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mrdrwrites · 4 months

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Pairings: Oliver Quick X !fem reader

Summary: Oliver is upset because something happened at uni so seeks you for comfort. later in the night things get heated

CW: NSFW!! kissing, bad language, fluff that turns to smut, sub!Oliver dom!reader, handjob, blowjob, 69, pussy eating, praise, ma’am kink, orgasm denial

WC: 2k

warning: i am dyslexic so don't expect all words to be spelled correctly, also i don't autocapitalise my words

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

‘Oliver honey i’m home,’ i yell into the seemingly empty house, ‘Oliver?’

i make my way into the kitchen, setting down the shopping bags on the counter. i hear a sniffle from the living room and walk towards the noise.

‘Oliver baby, are you okay?’ i can’t see him but the shaking blob under the blankets on our sofa tell me he is under there.

i sit next to him and slowly move my hand to take the blanket off of him.

‘go away please y/n,’ his voice is low, broken, i don’t like it at all.

‘what’s wrong baby?’ i ask, hand still on the blanket.

he sniffles again and when he makes no effort to move i pull the blanket off of him completely. there he is, my Oliver, knees bent to his chest, his eyes red and puffy. It broke my heart to see him quivering and sniffling like that. My sweet, sweet boy. So small and broken yet still so beautiful. the whites of his Hiscobalt blue eyes had turned bloodshot, his lip quivering slightly.

‘what is wrong Oliver?’ i ask again, a few more tears escape his eyes.

‘it’s nothin’ i’m bein’ silly,’ his accent is particularly thick when he begins to talk, little voice broken.

‘Oliver, it’s okay,’ i assure him, cupping his face in my hands, ‘you can tell me.’

‘at uni,’ his voice breaks, ‘i was tryin’ to get to class an’ someone tripped me. im okay but my glasses broke.’

‘awh, baby,’ my hand moves to his hair, ‘it’s okay, we can get you some new ones.’

he finally looks at me. his face is tear stained and it breaks my heart a little.

‘really?’ he wipes his nose on the back of his sleeve, ‘you think so?’ my heart breaks a little at the sight of the man in front of me.

‘of course, we can book an appointment at the opticians tomorrow, how’s that sound?’ he gives me a weak smile, eyes still glassy.

‘okay,’ he leans forward and gives me a big hug, ‘thank you y/n,’ he speaks into my hair.

he pulls back and i give him a kiss on the lips.

‘i feel so silly,’ he wipes his eyes free of tears and chuckles to himself a little.

‘don’t. it’s okay to cry in front of me, you know this,’ i assure him.

‘thank you y/n,’ he mumbles, ‘for everything.’

‘don’t thank me silly,’ i get up, and go into the kitchen.

i unpack all the shopping and find Oliver asleep on the sofa, a movie playing on the tv.

i walk over to him and shake his shoulder a little, the time that is displayed on the living room clock reads 9:03pm, ‘Oliver baby, wake up.’

he opens his eyes a little and squints a little, ‘im awake.’

‘you coming to bed?’ i ask.

‘mhm, you coming too?’ he replies, eyes shining in the light.

‘of course,’ i smile down at him.

i go to our shared bedroom and get in bed, Oliver comes in a moment later. he undresses and slides into bed beside me and pulls me into him so he is spooning me.

‘goodnight my love,’ he whispers into my neck.

‘goodnight,’ i sigh contently.

an hour or two must pass before i’m awoken, Oliver is still asleep, his short breaths coming out rigid against my neck. his hips are rutting against the curve of my ass, his dick hard. he’s having a wet dream. little whines are coming from his parted lips. i open my legs a little, moving so his dick is between my thighs. i close them slowly, clenching slightly. he’s still sleeping when his pace picks up, pulling me closer to his chest. he’s fucking my thighs at a good pace, whimpering into my neck, still sleeping. i move my hand down to where the head of his cock pokes out from between my thighs and lay it flat. every thrust forward his tip is pushed against my hand. he gets louder at this and speeds up. humping my thighs like a deprived animal. i smirk to myself. i can tell when he gets close by the urgency of his thrusts. before he can cum however, i move my hand and open my legs. with nothing to rut against he lets out a huff of air. i wonder what he is dreaming about.

‘Oliver,’ i drag my hand up his arm that is tight around my waist, ‘Oliver baby wake up,’ i push my ass against him.

he jolts awake, pulling away from me ever so slightly.

‘Oliver?’ i question into the darkness.

‘mhm,’ he responds, tiredness creeping into his voice.

‘you horny?’ i know he gets shy when i’m vulgar.

‘shh,’ he scolds, knew it.

‘want me to take care of you baby,’ the hand on his arm reaches between my legs to stroke his dick.

he winces, ‘please.’

my hand comes off of his dick and turns on the lamp at the side of our bed. i sit up and turn to look at Oliver, his eyes are tired but his dick is rigid and swollen with need.

‘lay on your back for me,’ i pull the blanket off the both of us.

he obeys instantly and lays his head back on the pillows.

‘good boy,’ my hand travels down his chest towards his thighs.

when i get close to his erection he bucks his hips up, so needy.

i tut, ‘that how much you need me?’ i give his right thigh a light slap.

his eyes are now clouded with something other than tiredness.

‘yeah, just please,’ he whines, bucking his hips up again, ‘touch me.’

‘beg,’ i state simply, sitting back, legs crossed.

his eyes meet mine, then rake down my body. they falter slightly at the sight of my hard nipples but continue down til he just stares at my increasingly soaking pussy.

‘Oliver,’ i warn, ‘my eyes are up here.’

his eyes shoot to my own, cock throbbing a little.

‘beg.’ i say once again, reaching for his dick but stopping just before i touch him.

‘please y/n, please touch me. fuck, i need you so bad. make me feel good. i promise ill be a good boy. just touch me,’ he shudders when my palm comes in contact with his leaking tip.

‘such a good boy, Oliver,’ i praise, finally wrapping my hand around his cock.

he closes his eyes, whines and whimpers leaving him when i begin stroking him at a slow pace, he needs more, i know this. i dont give him it though, i want him to be a writhing mess by the time im finished with him. he moves his hips up when i get to the head of his dick on the fifth stroke. when he does so i take my hand away.

his eyes shoot open, ‘why did you stop?’ his cock pulses once again.

‘you get what i give you. don’t take more. do you understand?’ i look expectantly at him.

he nods, ‘i understand.’

‘so if you understand that why do you still move your hips when i’m touching you. am i not good enough? would you rather go back to sleep with an aching cock? huh? would you rather have me pressed against you all night, so close to slipping into my pussy, but knowing you can’t?’ i’m teasing him.

‘no ma’am, you’re more than enough. i just need you so bad. please touch me again,’ a streak of precum makes its way down his dick, pooling at his pelvic area.

i take a finger and follow the trail of precum up to his tip. he moans, loud, and throws his head back.

i wrap my hand around his aching erection once more and begin stroking him a little faster than i was before. i pick up my pace when tears fall from his eyes but stop when i can feel him tighten under me, knowing he is about to cum.

i bring my hand completely away and wait for him to recover before speaking, ‘we’re going to play the fast and slow game, okay baby? you think you can do that for me?’

he nods, ‘yes y/n, i can do it.’

‘good boy,’ i praise, ‘let’s get started then, start slow.’

his hand slowly begins pumping his cock, i watch him making sure his pace doesn’t slow down nor quicken.

after a few moments i speak up, ‘a little faster baby,’ he obeys.

the head of his cock had turned an angry red shade now, needing release.

‘go as fast as you can sweetheart,’ his hand moves fast, almost inhumanely so.

i see his orgasm approaching, ‘stop,’ i tease, his hand stops and moves away from his cock.

‘you’re doing so well baby. you’re listening so good,’ he’s panting and his cock leaks some more with each praise.

he gets calmed down again, ‘start fast baby,’ he does so.

his strokes are messy, he needs release and he needs it soon.

‘you think you can slow down a little for me baby, and only work on the bottom half of your dick?’ i ask, a plan formulated in my head.

he nods breathlessly, moving his hand down so he is going at a medium pace on the base of his cock. i lean over and take the top of him in my mouth.

he hisses, ‘fuck y/n. i’m going to cum.’

i pull my mouth away and slap his hand from his cock.

‘i’m going to suck your cock, you’re going to eat my pussy. is that understood?’ i plant my dripping pussy right over his face.

‘yes ma’am,’ he replies obediently and i lower myself onto him.

he licks and sucks on my clit like a starved man, i grind myself into his face and lean forward, taking his strained dick in my mouth. i take him into my mouth and hum around him, he thrusts his cock deep into my throat but i don’t scold him. with the way he is devouring my pussy i don’t want to stop him. he moans against my clit, hands on my hips, digging into them. he’s holding me down, almost as if he didn’t id pull away. i’m still working on his cock when i cum on his tongue, a moan escapes my lips, sending vibrations down his cock. he’s still sucking and licking on my pussy, sending me into overdrive. i take him deep in my mouth one more time before his nails dig into my hips and he jerks forward one more time, emptying himself into my mouth. i swallow everything and give him a few more sucks before pulling away from his dick with a pop.

‘you did so good baby,’ i say, trying to lift up from his mouth, his hands are still gripped into my hips and his mouth is still working on my pussy.

‘Oliver, let go or i’ll make you cum another three times,’ i warn.

he lets out a groan and lets me get off of his face. it’s all glossy in the dim light of the lamp and it makes me chuckle.

‘you look pretty,’ he comments, head tilting to the side.

‘you look slimy,’ i crinkle my nose.

he laughs but pulls me down into him, kissing me.

i can taste myself on him and i’d be surprised if he couldn’t taste himself. regardless of whether he could or not he continued kissing me like his life depended on it. only pulling away when he needed to breathe.

‘thank you for taking care of my y/n,’ he gives me another short kiss before getting up to wash his face in our bathroom.

i follow him a moment later to brush my teeth. we don’t speak til we are back in bed, facing each other.

‘you truly are my favourite thing in this entire world,’ he moves a strand of hair out of my face, ‘i love you so much.’

‘i love you too,’ i move closer and give him a long kiss, ‘goodnight baby.’

i turn around and turn the lamp off, Oliver moves closer to me and we fall asleep spooning once again. this time not waking up til morning.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

THANK YOU @lovandr FOR HELPING ME WRITE THE FIRST SECTION AND ALSO BEING THE PERSON WHO READS ALL MY STUFF BEFORE I POST. I LOVE YOU 😚😚

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abbysbunny · 7 months

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NEW STUDENT

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part two

plot: hazel joins a new school and maybe makes a new friend

warning: none, like a tiny weeny bit of fluff, this is low-key boring so:3+not proofread because I'm dyslexic and lazy

word count: 0.7k

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school. it's boring and confusing, but lucky for you a new classmate was joining you today. the bell rang, signifying the start of first period, you say down in your assigned seat and noticed the spot next to you was empty, 'huh weird' you thought, thinking nothing of it.

Ms.smith walked into the class with a short haired girl behind her, "good morning class, this our new student hazel callahan, be nice and give her a warm welcome", some people around the class said hi but no one really cared, she ajusted the sting of her backpack before sitting down in the seat next to yours.

you looked at her with a small smile on your face, giving her a little wave, she just glaced at you before turning around to pull out her notebook. the smile on your face quickly turned into a slight frown, you whipped your head around to face the chalkboard.

it felt like 10 hours had passed before the bell ringed, you finally had break. after a quick snack it was time to go out in the freezing cold, 'great, I'm cold and have no friends to hang out with' you mentally noted. suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder interrupting your train of thought.

you turned around and saw, hazel. she looked at you with an awkward smile before speaking, "um, Ms.smith said I could ask you to give me a tour around the school, is that okay with you?" she anxiously scratched the back of her neck, you thought about it for a moment, with a small amount of hesitation you said yes.

you grabbed her hand and led her around the school, showing her the bathrooms, classes cafeteria and even cracking a few jokes here and there making her chuckle, by the end of the tour you felt proud of yourself for maybe making a new friend. the bell ringed, again, and it was officially time for second period, today was gonna be a long day.

lunch was always loud and lonely, you grabbed your plate of suspicious looking food and sat down at an empty table guessing someone with a dog collar would sit down next to you and gush about some anime. surprisingly someone different sat down, hazel sat down.

"hey hazel, how're you liking the school?" you said in a hopefull sounding tone,"it's okay" your conversation attempt was shut down with her dry tone, you continued eating your french fries before noticing hazel was reading. 'reading? at lunch? with this chaos?' you thought.

looking at hazel really scanning her face you realized that she was actually attractive, like really attractive, usually the most attractive person at your school is a teacher who kinda looks like Sarah Paulson, but someone your age who looks attractive who's also gay? here that's crazy. 'wait is she gay? I mean she dresses like a little boy who just discovered urban outfitters' you were 99% sure she was, but...was it better to ask?

"hey hazel?" she quickly lifting her head, her eyes peeking out of her bangs, "are you gay?" hazel slightly choked on her sandwich before taking a big gulp of water. she looked at you with a confused look, "uhm, yeah I am but uh why do you wanna know...?" you thought of a quick reason without trying to sound offensive, "I don't know I guess I wanted to know if I'm the only gay person at this school...?" you awkwardly chuckled.

"oh well you're not I guess..." you noticed a light shade of pink on her cheeks, you opened your mouth to speak but before you could get anything out the bell rang, had it already been a half hour? 'fuck we have Mr.Gs class now' you sighed, "hazel since we have Mr.Gs class now and it's not that important, so wanna sit next to me and maybe chat a bit?" she looked at you for second and quietly agreed.

by the end of the school day you and hazel had actually gotten to know each other pretty well, you walked out of class together, her hand accidentally brushing against yours, making your face hot, "hey uh, could I get your number or Instagram, or whatever you wa-" hazel was cut off from her awkward ranting by your voice.

"yeah I'll give you my number" you exchanged numbers before saying your goodbyes, maybe school isn't so bad after all.

notes: this is my first post I'm so scared please don't be mean I'll pee my pants, also I rushed the ending😛 if you fruity people want a part two tell me😈

#hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms 2023 #bottoms movie #hazel callahan oneshot #hazel callahan fanfiction #ruby cruz x reader

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cornfowercowboy · 1 month

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When can I be free?

Chapter 1

The Bad Batch x bounty hunter!reader/OC

Warning: Mention of blaster wounds, blood, swearing, toxin relationship, slavery, death, Reader has Poliosis ( has natural streaks of white hair.)yelling, threatening, manipulation. Lots of Angst, like a LOT

Word count : 5850

Summary : You and your boyfriend are outlaw bounty hunters. You and your boyfriend are trying to disappear from the galaxy and both live a normal life together. But will happen when a few rebels stop both of you from delivering a package to the Empire ?

A/n: Hi! This is my very first fanfic, I have never wrote before and this is my first series I’m doing sooo I’m so nervous about posting this. I have no idea if I’m going to continue this but I really hope you enjoy it! Please excuse any grammar errors I made, I’m dyslexic so I’m so sorry if scenes or sentences don’t make sense :’) anyway, enjoy my very first post!!

Also check me out on AO3 !!! :D

(Also Readers bounty hunters name is Star! Star is not her real name :pp)

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Being an outlaw was hard in the big galaxy, but being an outlaw bounty hunter made it 10 times harder.

It’s been months since the republic had fallen and the empire had risen. Coruscant had changed a lot since, but that didn't change how you worked.

You and your boyfriend Michael have been on Coruscant for a little more than a month, laying low and waiting for big bounty hunters jobs opportunity to come up. While you waiting for a new mission to come in, your job (for now) is to work as a waitress at a bar.

And that’s where you are now.

“[ Y/n ]” you hear someone call your name. you turn around in your seat and find Michael there, walking towards you with a smile on his handsome face. You smile back at him feeling a warm heat coming from your chest.

“ Michael, sweetie..” you say, getting up from your seat and giving him a long warm hug. Michael was your everything, you knew each other your whole lifes. He was there when you needed him most..He loved you.

“How was work?” Michael asks you, as he gives you a small kiss on your cheek.

”Oh..you know..same thing every day Michael..” you say to him as you cup his cheek with your hand. Although how sweet the moment was, it quickly ended. Michael glances up at your hair and the smile on his face fades away into a disgusted expression.

“[ Y/n ] your hair!” He angrily whispered to you, looking around the room to see if anyone was watching. You panic at his words and pull a strand of your hair to find…white hair. ‘Shit’ you thought.

Ever since you and Michael started to become Bounty hunter’s he started to be..overprotected..at least..that's what you thought.

