#the MELODRAMA. the ANGST. obsessed

[flutemelodies]

Can you do I’m just Ken from Barbie😭

I’M JUST KEN - BARBIE (2023)

#flute notes #ken #barbie 2023 #ryan gosling #pop rock #barbie soundtrack #greta gerwing barbie #asks #the MELODRAMA. the ANGST. obsessed #also so many fucking key changes so apologies if i miss a sharp or a flat #its ok to make mistakes tho bc i am kenough

[mygloviesme]

cool about it, eleven years later. || myg

no. 2 of 3: she called me a fucking liar

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: eleven years later, kanako lives in nyc with her childhood best friend keiko. bts have become a household name that floods her every day life, and she's learned to ignore it. after years of moving on from those months she spent with the seven boys, she finds herself in a good place. what happens after one fateful night she finally runs into faces she's tried so hard to run away from?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 4.6k

genre: ANGST, fluff, melodrama

chapter warnings: mentions of mental health, drinking, smoking

inspo song: worldstar money by joji

JULY 9TH, 2023, 10:48PM

The woman next to Yoongi loops her arm around his, holding him close. A knife puncturing my stomach only twists further. Further and further. 

“Who’s this?” She asks genuinely, kindly. Oh, I loathe her. I hate myself for it but I hate her more. The feelings I’m having are childish and jealous, completely unreasonable. But she’s so perfect. Her body fits into his like they were made for each other. I don’t recognize myself right now. It feels like high school with the way I’m obsessing over her every move. 

All I want to do right now is run into the club and down more drinks than I can fathom. Self destructive is the right word. I was never one for spite, but right now I wish I had a man on my own arm. 

“This is…Kanako.” He speaks, gulping. 

Her eyes widen and she breaks apart from him, taking my hands. “Oh my goodness! I didn’t even recognize you! I’m Aimee, remember? I was a trainee at Bighit for a little while.” 

The memories flood my brain as I recount who exactly she was. I do remember her. After the news broke out, she was the one who told me I could still take back what I said about Haneul. She was on his side. 

This is who he’s with? I feel a burning in my stomach, a validating one. I have a reason to dislike her. It gives me reason to hate her. And God, do I hate her right now. 

I look at Yoongi as Aimee holds my hands in hers, utter incredulity painting my face like a mural. I’m not sure if he remembers, but I do. Those words all those years ago were repeated over and over again so I could hate myself even more. She was amongst the people that made me afraid to go outside ever again. 

Haneul doesn’t have that power over me anymore, and neither does she. At least for being on his side. But I’m definitely giving her power by wanting to rip her away from Yoongi. This is getting embarrassing. 

“Yes. I do. You were friends with Haneul, weren’t you?” I smile with bitterness. I’m old enough to make statements now. I’m old enough to create boundaries. I don’t have to lie about liking someone. Fuck being the bigger person. I’ve been big, I’ve been small. I’ve done it all. 

Her beaming smile fades and she lets go of me, “N-No. Well, yes. But I know better now, I’m so sorry for what I said. I haven’t spoken to him in over a decade.” She says. Yeah, right.

Yoongi only stands with his hands in his pockets, not saying a word. I don’t want to be talking to Aimee, but I’m not entirely sure I want to be talking to him either. I don’t know if I have the strength to, considering how it went with Jungkook. There’s too many thoughts circling my mind at this very moment, all of them being about Yoongi. I don’t even know if I would consider him an ex, someone I knew, the one that got away. Because that would be me, I got away. 

I know I should’ve moved on long ago. I know I did in certain ways. But still after all these years I never understood why I could never give myself to someone else.The feelings for Yoongi had never dissipated, I just forgot what it’s like for him to be standing in front of me. Looking like that. 

This hurts so fucking bad. 

“Hey, Koko.” I hear Keiko say from behind Yoongi. She holds her bag as well as mine. Her body is asking if I’m ready to go. She knows. “It’s alright Aimee. Have a good night.” I say and nod to Yoongi who makes strong eye-contact with me. 

I turn to Namjoon, “How long are you going to be in New York for?” 

“Just two more days.” He says, “We can meet up again if you’d like.”

I walk to Keiko, grabbing my bag. “I’ll call you.” I tell him. He nods slowly and I wave a quick good-bye before me and Keiko head off into the Uber she called over. 

As I walk away I’m fighting the urge to look back. I didn’t then, but I want to now. A part of me wants to tell Yoongi that I want to see him again. But the other part wants me to ignore all those precious memories we have together and lock them in a box, throwing away the key. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. I grip my purse tighter, biting my lip. 

Before we get into the Uber, I reluctantly choose to look back. I hold the car door with one hand, turning to Yoongi. He was already looking at me. Those almond eyes. I keep that short moment in my back-pocket, saving it for tonight. 

He looked back, and so did I. 

JULY 9TH, 2023, 12:34AM

Me and Keiko sit on my bed, face masks on and a tub of ice cream between us with one spoon staked in the frozen dessert. It’s rocky-road, my favorite but her least favorite. She knew how much I needed it though, so she succumbed to the chunky-goodness. 

“So how was it?”

“What?”

She rolls her eyes, “You know what I’m talking about.”

I take a deep breath, exhaling for a moment. “Awful. Jungkook was so upset, and I mean for the right reasons. But it just took me by surprise. He was so…sure with himself. Namjoon is sort of the same. Level-headed. But Yoongi…”

“He has long hair now.”

I shove her playfully, “Shut up!”

She takes the spoon, dipping it into ice cream before pulling it to her mouth. “Sorry. You were saying?”

I lean my hands back, “I felt like it was the first time all over again.”

“Like no time had passed?”

I pull a face, “It’s so stupid.” 

She raises her eyebrows, giving her head a small tilt. “Just a little.” 

I scoff, “Kay, sorry if I thought this was a safe space.” 

“It is! It is. It's just funny to hear that is all. But I get it, trust me. Although it’s been eleven years.”

“Don’t rub it in! I know. But besides that, seeing him was so unreal. Unlike the others, he just seemed…the same. I don’t know. Should I see Namjoon tomorrow?” I ask, grabbing the spoon from her hand to have a bite. 

“Well, what I’m hearing is you asking if you should see Yoongi tomorrow.” She purses her lips. 

I nod sheepishly. “Maybe I am.”

“Kanako, can I be serious with you? For just a moment.” She stops and places her hands on my shoulders. I hold the spoon in my hand nervously, looking at her serious expression. “Sure.” I’m not. Keiko’s brutal honesty is never something to be ignored. 

“As much as I love to encourage your bad decisions, I have to draw a line. Because I love you, and because I think you know this too…don’t try to stir things back up with him.”

I pout, “That wasn’t exactly my intention-”

“I know. But at your core, you’re a romantic. A lifelong monogamist, as much as you don’t like to admit it. You haven’t been in a real relationship in eleven years, and that makes me worry for you. And your vagina.” 

“You know I’ve been trying to open up more!”

“Yes babe, but after eleven years? You couldn’t have been waiting for him, were you?”

She keeps emphasizing eleven years which doesn’t make me feel good. I know it’s sort of something that’s been left unsaid, my lack of relationships. But I’ve played it off as not needing a man, being too focused on my work. I’m just a workaholic, it’s fine. Even though that isn’t necessarily true. I love my free time. I love having free time. I knew one day I’d gain the strength to start something up with someone else, I was just waiting. Yeah, waiting. 

“No! I mean not really. I just haven’t…felt that spark with anyone else.”

“Spark. Right.” She squints suspiciously. 

“It’s true!” I gasp. It isn’t. 

I settle down and play with the hem of my sweater, “Don’t act like I haven’t moved on.”

She cooes, “Oh, Koko. I know you have. I just think seeing him was hard for you. It brought up stuff, didn’t it?”

That’s definitely a word for it. Stuff. If stuff means feelings, yes. Feelings I can’t quite figure out. It’s not like I want to seduce him out of his relationship, but a part of me is so hungry to know him again. To know what he’s been up to, if he still likes his coffee the same, if his love for me hasn’t faltered. It hurts me so much to think that mine hasn’t. Haneul was never my first love, Yoongi was. What I felt for Yoongi was deeper, something I didn’t and couldn’t understand at eighteen.

What I had with Hanuel was a need to be seen, validated. There wasn’t any depth besides the trauma I got out of it. That’s a black hole I’ve gotten out of. With stories to tell and scars to hide, but It’s gone. Thank God. 

“Yeah…it did.”

She pulls me in for an embrace, kissing my forehead. “Do what you want, I love you. He’s just…obviously with someone new. I don’t want you to get hurt. But you should see Namjoon. And maybe try to fix things with Jungkook. That’ll make you feel better.”

I nod into her shirt, “Yeah, it will.”

She pulls herself back from the embrace, seemingly confused. “It kind of surprises me that your feelings are so strong for him…and yet you guys never had sex.”

“Trust me, that took me months to get over.”

JULY 10TH, 2023, 6:00PM

I move the hair in front of my face and adjust my soft pink top before I enter the rather expensive restaurant Namjoon had invited me to. This is definitely not a place we would’ve come to back then. Even I have never been here before. 

There’s a few moments before I’m met with a hostess, “Kanako?” She asks and I nod, gripping the handle of my purse tighter. My hands are growing clammier, embarrassingly enough. Namjoon asked if he could invite some of the other members that were here as well, and I accepted warily. I knew I’d easily get overwhelmed by seeing most of them again, but I didn’t know when I’d have another chance to. Seeing as they’re all busy and for the first time in eleven years I’m taking a leap of faith. 

I don’t know when I’d have this courage again. Especially if it means Yoongi might be there. 

She leads me to a seated area covered by a black curtain. Her hand delicately brushes it open for me, revealing the four familiar men. For some reason I expected something more dramatic, more tragic. I have pessimism on the brain, but can you blame me? It’s my easiest coping mechanism. My most self-destructive one. A common theme lately. 

She gives me leeway to enter and I respond to her with a quick thanks before entering the small room. The men all stand quickly but seem to be caught, saying nothing. Their eyes dart to each other for a quick minute before Jimin smiles, “You look great.” Unexpected, but I’ll take it.

They all look great too, all so mature and aged. I could take notes. But I think they’d be pricey notes.

