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shadowbriar · 10 months

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James Potter - Call It Fate, Call It Karma

Pairing : James Potter x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 3k Warning : Plenty of curse words. Synopsis : James' world was flipped upside down as the engagement ring now sits on the wrong girl's finger. Notes : Post no 4 for my 1 Year Anniversary Celebration. Don't forget to fill the form here if you'd like to be tagged for my future works. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ James Potter's Masterlist click here. Taglist : @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @sofiacblair @coffeehurricanes @ineedmentalhelp123

James stares at his own reflection, whispering silent prayers as if they were a magic spell to help ground himself, tame the loud beating of his heart and provide the least bit of tranquillity for his troubled mind. It has been days since he’s got a good sleep. The days coming to Remus’ wedding have acted like a ticking time bomb, building anticipation of the apocalypse bound to happen once it explodes.

He wasn’t sure exactly the cause of his consternation. He supposed, wanting to get on your knees and ask your lover for their hand in marriage will surely cause you waves of jitters. The black velvet box in his pocket feels heavier each time he tries to silently reach for it. But could that be it? Could his nervousness to propose to Lily be the sole cause of his distress?

“You’re going to be alright,” James mutters to himself, taking deep breaths between his words “She’s not going to be here.”

A hard slap to his own cheek was done at the realisation of his words. Why would he say that? Why would he even think of her? He has Lily and his mother’s diamond ring to think about. How could she even slip herself in his mind at times like this?

Now James hates to admit it, but the little voice in his heart knew that Remus’ wedding and his plan to propose to Lily was nothing as terrifying as the idea of meeting his Hogwarts’ sweetheart after what seems to be forever. Their abrupt separation before graduation has left scars that James knew would never heal. The kind of marks that will always haunt your nights, making you ponder the unanswered what if scenarios.

The fear of meeting her has always been so grand that James never had the heart to ask Remus if he’s invited her to his wedding. They all have been great friends back in school, it would be more of an appalling fact to know that Remus didn’t invite her, so he remained quiet, letting time to provide him his answer.

“She’s going to be there,” James whispered quietly “And you’re going to be okay with it because she’s no one now. She’s a nobody.”

James nods to himself. The feigned determined expression on his face was fooling no one but it was the only thing he could do for himself. He can’t discuss this with Remus, Remus certainly has a lot on his plate already to prepare for the wedding. He can’t talk about this to Peter or Sirius either because he’s always acted as if he’s completely buried the thought of her though he always wondered if any of his best friends were ever convinced of such an act. And surely, James can’t share this with Lily because what would she think about him then?

The loud banging of his hotel door rudely breaks his train of thoughts. He could tell that the man standing behind the door would be none other than Sirius. There’s no one in this entire universe that is more loud and obnoxious than him.

“Prongs!” Sirius greets once the door is opened for him “Ah, you look grand, mate!”

James forced a smile, letting Sirius to get inside his suite.

“So I’ve got news for you. Good news and bad news. Which do you prefer to hear first?” Sirius asks, rubbing his hands together in an apprehensive manner “Knowing you, I’d go with the good news first. So the good news is, you, me, Remus, and Peter are going to go spend the night at the bar close by and live our life as if we never left that dreary dormitory room back in Hogwarts.”

“Tonight?” James asked “I don’t know mate, I’ve been feeling under the weather lately. I’m afraid I have to sit this one out. I might skip Remus’ wedding tomorrow if I don’t.”

“Nonsense! It’s the groom’s request and you’re one of his groom’s men so you have no other choice but to obliged.”

James rolled his eyes, groaning, “Fine. What’s the bad news, then?”

“Uh, right, the bad news.” Sirius says, now placing an arm around the bespectacled boy in an attempt of consolation “She’s going to join us tonight.”

“Yeah, I’ll definitely sit this one out.” James says as he pushes Sirius’ arm and walks away.

“No, no, no, no! It’s going to be fine. You see, me and Peter have crafted this plan to keep the two of you separate. I’ll be your wingman and Peter will watch over her so the two of you won’t meet unless it's absolutely necessary.” Sirius explains, trying to coax James to give in “You can’t seriously think that we’ll allow you to miss the last night before Remus is married.”

“Yes, but it’s her, Pads!” James argues, running his hand through his hair in desperation “Meeting her would essentially end me, quite literally!”

“No, no it won’t! Me and Peter will be there, remember?” Sirius lures “And you’ll be busy with Lily too, won't you? She’ll tether you to the ground.”

James groans once more, “Lily won’t be here until tomorrow morning. She’s stuck with her sister.”

“Oh,” Sirius grimaced.

James wasn’t sure if such a response was due to the fact that Lily’s sister is a terrible person to be stuck with or that Lily’s absence would cause greater chance of him to plummet back to the darkness. Either way it proved to be a better reason for him to skip this night out.

“Look, I love Remus and I’m sorry that it has to be this way, but I really don’t think I should come.” James says, his hand reaching to the velvet box in his pocket and showing it to Sirius “I can’t afford to make any mistake.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, staring at the box, “You’re planning to propose?”

“Not at Remus’ wedding, no,” James answers “But yeah.”

“To Lily?”

“Well, yeah. Who else?”

Sirius frowns and James wasn’t sure if that was solely caused by his surprise or was there any other underlying reason as to why he wasn’t ecstatic to hear this. James expected him to be as delighted as when Remus announced his engagement. He could clearly remember the expressions plastered on each of his friends’ faces that night. Now such joy seems to be void of Sirius’ face.

“I— We’ll talk more about this later but you need to come with us tonight. You have to!” Sirius says again “I swear on my parents’ name that you won’t talk to her tonight. Like I said, I’ll be your wingman.”

“You have no regards for your parents’ Sirius. That’s not a very convincing swear.”

“Well who else do you want me to swear their name upon? My Death Eater brother?”

“Ex-Death Eater.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Fine, I swear on Regulus’ name that you won’t talk to her tonight. Now will you please hurry and change out of your ugly shirt? Wear something more decent, won’t you?”

—-

It was comforting. The layers of blanket wrapping her body, soft pillows around her head and the warmth it brought to her were something she wished she could keep in a bottle. Waking up in hotel beds has always been something she adores. It reminds her of her own bed back in Hogwarts, familiar and comfortable.

Her eyes were still half opened, trying to adjust to the brightness the sunlight was peeking through the sheer curtain. She must have forgotten to properly close it last night. Hell, she couldn’t even recall how she managed to get back to her hotel room. The last she could remember was meeting Remus and his fiancé before being whisked away by Peter to take shots by the bar.

The rest of the night felt like a complete skip of nothingness. She hoped that whatever happened last night wouldn’t cause Remus any trouble or embarrassment for herself. She does have the tendency to cause problems whenever she’s taken one too many drinks.

Her brows were knitted when a foreign object was felt as she rubbed her eyes. She stares at the solitaire ring now sitting beautifully on her left ring finger. It was gleaming under the limited light of the room. Whose ring was this?

“Good morning,” She heard a man’s voice greet her.

The sound was very pleasant to her ear. Like a warm cosy home you haven’t visited in a while but managed to return to after a while. It fills her heart with contentment, joy, and tranquillity. As if her heart was ready to implode from the satisfactory feeling. But the more her senses awake, the more consciousness she gained, she recognises whose voice this beautiful sound belongs to.

“Potter?!” She screams, pushing him who had his arms around her waist out of the bed “What are you doing in my room?!”

“I— What?!” James woke up from the scream, frantic to find the situation he’s in “What the— What’s going on?! I thought you were Lily!”

“I should be asking you that question! What are you doing in my room?!”

James grabs his glasses that were sitting by the bedside table, assessing the suite with half sleepy eyes, “This is my room! Those are my coat and shoes by the door, see?”

“I— Then what the hell am I doing here?!”

“I don’t know! You’re the one trespassing!”

“I did no such thing! I was at the bar with Peter and then— I just— What?!”

Her chest was heaving in panic. Her eyes crazed, looking around the suite to understand the setting better. She wasn’t supposed to be in this room. She wasn’t supposed to be in James Potter’s room. Hell, she wasn’t even supposed to meet him. She’s sworn to steer clear of his presence and it was the only condition she gave to Remus before agreeing to come to his wedding, that she would be placed as furthest as possible from him. So how is it that she’s finding herself on his bed right now?

“What is that?” James asked, pointing at the ring on her finger “Why do you have my mother’s ring on you?”

“I don’t fucking know, Potter. It found itself sitting there the moment I opened my eyes.” She spat, trying to take the ring off of her but proved to have such an action failing “What the hell?”

“Take it off!”

“I’m trying!” She yells “It won’t come off!”

“I— Shit, why do I have this on me too?” James questions as he notices a matching ring on his finger “Where was this from?”

“You’re asking me? Do I look like I know anything about rings?!” She says irritatedly, still trying to get the ring off of her “I can’t take this off unless we cut my finger.”

“Well, that’s an idea.”

She glares at him, not saying a word.

“This is bad.” James mutters as he begins to pace, feeling the anxiety to sink in “That was supposed to be on Lily’s finger, not yours!”

“Lily? Lily Evans?”

“Which other Lily do you know?”

“You’re planning to propose to Lily?” She asks, looking baffled now “How did you even manage to date her? She’s way beyond your league.”

James blinks, offended by her comment, “Mind you, I am in the same league as her. We’ve been happily together for years now.”

“Wait, you’re planning to propose to her at Remus’ wedding?” She questions “Talk about stealing your best friend’s thunder.”

“I— No, I wasn’t planning to propose to her today, okay! I only have the ring with me as an anchor so can you please take it off and return it before I’m losing my last strands of sanity.”

“It’s not coming off, I told you!”

James groans in despair, running his hand through his hair. He could feel his pillars crumbling down. That demon is finally claiming his soul once more. He has to force himself to walk further from the bed, pacing around the empty space so he could stop himself from staring at her. Even with such effort to create distance between them, James knows that he couldn’t fool himself. The crazy beating of his heart when he saw her have done more damage than he could ever afford to face.

Then suddenly, a loud banging on the door was heard. James turned his eyes to see her, seeing that panic on her face at the demanding sound. Sirius was persistent with his knocking.

“Don’t open it,” She warns “Don’t let anyone in. We can’t talk to anyone until we figure out what happened to us.”

“Nothing happened between us.” James says, not wanting to yield to reality just yet “You were just drunk and you mistakenly thought that my suite was yours.”

“Oh, I was drunk? How about you, do you remember anything then?” She challenges, pointing to the engagement ring on her finger “Have any clue as to why this ring of yours is on my finger?”

“I— Fuck!” James cruses, rubbing the bridge of his nose to calm himself “I have to open the door. Sirius won’t stop knocking unless I do.”

“Sirius’ knocking is the least of our troubles. What we need to do now is to trace down what happened to us last night. I refuse to go out of this door wearing this stupid ring. What am I to say if others ask?!”

“Well, I can’t remember shit from last night so we’ll only be running in circles, Sweetheart.” James retorts “And mind you, it’s not a stupid ring. It’s my mother’s.”

Her expression softens a little. Memories of how sweet and loving Euphemia Potter was came rushing in like a tidal wave. James’ mother has always been so fond of her, treating her as if she was her own daughter. She would always remember how his mother would compliment them two, saying that they remind her of how in love she was with James’ father back in the day. Now such memories only do more harm than good for her sanity.

Taking her silence as staleness in their argument, James walks himself to the door. His steps were wide and angry. Irritated by the persisting banging done by Sirius, his lack of understanding of the trouble he finds himself in, and the crazy beating of his heart from being in her presence.

“What?!” James spat at Sirius as he opened the door, barely so that Sirius won’t be able to peek inside.

“I— Geez mate, woke up on the wrong side of the bed?” Sirius asked with a raised brow “I was just worried you’ll miss the wedding. You disappeared last night, I thought something happened.”

Something did happen, James thought, but found himself shaking his head instead, “No, nothing happened. I was just about to take a shower and get ready. Thanks for checking up on me.”

Sirius nods, unimpressed by his words but takes it in anyway. He opens his mouth before closing it once again. Looking as if he has something to ask but decides to not to. Whatever that question might be, James was glad that it was never uttered. He has plenty on his plate already at the moment.

“Right,” Sirius says instead “I’ll see you at the venue, then.”

James nods, closing the door as Sirius turns his heels away.

He let out a relieved sigh once the clicking sound of the door was heard. James closes his eyes before turning to see her again. She was still on his bed, buried under the many blankets and pillows around her. If this wasn’t reality, James would’ve enjoyed such sight and count this as his family friendly wet dream.

“Who was it?”

“Sirius,” James answered “He wanted to check up on me. Said I disappeared last night. I didn’t tell him anything, don’t worry.”

She nodded, “So what are we to do now?”

“I don’t know.” James says, defeated that he has no proper answer to give her “I— Lily and I were supposed to meet at the venue. She doesn’t know that I was planning to propose. I guess I can just bullshit my way and say that this is just a dress ring and it’s stuck on me for the moment.”

“Alright,” She bobs her head in understanding “Then what about me? What am I to tell people? Cause people will ask.”

“Well, maybe you can just lie and say that you recently got engaged? At least until we can figure out a way to get that ring out of your finger.”

“But I don’t have a partner. If I do and I just recently got engaged, shouldn’t my fiancé be my plus one? People will ask more questions about his wherebeing.”

“Well, do you have any better excuse? Fire away, I’m open for suggestions.”

She rolls her eyes, finding his sarcastic response to be the very least helpful, “Fine, I’ll do that.”

James watches as she begins to collect her purse and jacket that was scattered on the carpeted floor. He tries to bite down the slight satisfaction of hearing that she was single. He knew that it was wrong to feel this way and it has been years since they met, surely she’s dated other people after their separation, but to know that she wasn’t bound with anyone the moment they had their reunion sparked something inside him. Something that he knew was so sinful that he would never be able to atone.

“Can you check if the hallway is clear? I don’t want to meet anyone as I come out of your door.”

James nods, peeking out of the empty hall before turning back to her with a nod.

“Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, don’t even breathe my way at the venue.” She said to him, finger firmly pointing at him in a threatening manner “I will hex you to death right on the spot if you do.”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Don’t flatter yourself.”

She gave him a glare one last time before leaving his suite. James could finally let out the breath he unconsciously held once he was left alone. He walks back to his bed, sitting on it and hating the fact that her perfume lingers on its cover. Now he wouldn’t be able to shake the sweet scent off of his mind, even if he was to obliviate himself to it. But then again, what is a wedding without some drama, right?

#james potter #james potter imagine #james potter imagines #james potter scenario #james potter scenarios #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter angst #james potter fluff #james potter oneshot #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter x oc #james potter x y/n

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saintsenara · 2 months

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Dipping my toes into your unhinged ship asks with rather tame options: James/Remus, James/Sirius/Severus triad, James/Peter. Oooh and I think your answer to this will really tickle me - Voldemort/Remus.

