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makeste · 6 months

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BnHA Chapter 406: Secret Menu Hero Name

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all “NOT EVEN DEATH ITSELF CAN STOP ME!!!” and saved All Might so easily and spectacularly that it immediately became clear why Horikoshi had to keep him on ice for fourteen months straight. All Might was all “thanks for the assist Bakugou-shounen, now please allow me to show my gratitude by lending you my SWEETASS ROBOT ARM that nearly gave makeste a fucking heart attack when she saw it, HOLY SHIT.” Kacchan was all “I JUST LIKE TO SMILE, SMILING’S MY FAVORITE” and he smiled the BIGGEST EVER and indeed has literally not STOPPED smiling ever since, and my heart is warm. <3333

Today on BnHA: A jubilant menace stirs in the air. A chill runs down Kid For One’s spine. A sudden crash behind him. He whirls around, only to be met with the face of Chaos itself in all its raucous glory. The boy is relentless. His pursuit, unending. His blows, unyielding. And his mirth, as perplexing as it is petrifying. What the fuck. Why won’t he stop laughing. He’s laughing. Horikoshi is laughing. The readers are all laughing. You’re laughing. Kid For One is shitting his pants while this cackling sleep paralysis demon gleefully chips away at his frail sanity, one frenetic BOOM at a time. And you’re laughing. :|

doo de doo, don’t mind me, just gonna scroll past the first couple pages of this chapter so I don’t get spoiled for the outcomes of all the other mini-battles I haven’t finished catching up with yet :’)

though I already caught a glimpse of a bloodied-up Shouji before I realized what was happening, so unfortunately that particular cat is now out of the bag. can’t believe the suspense of whether or not Shouji would survive his fight is now completely ruined for me. can you even imagine how tense it would have been wondering whether or not Shouji would get killed off. ...and you know what, even as I type this, I’m realizing that this is really not the type of sarcasm that translates very well across the internet, lol. and even if it did, it could just as easily come across as “WOW, MAKESTE REALLY DOESN’T CARE ABOUT SHOUJI AT ALL, HUH” sarcasm, rather than the “it’s not that serious guys, it’s just that there’s no possible way Horikoshi could ever convince me that he was actually going to kill off one of the kids” sarcasm it was intended as! so yeah. you know what, I’m just going to shut up about all this now and move on. glad he’s okay though

so now back to the Main Character Battlefield, where Kacchan is currently having way too good of a time for someone who actually WAS killed off by Horikoshi fairly recently

All Might is all “he’s so fast!” and yeah he really is lol. ngl, I had a fair amount of Kacchan endgame theory stuff riding on his ability to meaningfully upgrade his speed, so all of this is very satisfying to hear! and to be fair, I do wonder how much of it is owed to the boost from Gearshift as opposed to Katsuki’s own newly acquired exploding bloodsweat. but I’d like to think that even without GS he’s still incredibly fucking fast at this point. like easily still a Top 3 BnHA Speedy Boi

well shit lol now Edgeshot is reminding everyone that even prior to his “death”, Kacchan was briefly able to surpass Tomura’s speed with his upgrade

well there you have it! so yeah, that basically confirms he’s currently even faster than All Might was at his peak. just a homicidal little comet casually zipping around all of these other slowpokes

lol

just for the record, I still have no clue how Kacchan’s bizarre new upgrade actually works, but I am fairly certain that sweat is NOT SUPPOSED TO EVER DO THAT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

like seriously though Kacchan, doesn’t this hurt? like at all?

(ETA: hahahaha. ouch.)

well whatever!! if Tomura was able to bypass Erasure’s loopholes with all of his hand nonsense, then Kacchan’s sweat has my permission to zoom around inside his bloodstream and randomly explode inside him to somehow make him faster without actually harming him in any way, AND THAT’S FINE. the time for nitpicking ended roughly around the same time that a soft-spoken paracord man dove inside of him to forcefully restart his organs

LOL

“DON’T GET ME WRONG, I COULD EASILY KILL HIM ANY TIME I WANT! I JUST DON’T FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT RIGHT NOW, OKAY. THAT’S DEFINITELY WHAT IT IS, AND IT’S DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE HE JUST EXPLODED ME SO HARD THAT I SAW THE FOURTH DIMENSION”

meanwhile back in Dekutown it looks like Tomura has maybe finally broken free of his impromptu Blackwhip toddler leash

whatever man. how are you still not redeemed yet since I last saw you in chapter 369. you had like an entire year’s worth of chapters. get it together already!!

lol what in the actual fuck is “instadeath”

is this just a Funny Ha Ha fanscan way of referring to Decay?? or were there some additional Tomura quirk developments that I missed out on which were somehow even wilder than the infinityhands

Deku keeps saying that he’s for serious REALLY going to run out of Gearshifts now, but I don’t fucking believe a word this kid says tbh

it will be the “final one” once the fight is finally over, and not a moment sooner. if I know anything about Deku, which I do. and Gearshift, which to be fair I really don’t

-- oh, fuck yeah

what the hell is up with that swirly hand shit though, Kid For One. you better knock that off right now

OH MY GOD THIS FUCKING GUY FOR REAL THOUGH!!

:/ well at least this time you’re being ignored because he’s actually scared shitless of you. shh. don’t tell anyone

holy shit this chapter keeps hitting me with these random bits of information Destiel meme-style and it’s the wildest fucking thing

so while I did obviously clue in to the fact that something must have gone down in the Endeavor+Hawks+Toko+Jirou VS AFO battle, on account of AFO very clearly not being in Jakku anymore, I have not yet caught up to that part of the series, so I don’t actually know anyone’s status! hopefully they’re all alive and relatively unmaimed! although they very clearly failed at their One Job, but oh well

that being said, “AS STRONG AS DARK SHADOW” looooooool omg. DS what did you do. my boy left an impression. I cannot wait to read that, oh goodness

KFO YOU LITTLE TWERP, DIDN’T ANYONE EVER TELL YOU YOU SHOULDN’T LOOK DOWN ON OTHER PEOPLE OR ELSE YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR OWN WEAKNESSES

seems like someone ought to have told you that. could have spared you a lot of pain and agitation to come. more’s the pity

hee hee hee

hello there

so now my feral wolfchild is having a big internal monologue about how he’s finally mastered his new superquirk through the power of being an unrepentant masochist

fsdkfj. listen up Kid For One, he may be “nothing but a pebble”, but I promise you, if you could fucking hear this kid’s thought processes right now, you would already be halfway across the planet. living out the rest of your days in hiding while checking underneath your bed every night to make sure this little hobgoblin isn’t secretly waiting there to pounce at you

FSDLKFJSLDKJFL SDFLKWJEFLKWLF WLKJFLDKS

(ETA: you guys will never believe this but I found a sneak peak of the as-yet-unreleased soundtrack which will accompany this scene in season seven of the anime! SPOILER ALERT!!!)

ACTUAL GHOUL. I AM ACTUALLY SCREAMING. MY SON HAS BECOME GENUINE NIGHTMARE FUEL

THIS IS MY FAVORITE, FAVORITE, FAVORITE THING EVER YOU GUYS. HOLY SHIT. I CAN’T BREATHE OMFG

OUCH. HA! HAHA.

(ETA: once again, I know this sounds highly improbable, but I actually found some 100% authentic footage from the anime version of this scene! I’m telling ya. once this hits the airwaves minds are gonna be blown.)

HE IS THE “WHO” WHEN YOU CALL “WHO’S THERE”!!! HE IS THE WIND BLOWING THROUGH YOUR HAIR

you have to admit though, this really is the exact type of behavior you’d expect from someone who literally just got spat back out from the pits of hell

oh my god hold up what is this sudden tonal whiplash?

you guys I seriously had to sit back and take a deep breath and calm myself down for a moment, because Final Form Katsuki is just So Much. like actually just THE MOST. that I had to physically force myself to slow down and take these next few panels seriously and resist the urge to keep on making jokes about how CLEARLY EVEN HIS PARENTS ARE TERRIFIED. LOOK AT THEM. MASARU IS SOBBING AND MITSUKI’S HAND IS TREMBLING. IN THE WORLD’S MOST EPIC TWIST, AFO GOES DOWN ONLY TO BE REPLACED BY KACCHAN HIMSELF AS THE FINAL VILLAIN!!!

but yeah I had to stop and calm down from all of that because, oh. Masaru has his head in his hands. and Mitsuki’s trying to get him to turn around, but her hand really is shaking though. and it just really hit me that the two of them have spent the last... thirty minutes...?? swept up in the highs and lows of almost losing their child, and then getting him back, and then watching him be so strong and so good and SAVING ALL MIGHT and RESTORING EVERYONE’S HOPES AND DREAMS. and they must be so incredibly proud, but at the same time he’s still caught up in this fight, and the fight is still not over, and they know the tide could still turn again at any moment. and I can’t even imagine what that must be like. especially with them having already watched their son die once today

oh my god Horikoshi you cannot freaking do this to me!

goddammit. and now I’m all caught up in my Bakufam feels. DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI, THE MITSUKI TEARS WERE THE LOWEST OF BLOWS

and now Kid For One is once again whining about this “pebble” who’s pissing him off even worse than All Might. you love to see it!

OH MY GOD?!?!

oh my lord?! is it finally happening?? ARE WE FINALLY GETTING THAT SWEET, SWEET CONTEXT AT LONG LAST? WILL A MAN FINALLY HAVE A NAME??

-- Horikoshi I swear to god

YEAH NO SHIT. NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, THEY DO KIND OF BEAR A RESEMBLANCE. YOU KNOW, IF YOU SQUINT

okay, color me intrigued. so that is indeed why AFO was crying when we previously saw this flashback! this is actually so interesting to me, because it’s literally the one and only time he’s ever shown real emotion outside of generic battle-related stuff (anger, shock, surprise, etc.)

so he says Kacchan pisses him off because he looks like Two. and every time he gets reminded of Two, he remembers how his brother died. and, I guess, made him feel sad for the first and probably last time ever???

holy shit, Kacchan was right

he really is AFO’s Final Boss. like even more than he realized

*~*~*OH MY GOD*~*~*

HOLY SHIT YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!

OFA DOS PARTIAL NAME REVEAL AT LONG LAST!! FULL NAME REVEAL AND ADDITIONAL FLASHBACKS TO FOLLOW NEXT WEEK...?? YES? MAYBE? PLEASE????

I swear to god, if Horikoshi deliberately kept Two’s quirk and name Top Secret for YEARS only for them BOTH to wind up NOT ACTUALLY BEING REMOTELY SPOILERY OR WORTH ANY KIND OF SUSPENSEFUL BUILD-UP IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, I will. just sit here and be puzzled, I guess. lol. “sometimes I just like to fuck with people like that.” OKAY?? WELL GOOD JOB, THEN??

“Kacchan of the Bakugous” was so out of left field and I am grinning so, so hard right now. BAKUGOU NO KACCHAN. that’s officially the second Heroes Rising reference in as many chapters! sure feels like A Certain Mangaka is building up to a Certain Reveal about SOMEBODY maybe possibly still having SOMETHING which will remain unnamed for now, but which rhymes with “done for mall”! and that’s all I’m gonna say about that

except that it’s not, because I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also have fifteen other entirely different emotions about him proudly introducing himself to AFO not as Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, but as someone even more powerful. “BEHOLD, it is none other than I... Kacchan!!! ( •̀ ᴗ •́ )و lolo get fucked you big dumb fart”

heh. but seriously. just me sitting here basking in the fact that he uses the name Deku gave him. the fact that he decides not to go with his formidable, much-agonized-over hero name in this one moment, but instead chooses to use a far more terrifying moniker, even if AFO doesn’t realize the significance. because Dynamight is a hero, yes. one of the very greatest and strongest!

but Kacchan? Kacchan is the boy with a dream. Kacchan is the boisterous child laughing at the danger, unafraid of the challenge. smiling in the face of the tallest wall. Deku’s motherfucking Image of Victory. hahahahaha. ouch

anyway so yeah! what a chapter. this may have actually derailed me because now my brain just wants to write a bunch of character metas even though I STILL HAVE THIRTY MORE CHAPTERS TO READ. and not to mention I still have to actually post all of them as well lol. but whatever! we’ll make it work. long live Kacchan of the Bakugous, and may his Secret Menu Hero Name always strike fear in the hearts of his enemies

#bnha 406 #bakugou katsuki #all for one #ofa dos #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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biscuitblinkeu · 2 years

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Bon Matin!

