#just not as vulnerable as society makes them out to be. and it becomes the standard of behavior and treatment for women of all races

[string-cheese-cake]

Nobody asked but white supremacy is the reason why white women are obsessed with true crime.

So when chattel slavery was becoming cemented in the United States and other European areas, the idea of biological race and racial hierarchy emerged to justify the generational enslavement of Africans and the genocide of indigenous people. Africans and other non-whites were labeled as less developed, more susceptible to their "primal urges" and committing sex crimes and therefore needed to be controlled by white men. Specifically to protect white women.

White supremacy is typically framed as necessary to 'protect' (read: control) white women, the mothers of the next generation of whites. They must be protected from "sexually voracious black men" (read: miscegenation and mixed race children). So white supremacy operates on the myth that white women are constantly under threat of sexual violence and must be protected by white men.

That myth becomes baked into the public consciousness, many unaware of the origin or even that the idea is there. It even becomes less racially based, but there is still a common belief that white women are inherently vulnerable to violent crime. Especially among white women. To be fair, it's difficult to not internalize an idea that you are not exactly aware of but is still seeped in every interaction and bit of advice. Don't wander off, don't talk to strangers, don't go out alone or late at night, cover your body, hold your keys between your fingers, take self defense, watch your drink, don't be under the influence. Your body is soft and valuable and delicate and you must protect it.

This idea of vulnerability is reinforced in the news media, which chooses to focus on stories which fit this particular narrative of white women's vulnerability. Missing white women syndrome. This subconscious belief has saturated society. White women develop an outsized fear of death by violent crime. So what do they do? They embrace it. They eat up stories of families like theirs and the deaths of women like them.

It's been suggested that experiencing that fear of violence in the controlled environment true crime provides can be cathartic, somewhat like watching a horror film. There is also a sense of justice and closure felt when the perpetrator of that crime is punished.

In conclusion; White women love true crime because it's a coping mechanism for their deeply embedded fear of violence which was established and is upheld by white supremacy.

#statistically white women are the least likely to be victims of violent crime. they can be and all victims need support but white women are #just not as vulnerable as society makes them out to be. and it becomes the standard of behavior and treatment for women of all races #women don't need control and protection they need empowerment and for men to treat them like goddamn human beings. #i kno im using binary language but u tell me how to better word this. the binary is fake tho. all the little stranger danger things got to #me. walk away from the street don't walk too close to unknown men I'm not afraid of my community!!! no one should be!!!! #we should not fear each other. i understand that violence and assault are real things that happen to people all the time but it's much more #likely to happen to men and women of color. they deserve love and support and real effective change. and white women shouldn't have to #be afraid and feel vulnerable. we need legitimate efforts to address and prevent random violence #not fearmongering and the offloading of responsibility onto potential victims. anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk #why am i talking #maybe I'll use this one day #i wrote this at 2am don't @me. i am right tho. i also like me some ethically filmed #true crime content. it needs to be tasteful though. and people need to be normal about it.

[occultwaters]

Astro Observations I

💜 Earth sun + water moon = masked vulnerability. I’m especially looking at you Capricorn sun and Scorpio moon.

💙 Virgo Venus aesthetic is either soft or the complete opposite.

💜Leo placements really don’t have to try for attention. Especially big 3. They really stick out!

💙Ya’ll think cancer mars have explosive anger, have you met Saturn ruled Mars? Capricorn and Aquarius Mars anger can be extremely explosive.

💜Quincunx aspects (inconjunctions) in astrology need to be talked about more.

💙Lilith in the 12th house in the ascendent sign will always unconsciously embody Lilith energy until they realise and learn to work with it.

💜Mars + Jupiter conjunction = sporty children. These people can also easily become argumentative.

💙Need tips on how to style your outfit? Bag a Taurus/Libra venus.

💜Neptunians are so ethereal like please. Especially when Neptunes makes aspect to the ascendent.

💙Water dominants 🤝 clinical daydreaming + zoning out mid sentence.

💜Having water and earth placements is very good if you want to get involved in the arts. Water provides the imagination and earth the drive to bring it into reality.

💙You can really spot a scorpio from a mile away. The aura and the eyes.

💜Moon in 5th house can indicate unplanned pregnancy so be careful.

💙Saturn in 2nd house. Money and self worth are such big lessons for you. How often do you feel like your possessions are either limited or being controlled?

💜Pluto in 10th house are always judged by society regardless of what they do, so they just stopped caring. They’re always caught up in some scandal.

💙Another note about Pluto in 10th, usually the way they blow up is through Plutonian things. Such as occult practitioners, even serial killers etc. These roles bring in the most recognition and attention for them.

© 2024 occultwaters. All rights reserved.

💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜

#astro notes #astrology #astroblr #astro community #astro observations #astro chart #astro content #free astrology reading #occultwaters #the high priestess #astrology observations #astrology notes #water signs #earth signs #cancer #capricorn #virgo venus #taurus #libra venus #taurus venus #leo placements #aquarius mars #capricorn mars #cancer mars #lilith in the houses #Saturn in 2nd house #libra #scorpio placements #neptune #moon aspects

[bigfatbimbo]

saw ur post ab the vees and i wasn't sure if u wanted nsfw rambles or sfw rambles so like... i'll send the sfw rambles in a separate ask 😭

anywaysss im thinking ab putting them all in their place.... maybe they're all arguing over you or being pissy to eachother in general so you punish them all- seperately ofc, u cant have them getting off in eachothers pleasure bc ik damn well they'd be into watching you fuck someone else especially another one of the vees

i am always willing to rant about the vees🙏🙏🙏

summary — The Vees being humbled by the reader in the form of loose, unprofessional headcanons and vague thoughts.

warnings — dom reader, sub… everyone else, very messy, not proofread, read at the risk of incoherence

a/n — I HATE THEM SO MUCH!! THEY’RE THE WORST!! Let’s as a society fuck them to tears.

So, unpopular opinion, I’ve see a few ideas of being the vees collective lay or ‘plaything’ fucktoy, and the idea is so much more fun with a dom reader.

And i’m saying that objectively too, like not just as a dom reader blog. Because these are three people who make up the worst aspects of society, and lowkey are basically just manipulation tactics personified. Propaganda the trio!

Looking at these cocky assholes, who are the embodiment of what is considered terrible people, and who all have unmatched mathematically impossibly high egos, would it just be so fun to fuck the pride out of them?

Especially, for example, let’s say you’re around a lot and you’ve become a trusted person a good fuck for the Vees. They all have terrible attention seeking tendencies, so it would be safe to assume they’d be all over you.

Vox would be trying to talk to you about whatever particular subject he thinks is most interesting (about himself) to capture your attention, while Velvette would be close to you as well, flicking her phone your direction to show you something she finds funny or hot, but mainly as a subtle power-play to get your attention off Vox and onto her.

Valentino would be much less subtle, of course, by nature. He’d be all up around you, touching you, running his hands along your shoulder blades as he walks past, and probably the type to ‘drop something’ and bend over to flash you his fishnets and panties.

Needless to say, they’re all pissing each other off immensely. Obviously, being short tempered people, this leads to an argument because Velvette was ‘talking to you first’ but Vox had ‘actually important things to say’ and according to Valentino ‘the two of you were boring them out of their minds’ and he had to ‘spice your day up.’

Unfortunately for the Vees, you don’t do your one ‘job.’ Your attention isn’t given to any one of them. Yet. You just simply sit on the couch, scrolling through your phone and flicking through channels. Maybe you even actually leave the tower and go eat out or something.

Of course, until later when you pick them off one by one. And no matter who you decide to fuck senseless first, they will be so obviously loud just to be petty because, after all, you did choose them first. Like they would be being obnoxiously vocal about how ‘full they are’ or how ‘you’re going so fast!’ or some other fake shit like that. It’s honestly a whole show. Now, I feel like fucking all of them at the same time is kind of inevitable, because they’re all deprived horny freaks on the lowkey. (Except for Val it’s very highkey.) But I think there would be little mannerisms that appear on one on one sessions that they would NEVER show during a foursome. For example, Vox’s certain… titles he uses. mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink. Because he would literally die before calling you mommy or daddy in front of Velvette or Val. It’s okay when it’s just you because it’d be easier to be vulnerable around someone he trusts to set his dominance fully aside for.

And like, yeah, the other Vees know he gets fucked just like the rest of them, but it’s simpler for him to keep his illusion of dominance and respect out side of the bedroom, if the more shamefully submissive aspects of himself stayed hidden.

Also, I think Valentinos would have an easier time actually giving into to subbing during one on one sessions. Like yes, he does sub when it’s with you all the time. That’s the point of the fic.

But he’s less of a power bottom, and his flirtatious, incredibly disgusting remarks subside much faster into whimpers and whining.

Because, although less professional than Vox, he does still have an image. And when it’s just you fucking him, his vile horny comments disappear into whines for your attention in no time. Well actually a lot of time, but the point is that they actually do. And similar to Valentinos, Velvette’s confidence when bottoming alone with you is increasingly less apparent. Yea, she’s still bossy and definitely a power bottom, but there’s more of a recognition that she isn’t in charge. Honestly, she’s such a princess I think she’d actually have a very hard time going into subspace, even when alone. Because degradation just pisses her off. Why aren’t you worshipping her like you should be? But then it’s, what the fuck, why aren’t you worshiping her like you should be?? It makes her brat out even harder, which she does show in front of the other Vees, until she’s actually just needy to be pleased and given pleasure, making her twice as whiny. That aspect she does not show in front of the vees. But let’s talk about group sex with the Vees. Probably only used as a severe punishment, or a surprisingly giving reward. I have a very particular scene for the severe punishment aspect, however. So they’ve all been bad, but let’s say, for the sake of specifics to set the scene, Val has been worse. It is still a punishment for Vox and Velvette, but punishing them all to the same extent when Val has misbehaved clearly more would be wrong, would it not? They’re all greedy, selfish assholes, so you’ve concocted the perfect form of torture for your useless brats; they don’t receive anything until they’re good. Especially Val. Velvette has a strap on, so she can’t even feel anything but minor friction when you slide your worked open ass onto the plastic dick and open your legs, exposing your empty pussy to none other than Vox. He eats you out reluctantly, while rutting into the mattress as fast as he could, all while you cockwarm (and sometimes roll your hips to press the strap against her pussy uncomfortably) Velvette. Oh, and where’s Valentino? Tied up in a chair in front of the bed, getting a perfect shot while being totally naked and hard. You have a gag in his mouth too, because otherwise he’d be complaining the whole time. Because that’s just not fair, is it? He does this all day for a living. Seriously, he watches people fuck all day. It was his turn to feel something! And you would only have punished him more if he’d done something about this at work today. (Yikes..) I mean, this sounds like complete and utter bullshit. A lose-lose situation! But, it actually is completely fair. And as you’re receiving all the pleasure, from Velvettes feelingless, fake dick, Vox’s tongue while he humps the bed pathetically, and Val’s whines in complaint, you know the punishment is working. You’ve bothered them behind belief, you’ve hit a spot you knew would leave a message. Because none of the attention is on our poor little trio at all. These naturally selfish, greedy people, have to finally give. And god, they’re becoming more desperate for your attention and praise by the second.

a/n — We all know I love sub Vox. But this opened by eyes to how much I love sub Velvette and Valentino. REQUEST THEM ALL MORE.

Also, Rose, I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU FOR A FIRE ASF PROMPT.

if this flops im throwing myself out of a window btw

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #inbox open #hazbin hotel smut #dom reader #vox x reader #valentino x reader #velvette x reader #vox smut #valentino smut #velvette smut #sub vox #sub velvette #sub valentino #vox x you #velvette x you #valentino x you #the vees x reader

[ambros1an]

hsr x gn!reader relationship hcs

warnings: penacony spoilers (2.0+), bug mention (screwllum), angsty (aventurine & acheron), ocd mention (sunday), slight dark content (ie stalking) at end in Sundays but it’s marked in red to avoid if uncomfy

characters: sunday, screwllum, acheron, aventurine

a/n: i feel like it’s so obvious i did like 2 of these a week later 💀 i need more Sunday content in game

sunday

❧ if you manage to get past Sunday’s formal exterior, what lies behind it is a complete “know-it-all.”

❧let him nerd out about the greatest books in the current and past amber eras. he’ll make sure to tell you all about the authors too.

❧if the two of you have liking books in common, congrats! he’ll bring you on a tour to the primal waking library where you can chat all about it.

❧sunday’s compulsions become even worse with you around. is his shirt properly tucked in? he hopes there’s no wrinkles, maybe he should iron all his shirts again. oh gosh-are his shoes untied? you don’t even notice this. he’s used to hiding his true feelings.

❧he definitely confesses first. he’s aware that his status can be a hindrance when forming genuine relationships.

❧ maybe afterwards he’ll let you touch his wings. he loves the feeling of you stroking his feathers. especially when those annoying pin feathers grow in. the biggest sign of trust amongst birds- and sunday of course.

❧ and obviously you always get free vip to robin’s shows.

❧before and after the “Robin incident” are two very different Sundays.

❧the after, is a very possessive Sunday. he can’t have you become like Robin. he uses nightingales to keep watch on you, to make sure you’re safe. he knows it’s unhealthy but he just lost his sister, he can’t lose you too.

-

Aventurine

❧aventurine’s flirty facade fools most people. they think he’s sleazy and untrustworthy, and so do you in the beginning.

❧at first he talks to you because he thinks your reactions are amusing.

❧eventually your relationship gets too deep for comfort.

❧this guy will never open up. if he has feelings for you, you’ll never know. it’s not because he’s ashamed. it’s because he cannot comprehend someone actually liking him.

❧the only way he’ll confess is if you do it first. and even then he plays it off like a joke, something he can’t even believe. it takes a lot of button pressing to get him to admit his feelings.

❧aventurine is a very vulnerable person. he may rub off insults but they still hurt him deep.

❧the first time you hug him, he is baffled. affection has been foreign to him since the extinction event.

❧worming your way into his heart will get you even more riches then before. sure, he hands out money like nothing, but to you? that credit card is unlimited.

❧”what, that’s all?” he encourages you to spend.

❧brings you to casinos for good luck. not as if he needed any, but with you at least his hand doesn’t shake.

-

screwllum

❧ it isn’t uncommon for inorganic species to feel love. just as it isn’t uncommon for organic species not to.

❧ Screwllum, however, hasn’t experienced that feeling.

❧ he sees the way organic species love in a way he hasn’t. as a genius society member and one interested in life itself, how could he not be interested.

❧ which is why when he starts feeling a fluttering in his chest whenever you’re around, he must get to the bottom of it!

❧ confesses instantly. he has zero experience yet remains so confident.

❧ immediately takes time out of his day to interact with you. in whatever way possible.

❧ it could be the busiest day of his life and he’ll still make time for you.

❧ he’s described as a gentlemen by his close companions. this means opening doors for you, taking you out to places, etc.

❧ sounds too good to be true. but it is true.

❧ his one flaw, if you can even call it that, is his love for all life. and that includes bugs! no smashing them on his watch! he’s picking them up before you even get the chance.

❧ if you like bugs, even better. he’ll gently pick them up and talk about them with you. the two of you can take turns.

-

Acheron

❧ the first time you meet her, you think she’s a polite but introverted lady. she claims to be a galaxy ranger and you have no reason to doubt her.

❧ her blunt way of speaking leaves no room for questions.

❧ that is, until you get too entangled in each other’s destines.

❧ your first meeting with acheron, wasn’t actually your first. you’ve met her many times. every time though she seems not to know you.

❧ Acheron lies to protect you. just as she lied about being a galaxy ranger, she lies that she has no feelings whatsoever towards you.

❧ perhaps you remind her of someone she once knew.

❧ on some days, acheron traverses through her memories to look for you. she sees the hurt look in your eyes, but sees your smiles too. the path of a self-annihilater is a lonely one.

❧ ultimately, if you manage to convince her with words and actions that you truly care for her. she will put forth that effort tenfold. she desperately doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

❧ acheron is very protective towards you. if there’s a hint of danger, she’ll encourage you to take her with you. even going on her own to eliminate it herself.

credit to @/miau-meow-miau for first divider 🫶

#hsr x you #hsr x reader #sunday x reader #sunday x you #aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #acheron x reader #acheron x you #screwllum x reader

[heartlilith]

Astrology Observations (part 4)

Here are some of my observations and opinions on various placements - Part 4

🧿People with Sun opposite ASC can really struggle with their identity. They may not relate to their sun sign and they are always questioning who they really are.

🧿OPINION: Sister signs make great friendships and platonic relationships. Romantically speaking, I feel like the attraction is there but it usually doesn't work out in the long run.