In that vein: Voldemort/Lyall Lupin and Severus/Lyall Lupin.

thank you very much for the ask, pal! are these tame? not if i have anything to do with it...

remus lupin/james potter

answered here.

sirius black/james potter/severus snape

i actually really back this - both as a toxic triad and as marginally more functioning one - because each of the three is connected to the others in a distinct but overlapping way.

sirius and james have their rampant codependence - but it's a codependence in which james' life experience [above all his happy home life] makes his mutual entwining with sirius much less desperate and needy. he needs to be with sirius constantly because he's his best friend, sirus needs him because he'll forget how to breathe otherwise.

but sirius also has a mutual obsession with snape - which gives him an outlet for his feelings for james in the direction of someone who has a very similar experience of seeing the world.

and, if snape and sirius are rivals [homoerotic], then snape and james are rivals [rivals], which adds masculine flavour.

hot.

peter pettigrew/james potter

answered here.

remus lupin/lord voldemort

my controversial opinion is that this is - in fact - the most plausible pairing for voldemort with one of the four marauders.

one of the things that's really striking about voldemort - and, in particular, how the series, in its defence of the wizarding status quo ends up unintentionally making him look like quite an admirable political radical - is that he's the only political figure we encounter in canon who actually integrates non-human magical creatures into his worldview, to an extent that - as ted tonks says to griphook in deathly hallows - the majority of britain's goblins, centaurs, and werewolves are known to support him.

i think this is really interesting - especially how voldemort squares it with the death eaters who think his aim is pureblood oligarchy - and i also think it would allow a really interesting study of the struggle lupin [king of self-loathing] must feel between his gratitude to the "civilising" experience he's been granted by dumbledore and his desire to keep that mask in place and his conviction that he is a primal, savage beast who can't be restrained, especially if we assume this is taking place in the first war, when the wolfsbane potion hadn't been invented.

i think lupin would actually be fairly easily seduced by voldemort - encountering him as a spy in e.g. greyback's pack - dropping lots of pretty words about how werewolves will be allowed to live as their true selves, no more hiding, under his regime. and i also think that lupin's self-loathing would lead him to stay when it became apparent that voldemort was chatting shit, and that he has exactly the same contempt for werewolves [i.e. being happy to let greyback do his dirty work but refusing to let him take the dark mark] as everyone else.

[plus, lupin's irrelevance in the secret keeper plan must be read as an indication that sirius - and possibly james - were convinced that he was the death eater spy, so the other three would back it.]

lyall lupin/lord voldemort

they can be presumed to be reasonably similar ages, so i actually back this in the "it's 1966 and lyall's vibing in the office when a familiar - tom what the fuck has happened to your face?" way.

lyall lupin/severus snape

how dare you suggest snape has daddy issues.

now, if you'll excuse him, he has to go and fall to his knees before either dumbledore or voldemort.

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #unhinged and deranged ships

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witchthewriter · 11 months

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𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒓 @moonie14.

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Fernando by ABBA

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Everyone Can See It But You Two

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

The fact that you love romance. It means he can be as soppy with you as he wants to be and you don't dismiss it or see it as weak. You think it makes him even more manly. He'd definitely be a brilliant boyfriend because of it. Also - he would absolutely read romance books.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Luna! You couldn't stand how people spoke about her, so she stuck by you ever since you started calling people out on it. You hated bullying and bullies. Now you have an airy, dreamy friend who says the most random things but somehow always knows how to make you smile.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix of Luna, Neville and young Remus. I think you have a hidden side to you that will develop over time. It's confidence, or boldness that you've tucked away so you can fit in. But baby say what you mean and say it with your whole chest! You're the only you in the world, so be as true to yourself as you can be!

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

When given the option to bring a new pet to Hogwarts, you chose an owl! Well...she kinda chose you. One night you heard this pecking from outside your window - scared as can be, you crouched down below the window and peeked through; only to find the most cutest owl you had ever seen!

𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

One More Hour by Tame Impala

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Long Distance Relationship

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Seth loves that your personalities are practically the same. You're two sides of the same coin - similar and yet very different. Where he doesn't have a lot of self-awareness, you do. And he appreciates when you tell him if he's done something wrong. But honestly, Seth always does things with good intentions, so when is he ever wrong...

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Emmett and Rosalie, which surprised many people. At times, others rumoured you were a throuple. But you weren't interested in any of the Cullens romantically at all. In fact, Edward was really surprised when he read your mind to find that out. He was kinda offended ... but your heart belongs to Seth. You're mates.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

Alice! And Bella, Seth and Angela. You're very multidimensional, so it's hard to narrow it down. You have a calm nature about you, but also curious and intelligent. You have a lot of passion when it comes to certain topics as well.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

Well, Twilight is also a magical world. So, I went with something interesting...

This is your dog, who you can ... telepathically connect to. And somehow, you can communicate to Seth, through her as well.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐙𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

My Way Of Life by Frank Sinatra

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Love At First Sight

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your kindness but ability to speak up when it is needed. Newt wouldn't be able to be with someone who lets things go by without standing up for those who need it.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Gally, I think he would take a liking to you in all the platonic sense. He just admires you a lot and thinks you're really cool. He would be surprised by some of your actions, which would make him even more impressed.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix between Newt, Frypan and Chuck. Loveable, quiet, and always has good intentions. You don't want to see people get hurt.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

You found this gorgeous bun all by himself and you just ... you couldn't leave him by himself. Now you have a lil pouch where you carry him because you're on the run a lot.

#pair ups #match ups

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shipsgaysfordays · 1 year

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i need to return the favor; what are some of your favorite headcanons? you have a very interesting mind, would love to know what’s going on in there

oh my deer, i truly do not believe you want to know all of the insanity of branches, wires, paint, and ideas that are all jumbled up in my brain

but i will provide you with some of my favorite headcannons, though tbh a lot of them are just me kinning too close to the sun via breaking up aspects of myself like pieces of stained glass and pushing/stabbing these pieces into characters

genderfluid sirius is my baby, she helped me to come into my own, he's my pride and joy, zey are everything to me. that sense of wanting to be everything and nothing, ever-changing in how they present themself, and that zeir friends accept it

plus size lily is up there too, i've been looking more into this headcannon lately and i just love it. especially because i've seen the idea thrown around that lily firstly had been rejecting james because she thought he was joking and could never actually like her because of her weight and it's tragic and i love it. that may or may not be because someone did the same thing to me years ago

aromantic james potter is one of the few were i'm not taking a piece of myself, i just find it interesting for him (however, i know i'm weird in thinking this since 2 of the most popular ships in this fandom include james). but just the idea that james loves his friends so much and he has such an admiration for lily that it has to be romantic, right? and i mean it's what everyone expects, they're destined to be together. it's what his friends and his parents expect. it's clearly the path he's meant to go on. but he just doesn't feel that way. still he pretends and conforms because what else is there for him to do? so him and lily are stuck in a marriage that doesn't really work because neither of them feel that way for each other (lily's a lesbian and in love with mary), but both of them get along, both of them love harry.

DADDY ISSUES REMUS, i've been ever so subtly throwing this idea out time and again this past week for absolutely no reason at all. but it's like, remus spends a lot of his time trying to control his temper, he tames himself and masks almost constantly because if he fucks up and gets himself into trouble it's going to be terrible for him because of him being a wolf. and so he feels he can't be angry, ever, yet in that he's constantly enraged. at who? everyone, no one, his dad, himself. he feels so much anger towards his dad and there is a shred of guilt in lyall, yes, but still their relationship is like walking on eggshells constantly because they don't know how to talk to each other. they both sort of resent each other. they're both constantly angry. they both see the world in such opposite views, to the point where remus doesn't express his thoughts or feelings or himself as a whole in front of his dad. and i can go on but it's probably getting to be a bit too much in the sad zone by this point

sirius is a really good artist and will sketch their friends in class when he's not paying attention (she's also sketched minnie a few times which his professor is honored by, but she wishes they would focus on the lecture at hand)

remus, lily, and reg have a book club and are about to read lotr

peter is good at baking

mary keeps a journal and is incredibly protective over it, but lily has sneaked a look in it before whenever mary wasn't around

i honestly think i may be doing a bit too much so i'll stop here

#shippy shitposting #romanticeulogizingelegies<3 #marauders headcanon #sirius black #lily evans #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #mary macdonald #wolfstar #marylily #it took me way too long to respond--sorry about that

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findmeaplaceinnewyorkcity · 1 year

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So, Universal has released a new Zappa album. This is a bunch of outtakes and sessions centered around Zappa's Waka Jawaka and Grand Wazoo big band sessions. The albums themselves were great, but this 4 hour love feast is even better, mainly because it is raw and edgy. Ditties include outtakes, a George Duke Demo and a live gig.

Where can I even begin?

First, Zappa was known to record material, then years later re-record entire parts. My guess was that his experimentalism sometimes got the best of him and at times he probably conceded that he didn't pull the right stuff out of the genius plebeians under his tutelage. What you hear on the mixed down Waka and Wazoo sessions is what happened when Zappa tamed it down, but this album, even with the clams and imperfections is as bizarre as it is funny, grooving and engaging.

All in all, I'm still absorbing the album. In addition, I want to buy the box set because there are probably a lot of interesting notes to read explaining lot's of back story, but let me give you a run down.

*I don't have the liners or personnel info, but let me do a blindfold test. If you've heard the album, please feel free to pipe in.

Your Mouth <- This version has raw crazy ass banter that didn't make the album. It's hilarious.

Big Swifty <- Because its a thoroughly composed piece, it's very interesting to compare the alternate mixes and takes to the verison on the album. Thanks to Apple Music, that's easy to do. There's a tight version of this on Zappa/Mothers: The Roxy Performances.

Minimal Art <- Aynsley Dunbar's drumming is over the top. In fact, you might even describe the entire box set at the Aynsley Dubnar show, especially in regards to the mix. This tune, if you're familiar with it is based on a repetitive bass motif. The band jams out Miles Davis style, and boy is it trippy.

Blessed Relief <- more trippy spacious Jazz with an element of Burt Bacharach on acid. I'm serious. Anyone disagree? It's mellow, yet off center.

Think It Over <- Really funky, but has this weird guy humming on top. Band really gets to jam out, and evolves (or devolves depending upon how you look at it) into some crazy Zappa style meshegas.

For Calvin <- More Zappa style off center avant garde Jazz from hell.

Waka/Jawaka <- This is one you just have to close your eyes and concentrate on. I'll leave it at that.

Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus <- a pastiche of motifs Kinda reminds me of the shape of things that would come circa "One Size Fits All".

Eat That Question <- Duke gets to bug out on keyboards. It's funky, it's cooking.. Zappa's band jamming out and cutting loose at its best.

Big Swifty <- an alternative mix. This song is a pastiche of thoroughly composed motifs that you have to pay close attention to. You're then taken to Zappa style fusion heaven.

For Calvin <- another version of this tune that's definitely a throwback to the Zappa's Mothers era.

It Just Might Be A One-Shot <- A bit of Captain Beefheart influence... very weird vocals includes a part sung with a Scandinavian accent. In eventually settles into a really cool Southern rock type jam, complete with the twangy guitar.

Waka/Jawaka <- tight horn driven zappa type Jazz from hell meets bebop thang. Great soloing. Love the bass.

Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus <- ***

Eat That Question <-- again, a bit of Jazzy keyboard heaven with a fuzzy psychedelic rock edge.

The next 7 tracks are a George Duke Demo. Sounds like a lot of Blackbyrds/Roy Ayers influenced crossover Jazz of the era, only with a weird Zappa/Duke influence. The session is a bit messy at times, but could have potentially been a killer release with a little cleaning up. Includes a killer version of Uncle Remus making you wonder if Duke was really the psychedelic Billy Preston.

LOVE was pre-released before the album dropped. Dunbar, who is otherwise the hero of this entire box set sounds like a somewhat messy or high version of Steve Gadd. You can tell he's sort of trying to find his groove with Duke. Getting to the Alphonse Mouzon thing. Maybe the album was recorded with intention of release, but that's what happened. Zappa thought it was too sloppy?

Psychosomatic Dunk is more typical of the pop/fusion/Jazz of the era... Final version of LOVE has the drummer a bit "tighter" and in the groove.

Next, the album goes to a bunch of live tracks. It includes Approximate, which definitely foreshadows stuff the Art Ensemble of Chicago would be known for. And on to the Winterland Ballroom Concert. The sound quality isn't quite up to par with the rest of the album (heck, it's live) but it is still worth it. Tunes range from hot cooking "free Jazz" type stuff and a really nice surprise: A horn fused big band version of Montana(!) Maybe the solos aren't as funky as the billion other versions in his catalogue, yet still, it's a really interesting version. Cosmik Debris is another Zappa staple that gets the big band treatment, and it is definitely INTERESTING to say the least. The horn arrangements on these two tunes sound more like Buddy Rich than Zappa, but maybe that's what makes it interesting.

Alas, the album ends with a real treat. An extended jam on the the quintessential Zappa anthem CHUNGA'S REVENGE. The band jams out similar to the way the used to on some of the better versions of KING KONG. We're talking an extended 18 minute Jam that puts a certain Iron Butterfly jam to shame. Zappa's solo is also quite interesting. I love the way the drums and bass are supporting him and how laid back, but funky the band is during the trumpet solo. As the jam evolves the rhythm section just heats up more and more. You can really feel and hear them listening to eat other. At the same time, the sound kinda reminds me of his Broadway The Hard Way Band with the Fowler Brothers (that I was lucky to see when I was 18!)

All in all, a great deal of the tunes on this album provide opportunity for Zappa and his band to cut loose the way only Zappa could. I don't think many people call Zappa "Jam Band" music (the term wasn't popular then), but that's pretty much what they're doing. Jamming their butts off. I'll add that the original Waka and Wazoo sessions were recorded almost 50 years ago. I initially listened in my teens, and here we are years after his death experiencing the music when the sessions could have potentially been lost in time. Boy do I feel happy and privileged.

OK... that's my read. What's your call?

#Zappa #Frank Zappa

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fvckyouimaprophet · 11 months

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2, 5, 13 for the choose violence ask game 💖

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

not the top/bottom discourse 😂

i’m not sure if i have a fave at the moment, but i’ll go with sirius. there is so much existing discourse about who tops, who is taller, who is whatever, so, let’s hop in and join the swarm.

well, first of all, sirius is a scorpio, so— (kidding, kidding).

this is so hard because the discourse is so stupid, but okay okay i brought this upon myself.

sirius doesn’t bottom because he internalized the shitty politics of “power dynamics” associated with top/bottom discourse when he was first sexually curious and is a dramatic fucker, so his takeaway was, “i will never bottom because i will always be the one in control/with all the power.”

a lot of the people he hooks up with are like, “oh, okay, sure,” or want to be topped (sirius makes it known), so it becomes a point of pride for him. he’ll casually drop it in conversation, “well, i’ve never bottomed, so i wouldn’t know.”

remus thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen and pokes fun of sirius’s fragile ego and how very heterosexual of you to view sex this way. but sirius is prideful, and that only makes him cling to it harder.

