The idea of yandere gojo and geto (both at the same time) plotting against their darling reader using geto's cursed spirits to make her on them gets my mind reeling for nights 👀 wonder if my favorite writer has any thoughts on this
Perfect Prey
Characters: Yadere!Geto Suguru, Yadere!Gojo Satoru,FAB!Reader
Warnings: yandere!Geto/Gojo, manipulation, dub! con read is unaware that the boys are manipulating her! (consent is vital for me!!) double penetration, smut, mentions of wounds, cursing
Word Count: 3,404
A/N: Ah! thank you Nonnie! This made me smile! Oooh, this, this was fun. I loved getting into this! I hope y’all enjoy it!! (I really enjoyed writing for Suguru 🥵)
“I finally got my own mission!” Geto and Gojo glanced up at you as you proudly walked into the first-year's classroom. “Took years, but I think they finally realized I’m fully capable of destroying a curse or two by myself!”
Geto gave you a warm smile, resting his chin on his fist. “Is that so? Funny, I thought we made it clear one of us was supposed to accompany you on any mission.” He shut his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the side.

“Oh, that’s a good one, Suguru!” You excitedly plopped down on Gojo’s desk, kicking your feet back and forth. “All jokes aside, they did want to send one of you with me.”
“Wanted to send one of us?” Satoru questioned, dipping his chin to watch you.
The two men watched you closely as your pretty head nodded. “Yaga said,” you tilted your chin at Satoru, “You were assigned to come with me, Satoru. But seeing as you just returned from your mission, I insisted that I could handle a couple of curses on my own.” Gojo scoffed, his head turning to give Suguru a look of disbelief. “Oh, don't look at him like that!” Sure, the duo were best friends, but their silent communication between stolen glances made you feel left out.
“I don't think me coming back from a mission, which I handled easily because I’m Gojo Satoru, of course. Means I can't come with you. They assigned us this together.” The white-haired man’s time was thick with annoyance. “For a specific reason, I’m assuming.”
You cocked an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two men. “Why would the Gojo Satoru be needed to exorcise a handful of low-grade curses?” Looking at Gojo, you could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. “You know what—why do they even send you both you're Special-grades?” Before you could question them, Geto chuckled, soft and rich.
“Ignore Satoru; he’s just being clingy. Congratulations on your first solo mission.” Pride swelled in your chest at his acknowledgment. You happily kicked your feet faster as Geto reached over, ruffling your hair. “Just promise to be careful, and if you need any help, please know we’re but a phone call away.”
“Thank you.” The condescending tone of your voice has Satoru clenching his jaw. “I’ll get this mission done so fast, you won't even notice I’m gone!”
Geto pulled his hand back, nodding, dark hair swaying as you slid off the seal. “Be safe; we’ll see you at home.”
“I will! See you both later!”
Geto smiled, waving until the door shut, and he could no longer hear your footsteps down the hall. The instant he was confident that you weren't around, his smile fell, eyes narrowed at the door. Gojo was fuming, pulling his blindfold down, letting it pool around his neck. Between the two men, their anger could freeze Hell over.
“This is problematic.” Geto rubbed at the pulsing sensation in his temple.
“Problematic? No, this is a disaster if she gets through this mission, which we know she will! She's going to get more solo missions. Solo missions turn into group missions, with other sorcerers, other men.”
“And we can't have that. No one is good enough to protect her, let alone breathe the same air.”
Gojo sat on the edge of the desk, watching as his best friend tapped his thumb against the center of his forehead. Between the two of them, they would find a way to fix this sticky situation. Their solution had to be clean. They couldn’t have you finding out that they were the ones responsible for your lack of solo missions. The two pulled strings to ensure you were always with them.
Some might call them possessive and obsessive. But they didn't see it like that. They just knew no one on the face of the planet would ever be good enough for you. You were their darling little princess. The keywords are theirs and theirs alone.
“We could tell Yaga to pull her off, tell a white lie like maybe she changed her mind.”
“No, no, that would look suspicious. She went through all the trouble, convincing him to let her go alone. After all that, for us to ask that, she would start asking questions. We can’t have her knowing we’re responsible for her lack of solo missions.”
