#id rather not have one of the few hobbies i really enjoy turn into something i hate

[wp100]

people always ask me if im going to do something with my art money-wise and it's like... not every hobby artist is destined to make money off it.

it's a huge task to get noticed online, let alone make money. it's like having another job. you have to promote and push yourself and your image. it's like running a business. and there is no way in hell i'm ever going to do that. im tired enough from working full time already. and even when i take time off... i still dont feel like i have enough time to sit down, relax, and work on my art.

and sometimes... people just want to do art as a hobby. not everyone wants to make money off it. and that's okay.

#id rather not have one of the few hobbies i really enjoy turn into something i hate #i already struggle with my art mentally... like thinking im not good enough some days #dont wanna make it even worse trying to make it a job #delete later #also you kinda have to network and have artist friends if you wanna make it big #i dont have artist friends let alone... any friends to help me with my art #and having a following helps... and if people share #and if people are interested in buying your art #i dont even know how to do commissions. i dont know how that stuff works lol im Dumb. #in the decade ive spent posting art online ive only ever had one person ask if i take comms... i dont sadly. probably will never #and that's not a bad thing #but some people make out like it is. like no maybe i dont want to?

[xamvjay]

|Video call sesh - Armin x afab!reader|

**WARNINGS: contains smut, explicit language, and sexual themes. MINORS DNI although I know yall horny out there reading it**

The picture above is NOT MINE and goes to the rightful credited owner.

All characters mentioned below are NOT MINE and belong to the Original Creator/Author/Illustrator.

This piece is a work of fiction and is pure imagination and is not real and does not involve in the original story/timeline.

Genre: smut, romance,

cw: afab!reader, college au, thiskindasucks, sorry about the long ass zero activity, phone sex, dom!afabreader, sub!arminarlet, not proofread, no you didn't see me change pics

A/N: YALL this too waayy too long (procrastinated like crazy) but damn yall really like armin- but i mean he deserves it. im glad this got a lot of attention although this isnt my best/fav work. anyways enjoy~

wc: 4.2k sheesh---------------------------------------------------------

I just couldn't sleep. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but every once of exhaustion just happen to leave me the moment my back hit the mattress. Staring at the ceiling for as long as I could remember, weird patterns and swirls started to form in this pitch blackness of a room. I kicked of the blanket in frustration and kept tossing to both sides hoping the coolness of the pillow could lull me to sleep. Not working. Turning to switch on the small beige lamp that sat at the center of my nightstand, I grabbed the phone that was charging.

“Hm, who should I bother at this time?” I questioned myself as I swiped up to see the enlarged numbers displayed in front of me to show how late it was already. It was half-past two in the morning and still, no signs of sleep were showing. Hovering on the white outlined app that resembled a polaroid camera, I decided to click on it knowing it was a bad idea. ‘Great, now I totally won’t sleep today.’ I thought to myself mindlessly as I went away, doing the usual – infinite scrolling and hitting rock bottom. Sudden thought arose in my smart head as I went to check the people who were online. And lo and behold it was Armin.

He was that one geeky nerdy student that you barely ever saw him socialize with and was always alone with a book in his hands, reading away. After several group projects and being enamoured by his adorable self I decided to exchange ids. funnily he didn’t have an account and after countless bothering he finally gave in and reassured that he would be making an account and have his id. Grinning at the idea I clicked on his profile once again and saw that he had ten followers. Going through the list I noticed the majority were people not from our college and seemed like it was either his family or random strangers. One particularly caught my eye, it was a girl who sported a similar innocent, rather simple appearance and enjoyed rather few hobbies, similar to Armin.

My eyes glided over the bio-status she had written on her page, and it said ‘Armin Arlet’ coupled with emojis. But the emojis had a rose and a teddy bear. Interesting. Who was she exactly? Scrolling down to see her images that had a couple of selfies wearing different outfits and each had glasses on her face. Some were with friends, family, pets, adventures, and Armin. Armin? ‘Woah okay so they must be childhood friends or something’ I wondered. “Or girlfriend,” I spoke out into the dark as I stared at the ceiling once again. For some reason, that thought bothered me.

Armin being in a relationship? I didn’t enjoy that idea. A flicker of jealousy was igniting inside me. Him having a partner while I didn’t annoy me for sure. Staring at the photo where they both sat together with an ocean behind them and a pretty sunset. I started to notice how cute the girl was. She was wearing a white wool cardigan with a pink frock and a white tie on the waist. Her hair was done in pretty, tight curls, and she had this cool brown complexion as her bright brown orbs were staring at him. Her glasses were slightly down the nose bridge and her smile was so bright like her eyes.

My eyes then went to look at him and he had a very neutral to a more relaxed expression. He wore also dark-framed square glasses. His blonde hair was neat yet messy possibly from the wind. A navy-blue v-neck sweater was worn, and a white-collar shirt was exposed. His eyes. A beautiful shade of baby blue that was staring straight at the camera. It didn’t hold any specific emotion, but it felt like it twinkled at the sunset scenery. He looked so beautiful. Clicking out of the selfie, I scrolled up fast to the start of her page and read her username. @Claireuwu. So, it’s Claire huh. A cute name for a cute girl I must admit.

Sighing I went to check my unread DMs sent by my boisterous yet fun buddies of mine a thought popped to my head. Tapping on his profile as I thought of a response to message him with. I wondered what he was doing this late in the morning. Maybe we could hold an intellectual conversation like we did last time when we were making our way to the next workshop.  

Me: Yo, you busy?

Hello, no I’m not busy. :ArminArlet

‘Pretty formal, even during texting.’ I chuckled at his cute trait.

Me: well okay can I call you?

At this time? It’s too late, I cannot talk right now. Sorry. : ArminArlet

Me: Hm, funny coming that from you.        Whatre you doin up this late?        Thought you got sum curfew to follow lol

A couple of seconds passed as I waited for his response.

 Hey! I like to have an organized schedule. And me being up this late should not concern you. I will leave now. Have a good night: ArminArlet

My eyes shot up as I saw him go offline immediately. What the hell? Not even waiting for a reply back from me? Nope. I HAVE TO think about something. ‘Think! Think!’ I chanted in my head like a mantra.

Me: Heyy waittt dont go away        Yk I saw this news that this person uhh think his name was Sir Syukuro? Ik you adore him        Dont rlly remember his last name but he finally got a nobel prize alongside with sum1 else over uhh       OH physical modelling of Earth’s climate. Sir Klaus and Sir Parisi is involved

I nibbled on my bottom lip hoping that he would come back online and read my messages. A few minutes passed and so did my patience. I was seconds from calling him directly until I saw him typing. Yes! Oh, the relief of not appearing as an irritating person who disturbs someone with uncalled actions.

Really? I must look that up right away. Thank you for letting me that know. Although how did you know that Sir Syukuro Manabe was one of my favoruite physicst? : ArminArlet

Me: Hahaha glad I have your attention.        Uhm about that yk theres sumthin called paying attention?       Yea thas what I did wit you armin

Ah, I see. Thank you for listening to my rambles. I suppose. And what exactly is ‘yk’. I’m sorry I’m not familiar with these… slang or whatnot. : ArminArlet

Me: I could explain this and a lot more if we could just talk yk?

Fine. Since you are persistent with it, I will allow a maximum of 5 minutes. I cannot raise suspicion in my family.: ArminArlet

Did he say, family? Does he live with his family? That’s kind of fun not going to lie. I live in my own single-bedroom apartment – catering to college students that were closer to the campus. I guess he lives kind of far so he’s always seen rather extremely early on the campus.

Me: Yes sire. I shall call you now.

Wait! Not yet, I need to do…somethings then it’ll be safe for me to talk. I will give you, my signal.: ArminArlet

Something? Hmm. What could that be? I remember all these efforts that I had to put up through when texting my exes at late night during my high school stages. What a hassle. Glad I got a taste of my freedom and peace from that toxic household.

Me: alright whenever youre ready

Moments passed and then I got the green signal. ‘Perfect.’ I thought. the sense of winning washing over me. I never tried this hard for anyone just to come to my terms but having that done for Armin was an interesting one. A few rings went by and at the fifth one, he finally picked up.

ArminArlet joined the call.

Me: Hey, there buddy, you okay?

Armin: Uhm…yes. Yes, I am. Please make it fast.

Me: Okay damn. Uh, yea before that did you have your dinner?

A couple of silence and shuffling passed.

Armin: Uhm, yes, I did have my dinner. And what about you?

Me: If you considering snacking dinner then yea I did.

Armin: Snacking? Did you skip dinner? That’s not a proper nutritious dinner. Please try to have a better breakfast before today’s class.

Me: Do I hear worry? *laughs* don’t you worry about me hun, I’m alright, and yes, I will take breakfast for today’s class.

Armin: I-I… wasn’t being concerned! I was just acting like any normal person would do.

Me: Sure, whatever you say. That’s what my ex used to say. *snorting a bit*

Another wave of quietness wafted through the speakers until he spoke up with curiosity.

Armin: …What happened with them? Y-y-you don’t uhm have to answer this if it...makes you uncomfortable!

He spoke out with such care, caution and interest.

Me: Ah, don’t worry it’s quite fine. That son of a bitch slept with a girl I used to have beef with. And had the nerve to dump me. A 2-year long relationship went down the drain. And to be honest he was kind of a walking red flag that I decided to ignore. 

Armin: …I’m really sorry about what happened. I don’t understand why he would do that with someone who’s really smart and gorgeous. Wai-

Me: Gorgeous? *laughing* Did you just admit that I’m gorgeous? Thought I was too intimidating for you?

Armin: Uhm… uh I mean in a good way! You look really cool and all. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I promise.

He stuttered out as fast as he could. How cute.

Me: Awe, thank you *smiling* I’m glad you find me good-looking. Anyways enough about me, what’re you doing up this late?

Armin: Uhm…shoot, I was just busy with some things. Yeah, that’s all.

Me: That doesn’t sound as convincing as it may sound to you *laughing softly*

Armin: I promise you I was just busy with some important stuff that’s all.

Me: Sure *elongating the pronunciation* whatever you say, hun. Well, how’s your family? Claire?

A sigh was pushed out from him, assuming it was a sigh of relief.

Armin: Oh, yeah, they are fine too. Claire’s fine t- Wait! How do you know her?!

Me: Hm? Oh, her yea I came across her from your followers list.

Armin: Oh…what exactly were you doing in my…page?

Me: Ah I was just curious. I’m interested in your whereabouts and connections since you are really private.

Armin: Uh…yea I see. That’s kind of strange but alright.

Me: Ah, sorry I tend to do that with people I’m interested in. My b-.

Armin: Wait did you say interested? You are interested in…me?

Me: Bingo. I am. I hope you are too just as how much I am.

The stillness was floating in the air as I waited for him to say something back.

Armin: Uh…I’m not that interesting I p-promise. Please don’t w-waste your time on m-m-me…

Me: Shh, it’s alright hun, I like you for you. I’ve always found you fascinating and caught my attention every time you were present. Heck, you were on my mind even when you’re not there. It’s crazy.

Armin: …I’m…I can’t believe. I…

Me: It’s okay, take a breather. You don’t have to feel the same way. It’s totally fine. I just felt the need to say it *smiling sadly*. What was is it that we wanted to talk about origin-

Armin: No! Wait I uhm…I really do like you too. I don’t know I never really felt like this but I feel warm inside. You m-make me feel t-things…*whimper noises*

I was quite stunned by his confession. He liked me back? Never thought in a million years would I hear those words coming from his cute lips. I sighed in relief as I felt another wave of victory wash over me. Smiling at his pretty whimper noises I decided to explore furthermore.

Me: so…you like me too? You can’t even imagine how happy I am hearing you admit the same feelings I feel for you.

Armin: Y-yes. I really do l-like you…

Me: I’m glad babe but are you okay there?

Armin: Oh! Yes, I’m fine. Yes, I am. Oh, s-

A sudden cut of noise occurred as I looked back at the screen. He muted himself. Someone must’ve come over at this time. I decided to hang about and moved around to find another comfortable position.

Armin: Hey…sorry I had to uhm abruptly mute because my pet dog came over so suddenly it scared me. I h-had to stop him from barking. *laughs nervously* yeah, really sorry.

Me: *laughing* it’s quite alright babe. So…what exactly were you doing at such time?

Armin: Uhm...nothing really…stuff.

Me: Armin, baby please tell me, I won’t repeat myself. What were you doing?

A few whimpering noises were heard and a nervous chuckle until he spoke once again.

Armin: I-I was on your page…

Me: Go on.

Armin: ….looking at your posts, your selfies.

I smirked at the idea of him being on my page and stalking my posts. I clicked and went to my page as I asked him further questions.

Me: And were they nice?

Armin: Uhm yes, they were…really pretty.

Me: I’m glad, what did you like the most?

Armin: T-the one where you w-w-ore bunny ears…

He spoke so softly, nervously as his sweet voice faded away. I swiped around to finally find the post he was talking about. Hmm, not a bad taste. It was the photo where I was having a pretty shitty day and decided to dress up while I was high. I was sporting a photo where I lay on my chest on the bed in front of the camera. My bangs framed my face as the black playboy-styled bunny ears settled on my head. Loose curls flowed down my black t-shirt-covered back. Almost unattached buttons were done so a good amount of cleavage was exposed. Almost seemed that it was flowing out of the shirt. Inside the shirt, I wore a black halter-style swimsuit. My perfectly smooth ass was exposed to the camera too. Pretty legs that were covered in fish stockings were presented nicely too. Dark red lipstick was covering my beautiful lips. A tongue was stuck out showing the cute piercing I got on it.

‘Interesting choice.’ I thought once again. Noticed I was silent far too long as those cute whimpers brought me back to the present situation.

Me: What is it that you liked about it?

Armin: Uhm…e-everything. You looked…a bit more gorgeous.

