#my shitty text posts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

violent138 · 27 days

Text

Alfred: "Master Bruce, you're home rather late, is everything--"

Bruce: "Alfred, I have a kid."

Alfred, already making preparations: "Well, that happens sometimes, Master Bruce. Are you... are the two of you planning to keep it?"

Bruce: "Of course I am, Alfred, he's in the car outside."

Alfred, thrown, but refusing to show it: "Oh my. So it was before your travels?"

Bruce, frowning: "No, it was like two hours ago. I got him from the circus."

Alfred:

Bruce, groaning: "I made a mistake leaving him in the car, right? One minute, I'll be right back."

Alfred:

Bruce, sticking his head back into the room: "Also he doesn't know I'm Batman, okay? Thanks Alfred."

#I know this isn't how it happened #But hear me out this is funny #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Alfred pennyworth #It's practically my job now to make these shitty text posts #dc comics

381 notes · View notes

ewwww-what · 16 days

Text

Are we all consciously pretending to forget that Gilear canonically said this to his 13 year old daughter, or did you guys all actually forget about it?

294 notes · View notes

jeffersonhairpie · 6 months

Text

jesus christ superstar is about leftist infighting and hating your best friend and loving people wrong and the myopia of fame and inevitability and understanding that you were the cog that might not have turned and how love will not save the world because it is not enough and how people are fickle and how leaders are cowards and how the buck has to stop somewhere and how love doesn't stop just because it's useless or bad and saying 'i told you so' and how good will can never trump The Plan and how together we are so very strong and how God is not going to save us and how the story is incomplete because we have to finish it ourselves

#jcs #jesus christ superstar #actually have to bang my head into a wall every time i think about it #'it's so rich!' i screech from the rafters about an alw musical of all things #shitty text post

858 notes · View notes

kitamars · 7 months

Text

ginhiji is a workplace romance but one of them is unemployed

#excuse my shitty handwriting #I have so many thoughts about gintoki vs. phone and I have to draw them all at some point #I have so many text posts saved it’s great #these two are so funny I’m never tired of it #also gin never saves hijikata’s contact #he just refuses to its a matter of pride #I have more thoughts. we’ll get to them #sakata gintoki #hijikata toushirou #gintoki x hijikata #hijikata x gintoki #ginhiji #hijigin #gintama #ok bye

679 notes · View notes

plistommy · 2 days

Text

Smooth, Eddie. Real smooth.

109 notes · View notes

877158 · 9 months

Text

nhl players as textposts: the penguins’ core part 3

pt. 1

pt. 2

#the core my beloved #mine #i’m SORRY for the shitty layout it’s part of the meme!#sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #kris letang #text posts meme #pittsburgh penguins #i hope this made u laugh <3

245 notes · View notes

frownyalfred · 1 year

Text

🎶 maaaaake your own kind of music 🎶

#sorry I’m not good at tiktok so please enjoy it as static meme #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #jason todd #batdad #batfam #he noticed but he thought Jason would beat Steph’s record so he didn’t say anything #shitty text post #my bad Snapchat memes sorry

591 notes · View notes

jarognieva · 1 year

Text

So during my 2137th playthrough I've been observing things through monocular and I realized text in some gravestones in Hemwick Charner Lane have actually meaning!

For first sight it looks like just random keysmash but what else looks like a keysmash? Polish language!

I couldn't decipher whole text unfortunately. Parts with dots means that I can't see exactly what's there but I guessed by context.

So:

??? SWOJEJ CHWAŁY - "of your glory" (genitive case) - swojej could mean my/your/his/her as well - it depends on context

...YWAJĄCEJ TU - it's half of the word, so maybe "[SPOCZ]YWAJĄCEJ" ("here lies")? It makes sense but the same word is below, lol

Ś.P. - R.I.P

[SPO]CZYWAJĄCEJ TU - "here lies" (gen. case)

[NAJ]ZACNIEJSZEJ ŻONY - "the most worthy/precious wife" (gen. case)

????? ŻYCIA - "of life" (gen. case)

??? 30 W??? - The only letter I can see here is "w", but I don't think it was supposed to be "30 years" or something (because in Polish it would be "30 LAT")

[ZM]ARŁEJ - "dead/deceased/late/passed away" (depends on context)

I don't think it has any lore meaning, because the same text is in most gravestones in Hemwick... But this is really interesting curio, considering Yharnam is in fact based on slavic cities (especially Prague).