5. worst discord server and why

i don’t mean this in a “i’m too scared to share” or tame way, but i haven’t been a part of any shitty discord servers. which is probably because i’m only really active on four, and two of which recommended by people on one of the other servers (and another which i co-started and has maybe 15 members).

i have heard stories, but discord overwhelms me, so i have kept it tight. and i lean more onto the older side of fandom discords, so i steer clear of spaces that have a lot of minors or people who are significantly younger than me.

shitty rps, however, i have stories. i got kicked out of a teen wolf rp because of shipping shenanigans. and i have been harassed on glee rps (whom amongst us who was a part of those hasn’t), but i don’t remember the names, and they’re all long deactivated, so i don’t think it’d be juicy.

funny story about glee rp culture, though. there was a blog where people could submit shoutouts to characters, ships, and specific rp servers. sounds like a good idea, but a loooot of drama started because anonymous people would share things like “i hope [this ship] gets back together. i hate [current ship].” or they’d praise a handful of characters in one server, but others would get ignored, and people would quit because they’d feel under-appreciated. oh glee, you really were a swirling vortex of drama.

13. worst blorboficiation

if we’re talking fandom: i am genuinely annoying about this in one of the discord servers, but the blorbofication/baby girl-ifying of certain slytherin marauders-era characters.

i genuinely don’t care if you ship them. i wrote lesbian rosekiller, and i enjoyed the idea of them just being genuinely unhinged and used it to practice writing body horror.

but this culture of “oh they’re so soft” where they all get turned into a gang of hot topic queers who feel like the embodiment of the uwu face has me ???? and then people will act like it’s canon. like anyone who thinks that barty crouch jr wasn’t living out “love simon” is lying to themself.

i get that this has happened since the dawn of time (esp with white male characters). but the characters who get it usually are meant to be torn in some way, are redeemed, or theoretically have the potential to be redeemed.

i just genuinely wish people would acknowledge that it’s wildly ooc. there’s nothing wrong with that! i think it can be really freeing. “this is basically original fiction, but i’m using familiar character names because it makes me feel more comfortable/creative, and i have a built-in audience for my work” is a valid approach to fanfic!

if we’re talking about me: i watch riverdale, and so i’m going with cheryl blossom.

has she murdered an uncle (and pretended to feed him to other members of the family to blackmail them), played doll with her brother’s dead corpse, and tried to surprise her ex by being like, “let’s co-parent your child. i built them a room in my mansion”? absolutely.

but i love how crazy she is. and you can rip her and toni’s batshit toxic relationship out of my cold, dead hands.

"i'm not the same girl who burned down thornhill and cut off [my mom’s] oxygen" "sure you are" 10/10, flawless.

(also janice from the sopranos)

✨send me asks from the choose violence game✨

#ask #anonymous #long post #this is fun!! if you're reading this and debating sending some in please do

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benjamin-ovich · 2 years

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I think the amount of people who ship Moonchaser are pretty tiny and usually they’re multi-shippers but that just all leads back to how I am not sure when and why this fandom decided that Wolfstar was the one true only pairing they could ever see Remus and Sirius in, like unimpeachable, unbreakable soulmates when we are basing this on like… one hug. And I do think that’s how Jegulus got popular lmao and why people work overtime to diminish James and Sirius’s bond.

i think maybe wolfstar is popular because of the fact that sirius and remus are so different to each other, which serves as a good source of chemistry in some people's eyes. idk lol

personally tho the reason i love prongsfoot is because of their similarities to each other, their codependency; this idea of them literally being made for each other and able to understand one another in ways that nobody else can. they have their differences and this is important for their ship dynamic, but for me a lot of their chemistry comes from a place of just... knowing each other, so well. without having to try. complementing each other perfectly. two sides of the exact same coin. the whole twin flames/soulmates thing.

i imagine that something clicked in them the moment they first met, from the very conversation they ever had. something like a lightbulb going off in their head, saying: this is my person. i've found my person.

sirius, who struggles to adequately express his feelings (read: childhood trauma from him being punished whenever he did so at home), must have been so astonished to find someone that he didn't need to express his feelings to. someone who could basically broadcast every thought in his own head without having to ask, because of how similar they are in their the way they think, their personalities and outlooks. finishing each others' sentences, echoing each others' ideas, having entire conversations just by looking at each other across the room.

also one of my most beloved headcanons for this pairing is that sirius loves james for being the first person in the world to show him kindness, to make him feel safe and loved and wanted. to see both his good and bad sides, and still say "you're my best friend in the whole world". i think that must've meant a lot to sirius, given his family background and the kind of people he grew up around. he experiences so much shame over the type of family he's from, it must've left him feeling tainted in some way, and it's like he almost feels the need to hide his darkness from everyone else in an attempt to prove that he's nothing like his family. but not with james, because james knows and accepts him as he is. james understands that sirius can have a dark streak, and is prone to bursts of explosive anger, mood swings, even cruelty. and he loves him anyway, because he knows that that's only one part of all the things that make sirius who he is.

meanwhile i also think that james loves sirius for being the first person to make life feel passionate, sensual, intense. i imagine james grew up extremely pampered and spoiled, and ended up feeling rather dispassionate/bored about his place in the world as a result. everything came to him easily, his youth was never complicated or even all that exciting as a child. and then he meets sirius, with his fits of powerful emotions, his raw and visceral responses to everything, his general volatility - it's like he shows james what it's like to feel real, genuine emotions for the first time ever. like james gets to experience the world in a different way after meeting sirius, vicariously feeling everything so much more intensely, because that's just how sirius experiences emotions. i imagine that led to james feeling so much more alive when he was around sirius than he ever was before. and sirius knows that, and never has to act tame or reserved around his best friend because he knows that would only bore/annoy him

for me, it's the duality of james' and sirius' personalities that make them such a great pairing. the idea that they're the same thing, and only differ in degrees. sort of like love/hate are the same thing, just different in degrees. you can't really tell with absolute certainty where love begins and hate ends. and i don't think either james or sirius can tell where one of them ends and the other begins. their differences are enough to draw them together and keep things interesting, but it's their inherent contiguity that makes them such a perfect match for each other.

#prongsfoot #james x sirius #WOW i just started rambling and couldn't stop #anyway this is the whole basis of my fic so yes i have. a lot of thoughts on what makes james/sirius so perfect for each other #answered

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angelicamerlinbarnes · 3 years

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Severus Snape being an awesome teacher and human being

Au Volant - Elsa & Emilie

He makes sure to let students work on their own when they brew Amortentia. They only have to pass in a list of things they smell and he draws little smiley faces on them because he knows a lot of kids are very insecure about their feelings. (Once a kid passed in a list that just said, I’m sorry Professor but it doesn’t smell like anything, and on their paper Severus drew an ace and aro flag and a time for the student to be at Mcgonogall’s office that weekend for tea, along with a smiley face and an O grade.) (The student was Newt.) (Hailee’s just read, People are gross and if I fall in love with one I want you to kill me, to which Severus responded, Valid, and drew her a picture of a turtle.)

He makes fake batches of Felix Felicis and gives one to every student secretly before their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s so they feel extra confident going into the test but aren’t actually cheating.

He knows his area is Potions, but he teaches defense spells to students who come after class or report bullying anonymously. Severus Snape does not fucking stand for bullying in his classroom or outside of it. If you dare to pick on one of his students, he will burn you so hard with his mere words that you will wish you were dead. Do not fuck with Severus Snape’s kids.

On parent-teacher day, he drinks different batches of Polyjuice Potion to imitate certain students, all of whom hide away in their dorms after drinking a fine batch of invisibility potion. He then follows these select parents around and endures their horrifying, demeaning remarks about their “failure of a child” so his students don’t have to. He makes sure to give these students glowing praises to their parents when it’s his turn to offer feedback (after making up an excuse to go to the bathroom as the student), and takes mental notes of the parents’ most prominent criticisms so he can be sure to compliment those parts of his students during their next assignments (and also just because).

He brews sleeping potions for students he knows stay up all night studying and sometimes slips it into their drinks if they refuse to take it willingly. He then gives them back their (usually almost flawless) tests with the note that if they want a full O they need to sleep more.

He invites kids he knows don’t have many friends to have dinner and lunch and breakfast in his classroom whenever they’d like. He tries to make friends with some of them too, hoping to make their lives a little less lonely than his was.

He keeps an eye out for abusive home situations. He does his best to come up with excuses for those unfortunate students to stay at Hogwarts over breaks or to visit often over the summer. He tries to find them friends that will help them the way James helped Sirius and Regulus, and speaks to Mcgonogall about opening a home for these kids on campus. He does his best to be the parent he knows these kids don’t have, and is open about his own horrid past in hopes of getting some of them to fess up so he can help them better than he can without hearing it explicitly from their mouths.

He uses his Pensieve to collect happy memories of and for his students to reflect on when they need to and they sit in the corner of his classroom. (Among them are his wedding day to James and Lily, the day Harry was born, a couple playdates with the other Marauder children, Sirius and Remus’ wedding day, studying with Remus, pranking James with Sirius, Sirius and James asleep cuddled together with Remus on the couch in ugly Christmas sweaters, his son and many nieces and nephews playing dress-up, reading with Hermione and exploring with Luna and Newt, dancing with Draco (he likes to dance but was always ashamed to do it at the Malfoys), going on long drives with Regulus, the Blacks’ funeral (Regulus and Sirius performed a very gay stripper dance on top of their graves, it was beautiful), and many, many more.) Sometimes he can see his saddest students watching them and smiling, and their sad eyes twinkling make him smile.

He brings in a box of small kittens, puppies, and bunnies one day and lets them wander around the classroom. Some kids start crying because they haven’t felt this loved in years. After an incident with a bad potion and a rainbow puppy, he stops bringing them all out during class, but they’re there on the weekends and whenever a student needs to hug one (or borrow one, much to Mcgonogall’s chagrin).

He works to break down House biases and help students develop inter-House relationships and friendships. He wants every student to be proud of their House and not to treat anyone differently because of theirs. He creates (with Dumbledore, Sirius, and Regulus’ help) an annual House Pride, in which every student dresses up in their House colors and has their nails and skin painted and everyone is smiling and laughing and waving flags with their House emblems in the air. Even the teachers get in on it.

He stresses the importance of friendships, communication, and choices. He urges students not to make his mistakes by treating their friends well, talking about their feelings even if they’re ugly, and making the right choices in life for you and your loved ones, even if those choices are hard. He invites Lily in to talk about this too sometimes.

He sends out his Patronus every night to wander around the school. Often it comes back to him with nothing, but sometimes he can hear a student crying through it. He’ll instruct his doe to sit with the student until he gets there, and then he’ll walk around the castle, pretending to “accidentally” happen upon the crying student. He’ll sit with them until they’ve calmed down and listen if they want to talk and then take them to their dorm, bidding them goodnight and get well soon.

He gives students hugs when they want them. He didn’t want to originally, but Harry would greet him every class with a hug, and then one day Draco came in crying and attached himself to Severus like a sloth, so he patted him on the back and continued to hug him. Not long after, Hermione couldn’t figure out a potion and burst into tears out of frustration, turning and burying herself in his chest. After Luna wrapped her stick arms around his neck for no reason, Severus just accepted his fate and let his students hug him.

A lot of first years get scared in the hallways, since the staircases move and everywhere is incredibly crowded and they are oh so very small. Severus will often hold the hand of the most anxious ones for the first few weeks and walk them to class. Eventually they become more confident with the castle and themselves and stop needing it, but the occasional sixth year will slip their hand into his just because sometimes.

He walks around campus with students sometimes. He can tell when they’re nervous or sad or angry and he takes them on walks around the outskirts of campus and lets them vent. He also teaches them how to throw curses at the Whomping Willow just because (it’s for Remus but nobody’s gonna say it out loud).

He teaches students how to walk dramatically (as he should). He puts on student drag shows in the Great Hall with James’ help (who always kisses him way too enthusiastically because of it) and Dumbledore’s permission (so long as he gets to be the finale). The students work with Sirius on their drag looks and Sirius and Remus both join in the drag show for the opening act. Sirius’ job is to design and create the students’ looks while Remus tells them they look pretty and tames their stage fright. Severus just sits in the audience smirking while Lily screams in delight. (Regulus also shrieks with excitement eventually, though he does usually spend the first half trying to look disinterested.) (Peter’s job is to get the cookies and sweets (and underage alcohol).)

He turns into his snake Animagus form sometimes without warning when his students aren’t looking and just slithers around the classroom scaring the crap out of people. His favorite students are the ones brave enough to pet him. Harry and Newt are the only ones brave enough (and allowed) to wind him around their shoulders. Severus and Harry sometimes have conversations in Parseltongue.

He invents spells to help with dyslexia and other learning disabilities in his spare time. When he’s done with that he plans to try looking into some cures to mental illness. He’s thinking possibly a potion that treats PTSD by replacing traumatic memories with pictures of puppies, unicorns, bunnies, cats, and parrots. What do you think?

He tries hard to come up with solutions and modifications to his lessons for students with ADHD. He often talks to James about what the best steps to take are because James has ADHD. (So does Sirius, but his insecurities are bad enough that he won’t talk about it with anyone but Remus and James.)

He plays the violin sometimes during tests and uses Sonorus to make it echo throughout the classroom. Occasionally he cancels class and just plays until most of his students fall asleep. Those who want to work on extra work can, but he tries to keep their stress and general teenage angst to a minimum. (Though he encourages the emo phase.)

One of the first things he does after the Prank is get to work on a lycanthropy solution for Remus. After a couple years he invents the wolfsbane potion, but it doesn’t quite do the trick. Eventually he manages to figure out the cure, and when Remus finds out he cries so hard he can’t breathe right for days. (Sirius also cries. So does James. And Peter. And Lily and Regulus and Mcgonogall. Seriously, everyone cried and everyone hugged him and Severus tried to get away by transforming into his snake form but toddler Harry just grabbed him and refused to let go, so that didn’t work.) (He also helps Remus become a wolf Animagus when he asks almost a year later.)

He teaches certain kids Occlumency and Legilimency after school. It’s strictly for kids he knows come from abusive homes, whether they’re open about it or not, so they can tell when it’s going to be a bad night and get away or protect themselves. He teaches Occlumency for those who need to hide things from their parents (like Sirius and Regulus used to) and Legilimency to all, just in case. He focuses on stealth and untraceable versions of the craft to earn the kids as much time and protection as he can.

