#i used to tell myself as a kid ‘anyone can sing they just need the right genre’

[a-secret-inner-life]

I came across a lot of stuff that I could relate to about autism while researching for a paper, which led me to do more research on autism in general. I saw some other people doing this type of post on here, so: autistic people, can you please read my super long and detailed list of possible symptoms I experience and tell me if it seems like I'm one of you? I'm trying to be objective and reasonable and figure out what's going on with myself here.

Sensory Stuff

I like to stim–bouncing my legs, tapping my feet when I sit, occasionally swinging my legs or rocking. I also clench my fists or sit on my hands a lot and tap my fingers on things, or just fiddle with whatever is in front of me. Recently, I count while touching my thumb to each of my fingertips to calm down because someone in a book I read did that and it actually does help me. I also sing the alphabet song repeatedly when I'm working on my website.

Sometimes when I'm very tired or overwhelmed my face feels itchy and I feel like every strand of hair touching me prickles and itches and leaves a red spot (but it doesn't actually).

I have a strong hatred for perfume because it smells too strong and fakey, and citrus scents also drive me nuts, but I really like scented candles.

I'm a super picky eater, although I'm not as bad as when I was a kid. I don't mind the taste of tomatoes, peppers, or onions in things, but I'm still a little grossed out when I know I'm eating them, and the texture of onions freaks me right out, as an example.

I get startled easily. Loud noises don't actually scare me, they just jolt me out of whatever thought space I was in before I heard them.

I also get overwhelmed whenever someone tries to talk to me in a loud car (whether it's loud with other people or just the engine), and I find it overwhelming and incredibly difficult to concentrate when more than one person is talking at once. Whenever I'm in a crowd, it just sounds like this vague roar that gets louder the more I think about it, which can sometimes be overwhelming. Still, I'm good at tuning some things out in select circumstances, like the TV when it's on.

Finally, if I pay attention at pretty much any time when there isn't a ton of other noise, I can hear ringing in my ears. This isn't usually upsetting, and I know it's fairly common for anyone to get tinnitus from time to time, but I'm not sure if most people experience it this much.

Social Stuff

I can not handle eye contact.

I'm also really, really, comically bad at social interactions. I almost never speak to someone I don't know well before they speak to me, and my go-to conversation method is to laugh/giggle and nod, I literally can not make actual conversation to save my life. Sometimes I think of things to say but it doesn't occur to me to say them, or I try to but I'm scared and can't find an opening, or I do say the thing and people don't react the way I want them to (usually it's either confusion or disinterest).

Old ladies are my favorite people because they're the least scary somehow. I also love kids, but I'm still awkward so I rarely interact and probably still freak them out.

I'm horrible at keeping contact and I wait until I know people are offline to reply to their messages because conversation is stressful and I need time to think when I text. Group chats are a nightmare, so I pretty much ghost everyone when I'm in one.

I'm super attached to my family, though. I make an effort to create a deep bond with each of my siblings, and I'm the clingiest person in the world when it comes to my older sister.

I value people very deeply, which might be why I find them so intimidating. I love them and I want them to be happy, and I put too much pressure on the situation.

I used to hate being alone, and I still feel guilty or sad whenever I spend too much time by myself, although I actually love to be by myself, a lot of my hobbies and favorite places are solitary, and I usually prefer figuring things out on my own rather than having somebody right there trying to figure it out with me.

I'm incredibly empathetic. It's not like I can automatically sense people's emotions, but I do make an effort to pay attention and understand what they're feeling and why they feel that way. My siblings come and rant to me a lot, and I can be a good diplomat and see both points of view when they argue. I also care, and I always want to make people feel better, though it obviously doesn't always work. Sometimes I'm too empathetic, or maybe too creative, and I stress out about what someone might be feeling when I don't know if it's an actual issue or not.

Patterns and Stuff

I've always been good at remembering my parents’ phone numbers and our zip code, as well as my friends’ birthdays. I work at a grocery store where I find myself reciting the regular customers’ lottery numbers in my head as they're saying them to me.

My dad used to have a verbal checklist of what to bring to work each morning, and I still recite it every time I hear the words “wallet” and “keys” next to each other. Same goes for my old morning checklist that I don't even follow anymore.

I don't adhere to a strict routine in terms of the general structure of my day, but I definitely have a system or pattern for a lot of my specific activities.

Emotional Stuff

I've been obsessed with drawing and painting for as long as I can remember. I write all the time. I think I dedicated myself and a huge chunk of my life to my hobbies. If I like something, I like to think that I make it my own, and that thing permeates who I am.

When I first started listening to BTS, I scoured literally the entire Internet to find every possible hidden track any of the members ever touched, and there were A LOT. Lately I've been obsessed with Keeper of the Lost Cities, and I can't stop talking about the books. I'm also hyper fixated on Tomorrow X Together.

When I start something, I need to finish it, and I'll often think I'm so close to being done only to continue on it for several more hours, trying to hurry up and finish because I need to get it done now. I'm also pretty bad at switching tasks. I try to multitask, but it doesn't really work out.

I can easily forget about my own physical needs; particularly I don't usually realize when I'm hungry. Overall my needs are very flexible to the people around me; if you want to eat together, suddenly I'm hungry, if you don't feel like stopping, neither do I.

I'm a perfectionist, but I hate asking for help. This is especially true when it comes to my grades and my hobbies. I'm more comfortable when I can control the variables and nobody has to know if I fail.

I'm pretty sure I have executive dysfunction because I put so much pressure on doing things perfectly that I lose the motivation to do them at all, and as much as I need to get something done, I can't make myself do it.

Since I was little I've always been awkward and out of place. I feel like I take up too much space. Honestly, I feel like my existence is lame and embarrassing. I hate myself.

I absolutely suck at decision making, sometimes because I don't want to choose something that other people won't like and partially because I'm just really indecisive. Often I feel stuck or paralyzed because I can't choose one way or another.

Along those same lines, the responsibility of being told to do something for someone else is terrible, and I hate doing these things without incredibly specific instructions because I'm scared of messing up.

I also need to know exact details of whatever activity I'm doing before I do it, and I hate when something big isn't planned out in detail.

I used to have a lot of meltdowns as a child. I’d yell and cry and throw things when I was upset. This still happens sometimes, but not as frequently or as badly.

I feel guilty about everything, including mistakes from years ago that shouldn't matter anymore. This makes me feel sort of unworthy (?), like anything good I do is the bare minimum and if I cause a problem (through anxiety or executive dysfunction) that messes up a project, I feel like I have to do everything else perfectly to make up for it, although I usually end up feeling like I'm coddling myself instead.

I constantly compare myself to others. If someone else has a problem that's worse than what I deal with, I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own negative feelings.

I feel like none of my feelings are valid. I feel and think all sorts of dramatic things that seem like the end of the world, but compared to others, my problems are small, and I feel stupid for having them. I almost wish I had a bigger issue or more dangerous mental problems that would make my responses more reasonable, but my logical side knows that this thinking is wrong.

I've been dealing with off and on burnout since I was around twelve years old (so about five years). I've been told over and over that my mindset is wrong and I need to do a million things better mentally to be less of a perfectionist, but I don't have the energy to put in any effort whatsoever to fix myself. I still get random bursts of motivation that last for short periods of time, though.

Sometimes when I go to bed after a stressful day, I wake up in the morning and I have this uncontrollable dread about starting my day. The thought of getting up sounds impossible, and it's almost like there's something sitting in my chest keeping me down.

#am i autistic? #possible autism #possibly neurodivergent #possibly autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism in girls #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurospicy #autistic things

[feyspeaker]

Hi! I made an account just so I could follow your work. Your art is brilliant and honestly and inspiration to where I want to be. I’m an older artist who has all the anxiety when it comes to improving my process. I’m trying to get into digital portraits and I have so many ideas in my head, but it’s frustrating because I’m not where I want to be to make this happen. What are some tricks that help you/software do you use? Of course, you don’t have to share anything that makes you uncomfortable. I currently have procreate and an iPad, but I feel a little lost. Wondering if I need a different writing tablet and photoshop. Not sure. I just eventually want to find that 3D, but also artistic look you are able to achieve.

hey there! thank you so much!!

ultimately, I will sound like a broken record but I always recommend you sign up for local figure drawing or painting classes. have people pose for you at home and sketch with charcoal and paper. go to the zoo and sit down in front on an exhibit for an hour and try to draw the animals in front of you as fast as you can and fill a couple of pages, move on to a new exhibit and do it again!

nothing is more powerful of a tool to learn than whatever writing utensil you have in your purse and the back of a napkin when you see something you'd like to capture. I've spent quite frankly my entire rememberable life doing this. I used to spend every single day in middle school/high school/my brief failed stint in community college with a pack of cheap sharpies and a beat up binder full of old worksheets and homework to draw on the backs of.

drawing/painting from life will teach you better than anything.

I use a very outdated version of Photoshop, and only got a "nice" tablet in the past 7 months.

Also, a huge tip to you and anyone else reading this: do NOT get too focused on a "style" that you want. Obsessing over that just ruined me for years and years. I wanted so, so, so badly to be the next Matsuri Hino when I was a kid. I copied her work religiously and it NEVER looked right. Frustrated me to no end. And you know why my stuff never looked like hers? Because I'm not her! You can't force your art to come out any way that isn't natural, and the sooner you can accept the art your hand wants to create, the happier you'll be and the easier art will get for you.

The past couple of years before I started diving into this more realism based work, I was just shoving myself through trying to make what art I envied of others. Very stylized/textured watercolor comic book style stuff. And I just was NOT getting any better at it. I have always been more inclined toward realism work, but I've hated it and yearned for stylized work. Yoshitaka Amano? God, I just drooled over that artstyle and beat myself up for never being able to capture it in studies or otherwise.

I finally essentially restructured my entire career around making the art that makes me happy instead of what I "wanted" it to look like. I was extremely depressed, my life was falling apart, and I still needed to make art to survive but I couldn't "art" if I was depressed and hated doing it, so I just had to step back and stop worrying so much about what I thought I wanted to make, and started making what felt most natural.

there's no easy way, and art can be a soul destroying path at times, truly. your software and hardware should come very last place compared to practicing from life (it doesn't matter if you want to paint cartoony stuff of realistic stuff, always start from life). naturally you will find what makes your heart sing the most.

I get a lot of messages from people telling me similar stuff "oh your art is EXACTLY what I want to do!" but I promise you that kind of thought process is chasing a dragon that is likely to harm or drag your creative process down. art style is such a deeply personal thing, so of COURSE it's important to find inspiration, but the second looking at someone else's artwork stops inspiring you and starts frustrating you, put it away.

There are some artists who I love, that I do not check up on often because their artwork ignites, like, serious bitter jealousy in me. It's the truth. I get so mad at myself for not being more like them, and it's such a poison. I think more artists should be transparent about this feeling because I KNOW the art community has a lot of jealousy and ugliness in it.

A fact of being an artist is that you will never be completely happy with a piece you make. You are always going to see the flaws, and that doesn't change whether you'd been drawing for 2 months or 20 years. Occasionally, you will get one piece that you are like "how did I make that???" and then get frustrated that you can't recreate it lol! It's a tough beast.

It's just really important to step back and work on yourself and where you are at, because at the end of the day, the way your soul wants to express artwork might be WILDLY different from what your brain wants, and it can be really detrimental to let those two go to war.

I hope this helps. I'm very passionate about this, and when I started out I ALWAYS ignored the artists who gave the same exact tips as above. I thought they were so annoying and unhelpful, but now I /get it/.

#ask

[jhugas]

‘I ONLY NEED YOU’- Jeon Jungkook

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Genre: fluff

Pairing: Jungkook X 8th member! Reader

Summary: Jungkook is scared of the moment you’ll get a boyfriend, he doesn’t want anyone to take his place and he tells you about it.

Word count: ~1k

Warnings/tags: Jungkook is head over heels for her, kissing, in the anecdote in the beginning: INNOCENT kisses as minors (16yo; first kiss; not sexual nor romantic nor detailed).

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

It was such a long time Jungkook and you were friends, around 13 years now, and ever since the day he met you, he never stopped protecting you and being sort of possessive.

The members asked him many times if he was sure he didn’t have any feelings for you, but he always denied it, even though he was always head over heels for you.

You remember that once, in a competition, Jungkook felt down and unmotivated, and after thinking with the member how could you motivate him, you decided to tell him that if he won the race, he’d win a kiss from you.

And this kiss will forever be in your hearts, because it was for both of you, your first kiss, you were only 16. It happened in the lockers, after asking the members to leave. And let’s say, you honestly didn’t expect kisses to be so comforting.

