#that includes dream btw. dream is not special to him. imagine being dream | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yourmcu · 3 years

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Body Pillow

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary:

Natasha finds you cuddling a body pillow. In your dream, it’s actually her you’re cuddling. It’s Christmas Eve too.

Word count: 1,600

A/n: I’m takin a long time to post but I’ll get em out soon! I hope! thanks for 200 followers btw :))

Warnings: fluff, sleep talking

It’s not a surprise to anyone in the compound when they find you sprawled on your favorite sofa in the lounge. Of course you had a room, but you just love it so much that you’d rather sleep there most of the time. Especially after or before your favorite holidays.

Bidding Sam and Bucky good night as they're the last ones to turn in, you ask Friday to dim the lights and to turn on a Netflix show. If you’re ever wondering why no one stays with you for a movie night or something it’s because you’ve had too many already, and most of the time you don’t mind being alone anyway.

After two or three shows, you finally fall asleep.

Few hours later, Natasha walks across the lounge to get to the kitchen, not all that fazed when she sees a lump shaped like you on the sofa. Though she stops in her tracks when she hears a faint voice coming from your direction.

“Nat,”

She decides that she’s just hearing things, or you probably saw her come in then drifted back to sleep.

When she’s about to return to her room, you speak again.

“Nat,”

She decides to reply this time. “Yeah?”

You don’t respond back immediately. So just in case, she walks up to the sofa to see if something's wrong.

Your hands are wrapped around the side of the body pillow and it's slightly bigger than you. The whole blanket is wrapped around you as well, so Natasha could only imagine how comfortable you are in your sleep.

“You give the best hugs, Nat,” you murmur, still fully asleep, oblivious of the same redhead witnessing it in real life too.

Everyone knows you’ve developed a lil something for Natasha. Does she know? Yes... and no. She refuses to believe you like her that way. If you do, she wants to hear it from you, not from the testosterone of the team.

But seeing you so adorably vulnerable and cute, in a way, it makes her heart flutter.

“I do, huh?” Natasha chuckles from above you and leans down to kiss your hair. “Too bad you’re gonna have to get up soon.”

“Aww, no,” you whine, snuggling closer to the crook of her neck.

Natasha just stands there and tries to process it - you, her teammate and close friend, is dreaming about her. It’s normal, right? Even she has dreamt of the others, including a weird one where Tony and Bruce were riding unicorns-

She flinches when you make a movement, but you just make yourself more comfortable on the pillow, sighing contentedly.

Obviously she’s giving you a good time in your head. Natasha believes she could do better though. If you ever ask her to cuddle, she’d make sure. Am I really jealous of myself right now?

The opening and closing of bedroom doors shake her from her thoughts. She clears her throat and walks back to the kitchen to wait for Wanda so they could make breakfast together. It the day before Christmas, after all, everything has to be special today and the next day.

Wanda enters the kitchen moments later, still a bit groggy from her slumber but she’s in a mood to make a good breakfast. As the pair gets started, they hear a yelp that sounded like yours from the lounge.

“Ow! Tony!”

“Wakey wakey,” Tony teases, defending himself from your playful punches. “For gosh sake, you need to stop having sleepovers by yourself here - you sure you don’t want that sofa in your room?”

You grumble and walk out of the room to get dressed, taking your blanket and body pillow with you.

The lounge and kitchen starts to get occupied by the inhabitants of the compound. One of them being you, out of your pajamas and in a casual Christmas sweater. You greet them with the usual good mornings including Natasha.

“Good morning,” she drawls out. “Sleep well?”

She's curious on how you’d react. But of course you don’t think much of it, you don’t know that she knows what you dreamt about.

“Yeah, it was... nice,” you try to play it cool, avoiding her eyes to pour yourself a glass of eggnog. I mean, look who’s asking. And the fact that she was just about to kiss you in the dream before Tony so rudely interrupted-

“Bet it was,” Natasha smirks after Steve grabs your attention to point out your favorite comic strip on the newspaper, thinking you didn’t hear her.

You chuckle at the Christmas-themed edition of the comic but your gaze returns to Natasha not long after because you did hear her. Maybe she was just being Nat but yeah, the dream was nice. Too nice to be real. You sigh and sip on your drink, getting lost in your own world as Tony loudly rambles about a party to the group.

It was just you and her, so many blankets, watching movies. You don’t know or remember what film specifically, everything was a blur except the way she held you.

As a kid you never got that much affection physically, so every hug from your friends means a lot to you. Well, especially the ones from Natasha.

You couldn’t bring yourself to admit how you feel for her. The men constantly tell you to do it, that it wouldn’t hurt to try, but you’d rather have a close and friendly relationship with Natasha rather than an awkward one just because she didn’t feel the same about you.

The thing is, you don’t know if she shares those kinds of feelings. That’s what Bruce was nagging to you about. ‘You won’t know until you try, until you tell her-

“Y/N, you with us?”

Your hand involuntary twitches as you snap back to the room. “Sorry, yeah. What’s up?”

“Well, instead of a usual party, we’re gonna have a movie night,” Tony says, stealing a piece of food from your plate. “Thoughts?”

You sent him a look but chuckle, “haven’t we already had enough of those?”

“But it’s Christmas!” Tony insists. “And we’re watching Die Hard.”

Steve frowns. “That doesn’t sound like a Christmas movie.”

-----

“Alright Cap, it may not sound like a Christmas movie to you but it’s one of the best.” Sam jokes and plays the movie once all of you have settled.

The theater room is dim and composed of two large sofas, one in front and one just behind it, and a table filled with food. You're one of those who occupied the second sofa behind along with Clint, Wanda, Vision and Natasha. The rest fought for a place up front, which took a while to be honest.

“Hey Nat,” you mutter, eyes not leaving the screen but you do see her from the corner of your eye claim the spot beside you, the one at the edge of the sofa. She gives you a warm smile and makes herself comfortable.

An hour into the movie only the men seated at the front are fascinated by the fighting scenes. Well except for Clint who's seated at the other end, pointing and asking Sam questions about the plot. Wanda and Vision are half asleep leaning on each other, you and Natasha are the only ones calmly watching, probably because you’ve both seen it many times.

You make a sound when Hans Gruber appears on screen again. “Did you know that’s the same guy who played Professor Snape?”

“What?” Natasha chuckles.

“From Harry Potter,” you reply, smiling to yourself. Then you turn to her, “have you watched any of those movies?”

“I’ve heard of it but, no.”

You tilt your head at her, slightly surprised. “You should watch them with me sometime. I prefer the original source material but the films are good on their own.”

You wish you could photograph the way Natasha smiles at you. She’s all smiles today. I wonder why. “I’d love that.”

A loud explosion echoes throughout the room along with yells that sounds like Tony’s and Clint’s, making you yelp and scoot closer to Natasha. She wraps an arm around you instinctively.

“Guys, turn the volume down,” she calls out. Silent chatter fills the room once it turns into a more calmer scene, and Tony told Friday to lower the volume. “You okay?”

Her arm is still wrapped around you and you want nothing more than to hide yourself in the pillow you’re hugging out of embarrassment. “Yeah... m’good,” you manage to say while holding a yawn. Natasha tugs the blanket more snugly over both of you.

“You can sleep if you want,” she speaks softly. “I think they’re planning on watching all the Die Hard movies until dawn.”

“That’s crazy,” you breathe out. Your eyes are starting to droop and your yawns became frequent.

You know that cozy feeling when the room’s cold and you have a warm blanket over you? That’s one of your favorite things (the other one being Natasha).

There are only four of you left on the back sofa since Clint moved to the front. At this point your head rests on Natasha’s chest while she plays with your hair, and one of your arms loosely wraps around her waist. You exhale, falling asleep entirely.

Natasha admires how adorable you slept on her. “I hope this is better than your dream,” she murmurs, gently planting a kiss on your forehead and getting drowsy herself.

You snuggle closer to her, as if it was to say, it is.

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cutesuki--bakugou · 4 years

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Reckless

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal), biting, scratching, breeding, very minor mention of blood, degrading, dirty talk Words: 7812 Pairing: Dragon Fantasy AU Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Taking huge risks was never really your thing. All your life living in the castle, you always followed the rules of your role, never stepping out of bounds and never taking chances. You had always thought about it, asking for a different position or perhaps more pay, maybe even just a change in shift. But, in the end, you always decided that, not only was it not worth the possible outrage your superiors could slam upon you, but you could lose what made your position so absolutely wonderful. A change in your work life could rip you away from the presence of your Lord, who you had grown very attached to in an obviously one-sided romantic connection.

Working with him multiple times during the weeks he was present at the castle was like a dream you never wanted to let end. As a scholar and war strategist, you were his first line of contact when it came to important political or wartime plans, and you cherished the contact and respect he had for you. Your Lord wasn’t one to trust people easily, but with you, it was like he could share even his deepest worries and secrets without worry that you would betray him. Never in your life would you even consider doing such a thing, because in truth, you loved him.

There were many reasons why you shouldn’t be so enamored with him, but in the end, all they did was make your desires stronger. To the world, to his people and enemies, he was a ruthless brute. Conquering lands and expanding his territory was his constant goal, and even at his young age, he had been incredibly successful. His people respected him, his warriors would die for him, and his enemies cowered at his feet. It was so incredibly attractive to you, to watch him in action and know that you were helping him on this journey, that you were the one to help push him forward. No matter what other opportunities you knew you had, if you were to just simply ask, there wasn’t a chance in hell that you would take it. You didn’t take those risks because you wanted to be here, at his side as much as you were allowed.

Bakugou Katsuki was your Lord, but he was also the man that made your knees tremble with just a simple glance. He made you soft and filled with such a longing that made your chest ache terribly, and you craved to feel his hand against your skin. Anything would do. A simple touch on your arm. A brushing of his fingers against yours. A secure grip on your hips. A rough tug of your hair in his fist.

No, no! You couldn’t let your thoughts go that way. It was highly inappropriate for you to think that way of your Lord, even if he was the most attractive man you had ever laid eyes on. Your thoughts on him could click from cute to extreme lust in the time it would take you to blink, and they did so frequently, no matter how you tried to stop it. That adorable fluffy blonde hair matched with that piercing crimson gaze always had your heart racing, and the thick, muscular figure didn’t exactly quell your urges.

You tried everything you could think of up to this point to get over him. You saw other men who were just as equally built or with similar personalities, but none of them could match up to the way he made you feel without having ever even laid a finger on you. You could imagine in the moment that it was him touching you. Fucking you. They could quench your thirst when it was unbearable, but it was just never enough. You wanted to know what it was like to be closer to him. But how could you?

You had tried, with subtle hints or during moments of casual conversation that came up during your meetings. An innocent batting of your eyelashes or brushing of your hand along his arm that was, of course, completely accidental. A flirtatious smile. A sultry giggle. A peek down the front of your corset as you bent over the maps to talk strategies. In the end, it was impossible. Sure, you had caught him peeking at your skin or your curves when he thought you weren’t looking, but that wasn’t enough to convince you he was even remotely interested.

Although your body was on fire for him, it wasn’t all that you wanted. There were cute things about him that you had seen during the times you were alone with him. The way he covered his mouth when you said something that could make him laugh, or the excited grin that would break his face when you gave him good news. You had caught him napping on occasion, and his expression was so soft and calm. You knew there was more behind the short fuse and anger he carried, and it was something that you hoped to see one day. The softness that he had within him was fiercely protected, not only to keep up this image that he was a brutal man, but also because he just wasn’t ready to share those parts of him.

Especially not with someone whom he wasn’t romantic with, like yourself. He was calm and collected around you, sure, but that could purely be from the nature of your professional relationship. But what if it was more? What if he was really and truly comfortable around you? You could only hope so.

Hope wasn’t really working for you, however, and the longer you waited to do anything, the bigger your fears grew that he may pick a different woman. Bakugou was a Lord, someone who would need to have heirs to pass his lineage down to, and that meant that he would eventually need to have a wife and children. He had talked about it a few times with his advisors and counsel as far as needing there to be someone in case he was killed in battle or some other tragic event. Each time, he blew it off, but never gave any hints as to why he wasn’t actively searching.

Although he didn’t want a wife, that didn’t mean that he didn’t have women at his disposal. Being a very frustrated man, much of his stress relief was in the form of sex, and he had plenty of handpicked concubines to serve him. There was a special magic done on each one of them so they could not get pregnant by him, and that procedure was highly regulated by Bakugou and his advisors to make sure there would be no illegitimate children. In truth, you weren’t sure of the exact number of women he had at his beck and call, though you knew it was at least in the double digits by now.

There was a very good reason for that, and it wasn’t just because he grew bored with the women. Bakugou was dragon kin. That meant that he had powers, abilities, and features of a dragon while he was able to keep a mostly human form. Those included enhanced senses such as eyesight and smell. Sharp canines and nails that he tried desperately to keep trimmed. More strength and stamina. But, your favorite was something that you’re pretty sure he wasn’t even aware that you knew.

He purred. This strong, gruff, and rough man would occasionally purr. A deep, low rumble in his chest during moments of true relaxation or happiness. You had heard it a few times, when you caught him sleeping before a meeting, resting his head on his arms against the table. It was truly the most adorable thing you had ever heard, and you wondered if he was dreaming about something - or someone - special.

There was something less adorable that came along with his bloodline, and that particular thing was what affected the number of women he had in his life. Ironically enough, it was the urge to mate. He hated talking about it, so you didn’t know much, but he was frustrated how he felt like nothing but an uncontrollable animal during those few months. It was so difficult for him, in fact, that he locked himself away in his chambers until it was over, if he was able. If he had war or political things to attend to, then it was a decent distraction. But, when he didn’t have that, then all he could do was hide away with his women.

That’s why there were so many. His needs and urges were nearly insatiable during this time, and even if they could go for a while, the women would eventually need a break. It was an almost constant rotation, though you were never sure of exactly what went on behind those doors. You were free to imagine it in the comfort of your room, hand between your legs as you pictured him absolutely ravaging you from behind.

Although the thoughts of what he was doing in that room made your body incredibly hot, it also worried you. What if he had a favorite woman that was stealing his heart before you could even have the chance? They were all his body type, since he had picked them in the first place, and they were obviously fluent in how to pleasure him. What if they had a personality he liked, too? If that were so, how could you ever find a way to stand out or get his attention?

Well, you knew how.

You had to take a risk.

A huge one.

And that just wasn’t your thing.

That didn’t matter. If you wanted your chance with him, then you knew that you had to put yourself out there in a more… obvious way. You had to show him that you wanted him. Subtle hints just weren’t going to work anymore, if they had worked at all up to this point. It was time to literally jump into the lion's den - or, in this case, dragon’s den - and offer yourself to the beast. And, in reality, that wasn’t an exaggeration. He was in peak rut season right now, and from what you heard, he was absolutely feral. In fact, it was so intense this year that the male servants he had bringing him food had to literally run away before he ripped them to shreds in a territorial rage. There were even rumors that he was showing signs of dragon features that were rare for him, including scales along his skin. Those were just rumors, as far as you could tell, because some said he didn’t and some said he did.

