#idk who i was expecting to win but it wasn't them

[sehodreams]

come inside of my heart

TW and Tags: all consensual, smut, fluff (corny moments, sorry), porn with plot(?), making out sessions, weird characters(?), fingering, Seunghan overthinking, mutual pining(?), corruption kink(?), p in v, oral sex (both receiving), dom!Seunghan, friends with benefits(?)(more like classmates with benefits).

WC: 14k (I’M.SO.SORRY)

Summary: Seunghan has a problem with letting people stay close to him for long, so when he meets you, he expects his interest to fade like it usually does, but this time things seem to be different.

Comment: Again, another weird story that didn’t end or go like I expected, my head it’s kind of weird while writing idk, I wanted it to be a story of Seunghan plainly fucking reader so much she couldn’t think anymore, but it still has porn. Also, I think this should be under a fantasy category because it’s so idealistic hahahaha.

Yeah, I should stop writing on my laptop because these stories have gone from 4k to 10k+ and my mind can’t take it, and I'm sorry, but after this, I'm taking at least a two-day break, I wasn't going to let it win but it did suck my whole soul, so Seunghan better comes back soon, let's think this is an early celebration.

Pd: I did a bit of proofreading but not much, only at the end because I realized that I always write everything in past, and suddenly it was all in present and it was so weird.

Seunghan, unlike what many think, gets easily bored of people.

He doesn't know if it has something to do with his mbti or whatever people talked about those days, but what he knows is that, since he was young, he’s liked to know people, but he also got quickly tired of them.

For him, it was easy to start the communication, and with that he doesn’t mean being the first one saying hello or introducing himself, he hated being the one making the first step, but he liked to be the first one doing the real questions. Seunghan would prefer to say he was naturally curious, but he wasn’t, he wanted to know what people’s hobbies and thoughts were with the purpose of learning how to behave and what to say to them, because more than curious, he liked to be liked.

There wasn’t anything he disliked more than useless problems and uncomfortable moments with people he didn’t care enough about, so for his own peace, and to maintain the harmony around him, he preferred to just please others.

He knew he had a talent not many had, making people comfortable came to him almost like breathing, and, therefore, many wanted to stay around him, but not many got the privilege of staying for long.

It was hard to keep him entertained, so it was common to see different people flying around him, whether he was the one talking or listening, it didn’t matter, people felt attracted to his presence, and he enjoyed the attention even when he didn’t say anything at all, so he let them approach him, but if they didn’t have anything else to offer than their company, he’d go and find another person that picked his interest until he got bored and repeated the cycle again. Still, even knowing they wouldn’t last long, everyone wanted to stay by his side, and they would work hard for it, but if Seunghan didn’t want them in his space, he’d softly push them away by filling their roles with other characters, and not finding their place beside him anymore, they’d slowly leave him without making a scene.

To your luck, or disgrace, you somehow had caught his interest this time.

As expected, after you caught his attention, he decided to dig as much as he could about you, however, what was unexpected, was the kind of person you were and how you caught his attention.

He had a type for everything, at his age he knew enough about what he usually liked. He liked smart opinionated people who always had something to say, he liked how being seen with them always elevated his status and profile in everyone else’s eyes, so they were most of the people that always flocked with him, and of course, that included pretty girls with energetic voices. The way they would follow the conversation with witty remarks and would understand his humour left a lingering feeling of satisfaction he tried to savour as long as he could when he flirted with them, and he couldn't deny it, he was a sucker for pretty faces, he loved the way their smiles would shine and illuminate the room, and how they matched his eagerness for the public attention.

Surprisingly, in the curse of his life, he hasn't had a ton of dates, he’s had his fair share of relationships and an impressive quantity of received confessions, but he carefully chose who to give such opportunity to before he decided to accept the other's feelings. Going out with him had to bring something into his life for him to decide they were good enough to receive his time and effort, and since he knew how easily he could get tired of them, they had to make him think that he would enjoy their presence for at least a decent period of time.

He's never had to chase anyone, he's always been the chased one, or he was until you arrived, and what bothered his mind every time he ran to you was that you weren't his style at all.

You didn’t check any of his boxes.

In first place, you weren't energetic at all. You never matched his conversations with equal happiness, you didn't understand his jokes most of the time and you didn't even try to continue the flow of his conversations. With no remarks and no comments, you'd let the contact die as soon as you could, which always itched something in the back of his head. He can even remember what your first messages looked like. He would send two or three lines of whatever went through his mind, being extremely polite to you as his classmate, wishing to be on your good side, and you would answer with the driest ok he had ever seen in his life.

Hi, just a quick question, what do you think about moving the meetings to my house? I think it'd be better for all of us since none of them would have to pay for coffee and I have everything we might need in my place, it's just something that went through my mind and I wanted to send it to the group chat but I know you live kind of far from here so I wanted to ask you first, so what do you think?

Ok

He still gets annoyed when he remembers your past messages.

In second place, you weren't the bright person he usually liked to hang out with. You would never make anyone turn back to see you twice, sometimes they wouldn't notice you even if you were in front of them, and you'd often get ignored if he didn't repeat your comments while working together, which honestly impressed him since you only talked if you had something useful to say, so he would expect others to stay silent when you showed intentions of entering the conversation, but your voice would simply get lost between everyone spitting random ideas and opinions that were rather pointless. You were still kind enough to answer each of them before everyone followed your ideas, receiving no appreciation back from anyone, and it did bother him to see that happening every meeting, hoping that at some point everyone would learn to shut up and give you your time, but it bothered him even more to see that you didn’t care if they listened to you or not.

At least, after a couple of meetings, it was almost established that his seat would be always next to you because no one, except him, found being near you important.

And last but not least, your face wasn't his type. You weren't ugly, but you weren't the prettiest girl in the room either. You were rather normal with your round brown eyes and your dark hair, unlike the girls with caramel eyes and smooth hair that always looked as if they just arrived from a hair salon appointment, you simply had no spark, and you didn't try to get one either. You would wear plain clothes with no sense of style, only thinking in your comfort instead of what others said behind your back, and he couldn’t imagine himself going hand in hand with you looking that way.

Seunghan almost never got involved with people like you, dull and boring. He was sure that if it wasn’t for the project, he wouldn’t have learned your name, and if it wasn’t for the unexpected turn of events, you’d have ended like one of the numerous faceless people in his past.

The way you slowly and effortlessly took a spot in his head was unconventional. Unlike the continuous messages and invitations most people did to get closer to him, you only did your stuff, working on your tasks and lending a hand if anyone asked for help, but it was kind of endearing how someone who looked so uninterested in everyone else and their opinions would work hard to help if needed. Even if they ignored you most of the time, you had no resentment at all, and when Seunghan asked you if you minded that they called for you that much, your answer was so short it made him analyze each of your words for days, ‘’Well, the work has to be done’’.

He wanted to know if you were a fool letting yourself be taken advantage of or if you simply wanted to end things as fast as you could, and he was inclining more into the latest seeing your blank face writing over your keyboard and yawning unbothered when most of them had left and you stayed to finish their parts because, just like you had said, I won’t open the document once I cross your door.

‘’Aren’t you mad?’’ he then asked.

‘’Not really, why would I get mad?’’ you said without stopping your work.

‘’I don’t know, I just feel like you should’’ Seunghan bit his lip and watched you skillfully go through the document introducing commas and changing words, not wanting to interrupt you but doing it anyways because he couldn’t stay with the doubt in his mind, ‘’don’t you ever get mad?’’

‘’Uhmm no’’ you answered without stopping your work, ‘’I do get mad, I don’t mind correcting other’s work on the computer, but I hate washing other’s dishes.’’

That makes sense, he thought, because you never offered yourself to help him wash everyone’s cups once they left you two alone, and he didn’t realize it until that moment, but the common thing would’ve been to at least offer yourself to take them to the kitchen, thing you never did.

Another question popped into his mind.

‘’Don’t you work in a restaurant?’’ he, after a long time, asked.

‘’Yeah’’

He laughed for days when that conversation replayed in his head.

A routine had been formed after many reunions. Every member of the group would go to his house each Thursday for a couple of hours to show what they had advanced for the big project and the little work the professor left through the semester. You’d arrive a couple of minutes earlier than them since you finished your shift in the restaurant you worked at, and you’d stay there silently scrolling your phone while he revised the shared document. Then, when they all left, you would stay to check with him his work, he trusting you to respectfully correct him and help him just like you did with the others.

It was one of those numerous late nights that, whatever you had, started.

You were biting your lower lip while reading his paragraphs, making a couple of changes every now and then, not paying him any attention on your side, and he doesn’t know what went through his mind, you were calmly doing your own thing, you weren’t any different than usual, with your plain t-shirt and your glasses reflecting the screen light, no colour on your cheeks and hair strings poking out of your ponytail, when his hand moved on its own, accommodating them behind your ear.

Your hands immediately paralyzed, and your eyes stayed glued to the sentence you were about to change, surprised by his sudden action.

‘’Sorry,’’ he apologized, feeling surprised even with himself for doing that.

‘’It’s okay’’ you said and continued.

When you finished his part, you quickly grabbed your things and left, leaving him alone in his apartment with a sour taste in his mouth, repeating in his head how stupid he was for not being able to control his own hand.

You didn’t mention anything about it to anyone, and not that he had thought you would go and scream it to the public, but there was something that told him to be careful with you from that moment on, because you weren’t his prospect, and he couldn’t let you catch unnecessary feelings for him.

The next time you stayed to check his work, he kissed you.

His mind couldn’t function with you around. You, again, had done nothing different from usual, you sat beside him focused on your screen the whole time, correcting his progress, acting as if nothing had happened, making him feel like the only one overthinking the past situation. You showed no interest in him and he had repeated in his head that he should be careful with you that afternoon, he was so into it that when you arrived, instead of sitting beside you until the others got there, he went to his kitchen and rewashed the cups he gave each of them, yet when everyone had left and you were saying something about him reading a certain book to write more about the topic in his part, his hand moved to your neck, and making you face him, he pressed his lips over yours.

He had never done that before, he had never stolen a kiss, even less from someone who showed no interest in him, with no previous flirt and tons of flattering messages directed to him making clear that he could go for it.

You were reluctant at first, not corresponding to his lips movement, mouth hard like a stone. That almost threw him off, but when he was about to leave you, your mouth finally opened to him, letting him interlock his lips with yours, stealing some of your air and sensing the rare softness you had, a touch of inexperience with coffee flavour.

So smart for everything except that, he felt like he could finally teach you something, and that fired the last doubt inside him.

From that day on, every time you went to his house, he would kiss you until everyone else arrived, leaving you with glossy eyes and a different air around you that they noticed but commented nothing about, and when they left and you finished with the last touches of the document, he’d kiss you again, making you bolder and bolder to accept him with every session.

If he went to his kitchen and tapped your hand you would follow him without a word, if the last person about to leave went to the bathroom he wouldn’t doubt to quickly kiss you before they came back, and if you were doing nothing while waiting, he only had to walk to your side for you to lift your eyes and met his lips.

You showed no eagerness to start the kisses, but you always received him with appetite, and that was enough for him to not want to stop.

His preoccupation about you saying something was long forgotten, just in those meetings, even when it was only the two of you, you said no word about the kisses, a silent pact to keep what you had in secret and only behind his doors.

Also, another thing that helped him go around campus with an easy mind was that you showed no intention to change yourself. Usually, when he dated girls they would put more effort into their appearances, they would ask him to buy couple accessories to show off what they were, and then they would match his style, introducing clothes with colours he liked or constantly wore into their wardrobe, like a distinction to show off they were with him, but you didn’t try to do any of that at all, going around with the same clothes, not asking for a single thing from him, not even taunting the idea of having a shared accessory.

You weren’t dating, he knew you didn’t think you were a couple at all, so maybe that was why.

You didn’t ask him what you were, you didn’t pressure him into asking you out, or even insinuate that you liked him. He didn’t understand how you didn’t put any of those cards on the table, you had the chance every time you went to his house, but you didn’t. Seunghan couldn’t understand how you, unlike others, even himself, had no interest in grabbing the opportunity of getting a higher status and being the centre of everyone’s attention, by being with him you could escalate the pyramid, but it seemed like the invisible pyramid he always saw in his head was the last of your concerns.

He was kind of grateful that you didn’t see the point in telling others what you were doing in his living room because thanks to that he felt relaxed beside you. He knew you wouldn’t tell anyone if he did anything wrong, if his lips were too dry when he kissed you, if maybe he was using too much tongue, if his nose kept bumping yours, he didn’t feel the need to think each of his movements or to keep his perfect image, and that finally let him breath and discover how he liked to kiss, helping you discover how you liked it in the way too.

I need to breathe, I want to push my tongue more, can I bite your lip?

Both of you would sometimes throw questions in the middle of the sessions, and none of you judged each other if one wanted to try something new or wanted a break, but they were almost always short ones, enough for you to inhale air for a couple of seconds before Seunghan went back for it.

However, even if he thought the situation was perfect with you not asking for more from him in terms of the pseudo-relationship, he had started to do it without noticing.

Again, he knew how to make people comfortable, and after getting to know you all those days alone, he understood that the best thing to maintain you at ease was directly not trying to hold intruding conversations, but now instead of ignoring you until the next reunion like he always did the first times, he’d send you texts asking if you were going to class or if you had seen the new thing one of the members had written in the shared document, and then when you answered him, he would sneak a personal question in the chat, How was your shift? Did you eat already? What are you doing?

Not thinking too much about it, you gave concise replies and then forgot about him if he didn’t continue with his questions, but you had started to notice his change too, not understanding why he had decided to act like that out of nowhere.

You thought his interest in you was based more on the lack of your enthusiasm to have him around after you two were done, and your indifference to his actions outside his apartment, you thought it was that at least, reason why you felt weirded out every time he asked personal stuff.

You had no expectations of him, you convinced yourself it wasn’t worth it, and you did wish for his touch, but not for his words, not even for his ear to listen to you and agree with what you had to say. You were merely there, ready to accept his lips over yours and ready to leave his house as free as when you entered, which made him strangely confident whenever he was with you, but uneasy when you weren’t.

Still, even if you didn’t try to sustain anything with him, you’d do what he asked you to without doubt, like sitting over his lap when he patted his thighs, or walking to his kitchen when he said he wanted your company until the others arrived.

‘’Why did you arrive so early?’’ he asked one day between kisses. Your soft lips caressing his made him think you had prepared to receive him that afternoon, filling his mind with the idea of you hoping to see him earlier that day and the image of you applying lip balm before crossing his door.

He had you over his counter, your boring and plain blue jeans letting him thrust his clothed erection and enjoy the pressure, but not allowing him to differentiate the form of your cunt over him. That day he was getting impatient with not putting in, the idea had gone through his mind since your last meeting, but you hadn’t shown any intention of fucking him, so he contained himself. That was a step he wasn’t sure he should take alone. Unlike kissing, fucking you would bring another level of intimacy to the dynamic, and he doubted you would continue being the same after that, you were only a girl at the end.

‘’Coworker arrived early’’ you answered. Short, clear, and concise.

You didn’t try to satisfy his greed with an I missed you or an I wanted to see you, you let things go on their own flow, and he liked how fresh everything was with you, almost laughable of how unique your honesty was, and he wanted to keep it like that.

‘’I see’’ he smiled, a part of him disappointed but at the same time relieved.

He trusted you to always tell him the truth, even if sometimes brought him back to reality and humbled a little, he felt better knowing you wouldn’t feed his delusions with pleasant lies.

Everything was going well, each of you without mixing their lives apart from the Thursday afternoon in his house and the short conversations by text, and he was able to contain himself without problem, until that day.

Seunghan rarely had a problem with people from his past, usually once he cut the contact with them, they would get tired of reaching out to him, but this guy was one of the few pesters he couldn’t shake off.

He had been his school classmate in his last year, and Seunghan thought he wouldn’t have to see him again ever again after graduation, but he still called him every now and then to ask him to hang out.

Seunghan definitely had better things to do, but having met him outside his campus and saying hi while he was with his other friends, the boy dragged him into having dinner with other old classmates, making him think that maybe it’d be a good occasion to see old friends again, just a light conversation before they all went to do their own thing.

Seunghan should’ve known better at that point that an asshole would never change.

Arriving at one of the numerous restaurants near his house, he thought that at least, if he got bored, he could quickly escape with an excuse.

At a table on a corner there was his old classmate waiting for him, and the minute he saw that the table was just for two, Seunghan knew no one else would appear.

He tried to run away, but once the other made eye contact with him, it was too late.

‘’Hey man’’ the other greeted him.

Seunghan had no option but to sit.

Immediately he sat the other started to ramble about himself.

Trying to distract himself while the other talked, Seunghan directed his whole attention to the menu.

It was a normal chicken place that worked as a pub at night for groups to drink and play until late, he could already hear a few other people chanting for members to have shots and ordering more and more alcohol, the music was nice and the light was perfect to feel comfortable getting drunk without feeling judged, making him think that, if the other hadn’t lied, he could’ve had a good time with his old friends.

‘’Welcome, what can I get for you?’’

Seunghan instantly recognized your presence, your voice, your aroma, everything.

His eyes shot up and he looked at you, trying to distinguish if it was really you or his mind was playing him a bad (not so bad since he was glad) joke, but there you were, the one and only you.

You were wearing the kind of clothes you’d always wear but with an apron over them and a tag on your chest with your name, clearly showing that you worked there. Unlike him, you didn’t show any surprise to see him, keeping the stoic expression you always had, and the corners of his lips went up without him noticing, a smile almost taking control of his mouth, happy to see you out of the classroom or his living room, but no word came out of him.

Should he greet you like he wanted? Should he call your name and say what a surprise? Should he say he didn’t know you worked there? Because he really didn’t know.

Questions accumulated inside his head, and missing his chance, his old classmate ordered for both, and you, not displaying any disappointment or happiness or any feeling at all, left them alone.

Seunghan started to feel even more down, firmly believing that you decided to pretend you didn’t know him, was that what you wanted? To not know him out of his house?

He knew you would never act giddy to see him, you would never scream his name and run to his arms if you saw him on the other side of the street, but he had hoped that you would at least say hi, to acknowledge you knew each other, after all, you were classmates, and he didn’t want you to act like one of the girls that had a crush on him, but he didn’t want you to ignore him either.

‘’So, what do you say?’’ the annoying guy brought him out of his thinking.

‘’Sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you with the music’’ Seunghan was lost the minute the other started to yap, and he didn’t feel like hearing him anymore, but the least he could do was be polite enough until he said goodbye, the last thing he needed was to hear how the other spread into the chats that Seunghan was full of himself now that he was in college, but the boy didn’t help him to stay calm at all.

Even with the big sign inside every restaurant saying that it was forbidden to smoke in shared spaces, he put a cigarette in his mouth and held it while he searched for his lighter.

‘’My friend has a booth in this club and a ton of pretty girls go all the time, you should come with me, we’ll have fun, and if we’re lucky, a better after night’’ he laughed while lighting it.

Seunghan didn’t want to meet him exactly because of that. They never shared interests, he was a lost cause always living in parties ever since they were in school, and Seunghan could say no to those outings when he was a minor, but since graduation, the other had been more and more insistent now that Seunghan didn’t have enough reasons to reject him anymore.

The other, just like when they were in school, wanted him to show up, attract a bunch of pretty girls and trap one of them to fuck them with his friendship with him as an excuse to appear more desirable.

‘’Sorry, I have class tomorrow early’’ Seunghan said, and trying to fan the smoke from his cigarette the other way, coughed before he continued, ‘’I think we should leave if you want to smoke, there’s a big sign that says not to smoke inside’’.

‘’Don’t worry about that, but talking about leaving, I think you should come with me, my friend always pays for all our drinks.’’

Shit, he started to think. Seunghan perfectly knew that tactic, typical from guys like him with no charm and no capacity to attract a girl that was in their full senses.

He hated that kind of guy, and not wanting to stay with one of them in front of you, he started to plan an excuse to leave, needing to go home and forget that night ever happened.

The other didn’t stop talking or showed any sign of putting off the nicotine stick, making him bite the inside of his cheek anxious with the idea of bringing you problems since you’d have to tell his friend that he couldn’t do that there, and knowing him, he wouldn’t stay quiet with a mere waitress telling him what he could and couldn’t do.

‘’I really think you should put that out’’ Seunghan interrupted him after a couple of minutes. The other was already in half his cigarette and Seunghan had resigned in having to put his pretty clean shirt in the dirty laundry because the smell of his cheap little vice was already impregnated in the fabric that used to have the warm and fruity aroma of his softener.

‘’Don’t be such a bummer man, light up a little’’ he joked. ‘’I’ll tell you something, if you come with me, I’ll stop, what do you say’’.

Seunghan found his offer tempting, but if he couldn’t escape there, how would he escape from the club? Well, he could get lost in the middle of all the people, and he had already decided that he would take a shower again to clean the smell of the cigarette, so it didn’t sound too bad after he contemplated the idea.

‘’Hey, go and fuck yourself, he already said he doesn’t want to go.’’

His friend almost choked with the smoke he was holding inside his mouth when he heard you, and Seunghan’s eyes opened while his mouth and thoughts completely shut down.

‘’What the- do you know her?’’ the last question was directed to Seunghan and he didn’t know what to say, his head almost shook saying no like instinct, but he stopped himself before doing it, staying still.

‘’He doesn’t have to know me, everyone here can hear how you’re trying to force him into going with you, so let him alone before I tell my boss you’re smoking here when that big ass poster clearly says you can’t, or apart from not listening you can’t read either?’’

You said all that without an ounce of fear and Seunghan couldn’t understand what was that feeling that had started to grow inside his chest, was that embarrassment for not being able to talk for himself? or embarrassment for being seen with someone like that guy? He wasn’t sure at that moment, but what he noticed was that it was mixed with another thing, annoyance. However, he didn’t know if it was with himself or with the stupid brat in front of him, and it increased once the other stood up from his seat and tried to lift his hand at you.

It was impossible the guy punched you, but just the idea of him touching you with a single finger made him interfere, something he never did.

Seunghan’s body moved on its own and grabbed him before he tried to even brush you, dragging him outside without giving you a second glance.

You didn’t flinch at all, you had met tons of worse clients, he was nothing to you, and you’d have probably ignored the whole situation if it wasn’t that Seunghan looked so troubled sitting there. You had a pact with yourself to not butt in situations that had nothing to do with you, but you knew Seunghan, he couldn’t say a frankly no for the sake of looking good, and he could easily lead people into leaving him in peace, but the other boy had bad news written all over his face, and you doubted someone as pacific as Seunghan could use his tactics with him.

You watched the drinks on the table, two untouched beers that your manager would ask why they stayed like that there, alone, and unpaid, and you just hoped that little spur of bravery didn’t bring you problems with anyone else.

Outside the restaurant Seunghan left the other guy’s arm free and, scrunching to touch his knees with the palms of his hands, he exhaled to control himself.

He started to count in his head, repeating It’s okay, It’s okay, to convince himself that nothing had happened.

‘’Woah I should talk to the owner, how could she talk to a customer like that, that girl shouldn’t be a waitress.’’

It’s not okay.

Rage started to fill him and for the first time, he felt tempted to use his punch over someone else.

‘’Don’t call me ever again.’’

Seunghan started his way to his house, not looking back, feeling that, if he saw his face again, he wouldn’t be able to control his hand from not flying directly to the other’s eye.

When Seunghan arrived at his house he saw one of the numerous flyers on his entrance, right next to the plate where he left his keys and any little thing that he received or bought on the street, recognizing the name of the restaurant where you worked at, and just there a memory came to his mind, you leaving that little paper with an ugly old design, sighing and saying I don’t know if I’m cursed or anything, but my work seems to never leave me alone.

Now he understood why when he saw the direction the other had sent, he felt so eager to go, because even if he couldn’t remember it, his body did it for him, wanting to be near you.

He tossed his shirt into the laundry. He had worn it that day believing it would still be clean enough the next day and he’d be able to wear it in front of all the group, but especially, in front of you, and when he tried to sleep, but the whole night the only thing that occupied his mind was how would you see him that afternoon.

When the clock marked the hour in which you usually arrived, he started to clean his table, again. He had already spent most of his morning cleaning his place to receive the group, but he didn’t know how to stay still with the memory of the disastrous previous night. He kept wondering, what would you say? Would you think he was like his friend? Impossible. Would you pretend nothing happened like you always did? That seemed pretty possible.

He kept convincing himself to not bother you with questions on his part, like, would you always act like you didn’t know him in the streets? Did he have to ignore you every time he saw you out there? Did you think he was pathetic for not being able to give a straight no? Because he thinking it was enough to torment his night, and sure the next ones would have him meeting the same fate too.

His watch alarm sounded while he was dusting his couch pillows for the third time, making him feel anxious because it usually sounded when you were already there, with him, accepting his kisses and his hands grasping your body as much as he allowed himself.

You didn’t arrive until much later when all the other guys were already there.

At least you took your seat beside him like you always did, making him feel at ease a little bit.

It wasn’t enough, Seunghan felt his hands sweating and he couldn’t stop his leg from moving under the table, so after many lost minutes, he decided it was enough, and tapping your hand he signalled the way to his kitchen, telling you to follow him in silence.

Thankfully, and as expected, you didn’t protest, leaving everyone else concentrating on their own stuff.

When you two got to his kitchen, you perfectly knowing your way at that point after so many afternoons watching him move around, to get busy, you filled his kettle with water to boil it and make more coffee, to have an excuse for disappearing from his living room.

‘’Did you get in trouble after we left?’’ Seunghan started.

You played with the force of the fire in his kitchen, and finally leaving it as high as possible, you answered.

‘’Not really.’’

‘’Will they cut the beers from your pay?’’

‘’Nah, you can have a couple of drinks for free a day, so my coworkers had them.’’

The way you looked so recollected should’ve brought him peace, you didn’t get in trouble, which was good, a happy ending, but he got more stressed.

‘’Why did you get involved?’’ he asked the one thing that bothered him the most the last night.

‘’Are you really asking me that?’’ you laughed, ‘’I just felt like doing it.’’

‘’But why.’’

