinner.” you force a smile on your face as you bend down to untie your shoelaces

taehyung frowns

uh oh

“…but you’ve been gone for two hours-“

“because i was waiting outside on the sidewalk-“

“well why didn’t you just come back up-“

“because he said he would pick me up outside, and i didn’t want him to think i bailed on him or anything if i wasn’t waiting for him downstairs.” your voice wavers slightly as you yank your hair down from your high ponytail

taehyung can see that you’re visibly upset and it makes hiM mad that jungkook flaked on his date with you

but at the same time it makes him mad that you said yes to going out with jungkook instead of hanging out with him!!!

he doesn’t know what to think!!!

maybe it’s because he’s eaten like 100 mini peanut butter cups and feels suPer jittery but he’s just vEry confused and frustrated about a lot of things but one thing that he knows for sure is that he likes u a lot and he’s hurt because yoU chose jungkook over him

and he knows that you’re not obligated to hang out with him anD he supposes it’s not fair of him to act so selfishly considering the fact that you don’t know about his feelings for you but stiLL

he’s allowed to wallow in a pool of self-pity for as long as he likes!!!!  

“i’m not surprised he bailed on you.” taehyung mutters to himself and turns the volume up on the tv

you immediately stop in your tracks

oh boy

if you weren’t upset a second ago you’re definitely upset now

you drop your purse to the floor before storming over and grabbing the remote from him and promptly turning the tv off

“hey, i was watching that!” taehyung snaps and reaches over to grab the remote back from you “give it back-“

“why are you such an asshole?!” you hiss and toss the remote aside “for the last couple of months, i’ve been nothing but a wonderful roommate! i cook, i clean, i buy the groceries, i make sure the bills are always paid on time so that you can enjoy your hot lava showers, i do the laundry, i even iron your stupid bandanas for you because i don’t want you walking around with crinkly ass bandanas on your head - and you have repaid me with absolutely nothing!” tears of anger sting at your eyes and you reach up to wipe them away aggressively

taehyung gets up from the couch “jesus, y/n, take it easy-“

“all you do is sit on your ass all day and whine and complain and make mean comments and push me around and leave your shiT everywhere a-and constantly bring girls home and i hate you! i absolutely, 100% hate you with every fibre of my being and i want you out of my goddamn apartment by the end of tomorrow night. i want you out!”

taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise

okay

first of all

ouch

“you don’t hate me.” taehyung shakes his head and gets up from the couch

“i do. i do hate you. like, a lot.” you mumble and cross your arms

he’s quiet for a second and he clenches his jaw  

“fine, here’s what we’re going to do.”

you furrow your brows in confusion as tae pushes the couch to the side of the room before proceeding to push the coffee table to the side as well so that the centre of the living room is bare

“what the hell are you doing??”

“you stand by the front door,” taehyung points towards the door “and i’ll stand way over there by the balcony doors. from this point, there are approximately twelve steps away from both the front door and the balcony doors, so it’s fair. every time you list one reason as to why you hate me, you take a step forward.”

you immediately scoff

“oh, please. i can list a hundred reasons as to why i hate you.“

“however!” taehyung raises a finger to shut you up “if i can defend myself against you, i can take a step forward as well. if i get to the centre of the room before you, i get to stay. if you get to the centre before i do, then i’ll leave.”

“what do you mean defend yourself?? that hardly seems fair-”

“hey, i’m giving you the chance to kick me out. don’t you want to take that chance since you obviously hate me, y/n?” he seethes and clenches his fists at his sides

“you know what? fine. i have a vEry detailed list of reasons why i hate you in my notes app and i’m glad that i finally get to share it with you” you pull your phone out and open up the document

(you made this document within the first month of him moving in but you haven’t actually opened it in a long time so it’s kinDa empty so it looks like you’re going to have to improvise)

taehyung snorts and rolls his eyes as he leans back against the balcony doors “you’re not doing a very good job at hiding your crazy, y/l/n.”

there he goes again with anoTher snarky comment

you are sO ready to win this fight and kick kim taehyung out of your apartment

you ignore his remark and clear your throat before taking one step forward “reason #1: you constantly use my shampoo. it’s my shampoo!!! i bought it with my own money aNd it’s on my side of the tub!!”

“how dare you?” taehyung scoffs “i’m helping you by using your shampoo.”

what the hell is he even talking about

“what- please, enliGhten me.” you snort “how are you helping me by using up all of my shampoo?”

“see, the thing is - you use too much conditioner. i’m a very observant person, and i’ve noticed that since you use too much conditioner every time you wash your hair, you’re always having to buy a new bottle of conditioner way, waY before you’ve finished using up the shampoo. so i’m just helping out by using up all the shampoo so that the ratio of shampoo to conditioner is always consistent! if you think about it, i’m actually helping you out.”

taehyung takes a step forward and you gawk at him before shaking your head “that is noT fair-“

“hey, i defended myself and i backed myself up with good reasons. next reason!”

“fine!” you take another step forward and look at the list on your phone again “you always, always leave your dirty dishes in the sink and you never wash them which means i end up having to take care of them for you. have you noticed i never leave any of my dirty dishes in the sink?”

“you know, you’re right about that.” taehyung lets out a sigh and crosses his arms “…however, the problem with your statement is that you don’t give me the chance to take care of my dirty dishes in the sink. i leave them there for one minute and the next thing i know, when i walk back into the kitchen, you’re already there scrubbing away at the dishes. i don’t wash my dishes because you won’t let me. you’re right! you never leave any of your dirty dishes in the sink because you always eat takeout - do you realise you’re contributing to the plastic waste pollution that is already greatly impacting our planet? do you hate the earth, y/n? is that it? you like watching nature documentaries yet you don’t seem to care about our planet…”

“i-i don’t hate the earth!!!! i love the earth!!!!” you stammer over your words at the sudden accusation of you wanting to watch the world burn

“say that to the fAT bag of plastic straws in the kitchen cabinet. i highly suggest you invest in a reusable metal straw, like me.”

shiT

okay it’s fine you still have plenty of things to complain about

“you drink juice straight out of the carton!”

“i drink the juice out of the carton because you constantly complain about me having dirty dishes. if i drink out of the carton, i won’t have to use a cup, which results in less dirty dishes. you’re welcome.”