“Okay, do you have any ideas?” When Geto said nothing, Gojo sighed, exasperated, feeling Geto’s eyes on him. “It would be easier if we showed her how ‘dangerous’ these solo missions can be.”
A lightbulb went off in Geto’s mind. “Satoru~” he purred, “that’s a brilliant idea.” The other man furrowed crisp white brows in confusion. “She thinks it’s just a handful of curses, right?”
“Yeah?”
“It would be a shame if there were more curses than she could handle,” Geto smirked, specks of black forming behind his shoulder, his curses coming to life, revealing his intentions.
Satoru grinned wide with a sharp laugh. “That truly would be a shame, wouldn’t it? Poor sweetheart will have to call us to help.” Geto nodded, motioning for Satoru to follow.
“Come on, we got shit to do.”
Later that night, you were scrambling off the ground, wincing as the fifteen curses chased you around the corner of the abandoned building. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” You screamed, palms bleeding, knees scraped up as you stumbled back to your feet, barely avoiding the sharp teeth of the curse behind you.
This was supposed to be a simple job! One where there would be maybe two or three curses to take out! Three were okay! You were able to handle that on your own. But after you took them out, you suddenly found yourself surrounded by dozens of curses. All of them ranged from different grades, from four to two, but a couple gave off a darker presence, possibly special grades, which was not good.
How the hell did three curses turn into three dozen?! How could the intel be so off?! And how the hell were you going to get out of this?!
A low snarling snapped you out of your frantic thoughts before the curse in front of you swiped at your stomach with very long and very sharp claws. You dodged, falling back onto the ground, watching it close in on you. This was not good, not in the slightest, and it didn’t help that you were all alone!
Scrambling back, you pushed yourself off the ground, ducking into a room, slamming the door. “Goddamn, fuck me.” Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you called the two strongest men of the modern age. Sure, there was a one hundred and fifty percent chance they'd boast about how they were right, how you needed to listen to them, but that didn’t matter right now! “Pick up! Pick up, pick up!”
The phone rang and rang and rang. Just when you thought it would go to voicemail, the line clicked. Gojo yawned on the other line without a care in the world. “Hello~?” He cooed, listening to the raspy breathing.
“Satoru!” You gulped down breaths of air. “Toru, I need help!” You screamed as a curse slammed against the door.
Gojo covered the receiver, snickering as Geto eyed the building you were in. “What was that? You need our help?”
“Yes!” you cried out, “Satoru! Please help!!”
“Are you sure? I mean, I am considered a Special Grade; low-grade curses are something I shouldn’t worry about, right?”
Geto’s curse smashed through the door, dashing at you. He swore he could hear your scream through Satoru’s phone. His poor princess is getting chased around by his curses. This could have been easily avoided if you didn’t insist on taking on this mission alone. Unfortunately for you, the choices you made led to this outcome.
Your heart was hammering against your rib cage as you slipped and maneuvered around the curses slowly surrounding you. This was way out of your league, and you were beginning to regret now bringing one of the boys with you. Plus, Satoru wouldn’t drop everything and come running to your rescue, not after everything you’d said earlier.
“Toru, please.” Pleading was something you rarely did, but Satoru’s ego had been bruised, so you had to do what needed to be done. “Please, I'm begging you.”
Both Gojo and Geto exchanged a look with each other. “You beg so nicely,” Satoru commented, listening to a loud crashing sound followed by your curse. “I suppose I could come, maybe bring Suguru too.”
“Y-Yes! Yes, please!”
“On one condition.”
Despite the fact dozens of curses were chasing you, you stopped dead in your tracks. “Condition?! What fuckin’ condition?!”
“You never take a solo mission again.”
After this endeavor, he didn’t even have to ask you to do that. “Y-Yes! I agree. Just fucking hurry!” In the blink of an eye, the tall white-haired man teleported before you with Geto by his side. The curse that had been charging at you slammed hard against Gojo’s infinity before being forced back as the white-haired man stepped forward.
You fell to your knees, panting heavily as Geto peered down at you from over his shoulder. “Are you alright?” You just nodded your head, glancing down at your bleeding hands. “You don’t look alright.” You could smell the woodsy musk
as Geto knelt in front of you. “Give me.” He gently grabbed your hand, examining the scraps on the heels of your hand.
”Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Gojo chastised as he grabbed you and Geo, teleporting the three of you back to their apartment. “Guess your first solo mission didn’t quite go as well as you planned now, did it?”
There was no retort or sharp comeback because he was right. Even if the intel had been wrong, you couldn't handle this mission on your own. You had failed after you insisted that you could handle this mission without any hiccups. Now, that confidence was replaced with shame and disbelief. You had to call on your colleagues for assistance. After they warned you that this is something you wouldn’t be able to handle.
The two men who had orchestrated this scheme watched you with unreadable expressions—on the outside, their demeanor seemed unnerved, while on the inside, they were swelling with pride and excitement. Seeing you so distraught and broken had their pants tightening at the almost broken, blank look in your eyes.
“Oh, don’t be embarrassed,” Suguru announced, lifting you and ushering you towards the bathroom. “There’s nothing to be ashamed about. You’re not the only sorcerer who isn't capable of handling three dozen cursed spirits on their own. Not everyone is as strong as Satoru and I.”
Suguru moves to the shower, turning it on as you remain still, the events of the evening replaying over in your mind. “Suguru’s right. Not everyone would have handled a situation like that. You should be grateful, though. You’re lucky enough to have us willing to come to your beck and call.” Satoru is moving in front of you, holding your hands over the sink, running hot water over the wounds. “If we hadn’t shown up when we did, you could have died.” The truth of his words had your head jerking up, meeting crystalline eyes.
“I-I could have died.” The monotone repetition of his own words had Satoru’s cock throbbing at the broken throaty words that left your mouth.
“You could have.” He agreed, pressing his lips against your neck. “But you didn’t because we saved you.”
“I-I know.” You whispered as Geto joined your side. “You saved me.”
Hands, hot and rough, ran over the mounds of your breasts, gripping your hips, manhandling you in ways they had done in the past. There had been nights when the three of you had been so bored you just decided to hook up or when they just needed a little stress relief. This time, however, felt monumentally different. Like they were holding their breath, holding themselves back. Their stoic bodies jittered with anticipation, waiting to see what happened next.
To you, it was them being pent up, maybe the adrenaline rushing through their systems. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you felt just as pent up. Almost dying had you wanting to cave into your raw human desires. While the men standing on either side of you shared one of their infamous knowing glances. They weren’t driven by the adrenaline and passion of what had happened. Not in the slightest. No, their desire was driven by pure, unfiltered joy.
They finally had you right where they wanted you. Broken. You had lost a fight you knew you could have won. Due to them, your confidence in your abilities was clouded by a fabricated series of events.
First, you’d be broken, not taking missions alone any further. The next phase would be to distance you from the school slowly. Trying to convince you that you didn’t need to worry about working, the two made more than enough money to provide for the three of you. If all went according to plan, you would be their perfect little live-in girlfriend in no time.
What made all of this ten times better was the fact that you had no idea tonight's events had left you in their web of lust and desire. They were the spiders, and you were the poor innocent fly—a fly about to be devoured in the most primal ways imagined.
“Thank you for saving me.”
”Nu-uh.”
“We did save you, so you need to thank us properly.”
The men pressed lips against you, hands trailing over your body. You melted against them, gasping as hands cupped your breasts, hard cocks rubbing against your hips as they ground against you. They did save you, didn’t they? They went above and beyond to stop what they were doing and come to your aid.
“Y-Yeah, I think I will.” You whispered, turning to kiss each man on the mouth before sinking to your knees. “Please, let me thank you.”
Two thick long cock were suddenly in your face, throbbing and leaking pre-cum from angry, flushed tips. Seeing as your hands were scrapped up and ran, you took turns sucking and licking each man's cock, while they jerked off. Your tongue flicked, swirled, and lapped the two cocks, until their cum spurted over your face coating your lips and cheeks. Your appreciation didn’t stop there. You pulled both fully clothed men into the shower with you, tugging their clothes off and discarding them over the shower door.
