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swan-of-sunrise · 1 year

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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Part I)

Summary: Six months after Steve had the super-soldier serum removed and he retired from superhero work to live a quiet life with (Y/N) and their infant daughter, Sam decides to give up the shield and (Y/N) finds herself caught between her best friend and her husband’s less-than-pleased best friend.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: Hi there and welcome to the 5-part series centering around TFATWS! This is one of my favorite MCU shows and when I first watched it, I knew that I wanted to write about what (Y/N) and Steve were up to during that time and I wanted to delve further into Sam and (Y/N)’s friendship. Thank you for reading, and I hope you all enjoy!

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Part I) April 2024 Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, Washington D.C. (Previous One-Shot)

“You okay, (Y/L/N)? You look like you’re gonna be sick.”

“Well, you know that feeling you get when you visit your old high school after you’ve graduated and you realize that everything’s changed? That’s sort of how I feel right now, and it’s a shockingly strange and unpleasant feeling.”

Beside (Y/N), Rhodey chuckled but allowed her to wrap her hand around his crooked arm as they strode through the Air and Space Museum’s hangar towards the large platform at its end. “I see what you mean. A lot of change happened for you right here in D.C., and I know that not all those memories are much fun to re-live…truth be told, I’m a little surprised that you accepted the Smithsonian’s invitation at all.”

“I wanted to be here for Sam,” She shrugged and looked up at the banner emblazoned with the image of her husband’s face. “Because God knows that today won’t be easy for him.”

Rhodes nodded and after giving their surroundings a quick assessment, he looked back at her and lowered his voice. “Did you know he was gonna give up the shield?”

Pursing her lips, (Y/N) twisted her wedding ring around her finger and carefully considered her words before replying, “He called us last week and while he didn’t explicitly say what he’d be doing, we both suspected that he was giving up the shield. Steve understood, of course, I’m just not sure that he really understood, if you know what I mean; he’s always been very progressive and forward-thinking for his age and it’s one of the many, many things I love about him, but sometimes he can be a little naïve to how the modern world really operates.” Her eyes flicked over to the covered display case beside the empty podium and her brow furrowed at the sight. “Something about all this doesn’t feel right, Rhodey.”

“Good, you feel it too,” The colonel straightened one of the many ribbons fastened onto the left breast of his dress uniform and snorted. “I’d be surprised if that shield makes it a full week before someone decides to pull it out for a new Captain America. That being said, I can’t exactly fault the guy for making this call; I’m one of the highest-decorated men in the Air Force, but that still doesn’t stop me from experiencing that pain-in-the-ass imposter syndrome from time to time.” By then, the hangar began to fill with more attendees, journalists and photographers, so Rhodes thoughtfully angled them both so that she was partially hidden from their prying eyes. “So, is that husband of yours having lots of fun on the moon?”

(Y/N) laughed. “He liked that conspiracy theory when he first heard it but now that it’s caught on with more mainstream media outlets, he really can’t get enough of it. Once a space nerd, always a space nerd, I suppose.”

“Steve’s doing good, though, right? He’s not having any difficulty adjusting to civilian life?”

“I initially thought he might, but no.” Reaching into her clutch, she withdrew her cell phone and began scrolling through her photos while she talked. “He hasn’t had a single second thought about giving up the serum and retiring from superhero life; he’s gotten back into his art – mostly charcoal and pencil drawings, but he’s been dabbling a little in watercolor painting – and he’s really enjoying all the time he has with Carina now.”

Rhodes smiled as she showed him a photograph of her de-serumed husband, her daughter and their senior German Shepard playing in the backyard of their quaint New England home; seven-month old Carina was seated on Steve’s narrow shoulders and her tiny hands gripped onto his blonde locks while he held her chubby legs, his laughing face scrunched up as Indy licked the side of his face. “Well, tell him I’m happy for him. If anyone deserves a quiet life, it’s him.”

A cacophony of shutter clicks drew their attention to the side entrance and they watched as Senator Smith entered the hangar alongside several government officials, military personnel and Sam, carefully holding the vibranium shield in his arms and averting his gaze away from the wall of photographers elbowing one another to capture his image. While Sam ascended the platform’s steps, the older senator moved to join them and shook Rhodes’ hand. “It’s good to see you again, Colonel.” He reached for (Y/N)’s hand and gave it a noticeably-gentler shake along with a sympathetic smile. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss, Mrs. (Y/L/N). If there’s anything I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to call my office and ask.”

(Y/N) forced herself to return his smile and to not wipe her hand on the skirt of her dress as she replied, “Thank you, Senator, but I’m just happy to be here supporting Sam and the Smithsonian’s refurbished exhibit.”

Much to her discomfort, the senator led them both towards the front of the crowd and her jaw clenched as the journalists and photographers started to take notice of her presence; the flashes of their cameras and their hushed speculating brought back memories of the time she spent trapped under a restricting studio contract and the dark days following the tragedy in Lagos, but she fought back the unpleasant feelings by focusing on her best friend as he leaned the shield against the podium’s base and adjusted the microphone before beginning his speech.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here with us today to celebrate the grand re-opening of the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum’s permanent Captain America exhibit. Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful…and he mastered posing stoically.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes as everyone who’d never once met Steve Rogers chuckled good-humoredly and Rhodes smirked at her reaction. “The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes, ones suited for the times we’re in. Symbols are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning, and this thing…” The hangar echoed with shutter clicks as Sam picked up the red, white and blue shield and stared down at it. “I don’t know if there’s ever been a greater symbol. But it’s more about the man who propped it up, and he’s gone.” The photographers began turning their cameras towards (Y/N) and Rhodes to capture their reactions, but they merely continued to diligently stare ahead and refused to look away from Sam. “So today, we honor Steve’s legacy but also, we look to the future. Thank you, Captain America, but this belongs to you.”

Applause filled the hangar as Sam handed the shield over to a Smithsonian worker wearing white cotton gloves, and (Y/N) swallowed the unexpected lump in her throat as the shield her husband carried into countless battles and the shield she believed her best friend was meant to carry was carefully sealed in a display case. She ignored the ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach and wrapped her arms around Sam in a tight hug when he eventually made his way through the throng of journalists and photographers. “Hey there, Birdbrain.”

“Hey, Booksmart.” Sam’s arms held her close and he gave her a half-smile when he pulled away. “I’m glad you decided to come.” He bumped his fist against Rhodes’. “You too, man.”

Before the colonel could reply, Senator Smith joined their group and reached for Sam’s hand. “Thanks again for coming forward with the shield, Sam. It was the right decision.”

(Y/N) watched the senator walk away with narrowed eyes and Rhodes sighed as he nudged a solemn-looking Sam. “Take a walk?”

The three of them were admitted into the refurbished Captain America exhibit and while they walked amongst the artifacts and displays chronicling Steve’s time as the Star-Spangled-Man-With-A-Plan, they talked about their families and what it was like readjusting to normal life after the Battle of Earth and their defeat of Thanos.

“Yeah, I’ve been at home with my sister and my nephews; man, when I left, they were babies and when I come back, they’re little men.” (Y/N) smiled as Sam talked about AJ and Cass; she’d gotten close to Sarah and the Wilson boys during the Snap and paid them several visits throughout the five-year ordeal, knowing that Sam wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for her if their roles were reversed. “It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Well, you should bring ‘em out to D.C. sometime, I’ll teach ‘em how to fly…you know, I mean, the right way.”