It was of little consequence. You would see for yourself.

Although Bakugou was impossible to please during this time, he still kept up a schedule of sorts, and after some spy work, you learned that he actually had been sleeping most of the night and his concubines didn’t start showing up to his room until sunrise. That meant all you had to do was show up before that time. Right? An hour or two before anyone shows up would be plenty of time to see if he’d either take you or reject you.

So, dressed in nothing but a shift and a coat, you silently made your way through the castle to his chambers, avoiding others who may try to question you. Since it was so early in the morning, before sunrise, there weren't many people out, so the journey was less stressful than you had prepared yourself for. Though, you wished you had done more prepping to have enough bravery once you reached the entrance to his room. You had decided to not go through the main door, and since you knew the route that cleaning servants took and the location of the hidden door, this was a perfect plan to avoid being caught.

Even still, it took an incredible amount of courage to finally place your hands against the cold stone, nibbling at your bottom lip nervously. You had thought of everything that could go wrong already, and of course, it was rushing back to you like a violent storm. You could be fired. You could be killed. You could be banished. You could be simply rejected and forced to continue your normal life with an incredible sense of shame and regret. You could fall only further in love with him. He could admit his feelings for you. He could use you for his own uncontrollable sexual pleasure.

He could accept you.

That’s what kept you from running. There was still hope that he would take you as his woman, which you wanted more than anything.

You just prayed that you weren’t going to end up biting off more than you could chew.

After a final trembling breath, you carefully pushed the door open, just wide enough so you could fit through before shutting it behind you. Since it was made to be quiet, there was barely a sound in the dim light of the fireplace, which was blazing across the room. Soft, warm heat rolled across the large room, bringing relief to your cold bare feet and legs. In the flickering shadows, Bakugou’s large bed loomed over the room like a large hungry beast, the posts tall and reaching for the ceiling. The footboard that you could see was very ornate, with dragon bones, horns, and scales, which matched the color of the canopy drapes that hid the man inside.

Or, it would have. Much to your surprise, you could see rips and tears in the fabric as you stepped closer, which you assumed came from one of his many lustful sessions. There were pillows and blankets also scattered across the floor, abandoned in favor of sleep, and the remnants of his last meal were sitting on a table near the head of the bed.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

The dark growl of a voice startled you so badly that you jumped, stumbling back against the wall, eyes darting this way and that to find the source. In the darkest corner of the room, you could see Bakugou’s shadow-cloaked figure, his reflective pupils visible as he glared at you. Feeling heat rush to your cheeks as you tried to calm your racing heart, you placed your hands on your chest, keeping pressed up against the wall. Before finding the strength to answer, you looked over what you could see of his figure, only able to tell that he was perched up on a chair with his legs pulled up into the seat. It was a stiff and uncomfortable position, as if he were forcing himself to stay in place.

“I… I, uhm… Why are you awake so early?”

“Are you fucking serious? You’re walking into my room in the middle of the damn night, and you’re asking me why I’m awake?”

“I… I had just heard that you were having more trouble than usual. I hadn’t heard from you about any of the strategies I sent in and… I got worried.” You could hear the bullshit in your own voice, and you wanted to just bite your own tongue off. Already, you were chickening out of your plan, but his aggressive presence was more radiant than you expected. It was throwing off the small amount of confidence that you had gathered, which you knew you needed to get back as quickly as possible.

A low rumble escaped him as he lowered his legs to the ground, the growl sending a harsh shiver down your spine. It was so aggressive and intimidating that you nearly felt the need to cower down to the ground, but you kept yourself up on weak legs. It was odd, how he was both frightening you and filling you with a raging lustful fire at the same time.

Clutching at the front of your coat, you stepped away from the wall, but was once again startled to a halt by his voice.

“Bullshit. I know you. You’d just send a letter instead. That’s what you’ve always done when I’m like this. On top of that, you’re sneaking around the servant’s halls like a rat.” His teeth were visible as he snarled, clutching on tightly to the arms of the chair. “You think you’re being slick, huh?”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“Yes, you do. You wanted me alone. Sneaky, figuring out my schedule and getting in here without anyone noticing. I’m both impressed and pissed off.”

“I… You’re right. I did want to come see you when no one would bother us.” Giving your bottom lip a nervous nibble, you began to unbutton the front of your coat, able to see him only further tense in his chair. “I wanted to… ask you something.”

Bakugou couldn’t take this. How in the hell could this really be happening? This had to be some type of dream, a hallucination brought on by his unquenchable need to breed. How could you actually be here, in his room, at the peak of his rut. It was so dangerous, and you needed to leave. Now, before he lost what little control he had. He wanted to tell you, to snap at you to fuck off, but the words just wouldn’t leave his lips.

He was too enamored already. Your scent filled his senses like the aroma of a delicious fruit, one which he craved to sink his teeth into and let the juices drip down his chin. Just the sight of you made him dizzy, so disheveled and vulnerable.

Unexpecting and unaware.

Beautiful and stupid.

So fucking stupid.

As your coat was shrugged off your shoulders, more of your scent wafted over him, forcing him to further dig his claws into the fabric of the chair to keep himself in place. With the light from the fire, your figure was visible to him as a silhouette beneath your white shift, giving him just a taste of that beautiful body he craved. If only you knew how badly he wanted you. How badly he had always wanted you. But it just hadn’t ever been the right time. He had never made the move.

Now, here you were, tired of waiting and willing to put yourself in such a compromising situation. Your years of flirting, teasing, and genuine care for him was always something he paid great attention to, and the feelings weren’t unwelcomed, like you must have assumed. Of course, he knew it was his fault for refusing to take that step you both craved.

Still…

This wasn’t the right time.

“Tell me what you want,” Bakugou growled, his heartbeat so loud in his ears he could hardly even hear himself. It pulsed through his entire body to his crotch, his cock already hard and straining painfully against the fabric of his sleeping pants. “You’re fucking stupid for coming here. Don’t you know what I could do to you?” Tell her to leave! “Don’t you know what’s wrong with me?” I need to throw her out! Fuck, I want her. I want her! Damn it!

Letting your coat fall to the floor, you took a few steps closer, swallowing the hard lump that had grown in your throat. “I just can’t wait to find out anymore, my Lord.” Growing shy, you timidly fiddled with the fabric of your shift, your body growing hotter with his reaction to the formality. Bakugou’s breathing grew incredibly heavy, his head hanging as he tried to not look at you.

“Don’t fucking… call me that… Don’t say that!” He spoke with a trembling, angry growl. “Just fucking tell me what you want!”

“Y-you! I want you! You oblivious jerk!”

“Oblivious?!” Bakugou barked, standing up so roughly that the chair toppled backwards behind him. The volume of his voice and the movement startled you enough to make you take a few steps back, bringing your hands up to your chest defensively. “I’m oblivious?! You moron! Look who’s just waltzed into my room knowing damn well I’m dangerous right now.”

“I don’t care,” you stood your ground as Bakugou began to come towards you, his hands balled into fists at his side. “I’m not scared of you. I know that you wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want.”

“You’re smart enough to know that I’m not completely myself right now. I don’t know what I could do.” His tall and broad stature was incredibly intimidating as he got closer, breaking your tough front and making you stumble over your feet stepping backwards. It wasn’t only his form that caught you off guard, but the intensity of his glare and the patches of crimson scales that broke his skin along his cheeks, chest, and shoulders.

It was true, what the servants had said about him. This was the worst he had been, probably ever, and you were truly curious as to why. Was his body really beginning to grow desperate to have an heir? Was the need to impregnate and breed worse because of his natural instincts, or was it because he knew who he wanted as his mate and he just hadn’t been able to have her?

Your back was once again pressed against the cold stone of the wall as Bakugou pursued you towards it, and in the next instant, you were trapped by his arms on either side of you, palms pressed against the rough surface. He was so close to you that if you relaxed your body, your chests would touch, and it was hard enough to keep the distance as your breathing grew heavy. “I… I know. But I don’t care. I came here now b-because… because you couldn’t ignore me or brush me off so easily.”

“That’s fucking bold of you. Reckless.”

“Why is it so reckless?” You relaxed a little, the warmth radiating from his body calming your momentary fears. “Other women can be with you… Why can’t I?”

“Are you serious? You’re comparing yourself to one of my whores? To a bitch I can snap my fingers at and have her at my feet? You think that lowly of yourself?”

Confused, you gave a small shake of your head, feeling an odd fluttering in your stomach. “That’s… I don’t mean that. I mean… it’s safe for other women, why couldn’t it be safe for me?”

“It’s not safe for them. Why do you think I have to rotate? I could hurt them. I have, however unintentionally. You’re not like them. Don’t compare yourself to them like this… It pisses me off.”

“Why?”

“Because I respect you.”

A fierce heat rushed to your cheeks, spreading across your skin to burn your ears and even your eyes. You had wanted this type of response from him, but it was still such a shock to hear it. Not exactly the love confession you were wanting, but it was something, and he hadn’t forced you out of the door just yet.

But there was something else, paired with his response that made your heart race. That glare, so dark and frustrated, had softened into what you could only describe as… gentle. There wasn’t a single crease or frown line on his gorgeous face, bringing such a sweetness to him. Even his pupils had relaxed, the thin reptile like slits now wide and blown out. There was more than just respect in that gaze.

“My Lord,” your voice hitched as he tensed at the formality, shifting half an inch closer to you as his pupils constricted. “There’s… more than just respect. Isn’t there?” Your final question wasn’t confrontational. Instead, it was worried, seeking the affirmation you had dreamt of.

“Of course there is. But I can’t do this now.”

Heart sinking, you slowly and carefully brought your hands up to caress his cheeks, but they didn’t stay in place long. The instant you touched his skin, Bakugou grabbed both of your wrists, forcing your arms up over your head against the wall. It was so quick that you barely had time to register what was happening before he began to speak again, a deep growl that you could even feel reverberating in your chest.

“I said I can’t do this now! Don’t just fucking touch me! You don’t understand!” Although he was saying these things, his body was betraying him, pressing in closer to you, one leg slipping between yours to further keep you in place. “I’m not me right now! I’m a fucking animal.”

“T-That’s not true!” The position of your arms was making it difficult to find the breath to speak, unable to resist wiggling in his grip uncomfortably. Your thighs clenched around his and your chest ached up against him, your lips permanently parted against your panting and struggles. “This is you! It’s a part of you, My Lord--”

“--Don’t call me that!”

“-- You have to accept it. I accept it. I want to be here for you.”

You had to stop. Bakugou had to make you stop. Somehow. He wasn’t going to be able to control himself much longer. That beautiful flushed and pleading expression. Your plush breasts pressing against him with every breath and wiggle. The scent of your arousal fogged his mind with every breath and he could hear your heartbeat, so rapid and desperate. He knew that he needed to make you stop this, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to stop.

No, at this point, he didn’t think he could stop. How much he adored you was swirling with the fierce need to fill you with his seed, to fuck you for hours on end until you were absolutely filled to the brim. He wanted to mark you, sink his fangs into your soft flesh, taste your sweet essence, and hear you scream his name.

More than anything, he wanted to have you as his mate. His lover. His queen. All these years of having you by his side had always felt so natural, like you were always meant to be there. Now, he had you, so willing and accepting of him even in his darkest moments. Was this really okay? Could he really let himself take you now, when he was unsure of what was love and what was lust?

Frustrated, Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his eyes shut tightly to alleviate the red from his vision. Trying to restrain himself so intensely was beginning to grow painful, his muscles and joints aching from the need to just devour you. Even your lips barely brushing against his was enough to send shocking tingles through every nerve, urging him to taste you.

I shouldn’t do this.

But I need her. I want her!

I could hurt her! She doesn’t know what I could do.

She’s not protected by the magic… She could become pregnant--

“Katsuki.”

The sultry sound of his name coming from your lips instantly snapped his restraint like a twig, not even opening his eyes as he kissed you roughly. The feeling of his hot lips against yours made you immediately melt into him, moaning softly with the first rough nibble to your bottom lip in a demand for access. The kiss was sloppy and wet, with little direction except the mutual cravings to taste each other. You couldn’t help but wonder for a moment if he kissed the other women like this, so fierce and passionate, with an unrelenting aggressiveness that made you feel weak in the knees.

Unable to move or find a moment to breathe, you began to struggle again, trying to tug your arms down out of his grip to at least be able to hold him. You had no luck. Instead, he moved to grip both of your wrists with one hand, his other roughly gripping your neck and pressing you back against the wall with a frustrated growl. “You trying to escape me?” His lips left yours, pressing against your flushed cheek with a wicked smirk. A low rumbling began in his chest, a deep and hungry purr that was completely different from the sweet and innocent sound you had heard in the past. “My little pet… You can’t get away, now.”

A soft whimper escaped you, biting down onto your bottom lip as Bakugou ran his tongue along your cheek to your ear, leaving a hot trail of saliva in his wake. “I-I’m not…” You relaxed your head back against the stone, looking up at the ceiling as his tongue slid along the shell of your ear. The pain of his teeth pulling on your earlobe was paired with the pleasure of his knee pressing up into your sex, your clit immediately met with the friction of his pants as there was no underwear to create a barrier.

Able to feel your heat against his leg, his purr only grew deeper, his hand leaving your throat to move down your body. His touch was hot and rough, caressing your figure and digging his sharp nails into your plush areas that he deemed worthy of a squeeze. You couldn’t help but continue to whine and wiggle with the slight pain, only further pleasuring yourself against his leg. “K-Katsuki--”

“Don’t be shy,” Bakugou spoke in your ear, his hot breath running down your neck. “You want me? Show me how much of a horny bitch you are.” His hand set firm on your hip, his teeth lightly scraping along the skin of your jaw. “C’mon, pet. You were so desperate to have me, now you do.”

God, your body was so hot. Every inch of you felt like a raging inferno, and the fire had nowhere else to escape but between your legs. Your sex was throbbing and aching, absolutely begging for his touch. The need was too much, so you began to roll your hips, grinding yourself eagerly against his leg.

“That’s it,” Bakugou released your wrists, tugging your body in closer while still forcing you to straddle his leg. Now, however, each roll of your hips had you pressing into his cock, his girth impressive from what you could feel. Your head free for the moment, you took the chance to look down, eyes glancing over his muscular torso before focusing on the bulge in his pants. The grey fabric was taut against the form of his cock, and was dark with wetness from where you assumed the head to be. You wanted to touch him, to feel him throb in your hands, but you found that they were otherwise engaged.

You were forced to hold on tightly to his shoulders to keep yourself balanced, since Bakugou was doing little to help you. He had both his hands on your ass, holding and squeezing while you fucked his thigh. His lips were still at your neck, growling and panting against your skin with each moment of pressure against his cock. Listening to him, you started to feel lost in the moment, loosening up to instead wrap your arms around his neck. Though, with a sudden rough bump of his leg into your sex, you released a loud moan near his ear, which was quick to set him off again.