It feels like I’m standing in front of strangers in a sense, eleven years taking off memories from me little by little. But I still remember a lot. Even with Jimin’s cadence in his voice, it’s so different. It’s softer. More gentle, like I’m a new friend. New friend. 

“Please, sit.” Namjoon insists and I do so, sitting next to him which seems like the safest bet. I place my purse down beside me and shuffle in my seat, “Thanks for…inviting me. It’s great seeing you all again.” I say, trying so hard not to cringe with my words. Just like last night, it feels like anything I say doesn’t amount to how big this situation is. 

We used to be all so close. I knew them. They called me their sister at some point. 

“You too. Sorry Taehyung couldn’t make it. He’s busy and all that.” Namjoon chuckles, planting his elbows on the table. Jungkook sits right in front of me, not speaking a word. His eyes stay looking down at the table, sometimes to Jimin. 

I don’t know whether to look at them or not, it all feels like the wrong move. What if they don’t like who I am now? The way I dress, speak, move. I want them to recognize me. I’m almost thirty, why do I care so much about what they think of me?

“We went ahead and ordered meat and other side stuff. You like fish cakes right? And beer? If not, I could get you something else.” Namjoon asks. 

“N-No, that’s all fine. Thank you…”

More silence. 

“I got spicy cucumber salad for you. I know how much you liked it then.” Jungkook says between the echoing quiet. Then. 

“Oh yeah, I still do. And I still like-”

“Pickled radish.” Yoongi whispers, fiddling with his hands. They remember. He remembers. 

I respond with a soft laugh, “Right.” 

He smiles too, looking up at me. One day I’ll stop feeling whatever this is I feel for Min Yoongi, but as long as he stays just like this, I don’t think that will happen any time soon. There’s a delicate fluttering in my stomach as we keep eye contact with each other, like it’s all that time ago. I would call myself delusional, crazy, everything that means that I’m looking too much into it. But if I could print this moment on paper, you’d believe me.

“So you guys are on a hiatus? How has that been?” I question genuinely. Jimin totters in his seat, making a ‘tsk’ sound with his mouth. It reminds me of Hoseok. I wish they were all here, but I’m glad I at least have this. 

“Taking a break has been great for most of us, but I’m still working on music and whatnot. So is Jungkook, but we definitely have more free time than we did a year ago. We wouldn’t have been able to go on a dinner like this if it were, say, 2021.” He says honestly. The boys nod in agreement. 

“Really?” I raise my brows in shock.

“Yeah, we were robots for like, six years straight. Non-stop working. What about you?” Jimin tilts his head.

“Yeah, Kanako. We’re- I am- very curious about what you’ve been doing. You went to college when you left, didn’t you?” Namjoon says it as if it isn’t a sore topic. It is for me, and with the way Yoongi shut down privately it seems like it was the same for them too. 

I play with the glass of water in front of me, “Yeah I did. I graduated with a degree in communications, so I work with my friend Keiko at the New York Times as an editor. She was doing an internship there and…managed to get us both in, I guess. I’m pretty lucky.” I admit.

Jimin’s mouth is agape, “Kanako, that's seriously impressive.”

I scoff, “Oh shush, nothing like being a global star. Mr. Nominated For A Grammy.” 

Namjoon shakes his head playfully, “There’s the Kanako I remember.” 

I smile to myself as I hear Namjoon’s comment, “But thanks Jimin.” I say.

Before he can reply a waiter comes in with multiple servings of all kinds of food. He places the raw meat besides the grill, following with the various side dishes all neatly surrounding the table. It’s so much food, something we definitely never did back then. 

Once everything is settled, Yoongi grabs the tongs, pointing them at me. 

“Make sure to eat a lot. It’s on us.”

JULY 10TH, 2023, 7:47PM

We’ve grown into a more comfortable banter as we all eat. Talking about celebrities they’ve met, encounters with fans in bathrooms, and something Namjoon wants to say to me. 

He chews on the kimchi that sits in his mouth, covering it with his hand. “I mean it’s not that big of a deal, but now that you’re here I just wanted to tell you because it sort of is a big thing.”

“Go ahead Joon.” I assure him. 

He swallows, “Well- uh. I’m bisexual. And I’m dating a guy. He’s cool.”

I widen my eyes. Definitely didn’t see that coming. I mean, kind of. He’s always been a very open-minded person, but I never heard him talk about any sort of crush. Besides that one time in a club, but I never assumed he was straight. Or anyone else, for that matter. I’m happy for him though. I know it must be hard for them to maintain relationships during all this chaos, but the dust has settled. And he seems happy, which is most important. 

“Oh sweet.” I reply nonchalantly, hoping to not scare him away. 

“That’s it? Sweet?” He chuckles, turning over the cooking bulgogi. 

“Scratch that, I’m glad you found someone. That makes me happy you could do that in the midst of, you know everything that’s been going on for you. Where’d you meet?” I reply. 

He sighs, “Mutual friends. It was hard to connect with other guys during the, you know, spotlight. I’m still not out obviously, but he’s really okay with it. We go to art galleries and dinners and such. It’s pretty serious.”

I grin as I sip my beer, “Is he as smart as you?”

“He tries to keep up.” Namjoon replies with a smirk. 

Jimin perks his head up, “What about you Kanako? Anyone in your life?”

I gulp. It takes everything in me to not look at Yoongi. I hope the small beat after he asked the question isn’t obvious. I look down to my fish cake, “Not really.”

“Has there ever been? It’s been eleven years, you know.” He says. Ugh.

“You sound just like Keiko.” I mumble.

Namjoon tilts his head, “Are you and Keiko…”

I shake my head quickly, “No. Nope.” I respond to him, turning to Jimin. “Uh- some guys here and there but nothing ever serious. I’m pretty focused on my work. What about you, Jiminie?” I attempt to curb the conversation from myself. Trying to not make it obvious I’m hiding a deep, dirty secret that’s sitting across from me. 

There’s an abrupt laughter that bounces off the table. I look around, confused. “What am I missing?” I say. 

Jungkook laughs, “Jimin is the opposite of a monogamist.”

Jimin’s face washes over with an obvious scarlet, “I like to have fun, that’s all.”

I giggle and lean back in my seat, “Ahhh, I see.” 

That was an unsurprising answer from him. And I’m sure with the fame there’s even more options for a guy like him. “Is it limited to just women?” I ask. 

Jimin gasps, “Why does everyone ask that!”

Namjoon laughs hard, holding his stomach in the process. “Kanako is asking the real questions.” He chokes out whilst wiping tears from his eyes. 

“But to answer your question, definitely not.” Jimin gives a cheeky look to me as he responds. It’s clear he’s growing more buzzed by the minute. I assume that night at the club sparked something in him. It’s fun, for now. 

This news is all so raw to me but it’s so fluid. The aging only made the conversations better, more comfortable. There’s less hesitation and more openness. There’s still a silence in Yoongi’s corner, reminding me of how he was when I first met him. Shy. But the topic of conversation I know is something he doesn’t want to contribute to. Not after the awkward encounter I had with his supposed beau. His young, annoying beau. 

“And you, Jungkook?” I ask. 

Jimin pats the young boy on the arm, “Still afraid of women. But I think he was just having a hard time moving on from-”

“Shut up.” Jungkook is quick to quiet the tipsy man down. There is an obvious glow to Jimin’s cheeks as time passes, and I don’t remember how many glasses of beer he’s had if that tells you anything. His mouth is like a loose cannon. Things don’t feel great. The table turns quiet again. Something else I’m missing. Jimin shrugs. 

“Let’s just say Yoongi isn’t the only one still hung up on you.” He mutters under his breath, taking a big gulp of his beer. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

“Jimin, really?” Namjoon looks at him in disbelief. Jungkook is also shocked, holding a hand up as if he’s stopped in his tracks. “I can’t believe you said that.” The young boy whispers. 

Jimin tries to reach for Jungkook, slurring a small ‘I’msorry’ before Jungkook slides out of his seat to walk out of the room. Jimin follows the young boy in hopes to apologize. All I feel is second-hand embarrassment, confusion, and heaps of awkwardness. Yoongi sets down his chopsticks in a disappointed manner, exhaling loudly. 

He looks at me for the second time today, “Don’t pay attention to him. He’s grown to be a messy drunk.” He says. 

I nod and hang my head politely, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. But it might be too late for that, because before I can think I’m jolting my head back up in question.

“What did he mean, not the only one?” I ask, looking at the two men. 

Namjoon bites his lip, “Not sure if that’s our place to say.”

But what does it mean? Is Yoongi still hung up on me? Is Jungkook? I didn’t think he ever felt that way towards me, he called me his sister for god's sake. Was it a cover-up? Did feelings develop over time? How did I not know? How did I not expect this? This gives everything a new meaning that I do not want. 

I don’t want any of this. “I’m so sorry.” I whisper as I pick at my rice.

“It’s to be expected.” Yoongi responds, seriously. 

His tone is indistinct which causes me to be a bit bewildered, “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs apathetically, “Everything was…never concluded properly. You left things sort of a mess after you left.” 

I scoff and cross my arms, blatantly offended. “A mess?”

Namjoon attempts to break up the rising tension, “Guys let’s not-”

But Yoongi has intentions. Everything is coming to the surface, I know it. I hear the words flow from Yoongi’s mouth like he’s rehearsed them. Like he’s always known what he was going to say, eleven years later.

“We loved you, and you left. You can’t expect us to not have feelings about it.”

We loved you. The same knife digs into me as I hear him. 

“I’m not expecting anything. It’s just been-”

“Eleven years? Yeah, we know.” He laughs sarcastically. He always knows what I’m going to say next. In this moment I wish he knew nothing about me. 

There’s a bubbling frustration within me that grows to its peak, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I loved you all too, okay?” My words begin to adhere to him, unbeknownst to me. It’s coming out. “I spent days and nights thinking about you. I wanted to come back, I wanted to call. But it would make- it would’ve made moving on so much harder.”

“Why did you want to?”

“Want to what?”

Namjoon places a hand on my shoulder to cool me down but I’m an unstoppable forest fire, trees and wildlife burning down in front of their eyes. They’ve watched me crumble so many times it’s almost unbelievable it’s happening all over again. Some things really don’t ever change. 

“Move on, Kanako? Why!” Yoongi shouts. 