“you consTAntly leave the toilet seat up”

“actually, you constantly leave the toilet seat down.”

“whenever you bring your special friends over you guys are always too loud aNd it always sounds like goats screeCHING”

taehyung holds a finger out and takes another step forward

oh you have goT to be kidding

“you haven’t-“

“have you ever heard me?”

you falter for a second

he hasn’t brought a girl around in a while but you remember that when he would bring them over usually you’d just hear,.,. the girl

thinking about it now you don’t know if you’ve ever heard taehyung moaning obnoxiously

“the ladies are the ones making the goat noises, not me - so you can’t blame me here because i’m not the one making the sounds.” taehyung laughs lightly and the smug smile drops from your face when he takes a step forward

oh my god

this game is impossible

you’re never going to win

you’re never going to get rid of him

taehyung totaLLy rigged the entire thing

you hate him!!!!

“i hate you.” you take a giAnt step forward

taehyung raises a brow

huH

so that’s how you’re going to play it

alright

“i hate you more.” he does the same

“i hate you most!” you take another step forward

“i hate you mostest!”

“i hate you… x100!!!!”

“i hate you infinity!!!”

and now

you’re both standing toe to toe nose to nose in the middle of the living room and taehyung raises a brow at you as if daring you to make a move

you want nothing more than to wipe that cocky smirk off his face

and he wants nothing more than to continue to push your buttons and piss you off

…

the sound of your phone clattering to the ground might as well be a starter gunshot

the two of you practically lunge at each other and your mouths smear together clumsily

your teeth bump together with scraping kisses but honestly you can’t bring yourself to care

there’s something sweet about the way his lips taste

…it’s that damn strawberry gum he’s always chewing on

you feel tae’s hands slide down from your waist and skim over your bum briefly before he’s wrapping his fingers around the underside of your thighs and hoisting you up in one swift movement

you let out a gasp of surprise before winding your arms around tae’s neck instinctively “jesUs tae give a girl a warning next time-“

“next time?” he jokes and your cheeks flush at the implication that this is going to happen again sometime in the future

luckily the bedroom isn’t far from the living room because tae’s low-key afraid he’s going to drop you at some point

“u know what i mean”

“no, i don’t think i do- also, we’re fucking in my room because i’m the one with the condoms-“

“how do you know i don’t have condoms???”

“…you ever think about becoming a comedian?”

you roll your eyes before leaning down and covering his mouth with yours

“hey, i just realised i didn’t get the chance to tell you about all the things that i despise about you!” the mattress bounces underneath your weight as tae plops you down on it

you let out a huff and reach up to brush a couple strands of hair away from your face

“impossible because i’m literally perfect in every single way possible-“

“you wanna know what i hate about you?” tae cuts you off and parts your legs before crawling over you “you watch rilakkuma and you are an aDULt-”

you gawk immediately and resist the urge to smack him on the side of his head “says the one who watches naRUtO-“

“and not to mention i hate your stupid fruit-printed panties-“ taehyung growls and grinds down against your centre as he nips down your neck

you instinctively arch your back against him before letting out a snort “they’re cute and comFORtabLE-“

“if you’re going to walk around the apartment with no shorts on, at least wear something a little lacier.” he rolls his eyes as he pulls away from you and hops off so that he’s standing at the foot of the bed

you shuffle up to settle your head back against the pillows “oh, fuck you”

before you get a chance to get comfortable tae’s grabbing your ankles then pulling you back down so that your legs are dangling off the end of the mattress

your eyes widen when he suddenly appears above you

“trust me, i’m about to.” he leans down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away and you unconsciously let out a whimper

taehyung lowers to his knees and pushes your dress up until it’s crumpled up around your waist

god  

of course your panties have peaches on them  

fitting, considering the fact he’s going to be eating your peach in a minute

“oh, i also hate that you watch nature documentaries instead of shitty reality television shows like the reST of us-“ he grumbles and yanks your panties off before tossing them aside

you instinctively squeeze your legs together and taehyung reaches up to grip onto your kneecaps

“you know, i don’t know why you have to be so judgemental about eveRYthing that i do!! like so what if i watch rilakkuma and documentaries about sharks and- namjoon was actually the one who introduced me to nature docs in the first place because he said that cartoons would rot my brain so if you’re looking to put the blame on someone i personally would hiGHly suggest that- oH“ you yelp in surprise when tae suddenly fuLLy spreads your legs in one swift movement

he looks up at you from in between your legs and his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thigh when he feels you wanting to cloSe them again

“are you going to shut up and let me go down on you or what?”

well

it doesn’t take you very long to discover what soo-young, or joy, was so damn happy about

your back arches and your lashes flutter in disbelief when you feel tae gliding his tongue in between your folds in quick, deep strokes

you don’t really want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan because of him but goD he’s making it really hard to not moan

your fingers grip tightly at the bedsheets and you nearly bite your bottom lip off when taehyung’s the one who lets out a throaty groan

“a-ah-“ this is the first loud moan he’s been able to pull from you and you feel the curve of his mouth as he smiles against you

“where do you think you’re going?” you let out a little yelp of surprise when taehyung wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls you down so that he can get even deeper

“tae- oh my god-“ you’re practically blubbering at this point and taehyung is very satisfied knowing about his effect on you

your knuckles feel creaky from clutching at the bedsheets so tightly but somehow you manage to pry one hand off before you’re tangling your fingers into tae’s honey brown locks and giving him a little tug of encouragement

the strands of hair feel awfully soft between your fingers and you’re reminded for a brief second that it’s because he’s using your organic shampoo and condition-

“don’T stop, oh my god, don’t stop-“ you accidentally give him a particularly rough yank when he suckles harder and flicks his tongue rapidly over your nerves

you can feel your muscles starting to get tighter

your abdomen starting to clench and unclench

and that familiar warmth growing in your stomach

the tingly feeling from the tips of your toes to the tips of your fingers

you’re almost there

getting closer and closer to cloud nine

and just when you’re literally a second away from exploding-

your eyes pop open when tae suddenly pulls away and your body twitches in response to being so close yet so far  