Taking the back of your shift into his hands, he ripped the thin fabric open, exposing your back to the chill of the room. “A-ah, Katsuki-- Wait--” Removing his leg from between yours, you found your front pressed into the wall, the torn shift falling in loose rags against your body. Standing behind you, Bakugou kept one hand on your back between your shoulders to make sure you couldn’t move, while his other trailed down your back and to your hip. He left light marks along your skin from his nails, but those really weren’t what he was focusing on. That perfect curve and dip in your back. The shape and plushness of your perfect ass. The light glistening off your skin where your essence had spread across your sex and down your thighs.

“So pretty,” Confident that you weren’t going to move, he released your back to grip your ass in both hands, spreading you open to see every inch of you. You couldn’t stop the twitching of your pussy at his touch, his thumbs so close that your body instinctively arched out more for him. The effort paid off for a moment, his thumbs slipping into your folds to pull your pussy open nice and wide for him. “Fuck… How many other cocks have filled up this pretty pussy?”

Turning your head a bit to look at him over your shoulder, you caught his piercing glare, feeling your core twist at the sight. “N-not that many… They can never satisfy me.”

Leaning forward, Bakugou pressed his lips roughly against your cheek, his hips grinding into yours and digging the length of his cock against your sex. “And none of them ever will,” He growled into your ear. “You’re mine. And once I’m done with you, all you’ll be able to think about is my cock. You’re going to be so fucking marked up and covered in my cum no other man will ever think about touching you.”

“I don’t want any other man. I only want you.”

“Good girl.” Another lick and bite on your ear made you moan softly. “My little pet… My pretty mate.” His hands left you for only a moment to pull his pants down, finally freeing his hard and throbbing cock. It came to rest for a moment between your cheeks, giving you a decent look at it once he sat up from leaning over you. His length and girth matched the size and muscular figure of his body, making your entire body quiver with a mix of excitement and worry.

“S-so big…” Your voice came out as a trembling whisper, though you had expected it to stay in your mind as a mere thought. Bakugou chuckled, slowly running his tip along your wet slit, teasing your clit.

“We’ll see if it’s everything you’ve dreamt about.” Without any further warning, Bakugou began to push his cock into you, the tightness of your cunt pulling a sharp hiss from his mouth. “Oh fuck…!”

The feeling of him entering you immediately made you feel breathless, gasping and digging your nails into the stone wall. “A-ah, wait--! It’s so big! I-I’m not,- I can’t-!”

“You said you could take it, my pet. So take it.”

With a sharp snap of his hips, Bakugou buried himself completely within you, making you cry out and nearly collapse as your knees tried to buckle out from under you. There wasn’t another second that passed before he began to fuck you, holding your hips steady with a fierce grip. It was so much at once that your mind was already going blank, the initial uncomfortable feeling of being so incredibly full beginning to morph into an unrelenting pleasure. It left you completely breathless, barely able to find the strength to stay standing. All you could do was moan.

“How does that cock feel inside you, huh? You like being fucked like the horny bitch you are?” A rough slap to your ass made your voice squeak, and you somehow found the conscious strength to look back at him over your shoulder.

“I-it feels good! M-my Lord, do whatever you want with me!” You gasped as your hair was suddenly in his fist, pulling you back up against his torso. Hand wrapping around your throat, he continued to thrust into you, his lips at your ear as his deep grumbling purr began again.

“Don’t fucking call me that. What is my name?”

“K-Katsuki-!” It was almost impossible to speak through the grip he had on your neck, and mixed with the breathlessness brought on by the pleasure, you weren’t sure if you were even going to stay conscious.

“Say it again.”

“Katsuki!”

“And what am I?”

“M-my mate! Katsuki, please, I--” As your eyes began to roll back, you found your body floating in a hazy sea of pleasure, the lack of steady oxygen making you oblivious to everything else. It had already been building up in your core, pushing you closer and closer towards release, but you just weren’t there yet.

“Are you going to cum already, my little pet?” His nails dug into the skin of your neck, making you wince and whine from the pain. Yet, you didn’t hate it.

“M-more! Katsuki, please- A-ah! Fuck!” Releasing your neck, he grabbed both of your wrists and pulled them back, forcing you to bend over. With this new leverage, he slammed his cock so deep and hard into you that you couldn’t even find the air to moan. Head hanging, you watched his muscular legs and the way your arousal dripped from your ravaged pussy behind blurry, teary vision, only able to take a split second to be amazed at how truly turned on you really were. You were the hottest you had ever been in your entire life, so needy and aching for any attention or passion Bakugou would throw your way. It didn’t matter what he wanted to do to you. You would take it all just to finally be one with him.

Each thrust inside of you had your pleasure spiking, the coil within your core growing tighter and tighter, until the tension was too much to bear. When it finally broke, your body reacted without any conscious thought, twitching and trying desperately to escape the pleasure as he only continued to pound into you against the constricting of your walls. “Ka- a-ah! N-no, wait--!”

“Not so fast, my pet,” Bakugou used his grip on your arms to yank you backwards, one hand firmly on your throat. His other arm latched around your hips, keeping you in place while continuing to roll and dig his cock deep inside you, pressing against that delicious spot that drove you mad. “Fuck, your pussy feels so good squeezing my cock like that. You’re so damn perfect, I just want to fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum.”

“F-fill me up, Katsuki-!” You gave a choked moan as his grip tightened on your neck, his deep, grinding movements returning to the erratic and rough thrusts. You could tell that, in that moment, the thought of pleasuring you at all had completely left him. All that was on his mind now was doing just as he wanted, just as you had asked him to, and you were at his mercy. Even his teeth sinking into the skin of the crook of your neck didn’t deter the pleasure for you, the sudden spike of pain only making you arch your hips up even more for him, up on your tiptoes as far as you could possibly get.

With the movement, Bakugou released a frustrated growl mixed in with his groans and sighs of pleasure, his teeth only sinking further into your skin. The warmth that spread down your collarbone told you that he must have broke skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat that filled your womb in the next instant. The cum that coated your pulsing walls was hotter than anything you had ever felt, bringing a gasp from your hoarse throat. Desperately trying to clutch on to anything that you could to help distract you from the feeling, you snatched onto the arm of the hand that held your neck, clawing at his skin.

“H-hot, oh fuck- it’s so hot!” Although at first it was an uncomfortable sensation, you were slowly enveloped by the warmth, spreading through every inch from the belly out. When you began to relax, your eyes grew heavy, loosening your tense posture to rest back against Bakugou’s broad chest. “So hot… It’s nice…”

Teeth still in your skin, Bakugou began to purr, that same deep and rough sound that vibrated all through your body. Releasing your neck, his hand moved down your body, coming to a stop on your stomach. “Mm…” He smirked against your bleeding skin, running his tongue along the wound. “Delicious… You’re going to look so fucking beautiful when you’re carrying my children.” As he pulled his still hard cock out of you, his cum began to dribble down your trembling thighs, wondering for a moment just how much he had released.

Mind still hazy from the pleasure and the heat, you brought a hand up to tangle into his hair, turning your head to catch his lips. The metallic, sweet taste of your blood of his lips and his tongue were of no consequence, moaning softly against the kiss as both of his hands gripped and squeezed your breasts eagerly. From the feeling of his cock still between your thighs, hard and pulsing, you knew that this wasn’t over. You didn’t want it to be over. He had felt so heavenly inside of you, his attention and affection, however rough it may be, was filling your heart to the brim.

“I want to… Katsuki, please pick me! I want to always be at your side, to be your wife and carry your children.” You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Please make me your mate!”

There wasn’t another word shared between you as he kissed you, cupping your backside to scoop you up into his arms. Legs hooking around his waist, he carried you towards the bed, the plush softness of the blankets against your back lost to the euphoria that was his body intertwined with yours.

…

Bakugou wasn’t sure the time of day when he finally came out of his haze. The red that had blurred his vision had subsided in a sudden flash of white, finding that he was panting quite heavily, his forehead pressed into soft flesh. His consciousness returned to him slowly with the final pounding waves of his orgasm, his cock buried deep within the still twitching and constricting walls of a woman. No, not just any woman. It was his woman. You.

Slowly, he felt tired arms wrap around him, softly stroking up and down his scratched and sweaty back. With this movement, his head was gently pushed further against wherever he rested, which became clear by the pulsing against his lips that it was your neck. With a deep groan, Bakugou kissed your skin softly, working his way up along your jawline to your cheek. Your fingers in his hair made him feel so calm and secure, more than he had ever felt in the weeks since his rut first started.

It was odd. Usually, Bakugou could never stop once he got going. At least, not without using extreme self-control. He would need to keep going until his body was at its limit, but now, there was nothing. All that was left was this overwhelming softness, an urge to protect, and a love that he had refused to accept all these years. You were something so special to him, so incredibly precious, and you were his. All his.

Is that why he finally felt at peace? Is this what he had been missing? Are you what he had been craving for all this time?

The unfamiliar butterflies fluttering about in his stomach were proof enough, bringing him to nuzzle his nose against your cheek as your hand softly stroked his. It was then that the uncontrollable soft rumble began in his chest, which was the complete opposite of the aggressive purr he had been making most of the morning. He finally had you. And he was happy.

“Katsuki,” You spoke in a hoarse whisper, turning your head a bit to finally catch his gaze. “What’s that cute noise you’re making?” Your continued touch along his cheek made him realize that his scales had finally subsided, figuring he was mostly back to normal for the time being. How bad he had gotten, he really couldn’t remember, and just hearing how faint your voice was made him worry.

“Fuck off, you know what it is. Are you alright?”

Clearing your throat, you nodded, smiling against his lips. “I’m fine, Katsuki. Perfect, actually. I’ve never been happier… But I am pretty thirsty.”

“You look it.” Carefully moving some hair out of your face, Bakugou placed a kiss on your lips before sitting up from you, removing his member as well. As he flopped to sit on the bed, he felt a twinge of true concern while looking you over. “Fuck. I was way too damn aggressive.” Bruises, bitemarks, and red scratches littered your beautiful skin, your neck and thighs being the areas that received the most abuse. Shiny with sweat, you were truly a sight to behold, and the amount of his cum that stained your body and pooled between your legs was more than he had seen in a while. You were beautiful and ruined. Marked and scratched. And all his.

“Oh, I really don’t mind.” Sitting up, you lightly ran your fingers along a bite mark on the top of your left breast. “I didn’t know what to expect coming in, but… it really did feel amazing. I’ll be sore, but it’s worth it!” Smiling, you reached over and took both of his hands tenderly, bringing one up to softly kiss his fingers. “Mm… I’m so happy…”

With only a light tug on your hand to beckon you forward, Bakugou let his arms rest around your waist as you straddled his lap, facing him. A soft kiss was shared as you rested against him, the purr returning. “I am, too. It was a stupid fucking thing for you to do, but… I’m glad you took the risk of coming here.”

“You were pretty much moving subconsciously through most of it, though, right?”

“Hm… I mean, I remember some things, and the feelings, but that animalistic part of me was… really strong.”

“I was just gonna say that… it was super cute when you kept calling me your mate,” You couldn’t resist a smile as Bakugou’s cheeks flushed, the color spreading to the tips of his ears. “And you were calling me your pet.”

“Ah... Well, so what if I was?!” Bakugou’s embarrassment instantly had him feeling defensive, even as you laughed and hugged him tightly. “I wanted you, alright?! And not just right then, for fucking years! I was excited-- stop laughing at me!”

You nuzzled your nose against his neck, sighing in happiness as you closed your eyes. “Aahh, Katsuki… you’re so cute. I’m so happy that you picked me, out of all the women you could have.”

“There’s no other woman I’d ever want than you. How about we clean up and get some food. I think we could both use some rest. My beautiful mate…”

#bnha inagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x reader #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #personal #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #xreader #cutesuki-lemons

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calehenituseappreciation · 3 years

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i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

#dream smp #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #dream smp hcs #dream smp au #dsmp

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rattyarts · 3 years

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Huge-ask post (I am VERY funny)

Because I have so many questions that can be answered with just text, and I have mentioned my dislike of filling my art blog up with Words Words Words... let’s get them all done in one go!

(You guys can blacklist #rattytalks if you’re just here for the draws, btw)

A shit ton of asks under the cut!

Anonymous said: So for the center of the world, what with it being forcefully PG and all Bad Thoughts TM being prevented, how does having kids happen? Do parents just black out and wake up holding a child in their arms and vague memories of the last 9 months?

Ever seen a movie where they do that “and one day... a baby was born!” thing and a kid just appears offscreen with no explanation?

(This is how it works everywhere, Edgelands included; no one does the do or gets pregnant in this setting.)

Anonymous said: Hello! Quick question, and sorry if you’ve answered this before, but can other elves see the “intangible” bits of one another? Big fan of your work btw!

Nope! And thank you!

Anonymous said: Leopold was in my dream last night but I sadly cannot remember any of it.

I am SO sorry. I will try to keep my stinky murder men out of your head in the future.

Anonymous said: are the floaty bits stuck in one spot, or could the one they are attached to learn to move them around their body as long as its still within a certain distance? like, someone with the Floaty limbs, lets call him Ray, can move his limbs all over his body, allowing him to do all sorts of neat things that others with their attached limbs probably couldn't?

Whatever you want, honestly. As a general rule of thumb I don’t like putting down TOO many hard rules that prevent people from having fun with this setting. (Please ignore and scrap anything you think is stupid, I do this all the time and enjoy keeping this setting inconsistent and contradictory)

Anonymous said: Do elf names work off of Death Note rules, or is it like, if you know one elf’s name, all elves with that name are now unable to harm you? So if all the elf brothers are named Martin, for example, does it only work with blue?

I think it’s prolly just the one! Probably? Idk, might change if I think of something funnier.

Anonymous said: Can elves do magic on themselves or does thst go against the knowing name rule

Most people tend to know their own names, lol. So in my opinion, no, but don’t let me stop you if you got a fun idea.

Anonymous said: Could an Elf stitch on parts from another elf and have them work? i.e an Elf's finds the arm of another Elf. "Hey, free arm, might as well put it to good use", so they attach the arm and now they can give three high fives at once!

Same deal as previous questions, I personally would say no, but I also encourage people to do whatever the hell they want. It’s more fun that way!

Anonymous said: I bet elves are greasy to the touch.

They’re very powdery! Like if you rolled them in flour. And by flour I mean nasty glowing elf dandruff.

Anonymous said: Can elves fly or are their wings just for show?

No flying!!! (Unless you’re a mousefly)

Anonymous said: Something tells me that the elves would LOVE Obatzda.

Had to look that up, but definitely!

no1fan15: Not sure if someone asked already- Does Edgeworld have any equivalent to demons and angels? Like the old rubberhose cartoon kind?

