#the desperation of wanting to save and protect the one you love without being able to express it

[10underoot2]

Faithful Lovers

This scene has become one of my favourite things to exist.

I love this scene for the rawness and openess of conversation. It's both of them telling each other with so much conviction why they need the other to see their perspective. It's vulnerable, it's beautifully done, it's art.

The pain in the hug is so palpable but so is the comfort. It's so hard to see her trying to add distance between them - before Hyunwoo pulls her into his embracss - cause she can.not.be swayed.by him. Does Hyunwoo apologise for putting her in a situation like this? For not realising just how much she has to lose? Or for being selfish begging her to say yes to this surgery?

Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me want to live. I won't be able to recognize you. I'll become a stranger.

First things first, thank you Kim Jiwon for that delivery. It killed me emotionally, made me cry and want to hug you even more. Protect this beautiful smoll bean at all costs.

Notice how one of the major things that keeps breaking her resolve is him. His love. His understanding. His physical being. Yet the only thing stopping her from living is also him . His memories. His love. Him.

When he tries to convince her that she will fall in love with him again her little head shake says 'But it won't be the same.' I love how it isn't written off as Oh I know I'll be able to love you. She has doubts. So many of them. I think just the idea that she could wake up and lose her ability to love him is unbearable to her. What if she can't love with the same intensity? Not feel what she feels right this moment? What if she looks into his eyes after the surgery and feels like she would rather forget him than die? Haein knows how much Hyunwoo's put into ensuring she lives yet she rather experience that love than throw it all away on a chance.

But Hyunwoo is defiant. He's not taking no for an answer. He can't anymore. He hates that she won't listen to him. That she's having doubts. Isn't it common sense? He'll be there. They'll figure it all out. She'll be alive. It's such an interesting and logical perspective to have 'as long as there is life anything can happen.' because once she's dead that's it.. it's the end. But if she's alive, the possibility and capacity of love still exists.

Even if you don't fall for me, ignore me or dislike me I'll still be there for you through it all. Why doesn't this kid understand that's exactly why she can't agree to it. She can't bear the possibility of that happening.

I think Hyunwoo shines when he says 'I made a promise. That I'd be by your side even if there's a debt or something more. So don't worry and just stay here please.'

Notice how this is directly in contrast with what she says right at the beginning 'We make promises in good times thinking they'll never end.' But Hyunwoo remembers and he's willing to be there through it all.

Don't pray about dying. I'm terrified it'll come true.

She's praying to die. Let that sink in. For a man who believes enough to pray for her to be saved, when her death is so imminent - almost a fact, this is indeed terrifying. I feel his fear and pain. Good grief, she's praying to die when there's such a big possibility of exactly that. She accepted her fate and he's willing to fight tooth and nail to change it. It's a tesimtiment to how many times he's spent thinking of a life without her. He's convincing her to rid of their memories. I know he's aware of exactly what it means. The chances they're taking but the idea of not seeing her again is so unbearable for him.

I love Haein's strong mindedness. She didn't budge. Her last look for me read 'I get it. I get it all but just no. I can't lose you. Please don't cry and make this harder. Don't make me want to live.' and with that she hardens her heart as she steps away and takes her hand from him.

While this man, ouff this man. Can we take a moment to appreciate the sheer desperation on his face. After she signals no again he's so helpless. 'Please, please see me and live, if only for me. I cannot fathom this earth without you.' Seriously, we all need to take a minute to appreciate his desperation throughout this scene. The woman that he loves, his ideal women won't agree to stay alive because she loves him too deeply. Just writing this hurts me.

It's interesting this scene works because by now we know where they both stand in this episode. For me, the reason this scene shines is the vulnerability - the two of them having this extremely open and confrontational confession. When scenes like this are executed and written well it creates everlasting frames like this.

Also they both suck at praying. If you're praying just pray to keep her alive and keep her memories intact. Why are they picking and choosing? It's not like God has a limit to what he can do. Truly nonsense prayers from both of them. 🙃

Gif credits: @jcpostsobsessions and @seawherethesunsets

#the hands #ouff the hands! #so much conviction and desperation there #queen of tears #baek hyun woo #hong hae in #kdrama #kim ji won #kim soo hyun #hong haein #such a well done scene #one of my favs #up there with P&P rain scene #can't believe I'm finally done analysing this scene! #two extremely emotionally taxing scenes left to analyse!

[little-diable]

Twin Flame - Dean Winchester (smut)

Inspired by the song "Twin Flame" by Brennan Story. I love love love this fic, and I hope y'all will love it too. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Months ago Dean had broken the reader's heart, a desperate try to protect her. But he no longer manages to stay away, needing to find his way back to her.

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected piv, slight breeding kink, makeup sex, some heartbreak in the beginning, a very very happy end

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (2.8k words)

Well this road don't get no shorter, I would've drove the whole thing for you, my tank down to a quarter, and it'll be gone soon

„What is up with you lately, Dean?” Sam’s voice filled Baby, worried eyes watching his brother. No reply left Dean as he kept driving on, caught in his memories like a fly trapped in the web of a spider set to kill. He was stuck, without a way out, and yet, deep down inside he prayed that he’d never be able to leave those memories behind. 

Whenever he got a moment to let his thoughts wander, he had to think of her, the one who still holds his heart in her hands, even after all these months. Being with her had been something he had never experienced before, a new sensation he longed for like a man dying of thirst dreaming of any water he could drink. Loving her had been everything Dean wasn’t, it had been sweet, easy, it had been too good to be true. 

Whenever he was lying awake at night, eyes staring at the dirty ceiling of the motel rooms he and Sam found shelter in, he imagined her laying next to him, head resting on his chest, listening to his calmly beating heart. Dean still felt her weight on him, if he closed his eyes he could feel her right there with him, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear, words that had been etched into his mind. 

“Dean?” Sam tried again, worried eyes flickering back to the dark road ahead, knowing that it would take them at least a couple more hours to make their way to the bunker. “Hey man, c’mon, talk to me, I can tell something is going on.” 

“It’s nothing, Sammy.” His voice told Sam everything he needed to know, exposing the hurt, the sadness flushing through Dean’s system. Dean’s green eyes were hazy, no longer filled with that special glint spurring him on whenever they were on a hunt, it felt as if he was no longer in the car with Sam, just a body without a soul tied to it. 

“Is it about her? Dean, you should just call her, reach out, it’s never too late.” A sharp inhale of cold air was forced into Dean’s lungs, teeth grazing his lower lip to stop his angry words from rolling off his tongue. He couldn’t reach out, couldn’t call the one whose heart he had broken, leaving her behind without looking back once, choosing the life with his brother over her, a hunter just like him and his brother – a woman Dean wanted to protect from being hurt because of him.

The cold words he had spoken to her were still ringing in his ears, how he had pushed her away, nothing but a stupid spiel Dean stuck to, in order to save her from a life filled with uneasy times, with hunts that would leave their marks on her. Dean Winchester would do everything to keep her safe, even if it meant breaking (y/n)’s heart, and his own. 

And my drink been feelin' lighter, 'cause I'm a lover not a fighter, and I seen that you caught fire, when you put me out

“Sammy, wake up, we’re home.” Dean’s rough voice filled the dark night, hand shaking his brother’s shoulder. It took Sam a moment to wake, hands rubbing his tired eyes. Slowly did the younger Winchester brother undo his seatbelt, halting his movements as he noticed that Dean wasn't moving. 

“What’s wrong?” Worry dripped from the tip of Sam’s tongue, watching his brother’s gaze flicker between the steering wheel and the phone Dean kept clinging to. 

“I have something to do, I’ll be gone for a few days.” Silence filled Baby, a silence so loud, Dean started to shuffle around in his seat, waiting for his brother to speak up or to start moving, already annoyed with the time they kept wasting just now. Dean was feeling antsy, nervousness filled his system, a sensation so unfamiliar he couldn’t help but curse it. 

“Dean,” Sam whispered his brother’s name, hand finding his shoulder. “Get her back, stop worrying about dragging her down with you, she’s stronger than the both of us combined, she’ll do just fine being around us.” 

Dean couldn’t reply, throat too tight, mouth too dry to produce any sounds, unsure what to say to the brother of his that looked at him with so much hope swimming in his pupils. Sam didn’t know much about the night where Dean had left her, he didn’t know of the words he had spoken, hurtful words that have left their scars on his and her soul, it’d be a miracle if she’d take Dean back. But he couldn’t breathe without her near, couldn’t live on without her by his side. 

……

“Absolutely not.” (Y/n)’s eyes met Dean’s desperate ones, body turned from him as she tried to close her door, without any luck, wood caught by the boot he had pushed past her entrance. A string of curses left her, jaw ticking in anger as her eyes found their way back to his, reading the pleading swimming in his pupils before she slowly took a step back, inviting him back in. 

Dean followed her through the all too familiar four walls he had once started to call his new home, the house they should grow old in, the house they should raise their children in, nothing but mere dreams that have evaporated into nothing but a hazy dream both could no longer recreate. 

“I always knew you’d step low, but turning up here is ruthless, even for you, Dean Winchester.” (Y/n) had her arms wrapped around herself, eyes not daring to leave his once. Slowly he sank down on her couch, right next to her, not giving (y/n) a chance to move away. Without thinking he reached for her hand, moving faster than she had anticipated, catching her fingers before she could move them away as if he was a flame she burnt herself on. 

“I wasn’t planning on coming here, hell, I wasn’t planning on ever setting my foot back in this house.” His whispers were torn between sounds reminding one of cries for help and a voice so quiet one could have problems understanding what he was saying. An angry huff left (y/n), glassy eyes focusing on the calloused fingertips stroking the back of her hand, pushing an all too familiar sensation through her body. She was trembling, begging for whoever was listening to relieve her from the pain she had never been able to let go of, and yet she had tried to keep on moving, without looking back once. 

“You broke my heart, you left me without an explanation, just your awful words. One day you were here, and the next you were suddenly gone. It took me a while to give my life a new meaning, to adjust to hunting on my own, but I managed just fine for the past months, Dean. Why do you have to return the second I’m finally okay on my own?” Her tears started rolling down her cheeks, dripping from her chin like a once dry waterfall regaining its impressive strength. With his other hand finding her jaw, Dean started drying her tears, heart clenching in his chest as he was once again reminded of the pain he had pushed her through. 

“I know, and I’m so sorry for being so fucking selfish, but I can’t stay away. Every second without you by my side is pure torture, you’re the only thing I can think of, no matter when or where I am. I’m sorry sweetheart, I really am. All I ever wanted to do was keep you safe, after watching you getting hurt because of me, because I couldn’t step back from a hunt we should have called backup for, I knew i had to get away from you. I can’t be the reason you get into any more danger. But as much as I hate myself for saying it, I can’t live without you, not any longer.” A heavy sigh left (y/n) as she looked at Dean, focusing on the pain filling his green pupils, on the lifeless expression tugging on his features. He was no longer the Dean she had once been with, no, he had changed, their breakup had left its marks on him, as much as it had left its marks on her. And yet she still longed for him, after all the sleepless nights she had cursed him for. 

“I need time to think this through, you have hurt me so much, Dean, so much. But I still love you, a lot. You can sleep on the sofa and we can talk in the morning.” Slowly Dean let go of her, pulling his hands away to give (y/n) enough space to rise to her feet. With one last glance thrown his way, she disappeared down the hallway, letting the door to her bedroom fall shut with a soft thud. 

And as Dean sat on the sofa he had once put together with (y/n), he couldn’t help but give into the tears welling up in his eyes. 

And I'd set fire onto, these boots running from the hard truth, that you don't need me the same way I need you

……

Dean woke with a groan leaving him, back aching from the uncomfortable position he had been sleeping in. It took him a few seconds to remember the past hours, how he had turned up at (y/n)’s place, how he had cried into his hands as she had parted from him. His green eyes shot open, finding a pair of all too familiar eyes already staring at him. (Y/n) was sitting on the edge of the sofa, wearing the same shirt she had worn hours ago. Only now did Dean realise that the shirt had once belonged to him, pushing a very welcomed heat through his aching body. 

“I made some coffee.” Her soft voice left his heart skipping beats, needing to cherish these moments should she ask him to leave in the upcoming minutes. Slowly did Dean sit up, stretching his neck and arms before he murmured a “Thank you, sweetheart”, taking the cup of warm coffee (y/n) pushed into his direction. 

“I didn’t catch any sleep, but I got enough time to think.” Dean braced himself for the words she was about to speak, teeth grazing his lower lip. His heart was racing way too fast for the early hour, and yet Dean didn’t manage to calm his system, palms growing sweatier with every second. He struggled to look into the eyes he’d see whenever he closed his at night, desperate to feel her close, pupils that were once so familiar, so loved, pupils that felt like nothing but a fever dream now. “I love you too much to push you away, but it’ll take me some time to trust you again, Dean. You have to accept that we’ll both get hurt on hunts, with or without Sammy. And you’ll accept that I’ll join you on all hunts I want to join, you won’t get a say about my decisions. Are we clear?”

He looked at her for a few more moments before his hand found the back of her neck, pulling (y/n) in for a bruising kiss. With a gasp leaving (y/n) she moved closer, arms finding their way around his neck, allowing Dean to pull her into his lap. The kiss was fuelled by their longing for one another, hearts begging them to never part ways again, unable to endure another wave of heartbreak. 

“I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back, whatever you need. I love you so much, sweetheart, I don’t want to live another day without you by my side.” Dean murmured his words against her lips, pulling her in for another kiss as his hands disappeared underneath the comfortable shirt of his she was wearing. Her breath hitched in her chest as Dean shuffled them around, pressing (y/n) against the sofa with him nestling between her thighs. Moans clawed through the two as Dean began to roll his hips, rubbing his hardening bulge against her damp panties. 

“Been dreaming about you touching me, as much as I hated myself for it, I couldn’t help but miss you, your lips, your fingers.” A soft, throaty laugh rumbled through Dean as he pushed her shirt up to expose her chest to his hungry eyes, lips finding her hardening nipples almost instantly, leaving his marks on every inch of her warm flesh. 

“Fuck, no matter what I tried, my mind always wandered back to you. I imagined the words you’d moan, how you’d wrap your fingers around my cock. Can’t believe I’m getting another chance to love you.” No longer could she reply to his words, (y/n) had almost forgotten the loving words his mouth and mind were able to create in moments like this one, set on making her feel the love his heart pumped through his system. “I need to be inside of you, it’s been too fucking long. Do you have a condom?”

“No, but I’m clean, I didn’t sleep with anybody but you.” She was almost scared to ask Dean if he had touched another woman, struggling to form the question that now rang through her mind, leaving her breathless. Dean pushed another kiss against her lips before he shuffled out of his clothes, exposing his twitching cock to her wandering eyes.

“Good, you’re mine to touch only, forever mine. I didn’t touch anybody else, just the thought of it made me sick, no matter how much alcohol I needed to try and forget about us.” With her hand finding its way back to  his neck, and with her legs slowly wrapping themselves around his hips, (y/n) chased his slightly swollen lips.

The sound of their moans leaving them in unison was drowned by their kiss, Dean moved slow at first, needing to hold back before he’d cum right there and then, no longer used to feeling her tightness wrapped around his cock. Both clung to one another as he fucked her into the sofa, with one hand placed on the arm rest and the other on her waist, leaving marks with his fingertips digging into her skin. (Y/n) arched her front against his, trembling legs not daring to loosen their hold on his waist, wondering if she was only stuck in a dream, or if Dean was truly fucking her, reminding her that she was his.

And no matter how hard I try, I'll never learn to say goodbye, you say it's okay to cry, baby that river done ran dry 

“God, how I missed feeling you, feels so perfect, so fucking perfect.” With his forehead pressed against hers, Dean added more speed to his thrusts, growing rougher as her walls fluttered around him, tensing every now and then. Dean had lost count on the amount of times he had dreamt of feeling her again, of loving her just like he had always promised he would. 

“Same, fuck, don’t ever leave me again, Dean.” (Y/n) choked on his name, hand disappearing between their bodies to circle her sensitive bundle of nerves. Both knew  that they wouldn’t be able to hold back for much longer, it felt as if they hadn’t been able to let go for months, unable to touch themselves without thinking of one another. But both had tried to make themselves cum for weeks on end, unable to do so, since their minds painted pictures too painful, pictures they could now finally leave behind.

“Where do you want me to cum, sweetheart? Fuck, I won’t be able to hold on for much longer.” Another moan left (y/n) as Dean’s lips found her jaw, kissing their way down her neck. It took her a moment to reply, choking on her breaths, unable to think clear with her thoughts growing hazy. 

“Inside of me, please, Dean, fill me up.” She felt his cock twitching inside of her, forcing her to add more pressure on her clit, crying his name as she came. Dean followed her down the edge, eyes rolling back into his head as he came with a “Fuck” leaving him.

Both were heavily breathing, not daring to part with their bodies still joined, just like their jumping hearts. (Y/n) murmured his name as she combed a hand through his hair, eyes finding his, “I love you Dean, no matter what will happen between us, I belong to you, as much as you belong to me.” 

#Dean Winchester smut #Dean Winchester imagine #Dean Winchester x reader #supernatural smut

[luvsugu]

see you later

(ch78/s2e5)suguru x reader, angst (nah i fucking hate myself for this), so much hurt and absolutely no comfort

suguru asks you, with the soft voice that he’s always had, one that is gentle, warm and loving, “do you think i’m a terrible person?” 

he knows he is—at least, he himself believes that he is—but he doesn’t blame himself, not when he just wants to live in a world where he and others just like him don’t have to continue to suffer. isn’t it fair to want to truly live? not to be stuck in a world where the lines between justice and immorality are so blurred people no longer know which is which? a world where maybe, just maybe, he could catch a glimpse of truly being able to be happy from the bottom of his heart? 

maybe you don’t understand. he doesn’t expect you to. he’s grown up, not needing everyone to understand him or even be there for him. times have just simply changed and if you tell him he’s stupid, he’s horrible, he doesn’t deserve to say goodbye to you, then so be it. 

but, even still, his shoulders relax when you sniffle and shake your head. 

“i don’t,” you whisper to him, voice so constrained as you try your hardest not to let it crack or let a sob escape past your lips. you’re scared that once it happens, your last conversation with suguru would just be you sobbing, wishing you got to say everything on your chest. it still seems likely, though, since you can’t even face him or find a way to put things together so that he’d maybe understand why you don’t and won’t ever hate him. 

the way suguru let’s out a breathy “really?” is almost comical. he lets out a small chuckle, one that would make anyone wince as it sounded so painful; but suguru’s never been great at trying to make heavy topics into something lighter even when you are. he’s always taken things as they are, seen situations for what they are, and maybe that’s why he’s where he is now. 

it’s ironic how this same attitude, simply accepting and seeing the truth and value of the strong having to protect the weak, that because he was gifted with an ability he’s to save those who aren’t, is now applied to needing to build a world where the weak he used to protect no longer exists. how can you blame him when it’s those same people needing to be protected that left him a mess, unsure where his morals are, unsure of his own path. it’s easier said than done not to lose your way, and suguru knows that first hand. 

he doesn’t explain anything to you, he’s certain that the others back at the school probably told you already. he’s just here to say goodbye, anyway. 

maybe, too, he’s here to hear your voice one last time. 

“this is where i’m headed now,” he continues, voice still gentle, warm and loving, “and… all i can do now is give it my all.” 