“I thought I told you to cover..THAT up…!” Michael said angrily to you, he pushed you towards the back where the changing rooms are. “I- I did- I just..-” you try explaining to him but he just cuts you off and sighs.

“ I don't care. Just-” he paused as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “ Just get ready and go to the ship. We have a job to do, AND don't take long” he said to you lastly and left.

You sigh angrily and start walking towards the employee changing rooms. That's when you paused and looked to your right. One of your coworkers was leaning against the wall with a sorry expression on her face.

“He’s still rough on you eh?..” she said to you, you smirked at her.

“When is he not sugar?” You say back to her, as you resume your walking. “You know…you tell me if things get bad..right?” she said back to you, making you look back at her. A Concerned and worried expression wash over her face, your eyebrows scrunch as you thought deep for a moment. You look back up at her with a reassuring smile.

”I promise, sugar”

—---------------------------------------------------

When you got back to the ship you immediately headed to the refresher so you could take a nice shower. The water was warm and inviting, the soap made your skin feel soft and warm. Something you needed after the day you had on Coruscant. When you got out, you quickly dried and dressed yourself.

Your outfit was simple for a bounty hunter, you wore a white button up shirt covered by a chest plate armor and topped with a worn down brown jacket. Your pants were black under some brown chaps, with some beat down brown square cowboy boots. You check yourself out in the mirror, man.

you looked good.

You smile to yourself as you tie a yellow bandana around your neck, before someone calls out your name.

“Star!” You hear Michael yell your name from the cockpit. “Yeah?”

“Get your ass up here, we're coming out of Hyperspace”

He yelled back at you, you sigh and turned to walk out of the refresher before you stopped and looked back at the mirror. You looked at yourself for the last time.

A strand of your [ H/C ] mixed with a little of your white hair was out of place. You stare at yourself deep in your thoughts. ‘It's just you.’ you thought for a moment. You snap out of your deep thoughts before pulling the strand of hair back in place, finally walking out of the refresher towards the cockpit.

“So what is our mission?” You say as you walk in the cockpit, Michael was sitting in the pilot seat pressing buttons on the control panel. “We're just picking up and delivering a package” He said as he pressed another button.

“A package?” you asked in confusion as you sat down in the passenger seat. “Honey we’re Bounty hunter’s, not some delivery guys..” you told him, Michael glanced back at you for a moment.

“ It's a special order,” He turned in his chair so he could face you. “From the Empire” Your eyes wide and your heart drops at the sudden news.

“The Empire!? Michael, are you trying to get us caught?” Michael only smirked at you before turning away. “Relax babe, all they said was go in and get the job done. No questions asked.”

“That doesn't mean we're safe from the law, Micheal!”

Micheal looked at you with an annoyed expression on his face, he rolled his eyes at you. “Star, you're overreacting. This is our chance to be free and live a normal life, without running away from the law.” He said to you as the ship jumped out of hyperspace. An uncomfortable silence swallows the ship whole, you sit there thinking in your thoughts.

Soon the ship landed, Micheal pressed a few more buttons before getting up from his seat. You sat there staring at him angrily, wondering why the kriff he’s so difficult to work with today. Micheal started reloading his blaster and packing more supplies in his bag. After staring daggers against his head for a good minute, you soon sigh in defeat as you stand up and start reloading your own blasters. As you put both of your two blasters in your holder, you look at the table next to you.

It’s your cowboy hat.

You stare at it, before picking it up. You smile, feeling the rough material on your hands. Suddenly a loud noise snaps you out of your thoughts, you turn around to see the ship door has lowered. Micheal stared at you with an annoyed expression on his face. “Come on star, we don’t have all day..” He said before turning around and started exiting the ship. You sigh at him as you put on your hat, before exiting the ship after him.

You take a deep breath of the fresh air around you, looking around the scenery. The trees surrounding you were bright green and fresh. You looked over at Micheal, he started to put a blue bandana over his nose and mouth covering the half of his face before looking at you.

“Just like I said Star, in and out. Just as easy as that babe.” You can't see his face but you can just tell he’s smiling under his mask.

You close your eyes in defeat, before opening them. You sigh as you take your yellow bandana around your neck and put it over your nose and mouth.

“This doesn’t mean that we’re done with our conversation Hun.” You say as you begin walking on a dirt path with Micheal trailing behind you.

“There should be a dealer meeting up with us to drop off the package just a few clicks from here.” He said behind you.

A few clicks had passed by, you and Micheal finally met up with a dealer. The dealer was loading out a big metal crate on a cart from the ship, about as tall as you and Micheal. The dealer had noticed both of you approaching him, he turned to face both you and Micheal.

“You must be Micheal and Star. You guys are here to pick up the package?” He said to both of you. His voice was rough, like he smoked for a living. It was disgusting.

“Yes sir we are,” You say as you observe the metal crate, before looking at the dealer and Micheal. “This is a bigger package than we expected..what’s in it sugar?”

“Eh, just some pet or somethin the empire wants.” The dealer answered back to you.

“Well whatever it is, it’s very valuable to the empire.” Micheal said as he got on the cart with the metal crate.

“Be sure to deliver this package with no damages, they said it needs to be alive when it gets delivered.”

The dealer nods at both of you before getting on his ship and flying off. You kept on looking at the metal crate while Michael was pressing buttons on the control panel, preparing to take the metal crate back to the ship. As you look closer at the crate you realize that there’s holes on the sides, breathing holes.

‘Hm..must actually be a pet then..’ You thought in your mind. ‘But..why would this pet be so valuable to the empire-‘

*SNAP!*

The sound of a tree twig snapping draws both yours and Micheal’s attention, Drawing both of your weapons up towards the source of the sound. Only to find a man in full clone armor.

“Maker dammit…” you mumble under your breath.

“Give us that crate. And no one gets hurt.” The man demanded, raising up his own blaster as 4 more armor men walked in with their own weapons in hand. All of them being different heights.

Rebels..

“Unless you're the escorting back up, we’re not giving you nothin sugar.” You say back to him coldly, both of your and Micheal’s blaster are pointing at them.

“Listen, just give us back the kid and we’ll be on our way.” The leader asked you, his voice was very demanding and smoky.

“A kid? There- there’s no kid here,” Micheal said with a bit of a trembling voice. Your eyes frown a little bit as you glance at Micheal, he notices your concern in your eyes.

“Oh come on babe, don’t believe this Rebel. He’s lying, let's kill these rebels and be on our way.” He said with a bit of an annoyed expression. Suddenly, a loud noise came from inside the metal crate that drew your attention away from the threat in front of you.

The loud noises sounded like banging noise, like...someone banging on the inside of the crate.

Panic started creeping in your chest as you glanced back at the crate.

“Don’t listen to him Star! He's making crap up so we could open it and let our bounty get away.” Micheal said to you as he kept his gaze trained on the five men. His voice sounded panicky.

The banging on the metal crate doesn’t calm you down, glancing at Michael then the 5 armor men before slowly turning around and walking closer to the lock of the door. Your hands tremble in more panic as you start unlocking it.

“Star- Star!” His voice sounded like he was panicking. He tried telling you to stop but it was too late.

You finally unlock the door. Your hands were up against it, keeping it in place. You started to feel that same bad feeling you had before. You take a deep breath, before opening it up slowly. The door was now wide open, and inside that big metal crate was…

A little girl with blonde hair..

With a shock collar around her neck.

A shock collar.

A Zygerrian Slavers shock collar.

The same slave collar you Ẅ̶̧̱͕̝͒͘̕̚o̷͖̻̘̬͖͑r̷̲̭͈̻̣̄è̴̱̔̚͝ ̵͓͕͑͑̐͗a̷̬̔͊̅͐̒s̵̠̝̊͗̂̚͝ ̵͍̮͎̳̋á̵͈̯̂͊̊́ C̵̛͓̘̪̪̓̿̓͂ḧ̶̬͇͙̭͉̠̲́̈͋í̷͇̮̥̪̹͕̻́̃̃͒l̵̨̨̥̠̲̳͙̦̩̈́d̴̮̣͓̖̠͈͉͈̦̯͖͐͜…

The world around you began to spin, you felt sick to your stomach. Your hands began to shake, and you realized you were breathing hard. When did you start struggling to breathe? Your body began to tremble as you slowly began to step back, away from the little girl. She looked so scared out of her mind.

“Star…”

You quickly turned around and saw Micheal, his bandana was not covering his face anymore. His face had a neutral expression, not shocked, not scared, nothing. You take a deep breath before talking.

“Did..did you know?”

“What?”

“Did you know!?” Your voice sounded more demanding and trembling. Micheal didn’t say anything back at you, he just kept quiet.

He did know.

He didn’t tell you because he knew you would have done something.

He knew there was a little girl inside and did nothing just for money.

“Let the kid go,” The leader of the rebels asked again. You stare at Micheal waiting for him to say something but he just stands there, doing nothing. You stand there thinking in your own thoughts, your heart is shattering to pieces by the minute.

“Why are you trembling, Star?” Micheal pauses before talking again

.”If we continue this mission, I- we! we..would be free. Together. Come on babe, Do the right thing!” He said back to you as his voice became louder and angrier.

Your eyebrows scrunched up and frown, your hands ball up in a fist in anger. Stepping away from him. “Sometimes doing the right thing is better than being free, Micheal.” You turned away from him, walking back towards the little girl. You hear Micheal sigh in disappointment.

“You never did listen to me, Star.” You hear Micheal press a button on the control panel and suddenly the cart turns on, making you stop walking. You turned to face him and tell him to stop.

“Micheal, what are yo-“

*BANG!*

…

The world moved too fast for you.

Your brain doesn’t even register what just happened.

You close your eyes as you feel painful pressure push onto your stomach, you feel the dirt ground on your back . Putting your hand on the lower side of your stomach you feel hot liquid touch your fingers. Blood, lots of blood.

You were shot.

Who the hell shot you?

Horrible pain settled on your stomach as your ears started ringing, your head was pounding. Over the loud ringing you heard yelling, blaster shots, and running footsteps. You didn’t want to open your eyes, until you heard a loud muffled talking over you.

You opened your eyes and looked up, the sky was now covered in gray and black clouds. You try your best to look towards the talking. It was the rebel squad.

They seem to be yelling at each other. As you look closer, you realize the cart that had Micheal and the girl was gone. Panic settles in your chest, only making it harder to breathe as you try to talk.

“T-The..girl..” You groaned in pain, catching the rebels squads attention. The leader of the squad squats down at your level, gently putting a hand on your shoulder. You can hear his muffle voice over the ringing sound in your ear, he sounded like he was asking you a question. You didn’t know what question he asked so you said the most logical thing.

“The ship..,” you pause as you take a deep breath before talking again. “Just..a few clicks away from here.. south…”

The leader nodded then quickly stood up and turned to his squad. The muffle voices seemed like he was commanding them, you closed your eyes and groaned in pain as you put more pressure on your wound. The ringing in your ears finally fades away, as you hear multiple footsteps fade away into the distance.

They must be going after Micheal…

The footsteps slowly go far away from you, you finally relax your body in relief. You sigh painfully before trying to get up from your laying down position, when suddenly a hand pushes your shoulder back down on the ground gently. Your heart dropped, your eyes shot open and you began to struggle to breathe again.

Did one of them stay behind to finish you off?

“Take it easy.” A calm voice said to you. You look over at the voice, a man in full clone armor with orange goggles was kneeling beside you. “Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. you're already hurt enough.” he said that last part under his breath, but was loud enough for you to hear.

“Why are you…” You stop talking when he takes off his helmet. His face was tan color, he had a firm expression like he was serious all the time.

“ Just calm down, don't waste your energy.”

He said putting his flesh hand on your wound, you whine in pain as he puts pressure on it. “I apologize for putting more pressure on your wound, but this will only take a minute to try and stop the bleeding. Please sit up”

You do as he asked, with another whine leaves your mouth in the process. He then gets out some fresh bandages, gently wrapping it around your stomach and your bleeding wound.

Slowly but surely patching you up. You look at him as he keeps wrapping the bandages around you. He was so focused on patching you up he didn't realize you were staring at him.

“Why are you..helping me?”

you said as your voice was muffled by your bandanna.Your voice snaps him out of his focused state, he locks eyes with you. He thought for a moment, his eyes softened as he looked at you. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it when a voice suddenly came through his helmet.

“Tech? Come in Tech! Where are you, we need you now!” This man who is named ‘Tech' quickly puts on his helmet back on a comms back.

“Just finishing up right now, we’ll be there in a few clicks” Tech said standing back up on his feet.“Here, let me help you up.” He then puts his arm under your armpit and helps you stand up on your two feet. You whine in pain again, feeling the blood rush back to your head.

“You are surprisingly taking this very well, have you been shot before?” Tech ask you

Your eyes frown in anger. “Multiple times, from Rebels like you.” You say as you pushed him away. Suddenly without his support your body feels way heavier than you realize, Gravity hits you down and you almost fall right back down onto the ground but was saved by Tech. Tech puts his arm back under your arm and you put your arm over his shoulder.

“I would not do that if I were you, you are still in a rough condition as of right now.” he said to you, you scoff back at him.

“Yeah no shit I'm not..” You say to him as you groan under your mask, you need to get out of here. You look up at him, his face close to yours. You just stare at him, his eyes had a concerned expression. Pity, Pity from a Rebel that tried killing you. How funny.

Tech comms went off again. “Tech we could really need you!” the voice said though.

“We are on our way” Tech said as he started walking you back to the ship. Suddenly you feel water roll down your head, it starts raining.

“Kriff! just my luck..” you say angrily, your blood was boiling by the moment. A few clicks went by and you started getting tired and drowsy, you both were really close. You couldn't give up right then and there. You feel techs eyes on you, he stays silent before saying something.

“Back there where I ask you, have you been shot before. what did you mean by ‘Rebels like you’ ?” you both stop walking, turning to look at him. Your eyes scrunch down.

“ Are you serious??” you looked at him in disbelief, you searched in his face to see if was joking.

He wasn't.

“Yes, I am very serious” he said back to you, he was genuinely curious. It makes your blood boil. You scoff at him again, before talking again.

“You guys shot me, you try killing me! Are you really that dumb!?” You started walking again dragging tech with you, his eyes widened at you outburst before scrunching down in confusion.

“ We didn’t not shoot you.” Tech said bluntly, you laughed loudly. He was seriously trying to lie to you?

“Heh yeah right, Rebel. Try lying to me again I might just put a blaster bolt in your head..” you said threatening him, though he was unphased about it and still had a serious expression on his face.

”We didn’t shoot you, It was your partner that shot you,” Tech said back to you.

You frost in your place before turning to him. “what did you just say..?” Your heart stops, time seems to stop for a click. Did you hear him correctly?

“Your partner, he was the one that shot you.”

“No..no! he didn't he just-”

“Yes he did, he shot you then took the girl without you. Which..is concerning since..you both looked really close.” he said back to you before walking again. Your mind was going everywhere and your heart was racing.

Did..Michael really shoot you..Just like that?

Leaving you to die by the Rebels?

Tech noticed your quietness, but said nothing. The only sound that was keeping you both company was just the sound of the rain and the faint blaster noises up ahead of you.

Tech kept on glancing at you, like he wanted to say something and he did. “I’m sorry for what has happened to you.” Tech said to you. You didn’t know if it made you more angry or sad than you already are, you just felt..

“I don’t need your pity from a Rebel like you.” You said bitterly. Tech just nodded and kept walking with you.

You and Tech both stopped walking in front of a forest of trees. Just beyond those trees was the real fight, a fight you didn’t want to face. The faint blaster was loud now.

Tech carefully sat you down at the bottom of a tree trunk all of a sudden, he stood up and ran towards the blaster sounds.

“Wait where are you-“

“Stay here, I’ll try to be fast” Then he was gone, running into the other side of the forest. Leaving you with your thoughts and the sound of yelling.

Your mind was all over that place, you felt so many emotions you just couldn’t keep up. You feel angry, sad, bitter, betrayed, and you just can’t think anymore. You swallowed down a bubble that was forming in your throat, you wanted to cry.

But you can’t.

You can’t cry now.

That little girl is in danger.

Because you failed.

You failed and were left to die.

Your blood was boiling.

You need to face this fight.

You need to face Michael.

You need to make him pay for what he has done.

Your hand slowly moves up the tree, grabbing the side and slowly pulling yourself up on your feet. You groan as you feel pain shoot up your body, you lean against the tree taking a click to breathe before you start walking. You grip the side of your stomach in more aching pain, making you limp as you walk.