🧿Planets square to Jupiter are "too much" or "in excess" versus Saturn squares are "too little" or "lacking"

💙Sun square Jupiter - Too much confidence and stubbornness, too much generosity

💙Moon square Jupiter - Too much indulgence, emotional changeability, too much self sacrifice

💙Mars square Jupiter - Too much energy, aggressiveness, and restlessness

💙Sun square Saturn - Lacking confidence and assertiveness

💙Moon square Saturn - Lacking trust and vulnerability

💙Mars square Saturn - Lacking stamina and self expression

🧿Mars in the 7th house people can move fast in relationships. When they catch feelings for someone and the relationship is shiny and new (aka the "honeymoon" stage) they can get impatient and rush things like meeting parents and moving in together... this is especially true if your Mars is in Aries, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, and Pisces - this could be less true if your Mars is in Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Capricorn, or Aquarius - Taurus Mars could go either way in my opinion

🧿OPINION: Scorpio Moon and Aries Moon relationships can easily become a disaster

🧿Prominent Scorpio & Capricorn natives are vaults. Your secrets are safe with them.

🧿OPINION: Sometimes I think of people as their Moon sign with a dash of their Sun Sign. For example: I would think of a Sagittarius Sun with a Virgo Moon as an analytical person (Virgo) with a big mouth (Sag) lmfao. Aries Sun with a Capricorn Moon as a hardworker (Cap) with a lot of drive (Aries). A Gemini Sun and Leo Moon as a confident and attention seeking (Leo) intellectual (Gemini). Obviously the qualities of a certain placement are affected by all the placements in a chart but generally I think of the Moon as the core person and the Sun influencing it.

🧿Pluto in the 12th house natives can obsess about life after death

🧿Pluto in the 7th house transforms through relationships and one on one connections but they also transform the other person as well, same goes for Venus in the 8th

🧿Sun and Mars in the 8th house and Pluto in the 1st house are natives that people remember. "Remember so and so, they were so kind and smart. I hope they're doing okay" type of thing.

🧿Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Pisces Venus in the 1st house... aren't you tired? Don't you just wanna scream "FUCK OFF" to people sometimes?

🧿OPINION: Leo and Scorpio prominent people make the best of friends, it's giving Wednesday and Eugene vibes

🧿Sun in the houses shows what you're all about, what's most important and a main focus in your life:

💙Sun in the 2nd house: Stability is the most important thing for you. The ultimate goal is to be comfortable financially and also within yourself.

💙Sun in the 7th house: The goal is to have harmonious relationships. You want a partner to experience things with and strong relationships with close friends.

💙Sun in the 10th house: You're all about your career and accomplishing things. You want to build something that will contribute to society. You want to have authority.

💙Sun in the 12th house: You want to be of service to people, you want to help and make a difference to large groups. Think traveling the world and helping less fortunate people like in the Peace Corps. It could be animals too. You want to be an advocate for unadvocated.

#astrology #astro observations #astrology community #astro #astro community #rising signs #leo #sagittarius #scorpio #cancer #moon signs #Saturn #Jupiter #sun #sun signs #1st house #rising sign

[sugar-grigri]

It's all about the number 2 

Asa and Yoru, Nayuta and Denji, two Chainsaw Man, two camps of worshippers versus detractors, two protagonists, a second part, the two identities of Denji, a high-school student and a hero himself, both demon and human: Chainsaw - Man. 

But before we balance all that, let's take a closer look at this chapter.

First of all, I'd like to say how rich chapter 140 is. I see a lot of people criticizing Fujimoto's writing as someone who simply sets up absurd situations when absolutely nothing is left to chance. We're reading a manga by a film buff, so get your head around Chekov's rifle. 

I'd like to remind you that Chainsaw Man is set in Japanese society. 

Ejecting a sect from a building, or even belonging to a cult that has nothing to do with a dominant, ancestral religion, is more common than in the West. 

I've seen plenty of people wondering who could be at the head of the church for making people believe such a stupid story as a violet-ray weapon that would make adults stupid.

When it's the other way around, the church is exploiting the fact that high-school students are just thinking too much. And if there's one thing that saves Denji, it's that he thinks less. 

Let's put things in context: this is the '90s, and even if the idea of nuclear weapons has been erased by Pochita, meaning that the Cold War has surely taken a different form in Chainsaw Man, Fujimoto has never denied geopolitical tensions. 

Whether it's the mention of the USSR with Reze, Makima's instrumentalization of Japan, the history of weapons, the fact that the American government sought to eliminate Makima or that countries share the remains of the weapon demon...

Countries are in tension. The church exploits this atmosphere of anxiety among teenagers who are beginning to form opinions that dissent from their parents. 

Adolescence means coming into conflict with your parents' ideas, so come up with a story about how a gun makes them stupid. It's simply targeted manipulation that exploits the vulnerabilities of individuals in the midst of an identity crisis. 

Becoming a teenager also means freeing oneself from a certain carefree attitude and better understanding of the world around us, hence the mention of Americans on the same level as adults. 

I'd like to point out that this is not just a collection of absurdities. But for that, a bit of history... I hope I'm not teaching anyone that Japanese society has been turned upside down by the United States.

Without going into too much detail, during the 19th century, Japan went through the Meiji era. The Meiji government pursued a policy of modernization with the ultimate aim of bringing Japan up to the level of the Western powers. 

To compete with Western powers such as the United States, the government relied on centralized power to control citizens as much as possible... and this involved reforming the matrimonial system. With the popularization of "love marriage", the Meiji government changed tactics: the polygamous system was replaced by exclusive "love marriage". 

The church used the same method of control as the Meiji government: reforming the matrimonial system by overturning institutions. From now on, it's no longer sex after marriage, but before it.

It's this kind of talk that just digs into the cracks that allows them to be brainwashed. But talk has never worked with Denji, who thinks concretely with what he can grasp. A date with a pretty girl, steak, sex, feeling the buttocks when he does the chair. What one would point to as perversity is what saves Denji. He thinks through his senses, his literal needs, not the abstract. 

We can't say that Miri, who thinks he's free when he's being instrumentalized, repeating that it's the Americans' fault again, or asking Chainsaw Man if he's sure he hasn't picked up any ultraviolet weapons... that he’s stupid. Because weapons have lost their memory, they have no loved ones, no stories to refer to. 

Miri convinces himself he's free, filling the void of his own forgotten history with false stories. The lack of education, of pillars, of history is what had tortured Denji, who was so easily manipulated. I'd go so far as to say that Reze is the most striking example of this. 

It's impossible to determine Barem's psychology, but he still demonstrates a third reaction to manipulation: while Denji evolves, Miri locks himself in denial : Barem manipulates in return. Revenge, reproductive mechanism, any number of reasons could explain why Barem exploits one of Denji's weaknesses: Asa. 

Now you're thinking, yes, that's all very well, you talk a lot... but what's that got to do with the number two?

The scale is the very image of dichotomy, of a relationship between two forces, two weights, two entities. And what does it have to do with manipulation? Several things.

First of all, manipulation also means taking on ideas that are not our own. It means no longer questioning them, confronting them with dissident ideas that would contradict them, or balancing them. 

To balance is also to confront two options in a dilemma. Something that's come up several times, first initiated by Yoshida, then taken up in his own way by Barem: embrace his identity as Chainsaw Man or continue his normal life as Denji?

The manipulation since the start of Part 2 has been to split up Chainsaw Man. To have separated what constitutes his essence: human and demonic. To have split his nature, which has always been that of two beings in one. 

And what if I told you that the answer lies in chapter 2 (yes, man). Here, Makima clearly explains to Denji that Pochita is not dead but continues to live with him, that he has two smells.

Fami's project is openly to separate Chainsaw Man, to cut its essence in two: the reunion of two beings. 

That's why this chapter talks about marriage, which refers to the reunion of two individuals. 

Barem would have us believe that these two choices are antinomic, that they are contradictory and cannot be fulfilled together. Only Denji can have both choices, he had already answered that. His sign of strength is two fingers. Two is Denji's strength. Becoming two is what literally allowed him to be reborn. 

Of course, Denji doesn't want to marry; he's already one with one being through a contract: Pochita. 

Pochita had merged with him so that he could live a normal life. It was never a normal life, but the life Denji wanted to live. Chainsaw Man is literally the means, a better life, the end. 

The secret to surviving the manipulation then lies literally in Denji's heart. 

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm 140 #my thoughts #denji #yoru #asa #nayuta #makima #miri sugo #barem #reze

[vampire-eros]

i had a discussion with my partner the other night and like

a while ago, i'd say early 2022 i was kind of enlightened to exactly how bad the transmisogyny problem is I did something that some TMEs felt was offensive and… what happened? well. i received 1 ask reprimanding me for it. an UNRELATED TRANS WOMAN who DID NOT DO WHAT I DID, got the backlash for it and would experience regular, pointless, harassment about it.

and i received 1 singular ask about it and kind of sloppily apologized for it and never heard anything about it again in my askbox. while i would watch my mutual become bogged down and dogpiled about it… something I DID.

and i realized. oh. i really get it now. it's so bad that people would rather target a popular trans woman than a (currently) TME nonbinary person over something that the trans woman did not even do. people will literally make up stories to attack trans women. i understand what TME/TMA means, it's not a repackaged discussion of what's in your pants, it's a discussion about how you're treated in society.

and i think some TME people see that trans women/TMAs are rightfully upset and angry about what they've been put through, that trans women will try to clarify that their situation is BAD. it is TRAUMATIZING. it is ACTIVELY DEADLY. it is PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING.

and they will see that and think "well hey!! what about me? i'm not a trans woman, but i'm affected by this too!!" and feel like THEIR problems are being dismissed, as if they don't go through transphobia, misogyny, toxic masculinity, and even death. but the thing is, i feel like a lot of them just don't see behind the scenes and see how hot the flames are for the circumstances trans women are being put in, even some of the struggles that people affected by transmisogyny hold in to try to create an environment that isn't festering with hate and sorrow.

imagine this situation is basically you are in an emergency room. and the order that patients are served are, most urgent patients come first. and yes, the transphobia, misogyny, white patriarchy, toxic cultish masculinity practices come down in one sweep. if you are trans, you are probably going to be affected by transphobia unless you are incredibly lucky, and we are all hurting. but some trans issues are much more urgent, more of an emergency and these people in our community are vulnerable and desperately need our support.

we need to stand up for our trans women and TMA nonbinary people (especially our black trans women and black nonbinary folk because they are in a doubly vulnerable position) and everyone else affected by transmisogyny because the way they are affected by this may be way more crazy and out of proportion than you think. easily, this issue currently going on with the tumblr CEO is shedding a sickening light on this problem.

#clone post from cohost #transmisogyny #transphobia #transgender #TMA #TME #transsexual #nonbinary

[she-is-ovarit]

Data spanning from 1995 to 2021 in India revealed a striking gender imbalance in organ transplants, with four men getting organ transplants for every woman. A total of 36,640 transplants took place in this period, out of which 29,000 were for men and 6,945 for women.

This substantial difference is attributed to a complex interplay of economic responsibilities, societal pressures, and deeply ingrained preferences. 

Dr Anil Kumar, director of the government-run National Organ & Tissue Transplant Organisation (NOTTO) highlighted this significant aspect of the organ donation landscape.

While more men contribute as cadaver donors, a staggering 93 per cent of total organ donations in the country come from living donors, he told the Times of India newspaper. This hints at a trend: a majority of living organ donors are women.  Socio-economic factors a driving force for women donors? A study published in the Experimental and Clinical Transplantation Journal in 2021 delved into the intricacies of living organ transplantation in India. The findings showed that 80 per cent of living organ donors are women, predominantly wives or mothers. The socio-economic pressure on women to assume caregiving roles within the family emerges as a primary factor, compelling them to step forward as donors. Men's reluctance in surgery In many cases, men, often the primary breadwinners, hesitate to undergo surgery, contributing to the gender gap in organ recipients. The study highlights that when the recipient is a male breadwinner, family members, especially wives or parents, feel a heightened responsibility to donate organs. Emotional dynamics The emotional dynamics surrounding organ donation are intricate. Women recipients, in particular, may experience guilt when their family members, especially wives or mothers, become donors. This reluctance leads to a scenario where women recipients may find themselves on waiting lists.  Notably, Karnataka has topped the charts in organ donation in the past decade. The number of donations have risen from 102 in 2013 to 765 in the first 10 months of 2023. 

A user on Ovarit added this helpful context:

"Just a little more context to this: men produce male-specific proteins (on the Y chromosome) which often get rejected by women's bodies. Since males have an X chromosome, their bodies recognize proteins from female donors. This makes it more difficult for women to receive male tissue/organs, while still being acceptable candidates for donating to men. Even still, these ratios are very disproportionate".

"As women we absolutely need to be aware of our vulnerability of being used as spare parts in a man's world. Especially when we are being socialized into believing that we need to sacrifice our bodies and lives for others- and society has developed a sense of entitlement to this sacrifice, while downplaying the suffering of women."

#organ donation #marxist feminism #India #women's rights #feminism #global feminism #intersectional feminism #women's oppression #patriarchy #sex-based oppression #gender critical #gender critical feminism #radblr

[sopebubbles]

Master List

Fourteen

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: Your second heat with the pack begins, and Yoongi, Jimin and Hoseok promise to make it better than any before.

Warnings: talks of past trauma, nightmares, SMUT (I honestly didn't think this was gonna happen), penetrative sex (female and male), use of sex toys, unprotected sex, LOTS of kissing and touching, lots of pet names.

WC: 14k

"Mmm, you're in preheat," Yoongi said against your neck. He could smell you getting sweeter and sweeter. He'd noticed it a couple of hours ago, but let you keep sleeping. His heart dropped when he felt you tense up beneath him, knowing you were going into distress, souring just a little. "It will be alright, princess. We're here to help." He did his best to soothe you, but when you remained still, he pulled you back against him, away from Jimin. 

"Jimin, go get Hobi," he instructed, and the beta got up without asking any questions. Yoongi rolled you over so he could see your face even though you wouldn't look at him. He smoothed your hair back as he spoke softly. "We should have done this sooner, but we're going to talk with Hobi and make a plan. Everything will be alright."

He began to feel a little panic when you didn't respond, and he wondered if maybe you didn't trust him completely yet. Maybe you were still afraid of him a little. Maybe you feared that he wasn't going to keep the promises he had made you on the day you finally became his. His heart broke a little, although he could never blame you. But he didn't know what he would do if you kicked him out to go through your heat alone. He couldn't let that happen. He'd lose his mind.

"I don't understand why she's so broken up about it," Jimin heard Namjoon say as he walked down the stairs. "If I were her I'd be thrilled the bastard is dead."

"Because she's a good girl who doesn't want to be a murderer," Hoseok replied. "I'm sure she'd be happy if she didn't feel responsible. I wish she could see that she isn't."

All heads turned toward Jimin as he entered the kitchen where they all sat, drinking tea, or in Jungkook and Namjoon's case, beer. 

"How is she doing?" Tae asked urgently. 

"She feels like shit. But we have a different problem. Hobi, Yoongi wants you upstairs."

Hobi stood up and set his mug heavily on the table. "What's wrong?"

Jimin frowned. "She's in pre-heat," he replied before turning to go back up the stairs. 

"Taehyung, I need you to go to the grocery store to stock up. Take Namjoon with you," Hobi said before following Jimin. 

"But-"

"No buts," he said curtly and disappeared.

"I'll go, if you don't want to," Jin told Namjoon softly.

"Or the two of you can go and I'll stay here," Taehyung offered, not at all wanting to leave the house while you were becoming more vulnerable by the second. 

Namjoon sighed. "If the two of us go we won't come back with any of the things we actually need. And Hobi probably needs you here, Jin. It's fine. I'll go."

Jimin knocked on the door before opening it, startling both you and Yoongi. When you saw Hobi behind him, you both sat up to be able to talk to them properly. He sat on the edge of the bed and touched his hand to your forehead. 

"You're hot as hell, but you smell like heaven. How are you feeling, pup?" He asked, but you merely shrugged. 

"Hobi, Y/N told me a while ago that she doesn't like dealing with her heats. She said they hurt. I know we should have worked it out earlier, but I was hoping you could help us come up with a plan or something. You're the expert and I…"

Yoongi didn't need to finish his sentence for Hoseok to know just how lost he felt. It was clear in his eyes, though he was trying to hide it. He looked from your alpha to you and smiled. "Heats aren't bad if you manage them right, pup. We'll get through it fine. Can you tell me what you normally do for your heats?"

You shook your head and pulled your knees toward your chest. "Nothing. I haven't been having them for a couple years. I don't know."

"Well, what was your best heat like?"

You looked at him blankly. "My best heat was the one I had last time. With you."

His heart ached. That couldn't be true. The struggle he'd watched you go through couldn't have been the best of an experience that Hoseok often found actually quite enjoyable.

He swallowed, steeling himself to dig into what he guessed was going to be a lot of trauma. "Sweetheart, can you tell me about your first heat?"

You broke eye contact with him, lowering your gaze to your knees where the old jeans you were still wearing were worn thin, ready to rip apart. You shook your head. 