‘’Why do you care so much Seunghan? I’m sorry if I brought you problems, I didn’t mean to, okay?’’ you wanted to leave the topic behind, so you didn’t look at him, nails busy scratching a point of dust off his counter.

You, just like Seunghan, hated getting involved in uncomfortable situations, but unlike him, you didn’t have the ability to swiftly change topics or help everyone involved feel better, resorting to abruptly trying to end discussions with apologies, to then ignore the problem.

That irritated him, how you avoided his eyes and tried to keep yourself busy to not take your part in the situation.

Seconds passed by, and he could hear the water starting to boil, so he knew he wouldn’t have much time until the others started to wonder what you two were doing in his kitchen alone.

His hand grabbed yours when he got tired of you not looking at him, but you kept your eyes down, directing them to his floor titles this time.

‘’Look at me’’ he ordered, and you, not being able to not follow his words, looked up at him.

The silence wasn’t like the one you had when you arrived, it was tense, and it had started to pick on your nerves, pushing you to talk again. ‘’He was bothering you, and you looked uncomfortable, I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to intervene.’’

His grip on you got softer and he exhaled through his nose, a tenderness installing on his chest with your eyes looking at him and your voice wavering but finally answering his question.

He then felt bad, he was no one to talk to you like that, and he never had discussions like that either. He knew how to keep the waters calm and get the other person to participate in the talk, making them feel heard and making them listen to what he had to say, but with you he forgot how to do that, carrying the conversation to another direction instead of the one he wanted to take. ‘’No, I’m sorry, I just wanted to thank you, I don’t know why it sounded as if I was complaining’’ he said, mind not as foggy anymore.

‘’I’m sorry’’ you said again, making him smile this time, because both of you would never stop saying sorry if he didn’t change the tone of the conversation.

‘’Thank you for helping me’’ he said to leave everything behind on good terms.

You nodded, air less tense and comfortable enough for him to move his body closer to you, and hand in hand, cornering you to his counter, after you moved your eyes from his eyes to his lips, he felt as if he had permission to take his Thursday kiss, giving you a peck, to then leave other, and other, until they stopped being just pecks and converted into a deep one.

His other hand went to your waist, playing with the hem of your long plain t-shirt, they never let him sneak a hand to touch the skin inside because of how long they were, and that kind of bothered him, but at the same time it made him smile with his lips over yours, liking the softness all your clothes had.

He had changed his softener to yours after you told him what you used, it was a cheap brand, but it does the job, and he liked to share something as banal as that with you.

The kettle whistle didn’t make him stop, and with the same hand playing with your clothes, he turned off the kitchen, so it didn’t sound anymore.

He had to prepare the new round of coffee for everyone outside, so after a last long-lasting peck, he let you go, but with one last order before you went outside to sit with everyone else.

‘’Don’t pretend to not know me in public.’’

Time went flying after that, and finally able to concentrate, he wrote as much as he could while waiting for everyone to leave you two alone to continue your routine.

When all of them left, you surprised him once again.

Standing with him, you grabbed a couple of cups to take to the kitchen with him, making him grin because that was just so uncharacteristic of you, and he knew you wanted something else to happen.

In his kitchen, alone, you stayed beside him watching him wash the cups and everything he had used that afternoon while he talked about the book you had recommended to him, and once he finished, he dried his hands on the towel you handed him, to then push you to his kitchen counter and taste you.

Your lips he had missed for a week had a different flavour, sweeter this time, still kind of bitter because of the coffee, but there was just something else.

Perhaps it was because you started the kiss this time, pulling his belt until his chest was touching yours and his eyes looked down at you with attention, or perhaps it was simply something else that he didn’t know, maybe you put more sugar in your drink? He didn’t care enough to keep guessing.

One hand going to cup your cheek while the other roamed your waist, he sighed when over your lips when a whimper left your mouth.

His hips were getting impatient, and he had started to thrust onto your clothed sex without thinking, but it was an automatic motion his body did for him, not that he had thought for so many days how your sweet insides would feel, or taste.

He wouldn’t fuck you; he had decided that.

Kisses were more than enough, he tried to convince himself.

But Hong Seunghan was just a man, and mere kisses were never going to be enough, so pulling apart, he tried to think he was stronger than what he really was, and he really tried it, until you grabbed his hand to cup you.

‘’Are you sure?’’ he asked you, hand cupping your pussy harder but still decided to let you go if you didn’t want it.

He had stolen a kiss from you before, but doing something like that without your firm approbation was too much for him.

‘’Just do it Seunghan’’ you replied, opening your legs for him even more.

You were wearing jeans and the rough material felt good against his clothed erection, but not against his hand, so he opened your button and pushed his hand inside your underwear, feeling your clit and drawing the direction your lips showed him to find your entrance.

‘’You’re wet, been thinking about me?’’ He murmured against your ear.

Your tailbone was against the hard marble counter of his kitchen, feeling the border of it sink strongly against you, but it felt so good to have his hand touching you there while he whispered right next to your ear.

He had you opening your legs for him while he situated himself beside you, one leg between yours, his right hand smearing your arousal, and the other gripping the counter to not get too lost in you.

You didn’t answer, ashamed of letting more embarrassing noises out when he was just taunting you.

He wasn’t doing anything, just feeling you with the palm of his hand, and you still felt something forming in the pitch of your stomach you had never felt with anyone before.

Seunghan knew you were a virgin, he was the one who taught you how to give open-mouthed kisses after all, but you never imagined he would be the one making you feel that way.

You two were so different, you had seen him walking around campus with his friends, his sole presence making everyone turn their heads to him, you would’ve never expected to end in a situation like this one with him, or that he’d be the one taking all the first steps.

‘’Stop laughing’’ you said when he continued still.

You had weeks of building up, going home with your panties dripping after he kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, you needed more, but he wasn’t taking the first step anymore, only kissing you, rutting his boner in your entrance and letting you go with a painful smile.

You were too proud to tell him you wanted more, and you wouldn’t have followed him to his kitchen with the cups of coffee if you hadn’t had enough.

Never helping him that way, tired of doing it every day at your job, you thought this was the time.

This was the time before everything fell apart.

You knew how fragile human relationships were, reason why you didn’t want to have a boyfriend or anything like that before.

You had seen in first person how people could change from one day to another, and how anything, didn’t matter how deep looked like, could end in a blink.

Yesterday you felt it was over, you thought that Seunghan would push you away and the make-out sessions would never happen again, but he had kissed you, so you decided to take the first step to feel him more before everything ended.

You thought, everything would finish at one point in time, and if it wasn’t because of a discussion, it would be when the project was over, whatever happened first, so you didn’t have enough time to be proud anymore.

His hand moving brought you out of your thinking, sliding his fingers up and down your slit, you felt his fingertips brushing your clit, sending a shiver through your spine and making you open your mouth, surprised.

‘’Feels good, right?’’ he asked with a smile, drawing circles and feeling as good as you just by looking at your face showing exactly all you were feeling.

Mouth open and eyebrows frown, you let him do what he wanted with you, trusting his experience to take you to an unknown place.

‘’Answer’’ he ordered, stopping his fingers from pressing that little bud and making you shook your head.

‘’Yes, it feels good’’ you answered, letting your head fall to his shoulder and sighing before grabbing his wrist to move it again, but he was a lot stronger, and you could only wrap your hand around him, not being able to close your fingers of how big he was.

Although he had pretty hands, they were still manly, strong, and a lot bigger than yours, and moving his hand again, he showed you the pace you should take when he wasn’t with you, but you doubted you’d be able to feel the same way if it wasn’t his hand the one touching you.

‘’Remember, just like this’’ he said, flicking his index on your clit and making you whimper.

He had that fucking grin on his face the whole time and you couldn’t dare to look at him, feeling at disadvantage to his knowledge.

You were smart, you knew a lot of things, you proofread his work, you checked everyone’s work, and you know you’re always right when you answer questions, but right there you were nothing compared to him, and that made you furious, but it calmed you at the same time.

He might have that grin, but he was treating you so well, softly showing you how real pleasure felt like, you doubted you would’ve felt that comfortable with anyone else in that situation.

Pushing one finger inside, the middle one, he let the other fingers rest while his thumb continued with the caresses to your clit.

Your panties were slightly pushed down with the way he was touching you, and the hard marble was now touching directly at your skin, but the cold sensation of it with the warmness of his hand made everything better, making you stay focused on what was happening the whole time.

‘’Oh god,’’ you cried when his finger started thrusting your entrance.

The spongy and smooth texture of your walls welcomed him without problem, and he cursed at how good you felt.

Getting dizzy, he thought about how you would receive him, how you’d wrap him, and how he would make you used to his size since he’d be the first person fucking you, which filled his chest with something else he couldn’t recognize, was that happiness? It was more like relief.

But it also terrified him.

The need that was increasing inside him to have you near, close to him, with him, it terrified him.

He’s not used to that kind of emotion, he feels tired of people, he knows that, but would he become tired of you?

‘’Seunghan,’’ you moaned his name, pushing your hips down to his hand so he fucked you with his finger again.

He looked at your face, eyes glossy and red lips after all the kisses and how you bit them to not cry out loud, and he added one more.

‘’Why did you get involved yesterday?’’ he asked you again.

You couldn’t understand his words, it resonated inside your mind, but you couldn’t think of an exact answer with his fingers fucking you harder and faster.

‘’I couldn’t let him… he was bothering you…’’ you said as you could.

‘’Good’’ he said, still fingering you, ‘’Will you ignore me outside again?’’

You were moving in unison with his hand, meeting him each time he pushed his fingers and his palm pressed your clit.

‘’No,’’ you cried, feeling that tight sensation form in your abdomen again, more intense, painful.

‘’Good, now cum’’ he ordered.

You cried on his shoulder pretty loud when he gave you permission, you didn’t know you would need one to have an orgasm, maybe that was why you couldn’t do it on your own, but it was life-changing how real, intense, and amazing, pleasure could be.

Trembling on his chest, your head still on his shoulder, and you trying to catch your breath, he made you face him to leave a couple of pecks on your lips again, almost loving and incredibly peaceful, as if you had done that many times before, making you feel comfy on his presence and with his hand still prying inside your underwear.

A couple of minutes later he helped you pull up your jeans again, but they were a mess, so he made you follow him to the laundry room and gave you a pair of clean boxers.

‘’Better than nothing’’ you said when he apologized for not having anything better.

He gave you a pair of his numerous grey pants and seeing how you were struggling to keep them in place, offered to walk you to the bus stop just in case.

‘’You looked good yesterday’’ you said to fill the silence after many minutes.

Seunghan regretted having offered to keep you company to the stop, walking on an uncomfortable silence that seemed to only affect him, you completely calm beside him, but when you said that, he smiled, feeling glad for doing something different for once.

‘’You too, that apron fits you’’ he said in a teasing tone. For him, it felt like flirting, for you, it felt like it too, but you weren’t used to it, so you only nodded and didn’t talk until your bus arrived.

Even if none of you said it, something had changed in the air after that.

When you met in the corridors, first he’d look at you from the distance, debating if he should get closer and talk or not, but then after much thinking (and many days doing the same thing, staring from feet away), he decided that saying hi to his classmate wasn’t anything out of the world.

The first time your eyes met his and he, instead of looking the other way, walked to you, you thought that something wrong was about to happen, sending a nervous shiver and making you grip onto your backpack straps.

‘’Hey, how was class?’’ he asked, just standing next to you while you waited for your water bottle to be filled.

‘’It was okay’’ you said, still not daring to see his face.

The first times were incredibly uncomfortable, but soon you got used to that, it was just talking after all, nothing special, so you let him talk to you about whatever crossed his mind until he was called by someone in his group, and you had started to accept him more, trying to maintain a decent conversation at least, all innocent and he being cordial with one of his many classmates.

In his house, however, he’d corner you and get you all heated until the others arrived, and when they left, he’d finger you until you came over his hand and cried on his neck.

You didn’t say anything when that happened, accepting him just like when he kissed you the first weeks, and like that, another routine had been formed.

From the first time he gave you a pair of his boxers, he washed your dirty pair of panties to give them back to you the next time he saw you, but that next time you’d leave another dirty pair again (more like, he would snatch them from your hands before you could say anything), changing into the clean pair he had washed, so the new routine would consist in you cumming over his fingers, leaving your wet underwear, and he washing it to have it ready for you the next time.

He never told you because you didn’t ask, but every time you left your panties, he would smell your orgasm on them, jerking off with the picture of you opening your legs for him until he came over the fabric, and appreciating the look of your wet spot with his cum over it, he’d wash them carefully by hand.

You still haven’t fucked.

Things were getting too intimate for Seunghan even if you hadn’t had sex, and he loved it, he loved how you left something yours in his house, he loved to be the only one giving you pleasure, and the only one seeing your face when you had an orgasm, but he had started to ask himself, what did that mean?

He wasn’t your boyfriend, you weren’t his girlfriend, and he enjoyed that silent pact at the start, but so much time had passed that it had started to confuse him.

Next week would be the last reunion before the big presentation, and after that, what would make you go to his house? Did he have to ask you out? Could he really let himself be seen with you in public?

In the confidence of his room, he didn’t have to give anyone an explanation, not even you since you never asked for one, but out there he doubted it could stay like that. He could already notice how people looked at him when he talked to you in the corridor like a mere classmate, what would they say if they knew all he did to you in his house?

Seunghan was so lost, he couldn’t understand any of his actions, not his body making him run to you in public, his mouth rambling every time he had you near, or what he was doing there in front of your work at that moment.

You could go on your own without problem, you’ve been doing it for weeks, you knew his address and his house like the palm of your hand, so he couldn’t understand why all his thoughts told him to go and wait for you to finish your shift and then walk you to his house.

He was looking down at his feet, dusting the dust out of the floor as if it was his job.

His spotless sneakers were kicking air by that point, and he didn’t know if to stay or leave, telling himself to just walk in and order something and pretend he was passing by.

‘’Seunghan?’’ you asked before he could even decide.

You had a couple of plastic bags on each hand that seemed heavy, sure you didn’t only took orders and washed dishes, but he didn’t imagine they would also send you to buy stuff.

‘’Oh, hey’’ he said, trying to act nonchalant, ‘’I was just passing by…’’ you hadn’t asked anything and he was already giving you an answer ‘’and I remembered your shift was about to end so…’’

He had talked incredibly fast, and you almost didn’t understand the last part, but you heard shift and end, so, blinking, you nodded to his words.

‘’I see’’ you said, and silence came to surround you again, ‘’well, it’s true my shift was about to finish, I just had to leave this inside, we can go together to your house if you want’’.

Seunghan exhaled, thankful for you to talk.

‘’Okay then’’ he smiled, giving a few awkward steps to you.

You were pretty close to the local, you were in front of it and only had to cross the street, yet he couldn’t see you struggling with the bags, so taking them from your hands, he walked you inside, only giving them back because you had to leave them in the kitchen.

Sitting in one of the booths, he checked his phone to wait for you.

It somehow felt natural, waiting for you to then go back to his house, and he had a knot in his throat forming with that thought.

‘’Seunghan?’’ he lifted his gaze from his mindlessly scrolling to see the same old friend he had told to never call him again after the incident, ‘’what are you doing here?’’ he then said, looking at him weird out by seeing him alone.

‘’Soobin…’’ Seunghan murmured, he hadn’t expected to see him at all.

After that day he stopped contacting Seunghan just like he had asked, and he had totally forgotten about him until that moment, making him nervous because Seunghan didn’t know how to act with him anymore now that he had seen his uncool, angry and exasperated side.

‘’Are you waiting for someone?’’ he asked.

Seunghan left his phone on the table and, not knowing what to say, only nodded.

‘’I see… well, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, I made you go through an uncomfortable moment that day, sorry.’’

Not believing what he had just heard, Seunghan, lost at words, only nodded again.

‘’I was really an asshole’’ he laughed, making Seunghan laugh too.

‘’It’s okay, I shouldn’t have reacted like that, I’m sorry too’’ Seunghan finally said.

Standing and giving him his hand, both of them laughed and punched each other’s shoulders.

‘’But tell me the truth, you know that girl, right? The waitress who told me to go and fuck myself’’ Soobin said, laughing even more with the memory.

Seunghan didn’t know what to answer, pushing both hands to his pockets, he bit the inside of his cheek and, contrary to all he was thinking, denied.

‘’Not really’’ Seunghan said, looking at his feet and seeing the light reflection of his blue shirt over his white sneakers, without thinking he had worn the same shirt he had used that day.

‘’Uhm, if you say so’’ Soobin said unconvinced, ‘’she said you had classes together though.’’

Surprised, Seunghan stayed silent, and before he could explain himself, a girl had called Soobin, who said a quick goodbye and ran to her without looking back.

Seunghan saw the other smile at the girl and take her hand, proudly taking her bag from her and putting it on his shoulder as if it was his own.

He seemed happy, and not like an asshole anymore, what seemed unbelievable until that day, making him think that, maybe he was the only one who would never change.

He didn’t understand why he had denied knowing you, he was the one who told you to not pretend to not know him in public, and you had been true to your words, while he, even if hadn’t promised the same thing, felt like a liar.

You came out minutes later, and he had never been grateful to the world for not having you close at every moment, but in that moment, he was, because at least you hadn’t heard how pathetic he was, again.

‘’My boss gave you this, says thank you for carrying the bags’’ you showed him a can of beer, ‘’tsk, I was the one who carried them all the way here.’’

You looked incredibly offended, and accepting it, Seunghan looked behind you, where a big man met his eyes and gave him a thumbs up before he could say anything, and suddenly, he was laughing from the bottom of his heart again.

You smiled with him for a second, and walking out of the local, he told himself to stop being such a coward.

Walking in silence, Seunghan had both hands on his jeans pockets, while you had them over your backpack handles.

‘’I can carry your backpack if you want’’ Seunghan offered.

You denied, ‘’It’s okay, I can do it.’’

‘’I should be clearer, what I meant to say was that I want to carry your backpack’’ he said.

The sun was going down and he could see the orange lights of the sunset, tons of lights were starting to appear thanks to the numerous businesses around there, and he wanted to look at them, but his entire attention was on the way a little touch of red started to appear on your cheeks.

‘’Okay’’ you said, passing him your backpack and letting him carry it for you.

‘’It’s still early, we can buy some snacks before going, is there anything you want?’’ he asked, sliding his arms on the handles, and letting it sit on his back.

It was a bit tight, used to be carried only by you, but he wore it like he could.

‘’I’m okay, I just had something’’ you tried to not look at him, looking at the pavement instead.

He let you go a step in front of him, you had shorter legs and he had no problem reaching you, but he let you, you seemed to want that little distance, and that way he could also see more things of you he hadn’t noticed before.

Your hands didn’t have anything else to grab now that he was wearing your backpack and they seemed unnatural on your sides playing with nothing. Now that he noticed, you were always doing something with them, whether it was writing on your keyboard, writing something, or simply scratching any surface that you had near, but right there you had nothing, and he thought that maybe, he should hold your hand to fill that emptiness.

Not a maybe anymore, his hand wanted to interlock with yours, and slowly approaching you, he almost touched the side of your left one.

‘’If you want to buy something we can stop in that convenience store’’ you pointed to the store next to you, open and almost empty, and he woke up from all the ideas that were lurking inside his mind. To hold your hand, wasn’t that a bit too much for someone who wasn’t your boyfriend?

‘’Yeah,’’ he said, walking in and buying the first chips he saw just to buy something.

You were waiting for him outside, checking your phone, and he couldn’t stop seeing the way your eyelashes were really dark, and how you, just like him, bit the inside of your cheek pretty often.

When he moved his eyes from you to the cashier, he talked before he could think, ‘’One box of condoms too, please’’.

The other boy didn’t even flinch, too used to hearing that sentence, and scanned the little code on the machine.

Seunghan shoved the receipt and the little box into his back pocket, brushing the bottom of your backpack in the way, and his heart started to pound while he held the plastic bag in his hand.

‘’Chips with coffee?’’ you asked with a soft smile, and he showed you a wide one back.

‘’I bought coke today’’ he said, walking next to you the rest of the way to his house.

Getting to his house, he opened the door and let you walk in first, watching you take off your shoes and then turn to him, waiting for him to do the same.

When you showed him your hand, he didn’t understand what you wanted, so he gave you the plastic bag with chips.

‘’Seunghan, my backpack’’ you said, making him release an embarrassed little smile before taking it off and giving it to you.

You grabbed it, and going to his kitchen, you left the can of beer your boss had given to him inside his fridge.

Seunghan walked behind you, looking at you move around with such normality, you had been going there for weeks, and that was the last reunion before the presentation next week, so of course you’d be comfortable enough by that point.

Things with the work were going smoothly, different from all the ideas that circled his mind about you. You had made that tedious job bearable, and he wished all his other projects could go as easy as that one.

They would arrive still in a considerable time, and seeing you bend down to inspect his fridge, he gulped, seeing the little outline of your body swimming inside that oversized t-shirt.

‘’You bought Sprite too’’ you affirmed before closing his door, ‘’what’s the occasion?’’

‘’It’s the last meeting, I thought it would be nice to give them something that wasn’t instant coffee’’ he murmured.

You walked to him, looking at his hand organizing the bags over his counter and folding the plastic bag from the convenience store into a drawer. ‘’The last meeting…’’ you murmured too, not believing that so much time had passed, and how probably that would be your last day together like that in his kitchen.

Catching your attention, a piece of paper was showing in his back pocket, and you shouldn’t have done it, you don’t know why you did it, but you grabbed it, it easily slipped from his jeans without making a noise, so he didn’t notice it, and you and your wandering eyes read what was written in the little paper.

Nothing seemed out of normal, the different chips were listed with their price right next to them, but one word caught your attention.

You had never bought it before, but you recognized the name of the brand, it was popular and all the stores had it, so you had seen it in the health section in the supermarket and posters of it in convenience stores.

Not wanting to make it obvious that you knew, you let the paper fall to the floor when he stood up again.

‘’That fell’’ you said, and he, following your eyes, saw the white paper on the floor, picking it up and making it a ball before he tossed it to the trash can there in his kitchen.

You swallowed the saliva accumulating in your throat, and he didn’t say anything, he didn’t know you had read it, so when the air changed and he met your eyes staring at him, he smiled, thinking it was you wanting a kiss from him.

Getting close to you, things were different this time, he was going just for a kiss, there wasn’t much time before the others arrived, but you put your arms around his neck and opened your mouth, wanting a deep one this time.

Sliding his tongue and caressing yours, one of his hands went to your back, feeling the clasp of your bra through your shirt, while the other shamelessly went to the small of your back, drawing lines and circles just to keep his hands busy.

You whimpered and he couldn’t help but push his mouth even more against yours, pressing you to his counter and groaning when he heard another whimper come from you.

‘’The others are going to arrive in any second… I’m sorry’’ he said.

‘’Why are you sorry?’’ you asked.

‘’Because I can’t make you cum, there’s not enough time’’ he sighed before giving you a peck over your lips.

‘’Later then?’’ your voice almost broke and he saw your brown eyes gleaming, thinking how they were the prettiest pair he had seen, and how they were focused solely on him.

He nodded, ‘’Later.’’

When the others got there, they all focused on giving the presentation the last touches, and once they were done, they all celebrated with the chips and the sodas Seunghan had bought.

‘’I’ve never had a group work as much as this one, I’m thankful to all of you for coming here even with your busy agendas, thank you for everything’’ Seunghan said, making them all smile, and of course, the praises for him didn’t take much to appear.

Everyone left not much later, and being alone, you helped him recollect the cans and then step over them to recycle them.

Finishing the work in silence, you helped him clean, and once nothing else was there to do, Seunghan made you follow him to his room.

You haven’t been there many times, but you remember it, you remember the dark blue walls, and his black furniture, especially the way even his window frame was black too.

It looked like someone had designed it for him, knowing his style, just like his whole house, and you couldn’t help but feel the difference with your place when after spending hours there you had to ride the bust to your little studio apartment.

But Seunghan had never shown any sign of caring about the difference in your situations, he knew you worked in a half bar half chicken restaurant, that you used cheap softener for your clothes, and that you repeated outfits many times, but he had never commented about it.

You couldn’t help but feel kind of special, and just that day, when you saw him waiting for you in front of your workplace, you felt your heart flinch, because not even in your wildest dreams you had thought you would see that scene.

You knew him enough to know he usually overthought things about others and how they saw him, needing to appear perfect all the time, but even with that in mind, just perhaps, things were different with you.

Closing his door while you saw the pictures he had on his desk, you didn’t say a word once he got behind you and one of his hands rested on your abdomen.

You let him kiss you again, receiving him and giving him your full attention, to him, to his fingers, and to the way he wasn’t containing anymore.

He made you walk to his bed with him, and pushing you there, he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

‘’I’ll take it off’’ he said, and when you nodded, he showed you a smile, ‘’I’ll finally see what you have there.’’

‘’Shut up’’ you laughed and lifted your arms, so he took it off.

Showing him your chest, you felt exposed, it was the first time you let him see you like that, he had sneaked a hand before, but he never took off your t-shirts, not even your jeans, touching you inside your underwear and making you cum with his fingers before he gave you your clean pair of panties and let you change yourself while he turned to watch a wall or went to put his shoes on while you changed alone in his room.

His eyes on your chest made you conscious, and he noticed it, but even if he wanted to stop so you felt comfortable, he couldn’t.

‘’They’re pretty’’ he said, and you gave him a half smile, not daring to see his eyes inspecting you.

His hand caressed your cheek, so you looked at him again, and trailing down the valley between your breasts, he smiled when you whimpered at his hands cupping your tits.

Nipping the naked skin that your bra let him see, he felt the softness of that part of your body, looking up to your face to not lose your reactions.

He took off the pretty blue shirt you liked to see him wearing, and that part of him naked, he showed you his tender skin, white, spotless and as pretty as him.

Of course, he’d look perfect without clothes too.

He didn’t unclasp your bra, he pulled it down, which felt uncomfortable, but you couldn’t say anything when his lips went to your nipples and left soft licks over them, making you arch so your chest continued meeting his mouth.

Untouched down there, you were sure your panties were already a mess since he kissed you in his kitchen hours before, and needing him, your hand went to his erection.

You weren’t that bold before, you could press your cunt to it when he asked you to sit on his lap, but you never touched it.