His lips were soft, innocent, and hesitant even though he tried to seem confident. And the moment you pulled away and just stared at each other, shyly smiling felt unreal.

Growing up, you used to sometimes, kiss in secret, but Namjoon thought it was a bad idea. He knew what you were doing, and as much as he wanted to let you two have fun like normal teens, he was scared of how this will grow in time and its consequences on the group work.

So you both had to stop around 18 years old.

They were always cute, little and innocents kisses you used to give to each other when you were happy, and you remember telling each other:

‘who said kisses were romantic? Kisses aren’t only for couples!’

And since, every time you were together, there was a tension. You both knew you wanted to kiss and stay with each other, but what if it ruined your career?

Moreover, Jungkook was already possessive and jealous enough like that, so if you started kissing or dating again… he might get jealous of his friends for staying with you, and ruining his friendships.

So in those moments where you wanted to kiss, just simply push your lips against each other, you usually just sat on his lap, facing him and looking at his perfect face.

It could be awkward, but it wasn’t. Then, you just rest your head on his shoulder while he passed his fingers in your hair, and sang to you, just like when you were younger, he read you stories to sleep.

And right now, this was the situation. You’re on his lap, resting your head in the crook of his neck while he plays with your hair and sings to you. When suddenly, you hear him sigh.

‘Mhh? What’s wrong?’

You whisper to him.

‘Nothing… don’t worry.’

He replied, but his voice sounded sad.

‘You know you can tell me everything… right?’

You tell him, trying to get him to talk to you one more time.

‘It’s just… I’m kind of scared of the future…’

He answered after taking a deep breath.

‘The future? What do you mean?’

‘I mean y/n, can you imagine? One day you’ll be married. Married! And guess what, I’m going to be there, watching you two flirt, then start dating, having your ‘first kiss’ and first time, then marrying each other and having kids. I just don’t want to see this. But it has to happen, right?’

He finally said as you face to him.

‘I… no, it doesn’t have to happen, why?’

‘Because I wanna stay with you, and I might be selfish but I want you just to myself, and no one else. There’s a guy out here, that’s going to take my place, and you’re going to love him more than me. I just don’t want to see this.’

‘But, you’re going to start dating too, not just me! One day you’ll have a girlfriend that you’ll marry too!’

‘No, I won’t.’

‘Oh?’

‘Because I only need you and no one else. I only care about you. I don’t care about the whole world hating me if I have you on my side. You’re all I care about, I don’t need anyone else!’

‘You’re just saying this, but in a few years, you might already get married.’

‘With no one yeah! Never!’

‘I can’t be the only one for you… you’ll find someone else, and you’ll see, you’ll probably love her more than me.’

You say, but he frowns his eyebrows and stay like this in silence, looking deep in your eyes. When suddenly, he got closer to you, until his face got just in front of yours.

‘I said, I only, need, you.’

Then a silence settles in, realizing how close you are. It’s so tempting to kiss him, his pink, soft lips with a piercing are begging to be kissed, loved. And you’d like to ask him if you can kiss each other again, or maybe just one last time, but maybe he wasn’t into this anymore… maybe he’d find it odd…

But it’s almost impossible to back up, it’s like your body is moving on its own, your hands leave his shoulders to cup his face, and you look at him one more time.

Again, it could be awkward, but it wasn’t. You catch him looking at your lips, before looking deep into your eyes like he’s asking for permission for something.

You get closer to initiate the move and he immediately pushed his lips against yours, kissing you passionately and slowly. Your lips complementing each other like a puzzle, it’s like he’s the only person that could kiss you like that, that can make you feel so good.

Naturally, your lips start moving along and his hands move from your hips to your back repeatedly, caressing you.

It’s night and there isn’t a single sound bothering you two, the only sound that can be heard is the one of your lips, breaths and your hands exploring each other through the clothes.

It was so pleasing to finally kiss him again after all of those years, this was something you both really needed.

Then, the night went on and finished up by you two cuddling cutely on his bed (with pillows), and the morning started by him bringing breakfast to you, on his bed.

What do you think?

Did he or will he realize his feelings for you?

Will he confess?

Talk about the kiss or just act like nothing happened?

Thank you for reading! Likes are veryyyyy appreciated but reblogs and comments actually help the writers get more exposure. Thank you!

Masterlist

#army #bts #fanfic #scenarios #imagine #one shot #jungkook x you #jungkook #bts fanfic #Jungkook Drabble #Jungkook one shot #Jungkook fluff #fluff #bts fluff #Jungkook comfort #bts comfort #bts drabble

[indigosunsetao3]

Some of My Headcanons

While my stories may not mix together all the characters still have the same little quirks in all of them. Just a fun little thing to list out and honestly help myself remember them all. I'll add to this as I think of things or remember them.

Alex Keller

Coffee - His favorite coffee flavor is blueberry. Everyone on the team thinks it's disgusting and tastes like burnt blueberries but Alex gets it whenever he can.

Computers - Alex can figure his way into just about anything. Give him a computer and reliable internet he'll find what he needs, even if that means some illegal hacking or questionable methods.

Language - Alex learns languages easily. He may not be able to write them all but he can read and interpret quite a few. If it's a new language he doesn't know yet give him enough time he'll be able to speak enough for basic communication.

Rules - Everyone thinks that Price is the rule breaker of the group and no one suspects the polite American boy. That's to their own detriment. Alex will break any and all rules if he thinks they are wrong. To the point Price has had to reign him in or throw him on the sidelines when they work together.

Singing - Alex can sing. He never did it seriously, like joining a band or singing in the school choir but he definitely has the talent. It's just something he likes to do and came naturally to him. He does it mostly when he thinks no one is listening because he's not confident in it despite what people tell him.

John "Soap" MacTavish

Artist - Despite Horrible handwriting Soap can draw extremely well. It started as a pastime as a kid that turned into a coping mechanism and hobby as an adult. He doesn't often share his works with others so when he does, consider yourself lucky.

Handwriting - His penmanship is chicken scratch that over time the team has learned to read but good luck to anyone else.

Notebook - He has stacks of notebooks full of his old sketches and field notes. None of them are ever tossed, just packed away somewhere in his townhouse. All the books are different but what always stays the same is the worn out leather cover that he uses to protect the current one he's using. He looks at it as his good luck charm since it's always on him and he always comes home. It was a gift from his mother.

Touch - Soap is a person that shows attention, affection or support by physical touch. It can be a simple pat on the shoulder, leg brush under the table, hug or even hair ruffle. No one is excluded from this, even Price. Ghost took a while to get used to it and would swat or shove him away but he's accustomed to it now.

John Price

Body Language - Price is always careful with his words, knows what to say and when to say it. But his body doesn't get that message, you can always tell the his mood by how he carries himself; good or bad.

Football - He owns season tickets to Chelsea but he works so much he barely goes. Yet, he can't quite give them up either. He tells himself one day he'll be home enough to enjoy the game.

Sleep - He goes from one extreme to the other. He will either find a chair, corner of a room or a vaguely quiet spot for a nap as often as possible because he's just so exhausted all the time. Or he goes weeks with barely sleeping a handful of hours a night, but functions just fine. There is no in between.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Clothes - Gaz will look for an excuse to dress up. He loves a good suit, cufflinks with matching tie clip, pocket squares and shined shoes. If he's not dressing up you can still expect his look to be coordinated and impeccable, nothing out of place and always sharp.

Dancing - Gaz took dancing lessons as a kid with his sister that he continued through as a teenager. He danced competitively in ballroom and swing placing in a few championships.

Football Fan - He and Price bond over their love of football. He and his sister go to games whenever he is on leave at home since her husband is not a fan.

Smoking - He's tried to quit multiple times but it's just a habit he can't shake. He doesn't smoke as much as he used to, tired of Ghost riding his ass about it. But if he's stressed or needs to clear his head he'll sneak away for a quick smoke.

Snoring - Gaz snores. It’s not the cute kind and it’s definitely not quiet. Everyone hates being bunkmates with him because he’ll keep you up or wake you up. It’s been this way since he was a teenager, his mother even took him to the doctor but they found nothing medically wrong. Mans just loud.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Alarm Clock - Ghost has an internal alarm clock that wakes him up the same time every day. Whether he went to bed eight hours ago or two.

Patterns - Ghost is ridiculously good at spotting patterns. No one likes watching movies with him because he guesses the ending ten minutes in. But he's also the first one to sense something is wrong or feels off because humans follow a pattern by nature even if they don't realize it; Simon does .

Reading - Ghost reads. A lot. But it's all non-fiction. He always wants to learn and will pick up just about any book he finds, sometimes nicking them from others barracks, before replacing them a few days later when he's done with them.

Smoking - He hates smoking. He rides the teams ass for it. In the early days he'd punish the Sergeant's with running laps if he caught them but now he just yells. He doesn't get on Price but that's only because he's the Captain.

#cod headcanons #headcanon #call of duty #call of duty fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 writer #ao3 author #alex keller #kyle gaz garrick #johnny soap mactavish #john price #simon ghost riley #cod gaz #cod soap #cod ghost #cod john price #cod alex

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: 4 Minutes (The Power of Madonna)

Sung by: Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones Original Artist(s): Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

Baby penguin my ass.

I sometimes go back and read 'of the day' reviews, and one of them stated that this episode featured too much music. And I got to thinking, while I clearly don't agree, this is the one that would probably end up on the chopping block. I'm very glad it didn't though, because I think it has more to say than you may think.

And it's only one of two duets we get between Kurt and Mercedes.

Story Anaylsis

It's really nice to be talking about Kurt again... when is the last time???

So, here's the fascinating thing about this one. Kurt and Mercedes both often feel like they're playing second fiddle - especially to Rachel Berry. And here they get to showcase their amazing talents together. But the thing is - they got this huge performance as a thank you from Sue for making her over in Vogue. (Also - Sue is doing this as an FU to Will, but Sue is savvy enough to know talent when she sees it - and Kurt will remain one of her favorites for the rest of the series.)

The song itself is a little random story wise -- and most likely chosen because it was a highly energetic, more modern hit. It's a song about going out and saving the world in 4 minutes? Honestly - the lyrics are supposed to be about saving the planet, and having the urgency to do so. But I can finagle a few things...

I think one of the things both Kurt and Mercedes are doing here are latching onto the urgency in their own lives. Sue's giving them a chance to shine and they're both going to take it. Neither of them is willing to wait around for Will to give them a chance. So, they'll make their own chances. Which speaks to both their characters, really.

But if I die tonight At least I can say I did what I wanted to do Tell me, how bout you?

I think the lyrics are mostly not the point in this one. But I like this little stanza. It speaks to the two of them briming with their own confidence and jumping at the chance to show, at least the school, what they can do.

I'm going to quote myself from my Kurt meta:

One of the things I really love is how confident both Kurt and Mercedes are in this dance number–with the whole school watching.  Before, both of them were looked down upon, and thrown in dumpsters, and slushied, but now that they’re with the Cheerios and singing Madonna, they really latch on to a growing self-confidence.  Sure, they aren’t there yet, and they have many more obstacles to go over, but just the fact that they’re up there performing, uncaring really what anyone else thinks, is a step in the right direction.

I will say - one of the things that I've often had a hard time buying on this show is that people continually think that these kids are losers. I'd have been so amazed if I saw a performance like this in high school. There's no reason any of these kids get the hate they get except for the fact that the plot needs them to be.

Technical Thoughts

First of all - I love that they arranged this as a marching band song. Not only is it a great interpretation to the heavy sound of the original song, but it's nice to see a marching band used well on screen.

Secondly, they sound pretty good! I love Kurt in his lower register. And Mercedes just owns this song. It's not surprising that they had them switch parts because Amber is much more comfortable with kind of song than Chris and it does show a little bit in the vocal track.

The on screen charisma, though, they both have it. The fact that both Mercedes and Kurt feel so comfortable in their bodies is fantastic. Neither of them are what mainstream society would label as sexy or hot but I love, love, love that this speaks to that -- that these two are both sexy and hot in this number as they play off each other. The choreography on this is the best, and I love that they allow these characters to be in control and confident in their bodies.

Also - sometimes I don't think Chris gets enough credit. Yes, he can be clumsy and fall of a piano (oh we will get there) but sometimes he just owns his physicality in a way that is never commented on is just remarkable.

This performance also has some great reaction shots. I love that Will looks annoyed and almost disappointed. Rachel's 'no comment' was perfect. And I love that Quinn genuinely seems to be enjoying herself. (I love when Quinn gets to be a human.)