Sam scoffed and Rhodes chuckled as (Y/N) led them into the next room, squaring her shoulders as she prepared to broach the topic that they’d all been conscientiously avoiding. “Crazy to think that nobody’s going to be carrying the shield…”

“Hey, we went for seventy years without anybody carrying it when Steve was on ice, so I think we’ll be all right.”

Rhodes gave him a pointed look. “That was a different time, Sam.” They walked past Steve’s old motorcycle and artifacts belonging to the Howling Commandos in heavy silence, and it wasn’t until they entered the next room that the colonel spoke up. “So, you’re gonna make me ask?” They stopped by a display entitled ‘A Final Mission’ and he gestured towards Steve’s photograph. “Why didn’t you take up the mantle?”

Sighing, Sam tucked his hands into his pockets and looked down at his dress shoes. “When Steve first told me about the shield, the first words I said were ‘it feels like it belongs to someone else.’ That someone else is Steve.”

(Y/N) exchanged a knowing look with Rhodes and they followed Sam into a space filled with screens projecting World War II propaganda posters of Captain America intermixed with old photographs from his time in the field. She knew better than to try and argue with Sam about his decision – it was his decision, after all – but there was a spark of hope igniting within her that perhaps Rhodes could talk some sense into him. “The world’s a crazy place right now. People are…well, nobody’s stable. Allies are now enemies, alliances are all torn apart…the world’s broken. Everybody’s just looking for somebody to fix it.” Sam hummed thoughtfully as they walked into the last room, which displayed a mannequin dressed in Steve’s World War II tactical uniform and the glass case containing the shield; just as it had that fateful day she’d run into Steve visiting his own exhibit, seeing his possessions on display for the world to see felt wrong to her and she had to force herself not to reach out and touch the uniform that protected her husband from harm throughout one of the most devastating wars in their country’s history. “It’s a new day, brother.” He patted Sam’s arm and smiled. “I’ll be in touch.”

“Stay safe out there, Rhodey.” (Y/N) gave the colonel a hug and watched him walk through of the exhibit’s exit. “You know, he’s really started growing on me. He’s still annoying as hell, of course, but he’s slowly but surely becoming tolerable.”

Her best friend smiled humorlessly and nodded towards the shield. “So, now it’s your turn to try and guilt-trip me about giving up the shield?”

“If I wanted to do that, then I would’ve done it last week when you called to tell us what you were planning on doing.” With one last look at the shield, (Y/N) turned her back to it and took hold of one of Sam’s hands. “You are your own person, Sam Wilson. No one can tell you what to feel or how to think, and they sure as hell can’t tell you what to do. If there’s anything you need, anything at all, then Steve and I will be there for you no matter what. You read me, Birdbrain?”

Sam’s features relaxed as he squeezed her hand and gave her a firm nod. “Loud and clear, Booksmart.” They continued to hold hands as they walked out of the exhibit and through the lobby of the Air and Space Museum. “You heading back up to Maine today?”

“Yep. I’ve got a few hours to kill before my flight out of La Guardia, so I’m going to stop by our house in Brooklyn to make sure everything’s okay.”

“Well, if you happen to run into that Bionic Man with the staring problem while you’re there, tell him he needs to step into the twenty-first century and learn how to answer calls and texts.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As much as (Y/N) loved the peaceful life they’d been living in Maine, she couldn’t deny that she’d missed the unique atmosphere of Brooklyn. She checked on their house and after locking up, she drove her rental car the short distance from Windsor Terrace to Red Hook and walked through the neighborhood with a smile on her face; she stopped by a small coffee shop and carried her drink tray into the nearby apartment building, keeping her head down as she made her way up to the third floor on the off-chance she’d be recognized and tapping the toe of her Converse sneaker against the furthest door down the hall.

“Who is it?”

(Y/N) smiled to herself as she replied, “The doll who just carried hot chocolate and muffins up three flights of stairs for your geriatric ass.”

The door opened a moment later to reveal Bucky, a curious and almost hesitant expression on his face as his blue eyes scanned the hallway before settling on her. “A little far from home, aren’t you?”

“Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d drop by to visit a good friend.” She lifted the drink tray and paper bag and continued in a comically-enticing voice, “I even brought some hot chocolate and chocolate-chip muffins for him…”

Bucky’s lips curved into a reluctant smile as he stepped aside and let her enter his apartment. “Did Romanoff teach you how to identify people’s weaknesses like that, or is it just a God-given talent?”

“Mostly God-given, but I may have picked up a few pointers from her; she also taught me how to throw knives.” (Y/N) set the food and drinks down on the kitchen counter and hummed along to the record spinning on his turntable. “Duke Ellington. He’s right up there with Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller for me, and he’s definitely the best jazz pianist to come out of the 40’s.”

The super-soldier made an impressed noise. “I’m glad that someone else around here has the same appreciation for good music; although, your appreciation might have a little something to do with the fact that you married a geriatric ass.” He grinned as she laughed at his teasing and started pulling their muffins out of the bag. “So, what brings you back to Brooklyn?”

“I attended the Captain America exhibit re-opening in D.C. this morning and since my flight back to Maine isn’t for a couple more hours, I decided to check on our house in Windsor Terrace and stop by to see how you’re doing.” Bucky took a sip of his hot chocolate and scowled while he peeled the wrapper off the muffin, his displeasure practically rolling off of him; he was more than annoyed when she’d called the week before to tell him what Sam decided to do with the shield, and it seemed as though his attitude hadn’t improved much since. “It’s a shame you decided not to go; I would’ve gotten a real kick out of watching the museum guides try and stop you from breaking into display cases and taking your old stuff back.”

The super-soldier didn’t acknowledge her attempt to lighten the mood as he picked his muffin apart with his vibranium hand. “So, what does Steve think of all this? About Sam just throwing away the shield?”

(Y/N) sat down on the chair beside the kitchen counter and nibbled on her own muffin before answering, “He was a little surprised but he trusts Sam to make his own decisions, the same as I do.” Bucky let out a snort of derision and she pursed her lips to keep her annoyance in check. “Why the sudden care in what Steve thinks, anyhow? You’ve barely spoken to him in the past six months and when you have, it’s never been for any longer than a few minutes. He doesn’t say anything out loud because he’s too proud, but he feels like you’re purposefully pushing him away.”

“I…my therapist said that I need to figure things out on my own right now…”

“Bullshit. I’m in therapy too, Bucky, and I’ve learned that nurturing friendships is an important component to healing from trauma; friendships provide support, and there’s no such thing as too much support.” Her heart clenched as he stubbornly stared down at the kitchen counter; moving as slowly as she could, she lifted one of her hands and gently rested it atop his flesh one, taking it as a good sign that he didn’t flinch away from her touch. “Your life hasn’t been easy and it sure as hell won’t get easier any time soon, but you’re not alone anymore. The fact that you let me into your apartment is insurmountable proof that you’re at least trying, and all I’m asking is that you keep on trying.” After a long moment, Bucky nodded and (Y/N) gave his hand a gentle squeeze before pulling away. “Carina loves that stuffed wolf you sent her.”

A smile slowly tugged at the corner of the super-soldier’s lips as he glanced up at her. “She does?”