I sit up from my seat, planting my hands on the table angrily, “Because I loved you! I had just started to and I knew I had to stop if I was ever going to heal! Don’t you get that? I was in an abusive relationship at eighteen years old, I didn’t even know half of the things that happened to me really did happen! I coped the best way I could, so fuck you for blaming eighteen year old me!” I breathe heavily after I finish. The bowl of rice has toppled over all over my feet but I’m too angry to notice. This is what I needed to say after all these years. This is my honest truth. I’ve freed myself of the guilt I’ve held for all these years. 

Yoongi stays quiet, his gaze on mine as I stay above him. Namjoon looks at me too, aghast. I feel relieved but so big at the same time. Like a monster. 

“Kanako…” Yoongi whispers. “I know, I-I’m sorry. That was…” His voice trails off. 

I feel tears trickling down my face and wipe them quickly, slumping back down on the seat. Instead of running away, I stay. This time I will stay. 

JULY 10TH, 2023, 9:00PM

Yoongi ended up paying for dinner, even with how much of a slight disaster it turned out to be. We ended up continuing talking, rather casually, after our argument. It was the best I could do without leaving again. I wanted to stay there and fix things. But it was better to ignore it. 

Jungkook and Jimin stand outside, clearly done with a deep talk. Jungkook is smoking once again. I feel like I should say something about it, maybe even a joke. But I’m not sure if that’s my place anymore. Was it ever?

“Hey guys. Kanako. Sorry about that.” Jimin apologizes weakly. It’s obvious he’s sobered up a bit from the last time I saw him, but even under the street lights I can see he has a long way to go. 

“Don’t worry about it.” I promise him. Jungkook throws down his cigarette like he’s done it a million times before. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and walks over to me, eyeing the sky. His familiar unwillingness for eye-contact is more obvious than ever. 

“Hi Jungkook.” I say as he approaches me. 

He looks over to the boys behind me, hesitant to speak. “I understand now. I can’t imagine at that age having to go through what you did.” He confesses. He pulls me in for a random but pleasant hug. His body is much more solid than I remember, not as easy to hold, but his scent has stayed the same. How is that even possible? 

I accept the embrace and wrap my arms around him tightly, having to hold back tears. This feels so nice. I missed this. I wasted years longing for it again. There’s still an unanswered question of what exactly Jimin meant, but I let it slide. I let my mind clear completely to enjoy the present. 

“I missed you so much Jungkook.” I muffle into his chest. My eyes water. 

“Stay with me tonight. W-With us. Like old times.” He whispers as his head sits on top of mine. 

My body is lit like a furnace. It’s comforting this time, not intense. They can read my mind so easily. I want to, I have to. For one night before they leave, I will. 

“Okay.” 

click here to read more of this story!

a/n: I know nothing about grown up jobs or how they work!!! keep that in mind dear god!!!

#min yoongi #bts #bts imagines #agust d #fanfic #suga #yoongi #yoongi fanfic #bts fluff #bts hoseok #bts taehyung #bts jhope #bts seokjin #bts namjoon #bts jk #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts icons #bangtan #taehyung #bts army #jimin #bangtan sonyeondan #run bts #bts fanfiction #bts fic #bts ff #yoongi x fem

[motifcollector]

This is me literally every time I listen to Radiohead bc I was obsessed with them from age 11 or 12 through my teenagerhood and they are thus associated with all the melodrama of my adolescence. Girls when their teen angst anthems hit 😫

#radiohead #music

[mdhwrites]

Thanks for your response to my ask about the Guardian’s choice! You make a good argument; adherence to logic shouldn’t come at the cost of thematic consistency and compromising the message you’re trying to tell with your story. I do think logic and thematic consistency can coexist in stories, but that’s a whole other argument I won’t get into.

I’ve read some of your thoughts on Anne’s arc in season three, and it was both surprising (and fairly refreshing) to see someone argue that the way Anne reacted to the events of True Colors was appropriate for her character and fitting for the show, since so many viewers think Anne (and season three as a whole) should have been far more angsty. It’s given me a lot of food for thought regarding an argument I’m still conflicted on. I think you made a valid point that Anne is far too young to properly process such trauma, and that Amphibia has never really been that angst-focused of a story.

With that said, I think the reason so many people expected the story to go darker, even if that would go against the previously established tone, was because of how severe True Colors got with its stakes. While I understand your arguments, I don’t think people can necessarily be blamed for assuming a more serious tone would be an appropriate continuation to True Colors.

So do you think season three could have been darker while still maintaining its identity as Amphibia? Take Olivia & Yunan, for instance. That episode is often cited by fans as the darkest episode, but it still has good instances of humour and levity, so it never really gets bogged down by the dark stuff. The only downside is the tonal whiplash that occurs when following episode transitions back to wacky hijinks with the Plantars. But it shows, in my opinion, that Amphibia can go darker while not losing the wit and charm that defines it in the process.

Now, I don’t think season three would have worked if every episode was as dark as Olivia & Yunan, but I’m still curious as to whether you think the show could have been able to still be itself while adopting a darker tone.

Sooooo... No. I talked about this before but people are OBSESSED with trauma nowadays, especially in cartoons. However, if you actually understand basic storytelling, literally the most basic storytelling format, let alone fantasy storytelling... True Colors doesn't do shit.

True Colors is the start of the darkest hour for our heroes where all hope appears to be lost. Now when I say 'darkest hour', I'm not referring to genre or theme. I am explicitly referencing the Hero's Journey here with that statement for a reason. That's how ubiquitous it is. How many shows have the main character, or their best friend, get fucking stomped on shortly before the finale so as to give everyone the motivational boost they need to take on someone so much larger and more powerful than them? A LOOOOOT of anime, especially shounen anime, does this. If you look at the Rescue Sasuke arc from Naruto, fucking EVERYONE almost dies in that arc and it doesn't make the show more mature or dark, it is just the amplification of stakes to make the challenge and victory for our heroes all the more exciting.

This framing even fits with the narrative uses of the shocking elements in True Colors. Sprig getting his life threatened and Marcy being stabbed are catalysts. One pushes Anne to a new level while the other forces everyone to be ripped apart so that they can go on the journeys of self discovery that will make them ready for the final fight. Before then though... True Colors is still fun and 100% Amphibia. It ends on a dour note but spends the majority of its run time still being the same fun self that Amphibia always was with bits of seriousness because it's a season finale. Even Sprig having his life threatened is met with the same grandness of emotion that fits the show so well. The melodrama that makes epic fantasy so fun.

And then the show gives itself time to breathe and be back to itself for half a season to make sure that you understand that the show is still going to be what you expect from it. Injury may be more possible now but Amphibia is still Amphibia. It was never going to become Game of Thrones cartoon edition like I feel like some people push that it should have become. Admittedly, most of those people seem to quite literally only be interested in the show for the trio which is missing the forest for the trees.

There is one other element that signals to the audience that this isn't a real big deal. After all, who gets stabbed?

The sacrificial lamb.

Marcy is the weakest part of the show. I know that's controversial but unlike the rest of the characters, she is the one who is always playing to a narrative role. The only one that the writers would actually be willing to fridge for the sake of another character or shock value (with Frobo being the closest to ever have this happen to otherwise). So even if I had not been spoiled on it already, I would never have expected Marcy's stabbing to actually amount to a lot. She was never a genuinely important character. A fun, likable character? Sure. It'd be like killing Willow in TOH though. You killed the person who mostly just existed for others to react against? Why should I care about that?

And the show doubles down on this issue. I actually don't like Yunan and Olivia as an episode much. I think it's much darker than a good number of other S3 episodes (though I do understand why people consider it the darkest). Not any darker than Commander Anne at least because the darkest element to me is the fact that the world is fucked. But Marcy? Even Olivia admits that Marcy only matters because of her intelligence and its relation to Andrias. She doesn't give a single fuck about Marcy as a person besides, you know, thinking that a teenage girl shouldn't have her autonomy taken away from her.

But her autonomy was never there to begin with. Not to me at least. Her fear is the only one treated seriously in the episode, the other two are jokes pretty much, and even then it's all about Sasha and Anne, which her character was always facilitating more than her actual relationship with them. It's why I don't like Marcy at the Gates because Marcy is mostly just a smart cardboard cutout for Anne to angst against and the scavenger hunt episode is the same way. So yeah, we get an episode about her fear that then ends with her being fridged a SECOND TIME and the only real exploration of that is making Andrias sad. I don't really find that dark, I just think that sucks.

But it NEVER meant the show should be darker. The fandom just wanted that because it'd be brave and edgy and blech. Especially since again, no one in the fandom seems to be willing to recognize that the girls do deal with their trauma. Hell, Sasha does by wanting to throw Marcy away and be told that she doesn't need to care about her friend anymore. Doesn't have to think about what happened.

So while I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to have expected the show to get a little more mature post S2, asking for it to get 'darker' A: requires understanding what that actually means because TOH fans really struggle with understanding what 'dark' means for storytelling as well and B: actually requires stuff to happen that isn't a part of almost any fantasy story. You can talk about how awful it would be to actually have to happen to you but fantasy works off different logic. Dark fantasy is not just fantasy where a couple people get stabbed. Dark fantasy is where the entire system is corrupt and the story is exploring how those elements can be twisted in sin, greed and pain against others. Not just having characters cry, at least to me.

Hell, just as a last minute shout out: The toads from a meta perspective are actually one of the darkest elements of the series. They are oppressors, they are cruel and they profit off of the need others have for protection due to this being a harsh environment to live in. They practice the calculus of war and are self serving to the point of dehumanizing other races to justify their conquests. No one talks about that though because the show doesn't portray it darkly because this isn't dark fantasy. Instead, they're funny and relatable and actual people because framing does have a large part to do with a story's tone.

But stabbing? Lord of the Rings doesn't suddenly become more serious when Boromir dies. Besides mourning him, it doesn't signal a shift in the majority of the storytelling. It exists more to amplify stakes and to add tension to the journey and sell the new threat. That doesn't make it dark though, that just makes it a more exciting adventure.

Marcy getting stabbed is unfortunately just another side of that same coin so many stories use. So many regular fantasy stories, not dark fantasy ones.

======+++++======

As a note: Yes this ask, and kind of this chain of asks, is what motivated my previous blog about the confusing nature of 'dark' stories.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#amphibia #amphibia critical

[13eyond13]

Hello, do you mind if I ask that "bookish ask"? For no. 15, 34, and 50. Thanks if you want to answer.....