Satoru and Suguru both help you, lifting you, your legs wrapping around Satoru’s waist as Geto’s wet, chiseled chest pressed firmly over your back. Both cock’s teased your wet cunt’s entrance, rubbing over against each other as you whined softly, tilting your head back. Their cocks both pressed past the tight opening of your pussy, stretching your walls in a painful yet pleasurable way, leaving your cock drunk the deeper they sunk into your wet heat.
A minute was all they allowed you to take to attempt to adjust yourself to the sensation of having two cocks buried inside of you. They were bullying inside of you. Satoru’s cock kissed your cervix with each thrust, While Suguru rubbed against your g-spot in the most heavenly way. Perhaps if you had been a good girl and just left everything as it was, they would have taken it easier on you. Regretfully, in their eyes, you had almost ruined their carefully constructed ploy to make you theirs in every sense of the word. Due to that, you were going to be punished severely.
Their thrusts were hard, deep, and almost painful. Fucking into you as if you were just a sex toy rather than a human being. Satoru’s teeth dug painfully into your shoulder, leaving indentations in his wake. Suguru’s mouth trailed kissed over the nap of your neck, mouth gentler than Satoru but his hands were as cruel as the white-haired man's. He pinched and pulled at your nipples, yanking them until you cried out his name before releasing his grip. The relief never lasted long; as soon as the dull, stinging sensation subsided, Suguru returned to the painful teasing.
The kisses, touch, and thrusts weren’t the only way they were mean to you. Their words stung just as bad as the scrapes on your hands and the abrasions to your knees. If you hadn’t been crying from the mere overstimulation of pained pleasure, their words might have had your eyes watering just as much.
”Our stupid dirty slut, getting herself into such a fucked up me.”
”Yes, dragging us both out to save her.”
“Then, on top of everything we did. Going out of our way to save her after she blatantly told us she was fine, she still gets fucked good like the whore that she is.”
”Yeah, she might not be able to take on a cursed spirit, but she’s sure good at taking two dicks at the same time.”
Their words had your skin flushing in shame and need, your mouth dropping into an ‘O’ as the abdomen in your lower abdomen started to tighten. “Oooh, fuk, please, ha—ah fuuck.” You were so close, so damn close to either passing out or having the most intense orgasm of your life. If you were lucky, which didn’t seem likely after all the mishaps today, maybe, just maybe, you could experience both. “G-Gonna cum, please.”
”You hear that Satoru, our little cock slut wants to cum.”
Satoru’s hips began to jerk faster, the head of his cock slamming into your cervix thrust after thrust. “Does she even deserve it?” He continued, leaving pain over your skin, his tongue brushing over the marks.
“P-Please, oooh god, please don’t tease”
“Hm, what do you say, Suguru? Nngh fuck—“ Satoru hammered his hips into you, thrust after thrust, drawing you closer and closer to the edge. “Should our precious girl cum?”
“Aaahh yes~ let her cum, make her take both our loads, then once she catches her breath, we fuck her even more.”
Reaching between your bodies, Satoru rubbed your clit, making your walls twitch around the two monster cocks inside of you. Their pace matches the others, working in harmony to send you over the edge. A scream, one that had never left you before, echoes inside the steamy shower. “C-Cummin! Cumming!” You screamed over and over until both of you stiffened, ropes of thick hot cum filling you.
“Take it bitch, take every last drop, milk me dry.” Satoru was always more vocal, nipping and sucking at your ear as his whiny groans invaded your mind.
“P-Princess, mmmhm, fuuuck.” Unlike Satoru, who was all about talking and heaving his voice, Suguru was softer, moans deep and feral, but he didn’t feel the need to announce it to the entire apartment complex. “Fillin’ you up so good~”
They both did; their hot cum leaked out of you, running down their softening shafts. In the shower, you hummed, listening to the tittering splatter in the water washing over you. The peaceful moment lasted for but a second as both men pressed kisses on your shoulder.
“You belong to us.”
“Do you understand?”
As their wandering hand dug into your skin, you nodded. Rocking slightly against them with a helpless whine. “Yes, yeah, I belong to you both!” The two friends shared a cold, knowing smirk as you began thrusting into you harder, making your eyes roll back into your head as loud moans wrecked through you. Little did you know how serious they both were.