Also - super technical thing - but notice all the quick cuts and camera whips? I'm sure that was done purposely to enhance the urgency the song is trying to create.

Fun fact: Apparently, this is the last time Kurt does a duet with anyone else besides Blaine and Rachel until Adam Lambert shows up. Crazy right? Shame that the show doesn't try out varying combinations more often.

vs. The Studio Version: It's the full song! Or more so it feels like they just repeat the chorus a few more times. I do like the second half, though, because they both get into the song just a bit more and it feels even more powerful than the show version.

vs. The Original Song: I love that this song is actually 4 minutes long. It is slightly slower than Glee's version - which makes sense, because that's Glee's trend - to make everything just a little bit faster (I assume to fit into time limit of being on a tv show). As I said earlier, I think Glee's marching band interpretation is really cool - because it's a great in world adaptation of the instrumentation the original song uses. That all said, what is going on in this video? I don't get how this reflects saving the world. *shrugs*

#the great glee rewatch #so's musical retrospective #glee #glee music #kurt hummel #Youtube

[jujutsukatsuki]

Toxic Eren x Reader fic for funsies <3

TW: substance abuse, overdose, rockstar!eren, Eren sings a Fall out boy song, cheating, Angsty

‘Y/n, if you’ve gotten this letter, it means I’m finally working the steps. When I first met you, I asked you if you could love me at worst. With bright eyes and a beautiful smile, you told me you’d love me until I was dead. That question has been haunting me since that night. I never figured it out why until now. You can love me at my worst, but I can’t love you at my worst.

You were everything to me. My moon, my sun, my stars. You loved me more than anyone ever had. I fell in love with you in the beginning in the wrong ways.

I was in love because I was high.

I told you I loved you because I wanted to fuck you. I realized how bad of a issue I’ve become. All the money I threw away to make sure my habits were filled. I was too fucked up to give any kind fuck.

I know I hurt you that night you found me on bathroom floor. I know I scared you. I’m sorry for all the lies I told, like I wasn’t cheating on you, like I wasn’t doing pills. I’m sorry.

I wish you could have met me before all the drugs. Before I burnt every bridge I had. Before I drank myself to sleep every night. Before the fame and glory.

I’m sorry for all the fights I caused and places I got us kicked out of. The jealous moments I had, watching you with Armin, how natural the chemistry between the two of you was, I lost my composure. I shouldn’t have hit him. Not when hours later I was fucking some girl whose name I didn’t know.

I’m sorry it got this bad. I’m sorry I got this bad.

I love you so much. I love the way you cared for me. The way you’d hold me and tell me you’d follow me to a graveyard. I want to go back and shake you, tell you to run before I ruin you. Tell you that I’ll hurt you.

You tried to save me but now you need to let me go. Please. Move on. Armin told me you’re waiting for me. Please don���t. Don’t do that to yourself.

I love you Y/n. But please move on. - Eren’

You look at the letter in your hand. The car radio is playing in the background. Armin let’s out a small breath.

“You okay?”

“No.” You whisper before setting the letter down. You buckle up and start to drive, turning the radio up. Of course it’s his song. You listen to his voice fill your car.

“We’re the kids who feel like dead ends.”

“Eren put me down!” You squeal. You had met Eren just a few hours before. Now here you were, him swinging you around before collapsing under the big oak tree on campus.

“Fine, fine.” He laughs as you both now lay in the soft grass, watching clouds blow by.

He tells you that he wants to be a musician, that he wants fame and glory. Words are falling out of his mouth faster than his brain can react. Eren is telling you about how his mother and father are in a loveless marriage and how he’d rather die than end up like them.

“The record just won’t stop skipping and the lies just won’t stop slipping and besides, my reputations on the line.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Eren screams at his crew that’s currently working on his newest music video. He had been sober for a few hours, longest he had been. He was out of drugs and was turning into an asshole.

“How long have you been sober?” Armin asks him as he sulks in his make up chair.

“Few days.” This is a lie that Armin sees through it but doesn’t say anything.

“Please put the doctor on the phone cause I’m not making any sense.”

He had disappeared into the bathroom hours ago after a fight. Finally you get the courage to go check on him. Pressing your ear to the door gives you zero answers. It’s silent. You fear the worst.

“Eren?! Eren!!” You scream and begin pounding on the door. Nothing.

You grab your phone and start to dial 9-1-1. Armin leaves his room to check what’s going on. He decides to break the door. The lady on the other end of the phone is asking you questions you only answer after her second time asking most of them.

Eren is laying on the ground, a puddle of puke next to him, his skin is ghostly white. Eyes half lidded. You scream and sob as you kneel next to him, cradling his body in your arms as you cry for him to wake up until the ambulance gets there.

“We can fake it for the airwaves. Force our smiles baby, half dead. From comparing myself to everyone else around me.”

The song fades out as you drive, tears are rolling down your cheeks, Armin glances to you. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. The radio cuts the silence.

“Rockstar Eren Yeager has entered rehab after a rumored long time substance and Alcohol abuse. This is coming after the news of his overdose three months ago where it’s said that his long time girlfriend, Y/n Y/l, and manager Armin Arlert, found him on the bathroom floor of the house all three of them share.”

#eren Yeager x reader #Eren x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk x reader #eren jaeger x reader

[inklessletter]

I am an only child. My (way too) soon to be husband is an only child.

That means that if we happen to have a kid they're not going to have aunts, or uncles, or cousins. It also means that I will not be able to have nephews and nieces. Which is pretty sad (and I don't want to be sad).

That's why I'm taking this opportunity to offer myself to be the Steve Harrington in your kid's life, just for limited time!

Here are my best skills:

I may not have a nail bat, but I'm crafty and I know how to use youtube to find a tutorial to make one.

I have great taste in music, and I can sing every single 90s Disney movie score by heart. In two languages.

Don't give a shit about sports but I am full of love and rage and I will stand the whole match and will be ready to fight that ref in your kid's behalf.

I'm terrified of driving but I've got a license and a car and someone that loves me enough to drive me (us) anywhere.

Make peace with the fact that I will eventually get your kid out of school a couple hours early to eat shitty food that you, parents, won't let them eat at home (and you'll never know about it, they will trust me because of that).

Because they will trust me, I will be able to know beforehand when they're in trouble and/or need The Talk. I'll let you know when that happens.

I can roll eyes to the back of my school like anyone else and I look stunning with my hands in my hips.

I will help them clean the messes they're afraid to tell you they made. Don't worry, you'll know about this. Eventually.

I will teach them how to defend themselves from mouthbreathers and bullies.

That puppy that came out of nowhere and that "your kid found alone and about to die under the rain" was me. It was me, I gave it to them. Don't blame me, they asked nicely.

That money you asked them to earn to buy that fancy cell phone they can't afford that you know it was not possible for them to get before the silly short date you gave them? It was me. I gave those seventy two dollars. Don't blame me, I want to talk to them, too.

I will spoil them at Christmas and I will dress as Santa the first six years of their lives if you want me to.

If your kids misbehave on my watch I will make them cringe so hard that they'll be nice for me, and you, for the rest of the week.

And most importantly

I will die and/or kill for your kid. That's the Harrington's brand.

That being said, if you're interested, contact me. I've got so much love to give and I am so ready to be a rolemodel 75% of the time and a walking cringe the other 25%.

Love,

Inky

#inklessletter #harrington service #dumb shit #but seriously i'd love to have a sibling to spoil

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

A Drop of Golden Sun

(Joel Miller x singing teacher female)

Words: 3, 692

Summary: Ellie takes up singing lessons and Joel reluctantly joins in. Singing teaching is my profession and this is what I actually do! I would love some feedback on this story as I need to know if it makes any sense to non-musicians. I’m writing an educational paper on the teaching of singing so if anyone also wants to read that, let me know!

Warnings: a bit of a slow burn between two adorable people, some swearing, lots of singing, a grown man being embarrassed, I’ve only seen the TV series so forgive me if my knowledge is lacking

Check out my crazy masterlist here

“How can you tell if someone is tone deaf?”

That was a question you haven’t heard in a while. You weren’t sure how the teenager in front of you would think to ask you, but her eyes were full of curiosity, and you were eager to explain.

“If someone was tone deaf, they wouldn’t be able to recognise the melody of a song. It’s very rare for someone to be tone deaf.”

“It is?” You knew this was Ellie, a newcomer to Jackson. You’d seen her around the school, sitting in the back of music class, not quite wanting to join in, just taking in the strange new atmosphere of singing along. You’d seen her being picked up by what you supposed was her father Joel after school. The two were adorably matched in surly attitude and clashed heads but you felt the love between them. It took a while for them to be properly introduced to everyone, but Ellie seemed more eager to know the towns music teacher, Joel standing closely behind the questioning teenager.

“Can you tell the difference between these two notes?” you started humming a very familiar two notes, a knowing smirk crossed the Joel’s lips. Ellie nodded, unaware of what was to happen. You hummed the same two notes again, then progressed in a faster rhythm, finally you opened your mouth to belt out the final bit to the Jaws theme. Ellie’s eyes opened wide in surprise.

“Wow! That was amazing! Did you write that song yourself?”

You and Joel shared a silent laugh, “Yes, I totally wrote that song myself.” The sarcasm seemed to be lost to the teenager.

“Would you be able to teach anyone to sing? No matter how terrible a singer they are?”

“Oh yeah, if someone has the enthusiasm and is willing to put in the work, then yeah.”

“So how can you tell if someone is a bad singer?”

“Well then, I’d have to hear them sing first. Do you know the lyrics to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?”

“Isn’t that a kid’s song?”

“Yes, which means it’ll be an easy song.”

“Well, I don’t know the song. They didn’t really teach us that stuff in basic training.”

“That’s okay, I can sing it for you if you want?”

Joel mumbled out, “I know the words.” He scratched the back of his head, hoping his words would be lost but you heard him well.

Ellie looked shocked, “You do?”

“Well, I was a dad, so I know all those kinds of songs.”

You brightened up, “I’d love to hear it.”

He sighed deeply, knowing what he’d have to face. He gave Ellie a death glare before he started off on the nursery rhyme. He started off quite confidently but soon realised all eyes in the room were on him, so he sang the last few lines quickly and let it fade away. You applauded his performance enthusiastically and Ellie joined in.

“Whoo! Real crooner there!”

To say Joel’s glare was a death glare was an understatement, but then he looked at the happiness on your face and softened, his embarrassment replaced by bashfulness.

“That was really good!” You swore you saw a bit of blush crawling up his neck.

“I want to try it!” Ellie then started her own version of the nursery rhyme. Her enthusiasm was almost infectious even if she didn’t get all the words or notes right. You applauded her performance almost before Joel did.

“Do you do private lessons?” the question from the man who just sang a nursery rhyme was one you haven’t heard in a while, “I know you do music at the school and all…”

“No, I mean yes, I can do private lessons. I just have to find the time between stuff.”

Ellie interrupted with a casual shove to Joel’s shoulder, “If you need anything fixin’, this guy’ll do it for you. He was a contractor.”

The laugh that came out of your mouth left her confused but you nodded to the man, agreeing to make an arrangement later.

*****

The story of how you survived an outbreak, and the collapse of society was probably put down to luck. You were managing the dull humdrum of surviving each day, becoming numb to everything you once took for granted. Finding the Jackson outpost became a glimmer of hope. Soon, your frozen heart defrosted with the melting snow. Soon word floated around of your life before everything changed and Maria approached you about setting up a music class in the school and now you came back to your old profession in some form.

How they managed to find a piano, let along a functioning piano at the end of human civilisation was nothing short of a miracle. Soon after, you had the luxury of paper to which you could write down some music which somehow didn’t leave your brain after all these years. You spent countless hours with a pencil and ruler making lines of music before you could start writing musical notes.

Things that were once an unnecessary luxury now became a needed break from the insanity that is the world ending. Jackson had settled into a routine for survival but once life settled a gentle harmony of peace and quiet hummed in the atmosphere. Ration cards were now being used to recreate childhood comfort foods and things that were once forgotten gradually crept back into life. Time could now be spent on things such as reading or randomly humming a song that became stuck in your head. Not having to survive a night in the freezing wilderness or worrying about where your next bite would come from could do that to you.

*****

A knock at the door of the school music room brought you back to when you first started teaching, the nerves came fluttering back. Ellie came sauntering into the room, closely followed by Joel.

“You’re both here for a lesson?”

“Well just me,” said Ellie, “He’s just here for moral support.”

You smiled at his surly face, “You can join in anytime you want. I want to see how you breathe, so I’d like you to take a nice deep breath and recite as much of the alphabet as you can on that one breath. Do that make sense?”

