#the only things are 1) i do not want to shave my face i hate everything about the idea of facial hair actually | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

holllandtrash · 1 year

Note

you know 6 to 1 yn said something about carlos’s mustache and lando threatened to grow his hair back out of playful jealousy

word count: 4.1k tags/warnings: some angst, jealousy, mentions of smut kind of part of the 6 to 1 series

carlossainz55

liked by ynleclerc, scuderiaferrari and 391,202 others

carlossainz55 off to Canada 🇨🇦 let's keep pushing

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scuderiaferrari now that's a smoooth operator

spicysainzz its illegal for a man to look this good

ynleclerc god don't tell me you're growing out your facial hair now too

carlossainz55 you love it ynleclerc sure

“Oh so you like Carlos’ facial hair?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You didn't look up from the cutting board, already deciding that whatever Lando was on about wasn’t as important as making dinner.

“You like his facial hair,” Lando repeated, a statement this time.

It was impossible to not give him any attention when he shoved his phone in your face. You took a breath, asking yourself what you were getting yourself into as you dropped the knife on the counter and tuned in on his screen, more specifically, at the comment you had left on Carlos’ most recent picture.

“It’s a harmless comment,” you scoffed, knowing that your friendship with Carlos was nothing for him to worry about, yet he always seemed to be triggered by the most mundane things.

“But you like his facial hair.”

“Are those the only words you know how to say?”

You pushed the phone out of your face and turned properly to face him, only then seeing that he wasn’t taking this conversation as a joke the same way you were. His jaw had tightened, the lines in his forehead displayed his very prominent annoyance and you flipped a switch to react accordingly, hand going up to cup his cheek

“Lando,” you said, a slight shake of the head. “You’re being dramatic. I commented on my friend's photo. Who is also your friend. It’s nothing to get worked up over, okay?”

Lando and Carlos were still two peas in a pod. Their bond was unbreakable but since you started dating you could tell he was always slightly on edge whenever you and Carlos were alone together. And of course Lando trusted you, you’re the one person who held his heart he knew you wouldn’t do anything to damage it.

It was Carlos he didn’t trust.

He didn’t like that Carlos had never once talked to Lando about the kiss you had shared. It was this strange, unspoken thing, but when you tried to explain how weird it would be for Carlos to approach him and say ‘hey, I had feelings for your girlfriend and we kissed but don’t worry about’ it didn’t really click for Lando.

So he just held his breath and watched from a distance whenever you interacted with the Spanish driver and if he felt your conversations lingered a little too long for his liking, he’d find a way to pull you aside and remind you who exactly you were in the paddock for.

He had no control over what happened on Instagram, though. And it wasn’t like he was going to tell you to unfollow your brother's teammate, so he just ignored any bitter thoughts that came to mind if he saw your name show up in Carlos’ likes.

But that comment.

It was friendly, sure, but it was the fact that it was on the topic of facial hair that really stung. Lando knew how much you hated his facial hair when he tried to grow it out and the only reason he ended up shaving was because you made your dislike for it so abundantly clear.

So why the fuck did you not hate it on Carlos?

Carlos didn’t have as difficult of a time growing out the stubble like Lando did. And his already prominent moustache was just only going to get thicker and you didn’t hate it. It was clear by your comment, despite it being sarcastic, that you didn’t hate it.

And Lando hated that.

“You’re really bothered by this,” you said aloud when it sunk in that this wasn’t something Lando would get over after a good night's sleep.

“I am, yes.”

“And what's bothering you, exactly? The fact that I commented on his picture?” You asked, wanting to get to the root of the problem. “Or are you annoyed that I had a different reaction to his facial hair than I did with yours?”

Lando hesitated before finally muttering a quiet, “Both.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed on his chest, wanting not only a bit of space from his childish ways of thinking but also wanting to finish dinner. You picked up the knife and went back to mincing the pepper, not about to coddle Lando or assure him that he had nothing to worry about because this was a conversation you had had way too many times for your liking and if he didn’t know you loved him by now then that was his problem.

But Lando wasn’t about to move on as easy as you had, “I’m just saying-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” You cut him off, voice shaper than the knife in your hand. Each cut against the board echoed in the confined space and Lando could tell you were applying more pressure than needed, relying on your actions to show that you really didn’t want to have this conversation.

And Lando stayed quiet for the rest of the night. Not just about the picture, but in general. When you asked him to set the table, he did so without his usual childish complaints. The conversation between you during dinner was cold and distant but you didn’t want to press further, knowing that he’d get over this in his own way.

You thought things were fine when he crawled into bed shortly after you did because he curled his arm around your waist like normal, pulling you against his chest as his soft breath hit your neck. You whispered ‘goodnight to him, but his lack of response wasn’t something you thought too much about.

It wasn’t until you woke up did the trouble really begin.

You walked into the bathroom first thing in the morning, rubbing your eyes and the residue of mascara that didn’t come off after washing your face last night. After turning on the sink and letting the water run, you wiped a disposable cloth over your face and tossed it out immediately after. Naturally, the rest of your morning routine would have followed, had a perfectly good electric razor not have caught your eye at the top of the garbage can.

“Lando!” You basically screamed, knowing he was in the inbetween stages of awake and asleep when you had gotten out of bed. You heard the rustling of sheets and the patter of footsteps as you grabbed the razor out of the bin.

When you turned around, one hand resting on your hip you saw a very tired Lando standing in the hallway. Usually the sight of him bare chested and wearing nothing but boxers was enough to have you contemplating dragging him back to bed, but not this time.

“What is this?” You asked, so obviously talking about the razor Lando had thrown out the night prior. “A peaceful protest?”

Lando looked at you and then at the little contraption and then back at you, a hint of a playful smile on his face. Of course now he thought this was funny.

“Yeah that’s a good way to put it.”

“Are you fu-” you sucked in a breath to avoid losing your shit on him five minutes after waking up. “Why?”

“Because I’m growing out my facial hair again.”

“Why?”

“Oh is that the only word you know how to say?” Lando asked, mimicking your question from last night with more sarcasm than you wanted to deal with at nine in the morning.

You rolled your eyes and shoved the razer into his chest before storming past him, dragging your fingers through the roots of your hair while he was forced to call your name, stopping you from slamming the door to the bedroom.

“What?” Lando asked, voice raised. “Why are you so upset about this?”

Your hands tensed, cupping your own face as you exhaled into your palms before your arms fell back to your side, “I’m upset because you clearly are doing this because of that stupid comment on Carlos’ picture.”

“Maybe I just want to grow my facial hair out again,” he shrugged, leaning against the wall as he crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn’t thrown the razor out again, but that didn’t give you any sort of hope that he would hear you out.

“You don’t,” you scoffed. “You told me yourself it wasn’t permanent the first time. You just wanted to try it out. You tried it and it turns out, not for you.”

“Maybe I’ll like it more the second time.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at him, instead choosing to turn on your heels and start to walk into your bedroom, muttering a quiet, “Maybe I’ll hate it more the second time”

“Oh but you love Carlos’ facial hair.”

That stopped you in his tracks. Lando finally admitting that it was, in fact, the comment that was getting to him. Carlos and your interaction was the catalyst to all of this and instead of Lando seeing it as an exchange between friends, he was taking it personally.

You turned back around and walked right up to him, nearly chest to chest when he straightened up from the wall. Lando and you didn’t usually fight, both of you knew how important communication and trust was and it was and after the rocky start you had, you never wanted to go back to a place of uncertainty with him.

But this was fucking annoying.

“That’s what you’re mad about, huh?” You asked, holding his stare. “The fucking comment. And you think that growing your facial hair out is, what, a way to get back at me? Because you know I hate it?”

Lando said nothing, a dead giveaway that you were 100% right and he was simply being immature for the sake of being immature.

“Okay,” you nodded, throwing Lando off when your tone went from deadly to calm before he could blink. “You want to be mad? Fine. I’ll give you something to be mad about.”

Lando watched as you walked back to the room and he hesitantly followed, trying to make sense of whatever that ominous warning was that just came out of your mouth. He didn’t say anything when you walked out of the closet, fully dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. An Enchante t-shirt even though he thought you were past wearing Danny’s merch. He didn’t say anything when you grabbed a backpack from under the bed and put your wallet and a few other necessities in there because it wasn’t like you were packing. This flat in London was basically your second home and this spat seemed too minor for you to be packing up your things and leaving.

But you were going somewhere.

“Where the hell are you going?” Lando asked when you finished brushing a comb through your hair. You slung the straps of the backpack over your shoulder and then, this was the kicker, you grabbed your passport that was sitting on top of the dresser.