“i know,” you hurriedly tell him, nodding as you wipe away your tears desperately. there’s a part of you that’s you wishing he was saying something else—that he isn’t saying goodbye without actually saying it because the both of you know it’s always been ‘see you later’—but you know better than to wish and hope away things like this in your life. that there is no later, and this is it. you’re left with no options but to cherish this last moment and it just hurts. still, you can’t say anything else but, “i know, suguru… i know.” 

he gives you time, patient as ever, and watches you from where he stands. he’s farther than he usually is, no longer keeping your feet between his own, and now needing more than just a whisper to let you hear his words. he stands at an unfamiliar distance, but he doesn’t allow himself to cherish familiarity with you anymore since he convinces himself that it’s better to just say goodbye. it’s cruel, though, that the hug you two shared two weeks ago became the last one without you two knowing. 

“y/n,” he finally calls out—he realizes he no longer has all the time in the world with you. 

“i know,” you repeat, this time unable to hold back a sob, “i know, suguru! and i’m so sorry! i didn’t— i didn’t—“ you inhale sharply and cover your mouth with both your hands. now is not the time, you tell yourself, you need to say something to make this worth while. “i just wish i was there,” you whisper, looking towards suguru with your brows furrowed upwards and your expression twisted in a way that suguru sees a pain that he never wished to see you in. 

he nods to let you know he heard you, though, never looking away as you had finally looked him in the eyes since he got here. “remember to eat and take your vitamins, okay?” he tells you, taking a step back as he clenches his fists in his pockets, “and make sure you set a timer on your fan at night so you don’t wake up all cold in the mornings, okay?” 

you nod as he speaks. “okay—“ you sob out, “i will— i’ll— i'll remember.” 

he nods again, forcing the smile on his face. “okay. then...” he couldn’t bring himself to do what he came to you for. he lets out a small laugh and turns away, not wanting to ever let you see that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting you. “see you later.” 

#jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen reader insert #jjk reader insert #jujutsu kaisen drabble #jjk drabble #geto suguru #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x y/n #geto x y/n #geto suguru headcanons #geto suguru reader insert #geto suguru drabble #geto suguru angst #geto angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk angst

[general-cyno]

it's dressrosa time for more zolu rambles. there were some really good and funny bits like zoro being (unsurprisingly) on board with luffy's idea of fighting the emperors

luffy charging right after zoro when he gets his sword stolen bc it looks fun (though he ends up in the tournament instead)

zoro getting absolutely sidetracked from his very important mission of going back to the sunny to help the others bc he saw luffy participating in the tournament, then again when he saw luffy in person (he wanted to be invited too!)

luffy happily and without hesitation agreeing to zoro's crazy plan for the lift

cheers to luffy's casual, unwavering faith in zoro!

zoro just letting luffy do whatever he wants and manhandle him around with a simple "yeah sure where we going" compared to law who is decidedly Not Even Remotely Used to this kind of treatment

their gremlin braincell once again shining through as they both laugh at pica (much to law's continuous exasperation)

I also liked how confidently luffy decided and told zoro he'd continue ahead while zoro chose to stay behind and deal with pica, yet again demonstrating luffy's casual but firm trust that zoro can handle things and protect others in his stead, while he takes care of the biggest threats. zoro's own taunting and smug "our captain wants nothing to do with a pebble like you, so you have to make do with me" at pica was good too lol.

when zoro finally defeats pica and side characters, in awe of his strength, are baffled that someone so powerful is luffy's "henchman"? also peak.

two other things I enjoyed, albeit not necessarily involving zoro and luffy directly, were:

- zoro taking the lead, attempting to stop doflamingo's birdcage by force and doing so by asking for ppl's help (showcasing his willingness to guide as much as rely on others when it's needed) which drove folks to actively follow him in a similar fashion to how they tend to do with luffy. in a way, zoro's determination uplifted ppl's spirits + the whole thing helped keep civilians and others safe while luffy recuperated enough to finish off doflamingo. it's no wonder zoro was one of the few straw hats to stay behind in dressrosa, since that's the kind of feat someone like him (as luffy's first mate/second in command) can accomplish. really highlights zoro's role in the crew and why luffy's belief in zoro's reliability, of him being able to handle dire situations and protect ppl on his own without luffy having to worry abt/over him is a recurring and important part of their overall relationship. usopp desperately asking zoro to save him back during the pica ordeal and hugging him afterwards in relief as other characters thanked him too, was a funny and sweet way to acknowledge this as well.

- this interaction between luffy and rebecca:

can't say whether it was intentional or not, (probably not since these chapters are wildly apart from each other) but it made me think of luffy and zoro's first meeting, and how luffy ultimately decided to make zoro part of his crew after he asked to be fed the stomped riceballs and for luffy to tell rika they were delicious. these two are so very similar on a fundamental level, even if they still retain certain differences and distinct approaches depending on the situation, and it was nice to see another reminder of it. both luffy and zoro are, at their core, strong and kind characters (though in a curiously selfish manner) who don't hesitate to acknowledge and repay the kindness they're offered in turn. imo it's cool how these shared traits have allowed them to understand and stay alongside each other to this point.

edit: forgot to mention but sabo entrusting the crew with luffy's safety and giving them luffy's vivre card (handing it to zoro specifically) as zoro fondly remarks how he resembled ace back in alabasta was just. really really good as well. esp when you consider how much the crew loves luffy, and what zoro himself has done to protect him.

#zolu #long post #tp #yes it's that annoying mf on the zolu tag again with his manga rambles hello #now I'm off to cry abt sabo corazon and law on my priv again see ya again for the next arc post #jay reads op

[intimidating-fettuccine]

okay, but I haven't seen EJ content lately and I miss him :(, could I request an angsty question with him?

https://www.tumblr.com/intimidating-fettuccine/728812046178811904/httpswwwtumblrcomintimidating-fettuccine6891?source=share

We're back in the fucking building again, another one for the series of 'Slender pulling the creep away from Y/N after Y/N died in their arms.'

Jack hasn't been able to breathe for what seems like hours. The second you took that fatal blow on your mission he'd rushed you home, blood dripping in a steady path the whole way as he rushed you to the medical lab. He'd tried just about everything he could think of, but the damage had already been done, and with how easily you accepted it, it just served to make him feel more dissociative. This couldn't be happening. It's not possible. He's worked so hard to learn how to apply and use medical techniques to keep everyone in the mansion safe, but he couldn't even save you, the person he loved most. By the time Slender comes down to the medical lab Jack is hunched over your body and clutching onto you, an animalistic look in his eyes as he hyperventilates, losing himself to his instincts to protect. Slender has everyone else cleaning your blood off of the flooring upstairs, wanting the lab to be empty for this. 

As Slender slowly moves closer to the two of you, Jack lets out a deep, vicious growl that would scare anyone else, but Slender keeps creeping forward. He speaks slowly, telling Jack it's okay, Slender isn't going to do anything bad, that Jack needs to calm down, that your body has to be taken care of, but he just bares his fangs and continues growling. Eventually, Slender gets too close, and Jack in a moment of weakness to his instincts latches onto him, sinking his teeth into Slender's arm, but the second he tastes Slender's blood he snaps out of it, weeping like a baby as he holds Slender's arm in his mouth. Slender gets him off of him, pulling him into an embrace as Jack begins to finally break down now that his senses are coming back to him. He clings onto Slender to ground himself, if only to prevent himself from clawing his his face and head as he feels increasingly angry at himself for not being able to save you. Slender stands with him for a while, getting him to calm down and be more stable, reassuring him that it's not his fault. Once that injury tore through your body it had already been too late, and you wouldn't want him blaming himself. Jack doesn't know what to believe anymore, but he tries his best to listen to Slender's words. 

The two of them work quietly together, getting your body cleaned up and ready to go into one of the morgue freezers. Jack wants to be the one doing it all himself, but he knows if he was left alone he'd lose himself again. Jack is shaking by the time they're done, and Slender grabs a damp cloth, tenderly cleaning your blood off of Jack's exposed skin, ridding Jack of the scent of blood keeping him riled up. He feels like a fraud. His medical talents were so good he was renowned for them in the Underworld, but he couldn't-- He inhales sharply to prevent himself from doing something rash to himself, and he stands there, flipping rapidly between ultimate despair and extreme self-loathing. Slender sits up that night, choosing to forego sleep so that he can keep Jack company, considering Jack is nocturnal and Slender doesn't want him unsupervised until it's time for him to finally get some rest he desperately needs. Slender's company is the only thing preventing Jack from breaking, and he doesn't know how to handle himself without you there to calm him down. Though, he bitterly thinks to himself as tears slide down his face, he's going to have to learn now, now that he doesn't have you to help him anymore. He's never felt more alone in his life, and that thought scares and distresses him.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #eyeless jack #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack headcanon #eyeless jack headcanons #slenderman #slenderman headcanon #slenderman headcanons #slenderman x reader

[artists-ally]

{She Gets The Flowers, Right?} Reader x Lucien {Pt.2}

Welp. Here we are. Didn't know this was gonna happen. I had ZERO INTENTIONS of writing a part two but I basically got cyber bullied into making another so here ya go fuckers. Someone literally threatened to stop taking their meds so to whoever that was I hope you get to keep your kidney! Enjoy! This part is inspired by this song.

Word Count: 6,111

Warnings: ANGST (yall thought you’re gonna get a happy ending? HAHAHAH) Some pretty negative self talk.

Tagging: @bubybubsters @cyrygher @thelov3lybookworm @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @anuttellaa @lookingforamissingpage @thehighlordishere @crazylokonugget