“wait, wha-“ you prop yourself up on your elbows

your dress is drooping off one shoulder and you gawk at tae when it seems like he’s not going to get back down there anytime soon “what are you doing?? i was literally about to-“

“if you’re going to cum-“ tae gets back up onto his knees before tugging his shirt off in one swift movement

oh

hello

he tilts his head and offers you a smirk when he notices your eyes wandering

“-you might as well do it around my cock.”  

it doesn’t take very long for the two of you to prep for the main course

in fact it kind of seems like a competition as the both of you riP your clothes off  

you’re pretty sure you broke a thread or two on your dress but it’s fine

“you ready?” there’s a playful glint in tae’s eyes as he rips the foil package open with his teeth

you resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle back against the fluffy pillows

“are you ready?” you challenge with a raised brow

christ almighty

he likes you but you’re reaLLy getting on his nerves

“i cannot wait to fuck the brattiness out of you” tae grumbles more to himself than to you

also

you knew tae was packing even beFore you got to see it up close and personal (like all those times he’d walk around the apartment wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants) but it still doesn’t fail to surprise you looking at it now

he’s an impressive size, to say the least

tae glances at you for a second as if to gauge your reaction as he rolls the condom onto his length smoothly

well

the way you spread your legs for him the moment he gets the condom on is definitely a good sign

tae settles in between your legs and leans down to give you an (unexpectedly sweet) kiss as he presses against your entrance

he immediately notices the way your brows pinch together in discomfort

it hAs been a while after all

“you alright?” he asks softly as you envelope him in your arms

“don’t get all soft on me now, kim” you tease and brush some hair out of his eyes

he snorts

“trust me, i’m the opposite of that-“

your mouth falls open in a silent gasp when tae slides in smoothly with no resistance at aLL from your walls

he did a really good job warming you up that’S for sure

you dig your nails into his shoulders when he drives forward hard and he swoops down to catch your lips in a kiss

“jesus, you’re tight-“ he huffs when he feels you clench around him

you whimper breathlessly while pulling his broad, muscled shoulders closer and bucking your hips up towards him

“do you hate me now, hm?” tae growls lowly as he hitches one of your legs up to his hip and continues to piston into you

“i, nngh, i h-hate you s-so much-“ you’re practically sobbing with pleasure and taehyung is most definitely going to keep this memory in his spank bank for future use heyO

he’s going so mind-blowingly hard he’s sure that he’s going to break the bed

his breathing is raggedly in time with every push into you

he groans and throws his head back when he feels himself getting closer n closer to the edge

he never thought it was possible to feel this good

god is a woman yes She IS

your head digs back against the plush pillows and tae lowers his body so that he’s resting on his forearms

his sticky chest is practically crushed against yours as he continues to drive you into the bed and you can’t help but let yourself indulge in the feeling of his muscles rippling underneath your fingertips

“you don’t- fuck, you don’t hate me, admit it-“

“jesus tae of course i don- god, h-harder,” you hiccup and dig your nails into his back so hard that you’re positive you’re drawing a little bit of blood “please-“

if there’s one thing that taehyung knows he’s super good at

it’s taunting you

and he’ll never forgive himself if he lets this window of opportunity close on him

“please, who?” he taunts you with hot breaths against your ear “say my name-“

“f-fuck you-“

“jesus, fuck, say my fucking name-“ his hand slips in between your legs and you twitch when he starts rubbing quick circles over your clit “let everybody know who’s making you feel this good-“ taehyung groans and buries his face into the crook of your neck

“tae- oh my god, taehyung-!” you cry out sharply and immediately tighten around the next powerful push he delivers inside of you

your orgasm shockwaves through you as you pulse hard around him

you can practically hear your blood roaring in your ears as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm

speaking of orgasms

tae’s thrusts are starting to get jerky and uneven and you can tell by the way his nails dig into the soft flesh of your hips that he’s close

“so fucking tight-“ tae stiffens and rams into you one last time before his orgasm practically explodes from the centre of him and into the condom

his lips part and he lets out a low moan of satisfaction before going slack on top of you

you’re nothing but light twitches and whimpers as taehyung pulls out of you gently

you feel him pressing soft kisses to your shoulders and you reach up to stroke your hand over his damp locks before he’s rolling off of you with a gasp

…

okay

oookaaay

okay!

so

you just

you and tae just

y’all really did that

the realisation that the two of you just had sex seems to hit the both of you at the same time

tae clears his throat

“so.”

“so.” you repeat quietly

you prop yourself up on your elbows and turn to look over at him

“you can keep living here, i was just… pent-up anger, you know how it builds.”

“oh, yeah, i get it.” tae clears his throat as he sits up to toss the soiled condom away

you lie back down and let out a breath

would it be weird for you to stay

is he not asking you to leave because he’s just being polite

o god

yeah

maybe you should go back to your room

you lift the covers off gingerly and sit up as your eyes flicker about to search for your dress “i should probably-“

tae reaches out quickly and wraps his fingers around your wrist

you turn to look at him

he looks dewy in the warm glow of the bedside lamp (but also because he’s kinda sweAty)

his cheeks are rosy and his hair is mussed and he has blotches of red dotted along his neck and if you look hard enough you’re able to make out the faint crescent moon marks embedded in his bicep (you really need to cut ur nails soon)

he’s so cute

“you- uh, you can stay if you want to… you didn’t get a chance to put your fresh bedsheets on anyway”

his heart skips a beat when you nod and curl back under the covers with him

a moment of silence goes by

tae turns over onto his side so that he’s facing you

“do you actually hate me?” he murmurs and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you hum

“i could never.”

