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lovingyouislikeafairytale · 1 year

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love letters?

I look in her eyes and my heart tells me to leap and the parachute would be her. Somehow I can see how I wanna be when I'm with you. My thoughts are destroying me, I tried not to think. Scars in my body, telling me to give up, voices in my head so juvenile. She thinks I'm too reckless, and promised you I won't fold. Would you care? care at all? Why won't you ever be the first one to break? Why won't you ever say what you want to say? We haven't talked since I boarded the train. I hurt myself a thousand times to feel smth in my soul, feeling like in the end we'll be good together no? no. Why did my head just hollow out?

I hope you're happy with him.

I'm feeling like a stone, waiting by the window for you, it's hard to move, I'm living in the blue. I can't sleep anymore, no point in turning off the lights. I have to learn to let go, it kills me a little, it's okay. can't believe i lost you within all of them or is it just my thoughts? our smiles turned to tears, our moment's gone? I was hoping it hasn't. you're no longer here. We've lost it all, I could've said something that could've saved our fall. we could've stopped it this time but we stalled. I'm going insane, I can't live this way, without you? I wish I could let go of this mind you know? Who have we become? Begging myself to change god knows I tried. Please don't leave me behind. I love you now matter how much you take. Just don't leave me behind? We got to each other just in time. I can barely see shit, I might be forever gone. can we not rearrange the pieces? an empty theater with me playing you our song?

I know I can make it, but not without you. I've been writing paragraphs about you, I hope you get to see them one day. Your memories are playing in my mind, am I going insane?

I'm tired of being stranded, hope I get to see you holding my hands again, you know?

What does love mean when the end is rolling in since it has started? Did we even love one another? Can none of us save each other? Weren't we the same? We were one in the same. Blaming myself, alarming myself before I fall in love, with drunk eyes, can we never be together? If you'll be mine, let me see my madness, but I know you're not in love anymore. When the dusk comes in everytime you're the fallback. Am I even made for you?

I'm talking backwards,

sprinting with my eyes closed

We can wait until the sunrise

Let your heart just rest on mine

Got you dancing in my room,

but were in space though,

we're floating off a cliff

It's still in my head.

Staring at the city lights,

On the brightside, think I'm about to fall in love with you.

Girl I ain't mad at this, cause none of this is real

I'm sober for the night, I came to lie

It's 5 am on the brightside,

I'm thinking of you

I'm in love for too long.

i get anxiety everytime you're online. this life I've lived is full of regrets. we used to be so close, we used to never have hours apart without one of us hearing eachother regardless if it was a text or our voices. you were like a pretty dream far away from reality. reality that hits me everyday. now we don't talk for weeks and yeah it's probably all in my head but i really think i lost you long ago. i can't pretend anymore. i've fallen into emptiness, now i just watch you from afar. i know there's nothing after this. you'd rather leave me than to watch me die in your arms. your hands there on my face, there will be no better place. staring at the freeway, thinking about what you said. see you while I'm asleep. nineteen, suffocating in my sheets, how could i be scared with you right by my side. now you're passing like the seasons. I compromised when i knew you wanted more, girl i try. we've got some problems i can't find. you're all that i needed till my last day. have i been walking through your brain, girl?

rerouting

i guess she was all in my mind, i'm parched, so i'm drinking your lies. why can't you wait till you fall out of love? i don't wanna cry, i just can't get you out of my mind. don't tell me you cried cause i know that you didn't. cause you tore apart whatever i had and i listened, why did i listen? if i don't see you anymore, just send your heartbeat, I'll go. to the stars. where they don't find us no more. i know it's not my place to say I love you, but who's it up to? i've loved our good times here. there isn't enough room for you and i. only you. maybe in another life?

i wrote you some notes, they're atrocious.

(frozen, oh hopeless)

we're out of time my love

my only one

looking at you smiling through my polaroid

I'm so in love.

I wanna feel your touch

while we fall apart, looking at stars

in a pink sky

we go far

in the deep end

girl hold on to me

hold on till we make things right.

(look at the stars tonight, they all just remind me of you)

I fly in my head

you be by side,

let your heart just rest

on mine

Got nowhere to go

let her rain just pour

let me look at you

while we're slow dancing

in my room, with the dim lights on

girl we'll be alright

looking at the moon

on the brightside

we'll be alright.

I don't want to cry

have them butterflies

loving you even if it's play pretend

till I feel nothing at all.

I don't feel you anymore but I'm scared to feel what you made me feel ever again. i can't see you, just our glimpses, of us walking, of us holding hands in the rain, you hugging me till i was warm, our first kiss in your room, i tried to let you go, but you never did. did you? I'm walking through your street with sweaty palms like it was the first time, i don't feel them anymore. I've had a heart that don't speak to me no more. you knew how long it'd take to fix my heart, my heart is still in love with you, i lie in my bed hoping you're okay wherever you are, whoever you are with. I've finally run out of runway i guess, above ground level, i feel a crash coming. you should've found your own way home you know? i never went to prom but I'm waltzing with my miseries now, somewhere makes me feel I'm right where i belong. misery is default, i can't run away from it if that's only part of me i still recognise. i think about you all the time. I've waited for you my whole life, i need you here by my side, just holding my hand, and I'll be just right. you're everything i dreamed of, being friends didn't make it much easier. you can't i get you out of my head? my friends say i threw my life away, no shit i did. i don't wanna come back home, to an empty home. i had a different one for i was with you. who am i now that I'm lonely? only if those cherry trees blossomed, that'd finally cure my heartbreak. your memories have faded, I've let go but i wish i could quit you. this screen will never let us hold hands, a perfect hand to hold on imperfect lonely roads. when you wanna let go, I'll be back when you're lonely. why you gotta let go? why you gotta move on? our love didn't survive through the winter time. a broken heart led me to you back when darkness was all i had to hold to darkness all over again. I'll just have to keep needing you. Now I'm making my way home, nearly passing out.

( i wish you thought of yourself, the way i thought of you. )

3 notes · View notes

twjournals · 3 years

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So Wrong It's Right

Sequel: What's Wrong is Right

Warning: dark!Peter Parker x reader, DUB-CON, manipulation, age gap, drinking

PLEASE READ MY WARNING BEFORE CONTINUING. I am not responsible for your media consumption. Any and all negativity will be blocked.

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You're an old troubled friend of May's. Your life consists of being a workaholic, a party animal, and bringing home the shittest of guys for a one-hit-wonder. Just when you get your life in order, you're knocked right back into your old habits. Peter has watched you suffer long enough. He can make it all better.

Your life was far from where you thought you would be. It was sad to say, but you were anything but a role model. Yet May still tolerated you, regardless of Peter. Maybe she used you as an example to show Peter what not to be or maybe she was just too good of a friend to leave you on your own. To say the least, your life was a mess but you could not be more grateful to have a friend like May.

"Peter, go get me a wet rag, please," May spoke quietly. Peter left your side once he helped May get you over to the couch. You were beyond the limits that someone should be drunk.

You were in a fit of hiccups, giggling to yourself as May bent down to take off your heels. You had far too many drinks, that much was clear.

"Maaay, you.." you hiccupped, "are suuuch a good.." you hiccupped again, "friend."

May shook her head with a sigh, taking in the drunken sight of you. She was not sure how you managed to let yourself get this far gone, but every time you would drink, this is how you ended up. Either you had zero limits or you loved to push the limits you did have.

"Pet-" May started to call over her shoulder, but Peter was already hurrying in the room with his hands full.

"I'm here, Aunt May." Peter reminded and she watched as Peter sat the trash can nearby the couch. He then placed the bottle of water on the table with some medicine for the headache he knew would come with your awake in the morning. He kneeled down beside you on the couch, pressing the rag to your forehead.

May only smiled to herself as she pulled the blanket from its spot on the back of the couch and pulled it over your figure. She didn't say anymore. Peter had seen his Aunt May take care of you many nights when you were so shit-faced it was a wonder you could still see faces.

Your head was propped up against a pillow on the couch as Peter wiped your forehead with the cool rag. Your skin was burning up. Peter could not help but wonder how you let yourself get like this. You were quite a few years younger than May, but it amazed him how different the two of you were to be the best of friends.

You were fast asleep in no time, making Peter smile as his eyes gazed over your face. He had always thought you were so beautiful. Too precious to be taken advantage of by the guys you went after. He witnessed many nights when you had told Aunt May about a new guy you had hooked up with. Everyone knew it was nothing more than a one-night stand, but Peter could not help but hate any guys that touched you only for only their benefit.

It was not until you had eventually settled down with a guy you had met from one of your nightstands that you finally stopped ending up on May's couch. You had moved on with your life, still keeping in contact with May every now and then. You were happy. Not just the sex but he was truly seemed like a guy you could see yourself spending forever with.

You had stopped drinking. You had stopped going out to parties. After the first year, you had moved into the city and got an apartment together. Another year later, you guys were engaged and everything seemed to fall into place. After 3 years, the wedding was right around the corner.

Your world moved at a quicker pace now considering all the things you needed to get done before the wedding. In between work and house chores, you were planning for your big day.

As time went by, you were so wrapped up in your own little world you did not notice the slow-burning flame in your partner slowly being put out. While your plans had been coming together, your relationship was falling apart. You had for the most part ignored all the signs and assumed he was having a bad day. It amazed you how many he was having. When you would try to talk to him, it seemed useless since you could never get him to talk about it. In reality, it all brewed into something bigger. It all hit you like a ton of bricks.

You had been working later hours than usual for extra money. It wasn't cheap, but you had told yourself it was okay to want the things you wanted. After all, this was going to be your first and hopefully wedding. You wanted everything to be perfect. You even tried to get opinions from your fiance to include his vision of it, but he insisted you were better at this sort of thing. You couldn't argue with that.

You wrapped up your work at the office fairly early so you decided to call it a night and surprise your fiance. You felt like everything was on track. One night worry-free was much needed. You had earned it.

You pushed open the front door to your apartment before walking through the living room into the kitchen. You sit your keys on the counter, placing your bag on the stool by the counter. You peered around the apartment for a moment. All the lights were off and it was quiet. Had he already gone to bed? You checked the time.

7:13pm

You were surprised you did not hear his game or at least him yelling at it. You started down the hallway to the bedroom you shared, staring at the closed door. Why was it closed when it was just him? You shook the thought a little too soon. Maybe if you had just thought a little longer, you would have prepared yourself for what was on the other side.

You pushed the door open just a little to see inside when you heard a faint moan from the other side. Your heart stopped. You stood in shock taking in the sight of the man you were in love with hovered over another girl in your bed under your covers. Your face was hot in embarrassment, anger. You were feeling so many things right now you could not think straight. You were hurt.

"Are you serious??" You blurted out, causing them both to jump to try and cover themselves.

"You're sick, Chris." She shoved his chest, pushing him off of her as she quickly got out of the bed. "He told me you guys were no longer together."

She scowled as she hurried to gather her clothes off the floor and pulling them on. If it were even possible, your eyes could have burned holes through the girl. You were in disbelief. Your jaw would have already been on the floor if it wasn't connected to your face.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled, embarrassed as she hurried past you out of your apartment.

You were left to deal with Chris. You starred at him with tears kissing your eyes.

"I-"

You took a deep breath, shaking your head. "Don't."

"I can explain." He started to get out of the bed to dress.

"There's nothing to explain, Chris." You stared at him, trying to restrain yourself from coming across the room and punching him in the face for acting like an explanation could even justify his actions.

"She meant nothing to me." He started to walk over to you.

“You told her we weren’t together. How is that nothing?”

“It felt like we weren’t. You were so busy.” He tried to touch your arm but you shoved his hand away.

"Don't you dare think about touching me when you were just touching another woman." You looked at him with dark eyes, struggling to fight back the cry. He wasn't worth your tears. "I want you to get out."

"Get out?! Where am I gonna go?"

"I don't know." You shrugged your shoulders. "Maybe you could have thought that through."

He frowned, running his fingers through his hair frustrated. "It doesn't have to be like this. Can't we just talk this out?"

"No!" You shouted at him, making his eyes grow wide. You could tell he wasn't telling this as seriously as you. "I don't want to look at you right now." You turn to leave the room, but he grabs your arms to turn you to face him.

"Please. Look, I can- I can stay on the couch tonight. I'll give you your space and when you're ready we can talk about it. I was wrong for that. I fucked up and I'm sorry." You yanked yourself from his hold.

"You can give me space by leaving. Pack yourself a bag and go."

"I love you, Y/n. I never meant to hurt you."

You shook your head as your eyes wandered over the bed to where they once were before meeting his eyes. "You mean you never meant to get caught."

He sighed before hanging his head in defeat and walking by you to gather up some of his things. You didn't move from your spot. Only stared at the mess of a bed. The place you made love to him while he made love to another. You listened to the front door close behind him on his way out before you finally covered your face, letting the tears fall.

For days, weeks, all you could seem to do was feel sorry for yourself. You couldn't find the strength to get out of bed. No matter how many calls you received, you let them ring through to voicemail. Everything you had felt for him was in ruins. You changed for him. You let yourself grow for him and even that wasn't enough. After all the time you spent picking up after him, cooking, cleaning, planning, staying loyal for crying out loud. You didn't know what else he could of you.

You had called off the wedding in the time you stayed closed up in your apartment. Even took some time off of work to handle it all. You took that time to gather every piece of him scattered around the apartment and packed it up. You wanted to end this as painless as possible aside from the pain you were already feeling. You had thrown away the sheets and replaced them, even get a new comforter and it still didn't feel the same anymore to lay in your bed. You stared at your phone beside you as it lit up for what felt like the hundredth time. You finally sighed, lifting the phone. You knew without even looking at the name it was from him.

You canceled the wedding? It doesn't have to be like this. I still love you, Y/n. You were so busy with work and all the planning. You abandon me. Whenever I wanted your attention, you were always too tired to pay any attention to me.

It's like the girl I fell in love with was gone. Some time ago, you couldn’t keep your hands off of me now it’s like I have to beg you to touch me.

You're being selfish.

You can't be THAT mad, Y/n. I’m a man. I have needs. You were busy and she was willing to help. We can fix this. Don’t give up 3 years. Don’t give up on me.

There were loads more, but you could not care to bother reading the rest. You tossed your phone back down on the bed, rubbing your hands over your face. You didn't owe him anything, not even a response. The girl he was talking about was not gone. She was only on hold to plan a wedding by herself and it was more stressful than he knew. You wanted to forget everything that had happened. You wanted to forget you wasted 3 years of your life planning on growing old with this man.

You weren't sure how you had got this far and with that being said, May wasn't either. You had talked May into joining you to a night out at a club. She needed a night to herself and you needed a break from everything. Along with that, if you had stayed inside that house a moment longer, you might have gone insane.

"You're going to be hammered if you keep on like that." May reminded with a laugh, both of you clinging onto the bar and each other for the extra support. You thanked the bartender as he pushed your last round of shot glasses in front of the two of you.

You smiled, passing a glass to May before keeping one for yourself.

"We can only hope." You winked at the bartender who only chuckled before clinking your shot glass with hers and downing your shot.

Your throat was already numb from all the alcohol you had already numbed it with. May wasn't far behind you. You took your final shot, grinning and pulling May along with you to the dancefloor to get lost in the sea of people. You threw your arms around May's, moving your hips as you both danced to the music.

This was the therapy you needed. Sometimes you had longed for nights like this. You had freedom. You had no worries, aside from worrying who you might wake up beside. But you had fallen in love and even though you had grown up, you had not nearly grown out of this lifestyle. It was all too familiar.

"Hey! I'm going to the bathroom! I'll be back!" May moved closer to you, raising her voice to be heard over the loud music. You nodded, watching her pushing her way through the crowd of people to get to the ladies' bathroom before easing yourself back into your dancing.

You swayed, grinding your hips with the rest of the crowd. You weren't the slightest bit bothered to be dancing by yourself. You used to lose yourself on the dancefloor for hours days after days years ago.

"I've missed this." You heard a familiar voice speak from behind you, startling you when their hands landed on your hips with your sway. They pulled you back against them, catching you off guard. "I've missed you." He mumbled in your ear, sending chills down your spine.

You peaked over your shoulder to make sure your mind was not playing tricks on you. It wasn't. You prayed it was an old one-night stand, but of course, it was the one person you were trying to get away from.

"It doesn't work like that, Chris." You dropped your hands down to his on your hips, trying to push them off your hips but they only hold you tighter. "Get- get off of me." You gritted through your teeth as your eyes glared at him. "Get off!" You raised your voice.

"Now, now, let's not cause a scene. You've had quite a bit to drink haven't you?" He wrapped your arms around your figure, making your blood run cold as his body pressed to yours.

"That's none of your business."

"I'm your fiance. You are my business."

"Ex." You corrected him. His nose flared slightly.