As you walk through the many trees in front of you, you start hearing a familiar voice yelling really loud. The sound of Michael yelling. As you got closer, all you saw was the Rebel squad cornering Micheal with all their blasters pointing at him. In Micheal's hand was a blaster, and in his other hand he was holding on the blonde little girl's arm next to a cliff.

Your eyes frown down in anger and without a warning your body started moving on its own.

“Michael!” Your voice was loud and angry when you called out his name. Your presence shocked the rebel squad, and Michael himself.

“[ Y-Y/n ]” Michael’s face had a horrifying expression on it, his eyes were wide open like if you just came back from the dead.

“You…you left me to die!” You said as you limped over to him. “You shot me..!” The rain falls down on both of your faces.

“My dear…” Michael said as he hesitantly slowly walked over to you. “You're alive..” his try getting close you back away from him.

“You shot me!”

“W-what? My dear, I would NEVER do that to you! I love you so much..” Michael said to you, you glance over at the Rebel squad and your eyes find Techs. His eyes were narrowing down, but then they softened when he found yours.

You got the feeling he was trying to tell you not to believe in Micheal’s words.

“I don’t know what them Rebels told you, But they're trying to make you against me!” You look back at Micheal, give him your full attention.

“Believe me, My dear. Then after we kill ALL of them and take the kid, we both can be free and have a family together..” Micheal said, smiling sweetly to you. Days before this day, you would have believed him, tell him how much you loved him and how you loved to have a family together.

But that was back then.

“Okay..I believe you, My love..” you said softly as you limp over to stand beside him. Micheal sighs in relief before laughing and pointing his blaster back at Tech and his squad mates.

“See…everything is going to plan..” Micheal said as you take one of your blasters from your holder and your other hand still holding onto your blaster wound. You point up your blaster at Techs squad. Your eyes find Tech's eyes again, his eyes were filled with hurt and pain at your choice.

“After we deliver this little brat to the empire, we'll disappear without a trace!! Free from the law and live our own lifes!!” Michael laughed out loud in a psycho way. You stare at tech, before you wink at him. His eyes frown in confusion before realizing what you were going to do.

“I don’t think so.”

You pointed your blaster at Micheal and pulled the trigger. You shot him right in the back. Michael yelped in pain , letting go of the little girl in the process but quickly recovered as He pointed his own blaster at you and tried shooting you. You dodged the bolt and quickly tackled him.

As you tackled him, he began to fall down the steep hill but not without taking you with him. You both tumbled down the hill but quickly stopped as you fell onto the muddy wet ground.

You are now laying down on your stomach, your bandana and cowboy hat was now off of you, probably fell somewhere around where you landed. Your body was so weak and you felt your nose begin bleeding as you felt the rain hit your back. The bolt wound was hurting 10 times worse now.

You can't give up now.

Without another thought you feel someone standing over you, hands gripping your back and harshly flipping you over. Micheal was standing over you with a big smile on his face, his hand gripped around your neck, and he squeezed tightly. Your hands gripped his hand, trying to pull them off of you, you began to struggle to breathe.

“You kriffing whore..trying to kill me eh..? Will that’s too bad you bitch, you're stuck with me!” You desperately gasp for air, your body starts thrashing around. You started losing consciousness, the world around you began to fade to black when suddenly..

*BANG!*

The pressure around your throat was gone, you breathed in desperately before quickly punching Micheal in the face. Michael fell back on the ground, he held onto his nose as he groaned in pain.

You quickly got on your feet, taking more time to breathe feeling the blood rush to your head. You glanced over at the hill and saw one of tech’s squad members with a sniper had shot Micheal in the back.

You silently thank him, but quickly turn your attention back to Micheal. He was quick to recover from his sudden attack, quickly he took out another blaster from his holder and pointed at you.

Micheal was about to pull the trigger but you were faster than him, you quickly kicked his blaster out of his hand and delivered another punch to his face more harder than before.

Michael groaned in pain, he held onto his face. While Micheal was trying to recover, you slowly but surely picked up the blaster you kicked out of his hand and stood over him. You breathe in and out trying to control your adrenaline. Holding on to your side as the pain get worse.

When Michael regains his sense of reality, he looks up at you. He tries to get up, but you slowly point up the blaster at him.

Micheal looks up at the blaster pointed at him, his lips curling into a smirk. His face is bloodied and battered as he slowly scoot away from you.

“You know, I should have killed you the day we killed my pathetic father! But no, I didn’t because I felt pity for you being a pathetic slave!” Micheal said, venom in his voice. You don’t react to his words, but your face is twisted into a grimace of anger and pain as you just stare back at him and walk closer.

“ And here you are, being all tough and brave thinking you have the guts to kill me. Well you don’t, I still own you!” He said with a smug look on his face, despite his current situation as he keeps backing away.

“You're nothing but a pathetic whore, You hear me!? A PATHETIC WHORE-“

*BANG!*

….

Your ears ring as you stare at Micheal’s lifeless body fully laying down on the ground now. You slowly bring the blaster down, you look at it before throwing it at the ground.

You feel tears in your eyes, the pain on your stomach was unbearable now, you bring your hand that’s was holding your stomach up to your face and see fresh red blood on it. You looked down at your shirt, only to find it soaked with your blood.

Your adrenaline you once had was now fading away, so was your consciousness. Your body couldn’t hold up anymore, you fell to your knees. In the distance, you hear someone calling out to you slowly getting closer. You soon fall flat down on to the ground, you feel so tired.

“Hey! Stay with me! Just stay awake for me!” You hear a voice beside you. You try listening to the voice, but your eyes grow heavy to the opposite. You can’t open them any more.

“Don't close your eyes, just stay awake!…”

The voice was fading away and soon, everything stopped and went…..black.

…..

You hear a child crying, Crying out for their mother.

“Momma!”

You see a little girl with [ H/c ] and bits of white hair crying beside her mother's lifeless body.

“Please Momma, stay awake!”

The mother of the girl slowly brings up her hand to her daughter's face and cups it. The daughter holds tightly onto her mothers hand.

“Momma…please…stay with me a little longer…please…”

The mother's hand slowly goes limp in her daughter's hand. The girl slowly put down her mother’s lifeless hand on the ground.

“Momma…please don’t leave me…”

……

“Momma..….I’m scared…”

You shot up from your nightmare with eyes wide open, but quickly closed them from the bright light that was above you. You open your eyes, taking a click for them to adjust to the light. When your eyes fully adjusted you looked around, the room was white with a few cabinets and tables around it.

On the stroller table beside you had some medical supplies on it, you realized where you were.

This was a medbay.

Who’s? You didn’t know, you don’t want to know.

You sat up fully, but instantly regretted the sudden movement as you groaned in pain. You look down at your stomach and realize there’s bandages around it, you also realize you're not in your clothes you were wearing before. Now you were in some really big oversized blacks garments. That was clearly not yours.

“You're awake!”

You shot up from your sitting position at the sudden voice, you stood up in horror as you looked around the room to find where that voice came from. In the process you backed up to a side of the stroller table harshly, making some of the medical supplies drop to the floor. Your heart was pounding all over the places.

“Woah! Calm down, It’s okay…”

You finally found where that voice came from and to your surprise, it was the little girl with blonde hair. Your eyes widened at her but not before you quickly closed them as you groaned in pain again, this time much worse.

The girl quickly brought you down to the cot, you gripped your stomach as you scoot away from her.

“Shhh..it’s okay..take it easy.” The little girl said to you, trying to calm you down.

“Just take a deep breath, like this!” The little girl breath in and then out slowly, you stare at her before you close your eyes and follow her steps.

Breath in…breath out…

Your heart rate soon went down, you slowly opened your eyes and found the little girl already staring at you.

“Better?” You nod at her not trusting your voice, she just smiles brightly at you before continuing talking.

“Anyway, my name is Omeg-“

“Omega!”

A voice of a man snaps yours and Omega's attention away from each other, you both looked over at the door. A man with long brown hair and a red bandana was standing in front of the door, his face had a skull tattoo on it. Right behind him was another man, his skin was pale and had mechanic parts, as if he was part-droid.

“I thought we told you to tell us if she wakes up.” The man with the red bandana and skull tattoo said his voice was smoky. He fully walked in the medbay, the pale man behind him did the same.

“I was! She just woke up now.” Omega said, walking over to the two men. Both of them sigh tiredly, before pointing their attention to you. None of them said anything, they just stared at you. It made you feel weak under the gaze, the tension in the room got so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“So…got a name, outlaw?” The man with the red bandana said to you, his brown eyes were piercing at you like a knife. You sign in defeat, you know you can’t be the bigger person right now. You have to talk.

“[ Y/n ], My name is [ Y/n ]”

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franciswasteland · 1 month

Text

JASON GRACE X NAIAD!READER

MASTERLIST

Summary: Naiad!user (A freshwater Nymph) crushes on the son of Jupiter, jason grace, from afar. That is until he falls into the lake during the Camp activity of canoeing.

Warnings: Cursing. beware spelling issues, im lowkey dyslexic

Authors Notes: UGHHH I LOVE JASON. AND IVE NEVER SEEN A NAIAD!READER X ANYONE BEFORE Sooooo…!!!!!

You are a Nymph—a Naiad to be specific—who resides in the lake at Camp Half-blood along with some other Naiads. Unfortunately for you, the lake at Camp is also used for one of the Camp activities, canoeing. You don’t usually mind when the campers are canoeing, in fact, you somewhat enjoy it. But that’s just because of one reason.

Him.

Jason. fucking. Grace. The son of Jupiter.

You knew your crush on him wasn’t going to go anywhere. After all, water and electricity and/or lighting don’t mix very well. But you simply couldn’t help yourself.

The way he was just so kind to his friends, he’s responsible (—Which is hard to find in a teenage boy.,) His eyes, his blond hair, his smile… and, oh, you can't forget that little scar on his lips.

Well, going back to the Camp activity of canoeing, here you were at the bottom of the Camp Half-blood lake, talking to some other Naiads. Until the shadow of a canoe slowly moved around the lake before settling right above you and your friends. How annoying.

Except what you didn’t know was that your admiring-from-a-far-impossible-to-get crush was with two of his friends, sitting on the canoe that was casting the shadow above you and your fellow Naiads.

Then the canoe began to shake and tilt, causing ripples in the water, disrupting the usually calm lake. Oh boy. Then the canoe flipped completely over, sending three unsuspecting demigods— Leo Valdez, Piper Mclean, and Jason Grace—over the edge of it and into the lake.

Oh, gods, one of them was jason.

What bad timing! you didn’t even have your hair done or anything! Oh… and in the midst of him panicking he locked eyes with you. Something you’d never understand is how a boy, a boy like him, could be so perfect. You quickly looked away from his gaze.

Then you looked back at him, remembering that he could very well be drowning. And by how he looked, you assumed that he in fact was drowning—Or at least was coming close to drowning. You just had to save him, this could be your only chance to communicate with him! Oh, and the fact that he could die.

You tried your best to scoop him in your arms and swim him up to the surface, but considering he was a pretty big guy for being what, fifteen, sixteen years old? You whip your head around, causing the water to make little ripples, towards the other few Naiads in the lake, silently signaling for their help with bringing him to the surface.

Thankfully, the Naiads obliged and swam over to help you lift Jason to the grass, at least to the best of their abilities. As you all resurface, Jason gasping for air, he looks directly at you for a moment, then he snapped his gaze away.

“Uhh.. Thanks,” He said breathlessly.

You can feel your face reddening at his gratitude. You don’t think you have ever swam back to the bottom of the lake so fast before this very moment.

Later on in the day—Night, actually. You were at the top of the lake by yourself, elbows resting on the grass as the rest of your body other than your upper torso was submerged in the lake, your head in your hands. What were you thinking about? Well, the interaction with Jason, of course!

And then like magic, you heard the footsteps that matched his. Did he really sneak off from the campfire to come over to the lake?! Oh yes, yes he did.

“Hey, uh…” You almost immediately recognized his voice. “Thanks for saving me earlier.” Jason sounded slightly embarrassed. You nodded in reply. “I um, accidentally flipped the canoe.” Your eyes widened slightly in amusement, he even got a little laugh out of you.

“Really?” You reply back.

“Yeah, i’m not to sure how.”

And that’s how the night went on, the two of you talking until mr.d ran him back to his cabin and splashed water at you until you swam back under the water for the night. Apparently your admiring-from-a-far-impossible-to-get crush wasn’t so hard to get after all.

#percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #fanfic #heroes of olympus x reader #heros of olympus #pjo fandom #pjo hoo toa #jason grace #jason grace x reader #fanfiction #franciswasteland #hoo #the heros of olympus #jason grace x you #jason grace x y/n #percy jackson #heros of olympus x you #heros of olympus x y/n

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imdead770 · 3 months

Note

omg love the idea of steve x childhood friend reader!! could you do that for soda too

Sodapop Curtis x Reader - Childhood Friends

Authors Note - Slowly (but surely) getting back into writing. Fingers crossed I don't have another words aren't wording era. Enjoy!

▪︎ Dear, darling Sodapop

▪︎ I know exactly how you met Sodapop

▪︎ I'm third grade, you got paired up with him for some art project

▪︎ And he sucked ass

▪︎ This kid couldn't do anything

▪︎ He can barely read, his hand writing sucks, he can't color inside the lines

▪︎ But for some reason you liked him enough to stick with him all these years

▪︎ Maybe it was how he apologized at least 50 times that you were carrying the project

▪︎ Or maybe it was how he'd still try his hardest to comprehend the big words on the instructions

▪︎ One of the big words including 'instructions'

▪︎ I personally believe Sodapops dyslexic, you can disagree, go for it

▪︎ But the moment he realized he wanted to stick with you was that project

▪︎ How patient you were with him

▪︎ How you helped him read the instructions

▪︎ How you whispered in his ear whenever he forgot half the words to his presentation

▪︎ He didn't really know what love was, he was a kid

▪︎ But looking back on it, that's the moment he fell

▪︎ Fast forward a few years, middle school.

▪︎ I think around 7th grade Sodapop realized just how hot he was

▪︎ He could've pulled a sophomore if he wanted to

"Ya' see that! She was lookin' at me!"

"Every girl looks at you, Soda, it ain't a big deal."

▪︎ You two still did a lot of projects together

▪︎ Normally you did the work

▪︎ But hey, he was good emotional support

▪︎ Eigth grade

▪︎ Somehow both of you managed to have glow ups the exact same year

▪︎ With his jawline being as sharp as Micheal Myer's knife

▪︎ And your body doing its weird maturing thing

▪︎ Which didn't go unnoticed by Sodapop, by the way

▪︎ He fell for you all over again, only this time he had hormones and you had a body that could kill

▪︎ You hung out around the gang a lot

▪︎ Dallas flirted with you a lot

▪︎ Everytime Soda would butt in

▪︎ Everytime the gang teased him about it when you left

"Ya' like 'em."

"What? Na'"

"So can I date 'em?"

"I'll kill ya'"

"Told ya', likes 'em. Gimme that 10, Two."

"Aw, fuc-"

▪︎ Whenever Soda dropped out of high-school he was all freaked out your friendship would end

▪︎ He thought you'd stick with your school friends

▪︎ Instead you two just got closer

▪︎ You'd catch him up on what drama he was missing while he told you stories from DX

▪︎ It was a daily tradition

▪︎ If you were swamped with homework he wouldn't even try

▪︎ He'd still talk until his lips hurt though

▪︎ YOU COMFORTED HIM AFTER SANDY

▪︎ He came over to your place, all quiet and teary eyed

▪︎ That was the second time he cried in front of you

▪︎ The first being the time a bunch of socs picked on him in 6th grade

▪︎ Anyways

▪︎ Eventually the gang got fed up

▪︎ He was well over Sandy

▪︎ He was head over heels for you

▪︎ You went of your way to see him

▪︎ I think someone bet that Steve couldn't get Soda to date you

▪︎ And Steve went all out

▪︎ He practically threatened Soda

▪︎ Soda did it on his own but Steve takes credit

▪︎ He asked you on one of your catch up nights

"So, remember that sophomore gi-"

"I like ya'."

"What."

▪︎ You just sat there for a second, completely awestruck

▪︎ You were gonna say that sophomore girl that liked him got knocked up

▪︎ But that was pushed into the shadows of your brain

"Uh.. I like you too."