he smiles happily before flipping over onto his back

he doesn’t know if now would be a good time to tell you about how he feels about you

the comfortable silence is nice and also he’s still a little anxious about how you’re going to respond

he doesn’t want to ruin this bubble that you guys are in right now

so maybe it’d be better to tell you tomorrow

yeah

he’ll do it tomorrow

as you’re lying there in the dark, the thought of ‘do i like taehyung?’ crosses your mind

and there’s really only one answer to that question

there’s a reason why you weren’t all that hurt when jungkook didn’t show up

there’s a reason why the entire time you were waiting for jungkook to pick you up, the only thing you were thinking about was how you definitely bailed on tae and how much fun a pizza and documentary night would’ve been with him

there’s a reason why you let him join in on your supEr private air-guitar concerts in the kitchen that only namjoon has been able to experience

there’s a reason why you don’t mind all the teasing and the hair-pulling

there’s a reason

why you don’t get mad at him when he wakes you up in the morning by whacking you with a pillow before bouncing up and down on your bed like a maniac

why you don’t roll your eyes when he complains about there not being any yogurt left or when you eat the last piece of orange chicken or when you insist on watching another episode of ‘our earth’ before going to bed and he responds by calling you a nerd

there’s a reason why you feel like this unintentional hookup was actually intentional this whole damn time

there’s a reason why you agreed to stay with him instead of going to your room which is literally ten steps away

oh, god. i like taehyung.

taehyung wakes up the next morning in a cold, empty bed

he props himself up and rubs his hand over his face to wake himself up a little bit

his eyes flicker over your side of the bed

the pillow still has a dip in it from where your head was and-

yep of courSe you left a couple stands of hair behind lol

he turns to check the time on his phone and thaT’s when he notices the pink sticky note stuck to the pole of his bedside lamp

he squints a little because his eyes are still a little bleary with sleep

but once the note comes into his focus and he gets a chance to read it

his heart drops to his stomach

‘taehyung - i think that was a mistake.’

here’s the thing

you’re not just stressing out a little bit

you weren’t even this nervous when you were studying for finals!!!!!

you’re stressing out a LOTtle bit because now that you’ve had the entire day to think about it

you’re 110% sure that you have a crush on kim taehyung

and you have no fuNKing idea what the heck you’re supposed to do now

tell him that you like him??? what if he doesn’t like you back?? he’s still going to be your roommate even if he doesn’t like you back and things will never be the same again because you’re always going to have that elephant in the room you’ll be tip-toeing around and it’s just going to be a biG ol mess

but what if you don’t tell him that you like him?? then things will go back to normal except you guys will just never talk about the fact that his p was inside of your v and you’re probably going to have to deal with him bringing girls over again which is something that would honestly probably break your already weAK heart

but if you really think about it

at the end of the day, you’re always going home to taehyung

taehyung is your home.

“sometimes you just have to be willing to take a chance, you know?” namjoon shrugs as he flips a pen in between his fingers “otherwise you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering to yourself, ‘what if i…?’”

you let out a little huff and lean down to press your face against the counter

sometimes you feel like namjoon was some kind of wise old owl in his past life

or maybe because he just reads a lot of philosophy books

he spends a lot of time in the library after all

“i don’t know, joonie… it’s not that easy, you know?” you sigh and shake your head “what happens if he doesn’t feel-“

namjoon literally shrieKs and ducks down when the library doors suddenly swing open violently

your eyes widen when you see taehyung storm in looking like he’s about to kill someone

he looks around frantically before locking gazes with you

oh

great!

it looks like the person he’s about to kill is you

“what the hell do you mean by ‘i think that was a mistake?’”

oh boy

you swallow thickly

“it either was a mistake or it wasn’T a mistake! you can’t think you made a mistake! you make a mistake, or you don’t make a mistake! there’s no in between, y/n!” he exasperates as he stomps over to you

you flash the people around the front counter a sheepish smile before looking at a veRy angry tae

you clear your throat

“hello to you too, roomie.”

“oh don’T give me that roomie bullshit right now, y/l/n.” he snaps and fixes the strap of his backpack “i think we need to talk.”

hA

nice reference

how clever of him

the cheeky boy

“i… don’t know if we have anything we need to talk about…” you shrug innocently before turning to lean back against the counter

oh

alright

if that’s how you’re going to do things then tae will happily play along

“oh? we don’t?” he raises a brow before poking his tongue into the inside of his cheek

“nope”

he scoffs and crosses his arms before looking you dead in the eye

“okay, fine. we don’t have to talk about the red scratch marks down my back left by your nails due to our mind-blowing sex last night because they’re kindA starting to sting and i was hoping we could go to the pharmacy and pick up some ointment for them… we also don’t have to talk about how you practically went cross-eyed when i did that thing with my tongue where-“

“okAY so it looks like we do have a couple things to talk about after all!!!!!” your voice cracks and namjoon gives you that look that you knOw is the ‘you have a lot of explaining to do’ face

it kind of makes him look constipated but that’s not the point

the most private place you could find in the shortest amount of time was behind the library

there’s a faint smell of garbage since this is where the dumpsters are but it seems like neither one of you care

“what is the matter with you??” you hiss and cross your arms

“what’s the matter with me?” tae scoffs “what’s the matter with yOU??”  

you resist the urge to roll your eyes

“look, i’m sure whatever you want to talk about can wait til we get back to the apartment-“

“where were you in the morning?” tae interrupts you and raises a brow

…

oof

see

the thing is

this morning when you woke up and realised that you still had feelings for taehyung and it wasn’t just a post-orgasm hormonal thing you kind of freaked out

so naturally you just… left

you just needed some time to think

anD you needed to hunt namjoon down because he always gives the best advice

you didn’t think it’d be such a big deal

in fact you’re not even sure why taehyung is fussing so much over it

unless….

“what- what are you talking about?”

“i don’t know how else to state the question. where were you this morning?”

“…i was… look, taehyung, i-“

“how do you think it makes me feel when you promised you would stay with me and i-i wake up completely alone and instead of seeing you the first thing i see is a stupid sticky note with-“ he raises his hands to do air quotes “-taehyung, i think that was a mistake?????”