“Mm-hmm, she never puts it down.” (Y/N) pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through her photos until she found the photograph she’d been searching for; Carina was fast asleep in her crib and her little fist was wrapped around the fluffy tail of a stuffed white wolf. “You should’ve seen the meltdown she had when we took it away to be washed; I’d never cussed out a washing machine or a dryer for taking too long quite like that before.”

Bucky took another sip of his drink and shrugged. “Well, stubbornness does run on both sides of the family.”

(Y/N) glared in mock-outrage while the super-soldier snickered and devoured the rest of his muffin; she took the opportunity to glance around the rest of his apartment, noting the lack of furniture and the makeshift bed on the floor in front of the television. “So, what do you get up to outside of your court-mandated therapy?”

“I’ve, um…I’ve got a friend. His name’s Yori and we get sushi for lunch on Wednesdays. I also…well, I sorta had a date last night; it didn’t go very well, but considering it’s been about eighty years since the last one…?” He sighed and rubbed a weary hand over his eyes before continuing. “I really am trying, doll, it’s just…the only calm I’ve known in the past century was in Wakanda, and it’s hard not to think that it might’ve been some sort of cosmic fluke. Now that I’m free to do whatever I want with my own life, I don’t even know where to begin.”

Although she could sense that there was something else he was holding back from her, (Y/N) nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. “It seems to me like you’re getting off to a good start. You know, if you’re not comfortable talking to Steve or Yori or anyone else about all this, then maybe you should consider talking to Sam?” Predictably, Bucky grumbled under his breath at the mention of Sam’s name and she rolled her eyes in exasperation. “I really don’t get why you two don’t get along. Sam’s a great friend and while he might not say it out loud, I know that he’s worried about you. At least promise that you’ll think about it?”

“…I suppose, but only ‘cause you asked so nicely.” The super-soldier shook his head and arched a brow at her. “Seriously, how the hell does that punk win any arguments with you when he’s got those (Y/E/C) eyes staring back at him?”

(Y/N) shrugged and gave him an innocent smile. “Must be my own special superpower.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m starting to feel like this was all just an elaborate excuse to see me dolled up…”

Across the room, Steve’s azure eyes remained trained on his canvas but crinkled as he attempted to hide his smile. “Hey, I can’t help the ideas that pop into my head whenever you’re around, sunshine. I’m an artist, remember?”

“Mm-hmm, but you might want to work on your professionalism, because I’m pretty sure that artists aren’t supposed to ogle their models while they work,” (Y/N) playfully teased, making sure to keep as still as possible and not change the pose Steve had placed her in nearly three hours before; what she wore wasn’t exactly risqué – a black turtleneck sweater, an auburn high-waisted skirt, opaque black tights and heeled ebony ankle boots – but the outfit paired with her styled hair, expertly-applied makeup and the slightly provocative way she was seated on her office’s desk seemed to be enough to rile her husband up. His attraction to her was rivaled only by his commitment to his art, but it was only a matter of time before one gave way to the other. “If we don’t have anything scheduled for this weekend, I was thinking that we could take a drive down to Essex and hit up the antique shops, maybe grab some lobster rolls for lunch?”

“Sounds good to me…” With a final flourish of his paintbrush, Steve leaned away from the canvas to examine his work and gave it an approving nod. “Okay, I’ve gotten about as much done as I can with this lighting, so I’ll have to work on the details some more tomorrow morning.” He set his brush and palette down before crossing the room and helping her sit straight as her muscles ached in protest. “Thank you again for posing for me, baby. Is there anything I could do to repay the favor?”

(Y/N) pretended to think his offer over before giving him a mischievous grin. “There might be one or two things you could do, but I would be remiss to ask them of such a professional artist as you, sweetheart.”

“Screw professionalism.”

She laughed as Steve’s hands cupped her face and his lips captured hers in a heated kiss that she was quick to return; her arms moved to loop around his neck and as she pulled him closer, one of his hands traveled down to rest on the curve of her waist. He moaned when her lips trailed kisses along his jaw and down his neck but just as his fingers began to fiddle with her skirt’s zipper, a loud wail emanated from the baby monitor on the desk. “Poor baby, that new tooth must really be bothering her…” (Y/N) sighed in sympathy and gave Steve a chaste kiss on the lips before hopping down from the desk. “I’ll go grab the teething ring from the freezer.”

“Okay, I’ll go get her.” Steve snatched up the baby monitor and followed her out of her office, stopping at Carina’s nursery and crooning as he entered, “It’s okay, angel, I’m here now…”

After retrieving the teething ring from the freezer, (Y/N) kissed Carina’s tears away and gave her the plastic device to gum, heading into the living room to put an episode of Kitchen Nightmares on; for some strange reason, Gordon Ramsay and his infamous yelling was the only thing that seemed to help calm the seven-month old down. She switched the television on but just as she prepared to change the channel, she realized that Senator Smith was in the middle of giving a press conference on WHiH and a cold chill went down her spine as she listened to his speech.

“Unrest in the wake of recent events has left us vulnerable. Every day, Americans feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us.”

“That son of a bitch,” (Y/N) breathed, eyes wide in disbelief as she watched the scene unfolding on the television screen before her. “Rhodey was right…”

“(Y/N)? Sunshine, what’s wro-?”

“So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America!”

Covering her open mouth with her hand, a horrified (Y/N) watched as Senator Smith stepped away from the podium and a Caucasian man dressed in a red, white and blue uniform walked out onto the building’s steps. He waved at the crowd of journalists and photographers eager to document the breaking news, and strapped to his left arm was the vibranium shield that Sam had given up. (Y/N) looked over to see Steve standing in the doorway with Carina and her stuffed white wolf in his arms, a mixture of shock, anger and betrayal in his azure eyes as he watched the new Captain America smile and wave for the cameras.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I had so much fun working (Y/N) and Steve into this series, and I can’t wait for you guys to read what’s coming next! Updates might be a bit more sporadic than usual but I’m hoping for a chapter every two weeks (still haven’t decided which works best with my schedule and mental health), so make sure to stay tuned for more!

Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ziGMhEsAw833GQ9eV44nR?si=6dfead09c76848d5

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Part II)

Stumblin’ In Book VII: “Superhero Snapshots” Masterlist

Stumblin’ In Book I: “The Winter Soldier” Masterlist

Tagging: @mrs-obrien @lahoete @awkward117 @cminr @natdrunk @momc95 @savedbystyle @miraculouscloud @awkwardnesshabitat @marinettepotterandplagg @mangosandmimosas @supersouthy @benakenalove @brooke0297 @hufflepeople @becausewelie @outoftheregular @junipermurdock @ladydmalfoy @mads-weasley @username23345 @crist1216 @capswife @lilmschild @avngrsinitiative @crowleysqueenofhell @y-napotat @mary1raven @groovy-lady @ljej95 @innersublimefury @prettysbliss

#stumblin' in #steve rogers x reader #post serum steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #post serum steve rogers #sam wilson #falcon #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #james rhodes #war machine #john walker #captain america #the falcon and the winter soldier #captain america and the winter soldier #marvel cinematic universe

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burberrycanary · 7 months

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I, too, want to procrastinate right now so thanks @zenaidamacrouras1 for the tag <3333

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

I’ve been on a writing streak lately and I’m usually most excited by what I’m currently working on. But, taking a look back, here are some works I’m proud of.