Summary: In the days and weeks that follow your downfall with Lucien, he has no fucking clue how to go about life without you. He can’t cope. And he desperately wants to fix everything with you.

~~~~~~~

LUCIEN’S POV

I have made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I thought that would be reserved for not being able to protect Jesminda. No. This… this is… I don’t even know.

I’m just standing on the sidewalk, staring at our- her home. At the rustic, auburn door we painted. At its brass knob, at the rusty, creaking hinges that would ring through the house when someone came in. At the little potted plant in the corner, the vines spilling out of it. 

I’ll never be back here again. 

I’ll never get to hear her laugh.

I’ll never get to taste her new recipes.

I will never be able to take all that I said back. That is the most haunting feeling of it all.

I’m an awful person. After all she’s done for me. After saving my life– on more than one occasion– I went and did nothing in return. I gave her nothing for her endless kindness. All I was capable of doing was destroying the one person in my life who has given me everything I’ve ever wanted. 

Unconditionally. She always loved me unconditionally. How could I have been so blind and naive to it? How did I never see it? 

Gods every single time she made me something to eat, a recipe to try… she was basically shoving the bond in my face, hoping I would see it. And I never ever considered it. I was so lost in Elain. Lost in the fact that I finally had feelings for someone after Jesminda… Not once did I think it could be Yn. 

I don’t deserve her. I never did. I was a bitter, rotten shell of a man when she met me. She dragged me by the arms to her house to fix me. She thought I was worthy of being saved when my own father thought the opposite. Yn put me back together. She made me who I am. And this is the thanks I give her?

Elain has said all of ten sentences to me in the past year. I haven’t been able to do anything but replay every single one of them in my head. A thousand times– a hundred thousand times. I wish I couldn’t. It’s exhausting. Constantly thinking of her. But I don’t have a choice. 

I like the feeling of being able to feel again. But at the cost of Yn? At the complete sacrifice of all I’ve known for the past century? My rock? My best friend? Nothing is worth more. 

But it is far too late to do anything about it. I’ve lost her.

I want her back. 

Yn did things to me that no one else could. She just seemed to know when things were wrong. She always knows what to say, when to say it, and how. She never tells you what you want to hear, it’s always what you need. She is the most well rounded person I’ve ever met. She’s never afraid to feel her emotions. 

I envy that skill.

I’ve always hid my feelings deep down. It took years to decipher them again. But it was Yn who made me do it. She always fought for me, fought me for me. Yn never let me do it alone. Refused to, actually. Was there every step of the way and never told me I was taking too long or wasting her time. 

I get it now.

And there is nothing I can do. I have nowhere to go. Tears scald my eyes as I trudge down the little path that we beat into the grass. Day in and day out. 

I remember when we picked this place. We had only been in Velaris for a week or two when we stumbled across it. It was run down and needed a new roof. As a thank you for keeping Feyre safe on our journey across the Courts, Rhysand gifted it to us. Complete with a new roof, new furniture, a new kitchen for Yn to cook in. And he let us be. Well, let her be. I still had my debts to pay off. 

And then I met Elain and… fuck. Everything went to shit after that. 

There is no way of processing all of these emotions at once. These very real feelings I still have for Elain. And these all-of-a-sudden very fucking real feelings I now have for Yn. It’s how I imagine imploding feels like. My body wants to cave into itself and never fold back out. 

I pray to the Cauldron that I do self destruct. This feeling, a mixture between irrational rage and betrayal… I don’t wish it upon another living soul. And Gods know I’d sell mine to change everything I’ve just done. 

I don’t even know how I ended up at the Town House. All of a sudden I was just standing in front of it. I normally resent coming here, but for some reason I was relieved to see the bricks and busted up cobblestone sidewalk. Maybe no one would be here; Rhys was more often than not at the River House with Feyre and Nyx, indulging in the life of parenthood. Nesta and Cassian were probably somewhere in the House of Wind with Elain, Mor at Rita’s, Amren with Varian, and who the hell knows where Azriel is.

I can’t wait to be alone to scream. 

Fuck, the door is locked. Of course the door is locked, no one’s here. It takes every bit of control in my shiver-ridden body to not rip the door off its hinges. And it takes even more control to not collapse against the door and break down for the whole street to see. 

The lock clicks and the door opens. 

I force myself to appear relaxed. I wipe my tears and brush away my loose strands of hair. No use. My face is probably as red as the burning self hatred inside my twisted heart. 

“What are you doing here Lucien?” The High Lord asks. 

I gulp. Of all the people, it had to be him? At least it’s not Azriel, I think. I might hate him more than I hate myself. For actually getting Elain’s attention. Yn was right, I am selfish. “Sorry, didn’t realize you were in.”

“Did you leave something?” I don’t move, and I stay deathly still. Rhys looks me head to toe, and I know he can scent me from a mile away. “Lucien, what the fuck did you do?”

“Stay the fuck out of my head,” I snarled, pointing a finger at his chest. 

“I don’t need to read your thoughts. Your face says it all.”  Rhys crosses his arms over his chest, “Look, we’ve all told you that Elain is hard to reach these days. She isn’t worth-”

“This… this doesn’t have anything to do with Elain.” I lied. He seemed to know it. “Can I just come in?”

Rhys just steps aside, shutting the door behind me. “I don’t really have time for-”

“I fucked up.”

“Clearly.”

“Rhysand,” I said. So full of disgust. He looked at me with a blank expression. One I have seen too many times to not know what comes next. I eased up my tone. “Is anyone else here?”

“No,” he answers, moving around me and heading into a study on the other side of the living room. 

I can’t help but think of how we all gathered in that living room a few months ago for Solstice. Exchanging gifts and drinks and smiles and stories. I vividly remember making Yn laugh so hard she tipped her head over the arm of the couch, sending her wine tumbling to the ground. The stain still on the small rug almost makes me smile, and it almost makes me burst into tears. 

“I ruined everything in my life. Yn’s gone.” I could feel the air freeze around me. “Not like, gone gone but she’s… I don’t think I’ll ever be seeing her again.”

“So this is because of Elain.”

I bit my tongue so hard I thought I’d bite it off completely. But I sighed, the tears coming with it. “Yes.” A really long pause. “She told me I’m-”

“You’re Yn’s mate?”

“Yes.”

“And you never knew because you were so focused on Elain.” “Is that supposed to be a question?”

“It was, but you just gave me your answer,” Rhys sat. “Do you want me to keep guessing or are you going to tell me what happened?”

I took the biggest breath I could, steading my words. “I missed the opening of her restaurant because I was with Elain.”

Rhysand looked at me with such revulsion that I thought he might put me through a wall. Those wicked, violet eyes could’ve boiled my bones. For a split second I wished he would. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I don’t think there were enough words in the world for how much of an awful person I was. 

“There are things in this world that we sacrifice in this world Lucien,” Rhys said.

Hesitantly, “I know.” 

“And Yn gave up the biggest of them all. She shut her mouth to let you be happy. She did what I did for Feyre until she realized what situation she was in. You are one spineless bastard for doing anything but giving your life to her.”

“I know.”

“Have you any idea what you’ve done to her? She gave you everything you could ever ask for. From the moment the two of you stepped in my Court I could tell she only had eyes for you. When you are in the room you’re the only one she looks at. How could you have not known?”

“I don’t know…” “Yes, you do.”

I plunged my nails into my palms. “For Cauldron's sake Rhysand of course I know.”

“Then why did you continue to ignore Yn?”

“Because I couldn’t ever let myself think a female like her would like such a broken, dismantled and lost soul like mine.” Rhysand stared at me. “When Yn pulled me from the border to fix me, she spent every waking moment of her life stringing my mind and body into one piece. If I let myself think for even a second that it was anything other than kindness, I would’ve gone mad.”

“Would it have been so terrible to love her?”

“I’ve always loved her. I just never thought I’d be allowed to love her the way she loves me.”

“Because of Elain?” “Because of Elain.”

Rhys blew out a breath, sitting down on the corner of his desk. “So, let me see if I have all of this correct. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for Yn because you thought you were unworthy. Instead, you sabotaged both of your happiness for Elain simply because she was your mate and you just wanted to feel something?”

“It sounds so much more fucked when you say it outloud.” I rubbed my hands over my tired, burning eyes. “And it’s not just because she’s my mate, Rhys. I genuinely like her. She’s… she has the potential to be so sweet. I’ve seen glimpses of it, heard stories from Feyre and Nesta. Why won’t she let me see?”

“You are still clueless, aren’t you?” He scoffed. “Here you are, a ruined man because you drove away your best friend, and you’re still worried about someone who doesn’t want you. Pathetic. You are a selfish son of a bitch.”

“I can’t just ignore Elain. It’s impossible to think of anything else but her and how I can help her.” “Lucien,” Rhysand stopped me from going on another tangent. “Maybe start considering that she doesn’t want you.”

“What?” My lip trembled. “N-No she… we have a bond. It’s there she just needs time. I’m her mate, she’ll want one eventually.”

“Just like Yn will want one?” His eyes were as viscous as the tone of his voice. “You are doing the same thing to Yn that Elain is doing to you. You understand how that feels. Now imagine that Elain was the one you found on the border of the Spring Court and you spent decades nursing her mind back into her body. Recreating her personality and passions. Wouldn’t you be a little fucking irate if she started showing interest in another male after all you did for her?”

I froze.

This was so much deeper than I ever thought it could be. But I could see it. Bringing Elain back to herself all for it to be thrown away by another male. Azriel filled that roll, and I was filled with raw fury at the mere thought of that happening. 

“So now you see what Yn has been dealing with. And Gods, Lucien, she has been dealing with it for a long while. What you did was wrong, unjust, and unfair. And for you to be with Elain on the day of her grand opening, where all of us just were, is… that may be unforgivable.”

“I don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve just done…”

My shoulder hunch, and my chest cracks. I am a bleeding mess of tears. I can barely stand as I openly sob in front of Rhys. I’m surprised when he shoves a chair under me instead of letting me crumble to the floor in my self induced agony. And I’m even more surprised when he puts a hand on my shoulder. 

It’s Yn. It’s always been Yn. There is nothing in this world that can compare to her or her kindness or her love. What a fool I have been to not take the hand that was given me. What a selfish, self-serving waste of a man I have been to her. 

I can’t take it. I have to have her back. I have to fix this. I have to. I have to. I have to. 

I stand. “Woah, what are you doing?” Rhys tried to get me to sit down. 

“Yn- I have to fix this with Yn-”

“No,” Rhys slams me back into the chair. “You are not going to march back over there.”

“I have to,” I yelled. “I can’t let her kick me out without her knowing that I’m sorry. That I’ll do anything she wants me to to win her back. I can’t be without her, I need her.”

“She kicked you out?” I nodded. “You’re not going anywhere. She clearly doesn’t want to see you. Nothing you could say to her would suffice. Especially right now. She needs time. She needs space. If I find out that you go back to your- her house, I’ll drop you back in the Spring Court, do you understand me?”

I nod viciously. 

“Good,” Rhys let out a heavy breath. “You can have your old room back. Nothing in it but a few storage boxes. Everything is otherwise untouched.” Great. My old memories to haunt me. Just what I needed. For a very short week we stayed here. Yn’s room was right across from mine. Just another reminder of everything that’s happened between now and then. 

I slump in the seat, letting tears trickle down my nose and onto my knee. Watching them evaporate and dry, just for the material to be soaked again. “I’m so sorry Yn…”

I heard Rhys whirl around, and I could feel the tension across the room. He probably thinks I’m mad. I might as well be. 

More footsteps sounded than people in the house and Cassian walked in the room. Luckily I was facing away from him. “Don’t tell me he’s a part of our special detachment.”

I rolled my eyes. Cassian, ever the charming.

“No, he’s… well, he’ll be living here for a little while.”

“Do I wanna know?”

“It’s none of your business,” I snapped. No one spoke. I sighed for what felt like the billionth time today. “Sorry.”

“What happened?” Cassian asked, coming to stand next to me, his body reeking of sweat and dirt. All I had to do was lift my head and I think he understood enough. That or Rhys told him. “I won’t say anything cause I’ll probably just make it worse.”

“Probably,” Rhys nodded. 

“Probably.” My eyes burned, so did my skin. “I have to get all my stuff out tomorrow. She told me to.”

“Then you’ll do it tomorrow. Not tonight, tomorrow. Respect her wishes, or I will make you.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“We’ll be back,” Rhys grabbed a few things from his desk then ushered Cassian out the door. “Don’t do anything. Just stay here.”

It could’ve been twenty minutes or two hours until I finally moved upstairs. Forcing myself to not go to Yn’s room was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. All the conversations we had, all the plans we made. It’s where she first got the idea of her restaurant. She literally had a dream and made it a reality. 

I’d be lying if I said I told her how proud of her I was. I never have. Why have I never told her that? Could I really have been that caught up in Elain that… Wow. It’s funny how you only realize after the fact. 

My bed caught me as I collapsed into it, tucking my knees into my chest. I am such a loser. Pathetic. Just like Rhys said. My heart would burn up and die at this rate. It was a mystery how I hadn’t burst into flames yet. 

There are so many things I need, and Yn takes the top of the list. She had always been everything I needed. When I needed comfort, I went to Yn. When I needed solutions, I went to Yn. When I needed answers, to be heard, to be validated, to be loved… who was I supposed to go to now? Definitely not Rhys or Cassian, and certainly not Elain.

Maybe for the first time ever I wanted nothing to do with Elain. I didn’t want to see her. I couldn’t care less if I ever saw her again. Her presence in my life has done nothing but tear my other relationships apart. 

She’s the reason I’m here in this mess.

_____

At some ridiculous hour of the night– morning? Is that the sun?– I heard the door open. I shot up, then deflated down. I wasn’t in my bed. I wasn’t at home. And that wasn’t Yn walking in the door. 

Every thought and emotion rushed back into my head, creating an endless tangle of thoughts. The next more horrid and self destructive than the last. I deserve it. 

Missing the opening of her restaurant, Latibule–an ancient word for refuge or safe place–was the biggest mistake of my life. I will never be able to make that up to her. I turned her biggest accomplishment into a slimy, diseased memory. I ruined what was supposed to be the best night of her life.

I’ve let her down in a way I’ll never be able to repair. 

Even Rhys and Feyre were there last night. And I wasn’t. Nesta and Cassian. Azriel, Amren, Mor… they were all there, supporting her. And I was with Elain. She probably wanted to go, and I was there, holding her back. 

I need to get out of this room before it crushes me whole.

I could see the sun just barely peeking over the Sidra when I stepped outside, cloak wrapped tightly around my head and shoulders to keep out the early morning bite. 

There wasn’t a soul around, Velaris still blissfully asleep besides this one small corner store that sold hot tea and pastries all hours of the day. Rustling in my pocket was just enough for a peach turnover and a cherry blossom tea. 

The bell chimed above the door as I walked in, knocking my boots against the step to not track dirt in. 

“Early start to the day, Luc?” Ms. Immy smiled from behind the counter, polishing a few mugs before moving to come to the display case, packed full of delicious goods, savory and sweet. 

“Unfortunately,” I sighed. “Couldn’t really sleep.”

“Well I am glad to have you in, the usual?”

“That would be great, Ms. Immy.” 

The lovely owner of the bakery was Ms. Immy. One of the older members of the Night Court but as wise as they come. She’s the kindest, most gentle fae to roam Prythian. With her soft, sage green eyes and long, slender ears adorn with piercings, Ms. Immy was by far one of my favorites here. 

The kettles whistled behind her as she dipped a tea bag into my mug. Ms. Immy always had designated mugs for her regular customers. Mine was made of green clay, mostly green with a white oval on the front with two lines of flowers. In the center of it all was a simple fox. She once told me that I had the spirit of one of those extinct creatures in the human lands. That I was reserved, and at my core I fiercely protected those I cared about.

If only I had been able to protect Yn from myself.

Her mug had been one crafted of the moon and the stars. With all the constellations of the Gods being lifted into the air by the magic of the Cauldron. Ms. Immy had told her it was a visual representation that Yn was a great reminder of the past to the current world. That she was lost art that was to never be forgotten. 

There is nothing I want more than for the rest of the world to be loved as fiercely as she had loved me.

“Here is your tea, Lucien,” Ms. Immy set the mug on the counter, pushing up the glass case and plucking a peach turnover out. “And for you as well.”

“Thank you,” I tried to smile. I stared at the blackberry tart next to the peach turnovers. Yn’s go-to. It made my blood run cold. 

I put the coins in her hand before I could begin to cry again and scooted out the door as another person was coming in. 

The table and chairs outside were hard and covered in a light mist. It creaked as I sat, just as it always did. I should've sat anywhere else, but my body naturally drifted to this exact spot. It had a good view of the street so Yn and I could watch the people walk by. Pretending we know every bit of their personal lives and beyond. Make up extravagant stories and adventures for the most boring looking individuals in hopes they may one day get to go on them in another lifetime. 

Gods she is everywhere. She’s in the tavern across the street, in the stones on the ground that we used to kick on our walks. She’s in the sunrise, the same color of her heated cheeks filling the sky. There is no escaping what used to be my whole world. 

Silently, I let a few tears roll down my cheeks. I ought to be ashamed of showing so much emotion in public, but for some reason I can’t find the will to care. 

The door chimes and footsteps go back down the street. The door chimes again. 

“My fox boy,” Ms. Immy says so softly I almost don’t hear it over the roar in my ears. “What troubles you so badly you can’t sleep?”

I bite my lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises. “I don’t know how to fix something that I’ve done.”

“You missed the opening of Yn’s restaurant.” She says. 

I nod. “How did you know?”

“Because I did not see you there, fox boy.”

“She kicked me out, Ms. Immy. I deserved it, every bit of what she said was true.”

“I think that is true, Lucien,” Ms. Immy came and sat in Yn’s spot, folding her hands in her lap, letting out a breath of air as she extended her old, feeble legs. “Nobody is happy with what you’ve done but-”

“I didn’t mean to blow her off Ms. Immy I just-”

“But,” she cuts me off with a pointed look. “I think you are a very lost soul. For the first time in your life you are truly free. No High Lord to obey, no throne to fight for, no war to fight in. Just a High Lord to serve and to respect. You have everything you could ask for, and yet you have no idea what to do with it.”

She’s right. She’s always right. “I want to fix it. I have to.”

“I am afraid that may not be what the spirit of the Gods wants.” Why is it that I get called fox boy and Yn get’s called something as majestic as ‘spirit of the Gods’? “If those are her wishes, you are going to respect them. Eternally.”

“I will go mad. If I don’t have her by my side for the rest of my life I will go mad.” “So you share a bond with her as well?” She asks. 

“I don’t know. All I do is that I haven’t stopped crying and shaking at every reminder of her. No matter how small. Life without her in it is meaningless to me. Afterall, she is the one who gave it back to me.”

“And a good job she did, fox boy,” Ms. Immy smiled softly. “You are a good male who has been blinded by instincts. While it is not your fault, it has become your problem. And by the looks of you, it seems like it has become quite the ordeal.”

My shoulders dropped as I put my head in my palms. I breathed. “I don’t know how to function without her. She has been there, every day of my life, for nearly seventy years, Ms. Immy. We did everything together. Our mornings were spent as one, our evenings, all the restaurant planning and-and brunches here with you-”

“Breathe, Lucien-”

“How am I supposed to just pack up my things today and move on? H-How am I supposed to just carry on as if she never existed in my life? The thought of not being able to see her every day makes me want to peel the skin off my flesh.”

Ms. Immy looked at me, the hard lines in her face becoming more defined. “Listen to me very carefully, fox boy. What’s done is done. You cannot go back in time and take back what you said. The worst of it is over. Now comes the long process of trying to piece your life together. Whether Yn will be able to help you will depend on what you decide to do in the next several days. If you follow her wishes of moving out and staying clear, there could be a chance in the future. But, if you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope.”

If you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope… Words have never stunned me quite as forcefully as Ms. Immy’s had. The true gravity of the situation has set in, if it hadn’t already. One wrong move and she’s gone. For good.

“There is a reason why you are my little fox, Lucien,” Ms. Immy stood, taking my cold mug that I hadn’t touched. “They were intelligent, cunning creatures, just as you are. Do not let your instincts guide you to a decision. Let your heart and the facts do it for you.”

“The facts? What facts?” “The fact that you have screwed up. The fact that Yn has made a decision for you since you were incapable of doing it yourself. It is truth, and it hurts, but it has to for change to come.” And then she went inside. 

I sat with those final words for far longer than I anticipated. It was long enough for people to begin leaving their homes, the streets beginning to fill with people. 

Yn would be out of the house by now, opening for the restaurant’s breakfast hours. I could go now. Or I could stay here and try to blend into the hundreds of faces passing in and out. But I need to move. Yn might come in for her apple cider and blackberry tart. If I saw her right now I’d surely do something stupid. 

As I walked, the clouds blocked out the sun and it began to drizzle. The drizzle turned into a steady rain, then a downpour. I was soaked through my cloak and boots, water seeping in and out with every step. My hair stuck to the back of my neck. 

I kept my head down as I walked, afraid of being recognized. If Ms. Immy had been there to not see me at Latibule, who else? 

The cobblestone ended and mud replaced it. I knew where I was.

The old, beaten path dared me to go up to the house. It beckoned me. From here, at the bottom of the hill, I could see several boxes stacked up outside the door, the disposable brown material soaked through with the rain. She was serious…

Some part of me– the extremely selfish part– has been secretly hoping that she’ll tell me she made a mistake and that she wants me back. But I think those boxes are a not-so-gentle-shove in the opposite direction. 

The key in my pocket might as well have been the key to another universe, because when I opened the door it was like I entered a whole new world. One without me in it. All the pictures of us, all the paintings Feyre had done for us, were off the walls. All the plants and trinkets and decorations I gifter here were piled in the corner for me to collect.

How could so much damage have been done in just a few hours? 

One by one, I packed away the things into the soggy boxes. I moved from room to room. Silently. Hoping this was all a dream only to be launched back into reality with every memory that surfaced. Every possession I had given her in the last seventy years was piled here for me to take. 

She wanted no trace of me here. And I didn’t blame her. I don’t want any trace of me either. 

I must’ve stayed there for hours– crying, packing, reliving moments I had long forgotten only to cry again– because it was close to sunset now. Every trace of me was packed up; all those pictures, all those trinkets, all my clothes and bathing goods… everything I owned fit into these boxes. Everything except for the one person I didn’t want to do life without. 

But Rhys and Ms. Immy are right. If I try to do something now, to get her back, I’ll ruin any real chance. That is something I can’t afford. 

To an immortal, a few months or years equivalates to just a few minutes of human life. But if it takes years for Yn to accept me back in her life…

Besides the clothes and membranes from the Autumn and Spring Courts, I discard everything. I will tear myself to bits if I don’t get rid of them. Will I regret it down the road, probably, but I can’t have them. 

The two boxes and bag of clothes I carry from her house to the Town House are water logged and falling apart. It’s a miracle they didn’t unravel completely. Just add more humiliation to a High Lords son dragging boxes and bags through the street. I deserve all the stare’s and hushed questions. 

Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sights of Rhys and Cassian helping me carry them up the stairs. 

“I don’t know how you’re feeling but-”

“Don’t,” I pleaded. “Just… just don’t. I don’t want your pity, Cassian.”

“I am probably the last person besides Azriel who would pity you, Lucien. And I had no intentions to belittle you for what you did. I was going to offer you a spot in my training ring if you ever needed an escape.”

His kindness shocked me. I can’t say I know the Illyrian well, but this gesture spoke a lot to his character. So I sighed, of course I thought he was going to be hostile to me. Everyone should. “Oh.”

“Training starts at eight and goes to one. Come well fed and in something warm. The top of the House is colder.”

Neither of us said anything else as he left me to unpack.

______

Some weeks later I had taken Cassian up on his offer. Him and Nesta were great at kicking my ass and telling me about it. This side of both of them was far different than the ones I had seen. Here, Cassian wasn’t a prick. He was an instructor, teaching me how to defend my life and my honor. Nesta was… less Nesat. She channeled this otherworldly presence and became one with her weapon.

Me on the other hand… it was far more difficult. Fighting and battle wasn’t rooted in my blood like it was for Cassian. It was much harder for me to get it but I sorta did. Sorta. 

“Just keep working on that footwork and it’ll help with the sword placement. If you’re solid by the end of the week, I’ll put a real one in your hands,” Cassian grinned, chucking me my practice weapon. 

It brought a quick smile to my face. As fast as it was there it was gone. Like most these days. 

When I got home, I rifled through my closet. Brown and green and cream colored shirts after another. Where was that Night Court Blue one I had gotten a long time ago? I could’ve sworn I plucked it from the pile on the floor- no, that was a towel. I was planning on wearing it to dinner at the River House tonight for Mor’s birthday.

Oh, Yn has it. I had given it to her to wear for a meeting with a realtor when looking at properties. She had tucked it into this black leather skirt.

I’ll swing by on my way to the party to get it. Mor always liked the color on me, and said it brought out the fire in my hair. She’ll appreciate the gesture.

After a shower and some other outfit choices, I can’t help but want that blue shirt. I’ll just go get it.

Through the falling leaves, I make my way down the street, across it, and to the meadow. There are six or seven houses with smoke billowing out of their chimneys. But there, right in the distance, is her house. She’ll be at her restaurant tonight so I know I’m safe. 

I scurry up the path, still worried about being seen for some reason. 

Has it been easy these past couple weeks? No. I haven’t been able to think of anything but her. Or dream of anything but her. It’s awful. Not her, but the fact that somehow, someway, she is still everywhere I am. In those memories in the darkest part of the night. The darkest part of my mind reserved for her and her only. 

I hadn’t dared to go visit Elain. I don’t feel the need anymore. Which is relieving and frightening at the same time. It’s like there is a gaping hole in my heart that nothing will fill. Not even training. It proves a good secondary distraction, but nothing can suppress the primary guilt I feel every waking–

What is that smell? I stopped just shy of the door, key in hand. It wants to smell like the rest of the smoke and ash wafting into the air from the nearby cabins, but it’s… more alive? What if she left the stove on? Or a candle? There are hints of woods mixed into it, but not the type of woodsy scent from pine or maple logs. 

I jam the key in as fast as I can to unlock the door. What if she left the fireplace burning or had an electrical fire or-

In the span of five seconds, three things happened. One: Yn was here. And she looked so beautiful. Her eyes are bright and full of color. Two: she was being held by someone, his hands on her cheeks. Three: boiling rage shot through when I realized who it was.

Eris.

~~~~~~~~~

Part 3

#acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #lucien x you #lucien x reader #lucien acotar #lucien vanserra #acotar #acotar fandom

[candyskiez]

Thinking about ???%/Shigeo as a character today and losing my mind. Like he's so funny to joke about but also he's SUCH an interesting character (especially from a plural angle, ESPECIALLY when you're a system yourself) and he makes me want to explode. Imagine forming to protect a little kid and deciding you love him so so much and you'll always be there for him, and you love his little brother, and you love his best friend, even though the world doesn't love you very much. But you take it anyway because you have those three and your little family so you're happy. And you have powers and they're a part of you and the other kid and it's fine until it very suddenly Isn't, and nobody's explaining why, just that you need to Stop Having Them. And the kid just decides, okay, I'm sorry, I'll be normal. And you get no explanation. You just have to be suppressed that little bit more. You form because he can't handle being suppressed yet he suppresses you. And then one day it all blows up and you make a mistake trying to protect your little brother and suddenly everyone hates you. Everyone thinks every little thing you've ever done is proof you're a monster and you always would've turned out like this, and you have no idea what they're talking about. You made a mistake trying to save your brother. But because you look scary and act different, even though you've always been there suddenly you existing is dangerous. Because you made a mistake, you are now Irredeemable.

That would fuck ANY kid up. But like, think about it. Shigeo had no one except Tsumobi and Mob and Mob's family. And suddenly he has no one. Mob represses him so deeply. He makes one mistake and suddenly he's not allowed to talk to anyone, suddenly he's completely alone and isolated. He has to share a brain with someone who despises him. He has the trauma of the accident AND the trauma of suddenly losing everyone he loves on top of it. He literally had no one for years. No wonder he's so fucking cynical. All of the shit about "I don't trust anyone" in the manga? Yeah, of course he doesn't. The rug was pulled out from under him so fast. In his eyes everyone just hated him for no reason, because he existed, and everyone would hurt him for existing, so he could only trust himself. Yeah, no wonder he's so selfish, he has no one else there at ALL. It's just...holyyyy hell.

And the thing is if you actually look the little things point to him yearning for connection so desperately. He's still so aggressively protective of his family (even though he lost them a long time ago, they're Mob's now, they don't even know he's there. Don't get me started on that from a plural view. I won't shut up and will probably pour my heart out.), and just ...world domination arc. When he's so upset about losing his family. We know he doesn't trust Reigen. Yet he's running to Reigen for some sort of comfort because he's scared and doesn't want his family to die and wants someone to tell him everything's fine. And Reigen DOES and he believes him. He believes him and immediately passes out. The guy who doesn't trust anyone wants to be loved so so bad and wants to believe Reigen more than anything. He really clearly WANTS to be able to trust Reigen. But he can't. More on this later.