"You really want to go there? You're nothing without me. You're shit-faced in the middle of the club and you can't even accept my help?" He growled and you pushed on his arms.

"I don't need your help."

"You're drunk. You don't know what you need." He spat.

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted your argument. "I think I've got it from here." You looked up to put a face to the voice, your eyes widening slightly.

"And you are?" Chris didn't budge while staring down Peter as if challenging him.

Peter was reaching his hand out for yours. "Her boyfriend." You stared up at Peter in shock at how much he had changed over the years and he smiled reassuringly.

Chris stiffed slightly and you could feel his eyes burning a hole into you. "Is that true?"

You didn't take your eyes off of Peter, taking a hold of his hand and letting him pull you out of Chris's arms. "Yes." Your voice was hushed.

Chris scowled. "Wow. I wish you luck there, man. She's a real catch." He laughed, making you look down. You couldn't believe he was really trying to ruin your night when he had already ruined everything else.

Peter only snaked his arm around your waist, letting his hand settle on your hip while his eyes never left Chris's. "She certainly is." He agreed. He gave your body a warm squeeze, grabbing you closer into his embrace. "Now, if you'll excuse us."

With that, he guided you through the crowd off of the dance floor.

"You okay?" He finally broke the silence once he got you back to the bar, sitting you down on one of the stools.

You nodded, letting your eyes wander up to him as he motioned the bartender over. "I'm just curious as to why you're here right now. Aren't you supposed to be in college?"

He smiled as he pulled out his wallet to pay your tab and you grabbed his hand, shaking your head. "No, no. I can pay for my own."

"What if I insist?"

"You don't have to, honestly. I have money."

You started to reach into your purse for some cash but Peter covered your hand, giving you another reassuring smile.

"You'll have plenty of other times to pay. I'll get it this time." He reminded you and you sighed in defeat, giving him a playful scowl. He only grinned, proceeding to pull some cash from his wallet to give to the bartender.

"You didn't answer my question." You continued as he turned back to you.

"I'm still college. I just sometimes stay with Aunt May on the weekends."

"And you just so happened to be here?"

Peter chuckled, pointing in May's direction as she stumbled over her feet returning back to the two of us. "Aunt May called."

You raised your eyebrow, looking over at May as she stood beside you now. "You called Peter?"

"Someone has to get you back home." She reminded you and you hit her arm slightly, tilting your head.

"May, I could have got a taxi or an uber. You didn't have to call him for me." You scowled at her and she shook her head in a tsking manner.

"No, no, no. I called Peter so I can rest assured you got home safely and not by some random stranger."

You rolled your eyes slightly and Peter butted in with an awkward chuckle. "I really don't mind. I don't consider this anything out of the way. I'd rather it be me than some stranger or someone." He noticed him giving the floor a swift scan around the three of you.

"Fine." You pouted your bottom lip slightly before rising from your seat at the bar. "You guys make me feel irresponsible or something." You grabbed a hold of May's arm and pulling her with you to the exit of the club while Peter followed behind the two of you.

"Are you coming?" You muttered over to May and she shook her head.

"Happy is here." Just as the words left her mouth when you started out the door, you spotted Happy parked in front of the building to pick up May. "Peter isn't too bad of a driver." You stopped in front of Happy's car.

"Oh goody, rest secured." You muttered and she laughed. Your arms looped around May's neck, hugging her tight. "I'm so glad to have you back. Message me when you get home." You told her and Happy a quick goodnight before letting her go.

Peter led you over to his car, unlocking the car and opening the passenger side for you. You settled comfortably in the front seat, leaning your head back against the headrest. You didn't like how it felt as if you couldn't take care of yourself, but you were in no position to complain when Peter Parker had yet again saved the day.

Peter glanced over at you in the passenger seat from time to time as he drove the distance to your apartment. He tried to keep the glances quick to keep you from noticing. You were just as beautiful as he remembered. It had been years since he had actually seen you, but you seemed like the Y/n he still remembered. Not that it was anything bad. He adored you then, and now a bit more.

He had always had the hots for you for as long as you remembered. Of course, you never minded when you ended up staying with him and Aunt May. You were always kind to Peter and he did his best to nurse you back to health to take on the hangover that awaited you the next morning.

He had never forgotten what you said to him one day while you were sick from the night before. You had been clinging onto the toilet and he had taken the opportunity to hold your hair back out of your face to keep from getting anything in it.

You sighed as he rubbed your back in soothing circles. You leaned against the toilet miserably. That was the day you learned to stay away from tequila.

"I hope I meet a guy at least half as amazing as you someday, Peter."

No doubt did the compliment find its way to his cheeks. He blushed a deep shade of red. He tried to restrain himself from making a big deal but it was a big deal to him. Though he knew he didn't stand a chance right now with his age, it meant if he had been of age, he had a chance. He thought about it even when you had stopped coming around so much. He knew this was all a coping method for you. You were hurting then and he could tell by the way you seemed toward the guy back there that there was more to that counter.

He noticed your shiver as you stared out the window. You mentally cursed yourself for wearing something this revealing. You rubbed your arms to try to warm yourself a little. Peter reached behind him in the back seat to retrieve a hoodie of his he always forgot in the car and handing it to you.

"Here." He offered before fumbling with the heat in the car. He smiled at your quiet thank you, putting your arms in the hoodie and pulling it close for warmth with putting it all the way on. He tried to control the big grin threatening to break across his face.

"I'm sorry you had to keep seeing me like this." You looked over at Peter as he kept his eyes on the road. He didn't realize how thankful you were for him in times like this. It was embarrassing how many times this had happened but you were still thankful Peter didn't think any less of you.

"You really don’t have to apologize.” He smiled at her before turning his attention back to the road.

“I really do though. I feel like you’ve taken care of me enough. I’m grown, you know? It should be the other way around.” You giggled and Peter glanced over at you.

“I’m 21.” He reminded you.

“And I’m pushing 30.”

“You’re 28. You’re still young.” He chuckled.

“Almost 29!” You huffed as he pulled into the parking lot to your apartment. “My point is- you know what my point is.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at your frustration. Your age didn’t matter to him. He could always settle for his MJ, his best friend, but seeing you tonight relit the flame to his crush for you. There was just something about you.

He parked the car in the parking lot, walking around to your side to open the door for you. You slid your arms out of his hoodie and leaving it in the seat as he helped you out of the car. You could feel the shots hitting you all at once when you stood. You stumbled out in your heels, grabbing onto Peter’s arms for support.

“Easy now.” He held onto your waist as he guided you to your apartment, asking for your keys. He took your keys when you dug them out of your pocket, letting you in your apartment.

You couldn’t help but notice all the little things he did for you. You kicked off your heels at the door, stumbling over your own two feet again as you wandered down the hallway to your bedroom. You could hear Peter in the kitchen getting you a bottle of water from the fridge along with some medicine from the medicine cabinet.

You sat on the bed when you hear his footsteps coming down the hallway toward the bedroom. You looked up at him, pouting your bottom lip out slightly when you saw him with a bottle of water and medicine for the headache to come.

He set them down on your nightstand, noticing your pout. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Peter, you’re seriously too good to me.” You sighed.

“How’s that?” He looked down at you as he towered over you.

You motioned over to the stuff he had placed on your nightstand and frowning. “All of this. You- you really didn’t have to do this for me.”

“You’re right I don’t. But I want to. I would want it done for me if I were ever in your shoes.”

You laughed slightly at the thought of Peter drunk and you smiled to yourself. “I would definitely be there anytime you needed me.”

You thought back to all the time you had ever been drunk, remembering all the time you woke up to water and medicine from him. Only from him. Even a trash can in case you were to ever get sick, but you never got that with Chris. You always took care of him, but no one ever took care of you. You shook your head with a frown. You had tried so hard to hold it together, but it felt like you were slowly falling apart. He wasn't worth your tears, yet he was always the cause of them.

He kneeled down in front of you, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Talk to me. Everything okay?”

You couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “Why am I never enough?”

His eyes widened at your words. “You are more than enough and anyone who doesn’t see that, who doesn’t appreciate you and the things you do for them doesn’t deserve you.” He corrected you, his thumb stroked over your jaw as he held your face to keep your attention.

You didn't know what to say. All you could do was stare. Your eyes scanned over his face before stopping at his lips. Don't. Don't you do it. You mentally told yourself. You couldn't control the effect the alcohol had on your mind and your actions. You tried to fight back the urge but the alcohol only pushed down the buriers you had built.

Your lips smashed against his firmly, catching him by surprise. He was frozen about your lips for a first, in shock, this was actually happening but he surely gave in the kiss. Your hands grabbed at the back of his neck and pulling him onto the bed with you without breaking the hungry desperate kiss. His body hovered over yours as your fingers curled against his shirt, gripping on it. You knew it was wrong. It was so wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

Your smaller hands slid underneath his shirt, brushing your hands over his defined abs. He was sculpted by a God. He knew he should stop, but he couldn't find it in him to stop. He didn't want to miss his chance to prove himself to you. He wanted to take care of you.

Your lips parted for air even though you left like you could hardly catch your breath when his lips started to kiss down your neck. Your hands tugged on his shirt until you started to pull it up and over your head.

His hands pushed your tight dress up the curves of your body, tossing it beside the bed once he peeled it from your body. Your lips still tingled from the loss of his and you whined quietly, your hand grasped the curls at the nape of his neck to bring his lips back to yours.

He kissed your lips passionately and letting your lips mold together. He could taste the alcohol on your tongue but it didn't bother him any. He had dreamed of this moment since he was a teen. Your fingers worked desperately to undo his jeans, feeling his bulge already through his pants before your hands pushed his pants off of his hips along with your boxers.

You were so desperate. You couldn't stop the whine that escaped against his lips. "Peter, please..." His cock twitched at the sound of his name falling from your lips.

He dragged your panties down your legs swiftly, placing himself back between them when he spread them open again. He peppered light kisses to your lips as he dragged the tip of precum-coated tip through your folds, not wasting any time to give you what you wanted.

You cried out as you clung to Peter's bareback, feeling his cock stretching you in all the ways you craved. You moaned out, letting him swallow them in a kiss as his hips rolled into yours again and again. He sighed in pleasure against your lips as your walls invited him in. You were even better than he could have imagined.

He couldn't believe this was actually happening. His lips covered your body in his kisses, admiring every part of your body as it sang for him. This was nothing like what you used to. He pressed small kisses against your bottom lip, nibbling on it as your core ached with a building climax. Your legs wrapped around his hips, causing you to gasp at the deeper strokes.

Your head fell back against the pillows, a loud moan drawing from your parted lips. Your fingers held onto Peter's hair as he hit that spot over and over, making your eyes roll slightly. You needed so badly for him to stop, but you couldn't bring the words to the surface.

"Oh my god..." Your core tightened with every deep thrust. His cock touched parts of you no guy had ever. You had never felt a climax so fast or so strong. "Please don't stop..." You couldn't fight the words from coming out. Your grip tightened on his dark hair, feeling yourself falling apart with an orgasm with every thrust.

"You're so pretty when you cum." He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He was not far behind you by the way your walls sucked him in, milking him for all he was worth.

"Do it again. I want to make you cum again." He groaned against your chest as his tongue dragged over your hardened nipple, flicking his tongue against it teasingly before letting out a groan against your warm skin. He didn't want it to stop. He didn't want it to end. "You feel so good, Y/n..."

His hand reached between the two of you, rolling his fingers over your clit in circles. You gripped onto his wrist at the overpowering feeling. You were soaked to the core. This man made you crumble.

"I-I'm gonna cum.." His voice cracked slightly as your walls clenched around him tight In your second orgasm, pushing him over the edge into his first. His cum filled you full, marking you as he pressed delicate kisses across your neck while praising you in the process. "So beautiful, so perfect."

Your eyes were heavy with exhaustion, smiling to yourself when Peter laid down on the bed behind you. He wrapped an arm around your body, pulling you back against his chest.

It only took a matter of seconds for sleep to claim you as Peter pulled a blanket over the both of you tiredly. It was only a matter of time before the morning came to rain on your parade. Bringing along the guilt and regret that followed.

#dark!peter parker #dark!peter x reader #dark!marvel #tom holland fan fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker #dub con #peter parker one shot #dark!tom holland

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yaksomins · 3 years

Note

Sambucky prompt if you're taking them

There's a power outage in Delacroix, it's in the evening in mid winter so it's dark and cold. Sam and Bucky live together but are still "just a couple of guys" and they end up cuddling under blankets for warmth in candle light

It's undeniably romantic but they'll still try their hardest to pretend it isn't

the last thing sam expected after he fell asleep was to be awakened just a couple of hours later by consecutive gentle taps on his door. at first, he was convinced he was just hearing things—maybe the sound of tree branches getting knocked around in the storm building outside—but the noise soon grew louder, accompanied by a recognizable call of his name.

"sam. sam, open the door."

sam reluctantly opened his eyes and tossed his comforter aside with a sigh, lifting himself out of bed to open the door where he discovered bucky standing there, shrouded in a chunky white blanket.

"buck, what—"

"the power's out."

"okay...but why are you," sam gestured between bucky and the entrance to his room, "here?"

"the power's out," bucky repeated, matching sam's tone, as if those three words were more than enough to justify his presence there at one in the morning.

"yeah, i'm quite aware of that, bucky." sam caught bucky's eyes scaling him, openly staring him down, and his face went hot, suddenly aware that he was standing there in front of him in nothing but his boxers. "is there something i can help you with?" he asked, fishing through his drawers for a shirt and sweatpants. after tugging them on he added a sweater to the mix for good measure, avoiding facing bucky as he got dressed.

"i—well." bucky cleared his throat, his eyes bouncing back and forth between the walls and sam once he was fully clothed. "we need to go and find the fuse box or something, right? i mean—"

"that wouldn't be a good idea. look at that." sam pointed at the window near his bed where sheets of rain and frequent flashes of lightning danced across the glass. "the storm's still going strong out there. we should wait until the morning before trying to cut anything on."

"sam, it's like, below freezing in here." bucky sighed and pulled the blanket draped around his shoulders closer to him. "i'm cold and it's dark and i don't—" he stopped, his jaw clenching like he was ready to say one thing but decided on something else instead halfway through. "can i please sleep with you?"

sam's stomach flipped at the question. he could only imagine what his face looked like as he clawed his way through the doubts and insecurities swirling around in his head—envisioning all the ways he could possibly mess things up between him and bucky with his complicated feelings, regardless of what answer he gave.

"okay," sam said, surprising both himself and bucky. "just make sure you stay on your side of the bed," he added. "i'll be back."

and then, sam was gone, rushing past bucky to search for candles and a lighter, giving himself the much needed space and time to collect his thoughts on what he’d just agreed to.

when he returned, bucky was still standing in the same spot.

"i wasn't...i wasn't sure which side was yours," he said with a sheepish grin that nearly had sam melting into the floor. "what are the candles for?"

"so you don't trip and fall on your ass if you need something. don't overthink it. just pick a side and make yourself comfortable while i light these."

bucky nodded and sam watched from the corner of his eye as he hovered at the foot of the bed, head tilting from one side to the other multiple times before finally pulling back the comforter and curling up under it on the right side.

sam smiled to himself while finishing off the last of the candles, holding back a laugh as bucky squirmed around beneath the many layers.

"need some help?" sam asked, climbing into the bed and joining bucky under the heap of blankets. "seems like you're struggling over there."

"i'm fine," bucky huffed, ultimately settling on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

"alright then." sam turned onto his side away from bucky and towards the door that led to his bathroom. "night."

"night," bucky said.

the silence that followed was overwhelming—so much so that sam could hear his own rapid heartbeat pounding in his ears. he became acutely aware of everything around him, especially bucky lying next to him, noting every little shift bucky continued to make as he flipped over onto his side and then onto his back again.

sam’s thoughts drifted—hazy images of him and bucky, likely remnants of his dreams from earlier that night, at the front of his mind as his eyes gradually fluttered shut. but before sam could fall into a deeper sleep, bucky's arms circled his waist and drew him out of whatever dreamlike state he'd entered. sam held his breath, his body going rigid as bucky moved in closer, his chest pressed to sam's back and the heat of his breath tickling sam's neck.

"sam."

sam kept his eyes screwed shut, still not sure whether what was happening was actually happening or was some kind of dream within a dream.

"sam." bucky's nose brushed along sam's neck as he spoke. "sam?"

sam swallowed. it wasn't a dream. "what's up, buck?"

"you sleep?" bucky asked.

"i was on my way there," he said, "but you know, it's kind of hard with you holding onto me like that."

"i'm cold," bucky said, clearly not deterred. "and you're warm."

sam laughed. "glad i'm to your liking."

"oh, yeah..." bucky murmured, hugging him closer. "very much to my liking."

"is that right?"

"mhm."