Still Left with the River (The Paradox of Motion) - 14k | G | Steve/Bucky, MCU

Summary: Coming back from as good as dead to a changed world is easier the second time around. But then Steve supposes that, like with most things, you get better with practice.

A post-The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Stucky Endgame fix-it where even if you can’t go home again, you’ve got to go somewhere.

This is part of my massive labor of love stucky end game fix-it and probably my favorite story in the series, viewed individually. As I was writing this I went: no one is going to want to read a G-rated post-TFATWS stucky fic that doesn’t provide pretty immediate shippy gratification. But I love watching Steve have to pick himself up and go on after making a huge mistake that deeply hurt the people he loves most. While it can be cathartic as a reader to watch the people Steve left behind be furious, chewing him out until Steve has suffered some amount that’s “enough,” what I wanted to focus on is how hurting and disappointing the people closest to you, who continue to love you painfully through the hurt, creates such a complicated mess of damaged relationships. Steve, re-isolated by so much death and his own mistakes, now has to deal with repairing what he put wrong, if he can and if he’s given the chance to. But as the paradox of motion title would suggest, crossing that distance isn't easy.

This story is a quiet complicated love letter to New York City while this whole series is a massive intricate love letter to Bucky Barnes. Plus, Steve quietly pining is so my jam I can’t even. Come for Steve pining, stay for Steve making things right again.

What the Living Do - 10k and counting | G-E ratings | Henry/Alex, RWRB

Series Summary: This story is set a few months post-film and in a better universe than ours. Henry divides his time between New York and Kensington Palace. Alex is a second year student at Georgetown Law in Washington D.C. and lives in the White House. The distance is hard, but they're making it work.

We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss—we want more and more and then more of it.

The epigraph of this series is from Marie Howe’s What the Living Do, which is a poem she wrote to her brother who had died from AIDS. It beautifully balances grief and living.

I’m drawn to characters who aren’t going to immediately tell you everything they are thinking and feeling—and to performances where so much is conveyed through micro-expressions that you don’t need dialogue.

Which means this RWRB series is an interesting challenge for me as an author that’s involved writing a lot of very direct communication all the way up to out-in-out Relationship talks. And a lot of fluff. But thanks to the series being told from Henry’s POV, it’s fluff in a minor-key mood. So if you like your bantery domestic fluff shot through with slowly healing grief and the lingering impact of spending years in the closet without a supportive family only to be traumatically outed, then this is the series for you.

The Art of the Possible - 9k | M | Sharon-centric, TFATWS/MCU

Summary: Maybe whether you’ve picked the wrong side depends on where you’re standing—but if you can’t tell who the sucker at the poker table is: it’s you.

Sharon before, during, and after Madripoor.

I had so much fun writing this with @village-skeptic though it is absolutely not a story for everyone: non-linear and less than straightforward without the hook of a popular ship. Maybe I’m just drawn to characters the MCU keeps doing dirty (cough Bucky cough), but the incoherently bad writing of TFATWS created openings to tell a story that focuses on the bleakly dark aspects of the thematic and subtextual storytelling that is foundational to the MCU. And Sharon was the right character for telling that story.

But for anyone troubled by the politics of the MCU? This is a story for you and I hope you give it a try.

The trick to telling a story with heroes is knowing when to stop and what to leave out.

I Leave This at Your Ear - 5k | E | Betty/Jughead, Riverdale

Summary: They sort of break up again on February 17 and definitely get back together on March 15. They barely talk between “the Valentine's Day massacre and the ides of March,” he jokes later, sitting next to her in a booth at Pop’s and hoping that she’ll slide closer to rest her head on his shoulder like she used to.

Ah, the brief golden age of Riverdale when that sandbox was fun to play in. This is probably the single best expression of my style as a writer: lyrical, a lot more show than tell, starting in medias res with people talking around strong feelings that are conveyed without being directly mentioned much of anywhere. I’m drawn to focusing on the hard and messy parts of relationships without the big drama of external angst or the relatively easy knots to untie that are misunderstandings—a Marmite tendency, I know. But I love thinking about the part where you go, ok, but how do we actually live with everything that’s happened? Getting back together is easy in comparison to going forward afterward—that is what’s hard.

Exactly the Contents of One - 6k | M | Starsky/Hutch, Starsky & Hutch

The day's smoggy and breathless, already in the mid-eighties with the weatherman promising worse tomorrow, but as long as they keep moving it's not so bad.

(Or, becoming Starsky and Hutch.)

I definitely have a type: two characters who are very different people but share common values and are fighting for something bigger than themselves—idealists who get all mucked up and worn out in the trenches while loving each other too deeply and too much, generally in ways that are at odds with the society around them. Yeah, that’s my ship type.

This is a throwback pick for an old fic, but I’ve always been interested in how slash developed as a genre and a subculture. I ended up taking a tour of some OG ships from the 60s and 70s, including going pretty deep down a Starsky/Hutch rabbit hole (the 70s TV series and not the film remake, I cannot emphasize enough). I was nervous about signing up for this because there was a 5k minimum word count and at the time I’d never written anything near that long. So, wow, I’ve come a long way.

I'm not sure how long this game has been going around, but if @skarabrae-stone, @sullypants, @beaarthurpendragon or @controlofwhatido haven't played yet and would like to, please have some self-rec love 🥰

#self rec tag game #thanks for the tag!#<333 #my fic

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youlikefanficdontyousquidward · 9 months

Text

Phoenix Project

A rogue Hydra agent, Tomas Weber seeks to find previous experiments in order to mount an attack against the world. Natasha uncovers the plan and they move to intercept.

Can you believe this is all just backstory to get to Falcon and the Winter soldier fic? Yes I'm normal thank you for asking.

Marvel OC story.

It had been 15 years since that night, still the nightmare hung heavy on your waking mind. You were bolt upright in an instant, knife slashing into the darkness. It took several long minutes to slow your breathing, to remind yourself you were free. The car crash was a vague memory, the cold metal arm ripping you from the blaze more of sensation than a solid visual. The icy grip the first of the horrors HYDRA showed you. You showered, sure that the neighbors would curse you for doing so in the middle of the night. Still you couldn't stand the sweat on your skin, the heat too close a reminder to the fever you'd had. Eleven years old and strapped down as you thrashed against restraints. The serum burning every nerve raw, skin sloughing off before regrowing new. It was over now, you chanted in your mind. The cold water numbed you till your fingers pruned. You hunched alone in your flat, large fluffy hoodie tucked down over your knees. The TV was on but you couldn't have said what was playing. The sun rose, light coming in through thin curtains, illuminating your form still frozen in place. That was until the door bell went. You'd thought you imagined it at first but the second ring came with knock.

"Hello? I'm so sorry to wake you, my dog was clawing at your door…I can give you money, I'm so sorry, I can call the police for you…"

"No!" You shouted, straightening up. You took careful steps forward, listening intently. It sounded like a woman but something still felt off. An odd sensation of being watched burning into you. The sudden stabbing sensation came seconds later. Your eyes narrowed in on your letter box, open with a gun pocking through. You stumbled back, the tranq already taking affect. Your legs felt like lead as you fell towards the kitchen. You were loosing sensation quickly and had only one terrible plan. You tried to raise the knife but the weight in your hand was becoming too much to keep your grip. It clattered uselessly to the floor. The door opened, unlocked? You'd locked it the night before you were sure. Your vision blurred, tears filling your eyes. The figure was unclear as they walked in.