And also thinking about why the build up in confession arc broke him like that is just fucking sad, man. Everyone was telling them to change. Shigeo's been told to change and it meant "be normal". Mob isn't even the one who actually likes Tsumobi like that. Shigeo's being completely repressed and Mob wants to live without him completely. Everyone wants to live without him now that they've used his powers to get this nice perfect life (in his eyes, at least.) Everyone's just trying to forget he ever existed so they can be happy without him, when Shigeo never GOT to heal. He never got to move on. He never got to process any of the god awful shit that happened to him. Everyone's telling him, change. Be normal. Be normal so Tsumobi will like you. And Shigeo's so fucking stressed out of his mind because lying about who he is didn't even help Mob make friends, it didn't make him popular, it didn't make anyone like him, it just made them both miserable. He doesn't want to be stuck like this. Of course he's freaking out. We see in his encounter with the body improvement club that being told to go back to normal sets him off HARD. It's clearly a sensitive subject. "Normal" means "Don't exist" to Shigeo. Do you see why this fucked me up as a system yet. Oh my god.

And his breakdown is just...painfully understandable. Like, actually think about it for a second. Shigeo has never been shown forgiveness or compassion or any amount of understanding for his mistakes. He never was taught to mature or see any nuance. He fucked up, so he doesn't deserve any second chance. Nobody ever taught him compassion. He has such a completely black and white view of the world. If someone did something bad once, they are forever The Bad Thing. If someone was kind to him once, they are forever Good and Perfect. Teru was a threat once, so he is now Always A Threat. Reigen was a liar before so he is Always A Liar. Ritsu was sweet and kind as a kid so he is always His Innocent Little Brother. And Tsumobi accepted him as a kid, so now she's the only person who could ever possibly accept him. Teru sees Shigeo at his most terrifying, when he's actively hunting him down, and in the manga looks at him with fucking hearts in his eyes. Ritsu might not be all perfect, but he's trying so hard and understanding no, Shigeo isn't just a scary part of Mob. Shigeo isn't Evil. But because neither of their acceptance is perfect, and because they aren't from Tsumobi, he can't see it's even there. And also, another thing, his response to people acting outside of his perception of him is to get them away. It scares him. Teru isn't acting how he expected? Attack maim. Ritsu isn't afraid of him anymore? Teleport him away so he doesn't have to confront the change. Reigen acts different? Throw shit at him until he hates him.

It's just so...fuck man. Of course he's like that. He's immature and selfish because nobody taught him not to be. Nobody helped this kid when he needed it and this is the result. He thinks he's an irredeemable monster so he acts like one when he's told to just be himself. He doesn't see change as being realistic. He's been treated the same no matter what he does so he assumes this is how the world naturally is. He's just a bitter mentally ill kid who nobody gave any reason to believe that maybe the world is nice sometimes.

Another thing: I think he really really wants Reigen to care about him. Him going "I can't listen to him" is so intense with the context of the fact he immediately passes out to rest and let Mob take care of it once Reigen says his parents are safe. Reigen can convince him like nobody else can. He cares about him and wants to believe him and that's terrifying! He hates him and resents him and wants him to be proud of him and wants nothing to do with him and it's confusing and he just wants something that is (supposedly) guaranteed. He wants Reigen to care so badly and it feels impossible. Why would he ever care? He just wants to use him. The only way to bring Shigeo back from his breakdown was to show him that people can be kind without wanting something back in return. Reigen saying "you don't need me anymore" was the only real way to help him, to show him that he's not doing this for himself, but because he cares about his student(s). Because he cares about BOTH of them. He cares about every version he's seen and interacted with, not because of his powers but because they were them. He had to let go of them to truly help them here, so Shigeo wouldn't have any lingering fear. What helps Shigeo is the display of kindness with nothing to be gained and Mob finally realizing that Shigeo's just...flawed. They both realize that sometimes people are just flawed and fucked up and make bad decisions and just straight up hurt people. And they'll still love you. They'll still be worth saving. But you can't deny their flaws, for Mob, and you don't need to seek the perfect relationship to have someone there, for Shigeo. It just. Agh! God! I am always losing my mind over this story. Fuck. This SHOW .

#mp100 spoilers #mp100 #unknown percentage mp100 #shigeo kageyama #kageyama shigeo #also like. the thing of “hey man you dont need a romantic relationship to be happy” is everything to me“ too #“its fine to not have a romantic relationship. its not the end all be all” is gery appreciated #the whole system loves shigeo. this show genuinely helped us so mucj and.helped me understand myself #and thinking about the finale makes me cry #like i was tearing up so many times writing this post. help. #plural mob

[bg3-stole-my-soul]

❤️Tall Fem! Tav x Astarion Headcanons❤️

So— Tall Fem!Tavs— we need more love and I am going to attempt to play with the idea because in fandom spaces I only ever see fem Tavs that are shorter than Astarion and it makes my tall self’s heart ache.

I also know in game it doesn’t matter if your Tav is taller than Astarion…. But like what if it did— 👀

I am going to keep this as racially, background, and class ambiguous as possible however it is very clear the short races like halflings, dwarves, and gnomes this is most certainly not applicable to. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but this is for us 🤌😌

So on that note physically this Tav is tall, muscular, and probably a lil physically intimidating— and like almost every character I write is of Chaotic Good alignment. Tav is a big, sweet, mischievous muscle mommy with big hands—

This is my first time doing a post like this so please be gracious. I did my best to keep this in character for Astarion, while also sweet and mostly focused on his POV.

Being taller than most of your companions wasn’t a bad thing exactly, just a thing. You had outgrown many of your peers ages ago and while it had embarrassed you for a long time, you eventually embraced it. The stares of others became empowering instead of making you try to shrink yourself in any way you could. However this did not save you from being nabbed by mind flayers and infected— damn. It also surprised you when an elf shorter than you managed to catch you by surprise and hold a knife to your throat.

I don’t think Astarion is the type to be insecure regarding his height, man’s petty enough to climb the counters to the top shelf if he damn well feels like it. However upon meeting a female Tav who’s taller than him, stronger than him, he is ever so slightly worried. It makes him want to spur his plan of manipulation for protection into action quickly. Only because he doesn’t want to run the risk of getting snapped like a toothpick—

On that note, watching you fight absolutely does something to this man. Being able to see your muscles all the way from his perch on the other side of the battlefield is certainly something he can appreciate. He can absolutely admit that you are fine af, especially covered in blood.

At first he would be annoyed if you did things like pat him on the head with your huge hands- after all he puts a lot of work into his hair that he can’t see— but comes to realize it’s your way of gentle support. And he supposes it’s better than other things… Eventually he grows to love you resting your big hands on his head or shoulders. And even further down the line holding your hand, his slender fingers tangled in yours.

When this man chooses to try and bite you in your sleep it is absolutely out of sheer desperation because he is terrified of those arms staking him. But when you accept what he is without any real complaint.. he is pleasantly surprised. He likes you’ve got a good heart in that big chest of yours.

When he gets downed in a fight and wakes up to find himself in your arms being carried back to camp OH BOY that might be the first moment he realizes he’s in trouble.

The next time is absolutely the morning after the tiefling party. He wakes up at the crack of dawn snuggled into your tiddies— and as the old meme states “World hard and cold, tiddy soft and warm”. If he weren’t so excited to bask in the sun he would have stayed there all morning. Post confession it is his favorite way to cuddle.

He believes your arms are the safest place to be, and he is probably right. Being held by you makes him feel like he is surrounded in warmth, and if he sleeps there he usually has less nightmares. Drinking your blood with your arms wrapped around him is genuinely sweet and euphoric for this man.

❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️

~ ❤️18+ HEADCANONS BELOW❤️~

He also enjoys the two of you just snuggling and admiring one another’s appearances, it’s intimate, and it feels right. He loves being able to take his time tracing his hands everywhere on your larger body, finding the places that make you laugh and squirm for him.

He also doesn’t mind a little manhandling if it’s from you, because he knows despite your size you will happily let him move you where he wants or stop if he’s no longer comfortable.

Back at the tiefling party he let you top, and while he does enjoy that, he enjoys it just as much if not more when he does. He enjoys getting to look down at you, and see you come undone at his touch. Call it vanilla, but this man loves being able to watch your face during sex, being able to look into your eyes is a BIG thing for this man.

#bg3 #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate 3 #astarion bg3 #astarion romance #baldur's gate iii #astarion x mc #astarion x durge #astarion x tall tav #bg3 headcanons #astarion x reader #first headcanon post

[bibli0thecary]

Lose The One 

pairing (s): marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

summary: this is a part two to glimpse of us

word count: 6.6k

moon knight masterlist

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

The queasy feeling in your heart should’ve been able to stop you from going to their home. The unexplainable anxiety boiling in your chest should’ve been able to make you stay in the comfort of your bed, instead of standing in front of their door, which was left ajar. The confusion bubbling in your mind should’ve been able to tell you that nothing good was happening. 

You should’ve walked away, then perhaps your heart could still be saved. 

But curiosity and worry struck you in the heart, and with a leap of faith, you walked into their home. Deciding against calling out their names— whoever was fronting at the time— You stayed silent.

Then you heard his voice, Steven’s, in the bathroom. A soft smile grew on your face, as you could tell he was having a conversation with Marc and Jake. You had encountered it a few times before, whether it was just them having a civil conversation or arguing about things that did not matter.

Walking closer towards the bathroom, you thought it was just a fun banter between them, the one which could entertain you as you thought they were being adorable—But you had never been so wrong in your entire life.

“I’m not letting you break her heart, Marc!”

Steven’s voice was dripping with fury, and you had never heard him speak that way before. A part of you was telling you to leave, but another was telling you stay and listen, and when you heard your name spilling from his mouth, you knew they were talking about you and there was no way you wanted to leave now.

“We— We’re protecting her. That’s what we are doing.”

Steven was unsure, and it was clear from the way his voice wavered, but he still stood firm on what he believed in. You had no idea what Marc was telling him, and you wished you could hear what was making Steven so angry. 

“We are not telling her the truth. She would leave.” 

The words came out as a whisper, and you would have went to him to give him a hug if he did not let out a scoff, glaring at the mirror as if it was the most sickening sight he had ever laid his eyes on.

“She would leave if she knows we have been lying to her, Marc.”

At his words, something inside of you recoiled in pain. You did not know if you could listen to him any longer, but it was as if your feet was glued to the floor, and you could not leave. 

“Do you really want to tell her that we have been using her? That we have never really loved her the way she thinks we do?”

You had never experienced heartbreak before. You always wondered how terrible it must be, to let someone have a hold over your fragile heart, and to watch as they drop it on the ground, stomping it with their own bare feet. Now that Steven’s words rang in your head, you knew how painful it was. How terrifying it was. 

They did not love you the way you thought they did.

“She’s so kind to us, so loving, so perfect. We can’t tell her the truth. It would break her heart. I don’t want to hurt her, Marc.”

You had to bit the inside of your cheeks, holding back a sob that was crawling out of your tightened throat. The truth that they were lying to you, making you believe that they loved you to death was presented before you, and you wanted to scream at Steven for trying not to break your heart, when that was all he ever did. 

All these times, Steven was the one who had been hurting you in silence. You could not believe it. Never once did he forget to tell you that he loved you, and you ate up every single lie he fed you with. He was always careful with his touches, gentle with every kisses. He could never be the reason behind your tears. 

If they did not love you, then why would they pretend as if you were everything to them? 

“We need her, Marc. We would die without her.” 

The desperation in Steven’s voice was the answer you needed. They were keeping you for their own selfish reasons. Hot tears boiled in your eyes, and you felt like you were walking on a burning tightrope. They were everything to you. Everything.

A lone tear rolled down upon your face, watching as Marc took over from Steven who was close to tears. You almost let out a scoff, it was funny to see how he was the one who was betraying your trust, and yet he acted as if he was the betrayed one. He had manipulated you into believing that he was the sweetest among them, and you had fallen for it foolishly. 

“We are telling her the truth, Steven. We have to.” 

Marc was determined, as the truth was starting to haunt him in his dreams, like a shadow looming over him and trying to swallow him whole one day if he kept  on going like this— Lying and pretending to be in love with you when his heart had never been yours to keep.  

“I know you love her, Jake. But Steven and I don’t.” 

That was it. To hear it from Marc was like having him stab you in the heart, watching as it cracked and bled. A strangled sob escaped your lips, and you found yourself crying as everything came to you in a flash— Reminding you that everything they did and everything they said meant nothing to them when it meant the world to you. 

They were your whole world. 

“Y/N?”

Your sorrowful cries alerted Marc, and it ruined him when he saw you crying there, realising that you had heard everything. There was no turning back now. He had broken your heart, and you were going to hate him— Hate them. 

“I trusted you, Marc. I trusted all of you.” 

You were not screaming, and somehow Marc wished you were. Perhaps it would take the guilt off of his shoulders a bit if you showed him how furious you were. But you were holding it back, and all he could see when he looked you in the eyes was disappointment. 

“Y/N, we need you. I need you.”

He still had the audacity to tell you that he needed you when he lied to you, acting like you were the one he loved, when you meant nothing but source of comfort to him. You could not believe that you were gullible enough to let them lie to you like this. 

“You need me but you don’t want me. Is that what you’re trying to say?”

The disgust in your voice was enough to make him wince. You had never talked to him that way before. Not to him, not to Steven or Jake. You were always gentle with them, that sometimes he wondered if there was even an ounce of wrath in you. It seemed like he managed to bring it out of you, and he despised it. 

“You have never really loved me. Is that true?” 

Knowing the dreadful truth was going to kill you, but you had been living in lies for so long that you felt like you needed the truth to breathe. A piece of you wanted to strangle Marc when he let out a wistful sigh, the truth felt bitter on his tongue.

“I thought I loved you. But I didn’t.” 

He would forever be grateful of your presence in his life, that he would never lie to you about. When his wife had finally had enough, Marc thought it was the end of it, that he would never have someone who could love him like she did. But then he found you, or rather you found him— And you could love him more than she ever did. 

He wanted to feel your love and affection even if he knew there was no home for you in his heart. He could not live without you asking him if he was alright, he could not go on about his day without you sending him cute little messages throughout the day, and he could not sleep without holding you safe in his arms. 

When he realised he was not in love, it wrecked him. He wanted to be in love with you, truly he did. 

Marc knew nothing could excuse his mistake. He was greedy and selfish, loving the idea of you loving him so much that he would sacrifice your own heart for his needs. He deserved every single hatred you were going to throw on him, and he would understand. 

“You’re keeping me sane. You’re my reason, sweetheart. That’s why I lied to you, hoping that you would stay.” 

A fresh wave of tears streamed down your face, and as much as you wanted to walk away— You knew there was more. You needed to hear more from them, as they had been showering you in lies for far too long. You wanted to stop becoming the idiot in their story.

“You were planning to tell me, weren’t you?”

Marc nodded, holding back his tears as he knew he should’ve told you sooner. He was too consumed by his own selfish needs, that he disregarded the fact that you deserved to know the truth. You did not deserve to be in a loveless relationship. 

“I finally realised that you deserve to know. I can’t sleep knowing that I’m lying to the only person who sees her future with me. I can’t do that to you.”

He did not know what would happen now that the truth was revealed. Marc could already see you leaving him, and he would fall into a pit of sorrow and he would have no one to catch him. A life without you sounded so horrendous, but it was what he deserved. 

“I thought you were the one for me, Marc.”

He clenched his jaw, not wanting to break into tears in front of you. He was the one who was hurting you, and he did not want to make it seem like you were to be blamed. You always did that— Taking the blame for him when you should not. It was what keeping the fabricated relationship alive. 

“You were so distant and I thought I did something wrong. You never told me what it was, and you kept telling me that you loved me. Do you ever look at me and think of how stupid I am to be falling for your lies?”

Marc shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. He had never thought you as stupid. Every time he lied to you, he would see the way your eyes lightened up, and it was a look of nothing but love. You were so in love with him, foolishly so, but he was the stupid one. He was the one who was imprudent enough not to love you when he had the chance. 

Before he could tell you about his regrets, you saw the changes in his posture and the look in his eyes. You knew them too well to know who was fronting— Steven Grant. You used to give him your biggest smile, your warmest hug and your softest touch. But now you found yourself taking a few steps back, as if his presence was burning you. 

And Steven noticed that, of course, he did. He was not greeted with your sweet laughter or your loving hugs. Instead, he was met with you scowling at him, putting your distance with him like he was a stranger who could hurt you. It hurt him terribly but then he looked at your red and swollen eyes, realising that you were hurt, too.

“Love, please listen to me. I love you—“

“How dare you? You don’t love me, Steven. Stop lying!”

If you were not screaming before, you surely were screaming now. Frustration and anger were building up in your chest, waiting for the right time to be let out. Steven’s declaration of love was the only push you needed to show them how wretched you were. 

“Stop saying you love me when you don’t!”

He was not expecting you to yell at him. He thought if he took over from Marc, he could talk some sense into you, and perhaps he could make you stay with them. It was unwise of him to think that you would melt at the sight of him, when you already knew he was a liar. You were done being used by the man who you loved with all of your heart. 

“I love you, and it is not a lie. It’s just.. It’s just that I love her more.”

Steven said, shredding your heart into pieces, and you could feel the pain, crawling and tugging in your chest. Somehow knowing that Marc had never loved you was better than this. To hear that Steven loved somebody else, it painted your world in blue.

“I’m sorry, love. You’re perfect. You’re everything we need but—“

“But I’m not her.”

The breaking in your voice was enough to send him to tears. He did not even bother to stop himself from crying as the reality hit him hard, that you knew he was pretending to be in love with you, when his heart was hers from the start. You, the only person who could calm the storm in his head, now could not care less about him anymore. 

“Please don’t leave me.”

He begged, not caring at how pathetic he sounded, or the way Marc was scolding him in his head. He knew he did not deserve to be forgiven, and he should not asked you to stay, but he wanted you to stay with him. A piece of him still thought that he was the only person who could never hurt you, and that you were crying because of Marc and not him. 

How could he live without you? You were the comfort he needed. When you fell in love with him, he felt like the world was his. He never thought someone could love him as much as you did. You had so much love to give, and you never stopped showing him how in love you were with him. 

He saw the way you looked at Marc, and he saw the way you looked at Jake. You loved them endlessly, but Steven was convinced you loved him the most. You always gazed at him like he decorated the night skies with the brightest stars for you. He was the one for you. 

He always knew what to do and say to make you smile, and he took pride in making you happy. It was not like he was competing with Marc and Jake, but he wanted to be the one who make you the happiest in his presence. He lived to see your smile, and the sight of your tears hurt his soul, even if he was not the one who made you so distraught. 

“I love you.”

He said, once again, hoping that you would see that he could not go on with his life without you by his side. He was so used to having you with him, and he could see his downfall if you were not there to support him. His heart was hers, but he loved you, and it was always enough for you before. 

“You see her every time you’re with me, Steven. I’m everything she’s not and you want more. I’m just an understudy to you. That’s not love.”

You spat, thinking of the time when you put him on top, never once did you see him as someone who was using you for his own good. Steven tried to reach out for you, but you slapped his hand away, and that was when he knew nothing could stop you from leaving them. 

“How could you make me believe that you love me when you always think of her? Why would you do this to me, Steven?”

Your questions were left unanswered, as Steven could only shake his head, not knowing how to explain it to you. He did not know why did he do this to you, since you deserved so much more than to be with a liar. You were destined for happiness, and yet, he was robbing you from it. 

“I was being selfish.” 

The truth stung, but it had to be said, and he knew it was the answer you were looking for when you nodded weakly. Steven was known for pleasing you, worshipping the ground you walked on, loving you even on your worst days— But now you knew it was all a play pretend so he could keep you with him. 