You wanted to touch it so bad, you let him keep attending your chest while you grabbed him over his pants.

‘’I want to touch you’’ you admitted, and he, without the smile you always saw, pushed your hand away.

‘’Not yet’’ he said, moving away and unbuttoning your jeans.

You, again, helped him to take it off you, lifting your hips so you helped him.

With hands sweating, he tosses them to the side and sighs glad that they didn’t slip from his hands. You looked so fucking good under him, nude bra down enough for him to see your tits, and a blue pair of panties that definitely didn’t match, but for him, they looked amazing together, because you were wearing them, and that was enough.

Looking at you, he can’t help but admire all the little places he wants to mark, the side of your neck, your collarbone, your chest, your tummy, and his eyes go all the way down until he sees the inside of your thighs.

Creamy, soft, sweet, they were calling for him, and without saying anything, he went down to taste them.

You let him, you just let him, and adoring the way you wordlessly opened your legs for him, he bit you there, breathing over your underwear the aroma he recognized a bit too well, leaving little pecks until, after pushing your panties to the side, left a single long one over your clit.

Glowing under his bedroom light, he can’t help but give big licks, down and up, recollecting your juices to taste you properly, and like he had been wanting for so long every time he smelled your panties in the confidence of his room.

All those times making you cum with his fingers and containing himself from dropping to his knees and drinking your orgasm to push another one had come to that, and he couldn’t stop now.

Tongue flat against your clit, he made you squirm, but maintaining you on your place with his arms under your thighs and his palms over your tummy, he made you accept him.

‘’Wait- Seunghan’’ you said, propping on your elbows and looking down at him, the sight of his dark eyes meeting yours and his mouth working so eagerly over you making your head spin, and one of your hands, needing to touch him, went to his hair to feel him.

With shaking hips, you met his mouth whenever his chin went upwards, pulsating against half of his face and leaving a mess.

Your pretty pussy lips had a reddish colour, furious with him and his teasing, so to alleviate them a little bit, he inserted two of his fingers in one thrust.

You didn’t need preparation for that, he knew you could take them, so many times cumming over them, your entrance recognized his fingers as an invited guess, so you could only cry when that little place that he always found squelched.

Cursing, you let your head fall, and arching your back, you came with his fingers and his mouth, legs almost closing around his face but being stopped by his big hands.

He left a mark of wetness over the place he touched with the fingers he had pushed on your insides, and you knew you were dripping all over his bed, yet you couldn’t care less.

He pushed down his pants and his underwear, kicking them away from his feet.

‘’Come here’’ he called you, and you, still not back in your senses but always listening to him, sat in the border of his bed as you could.

With drowsy eyes, you gulped when his member stood in front of you. Looking amazing, you didn’t know if dicks could be pretty, but that was the only adjective that came to your head when you saw it.

Pink, veiny, and long, the tip was slightly thicker and darker, and you waited for him to tell you what to do.

His palm wrapped him in front of you with one hand, and with the other, he grasped on your hard nipples begging for more attention, while your pussy was leaving a big spot over his bedsheets with how wet you were after he made you cum once.

‘’First use your hand, okay?’’ he said, and you didn’t need to hear anything else before your hand went to his member, ‘’you seem to like it’’ he snickered.

He didn’t want to tease you, he didn’t mean to, he’s not used to doing that, not even with his exes that could easily form comebacks and throw them at him, but with you, he couldn’t help it, so gorgeous, quiet, and always accepting, his ugly side kept floating out, and he liked your voice telling him to shut up or the almost mute giggles that escaped your chest.

‘’I like it’’ you said, and he licked his dry lips, watching you attentively. The way your wrist did its best to move in and out, and seeing your mouth get closer to his shaft, opening and letting the tip touch your tongue, made him groan.

‘’Take your bra off’’ he ordered, needing to see your tits bouncing with the little force you were using to jerk him off.

He suddenly remembered each time he jerked off to the smell of your panties and the memory of your eyebrows frowning when you came thanks to him, and he smiled, proud of seeing you so eager to attend him too.

His little doll, after all those orgasms, would you say yes to anything he said?

When you toss your bra away without stopping your licks to the tip of his cock, he knows the answer is a yes.

‘’Try to take a bit more’’ he inhaled hastily and, helping you do your job more comfortably, with his hands he pushed the loose strings of hair away from your face.

The first day he didn’t understand why his hand moved on its own to push that hair behind your ear, but now he sees that little dot on your cheek, close to your ear, and he thinks that he did it to see it without any obstacle covering it.

You opened your mouth for him and let him slide deeper, half his cock is inside you, and you looked at him with teary drunk eyes.

He moans at the image, so pretty for him, all for him, he’s the only one who had seen you from that angle, and he hopes it continues being like that.

Your cheeks hollowed and you tried to take more of him, stopping your lungs from taking air in so you could suck him better, and he could see it, he could see you struggling and doing your best for him, so he pressed a thumb on your cheek to show his approbation.

You thought he was getting bored, his usual smile was not there, and his eyes were looking at yours too much, so you stopped to make sure you were not doing all that for nothing, ‘’Sorry, am I bad?’’ you asked with insecurity pouring out of your eyes.

He shook his head, his little genius was all nervous and unconfident, and he felt like he had hit the fucking jackpot seeing such a tranquil and collected girl ask him if she was doing a good job at sucking his cock.

‘’You’re perfect’’ he assured, guiding his cock back to your mouth, to which you answer by letting a bit of spit over his tip, smearing it with your lips kissing him and taking him again.

Where the fuck did you learn that? he asked himself, but with the security of you not doing it from someone who isn’t him, he only sighed and let you continue.

Seconds later he felt himself getting closer, and he can’t let himself cum in your mouth, he needs to do it in your insides, so telling you to stop, you do as your told, watching him in your spot searching his jeans and the box of condoms he had bought in the convenience store on the way to his house.

He opened the package with his mouth, and you remembered all those times you’d heard you shouldn’t do it like that, and echoing inside your mind, you pushed those voices to the back when you pulled down your panties and kicked them under his bed.

‘’This is how you put one on, the next time you’ll do it for me, so watch’’ he said, and you nodded, juices leaking with the idea of doing it for him the next time.

He teaches you how to grab the pointy start with his fingers, and how, with the help of his other hand, you’ll have to slide the latex all over his length, until it ends a finger away from the base of his cock.

You batted your eyelashes without thinking, imagining how the pressure of him opening your insides would feel, and to that your thighs shook with excitement.

He kissed you to take away the last doubts you could have, not knowing that you were yearning for it as much as him.

Helping you lie on his bed with him between your legs, he pushed you more into the mattress so he could kneel over the same bedsheets you’ve been dripping all over.

‘’Tell me if you want to stop, I know it can hurt at first, but I’m confident you’ll take me without problem’’ he said, brushing his tip over your clit and then going lower to put it on your entrance, only pushing his thick tip inside, stretching you enough to make your breath get all messy and your mouth fall open, pushing the air out of your lungs with the sensation of his cock finally fucking you.

‘’Fuck’’ you cried, feeling more of him slide in, and he tried to not show how much he was feeling to not make you nervous, but your gummy walls were so hot he felt like he was melting inside you, and that stole the last sanity he had, biting his lips to not let any embarrassing sound out.

‘’I told you, you could take me’’ he said proudly when his entire dick was inside you, and you cried a needy yes and searched for his eyes to look at how good you were being for him.

Your legs were as wide open as they could, and you pulled him in for a kiss before he rutted into you.

He wanted to be soft, it was your first time, and he knows how important it is for most girls, but you make him so crazy he’s forgotten how he did to not act on his wishes anymore.

His hips clasped with yours at that pace and you cried with each thrust, trying to not be too loud with the hits, however, the curve of his cock was making punching a certain place that feels more intense perfectly, and soon you were gripping onto his bedsheets to get a hold of yourself.

His mouth launched to your neck, chest pressing yours while fucking you, and he started to leave little spots on your neck and collarbone while one of his hands moved from your hip to the wrist of one of your hands, holding it there to feel you closer.

You were practically stuck to him, yet he needed to feel you more, and soon he was pushing your thighs to your chest to watch and confirm how deep inside you he was.

Looking at his cock disappearing inside your plump lips, he frowns because its all so perfect, you under him, taking him after all those weeks, and his thrusts became harder, touching the deepest part of your insides to pull out until the only thing connecting you to him was his fat tip, to then harshly pound into you again.

It’s all so messy he can see you dripping on his bed and how the lube appears dull compared to the glow of your juices on his pelvis.

A moan almost escaped his throat when he saw little tears falling on your cheeks, he knows they’re not from pain, and that’s what pushes him to let his grunts and moans out.

‘’Taking me so good, I’m the only one who can make you like this, right?’’ he asked, but it sounds almost like begging, and you didn’t dare to tease him as he did with you.

‘’You’re the only one’’ you cried while his dick kept punching your insides.

‘’Fuck, I’m going to cum’’ he warned, covering you with his body but not crushing you, his weight doesn’t affect you and you wanted more, so the hand he wasn’t holding moved to his back and scratched him, making him hiss and move his hand to between your bodies, to thumb your clit and push you to cum with him.

Twitching inside you, he came while murmuring a soft my girl, and you tried to ignore those words, thinking that was just something that came to him because of pleasure, and that he would forget later.

He fell over you, this time he felt heavier, but you still didn’t mind, and pressing the tip of your fingers over the scratches you left on his back, you sighed, relaxed to have him there.

‘’Sorry,’’ you said after, when you were on his bed and he was showing you his back, only wearing his boxers and searching for your shirt while you were covering yourself with his bedsheets.

‘’Why?’’ he asked curious of your words.

‘’Your back’’ you answered, and he turned to see the side of his back in his mirror, which indeed, had lines done by your nails.

He smiled and walked to you, sitting beside you and caressing your cheek before he trailed his fingers to your neck, touching the purple spots he has left.

‘’Then I’m sorry too’’ he said, making you smile too.

‘’Maybe we should stop saying sorry’’ you laughed.

‘’Yeah, maybe we should’’ he answered, laughing too.

He didn’t know what else to say, but he didn’t want to be a coward anymore, and he wanted to say something because he wanted to, not because he thought you were the one who wanted to hear him saying it, and if he was being honest with himself, he knew you wouldn’t like him to say what he was about to anyway, because you, just like he does often, think that you know what he’s thinking, so he guessed that you were probably thinking a way to leave his house to not be a bother to him, but he didn’t want that, and he knew you wouldn’t know it unless he said it.

‘’Stay with me’’ he said, it sounded almost like a command, but you knew it was a question.

‘’Okay then’’ you said, accepting to stay with him, sounding nonchalant, like he usually did, but you looked as relieved as him, and he felt glad that he finally took a step further.

#riize x reader #seunghan x reader #riize smut #seunghan smut #riize fluff #riize scenarios #riize imagines

[your-gf-lucy]

calm in chaos

this idea has been stuck in my head for a while so i decided to write it out also i think this is such a cute idea. everyone thank @m3ntallyunstable34 for telling me to write this i srsly would not have otherwise. also im unaware of the differences between panic attacks and anxiety attacks but I used to have panic attacks as a child bc of traumatic stuff so idk

pairing: theodore nott x gn!reader

warnings: panic attacks, angst (ish), fluff, hurt comfort, not proof read, my writing lol and that's about it

summary: you get reminded of some not so pleasant memories and the one person you never expected to even know of your existence helps you get through it.

call me crazy but i really like this one 🤭🤭

The attack wasn't a pleasant memory. Well, of course it wasn't. It fucked you up so bad that there wasn't a day that went by where you didn't see his face in your nightmares. He who almost killed you. He who lied to you. He who was called Voldemort.

Sure, being reminded of it always ruined your day, but the extremity of what happened today because of that memory fucked you up even more.

You were sitting down in the library doing your work until it had gotten dark. Your friends had left the library to go to their respective house parties. You couldn't be bothered to go what with all the assignments you had piled up that you had to work on. You were alone and it was quiet. Everything was alright. You were exhausted so you started to pack away. Everything was alright. You got up to walk to your dorm. Everything was alright.

And then it just wasn't.

You closed your eyes for a brief second and then you saw his face. And just like that all the concealed emotions were revealed.

Your body was racked with fear and the more you tried not to think about it, the more vivid the memories became. You tried to control them, tried to keep your emotions at bay but eventually, you stopped trying to fight it.

Your breathing became unsteady. Now was the worst possible time for a panic attack. All your friends were at parties and you had no one to help distract you.

Fuck.

You didn't have much time. You rushed up the stairs to the astronomy tower desperate for the slightest hint of fresh air. You stumbled into the astronomy tower just in time. Your breath was heavy, it was getting really hard to breathe.

Your body started shaking. The frozen air didn't help the shivering.

Fuck.

You really needed a friend, or even just a simple, pleasant distraction. You tried to breathe in, tried to calm yourself down but nothing seemed to help. You were going to give up.

You knew the panic attack would win. You knew he would win.

And just as you were about to give up, you felt a hand on yours.

"Hey, you okay?" you heard a voice from your left side. Turning to your left, you saw a tall body towering over you. Theodore Nott.

You knew him. Everyone knew him. Everyone wanted him. He didn't seem like the type of person to give anyone attention. Especially not you.

Yet here he was, your knight in shining armour. Talking to you. Looking at you. Caring for you.

It had been a long time since you had felt like someone cared for you. You had friends, sure, but you were never really close with them. You knew they'd leave you dead if it set them apart. You never felt as close to them as you felt with Theo at this moment. You'd never talked to him, but he was attractive and even you couldn't deny that..

You weren't even sure if he knew your name.

"Are you having a panic attack?" He repeated.

"Yeah, yeah- i- sorry- h-how do you know?" You said in between short breaths. You didn't want to be so vulnerable around him. You figured he'd make fun of you with his friends.

"Well you not being able to breathe is definitely a sign." Theo chuckled.

"Oh yeah, i guess" you smiled slightly.

"Okay, who's your least favourite professor?" Theo asked.

What? You were having a panic attack and he was concerned who your least favourite professor was? priorities

"Oh erm it's got to be umbridge." You replied.

"Oh my, that woman is a nightmare. Why do you hate her so much?" Theo continued.

"She's annoying. She likes to believe she's in power. That she's the best. But in reality, she's a stuck-up, irritating try-hard who is only a teacher so she can shout at children." You replied.

"Oh, I couldn't agree with you more," Theo replied. "Feeling better?"

You seemed to have been so occupied in insulting your defence against the dark arts teacher you seemed to have forgotten about your panic attack. Your breathing was now much more steady and your body didn't seem to shake as much.

He extended his hand to grasp yours, but before he could, you pressed yourself against his frame, embracing him tightly. Your body was racked with sobs. He was shocked at your response but quickly regained his composure and pulled you in even tighter.

"Shh" he whispered in your ear. "You'll be okay"

It was mostly quiet except for when he whispered comforting affirmations in your ear.

After a couple of minutes of you staying like this, your body completely stopped shaking and you felt stronger like it wasn't just you against the world anymore. It felt like you had someone who cared about you. Someone who was there for you. Someone who listened to you.

"Thank you. Really. I'm sure i would've passed out if it weren't for you." You smiled at him.

"It's alright." He replied.

"How did you know all this?" you asked

"What do you mean?" he questioned looking at you quizzically.

"You knew what to do when i had the panic attack. How?" you repeated.

"I have them. My mum taught me how to deal with them before she erm." Theo explained stopping abruptly at the end.

"Oh wow erm sorry"

"No you're good." He replied.

"Well thanks again, I owe you one." You said.

"No problem y/n." He replied.

He knew your name.

Theodore Fucking Nott knew your name.

#theo nott x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott fic #theo nott #panic attack #theo nott x you #theo nott imagine #theo nott x y/n #theodore nott angst #slytherin boys #niccolo govender #lorenzo zurzolo #baby #hurt comfort #luce posts 💌

[lokideservesahug]

Perfect pair

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-Pairings: Lewis Hamilton x famous!actress!Reader

Warnings: Maybe a swear word or two, idk. There is loads of mentions of dogs so Im sorry if you're allergic :(.

Notes: I saw a tik tok (by the user ayloparis) about celebrities seen on raya, the celeb dating app. And Lewis was just there (middle photo above)!?!? And it stuck in my mind (also Ben Hardy was there aswell, how random).

Summary: When you moved to Monaco, the last thing you expected was your greatest fan and a fan of a race car driver to almost force you to go on a date with said F1 driver. But when you find that same man on a dating app, it doesn't hurt that talk to him; especially because he's so gorgeous.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: Great awards weekend with an even better ending of going home to my best friend🤍

Liked by hamm4rtim4, thelomlyn and 3,987,091 others

View all comments

User1: Girls be saying the most heartfelt, sweetest things ever about someone and that someone ends up being their dog...

↳Yourusername: 😮It's me! I'm girls!

↳User2: Dont blame you tbh. I also love your dog Y/N

User3: One of these days, She'll post a soft launch (it'll never happen)

↳User4: Nothing can ever get rid of her baby from her posts!

Thelomlyn: Y/NNNNNNNN?

↳ Yourusername: You're back!!

↳ Thelomlyn: You know it. Also its probably a stretch but you know you said that you'd trust me with almost anything?

↳ Yourusername: OH no... But yeah?

↳ Thelomly/n: Well a friend of mine (hamm4rtim4) and I think we've found the perfect guy for you

↳ Yourusername: Oh... I'm intrigued. Who do you think this guy perfect for me is then?

↳ Hamm4rtim4: Sir Lewis Hamilton

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

📍Circuit de Monaco, Monte Carlo

Yourusername: What a great weekend! El made a new friend @roscoelovescoco. And well done to his dad @lewishamilton for managing to get the win, it was an amazing race. 🤍

Liked by Lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco and 3,678,905 others

View all 6,876 comments

Roscoelovescoco: It's was lovely's to see's you's!

↳ Yourusername: And it was lovely to see you. Although I think El misses you already. She looks devastated without you!

↳ Roscoelovescoco: Well's we've God's to see's you's soon then!

↳ Yourusername: I wouldn't have it any other way🤍

↳User1: Awww that's so adorable

↳User 2: Lewis x Y/N and Roscoe x El. It's meant to be!!!

Lewishamilton: Thank you for your support (and for dogsitting Roscoe).

↳ Yourusername: Any time. And like I said we'll done, you did truly brilliantly this weekend 🤍

↳ Lewishamilton: ❤

↳User3: And so we're meant to believe that they aren't dating!?!?!?!?

↳User4: Ikr. They make such a good (and attractive pair)

Liked by Lewishamilton

User5: Idk why they hid it. Because if I was dating acadamy award winning actress Y/N Y/L/N, I'd never shut up about it.

Liked by Lewishamilton

↳User6: LEWIS LIKING OMD. That has to be a PR concern? RIGHT!??!?!

Mercedesamgf1: Thank you for all of your support this weekend, glad to see you found the right team to support first time. 🖤

↳ Yourusername: It wasn't difficult when you have a certain Hamilton to convince me!

↳ Mercedesamgf1: 🤨

↳ Yourusername: Yeah Roscoe is the best person in the sport!!!

↳User7: Even admin is suspicious lmao

↳User8: She thinks she's so sly...

User9: I'm just saying if they get together, then their dogs can live together and they can all live happily ever after.

Liked by Lewishamilton, yourusername

User10: Lewis likeing all of the comments about him and Y/N is so unserious yet kinda sweet.

↳User11: Like yeah he wants to show her off and let their dogs have kids as they grow old together (they aren't 100% dating)

↳User12: Awww them growing old together with their little bulldogs is adorable

Liked by yourusername

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Lewishamilton

Lewishamilton: Thank you everyone for helping me to get in that top step once again. Its been really tough the past few years but by putting lots of time and effort in it clearly payed off.

Thank you to all the mechanics for your endless work. Thank you to Toto for putting up with my constant feedback, thank you George for helping defend and let me keep that top position today. And most importantly, thank you to my 'personal cheerleader' Y/N. Who has helped to support me, bring me joy and just be a beacon of hope throughout the turbulent season start. I love you ❤

Liked by Yourusername, Mercedesamgf1 and 5,897,098 others

View all 57,764 comments

Yourusername: Love you Lew. You're amazing🤍

↳ Lewishamilton: ❤

↳User1: Awww they've been hiding in plain sight (everyone knew)

User2: Shut up that is adorable. And I love the Y/N effect. You can't have a photo dump without El

↳Yourusername: Why would you want to? Unless it has Roscoe in (I love that dog sm)

↳Roscoelovescoco: Awww's I's love's you's too's

Mercedesamgf1: Felling left out rn🥲

↳User3: I love you admin

↳User4: Well done admin

↳Yourusername: We love you admin

↳Mercedesamgf1: Aww thanks guys. Love you more!

User5: Whoever would have expected this!?!?!? Me. I did.

User6: Does this mean we'll get Lewis in a blockbuster film

↳ Yourusername: He can sing, he can dance... question is, can he act?🤔

User7: This is such a random pairing. I love it.

↳ Yourusername: You can thank @thelomlyn and @hamm4rtim4 for that

↳ Lewishamilton: Thank you you two

↳Thelomlyn: I think you just killed @hamm4rtim4. Oh my gosh. This is unreal.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading! As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Also my inbox is open if you ever have a request!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton social media au #lewis hamilton smau

[vivwritesfics]

Hi, idk if you write requests for polySimi but I’d love that? Maybe some angst??

Okay i've been saving this one bc i've never written for kimi bc im scared i won't capture him correctly in my writing. So this is just polysimi... stuff

-kimi met her first, fell in love with her first. they were together long before he was teammates with sebastian. the iceman and his lady. it wasn't often she joined him at the paddock, with a life of her own, but she tried to go to at least four races at year

-when seb joined the team, she started coming around more. she and kimi had discussed polyamory before, but they'd never let it go further than a conversation

-now, with seb coming around, it seemed like she wanted it to go further than a conversation

-kimi knew that seb was a great guy. they'd been racing together since sebs first race. he knew that they got along, but he didn't know if it was something seb wanted

-spoiler, it was

-on track, it was like they were competing for her attention. they knew she loved them equally, even if she was seen only to be rooting for kimi

-when seb was on the podium without him, she and Kimi were having their own private celebrations. the three of them celebrated together later as well, in the secrecy of hers and kimi's hotel room

-they had to keep the relationship under wraps. most of the time it felt like nobody but them would understand. so they didn't go public with it, kept it private for the three of them

-summers on the yacht hidden away from the world, every win being a private celebration

-eventually she gets pregnant

-of course she does, the three of them were like rabbits, fucking into the early hours of the morning

-they were safe, though. there were always condoms on hand until the three of them felt ready. which they had a long conversation about.

-neither cared who the family of the child was. it was their child, they wouldn't love it more or less depending on the father

-i can see the three of them in a quaint little house in the countryside, something that nobody would expect from two f1 drivers. It was small and cute, enough for the three of them

-they got dogs, two of them. i'm picturing two large breeds, maybe rescues

-their lives were perfect when it was the three of them, especially when it was the five of them (bc twins)

#sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel imagine #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel fluff #sebastian vettel x you #sebastian vettel x reader smut #sebastian vettel smut #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #kimi raikkonen #kimi raikkonen imagine #kimi raikkonen x reader #kimi raikkonen fluff #kimi raikkonen x you #kimi raikkonen smut #kimi raikkonen x reader smut #formula one #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #kr7 #kr7 imagine #kr7 x reader #sv5 #sv5 imagine #sv5 x reader #simi

[bloodreddemons]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7-8 (Finale) Hot Takes ~

I personally loved a lot of the Charlastor content in the beginning. So cute.

The deal Alastor purposed to Charlie was also very predictable. We already knew they were going to eventually make a deal but that deal in particular was just very predictable.

I think everyone knows this already but that "one little favor" that Alastor is going to ask of her is going to bite her in the ass. We don't know what he's going to ask but it's definitely gonna come back to haunt her.

She may even make a deal with him again possibly in the future, who knows.

I'm surprised Vaggie didn't know Angel's could be harmed or killed. Its weird that she also didn't know how to fight against one.

Rosie is a real gem and a wayyyyy better friend than Mimzy fucking is.

I love Carmilla & Vaggie's dynamic. I think they both are very much the same personality wise. I definitely can see Carmilla as a mother figure to her or at least a teacher to her, which she pretty much is.

To follow up, I loved Carmilla training Vaggie and helping her get her wings back. Out For Love was also really really good. I liked it a lot.

Never thought I'd hear Alastor call someone an old bitch but it was everything.

I knew Charlie was gonna forgive Vaggie regardless of anything but I love Auntie Rosie.

I didn't really like "Ready For This". I wish I did like it. Especially since it had Charlie, Alastor, & Rosie in it. Idk I liked Out For Love more.

Vox's commentary was funny asf but he's also such a hater. Not even a low-key one lmao.

The post-fight celebration and speech was actually very sweet. Although I wish there was more time and episodes that we could have seen more of the characters bond. I also wish there were more opportunities where we got to know them better.

I really thought Angel & Husk were gonna fuck this episode.

I wasn't expecting for Sir Pentious to say "I love you" to Cherri Bomb so soon and I also didn't need to know he had 2 dicks.

"More Than Anything" Chaggie version was pretty sweet. It'd be cool if there was a longer version idk if there is. They also kissed which was nice.

Adam & Lute are funny asf. Especially Adam. They may be horrible people but I just can't get over how funny they are. Even when they're about to massacre Charlie's people. Lol.

I wasn't expecting the war to be kinda epic. The shield that Alastor put up over the hotel kinda reminded me of the last Harry Potter. When they all put a shield around Hogwart's to protect everyone from the death eaters and voldemort.

Adam might just be the funniest character in this series dead or alive. Heaven or Hell.

It pisses me off how Charlie barely does anything in the fight. Like, this is her people and her fucking hotel as she keeps saying... yet everybody else but her is fighting. Wtf? Girl yo ass should be in Sloth.

I love Alastor & Adam's dynamic, their first impression of eachother is so hilarious. The fight between them was also very entertaining. I was really curious to see who would win.

I was actually kinda surprised that Alastor was defeated so easily. I honestly thought he was stronger than that, but tbh Adam is very powerful he's the fucking first man, extermination commander, and he already single handedly broke Alastor's shield.