Park Chaeyoung x Fem!reader - Not Requested

Fluff • Angst • Suggestive • Language Warning • Supernatural

Prompt: You went outside for a change. It was a “nice” experience to say the least. And something did change, just not in a way you could’ve wanted or predicted. Your life just got complicated. Especially when you get a bubbly new neighbor, who’s not what she seems.

When I tell you this just came to me randomly, and I wrote it during the course of school. And the title means “Good morning” in French.

………………………………………………………………………….

Your eyes slowly opened and you reached for your phone to check the time. Groaning when your eyes tried to adjust to its brightness. It was 8:49pm.

You dragged yourself off the couch and into your bathroom to freshen up. You felt like going out, something was pulling you to do it. And it's about time you do something with your life.You put on some comfy clothing and your sneakers. Bringing a small umbrella since New York’s weather can be rather unpredictable. And grabbed your keys, wallet, and then left the confinement of your home.

You walked along the sidewalks while occasionally stopping to look at the window displays. You walked into a small cafe, open for those who drown themselves in work and those who have trouble sleeping. The cozy vibe the cafe gave made you feel warm inside. You ordered an iced tea and a cinnabon roll, and then sat down at one of the cute tables to wait. You wanted peace and quiet but happened to be sitting by a semi-loud group of girls. So that's thrown out the window. You pulled your phone out so you would have something to do, and decided on playing subway surfers.

“Did you hear the news?...”

“....Yeah it's crazy.”

Your ears perked up at their little chat. You haven't checked the news since you've been holed up in your house doing nothing but sleeping and what not. You're definitely not eavesdropping though, they just happened to be talking loud. RIght.

“I can't believe how many bodies are being found in this area. It's even weirder that they can't identify them either.” The other girls agree.

“Based on the autopsy they're reporting…do you think vampires are real?” Their voice sounds worried. The rest of the girls give her a look and then obnoxiously laugh at her.

Vampires? Pssh.

“I'm serious!” She pouts. Then they start teasing her, going on about the Twilight show, and “if vampires are real, where's their Jake? If there really were werewolves” and you would laugh inside at that, if it weren't for the fact you were checking the news right on your phone. They weren't kidding about the news. But the news also says it could just be animal attacks, so it eases your worries a bit. But that's kinda uncommon in your area.

“(Y/N)” You get up and grab your order, leaving the cafe. You would stay and eat in the cafe, but you feel unnerved by that conversation and the news. You go to a nearby park with few people so you don't have to worry about noise, and eat while scrolling through twitter. After eating you throw the cup and plastic wrap in the trash, deciding to go home since it's getting late.

And because It's not safe this late at night.

You're in the middle of walking past an alleyway when you hear a bang. Making you jump in surprise. You hear the garbage bags rustling and a whiny growl sounds out. Sure, you're creeped out checking out a dumpster alleyway. But your good heart made you retrace your steps to check if it was a stray dog, knowing some people abandon their pets. Rounding the corner you see,

There was no dog.

It was two people fighting, a woman and a man, growling at eachother like animals. The man grabbed the woman’s throat in a way you’d think her bones were crushed and slammed her against the garbage dumpster. Making a dent. With the amount of blood running down the side of her head you think she’ll faint.

Wow, he’s super strong, she probably has a concussion. Why are you watching this fight? You don’t want to be a part of it now do you? You reprimanded yourself.

You began to turn to walk away but what you saw next had you rooted in your place. The woman recovered as if nothing happened and grabbed the man's arm that was still on her head and twisted it. His arm fell to his side and she kicked his legs in, making him fall to the ground harshly. A growl ripped from his throat and he bit her calf, then she kicked his face and you could see his eyes roll back.

While he was still out of it she brought her head to his neck and bit down, breaking skin. A blood curdling scream came from him but was cut off as soon as his neck was snapped and his lifeless body dropped to the ground. You grimaced hearing the thud. After a couple seconds the realization seeped in that this man just died. And you watched it all.

A bone chilling shiver ran down your back and you gasped at the foreign feeling. Wrong move. Her head snapped toward you, who now had a somewhat clear view of her face. You took note that she was kinda tall, and had blond hair, although you couldn't make out much of the rest of her face. Blood ran down the side of her head and mouth and you don’t know if it’s from the head injury or from the guy she just messily bit into. And snapped his neck. But you had only one strong emotion coursing through your body.

Fear.

That’s all you felt, down to your very being. The color drained from your face at the thought of you being next.

Human instinct kicked in and at her first sudden movement you sprinted off. You could be considered a track star. You rounded corners and leaped over objects laying on the ground, careful not to trip and fall like the idiots in movies.

“What the fuck was that.” Repeated over and over in your head.

Your heart is racing, the sound pounding against your ears, blocking any sounds out. Your lungs burn, feeling as if they're about to burst. Your legs feel like jelly and are aching so bad you wanna cry, but you don’t stop running. You don’t think you’ve ever run this fast before. Is this what they call an adrenaline rush?

You can’t get that scene out of your head, it’ll haunt you forever. It looked at you. She looked at you. They weren't Human. You're sure of it.

You couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched, even as you were nearing your apartment's street. You're glad you invested in a good housing complex. They won’t let anyone in if they don’t have a registration or sign a waiver that you know them and they know you.

You quickly opened the building door and rushed past the reception desk for the stairs. You won’t risk getting stuck in an elevator today. Teddy, the front desk man looked at you worriedly, seeing as you were usually a calm and collected person.

“Ms. Y/n? Are you okay?”

“Just fine.” You blandly, but politely responded, giving him a tight lipped smile and began your way up the stairs. There's four floors, you happened to live on the second, so it wouldn't take you long to get to your room. As you were walking down the hallway, you felt as if something was creeping up on you. You quickly fished your keys out of your pocket and unlocked the door with little effort. Slamming it shut, you'll apologize to the other occupants later.

You pressed your back tightly against the door, breathing in and out, desperate to get air in your lungs from all that running. Once you got your bearings you realized that terrifying feeling was gone. But you still saw things you shouldn't have- or what felt like you shouldn't have. You locked the door, windows, and shut the curtains, you wanted to feel safer and that helped a bit.

While you were getting your pajamas on, many thoughts ran through your head.

Why did she kill him? Is she gonna come after you now that you witnessed her kill? Are they human? Maybe there are vampires like the news said. It's not too far-fetched actually..

You let out a groan, nobodys gonna believe you- not that you planned on telling anyone since you don't want to be called crazy, and there's the fact you have nobody to tell anyways. Oh god. If you go missing nobody will bat an eye, well maybe teddy will, but still. You sighed, and slid under the covers, hoping you don't have any nightmares about what you saw, and closed you eyes.

Maybe your life will go back to normal.

11:25 AM

Your phone alarm rings, signaling it's time to get out of the dream world. And surprisingly, you didn't have any terrible dreams. The sun rays peaked through your curtains and you squinted to get adjusted to the bright light. You stretched, then groaned, forcing yourself to walk to your bathroom to brush and wash your face. You made your way to the kitchen to get some hot tea started since you are not a coffee person.

While you were waiting you got dressed and half made your bed. Walking back into the kitchen and grabbing your tea, you sat on your couch pulling a small cover over your legs since you just got a shiver. Just as you were about to click something to watch, you hear someone knock on your door.

“Coming!” You shout, scrambling to the door.

You open your door to a new face, one you haven't seen in the building yet. The woman was hands down the most prettiest face you’ve seen. She looks the same age as you, but stands a bit taller than you. She had smooth pale skin with beautiful eyes, and seemed to have an elegant aura around her. You almost gawked audibly, almost. Because that feeling came back, that feeling that made your heartbeat speed up and your hands clammy, that made you nauseous. That unsettling feeling from yesterday. And you didn't know why.

Then she smiled at you, which was adorable but made you feel two things. The urge to awe from how cute she was, and the more dominant feeling, which is to run away. Why? - You noticed she was holding a plate of cookies, that looked and smelt delicious might you add.

“Hello! Did you need something?” You said kindly, despite the stiff feeling coming over your body. She spoke.

“Bon matin!”

(Good morning in french.)

Would you like to continue?

#park chaeyoung #fem!reader #blackpink #fluff #fem reader #fanfic #romance #Chaeyoung x femreader #Chaeyoung x Fem!reader #Chaeyoung x fem!reader #rosé x reader #rosé x fem!reader #supernatural #vampires #horror?#blackpink x reader #biscuitblinkeu

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thesedangeroustemptations · 3 years

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Baki boy’s handling a S/O who randomly flinches at being unexpectedly touched due to their past

Hi guys! I haven’t written in a while and I haven’t gotten any requests, so I thought I’d write about something that I struggle with and that other people might as well! So, Trigger Warning is in effect for down below, if you think it might bother you, feel free to keep scrolling and I’ll see you around for the next one, have a great day <3

TW: Prior abusive relationships, dementia, anxiety, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and family issues

Baki Hanma:

The first time Baki notices it, the two of them are at school and he snuck up behind them to surprise them as they didn’t have classes together until after lunch, his hands resting on their hips and the moment he did this, they about jumped out of their skin.

He instinctively believes that something is wrong, and despite his brain telling him to bring it up in conversation, he didn’t want to possibly upset them. Simply rationalizing it as he snuck up on them, of course they’d be spooked. Anyone would be... right?

Wrong. This behavior continued at the most random of times; they’d be having a good time and then he’d move his arm too fast, the next moment they were flinching away from him with a frightened expression that they were consciously trying to control.

This was no longer something that Baki could ignore, and chose to approach the conversation as gently and casually as he could to not upset them too much, but it seemed by the tears welling in their eyes that this was a sensitive topic.

They explain about their relationship with their parents, how when they were living with them, they were physically abusive when it came to getting their way or discipline. Anything could be used as an excuse to hit them, not taking out the trash on time? Slap. Not doing the dishes and laundry before their parents got home? Smack. Seemed to be having an attitude when answering a question? Slap. Anything ranging to them ‘breathing with attitude’. So, when they were old enough and had enough money, they moved out and cut off contact.

Upon hearing this, Baki could hardly think straight, and it took everything in him to keep himself from finding them himself to give them a piece of what they put his beloved through, but he couldn’t do that.

He knew that the place he was most needed was right there, so he’d wrap his arms around their shakily breaking frame and hold them close to his chest, one hand rubbing their back while the other smoothed back their hair, gentle kisses peppering their forehead as he rocked the two of them.

He would never allow anything to harm them again, and if he ever got the chance to meet their parents... it’s game on. “I know it’s something that you can’t help, but try to remember as best you can that I’d die before I laid a hand on you in anger or allowed anyone else to ever again.”

Jack Hanma:

This man is nowhere near as patient as his brother, so the first moment he notices something is off with his partner and quick, unexpected movements, he confronts them and he wants his answers then, not the second time he asks, something he makes very clear. Jack doesn’t like repeating himself or vague answers.