He was pretending to love you, and nothing hurt more than being betrayed by the love of your life. 

“I hate you, Steven.”

The words rolled out of your tongue easily, that Steven flinched, shaking his head violently. No, you were not supposed to hate him. But there was no remorse in your eyes, and he knew you meant everything you said. You wanted to hurt him, and it was working. 

“Don’t— Don’t say that, love. You’re hurting me.”

Your heart would break at the sound of his devastation, but it was already shattered, hence you could only scoff at him, watching as tears spilled from his eyes. To see Steven’s crying was torturing you, but then again, he deserved to cry himself to sleep every night from now on. And he would no longer have you to wipe his tears away. 

He was not in love with you. He only loved the idea of being the good boyfriend you thought he was. The one who could make you find a way to make you laugh when you were on the verge of tears, the one who could make you smile when you were falling apart. 

In return, you loved him so much that you thanked the stars every night for letting you to be with a good man like him. 

“I wish I never fell in love with you, Steven.”

The words broke the last scaffolding holding you together, and more tears broke free with the anguish you had been keeping in. You wished you could turn back time, and maybe you could be saved from this sullen heartbreak. You shouldn’t have met Marc. You should’ve run when you still had the chance. 

The aching in your chest was growing, and you knew you had to leave. You could not bear the sight of him anymore, no matter who was fronting. Suddenly you felt so alone. The truth was like you against them. All of these times you have been the idiotic fool in their mess, letting yourself drowned by their beautiful lies. 

You were nothing but a pawn in their wicked game.

You were heading towards the door, heart heavy in your chest when he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from walking out of the door. You recognised the touch, it was not as gentle as Steven’s, but it was not as harsh as Marc’s. His touch always sent warmth rising in your chest, and it felt like your torn heart was stitching itself back together. 

“Jake, let me go.”

There was so much to say, your words died down in your throat. You wanted to lash out on him, but when you turned around to look at him, the world around you crumbled helplessly. You had never seen the man so miserable before, that it took everything in you not to give in and fall into his arms. 

“Forgive me, mi sol.” 

You were his sun. Jake felt like air was forced out of his lungs, seeing you with tears on your face, knowing that he was a part of the reasons behind every drop of them. You, who always had a bright smile on your lips, and it was replaced with a sad frown. The blinding gleam in your eyes had shimmered into glistening tears. 

He could not bear witness of the dying light in your soul. He had to save you, the way you saved him from losing himself to the darkness. 

“Was any of it real?”

Your question was like a punch to his gut. He felt weak on his knees. It was like his muscles were ripped out of his bones. The pain was nothing like he had felt before. You were doubting his love for you, when he was the one who poured his heart and soul into everything he did and said.

“Of course, it was real. I would never lie to you.”

“Never?”

Jake stiffened at how cold you sounded. He bit his tongue, knowing that he did lie to you, when he hid the fact that Marc and Steven were only using you. He lied to you when he knew they were betraying your trust. He lied to you in order to protect Marc and Steven, hurting you in the process. 

“Do you think I deserved it, Jake?”

With every word, it was intended to hurt him, and you did not even think twice as you wanted him to feel as hurt as you. Jake could only looked at you, knowing that he did this to you. He was losing the love of his life. 

“I love you so much, Jake. I love you…”

Your defeated whispers were tormenting him. It hurt him to think that he would never get to hear those words again from you, and now he was going to remember the way you said them with trembling lips and teary eyes. He was going to remember how disappointed you were with him. 

“I love you, Y/N. I swear I do.”

He said, pulling you into his arms as you let out the most heartbreaking cry he had ever heard. A great tremor overtook your body as you cried, and he let you, knowing that perhaps it could be the last time he would have the chance to hold and comfort you. He was losing you.

“Do you really love me? Please tell me the truth.”

You hated how frail you sounded, but your heart would not be able to take another lie. 

“I love you so much, princesa.”

His words were like a heavy chain, binding your soul to his. For a moment, you let yourself dream of what it would be like if it was only you and him. Perhaps you could still forgive him and let it go, but you knew it was impossible for you to forget everything when your heart was crushed mercilessly. 

“I know it’s hard for you to believe me. But I’m not lying when I say I love you.”

Jake did not know what to do to convince you that he was being truthful. Fear was suffocating him, and he started to feel lost, finding no love in your gaze on him. It was full of doubts, and he loathed it. 

“Did you know that they were using me?”

His grip around your waist loosened, and he did not need to say anything to tell you that he knew everything. He was aware that Marc only needed you to ground him, to make him feel like a person who could be loved and cared for. He saw that Steven only needed you to comfort him, when the world was far too cruel for him to endure. Jake was the missing piece of the puzzle of your heartbreak. 

“You knew, Jake. You let them hurt me.”

You hissed, getting out of his grasp as if his touch burned your skin. It tugged on his heartstrings when he realised that you were right. He claimed to love you, but then he allowed them to use you like you meant nothing to him. He said he was in love with you, but still he watched as they toyed with your feelings. 

“If I told you the truth, then you would leave us. Marc and Steven would be a mess without you. I was only protecting them.” 

He sounded like a complete jerk, saying that to you. And your next words was more painful than taking a bullet through his skull. 

“Wasn’t I worth protecting too?”

The raindrops on the window were like tears falling down your cheeks. It should bother you of how cold you were getting, but you felt like you were shivering out of anger. You wanted to scream at them, hitting them, or trashing their home, but now the sound of the rain was the only thing you could focus on. 

You did not even realise Jake was coming closer, not until you felt his lips on your head. The familiar feeling of warmth and adoration were creeping in, but they were quickly flushed down by your dejection. He did not protect your heart like he promised to. 

“I know you don’t deserve to be betrayed like this. I was scared that I would lose you. If you knew, you would leave me because you can see them when you look at me. I love you too much to live without you, mi sol.”

He was not good with words, but he needed you to hear everything he had to say, no matter how mundane it might be to you. You were important to him, and he would do anything to make you believe that he loved you. He wanted you to know that you were the only one for him. 

“My heart is yours."

You shook your head, not believing a word he said anymore. You could see regret in his eyes, but it was hard for you to think that Jake was not lying to you too. You could tell that he was dying to touch you, wanting to hold you and never let go, but he was frightened that you would push him away and it would break him. 

“I wish I could go back to a time when I believe every word you say.”

Your wounding words was like a slap to his face. Tears trickled down his face, and he did not even bother to wipe them away as he kept his eyes on you, the person who owned his heart and soul. 

“The least you could do was tell me the truth.”

He could only nod, ignoring the pain in his chest. He wished he could fix this, but he did not know how. The hurt in your eyes was enough to tell him that he had broken your heart, and you were not going to let him put it back together again. 

“The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you, mi corazón. I was wrong for lying to you.”

You would never forget how loving Jake was to you. He was a difficult man to deal with at the beginning, who did not talk much and he only glanced at you whenever he wanted to. He never cared much, but he never did anything to irritate you. He always noticed when you were uncomfortable or sad, letting Marc or Steven front so they could help you. 

When he fell in love with you, you realised he was such a passionate lover. He always put you before him in everything. You were his priority. He noticed every little things you did, giving compliments when you were not expecting him to, and even if he felt like he did not deserve your love, you finally made him believe that nothing could stop you from loving him. 

If Steven got you flowers because he felt like it was something that he should do, Jake got you flowers because you deserved to have flowers. He loved the way you would smile so big that it reached your eyes, and you would give him the best hug he had ever received in his whole life. 

Roses and lilies were more like Steven and Marc’s type of flowers to give, and at first, Jake imitated them. But then he realised it would make you happier if it was personalised and thoughtful, and so he got you sunflowers. He would remember it forever that the sunflowers matched your yellow dress, and it almost made you cry out of happiness. 

He had also stopped by at someone’s garden one day, as he accidentally saw beautiful flowers and he was immediately reminded of you. He knew he could just grab them and leave, but thinking that he was doing it for you, he knocked on the door and talked politely to the elderly woman who seemed to be more than glad to give them to him when he told her about you.

“You’re so in love with her. Are you going to marry her?”

The lady’s question crossed his mind again and again like a broken record when he was on his way home. Then he gave the flowers to you, smiling when you squealed like a little girl who got a candy. At the moment, he thought, he wanted to marry you. Yes, he wanted a life with you. 

Jake was shook from his train of thoughts, stopping himself from being haunted by the ghosts of everything that should have been but will never be. Gone were the days when he could get you flowers. Gone were the days when he could think about how happy you would be if he asks you to marry him.

“Maybe if you told me the truth, things would be different.”

The guilt. Jake could feel it seeping through his bones. But with his growing guilt and regret, came a forceful and compelling need to make it up to you, to make sure that you get the life you deserved to get. It impaired him to think that in order to let you have your happiness, he had to let you go. 

“Do you want to say goodbye to them?”

“No, I don’t want to see them ever again.”

You said, biting and bitter. Jake inhaled sharply, realising how agonising it was for you to look at him now, when you could also see Marc and Steven in him. But you did it because you loved him, and even if you did not say it, you believed that Jake truly loved you. You believed him. 

“I love you, mi sol.”

You gave him a soft smile, biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from saying it back to him. You had been hurt, and you could not let yourself fall for it again, no matter how genuine he was. You wished you could tell him how much you loved him, but it would only make things harder. 

“You’re a good man, Jake. Take care of yourself.”

And then you were gone. The future he was going to share with you vanished into the thin air. Everything was changing. You were no longer there with him, with them. You had left, and even with Marc and Steven’s voices ringing in his head, he had never felt so alone. 

He was afraid. His heart was empty and his mind was messy. He had to live without you. 

“We’re going to be okay, Jake.”

Marc was wrong. He was trying to convince Jake that everything was going to fall back into place, but deep down, he knew it was impossible. There was no way they could have a better life than the one they used to have with you. The life they shared with you was like a dream, and now they were living in a nightmare. 

They fought. A lot. It hurt them whenever they fought even at the smallest of things, because the argument would always spiral back to you. They would end up talking about you. They would reminisce the times when you were still with them. They would blame each other for your absence. 

They needed you. They wanted you. 

Marc watched you from afar. He felt like it was his obligation to make sure that you got home safe from work. If he could not walk you home at night like he used to, then the least he could do was protect you as much as he could. He would never forgive himself is something bad happened to you.

But then one day you saw him. And you had asked him to stop. He did. 

Steven wrote you love letters. It was a thing between you and him. Your love resonated with every word written on the paper, and Steven could not stop himself from writing to you like  he used to. It was his way of coping with your absence. 

He never sent the letters to you. He knew you would burn them. And so he did it himself, watching as the letters turned into ashes. 

Jake never stopped with the flowers. He left flowers on your doorstep every Monday, knowing that you were always grouchy on the particular day, and perhaps the flowers could make you smile. The first time you found the sunflowers, you immediately knew that it was from him. They went straight to the trash. 

After a few months, the flowers stopped coming. Jake knew it was hopeless.

A year passed by and they were still inconsolable.

They could only hope that you were doing fine without them. They had hurt you deeply, and they knew there was nothing they could do to make you come back. You were better off without them, but sometimes they let themselves dream of how amazing it would be if they were given another chance to love you. 

The dream faded away when they saw you that day. 

You were walking with a spring in your step, your smile was as bright as the sun that it sent a smile on Marc’s face. He missed your smile so much, and the way Steven and Jake grew quiet in his head was telling him that they were awe-struck to see you too. It had been too long. 

“She looks happy.”

Marc muttered, torn in between leaving or approaching you. As he was  busy contemplating, his eyes caught the sight of a man who was coming towards you, Instinctively, Marc thought the man was suspicious and he had ill intentions. However, he stopped dead on his tracks when you ran into the man’s arms, the smile had never fallen from your face. 

You were on a date with that man. 

They went full on detective mode after that, finding out any dubious information about him. They were worried, and mostly jealous, but their main focus was to keep you safe and happy. They should not have been flabbergasted to see that your new boyfriend’s record was clean. 

He never did anything disreputable. He owned a small company, and even if it was  still new, his pay check was definitely better than theirs. He lived a safe life, far from danger unlike them who crossed with death almost every night. He could give you a much better life than they could ever do. 

Somehow Steven managed to talk to his acquaintances, and he thought that maybe  he could prove that your boyfriend was not as good as he seemed to be. But they only talked good things about him. They told Steven about how kind and loving your boyfriend was, and that they had seen him with you a few times. His friends really believed that you were meant for each other, like soulmates— Steven had to force a smile at that. 

The second time they saw you with him at the coffee shop, Jake was fronting. He would be lying if he was not hurt, but he wanted you to be happy. He would do anything to make you happy, even if it meant sacrificing his own feelings for you. 

Before he could stop himself, he was walking towards you who was waiting for your boyfriend. You looked so pretty. A tinge of jealousy hit him, thinking of how lucky the man was to be loved by such a perfect person. 

The smell of coffee overwhelmed his senses. He could not think of what to say to you, but still, he dragged his feet towards you. He did not even realise what he was doing until he saw your smile dropped, but you quickly pulled yourself together and faked a smile. 

“What are you doing here?”

Cold. He thought that maybe after a year, you had forgiven them. He thought that maybe, just maybe, you could be friends again. 

“Are you happy?”

He asked, hating that the tone of your voice did not match the sweet smile on your lips. He recognised that it was not genuine. He had seen you smile so many times that he could tell you were trying so hard not to frown at him. 

“Please tell me. Are you happy?”

That was the only concern in his mind right now. He could not care less that you found someone else to love. You deserved every good thing in this world. You deserved to be loved. You deserved to be happy.

“I’m happy, Jake.”

This time, you gave him a genuine smile. His heart fluttered when you smiled, and he nodded. He knew your boyfriend was going to be there soon and he did not want to bother you. He had his chance, and he blew it. He was not going to ruin it for you. 

“That’s all I need to know. You deserve all the happiness in the world, cariño.”

With a bruised heart, he walked away from you, letting you go for real this time. He could hear Marc and Steven disagreeing with what he did, believing that they still had the opportunity to fix the damage they had caused to your precious heart. But Jake knew you better than they could ever do, and he knew he was doing the right thing by letting you go.

Despite of his acceptance, Jake was still fuming with resentment. He loved you, and now he had lost you because of Marc and Steven. For a year, he had been holding back, not wanting to blame his alters no matter how much he wanted to. But now that he saw another man was making you happy, the way he did before if not more, he was letting it all out. 

“Both of you ruined our life. You made her leave. You did this to us.”

Jake let his heart be blinded by love, and his mind be clouded by rage. Nothing they say could change his mind as he was getting out of control. You made him realise that he had a heart, but now you had taken it along with you, leaving his chest with a void that only you could fill.  His anger sunk deeper, gripping like claws, embedding so deep that he doubted the scars would ever heal. 

He had let Marc and Steven decide for him for far too long now, ending up destroying the only good thing he had to hold on to. The only person he had his eyes on. The only love he wanted to have. Not anymore. 

It was his turn to orchestrate their life now, and he chose guns and blood, the way it was before you.  Needless to say, Marc and Steven were not going to get the body in a very, very long time. 

.•° ✿ °•. .•° ✿ °•. .•° ✿ °•.

taglist for glimpse of us part two: @brekkers-desigirl @whosethatgurlitsjess @golddustswoman @aestheticpisces @suchahautemess @spicydonut25 @jupitersmoon167 @lana-isabelle @rosaren2498 @n0ripeaches @unspokenmoon @mccn-bcys @rmoonstoner @guiltofpleasures @bxmxtx @timeless-crow @harrys-tittie @enter-clever-and-witty-url-here @outlawedmando @ahoytherebean @rellasnowheenim @pascalsism @lovelyladymayyy @galeroseb @nixonvandelheim @itsmadamehydra @zelspktr @pri00r @ninebluehearts @in-between-the-cafes @carlanee2000 @dyxshit @hypnoinstaxartcloud @kestrel2001 @iamlost @constanza1000 @manicchii @urforevermore @strangespinapple @justyourwritter69 @killerninjaapanda @justyourlocals1mp @alexisabirdie @llvcy @8hgel @lluckpng @imhereforoscarisaac @glimpseoff @lovely-pineapples @jade-sucker-for-steven @memoirsofxangel @noodle81937 @snacswell @potatodaddy @justsumtuffstuff

i tagged the people who commented on the previous part. please message me if you want to be removed. thanks!

#steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley #steven grant #marc spector #moon knight #moon knight x reader

[star-vibing-prompts]

☆Some random ass prompts☆

Feel free to change the pronouns and stuff! Feel free to credit me or something, I don't really care???? Just make sure to claim them as your own.

Also maybe '@' me if you use these! I wanna see what y'all do!<3

"Who said you can have her? If you want her, you'll have to go through me!" "...disappointing but fine."

A is pregnant and B is dead. How is B dead? Who knows? However A is stressed and is still grieving for B. How does the child birth go? Who knows? All up to you.

B invites A to a midnight dinner to discuss some important matters and just what are these important matters that got A all horrified and shocked?

"Hmm...I guess it could work, but will it really?" "I don't know, I'm just going with my gut here." ".....we're all gonna die....."

"I will bite you!" "Oh fuck you!" "...the sexual tension between those two is unreal holy fuck.."

"Hey mama? What's papa doing?" "Your father is being stupid but at this point, I'm used to it." "Is that how you guys met? Him being silly?" "Haha, yes little one. Indeed so."

A is a bit chaotically unhinged and B is a tired workaholic that wants A to calm down for a second so B can confess their feelings to A.

A and B are dating and are planning on getting married very soon, however, C has been feeling very lonely since the two first started dated so they want to join in on the relationship but aren't sure how to bring it up to the two without sounding creepy or awkward or desperate.

C and B are snuggling and A joins in on the snuggling session. Poly ships go brrr!!!

^^^ "Who knew A can be this affectionate when snuggling, huh?" "Haha yeah." "I can hear you y'know? So shut up and let me enjoy this."

Smut prompts! (Read at your own risk)

"Mmm..that's it baby~ just moan for me and me only~"

"Aww~ you're so cute. Do you want your daddy to give you a reward for being such a good girl?~"

"Me. You. Bed. Now."

"Oh? You like it when I bite? Why didn't you say so sooner?"

A is horny as fuck and is usually the dominant one in the relationship but tonight B is horny as fuck and decides to show A how much of a dominant person they really can be.

^^^ A is so into that shit.

B wants to spend quality type with A privately but A is always at work so when they finally have a day off, B had decorated the room to "set the mood". Does A like it or not? All up to you.

B's boss comes to visit B and A, however, he ends up flirting with A while B is fuming with jealousy. However, B easily scoops A and starts aggressively making out with A to prove and show B's boss that A belongs to them only.

"I will fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk for a few months! Understand?" "Mm kinky. Why not do it right here and now then babe?~"

"What the fuck are you?" "I'm a sex worker." "..oh-" "Got a problem with that?" "No...but can you fuck me?" "Heh, if that's what you want~"

Yandere prompts!

"You belong to me only darling!"

A shy innocent looking yandere x A tired asf college student

"Aww,,you're so cute and gorgeous when you are all dolled up like this! What's the occasion? You aren't going with that BITCH are you?"

"I love you! I love you! I love you! Wait- hold on- why aren't you saying it back? You do love me back right?" "O- Of course! I lo- I love you too." "Yay! But why are you crying? Who hurt you?!"