Demons, yes! That’s what imps are: basically any demon, devil, or generic monster, but tiny! Even a couple of pop culture critters in there, there’s probably a very small gillman or robot monster running around there somewhere.

Angels, not so far.

Anonymous said: How come Margaret hasn't yeeted George's jar into the Edge yet

I’d say being locked in a closet is good enough! (and also I need him for plot reasons, don’t tell anyone)

Anonymous said: If elves have knees bulges in the front then do they have butt bulges in the back?

i do not want to think about elf bulges

Anonymous said: So if you find a baby Therewoof and you say "aw you're so cute", their true name is So Cute?

Yep!

Anonymous said: Since a Therewoof's true name can be something like "cutie pie" or "dingus", does their name have to be spoken with "intent" for it to doggo-fy them? Or do they just have to live with the reality that any casual conversation/flirting can make them lose up to a month to Doggy Mode? My mom has little terrier dog named "Sweetie" so that got me thinking 'bout Therewoof names. & Anonymous said: here's a good question: If someone says a therewoof's true name, but not reffering to them, does it still affect them?

Just saying it will do! It’s based on those old werewolf stories where calling out the person’s name will change them back into a human/cure them, and a lot of the time it was by accident.

(My favorite is the one where they slam the door on the wolf’s tail and then say his name, and the dude ends up with a wolf tail for the rest of his life.)

Anonymous said: Would Seeing eye Therewoofs be a thing?

I... guess? Probably? Since regular dogs can turn into woofs, yeah. You might have to start paying em once they turn into a person tho.

Anonymous said: Was ChalkZone ever an inspiration for you? Because I just love the silly world of ChalkZone and I noticed getting that same warm feeling when thinking about Edgeworld.

Maaaan, I wish. I’ve only seen about three episodes or so, but it seems really fun!

Anonymous said: So I saw your mimic post, and even though I don't think I've seen any other of your art before I was absolutely HAMMERED with an indescribable sense of slightly unsettling strangeness and comfortable familiarity. Your art feels like something from like, an old point and click computer game I would have had formative memories of before accidentally losing or scratching the disc therefore making me unsure if it ever REALLY existed. Sorry for being weird but I love the wacky nostalgia feel here

Aaaaaah, THANK YOU! That is SUCH a cool comparison and I appreciate!!!

Anonymous said: If the Edgeworld is based on cartoons then is there a Reverse Edge-world that’s based on anime?

Lol, I mean I DID have an anime phase for a while there, so...

caydebug: Man I’d love to see this as a cartoon some day

Honestly, same. Best you’re gonna get is the occasional animatic or gif, tho.

Anonymous said: Does anyone..."go" in Edgeworld? or is it like Pleasantville where bathrooms exist but there are no toilets in them because acknowledging it is yucky?

Oh god I keep getting asked this and have been avoiding it like the damn plague. But... Uh. No. No they do not. I am begging you all not to send any followup questions.

Anonymous said: Have you considered putting computer viruses or illnesses in with the buggymen? Since those are typically called ‘bugs’

Sure!

Anonymous said: are there any limits to what an Animimic could posess? i.e if they were in a costume of a Buggieman with multiple arms, could they control all of them? what about a small Mousefly costume? can multiple fit into one costume like a clown car? and what about in pitch black darkness, where you can only see the lights of their eyes and not their bodies? could one fit inside the pocket of a jacket you are wearing and help you steal things/wield a gun like a living turret?

Since clothing fills into the body type of the intended wearer, they would indeed be able to control all arms/legs in buggieman clothes.

Size restrictions is one of these things I wanna try to be vague about: I personally have been imagining them sticking to hiding in things no smaller than, um. Maybe imp sized, but really, whatever. It’s a cartoon eyeball critter!

You can put multiple animimics in one outfit!

They can move around just fine in darkness without being off screen, yeah!

And sure why not. lol

Anonymous said: I know you have been asked this once before, and you said nah you don't, but with a few more months of worldbuilding, do you have an idea for what could be down the edge now? 🤔

Not really! It’s not super important, honestly. I’d say any fan theory is about as valid as anything else I can come up with.

ps2polpo: I doubt you’ll ever elaborate on The Edge but I like to imagine there’s just one dude there like the Nowhere Man from the Yellow Submarine movie. Mostly cause the thought of someone accidentally winding up there being like “where am I?” And there’s just a guy casually waving at him like a friendly neighbor is funny to me & Anonymous said: The implication that the Edge is the physical manifestation of edginess so there’s probably like, Trevor Henderson monsters hanging out down there.

See above question! Valid! I also accept falling forever, getting erased from existence, ending up in another universe, getting stuck in limbo with thousands of other people, whatever you want, really!

Anonymous said: " he has very few bones and weighs basically nothing, " "Fastball special" trope, but with Leo?

YEET THE NASTY MAN

Anonymous said: did you ever watch dragon tales as a kid? because george and margaret make me think of murderous zak and wheezie from that show, and i love it to bits

I did not, but I would have loved it. Definitely up my alley!

(watched Quest for Camelot a loooot, though!)

Imma go ahead and stop here! There’s more but I’ve been writing for well over an hour and I have things to do. If your question is missing I’m either saving it for later, wasn’t entirely sure how to answer, or it’s spoilery.

Will probably do another one of these at some point!

#rattytalks #asks #edgeworld

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avenger-hawk · 4 years

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Hi, can you talk a little bit about naruto’s dark, controlling and possessive side? Or if you already wrote about it, link me the post? Thankss

I mentioned something here, here and probably there is smth in this tag.

And like I said countless times since you guys just don’t care about other ppl, if you write n*ruto’s name entirely it will show up in the search pages and I am fed up with raging SN/SN.S/Nar stans bitching at me.

Sorry (nope, not sorry) to break someone’s bubble but Nar is not a happy ball of sunshine and he’s not selfless.

He was neglected as a child, totally abandoned to himself with some money each month and an apartment he was supposed to clean and manage all alone. He was shunned or treated like sh*t by villagers and classmates alike, his only ‘parent’ was Iruka who couldn’t be with him always, and his idea of friendship, family, everything was twisted, cause try living all by yourself since you’re a child and you have no idea of why ppl hate you and avoid you. Of course he saw the Hokage as this big authority figure that everyone respects and ‘loves’ in his child mind, and of course he wanted to be Hokage so that ppl would finally respect and ‘love’ him. His idea of love is obviously screwed, and it’s a mix of respect, aknowledgement, deference.

He doesn’t have a sense of equality because he never learned what equality is. He was below everyone else being shunned and hated, and his role model was above everyone else, where he aspired to be.

He started to make friends and he’s all about comrades, yes, like all shounen protagonists. But it’s always him reaching out to them, him protecting them, him changing their minds about something (or about himself), him obtaining their admiration and respect from an initial situation of being the opposite, being considered a good for nothing and a loser.

Sasuke is considered the opposite since the beginning, he’s a good student and shinobi, he’s left all alone too and nothing is shown of his alone life but from the little things we see he learned to manage himself and the house better, he didn’t care about people probably talking behind his back about the massacre, and he obtained a good reputation in the academy, so the story starts with him in a different situation. And Nar considers him a rival, he’s clearly jealous of the ‘success’ he has, not realizing that he’s alone too. Because Nar is not empathic at all, and his child self is even less, being a child with clear difficulties in processing things, which makes sense since he had no education basically. He just sees external signs of adjustment and ‘success’ which is what he wants, so he ‘hates’ Sasuke and he provokes him all the time. They become rivals, then comrades (and rivals), then friends, but it’s always Sasuke who, despite his aloof personality, shows positive signs, first hand feeding him, then defending him against Sak*ra, then shielding him and many other little things while Nar is always overreacting or doing questionable, not to say bad things (like attacking him and tying him up to meet Sak*ra) to him.

Nar’s lack of empathy can be seen after the inn scene, cause instead of being I won’t even say supportive but, not irritating, he mocks Sasuke who just woke up after Tsukuyomi, provoking him so that Sasuke, already (re)traumatized and feeling worthless towards both his brother and Naru, challenges him. Right after waking up from a coma, basically. And ofc Nar doesn’t hold back.

When Sasuke leaves in part 1 Nar is enraged, ofc, and he reacts violently, even their fight is very violent, and ofc it is being a fight, but Nar is really really brutal, feral I’d say, and possessive, trying to bring him back. I don’t remember their fight well but if I’m not mistaken that’s when he first threatens Sasuke to break all his bones?

Then Sasuke leaves and Nar starts his own “sad boy missing his ‘best friend’ drama” and all the fandom is uwu look at him so sensitive, but he’s being abstract there, while when he faces Sasuke direcly or indirectly he’s different, more direct and not sentimental. As expected of a badass fighter, cause that’s what he is, that’s what everyone is in the story. when in part 2 Orochimaru calls Sasuke ‘his’ he goes berserk, and his search for Sasuke becomes even more obsessive, to the point of claiming that if they’ll fight they’ll both die and theyll be ok in the afterlife...this is kinda poetic but also creepy af. It’s stalker material tbh. Also because in that moment Sasuke just ‘killed’ Danzo, he’s exhausted, visibly blind, especially after fighting Kakashi, whose fight clearly took his toll on him (He avoided Sak*ra’s pathetic attempt to kill him but that was easy). Nar has all his energies and he’s stronger physically anyway having more stamina and kyuubi’s chakra. But he’s ready to fight him, even tho he gives a speech because ofc. too bad that Sasuke doesn’t fall for it cause he has his own personality and his own goals, which for Nar is unacceptable cause everyone must be on his side, especially the one he wants.

Sasuke remains on his own side until Itachi does his thing and bla bla bla, Itachi first is brougth close to Nar which was interesting to watch but also a huge narrative move to bring Sasuke to his side as well, getting to fight alongside his beloved brother and wanting to understand him and his ideal of protecting Konoha thus summoning Orochimaru, the 4 Hokage and deciding to join the battlefield. Then they fight together and even then it’s Sasuke who accepts Naru’s lead, not the other way round because Nar would never obey anyone who’s not himself especially he wouldn’t obey someone he wants to possess, metaphorically (but if you like also literally).

When the battle is over and their battle starts he shows his true colors. He’s no longer the one wanting to die with his ‘friend’, he’s a leader wanting Sasuke, his ‘friend’ who in his eyes took the wrong road, to get back to the village, because Konoha is HIS concept of happiness. In fact, Sasuke in Konoha is Nar’s concept of happiness. And to obtain it he uses every method, not just a good ol’ fight, the more brutal the better. In fact their last fight has a different vibe, it’s Sasuke the one who’s more stressed and emotional, he’s drained, completely, cause he wants his revolution and he wants to change the world to make him like Itachi dreamed of, and he needs to eliminate Nar for it, he doesn’t want to eliminate him but he needs to and he clearly explains him why in the beginning of the fight. The way he fights is desperate.

Nar instead is calm, his emotions are under control, he fights with his hands but also with mind techniques because he manipulates Sasuke all the time: he tells him that he didn’t understand his own brother (implying that he did it better. That he, who interacted with Edo Tensei Itachi for a couple of hours, understands him better than the brother who basically worships him!), that everything he believes is wrong, that he knows what’s best for him (which is interestingly exactly what he wanted in life, what a coincidence). And it works, cause Sasuke admits his own defeat, and, later, he is further brainwashed and guilt tripped, jailed and submitted until he’s a perfect Konoha dog. Even in his Shinden episodes he’s away but loyal and guilt ridden for his actions. He became Naru’s watchdog, his most loyal servant. Not his equal. He fulfilled Naru’s wish for him.

And, in case someone’s still not enraged because Hawk how dare you shit on their amazing bond? shocking huh? yeah I write what I think and I am very interested in their bond actually, since it’s a dark unhealthy one, completely unbalanced, just like I’m interested in Nar very much when he’s not idealized, cause he’s much more complex and interesting with his dark side.

Every episode shows Nar’s lack of care and empathy, his inner violence and selfishness, but they also are justified somehow. I can understand why, since his childhood made him self-centered and lacking the ability to interact with people on an equal basis, basically he never grew up for real, he acted like a grown up person but he remained a child inside, a possessive child who wants something and then discards it. And it shows whenever he ‘saves’ someone with his TnJ, this someone becomes his ‘friend’, loyal to him forever, and he moves on to ‘save’ someone else, all the while having Sasuke as his ultimate goal. Too bad that after he saves him too, he discards him as well. Not as much as the other cause Sasuke is special to him, but not as an equal either. I won’t mention the jail moment while Naru is basking in his popularity cause some don’t see it as canon, but when in the manga Sasuke is leaving Konoha and stumbles on Nar he says he didn’t think the other would come greet him. This shows how their relationship isn’t so amazing, since one would imagine that Nar would be 24/7 with Sasuke after he comes back.

So, all these moments show a clear picture of him as a possessive and selfish person who only ‘cares’ about ppl because he wants to be ‘loved’ (=admired and respected and aknowledged as the best) by said ppl, and whose ‘love’ for Sasuke is possessive and obsessive to an extreme point, a desire to be aknowledged and respected but also to submit the one whom he most ‘loves’, because there is no equality in the way Nar sees himself and the rest of the world, including ‘his’ ‘best friend’.

(btw if someone disagrees, keep it for yourself, I don’t give a damn about discussing with you)

#anti-narusasu #anti-naruto #anti-sns #anti-sasunaru #hawk's NS #vivalarevolution #I'm so gonna be hated for this #so I'm gonna close asks #and reopen once I posted all my replies cause I don' wanna receive more. and I don't wanna receive bitching #since some of you guys are very brave when it comes to use my blog as a dumpster for confessions or opinions that you #wouldn't dare write on your blog

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skekteksfurby · 3 years

Text

So let's talk about that 80-page neopets fanfic i wrote when i was like 14

so I posted about this a while ago but people to my surprise showed genuine interest in this thing. alas, the fanfic has been lost to time, i still have the file but it's damaged and I can't seem to restore it. Also, the entire thing was in dutch bc i no spoke english very well at the time. but i do remember a lot of the details, so i decided to post about this here to recall this embarrassing product of my imagination.

the plot: a found family consisting of a bunch of assholes tries to find jelly world and is then sent on a quest by the leader of jelly world to find a bunch of magical crystal shards spread across neopia. Reunite the shards, jelly world will be brought back to the main dimension in neopia.

the key players:

tama: oc, orange kougra. Prissy and extremely girly-girl type rich kid who was raised on krawk island being very spoiled by her governor parents or whatever. current chosen one that can open the gate to jelly world.

number twelve: oc, green lupe. number five's younger brother (by a lot of years). I never thought up a proper name for him so he is just number twelve.

sinsi: canon, brown ixi. she never really served a point but she liked to hang out with clop and play cellblock with him. idk i just thought her design was cute so i shoved her in.

shari: oc, blue wocky. basically the no1 fan of the prisoners with an enormous ego and amount of self confidence. she could change colors at will like a chameleon because she was a mary sue and i didn't fully understand the concept of paint brushes back then.

zeetin: someone else's neopet i was allowed to use, halloween kougra. Just the bad boy love interest for tama. shari's adoptive brother but after he and tama started dating they drifted apart.

the prisoners except the yellow knight because i thought he was boring: canon. Consisting of: clop (mute darigan moehog), barallus (unhinged korbat), meekel (shy and fearful blue kacheek) and number five (twelve's older brother, previous chosen one that could open the dimensional rift to jelly world).

shinwa: oc, fairy jelly acara because she's Special. basically the last leader of jelly world before the downfall. She sends everyone on a quest and appears in dream visions idk she's magic. her name means legend in japanese because i'm a genious /s

galgarrath and haskol: canon, grarrl and skeith. minibosses that chased the Crew to add some peril to the story because otherwise it would've been boring as tar

other bits about the story i recall:

running gags included disliking the faerie aesthetic and purple stuff in general. there was also a weird amount of alcoholic cider involved.

so the whole reason jelly world was cast into another dimension was because of some nondescript skeith wizard who was jealous of their prosperity cursed the land by shattering the magical crystal powering it idk. shinwa, having magical abilities herself, had the power to select a new chosen one that could open the rift and thus possibly restore JW every sixty years or so. 5 was the last one and succeeded in going there, but failed to restore the crystal and was promptly locked away in the dungeons of the darigan citadel. Tama, being the next, was our main Chosen One for the story. She was the main character i guess but i hated writing her pov a whole lot because she's so unlike me in every way.