However, what he wasn’t expecting was for them to tell him to mind his own business and stalk away as if he had done something wrong. This doesn’t sit well with the blonde giant, they’re normally very open and honest about nearly anything and everything with him, so this personality flip only deepened his concern.

Letting the pot simmer for a few hours while he worked to collect his thoughts on the matter, he would later find them in their shared room, an apologetic look etched into his expression which was a rarity held only for the likes of his S/O.

“I’m sorry... can you please just tell me what it is that’s upsetting you already?” He would murmur from the door, waiting like a puppy to be called over to the bed and as soon as he is, he clears the room in two strides, taking a seat beside them and wrapping his protective arms around them.

Jack doesn’t have much tact when it comes to this, but his heart is in the right place and his S/O can see that he means well, so despite his blunt approach, so the moment his arms wrapped around them, they relent and finally open up to him about their past relationships with their older siblings and how they would frequently be used as the punching bag, figuratively and literally.

Just as his anger was beginning to boil over, and he was ready to sit them down with a movie while he went out to have a ‘conversation’ with them all, they hit him with something that he hadn’t been expecting,

“You know, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have wanted to start training, and then maybe I wouldn’t have met you. So, I guess I owe them a thank you for giving me you.” They spoke with such sincerity, how could he argue back at that? Their hands gently cupping his cheeks as they smiled slightly at him, hoping to get one back.

It was with that, he felt every ounce of anger leave his body and all he could feel was love for the person he was holding. They had a point, there was no guarantee that they would have met outside of their shared love for the gym, so maybe he did have them to thank. Not out loud of course, because fuck them, all he cared about was what was in his arms.

Katsumi Orochi:

Katsumi would be one of the first to notice something was wrong with his S/O, he had known them for a bit of time before deciding to ask them to be his, so he had time to observe the way they interacted with others and the little tics that they had.

The first time he had seen it happen as when someone in his class had walked up beside them without their noticing and then spoke, earning them a clock to the face and a thousand apologies after that. Of course, he like Baki, would try to rationalize it as them being spooked until the issue persisted into their relationship, and they were doing it with him.

The first time it happened in private, he would catch their fist as it swung in his direction and pulled them close, speaking in as soft and soothing voice as he could while addressing the issue at hand. “I don’t want to upset you, in fact that’s my last wish, but I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

No longer able to run from it, they finally broke down and the two curled up in their shared bed while they went over their past relationship and how they were frequently met with physical violence at any time, ranging from a slap across the face, to a punch, to things further that they weren’t comfortable telling him.

This was what he wanted, he wanted them to tell him what was wrong, why they acted the way they did, so why was he so upset over knowing the truth? Seeing the tears welling in his S/O’s eyes and trickling down their rosy cheeks told him the reason; who could hurt someone so kind and gentle? It infuriated him, but he couldn’t show it, he needed to be strong for the person he loved when they needed him the most.

Wrapping his muscular arms around their frame, he pulled them closer to him and rested his chin on top of their head, eyes focused on the wall ahead of them as he listened to their breathing, reminding himself that they were safe with him, and there wasn’t a chance in hell of them ever harming them again; if they tried, that’s free anger management.

When the two of them laid down that night, he made them a promise that he would never let anything happen to them again, and that he would help them get their sense of safety back, that they wouldn’t have to react in such a defensive and reactionary way when the people around them would never hurt them. They didn’t understand fully just how seriously he would take that promise.

From that day forward, he would frequently remind them that they were safe, they would train harder and longer so they would feel as though they could handle themselves in any situation, and anytime they would start to feel anxious or out of control, he would hold them in his arms and remind them of the promise he made, and that he would never leave them alone to deal with this.

Kaioh Retsu:

This man would be the best out of all of them when it comes to noticing and reaction, not gonna lie. He didn’t need to see them flinch away from people, he could see the way that they would scan the room before making any movements, how they would take note of everyone else in the room with them and where they were, the consistently worried and alert look in their eye. It had him coming to conclusions of his own, and he was afraid that they would be right.

Would approach the topic after a night at home, the two in the shower and them flinching at his touch once he finally joined them in the water. He would bring it up gently, his arms wrapping around their body so that they would feel safe with him, pressing his toned form against theirs in an attempt to show that they are one.

“I love you, and I can feel when you’re upset by something, so please, trust me enough to confide in me. I simply wish to help you.” He would plead with them, his dark eyes showing nothing but sincerity and honesty to where his S/O can’t deny him.

Retsu would let them stray from the topic a few times before finally pressing the topic a bit more firmly, showing that he would not be relenting on this and that it would save them both some time if they just went ahead and told him what he wanted to know.

Gently stroking their cheek with the back of his fingers, his other hand still placed on their lower back and holding them still as he listened to their words, processing how they had been bullied when they were younger and dealt with physical attacks at school that no one did anything about, so they had to always be on guard and be able to run at a seconds notice, hence the flinching away at unexpected touching.

It made sense to him, it did, but what he couldn’t grasp just yet was why they hadn’t chosen to defend themselves, until they explained it was nearly everyone, so one against a huge group when they were just a child wouldn’t have ended well and he had to admit they were right.

Makes it his mission to make them feel as safe as possible, keeping them away from any type of danger or stressful situation where people would be moving at fast paces so not to trigger their fight or flight reaction and cause them anxiety. Retsu is very mindful of his S/O and makes sure that they’re comfortable wherever they go, and asks if there’s anything they need from him.

Also goes the route of teaching them self defense if they don’t already know any, and if they do, simply helps them sharpen them and shows them new techniques that might be more effective to use, but never once does he make them feel like they aren’t strong enough. He wants to build their confidence, and he knows the right way to go about it.

Kaoru Hanayama:

Kaoru’s S/O is incredibly private about their past, not wanting to let the poor guy in on anything about their prior experiences and why they act the way that they do or why they flinch away from people at the most random times. It’s frustrating to say the least, and whenever it happens, they give him a look that simply says ‘don’t say anything if you don’t want an argument.’

However, Hanayama isn’t the type to shy away from confrontation, and if he feels it’s something that’s detrimental to his S/O, you’d best believe he’s going to bring it up when he feels the time is right and won’t let up on it until he gets a satisfactory answer. Standing in front of the door and blocking it with his large frame to make his point clear as he stares them down with his shadowy hues.

“I’m not doing this to upset you or trap you here, I’m doing this so you’ll finally tell me what goes on in your head and how I can fix it. If you really want to leave I’ll let you go but just... please. Let me try and do something to help for once instead of shutting me out.” This is not the type of man to beg for anything, he’s head of the Hanayama gang after all, but when it came to the person he loved, he’s willing to do anything, even look like a lovesick fool.

Somehow, that finally got through to them, and they’d sit down on the nearest piece of furniture, be it a couch or bed, and begin to explain slowly, as if they would run out of air every few sentences, about their relationship with their abusive, alcoholic mother, and how she would ‘discipline’ her children in the cruelest ways possible, how it could be at the drop of a hat, over the most obscure and miniscule things, anything that she felt like.

Being the eldest child, his S/O was forced to endure the brunt of it to keep their siblings safe, things only ever happening to their siblings when they weren’t around, and how they aren’t understood by them now because of how they were raised effected them differently due to this dynamic.

His mind goes blank for a moment as rage seeps in and takes over, causing his large frame to tense from his position in front of the door; the only thought he had was on repeat: Kill that bitch. Kill that bitch. Kill that bitch. He had the men to do it, he had the strength to do it himself, he had the police under his thumb, he could really get away with this.

All of these thoughts flooded his mind and clouded his vision until he felt warm hands on his scarred face, earning his attention immediately as his vision cleared and all that he could see was the loving eyes of his S/O as they stood in front of him, a worried expression adorning their face. “Promise me that you won’t do anything to her, she isn’t worth your time or mine. What is, is going forward and leaving the past behind, okay?”

Fuck, they had him there. He was the one who wanted to help them after all, how could he do that by sinking down and doing exactly what was done to them to her? As much as he wanted to tell them that they were wrong, that they would feel better with her off this earth, he couldn’t. Instead, he wrapped his large arms around them and engulfed them into his frame, whispering quietly into their ear as he held them close, “I’ll never let anything hurt you again. Ever. I promise you.”

Kiyosumi Katou:

This man understands being twitchy, not liking being touched too much unless initiated and would respect that the moment he noticed that was the way that they were, and would have no complaints.

Until they started acting that way around him in private. They should know that he would never lay a hand on them, and gets slightly insulted that they didn’t register that.

That is, until they explain that it’s something that they’ve always struggled with due to their high levels of anxiety and that they’d spent years living in an unpredictable environment where they didn’t know if someone was going to start throwing punches or not, unable to defend themselves or fight back.

This took a moment to sink in for Katou, not sure how to react or if they were telling him the truth but then he remembers that they’ve never lied to him in the past and this was something incredibly serious, so why would they do that, right? (Tell me you have trust issues without telling me you have trust issues)

However, the moment that it did fully get through that thick skull of his, he is engulfing his S/O in tight hugs and not saying a word, allowing his actions to speak louder than his words for once in his life, knowing that nothing he could say in that moment would make the pain that they’d gone through go away, and it was insulting to try.

Holding them for the remainder of the night, he wouldn’t want them out of his sight for longer than a few moments to go to the bathroom or get food while they sat on the couch and watched whatever it was that they wanted, because they trusted him enough to be vulnerable and express a part of themselves that they didn’t trust many with, so anything they wanted right now, they were going to get.

From that day forward would take it upon himself to ask how his S/O was doing during the day, if he could do anything to help them feel less anxious or stressed whenever he could tell that they were having a bad day. Most would assume that because of his cunning and brutal nature that Katou wouldn’t be very smart, and IQ wise they’d probably be right, however, when it comes to emotional intelligence, he’s pretty spot on.

Keeps his S/O close wherever they go, his arm is permanently wrapped around their shoulder while they walk down the side walk or standing in line, his expression that of ‘I wil break your neck if you come near them with any bad intentions and I’m not afraid of jail.’

Hector Doyle:

Doyle isn’t one to show much emotion, on his expression or in his words, but he is incredibly observant, and takes in far more information than the average person would in a simple situation, so the moment he saw his S/O flinch their shoulder away from a friend appearing suddenly beside them, he took note of it and began to analyze.

Had that friend done something to upset them in the past that made them uncomfortable? Had they smelled bad and his S/O didn’t want to be rude by telling them? Several different things went through his mind based on that small interaction, and by the next time it happened with a different person, that it wasn’t anything to do with anyone else, it was you.

Now, the question is, what was causing his S/O to act the way that they had been? Obviously it was something that had been doing for a reason, and it seemed to stem from people either touching them or showing up without their knowledge, or swift movements by those around them. Could they have dealt with prior abuse? The mere thought made Doyle’s blood boil, but he didn’t want to jump to any conclusions without solid evidence or confirmation from them.

He’d bring up the topic while they’re laying in bed late at night one of the rare one’s he’s in heading to sleep the same time as them, given he’s a night owl and prefers the silence of night time and how few people were out, but he’s willing to sacrifice one night to get the answers that have been nagging at the back of his mind to get confirmation for.

“You seem to freak out at the smallest things, like someone moving their hand too fast near you, or touching you when you didn’t see it coming, even when it’s a friend or myself, what’s the deal?” Boy, he could not word that much worse if he had tried, and the reaction he got to such a topic being brought up in that way was to be expected; hostility.

“So, you’ve been sitting here observing me like I’m a lab rat in some experiment?” “What’s wrong with that?” A lot of things, and they made sure he knew it before deciding to give him the answers he’d been wanting to know so badly. It took them a while to find the right words, starting and stopping themselves several times but Doyle sat in silence, watching quietly as he waited patiently for them. He wouldn’t rush them, he’d already been an asshole with his approach.