Ellie nodded and took a deep breath, raising her shoulders and managed to do the whole alphabet. You stood up and put your hands under your stomach, “That was good, but you were raising your shoulders, which only uses and eighth of your lung capacity. Put your hands under your stomach,” she copied you, “Now imagine your stomach is a balloon: when you breathe in, you inflate the balloon and when you breathe out, you deflate the balloon.” You demonstrated, letting your stomach go right out and in. Ellie eagerly copied you while Joel casually followed along, he took to the technique more easily than Ellie who was trying to wrap her head around this new way of breathing.

“How are you feeling?” you asked her.

“It feels weird. How’d you pick it up so quick?” she asked Joel.

“I’m older, I’ve had more experience with breathing.”

“You’re old you’d think you’d have trouble with breathing.”

“I’m not that old!” You couldn’t help but chuckle at this exchange.

“Let me know if you start feeling dizzy because lots of oxygen will be getting into your brain.”

“Maybe your brain will get smarter from all that oxygen,” Joel mumbled.

You went and sat at the piano, everything coming back to you now. “We’re going to do some warm ups, get the vocal muscles going. I like to talk them out before singing them. Now, imagine that some freshly baked cookies just came out of the oven,” you paused as you weren’t sure if Ellie would have ever experienced something such as freshly baked cookies.

“How about bread? Just out of the oven?” Joel suggested and that helped bring you back on track.

“Okay, so imagine the smell of freshly baked bread, that lovely smell,” you closed your eyes, “and you just…mmm” you hummed, imagining the taste of bread dancing on your tongue. Ellie and Joel closed their eyes and joined you in this dance of humming. You opened your eyes, “So you know how that feels? We’re now going to add music to it.”

Your fingers graced over the keys as if you never stopped teaching. All twenty years of hardship forgotten and felt like you only did this yesterday. You played up three notes and then went back down.

“I’ll demonstrate what we’re going to do. So hum along to this,” you played the sequence and hummed along, “And when I play the next bit,” you played the next note up to start a new sequence, “This is when you’ll breathe, and then we’ll hum along again,” you hummed along with the next sequence, “Then we’ll keep going up. Does that make sense?”

Ellie nodded but hesitantly looked to Joel for reassurance. “You can do it together or I can do it with you if you like?” She nodded for you to join her, so she hummed along going up the piano.

“How did that feel? I’m going to be asking that a lot.”

“It felt fine. Still weird.”

“Well it’s going to get weirder. That’s how singing goes. So, now we’re going to do what I call yawn singing. Yawning helps get that nice, relaxed feeling in our throat which is important to singing,” you gave a big dramatic yawn to demonstrate, “Let’s try that.” Ellie felt a little awkward yawning along with you, knowing it was something that had always been the source of scorn among others and yet here you were encouraging it. “Okay, let’s put that to music.”

You played the same musical sequence as before, Ellie yawn singing along with you. Joel was just the quiet observer in all this. “How did that feel?”

“It was definitely weird!” Joel just hummed in agreement.

“Now, have you ever laughed so much it hurt your stomach?”

Joel snorted, “Not with her bad jokes.”

“Hey, my jokes are excellent!” You saw the hint of a smile between the two of them.

“Well laughing gets our diaphragm muscles working so what we’ll do is take one tiny breath and go ‘ha ha ha ha ha’. Okay?” You all put your hands on your stomachs and did a few little laughs before adding the music. Instinctively your hands reached up as if to pop little bubbles of music, another memory from before. You realised and became slightly self-conscious of it. “How did that feel?”

“It felt good.”

“Good. Now we’ll actually get to a song!” You got up from the piano stool to place a piece of handwritten music in front of Ellie and Joel. He gave a knowing nod to the title of the song: Do Re Mi from The Sound of Music.

“That brings me back,” he mused.

“What? Back to the time of the dinosaurs?”

You gave Ellie a cheeky look, “So are you saying I’m that old?” That caused a smile to cross Joel’s face, and you joined in, and you continued with the lesson. “The way I like to approach a song is to do the tune, the melody, by itself; then we do the words by themselves; then we put the two of them together. Does that make sense?” Ellie nodded so you returned to the piano and started playing the tune which was one you always started new students on. “Feel free to hum along.”

It took a little while for her to get used to the tune which you knew was completely foreign to her, but she was determined to get the tune on her tongue.

“Alright, we’ll tackle the lyrics now,” You stood up and made your way to Ellie’s piece of music. You picked up the pencil that was on the makeshift stand. “The way we pronounce our words when we sing will be different to how we say them normally. I like talking out the lyrics in the rhythm so we can focus on the words and how they should feel when we sing them. Again, it’s going to be weird, but it’ll make sense once we add the music.” You used the pencil as a pointer and tapped out the rhythm to get syllable.

“When we get to a long note, we have to make sure the end of the word is heard clearly. If you do the long note but fade off then no one will know what word you just sang, so we have to emphasise it, almost making them two separate words. So, ‘Ray, a drop of golden su nuh’” you underlined the n in sun to make your point. “Let’s talk this out.”

Ellie followed along with you quite eagerly, sometimes looking to Joel like an eager puppy learning a new skill. You fed her with enthusiastic praise and her energy was bouncing in the air.

“Okay, let’s put the words to music,” you sat back down on the piano stool and started up the melody again, “Don’t worry, I’ll sing along with you.”

You started singing at your normal volume but softened it once you heard the confidence building in Ellie’s voice. “How was that?”

She shrugged, “Pretty good.”

“Okay, we’re going to get weird again. We’re going to yawn sing this. So imagine you’ve just come out of the dentist, oh wait. Just imagine your mouth has stopped working.”

“Like you’ve been drunk?”

“When have you ever been drunk?” asked Joel.

“I’ll sing this with you,” You started playing the song again. Ellie was trying hard not to giggle at the absurdity of the exercise, Joel once again quietly observing. “How did that feel?”

“Fun! Weird but fun.”

“Good. Now we’re going to laugh sing this. We won’t do the words, every one will be a short little ‘ha’.” You played the song again and Joel joined in softly on this one.

“Now, we’ll go back to singing with the words. When we get to one of the long notes, we’ll imagine we’re yawn singing it. And when we get to any little notes, we’ll imagine we’re laugh singing it. Does that make sense?”

Ellie nodded, eager to sing again. This time around, the change was obvious. “Did that feel any different?”

“A little bit, the higher notes felt better. Can we do it again?”

“Yeah sure, we can go as many times as you want.”

You played the song a few more times, you didn’t want Ellie to tire herself out in her first lesson. Before you knew it, the time had flown by, and the lesson had ended. Her poor face sunk in sadness but lit up when you said you’d see her next week. Joel nodded his thanks as he led her out the door.

*****

Sure enough, Ellie came by the following week followed by Joel. She told you she had practiced, and you believed her. You had started introducing a method you created where the singer uses their hands to sort of direct their voice forward. You mainly created the method to help singers with their breathing as a lot of them tried to breathe before finishing a musical sentence. It also helped make sure a long word ended strong. It was always fun to get students to imagine them poking the end of a word. Ellie took this literally and tried to poke Joel while singing and claiming she was practicing.

Soon word spread that you were teaching privately and more people in the community wanted to take up lessons. A lot of them were ones who remembered music from school and wanted a return to childhood. Others were told that they couldn’t sing which was a common thing with adult students. This encouraged several of the children to start lessons and word of forming a choir was now spreading. You would hope to get it up and running in time for a community talent show. A talent show was something that hadn’t happened in the world for a long, long time.

You found yourself playing on the piano more in your spare time. You fingers remembered how to play certain songs. That corner of your mind letting you play so freely, getting lost in the music. This song was one you hadn’t sung in a while.

Summertime, and the living is easy. Fish are jumpin’. And the cotton is high.

Oh, your daddy’s rich. And your ma is good lookin’.

So hush, little baby don’t you cry.

You sensed someone was watching and you nearly fell off the piano stool. Your heart being left behind to where it jumped out of your body. Joel rushed over to stop you from falling over like a complete fool.

“Shit, m’sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt; your singing was just so lovely.”

You paused, “Oh, thanks. Hadn’t sung that one in a while, put my guard down.”

“I’m not able to let my guard down yet.”

“Give it a few years. Was Ellie having a lesson today?”

“No, no,” he scratched the back of his head, “I actually had a question about a song I’m doin’.”

“You’re singing at the talent show?”

He sighed, “I was convinced.”

“Convinced?”

“Well, strongly convinced by Ellie who went and told everyone I was singin’.”

You laughed, “Yeah, she’s very convincing. So what song are you doing?”

He almost had trouble getting the words out, “Can’t Help Fallin’ in Love with You.”

“Oh lovely, is that for anyone special?”

He coughed out a maybe, but you didn’t question him further. “There’s a part I have trouble with, thought I should ask the expert.”

You went and sat back at the piano, “I’m more than happy to help.”

“Most of the song is fine, it’s just the middle part, ‘the only to the sea’ part.”

You hummed the part, looking to Joel if it was the correct part and he nodded. “Well, “there’s a few reasons why you might be having trouble with it. Sometimes it’s the notes, sometimes it’s the words and sometimes it's both,” you let out a contented sigh, “We can take it apart and see, well hear, where it’s giving you trouble.”

“Normally trouble is Ellie.” You joined in the laugher, noting how his eyes lit up.

“Let’s sing the part on doo.”

“Like that laugh singing?”

“You were paying attention?”

“I have to, to make sure Ellie practices.”

“It will be a little like laugh singing. We only have to lightly touch the tops of the notes. And we barely need any energy for these small notes. Most people tend to punch every note,” you gestured you hands to emphasise your point, “We only have to ‘boop’ them.”

“Boop?”

“Yes boop. I told you singing gets weird. But we’ll go with doo.”

Joel went through the sequence on doo, then dee. He seemed less uncomfortable with the strangeness of the exercises from accompanying Ellie to lessons over the weeks but having to do them himself was a lot different.

“Let’s try them with the words now but imagine lightly touching those notes.” He tried them but you heard he would hesitate on the top notes. “Would you be willing to use your hands?”

He sighed but gave it a go, following your movements. They were less elegant than yours but it did seem to help him with those notes causing him issue.

“Just try them by yourself and hopefully your brain will get used to it.”

“Thanks” he hesitated, “So I’m guessin’ you did all this teaching before,” he waved his hand, “everything?”

“I did. Ellie told me you wanted to be a singer but became a contractor.”

“I’m gonna have to tell her to watch where her mouth runs, but yeah, I did want to be a singer.”

“What stopped you?”

“Life I guess. And more than one person tellin’ me I couldn’t sing.”

“Were they experts?” he shook his head, “Then they had no right telling you.”

“Kinda wish you were around to tell them that.”

“We’re here now.”

“I’m glad we are.”

*****

“That will bring us back to do! Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do!”

The applause was rapturous for Ellie’s performance. She did a low bow and made her way back to the audience. Tommy, acting as MC, got up to the assigned performance area. “Another round of applause for Ellie! And now, finally making his debut, let’s welcome my brother Joel!”

After a pause, Joel reluctantly made his way to the front. He sat on the chair provided and placed the guitar on his knee. After a false start, he started strumming the guitar. His voice was softly coming through to the audience, he never once looked out to see how many people were watching him sing. Joel got to the part where he would hesitate, and you hoped your worry wouldn’t mentally pass on to him. The exercises you put him through must have worked because he passed through that part without any issues. Normally, most people would rush towards the end, their brain wanting to finish the song, but Joel didn’t speed up and fade off like he did all those weeks ago with that nursery rhyme.

“Take my hand, take my whole life too. But I can’t help fallin’ in love with you,” suddenly he lifted his head and looked straight into your eyes, “But I can’t help fallin’ in love with you.”

Oh. Oh…

The applause seemed to wash over the thrumming in your head. Surely, he wasn’t singing this love song to you. He was probably just looking to you for reassurance, that’s all it was.

“So, did he win you over with his singing?”

You were lost for words, “He what?”

“What better way to confess his feelings than through a love song?”

Joel had to butt in, “I kept sayin’ she’s a much lovelier singer so it wouldn’t work.”

You had to correct him, “Well it did work.”

“Oh. Oh.”

Ellie was practically singing, “I told you!”

Lovingly tagging @chaithetics @meveispunk @cevans-is-classic @tessa-quayle @boliv-jenta @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @myloveistoolittle @brilliantopposite187

#pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us tv #the last of us 2023 #the last of us hbo #the last of us #tlou 2023 #tlou series #tlou hbo #tlou

[missmaywemeetagain]

I need to tell someone this, get it off my chest, and I don’t think my irl friends will understand. So I’m trusting you.