“i can see why that would make you upset but i really think it’d be best if we just forgot about what we did and simply moved on-“

“oh my god, you are so stuBBo- you know what, i actually didn’t get the chance to finish going through the list of things that i hate about you, so i think now is the perfect chance to finish telling you aLL about it” tae laughs coldly and your brows knit together in confusion

“i don’t know if that’s very relevant right now-“

“you wanna know what the biggest thing i hate about you is?”

oh god

here we go

“what? my apparent inability to differentiate between making a mistake and-“

“i hate how much i like you.” tae interrupts you and your eyes widen at the sudden confession “i like everything about you, y/n. i like seeing how happy you get when you’re watching an episode of rilakkuma or when we’re having a nature documentary marathon. i like your stupid fruit-printed panties and i’m pretty sure my heart went into overdrive when i saw your dumb peach ones last night.” tae rolls his eyes playfully, “i like you, and i’m like 97% sure that you like me back, but you’re just too stubborn to admit it! i just- you are so fruStrating and usually i can tell if someone likes me back but it’s like i can’t even tell with you!!!!!” he scoffs and flaiLs his arms around before starting to pace around in front of you “jesus, y/l/n, i like you, and i wanna hold your hand, and i wanna kiss your stupid face after you wake up and before you go to bed, and i want you to wear my sweatshirts not because it was accidentally mixed into your laundry basket but just because you like wearing my clothes, and i wanna go grocery shopping with you and see how many tubs of ice cream we can get for free-“

you’re barely paying attention to what taehyung’s saying because:

taehyung likes you

and you like him

the realisation makes a soft smile appear on your face and you feel your heart skip a beat

taehyung likes you!!!!

and you like him!!!!

you guys like each other!!!!!

oh my god!!!!!

oH My gOD!!!!!!

“and you know what, even if you don’t like me back i don’t regret telling you about my feelings because i feel good knowing that it’s off my chest-“

“tae-“ you clear your throat and tae holds a hand out as if to tell you to shUT it

“-and at the end of the day we’re still going to be roommates which is finE with me like if you don’t like me in that way i guess i’ll have to get used to rejection but-“

“tae-“

“-i just wanna know!!!! i just wanna know what’s going on in that duMb ol head of yours because one minute you’re cuddled up to me and the next you’re acting like i’m crawling with germs oR one minute you’re calling me tae-tae and feeding me chicken because i’m too lazy to feed myself and the next minute you-“

“kim taehyung!!!!!!!”

“what?!” tae stops in his tracks and whiPs around to face you

he’s surprised to see that you’re looking at him with the softest smile on your face

there’s a little twinkle in your eye as you take a step towards him

“i think… this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

the frown fades from tae’s face

wait what

you

you want him to kiss you?

does this mean…

well now he feels a little silly

you should’ve saiD something before he went off on his angry rant about how much he haTes that he likes you

taehyung clears his throat “…sorry, what was that?”

you let out a sigh and roll your eyes before reaching out and grabbing onto the collar of tae’s t-shirt and pulling him towards you

your nervous happiness transitions to a giddy excitement as you press your lips against his

this kiss is definitely veRy different compared the one you shared last night

more sweet

more loving

your guys’ mouths meld together so perfectly it almost seems like you guys were made for each other and damNit you can taste that obnoxiously sweet strawberry gum on his lips

tae’s arm snakes around your waist and his palm presses against your jaw as he tilts your head up

you feel like you could float up to the sky like a balloon if it weren’t for his grip on you

his lips are insistent and he parts for a brief second before going back in for another kiss

he tilts his head a bit juSt so he can press a tiny bit harder and you giggle when his nose nudges against yours

it feels like sparkles are just blinking everYwhere around the two of you

tae smiles softly as he pulls away and up this close you’re able to see the golden flecks in his brown irises twinkling like little tiny stars

“does this mean i can drink straight out of the orange juice carton now?” tae hums and brushes a strand of your hair back gently

you purse your lips in thought

“…we’re going to have to talk about that one.”

so yeah

out of all the people in the world to get stuck with

kim taehyung really isn’t all that bad.

#insert obligatory i hope this does well tag #oof #i hope this does well #roommate!tae #taehyung #taehyung fic recs #kim taehyung #kim taehyung fic recs #reader insert #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #bts #bts fic recs #taehyung smut #taehyung smut recs #bts smut #bts smut recs #taehyung fluff #taehyung fluff recs #bts v #bts taehyung #namjoon #seokjin #hoseok #j-hope #jungkook #jungkook smut #taehyung fics #bts fics #taehyung writing

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

a message.

This whole post is full of things I’ve wanted to say for a very long time. So yes, this is going to be very long.

Before I begin, I just wanted to say I’m sorry to the innocent people who had nothing to do with this. I’ve never ever been involved with online/fandom drama before, I hate being in this position so fucking much with all my heart and soul, and I never thought in my whole life that I’d be in this position, either.

Secondly, this is about the DEF LEPPARD FANDOM ON TUMBLR. If you’re not part of this fandom, kindly fuck off :^) This is not about you.

This post explains why I feel this way. And to those innocent people who aren’t involved with this, I’m sincerely sorry if any of this has changed your opinions of me.

I’m in a mood and a half, so I’ll do my best to effectively tell everything from my perspective. Read if you want, but this is just what I’m thinking.

I’ve been running this blog for almost three years now. When I first joined this fandom on tumblr at the beginning of 2018, there wasn’t really a ‘fandom’ per se; all the main blogs were dead, no one ever really posted, and there wasn’t much content. I decided to start a DL blog of my own to vent my love into it and not spam my main account. 

Within a month, I could quickly see that some sort of renaissance was happening in this fandom; more blogs were popping up, more people were posting, and more people were just participating in general. There were memes now, there were conversations now- it was great! There was a real community; it was all about sharing information, spewing our love, getting creative, and interacting! 

There was integrity, and there was respect for the band as well as one another.

I, as part of this community, wanted to do everything in my physical power to contribute in any way I could. I was insanely active and hyper-productive and could not be stopped. I still haven’t stopped, but I certainly have slowed down significantly (due to lack of new activity from the band and increased mental health issues I won’t get into). I don’t want to be self-centered and say that I was “running” this branch of the fandom for the past 2.7 years, but I was certainly a big player in it, and I feel everyone agreed (and some still agree) with that as well.

There were some times where disagreements happened. There were times where many of us knew that someone else was crossing a line in a post. We knew what qualified as “not okay” in terms of being perverted and such. We’d solve this by not blaming, not hounding, not sending anon hate, not calling out, but by presenting facts, talking maturely, and trying to right the wrongs as maturely as we could.

Yes, it was possible. Was.