You barely looked at him as you walked past him, your shoulder brushing against his before you headed straight for the door.

“Back to Monaco. See you in Canada.”

—————

You were true to your word. Cutting off communication with Lando until you landed in Montreal the Thursday before the grand prix weekend started.

Lando, in return, did not reach out. But he did make it perfectly obvious that he was growing out the facial hair again, making sure to post about it every chance he got. You swore you had never seen him share so many pictures on his photography account and were you a little upset he went to New York without you? Kind of, but you were stubborn and so was he and you had now found yourselves giving each other the cold shoulder over a goddamn comment on Carlos fucking Sainz’s instagram picture.

“What’s up with you and Lando?” Charles asked, an unmistakable pep in his voice that you raised your eyebrows at. He stood next to you on the balcony overlooking the paddock, arms rested over the railing and mirroring your position, but he cleared his throat and reworded his question. “It’s just, something’s up, no?”

You shouldn’t have been surprised he figured out there was tension. If Lando’s fans could put two and two together when you neglected to comment or even like any of his pictures, your own brother could figure it out too.

“He’s an idiot,” you rolled your eyes.

“Well I could have told you that,” Charles snorted. “What really happened?”

“I commented on Carlos’ picture a few weeks ago and Lando took it as me liking Carlos’ facial hair even though I made it perfectly clear I hated it when he was trying to grow out his hair.”

Charles took a second to repeat your words in his head, “He’s upset because you commented on Carlos’ moustache?”

You nodded, “And now he’s growing his facial hair out again out of spite.”

“This is about so much more than facial hair isn’t it?”

You clasped your hands together. You felt Charles’ eyes practically burning holes into the side of your head but you focused on the people wandering around the paddock.

“He’s just dramatic and immature,” you muttered, deciding that was an easier answer than to have a whole therapy session with him. “He’ll learn his lesson, though. I have an idea.”

“Why do I have a feeling you are also about to be dramatic and immature?”

You laughed in response, right as you spotted the exact person you needed to help you with this idea. You patted Charles on the arm and told him you’d see him later before you all but sprinted down the stairs of the motorhome to chase after the other Ferrari driver.

“Carlos!” You called out, running after him before he could get too far. He turned around when he heard his name, a smile on his face when he recognized the voice belonging to you.

You had to admit, the grown out facial hair did suit him. Carlos was always handsome but this made him look more mature, more distinguished.

“I need you to do me a favour,” you said, a playful smile painted on your lips.

Carlos nodded, “This sounds like deja vu.”

“It has to do with getting back at Lando.”

“Now it really sounds like deja vu,” His eyes widened momentarily as he thought back to what happened in the club when you last asked for his help. He was still traumatised from that DJ set. But Carlos loved you, platonically of course, he would always help you. “What do you need, hermosa?”

A few photographers started to crowd you and usually at this point, any driver would continue walking to get away from the unscheduled media harassment. But this was what you needed.

You raised your hand up to his jaw, thumb tracing over the hair he was growing out as a shimmer of adoration glossed over your eyes. Your lips curled upwards and Carlos, even though he was certainly confused, played along, loving any excuse to mess with Lando.

“Just tell me to kiss you and I will,” Carlos joked quietly, face only inches from yours, and you pushed on his chest in response. He caught you a little off guard when he reached for your hand and pulled you back before you could force some space between you.

You glanced at his lips as Carlos held your hand between your bodies. You reached up with your other hand to cup his chin lightly, thumb dangerously close to his lips. To anyone walking by, it most likely looked like you were about to kiss him.

But you got all that you needed.

“Thank you,” you whispered, shooting him a wink before you pulled yourself from his grasp and walked back to the Ferrari motorhome, knowing that the media was about to have a field day with those photos.

You didn’t see Lando at all in the paddock. Whether that was intentional on his behalf or not, you had no idea. You did, however, see your name blowing up on twitter along with all of the comments about how you and Carlos looked too damn friendly to be just friends.

Lando’s text came about an hour after your name started trending.

Charles told you that you potentially took it a step too far, having a few choice words himself to say about you and Carlos, all of which you tuned out and told him you knew what you were doing.

But you weren’t entirely sure who had the upper hand when you got your key from the receptionist and made your way up to Lando’s suite at the end of the night. You purposely took your time getting there, deciding to go out for dinner with a friend first before finding yourself at his hotel.

And now you were holding your breath as the card reader turned green and unlocked. You pushed the door open, not having anticipated seeing Lando sitting on the couch and leaning forward as he scrolled through his laptop that was perched on the coffee table. He heard you walk in, heard you put your bag on the counter, heard you slide your shoes off and clear your throat, but he didn’t look up once.

Lando simply turned the laptop around on the table so the screen was facing you instead. On the screen was a tweet, or maybe it was a photo from Instagram, you were standing too far away to tell the source but you could make out the image of you and Carlos.

More specifically, the image of you holding your hand against Carlos’ cheek and giving him the smile that was usually reserved for Lando. One he hadn’t seen in almost two weeks.

He clicked on the trackpad and the next one appeared. Much more intimate than the last as this was the photo that gave Lando a heart attack. He didn’t expect to open his phone after the media pen interview and see pictures of his girlfriend about to kiss his best friend.

You didn’t regret what you did, that little act. You didn’t actually do anything except plant an idea in Lando’s head.

“What do you want me to say?” You asked, gesturing to the laptop. You took a few, horribly slow, steps forward. You were nervous about how this conversation would go, but you knew how to mask your emotions enough and as Lando stood up, eyeing you over, you didn’t buckle under the weight of his gaze.

He scratched his chin, his overgrown stubble, clicking his tongue against the back of his teeth.

You expected him to snap. To say something about the facial hair, about the photos, about Carlos. You hadn’t seen each other in weeks and you assumed that the first conversation you had would be a fight, because, let’s face it, you were both dramatic and immature.

But you didn’t expect his shoulders to drop and for his stare to go from cold to distant as he opened his mouth and asked a question that broke you the way nothing else in your life ever could.

“Do you love me?”

It caught you by surprise, “Do I-” You took a few steps forward, the wall you had up had now fallen and all you wanted to do was reach for him. “Why are you even asking that? Of course I love you. You know I love you.”

“So then why?” He asked, referring to the photos.

You exhaled a breath before responding, “Because you were making a big deal out of that stupid comment, Lando.”

He stepped forward too, closing the gap between you inch by inch, “I made the appropriate amount of deal over seeing my girlfriend flirt with someone on social media.”

He hadn’t raised his voice, not yet. It seemed that you both wanted to avoid that. You weren’t ones to yell at each other, you argued, yes, but your voices never echoed off the walls.

And you didn’t want to yell, not when you knew what this was really about.

Your lips parted, but you barely got a thought out, “Lando-”

“He still has feelings for you.” He stated, as if Carlos had told him that himself. “He still likes you and I know- I know you guys are friends, I can’t tell you not to be friends but I don’t like the way he looks at you. I don’t like that you are blissfully unaware that he’s into you, that he’s-”

“No, you know what I don’t like?” You cut him off sharply. “I don’t like that this is clearly something that’s bothering you and instead of talking about it to me from the beginning, you let it simmer and focus on things like comments and facial hair and being childish, Lando.”

When you stepped forward, Lando thought you were about to lose it on him. Instead, you lifted your hands to cup beneath his jaw, your thumbs gently tracing small circles on his cheek and Lando could finally breathe because this was the first time in days he was feeling your touch and even though things were strange between you, your hands holding his face in font of yours felt right.

“You need to talk to me about these things,” you told him. “If something’s eating at you like this. How was I supposed to know this was so much bigger than a stupid fucking moustache?”

Lando laughed at your question, because it really was insane when he thought about it. He should have told you about his distrust with Carlos instead of letting his frustration boil up.

“Lando, I love you,” you whispered with a soft chuckle. “I love everything about you, everything that matters. Your heart, your soul, the way you treat people, your sense of humour, the way I can trust you with absolutely everything, how you managed to win over my entire family and for fucks sakes, yes, I absolutely hate your facial hair but have you ever stopped and thought about why?”

Of course he hadn’t. Lando acted first and thought later.

He hesitated before asking, “Why?”

The corners of your mouth turned upwards, your eyes darting down to his lips as you pulled him closer, his hands finding your waist.

You lips hovered over his, teasing him with a ghost of a kiss, something just within his reach but when he tried to connect your lips you kept pulling back, leaving him hanging.

“Because it itches.”

Lando pulled his head back, still in your grasp but no longer trying to kiss you as confusion flashed over his features instead.

“Itches?”