I have never felt more in love in my life. I haven’t fangirled this hard in 6 years, probably never this hard in my life. I’m so in love with this man. I just watched the Elvis movie and of course I thought I was going to have a *little* Austin Butler phase, but to my surprise I barely even touched Austin, to my surprise I’ve fallen down the Elvis Presley rabbit hole, harder than ive ever fallen before. I didn’t know anything about him before that movie and here I am listening to all his music and slowly going thru his movies and TV appearances. I barely say “i love you” out loud but I’ve been saying it over and over when I listen to his singing and when I watch him on the screen.

I feel insane. I’ve been contemplating breaking up with my boyfriend because I feel so in love with this man who, even if he was still alive, i would never be with. I’ve been contemplating convincing myself heaven is real just to know I’ll meet him one day. Very intense. This “confession” is all light hearted, but I am honestly wondering if I’m the only one... I’m going crazy right?!

(I feel very embarrassed to be telling anyone this, so if you think I’m crazy pls be nice😭 but I felt like I had to tell someone)

Oh, Nonnie honey, Nonnie BABY, I think that SO MANY of us here can relate to what you are saying!

First, thank you for sharing this with me! I so very much connect with what you are saying here on a number of levels.

Listen, my life has been a series of hyperfixations and fandoms and there is a very good reason I call myself a “lifelong fangirl.” I’ve made shows/music/musicals/ people my entire personality for certain moments in time for as long as I can remember. Now I’m writing A LITERAL NOVEL imagining a romance with a man who’s been dead for nearly half a century. And I LOVE it. It can be intense and irl people sometimes (often) think I’m nuts but it’s part of my DNA to be this way and I am cool with that!

All this to say that with Elvis Presley, things are a little bit different. This is my second go-around with him and it is definitely more intense in a lot of ways than other fandoms I’ve been in, especially this time around, I think because of the Elvis community on social media has exploded since the movie and there is more info so readily available about him now than ever before. Maybe it’s because the world and life have been a complete clusterfuck for the last few years and it’s just nice to settle into something that makes us feel GOOD and connects us to people. Elvis is perhaps one of the first and strongest parasocial relationships in the world, and research has shown that parasocial relationships in general are on the rise because of what’s been going on in the world. So there’s THAT, too!

But let’s be real—Elvis is unlike anyone or anything before or after him. I am not entirely kidding when I say I’m convinced he has some preternatural/supernatural/ethereal/not-of-this-world quality to him that is simply unexplainable. Like how does a man who has been DEAD 45 YEARS STILL MANAGE TO GAIN/KEEP DIEHARD FANS all this time later? How does he have nearly as many people visit his home as they do the White House? How is he still one of the most prolific recording artists of all time? His fans have been equated to a religion. That is POWERFUL SHIT. It’s as if he was a star than burned so intensely, so brightly, that made such an impact, that the world couldn’t sustain him for a lifetime.

Yet he was a very real and complex human person that did some extraordinary things and had extraordinary gifts and talents. He was good and bad and everything in between and honestly I find him endlessly fascinating and beautiful and tragic. And good god, he was so incredibly gorgeous in such an otherworldly way. Ugh. He literally changed society with his beauty and music. That’s crazy in itself!

I am not a super spiritual person, and fairly skeptical, and yet I too find myself wondering and exploring and experiencing things I never would’ve CONSIDERED before because of him. It’s strange and eerie and blows my mind on the regular, tbh. Somehow, he came around in my life again at EXACTLY the right time and my world is very different/better than it was 6 months ago partially due to his presence.

I, too, have moments of feeling completely insane at how invested I am emotionally in this man I will never meet and how utterly, impossibly strange it feels to hold such love for a person who has been gone longer than I’ve been alive. I am lucky that my partner puts up with me and it and is understanding enough to be like, “this is weird but okay.”

He’s addictive in every possible way. I don’t know how else to describe it. I guess I’ve channeled all these intense and crazy feelings into Pink Scarf and somehow that makes me feel better because I’m creating something from this madness. It inspires me and makes me reach for my own dreams. And I’ve met this incredible community on top of it all.

So, Nonnie, you are very much NOT alone. I can’t say that it’s not crazy because it is a bit but in the best way possible and we’re right there with you!!💗💗💗

But also, take breaks. Don’t break up with your boyfriend (unless it’s truly not working for you in other ways). See and talk to people irl who have nothing to do with E. Read books or watch media unrelated to him. These are things I actively have to do make myself do to stay sane. It’s okay cuz E will always be around when you come back, and so will we!!

I hope this helps. Lovin’ you, Nonnie! 💗💗

#xoxoxoxoxoxoxox #give Nonnie some love y’all! #well this got deep real quick #and so long I’m sorry! #elvis #elvis presley #if you’re looking for trouble #you came to the right place #elvis 2022 #elvis movie #elvis presley x reader #austin butler elvis #elvis x reader #answered #ask

[novaxanomaly]

Birth of Eboni

A/N: this little thing is a piece that is concerning my own characters and an RP partners characters. please do not steal or claim as your own.

Tagging: @co11ywobbles, @deadshot6969, @salty-space-gremlin

Wordcount: 2043 words

TW: blood, death, birth, fear.

Muses used: Kage, Tsuki, Akina, Kuragami, Kagemi, Donovan.

To say that he was surprised when Akina came to him and told him she was pregnant, would be an understatement. He personally never thought that he would ever have children again, being extra careful not to let it happen. After all, that last time he had a family, it ended in tragedy.

But now, Akina is huge and round in the belly, the whole pregnancy Kage would demand she let him or Tsuki do whatever work that was needing to be done. He even, willingly, went on missions instead of Akina, to prevent any injury to the elf and their unborn baby. When there were no missions, no threats, no negative things, Kage would take advantage and cuddle up to Akina and talk to the baby growing in her womb. He would tell the unborn baby stories and sing.

Today, though, he was out with his siblings, making Tsuki promise to keep Akina at least safe in the cottage.

“Oh, Kage look at this one, it's so you!” Kagemi squealed, holding up a tiny black colored baby outfit with the words 'Daddy's Little Shadow' printed across the front of the onesie and the matching pants had hearts. “I mean, have you figured out what the gender is?”

“Yeah, Akina wouldn't let me go to the appointment for that ultrasound... so you would have to ask her.” Kage sighed, he was not excited about buying clothes for the baby, it didn't feel like a thing he should be doing, but Akina had scolded him and kicked him out of the house because of how much time he had been spending with her and their unborn baby. “I like that one, put it in the carriage. But we should probably get something for a boy too, just in case.”

Kuragami chuckled. 'You know, Brother, I don't see why you are so upset about hanging out with us. Before Akina got pregnant, we would hang out weekly.” He said, wondering what was bothering their oldest triplet sibling. Kuragami was never told about the Tragedy with his last family. Only Kagemi knows, and refuses to tell anyone because it isn't her story to tell.

“I... I am just a … worried dad, OK?” Kage said finally. “can we leave it at that?”

“You do know that there is such thing as too much worry, right?” Kura asked, a small smile on his lips to let Kage know that he was not trying to start a problem. “You need to understand that we are around to help also, I mean, Brother, I have kids too, so I get it. I worry too, I told you what happened to Jett.”

“Yeah... well, at least your kids are alive, brother.” Kage countered in a soft voice, low so only his siblings could hear with the heightened hearing they all had. Kura frowned in response to the comment and glanced to Kagemi, who simply closed her eyes and nodded.

“Why have you never told me this?” Kura asked.

“Not really something I want to willingly remember... but if it wasn't for Kagemi, I would have killed myself.” he sighed, “Kura, I had a wife and a son, my daughter hadn't been born yet. I came home from the group hunt the tribe does, and found my wife and son dead and bloody on my bed, my wife's pregnant belly still moving.” Kage told Kura the story, still speaking in the low tone, he looked into his younger sibling's matching ethereal blue eyes and continued. “Our unborn child was suffocating in the womb because my wife had died, so I tried to save it. I cut her belly open, carefully and pulled my daughter out and held her in my arms as I tried to clean her off. I watched the light fade from her beautiful blue eyes, brother. She took her last breath in my arms. I just don't want that happening to Akina, and this baby...not if I can actually prevent it.”

Kuragami nodded, another small warm smile forming on his lips, “I can understand your fear, brother, I almost lost Oisin... a while ago, but it was such a close call. So I at least understand a tiny bit what you mean.”

Kage was grateful that Kura understood his worry, and they continued to do the shopping. “I better be able to meet my new niece or nephew when they are born!” Kagemi chimed happily as Kage's phone began to ring.

It was Tsuki's ringtone, which made the shadow demon furrow his brows, as he answered the call.

“Tsuki, everything alright?”he asked.

“Oh, Kage, baby!” he heard the vampire fuss, and he furrowed his brows more, till he heard Akina in the background cry out in pain.

In the middle of the store, all three shadow demons winced and shadow blades appeared in their hands.

“Akina?” Kage questioned, not wanting to over react, after the conversation he had just had with his brother, his teeth were clenched and knuckles were white.

“Kage, um, I think the baby is coming... what should I do?!” Tsuki sounded like he was in distress, “Kage, babe, I … there is a lot of blood... I am scared...”

that was when Kage realized that his vampire lover was scared that he might feed on Akina. Because of the smell of all the blood. Kage swore under his breath and closed his eyes to think.

“Tsuki, calm down, its natural for the blood, but remember? I keep a stash of mine for you in that mini fridge in the bedroom. Grab a bag and sip from it. Call an ambulance and I will meet you at the hospital. OK?”

“Oh! Right! I am sorry, Kage, I forgot. I will do that now. See you soon.” and the vampire hung up on him.

Kage looked between his siblings and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

Kuragami was the first to say something, just as Kage started to get consumed by shadows. The shadows dissipated and he tilted his head at Kura. “Kagemi, would you mind finishing the shopping, and I will drive Kage to the hospital? It would be a bit strange for him to shadow walk there when she isn't there just yet.” Kura watched Kage rub his face.

“No worries, I will wait till one of you call me and I will visit then. Don't be surprised if I buy a bit extra, cuz now I know diapers are a most.” Kagemi giggled and winked at her brothers. “Now go, I will see you both soon.”

Kura and Kage Shadow walked to the car, to cut time down, but then they drive from the store, to the hospital, and met with Tsuki.

“Kage!” he cried out when he saw Kage walk in. “They took her to a room and she made me wait for you.”

Kage nodded and was rushed by the vampire trying to find comfort, and Kage granted it, wrapping his arms around the shorter one and pulling him onto his lap sideways as he sat in a waiting room chair. “It will be alright, OK? It will.”

“Excuse me, Which one of you is Miss Akina's husband?” A doctor came over.

“I... that would be me, though we haven't gotten married yet.” Kage rose his hand and stood, moving Tsuki to the seat next to him. “Is everything alright? Is the baby born yet?”

“No, she is still in active labor, and insisted that we get a mister Kage?”

“Yeah that is me, we both are her lovers, we are in a poly relationship.” Kage felt the need to also include Tsuki, “But he gets queasy with blood.” Kage said, shrugging at Tsuki, trying to save him from any issues that might arise.

“Well, come with me, and the others have to stay out here.” the doctor motioned for Kage to follow her and he looked back at Tsuki and Kuragami, worry plastered on his face. He caught his brother nodding calmly, as if to tell him everything will be fine.

Kage followed the Doctor and sighed as they entered the room Akina lay in.

“Baby!” he called out, “I am here.” he rushed to her side and she made grabby hands at him. Her face was filled with pain and she was sweating, he grabbed her hand and kissed her now white knuckles just as another contraction hit her. She screamed and a few nurses practically ducked from fear.

“Kage, it hurts so bad!” she fusses at him and he couldn't help but chuckle.

“I know baby, but I am here now, you can do this. Help push our child into this world so I can finally meet them.” he calmly commanded her. It was like the words were Akina's final helping hand to be strong enough to deliver their precious creation unto the world.

A few hours later, Kage was handed the black haired baby, wrapped in a blanket after being cleaned. He had been so focused on making sure Akina was alright, that he was caught off guard by the nurse handing the bundle to him.

“Here is your new baby girl, Daddy.” the nurse said with a smile, and Kage took the child and held her close, moving back to his wife.

“Akina, you did it.” he whispered to her, and she looked up at him with drowsiness. “She is just as beautiful as her mother.” he smiled at Akina. “What shall we call her?”

“Eboni.” Akina replied sleepily, and Kage leaned down to show her the child. “perfect mix of us all.” she added with a sleepy grin.