Yoongi rubbed a hand down your spine, still tense, and begged. "Please, princess. I know it might hurt, but we can't make it better until we know what's wrong."

You breathed in deep and pushed it out. Your voice cracked when it first came out. "I was sixteen when I had my first. I didn't know what was happening at first. No one had ever told me what it would be like, and I was so old, I thought at that point I was a beta, like Eli." The words caught around the lump in your throat, but you swallowed it down. "When my m-mother found me. Sh-she she dragged me from the nest I made." You hadn't realized you'd begun to cry until Jimin took one of your balled-up fists in his hand to relax it. "She and my father took me out to the back of the farm and left me outside the property in the woods. It was the last time I saw them."

Hoseok wanted to tear them apart with his teeth, but it wasn't about them right now. He wiped your cheeks. "That must have been very scary. You were so brave. What did you do?"

You sniffed. "I was pretty out of it. I stayed in the woods until it was over because I didn't want s-someone else to find me," you hiccuped. "There were other animals out there and–"

"Y/N," Hoseok interrupted you. His voice was so firm you had to instantly look him in the eyes. "You are not an animal. No matter what they told you, you're a person. Got it?" He watched your eyes glass over before you nodded. "Sorry, pup. I didn't mean to sound so angry. I'm not…I'm not mad at you." You lowered your eyes again, and he couldn't help but feel bad and wonder if he was helping at all. "I'm sorry. Go on."

You cleared your throat. "After it was over, I hitchhiked to the nearest city, an hour or so away. I was on the streets for about six months, so like two heats bc they were farther apart then. You can imagine how that went." 

Hoseok did his very best not to imagine it. Jimin's grip on your hand tightened as he recalled the night they found you, what they stopped and what he feared could have happened. He never thought you might have already lived the worst things he could think of. Yoongi on your other side was deadly silent.

"Anyway, then I met Sebastian and Roxy, and I think Yoongi told you about what that was like already." You looked at Yoongi for the first time since you'd started telling your story, but he didn't look at your face. When you looked back at Hoseok, he nodded. "When I went to jail, they made me take heat suppressants and since then I've pretty much stayed on them. It's been…better."

Hobi swallowed down the bile rising in his throat as he tried to look for something to say. Before he could think of anything, Jimin spoke. 

"Y/N-ie, can I hold you?" He asked softly.

You looked at him in surprise. "Y-you want to hold me?"

He nodded. "I think it will make you–no, I don't know if it will actually make you feel better, but if it's alright with you, I'd like to try. I think it would make me worry less," he admitted. "It's okay if you don't want to. I won't force–"

You stopped him by moving closer, between his legs. "It always makes me feel better. And I don't want you to worry."

For a brief moment, Yoongi forgot his anger and concern as he watched Jimin wrap his arms around your waist and you leaned your head on his shoulder. He almost smiled. Then he looked at Hoseok, who had finally composed himself. 

"Pup," he started softly, pulling your attention away from Jimin's collar to look up at him, but you didn't move an inch. You looked tiny in Jimin's arms, and something about it made his heart swell. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sad you had to go through all of that alone. I promise that for the rest of your life, anyone who tries to hurt you like that will answer to me personally." His eyes slid briefly over to your alpha and back to you, but Yoongi didn't seem bothered by the threat. "That's not what heats are supposed to be like, and I'm going to make sure that you can see that someday. I know it won't be perfect this time, but I think we can make it better."

"How?" You asked softly. 

"For starters, the four of us will be the only people allowed in this room. I'll do what I can to make sure you don't even smell the other alphas, and they won't bother you. Would that make you feel safer?" 

"You'll be in here with me?" You looked at your alpha. 

"We're not going to let you be alone this time, princess. We'll be here to make sure you stay hydrated and eat when you can. We can help keep you calm and make you as relaxed as possible," he said.

"But what about…will you…will we?"

He shook his head. "I made you a promise, pup, and I'm going to keep it. I'm not going to breed you. I'm just going to keep you company."

"But what if I…" You shrank into Jimin's chest and picked at your nails. "When I'm like that, sometimes I–" they all waited patiently while you tried to get the words out. "Sometimes I want it, even if I think I don't want it. It's like my body just…" your voice was strangled by the shame in your throat. 

"That's completely normal, sweetheart," Hobi told you. "That's the whole point of being in heat. Everyone wants a knot. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Still, you flushed. "Then why don't you want to?" You asked Yoongi.

"I do!" He answered quickly and then tried to swallow his enthusiasm. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to. I don't want to, but not because I don't want you. I want you so much, princess, honestly. But I want you to feel safe and comfortable and to trust me way more than I want to satisfy some basic instinct for either of us."

"You're still attracted to me, right?" You asked in the shyest voice he's ever heard. 

"Yes, princess. We talked about that," he grinned. "But that doesn't mean I need to breed you. Even if you beg for it."

"There are other ways to satisfy those needs, if they become overwhelming," Hobi interjected to point out. 

You turned your attention back to him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Typically parents don't really want their adolescent omegas to go around breeding before they're ready. My parents let me use other methods, like plugs and dildos to scratch that itch. It's not the same, but it helps a little with the discomfort," he explained. 

"Hobi, I don't know," Yoongi responded when you curled into Jimin's chest to hide your face. 

"It's just a suggestion. It might help. I agree that you shouldn't be giving her your knot this time around, but she shouldn't have to suffer." He took your hand and made you look at him. "You've been taught that your body is something you should be ashamed and afraid of, but it isn't. The things you feel are normal and natural. It's okay to feel wary of an alpha. The two of you are still getting to know each other. But it's time for you to stop being afraid of yourself. Understand?"

You nodded slowly. "Can Yoongi and Jimin still like, hold me and kiss me? Or is that off limits too?" 

Yoongi chuckled. "Of course. You can have all the cuddles and kisses you want, princess," he told you, stroking your cheek. 

Hoseok nodded thoughtfully and sighed. "If there's nothing else, then I think you should go get a shower. Cool, not too hot or cold. A hot shower will pull you down faster, but a cold one will throw you off balance. After, you can put on something soft and new. I washed it all and put it in the wardrobe. If you feel up to it afterwards, then you can come down and eat with us. If not, I'll send the boys up with something."

You agreed and let Jimin help you off the bed, stumbling a little into him and finding that your coordination was already suffering. Hoseok gathered up the blankets in your nest.

"Jimin, you'd better go clean up, too. I'll go get some things washed and ready. I'll get Jin to order some pizza for dinner," Hobi said as he left the room.

"I've got to go out for a bit," Yoongi said, walking out after him. 

Your soft whine stopped him in his tracks. "Do you have to work tonight?"

He looked softly down at you. "No, princess. I was off until Wednesday anyway, but I'll be calling in sick until it's over."

"You're coming back, right? I-I didn't scare you away?" The tangible fear in your voice shattered the last intact pieces of his heart. He walked back to where you stood in your doorway and placed his hand on your shoulder. 

"Of course not. I'm just going to get a couple things for you. I'll be back in less than an hour. I promise." He kissed you on the forehead to seal it. You whispered an okay and watched him follow Hobi down the stairs before you walked across the hall to the bathroom.

"Are you really going to leave your omega when she's in pre-heat?" Hoseok asked when he heard the bathroom door close and they had reached the first floor.

"I have to. We're going with your plan, so I need to get her some things. Clock's ticking," Yoongi said as he searched around for his wallet and keys.

"Tae's already out. I can call him and have him make a stop," Hoseok said casually as he walked toward the laundry room.

"Taehyung is not buying my omega a knot plug," Yoongi said firmly and loudly. A little too loudly. In the kitchen, Jungkook choked on his drink and sputtered onto Jin.

"A what?" The beta asked as he wiped at his face. 

"Don't worry about it," Hoseok said as he walked by. "Go on, Yoongi. I won't waste your time riling you up for my own amusement tonight. Hurry back."

Yoongi grumbled something unintelligible before he left the room.

"What was that about?" Jin asked after the front door closed. "Why does she need a knot plug when she has her alpha now?"

"She's not ready for all that," Hobi said softly. "And that's all anyone needs to know."

"Is it going to be like last time?" Jungkook wondered. 

"For the four of you, pretty much. I'm expecting you to show some self-control. I'll be helping them as much as I can, so I won't be able to keep you in line. I don't want you or Namjoon so much as looking at her door. Not that it will be much of a problem for you," Hobi mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jin asked.

"I know you don't like her much. Hopefully that makes it easier to stay away."

Jin sighed. "I don't have anything against her, honestly. I'm staying away for Yoongi, and because I know she's scared. Joon–well, l don't know how he feels about it, but you don't have to worry about him. I'd worry about Taehyung if I were you."

"Why?"

"He's sniffing around her. I know you've noticed."

Hoseok shrugged. "Tae likes her. He won't do anything about it though. He knows she's fragile, and he won't do anything until she wants him to. He's harmless."

"If you say so," Jin shrugged. "Do you want me to stick around this week, just in case?"

"That's not necessary. We can handle it. I would bet on you needing to make time for me by the end of the week, if it's anything like last time," Hobi told him and the alpha nodded, trying not to look too excited about it.

When Yoongi returned forty-two minutes later, you and Jimin were both sitting at the kitchen table eating pizza, dressed in silky soft pajamas. Hoseok stood behind your chair, gently combing out your hair while Jungkook stood over Jimin with a towel, wringing the water from his hair. But what struck Yoongi was how happy the two of you looked. Jimin must have scented you a bit because that was the only time you ever looked so giddy. The beta, too, looked very giggly, but Jungkook always had the ability to make him that way. 

"Did I miss something?" Yoongi asked after he stashed the bag he'd brought in by the stairs instead of bringing it into the kitchen. 

"Nothing really. Just some sweet smelling pups," Hobi smiled. Yoongi could tell he was living a dream come true with your hair in his hands. 

"My sweet smelling pups," Yoongi responded. 

"Yeah, yeah." Hobi bent down to your ear, but spoke loudly enough for all to hear, "Alpha's so territorial." 

You swallowed, but couldn't hide the heat in your cheeks. Yoongi replied with a non threatening growl.

"Yoon, your hair is wet, too," Jungkook said, walking over with the towel he had used on Jimin. 

"I'm okay, Kookie." He ducked the towel coming for his head. 

Jungkook shushed him. "Stubborn alpha."

"Is it raining out?" Jin asked. 

"Pouring. It's supposed to storm off and on all night. You can't hear the thunder?"

They all shook their heads. They'd been laughing since the pizza got here. Over nothing even. It seemed like your scent in the air had loosened them all up, almost like they were intoxicated by you. Your sweet pheromones had become like a social lubricant, making everything easier between all of you. Something sick and familiar twisted in Yoongi's gut. He should be happy everything was so harmonious—and part of him certainly was—but it grated against his own jealousy that wanted to hide you away for himself, just a little longer. 

"Come eat, alpha," your sweet voice broke through, and his dark clouds cleared. "You can sit by me," you added shyly, as if he wouldn't want to. 

Without giving a second thought to the feelings of a moment ago, he did as you suggested and sat to eat. He'd need every calorie to put every bit of energy into looking after you. You pulled your chair closer to his and he looked down at you surprised. 

"I'm glad you came back," you whispered while the others talked. 

"I told you I would," he replied. 

"I know, and I tried really hard to believe it. I was just scared and I…i don't want to lose you," you admitted. 

Yoongi gave you a tight smile as he stroked your hair. "You won't. No matter what happens, in the next few days or in the future, I'll be right here. I'll be yours. You don't have to worry."

He placed a gentle kiss on your lips and pulled away to see you smiling, a little dopey, your eyes shining bright. "Okay."

You let him eat, but stuck close by his side, swatting at Jimin's hands when he tried to pull you away. Yoongi grinned like an idiot and teased him about being your favorite. 

"She's in heat, and you're her alpha. It doesn't mean anything," Jimin grumbled back.

When he noticed you begin to sag, not less happy but beginning to look more tired, Hobi grabbed your purple blanket from the dryer and whisked you upstairs. It was time for your first heat nest, as well as your first nest for your pack. They looked on from the hallway, your alpha and beta, but you tried not to look back at them. 

"Do you think…?" You felt very nervous, afraid you wouldn't be able to provide the comfort they were used to. 

"Don't think about it," Hobi told you. "Remember, the nest isn't for them. It's for you, and they're just lucky to be there. Only worry about what you need tonight."

Maybe your nest ended up a little asymmetrical as you tried your best to make it bigger for the three of you. Only you and Hobi noticed, and no one said a thing. It was cozy and warm and enough for your pack. That was all that mattered right now. When you had each pillow and blanket where you felt it should go, you turned to the boys. They only looked back at you, so you walked to the door and grabbed Jimin by the wrist to pull him over to the bed. Never one to pass up the opportunity to tease, he merely stood there, waiting for you to puppet him into position, to place him like one of your soft pillows. When you looked up at him with large pleading eyes, he still didn't respond. You huffed and pushed him on the bed, to which he only giggled as he flopped over. Yoongi was much more eager to please. His smile looked like it might crack his face in half as he went to his designated spot. Then you looked back at Hobi. 

"All that's left is you, pup," he smiled softly at you.

You bit your lip before you found your voice to speak. "Is it good?"

"That's for you to decide, and for that you have to get in," he urged, gently guiding you to the side of the bed where you had put Yoongi. "But from here it looks very good, little one."

You looked doubtfully at your nest for a moment, wondering how to go about getting into it, before Yoongi grabbed you by your waist and lifted you in to lay between him and Jimin. The beta didn't waste a second wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling into your neck playfully. 

"This is definitely one of the best nests I've ever been in," he said as he probed your scent gland with his nose. 

Yoongi smiled at the two of you before he looked back at Hobi. He thought the omega looked almost longing, as if he wished he could be in there, too. "Thank you, Hobah," Yoongi said softly when he caught the alpha watching.

"I didn't do anything," Hobi replied. 

Yoongi shook his head. "We wouldn't be here without you. You've helped a lot."

Hobi sighed, "Well, I'll just be down the hall if you need anything."

Before he could leave, Yoongi reached out to take his hand and pulled him closer. He placed a kiss on the omega's lips and whispered another thanks. 

"Goodnight, pups. Sleep well," he said before leaving the room, but Jimin was already taking your mind far away.

The thunder didn't start up again until you were already asleep, well and deeply off to dreamland after Jimin and Yoongi scented you into a happy puddle between them. Jimin's lavender had been getting stronger over the past couple of weeks. He might not have noticed it, but you had. As he drove your scent higher and higher, his own followed suit. Tonight, his soothing smell soaked the pillow under your head as well as the air around you, and maybe that's why your usually awful dreams were just slightly less so. 

Maybe you had taken some of the power out of the memories when you told the three of them earlier. 

Maybe, for once, you just felt safe. 

You always dreamed about that first heat every time after that. It was one of the things you wanted to avoid when you decided to use the pills to escape the endless cycles. Sometimes you dreamed that when you were alone at night in the woods, animals came and tore you apart with their teeth. Sometimes other villains from your past waited to give you fitting punishment for the transgression of being what you were born to be. 

Tonight, after your parents dropped you off at the edge of the trees, the sky grew dark with rain clouds, and thunder cracked loudly overhead. You screamed, and a hand reached out to grab your shoulder. As you tried to squirm away, hiding your face to avoid a blow, you heard his voice. Quiet and steady. 

"It's okay, princess. I'm here." It was Yoongi's voice speaking to you in the darkness, and he took you in his arms. "It's just a storm."

He pulled you to your feet and you began to walk deeper into the forest. 

"Where are we going?" You asked as you stumbled along beside him. 

"I'm taking you home," he answered. 

Another loud clap of thunder rumbled the whole house, and your eyes snapped open. Your fists tightened around Yoongi's shirt. 

"It's okay, princess. It's just a storm. I'm right here." His soft voice was followed by lips pressed to your forehead. 

"Where are we?" You asked. 

"We're at home. We're in your nest. It's safe and perfect. You did such a good job pup," he complimented, his arms secured around you.

You relaxed against him, letting go of his t-shirt, and pressed your forehead to his collarbone. "I'm really glad you like it."

Yoongi hummed appreciatively. "You're my favorite part though."

Butterflies rustled their wings in your stomach and you pressed yourself closer "Sorry for waking you."

"You didn't. Go back to sleep, little one. I'll be here, watching over you."

You couldn't fight the command, either because you were eager to do as he asked or because your eyes were already heavy and closing on their own. It really didn't matter. 

Yoongi wasn't naive enough to believe that the next several days were going to be easy for him. He knew it would take a level of self-restraint that he'd never had to possess before. But it would be worth it if he could make you feel safe. 

He hadn't pictured waking up with his leg between yours while you grind your heat against his thigh. Your mouth was wet and warm as you kissed and licked at his collar bone. At first, he didn't know what he should do. He didn't mind. Not in the slightest. He was more than happy to lay there and offer you any relief he could. But he was cognizant enough to realize that your actions might progress into more complicated territory, if he let it, and the farther you got, the harder it would be to stop or change course. 