Me: Awe baby thank you *smiling* well, what did that photo make you feel?

Quicker breathing was spotted coming from the receiver’s end as I waited patiently.

Armin: It i-it made me feel s-so many things…

Me: Like what exactly baby?

Armin: *a little moan escaped his mouth* I-it made me f-feel h-hot and painful d-d-own there.

He stuttered out with great difficulty. I smirked at the thought of his current situation. Poor baby. He needs some sort of relief. And I’ll help him.

Me: Can you switch to video call for me? I need to see you, so I can help you. I promise darling.

Armin: …D-do you promise?

Me: I promise baby.

A few moments passed as I looked at the request that came up on my screen. Accepting it, I adjusted my camera where a teasing amount of cleavage showed from my thin shirt. Seconds later the dark screen vanished, and his face popped on my screen. A disoriented look he was wearing.

His blond hair was flying everywhere, and his eyes were a bit red, but those beautiful blue eyes were so vibrant. The glasses sat wonkily as his nose bridge and cheeks were a pretty shade of pink. Parted lips as a wet muscle swiped over to moist those luscious lips. Earbuds were connected to his ear as he softly shook his head, probably removing those dirty scenes his head was mustering up.

I panned the camera to my face as I tucked my hair and smirked and bit my lip.

“Damn baby you look so good right now,” I whispered out. That puppy look of his was more visible as he pouted and the shade of pink turned darker. “T-thank you,” he whispered out too. “Could you show me the problem you were facing, hm?” A shy nod was done as he slowly went down to show a grey boxer. A large tent, no, a whole fucking campsite was donning there. It looked so hard and huge that I gulped at the scene. ‘Fuck that’s hot’ I mindlessly thought.

“It seems like a big problem babe. Could you remove those cute boxers of yours?” I spoke out after analysing that tasty scene. A hum was heard as his pale pretty hands went to remove the boxers and showed me his problem. ‘God, it’s so pretty,’ I gawked at it. There it was. The tip was flushed an angry shade of red and a large vein ran at the bottom of his dick. The tip was already leaking with a generous amount of clear pre-cum fluid and dribbled down to the base of his dick, connecting his balls.

“Baby, you got a pretty cock, did you know that before?” I spoke out softly as I kept a trained gaze on it. “N-No, not really…” Well good, no one was there to see him at this state and got the privilege to see the gem he holds. “Awe, well now you know. C’mon now, show me what you know.” I urged. “Uh…I don’t really know w-what to d-do, sorry…” Oh. Shocker. I mean it was expected of him, but this was fascinating. “Oh. Is that so? Well, let me guide you, okay?” A hum was heard again. Awesome. “So, do what I say accordingly if you want to feel maximum pleasure, alright?” Another hum was heard. “You gotta speak up baby, otherwise I won’t know.” “Ah! S-sorry, yes, I will follow accordingly…” A beaming grin appeared on my face as I stared at the screen.

“Good boy. Now I want you to wrap your pretty hands on that pretty cock of yours, okay? Start moving up and down and make sure to tease the tip.” As I finished my words he started to follow shortly to my advice. A few moans escaped his mouth as he did a continuous motion.

“Good boy, Now fasten up the pace just a bit,” Seconds later he started to go at a faster motion. The precum that was present now was slobbered over his pretty cock as it glistened in front of my eye. “Use your thumb to occasionally rub over the tip. Make sure you use your other hand to play with yourself.” I stated breathlessly. The scene displayed in front of me was just so fucking hot. Better than any porn I watched. More sweet noises were released from his fluttering lips and entered my ears. I relished the sight that was displayed in front of me.

His cock was reddened from the constant rubbing of the up and down motion. His hands started to slow down and let out a low grunt. “God, t-this feels s-so good…”. He faltered out followed by a small moan. “I’m glad you are enjoying this babe, c’mon quicken that pace.” Seconds later he followed the motion as I ordered him to do so. “Tell me, what are you imagining,” I whispered out as I bit my moan, feeling hot and bothered down there. “I-I ima-magine y-your uhm c-chest near my uh d-dick…and touching i-it.”

Oh. Oh wow. I hadn’t expected him to imagine something like that. This started to get me more excited. He’s got to have more kinks and deeper desires which I get to unravel and delve into his likes and dislikes. Maybe we have things in common and we can share them and enjoy them. “Go on darling.” I urged him impatiently wanting to hear the end of this imagination. “A-nd y-you thrust my dick in between them and…gosh this is embarrassing...” He let out with a quiet whine. “Hey, it’s not embarrassing. I’m learning to understand what you like or don’t like so we can further explore it with each other, next time that is. So please don’t be embarrassed for having preferences and desires, okay?” I reassured with as much as reasoning I could. I deeply wanted him to be comfortable with me and be able to share everything with me that is comfortable and not crossing his limit.

He panned the camera towards his face where he nodded and wiped something away from his eyes, what I presume are his tears. “T-thank you. I really appreciate it.” He spoke with a wobbly smile as he kept wiping his tears away. Giving a sad smile I motioned a half-hug where I put my phone to my chest and cradled it with my arms. After a few moments, I stopped and propped the phone on my blanket as I posed the same way I did in his favourite picture of mine. Smirking I motioned with my hand to keep the ball rolling. His eyes glistened as I felt the red tones forming on his youthful-looking cheeks. He nodded as he placed the camera view back to what now belongs to me. His moans kept reaching a new octave as I quickly reminded him. “Darling~ you can’t be too loud otherwise you will get caught now.” I spoke teasingly knowing he has no self-control over himself. “Oh y-yes s-sorry y/n…” coupled with some groans.

His hands went faster this time than before, probably gained some energy from the small rest when we shared a heartfelt conversation. More pre-cum leaked out and dribbled down and reached to the base of where his balls rested and now were covered by a slick of his juices. Getting lost in the view and the sweet sounds soothing my ears, an idea popped inside my head. I got on my knees and saw how my waist was only in view. I discarded my shirt and massaged my boobs. Going down again I spoke up “Hey sweetcheeks, have a look at what I’m showing.”

“Oh f-fuck, you ungh you have v-very beautiful uhh breasts.” He spoke out with great struggle. His tone sounded more pitchy, and his breath was significantly quicker than before. “Thank you~. I assume you are getting closer?” I questioned as I massaged my tits and pressed them together. “Y-yea-“and his response was cut short by a delicious revelation to me. a white spurt of cum jetted out from the tip and messily landed everywhere on his abdomen, milky thighs, and sheets. A louder moan was ripped out from his throat as he clenched his dick with his right hand.

That was a hot sight. “Mhm babe that looks so good. Wish that cum was on my chest though.” I spoke out in a daze light voice. My head imagined the scene right now and how I would have tasted them and kissed him, allowing him to taste how divine he was. Oh, there’s a great substitute for that. “Babe, scoop some of those precious cum on your fingers and stick it in your mouth. Show it to me while you’re at it.” I said laying on my back and holding the phone close to my face. A hum was heard as his slim fingers were coated by the slick juice and stuck it in his mouth that was drooling with saliva. A more satisfied moan was heard from him. it made me tad bit jealous that he got to taste himself and I couldn't. Well, I got to plan the next meet up as soon as possible which is today technically. “How’s the taste babe?” I inquired. “O-oh it tasted a bit tasteless but uhm it had a bit of sweetness to it. It wasn’t bad.” Hmph my turn better come up as soon as possible.

“Good, good. Well tell me how was it? Did you enjoy it?” I asked curiously. “Uhm oh yes! I felt really good and thank you for helping me w-with this.” He panned to his face where clearly showed his embarrassment and gratefulness. “That’s my job babe. I promise the moment the next time will be better when I’m there with you physically.” I smirked and let out a laugh. Noticing his tiredness and the time too I started to wrap up this amazing videocall I had experienced.

“Goodnight baby, I’ll see you today, okay? Rest well. You did well today” I spoke reassuringly as he let out a tired yawn and rubbed his eyes and nodded faintly. “Mngh, yes y/n. Thank you for today and night night”

I stared at him as he managed to fall asleep immediately. What a cutie. A few minutes later I ended the call and connected the phone to the charger. He’s so fucking adorable it kind of hurts. His feminine yet boyish looks are what caught my attention. Not to forget his smart intelligent brain that happens to solve critical problems in such a brilliant way, it was amazing. Well, I should go ahead and take a shower because that show he put up for me…was just extremely hot and gave me a problem.

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#armin arlert #aot fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #aot smut #smut #x reader #oneshot #aot season 4 #anime

[bettermiya]

Hellooo if it's okay id like to request a haikyuu matchup pls- (don't mind my awkward communication skills btw)

General stuff

Im female (she/her), 17 years old, relatively short (160cm, idk what that is in feet Im European :,)) maybe 5'3??)), my parents are from West Asia (Turkey) but I was born in a german speaking country so somehow i can speak 6 languages now-

Personality

One will realize pretty fast that I am in fact not normal lmao- i'm a bit weird but i'm living for it. I'd describe myself as rather introverted though I'm not shy or timid. I just like to relax and take things slow. I'm pretty easy to talk to if I do say so myself and laid-back as well. I'm also funny apparently (my friend's opinion. Lazy too but we don't talk about that HA-)

Interests/Hobbies

If you couldn't already tell by my ability to speak a lot of languages I am really interested in them. I love to learn new stuff and expand my knowledge in general- I also LOVE listening to music (my earphones are my bebes) and sometimes drawing is pretty tempting as well. Idk why but designing/ decorating is something I tend to enjoy doing even though I don't realize it. Gardening is also a hobby of mine.

Just a few more smaller facts- My love language is quality time and I'm not overly experienced when it comes to relationships. I tend to be drawn to ppl that are open and know what they want. Confidence and loyalty are a big factor.

Thank you in case my request gets accepted <33 bye byeee~

Tsukishima Kei is surprised that he would be fascinated with you!

He's not an easy guy. The type who would retaliate with a sharp tongue before letting anyone in, but you've managed to get past his defenses. It's a combination of not pushing his limits and having the intellect to study languages, which is such a difficult subject. Tsukishima is a person who relentlessly pursues knowledge even if he hides it under such a cool façade. If he discovers that you, as unassuming as you are, can assist him in some way? Even his pride cannot keep him from asking for your assistance while his eyes are downcast, and he tugs at his fingers.

Why not? His demands are straightforward and specific. You start assisting him with his request, but you never expected to catch so much attention for it. You're beginning to see that other girls are drawn to Tsukishima by his good looks without knowing about the twisted personality hidden beneath. His interactions with Hinata and Kageyama, two of his volleyball club teammates, demonstrate his cruelty. A sharp word. A biting laugh. A taunt. Tentatively, you asked him about his personality, and he answers:

( “What gives me the right to be cruel to you? You haven't done anything, and you're helping me.” It could be a trick of the light, but he appears to be blushing into the crook of his arm.  )

His meanness, however, is directed at anyone who might criticize you. Those girls' attentions turn negative. He can easily exploit each of their insecurities. This one is far too ugly, this one is far too stupid, and this one is far too pathetic. It doesn’t matter where in the social hierarchy they are because Tsukishima is an ever-loyal attack dog. He’ll take all the heat if it means they’ll leave you alone.

One day, a girl who used to blush pretty when he was close had splashed water in his face. He didn't even blink. You dragged him to the back of the gymnasium and asked Tsukishima why he was willing to go so far for you.

This is too much.

( “You're a moron. I thought you were smarter than this… Why would someone be so protective? Because they like the other person.” )

#cloudmaniac

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hey:) i havev a matchup request for genshin and honkai star rail!

id rather not share my name, since its optional

pronouns: he/they

sexuality: bi (id like the matchup to be for men though!)

zodiac & mbti: pisces and intj/intp (i get half half on j and p a lot)

appearance: im 5'3, pale skin, have chin length dark brown hair (that i tie up often bc its annoying), and dark brown eyes. i wear circular glasses and i dress either really casually (hoodie, sweatpants, comfort, comfort, comfort) or i try to look as.. scary? as possible (all black, tight halter top, arm warmers, loose pants) and theres really no in between... i wear a lot of jewelry (rings, ear piercings, bracelets/necklaces if i feel like it) and normally have my nails painted red and black.

personality: im pretty reserved at first, but once i get close to someone im very physically affectionate and jokingly flirtatious. im not very good at comforting people, but i am a good listener, and i always try to be as compassionate as possible. when im presented with a problem, i solve it from the most objective perspective i can. i sometimes overwork myself either as a way of incidental self harm or because i get really determined to accomplish/finish something, and it leads to me not eating/drinking water/sleeping enough, but i make up for it by taking a few days to indulge. oh and i am a very sarcastic little shit.

likes: cats. i love cats. i also like nature a lot. i like anime/comics/webtoons, i love music, and i like learning about practically anything. have a niche interest? rant to me about it. ill take notes and try to remember it as much as possible because understanding more about this endless universe is something ill never turn down. as a result i like museums/zoos/art exhibitions a lot because i can read about new things

dislikes: loud things (excluding the fact that i blast music almost constantly), places with too many people, having to repeat myself...

hobbies: i love drawing my favorite people/places/characters, and painting. i enjoy photography a little. i play violin, piano, drums, and a little bit of guitar, and i like doing it even though i have little time for it. i like playing video games too (clearly, look at the fandom im requesting lol)

no extra info. hope this was enough:)

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! You put a really good amount of info. I hope you like your matchup!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Another over worker. Alhaitham knows he needs to take breaks and knows you need to take breaks as well. He struggles to remember to take regular breaks and feels he'd be hypocritical if he tells you to take regular breaks.

Also probably blasting music through his headphones constantly. No one has dared to ask him what he's listening to. It's a list of songs you've mentioned to him that you like.

Also enjoys listening to you play music as well. Alhaitham hasn't learnt how to play an instrument and isn't super interested in paying music himself but he thinks you're ability to play is incredible.