“Itches,” you repeated with a slow nod. “I don’t like your facial hair-” you ran your thumb over his chin and the stubble he had grown out. “-because when you go down on me, it. Itches.”

Lando opened his mouth, only to close it promptly while your words sunk in. Of course that had never crossed his mind, that the feeling of his facial hair rubbing against the inside of your thighs, near your folds, would cause displeasure.

“And I’m sorry about the incident with Carlos,” you continued on, knowing you had to address it. “I’m not making excuses but if you are acting childish, I- in return -will also act childish. If I had known it was about more than facial hair, I wouldn’t have caused such a scene but god, Lando, I don’t give a shit about Carlos growing out a beard or a moustache because it’s not his lips on me. It’s not him eating me out.”

Lando cleared his throat, not surprised that you were so blunt with your choice of words. You always were. He was surprised, though, when you stepped away from him and turned around, leaving him a little speechless as you walked towards the bedroom.

Before stepping through the door frame, you glanced over your shoulder and raised your eyebrows at him, “Are you just going to stand there?”

That got him moving. He reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off as he followed your footsteps, discarding the top behind him. When his arms slid around your waist, pulling your back into his chest, you melted into his hold.

You craned your neck, giving him more than enough access to press his lips to your skin. Your hands covered his as the quietest moan followed a strained exhale. He trailed his lips upwards, but refrained from going further, lifting his head up after just a few seconds.

You turned and looked at him, spotting that stupid grin on his face.

He nudged you towards the bed, “Get comfy, my love, I need to take care of something first.”

You didn’t need to question what he had to take care of. He planted a kiss on your cheek and retreated towards the bathroom. Doing what he said, you climbed atop the bed and you as well, had a stupid grin on your face when you overheard the dull sound of an electric razor trailing in from the hallway.

And god was it music to your ears.

#lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris fic #ln4 #holllandtrash #6 to 1 series

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gojo-enthusiast · 7 months

Text

Kento Nanami ~

Wake Me Up

*Sleep Sex* MDI, 18+ Only! Kento wakes you up to a sweet surprise *😉* after working a long day fighting curses. Do not read if it triggers! Anyways, enjoy my first piece 😈

Word count: <2200

PSA: did not proof read, honestly I’m always horny for JJK men, so beware and stay tuned for more disgusting pieces. Also are we gonna talk about how fucking hot Nanami is in season 2???? Follow me on X (Twitter)

Like and reblog🫶🏻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had stayed awake until midnight, taken your shower, exfoliated, & shaved.

"Ken should be home anytime soon" checking your phone seeing the time

6:00 PM

Getting yourself all prepped and ready for him to come home to a sweet surprise. You had been aching all day long, this morning he had been loving on you, slowly caressing your thighs, and right when he was going to put his hands into your heat, his phone starts ringing,

“Fuck. Who is calling me?” He groans grabbing his phone, “What the fuck does Satoru want.” He groans once again. Your husband was not one to cuss often, only when he was upset, (usually at Satoru) or when he was fucking you.

“What is it Gojo-San?” Nanami ask begrudgingly,

“Nanamiiiiii-“ Satoru says in a shrill

You didn’t hear all that was said, but the moment the called ended, your husband stood up and kissed your forehead.

“So sorry my love, but I have to leave. I promise we will finish what we started when I get home.” He says smiling faintly.

“Everything okay?” You ask, wrapping the sheets around you as he gets in the shower to get ready to leave for another day of killing curses. A job you hated so much, but you knew that him working his office job, was only making him feel suffocated, and had no meaning to his life.

“Yeah, just some curses. Nothing to be worried about. Satoru is out of town, I have to take the new kid Yuuji Itadori with me today.” He says washing his face, you see the bubbles of the soap form, and sink down his skin to the drain. You look down, and see his member hard as a rock, he looked frustrated.

“You sure we can’t fix that before you go?” You smirk, “Don’t tease me, or you’ll regret it later on.” He groans, you watched as he slightly stroked it in the shower, you watched, knowing he was about to burst any second. He wanted to fuck you right then and there, but he knew if he did, he would be late, and he wouldn’t stop. And then there it was, he had finished all over his hand, the water washing it off.

“Fuck. I wish that was in me right now.” You moan, “Get out before you tempt me anymore.” He says as he looks away from you. You do as he says, you already know how hard working your husband is, that’s why you spent the whole day pampering yourself, getting a facial, getting your nails done, everything that would make you feel and look done up. You knew how much your husband loved to see you all dolled up and manicured. I mean he didn’t work so hard for nothing. He always wanted you to be able to feel spoiled, and go definitely spoil yourself with his money.

But little did you know, your husband would be working overtime today. And you would be passed out by the time he got home.

Hubby🩵: Baby I'm running late today, I promise I will be home as soon as I can. I love you. - 6:02PM

Your husband is always home by 6PM, so you knew if he wasn’t, it was definitely something a little more serious. But you know your husband, he’s a grade 1 sorcerer, he will be home in no time.

As you lay in bed, watching some trashy reality TV, trying to stay awake. You look over at the clock

11:46PM

You feel your eyes getting heavy, the red wine you had drank during dinner finally hit you. And next thing you know, you’re cuddled under the blankets to a pillow, asleep, wishing it was your husband.

It was 1 in the morning, and Nanami finally made it home. Walking inside the house, feeling sluggish, and ready to lay in bed next to his wife, and feel her warmth.

“I need to shower.” He mutters to himself. He steps into the guest bathroom, which he usually does after a mission, because he doesn’t want to get your shared bathroom dirty. Washing off his day, feeling his muscles finally loosen up.

His phone rings again, it’s Satoru;

“What the fuck do you want Satoru?” Nanami hisses, “hey hey calm down Nanami-San, I just wanted to thank you for taking Yuuji, and taking care of those curses. Get some rest, and some ass. Ijichi told me how grumpy you were today. Take the day off tomorrow.” Satoru giggles to himself, “Was planning on it, now leave me alone.” Nanami says back, hanging up.

His phone beeps, showing that he received a text message,

Satoru Gojo: YOUR WELCOME, have fun😼

Nanami: 🖕🏻

Satoru Gojo: 🫶🏻

He finally turns his phone off, wrapping the towel around his waist, walking out the restroom down the hall, to your shared bedroom. He knows you’re asleep, there’s no way you stayed up this late for him. He walks into the bedroom, and your bottom half is under the blankets, while your top half is completely nude, and you’re sprawled out.

“Fuck, where is your clothes?” He mutters, feeling his cock stiffen, becoming erect. He climbs into bed, leaning in kissing your lips, then kissing your cheek, to your neck. “Damn it, I can’t do this while she’s sleeping.” He groans.

You had always told him how you would love to wake up to him in between your legs, but Nanami was such a “consent” man, which you loved about him, he was so respectful to you, and treasured your body, but you sometimes just wanted him to take charge and do something that wasn’t so good boy / gentlemen behavior. He remembered the conversation as he stroked himself next to you, “fuck it.” He says to himself, taking the blanket off your body.

Seeing your white laced panties, his cock at this point was throbbing. “Such a pretty little thang aren’t you?” He whispers in the crook of your neck, climbing on top of you, placing kisses down your neck, going down to your breast, starting the suck on your nipples. Placing his teeth in between your nipple, slightly biting it. Causing a moan to come out of you, while you were asleep.

“Mmm dreaming about me baby? You should wake up so you can catch the live action.” He says swirling his tongue around your areola and nipple. He started the bring himself down to your heat, sliding your panties down swiftly. “Oh how I have craved to taste you all day.” He says opening your folds with his fingers, gently placing his tongue on your clit immediately. He knew your body more than you did, and he definitely knew where you liked it the most. He quickens the pace of his tongue, sucking on your clit, you’re moaning in your sleep. Dreaming of your husband in between your legs, he doesn’t stop, wanting to taste your juices all over his tongue. He starts to rub his index and middle finger on your clit, rubbing it up and down quickly, as his tongue dips into your hole, tasting you deeply. Your eyes start to flutter open, and you’re moaning loudly now, seeing your husband in between your legs. “Ken-kento. What are you- what- ugh yes.” You try to ask what he’s doing, but he has no desire to respond back to you, his only desire is to make you cum over and over until you have melted into him. That knot in your stomach has finally snapped, and your finishing all on his tongue, he flicks his tongue up, tasting every drop coming out. “Ffffuuuuucccckkkkkkk” you groan bucking your hips up, practically humping into his face. “Yes baby just like that.” He says, still rubbing your clit, and abusing your hole with his tongue. He had one of your legs pinned down with his free hand. And the other one, was pinned down by his elbow, as he was still flicking your clit. As he continues to abuse your poor clit into overstimulation, you feel yourself about to bust. And there it was, exactly what he was wanting. You to squirt all over him, “KENTOO-!” You loudly moan, “stop, oh my god.” You cry out in pure ecstasy. You look up and see his face dripping with your liquid.