Hello! Sure, thank you for asking :)

15. What book changed your life?

This was a hard question!

I know I've mentioned this book already several times but in complete honesty I think Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice did geniunely change my life a bit whenever I first read it at 15 or 16. I was raised in a strict Christian home and sent to a tiny Christian school in a small town, and had all my media and activities and the people I was allowed to interact with and the stuff I did very closely monitored so that it was basically always Christian and rarely ever adult in content or themes or anything for most of my childhood and my early teens. So originally when I bought this book at the bookstore at age 15 and my mom found out about it I had to return it to the bookstore immediately, because she saw that it was about vampires and she thought it sounded bad. Normally I was pretty obedient and I hated to do anything against my parents' wishes, but by then I had already started reading it and was already pretty hooked on knowing what was going to happen next. So I sneaked around behind my mom's back to secretly buy it again, and then pulled a Light Yagami by gutting one of the wholesome children's books on my shelf to hide this forbidden book inside (this was before I ever watched Death Note, but whenever I saw Light using the same bookshelf trick to hide his magazines I was like HAHAHA omg no way). So reading this book and then several more of them in the series after that kinda marked the first time I ever really explicitly disobeyed the authority figures around me in order to read something considered off-limits or more "adult," and kinda made me realize that I felt like I was missing out on a whole gigantic part of life by only ever being restricted to that tiny little bubble of stuff I'd been exposed to thus far. Everything that the book touched on just resonated extremely strongly with me at the time, in large part probably due to my religious guilt and my questioning of these things (because oooh boy is it obvious that Anne Rice is a lapsed Catholic in her writing a lot of the time). But also I think the melodrama of the story matched with my teenage angst so well, and I definitely was vibing strongly with just how queer so much of the series feels as well (I didn't realize yet that I was gay, but I was starting to question things like that about myself a bit by then I think. It was very rare that I was ever exposed to anything not completely heteronormative back then due to it being the 2000s and due to being in a homophobic religious bubble my whole life, so this really was one of the very first times I was). I feel like reading this book really marked the beginning of me opening my mind up from the stuff that I'd just been raised to believe and acted like a nice gateway for me between that and exploring lots of other interesting things that had previously been off-limits to me before that as well.

34. List 5 OTPs: I don't think I actually have five OTPs! The only one I really truly have ever been long-term passionate about enough to call it something like an otp is Lawlight. I could name you a few other ships that I definitely find pretty compelling and angsty for me to think about as well right now though, like Nana and Hachi from the Nana manga series and Griffguts from Berserk

50. Why do you love to read?

Hmm! At this point I might say just that I'm kind of obsessed with stories and the art of storytelling in general. And I think what I love so much about books in particular is just how intimate they can feel and how deep into a character's head or specific point of view or a different world or time period or whatever you can get with them. It's a bit different than something like watching a show or a movie to really get to know a character or experience a story directly just through the words on the page. I like how much you can just make it all up for yourself (which is to me why it often feels really odd to see a book I loved turned into a movie or show that doesn't match what I pictured in my imagination). I was lucky enough to grow up reading and being read to by my parents quite a bit, so it feels homey and nostalgic to me to sit down with a good book too. And I feel like as an adult it's just one of the better hobbies I've ever had in terms of expanding my mind and challenging me and teaching me a lot about all the things that interest me the most.

[bookish asks]

#ask #dnana-2809-blog #p #books

[justfinishedreading]

Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe Volumes 1 - 5

Oh god I’m hooked, I bought and read all 5 volumes over the course of a week! Oh where to start. I first learned about the Hades and Persephone myth a couple of years ago when it was mentioned in the TV series Harlots, a murdering aristocrat force feds pomegranates to a sex worker and calls her Persephone, they later share a genuine bond but it is ultimately doomed because… well he’s a murder. Over the years Greek mythology has come back into fashion, in particular with many YA and fantasy retellings, and the Hades and Persephone tale is one people adore, it’s the allure of a gloomy, scary king that turns out to be a softie. Before reading Lore Olympus, I had watched a show on Greek mythology, and was reading an old book I was given like a decade ago, retelling the myths for children, so I’m aware how the original myth goes in general; Hades kidnaps a young Persephone and takes her to the underworld, later she is rescued but she feels sympathy for Hades and agrees to spend half the year in the underworld and half the year above ground (she agrees but she is also forced to agree because she ate 6 pomegranate seeds and once you consume food from the underworld you must remain there. This myth explains why we have the seasons, in Autumn and Winter Persephone, the goddess of Spring is in the underworld.

When I heard about Lore Olympus it was on a YouTube video about society’s normalisation of older men with much, much longer women, and the reasons why such unbalanced, often abusive or controlling relationships are favoured by men and how the age gap portrayal in media excuses them. So not a great endorsement of Lore Olympus. I avoided getting it for a long time but still there was the allure, the promise of passion and melodrama, of gorgeous art and Greek mythology, in a seductive mix of modern and classical imagery. I picked it up in the bookshop several times, and put it back down again -the art looked promising but the layout of the book was awful. Now I’m a graphic designer so I care about these things, the comic was born as a webcomic and looking at volume 1 you could tell it wasn’t designed with a book layout in mind, the art was sparsely tossed across the pages. It was not good. So months went by and I resisted buying it. But in the end my desire for some romance with high emotion and angst won, and boy does it deliver. Within a week I’d consumed all published volumes, buying one at a time and devouring it and buying the next the following day. Happily the graphic design does get better from volume 2.

So here’s the good and the bad. The Age Difference, on one level this does not bother me because these are gods, in that old book I was reading about Greek myths I learnt that when the god Hermes was just a new born baby he escaped his cradle, stole Apollo’s cattle, sacrificed them to the gods, did some other stuff and then lied to Apollo when he came round accusing Hermes. The concept of age and knowledge and ability are not as we know them. The Greek myths were also OBSESSED with youth and beauty, so with the source material being already so problematic it isn’t a surprise that it bleeds through. However did the author NEED to make Persephone literally 19? She couldn’t just be a young women? The author went out of her way to specify that Persephone is 19, something that is so problematic that various characters and Hades himself acknowledges as being bad, he asks do you mean she’s 1919 years old? (Already a lot young than him if she were 1919 years old, him being thousands of years old) No?! Actually 19!?! I understand that the age difference is part of Lore Olympus’ appeal, the forbidden nature of it, but could her age have been left a little vague, perhaps even aged up a little? Because at the end of the day if we associate Persephone’s personality too much with her age… what happens to her and their relationship with Hades when she becomes older? Also the mention that her body will forever be that of a teenager is distasteful and sends the message that bodies older than teens are not desirable. I suppose since she is the goddess of Spring, to be forever youthful makes sense. 

On the good side, this series handles well difficult topics, it has examples of toxic relationships (not Persephone and Hades but Hades and a former lover) but shows why a person might fall into toxic behaviours, it also depicts well a case of rape and the victim blaming that follows, highlighting narcissistic personalities, and overbearing parents. The reason people love Hades and Persephone’s relationship in Lore Olympus is because they bring each other hope and joy in a world of both physical and emotional pain. 

Back to the bad, Persephone’s character is a bit of a problem, she’s the born sexy yesterday troupe, so young and naive but super overly sexualised, academically clever but clueless to the ways of the world. Of strong will… but easily led astray? Shown to struggle with prejudice but also given a lot of special treatment and privilege. That last point doesn’t bother me so much because at the end of the day the Greek gods were AWFUL people, they were forever throwing tantrums, meddling in the lives of humans, and causing havoc on a whim. The gods were the ultimate abusers of power and unpredictable moods. In that sense Lore Olympus is a good representation of the Greek gods, those guys were MESSY.

P.S Apologies that my photos have been so bad of late, my laptop died and my phone camera is really bad!

Review by Book Hamster

#just finished reading #lore olympus #rachel smythe #hades and persephone #hades and kore #greek mythology #greek gods #graphic novels #book hamster #book blog #reading blog

[tantive404]

Dear Author- Star Wars Rarepairs 2023

Hello wonderful author! Thank you so much for writing for me! This is my first year doing the Star Wars Rarepairs Exchange and I'm so excited to see what you have in store… I just know it will be lovely!! <3

DNWs: -Explicit sexual content. I'm okay with some things of that nature being tastefully implied, but I don't want descriptions of genitalia or sex acts. -Sequel trilogy content -Modern AU -Major Character Death between the characters involved in the ship (they can certainly threaten to kill each other though XD)

Likes: -enemies to lovers tropes, villain x heroine ships -forced or arranged marriage -Leia whump or angst-- I love seeing that girl vulnerable and in perilous predicaments, but still maintaining her strength of will and fighting back. -political intrigue (lends itself particularly well to tarkin x leia) and drama -power dynamics -captivity -banter

Ships:

Leia Organa/Wilhuff Tarkin I am OBSESSED with these two… Ever since I noticed the way he grabs her face during their scene together in A New Hope, something just clicked within my brain. I love their absolute hatred for one another, how they are each so devoted to their opposing causes, and how his desire to subdue her and defeat the Rebellion could manifest into a twisted obsession and desire… They have a great tension and chemistry, and some fun silly space banter. Feel free to lean into the darkness and creepiness.

Prompts: -Something exploring their dynamic pre-ANH, where Leia is working as a rebel spy and Tarkin is suspicious and attempting to catch her in the act of treason. A game of cat and mouse ensues. -Leia and Tarkin strike some form of deal in the hopes of each benefitting their side of the war. How might this develop their relationship? I'd love to see Tarkin manipulating Leia, and Leia's efforts to sabotage him. -Bad end to ANH… Tarkin lives, or the Rebellion loses, and Leia must deal with her grief and desire for revenge… meanwhile the Grand Moff decides he wants something more for the Princess than execution -Missing scene from her captivity and interrogation on the Death Star. Who knows what could have occurred between them behind closed doors?

Leia Organa/Darth Vader These two have the chance for layers and layers of DRAMA and irony. I love the possibility for a sweet twisted "knight and princess" motif, as well as Vader being SUPER protective and possessive of Leia, with her bringing out his more "honorable", "good" side… and Leia reminding him both of Padme and of his former self. I love Leia being a complete sass machine to Vader and being one of the very few people who is able to stand up to the Dark Lord… Perhaps he finds a strange sort of respect for her through that. Also, they're really just a very aesthetically pleasing couple. The size/height difference and the black armor against the white gown. They're truly a villain and a heroine who are meant to be pitted against each other.