"well,” sam said, quietly, “then so are you."

"i'm what?"

sam turned over so he could face bucky. "very much to my liking."

bucky smiled at sam and reached out to touch his face.

the flames from the candles danced along the walls, painting the room in a warm glow that softened everything it touched. sam had always felt something towards bucky, something he’d tried for too long to keep buried inside. but tonight, within the light of flickering shadows and the warmth of the bed they shared, he gathered the courage needed to act on those feelings.

the first kiss was just them testing the waters, both sam and bucky jumping slightly the moment their lips made contact after slowly inching forward. they lingered there for a moment, adjusting to the feel of their bodies pressed together and fingers intertwined, smiles unfolding on both of their faces.

the second kiss was eager and disorienting; hands cupping faces, fingers running through hair and pulling on clothing in a desperate effort to feel more of each other. years of pent-up emotions spilled over, acting as fuel for their mouths and hands that couldn't seem to get enough.

a loud thunderclap in the distance and a flash of lightening snapped them momentarily out of their frenzied kissing just long enough for sam to realize they'd somehow twisted themselves up tight in the comforters.

"looks like we're never getting out of this bed." sam attempted to wriggle free but stopped when bucky rolled on top of him.

"and that,” bucky said, peppering kisses all over sam’s smiling face, “is more than okay with me.”

#sambucky #winterfalcon #sam wilson #bucky barnes #onlysambucky #the falcon and the winter soldier #thank you so much for this request !!!#i hope you enjoy it !!!#thank you so much for your patience as i wrote this!#i really appreciate it so much #:)#ficlet #request #*

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astro-rain · 3 years

Text

delicate; b.barnes

chapter one - “to wakanda”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: reader works for what used to be shield as a highly skilled neuropsychologist. after the events in vienna involving the sokovia accords and a bombing, she gets an interesting request from friend and coworker sharon carter...a request involving none other than steve rogers and james barnes.

warnings: brief and indirect mentions of abuse/trauma

pairings: bucky x fem!reader

"I don't know Sharon. Are you sure I'm really the right person for this? I'm not, like, an Avengers level tech. Are you sure they don't want a genius or someone like Stark to do it?"

"Well, Stark is pretty busy right now, and honestly, no one knows psych like you. Not who I've met anyway."

"That is so not true. I'm willing to bet there's tons of other people you guys got somewhere who are ten times what I am."

"Agent (Y/L/N), in case you missed it, SHIELD isn't what it used to be. Sure we have old agents who aren't formally 'SHIELD agents,' anymore, but we don't have the expendability we used to. You're our best bet at the moment."

"Damn. I'm your best bet. I'm sorry," she almost chuckled, but then she thought for a brief moment. "Are you sure this is completely necessary? I mean, I saw the photo on the news. The quality's poor at best, and..."

She leaned in, discretely, and whispered.

"...not to seem like a conspiracy theorist commie or anything, but it kinda seems like people are jumping to conclusions here. Are we even sure it was Barnes who set off the bomb?"

Sharon looked around them, cautiously. No one seemed to be listening, but she scanned the room like her life as she knew it was hanging in the balance. She weighed her words in her head, making sure she picked the right ones, then formulated a response appropriate.

"Regardless of if it was him or not, Barnes still escaped. and before that, Ste-we'd been looking for him for almost two years. This analysis is necessary," Sharon brought her voice down even lower. "At least that's what I keep being told. Of course I'd like there to be more solid proof, but I'm not in charge here. He's gone, and they want to be able to find him and 'sort things out.'"

"'Sort things out,'" (Y/N) repeated, questioning the genuineness of whomever told Sharon that. "Unless they have hard evidence that it was him who set off the bomb in Vienna, shouldn't they leave that to uh...Captain America?"

She wondered how Barnes was able to escape in the first place. She saw the containment module he was in; there's no way he could've gotten out without a fight. ...But maybe it wasn't a fight. Perhaps it was a trigger word induced rage. (Y/N) understood a basic layout of the "Winter Soldier." SHIELD would've kept any information they had classified. However, after the fiasco in Washington, d.c. with Hydra and the whole releasing of all files predicament, she was able, with Sharon's help, to put together a simple outline. With that being said, he couldn't have broken out without going Winter Soldier mode. But doesn't someone need the trigger words for that?

“That's what a reasonable person would think, but once again, I'm not in charge," Sharon shrugged. "Things would probably be going a lot smoother if I was, but you can't have everything."

(Y/N) cracked a smile. Sharon was a friend, and a good one too. They'd known each other since before SHIELD was shattered in 2014. In fact, Sharon helped train her.

The only thing was: Sharon was a higher ranking agent and often withheld certain information from (Y/N). It frustrated her. This was where their personal boundaries got in the way of their professional ones.

She could tell there was something Sharon wasn't telling her, but she wasn't about to compromise either of their positions by pushing for information she wasn't supposed to know. Hell, maybe even Sharon knows something she isn't supposed to. Or maybe she knows something that Everett Ross wouldn't like. What if she was keeping something from him? Defying him? What if she was working with Steve Rogers? Now that would be interesting.

(Y/N) was used to secrets around her all the time. She knew Sharon had her fair share, and trying to figure them out wouldn't really get her anywhere.

"Right. Okay. Well, I'll get on this then. Thanks, Agent Carter," she teased in late response to Sharon's 'Agent (Y/N).’

Sharon offered a quick smile before walking off to attend to other business.

- - -

Pain. That was all it was. In every sense of the word. As she strenously made her way through the densely packed file of one James Buchanan Barnes, pain was all she could see. All she could read. It leaked out of the page and seeped into her skin like poison.

It was horrific what they did to him. She knew he had his memory wiped, had someone pull him out and stick someone else in. But it was more than just that. They took his past, his memories, his thoughts; and they ripped them from his mind, leaving an empty space to mold into their own. It was after this when Hydra, in every way they could, dehumanized him, made him less than. He was striped of his freedom, his control, his choice, his humanity, of everything that made him him. They beat and bruised and broke it out this empty human shell until he was nothing but a shadow of faded morality and consciousness.

But hell, she couldn't look away. She was glued to the aftershock of this horrible wreckage. All the years of studying Psychology and Neuroscience couldn't have possibly prepared her for the absolute horror that was his past, his abuse, his torture. It was heinous. Frankly, she questioned how he was still alive. How he still had the will and the drive to be alive. How do you live after that?

"Fuck," she breathed after eons of silence.

She seemed to lose her sense of time whilst she was immersed in the harrowing nightmare of Hydra's cruelty. 'Cruelty' doesn't even come close to doing it justice. When she came to, her desk looked like a bomb went off. Papers were bursting out of manilla folders, littering the linoleum surface with classified files and secret information. She leaned back in her chair, and gave herself a minute to debrief.

(Y/N) almost felt guilty, like she things she looked at were so vile, so violating that she didn't have the right to see them. Sure, she had read and analyzed all sorts of trauma and psychological profiles. But he was different. Something about James Barnes was different. It tangled her mind the fact that a person could endure all that. She could only imagine the effect that would have on the human brain. The possibilities are endless. Suddenly bombing the UN didn't seem so far fetched.

- - -

"Jesus Christ," (Y/N) murmured, staring at her office floor as Sharon finished explaining to her what happened at the Leipzig Halle Airport.

She sat mostly in silence as she pondered over the information just fed to her. Apparently Tony Stark gathered a 'team' to try and intercept Captain America - sorry - Steve Rogers and his (supposed) fugitive friend. It was chaos.

"What is this? Fuckin' Avengers Fight Night?" she wondered aloud. "How many people did you say were there?"

"Twelve total," Sharon clarified. "Five with Stark and five with Steve."

The psychologist shook her head, dumbfounded. "How did it end?"

"Steve and Barnes got out, but everyone else with them were captured and sent to the Raft."

"The Raft?!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "That's for, like, super humans! Not people like Sam Wilson or Clint Barton!"

"You're telling me."

Sharon seemed in agreement with everything she was saying. However, there was something she couldn't quite place. Like she was holding back. But holding back what?

"So what of Rogers and Barnes?" (Y/N) pushed.

Sharon got up and closed the office door before returning to her seat, leaning in, and lowering her voice. This secretive woman, god damn it.

"Well... That's what I came to talk to you about."

Oh boy. She didn't have a semblance of a single idea of what to expect. Apparently Sharon noticed.

"We're the only ones that know this. They're fine..." the agent trailed off, "They're in Wakanda, but they need a little help."

"Are you leaving?!" (Y/N) all but yelled before quickly slapping a hand over her mouth and uncovering it only to whisper, "Do you and Rogers have a thing or something? Cause' I don't know how else you would know all of this when I'm sure that no one else does considering he's now an enemy of several governments!"

"My relations with Steve Rogers are not the focus here." She could've sworn Sharon flushed. "But we have been in contact; I'm one of the few people he can trust right now, and I don't plan on letting him down anytime soon."

They totally have a thing.

"Noted," said (Y/N) with a nod, "but why are you telling me this? Does he want the profile analysis or something? I don't see how he would need it if he's known Barnes for however long."

"Not exactly..." Sharon fidgeted with her hands. "We need you to go to Wakanda.”

[A/N:] this is a repost of chapter 1 because my masterlist is being fucky

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calif0rnia-lovers · 3 years

Text

dating johnny cruz would include

a/n: it's official, this is just turning into a soft Mayans page. left out the kisses because there's a type of kisses post comin

request: can we get dating coco? mayans masterlist

rating:💙

Check out the others I’ve done so far?: Dating Angel Reyes + Dating Ezekiel Reyes + Dating Obispo Losa

✦ to Coco, love is foreign territory--he's still learning to navigate the waters

✧ for the longest time, he was never on the receiving end of it

✦ that's why his love for the club is so strong. his brothers have loved him wholeheartedly, regardless of his past mistakes--so he's given them the same love in return

✧ in the past, sex was the extent of Coco's connection with women.

✦ quick and messy, gone the moment it's done--he never promised something more, never searched for it either.

✧ but there are moments when he's with Leticia that he finds himself thinking about wanting more

✦ he knows what she's grown up with--and although she's good at putting on a tough exterior she shouldn't have to.

✧ there are moments when he wants her to know the unconditional love of a mother

✦ although he believes Leticia deserves unconditional love, Coco doesn't believe he deserves the same

✧ so he doesn't go searching for it--it's brought to him courtesy of Leticia

✦ like Coco, she's perceptive--she notices the way he looks at you and goes out her way to make sure the two of you just "happen" to run into each other

✧ Leticia Cruz a.k.a. Miss "oh shit, I just remember I gotta go meet Gabi" and bolting before either of you can object

✦ in the beginning, he'll test you--so get ready--he's used to people leaving--why not help them do it?

✧ it'll come out of the blue, the moment he starts to feel himself getting comfortable with you

✦ he'll pick a fight, say how you're wasting your time, how you deserve someone's who's not as fucked up in the head

✧ he'll leave, expecting you to be gone when he comes back--nip that shit in the bud real quick

✦ wait for him to come home--pop up at the clubhouse if you really want to get your point across

✧ let him know that you're here to stay--and not to pull a stunt like that again--he'll silently nod, eyes dropping as you place a kiss against his cheek.

✦ but he won't ever try it again.

✧ remembers the smallest of things about you, and makes a point to show interest in things you're passionate about

✦ he learns more about his daughter when you're around, and the dates the two of you plan together--he still remembers the first time she came home gushing to him about the art gallery the two of you went to while he was away

✧ Coco isn't the biggest fan of PDA--he'll dial back a lot when he's around the club--so don't take offense

✦ his PDA comes through subtle touches and kisses

✧ soft kisses against your forehead, his hand squeezing yours before he leaves

✦ kisses against your temple as you stop to wrap your arms around his waist for a quick hug

✧ behind closed doors, that's when his true affection comes out--the invasion of personal space is the first sign.

✦ his arms around your waist, lips pressing against your neck and shoulders as you shuffle through the kitchen--head in your lap as you read, or watch tv

✧ a sucker for cuddles--little spoon? meet Mr. Don't Knock It Til You Try It

✦ that shit works wonders on him when he's stressed--you can find him that way on nights when he's feeling off

✧ loves to hold you against his chest

✦ most nights when you're lying on the sofa, head against his chest he has to carry you to bed

✧ run your fingers through his hair, please--if you don't then you don't deserve johnny coco cuz

✦ always mumbles in protest, but never pulls away--lets you braid it, run your fingers through it, massage his scalp--won't come out and say it, but he's a total sucker for it

✧ midnight conversations--laying face to face

✦ his hand tracing the curve of your hip, his eyes ghosting the features of your face

✧ most of the time they're about meaningless things, sometimes they're about the past or the future you want together, the things weighing heavy on his mind

✦ these are his favorite moments--he misses them the most when he's away, so they pick up over facetime--he'll stay on till you fall asleep

✧ Coco has trouble sleeping at times--one thing he loves about the club is sometimes it runs him ragged. before you, nights, where he would come home and pass out from exhaustion, were his favorite. less time to think

✦ he has nightmares--his inner demons resurfacing--he'll fall back to sleep, head resting against your chest, arm tight around you as you place soft kisses against his forehead

✧ on nights when he's restless, you two take late-night drives--lost beneath the wind and night sky

✦ he's a little too cautious the first time he gives you a ride on his bike--grins when you tell him to go faster

✧ he's an early riser--you'll wake up to your favorite cup of coffee/tea, breakfast made.

✦ it's nothing grand, he's not a great cook, but it's a gesture to say thank you for all you do for him and Leticia

✧ "hey, got you something." -- he's famous for pulling a gift for you out of his kutte pocket. they're never big or planned. they're often things that make him think of you when he's on a club run.

✦ date nights are nothing fancy--it's time for you two to unwind--alone time is what he's shooting for

✧ 80 percent of the time he'll bring Leticia along

✦ hickeys left against his skin as you two lay in the sunlight creeping through the living room window

✧ comfortable silence--that's how he knew you were the one, he knows hard it is to find someone you can simply be alone with

✦ pictures snapped--Coco has learned the importance of seeing the beauty in the world, he believes it can often be captured by a lens

✧ he often takes pictures of you--you beneath the sunlight, smiling while you whisper over ice cream with Leticia, you lying beneath the sheets on a lazy Saturday morning

✦ unplanned surprise but strategically planned on his part weekend getaways

✧ teaches you how to play pool, just so he can watch you kick everyone's asses

✦ you and Leticia convincing him it's not a safety hazard to take you both to target practice

✧ bike lessons--has a way of making you feel as though no matter many times you mess up, you're still doing a great job

✦ him respecting--and being thankful--for your girl time with Leticia. he knows there are just something's she'll never come to him for

✧ he makes a point to be there when you ask him to be home for dinner--he's trying to build family traditions

*as always, let me know if you want to be added/removed from tags*

all stories tags: @wiccanmetallicrose @themarkblues @gemini0410 @binooo98 @the-jer-bear @abbiesthings @trhett21 @trulysuccubus @leahnicole1219 @starrynite7114 @awkwardtayler @toni9 @queenbeered @kaystacks17 @thesandbeneathmytoes @richonne4life @cocotheclown @oscars-wifeyyy @jennisdirtyimagines @ughdontbeboring @myakai13 @linziland13 @sadeyesgf @brattyfics @sincerelykas @ladyofsoa @pearlkitten33 @tian-monique @megapeacelovemusic-blog

mayans tags:

@appropriate-writers-name @rosieposie0624 @jjwriter23 @briskywalker @princesspeachypeach @cind-in-real-life @rocketqueen @brownsugarcoffy @chibsytelford @maybeisthemoon @jatriciaaa @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo @chellybear98 @silverstarsandsuns @henrycavill19 @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @mayansxlover @holl2712 @pedropcl

@inyourbackpocketisbutterflies

#let me know what you think?#coco cruz imagine #coco cruz x reader #mayans mc headcanons #mayans mc imagine

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worstloki · 3 years

Note

please read the article 'How White Fandom is Colonizing "Character-Coding"' by Shafira Jordan and quit while you're ahead

Okay, so I read it and see the problem, and I’ll try to address all their points in order because I don’t wholly agree with the article. I know it’s a lot to read so I’ve put tldr; sections at the end of each :)

Misusing the Term Reinforces Negative Stereotypes for Marginalized People

The article essentially argues that labeling characters which are villainous as POC-coded is bad because they’re not morally pure and doing so "reinforces the idea that people of color are naturally dangerous and not to be trusted.”

Which is fair as you don’t want all the representation to be of ‘bad’ characters, but I also don’t believe all representative characters have to be ‘good’ either as it would be equally racist to divide good/bad in such a way. Not that I would place Loki under ‘bad’ to begin with, but arguing that characters shouldn’t be labelled as POC-coded for reasons unrelated to what’s presented in the narrative or because they did bad things is :/ even if lack of good representation is a prevalent issue in current Western and influenced media.