After a long while of silence on both ends, they explained to him about how their grandmother had dementia while they were growing up and how she lived with them since her parents didn’t want to send her to a home, and while she was mentally deteriorating, she would get violent and throw things or blows, hitting his S/O several times in the head or body when they weren’t paying attention or fast enough, and so it’s become a reflexive habit.

It wasn’t as bad as he had thought, but still, the mental scars it seemed to take on his S/O were just as bad as real ones in his opinion, so he would start to make it a habit of keeping an eye on their surroundings and stopping anyone from startling his S/O before they had a chance, doing little things like moving slower or announcing his presence; would 100% deny it if his S/O brought it up. He might be a jerk who loves a good fight, but not with his S/O.

#baki the grappler #baki headcanons #baki hanma #jack hanma #katsumi orochi #kiyosumi katou #hector doyle #kaoru hanayama #kaioh retsu #trigger warning #tw

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ravs6709 · 2 years

Text

You'll Always Have A Home With Me- Hunter & Willow

Read on ao3 here!

@subrosasteath I have things to do but after you mentioned hunter seeing willow I couldn't resist writing a quick thing

Written as platonic, but can be what you want, really

Anyways! Spoilers for the latest TOH episode, Hollow Mind!

Warnings: panic attack, mentioned death (aka, warnings from the episode itself)

•~•~•~•~•~•

and then , Gus texted through Penstagram, he got super suspicious and was about to ask if it was an illusion he was talking to

what happened next??? Willow typed back, invested in the story.

and then viney came up n tapped him on the shoulder so he turned around and I RAN to take my illusion's place

Willow laughed—quietly, since it was the middle of the night and she was supposed to be asleep.

he didn't notice???

oh he did but I made an illusion of someone else running so it didn't look like it was me

you're so lucky , she began typing, but then there was a knocking noise. So her text ended up reading as you're sahmydadsatthwdpprbye as she quickly hid her scroll and closed her eyes shut.

One of her dads probably heard her laugh, so they'd want to see what was going on. But rather than the door opening, or a call to ask if she was awake, there was another knock. Then another, more frantic. Willow realized that this knock wasn't at her bedroom door, but the window.

That was weird. If it were Gus or Luz, they would have told her (especially Gus, who was literally in the middle of texting her!), and Amity wasn't really really the type to randomly come to her window in the middle of the night without warning (maybe in the past, but not now, not yet).

Willow quietly got and began opening the curtains with one hand, and readied a vine with the other. Another knock, quieter this time.

She opened the window, and someone fell into her room and nearly knocked her over. She used a vine to grab the intruder's arms.

"Who are you?" Willow asked, then realized something. This figure was familiar with blonde hair and red eyes. "Hunter?"

She had so many questions to ask, but stopped when he didn't say anything or resist the vines. His whole body shook visibly, and his eyes were distant.

"Hunter?" she called out, a little more quietly, releasing the vines.

His eyes focused a little bit, darting all over the place as he began to shake more.

"I shouldn't be here," he murmured. "I shouldn't have come here I need to leave I need to leave I need to leave now."

He turned to the window, but Willow was faster, using a vine to shut the window.

"Breathe," she said calmly, though looking at his worsening state didn't really make her feel calm.

"I can't go back but then he's going to find me I can't let him find me—" his voice cut off as his breathing turned worse.

"Breathe," she repeated. "Hunter, can you look at me?"

He looked at her, but it seemed like it took a lot of mental strength to do that much.

"Nod if you can hear me."

A few seconds, and he nodded shakily. That was good, if he could hear her.

"Can you tell me one thing that you see?"

He stood frozen, but after a few seconds, his head turned. "Your bed."

"Good," she said, "can you tell me two things that you can hear?"

He gave her answers, and she asked for more, asked him about what he could feel and tell from his surroundings until his breathing finally started to slow and he was no longer shaking. The only evidence that he'd been panicking in the first place was his eyes—red even around the iris, and his eyebags seemed worse than usual.

"Okay," she began. She used a vine to open the window again. "I'm not going to make you stay and tell me everything if you don't want to. But you can tell me what's wrong."

He looked at her with wide eyes, as if surprised by that. He turned to the window and took a step towards it. A part of her heart hurt that he didn't think he could confide in her, but this wasn't about her, this was about Hunter, and she gave him the choice.

To her surprise, he shut the window again and then pulled the blinds.

"I shouldn't be here," he repeated.

"But you came here for a reason," Willow said.

"I didn't… I didn't know where else to go," he confessed. "But you sent me your address a while ago and you were the first person I could think of—"

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Hunter closed his eyes. "I shouldn't, Belos will kill me."

"Well he doesn't have to know."

She grinned, hoping it would make him crack a smile or something, but instead his face contorted with frustration.

"You don't get it! If I go back to the Emperor's Coven, Belos is going to have me killed!" His eyes went wide as if those words came out by mistake.

Oh.

He wasn't exaggerating. Belos was… Belos was going to kill him.

"Wait, explain from the beginning," she said, because what. “And quietly, please.”

"I'm not—I'm not the first Golden Guard and he killed them and—and there were at least twenty masks and he killed them all and now he's going to kill me because I saw the truth—"

"Hey, breathe," she tried to soothe, and had him sot in the bed, "truth about what?"

"Belos has been lying about the danger of the wild witches and it was him all along!" he snapped, but hopefully it wasn’t loud enough for her dads to hear.

"Okay, okay," she said, more for herself than for him. She knew that there was something up with Belos because of Luz, but… but this? "What was this about other Golden Guards?"

"I… I… I can't say."

"Okay, that's fine," she said.

But she knew that whatever this thing was about the other Golden Guards, that was the more important part. That was the part that completely shattered Hunter. She could piece together some of the pieces already. Twenty Golden Guard masks. Hunter fearing Belos would kill him.

The thought filled her with rage. Belos was willing to kill children?

“Wait, how does he know that you know?”

“I was there, in his mind—the human was there too and we saw it and he told us the truth and—I can’t go back because he knows I was there.”

“Is there any way I can help?” she asked.

“No, this isn’t something you can help with. I shouldn't have even come here in the first place.”

“You’re right, I can’t do much,” she agreed, even if it sucked, saying it, “I’m just a witch who does plant magic, I can’t compete with the Emperor. What I’m asking is if there’s any way to make you feel better?”

Hunter looked at her strangely.

“Fine, just tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

Willow moved and gave him a hug. Not a tight, bone-crushing one, but a light one, light enough that if he wanted to break free he could do so easily. He didn’t move.

“What is this?”

“A hug,” she replied, not letting go.

His hands slowly made their way to her back, and honestly, it was a little awkward. But it was also comforting, and she could tell that Hunter felt the same as he began to relax ever so slightly. It was hardly noticeable, but so much better than how he was before.

Finally, she pulled away. “Do you want to braid my hair?”

Hunter looked at her blankly. “I don’t know how to braid hair.”

"I figured," she said, getting up to grab a hair tie, "the Emperor's Coven doesn't seem like the place to teach you that kind of thing. I'm not expecting you to do a good job, I wanted to ask if you wanted to brand my hair."

Hunter looked at the hair tie in her hand. "Fine. But don't complain."

"I won't even feel a thing, care to test that?" She turned her back towards him. "Split it into three even sections."

Fingers touched her hair, feather-light brushes against her scalp. She could feel calluses on his hands.

"Take the one on the right and loop it under the middle," she continued, "and then take it and loop it over the one on the left. Take the one in the middle now and loop it over the one on the right, then repeat. Over and under."

He followed her instructions, braiding her hair. It wasn't great, it was too loose at the top and she could tell when he accidentally lost track of where he was braiding from, but it was never about looking good in the first place. As he braided more and more, his hands shook less and moved faster and more steady, until he reached the end and tied it with the hair tie.

"This looks awful," Hunter said at last. "What was the point of this?"

"Don't you feel a little better?" Willow asked, turning to face him.

"I… I guess?" he replied. Despite his words, his voice sounded stronger.

"Well, that was the goal," she said.

"I…" he paused for a moment. "I need to leave now."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I can't go back."

"I don't know," he confessed, "but I can't stay here, it's too dangerous. I'll figure it out, I might know someone I can go to."

"That's good," she said. "And Hunter?"

"What?"

"You can drop by here anytime you need to. I won't mind."

His eyes widened, but the look was quickly hidden away. He nodded, and went back to the window.

"Be careful," she wished him.

"Thank you, Willow," he whispered, and then he was gone.

She stared outside at the dark sky. She really hoped that he was going to be okay.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Cannot guarantee I'll write more toh but if you wanna be added to the potential taglist, just let me know!

#willow park #hunter #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers #toh fanfic #ravi writes a thing

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shu-sakamaki · 3 years

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(TW : Bullying)

Random and dark headcanons about Shuu Sakamaki

If you are not comfortable with those themes please just scroll, I don't want to make anyone uneasy, it's for fiction and fantasies only, Shuu is in NO WAY meant to be portrayed in real life, he is not a good person and none of his actions are acceptable.

In which you're a bride living in the Sakamaki manor :

- His voice is really low, much lower and raspier than his voice in the anime, it just makes more sense to me because he's always sleepy and horny, sadly he's the one who speaks the less (like, sir, just keep your mouth open and never shut up 👄🔪)

- He's just so disgusted everytime Reiji come near him that he's always scrunching his nose for a split second and then furrows his brows as if he smelled something bad but it's just Reiji (🤣🤣) and four eyes get even more mad.

- If your staring at him for too long he will stare back at you and look at you up and down. Now, there's two type of look, there is the "gtfo of my face, you're burning my eyes" (which is kinda hot in its own way 👉👈) and the "I'm horny as hell, keep staring at me I will mount you, female." And I don't know how, but he notice everything, you can try and be unnoticeable by looking at him and then looking away but when your looking back at him again, he's staring right at your soul like 👁-👁 (sir pls stop you're scaring me)

- He have bedroom eyes like, 90 % of the times, Shuu always seems to be in his own reality with his closed eyes and earphones, he somehow look zooted (on sleep and sex uhu, anyways letmeshutup)

- He's the king of side-eye, if you bother his slumber he will give you the saltiest, hottest, coldest side-eye, it'll make you tear up. My theory is that he can make people crumble with just a look. (and that's on 💫trauma💫)

- Now that we're on the subject of tears, Shuu loves them (you monster) and try a lot of things mainly out of boredom and just to randomly see you cry because why not. And him being a teaser + dacryphilia is the worst thing you can ask for. Because when the oldest lay his interest on someone, I think that the rest of the brothers kinda back off to not make him angry (they're not suicidal gud gud) so you're just getting bullied by him and everyone is just watching.

- For example when you walk past him, he'll pinch your thighs and it always hurts so bad and leaves red/purple spots or just grab your wrist and hold it really hard till you cry and beg him to not break it. And sometimes he'll just plainly ignore you which can be worst because it's always leaving you with the impression that something's gonna fall upon you when you least expect it. (Not mister playing as the Fates) And if you try to avoid him, he's going to catch up on it pretty fast and suddenly you're seeing him everywhere and he's not going to limit his torture to the manor, even in school he will find ways to terrorize you. He will say the lewdest, dirtiest things to you like its nothing or will just sneak up on you and touch your butt in the hall. (You need to keep an eye on him like the bogeyman). It's just a game for him, he's bored and you're the perfect prey to toy with.

- Yeah also he doesn't care about consent... just like the rest of his demonic gremlins of brothers, resisting him just makes it more fun for him. But if you are actually getting aggressive like pulling his hair, slapping him or scratching his skin he'll put out his knife (he gon look at you like dis 🔵👄🔵🔪) and will threatens to kill you really slowly. A thing about his knife, is that admin once said that he's carrying it everywhere, so he can just pull it out of idk where and rub it on your skin, threatening silently to slit your throat at any moment. There is always that one kid who like to draw on people's arms with a marker in school, Shuu does the same with his knife, you have little cuts here and there because of him.

