“I will have you without your armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”
Or, in other words, Amita’s brilliant performance as Inej.
I keep seeing people praising Freddy’s spot-on performance in season 2 (he embodies Kaz Brekker just as I pictured him reading the books, there’s no denying he is the perfect Bastard of the Barrel), but I don’t see enough love for my gal Amita!!! Her Inej is the perfect counterpart to Freddy’s Kaz, and, even though her trauma is far from being explored as deeply as Brekker’s, Amita manages to shine through in all of her scenes. Especially in this particular one.
To be honest, the scene on the show is not quite like I pictured it in the book. To put things into perspective, in the book that conversation happens after Inej confesses that she’s going to learn how to sail and set off to hunt slavers, right near the end of the first book.
“Purpose”, Kaz said thoughtfully.
I think that sets the tone of the scene. Inej has found her purpose, a goal beyond survival and freedom. When Kaz takes her hand and asks her to stay in Ketterdam with him, we can peer into her internal monologue. It doesn’t matter how much she wants to say yes, she won’t settle for what he is willing to offer. And so throughout the whole conversation, Inej doesn’t hesitate. By no means is she harsh or lashing out or even angry, she has just accepted that she won’t have a relationship with someone who won’t meet her in the middle.
Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”
He’s not even looking at her when she says the words. After the tiny bread crumbs of vulnerability that he just gave her, he can’t even bear to look at her when she expresses her wishes. In fact, throughout the scene Kaz is described in a sharp tone (his voice rough stone, with eyes fierce, the face he wore when he was fighting). Inej is not going to settle for this rough façade he’s built around himself. In her mind, she begs for him to say something so she can believe that the boy who saved her is worth saving as well, but Kaz is at the very beginning of his evolution as a character.
Now, on the show, we obviously can’t know what’s going through Inej’s mind, so it’s on Amita’s performance to show us how difficult this conversation is for Inej, not just for Kaz, how she wishes for him to say anything that will show her she’s wrong, that he is willing to take off his gloves (both physically and emotionally) for her. To me, this makes the whole scene a lot lot more softer in an amazing way, and her speech becomes so raw, natural and realistic. The little hesitancy before touch in “so our lips never touch”, the sighs, the way she finally says the quote with the softest softest softest eyes ever? Perfection. The way she holds still once she’s done, looking into his eyes, waiting for him to say something that will prove her wrong.. and then he just gives a tiny nod and you can see the acceptance in her face but also the slight disappointment.
However, this difference in tone isn’t only influenced by the change in medium. If we take into account the context of the show compared to the book, show-Kaz has started to evolve further compared to book-Kaz during this same conversation. The change is a subtle one, but I think show-Kaz has showed many more of his cards regarding how much he actually cares for Inej, even if it’s in his own emotionally-constipated way. By this point he’s already managed to freed her from her indenture, he’s already sort of tended to her wounds and, right before this conversation, he even confesses that he has been secretly trying to find her brother for her (which are all parallels to Crooked Kingdom scenes). To compare his attitude with his book counterpart in the specific scene, book-Kaz won’t even look at her once he realises she’s kinda rejecting him, but show-Kaz, though he struggles, always end up looking right back at her. He is looking right into her eyes as she states what she wants.
And so she knows that he’s willing to do a lot of things for her, but is he willing to be in a relationship that’s not entirely on his terms?
I think that’s my main difference between the show and the book. In the books it feels like Inej is stating facts (this is what a relationship with you would actually be like, that is not what I want even if I love you) while hoping that he’ll give her a reason to stay. However, in the show it feels more like she’s asking a question (is a relationship with you going to be like this? because I love you but that is not what I want) while knowing that the answer is not going to be the one she wishes.
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Also best thing about Rebirth was that one moment after Tifa plays the piano for Madame M in Costa del Sol, and upon being complimented you can see her have a drawn out internal battle with herself as she struggles to just accept the damn compliment without downplaying herself.
Literally it's like
guy: "You played incredibly! You should be proud of your talent."
Tifa: "No, I mean, I don't think -" *stops herself, looks to the side, thinks to herself for 5 whole seconds, turns back, visibly gritting her teeth as she smiles* "Thank. You."
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