You belonged to them in every way, shape, and form, whether you liked it or not.
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༺ ♱✮♱ ¨:·Something Stupid- Chapter 5·:¨ ♱✮♱ ༻
A/N- Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took sooooo long to get out. I compensated in making it a bit longer than the usual chapters. I hope y’all enjoy :3
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Enjoy <3
꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🦢♕✶💫☾🥀꧂
“Well, did you enjoy that Emily?” You ask Emily as you both pass through the portal, and onto your porch.
“Yes! I finally get what you mean when you say Charlie and I are alike,”
“Sweetie, you are carbon copies of each other, it’s not that hard to come to that conclusion ,” You smile, and jump when you remember something.
“By the way, Sinners can be redeemed! I did some digging around a couple of days ago, but I forgot to tell you,”
For a moment, Emily becomes silent, letting the news sink in.
Shs squeals.
“Oh this is amazing! That means that-”
“That what, Emily?”
The voice of the Elder Seraphim makes you jump out of your skin.
“Hi, Sera, uhm just, er,” You lose face in front of Sera, but she is more looking at Emily than you.
“Where exactly have the two of you been? Emily I was looking all around for you today,”
“Oh she was just hanging out with me at my house today-”
“I didn't see you around at all today,” Adam pops up behind you.
Ah yes, him.
“Were you not out all day today?” You counter.
“Enough! I already knew that Emily was in Hell with you,”
Your mouth agape, you make an attempt to form a plausible excuse.
“I uh, just wanted to help out with the aftermath of the extermination and I just invited Emily along, please don't punish her, I really pushed her into it,” You grimace. Surely there’s going to be a berating headed your way.
Emily gives you a confused look, and you return it with a warning one.
“Whatever for? It's not like it works anyway,” Sera, despite spewing her bullshit, has her head up high.
The latter remark makes you stick out your chin, with a defensive attitude.
“Uh, yes it does, actually,” You smile innocently.
Sera’s face pales.
“What, what do you mean? Obviously, sinners do not have the capacity to be redeemed,”
“Yeah, the big shot’s right. Those little, dare I say, cunts have already fucked up their one chance, why give them another?”
Your ‘husband’ sides with the Seraphim, but Emily stays beside you.
“Well why not discuss this in court then?” Your eyes, almost manic glares into the ones of the first man.
“Wha- What the fuck man? You can't do that-Right Sera, she just can't-”
“No, she can… When do you want to hold the meeting?” She turns to you.
“Perhaps the day after the next? So that we'll have time to prepare,”
“.... Very well. Emily, let's go,”
Em stays back a bit and mutters, “Whatever happens, I’m on your side. I’ll try to help in anyway I can,”
“You don’t have to,” you mumble back.
“Emily! Let’s go,” Sera hisses. The two Seraphims leave the patio of your home.
“Why the fuck does this matter to you so much bitch?” Adam points an accusing finger at you, which you slap away.
“Oh, I don't know, maybe I want to uphold true Heavenly values? You of all people should know that,” You hiss back.
“Uh, no. Sinners can't be redeemed, now stop preaching all this dumb bullshit, and get ready, because you're going down, bitch,”
You bite your tongue, because God forbid you send him into a frenzy. You don’t have the time or energy for his tantrum right now.
“Well, I'm going to bed bitch, God, I am so handsome, and cool and amazing,” Adam sashays to the bedroom, irritating you so.
You pave a path to the living room.
You look at the couch.
You are not planning on sleeping on the same bed as Adam tonight.
Or the next, for that matter.
You flop on the couch like a tired dog, and doze off.
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
You’re in a desolate landscape. It's familiar.
Oh yeah, you've been here before.
Adjacent to you is the pedestal with the glowing ball.
“Yeah, I’m not doing that again,” You step away from the monument and bump into something.
Or rather, someone.
“Sera? What are you- hey!” The Seraphim suddenly pushes you without warning, cascading you down into a dark pit.
Dark pit… This has happened before.
What the fuck is going on?
Despite your confusion you flap your wings in the darkness, but as soon as you get to the top of the hole again, some force drags you down.