The Crew(trademark) consisted of tama, shari, zeetin, sinsi, 12 and the (ex-)prisoners sans YK and yes they did succeed in finding JW.

oh yeah btw the prisoners broke out during some kind of plot convenience it was never properly explained nor was it ever established why the yellow knight wasn't there. Meekel also bailed on the quest for JW pretty soon when he figured out haskol and galgarrath were after them (to retrieve the prisoners because it pissed vex off that nobody would play his game anymore now).

Forced Hetero Romance(trademark) between Zeetin and Tama which I also hated writing

Shari had like 4 near-death experiences but kept getting into trouble either way because she's Stupid

the most compelling thing in the entire story was honestly the relationship beteen Shari and zeetin.

some of the official neopets canon was obviously thrown out the window because I didn't know everything (still don't) and also the canon in and of itself is wobbly to begin with.

one thing i established in my canon was that uni's didn't fly gracefully like pegasi, but rather had their wings move very fast like insects because they're so damn small and they're pretty hefty creatures. Clop also flew this way due to his similar wings-to-body ratio.

strangely enough, zeetin, who did have wings that were more proportional to his body, couldn't fly

Clop spoke in CTL: clop tapping language. 5 and meekel were his interpreters.

twelve had no personality to speak of seriously he was only there to prompt tama to go on her quest and run away from her dull life

the story ended at about 80 pages in when i lost my neopets hyperfocus and just kinda gave up. at this point in the story they had just gotten to JW for the first time, met shinwa, and been sent on their quest to look up the shards and restore the crystal to bring JW back into existence in neopia.

From here on the plan for me was for the Crew to split up and go across different parts of neopia to retrieve the crystals. would they end up restoring it? I have no fucking clue man i never got that far. i know that zeetinxtama was endgame, though his relationship with shari would be mended as well. think up your own ending if you will idc

#tekrim text #neopets #this is so emberassing why are people interested in my shitty writing from years ago #thanks for the interest though i appreciate it lol

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thestarkerisobvious · 4 years

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HERE IT IS @cagestark!! Your Story!

There were worse things than being Peter Parker, Spider-Man, New York’s beloved hero. Among other things it made him feel more adult. Maybe there were some heroes out there with Clark Kent - like “secret identities,” but Avengers had none. Being out of the Superhero Closet made him just like the rest of the Avengers.

And if being a public figure made him more like his hero, Tony Stark? Well, that was certainly not the main reason he had done it. Oh no. Not at all.

But there were downsides, too.

You think one low quality dick pic

is going to touch my laundry

list of debauchery?

You know that random cute boi in that set of artistic black-and-white photographs where first he’s wearing a towel, and then he isn’t? You know, that random cute boi?

Oh, you don’t remember? The one with no tattoos, no piercings, just that towel that was there, and then it wasn’t there, and that pensive boi looking behind him at that dingy grey wall? You mean you don’t remember at all? That’s because it was one of thousands of nude pics of Random Cute Boi’s that you downloaded on that one folder on your desktop or maybe posted (without the original source of course) on Tumblr. And then forgot about. Because it was years ago.

Until yesterday when you were watching some newshow cover the last heroic act of Iron Man and you randomly opened up that old folder or followed Random Cute Bois tag on Tumblr. and – oh -- what would that be? That would be a Random Cute Boi with a face you recognize. That Random Cute Boi was Peter Parker, Newest Avenger. Beloved Superhero. Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

Are you impeding on my

avengers-nudes franchise?

Harry Osborn promised no one would see those pictures.

Promised promised promised.

And dammit, Peter was proud of those muscles. He had the right to be proud. He hid them daily under layers upon layers of baggy clothes, but at night? Harry appreciated those muscles (even though certain older men, whose names should not be mentioned, never seemed to freaking notice.) Harry had said those muscles were art.

By day, Peter walked around campus, promising himself there would be no more photography sessions.

But at night – how could he tell Harry no? Playing with the lighting, clearing the wall to use as a backdrop (making sure there were no identifying clues that they were in Harry’s dormroom. Good God what if there were identifying clues that they were in Harry’s dormroom?!) Playing with the fabric, the towel, the bedsheet. But there was so much more to it than that. Pushing themselves to see how long they could wait, how hot they could make each other before the phone was forgotten and the bed was used for other kinds of art. By day Harry was Perfectly Straight White Successful Osborn. By night, well…

…Harry and Peter both had secrets.

Every time Peter swore would be the last. He was Spider-Man for godssake - and someday he would take of the mask, just like Tony Stark did (he was the ONLY Avenger with a secret identity, now. It seemed childish really.) Nude pictures featuring his face could not exist. Harry had enough pics now. The next time he would say no.

But then the weeks would stretch out between visits and Harry would be gone for so long, and every adventure in sexting, every single time, started with “So I was looking at our pictures...”

But years passed, Harry grew out of his I-Like-Boys phase (as well as his I’m-Not-THAT-Kind-Of-Osborn phase as well as his I-Give-A-Damn-About-Anything phase) and Peter was living a completely different life. Those pictures were long gone, too. Forgotten. Just like the secrets best friends once shared. Peter would never have to think about those pictures again.

I had a monopoly

Peter, goddamnit

To say that Peter was devastated was an understatement. He was so much more than devastated. So beyond embarrassed. He was ashamed. He had barely come out of the Cape-Closet, a poor-man’s version of Tony Stark, and this had happened. All his dreams of standing next to his mentor (in that sharp suit that Tony had bought him) looking like a fellow-Avenger (a fellow-grownup) were dashed. Why? Because a few years ago Peter had a pathetic crush on his best friend and couldn’t tell that friend “no.”

And the worst part? His phone kept making that noise. And that meant Tony was texting him. Tony Stark, the man who had given him that incredible suit. The man who inspired him to make this disastrous public move in the first place. Tony, his hero, his adviser, his mentor (and ok lets admit it, his childhood crush) who had taken this huge risk on him only to be rewarded with, what, exactly? This was beyond humiliation. There were not enough words in the dictionary to describe how mortified he felt now. He couldn’t even bring himself to read the texts. Right now he’d rather face Nick Fury then Tony Stark.

Make a sextape then we’ll talk

Tony Stark who had bought him a whole new wardrobe for when the Avengers Media team dropped the news of the newest Avenger.

Tony Stark, who had not just bought him a suit but had the suit fitted, a complicated process that required 3 fittings including one where they marked him up with chalk!

Tony Stark, who he saw weekly now, almost daily. He loved all this special Stark attention he was getting now that he was an Out And Proud Avenger. Mr. Stark was treating him like an adult now. Talking to him like an adult. Talking about him like he was an adult. Spending time with him alone, as adults, getting drinks or riding around in his limo. Bringing up adult topics, like his bisexuality and how the media always treated him like Tony Stark Heterosexual Playboy despite every man he ever dated. Personal things, Mr. Stark was telling him now. Talking about his own sexual experiences and experimentation when he was Peter’s age. And they bantered, now. Traded snark and insults and innuendo.

Mr. Stark thought of Peter as an adult now, and how did Peter repay him?

Peter couldn’t take it anymore. He yanked his phone out of his pocket and opened up the messages, grimacing, preparing for the worst.

He read them all.

And then he reread them.

And then he reread them again.

And then he put his phone away because he was clearly imagining things.

That last one was a joke btw

He picked up his phone again.

Unless? 👀

* * *

Mr. Stark,

No, that was wrong. Mr. Stark had told Peter to called him Tony. Had told him repeatedly. Had threatened to “tie you naked to the chair and cover you with whip cream if you don’t stop calling me Mr. Stark.” That had been last night. He had said that during their long-goobye hug. Whispered it, really.

Tony,

It wasn’t a big deal that Tony had said that. Tony said all kinds of funny, mildly inappropriate things now that they hung out almost every day. When Tony had Happy drive them around in his limo. And took him out to restaurants and bars where he always paid for everything. To the point where he had joked that they were ‘dating’…

We need to talk.

I’m swinging by your place right now.

----------------------------

OH MY GOD THANK YOU @starkerstories (aka @von--gelmini) for MY AMAZING MOODBOARD!!!!!!

Thank you @cagestark for this idea.

#Starker #Peter Parker/Tony Stark #Tony Stark/Peter Parker #Von's Moodboards #TheWitchway writes stuff

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dearmrsawyer · 3 years

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J A M I L A please i must ask you supernatural asks and NO I WILL NOT limit myself to just one. Please can i ask you! 12. what is your most memorable episode (and obviously WHY) and 26. Best side Character. ALSO free question because i want to PLEASE JUST TELL ME SOMETHING(ANYTHING) YOU LOVE ABOUT SUPERNATURAL PLEASE THANK YOU

LE you’re so indulgent thank you ;__; (edit to say this is so long i am just... well. it was inevitable i suppose, ty for your patience lol)

12. what is your most memorable episode (and why!)

AAH this is hard because obviously there are so so many memorable episodes over 15 years!!!! but i think i‘d like to pull out the season 8 (or as i like to call it, season gr8) finale, Sacrifice. midway through season 8 my brother and i moved into our grandparents place while my parents were separating and i used to sleep in their spare room. they had this old tv in there that pre-dates flatscreens and i lowkey used to loveee watching it. anyway during that period i would use up all my grandparents’ bandwidth downloading new Spn episodes and destroy their internet until it reset at the end of the month LOL, but Spn was one of the few things that really kept me going at that point in time. i think God was like ‘jamila’s having a hard year, let’s make this one of Spn’s best seasons ever’ because truly i cannot explain to you how much i love that season. how much thinking about it pushes everything else out of my heart so i can feel the love for it as fully as possible. i have this extremely vivid memory of sitting on the single bed in that spare room watching the season 8 finale on that little fat tv, and feeling SO much, like feeling so many feelings about everything that was happening in the episode, and forgetting everything else in the world because that episode swallowed me whole, and i remember - i remember SO clearly - the last scene of that episode, when the angels started falling, and being completely awed, like jaw agape, heart pounding, just full of wonder, because that scene was so beautiful and shocking and like, just an unbelievable moment? i just REMEMBER how it felt to watch that episode more clearly than the watching any other moment in the show, it was so powerful to me. i think it was a combination of factors, like the intensity of life at that moment, the build up of this unbelievable season of a show that had carried me through 8 years (including this hard year), the fruition of a storyline focused on Sam, a character i’d loved so much for so long, and a really staggering episode.

26. best side character?

oh NOOOO howwww how how can i choose. i’m gonna pick 3 because I’M in control! and i’m going to pick these based on the value i believe they added to the show, and to Sam and Dean’s lives.

1. Bobby. It’s crazy to me that Bobby died literally halfway through the show (mid season 7) and yet he still feels like a core part of the show to me? Like it’s been 7 and a half years lol but i still feel like he’s a foundational block! I love Bobby SO much, for many reasons but most especially because he was really a dad to Sam and Dean. Like no disrespect to John (some disrespect) but he was their DAD. He took so much care of them, talked them down from so many ledges, showed them so much love (even if it was in his own gruff way!), and felt so much pride over who they grew up to be, like i truly think we owe Bobby for who they are. and he really acted as a home base to them for those first 7 seasons! Spn was always supposed to be a road show, 2 brothers driving across country, staying in bizarre hotels, no home base. But Bobby really WAS the home they could come back to anytime. And they needed that so badly.

2. Mary. How many times can i explain how AMAZING it was to have Mary become a fixture in the show 12 YEARS IN. Like!?!?!?! And the reason i think Mary is such an incredible side character is because for those first 11 years (and all the years pre the show) the memory of Mary shaped Sam and especially Dean in very specific ways. Like she was this phantom known mostly through Dean’s vague, 4yo memories, so insubstantial and so dream-like. And that image of her was so extremely formative for them. And then all of a sudden BAM here she is in the flesh! And she’s not that dream-like figure at all! She’s fully formed and complex and has a lot of issues and neither she nor Sam/Dean know what to do about each other, because they’re all adults! And watching them figure out how to be a family was the most INCREDIBLE thing, watching Mary figure out how to be a mother to 2 adults (missing the opportunity to be a mother to growing boys) and also not being sure she even wanted to be one?? watching Sam get to know a mother he had NO memories of, and knew only by proxy threw Dean’s infant memories, and watching Dean have to reluctantly scratch out that image he’d been carrying around for 35 years and let Mary be her own self, not the self he’d been projecting onto her all this time, was justttttt <333333

3. Jack. I can’t miss out on our collective son ;__; listen listen listen, this idea. to have Sam and Dean spent 12 seasons learning and unlearning all the traumas of their parents, to face every challenge imaginable, and then to round out their story by giving them the one extremely human challenge they’ve not yet faced (being parents) is so... unbelievably beautiful. like to give them this character, who was presumed to be the doom of all creation, and have them end up seeing him as a son, and loving him, and fearing losing him, and wanting to do anything - anything - to save him, to break whatever cosmic rule it took (exactly the same way they’d do anything to save EACH OTHER these past 12 years btw) is JUST!!!!!! IT IS JUST!!!!!!! THE MOST INCREDIBLE STORY!!!!!!!!!! AND the fact that all their doubts and fears about his ‘potential’ for darkness were mirrored within Jack himself, and for him to try to combat that fear by modelling himself after Sam and Dean as much as he could, because HE believed that THEY were his salvation, and if he followed in their footsteps he would only ever be good. LIKE THAT MAKES ME INSAAAAAAAAANE. AND THEN HE BECAME GOD. SAM AND DEAN RAISED GOD. HE DECIDED ON THE KIND OF GOD HE WANTED TO BE BASED ON EVERYTHING HE LEARNED FROM THEM. NEVER COULD THIS SHOW HAVE FOUND A BETTER WAY TO GO OUT IT DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYYYYY

oh my god i’ve been writing this post for over an hour because i have to keep stopping and feeling emotions lol

special le question: tell you something i love about the show!!

god okay!!!!! so many things to choose from!!!! let’s try not to be an emotional mess this time lol. something that i love about the show is the fact that it had the time to experiment. the gift of long-running scifi shows is that they have time to find their feet, and then they have time to find their voice, and finding their voice allows them to play. and playing is how you get some of the best moments in television. and my god, did Spn play. episodes like “Changing Channels” where Sam and Dean were sucked into satirical versions of other TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy and CSI Miami. or “Ghostfacers” which was a found footage episode from the pov of a group of awful paranormal investigators, and Sam and Dean were basically the side characters LOL! or “The French Mistake” where Sam and Dean were sucked into a universe where they were actually the actors PLAYING Sam and Dean SJKJKD or “Baby” when they had an entire episode from the CAR’S perspective, or when they’re in a black and white monster movie!!!! something i love about the show is that they had the time to play and they USED it! so well!!!! it’s been 15 years of wonderful stories, i am just so grateful for them all

#le thank you SO much and sry for how long this is ROFL #<333333 #candybarrnerd #asks #literally not one person is here to see #me talk about spn so ty for indulging me LOL

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marcussour · 3 years

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BTW, since it’s been already a week and since I guess it’s no longer a spoiler, I think it’s finally time to talk about Ahsoka and why her appearance in The Mandalorian was so disappointing.