▪︎ This man smiled

▪︎ Like pure

▪︎ '😀'

▪︎ He didn't really know how to express emotions after Sandy

▪︎ So he just kissed you

▪︎ Flat out, lips on lips, kissed you

▪︎ After you pulled away he hugged you, smiling into your neck

▪︎ And you were smiling right back

▪︎ Not that he could see it, but still

▪︎ Took a second and ran to tell the gang

▪︎ They all either

A) Flipped out

B) Expected it and didn't care

▪︎ Either way he was jumping up and down

▪︎ Dallas had to tell him at least 10 times to shut up about you

▪︎ He didn't let you go home

▪︎ Cuz like, he was your boyfriend now, he had to be within 10 feet of you

▪︎ After you two started dating he held your hand every single day

▪︎ Cuz like, he's waited over 5 years for this moment

▪︎ Other then the PDA and dates, nothing changes

▪︎ Yay

#the outsiders #the outsiders headcanons #sodapop curtis #dallas winston #steve randle #two bit mathews #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders x reader #sodapop curtis headcanons #sodapop x reader #sodapop headcanons #sodapop curtis x reader #the outsiders sodapop

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peachbottom · 11 months

Text

Emergency Contact

Authors Note: Hi, this is my first fic please be nice, but give me some feedback. I hope you enjoy <3 I’m dyslexic sorry I’m sure there are mistakes with spelling and grammar I didn’t see.

Summary: When you are really bad at taking your birth control so you decide to surprise Bucky with an iud, but it doesn’t go very well.

Warnings: implied smut, nudity, talk of iud, talk of intimate themes, “ass” said like once, (y/n) used one time (please let me know if I missed anything thank you)

——————————————————————————

You feel the back of your knees hit the bed frame. While still maintaining the connection between you and Bucky you fall back into the bed. You land with a soft thud, Bucky catching himself with the hand that was resting on the nape of your neck. As he hovers above you you can see the dark lust in his eyes mixed with pure adoration. He gives you a soft smile as his other hand moves from the back of your head to your hip, tracing small circles with his thumb on the soft skin.

You’re both are naked after stripping off each others clothes on the way to the bedroom right after Bucky got home from a mission. He had been gone for two weeks, you missed him in all kinds of ways. From his smell, to his touch, his sweet words and warm hugs, but at the moment the thing you missed the most was the feeling of him inside you.

As bucky looked down at you for permission and you wished he would just hurry up already, missing the feeling of connection it brought you.

“Did you take your birth control or do I need a condom?” He asked in a very sweet tone

Oh. This again. You hated that you had to use condoms with Bucky, you were both clean and committed to only one another but you weren’t ready for kids yet. You had talked about it when you started dating, you both decided you were going to try not to get pregnant, so you started taking birth control pills.

“I’m sorry I forgot again, I really tried to remember”, you blurt out anxiously with a shameful look on your face.

Bucky knew you were bad at remembering to take your birth control on time, or even just taking it at all. He had gotten in the habit of asking you if he needed to get a condom or not, the answer always being yes. But he knew you were trying to be consistent, so he would always ask just incase one day the answer changed.

“Hey it’s okay bunny, no big deal. Just give me a second to get a condom, I’ll be right back”

He placed a kiss on your forehead and got up walking into the bathroom. You look over it the birth control packet on your nightstand, some days still having pills, some were taken but not consistently. You felt like a disappointment to your boyfriend, like you were being selfish because you make him wear a condom during sex even though you knew it would feel better for him without it.

…

That night after you and Bucky finished your “activities”, you thought about what you could do to make it up to Buck. You knew he said he didn’t mind, and he really did mean it, but you still couldn’t help but feel selfish.

You couldn’t sleep. You really couldn’t get the idea out of your head, there had to be some way you could do this for Bucky. You clearly were not going to be able to take birth control pills effectively, but maybe something else could work. So while Bucky was asleep next to you with his head on your chest and arms around your belly, you picked up your phone and looked up some possible ways to ditch the condoms for good.

You came across a girl online who was in a similar situation, she also wanted to be able to have bare sex with her boyfriend. Her solution was to get an iud, it was long term and you didn’t have to do anything with it besides get it put in and taken out. They were supposed to be really effective and that way you wouldn’t have to worry about taking birth control everyday.

You decided to get the iud and not tell Bucky until after the period of time you had to wait after getting it, so you could surprise him. You really wanted to do this for him, to show him how much you trusted and loved him. You wanted to make things feel better for him, and you too wanted to feel that connection with him without anything in the way.

…

The day of your appointment you woke up to an empty bed, bucky had already left for the gym with Steve. You roll over to check your phone and see a text from Bucky,

Bucky: Good Morning bunny, at the gym should be home soon didn’t want to wake you when I left

You text him back, smiling at how thoughtful he is

You: Morning baby ❤️ love you, see you soon.

You get up to get showered and dressed, you pick out comfy clothes and head over to the bathroom you and bucky share. You place your clothes on the counter and start the shower, nice and cool to hopefully wake you up a bit. You didn’t take too long because your nervous and couldn’t fully relax into the shower like you normally do. You get out of the shower and quickly dry off and get dressed.

You plop down onto the couch in the living room, scrolling through your phone to kill some time. Though it only seemed like 20 minutes it was actually closer to an hour. Now running late, you rush out the door with your purse, keys, phone and grab one of Bucky’s hoodies that was sitting by the front door.

On your way down to the street you call for a car, living in the city had its perks but the speed of public transportation was definitely not one. While on your phone you see a message from Nat

Nat: Call if you need me😊

She was the only person you told about this whole situation. You didn’t like sharing intimate details of yours and Bucky’s relationship but you wanted advice and support, and you trusted Nat.

You find your car waiting outside your building, give the driver the address and you are on your way.

…

Once at the doctors office it starts to sink in how nervous you are, you have heard horrible things about how much an iud hurts or how terrible the effects are. While sitting in the lobby waiting to hear your name called you try to distract yourself on your phone

Bucky: Where did you say you were going today? Some doctor?

You see Bucky’s message come through and decide not to give him too much detail.

You: Yeah just a check up thing, should be home soon😘

Hopefully now he won’t worry or ask any questions, he was always protective and you know how much he worries over you.

Finally you hear your name called and follow the nurse to the room. She checks your information and has you go to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test for protocol. Thankfully it was negative, though a baby Bucky wouldn’t be the worst thing now was not the right time. Once you are settled in the exam room the nurse asks you to undress from the waist down and cover up with the glorified paper towel they give you as a modesty sheet. You smile and give a polite thank you, after the nurse steps out you undress and wait nervously for your doctor.

After a few minutes your doctor steps in, thankfully her friendly personality is soothing. She asks if you have any questions and walks you through the procedure. But only one thing was on your mind

“Will it hurt, I’ve heard it’s pretty painful”

“I won’t lie, it’s not comfortable. But it will just feel like big cramps and then you should be fine.”

You know that’s just doctors way of saying yes but trying not to scare you.

You are told to lie back and get into the correct position for the insertion process. You still get embarrassed being so exposed like this in front of people, even Bulcky sometimes, but this is your doctor so you just push the fear away and focus on your breathing.

Your doctor talks you through the process step by step, starting off with a normal routine exam. Taking deep breaths is supposed to help but once your doctor gets ready and uses the clamp to hold your cervix in place you could care less about your breathing. It feels like something hole punched your insides. You don’t make much of a noise just some pained faces.

“Are you doing okay?”

All you could manage in response was a grunt

“This is the next big cramp, take some deep breaths”

She inserts the first tool, to measure how far the device should go in. You try your best to breathe but it’s useless, your body starts to heat up, your hearing goes fuzzy and you get very nauseous.

“Almost done just one more thing to do”

As she inserted the actual iud you swear you were send to hell and back. You felt dizzy, nauseous and hot all over. You saw stars and started to sweat profusely as all your senses started to fade.

You hear her saying something but you aren’t sure what. The pain was so extreme and sharp but radiated in a numb wave throughout your body. It felt like the worst period cramp you have ever had but 10 times worse. The intensity was persistent even as the sharpness started to fade.

Your doctor was done at this point just working on putting you in more comfortable position. The nurse in the room could see how pale and clammy you were. She made her way over to your side and started to recline the bed more.

“Just breathe, what do you need, water, ice, pain medication?”

You just mumble in response,

“I’m gonna be sick”

She was quick to grab the trash before you got sick, it only making the feeling worse. Once you let out all you had in you, you lay back down. Your doctor now bringing you water and an ice pack. You very slowly sip the water and place the ice on your neck. You still can’t hear all too well, everything was fuzzy. You hear the nurse asking you something, you weren’t able to focus enough to fully understand what it is she was asking, you just nod and hum in agreement.

…

“Hello? Is this Mr Barnes?”

“Yes, may I ask whom I am speaking with”

“This is y/n’s gynecologists office, we are calling because you are listed as her emergency contact.”

At that moment his heart started racing

“She is okay, but she had a bit of a difficult reaction to getting an iud inserted today”

“A what, what does that mean?”

“It a intrauterine birth control implant. She’s just very nauseous and in pain and we think it’s best if she had someone to come pick her up”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be right there. Thank you”

“Of course Mr Barnes, I’ll see you soon.”

…

Once you come to a bit more and are out of your state of half conciseness the nurse places her hand on your arm to get your attention

“We just called your emergency contact to pick you up, you still don’t look so good yet just lay back until he gets here”

He!? He!? As in Bucky!? Oh great you forgot Bucky was your emergency contact. Now you have to explain this all while also trying to keep him from worrying. At this point you realize the doctor had left the room and the nurse was just stepping out. You do just lay back until he gets there because if you get up you just know you will pass out.

You know Bucky is there when you hear his deep voice outside the door talking to the nurse. He seems to be okay but you still aren’t fully recovered from your reaction to the iud. Who knew a little piece of plastic could knock you on your ass so hard.

Bucky opens the door to see you laying on the table covered by that sad excuse for a sheet. He softly shuts the door before walking towards you.

“What’s all this about doll? You had me worried, are you okay?”

He says in a soft caring voice

You give him a half smile because that’s all you can muster up, and a quiet

“Yeah I’m good”

He smiles back subtly, placing his hand in yours and rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

“How about we get you dressed and go home”

You nod in agreement and try to sit up, but then nod off and sway to your left, right into bucky. He’s quick to catch you and lay you back down.

“How about I just get you your stuff and you stay right there.”

You laugh a bit and point to your folded stack of clothes in the corner on a chair. He walks over and picks up your underwear and sweatpants along with your shoes that were kicked off to the side. He sets the clothes on the bed next to you and helps you remove the paper sheet off your lap. You make sure to keep your legs closed, feeling slightly embarrassed with Bucky seeing you like this right after something so uncomfortable happened. He doesn’t say anything about your reaction instead just picks up one foot at a time and pulls your underwear up to your knees where you reach out to imply you can pull them up the rest of the way. He goes to pick up your sweatpants next.

“How are you feeling?”

You nod and go to pull up your pants the same way, from your knees.

“Nauseous, dizzy, in pain.”

You say quietly out of embarrassment. You were expecting more questions but he just helped you get dressed and put in your shoes. Then he walks up next to you and helps you sit up slowly, very gentle with your aching body.

“There you go. Now take a breath and then let’s try and stand in a second, okay.”

You agree and then he does exactly that, he supports your back and holds your hand to help you stand up, he’s always close enough incase you need him. You stand for a second and then shake your head a little bit to let him know you are good. He lets go of you and grabs your purse and sweatshirt you had hanging on the back of the door. He turns around to you and helps pull the sweatshirt over your head, remembering how cold your skin felt when he was helping you get on your pants.

“Thank you”

You say as you take your bag from his hand and press a gently kiss to his cheek. He offers a soft smile in response. He then takes your hand and walks you out of the room and into the lobby.

In the parking lot he walks you over to his car and opens the passenger door of his truck. He helps you get in making sure you are safe and okay before he closes the door and walks around the truck to the drivers seat. Once he’s in and buckled he checks in with you one more time before driving off

He didn’t say anything the car ride home, just offered to stop and get you something on the way home if you needed it and played some soft music in the background. You could feel yourself start to bleed and got scared about it getting on the car’s seat. But you were almost home so you didn’t say anything. Bucky put the car in park and got out to help you, but by the time he got around the car you were already stepping out of the truck. He was fast to put out a hand to help you but you didn’t need it. Bucky followed very close behind you all the way up to your shared apartment. You were feeling much better but still in pain and kind of dizzy.

“Slow down please, I’m worried your going to pass out on me here”

He says with a tinge of humor in his voice. You step into the elevator where you turn into him and whisper into his neck

“I’m bleeding, I want to get to the bathroom”

He pulls away concerned, looking at you as if to confirm you meant bleeding from where he thought you meant. You nod softly and look down at your feet to avoid any further questions. You were already embarrassed as it was, knowing you would have to talk about this whole situation soon enough.

You didn’t want Bucky thinking you were hiding things from him, but you were also embarrassed in general because you knew you would have to talk about topics that aren’t the most comfortable to talk about. The doors open and you walk to your shared apartment door, unlock it, drop your stuff, and rush off to the bathroom. Bucky is close to follow, having questions; most importantly, were you okay.

You get to the bathroom, shut the door and sit on the toilet. You look down to see blood in your underwear, you knew this could happen, your doctor went over it all but still scared you a tiny bit. You decided a shower would be the best thing right now but standing for that long sounds awful so maybe a bath. You step out of the bathroom to collect clothes and towels and you see Bucky sitting on the bed on his phone. He looks up and puts it down.

“I looked it up and it says it’s normal to bleed after an iud as long as it’s not a lot, is it a lot, are you okay?”

You walkover to him and give him a hug

“I’m okay it’s not bad, I’m sorry”

“Sorry? For what, baby?”

“For all of this, for them having to call you and you having to pick me up. Because I didn’t tell you I was doing it and for probably making you worry.”

You pull your head off his chest and look up at him

“And now your being so sweet and I’m sure you have questions but you have been so patient with me, i’m sorry”

“Oh honey, no don’t be sorry. It’s okay, it’s fine i promise. How about we get you in the bath or something and we can talk.”

You think for a second, a bath would mean getting naked, not like you haven’t been naked in front of him before but right now it feels so vulnerable.

“Only if you get in the bath with me”

“If that’s what you want princess”

You get into the bath together, with you laying on his chest. You feel very crampy and you don’t want to move but the hot water is helping.

“Can I ask you some questions, baby?”

This was the moment you feared but you just answered with a small yes.

“When I got a call from the office saying you needed to be picked up because you were having a hard time after getting an iud, I was confused why you got it that if you already take the pill.”

He looked down at you and waited patiently for you to formulate an answer, rubbing a hand up and down your back the entire time.

“Well you know I’m really bad at taking that everyday, this way is really effective and that way we could-“

You cut yourself off before you could embarrass yourself further

“We could what, bub?”

“Well I don’t know, I was thinking then maybe we wouldn’t have to use condoms anymore. I mean I know guys don’t like having to use them, and I didn’t want you to feel like I’m making you use them or not because obviously it’s your body and I want our sex life to be your choice too. And I want you to know I trust you and i love you and I wanted to feel that. I don’t know maybe it was stupid and I’m making things worse.”

He waited patiently for you to finish your nervous ramble, only speaking when you were done and ready to hear him.

“Honey calm down, first, I don’t feel pressured into anything and I do it because I love you and being with you intimately in any way is a privilege. I feel honored you share your body with me in anyway, and I hope you know that. Second, i would love to feel that with you but you don’t have to put yourself in pain just so we can have raw sex. Nothing is worth you being in pain. And the last thing is I know you love and trust me, because I love and trust you too.”

You blush a little at his words.

“So you’re not upset I didn’t tell you about this?”

“Well I’m not going lie, I wish you would have told me so I could have been there for you but anything you do to your body is your choice.”

All of the sudden a sharp pain was born in your lower stomach and bloomed like a flower from hell throughout your body. You hissed and Bucky wrapped his arms around you to provide some type of comfort in a situation where you needed all you could get. As the worst of it passed you leaned down and placed a gently kiss on his arm as a thank you.

“Let’s get you dressed in something warm and dry.”

When they get out of the tub Bucky wraps you in a fluffy towel and leads you into the room where he has you sit on the bed. He searches through his dresser and yours to find a pair of your underwear and a baggy shirt of his. He repeats what he did at the doctors office earlier and gets you dressed for a nap. Once dressed he helps you get under the fluffy blankets on the bed. He gets himself settled and dressed, to then slide into bed where he grabs you and kisses your forehead.

“I love you bunny. Take a nap I’ll be here when you wake up”

And that’s what you do, while he holds you and rubs your stomach when you start to move around too much. He truly does love you, and all he can hope is that you made this choice for yourself and didn’t feel pressured to do it for him. And you sleep peacefully knowing you will wake up in the arms of the love of your life.