“Rest baby, I will stay up with our Eboni.” Kage said sweetly to Akina, and she nodded, reaching over and gently booping the baby on the nose.

“Good night my darling girl.” she said and soon the elf was fast asleep.

Kage stayed awake the whole night, no one was able to visit because it had gotten to be too late, but Kage didn't mind. He still had a fear: of his little girl dying in his arms. So he chose to stay up all night, letting Akina rest and him watching the infant sleep soundly in his arms.

“Papa will always be here for you by daughter.” he smiled down at the sleeping baby, tears slowly blurring his vision as the first rays of the morning sun shined through the window. It had been a long night, but his baby girl was still breathing and now stirred and fussed for her first taste of food. He grabbed a formula bottle from the side table and shook it up, quickly getting it ready. He let out a small chuckle through his tears, that no one would see later, and moved the nipple of the bottle to her tiny lips. “eat up my darling.” he said and she opened her eyes along with opening her lips.

Eboni looked up at Kage with beautiful crystal blue eyes that briefly turned ethereal to match his, and then back to the pretty crystal blue. Kage smirked down at her, “You are a mischievous one, aren't you?” he whispered, and chuckled. Of course the infant wouldn't answer, she couldn't speak yet, he knew that, but she showed him that she definitely had shadow demon on her blood. “Papa's little survivor.” she leaned down and kissed her forehead, just as there was a knock at the door or the room.

“Good Morning!” Kagemi's voice rang out through the room, and he looked up to find his pregnant sister and her boyfriend walking in with a few shopping bags from the place they went to yesterday.

“She made it through the night, Gemi.” he blinked away his tears quickly, not wanting anyone else to see them.

“We all knew she would, brother, now let me see her!” Kagemi pouted and reached for the bundle in his arms, causing him to let out a small laugh, because Donovan rolled his eyes.

#my works #~nova writes~ #~novafanfiction~ #kage #~fc(kage): nishimura riki~ #~character: kage~ #tw: death #tw: blood #do not steal #mine

[romanceandshenanigans]

15 Questions Tag Game

Thanks to @clairelsonao3

Rules: answer the questions below as yourself and/or your OC. (I'd also add that you make your own post)

As per request, let's answer this as Juliana and Finn.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Juliana: My grandmother, although I never had the chance to meet her.

Finn: This is going to be a much longer answer than necessary. It starts with my da', technically, but there are too many of us Michaels strewn about the family tree. I've been Finn since before I could speak thanks to my mum. Her maiden name is Finnegan.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Juliana: Eight years ago. I'd prefer if you did not ask further questions on the subject.

Finn: There was a down right memorizing performance of Twelfth Night few months back. Thank god I was in the wings instead of the audience. I never would have heard the end of it otherwise.

3. Do you have kids?

Juliana: No.

Finn: Not that any one has told me.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Juliana: Not as a habit, but certainly there have been occasions.

Finn: I've found sarcasm to be the lazy way out of a good verbal sparring. I try to avoid it when I can, but sometimes you need to bypass flare and go for the cutting blow.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Juliana: Their face? I can't say I've put much thought into it. I suppose the eyes come first, then the shape of their nose and general facial features. Isn't that how everybody does it?

Finn: Their clothes. You can often tell a lot about a person by how their dressed. Not just the items themselves, but how well made they are, if there is dirt or mud on the hems, how well it fits and so on. A whole story can be told in just a glance if you know where to look.

6. What's your eye color?

Juliana: Green. They've been likened to a meadow or leaves on more than one occasion.

Finn: Dark brown. I cannot emphasis enough how they are not like honey or gold or any of those poetic flourishes. They really are just dark brown.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Juliana: I can't say I go out of my way to read ghost stories. However, I would take a despairing ghost over a trite happy ending any day.

Finn: Happy endings. Of course, any ending should be suited to the story. I just prefer the stories where a happy ending is the aim.

8. Any special talents?

Juliana: I'm a stronger rider. I have a good sense of balance. Honestly most talents I can reasonably allow myself relate to physical activity. I wish I could boast a more feminine skill, but I've often found myself lacking compared to my peers.

Finn: The only thing I've been good at is writing, and even then I can barely scrape by a living. I'm a good reader? Maybe a good dancer, but I think that comes down to enthusiasm rather than skill. Does talking count as a special talent?

9. Where were you born?

A/N: I'm leaving this blank since I need to do more research. Glad I got this reminder though.

10. What are your hobbies?

Juliana: I do enjoy playing the piano forte, but only for my own amusement. I'm not nearly skilled enough to play for an audience. The same could be said for singing. Aside from those I enjoy a good walk and to ride when I can.

Finn: Is it bad that writing is the only thing that comes to mind? I suppose people watching. I do enjoy chatting with people at the pub when I get the chance. Acting when I can. Reading certainly. God I sound like the dullest man in England when I say all those things out loud. Where's the sin? I need to get into cards, horses, something. My ancestors would be ashamed of me.

11. Do you have any pets?

Juliana: None besides my own horse Phillipa.

Finn: Can't afford it. We used to have a dog when I was a boy, but it was more the neighborhood dog. I wouldn't mind having one of my own, but I doubt my landlord would stand for it.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Juliana: I played more in my youth than now, but certainly cricket, foot races, horse races, croquet and plenty more that children come up with. I do wish I had more occasion to play.

Finn: None, but I was active enough as a boy. I did my fair share of tree climbing and racing and so on, although always a few paces behind everyone else. Now the only occasion I have to run is if I'm late for something and that's generally frowned upon.

13. How tall are you?

Juliana: 1.70 meters (5'7'')

Finn: 1.80 meters (5'11'')

14. Favorite subject in school?

Juliana: History, although the dates of battles held very little interest to me. I preferred learning about who people were in the past. Maths come a close second.

Finn: English, obviously. Anything involving reading in general, so add on history and what little philosophy I could get my hands on to the pile.

15. Dream job?

Juliana: I'm not exactly sure. There aren't many professions available to women, at least none that appeal. If I were a man, however, I think I would make a decent attorney or something of that nature. I just know I'd want to be useful.

Finn: What I do now, honestly. I've never been ambitious. So long as I can keep writing and afford the roof over my head, I'm happy.

Tagging: @auroramagpie, @handahbear, @flapjacques, @can-of-pringles and anyone else who wants to join in.

#regency romance #juliana hamilton #michael finnegan smith #writeblr #character breakdown #original characters #original character #writers on tumblr #wip: untitled regency romance

[hours2hours]

THE HAWKINS PARADOX: Part One

Joel.

This time, I’ll get the better of my enemy, but the victory tastes bitter. The ache in my teeth serving as a reminder of why I’m here, why I have to do this, and why Aaron Russo will be lucky to leave alive.

I stand against an oak tree, my frail figure easily disguised by the trunk. Two feet from myself is my best friend, Annie. But she isn’t as alert as I, as a matter of fact it seems she wants to sleep above all else. She yawns, and I press my finger against my lips to remind her ‘stay quiet’.

Slowly, Aaron takes step after step directly into my trap, and if I hasn’t been here on such an important task, a smile would cross my lips. 

“Helloo?” He calls. “I’m looking for a deal? From someone named Anon.”

Annie tries not to laugh. It’s anyone's guess how this kid became so gullible, but Annie and I knew he’d never pass up a chance for discount drugs. So, we slid a little flier into his locker, mainly as a joke. But it would prove to come in handy as soon as he fucked me over. Now he’ll think twice before walking into an obvious trap. 

A few steps closer, Annie leans on her bat like a walking stick, ready to fall over from exhaustion, yawning without a care. I glance over the wood, Aaron raises a suspicious eyebrow at the sound. Fuck me.

“Now Annie!”

Without another second to lose, Annie pops out of the tree and strikes him in the temple. “Did you-” I start.

“-Knock the fucker out cold?” Annie interrupts. “That I did. And you were so worried for nothing.”

“Nothin’? It ain’t nothin’ to be careful.” I take the zip ties from my backpack and get to work. “Unless you’re lookin’ to run from the cops again. Who knows? Maybe it’d be a good pick-me-up.”

“Har har,” Annie mocks, tying Aaron’s hands together.

Even with our combined strength lifting Aaron Russo is no easy task. About a foot taller than me and easily twice my weight, it’s safe to say he’s all brute and no brains.

“So I was thinking,” Annie starts, still struggling to drag Aaron into the abandoned supermarket. “What if Miles started joining us?”

“Miles? Are you kiddin’?”

“What? Don’t think he can handle it?”

Miles easily clears Annie and I in height ion about the same way as Aaron. He’s huge, and I think he works out, but strength alone won’t get you through this kind of after-school activity. “Physically, he could handle it.”

“...But not emotionally.”

“It’s hard enough to get him outta that house, you want to bring him intio the town at night to commit crimes? Never gonna happen.”

“Maybe you need to reevaluate how tough your buddy is,” Annie flips her smartphone to face me, showing a text from Miles to her: “For sure! Be right there.”

“Annie!”

“What?! If Miles is gonna be a part of our group now he at least deserves an invitation.”

“That’s not the point,” I pull out another zip tie to bind Aaron’s hands to a metal pole along the floor. “We need to talk things through before making a decision. I don't want Miles involved right now.”

A gentle knock raps three times against the boards blocking off the front door. “Guess who’s heeere,” Annie sings.

“Go tell him to leave,” I reply.

“He already came all this way. If you think about it, it's more dangerous to tell him to go at this point.”

“Just-” I start, frustrated with this whole conversation. “Drop it.”

“You got it,” she turns to face the knock. “Miles! Get your butt in here.”

Timidley, Miles ducks under the boards blocking the door and enters the ruined supermarket. “Hey Joel, hi Annie. What's so important? I sorta left Mateo hanging with this project we’re working on.”

“Annie, a word?”

The two of us huddle together where I shout-whisper, “You didn't even tell ‘em what were doing out here?!”

“I was worried he wouldn't come if I told him,” she whispers back.

“Annie! This is not how you keep friends. This is a nightmare.”

“Uh, guys?” Miles says, pointing one shaky finger forward. “Is that… is he…” his eyes glaze over like he might faint.

“He’s alive!” I blurt. “Unconscious, but alive.”

“You wanna take a swing?” Annie asks with a proud smirk.

“N-no thanks.” He takes a few steps forward. “Is that Aaron?”

“Yep,” she replies.

“Otto’s brother Aaron…”

“You betcha.”

“When he finds out he’s going to hate us,” Miles notes. “Right?”

“Number one rule of kidnapping, don't do a thing without an upper hand. He won't say a peep.”

Aaron stirs, eyes beginning to flutter open. Once he’s conscious, I make sure that my face is right up to his. Bleach-white hair hangs over the shaved side of his head, slick with humidity. I study his face as my leg swings back, delivering a forceful yet restrained blow to his stomach. “Good mornin’ asshole.”

“Good morning to you too,” Aaron wheezes. Despite losing the wind from his lungs, he smiles. He knows well how deeply that smile infuriates me. Over the years Aaron and I have had our fair share of fights, and no matter how badly I hurt him he still won't wipe that sick smile off his face. He may as well be saying, “You can't hurt me, you're just wasting your time.” But today Aaron has finally gone too far.

“I'm not here for the usual cat-fight. You're gonna tell me who killed my dog, I want every detail.” It began the previous night. I was out walking my dog, Toby, late at night. I don't often spend my nights at home, I'd rather be out in the streets playing fetch, digging up old treasure (garbage), barking at the local birds. And as we passed the forest at the outer reaches of Matlock beach, it happened. An ice-cold breeze blew over me, a dark figure approached and just as quickly covered my face with their hand. I thought the hand was burning, but I realized after that it was so cold I couldn't tell the difference. The hand shoved me into the bushes, and when I came to, Toby was gone. I searched all night, all day, but found no sign of him.

Then, a knock at my door. A box appeared with my name on it, and my worst fear came true. The only friend I could rely on for my whole life, lay dead in that box. I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore, it had been the worst day of my life, but it didn't end there.

The next day was when shit really hit the fan. I went to school as normal, but kids I know, and kids I didn't know, would whisper when they thought I couldn't hear. It was only a matter of time before I discovered the video: Emo kid loses it over mail prank, hilarious!

The video never showed what was inside the box, only my horrified reaction. Someone hid in the bushes around my front door, filming me. With Annie’s help we traced the account back to a few old aliases before stumbling on the name Aaron Russo. That brings us to today.

“I'm sorry? Someone killed something? I never heard-” I cut him off with a fist to the nose.

“Don't play dumb with me you little fuck stain. Tell me right now!”

Annie leans on her bat, “if I have to use this thing motherfucker you're gonna regret it.”