He figures out how to remove the Dark Mark from his own arm after the war. The next person he calls is Regulus, whose he also removes. He writes down the entire process and when the war starts up again, he keeps an eye out for students suddenly wearing long sleeves. He speaks with those he does find and helps them to make the right choice and join the right side of the war, starting with removing that horrid tattoo. (Draco bawls uncontrollably when Severus removes his.)

When they do the lesson on Veritaserum, he’s extra careful to make sure students don’t test it, especially on themselves or their friends. It, along with Amortentia, is the most guarded potion in his stash. The only times he uses it is when a student from an abusive home is too scared to tell him what’s going on, in which case he finds them somewhere private, asks them if they’d be okay with it and if so which teacher they want to be there to ask the questions (usually Remus, Sirius, or himself), and then administers the potion and leaves or begins to ask yes or no questions. It’s helped a lot of kids escape their families.

He tries to ease trepidations about himself early in the school year, since he’s aware he can be intimidating and the rampant stories regarding his time under Voldemort (though entirely as a spy) do not help. His friendships with Remus and Sirius often serve to alleviate students’ fears though, as they tend to tell embarrassing stories about him from their own Hogwarts days that make him seem more human (and make him want to strangle them, but that’s neither here nor there).

Every year, he works with Remus and Lily to arrange Muggleborn Pride. It’s an incredibly popular event with tons of Muggle inventions and artifacts floating through the air over students’ heads. At any time they can reach up and pull one down to study it. Many students dress as their favorite Muggle icons and characters. Because of this, Muggleborn students are more comfortable being who they are than ever before. (Some have even reclaimed the word Mudblood by setting up mud pits during their Pride.) (They also have more Slytherin Muggleborns now than any other time in recorded history.)

He tells Regulus’ story to every class of students, to teach them what true bravery is and how love and family, even if not blood, can change the course of history. Regulus survived his encounter with the Horcruxes and worked to destroy them and eventually Voldemort, but now lives away from the public eye in a secluded part of Muggle London. He and Severus are friends and visit often, and Regulus will occasionally come back to Hogwarts to say hello to his brother and mum (Remus), but for the most part he keeps his life intensely private. He allows his family to tell his story because he wants other kids to know they are not alone and that there is a way out, and that you are not a bad person for things you did in your childhood. Severus does his best to do it justice.

He has incredibly loud arguments with Dumbledore until he finally agrees to implement sex ed as a mandatory class at Hogwarts. Severus works with the other Marauders on the curriculum and they try to include multiple angles and identities in their lesson plan. At first they try to trust Remus with it, but Remus doesn’t go anywhere without Sirius who is less than tactful and Remus himself has some deadpan sarcasm and a lack of shame to rival James Potter’s, so. They try Lily. She can’t stop giggling. Finally they beg Regulus to come back and teach it. He’s surprisingly… perfect for the job. (He steals parenting books from Amir, that’s his secret.)

When James visits, everything becomes chaos for a bit. While he mostly hangs out with Sirius and Remus and causes trouble with them, he certainly seems to enjoy sitting in the back of Severus’ classroom and bothering him during lessons. The only way to get him to leave is to turn into a snake and wind himself around his shoulders, which makes James shriek and sputter and run away (James has always had an irrational fear of snakes; odd that he married one then, innit?). But when James isn’t causing chaos, he’s following Severus around adoringly and grabbing at his hand, whispering jokes in his ear and kissing his cheek. Despite all of the times he’s a pain in the ass, there are always these little moments that remind Severus why he fell in love with him in the first place (entirely unwillingly and with much stubborn pride on both ends, but, well. It is what it is and they got here eventually, so that’s all that matters).

When Lily visits, everything is calm. She reigns all of the Marauders in and forces them to have picnics under the tree where they all used to do homework. She often holds Severus’ hand and dances with him there, turning his insides to useless goo. She’s always full of laughter and fairy bells, and though she makes every student question their priorities and life decisions, she’s a favorite of them all. Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t pull him aside and say, “You’re a lucky, lucky man.” (Or, in James’ case: “Fuck, love, how’d we bloody manage that?” (Severus just shrugs. It’s not like he knows.))

He helps kids with autism feel more like they belong. He also works to educate non-autistic students how to better socialize and respect those who are, and takes extra care to dispel myths about autism and its causes, effects, and characteristics. Lily helps when she can.

Above all, Severus tries to give his students the education he never had. Anything he can provide for them he will. He’s been given a second chance and by Merlin is he going to bloody use it.

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anxiouslyfred · 2 years

Text

Choosing Fur Babies

Summary: Virgil has wanted a pet for a while and with his boyfriend just moving in he's finally decided what to get.

/\/\

Virgil had wanted a pet around the apartment for a while but hadn't been able to decide on what to get. He'd known for years that a smaller pet would be better, if only because he wasn't allowed larger ones like cats or dogs on the lease but could have rodents, reptiles or insects without that restriction. That had still left too many to decide between but with Remus moving in he finally knew what the perfect pet for them would be.

He was going to get them a pet rat, possibly a couple depending on what research and the local pet shop advised. There had been a moment where Virgil had wondered if the wild rats that lived on the park could be tamed, but watching them on an evening walk with Remus had been enough to halt that idea. No matter how much Remus spoke about wanting to just cuddle them and bring them home the creatures looked to happy and free to ever cage by bringing them into their home.

From the google searches Virgil had done he'd already ordered a large cage and a few accessories for it that 3 or 4 rats could comfortably live in and resolved to start with 2 rats, getting another only if he was certain they'd be able to safely introduce it.

Remus still hadn't been told about his idea but he had made a few comments about Virgil needing a potion for him to fit in the cage if it was for him.

“If that's your thing I might get you a lead and a cushion, but we're never caging you or any other human beings.” Virgil shook his head, setting the cage down on the table before turning to check the different rooms of the apartment. He'd already decided keeping them in either bedroom was a bad idea given the nocturnal tendencies of rats. Their sensitivity to light probably also made the living room a bad idea given the flashing lights games and films could have which both men were prone to playing late into the night.

“Are we getting pets then? Or have you finally decided to catch the borrower stealing your left socks?” Remus trailed after him asking, tilting his head when Virgil leant out the window to check the direction of light. “I don't think borrowers care what direction rooms face, but north-west like this one is probably the best if you ask me.”

That made Virgil pause, mentally tracking where the windows of his apartment looked out on and silently thankful that there were windows on 3 sides. They were stood in his office currently and the only other room with windows facing the same way was the bathroom. If it did face north-west then that would make the likelihood of direct sunlight limited, especially if the rats cage was in one corner on the wall with the window, plus it would be some company when he was working. He could even take the rats out for exercise when he needed a break.

“Are you plotting to imprison effigies of work colleagues when they annoy you?” Remus asked, moving to help balance the cage as soon as Virgil left to room to fetch it through.

“Not quite, but I want this to be a surprise for you.” He pouted, already certain his plans had been guessed but hoping Remus would at least let him try with the rest of the surprise.

He booped his nose as soon as the cage was set down on top of the bureau. “Of course as long as I get that lead and cushion too.”

Virgil shook his head. Of course the kink things would be required for Remus to go along with the surprise. From what he'd heard of his boyfriend's teenage years a lot of 'surprises' had been things Remus hadn't wanted so he took to trying to uncover them early and pushing whomever learnt he knew first to get him something he actually wanted in order to act surprised. At least there wasn't anything to give way which type of creature would be living in the cage.

That weekend he went to the pet shop, finally ready to purchase the rats and the final supplies including more climbing additions and hiding spots for the cage. It had already been filled with nesting and bedding materials, and had a board added behind it with Virgil's estimated schedule for cleaning and refilling food and water. He'd fine tune that over the next few weeks.

Remus was out for the day as well. He'd gone off with Janus saying something about a protest he was going to call out and cause issues for the undercover police at. Virgil already knew the method having gone with them before but hadn't been asked this time.

“Hello, Welcome to Creature's Comforts. How can we help you today?” A shop assistant greeted Virgil as he entered, clearly ready to be ignored but smiling when he glanced over towards the animal enclosures.

“I'd like a couple of pet rats please. If – if you think this enclosure is suitable for them?” Virgil quickly got up the photo he'd taken of the set up cage on his phone, wanting to check with someone hopefully more knowledgable about their care before buying them.

She looked at the image, zooming in for a moment before nodding. “It looks good, although I'd recommend having a few more shelters and tunnels on the shelves for them. Are you a first time owner?”

“I am. They're a bit of a surprise for my boyfriend, but I'll be looking after them mostly.” Virgil nodded, uncertain as ever over how much Remus would help with the pets. “I was going to pick up a few more shelters and their food while I'm here to, if you can suggest the one type they should have?”

“Come and meet our rats then. I'd suggest just having the 2 rats if it's your first time looking after them.” She led them through the store, pausing for Virgil to grab a basket for the other things he wanted.

…

Virgil had immediately released the rats into their new cage as soon as he got home. He didn't want to leave them in the travel box any longer than necessary even if that meant being careful adding the extra shelters and toys in as the rats explored their new home.

He was still doing this when he heard the door unlocked and Remus cried out, “Still nothing to arrest me for!”

“Glad to hear it. Want to come tell me all about it?” Virgil replied, closing the cage ready for the bounding thumps as Remus dashed down the hall.

It fell silent the minute Remus saw where he was sat and precisely the creatures now calling the cage home. “Fur babies?” He blinked, one eye scrunching up first so it was almost squinting before his eyes shut.

“Yes, I know you love them soo..” Virgil agreed, trying to get more of a reaction.

“Actual fur babies? Multiple fur babies?” There was more joy in Remus's voice now, but it remained hushed, possibly reverent.

Virgil nodded again. “Of course, actual fur babies for my actual boyfriend.”

“I thought maybe a hamster or gerbil or something, but you got me actual fur babies.” Remus fell to his knees before crawling closer, eyes never leaving the rats but switching between the two.

“Why would I get a fake fur baby when I could get actual fur babies for you?” Virgil hated to ask, but the level of joy and surprise made it seem like Remus had hoped for this before and been disappointed.

Remus shrugged, hands going to the gate in the cage. “People don't like these lovely fur babies. Always said I should be happy with any rodent, but these fur babies are my favourites.” He didn't grab the rat easiest to reach, rather place his hand close to her to be sniffed and walked on if she chose.

“I love you and your love for rats was the thing to finally make me decide what pet would bring a bit more life to this apartment.” Virgil gently said, keeping watch as the rat was soon scurrying up Remus's arm to climb over him. He wouldn't let either of their pets escape on their first day home.

Remus beamed over at him, hands moving with the rat to always give her somewhere more to climb while remaining on him. “Love you too.”

#dukexiety #virgil sanders #remus sanders #fluff #pet rats

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remuscore · 3 years

Text

Decisions, Decisions

I am hurting everyone around me with subtext and knowledge of what happens in the future for these two. But still enjoy cute baby Roman :)

Warnings: Talk of pregnancy, implied child abuse, mention of infant death. It's pretty tame for the most part but send an ask if you need anything else added.

_____________

Remus focuses on breathing, keeping his chest from rising up and down too fast as to not disturb the tiny little thing in his arms. He leaned against his car, bouncing and struggling to get his mind to understand the events that had come to pass by him so fast.

Audri told him she was pregnant and was not going to be keeping the kid. Remus— the overwhelming stupid Remus― said he wanted it. She had agreed to carry the baby, but she refused to be a part of the kid’s life. No matter how much Remus begged that she at least keep in contact, she said she wanted nothing to do with them. Either of them. Which was unbelievably harsh, but Remus couldn't blame her. Because of him, she had had any unplanned pregnancy and had to take time off school because of it. She was a smart girl so this ruined her education for awhile.

And while Remus was getting everything from when he was a baby and getting everything all set up in his room, his parents had found out and were... less than happy. A big fight ended with a chunk of Remus’ hair ripped out of his head and his car filled with baby things. He didn’t even get a chance to grab his own stuff. Not even his backpack. He had to go to the last month of school in the same clothes and with nothing to do his work. Luckily enough, the locker room had rental clothes and a shower and his teachers let him use some extra materials they had. He didn't tell anyone what happened.

On the last few days of school, Remus had stared at the doors to the school early in the morning, wondering if he should still try taking the kid in. If he called up Audri and said he couldn’t, then she could find the kid a real family. Real parents that were stable enough to actually raise them right. Then, Remus would be allowed back home. He wouldn’t be close to dropping out next year. He would still have a chance to have a real life and be a real young adult and get to have kids at an acceptable age later when he had money and a place to live.

Something in him said no. He didn’t want to put any more worry on Audri. He decided he was going to pretend to still want to keep the kid, but then give them over to a person that could actually give them a good home. This was his fault anyways, might as well take the responsibility of making sure the baby is safe.

But standing here now, close to midnight with a very small and new born baby boy in his arms, staring at the hospital just a parking lot in front of him, Remus couldn’t make his legs move.

He was just so small.

“Nine pounds and six ounces,” Remus whispered. He didn’t know why he kept repeating what Audri had told him. He's been saying it like a mantra ever since she handed him over. “Nine pounds, six ounces, perfectly healthy and happy. Nine pounds, six ounces.”

Every breath felt so heavy and painful and he prayed that his― that the baby didn’t mind the fast beating of his heart. Why was this so terrifying? Remus has never been this scared before and it was all over a baby.

Whatever choice he made right now sealed the fate of his entire future. He was responsible for not only his life, but someone who couldn’t even lift their head yet. He has never been responsible for anything larger than a rat before in his life and that rat ended up dying because it went missing from it's cage and the feral cat that lived in their garage killed it. He shouldn’t be in charge of a baby.

“Fuck, what should I do?” Remus gasped. He pulled the baby closer to him, holding the back of his head and feeling the small patch of hair on his head. He was starting to panic and that was never good. Can babies read your vibes? Can the baby feel him panicking? “Fuck― fuck. What should I do?”

“Eli would know what to do,” Remus adjusted the baby so that they were chest to chest and his tiny head was on his shoulder. He squirmed and let out a few little whines as Remus slid down onto the wet asphalt under his tires. The bundle in his arms stopped squirming when Remus bounced him again. “Eli’s wife just got pregnant. He's been reading all these baby books and it's barely even a bump yet. I beat him to it.”

He laughed and leaned the baby away to look at him. He was practically falling asleep right here and now. His little pink lips covered in drool and his skin was starting to flake and dry up. His head was so big and fat that his little cheeks were acting like little pillows on his shoulders. He was just so incredibly tiny.