People have pointed out Alastor's "normal" voice when his mic/staff breaks, because it's his voice without the radio filter. Imma be honest I wasn't that shocked at all, he just sounds the same to me, the radio filter just adds a cool effect.

Charlie really could have got tf up there and helped Alastor out. Idk if she thought he could handle himself or what but fuck.

SIR PENTIOUS KISSING CHERRI WAS AMAZING. WE WON. But then he "died"...

To follow up that sacrifice was anticlimactic at the same time. Mostly because of the way Adam just effortlessly zapped him out of existence.

I'm so disappointed in the "Charlie finally snaps" bit. I was literally dying to see this part in the series, where Charlie finally loses her shit and stands up for herself or whatevever....but it ended up being extremely disappointing and yet again, anticlimactic.

Charlie's transformation along with Razzle & Dazzle was kindaaa cool, however...her getting her ass kicked within like 0.3 fucking seconds was not. It was embarrassing for a demon of her status. I can understand Alastor, but seriously Charlie? You can't beat him? The clownery.

I loved the Vaggie & Lute fight. Let my girl Vaggie finally get her ones. Lute needs her ass beat disrespectfully for what she did.

Although...Lute was winning that fight, she was still holding her own and getting more hits in. I don't even think Carmilla's teaching's were working. Lmao damn. That bitch is fucking scrappy.

Vaggie should have just ended Lute. I know she's too good for that, but she really should have just killed that bitch. She left you for dead you should have just killed her.

Charlie stabbing Adam and standing her ground was badass, but that was kinda it. She still ends up almost getting choked out. Lame.

Charlie just isn't that powerful. 😒 Or at least as she's supposed to be. Maybe it's still not really shown to us, but so far she just isn't that threatening at all. Very disappointing.

Lucifer coming in kinda pissed me off. I wish Charlie could have actually handled everything herself without her dad having to come in and help her. I just feel like it'd be more impactful for her and her character.

Adam x Lucifer actually does seem kinda hot....just me???

Their fight was very entertaining despite already knowing who would come out on top. Hehe.

"All of Mankind came from these fucking nutts" is pure poetry.

Nifty is a menace and I have been saying it since the very beginning. If anyone should be running shit it should be her. Alastor is so feared but it should be herrrr.

I didn't like "The Show Must Go On" as a song but it was sweet in the sense that it was about Charlie and her found family helping her rebuild her hotel and still have the determination to keep going. Also it helps lead off into Season 2.

I'm fucking itching to know what deal is bothering Alastor and who he made it with. It's becoming more likely that it's with Lilith & that's who owns him.

I think it's obvious the deal possibly involve's Alastor to watch over or protect Charlie. Alastor is becoming bothered by having to do this because he literally almost fucking died.

I'm really worried about what Alastor is going to do when he's finally free and under no restraints from who controls him. I know Viv said Alastor isn't an antagonist but she could've just been keeping it a secret.

Alastor really might be a secret antagonist. He'll just be that surprise villain in the end that kinda comes out of nowhere but you still knew it was coming. I wouldn't trust him especially with what he said. Him pulling the strings can't be good.

I can't believe Sir Pentious got redeemed before Angel Dust, but still good for him! I'm so happy he got redeemed he truly is good and deserves it.

I was pissed asf when I saw Lilith in Heaven. Your daughter has been in HELL fucking struggling, while you've been sitting comfy up in heaven, the same place that is fucking YOUR people up!!! Helloooo??

My theory is that Lilith is Eve in disguise. I wholeheartedly believe that because something just feels off?? Y'all feel that too??? Lilith making a deal with Adam? Chilling up in Heaven? NAH MAN.

I also think it could be Eve who owns Alastor and that he knows of her being disguised as Eve, and is in Heaven. Like he's kinda in on it, but more so by force.

#hazbin hotel #vivienne medrano #vivziepop #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #alastor #hazbin vaggie #charlastor #angel dust #chaggie #husker hazbin hotel #husk x angel dust #hazbin angel dust #sir pentious #sir pentious hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #nifty hazbin hotel #nifty #charlie x vaggie #vaggie x charlie #vaggie #charlie morningstar

[s1nflower]

Kenny McCormick dating headcanos

Ofcourse, sorry if it took too long

🧡Kenny☠️ dating headcanons

Age: 16-19 ig

Warning: This is as SFW as it can be with Kenny, death and kinda angst? at the end.

I tried to make reader gn but i don't know how

It's well known that he flirts with every girl he ever saw, so it wasn't a suprise when he started flirting with you as well.

You just kinda brushed it off at first. You did like him but you didn't even assume he likes you back since he flirted with everyone.

He didn't give up tho, and after a while he realized he needs to try a bit harder so he did the most romantic thing he can afford.

He picked some flowers for you. He didn't buy them. He picked them off the ground.

You must admit they were pretty.

He saw you were still skeptical after that tho... "What do you mean you can't tell if i really like you? I got you a flowers! When else did you saw me give a girl flowers?"

So that's how you STARTED dating, here's some real dating headcanons

His love language is touch (sexual, non-sexual, doesn't matter) and gift giving/receiving.

I know he can't afford alot of things, by gifts i mean something like a shiny rock he found and gave to you or something like that, he also doesn't expect you to buy him things, just give him random things you find. (idk i think it's cute)

Your dates are usually just two of you hanging out at your or his place (you do that all the time so you don't know if it really counts as a date anymore) because he can't really pay for 'real' dates and refuses to let you pay.

Whenever you're together at (one of your) houses you just have to cuddle.

He loves to just lay on top of you and burry his head into your boobs (if you have them) while you stroke his hair. (this shouldn't be sexual btw)

He wouldn't let you go for a hours.

You need to go to the bathroom? No you don't.

He would let you go eventually, but would whine untill you come back.

Also, he always have his hands at your ass when you're cuddling.

When you're at his place you hang out with Karen together. (if you're a girl she sees you as her big sister)

For some reason he likes to sneak into your house.

It's not that your parents don't let him stay over... he just thinks it's fun.

He woke you up in the middle of the night quite a few times. (don't sleep with your window open)

When you're out, he always has his arm around your shoulders or your waist.

On your 'real' dates (when he takes you out to eat) few times happened that he didn't have enough money, and didn't want to let you pay so you just run out without paying and never came back to that place again. (lmao)

He's probably dyslexic. (not really a dating hc but here it is)

Lot's of sex jokes. (not all of them are jokes *wink*wink*)

You two flirt all the time, it's kinda competition about who will make the other more flustered. (he usually wins)

But if you really wanna see him blush, just give him a compliment. Not flirting, just a genuine compliment. (poor guy just doesn't know how to take them, he will just die there)

Speaking of dying (this is if you want to remember that he dies all the time) first time you saw him die you were devastated. You just couldn't believe he was gone forever, you cried all night.

Next day when he showed up at your door like nothing happened you freaked out even more.

You thought that you were hallucinating.

He was confused at first, then when you told him that you remember him dying yesterday, he was shocked that you actually remember

Then he had to explain to you how he dies all the time but noone remembers, and how it's normal and nothing to worry about

You didn't really see how it's normal or nothing to worry about, but you'll get used to it.

That's it ig.. I hope you like it, this was my first time writing headcanons and i really hope i didn't fuck it up🥹

I also wanted to write NSFW too but I don't know how so... tell me if you want me to write NSFW alphabet (i think it's easier)

Also... I'm sorry for poor grammar.

Bye😍😍

#south park #south park x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #sp headcanons #kenny x reader #kenny mccormick headcanons

[randxmthxughts]

Unrequited - Chapter 2 - Tsu'tey x Omatikaya!Reader

prologue | chapter 1

summary: on one particular night, y/n offers tsu'tey intimacy with no expectations in return, which sparks up a complex relationship between them. they grapple with guilt, unrequited love, and newfound intimacy, as y/n and tsu'tey navigate the depths of their feelings for each other

wc: 5.6k

contains: one-sided love, angst, smut, friends with benefits (ig), smut in this chapter!

a/n: a bit bummed out bc the last chapter did not receive as big of a response as i was expecting, and i'm not sure if it's bc of the time zones or bc it wasn't good enough, idk. but at this point, i'm basically continuing the series for myself, bc i'm excited for the direction i'll be taking with it. however, if you do enjoy the series, please show some love, it really does encourage me to write ♡

unrequited masterlist | general masterlist

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Tsu'tey's gaze fixated on you as you swayed in a circle of healers, performing a traditional mourning dance around the Mother Tree. The rest of the clan knelt around you, their arms linked in solidarity as they prayed to Eywa for the souls lost in battle. But instead of focusing on the prayer, Tsu'tey couldn't help but watch you, intrigued by how in sync you seemed with Mo'at and the rest of the healers. He had never seen this side of you. Frankly, he hadn't seen many sides of you, having treated you like any other member of the clan. Now, knowing that you had feelings for him, something started to shift in his brain.

Of course, you weren't the first to fall for the brave warrior, and Tsu'tey was well aware of the effect he had on other women. It never piqued his interest though, after all, everyone knew of his bond with Silwanin, and respected them as the future clan leaders. There was a brief period of time after Silwanin's passing when some women attempted to win his affection, but he quickly turned them down, knowing that his fate was to mate with Neytiri. 

But the battle shook things up. Neytiri stepped out of her position as the tsakarem and chose Jake as her mate, who had become the Toruk Makto and finally earned the respect of the people. And although Tsu’tey was now supposed to lead his people as the new Olo'eyktan, he felt like his role in the clan had been shifted. Things were changing, and Tsu'tey felt the need to prove himself to be a worthy leader, so spending time with a girl whom he didn't love seemed pointless.

"Did Y/N do something?" Takuk whispered, bringing Tsu'tey back to the present.

"Hm? No, I was just looking," Tsu'tey cleared his throat, ashamed to have been caught. 

"I know, I know," Takuk shook his head with a knowing smile, "She looks great. The guys have been talking about how much she changed lately."

"What?" Tsu'tey turned to him with a frown, "Why were they even discussing her?"

"Because she's been healing some of them," Takuk frowned too, unsure of Tsu'tey's confusion. "Didn't you know? Look, she helped me too."

Takuk pointed to his middle, leaves arranged carefully around a wound just below his ribcage. Tsu'tey observed it for a moment, realizing that the handiwork was similar to his bandaged arm. Mo'at did it differently, using less leaves, but your touch was unmistakable. Tsu'tey felt a twinge of envy, but he shook it off, refocusing on the prayer. He had no room for distractions, not when he had a whole clan to lead and protect.

Tsu’tey had always known he was destined to lead, but now, as the Olo'eyktan, the weight of his responsibilities weighed heavily upon him. It was quick, the way he stepped into the role, ordering repairs, disciplining warriors, and protecting families. People now gave him space, whenever he walked through the crowd, and deep bows of respect; even his friends who once rarely shied away from teasing him, were now more cautious of the things they said around him. But Tsu'tey couldn't help but notice how the air shifted whenever Jake was around too. As Toruk Makto, Jake had risen in the eye of the clan and earned his place. And despite considering Jake his brother, deep down Tsu'tey couldn't shake off the feeling that Jake had everything he was supposed to have, except the title. His family was feeding into this insecurity by harboring personal grudge against Jake, telling Tsu'tey that the demon had stolen Neytiri and left Tsu'tey to be a lone leader. That without a mate, he looked weak. 

As the ceremony ended, Tsu'tey quickly made his way back to the Home Tree, his thoughts consumed by the recent changes in his life. He knew that he needed to focus on his duties as a leader, but he couldn't help the sense of longing for the life he could have had with Silwanin. His world had shifted, and he wasn't sure where he fit in anymore.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Tsu'tey spent the next few nights tossing and turning, unable to sleep. He was going crazy over the plans for the village, as he worked tirelessly to prepare for the changes and recovery that lay ahead. With fewer wounded to tend to, he would now need more hands on deck, supporting his decisions. But what was bothering him more this particular night was the conversation with Mo'at in the healing hut, which had forced him to confront his future.

"Neytiri is now mated with the Toruk Makto," she shot him a meaningful gaze, unwrapping his bandaged arm, "She can no longer continue the legacy of Tsahik. You must choose another woman."

Tsu'tey only shook his head, a pained expression etched on his face. It was not the right time to think about another woman. Any woman. Tsu'tey did not wish to be forced into another bond that could be easily broken. He could never love anyone else but Silwanin, and losing Neytiri to Jake was proof of that. He felt embarrassed to become the chief without a mate, but he'd rather be embarrassed than make anybody else unhappy.

"Preparing another tsakarem will take time. You must choose quickly," Mo'at warned him, "And choose wisely."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The first rays of sunlight were barely peeking through the Home Tree, when Tsu'tey climbed out of it. He trudged directionless, his mind weighing down by the recent hostility he had faced from his own parents. He had never expected to defend Jake, but they were brothers now, and Tsu'tey refused to be consumed by anger anymore. Tsu'tey's parents demanded that he punish Jake, and it sparked an insecurity in him that he never thought he had.

As he wandered through the outskirts of the forest, Tsu'tey stumbled upon you, for the first time in a few days since the ceremony, picking herbs. You were just as taken aback to see him, having expected him to be busy with his newfound duties as the chief. Tsu'tey cringed when you bowed to him deeper than usual, a gesture that reminded him of his position and only seemed to isolate him further.

"What are you doing here?" Tsu'tey asked, his voice raspy, almost accusatory.

"Gathering some aemies for the numbing paste," you answered, standing up, "Why are you here?"

"Wanted to clear my head," he admitted, catching you off guard.

"Do you need help with that?"

Tsu'tey quirked his eyebrow at you, but he didn't budge when you took a step towards him. His gaze drifted off to the basket of herbs, tucked under the roots of a nearby tree. He had no idea how much you were going out of your way to help the other healers. He wondered how long you were there for? He tried to remember anything about your life or your interests, but soon realized that he knew nothing about you. Of course, he had known your whole family, he knew that your older siblings were already with their mates and children. But he had never bothered to learn about your hobbies. Frankly, he knew as much about you as he did about any other clan member from afar. Was it a lapse on his part as an Olo'eyktan, or was it simply that he had never really seen you?

As you neared him, your hands brushed hesitantly against his waist. His left arm was now free of the bandage, and you assumed that Mo'at confirmed the healing of his bone. Still, you decided to be careful with him. Tsu'tey let out a long sigh, his gaze shifting to yours

"Why haven't you chosen a mate yet? You had your ceremony," he suddenly questioned you, catching you off guard.

You pulled away, dropping your hands from him with a scared look. Was it the nearing ending to your secret with Tsu'tey? Did he already promise someone to become his future mate? You were aware that he couldn't be a lone chief for a long time, that soon enough somebody will have to step up for Neytiri but it was a scary thought that you pushed as far as you could.

"You know why," you answered, earning his disapproving look.

"Y/N, I already told you -" he began to repeat himself, but you shook your head, interrupting him.

"And I already told you. I cannot force the ways of my heart. It feels what it feels."

"I cannot force my heart either, you know that."

"I know," you muttered.

Accepting that was easy, at least from afar, when you only watched him. But now having a taste of him, an illusion of maybe him loving you back, was bittersweet. You wished he would just stop telling you he didn't love you every time you talked.

"You’re a hypocrite," you challenged him, "Why are you asking about me having no mate when you don't have one yourself? You're the chief now. Pretty sure it's frowned upon to be a chief without a mate."

"Do not speak on matters that should not concern you," he gritted through his teeth.

"So you can ask me, but I cannot ask you the same?" you suddenly felt irritated with him.

"You are crossing a line," Tsu'tey took a step towards you in a warning, but you didn't budge, "I am the chief now. The concerns of my people are my concerns. You are now my concern."

You gulped down nervously, looking up at him from underneath your lashes. Tsu'tey was frustrated with you. You've seen this look on his face many times in your life, but it was never directed at you. Your voice caught up in your throat, as you realized how attractive he looked looming over you with a snarl.

"What are you -" you tried but the words left your mouth the second he covered it with his.

Tsu'tey wasn't sure why he kissed you, but it was becoming a familiar thing. It could have been out of his frustration with your stubbornness, or the fact that you were the only person who could distract him from the heavy weight on his mind. He felt like he was digging a deeper grave for the both of you, pushing himself into an endless cycle of lust, but it felt too good to pull away. It felt heavenly to be loved by someone who accepted him despite everything he hated about himself.

Your mind was already clouded, lost in the sensations of Tsu'tey's touch, when his arm snaked around you. You pulled him in by his neck, and as you bit down on his bottom lip, something tugged in the back of his brain. Tsu'tey pushed you against a tree, the rough bark painfully scratching your back and loosening the ties of your top. But you didn’t care, not as long as you felt his hands on you, his lips leaving wet kisses on your skin.

The loud sound of a broken twig shattered the trance, and Tsu'tey quickly put some space between you, looking into the trees for the source. You caught a glimpse of two hunters passing in the distance, completely oblivious to your presence, since you were hidden from their sight. Still, you felt uneasy thinking they could have caught you. 

"Do you think they saw us?" you asked, worry creeping into your voice.

"No, they seem unbothered," Tsu'tey let out a relieved chuckle, the sound ringing out like music to your ears. "I'll come by to check on you later today, alright?"

You nodded, stunned by his ease of manner. Was that a promise? Tsu'tey bowed politely before retreating, leaving you alone with your thoughts. A thrill coursed through you at the idea of Tsu'tey making plans with you. No talks of guilt anymore, just the two of you.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

But as the day wore on and the evening approached, the lump in your throat seemed to swell to an almost unbearable size. Perhaps Tsu'tey had forgotten his promise; after all, he had plenty of duties to attend to. Or worse, maybe it was a deliberate attempt to hurt you and push you away. Tsu'tey had countless opportunities to catch you alone throughout the day, yet he hadn't made any effort to make an appearance. With each passing moment, your conviction grew stronger that he had no intention of keeping his word.

You let out a long sigh, as you peeled away the bandage from Takuk's middle. He had sought you out earlier in the day, asking to check on his wound after the training. Of course, you agreed without hesitation. So, as the sun began to set, you found Takuk not too far from the training camp and sat down to examine the wound that you had previously tended to with your own hands several days ago.

"Well, what's the verdict?" Takuk grinned at you, as your eyes surveyed his abdomen.

Though his skin still looked pale, the wound was perfectly closed off, leaving only a small red scar in its place. You removed the rest of the bandage.

"You do not need this anymore," you explained, earning a satisfied groan from him.

"I've been waiting to hear those words for days now," he expressed, and you couldn't help but smile at his reaction.

"What words?" Tsu'tey's serious voice cut in.

You turned to see him leaning against the tree, arms crossed on his chest with a curious gaze flickering between you and Takuk. You shifted uncomfortably when his eyes landed on you, and turned your attention back to Takuk instead. Tsu'tey frowned.

"That I don't need the stupid bandage anymore," Takuk explained, gesturing at you, "Y/N here managed to heal me in a matter of days. I feel as good as a newborn baby!"

You let out a chuckle at the joke, which warmed Takuk's heart. He looked at you adoringly, clearly having formed some sort of attachment to you. To Tsu'tey his intentions were more than clear. 

"You fight like a baby, too," Tsu'tey retorted, feeling the need to establish a dynamic in front of you.

Takuk laughed heartily, but you felt a twinge of anger at Tsu'tey's behavior. He acted nonchalantly and now was joking about his subordinates in front of you? Rising to your feet, you ignored him and turned to Takuk.

"Be careful not to open up the wound again, alright?"

Takuk nodded eagerly, rising to his feet too. He was planning to walk back to the Home Tree with you, and Tsu'tey quickly picked up on it. The second the two of you bowed to him to leave, he caught you by your wrist. Takuk stared back at you confused.

"Go ahead, Takuk, Y/N and I have to discuss something," Tsu'tey said, still keeping his hand around yours.

Takuk was taken aback for a moment by Tsu'tey's sudden command, but he didn't argue and sprinted back into the forest. Once he was out of your sight, you wiggled your hand free from Tsu'tey's grasp, and brushed past him with an annoyed huff.

"I'll walk you back," Tsu'tey said loudly.

"I can walk on my own," you snarled, walking ahead of him, desperately trying to put a distance between the two of you.

"Slow down for a second," he commanded, "This is an order from your Olo'eyktan."

You huffed again, before turning around to face him. Tsu'tey stared back at you with an expectant look.

"What?"

"Why are you angry at me?" he asked.

You rolled your eyes at him before turning away again and continuing to walk. An annoyed growl vibrated through Tsu'tey's chest. He easily caught up to you and grabbed your wrist again to make you stop near the training hut. He could feel his frustration growing as you continued to ignore him.

"What is the matter?"

It was a matter of desperation to get away from his piercing eyes, to stop having to put up this angry act with him when in reality you were extremely heartbroken. Seeing him act as if nothing happened made you feel foolish. If he hadn't accidentally run into you, would he have bothered to check on you at all? The thought stung.

"I waited for you," you said, looking up at Tsu'tey with a mix of frustration and hurt. You pulled your hand away from his grasp.

"I am here, aren't I?"

"Not because you were looking for me. Am I wrong?"

Tsu'tey frowned at the truth you voiced. He had stumbled upon you by accident, not expecting to find you near the training camp at that hour.

"You are not wrong," he raised his palms in the air as a sign of defeat, "But I've got a lot on my plate right now. Let's just talk about it."

"What is there to talk about, Tsu'tey? You didn't show up, end of story."

Tsu'tey felt a pang of guilt in his chest, knowing that he deserved your harshness. As he went about his duties as Olo'eyktan, the weight of reality settled upon him, reminding him that there was no way for you to fit into his new life. But the promise he had made to you hung over him, and he couldn't bring himself to follow through with it. He had hoped that if he didn't show up, you would get angry and give him up. But fate had other plans when he ran into you with Takuk, and seeing you laugh with his trainee made him feel uneasy.

"Well, what do you want from me?" he asked defensively. You shook your head in disbelief.

"I don't want anything from you that you can't give me. I made it clear that I don't care if you hurt me, as long as you're honest with me," your eyes glistened with a threat of tears, "But whatever you did, not showing your face for days, then making me wait for you, knowing well that you didn't want to come... I felt stupid. That was cruel.”

"I didn't mean to," he shook his head.

"I think you did," you bit back, your voice laced with venom.

The lump in your throat was on the verge of suffocating you, and you hastily wiped away your tears, turning your head from him. Oh, how much you feared to show him this vulnerable side of you, to earn his pity. Tsu'tey's fingers gently grabbed your chin, turning your face back to him. 

"Stop it," he ordered, when you tried to turn away from him.

"Let go of me and go back to your duties. You have a lot on your plate now, don't you, chief?" you snapped.

"I do, yet I am here to speak to you," Tsu'tey replied calmly.

You rolled your eyes at him, and Tsu'tey hated it. It was a direct dismissal of his words.

"I already told you that there's nothing else to talk about. I do not need your pity, Tsu'tey. Either we do this before one of us gets forced into a loveless bond, or we put an end to it now. If you do not wish for the kind of comfort I offer to you, if you find me disgusting for giving myself to you, then just tell me. Break my heart now, and I will never force your hand again. But don’t make me wait around for you and feel foolish. Hell, I can even leave the clan and never return again, if you wish me to, just don't toy with me -"

Tsu'tey couldn't bear the tension any longer as you rambled on, pouring out all the thoughts that had been nagging at you throughout the day. It hurt him to hear those words because the truth always hurts. Oh Eywa, how much he wished to shut you up. Whenever did you even get the courage to talk to him that way? You were always gentle and shy around him. Now suddenly, you were challenging him not only as a man, but also as the Olo'eyktan. Threatening to leave the clan? 

There was something that slipped your lips, making his heart jump a little. Eventually, one of you would be forced into a bond you didn't want. Was it selfless to enjoy each other's intimacy before it ended?

He didn't hear the end of your sentence, when he kissed you. At first, you resisted, trying to stay angry at him, but soon gave in, your lips moving in sync with his in a passionate, frustrated kiss. When he finally pulled away, there was a glimpse of surprise in your eyes. You were at a loss of words.

"Let's do that," he breathed out through his lidded eyes.

"Do what?"

"What you said. Enjoy this," he answered slowly, "But we end it the moment you are courted by someone."

You snorted in disbelief, but Tsu'tey's expression remained genuine. Was he finally giving in with no guilt? No resistance?

"And you won't regret it?" you quirked his eyebrow at him.

"As long as I do not get in the way of your happiness with someone else."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Tsu’tey sat on the ground inside the small training hut, his back pressed against the wall. You weren't sure how exactly the two of you found your way in, but before you knew it, you were seated in his lap, savoring the sweet sensation of his lips on yours. You placed another kiss on his lips before pulling away enough to see his piercing green eyes staring back at you with hunger. The tension between you was growing.

Tsu'tey was barely holding it together, lust dictating his every move, as he cupped your face and pulled you closer. A shiver ran down your spine, and you couldn't help but moan softly at the way he grazed his lips along your jaw. At that moment, Tsu'tey was no longer the Olo'eyktan with duties, and you were no longer the girl with unrequited feelings. You were just two people consumed by a fierce desire for each other.

Tsu'tey's hands found their way to the strings of your skimpy top, eventually untying it and letting it slide off you. His palms gently grazed and explored the softness of your breasts. Now that his healed arm was no longer restricting him, Tsu'tey anticipated the chance to fully utilize it to enjoy your body. He pulled his lips from yours and bent down to catch your left breast in his mouth, lightly biting down on the soft skin, then sucking and licking the spots that ached to ease the pain. You sighed at the mixture of pain and pleasure, as his fingers pinched your right nipple simultaneously.

A heated sensation spread through you, making your arch back for him, hips slowly rolling over Tsu'tey's thigh. Desperate for some friction, you pressed your clothed core against him harder, hands reaching for his shoulders for stability. Tsu'tey groaned in displeasure when you pushed his head away from your abused nipples and crashed your lips against his. The slow grinding became faster and aching, and the tangy feeling in your core started to grow. Tsu'tey thrusted his hips up in response, chuckling at the whimper you couldn't hold in.