Aaron laughs, “it'll take more than that to scare me.”

“Is this why we were invested in Aaron’s old SoundCloud account this morning?” Miles asks. Aaron’s eyes grow wide. 

“Yup,” I reply, pacing circles around Aaron. “And if you don't want your cringeworthy dog shit heard ‘round town, then you're gonna talk.”

Aaron only laughs harder. “Okay? Show them! My singing is a giiiift.”

“Well, If you don't wanna talk, that's fine, no worries.” Pacing away from Aaron, I look into Annie's tired eyes. “Break his kneecaps.”

A delighted fury replaces the tiredness, Annie readies her bat. “Wait wait WAIT.”

Annie pauses, giving Aaron only a moment to spill what he knows, before swinging her bat into his knee as hard as she can. Aaron screams, Miles stands back. I decide to pull him off to the side, all while Aaron's screams echo throughout the room.

“Hey man, you okay?” I begin.

“Yeah, don't sweat it,” his fingers stret h for something to fidjit, and tugs at the hem of his shirt.

“You don't look very relaxed. If you wanna leave it's fine man.”

“No! I can do this.”

“Fuck fine, just stop!” Aaron shouts. Miles and I turn back ready to listen. “I didn't know it was a dead animal, okay?” Aaron continues. “Your reaction was priceless, but that's way too far, I admit.”

“So who's the sonova bitch who did it? What are you not telling me?” I nudge Annie in the shoulder, she resumes her batting stance.

“I don't know I swear to god! Alls I got was a note in my locker. Said I could humiliate you and all I had to do was film you opening some box at some time.”

“Sounds like a pile of bullshit if you ask me,” Annie notes. I'd be lying if I said I didn't agree, but better to hear him out first. 

“It's the truth, I can prove it.” Aaron wiggles his fingers in reach of his pants pocket.

“Do you uh, need a hand?” Miles asks. 

“You’re such a bad criminal,” Annie snorts. Regardless, Miles pulls a small slip of lined paper from Aaron's black skinny jeans. The note reads, 

Be at the home of Joel Hawkins, 6pm in the hour, film his reaction and do what you want with the footage. A satisfactory reward will be waiting at the point marked in the map below. The hours will mark it.

When I’m finished reading aloud, the three of us stand in a circled around the note. A small silence hangs while we take it in, until Miles says, “This person was very deliberate in keeping their identity hidden.”

“Yeah,” Annie continues. “That's some psycho shit. Who do you think it is?”

“Need a list? That'll take a while,” I reply. I side eye Aaron. As vicious as our feud has grown, Aaron never had a stomach for killing. “Oh! I can help with that, Lua hates your guts pretty good, Wendy Anson probably has a photo of you taped to a dart board, theres-” THWACK. I cut him off with a fist to the face. Ready for more, Annie holds me back, “Cool it, Joel. We got what we needed.”

“This asshole deserves it and worse!” 

Blood drips from Aaron's nose into his toothy smile. “Damn right. C’mon, let him finish the job. That's what you want, right?”

“Wanna find out asshole?” I lurch forward, but Miles hand stops me. Not forcefully like Annie’s, but gentle. 

“It’s not worth it, trust me.”

Every inch of me shakes, aching for him to feel the hurt he caused me. Which is the exact reason I didn't want Miles here in the first place. I don't like me when I'm this angry, so what will my new friend think? The only friend I've made since I met Annie, no less.

“You'll get what's comin’ eventually,” I say.

“Yawn,” Aaron replies. “Can I go now? Now that my ketamine deal was a bust I need to go home and find something to get high on.”

Annie chimes in, “Not till we get the money your buddy left you.”

“spent it all on cigarettes and ketamine.”

“Then we'll settle for the smokes. Miles?”

Miles raises an eyebrow before asking flatly, “Why am I the one who has to reach into his pants?”

“Because I want you to feel included?”

“That's sweet of you,” Miles nabs the pack of smokes and hands them to Annie. “Next time I want a different job though.” She hands one to Miles before lighting one between her lips.

“Great,” Aaron says. “You got your info and my last pack of smokes, happy?”

“You're not leavin’ till you delete that video. I wanna see it, and your trash bin.”

“There goes my fuckin’ ad revenue,” he mumbles, but complies nonetheless.

“And for the record,” Annie unties his hands from the floor. “Anon is short for anonymous. It isn't a name, dickhead.”

“Do you mind? My night is already ruined, the least you could do it let me snort ket in peace.”

Annie, Miles and I exit the abandoned supermarket, on the way Annie points backward and shouts, “Don't make us kidnap you again!”

Through the thick bush we enter my vehicle, a dumpster of a truck I managed to scrounge the cash for. Annie hops in the passenger seat while Miles takes the back. “When I asked ya to break his kneecaps, I meant it.” 

“Relax, we got more than we could have hoped for. Look at that big fat lead in your hands!”

It's true, I suppose we should take some credit where it counts. But it doesn't quell the fire alight in my stomach. I don't just want answers, I want him to hurt.

The engine sputters and screams as it turns over, as headlights flicker to life. Old gravel roads lead us back into the peacefully sleeping town of Matlock Beach. A strange town with strange histories, and strange people. But it's more or less a home. If I had the choice of course I'd ditch in a heartbeat, but until that day comes we’re left to create our memories here. Like it or not. From an objective lens, the Beach is a perfectly quiet little speck along the coast of Matlock Lake. The very fact that it’s name is borrowed from another is evident of it’s nature. A tourist town, a place your grandma and grandpa live in the warm Summer months, but the rest of us are stuck here year round. When the snow comes, we can rarely leave without fear of dreadful road conditions, transforming our beach-filled Summer utopia into an icy prison. Even so, I’ll admit this place can be beautiful in the Summertime, at least during the day. The trees canopy each street, blotting out the fault moonlight visible betweden clouds. Wonderful shade in the daytime, but paired with flickering headlights at night, creepy. “Where’re we goin’ anyway?” I ask.

Miles stretches to meet Annie in the front, studying the crude map. “I think that’s right around where Wendy Anson works.”

“Wendy’s out of juvie? Thought Aaron was talkin’ nonsense.”

“Got out last week.”

“And got a job already?”

“The old diner was hiring, you know how desperate they are.”

“Why?” Miles asks.

“Same reason that old convenience store shut down,” I reply, turning down main street. “Too far from downtown, without tourists buyin’ they can’t bring in enough profit year-round. In this case, they’ve been scraping by. Hey Annie, where are we supposed to find this spot?”

“Looks close to the train tunnel. We’ll find it with… hours, I guess.”

“Hours…” I trail off. But before I can give it much thought, we’re already here. The good thing about living in a place like this, nothing is farther than two kilometers. 

“So, someone hates Joel, makes sense,” Miles starts, while I try not to look hurt. “But why go this far? Why be so… cryptic.”

“I’ve done some stuff I’m not proud of, I admit. But I never thought I’d do somethin’ to deserve this.”

“What about Jules?” Annie asks.

“He doesn’t got the nuts.”

Miles peeks his head from the back seat, “What did you do, anyway?”

“Let’s save the stories for another time,” I reply. Miles doesn’t need to know about my past, I can only hope he forgets about it.

The streets on the outskirts of town grow darker with each passing street, as the town cares less and less about replacing bulbs. Miles still sits perched over the seats in between me and Annie, obviously unsatisfied with my answer. “I didn’t do anything…” I admit. “...to Lua. She’s like Aaron, pretty much hates my guts for existing.” And it wouldn't make her the only one, there are plenty of people I’ve had beef with because they didn’t agree with my existence. That's life when you live in a town like this. It begins with a church, an understandable thing to build. People will have their beliefs whether I like them or not. But then years pass, the isolated town stays more or less the same, all while the people grow more and more cultish, until they don’t even remember what their original beliefs were. Instead of being all about love and crap, their believes grow into hate like a disease. It’s no wonder Annie has always dreamt of seeing the world, but as for me, I’d be fine with a city. Cities aren’t so closed off, there’s opportunity there, an escape from the small-town mindset that I’ve grown to despise. But until I can afford to leave, I have no choice but to deal with these problems. 

I exit the vehicle and slam the door shut, heart racing with anger that slowly recedes back into my stomach.

Annie exits the car, popping a few caffeine pills on the way. “Joel keyed Jules’s car with me three times because he’s a little bitch, and he got Wendy arrested, both were hilarious.”

“If by ‘little bitch’ you mean horrible fuckin’ racist then yeah.”

Miles laughs, “well… sounds like the little bitch deserved it. What about this Wendy?”

“She’s crazy and I ratted her out to the cops.”

“Fair ‘nuff,” Miles replies. 

The three of us enter an open field next to a rocky cliffside, barely lit by the near-full moon. The train tunnel runs through the cliffs, and should lead us to the right place. Not far from that is the old diner, which could pass as abandoned with its lights off. But it isn’t what we came for, Annie hands Miles and I large flashlights from her backpack. I flick mine on and scan the inside of the tunnel. It’s barely wide enough for the train to pass through, so we’ll have to be quick.

Creeeeeeeak. My head spins, an eyebrow raised.

“Did you hear something?” Annie asks.

I guide us through the dark tunnel, still aware of that drawn out creaking sound. Something about it sends gives me goosebumps, but what? It sounds almost like any ordinary squeaky tree, you'd hear a million of them if you listen hard enough. “Just the wind. C’mon.” 

Footsteps echo off the long walls as we make our way through. Graffiti  marks every wall top to bottom, but it’s a fair distance before we find our spot. In unnervingly neat writing, Hours To Hours is etched into the wall above a mound of dirt. I find myself staring at the words, even when Annie and Miles are satisfied. Just as I have since I was a child.

It’s an anomaly I’ve grown used to, and one I’ve given up trying to explain to anyone else. When I was just a kid I asked my mom why those three words were etched into my bedframe, but she assumed I did it and scolded me. When I go to the beach in town I manage to find the words somewhere in the sand every single time. Every abandoned spot I’ve explored in or around town has had the words painted on a wall or two, every room in my home has them written in someplace, and I even find brand new ones from time to time. Under the kitchen sink, inked into books, scratched into impossible-to-reach areas like the ceiling above a stairwell or fifteen feet up a telephone pole. But it got so much weirder only a few years ago when my grandfather was in the later stages of his dementia. Only a few days before he died he called me to his room, which was odd enough. Only an hour ago he told me he had no idea who I was. He called me in just to whisper those three words, and I never saw him again after. Though my memories grow foggy, I can recall so many awful moments in my life where I would be shortly reminded of those three words. When I failed ninth grade it was on my report card, when my dog was killed, it appeared just above the reward for the sick person who used it against me.

“Joel? You okay?” Miles eventually asks. I have no idea how long I was staring. 

I dig through the Earth but turn up with nothing. 

Miles kneels next to me and paws at the dirt. “What are we looking for?”

“I don’t know,” I answer. “But there’s nothing.”

“That’s cause you’re looking in the wrong place,” Annie says with a proud smirk, before heading out of the tunnel. Lookling at Miles, he shrugs and we follow her.  

Annie leads us back through the field and points to something across the road. A metal mesh fence surrounds the back end of the building. We walk closer when Annie points to something along its back wall, a tiny red glowing dot. “A camera,” she says. “Looks like it could’ve caught whoever went into the tunnel.”

“Nice catch Annie,” I reply. 

We lose line of sight with the camera and inch closer. Seems they opted for a single door handle lock, should make for an easy bust.

Annie bumps my fist and we walk around to the other side of the building. “Are they still open?”

“Lights are all off,” I say.

“Alright, tomorrow after school we’ll go in and ask to see the footage.”

“What if they don’t let us?” Miles asks.

Annie grins, “Then we’ll do it the fun way.”

#writing #creative writing #gay #lgbt #trans #mystery #thriller #romance

[kamorth]

Just as an intro, yes this post reads VERY white. Unfortunately a lot of recent history is only accessible through white lenses and as I myself am about as white as it is possible to be, I don't have another viewpoint that I can write from with any kind of authority. My lack of experience does not negate anyone else's experiences or views.

In the 80s, being punk was how you showed disdain for conformity. NO, I DON'T Want to be Like You THE WOLRD IS SHITTY AND I AM ANGRY. They were the trash that you warned your kids to stay away from because they were dangerous and violent.

Grunge quickly followed suit with Yeah the world is shitty why do what the boring conformist bougies tell you when you can just do your own thing over here instead. They were the trash you hoped your kids got sick of but the worst parents ever suspected of them was maybe a bit of weed and some clumsy make outs, not that big a deal.