“You don’t even know who Eli is, you lucky shit,” Remus’ cheeks hurt from the smile that has yet to fall off his face. He just wanted to crush the baby’s tiny little head, he’s so fucking cute! “He’s my brother. Technically, anyways. Or maybe not anymore because my parents kicked me out. I might be disowned now. I could’ve had two brothers, you know. I think about that a lot actually. He was supposed to be my twin, but he had a lot of breathing problems and died about two months after being born. I wish he had stuck around. I could definitely use someone right now.”

The baby didn’t respond of course because he was just a baby. He didn’t understand a single thing going on. He didn’t know who Remus was or what he was saying or what was in store for him if Remus could just make a fucking decision. He was small and ignorant to everything for the next few years.

Remus didn’t expect how fast he would fall in love with this stupid little thing.

With that thought in mind, Remus held the baby in one arm and pushed himself to his feet. He didn’t glance back at the hospital as he opened the door to the passenger side and put him in his car seat. The little thing didn’t stir and continued sleeping calmly. Remus rushed to the driver’s side and buckled himself in. He turned on the engine and dialed the first number he could think of on his phone.

“Hey, Spencer, I know we haven’t talked in awhile, but long story short I need a place to stay because I was kicked out of my house for getting a girl pregnant—” Remus laughed at his friends response, wedging the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he started driving to his apartment. “Yeah, I know, but I gotta son now so— his name?”

Remus grabbed the phone with his hand again and glanced over at the baby. Audri never gave him a name. She didn’t want anything to do with them, so of course she didn’t care about his name, but Remus didn’t really plan to take the kid back. The hospital or adopter people were going to handle that.

“Uh… Roman,” Remus smiled and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, his name is Roman. Yeah, he was born just a few hours ago. June 4th.”

#remuscore #remus sanders #roman sanders #parent au #fic

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siriusblackmakesmesoft · 3 years

Note

oh my gosh i loved soft so much!!!

if i could perhaps request a remus lupin fluff, maybe with similar vibes to the sirius one you wrote ! young!remus x fem!reader

maybe after the full moon he convinces madam prince to let him leave the hospital wing early, and he goes up to y/n (ravenclaw)‘s room, ending similarly to your one before if that’s possible :) very soft !! thank you so much my love!

Remus Lupin X Ravenclaw!Reader

A/N: thank you for your request babe! You’re the first :) I’m really sorry this took so long, I’ve been in a slump :( Also thank you for requesting Remus because his birthday was this month and I cried all day :,) love him so much my sweet boy!! Also also thank you for requesting ravenclaw reader because that is all i know how to write :) kisses to you i adore you thank you :* Also also also I Might write one similar to this and Soft about James potter just to complete the trio :) Requests are open for The Marauders right now, though I’m willing to write someone else if you want just ask :)

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff dude call your dentist, a few physical descriptions? Glasses and longish hair and pajamas, reader being the absolute softest love of my life, sad Remus being anxious, reader is head girl bc that’s what I am when I shift so its all I know sorry, use of she/her pronouns, use of the nickname bunny bc I’m obsessed, this long speech about soulmates, food and eating mention, pretty freaking long sorry I got carried away I just love remus so much

Word count: 2801

enjoy :)

Remus was tired.

Madam Pomfrey had told him it would be a good idea to stay in the hospital wing at least one more night, to assure he get the rest he so desperately needed. Despite loving and caring about Madam Pomfrey, Remus was beginning to become claustrophobic in the tiny bed he was ridden to whilst staying there. He asked kindly, quietly, if she would be so kind as to give him the potions he should need and let him go to his own bed. She had made him promise to come to her immediately if anything were to happen, and with a less than convincing smile and a sarcastically cheery “Of course I’d come to you Pomfrey, you’re only the best,” she let him go.

The walk to his dorm was slow. He was having no physical pain, apart from the dulled ache in his bones, yet he felt like he weighed a thousand pounds, and his bag was a thousand more. He trudged through the hall, hoping no one was in the dorm right now. It was unlikely, at almost noon on a Saturday he doubted his friends would be inside their room still. Remus loved his friends, more than he loved most things, but the thought of seeing them now was nerve wracking. He wasn’t in the right mindset to listen to them talk about a new prank plan, or a new sneaking out plan, or how lovely Lily’s eyes are, or how good their last shag was. Remus loved his friends, but he needed quiet. He needed a good book, a chocolate bar and a cozy sweater.

The dorm was empty when he got there. He felt guilty for feeling relieved, for feeling part of the weight leave his shoulders because his friends were absent, but he also knew they would understand. They were good people, good friends who cared about him and his problems. Remus had been working on his guilt, telling himself that these people caring about him was a good thing that he shouldn’t feel bad about putting them through the things he does, that they do it because they love him and whatever issues he comes with. He hadn’t believed it yet, but he kept saying it.

He flopped face down onto his bed, dropping his bag to the floor and wincing when he remembered his book was in there. His bed felt nice compared to the cot in the hospital wing, a soft knit blanket James’ mom made him for christmas and cozy pillows she bought all the boys for their birthdays. Remus loved James’ mom, loved how she included him in their family events, loved how after Sirius moved in with the Potter’s she called Remus her son too. He had spent lots of holidays with them, sleeping in a guest room that just happened to have photos of all of Remus’ friends and posters of music he liked, a seemingly homemade bookshelf with James and Sirius’ initials carved in it. Sirius said when he first moved into the Potter’s his room was magically decorated too, and that Remus shouldn’t think too hard about how or why it happened. He knew it was his friends, brothers seemed like more of an appropriate title at this point, but he didn’t say anything for their sake. It was a sweet gesture, it made Remus cry a bit the first summer he spent there, so he let them have it.

Getting out of bed was a tough feat, but he needed a shower. He opened his trunk, grabbed his biggest sweater and favorite sweats, and headed for the shower. Remus loved showering. It was one of his favorite parts of the day. The warmth, the scent of his soap flooding the entire room, the steam dulling his senses down. It was calming, never failed to relieve his shoulders of some of what they were carrying. He relished the moments alone, relished in the sound of the water hitting the tile, the water hitting his skin, and even though he loved his friends, he relished the privacy. He didn’t get much of that anymore.

He towel dried his hair, making it messier than usual. He waited to put his sweater on, walking around in just his sweats, waiting for his skin to lose it’s pink hue from the heat of the water. He laid back onto his bed, facing the ceiling this time, and made an extensive to do list in his head. He missed 2 days of school because of the full moon, and getting caught up was something he wanted to do before laying in bed and reading all day like he planned. He also decided he should probably eat something of sustenance, other than chocolate bars and the terrible oatmeal Pomfrey served for breakfast. A trip to the kitchens was due, perhaps before studying so he could get some brain food. He also wanted to ask Professor McGonnagal about changing his prefect rounds. Telling third years to stop snogging in the halls after curfew gets tiring after a while. When he had his plan, he stood up off the bed. He put his sweater on and put his hands through his hair a few times to tame the mess. He picked his bag up, taking out some things and putting in some others. He decided he would do homework at his desk in the room, go and get some food and come right back. Nodding to himself and his plan, he put his shoes on and left the dorm.

He had a bit more of a light step after his shower, feeling as if he washed most of his stress off. The trip to the kitchens was routine at this point. Sneaking in was muscle memory, after doing it for so long. It was a little difficult without James’ cloak, but he survived just fine. He made himself toast, spreading jam across the bread, and looked through the cabinets for some hot chocolate. He sat on the counter to eat, criss cross, right next to the sink. He thought about the elves that worked in the kitchen, how much they did. The ones who cleaned Hogwarts too, they did a lot for him, probably more than he was even aware of. It was a different kind of affection, unknown, prescribed almost. It was nice to think about.

He stopped at the library on his way back to his room, wanting to get an extra book as a source for his herbology essay. He stopped to talk to Madam Pince, asked her about a book he had heard Sirius talk about, and went to find it and his herbology book. He found them quite quickly, Remus has come to know the library like the back of his hand. He put them both in his bag after checking out, and went to head back to his dorm, and then he heard James and some friends yelling across the hall. A guilt filled Remus again, he loved James, loved him like family, but he didn’t feel like he could handle the attention, the loud voices. As James got closer, Remus felt stuck again. The claustrophobic feeling that caused him to beg Pomfrey to let him leave the hospital wing a day early. He walked quietly, tiptoed across the hall, and when he was sure he had gone unseen he went the opposite direction of the Gryffindor dorms.

He ended up at the Ravenclaw tower door. His feet taking him here was inevitable really. He usually ended up here on a rough day. Today wasn’t too bad, he’d be the first to admit. It wasn’t great though.

“What has hands, but cannot hold anything?” Out of all the things Remus loved about the Ravenclaw tower, the Eagle spouting riddles at him when he just wants in is not one of them. He shifted his weight between his legs, picked at his nails for a minute, his bottom lip next. Terrible anxious habits that he cannot help, he looked at his watch for the time. Half past two.

“A clock.” The door opened slowly, revealing the Ravenclaw common room to him slowly. Bookshelves to the ceiling, constellations on the ceiling, soft piano music playing on a charmed record player, Remus loved it here. He usually would relish longer, stare at the stars, browse the books, try to figure out what song is playing, but he was still breathing shallow from his near death encounter with James across the hall. He wrung his hands, cracking his knuckles and twisting his fingertips as he walked up the staircase to the girls dorms. The charm for the Ravenclaw girls dorm stairs fell quickly from his lips, almost half way up by the time he completed it. He knew the way to the head girl's room by heart, down the hall straight until the last left door. He stood there for a moment, toe to wood, hand itching to knock.

Remus suddenly felt insecure. He knew she would be happy to see him, her smile would be just as soft as he needs and she would say the perfect words, just like she always did. When he finally knocked the door opened very quickly, opening to a shy smile, and the top of a head.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Her smile was small, and her voice was barely above a whisper. She had a warmth about her, the way she looked at him, it warmed up his whole body. She opened the door wide enough for him to step in and shut it right behind him. She was wearing an old t-shirt, some band that her cousin liked and grew out of, blue pajama shorts, and socks with little rabbits all over them that Sirius bought her for christmas last year when she visited the Potter’s. Her hair was down, messy as if she were laying on it, and her glasses were crooked. She looked pretty, in a realistic way. The kind of pretty that makes Remus want to make her a cup of hot chocolate, lay in her bed, and stare at her for hours.

“Pomfrey wrote me a note that you left early, ‘was waiting for you t’come see me.” Remus stared at her, her soft smile making his resolve break easily. This always happened, he went to her broken and she was perfect and helped him fix himself. She always knew just what to say, as if she could read his mind. He wouldn’t be surprised if she could.

“Jus’ felt bad today, ‘s all bun.” His voice was quieter than he intended. He wanted to tell her everything, the claustrophobia he had been feeling all day, the dread that swallowed him when he saw James. He wanted to tell her he was sorry for this becoming a routine, showing up to her dorm needing her glue to put him back together. Remus swallowed, bouncing on the heels of his feet, and blew air out of his cheeks. “I ate though, made some toast, and I took my potion from Pomfrey before I showered, so I don’t hurt.” He smiled softly as he said it. Full moons were hard, and Remus often neglected to take care of himself after them. Telling her he had made a point to care for himself meant everything.

“‘S a good start isn’t it? Maybe we could read a bit? Got that book you wanted me to read, thought maybe you’d want to read it with me?” There were few good things in Remus’ life. He had been dealt a poor hand from an early age. But this, his girl, smiling at him so tenderly, made it all better. This made it all worth every ounce of pain he had ever felt.

“Can we cuddle, bunny? ‘M quite tired.” Remus pouted, looking at her with the absolute worst case of puppy dog eyes she had ever seen. She had to bite her lip to stifle her giggle, she got to love the most cutest boy in the whole world. (Y/N) grabbed Remus’ hands and pulled him to her bed. She made him sit down while she went to grab the book, and when she returned she noticed he had taken his sweater off. Remus always liked skin on skin contact, once Sirius had told him no matter how much his love language is quality time, it would always be squashed by his need for physical touch. For a while Sirius’ comment made Remus insecure, like he was clingy and annoying, overbearing. But after a long conversation (and a few tears as well) he learned that she loved him, loved holding and touching him, that it made her feel the same way it made him feel. Safe, connected, warm, and loved.

“Y’wanna lay on me, sweet boy?” Remus broke out of his daydream, nodding his head enthusiastically. She didn’t bother hiding her giggle this time, jumping onto the bed and patting her belly. Remus wrapped his arms around her waist, shoving his nose as deep into her shirt as physically possible. Her hands wound around his shoulders, rubbing his shoulder blades and mid back. The absolute bliss Remus felt was indescribable, if this was a dream he never wanted to wake up.

Remus sat up slightly, resting his chin on (Y/N)’s stomach, looking at her with complete adoration. He stared for a while, tracing her features with his eyes. Her hands were running through his hair now, scratching the back of his neck and softly pulling the strands on the top. She ran her fingers across his cheeks lightly, mumbling, “‘S goin’ on in that big brain of yours, sweetness?”

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

He could see her brain working out an answer. Her eyes squinted very slightly, her mouth parted and she ran her fingers down his jaw as she spoke.

“I don’t know. I think it’s silly to think just one person is made perfect for you. I think Sirius was made perfect for you and James, but I don’t think you lads’ll get married. If there were to be soulmates there would be a thousand different kinds. You could be soulmates with the person you marry, and your best friend. And the bloke you sit across from on the train, and the waitress at your favorite restaurant. There is too much love in the world to just limit yourself to one person,” She paused, looking at Remus, dragging her finger down the bridge of his nose and booping the tip, “But if I had to choose one person to give all my love to, one person to be my every kind of soulmate, well I just think I’d pick you, Mr. Remus John.” She ended with a pretty smile, leaning down to kiss his forehead as she started to run her hands through his hair once more.

Remus was speechless. His eyes were teary, his mouth was opening and closing as his brain screamed at him to just say anything at all, but he couldn’t. All he could do was stare. He grabbed her wrists, holding them against his face, kissing them while he thought of exactly what to say. It was a long while until he said something, just looking into her eyes with such awe.

“I’d pick you, too, to give all my love to. Already have, honestly.” His face split into a wide, boyish grin. Bad day forgotten, he felt nothing but love and warmth in this moment. No guilt, no insecurity, no weight. If you asked him, he’d probably say he could fly with how light he felt now.

“Well I’d sure hope so, otherwise it would be quite awkward to have you shirtless in my bed.” Her teasing made him giggle in disbelief, how one person could be so perfect he would never understand. How that same person could love him, choose to care for him and show him love, was an anomaly to him.

“Now kiss me so I can read to you. I need you well rested as my soulmate.” Remus had never moved so fast. Jumping level to her face, kissing all over her cheeks and lips, making exaggerated kissing noises as she squirmed under him. Her giggles and squeals loudly filled the room, floating around Remus as his hands gripped her waist. He kissed each cheek one more time, leaning his head up to look in her eyes, which were closed from when she was laughing. This was another moment, where Remus forgot all things that weren’t in this space with him. The only thing in the world was her smiling under him, and him feeling utterly delighted to exist, and a few more kisses, too.