#yeah I know my English is shitty but please appreciate that I used all my energy and skills to make this post XD #and if someone knows polish plz help me decipher the rest of text ;_;#Bloodborne #Bloodborne lore #my post

427 notes · View notes

incorrect-hs-quotes · 3 months

Text

Roxy: wehere's seasons greasons

Roxy:

Roxy: its that tmie of year agian

Dirk: It doesn't have to be.

Roxy: its not optional!

#submission #dirk strider #roxy lalonde #dirk #roxy #okay i know this is horribly out of season now (january) but hear me out #them vibes #also i so desperately want to post this with the text coloured but my phone does not handle selecting text on the tumblr submission box #like at all. it's a shitty iphone se from 2016 and the screen is so small #that the keyboard+formatting selector+random 'FOLLOW THE TUMBLR SUBMISSION GUIDELINES' box at the top is too much #okay well it doesn't say that exactly but it does have a link to the TOS so it's like... that but subtle. anyways #it cannot display and the text floods right off the fuckin screen never to be seen again #until i misclick the tag section that is #that's entirely unrelated i am so sorry lol #//#homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #mod terezi #listen the seasonings are greasoning right now i see no reason to keep it restricted to just december #(editor's note: it is currently -7f right now where i am. the seasons do be greasons)

120 notes · View notes

anxiously-sidequesting · 3 months

Text

you see Girls, i have this chronic clinical condition that has me vulnerable to sympathizing with irredeemable villains we as the audience are supposed to reject and despise in according to the narrative. it's called Woobifyitis. it's fatal and when i inevitably die in six days im going to be buried right inbetween malistaire and morganthe where i belong

#inspired by a discord conversation im having right now #i know i made that shitpost about making fun of malistaire several months ago but honestly? whatever. he's one of my favorites actually #im stuck in this limbo between “liking characters the narrative wants us to hate” and “forgetting what theyve done teehee 💖”#yeah morganthe was a war criminal! yeah grandfather spider attempted omnicide! who hasnt!?#also duncan can do no wrong actually. sorry i'm correct about this. he's committed no crimes to me #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts #one day people will be so Done with me and my shitty(?) opinions. you guys have my permission to find my house and kill me on that day #love you tumblr user zorphie. we're having the best conversations always

62 notes · View notes

harringroveera · 4 months

Text

Eddie is asking the important question here

#creelson #henry: …and thats how I was put in the lab in the first place #eddie: that’s shitty. so when do u wanna come over to my place?#henry creel #eddie munson #henry x eddie #henry creel x eddie munson #incorrect creelson quotes #harringroveera #creelson meme #creelson textpost #creelson + text post #eddie x henry #eddie munson meme #incorrect eddie munson #henry creel meme #incorrect henry creel quotes #creelson edit #creelson ship

70 notes · View notes

concreteburialplot · 6 months

Text

-> 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘; 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲/𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Noah Sebastian x Fem!OC [Vallie]

Nicholas Ruffilo x Fem!OC [Vallie]

-> 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙏𝙒𝙄𝙉𝙀𝘿; 𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮/𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

Noah Sebastian x Nicholas Ruffilo

-> 𝙲𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝙸𝚃; 𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢/𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

Noah Sebastian x Fem!OC [Amelia]

* = smut

-> (Don’t Cry Over) Spilled Wine*

Noah Sebastian x Nicholas Ruffilo x Fem!Reader

-> Draped Across*

Noah Sebastian x Nicholas Ruffilo x Fem!Reader

-> Delicate Beginning Rush*

Nicholas Ruffilo x Fem!Reader

-> The Wonder Of You*

Birthday Boy!Nicholas Ruffilo x Fem!Reader

-> Anything Else?