He enjoys talking to you about his projects. It helps him get his thoughts out when he gets stuck.

Listens very well. You'll never have to repeat yourself with this guy around.

Museum dates! Alhaitham likes looking at all the artefacts and exhibits. He's not a huge fan of art galleries but he'll tag along if you ask him to accompany you.

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Dan Heng is another attentive listener! He also enjoys talking about the things he's passionate about and loves that you listen to him with the same degree of attention.

Even more museum dates. Unlike Alhaitham though, Dan Heng would also enjoy accompanying you to art galleries and zoos. Anything that provides him with the ability to learn more is a good thing in his book.

Enjoys listening to music, especially when you're the one playing it. I see Dan Heng as someone who would be good at playing instruments like the violin.

Very good at reminding you to take breaks. Even if it's just a few minutes to walk the length of the Star Rail with him, he knows it's good for you.

If you're busily working on something and don't want to have a break and lose your concentration he'll let you keep working. But keep in mind that as soon as you finish what you're doing, he's forcing you to have a break and a snack.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #genshin impact #alhaitham #honkai star rail #dan heng

[spooky-ghostwriter]

Sentinels Stuff from 2021 and Beyond

Sentinels of the Multiverse has really taken over all of my hobbies...

In 2018, I finished a custom hero deck for Tsukiko. Next was Gold Dragon in 2019. Then Escarlata in 2020.

I kept intending to take breaks from Sentinels and work on other hobbies, but these have been so fun and rewarding that I’ve just kept making cards... without posting them to this blog. Until now.

The Alesia Circus

My first three decks were all heroes, but Sentinels of the Multiverse also has Villain decks and Environment decks. Instead of having a player control them, these decks act on their own.

Battles in Sentinels can take place anywhere from a generic superhero city to an intergalactic prison for supervillains to crazy time vortexes. Alesia Circus is one of the most important locations in my writing, and with Tsukiko already part of the game, I figured it was a perfect time to try my hand at an environment deck.

Dressed to Kill’s story focuses heavily on the performers and their acts, but to make the environment more interactive, I added a set of circus games that players can participate in, called Contests. 

Around the time I was finishing up Escarlata, the custom Sentinels community really started expanding, and in particular, creators started featuring each others’ characters in their own cards. I decided I’d use this opportunity to see just how many cameos I could include. Some were front and center, others were buried in the background. The answer, as it turned out, was twelve - there are twelve characters made by my friends among the art!

When a player fulfills a Contest’s condition, the card gets flipped facedown. The back of all cards from the Alesia Circus environment have a ticket on the back:

Tickets let you visit Circus shows and get a bonus in the game as the performer helps you out. If you can’t visit a Circus show, the villain of the game messes with it, and throws some penalty at you.

The Alesia Circus was a pretty frustrating deck to make, to be honest. The art took a really long time, and since the Shows deviate from the normal Sentinels card template, I had to do a lot of work by hand. BUT I love how it turned out.

Digital Implementation

Sentinels of the Multiverse has a digital version on Steam, and recently, the devs added workshop support. Luckily for me, I have a programming background. So I spent an inordinate amount of time coding each and every Sentinels card I’ve designed (around 80), and now all four of my decks are available for free on Steam. (Though Sentinels itself is around $10, or $1 if you can catch it on sale!)

If you’ve got the game, get Spooky Ghostwriter Comics here: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2436888590

The digital implementation was ALSO a lot of work but ALSO very rewarding. Heroes in the PC game have extra art beyond the cards - a few different poses depending on whose turn it is. I wanted to keep up the pattern for my heroes, which meant a lot more drawing. But considering how disappointed I am (now) with how I drew Gold Dragon’s character card, I enjoyed seeing how much I’ve improved since then:

Tsukiko Rework

Speaking of being disappointed with old work... the deck I posted for Tsukiko was not great. Since calling that deck complete, I’d learned a lot about art and how to design good Sentinels cards. 

Generally, I don’t like reworking things. I’d rather take the lessons I’ve learned and apply them to new things instead of making countless revisions to something I called done. But Tsukiko was rough, and it got to the point where even I didn’t like playing as her anymore. 

Luckily, in the grand scheme of things, most of her cards were fine, or at least good enough. There were only a couple absolutely dreadful cards. I won’t dwell too much on the card changes, since I know most people looking at this blog don’t play Sentinels. Instead, I’ll just show off one of the cards that got brand-new art. Because WOW, the original version of Escape Artist was bad:

1920s Cartoon Promos

Some time ago, I posted an old-timey cartoon version of Gold Dragon, saying how much I loved the rubberhose art style and wished I could do more with it. So I did more with it!

All of my heroes will or are going to have a variant character card in this style. Or in Gold Dragon’s case, two:

These are in the digital game too! (Other than Tsukiko’s which is still in the playtesting phase)

Silhouette

And finally, my current art project is yet another Sentinels deck. I hope to have it finished sometime this year. Her name is Silhouette, and she’s an edgy goth vampire with some of the best art I’ve drawn yet:

With Silhouette, I’m switching from Flash/Photoshop to Clip Studio Paint. It’s a fantastic program and I wish I’d made the change sooner. But there are still a lot of things to figure out.

More on Silhouette later, when her deck is complete!

Wrapping Up

If you’ve read this far, thanks for indulging me! Sufficed to say, I’m still pretty fond of Sentinels and making content for it. Of all the nonsense I’ve spent my free time doing, this has been the most rewarding by far. Hopefully my creative energy keeps up!

#sentinels of the multiverse #my art #super duper long post #gold dragon #escarlata #tsukiko #dressed to kill

[jaskiersvalley]

Look I knew from things my friend reblogged that you have A Gift but now I'm following you and crying every time you post because it is ALWAYS top quality and I am but a poor little goblin with Feelings. You are my favorite and I love you. (also "oh what a hairy valley it is" is fucking hilarious I laugh every time I read it)

You are my new favourite and I love you too! Especially because you find “oh what a hairy valley it is” funny. As thanks, I hope you like a bit of a twist on the Witcher Wolf Pack and their Bard in a modern setting.

Street life was harsh but the wolves had learned how to play the game over the decades. Witchers had become nothing more than myths and they had died out. Or rather, they faded from visible existence and found ways to get with the times. But nobody really wanted grizzly, musclebound men with facial scars so the wolves of Kaer Morhen were left behind by society. It wasn’t like they could get paperwork and ID needed for work and rent, so they lived on the fringes, accepted the ‘help’ of a sorcerer. It wasn’t much better, living on the streets as wolves most idiots mistook for large dogs. But at least they could slink around relatively undisturbed. They could shift forms as they needed but most of the time, they remained four legged.

They had a whole system worked out, honourable as much as thieves could be. Because they needed to steal, needed food and money to survive. The back alley that they’d pulled blankets and cardboard boxes to had become home. But they couldn’t live off things they fished out of the dumpster all the time. It was how they ended up with a range of schemes and ploys.

Easiest was the sad, scared puppy game. It was one that Lambert excelled at, looking vulnerable. If he rolled in a puddle first, he could look exceptionally pitiful. His scars showed up the least too and, as the youngest, he often got the most response. Some days he would hang around outside a food shop and whimper at those going in. The more generous humans would emerge with their shopping plus a little something for him. When something was thrown his way, Lambert would snatch it out of the air and run, hide the stash until he could haul his trophies home to share.

More elaborate was the teamwork of Vesemir and Eskel. They didn’t pull it off often because it was much more dangerous for them both. At some traffic lights where cars were slowing down, Eskel would step in front of a car and get clipped. He’d perfected the art of just getting a glancing bruise on his shoulder but it sounded impressive enough. Once the car stopped, Vesemir, in his grizzled old glory, would fling himself in front of the car with a whimpering howl. That usually got everyone’s attention, the poor old dog, shaking and quivering on the floor. It was enough of a distraction for Eskel to shift to human form and dive into the car, pulling anything of value out. They had to be so careful, not taking anything from those who obviously were in need. That was on top of the constant worry that Eskel could actually get hurt or Vesemir would get carted off to the pound. But the few times they did it, they often got enough things to pawn or, once, a shopping bag full of party food.

Geralt was too bulky to look sad in front of a shop, he got chased with a broom more often than not. He also didn’t have Eskel’s light fingers to steal from cars or Vesemir’s gravitas to look convincingly injured. What he could do though was pickpocket and steal bags. It was so easy to walk pad through a square, a stray dog nobody paid attention to. A snout in a passing pocket resulted in a mouthful of wallet. And the times someone put a bag down to look at their phone or, rarely, to pet him, he could pick up the bag and trot off without much fuss. The other thing Geralt did was trail buskers. He learned about them, knew those who were busking for fun and those who needed the coins tossed at them. Those who did it for a hobby, Geralt had no qualms about ambling up to and snuffling their things. It usually earned him a pat on the head and a laugh. It meant he could curl up with whoever it was playing and, at the end of their stint, Geralt could snuffled a little more under the pretence of curiosity. Nobody ever thought to look in his mouth to find the coins they could have sworn were there.

It was a great ploy until a new busker turned up. Geralt couldn’t get a read on him. The man looked and acted like a peacock but he smelled tired and hurting. Before Geralt could even approach him to investigate, the man was setting his instrument to the side and reaching out in invitation for Geralt to join him.

“You might need a bit of rest.” The man said and pulled a water bottle from his pack. Shoving his handwritten sign of gratitude from the plastic container, it was filled up with water instead. “It’s a warm day, I doubt there are puddles around for you.”

It turned out, the man chattered a lot when he wasn’t playing. He was called Jaskier, had no real family to speak of and loved singing. There was an art to speaking a lot without saying much and Geralt knew Jaskier was a master. In the evening, when Jaskier packed up, Geralt couldn’t bring himself to take any of his coin.

“If you’re ever in the area, you’ll always have a blanket to rest on with me,” Jaskier promised and waved to Geralt. It was only then that Geralt realised that not once did Jaskier touch him.

Once a week, Geralt sought Jaskier out. It was oddly relaxing and on his third visit, Geralt found he had actually fallen into a deep sleep, trusting this stranger to keep him protected. Of course, the others teased him about it relentlessly. Late at night when they were all sprawled in their alley with a rare treat of beer Eskel had managed to snag, they laughed about Geralt’s crush.

“Fine. You go see if you can do better,” he grumbled.

From then on, the wolves took turns and each came back suitably cowed. Eskel had taken the first chance to go see Jaskier for himself. He’d come back subdued and quiet. “He told be about his White Wolf,” he’d said. “How I must be his brother because I’m just as handsome.”

There was nothing handsome about Eskel, or so he thought. His scarring in wolf and human form had his lip pulled up and, as a wolf, he looked like he was continually snarling, teeth bared.

“He wasn’t scared,” Eskel whispered in wonder.

Unable to believe it all, Lambert went to see Jaskier next. He only came back late at night and refused to say anything. It was only later the next night that he whispered to Eskel that he’d tried to goad Jaskier into hurting him, to prove a point. And he got belly rubs instead. Which were a lot nicer than anything Lambert had experienced in a long time, so he had to slink off and think for a few hours before returning home.

Vesemir still had his doubts. His three pups might have been taken in by the singing stranger but he was suspicious. Determined to get to the bottom of their infatuation, Vesemir set out to spy on Jaskier. It didn’t go as well as planned because he was spotted and beckoned over. Even worse, there were freshly bought treats in Jaskier’s pocket, coming out to appease him.

“You look like you could be their father,” Jaskier prattled, handing over another treat. “The same noble, ancient look they’ve got. Living on the streets is no easy feat and I imagine you’ve done it your whole lives. But your pack seem wonderful. You ought to be proud of your boys.”

Vesemir would have thought it all some great, cunning plan were it not for the fact that he could smell the street on Jaskier. Obviously he’d been sleeping in hostels or the like until recently. And yet there he was with the best treats he could afford for a bunch of stray dogs who he knew to be wolves.

From then on, Jaskier enjoyed the company of a wolf beside him for four of the seven days of the week. Geralt slept on the blanket, running and eating in his sleep. By contrast, Lambert was needy, demanding attention and petting, constantly by Jaskier’s feet. Eskel liked to lie calmly and watch, sometimes he’d howl along and get laughs. Occasionally trotting off and coming back with a snack or a drink for them, clutched carefully in his mouth. The first time he presented Jaskier with a sandwich, he man had looked both scandalised and then blissed out as he bit into it like he was starving. Vesemir was by far the calmest, he watched Jaskier rather than the crowds around them, keeping track of how things changed.

“He sleeps on the streets,” he told his pups one night. “I worry for him.”

They couldn’t find Jaskier though, it was a large city and there were a lot of places to hide. By pure luck, they were settling down into a tangle of limbs, tails and fur when they heard voices.

“Just hand it over and you’ll live.” A menacing voice growled.

“I can’t give you that. It’s how I make what little money I have. I’ve already offered you everything I can!” That was definitely Jaskier.

“Along these parts, our word is law. You’ve not paid your dues and now we’re raising fees.”

There was the soft thump of someone being struck and the smell of blood. The wolves were up on their feet as one, quietly padding closer to investigate. Jaskier was on his knees, guitar behind him along with his usual pack which looked like it had been rifled through already. Opposite him were three men, one of them with a nail studded baseball bat.

“I think you need to be taught a lesson,” the man snarled and raised the bat. It arced through the air and there was the sound of it striking flesh and a sharp whine of a wolf in pain rang through the alley.

“What the fuck?”

Geralt was laid flat on the floor and panting, white fur staining red. The other three wolves were snapping and growling at the attackers while Jaskier knelt and watched in awe. Lambert jumped first, jaw latching around the wrist holding the bat and shaking his head.