#remus lupin fluff #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter

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beauty-and-passion · 3 years

Note

Hey! How are you? Just came across your blog recently, and I gotta say I absolutely love your theories!! I’m still catching up, but they’re so well thought out and deeply analyzed. It’s an absolute joy to read through, so thank you for all your interesting ideas!

I love theorizing myself too, and I’ve been wondering a bit about what the upcoming season finale of Sanders Sides will look like. Do you have any thoughts/theories on that?

I believe Joan mentioned we will have another 1/2 Asides before the finale of the current 2nd season. After FWSA (which apparently is playing an important part in the overall storyline according to the team), I feel like we might get an intense 2-vs-2 situation that could revolve around Thomas and Nico. Virgil and Roman on one side arguing Thomas is ready to start a relationship with Nico, and Patton and Janus on the other side arguing against it. Don’t know whether Nico would make a return so soon though, as it also feels Roman’s arc might become a vocal point in upcoming episodes (then again, the two could intertwine).

Anyway, do you have any ideas on how the finale would play out? Could we potentially get some Orange hints? (I am freaking out about him lately so would LOVE some more hints in next episodes lol.) Sorry if this is too long for an Ask Me Anything, still figuring out how to Tumblr. Would love to hear your thoughts!

First of all: thank you, I’m glad you like my theories! And I hope you will keep hanging around, because more will come in the future ;)

Second: don’t worry, this wasn’t a long ask :) it was nice to read your thoughts on the matter, because that’s not an easy one!

Third: o-oooh, what a question! I really love it! But I will also need some time to properly answer it, so I apologize in advance for my late reply.

Before starting, a premise. As you said, there will be two Asides, then a two-parts episode that will end season two. During every two-parts episode we visited the room of a new Core Side and considering we’re into Roman’s arc now, it’s pretty clear Roman’s room will be the next one. That also means this two-parts episode will be focused on Roman.

But Roman’s plot isn’t the only one we have now. There’s also:

The whole “Dark Sides relationship” (yes, I’m talking about you, Virgil and Janus)

Remus (his relationship with Roman, his functions, his future role in the creative process)

Logan and his issues

Considering that those are pretty big themes, I would develop them all in season three and just give some hints for now. There will be time to properly address them all later.

The only other plot I would keep is the one about Nico. During the first livesteam after FWSA, Thomas said he wanted to show how character!Thomas deals with a relationship. So yes, Nico IS a big deal, he will come back and the next big theme will probably be about him.

Having said that, here we are:

My Theories On The Next Two Asides And The Possible Ending Of Season Two.

_______________________________________

THE ASIDES

So we have three Asides and six Sides. Two of them were in the first Aside, so I would take them out for the other two.

We have now four Sides to see. Leaving one or two behind would have no sense, so I think we should see them all, two at a time.

Second Aside: Remus and Logan

Why the next Aside should be about them? Because we need to start talking about the creative process and how it isn’t just a purely “Roman” process, but something that requires Remus’ constant stream of ideas on one side and Logan’s realistic approach on the other.

However, it’s still a bit too early to talk about that: Thomas needs to grow, Roman needs to grow. For now, I would start by showing little by little how Remus’ suggestions can potentially be useful, if properly developed and tamed.

And we can do it thanks to Nico.

Some time passes between the first and the second Aside. Thomas and Nico starts to date, everything is good.

But Thomas is still insecure, because of what Virgil said to him in FWSA: “Will deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to (Nico)?”. So he tries to be as much honest as possible with Nico, to the point of ending up being brutally honest sometimes. Nico would be a bit weirded out by this behaviour, but accept it with a shrug.

So, since things are going so well, Thomas wants to make it official. To finally be boyfriends and not just two-people-who-see-each-other-and-kinda-like-each-other.

And that’s where Logan and Remus would come into play. Thomas’ thoughts about Nico would get Remus’ attention and the sudden brainstorming session would get Logan’s. The first would poke Thomas for his less chaste thoughts, all while suggesting weird, inappropriate ways Thomas can ask Nico to be boyfriends. The second wouldn’t tear down Remus’ suggestions, but work around them, show their flaws and how they cannot work.

This back and forth will lead to Thomas realizing what he can do and how. And this solution wil be the good one: Thomas would ask Nico to be boyfriends and Nico would accept.

Third Aside: Janus and Patton

Until now, we saw two kind of cooperations: Roman and Virgil’s is based on feelings and “pushing” each other through their emotions. Logan and Remus’ is a cooperation “in power”: they work well together and we just got a glimpse of how fruitful this cooperation will be in the future.

In this Aside we will see a third kind of cooperation: the most stable and balanced one. We would see how well Janus and Patton would steer Thomas together, how they’re able to talk and compromise, how they’re gradually smoothing their most extreme points of view for Thomas’ sake. And we would see them getting along well, despite their differences.

But why showing it now? Because this would be the perfect moment in time to show it. Because now Thomas is in an official relationship: things are getting real and there are A LOT of decisions that should be taken every day. Janus and Patton’s guidance would shine and prove how a cooperation between Sides isn’t just possible, but it leads to big, better results.

And it would also prove that Roman and Virgil’s fear in FWSA (that Thomas was using deceit to solve all his problems) was without merit. Janus’ power isn’t as uncontrollable as they thought. On the contrary, with Patton’s morals balancing it and when properly used, lying help Thomas achieve more. His relationship with Nico grows stronger.

Things are going well.

_______________________________________

SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 1

I’ve got an idea in the back of my mind for a while about how things can get worse and it’s something like this:

As we saw in the Asides, Thomas and Nico’s relationship is going well. Things moved very fast, yes, but they really like each other, so it’s okay.

One day, Nico says he wants to introduce Thomas to his family. Despite an initial peak in anxiety (a subtle way to show us that Virgil has problems with change in general), Thomas accepts to meet them.

Thomas is getting ready with Roman and Virgil. Virgil is - guess what - anxious about this meeting, but he’s also all butterflies in the stomach. Roman is absolutely delighted and keeps circling around Thomas, suggesting him what to wear, what to say, how to move: in other words, the whole “Himbo hopelessly in love” starter pack.

For a while, the meeting is going smoothly. Then Roman and Virgil notice how, once in a while, Thomas drops a lie. Something like “The food is delicious” when it’s not or “what a beautiful dress” even if it’s hideous. And the two Sides get worried. Once again, they try to force Thomas to stop lying, because Lying Is Always Bad and there can’t be true love with lies.

Still insecure and pushed by them, Thomas stops lying. He inevitably ends up saying something offensive/extremely mean and/or he ends up acting so badly the meeting has to end. Nico finds an excuse to justify Thomas’ behaviour with his parents (something on the line of “Thomas is very tired”) and Thomas is forced to leave.

When he comes back home, the discussion is inevitable. Roman and Virgil straight up blame Thomas for lying in the first place, because he wouldn’t have messed up so much, if he was honest from start.

But when Janus appears to defend Thomas and tells them lying IS useful in some circumstances, the situation escalates quickly. The two Sides attack Janus, blaming him for everything and making heavy statements on how deeply he corrupted Thomas/Patton or something similar. On the other hand, Janus attacks them back. They throw words at each other, things are starting to get pretty serious...

And just when the situation reaches its climax, Patton appears. He takes Janus’ side, he explains why lying is useful - especially during formal circumstances like meeting your boyfriend’s family because you want to be accepted, not to be seen as a complete jerk - and he bluntly tells Morality is HIS job, not Virgil’s nor Roman’s.

In this standstill, Thomas’ phone rings. It’s Nico. He wants to talk with Thomas about the evening. Janus suggests a simple lie (I was tired/long day at work), but Nico tells Thomas this isn’t the first time something similar happened - thus reminding us about all of Thomas’ “bursts of honesty” we saw in the second Aside. Honesty that wasn’t seen as such by Nico, but as weird, mean behaviours from the guy he likes.

So when Thomas tries to justify himself with some lie, Nico stops him. He tells Thomas he thought about a lot of stuff, after the meeting ended. He thought about their relationship. He thought about Thomas’ behaviour. Maybe they should’ve dated more, before becoming boyfriends. Maybe they moved too fast. Maybe introducing Thomas to his parents was the wrong choice. Maybe they should think a bit more. And maybe they should take some time for themselves to think about what they want to do, before going further with this relationship.

Nico hangs up. Janus is speechless. Thomas is on the verge of crying. Patton is heartbroken. Virgil is shocked.

And Roman is absolutely devastated. The love he wanted so badly, this happiness he desperately needed, is now in danger. Instead of strengthening the relationship, everything he did only managed to worsen it.

Roman sinks down and locks himself in his room.

_______________________________________

SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 2

We already had a Side ducking out and a Side welcoming the others in his room so, for this third time, we should try something different. And what’s better than Thomas & his Sides trying to break into Roman’s room?

Remus might appear for a while, just to help them get inside and leave. There are already a lot of issues Roman has to face now: his relationship with Remus can wait season 3.

So we have Thomas, Virgil, Patton and Janus all in Roman’s room. And the confrontation can finally take place.

Roman will talk about his issues, his low self-esteem and how he feels constrained by Patton’s morals. He will finally admit how he desperately wanted to go to the callback and how confused he was by morals, when he first sided with Janus, only to be blamed for not siding with him in the following episode. He would start seeing the problem with his black/white mentality and we would have a nice, mature moment with Patton apologizing for giving Roman this mentality - while promising he will grow to be a better Morality. We would also have Roman and Janus properly apologize to each other for everything they said and finally work things out.

And we can end it like this. It could be a nice ending, with some conflicts solved, others still to solve and a lot of hope for the future. Patton would feel even more motivated to keep up with his growth, because he’s not doing it just for himself but for Roman too. Roman would feel better, because now he knows no one will blame or mock him for his insecurities - on the contrary, they would still be by his side no matter what. Janus would learn that cooperation is necessary and that he should keep doing it, because this is the right choice.

And Virgil... well, Virgil would drop hints everywhere about his upcoming “second arc”.

In the first livestream after FWSA, Thomas hinted at a possible “second arc” for Virgil. So, since we have a whole season to fill, I would move Virgil’s arc, his confrontation with Janus and all the dark sides’ dynamics into the beginning of the third season. For now, Virgil may hint at a future confrontation with Janus that should happen in the first episode of season 3.

And what about Thomas?

Thomas would accept Nico’s decision and write him that he will take this time to become a better man. We may even close the episode with Nico smiling for this message, proving that he’s not mad at Thomas, he still loves him and that their relationship isn’t ended at all.

Then, we would have the end card.

And the end card would feature the Side I purposely took away from the whole season two finale. Logan.

After starring in the second Aside, Logan should completely disappear for the following two episodes and for the finale. No one should mention him or even think about him. He wouldn’t appear at all. Until now.

We would see him in a room, looking at the last episode of season 2 on Youtube. His face would be completely expressionless and he wouldn’t say a word, because the only voices would be the ones coming from the pc. The camera would slightly move to show a figure behind him. A small refocus of the camera on a little orange accent on this figure’s clothes.

And bam, the end. No explanations, no voices, nothing else. Just this. Because this would drive the fandom insane. Did Logan know Orange was behind him? Were they watching the episode together? Was Orange trying to kill him or what? What would happen? All questions that would accompany us while waiting for season three.

_______________________________________

And this is how I think the next Asides and the ending of season two will play out. Of course this is pure speculation and the next Aside might be about something completely new that makes my whole plot useless - but hey, that would mean a whole new theory to elaborate :D

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts! And for all the readers, well, feel free to add your own thoughts here about how the events will play out! Maybe one of us will get them right, who knows?

#sanders sides #ask #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #orange side #thank you SO MUCH for this ask #I had a lot of fun writing this down #I've had some ideas for a while #and now I got the chance to babble about them :P #can't wait to read about your ideas #It'll be fun #sanders sides theory

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full-of-roman-angst-trash · 3 years

Text

Explanations for the "Sides As DHMIS Episodes" Post I Made Over A Year Ago

Okay, I was never really planning on explaining this post but today @roman-eats-glitter stumbled upon the post and gave their own version of it. This prompted me to rewatch DHMIS, expecting my opinion to change. Surprisingly, it didn't. So here are my explanations for why I assigned the episodes I did to each side.

P.S: My explanations are a bit all over the place since I wrote them rather quickly and at the end of the day, it is just my opinion. Also, this post has a lot of talk of stuff like gore, food, death, etc. since DHMIS isn't exactly the most kid-friendly series so please don't read this if you are sensitive to that sort of stuff. If I need to tag anything please tell me.

Ep. 1 Creativity- Patton:

Short explanation: Patton reminds me so much of the notepad.

Long explanation: The whole “orange with a silly face” is something Patton would definitely say. When the red guy says that using his hair to express himself is boring and the notepad just repeats what he says, that reminds me of the whole selfishness vs selflessness video where Patton keeps the same argument no matter what Janus says. He is exactly the type to go cloud watching. Also, the whole clown and green is not a creative color, reminds me of how Patton thought in a very white and black mentality. He thought that certain things were good and bad even though many morals and ideals are conditional and/or subjective. (Also “green is not a creative color” reminds me of how Patton doesn’t like Remus). Arranging sticks sounds like an activity Patton would tell you to do. The line, “Listen to your heart.” This video is one of the more tame ones in the series. It’s also one of the ones that escalates very quickly which reminds me of how Patton snapped and turned into the giant frog so suddenly. Also, I feel like covering a heart with glitter is something that Patton would do if he did gore. It ends very suddenly and with, “yeah let’s never do that again,” Patton is definitely the type to try and swipe a situation under the rug or quickly move on from it.

Ep.2 Time- Janus:

Short explanation: The clock reminds me of Janus.

Long explanation: The clock sounds so condescending and passive-aggressive, which reminds me of Janus. The clock guy had a top hat and a cane, that’s Janus. “An old man died.” “But look a computer.” That reminds me of the philosophical ideology that someone is always suffering yet life goes on. This reminds me of Janus because of his views on society. The clock tries to manipulate them with the advancements of technology by putting them right smack in front of a huge computer much like Janus tried to convince the other sides in Selfishness vs Selflessness by putting them in the courtroom. When the clock avoids the questions the characters ask and then just screams, it reminds me of when Janus told everyone to forget about the bad things Max Stirner has done. When the characters age rapidly at the end the clock says, “It’s out of my hands, I’m only a clock. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be fine but eventually, everyone runs out of time.” Even though Janus is deceit, he seems like the type to hit you with the cold slap of reality.

Ep. 3 Love- Roman:

Short explanation: The yellow puppet reminds me of Roman.