"Ready to come home?" A voice called, the recognition sending a bolt of fear down your spine. They crossed the space as you re-hid the switch. "No…" you breathed out. The face of Weber clearing as he approached. He grinned as the black dots consumed your vision.

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Sam was furious. Not only had some of HYDRA escaped but now one of them had some serious weapon power. A missile with enough blast power to level half the country. "We know where he's headed?" he asked. The faces around the table were stern. Steve looking to Bucky and Nat, while Tony stared out the window. "There should've been a tracker in there, but we got bupkis." Tony cursed, falling into his chair. He was taking it hard. That missile was his, meant to defend against alien threat but now it was in a rogue HYDRA officers hands. With everything from SHIELD fall to Sokovia he was in real need of a win and this certainly wasn't helping. "Weber was the officer in charge for the phoenix project," Natasha began. "Which was?" Tony grumbled. "Not real technically, it was a proposal SHIELD denied. A resurrection of Erskine's serum, using what was found of his first try with Red Skull." She explained. Sam watched Bucky, his face remained calm but he saw his right hands knuckles turn white. "Okay…and how does that help us." Stark gestured wildly. "I can scour those files in seconds but half that information is redacted or lost." He air quoted around that word. "Yes but I read around that, enough to know someone who's been there before." Nat turned to Bucky. He looked tense, jaw ticking before he leaned forward. "Old facility in the Alps…" He began. Stark clapping his hands together, mouth opening to speak. "But it collapsed almost 7 years ago." Tony's jaw snapped shut. "He could have went to one of the other sites." Bucky finished. Tony jumped up pointing to him. "And you know where they are?" He quizzed. Bucky sighed, nodding. "But there's more." Tony froze, sitting back down again. Sam felt relieved, the man was finally gonna let someone get a word in. "The project was real, they did recreate the serum." He looked pained a moment, some part of this memory too hard to speak.

"One of the subjects… they got out. I've…I know where they ended up." He strained.

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Bucky felt queasy in your flat. The place was a mess but in the normal way. You'd clearly tried to carve a life out for yourself here, even though the struggle to was evident. Clothes strewn, forgotten take-aways, bottles, cleaning not kept up and the general musty smell you got when you refused to open your windows. That was expected. You'd been through hell, he'd seen to that. No what made his stomach sink was the tactical knife laying abandoned on the ground. He was too late, Weber had found you first. Natasha moved around the room, poking at your scant belongings. Steve approached his hand coming to rest on Bucky's shoulder. "Bucky, what's eating you?" he asked. Bucky didn't want to say. Didn't want him to know about the kid he'd thrown to the wolves. The times later when he was called upon for your training. He still had nightmares of your screams, pleading, his betrayal. "It's my fault." Bucky started. "No, hey come on…" Steve started trying to comfort him but Bucky met his eyes. "No, it's my fault HYDRA had them in the first place. I took them. When when they escaped? I took them back... they were only free because I was on ice." He admitted though the flash of pain on Steve's face only twisted the knife. Time and time again they'd tried to tell Bucky it wasn't him, that it was the winter soldier. But he was the one who had to live with those memories.

"Hey, I got something." Nat called coming back to the front room. A black box blinking in her hands.

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You were in a cell. Cold, damp and barren. The door wasn't even locked but why would Weber bother to when the force fields were active.

Sure you could open the door but beyond that the energy field would force you against the back wall and fry you...again. All you had was the hope that your plan was working and when the light flickered you knew it had.

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Sam rushed through the compound. Weber was in here somewhere, fighting or fleeing from the others. He and Bucky were searching, trackers showing your responder down these halls.

Still with the labyrinth of tunnels he and Bucky had split up. He had the tracker open on his hub, following twists and turns until he stopped at a open door. He drew his weapon, stepping in quietly. The room was bare quickly drawing his eyes to a small pool of dried viscera, the blinking tracker laying forgotten there.

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The blood poured down your cheek, the tracker abandoned. With the sound of commotion above, you guessed help had arrived sooner than you'd expected. Which meant you had to leave now. You blinked your healed eye, letting your vision clear a second before continuing to run. You rounded a corner, feet padding softly on the stone before you froze. It couldn't be? The winter soldier turned to you, your eyes meeting. You didn't scream instead scrambling away as fast as you could. The pounding of his boots followed and you felt tears welling. No HYDRA was gone right? Only scraps remained, so how did Weber have him? You ran right, cursing at the dead end ahead of you. Still he didn't fire at you, toying with you? He must know this place like the back of his hand. You shot eyes down the hall, no doors, no escape. "Wait!" He called after you. Your breath was rapid, a panic settling in that made your ears ring. A crushing pain through your skull forced a wail. You turned backing against the wall, as Soldat approached. "Please, stay back!" You shrieked, pressing as flat against the wall as you could. To your surprise he actually stopped, standing still with his hands raised. You let the tears stream, it wasn't like he'd never seen you cry before. Still cruelty wasn't exactly his thing, why was he mocking you like this. "Bucky?" Another voiced called out, a man you actually recognized turning the corner. The falcon? You'd seen him on TV before, an avenger, did he come for Weber? Then why was he… Bucky. That had been his name before, James Buchanan Barnes. Steve Rogers had found him. "Hey, hey, your okay," The falcon called out to you. His eyes were warm, a friendly smile ghosting across his lips. "We're here to help okay?" He inched forward, a hand outstretched. You stilled a moment, throat still to tight to speak. Your hand twitching before you let it rise. That's when the Iron man turned up. Landing behind the two before walking his way forward towards you. "We've not got time this place is set to blow, I'll take winter soldier 2.0 there." He closed the distance. They were going to trap you. Fear solidified, rage rising to meet it. Without a word you scaled his suit to the shoulders, leaping off over the others and rolling on the ground. You didn't spare a second to watch a reaction, instead breaking into another sprint. There was no plan, just a feral flee, voices calling after you. Bounding through an open door, leaping down stairs, scrambling away. You heard their pursuit though you'd prayed they'd heed their friend's warning. This place was gonna blow, which was fine by you. If the place crumbled a top you it'd be fine. You'd survived worse and the pain was worth not getting taken again. You prayed they'd only seen the same leaked information you had. It was scant and if you didn't know more it'd be hard to connect you to it. It was one of thousands and the file photo was a 16 year old you with a shaved head. "Please this place is gonna come down, you'll die!" A voice called, to your left on the opposite cat walk, Steve Rogers kept pace with you. So they didn't know what you could do? Maybe you could get out again before they realized. A large piece of the ceiling fell on his side, blocking him from going any further. You paused, it'd been a close call, he'd just barely missed it. They'd keep perusing, until the base fell atop them too.

You cursed, moving to leave but you stopped. Looking back at the pleading face of Captain America. So worried about you he was going to get himself killed. So you surrendered, nodding to Rogers. The falcon swooped low and you raised your hands, letting him lift you. Your skin screamed but you kept a hold letting him fly you to a clearing. He dropped you gently on the ground, landing too close for you to make a get away.