In two minutes, the attackers were running, bleeding and cursing and the alley was silent save for the panting of the wolves. Eskel and Vesemir shared a look as they approached Geralt. They shifted, ignoring the gasp of surprise from Jaskier.

“You need to shift, pup,” Vesemir stroked over Geralt’s head. “Let us get a better look.”

It took a moment longer but Geralt was human once again and wheezing.

“Fuck,” he gasped, hands clenched in fists.

“Let them sort it,” Lambert murmured from just behind Jaskier, making him jump. “It’ll be okay. Geralt’s just a drama queen.”

“A drama queen with broken ribs,” Eskel grumbled. “At least the nails didn’t puncture his lung.”

In all of that, Jaskier was quiet and surprisingly unafraid. Puzzled, most definitely but he didn’t panic or run.

“Will he be okay?” he asked, soft and worried.

“He’s a strong one, survived a lot worse.” The reassurance from Vesemir lifted a little of the tension. “Why aren’t you running and screaming?”

“Why should I? You saved my life and you’re the wolves I’ve known for weeks now. It’s nice that you can talk back now.”

That seemed to settle matters somehow. And the wolves got a fourth act in their repertoire. Now, Jaskier sang and busked with the protection of a wolf by his side at all times. And, when he returned back to the alley, he always shared his bounty with the others.

“And when I get famous, you’re all coming with me. We’ll tour the world together,” he promised each night from the centre of the wolf pile. It usually earned at least one tail thump or a chuffed out wolf-y laugh. The wolves might have indulged him in such fantasies but they were the ones who had to eat their words. A talent scout did indeed pick Jaskier up. Along with his four wolves who became his bodyguards.

Part 2 here.

#geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #eskel #lambert #vesemir #witcher wolf pack #hurt/comfort #modern au #long post #tldr: the witcher wolf pack adopts busker jaskier #cw: mild injury #shifter au

[surveysonfleek]

1598.

Be honest with yourself, are you proud of your actions? for the most part.. i guess so Have you ever had an operation? no Favorite sit-down restaurant? korean bbq. i dont even care where, ive never been to a shit kbbq place What have you eaten today? spam and eggs lol Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? ermmm... probably my family

If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? a tiny dot that would just replicate a mole What is something you find romantic? random small gifts. even if its as simple as my favourite chocolate bar What is your style? comfortable and loose lol If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? id be on a cruise somewhere tropical. no one on the boat would have covid either What is the best movie you have ever seen? hmm, i honestly wouldnt be able to name one What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? hes smart and funny! What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? anything health, race, religion related. theres much more but u get the gist How long was your longest relationship? 12 years and counting... Why did your last relationship end? - Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship? a castle. its been a dream of mine to even visit one Have you ever felt unimportant in someone’s life? yes, ofc Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? yes haha. its pretty much the only stuffed toy ive kept over the years Did you have any unread texts this morning? nah What are your initials? - What is your definition of “having sex”? for me personally (like happening to me), its penile penetration. everyone has different opinions of course Who was the last person you were “in a relationship with” on Facebook (including anyone you may have put “in a relationship with” for a joke)? my fiance Do you think a relationship with a 16-year-old girl and a 35-year-old man would work out? Do you think age differences like that (when they’re under 18) should be legal? just no Were you ever “the other man/woman”? How did it turn out? How do you feel about it today? nope! What do you think of open relationships? If your partner suggested it, what would you say? i would say no. if they werent happy with my decision, we’d have bigger problems at hand Would you ever date out of your race? yes Who were you with yesterday? my family Have you ever had a reptile for a pet? no What time do you have to get up tomorrow? 6:45am :( Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? yes How long have you been with your boyfriend/girlfriend? 12 years What kinds of alcohol do you like? my go-to is bourbon and coke Did you have a swing set when you were a kid? yes, i still remember it like yesterday haha Can you do the alphabet in sign language? nope Is the person you last kissed yours? yes Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating? easily! Have you ever been so hurt that you wanted to stop feeling completely? no. feeling emotionally hurt is sometime worse than being physically hurt but id rather go through it than feel nothing State you most want to visit? hmmm, ive visited most states in aus What is a book that you really want to read? nothing right now What brand was the last lotion that you used? nivea What color is your underwear? black What was the last type of cookie that you ate? it was called a dream cookie lol. it was average  If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? on a vacation somewhere What genre was the last song you listened to? rnb What sort of surveys catch your interest and which ones bore you? i hate really really long surveys, anything above 50 questions is too much for me. i kinda like themed surveys too What books do you usually enjoy reading and which do you not enjoy? tbh i like easy reads. the past few books ive read had gone girl vibes which i like. im not a deep reader lol What is something that you really want to try, whether it’s a hobby, food, etc.? id love to try candle making only coz i already spend way too much money What websites do you frequent most often? youtube, netflix The last person you found attractive — what did they look like? my fiance If you could go back in time, would you prefer to go forward or backward? haha, it says back in time.. Post a link to the last video you watched online. nah Is there anything bothering you at the moment? work What color was the last shirt you wore? black What sort of things do you like to post or look at on Tumblr? i dont use my other tumblr anymore. i only ever use it to post surveys now What scent was the last candle you burned? passionfruit and papaya What type of people are you usually attracted to? easygoing ones Do you collect anything? If so, what? plants bahaha When you look to your left, what is the first thing you see? What about the right? my desk on my left, the winow on my right What room are you currently in? What color are the walls/floor? my bedroom. the walls are turquoise and grey What color is the last blanket you used? pink What do you smell like right now? nothing, i have a blocked nose coz of hayfever :( If it was possible to celebrate a holiday everyday, which would you choose? i wouldnt choose one If you could compare yourself to a celebrity or character, who would it be? none lol Which male celebrities do you find attractive? i find anthony ramos attractive but only as the character he dresses as in ‘shes gotta have it’ Which female celebrities do you find attractive? riri If you could marry one of your favorite celebrities and have a happy relationship until the end of your days, who would it be? i wouldnt, happy with my fiance What song are you listening to at the moment? nothing What is currently on your desk? my computer, makeup, candles and skincare What brand is your computer? mac What are the last things you ate and drank? spam and eggs and water How often do you take naps and how long do they usually last? about 30 mins Which season do you wish lasted all year? autumn! What is the last part of your body that itched? my back Is there anything that you should be doing right now? nope Is there anything you’re craving right now? bubble tea Do you prefer regular or flavored coffee? What about regular or flavored creamer? flavoured for sure. i also love flavoured creamer but they dont sell it here How do you take your tea? earl grey, a tsp sugar and dash of milk

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[veralovemail]

Hi! I would love myself a matchup if it's ok 👉👈

I'm female and pan, I'd prefer one of the males tho, Survivors please!

So uhhhh I differ in my personality a lot depending on the situation! I'm more of a loner around strangers IRL— shy, quiet, I don't like interacting and prefer to stay by the sidelines since being in the middle makes me uncomfy.

I try to be as polite as I can, even keeping in my opinions and pain a lot as to not Hurt anyone. I also tend to blame myself a lot for bad situations I'm a part in unless I know I absolutely didn't do anything!

Also I'm quite hot headed and have a bad temper, though I'm working on it! I have quite the problem with guilt and it comes to me fairly quickly when I do something bad.

Ah yeah I'm really forgetful and also really impatient KNRKS

Now- online!!

I'm a lot more open and chaotic. I like to tease my friends and jokingly make fun of them, etc. I try and stop when they tell me to, but I might understand it as them just joking too if they write it that way in my eyes-

I try to look on the positive side for them and their situations and am always willing to make someone happy even without words since it makes me happy too. I'd say I'm caring to a fault- I don't let loose until they finally do something healthy that they've been avoiding and I do get rather angry if I'm not taken seriously with that, causing me to maybe lash out at someone unwillingly,,- and then guilt pops in like "hi there 😍" KDHDJDJ

Anyway,

I encourage anyone to vent, though I'm not the best at giving advice. I'm more of a person who likes to listen and give support if they need it. Oh yeah- my attention span is REALLY short (as short as me good ol' 5'1 me aNENSJJSJD) so I get distracted pretty easily and procrastinate then.

As for hobbies: I love to draw! (As you might know-)Music is my life (especially Jazz) and video games are, too. Though mostly singleplayer Games since I only really like multiplayer with friends-

What else can I write..

Maybe like- I'm an ISFP-T And I think it was 5w6 that I was given by another test

I also got Philophobia, the fear of falling in love because of bad experiences but I'm tryna work on it!!

I guess I can also write about my appearance? I've got short, curly but chaotic black hair that's p much swept to the side- I'm definitely not that skinny lmao- and as I've said before, I'm 5'1! I usually wear casual clothes (hoodies, e.g!! They're so comfy...) I also got brown eyes and glasses!

I think that should be it.. ah yeah! In your introduction, you should prolly add your ID for others to add you because name search doesn't work! :0

Ok that's really it now- take your time, don't rush yourself and stay safe and hydrated!! 💕💕 Hope your blog takes off!

Sorry for my English by the way- I'm German so I might've messed up on a few things!

OH MY LORD I DID NOT KNOW THAT I HAD TO PUT IN MY ID... oml... thank u for telling me that. and don't worry about it, i can see how it'd be difficult (i actually studied german for my gcses :], it was very fun) but anyways! tysm for sending in btw!! i loved writing this, i hope u enjoy - mod vera ♡

i match you with ... naib subedar!

he kinda takes on to your quiet personality, unlike some of the other people around the manor. it's relaxing to be around somebody who doesn't talk much.

you two most likely met when robbie came over to the survivors' side of the mansion, jokingly demanding sweets... but it most likely sounded authentic. and oh god, is that an axe-

you two accidentally locked eyes but you both had a " ah shit, here we go again " face. it just kinda went from there.

at first, he's a tough nut to crack, but if you try hard enough, within a month or so you gain his trust and he .. deems you a friend?

you both kinda start falling for eachother after a period of time, but naib is great at hiding it BUT SIKE, so are you! it's like a game of who can pine for the other in the most subtle way possible.

however, if you tell him about your own troubles with falling in love, he may just open up a little too about his own troubles.

it's takes a while for you two to build a relationship, but eventually (after a lot of rescues, late night hangouts and just being near eachother) you make it!

when he learns about your more chaotic side, naib tries to keep up with you as best he can, he may just need a little tug to do so.

he loves your smile, especially the one you have when you're talking about your passions.

he also tries to help with your temper, but he's just as bad as you are.

however, he's there whenever you have a bad day - he can almost instantly tell, even if you try keep it to yourself. it could be the way you look at him, try to smile or talk, he does notice the change in your aura.

since your shorter than him, he likes holding you. it makes him feel like he's just protecting you from anything and anything, especially on one of your bad days.

he likes your optimism, looking on the good side of every situation. he once saw you trying to comfort robbie when he started crying about not finding any sweets around and you told him "look on a brightside robbie! now we know for next time to stash some away for you before we eat it all!" AND OH GOD, IS THAT AN AXE?

naib gets frequent nightmares about his time being a hired merc, so sometimes you may get woken up at 3 am because he's a bit distressed and needs a bit of comfort.

other times, he just finds holding you while you're fast asleep enough to put him back in a coma for the next 2 hours.

naib also encourages you to talk to him about stuff. whether it be what made you mad, how much of a bitch vera can be, ect. he's there for you and that man is never gonna let you carry your burdens alone.

saying that, you also have to remind him that he can't carry his own burdens sometimes and when you encourage him to talk to you about what's upsetting him, he'll most likely tell, depending on how bad it is.

he also grounds you a lot!! if you tell him about your forgetfulness, he's most likely going to try and remind you.

" hey, [ name ], you did bring [ item ] into the match, right? "

" um... "

" goddamnit [ name ], i thought i reminded you "

naib takes it upon himself to rescue you, or keep you within his general vicinity if you're in a match with him. he does know you can kite very well though! he just wants you near him for a bit of reassurance.

he can be mean sometimes, but he means it in the most endearing way possible since most of it is sarcasm.

you two kinda have " stab as a warning " vibes so nobody really opposes the two of you. even norton. not even freddy dares to oppose you because the last time he did, aesop almost had to prepare his equipment to embalm the poor fella.

when you lash out at someone, naib is there almost immediately to take you away to calm down and comfort you when your guilt kicks the door down and goes " Hey girlie! Hold still 😎 "

sometimes you have to do the same for him because you both have a tendency to lash out.. but.. never at eachother? you two kinda agree on the same things, there isn't much to exactly disagree on.

please draw him!! watch him while he's training in the garden and draw him, or just a few silly doodles of him.

he likes looking at your drawings, it kinds boosts his ego knowing that he's worthy enough to be drawn.

if he finds out that you like music, he'll tell you about nepalese music, or at least what he knew of it - if you both get engrossed in it, he may try and get you some records to play.

teach him how to dance, if you can. it'd make listening to music together way more fun.

he's very content with you!! he likes kissing you out of nowhere, too. you could just be chilling and naib would come up to you, turn you around and give you a smooch outta nowhere. but only in private.

i feel like neither of you would be big on pda, you just stick to holding hands around the manor.

if this were in a modern setting, you two could probably play a game like phasmaphobia together just for funsies.

all in all, your relationship with naib is mutually beneficial and robbie has learned to never ask for sweets again.

i hope you enjoy this <3 it's my first time writing naib too so i apologise if it's not very good </3

#idv x reader #idv #identity v #idv imagines #idv writing #naib subedar #idv mercenary #identity v mercenary #idv naib #matchup

[love-killed-the-superstar]

i havent been drawing or writing pokemon stuff for ages and im currently too busy to make something new in time for drew appreciation day so i thought id post some wip respectshipping stuff under the cut that i dont THINK ive posted before?? if i have im sorry, im a bit dry on drew content rn!!

for context the scenes are taken from a sequel to my respect oneshot, sparks, set during a pride festival!

Ash slipped his hand into Drew's, and Drew glanced at him rigidly.