Prompts: -Through some strange set of circumstances, Vader and Leia must put up a temporary truce and are forced to work together begrudgingly -Vader protects Leia from a more dangerous foe, and she comes to gain a strange sense of respect for him. -Vader is haunted by his memories of Padme and uses Leia as a fill-in for her of sorts…

Leia Organa/Wilhuff Tarkin/Darth Vader Something of a twisted love triangle where Vader and Tarkin are fighting for control of the Princess, and she is caught in the middle of them.

Leia Organa/Lord Tion Tion is a character who appears in the second episode of the Star Wars Radio Drama-- an arrogant, pompous Imperial officer and devotee of Tarkin who becomes Leia's suitor. Despite her disdain, she briefly permits his courtship to learn more about the Death Star… and everything goes disastrously wrong after he proposes marriage. As an enthusiast for Leia villain ships, I was in love with the MELODRAMA potential caused by this character.

Prompt: -What if the proposal/courtship was allowed to go further, and things turned out differently for them? It would be interesting to see Leia enter into a relationship with an Imperial in order to obtain rebel info…

Rogue One: Jyn Erso/Orson Krennic I enjoy the potential that the clash of these two strong personalities might bring, and the connection which they hold to one another's past. Where Leia and Tarkin will have a heavy amount of verbal sparring, I imagine Jyn and Krennic would have some physical sparring, too. It's also interesting to delve into his relation to her father.

Prompts: -AU where Galen's family returns with him during the construction of the Death Star, and Jyn grows up in high Imperial society, rebelling against the expectations placed upon her, and eventually catching Krennic's eye. -Alternatively, the Erso parents are made to offer Jyn as a bride to Krennic in order to ensure their safety… She's not happy about it, but wants to protect her family. -Something where they survive Scarif and have a chance to build a relationship from there… complex and hate-filled, of course.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Songs of the Summer, 2023: Intro & Rules

check out #my fave songs for my (admittedly inconsistent) past best-of lists! consistency is NOT my strength, but i have so much fun writing these & i want to practice finishing what i start, so i hope you'll have fun along with me :)

Intro: A Summer-y (haha)

My listening this summer has been embarrassingly chill. It’s not that I normally dislike really soft tracks—I’m a BOL4 fan, after all—but I definitely wasn’t expecting this many of them on my favorites list, and certainly not in the top spots. I like melodrama; I like shimmery, glitzy things; I like to dance. But this list’s color palette is beige, like a day where the sun is so bright, the heat so heavy, that it just kind of washes everything out. Even most of the dance tracks here are pretty toned-down—the kind you can leave on repeat while studying. 

So, I don’t know, it just feels kind of weird. It’s not that there weren’t any big, exciting statement-songs this summer: Stray Kids and Ateez and Itzy had big, noisy releases, and I just… I don’t know, I couldn’t make myself care about them? My favorite song from the Itzy album isn’t even the cool, fast-paced rock track, which is what I usually like from them—it’s the muted, simple, repetitive “None of My Business”.  And Dreamcatcher’s album, which I think is absolutely stellar, didn’t consume my listening nearly as much as it should have this summer. Instead, I found myself drawn to sleepy indie and end-of-album ballads. Do you see why it’s kind of embarrassing?

And I don’t think it’s that I didn’t have any fun this summer. This summer was actually pretty great, especially considering my how past few summers went. Comparatively, oh my GOD this summer was absolute heaven. Hell, maybe that’s why this list is less angsty. Maybe I’m sick of the angst, and I just wanted a nice, sleepy summer to balance out the others.

Or maybe it’s NewJeans fever. I still can’t stand “Attention” (I'm SORRY), but their laid-back style did finally get to me with “Ditto”, and so my obsession with barely-there, TikTok-ready music this summer might just be a reflection of the NewJeans trend hitting me a bit late. And anyway, strange as my list turned out, I like the songs I chose a whole lot, so I do stand by it!

There was another defining trend of this summer’s music for me: Barbie movie anthems. And not just songs from the Barbie soundtrack—the movie’s super-popular, super-iconic advertising seemed to kick off a trend of unapologetically mean-girl music, arrogantly teenage in a way that I find quite fun (& good for my confidence, too, as an obnoxious, girly teenage being-thing). I loved these releases, from Aespa’s “Spicy” in the spring, to G-IDLE’s “Queencard”, to Kiss of Life’s “Shhh” (though none of these are on the list, the mean-girl vibes will definitely show up). I’ve always loved when Flo Milli took on this kind of aesthetic, so it’s really fun to see 2023 become the year of hot pink, both inside and outside of kpop. Still haven’t seen the movie, but thanks, Barbie! 

Rules

Songs on this list are from singles or albums released between May 12, my last day of spring semester, and August 21, my first day of fall semester. I hope to work in education for the rest of my life, so I figure it makes sense to let the school year determine my list! Though, because it takes so long for songs to grow on me, I’m willing to fudge the rules a bit to encompass some songs that, despite being released a bit before ‘summer’ started, were truly my Songs of the Summer anyway. 

In keeping with my tradition, I’m allowing myself 14 list entries this year (plus some honorable mentions), one for every year of school I’ve completed since kindergarten! 

Blame it on the creative writing class I’m taking this semester, but I decided to, alongside my usual description of why each entry made my list, write a little poem-thing trying to capture what each song feels like to me—not similarity in subject, but instead in atmosphere and sound, was what I was going for. So hopefully you’ll enjoy those as much as I enjoyed writing them, and hopefully they’ll be a good intro to the songs you haven’t heard of before! 

#ITS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #my fave songs #songs of the summer 2023 #music review #kpop review

[mousieta]

Review: The Novelist Series

The Novelist (2018) Mood Indigo (2019) Pornographer: Spring Life (2021) Pornographer: Playbook (2021) Pornographer: Continued Spring Life (2021) Country: Japan Platform: Various I truly think this series broke something in me, in the good way. I’ve had post-show depression since binging the whole thing and since I did binge it all in one go, I’m going to review the entire series as one. 

There are two orders to watch this show in, by air date or by in-story chronology. To do that latter, you’d start with Mood Indigo then watch the rest in air-date order. While story wise it may make sense to do so, I would argue that it is better to watch them in air-date order, even though that takes you back and then forward in in-story time. I watched Mood Indigo first, but I actually think the series is better watched in order of air-date.

The Novelist (Pornographer) is an erotic melodrama that tells the story of Kijima Rio, a published author of erotic fiction who gets his arm broken when college student  Kuzumi Haruhiko crashes into him with his bike. As Kuzumi cannot financially compensate Kijima and has apparently taken out his means of making a living, he agrees to transcribe for Kijima.

Mood Indigo is a flash-back/prequel to The Novelist exploring Kijima’s path to becoming a ‘pornographer’ and his relationship with Shiro, his editor. The subsequent series then pick up after The Novelist and see the conclusion of all three men’s stories.

The show is intensely erotic, the character’s often viewed through the lens of their sexuality. What the show does incredibly well is showing sex as multi-fasceted and capable of carrying so much more than lust. Sex is as complex and complicated as any other human endeavor, engaged in for a multitude of reasons and imbued with layers of motivations, manipulations and desires. This is, honestly, a thing in dramas that I didn’t even know I was missing so deeply.

Sometimes the de-sexualization of characters in dramas starts to grate a little. There is nothing wrong with romance and exploring it but the coyness and aversion to explicitly showing that our leads sometimes just want to rail the fuck out of one another, or are using sex as a subterfuge, or are confused but over-wrought by desire, feels like a part of the human experience is being missed. Thus, I appreciate Thai drama’s depictions of sex but don’t want it to just be the horny kind, or the romantic kind, because humans are more than just horny and romantic. And this show gives us that with some truly wrenching angst.

The series is truly good on every level, the acting gripping and compelling. Takezai Terunosuke as Rio traces such a believable character arc through his whole chronology. The writing is moving in its compassion for its characters and subject matters, allowing things to be messy and not completely resolved. I have more meta I want to write about it specifically, in particular about the character dynamics between Rio and Shiro because there is so much meat to chew on there, which I love.

I’m glad I finally got around to watching this, am sad I binged it too fast and it is now over and which one of my frens would watch it soon so I could obsess over it.

2022 Drama Reviews Masterlist

#2022 drama reviews #the novelist #mood indigo

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

here's some grishaverse ships!!!! darklina nikolina zoyalina genyalina zoyanikolina zoyalarkling nikolarkling? darkling-nikolai-alina? i'm out of names jesper and kaz jesper and wylan just bc they're normal

Darklina

Already did this one!

To give some more opinions, I like it most when he’s either at his cruelest or most pathetic. The best scene was when he threatens to skin her 🤷‍♀️

I love the pettiness of them having a telepathic bond and using it for fucking psychological warfare. Or well the Darkling does. Alina takes way too long to catch on and needle him as much. I wish she’d gotten the chance to fuck him up more. But anyway I generally find it so funny how much of the dynamic relies on her just being… fairly normal and then he’s Like That.

I love Alina as the constantly weirded out, narrative and comedic straight main to his supervillain melodrama.

Nikolina

This has been my TGT OTP for awhile, me and like five other people lmao. I like it most in AU and canon divergent scenarios tbh, partially because their dynamic is really chill and I love conflict and angst. I like it when there’s some aspect of pining, unrequited feelings, or just the shadow of other issues looming over the relationship. Like I love this ship in situations where they’re PerseveringTM together despite The Horrors, basically?

And I mean I’ve already talked a few times about how I really like their polar opposite priorities and ambitions. They contrast each other fairly strongly while still getting along very well. And that’s something I usually find very compelling. I like this ship most for AUs where they like self actualize/compromise/learn to cope with shared trauma etc. I want them to work through shit and learn to be happy!

Zoyalina

Rivals to lovers is soooo fun! Alina can’t go two minutes without mentioning how hot Zoya is. And I think LB genuinely meant it more for reader info/to get into Alina’s insecurity but it reads SO gay.