——————————————————————————

Masterlist

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fluff #bucky comfort #implied smut #marvel fanfiction #marvel fluff #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes

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khayalli · 4 months

Text

Tonight I will be falling asleep thinking about Leo and the utter reverence he manages to imbue into everything he does.

This is just me loosing my mind thinking about him dw about it (I'm not good at writing and i am severely dyslexic so proceed with caution)

Even as he futility reaches for some distant goal that he'll never feel accomplished in.

He'll never truly have peace because crime simply does not go away. There's always going to be some new big bad, and will it ever really feel like enough?

Outside is a world with a constant push and pull between good and bad; he's simply one pawn in a game he never really had a choice in. Sure, he could technically just stop, but Lord knows he's a man of honour and duty. Again, he's a man that carries reverence in almost every action he takes. Is the reverence FOR duty and honour or because of it? He's a servant to this concept, to the concept of peace and justice, regardless. Always an angel, never a god.

Jesus christ, that must be tiring. This man is TIRED.

So he carves out his own peace. His own private religion. Here in his room with you, where the light from the candle flickers gently, he can soak up your warmth and make it his own.

It's in here, in his room, that you become his religion. You're the alter he worships at, it's your neck that he whispers his confessions into (Softly, with reverence) and it's your lips that grant him the absolution he desperatly seeks.

It's how you trail your hands so gently up his arms and around his neck, as if he's the one that could break if you squeeze too hard. Before you tuck him into you so so gently that he thinks maybe he will break. Maybe he'll be consumed by you, by your warmth, the way you look into his eyes as if he's your religion too (he is) or the way you leave your mark desperately clinging to his forearms as he worships at the alter of your hips.

He doesn't have to be the fearless leader. He doesn't have to make any split life or death decisions. He doesn't have to live up to any self-inflicted or external expectations. He can just just listen to you hum gently as you prepare for bed and watch how candlelight dances with your hair. He can be selfish, he can pretend to be enough ("you ARE enough" he hears your voice plead, over and over. He just rests his forehead on yours and sighs), and just for a moment. He can be at peace.

Yeah anyway I'm mentally sound and haven't been chewing on this since speaking to @yorshie about Pining with religious undertones. NOPE. I'm not being consumed at all.

I need to sleep.

#so anyay im still crawling up the walls thinking about leo #how pining can turn into this cocktail of reverent obsession #especially when you feed back into it #eventually he believes that hes your religion as well #top this bottom that what about you both being so deeply desperate for eachother its just a matter of who bites first #khayas ramblings #maybe ill delete this???#do people care about my ramblings LMAO does it matter is the better question #leonardo x reader

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bugs013 · 10 days

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“Shut up and kiss me.”

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Fem!Reader

Not my pics/gifs

Warnings- Men. Brief mention of assault, homophobia (if you don’t want to read that part just skip to the end flashback mark!), dyslexic writer lol, i think thats all but correct me if i’m wrong please!

A/N- am i the only one who firmly believes that Janis is a huge softie on the inside? Like in public she plays the big bad bitch but in private she’s an angel, like she’s definitely the type to massage your feet after a long day or switch food with you just because you said hers looks better. Yk what i mean? Anyway I’m completely open to criticism just don’t attack me too hard lol

It all started when Janis helped you get away from one of the creeps at school.

—flashback—

You were just minding your business at your locker when you felt a hand slap your ass, your jaw dropped open and you quickly spun around to see a random guy you didn’t know. You felt so embarrassed and you were speechless, frozen. “Whats up baby girl” he says smugly and you couldn’t do anything but feel disgusted. “Look at you,” He puts an arm around your shoulder. “You’re blushing.” Though your so called blush was from embarrassment and anxiety. You attempted to pull away but he tightened his grip. “So what are you up to tonight princess.” He asks but suddenly a voice responds. “She’ll be with me.” Janis ‘Imi’ike, you didn’t really know her well but you have classes together. “Let her go, she doesn’t want you.” Janis says as she took your hand and tugged you away from him. The guy got annoyed but didn’t do anything but scoff. “Of course, lesbians.” He rolled his eyes and walked away. You let out a breath of relief before turning to Janis and thanking her.

And thats when you become a trio with your best friends.

—flashback end-

“Babe, she likes you, you like her, it’s so painfully obvious!” Damian said to Janis who was rambling about wanting to ask Y/N out on a date. “You don’t know that. I mean she’s never even confirmed if she’s gay or not.” “Oh come on, you really think she’s straight? Have you seen the way she looks at girls? The way she looks at YOU.” He states. “What do you mean the way she looks at me? How does she look at me?” Janis says with confusion. He scrolls through his phone for a moment then turns and shows a photo to her. “Like this.”

Not my pic

“She does not look at me like that.” Janis said tho the thought of you looking at her that way makes her smile. “You’re so oblivious.” Damian rolls his eyes.

~~~~

“Guys! Guys!” You said, running to Janis and Damian in the hall, you immediately ran and hugged Janis, making her stumble backwards. “Oh-” “I passed! I passed the art presentation!” You said excitedly. “What?! I told you you could do it!” Janis said with a smile as she hugged you back, blush creeping up on her cheeks. When you pull back you have the biggest smile on you face. “Yeah because of you! If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have passed!” Janis scoffed though everyone knew it was true. Without the help from Janis you’d have an F in that class. “Good job girl.” Damian chipped in before giving Janis a look and excusing himself, Janis knew she needed to take this as her opponent to ask you on a date. “Hey, uh- are you busy this weekend?” “Hm, not that i remember, why do you have plans?” “Well i was hoping we can hang out…um…just the two of us…” You smile, brows furrowed with curiosity. “Ok, where are we going? Your place?” “Well actually i have plans, but it’s a surprise. Meet me at the park on Saturday, around 10?” Janis say’s anxiously. You grin and nod. “Sounds fun! I’ll be there!”