“What are you doing?” he asked. He didn't need to look to know that May and Brock had noticed, and were giving each other knowing smiles.

“Holding your hand?” Ash said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I know that. Why?”

Ash furrowed his brow. “Why am I holding your hand? We're... well, together, Drew.” It felt weird to say it out loud, and his frown melted into an elated smile. “We're boyfriends. And this is a festival celebrating the kind of relationship we have. Isn't this the best time to do it?”

Drew's cheeks began to burn under the unspoken pressure. Of course, he liked to touch Ash in private, hold his hands and cup his cheeks and kiss him, but public displays of affection had never been his thing. Giving out roses was different, of course – it was part of the charming persona he put on. He wasn't ashamed of his sexuality, and he certainly wasn't ashamed of Ash; but there was a time and a place for physical affection, and in the middle of a crowded street wasn't what he considered an opportune moment.

“We... we don't do this out in the open, Ash,” he reasoned. Ash shrugged.

“If you're sure.”

Ash dropped his hand, and at first Drew felt relief. But just moments later, he realised how cold his hand suddenly felt without the familiar warmth of Ash's.

With a huff, he grabbed it back.

“Jerk.”

...

“I'll only enter this contest if you enter the battle tournament.”

“Like hell. I don't get my kicks from raw power battles, sorry.”

“And I don't get my kicks from showing off how pretty my pokemon can be, but I'm willing to compromise. This is like, a couple activity. You know, so we can bond.”

“You know contests are about so much more than beauty, Ash. For the record, they say it's healthy for couples to not do everything together.”

“And we don't! We hardly see each other when we're travelling, so this'll be a special occasion!”

Ash and Drew were bickering again, as usual, though Brock had to admit it was far more entertaining seeing them argue over trivial matters such as 'couple activities' than having to watch them stew in their own feelings for the past few years. Getting to see them comfortable around each other was refreshing.

“Look, battles aren't romantic – contests aren't romantic! It's about you and your pokemon, not about you and your pokemon and your annoying boyfriend and his pokemon.”

“But I already told my mom we'd be battling together! She's recording it!”

“Your mother needs a new hobby that doesn't involve snooping on our relationship at any given moment,” Drew quipped, but he seemed a little less defensive at that. “She's really gonna be watching us?”

Ash patted his shoulder. “I told you she's trying to be supportive. She was excited when I mentioned the festival to her, actually. She asked me to pick her up a souvenir, like a badge or a wristband or something? And she was all, 'tell Drew I said hi!' so... yeah, she said hi.”

“And you're only mentioning this now.” Drew threw up his hands in exasperation. “Didn't it cross your mind to tell me earlier?”

“That she said hi?” Ash quirked an eyebrow. “My bad? Look, she asked me to call her tonight. If you want, I'll let you listen in.”

Drew clasped his hands together. “Maybe I'll... say hi back,” he said, licking his lower lip nervously. Ash grinned.

“You know, I think she'd like that.”

“This is heart-warming and all,” Brock smirked, finishing the last of his coffee, “but if you guys don't hurry up and compromise, you'll run out of time to sign up.”

And with that, their bickering was back to square one.

...

Delia's face appeared on the screen and she smiled warmly.

“Well hello there, Ash! Are you enjoying the festival so far?”

“Oh yeah! It's amazing. I never knew how big Sinnoh's gay community was until now.”

“Well, I'm glad you're having a good time. You're participating in the tag team battle tournament tomorrow, right?”

Ash's face fell slightly.

“I don't know. I was meant to be taking part with Drew, but he isn't so big on battling, so we haven't signed up yet.”

“Well, I'm sure you'll work it out,” Delia said with a sympathetic smile. “And how is Drew doing? Did you tell him I said hello?”

Ash's eyes lit up.

“Yeah, he's doing great! Actually... he talked about saying hi back. If you wanted to speak to him.”

Delia blinked in surprise.

“Oh, he wanted to talk to me?”

Ash smiled consiprationally.

“He'll never admit it to me but he really wants to make a good impression on you, Mom.”

Her cheeks were pink with pride and she chuckled lightly.

“Very well, hand him over.”

Unsurprisingly, Drew stepped out from just beyond view of the camera – Delia realised he was listening in the entire time, but decided to keep this revelation to herself for the time being.

“Why hello there, Drew. I suppose this is the first time we've talked since you two made the announcement.”

He nodded sheepishly.

“Yeah. Um, Ash and I don't travel together often. We parted ways after the visit, so... yeah. You're looking well, ma'am.”

“Oh please, call me Delia,” she said with a dismissive wave, then smiled. “I'm so excited to see the two of you compete in the tag battle tournament tomorrow!”

If Drew had been on the fence about it prior, he certainly wasn't anymore.

“Yes! Uh, we're looking forward to it, aren't we, Ash?”

Ash, looking both flabbergasted at the turn of events and also ecstatic at the news, nodded hastily.

“Yep! That's right, and the day after we're entering the pride contest! Since we're trainer and coordinator, we thought we'd do both!”

Ash grinned at his mother (mouthing how did you do that?? towards her) and she gave him a knowing wink in return.

“How wonderful! I've heard your coordinator skills are marvellous, Drew! I'm looking forward to it. It's a shame I couldn't be there in person.”

“Not sure this is your kind of scene, Mom,” Ash said with a laugh. “But it's been great! I got you a wristband, it's rainbow like a pride flag!”

“How sweet! Did you pick one up for Mimey too?”

Ash beamed and fished a pair of wristbands from his pocket.

“You know I did! Nothing but the best for you guys!”

“Mimey's been so excited for you too, dear. We'll wear them with pride!” She giggled at her own joke, and then clasped her hands together.

“By the way, you two, I was wondering how you would feel about the three of us sitting down for a meal in Pallet Town after the festival.” Her gaze flickered between the two of them. “You know, so that Drew and I can get to know each other better.”

Ash found the scar on the end of his ring finger suddenly very interesting to stare at.

“I don't know, Mom. I mean... maybe the timing isn't-”

“Sure, Mrs – uh, Delia.”

Ash glanced up in surprise at Drew, whose facial expression didn't give away his nerves like his shaking hands did, carefully out of Delia's view.

“Drew, you mean it?”

“Of course.” He offered Ash a quick smile. “Delia, I look forward to visiting again.”

“Wonderful!” Delia clapped her hands together and beamed. “Well, boys, I have to be going, but I'll be taping the matches! Good luck, both of you!”

The moment the call ended, Drew trudged back up to the rooms and headed over to his bed, flopping down rather ungracefully face first. Ash perched on the end of his own bed.

“Your mom is nice,” Drew said after a while, face emerging from his pillow. Ash chewed his lower lip.

“She means well, she really does want you to know each other now we're dating, but... we don't have to do this dinner if you're not ready for it.”

Drew opened his eyes to peer at Ash incredulously.

“What? No. I didn't just agree to it because your mom was giving me the same look you give me when you want something. I'm ready for this, you know? I want your mother to like me. I want to know the person who helped make you who you are.”

He took a deep breath.

“May finding out about us... it opened my eyes. For years I worried about what people would think of me if they knew. Then I realised, the world isn't one big contest. When it comes to who you are, the only one whose judgement matters is you.”

“Drew...”

“You mean a lot to me, Ash. I want to be a part of your world, and I want to introduce you to mine.”

“You sap.” Ash moved over to Drew's bed and rested his head against Drew's shoulder. “I'd really like that, though. I know our journey has been pretty rocky, but I just love being around you. And now we can be open about it, I've gotten so excited.”

Drew pressed a kiss to his forehead, and grinned.

“Now who's the sap?”

#drew appreciation day #respectshipping

[words-writ-in-starlight]

I'm a little late to the party but for the ask meme: Danny Phantom 5, 13, 14, 18, 20 + Trans!Danny headcanons. I know that wasn't on the list but I have a feeling you'll do it for me anyway ;)

MY NEWEST BOY.  For this ask meme!  Also thisgot long so I made a separate post about trans Danny because I care about it alot byeeeeee.

5)  Guilty pleasures

Barring times where he’s being, A, imprisoned, or, B, hunted forfun and profit, Danny actually—really likes the Ghost Zone.  It’s soothing in a way that he’s pretty sureis not quite right, in a way that Sam and Tucker and Jazz do not seem toagree with, but he likes it there.  Theslow, billowing curls of green drift through the air like nebulae, currents of energyrather than wind that he could drift on like thick water if he wanted, dottedwith doors and islands that orbit whatever passes for gravity wells in a skyscapeof ectoplasm.  Almost every touchstone inthe Ghost Zone moves, although most have a predictable pattern—about once everyten months, Danny tries not to use the Fenton portal if he can avoid it, onaccount of how it comes out practically on top of Walker’s prison—and learningthe rhythms of it is sort of like a hobby, at this point.  Danny doesn’t have a ton of time to kill, buthe’s figured out that, as long as he’s in ghost form, he can go for a longtime without feeling hungry or thirsty or tired, in the Ghost Zone, so onetime he told Jazz he was going to try his hand at cartography and spent theentirety of his parents’ five day out-of-state conference coasting on ectoplasmand trying to plot the place.  It cameout looking kind of like a star map, full of arrows trying to indicate movementdirection and a lot of scribbled notes like Pretty sure Clockwork moved thisand AVOID and Possibly Vlad’s portal, maybe close this.  

Danny doesn’t talk about it much, because the Ghost Zone makes hisfriends, his family, jittery.  He’s prettysure they’re worried he’ll decide not to come back some day.

13) What gets them flustered

One time a reporter manages to get a camera intoDanny’s face before he can book it after a fight, and she’s smart enough toalready be asking her first question before he realizes what was happening.

She’s also smart enough to start her first questionwith “Excuse me, Inviso-bill–”

“It’s Phantom,” he snaps,looking around in annoyance, and the reporter smothers a triumphant smirk.

“Yes, Phantom.  What made you become a hero,Phantom?”

Phantom just hangs there in the air for a moment, gapingat her, and then squeaks, “Excuse me?”

“You’re a ghost,” the reporter says, keeping aprofessionally straight face and a neutral, friendly tone.  “Whatmade you decide to be a hero?”

“I–didn’t?”  Phantom scratches a hand backthrough his hair, and the reporter silently thanks whatever quirk of ghostlyfunction is bringing a green glow like a blush to his cheeks and throat andears.  She’s going to lock down a raise with this interview, even if heflies off right this second–the first person to interview Amity Park’s ownsuperhero.  And he’s blushing.  “I’mjust keeping things under control, you know?”

The reporter grins.  “Well,” she says withfalse nonchalance, “would you mind answering a few questions?”

“Uh,” Phantom says.  “I have to–go.”

He turns invisible and makes a break for it,and the reporter’s fifty-second clip of a conversation runs on the local newsfive times in the next seven hours.  She gets a reputation for being ableto snag the neighborhood super for a few seconds, sometimes even multipleminutes.  She discovers real quick thathe’ll blush pretty reliably the second she drops the H word.

14) Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Danny works hard to seem helpless at school.  It kind of makes him crawl the walls, but he workshard, okay?  He lets himself getpushed around, he occasionally gets punched in the face, he does his best toconceal it when a year or two of ghost hunting as a full time job starts toshow in his human form, he spends a lot of time and energy projecting a façade oflocal hopeless wallflower.  He can’thelp seeming like a delinquent, given that he’s been living the C-average lifestyleby the skin of his teeth and misses about three class periods on a good week,but at least he can seem like a delinquent who would never, ever be a candidatefor competence.  He’s protecting a secretidentity out here.  Official Team PhantomPolicy, much as everyone might hate it, is that no one intervenes with Danny’scharade.  It gives Tucker hives and Samhas a hit list of bullies, but Danny’s always quick to smile off their concernand get on with his life.  He has ahealing factor and it’s been years since Dash was actually concerning tohim except as a potential stalker, Danny can stand to bite his tongue and take it.

Aaaaaaand then when he’s sixteen, Dash punchesTucker, instead.  Over some pettynothing, something that Tucker doesn’t even remember afterward—refusing to makea fake ID for him?  Laughing at Dash forfumbling a catch at the game on Saturday? Joking about how Dash’s grades were even worse than Danny’s?  It could’ve been anything.  It didn’t really even register with Tucker assomething worth getting punched over, whatever it was, but he guesses thatbullies can have bad days too.

So Tucker says whatever he says, and Dash whipsaround and sucker punches him, a swift hidden jab that only someone alreadywatching would see.  And then–

And then Danny dislocates Dash’s shoulder.  It’s not on purpose and it’s not subtle.  Tucker doesn’t really remember what happened—hewas a little busy gasping for air. Mostly he just remembers the crash of someone being slammed into a locker,and Danny’s voice, deep and un-Danny-like, snarling You don’t touch them,and a shout, a howl of pain and shock. By the time Tucker can stand upright, wheezing and clinging to Sam,every kid in the silent hallway is staring wide-eyed at Danny, skinny weakDanny Fenton who isn’t really so skinny and weak anymore.  Danny’s stepping back from Dash, who’sclutching at a shoulder that looks wrong under his letterman jacket, andDanny looks mildly horrified with himself, but he’s still standing betweenTucker and Dash.  

When the teachers show up, Danny goes quietly to theprincipal’s office, and gives a plain-spoken explanation of what happened—Dash punchedhis best friend, Danny slammed him into the wall, and somewhere in there hepopped Dash’s shoulder out of place.  He getssuspended for two weeks and detention for the next month, which he cooperateswith, and non-negotiable anger management counselling, which he mostly just…doesn’tattend.  Danny has decided that he doesn’tdo school counselling anymore, thanks.

After he comes back, Danny slips back into therhythm of things without any change in his behavior, but—it’s hard for everyoneto forget that they watched Dash’s favorite punching bag nearly put the king ofthe school through a wall.