“Fuck, that’s so hot.” He says licking his lips, wiping his face with his towel. “Nanami-“ you pant, “yes baby?” He says, moving up to you, positioning himself to enter. “I missed you.” You say, wrapping your arms around his neck, as he brings his head down and starts to kiss you, sticking his tongue in your mouth. “I missed you too baby.” He kisses down your neck, sucking on it, leaving hickies all over. Because why not?

“I tried staying up,-ugh, Kento I tried staying awake.” You moan, as he starts to slide himself inside slowly, he was big, not only did this man have a long cock, but the girth was the size of a coke can. So he always had to slowly go in, never forcing himself in too fast. “I’m sorry baby I was late- ugh, today was so-fuck, - it was- so-s-so stress-stressful.” He moans, feeling your walls clench around his throbbing cock, he felt like he could burst at any moment possible.

“Damn baby you feel so so good.” Kento says finally pushing that last inch inside of you. Stretching you out at full capacity. “This sweet pussy has been on my mind since this morning. Can’t believe I went the whole day.” He pants, starting to thrust faster, “yes Kento, just like that.” You’re moaning into his ear, “fuck me baby.” You say looking into his eyes.

And that was it, that was the string that kept your husband in control, once it snapped, he and you were done for. Your pussy was about to be his flesh light. He starts pounding into you, kissing your G-spot with each thrust, you had came 3 times in the last 30 minutes from his cock alone. He kept edging himself, you knew he didn’t want it to end. He would fuck you fast and hard, and as soon as he felt like he was about to bust, he was slowing down. “Kentoooo- cum inside of me.” You moan out, “not yet baby, I’m not ready to finish.” He groans, feeling himself overstimulating himself. “Baby you feel so good. We fit perfect for each other. You belong to me, do you understand?” He says, you know it’s not a question, it’s a fact. You are his, and he is yours. And he will kill anyone who tries to get in between you two. He even thought about killing Satoru, for calling him before he was supposed to even be up getting ready to leave.

“Kento, I love you.” You moan into his ear, cumming again for the 4th time, “yes princess, cum for me.” He moans, finally about to reach his high. He’s pounding into you, with no desire to stop. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, yes-yes, I’m gonna cum in you, princess.” He whimpers, groaning in your ear, “yes baby, cum in me.” Your moaning, and that’s when he finally does, shooting his hot cum deep inside of you. Feeling your chest go up and down. The sweat from his forehead dripping down.

“Damn, that felt amazing.” He pants, staying on top of you, not yet taking himself out of you. “It was.” Your panting in union with your husband. “I just showered too.” He laughed, finally rolling off of you, pulling you to him, to kiss you.

“I’m sorry I was so late today, today was long.” He sighs, kissing your nose. “That’s okay baby. I understand.” You say nuzzling your head into his sweaty chest, not a care in the world.

“Princess, let’s take a shower before bed. I’ll change the sheets when we get out.” He says lifting you up, seeing his cum drip from your core. “Fuck that’s so sexy.” He whispers to himself, caring you to the shower, turning it on.

“Princess?” He looks at you, as you step in the shower,

His cum is dripping down your thighs, and your cheeks are red. He felt his cock twitch in excitement, I mean you guys usually go a couple rounds, so what would hurt if you both went again.

“I know you’re tired, and I’m tired. But, I’m going to need you to bend over and hold the shower rail.” He says, you look over and you see his cock rock hard again.

“Yes daddy.” You smirk, you silently thanking the universe you told your husband to give you head while asleep. It was going to be an exceptionally long shower & long night.

#nanami kento smut #kento nanami smut #nanami smut #kento smut #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #smut #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x y/n #nanami kento x you #nanami kento #fanfic #fanfiction #anime #anime smut #anime fanfic

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topguncortez · 6 months

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Are You With Me | | Chapter 3

previous part | masterlist | next part

synopsis: Jake and Y/N fight over the hospital bill and whether its a good idea to keep the kids on Jake's insurance or night. Jake still has issues with Miles. Ella makes a decision in the course of her treatment.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, divorce, fighting, cursing, childhood cancer, mentions of childhood death

Jake had made a joke once that Eli was the cheapest baby they had. Said joke had earned him a glare that was fierce enough to send a shiver down his spine. Y/N had mastered the “mom eye” after having two kids.

But, even though Jake’s joke was done in poor timing, he was right. Having a baby, although not planned one bit, at home had saved them quite a bit of money. Jake had always found it comical that he was the best of the best. The 1% of the 1% and had some of the worst health care coverage in the whole United States.

“I feel like I need to take a loan out to pay these,” Jake rubbed his forehead, slipping his glasses off his face.

It was one of the rare moments that Jake and Y/N were both at the house. Y/N spent the day with Ella while Jake was at work and Alex was at school. Between Penny and Y/N’s mother Clara, they watched Eli for a couple of hours. Jake would then come to the hospital at night, staying with Ella while Y/N went home and made dinner and got the boys to bed. The Daggers had created a weekend schedule, each of them taking a saturday or sunday to stay with Ella so Jake and Y/N could both go home and recharge.

Though being at home was more stressful than watching their four year old getting pumped with toxins.

“Is that the bill?” Y/N asked as she walked into the kitchen after putting the boys down. She filled the tea kettle and set it on the burner, before pouring Jake a drink and taking it to him

“The first one, yeah,” Jake wiped a hand down his face, “Thanks,” He mumbled taking the rocks glass from her, “The ER visit cost thirty-three hundred dollars and insurance is only covering three hundred of it. The estimated total cost of care is around sixty-one thousand dollars.”

“Well,” Y/N swallowed, “I can always put Ella on my insurance. I get good-”

“No,” Jake sneered, “We agreed when we… we agreed when we divorced I would put the kids on my insurance plan because it’s cheaper.”

“Yes, but if this means compromising Ella’s care-“

“It’s not compromising anything!” Jake snapped causing Y/N to jump a bit in her seat. He scrubbed a hand down his face, “You got the kids and the house and everything else in the divorce. Let me help do this.”

Y/N nodded her head, “Fine,” She sighed, “We still have the rainy day fund.”

“Still not even going to make a dent in the payments,” Jake leaned back in his chair, “I’m tired of talking about this. How was Ella today?”

“Same as always,” Y/N shrugged, “Was fine in the morning before chemo, napped all afternoon and then threw up everything she ate. Her hair is becoming more of an issue for her… it’s becoming more noticeable.”

Ella’s hair had started to fall out as the weeks of chemo continued on. Jake and Y/N didn’t have the heart to shave it or cut it before Ella started therapy, wanting her to have the ability to make that decision for herself. But as the treatments went on, Ella’s confidence began to fade with each clump of hair that fell.

“Maybe we should just shave it,” Jake suggested as the tea kettle rang.

Y/N poured herself a mug, “No. She’s already losing so much autonomy over her own body. She should be the one who decides on her hair.”

“I hate to see her like that.”

“We all do,” Y/N took a sip of her tea, “But she was happy that Rooster and Dragon got to stay with her. Dragon mentioned something about watching Dateline.”

Jake chuckled, “Going to teach our four year old how to commit murder and get away with it.”

“She’s been stealing cookies and getting things she wants outta you since she was born.”

Jake couldn’t help it, he was a sucker for those big green eyes.

Silence fell over the two of them. It was moments like these where things almost felt normal between Jake and Y/N. Like the past two years had been a fever dream. That they had never spent a day apart. But then reality settled back in, and the awkwardness filled the air.

“I’m going to bed,” Y/N said, clearing her throat, “I put clean towels back in the guest room.”

“Thank you,” Jake nodded his head, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Night, Jake.”

— — —

When Ella was born, she had a full head of dark curly hair. Y/N knew that she was going to have hair from all the heartburn she had experienced through the whole nine months. In fact, that was the first thing the doctor had called out in the middle of delivering the Seresin girl.

“oh gosh! she’s got a full head of hair!”

Y/N had always dreamed of having a little girl with gorgeous long hair, and she had been lucky to get just that. She couldn’t wait until Ella was old enough to sit up and her hair long enough that she could braid it and style it. Ella always had perfectly done hair when Y/N dropped her off for daycare. Ella liked to show off her matching bows or the intricate braid that her mother did to her classmates and teacher.

Miles had told them one of the most common side effects of chemotherapy was the loss of hair. Y/N thought maybe, just maybe, Ella wouldn’t lose her hair. They had gotten through the first week of treatment without any hair loss. But then week two rolled around, and it was the worst week of Ella Seresin’s life.

“Mommy! My hair!” Ella cried as she stood fresh out of the shower, with a clump of hair in her hands. Y/N did all she could to try and soothe her child as she pulled on the ends of her hair, more stands coming out.

“I know, baby,” Y/N fought back tears, “I know. It’ll be okay.”

For weeks, Y/N and Jake watched as Ella’s hair grew thinner and thinner. They switched from using a brush to using a wide tooth comb, hoping to save some of the frail strands of hair on her head. Ella knew that most kids on the floor didn’t have hair or wore fake hair. She knew that eventually, she would look like them.

“Do you want strawberry or cherry jello for lunch?” Y/N asked as she looked over the hospitals menu choices for today. Y/N wasn’t sure if it was because of stress but the hospital food wasn’t actually that bad. Plus, Val had kept Ella’s room stacked with snacks.

“Mommy,” Ella said.

“Yes, baby?” Y/N asked, putting the menu down and looking at her daughter, “What’s up, buttercup?”

“I want to cut my hair.”

“What?” Y/N was taken aback by her daughter’s words. Ella was wise beyond her years but this shocked Y/N to hear.

“I want to cut my hair. It keeps falling,” Ella said, touching her thinning hair.

Y/N nodded her head, “Of course, baby. We’ll do it tonight, when dad gets here. That sounds okay?” Ella nodded her head, a bright smile on her face, “Now, how about that jello.”

A couple of hours later, Jake was walking down the familiar bright colored walls of the children’s cancer ward. He always found it ironic that such a dark place was painted so brightly. Ella had only been there two months and already she had new neighbors on either side of her room. The cries of the parents haunted Jake at night and the images of little bodies being moved with sheets over their heads was enough to bring Jake to a panic. However, every time Jake walked closer to Ella’s door he was met with the beautiful sound of laughter.

A smile graced Jake’s lips as he heard Ella’s laugh and that familiar snort that always made her laugh harder. But the moment he opened the door, his smile dropped.

“Doctor Miles.”

“Daddy!” Ella cheered and sat up in her bed, reaching out for her father.

Jake walked over to her, greeting her with a hug and kissing her forehead, “How are you, bug?”

“I’m good,” Ella nodded her head, laying back in her bed, “Doctor Miles is playing Bluey with me.”

“I see that,” Jake looked over at Miles who was standing in the corner of the room now, “Where is Mommy?”

“Sent her for a snack,” Miles answered, “She’s looking like the walking dead.”

“Can we refrain from making death jokes?” Miles held back from rolling his eyes, “I’m here now, so you can go.”

“I said I would wait here with Ella until-”

“I’m her father and I say-”

“You say nothing,” Y/N said, appearing in the doorway, “Thank you, Miles.”

Miles nodded his head, “No problem, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ella, good job today.” He held his hand out for the little girl to give him a high five.

Y/N waited a moment until Miles was out of the room before looking at Jake, “Really?”

Jake just shrugged, “I had it under control.”

“I’m sure,” Y/N sighed, walking over to Ella’s bed. The little girl curled up next to her mother almost instantly, “Do you want to tell your daddy what you want to do today?” Ella nodded her head and then looked at Jake.

“I want to cut my hair.”

Jake’s eyes widened as he looked from Ella to Y/N, “You do?” Ella nodded her head again.

“The nurses brought some clippers and stuff earlier. I-I’ve never cut anyone’s hair so I-”

“I got it,” Jake answered, “I was cuttin’ boys’ hair in the bay at boot camp.”

“Okay,” Y/N said, feeling the familiar burn of tears in her eyes, “You ready, Elles?”

“Yes!” Ella said, a bright smile on her face.

Both Y/N and Jake walked with Ella to the bathroom where a nurse had brung in clippers, scissors, a razor, shaving cream and a step stool. Ella stepped up on the stool, looking at herself in the mirror that was covered with pink and purple flowers. Y/N leaned against the doorway, watching as Jake got everything set up, occasionally making funny faces in the mirror to make Ella laugh.

“Gonna start now, are you sure this is what you want?” Jake asked his daughter. Ella nodded her head, “Okay. Here we go.” Both Y/N and Jake took a deep breath as he grabbed a lock of Ella’s hair and lifted the scissors. The sound of the shears closing together made the loudest sound Y/N had ever heard as a lock of brown went tumbling down to the ground.

“You cut it!” Ella gasped. Jake’s heart pounded in his chest, then it relaxed as her giggles filled the room, “Do it again!”

Jake looked at his wife through the mirror, seeing her red eyes but the smallest smile on her face, “Let’s keep going.”

After every snip of the scissors, Ella giggled which made the whole situation somewhat better. Eventually Jake got to the point where he had to use the clippers. He gently moved them over her head, watching as the final pieces of hair fell from her head.

“What do you think?” Jake asked, as he set the razor down in the sink. It was quiet for a moment as Ella looked herself over in the mirror.

“My head is cold,” She said.

Y/N chuckled as she stepped into the bathroom, walking up behind her daughter, “We’ll get you a hat or two or-”

“Three!” Ella held up three fingers. Ella turned to face her mom, “Momma, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Y/N said, as Ella wiped a finger away from her cheek, “How about we take a shower and then watch a disney movie?”

“Princess and The Frog! Daddy! Will you stay?”

Y/N looked at Jake, who was cleaning up the hair around the bathroom, “Yeah. Of course. Let me finish cleaning this up, and I'll sneak down to the nurses lounge to make popcorn.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said, sincerity in her voice, “Let’s get cleaned up, Elles.”

A strange feeling settled over Jake’s chest as he watched his wife and daughter. A strange feeling that maybe, just maybe. . . things will be alright.

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universecorp · 9 months

Text

Heartbeat Pt.1

Summary: After starting a situationship with your best friend from high school, things start to become complicated. Especially when you start to catch feelings.

Jaehyun x Reader Minor Haechan x Reader (In pt2 and 3 only though)

w.c.: 9.9k

Genre: Comedy, smut, and angst

Warnings: Mentions of smut, smut, Oral (F receiving), fingering (f receiving) cursing, angst, unrequited love (or is it???)

PLAYLIST: ♡

Next part ->

Friday, that day meant a lot of things. To you it was usually the day you ended up tangled in Jaehyun’s black sheets. Your friends however, had different plans. Today they made you ditch your friend for a night out on the club, which is something you hate to admit that you needed. Even if you didn’t see it, your friends knew you needed a distraction from the man you allowed to occupy your weekends. So here you were, sitting in a booth at the club while you watched your friends on the dance floor.

You usually would dance with them, but your mind was unfortunately in other places. What was he doing? Was he with another girl? Out with the guys or staying in? You couldn’t help but think about him, which completely defeated the whole reason you were here in the first place. You were gonna need a few drinks to really get your mind off of things, so you made your way to the bar. You walked around the dance floor to the dimly lit area that had a line of stools in front of the counter. You sat down, waving over one of the busy bartenders who was currently shaking a martini. “Can I get a coke and rum please?”

“Make it two.” A familiar deep voice said behind you. Before you could turn around you looked to your right where Jaehyun was now sitting. He was facing towards the bartender, so you had a perfect view of his freshly shaved undercut and his black hair that was gelled back, revealing his forehead.

“What are you doing here?” He licked his lips huffing out a small laugh at your shocked expression.

“Came out with the guys, didn’t expect to find you here too though.” You deadpanned at that, you literally texted him that you were going out tonight. Well you didn’t say where so he was entitled to his own shock as well.

“Guess I should’ve told you which club we were going to.”

“Why did you not want to see me?”

“Well it's not that… it’s just that my friends definitely won’t be happy if they see us together.” The bartender sat your drinks in front of you, to which you thanked him before taking a small sip.

“I don’t really care what your friends think, but I get it.” Jaehyun shrugged, taking a sip from his own drink.

This was all too familiar for Jaehyun to act like this. He said anything and everything to keep you as putty in his hands, but only when it was just you two. He wasn’t distant per say when in front of others, but he definitely wasn’t as flirty or affectionate with you. How you even ended up in this situation was beyond you honestly. You and Jaehyun have known each other since high school. You started out as strangers since your parents hired him to tutor you, but after discovering you went to the same high school, you began to hang out more. Jaehyun was a year above you, so that’s why your paths never crossed, but once they did you two became thick as thieves. Eventually his friends became your friends and vice versa. You remember how ecstatic you were when you got into the same college as him, and so was he. He helped you find all the good professors and took you to all the parties, and even still found time to tutor you like old times. Most weekends were spent at his apartment watching movies or recovering from frat parties. After a few drunken times that you fell into bed with him, it eventually became a part of your sober activities too. At first it was weird, if you weren’t drunk you would leave his apartment, feeling slightly ashamed of the fact that you were sleeping with your best friend. After a couple months of sleeping together you just decided it was easier than actually committing to something. Both of you got something out of it you wanted while not complicating your friendship. That is until you developed feelings for the man. You didn’t intend to and you weren’t proud of it, but you were also too scared to tell him and risk losing everything.

“Are you drunk enough to dance with me yet, or are you still scared of your friends?” You glanced over at the black haired man who was now nursing his second drink.

“Let me have one more and I'll get back to you.” You said before quickly finishing the rest of your glass and bothering the bartender for another.

“Why do you wanna dance anyways, usually i’m the one who has to drag you out at the frats?” Jaehyun shrugged, turning towards you on his stool.

“I can't dance with my favorite girl?” You hated the way your heart skipped at that. He had to know the effect he had on you, there’s no way he just acted like this towards you. You’d like to believe he did but you’ve seen him flirt with enough girls at parties to know that’s not true. Jaehyun was charming, even if he didn’t mean to be. His secret not so secret caring nature made sure of that.

“You can dance with me, I’m just surprised you want to.” He rolled his eyes at you as if what you were saying were some outlandish remark. It usually takes three drinks and you dragging Jaehyun to the dance floor. He was only two in and asking you willingly, it was scary. Maybe he’s sick.

“Why is your hand on my forehead?”

“I’m trying to make sure you’re not running a fever. You’re being weird. Why do you want to dance?” You leaned forwards more to press your hands to his cheeks.

“Y/N quit, i’m not sick. If you don’t want to dance, I'll just go find someone else who does.” You shook your head quickly which made Jaehyun smirk in response.

“Cute. Now if you’re done being fickle, can we dance already?” Jaehyun had his hand stretched out to you which you hesitantly took. He left a few bills for the tab and tip before leading you into the crowded area of sweaty, intoxicated bodies. Jaehyun settled his hands on your hips before turning you around so that his chest was pressed to your back. A small gasp left your lips when he hooked his chin over your shoulder.

“You smell good, is that a new perfume?” You felt a tinge of blush covering your cheeks at his observation. Of course he knew you changed your perfume, he notices everything even as insignificant as your nails. It makes you sick because it’s one of the things that made you fall for him.

“Yeah, got it last week.”

Jaehyun hummed lowly next to your ear, “I like it.” You licked your lips trying to distract yourself from how badly you wanted to turn around and kiss him. You wanted him to lead you out of this club and take you home, just to ruin you. You would let him be the one to ruin your friends' hard work, even though he was the last person your friends wanted you to leave with. Speaking of which, you couldn’t help but notice the way Minjeong’s lips tightened as you made eye contact with her. She and the rest of your friends were now occupying your once empty table along with Jaehyun’s friends, who were most likely too drunk to care what he was doing.

As if he could tell you were thinking too hard, Jaehyun grabbed your chin to make you look at him. “Just relax, who cares what they think.” That was so rich coming from him. Usually he’s the one that doesn’t like acting like this in public, which is why this entire thing was weird. It was no secret you were fucking, all of your friends knew, but it was like an elephant in the room. None of you ever talked about it, even after moments like this it was something that was talked about in private, in the safety of your dorm and Jaehyun’s apartment. For Jaehyun to willingly be this open, knowing that his and your friends could see you right now was insane to you. At frats he usually just danced face to face with you, but this felt almost too intimate. You wished the dance floor would collapse beneath you and swallow the two of you whole. It felt good to feel like Jaehyun was yours, but you weren’t used to it being where all eyes were on you. You were used to his husky morning voice and the mumbled praises that spilled out while he was inside of you. To him being clingy while you basked in your post orgasm bliss or while you watched movies in his bed. You were used to everything being private and it felt so good but so wrong to be like this.

Jaehyun was holding eye contact with you, as if you were the only thing that mattered. Staring deep into you as if he was trying to pick your brain, trying to understand what had you so distracted. He knew you’d never actually tell him what was wrong though, so he did the only thing he could think to do, the only thing he knew would pull you away from your thoughts. He kissed you. With his soft lips on yours, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, the music, and Jaehyun’s lips were the only things moving in time around you.

Are we datin'?

Jaehyun’s lips moved languidly against yours, his large hands squeezed your hips, causing a gasp to escape from you. You broke away for a moment to turn around, making the angle less awkward as you captured his lips in another kiss.

Are we fuckin'?

“Jae, let's get out of here.” You mumbled against his lips, gasping as he squeezed your sides once more.

Are we best friends? Are we somethin'

“What about your friends?” The smirk in his voice was evident; both of you knew where this was going.

In between that?

“They’ll understand…”

I wish we never fucked, and I mean that

With uncertainty laced in your features, Jaehyun grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the crowd, the lights, and the music. He pulled you away from all the things that were supposed to distract you from him that night. Taking you back to his apartment where he reminded you of truly why no matter how distracted you were, you would eventually turn your focus back to him.

—————————————————————————

In the morning you woke up to familiar black sheets and the manly scent that you knew all too well. Jaehyun’s arm was haphazardly thrown over your waist while his chest was pressed against your back. You could feel his level breathing on the nape of your neck, signaling he was still fast asleep. You always woke up earlier than Jaehyun, so this was usually how your mornings went. You reached for your phone, which Jaehyun must have plugged in for you,since you ended up falling asleep after having sex. The first thing that greets you is the several missed calls from Minjeong, making you cringe slightly. You knew she saw you and Jaehyun, part of you was hoping she was drunk when she made eye contact with you, but you knew better than that. You decided that an apology text was the best you could offer for now, you would talk to her tomorrow when you got back to the dorm. You scrolled through tiktok for a bit until you heard the man behind you stirring. A small groan came from him before he pulled your frame closer to his larger one, causing you to gasp a little.

“Good morning.” Jaehyun’s morning voice never failed to send shivers down your spine.

”Morning,” you mumbled back, yawning a little. A small chuckle left Jaehyun’s lips which he pressed against your naked shoulder. Peppering small kisses up to your neck where he began sucking on the fresh bruises that he created last night.

“Jae…” You sighed out, lifting your shoulders a bit to stop his assault.

“What, you don’t like it?”

You shook your head, “It’s not that, I’m just hungry.”

“Me too, not for food though.”

You whined and pushed him away playfully, in an attempt to make an escape from him and the bed. He was quicker than you and managed to grab your wrist, pulling you back down to his side. “Jae let me go cook, maybe you do actually want food, you just don’t know it yet.” Jaehyun groaned, before releasing you from his grip.

“This is a form of gaslighting you know?” You made an affirmative sound before going over to his dresser, opening the two bottom drawers to grab one of the several pairs of underwear you kept at his house and one of his large shirts. After throwing both on you made your way to his kitchen, to assess the damage of his fridge, and what kind of meal you could actually make from its little contents. To your surprise you found a full carton of eggs, some fruit and sausage.

After a few minutes you were flippings sausage over in a pan, humming to the music coming from your phone speakers. Your hips were swaying as you moved to the other burner to prevent the eggs from sticking to the pan. “Can you just move in?” Jaehyun’s sudden entrance startled you, causing your wrist to collide with the pan which was cooking the sausage.

“Ow ow ow!” You grabbed your wrist as you slid down next to the cabinets. Fresh tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to assess the damage on your wrist. Jaehyun quickly crossed the room while you seethed out profanities. Bending down to your level he gently grabbed your wrist to take a look at how bad the burn was.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, come here.” You allowed the older man to lead you to the sink where he ran your wrist under cold water. Jaehyun rubbed soothing circles under the burn, whispering our apologies and praises as he helped tend to your injury.

“You ok?” You nodded, holding the makeshift ice pack to your burn. Jaehyun took the liberty of finishing the sausage, another way of his to apologize for startling you.

“Were you serious earlier?” Jaehyun looked at you like you had two heads.

“Oh, about moving in? That was a joke dude. If I had an extra bedroom I’d probably ask, but we can’t share a room.” Humming in agreement was all you could do. Responding any way else would be a dead giveaway to how you really felt.