Nicholas Ruffilo x Sick!Reader

-> We’ll Get You There*

Morning Sex!Nicholas x Fem!Reader

84 notes · View notes

kangaracha · 25 days

Note

daffodil + chan

a song

the prompt: daffodil (a god bows before a mortal)

read it on ao3

---

"You have no power over me."

running through his hands like water, and suddenly the earth is not his to control. The skies do not turn with the twist of his head, lightning does not fork in the air when his eyes, dark as night and yet still lit by some unearthly light, fall upon you, his mouth wide as if to gasp for a breath he cannot take-

And yet, still, it shivers down your spine; the magic that draws you here even as you rip it apart, the prize of your conquest to rip the world into two.

"Take it back," he hisses through his teeth, the ground trembling with every syllable that slides down his tongue. You watch his mouth as it forms the words, the flash of teeth behind thin lips reminding you of the way that the swordsman you'd fought through to get here had smiled at you - the last of his seven challenges, the last of his demons, or angels, or citizens of the sprawling, damned city he claimed as his kingdom.

And here you stood, at the pinnacle of the eighth, and stared him in the eye without cringing away because now you knew the truth. Now you knew that what he whispered in the dark was a lie and what you saw with your eyes wasn't always true, and though he may be a god and a king amongst beings that you could never hope to rival, a god can only hold as much power as you give him. A god can only claim dominion over a beast that bowed to his dogma.

You see now that you are no beast. You are no believer in any lie he utters to the darkness.

"Take it back," he says again, the note of his voice changing. He pleads, his brow furrowing and his shoulders curling in as if waiting for the final blow. "Take it back now, before it's too late."

"I can't," you tell him, and you watch him fall to his knees, and you know that it's wrong and your heart pounds in your chest and it

like the ground does at the impact of his knees, crumbling into the pieces it was in when you first took his hand, alone on the side of the road with only one thing to call your own. And what was that thing, the little warmth you'd held to your chest in the dark and the cold? What had you traded away for the comfort of the house that crumbled around you now? Why had you destroyed him to get it back, where was it now, why did it not appear within his hands at this, the hour of his reckoning?

"Please," he spits into the cold ground, the dirt and the leaves and the curl of ivy that grows up the walls around you, old and ancient and not yet sprouted from its roots all at the same time. His hands curl in the dirt like he can reach down and pull the earth to him, like he can stop the wane of his power if he just tries to hold on a little bit tighter. "I know what you want, and I don't have it. I can't lose-"

Broken, fragile thing. Small god of limited earth, crouched at your feet like he might worship you instead. You'd thought him all-powerful once, and then you'd thought him severe and his servants and beasts and playthings petty, and then you'd thought him

because he'd smiled at you in the garden that bloomed from his own hands when you expressed your desire for a flower to tuck in the braid of your dark hair, and his hand had been soft in yours, and when he looked out across his kingdom and the clamouring faces of the people he'd brought to live there, he'd looked at them the same way that he'd looked at you.

Beneath your foot, the ground cracks, fracturing outwards like a spiderweb. It's your heart, you realise morosely, sinking from your chest and into the depths of the earth, disappearing with whatever he'd taken from you; and it was a wretched thing and it had betrayed you a hundred times over, but you still mourn at the loss of it and all the dreams it had carried with it. It blooms in your flowers in the corners of the room, embeds itself into the land and sings along with the song of his power, a thing you can hear but cannot touch, a beast once born that now does not belong to you.

"I'm sorry," he says, his breath like mist in the cold air, and even without your heart, you can't bear to see him so cold.

Your hands reach for him without permission, your body kneeling in the dirt before you can stand your feet firm upon the earth and refuse to move. He flinches away, but your fingers are soft upon his chin and the curve of his jaw, gentle when they brush the soft dip of his neck. "I only wanted to know what it was," you tell him with a voice that cannot hold itself steady. "I thought if you loved me, you would give it back." It's the only voice you have - you are not like him, or like Felix, speaking with many tongues. You don't have any power of your own.

"It's because I love you that I can't give it back." His voice is hoarse, every word a knife that he swallows without ever once flinching. "It's because I love you that I couldn't tell you what it was."