Sam and Tucker enjoy a very peaceful remainder oftheir high school career.

18) Things they’ll never admit

Danny has not and will not talk to anyone about the accident withthe portal.  The actual events, yeah.  But he’s thought about it, and—they just don’tneed to know.  Sam already frettedherself blue over the Lichtenberg figure lacing up Phantom’s left arm to hisheart.  They don’t need to know how clearhis memory of being electrocuted is.

(Jazz watches Danny skirt around the Specter Deflector with abouta five foot radius of nervous respect, and she makes some educated guessesabout why, exactly, her brother doesn’t like being shocked.  But if he doesn’t want to talk about it, for once,she’s not going to wring it out of him.)

20) What Ifs/Alternate Timelines

I’m sure everyone and their cousin has done this but…I love Jazz and Danny’s relationship.  

So.

Jazz has been keeping an eye on herbrother for…ever.  This is partly becauseshe’s a worrier by nature and partly because their parents are both brilliantand affectionate and completely hopelessly scatterbrained.  Jack and Maddie are fine and all, but alsoJazz is frequently awestruck that she and Danny lived long enough to be able totake care of themselves.  Holy shitis she ever going to write a memoir.  TheChristmas I Re-killed the Turkey or something.  So when their parents are out for the day andshe wanders through the living room into the kitchen to see if the Nilla Wafershave been contaminated yet, and she realizes that she hasn’t seen Danny in fourhours, she starts looking around.  

Sam and Tucker’s bags are in hisbedroom, and all three of them have left their jackets by the door.  It’s a cool autumn, and Tucker complainsconstantly that he’s not built for the cold, he’s built for indoor rooms fullof computers, so they wouldn’t have gone out. The TV is off.  Danny’s room isempty.  It’s not dark enough yet forDanny to have dragged them up to the roof for stargazing.  

It’s about this point where Jazzstarts to feel like something is about to go horribly wrong.

She passes the door to the lab andhears Sam’s voice echo up the stairs, and then—

“Fine, fine,” Danny says from thebasement.  “It doesn’t even work.”

Jazz opens the door, already composinga lecture about not poking around in the lab (for Danny) and a lecture aboutremembering to lock the lab when they’re going to be out all day (for herparents), and starts down the stairs.

The crack-boom of the portalkicking on hits like a thunderclap, and then there’s a scream, someonewailing like they’re being killed.

Jazz never does remember how she gotdown the rest of the stairs, but she makes it just in time to see her brotherstumble out of the glowing green portal and fall straight through Sam’s armsand collapse into a pile of black-clad limbs and shocking white hair.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #ask meme #headcanon meme #starlight writes stuff #i have that adhd hyperfixation thing spinning up HARDCORE about danny phantom so...stay tuned #anyway some further thoughts about that au: it doesn't change a TON in the long term #but it DOES mean that danny has an ally in a) lying to his parents and b) handling vlad right out the gate #but what i'm really specifically interested in is jazz being there when danny comes out of the portal #she obviously cares about him a lot! i strongly headcanon that the fentons are a little...benignly neglectful #not because they don't care but because they're just REALLY not actually that equipped to focus on their kids #so jazz has had a huge hand in danny growing up rather than accidentally eating ectoplasm as a three-year-old and dying #so YEAH what i care about is that girl coming downstairs just in time to see her brother's ghost/dead body/indeterminate energy construct h #i think it takes jazz a second to look around the lab and do the mental math as sam and tucker scream danny's name #and then she FREAKS OUT #so that's some chaos to deal with while she flutters over a dizzy half-conscious danny and tries to call an ambulance #i...legit don't think danny admitted to his parents that he had a bad enough lab accident to go to the hospital #in any universe #i think he hedged and said he just got a little shock and felt fine and didn't need to see a doctor and managed to get out of it #but that's a longer story #anyway yeah jazz gets on the Fuck Vlad Train much faster in this one and there's angst about her worrying about danny #also in this timeline since jazz is in on everything from the jump she starts calling vlad 'vladimir' when he won't drop their full names #a queue we will keep and our honor someday avenge #lathori #asked and answered

[pinkykitten]

I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive? 

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head. 

2.  Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby.  4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts? 

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different. 

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again. 

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it. 

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer. 

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species  hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot. 

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible. 

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys. 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much. 

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho. 

3. What is the last song that inspired you? 

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making. 

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical. 

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered​, @ardentmuse​, @acciosnapes​, @lotsoffandomimagines​, @collecting-stories​ AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH 

#ask #@writing-with-melon #rambles #writing #tips on writing #unus annus #david dobrik #netflix #buzzfeed unsolved #peaky blinders oc #kobe bryant #mac miller #tony stark #peter parker #the greatest showman #tom thumb #troy bolton #zac efron

[melonkooky]

secret violinist [min yoongi]

requested

word count: 1960

genre: mainly fluff (or all fluff)

author’s note: firstly, i’m sorry this took so long. and that it ended up being so short. for some reason i had trouble writing it. and it didn’t help that i started writing this weeks ago and then am just finishing it now. i’m deeply sorry that this isn’t my best work. i’m trying to get back into writing. also, please ignore any mistakes or inconsistencies. 

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

perhaps it was the smoothness of when the hairs of the bow glides against the strings, producing the most beautiful melodies. perhaps it was the music itself, the notes and sounds that could be produced from this instrument. perhaps it was the feeling of the cool wood underneath your chin, or the feeling of its neck in your hand as your fingers pressed down on its strings.

the violin had also been a huge part of your life. it all began when your father and mother took your to a nearby thrift shop. it was more of a garage sale only without the garage. it was an old store that had been around for ages. they always carried a series of knickknacks and clothes and other necessities. it was there that you first came across a violin. 

the instrument was very old them. though you were too young to notice then, the wood had been very run down, and a string was broken. you had released your father’s hand to go towards it. you were fascinated by it. you had never seen it before. once you stood in front of it, out of curiosity, you gently plucked a string. a very dull sound emitted from it, because of an untuned string, and it scared you. but after the sound faded, you did it again, and again, until you were playing a random song that had no rhythm or melody. you were laughing, until your mother took your hand off it, scolding you for running off and then apologizing to the shop owner. she was an old lady, and she simply smiled, and told you that you could have it for free.

you father got it tuned somehow and from then on, years later, you played that violin. you played all throughout your school years, all the way to college. over those years, you’ve bought two new ones, have to upgrade sizes until they couldn’t get any bigger. now, you were in college, studying music and violin. you used the ones at school to practice because they were far newer and far more beautiful than your own. 

you spent a lot of your time after school practicing alone in the music room. no one ever came since typically people practiced in the mornings, that was also when classes were. you enjoyed being alone, all by yourself, just you and the violin.

you always played with a smile on your face, eyes concentrating on your fingers and then the music sheets in front of you.

tonight, however, your phone interrupted your practice session. you nearly didn’t hear its ring over the sound of mozart. you gently set down the instrument and its bow before picking your phone up. it was your boyfriend, min yoongi.

you cleared your throat, your cheeks already blushing after seeing his caller id. “hello?”

“babe, do you realize how late it is?” he asked.

his voice wavered slightly, as if he was trying to make the worryness in his tone. you don’t know why he tried to hide it, although it was slightly amusing.

your eyebrows furrowed. you tried to glance around, but there weren’t any windows in this particular music room, which you found unusual. so, you didn’t know. “no.” you replied hesitantly.

you heard him sigh. “where are you? i’ll come pick you up.”

“i’m still at school.”

“at school? what have you been doing all this time?”

“studying, doing homework, what else would i be doing?” you replied, laughing quietly. it was a lie, but it also made sense.

the truth was, you haven’t told yoongi about your hobby. you were insecure about it, which you knew was silly. but, just the thought of him knowing that you liked to play the violin and even wanted to possibly make a career from it, scared you. he was one of the greatest musicians, one of the most talented people in the world. you felt that you didn’t compare. 

“well, i’ll be there soon.”

“i’ll wait outside.” you said and then hung out.

you sighed. you needed a break anyway. your fingers were sore already for the extensive amount of time that you’ve spent playing. and you already had hard, red bumps on your fingers.

you packed up the violin and its bow and returned the case to its rightful spot in the instrument room. then you cleaned up your area, putting away the sheet music and the stand and stacking your chair, and then turned off the lights.

walking through the school, you noticed that it was dark. it was late, and that explained why yoongi had sounded worried. he didn’t know where you were. you were supposed to be home. you were reassured, though, that you weren’t alone. there were a few other students you passed by in the hallways or saw in the library and classrooms. they all seemed just as tired as you felt. they should go home too.

as you walked outside, you noticed yoongi’s car pull up to the curb. you hurried over to it, already shaking from the chilling coldness of december. your teeth were chattering as you slid into the passenger seat. “hey.” you greeted.

“hurry and close the door.” he said with a laugh, watching you drag your backpack over your lap while trying to close the door. “you’re letting all the warm air out.”

you made a face at him, you were trying your best after all. “i’m trying.”

finally, you and your backpack were in the car and the door was safely shut. yoongi drove away from your college, heading in the direction of the apartment that you and him both shared. 

----

the bell rang rather irritatingly in your ears. everyone began to pack up their instruments and head to their next class. you took your time, you didn’t want to go to your next class as it wasn’t anything related to music. it was just a required class.

as you were putting the violin away, your professor approached you. she had a smile on her face. “mrs. yung?” you asked, tugging your bag over your shoulder. you were confused to say the least.

she held out a piece of paper to you. it was information about an upcoming competition for all musicians. you gulped, hesitantly taking it from her. she stared at you in eagerness. “y/n,” she began, “i think you have a lot of potential. i can see great things in you, the way you play, how you sound, all of it. i think you could really get somewhere with your talent.”

your cheeks heated up. you fought against the wide grin on your face, causing your cheeks to ache. “really?” you asked, she nodded. “thank you!”

she nodded once more. “now, get to class. i expect to see you in here after school. you have a lot of preparing to do.” her eyes remained hard, but she was fighting a teasing smile on her face.

“of course, of course.”

you went about your day with the competition on your mind the entire time. what piece should you play? that was the real question.

as you walked home, since you had a few hours of free time before you would go to the music room, you tried to think. you didn’t know which song would be the one that would win you the contest. it had to be one that you could play. it couldn’t be too much of a challenge, unless you practiced it a lot. you couldn’t make any mistakes.

yoongi was home. he looked up from his laptop as he sat on the couch, something playing on the tv. you almost told him about the competition, and how excited you were. and how surprised and overwhelmed you felt that your teacher felt that you had the ability to do it. but then you remembered that he didn’t know about your hobby. you felt conflicted.

“hey, are you okay?” yoongi asked, sitting up in the couch.

you looked at him, almost forgetting that he had been there, watching you as you had a mental conflict and internal monologue in your head. “yeah. what are you watching?” you quickly changed the subject.

——

a week has gone by, and you felt like you had a million tons of stress on your shoulders. you had been practicing as much as you could, but it didn’t feel like a enough. it didn’t help that no matter which song you found and wanted to play, it never came out sounding beautiful, as a song typically would all the other times you’ve played.

suddenly, there was a click from the music room door. quickly you pulled out your phone and checked the time. you hadn’t realized how late it was. but still, why was someone here (other than you) so late? 

you turned just as someone entered the room, the door shutting softly behind them. it was none other than your boyfriend. he was holding a few papers in his hand.

your eyes widened. “y-yoongi?” you gasped. “what are you doing here?”

he chuckled or himself, pulling down the mask that was converting part of his face. it seemed to amuse him that he managed to catch you off guard. 

he walked up to you, a proud, cheeky smile on his face as he handed you a few sheets of music, ones that you had printed out a while ago, but thought that you had thrown them out. instead they must have just slipped or fallen from your bag. 

“so,” your boyfriend began. “you play the violin.”

your cheeks began to burn. you felt so small, being in a tiny room. but the happy glint in yoongi’s eyes reassured you. he looked...happy.

you nodded, taking the sheets of music out of his hands.

“why did you hide this from me?” he asked, looking at you. “we've only been dating for, what, seven months?”

you felt silly. “i’m sorry, yoongi. i didn’t mean to. but, it’s just playing the violin has always been something that i felt insecure about, i guess, especially since i started dating you. you’re like, the most talented musical genius ever.”

he laughed again. “i believe you mean mozart or beethoven.”

you laughed alongside him, feeling some weight lift off your shoulders. “so, is this how you figured it all out?” you asked him, gesturing to the sheet music in your hand.

yoongi shrugged. “that and how you’ve hardly been at home this past week.”

your cheeks flushed again. “sorry about that. my teacher recommended that i should play in a competition. it’s in a few weeks, but it’s been quite a challenge.”

yoongi stepped closer to you. “i wish you had just told me, but at least i know now. i can help you if you like.”

you quirked an eyebrow. “but you’re more of a pianist than anything.”

“but i know music. i can still help.” he defended cutely.

you grinned. “your help would be very much appreciated, min yoongi.”

you leaned forward a pressed a kiss on the tip of his nose. he blushed, before speaking, “but we’re not starting tonight. i need to sleep.”

you laughed, but felt tired yourself. so you quickly hurried back over and put away your bow and violin. you felt a lot lighter, relieved. yoongi was going to help you, he was the best help anyone could have. you idolized him as many others did, and you loved him. he was going to help you win this competition, which would be a large step into your future. as much as you were excited, you were also nervous, but you know yoongi was going to be by your side every step of the way.