Your mind was now too cloudy to cooperate with your body, and you stopped grinding against his thigh, giving yourself a moment to recompose. Which made him want to push you over the edge more. He thrusted up again, watching the way your mouth fell agape at the sensation. There was a pathetic attempt to form words, but you never really succeeded in getting them out. Tsu'tey's hands rested on your hips, pressing you down on his thigh and slowly guiding you back into the rhythm you followed before. You shut your eyes, your loincloth already soaked wet, making you glide smoother against his skin.

"You're so desperate, aren't you?" he cooed with a small smirk.

You felt yourself blushing at his words, and only nodded, dropping your head to hide in the crook of his neck. Your brain went foggy at his intoxicating scent. Tsu'tey only found your reaction amusing, continuing to slowly rock you back and forth. 

"I'll take care of you, hm?" he asked.

You hummed back desperately, pleading for more stimulation, as you felt something harden against your thigh. Glancing down, you noticed a noticeable bulge forming beneath Tsu'tey's loincloth.

"Let me make you feel good," you breathed.

Tsu'tey reached out and gently took hold of your neck, pulling you away from him so he could get a better look at your face. The expression he saw made him even more aroused. 

"We'll take it slow, syulang," he said softly, "You let me know if you don't like something, alright?"

You gave him a quick nod, opening your mouth to speak but having no will to form a coherent sentence. Tsu'tey's thumb traced the curve of your bottom lip, feeling a rush of heat coursing through him. He picked you up and moved you to the ground, laying you out in front of him. With half-lidded eyes, you watched him, your body eagerly anticipating his touch once again.

Before long, he positioned himself over you, his knee nestled between your parted legs. Tsu'tey's lips quickly met yours in a fiery kiss, as you pulled him into a tight embrace. His right hand returned to his favorite spot, kneading and caressing the soft skin of your breasts. He alternated between kissing your lips and chest, before finally stopping to suck on your nipples. Your breath hitched, your already swollen cunt aching painfully in need of attention.

"Take it off," Tsu’tey whispered, tugging at your cloth, as if reading your mind.

You rushed to untie the piece of fabric and yank it away from under you. Tsu'tey continued to kiss your breasts, as his fingers moved to your heat and glided through your already wet slick. He pressed his thumb to your bud, enjoying the way you jolted under his touch. He looked up at your face, as he began to draw small circles around your sensitive spot.

"Don't tease me," you grunted at his slow movements.

Tsu'tey shook his head in amusement, before lowering himself down. He gripped your left leg and rested it on his shoulder, leveling his face with your cunt. You whined loudly, when you suddenly felt his tongue on you, swirling around your swollen clit. The sensation was new, something you haven't felt, but before you could process it, Tsu'tey slid a digit into your hole. You squirmed under him, as he pumped his finger in and out of you, hitting a sweet spot inside that made your walls cave. Your whiny moans blended into a cry, when he loudly sucked on your bud, simultaneously curling his finger inside you.

Blood rushed through your veins at the overwhelming sensation. It seemed like you were too consumed by the ecstatic feeling to comprehend what was happening anymore, just wishing to savor it for as long as you could.

"Ahh," you panted, when Tsu'tey licked painfully alongside your slit. 

Enjoying the sounds you made, he continued to lick more eagerly, his tongue brushing all around and in between your folds, occasionally teasing your bud. His ears twitched, devouring every small sound and whimper that escaped your mouth with satisfaction, his member throbbing painfully.

Your pleasure was nearing, walls starting to clench around his finger, luring him in deeper. Fuck. He wished to feel you clench this way around his cock instead. Tsu'tey continued to thrust his finger into you with a steady pace, his eyes tracing every curve of your disheveled form, taking in the sight of you with admiration. He marveled at how beautiful you looked, with your slightly disheveled hair and sweat glistening on your forehead. You caught his gaze with your half-lidded, exhausted eyes, barely noticing his tail wagging behind him. He pulled his finger out, earning a dissatisfied groan from you at the loss.

If you weren't this hungry for him, you would have already scolded him for torturing you. But all you could do is tug at his shoulders to silently plead with him instead. Tsu'tey hastily brought himself back, resting on top of you, his hardened dick pulsing against you through the loincloth.

He kissed you desperately with such force, you could almost feel your lips bruise. You wrapped him in a tight embrace, scared that his touch might leave you again if you didn't. Tsu’tey couldn’t think anymore, his fingers fidgeting with the ties of his loincloth, before he finally freed his hard dick. He pulled away slightly to give himself enough space and guide his tip through your slit. He teased your entrance just enough to make you gasp, pushing the tip in and out a couple of times, coating it in your juices.

"Ahh," you whined, once he slowly pushed himself slightly deeper into you.

Tsu'tey gave you a second to adjust before starting to slowly glide in and out of you only halfway. He wanted you to take in the thickness of his length slowly, until you could get used to the feeling. He paused in between the thrusts to look for any signs of discomfort, but soon enough you rolled your hips instinctively, taking in his full length.

Tsu'tey barely held back from a release right at that second, your walls so tight around him. He was basically fitting into you to the hilt. He slowly picked up his pace, pounding into you, hitting that sweet spot that made your breath hitch. You clutched on to him, your tail wagging uncontrollably against the ground.

Everything about Tsu'tey seemed intoxicating, like he wasn't real. The way his musky scent surrounded you, and the taste of his lips lingered on your tongue. The way his arms held onto you, his cock fitting and curling perfectly inside you. Tsu'tey fastened his pace, coaxing louder moans out of you. You were grateful that you were too far from the Home Tree to be heard by anyone.

The more his tip hit your spot, the more you rolled forward to chase that feeling building up in your pit. Tsu'tey could feel that you were close to your release by the way you started to tighten around him. He tried hard concentrating on keeping up, dropping his head onto your breasts, to feel the small vibrations radiating through your chest. It wasn't long before you couldn't keep it in anymore. You came undone with a loud cry.

"Tsu'tey," you gripped at his back, the pleasure washing over you in a wave.

You squeezed his cock almost painfully, and Tsu'tey slowed down his pace. But as he continued to hit the same spot with the roll of his hips, your body shuddered from the overstimulation. You felt too exhausted to push him away, instead patting his back to stop, but the groans that were now escaping Tsu'tey's lips were signaling that he was almost done. Your cunt started to throb, feeling another wave of pleasure forming inside you, as his thrusts became rougher, filling out the hut with loud squelching sounds.

"Harder," you whined, and he slammed into you. Your juices coated his member in wetness, dripping down your crack.

Your core started to pulse again, nearing another orgasm, and the moment you came undone, tightening around him, Tsu’tey pulled out with a groan. He panted heavily, his hand immediately wrapping around his dick, and pumping it in his fist. You watched him give himself a final thrust, before white cum dripped over his fingers. Tsu'tey looked heavenly, when his features relaxed, thumb caressing over the tip of his penis. He watched you too through barely open eyes, as if the sight of you was the final nudge to push him over the edge. He positioned himself over you again, leaning down to kiss you. You could feel his dick smearing around its stickiness on your skin, but you didn't care, smiling into his lips with a bliss.

As you laid there, with Tsu'tey's strong chest pressed against your back and his arm draped over your middle, you could feel the reality slowly beginning to set in. It was suddenly overwhelming to be in his presence, being acutely aware that the moment was fleeting, and that any second now he could push you away. But for Tsu'tey, the feeling wasn't mutual. He was too lost in his dreamlike bliss, pretending that he could live it for a little longer. When you shifted to free yourself from his grasp, he pulled you back into him with a low growl.

"We can't get caught like this," you whispered, glancing at him over your shoulder.

"We won't, just stay the night," he murmured, nuzzling his nose into your hair.

You hesitated for a moment, before slowly relaxing into his embrace, savoring the warmth of his body against yours. You remained silent for the rest of the night.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As the first rays of sunlight slipped through the small window of the hut, you stirred, crunching your nose in irritation. Tsu'tey laid beside you, his features serene in slumber, and you gave yourself some time to admire him like that. Despite the urge to kiss him, you knew you couldn't wake him up.

Carefully, you slipped out of his arms, quietly putting on your clothes. Tsu'tey's eyes fluttered open, sensing your movements, but he remained still, watching you with a pensive expression.

He knew it was better if you left, so he pretended to be asleep, when you cast a final glance at him and slipped out of the hut. 

As you made your way back to the Home Tree, you stopped by the river, to wash away his scent. No matter how irresistible it was to you, you couldn't afford to raise any suspicions.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

chapter 3

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

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[00-hawkboi-00]

War is Over (and what have we done?)

Part Four

Pairing; Graves x m!reader (slow burn)

WC; 2.9k

Summary; Graves is tired of being ignored.

Warnings; not really any? Not yet at least. Minor flashback stuff where it's implied he's trapped in the tank when it caught fire, mentions of death/pondering

A/n; probably my shortest chapter yet. I spilt what was originally one part into two because it just felt??? Off?? To put them together as one thing?? Idk but I felt like it called for more than just a few paragraph breaks

(also thanks to @/rousseau-vargas and @/embry-garrick who are my biggest motivators rn, next half of part will be out soon)

(idk how to explain it, but I love how his mouth moves..)

---"more than he bargained for"---

Phillip was bored out of his goddamn mind and a prisoner in his own fucking base. Which, to be fair, he had definitely anticipated would happen when he came back.

He had known he’d fucked up; he knew you would be angry. It had been a long time, Phil had been gone for nearly an entire year. Him suddenly appearing again after being presumed dead? That was sure to stir up some unsavory feelings; he had expected a bit of rage, some lashing out here and there.

He, for some unknown reason, hadn't predicted this.

You, trapping him in his own goddamn base.

Phil doesn't know how long he's been stuck within these same four walls—thankfully he'd been detained in one of the spare rooms, one with a small bathroom, and not where the temporary prisoners were usually kept—, but he does know that, especially if he stays here any longer, he's about to lose his damn mind.

He thought he knew you. Figured you'd eventually calm down—like you always did—and come back to collect him. Maybe chew him out a bit more, which would be well deserved, but then let him go. Reconcile. That's what usually happened when you two had a minor scuffle.

But this wasn't just a small mishap, some little blip on the timeline because Phil had gone a bit too far once again. Been a bit too snappy; had said the wrong thing. Was it?

With every day that passed, every second that dragged on, Phil was starting to believe he didn't know you as well as he had thought he did.

It's hot. It's so fucking hot. Phillip should have known better than to actually be in the damn tank when all this started, you, his dear co-founder, had warned him against it. But what was Phil to do? He'd rather face this heat a thousand times over, relive it again and again as much as it took, than have one of his own soldiers trapped in this chunk of metal.

Did he really think he would win? Well.. maybe. Phil had his doubts before this, you had your doubts, but he had insisted. And now he was going to pay for it stuck in this gradually melting, scalding hot box.

Another few raps of his knuckles on the wall, and still no answer.

Phil was really starting to get annoyed at this point. He was more than tired of being ignored, which only manifested in an uptick of his provocative behavior.

The hallway is on the other side and you, his dear Phantom, wouldn't leave him unguarded, would you?

Definitely not. So, again, he follows his obnoxious knocking with a shout of, “V! For Christ’s sake, I know you're out there!”

And he did, who better to have stand guard outside his door than your most trusted soldier?

He may not know you like he used to, and you may never admit it, but Phil could pride himself in the fact that you were at least a little predictable. And you had always been fond of their dearest Venn.

But, as had been the norm of how ever fucking long Phil had been trapped in here, there is no reply.

Phil had warned them. He had tried his damnedest to get those damn 141 boys to stand down, his orders hadn't been against them. Not originally. Not until they, as per usual, stuck their fucking noses into shit they don't belong in.

Was this what hell was like? Was this him paying for the horrid massacre he had commanded?

Phil could have gone against orders. He could've told Shepard where to shove it and be on his merry way—with his family Shadows alive. No one had to die. No one but Hassan and his goons had to meet their end.

But, goddammit, so many had. So many innocent lives were wasted.

Phil had been doing this shit for years, doing the dirty work no one else would, the kind the average military couldn't.

That didn't make it any easier.

He often put on a front; he had to. For his family's soldiers sakes’. If he was afraid, if he shied away from the blood and the gore, the screams and the terror, then he wouldn't be the strong, unmovable rock his soldiers relied on. Now would he?

He should have said no. Or maybe made some sort of compromise. But he hadn't, and there was no point in ruminating over what had been done. He was going to die here—it is what he deserved—, stuck and helpless.

Just like the innocent people whose lives he had stolen.

He knew you were just being stubborn. You would come around eventually- right?

Phil had never doubted you before. Having started this damn company together, just two wayward souls searching for something to call their own, tired of being tied down with yards upon yards or red tape—oh, the irony of that sentiment. You two had never been free.

Even when he pushed you away. When he left you the morning after—every damn time—to wake in his bed alone and cold. Not a trace of the warmth from the night before left behind.

Even when he refused to admit what you truly meant to him.

Phil had always assured himself that it didn't matter, he could say and do whatever he pleased, because you would always come crawling back to him. And you always had. No matter what.

Until right now.

Until you didn't.

“V! Goddammit, open the door!”

It was so fucking hot. He could barely move, mind fuzzy and breaths coming out in short, labored gasps.

What little movements Phil could make were sluggish and weak. The latch didn't work, and subsequently that meant the door didn't either. He was well and truly stuck.

Phil thought he was starting to make peace with that. Dying. It had been a long time coming, hadn't it?

After all the bloodshed. After all the things he had done in his life—all the blood and gore, the purposeful ignorance and choice to look the other way. To pretend not to care.

He deserved this, right? He was getting what had been coming for him. Finally.

It should have come sooner. He had lived plenty; he had done enough harm in his time.

Phil's tactic at this point was simply to be as obnoxious as he could possibly be, and annoy Venn into inevitably opening that damn door.

And after a few more harsh pounds of his fist against the wall, and several more calls of her name, Phil gets his wish.

In the form of a frustrated shout and the door slamming against the wall so hard it's a surprise the poor thing stays on its hinges, but he gets his way nonetheless.

“What.” Venn spits when she finally gets inside, arms crossed over her chest and one boot tapping furiously against the floor.

“That's no way to speak to your Commander, V.” Phil sing-songs, all upbeat and shit, against his own better judgment.

Ah, yes. Let's piss off the one direct line you have to Phantom more than you already have.

That's sure to get him his way.

“You're not-” Venn cuts herself off, sighing heavily and starting over. “What do you want, sir?”

She says the word with none of the respect she used to and, honestly, that was fair.

“Better.” Phil still hums. Because he's an asshole. And because he can't seem to stop himself, apparently, the snark seems to be hardwired into his brain or some shit.

“What. Do. You. Want.”

“You know what I want, V.” She makes a face at the nickname, and Phil pretends not to feel that little twinge in his chest. It's not like he doesn't deserve it. They used to be close. All of them.

“Not going to happen.” Venn snaps immediately. Defensive. Predictably.

“You know I'm not going to stop asking.”

“And you know it's never going to happen.”

“Fucking hell, V, why not?” Because he doesn't deserve the right of seeing you. Because he already fucked this up before it had the chance to be great.

“Because he doesn't want to see you.”

She's told him that before, several times over, to be honest, but Phil still can't hide the slight grimace that pulls at his features when Venn says it again. Says it with so much confidence, so much conviction, like it's an obvious fact everyone else has been made aware of and he's just been too stupid to pick up on it.

Phil has already been made well aware plenty of times. He just didn't want to believe it.

But what about you?

Would you be okay without him? Would the others? Phil knows you have never been the most.. well put together. But after you two got out of that wretched regimen, when you two banded together and created this little pretend family, things had been better.

Phil had been able to get you to open up more. To get you to behave more as yourself, and not like the shell of a man who he’d met when you two were still green.

You talked to him more. Got a bit better at talking with your fellow Shadows. Let him touch without flinching first, let him get to know the person beneath the aloof exterior.

Even though he had given nothing in return.

Would you make it out if this? And if you did, would you forgive him?

When you dug up those pieces of metal from the wreckage, those little markers of his identity, no doubt having melted to be nearly incomprehensible, would you bury them with his singed corpse? Or would you keep them safe? Tucked into a pocket of your vest, above your heart?

Would you tell his grave the stories of your future when the ashes settled? Would you bring flowers, or would you spat over the very earth he rested beneath?

Would you leave the stone unmarked, or with those few precious words you two had agreed upon all those years ago?

When he was gone, would you mourn? Would you miss the warmth of him above and beside yourself? Those whispered confessions spoken under that blanket, amidst the cover of night, would you forget them?

Would you forget him too?

“And he told you this?”

Venn goes silent then. One thing about her; though her moral compass was just as fucked as the rest of theirs, though her hands were bathed in the same amount of blood, Venn was a pretty shit liar.

“He doesn't even know you're in here, does he?”

More silence.

“Oh, you poor thing. First lying and now going against your Lieutenant's direct orders? What has become of you, V?”

“I don't need him to say it to know it's true!” Venn huffs, sending Phil a scathing glare.

“So you're making assumptions now? Dearest, Venn, you know what they say about people who assume..”

“The same way you assume he'll want to see you?”

Phil opens his mouth to protest, say something, but he draws blanks. What if she's right? What if you really didn't want to see him? Hell, did he even cross your mind anymore? Did you even remember you'd put him here?

Phil clamps his mouth shut and there's an audible clack of his teeth snapping together.

He hasn't seen you since that fateful day when, like the absolute dumbass he is, he had sent you storming out. Taunting and prodding, as Phil usually did, but you truly had been acting differently that day.

Or maybe it wasn't just that day. Maybe you had really changed, and Phil didn't know that man beneath the shell anymore.

He should've seen it more clearly when you walked in dressed head to toe, even that pretty face of yours masked. You didn't like shit like that. Always used to complain to Phil how much you hated them, being so covered up, made you feel claustrophobic or whatever.

But these days you wear it like a second skin.

“I deserve to see him.”

You had always been so calm, and he would often compare you to the soothing waves of the ocean washing over the cool sand of a beach after midnight.

But even calm waters can turn deadly in the blink of an eye.

“Deserve? You think, after what you did, you deserve anything?” Venn isn't masked, so the disbelieving look she gives him is quite obvious. Paired with a humorless, and honestly a little off-putting, laugh. “You don't deserve shit, Graves. And you definitely don't have the right to seeing him, not when-”

She cuts herself off then, and, if Phil had been thinking clearly, he would've asked for clarification. For her to continue because maybe, maybe he wasn't the only one privy to see that you weren't the same man you used to be.

But he doesn't look deeper, doesn't dip below the surface of that pretty ocean blue.

He never does.

“You can't keep him from me forever-”

“I'm not keeping anything! He hasn't even come down this way all week-”

“But he has come down here-?”

“Yeah- but not for you-”

“Just get his ass over here, V-”

“No! Why are you so stubborn? He doesn't want you!”

Ouch. But he's heard worse. From you—to be completely fair, Phil had usually said his own scathing handful of words beforehand. “You don't know that!”

“I understand you two started this shit together, so you assume you've got some weird, cryptic claim over him-”

“-that's not what this is about-”

“But he is his own person, Phillip! You two may have been friends before, but things have changed. You don't own him-”

“It's not like that-!”

“Oh, really? It's not like that?” She's up close and personal now, face to face, mere centimeters away. Huh, Phil never noticed the few inches she had on him. “How is it not? All you talk about is how you deserve to see him-”

“I do!”

“That's not a good enough reason! You can't just say “I do” and expect me to drag him down here. He's a very busy man!”

“You don't understand, V-”

“Then tell me! Help me understand what could possibly earn you the right to deserve seeing the man!”

“Because I fucking love him!” He shouts. “and I deserve to see my fucking boyfriend, for Christ's sake!”

Phil doesn't realize the words that had accidentally tumbled out of his mouth until Venn is pulling back, brown eyes widened in shock.

Oh. Oh shit. Ohhhhh shit.

You were going to kill him.

Seriously this time. Phil was a dead man.

“You-” she stutters. “Him- what. I- huh??”

“Shit- V-” Phil rushes closer, hands fidgety and hovering awkwardly around Venn as if wanting to grasp hold of her shoulders. He backs off and opts to pace the same nine foot strip of carpet instead, hands fisting into his hair. Tugging a bit here and there until he manages to settle enough to cross his arms instead.

Still pacing, pulse jumping.

“You can't tell him I let it slip, alright?”

One dark eyebrow raised, she asks, “Why not?” and rightfully so. Phil probably looked like he was losing his damn mind right now.

“Because-” because he had never said it before. Had never had the courage to admit it. To name what he had with you. What he wanted with you.

Because despite that so clearly being what you wanted from him, written so openly on your face when you looked at him. The most obvious you ever had been, about anything—and it was him who caused that.

Still, he had never put a label to it.

“Because he doesn't need to know.”

“Bullshit.” Venn scoffs, curiosity now flipped back to protective anger.

“It's not that big of a deal-”

“If it weren't, you wouldn't be acting like this. Would you?”

Ah. She had him there.

“Listen, Venn,” he says, voice low, tired. “You don't know Phantom like I do. This won't blow over well if you tell him.”

“I think I know him plenty well...” She says, more so like that of a stubborn child.

“If I get him-” Venn starts, hesitating. For a moment Phil thinks she's going to give him some big speech about not doing anything, blah blah blah, or she'll send him to an early grave or whatever. She exhales deeply through her nose, shutting her eyes briefly before looking at Phil again.

He doesn't think he's ever seen her look so damn exhausted. Suddenly seeming much more like the grown woman she is, and not the rambunctious teen they usually tease her for behaving like—all in good fun, of course.

“Just..” she trails again, as if weighing her options on whether to tell him or not. “Be.. gentle.. with him. He's not–not the man you used to know. He's.. changed.”

He had figured that much, but Phil surprises even himself when he utters an, almost soft, “okay.”

Venn gives him the barest hint of a smile before dropping the expression entirely, a far away look in those dark brown hues.

After a moment of silence, she turns to walk away. Appearing unable to even gather the energy to speak a goodbye, the door shutting inaudibly behind her; Phil can't even blame her for that one. Seems he wasn't the only one to pick up on your odd behavior, and he had only spoken to you once since his return.

He wonders what you had been all this time with no one to report to, under zero supervision—then he considers that he may not want the answer.

__

Masterlist | One | Two | Three | Next

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#call of duty #cod x male reader #male reader #call of duty x male reader #call of duty x reader #reader insert #gay #phillip graves x male reader #graves x male reader #phillip graves

[restinslices]

Could you do the Earthrealm champions being invited by GN!reader to dance with them in a video?

If you need song ideas for this request, I got you covered:

Bet y’all ain’t know I like K-pop. Expect the unexpected. My internet is being dumb asf and I cannot add gifs so you’re getting dumb pictures I found on Pinterest

Johnny Cage

“I’m a star sweetheart, I don’t have time for silly videos”

*Proceeds to dance with passion*

Johnny cannot take shit seriously so if you think he’d be too proud to do a little dance for a video, you’re smoking 

He probably wears something way over the top for the video as if he’s actually performing for a crowd 

I don’t think Johnny is a natural dancer but he makes do. He probably practices to make sure he doesn’t look stupid and you’ll have to record the video multiple times until he’s satisfied 

“I don’t like that one or that one or that one or-” “I’m gonna find a new partner. Oh my gosh”

Honestly I think he has more fun than you

“I think I should add ‘dancer’ to my lists of talents”

He probably asks to do it again

Idk if I see Johnny being into K-pop but the interest would start here and spiral 

I also feel like he enjoys dances from girl groups more than boy groups. I once again don’t know why I think this way but it makes sense in my head 

Likes more simple dances. It keeps the focus on his pretty face and outfits 

“I think I’d be fantastic in a girl group” “Ok Johnny”

It’s giving “nurse! He’s out again!”

He has a new hyperfixation now. I hope you’re proud of yourself 

Favorite thing to dance to is Cupid by Fifty Fifty 

Kenshi Takahashi 

Only does it because you asked him to, and even then he doesn’t really want to 

He doesn’t hate dancing but he just doesn’t do it 

Considering he escaped from the Yakuza, him being in a video with you isn’t the best idea. You can call him paranoid. He calls himself careful. 

When he finally agrees, he's wearing the most obnoxious get up; hoodie, sweatpants, a hat, glasses, a mask and gloves. It's so no one can know who he is, but who in the Yakuza is randomly watching dance videos?

He won't change his mind though and wears it all.

You have to do an easy dance otherwise he'll sweat himself to death 

I don't see him going out of his way to do it again. It was alright to him. He's not big on dancing so learning a dance then doing it wasn't the best way to spend his time. Also he was extremely sweaty so he's not tryna do it again 

He will if you ask, but he won't bring it up first 

He's trying to not be noticed but people can't help but notice him 

I feel like he favors boy groups only slightly. Favorite thing to dance to is Still 24K by 24K but only the chorus because once again, sweat and heat. And YES I picked 24K because I'm never letting their name die. I miss them 

Kung Lao

“I have better things to do, like training new recruits at the Academy” “If you're too scared of me dancing better than you, just say that”

He learns the dance that night 

He's competitive so what's supposed to be a sweet couples thing, turns serious 

Wants to do a hard dance just to prove how great he is even if it's stupid 

Legit is angrily typing “hard kpop dances” and picking one at random 

He has you ask the audience to comment who danced better or do a poll

If he wins, he's ecstatic and wants to continue showing off. If he loses, he's bitter. The vote was rigged. Real “Stop the count!” type shit 

If he loses he wants to do it again so he can do better. He legit can't let it go. The problem is he keeps diving into hard ass dances and refuses to start simple 

You have to pry his hands off the keyboard and help him pick something simple 

Once he stops being stubborn then you two can actually have fun. Dancing can become a regular thing, but he's gonna keep making it a challenge 

In his eyes, he always wins 

Idk if he has a preference for boy or girl groups. I'll say his favorite thing to dance to is Monster by Exo because I feel like he'd want to do Chanyeol's jump 

Raiden

I think he'd be shy at first. Super Shy if you will 

He doesn't wanna fuck it up, yk? After being told it's not that deep and it's just for fun, he agrees 

Besides Johnny, he's probably having the most fun. I feel like he enjoys spending time with the people he cares about and this is doing just that 

Wants to do it again because it's spending time with you and it makes you happy 

Before I even end this, he's a girl group stan and I'm standing on it

Idk why but I think he'd like 4Minute and I'm not changing my mind. He'd be bummed they're not together anymore 

Honestly, his favorite groups have probably all disbanded or are on hiatus. He's not having a good time 

“I like 4Minute” “disbanded” “2NE1?” “disbanded” “Miss A?” “disbanded” “CLC?” “I don't think they're disbanded but they're doing their own thing” “I hate my life”

I just feel like he'd have bad luck 

Dancing becomes a new hobby though. He can't always be getting rid of threats. 