"Everything's gonna be alright okay?" He smiled warmly at you. He was a hero right? You'd seen them all on TV before, they helped people right? So maybe you could try trusting them, at least for now.

It wasn't until you made it to the quinjet you realized how tense the rest seemed. The falcon frowning at them slightly before you felt a prick against your neck. You spun, Natasha not expecting the fist that connected with her face. You scrambled, swinging at any approach as they tried to calm you. The solider appeared from the tree line and you cursed at him until your speech slurred. You recognized the effects, this stuff took most folk down before they could react. For you? Almost a minute of struggling against iron man and Rogers restraint. You screamed, cursed, threatened and thrashed until the drug stole your sight and you slept.

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"What was that!" Sam demanded. "They were co-operating!"

"We don't know anything about them! Bucky's been pretty quiet about this whole thing." Tony rose to meet him gesturing widely.

Bucky sat stewing in the corner, Steve at his side. Whatever happened before you knew the soldier, not Bucky. Still Sam understood what he meant, Bucky clearly knew more than he'd say. He wouldn't keep quiet if it was important to the mission though, whatever it was he was protecting himself... or maybe you?

"Do we have anything on them?" Steve asked crossing his arms over his chest. He rounded the table towards Natasha but the documents were heavily redacted. More black lines then any text on each screen he looked to.

Steve was searching desperately, if could just get something to show Tony this treatment was unnecessary. Bucky didn't talk much about HYDRA but he didn't need exacts to know whatever they did to you was awful.

"No, well...just one thing. A medical report from one of the guards on duty." Natasha hummed, turning in her chair to face him. Steve frowned at her as she continued, only the tablet's back staring back at him. Nat hiding behind it, contents hidden from the room too.

"The man was admitted to the medical after the subject... injured his face." Natasha hummed still holding the file.

"Nat..." Steve began but she shook her head.

"There's a photo Cap, don't think you wanna see that." She started to explain but he met her eyes. She sighed handing the tablet to him, turning back to the mess on the desk. "Don't say I didn't warn you..."

Steve barely made it down half the page before Tony was at his side.

"They ate a man's face! No." Tony shouted, spinning to face Steve.

"Technically they just bit it off." Natasha quipped.

"They didn't find it!" Tony pointed at her before returning his glare to Steve. "They're unstable and for all we know a sleeper agent." He snapped, stalking towards the two way mirror.

"Look!" He pointed wildly. Sam stood by Steve across the room. Even from that distance he could still see them through the glass. The soundproofing stole the sound but he could see your scream. Thrashing body and wrists raw from straining against the restraints.

"I'm not saying anyone in goes alone." Steve continued. "It'll be Sam and Myself. We'll talk to them." Sam froze a moment though he supposed he was the best qualified to help.

Stark groaned turning back to you. Veins popping under red, sweat slick skin as he could read his name between your curses. "10 minutes." He relented.

"And the cuffs stay on." He called after Steve.

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You froze when the door opened, glaring from the gurney at the men. Captain America and the Falcon. They were quiet, walking in with concerned faces before stopping in front of you.

"We know what HYDRA did to you," Rogers began but your snort cut him off.

"Do you now." You eyed him, pulling again on the straps. You saw his jaw clench, his eyes casting down for just a moment. He was feeling guilty? Wilson too, he wouldn't meet your gaze. You couldn't be sure if it was just shame at your position but this bode well.

"Weber's got a missile that could destroy a whole state, if he gets to the other test subjects..." Roger's looked startled when you began laughing.

"Please Blair..." Wilson started. Your laughter abruptly stopping as you turned a glare towards him.

"You get that off my lease." It was a fake name but then all of your names were. You were upset with him, you'd really thought he seemed sympathetic but here you were.

"We're just trying to help." He continued, meeting your eyes. It was shocking to see the genuine pain behind them. Though it soured in you quickly. What did he know? He didn't know you, they couldn't know what you'd been through. What your capture by them would cost you.

"Help?!" you screeched. "You've sealed my fate here! I'll be a lab rat till the end of my days!"

Neither man seemed to deny that. Rogers looked to you again, a slight mist in his eyes.

"A lot of people are gonna die, good people. He's going after the other test subjects too, surely you don't want that?" Rogers stepped forward, a hand rising to you.

You lunged against the restraints, snapping at him. He recoiled, Sam stepping to him. You couldn't help the hysterical laugh that escaped you. Teeth gritting, tears threatened to spill again as the absurdity hit.

"The others!" You shrieked between fits of laughter. "The others are dead!" Your body racked, laughs developing into chocked sobs. "It's just me."

The men looked surprised, a silent understanding between the two passed. You regained as much composure as you could muster. Rogers pitied gaze grating on you.

"Weber doesn't know that. He's trying to amass a strike team of sorts we think. If we could get to him before he finds out, stop him now before he tries to launch an attack" Roger came forward, his hand moving slowly to you again.

You eyed the movement, out the corner of your eye you could see Wilson focusing on you. The anxiety was coursing through you causing your fingers to twitch. In flashes you were back underground, damp air and copper tastes. The doctors, the guards, Weber, all hands reaching, gripping, clawing at your skin.

Your wrist was freed and in the next moment your hand was too Rogers' throat. He was still, calm, a hand up to stop Wilson's intervention. His gaze still locked to your own. In a flicker you saw your Alec's eyes looking back and you let the grip loosen.

"We need your help." Rogers whispered. His eyes were too genuine and you relented. Hand dropping back to the bed as you sighed. You screwed your eyes shut, slamming your head back against the pillow a few times.

He was too much like him, both had the same righteous talk. Alec made a whole ten escape attempts. Kept as many others as he could fighting, resisting. When the base crumbled around you, it'd been just the two of you left trying to escape.

"I do this and you don't leave me out. I wanna be there when the last of Weber's hopes shatter." You met his gaze again and he nodded.

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Stark wasn't happy. Sam watched him frowning as you padded in with him. You'd glared at him but Sam could see the way your muscles tensed, the way you drifted closer to him. You glanced back to him, something like fear briefly crossing before you turned back.

He was familiar with the look you gave him. He'd seen returned soldiers do this before. Hell Bucky had done it when he dragged Steve to the hospital after they landed in the river. Attaching to someone for stability and he seemed to have been given that role. He'd been the first Avenger you'd really seen after Bucky. He'd been the one to come between you both.

He was only proved right when you flinched away from Natasha coming to near. He shifted closer, careful not to touch you. Seemed that was a big trigger to your outbursts.

Weber had sent out a message for any HYDRA in hiding to come to him. You were shown the code message, Tony still eyeing you from across the table. Sam could hardly believe the file Nat had found. It didn't match the terrified person. Nor the one who'd given themselves up when Steve had been in danger. Still all they had on you was that you bit.

"Bucky understood the german but there's a code there too, the sentences don't make sense." Steve explained, letting the recording play. Sam noticed you tense at the voice on the recording. Normally he could have put a hand on someone, centered them somehow. All he could do right now was stay by your side and leave you an opening to shift away.

"Yeah it's the same code they used before. Nurses didn't like us knowing what they were up to before they started." you answered, face flat and without any emotion to it. You were trying to stay strong, focused. Still Sam saw the white knuckles at your side.

"So? What'd he say?" Tony patronized. Sam cursed inwardly, shooting him a look.