You look towards the surface, and see exterminators grinning (quite ironically) devilishly at the sight of your downfall
You spiral into the abyss, and the familiar heat appears.
You hit the ground with a thud, and jump out of your couch, sun rays peeking through the curtains.
What was that dream? That's the second time today that you had a dream such as this.
What's that glowing ball about?
Why, in the second dream, Sera pushed you into that hole?
Why couldn't you fly?
Why, did you fall?
Also, what is up with the ground at the bottom of the pothole?
It was so different from the empty landscape at the surface, with its red hot coals.
You rub your eyes with your trembling hands. It felt so real, as if your hands are suffering the aftermath of being burnt on the scorching stones.
There's no point crying about it now.
Time to become your own attorney.
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“So, let me get this straight. There's a court meeting tomorrow and you need Charlie to be there. On short notice?!” Vaggie groans and rubs her temples.
“This is the perfect recipe for disaster,”
“Yah, honestly you fumbled this one toots,” Angel adds, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.
“Vaggie, this isn't so bad. At least now we have solid evidence. Who knows? We actually have a fighting chance,” Charlie gives her girlfriend a comforting hug from behind.
“I know it's short notice, and I'm sorry I'm asking for a lot, but it could help you guys immensely,” You ramble on.
“Maybe we can sit down and look all of this over. I’ve brought some documents with me, and after possibly I could snatch Sir Pentious to go to the court meeting as well,” You start naming things like a list so fast, the words that leave your mouth are almost unintelligible.
“Hey, maybe you should sit down. Seems like you're getting the jitters. Oh Charlie! Maybe you should brew a pot of tea, hmm?” Lucifer puts a hand on your shoulder and guides you to the couch.
“Sorry for getting worked up about all of this, and all, I just have a lot on my plate,” you rub the head of Kiki, calming down to the vibrations of the cat's purrs.
“Yeah I could tell,” The demon holds your shaky hand gently, as if it was made of glass.
“See, you're shaking. I'm assuming the hearing isn't the only reason you're so anxious,”
You sigh.
“Really, I'm fine. Don't worry about it,” You smile, and squeeze his hand.
The King slightly reddens at the touch.
Charlie enters the room with piping hot cups of tea with Vaggie, who was holding a tin of biscuits. Charlie squints at the sight of you and her dad holding hands. Instinctively, you pull away casually.
“Okay, so,” You begin to take out some papers from your bag and place them on the table.
“Recently, St. Peter gave me receipts of who has entered Heaven in the recent weeks. Even though we know that Sir Pentious is in Heaven, we should still try to match up the dates of when he entered, and the day of extermination,”
“It'll be good hard cold evidence, especially if we get a grab of Pentious himself…” you bite your lip.
“We’d probably have to look around for more information… Would either of you know anything?” You turn to the three.
Lucifer scratches his head for a moment.
“Hmm, nothing that I could think of-”
“I believe I could make an attempt to ask Rosie and the other Overlords, they like to be keeping an eye on everything that goes on in Hell,” The familiar nails-on-a-chalkboard voice makes you jump out of your seat, almost spilling the cups of tea on the table.
Geez, can Alastor abstain himself from giving you a jumpscare just to make his entrance?
“Yeah, that'd be amazing! We really need all hands on deck for this,” Charlie answers for you.
“Thanks Alastor. You're so kind,” You add, just out of habit.
“It’s no problem my dear. Anything to help out a friend,”
Friend? Alastor isn't an enemy to you, but you barely have shared any proper conversation to consider him your friend.
That title he used for you seemed, off, like he doesn't regard you as a friend.
But why-?
Oh.
“Yeah, thanks for your kind offer Alastor, but I'm quite confident that us three have it covered. So can you please remove yourself from here? We need to concentrate,” Lucifer pipes up from beside you, a thin layer of rage decorating his tone.
“Uhm, some extra help doesn't hurt anyone Dad, right Y/N?”
It feels like everyone in the room is looking at you for your input.
Thankfully, your saving grace, Niffty turns the attention to her.
“Why are all the bad boys becoming good boys?! Ugh! So lame,” She groans as she uses a brush to sweep stray crumbs from the floor.
Using this window of opportunity, you change the subject.