I don’t think you guys realize just how much content I’ve contributed to this fandom. I have spent basically every single day of the past 3-ish years trying to spread information/content/photos/videos/links/etc. to everyone who follows me (and everyone who doesn’t). This fandom was (and I cannot stress this enough), literally my entire life for the past 3 odd years, and I really wanted to spend the rest of my life contributing to it the way I’ve been.

I don't think anyone on here realizes everything that I have done for this community. Because of me:

this fandom has access to Animal Instinct for free

this fandom has access to the rare picture disc interview

this fandom has numerous scans of photos that may have not ended up online otherwise (I also paid $70 to have access to some of these. You're welcome.)

we have Fabulist Icons content

we have a decent amount of fanfiction that doesn't only focus on the boys banging each other/sex in general (seriously, this simply didn’t exist on here before I started posting my shit)

we have a little more fan art

we have content from Phil's and Ross's books

we have hundreds (yes, literally, HUNDREDS) of edits/moodboards/memes/etc. that I made myself

we have gifsets of things that no one else would have made

we have achieved justice a lot of the time when content was stolen because I have defended everyone without question/rallied up armies the second I heard it happened

some of you have gotten updates on news/facts/history/details/etc. that you’ve never even heard of

probably a shit ton more things, but that’s all I can think of for now. You get the point.

But that’s only half the story. This band and fandom has given me so much to cherish over the past few years.

Because of this fandom and the people (that were once) in it, I have:

met Rick in person

met, quite honestly, my two best friends ever, @ballistic-lipstick-dream-machine (my true Terror Twin) and @paper-sxn (adopted little sister/cousin)

became in contact with Phil's guitar tech from the mid-80s (Mike)

gained creative ambition to play guitar, create art, write stories, make edits/gifs, travel, and basically just better myself

began a record collection that is now in the hundreds and gained a lot of knowledge from it

discovered a whole new genre of music

found a community/culture where, for the very very first time in my life, I felt like I BELONGED.

fallen in love with something and someone for the first time

felt like I actually mattered to people, like I was actually important (because people would always come to me for information or help if they needed it)

basically impacted every corner of my life

just about a million other things, too, but I will be here all night if I try to list them all.

To put it delicately: Def Leppard and this fandom on tumblr absolutely changed my life, and was the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

I have spread so much information around, you newer people wouldn't imagine. I have gathered and seen so much information, you wouldn't believe how much I know and how much I've learned. I have bounced back and forth between formats time after time again that I feel like I’m stuck in a time warp. I have edited so many things on non-professional programs that I am an MS paint expert. I have been here so long, that I’ve seen 98% of the people in this branch of the fandom rotate in and out at least two or three times. 

That being said, all of the toxic people in this fandom will most likely be gone within the next 6 months. 

Def Leppard has taught me so much, but a big thing was love and loyalty. It's clear that the majority of people in this fandom (read my lips- I am N O T saying anyone’s names. I mean that.) do not know the meanings of either of these words. I've been practically running this fandom on Tumblr for nearly three years now, you’ve seen all that I’ve done for you, and what have I gotten in return?

Slander, cyberbullying, disrespect, consistently stolen content, etc. That’s what I’ve gotten. I’ve never attacked anyone on here, and that is still something I won’t do.

Yes, I am against slash fic, and I can’t believe that THAT’S the only reason why I’m being torn down like this. Something so dumb and immature as that has torn my beloved community in half. I have never attacked ANYONE for writing slash fic, yet I’ve been getting attacked since August (it is November now) for simply believing it is wrong to openly admit you want the boys to fuck each other.

(I’d also like to point out that someone from the KISS fandom ((god knows why)) had the balls to call me “homophobic” for hating slashfic. I can’t even begin to explain how much I laughed at that.)

I just wanna say that these are REAL people you’re writing about, you know. Don’t you think THEY would be against it? I know I cannot stop anyone from writing slash (I’ve said that before, but no one seems to remember it). I don’t think any of you realize that there is a certain line you shouldn’t cross when it comes to the internet, and being perverted in such an explicit and disrespectful way is one of them. We always had integrity in this fandom, and slash was never part of something we stood for. We knew when to stop, and we kept the slash on rockfic.com (where it belongs imo. That’s like their element).

I was very confused when more slash fics started appearing on tumblr this year. Now, it seems like that’s all there is, and I’m disgusted.

Whenever something close to that happened in 2018, everyone would be totally against it, and we’d talk it out and explain. While we all had our fair share of horny (and maybe then some) in this fandom, but we always knew where to draw the line. That was the line. That line doesn’t exist anymore, apparently, and nobody knows how to be mature and respectful to the band, to each other, and just for fuck’s sake. Now, I’m being slammed that being perverted for them fucking their best friends is “just fandom, bitch” and “the norm” and that it’s done “out of respect”, which I will never understand. You can’t use “slash” and “respectful” in the same sentence, and you can’t change my mind, but I know I can’t change yours, either. 

Slash is not, nor will it ever be, respectful. This fandom has become toxic.

Fanfiction is an outlet for creativity to be used for fun, not to be used as an excuse to project your sexually perverted sexuality headcannons/fetishes onto innocent, REAL, LIVE people. If all you write/read is them having sex with each other, then it really makes you wonder if it’s about “respect” anymore, doesn’t it?

In my opinion it’s fucked up that it’s “normal” and “just part of fandom” to create sexualities for- again- REAL, LIVE PEOPLE, and it’s everyone’s first instinct to argue that it’s fine, apparently? If you “respect” your idols so much like you claim you do, then why don’t you maybe respect their actual orientations instead of creating masturbation material for random 12 year olds and boomers, perhaps?

I don’t know what I did that was so fucking wrong in your eyes, as I’ve always tried to keep integrity in this area of tumblr. 

I'm very deeply hurt, more than I've ever been by this. It physically hurts me to admit that this fandom has become as toxic as it currently is. I don’t feel welcome here anymore at all, despite practically running things on here for so long.

I don’t know how I could ever live without this fandom, but now it looks like I’m going to have to try, or at least try and rebuild it on my own (again). I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop posting about Def Leppard, and after all, I only started posting about them for myself to begin with.

We were supposed to be the good fandom, the happy fandom, the fandom with no drama. I am ashamed to be associated with you now. I tried to stop it as best as I could, and hoped people would back me up, but I’ve received nothing but hate for simply trying to preserve some dignity.