~~~~

Saturday rolls around and soon you were walking into the park, you look around until you finally spot Janis, you can see she has a blanket laid on the grass with a picnic basket and some flowers sitting on it. You can’t help but smile as you walk over. “No way.” Janis turns and looks at you as she hears your voice, she smiles, a bit of blush growing on her cheeks. “You like it?” “Like it? I love it!” You hug her before the two of you sat down. You look around admiring the nature around you, and Janis. “This is amazing Janis. I’ve never been on a real picnic before.” You said with a excited smile. Janis returned your smile before opening the picnic basket. “I hope you’re hungry, i may have over packed.” She says with a little laugh. “In that case I’m starving!” You say with a giggle. Janis began pulling food from the basket, various finger foods such as; strawberries, cheese, crackers, etc. for drinks she packed some capri suns of multiple different kinds.

~~~~

The two of you ate and talked until it was eventually starting to get dark out. Time really flew by and neither of you noticed.

“Shut up! No you didn’t!” You said through your laughter. You had been sharing random funny stories about yourselves for a while now. Janis nods laughing as well. “It’s true! Ask Damian he was there!” You have been smiling and laughing so much that your cheeks were sore. “I wish i was there! Oh my gosh that killed me, i’ll never forget that!”

When you finally stopped laughing you laid down on the blanket and look up at the sky. Janis does the same, laying next to you but not too close. “The stars are pretty huh?” Janis said “mhm, not as pretty as you though.” You said in a whisper as you glanced over at her. Janis eyes widened a bit, she looks over at you with a confused expression, afraid she heard you wrong somehow. “Huh?” “Huh?” You repeat with a smirk tugging on your lips. Janis rolls her eyes and playfully slaps your leg as she sat up and looks at you. “Come on don’t play dumb. What did you mean by that?” You sat up as well and shrugged. “What do you think i meant?” “You’re calling me pretty but- but are you saying I’m pretty in a way like ‘oh you’re pretty’ or like ‘oh, you’re pretty” or even-” she rambles, You laugh before stopping her. “Janis- Janis stop.” She stops and looks at you. “I’m saying i like you, ok?” Janis felt her heart skip a beat. “You- you mean you like me, like- you like me as in ‘oh you’re my friend, i like you’ or-” you roll you eyes. “Janis!” She froze. “shut up and kiss me.” Janis smiles gently and nods a little and soon your lips met in a gentle, sweet kiss that made butterflies go crazy in both yours and Janis stomachs. The kiss went on for what felt like years until you both pull away slowly, cheeks flushed. “Wow” she muttered, you nod. “I like you Janis, i like you a lot.” You say as you interlocked your fingers with hers, looking down at her hands in yours Janis smiles, she looks at you again. “I like you too Y/N.”

#janis ‘imi’ike #mean girls 2024 #janis ‘imi’ike x reader

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yuugen-benni · 1 year

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HELLOOOO may i request childe diluc and thoma with reader that has adhd and dyslexia? Thank youu

Hi! Thank you for the follow and request

Note: Always with requests like this i research a lot as I can, but If I said something wrong about ADHD or Dyslexia please tell me!

Thoma, Diluc and Childe + ADHD/Dyslexic!Reader

Thoma:

Thoma has a big heart and naturally cares about his partner, no matter the circumstances. Another point is: Him. He is. Helpful. You can count on him for literally EVERYTHING

Forgot something important, keys or wallet? He knows exactly where they are

Anxiety or restlessness that is affecting everyday life? He has his arms open with a drink (of your choice) on the counter.

Want to express something but having difficulty? Say it any way you can, he'll be there to listen!

Thoma discreetly makes you take little breaks during the day: he suddenly appears and says ''Oh..I didn't know you were here!'' and asks if you want some Boba or his best way to spend the time: read to you :)

(And when I say he likes to read to you, HE LIKES A LOT. It helps him understand Inazuman literature and helps you read)

''[...] By the way! Is there anything i can do for you ? or rather...do with you ?''

Diluc:

He is not very ''present'' like Thoma, who can always help you. BUT this does not mean that he doesn't care

From the moment you tell Diluc about the ADHD and Dyslexia, he is visible more patient with you than with other peoples;

He ''adapted'' his own mansion for you, putting important day-to-day things in a specific dresser and even a "routine board", or simply: a board full of post-it notes with your activities to help you remember ( And at the same time write);

(Speaking of writing… imagine taking short reading and writing classes with Lisa! She would be so sweet ;3)

Also, Diluc loves to hear everything you have to say. Any random facts, weird thoughts, your favorite things or just dumb questions. Listening to you makes him understand how adorable and smart you really are. Fills lonely nights in the Winery. it Makes him smile…

''Don't be late for dinner this time, I know you and Lisa love to talk but.... sigh….I can't wait to hear how your day goes''

Childe:

We know how Childe is, and if you want a boyfriend who motivates you: he is perfect The compliments never end. I'm not talking about fake or unrealistic compliments, I'm saying about words that can be simple like ''I'm proud of you'' but…can make your day so much better. Compliments can be helpful for everyone, especially those with mental, physical or emotional problems.

Childe is the type of guy who always looks up to you with pride because he knows it's hard for you to just do an easy thing, and being tough is not the right way.

He guarantees he'll help you with ''his way''….aka money. He traveled ALL over Teyvat, if you want he can easily find a doctor, a teacher, a therapist, buy objects that help with focus and anxiety. EVERYTHING.

Now, talking about family: Childe's family is amazing. imagine your siblings accidentally asking you to read a book to them but you're a little embarrassed because of your dyslexia but then Childe comes along and offers to read it to you all and-.........

Let's finish here

Reblogs and feedbacks are greatly appreciated!

resquest OPEN (for now only for BSD and GI)

#benni #sorry for my bad english #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #childe x reader #childe #genshin tartagalia #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #thoma x reader #thoma genshin #thoma hcs #ajax x reader #genshin x reader #genshin thoma

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littlemissmanga · 3 months

Text

CT-2460 "Corkscrew" Intro & SFW Alphabet

Hey all! It's been a hot minute :) I'm trying to get back into my writing grove to get into my WIP list, but it's been hard. Brain isn't braining but stress is stressing.

So rather than fight the brain fog and get frustrated over lack of writing progress, I'm shifting gears to introduce (finally) my latest OC, Corkscrew.

Called "Cor" by his close brothers, Corkscrew is a pilot in Shadow Squadron. He's an adrenaline junkie, and definitely follows the Anakin Skywalker school of flying. But at the heart of all his daring do's is his love for his brothers and his commitment to keeping them safe.

That's evident by the fact that his recklessness doesn't carry over off the battlefield. In fact, Cor is pretty chill. He's not easily provoked and he's really open minded. He's competitive and playful in a soft way. He'll tease his brothers but he's not a shitstirrer.

And fun fact, he is dyslexic but can visualize a battlefield in 3D, which helps with his flying. Hence why the Kaminoans didn't mind the the "irregularity."

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

On average, I'd say Cor is pretty affectionate, and his main way of showing that is through physical touch. He knows he can lose his brothers (or they can lose him) at any time. So a hand on a shoulder or a nudge isn't out of the ordinary for him.

Every so often, if you catch him in a serious moment where he's deep in thought, he'll verbalize that affection. But that is much less common. Corkscrew knows how to speak louder with his actions.

But receiving? Words of affirmation. Despite speaking louder with his actions, Corkscrew is still unprepared and overwhelmed in the best way when someone shows affection to him verbally or praises him. It's so new and yet it's something he feels to his core (pun intended).

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Corkscrew is your ride or die. Need someone at 3am? No questions? Corkscrew. No platitudes, no nothing. He'll just be there, for you, any time, any place.

He won't give his opinion on things unless you ask OR you're genuinely going to hurt yourself. Otherwise, it's your life, you gotta live it. He just wants to be along for the ride.

A friendship with him is easy to start, as he's pretty affable - chatting at a bar or getting introduced through one of his brothers. And he'd go out of his way to help even a new friend. If Cor sees you as someone genuine, as an equal friend who meets him where he's at as he does you, then he'll feel comfortable deepening the relationship to close friends.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

FUCK YES. So naturally, as he expresses love most easily through physical touch, cuddles are very high on his "yes please I love it" list. He would cuddle his batchmates growing up and once he got comfortable with Shadow Squadron, he grew the habit of resting his head on Matchstick's shoulder and cuddle into his big brother's side or back. It really grounds him in a good way and gives him a sense of peace. (He does it to most of his squad mates but Matchstick is who he is closest to).

He read on a contraband holonovel that nat-born couples cuddle like this to fall asleep every night and that's when that little seed was planted in his heart. He wants that. The idea of feeling someone he loves around him every night? The thought that holding someone and showing his love in such a natural way for him is desired in the wider galaxy (esp when not all his brothers love his cuddles) just floors him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He wants it. He wants it so bad, but he doesn't let himself. First because he knows that, as long as he's in the GAR, it's unlikely to happen so he shouldn't get his hopes up. Second because Cor acknowledges that what he wants is that unique special connection most of all and he tries so hard to redirect that to his brothers. It doesn't always work, but it's enough.

As for actual domestic work, Cor keeps things pretty clean, but a messy partner would through him for a loop. I can see him getting overwhelmed because "I didn't make this mess, where does any of this go!?"

He cannot cook to save his life besides making a sandwich. Please get that man away from your oven.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Mostly by not starting it. He's really aware of how much it could hurt if it all goes wrong, and the risk to his brothers pushes him into the "not now" category.

But if he did start a secret fling and had to end it, he would be up front and honest in person. No lies about how he doesn't care. He knows it'll hurt and those lies protect no one. So blunt honestly about how much he loves you, and how angry he is that this is reality. But he will not keep hurting you or himself.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

In an AU where the war ends and clones get rights, then he really lets himself think it through for the first time. He'll be fine with the commitment aspect, but he would also wait a while before popping the question. He's patient and will want to be absolutely sure before committing.

But following canon, he's really not likely to propose. He'll be hesitant to enter a relationship knowing he can't really commit as his first obligation is to the GAR and his brothers. And while the right person could convince him to date in secret, he would never ask for their commitment to him when he can't return the same.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

To himself? Cor is a bit rough. He knows what he can handle and tolerate and will often push that limit for what he considers the greater good. That's physically, emotionally and mentally. Like the time he jumped from a fighter in order to kick some spider droids off Broadside's wing mid battle and ended up with a torn ligament that needed a soak in bacta. Or the time when he immediately reported for duty despite working overnight to help another squad without telling anyone. Or when, after the Battle of Kamino, he took a rotation giving some of the more battle-worn bothers a compassionate ear, despite being pretty beaten down himself.

But when it comes to others, Cor is the most gentle. He is aware of the double standard but doesn't care. It's because he's reckless and harsh with himself that he is hyper aware of being gentle, kind, and welcoming to others. He keeps his harshest comments to himself (unless they need to be said for help or defense) and is always mindful and aware of himself physically to avoid being rough with others.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

For his brothers and friends, hugs can range from side hugs in greeting, to barely there embraces in passing - a brief "hey, still here; still love you" - to full on cuddles. Cor will hug often but usually not for super long.

It really is his way of saying "I love you." And because actually saying that on Kamino would have been .... not ideal, he's conditioned himself to just do it naturally.

With a partner, though, things would go to the next level. Are you home? With no plans? Perfect, you're in Corkscrew's lap. Or buried into his side on the couch. Or curled on top of him in bed. And, if he's really comfortable with you, you'll be big spooning him. (OMG being little spoon is SUCH a revelation to him). Like, unless there is a reason not to be hugging, ya'll are hugging.

His hugs are warm and restorative. Not possessive, per se, but they make you feel like you're right where you belong.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Very rarely. Almost never to his brothers since to him, I love you sounds like goodbye. It's what brothers say when they fall.

He'll feel love long before he verbalizes it. He's only ever said it to a few of his closest vod. To his partner? He'll say it after they do, but even then, it'll be a big moment. Like, an anniversary or something important like that. After that, it'll still be used sparingly so the right partner needs to be aware that he may not say it in words, but he says it in so many other ways.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Yes he does get jealous. He never thought of himself as a particularly jealous person, but trainers or older vod he really admired giving more attention to others always kinda rubbed him wrong. But the first time he meets someone he connects with romantically???? MASSIVE JEALOUSY.

But Cor is coolheaded and will think things through. He's patient. He's not one to fly off the handle or start a fight. He'll watch to see how his partner reacts to the person. He'll still step in after a while (admittedly a short while) because he really doesn't like not being the center of your attention. But he'll only address his partner directly and never be outright rude or aggressive about it unless the other person escalates things. (Though he may be cocky and snarky by actively not addressing the other person at all. Like it's obvious they're being annoyed. It's almost like he'd be ok with it turning into a fight, even if that's not his intention.) It's less about the other person and more about the fact that he wants to be as central to your world as you are to his.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He doesn't really do platonic kisses, so that's out entirely.

For a partner, he goes with what he knows which at first is just on the lips. And he likes it. He really likes it. The intimacy of the act just does it for him. And if his partner lets out little hums and moans? He's in heaven. He loves the actual sensation of lips pressed to his and just the thought of knowing what you taste like. It's not until a partner kisses him first on his neck that he realizes how fun kisses can be elsewhere.

But to keep it PG, he'll usually default to a kiss on the lips for his partner any time he greets them or says goodbye. Every so often, he'll steal a kiss on your cheek in the middle of the day or in passing. And of course, he'll pepper small kisses on any skin he can reach when you're cuddling. If he's really in his feels about you, he'll pick up your hand and give that a kiss.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He's pretty good with kids. He never really spent much time with the cadets on Kamino after he was one, but his even temper and gentleness - and his cool kickass stories - make him very popular with kids. There are a few awkward moments the first time he really spends time with a little one, but he recovers quickly.

From the little experience he has, he does think about fatherhood in a positive light. It's not an end goal for him, but the idea of starting a family and raising a child with someone, having that bright energy in his life, is something that makes him warm and fuzzy.

What he can't handle is the chaos of a group of undisciplined children. He saw a bunch just being absolute menaces to their chaperones around Monument Plaza once and it was enough to make him question everything. His upbringing on Kamino may have been overly restrictive by nat-born standards, but he knows there is a happy medium that doesn't involve succumbing to the little terror's demands and screeches.

That's when he decides if he ever did marry and have a family, that the number of potential children gets capped at 2. No way will he willingly be outnumbered by his own creations.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Corkscrew is the kind of morning person who is so annoying. Not because he's chipper, but because it's like the morning doesn't phase him. There's no blinking sleep out of his eyes and slowly coming into consciousness for him. Nope, Cor is fully awake the moment his eyes open and he just goes about his day. Doesn't even need caf.

Mornings in the GAR will depend where his squad is at any time. But in an AU, he takes the slow quiet of the morning to get some personal tasks done before truly starting his day. A light breakfast (cereal because he knows his limits in the kitchen) and then he's getting through his core list to some music.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

In the GAR and on his own, Cor likes to use nights to decompress and be alone with his thoughts. He genuinely needs to wind down at the end of the day to be able to fall asleep. And growing up as he did, he appreciates a small bit of solitude to just focus on himself. It's the main time he can examine his own wants and needs without distraction.

But that doesn't mean he's a stick in the mud. He'll always be up for a night out at 79s or slightly illegal speeder racing (he just knows he'll likely be exhausted the next day) or even just hanging out with his brothers when the opportunity presents itself.

With a partner, it would pretty much be the same. Though if his partner were an introvert, then say goodbye lol. He'd go out with bros like once a month if that. If his partner wants to cuddle on the couch again, then he is 100% on board.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Cor is both open and closed off. Lemme explain.

There is virtually no difference in the way he'll treat close friends and new friends. He is open with his time, support, and energy right from the get go. And he'll reveal a lot about himself in this time - his preferences, his humor, his competitive side (which do not engage, he WILL win any challenge or die trying) all come through easily and naturally.

But there are two things about Corkscrew that only his closest loved ones know and he never even really opened up about them. More like these loved ones were close enough that Corkscrew didn't feel the need to push them down when they came up naturally. And they are...

How angry he can get when he feels like he's failed someone or someone he loves is going through something and he feels useless. All his gentleness and patience is gone. You're now looking at a born and bred soldier who only has one target.

Just how much he really does yearn for a normal, nat-born life.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It takes A LOT to get this guy really fired up. Easiest is to threaten someone he cares about, insult his brothers, or question his commitment to the GAR and the Republic.

Even then, he won't lose control. He's three steps ahead and has thought through the most likely fight progressions and outcomes. His training kicks into high gear and he keeps an even head throughout.

He's also not very stubborn or hard headed, which makes it much easier for him to remain calm in new situations or when challenged by new information.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He'll remember the important things. Like, he is not going to off the top of his head remember everything you say in passing. But he'll write down when you mention what your favorite flower is and he'll take note if you tend to order the same thing at restaurants. He'll watch how you take care of yourself so he'll know how to do it when you can't. And he'll study that list of important things until they are second nature to him.

But like, you'll have to remind him of important events coming up in your life that wouldn't be on his radar usually and you'll have to remind him a few times (he's really not used to how nat-borns have to manage their own lives rather than having everything sorted by the GAR).

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Corkscrew is not in a relationship and has never been, so he has no favorite moment as of yet. But he is really just looking forward to connecting with someone in that true and deep way, so any moment when he feels that would qualify.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Oh so very protective but not in a prohibitive way. The man is an adrenaline junkie. He understands recklessness. But he's also reasonable and responsible and will channel any reckless urges partners and brothers have into safe versions.

Basically, Cor will let his loved ones spread their wings wide however they want ... he'll just be their shadow making sure they stay safe.

Sometimes he's too hands off or not concerned enough - because he's confident that he can protect everyone himself. If anything goes wrong in those cases, he really beats himself up for it afterward.

As for him being protected, he doesn't like it. It makes him feel uncomfortable. Not because it means he's weak. But because he views his entire purpose as being a protector, so the idea that someone else would do the same for him doesn't sit right as it takes away his purpose. Obviously his brothers watch his back in battle all the time, but that's a little different. If any of them took a hit for him, he'd not handle it well.

Similar for a partner. He's the protector. You're the protected. End of story. It is really the only position he will not budge on. There is no situation where he will be ok with you taking on risk to prevent the same of him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Man tries SO HARD. Gives his all to everything all the time. How he has energy for it no one knows. It's a mystery and he just laughs at it.

He'll pick up extra duties on board if there's no action just to help out, and does his part at home, too.

(His closest brothers have ways to trick him into stopping for food or sleep because just telling him doesn't work unless you have the authority to stop him yourself. These tricks are because he has hurt himself before by pushing himself too far.)

And he's helped enough brothers plan special if not surreptitious dates for bothers before. So when it comes to planning dates with you, he's very proactive and on top of it. He'll try really hard with gifts but he's just not great at them to start with. He's insecure about his tastes and what you like and will second-guess his understanding of what you like. Give him a list or general ideas though and he's off to the races.

No matter what he gets you or what he plans for big days, he'll always put you at the center of it and make sure that you'll appreciate what he is bringing to the table,

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Corkscrew's altruism gets to unhealthy places if no one checks him and that leads to dangerous behavior. He also has the habit of pushing down his own wants and needs, but that's overflowed into pushing down any negative reaction or emotion if he feels overwhelmed. That means it's really hard for Cor to recognize he's reaching a breaking point either mentally or physically.

He also doesn't realize, but by deprioritizing himself and acting on his own when he thinks its best, he is pushing away and hurting those who love him.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