First, a visual thing. This is how Ahsoka looks like in Star Wars Rebels (a show set 10 years before the events of The Mandalorian), where we last saw her:

And this is how she looks in The Mandalorian:

Even when taking into account the stylization that animation provides, the whole thing with her montrals (the togruta’s “horns”) is there to show the age and growth of the character. Ahsoka’s 41 y/o during The Mandalorian, which is older than what Shaak Ti was during Episode 3, and Shaak Ti looked like this:

Now, I understand that there’s a whole practicality reason behind the “shortening” of the montrals (apparently it had to do with confort and it’s appearance during action scenes), so you can kinda overlook it, but it still feels weird that Ahsoka in her early 40′s looked younger than when she was in her 30′s in Rebels.

Besides, if Disney has the money to digitally erase the “jeans dude” that they overlooked in the background of a scene 2 episodes ago, I’m pretty sure they could have fixed Ahsoka’s montrals during post-production so they looked better.

But beyond the whole appearance (which, like I said, can somewhat be overlooked), my biggest issues where related to the casting and characterization.

Starting by the casting, I know that Rosario Dawson was always the dreamed fan casting. Heck, it was even an option that I liked a couple of years ago, but all that changed the moment the transphobia allegations appeared and that many people kinda overlooked.

With independence of the rumors before this season regarding her apperance and casting, I was shocked to the mere idea that one of my favourite characters was going to be played by someone who had that cloud over them with allegations of physical and psychological violence related to transphobia.

Now, the fact that the person who made the allegations withdrew 18 of the 20 charges (without settlement), including all of those that are related to transphobic violence, changes the panorama somewhat, but the shroud of doubts will always remain (especially when we’re talking about accusations directed to a celebrity who happens to be dating an US senator) and that was always going to affect my reaction towards the episode.

Especially knowing that the social media vocal fan casting was the main reason why Dawson’s was given the role according to Dave Filoni. Because I guess people always assumed that Ashley Eckstein couldn’t play the character in live action, which I think is silly because look at this:

That’s Ashley cosplaying as Ahsoka and doing a magnificent job about it. If she could achieve this with only (expensive I asume) cosplay, imagine what LucasFilm could’ve done with the budget they have for the show.

Especially because you not only prevent the issues regarding the casting, but also because Ashley’s already inside the mind of the character having played it for 12 years; and also because her voice for the character is really special.

Even if she was Anakin’s padawan, in a way she’s also like the daughter or little sister of Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme. She’s learned and absorbed things from the 3 of them and her voice, especially in Rebels, reflects that. There’s a calm born from experience, and a special type of solemnity and gravitas, and there’s this hint of pride and arrogance (like Maul’s told her during their fight during the siege of Mandalore in Clone Wars).

And, with exception of the scenes where Ahsoka was testing Grogu Baby Yoda and helping Din connect with him, I never felt that in any other part of the episode. And that’s something that goes hand in hand with the characterization problems.

Sure, the show gives you the idea that she��s been for quite some time trying to liberate Corvus, and you can understand that they did things the way they did during their introduction to awe the audience (especially the one that never saw the animated shows), but it’s hard to reconcile her introduction with the Ahsoka we knew beforehand.

In fact, to me the “real” Ahsoka doesn’t appear until the scene where Magistrate Morgan Elsbeth threatens her with the amount of innocent people she’s going to kill in case Ahsoka kept opposing her. Because that’s Ahsoka to me, the one that puts the safety and well being of others above her own all the time. The Ahsoka that, even when she was in dire danger during order 66, never stopped caring and thinking about the wellbeing of the clones that, beyond being her subordinates, she saw them as her brothers. That’s her character’s essence, and while we saw some of it, it just wasn’t enough.

The other big problem I think with her characterization is her refusal to train Baby Yoda considering his attachment towards Mando and how that can end badly, because she saw it first hand with regards to Anakin (yes, it was one heck of a scene I’ll admit, but in the great context it feels weird).

Obviously there’s a practic reason why they won’t do it (of course the show is not going to get rid of Baby Yoda), but it feels weird when Ahsoka is supposedly in the middle of the search for Ezra and Thrawn (I know that there’s been some talk or rumors of a retcon where the Rebels epilogue, that happened before the events of the Mandalorian, is supposedly going to be placed further down the line, in order to have a new show where Ahsoka and Sabine are looking for Ezra, but that hasn’t been confirmed).

Yes, I know that it was part of Baby Yoda’s journey and whether he ends up on the light or dark side, but the whole talk about attachment feels like something the padawan Ahsoka from the first seasons of Clone Wars would say, not the Ahsoka that left the jedi order, that saw how the rest of the galaxy lived and thought of the jedi, and that knew that, despite Palpatine’s work, the jedi had a lot to blame regarding being architects of their own demise. There are plenty of similarities between Ahsoka’s and Luke’s thoughts in The Last Jedi, in regards of the jedi and the conceptual failures in their reasoning before order 66.

So to see Ahsoka in The Mandalorian being so “binary” in her way of thinking, so black and white, so “jedi”, felt like a regression of her character development. Of course, something could’ve happened to her after Ezra saved her through the World between Worlds, and then after the Rebels epilogue, but until we don’t know for sure, it felt like a step back for her growth, especially considering how many people where introduced to her through The Mandalorian, it’s kinda of a disservice to the character (here’s hoping that enough people check Clone Wars and Rebels to see the real character journey that she went through).

So, that’s it. I’ve been wanting to write this down for days. Because even though the episode was really good, there were enough reasons and things that made it impossible for me to enjoy it as much as I would’ve like in other circumstances. Yes, there were some things that I’ve been able to rationalize and understand after the episode aired, but I’m never getting my first impression back.

Ahsoka is one of my favourite characters of everything (I’m pretty sure that, if it weren’t for the childhood nostalgia regarding having seen the OT when I was a child -and being obsessed with SW ever since- she would probably be above Luke in my list of favourite characters), and Clone Wars was a really important show for me (after Empire Strikes Back, is my favourite Star Wars anything).

And I can’t just conform or be happy with her appearance in this episode. The whole “just being there” is not enough, especially when you see how characters like Bo-Katan, Cobb Vanth or Boba Fett were all given their due and well portrayed in a great light, but you can’t say the same about a character that’s more important, and who sadly had this whole cloud surrounding it since the first casting rumours appeared.

Ahsoka is a character that represents the best of Star Wars, so it’s sad to see that her appearance and portrayal not only was dissapointing, but it ended up hurting so many people in the LGBTQA+ community, and especially in the trans community, many of whom are Star Wars fans that have the same passion and love for Ahsoka. And like I said the other day, the trans community concerns must be front and center and must be listened by everyone.

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raiswanson · 4 years

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Character Ask Game

Tagged in by @etjwrites to answer some questions from this tag game, and like the overachiever I am.....I’m just going to answer them all. :D

Let’s interview Rewill shall we?

1) if they could choose a new name, what would they choose?

[Rewill leans forward and looks directly into the camera] How about one that the author can pronounce consistently. That sounds like fun.

2) what’s a surefire way of making them happy?

Lots of things make me happy. Game night, spending time with friends, going to the diner back on Victorious. Look, I know the food looks like absolute ass but it’s good, I promise, once you get past the chalkiness of the powdered eggs they aren’t so bad, and the ham isn’t really so tough once you get used to it--Okay why are you looking at me like that. Fine, no diner special for you then, judgeypants.

3) what’s a surefire way of making them sad?

Well...again, lots of things. The usual things, I suppose. People being rude or aggressive for no reason, looking at the state of things in the outside world, seeing things in the news about the cruise starship “accidents”...I don’t...really want to get into this subject, if that’s alright.

4) what do they do when they feel sad?

What, you mean other than cry my eyes out? I dunno, I guess I talk less? Jiy always says I veer between dead silence and doubling my sass, but I don’t really see it. I just mope around feeling miserable until I get out of my funk.

5) how do they choose their friends?

That’s easy. I look around for someone interesting and go “that one. I’m going to talk to that one” and then I hang around until my endless charm wins them over and can’t bear to be away from me. It’s what I did with Maika! [sound of a fist banging furiously on the interview window] She’s a work in progress. But I’ve almost got her, I can tell.

6) what kinds of food do they like?

I like what everyone refers to as “space trash”, but they’re just snobs. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned hot dog from a food district stand, or a greasy burrito from a shady little joint in the back end of the manufacturing quarter, okay? Way out here in space the stuff you can get there is just as fresh as whatever you got at your fancy restaurant, and you can’t get that flavor anywhere else.

7) who is the person closest to them?

Jiy. We’ve been together since we were small, and we’ve been through a lot. We share...mostly everything, and what we don’t share the other can usually kind of sense?

8) what kinds of music do they listen to?

I like all sorts of music, but anything with energy you can dance a tango to has a special place in my heart. Personal sentiment, you understand. That and whatever’s going on with those old school scifi films. That electro...synth...thing. I love that.

9) if logistics and money weren’t an issue, what kind of animal would they keep as a pet? (includes fantastical animals like dragons as well btw)

Hmm. I might have said dragon before all of this started, but I think that might be disrespectful to Pry? I wouldn’t call him a pe-- [Rewill pauses, staring straight ahead, then turns to scowl at the door] I am not your pet, Pry, don’t be rud--Lok, I’m pretty happy with the android hounds I have back on the ship. They’re polite and don’t get sassy with me and I wouldn’t dream of anything else.

10) what does the landscape of their mind look like?

Uhhh, probably not a lot like most, considering all the hardware I’ve got in there. It varies between a blank dark space with floating thoughts, and a literal console screen full of memory folders and input/output and stuff. It depends.

11) why do they like themselves?

Because I’m awesome? I’m an absolute delight and joy to be around. I bring light to every room I enter, enthusiasm to every task, and my smile could power an entire field of solar panels. What’s not to like?

12) what do they dream of doing if they had anything and everything open to them?

I’ve always wanted to travel. Like, through space, I mean. I’ve always wanted to be out there, but first I had Jiy to look after, and then Mach’s crew had to stick to the area for obvious reasons...but I dunno. I want to go out and see what’s out there. Everything is so big. I want to explore it all.

13) what fashion choices do they make? do they go more for comfort or style?

I enjoy a blend of both. I like to look good, but it I can’t move around easily I won’t go for it. That’s why I usually for a nice spacer suit and a jacket, maybe a utility belt if I need to carry a few extra things. I don’t really understand the fashions on the colonies, and up on the stations it’s really just suits or absolutely wild eyesores. I just want to be able to do my job and not get my ten foot long train covered in every snaggly material under the sun caught on every door I try to walk through, you get me?

14) if they had to go somewhere without a map, what’s the likelihood that they would make it there without getting lost?

I’m pretty good with following directions without a visual aid. You kind of have to be in my line of work--if you sneak into a cruise ship to swipe something from the vault and pop out in a room full of guards, you don’t get very far, you know? I can find my way around. I’ve always had a good head for it.

15) what types of people do they attract?

People like me, I guess. People that have an inherent need to help out and stand up for the people around them. Oh, and smart-talkers. Can’t forget that. Everyone around me is always full of wisecracks. Seriously, they never stop. It’s always aimed at me, too. Help.

16) what types of people are they attracted to?

Well, looking at my track record, apparently that would be people that can beat me up and trash talk me while they do it, hahaha. But seriously, I think I just like people. It’s a problem. Jiy used to get really jealous until I convinced him I only had eyes for him~

17) what is their greatest fear?

Ah. Yeah. I suppose part of that’s already happened, so I guess...losing Jiy. I can’t even...imagine...what I’d do if that happened. Even after all the close calls we’ve had, just thinking about it makes it hard to breathe and sets my heart rate off, and--yep, there it goes, I’m seeing malfunction warnings now, what did I tell you?

18) what kinds of body modifications would they do if they could? (e.g. tattoos, dyeing hair, piercings, etc.)

Ahh, ha, yeah, I think I’ve had enough of those for a lifetime. Considering how much of my is either metal internally or something hooked through my skin, I’m about done with making personal tweaks. I used to have a few more tattoos before, but after I got the synthetic stuff I never really bothered to replace them. I’ve thought about it, but...eh?

19) what are they insecure about?

I think I come on a little strong sometimes? Sometimes I wonder if I’m pushing too hard and no one wants to speak up about it. Or that I’m speaking over people and not realizing it. I think I’ve spent half my life hearing Jiy tell me otherwise, but, I still wonder.

20) how do they treat people/beings who have less power than them?

Power is kind of hard to quantify, isn’t it? Someone less physically strong might be able to run me in circles with another method, and vice versa. Someone with political power can still be taken down if you play your cards right and sweep it out from under them. Erm. I guess what I’m trying to say is I wouldn’t really consider anyone as having “less” power than me, so I can’t really answer that question. I’d treat them like I treat anyone else, because that’s who they’d be. Just another person.

And the tag games tag list!! You can answer either a few of all of the questions, go nuts!!

#tag rai #I almost did this for a Seals babe but Rewill felt more fitting haha #gosh does this boy like to t a l k #what am I going to do with you Rewill. smh

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drkoestersmithrpg · 4 years

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Dropping Nudes

There were worse things than being Peter Parker, Spider-Man, New York’s beloved hero. Among other things it made him feel more adult. Maybe there were some heroes out there with Clark Kent-like “secret identities,” but Avengers had none. Being out of the Superhero Closet made him just like the rest of the Avengers.