Yoongi turned more onto his side, raising his hand to your back before sliding it up to your hair. His grip was firm but gentle as he held you a few inches away from him.

"Good morning, princess," he said softly and watched you smile. Your eyes were completely glazed over, but you looked so happy. He kept you there for several more seconds before you started to whine. 

"Alpha," was the only word to pass your lips, and it came out desperately. Your hips, which had paused before, began to move in circular motions again, and your whines deepened in pitch until they became moans. Warm, gooey apple pie coated his tongue and his skin as it fluffed out from your scent glands. The deep primal place within him that mirrors yours began to rumble in his chest, a satisfied growl that told him this was right. You were his omega, and he had you oh so close at last. He brought your mouth to his in a teeth-clashing, devouring kiss that you happily reciprocated. Yoongi's other arm wound around your back, pulling your chest against his. Nothing but the thin fabric of the soft pajamas you both wore stood between your bodies. He couldn't get enough of you, and he wanted you to get all of him that you needed, so he held you firmly and let you continue your writhing against him. 

It wasn't long before your movement woke Jimin, too. For a moment, he was confused, having never woken up in your nest before. But he turned over to see you pressed against Yoongi, both oblivious to him as you kissed. He sat up quickly, wondering if Yoongi had already lost his self-control so quickly and was relieved to see you both had your clothes on still. A smirk crossed his lips at how greedily you kissed Yoongi. With Hoseok, there were always so many partners to focus on, so many other bodies in the room. He never looked quite as hungry as you did now. And Yoongi never quite got to have his way with Hoseok the way he was with you now, giving you his complete and undivided attention. At least until Jimin reached out and touched your waist, at which point he pulled away just far enough to let out a feral growl. 

You let out a sound, half whine, half moan, but Jimin just laughed. 

"Calm down, hyung. It's just me," he said as he ran his fingers into Yoongi's hair and pulled slightly. "It's just Jiminie." 

In response, Yoongi gave a happy grumble and raised his head to get a kiss from Jimin. The beta nipped playfully at his lips that you had kissed swollen and pouty. He could taste you all over Yoongi's mouth, and you were as delicious as you smelled. Half laying back down beside you, Jimin pulled you against him, creating a little distance between you and your alpha. He held you firmly at your ribs, just under your breast. A sigh slipped past your lips as Jimin's mouth met your shoulder. His teeth pinched your skin before his soft lips soothed his bites away. 

Yoongi, however, wasn't too pleased with having his plaything stolen away and slid down to press kisses to bits of skin that your thin tank top left exposed. Hungry, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbones led to red-turning-purple hickies blooming on the swells at the top of your breasts.

And that's how Hobi found you when he came to bring you breakfast, only to discover you being devoured. He couldn't help a little laugh. 

"Look at the three of you, humping like a bunch of horny teenagers."

Three sets of eyes, all black-pitted with arousal, turned in his direction, startled but not alarmed.

"Sorry to interrupt, pups, but I think I did you a favor. You need something to eat and drink." He set a tray at the end of the bed and knelt on the wooden chest to chat with you all. Well, with Jimin and Yoongi. Their eyes were slowly returning to normal while yours remained somewhat clouded, too far down in omega space to come up simply because someone brought in food. Yoongi helped you sit up, though it was really more like leaning you against him. Jimin pulled up the top of your shirt, but it did nothing to hide the darkening bruises. 

"How was last night?" Hoseok asked as Yoongi plucked a tangerine from the tray of food and quickly peeled the rind in one piece. He tore away a slice and pressed it to your lips. 

"Eat it," he chuckled when you only looked up at him, and you opened your mouth just enough for him to slide it past your lips. "It was fine. She had a couple nightmares, but I think it was the storms, and she calmed down soon after."

Jimin hummed as he took a sip of coffee. "It would make sense that she doesn't like storms," Jimin thought aloud, as if you weren't there, and in a way, you weren't. You didn't process much of what they said but only stared at Yoongi's lips, waiting to be given another bite. It wasn't the food you craved, but your alpha's attention. 

"Why?" Hobi asked, watching you fixate on Yoongi. He wondered if he looked that cute and absorbed in his alphas. 

"I mean, all that time she spent on the street, she probably has weathered a few bad ones. And then there was the night she came home…"

Hobi shuttered at the thought of you alone and wet. But sitting as you were now with Yoongi, there was nothing but happiness and safety visible around you. 

"You're safe now, aren't you, pup?" Yoongi cooed as his thumb lingered over your bottom lip. 

"See if she'll take some of the eggs," Hobi suggested, handing him a bowl of scrambled eggs. "She needs protein, too. Sometimes you guys forget."

There were forks on the tray, but Yoongi didn't bother with it. The eggs were firm enough for him to grab a bite with his fingers. Now you eagerly opened your mouth for him, lightly licking his fingertips when they touched your tongue. It could have been gross, but if the way the three men watched you was any indication, it was clearly erotic. Hobi watched Yoongi feed you a couple more bites before he snapped out of it. 

"How is she handling…her urges?" He asked, struggling to find a way to put it delicately. Normally he wouldn't bother, but with you the whole topic felt more sensitive. 

Yoongi shrugged. 

"They were already all over each other when I woke up," Jimin answered. 

"She was all over me when I woke up!" Yoongi defended. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Control yourself a little, maybe?" Hoseok suggested. 

"I was! I would have stopped it before it got any farther," Yoongi said, but he wasn't completely convincing.

"Yoon." Hobi looked into the alpha's eyes deeply and they stared at one another for a long moment.

"Don't worry guys. That's what I'm here for. I promise not to let him go too far," Jimin interrupted. 

Hobi sighed and lowered his eyes to the tray of food. "Can you guys handle this?"

"We can!" Jimin answered. "I promise. We've got this. I'm not going to let her get hurt."

"Well, then I guess I'll go get her dildos ready for when the time comes," Hoseok said with an eye roll as he hauled himself up from his seat. 

"I didn't buy her dildos! There will be no fucking! It's just to ease her discomfort," Yoongi responded. 

"Gosh, you're so sensitive right now, Yoongles," Hobi snickered. His mocking was all for Yoongi, not for you. Yet deep down, the omega was proud of him for making these choices for you. Most alphas probably wouldn't. Most would either try to convince an omega to do something they weren't comfortable with or leave the omega alone to deal with it themselves. The fact that Yoongi, and even Jimin, was willing to go through the discomfort of not being able to care for you in the traditional way filled Hobi with pride. 

He left the room, picking up the black bag Yoongi had brought home last night on his way to the bathroom across the hall. With the door shut, he removed not one but two silicone plugs. At the store, Yoongi had realized how unprepared he was. He didn't know what size you would need. One the one hand, you were so tiny, it didn't seem like anything but the smallest would fit inside of you, but on the other, his inner voice had told him you'd need to feel nice and full to be comfortable. In the end, he chose a smaller one and another he thought was comparable to his own size and rushed home. But at least he'd thought about getting the special cleanser, too. The pack wasn't big into sex toys, having more than enough appendages of all sizes to go around. Hobi carefully removed the plugs from their packaging and cleaned them thoroughly. Then he placed them in a soft, clean towel and took them back across the hall, setting them on top of your dresser. 

He sighed and wiped his hands on his pants. "Okay, so, they should be ready…whenever you need them." 

He went to go grab the tray off the bed, which the boys had mostly cleared off. Yoongi watched the omega while chewing the inside of his check. When their eyes met, he decided to speak.

"I was kind of hoping you'd be here to help," he said quickly and softly. His cheeks heating with shame and a flurry of other emotions. Yoongi could fuck with the best of them. Of the alphas, only he and Taehyung had ever been with women. But Yoongi was still at a loss of how to do this, and how to handle you. In his heart, he was terrified of hurting you, or scaring you and ruining everything. Maybe it was wrong to use Hobi as a crutch, but he needed it. 

Hoseok froze, half crouched with the tray in his hands. His eyes slid from Yoongi over to you where you buried your face in Yoongi's shoulder. He was uncharacteristically speechless, and spent several long seconds searching for words. 

"Oh…um…well. I didn't realize you'd actually need me for that part," he admitted. "I have some things I need to do right now."

"Not right now, no. I don't think she's there yet. It might not be until later. But I–I think we need you, Hobi." The desperation in Yoongi's vice only made things more difficult for the omega.

"I don't know, Yoongi. Jin…I don't know if he would like it."

Yoongi hung his head. He couldn't argue with that. There wasn't necessarily any reason for Jin to disapprove. It wouldn't interfere with anything regarding Hoseok or Jin's pack. Not really. But you were part of Yoongi's pack, and Hoseok was not. And you weren't Jin's either. This was new and uncharted territory, but Yoongi realized he really wasn't in a position to ask this much. Seokjin had been as good as he could be expected to be in the last few weeks, and to ask any more might be pushing their luck.

"Right. I understand," Yoongi sighed.

"It's not that I don't want to help, Yoon–"

Yoongi held up a hand. "No. No, I get it. I shouldn't have asked. It's too much to ask. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," Hoseok said softly.

"No. It's alright. You can go." Yoongi said it quietly enough that Hobi knew he wasn't mad, but he could help feeling that the alpha seemed defeated, and his stomach swirled with guilt. He lowered his eyes and backed out of the room. Just before the door closed, he heard Jimin's voice:

"Don't worry, hyung. We'll work it out."

Hobi carried the tray down to the kitchen and set it on the counter next to the sink. He inhaled deeply and exhaled to release the tension in his shoulders. Instead of immediately starting on the dishes, he decided to seek out Taehyung. 

Although he hadn't seen the youngest alpha get up, he'd seen the pack's bedroom door open, so he knew he must be around somewhere. He wasn't playing games in the living room, so Hobi looked for him in the sun room at the front of the house that had been granted to him as his art studio. But he wasn't there either. So Hobi went to the backdoor and slipped into someone's slides. Noticing the door to the detached garage was open, he set off across the spacious backyard in that direction. 

Inside the dusty outbuilding was an assortment of things that Hoseok either hadn't yet found a place for or wasn't willing to let go of, alongside tools and Hobi's ambitions for a blooming garden by the time summer came around, but no cars. He did, however, find his alpha. Taehyung must have been lost in thought because he jumped a little when Hobi spoke. 

"What's an alpha like you doing all the way out here?" He asked in that teasing voice he seemed to love using most on Tae.

"I thought I'd get started on your garden finally," he said flatly. "If we keep putting it off, the season will go by."

"You need to start today?"

"It's a beautiful day," Tae countered. Hoseok didn't miss the fact that the alpha hadn't looked at him once since he walked in, so he stepped forward to place a hand on his cheek. The two men were almost exactly the same height, so it wasn't difficult for Hobi to meet him eye to eye. 

"Is something on your mind?" He asked. Tae closed his eyes and took a breath, breathing in the scent of you. 

"It's just kind of strange, y'know. Spending time with her yesterday, I guess I felt like I was on the inside track, and now I feel so far outside. I just want to see her and talk to her and…"

"Fuck her brains out?"

"I'm not a pig, Hoseok…. But I am an alpha so like just a little bit. Yeah, I guess," he chuckled while his ears reddened. "I just want to spend some time outside until the others come back, so you don't have to worry about me."

Hoseok smiled as he placed his other hand on the other side of Tae's face and stroked his beautiful high cheekbones. "That's fine, baby boy. It's good to keep yourself busy," he agreed before he kissed his lips gently. "You're doing a great job. And I'm sure as soon as this is all over, you'll be right back where you were with her."

Taehyung's eyes sparked with hope. "I hope so. How is she doing?"

Hoseok attempted to keep his smile in place, but Taehyung knew it well enough to see how the corners of his lips drooped. "She's getting through it. It's not easy for her. It doesn't mean to her what it means to us. Not yet anyway."

Taehyung frowned. "Do you ever see her and think how lucky you are that you got to grow up with your family?" Hobi hummed. "The ways she doesn't know how to be herself are more heartbreaking than the scars of how people have hurt her."

"I'm trying my best–" Hoseok's voice broke at the thought of continuing your life as you'd been living it. 

"You're doing so well with her. Sometimes, I think the luckiest thing will be her having you. Not to disrespect Yoongi hyung, but he can only make her physically safe. Which is important but…I don't know if it would ever matter if you weren't there to stop her from hurting herself on the inside."

Hoseok lowered his eyes and shook his head. "Sometimes the things she says make me so mad, if they came from anyone else, I'd slap them right in the mouth."

Taehyung laughed. "Well, don't do that, and I think she'll keep learning from you. You're good for her."

"I'm just doing my best. I can't fix her."

"You don't have to fix her. I know you love her. That's enough."

Hobi thought it over for a moment. "I guess I do…like I would a child."

Tae snorted. "Sure, hyung. Like a child."

Hoseok went back into the house to take care of the dishes from the morning. There were no sounds coming from upstairs. Your scent filled the house, but it remained even. Maybe you had fallen asleep in your pack's arms. Regardless, he couldn't keep his thoughts from you. His help was needed, and he wanted to give it, but how far could he go to do that? 

Yoongi and Jin had drawn lines around you that were clear and solid for the members of the two packs living in his house, but not for Hobi. No one could exactly tell the pack omega what to do, not even Jin, but that didn't necessarily mean he would do whatever he pleased. Even though helping you through this ordeal wouldn't impact Hoseok and his upcoming heat in any way, that didn't mean he was free to lend himself out for…sexual services. But it wasn't like you were an alpha or that Hobi would get any gratification from helping you. His head spun with the ramifications, and his stomach twisted into knots as he scrubbed dish after dish. 

Finally, he decided to do the only thing he could do when he struggled to make a decision. He called his husband. 

"Hello, my love. Is everything okay?" Jin asked when he answered his phone. It wasn't common for Hoseok to call him in the morning at work. 

"Yeah, everyone's fine," Hobi answered, but he couldn't hide the shake in his voice from Jin, and the silence that lingered after didn't help to sell it.

Jin smiled. He knew if something was really wrong that Hoseok wouldn't hesitate to say it, so there must be something on his mind, and whatever it was made him shy. "What is it, Seokkie?" 

The omega blushed at the infrequently used pet name. It made him feel like a boy again. It had been Jungkook who started calling him Hobi, and now Jin only used 'Seokkie' when they were alone or he wanted to be particularly intimate. It reminded them both of just how long their love story was and how deeply they knew one another. Hoseok explained your predicament to his husband in a rush of words, like ripping off a bandaid.

"I see," Jin responded when he'd finished, not knowing what else to say. 

"If you don't want me to do it, then I won't," Hobi added. 

Jin chuckled. "You're asking for my permission? Since when?"

"This is serious Jinnie."

The alpha took a beat to appreciate that. Hoseok was right. He'd explained your history to Jin last night, so he knew just how fragile you were on the subject. He didn't expect to hear how Yoongi struggled. "Do you want to do it for Yoongi or for her?"

Hobi sighed. "Both? I don't know. I want her to feel okay. I want to help him avoid doing something he'll regret later. I want everyone to feel happy. Including you. Including me."

Jin considered that. He tried to consider how Yoongi must feel, only being able to offer his omega this small bit of relief instead of what he would naturally want to give you. But he knew that Yoongi wasn't really the obstacle to helping you. It was him. It was knowing that you were Yoongi's in the way that Hobi was his. And as much as Hobi could go his own way on things, he'd never disrespect Jin or disregard his feelings. "Do you think she'll be part of our pack one day? Is that a possibility?"

Hobi's tone brightened. "I really do! She's trying very hard, Jinnie. She's listening and learning. And I think she trusts me. I think she could trust you."

Jin conceded. "I'm not going to stop you, my love. If you want to help them, it's fine with me. But only if you're comfortable with it, and not because Yoongi is in over his head."

Hoseok felt some of the pressure lift off his chest. "Okay." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Look, I don't know if this will even happen today, let alone when. So I might be busy when you come home."

"Don't worry, love. I'll take the other boys out for dinner. We'll get our time with you later this week." Hoseok could hear the happiness in his tone, but he didn't dwell on it. Those feelings would have to wait a few days. They said their goodbyes and hung up with Hobi feeling a bit lighter. But he'd be lying if he said Jin had alleviated all his worries. 

He had permission now, but that didn't mean that he would be able to do. 

Hoseok had never been with another omega before, let alone a woman. And he knew Yoongi said it wasn't fucking, but was still intimate and sexual, and he didn't think he had any idea what to do down there, with you. He knew you weren't that different, but you were different enough for him to feel scared.

But even that wasn't the real issue that he was afraid of facing. Hoseok cared for you deeply. He wouldn't say it to your face because he's just not serious like that, but he could even think he loved you. Maybe not quite in a paternal way, but as a mentor, an older brother; as someone whose job it was to teach you about life. He didn't want to see you as an object of attraction. He didn't want to acknowledge how his heart fluttered yesterday as you tried on outfit after outfit, or how his breath catches when he sees you really smile, much less how fucking good you smell during your heat, when your scent coats the back of his throat, or how sexy your lips looked touching Yoongi's fingers this morning. Hobi wasn't ready to be attracted to you or in love with you. It wasn't on his list of things to do with you.