- He's manipulative and merciless, you can pour your heart out to him and tell him how something just broke you and he's gonna look at you like "and what does it got to do with me?" or just fall asleep on you. He picks a lot on your insecurities just because he knows where it hurts (he doesn't really think it, he don't care lol) and will talk to you with such a mocking/condescending tone, as if your stupid and its not like you can complain about it.

- Shuu appears at the most random times and just ask you to do things that HE'S supposed to do. And you can either do your thing and he won't care or be bothered that you disobeyed and will punish you. Admin mentioned it often, how one of the scariest thing with Shuu is the unlimited feeling of uncertainty, you really never know. One day he's cool with you and the other he's not.

- Remember when Shuu talked about seduction ? He said that its the difference between him and Laito. Laito thrives off people's fear and disgust of him and he will force himself upon them, and with Laito, you're mainly scared of him. But with Shuu, there is something quite exciting about him being around you and just giving you his attention. (Idk how to explain it, it's the Shuu Effect 🦋) Sometimes you can even feel like you have a choice, when you really don't. He's guilt-tripping you a lot of the time and you don't realize it sometimes and think that it's your decision, but honey...

- When he starts to get use to you, use to you taking care of him and use to your presence that's when the trickiest part comes up. He can either, get bored of you so he'll probably leave you alone giving green signals to his brothers to do whatever they want (or he kills you) or he's falling in love.

- You know that he's falling in love with you when he's more around you to the point when he's the only face that you're seeing and his brothers are just avoiding you like the plague, everyone does, it's like, even humans have a gut feeling that being around you won't bring them good because of the scary demon behind you. (Well if you listen to him it's more of a "You're the one obsessed with me and not the opposite" but yk), he's going to insult you every ten seconds because you looked at an alive being "I'm not looking at you for ten seconds and you're already whoring yourself out ? Pathetic." (But really, it's the poSseSsiViTy), I can also see him as being more touchy in a way but it varies, it don't necessarily mean that Shuu would go tender on you.

- He built a wall around him (like attack on titan type of wall duh, Wall Maria I see you 🙄) to block and repulse any being who wants to be close to him, so when he realizes that he's falling in love with you (and hard because Shuu don't have the concept of limit) he will probably get scared and would try to back off, scare you, being even more brutal because he need to know, need to be sure, how willing you are to be with him. He can't handle a deception and also I feel like he is pretty aware of his mental state and he is deeply scared of losing you and losing himself completely in the same boat.

- When he starts to really care for you, I think that he will start to have nightmares again, especially about Edgar and other stuff involving you because how scared he is. Which bring me to an article that admin about Shuu mastering aftercare, it's 100% logic that he's with you and whispering sweet nothing till he sure that you are safe and asleep with him.

- When his shell starts to crack, it's when he's going to be as his probably most vulnerable state when you can just see how much the paranoia, the possessivity and all the trauma cloud his mind. He will still try to test you for some time and just kinda...still observing like a predator (but with more of a lovesick turn) till he's certain that you will not betray him. And don't take it personally, that's just how he is, everything has been taken away from him, all the happiness, all the color were sucked out of his life, and when there is a real opportunity of getting this happiness back he doesn't play. Literally, Shuu can not handle losing someone important again or he will go full-on Kanato insane. That's why he drown himself in sex and sleep, to not think, that's why he always have sound in his earbuds, to not hear the silence. Its not Shuu's fault that Edgar is dead, it's not his fault if the German shepherd got killed, it's not his fault if his mother didn't took care of his brother, but he'll still take the blame. (Well maybe not for Reiji but you get it.)

Thanks to everyone who manages to read it through and have a good day and remember that you're loved and worthy ❤😌

((I honestly LOVE how you emphasize the canon aspect that Shu has NO LIMITS. Or he LOVES you to the point of obsession, or no deal. That IS Shu... And I'm scared about the person I'm becoming but the ones about how scary he actually is while statically staring at you?... Was hot... O///O ???))

#Ask #admin #shu #hc #fave #save #favorite #fav #sav

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uwua3 · 3 years

Note

Hello! Sunflowers hold a really special meaning for me so when i read the "sunflower dreams" My heart was so happy!! I havent felt this happy in a long time since quarantine started so thank you for taking the time to write it! It really made my day. If i could request a kazunari x reader where they're both artists that would be amazing. Maybe the reader can be a famous anonymous art influencer? Its up to you! Again thank you so much for writing "sunflower dreams" 💜

i’m so happy i could make you smile ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) it’s messages like these that absolutely make my day! thank you so much for taking your time to even read it, i’m glad to know it touched your heart ♡ i hope you have a good rest of your day—please know all of a3! love you vvv much!!! ｀･ω･)9 i hope this makes your heart happy just like before! thank you, anon, for everything

summary: every time you fell in love, you made a new art piece

author’s note: please smile from this absolutely soft and endearing kazunari fluff! in times like these where negativity is all around us, it’s good to take a break and purposely give yourself happiness. i hope this is a light in your day and makes you experience all the goodness of love! ♡ — concept based on “to all the boys i’ve loved before”

word count: 3,389

music: i like me better – lauv

to everyone i’ve loved before.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

you created art every time you had a crush so intense, you didn’t know what else to do

no matter how big or small it was, or how long or short it lasted, love is love. even if it was a random stranger you’d never see again or someone you knew for a lifetime, love is love

therefore, there was no exact total. because even if you didn’t remember every single person you’ve made art for, you clearly remembered what it was like experiencing the euphoria of love. the phenomenon of your heart selflessly beating for someone else. the attack of getting hit by cupid’s arrow out of no where. the rush of emotions unlike any other

love was everywhere and you made sure to create something that was a memory of it. that was when you decided to practice art after being unable to recall a person’s face a moment too long

it was your form of a love letter. a picture spoke a thousand words you couldn’t write, and art was the perfect way to convey that. online for everyone to see were your love letters in art form: portraits of everyone you’ve loved

you fell in love again and again, a new art piece posted soon over the years of your life. under the username, to-everyone-ive-loved, a lifelong project was in the works for all of social media to see

unknown to the rest of the world, you were the artist behind the blog “to-everyone-ive-loved” who created portraits from memory

but, you didn’t mean to fall in love with another artist as well

all it took was one comment and you were theirs

it was one of your most recent posts, a finished piece on a stranger you saw. you found yourself in veludo way, the ideal street to find people you’d never forget. after witnessing a sudden street act, only one actor caught your eye that day

you didn’t know his name, but you didn’t need to. you were in love

you immediately rushed home without a second thought, the inspiration and creativity infectious after watching him perform. something about his energy was wildly entertaining and bizarre, like a modern pop song as a person. he was effortlessly trendy, popular, and charismatic just from the few minutes you saw him

the moment he stood up on that street corner like it was a stage, all eyes were on him and he knew it. as you sketched into the day, you remembered the small details clearly. dirty blonde hair with no dark roots in sight, glittering green eyes, wide welcoming smile. he had the face of an actor, that’s for sure

when you posted it right after finishing, you didn’t expect any major attention. on average, your posts got 100 likes or so. while it was an impressive feat, nothing could’ve prepared you for that one comment

kaz-PIKO: i’m in love with your art ♡

as your popularity and fame grew before your very eyes, you clicked on his profile and realized it was him. the actor you had seen earlier at veludo way

you didn’t know what happened, but all you knew was you couldn’t forget this one person, miyoshi kazunari, no matter how hard you tried

no matter where you went, you couldn’t draw anyone else except that boy named kazunari. after scrolling through his entire instablam account, you found out he was an actor for mankai company’s summer troupe. he was a star in his own right, with a stage presence like the spotlight was constantly on him and a heart of gold

this was the first time you ever got so caught up on someone that they didn’t leave your mind. hours became days, and days began becoming a week before you let yourself follow him back

everyone you had ever drawn had never recognized themselves before. it was all because a follower connected the visual similarities between your art and kazunari’s unique traits that kazunari knew you had seen him before

if only he wasn’t a social media influencer with followers reaching the hundreds of thousands. at least, his popularity attracted attention to your profile...

this was a problem, however. because if you couldn’t draw anyone else, what could you do? once again, you stalked kazunari’s blog once again like it was a habit

it was never really a rule to make one love letter per person, but you never had wanted to make another for the same person. until, now

video after video. picture after picture. story after story. you could see kazunari’s face even when you closed your eyes. what about him made you daydream about him constantly? was it his charming voice that could make anyone stop and stare? his intricate piercings that were different every day? his ability to make you feel at home? whatever it was (or maybe it was an accumulation of everything and more), you had to draw kazunari again

when you posted it, you typically didn’t add more to the caption than the date and time. except this time, you felt like all your rules were being broken over someone who had no idea who you were

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 A.M.) — social butterfly

you watched it upload. it was a piece you had never done before. glowing butterflies of all colors surrounded the center of the masterpiece, a smiling kazunari

hopefully, this would solve whatever feelings you were having and the world would go back to normal. you’d move on, fall in love with someone else, and repeat

it didn’t work, because some time later, you woke up to a comment that made you feel the butterflies in your stomach

kaz-PIKO: like a butterfly, i’ll fly to you, wherever you are~ ☆

and for some reason, you wanted kazunari to find you

you had never felt so motivated to draw before. however, your muse was the same. a beautiful boy named miyoshi kazunari who was slowly capturing your heart without even knowing it. you watched the pages in your sketchbook lessen and lessen. the corners of assignments and napkins and anything in between was covered in doodles. if there was a writing instrument in your hand, something related to kazunari would come out of it

it was a fascination. a fixiation, even. you had only seen one performance before falling in love. was it because kazunari responded that it made you feel like you had a chance?

you wouldn’t admit it, but it was becoming embarrassing with how much you were staring at the few unread messages from kazunari in your dm box. they came in right after you had followed him back, and more arrived when you posted the “social butterfly” piece

what was stopping you from talking to your muse? you knew the answer without thinking: what if these feelings were real?

obsessions and crushes come and go, but... love, love stayed. there wasn’t any possibility you could love someone from afar without knowing anything about them, right?

but, then again... you did know some things about kazunari. you knew kazunari was the best actor of all time, with expressions and gestures the equivalent of art. kazunari was art—in every single way possible. everything about him made you want to draw and draw and draw

you only drew kazunari for a certain time, no matter which stranger crossed your path. people you knew you would’ve sketched simply became passer-bys, and it was all because of kazunari’s sunny smile that you were in love. or, what you thought was love

the more you thought about kazunari’s unread dms, the more you wondered what this was. why did kazunari make you so happy? was this truly the first time you were experiencing... a crush?!

for the first time since that street act, you found yourself in veludo way. while half of you was hoping you’d randomly bump into summer troupe’s moodmaker, the other half was petrified about how kazunari was a real person. a very much popular, recognizable person

it was the weekend, and the burden of university projects was telling you to go back and focus. yet, with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil tucked behind your ear, you were very much prepared to draw to your heart’s content

as you tried to flip to a clean page, you heard something that made your heart flutter. despite the noise and busy atmosphere of veludo, a distinct laugh was audible above the crowd. when you looked up, your eyes barely registered a deep blue jacket before walking straight into the person

you nearly tumbled to the ground before two hands steadied you, a surprised “whoa!” leaving their mouth before being followed by a gentle laugh. the usual embarrassment didn’t set in until you went to go thank the person, only to stop

oh my god. you had just bumped into miyoshi kazunari, your muse for the past month or so

kazunari grinned, even though it faltered slightly at your wide-eyed expression and awkward silence. he didn’t seem to mind as he adjusted his black top hat, pocketing his phone and confidently meeting your gaze