"Not telling." You met his gaze across the table.

"You little... people are at risk here." Tony began.

"I know. I'm not giving anything till I have some certainty I get out of this." You continued your gaze bore into Tony.

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Sam lead you through the compound towards a room you could rest in. You remained twitchy, jumping at the sounds around you. It was hard to watch, no wonder Bucky's rehab had been so hard on Steve.

"There's a bathroom through there, you can get washed up. I'll get some clothes." Sam explained, as you passed into the room. You looked back at him with a frown as he hovered.

"You gonna watch?" You frowned.

"No! what no sorry, I'll leave whatever I find on the bed for you" Sam babbled, shrinking back. A slight bemusement passed over your features before you turned from him.

"Wilson?" you called back to him. He paused watching as you shifted under his gaze.

"You can call me Sam." He answered, giving you time to try say your peace.

"If... I know you cannot give me my freedom. Your country'd never let me just fade away again but if I helped. Would they let me come?" You stammered.

Sam could see so much bubbling under your skin. Anger, fear, hope. There was a bitterness in your tone, a need for revenge.

"I can ask." He smiled. You didn't return it but the nod you have him seemed lighter.

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You got your demand, though you should have suspected you'd be cuffed. Still it was a step away from confinement and one closer to an escape.

Sam, as he'd asked you to call him, sat by your side. He'd left large baggy layers of clothing for you after he'd left. Returning only to lead you to the others in the morning. He'd been kinder than anyone you'd ever met before, you wanted to trust him but it still felt wrong. He was working with them, surely that meant he'd turn you over when this was over?

Or maybe you'd end up like Maximoff. You'd seen her in the compound training with the red guy. Had she'd been free once, did she even know she wasn't anymore? Sure she lived in this space but the golden bars didn't hide the cage.

"We're nearing the location." Rogers approached taking a knee ahead of you to be at eye level. "Things are gonna be dangerous in there, please just stay here."

"No." You kept his eye, trying to ignore how much he reminded you of Alec. He was a good person, you could tell, he'd throw himself through the fire if it meant someone else didn't have to.

Alec had been with you till the end. The base crumbling under the weight of the ground above, supports failing, fire spreading. You'd already tried for the others, having to meet his eyes and tell him what you'd seen. He seemed defeated then, collapsing in the tunnel entrance. It took all you had left to drag him as far as you did but he was done. Bloody are near death he'd told you to leave him, escape alone but you couldn't.

You didn't know him as well as you'd have liked to but you couldn't bare leaving him to face his end alone. So you stayed, hand in his own, saying a prayer to a God you didn't know till the walls caved in.

It took days to crawl free, months more to find your way out of the mountains. You never felt you deserved a happily ever after that but you wouldn't let yourself be caged again.

So you snuck into the building with Sam, Natasha and Rogers. You had the codes to turn the missile off and they'd do the rest. Stark was waiting for his queue with the soldier.

You'd refused to let him come with you. The man had looked hurt which took you by surprise. Rogers' explained about the brain washing, trying to introduce you to Bucky. Still it did little to ease your mind.

It didn't take long to reach Weber. He was good but no one could take on the whole Avengers. Still he tried, firing a round of shots meant to hit Sam square in the chest.

It happened before you knew it. The bullets passing clean through your throat, chest, arms and embedding in the wall behind. You gurgled a swear before collapsing.

Sam crawled from where you'd pushed him, a fight breaking out behind you. His hands were warm against the chill that racked through you.

"Hey, hey easy, your gonna be okay, helps coming." He panicked out. You shook your head to him, the pain clouding everything but it'd be too late. The missile was engaged and if he didn't get that code in now it'd launch before you were back upright.

You flung your blood soaked hand out, smearing the numbers on the floor beside you. You met his gaze again, trying to insist he leave with shredded vocal cords.

"I'm gonna be right back." He assured, squeezing your hand before darting off. You hoped he wouldn't, the scratching feeling overcoming all pain. The itch coursing through, tingling down each nerve to each torn muscle.

The fight ahead seemed more involved than you expected, straining you lifted your head. Weber had back up? Other hydra guards and low ranking officers it seemed. Still Rogers was making quick work of them, Sam at the panel with...

Christ back up had arrived. You hauled yourself to a sitting position, a startled Natasha making eye contact across the room before another volley of shots took her attention.

She'd already noticed your proficiency at sneaking in here. If you didn't get out now she'd pass that on. With the healing found out too you were screwed.

Your body screamed at the movements, signals firing against raw new nerves or to still torn skin. The knitting of muscle and skin audible to you over the fight. Still you pushed on, glancing over the mayhem from your support on the wall.

They were winning, Weber getting cast flying over the railing by Rogers. He was up again swiftly, broken armor sparking as he glared at you,You met his stare, blowing him a weak kiss before trying to shimmy away.

He was on you in an instant dragging you to a false wall and through into a tunnel, It was brutal, slow and just all around painful. Still you pressed on, they'd be cuffing folk in a moment and you'd rather not be there to join the captured.

You had a much better chance finishing Webber off and trying for your escape.

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"Sam!" Steve called out, leaping down to Bucky. Sam left the man unconscious bellow him, running after them as they left.

"What, what's happening?" he called out, jumping out a window to fly along the side of the building. Bucky glanced to him as he activated his scanner. His googles reddening the building, heat signatures lighting up.

"Your friends run off." Bucky stated. Sam frowned, he'd seen the damage. There was no way you were walking off, one bullet had severed your spine!

"That part in the file. The bit about the explosion. You were wrong they didn't escape before... they escaped after." Bucky continued. Sam caught your body through his goggles, barrelling through the window ahead of you.

"Wait stop!" he called, putting his hands up. You stood, bloodied, hunkered over but alive, with Webber beneath you. He couldn't believe his eyes, you should be dead. Even with the blood loss still saturating the clothes, never mind the bullet holes. Though now he could see you up close again they were gone. Nothing but a pink circle on your throat to hint anything had happened.

"Y/n." You spoke, voice clear and not nearly as shredded as it should be. "My names y/n..."

"Y/n." You spun backing closer to Sam. Steve and Bucky approached. They had their hands up too Bucky having tossed his gun across the floor before you'd even turned.

Webber groaned against the ground but stopped when Bucky came into view. His battered body wouldn't be moving for a long while.

"Please..." you trembled out. "I don't wanna go back there...just...please" You whimpered.

Sam's heart sank, the desperation in your voice pulling him. He could only imagine what you'd been through before. You deserved a normal life, not whatever they could offer.

"Steve..." He began.

"They're right Steve." Bucky spoke to his shock. All eyes turned to him as he shifted his feet from cuffing Webber. "I... I remember you. What I did. We can't let our guys get them either Steve."

Sam breathed a sigh, he'd known there had to have been something. That you'd had to have met the soldier but the pain in Bucky's voice was something else. He was right, even a fraction of that was unacceptable. Even with all they could do for you, you would accept nothing less than freedom. You'd spend every day fighting for it.

Steve sighed, straightening up. "Your right." He pressed his com link, addressing the others.

"They're gone, we're perusing them south." He called, giving you a nod. "Webber's captured, Sam's got him" Then he and Bucky turned, running off following their fake trail.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Sam asked throat catching at your crying face turning back to him.