Footsteps on the stairs pulled Hoseok from his thoughts, and he looked up to see Jimin round the corner with his phone to his ear, giving him a remorseful look. He took his cue to go upstairs and check on how things were going. It had been about an hour since he'd left your room, and he wondered if something had happened. He opened the door quietly and poked his head in.

"Is everything okay?" He asked. 

Yoongi's attention snapped from the phone in his hand to the omega. "Yeah, fine. I was just about to text you. Jimin had to take a call from work, and I really have to go to the bathroom. Would you mind staying with her for a few minutes? She's asleep, but I don't want her to wake up alone."

"Of course. No problem," Hobi nodded. Normally, for him, there were enough packmates that he would never be left alone. Not that he couldn't be left alone, but it was a bit distressing, particularly during the headier moment of heat, to find oneself all alone. And given that this was your first heat in a while to not spend alone—your first one to spend with them—it made sense that Yoongi wouldn't want to leave you in your own. It would cause him a different kind of distress to do so. 

Yoongi gently rolled you off of his chest so that you lay on your back and he could free his arm. He got up quietly and quickly left the room. When you were alone, you rolled into your other side and whimpered softly. You bent one leg up towards your body, while the other one stuck straight out toward Hobi. He couldn't help but be fascinated by your little feet. They seemed too small to be able to carry you through the world, yet their wear and callouses showed they worked hard to do just that. Seeing how tiny they were reminded him of how quietly you moved through the house. He was still trying to learn the sounds of your footsteps and of your breathing so that he'd be able to recognize you just by that, the way he could the rest of his pack.

It wasn't a secret even though he was trying to hide it, that Hobi already thought of you as his. He'd waited a long time for an omega like you. Someone like him that he could share this pack with, through its highs and lows and day to days. 

He didn't realize he was holding onto your foot, stoking his thumb over the bulge of your ankle, until you spoke his name. 

"Hobi?" You asked, voice gravelly and thick with sleep. 

"It's just me, pup," he nodded. 

You looked around at your surroundings and noticed he was right. It was just him and you. The air around you felt cold, sending goosebumps down your arms despite your internal heat. You weakly raised a hand toward him. "Will you come lay with me?"

Hoseok swallowed and stood up slowly to walk to the edge of the bed on the side Jimin took. When he looked in your eyes, they were clearer than they had been this morning. He stood silently, looking at you, for a long moment before either of you spoke. "I've never been in your nest before, pup."

"I'm inviting you in now. Please come lay down," you said so softly he could barely hear it. 

But he took it genuinely and climbed in over the perimeter to where you laid. He settled several inches from you, but you scooted closer, forcing him to hold you. He knew you'd never do that if you weren't in your current condition, but he didn't refuse you. Instead, he managed to get one arm under your head while the other stroked up and down your back. You pressed your head into his chest and breathed in deep. 

"Have I ever told you how much I love your scent?" You asked. He shook his head, unable to form words around the sudden tightness in his chest, as if his heart and lungs were too big for his ribcage. "It's so warm and comforting to me. Your scent is on every surface in this house, and it smells like love."

Your voice was so dreamy, Hobi wasn't sure if you knew what you were saying, but it filled him with warmth regardless, and his scent fluffed around you. Your hands fisted around his shirt, and you buried your face in him. He liked you like this, uninhibited, taking what you wanted and needed without feeling shy. It was easy to wrap his arms around you and hold you closer. He could only hope you felt as safe with him as you truly were.

Yoongi returned pleasantly surprised to find both of his omegas tangled up in your nest. You had already fallen back asleep and Hobi appeared to be studying every hair on your head. His eyes turned up to meet Yoongi's and the alphas wide smile broke across his face. 

"You certainly made yourself at home," Yoongi teased as he closed the door. 

"She invited me."

"I know you wouldn't be here if she hadn't." 

"What are you looking at?" Hoseok asked when Yoongi continued to stare.

"Just enjoying this moment. Jin would be so jealous if he knew what I had all to myself right now."

Hobi rolled his eyes. "It's not a competition."

"We're alphas. It's always a competition."

Yoongi placed his knees behind your back and leaned over you to kiss Hoseok. The omega's lips were dry, but Yoongi licked across them and they parted, letting him deepen the kiss. 

Hoseok chuckled and pulled back as much as he could in his position. "What are you doing?"

Yoongi shrugged and moved to lay behind you. "Just telling you I love you." He laid his hand on the curve of your side. "She idolizes you, you know?"

Hoseok's eyes widened. "I don't think so."

"She does. She talks about the things you teach her and tell her, like you're some revered master. She wants your approval. Even more than I think she wants mine." Yoongi's eyes roamed over your body, wondering if you heard them. 

"It's not about my approval," Hobi whispered. 

"I know that. She said to me a few weeks ago that she wants to be good so she can stay. I think she's starting to get that there isn't anything she can do that will make me send her away. But she is afraid of disappointing you. I know she isn't perfect, but don't be too hard on her, please?" Yoongi locked eyes with him, and Hobi could see his sincerity in those depths. 

"Tae mentioned earlier that she makes him feel lucky, I guess because even if he lost his family, he still knew them, and he learned enough from them not to let the world get him down. She doesn't have that. I don't want her to be exactly like me. I just don't want her to be all the things they've made her believe she is. It hurts too much. And if it hurts me, with all the advantages I have, I can't possibly imagine how much damage it does to her," Hobi concluded. He gently brushed hair out of your face with the lightest of touches, relieved to see that you were still soundly asleep. 

Before Yoongi could find any way to respond, the door opened once again and Jimin entered.

"Is everything okay?" Yoongi asked.

"Everything is fine. Just some alphas who need to work their shit out, but it's not my problem today, and that's what I told them." Jimin climbed over the chest at the end of the bed and up to the perimeter of your nest. 

"They gave you a hard time?"

Jimin shook his head. "Taehyung on the other hand…well he's getting very sweaty in the backyard right now, and it was a little distracting," he giggled.

"I'm sorry for taking your spot, but I dont think I'm allowed to move," Hobi said without an ounce of remorse.

Jimin shrugged as he moved over the perimeter and laid at the bottom of your nest. "I'm fine right here."

Alpha.

You'd been asleep for a long time. It was your primary mechanism for getting through your heats when you couldn't avoid them. If you were sleeping, you might have bad dreams, but you could avoid the physical sensations associated with your condition. Your sleep since last night had been relatively peaceful, which you could only contribute to the soothing scents of your pack and even hobi, which surrounded you as you slept. But now Yoongi was missing from your nest, and you needed him. 

Not just needed him there, but you needed him. 

Need alpha's knot now. Please. Your tiny voice in your head begged. You could feel it, the ache between your legs. You could feel the thick, warm slick leaking from you, ready and waiting for your alpha to give you what was yours.

"Alpha," you whined brokenly, alerting the others that you were awake. You had begun to murmur his name a little while ago, seeking him out with your hands and your mouth before you were conscious enough to make a real effort. Hoseok could see that you were now. "Where's alpha," you cried.

"I'm over here, princess," Yoongi breathed from the chair in the corner where he sat, apart from you, but still keeping watch. 

"In the nest," you whined. 

"I can't be with you right now. I'm sorry," he told you. If you were fully yourself, you'd be able to hear the regret in his voice, but you didn't. 

"Why? Give me a knot, alpha. Promise I'll be good. Just need your knot."

Yoongi's hands gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white. "I wish I could, baby." You began to cry, and the sight of your tears made him ache in a way so much stronger than the strain in his muscle to keep himself off of you. He knew it would be hard to deny himself, but he didn't know how hard it would be to deny you. "Hobi, Jimin, please," he croaked.

Suddenly a hand on your ankle grabbed your attention. You looked down and could make out Jimin's face through your tears.

"It's okay, sweet thing. Hobi and I are going to make you feel better," he said soothingly.

"Alpha…doesn't want me."

A growl came low from Yoongi's corner, but you didn't get a chance to look in his direction because another hand was holding your face and demanding your gaze. 

"That isn't true," Hobi said firmly. "Your alpha wants you too much for his own good. But he's doing this for you. He cares for you so much, he doesn't want to hurt you. You'll understand when this is all over."

If possible, your features turned even more sad. "When will it be over?" You rasped.

He wiped away your tears with his thumbs. "Hold on for me a while longer, little one. Can Jimin and I help you?" 

"Help?"

"We can help make the aching go away. But you have to stop crying first," he told you softly as he continued to dry your cheeks.

You sniffed and scrunched your face, as if you were physically shutting off the tears. Your eyes finally cleared and you looked at Hobi expectantly. "I'll do anything."

He smiled as if he were amused and kissed your cheek. "Good girl. We're gonna make you feel nice and full, okay?"

You gave a muted squeak of excitement. "First let Jimin take off your shorts, okay?" 

You nodded and laid back on the nest. Hobi moved away from you, which startled you at first, but Jimin distracted you with his hands, gliding them smoothly up your legs from your ankles to your hips. He hovered over you to capture your mouth with a kiss. His lips were warm and wet. His kiss wasn't shy or chaste, but messy and ravenous as he licked into your mouth. His fingers dug into your thighs as you kissed him back. You lifted your hips up when he gripped your waistband and pulled the shorts down your legs without taking his mouth from yours. Meanwhile, Hoseok got up to grab the smaller of the two fake knots they had prepared for you. When he returned, Jimin redirected his mouth to your neck, giving you soft sucking kisses.

"Okay, little one." He held the plug in front of your face. "This little knot is all yours. I'll help you put it in, and you can keep it as long as you want."

He could see you were a little confused. You looked to your alpha, who was still holding himself back, but looked a little more at ease. Instead of digging into the upholstery, he held his fist around the pair of shorts Jimin had tossed his way.

"Go on, princess. Let alpha see how pretty you look when you're full," he said, his voice coming from deep in his gut. 

"Let us see, sweet thing," Jimin hummed in your ear. "You'll feel so nice."

You turned your eyes to Hoseok and nodded your consent.

"If you want a knot, you'll have to ask for it, pup," he said evenly. He was teasing, but he also wanted to make sure you really wanted it.

"Please, please give me a knot," you begged pitifully, rubbing your thighs together as you continued to ache for it. "I need to feel it. Please."

Jimin lapped hungrily at the scent gland under your chin while Hobi moved to your lower half. "You've never smelled sweeter, sweet thing. I wanna eat you up," Jimin teased, making you giggle, distracting you from Hoseok prying your legs apart.

Hoseok can say unequivocally that he's never been this close to a pussy in his life—with the singular exception of when he was born. He was surprised to find himself thinking how cute you are. Your sweet little hole didn't really look like his, but you were just as wet and messy and sweet as he gets. Your labia were puffy and he was sure they ached to feel relief. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he dared to touch his fingers to the rim of your entrance. At the lightest pressure, you clenched around nothing, and Hoseok felt the most unexpected shock of arousal ring through him. He didn't need to think before he pushed the tips of his two middle fingers inside of you. It might be more prudent to start with one, but you were in heat and you were more than ready to take him.

Your answering moan filled the room, and Hoseok was glad that Jin took the others out for dinner because you sounded so heavenly, he didn't think the three of them would be able to stop the other four from barging in.

"Such a pretty sound for me, baby," Jimin cooed while Yoongi melted in his chair, wishing he could be closer, but so happy to hear you were being pleased. 

Hoseok pushed one more finger past your slick walls and nearly moaned himself when he felt you squeeze around him.

"You're doing great, little one," he praised as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you, feeling your muscles loosen little by little. "Are you ready to take your knot, pup?" He asked when he felt like you'd opened up enough. He took your garbled moan and the way you clenched as a yes.

Hobi spread some of your slick from his fingers onto the plug, though it was hardly necessary. Your hole was dripping with it, and he had felt you gush onto his hand before. He looked up to see your face.

"It might hurt for a second, little one. Tell me to stop if you want me to stop," he instructed, and you nodded your head.

Jimin trailed his mouth down to your breast, pulling down your top to expose a perky little nipple, which he sucked into his mouth. Hobi rubbed the head of the plug over your entrance to coat it with your slick before he slowly pushed it inside of you. Your moans were deep and throaty, and he had to bite back his own arousal as your walls closed in around the silicone head. Despite his fears of hurting you, the toy slid in easily until it was buried fully inside you. It wasn't as long as a real knot, and it didn't have quite the same girth as your alpha, but it fit snugly within your walls, and he could tell it was doing just what they'd wanted when you let out a happy sigh.

Hoseok came to lie at your side and turned your face so he could see your eyes. They were fully glassy and happy as they rolled to look at him. Your debauched expression threatened to steal the better part of his sanity.

"How does that feel, little one?" He breathed. 

"So full," you answered and your body wriggled beneath them, but there seemed to be some words hanging, left unsaid, but Hoseok didn't quite know what.

"You can touch yourself, if you want to, sweet thing," Jimin rasped in your ear.

Don't you dare.

You shut your eyes tight and shook your head. "Can't," you hiccuped. 

Understanding dawned on Hoseok and he touched your face. "Look at me," he ordered and you obeyed. "You're doing so well, little one. Such a good little omega for us. You can do it."

You shook your head again. "Can't. Bad," you choked out. "Bad."

"No, pup."

"Let me in," Yoongi said, suddenly standing over Hoseok's shoulder.

"Yoongi…"

"I'm not going to do anything I said I wouldn't," Yoongi argued, but his eyes were locked with yours. "Let me hold her." 

"Alpha," you whispered, holding a hand out to him, and Hobi had no choice but to relinquish his spot beside you, though he didn't move far.

"I've got you, princess," he soothed when he was pressed to your side with one arm behind your head. "Does it feel good to be so filled up?"

You nodded your head into him, seeking out his neck and his thick scent. But he wouldn't let you turn into him. 

"I know, baby. You were made for this. Your body does it so well. But you don't feel totally better yet, do you, princess?"

"No."

Yoongi smiled and kissed your forehead. Taking your hand he murmured, "here, let me show you. It's not bad. It will feel good. You've been so perfect, princess. I want you to feel the best you can."

With his hand covering yours, he guided you down between your legs. He brought your fingers far enough to feel the silicone base of the plug where it was buried inside of you.

"Do you feel that, baby? Alpha gave you that. Do you like it?" He purred in your ear. You whimpered and nodded your head, utterly incapable of forming words with the way his body, his scent and his voice wrapped around your being. 

Pulling your hand back just a little, he pressed your fingers to the puffy, sensitive flesh just above. You mewled in pleasure, moving your hips as you squeezed around the knot. He began to circle your fingers around your bud, appreciating the delicate sounds of satisfaction you made as he guided you. When you moaned, Jimin reclaimed your mouth with a kiss, claiming your sounds for his own. Yoongi left his hand on yours but let you set the pace while at the same time letting his other hand cup your breast, squeezing it harshly. Another set of hands—they must have been Hobi's—held your legs apart when they threatened close so that he could continue you watch as you pleasured yourself. When your moans got higher and he knew you were close, Yoongi pressed his fingers down on yours, adding pressure and ensuring you didn't give up until you reached completion.

"Almost there, princess. You've done so well for me. Come for me, and you can keep my knot in you as long as you want," he urged, and you followed where his words and fingers led you, over the edge and into a chasm of pleasure.

Watching you spasm around the knot took Hoseok's breath away. He'd never imagined or wondered what that might be like, but he thought it was beautiful. He wanted to give you orgasm after orgasm just to see your pussy take it again and again. Your legs wanted to close, and he let them. You curled into Yoongi, taking gasping breaths as he held you tightly to his chest and whispered soft praises. Jimin stroked his hand down your side and up again. 

By the time Hoseok had cleaned you up with a warm, wet cloth, you were falling asleep in Yoongi's arms once again, the plug still tucked safely away inside of you and a satisfied smile on your lips.

"I'll go get dinner ready. I'm guessing we're all pretty much starving," Hobi said softly, gathering a few things to take out with him to tidy up the place.

As he opened the door, Yoongi transfered you into Jimin's arms. Luckily, you didn't wake, and Yoongi followed the other omega into the hall. Hoseok was just entering your bathroom when Yoongi went in with him.

"What's wrong, Yoongi?" He asked, looking at him with startled eyes. The alpha was disheveled and his eyes were still dark with lust, something Hobi found irresistible.

"Nothing,"Yoongi breathed heavily. "I just wanted to say thank you. You didn't have to help, but you did, so thanks."

Hoseok smirked. "I didn't do it for you, alpha."

"I know. But I wouldn't have been able to get through it without you."

Hoseok's eyes grew darker, his smile more mocking. "Did you get through it, alpha? Looks like you're still pretty worked up to me." He trailed his fingers down Yoongi's chest. 