“i’m so sorry~! i hope you’re okay, i’m kazunari!” kazunari introduced and you realized he didn’t know you were behind to-everyone-ive-loved-before. you quickly adjusted yourself, pretending as if this wasn’t the highlight of your entire week

when you introduced yourself, kazunari’s eyes sparkled with interest as he easily led you into conversation. despite being a bit of a socially awkward artist who preferred being alone over anything else, kazunari was... comfortable. you didn’t feel self-conscious of how you acted, because he readily accepted how you were with a smile

was he like this was everyone or... did he find you to be a work of art, too?

standing off to the side, you finally noticed several members of mankai were advertising their latest play. bright, aesthetically pleasing flyers were being handed out to everyone walking by, and you seemed to look a moment too long before kazunari followed your gaze and suddenly snapped his fingers

“oh! are you interested in theatre?” you really weren’t, but you nodded anyways just to see kazunari’s excitement. he pardoned himself for a moment just to snatch a flyer, returning to show it off with a proud smile

“please come to mankai company’s summer performance!” kazunari’s smile sparkled and before he looked around to see if anyone was watching, he winked. kazunari covered the side of his face that was facing his troupe members, pretending as if you two were sharing some big secret

“plus, i’ll be there. if you come, i’ll make sure to do my very best~” kazunari bargained, even though you already knew he was already planning on wowing the audience with his charisma. you took in his genuine want to impress you and the butterflies came back

“i’ll come.” you agreed without even checking the date or reading anything. now all of you just wanted more & more opportunities as the person kazunari was surprisingly interested in, not as the artist who was basically in love with him

agreeing right away was worth it when kazunari shot you a grateful, blinding smile in return. you stumbled over your words with how taken back you were, but asked anyways, “do you like flowers?”

kazunari’s eyes softened for a moment, his usual energy suddenly gone before returning. he seemed genuinely moved by your question, and you wondered how many flowers it’d take to see him smile again like that

“i do, especially if they’re from you.”

“what kind?”

someone called kazunari’s name, insisting they were going to be late for practice. kazunari shouted back an agreement by telling them to go ahead first, before putting all his attention on you once again

“hibiscus.” meaning delicate beauty

before kazunari could ask for your socials, with his hand already reaching for his phone, you cut him off, hoping your voice wasn’t off

“next week. 7 P.M., mankai theatre. i’ll be there, front row.” you promised and took off, rushing off with a wave as kazunari stared after you for a second before waving back enthusiastically

as you left, kazunari was about to leave before he noticed something on the ground. it was a plain sketchbook, unassuming at first but it was nearly bursting at the binding with how many pages there were

when kazunari picked it up, he was about to flip to the first page before mankai called his name again, impatient this time. kazunari held onto the book and sent one last glance towards your direction before disappearing, hurrying to make sure the director wouldn’t penalize him for being the reason everyone was late

when you arrived home, you instinctually reached for the pencil behind your ear. at the same time, you put your hand in your bag, attempting to feel the familiar edges of your sketchbook

then, after turning your bag inside out and finding nothing, you collapsed onto your desk chair with shock and disbelief

you lost your sketchbook in veludo way the moment you met kazunari. what if he had it?

you drew another piece and stared at your screen, wondering if you should post it. it was kazunari once again with a yellow hibiscus flower behind his ear, the same gentle smile you couldn’t perfectly capture gracing his lips

you typed the caption and backspaced before settling on something that only you and him would know

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (8:01 P.M.) — delicate beauty

you hesitated before deleting the post a second after. maybe, you’d keep some artwork to yourself

kazunari had the sketchbook open next to his bedside, his phone in his hands and your profile open. he could recognize your art style a mile away, and the moment he saw the first sketch after practice, he couldn’t believe it

did this explain why he felt such a natural attraction to you? when you bumped into him, kazunari swore he could see the sparks flying. you made him feel like he was falling in love and you only proved him right when you two talked earlier. he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to see you again

was this what love at first sight felt like? kazunari giddily typed a message over and over again, the unread messages of his filling his screen

kaz-PIKO: heya!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ just wanted to say i LOVE your art fr!!! we should totes collab, you know???

kaz-PIKO: thanks for drawing me btw :0 does this mean you live near veludo? let’s meet up!!!

kaz-PIKO: ,,, i don’t usually say this but, that social butterfly piece was breathtaking. you must really like me, huh? (･ω<)☆ jk haha

kaz-PIKO: no but really, it’s beautiful. thank you, honestly. it made my day, you make me happy ♡

kaz-PIKO: you must be really beautiful, too. i would want to draw you as well. lmk if ur up for that haha

kazunari read back his previous messages, all of them delivered but unopened. he realized how... how open he already was with the anonymous faceless artist, despite never interacting with them

now that he knew what you looked like, it only reassured his intuition that he was rightfully head over heels for you

kazunari typed something before deleting it, closing out of instablam and throwing his phone somewhere on his bed

kaz-PIKO: i was right, you are beautiful. i may have fallen in love, too

some things were better left unsaid. after all, you two had until next week to figure everything out

for the rest of the week, all you and kazunari did were think about the other person. a small part of you was afraid kazunari wasn’t the dream boy you imagined, but he was much more. you noticed he started posting more often and turned his notifications, wanting to be one of the first to see his practice videos and university selfies

you didn’t post any of the art you made of kazunari, making it the longest you hadn’t posted ever. kazunari couldn’t help but refresh your account every now and then, hoping he’d see his face again, as selfish as it was. kazunari wouldn’t know how’d he feel if he saw someone else had your heart

the longer time went on, the more you were certain. every fascination you had with someone was temporary, and you remembered the feeling rather than the person. but, with kazunari, you liked him for who he was. everything kazunari made you feel was new and exciting, but even when that went away, you still liked him

kazunari was your first crush, for real

kazunari liked making people like him. so, your online confession through art wasn’t exactly a surprise. but, yours was different. it was earnest, honest, and everything he didn’t know he was needing

kazunari looked through your sketchbook again and again, tracing over the notes you wrote in the margins and admiring your skill

kazunari liked you, and he was certain he would’ve still liked you even if you weren’t to-everyone-ive-loved-before

when showtime arrived, kazunari was oddly nervous. peeking from behind the red curtain, kazunari could already see you were one of the first sitting front row, just like you said. he had practiced his lines a thousand times and summer was fully prepared, why was he nervous?

before he went on, kazunari ignored the urgency of the mankai staff and quickly texted a message to your profile, hoping you’d at least see the notification this time

kaz-PIKO: i like you, too

(when you felt your phone buzz, you quickly silenced it)

the show moved you to a standing ovation, just like everyone else in the audience. as summer walked out to bow and express their gratitude, you watched kazunari’s eyes search for yours as he tilted his head towards backstage. you nodded, knowing you’d do anything to see this kazunari. actor kazunari, who was on cloud 9 with his performance and glowing from praise

you wanted to see, to experience, to draw, all versions of kazunari

after the applause, you looked around backstage before feeling a hand on your arm, the feeling reminiscent of the first time you bumped into kazunari

“you came.” kazunari breathlessly stated, as if he was surprised. before he could say anything else, you presented him with a bouquet of hibiscus flowers. the same shade of yellow you drew him with

“of course, i wanted to see you again.” you honestly admitted, knowing it made you flustered. kazunari carefully took the flowers before grinning, gently placing then beneath his chin. he looked like a vision, you wish you could’ve asked him to stand still so you could capture this moment forever

“i wanted to see you, too.” kazunari softly said, all the energy of being on stage gone. it was tranquil and peaceful, like you two were the only people in the entire theatre

kazunari took a moment to admire you before realizing something, taking something from behind him and presenting it to you. it was your sketchbook on the bottom, but a smaller version was on top of it, signed in silver sharpie. kazunari’s signature was glittering like his eyes as you took it

“next time, let’s draw together.”

kazunari’s sketchbook was filled with you. anything from small doodles to encouraging messages was found inside, with tens of post-it notes of just thoughts about you. kazunari’s art was colorful and extremely out of the box compared to his usual traditional style. it made you smile

kazunari watched you flip through it, already knowing this was the greatest act of love he could’ve declared this early on. he anticipated for you to reach the end

when you landed on the last page, you saw a note

do you want go on a date with me?

“next time, respond to my dms! that way i don’t have to write everything~!” kazunari teased and you two shared a laugh, knowing everything was going to be okay

“yes.”

“yes...?”

“yes, i’ll respond to your dms. and yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”

eventually, you ended up closing your blog for good. your last post was a picture of you and kazunari, with one caption

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 P.M.) — to the one boy i love now, i love you

kaz-PIKO: i love you, too ♡

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

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timextoxhajima · 3 years

Text

Grounded: Level 8

Level 7 | Level 9

Member: Minho (Lee Know)

Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader

Taglist: @jaehyvnsvalentine @licorice526 @lolwhatameme @felixn-recs @yunapixie @rindomo @sleeping-hero-of-procastination

A/N: This chapter includes fake character idol profiles so please don’t attack me that your face isn’t there. No, I am not glorifying the fact that only korean girls are pretty, but this is in fact the most culturally accurate account of a fake profile I can create given the context.

WI5HES (위셔스) is a South Korean girl group under HYBE (previously known as BigHit Ent.). The group currently consists of Ju Rin, l/n, Ga Hyun, So Eun and Min Jung. WI5HES debuted on March 15, 2021 under HYBE. They are HYBE’s first girl group since 2014.

Stage Name: Ju Rin

Birthname: Wang Ju Rin

Position: Leader, Lead Vocalist, Sub-Rapper

Birthday: May 10, 2000

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Height: 167cm (5′5)

Weight: 48kg (106 lbs)

Blood Type: A+

Stage Name: l/n y/n

Birthname: y/n

Position: Main Dancer, Lead Rapper, Sub-Vocalist

Birthday: June 15, 2000

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Height: 164cm (5′4)

Weight: 49kg (108 lbs)

Blood Type: O

Stage Name: Ga Hyun

Birthname: Choi Ga Hyun

Position: Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper, Lead Dancer, Visual

Birthday: October 25, 2001

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Height: 170cm (5′6)

Weight: 51kg (112 lbs)

Blood Type: O

Stage Name: So Eun

Birthname: Kang So Eun

Position: Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, Sub-Vocalist, Center

Birthday: November 5, 2001

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Height: 172cm (5′6)

Weight: 50kg (110 lbs)

Blood Type: B

Stage name: Min Jung

Birthname: Gwang Min Jung

Position: Main Vocalist, Lead Rapper, maknae

Birthday: August 15, 2003

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Height: 163cm (5′3)

Weight: 46kg (101 lbs)

Blood Type: AB

“Five is better than three, annyeonghaseyo, WI5HES-ibnida!” The echo of your introduction rings through the dressing room, backstage of the MCountdown stage. It draws goosebumps from your arms and your back. Min Jung grits her teeth, attempting to contain her anxiety when she sees herself on stage through the recording for the first time.

So Eun’s sobbing into Ju Rin’s shoulder, and Ga Hyun has her phone out, randomly snapping photos of So Eun’s slightly smudged make-up.

“Yah, haven’t you taken enough?” Ju Rin wraps the rim of Ga Hyun’s phone with her palm, covering the camera, unable to contain her grin.

“Aw, come on!” Ga Hyun pouts, retracting her phone and wiping the lens with her sleeve. “It’s not everyday we get to debut.”

Knock Knock

“Who is it?” Ju Rin cranes her neck behind her, nodding for Min Jung to get the door. Already halfway down a bow, Min Jung opens the door to reveal a strange mixture of Hyunjin, I.N, Soobin, Yeonjun and Beomgyu.