#bts #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts min yoongi #bts suga #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #bts one shot #bts imagine #bts scenario #yoongi one shot #bts fluff #kpop

[fairycosmos]

hey i’m super sry 2 bother ive just been struggling and i know u understand how i feel..i’ve never been this bad in my life. i feel so stupid agonizing over smth like my physical appearance but my reflection genuinely makes me nauseous and throws me into a breakdown each time i see it. i cant help but feel like id much rather kill myself than spend the rest of my miserable existence being so revolting and grotesque. i hate being conventionally unattrctive- going out in public is just the worst:(

hey angellll i'm sorry 2 hear you're dealing w this rn. you're not bothering me either, it's cool. :(( also i got your other anon and don't worry, i didn't think you were calling me ugly djekdkekk,, but i mean i AM lol. and i can definitely relate to feeling viscerally disgusting in your own skin......you're not over exaggerating, i promise. you are always going to have the right to feel a certain way about something that seems to dictate so much of your life. countless women are going through it. i struggle with this every single day myself and i honestly don't have all of the answers of even half of them, unfortunately. and sometimes nothing can calm me down from the shame i feel about being who i am, but here are a few thoughts/ideas that soothe me and may soothe you if you allow them to:

1. our perception of beauty is always being manipulated. they keep moving the goal posts and narrowing the standards to get us to chase these totally false ideals, purely because it makes money. that's it. they plant the insecurity, market a fake 'solution', and profit. when we look in the mirror a life time of conditioning looks back at us and the only way to get around it is to be consistently aware of that fact. once you begin examining and questioning why certain features are seen as attractive and others aren't, you realize that none of it really holds any ground. it has very little to do with our bodies, and everything to do with controlling them. it's all the result of a never ending advertisment, and engaging with it for too long is certainly going to exhaust you and fuck up your self perception. the way you see yourself is not as accurate as you think.

2. we are all going to be old and therefore conventionally unattractive someday any way. a defining factor of this game they force us to play is that we will never win. due to circumstance, or time, or just cause we're human. seems like for women we're not allowed to reach a day over 40 without being ridiculed for it. but i really do believe that getting older affords a certain amount of freedom. when you get to that point in your life, you're going to know yourself so much more than you do at the moment. your perspective WILL be different. you're not going to be basing your worth off of how you look because you'll have lived what you're capable of, and it's so much more than.......appearing a certain way for a moment in time. curating a life worth living pales in comparison to looking flawless. and i know it seems like you can't do that because you feel so gross, but you can - insecurity doesn't have to stop you from putting your best foot forward. you are worthy because you're here. you deserve to live because you are alive. at the end of the day, you don't have to like yourself, but you have to like BEING yourself. you have to learn how to enjoy your hobbies and opportunities more than you hate your skin or your face or whatever.

3. your body is here to experience and relate with the tangible world. it is the vessel with which you are able to walk, talk, love, eat, play, and enjoy. it is very very unconcerned with being palatable to the masses. ultimately, that is not what you exist for. it always comes back to that, no matter how much the world demands a performance of you - you don't have to give one. even if the so called audience doesn't like it. it takes time to truly accept that, i still can't. but working on neutralising the self is key. if you can't love yourself, just acknowledge yourself. these are my hands that allow me to create. these are my eyes that allow me to see. they are doing their job. they are okay. they can't be right or wrong. they just are.

4. self destructive thoughts are always over dramatic, always temporary, and often entirely untrue. it's ok to experience those urges, but do your best to find the line between having them and acting on them. it's alright if it takes a while to learn how. as long as you're attempting. that's all that matters.

5. try to consciously practice healthier thinking patterns on a daily basis. realistically consider how you judge others and why you're being so harsh on yourself when you would never act like that towards anyone else. understand that your energy, your presence, the way you smile and comfort and work, what you can give and receive - all of that is more important to pretty much everyone, than how you look. after a while, especially when you love or care for someone, their appearance becomes a total secondary characteristic. nobody is worrying that much over these self perceived flaws you're so stuck on, as much as you are. if they do take the time to mull on you, it's more likely they think something simplistic such as: oh there's that girl who lent me her homework or who always wears cool shirts, or whatever. they're too busy stressing about themselves.

6. attempt to build your own confidence. this is another thing i can't grasp either but. basically. you are going to be you for the rest of your life and that is a fact. the only realize you think it's a bad thing at the moment is because that's how you've been taught to feel. but you can unlearn, you can let go of what hurts. and that starts with accepting what you can't change and controlling what you can - your self esteem, your internal narrative, how you take care of your body and mind. even engaging in small, seemingly dumb exercises like pointing out three things you like about yourself in the mirror, can make a difference. you have all of the time in the world to learn how to be friends with yourself. but you might as well start now. baby steps are good. if you hide, spend half an hour outside, even once a week. get used to the discomfort. treat yourself. let it all contradict. growth is totally inevitable.

unfortunately, there's no all encompassing answer. you can know all of this logically and still feel Bad. and you're obviously allowed to be frustrated, to cry and break down, to have moments where you just feel entirely overwhelmed with self hatred - i can't figure out how to stop them, and i think they will remain with us for a while. maybe the goal is to just to cope with them in a decent way and not to prevent them all together. but those episodes are not an excuse to take your own life, ever. i can't think of a bigger fucking tragedy than the world losing you before you even had the chance to attempt living by an alternative narrative. you deserve so much better. i can't stress it enough. you have a whole open future just waiting for you, a healthy body to see it all with - it's going to be beautiful, it's going to surprise you even when you think you're a totally hopeless case. you're not. that's just another lie. your humanity is never going to depend on your physicality and anyone who can't accept that can fuck off!!! anyway i hope you know that there are genuinely so many resources available if you feel like this is getting Too much to handle by yourself. you're honestly not alone and if this is having a big impact on your overall stability then you're totally entitled to professional or medical support. it doesn't have to be a big deal. suicidal thoughts are not normal and there are people who will enable you to dissect and overcome them, you just have to make the initial choice to reach out. even if your brain is screaming otherwise. whether it's through school or a hotline or your doctor - communication WILL put your pain in perspective eventually, in turn lessening it. please consider it. even if takes you your whole lifetime to appreciate yourself, the fact that you're here and trying and navigating this shitty world is more than good enough. i'll be rooting for you from a place of total understanding until the end of time. please take and let me know if you need a friend. i'll be here.

*sorry if this didn't help. the other day i was having an Episode and nothing anyone said could've changed how absolutely disgusting i felt. sometimes it's like that. but this will always be here for you to look back on when you're in a more fair and objective state of mind.

#long post #tw suicide #im sorryyyyy this is so long and messy but u get my gist. ladies we r consumed by the world regardless might as well let them choke #anon

[psychomxncy]

Interview turned Datenight

@fire-spitting-demon-bastard

(I've combined all three previous role plays into one) 

“Oh the parasites, yeah my body makes sure work of those! Nothing stays alive in here!” the demon slapped his stomach with a grin on his face. “I think that might just be something unique to us haemovores though… that means blood drinker if you need to write that down. Our bodies are made to kill off such organisms as parasites and bacteria” The demon moved on swiftly from that nugget of info standing up out of his seat and began to walk around the table with his arms crossed.

“Actually yeah that sounds good. Lets see, what can I ask you?” the demon pondered for a few seconds raising his index finger and thumb to his chin. His hair hung over his face hiding his eyes for a moment, and then he looked at Violet with a toothy smile once he got something. “Alright. First of all, you grow up with vampires, demons, ghosts and whatnot in your life? Cause uh… you’re acting like this is just another day at the office for you” Carlos asked her standing behind her chair. “Also, ya got any hobbies? Maybe activities you enjoy?” he asked moving on again and continued to walk around the table. “Any pets? A favorite animal? Whats your family like, and also…” he stopped on the other side of the table and leaned over it so he was face to face with Violet “Ya ever been on a date with a demon before? Cause I’m thinkin I can change that for you if you haven’t?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Carlos was following along keeping quiet as she spoke. He only added in the odd nod now and again until she got to her musical tastes and enjoying quiet places.

Heck, if she liked abandoned buildings she’d love some of the ones he’d stayed in! Carlos was staying in an old run down factory right now with all it’s old machines still inside which appeared to date back to the Victorian era. He was staying in the attic space, which was empty all but the stuff he’d took in there. One part of her speech got him hard though. The mention that her biological family were dead. At that point Carlos stopped smiling and looked at her with a clear look of hurt in his eyes. He’d waited until she’d finished before adding anything on. “I… know how that feels. To lose your family…” the demon looked down at his hand, rolling a peanut between his index finger and thumb just staring at it. He tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a huff with a smile attached “It’s lucky for you ya landed on your feet huh? Your adoptive family sounds great. I’d ask to meet em some day buuut, I don’t think most folks parents approve of their little girls hanging out with my sort” the demon tossed the peanut into his mouth and looked back up towards Violet. His cocky facade seemed to have fallen in this moment giving the goth a glimpse of his real core. “But I digress! Lets see, questions about you…” The demon pondered, moving on from the subject. “Ok… so, favorite animals? Any strange habits? Are you single? Favorite colour? How long ya been into this science thing?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Bat onsie?… Ok that’s kind of adorable” the demon chuckles at the thought of her in a bat onsie. He shakes his head a couple of times at her question that he doesn’t get to do this with many other people. His existence was a bit of a lonely one. Sure he could talk to strangers at a bar and could even be quite a charmer when he put his mind to it, but he had a tendency to avoid getting close with people, both for his own security and to avoid getting hurt again. “I… don’t really do this with anyone. Sometimes I pretend my mum or my sister are with me but…” he bit his tongue and stopped talking about it as soon as he mentioned his family. “Hey, you ever chased fireflies?” he’d clearly steered the subject back on track and away from the topic that hurt him. The question however was a legit one. Carlos had often ran through the grass just to spook the fireflies. He had a feeling Violet might get a kick out of it too.

⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ ⚰️ 

(violets reply)

She rolls her eyes and playfully slaps his arm. 

“Yeah Yeah i know what a Haemovore is. Im a scientists, things like this are basic if you study oddballs. However it is fascinating and i'm jealous of that almost literal iron stomach. I wish i could eat bloody things without fear of sickness.” she listens as he speaks, asking questions about her.

“Yeah this is basically a day at the office for me. when you grow up around the weird and spooky, things like this don't much bother you anymore. As for my family, I do think they'd like you. You seem rather sincere and sweet, not what id expect of a demon, not that i really had many expectations to begin with. My family, especially my dad and grandfather, would find you fascinating.My family would be falling all over themselves to talk to you, the kids would be begging you to play. They'd love you Raziel.” she smiled softly and placed a hand on his arm when he moved closer to her. he let loose a barrage of questions, much they way she had him and she hummed.

“Hobies: Reading, singing, dancing, gardening, cooking and baking, sewing, playing music, playing with animals and doing scientific studies in the field, speaking to spirits. Pets: I wouldn't say i really had pets, but i did take care of several animals on the mountain and strays people just drop off. Though we do have farm animals we care for. My favorite animal would be cats, fantasy animal would be unicorn. Strange habits: uhhhh, i don't know what you would consider strange. its a very broad term, my whole family is strange so my habits are normal to me. Favorite colour is Purple. and i've loved science my whole life. I love to learn. Yes im single. No i've never been on a date with a demon. Though i've never really been on a date before in general. But i suppose i wouldn't mind.” she hoped she was able to answer all of his questions to satisfaction. 

when he mentioned how cute her onsie was she laughed.

“Yeah it is really cute, i love how cozy it is, its technically a kigu but i sleep in it because its not constricting like a onsie. As for fireflies i have chased them, my dad and i used to all the time when i was little, now i do it with my nieces and nephews. But having our first date being something fun like that would honestly be perfect to me. Like i said, ill bring a blanket and some food, along too.” She caught the sad tone in his voice about his family. shed have to ask later, when he was comfortable talking about it.

“Im glad to be doing this with you Raziel.” 

#violet roleplays #fire spitting demon bastard #combined roleplays

[mybipolar-coaster]

An Introduction

I would like to say it was an easy decision to write down my experiences thus far in life but that would be a lie. I don’t really consider myself an interesting person. As a matter of fact, I consider myself rather boring. I like boring things like history and science. I studied statistics in university. I’ve led what I would consider an amazingly average life. That is, until late last year when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder, or as those in the states would call it, Bipolar I. Since then, so many things in my life have clicked into place. Things that had always seemed unusual now had a reason behind them, a cause. I had something I could point to and say, “that’s why”. Since being diagnosed I have found an entire community online of people both living with the disorder and coping with the fallout of it. I have also had my own share of trials and ordeals to deal with since my diagnosis, but that’s getting ahead of myself a bit. First, let me explain what it was that finally made me commit to writing this blog. I am currently waiting for the right opportunity to ask the girl I have been dating for the past 10 years to marry me. I have the ring. I know the when, I know the where. The how is still slightly eluding me but I think a small amount of improvisation on that front won’t hurt. This is what made me want to write this blog. I wanted to detail my feelings leading up to asking the question. I hope to portray the excitement and nerves leading up to the moment of truth so that afterwards I can get my (hopefully) fiancée to read back and see how much thought, work and planning went into this and how much I love her. But then I thought, “hey, why stop there”? I could keep the blog going afterwards, talk about ordinary, every-day things. Perhaps even give people an insight into how I live with my condition and how it affects those around me. I have always been a creative person and I enjoy writing, so maybe this could be a new hobby for me. I certainly hope so. So, this will be the first post in a hopefully ongoing series of blog posts. However, in the off chance that my girlfriend does happen to stumble upon this blog, I will be operating under strict anonymity for the time being. I won’t say my name, or the name of anyone that could be used to identify me in these blogs, at least until after I’ve popped the question, but everything else within will be true. I think an ideal first post then, would be for me to give a quick recap of my life so far, and give you the reader an introduction to my life and how my messed-up brain works. I hope you enjoy!