Yoongi's breath turned ragged as Hoseok stepped closer. "Can you blame me?"

"No. It was certainly eye opening," the omega purred. He gripped the front of Yoongi's shirt and pulled him closer. Their lips crashed as he shut the bathroom door. 

Yoongi's hands went to the other man's hair as he was pushed against the door. Hobi's teeth nipped the white flesh of yoongi's neck as he palmed fervently at his thick knot, trapped uncomfortably in the confines of his gray sweatpants.

"It's cruel, you know, to flaunt a knot like that in front of an omega."

"I don't need to flaunt anything to drive you crazy, do I, Hobi?"

"You think I'm worked up because of you?" He chuckled and pulled Yoongi's cock free. "Think again, buddy."

"Are you into my omega?" Yoongi smiled against his lips. Nimble fingers pulled a sigh from him. 

"I've certainly been into her more than you have."

Yoongi threw his head back with a short laugh. "Trying to make me jealous?"

"Would that get you to shut the hell up and fuck me?"

Yoongi turned the omega around and pinned him to the wall. "That's what you want, omega? Should make you beg for my knot, huh?"

"I'm not opposed. Poor little thing doesn't know what she's missing, though," he smiled as Yoongi shoved down both their pants. "She's so small and tight, alpha. That plug isn't nearly as big as you. Wonder if she can take it."

"Maybe you can show her how to take it next time," Yoongi growled as his fingers found Hoseok's hole. "Fuck, you're wet."

"Not as wet as she was. The sweet little cunt on your omega. Never seen anything like it." A wordless growl echoed off the walls of the bathroom, answered by Hoseok's high pitched moans as Yoongi's fingers found the right spot. "Fuck! Enough. Want your knot alpha. Give me everything you can't give her."

"Don't want to hurt you," Yoongi said, voice gravelly. 

"You won't. I know I can take you. Need you, alpha."

Yoongi didn't waste a moment. He pulled Hoseok's hips out, forcing his chest down, so he could align himself at his wet, pink entrance. Once he entered him, he plunged into Hobi's depths with ease. The omega braced himself against the wall as his alpha set a brutal pace. His cries of pleasure were not quiet, but only you and Jimin were there to hear, and you were dead to the world. 

"Fuck, yes. Have to teach her to take you like this. Would you like that, alpha? Want me to teach her everything I know?"

"Ah," Yoongi groaned as Hobi clenched around him, his slick making a mess of them both and dripping down his legs. "Don't think she'd ever learn to talk like you. You've got a whore's mouth, you know that?"

"You love it."

"I do. Now shut the fuck up so I can come. I'm fucking close, baby." 

Hoseok stayed stone still while Yoongi pounded into him, burying himself to the hilt when his knot began to inflate and he came with tired breaths. 

"Are you okay, baby?" Yoongi asked, stroking down his omegas back as he waited. These moments when he connected to his mates were always the most clear, filled with tenderness and love, no matter what words or deeds had brought them there. 

"Feel perfect, Yoon. You always make me feel so good. Missed you." 

"I'm sorry. I know I've been distracted lately." He pressed a soft kiss to Hobi's spine as an apology. 

Hobi shook his head as he leaned heavily against the wall. "Didn't say it to make you feel sorry. It's been a while since we had a moment like that. Like that I can be free with you. Makes things so fun."

"We do tend to have fun," Yoongi agreed. "Come here," he said softly when his knot had deflated. He brought Hoseok to the edge of the bathtub and began to fill it with warm water. Then he helped him in and got in behind him, letting the omega lay his back against his chest. 

"You don't have to stay here with me. I know you're probably anxious to get back to her," Hobi told him after they'd been sitting in the water for a few minutes.

"I am, but I'm not anxious to leave you. The truth is, I've missed you too. I know things never quite went back to usual and now, things will never be the way they were. I feel a little…guilty." Yoongi cupped water in his hand and let it wash down his lover's chest. 

"Don't. It's true, she'll change everything. But everything wasn't so good. Maybe it was a change we needed. I believe it will be for the best, in the end."

Yoongi hummed. "I also feel guilty because I won't be there for your heat."

"I know," Hobi answered, dragging his fingers up the legs that encircled him. "It's not a big deal. I have everyone else. It's not a big thing to me anymore. You need to focus on her."

"I love you, you know that?" 

"I do. And I love you too."

After quickly washing, the pair left the tub, lingering a bit longer over each other's bodies as they dried off before they fetched new pajamas. 

"Go on and be with her," Hoseok told him at the top of the stairs. "I'm gonna go put together something to eat, and I'll be there soon."

Yoongi slipped back into your room, quickly meeting the eyes of a very smug looking Jimin. 

"What?"

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Jimin asked as he petted down your arm. 

Yoongi scoffed. "Did you? Why are you both shirtless? Is she still asleep?" 

You moaned and turned a fraction toward his voice as he climbed back into the nest. 

"She took her shirt off herself and it seemed rude not to join her. She gave me a couple hickies, too, so now we really match. Isn't that right, sweet thing?" Jimin asked with a light pinch to your side. 

You giggled softly. "Mini nice."

"What did you do to her?" Yoongi asked with a smile as you turned to him with a bright, if dazed, one of your own. 

"Nothing. It's just the hormones. She seems to be enjoying all the touching."

You managed to move onto your knees, tottering a bit when the plug moved, but you kept it from slipping out. "No," you said with a cute but firm pout as you tugged at the hem of Yoongi's shirt. 

"You want my shirt off, too, princess?" Yoongi asked innocently. You nodded and continued to pull. "That's no problem." He tugged the garment over his head and threw it onto the chest where your extra blankets were stored. Then he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you against him. "Better?"

You nodded and maneuvered yourself into his lap, pushing him into a reclining position with you on his chest. 

"My alpha," you whispered after you rested your cheek against his shoulder. Yoongi's heart stuttered, feeling at once the weight and the joy of the trust you placed in him.

Fool. You let them make you feel safe. But they're just preparing you to breed. They'll need to know if you can handle it. Why else would Hobi be there? He needs a baby, and he's going to get it from you. 

You had awoken to a dark room. Your packmates slept beside you. Only a few hours ago had they decided they were ready to sleep and helped you get cleaned and ready for a good night's sleep. You'd kept the plug in for hours until you felt truly sated. But already you were feeling the emptiness ache at you. Your voices had no problem filling the void. 

Would that be the worst thing? I need it. Need alpha.

And when you fail? Will he still be your good alpha then? Or worse, what if you die this time?

"Stop it. Shut up!" You called out without thinking.

Yoongi, who had turned on his side away from you, flipped over in an instant. "What's wrong? What happened?" 

To his horror, you pulled away, just like you did your first time with them, until you collided with Jimin on your other side. "What do you want?"

Yoongi's voice softened in the darkness, although you couldn't see more than a shadowy figure. "Nothing, princess. Just want to make sure you're okay. Did you have a nightmare?"

"No."

A light clicked on behind you. Yoongi's features were soft but full of worry. He held his hands open to show you he wasn't a threat. But the dissonance of the danger your mind wanted you to fear and the gentle man in front of you made your head buzz. You struggled to make sense of what was real and what was your imagination. Was it possible that Yoongi was truly a good man who kept his promises and wouldn't hurt you? Or were your voices correct, warning you that his behavior was all to lure you into security so he could do what he wanted with you? Sometimes, your own brain could be your biggest enemy, but there was no denying that it often tried to keep you out of danger as well. 

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder, followed by soft lips on your warm back. You jerked away, scrambling backward and almost over the edge of the bed. Yoongi caught onto the only part of you he could reach, your leg, to keep you from falling. In the light, he could see that your eyes were the clearest they had been all day, and yet they were full of fear. Fear of them. He let go of you immediately. 

"Baby, everything is okay. You're safe. You're at home with us," he tried to ground you with his voice, afraid that touching you would make things worse. 

He could do it now. He'll push you down into the mattress and make you submit. And then he'll–

Yoongi watched you close your eyes as you tried to shut out the voices. He gotten better at recognizing when they filled your mind and confused you with paranoid thoughts. 

"Princess, listen to my voice." You opened your eyes to peer at him, and your gaze was heartbreaking. "I'm here, not them. They're only in your head. Tell me what they're saying."

Your lips trembled as you hesitated. It was the same thing he had heard a dozen times. The same thing you thought about every day. You didn't want to tell him again, but his words were a command, and you couldn't resist giving him an answer. 

"You're–" Your voice cracked from so much disuse and you cleared it to begin again. "You're making me f-feel safe but really y-you're preparing to breed me again."

Yoongi frowned but tried to squash his disappointment. He wanted nothing more than for you to trust him. He thought he'd done everything to prove he was worth it. But he should have known trauma wasn't so easy to erase. After all, it was the family that raised for sixteen years that first taught you to be wary of security. He took a steadying breath and looked you in the eye. 

"I made you a promise, Y/N. It was my first promise and I won't break it. Have I given you any reason to think I would?" You shook your head without hesitation. "Do you trust me?"

You wanted to. You were almost certain you did. You nodded your head. 

"Good. You can trust me. I know that these voices have tried to keep you safe in the past, based on your experiences. But this is not your past. It won't be the same, and if you trust me, you need to believe that."

You thought about his words for a moment, and they felt right. The past few weeks were like nothing you had experienced ever in your life. There had been so much safety, and honesty, and affection that it looked like something out of a fantasy. And maybe that's what made it so hard to believe in, but you knew that it was real. Yoongi was real, while the malicious whispers in your head were only that. They were less than air. 

Suddenly, you crawled forward, straight into Yoongi's chest. You felt his arms wrap around you immediately and began to weep. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I got confused. Don't be mad," you cried into the shelter of his body.

He shushed you as he held you tight, rubbing circles on your lower back with a firm hand. "It's okay, princess. I told you that I would always tell you what's real. What you feel now, my arms around you. This is real. Out here is real. Everything is okay."

Yoongi let you cry yourself out on his chest, unbothered by his damp shirt. Jimin cuddled close, too, wrapping an extra arm around your trembling figure to shield you from any more worry, if only for tonight.

A/n: Wow. It's been like, over a year since I wrote any smut, and I've been very anxious about it. I would love to hear any small thing you liked about any of this chapter. I think Hobi was the shining star of her heat, tbh. I love him an indescribable about.

Permanent taglist: @lilacdreams-00  @wholockian1 @babycoffeefire @bri-mal @jikooksgirl19 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @marvelfamily3000 @borahae-reads @yoongiigolden   @staerryminimini @valhallawhispers @m4gg13-g @i-have-no-life-charlie @hellokittiesxbae @pamzn @skyys-universe @nicholedobre-blog

Taglist: @ellesalazar @rinkud @osakis-gf @scuzmunkie @queen-in-the-shadows @toughbook @btskzfav @chansbaybygirl @cryingpages @alex--awesome--22 @singukieee @welcometomyworld13 @juju-227592 @bangtanflirt @wittyreader @nyrovieeie @welcome418 @lifeistooshorttowasteyourtime @moon-cupcakes @passionandsuga @m0v3m3ntsblog @kykyxstandler @ladyalicesbookstore @yoonseokerist @deejay08 @momoasenthusiasticreader @littlestarstinyseven @bittersweetbaylee @im-sinking-in-mud @iloverubberduckiez-blog @someshinesomedont @kungsoonie

#bts fanfic #bts abo #bts omegaverse #bts poly ot7 #bts ot7 x reader #bts yoongi #bts hoseok #bts jin #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bts namjoon #bts a/b/o #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #bts x reader #bts fic #bts fan fiction #bts series #bts poly au #bts alphas #bts #lone wolf

[madschiavelique]

Hi! This is my first request, sorry if it isn’t that coherent. Is it cool if I send a hurt/comfort drabble request with gn reader x Miguel?

Maybe something where an enemy takes advantage of Miguel’s lack of spider sense and is severely injured to the point where he can’t keep up his tough exterior anymore. He’d probably dread how vulnerable the situation made him and would want the reader beside him for the next mission, as some kinda filler spider sense after he recovers (or just has them there for comfort but doesn’t wanna admit it LOL)

hiya anon !! this was coherent don't worry hehehe

summary : miguel gets severely injured on a mission and wants you by his sides for all the upcoming ones

content warnings : blood, cuts, miguel almost dying (he doesn't dw), flangst (?), this turns sweet, no use of Y/N, gender neutral!reader word count : 2,2k

tag list : @fandom-ash

Miguel found himself alone on the field. This wasn't usually a problem, as the number of individual missions he'd carried out before forming his entire Spider Society was vast. It hadn't always been easy, of course, but he'd always managed to pull himself up, like a true Spider-Man would.

The rain clattered against the pixels of his suit, thunder rumbling between the dark clouds where skyscrapers sank like daggers into a black cotton belly.

He was out of breath, the anomaly he was facing was the typical weak point of his mutation: it was invisible, and extremely fast, which didn't help as Miguel's Spidersenses were profoundly insignificant, or even to put it simply: non-existent.

If he could get a visual on his target, everything would be perfectly fine. He could carry out his mission like the usual without a care. But invisible? That was undoubtedly his Achilles' heel in anomalies.

His hand was pressed against one of his bleeding sides as he stood breathless on a rooftop. The anomaly kept using its invisibility and speed to make unpredictable sprints to cut him from side to side.

He muttered an insult under his breath, his shoulders, arms and legs riddled with cuts of varying depths that were causing severe pain all over his body.

The anomaly was taunting him, laughing at one corner and then the next second calling out from another. The situation was becoming far too complex, and he could feel that the loss of blood from his body was starting to have an impact, weakening him enormously in this fight. It was more than a weakness actually, it was a real danger.

His eyes were looking in all directions, turning in on himself. Silence and the inability to know where his enemy was had never frightened him so much. He knew very well that the invisible things were just as dangerous as the visible ones, if not more so.

You don't always see love when it's coming, and you sometimes fail to recognise death when it arrives.

Call for help? Yes, perhaps that would be best, no matter how proud he was and how independent he wanted to be. Trying to regain a less shaky breath, he swallowed as he brought his lips to his watch:

"Lyla call the-" but he was cut off instantly by the anomaly that came at him in a flash, slicing into the back of his leg with such power that he fell to his knees with a grunt. The puddle into which he had fallen became darker, the red of his blood mingling with it under the light of one of the neon advertisements on an adjacent building.

He groaned in frustration, bringing the watch up to his mouth again.

"Lyla-" he breathed a little louder, but the anomaly cracked the silence with a high-pitched laugh as he cut into his back with a straight, deep line of his own.

Miguel arched his back, a growl mingling with a cry of desperation and terrible frustration as he lay on the ground.

Was it the rain, or was his vision becoming blurry ?

The anomaly materialised before his tired eyes, kneeling beside him, tilting its head to one side.

"All so," he laughed horribly, "big and strong and muscular." the anomaly grabbed his arm evilly, squeezing his hand over a cut that was burning hellishly, and Miguel let out screams through his teeth.

"But I'll tell you something, big buy," the anomaly said simply, moving a little closer to Miguel, who was beginning to find it harder and harder to stay awake. "In the end, we're all made of flesh that can be cut, and bones that can be broken."

He held up his knife, which the raindrops were cleaning of Miguel's blood, still glued to the blade. He then placed it against Miguel's cheek, his vision completely blurred.

"Lyla," he whispered, barely audible, using what little strength he had left to cry out for help.

He saw the knife rise, thinking to himself, this is it, it's over, he thought.

He murmured something, just something ? No, it was more important than that. He murmured your name.

He wanted, no, needed to see you now. Hear your voice, see you once more before… he just needed you by his side.

He felt so lonely.

He could’ve chosen anyone to be by his sides, heck someone was literally by his side at the moment and it was an anomaly, so he wasn’t exactly alone. But still, still, he wanted you.

The knife elevated, ready to strike him down, the sound of the anomaly’s laughter echoing in his mind in a numb way. And that’s when he saw a bright orange in the reflection of the bloody puddle, and lost consciousness.

He awoke in the infirmary, his eyes gradually adjusting to the whitish light. The aseptic air caught his nostrils, his lips were dry and a slight headache tugged at his skull.

He was lying on a stretcher in a position somewhere between sitting up and lying down. As he tried to straighten up, he was immediately stopped by an intense pain, and immediately tensed up.

"Hey hey hey, easy, easy."

He knew that voice, very, very well indeed. He opened his eyes again, slowly.

You were there, at his bedside, just above him to make sure he didn't try to get up again. He inhaled slowly, breathing hurt a little, and he wrinkled his nose in pain.

"How long was I out?" he asked, his first thought always remaining on the subject of organisation.

"Three days," you replied, standing next to him, arms folded.

"Three d-!" but the rise in his tone made his whole chest ache.

"Hey shh shh shh," you soothed, coming to rest your hand on his cheek to provide a point of anchorage for him in the middle of all of this pain.

