THESE FUCKING BLUBBERING THOUGHTS OF MINIE
It's Friday morning at 4:09 a.m. It has become a habit to stay up every night until 3 or 4 a.m. It's almost a stress if I don't go to bed or sleep till then or if I go before then. Who knows what that is about.
It's August and It is between being end of summer, beginning of Indian summer or a quick fall. It's Maine and it's so unpredictable it could be fucking snowing tomorrow. Baha.
My life is mostly full of work, tears, work, more tears. I have a son going to be 16 and a daughter leaving for college next week and a husband that is working on the road and having an affair with my x friend. Did I mention she was a cunt. Who could possibly ask for anything more in life.
Although, I do have several things to be grateful for I have several things to be sad and angry about as well. Do I just settle and deal with the husband situation. Yes, probably so. Although the thoughts of them and even just her period make me squirm. Make me pissy and angry. GRRRR. I may deal but I will not be quiet about it.
The children leaving and starting their adulthood.... not so much. I mean I can deal, and I want them to grow and come into their own person, but I can be sad that my little ones are growing up. I can be pissed and sad about my husband and my friend, who i fucking hate more than anything.
I cannot describe the anger and the feeling that wells up inside of me when I think about that two faced, lying cunt. Anyways...don't get me started because that will be the only thing I will think about. Not that I don't have enough of her on my mind or in my head. Fuck I just really want to rip her head right off her fucking shoulders.
Moving on.... I am going through another phase of my life. Learning to let go and then I guess I find out the next steps, the next plan the universe has in store for me. Yet, for now, I will deal with the circumstances with as much patience as I can muster and pray that she has some mercy, the universe that is, to get me through each day of bad to the good that I know will be at the end of this chapter of my life.
All in all, life hasn't been too bad. I've made it through all the heartbreaks thus far. This one more intense than most considering I have been with him 24 years of my 55 years. I will win. I will be the one who comes out on top both in the relationship and in life. I just know cause that's what the universe has done for me, and I manifest that shit if I can.
Till the next time I need to pour out these fucking thoughts.....may you all have a blessed weekend and your man not be fucking another.
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Bob the Drag Queen being arrested at a protest in Bryant Park, New York (2010)
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I first became fascinated with it a few years ago when I noticed it out an airplane window on a flight from Texas to Southern California. In an expanse of endless desert, suddenly, a vast body of water. When I got home, I immediately looked it up on a map. The Salton Sea.
It’s the largest landlocked body of water in California. It sits right on top of the San Andreas Fault at over 200 feet below sea level. It is more than twice as salty as the Pacific Ocean. It is completely toxic. And I had never heard of it before then.
(photo essay under the cut)
In the early 1900s the Colorado River was diverted through a series of irrigation canals in order to provide water for the farmlands of Imperial Valley. One of the head-gates broke during a flood, and the desert basin filled with water for 2 years before it was fixed. The unexpected lake soon became a popular vacation destination; it was stocked with fish, and resorts and hotels popped up along its shores. It became known as a great place for sport fishing, waterskiing, and yacht parties. Big name celebrities visited. At one point, it had more annual visitors than Yosemite.
Salton Sea has no outlet, and is only filled via agricultural runoff. As the water evaporated in the hot desert sun, the lake became more and more saline. Chemicals began to build up from the run off causing toxic algae blooms, and mass die-offs of fish and birds started in the 80s. By the 90s, the beaches were littered with fish gills and bird bones and the resorts were abandoned. The lake began to dry up as irrigation run-off was diverted away. The exposed lake bed is also toxic, and the high desert winds kick up the dust, making the air poisonous.
Despite the unpleasant odor, the noxious air and the summer temperatures regularly reaching 120°, a renaissance of sorts began in the early 2010s. Artist and nomad colonies began to spring up around Salton Sea. Bombay Beach, once a popular resort destination, is now mostly a ghost town, but the folks who remain have turned the ruins on the shores into an outdoor art installation gallery where the found-art sculptures are cyclically destroyed by the elements and then replaced with new ones. Many of the houses and RVs in town are themselves art pieces.
In nearby Slab City, a settlement of off-the-grid lifestylers, you can find even more folk art. Salvation Mountain is a manmade hill painted with bright colors and bible verses and maintained by a community of volunteers. East Jesus is a sculpture garden and art installation.
This past weekend my partner and I finally made the pilgrimage to the Sea. California has the benefit of being home to a huge array of biomes. In just a couple of hours you can travel from snowy mountain peaks to lush oases to endless sand dunes. Driving the hour or so south from Palm Springs towards Salton Sea is like driving towards the end of the world.
Bombay Beach especially enamored me. The beach is crusted with salt and millions of tiny shells and bones. It smells awful, like sewage and chemicals and low-tide and rotting fish. You drive out onto the beach and park anywhere amongst the sculptures and deteriorating resort ruins. The art feels raw in a way I haven’t experienced before. It reminds me of seeing paleolithic cave art. Humans made this, with no motivation other than to create something intriguing or beautiful or sad. Not much can live out here, but what you find fills me with a great adoration for humanity. Despite the asphyxiation of the natural world, the human spirit persists.
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