There’s like two main dynamics I really like for them. Okay three. But one is like a riff on early SAB era, where they bond while still both under the Darkling’s thumb, despite being pitted against each other. The other is like leaning into a devotion, saint and warrior/bodyguard/devotee type thing. Third is post R&R Alina retreating to her orphanage and it being explicit in the epilogue that Zoya visits and writes and even gives her a kefta because she’ll always be Grisha. And idk I’m just obsessed with Zoya, who’s so unused to that sort of kindness, being gentle or drawing her out of her shell in her own gruff way.

Genyalina

I love them!!! But also the plot just doesn’t give me much to work with past SaB. That inherent conflict of Genya lying to her and never sending Alina’s letters, while genuinely connecting with her is SO good. I love it, and that’s my favorite dynamic for them. And I also love the explicit comparison drawn between Genya’s own trauma and being exploited by the king, and Alina being groomed by the Darkling even if Alina’s not herself fully like cognizant of it. (Kind of similar to the SaB era Zoyalina dynamic, girls connecting over being manipulated and controlled by men/the same man even is a dynamic that I find very compelling) But past that point in the series I don’t have as much like… thoughts about them? I still love them and love when they interact but it doesn’t intrigue me in the same way.

Zoyanikolina

Okay okay maybe this is the real OTP… OT3… series ship of all time. KoS (more the idea of it than the execution) did convert me to Zoyalai to an extent, the pining is soooo good. And I already love Zoyalina and Nikolina separately so obvs the best way to go here is to smoosh them all together lmao.

My fave take is facilitated through a Nikolina political marriage that’s kind of complicated for everyone involved. And meanwhile Alina seeing all the insane pining going down and being like. Well. Are you going to do something about this or???

I may be writing this lmao so I’m generally thinking about it a lot. But Alina being the most emotionally intelligent one while simultaneously very NOT self aware about her own feelings is just very funny to me.

Zoyalarkling

So having confirmed that this is Zoya/Alina/Darkling hm! Hm! Not sure I can see this one except in very very particular circumstances. I feel like the Zoyalina dynamic when they’re both still into the Darkling is defined by rivalry and being in competition with each other. So I don’t think they’d be… happy about a poly scenario. But also the Darkling’s probably TERRIBLE enough to be like Ah yes here is my teenaged harem. So I could see a very fucked up version. Meanwhile I just don’t get the sense that Zoya harbors like any attraction whatsoever for him the way Alina does after Everything Goes Down. I could see some kind of insane hate fucking scenario, but like only very particularly?

I can’t help but make Hannibal comparisons when I think of KoS type scenarios/anything where they keep the Darkling jailed. But I could see Zoya as his jailor being very interesting (Chilton or Alana Bloom esque) And we canonically have him like demanding to see Alina, though again canon didn’t do nearly enough with it. So could I see a weird psychosexual SOTL/NBC Hannibal arc for these three? Mayhaps.

Darknikolina

Love them! I’m generally a fan of Darklolai and I think there’s a lot of very interesting unexplored territory in terms of what the dynamic between Nikolai and the Darkling even is. LB, even in KoS, tends to skirt around how they perceive each other fairly carefully? I think probably because she knows how much it’d expose the painfully thin politics and court set up lmao. But I think there’s room for very personal loathing —> fascination.

Anyway I am really interested in circumstances where like Nikolina get married For Politics and then the Darkling’s just in jail 5ever and things get weird. Or alternatively (I basically wrote this already) but a bad ending scenario where the Darkling wins and they’re both basically his captives.

I think there’s also a lot of mileage to be gotten out of the Darkling basically lying dormant inside Nikolai lmao/at least some of his power remaining there. And there are interesting body sharing weirdness places you could go with that. And complicate it even further by bringing Alina into the mix.

Kazper

This was probably my favorite SoC ship dynamic lmaoooo which I mean I knew was never going anywhere! But then gets further tanked by the clear comparison between Jesper and Jordie. I just really liked that initial pining set up where Jesper was desperate to prove himself to Kaz, to just get him to at all give him the time of day. And Kaz is just… frankly kind of cruel to him! Idk the conflict was really interesting. I would’ve loved to see the dynamic explored

Wesper

Eh. I didn’t really like them in the books tbh? I think they had some effective scenes in CK particularly but also like it wasn’t effective in a shippy sense to me necessarily. I did actually like them in the show a lot! So that’s made me more partial to it. But it’s still just not something I’d bother to think about outside of actually watching the show/reading the books.

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #I’m not tagging all the ships lol #ship bingo #ask games #all the bendy punctuations #i ramble sometimes

[plantdad-dante]

Book #84 - Lord Of Shadows by Cassandra Clare

(first time read; ffs I have been reading this fucking book for three solid months now, I swear, The Dark Artifices stretches like chewing gum... It's like pulling teeth with me and this trilogy.) Fine. I guess at first I need to admit that yes, the ending did hit. It did make me sad to a frankly unfair amount. Yes. Fine. You won, like, one round out of a hundred, book. Congratulations. Unfortunately, 10 pages out of 700 are only 1.4 % of the book and the rest of this post will be about the other 98.6%. Cool? Cool. So. With that out of the way.... I think I figured out why Emma and Julian bother me so much. They have this really fun, trust- and banter-driven friendship. And they could have been so chill. And then, over the course of these horridly long books, they could have such a fun mutual best-friend slow-burn. And due to the parabatai bond and the curse and all, this could have been a really cool examination of how platonic and romantic love aren't a binary and how the line can actually be rather blurry sometimes and how relationships are dependent on the definitions of the people involved and how it's actually rather hard not to cross a line you can't even see anymore. And it would have been actually a really fresh take to have a straight couple be in a relationship like that - yk, one that would actually challenge the rigid mold of Straight People Rules. But no, their storyline has to be this angst-ridden melodrama. If it weren't for the setting and it's narrow-minded, binary take on relationships, this could have been such a cool subplot. Or maybe I'm just too far on the aroace spectrum to understand any of this properly. My actual point is - E and J don't fit into their own romantic subplot and their obsessive angst with each other is annoying whenever it doesn't actively make me want to put Julian into a mental institution. There are characters you can do these sorts of high-angst, high-stakes forbidden romance with. Emma and Julian ain't it. And I should like Julian, technically. Ruthless devotion is my jam. My top-shelf jam that I get out for only the freshest and tastiest of breads. I should love him. Instead this is another point on my "him and Emma have the wrong chemistry for their story" list of arguments. And not only does it make me not like Julian, I actually just want the boy to disappear for a bit and go through some very intensive therapy while the rest of the plot happens without him. Meanwhile Mark, Christina and Kieran's story is chock-full of tropes I hate (the lying thing, the amnesia thing, the weird pivot from jealous to actually-not-jealous, the fact I am still waiting for some Kieran pov in all this), but somehow they work despite that. It's the exact opposite of Emma and Julian. While with them, the tropes technically work but the characters don't, here the characters and their relationship(s) work on me, but the tropes don't. Last points, as this is getting long: Ty remains fave and absolutely no one can fight me on that, but- HOW HAS NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT DIANA BEFORE (like, I really didn't need to know her deadname, honey, but at least someone could have told me that there is a canon trans character in my guilty pleasure book series, omg) That's all. Bye.

#lord of shadows #the dark artifices #cassandra clare #see y'all in a year when I finally work up the nerve to chew my way through book 3

[sqbr]

Dreamwidth update: A Tale of Two Webtoons

I was having a high pain, low brain day so decided to just scroll through the top rated romance webcomics on a random scanlation site. I ended up half-reading two Korean m/f comics, giving up on one because it didn't inspire enough feelings, and on the other because it inspired too many. But they filled in the time until I felt better! Thirsty Thirty: A career-focussed woman on the verge of hitting thirty feels listless and depressed after her boyfriend cheats on her. But then it turns out her quiet, competent manager has recognised how hard working and talented she is and they grow closer. I don't mind boss/employee romance if it wallows in the Forbidden-ness but this was just kinda bland wish fulfilment, and while it hit some standard romance beats and they weren't totally shallow or unlikeable I didn't care about either of them enough to get much of a kick out of them getting together, or care enough to see what obstacles the story would throw in their way to keep reading past that point. The story did seem to support her right to care about her career, but also uncritically supported overwork, and while I believed she was excited about creating pretty lighting setups for people, I was not. The Blood of Madam Giselle: A Victorian noblewoman decides to spite her abusive husband by exploring the Forbidden Basement, where she encounters and bonds with a weird sad pretty vampire boy locked half-naked and starving in a cage. Definitely not bland wish-fulfilment and I absolutely cared about the main couple enough to keep going past the point where they got together, but the story is the kind of porny romantic melodrama that wallows in Angst and Sex and Shock where there's a good chance they not only won't end up happily but might be the cause of each other's downfall due to mutual violent obsession etc. Plus it hit some other buttons for me and I eventually listened to my brain's STOP READING messages. Not until I'd encountered an unexpected but definitely not unwelcome sexy f/f topless blood drinking scene involving two side characters, if I could just read about whatever is going on with those two I'd have kept going a while longer. More thoughts and content notes under the cut, I kinda feel like I need a vague content note for the content notes. Note: There's sure some CONTENT. ( Read more... )

#dreamwidth crosspost

[chickenbrothkitchen]

bang dream! its mygo!!!!!

finished 25/09/2023 combined rating:7.75/10

🍲: i really liked mygo! i dragged chay into watching this one because i wanted to know which characters he’d like… i had accurate predictions ^_^ it is teenage girl drama filled with melodrama, so it clicked my brain easily. the character writing is pleasing and so are the songs! it can be dramatic and unrealistic at times, like many of the managing of their band, but personally i don’t mind it. i like how emotional it is, and am looking forward to the sequel anime very much… filled with yuri so auto brain stimulation for me (albeit only hints.. i dont rly care tho! i enjoy yuri anyways!) … the yuri is rich with complex dynamics! i would find it hard to simplify any of them… characters circle one another a lot, some are filled with strong obsession. its thrilling for me to see characters be so emotional and focused on each other, its like every character has a thought or two about each other… like their interactions mean something. and the banter is natural and warm! i really admire the character writing done here! overall i give it an 8/10