"Three days," he breathes against your touch as he squirmed around trying to find a comfortable position without feeling like his whole body was on fire. "It's too much wasted time, I have to go back-"

"You're not going back anywhere for a little while, Miguel." you cut, voice calm.

"But I have to-" his breath came a little sharper.

"Miguel, you're not going to do anything at all except rest." you reiterated.

"Listen to me-"

"No, you listen to me," you interjected this time in a much less calm and more strict tone, which surprised him enough to stop him from continuing to fidget and breathe almost frantically. "You had a near-death experience, Miguel," your words were categorical. "And I refuse to allow you to not recover from that properly just so you can kill yourself at work instead, because... fuck, I was so scared." your voice had trailed off on the last word, broken.

Your eyes avoided his, looking up at the ceiling, biting your lip as your gaze fell back on the countless cuts he had strewn across his body. Your hand, previously on his cheek, came to rest beside him on the stretcher.

And you could feel his eyes on you, expecting your next words.

"When Lyla appeared to us... I had never seen her so serious and anxious at the same time. I have always seen her as playful and," a sigh, "sassy. But then, what she said made my heart drop," you admitted, looking him in the eye, trying to articulate.

A tear rolled down your cheek, and you immediately brushed it away, trying to pull yourself together.

"When we arrived, you were in an indescribable state, you were motionless... gosh Miguel I've never wished so much to see someone make just one movement," you breathed in, wiping away the other hot tears that wanted to flow further down your cheeks. "You can't imagine the relief I felt when they stabilised your state."

He looked at you, lips parted as he listened intently. And he thought of how he had wished you in death to bring him life and how you had wished him in life to stay away from death.

"I stayed, you know? By your side. Days, nights, whenever I could," you smiled, a small breath living your lips as you sniffed.

His heart was overflowing with emotions, all the sensations and thoughts that had taken hold of him during his confrontation with the anomaly coming back vividly to his mind, and yet he felt it all squeezed into his chest.

"I..." his voice grew small, and he swallowed to try and make his throat more cooperative to make the lump that was forming in it disappear.

"I thought... I'd never get to see you again," he admitted, inhaling softly.

His hand came to rest on yours, his fingers gently caressing your skin as you took it in yours.

"I..." his eyes were veiled by a curtain of tears that stung his nose, and he bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at your hands interlaced.

He thought back to the rain that kissed him goodbye, to the thunder that rumbled through the dark clouds as if to lecture him, to the feel of the sharp blade on his skin and the life that was gradually leaving him. But above all he remembered his vulnerability, and the possibility that this moment might be his last.

"It was so cold... I just," a tear finally rolled down his cheek, "I just wanted you to be here," his eyes returned to yours, "with me."

You could see it in his eyes, the fear, the dread that something like this could happen again. You bit your lip, your chin trembling as you gripped his hand a little tighter in yours.

"I need you by my side," he declared.

Your free hand gently wiped the tears from his cheeks, his lids closing.

"I will be by your side," you whispered, "I will protect you."

He breathed in gently, his eyes meeting yours again.

"From now on, everywhere I'll go, you'll go with me," he concluded, and you squeezed his hand in yours again.

"I'll go with you," you agreed, wiping the last tear from your cheek, the salts of your two cries combining on the back of your hand like an oath.

Miguel had recovered well. At first he'd inevitably flinched at the fact that he'd let everything be controlled by someone other than himself, but in the end he'd let it slide.

You came to visit him every day, not only to make your report but also simply to spend time with him. You always brought him empanadas from the cafeteria, knowing how much he loved them. It has to be said that if there was one thing you could often bribe Miguel on, it was empanadas. That and maybe stroking his hair...

When he finally came out of the infirmary, a tiny celebration was held. He didn't like the idea at all, but you knew deep down that the intention behind it warmed his heart.

Life went back to what it used to be, with of course a slight change that surprised everyone.

As agreed, wherever he went, you went. Every spiderperson in the Society had obviously noticed the sudden change. From one day to the next, Miguel couldn't go anywhere without you by his side.

You went on walks with him in the park, you would always eat with him at the cafeteria, you were in his office whenever he was, and it felt to most spiders now that you two would eternally be inseparable.

The time finally came for Miguel to go on a mission, where you would work with him to catch the anomaly but above all to lend him your Spidersenses, which were working to the highest perfection.

The portal formed in front of you, Miguel tensing slightly. You put your hand on one of his shoulders and he turned to you.

"It's okay, I'm here" you remarked.

This simple fact lifted a weight from his shoulders as if by magic. He smiled at you before you put your mask on, his own mask pixelating on his face, and you stepped through the portal.

You reached a rooftop, the gate closing behind you. Silence fell and Miguel tensed. He had no idea where the danger might be coming from.

"Hey, look at me," you said simply.

He turned to you, still as uptight as ever.

"Just breath okay?"

He breathed in gently, relaxing his shoulders as he listened, a little more reassured by your simple presence.

You waited patiently, not moving an inch. And what if you couldn't feel certain sensations either?

But he had nothing to worry about, because you immediately took him by the arm and drew him against the wall of the roof exit, pressing your body against his as next to you a kind of big multicoloured puddle burst violently onto the ground right where you previously were.

He was breathing heavily, his back pressed against the wall, while you were as calm as when you had arrived. His head turned towards yours, your two masked faces immensely close.

"I meant it when I said I would protect you."

He chuckled.

Wherever you go, I'll go with you.

#madschiavelique ⟢ ݁ ˖‧˚₊ ☁︎ #mads' requests ⟢ ݁ ˖‧˚₊ ☁︎ #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x gender neutral reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara one shot #miguel o'hara across the spiderverse #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel x you #miguel x y/n #atsv miguel #miguel atsv #atsv #atsv x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse

[thechanelmuse]

How to Get a Menacing Bully to Spiral & Destroy Their Reputation and Brand 😮‍💨

Back in 2021, I reviewed The 48 Laws of Power. One of my favorites. As stated then, it's a well-researched “handbook on the art of indirection” that’s filled with stories and strategies on how societies, groups and individuals throughout history to the present-day have navigated to obtain and/or maintain power. People consider this book to be evil if you're viewing it from a perspective of offense. But if you're an observant and analytical person like myself, you'll simultaneously view it from a perspective of defense on how to protect yourself from someone else's power.

Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" to unbothered silence and Nicki Minaj's 3-day unhinged crash out is a perfect 48 Laws of Power moment.

Megan epitomizes Law 4 and Nicki, who's always viewed herself as untouchable, superior to "her sons," and the self-proclaimed Queen of Rap, destroys Law 5.

Law 4: Always Say Less Than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

"Power is in many ways a game of appearances, and when you say less than necessary, you inevitably appear greater and more powerful than you are. Your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation; they have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal, they cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning.

"Your short answers and silences will put them on the defensive and they will jump in, nervously filling the silence with all kinds of comments that will reveal valuable information about them and their weaknesses. [...] In most areas of life, the less you say, the more profound and mysterious you appear. [...] Once the words are out, you cannot take them back. Keep them under control. The momentary satisfaction you gain with your biting words will be outweighed by the price you pay."

Law 5: So Much Depends On Reputation — Guard It With Your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power: through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once it slips however you are vulnerable and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Before I continue with more excerpts from this law, I wanna point out that Nicki's behavior and slander felt like a struggling display of an overt narcissist trying to discard their perceived enemy. People with that condition, lack empathy overall, spiral and lash out to end you emotionally and mentally when you publicly embarrass them and/or privately shut them out when you cause their mask to fall. Manic anger. Just keep that in mind.

More excerpts:

"A solid reputation increases your presence and exaggerates your strengths without your having to spend much energy. It can also create an aura around you that will instill respect, even fear.[...]

"Make your reputation simple and base it on one sterling quality. This single quality — efficiency, say, or seductiveness — becomes a kind of calling card that announces your presence and places others under a spell. [...] Perhaps you have already stained your reputation, so that you are prevented from establishing a new one. In such cases it is wise to associate with with someone whose image counteracts your own, using their good name to whitewash and elevate your own.

"Once [your reputation] is solid, do not let yourself get angry or defensive at the slanderous comments of your enemies—that reveals insecurity, not confidence. Take the high road instead, and never appear desperate in your self-defense.

"You must not seem to engage in petty 😏 vengeance. If you do not break your enemy's reputation cleverly, you will inadvertently ruin your own."

Emotions cloud reason while silence is golden.

Nevermind that Nicki emboldened her cult following of fans to dox Erykah Badu, Victoria Monét, Lil Ju (Megan's producer), the resting place of Megan's mother 🪦, and anyone who verbalized or appeared to be on opposition... There's a whole chapter in this book on cults: Law 27.

Checkmate, Megan.

#megan thee stallion #hiss #nicki minaj #big foot #48 laws of power #robert greene

[a-not-so-clean-blog]

Venom

Miguel O'Hara x addicted gn reader

Warnings: Blowjob (Miguel reviving), rough, withdrawal symptoms. Drug use (venom), no beta we die like men. "Pretty" used once but not in a gendered way.

2250 words

It was an accident; becoming addicted to him was never part of either of your plans, but yet, here you were. Sitting patiently on a plush chair, looking up at him like he was your whole world. At This point he might as well be, considering his venom was the only thing keeping you going.

Funny to think it was an accident that got you both into this situation, but we should probably start at the beginning.

You were your world's spider. Strong, smart, and fiercely impulsive. Good at getting out of a bad situation because you were prone to getting into bad situations. Great qualities for a hero, but this time they really got you in trouble.

Miguel was an amazing hero. Strong, stoic, and a heart of gold, even if he didn't like showing it. He was also the only spider that doesn't have a spidey sense. Not that you knew that when you were silently approaching him from behind.

His back heaved, and his breathing was labored. Clutching his shoulder like a wounded animal, complete with claws half extended. You stopped when you were close enough to see the slight tremble in his whole body. Every muscle tensed and ready to spring at a moment's notice.

“You okay?” Your voice was soft as you reached a hand out to check on him. The next thing you saw was a flash of red eyes and white fangs so fast you didn't even have time to react. He was too fast for you to even feel the pain of his fangs sinking into your shoulder. One of his hands tightly gripped your outstretched wrist while his other hand clutched the nape of your neck. From an outside perspective one could mistake the pose for a tango.

A cool tingling sensation spreads through your veins almost instantly, completely paralyzing you. Yet still even in such a vulnerable position your spidey sense never rang. Slowly his eyes faded from that unnatural glowing red to his normal rich brown. He released you the moment he realized what he had done.

“Lo siento mucho, no fue mi intención-” Panicked and rambling through what you assume is an apology you simply stood there; paralyzed and helpless. His eyes were locked on to where your neck meets your shoulder, never looking away from his crime, and never looking you in the eye.

You should have been scared. Worried or intimidated would have also been appropriate, but all you felt… was excitement.

The venom felt like pure euphoria under your skin. The bite felt hot but each heartbeat sent a cool rush of endorphins deeper into your body. Filling every vein, every muscle, just everything with that beautiful menthol chill. There were no thoughts because it felt like someone stuffed your head with cotton. Was this what his villains felt? This was far too good for them. You silently slipped into your own thoughts; becoming completely oblivious to anything but your own heartbeat.

By the time you regained consciousness and control of your body you had been left in a secluded area of the spider society. A to-go container was left on a stool with a water bottle. This was too little to be a bribe, maybe an apology? Slowly your head started to clear. You wish it hadn't. As the feelings of the venom had worn off, and the physical effects were starting to fade you were left feeling like hot garbage. This just left you alone with a throbbing pain in your shoulder and a strange sense of emptiness.

You hissed in pain when you absentmindedly touched the bite. “Ow! …” Even now your movements were sluggish. Like a marinette fighting against its strings. It's dangerous for a spider to be slow, that makes them easy to squish. Dangerous; that was definitely the look in his eyes. It was stupid to want to see them again, but yet…

You needed to talk to him.

He's been avoiding you. It's been almost two weeks and every time you caught sight of him he seemingly vanished into thin air. The only problem with trying to track another spider is that you are all notoriously slippery.

“Miguel.” He continues to walk away from you, never even sparing you a glance. “Miguel!” You yelled, gaining glances from the other spiders in the hallway, and finally making him stop. “We need to talk.”

His head dipped slightly as he grumbled out a “Fine.” before continuing forward. His pace was swift, not even caring if you kept up with him, and he only stopped when the two of you were in a secluded room. Free from any prying eyes he finally turned to face you, but it felt more like he was looking through you. “Talk.”

His voice was colder than his venom. Low and dark, but you couldn't feel any real malice behind it. “I need a favor…”

His eyes cast over you, looking for any sign of what you were about to ask. He looked almost like he was on edge. Understandable considering how much he does to keep the multiverse intact.

After a deep breath you finally spoke again. “I… I need another hit. I can't even shoot a web straight! God, if Hobie wasn't there on my last mission I would be a pavement pancake right now!” Your hands started shaking. No, your whole body started trembling. Withdrawal had been slowly eating away at you since the incident.

His brown eyes narrowed as he watched you struggle to keep yourself together, slowly working yourself up to a near breakdown. “I never meant to bite you. I'm sorry, but I won't do it again.”

“But-”

“That's final!” He snapped at you with a slight snarl. He let out a sigh when he saw the despair fall on your face. “I can find something else to help you. I'll make something if I have to, but my venom is too dangerous for even one bite.” You nodded slowly, not wanting to anger him again. With that he walked past you and out the door. “I'll call you when I get something.”

…But it didn't work.

Trial after trial, and batch after batch, but nothing helped. The withdrawal symptoms only got worse. Until finally you were bedridden with a fever and sweating bullets, completely unable to move without wanting to throw up.

Miguel entered your medical room. A range of emotions; hurt, disbelief, anger, and hopelessness, all flashed across your face in an instant before you pleaded. All he did was put his hand up and you stopped. He looked…hurt, but finally he gave in. You needed this, and he was the only one who could help you.

It was finally time for him to take responsibility.

He pulled up a chair next to your bed. “Give me your arm.” His voice was low and hesitant, and you eagerly complied. After a moment of contemplation he opened his mouth wide enough for you to glimpse those glorious fangs before they sank into your forearm.

Your eyes all but rolled back in your head as that long awaited rush of euphoria flooded your veins. “Nnnmm~” it was only a moment before he pulled himself away, but it was enough.

“...When I first bit you I had just taken a dose of my spider stimulant. Think of it like a steroid, but radioactive. This should be less potent than that.” You half listened to his explanation, not really caring what he said but loving the sound of his voice. It's not like you could respond because of the paralytic effect so he continues “I will take responsibility for this. I'll help you wean off of it.” You moved your eyes slightly towards him as he stood up. “Call me when you can.” And again he left you alone; paralyzed, but delighted.

After about a week your symptoms returned. Shaky hands and difficulty focusing being the first red flags prompting you to seek him out. Without question he followed through with his promise to help you. Every time he sunk his teeth into you felt just as good as the last.

This quickly became routine. Every week, weather your symptoms returned yet or not, the two of you would meet like this. Alone together, hidden away from curious spiders. The rush you got never faded but the physical effects lessened gradually. You could move a little now, maybe even give single word responses if he asked.

His attitude also changed from a broken melancholy to something more enticed but conflicted. It soon became apparent that both of you were enjoying this, yet neither of you spoke of the palpable change in expression. That was, until you took that first step farther.

Now what used to be more akin to a medical procedure was more like a carnal rendezvous. It became rare to see his contemplation now, and the weekly sessions left no time for your withdrawal to return.

The sessions definitely helped with the physical withdrawal, but your desire only grew. Desire for his venom; desire for him. No, desire wasn't the right word. This was stronger.

Need

Slowly you reached out to his waist; muscles fighting every inch against the venom induced atrophy. Suddenly but gently he grabs your wrist before you can reach him. You shakily lift your chin enough to see him; his nostrils slightly flaring as he takes deep breath, his eyes completely locked on to yours, and his lips pursed together in a flat line.

Your mouth opened and closed fruitlessly, like a fish gasping desperately for water. Miguel felt a little pity but he couldn't ignore the butterflies in his stomach as you looked up at him hungrily. His own hunger only grew as the next words barely fell from your mouth.

“Please?”

“I'm not going to take advantage of your situation.” His heart squeezed as he denied your advances. His heart was beating rapidly, and it's been getting harder for him to control himself during these sessions. He could feel his will crumble as you looked up at him with begging puppy dog eyes. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “...but just this once I'll make an exception.” He released your wrist, and as he opened his eyes his stomach fluttered as the delight spread across your face.

Your movements were stiff and choppy as you staggered to kneel before him. His chest swelled with pride as you looked up at him with that eager doe eyed expression. Each movement was a fight against the venom that made you feel alive, and you were fighting for him.

“Still…hard…to…move…” Your words came slowly, and he patiently waited for each one; his red brown eyes never leaving your lips.

“Would you like some help?” His voice came out like a choked purr. Every passing moment you could see how excited he was getting. His now crimson eyes were a dead giveaway; as was the growing bulge in his suit.