You guys have been immature to say the least, and I find it very hard to believe that some of you are legal adults (but let’s be honest; most of you toxic people are probably too young to even be behind a computer, anyway). 

I’ve had to block some people that I really didn’t want to, but the deed is done. Keep your slash to yourself, tag it, do a read more, post it somewhere else, even- that’s how you co-exist. Just don’t come after me because I think it’s wrong. I never came after anyone specifically like that.

This isn’t goodbye, but I certainly am leaving for a while. I hope I got my point, my history, and my perspective across.

And I hope you’re fucking happy, because you’ve destroyed something I loved.

-Rachel

#also to helena_s_renn on rockfic: suck my dick bitch :3 #thank you to those who have messaged me and been kind #time to watch my follower count dwindle at the speed of sound #goodbye

[atrickofthetoxin-a]

All the odd questions for the honesty meme >D

HO-KAY this goes under a read more because you’re evil and indulge me too much kdasfdjkadfkd

What would prevent you from following someone?

If I don’t like their writing, don’t think our styles would mesh well, I don’t want to rp with that muse, they don’t seem active ect. ect. Basic stuff I think? I’m not picky.

  3. What current rp trend do you hate?

I don’t know tbh

5. Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?

No preference? There doesn’t seem to be as many female muses unfortunately :[

7. What’s your opinion on call out posts?

Useful in some situations but some of y’all are just really weird and cruel about them and dogpile on people who didn’t do anything seriously wrong.

9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?

I don’t practice it, but I understand why some people do!

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

People usually don’t like it when you message then and ask to rp, despite what some posts say

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

Not yet, it’s my favorite hobby :]

15. How has rp changed you personally?

Hm...I don’t know, I’m more confident in my writing now that I’m doing it almost every day

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

I actually don’t know how to do that asdfsdas

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any actually....?

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

Nope :]

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

Nope! I’d feel like shit if I did

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

LOVE duplicates, Jon lends himself to so many different interpretations, I want ALL the interactions.

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

Yup! Sometimes you just gotta admire the writing from afar.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

Using someone as a meme source is shitty, rebloging a meme from them without sending from time to time isn’t. Some people are oddly aggressive about it tbh. I practice it, but I don’t expect ppl to practice it with me, if you don’t want to send it but want to reblog it that’s FINE. I’ll probably send you one tho lmao.

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?

I only leaned what ‘smh’ meant yesterday does that count?

33. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

I love you pls send me asks, tell Jon about your day, he doesn’t care but I do :]! Random non-rpers following just to read my writing is the best thing.

( but, that said, don’t be weird? Weird anons that make me uncomfortable are blocked real fast )

35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

I read other peoples!!! Y’alls writing is too good to just scroll past

37. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

I tag on request or if I see and remember a trigger in someones rules. If it helps anyone feel comfortable I will tag anything no matter how strange or harmless seeming! But. I do operate under the impression that, considering this is a villain muse with a VERY dark past that anyone who follows me will be okay with some subjects? If you can’t see subjects related to child abuse or syringes, hallucinations, manipulation ect. ect.  I really am terribly sorry but I’m expecting you to take care of your mental heath and not follow this sort of blog.

Also I have a memory disorder so if I don’t tag something pls just remind me! I do care, and I’ll fix it right away!

#muchmorethanmuses

[tiaragqueen]

Yandere One Punch Man Headcanons Pt. 2

99-nct asked: “If it’s not too much to ask, could you do a couple more for characters like Garou and Amai mask (with maybe some s-class heroes)?”

Anon asked: “Hello!! Can I please please get a yandere garou headcanons, tyy :)”

As per requests, I’ve decided to write the second part of Yandere OPM headcanons. I admit, Garou was a little hard for me to imagine but he certainly has a yandere potential. So, I apologize if it’s not up to your liking. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it!

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

Amai Mask

Pretty boy... I honestly love his short hair more than the long one

Probably the busiest yandere out of the others

Vain

You might catch his interest due to your strong power and beauty

Though I can see him liking a celebrity as well

But you know, cameras are on them all the time

So it decreases his chance of ‘owning’ you

Amai Mask is very generous, you see

There’s nothing he won’t buy for you

Clothes? Just take them

Cars? Pick any brand you want

Vacations? Where do you have in mind, darling?

Tries to organize his time evenly, but fails miserably

I mean, he's still human and juggles tons of jobs

Hero, model, actor, singer

Each needs his attention just as much

It’s hard to be organized when you always have something to do

But it’s a hidden blessing, you know

You can escape anytime he goes to work

Which is almost all the time, to be honest

But you gotta know that he’s famous and therefore, has many connections

You can escape to other countries and he'll be there to bring you back

Or one of his lackeys

Or even his GODDAMN fans

Whoever and whichever works the best

He’s not delusional per se

More like he doesn’t understand why do you want to leave after he provides you with literally everything you need

Though, not exactly self-aware either

Harsh in punishing

Bondage, starvation, isolation you name it

Prefer sexual punishment than physical one

Merciless in killing anyone who even injures you in the slightest

Especially monsters

Has a burning hatred in everything he deems evil and ugly

And anyone who taints your beauty shall not live long on his hands

Definitely obsessed and possessive with you

Likes to mark you

He’s not too forceful in showing you off

Because he knows that you’re his

The world knows, all heroes know, his fans know

You literally have no chance in escaping

So you might as well give up and start enjoying the luxury he happily bestow upon you

Before he takes them away

Garou

The first time I saw him I thought he was Bang's younger self

Surprisingly nice to kids

Therefore, he might be more attracted to younger partners

Won’t tolerate being looked down upon

A mere scolding is enough to set him off into an enraged state

So you have to tread carefully with him

Very carefully it’s ridiculous

It’s like walking on an extremely thin rope or a brittle ice with bubbling fire underneath

Which is his temper, by the way

Unless you’re feeling suicidal enough to get a taste of his anger

Doesn’t mind hurting you to prove his point

You might be one of those wallflowers as he hates popular ones

Despite that, he's always protecting you from any bullies

A good shoulder to cry on

He knows what it feels like to be bullied so he easily sympathizes with you

Yet, he often belittles your low self-esteem to disguise his good intentions

After all, he doesn’t want you to think that he’s gone soft on you

In a way, he’s like Tatsumaki but meaner

Sometimes you have to hold him back from fighting any heroes who have the misfortune on crossing paths with you

Absolutely wants to start a family with you at some point

It doesn’t matter if you’re not ready

He likes children and he wants one

So either he forces you to make love with him or adopt a child

Stalks you at all times

If anyone has the audacity to harm you, he’ll kill them right in front of you

Won’t lie and instead boast when you ask him if he’s stalking you

Not clingy, has too much pride for that

Possessive

But he doesn’t mind if people talk to you

As long as they keep the boundaries in mind, he stays chill

Like Saitama, Garou won’t kill humans

Unless provoked

Then again, who wants to provoke such a dangerous man?