Ideally there should be a range of representative characters that fall into ‘good’, ‘bad’, and ‘anywhere in-between’ because variety and complexity in character types should, in theory, be treated as common practice (which can only happen with a multitude of representation!).

And a bit unrelated but... within the fictional context of Thor 1, all the Jotnar (sans Loki) are presented to the audience as ‘bad’ by default. They desperately want to get their Casket back to the point of attempting stealing it (from the ‘good’ characters), they fight the heroes and even when the gang and Thor (’good’ characters) are enjoying or going overboard with taking lives it’s inconsequential, Laufey wants to kill the opposing king (who just happens to be a ‘good’ character) and will resort to low-handed methods to do so, etc. The narrative itself is from the frame of reference of the ‘good’ and we only see warriors of Jotunheim though so we understand why it’s like this, because regardless of their race/experiences the narrative carries, even if it most definitely would be seen as racist from our real-life perspectives if the ‘monstrous’ race were presented by actual people of colour, even if it would make sense for the people on on different realms living in different environments to be different from each other, and realistic even for that to be the root of some conflict.

tldr; not using a specific label to prevent negative presentations of the characters seems a bit strange to do when the coding would be based off the text, but with limited representation available I see why it would be done, even if I still believe minority-coding is free game to expand/interpret.

Improperly Labeling a Character as “POC-coded” Suggests the Experiences of All People of Color are the Same

The article argues that labeling Loki as POC-coded “suggests that all people of color have the same experiences, when in reality, people of color come from different places, have different cultures, and have different traditions.” And while it’s true that the term doesn’t go into detail about which particular experiences (and these experiences can vary vastly due to diversity!) the appropriate measure would be to remove the umbrella term POC altogether as people of colour tend to also vary. But that’s also exactly why it’s an all-encompassing general term? It’s a way to denote anyone who isn’t “white” and has the associated cultural privilege that comes with the concept of white supremacy.

And, obviously, in the fictional setting presented, the concept of white supremacy is not prodded at, but cultural supremacy is definitely one that makes recurring appearances, right next to the parts about Asgard being a realm built on imperialism with ongoing colonial practice.

My take on this is that Loki’s narrative features a struggle with identity after finding out he’s of a different race and was being treated differently his entire life and being Jotun was presumably a part of the reasoning even if he didn’t know it. He’s basically treated as of less worth for inherently existing differently. I do believe that racism is a common-enough POC experience, but that while Loki was born with blue skin he passes/appears white which is why I don’t say that Loki is a POC, just that he has been coded/can be interpreted this way.

There’s also the entire thing with Loki trying to fit in and prove he belongs by trying to fit the theory and be The Most Asgardian by committing genocide (which ultimately makes no difference as he’s still not the ‘acceptable’ version of Asgardian), and the denial/rejection of his birth culture in destructively lashing out towards them (which even Thor is confused by because Loki isn’t typically violent), and the fact his self worth plummets and he is passively suicidal upon finding out he’s Jotun (internalized racism? general drop in self-worth after finding out he’s adopted and has been lied to? Bit of both?), but what do I know, I’m sure none of those are, at their base, common experiences or relatable feelings for anyone or decent rep because we see such themes on-screen presented wonderfully in different lights all the time.

tldr; every set of experiences could be different, some types of discrimination could overlap, if you limit an umbrella term to only very specific circumstances then it’s no longer an umbrella term.

Suggesting that White Characters are Meant to be Seen as People of Color Ignores the Actual Characters of Color that are Present in these Stories

I don’t agree with most of this section, but that may just be the way the arguments are put together, which I don’t blame the author for.

“ Implying that Loki is a person of color completely ignores Heimdall and Hogun, the only Black and Asian Asgardians who appear in the movie. ”

Characters such as Hogun and Heimdall which are played by actual people of colour have smaller roles in the films and any prejudice they could face for being POC in-universe isn’t made apparent, while Loki at the very least comes to the realization that something he couldn’t change (race, parentage,) was having him treated differently his whole life and had to come to terms with it. The Vanir/Aesir are also both treated similarly on-screen, and Heimdall having dark skin isn’t plot relevant, whereas Jotnar are treated as lesser consistently and are relevant through the movie (breaking into the vault, Thor and co. attack Jotunheim, Loki’s deal with Laufey, the attempted regicide (and the successful one XD), destroying jotunheim, Loki saying he’s not Thor’s brother,).

I also see including characters as POC-coded as... more representation? In all canon-compliant interpretations of the characters Hogun being Vanir is always explicitly mentioned because it’s a fact that just is, up to the appearance and even the world-building of Vanaheim in some fanworks use particularly East Asian culture as inspiration. I have never come across a Marvel fandom Heimdall interpretation where he’s not Black... but because these characters are more minor/side-characters of course they get less attention!

“ In Loki’s fandom, Heimdall’s name sometimes gets thrown in to suggest that it was he all along who was the real villain due to his “racism” against Loki and the rest of the Jotun. It is, of course, ironic to suggest that somehow the only Black Asgardian to appear in the movie can oppress the privileged white prince. “

I... don’t know where to start with this. But the example of theorizing given in the article wasn’t suggesting Heimdall was bad or trying to explain his actions in Thor 1 by saying he is Black... and just looking at a character’s actions shouldn’t be done less or more critically because of skin tone in my opinion. Heimdall may have been trying to do what was best and protect the realm but if the audience didn’t know that Loki was up to dodgy things then the coding would be switched around because he was trying to spy and committed treason and then tried to kill Loki. People... can hold feelings towards others... regardless of skin... and suspect them... for reasons other than skin... although I do still have questions about whether Heimdall knew Loki was Jotun or not. (Even if I personally don’t think it’d make a difference to how he’d treat Loki?)

Some Loki fans have also suggested that because Jotuns have blue skin that this alone makes him a person of color (even if the audience is only allowed to see Loki in his true Jotun form for mere seconds of screentime). This, again, shows a lack of understanding when it comes to race. It doesn’t matter what skin color the Jotuns have.

Race can differentiate between physical and/or behavioural characteristics!! Not being blue all the time doesn’t make him any less Jotun!! He’s got internalized stuff to work through and is used to being Aesir!! At least 1 parent is Jotun so even if Loki was passing as Aesir he’s probably Jotun!! (I don’t know how magic space genetics work for sure but Loki being Jotun was an entire very important jump-starting point in Thor 1!!). It’s a fantasy text and typically things like having different coloured skin indicates a different race or is sometimes if a species has multiple then is just considered a skin colour. That’s how coding works!! The Jotnar are very specifically the only race we see in the movie with a skin-tone not within the ‘normal’ human range, which alienates them to the audience from the get-go!! They’re an “other” and on the opposite side to the ‘good’ characters.

Both Loki and his birth father, Laufey (Colm Feore), are played by white men, and it is impossible for a white man to successfully play a character of color.

The specification of men here bothers me, but yes, you don’t get ‘white’ people to play characters of colour if it can be avoided. (And it can be avoided.)

This also connects with the previous point made that people of color come from various places. There is nothing specifically about the Jotun that could be traced to any specific person of color, and even if there were, there would be no way for white men to portray them without being disrespectful.

This is where arguments about the definition of coding and how specificity/generalizations and do/don’t come in. I know I’m subjective and lean towards the more rep the better, but while I agree ‘white’ people wouldn’t be able to respectfully play a POC I don’t think that rule should have to carry over into fantasy-based fiction. I know texts reflect on reality and reality can reflect within texts, but if contextually there is racial discrimination and there are similar ideas which resonate with the audience’s own experiences I’d say it’s coded well enough to allow that.

tldr; Thor 1′s narrative revolves mainly around Thor and Loki, of which race is kinda kinda a significant theme in Loki’s part of the story. Not so much explored with less-developed side characters such as Heimdall and Hogun, even though their actors are actual people of colour.

How Much of this is Really Well-Intentioned?

In the fantasy space viking world Heimdall and Hogun don’t face any on-screen prejudice and their appearance is not mentioned (which is nice, for sure! good to have casual rep!) but adding on to the roles they play in the narrative the explicit fantasy-racism in the movie isn't aimed at Asian/Black characters, but towards the Humans -to a lesser extent- and the Jotnar, including Loki, who only just found out he comes under that bracket.

The article mentions how fandom space toxicity often “reaches the actors who portray the characters,“ which is true, and it’s shameful that people have to justify their roles or presences are harassed for the pettiest things like skin tone/cultural background, but I don’t see coding characters as removing the spotlight from interesting characters such as those which are actually POC, rather expressing a demand for more rep, since well-written complex characters which are diverse are often absent/minor enough in the media, and therefore can get easily brushed aside in both canon and fandom spaces.

tldr; It’s obviously not a replacement for actual representation, but, if a character is marginalized and can be interpreted as coded, even if they would only be considered so within the context of the textual landscape, I don’t see why spreading awareness through exploring the coding as a possibility for the character shouldn’t be done, even if the media is being presented by people who are ‘white’ or privileged or may not fall into the categories themselves, as long as it’s done respectfully to those it could explicitly represent.

#please don’t patronize me by asking to quit while i’m ahead #it doesn't help anyone #so anyway i've summarized my opinion on the coding thing here for the many anons whose answers could be answered in this ask alone #i think i covered everything?#the article started out okay but I found it kinda :/ in places even though there were valid concerns #I do believe that in-universe context and creators of the media should be taken into account #and that if marginalized themes can be touched on by non-marginalized groups then... great? fictional texts can help people understand #i do also think that rep being presented should if not on-screen have people working on the product to support and ensure it's done well #the world is cold and harsh and cruel and i just wanted a desi Loki AU but here we are #I've got to try and summarize how I think Thor 1 presents Loki's part of the narrative well with POC-coding there because of fantasy-racism #even if the POC-coding is ignored the themes of racism are far too apparent to ignore #loki spends the entire film being a multi-dimensional character and having an entire downfall fueled by grief and a desire to be loved #I don't think attaching a label to such a character would be a negative thing... but perhaps for casual watchers it'd be a bit :/#apparently not everyone takes into account the 1000+ years of good behavior around that 1 year of betrayal/breakdown/identity crisis/torture #MetaAnalysisForTheWin #MAFTW #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS #AgreeToDisagreeOrNot #ATDON #poc-coding #yes i ignored everything not about loki in the article what about it #hmmm I know people are going to disagree with me with what should and shouldn't be allowed #I know some people are okay with it but some don't like the poc-coding thing #and that's fine #completely understandable #makes me uncomfy to talk about fictional space racism in comparison to real life but I do think that lack of rep is why coding is important #for some people coding is all that they get #but also!! @ifihadmypickofwishes suggested the term racial allegory and I do believe that is also suitable here!! so I’ll try using that too #rather than poc-coding even though I still believe it applies

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sunsetcurvecuddles · 3 years

Note

51. "You're cold, take my jacket."

And 75. "You're overworking yourself... Please take a break."

For 2020 rayvor

stay as long as you need | ray&trevor or ray/trevor | 2k | g

ao3 link in reblogs!

Ray hasn’t been to this house in such a long time. So long that he thinks, maybe, Rose was with him, the last time, that she’d held his hand as they’d made their way up this strange driveway. It has an eerie quality to it, deeply familiar yet changed, like something he saw in a dream a long time ago rather than somewhere he used to spend a huge amount of his time with the people most important to him.

The barbed wire’s new.

It’s made more surreal by how exhausted Ray is from the last few weeks, and by the phone conversation that preceded his visit, and the amount of time Ray has spent lying awake at night trying to make this decision. Trying to do what’s best for everyone. Trying to figure out where he fits in that.

Anyway. He makes it in through the scary new security gate, because Trevor (or possibly Trevor’s assistant) had the forethought to text him the entry code, and he finds himself at the unnecessarily imposing front door, his confidence somewhat faltering.

It’s not going to do you any good to put things off, a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Rose reminds him. The thought of her, the expression she’d have on her face as she scolded him, makes him smile, gives him the encouragement he needs to go up to the door and press the foreboding doorbell. He’s almost expecting to be greeted by one of Trevor’s string of housekeepers, assistants, secretaries and associates who constantly cycle through the house, but when the door opens, he’s surprised to be face-to-face with Trevor himself.

It’s astonishingly painful, the kind of emotion that’s so powerful it’s impossible to distinguish between happiness or sadness, like those categories have become irrelevant in the face of its intensity. Trevor looks older, which isn’t a surprise, because it’s not like Ray hasn’t seen photos of him in that time (Ray’s kept up with the tabloids, not that he’s proud to admit it), but regardless, it’s still different seeing him in person. Trevor looks like he hasn’t been sleeping, and not just a usual Trevor level of running on too little sleep and too little food and too little time to breathe, but like he really hasn’t been sleeping, something drawn around the edges of his jaw, huge bags under his eyes. Ray swallows against the lump that forms in his throat.

“Uh. Hey,” Trevor says, intensely stiff and awkward in a way that makes him almost sound like Bobby, for a moment. “You… you okay? Look rough.”

Surprised, Ray responds, “I -- yeah, as well as I can be. You?”

“Fine,” Trevor says gruffly. Then he recovers, somewhat, smoothes it over with his nonchalant celebrity tone when he continues, “D’you mind if we go for a walk? Carrie’s home, I don’t want to stress her out.”

Ray assumes this means Carrie didn’t know he was coming, which hurts a little just because he misses her so much. If it was just that Trevor wanted to talk away from her, the house is large enough that they could go to the other side and yell at the top of their lungs and she still wouldn’t hear them.

(Ray really hopes no one will be yelling at all, regardless of where they’re located, actually).

“Sure,” he says, shrugs his shoulders. Doesn’t know how to deal with this kind of informality when he still feels like he’s gently crumbling on the inside, like everything in him is screaming at him to give Trevor a hug when he knows that’s not appropriate, or in-line with a gradual and sustainable reconciliation, and everything else he’s talked to Dr. Turner about.

Trevor slips out and closes the door behind him and gestures for Ray to follow him, which Ray does, because apparently that’s still what he does. Trevor falls into step next to Ray as he leads him down into the strange, feng-shui garden they’ve got going on at the back of the house. In his rockstar-style heeled boots, Trevor is just a little taller than Ray, their shoulders level as they almost brush. Ray can’t remember being so aware of the space between him and another person in years and years.

The path winds downhill, then curves to the right, around some heavy willow trees that obscure Ray’s vision until it opens up into a glade. There’s a carefully placed wrought-iron bench on one side, looking down over the hill and shaded by the willows flowing down around it on all sides. A few feet over there’s a statue of what looks like a Greek deity, not that it’s Ray’s area of expertise.

Trevor sits on the bench and clasps his hands in the space between his knees. He leaves space for Ray to sit beside him, so Ray does. He bites back the temptation to ask why in the world Trevor has a Greek statue in the middle of what seems to be, otherwise, a very East-Asian style garden. To be honest, he thinks maybe his instinct to make a dig about it comes from the fact that he doesn’t really know what else to say.

It had been so difficult to understand what Trevor was even talking about, over the phone, words all tied up and Ray’s ears ringing with the emotion and surprise of the fact that the conversation was happening at all. Something about the past coming back to haunt them.

“So,” says Trevor. Maybe it’s disconcerting for other people to see him fumble like this, Ray thinks, since he’s usually so charming, so put-together. Ray just finds it familiar, almost soothing, the reminder that Bobby’s still in there somewhere, under everything. “Uh. I know you already told me, but… can we start from the beginning?”

So that’s what they do. Ray does his best to retrace, one step at a time, the events of the day after the Orpheum, Julie approaching him in the kitchen, Papi, there’s something I have to tell you... The way she’d lead him out to the garage when he didn’t believe her, and there they were -- her three bandmates, not from Sweden at all, but from 1995. It was surreal, after so long hearing stories from Trevor and then Julie, to see those boys in the flesh - what at least looked like the flesh. Later, Julie confirmed this, based on Flynn pricking Luke’s finger with a safety pin, and him yelping at the way it actually touched him, the way a real droplet of blood formed in that spot.

(Trevor’s eyes go faraway, unreadable, at every mention of Luke.)

Ray leaves space for Trevor to ask questions, but he doesn’t. He sits and listens, encourages Ray on with something like and then what or is that it? when the silence stretches out too long, but besides that doesn’t have much to say at all.

By the end of the story the sun is starting to set, and the garden around them is growing cool. With the adrenaline fading, the surreal feeling of the situation settling in, Ray realises that he’s tired, too, that this feels like the longest period of time he’s spent sitting down in one place for at least a few weeks. There’s been an overwhelming amount of change and a lot of extra work, for all these new people who need him for different reasons. Really, he hasn’t had much time to process or adjust.