Long explanation: At first, I didn’t really know what side to put for this episode, but after rewatching it multiple times, it reminded me of Roman for many reasons. For one, Roman is definitely the type to run away when upset. I strongly believe in himbo Roman so part of me says he would absolutely call a butterfly a little baby pigeon. Also, the butterfly’s first statement is “it doesn’t have to be, I hate you and you hate me.” I feel like out of all the sides, Roman needs/needed to learn this lesson the most. After all, Roman has been shown to actively hate the “Darksides” without really giving them the benefit of the doubt first. Also, I feel like the phrase “Life’s unfair cause everyone hates you and no one care,” is something Roman would think to himself. I feel like Roman sometimes loves things too much just like the yellow guy does when he says “I love this tree and I love this stick.” Plus the whole idea that everyone has a special one sounds like a fantasy the romantic side would have. The whole cult part just reminds me of how dedicated Roman was to staying behind Patton’s ideology and not wanting to challenge it.

Ep. 4 Computers- Logan:

This one is pretty self-explanatory. The computer is smart, straight to the point, believes that research is one of the only things to do on a computer, and has anger issues. Sounds like Logan to me. But seriously the computer screaming reminds me of Logan screaming at Remus in the latest episode.

Ep.5 Healthy Eating- Remus:

Short explanation: The can and meat guy reminds me of Remus so much.

Long explanation: First, the unsettling tone of the video honestly reminds me of DWIT, and the whole part of the red guy being gone reminds me of how roman was practically out for the whole video. They are loud and cut off the duck a lot, something that Remus would do. The meat also pokes duck with a fork, something Remus would do to another side. The house that showed the human organs and stuff literally looks like something Remus would make. When the phone turns to a sandwich it reminds me of how Remus can make things appear and disappear. The meatball with the eye is a Remus thing. The food groups shown in the video are an abomination that only Remus could come up with. Also, you can’t tell me Remus wouldn’t have a human body anatomy model that has a movable mouth and eyes as well as makes noise. The whole can eating the duck’s organs is what really reminds me of Remus because of the gore. The yellow puppet being tortured and then eating the canned duck kinda reminds me of how Remus seems to be able to make the other sides and Thomas snap after being annoying enough. Also, this episode is arguably one of the most fucked up in this series which is why I think it’s perfect for Remus, who is arguably the most unhinged and unpredictable side.

Ep.6 Dreams- Virgil:

Short explanation: This whole episode just screams anxiety to me.

Long explanation: In the beginning, the yellow guy says goodnight to the red guy and duck even though they aren’t there anymore; this reminds me of Virgil’s attachment issues and uncomfortableness with change that he has been shown to have multiple times in the series. The yellow’s guys resistance to the lamp in this episode reminds me of Virgil’s resistance and hostility towards Janus and Remus. Now the dreams that the lamp says the yellow guy can have stuck out to me a lot. Both of the dreams are nightmares. The second dream shown is obviously a nightmare as drowning in oil isn’t exactly a good dream. The first dream is also a nightmare since if you do some research you can find an article by “It’s nice that” called “Don't Hug Me I'm Scared - an exclusive interview with Duck, Red Guy, and Yellow Guy”. In this interview, it is revealed that the yellow guy is allergic to horses. In the episode, the lamp says, “You can have a dream about riding a horse,” which if you are allergic to horses would arguably not be a pleasant dream. Nightmares are speculated to be caused by anxiety. The sudden shift to real life is also very unpredictable and sudden, much like anxiety can be. In the live-action part, we see the red guy trying to pursue his career in entertainment. He performs in front of his coworkers only to be booed by everyone, which literally sounds like the worst nightmare ever for someone with anxiety. When the red guy sees the machine that controls what character is in front of the yellow guy to me symbolizes his dreams of entertainment getting out of hand and hurting others. This part reminds me of how Virgil has hurt the other sides in the series unintentionally as well as him coming to terms that he couldn’t keep the other “Darksides” away from Thomas. The ending is the only part that I can’t really say reminds me of Virgil. The closest I could come is relating the ending of DHMIS to Virgil going from a “Darkside” to a “Lightside”

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shadowling-guistical · 3 years

Text

rubberband heartbreak

"What kind of— What kind of person says that?! What kind of monster is grateful for their soulbond snapping?“ Roman says, wondering.

And all Janus could hear was his baby brother’s desperate, unhinged laugh as he clawed at his own skin.

And all he could see was red. Angry, smoldering red.

(Janus didn’t think the overdramatic prick even saw the fist coming.

***

Virgil had a soulmate, once. What a beautiful, awful, painful thing. (READ ON AO3 HERE) SHIPS: Established LMP, Established Demus, Past Virgil/OC, eventual LAMP, Eventual Remile

WARNINGS: Minor Character Death, Domestic Violence, Angst

--- It would have been roast chicken again that night. It was in the oven, sitting on a bed of potatoes and carrots that perfumed their little house with a smell that was honestly heavenly. No matter how many times he had that exact meal, he thought he could eat that meal for the rest of his life. He’s pretty sure he will. It was the only thing his soulmate knew how to cook without requiring an emergency call to the firestation, after all. He wouldn’t trade it for anything.

A bottle of semi-fancy wine was cooling in a bucket of ice on the counter, just waiting to be opened. It was the exact type that they had drunk when they made their courtship official, and the nostalgia and memories only made the taste that much sweeter.

Fresh flowers sat prettily in a vase on the kitchen table in a bunch. Violets, his favorite. His soulmate had bought home earlier while all twitterpated.

It was the perfect set up for a date night-- Simple. Elegant. Romantic. Everything someone could ask for in a night in with their soulmate.

And despite all that, all Janus Sanders wanted to do was vomit. Or maybe find a seat. No, a fainting couch. Yeah, he might need a fainting couch.

He briefly wondered if those are still a thing. It should be. God it should be. if the lightheadedness that began lapsing at the edge of his brain were any indication, he really needs it right about now. He nervously tapped a finger on whatever surface it met with, which turned out to be the countertop of their kitchen island. At the back of his head, he registered his knees slightly shaking, and his heart trying to pound out of his ribs. He really should have sat down before he answered the call.

“Yes…” He spoke into the phone that had been glued to his ears ever since the call came, just minutes before the start of his date night with Remus. He spoke without really registering what he was saying. The buzzing in his brain prevented him from catching anything other than bits and pieces of gentle concern and medical jargon. However, icicles are still icicles. And no matter how hard the person at the end of the line tried to soften the blow, each one still dug into his chest. It pierced so harshly and the coldness spread downwards to his stomach.

Urgent.

Emergency treatment.

He needed his family.

He needed them.

With just a phone call, Janus’ whole evening grinded to a halt, “I see. Thank-- right. Of course. We’ll-- We’ll come down. Yes. Thank you. He-- I understand. Goodbye,” Before Janus could even recover, before he could even process the fact that--

“Janus?”

Janus blinked. His hand fell limp by his side, and he didn’t even realize that he was still gripping the phone. Oh-- oh, Remus . He didn’t realize that his boyfriend had even come downstairs. How long was he--? “Jan, are you okay?” Remus’ sharp, bright eyes darted at his form, knowing that the answer is obviously a big fat no, “What’s going on snakey? Is it Remy?”

The icicle twisted, and for a moment Janus thought it must have melted out of his eyes. Oh god-- oh god, Remy . How will he explain this to Remy?--

It would wreck him. Absolutely destroy him when he finds out.

Because he was--

He was…

Janus’ breath came out shaking. His hands even more so. His composure took the worst of it.

They were supposed to protect him. They were supposed to be there for him and annoy him and beat up anyone that dared look at him the wrong way. Because they were his-- They were his-- “I--” He swallowed around the weight lodged in his throat. He must looked as dazed as he felt, because Remus’ expression turned from cautious curiosity into grim concern, “I don’t--”

Janus never babbled before. He was never at a loss for words. He always know what to say-- He should know what to say-- Because he needed to call Remy-- He needed to explain--

The thought was squeezed out of him when Remus took him into his arms. The hug that Remus suddenly enveloped him in shouldn’t feel as relieving as it did. He shouldn’t have felt that small, that unsure nor that scared. But Janus felt everything buzzing in his brain melt away as he felt his soulmate squeeze him.

“Hey...Hey...Shh...It’s cool. It’s okay,” He felt Remus’ breath against his ear and this time, he didn’t shiver out of fear, “Breathe...That’s it. I won’t have you asphyxiating anywhere else other than in bed, you hear me?” Involuntarily, like Remus always somehow does, he dragged the smile out to Janus’ lips. And in return, he grinned as well. Remus dragged a thumb across Janus’ cheekbones, “There’s that pretty smile. Can you tell me? Or do you want me to--?”

Janus felt a shudder ripple through his chest, and he shook his head. He didn’t need to. He didn’t need to rely on their soulbond for this. He didn’t want to submit Remus to the knot of thoughts and panic that were all tangled up in his brain right now. “That’s okay. Okay Jan,” He felt his large hands rub his back, up and down. But Janus shook his head. “It’s--everything’s not okay, Remus. Far from it--” He brought up a hand, gripping the fabric of Remus’ shirt, “My brother’s-- Virgil’s in the hospital. His-- His soulbond broke,”

---

Remy had come to their home a little over an hour later, looking very much similar to Janus did. Remus noticed the pinched, spooked look on the eldest Sanders’ face, now that his sunglasses were perched up on the crown of his head. He had smiled wanly, and offered a reassuring hand on Janus’ shoulder. But it was brittle and unsure. Both of them reeling from what Remus assumed was shock.

Janus however, then stepped closer. He nearly folded into his brother, who immediately inhaled as if he was punched. Immediately, Remy wrapped his arms and squeezed. Remus, for all the times he would say something at the most inopportune moments, had let him. And Janus couldn’t have thanked him enough. No judgement. No comments. Just someone who wanted-- needed, his big brother right now.

“You know, I can come with? Take turns driving,” Remus offered, once Janus slowly let himself unlatch from Remy. He cleared his throat and shook his head, starting to put on his composure like a mask.. The effect was instantaneous. Janus' back straightened, and the perfect picture of calmness rippled through him like waves on water. Remus felt his heart twitch in his chest when Janus did. Did his soulmate really want that now? He barely allowed himself room to breathe

“No. It’s okay. We’ll manage. It’s...It’s a family matter, Remus. I’m not sure-- I’m not sure if it’s the best time, right now,” “We’ll call whenever we can,” Remy promised, as Remus helped haul Janus’ duffle bag into the trunk of Remy’s car. He didn’t need to, really, it was only filled with some spare change of clothes and toiletries but...It was still a nice gesture. Before they were set to leave, Janus hugged Remus one last time. The hug that Remus tugged him into nearly made Janus melt and his composure shift. His soulmate was all gangly limbs, bony and sharp. But in this warm skeleton cage, Janus never felt more safe. Remus was like that, Janus had realized. Unlike his twin, his gestures of romance were...A lot more subtle. A lot more tame, actually, compared to the larger than life person that Remus always was. And on the verge of entering a storm, Janus couldn’t help but revel in the stability that Remus unwittingly always provides.

“You’re stuck with me,” Remus smiled, easy and teasing as he nudged Janus’ chin with his knuckle.

The rattling inside his chest petered out, as if Remus was sapping away his worries about Virgil with just a touch. For the first time, each second doesn’t feel like it’s one moment closer to losing Virgil anymore. There was a storm on the horizon, but it hadn’t rained yet. The clouds will part, and the sun will shine again.

Something deep inside him loosened, a knot of tension slowly unravelling.

It’ll be okay.

Virgil will be okay.

“Not going to get off me that easily, Squid,” Janus replied with a lot more warmth than he’d ever let anyone else hear. He’d keel over and perish before anyone else at his firm knew that he’s a sap. He has a reputation, for god’s sake.

“If you start making out, I’m leaving without you!” Remy called, already slipping into the driver’s seat. A hand reached for the coffee he grabbed on the way there, taking a blasé sip. Janus sighed and finally parted from his soulmate. Once he was secured, Remy handed him the coffee and smiled, looking a lot more fragile than Janus had ever seen him. Even more than the time…

“Let’s go get our little brother, shall we?”

Despite the circumstances, something in his heart swelled.

Little brother. They were getting their little brother back.

---

“He’s probably going to be okay, right?”

The hospital loomed, large and daunting. It was a behemoth of a building, stark white against the sky, which was a gunmetal grey from the threat of an approaching storm. Janus felt like he was 20 again, young and viper-tongued. But instead of angry and bristling, he’s...desperate. Out of his depth. Hurting and worried and strung out. Maybe it was the long drive talking. Maybe it was the prospect of seeing Virgil again, years later after their messy goodbye.

The only thing preventing Janus from nervously cracking his knuckles right now, just meters away from the entrance, was the musical notes playing right at the back of his head. It was faint, and he could still just ignore it over the din of people. The chords were familiar, the lyrics faint. But it settled in his bones and stopped it from rattling. Remus must have been listening to a lot of music today, he faintly thought. His soulmate’s playlist had looped back from Vocaloid, to the Hamilton Polka, and back to Video game OSTs for the third time now. Despite the questionable choice of a playlist, Janus appreciated it just the same. That feeling of having one person that was always thinking of you, connected through musical notes and voice and thoughts.

“I don’t know…” Remy admitted. Janus didn’t point out his habit of absentmindedly rubbing his bicep. He didn’t need to judge someone for trying to leech some comfort from a soulmate he hadn’t had the pleasure to meet yet. “I think we just need to be prepared,

---

They said that Virgil laughed.

He had laughed as he did it. Agony must have ripped through him top to bottom. It would have fizzed and flared back up again- leaving him a writhing mess on the floor of his own home. It burnt through him and made him suffer. Yet, he had laughed .

Virgil laughed.

He was still laughing when they got to him , the nurse had said.

Janus clutched his nephew as he slept, his own heartbeat beating in time with his pounding head. He remembers Virgil’s laugh. The cackle, a pleased, borderline mischievous sound.

Now, he wishes he could wipe his head clean from it.

Thomas suddenly whimpered, and Janus fussed over him again. No matter what lullaby he sang, or any reassurance he whispered to the toddler, nothing had erased the sudden cold dread that had washed over him after they knew. Nothing could stop the child from crying out and demanding for the comfort of his father. Nothing could bleach Janus’ brain from the sight of those awful, black cracks spreading out on Virgil’s skin like Lichtenberg scars.

After they found out what that bastard --

That absolute beast of a conniving, cowardly, sniveling bastard--

Janus pulled in a raspy gasp, trying hard not to let a single sob go through his composure. Not when it took this much effort to make sure he was calm enough to take care of Thomas. His nephew had spent the time with medical personnel since they were both brought in, and Janus wanted to make sure that wouldn’t happen again. The boy needed to be with family.

His family.

Their family. Because Thomas is his nephew. His only nephew--

… Oh stars, he had a nephew.