And if being a public figure made him more like his hero, Tony Stark? Well, that was certainly not the main reason he had done it. Oh no. Not at all.

But there were downsides, too.

You think one low quality dick pic is going to touch my laundry list of debauchery?

You know that random cute boi in that set of artistic black-and-white photographs where first he’s wearing a towel, and then he isn’t? You know, that random cute boi?

Oh, you don’t remember? The one with no tattoos, no piercings, just that towel that was there, and then it wasn’t there, and that pensive boi looking behind him at that dingy grey wall? You mean you don’t remember? That’s because it was one of thousands of nude pics of Random Cute Boi’s that you downloaded on that one folder on your desktop or maybe posted (without the original source of course) on Tumblr. And then forgot about. Because it was years ago.

Are you impeding on my avengers-nudes franchise?

Harry Osborn promised no one would see those pictures.

Promised promised promised.

By day, Peter walked around campus, promising himself there would be no more photography sessions.

…Harry and Peter both had secrets.

But then the weeks would stretch out between visits and Harry would be gone for so long, and every adventure in sexting, every single time, started with “So I was looking at our pictures.”

I had a monopoly Peter, goddamnit

To say that Peter was devastated was an understatement. He was so much more than devastated. He wasn’t just embarrassed. He was ashamed. He had barely come out of the Cape-Closet, a poor-man’s version of Tony Stark, and this had happened. All his dreams of standing next to his mentor (in that sharp suit that Tony had bought him, had him fitted for) looking like a fellow-Avenger (a fellow-grownup) were dashed. All because a few years ago Peter had a pathetic crush on his best friend and couldn’t tell that friend “no.”

And the worst part? His phone kept making that noise. Tony was texting him. Tony Stark, the man who had given him that incredible suit. The man who inspired him to make this disastrous public move in the first place. Tony, his hero, his advisor, his mentor (and ok lets admit it, his childhood crush) who had taken this huge risk on him only to be rewarded with, what, exactly? This was beyond humiliation. There were not enough words in the dictionary to describe how mortified he felt now. He couldn’t even bring himself to read the texts. Right now he’d rather face Nick Fury then Tony Stark.

Make a sextape then we’ll talk

Tony Stark who had bought him a whole new wardrobe for when the Avengers Media team dropped the news.

Tony Stark, who had not just bought him a suit but had the suit fitted, a complicated process that required 3 fittings including one where they marked him up with chalk!

Tony Stark, who he saw weekly now, almost daily. He loved all this special Stark attention he was getting now that he was an Out And Proud Avenger. Mr. Stark was treating him like an adult now. Talking to him like an adult. Talking about him like he was an adult. Spending time with him alone, as adults, getting drinks or riding around in his limo. Bringing up adult topics like his bisexuality and how the media always treated him like Tony Stark Heterosexual Playboy despite every man he ever dated. Personal things, Mr. Stark was telling him now. Talking about his own sexual experiences and experimentation when he was Peter’s age. And they bantered, now. Traded snark and insults and innuendo.

Mr. Stark thought of Peter as an adult now, and how did Peter repay him?

Peter couldn’t take it anymore. He yanked his phone out of his pocket and opened up the messages, grimacing, preparing for the worst.

He read them all.

And then he reread them.

And then he reread them again.

And then he put his phone away because he was clearly imagining things.

That last one was a joke btw

Unless? 👀

#trying to hint that Peter Is Clueless #Trying to think of OTHER THINGS Tony could be doing to TRY to get Peter's attention

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prince-boi · 5 years

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Lucas Highschool!AU

(Bulleted dot points)

Word count: 1.1k

I don't proofread because who needs to??

Btw lot’s of flirting and cringe

Maybe some creakheaded-ness too because why not? 💁‍♂️ 💁‍♂️

WOOHOO first write 2019 and a b!tch is whIPPED!!1!!!11!!!11!1!!

LETS GET IT

YoOOOoooOOOo ok

Someone come collect yO MAN

THIS GIF IS REALLY PHOWWFFWWWWWWWWWWWOOO

Bruh where do i even start????

okay but imagine him in your school uniform??? i’m gonNA DIE

He’d either be the type to arrive at school early and wait for you at the gate or be 2 hours late with a bottle of chocolate milk in his hand

There’s no in between

Moving on-

Like when he’s at school he’d do stupid shit like stick post-it notes in your book when you’re not looking

They’ll have messages in them like

“Your hair looks hella good today”

“Are you a parking ticket because you got fine written all over you ;D”

“What’s the answer to question 4???”

“Yo I got some of your fav snacks today! Not including me ;))”

Sometimes draws diccs in your homework diary-

likes to put snacks in your bag when you’re not looking

When the bell rings for Morning tea/lunch-

The moment the teacher dismisses your class Lucas would grab your wrist and zoOOM to the canteen to get some orange juice before the line gets too long-

“LUCAS I CANT KEEP UP SLOW DOWN-”

“B!ITCH I DONT WANT TO WAIT IN NO LINE”

“you’re literally dragging me-”

“You should wear heelies next time-”

Whenever you leave your class late he always saves you a seat-

but if there’s none available-

“You can sit on my lap girly ;)”

“I’ll just sit on the ground-”

“nO wait-”

Insist on walking you to class even tho most of your classes are the same?? Like??? whats the point?

Tends to rest his elbow on your head

Likes to tease you and says mANY cheesy pickup lines-

“I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you ;))”

“You wanna be a shaWTy, shorty?”

“I’m sorry were you talking to me?” [You: Um yes i was No] “Well you should start ;)”

Plays pranks on you

When he sees you coming around the corner he hides and tries to scare you-

“Lucas I saw you hide-”

“bO0! Haha, I scared you didn't I? ;)”

“I could see your heAD”

Once put a whoopie cushion on your chair for a prank but almost got his ass beAT

When you tried to give him the silent treatment he threatened to snitch on you if you ignore him any longer

“I’ll tell Thaun you were the one that spilt orange juice all over his bag during lunch”

“omg Lucas why you so mean?? :((”

“I’m sorry I won't snitch if you quit ignore me :/”

“fine-”

“AWE YOU SO CUTE WHEN YOU POUT”

“please don't squeeze y/n so hard, you’ll break them” -Taeil

“Shut up Taeil! >:(”

Oh yeah he has friends!

Most of them are close to graduating :D

but for some reason Lucas likes to hang with some younger students that he calls dreamies???

“It’s because they still have dreams in life and aren’t as dead on the inside like use older students :)))”

#studyhardguys #prayforstudents

Is reALLY good friends with his guy name Mark??

They lowkey have their own language becauses these headasses always saying random things and "skRRt"+ other noises

they both literally laugh at anything and everything

the both of them once got kept back after class because they couldn’t stop laughing during science when they were dissecting frogs-

“omg poor pePE”

“hEHHeHhHEHE

*extrEME whEezing and coUGHing”

“lmAOO looks at this dude dance- fRICK i dropped the frog”

“duDE EHHEHhEhhAJJDHDICW”

“BRO DoNt slIPJHSIJHAHIDH”

“See me after class boys! :/”

Even tho this boy acts stupID AF

He’s really smart and puts a lot of effort into his studies and many of his classmates tend to dismiss his achievements :(((

Of course he’s a school athlete and joins after-school sports programs too

But he would definity put his studies first if he really needed to

after all he really wants to make his parents proud and be a good role model omg stop I dont this to angsty --

During special days like Valentines, Lunar New Years or your bday etc-

He likes to gift you special stuff and its like UWU

After spending 2 months spying on you whenever you unlock your locker so he gets your passcode he always leaves you shit gifts

Like when he got you matching rings on Valentine's day-

“Hey y/n check your locker :))”

“Did you fill it up with all of Chenle and Jisung’s chip bags again :/”

“How dare you think I would do the same prank again?? What do you take me for :((”

You’d open your locker and there was this box wrapped in aluminium foil-

“Why is it wrapped with tin foil??”

“I wanted it to look pretty and didn't have any shiny wrapping paper :(”

When you open it you literally almost punch Lucas in the face oOF

There were 2 silver rings in it with both of your names carved in them-

“ohmAGAH luCAS how much did this cost???”

“Just as much as our friendship ;))”

“bRUH”

“Happy Valentines!! <3333″

So yeeeeeee you guys wore some cuteass rings 🤩🤩🤩🤩

Whenever the term/semester is about to end and most of your classes has free time

He’d whiP out his portable speaker and Mark would connect to it and play some mAD tUnes bRO🤙🤙🤙

And our boy Lucas would be getting 🔥🔥🔥🔥

He’d be dancing on the tables-

Singing like his life depended on it-

“Lucas please get down you’re gonna dIE” -Jungwoo

“i’M a bAd bih y0U cAnt kILL mE”

*crash*

“that shi huRTED”

Overall Lucas most certainly be the class clown and bring joy to many people. He'd make friends really easily - whether they're fellow students (young and old) or the teaching staff - he just has natural charm :) Even though he lives up to his rep of being a crackhead most people don't take note of his hard work in his studies and sometimes it frustrates him but that okay because he learnt not to hold grudges. He’s a good student but also knows that life is short and likes to have fun and make people smile, even if he looks like an idiot doing it :’)) He would also liked to be reassured every now and then too.

This gif is so cute uwu

#lucas #yukhei #nct #wayV #nct u #nct lucas #wong lucas #nct imagines #lucas fluff #lucas imagines #nct fluff #nct senarios #wong yukhei

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moviestorian · 5 years

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Les Mis BBC final thoughts

Alright, on monday I finished the 6th and last episode of the most recent, mini-series adaptation of Les Misérables. I was slightly hesitant about posting my thoughts (mostly because of the tag being largely dominated by negativity; any effort to post anything else seemed kind of pointless to me), but I eventually decided to go for it. I still wanted the entire show to sit in for a while (I also want to do a rewatch, because I can't guarantee that my feelings remain the same; I might just as well change my opinions completely). But let's begin!

Tldr; Also, unpopular opinion alert: I actually enjoyed it. A lot. I genuinely liked the miniseries. Yes, there were some choices and things I wasn't exactly fond of, but I have the same thing about literally every single adaptation I have seen so far (mostly thinking of the stage musical and 2012 film). Cause you know, you can like something and still see its flaws, and the other way round - you can dislike it and yet admit it is not inherently bad.

Now, the longer "review" comes in. It's gonna be reaaaally long. Also: spoilers.

The negatives/things I'm indifferent about/what could have been better:

- I'm following the popular trend of disliking that font. I care a lot about cinematography and visual parts of films and shows, so I wasn't satisfied with this particular choice. They could do better, honestly.

- For most of the time, the music was a bit meh. Nothing really striking or to hate, but compared to the War&Peace 2016 soundtrack (which was amazing!), this one was very undermining. There were some individual songs I liked a lot, though.

- The overall cinematography was ok. Again, nothing super special, but there were some pretty nice shots, too. I had some minor objections about cgi in a few scenes, but let's that the 2012 film wasn't exactly flawless in this aspect, too... If not worse.

- Ok, confession time & another unpopular opinion alert: I genuinely think the script is not half as bad as some people on this site try to tell everyone and the majority of their issues is either exaggerated to an enormous extent or comes from a huge prejudice. Or a general but pretty clear misinterpretation of certain scenes. Having said that, I had issues with the script, too. Davies did a waaay better job with his W&P, really. Although I actually like some of his changes or narrative choices, there is one thing I can't exactly ignore: how certain scenes were pure exposition. I think it got better in the later episodes, but I spotted at least two(!) examples just in episode one alone. Davies, being the experienced author as he is, should really know that it's not a good way to write scenes, especially in the first episode (which is supposed to encourage the viewers to keep watching). There's nothing more annoying to me than being treated, as a viewer, as a person who needs a straight-in-your-face explaination of what’s happening on screen.

- Another fairly popular trend: the brothel & the wet dream sequences. Even though I expected both of these to be A LOT worse, given what the fandom was saying (exaggerating again), and I don't think they are "out of character" or unrealistic in terms of the setting, I tried to cut these out from the episode (in my head ofc). And I think we could do without them; the brothel scene could remain in the final cut, but I would make it way shorter.

- What I REALLY disliked: a minor thing, but it bugged me a lot. I mean the main dialogue being in English, and the background dialogue in French. Christ, how I hate when they do such stuff in the movies...(thankfully the main characters didn't try to pull off their fake French accent, that would be even worse) Either you do it in French, or in English. One has to be consistent.

- The pissing scene in ep1 was...weird.

- Valjean being mean to Gavroche.

- The timeline was sometimes a bit odd, if not crazy, but could’ve been way worse (nothing can surpass P0ldark and its weirdly ageing children and even more weirdly, or not at all ageing adults)

- Valjean firing Fantine left me with very mixed feelings. On the one hand, I think it makes sense narratively, in this particular adaptation, it’s also not the first one who makes Valjean responsible for Fantine’s misery (to a smaller or bigger extent). On the other one, it’s not a choice I’m super happy about so...

Now, let's move on to the positives!

- Excellent choice in casting. I think all of the actors did a solid job. Obviously they had some veteran, experienced or acclaimed actors like Bradley, Sumpter, Jacobi, Colman, West... You couldn't expect any less from them. BUT there were also some younger and fresh faces, who's interpretations of their characters I really loved - Lily Collins, Erin Kellyman, Reece Yates, Josh O'Connor. Liked Joseph Quinn and Ellie Bamber a lot, too, especially the former. Obviously, I cannot NOT mention David Oyelowo! He was particularly impressive in the last episode.

- You have no idea how grateful I am for the entire Pontmercy storyline, honestly. I have so many feelings about Georges Pontmercy it's not even funny. Also baby Marius!!! Huge props for the Marius/Guillenormand dynamics.

- Fantine's storyline. I love the focus on her in this adaptation, and instead of merely showing her "downfall", we got to see her entire background story and many faces of her character. From naivety and joyful innocent to her determination to survive, and, finally, her desperate attempts to feed her daughter. I love that we got to see a glimpse of her relationship with Cosette. I love that, heartbreaking as that scene was, we got to see the moment of her leaving her child with the Thénardiers. Loved that she was also outspoken at times. I really felt for her in this series. Naturally, I always do have tons of empathy for Fantine, she's one of my favourite characters in general, but I found Lily Collins' version to be particularly relatable.

- Btw: I disagree that Fantine and Cosette were overly "sexualized" or fetishized. And don't even get me started on the supposed "sexual undertones" between Cosette and Valjean, cause this is utter bullshit.

- I actually liked the relationship between Cosette and her Papa, especially when she was little!

- I loved Gavroche in this adaptation. I'm usually not a huge fan of his, but Reece was so charming and impossible to resist!

- All the side characters (good or bad) we finally got to see at least for a while! I already mentioned the Pontmercies, but I also mean: Petit Gervais, Tholomyès and his gang (+Favourite and Zephine), Azelma, Gavroche's little brothers, Mabeuf, even Victurnien. And Sister Simplice, I love that woman. And Rivette. 😁

- Huge thumbs up for portraying the Thénardiers as the evil/malicious people they were (but not one-dimensional, esp. Madame Th.) instead of as some comic relief only.