🍗: i think mygo exceeded my expectations quite a bit… i enjoyed it and found it interesting but the way their parents were drawn was kind of funny to me ghahhaa (proportions and being in 2d as opposed to the rest being in 3d? not a bone to pick just something funny) as someone who did play bandori for a bit but wasn’t captivated by any group this was nice, it is very melodramatic and emotional and a little bit unrealistic but there’s really no need for that much realism in situations like this anyway imo :p i think the writing of the characters was nicely done and no filter was put through them - i enjoyed how in the end they didn’t have a big smooth resolution rather it was rough and they all cried on stage because of the intense feelings that were still there. i liked that it was honest in the sense that they were not all close friends with millions of memories but rather all collectively working toward this passion, making seemingly pointless promises like ‘’we’ll be in this band forever’’...i think it captured the hopelessness of their characters nicely. at the end of the day this is bandori! and you can only do so much with the story of your game - i think the banter between the characters is well done and the story keeps you hooked as its teenage angst drama about a band. i definitely will like ave mujica (esp as an avid vkei listener) and i hope to see the psychological elements play out in the sequel. id give mygo anime a 7.5/10

#🥘 #🍲 #🍗 #review #anime

[xjoonchildx]

hello hello. long time fan of your works. obsessed with your seamless blend of angst, humor, and tension. normally I’d spend a little more time fleshing out compliments and my love for your writing but this last update has simply made my day and I can’t wait to tell you how much I loved it. Your fics are a gift 💜 cannot wait to see how this tale ends. -🦢

SWAN ANON! (swanon?)

you are so wonderful, thank you so much! i really have no idea why my two go-tos are either snarky hate sex fics or incredibly angsty melodramas, but here we are?

either way, i'm so glad you're with me. i hope you're having a wonderful day 💕

#anagrams 💕 #fic: kanalia

[kongthapatom]

12 Reasons Why Bad Buddy Broke The World With 12 Episodes

(Updated) I made a list of my favorite things that this drama gifted us to remember and cherish forever. In no particular order:

1. It's a Romantic Comedy (With a Twist!)

Romcom is a genre you cannot go wrong with and the world of queer media needs more of. Bad Buddy is filled with smiles and laughter and just the right amount of melodrama that doesn't let it turn too depressing anywhere (in retrospect even episode 11 was brilliantly written and served the purpose). It has become the comfort show that lifted our spirits for 12 weeks and will continue to have a high rewatch value. That’s what any good show must be like, easy on the heart to return to. By injecting the story with the star-crossed trope in the background, they have achieved a flawless balance between fluff and angst. It is a relatable love story that you smile, yearn and weep for, a true masterpiece whichever angle you see it from. 

2. OhmNanon's Acting

Ngl I did not see this coming even after the trailer. With every episode that came out, I was shocked by their natural chemistry that climbed to the stratosphere of romance and how they felt more like a real couple than any couple we've ever seen in a queer drama. Whichever show nails the casual touches and kisses has already won the lottery and OhmNanon served us the entire range. From childhood friends to rivals to lovers who gave us the bickering dynamics of an eternally married couple, the effortlessness with which two people who have known each other their entire lives fall in love, the passionate lovers who grow up to take a stand and everything in between. This casting was godsent. 

3. PatPran's Partnership

In my opinion, this is Bad Buddy's greatest strength for why it is the best BL drama we’ve ever seen and closest to true love we’ve ever gotten in a modern day queer love story. We rarely see a couple like PatPran who are partners in everything and fight the world together all while being entirely wholesome, utterly positive and totally unproblematic. At the heart of it, Bad Buddy is about two people being in love and the extents they will go for their love to survive. We see both of them being there for each other, communicating with each other, taking care of each other, sweeping each other off their feet & fighting for each other- that's love! Love is partnership and no one is more than the other. Love thrives in equality. Majority of shows fail to understand that and only focus on one character's love for the other. But Pat and Pran are two sides of the same coin and we are so lucky to witness such a well-written story come to life.

4. PatPran are a Power Couple

No story understood the assignment like Bad Buddy did that we like to see stories where both the protagonists are on an equal standing in every sense; where they are equally badass, equally obsessed with each other, equally devoted in love and supportive of each other. They're also leaders of their respective faculties, super smart, music lovers, rugby players and rivals in life and love. They radiate the magnetism of two yin yang personalities and soulmates inevitably attracting. The story itself was structured in a way where them being equal was pivotal to the romance and the whole competition is an exciting ploy on the surface because there are only winners in love. (This equal dynamics in characterization is something I've only seen so far in Chinese BL dramas like SHL/CQL so I am absolutely giddy to see it in a modern day setup!) These 2 reasons are why they are being hailed as the healthiest couple in BL history.

5. It Successfully Captured The Queer Experience

This show really nails the fact that queer people have entirely unique experiences in love and there is zero need to base it on/reference straight romance in the process of telling that story. BL so far hasn't been able to ditch outdated tropes that were carried over from het romance. You simply cannot change the female lead's role to a male one and call it a brand new gay/sapphic love story when it still feels like the characters are operating on het dynamics of the pursuer and the pursued.

Bad Buddy hammers in that there are no fixed husband/wife roles or top/bottom dynamics in a queer relationship (there shouldn't be in a straight relationship either but that's not my fight lol) and that you can't apply straight models of storytelling to a queer romance without rendering it inauthentic in some way. We have different experiences in navigating love which needs to be explored more. (Just ask Pa who thought Ink didn't like her back after listening to her straight friends complaining about their het love lives.)

6. InkPa

This is self-explanatory but I was so impressed that a BL drama had passed the Bechdel test when I saw 2 female characters interacting at first. I didn't in my wildest imagination think they will become the secondary couple in the show and the first ever side couple in a BL drama whose scenes I didn't want to skip over! Ink & Pa's love story has been a magnificent leap for sapphic representation especially for what it did within the limited screen time. All because Aof knew he wanted to kill the cliche of female characters only existing to cause problems in a BL story. You see, they have much more important things to do like falling in love with another girl!! Mad respect.

7. Queerness as a Spectrum

To me, this is where this show broke out of the genre of BL and ascended to something more universal, when I realized it was using every resource possible to tell a queer love story where their queerness is completely incidental to the fact that they love a certain person. I lost my mind when 4 characters, who all happen to be queer, sat down together to casually discuss how sexuality can be fluid over dinner. It is a ground-breaking scene that defies all expectations you might have had about their romantic labels. It celebrates love unconditionally, as we always should.

8. Domestic Boyfriends

The chokehold PatPran have had over us all this while is partly due to the fact that they are so endearingly in love with each other and we got to see so many moments of their sweet domesticity, that for some reason, Bad Buddy's predecessors have not given enough screen time to. Because sometimes you just want to watch a dumb love story about two boyfriends basically being partners in life, going on dates, grocery shopping together, cooking food for each other, consoling each other after a bad day without being slapped in the face by homophobic reality. And Bad Buddy is exactly that type of show.

9. Grand Gestures of Love

What Bad Buddy has done and done right is it has used the the template of fake enemies to lovers to tell a love story that shows you the extraordinary through the vehicle of ordinary. It stays true to romcom genre with abundant swoonworthy moments, like Pat showing up to save the day in episode 7 and uttering beautifully cheesy lines like the real life romantic hero that he is, or confessing his love to Pran in front of the entire faculty who hold witness to their mock engagement. Or more subdued moments that are still stunningly soaked in romance like the classic balcony phone call, the idyllic honeymoon getaway and Pran serenading Pat with the most romantic song about their life in episode 11. These are all epic moments that celebrate love and have been achingly missing from queer romance.

10. Absence of Homophobia

One of my favorite things about this show, is the fact that it takes place in a universe where homophobia, and thereby the queerness of the characters is not the ultimate conflict they have to overcome. Fleshing out the the family feud and emotional trauma while also spinning it as a metaphor for homophobia was very well done. We still get inherently queer dialogues like, "What can we do? We were just born this way," and "We just like each other, does anyone have a problem?" without the usually triggering drama. The fake family reunion montage in episode 11 made all of us sob because we know, "What if our families weren't enemies?" is a direct echo of "What if our families weren't homophobic?" Congrats to PatPran on fooling everyone from their parents to the audience and proclaiming that their love is a force that bows to nothing in this world. It proves queer stories can come across as being rooted in serious reality while still prioritizing the romance above everything.

11. P'Aof and BBS team

This goes without saying but as the audience, I could really feel the love, sincerity and commitment with which a queer person helmed the BBS team to create such a pathbreaking love story that made the future of BL genre look brighter, healthier and happier with just 12 episodes. They knew what they were doing from the very beginning when they sought to create a love story that shatters stereotypes and simply gives the gays everything we want. It is evident he has listened to our feedback from the previous projects and wanted to do better for all of BL. (I distinctly remember the fandom begging him to make EarnPear canon when we found out he's directing Still 2gether and look where we are with InkPa now!) Thank you indeed, legend. This proves we need more queer people behind queer storytelling to change the game. 

12. A Complete Series with Complete Subversion

To make note of all the ways in which Bad Buddy has challenged the expectations of queer and casual watchers alike deserves its own post. The show has risen beyond the confines of BL to essentially set everything right that was fundamentally wrong in queer storytelling so far. To name a few, this includes everything from watering down the enemies to lovers trope to support the romance better, highlighting the ambiguous fluidity of PatPran's relationship, the best kiss we've ever seen happening already in episode 5 instead of the finale, to doing away with the episode 11 curse, subverting the hiding your relationship trope to an emboldened choice you make and ending the series with PatPran's astronomical chemistry that is the first of its kind to walk the gay romcom genre anywhere in this world. You can rewatch the show and still find something new in these 12 beautiful episodes that contradicts contemporary queer storylines for good reason.

It is truly a complete series like they told us it'll be because how often do you get to see a romance bloom from childhood to young adolescence to adulthood without inventing more troubles for a new season? When every episode is considered chronologically, you can see the careful planning and pacing that went into documenting every stage of their evolving relationship. When viewed it its entirety, Bad Buddy becomes an astounding history-making love story that sends the message love will always find a way.

So where does that leave us? All of it is of course owing to the fact that this show had its queer audience in mind every step of the way. It came into existence to remind us happy endings do exist for queer people and we can become the protagonists we want to be.

Thank you PatPran for changing our world with your love story. I don't ever want to forget how inspired and invincible you made me feel and I'm so relieved this show now belongs to us to rewatch, smile, cry over and hold on to for dear life.