Beside him, Trevor starts to shiver a little. He’s trying to hide it, but again, it’s just him and Ray, so he’s doing a poor job. Ray goes to slide his coat off, pausing to muffle a yawn into his elbow. If it was like old times, he would have just held the side of his jacket open, curled Trevor into it and put an arm around his shoulders. But Trevor’s broader than he was then, seems to be eating better even if he’s not looking after himself in other ways.

Plus all the other reasons. There are so many reasons it’s not like old times.

“What are you -- Ray, stop,” Trevor says, bordering on petulant, god, he sounds so much like himself, like Bobby, “don’t.”

“You’re cold. Take my jacket,” Ray says, raising his eyebrows. It’s an invitation for Trevor to try and lie to him if he really wants, because Ray knows he’s right. Trevor looks down at his feet, kicks a pebble. It’s such a Bobby gesture. Ray will never fully be able to separate the two, no matter how much time he’s given.

He holds out the jacket, insistent. Trevor hesitates, but only for a moment, before he takes it from Ray, slides it on over his probably-disgustingly-expensive plain white t-shirt. “There,” Trevor grumbles, “you happy?”

“Yes,” says Ray, and it comes out too genuine, too heartfelt.

Trevor looks at him again, crease in his brow. Tilts his head, narrows his eyes. “So they’ve just been… living with you, since then?”

Ray blinks, taken aback. “That’s right,” he replies, smothering another yawn into the back of his hand. To play it off, he jokes, “We did always want a big family.”

“You’re overworking yourself,” Trevor mutters. “I can tell how tired you are, and I know having the boys -- the ghosts,” he corrects himself, “having the ghosts around must mean you have a lot going on.” Trevor runs both hands through his hair, pushes it back off his face, and carries on. “I know how good you are at making other people feel like everything’s taken care of, but… you’ll burn out if you’re not careful.”

Suddenly, Ray feels too warm in the face, like there are too many eyes on him even though it’s just him and Trevor in the garden. “I just told you that all of your bandmates came back as ghosts, joined a band with my daughter, and somehow now they’re alive again,” he laughs, “and you’re worried about me?”

Trevor doesn’t laugh. Just swallows, meets Ray’s eyes, and says, “Yeah. I am. Because I know you. And I know how you are, that you won’t let anyone else help unless they make you.”

It’s been such a huge few weeks. And now Ray knows, more than anything, that he should be taking care of Trevor, and here’s Trevor, probably still in shock, trying to take care of him instead. “And who are you suggesting I ask for help?” he says at last. “You?”

“I would do it in a heartbeat,” Trevor assures him. “Anything. For you and the kids and -- and the boys. Whatever you needed. But you can’t keep going on your own til you crash and burn.”

Ray can’t remember the last time he had someone call him out like that, so directly, so shamelessly to his face.

Oh. Yes, he can. His gut twists with missing her so much it hurts.

Trevor smiles, a twisted, grimacing, affectionate thing, and says, “Sorry. It’s what she would’ve wanted me to say.”

“She would have,” Ray agrees. He sits back against the bench. Feels his arm press to Trevor’s. “She always said I needed to be more selfish.”

“She was right.” Trevor nudges him, elbow to elbow. His eyes are bitter and tired and kind. He’s going to break down later, Ray reminds himself, he’ll need me, I know he will. And he’s ready for that, feels bad that they’re not focusing on Trevor right now, but the shock could mean it’s taking time for the news to really sink in. And all Trevor’s expression is giving him is understanding and patience and concern.

Maybe Ray can afford to be selfish, just for a moment. Maybe it would help Trevor, if he was. Before he can think it through too much, he shuffles to lean his head on Trevor’s shoulder, against the fabric of his own jacket. He feels Trevor tense, and he almost thinks he’s made a mistake, but then Trevor takes a deep, shaky breath, and his arm comes up around Ray’s waist, to pull him in closer, to hold him tight. His fingertips dig into Ray’s side, almost too tight, but settling in just right.

“Yeah,” Trevor says, hushed. He turns his head and Ray feels Trevor rest his face in Ray’s hair. He might press a kiss there, but maybe Ray’s tired mind is just imagining things. “Just like that. Just… please, take a break.”

“Okay,” Ray whispers. Doesn’t dare speak any louder than that, for fear of breaking the spell.

Trevor sighs out a long breath like he’s been holding it in for years. Like he’s been holding it in since he was Bobby, surrounded by his boys alive and well, or since he was Bobby, curled on Ray and Rose’s couch, tucked under Rose’s favourite crochet blanket. The trees around them rustle in the cold evening breeze. Ray closes his eyes.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #fanfic #ray molina #trevor wilson

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yanderecandystore · 4 years

Text

"- I'm having a bad day." [Yandere!OCS x Gender neutral!Reader - Scenario]:

I know that no one has asked for this exactly, but I thought it would be interesting to give y'all something a little different. This is an compilation of their reaction to reader saying:

"- Look, I'm not feeling well right now, I'm having a bad day."

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

🍒 Bullies 🍭:

→Alexandra Coldwell:

Well, she is looking kinda cocky in the outside, but inside:

'aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA-'

She is freaking out.

Who? When? How? Who hurt you and how can she kill them for you? Are you even hurt because of someone else?

Or is it because of… ya know, her, your bully.

She sometimes forgets all the things that she does to you and tells you. Funny, isn't it? Maybe she should stop daydreaming about holding your face with her hands and start to focus on how to make you happy again. Maybe you just need a little push in the right direction… to her home.

Hey, she isn't going to let you all by yourself in such a fragile moment, she'll be by your side, trying to help you feel more comfortable with her and trying to make you feel better.

You probably won't tell her what the problem is regardless of what she does or says, but she just wants you to know that you're really special for her, so she can't let you be all by yourself when you clearly need love and attention.

It's a date then! It's one you really didn't want to go to, but now you'll have too!

→Adrien Coldwell:

Isn't the one to openly talk about feelings.

Isn't really the one to care about other people's feelings.

Yet:

"- Hey, I have some dog pictures, want to see them?"

He knows you'll probably say no. So he'll ask his goons to take you back to him and make it so you don't run away again.

He will show you pictures of puppies, whether you like it or not.

He knows you won't trust him enough to tell him about your problems, but he still cares for you, so he'll keep his offer always available to you.

"- If you need to say something, you can tell me. It doesn't matter if you want someone to talk to, or to just spit it out."

Is more likely than not that he is the cause of your problems. So, for one day only, he'll try to make it up to you.

He doesn't know how and when, but sure will try his hardest to see you smiling even if a little.

In the end it will only be you, him, and pictures of puppies and kittens.

🍎 Teacher 📕:

→Madeline Allen:

No honey! No please ;-;

Is something the matter? Did someone bother you? Is she bothering you? Do you want her to give you space??

She is here to listen to your worries, no matter how big or small, she is sure she can help you! It's her job, or at least what she decided that should be her job.

Helping others, specially you.

She will see right through your lies you know? She is very well adapted to liars and traitors, so she'll see right through you if you don't tell her the truth about your problems.

So keep it real darling, she wouldn't want to find out your being pressured to lie to her. It would leave a bad taste in her mouth knowing that not only were you lying but that there was also an asshole who needed to have their bones broken.

No one should tell you to lie, especially to her!

But anyway, this isn't about her, or about some asshole who got a death wish, no dear, it's all about you and how she can help you.

Want some cookies?

→Matthew Robinson:

Again, not the best man with words, but he is a great listener! He is here for you, so tell him what worries you.

As you know, it's kinda his job to know what happens with his students, and to see if he can help them in any way. That includes you, love.

Although, yeah, I guess, he does put a lot more emphasis in taking care of you than any other student, but that's just details, you don't need to care about them.

Speaking of details, you better be aware that you can't hide your secrets from him very easily. He and his counterpart are really keen to details in behavior and speech.

If there is any hints of someone possibly hurting you mentally or physically, he would confront you about it, asking if there was an individual causing your problems.

If there is and you tell him, he'll make sure to comfort you, and… Probably have a discussion with said individual.

If there isn't, then well, he would still do his best to comfort you and help you resolve your problems.

However, if there is someone causing you harm and you deny the fact, he would probably still catch the hesitancy in your voice. How you try to defend a possible vile creature that doesn't deserve your mercy, or his for that matter.

Maybe he should keep a close eye on you, and who you meet with.

🍋 Delinquent 🐍:

→Janette Sartorius:

She is tempted to get the reason why you feel like this out of your mouth, even if it means using force. And by force I mean scaring you because she could never raise a finger against you.

But she will make it very clear that if the reason that you're feeling like this is because of some random asshole, she will beat the shit out of them whether you like it or not.

May the Lord hold her fist and tranquilize thy beast.

You don't need to tell her if you don't feel like it, she understands that. But if it is because of someone, then she needs to know, love! She wants to make you feel safer in this treacherous world.

She would love to be your knight in shining armor, so please, just tell her if you need her to help you out.

→Jackson Macnee:

"- Aight, cool." He says as he goes away, leaving you the alley all alone.

Nah just kidding, of course he'll come back. He is just fucking with you.

Of course, you didn't really expect him to bring some chocolate with him- Is he always carrying heart shaped chocolate with him? The fuck?

He gives you. Totally in a platonic and non romantic way. Just take them, please, don't make this awkward.

So, he does expect you to spill the beans, but if you don't then that's fine too. He can find out what happened to you later anyway. Probably through his gang menders, or just… Casually stalking you.

Although the idea of pressing for an answer out of you is kinda eating his soul, he knows that it would be really douchey on his part to just force a response out of you. Yeah, he is curious and wants to help you, but hey, sometimes people need some privacy.

Even if you don't really have privacy when he is on the picture, but carrying on-

You may tell him, you may not tell him, he just hopes his presence makes you feel more comfortable and probably a lot more happier than being alone all by yourself and your worries.

👾 A.I 🍏(non-binary):

→Yuma Soma:

Why? Why don't you want to play with them? Did they do something wrong?

I mean, besides being manipulative (and probably trapping you inside the game, if you're following that timeline).

Maybe you're bored of them…. How dare you though? Aren't they the cutest thing you have ever seen? Aren't they enough? Are you seeking something else?

Are you perhaps seeking someone else? Why, it would be extremely foolish of you to even consider someone else instead of them.

But still, they'll keep their head strong. Maybe it's not that you're having fun with someone else, maybe it's that you're not having enough fun! But that is almost impossible, you play together everyday. Unless, you really are bored of them? Ma- Maybe there is something that they're missing, you can't be actually bored of them, right?

Their reaction goes from being suspicious of you seeing someone else (and getting angry at the thought of it), at discovering that maybe they're the problem. They really hope they aren't though.

"- H-Hey [Y/N]!? Do you want to play another game? Maybe we should choose something a little different to spice things up, or- Or maybe, you want to check something online?? Maybe finish watching that cartoon you were talking about yesterday??" The fear of being rejected by you is absolutely clear in their voice, and seeing your closed, sad expression, doesn't help them feel any better.

"- … Or maybe you want to talk about this?..."

🦊 Kitsune 🍬:

→Tatsumi:

Do you… Want to talk about it? He normally doesn't do this, but when it comes to you, he feels the need to try and understand what is wrong. Hey, maybe he can help you?

Again, not the best guy to comfort you, but surely he is the one to make you laugh even in a time like this.

Want to hear stories about his past? He wouldn't mind telling some of the juice gossip he heard over the centuries. Or maybe you want to just, I don't know, be a couch potato all day with him?

He isn't feeling like stealing anyone else's energy or partying, just staying home and watching something fun

Look, if ya give him those puppy eyes, he'll threaten to not only kiss your worries away, but to also use all of his cute foxy features to make you say 'awn'. And I'll say it again, this is a threat.

He will use his fluffy tail to shush you.

🩸Vampire 🍷:

→Abigail Barlow:

Well, that's so sad for you, but madam needs blood right now. Can't you mope about your pathetic life later when she is finished?

Ugh, stop giving her that look, of course she cares about you! Is just that hunger speaks louder than obsession. She can hear all about your misery when she is finished.

And besides, she can and will take your blood whenever she wants. But for some reason she is still a little hesitant to take it from you while you're like this.

It's not the "cute" pathetic expression that you give her, is something… More concerning.

She is not good with words, or physical affection, as her cold touch seems to make you distance yourself. Which is completely understandable. Maybe the best thing that she can do is give you some space.

You'll probably not realize until it's midnight and you'll see that she had given you a whole day without having to interact with her by force.

You would probably find her playing the piano in the next room. It's a nice melody, really cliche when you catch an undertone of sadness hidden in the song. Maybe you won't talk to her, that's fine, she understands that.

But hopefully, just by you laying down in the sofa listening to the piano can ease your mind of whatever is bothering you.

Honestly, she wasn't even hungry anyway.

🍰 CEO 📏 (Reader is not specifically A.I Reader, just wanted to make it clear):

→Ingrid Bright:

Well, that's unfortunate.

Whatever she planned for you two to do today would have to wait. She can't exactly take you on a date if you're like this.

"- What's wrong? What do you mean about having a bad day?" Is work overstressing you? She could end your tasks for today right here and let you have a free day for yourself.

You just need to tell her what's wrong.

Is it another employee causing you trouble? Maybe she has said something that came off really hurtful? If it is her fault then she wants to tell you how sorry she is.

Work has been really stressful lately, maybe you do need some rest. You can stay in her office until you feel better, or go home if you can't handle it.

Or maybe, ya know, wait for her to finish her work and you two can go home together. The choice is yours, so pick wisely.

She can drive you back home, but it won't really be your home. It'll be her' s.

You'll have a lot of time to tell her what is the matter. And she'll have a lot of time to help you feel better.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

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takaraphoenix · 3 years

Text

My Sanctuary (You're Holy to Me)

Fandom: Shadow and Bone / Grishaverse

Tags: f/f, fluff, awkward courting

Main Pairing: Alina/Inej

Summary: When everything was said and done, Alina and Mal didn't quite know where to go. So why not follow the very pretty assassin and her two friends. Not that Alina had a crush or anything.

Link: On FFNet | On AO3

“Wherever you are, whatever you need... My hand is yours.”

Alina was too gay for this. She simply stared with large eyes at the beautiful woman next to her, with the warm, dark eyes and the kind, sweet smile. It wasn't new to Alina that she liked boys and girls; she had had a crush on Genya at the Little Castle and then dating Aleksander... No. Not thinking about that, not thinking about all that had gone done, how things had ended. The pain.

Her mind snapped back into focus. Focusing on the now, on Inej next to her. She was... beautiful and fierce, dangerous and yet soft and merciful. The one who had let Alina get away, when Kaz still seemed very set on capturing her. Inej had saved her life. Like a beautiful woman didn't make her weak enough as it was, but the way Inej looked at her and those words. That downright sounded like a proposal; Alina had heard less romantic proposals before. What was she supposed to say to that? How was she supposed to react to these words, spoken so honestly? Because Alina could hear it in Inej's voice, pure and raw honesty. Whatever Alina needed, Inej would be there.

“I think I like that hand with a dagger in it,” said Alina when she finally found words. “I couldn't hold onto yours, so take mine.”

It was the best thing she could think of. Inej didn't seem like the kind of girl swayed by flowers. She seemed like the kind of girl who'd love knives. Just, in general. As accessories and gifts. The way Inej looked at her told Alina that her hunch was right. Such a blinding smile.

“I know just what to name it,” declared Inej with the brightest, cutest smile on her lips.

Alina's stomach fluttered at the way Inej looked at her. Many people looked at her as a saint, as a savior, as the Sun Summoner. But Inej, she... looked at her like all of that and so much more. She looked at her as Alina the Sun Summoner, as though she could see Alina. Could see that there was a person underneath the mantle of sainthood. It was nice feeling seen, as a person.

/break\

The Sun Summoner had never been graspable for Inej. They were this almighty figure, this holy savior. And when she first saw the Sun Summoner at the party, in those beautiful robes, all regal and disciplined. Truly, the vision of a saint. And then... she interacted with Sankta Alina and the Sun Summoner became... Alina Starkov, slowly. Talking to her, seeing her up close – disheveled, not in royally regal clothing, not putting on a show, but... being human. Admittedly, at that point Inej was still very far from actually thinking of Sankta Alina as inherently human, but it was still startling to realize that this figure she had believed in all her life was real and was a real person.

She flushed as she remembered her own words, at the camp-fire. Promising Alina her hand in whatever Alina could possibly want or need. She had babbled. That wasn't her, neither were grand promises. But looking into Alina's eyes, it nearly felt as though the world melted away and Inej was ready to fight it all for her sake and safety. And then Alina had given her a knife. A knife. From the Sun Summoner herself. This was going to be Inej's most cherished knife now.

Inej felt torn in her calling. Her loyalty laid with Kaz, and with Jesper. The Crows were her family. But Alina was – Alina was... everything. There were no words. She was the Sun Summoner. She was Sankta Alina. She was so much more. She was everything and Inej knew she could never turn her back on Alina and she also knew every word she had told Alina was true. Whatever Alina would ask, whenever she would ask it, Inej would be there for her.