“Oh, annyeonghaseyo,” Min Jung’s reflexes are to greet Hyunjin and I.N first.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” Hyunjin and I.N bow to the lot of you, and suddenly everybody’s bowing. “Congratulations on your debut!”

Ju Rin releases So Eun to receive the adorable box of cupcakes from Hyunjin and I.N.

“Chan-hyung and the others send their regards. They couldn’t be here today for a separate schedule.”

“Oh, we’re not the ones you should be reporting this to,” Ga Hyun snickers, pulling away from what looks like a handshake routine with Beomgyu. Eyes turn to you, forcing the blush on your cheeks to be of natural effect and not the make-up.

After the scandal with Yeonjun, things died down relatively quickly. More pictures of you training with the other members were released, diluting the idea that you and Yeonjun were dating. Furthermore, there was no other evidence of you and Yeonjun going out on secret dates that the company didn’t know about.

But of course, WI5HES and TXT know about Minho’s confession, and needless to say, they had to be reeled back under control.

“My God, it’s like you want Lee Know hyung to pass out from jealousy,” Hyunjin’s eyes narrow with mischief, holding out his phone screen to you.

“What? Why would he be jealous? There’s not a single person on that page that’s a threat to him,” Scrolling through the pictures absent-mindedly, you scorn at his baseless remark.

“He’ll be jealous solely from the fact that you look good in your photos,” Jeongin sucks on the upper row of his teeth.

“I know,” A shy smile appears on your lips. “We’ve had this conversation before.”

“Eugh,” Hyunjin shudders, shoulders reaching his ears as he groans in disgust. “Glad I wasn’t around for that conversation.”

“Anyway, thank you all for coming by our Debut Stage today, but we gotta head back to BigHit to handle some new scheduling,” Ju Rin’s waving her hands, telling the girls to pack up and for TXT to help.

Walking past Sunmi, Chungha and other idols while you make your way out of the building felt so strange and alien, you almost couldn’t believe you were at the end of your first promotion. You were an idol now, and there was no going back. Everything you did, every move you made - would be under public scruntiny now, regardless of the reason, whether you liked it or not.

“Thank you!” The bodyguard nods at you as he shuts the door. Sat in the middle with Ju Rin to your right, and the three younger in the back, you can smell the odd mixture of perfume and that strange scent of new costumes and clothes. BigHit - no, HYBE - had invested so much into your costumes though they looked nothing like the price they cost.

Then again, half of you were wearing YSL pullovers and Dior jeans.

“You okay?”

“Hmm?” Turning your head as it leans against the headrest, your eyes meet Ju Rin’s. “Yeah, you? I’m surprised you haven’t cried yet.”

Ju Rin laughs under her breath, glancing out the window as the car starts. “Oh, believe me, I’ve cried. I just don’t do it infront of you guys.”

“Aw,” The sides of your lips curl downwards. There’s a pinch in your heart you can’t take, only because Ju Rin has to keep up such a strong facade for you and for the rest of her members. She’s responsible, and time and time again she reminds you why she was chosen to be leader. “You know you can cry infront of us. You don’t have to act or put up a strong front.”

“I know, but I wouldn’t be able to see you guys crying tears of... happiness if my vision is blurred out by my own, right?”

You can’t contain the scoff that runs out your throat, eyes darting to look at the city outside, now coated with the drizzle that’s blurring the city sights.

“Fucking full of shit,” You chuckle under your breath, unable to hide the smile that’s stretching across your face.

Ju Rin snickers and purses her lips, reaching her left hand out to you. Her hand is warm and soft (from all the moisturizer products she’s using - HYBE’s trying to get her some make-up CF already), but the smile on her face is more home than anything will ever be.

Time to count the number of days before the world is made your home. Tours, meeting new people, inspiring others with your love for performance and dance, the same way you were inspired into chasing a dream that you didn’t even think you had a chance of achieving. Some might say it’s unfair, how the chance fell unto your feet all so easily, like it had been planned. It’s unfair that of all the crew members to be scouted, you were the only one.

But that wasn’t your dream. At that point of time in your life, all you wanted was to fulfil your need to be perfect in dancing; to be by Minho’s side. So, in some way, fate had pulled you away from him instead.

He didn’t tell anybody he auditioned for Cube. He didn’t tell anybody he’d auditioned for JYP before that either, only for JYP to call him back to be part of that cursed show.

And before you knew it, you had lost the one thing you didn’t want to lose: Minho. It was heartbreaking, watching him live his life of a dream that he’d been chasing without you knowing in the first place. You couldn’t decide if you were angry with him for leaving you out of his happiness or if you had simply convinced yourself he had forgotten about you.

But you caught yourself tripping over your own feelings of hurt and love when you realise you started searching for some bit of Minho in someone else, and you were lucky it was Yeonjun. Yeonjun who had a pure heart and nothing but kindness.

The things that could’ve happened had you searched for a part of Minho in someone else who might’ve taken you for granted.

Minho made up for that heartbreak though, when Hyunjin had told him you were alone with Yeonjun, walking to some desolate part of the building but only spotted Yeonjun coming back alone. Minho, who at that point of time already known you a good three (or was it four?) years, knew you well enough to know that you were somewhere sobbing your eyes out.

His scent when he had his arms around you was stuck in your nostrils for days and weeks because that was just how long he had spent being away from you. You didn’t even know how much you missed his scent until it was in your system again.

The risk you both had chosen to take that fateful day when the scandal of you and Yeonjun was released was of astounding magnitude.

Who the Hell confesses their love to another celebrity, so close to their own debut date?

“You,” Minho trills, almost crumpling the Uno cards on the table. The tears in the corners of your eyes are threatening to dribble over your lids, but then Changbin is sitting behind you on the sofa, trying his best to hide his laughter through his gritted teeth. “We’ll see if the two of you can still laugh after this.”

Minho picks up twelve cards with a disproportionate amount of strength, the cards nearly being folded under his fingers.

“Yah- hyung!” Changbin yells and points at the cards, glaring at the elder.

“What? You complain about me damaging the cards as if you can’t afford a new deck yourself.”

“This is our fifth deck!” Changbin nearly screeches, and the exchange forces you to fall to your back at Changbin’s feet, your arm clutching your tummy from how much it hurt from your laughter.

“Oh my God!” The words are struggling to leave your voice box, between silent giggles. “This- this is your- oh, my God- this is your fifth deck?”

“We’ll need a sixth deck soon! Can you tell your man to be a little less aggressive?!” Changbin loses his patience and gets up, hands sweeping the cards off the table and plucking Minho’s set out from his hands.

“Yah!”

“‘Yah’,” Changbin’s distorted imitation of Minho calls for the elder to surge to his feet, suddenly towering over Changbin who cowers on the couch behind you. “Ah- Ah- OkAy, take your stupid cards back-”

“I’ll get you a new deck if I destroy this one, but first I gotta destroy you.”

The finger in your face goes unnoticed when you laugh again, stomach hurting from the aggressive giggling.

“My God, she’s lost it!” Minho sings sarcastically, holding his hands to his head with the cards still in his palm. “No, quick, Earth to y/n, come back so I can win!”

“Eugh,” Changbin groans and squints his eyes. Minho never says these kind of things, so when he does, it’s weird, and unlike of him to do so, making it ultra-

“CriNGe!!!!!” Hyunjin yells at the top of his voice as he exits his room and heads for the kitchen. “Just get a room already!”

“HYUNJIN!” Chan’s voice booms from elsewhere in the apartment.

#lee know #skz lee know #lee know scenarios #lee know fanfic #stray kids #skz #stray kids lee know

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shattered-catalyst · 3 years

Text

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person. Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame. The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD. Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma.

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point.

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening,

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes.

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs.

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those. Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest.

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible.

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness. There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence.

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities. There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype.

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD. With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows.

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things.

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources.#*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

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smylealong · 3 years

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Fanfiction Recap

@terribleteej tagged me for a fanfiction recap. Well, I wrote quite a few, so brace yourselves for a long post. Keeping it all behind a “keep reading” so you don’t have to scroll down a LONG post. (fics are linked with the title)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Broken Hearts and Shattered Breaths - Thirteen years after the war, Sokka breaks into Zuko's courtroom with a plea to help Katara who faces certain death. Zuko abandons everything to rush to his friend's aid, but once there, he realizes that for Katara to live, he has to make a big sacrifice - one he is not ready for. Post War Zutara. (Finished)

Subterfuge - Thirty years ago, the Fire Nation attacked, throwing the world off balance. Katara entered the Fire Nation war camp at Ba Sing Se as a healer, prepared to do whatever it takes to play her part in stopping the war. Getting kidnapped with the Fire Prince and falling in love with him were not parts of the plan.AU. Zutara.This is the Zutara story I have always wanted to read but never found it anywhere. So I decided to write it myself. (Ongoing)

Sleepless in Ba Sing Se - Zuko did not sleep. Hasn’t done so in years. Spending the nights alone is getting tougher and tougher. But then, he meets someone else who also spends the nights alone. Together, Katara and Zuko are Sleepless in Ba Sing Se. Modern AU. (Ongoing)

Embers and Snowflakes- Six years after tragedy tore them apart, Katara meets Zuko at a party. Old feelings rise anew.- Modern AU. Zutara week 2020. (Finished)

Tease- Three one-shots where Zuko teases Katara. Non-canon compliant. (Finished)

My Country: The New Age

Knife- Nam Seon ho thinks after Nam Jeon's death, when Hwi asks him to live. (Finished)

My Brother- Consumed by his own rage, Hwi had failed to see the loneliness of the one he called his best friend. For the world, Seon Ho painted himself as the villain. And Hwi took his words at face value, never bothering to peel the mask and see what lay behind it. Seon Ho had inherited poison. He drank it, day in and out. Somehow, somewhere, the venom had to manifest. The poison had consumed Seon Ho, leaving behind this hollow shell. While Hwi had real venom running through his veins, corroding him slowly, Seon Ho’s venom had consumed his soul. Where Hwi realizes just how much pain Seon Ho hides behind his impassive, expressionless face and the cold persona. (Finished)

Forged in Fire- "Make your decision. Will you die by his hand or thrive in darkness?" Surrounded by fire and facing certain death, Nam Seon-ho makes a dangerous wager. One that works his way and now he has a talented Jurchen swordsman as a retainer. But months of rivalry cannot be set side by just shaking their hands. What happened after they escaped the burning hut in Uiju? This fic traces the duo's journey from Uiju to Kaesong. (Finished)

Save Me

Growing Pains- The unexpected appearance of someone from his past jostles Dong Chul, sending him spiraling into a dark place. While his ghosts come to haunt him, help comes from Im Sang Mi. Through his troubles, he learns that perhaps pain was a part of growing up. (Finished)

You Saved Me- Sang-mi might have left Goosenwon, but Goosenwon had not let Sang-mi go. The nightmare that began three years ago, continues. They had won the battle, but the war was still on. Only this time, the battle ground is Mooji and the weapon they have is friendship, love and law. - This series reworks bits of the last episode of Save Me and then tracks the events that follow after the fall of Goosenwon. Consider this as Season 2. (Ongoing)

The King: Eternal Monarch

Stolen Moments- How did Jo Yeong and Myeong Seung-ah end up together, hidden from everyone's eyes. (Ongoing)

The Untamed

Birth of the Yiling Patriarch- “This place is called Burial Mounds. It’s a mountain of corpses, an old battleground. You can dig up a corpse wherever you point your shovel. Countless, nameless corpses have been randomly wrapped up and tossed here for years innumerable. Look at these dark clouds. Isn’t the hatred strong? Isn’t the resentful energy thick? When a living person goes in, there is no return for either the body or the soul. Ah, Wei Ying. Let me see if you can keep smiling till the end.”Wei Wuxian is stranded in the worst place in the world. Surrounded by malicious entities and he is alone. Coreless and defenseless. Yet, he emerges victorious. This is how the the Yiling Patriarch was born. Alternatively: A chronicle of the three months that Wei Wuxian spends alone in the Burial Mounds. (Ongoing)

I tag @sadviper @avauntus @elciaisshrinking and @rain-hat for their impressive list. @arlothia you get double tag from me.