He doesn’t get a nickname ‘Human Monster’ for nothing, you know?

Metal Bat

If his sister doesn’t like you, then he won’t

Depending on how you see it, it can be an advantageous situation for you

You just have to make yourself as unpleasant as possible

Then Bad would certainly release you

But he's not all temperamental and cockiness

He’s smarter than he looks

So he'll catch on your attempt rather quickly

Let’s just say that you’ll be traumatized so much you won’t be able to look at Zenko in the eye again

Hard on the outside, soft on the inside

Loves spoiling you

But he’s a little tsundere

Secretly clingy it’s almost endearing

Overprotective like hell

Sometimes stalk you from the shadows

He just wants to make sure that you’re okay all the time

Blushes heavily whenever you show any sign of affection to him

Not above threatening you, either

Quite terrible in lying, so subtle manipulation doesn’t come as easy for him

So he uses fear instead

Won’t force you to start a family with him

But wishes for it anyway

Sometimes comes to your apartment/house unannounced

Loves cooking for you

Especially when you’re the type who eats snacks all the time

He can easily excuse it as ‘you need to more healthy food’

If Zenko likes you, you’ll probably spend the majority of your time in their apartment

Thus giving him more chance to get close with you

Or if you’re a hero, then Bad will find a way to work together

It doesn’t matter if you refuse

Bad’s stubborn

Therefore you need to suck it up

Unless you want to suffer again

Zombieman

Serious and strict

Doesn’t really care about your feelings

Won’t hesitate to kidnap you

Secretive about his past

Very jealous

You can stab him all the time you want and he’ll still alive

He’s immortal, you see

Hence his name

So if you want to leave, you need to step up your game

And you can’t give any hint that you’re scheming something either

Intelligent with a detective-like thinking

If you even show the slightest odd behavior, then he'll immediately be suspicious  

However, he’s fairly forgiving

As long as you apologize sincerely and promise that you wouldn’t repeat that mistake

Openly shows his annoyance at your habits that he finds irritating

Such as eating greedily or with mouth open

Prefers modest partner than loud-mouthed ones

Thinks that they’re easier to be ‘taught’

Not at all bothered with death or gore

Doesn’t mind killing in your sight

Because you should get used to it now or force yourself to do it

A lone wolf

If someone is bothering you

Rest assured he’ll come home with their head as the ‘souvenir’

Suppose you’re a powerful hero

Might develop an inferiority complex to you

But he won’t show it, of course

Don’t be surprised if he asks you to be his sparring partner someday

Knows his limit very well

However, it doesn’t mean he’s giving up either

He'll create a plan

And when the time comes

Your enemies/anyone who harms you will disappear

King

Looks intimidating at first glance

A HUGE otaku

Don’t get me wrong, tho

He can bluff his way out of everything

Too much of a coward to actually kill a person or monster

But can be pretty possessive

Peacemaker

Doesn’t like to argue with you

Willing to throw away his stashes of otome games in exchange for your affection

Or if you show any sign of jealousy

Obsessive, secretly collects your photos or posters

Especially if you’re famous

Gaming together as a date

Always win

Unless you’re an expert like him too

Then be prepared for lots of rematches

Not that you complain

Dominant in public, submissive in bedroom

I feel like he’s suitable for a quietly assertive partner that seems submissive on the outside

Needs guidance because he’s pretty clueless in real relationship

That’s why you can easily escape from him

If you’re famous

Then he would be one of those obsessive fans

Always sending you love letters and tells you to stay healthy

Might stalk you too

But he always excuse it as ‘passing by’

And you’ll believe him of course

Because why would a hero like him stalk you?

You feel honored to have the strongest man on earth as your fan

Whenever he meets you by chance, he’d get tongue-tied

But it’s endearing

You’d never know that he’s a yandere

Mumen Rider

I know he’s not an S-class hero but I have a soft spot for him, okay? I mean, do you see how precious he is in this gif?

The subbiest yandere out of any yanderes

Like, he wants to do everything to ensure you’re comfortable with him

You want food at three in the morning? Okay, let me put on my helmet first

You’re feeling ill? What kind of medicine do you need?

Your feet hurt? Here, let me massage them for you

You’ll feel like you’re a royalty when dating him

Which is his intention by the way

He wants to make sure that your needs are met

Feels sad if you talk to other men or purposefully making him jealous

Because he’s done so much for you

He’ll take it that he needs to improve more

Extremely hardworking to the point of being a perfectionist

If you show the slightest displeasure towards something, especially if it’s his action, then he'll blame himself

Tends to ask or send you messages with ‘are you okay?’, ‘how are you feeling?’, or ‘do you need anything?’

Puts your feelings above his

Loyal

If someone bullying you, then he'll step in like a brave hero he is

He's weak compare to other heroes

But his determination is admirable

Dominant in bed

Only because he wants to make you feel good

However, he doesn’t mind giving the reins to you if you’re the dominant type

Loves to appreciate every inch of your body

Very supportive in any hobby you do, even if he doesn’t particularly like it

Won’t hesitate sacrificing himself should a danger ever arises

You often lecture him on the importance of self-preservation

If you ever save him, be it accidental or intentional

Then he'd be your BIGGEST fan

Like King, he'd send you love letters

Considerate and sympathetic

He'll charm you with his pure heart and sincere kindness

You don’t want to leave him

Because such a man is very rare amidst insincere heroes

Or maybe it’s just me but oh well

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