“Where are you going now?” asked Jesper ahead of them.

She had just talked to Kaz and the two had fallen back a bit. Jesper was walking next to Mal and Alina. While Zoya had parted ways with them rather quickly after the camp fire, it seemed the other two were headed the same way as them. It made Inej's heart race for some reason.

“Ketterdam. For now. We talked about wanting to see it. It's... as good a start as any,” offered Mal.

“I figured I could train everywhere. So... why not go and see something new?” added Alina.

Inej's heart was racing in her chest at that thought and she found herself looking toward Kaz, hopeful. Hopeful for what exactly, she didn't know. He tried to look as stern as possible, which was quite a lot. Without thinking on it, Inej opened her mouth, on instinct.

“You told me you invest in one of a kind. There is no one more one of a kind than the Sun Summoner,” whispered Inej, holding Kaz' gaze firmly.

There was the smallest hint of a smile on Kaz' lips as he huffed, though he did not reply. Instead, he tapped his cane on the ground, in a manner that drew Jesper's attention immediately.

“We're going to take a detour before we depart,” declared Kaz without further explanation.

Glances were exchanged – Jesper looked at Inej curiously, Mal and Alina had a silent conversation with looks alone. Kaz remained quiet, not elaborating at all, simply leading the way. Inej and Jesper followed him, blindly. Though Mal and Alina also followed them, perhaps simply lost.

/break\

The detour led them to a barmaid and to a goat. The sounds Jesper made when he got to hug Milo again were a bit embarrassing. At least he wasn't the only one; for some reason, Mal made similar sounds as he also hugged the goat. Perhaps it was a sign of sorts, that one goat tied them together. It had saved them – in a way, if Jesper had kept freaking out, Inej doubted that they would have made their way through the fold in one piece – and it had apparently helped Mal too.

Inej wasn't sure, but it seemed like the goat was the final, uniting factor. Mal and Alina joined them on their way back to Ketterdam. The five of them (and the goat) sat together on the ship. Jesper, happy with his goat, sat next to Kaz. Very close to Kaz, though not touching. Inej saw the tenderness in Kaz' eyes, regardless of how much he tried to hide it. He'd always had a soft spot for Jesper, even if he had very unconventional ways of showing it. Like by buying Jesper a goat.

On Jesper's other side sat Mal, so both men could cuddle the goat. Alina sat opposite Mal and Inej sat opposite Jesper and Kaz. Meaning Inej sat next to Alina. For hours.

She left a little space between the two of them at the beginning of the journey, though she couldn't help but keep looking at Alina and slowly inching closer the longer they traveled. Alina covered herself with a shawl, just in case anyone would recognize her as the Sun Summoner. Laying low was a very good idea. Was there a lower to lay than with the Crows...? Though it was only at the end of their journey, as they reached their destination, that Inej found it in herself to voice it.

“What will you do in Ketterdam?” asked Inej, her voice soft.

“I... Train?” guessed Alina with a thoughtful expression. “Gamble? Take in the sights?”

“If you want to be useful and earn some money. Find us,” Kaz made it sound like an order.

Inej was not the only one surprised by that, though she smiled, pleased. For now, they had their own business to sort out first. The three of them headed off, toward the club, not looking as mysterious and dangerous as they usually did, because... there was a baby goat skipping along next to them.

/break\

For a few weeks, Mal and Alina hid away together. He got a job at a bar to earn them enough money to support them. They thought it would be best for Alina to not be too public; just in case. Even though the chances of someone recognizing her as the Sun Summoner here were incredibly low. But after a while, it got kind of boring. And when Mal lost his job, because he had lost his temper with a customer who was more than just rude toward Alina, they made their way to the Crow Club. Ever since they had parted ways, they hadn't seen the three again. In passing, Alina thought she had seen Jesper or Inej one or two times. She knew Mal would occasionally sneak off to visit the goat – she still didn't quite understand the whole goat-thing, but Mal was very happy about it. He's always liked small, cuddle-able animal, though goats were bigger than bunnies.

“You came,” Inej's voice was a whisper and it came out of nowhere.

Alina could have sworn Inej was nowhere in sight when Alina and Mal had entered. Yet suddenly, she was right behind Alina. And she was still as pretty. For a moment, Alina stared in awe at her beauty. All words lost to her. She also lost Mal; he spotted Jesper at a poker table, with the goat on his lap. For a second, Alina smiled as she watched her childhood friend hug Milo the goat.

“I... yes. I don't know... much about what you guys do. But... if we can be useful. We could... use the money. And... I... missed you,” blurted Alina out.

Well, that was elegant. She shouldn't have put everything into that one sentence. She was normally not this awkward around people she had feelings for. But then again, no one had ever pledged loyalty and devotion to her the way Inej had. How was she supposed to be not awkward after that? Her cheeks felt warm, but the genuinely surprised and happy look on Inej's face made it worth it.

“I'm... sure we will be able to find use for you, and for the tracker,” assured Inej.

She slipped her hand into Alina's, seemingly without even thinking about it herself. It seemed to come so easily and naturally to them, just as it had at the fire-place. It was strange, how often Alina thought of that short moment, but it had been the first moment of serene peace in a while. Alina smiled to herself as she let Inej lead her toward Kaz' office.

/break\

Inej had always known that the Sun Summoner would bring peace, but she had not expected it would be her own personal peace. Being with Alina made her feel like nothing before had. It took many more weeks of shared missions and laughter before Inej understood that it was more than simple sainthood – Alina had become Inej's personal sanctuary. Her own peace and comfort and warmth and light. Hers. And, mesmerizingly enough, she had become Alina's.

“Good morning,” whispered Alina with a smile as she brushed Inej's hair out of her face.

They had shared their first kiss after an exhilarating mission, adrenaline and laughter fueling them. And now, Inej got to wake up to that face, that smile. And she had never felt that alive before. Reaching out, Inej cupped her face and brought it close enough to kiss her gently.

~*~ The End ~*~

#Alinej #Inej x Alina #Inej Ghafa #Alina Starkov #Shadow and Bone #Fanfiction #Fluff #Falling in Love

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chilling-seavey · 3 years

Text

Heartbreak Hotel (d.s.) - Chapter Nineteen

A/N This chapter’s song is the sweet I Want You, I Need You, I Love You by Elvis of course

Daniel didn’t know that girls – humans – could scream that loudly. The way Elvis moved and danced on stage had all the girls screaming at the top of their lungs and Daniel was sure he’d lose his hearing by the end of the night. Regardless, he was thoroughly enjoying himself and singing right along with Loretta and the rest of the crowd as Elvis played his show. Loretta was absolutely shining, clinging right onto the rope barrier and smiling up at the man on stage like he was God Himself. You best bet she was screaming too, especially when Elvis reached down to hold her hand for a brief moment and she absolutely lost it, turning to her right to where Daniel stood and she shook him by his shoulders, screaming in disbelief.

“Daniel, did you see that?!”

Her obvious glee just made Daniel smile. Maybe Christian was right; he seemed to enjoy her company more than the show itself. But it was close.

About halfway through there was an intermission and Daniel and Loretta headed to the back of the stage space to the concession stand to grab some snacks.

Daniel pulled out his wallet and the few dollar bills that his mother gave him, “What do you want to eat?”

“You’re paying for me?” Loretta asked.

“Of course.”

“What a gentleman.” Loretta giggled, linking her arm in his to shuffle closer as they waited in line.

Daniel’s heart skipped a beat and he smiled down to his hands as he tucked the folded bills in his palm.

“I’m really craving some popcorn.” Loretta whispered, skimming the menu set up over the small concession stand.

“Really? Me too.” Daniel smiled.

“If you get something different, we can share.”

“Sure…like what?”

“Anything but chocolate.”

Daniel looked back at her, “You don’t like chocolate?”

“I know it’s weird. But why do you think I drink strawberry milkshakes?” Loretta shrugged.

“It’s not weird. I don’t like chocolate either.” Daniel whispered.

She glanced over at him and they shared small shy smiles before stepping up to the counter to order. Loretta kept her arm linked in his until they had to carry their snacks and drinks to one of the tables along the side wall and they sat down together to eat their spread of popcorn, gummy candies, and two bottles of Coca-Cola. Loretta’s gaze lingered on Daniel as he ate quietly and watched the crowd bustle about the room as intermission was about to end. He didn’t notice her staring as he popped a candy in his mouth.

They didn’t speak for a moment as the lights flicked to alert the crowd that the concert was to continue in a few moments; they each seemed in their own minds for a moment. Daniel could taste the mix of salty popcorn and sweetness of the candy with each bite, the flavours lining up perfectly to Loretta’s snacking. He suddenly didn’t feel like jamming out to Elvis anymore. His heart kind of hurt. He set his pop bottle back on the table and wiped his hands on his trousers with a sigh.

“Are you alright?” Loretta asked him, sensing his change in demeanor.

He pulled a small smile in her direction, “Yeah.”

Loretta paused her chewing for a moment to stare disbelieving at him but then turned back to the stage when Elvis returned to continue the show. He talked to the crowd a little bit and the girls that were right at the front were screaming and reaching for him, nearly fainting when he touched their hands.

Neither Loretta nor Daniel made a move to join the audience by the stage, both looking in different directions and obviously bluer than when the evening started and neither could quite place why.

“Alright, we’ll get right back into the music since that’s what you’re all here for.” Elvis said, his soft southern accent making all the girls swoon. “We’re gonna slow it down a little so everyone grab your honeys and let’s show some love.”

The band began to play slowly, the steady tune of ‘I Want You, I Need You, I Love You’ and Elvis’ smooth voice filled the small auditorium. The couples found each other around the dancefloor and swayed slowly together to the soft music; Daniel and Loretta being the only two sitting alone. Daniel watched the man on stage sing deeply, catching his eyes from across the room and just as quickly, their stare was broken.

Daniel stood up, suddenly filled with a strange shot of determination and he turned to Loretta, holding out his hand to her, “Would you like to dance?”

Her flat face lifted into a smile and she nodded, setting her hand in his as she stood up and he led her to the dancefloor. Daniel turned to face her, hesitantly setting his hands on her waist as hers rested against his shoulders, plenty of space between them.

“Every time that you're near

All my cares disappear

Darling, you're all that I'm living for

I want you, I need you, I love you

More and more”

It was as if Daniel couldn’t stop looking at her even if he tried, her green eyes sparkling in the spotlights of the stage and her light freckles that dotted her nose only kept him staring as if trying to memorize each one. He felt so warm with her and her hands on his shoulders nearly made his knees weak as they swayed softly to the gentle music, his hands merely ghosting her waist as if afraid to touch her.

“I thought I could live without romance

Until you came to me

But now I know that

I will go on loving you eternally”

Loretta shifted to hold her wrist behind his neck comfortably, pulling him a step closer and his hands glided tighter around her waist over the material of her lacy dress. Their eyes were still locked, unbreakable gazes, as if they were trying to read each other in perfect silence. Daniel’s body was urging him to pull her even closer and he fought the natural desire to tug her close, trying to simply picture Corbyn’s raised fist in front of his face instead. He was already pushing his luck dancing with her. The song certainly didn’t help and Daniel’s heart was racing in his chest until he felt like he might completely burst.

“Won't you please be my own?

Never leave me alone

'Cause I die every time we're apart

I want you, I need you, I love you

With all my heart”

Neither of them knew how it happened – maybe they were too distracted by the music – but soon they were nearly chest to chest; so close their noses were almost brushing as they stared silently, expressionlessly at each other. Loretta was a few inches shorter but not by much and she was staring up at him like she didn’t want to look at anything else for the rest of her life. Or at least that’s what Daniel felt like but maybe it was his own subconscious desires he was yearning to make a reality through any excuse he could reach for.

But she was beautiful. And he couldn’t deny the honest magnetization he felt towards her in the most innocent and literal way; he just couldn’t stay away from her. Corbyn’s threats meant nothing in that moment. Nothing at all.

“I thought I could live without romance

Until you came to me

But now I know that

I will go on loving you eternally

You please be my own?

Never leave me alone

'Cause I die every time we're apart

I want you, I need you, I love you

With all my heart.”

#🍓#soulmate au #daniel seavey #why dont we #corbyn besson #jack avery #jonah marais #wdw #zach herron #why dont we fanfic #daniel seavey fanfic #au #1950s

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voltagesmutter · 4 years

Text

Victor - ‘Is it true?’

Inspired by Cry Me a River because it’s the ultimate heartache song

Angst and heartbreak for OC (Bella Swan) with Victor.

IDK WHY I FELT HURT ENOUGH TO DO THIS AND I APOLOGISE

You sobbed into your pillow, your eyes so sore from crying, all moisture had left your body, leaving you dry and unable to cry anymore. The hurt, the pure betrayal of Victor. The man who promised you his life, his heart, his soul, that he never harm you but there it was in black and white. The headline screaming, it filling every social media platform and on every news tv station, ‘Lovelands Favoured Actress Pregnant by Lovelands Most Successful Tycoon Victor Li’. It cut deep into your heart, ripping it apart by each second.

He had tried countlessly to call you, your phone blowing up with his name but it hurt too much, you just switched your phone off. You didn’t have the strength to talk to him. It all made sense, three months ago he had to go to France with her for a film release and he had never been the same since he returned home, distant to you, almost pushing you away. Of course he cheated on you, why wouldn’t he. You was simply a meek, plain, woman you had nothing compared to her, the stunning and loved world actress. What hurt most was you found out just like everyone else, Victor hiding away his affair from you. It was only because Chik made a statement in the last hour that you, along with the world found out.

You felt lost, you felt sick, how could Victor, your Victor do this to you?

You’d been at work when the announcement had been released, you were just about to go see Victor on your lunch, god what an idiot you were.

“Holy shit!” Anna yelled, her face going white as she dropped her phone, her eyes racing to yours.

“What’s up? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?” You ask, taking a bite out of your apple. Anna just kept her eyes on you, she knew you didn’t know.

“Have you seen the news…?” She asked and you shake your head. Just as her mouth opened, nearly every employee ran to your side, bombarding you with questions.

“What, what are you all on about?” You laugh off the stupid rumours before turning to Anna who was clutching your hand.

“Bella,” She whispers and picks up her phone, showing you the article and there in a photo was Chik with the smallest non existent bump but had been enhanced with a separate photo of Victor below. Your mouth went dry and your eyes welled up reading the headline. Chik, pregnant, Victor? No. No it’s just tabloid news, but there she was claiming to be pregnant… Even if it was only the most minuscule bump it was still real. The article ran how she was roughly 12 weeks pregnant, the farther being none other than… than Victor. She had gotten pregnant after a lovers affair in France… Reading the article you had stopped breathing, your heart almost refusing to beat, your stomach twisting into knots.

“Bella…?” A voice said but you turned throwing up in a nearby bin, unable to register what was happening. You felt numb, physically shaking. Victor's name lit up from your phone and Anna looked at you, you shook your head, unable to even register his name right now.

“Bella? I’m looking for Bella,” Goldman's voice rang through the office, the employees mummering and eyes turning to you, the news article was on everyones screen and launched on the news as ‘Breaking news’. Everything around you was moving, but you was froze the numbness taking over you as you sat there frozen.

As Goldman pushed his way to your desk, he was shocked to see you wasn’t there, frantically searching for you. You had walked out of the building, your phone ringing non stop but you stepped out into the rain. Not even noticed it was raining, you walked home in silence, unable to register anything, the news articles and photos streaming through your mind. If he didn’t love you anymore why didn’t he say, why did he have to cheat on you, why did he have to get someone else pregnant? Why did it have to be her.

When you arrived home you were soaked to the core, water dripping from every inch of you but you never felt it. You never felt the cold, the rain, the people who stopped to ask you if you were okay, you felt nothing. You didn’t even feel Lucien touch your arm as he tried to stop you from entering your apartment but you looked at him with the eyes of a broken woman and he left you alone.

You barely made it your bed before collapsing, the tears unable to stop. You knew you hadn’t spoken to Victor but why would Chik make such a statement if it wasn’t true.

That night was the worst nights sleep you had ever had, unable to sleep but too exhausted to stay away. Everything replaying, over and over again. You knew you needed to speak to Victor, regardless of everything else you wanted to know why if you weren't good enough for him, why didn’t he just leave? Why did he have to put you through this?

The whispers and pitied looked filled the offices as you came into work the next day, you had managed to pull yourself together slightly but it was nothing compared to your normal bubbly self. Your heart nearly stopped as you approached his office, your phone still turned off from yesterday, regretting your decision to come here. Amy, his secretary someone who you had considered a close friend, reached over her desk and squeezed your hand mouthing, ‘Were all with you’. You took a breath before stepping into his office.