A emotionless yandere x A bright sunshine

A is a yandere and practically forced B into a relationship with them by using their secrets and loved ones against them. B is absolutely fucking miserable and probably beyond broken and saving (emotionally wise)

A werewolf yandere x A vampire

"Whoever said you can't leave? You can leave but all you gotta do is tell me where you're going on what day and at what time! Okay love?"

"No! You must stay with me! It's the only way that I can be truly happy! Please! I'm begging you! I love--no--I - I must love you!"

"I promise I'll always be with you but...you gave me no choice, I had to. I had to protect you from him. I'm sorry my love."

#otp prompts #fluff prompts #vibe prompts #star prompts #random prompts #prompt batch 1 #enemies to lovers prompts #angst prompts #smut prompts #polyamourous #poly prompts #imagine your otp #yandere prompts #original character #original prompts

[heartofjasmina]

I’ve been binge-reading your gardener!reader x bakugou fics and I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!

which is why I hate to do this to you

Situation in which there’s a high-scale villain attack and reader’s home and garden gets destroyed (along with most of the neighborhood and city) BUT reader doesn’t know yet because they were knocked out and injured during the attack and bakugou was able to save them and pull them out of the house but couldn’t save reader’s garden and so he blames himself for that and for you being in the hospital and doesn’t know how to break the news that your home and garden (and pictures of your mom) are gone!!!

Also if he isn’t pacing the hospital floor waiting for you to wake up, he’s out searching for Artemis and trying to salvage anything from your garden to bring to you (specifically any type of flower seedling or picture)

nonnie.... how dare you make me want to write angst. but thank you!! I'm in love with this pairing and am always looking for excuses to write more about it. hope you like this!!

::

Katsuki's blood ran cold when he heard the neighborhood they were being called to. Please be alright, please be alright.

It was a chant, a prayer that you were safe and sound with Artemis and your garden and your beautiful home. But when they arrived, him first- blasting through the skys as fast as he could- your house was a mess of rubble and smoke. He tore through the concrete with his heart in his throat. He didn't want to be in a world without you, and that's all he could think as he searched for you.

By the time he found you he was in tears, and seeing your beautiful face bruised and scraped dragged a sob out of his chest. He cradled you against him and let out a desperate cry that sounded like it belonged to someone else.

"We're over here, HELP US!!!"

::

As soon as he had you set up in the hospital he returned to your house, guilt keeping his heart in a vice as he saw the true scope of the damage. The villain had destroyed half the city in her rampage. And your garden, that you had painstakingly tended to for more than a decade, was torn to pieces. The photos on the toppled walls were cracked as he collected the ones of your mother. Its the least he could do after not protecting you.

"Some hero you are, Katsuki," he grumbled to himself, looking around for any sign of life in your garden.

He called for Artemis, gathered more momentos from your house, and waited anxiously for a call from the hospital.

When it finally came, he froze.

What could he say to you? Would you even want to see him after he failed you so horribly?

::

You woke in a white room, with pain everywhere. But your first thought was of him.

"Ka.." you tried your best to speak only to find your throat rough as gravel.

"Don't try to speak, ma'am." There was a bright voice beside you, and as you focused your gaze you realized that pro hero Deku was at your bedside. You frowned as you looked at him, your brain slowly coming to the conclusion,

that was wrong.

"He's here. He just... doesn't know if you want to see him. I'm sorry to say your house was destroyed in the villain attack, and he wanted me to tell you that your garden was also destroyed." Deku spoke on behalf of his friend as best as he could, but all you wanted in that moment, needed, was Katsuki.

"Please." It was all you could get out, but Deku understood right away.

"I'll go get him."

::

Katsuki paced outside your hospital room, barking orders to his subordinates through the phone, "Her name is Artemis, she's a calico. She should be in the neighborhood. I don't give a fuck what you do, find her."

"She's asking for you." Deku murmured casually, watching Katsuki immediately hang up the phone and fall silent.

"She shouldn't be." He muttered, self loathing evident in every word.

"Who are you to make that decision for her?" Deku frowned, with Kacchan he never pulled his punches and it was for a reason. Sometimes the only one who could make Katsuki see reason was someone willing to call him on his bullshit.

"I wasn't there! For fucks sake Deku I wasn't there the one time she needed me." Katsuki's words were distraught, and he refused to meet his friends eyes.

"She needs you now." Deku rested his large hand on his friends shoulder, giving it an encouraging squeeze. "Be her hero, Kacchan. That's what she needs."

#katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #domesticness <3 #gardener!reader #gardening au #jasmina writes 🌸 #kacchan

[yaut-jaknowit]

Hi there! I wanted to say that I love your work and I’m really enjoying seeing all the good shit you put out! Tbh me and my twin have been eating up the story with We’ar-ow! We’ve sorta created our own character to fit in as the reader, and we chat about each update after you post them! It’s a fun little book club in a way! If you ever end up publishing any books, be sure to tell! I love your writing style it’s so distinct and enjoyable!

Also! I wonder how yautja would react to a real short s/o (imma dude and being 5’2 sucks a lot, my mom had to fuck a short king sigh) I had to grab something next to my couch that’s only 2 feet off the ground and I almost flipped my body over reaching. I can’t even wrap my arms around my knees when sitting either

I am able to reach a lot of small things hidden around my house, and I’m really good at anything small with my hands like sewing- tbh that’s the only upside

also quick yautja question- do you think they’re able to produce twins or triplets? Mostly asking cuz I’m one! :p

also I’m so thankful for you writing for readers who aren’t female! it really warms my heart <3 sometimes it can hard to find non female readers and x male readers help with my dysphoria

Short King

Pairing: Uihoy (Male Yautja) x Mas!Reader

Word Count: 692

Summary: After the countless times you've fallen off of places or even found yourself somewhere you're not suppose to be, your wonderful mates have gotten you a step stool. Uihoy understands the frustrations himself. But he doesn't want you getting hurt.

Author Note: I'm so thankful and love this message so much. And the fact you chat about my writings?! Seeing this message for the first had me squealing and kicking my feet like a school girl. I hope one day I'll publish books but for now, I stick to writing fanfics about being dicked down by aliens.

P.s. Gonna be honest, I never knew how many AMABs liked Yautjas. I'm used to fangirls since I'm one myself. But I'm happy to help fill in the hole for the lack of AMAB writtens

Masterlist

Ao3

Knowing some Yautjas out there, they have a size kink. So you being much smaller than them goes burr for them.

They can also wrap themselves around you easier. It makes for the best cuddling sessions because they can probably almost encase you completely. That way, they can protect you better!

They also wouldn’t treat too much different either. They might ensure your items are closer to the ground so you don’t have to climb as much to reach them.

A step stool around either their ship or hut on Yautja Prime is necessary. They wouldn’t want you to go without it either. Less climbing means less danger for you! Safe on the ground floor where you can’t bust your head open.

After one close call with a fall, your mate wouldn’t want you to even think about getting on the damned counters again. So, he got you a step stool.

Once in awhile, you’ll see him use it too. Don’t let him know or say a damn word about it.

Plus, imagine those with the size difference kink. You desperately trying to reach something too far above you. They come up behind you, squishing your body to either the counter or wall. That day ended up differently than you originally thought.

Seeing the way your hand barely fits in their palm. They’re purring up a storm and holding you close.

As for the twins and triplets: yes, it is possible but a very rare occurrence. With their head structure, it’s already hard to push out one. It also puts a huge strain on their bodies. Some go through with the pregnancy if they believe they can endure the journey. Others don’t to save them either the downfall of an unnecessary death of themselves or their children.

I believe in some cultures of the Yautja, it’s celebrated if a female produces more than one offspring and survived. It is a feat that many don’t endure or survive.

Hands encased your hips and pinned you to the counter. A heavy body draped acrossed your back. Hot air caressed the shell of your ear. “What does little hunter think gonna do?” a grumbly voice spoke, slightly scolding you for what might have been a dangerous action. At least in those bright orange eyes of his.

Your entire body jumped at the sudden feel before relaxing, head titling to the side. Uihoy’s profile met your gaze. “I have no idea what you mean,” you brushed off. “I’m just trying to grab a bowl.” That was only thing that was the second shelf they hadn’t moved yet. You best believe it will be after today.

Uihoy snorted then reached above you and grabbed hold of the item you were attempting to take. It was placed before you on the counter in front of you.

The hand left on your hip drifted up to clasp hold of your throat. A finger was used to tilt your head back. Uihoy leaned over you to look you in the eye. “Next time, use the stool,” he scolded and pinched the column of your throat in warning.

Your shoulders sagged, eyes rolling with attitude. “But Uie! I was fine. Three feet off the ground ain’t gonna kill me,” you complained and leaned your weight against the short Yautja. His body barely even wavered at the added weight.

“No, but Uihoy might if little hunter doesn’t listen.” There was no bite in his words. You groaned.

His hold on you slipped away. He took a step away from you. You snatched the bowl off of the counter in front of you and marched over to the refrigerator-like device in the wall.

As you pulled out the stew made yesterday to consume as a mid-day lunch, you narrowed your eyes on Uihoy. The Yautja still stood in the kitchen, leaning against the island. With a spoon, you pointed it at him, non-threatening. “You’re lucky I love you enough I won’t smack you for calling me short,” you pouted and poured some of the stew to fill half the bowl.

A disgruntled grunt sounded from the elder. “My heart is yours, little one.”

#yautja #predator #yautja x reader #yautja x you #alien vs predator #predator x reader #yautja x human #predator x you #predator x human #x reader #uihoy

[acutemushroom]

My opinion on some Hatchetfield ships

The title says it all, these are my opinions on Hatchetfield ships that nobody asked for ! 😅 More seriously. I first want to make it clear that these are my personnel thoughts on them and that you are free to like those you like and think what you want on them. I also want to get out of the way the fact that I have a bias for canon ships. So yeah, I'm generally a bit less into the ships involving a character in a canon ship and another.

Now, to the ships !

PAULKINS (Paul Matthews x Emma Perkins)

The one, the only, the original, the OG, the Paulkins ! I quite like them. A boring but also brave office worker and his crabby barista with survival skills. They're cute together, how can I not like them ? Though, I admit I prefer them in angst fics and don't really read Paulkins fluff. Part of it is because I love to see the character I like suffer. But also because of how they got together in the first place. In an apocalypse, a dire situation filled with stress. Paul who was constantly protecting her and fighting a literal God's control to try to save her. Emma who we discover a softer side to because of her relationship with Paul. I think they work best in desperate situation than in pure fluff. But that's just me though.

PAULKOTHO (Paul Matthews x Pokotho)

They are my roman empire. I've already talked in length about them. I've wrote fics in which I explored my view on their relationship, even if they weren't the only focus. I have others staring them planned. I fucking adore them. A relentless, controlling, uncompromising God and his absolutely unwilling and resisting prophet. I love them more than is probably healthy.

ROASTED CHAI COFFEE (Paul Matthews x Ted Spankoffski)

I am mostly neutral about them. Not my cup of coffee, but I see their appeal. Though, I can see it happening in a context where they both know for the cosmic horrors ruling Hatchetfield, that there are Gods interested in them both. But without being under Pokey and Tinky's clutches either. They just have to deal and cope together with the knowledge of what happened to them in other timelines.

Paul Matthews x Bill Woodward

Not a ship I go out of my way to read, but one that I am quite fond off. I especially love the interpretation of it where Bill divorced when Alice was still young and Paul was there for him. A solid friendship that evolved into something more. It's a really cute ship and one I can definitely see happen in different timelines.

TIME BASTARDS (Ted Spankoffski x T'noy Karaxis)

"That's a ship ?" was my first reaction upon stumbling on them for the first them. But I definitely see it's appeal and it absolutely grew on me. That Tinky loves his Spankoffskis is not a secret. So, him taking human form in at least one timelines and reaching another level with Ted ? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Ted Spankoffski x Charlotte Sweetley

Again, not a ship I'll necessarily go out of my way to search for but that I am quite fond off. It's clear they care about each other. I love to see it in timelines where Charlotte leave Sam. She makes Ted less off a bastard. He makes her more confident in herself. That's how I see it.

LEXTAN (Lex Foster x Ethan Green)

Yes. They care so much for each other and it breaks my hurt that they'll never be able to go to California together. Ethan is Lex safe heaven and he cares so much for her. He also care so much for Hannah to the point of considering her like his kid. He put himself in danger, and once died, just to protect them. Lex left Hatchefield with Hannah in an attempt to protect him. I just want them to succeed, alright.

TOCKY/BARNSTON (Tom Houston x Becky Barns)

Highschool sweetheart that found each other again, good person wrong moment. They're cute. Again, not a ship I am particularly passionate about, but I do like stumbling upon them from time to time. After what they went through, it is nice to see them being in love with someone again.

Wilbur Cross/Uncle Wiley x Wiggog Y'rath

Another flavor of human and Eldricht abomination ship that I quite like a lot ! They have this big tsundere side to them, at least how I see it, but they're also the embodiment of "assholes in love". I do love a villain power couple.

LAUTSKI (Stephanie Lauter and Peter Spankoffski)

I love these two. She's protective of her nerd and he's so supportive of her. They were both ready to sacrifice themselves for the other and during The Summoning Pete was trying to shield her from a literal God. I love them.

Stephanie Lauter x Grace Chasity

I could swear I remember their ship name... Not one I shipped at first, but they are starting slowly starting to grow on me. I have no particular reasoning as to why, it's really just because of fanfics I've stumbled upon. I like this ship in angsty fic dealing with the aftermath of Nerdy Prudes Must Die (show). I don't know, I like hurt/confort and they provide hurt/confort.

JAGERTITTY (Max Jagerman x Grace Chasity)

That ship name will never fail to make me laugh... I am generally not really found of the whole jock x nice/nerd girl dynamic but they do strike a chord in my heart. Max is so whipped it's adorable. And he's making her reconsider her basically everything. I love them. I would love see them change the other for the better as much as I'd love see them kill people together. I'd read as much fluff as I'd read angst of them. A heavenly good match made in Hell. I love them.

MICHIE (Max Jagerman x Richie Lipschitz)

I will be burned on the public place for this, but I don't ship them. I am really not a fan of jock x nerd like said above and they don't have the same unhingedness that makes me like Jagertity. I don't hate Michie. I can see why the ship is so popular. It simply not for me. Sorry. Though, great respect to you all for making like, a third of the NPMD fics !

Peter Spankoffski x Richie Lipshitz

Two bros being in love. Didn't have the chance to stumble upon them on Ao3, mostly just some stuff here and there on Tumblr. But I do like them. After all, aren't the best romantic relationship also really great friendship?

THE NERDS or THE NERDY PRUDES ( Ruth, Richie and Pete or Ruth, Richie, Pete, Stephanie and Grace)

What I am going to say apply to both. Haven't really read or seen anything on them. But I absolutely love the idea !

#personal opinion #hatchetverse #ships #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday #nerdy prudes must die #now i have to tag all these characters and ships... #paul matthews #emma perkins #paulkins #pokotho #pokey #paulkotho #ted spankoffski #charlotte sweetly #bill woodward #t'noy karaxis #tinky #lex foster #ethan green #lexthan #tom houston #becky barns #wiggog y'wrath #wiggly #wilbur cross #uncle wiley #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #lautski

[bokettochild]

if you want to pair wind with someone in "you weren't supposed to get hurt" how about complete the war trio pairings and give him and time some bonding. you have one of wars and time and wind and wars bonding so why not complete the trio?

Consider it done! No, like, actually consider it done, because I finally did do it T-T

Since you asked for me to complete the War Trio, it is Mask and not Time, but minor details, yeah? It's the same person in the long run.

Rating: General

Wordcount: 4,905

Summary: Tired of the new intruder, Mask turns to desperate measures to reclaim his personal space from the other so called hero that Link's become so taken with. Things do not go as planned. Or...well, sort of?

-

  He didn’t ask for this. 

  No, seriously, Mask had never asked for this situation to ever come about. He's sort of given up asking anyone for anything at this point. The goddesses didn’t answer when he wanted to go back, to live the life he had finally begun to grow into, to see the kingdom he had saved and all the friends he had made and the world that was familiar even if it was damaged. No one listened to his wishes when he wanted to go home, only to find that the forest will no longer welcome even his child form. He’s tried; he can’t find the grove, or his siblings, or anything of his old life. Navi didn’t listen when he asked her to come back, and whatever powers existed in Termina didn’t listen when he begged for just one day to rest, or a bit of help, or really any bit of aid that didn’t cost him something. 

  Help doesn’t come for the asking. People only do things for you if they can get something out of it. Life is transactional, and for that reason alone at least, he finds he can respect the strange bunny merchant who’s joined their camp. At least Ravio makes no secret of what he wants, and unlike people who dance around the subject or expect him to know, Ravio states his terms point blank. 

  Link does not.  

  The captain is hard to read, hard to understand. He’s the hero, so maybe he can give without getting and maybe he can serve without reward, but that only counts when it’s for the kingdom. No one asked him to reach out to the displaced figures transported through time, to try and befriend them and make them feel at home. There’s no advantage to him doing so, no payout, and it just doesn’t track. Still, Captain Link tries, and he’s succeeding too. Even despite all attempts to keep the man out, he’s somehow made it past Mask’s defenses with that warm smile and the twisting of his own mother tongue.  

  Maybe it’s the spark of familiarity in those blue eyes. They glitter and gleam like Navi did, and the fae-speak that this mortal hylian man can somehow understand and respond in, scolding and commanding, but also assuring and offering warmth, makes him feel almost at home. Maybe it’s the magic though. He doesn’t think Captain Link knows, but he can feel the tendrils of warmth and strength, a protective magic that weaves over camp as the captain walks and inspects; not unlike a spider spinning a web. It’s different from the Deku Tree’s magic, but similar too. The signature of the setter is the only real change, and the warmth and security of at last being able to bask in that web of safety maybe is the reason he lowers his guard.  

  That’s how the man got in, lulling him into safety and familiarity, a whisper of those lost in that perfect smile, and then Mask was trapped. 

  Love is a dangerous thing, but somehow this man has managed to get ahold of his heart anyways, and he’s holding onto it with such warmth and kindness, protecting it so carefully, that there’s really nothing the once-again-child hero can do, only surrender and accept his defeat. 

  He didn’t ask for Captain Link to adopt him, but he never opposed it either. 

  Maybe he would have, but the man had sat him down and explained that the reason wasn’t because they found him incapable, and that it was still very much his own choice, but that without an assigned guardian who would take charge of keeping an eye on them, all children displaced across time would be sent to the countryside to stay on farms, out of the way of the danger, at least until the war was over. If he wanted to stay, he had to agree to let an adult become his guardian, and Link had offered his own services for his consideration. 

  Saying ‘no’ wasn’t really an option. If he wanted to help, he needed to say ‘yes’. Besides, maybe having some tangible proof that someone wanted him around, was tied to him in some way, was nice. It wasn't a Claim like fairy’s laid, but in the way of Hylians, it was really somewhat similar. He became Link’s son, and while the captain never pressured him to see it that way, there’s a small part of him that finds pride in that. 

  Now if only Link hadn’t done the same thing for the blasted sailor. 

  Link has a soft spot for kids, and that much is clear. He’s accepted that Mask is older in mind than body, but it’s clear that the child-like appearance does get the better of the man and make him forget at times, and it shows. Also, busy as he is, Link always makes time for all their youngest members of camp, making sure they are handling the events around them well. He’s had help, of course, since Marin and Ravio both make an effort to check in on everyone for him at times, and the island girl in particular is very good at handling them all, including him. Mask blames that weakness on the fact that she looks a little like Malon did when they were adults. 

  Even with all his duties though, it’s clear the captain finds solace in the presence of children, and privately, Mask does think that, maybe once the war is over, Link should settle down and start a family. For now, he doesn’t mind that the man who adopted him likes to be around the actual kids in the camp, letting Agatha talk his ears off about insects and entertaining Skull-kid's games and tricks.  No, in a way, he finds it cute how much Link cares about them. 

  The problem is the sailors. Tetra isn’t so bad; she’s fun and clever and good at what she does. Impa’s taken charge of keeping an eye on her, for reasons that she won’t explain, so there’s no worry about Link trying to take her in. Her hero companion is a different story though. 

  Because Link is the one everyone calls when there’s a newly dropped outsider discovered, he’d been there when they’d found the sailor folk. Because the captain has a bleeding heart, he’d immediately offered a place to stay in his own tent for the younger hero, which is all well and good to start with, because Link is nothing if not hospitable. No, the problem isn’t that Link had invited Tune, it’s that Tune doesn’t go away. 

  What, for a short time, had been his and Link’s space, suddenly has another person in it. Where Link is content to sit quietly and work at their respective tasks, Tune chatters. Where Link will, at the least, humor him about being an adult, Tune flat out doesn’t believe him. Everything he’s just begun to get used to is suddenly changing! He can’t lower his guard anymore, and if he wants to cuddle up to the man who’s legally his father, he can’t without someone seeing and taking it as proof that he’s a child, or that he’s soft or weak or some other offensive presumption.  Worse than that though, is that Link treats Tune with the same warmth and kindness that he does Mask, and try as he might to deny it, it’s become increasingly clear that he can’t stand that. 

  So yeah, Mask is jealous. 

  He doesn’t like to admit it, but he is, and he doesn’t like that Tune tromps all over everything he was just making for himself and pushes himself into the space that had finally started to feel like home. His relationship with Link is a treasure, and Tune is trying to be part of it, and Link is just letting him! Link took him in, took guardianship over him and now he says that that makes the two of them brothers. 

  Mask has had brothers before. He doesn’t want new ones. He’s still getting over not ever getting to see the ones he used to have ever again, still getting used to the idea that maybe in their own way, they’d actually felt something for him, despite all the bullying and mockery. He doesn’t want another older brother, one who doesn’t believe him about anything he says and who, worse yet, Link looks at with respect. 

  There's no shortage of warmth and fondness in Link’s eyes when they turn on him, but when turned on Tune, there’s suddenly some sense of equality, of respect. Tune offers advice and Link takes it, Tune offers help and Link accepts, Tune tells Link to put his things down and rest for a bit and Link does. Mask doesn't have advice or suggestions or really any concept of how to help the man who’s taken him in besides killing monsters. He can’t do anything or give anything back to the person who’s giving him everything, and here Tune shows up and shows him up! Giving and giving and giving and making Mask look like some pathetic mooch! Well, no more! He doesn’t want to have the other around, so maybe it’s time to let that on! 

  The insults and fighting just stress Link out and saying point blank that he doesn’t want the other boy in their tent just makes the captain sigh and sit them down and explain things and beg them to just try and co-exist. The number of times he’s said that he ‘isn’t asking them to be friends, but just to please get along, or just ignore each other’, is getting ridiculous. Yet, every time, Tune nods and smiles and, like the goody two shoes he is, promises to do his best, apologizing for stressing Link out. 

  He’s such a suck up, honestly! Mask can’t stand it! 

  So, instead of involving Link, instead of letting the hylians handle things their way, Mask is going to take the fairy approach to getting this kid out of his space.  

  It’s not hard to figure out. Skullkid, like always, is down for a bit of mischief, and the fairies he presents with his situation agree to be of aid in any way they can. It won’t affect anybody else. He’d had to steal something out Tune’s bag so that the fairies could get a handle on his magical signature, but that’d been easy enough, and the fairies were well willing to help once he’d bribed them with sugar that he’d snitched from the mess tent.  

  Now though, he can walk back to the tent knowing that no matter what Tune does, he’ll get lost trying to find it. It’s the same magic from the woods, less strong, since it’s not done by the Deku Tree, but it’s only supposed to work on one person anyways, so it doesn’t need to be that strong, just strong enough to make sure Tune can’t get back in. Except, much to his disappointment, the only result is that the older boy just follows Link around instead! So, when it’s late, he only has to keep an eye on the captain, and thus is still there, every night, humming and talking as dinner is made and eaten, and even afterwards sometimes. Gone is the silence they used to share, filled instead with the voice of the ‘brother’ he never asked for. 

  So, he tries again. He asks the fairies, he asks Midna, he even tries talking to Ravio to ask him if maybe, somehow, there’s something in the merchant’s wares that could fend off unwanted persons from someone’s space. 

  “Bees,” the merchant responds, sighing. “Wards and runes too, but those are tricky to lay if you’re not practiced, and unfortunately, I’m not. Mister Hero keeps bees though, and nothing and no one can get at his home without first having to get through them.” There’s a shiver that follows those words, a full body one that makes the rabbit ears of the hood bounce and sway. “Awful, horrid little devils they are!” 

  Were they in the woods, he’d start gathering hives and fostering bees all around the area, or at least try and learn how. They’re not in the woods though, and Captain Link likely won’t appreciate having a hive anywhere near his tent. Midna suggested getting a dog, but when he’d explained why he wanted it, she’d told him she couldn’t help any further. 

  “I don’t want any part in a sibling tiff,” she’d declared, and he hadn’t had time to explain that they weren’t siblings before she’d flickered off to another part of camp, most likely to pester Marin. 

  So, he tries again, and again, and tries everything he can think of, but even with all that he’s still left with an unwanted presence in their tent and evenings that are too loud and food too spicy. He wants Tune gone; not dead, that wouldn’t be right, but out of his hair and his space and away from himself and Link would be nice. Why, oh why couldn’t someone else have taken in the other supposed hero? But no, Link and his bleeding heart just had to take him, and now Mask suffers the consequences of it! 

  Well, no longer! Because Skullkid has a solution! 

  “A trap!”   

  “A trap?” He’s fond of the kid, very much so, but he’s not sure how smart the guy is. “Buddy, I’ve tried that.” 

  “You tried a magic trap,” Skullkid corrects, giggling, “but magic only works on magic. You’re working like a fairy against a hylian! You need to use hylian skills to stop a hylian!” 

  “Explain...” 

  “Hylians are bad at magic, very dumb sometimes.” The hat of the skullkid bobs with a knowing nod as he speaks, smile conspiratory. “He doesn’t know you’re trying to get rid of him. You need to leave no question about it! Trap him, then, after some time, come get him out! You can tell him he owes you for rescuing him, or that you set it, but you can trap him and make him realize he’s not so great!” 

  Technically, there are so many ways in which it wouldn’t work, but he’s already tried so much, so it’s worth a shot. Skullkid is willing to help with the rigging of it too, with just enough magic to stop the thing going off on anyone else, and employing the spell already on the tent. The older boy will end up at the back rather than the front, and when he does, he’ll fall into a rather deep hole that is spelled so no one will hear him until Mask or Skullkid come to see how he’s doing. It’s no harm done, just a quick scare and a moment to really drive home that staying in their tent is really not worth all the trouble he has to go through to do so. 

  For the first time in a long time that night, he manages to get Link to himself for a bit. Just quiet, dinner, no chatter, no spicy food, no blabbering and humming hero boy who doesn’t respect his space. 

  And then Link starts to worry. “Where’s Tune?” 

  He shrugs. “With Marin? They hang out a lot.” It’s not a lie. “Maybe he’s staying with her instead.” 

  Link shakes his head, face creasing up in a frown. “No, no, he would have told me.” With that, the man moves to stand, already grabbing for his sword and shield, things he never lets out of reach even when sleeping. “I’m going to go look for him. Stay here, in case he comes back on his own.” 

  Because Link is too tired to have realized the presence of the spell that keeps his other charge from being able to find the tent. He just thinks Tune follows him around, and he’s not all wrong either. Honestly, that’s probably one of the worst ways that plan had backfired, since it meant those two spent more time around each other. But no more!  

  The moment Link is out of the tent and out of sight, all smiles for his men even if his brow is tense, Mask is darting out and around the back, headed towards their trap. 

  Sure enough, Tune is inside. Dirty, tears on his face and cradling an arm that even past his green tunic, Mask can see is horrbly swollen. 

  “Shit.” 

  “Language,” the older answers, as if on reflex, before starting and staring up at him. “Wait, Mask?” 

  He wanted to smirk here, to crow a little at the stupidity it would take to get here, but Tune looks so pathetic, and pained. He’s not supposed to look pained. “Yeah...” 

  “Oh thank the seven!” Blue-green eyes dart skywards. “Someone set a trap by the captain’s tent! I’ve been calling for hours now, but no one’s come!” There’s a hardness in those eyes, a set to the jaw and brows that echoes the captain’s but a moment ago. “I’m glad Link wasn't the one to find it, but we need to tell him about this! If someone’s setting traps in camp, everyone is at risk!” 

  Something in his stomach curls and twists uncomfortably as he looks down at that determined face, streaked with tears and mud, yet still, the other boy is focused more on the men, the captain, and everything other than himself. He’s not even realized this was for him. Worse still- 

  “You’re hurt.” 

  A wince follows the words, although it tries desperately to be a smile. “Yeah. I think I broke my arm when I fell. Where’s Link?” 

  “Looking for you.”  

  He broke his arm. He got hurt. That wasn't part of the plan! He was supposed to get upset, but not...not... Mask’s not sure what he wants here, but this isn’t it. He got Tune hurt. Not just scared, not just lost, not just feeling stupid, but really actually hurt! 

  The sailor groans. “We have to tell him about this.” 

  “Do we?” 

  “Yes?” Like it’s a no brainer, like it’s obvious. “Someone set a trap in camp, Mask. One by his tent! That’s kind of a big deal!” 

  He knows that, but he doesn’t say it. He didn’t want Link involved though, and now Tune will pull him in and there will be a ruckus, because no one would guess that it was the sailor who was the target. Tune isn’t anyone worth targeting, not when Link is right there! 

  “But what if it wasn’t for him?” 

  “Who the-” and he cuts himself off, because Tune sees him like a child, treats him like a child, and refuses to swear in front of him, even though he knows perfectly well that the sailor’s got a mouth filthier than his own. Not for any lack of trying on his part, but Navi never let him stick around when people were using foul language, and he’d never gotten the chance to learn many words. Not in Hylian anyway. “Who would it be for then?” Because he knows too, he knows they aren’t good targets. Mask can’t tell him the truth though.  

  “Someone else?” It sounds desperate, een despite all effort to not. 

  “Who else-” and he sees something flicker, like lightning almost, in those sea storm eyes. “Did you do this?” 

  The accusation stings, but it’s also a sharp blade of truth, and it breaks the dam he didn’t even know was building up. “You weren’t supposed to get hurt!! I just...I- You- I don’t want you around!” 

  A slow blink, a heavy, deep, dangerous breath, like a dragon about to breath fire, but no flames, no words, emerge. Tune just stares, eyes stormy and cheeks red and shoulders stiff, and Mask feels himself beginning to cower just slightly as guilt mixes with the anger stirring up inside him. 

  He feels the need to explain himself, yet also the wish to shout and scream and rage at the intruder who disturbed the life that was finally beginning to settle. He’s not sure what exactly he’s feeling most, but it’s making his heart pound and hands sweat as he stands over the hold in the ground and the hero inside. It twists inside as he watches Tune watch him with dangerous eyes, all while cradling his broken arm. The words don’t come. The words won’t come, and he can’t decide whether he wants them too or not, just finds himself staring as Tune breathes, heavy and harsh for a while before finally mustering himself, forcibly calm, and turning sea-green eyes up towards him again. 

 “You set a trap.” 

  He doesn’t answer. 

  Tune doesn't wait for one. “For me. You tried to trap me, and leave me here for, what? An hour, a couple?” 

  He clenches his hands into fists, heart racing and face twisting up in the same way his stomach does; painful and confusing. 

  “Why?” The sailor blinks up at him. “What on earth did I do?” 

  You took from me, he wants to say. You took away my safe space, you made it yours. You broke what I found and made it what you wanted. You shoved yourself in where you didn’t belong and made me feel out of place. “You stole Link.” 

  For a moment, the other flounders, like a fish out of water, and then his voice explodes with a sharp “What?” 

  “You took Link!” He says it firmer this time. “We were fine, happy almost. I was happy! And then you came in and changed things and you- you-” he kicks at a clump of dirt on the edge of the pit, watches it roll away and crumble like he wishes the complicated feelings inside of him would do. “You took him away.” It’s softer the second time, just a whisper, a weak little thing that he hates. 

  “You’re jealous?” The anger is gone now, just...confusion in that face. “Are- are you seriously just... jealous?” 

  “No!” 

  And Tune stares, blinking up at him, bewildered. “You’re jealous. You, who Link thinks the world of and adores like his own son, are jealous.” 

  “I am his son!” Where in the world did that come from?!?!?! 

  A sigh and the shake of the head. “Okay, get me out. We’re going to talk.” Before he can resist, that stormy sea stare turns up to him again, warning. “If you don’t want me telling Link what you did, then we talk it out without him.” 

  “Gonna be hard to hide it,” he mumbles, even as, reluctantly, he offers a hand to help get the other out. It’s not that deep, the magic is really the only thing keeping Tune there, and now that he’s here, it dissipates quite easily, not halting the older boy’s climbing out at all. “Your arm’s going to give it away.” 

  “Help me set it,” is the easy answer. “I can down a potion and Link will be none the wiser.” 

  Mask stares. “You’re not going to tell him?” 

  Those deep eyes roll, a heavy puff of air escaping chaffed lips. “I mean, I can if you really want. I’ll tell him you got jealous and trapped me in the ground and that I broke my arm while falling down and-” 

  “Okay, okay! I get it! I’ll help.” 

  He does too. They both go back to the tent, and with a fair bit of struggle, they manage to set the broken arm just like Link’s shown them how, tying it to a splint made of a wooden spoon to hold it until the potion takes effect. The moment they’re done though, he’s stuck under that Stare again. It's not nearly as bad as Link’s, but it isn’t fun either.  

  “Alright, so, what made you think  trap was a good idea?” 

  And... and... he tells him. It all sort of bleeds out in a messy amount of word vomit; the frustration and anger and everything. How he’s not keen on having a brother, how he didn’t get a choice or a warning, how its not fair! And Tune just listens, digesting the words quietly as though they aren’t mean and spiteful, as though he doesn’t sound like Mido when he says them. If Saria could see him now she’d be shaking her head, sad and sorry, probably wondering how he turned out like such a rotten little thing even after how hard she tried to teach him to be good and kind. It’s only when he finishes that the sailor says anything, and even then, it’s not even angry. 

  “I get it.”  

  He wants to scream that no, no one does!  

But the sailor smiles, a crooked, sad thing. “Change sucks.”  

 The words hit home. Like they’re everything he was trying to say but couldn’t, and he just finds himself nodding in answer. 

  “I’m sorry I stress you out, but look at it from my perspective,” stormy eyes are clearing, gentling, like a cool and flat lake, “I don't have anywhere else to go either.” 

  “Someone else could take you!” 

  A shrug. “Yeah, they could. But no one else wants to. You’re not the only one who doesn’t want me taking up their space. Not that I blame them; if I was you I’d probably be pretty pissed too, but yeah. Anywhere else, I’m going to be treated like a child, like a kid, not like a hero who knows what he’s doing, who killed Ganon, who did stuff that they’ll never really get. Link doesn’t even get it yet, he’s not there, but he’s the closest I’ve got to someone who knows what it’s like to live our life.” 

  Mask pauses. “Our life?” 

  And there’s that blasted smile again. “Yeah. You? Me? We’re heroes. We beat Ganon, we won, and we went home afterwards. It changes you a lot, and I don’t think most people get that, which is good, because that means they never had to deal with the shit we have, but it does make it hard to find people who understand you. Honestly, I was really excited to hear there were other heroes here, because I hoped maybe we could...” and there’s a faint flush back to the sailor’s cheeks again. He’d already downed the potion, he’s not crying anymore, and there’s no pain or anything, but he’s steadily getting redder.  

  “Spit it out already.” He doesn’t mean it to come out harsh, but it does, huffing out as he keeps his arms folded tight in front of him. 

  Tune sighs. “I hoped maybe I’d find a friend. Someone who really understands.” 

  “Must suck, huh?” 

  Another shrug, a tip of the head. “Yeah. But I get it if you don’t want to. I did intrude on your space, and I am sorry for that. I wish you’d told me it was bothering you though, instead of trapping me like a wild pig.” He has no clue what that means, but he lets it pass, for now. “We could just have sat down and talked about it. You say you’re an adult, right? Well, adults talk about shit that makes them upset, so we can do that instead of...whatever that was.” 

  And it’s not perfect, not friendly and not warm and not a sweet sappy thing like maybe Tune would have wanted, but they do talk. There’s a lot of prodding and pushing, and a lot of yelling, but eventually, they work out something. No one agrees to leave, but lines are drawn. Tune agrees to keep his spices away from Mask and only share if Link asks (which he probably won’t, considering it’s Link). Mask agrees to keep his traps and tricks to himself. If one of them is in the tent, the other needs to make sure it’s okay to come in, unless it’s time to sleep or they’ll be out again quickly. There’s more to work out, and they’ll have to do this a few more times, Tune tells him, but it’s a start. 

  When Link comes back, he doesn’t suspect a thing. Or, if he does, he doesn’t ask. A question of if Tune is okay, a hair ruffle, and then one for Mask too, and then he’s urging them both to bed for the night. Being tucked in is childish, but they accept it. They accept it and they sit quietly while the older hero collapses on his own bedroll and goes out like a light, still fully dressed. 

  “He’s a great guy,” the sailor whispers once they’re sure the man won’t wake. 

  Mask nods. “Yeah.” 

  “We can do this, for him. Even if you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, we can at least make his life a bit easier by not trying to kill each other.” 

  “Deal. Now shut up.” 

  He thinks the other giggles to himself, but no more words are spoken between them. Well, not that night anyway. They have to talk again later, once there’s not the threat of Link walking in on them. It’s not perfect and there are hiccups; there are still yelling matches and squabbles and sometimes it gets a bit more physical, but for Link, they make it work. The least they can do is support their fellow hero as he prepares to face the same hell they know. Although, it really doesn’t feel that way with how intent he is on watching out for them, like he really is their dad or something. 

#asks and answers #linked universe #linkeduniverse #febuwhump2024 #febuwhump #ketto writes #lu time #lu mask #lu wind #lu tune #lu warriors #war trio #war of ages

[lymooniee]

I've come to another realization--

This scene in particular is so important ahem let me do some sort of analysis:

Firstly, Shadow's desperation to stop Sonic right away by exclaiming they're not real. This right here shows us that he empathizes with Sonic by trying to protect him from getting hurt. He understands these are the closest projections to his reality, so he does what he can to keep Sonic at a calm level instead of letting him spiral. We see this too by the way he guides his hand out to Sonic, but pulls back because Shadow has a difficult time expressing his emotions. I've stated before that I see Shadow as autistic. This, to me, kind of adds to that hc of mine. There's actually a lot of scenes in this episode I could pull to make my point ngl. Anyways, that's off topic a bit, but yeah he has a hard time with placing his empathy into comfort. Yet he still knows the right things to say, I believe this is because he's able to place himself in Sonic's view in some sense.