"But didn't I deserve to know?" you question. "Doesn't my life belong to me?"

Finally, his eyes rise, looking up at you with a fire that belies the cold of his skin. "Of course it does," he gasps, and his hand reaches up, dirt-stained fingers dragging at your cheek. "That's why I gave it to you, and I never asked for anything else."

"But you wouldn't give back what you took in the first place."

The sudden violence of his voice crumbles the walls and fractures the sky, the clouds blooming te dark colours of a bruise. The absence of his hand on your cheek stings in the cold; his face turns away, screwed up in regret and a pain he won't allow you to feel. You lurch forward before he can disappear, drawing him into your arms; stiff shoulders, spine of beaten steel, slow beat of a heart you once held in your hands.

He'd stood so tall and unmoving in the morning light, when you'd first walked down this path, and now in the dark of the setting sun and the ending of the earth, his weight slumps into your grasp, his resolve melting into the warmth of your body. "I didn't want you to suffer again," he says to the soft cotton of your shirt and the curve of your collarbone, his breath a whisper against your skin. "I couldn't watch that, when you asked me to make sure it would never happen again."

Surprise comes in the pause of your breath and the still of your arms, the jump of a heart you're not sure you still possess. "I asked you to make me forget?" you question the world behind his back, and into your neck, he sighs.

"You couldn't forget," he murmurs. "She was dead before I found you, and when I took her from your arms - you couldn't forget. There was nothing I could do to fix what had been broken. And then you begged me to let you forget, so I remembered her for you." He pauses, his throat hitching like he's swallowing something down. A sob maybe, or the tears he will never let fall. "I can't give her back though. She's not here anymore."

You push him upright, your hands on his shoulders, his neck, his face. Brushing away the hair that falls in his eyes, wiping at the blood that drips from the cut on his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, because the answer is incomprehensible. "Why did you let me go this far?"

"Because I was scared," he admits, and his teeth clench and his spine stiffens against the urge to hide away from you again. "Because I'm a wretched, evil, stupid thing who thinks they can-"

His words die in your throat; vile, wretched things that you store away to spit out later, into the ground where they belong. He is none of that; he is soft, and hesitant, until your fingers find the sharp curve of his hip and the lines of his back, dragging him closer and his lips open like there is nothing in the world to devour but you and

#sorry about the images everyone but tumblr wouldn't let me keep my aesthetic #and i refuse to bow to any shitty website #how tf do you align text on here #anyway #stray kids #bang chan #stray kids chan #bang chan x reader #stray kids x you #y/n without the y/n #lee felix #is mentioned #lee know is also in here if you can spot him #roo writes #the fight i had to a) finish this and b) post it #anyway 7k written for the last three days #a lil treat for #well for me because keeps refused to write me a fic and i got desperate #but for the love of god please someone read this please someone talk to me #i feel like i really cooked with this #one hour of my life spent going down a rabbithole #oh what else was i going to say #vaguely inspired by labyrinth #we went way off the labyrinth rails but #it's there #alright shit alright i'm gonna post it lets go i'm nervous

40 notes · View notes

corvidexoskeleton · 7 months

Text

I do kind of enjoy the change in Kratos' vocabulary in the norse god of war games, because while a lot of his lines in the original games were pretty aggressive, and he wasn't exactly a conversationalist, he still spoke in that sort of dramatic theater style of speech. But in the norse games, he really doesn't speak much even when he's actively in a conversation with someone, and his choice of words is a lot simpler and direct imo

I'm not sure if it was intended by the developers, but I enjoy the idea that the reason Kratos doesn't speak as much or with as much flair as he did in the original series, is because he's speaking a different language and isn't nearly as fluent in it as he would like, hence his more straightforward and simple choice of words

#text post tag #god of war #kratos #im very normal about him #like my dude comes from the drama theater culture #sparta mightve been the shitty slave state that prioritized abuse over art but he was still. like. in greece as a whole #and did plenty of traveling around after he killed lyssandra and calliope #blease they need another greek person to visit Scandinavia so he can have someone to talk to #teaches greek to mimir.........

69 notes · View notes

thewingedwolf · 2 months

Text