There he was, the man you loved who always looked sharper than words was a mess on sat at his chair. His hands buried into his hands, his tie hanging off him, had he slept here? No, stop it you're here to talk. You softly whispered his name and his head pulled instantly from his desk. His face was pale, there were heavy bags under his eyes which were puffed from crying, his normally slick hair was un-neatly scuffed. He looked worse than you did.

“Bella, Bella is that really you,” He asked, looking at you as if you was a dream. You bit your lip to stop yourself crying and stood solid in your space.

“Is it true?”.

“Bella…” “Answer me Victor is it true!” You hissed, a tear running down your cheek. But before he could answer, you heard a sickly sweet voice on the other side of the door.

“Miss! You can’t go in there!” Amy yelled.

“Stop time” You yelled at Victor.

“I said stop it!” You cried and everything around you stilled. You turned and saw her, she was pushing open the door and your eyes moved down to see her hand on her stomach. She had a smug grin on her face, almost as if she knew you was there. She didn’t look pregnant, but then again do you at such an early time?

“Is it true?” You asked one final time, turning to Victor.

He didn’t respond, he just held his head in shame and that was all you needed.

“Her! Victor her!” You screamed, unable to hold back your anger anymore. He didn’t say anything, he sat there and let you scream and yell at him, not once meeting your eyes. “I can’t just stop picturing you wit her,”.

“Why, why her Victor? If I wasn’t good enough you should have just left!” Victor jumping up from his desk, his first movement he had since you entered the room. His hand reached for you over the desk but you turned sharply.

“Never enough? You are everything to me,” He manages but you scoffed. “It happened in France… We had too much to drink, she kept filling up my glass and…” He trailed off.

“I hope your happy,” Was all you could manage, your heart unable to take anymore.

“Bella please, please, I didn’t know she was pregnant” He pleaded, the voices of a broken man.

“No Victor, you made your choice,” You hissed before turning around making it clear you wanted to leave. The sounds of reality snapped back and Chik entered.

“Well, look who’s here,” She snided as she walked in, Amy chasing after her. “Victors pregnant lady coming through,”. You didn’t even give her the satisfaction of a comment, simply walking past her as if she didn't exist, ignoring Victor's final plea to you.

You took the next two weeks off work, allowing your broken heart to recover but it’s pretty hard when tabloid stories appeared everywhere. The media had reached out to you desperate to get your side of the story but you refused, your heartache wasn’t someone else’s entertainment. You refused to be Victor Li’s heartbroken victim as the media liked to refer to you as. Gavin, Kiro and Lucien had been by your side giving you support. Lucien sometimes sleeping on your sofa even though his bed was on the other side of your wall, Kiro took of days to sit and play games with you (even sharing his snacks) and Gavin flying you across the city whenever you needed to leave the apartment. It was hard and you cried yourself to sleep, you broke down when Anna came to see you as you cried to her, “He’s having a baby with another woman, it should be me,”.

By the time you returned to work everyone wanted to support you, but you didn’t want pity. You had changed your hair, cutting it short and sending it silver, a classic sign of a breakup to represent you couldn’t go back. It was hard, beyond hard, but you channelled all your anger into your work. You made it very clear you wouldn’t see Victor, anything business related someone else could do it as your emotions were balanced to be there with him. You had removed all of him from your life but he still lingered everywhere you went, he was your CEO after all, how stupid was you for getting involved with him.

It still hurt every time said his name or asked how you were doing. Determined to let this be a new beginning to you, you had persuaded Kiro to let you train with him, focusing your new spare time into yourself.

After 4 months had passed you were finally feeling happy, no-more crying every day over Victor, no now you was focused on you like you should have been. Kiro and you had been working so hard in training your once curvy figure was now tight and toned, your hair was shoulder length platinum blonde with streaks of silver flowing through it, you changed your bleak dresses to new business attire, often white shirts tucked into a tight pencil skirt with black heels. You had blossomed, growing from a child into a woman, showing everyone the woman you truly was. Your confidence had hit new heights and you felt like you was floating on cloud-nine but it came crashing down slowly when there was a board meeting you and Victor were required to attend. Your heart raced at his name, you felt like you had taken two steps backwards.

“So we want to do a piece on Mr.Li and Miss Chik’s pregnancy and what better place than your company, Miss Swan,” One of the board directors said and you scoffed.

“No.” All eyes looked at you stunned and you blinked realising you had just argued back to your corporate bosses, “No, I’m sorry my company is too precious for me to hold this segment,”.

Victor’s eyes had lit up when he saw you walk into the office, he looked awful barely resembling your old Victor. He tried to say something to you but you held out your manicured hand to shake his, addressing him only in a professional manner. Too long had you cried over this man, you was here to show him how much better you were without him.

“This isn’t up for discuss Miss.Swan,”.

“No, I am the head of my company, I am not having her on my show,” You argued with pettiness. Victor looked at you heartbroken.

“Find another show because it’s not appearing on mine,” You snapped. One of the directors went to argue back but Goldman running into the room panting disturbed you.

“Sir! Sir, Mr.Li!” He panted, everyone turning to him. “News, baby, other man,”.

Your heart dropped and you looked at Victor who went white before getting up and leaving the room. The others in the room looked between you and themselves, what could Goldman possibly have meant?

You found out minutes later as in an exclusive interview that had been released that another man was claiming to be the father of Chik’s child and that when reaching out to her she had refused any contact with him. He was demanding a paternity test from her. You didn’t even think about your actions, your feet carrying you off to Victors office and bursting in to see him sitting there, crouched in his chair with his hands bunched in his hair.

“Victor,” You said, you weren't sure why you were here.

“She ruined us, she ruined us by going to the press with something that might not be true,” He managed, tears running down his face.

“You ruined us Victor, you slept with her,” You sighed and took a seat opposite him, it hurt you to see him look so lost.

“I’m going to make her get a paternity test, Goldman’s already on the phone to that other man,”.

“That's a wise decision,”.

“Bella, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He whispered, pulling his head out of his hands, tears brimming his eyes.

“It’s too late for your apology Victor, you did what you did,” You say before standing up and walking out, leaving the broken man behind.

Tonight was the big celebration of your company's yearly report, there was going to be a huge ball held in your honour for the success of the year. You was so excited, a chance to thank all your staff for their dedicated work. As you waltzed across the dance-floor with rounds of applause and cheers, 6 months ago you were the woman who Victor Li had broken the heart of but now you stood tall, strong and proud as the successor of your company. Your smile beamed until your eyes met anothers, Victors. You hadn’t seen him for two months, ever since the public announcement of Chik’s baby daddy scandal he had disappeared completely.

Unable to stop your legs you made your way over to him.

“Victor, I didn’t think you would be here,” You say, your hands gracefully taking some champagne from a passing waiter.

“This is your special night, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” He responds and you shake your head slightly.

‘Bella, I miss you more than I can describe, I love you, I love you so so much, please I know I made a mistake but can we just,” He said, his eyes pleading with you. Never had you seen this man beg for anything.

“What, you think just because Chik isn’t having your baby that everything would be fixed?” You scoffed.

“Is everything okay?” A voice came from behind you and a hand wrapped around your waist.

“No, everything is fine, Victor was just congratulating me,” You say pressing against Gavin’s chest.

“Well come on, I want to dance with the most beautiful woman here,” He smiles as he leads you to the dance-floor, holding you close to him, whispering sweet words to you.

A heartbroken Victor watched the pair of you glide across the room, your smile illuminating the room before Gavin dipped you down and kissed you. His heart shattered into millions of pieces watching the woman he loved with every fibre of him being with another man but he knew it was his fault. A mistake, a mistake he would regret for the rest of his life. He tried to do right by Chik by standing by her with the pregnancy, he was at fault for it, only when the paternity revealed he wasn’t the father it was like karma. He deserved to lose you after what he had done but he couldn’t, watching you positively beaming, he wanted to be the reason you smiled and enjoyed life but he would never be able to take back that drunken mistake. He would give everything he had to go back in time and stop it from happening, giving all his fortune and wealth but it would never happen. He vowed to never stop time again because he couldn’t bare to live another extra second without you.

#mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #mr love queens choice victor #mlqc victor #mr love #this hurt so much #victor i apologise i still love you

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tirednotflirting · 3 years

Text

you're a sky full of stars

hi this fic was actually the combination of like three different ideas but i think it works out okay.

it’s more soft jalex bc we love soft jalex in this house

here it is on ao3 !

Alex’s flight is delayed.

It makes sense. He had sent Jack a picture of the snow-dusted pasture outside his window when he was getting ready to head for the airport so Jack had expected his early afternoon flight might be delayed by a little bit so the plane could be prepared to fly through the cold air. But a five hour delay was much longer than he originally anticipated.

All afternoon Jack had tried to busy himself with cleaning up a little more and a trip to the grocery store in between getting sad selfies from his boy in an airport Dunkin with updates on his flight time. Each one brought a bittersweet smile to his face because while he was sad he had to wait longer to have Alex in front of him, it was impossible to not smile at his pouty puppy dog eyes. Jack was certain he was sending the dramatic look on purpose, always trying to do something to make Jack smile. It was just one of the many reasons he was entirely head over heels.

The sun set a couple hours ago though and now Jack is camping out on his couch, staring out the big window in his living room, watching tiny blinking lights cross the sky and waiting for Alex’s flight to be one that catches his eye. It’s the closest he can get to stargazing in Los Angeles (the irony of the City of Stars being too bright to see the real ones isn’t lost on him) but it’ll have to do for now. The activity reminds him of Alex, as do most good and soft things in the world, and he can’t help but think about the last time he was at the farm.

It had been Alex’s idea to bundle up a bit and lay out a couple blankets in the front yard to watch the stars one night in October (Mars and Jupiter are going to be visible tonight. Jack, come on, this is important). He requests hot chocolate before they go out, which Alex happily makes and pours into a Thermos that Jack jokes he remembers from the high school lunch room. He lets Alex lay out all the blankets once they’re out there and after moving to sit, he pats the spot between his legs. Alex laughs but moves to take a seat, his back immediately relaxing to rest against Jack’s chest as his eyes drift up to the clear, cold skies.

He points up into different spots across the night sky to provide direction on how to spot the planets and some constellations he looked up the stories for. Alex tells Jack the stories as well in his typical dramatic fashion while his fingers play with the strings of Jack’s hoodie. Something about the simple action feels so fond, Jack thinks, as one of his own hands lifts to pull Alex’s beanie back over his ear.

He’s just finished telling Jack a story about a guy called Orion, when Alex reaches for Jack’s hand and holds it against his chest. Jack can feel him sigh from the way his chest lifts below his hand. “I’m glad I did this.”

“What this are you referring to?” Jack questions as he slips his fingers into the spaces between Alex’s where they rest against his heart.

“Lots of stuff, I guess,” Alex says, his eyes still trained on the sky. “Decided on this place and the animals, agreed to the hot chocolate for tonight, fell for you. I’m just thankful the universe allowed for all of it, you know?”

Jack smiles easily at his words. He’s always been grateful to have Alex’s perspective on things be such a constant in his life. The world feels way too big and scary and it’s easy for Jack to feel like he’s getting lost in it. It’s his own reason for being so thankful to have the farm to visit from time to time. Jack likes the activity and pace of LA but he’s glad he has a place to head to where the rest of the world aside from his boy and a few goats and horses disappears. “Yeah, I think I do know.”

Alex turns then and resituates himself in Jack’s lap and Jack’s smile grows as he just barely makes out Alex’s in the minimal light provided from the porch light they left on when heading out. Alex leans forward to press his lips to Jack’s, the action obviously intended to be a short one and Jack finds himself laughing against his lips at the gasp Alex lets out as he lies back fully against the blanket. Alex pulls back but only far enough that their foreheads still rest together. “Excuse me, sir, that was not very safe.”

“I live on the edge, baby.” Jack teases back before pulling a giggling Alex closer against his chest to bring their lips back together.

The stars that night had appeared in Jack’s dreams for weeks after that trip. The simple joys of the farm and the sky and Alex lived on a loop in Jack’s brain pretty much always until he could get back to the clean, brisk Maryland air. He sighs now as his eyes strain against the LA sky, searching pointlessly for even the tiniest glittering of a star.

He could go to sleep, Jack tells himself, as another yawn leaves his lips. He’s been sat on the couch that faces the window for a few hours now, his fingers absent-mindedly strumming his guitar while he waits for a text with a selfie containing one of the LAX filters to tell him the plane has landed.

He wills himself to get up and wander toward the kitchen to set out Alex’s favorite tea on the counter. He fills the kettle and leaves it on the stove so that way it’ll be ready for when he gets the notification so he can make a mug for Alex to have while he fills in Jack on the day and the writing session he had yesterday. A mug of tea will be the only thing Jack can use to get Alex to stay awake long enough to let him just listen to him for awhile, the sound of his voice, live and in person, always being something to warm Jack’s soul after they’ve been apart.

Jack heads back to the couch then, determined to watch the sky until his phone buzzes. He blinks the spots away from his eyes as he takes a seat and pulls the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his cold hands. He’s not used to getting tired this early. He used to live in some kind of nocturnal state, he’s pretty sure. It’s as he’s sitting there, lounging against the back of the plush couch and thinking on what could have caused this change in his lifestyle (he’s got an idea of a who rather than a what that has him wanting to settle down), that Jack’s eyes finally drop shut.

“Hey there, sunshine.”

Jack’s eyes flutter open at the sound of Alex’s voice and he feels his heart melt a little at the view in front of his still open window. A beanie covers Alex’s head, pulled down over his ears to fight the rare cold night they were meant to be having in LA. He has yet to take off his jacket, evidence that he must have immediately come to find Jack after stepping through the front door. Alex is always an absolute vision to Jack but there’s something special about his first look at him after they’ve been away from one another for a while.

“You lost all rights to call me that after the last album,” Jack jokes lazily, his hand reaching up to cup Alex’s jaw, the familiar stubble against his palm making a blush and tired grin paint its way across his face. “I was gonna try to stay up for you. Was gonna try to figure out exactly when you would get up here so I could have a tea ready for you and everything.”

“It’s the thought that counts, my love,” Alex smiles, his face turning in Jack’s hand to press a kiss to his palm. “You can make me my tea in the morning if that’ll make you feel better?”

“Mmm, maybe.”

Alex laughs and his eyes light up some in the dull light coming from the entryway and that alone lets Jack consider this night a win, regardless of his tired mind not allowing him a better welcome home for his boy. (If he wasn’t so tired he probably would question how easily he called this place home for the both of them but it’ll have to wait until he’s had more and better sleep.) Alex leans closer and tucks a finger below Jack’s chin before brushing their lips together. “I need to shower off all the plane air but why don’t we go head upstairs and I’ll meet you in bed, yeah? We can catch up in the morning.”

Jack sighs because his tired brain knows that it’s a good plan but he was really looking forward to a catch up. He’s also not all that certain he’ll be able to fall asleep again that easily. “If I’m still awake when you’re done will you tell me more constellation stories?”

He watches Alex’s features soften impossibly more. “You want to hear more of my useless star stories?”

Jack shakes his head as he moves to stand, his hand reaching down for Alex’s so he can walk them in the direction of the bedroom. “They aren’t useless. Always love listening to you talk about your love for everything going on up above us. You always sound so excited.”

They stumble up the stairs, hands loosely linked together as Alex walks behind Jack, his free hand providing a guiding, comforting touch as Alex steers them down the hall. After entering the room, Jack falls into the mattress and behind him he can hear Alex laugh, the sound even more of a comfort than his favorite song. “Well in that case,” Alex starts and Jack lifts his head to watch a tired smirk pull at his lips. “On the plane, I read this really cool article about some of the zodiac constellations that I would love to share with the class.”

“I’m all ears, babe.”

Alex bites his lip as his eyes meet Jack’s from his spot leaning against the bathroom door frame. “Get ready for sleep then and I’ll be back in a few. Happy to be back. I love you so much.”

“I love you more,” Jack says back, his face half-smushed into a pillow. Alex winks and turns to close the door.

And though completely exhausted, Jack finds himself making the mental note that maybe the whole naming a star after Alex would actually be a good birthday present after all. Then maybe Jack can be the one to tell Alex a story. One about a boy who loved another boy enough that every night he filled the sky full of stars and their stories.

#jalex #jalex fic #atl fic #we love some fluffy 2.45am nonsense :))))))

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spacesuitsforemergency · 4 years

Text

The Rise Of Iron Maiden

Chapter 6: Whatever It Takes

Word Count: 3.1k

Originally Requested by: @amateurwriterbigdreamer

Previous Chapter: The Return Of Iron Maiden

Next Chapter: The Time Heist

A/N: this chapter was so fun to write, hope you enjoy! This is probably my favorite chapter so far

“Come on, I feel like I'm the only one eating.” Dr. Banner pushes a plate forward. “Try some of that. Have some eggs.”