I hope we all remember it for what it was, a reminder that sure, maybe the queer life will always be a fight against many aspects of the world but we can still rewrite our stars and it need not always be a nightmare. Because surely, if PatPran can find a way to create their happy ending against all odds, you can do it too!

May we watch and scream about this gay masterpiece for the rest of our lives! 

#bad buddy #patpran #bad buddy the series #bad buddy ep 12 #backaof noppharnach #bad buddy series #ohmnanon #ohm nanon #ohmnon #bad buddy meta #patpran meta #pat pran #asian lgbtq dramas #queer representation #bad buddy episode 12 #bad buddy finale #p'aof #inkpa #ohm pawat #nanon korapat #jan's 2 cents

[ggukkieland]

📕BTS Fic Reads - 2021 January Pt 1

A lot of new fics and old favorites I was in the mood to read again 🥰

Fics are not mine. Credits go to all the writers. Please show them love 💖 by reblogging or commenting on their work 🥰.

Note: if link doesn’t work, click on author and go to their masterlist

🥕Ongoing - most recent chapter [as of date this list was posted] 🥕Completed - completed one shots | series 🌹 S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst 🌷 posted a reaction/commentary on completed fics

🥕[Ongoing Series]

Belong @v-hope​​ - KTH | smau | Enemies to Lovers, Roommate AU, artist!Taehyung x heiress!reader | A, F, humor ~ [updates Wed & Sat]

Calculated @whatifyoulivelikethat​​ - JJK | 18.4k | Noona AU, basically responsible TA learns how to get wild courtesy of Dom!JK 😁| S, F 

01 02 03

Ego Killer @zibermuda​​ - JJK | 21.4k  | Fuckboy AU, Enemies to Lovers, FWB AU, College AU | S, A, F ~ [2/3]

01 02 

Just One @jungxk​​ - JJK | 60.6k | Fuckboy AU, College AU | S, F, A ~ [8/10] 

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08  

Mars @to-star-lake​​ - KTH | 18.6k | Ahistorical AU, Military AU, kind of Enemies to Lovers | A, S, F ~ [4/?]

01 02 03 04

Netflix & Chill Series @1kook​​ - JJK | 106.1k, so far | Blind Date AU,  Established Relationship | S, F, A ~ [9/?] + [9 drabbles]

Fragrances @jj-ktae​​​ - JJK | 10k, so far | Perfumery AU, Music Composer AU | A, F ~ [2/?]

Plot Twist @kimnjss​​ - KNJ | smau | Idol AU, Rapper AU, Rich Girl AU, Enemies to Lovers | A, S, F ~ [updates daily]

Pretty Boy Drabble Series @angelguk​​ - JJK | aka jock!jk, Bestfriend AU, Established Relationship AU | S, F, A ~ [7 drabbles, so far]

Sh @wwilloww​​ - OT7 | 25k | Wilderness AU, Friends to Lovers, Poly AU |  S, A [4/?] 

01 02 03 04

🥕[Completed Fics/Series]

Namjoon 

By The Moonlight  @hobeemin​​ - drabble | 1k | Fantasy, Humor, Sailor Moon AU, Anime AU | 🌷  (so funny 😂)

Reverie @minstrophywife​​ - one shot | 5.2k | Sci-Fi AU, Lucid Dreams AU | A, F, S  🌷

Underground King  @sugaxjpg​​ - one shot | 13.4k | Boxer AU, Gang AU | S, slight A 🌷

Seokjin 

...cause I Iike you?! @scriptaed​​ - drabble | 2.1k | Enemies to Lovers | F 🌷

Blurred Lines  @yoonia​​ - series | 25.9k | Teacher AU, Tattooed Biker!Jin, Bar AU | S ~ [3/3] 🌷

01 02 03

What We Left Behind @suhdays​​ - one shot | 9k | Exes AU, Travel AU | A, F

Yoongi

Inevitable @btsarmy9593​​ - drabble | 1.7k | Mafia AU, Childhood Friend, Bar AU | F, A  🌷

Litost @ethertae​​ - one shot | 7.8k | Enemies (to Lovers?) | S x A = hate sex 🌷 (I’ve read this years ago and I am so glad I found it again 🥰]

She’s not Afraid @moononthejoon​​ - series | smau with written parts | fwb AU, College AU | A, F, S   ~ [31/31]

Stay High  @personasintro​​ - one shot | 16.5k | Exes AU, inspired by Tove Lo ‘s Habits (so expect toxic behavior) | S, A  🌷 

Hoseok 

Covenant + Repose @junghelioseok​​ - one shot + drabble | 17.7k | Werewolf AU, Bestfriends to Lovers, Arranged Marriage AU | 🌷

The Talent Finder @threeletterslife​ - one shot | 10.5k | Musician AU, kind of Supernatural (OC can see person’s calling) | F, A 

War & Peace @out-of-jams​ - one shot | 9.9k | ABO dynamics, alpha!hoseok, omega!reader, Enemies to Lovers | F (this is really cute) 

Jimin

He’s Pretending + drabble @crystaljins​​ - one shot | 4.9k | Faerie Reader x Demon Jimin, Enemies to Lovers, Fantasy AU | F 🌷

Nine One One @yminie​​​ - series | 41.2k | Exes AU, Detective AU, Crime AU | A, F, S ~ [3/3]

01 02 03

Rules Of The Game @probablypjm​​ - one shot | 6.7k | Dom!Jimin, Office AU, Slytherin Jimin, Hufflepuff Reader, MMF with Yoongi | S, A, slight F

Taehyung

Aquarium  by whatifyoulivelikethat - two shot | 6.8k | Breakup AU, Strangers to Lovers, about Healing | A, F [2/2]

01 (Jungkook) 🌷  | 02 (Taehyung)  🌷

Black Waltz @jimlingss​​ - two shot | 26.8k | Butler AU, Historical AU | F, A  [2/2]  🌷 

01 02

Curtain @btssmutgalore​ - one shot | 4.8k | exhibitionism, (kinda) Strangers to Lovers | S 

Love Me or We Both Go Down @gukyi​ - one shot | 32k | Arranged Marriage AU, Enemies to Lovers | F, A, S 🌷

The Snow King @bloomsuga - one shot | 25k | Fantasy AU, Royalty AU, Arranged Marriage AU | F, A, S 

Jungkook

Ancient History by moononthejoon - one shot | 12.8k | part of the Playlist series, Exes AU, Actors AU | A, F, S  🌷

A Quarter Past Us @jjiimin​ - one shot | 13.8k | Exes AU, Breakup AU | A, F 🌷

Brat Taming @sugasbabiie​ - one shot | 8.2k | Fuckboy AU, Roommates AU, Enemies to Lovers, Tattoo Artist!JK, Noona AU | S, A, F

Casual @omot7​ - series | smau with written chapters| idiots to lovers AU,  College AU | A, S, F ~ [20/20]

Concealed Weapon @gimmesumsuga​ - one shot | 10k | Established Relationship, Husband AU, Mafia AU, Assassin AU(?) | S, PWP 🌷 (probably the 4th time I’ve read this 💦😝)

Confidential @sincerelyourfangirl​ - one shot | 4.2k | Secret Agent AU | S, F 🌷

Cut Me Loose  @dreamyjoons​ - one shot | 3.6k | fwb AU, Rebound AU 😭 , Unrequited (?) Love | A, S, F (the ending reminded me of Say Anything boombox scene lol)

Heartbreaker With A Heart Of Gold @filmflowersbangtan​ - one shot | 3.8k | Rockstar AU, Exes AU | A, S, F 🌷

Hot Boy Bummer @jungkxook​ - one shot | 14.6k | Bestfriend AU, fwb AU, Fuckboy AU | S, A, F 🌷 

Make It Right by jungkxook - one shot | 11.5k | part of the Melodrama Tour series, Band AU, Exes AU | A, S, F 

Mango by whatifyoulivelikethat - series | 13.2k | A love story between bad boy Jeon Jungkook and a strange girl with mango eating obsession. | A, F, S 🌷 (it’s a healing type of fic, I love this so much 🥰)

01 02 03 04

May 31 @jeonjeonggukenergy​ - one shot | 5k | Roommate AU, College AU, a different take on “there’s only one bed” | S, F 🌷 (second time reading this!)

Microwave Misadventures  @bymoonchild​ - one shot | 20k | Roommates AU, Enemies to Lovers, College AU | A, F, S 🌷 (this was one the fics that launched my love for roommates x E2L combo years ago)

Pop Goes The Cherry @1oserjk​ -  drabble-ish? | 3.8k | Brother’s Best Friend AU, Childhood Friends AU, virgin!reader | A 🌷

Safety Net @pradaksj​ - two shot | 40k | Boxer AU, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Roommates AU | A, F, S 

01 02

Sex Education 2.0 @extravaguk​ - sequel | 9k | Established Relationship AU, Brother’s Best Friend AU | F, S, A 🌷 (sequel is even better and Part 1 is already great 🤗)

Somnolent  @forgottenpasta​ - drabble | 3k | Roommates AU, Friends to Lovers | pure FLUFF 🌷 (an old favorite)

Sugarplum Energy by bymoonchild - one shot | 17.9k | fwb AU, College AU, Soundcloud Singer AU, Idiots to Lovers AU, secret identity | S, A, F 🌷 (a re-read 🥰)

The Likelihood Of Being On Your Mind by jjiimin - one shot | 18.2k | Childhood Friends AU, Neighbors AU, slight Enemies to Lovers, College AU | F, A 

The Lonely Hearts Club @vantaenims​ - one shot | 17.5k | College AU, Friends to Lovers | A, F (erm, poor Koo? 😭)

The Tutor by sugasbabiie - one shot | 4.1k | Jock AU, Tutor AU | S, F 

Way Down In Bed Stuy @minstrivia​ - one shot | 5k | Sister’s Boyfriend AU, Infidelity AU | S, A 🌷 (a re-read)

The Weeb Kook Collection @himbojk - drabble series | 29k | College AU, nerd koo x popular girl | S, F, A 🌷 [4/4 + seasonal drabbles]

🥕posted: 2021 Jan 23 🥕link to other reading lists  | Jan Part 2  🌹 I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic =

#ggukkiereadinglist #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #namjoon fanfic #namjoon x reader #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #hoseok fanfic #hoseok x reader #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader