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howtofightwrite · 6 months

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I know DnD is not about realism but how accurate is having, say, your heavy armor wearing paladin have 10 dex or even negative dex? Where medieval knights built like The Rock or like The mountain? I’ve seen youtubers saying that you needed a lot of strength to be able to fight like a knight so women and smaller people couldn’t do it.

I think I know which YouTuber you're talking about, and you can pretty safely ignore them. Their personal misogyny takes priority over their (alleged) expertise when they're forming their arguments.

There's two logistical problems with the idea that you need someone like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson to make up the bulk of your elite forces. The first problem is that they need to consume a frightening amount of food. This isn't as much of a problem in the modern era, when we have the capacity for truly staggering amounts of agricultural production. But, in a medieval society, with serfs responsible for most of the agriculture, the prospect of feeding each of your elite troops 10,000 calories a day would economically destroy most kingdoms. (And, yes, that is what Björnsson reports to consume on a daily basis. Other estimates place his dietary intake somewhere between 3600 and 8000.) And, to be clear, that is an absolutely absurd amount of food. But, if you want to build that kind of mass, you need a lot of energy, which means, a lot of food.

The second logistical problem is, there's only one of him. Okay, that's not literally true, The Mountain was portrayed by three separate actors, Conan Stevens, a professional wrestler, and Ian Whyte, a stunt actor who had previous appeared as a White Walker in the first season. But, Hafthor Bjornsson took over the role in the fourth season, and is probably who you're thinking of when you name drop the character.

Bjornsson is a member of the 2000 pound club, which include power lifters who can lift over 2000lbs combined between bench press, dead lift, and squats. Not many people ever get that far, and Bjornsson is one of the few individuals who can get into the 1000 pound club from a single lift.

Here's a fun name to know, Becca Swanson is also in the 2000 pound club. She credibly claims that she is the first woman to have achieved that, and I'm not sure if there are any other women in the 2000lb club, but it is achievable.

Now, here's the fun thing about all of this, because you're asking about D&D, and D&D players need to know exactly how much their character can lift. The calculation is (STR*30)lbs. (In the Player's handbook p174.) This also means if you have a real person, and you know how much they can lift in the real world, you can reverse engineer what their strength score would be in D&D.

It's 37.

If you wanted to convert Hafthor Bjornsson into D&D, his strength score would be 37.

Dude can fucking arm wrestle the Terrasque and easily win.

Putting that in perspective, it's a little ludicrous to say that if you want a viable martial character (fighters, paladins, barbarians, etc.), they need a Strength score of 37, when it's not normally possible for player characters to exceed 20 base strength. (If you're wondering, Becca would work out to have ~29 Strength. So, on par with most ancient dragons, and a few gods.)

So, there you have a man and woman who are both superhumanly strong according to D&D.

D&D and math have always had issues like this, and it pops up in a few different places here.

The basic concept that your ability to hit, and the amount of damage you deal is based on strength comes from a very, “schoolyard,” understanding of violence. It's okay to step back and abstract it out, where “strength,” is some amalgam of melee combat aptitude in addition to actual strength, but the idea that being stronger means you can hit harder with a sword or dagger doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't even make much sense with axes and maces (the force applied has more to do with the mass and velocity of the weapon, rather than the strength of its wielder.)

A paladin with negative DEX is dead. I don't mean that figuratively, and I do understand what you meant to say, but this rule is a little obscure in 5e. If any of a character's physical attributes (STR, DEX, CON) are reduced to zero, the character immediately dies. Ability draining effects used to be far more common, so the rule existed by itself, though, now it mostly shows up when you're looking at a monster with a physical ability draining attack.

What you probably meant was a negative DEX modifier, meaning your paladin is unusually clumsy. Outside the context of D&D, that would be an incredibly bad thing for a front line combatant. In the specific context of D&D, if they're in heavy armor, it doesn't really matter, if they're in medium, then it reverts to being “a bad thing. Specifically, the rules is that light and medium armor add your DEX modifier to your armor class. Medium armor caps this at +2, but it can go negative with either armor type. However, heavy armor in 5e ignores your DEX modifier entirely.

Now, here's the thing about D&D, its concept of armor is spectacularly weird. Unlike RPGs where armor reduces damage taken, either by subtracting a fixed amount from incoming damage or by reducing damage via a percentage, D&D's system is that your armor class grants you a chance to avoid being hit at all. (5% chance per point of AC, if you're wondering.) Narratively, this is often framed as taking a hit, but your armor turned the blade or something similar. This is because sometimes the enemy attack straight up misses, and that's (usually) determined by your dexterity. This is important, because the game is trying to balance two different power fantasies against each other.

On one side you have the players who want to roll in heavy plate armor, and soak all the hits, and on the other you have players who want to go with light armor, and dodge around enemy attacks. Realistically, that's not an option, but D&D permits it, and again, that's fine. The fantasy of lightly armored fighters makes a lot of sense. I'd even go so far as to say that the barbarian's unarmed defense bonus (where they add CON modifier to their DEX modifier while unarmored) is a really good change in 5e even if it does make no sense objectively. It contributes to the fantasy of this brutal fighter who runs around without armor slapping people silly with their weapons, and shrugging off damage because they're too stubborn to die. In (nearly all cases) the ability to deliver the player fantasy of a class is more important than a strict adherence to reality, and that's fine, that's the point, but the realism of D&D doesn't translate off the page in any meaningful way.

If you wanted a more, “realistic,” (and, yeah, that's incredibly loaded in this context), approach to armor for D&D, I'd say gate access based on your Constitution (or Constitution modifier). Sort of like how your equip load in Dark Souls is based on your Endurance attribute. Give armor and weapons a burden value, and if the combined burden on a character exceeds their CON, the character risks taking levels of Fatigue when they're fighting in heavier gear than they're conditioned to deal with. Maybe add a Conditioning feat or skill if you want to add some other attribute modifiers to the mix should you end up with your heavy armor fighters being underequipped. (Then again, I am one of those psychopaths who really liked the D20 Star Wars' vitality system.) So, ultimately, tinker with the balance until you find something you, and the people at your table, are happy with. Roleplayers who have more meaningful build choices tend to be happier, so long as they don't feel like they're being punished for having a character fantasy.

One of the more amusing descriptions I've read of medieval knights is that they were built like methheads. I can't fully vouch for that, because I'm not an expert on the physical appearance of medieval knights, but it's certainly credible. These guys were eating pretty well for the era, and engaged in a lot of physical activity. Depending on what they were doing, that could easily result in some fairly bulky guys, but it could also result in some wiry looking guys who hide their muscles. Just, knowing what I do about the human body, the answer was probably both, depending on their metabolism and diet. But the image of Sir Methhead, Knight of the Realm, and his implausibly clean teeth, still amuses me.

It's worth remembering that a lot of the times I've seen someone say, “they were built like athletes,” they'll drop an image of a bodybuilder. No. That's not what you would get. Bodybuilding is designed to create its own physique, one that doesn't occur unless you're abusing your body in some very specific (and unhealthy) ways. It's probably better to think of someone like a high-school football player. Bulky, but without the carved physiques of a Boris Vallejo painting. (If you don't know who that is, look up his art. It is a bit dated, but it's gorgeous.)

Alternately, if you do want your characters to look like those paintings, it is your fantasy, have fun.

-Starke

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#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #starke answers #how to fight write #D&D #Game of Thrones #The Mountain #Hafthor Bjornsson #Yeah Dude's first name is Half-Thor #figure he earns it #I can't judge you for using Boris Vallejo art as your character tokens #I'm still using MTG card art for mine

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mournfulroses · 6 months

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Elizabeth Bishop, from The Selected Poems of Elizabeth Bishop; "The Mountain,"

#lit #elizabeth bishop #poetry #stay #the mountain #typography #writings #p

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boanerges20 · 2 months

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Cadwell Park Reblog Or Fuck Off!

#motorcycle #cadwell park #the mountain #ride hard or go home #built for speed #sport bike #racing #motorsports #experience speed #wild #moto love #lifestyle #reblog or fuck off!

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thewatcher0nthewall · 3 months

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The Mountain That Rides

#gregor clegane #the mountain that rides #the mountain #riverlands #fanart #drawing #illustration #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #the winds of winter #game of thrones #asoiaf fanart #valyrian scrolls #art #GRRM #my art #house clegane

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laurellerual · 4 months

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Sometimes I find comments out there that go like "Arya would never let herself be kidnapped"...

Have we read the same books? Arya is kidnapped! More than once!

#arya stark #asoiaf #house stark #the hound #the brotherhood without banners #the mountain #yoren

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hathaway-hayes · 1 month

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095

Leaves in the breeze remind me of: Your haunted whispers And promises I’d meant to keep.

Time’s tides know of only, lonely, Hostages, hours unraveled, And surrenders to penance.

Even though I’d come eventually Come down from the mountain, I wouldn’t be the same;

A far cry from the lover that’d left. Cadence and its necessary climb, So for this, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

- Hathaway Hayes (2024)

#writerscreed #poeticstories #poetryportal #twcpoetry #writtenconsiderations #spilled ink #writingthestorm #poem #poetry #poet #poets on tumblr #writer #author #writers on tumblr #apologies #ghosts #the mountain

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adoriadreams · 10 months

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I find it difficult to believe that people ship Sansa and Sandor.

She literally like 11 and he a grown man. Not only that, he’s a grown man with a lot of issues. He’s violent and very much unstable. He takes the time to trauma dump on young girl, hurt her and then threaten to kill her if she ever speaks of it. Disgusting.

I don’t care for his sad backstory, yes it’s sad what happen to him but that does not give him the right to lash out on Sansa like that.

He’s literally mental.

#book review #books and reading #asoiaf #game of thrones #asoif/got #sandor clegane #sansa stark #gregor clegane #The mountain #sandor the hound clegane #Gregor Cleagane the mountain

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backseatxo · 6 months

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My lil scientist! Lovingly named after one of my favorite characters name convention in another game cough anyway i fell in love with the mountain.. dunno who the mountain is? it's because they had 3.2 seconds of screentime. mine now. i'm in swtor purgatory.

#swtor #backseatart #art #original character #oc #originalcharacter #swtor oc #the mountain #nautolan

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lunasglow · 11 days

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For once in my life I’d like to see Tywin and the Mountain getting their lashings for what they did to Elia. Or Robert for saying “I see no babes, only dragonspawn” when shown the dead bodies of Rhaenys and Aegon.

For some reason, they are almost always absent in every fan discourse about Elia/her children and it feels like they get away with it.

#I mean at least in recent show discourse #Robert Baratheon may u burn in hell #tywin lannister #the mountain #elia martell #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #asoif

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annmarcus63 · 7 months

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The warm night envelops the camp with its deep black cloak. Jaskier is sitting in front of the campfire when Geralt appears from the shadows carrying a bag and a pot in each hand. The bard snorts and turns his gaze to the flames.

"It's been two days, Geralt." The witcher proceeds to hang the pot over the flames to heat its contents and offer the bag to Jaskier. He reluctantly takes it to discover that it's full of apples and grapes, his favorites. But Jaskier doesn't appreciate the gesture, being that Yennefer was the one who gave him the food. "I've waited for you for two days." adds Jaskier a little more firmly. Then Geralt sits down next to him on the log leaving inches between them, as he always does when Jaskier is upset. "I know." Jaskier lets out a disgruntled chuckle.

"I know, he says. Well, I don't like it." The confession floating between them.

"You never seemed to mind" Geralt responds after several seconds in silence.

"No I didn’t, because it was different." And that's the problem, both have had affairs, lovers and adventures, both have enjoyed each other and others. But Yennefer...it's something else entirely.

The wood gives way to the fire throwing sparks into the air, the crickets sing and Jaskier envies their joy. "We never talk about what we are to each other, I know it's not something you like to discuss." Geralt grunts softly to let him know he is listening. "But we had an agreement, or a pact so to speak: no matter who we were with or how many, we would always go back to each other. You would always come back to me.”

"I'm here." replies Geralt somberly.

"No, you're not." Jaskier hates himself for the tears clinging to his eyes. Don't cry, he begs to himself. "Not since the Djinn.” The bard turns tentatively to face the witcher. He carefully places one of his hands on Geralt's powerful forearm and clings to it, a little desperate, a little broken. "I'm here, Geralt, but I'm alone." Jaskier kisses Geralt's shoulder and then rests his forehead on it. "Come back to me, Geralt." He then raises his face to meet Geralt's disgruntled eyes. Such beautiful eyes. "Please, come back to me. I miss you. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't." Geralt puts a hand on Jaskier's and squeezes. "You won't." he repeats to convince Jaskier, or maybe it's to convince himself and isn’t that worrisome.

"Please come back to me." Geralt then wraps his arms around him and kisses his temple and then leaves a wet trail all over his face.

That night Geralt takes him lovingly, slowly and affectionately, making him come twice. That night the soup over the fire burns. That night Jaskier realizes that it is inevitable that he will lose Geralt.

#geraskier #jaskier #the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #joey batey #look! more angst #want to know what comes next?#yeah you guess #the mountain #I'm still menatlly on S1 #on other news #I am doing a master's degree and my university went on student strike.#i'm so so tired and sad #your kudos will save me!#don't forget to share #love u all #sorry for the bad spelling

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queen-helaenas-pet-spider · 18 days

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Sandor: *Spends his whole life trying to prove that he's not as bad as his older brother, Gregor {who r*pes, kills, etc}*

Rorge: *Stole Sandor's identity by somehow getting his grubby paws on Sandor's famous Hound helmet, and wearing it during a r*ping and killing spree with friends*

Most "Fans": *Actually believe Sandor regrets not r*ping and killing Sansa Stark {who he loves most} before he fled King's Landing {he was dying and was saying whatever he could to get Arya Stark *Sansa's litle sister* to finally end his suffering, but she robbed him and left him for dead}*

Sandor:

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ohmy-zabrak · 1 month

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#things I think about in the shower #shit post #game of thrones #gregor clegane #the mountain that rides #asoiaf #the mountain #hafthor bjornsson #game of thrones fanfiction #original post

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duckyhowls · 1 year

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Daenerys Targaryen x Fem!Baratheon(Lannister) OC - 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘯 (P2)

DuckPanda Original - PART 1 Daenerys Targaryen x Lannister!OC (Mercia Baratheon)

SUMMARY: The young queen, Mercia Baratheon, is the last living heir to King Robert after all three of her siblings die horrible deaths. As the Seven Kingdoms are on the brink of collapse, Mercia does all she can to hold it all together - though struggles arrive when the Long Night draws near, and The Dragon Queen comes for her throne. But perhaps there is a compromise they can arrange?

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Mercia stroked the soft neck of her loyal lioness, Potami, who sat committedly at her legs as the Queen rested upon the Iron Throne.

Once again, the young queen was holding court with at least a hundred guards rowed on either side of the room, something that Mercia did just to ease her mother's paranoia. For all of Mercia's siblings had been killed, two out of three were assassinated – so she didn't blame her mother for becoming desperate to have a ridiculous number of guards positioned to protect her last remaining child.

Near Mercia's lioness stood The Mountain, only two paces left of the throne with Maester Qyburn. On Mercia's right was her uncle and her mother, staring down stoically at all of the lords that Mercia had summoned to Kings Landing to speak with.

"If the last Targaryen takes the Iron Throne, she'll destroy the realm as we know it," Mercia spoke, not taking her eyes away from her lioness whose piercing, blue gaze scanned the lords below. "Some of you are bannermen of House Tyrell, but House Tyrell is in open rebellion against the crown. With their help, the Dragon Queen has ferried an army of Dothraki to our shores. Unsullied soldiers who will destroy your castles and your holdfasts for their queen without a second thought. Her armies will burn your villages to the ground, rape and enslave your women and butcher your children."

Mercia lifted her green gaze to the many lords standing before her, all of them listening intently, hanging on to every single word that came out of her lips. "This is how Olenna Tyrell rewards centuries of service and loyalty?"

Her mother then spoke up, stone-faced. "You all remember the Mad King," she called out. "Do you remember the horrors he inflicted upon his people? His daughter is nothing less."

Mercia glanced at her mother for a moment. She hated it whenever her mother sounded so sure. Mercia, despite being the Dragon Queen's enemy, knew from the accounts of spies that Daenerys was nothing like the Mad King. From all that Mercia has witnessed through reports, Daenerys Targaryen was an anti-slavery monarch whose only goals are to free the people of the world and take back her ancestral throne. That, in itself, was different, but not mad in the slightest. Nonetheless, they had to convince the lords to join their forces with the crown. For the sake of Mercia and her family’s lives at least.

"In Essos, her brutality is already legendary." The words tasted bitter in Mercia's mouth, as she forced herself to twist these stories to make the Targaryen Queen sound like a mad tyrant. "She has crucified hundreds of noblemen in Slaver's Bay. When she grew bored of that, she fed everyone that opposed her to her dragons. It is my sworn duty before the faith to protect the people, and I will, but I need your help, my Lords."

"We must stand together," Cersei interjected once again, sounding confident and determined to convince these men to side with them. "All of us. If we hope to stop her."