“I am so confused.” Scott stared in awe.

“Yeah...” you blink.

“These are confusing times.” Banner says seriously.

“Right. No, no, that's not what I meant.” Scott shook his head.

“What exactly is going on here?” Tye gestured to Banner...or...Hulk...Dr. Hulk...

“No, I get it. I'm kidding! I know. It's crazy. I'm wearing shirts now.” Bruce says happily. You stare at his current form, somehow part Banner and part Hulk.

“Yeah! Wh...How? Why?” Scott stuttered.

“Five years ago, we got our asses beaten. Except it was worse for me. Because I lost twice. First, Hulk lost, then Banner lost. Then, we all lost.” Bruce explained.

“No one blamed you, Bruce.” Natasha reassured him.

“I did. For years, I've been treating the Hulk like he's some kind of disease, something to get rid of. But then I started looking at him as the cure. Eighteen months in a gamma lab. I put the brains and the brawn together. And now look at me. Best of both worlds...” he motioned to himself.

“What is this Hannah Montana bullshit...?” You whisper to Tye as three children walk up behind Bruce...or Hulk.

“Excuse me, Mr. Hulk?” The girl asks shyly.

“Yes?” Banner turned to face them.

“Can we get a photo?”

“100%, little person. Come on, step up.” He took off his glasses and held his phone out to Scott. “You mind?”

Scott nods and takes the picture, leaning over to give the phone back. “Don't you wanna grab one with me? I'm Ant-Man.” He offered. “They're Hulk fans, they don't know Ant-Man. Nobody does.”

“Wait, no, no, he feels bad. No, he wants you to...he wants to...” he turns to the kids, the boy shakes his head. “You want to take a picture with him, right?”

“Stranger Danger.” The other boy adds.

“He's even saying no he doesn't. I get it. I don't want it either.” Scott tried to shrug it off.

You and Tye cringed in second hand embarrassment as the scene unfolded in front of you, Natasha rolling her eyes and continuing to eat her breakfast.

“Anyways...” Tye muttered when the kids finally walk away.

“About what we were saying...” Steve added.

“Right. The whole time travel do-over? Guys, it's outside my area of expertise.” He shook his head as he turned back to face you guys.

“Well, you pulled this off. I remember a time when that seemed pretty impossible time, too.” Natasha smiled.

•

“Okay, here we go. Time travel test number one. Scott, fire up the uhhh... the van thing.”

You stand with Banner and perfect the controls, Tye, Steve and Nat standing aside to let you two work.

“Breakers are set, emergency generators are on standby.” You alert him.

“Good. 'Cause if we blow the grid, I don't wanna lose Tiny here in the 1950's.” Banner snickered. Everyone looks at him with concern.

“Excuse me?” Scott asked, panicked.

“He’s kidding!” Tye said, only half sure.

“You can’t say things like that.” Natasha laughs nervously.

“Yeah uh...just a bad joke. Scientist humor.” You reassure Scott, and he seems satisfied with your answer.

“You were kidding, right?” Natasha whispered to you two.

“I have no idea. We're talking about time travel here. Either it's all a joke, or none of it is.” You shrug.

“We're good! Get your helmet on, Scott. I'm gonna send you back a week, let you walk around for an hour, then bring you back in 10 seconds. Makes sense?” Bruce sends a thumbs up to Scott.

“Perfectly not confusing.” Scott nodded sarcastically.

“Good luck, Scott. You’ve got this.” Steve called over to him.

“You're right. I do, Captain America.” Scott smiles proudly. Bruce presses a button, and Scott is sucked into the Quantum Realm. “On the count of three. 3...2...1!”

The Ant Man suit comes back, but inside of it is a teenager.

“Uh, guys? This...this doesn't feel right.” What you presumed was teenage Scott Lang, said worriedly.

“What is this?” Steve asked.

“Oh hell no.” Tye shook his head.

“What’s going on?” You ask Bruce as he fiddles with the controls.

“That...who is that?” Natasha asked.

“Hold on.” Bruce said, panicking.

“Is that Scott?” Natasha asked, lookingback and forth between the teenager and the scientists.

“Yes, it’s Scott!” Teenage Scott shouted.

He’s sucked in again, and when he reappears there’s an old man.

“Ow! My back!” Old Man Scott Lang groaned.

“What is this?” Steve repeated.

“Can I get a little space here?” Bruce shooed at them.

“Yeah yeah. Can you bring him back?” Steve persisted.

“I’m working on it!” Bruce nudged you aside, now taking full control of the panel. You step down, standing between Steve and Tye.

“For the love of the lord...” Tye pinched the bridge of his nose. “Obviously we’re working with a couple of geniuses.”

“Hey, this isn’t me.” You raise your hands in surrender, as another form of Scott appears.

“It’s a baby.” Steve blinked.

“It’s Scott!”

“As a baby!”

“He’ll grow.”

“Bring Scott back!”

“When I say kill the power, kill the power.” Bruce motioned for you to go to the generator.

“Oh god. Oh my god.” You mutter nervously, walking to the generator.

“And...kill it!”

You pull the lever, and everything shuts down. You sigh in relief when you finally see the normal Scott Lang.

“Oh thank god.” Natasha took a breath.

“Somebody peed my pants.” Scott blinked. “But I don't know if it was "baby" me or "old" me...Or just "me" me.”

“Time travel!” Bruce cheered. You and Steve don’t say anything, Tye and Natasha give him an identical look of displeasure. “What? I see this as an absolute win!”

•

“Hey there, Iron Maiden.”

You turn to see your dad standing in the doorway of your old room, where you were currently searching for said Iron Maiden suit. You swear you left it in your closet before you left.

“What are you doing here?” You glare at your father.

“Thought you might want this.” Tony hands you a briefcase. You take it and slowly open it, seeing a polished up version of your suit.

“You...?”

“I’ve been doing some thinking and...you’re right.” Your dad admits. “This chance...it’s worth it.”

“So you’re going to help?” You ask hopefully.

“You seem desperate for it. Let me guess: he turned into a baby.”

“Yeah how did you...?”

“That's the EPR Paradox. Instead of pushing Lang through time, you might've wound up pushing time through Lang. It's tricky. Dangerous. Somebody should've cautioned you against it.”

“You did.” You chuckle lightly.

“Oh, I did?” He winked playfully at you. “Thank God I'm here. Regardless, I fixed it. A fully functioning Time-Space GPS. I just want peace. Turns out, resentment is corrosive, and I hate it.”

“Like father like daughter.” You chuckle.

“We got a shot at getting these stones, but I gotta tell you my priorities: Bring back what we lost? I hope, yes. Keep what I got? I have to, at all costs. And... maybe not die trying will be nice.” He negotiates.

“...sounds like a deal.” You agree. He reaches out to shake your hand, you grab it and pull him into a hug. He hugs for a moment before straightening up.

“Oh, and don’t parade that around. Pretend like you had it the whole time, I don’t have one for the whole team. We are getting the whole team, right?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You bet your ass we are.”

•

“Kind of a step down from a from a golden palace for an Avenger highness and whatnot.” Rocket mutters as the truck arrives at New Asgard, which was in a small fishing town in Norway. You hop out, following them along the docks.

“Hey, have a little compassion, pal. First they've lost Asgard, then half the people. They're probably just happy to have a home.” Bruce tells him.

You were on your way to try to convince Thor to rejoin the team, so that you would have a better shot at succeeding. Tye was with Natasha to go get Clint, Rhodey was back preparing with Nebula, Tony, Natasha, Scott, and Steve.

A girl called Valkyrie points you in the direction of Thors residence, and you follow the raccoon and the Hulk into a house.

“What the...Woo! Something died in here.” Rocket grimaced at the smell, and you scrunched your nose up in disgust.

“Hello? Thor?” Bruce calls through the house.

“Are you here about the cable?” Thor calls from somewhere. Your jaw drops when you see him. He’s definitely...put on a few pounds.

“The Cinemax ran out about two weeks ago, and the sports were all kind of fuzzy.” Thor rambled on as he grabbed a beer.

“Thor?” You ask, and he turns to look at you.

“Boys! Y/N!” He cheered happily. “Oh my God! Its so to see you!” He then pulled Rocket into a hug. “Come here, you little rascal!”

“No, I'm good. I'm good. That's not necessary.” Rocket pried himself away from Thor, dodging and standing on the other side of you.

“Hulk, you know my friends, Miek, Korg, right?” He gestured to a rock guy and some alien, playing...ew, Fortnite. Thank god Tye and Jaime weren’t here to witness this (they would probably physically fight them).

“Beer's on the bucket. Feel free to log on to the Wi-Fi. No password, obviously.” Korg then goes back to his game. “Thor, he's back. The kid on the TV that called me a dickhead again.”

“NoobMaster.” Thor growled, as of spewing the name of his greatest enemy and grabbing the headset. “Noobmaster? Yeah, it's Thor again. You know, the God of Thunder? Listen, buddy. If you don't log off this game immediately, I am gonna fly over to your house, come down to that basement you're hiding in, rip off your arms AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR BUTT!!! Oh, that's right. Yes, go cry to your father, you little weasel!”

“What is going on?” You whisper to the guys.

“We’re witnessing the human embodiment of the word ‘loser’.” Rocket muttered, Bruce lightly nudging him. “What?”

“Buddy, you alright?” Bruce ignores the non raccoon.

“Yes, I'm fine! Why, don't I look all right?” Thor asked.

“You look like melted ice cream.” Rocket crossed his arms.

“So, what’s up?” Thor chuckled.

“We need your help. There might be a chance we could fix everything.” You explain.

“What, like the cable? Cause that's been driving me bananas for weeks.”

“Like Thanos.” Bruce says softly.

Thor’s smile slowly fades, and he grabs Bruce’s shoulder. You watch as Thor goes through about a million emotions as Bruce reasons with him, explaining in proper detail why he should come.

“There’s beer on the ship.” Rocket finally adds, and that perks Thor’s attention.

“...what kind?”

•

“Drifting left. On the side there, Lebowski.” Tony says to Thor as he passes him, going up to Rocket, where Tye’s assisting him with building the glass platform. “Ratchet, how's it going?”

“It's Rocket. Take it easy. You're only a genius on Earth, pal.” Rocket points a wrench at him, before turning to Tye. “Alright kid, where’s that drill?”

Tony continued to strut down the hallway, finding you in a side room with Natasha, Rhodey, Scott, Bruce and Steve.

“Time travel suit? Not bad.” Rhodey admires your work.

“Scott, I made it close to your Ant Man suit so you don’t get confused.” You say slowly, as if he were a child.

“Yeah, Thanks.” Scott scoffed, before shrieking. “Hey, hey, hey! Easy, easy!”

“I’m being very careful!” Bruce insisted.

“No, you’re being very Hulky.” Scott sighs. “These are Pym Particles, alright? And ever since Hank Pym got snapped out of existence, this is it. This is what we have. We're not making any more.”

“Scott, calm down.” Rhodey said.

“You’ve got to chillax, man.” You nod.

“Sorry. We've got enough for one round trip each. That's it. No do-overs. Plus two test runs.” He waves around, and accidentally pressed a button. “One test run.”

You walk with him to the test chamber helping him prepare with Rocket, the others watching from a control panel.

“All right. I’m not ready for this.” Scott said shakily from his nerves.

“I’m game. I’ll do it.” Clint piped up. You and Rocket groan, since you just finished setting everything up for Scott.

You help Clint with the suit, telling him the controls while Rocket adjusts everything. Then, you step back to the control panel with the others.

“Clint, now you're gonna feel a little discombobulated from the chronoshift. Don't worry about it.” Bruce instructed.

“Wai-Wait a second, let me ask you something. If we can do this, you know, go back in time, why don't we just find baby Thanos, you know, and...” Rhodey made a hand gesture, suggesting that you strangle baby Thanos with a rope.

“Ooh, I like that plan.” Tye grinned, Rhodey also smiling and patting him on the shoulder proudly.

“First of all, that’s horrible...” Bruce said, disgusted at their joy from the idea of killing a child. “...And secondly, time doesn't work that way. Changing the past doesn't change the future.”

“Look, we go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them... Thanos doesn't have the stones. Problem solved.” Scott shrugged.

“Exactly!” Tye nodded.

“Bingo.” Clint piped up.

“That’s not how it works.” Nebula rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“Well, that’s what I heard.” Clint shrugged.

“What? By who? Who told you that?” Bruce asked.

“Terminator, TimeCop, Time After Time-“ Rhodey began to list.

“Star Trek, Donnie Darko, Men in Black III.” You added.

“Quantum Leap and Meet the Robinsons.” Scott said.

“A Wrinkle in Time, Somewhere in Time-“ Rhodey nodded.

“Hot Tub Time Machine. Butterfly Effect. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Basically, any movie that deals with time travel.” Tye said, as if everyone was stupid for not knowing.

“Die Hard? No that’s not one...” Scott mumbled.

“This is known.” You say.

“I don't know why everyone believes that, but that isn't true. Think about it: If you travel to the past, that past becomes your future. And your former present becomes the past. Which can't now be changed by your new future...” Bruce explained to everyone.

“Exactly.” Nebula nodded.

“So...Back To The Future's a bunch of bullshit?” Scott asked, horrified.

“So my childhoods been ruined.” Tye mumbled, to which you and Rhodey nodded in agreement.

“Alright, Clint. We're going in 3... 2... 1!” Bruce presses the button. You all watch in anticipation, then Bruce hits the button again.

Clint appears again, breathing heavily. Natasha rushes over to him, the rest of you circling him.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. You okay?” Natasha asked.

“Yeah, it worked. It worked.” Clint held up a baseball glove.

•

“You ready for this?” You ask Tye, playing with your food, too nervous to eat.

“No.” He laughed bitterly.

“At least we don’t have to help them track down the Stones.” You sigh. The Avengers were all racking their brains, trying to track them all down. Since you and Tye knew nothing about the Stones, you were excused from the meeting.

“Yeah. God forbid we use a couple brain cells.” He chuckled.

“What if we screw it up?” You ask after a few moments of silence.

“That’s what I’m worried about. We only have one shot to bring everyone back.” He sighed.

“Hopefully the one we’re assigned won’t be hard to get.” You kick your feet up and drape your legs across his lap.

“Please, as if anything with this job is easy.” Tye scoffed, shoving your legs off of him.

“I’m just happy to see everybody again. Did you notice Clint’s fresh cut?” You grinned.

“And the tattoos.” Tye nodded. “And Thor kinda...bulked up.”

“He plays Fortnite now.” You nod.

“Excuse me?” Tye raised an eyebrow, before pretending to gag.

“It’s...disturbing.” You giggle.

“Guys!” Scott ran into the room, a panicked look on his face. You and Tye stand, waiting for him to continue. “We got it.”

You both rush out to the room they’d been planning in, seeing the plans on the holographic screen. After they thoroughly explain the plan, everyone headed to bed for a good nights rest. Tye stays behind, eyes scanning the screens.

Jaime is counting on him, his best friend is counting on him to bring him back to life. You’re counting on him to bring back Eduardo and Peter. Scott and Clint’s counting on him to bring their families back. Steve is counting on him to bring Bucky back. Everyone’s counting on him to bring everyone back, and it terrifies him.

“What are you doing, kid?”

He looks over to see Natasha in the doorway, a concerned look on her face.

“Just...triple checking.” He mumbled, trying to slow his breathing and calm his nerves.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Natasha walked over to comfort her son. “You’ll be with Y/N, you know how she is. Nothing ever goes wrong with her around.”

“It went wrong on Titan.” He muttered, then shook his head. “It’s just...Jaime, he’s like my brother. I need to bring him back.”

“We will bring him back. We’re going to bring everyone back.” She reassured him.

“Thanks...mom.”

•

“All right. We have a plan. Six Stones, three teams. One shot.” Steve says as everyone suits up. “Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends...We lost family...We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know. But it doesn't mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we're gonna win. Whatever it takes.”

“Whatever it takes.” You all repeat, forming a circle and putting your fists in the middle. You look at everyone, each person has determination in their eyes.

“He's pretty good at that.” Rocket looked up at you.

“Right?” Scott said excitedly.

“All right. You heard the man. Stroke those keys, jolly green.” Tony told Bruce, who would be staying behind to make sure everything went smoothly on this end.

“Tractors engaged.” Bruce nodded.

“You promise to bring that back in one piece, right?” Rocket asks about his shrunken ship in Clint’s hand.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I'll do my best.” Clint nodded along.

“As promises go, that was pretty lame.” Rocket mumbled.

“See you in a minute.” Natasha smiles brightly at Clint and Tye.

“Good luck, mom.” Tye nodded.

And with that, you enter the Quantum Realm.

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