I was born in the UK in the early 90’s (trying to be vague) into a working-class family. My dad worked as an electrician in a dog-food factory and my mum volunteered as a cook in a nursing home. My parents were quite old when they had me, so there is a large age gap between me and the rest of my family. In fact, when I was born both of my older brothers were teenagers. My mum says that one of my brothers refused to talk to her or my dad for a year after they told him they were pregnant because he was so disgusted that they were still having sex “at their age”. Having an older family definitely has its advantages though. When I was young, all my siblings had jobs, so I got four times the amount of presents that most other kids got. I should point out that I also have a sister, who is the closest in age to me. Growing up, me and my sister got on like oil and water. I’m surprised my mum managed to survive through my early years – in the same year my sister turned sixteen I was going through my “terrible twos”. I have always been a mummy’s boy. Even now that I’m in my 20’s, I get on great with my mum and have a good relationship with her. I bring up my mum because she was my first ever contact with mental illnesses. My mum had panic attacks and generalised anxiety when I was younger. I have multiple memories of us being somewhere and my mum suddenly bursting into floods of tears, sometimes running away, and my dad having to track her down and console her. It was an incredibly scary experience as a child but, to my mum’s credit, she did a great job of explaining things as she calmed down. She would tell me it wasn’t anyone’s fault, that it was something that was medically wrong with her like being sick and that I shouldn’t blame myself for her attacks. Her explanations were pivotal in my understanding of mental illnesses and my dad’s behaviour during these attacks served as an example to me for the rest of my life on how to deal with a crisis situation.

Even far back in my childhood, symptoms of my bipolar were there. It was subtle, but there were things about me that made me different from other kids. I could be morose or have fits of worry every now and then. I would worry about dying, or someone in my family being hurt. I was very young when I realised that, because there was such a big age gap between me and the rest of my family, I was most likely going to have to watch my whole family die. I’d have to attend their funerals, possibly give speeches, and then I’d be left alone at the end. This terrified me as a child and even now it still serves as a strange sort of morbid obsession during my low days. For instance, I have the speech I will give at my father’s funeral memorised and have done for quite some time. My dad isn’t even ill and shows no signs of kicking the bucket anytime soon, but it plays in my head so often that I’ll be prepared for when that day comes. In fact, I’ll be prepared in more ways than one. Ever since I was a child, I have been experiencing a symptom of bipolar affective disorder that I didn’t even realise was unusual until I was diagnosed. I spent my entire life thinking everyone got this at certain points in their lives and it was only after a conversation with my girlfriend where she pointed out that this wasn’t normal that I went to a psychiatrist and got diagnosed. This symptom is called Disassociation. Disassociation can happen multiple ways, but it always affects me the same way. During moments of crisis, moments of importance or sometimes when I feel I am in a place of some significance, I feel as if I leave my body and allow another entity to control it. That sounds far more sinister than what it actually feels like so let me try and explain it as best I can. Most people experience going on autopilot, where their mind switches off and they continue to do some monotonous or repetitive task. My Disassociation feels a bit like that. The entity that takes over my body is my autopilot. He will do what I would want to do anyway. He doesn’t have his own needs or wants. He just does. I, on the other hand, leave my body. I picture it like that episode of Tom & Jerry where Tom accidentally kills himself with a falling piano while chasing Jerry. His soul leaves his body and rises up to cat heaven only to not be allowed in because he’s been so mean to Jerry. Well my “soul” (I don’t believe in a soul so the more fitting term here would probably be id) leaves me in the same way and floats, just above and behind me, and observes. I feel like I am acting like a documentarian in these moments. Like a wildlife cameraman observing the animal he has been tracking for years being eaten by a predator – I am totally detached. I’m there to watch, not to influence. Sometimes I think maybe I’m me in the future, remembering this event and not actually the present me at all. Does this make sense? It’s a very strange sensation and, from what I gather, kind of unique to me so I really struggle to explain it to other people. My girlfriend thinks she can sometimes tell when I’m disassociating though. She says I become wide-eyed and emotionless, talking in a monotone. This might be true, but she has only been able to correctly identify when I’m disassociating twice in the entire time I’ve known her so it might just be they were particularly noticeable incidents.

Of course, the other big symptom of Bipolar Affective Disorder is the mood cycles. When I was younger, my cycles were generally rather enjoyable but as I have gotten older, they have gotten less enjoyable and more something to be monitored and observed. Before I go any further into how my cycle affects me, I feel I should spend a bit of time explaining the cycle as a lot of people don’t really get the Bipolar cycle and there is a lot of misinformation in the media. To put it in the simplest terms, lets imagine a scale from 0 to 10. Now if you are a neurotypical, normal person, I want you to imagine the happiest you have ever been. Then I want you to imagine the saddest you’ve ever been. Now if I was to say to you that 0 is the worst and 10 is the best, where would you put those memories? Probably 0 and 10, right? Well, in terms of measuring bipolar moods, we tend to use the 0 to 10 scale as well but ours is a bit different. When you get down to 0, there should be extreme hopelessness. Either you haven’t moved for extended periods, haven’t eaten and most likely have self-harmed, tried to commit suicide or have at least given it serious thought. Now your 0 may hit a lot of those same notes. You may have considered killing yourself after the death of a close loved one or a life event that hit you particularly hard. Once again, I want you to think back to that worst moment in your life. Now what if I said you’d feel that way every few months. You feel like that, not because something has happened or because you lost something but because it’s September. It’s just that time again. Now let’s go to the other side of the spectrum. This one is a little trickier because it involves more than just emotion, it involves energy levels and sanity levels. This is an important thing to bear in mind with bipolar. If you’re a normal person, your 10 is the happiest you’ve ever been in your life. If you’re bipolar, you’re 10 is the furthest from reality you’ve ever been in your life. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes mania can feel great but sometimes it can feel like hell. A 10 on the bipolar scale can involve hallucinations, delusions of grandeur, an insane amount of energy that absolutely must be excised, a manic state and way of speaking and a lack of need to sleep. Seriously, while manic I can sleep for as little as 2 hours in a 48-hour period and feel absolutely fine. The only upside to a manic state is that it can sometimes feel really good and all that energy helps you get through a lot of work if you can keep focused. You also tend to get a burst of creativity while manic which can help with business projects, artistic creations or even writing the first post for a new blog!

I think I’ll leave it here for my first blog post, I’ve explained a little about myself and why I wanted to start this blog, but mostly rambled in my scatter-brained way about my bipolar disorder. I think I’ve put enough words down for today and I’ll pick up on this tomorrow. I promise I will get into more of the general diary keeping and talking about the proposal, but I feel it is important to get this bipolar stuff explained first so that you know what lens I look at the world through before I start telling you what I can see. And if you’re reading this, I love you Gorgeous!

-B

#bipolar #bipolaraffectivedisorder #bipolardisorder #proposal #marriage #blog #firstpostever #personal #bipolar affective disorder

[atomicstrawbrys]

Jealousy - Part 1

This was originally an ask prompt but it got way out of hand so now it’s a much larger story. Prompt: Arthur dates some guy because he thinks Alfred is straight., which results in a jealous Alfred. //

“Hey, Art! C’mere, I want ya to meet someone!”

As Arthur listened to the familiar voice of his former roommate outside his apartment, he resisted the urge to cringe. Of course, he was here. Arthur couldn’t go one day without thinking about him and dwelling on him, and now, like divine punishment, Alfred was here. All Arthur wanted was to be able to get over him, but each time he thought he was making progress he would meet Alfred’s blue eyes and get absolutely swallowed by them. But he couldn’t ask for space. As much as he wanted time to break off his attachment and heal, he couldn’t bear the thought of hurting Alfred. So, he tried to get as much time alone without Alfred realizing that he was avoiding him.

However, it was hard to find the time to reflect on himself, since Alfred had his address and was prone to stopping by whenever he pleased. Frowning, Arthur opened the door and made eye contact with Alfred, purposefully avoiding the gaze of the young lady Alfred had hanging off his arm.

“This is Valerie! I came to introduce her to ya since you’re my best friend n’ all!” Alfred gave his usual megawatt grin, though the smile Arthur gave in return looked sickly. “Well, it is nice to meet you, Valerie, but I’m afraid I’m feeling quite sick.” He lied through his teeth, retreating towards his door like a hermit crab hiding in its shell.

“What- again! Arthur, that’s the third time this month, are you oka-” Alfred wasn’t able to finish, for Arthur had already shut the door and bolted it. Arthur had faith that Valerie wouldn’t stick around long- none of Alfred’s flings lasted more than two weeks. But, each time part of Arthur’s brain nagged that it was only a matter of time until Alfred met ‘the one’. Each girlfriend he brought around had a small chance of being his future wife. That was enough to set Arthur on edge.

He ignored the knocks on his door until they stopped, and then he heard the sound of Alfred’s loud, obnoxious truck pulling away. Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to move on, and fast. Otherwise, he might never truly unstick himself from Alfred.

Recalling some advice from his mother, Arthur sat down at his computer. She’d always told him that “Before he could get out of a hole, he would have to put down the shovel." meaning that to fix his problem he would have to stop dwelling on Alfred and making it worse.

It didn’t take long to set up his online dating profile. Hair? Blond. Eyes? Green. Seeking? Men. Hobbies? Gardening, writing, collecting World War 2 memorabilia, to name a few. Filling out his information was easy enough and didn’t take him more than a few minutes, but then he had to fill out his preferences.

What was his type, other than Alfred? He must have one, after all, he’d met Alfred in college and dated before that. What were some traits his old boyfriends had in common..?

They were usually taller than him. But, then again, he’d always been short. Most men were taller. He wrote it down anyway. Sweet, yes, everyone wanted someone sweet..and funny, too! When he finally had all his preferences written down, he read the paragraph to himself.

“I’m looking for someone sweet,” It began. Simple enough. “Someone funny, too, maybe with a soft side? Physical attributes aren’t everything, but I have a special liking towards tall men, blonde hair, and blue eyes.” He tried to pretend that that description didn’t match Alfred, and then he published his profile. Now, all he had to do was wait and see if he got a match.

He didn’t get any messages that night, but, in the morning he had a few. Most were simple, unattractive ‘heys’, and he even got a few….rather lewd photos that neither charmed nor impressed him. But, there was one message, sent from a Mr. Francis Bonnefoy.

-Good Morning, Arthur! I am Francis, and I must say that you are by far the most attractive man on this site, other than yours truly of course!

-That was a joke, by the way! The part about me. Not the part about you.

Arthur rolled his eyes at the message, the edge of his lip turning up into an amused smile. Francis sent the message only fifteen minutes ago, which meant that he would probably reply if Arthur messaged him back.

-Well, I did say I liked funny men, didn’t I? Tell me about yourself. What do you do? Arthur sent back, Alfred the furthest thing from his mind at the moment.

It took only five minutes for Francis to reply.

-I am a private chef, too talented to be tied to any one restaurant. You garden, right? Perhaps I should come over and cook some of your fresh vegetables into the best meal you’ve ever tasted ;)

Arthur rolled his eyes at the annoying little wink Francis decided to add, but, he had to admit that he was interested. Francis seemed a little full of himself, sure, but he was at least trying to be funny.

-I’m afraid I live in an apartment, so the only things I have room for are the herbs and spices I grow in my window boxes. Though if you’d like to cook with those, I suppose I wouldn’t mind. But I’d rather go someplace public, first. I’m sure you understand.

While Francis was interesting, Arthur didn’t want a stranger knowing his address and coming to his home. Anyone could be a creep, and he wasn’t going to take the chance.

-Of course, I understand, Arthur. A movie on Friday, perhaps? My treat.

It was a date, then. Arthur was putting himself out there once again. Biting his lip, he leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling as he tried and failed to contain a smile.

-----

Friday’s date came and went, and so did the next three dates.  Arthur enjoyed Francis’ company and Francis seemed to like spending time with him as well. There was always something to talk about. Francis was intellectual and opinionated, so conversations with him were always fun. Although Arthur wasn't sure of his feelings yet, Francis was a great friend so far. Such a great friend, in fact, that he invited Francis over after their fourth date.

He sent his address over text and set about cleaning his apartment. While he was straightening up the living room, his phone rang. It must be Francis- perhaps he was lost or needed to know which floor Arthur was on. However, when he looked at the caller ID, Alfred’s name and picture showed up on the screen.

“Hello?” Arthur greeted, furrowing his brow. Alfred almost never called- he was a texting sort of person.

“Um, hey, Art! I was just wondering how you’ve been, ‘cause you know, I haven’t seen ya in a while! It’s been a few weeks, actually. Can I come over, or..?”

Arthur was puzzled. Alfred didn’t ask permission. He usually just showed up and hoped Arthur wasn’t busy, which, with the exception of the past few weeks, he generally wasn’t.

“Oh, actually Alfred, I’ve got a date. He’s coming over, so now really isn’t the best time..” Arthur fumbled with the hem of his sweater. “Maybe some other time?”

The line was quiet for much too long. It was several seconds before Alfred answered. “A date?! How- how long have you been seeing this guy?!” Alfred sounded almost angry.

Arthur scowled. “Almost a month, actually, not that it’s any of your business. His name is Francis and he’s quite sweet and charming. Now, if you excuse me, I have to get ready.”

“Get ready?! Get ready how-? Arthur!”

Arthur hung up the phone.

When Francis got to his apartment, he went right to the windowsill. He marveled over the plants Arthur raised, smiling as he plucked a few herbs. “These are lovely, Arthur, and they’ll be even better in a meal. Just show me around your kitchen and I’ll get started.”

Arthur got out pots and pans for Francis to use, though Francis brought his own knives. He’d scoffed at Arthur’s, calling them far too dull to ever be of use. Arthur sat down on a stool while Francis cooked, watching him. He had his arms crossed on the counter and was slouched over slightly, but he perked up when Francis spoke.

“Actually, Arthur...I must speak with you. About us.”

#the other parts will be posted tomorrow #usuk #fruk #APH England #APH France #APH America #arthur kirkland #francis bonnefoy #alfred f jones #ukus #ukfr