- Contrary to the popular opinion, I count Les Amis as the positives. I actually think that narrowing down the number of the students to focus on was a good choice (like, excuse me, but giving a few lines to a character in an ensemble song is not enough to give them personality. Even in the book some hardly had one). And guess what? I legit cared more about this Enjolras or this Courfeyrac than in other adaptations. I liked Quinn's version of Enjolras more than I like Hugo's original character. This is obviously a personal preference, but to me personally Quinn's slightly toned down version, sort of a hybrid of Enjolras and Combeferre was way more appealing (I also think Quinn had more innocence and wide-eyedness in his eyes and face than some most popular actors who have played the role. To me, the accurate hair colour is the least sygnificant thing, honestly. Especially that some of the fans' favourites hardly fit the book description in that aspect).

- The Enjolras/Grantaire execution scene.

- Small interactions between Enjolras and Courfeyrac. Especially the ones in the final moments of the resistance. Oh my...

- Overall, the barricade scenes were very good.

- I liked Marius a lot, which is quite a thing! I loved that we got the awkward, but still adorable side of his. I had seen Josh in The Riot Club and I remember him being good but not memorable; I was impressed with his performance in Les Mis, he was so different!

- Erin's Éponine broke my heart. Especially in episode 5, she was fantastic. So many expressions in her eyes; I loved her fidgety hand moves, too!

- I appreciate that they started the show with something other than the galleys/bishop Myriel. That was a nice and quite refreshing take.

What else do I like about this adaptation? That it revived my passion for Les Mis; that it made me want to reread the book (or certain chapters at least), rewatch the 2012 film, listen to songs from the musical, check out other adaptations. That it’s gonna bring new people to the fandom. And, whether you like it or not, it DOES offer new interpretations of the characters and actually does give a fresh take. Every adaptations gives us something new to discuss, this one included. I also don’t believe it’s the worst thing that ever happened to Les Mis or whatever; I happen to think it actually is a good adaptation overall. Is it flawless or 100% accurate in everything? No, because it’s impossible to turn such a huge and detailed book into a 100% faithful adaptation; also it’s really not what the adaptations are for. I too would have added/cut out some stuff from various versions of Les Mis, but this is because it’s my interpretation; the fact that we imagine some things differently does not mean that other people’s interpretations are bad.

Since films and tv shows belong to the visual media, I think that Les Mis BBC could have done better in that aspect - I wasn’t exactly satisfied with it, as I wasn’t exactly over the moon about some choices in the script. It’s not a masterpiece, but I never expected it to be one; neither it is a “piece of shit”. Despite its flaws, I still found the miniseries to be very enjoyable and I will gladly rewatch it in the near future. I feel that it might even become one of my favourite adaptations(I will decide once I’ve seen them all, or most of them!), save for the interpretation of JVJ, which could’ve been better tbh. For me, it’s a nice 7,5/10

#les miserables 2018 #long post #wera speaks #gotta prepare for the unfollows #les mis bbc

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demyrie · 5 years

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I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult.

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it.

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life.

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us.

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there.

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too.

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

#just another mission #jam #demyrie writes #personal #abuse #stalking #emotional manipulation #i would say p/edophilia but this site doesnt know what that means and this isnt it either so how about abuse of a minor #recovery #mental health #suicidal ideation #triggers #Anonymous

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marshmallow-phd · 6 years

Text

The Experiments

Genre: Sci-Fi, Thriller, experiment au

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Exo (????)

Summary: You were a med school graduate who just wanted to help research cures for the world. Instead, what you got was a dream job at EXO Applied Sciences. That is, until you discover the secrets of Level Sixty-Six and the nine inhabitants that inhabit there….

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I 15 I 16 I 17 I 18 I 19 I 20 I 21 I 22 I 23 I Final

A/N: This is a story that had been bouncing around in my head for a while. I hope you all enjoy it! The pairing is unknown right now because I’m still trying to decide who (y/n) should end up with. BTWs the picture is not mine. Happy reading!! XOXO

EXO Applied Sciences and Operations was the dream job. You had to be at the top of your class to entertain the idea of the company as a possibility and even then, there’s no application process. You have to be offered the job personally, no exceptions. Those who wanted to spend their lives doing research and finding cures vied for the right to be accepted there. And that was exactly your goal.

Since high school, you knew you wanted to be a doctor. By the time you got into medical school and had to start boggling down on a specialty, you realized you didn’t want to be in an OR or the ER; you just didn’t have the steady hands for that. But you liked the experiments. You liked analyzing the data and coming to conclusions, finding the answers to problems those before you couldn’t solve.

All the hard work paid off. You graduated third of your class. Not exactly the top spot, but it was enough. The day of your graduation ceremony, after all the cheers, speeches, and annoying traditions that still somehow get carried on, a man in a black suit pulled you off to the side, handing you a large manila envelope. At home when you were alone, with shaking hands and a pounding heart, you opened the package. Sliding out the stack of papers, you read the first sentence and nearly fell off the couch.

It was the invitation you’d been waiting for. All the information you needed to accept the job was right at your fingertips and you didn’t hesitate. But those first six months were brutal.

Though it wasn’t officially “entry level”, it might as well been. On your first day they introduced you to the other new hires in your area and dropped you off in a large laboratory where the walls were lined with filing cabinets and a long table in the middle littered with desktops.

You were on paper pushing duty. As the results of the experiments that other people were conducting came in, it was up to you and the other bottom feeders to organize, sort, and label the findings and put them in the filing cabinet to be easily accessible later on. If someone came in needing those results, you were there to find the file and check it out in the system. There was only one room that was off limits to all of you in the laboratory. A special code encrypted on the company-issued badge was needed to gain access. The others around you were all dying to know what lied beyond the secret door, but you didn’t really care. You just wanted out of that damn filing position.

As the months rolled by, you watched the faces of the people around you change. Some were transferred to other departments while others just flat out quit. You held on, though, just needing to get through the grilling trial of being the newbie. You weren’t going to quit just because the road got a little bumpy. But it was a bit disheartening to watch others be freed while you were left behind.

It was another day of expected boring paperwork when your luck finally change. As soon as you clocked in, you were pulled out of the laboratory and into the office of Dr. Kwon Daesuk. You’d never met him, but you’d heard some of the other doctors whisper his name as they passed through the lab right to the secret door. Worry washed over you. Had you done something wrong? Had important files gone missing?

Dr. Kwon was sitting at his large desk looking over files as you entered. As one of the top researches for EXO, it was no surprise that he was up there in the age department. His hair was more silver than black and his face was littered with crevasses that wrinkled even more when he frowned. Though he wasn’t as big as some of the other doctor’s you’d seen, he did have a little extra weight on him that gave him the aura of a grandfather you could trust.

When he saw you standing in his doorway, he motioned for you to sit down in one of the simple, dark wooden chairs in front of him. The upholstery was a garish green and tan paisley pattern. At least you were sitting on it and not having to stare at it.

“Good morning, Dr. (L/n),” he greeted, closing the files. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you here today?”

You nodded cautiously, your entire work history running through your mind. As far as you remembered you hadn’t had anything disciplinary worthy happen.

“Well, we’ve been monitoring your work here so far and you seem to be very dedicated. As you certainly are aware, most people don’t make it to the sixth month mark. We wanted to be sure of your determination.”

“Working for EXO Applied Sciences has been my dream for a long time,” you answered honestly. “I wasn’t just going to give it up for some pharmaceutical company that I have no interest in because I wasn’t handed a lead position right of the bat. If that meant another six months of filing before being moved to a team, I’d do it.”

Dr. Kwon grinned. “That’s exactly what I like to hear. Dr. (L/n), you’re no longer stationed in the holdings lab. We’re moving you to level sixty-six.”

You nearly choked on the air in your throat. Level sixty-six was deep underground and the most secretive area in all of EXO. It was where the government sanctioned experiments and top-secret holdings that no one but the select few knew about were located. It was also access to the forbidden room.

“Your thesis on using animal DNA to heal injuries and cure diseases was fascinating and exactly the kind of ideas we need here.” He tossed over a badge to your side of the desk. Your picture that you’d taken on your first day here was smiling up at you and a tiny new symbol that you couldn’t quite make out from this distance was shining in the top right-hand corner. It looked like a hexagon, but you’d have to confirm it later with a closer look. “You’ll need this to gain access to the basement. Come with me. We’ll start the tour.”

You followed him out of the office and back to the laboratory that you would no longer call home. Your former coworkers watched you pass the tables, their eyes growing wider than petri dishes at the realization of where you were headed. Dr. Kwon stopped in front of the door that, until now that it, had never really given you excitement.

“Ladies first.”

With a little worry that your badge wouldn’t work, you held it up to the square black pad off to the side and watched with glee as the small red light switched to green. Dr. Kwon opened the door slowly and allowed you to enter first. Whatever your imagination had conjured up about this room, it was a complete let down that shouldn’t really have surprised you.

Bright florescent lighting stung your eyes as the beams bounced off of the white and chrome surfaces. Twelve individual filing cabinets lined the walls, four drawers high. Each cabinet had its own designated number, large and black on the top drawer. Three of them had a harsh red “X” passing through them.

You turned around to face Dr. Kwon, who was smiling at you expectantly. “What exactly is housed in here? I mean, what do we do on level sixty-six?”

More importantly, what would you be doing there? And would you constantly be having to ride the elevator up here?

A little chuckle left his thin lips. “Well, my dear, level sixty-six is where we conduct the human trials. Thanks to grants given by our wonderful government, we’re working on the ultimate soldier.”

“Super soldiers?” you scoffed. That was seriously still a thing? “Like Captain America?”

“Not quite,” Dr. Kwon countered, walking over to the filing cabinet labeled “12” and pulled out a file. He handed it over to you. Inside was a standard info sheet, including the subject’s date of birth and their current height, and weight. All that was missing was their picture. “They’re Special Forces, but we’re concentrating on the healing factor, especially for severe injuries, along with unique abilities that could come in handy in covert operations.”

Now your interest was piqued. “What kind of abilities?”

“In time, in time.” Dr. Kwon took the file back and replaced it into the cabinet.

Your eyes settled in the large red “X”’s. “What happened to these three?”

Dr. Kwon frowned. “They were transferred to our Chinese division. They’re doing much better over there.”

There was no explanation for it, but for some reason the way he phrased the transfer set you on edge, like a ghost story around a campfire. But there was nothing unusual about a patient moving to another building for further testing. Maybe your nerves were just getting the best of you today.

“Come now, let’s introduce you to your new coworkers.” Leading the way to the elevator, Dr. Kwon explained to you how your full hours were to be taken in the basement, including lunch breaks, just for precaution’s sake. There was a fully stocked break room and bathroom facility, so the only reason to ever leave was to come to the holding room for any files that you may need.

Once again, your badge was needed to access the basement from the elevator and when the doors dinged open, they revealed a small round lobby that broke off into two hallways at eleven and one o’clock respectively.

“Your main lab is down this way,” Dr. Kwon said, leading you down the hall to the right.

You couldn’t hold in your curiosity. “What’s down the other hall?”

“Oh, that’s where we house the subjects,” he clarified. “For safety precautions.” Safety precautions. You seemed to be hearing that a lot. It shouldn’t be that strange since this was a laboratory, but the way Dr. Kwon was saying those words was sending strange signals off in your head. Maybe you were still just waiting for him to say “just kidding!” and make you go back to filing for another six months.

That strange, ominous feeling just could be shaken from you as the hall, lined with heavy metal doors on either side, seemed more like a jail than a housing center, but you forced the thoughts away. You still didn’t know exactly how things operated down here and for all you knew on the other side of those doors could be five star hotel rooms.

Dr. Kwon stopped at the second door on the right. “This is our blood work lab and your new home.”

The lab was like any other you had worked in during med school. Everything was either white or chrome. Refrigerators with glass doors so you could see inside lined one side of the room, storing dozens of vials and dishes waiting for testing. Other display cases showcased glass slides, each shelf labeled with a corresponding number with the cabinets upstairs. At the long table in the middle of the room sat a woman around your age in purple scrubs looking into a microscope while an older woman in her mid-forties stood over her, writing on a clipboard.

The older woman noticed you first and bowed a greeting.

“Hello, there. You must be (y/n).” she stepped forward as the younger one looked up. “I’m Dr. Wang.” Your new boss appeared to be a kind woman, her smile wide and genuine. Her hair was pulled back into a precise and sharp bun without a hair out of place. “This is my assistant, Dr. Kher. I’ve been waiting for you to arrive here since you accepted our offer. I’m looking forward to what you can bring to our research team.” She held out her hand and you took it enthusiastically.

“Thank you,” you beamed. It was the greatest compliment you had ever received.

Dr. Kher stood up and walked up to join the group. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m happy I won’t be by myself anymore.” She was beautiful, with caramel skin and dark hair to compliment it. Her friendly grin just seemed to pull the whole package together. You hoped that her personality was just as pretty. So far, it seemed so.

“Well, I will leave her to you then,” Dr. Kwon bowed and left us alone.

Dr. Wang shook her head as she watched him leave. “I can’t believe he made me wait six months to get you down here. I wanted you from day one, especially after getting a hold of your thesis. Your analysis on blood work is right in line with what we’re doing down here. But no, you still had to go through the trial period.”

“I’m surprised they waited six months,” Dr. Kher chimed in. “I was only up there for three before they pulled me down here.”

“Oh, well,” Dr. Wang sighed. “We’ll just have to make up for lost time. Dr. (L/n), I’ve already taken the liberty in pulling the files for subjects’ Zero-One, Sixty-One, and Ten for you. I’ve pulled all their vials and set up your station; it’s just across from Dr. Kher. I’ll be in and out today, we’re running some further tests on subject Zero-Four. For now, I just want you to become familiar with those three subjects and get to know their blood like the back of your hand. Later on, I’ll introduce you to more subjects and what we’re aiming for. At the end of the day, just make sure everything is put back into its proper place, including taking the files back up to the filing room. If you have any questions, Dr. Kher should be familiar with everything by now.” She checked her watch at the end of her speech. “Oh, I’ve got to go. But I’m so glad to have you here.”

Practically running out of the room, Dr. Wang disappeared from view, her white lab coat flapping behind her.

“That’s about the same introduction I got when I transferred here,” Dr. Kher mused. She turned to you with that smile still on her face. “I read your thesis, too, although it seemed a bit comic book to me.”

You blushed with embarrassment. “Well, to be honest, that’s where the inspiration came from. However, all the research is legitimate, Dr. Kher.”

She threw her hands up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. Just an observation. I know your research was accurate. Oh, and you can call me Nada when it’s just the two of us.”

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured. “I’m just protective over my work. And you can call me (y/n).”

“Well, (y/n), I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

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