#year in review #fanfic #avatar the last airbender #my country: the new age #ocn save me #the king eternal monarch #the untamed

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not-close-to-straight · 4 years

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More Than Words (Ten)

This chapter requires tissues and the obligatory TW of (temporary, because it’s Wade and because we have 19 more chapters) Character Death. Also beneath the cut cos it’s a little difficult to read and I don’t want anyone randomly scrolling to be upset.

Tissues! (seriously) And if you don’t 100% hate me after reading, I’d love to hear what you think because I sort of love the end sequence!

MTW MASTERLIST HERE

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Wade didn’t think he would make it home to the cabin.

He must have faded in and out of living a half dozen times, blacking out and coming back to himself with a scream, every breath agony, the weight of the lion at his back terrifying.

Somehow, the Alpha got a hold of his hunting knife, somehow he wrenched his arm back far enough to slash through the muscle and sinew in the predators foreleg and make the beast scream in anger. It shifted its weight in a split second of shock and Wade took the knife in his other hand, heaving himself to the side and using the momentum to hack up and into whatever he could reach.

He couldn’t see through the red dripping into his eyes, could barely stand with one thigh shredded nearly to bone, but Wade still struggled to his feet, still pressed a hand to his torn side and staggered off in the direction of the cabin, bloody prints marring the snow with stuttered, sluggish prints.

He didn’t know if the cat was still behind him or if he’d wounded the creature beyond repair. All the Alpha could think about was getting home to his mate, to his Omega, making sure Peter was alright because that was the only thing that ever mattered.

He would heal, he always healed, he would heal and he would be fine but Peter would be alone in the cabin, alone and probably frightened----

“Pete.” Wade meant to yell, he meant to shout but the word came as nothing more than a wheeze, a desperate pant as he stumbled past the trees at the edge of the clearing. “P--Pete-- my mate--”

“Wade!”

Peter was too pale, leaning on the door frame as if he could barely stand on his own, and through the stink of blood and his own pain Wade could feel the terror from his mate, could almost feel the way Peter was shaking, sore and confused.

He felt it, felt the attack.

“Wade! Alpha!” the Omega ran to meet Wade, and then there were soft soft hands at his face, a panicked sob when his legs gave out and Peter nearly collapsed under his bulk. “Oh no no no, please. Please my mate, don’t do this. What happened, what happened to you? No no no, please. Wade? Wade!”

The last thing Wade saw was his mate’s eyes flood with tears, spill down over gorgeous freckles and onto beautiful, bite reddened lips.

“...Pete.”

“Wade?” Peter’s voice pitcher in terror, clanging sharp against Wade’s ears as he spiraled towards darkness. “No no no, don't close your eyes! Don’t close your eyes! WADE!”

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It took a level of strength Peter didn’t know he possessed to get the Alpha out of the cold and into the cabin. Wade was practically massive, thick limbs and solid muscles and when he was unconscious, all that mass was simply deadweight, heavier than Peter by almost a hundred pounds.

The Omega struggled and strained through every step, hooked his hands under his Alpha’s shoulders and dragged Wade through the door and over to the fireplace where it was warm. Peter couldn’t look at the smear of red left on the cabin floor, so he set Wade’s head down as gently as he could before running for blankets, blinking tears away as he went.

No no no, my Alpha. Not this, please not this.

He needed blankets, right? Blankets and towels and wait--the wash basin needed filled first and oh no, the pot above the fireplace. That needed to be filled first and set to boiling so he could disinfect rags for a compress. Rags had to disinfected, right? But first he should make sure Wade was comfortable, that was more important. A pillow maybe, or no no no wait he should try to stop the bleeding first, he had to stop the bleeding first---

“Focus.” Peter dragged his fingers through his hair and then recoiled in horror when he realized they were stained with Wade’s blood. “Oh my god-- oh my god---”

He was sick into the wash basin immediately, and fuck now that needed to be cleaned before he could fill it again and oh Jesus he did not know what to do.”

“Focus.” the word was a whimper. “Focus, Peter. Come on. Okay okay okay.” the Omega forced a steadying breath, then another and another. In through the nose and out through the mouth, in through the nose and out through the mouth until he wasn’t shaking quite as badly. “I can do this. One step at a time.”

I can’t do this.

“I’m here.” Peter whispered to Wade’s still form, over the doubt circling in his mind. “I’m here, I can do this. I can help Alpha. I can--” he closed his eyes and clenched his fists, willing away the last of the pain that had hit so suddenly before, the lingering migraine from when he’d passed out on the cabin floor.

It had obviously been a reaction to Wade being attacked, their souls linked so tightly that they shared pain and even though the migraine was nearly blinding, Peter still managed a tiny smile.

He was hurt because his mate was hurt, and if that wasn’t proof they were meant to be together, nothing was.

“I can do this.” He repeated, ad it was a little stronger this time, the reminder of their bond settling his scattered mind. “I-- I can do this.”

“Stay with me, Alpha. Stay with me.” Peter managed to fill the pot at the fireplace despite the still lingering tremor in his hands, and then he grabbed one of the extra sheets from the basket by the bed to tear into strips. Fingers at Wade’s pulse and the Omega choked back a grateful sob when he could still feel a weak heartbeat. “Okay my love, I dunno what I’m doing but I’m gonna try anyway okay? Hold on.”

It was impossible not to cry as Peter poured first water and then a measure of Wade’s moonshine over the would at the Alpha’s side. He didn’t know much about first aid, but he knew that alcohol cleaned wounds and he hoped Wade’s healing factor would negate any damage to surrounding tissue and muscle.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered when Wade seized up in pain, the Alpha’s body contorting in an effort to twist away from the burn. “I’m so so sorry, I’m just trying to help. Stay still, Alpha my Alpha, stay still.”

Peter cleaned the gouges with the warmer water from the pot until it ran clean into the cracks of the floor and then he gently gently wrapped the bedsheet around Wade’s abdomen, pushing the fabric beneath the Alpha’s back and pulling it out the other side until Wade was wrapped tight.

The gouge at Wade’s thigh had stopped bleeding already and Peter didn’t know if that was good or bad, but he was grateful for any reprieve, and made quick work of scrubbing away the dried remnants to see where the cut began and ended before cleaning it with alcohol and water again.

This time Wade barely twitched and Peter held a compress to the gash while he felt again for a pulse, cursing when it was even weaker than before. “Stay with me, love.” he begged. “Oh please, hold on for me. I can’t do this without you.”

There was a myriad of smaller cuts on Wade’s arms and shoulders and the Omega leaned in and lay a shaky kiss on one that had already healed in the time it had taken Wade to escape the cat and make it to the cabin. He cleaned the others as best he could, ripped pieces from the sheet to wrap Wade’s torn hands and up his forearms, and when all that was finished, Peter set to work pulling Wade’s boots off and cutting what remained of the Alpha’s trousers away.

The clothes couldn’t be saved, they’d require more sewing and material than Peter had on hand and he doubted the blood would ever come out. Even if the clothes came clean, he’d never be able to look at them again without remembering his Alpha bleeding out on the floor and--

Nope, can’t do that.

The clothes would be rolled in the ash from the fireplace and buried in the clearing so no other predators would be attracted to the smell, and once the sheets came off Wade’s injury, those would be buried as well.

He never wanted to see them again.

A pillow under the Alpha’s head, a bundle of blankets beneath the hurt leg, and Peter checked Wade’s pulse one more time before finally stepping away to wipe the blood from his palms and under his fingernails.

His tongue hurt from biting it so hard as he worked, the tremble in his hands had spread clear through to his core and as the Omega tried to clean up the mess near the door, this time he didn’t bother to quiet his sobs.

Tears mingled with the boiling water from the fireside pot and wet the rags with the rest of Wade’s blood, dripped onto the back of Peter’s hands as he scrubbed, burned in his eyes along with the fumes of moonshine as he poured the high-proof alcohol into the wooden slats to erase the reddened stain. The air was thick with the smell of looming death, Wade’s cedar and licorice scent buried beneath the stomach churning stink of despair and Peter--

-- Peter didn’t know what else to do.

He couldn’t leave Wade alone to get help in Haven, and even if Peter could ride Arthur or Bea, he had no way of knowing whether the pass down the mountain was open or not. There wasn’t even a way to get word to Bruce and somehow hope the Doctor could make it up the slopes to their cabin in time to help.

The ibuprofen in his pack could be crushed and mixed with water, poured down the Alpha’s throat to combat any fever but it might already be too late for that sort of thing, or Wade’s healing factor might cancel anything the medicine would do, which would make it a wasted effort.

The wounds on Wade’s shoulder already healing was a good sign and Peter clung to that tendril of hope with his entire heart, even as makeshift bandaging turned scarlet over the deeper wounds and the Omega knew in his soul Wade wasn’t healing fast enough.

He could keep the fire going all day and all night, there was plenty of wood and plenty of kindling so at least he didn’t have to worry about that. The goat had already been milked for the day, the chickens and horses taken care of only a few minutes before Peter had returned to the cabin and then collapsed when Wade was attacked, so chores were done at least until morning.

Peter could concentrate on cleaning up the cabin, on keeping Wade comfortable, on making sure there was always hot water around to disinfect the next round of bandages. There was one more sheet that could be torn to strips and then the Omega would use the more worn out of their clothing, Wade didn’t actually keep much moon shine on hand, but there was enough for a second round of disinfecting in case an infection set in.

Peter could have sold his soul for a proper first aid kit with gauze and disinfectant and supplies for stitches, but even as he wished for better tools, he knew it was a moot point.

He didn’t know what to do, and the overwhelming helplessness of the entire situation sent Peter back to the wash basin on his knees, gagging and heaving as he was sick all over again.

He didn’t know what to do. Wade was lying there maybe healing, possibly dying and Peter didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to sew a wound shut even if he had the needle and thread, and other than keeping pressure on the deepest cuts, he didn’t know where to go beyond the first rudimentary bandages.

Two months Peter had lived in this timeline and other than the initial panic attack, he hadn’t worried a single whit about how he would survive. Any insecurity was hushed by Wade’s expertise, any worry rushed away by the Alpha’s reassurance of age and experience and Peter had grown comfortable, maybe even confident in his new found life.

But now his Alpha was unconscious, barely breathing and steadily bleeding through the bandages. His scars were too pronounced on too pale skin, not even the sunshine through the windows and the firelight able to bring a healthy color to his face.The broad chest Peter loved to snuggle up against was rising and falling only barely, the thick arms limp and powerful legs useless.

Peter didn’t know what to do, and for the first time since that first, fateful day, Wade wasn’t able to help.

I’m sorry, Alpha. I’m sorry I don’t know what else to do.

Peter carried the wash basin outside and washed the sick from it, rubbing snow around the bowl and scrubbing at it with a piece of soap, swishing alcohol around it for good measure. The simple chore and the bracing cold helped to settle his mind and gave him a break from the awfulness of everything in side, but even as he gulped in deep breaths of clean air, Peter didn’t dare linger too long.

Back inside, Wade was still and pale and Peter dragged the chair up close to the Alpha’s frame, then settled cross legged on the floor and lifted his mate’s head up into his lap. Careful careful fingers down Wade’s cheekbones and along the sharply defined jaw, and Peter lingered over the barely there pulse for a long minute before flattening his palm over Wade’s heart and closing his eyes.