"Yeah" you sniffed. "I've disappeared before. Thank you Sam." You smiled at him, before hobbling away. He took a deep breath before heading to the window with Webber, they could give you a good head start.

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You were content. You couldn't say you were happy, not with the nightmares still plaguing you. Happiness still felt out of reach most days but others it was closer.

The refugees from Sokovia ended up in many neighboring countries, it was in one of them you found yourself today. A shelter for those in need that you worked in now. The pay was almost non existent but there was always a roof, a bed and food.

You'd spent some of the afternoon with the orphans. You still found it hard to take your guard down but they seemed to always weasel their way past you defenses. Especially the precautions brunette that seemed forever glued to your leg. At first you'd shaken her off, the contact making you squirm but as the days past you'd gotten used to her.

She reminded you of a child you knew before, with HYDRA. An enhanced though you'd never seen Lyla's ability. You'd just sang to her, kept her as comfortable as you could. Until the day she didn't come back from the doctors.

"Y/n!" She chirped from behind and you anticipated her tiny frame landing on your own. Only it didn't. Frowning you turned to the room, a puff of dust hitting your face. You coughed, anxiety creeping through your skin.

Then the screams began as a third of the building seemed to turn to dust in front of everyone's eyes. You did what you always did, hiding in the building as the outside world seemed to distend into chaos.

The days passed and a guilt gnawed in your gut. Every news broadcast a tragedy. Sam was gone, Barnes, half the world. It was desperate times and with that you made your way to America, to Steve.

You were returning to the compound today, another mission gone as well as it could. You passed through the rooms of the compound searching for Nat. You didn't dare break the silence, fearing something awful had happened.

Instead you were met with the sight of an emaciated Tony Stark.

"And you!" He shouted, suddenly pointing towards where you stood half hidden in the door way. The team turned to you, surprised at your sudden appearance.

"Tony please they've been helping..." Rogers began coming to your defense.

"What?! Little bit of target practice for everyone." Stark continued to yell. You kept quiet, clearly he needed this, need to blame someone. You let him, raising a warning glance to Steve.

"Oh yeah we all know about your little trick. Tell me, it stop you from dusting?" He ranted. "Or are these guys just keeping you around for organ donation!" Tony laughed dryly.

"That didn't work actually." You snipped, feeling your own anger rising to meet him. Tony stopped a second, meeting your eyes with a look between disgust and concern. Your anger fizzled away at the sight of him. You could only imagine what he'd been through to come back here. "My...uh organs don't work in doner bodies." You explained.

Tony hesitated then, Steve trying to turn his attention. It worked but only to turn Stark's anger to him.

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"Is there anything you can do for him?" Nat turned to ask, now Tony was hooked up to fluids and resting.

"I can heal any cuts or bruises but I can't really do anything about...the rest" You replied as passively as you could. You'd never much liked Stark but your anger with him had long since cooled down. He'd lost that Spider-kid up there, you knew the guilt and pain would be eating away at him worse than any muscular dystrophy.

Nat nodded, dismissing you to go to his aid. Without Sam as an anchor here you'd found yourself drifting closer to Natasha. She'd been accepting of your return and thankful for any help you could give.

You headed towards the room where Pepper was watching over him. It hurt to heal, worse to take someone else's injury into yourself but you didn't let them know. You'd all but convinced Barnes and the others that it was a reflex. That any sign of pain on your end was just an echo of your fried nerves. Steve remained unconvinced but seemed to indulge your lie. After all it eased his friends conscience greatly.

He moved to intercept you placing a hand on your arm. You flinched away from his contact, cursing yourself for reacting. It wasn't his fault, you knew that but you still struggled with it.

"Sorry...thank you. You really are helping here you know." Steve forced a tight smile. You knew he was trying to make you feel better. You'd had a rough time returning to them and you suspected Nat had given him some more insight into your past.

You nodded to him before heading in and greeting Pepper. At least she was happy to see you. Her and Nat had been the ones sending you where you were needed. Places were A&E hadn't been set up, into traps and nuclear waste disposal.

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It was to everyone's surprise when they found you at Stark's home. His little daughter dragging you around in a tiara and wielding a toy sword.

"So Y/n?" Steve asked trying to break the tension with Tony.

"Yeah, Pepper invited them over a few times. Take a lil break from being melted by radiation. Apparently they'd grown rather fond of her." Tony smiled, peering into the kitchen. He watched you settle beside Pepper, taking the plates from her to help.

"And when Morgan was born, they kinda stuck around between shifts at the hospital. They're here most weekends, unlike some of my other friends." Tony turned a pointed look to Steve.

Steve averted his eyes, he'd tried to keep in contact with you. For the first year he'd done well but then you'd pulled away and he'd let it happen. He'd done worse with Tony, barely more than a couple calls a year.

"You can stay with us for dinner but that's it." Tony stated before Morgan came to save him. He joined his family in the kitchen, leaving Steve and the others on the porch. Tony peaked across the breakfast bar, watching you squat down to talk to Morgan.

He'd never of guessed you'd return the way you did. Showing up to help when they needed you. He hadn't expected that from you but he'd grown closer to you in the meantime. He saw his own anger in yours, it was a defense and had no bite behind it.

When Pepper brought him in to help with a nuclear problem, it'd been his drones that saved you. Pulling your body from where you'd gotten stuck. He imagined what would have happened if he wasn't there. You stuck burning to death over and over till whatever made you tick finally let you die?

After that he'd looked into what you'd been doing to help and replaced that with more machines. Now all you took on was shifts at A&E where there weren't enough doctors. You still had a temper, a distrust of others but you'd softened a lot. Even opening up about Lyla when his daughter was born.

It was strange for sure but he'd began to think of you like a strange family member. Though he joked that to you that you were their babysitter.

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You were half away across the US when you saw the first people returning. You spent the next days dodging the chaos to reach Tony and Steve. Hell at this point given all Steve had told you about him, you would be happy to see Bucky!

It was Pepper that reached you first and from her grim smile you knew. They'd lost people in the fight and your heart sank. For you it was Natasha, Steve and her Tony.

You let Morgan hold your hand as her mother brought you up to speed. Stroking her hair as she played with your watch. It'd been a gift from her father and you took it off to let her hold it.

"I'm so sorry Pepper." You said when she grew quiet. You'd never been in this position. Trying to comfort someone after a loss. You'd never allowed yourself to be close enough for it to be a possibility before.

Pepper collected herself, swiping a tear before sitting up straight. She was trying to be strong, for the others, for Morgan.

"The government is trying to return to normal. I cannot guarantee what will happen if you stay." She began. "but you'll always have a place with us. We can falsify what happened here, pretend you were lost too?"

You mulled it a moment. You'd grown to love them, something you didn't think possible for you. But if they kept you here it'd put them at risk. You couldn't have them hurt because of you.

"I have to leave Pepper..." You began though Morgan's sudden grip on your arm made you stop.

"I understand y/n." She responded, ushering Morgan to come give her a hug.

"I gotta go see Sam, then I'll be gone. I'll be in the US until after..." You trailed off again. You'd never been to a funeral, you didn't know if you'd be invited.

"Of course." Pepper strained a smile that you couldn't return. Your heart was torn but surely this was for the best?

#marvel #ocs #my fics #sam wilson #steve rogers #tony stark #bucky #little less than super soldier

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