“Okay, now regarding Sir Pentious, I should probably call him now…”
“I still have the card you gave me!” Charlie takes out the card from her breast pocket, crusted with dry slime and lint.
“You keep that thing on you?” Vaggie cringes.
“Yes, and?” Charlie dials the number on the card.
Briing rring
You hold your breath as each silent second drags on.
“Hello? Who isss thiss?” A voice rings from the other end.
“Sir Pentious, is that you?!” The Princess replies.
“Charlie? Iss that you?” The voice counters.
“Oh hi!! So as much as I want to catch up with you, I have a teeny tiny favour to ask of you…”
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“Ahh, I don't know Charlie. Thiss iss a very important matter, I don't know if I could handle it,”
“Pentious, by helping us, we could be achieving big! We need to either go big or go home! I know it's a lot of you, but, pretty please?”
A crackled sigh.
“Oh alright…”
“Aaaa thank you so much Pentious! I'd give you a hug, but, you know… Ah bye bye!”
Charlie drops the call.
“Seems like everything's in order now. I'll see you guys tomorrow?” You stand up from the couch.
“Yes, and Y/N?”
You turn to the Princess.
“Yes Charlie?”
She hesitates.
“....Thank you again, for all of this,”
“Charlie, again, it's really no problem, okay? It's literally the least I can do,” You give Charlie a hug.
It's all you can do.
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“We are gathered here today to re-determine if sinners are able to redeem themselves via Charlie Morningstar’s Hazbin Hotel,” The Seraphim’s voice bellows from above.
Cherubs and winners are below you, Charlie is by your side, and Emily is beside Sera, on edge.
“The plaintiff is Y/N, and the defendant is Adam, the first man. Y/N, I bring the floor to you,”
You take a deep breath and take out your notes.
“Well, your Honour, I have receipts which show that a sinner has entered Heaven in recent weeks,” You thrust out the piece of paper, which Sera draws towards her.
“He goes by the name ‘Sir Pentious’,” Your voice puts on a nonchalant tone, but it feels like your heart is about to stop.
Sera reads over the piece of paper, her face as though she swallowed a particularly sour lemon.
“Uhhhh, I call bullshit. I mean come onnnnnn,” Adam groans.
“I mean, do you know how easy it is for her to just print that out. Don't tell me you're actually believing this?” He smirks, and gets a snicker from Lute beside him.
“Uhm actually,”Sir Peter pipes up from the stands.
“I actually gave her that paper a while ago, if that can vouch for anything-”
“Shut up Pete,” Adam spits.
“Order!” Sera’s feathers ruffle, and she tucks them back down.
“Unless the defendant shows indubitable evidence, I’m afraid the verdict still stands,”
“Sera no!” Emily cries.
“Emily, this is an official court meeting, one of which you aren’t apart of. If you can’t keep quiet, you would have to leave the courtroom,”
You bite your nail. You really didn’t want to pull out your winning card this early…
“May I call a witness?”
“You may,”
“Well I call Sir Pentious as my witness,” You nod towards where the cacophony of angels were.
“Well your Honour…” He hisses, his tail wagging as though alert.
“I used to be a sinner, ass you may already know. During the lasst extermination, I wass killed in the battle… Then before I knew it, I wass up here in Heaven. That's all,” Pentious looks up at you, and you give a thumbs up along with a smile.
“Any quesstions?”
“No, you may sit down,” Sera starts, but a cherub pipes up from the audience.
“What does he mean by “as you already know”? I for one didn't know about that,”
Multiple angels, winners and Heavenborn alike, all murmur in agreement. Emily then bursts out,
“I'll tell you this. It's because Sera and I knew when Sir Pentious entered Heaven. Rather than going through the pearly gates, he appeared amongst the two of us.”
And all Hell, (or Heaven) breaks loose.
“Silence! This meeting is adjourned,” Sera’s ringing voice brings the noise of the populated stadium to a halt.
“Adjourned? What, why?” Charlie inadvertently voices your thoughts.
“My reasoning will not be objected,” Sera dodges the question.
“This meeting will be continued within twenty minutes,”
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“Charlie, what do we do? Sera clearly doesn’t want to budge, and God knows what lies Adam is feeding her,” you pace up and down, words leaving your mouth as quick as lightning.