More than average level of vanity but not concieted. When all you see is the same face every day, you come to understand that dang, that is a handsome face. He takes good care of his hair (which is slightly longer than regulations but not enough to garner attention) and does enjoy the physical results of his conditioning and exercise.

Corkscrew is hot and he knows it and that's about as self-indulgent as he gets.

He got dared by his squad mates to cut a bit of his eyebrow off once (because they were aware he liked to be a "pretty boy"). But jokes on them, he liked the edginess it gave him and now it's a permanent feature.

He was legitimately concerned about the large scar that bisects his right thigh (transparisteel from his fighter shattered mid-battle and cut deep. He crashed into the docking bay of the Venator before passing out). It wasn't just that it was rough looking, but it was in a spot that only medics and bed partners would see, and the latter wouldn't think about scars the same way some brothers do, as badges of honor. He is still very self-conscious about it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He already doesn't. Cor really feels like something is missing. But his identity is so bound to the GAR that he convinces himself that the feeling is just longing and not a void in his very soul.

Once he finds a partner that he loves, Corkscrew would prefer spending every night together. He understands that may not always be possible, but damn he's gone so long without you that he can't go back to feeling incomplete.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Man is competitive as SHIT. Like, you wanna see him lose control without putting yourself in danger? Challenge him to anything. Literally anything. And like the small child he really is at heart, he can't let it go. But be warned, he's really adept at finding ways to win. And he'll keep rechallenging you until he's got you beat.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Selfishness and inconsideration. Being mindful is so part of who he is that someone who objectively doesn't operate at least a little in the same way would be incompatible. He'd grow resentful of them.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He has a pretty regular sleep pattern when on leave and non-active engagement, as is standard for the GAR. But he doesn't need to be. Corkscrew can nap for 30 minutes and be good to go. It's not fair and other brothers hate him for it (affectionately).

He does snore a bit, but lightly and he doesn't tend to move too much. Maybe that's why it's so restful?

He also likes both a shirt and sleep pants for bed. Much more than just boxers or even just pants.

That's all for Corkscrew for now. Keep an eye out for his NSFW Alphabet and maybe a ficlet or two in the near future!

Taglist*: @dreamie411, @wings-and-beskar @starrylothcat @sev-on-kamino @wolffegirlsunite @secondaryrealm @idontgetanysleep @freesia-writes @multi-fan-dom-madness @dystopicjumpsuit @sinfulsalutations @sunshinesdaydream @clonemedickix @wizardofrozz @anxiouspineapple99 @mythical-illustrator @dhawerdaverd

*Note about my taglist: I am still sorting out my Google storage so if you have signed up and don't see yourself here, the lack of storage means it's not updating my Google docs :/ I'm so sorry if that happened. You can message me and I'll add you manually. Or if you don't mind waiting, I hope to have this fixed soon and will put out a call for a new sign up :)

Check out my Masterlist for more Clone Wars and Bad Batch fics and hcs!

#my ocs #new oc #ct-2460 clone pilot Corkscrew #oc: corkscrew #tcw oc #star wars oc

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elliepassmore · 3 months

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The Tainted Cup review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: fantasy, sci-fi, greenpunk, murder mysteries, powers, disability rep

Big thanks to Netgalley, Del Rey, and the author for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

To start, I'll say I'm not sure whether to classify this book as fantasy or sci-fi since I feel it has elements of both. The world the book is set in is 'greenpunk,' with buildings grown from plants and things like AC from mushrooms, and the characters have powers augmented through some kind of medical procedure. At the same time though, there are leviathans that rise from the ocean depths and threaten the empire. The genre isn't really important, but I will say it isn't super clear-cut and think it could fit easily into both sci-fi and fantasy.

The world in the book is super interesting. As mentioned, the buildings are largely grown from plants, with some more plant-like than others. A lot of the buildings have fernpaper walls, which serve well to keep out the humidity and don't mold, while also being sturdy enough to stand and not too heavy in the case of an earthquake. A couple of buildings are made from a different plant that can be grown in any shape, allowing for a more personalized architecture. Plants are pretty central to life in the book, and are used for additional things like AC, vaccination, medical treatments, and human augmentation. I love all the plant stuff and think the focus on 'green' things is a really interesting worldbuilding piece that isn't used nearly often enough. We get a good background on how the greenery works without going too in-depth, though I honestly could read an encyclopedia on this world and be happy.

In terms of the augmentation, there's a breakdown of the different augments people can have, with grafts being temporary and more for things like increased immunity in humans or faster growing in plants, while suffusions are permanent and change a lot more about a person/plant. If someone is employed by the empire and has a suffusion they're called a Sublime, with Sublimes categorized into how their suffusion works (axioms are good w/ numbers, linguas are good w/ languages, spatiasts are good w/ spatial relations, engravers who memorize everything, cracklers who are superhumanly strong, etc.). It was really interesting to read about the suffusions and the different Sublimes, and I really enjoyed the background info we get on the augmentations. I also thought it was pretty cool how the augmentations seem to be everywhere, including to help plants do different things and to help medications and vaccines be produced against the wide range of issues people might come across.

While this is a SFF story, the bulk of it is the murder mystery. It's twisty and deliberate, but at the same time has moments when it's very fun. Ana reminds me at times of Benoit Blanc from Knives Out and I really enjoyed her method to solving mysteries. There's a good mix of humor and seriousness here, and I think Bennett struck a good balance between the two.

Din is a Sublime engraver recently assigned to be Ana's investigative assistant. He's a rule follower and so his and Ana's approaches clash at times, though never majorly. Din is very clearly dyslexic, which gave him trouble in training, and at times he runs up against needing to read things during the investigation, but he's figured out a work around using his engraving skills which I found to be a really smart way of going about it. He's clever and a good observer, and is able to put the pieces of things together quickly even though he's new to investigating. I liked seeing things through his eyes and and way he would meticulously go through a scene to find evidence. It was particularly interesting how he interviewed people because Din seems to have a knack for knowing how to circle a conversation around to what he really wants to know without being too obvious about it, thus putting the interviewee at ease and getting them to open up. It was wonderfully subtle the way he got people to open up.

Ana is the main investigator on the case and is not the sort of investigator you'd expect. She prefers to stay in her house (or later on, in her borrowed rooms) rather than going outside to investigate on her own, and when she does leave the comfort of her accommodations, it's with a blindfold on. I suspected she was autistic throughout the book, and then toward the end she basically comes out and says it (without saying it since...you know...this is a SFF novel not set in our world with our terminology). She's quick to make deductive leaps and is often several steps ahead of everyone else involved. It was fun to read as she snapped through deduction after deduction, using the evidence Din collected, and coming to a conclusion that made sense but you didn't always see coming. Ana is also pretty funny and I enjoyed the humor she brought to the book.

There are a bunch of side characters who come in and out of the story as needed, and I found them to be pretty well fleshed out. It definitely felt like each character had their own lives and concerns and didn't just cease to exist once they left Din's presence. Miljin is the side character who's probably around the most, he's one of the investigators working the case with Ana and Din. At first his demeanor was pretty gruff and unwelcoming, so I didn't think I'd like him much, but over the course of the book his character grew on me and I actually ended up liking him a lot. He's just the kind of person that doesn't immediately warm up to people, but once he does he's got quite the quick brain and lots of humor and advice to go around.

As mentioned, the main point of this book is the mystery. At the beginning, Ana was making all sorts of leaps that I just took her word for, but as the story continued, I began being able to make guesses of my own. Some of the stuff I was able to guess correctly, sometimes in a surprising way, but other times I was still puzzling it out when Ana and the others came to their conclusions. There are so many moving pieces and different elements to the mystery going on in this book, I enjoyed trying to figure out the solution myself as well as seeing what the actual solution was.

Overall I greatly enjoyed this book and I'm definitely looking forward to the next book in the series. This is the kind of book that makes me want more SFF backgrounds for mystery books, it added a really interesting layer to things that I enjoyed.

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persage · 2 years

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Can't Say It Back-S. HARRINGTON

Summary: At eighteen, Steve Harrington has learned how to really love someone. That someone it's not you. At nineteen, Steve Harrington breaks your heart and this time you hope it will be the last (six moments that led to this)

Words Count: 4k

Tags: Mentions of dyslexic!Steve - Set before Season 4 (currently thinking about doing a part 2)

Seven years old Steve Harrington has big brown eyes, a beautiful backpack and finally his first friend: Y/n Cunnigham. Tommy doesn't count, he is more like family and neither does his babysitter Becca, even if he really really loves her. He has discovered his mum pays her to be with him and that doesn't sound like something a friend should do. But Y/n, she's brand new. You sit next to him at school and compliment him when he does every stupid little thing. You help him when he can't write something correctly cause you are clever and play with him even if you don't like basketball. That makes him happier than ever. He shares his box of crayons with you 'cause he likes the way you draw and sometimes he steals jewels from his mom and gives them to you. Steve doesn't read well, sometimes words and letters just don't make sense him, they all mix with each other and it's a mess. When he has to read in class, you hold his hand so he doesn't give up.

Nine years old Steve Harrington sits next to someone else even if you keep waiting for him. "You're finally with the cool ones Harrington." Tommy says. Steve looks you in the eye intensely before laughing. You get mad and you hate him, 'cause you know him well enough to recognize that he is just pretending to be someone else and you are clever enough to understand that he grew up before you, even if it's not fair, even if it's too early. In class now he doesn't even try to read aloud anymore, Tommy and the others would make fun of him and you're not there to hold his hand.

At eleven you and Steve share math class. He is no good with numbers and so are you. You pass your time drawing as he looks around laughing with his friend. You both need help from a tutor to pass every test and have this obsession with math being useless, something invented just to make some people feel better then others. That's the only thing you have in common lately. So your professor pairs you up, assigns you more homeworks and somehow expects you to just magically get along and help each other. And you try, 'cause at least you undestand something about numbers, you just don't like studying them. "You're doing it wrong, you need to do the calculations in parentheses first."

"You're not my boss y/n. "

"I'm not trying to be. It's just math Harrington... and you are doing it wrong." On opposite sides of the same table, you keep working on your assignment and he won't give you a red pen, even if he has one that he doesn't need. So you laugh when you see him fail again. "Yeah...it's math and you suck too at it." He replies without even looking at you, eyebrows arched in an angry.and maybe at least a little bit - hurt expression. "But you suck more". He pauses, finally his eyes are on you and you think he is ugly and stupid, like every other boy your age. "Sorry" He murmurs, smiling lightly. Now he is not that ugly anymore. You shrug. "It's fine."

"You were right" He confesses. "I'm doing it wrong."

"I know, Steve." You reply, proudly. "You're not stupid, why are you here?" He asks. You look at him bewildered. "And why are you?"

"Because I'm stupid, Y/n." You would like to tell him that it is not true, that you don't like hearing these things. That he is intelligent, it's the others who don't know how to explain things to him in the right way. Instead you sit in heavy silence, flipping through pages of your book, cause in the end he still hasn't give you the red pen and he doesn't share his crayons with you anymore just like he doesn't share anything else.

At thirteen you are Steve Harrington's first kiss, even if it doesn't count cause it's just a stupid game at stupid Tommy Hagan's birthday party and you've complained from the moment the bottle of destiny - as Carol calls it- has chosen you two. "It's Harrington." You protest putting on a disgusted expression, because deep down you don't want anyone to see your embarrassment or the blush on your cheeks and you're terrified that your heartbeat could be heard even at distance. "I really have to do this? "

"Believe me, I don't want to kiss you either Cunnigham. There are way prettier girl in this room" You roll your eyes and he notices you do this a lot when he is around. "I'm not kissing him." You state. He is even uglier now, with little hairs on the chin and under the nose that he likes to call a beard. "It's a game Y/n you have to follow the rules" Tommy intervenes. "Not everyone knows how to play fair" Harrington comments. His words sound like a challenge, his face morphs into a grin and -again- you hate him. All eyes are on you and your friends are taking bets. Your eyes flit down to his lips for just one moment, then you get closer and he can't really believe this is actually happening. He waits for you to take a step back untill he can feel you hot breath on his own mouth. He keeps staring right past your shoulder where Tommy is laughing hard, He is afraid he will lose himself if his eyes met yours and then everybody would understand the horrible truth: Steve Harrington wants to kiss Y/n Cunnigham. Your lips meet without even realizing, a bit hesitant but soft. It's chaste, a simple touch of wet lips, steady hands, open eyes yet it's everything you've ever dreamed of, a stupid boy kissing you without even wanting to. None of this should matter, but...the boy is Steve Harrington of all the people, so you care.

At sixteen, Tina has organized the most amazing birthday party: a camping night in the woods with tends and wine, cans of beer, music and even a bonfire. It's something you've never done before and you are way too excited. It's been a good day so far and for once in your life you want to do something wrong. More than usual. When Tina offers you a cup full of cheap wine, you drink it all in one sip and immediately fill another glass only to throw that down perhaps too quickly. "Don't we have something stronger? " You ask. A guy you don't know makes you some fruity drink and the two of you stand close, he caress your hand as you take your cup with a loose smile. From faraway, behind the bonfire's flames, Steve Harrington smiles at you, raised eyebrow. It's stupid but it makes your heart stops and you suddenly feel warm. He his not the same as the kid you've kissed once, he is grown and it's no a coincidence that they call him King Steve now. He is the most charming boy at school, funny, handome, cool and you can't help but feel something for him, you can't even find a name for that emotion. It's an old affection and a stubborn bitterness, cause somewhere along the way you lost him and now you can only be a little part of his life when you used to be his all world. Everyone is talking too loudly, breathing in smoke, singing, dancing. People start slipping away slowly, disappearing in pairs or groups, holding hand or already kissing like nobody else is there. He moves closer to you. King Steve sees you alone, sitting there, and when you feel his body so near you pull your gaze away from the campfire and focus on him, the way the light defines the curve of his jaw, the slope of his nose, and the highpoints of his cheeks. He's perfect. "You shouldn't be here all alone Cunnigham. It's a party"

"I'm partying" You reply, showing him you cup full of alcohol. "What a funny girl, life of the party" He is sarcastic, and you know it, but you still smile. "I am, just not with everyone. Not everybody deserves me"

"Guess who'll be lucky enough."

"Not you, Harrington." He shakes his head, takes your cup and drink it all. He needs liquid courage, you stir him un and he can't help but feel this need of being near you and it had hirt him for so long it's driving him insane yet he never manages to really be with you, he just stand there somewhere between your friends. You go out with the same people and in the same places, but maybe that's not enough for him anymore. He laughs. "Obviously, you hate me."

"You've dumped me"You reply, hiding your smile. "I was nine, Y/n"

"Still haven't heard you say sorry." You get closer, blinking and putting on a puppy expression. "Sorry, really, I didn't mean to broke your tiny baby heart" He moves is hands dramatically and it's funny, it feels so right to be with him, to play together like children. "Mhh seven years late Stevie boy" After an embarrassing silence, you dedice to ask what you've been secretly questioning all night. "So where's Paula?" You know, just like everybody, that Steve Harrington doesn't have real releshionships, but still you wanna hear it with you ears. You wanna hear that the girl he's been seen kissing at the cinema it's nothing more than one of the many. It's stupid, maybe even bad, not feminist at all but... You can't help but feel that way. And you are way to drunk to be ethical. "I don't know, I don't care... She's not really my problem. "

"And that means...?" Steve rolls his eyes, leaning a little too close to you. "I think you know what that means, Y/n. You know me" He pauses, staring at you. "I don't know you Steve. I know the child Steve Harrington, not King Steve."

"It's not that different. "

"It is, like a lot" You breathe out, the air around you has never felt warmer, Steve Harrington never as unfamiliar as he is now. "I'm still him, the same boy who adored you." His eyes scan your face, they are everywhere, following imaginary roads on your skin and you lean on, your nose touching. You feel like you're floating somewhere between a memory and a dream. "You're such a good liar Harrington." So you kiss him, lips on his, as you smile. You move away before he can reciprocate. "Y/n, what are you doing?" He is breathless, confused and excited. "Nothing" You reply, laughing. He lets his fingers help through your hair, grab your head and gently brings you closer to him again. "I enjoy this nothing"

At eighteen, Steve Harrington has learned how to really love someone. That someone it's not you. And you are not really surprised cause it's always been so difficult between you two, bad timing and complications, silence and pride. So, eighteen years old Steve Harrington who knows how to love someone else - the most perfect girl in the whole universe if that makes it any better - it's your first time among the other things. And even if the premises are not the best, to tell the truth you could not imagine someone else in his place. He shows up at your door one day in the November of your senior year of high school. His face is swollen, his skin marked by blows, bruised he looks like someone who hasn't slept for too long. He rings at your door, regardless of the possibility that your parents will open, but luckily you are the one to do it. "Oh my god" Is all you can say. "Steve." You whisper, your hands shake, you place fingers on his warm skin. You haven't really spoken to each other from your kiss, nothing more than superficial conversations from acquaintances and no reference to your situation, of any kind. You are friends, perhaps and now he is in your home. He moves his head even closer to you, like a cat. "What happened to you?" You are scared. He looks at you for a while as if he is thinking about what to tell you or how to do it. "Nothing special, just a bad encounter with Hargrove"

"That bastard."

"Don't worry, really. I don't even know why I'm here"

As he's sitting on your bed he tells you about Billy's threats to Lucas and that he got beaten up for those kids, you have the feeling that something is missing, a piece of the story, but you say nothing and you keep applying ice to his wounds. "I wasn't the hero they needed ... Max had to think about it in the end" "Steve, Lucas would probably be in hospital if you weren't there. You're their hero, heroes don't always win ... Especially when bad guys smash a plate in their head." He puts his hand on yours and strokes you with his thumb, leaving you speechless and breathless. You don't know what's going on, you just know you don't want to be anywhere else. "I don't know what to do without you" You close your eyes, trying to calm your heart before making reckless gestures. "Steve" Your voice is thin. "What are you doing here?" You ask "I needed to see you ... I didn't want ... To be alone" He confesses, sincerely, letting his fingers run down your neck.

"Why me Steve? You should be with her ... Nancy"

"We broke up" he replies, you see a flash of suffering pass in his eyes but you decide to ignore it. "I'm sorry"

"But I'm here because I wanted to be here, with you. Not because we broke up. "

It makes your heart flutter You shouldn't care, this is all wrong, yet you want to pretend for a moment that you are different people entirely. He is not Steve, not Nancy Wheeler's ex boyfriend, not you childhood friend. His lips are on you neck. His lips are on your lips. He's breathing out your name like it's his religion. His warm skin against yours all that matters now.

"Are you s.. " He starts, breathless, his eyes flitting up and down your face, to your lips, always back to your lips. "I'm sure. I am " You cut in, gently. He leans in again and you do the same and God, you think while he undo your bra, his expert mouth kisses your breast and plays with your nipples. It's Steve Harrington, its always been Steve Harrington.

Nineteen years old y/n Cunningham says I love to a guy who can't say it back. You are back from college, on vacation you tell people, never going back you think. You always thought you know what you want, what you can do, who you want to be. But here you are, back at Howinks, lost and absolutely not ready to face your ex. You and Steve have been together for a short period after your first time, but again bad timing and too much insecurities made your relationship a living hell.

You had to go to college, he wasn't even accepted. Obviously it wasn't a problem for you. It was for him. "You deserve someone better" He'd whispered before letting you go, kissing tears away from your cheeks. You meet him again on your birthday, you have been in town for a few days and you decide to go and see the new shopping center, Starcourt mall, with your little sister Chrissy. Harrington wears a ridiculous uniform and despite this you can't help but find him handsome and sweet, you have to count to ten to not rush to hug him. He walks towards the parking next to a girl, dressed exactly like him. You've seen her a few times at school. He looks at her with admiration, Dustin is with them and he laughs with her. You can't help but feel your heart breaking. "Sorry I forgot to tell you, he works here." You don't reply and try to hide before they see you. "Y/n" Dustin's voice surprises you. It's too late. With a quick run Steve reaches you while you walk away. "Y/n wait!" You turn to him, trying to smile.

"Hey, Steve. How are you?"

"You're back" His voice is soft, he's studying you carefully. "Just for a little while" You hide your shaking hands behind your back. "Now I have to go" You tell him, running away before he can see you cry.