Mainly does it with you 

His favorite thing to dance to is Whatcha Doin’ Today by 4Minute. Honestly I can see that being his favorite song which is a real shame cause I think his favorite would be Jihyun and she got like, one line (I'm projecting)

Liu Kang 

Big problem with your plan. He has glowing eyes and shades hardly dull them. How's he gonna hide that? 

With TWO pairs of shades of course 

I think he'd be reluctant to make the video because his existence isn't supposed to be known by random people 

He'd be willing to dance with you alone, he's just not sure about the video and he won't be sure until you come up with a good idea that'll get rid of that problem 

You can post it on your close friends though. They make sense 

I feel like he'd like dancing to some random ass unknown group from the 80s or 90s. Who even are these people?

He did watch as civilization grew so he's seen tons of groups form and disband so I guess it's not surprising he knows smaller groups. 

Idk if he'd have a preference for boy groups or girl groups. If it's good music, it's good music 

I don't think it'd become a new hobby for him. He's not reluctant about it like Kenshi, it just doesn't interest him as much as you'd like 

He makes it known he's doing this for you. Not in an asshole way, but in a “I really like when you're happy” type of way 

I'm NOT looking up old ass groups just for this so imma say his favorite thing to dance to is Kard in general. Why? Idk. I’m spreading an agenda

I wanna write more MK1 intros but I’m brain empty. I’m miserable This was also short. My bad anon. Everyone has around 230 words

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #mk1 x reader #johnny cage #johnny cage mk1 #johnny cage x reader #kenshi takahashi #kenshi takahashi mk1 #kenshi takashi x reader #kung lao mk1 #kung lao #kung lao x reader #raiden #raiden mk1 #raiden x reader #raiden mortal kombat #liu kang #liu kang mk1 #liu kang x reader #liu Kang mk1

[intriq]

dc universe characters but your their ex, and they want you back

could be hurt/comfort, maybe fluff. angst? idk, unsure about how to label this one chief

if you want to see any other characters in here, lmk via comment or send me an ask! [they are always open for requests n stuff, so feel free to send them] and i'll make sure to get them in here!

Also, big thanks to my beta readers: Lilac, Void, My bestie, and bat brat apollo! they helped make sure these didn't fall too out of character.

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ‎‎‎ㅤ╔⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤╗

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤBruce...

...at first, didn't realize just how miserable he'd feel after you guys broke up. Well, after he broke up with you.

He thought that you being possibly tied in to his life as Batman would make things oh so dangerous, and that maybe you'd be better off without him. And that just maybe he'd be better off without you.

But boy was he wrong.

After day one, he missed your presence.

After day three, he started missing your touch. Hugs, kisses, cuddles, the works.

After one week he missed seeing you whenever he came back to Wayne manor after patrol or whenever he'd had a long day being out and about Gotham, whether as just his regular self or patrolling the streets, fighting crime as Batman.

By week two, not even focusing on patrolling could keep you off his thoughts. It didn't exactly help that he knew your schedule. Actually, not even just knew. He had it memorized.

So he'd find himself particularly drawn to patrolling the area around where you lived more often, sometimes even doubling back to the area. Sometimes even three times.

Of course, it took a full month [and seeing you going on your first date since the break-up] for him to take action. He'd started sending gifts at first. Small things that you liked, whether it be books or lots and lots of flowers.

Then the gifts just got more and more expensive, more grandeur. After all, he is a billionaire, so it wouldn't hurt his bank account. Plus, it was a gift for you. So why wouldn't he?

If you still didn't take him back then, he starts sending you texts. Just cute little things such as "i miss you" and whatnot.

And then the in-person confessions, gift giving, and what-not started after. He'd drop by [after making sure no one was around to see at least three times] your apartment while he was in his full Batman getup, bringing you some smaller, easier to hide away things like bracelets and necklaces.

And during the day, he'd be where ever he'd knew you'd be. Whether it was your apartment, your job, anywhere, he'd personally come deliver you yet another gift.

Takeout from your favorite place? He's brought it to you for lunch.

He saw you post about something [whether it be a stuffed animal, jewelry, etc] on social media because it's cool or cute? It's been hand delivered to you by him.

"I saw you talking about how much you wanted these, so I got them for you. Why..? Because I miss you."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤTim...

...was devastated when you broke up with him. He didn't realize that all this work being a vigilante that made him miss out on oh so many dates had taken as big of a toll on your relationship as it did.

And by the time he'd realized, the cracks had already formed, and you'd broken up with him. You wanted a partner who could meet you half-way, even if he was a little busy at times.

But that didn't stop him from immediately trying to win you back. Gifts? You've got it. Whether they were bought or handmade, it didn't really matter. He'd get you something.

Not to mention the texts, phone calls, voicemails, everything. He's going the full nine yards to show you just how sorry he is, and just how badly he wants you back.

"I know I've said I was sorry so many times, but I really am! I promise I'll do everything in my power to be there for our date nights, so please take me back.."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤDick...

...definitely wasn't expecting for you to break up with him. Sure, he's been in plenty of relationships before, but he'd never expected you to get the courage to tell him you wanted to break up.

He didn't even realize he missed you as much as he did until one night while patrolling, a month or two after your break-up, he saw you walking along the streets of Gotham.

And damn were you still as pretty as the first time he saw you. In fact, scratch that, as pretty as the last time he saw you. Which was when you broke up with him.

So from then on, when Gotham is just a little less quiet and he can afford to do a little slacking off, he walks with you. You had this weird routine of walking for an hour at night, anyway.

At first he made small-talk. Asked you how your day was, why you were taking a walk [he already knew why. he just wanted to hear that pretty voice of yours more!], how you'd been since the break-up, if you were seeing anyone [this was extremely important and he'd express why after a bit of prompting], as one does.

Then it ramps up to him telling you how much he missed you, how pretty and attractive you were still, the works. He then ramps up to just blatant flirting, maybe even making sure he was touching you in some way, like an arm around your shoulder. Or maybe even subtly holding your hand under the premise of him wanting to show you something that you didn't know the way to.

And after that, if you still didn't miss him enough to take him back? He's just obvious. Asking you on dates, showing up to your home with gifts, everything. He'll go the whole nine yards for you, just so you'll take him back.

"Aww, c'mon! Just one date, sweetheart. Please? I promise that if you don't want me back after just one date I won't bother you again."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤJason...

...definitely didn't want to admit he wanted you back until it's been nearly six months since you broke up, and words going around that your starting to date again.

This pisses him off, for reasons he wasn't sure about.

So before you know it, he's popping up just about everywhere. Getting him to admit he missed you and regretted the breakup is no easy feat, and you'll likely not ever get him to admit it out loud.

I can't really see Jason making any grand or large gestures, just small little ones that maybe have some sort of sentimental value.

He'd probably drop by your home every now and then. If he's hurt in some way, you bet your ass he's right there on your fire escape, knocking on your window to let him in.

Even if it's just something so incredibly minor he could take care of himself, he's using it as an excuse to see you again.

While he's not totally experienced with being overly romantic, he's got his moments of being just a little bit sappy.

"Why go through the hard work and trouble of finding someone else if I'm right here?"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤBabs...

...wasn't expecting to miss you after you two broke things off. She figured she'd be fine on her own, but she was quickly proven wrong.

I can see her giving gifts, but she'd be more-so trying to spend as much time as she could with you. Texts, both early morning and late night phone calls, voicemails about how much she regrets breaking up, and probably more.

Lot's of "I miss you" and "I still like/love you" texts, maybe some "Can we please get back together?" texts mixed as well.

She'll make how much she misses you known.

"Please come back, I miss our little movie date nights."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤStephanie...

...is just like Jason in a way, when it comes to realizing she misses having you around.

But she does come to terms with the fact that she misses you. She'll be a little hesitant to admit it in words, but she'll make it known in small gestures.

The breakup was definitely amicable, so you two are kind of just awkwardly still friends. But any time you two hangout, it borderlines being a date.

Movies? Only if it's something that will remind you of stuff you two liked to watch together when you were dating.

Going for a walk? She'll make sure you two just so happen to pass by a spot you guys went to for your first date.

She'll even still pretend to "accidentally" call you by the nicknames she had for you whilst you were dating.

But if even that doesn't work, she'll just start making you two "hangout" at places you've gone to for dates before.

"Wow, this place hasn't changed a bit since the last time we were here, huh? Brings back memories."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤCassandra...

...of course, isn't really sure what to do when she notices she's missing you. You were probably one of her first relationships, which just only adds onto her confusion of what to do.

She'd probably go seek Babs and Stephanie out for advice, asking them what they think she should do. Just what she should do.

After getting advice from the two, she thinks it over for a little bit before she starts anything. She probably also tries to feel you out to check if you feel the same way she does.

And if you do, or if she finds out your unsure, she starts giving you small gifts. And I mean small. Just mostly little trinkets and knickknacks that she finds while out and about.

Buttons? Pins? Small figurines, no bigger than the palm of your hand? She's getting them for you.

Of course, this is to help her just get a little confidence before she drops the question about getting back together.

And when she does drop the question, she tries to make it sound like she's being genuine. She probably brought another small little gift, maybe one of your favorite snacks.

"I know you said you liked these when we were together, right? I know you may think I wasn't really.. paying attention, but most of the time, but I promise I was. And I'm sorry I didn't do that great of a job of showing you that I cared about you. Please take me back?"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤKate Kane..

...is both similar to Stephanie and Jason. While she'll think she's better off without you, there's almost a constant reminder of you somewhere in her world.

And it just draws her back to you.

It's very much a push and pull sort of thing with her, as some days she's fully willing to admit just how much she misses you and wants you back, while others she'd never admit to even a word of it.

She'll also bring you sentimental gifts sometimes. Mostly just leaves them somewhere she knows only you will find them with a little note attached.

Though the contents of the little notes will greatly vary from "I miss you", "I know you like these so I got them for you", to just her name sometimes.

Saw these and thought of you. -K

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤDinah Lance...

...is most definitely bold and maybe even a little bit flirty. When she realized that she definitely wasn't ready to move on from you quite yet, she put all her effort into wooing you back.

She'd probably try to play off the fact you two are suddenly running into each other at things you like, it's really just so she can see you again. Making you unintentionally [but kind of purposefully] think of her again whenever you thought about the things you like.

After a bit of this, though, she just downright starts asking you out to dates. If she knows certain places hold sentimental value because they were your favorite date spots with her, she'll ask you on a date to there again.

"Oh? Didn't know you were coming here today. Maybe it's a sign you should just let me take you on a date today."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤHelena Bertinelli...

...wasn't usually the type to dwell on her exes. But you? You were all that was on her mind after the breakup.

While she spends many a night deleting text after text, trying to come up with the right set of sentences to tell you just how much she misses you and wants you back, she does eventually send something.

And from there she just gets a little bolder.

Lingering touches, like her hand grazing against yours if you are handing her something. Staring at you for just a few seconds longer than needed, all that stuff.

It does take her a bit of time to get the confidence to just straight up asking you out on another date, though when she does, she's already got it all planned out.

"Do you still like that one restaurant we went to for our anniversary? .... Why? Oh, well, I wanted to make sure I didn't need to cancel the reservation I made."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤDiana

...didn't have thoughts of missing you. At first.

She did start thinking of you again when you two were assigned on a mission together. And all it did was really get you stuck in her head.

The way you looked, whether it was the way you fight or just generally how you look in your vigilante costume? It just kept replaying in her head over and over again.

So now anytime your out and about doing your own thing, under your vigilante guise? She's found an excuse to be joining you.

Whether that excuse is "you looked like you needed help", or "my patrols been pretty quiet, so I thought I'd join you", she's always got some excuse you can't argue back about.

Eventually she starts dropping hints about wanting to get back together with you. But whether she's good at dropping these hints or not is entirely up to how oblivious you could be.

Eventually she just tires out of dropping hints and just makes you look at her when she just drops the question. Think of the classic "grabbing your chin and turning your head to look at them" kind of deal.

"How about we go out this Sunday, hmm? ... Yes, on a date. What, did you think I was going to ask you to patrol with me or something?"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤDamian...

...most definitely is stubborn when it comes to your break-up. He doesn't even want to entertain the thought that the reason he might be so grouchy whenever he sees you talking to someone else, or hears about how you may be crushing on someone else, is because he misses you. And is jealous, of course.

Even the sheer mention of your name around him, whether it be from his older brothers [mainly Dick because he is most certainly the teasing older brother type], he get's all grouchy and almost pouty.

He does try to help you out around school, though. He may act all mean and cold towards you, he'll act like he's "reluctantly" helping you out.

"you can't be trusted to carry this stuff," he'll try and say as he takes that stack of chairs, books, whatever it is in your hands away to do it himself. His hidden little agenda is that he's hoping you'll miss him because of him helping you out.

His "compliments" aren't always easily understood as such, though. "You didn't do terrible, for once" he might say as he hands you your graded test.

In order for him to get the courage to ask you out again, though, will definitely take some coaxing. [And maybe some teasing from Dick, too]

But when he does, it's a 50/50 chance of him saying it in a sweet way, or in his usual cold and almost brat-like demeanor.

"If I take you out on a date, will that get you to shut up for at least five minutes?"

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ‎‎‎ㅤ╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

#oneshot #gender neutral reader #dc universe #bruce wayne #tim drake #diana prince #cassandra cain #damian wayne #babs #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #dick grayson #richard grayson #jason todd #kate kane #dinah lance #helena bertinelli #x reader #gn reader #diana x reader #barbara x reader #barbara gordon x reader #kate kane x reader #jason todd x reader #stephanie brown x reader #cassandra cain x reader #damian wayne x reader #dick grayson x reader #richard grayson x reader #dinah lance x reader

[kurosstuff]

Hihi Lovely~

I have a fluff prompt for the followers event

🍯 Reader (can be fem or gn i dont mind) is an exorcist and they get really hurt on the last exorcism and so they are gone for weeks and Sera is freaking out and can’t come see them cause of her work. But they surprise her with flowers and showing up when she’s working?? (They escaped the hospital-)

Hi sweetie ~ thank you for requesting! Hope you like it♡♡

Warming(s): fighting detailed? Idk I don't know how to write fights. Blood. Sera being a worry wart

Sera x GN!Exorcist! reader: Escape artist

The job was supposed to be easy.

It was almost always easy. But not this time. Somehow? The demons were told how to fight back. How to win. How to hurt angels. You weren't even aware that was possible. But seeing both your bosses reactions? You growled now annoyed. They knew.

Of fucking course they knew.

And they didn't tell the Exorcists? The actual FUCK is that? You raged, slicing demons left and right covered in a mix of angel blood and demon blood. Taking a deep breath, your wings flapped in anger. You weren't surprised. Their too prideful to have warned anyone. You silently cursed, Adam and Lute.

If you knew you could get hurt? Your arm wouldn't have been bleeding. You wouldn't have ran face first into battle. Dodging an attack from your opponent, you easily sliced his arm off. "Hands off, sinner," you growled out. Punching the demons face away from you.

Unaware of the crowd forming behind you. Unaware it was all a trap for you. Hands grabbed you snarling you glared at the sinners. "Unhand me-" your voice cut out from a scream escaping you as a demon broke your arm. Another grabbing your weapon, stabbing into you repeatedly, making you lose so much blood. Everything went black when you heard a familiar voice yelling at you - blurred vision - as you saw what looked to be Adam rushing to you

-

It was quiet as Sera worked. A usually calming day turned to an unsettling feeling. Sera felt off. It was so unnerving that - why did she have such a bad feeling? Like it wasn't as calming as she assumed? As she hoped? Glancing at the feather around her neck, she smiled, kissing it gently. "Be safe, my love. Soon, you'll be here. Back" a loud bang down the hall was heard followed by yells of something. Leaning back, she tapped her feathered pen humming that unnerving feeling grew.

Sera stopped seeing Adam. Who? Weirdly was quiet. Putting her pen down, she watched. Waiting for him to speak. Watching how uncomfortable he was. A bad feeling crept up her. She didn't like this. Not one bit. As he spoke, she listened to him. Listened to how he spoke of an accident. What exactly what happened he wouldn't say until he said your name. Her blood ran cold. Her extra eyes popping out, staring him down

"What?"

Adam gulped "i- like I said. Your mate? Y/N? Got hurt. Badly." Knowing it was his fault. And by the look in her eyes? She knew it too "look- I- no one saw the demon. No one expected them to try to fight back Ser- High Leader" correcting himself knowing how she got in when mad. Better to be fully respectful. Despite her being kind- she is still a Seraphim.

"I told you. To keep them safe. You know how-" she snarled about to break her composure. Covering her face, giving her a second. Swallowing her rage "Adam. You are excused. Do not allow another to come in here for the time being" making him nod

"I think- I think you should visi-"

"What did I say?"

At that? He turned rushing off without a word. No matter how she wished to. She can't visit. She's the high leader. She has a job to do. No matter how she longed to see her Mate. To see her love. To see how their doing. She can't

Picking up the pen, she sighed, knowing? You were aware of it as well.

-

Weeks.

A full three weeks since the last extermination. Since Sera saw you. Heard from you- she wasn't sure what was going on. Frantically, she focuses on her work. To not lose her composure. Yet. She wondered. Are you ok? Do you wish she gave up her work her responsibilities? To rush to your side?

Taking a deep breath, she played with the feather nervous. Oh, how she hopes you know even if she wanted to. She couldn't be able to. Not with her rules. Not with how important her reputation is. Closing her eyes. She hummed

She needed more coffee.

And by God does she need it bad.

-

Taking a full three weeks to rest was boring. Didn't matter the broken arm nor how the stitches in your sides burned. Made you wince by even moving. You sighed, glancing out the window, smiling the best you could. Half your face bandaged up from the slashes. Thank God it was from a normal weapon you thought. Can't lose an eye. But luckily it'll reheal itself

Glancing around the room, you hummed, thinking before smirking at a thought. You could sneak out. See Sera- God, do you miss her. Humming softly you hopped she was resting. Not overworking when she's upset or panicked.

But you knew better.

You knew she was despite you wishing otherwise. Cause, of course, she'd worry. Of course, she'd panic. So? She's over working herself.

Getting up was the tricky part. Legs aren't broken, no, but the pain in your body was too great. Thankfully, your wings were somehow in perfect condition. Helping you get up, flapping to stand up. Taking a deep breath, ignoring how your body begged you to get back to bed. To rest.

You needed to see your mate.

-

Luckily, it didn't take too long.

Just needed to rush to get flowers avoid the guards(who knew you'd probably run) and escape to Seras office. Now- the tricky part sneaking INTO her office. No doubt if her guards saw? They'd wisk you back to the hospital. Not wanting to be in trouble for aiding a break out.

Snickering at the thought, you held the flowers close, flying past some guards easily. Making you hum. Surely their not that blind no? Surely theyd.. be more vigilant. More watchful.

But no.

They arent

Good thing for this, but.. bad job at guarding. Rolling your eyes, you entered into her office frowning, seeing how ruffled her feathers are. Walking up to her, you gulped, nervous. Would she be upset your here?

"Thought I said no guests. Leave. I'm in no mood"

Your nerves melted at her voice no matter how angry she sounded. You were just glad to hear from her after weeks, "Not even your mate?" AT that? She snapped up, looking dead at you. Blank. Before she teared up, smiling tiredly rushing to you gently lifting upu "got flowers?"

"Oh my swan~ who cares for that? Your..your ok~ your here-" she stopped staring at you, her wings enveloping you in a hug "you snuck out. You should be resting. Not- not here!" She scoffed but the smile on her face? Said otherwise

"Needed to see you," you smiled softly, kissing her knuckles as she gently nuzzled you. "I missed you. I know you're a busy woman, but.. I was hoping you'd be resting?" Kissing her softly as she hummed

"If I did. It wouldn't be good. I'd be pulling my feathers out to find you -" whispering softly to you, holding you closer. Sighing, she reluctantly away. "My swan. You need to go back. As much as.. I wish for you to stay. You can't. Your stitches need constant watch" she frowned Kissing you again gently

"Only if you take a break"

"My swan," she huffed, giving you a look, making you huff shrugging

"Then I guess.. I'll stay here?" With a deep sigh knowing she lost she nodded. Rubbing your waist gently "fine I'll. I'll take breaks. Not long ones but.. fine" she grumbled as you grinned nodding

If this is what you're both gonna see after the five weeks are up? You both can wait another two. But for now. Until the nurses come retrieve you. She'll cradle you close. Gently as if you'd break. She's let herself be a bit selfish until then. Take her much needed break

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #sera seraphim #hazbin hotel sera #sera x reader #seraphim #EVENT

[yourmidnightlover]

undeserving

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: your self destructive tendencies have won this round, leading to you making a pivotal decision to end your relationship with bucky.

warnings: intense depression and self hatred, low self esteem/self worth, ANGST LMAOOO, no happy ending :(

a/n: short and not so sweet. idk why i was wanting to write something so sad lol. on a brighter note... i'm currently working on the next chapter to timeless :)

you didn't deserve the love you were being shown.

your pulse racing, tears clouding your vision as the music drowned out all of your senses that remained. he enveloped you entirely, made you want to be better.

he deserved so much. so much more than what you could give him.

he had come back from literal hell on the other side, and the world, ever so cruel, gave him you. a sick sense of humor it's got, truly.

you're weighed down by the simple tasks of everyday life. getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, showering... everything is a battle.

there was an urge, an unbridling urge, to want to be everything he deserved and more. but something in your godforsaken brain wasn't clicking.

the chemical imbalance in your brain has ruined your path. now, it was muddy and cloudy and there was no clear answer of what to do or say or ask in order to fix it.

but when you see him, his strength, you simply feel pitiful. how could someone battle his inner demons everyday and win, conquering them as he has battles from his past, be with someone who let menial tasks ruin their day?

so, as he stood in his tux, awaiting your arrival so he could finally ask you to dance, you approached him with baited breath.

"may i have this dance, doll?" he held his hand out, an uncharacteristic smile gracing his lips, the one that only showed when you were near.

you couldn't trust your voice. instead, you placed your hand in his, relishing in the fire that sparked from his touch, savoring it as if it were the last time. because it was.

you rested your head on his chest, swaying to the music as your free hand grasped his shoulder, tethering yourself to the ground so you wouldn't float away like you desperately wanted.

maybe you should've bribed the dj, made him put this song on a loop. a promise of calm and serenity before you wrecked your entire world.

maybe it was your self destructive tendencies that made this decision.

maybe it was reality sinking in, that the an who was holding you like you were the most beautiful thing to exist should be holding someone who truly was beautiful... and unbroken.

as the song came to a close, you pulled back with tears in your eyes. you could see his face contorting as he tried to piece together why you were so distraught.

"'doll..." his hands grasped your waist tenderly, gently squeezing as if he, too, was trying to ensure that he wouldn't float away.

"i-i can't," you choked on a sob, not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of the beautiful event. "i'll always love you, james," you let your hands hold his face one last time, leaning forward to press a kiss to his nose. "but i can't be with you anymore." your voice was cracking as the tears were streaming down your face, breaking down the stoic barrier you had tried to keep plastered up through the night.

you couldn't look in his eyes again. they would tell a story you were too afraid to hear. they would whisper that you were being a coward, too scared to not amount to the expectations you had set for yourself. they would whisper that you should listen to bucky when he told you how wonderful you are.

eventually, they would convince you to stay.

but staying would mean you were dragging him down with you. you refused to be that kind of burden to him.

later, when he retreated to his room, bucky would find a letter you had written him. one detailing the shortcomings you believed you had, how he deserved more and better than someone so tormented by their own mind.

how you were so undeserving of his love.

#bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #marvel #sargeant barnes #angst #bucky angst #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes oneshot

[findafight]

Jonathan’s line about Steve in vol 2 was so…. I don’t know. I mean yeah it straight up confirms that Nancy and Jonathan make fun of Steve behind his back, and like I get that I have never been in Nancy’s situation so obviously it seems more mortifying to me, but I would have felt so guilty in her place. I can’t imagine not shutting Jonathan up if he started shit talking about Steve. Like Steve would have been straight up unmentionable if I was Nancy. Idk.

I get that Duffers don’t treat their characters emotional lives seriously, but like. That’s why Robin being kind to Nancy in s5 despite Nancy’s uh.. well frankly appalling attitude towards Robin, makes zero sense to me. I really wanted Nancy to struggle being in Steve’s group. Not in the “she deserves it bhahaha” way, but like… Steve dumped his friends for her (which was good for him), and her expecting to get the same treatment and meeting Robin instead? Who actively dislikes her and for a good reason? Who is smart and cool and kind? That’s way more interesting than people kissing Nancy’s ass the whole season, while she is actively putting Max’s life in danger. Like, yeah in high school she is the chief editor of the newspaper, and at home she is the eldest sister, and with Jon she makes fun of Steve, and now none of these people are here, but Steve is here and so is his bestie. And Steve is as kind as always, but Robin dislikes her, and it is not just prejudice

Nancy Wheeler you wild girl! She has no guilt lmao She's like yeah steve was dumb and annoying and didn't enable my investigation, and jon goes yep, what an idiot. All while Steve is just like. bumpin around making friends with little nerds haha. Minding his own business blaming himself for the end of their relationship. You're right, it's kinda bonkers because even if we take the stance that Nancy didn't cheat (which I believe she did) like. she still had him as her second choice and as soon as he pushed back a bit and didn't give her the kind of support she wasn't telling him she needed (until talking about exposing the lab in the library where anyone could hear) she jumped ship and ran to Jonathan. Why would she want to talk about Steve? Why wouldn't she want to try to forget he ever existed as anything other than Mike's friend Dustin's older friend? Is that not weird for her?