“Uhh don’t panic,” Charlie puts her hands up defensively.
“She hasn’t made a decision yet, we could- erh” She stumbles over her words, and fumbles a small yellow item out of her pocket and puts it in your hand.
“My dad said to give it to you if you got worked up- uhm,” Charlie steps backward a bit to give you some space.
You look at the object in your hand, which took the shape of a duck that was decorated with the signature white hat, and an apple cane in its flank.
You squeeze it and it produces a familiar tune. Your eyes widen as you remember that it was the melody you complimented just the other day.
At the time, it was just obligatory praise, but you were absolutely smitten by the fact that Lucifer has taken it seriously.
The dedication, into making something like this, for you is…
Charming.
Really Charming.
“Uhhh, Are you alright?” The Princess taps her foot anxiously, waiting for your answer.
“Oh yeah!” You look up, cheeks warming.
“I really love it. Tell him as such,” your stupid face breaks into a smile despite everything.
“I will. He’d be pretty happy hearing that, especially from you,” she gives you a playful nudge.
“You know… He likes you. Like- a lot,”
Your eyes brighten, and Charlie squeals at the sight.
“Oh, I knew it was reciprocal!” She brings you into a massive bear hug.
“Charlie- I-,”
“Oh, sorry,” She lets go.
“I was squeezing too hard, wasn’t I?”
“No, no it’s not that. It’s that well- you know I’m married,” An gravelly sigh leaves your lips.
“I think we would be better as friends,” Your throat is scratchy. Why is this so hard to say?
“Oh,” was her reaction, only enhancing your guilt even more. She looked so remorseful, you wanted to hug her so badly and say that you were lying.
And you were.
“Excuse me?” A cherub taps your shoulder.
“The court meeting is about to resume,”
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
As you enter back on your podium, you see Adam whispering something into Sera’s ear. He looks at you and makes a rude gesture, which you reciprocate.
“Enough! The court is back in session. Now, I bring the defendant to speak,”
“Ehhh yeah, anyway my point still stands. I don’t think we want some sinners cavorting around , making trouble,”
His statement just irritates you. How could he just say something like that?
“How do you know that? Pentious has been here for a while, and I doubt he has been making any disturbance,” are you picking the low hanging fruit? Yes. Is it helping your case? Also yes.
“Uhhhh yeah, but what’s the guarantee that others won’t? Geez, you’re so gullible,” He snorts like the pig he is.
“The defendant has a point. I feel like I’ve come to a conclusion, and it still hasn’t changed from the last session. Lute, please see Princess Charlie Morningstar out. Everyone else is dismissed,”
All the spectators leave. Sir Pentious looks back and gives you a consoling wave before taking his leave.
Lute flies over to your podium and a portal opens behind Charlie.
“What? No!” You and Emily shout in unison. The General roughly grabs the princess by the arm and drags her through the threshold.
Horns protrude from Charlie’s head, trying to resist the Angel’s force. More exterminators appear, almost magically and with one final push, the Demon princess is hauled through the portal.
“Charlie, NO!” You outstretch your hand, but it’s too late. The gateway closed with a whoosh sound.
“Now, was that really necessary?” You stare daggers at Sera, Lute and Adam.
“It had to be done,” was her response.
“Also, Sera, you said you wanted to talk to Y/n about something,” The first man’s tone is sinister, and is putting you on edge.
“Oh, yes. Thank you for the reminder. Well, Mrs. Y/N, I ban you from travelling to Hell without a permit,”
“What, why?!” Your heart is in your throat.
“Uhh, coz I don’t want you there. D'you know how bad it'll look on me if I can’t control my wife?!”
Sera puts her fingers between her eyes.
“Ahem, what Adam is trying to say is that, you clearly aren’t thinking of the consequences all of this may have. Imagine the state of Heaven if we just let any riff-raff in,”
You let out a short breath in shock. That was it. Game over.
“Unbelievable,”
“Y/N, WAIT!-” Emily tries to fly to your podium
She was met with a slammed door in her face.
꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🐣♕✶💫☾🥀꧂
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