They came in expecting their brother, only to meet their nephew. Janus didn't feel ready for this. He needed to-- He need to be--

Janus squashed the pained noise in his throat. Ready? What a thought. he would laugh if he wasn't so haunted by Virgil's. He isn't ready. His baby brother’s soul had snapped in two, frayed into anguish and Virgil had laughed.

And there was absolutely nothing-- nothing that could prepare them for this.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #soulmate au #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #remy sanders #ts virgil #ts janus #ts remus #ts remy

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malfoymanortings · 4 years

Text

lavender and velvet //part four

SUMMARY: she had her fathers eyes, his aristocratic looks, her grandmothers spite, her mothers heart, but the one thing she didn't have was the love of her father that her god brother received. juliet black finally meets her father who has already decided who his child is.

PAIRINGS: to be decided.

hello again! hope you all are doing well. i hope everyone is liking this so far! my messages/asks/replies/reblogs are always open if you wanted to comment on anything or give suggestions/feedback. i’d love to hear from yall! enjoy loves xx

The last day of the holidays approached rather quickly. Juliet had been expecting a bit more excitement at the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, but that wasn’t the case. Sure, there was at least one member that passed through daily, sometimes staying for a meal and sometimes just for a whispered conversation that none of the children were allowed to hear. Her days passed in a blur of spending time with Ginny and Hermione, smoking with Fred and George, and being cordial towards Harry and Sirius.

She no longer yelled at Sirius. She made little attempt to speak with him, no longer wanting to fight. He had tried more to engage with her, but it was hard when she would see how easily he would speak with Harry. She spent a lot of her time in the room with the Black family tree, finishing up her summer work uninterrupted.

She sat in there now, writing another letter to Draco. They had sent several correspondences to each other over the last month, and he seemed to have been going a bit stir crazy. He said he had something important to tell her, when they saw each other on the first day of term.

“Your booklist arrived.”

Sirius was standing in her doorway, envelope in hand.

“Thanks,” Juliet stood, taking the thick paper out of his hand. He nodded to her, his eyes watching her as she opened the envelope.

Inside was her booklist, yes, but there was another letter tucked behind it. She moved the booklist aside, scanning over the separate letter. A grin broke across her face, and she reached into the envelope once more to pull out the green and silver badge with a silver P embedded on it.

“Prefect?” Sirius questioned, smiling as she nodded. “Taking after Remus, I see. I caused too much trouble to be a one. Reckon they made Remus a Prefect to try and get him to tame James and I. It didn’t work, needless to say.”

Juliet smiled, a bit deflated at the mention of yet another difference between them. “Can’t imagine him having authority over you anyways.”

Sirius chuckled slightly, an odd look on his face. “Well, I wouldn’t say that’s entirely true.”

Before Juliet could question him, Ginny walked into the room. Her eyes widened when she saw the Prefect badge in her hands, and looked over her shoulder as she shouted.

“Mum! Juliet’s been made Prefect too!”

“Who else is Prefect?” Juliet questioned, putting her letters back. “Hermione?”

Ginny turned back to her and Sirius, a grin on her face. “You’ve got that one right. Ron has been made one with her.”

“Ron?” echoed Juliet in disbelief. “Oh, merlin.”

She could only imagine how Draco would react to that news. It was tough already, the tension between her cousin and her chosen family, and this would surely strain it even further.

“Mums going to buy him a broom when she goes to get our things,” Ginny raised her eyebrows. “As a reward.”

“You’d better write to Remus, and let him know,” Sirius nodded to Juliet, pausing for a moment. “Actually, I think I’ll go do that myself.”

He left the room, leaving Juliet and Ginny alone. Juliet gathered her parchment and ink, quickly finishing off the note by letting Draco know the news, while Ginny leaned against the doorway.

“Another note to Draco?” Ginny questioned, nodding to the rolled up paper.

Juliet nodded. “I’d better see if anyone’s got an owl I can use.”

As they left the room, George was calling Juliet’s name. The girls went together to find him, spotting him in the living room with a familiar owl perched on the high backed chair, nipping at his fingers.

“You’ve got another letter from Malfoy,” George informed her, wincing as the owl bit his thumb. “Bloody hell, have you got something for it?”

Juliet spotted a half eaten biscuit on the table, and quickly ripped a piece off, ignoring George’s protests. “It’s either this biscuit or your fingers.”

“‘Lo, Achilles,” Juliet held out the fluffy food, and Achilles accepted it with a small nip. “Can you take this to Draco for me?” she tied the parchment to his leg, ruffling his feathers before opening the window for him to leave.

Achilles flew off, and Juliet opened her letter to see it was rather short.

Juliet,

I’ve been made Prefect, no surprise there. I'm assuming either you or Parkinson have been made one along with me. With any luck, it’ll be you. Dunno if I could stand a year of working closely with Pansy. The thought alone sickens me. you’ll have to come by for Christmas, by the way. Mum misses you and she’s getting annoying about it.

See you tomorrow.

-Draco Malfoy

Juliet grinned, folding the letter back up and tucking it into her pocket. She looked at George and Ginny, who were watching as she read it.

“His owls name is Achilles?” questioned George, snorting.

“Is that bad? I quite like the name.” Juliet quirked a brow at the ginger haired boy, smirking when he grew red and grumbled under his breath.

“What did it say?” asked Ginny.

“He’s been made Prefect,” Juliet replied, turning to George and grinning. “By the way, you and Fred better keep yourselves in line this year. I’m Prefect as well.”

George’s eyes widened, and he gave her a hug. “Perfect, you can cover for us now!”

Juliet pulled away, swatting his arm. “Are you daft? I’ll be the first one to report the two of you!”

“Now why would you do that?” George pouted, giving her pleading eyes.

“For fun, of course.” she tilted her head, smirking, and left the room.

Later that night, Molly had thrown together a feast for everyone. A banner hung over the dining room, reading CONGRATULATIONS RON, HERMIONE, AND JULIET - NEW PREFECTS.

The unmistakable sound of Remus’ voice came from the foyer, and Juliet slipped out of the growing party in the kitchen to go greet him. He stood with Sirius, who had an arm slung around his waist, and was holding an emerald green box.

“I’m so proud of you,” Remus beamed when he caught sight of her, handing the box carefully to Sirius before enveloping her in a hug. She held on tightly, already missing him. It was the first summer she had spent this much time away from him, and now, she was heading to school the next day.

“Thank you,” she replied, eyeing the box as she pulled out of his hug. “What’s that?”

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, a smile on their faces. Sirius held the box out to her, and she took it hesitantly.

She lifted off the top, revealing a small, gorgeous owl, grey in color with black tipped wings. Her eyes widened in surprise, mouth open as she saw the owl blink at her sleepily.

“A present for getting Prefect,” Remus explained, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I know you’ve been wanting one.”

“Thank you!” exclaimed Juliet ecstatically, reaching in to gently pet the owl on its head.

“Sirius thought of it,” continued Remus, glancing over at said man. “He gave me the idea to get you something.”

“Thank you.” Juliet said to Sirius, who nodded and winked at her. She hadn't been expecting a gift of any sort, much less an owl.

“I’ll take it up to your room to set it up,” Sirius offered, holding out his hand. “You’ll have to think of a name for her.”

Juliet handed the owl off to Sirius, thanking him once more. Remus pulled her into another hug, and the two of them headed back into the party.

They were greeted back into the fold, and drinks were served out. Soon, the arrival of Bill, Arthur, and most unfortunately Mundungus Fletcher, came upon them, and they were soon seated at the table and serving out food. Sirius came back into the room, and Juliet ignored her jealousy as he sat next to Harry. She told herself that it was just because Ginny and George had already taken the seats next to her, and pretended to not hear the voice in her head that whispered he wouldn’t have sat next to her anyways.

“You’ll never guess what my dad got me,” Juliet burst out, ignoring her thoughts.

“What?” Ginny questioned, taking a bun from the massive pile. She then passed it down to Ron, who was eyeing them hungrily.

“Must be something special for you to be this excited,” George remarked, nudging her with his elbow.

“Dad got me an owl,” she beamed, pouring a glass of pumpkin juice. “I’ve no idea what to name her, but I’m glad I finally got one.”

“Hopefully that means we won’t be seeing Achilles again,” George remarked, letting out an indignant protest when Juliet whacked his arm. “Hey!”

“Well, I think a toast is in order,” said Arthur, raising his glass. “To Ron and Hermione, the new Gryffindor Prefects, and to Juliet, the new Slytherin Prefect!”

Juliet, Ron, and Hermione beamed as everyone drank to them and then applauded.

“I was never a prefect myself,” said Tonks brightly, standing across the table from Juliet, behind Harry. Her hair was tomato-red and waist length today; she looked like Ginny’s older sister. “My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities.”

“Like what?” said Ginny, who was choosing a baked potato.

“Like the ability to behave myself,” said Tonks.

Ginny laughed; Hermione looked as though she did not know whether to smile or not and compromised by taking an extra large gulp of butterbeer and choking on it.

“What about you, Sirius?” Ginny asked, thumping Hermione on the back.

Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh.

“No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge.”

“I think Dumbledore might have hoped that I would be able to exercise some control over my best friends,” said Lupin. “I need scarcely say that I failed dismally.”

“Betcha that’s why Dumbledore made you Prefect, Jules,” George snorted, wrapping arm around her in a quick hug. “He’s hoping you can keep us on a short leash.”

“No, Georgie,” Fred disagreed, shaking his head. “Dumbledore’s smarter than that. It was probably so she could get Malfoy to stop bullying the other students.”

Ron and Harry laughed loudly at that comment, and Juliet felt a brief surge of anger. Yes, that comment was warranted, but she was protective of her cousin. They didn’t know him like she did.

“Actually, Fred, Draco has been appointed Prefect along with me,” Juliet cut into her baked potato, sprinkling cheese on top. “He wrote to me this morning to tell me.”

“I got bit by his bloody owl just for him to tell you that?” George exclaimed, shaking his head.

He looked to his left, and suddenly looked serious. He nudged Fred, and the two stood up from the table, walking over to Mundungus Fletcher. Before Juliet could ask what they were doing, Sirius interrupted her train of thought.

“Maybe you should try to distance yourself from the Malfoys, Juliet,” Sirius said carefully, looking at her from across the table. “Lucius-”

“I’m not going to do that,” Juliet cut him off, setting her knife down and focusing her eyes on him. “Auntie Cissy has been nothing but kind to me. Draco is one of my closest friends, regardless of the activities his father partakes in.”

“Even though his father is a Death Eater?” the words seemed to slip out of Harry’s mouth, and Ginny and Sirius, the only ones paying attention to their conversation, froze as the tension became thick in the room.

Juliet stared at Harry, her eyes narrowed. She felt slight satisfaction when he seemed to shrink away from her hard stare.

“As I said,” Juliet repeated, her words concise. “Draco and Narcissa are my family, regardless of Lucius’ activities. Until they do something unspeakable, I will continue having them in my life.”

“So you’ll wait until they hand you over to Voldemort, to stop being friendly?” Harry asked harshly, and Sirius brought a hand down on his shoulder.

“Harry, just leave it,” Sirius cleared his throat, looking at Juliet. “She can handle herself.”

“While I don’t need to handle myself, as I trust them, you are correct,” Juliet rolled her eyes, angry and annoyed with Harry. “I can handle myself just fine. As I’ve been doing for the past fifteen years.”

“... it would look so much better shorter, wouldn’t it, Harry?”

Molly broke the tense atmosphere, directing a question to Harry who looked away from Juliet, alarm on his face.

“Oh -I dunno-” Harry said, and he moved over towards the twins, who were huddled in a corner with Mundungus Fletcher.

“Juliet,” Molly called over to her, motioning towards Bill. “Wouldn’t Bill’s hair look much better shorter?”

“Oh, absolutely not,” Juliet grinned, winking at the older man. “Long hair suits him quite well.”

Sirius choked on his drink, and Molly looked flustered at her words. Bill, however, winked back at her, turning his mom with an expression of ‘see! Told you so!’. Ginny whacked her arm, giving her an amused sharp look, and Juliet smirked in return.

The rest of the evening went fairly smooth, aside from a Boggart scaring Molly. A few of the Order members had rushed upstairs at her scream, and taken care of the problem. Juliet and Ginny had stayed downstairs, as instructed, and were thankful that it turned out alright.

Too soon, Remus was hugging Juliet and promising to see her in the morning. She headed upstairs with Ginny, an undeniable sadness wrapping around her. She dressed for bed slowly, her usual oversized shirt that hung down to her thighs with nothing else. Tomorrow, she would have to go back to wearing pants to bed, and she wanted to enjoy her last night without them.

Thinking back on the first night the girls had shared the room, she laughed to herself, ignoring the look Ginny gave her. Hermione had been so overwhelmed when Ginny had worn a tank top and underwear, and Juliet her shirt, and hadn't been able to look at either of them. She still didn’t, but she usually woke before the other girls.

Long after the other girls had fallen asleep, Ginny’s loud snoring and Hermione’s deep breathing echoing throughout the room, Juliet found herself unable to sleep. She was sad, and she didn’t quite understand why. She got up slowly, and with her blanket in hand, she quietly made her way out of the room.

Down the hall she went, slowly opening the twin’s room door. The skunky smell of weed hung in the air, so she knew they hadn't been sleeping for that long. She shut the door behind her softly, walking over to George’s bed where he lay, his face buried in his pillow.

“Georgie,” she whispered, nudging him softly. He didn’t move. “George!” she said a bit louder, shaking his shoulder.

“Wh- Freddie?” George rolled over, blinking sleepily at Juliet. “Jules?”

“I can’t sleep,” Juliet bit her lip, suddenly shy. She didn’t know why, they slept in the same bed every so often other summers. “Can I sleep with you?”

George blinked once more, suddenly more focused. “Yeah, love. Of course. Inside or outside?”

“Inside,” Juliet replied, smiling slightly as George was already moving out of the way. “Like always.”

“How could I forget,” George’s voice was teasing. “Always.”

Juliet fluffed the pillow, waiting until George laid down before throwing her blanket over both of them. He grumbled to himself, turning to spoon her as they always did. Juliet tucked her head onto his arm, his other arm wrapped loosely around her.

“What’s wrong with my blanket?” George asked, offended. He yawned loudly, his breath hot against her neck.

“Mines softer.” Juliet pointed out, tucking her hands against her chest.

George mumbled something under his breath, his breathing deepening once more. He was asleep again. Juliet lay there, his arm around her, and felt butterflies in her tummy. That was odd to her, and she couldn’t figure out why she felt them. They cuddled like this all the time. There was nothing more to it. Maybe it was because Fred didn’t know she was there, and normally he did. That was probably it.

Juliet soon fell asleep to the sound of George’s breathing, tucked into embrace.

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