Shadow gets annoyed by Sonic for being stubborn and once again reiterates how Sonic has much more important things to live for. Like his "real" friends, I think Shadow saying this is so significant because it reminds me of his own backstory. He knows how hard it was to promise to save Maria and end up losing her, so he knows how Sonic would feel if he were to die and not be able to keep his promises or vice versa, where he couldn't save anyone else because of his impulsive decisions. The way Shadow becomes so adamant that Sonic needs to focus on those who are real and truly need saving makes me happy because it once again shows his empathetic side. He may not come out and say "I want to save everyone" but the way he expresses his desire to save those around him and to encourage Sonic in doing so as well, is brilliant. It's why he has in the past saved Rouge and other characters of course too. It's why he does sacrifice himself at the end of Sonic Adventure 2. He isn't heartless, he cares deeply and a character doesn't need to say they're a hero to do hero things either. Shadow can be a hero in his own way, but because of his past and because of him teaming up with EGGMAN. He came to be known on the dark team. You know the funny thing though, is that the dark team weren't even bad, they helped those around them, helped Sonic in many ways, I just believe they have different ambitions hence why they are on a separate team. I've always loved that they never considered them as evil. It makes Shadow such a realistic character in a lot of ways, he wants to save those around him, but he doesn't want to gain praise from it.

The fact that Sonic at first pushes Shadow away, but then pauses in realization. It's so good, the dynamic between them is why I'd love to have a game where they just have to work together and you play as both. It'd be interesting to see them write them as something other than rivals, because tbh, they weren't ever the typical rivals to begin with which I love. I think too it'd be such a refresher from all the poorly written Shadow characterization, it'd do justice for him and Sonic in a lot of ways. I also do hope one day that Sega allows us to play as all the characters again but i digress as I ramble on and on.

To go back on topic, they both wish for the same things but have such different mindsets. Sonic needed Shadow in this, because without Shadow, Sonic would be struggling to keep his head straight.

#ramble #sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime analysis #analysis #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #i apologize if this ramble or analysis whatever goes all over the place #im suddenly really sleepy so uh blame that #anyways love them #shadow hehe

[vbecker10]

Loki's Silent Sentry (alt. ending Part 2 - final)

Part 1

Alt. ending Part 1 is meant to be read after part 2, instead of the original parts 3 - 7

**Seriously please do not read this without reading the trigger warnings**

TW: death of a main character (if you message me I will tell you who in case that will change if you read this or not), mourning the loss of a loved one, loss of a family member, having to mourn in secret, depression, feeling alone, brief mentions of previous loss of parents, inability to move on, guilt

(Please let me know if I missed anything and I will add it)

A/N: I wrote the fluffy, happy ending for this story but I got this song (tagged below) stuck in my head and it felt like a really tragic way to end this story. The idea just kept getting more depressing and heartbreaking so I had to write it. I understand this is not for everyone, it's not even something I would usually read.

Please, please do not feel the need to read this because we are mutuals or because you read the happy ending version. I will absolutely not be offended if you skip it.

...Last chance to turn back lol 🫣

You walk through the common room of the soldier's quarters, your head down as you desperately try to escape to your room. Several people congratulate you on receiving your award this morning and you nod vaguely to each as you pass by.

Slamming closed the door to your room, you rest your back against the wood and close your eyes as you breathe deeply. Your fists clench as your mind replays the king's words of praise. Heroic, brave, loyal, dutiful, all the things a good soldier should be you were but you were still not enough to save the one person on Asgard who mattered to you.

You reach for your chest and your fingers brush against the cold medal Odin pinned to you. Opening your eyes, you rip the medal from your uniform and throw it across your room. You pay no attention to where it lands, you want it as far from you as possible.

You pull the end of the black fabric tied around your arm and let it fall to the floor as you walk to your bed and sit down heavily. You bend down to pry off your heavy boots and when you sit up your eyes catch the painting of your parents that you keep next to your bedside.

Picking up the small frame, your fingers trace their faces slowly. Your father has been gone for nearly ten years, his life given defending the Bifrost from a Jotun attack. Your mother was killed while protecting the queen's father when you were still a child. You hold the picture tightly to your chest. Your mother and father, your grandfathers, three of your aunts, your uncle, your cousins... you slowly list the members of your family who gave their lives in service to the crown and the realm.

You slowly lower the picture to your bed as the thoughts that haunted you before you met Loki returned. You are once again completely alone in this world. No family, no true friends, no one to love and to love you in return. Loki was the only person you were able to connect with in recent years and he knew you were terrified of being alone, of being the last one left. He promised he would always be with you, that he would never leave you alone but you made him break that promise when you failed to save him.

You get up from the bed and walk angrily across the room. You swipe everything off the top of your dresser as you scream. Glass bottles shatter and items slam to the ground around you. You are not a hero, you are not brave, you did not do your duty. You move to your small bookshelf and grab the books by the handful, throwing them to the floor, crying tears of anger and regret and guilt and pain. You should have died protecting Loki, you should have died in his place. He should be alive, your mind screams as you pick up a small metal box you keep on your desk and throw it against a wall.

You stop suddenly as dozens of folded notes spill out of the broken box, walking towards the pile slowly you wipe away your tears with the back of you hand. You sit on the ground next to the pile and pick up one of the pieces of paper which fell out. The one you picked is still neatly folded, not like the others you've opened and refolded after having read them over and over. This is the note Loki passed to you shortly before his death, you have not been able to force yourself to read it. You hold it tightly to your chest and try to hear his voice but all you can hear is your own.

You lost the love of your life and you will be alone forever. Loki is gone and it is your fault.

You stand next to Captain Skye as Commandant Thorn prepares to read the charges for Loki's former sentry. Odin sits on his throne and Thor is seated next to him, the queen is not in attendance this afternoon. Only selected council members are present and a handful of soldiers, all captain or higher except for you.

The private kneels in the center of the room, a guard from the dungeons on either side of him. His hands are bound behind his back and he hangs his head low.

You force yourself not to look at him, to keep your eyes straight ahead and your expression emotionless. Last night you visited him in the dungeon and agreed to speak on his behalf even though you know it will have no effect on the outcome. Your captain informed you that he is going to be made an example of. Regardless of his low rank and lack of experience, his one duty above all else, was to keep Loki safe and he failed to do so.

You feel a pit grow in your stomach as a member of the council motions for you to come forward. Your heart pounds as you take your place next to him, he looks up at you and you can see how lost he is. A part of you wishes you could place the blame solely on him for Loki's death. If he had done his duty, Loki would be alive but you can't. You know in your heart that he had been purposefully selected because of Loki's desire to see you.

You take a breath to steady yourself. "It is my professional opinion as a lieutenant in the royal guard that Private Rok is far too young and inexperienced to have been allowed to guard Prince Loki. There is no doubt or argument that he did not follow his training or his duty but he is only one month out of the academy. There is a reason sentries are meant to spend their first year after training shadowing more senior sentries. It is so they can understand the enormous responsibility that comes with being a sentry. Guarding a royal or council member is more than silently following them around the palace. A sentry must truly be willing to lay their life down for the person they are protecting and unfortunately Private Rok was not willing or ready to do so," you look at Odin as you speak.

Odin sits back in his throne and asks, "Who is responsible for assigning this soldier to Prince Loki so soon after completing his training?"

The room is silent until you realize he is asking you. "Prince Loki requested him," you answer but give no further explanation. The last thing you want to do is make it seem as if you are attempting to say Loki's death was his own fault.

Odin nods and is quiet for a moment, the whole room waits for him to speak again. He motions for you to return to your place next to Captain Skye then he stands. You hold your breath as he sentences the young man to fifty years in the dungeons.

Two days later, you open your eyes to the sound of the morning bells. Loki's funeral is at sunset, you remind yourself as you sit up. You throw off your sheets but you can't find the strength to stand, you've cried it all out. Sitting motionless, you look around your room and sigh as you flex your bandaged hand. You had cleaned everything yesterday and cut yourself more than once on broken pieces of glass. The black tie and medal you "earned" sit next to the painting of your parents, waiting for you to put them back on.

Forcing yourself up, you take a few steps from the bed and go still when someone knocks on your door. You have no idea who it could be, the soldiers you live with have all giving you their condolences for the prince and congratulations on your award. There was no one left who would wish to see you.

You shake your head and decide to ignore whoever it is in the hopes that they will go away, you do not have the mental capacity for small talk today.

After a few moments there is another knock and you suddenly realize how quiet it is. The drone of constant talking and laughing that radiates from the common room is gone. Even at night, there is always chatter as the shifts vary greatly, someone is always awake.

You take a deep breath to steady your nerves and open the door. Your heart stops as you come face to face with the queen. You are so shocked you freeze, forgetting to bow or greet her or even blink it seems.

Her new sentry stands just to the side of her and says, "The queen would like to speak with you, Lieutenant Y/L/N."

Your heart aches at the thought of inviting the queen inside your private space, Loki had never been to your room before. There was never a chance for you to show him the book where you pressed the flowers he gave you or sleep with him on your bed so your sheets smelled like him. He hadn't seen the painting of your parents or your childhood stuffed animal. There were so many things you still wanted to share with him but you would never be able to now.

You shake away your thoughts and step out of the way so she can enter, her sentry remains outside. Closing the door behind her, you keep your eyes down and take a few steps away from her. You are terrified to be near her, afraid she blames you for Loki's death as much as you blame yourself.

"Y/N," she says softly and you look up slowly to meet her eyes.

She looks as distraught as you feel and without thinking, you begin to apologize, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-."

She moves quickly and wraps you in a tight hug, cutting off your words. You break down as soon as you are in her arms, she is the first person who has hugged you since Loki passed. Unable to hold back your tears any longer, you cling to Loki's mother while you shake from the force of your sobs.

When you finally let go of her, you wipe your eyes and apologize again, "I'm sorry your highness, I-"

"Shh," she pulls you back into her arms. "You have done nothing to be sorry for," she says quietly and you nod but you don't believe her. She takes your hand and leads you back to your bed, sitting on the edge she motions for you to join her.

"This was not your fault, Y/N," she tells you as you sit close to her.

"I know but..." you want to believe her.

"I don't blame you and you know Loki doesn't either," she says and you look up at her.

"I just... I need you to know I really tried. I tried so hard but I just... I couldn't get to him fast enough. I couldn't find him. I wanted to, I needed to save him but I couldn't," you try to wipe your eyes but the tears come to quickly. "I know my duty was to protect you and everyone calls me a hero because I did but..." the thought that haunted you at night slips free. "I didn't save your son, how could I be a hero? He died because I failed."

She pulls you into her arms and rubs your back lightly. "The outcome does not make you a hero, your actions do. I have never doubted that you did everything you could to bring my son back to us," she says softly. You nod and she adds, "He would never want you to let this eat away at your beautiful spirit."

You look up at her and rub your face with the back of your hand. "I know how much Loki loved you and how happy you made each other," she says, her eyes full of tears but she smiles. "He told me so many wonderful things about you and his hopes for your future together. You truly were his whole world."

"And he was mine," you tell her, your heart aching at the knowledge that he told his mother he was planning a life with you.

You take her hand, "Loki, told me how lucky he felt to have you as his mother. He said you were always there for him." She smiles as tears roll down her cheeks. "I want you to know how much he and I appreciated all of your help after the ball. I never... I never thanked you for giving me that extra time with him on Sundays. I cherished every second we had together but I wish we had more time. I would give anything for just one more day with him."

"So would I," she agrees.

You sit together in silence for a moment then she says, "There is a reason I wanted to see you this morning." She wipes her eyes and clears her throat before giving you the best smile she can gather in the moment.

She reaches into a pocket on her black gown and takes out a small golden box with a snake etched into the top. "Loki would have wanted you to have this," she offers it to you.

You shake your head no, your heart sinking as you open the box. A thin gold band with diamonds around a large emerald sits on a dark green piece of velvet. You touch the ring slowly, running your fingers over each gem then you close the box quickly as you feel your head spinning.

You look up at her and she is holding a folded piece of parchment paper. She sighs deeply and looks at the paper without unfolding it, running her fingers along the crease, "He figured out how to bypass the marriage law..."

You look from Frigga to the box in your hands and find it hard to breathe as she talks. Your hands shake as you hold the box tighter.

"He was going to propose during the Harvest Festival next month..." she says. "He wanted to do it in front of all of Asgard so no one would ever question how in love you two were."

Your heart shatters at hearing how close you were to being Loki's. One more month and the two of you would have had your happily ever after. You open the box again slowly and take the ring out, you slip it halfway onto your finger and stop. You whisper no and you begin to take it off but Frigga puts her hand over yours.

"You should wear it," she says, "And you should be with his family tonight."

"I can't..." you look down. "I'm supposed to be on guard during the procession," you explain but she shakes her head.

"You will walk with us," she says simply. "It is what Loki would have wanted."

"But the king said I'm not to mourn him in public, it would be..." you worry about his reaction to seeing you at the funeral.

"Leave the king to me," she says in a determined voice. You can't help but smile a little when you remember Loki once telling you that Odin may rule Asgard but Frigga ruled Odin.

"You are not just a soldier. Odin and the council may try to deny it, but you were not just his sentry nor even his friend," she sighs deeply and takes your hand again. "You should have been allowed to be his wife, Y/N. It is what you both wanted and deserved. I'm sorry these idiotic political issues kept you two apart while he was alive but I refuse to let anything stand in the way of you grieving him the way you should."

You can barely believe what you are hearing and you are at a loss for words.

Loki's body is dressed in full armor with his horned crown, his favorite daggers crossed over his chest as he rests in a wooden boat, surrounded by flowers from the garden he shared with his mother. The king and queen walk a few steps behind as the boat slowly floats towards the water. Civilians, council members and soldiers line either side of the long path, heads hung in respect and mourning. You walk next to Thor, your black gown flowing around you gently in the light breeze, your hands folded tightly together so you can feel the ring he wanted to give you. Tears stream steadily down your cheeks but you hold your head high and continue on.

The dark water ahead grows closer and when you see the mist from the falls beyond, your feet refuse to walk any further causing you to stumble. A hand reaches out and catches before you fall.

"I have you," Thor assures you, tears in his eyes as you take his arm for support.

"Thank you Thor," you look away as he fails to hold back the first of many tears. "I'm sorry you lost your brother."

He nods quietly and walks with you a few more paces before he says, "I'm sorry sister. I had not known how much you meant to Loki, I never would have treated so you poorly if I knew the truth. I only ever wanted my little brother to find peace and happiness. It seems as if he had found both with you."

You grip his arm tighter as the boat gently slips into the water, guided forward by Odin's magic. Odin halts a few feet from the edge of the water but Frigga continues to follow the boat until the hem of her dress becomes wet from the soft waves. Thor leaves you so he can stand with his father but you follow the queen. You cannot bear the thought that this is as close to Loki as you will ever be again. You want to follow him out into the water and over the falls to his life after this world.

All of Asgard watches in silence as Loki's body floats across the water in the wooden boat. Odin taps his scepter once on the sandy shore and the sound echos, somewhere behind you a single archer let's loose a flaming arrow and your heart stops. The boat catches instantly and your knees give out as he draws closer to the edge of the great falls.

You hit the ground hard and watch from your knees, tears streaming down your cheeks as the boat vanishes from view. Loki's spirit is set free, hundreds of beautiful green orbs float towards the sky above. You watch until the last light fades into the stars and cover your face with your hands to quiet your pained scream.

A few days after Loki's funeral, you accepted the queen's request to return as her sentry. Over the last month, you have force yourself to rejoin the world around you but inside you feel as if you are still drowning in your grief.

Every second you stand alone in silence outside of the queen's office is spent reliving past conversations with Loki. Each hallway you walk down holds a memory from your time spent following him as his sentry. The winding staircases where he held your hand secretly or stole a kiss when no one was around cause your chest to ache. You can't breath inside the palace, the very air reminds you of him.

Today is Sunday, a day you used to look forward to above all others, a day where you were once able to show Loki your love for him and feel his love for you. The queen opens her door and steps out, there is no need for her to tell you where you are going. You already know the destination.

You follow Loki's mother into the garden and a wave of emotions hit you so hard you find it hard to breathe. Every Sunday since Loki passed, you have taken his place beside her although it pains you both greatly.

You walk next to her slowly as she recounts stories from her son's childhood and teen years. You can hear the heartache in her voice as she corrects herself each time she speaks about Loki as if he still here. The stories vary over time, some are funny while others are seemingly random memories with no true focal point.

You listen to each story but you are simply performing for the queen, you smile and laugh at all the right moments but you have lost your ability to feel joy. Your eyes scan the garden while she talks as if Loki might somehow appear on the path ahead. As if he could be hiding behind every tree or tall hedge even though you know you will never see him again. The garden has become one more place on Asgard where Loki haunts you.

As you leave the garden, you both pause next to a tall, full rose bush with flowers that are marbled green and white. She touches the petals gently and takes your hand.

You stand at the top of the stairs and think about the nightmare that awaits you if you return to your room. Your sleep has been stolen by a single reoccurring dream every night for the last month. Smoke and ash cloud your vision, you feel heat burning your skin as the flames surrounding you grow steadily closer. The roar of the fire drowns out your screams for Loki and you always wake up suddenly to the same sound, the cry Loki's mother let out when she found him in your arms.

"Loki would have loved these," you tell her with another practiced smile.

She conjured them in honor of Loki after she spoke to your on the morning of his funeral. She gives you a hug and tells you that your are dismissed for the night. You nod and turn, leaving her to watch the sunset alone.

My beautiful Y/N,

You had decided tonight would be different, you were not returning to your room. You turn down the long dark hallway to your left, to the office where Loki had created a duplicate of his chambers using his magic.

Lighting a single candle, you take off your armor slowly and sit on the worn out couch. The cushions are flat and the legs are uneven but you are not worried about being comfortable, not tonight. All you want is to be somewhere you used to share with Loki. His office and chambers had both been sealed upon his death but even if they were not, you doubt you could bring itself to go in either.

You close your eyes for a moment to stay yourself then take out the note he gave you just before his death. You take a deep breath and open it for the first time.

I miss you more than I can put into words, I cannot wait until I have you in my arms again. I promised you that I would find a way for you to be mine forever and I think I finally have. We will be together soon and I will never let you go. I love you more than anything in the nine realms.

Love always, Loki

You fold the note carefully and hold it to your chest as you lay down. The tears you have kept locked away all day run down your cheeks. Wiping the tears from your eyes, you catch a glimpse of the ring he would be giving you at the Harvest Festival tomorrow if he were still alive.

You close your eyes and imagine Loki down on one knee in front of all of Asgard professing his love for you. You cry with joy and jump into his waiting arms, telling him you love him as you kiss him over and over.

The images fade and you roll over to face the back of the couch. You sniffle, wiping your eyes again and decide you will soon be with Loki forever. Tomorrow, before the festival, you are going to tell the queen you are leaving Asgard. You have made the decision to be sent to the front line of the ever raging war on Jotunheim.

If the Gods are good, you will meet Loki and your family in Valhalla before long.

This is the song that inspired me, if you listen to the end you will see why. Again... I'm sorry to everyone who reads this that I hurt you but I just needed to get this story out of my head. If you want the happy ending version please read the original part 3 (linked at the top) 💙💙

If you did like this, please like, comment and share! Thanks! 💚💚

@siconetribal @soubi001 @lulubelle814 @newtomofgods @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen

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