The lords whispered amongst themselves for a moment before Lord Tarly stepped forward, stoic and tall as he addressed the young queen. "Your Grace, forgive me but she has three full-grown dragons. The same as Aegon when he conquered the Seven Kingdoms. How do you propose to stop them? With your lions?" Some men in the room laughed.

Mercia's hand that was stroking Potami's fur went still, and her eyes met the old Lord's. Then, she turned her head to Maester Qyburn and nodded to him.

The thin, frail man looked over at the lord, blank-faced as usual. "We are currently at work on a solution, my Lord."

Mercia stood then, clasping her hands together and giving the lords a small smile. "Please, discuss this together. Take your time, we have all day. For now, I must insist that I get off this damned, uncomfortable chair. I will call for the court again in a few hours."

Turning to her lion, she lightly tapped her hand on her thigh once. "Come, Potami."

The lords all watched the young Queen leave the throne room with the huge tawny lioness loyally trotting at her heels.

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"I am Eddard Stark," said the man that had been forced to kneel before the enraged common people of Kings Landing. "Lord of Winterfell and Hand of the King."

The man glanced towards his right, where, nearby, his eldest daughter, the Lady Sansa Stark, nodded to him in encouragement. On her left was the newly titled queen regent, Cersei Lannister, her golden hair long and ever so beautiful. She was smiling proudly at her eldest son, the newly crowned King of Westeros, Joffrey Baratheon, who stood near Eddard Stark, smirking satisfyingly at the discord before him.

Mercia watched with a frown from Sansa Stark's right as the man, her late father’s closest friend, who had been in the dungeons for days, was now being publicly humiliated. Mercia had never felt this ashamed of her brother as she did now, watching Joffrey seem so pleased at this poor man's suffering. Despite being a traitor to the crown, Mercia only had heard such kind things about Eddard Stark, that he was the most honourable and one of the most prominent lords in the country. And with every spoken word they have exchanged, even if there wasn’t much to be said, he always treated her with kindness and the upmost respect. This lord did not deserve this shame.

Looking away, down to the ground now, Eddard Stark continued. "I come before you to confess my treason in the sight of the Gods and men. I betrayed the faith of my king and the trust of my friend Robert. I swore to protect and defend his children, but before his blood was cold, I plotted to murder his son... and seize the throne for myself."

What? Mercia whipped her head to look at her mother, Cersei, who turned to look at her with a small smile, though the young girl could see the harsh warning behind the older one's green gaze. ‘Do not say a word’.

Meanwhile, the crowd had erupted in an outroar, one peasant in the sea of people even throwing a small stone at Lord Stark's head, causing the man to gasp in pain as blood seeped through the wound and drip from his brow. Beside Mercia, Sansa gasped and grasped the princess’ hand. Mercia turned her head away from the sight, squeezing Sansa’s hand back.

"L-let the High Septon and Baelor the Blessed bear witness to what I say: Joffrey Baratheon is the one true heir to the Iron Throne, by the grace of all the Gods, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm." Through every word, Eddard Stark's face contorted, as if he were in pain of speaking falsehoods. Mercia knew of the letter and will her father had left behind, asking his friend to rule until Joffrey came of age.

The crowd murmured amongst themselves angrily, but Maester Pycelle stepped forward. "As in sin, this man has confessed to his crimes in sight of Gods and men. The Gods are just, but beloved Baelor taught us they can also be merciful." Maester Pycelle then turned to Joffrey and bowed his head. "What is to be done with this traitor, Your Grace?" he asked, spitting the words as if the man accused was some worthless demon.

The crowd jeered and called out angrily, but Joffrey raised his hand with a pleased smile, as if all this chaos excited him. Mercia knew that it did.

The crowd went silent, and Joffrey spoke, "My mother wishes me to let Lord Eddard join the Night's Watch. Stripped of all titles and powers, he would serve the realm in permanent exile," he continued, looking to his betrothed, the Lady Sansa. "And my Lady Sansa has begged mercy for her father."

The Lady Sansa smiled softly at the King and Mercia frowned. She knew her brother better than to be someone of mercy.

She was right when he announced his next words, and Eddard Stark's head was put to the sword and placed on a spike on the city walls for months.

Mercia never forgot the Lady Sansa's screams that dreadful day.

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Part 3 Coming Soon!

#daenerys x reader #part 2 #joffrey baratheon #sansa stark #cersei lannister #ned stark #game of thrones #dany x reader #fem x fem #queen #lannister #baratheon #targaryen #dragons #kings landing #maester pycelle #the mountain #khaleesi

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