As far as you knew, Jaehyun was under the impression that you were fine with your current arrangement. You weren’t, but if he knew that, things would definitely go to shit. So for now you could pretend you were his for the weekend, like you did every weekend and then go back to being friends. It was a vicious cycle and you knew it wouldn’t end unless: Jaehyun found out how you felt, one of you ended up in a serious relationship, or you both mutually agreed to end things. You hoped none of them would happen, unless it was a serious relationship with Jaehyun. Once again, he couldn’t know that.

After breakfast, Jaehyun basically refused to let you lift a finger. He shooed you away to his room while he cleaned so all you could do was sit and wait for him. You had just settled into his bed and were flipping through movies on netflix when you heard a familiar ringtone coming from the kitchen. Before you could get up Jaehyun was already crossing the threshold of his room, phone in hand. Thanking him silently you hit the green answer button where a very pissed Minjeong was staring back at you. “Hi, Minnie…” even her favorite nickname couldn’t get her, you were in trouble.

“Don’t ‘Hi Minnie’ me! Is he in the room?” You shook your head.

“You seriously couldn’t go one night without him?” No amount of pouting could save you from Minjeong’s wrath. “I mean come on, you’re never gonna get over him if you don’t put some distance between you and him.” You shushed Minjeong, because despite Jaehyun being in another room, his apartment walls had quite the echo. “Don’t shush me! We’re not done! I mean seriously all the guys in that club and you couldn’t find one to fuck other than him?!”

“It’s better than me leaving with a possible serial killer!” You groaned out, growing tired of her lecturing.

“That’s true, but I highly doubt any of the men in that club were serial killers. There were guys lined up to dance with you and of course you folded when he reared his big ass head!” That was not an entirely false statement. You did deny a few advances from some of the guys at the club. “And another thing, don't think I didn’t notice the way you were acting on the dance floor, I saw all of i-! You ended the call. You could have this conversation in the privacy of your dorm tomorrow, after she cooled off and you did a bit of reflection.

“She sounded pretty angry, sure you don’t regret leaving them last night?” Glaring at Jaehyun you threw the covers over your head and began sulking. You didn’t need him reminding you of your actions, you had already had enough for one day. Feeling the bed dip next to you, you shut your eyes tight when the light from outside began peeking into your hideaway. “She’ll get over it.” Jaehyun said shortly before joining you under the covers. You grumbled curling in on yourself. Minjeong would definitely not get over it any time soon. She was going to hold girl code over your head for at least a month or until you paid for her food, whichever came first honestly.

“Stop being all pouty and watch a movie with me. I’ll send you the money for her food and it’ll all be fine.” God, you were such a bad friend that even Jaehyun knew the protocol when it came to her.

“I know it’ll all be ok but I still feel like a bad friend.” Jaehyun huffed out a laugh as he snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

“You’re not a bad friend, she probably would’ve left too, besides, Ten and Jimin were there, it’s not like you left her alone.” He did have a point. “Also I’m sure she would’ve rather you leave with me, where she knows you’ll be safe than with some stranger.” Nevermind the point was gone, because she definitely would’ve rather you left with a stranger.

“Agree to disagree.”

“Why does she hate me so much? I heard her call my head big, is it really?” You giggled a little at that, his head was a little big.

“She thinks what we’re doing is bad, and can only end in disaster. As much as I've assured her that we’re both happy with the agreement, she still doesn’t approve.” You knew Jaehyun accepted your semi-truthful answer when he let out a small hum, which made you want to sigh in relief. Most of the answer was true but the main reason was because you were getting hurt by him. He didn’t need to know that part though.

“Wait?”

“Hmm?”

“You never answered my second question.”

“Your head is a little big Jae.”

—————————————————————————

It was time for your entrance of shame. Unfortunately your day with Jaehyun had gone by much faster than you wanted, and before you knew it he was fucking you into his matress before allowing you to fall asleep in his arms. It was hard to peel yourself away from his dark sheets this morning, especially since Jaehyun had you in what could only be described as a death grip. Even so you now stood in front of your dorm room, sighing heavily as you had a one sided staring contest with the door.

“If you sigh any louder, the door just might actually open!” Busted. Turning the knob you stepped forward into your dorm, staring at a very peeved Minjeong and a less peeved Ten.

“Hey, how y’all doing?” You elongated your greeting with a nervous smile, neither of them seemed amused.

“Orange chicken, coke and fried rice. Order three servings of each.” Nodding you fished your phone out of your pocket and began placing the order.

The three of you were now sitting on the floor, munching on takeout in awkward silence. “So… was the sex at least good?” You tried to suppress your laugh as Minjeong glared at the man sitting next to her.

“This is a damn public shaming, not a damn kiss and tell bitch.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing loudly.

“Well obviously the sex was good, I wouldn’t keep going back if it wasn’t.” Minjeong could only stare at you two in disbelief, especially at Ten. He was supposed to be her good cop, but he clearly misunderstood the assignment. Ten hummed, startling slightly as a loud knock interrupted your conversation.

“Jesus christ, I swear to god if I open this door and big head is on the other side I’m gonna strangle him.”

You and Ten exchanged concerned glances as you watched Minjeong approach the door. Before she could turn the knob, the door swung open, causing your roommate to stumble backwards. A very panicked Yangyang greeted the three of you, before his eyes locked in on what he clearly came for.

“Yangyang, are you fucking serious? I gave you my location so you know I’m safe, not to stalk me!” You laughed loudly at the way the man in the doorway deadpanned at his boyfriend. Ten rarely got mad, and he wasn’t mad now, but it was so funny to see him annoyed.

“Yeah and I’m doing exactly that, glad you’re safe by the way.” Minjeong herself wasn’t immune to the exchange and you both found yourselves doubled over in laughter.

“We literally live in this building, why would I not be safe?” The exasperation in Ten’s voice was becoming even more evident as Yangyang shrugged off the question.

“Well you weren’t in the room, I had to make sure someone didn’t kidnap you, so I came here to confirm you were actually safe.” Ten simply blinked at his boyfriend.

“Are you horny?” Yangyang smiled nervously, his gums on full display as he averted his boyfriend's gaze. The man on the floor simply rolled his eyes before crossing the room, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand and leaving the dorm with a quick “see ya later, good luck.”

“Jesus, they might just be worse than you and big head. Speaking of, I’m not gonna lecture you. I know no amount of it will change anything, at this point you’re asking to get hurt anyways.” Ouch. That was mean, but she was right. You kept going back to him. Even though you knew he didn’t want you the way you wanted him, at least you got to pretend he did when you were alone with him. “At least he’s good to you when you’re alone, can’t stand the way he treats you in public though.” Minjeong grumbled, a cute pout decorating her features.

“You and me both, but I already told you, he doesn’t want anything serious, so acting like anything other than my high school bestie would be kinda suspicious.” You reasoned, shoveling some fried rice into your mouth.

“The only thing that’s suspicious is the way he acts as if he isn’t balls deep inside you every weekend.” God that sounded way harsher than it should’ve. “Literally everyone knows, just because he has his own room in his apartment doesn’t mean his roommates don’t hear you two. Also news flash his roommates are literally our friends, Doyoung and Johnny aren’t dumb.” You knew that, so did Jaehyun, but Jaehyun was stupid and as much as he pretended he didn’t care, you knew he did. If he didn’t you two wouldn’t be such a poorly kept secret. The nature of your relationship would definitely be confusing, but much less so than it is now.

—————————————————————————

Spring break approached not too long after and you currently found yourself in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s car, with a sleeping Minjeong, Ten and Yangyang in the back. Jaehyun’s hand was resting on top of your thigh while the other gripped the wheel. The wind was blowing through your hair as the warm sun beat down through the sunroof. You loved moments like these, moments where things felt normal and where Jaehyun wasn’t afraid to be affectionate, but they rarely happened when your friends were around.

Jaehyun was humming lowly to a song on the radio, while you had your eyes closed, head leaning back against the headrest. You didn’t miss the way Jaehyun’s thumb began tracing circles on your thigh, or the way his hand started moving up, edging close to where your skirt ended and your underwear began. “Jae,” you kept your tone firm, side eyeing him a little. “Ok, sorry.” He grumbled reluctantly, pulling his hand back to a safer distance on your thigh.

“How far away are we?”

“Bout 20 minutes.”

You made an affirmative sound before grabbing his phone to queue up a few songs. As you were searching you couldn’t help but notice the tinder notification that dropped down. You could feel an ugly sensation twisting at the bottom of your stomach, but tried your best to ignore it and just focus on the task at hand.

—————————————————————————

The 20 minutes went by just as quickly as they’d started and now you were getting settled. The current issue at hand was picking rooms for the singles and who would room with who. Well it wasn’t really an issue, but someone was being stubborn.