(i think you might mean s4? but i can work with s5 too haha) It's so much more compelling to me to have Nancy and Robin at odds with each other because Robin is like a little guard chihuahua holding a grudge for Steve. She holds grudges so well let her do it more!! like jesus give him someone in his corner! And also for herself! She got so nervous and tried to explain and defend herself, and Nancy only really started to listen once they got into the hospital. Nancy has a not great plan that puts one of the kids in danger, one of the kids Steve is close to. (Max wrote him a letter!!) I think Robin would really see Steve's people as her people, even if she wasn't personally close to them she'd still feel comfortable around the younger teens because Steve is? Let robin be critical of this plan. Let her call it out or something. Give Nancy someone to push against, it's no fun if there's no resistance! I want Nancy to be the one wanting friendship with Robin, and Robin not being receptive to it. Nancy not having a relationship handed to her would be refreshing and I want to see how she'd try to win Robin's friendship.

Let Robin not want to work with Nancy because she's heard the rumours about how her and Steve ended, even though he only mentioned that he wasn't a good boyfriend ans wasn't what she needed so it didn't work out. Robin saw that one week Steve and Nancy had a fight, and a day later she was ditching with Jonathan? yeah something is fishy there to even the most socially oblivious person. Let Robin know Steve well enough that she knew he at least thought he was telling the truth but that there must have been more. Let Robin decide she was going to do the most cliche best friend thing and not be very nice to the ex that broke her bestie's heart.

ooooh anon what you're saying is so interesting because, yeah. Steve dumped Tommy and Carol for Nancy, and that was good for him, and then Nancy got with Jonathan who doesn't really have any friends in Hawkins. So she's always been her boyfriend's main person of similar age they're close to. But now Steve's got Robin. Who is funny and kind and weird and loyal and smart and sarcastic. Who is obsessed with Steve and who Steve is also obsessed with. And that, from a s5 stancy pov, is so interesting because now Nancy is now competing (in her mind) for her boyfriend/potential bf's attention with his best friend. Like Jonathan was focused on his family, obviously (and this caused strain for them too) but it's not the same socially as a best friend taking priority. Steve would still hold those relationships, because they're good for him and good for the others, and there's zero reason for him to abandon them this time.

I think Nancy would hate it. Like Steve would obviously give her tonnes of attention, but with him having actual close friendships not just with Robin but Dustin and Max (at least) too, she'd still feel like she was bartering for time with him. That is suuuuch a fun potential dynamic between nancy and steve and also nancy and steve's friends.

#findaanswers #Anonymous #I think an interesting thing about Nancy is she absolutely HATES when her romo partner doesn't back up her crazy schemes #we see it in s2 and s3 it's so interesting to me but I don't really see it talked about. #Nancy wheeler I wanna study you like a bug #stranger things #stranger things meta #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #robin buckley #stobin #sorta? yeah I talk about them enough it counts #stancy #I guess. more fail stancy than not but also just potential dynamic #finda's rambles

[ummmlife]

Poor, sad, miserable teen!Nanami

Warnings!: post Haibara's death Nanami ; teen nanami ; angst (?) ; fluff (?) ; nanami×reader ; she / her pronouns reader ; reader is Nanami's (check on the translator) senior (aka Gojo's age) ; headcanon, drabble, idk, i wrote. if something doesn't makes sense, my sincerest apologies for not knowing how to speak english properly 🫠

We already know that teenage Nanami was a very pessimistic and unsociable person. While our adult Nanami is an exemplary person who knows social norms well and follows them perfectly, teenage Nanami was not like that. He was trained to be an adult from the young age of 15 (I assume because of Itadori's age).

But what events happened to turn Kento Nanami from an inexperienced (emo) teenager to an exemplary adult?

Tragedies, that's what happened.

In our modern society we know and understand that child labor is something inconceivable and even illegal in many countries, I mean, it is written in human rights. So we could assume that Jujutsu society operates the same way... Hahaha no. Good grief, if that were so there would be no such thing as manga/anime (Akutami you're cruel).

Why would we believe that in a society commanded by conservative and traditionalist elders, who (and this is my thought) surely rejoiced when Japan was a colonizing empire during WWII, would protect children? In this cruel world you learn to survive, and burdened with the curse of being a Jujutsu Sorcerer you have no escape.

So Nanami, against his will and coming from a family of non sorcerers, is forced to settle in this rotten society.

If being a sorcerer is a very low possibility, probably much lower than winning the lottery, it would not be difficult to expect that in a single class there would be one or at most three Jujutsu students. This was the case with Nanami and Haibara. Two kids with completely different personalities and motivations who, by the vagaries of the universe, ended up in the same situation together (and with the same fate awaiting them. Crying).

Nanami, yes, was a pessimistic, introverted, grumpy teenager, but at least he had Haibara with him who, even if he never said it out loud, gave him hope that maybe and just maybe being a sorcerer wasn't so bad.

Hell only knows the pain and despair the death of his only friend caused Nanami.

To be born into a faded world only to meet a rainbow and then have it snuffed out by a typhoon, yeah, it wasn't easy. Nanami could even understand why Suguru Geto, who by the way Haibara was a fan of, decided to become a Curse User. For Nanami himself the temptation was so much, so palpable and easy to choose. But he knew that: 1. Haibara wouldn't have liked it, 2. Following Geto's path would have mentally exhausted him more and 3. He couldn't afford to hurt more fellow Jujutsu Sorcerers.

That is why Nanami was only looking forward to his graduation day, but silently. He wished to simply disappear, not only from the Sorcerer profession but also from this world.

Nanami was lost, mired in depression and no one seemed to care. If everyone was so busy minding their own business then he had to mind his own life as well. Go on missions alone, study alone, fight alone, eat alone, live and wait to die alone.

— "Are you sleeping well? I notice you're more exhausted than before."

Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought, maybe he mattered to someone: his senior.

Another sorceress a year above him, a classmate of Gojo and Ieiri. A sweet and caring girl for whom, at some point when Haibara was still alive, Nanami felt loving feelings for her begin to surface.

— "Yeah... I'm fine."

Lying is bad but worrying others is worse.

Nanami was eating lunch, alone as usual, a sandwich he made himself. Sitting on the stairs outside the school listening to the cicadas and the sound of the leaves on the trees moving in the soft autumn wind. His senior sat beside him, in complete silence, knowing full well that Nanami is not a big fan of social interactions.

— "I hear you've perfected your innate Cursed Technique..."

Still, she tries to dialogue with him. At least a little bit.

— "Yeah…"

Nanami might feel uncomfortable, but the closeness of his senior makes him feel calm, it makes him feel peace.

In a world where children are forced to live and think like adults in life and death situations, the company of someone who is at least a little more mature is comforting.

— "I miss him too, you know? Haibara."

It hurts, it hurts so much. Nanami stops eating as he feels his stomach twist with the memories of that fateful day when Haibara was killed because of a mistake by the adults, they sent them to their death and it was all because of a mistake. Nanami closes his eyes and breathes in an attempt to calm his anxiety.

This has happened before, indeed, it happens every night. Nanami hasn't been able to sleep well since the Haibara incident, having no one to comfort or hold him when he cries his soul out before trying to sleep.

That's why the moment he felt his senior's delicate hands bringing his head to her shoulder to comfort him it completely threw him off. It felt good, warm for the first time.

— "If you keep holding back you're going to end up hurting yourself even more."

That sentence alone was enough to make Nanami completely break down in tears. It was the first time in years feeling comfort from someone in such an intimate and satisfying way.

Nanami cried, hugged and clung to his senior as he had never done with anyone before, only maybe with his mother when he was a child. He couldn't contain himself when he felt her lips gently pressing against his crown of his head, it was like a dream.

— "Can I ask you not to leave?"

It was so embarrassing but so necessary for him to ask that. Her senior's soft and sweet smile was like a gift to his aching heart.

— "I don't plan to go anywhere."

*sobs* Emo Nanami, so cute ‹𝟹 must protect!!!!!

#jjk nanami #nanami headcanons #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu nanami #kento nanami #teen!nanami #nanami drabbles #nanami angst #nanami fluff #nanami headcanon #teen nanami #. bibi's writing

[crow-the-unknown]

ok but not enough people are intrigued and obsessed and fascinated by connor mcdavid in the way i and others on this site are. like yes, yes i could ramble on and on about his skill. he is the best player in the world. period. you can't challenge that and if you are... are you blind? potentially uhm, how do i say this lightly, not smart? etc? there's no contention there, everyone knows it. and he's fast, and whatever. but i don't care about that. that's mcdavid. that's the man that i used to be so annoyed with because no one would shut up about him even when he wasn't even playing (and that's still annoying to me tbh it just happens less now). that's the star player on a team i used to hate when the avs played them ( idk why, i just always hated playing the oilers even when i started getting a soft spot for them). but, and i've said it before, mcdavid isn't connor.

connor is the one i'm so fascinated and intrigued by. it's not his hockey iq or his speed or anything. what i'm obsessed with is that haunted aura he carries everywhere and i mean everywhere. he just seems so... out of place? like you can almost tell he doesn't quite fit in. which is a little ironic and sad for the best player in the world, isn't it? but accurate, too. he's so unique and set apart and burdened with expectations that he wouldn't be allowed to be normal even if he tried. and you can see it clear as day. everyone jokes around about him having no personality but what else is he supposed to do when he gets asked the same question a million times anymore? i'd look just as haunted and annoyed if i were him.

but here's the thing. he's not just that broken boy either. he's a bit of a goof, actually. and it still surprises me, but he is. he's a silly fucking guy. i mean he goes out there and just lights it up, every night. and then you come to find out that he was the one organizing those stupid post-game berets and the plungers and shit? like i'm sorry? you're telling me the face of the league and one of the guys known for being incredibly dry, did that? and that he's out here helping with the all-star stuff, being sweet and showing (at least in part) some of his real self to these little kids who are growing up idolizing him, and being lovey with teammates. he's slipping on the ice hugging the team made of people he loves with all the passion he can muster because god he just wants to win it here. with them. FOR them. he wants to so so bad and it hurts.

like seriously i could go on and on about this guy. about how if people would just give a shit they would see the real person he is - haunted and silly in full - behind the layers of stress about expectations so high they're unachievable, annoyance with the same stupid questions being thrown at him, and the pressure to be the perfect star. if they would just care enough to pay attention to how he smiles at leon or how he cellys or how he hugs his teammates like they're his lifeline they would see connor, not just mcdavid. they would see the love and the care that shapes those haunted eyes. maybe. just maybe.

anyway connor mcdavid is an enigma and a weirdo and i love him so so much and i'm so so fascinated by him 🫠🫶

#edmonton oilers #connor mcdavid #idk if any of this is literate but i have so many thoughts about him i cannot contain myself #he's like a scared lost little doe on the side of the freeway and i want to give him a hug and then send him out there with a knife #watching him claw his way to a cup with edmonton like a proud mother who would die for her son #it's a need. i need him to win it with leo in edm. that's my christmas wish. santa i'm begging. hockey gods im begging. anyone #GET THIS SILLY LITTLE MANIAC A STANLEY CUP OR SO HELP ME-

[illicitlimerence-writes]

superheroes and flat caps | m. verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x singer!actress!reader word count: 9.4k words (i'm not sorry) request: yes, by anons: “hi babes, can i request a max v piece where you two met in monaco 2021 and you hit it off and became best friends and then started dating in december after he won the championship and your relationship wasn't public but there were speculations (reader is a famous singer and actress) and then miami gp 2022 after his win max just kisses the reader and thus outs them? 🥺” & “how about a fic of being best friends with max but he has such a soft spot for the reader and they pretty much act like a couple? 🥺” & “helloo! could i maybe request a fic where max is teaching the reader how to drive a manual. like it would just be super cute and fluffyyy. also, i really love your workss ❤️” & “hi can i request something where reader has a really bad panic attack and no one can help her calm down but max? warnings: this is really freaking long and i haven't slept in like 24 hours. not proofread bc i really wanted to post this rn. language, time skips, mentions of j*s verstappen, h*rner, m*rko. drinking(legal), idk what else. a/n: well that was an interesting weekend.

my masterlist

(post-race max supremacy)

may 20th, 2021.

the first time she set foot in monaco, she didn’t know what to expect. she’d been invited to the f1 race weekend in monte carlo, which was both nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. she was new to all the glitz and glamour of fame, and she only had what she’d seen in movies as reference to how monaco was.

she had the vip pass hanging from her neck, since she hadn’t been invited by a team specifically, she was free to roam around wherever she wanted to, which was nice, but at the same time, she didn’t have one specific spot that she could claim as hers. she was walking through the paddock, spotting many a-list celebrities, most of them probably didn’t even know who she was, but her fans did recognize her.

“hi, can we take a picture with you?” two girls about her age stopped her, she smiled and nodded.

“of course!” she grinned at the camera waving at the girls as they left, she took a step back, stumbling into a person passing by, “oh, god, i’m so sorry!” she apologized quickly, seeing a guy wearing a red bull polo and cap, she recognized him, it was the red bull racing star, max verstappen. “sorry, i didn’t look where i was-”

“it’s okay, don’t worry,” he gave her a small smile, she felt her cheeks heat under his stare, “are you lost?” he asked.

“uh, i actually don’t have anywhere to go, i don’t really know where i’m supposed to be,” she chuckled, feeling a small knot of nerves in her stomach. “i wasn’t invited by a team and it’s my first time here and-” she took a deep breath, “and now i’m rambling and wasting your time, i’ll find my way eventually, don’t wo-”

“you can come with me if you want,” he offered.

“oh no, i’m sure i’ll be fine,” she shook her head, taking a step back, accidentally colliding with another person, “sorry!” she apologized again, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

“really, i think it will be better for the whole paddock if you crashed in the red bull garage,” he chuckled. she covered her face with her hands, laughing lightly, “come on, we don’t bite,” he winked at her, she nodded after a few seconds, a small smile on her face.

“are you allowed to bring in strangers to the garage, though?” she asked.

“well, you’re not a stranger, everyone here knows who you are!” he smiled.

“wha- you do?” 

“of course! one of my best mates is a huge marvel nerd and he made me watch the show you’re in,” he laughed. “i liked it, didn’t understand much of it, but i enjoyed it. and your character, you were my favorite,” he nodded, and the heat in her cheeks intensified.

“thank you, i wasn’t too sure if the public would like me, or the character, but-”

“are you kidding? you were the best part of the show. i didn’t really connect with the story at first. the whole, switching decades and references to old sitcoms was neat and all, but there was something missing, i was about to change and put another show or film but when i saw your face on the screen i just knew things were about to get interesting,” she was left speechless, then a huge grin formed slowly on her lips.

“thank you,” she said, biting her lip as she felt a funny feeling in her stomach. they reached the red bull hospitality, he let her in first, her eyes went a little wide as she saw everything. “this is nice,” she said.

“yeah, much better than anything else you could find out there,” he winked, again. she laughed, nodding.

“maybe,” she said.

it was pretty early, and they still had a few hours left before he had to prepare for the first practice session. he invited her to his driver’s room.

“you can wait there if you don’t want to be bothered by anyone while i’m gone,” he said, and it made her feel warm inside, that even though they had only just met he was already looking out for her. 

they talked about anything and everything they could think of, finding out they had more in common than they thought at first. her anxiety disappeared as she got to know max, it was like talking to an old friend. the jokes started mere minutes after they sat down next to each other.

she told him about her switch from singing to acting, a scary process that made her doubt her skills.

"i've only been doing this for a short time, it was risky because i could've lost everything i have, but i think it worked out in the end," she still couldn't believe how much her life had changed in just two years. her rise to fame came thanks to her music, but when she told her manager that she wanted to try acting as well, and the opportunity to be part of such an ambitious show like ‘wandavision’ was a once in a lifetime opportunity. plus, the character she performed was one that nobody really expected. a female version of an iconic character was something that raised eyebrows at first, "did you always know that racing is what you wanted to do?" she asked, 

"it's really not like i had any other choice, of course i enjoy doing it, and i have from a young age, but there was never really a plan b for me. i have been surrounded by this my entire life and it's what comes natural for me. i don’t really know what else i could do. but now we’re here, and i have a chance at winning the championship. that’s the goal,”

“is it your goal, though?” she asked, the words slipped out of her lips without thinking twice, and she only noticed what she’d said after she noticed that max didn’t reply for a few seconds. “i mean, are you really doing this for yourself, or because you feel like you have to do this to get your parents’ approval? but you obviously do have the passion and love for it, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it.”

“no, you- you’re right,” he admitted, “of course, at first i was really influenced by my dad, especially, i wanted to make him proud, and hopefully achieve what he couldn’t, but it’s become my life now. it’s what i love, it’s what i want to do, now i’m doing this for me.”

“you don’t have to explain yourself to me, i didn’t-”

“no, no, you’re okay, haven’t had a deep talk like this with someone in a while.” he chuckled, she smiled. 

“so, what happens today?” she asked, crossing one leg over the other, she leaned back against the couch in his driver’s room.

“we have free practice 1 and 2 in a bit, with a few hours break between each. practice is when we learn the track, even if you’ve been here before you still need to see how this year’s car will perform, but you have to be careful with all the tight corners, you don’t want to mess up your car, especially tomorrow before qualifying,” he explained.

“that’s when you figure out which order you’re starting on sunday?” she asked, even though her knowledge of the sport wasn’t that vast, some of the things she’d researched stuck with her.

“yeah,” he nodded. “there’s still some time left before fp1, why don’t we go down there? i can show you around,” he offered.

“oh, no, i- i don’t want to- you should probably start getting ready and i don’t know, train? before you get in the car, and-”

“you ramble a lot,” he noticed, “it’s cute,” he smiled. again, she felt her cheeks getting warm. “here’s a thing about me, if i didn’t want to do something, i wouldn’t offer. so, come on,” he got up, offering his hand. she thought about it for a second, but smiled, placing her hand in his as she got up.

“but you have to tell me when you need to leave, okay? i might be new to this but i can also take care of myself. and, i don’t want to be the reason you don’t perform well today,” she followed him out of his room, walking down the stairs.

“you can just stay in the garage if you want to,” he shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing, “wait, you should wear this,” he said, taking off his cap and placing it on her head, “there. and if anything, your presence there will just be another reason for me to try my best.”

“i never thought you’d be a sweet talker,” she let out a chuckle as they reached the garage.

“there’s a lot of things no one knows about me, schat,” he raised his eyebrows, a big smile on his face.

“oh, we’re starting with the nicknames so soon? okay. i’ll come up with something for you, then,” she chuckled.

“i’m sure you will, quicksilver,” he said, she rolled her eyes. her character in ‘wandavision’ was a female version of pietro maximoff, from a different universe, it certainly caught people’s attention, especially with the presence of the other pietro already in the show.

“that could be your nickname, though. you know, because you go really fast in the car,” she explained, lifting an eyebrow.

“we’ll both be quicksilver, then,” max nodded, and so did she, “okay,”

“okay.” she agreed, “now, teach me your nerdy f1 ways,”

the media was so confused after that thursday. both she and max were approached separately during the whole weekend, asking if they knew each other from before, what their relationship was like.

it was refreshing to create a bond with someone new so easily. it truly felt like they’d known each other in their past lives. they got along from the moment she stumbled into him, they could bounce off the other’s jokes, they created a chaotic environment in the red bull garage, -a band that granted her access to the garage now secured around her wrist-, one they hadn’t seen since 2018 when daniel and max were still teammates.

when max was gone, though, she hid back in her shell. but with him next to her, she didn’t care who was watching, he brought out the best of her.

may 22th, 2021.

he’d explained the day before how much he wanted to get a podium in monaco, it was his home now, and since starting his f1 career he’d never had the chance to step on the podium.

“your time will come, you just have to be careful,” she told him before the saturday qualifying session. “i’m sure it’ll come eventually. maybe even tomorrow, but you know you’ll have more chances here,” she reminded him, he nodded his head.

“i don’t know why i’m surprised that you’re good with speeches, you basically write poems for a living,”

“i know, i know, i’m the best,” she batted her eyelashes, making him laugh and throw an arm around her shoulders.

“it’s insane that we only met yesterday,” he said.

“i know. i’m not complaining, though,” she chuckled.

“yeah, me neither,” he let out a deep breath. “weekends will be boring from now on, without you here,”

“aw, but haven’t you heard that distance makes the heart grow fonder?” she teased, taking max’s cap from a nearby chair and putting it on.

“that’s bullshit, distance only creates issues.” he scoffed, she frowned. 

“you really think so?” she asked, throwing her legs over his lap, her back against the arm of the couch.

“it’s what i’ve experienced,” he said, his voice low. she noticed him tensing as he spoke, so she didn’t pry anymore.

“well, maybe it won’t be like that this time,” she smiled at him. he turned his head to look at her, to her hopeful eyes, and he couldn’t help but smile at her, too. he even felt his cheeks flushing. 

“thirty minutes, max!” the knock and call from outside of his driver’s room startled them both, she started laughing at her own reaction, to avoid embarrassment. 

“i have to get ready,” he said, patting her knee and lifting her legs as he got up, only to place them back down on his couch. he walked to a small closet where he kept his fireproof undershirt and pants, he took them out and placed it on the massage table set against the wall. without muttering a word, he started taking off his shirt.

“whoa! a little warning, please!” she covered her eyes with her hands, hearing his laugh.

“oh, come on, it’s not that big of a deal,”

“well, let me tell you, mr. verstappen, that guys usually take me out on a couple of dates before i see them shirtless,” she stood up, peeking from behind her fingers, seeing his naked back toward her. she walked to him and slapped his head, snickering as she heard a loud ‘ow!’ from the dutchman. “perv,” she smiled, walking to the door.

“are you mad?” he asked, she turned to look at him, opening the door. she shook her head side to side, the same grin on both of their faces. “hope you enjoyed the show!” he said as she took a step out of his room, his fireproof undershirt in his hands.

“quali is supposed to be the show, max! i’ll be in the garage, magic mike,” with that she shut the door, she heard max’s loud laugh, a small chuckle left her lips as she felt her cheeks warm. that seemed to be the permanent state of her face when she was around max. 

-

may 23rd, 2021.

“what are you doing?” max asked, she had her hands on his shoulders, her eyes closed.

“i’m passing all my quicksilver superpowers to you,” she replied, a small smile on her face. she’d noticed he was quite nervous before the race, and she wanted to show her support for her new friend.

“you do know that’s just in the show, right?” he asked, amusement clear in his voice. she peeked one eye open, seeing a big grin on his face. she patted herself on the back mentally, it was working.

“shut up, do you want the powers or not?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she stayed with shut eyes.

“fine,” he said.

-

she felt nervous as she walked alongside the red bull team to the podium. she didn’t really know anyone, but max had asked for her presence.

‘if i get a podium, no matter where i finish, i’d like to see you there.’ he told her before the race started. she felt the same funny feeling from friday in her stomach. she only nodded her head, letting him get back to his pre-race training.

and not only had he scored his first monaco podium, but he’d also won the race. the mechanics noticed her, and parted so she could squeeze her way through, so she was now against the barriers. she watched as max parked the car in front of the ‘1’ board, he turned off the car and took out the steering wheel so he could get out, placing it back after he got up.

the loud cheers from the people around her made her smile, she found herself doing the same. max congratulated the other two podium finishers, and finally, he made his way to his team. he jumped and they held him up, clapping his back, his helmet, his arms. even his butt. she laughed, watching as he took his helmet off, walking to her.

“i don’t want to say the powers worked, but…” she didn’t get to finish her sentence, as max wrapped his arms around her frame and pulled her as close to him as possible. she hugged him, hiding her face in his neck.

“thank you for your superpowers, quicksilver,” he said. she felt his breath on her ear, he sounded sincere. “thanks to you i won the race today,” she felt small tears in her eyes as she heard his words.

“no, you did all this by yourself, max.” she said, and max leaned back. he noticed the small tears in her eyes. “but you can keep the superpowers for as long as you need them,” she smiled, unwrapping his arms from him, letting him go to his post-race interviews and podium celebrations. he tapped the cap she was wearing, she winked at him.

-

june 24th, 2021.

“what do you mean you don’t know how to drive?” max asked, she rolled her eyes.

“manual. i don’t know how to drive a manual,” she corrected, kicking him.

“well you’re lucky your best friend drives for a living,” max said, standing up and offering his hand.

“aw, so you’ll be my chauffeur from now on?” she teased, smiling. 

“i already am and don’t even get paid,” he shook his head, grabbing her hand and lifting her back from her bed. “i’m teaching you how to drive,” he declared.

“no, max, i’m fine with only knowing automatic,” she protested, but max was already walking to her luggage and grabbing a pair of shoes for her. 

“you never know when you’ll need it,” he said, kneeling in front of her as he helped her put on her shoes, “come on, cinderella,” he picked her up by the waist and started walking with her in his arms.

“put me down!” she laughed, “where are you even going to teach me how to drive?” he put her down, and gave her a stern look. “oh, no! no, we’re not going to-”

-

“are you ready?” max asked, they both had helmets on, she had a frown on her face.

“i hate you,” she whispered, turning on the car. she was aware of the cameras set up all over the car, recording everything they said or did. “go on,” she took a deep breath.

“hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. i know it’s probably too late, but you can still back out, or i can go first,” 

“no, you were right, i have to learn at some point. and i guess you’re the best teacher anyone could ask for,” she replied. max was looking at her, and there was something in his eyes, something she hadn’t seen before. like a sparkle, a gleam. 

“i’m glad you feel that way,” he smiled. “ready?” he asked, she nodded, smiling at the camera. “hello, guys. max here, and today i’m joined by my friend, (y/n) (y/l/n),” he pointed at her, she waved to the camera, smiling. “we are here in austria, on the red bull ring track, because today i will be teaching (y/n) how to drive.”

“a manual!” she clarified, throwing him a dirty look, “i do know how to drive automatic, but this dork insists that i need to learn how to drive a manual as well. so here we are, pleasing the diva,” max rolled her eyes at his words.

“anyway, hope you guys enjoy. and pray for me,”

“shut up!” she laughed, slapping his arm.

it was already nerve-wracking enough to be driving with a literal professional racing driver next to her, but add to that the fact that they were in an f1 track, with dozens of people watching. she was nervous, and he could see that.