In the late 90s (my teens) it was goths. We are so sick of you and your church and shoving it down my throat with pushing for prayer in schools and Christian Pop Rock all over the billboard top 40. That kid is a witch now and You JUST Don't Get It. Depression is my baseline and the idea of being like you is the cause. We were the trash that were just indulging in a phase and would grow out of it, so we could be humored but mostly ignored (unless your parents were hard core Bible bashers, in which case you would get sent to something akin to conversion therapy - since you were also probably Queer it often was just outright conversion therapy).

Then the emos showed up and people started getting annoyed, partly because suddenly there were goths that you COULDN'T ignore for two reasons, they were LOUD about being sad and THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM. Since they couldn't be ignored out of existence, the Western world decided to collectively bully them instead. They were the trash that was Just So Damn Cringe!

And now poverty is skyrocketing. Homelessness is a plague that has struck so many people who have committed no crime outside of bad luck. Actual fascists are in positions of power. Planned obsolescence and decades of lobbying by the oil industry in favour of petrol and plastics is destroying everything beautiful about this planet.

And Punk is back. Be ANGRY at your politicians who don't listen. Let your anger be heard so that they know you will not accept these ideas. Grunge is back. It doesn't have to be new, it just has to be functional. Work together to make a community you WANT to live in. Goth is back. Mourn for the world we were promised but never saw. Learn about belief systems that are different to the one you were raised in, ESPECIALLY if doing so pisses off your parents. Emo is back. Fuck haters. Cringe is dead. Being comfortable in your own skin means being allowed to do what YOU want, not having to exist for the benefit of someone else.

Before us it was hippies and beatniks and flappers and dadaists and before them there were the coffee shop philosophers and the point is there have ALWAYS been people who want the world to see its own flaws and fix them. I know other cultures had the same sorts of groups, like the Japanese Subekan gangs (who created the original lolita fashion trend as a way to take femininity back from being sexualized) and Islamic Sufism (an Islamic sect who practice things forbidden by stricter groups, such as singing and dancing) but I'm an armchair scholar, not an expert.

When society is broken, our numbers surge.

We are surging.

Society needs us.

#do good recklessly #Because society fucking HATES it #It's all good talking about how the world needs to be fixed #But to change things #You need to do things differently #And people despise change #And counterculture shows them a mirror that tells them they need to change anyway #When you dye and style your hair ''unprofessionally'' #When you mend torn clothes with safety pins and patches instead of buying new ones #When you don't wear the make up and clothes from this season's displays during the season they're being displayed #And that's enough to make some bigot scoff at you and treat you as less human than them #You are shoving that mirror in their face #You are asking them what the fuck they think freedom means Earl #And if you can do that safely you should #And if you are as white and straight passing and cis passing as I can be #You are probably WAY more likely to be able to do that safely #So you should #Because there are SO MANY people who can't #ESPECIALLY NOW #YOU ARE NOT CRINGE FOR NOT CONFORMING #Conformity is a tool of those in power #Fight the system by not following stupid rules #And most of them are stupid

[cherrybomb-ed]

Are you Extroverted or Introverted?

Are you sure?

Reading my book on anxiety and one part of it is all about understanding who you are and knowing that you (as in personality) and your mental illness are not the same thing.

In particular, I has a subtopic titled "introverted, extroverted - or am I shy?"

This section actually taught me that introversion and extroversion isnt a popular with others and unpopular with others situation or "outgoing or shy". It taught me that introversion and extroversion are traits you are born with and that it has more to do with where you find energy. Extroverted people get energy from social situations because they need more dopamine and adrenaline to stay in high energy however introverted people need less dopamine and adrenaline to be in high energy and instead need more of a chemical called acetylcholine which makes us feel calm and aware and aids our ability to think deeply.

Because they need more of this chemical to maintain high energy, they often choose to spend more time alone to the exception of their inner social circle as the dopamine and adrenaline that they get from more social situations can actually overwhelm their brains, this leaving them feel 'drained' the same way an extrovert would feel drained if they didn't get enough dopamine/adrenaline.

Why I spend alot of time alone, I don't do so by choice. I suffer from severe social anxiety (fear of social situations due to the fear of social rejection) and simply cope with my fear via avoidance. However I spend most of my time alone daydreaming about spending time with other people.

So I was speaking to my mother about this, and remember how I said your introversion/extroversion was something you were born with? Well before I went through a certain trauma in my childhood, as a child I was actually very extroverted.

My parents worked in the pub trade and I absolutely loved to come down to the pub everyday and spend time with all of my parents customers. I would sing for them, dance with them, play with them, sit and talk with them. I did it so much that when I came down, whoever saw me first would shout "beep beep alert" to tell everyone to watch their language and conversation because I was present.

In my old primary school, I was friends with everyone. When I left I actually had two leaving parties, one in school and one at a play house and each one had about 30 kids attend. My teacher even told my mother that "I'm slightly worried, the class will be at a loss with out your daughter. She was very much their leader in a way. She did and the others just followed".

Unfortunately, after leaving I went through a traumatic time in my new town and I did a full 180. I was shy. But not shy because I liked to be alone, shy because I had found my self alienated by not only my new classmates but also their parents as well. I started thinking people just weren't going to like me around there and so I was too frightened to speak to anyone (no matter how much I wanted to) out of fear of being socially rejected once again.

I always identified myself as introverted. But now that I know more about introversion and extroversion and my mental illness, I think it is fair for me to say that I am not an introvert, but rather an extrovert who suffers from severe social anxiety.

So I ask you again.

Are you and extroverted or an introvert?

#mbti humor #enfp mbti #mbti infp #mbti #psychology #mental health #mental heath awareness #extrovert #introvert #extroversion #introversion #personality test #mbti types #intp #entp

[margaret-the-sylvia]

Still nervous to post more HCs of Barnaby Brooks Jr, but here we go:

Barnaby has ophidiophobia, which is fear of snakes. He’s had it since he was younger, but worsened with Ouroboros.

He draws in his free time, and is actually pretty good. He mostly draws plants and landscapes.

Similar to rabbits, he’ll tap his foot if he is agitated or anxious. He will stomp if he’s really angry.

Some pet names will make him weak, and by weak, I mean, blushing so hard he looks like a tomato. Especially when he's called "baby bunny"

I hc him being on the Autism spectrum (I have ASD myself). He has moments where everything's overwhelming and he needs a quiet place to relax.

Barnaby's hearing is very sensitive. (possibly due to ASD) Loud noises startle him, and due to this, he hates thunderstorms.

He does have some form of PTSD from his time with Maverick and the deaths of his parents.

Barnaby does have shutdowns and meltdowns. Meltdowns for him are more rare than shutdowns. If he is really overwhelmed, most often than not, he’ll shutdown. He doesn’t really want to draw attention to himself.

Wrapping a soft blanket around him really calms him down after a stressful day. It is sometimes used by his partner to help him sleep, (typically followed with other actions like cuddling.) when Barnaby’s insomnia hits.

Barnaby loves the smell of lavender.

Continuing with more rabbit behaviors, he’ll nuzzle or chin things to claim them as his own. Typically its Kotetsu. If he’s excited, he’ll start running around and jumping off the walls. (It’s what as know as a “binky” for rabbits) Barnaby will also flop on his side when he’s feeling content and just lay there.

Barnaby’s got thick thighs and no one can tell me otherwise. He crushed a watermelon between his thighs in just a few seconds.

Even with his power deactivated, his kicks are deadly.

Barnaby is pretty touch adverse (yet another symptom of ASD) to anyone except for a select few people.

He is gay, and uses he/him pronouns.

Unlike Kotetsu, he doesn’t like swimming. Kotetsu is trying to get him used to the water slowly, one step at a time.

Barnaby is nearsighted, but its almost on the severe side.

He sings while he's in the kitchen, or whenever he thinks he's alone.

Definitely was a momma's boy.

His full name is Barnaby Emile Brooks Jr. (“Emil” is pronounced as e-MEEL btw.)

Barnaby has a strict routine. If his routine is interrupted, he gets upset.

Barnaby actually had a lisp as a young kid. Due to speech therapy for not only his ASD, but also his lisp, his lisp is mostly gone, so you wouldn’t even know he had one in the first place. He does occasionally lisp, which is embarrassing to him, but Kotetsu thinks it’s adorable.

Barnaby does stim, but often masks it. (His stimming is mostly rocking back and forth and hand flapping)

#tiger & bunny #barnaby brooks jr #anime headcanons #not art #tigerbunny #tiger & bunny headcanons #tiger&bunny #tiger and bunny #t&b headcanons #headcanons #long ass post #long post #might add to this later #might add more later #if you don't like it #don't read. #it's simple #enjoy my brainrot #and my rambles #i fucking love him #虎兎 #タイバニ #タイバニ2 #bunny things #bunny #fucking bnuuy #bnuuyposting #bunny post #cringe but free #nobody's probably gonna see this

[anonymousfoz]

Heathers Rant

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Suicide and murder, also mental health talk.

(It's heathers, you knew what you were getting yourself into)

Quick note: I haven't seen 1988 heathers or the musical in a few years but I binge the musical whenever I write or do anything. So a lot of this comes from the Broadway songs only. I am sorry if this upsets anyone, I just can't sit down and watch something long anymore. My attention span sucks. Also it is color coded because why not, but I may not have colors for every character. Also this was written at 3 am, when I think the most.

I heard a lot about the songs, but has anyone thought to find the message in heathers? I mean there are a lot of messages, but I think the one with mental health are very interesting because it is grabs my eye the most.

When I think about the musical from an analytical sense, which I often do with friends who know nothing about heathers, I always find myself bringing up the mental health. It seems to be a very ignored topic in Sherwood, Ohio. Which why does heathers take place in Ohio? Out of all states, Ohio? But besides that, mental health seems to be an ignored topic which considering it most likely takes place in the 80s, makes sense. It only becomes a topic that needs to be addressed after Chandler's death, which Veronica and JD (I don't have a color for JD) frame as a suicide. Bothers me that the police didn't look into it further but it's whatever. It is clear that the students suffer from mental health. JD, Mcnamara, and Martha suffer mental health issues which is clear in their songs. Once it is addressed, Duke believes that Martha's suicide attempt was an attempt to fit in with the popular kids who have died.

Why does this matter? Everyone brings this up. But I not seen a single soul bring up the adults. They are clearly clueless to the issues the teens deal with. In Yo Girl, this is clear with Veronica's parents pleading to understand and help her with these issues only for Veronica to claim they don't understand what she is going through. Which Veronica is correct.

But has anyone thought to think, this is shown through the songs? This might be stretching, and me overthinking this, but I don't care.

So in the opener Beautiful, Veronica stops to make comments about each of the students to the audience, an early fourth wall break which is portrayed s her writing in her diary. It appears to be an aside, which is a remark or passage in a play that is intended to be heard by the audience but unheard by the other characters in the play. However, this is not an aside in the case with Ram who butts into his introduction, it could be Veronica saying her thoughts aloud, which I doubt but I have people tell me that. The point is, he can interrupt the aside. Again in Our Love Is God a character interrupts the song. It isn't an aside but it is another time this happens, Kurt interrupts JD while he sings and before he is shot. It could be taken that Kurt doesn't understand why Ram got shot, and again I may be overthinking it. However I am ranting so I don't care. The point is these two interrupted the songs. Going to the show stopper, Meant to Be Yours, JD is being loud banging on objects and screaming, in a narrative sense. We all joke about Veronica's parents not hearing it, but why? I think it can be taken as a metaphor as JD being the mental health issue and the parent's being clueless to it's presence.

Speaking of JD, he clearly suffers from mental health, maybe as a result of losing his mother so long and his father not being there for him. Also moving 10 times? Could never be me, but that could affect his health. His mental health issues led to him harming others.

If the adults are unaware, the issue got worse until someone got hurt. Which happened to be the Queen Bitch, Chandler.

I have no idea to end this, since I stated what I thought, But let me know what you think. This was really fun and a good way to spend time that I should be using for sleeping.

Post 3 am time: I never really been heavily into the community until I got tumblr, but it's just been so amazing and I wasn't aware there were a lot of ships. But to be fair, I am pretty sure all of them could had happened and am not supportive of just one ship. Besides the point, I am happy to be with other people or on a platform where I can express my love for this musical which hits more so now as a 17 year old who is about be in senior in high school and is turning 18 in less than 100 days. It just brings me a joy I can't describe in words. I love you guys. Your posts make my day and get me thinking ideas like these.

#heathers #heathers the musical #small rant #rant #veronica sawyer #heather chandler #heather mcnamara #heather duke #jason dean #I'm out of ideas on what to tag #Over thinking my favorite musical