It happens a few days later. News of the Starcourt fire spreads in Hawkins quickly. And so you run and run, the car doesn't even seem to go fast enough. When you arrive, ambulances are everywhere and you can't see Steve. Filled with panic, your eyes shoot around the parking lot, gaining a worried glance from Steve's coworker who's sitting in the back of a truck. You keep looking around for any sign of the boy, your stomach churns as you begin to think of every possible thing that could've happened to him, tears begin to pool in your eyes. The girl who works with Steve places a hand on your shoulder, "Y/n?" You turn to face her. "You..."

"Yes, of course I know you. Steve talks a lot about you." She says. She'a mess, she's got bruises on her face and arms and she seems like about to break down, so you put a hand on her shoulder and squeeze it lightly to comfort her. "Are you okay...?"

"Robin, I'm Robin and yes, thank you. I'm okay, we all are" You smile, keep searching for Steve. You need to see him, to know if he really is okay. "Looking for somebody?" You can't bring yourself to answer, but it doesn't matter because Robin speaks up once again, "He is over there, see." Your head snaps forward, locking eyes with Steves. You run to him, quick to close the remaining distance between you, wrapping your arms around his body. He lets out a quiet cry and circles his arms around your waist. "Sorry.. Sorry are you hurt?" You ask, your face buried in his chest. He shakes is head. "I'm okay" His voice is raught and he trembles

"I-I thought... " You cry. "I'm fine I'm fine baby. Shit, I'm so glad you're here," He holds onto you tighter, almost as if he believes you would disappear if he lets go even for a second. You don't know what has really happened or what he has seen but you do the same thing, feeling in the exact same way: like you almost lost him for real. A relieved sob escapes your mouth as he leans back to gaze at you, taking in every inch of you face. Now you can fully see him to. He has been beaten, no fire - nothing but human hands- can do such a terrible thing. His face is a mess. "What... Steve what is this?"

"It's nothing." He replies, but his eyes are lost in a memory, distant and hurt. You caresses his damaged skin with all the delicacy and the dedication you have." Stop saying that Stevie, this is important. You are. Who did is to you? Fire don't do such things." He let's out a sob, the kind of sob so heart wrenching it hurts you to hear. He feel like he can't breathe, he can't focus on anything else besides the Russians beating him, the fear of dying and the fact he couldn't protect Robin and he have sold Dustin to them and they almost died cause he wasn't good enough to protect them. And its all hell and he can't tell you, cause he can't let you get involved with this shit. All he can smell is the blood, there's so much blood - his own, Hargrove's one, the flayed one. He doesn't really know - and smoke. He doesn't even realize how badly he's shaking until a steady and warm arm wraps around his shoulder again soon. You are the only thing that's keeping him calm. "It's okay. Y-You're okay." You his his forehead. He hugs and pull you closer, burying his head into your chest, tears and blood leaving stains on your shirt. "Stevie what happened?" You ask again. He shakes his head. "I don't wanna talk about it, not now." When he calms down you can't stop staring at him. He's right there in front of you and he is all you ever wanted, all you will ever need in life and you can't let him go, not again. "What" He finally says, a half laugh caught in his throat, a smile forming on his face. "I love you" You say simply, like it's this obvious thing. This easy thing. You love him. You love the fact that his eyes feel like summer and sun, everything about him shines like a million stars and he can make you laugh and show you a way of seeing things in life nobody else will ever think about. He looks at you in disbelief. "I love you too" That's what he wants to say. He has loved you since he was a stupid kid, and maybe you are the only one he has ever really loved. Not Nancy. Not Robin. He was searching for you in them, in the way they talk, in the way their brains work, in the intelligence and the way they never take him seriously. It never felt the same anyway. You love him and that's the most beautiful - heartbreaking- thing ever cause he can't say it back. He can't. He has one job: to protect you, the only way for keeping you away from all this mess is for you to be as far away as possible from this haunted city and from him. Even if it seems to be over and maybe they've really won this time... How can he be sure? They always think they can live their happy ever after but then there's always a new monster, a new danger to fight. People've died, this time way more than the others. Innocent people like you, living their life as always, not stupid kids who've decided to play the hero against the Upside Down. Maybe if he tells you the truth you would be safer, he could protect you, and for a moment it seems to be a great option, but now you live miles and miles away and in his heart he knows he must let you go. Even if it kills him. So he doesn't say it back, he just kisses you, trying to impress in his memory the taste of you lips, the softness of your skin and the perfume of your hair. Tomorrow will be another day and he will do what is neded. He will push you away forever, he will make you hate him.

"You don't love me" You say slowly. carefully. You don't know what to say, you could have believed it maybe when you they were nine or thirteen, or even seventeen even, now, though, you've been stupid enought to let yourself fall for a childish fantasy in which Steve Harrington acutally loved you. He blinks over you, trying to stop tears from coming. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I don't I... Care. But I don't love you... I'm in love with someone else." That's the most difficult thing he has ever done in his life. He has to pretend, pretend like there's no possibility for the future, but he doesn't want to live in a world where he doesn't need you. "Robin?" You ask, shaking. He nods, cause he doesn't know what to do or say. You smile. "She seems pretty cool" You reply, sobbing. "For a moment... I thought you..."

"It was egoistic but I wanted her here and... I've settled for you cause you were there" You close your eyes and back out of his bedroom- where you have spent the night with him, taking care of his wounded body, watching his restless sleep, calming him down during nightmares - and you walk down the stairs. He doesn't follow you. At nineteen, Steve Harrington breaks your heart and this time you hope it will be the last.

229 notes · View notes

weshney · 9 months

Text

Portal Panic Chapter 17

And A Partridge In A Pear Tree

Danny Phantom x Boku no Hero Academia

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Ao3 | FFn | Youtube Audiobook

Tags:

Mystery, Angst and Humor, Misunderstandings, No Romance, Friendship, Swearing, Slow Build, Rare Characters, Author Regrets Nothing, Except When The Characters Push Me Around And Give Me More Work, Like 5 Different Major Interwoven Plots At This Point

College Age Danny Fenton (20), Danny Fenton Gets a Hug, Or Three, Mostly From the Same Person But It's Fine, Danny's Fenton's Clones Are Little Shits, But Just to Him, Meddling Clockwork (Danny Phantom), Ghost Obsessions But They're Really Just Hyper-Fixation, Valerie Gray Jack & Maddie Fenton Know Danny's Secret, Supportive Jazz Jack and Maddie Fenton, dyslexic Jack Fenton, Phantom Planet Who?, no beta reader we die like danny

Mineta Minoru Doesn't Exist, Pre-Overhaul Arc (My Hero Academia), Well Kind Of, Midoriya Inko is a Ray of Sunshine, Bakugou Katsuki Needs a Hug, Eventual Happy Ending, Kirishima Eijirou is a Good Friend, One Main OC Needed For PlotTM, Protective Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, All Might's Trying Not To Have Heart Attack Buuuut, Retired Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Loosely Follows BNHA Canon, But in the Background

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A white shape suddenly zipped from the portal, and it was barely a second before Danny’s own monochrome blur overtook it. A series of barked coos, loose feathers and panicked flapping exploded from Danny’s hands as he held onto the mysterious creature. Frowning, a miniature ecto-shield formed around the open portal, effectively closing its door. It didn’t matter though, because not a moment later, the rift evaporated.

“What’cha got there, Danny-boy?” Mr. Fenton chirped, stepping away from a laptop that was connected via USB to a monstrous server beneath it.

“Uh—smoothie?”

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And then there was that damn Chisaki. Just the icing on this shit cake. If the Shie Hassakai expected the League to bow down and lick the dirt from their boots, they had another thing coming.

While it was obvious the yakuza were on to something big—whatever they’d shot Compress with was definitely worth stealing—there had to be a way to take advantage of that beaked bastard without ceding power.

Shigaraki’s red eyes passed unseeing over another row of games, until they suddenly sharpened on a dramatic cover art. Protagonists from several different franchises stood together, working to battle against a sea of Nohearts.

A wide smile pulled at cracked lips, splitting one and causing it to bleed; but he barely noticed.

Of course.

Why didn’t he think of it before?

A crossover.

#danny phantom #boku no hero acedamia #portal panic #dp x bnha #dp fanfiction #crossover #my hero academia #dp fanfic #dp x mha #dp crossover #fanfiction #fanfic

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fanterfane · 11 months

Text

The State of FanterFane, Now in ADHD!~

HEY YA'LL!

That's something I do now I guess, I say "YA'LL"! Either way, It's time for the first status update since the BIG ONE earlier this year. If you don't remember it or you're new, firstly, welcome, secondly, you can read it here: https://www.deviantart.com/fanterfane/journal/The-State-of-FanterFane-950469980. A lot of what I said here I'm still struggling with, and probably always will be, so it's still relevant. I've been told that several people have been recommended that post by Patreon because of it's high engagement, so I feel especial need to give the algorithm something better to serve. Also, this post is mainly about my struggles with ADHD, but it has other things and status updates sprinkled throughout. If you or someone you know has ADHD, I hope this helps!

For the sake of brevity though, I'll do a TL:DR right here. I developed carpal tunnel two months ago, and I've been working on treating it. It's been going pretty good lately, especially now that I finally have gotten my hands on ADHD medication after my long time lack thereof. As such, I've become much more productive and much, much happier! Things are looking up for me, and I'm hopeful for the future! Social acceptance for who I am now is still sometimes rough, but going better. SFW commissions have done wonders for my mental health, and I have plans for new art projects, commission queues, and more to try and do. I hope that you'll all continue to be the thing I get up for in the morning as I work to accomplish them! I'll be going on vacation next week, and I hope you all have a great summer!

Now for the super long part I don't fault anyone for NOT reading, here we go!

Earlier this year, it felt like I was spiraling down an unrecoverable path. Things I tried to do just wouldn't materialize. I would identify a problem like "My car is dirty" or "My room is messy" or even just "I should read and respond to this DM" and instead of working to solve it my anxiety would start up and make it so that I put it off. What if I messed it up? I was always so tired too, I just felt emotionless whenever I didn't feel sad. What if I just didn't deserve it anyway? What if all of this is a mistake? Those sorts of questions would plague me no matter what, preventing me from solving the very things giving me anxiety spiraling into even more anxiety. It was dumb, but mental health quite often is. It was getting so bad, that writing dialog and even just reading things started feeling like an anxiety induced dyslexic impossibility. For the longest time I assumed it was just depression, and that it would get better with time, but it hasn't over the years. Instead, it's only gotten worse year over year.

Now, I always get a little bit depressed every winter. Seasonal depression gets me down every year without fail, but this year was quite a bit more intense. The struggle between the two lives I live was really getting to me. I'd been doing ever more and more introspection, and discovering all the ways the way I was raised screwed me up definitely didn't help. Repressed memories often have a reason for being repressed. It doesn't help when the people you want to love you the most are the least supportive in your life, and might have even been partly the cause of some of your more unhealthy tendencies. Regardless of their intentions.

A big part of this issue though, I think at least, is that I've been unmedicated for my ADHD since High School. I stopped taking it as a Sophomore because I felt like I was smart enough to pass school without it, and that it wasn't helping me. The stigma against stimulants and medication in general was a big part of that decision. I was not self-aware enough at the time to realize that almost immediately my attention started suffering. It started slowly, too slowly for me to realize it at the moment, but gradually it became harder and harder to pay attention to class work over the years. It got so bad that in order for me to NOT fall asleep during class, I'd doodle on my classwork cause it kept me stimulated enough to stay awake. I'd always made good grades though, so I coasted through highschool on information osmosis and went on to community college, where it really started to catch up with me. Although again, I didn't realize it.

In community college, I had a couple of bad classes that really jarred me. Physics and Calculus. Physics was hard because the teacher was bad at teaching it, and 75% of that class failed the final, so I don't feel very bad about it. But the calculus class though, was the first time I'd ever felt like I'd failed myself in a class. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't understand the derivatives they tried to teach me. I passed, barely, but that was one of the times where I think my ADHD caught up to me, even if I didn't realize it. It wasn't much, but it was definitely a sign of things to come.

Once I got out of community college, I took a gap year between it and a longer stay at a university. During that time, I started trying to work on art more and more as a hobby. I started drawing possession, corruption, femboys, all that sorta wonderful stuff. Then Covid hit. My gap year turned to two, and suddenly that was long enough for me to have started an actual *career* doing this. Which was beyond crazy to me. It motivated me to no end, I wanted nothing more than to create and have fun creating for all my followers.

In the end though, my ADHD caught up to me. Like it always does. Once the initial honeymoon phase was over, and I settled into the hum and drum of being an online digital artist, it reared its head again.

You see, ADHD is not something that goes away. You may not think about it, but it's always there. ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, potentially being renamed soon to the ASD spectrum, is a mental disorder affecting the brain's dopamine pathway. People with ADHD struggle because they have less dopamine for everything than most other people do. This either leads to hyperactivity, because you need to do MORE to feel the normal amount of reward chemical (how I was when I was younger). Or it leads to Inattention, because nothing you do feels rewarded or worthwhile (how I am now). There's just physically not enough dopamine being released in my brain for it to function properly most of the time. That's why ADHD is treated with stimulants like Adderall or Vyvanse, because they stimulate the release of more dopamine in the pathways. Making everything feel *right*. My symptoms may have changed over the years through things like masking and other stuff, but I realized recently that it never went away.

At the end of last year, I started watching ADHD Youtube videos that were recommended to me by my friends who also have ADHD. Lo and behold, a lot of what I was struggling with was the poster child of adulthood with ADHD. Anxiety, inability to do basic tasks, procrastination, lack of motivation, etc etc. I was especially hit hard by the concept of "Executive Dysfunction". Executive dysfunction, common with ADHD, impairs planning, task prioritization, memory, execution, and emotional regulation. All things I've been struggling with for years to various extents. Also things that got worse whenever I was depressed.

Naturally, the first thing someone might do to solve this, is get treated/medicated. So that's what I tried. I enrolled in a private health care plan (self-employment doesn't get healthcare through their employer, GO USA) just to find out that it was in the middle of a ADHD medication shortage. I was eligible to get approved for VyVanse, the meds I took when I was a kid, because they were 500$ a bottle. My insurance was 250$ a month. So they denied it, citing that I "Haven't tried the other medications." The ones that I tried getting, Adderall and a couple other ones, were never in stock. Even my friends who already had medication started being unable to get any at all. It was around that time that I made The State of FanterFane post, because this really hit me hard. I'd done everything I was supposed to, but the world still shot me down for it.

Then, on top of everything else, I developed Carpal Tunnel. Which screwed me up even more mentally and physically. Suddenly, even when I WAS motivated (which was getting rarer and rarer) I couldn't even draw then because my wrist was constantly in pain. It really started feeling like things really were unsalvageable. I truly felt without hope for the first time since college, and before that high school. Like everything I had done up to that point was pointless, and only resulted in me sacrificing my health for something that would've never worked out.

...Until the first week of this month, June 2023. When one of my friends was able to get their hands on Adderall again, signaling the end of the shortage. I immediately took my prescription to my local pharmacy, and got my first ever bottle of Adderall XR. I had high hopes for what it would do for me, but the thing I didn't expect was for me to regain hope.

The next day, I took my first dose and proceeded to start deep cleaning and rearranging my entire room. I did laundry, folded clothes, wiped away dust EVERYWHERE, organized my belongings and important files for the first time EVER, unpacked moving boxes that hadn't moved in 2 years and much, much more! Essentially, I turned my entire room upside down over the course of a week. I can't really put into words just how liberating it felt, how finally being able to just see a problem, and then solve it immediately without any anxiety or self-doubt changed *everything*. Even better, every task completed was less anxiety to affect me whenever I felt down or depressed. I can't hate myself for having a messy room when it's so clean, it's literally *rearranged* after all!

To put it simply, it felt like my brain was *working again*. For the first time in literal YEARS. Once I was done cleaning, I moved onto working on art, posting, responding to messages and sorting personal files. These past three weeks have been three of the most productive weeks I've had in a very long time. I feel like I've not been this productive since the initial honeymoon phase of Dullahan Dilemma and the Attenborough collection (callback!). All the while, I got better at treating my carpal tunnel, to the point where it's not constantly pins and needling me anymore, and it even feels just generally better all the time! I've been getting better and better at doing various tasks, and I believe I'm truly on the road to recovery now.

Things from here are looking up! Genuinely! I wouldn't be here either if it wasn't for all of you kind people supporting me, even through the toughest times. I'm beyond grateful for that. I'd worship the ground you all walk on if I could. Without ya'll, I would not be here today. Forgive me for taking on a somewhat political tone, but I have no idea who I'd even be at this point without all of you, and all of my wonderful friends that I’ve met while doing this. Perhaps I'd have fallen deeper into the alt-right pipeline as a disenfranchised southern white guy. Becoming more homophobic and repressing my inner self even more than I already had been my entire life due to my upbringing. That was the only place I felt like I could fit into the conservative worldview my folks raised me in, after all. Maybe I would've gone back to school for a degree I couldn't use and in debt, landing in a terrible corporate job that didn't care for me. At least I would've got health insurance then, but also maybe all of my health problems would've gotten worse and worse and never got better, since I never would've had the motivation to fix them by working out, losing weight, and watching my diet. I honestly don't know, and thinking too deeply about the "what-ifs'' of it is pointless.

But now, what I can say is that when all the anxiety clears and the depression abates, I'm truly happy. For the first time in my life, I feel like I actually have an identity. Like my emotions actually do matter and that I'm not just some soulless machine whose only goal in life is to make money. I'm a human being. Although I may not be created in God's image, I have thoughts, feelings, and most importantly, flaws. I'm gay/bisexual, I'm not very masculine nor do I desire to be so, I like having long hair, and I like doing more effeminate things that most guys in the crowd I was falling into would balk at and blame on chemicals in the water. In other words, I feel healthier than ever. Mentally AND physically. I thank all of you, each and every single one, for staying with me throughout all of this. If any of you ever feel like you wanna reach out, especially if I can help you in some comparatively small way, please do. My DMs are always open, it's the LEAST I can do.

Some other things I should touch on- I've gotten a lot of surprising support for my transition from my extended family and friends. The closest is still the most difficult, I can't get my nails painted for instance, I was told not to when I asked, much to my chagrin. I've got a pride bracelet I've been wearing around, and no one has said anything about it, so that's good I suppose. Fox news still blares on the television in the living room, even after all the stuff that's gone down with *that* channel in recent times. I've given up on trying to convince them otherwise. I’ve been discredited anyway because I draw "X-rated shit", that doesn't make enough money. Even though as far as most people my generation are faring financially, I'm doing pretty good!

The SFW commissions have been going fantastic! Especially on the mental health side of things. It's helped me realize that I do in fact, have options. I'm not trapped doing one thing forever, which is honestly the thing that was scaring me the most. Just like the threat of a soul-draining corporate job till the day I die. I don't have to worry about what I'll be doing in 10 years, because I think I've built enough support and especially self-taught skill that no matter what I do, I'll be okay. It's only up from here, and I've even been feeling the flame of passion returning for TF and other lewdness! So you can for sure expect to see much more of that over the next few years, no matter what!

Speaking of money though, I have more plans for the future now too. I'm gonna make more money by doing more commissions and creating more sources of revenue. Just so that I can afford to move out, and get away from this toxic environment I find myself in. The cheapest apartments where I live run for about 750$ a month, so I'm hoping to save up over the next year and move the hell out. I think I'll be able to afford it, provided there are no extraneous events that hurt me financially. I'll be trying things like more YCH's, sketch commission streams like the patreon request streams, art packs, and maybe even merch! Ya'll be the first to be notified about any of this. The first YCH auction will hopefully be this weekend! It will be based on Nyan Cat possession, and the MC will be trying to run away from the cringey 2000's era meme culture that haunts them to this day. Thing is, the past has a funny way of coming back to haunt you!~

Finally, I'm going on vacation next week to see some friends in LA! If you're someone I know/trust around the LA area, and you wanna meet up, let me know in DMs and we'll see if we can arrange it! I may take a further vacation the week after for rest, but after that we'll be back to regularly scheduled LEWDNESS work!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for coming with me and supporting me on this journey. Happy pride month, and I hope everyone has a great Summer! I love all of you! Here's to several more years of FanterFane!

XOXO,

FanterFane

#announcement #adhd #my adhd #living with adhd

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