“so we’ll start slow, there’s really not much of a difference, you just need to coordinate the gear change and your feet.” he explained.

max was, surprisingly, a really great teacher. she didn’t know if it was because she was the student, but soon enough she found herself speeding on the main straight.

“brake, slowly, and switch,” he said a few seconds before she had to do it, so she had enough time to react and not screw up the beautiful honda car they were lent.

“am i doing it?” she asked, thinking out loud.

“you are, look at you!” max smiled, tapping the hand she had wrapped around the stick shift. “and you said you didn’t want to learn,” he turned to look at her, seeing an adorable frown between her brows, what he’d deemed as her concentration face.

“max, i’m driving a manual!” she squealed, her eyes flicking between the road ahead and her best friend sitting next to her.

“i told you, you could do it, schatje,” the nickname slipped from his lips easily, she’d taken a liking to the word since the first time she heard it. she liked it when she heard him say it, specifically. “there you go, keep going. if you can handle the curves you’ve got it,” he continued telling her what to do, and soon enough they finished their first lap. there was an excited smile on her face, and a proud look on his. “you’ve got it,” he clapped his hands as they approached the spot where they had started. 

“that was really fun,” she had both hands on the wheel now, gripping so tight that her knuckles were turning white. “i feel like my heart’s coming out of my chest,” she chuckled, placing a hand on her chest. “thank you,” she smiled, her cheeks hurting.

“you might give me a run for my money,” he leaned his head, covered by the helmet, against the headrest, face turned her way. she chuckled as she did the same. they both stayed quiet, the comfortable silence speaking louder than any words both of them could’ve said at that moment. the only thing they could hear were their deep breaths, “i have an idea, let’s switch,” max said, unbuckling his seatbelt and running to the other side of the car. he opened the door for her, helping her out, “are you ready for your own hot laps experience?” he told her, her eyes widened.

“are we allowed?” she whispered, he bumped his helmet against hers. they were both wearing the same design, the same as his racing helmet.

“who cares?” he asked. she smiled at him, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing to where max was sitting before. they buckled their seatbelts, twin mischievous grins on their faces as they watch the confused stares from people outside. photographers, people from media outlets, the red bull marketing team. “ready?”

“let’s go, quicksilver,” she smiled, she hadn’t called him that in a few weeks. her back was flat against the seat, she bit her lip as she tried to contain an excited squeal.

“don’t hold back, schatje, let it out,” he said, looking at her from the corner of his eye. she shook her head slightly, and max chuckled, going even faster. and this time, she did let out a loud laugh.

“you’re going too fast!”

“you want me to slow down?” he asked between his own chuckles.

“no!” she continued laughing. “i trust you,”

-

august 14th, 2021.

she furrowed her eyebrows as she locked her phone, tossing it inside her bag. she hadn’t received a text from max since the day before, and she was starting to worry. everytime they were apart for more than two weeks, she thought back to what he said the day after they met, about distance only screwing things up.

they hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. after the first weekend in austria she had to fly back to atlanta to film a movie. her first marvel movie. max had been so excited when he found out that they’d added her character at the last minute, changing the original script to feature her. 

june 30th, 2021.

“i have to leave tomorrow,” she said, and his face fell. “i’m sorry, i know i promised to be here for the two races here, but i-”

“it’s okay, you can’t turn this down, i understand.” he gave her a small smile, but he barely lifted the corners of his lips. 

“i feel bad,” she pouted, and max wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“don’t. this is something that we have to celebrate,” he pushed aside his feelings, he had to be a good best friend for her, just like she’d done many times for him. “we should go out," he said.

"out, where?" she asked.

"to party, you're going to be in your first major film. i can call some of the guys and tell them to meet us in a club or something," max pulled out his phone, he started scrolling through his contacts, she placed her hands on his.

"i don't need anyone else," she said, "i will have as much fun just with you then with a hundred people. i don't care how many celebrities, fans, or people in general are there to celebrate my accomplishments if you're not there."

the next morning, she woke up with a pounding headache and an arm around her waist. a strong chest was rising up and down, pressed against her back. she tried to turn around, but stopped once she felt someone breathing on her neck. she looked down, recognizing the hand that was holding her back.

she wanted to smile, to voice out the feelings inside her chest as she saw max cuddling her in his sleep. instead, she swallowed, pushing the feelings aside. carefully, he removed his arm from her, replacing her body with a pillow that he could hold on to. she checked the time, it was still early. once she heard max snoring lightly again, she stepped in the shower of her hotel room, she didn’t wash her hair to save time. she changed into sweats and a hoodie. she would’ve picked one of his hoodies, but he usually didn’t wear them. instead, she picked up one of his caps, adjusting the strap in the back and putting it on.

max woke up to an empty bedroom about two hours later, a text waiting for him.

‘had to run! thank you for last night, i had so much fun. good luck on your race, quicksilver!’

-

she landed in atlanta about 18 hours later, after a layover in london. she was exhausted, the entire flight she could only think about max. about the way they danced like no one was watching them, as if they were the only people in the world. she thought about the way he stared at every guy who even thought about looking her way, sending them a death stare that kept them away. she thanked him by brushing his hair away from his face, placing her hand on his cheek and rubbing it softly.

she arrived in her hotel, seeing her agent waiting for her there.

“i’ve been trying to call you,” was the first thing he said. she frowned.

“my phone died on my way here,” she pulled out her phone, seeing the black screen, “why? what happened?” she asked. her agent shook his head, handing her a black card.

“here’s your room key, 20th floor, room 33. get some rest, rehearsals start tomorrow. and please, don’t stay awake too late, the walls here are thin,” he said before walking away. now she was really confused. she stepped in the elevator, pushing the button for the 20th floor. after the doors opened, she looked for the door with the number 33 on it. she sighed, thinking about max again.

she didn’t expect to find the lights of her hotel room on. and she didn’t expect to hear someone talking.

“i know. i will be there in time, i promise.” she must’ve been hallucinating. he couldn’t- “yes, christian, i know. i will be in the car by the time fp1 comes around, that’s the only thing that matters,”

“max?” she asked, eyes wide.

“i have to go.” he hung up, cutting his boss off mid-sentence.

“wh-what are you doing here?” she asked. she still couldn’t believe he was there.

“you left. and you didn’t say goodbye,” he answered, walking to her. “so i came here,”

“ho-how did you even get here faster than me?” she furrowed her eyebrows once he was standing in front of her.

“private jet. which, you could’ve used if you had woken me up instead of leaving like that,”

“i-i had to leave,” she answered. 

“but why did you leave like that? are you mad at me? did i do something?”

“no, no. i just… i don’t know, i didn’t want to bother-”

“you never bother me. you’re my best friend, sure, you’re annoying sometimes, but you could never bother me,”

she smiled, a real smile. her eyes scanned his face, seeing nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“you flew to the other side of the world just to say goodbye,” she pointed out, taking a step toward him.

“i had to get my cap back,” he said, she could see his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. she didn’t buy his words.

 “how many girls have you done that for?” she lifted an eyebrow, leaning her weight on one leg.

“none. only you,” he replied without missing a beat. “you should know by now, there are things i can do only for you.”

“lucky me,” she smiled. and this time, she couldn’t ignore the feeling in her stomach, that was now traveling to her chest as well.

she thought about the last time she saw max. when he flew across the globe just to see her and wish her good luck on her new project. she bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold back a grin. she really wanted to see him again. but he was on holidays, and with his tight, hectic schedule, he had to take every opportunity he was given to rest and focus on the next half of his season.

his last race before summer break was not one he wanted to remember. she wanted to be there for him, but her schedule just didn’t allow it. she was afraid that max’s thoughts about distance were coming true.

she heard a knock on the door of her trailer. her fifteen minutes were up. she adjusted her costume, getting ready to shoot the next few scenes. she walked a few meters to set, seeing the blue and green screens where the locations would be added later. she watched in silence as two of her co-stars were wrapping up a scene. she walked to where her designated chair, was, but found someone sitting on it.

“hey, i think you have the wrong chair,” she whispered, tapping the person on the shoulder. “max!” she whisper-yelled, aware that she couldn’t be too loud or the mics would catch her words. “what are you doing here?! you didn’t answer my texts and- and you’re supposed to be in croatia!” she said, taking his hand and leading him to the back, where they could talk freely without the chances of their conversation ruining the shot.

“i missed you. and i had this week off, so, i flew here,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“god, i missed you too. come here,” she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands went to her waist, pulling her close, being careful with her costume. “i can’t believe you’ve surprised me here twice,” she laughed, burying her face in his chest, she inhaled, the scent of his cologne registering again, she’d almost forgotten what it smelled like.

“and i’ll do it more and more if it means seeing that happy look on your face,” he tapped her nose, making her giggle softly. “look at you, quicksilver, you clean up nicely.”

“thank you, thank you,” she twirled, allowing him to see the whole outfit. 

“i brought my cap but i think everyone will kill me if i ruin your look,” they both laughed.

“you’re just in time to see one of my big scenes! come on, let me introduce you to everyone,” she grabbed his hand, dragging him as she led him to the set, where they were setting everything up for the next scene. “how did you even get in here?” she asked, lacing her fingers between his.

“mark,” he answered. of course, her agent.

“oh! did i ever tell you that he thought we were dating?” she said, and max’s heart skipped a bit.

“wh-what?” he asked. she smiled, nodding.

“yeah, remember when you first came here? he told me to watch out for the thin walls of the room, his room was next to mine, and he thought we would… you know,” she felt her cheeks blushing as she thought about what everyone else must think when they see her and max together. 

“oh,” max said, swallowing nothing again.

she had to bite her tongue to avoid saying something else, he clearly was uncomfortable with the idea of them being together. it was clear.

december 4th, 2021.

her nails were long gone. she had a lump in her throat each time she watched max approach a corner, which in this track, was almost every second. the second she saw the track layout, she knew that this wasn’t a safe circuit. she’d tried to voice this thoughts to max, but he shrugged and just said that there was nothing he could do about it.

“i’m not asking you to rebuild the circuit, i’m asking you to be careful.” she snapped at him. they were in the garage, he was about to go out for the qualifying session, and the crash from earlier had left her a little shaken up.

“i will be fine, why are you worrying? you’re never like this,” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“just… be careful, okay? the real work is tomorrow. don’t push the car too hard,”

“that’s exactly what i have to do,” he answered, putting on his white balaclava. “that’s how quali works,”

“on a different track, one that you know, maybe. not here. the position you start in won’t matter if you don’t even start.”

he wanted to ask her why she was telling him this, but was ushered to the car as lights were about to go green.

it was hard watching him be so pissed at himself. she hated being right about this. but she knew max, she knew that he could be impulsive, letting his instincts get the best of him. she had a feeling he would push to the limit to get that pole position. instead, he couldn’t even finish what could’ve otherwise been one of the greatest qualifying laps in history. 

it took a while before she could actually see him after the session. everyone could see that he was bitter about his failed lap. she was waiting for him in his driver’s room, her leg bouncing up and down as she thought about a good speech to tell him.

the door opening startled her. max’s hair was still sweaty, his fireproof clinging to his skin. he started removing it, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

“are you happy?” he said. she frowned, looking up.

“what?”

“your little speech, you got in my head and i didn’t perform my best,” his words were short, stern.

“you’re saying it’s my fault? max, i literally warned you, i was looking after you,” she stood up, walking to him.

“get out,” he said.

“what?” she asked, her heart pounding. she tried to meet his eyes, but he refused to look at her.

“get out, i- i don’t want to see you right now.”

“max, what’s going on with you? are you listening to yourself?”

“yes, i know what i am saying. i don’t want you here. not tomorrow, or next week.”

she gasped, the air stuck in her throat.

“you’re just a distraction,” he finished. he turned his back to her, placing his hands on the massage table. for once, she was glad he couldn’t see her, or the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. she grabbed her bag, knowing it was useless to try and reason with him when he was like this. “i need my cap back,” he told her. she took a deep breath, removing the hat from her head and throwing it on the floor.

“this isn’t you,” she said as she opened the door, closing it behind her as she saw him turning around.

december 5th, 2021.

she was in her hotel room, watching the race happening only a few kilometers away. she wanted to be there, she wanted to be the first person max saw as he stepped out of the car, but she didn’t know how he was feeling. 

of course she was feeling hurt, but deep down, she knew that he didn’t mean his words from yesterday, she knew those weren’t his words. she had experienced a plethora of different max moods during race weekends, but this was different. he had never been this close to winning a championship even with one race to go. every other race looked like child’s play compared to this. the pression was on him, by his team, by himself, and by his family.

she’d tried many times to convince him that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t get it that year, but he would always say that ‘this was his year’.

it was horrible not being able to be in the paddock. she hadn’t been able to sleep all night, and she’d spent the entire day locked in her hotel room, watching through her window as the track began filling with fans, she could hear the rumble of the engines, the roar from the crowds. she didn’t have any nails left, so she grabbed a red bull cap she found amongst her stuff and started playing with the velcro strap to deal with her nerves and anxiety. she knew it probably wouldn’t work afterward, but it was everything she could do.

seeing him standing on the podium, faking a smile, knowing that he didn’t have anyone to hear him out, hear his real thoughts, the ones only she had the privilege to hear, broke her heart. the next race would be great for the fans, but it would take a great toll on max’s mind.

she saw his face on the tv, she could see the dark circles under his eyes, the exhausted look on his face. she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him, make him hide his face in the crook of her neck, and whisper that everything would be okay. that she was proud of him no matter what, that she loved him more than anything else in the world.

instead, she fell asleep on a cold bed, with no one by her side.

december 12th, 2021.

it was like being in monaco all over again. she had nowhere to go. she knew that if she stepped in the red bull hospitality or garage they wouldn’t kick her out, but she also knew that max didn’t want to see her. it was two hours until lights out, and the drivers were doing their usual ‘class of 2021’ picture before stepping onto a bus to take a few laps around the track for the drivers’ parade. 

this time, she was on top of the garages, she could see the pitlane from her spot. she heard the mercedes drivers being interviewed, could see what the cameras were recording on one of the screens stuck to the wall. the drivers as well, they could see the same broadcast.

it was now max’s turn to be interviewed, he smiled as he waved at the fans, he was distracted by the sudden cheer from the crowd.

“she’s back,” he heard from behind him, pausing his answer to look at the big screens. he gasped, clearing his throat to pretend that everything was alright. the rest of the drivers had gotten used to seeing her around, it was weird for everyone when they saw her on friday and saturday, but missed the race.

she frowned as he heard max stumbling on his words, the small truck was passing by the main straight, below from where she was. she was standing up, her hands against the concrete wall that reached up to her waist. she turned her head to one of the screens. it was like a chain, she saw max looking at her in one of the screens. the delay made it obvious to everyone that she was the reason he reacted that way.

she had to get out of there. she turned around just as the truck was stopping, the drivers rushing out of there in a hurry. she squeezed past other celebrities, trying to make herself as small as she could to go by unnoticed. she tried to hide her face behind the cap she was wearing. the only one she could find was a generic red bull cap, it didn’t feel like the one she was used to wear. his. max’s.

she made her way down the stairs, walking the opposite way from the rest of the crowd. she kept her head down, but had to look up when suddenly everyone was moving out of her way, making a free path for her. 

max was walking toward her, people were actively stepping aside to let him through. she turned back around and started walking away, but stopped when she felt a hand grabbing her arm. she tried yanking her arm away from his grip.

“stop, stop. you’re going to hurt yourself,” he said.

“then just let me go,” she replied.

“come here,” he started guiding her to the red bull hospitality.

“max,”

“i just want to talk. please,”

“are you sure i’m not just a distraction? you should probably be getting ready for the race, i wouldn’t want to be the reason you lose the championship.” it hurt to say those words, her heart broke at the sight of visible pain on his face.

“i- i didn’t mean that. just, please, come with me.” he pleaded.

“you have ten minutes,” she said. he dropped his hand down to grab hers, lacing his fingers with hers so they wouldn’t get separated by the crowd of people in the paddock. thankfully, the hospitality was nearly empty, everyone was in too much of a frenzy out in the garage to really pay attention to what was going on back there. once they were in the privacy of his driver’s room, max immediately wrapped his arms around her entire frame, holding her close to his chest. her arms stayed by her sides, even though her hands were practically aching to hug him.

“i’m so sorry for what i said last week. i didn’t mean any of that. you were right, it wasn’t me.” he said. “i was… i let my dad, and horner, and marko get in my head. but it’s not true. you’re not a distraction, since that weekend in monaco you’re one of the reasons i do this. the best part of every race, no matter where i end up, is stepping out of the car and seeing you waiting for me. your presence, your… friendship,” he took a deep breath as he said that word, “means more to me than any championship, any trophy. in truth, the biggest accomplishment of my year is having you by my side.” he spoke fast, it didn’t sound rehearsed, he voiced every thought that came to his head. “last week in jeddah, and this whole week, i’ve not been myself. i can’t be myself without you.”

“this week has been hell,” she said.

“i am so sorry for putting you through that, i promise i-” she placed a hand on his chest, he paused.

“seeing you, without focus, your mind somewhere else, trying to prove to everyone that you’re worthy when you’ve already done that hundreds of times before, that was hell. max, you’re human, you’re allowed to have emotions, to have good days or bad days, you’re not a machine. you’re not programmed to win, no matter how many races you take part in, how many trophies you have. that’s the thing about life, every day is a new chance to do what you want to, your life will not end if you don’t win a race, or a championship. you have more chances.”

“i know.” he whispered. “but this is what i’ve been working for my entire life.”

“but is your life going to end if you don’t win? no. if you keep acting like you did last week, if you let toxic people manipulate you, turn you into something you’re not, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll push everyone away.” she could feel his hands tightening their grip on her waist at the thought of her leaving again. “i’m here to stay.”

“you’re all i need.” he pressed his forehead against hers, her eyes flew down to his lips. he noticed. he leaned closer, his nose brushing against hers.

“max,” she said, “we’re friends. best friends,”

“of course,” he leaned back a little. “the best friend i could ask for,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“i love you,” she said. “as a friend,” her voice was shaky.

“of course. i love you as a friend, too,”

“good. now, we have a championship to win,” she patted his chest twice, making him smile.

“what happened to the speech you just-”

“the fact that you have many other chances doesn’t mean you won’t fight your hardest to win this one,” she reminded him.

“come down with me? the garage feels empty without you.” he told her. she nodded.

“of course, i missed the thrill and the noise, watching on tv is just not the same,”

“i’m sorry,” he said, she shook her head.

“don’t apologize. i’m here now, we’re here now. let’s go, they must be looking for you. i’m sure horner will kill me once he sees us walking in.”

“i’ll fight him,” max said, walking to a desk, he opened a drawer and pulled out a cap. her cap, he always made sure it was the same one. the one with his name written inside with a sharpie. he took off the cap she was wearing, placing it on the desk before putting her cap on. “there,”

“much better,” she smiled.

december 13th, 2021.

she was wearing a black shirt with a design in white and gold, stating that max was the world champion. she was tossing and turning on her hotel bed, still buzzing with adrenaline from the previous celebrations. she hadn’t drunk that much in a long time, but it was the perfect occasion to party as much as she wanted to.

max was finally a world champion.

she smiled everytime she thought about it, she got teary eyed when she replayed the moment he stepped out of the car and ran straight to her hugging the life out of her as he thanked her for everything she’d done for him.

she loved him. perhaps, she loved him from the moment he ran into him that weekend in monaco. but she couldn’t risk it. one week without him had been hell, if her feelings were one sided and things ended badly, she didn’t know if she could survive without him in her life.

she groaned, kicking the covers off with her legs. she sat up, grabbing her phone and scrolling through the pictures and videos she’d taken that night. max and her pouring each other shots, seeing who could drink them faster. her licking the salt from his neck, taking the lime from his lips. him doing the same, the feeling of her tongue against her throat was one she would never forget. her stomach turned, knowing that it was only because they were drunk. 

being in love with your best friend sucks.

‘i love you like a best friend’ she thought back to her own words. coward.

she heard a knock on her door, it startled her at first, she checked the time. 4:38am. the person knocked again, she got out of bed and walked to the door, seeing a familiar head of dirty blonde hair on the other side.

“max, what’s-”

“i love you,” he blurted out. “i love you, and… not like a best friend. i don’t want you like a best friend, i want more,”

her breath got stuck in her throat, she couldn’t speak.

“i’ve had this feeling in my hands, since i let go of your hands when i was putting on my gloves, they haven’t stopped shaking, it’s like i can’t control them and…”

he lifted his hands, and she could see what he meant, slowly, she placed her hands in his. lacing her fingers with his, and the shaking stopped.

they didn’t speak anymore, they let their actions speak for them. she took a step closer, he leaned his head down. she stood on her tipoes, he closed his eyes. her eyes shut on their own accord, he parted his lips. they kissed, and it was like the piece that had been missing was finally found. two halves made a whole, two hearts became one, a friendship turned into something more.

may 2nd, 2022.

she walked the red carpet with max by her side. to everyone else, they were still just friends, although on evey interview they were asked the same question, they both always answered the same.

‘she/he’s my best friend.’

which, technically, wasn’t a lie.

she was extremely nervous that day, people were asking her what she was doing there, since her part was a complete secret. 

she was doing an interview with two of her co-stars, xochitl and benedict wong, she had to pretend it was her first time meeting them, since they didn’t appear on her show. max was standing by the side, watching her.

“i don’t know, they invited me and we were already here for the grand prix so we came,” she said. max noticed how she only lifted one corner of her lips to smile, a sign that she was nervous, she was about to slip.

“so, do you know what the future of your character is? we were left in a cliffhanger after the end of the show, are there any plans for future projects?”

“umm, i- i’m not sure, i-” she didn’t know what else to say, she looked to her castmates, silently begging for help, but they were unaware of her inside struggles. she hadn’t had that much preparation on this type of interviews, and she didn’t want to screw this up.

“can i just say something?” max said, popping his head and walking into frame before anyone could complain, “i personally don’t know what the future of her character is, but i just think that she’s an amazing actress who did an incredible job on that show, and both she and the character deserve to be part of this cinematic world. plus, look at her, she could act as a rock and it would still be oscar-worthy,” he finished. and she let out a shaky breath as he felt his hand on her back. 

“aw, you two are just the sweetest. are you sure there’s no sparks flying around between you? you just seem like you’re meant to be,” the interviewer said.

“the only sparks are the ones from my race car when i go over the curbs,” they both laughed, catching the interviewer a bit off guard.

once they were inside, she started breathing quickly.

“fuck, i think i screwed up. someone’s definitely going to notice,” she said, her fingers playing with the fabric of her dress. “fuck, i’m so fired, they’re never going to call me back, and-”

“hey, hey, stop. don’t say that,” max said, grabbing her hand. “no one will notice, and they won’t care. in my opinion, you should’ve just told the truth, show off your incredible work here, show them how much you deserve to be here,”

her chest was still rising up and down uncontrollably, and max wanted to kiss her lips, show her how much he loved her, that everything would be okay. but, they were still in public. so, he settled for a kiss on the cheek and a few words in her ear.

“i love you,” he whispered, “with all my being, in this life, all my past ones and those still to come. i love you, and i’m so proud of you,” he said before leaning back. “you will be fine, okay?”

“okay,” she repeated, he was holding her hand, with his thumb on top of the vein, he could feel her heartbeat slowing down to normal.

may 8th, 2022.

her eyes switched from one screen to the other, max had an amazing start on the race, making up one place on the opening lap. he’d been nervous that morning, having had limited time to understand and learn this new track. but his desire to win was there. it wasn’t too long until he reached the race leader, making brave, precise decisions at the right moment to maximize his winning opportunities. 

the safety car, as always, shook up the race a little, with the top four being closer than ever. but max was able to keep the lead, the issues he noticed in the car were quickly fixed with gp’s help, he knew to stay calm when necessary.

she had her cap on, even though the heat was unforgiving, she had to wear his cap. and she was tapping her nails against the desk area in front of her, under all the screens. she was incredibly proud of max, he had shown so much growth since the end of last season. of course, like everyone else, he still had some moments when the frustration often took the best of him, but he knew to take it easy, to let things go the way they’re supposed to.

long gone was her fear of walking alongside max’s mechanics and engineers, now she was just one of them. she was always given the spot closest to max. she was always the first person he hugged. she had the brightest smile on her face, this week had started good for her, and even though the weekend was tough for max, he managed to come out on top. 

max stepped out of the car, her loud cheers mixed in with the rest of the crowd. she clapped for him, a huge smile on her face as he stepped toward her. but, he went to his crew first. they pampered him in congratulations, as max took off his helmet. he shook hands and bumped fists with all of them, taking his sweet time to make his way to her. she had a small frown on her face, maybe he hadn’t seen her and that’s why we went with the others first.

no, he noticed her. finally, he made his way to her, placing his helmet on the floor and wrapping his arms around her waist, making her stand on her tiptoes.

“max,”

“i love you,” he said, leaning his head down and pressing his lips on hers. the crowd erupted in even louder cheers, she was shocked at first, but it only took her a second to melt into his touch.

“good race, champ. a little warning would’ve been nice,” she told him as he hugged her again, burying his face against her neck. one of her hands went to his hair. she loved his post-race hair. 

“come to the podium with me,” he said, she nodded. she would’ve agreed to anything at that moment.

as max was ushered to do post-race interviews, he tried his hardest to concentrate on the words leaving his lips, but he could only focus on her. she was glowing, shining brighter than the miami sun.

“yeah, my girlfriend and i have this inside joke, we pass each other the quicksilver powers, and she had them earlier this week, and now she gave them to me. i guess you could say that helped me win today,” max chuckled, her cheeks were hotter than the sun. as soon as he finished, he walked back to her, the red bull crew helped her get through the barrier. the red bull media team were already waiting for them in a car that would take them to the podium on the other side of the track, since there was no space left, max sat first, patting his lap.

“your carriage awaits, quicksilver,” he joked, she rolled her eyes as she sat on his lap, feeling his hand on her thigh. he pressed a kiss to her cheek, she turned her head, her lips touching his again.

“i think we broke the internet this week,” she laughed.

“what a great end to a great week,” max kissed her again. she sighed against his lips, she would never get tired of his kiss. 

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