You tried your best to nod; head barely moving an inch up and down, but the message was clear. Gently he cupped your face, thumb running across your bottom lip before sliding back towards your jaw line.

His suit receded to reveal his beautiful fat cock. He helped you open your mouth wide and pulled out your tongue. Once satisfied with your position his hand slid into your hair. His claws barely scraping your scalp sending a shiver rippling through you.

He took his sweet time placing his cock on your tongue. He wanted to give you a moment to back out before you lost the use of your words as well as your body. He let out a shaky sigh as he slid all the way into your throat. Your muscles were too relaxed to trigger any gag reflex and he had no issue going as deep as he pleased.

Slow movement shortly turned into a rough face fucking. His clawed hands roughly gripped your hair for leverage as he buried his bush into your nose with each thrust. It was heavenly.

His grunts were just as delicious as his cock as he picked up the pace once more. Any pathetic little noises you tried to make only gave his cock more pleasure. Your eyes rolled back as your head went fuzzy. The slight lack of oxygen and the effects of the venom making every sensation that much more potent and delightful.

“Merda-” His hips stuttered, and with a pained grunt he pulled himself away from your hot wet mouth. His cock twitched twice before erupting thick ropes of cum across your face. He had to take a few deep breaths until he was able to get control of himself again.

You looked like a dream. Kneeling pretty at his feet covered in his cum. You were all but ensnared in his web, and he loved it.

“When you're able to move more I may let you drink it.” He used his thumb to swipe some of his cum over your tongue so you can have a taste. “Right now I can't risk you choking because of the paralysis.” The taste was exquisite. It only made the euphoria of his venom still in your system that much stronger. If that's the boost a taste could do you were already drooling at the thought of a full dose.

Miguel was very easy to get addicted to.

Translation

Lo siento mucho, no fue mi intención: I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to

Merda: shit

#a degenerate writes #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x male reader #gn reader #smut #♠️ #tw drugs #marvel x reader #spiderverse x reader #spiderman x reader

[iifishizzleii]

i feel so horrible for gwen, because you can literally see the toll of her best friend’s death on her and how it affected her entire SPIRAL.

like it started when her dad thought she’d killed him, and how she couldn’t even tell the him the truth because she was afraid of how he would react if he knew the person he thought killed the boy who was like his son was his daughter. then, when she does reveal her identity to him, it’s under pressure and due to her circumstances, so she’s not comfortable or willing, and neither she nor her father were in the right mindset to hear each other out. this led to something that was MOST definitely a traumatic experience for her, and Gwen didn’t even get time to process it before she ran.

and then the confidence she felt in her relationship with Miles and the confidence she had in HERSELF is withered, by the two adults who took her in when she was at her most vulnerable.

Jessica is constantly switching between kind and understanding, to cold and demanding with her, and it’s obvious how badly Gwen is trying to work with it to satisfy her. she asks Jessica to adopt her as soon as she sees her in action, showing how quickly Gwen got attached to her, most likely because she was kind of a filler for the mom she never had. which is precisely why it makes Gwen so much more emotionally open to being manipulated. (she literally gave Gwen the silent treatment for five seconds and it sent my girl into a panic mode. like. what.)

and Miguel is revealing all these things about how the Multiverse is gonna fall apart, and people are gonna die if she doesn’t do something about Miles—the only other person she can relate to because he’s just like her; a teenager wearing a mask, trying to be what the worlds wants them to be, failing, and going through things no kid should. he’s her reflection, except he’s so much more than she is, and she knows and loves that about him, but Miguel is showing her everything he’s done “wrong”, and Miguel is the only current male role model in her life, so obviously she’s going to look up to him.

neither of them even bothered to help her fix what happened with her dad, too. they just let her go along with them for MONTHS, utilizing how desperate Gwen was for some semblance of a family to get her to catch other anamolies.

she doesn’t do what she did to Miles consciously, and it’s blatant because every time Miles gets closer to his freedom, or he does something incredible, she’s always proud of him. and when he’s hurt, she looks just as pained (and guilty).

she was torn between helping Miles, or helping the Spider Society, but when he showed her that there was more than just the options every Spider Man was handed, and that the impossible can be possible, Gwen learned from it and grew.

Miles helped her, and saved her dad in the process (because he quit before becoming captain). she finna return that favor in the second movie.

#gwen stacy #gwen spiderverse #spider gwen #miles morales #atsv miles #miles atsv #miles spiderverse #miles and gwen #gwen stacy supremacy #jessica drew #jessica spiderverse #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse #spider man atsv #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spider man across the spiderverse spoilers #atsv gwen #miguel atsv

[venusgirltarot]

How Is Your Person Feeling About You? ࿐ྂ。

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

If you would like a personal reading from me, you can get one here!

Pile 1 ࿐

Pile one, your person may be someone you knew years ago. A childhood friend or a short fling that just wasn’t right at the time. You’ve either found each other again or never left and have been friends this whole time. Your person feels like they never quite match up to you and I heard “your expectations” but I don’t think you have or have ever had expectations for them. You’ve always loved them as themselves but they don’t seem to realize that.

If you guys have been friends, they may have seen you in other relationships and compare themselves to your exes, always feeling like they don’t quite measure up. They also compare themselves to you, they feel like you always do things by the book and you’re very intelligent. Maybe they feel you’ve gone about things in the way society deems as “correct” or “ideal”. For example, going to college right after high school, getting good grades, holding a stable job, etc. or possibly have a good family and home life that they don’t have.

They may have taken the steps to turn themselves into the person they feel is deserving of you and your attention. Possibly becoming someone you don’t really recognize anymore. This could be because you don’t really recognize them but could also be because they’ve distanced themselves from you so you haven’t gotten the chance to know this new version of them because they haven’t given you that chance.

There’s a distance between the two of you that seems to he fueled by this stubbornness and refusal to let your guard down and just open up to each other. You may have been in or recently gotten out of a relationship that upset this person. They may have finally come to terms with their romantic feelings for you and we’re thinking about opening up to you when you got into this relationship and it made them distance themselves and possibly even have resentment for you and this relationship.

There’s a lack of communication that I really think the two of you could benefit from. I think a conversation could change everything for the two of you if you just have it a chance and opened up to each other.

During the reading I heard “always an angel never a god” from a boygenius song (I’m so sorry I can’t remember which) “never could quite measure up” “one step ahead of you” and I channeled the song “The Less I Know The Better” by Tame Impala

Pile 2 ࿐

You may have recently ended things with this person or cut ties and moved on. You felt your needs weren’t being met and the energy wasn’t being reciprocated so you “kept it moving” is what I heard and “nobody has time for that” as well 😭 you knew you were deserving of more so you decided to leave this connection behind and go find more and you made a good decision in doing that.

I kept hearing “Everything I Didn’t Say” by 5SOS when I was shuffling. It seems like your person understands that there’s more they could’ve done but at the same time, I don’t think they’re expressing that to you. They may have entered this connection with the idea that it would be “easy” or “low maintenance” so they could focus on their career and put you on the back burner and didn’t take any of your issues or needs seriously. They didn’t expect you to walk away but refuse to see that their lack of communication and refusal to contribute to it was the real downfall of the relationship.

They may have the idea that material things like clothes, flowers, dinners, etc. would’ve fixed it when emotional connection and vulnerability is what you really wanted. I heard “you didn’t ever really know me” there was a lack of any sort of connection in this relationship and this person’s failure to realize that just cements the fact that walking away is the best decision you could’ve made.

I think you would have fully supported them in pursuing their career had they communicated that with you but they failed to do that and continue to lack the communication and emotional maturity needed to maintain a stable and healthy relationship.

You have an amazing person coming in, pile 2. Someone that’s understand and appreciates you and your energy. Someone that doesn’t neglect you, your wants, or your needs. There’s someone coming in that is worth your time and energy but that is not this person and you did the right thing by walking away. Please don’t ever doubt that. I heard “stay true to yourself” and “keep it moving”

Pile 3 ࿐

Don’t hold yourself back, pile 3. You may have met this person recently at a group outing/event or work. I heard “that’s my man” while shuffling. This is oddly specific but Taylor Swift may have been playing in the background when you met this person. You may have been in a group of people but your full attention was on each other, even if you two didn’t notice the other staring. There were a lot of stolen glances between the two of you and very subtle flirting. Subtle enough that you’re still questioning whether or not they were flirting with you. They were. The feelings are very much mutual.

You may be rejecting yourself before this person gets the chance to. Shutting down the idea of the two of you as couple to save yourself from hurt because for some reason you’re so sure it won’t but what if it does? What if you talk to them and they tell you your feelings are mutual and you finally get to feel that love you see everyone else receiving but have never received yourself? Stop letting your fears and insecurities hold you back and take that chance.

You’re worthy of love and affection from not only yourself, but others as well. This person is not “too good” for you and it is possible that they could like you back because they do. I heard “like a lot” 😭 the feelings are most definitely mutual, stop doubting yourself. Stop thinking no one could ever have a crush on you because they can and they do because of course they would. You’re amazing, stop doubting that. Why are you fighting your own happiness? It’s here. The love you’ve been wanting and fantasizing about is here, fall into it and stop questioning yourself.

I don’t have to tell you what this person is feeling for you because your feelings are identical. What you feel for them they feel for you. You’re definitely mirroring each other. Don’t take anything too seriously and approach this connection in a light playful way and see where it goes.

I hope this reading has brought you some sort of peace, clarification, or happiness! Feedback is always appreciated :) have a good day or night. Sending you love and light!

#free tarot readings #free readings #tarotblr #tarot cards #tarot reader #tarot related #pac reading #tarot requests #collective reading #spirituality #love reading #love tarot spread #tarot pick a card #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a pile #pac #romance reading #romance tarot #future spouse #future spouse tarot #tarot love reading

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

How would the tfa and elite guard and cons react to the sparkling beans who are tiny to be hold by human hands entirely

-On Cybertron, in autobot society, sparklings are kinda seen as something to be flaunted around. Small, defenseless and time consuming, having one is almost a status symbol, a show of how much free time and resources one has to be able to have a sparkling. Going on a walk with ones sparkling is more for ones own pride than anything.

-Meanwhile, in decepticon culture, it's kind of the opposite. Since sparklings are so frail, they are kept far away from others, not hidden but not seen by anyone other than the parents or really close and trusted friends.

-For these headcanons, the sparkling is not any of the bot's, it's just one they found.

The autobots:

-Optimus is incredibly awkward around sparklings since he's never really been around them before. At the same time he's hovering around them, having a hard time putting them down once he's holding them since he's so concerned about their safety. Every time a bird flies overhead he ends up shielding them because he worried the animal will mistake them for pray and make a dive for them.

-Now, Ratchet has some experience with sparklings, despite not being a pediatrician. As such he knows how to take care of them and he's very confident with how he handles them. Thinks it's ridiculous the way Cybertron flaunts around sparklings, they aren't decorations after all.

-Bumblebee sees the sparklings more like a novelty than actual living beings, mainly because of how they are treated and seen back on Cybertron. He tries to show off how good he is at taking care of them but quickly realizes how out of his depth he is when one starts crying. Ends up begging Ratchet for help. Tries juggling them once but got promptly reprimanded for it.

-Oh, poor Bulkhead, he is really stressed out. Those sparklings are so small and he's so very big and clumsy and he doesn't dare to get close to them out of fear that he will accidentally hurt them. Finds them absolutely adorable though and will coo at them from a distance.

-Tries to act cool and in the know but Prowl has no idea how to take care of these small things. Ends up resorting to things he's seen humans do with their young and this ends up working pretty well. Fake it till you make it and all that. But because he appears so well versed with taking care of sparklings, a lot of the baby sitting duties land on him. He feels completely at a loss at what to do.

-Ultra Magnus, while he's never had one of his own, has met many sparklings in his life, mostly the spoiled young of Cybertron's elite. That's why he doesn't really raise much of a fuss when he sees one. A good temporary caretaker though, always very careful and gentle with them.

-Yeah, Sentinel is totally out of his depth here. He acts like taking care of sparklings is super easy and that he can do it no problem but the moment the sparkling so much as whimpers he dumps it on somebody else. Will take all the credit for their care though.

-While he's seen some sparklings, actually being so close to one is a totally new experience for Jazz. He finds them super cute but is also kinda stressed out by how small they are. Very protective and will use his ninja skills to keep them out of harms way.

-Oh boy, Jetfire and Jetstorm won't stop poking and prodding at the poor thing. They've never been so close to a sparkling and they are so much smaller in real life! Kinda treats it like a pet before realizing that hey, that's an actual cybertronian, maybe we should treat it like one.

The decepticons:

-Megatron doesn't dislike sparklings but he feels no particular attachment to them either. That being said, he feels the need to place them somewhere safe, somewhere secluded. It will take a while for them to grow up but he trusts that one day they will become a fine decepticon.

-Immediately, Starscream snatches them up and puts them in his cockpit. The sparkling is vulnerable out here in the open after all. Don't want to take care of them but doesn't trust anyone else to do it right so he ends up doing it.

-Depending on the personality, Blitzwing may or may not be allowed near the sparkling. Icy is given a go since he is careful enough to properly care for something so small. Hothead is allowed to watch other the sparkling but not hold them since he's too, well, hotheaded and might do something without thinking. Random is banned from even being in the same room as the little one ever since he 'joked' about them being so cute he could just gobble them up.

-Lugnut is not allowed to hold the sparkling, no matter how longingly he looks at it. He's dreamt of having a sparkling together with Strika for a long time now and he sees this as a perfect opportunity to adopt. Please, he'll be careful, let him hold it!

-As he's worked undercover on Cybertron for some time now, Shockwave knows about the autobot customs regarding sparklings and is repulsed by it. He instinctively wants to tuck it away, put it somewhere safe and locked up but knows that he can't because he needs to keep up appearances. At least his ability to shapeshift into his smaller Longarm form is good for handling small sparklings.

-As much as she tries to pretend otherwise, Blackarachnia is completely enamored with the little one. When no one is looking, she coos at is, wiggling her fingers at it. Makes a baby sling out of web and carries them around, showing them off.

#transformers imagine #transformers animated #sparklings #optimus prime #ratchet #bumblebee #bulkhead #prowl #ultra magnus #sentinel prime #jazz #jettwins #jetfire #jetstorm #megatron #starscream #blitzwing #lugnut #shockwave #blackarachnia

[traumasurvivors]

Here's an article I wrote to a question I am asked a lot. You can also read it below the read more.

Is something wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you if you love and/or miss your abuser. There are any number of reasons why you could be feeling this way, and I will share some examples with you. But please know this is not a comprehensive list and you are still valid if your reason isn’t listed, if there are multiple reasons, or if you don’t even know the reason.

Abusers are not always abusive. There are usually good moments with them. Thinking about the good times, it’s easy to wish there were more of those.

They may say they love you. Especially if you were a child when they started abusing you, you may believe if they love you, it’s terrible for you to not love them back. You may believe you have to love them, especially if they are family.

You may miss the idea of what they could add to your life, such as how great it could be to get love and care from a parent or have a supportive spouse backing us up. Even if the abuser stopped giving you love, care or support (or never gave much of those in the first place), the idea of receiving those from someone society says you should is a powerful one.

You may be going through something difficult, and think that your abuser would help you through it if they were there (or just wish they would). This might be because they have helped you through things in the past. It may be because you loved or still love them, and know you would help them, and like to think or hope they would do the same. It may also be that an abuser told you how weak, or stupid or helpless you were, and made you dependant on them. If things are tough, this may seem like confirmation that you need them - but that’s what your abuser wants you to think.

You may blame yourself for the abuse. This might be because you believe love is powerful enough to make them do better and stop abusing you, if your love was just “stronger,” or “purer,” or in some other way “better.” There are many movies and songs that talk about how wonderful and powerful love is. You may think if you just “didn’t do that thing,” the abuse wouldn’t happen. If an abuser wants to abuse, they will find an excuse.

The truth is that loving your abuser, whether you are still being abused or the abuse has stopped, happens to a lot of people. And missing them, after you’ve gotten them out of your life, is a normal thing.

These feelings do not mean something is “wrong with you” and do not mean you are saying the abuse was okay. They do not mean you “asked for” the abuse, or “enjoyed it.”

They may mean that you are going through the process of grieving. This might be about grieving the loss of what was good in your relationship with your abuser. Or the loss of what you wish that relationship could have been. It may be more about you, such as grieving the loss of who you might have become if you had not been abused.

It’s okay to love and/or miss your abuser. Feelings are complex, especially when dealing with family members, or people who have seen you through dark times or seen you at your most vulnerable. What is important is that these feelings do not invalidate the trauma you have suffered. They do not mean you have not been abused, or that your abuse is your fault, or that you wanted it to happen. Your abuser was wrong. And even if you love and miss them, what they did was not okay. And the only one to blame is them. You and your feelings are valid.

#tw abuse #my blog posts