“Dude, it makes more sense for you to room with Doyoung.” Johnny deadpanned at Jaehyun.

“I mean when you think about it, I’ve known Y/N longer so does it really?” You could only stare in disbelief at your best friend.

“Jae, listen to yourself right now, you’re seriously trying to make Minnie room with Doyoung?” Jaehyun huffed at you, as if to say you weren’t helping the situation.

“It’s not like they’ll be sharing a bed, they just have to be in the same room.” You seriously couldn’t believe his reasoning right now, or why he was so adamant about you two sharing a room. Yes it was one of the rooms with a shared bed, but it’s as if he’s asking for your friends to read into the two of you more than they already were.

“God this is pointless, I’ll share a room with Doyoung. Now can someone please start making dinner?” You tried to stop Minjeong but she simply shook her head before sending a quick glare over at Jaehyun. He didn’t even flinch as he picked up his and your suitcases before taking them to the bedroom. You followed Jaehyun to the bedroom, standing in the doorframe with your arms crossed.

“Why do you want to share a room?” Jaehyun looked at you as if it was obvious, eliciting a scoff from you. “We cannot do that with everyone here, as much as you like to pretend they don’t know, they do.” He just looked away, like a child who had been caught doing something bad. “Let’s just try to have a good time.” You sighed, flopping down on the bed, removing your phone from your back pocket. Before you could turn the device on you felt a large weight on top of you, pushing all the air out of you. “Jae, get off!”

“Nah I’m good.” You rolled your eyes, trying to roll over to see if you could get him off of you, but we're stuck.

“Jae I can’t breathe,” He made a sound of indifference, dropping his head in the junction between your shoulder and neck.

“You smell good.” Usually that kind of comment would make you blush, but the loss of air was too prominent for you to process his comment.

“I’m not gonna smell good if I’m dead, get off!” A groan left the man’s lips before he rolled off of you, finally able to take a breath you sighed in content. The content didn’t last long though as you were soon being pulled onto Jaehyun’s lap. “Jae! If someone walks past we’re screwed, stop!” He simply rolled his eyes, before shushing you.

“We’ll just pretend we’re wrestling or something, chill.” He had to be on crack, why was he so chill about you being on his lap in a house full of your closest friends?

“Jeong Jaehyun, are you on something?” He only blinked up at you, as if you were the one being weird.

“No I'm not. Why are you being so weird just chill out-“ The sound of the door closing cut off his sentence and also had you jumping off of him quickly. You looked around frantically praying that it wasn’t Johnny or Mark who had closed the door. When your phone chimed you were relieved to see a text from Minjeong,

Minnie💜: next time close the door, mark almost saw y’all

“See it was a bad idea, Mark almost saw us!” The man next to you just deadpanned at you as if nothing was wrong. It made you want to scream, but instead of doing that you just got up from the bed and walked out of the room.

“Have fun in there?” Minjeong commented as you sat down on the couch next to her.

“No, because he’s being weird.” Minjeong rolled her eyes as if that was anything new.

“He’s always weird, but whatever, I think I know what you mean. Come on, dinner's almost ready.” You nod, following your roommate to the kitchen.

After dinner, you all decided to hit the beach for a bit, some of the guys ended up going into the water, while you and Minjeong stayed on land. “Did you ever figure out why dumbass wanted to room with you?” You groaned and hung your head, you knew she would ask this.

“To have sex I guess, but I don’t want to do that while all of y'all are in the house.” That was the best rationalization you could come up with, and hopefully it would also work on Jae.

“Meh, two out of five have already heard you having sex, what’s three more?” Minjeong shrugged, causing you to groan in shame.

“Yeah,but I don’t like it when Johnny and Doyoung hear us either, it’s just unfortunately inevitable.” Minjeong tossed her head side to side, pursing her lips as she thought over your words.

“Yeah, but whatever, we're here to have fun, and I’m sure you two won’t be the only ones fucking.” She motioned to Ten and Yangyang who were in the middle of a splashing battle.

“They’re actually together though.”

“Yeah, but I doubt anyone will be able to tell the difference between you and Ten’s moans, so I say use it to your advantage.”

“You’re offly calm about the situation, usually you would be telling me not to give in and shit. What's up with you?” You looked at her with a skeptical glare as she took a sip from her water bottle.

“Oh, Jaehyun said he’ll buy me food all week if I refrain from being an asshole. So as far as I’m concerned, you can be with him as much as you want.” You scoffed at her response before directing your attention to the ocean where all the guys were throwing a foam football around. Jaehyun fumbled the foam toy, but after jumping he was able to catch it before crashing down into the ocean. He reammerged shaking his head violently as his toothy grin was on full display. You see his mouth move without really hearing what any of he’s saying, but all you could think about was how good he looked with his wet hair and low hanging trunks. Especially with the water droplets that were cascading down his body. You followed one droplet that slid from his pec, through his abs and finally meeting with the dark hair of his happy trail. You couldn’t help but blush thinking about what was under his trunks. Sighing deeply you threw a hand over your face trying to think about anything but how good he looked. You shouldn’t think about him like this, especially because he never seemed to have thoughts like this about you. If he did he would never admit it out loud, but you didn’t expect him to.

—————————————————————————

“Don’t look now, I think Jaehyun wants you to join him.” It had been a bit of time and you were now sunbathing on your stomach.You hadn’t been looking at the ocean, but Minjeong’s comment made you direct your attention back towards the water. Jaehyun was indeed making his way over and he seemed to have a certain determined glint in his eyes.

“Hey loser, come swim.” Well that definitely made you want to do anything but that.

“Hey nerd, I’m good.” You scoffed in response before turning your head away from him and closing your eyes. You heard Jaehyun click his teeth before you felt a pair of hands on your sides. “Jae…” You warned, but it fell on deaf ears as he tightened his grip. Before you could protest further you were airborne. “Jaehyun, put me down!”

Jaehyun ignored you and began stalking towards the water. You kicked and screamed the whole way, no doubt causing a scene, but it was the best effort you could manage. He was carrying you like a sack of potatoes so you had a perfect view of his ass and did the only thing you could think of at that moment.

You slapped it.

Jaehyun stopped for a moment and you thought that would be enough to end his reign of terror. Apparently it had only just begun as a harsh slap landed on your bottom. You cried out in pain, slumping in embarrassment. Your friends were all looking at you and Jaehyun didn’t seem to care. You could hear the crashing waves growing closer and before you knew it your face was only inches away from the water. “Jae, I don’t wanna get my hair wet, put me down please!” You prayed he didn’t decide to just drop you out of spite, but he’s been very unpredictable lately so you didn’t know what his plan was. To your surprise he gently put you down in the water, hands lingering on your waist as he looked down at you. “Are you happy now?” Despite your unamused expression Jaehyun didn’t falter and nodded with a small smile on his lips. “Can I go back now?”

“No.”

You groaned before plopping down in the water, not caring about anything anymore, even your hair. “Stop being a baby, get up.” Jaehyun was trying his best not to laugh at your childish behavior, but the way you were pouting and refusing to make eye contact with him made it hard.

“I hope a wave drowns me.” You mumbled under your breath, but Jaehyun somehow still heard and couldn’t help the small chuckle he let out. “So you hope I die? That was your plan all along, drag me out here so you could kill me.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Am I?”

Jaehyun looked at you like you were crazy before coming down to your level. “I think the baby needs a nap.” The way he was speaking to you made you want to punch him in the face.

“I do not, I would just rather be on dry land,

then have my butt in wet sand.” He was definitely gonna clock you because you’re the one who sat down but you hoped your argument would work.

“You literally sat down in the sand-“

“Shut up big head.”

As if karma suddenly decided to punish everyone but your menace best friend a wave washed over you causing you to get soaked. Coughing up water you rubbed at your eyes to try and ease the pain the salt was causing. “Jae, it stings! Ow ow ow!” You couldn’t do anything to ease the burning but blink. All you could hear were waves and Jaehyun’s loud laughter while you were writing in agony below him.

“Guess you shouldn’t have sat down huh?” You really wanted to punch him now. Yes he was right but you didn’t have to admit that.

“Can you please help me, I can’t see.”

“Is my head big?” You were seriously going to punch him.

“I can’t see it, so no.”

“Good enough.” You assumed he shrugged before grabbing you like you weighed nothing once again.

—————————————————————————

Once back at the house you hopped in the shower almost immediately. You wanted to wash all the sand and grime off of you before you completely dried. The hot water felt good after such a long day. You were allowing the water to just run over you, taking your time and just relaxing. You were so zoned out you didn’t even notice that the shower door opened, nor did you notice Jaehyun who was standing behind you.

“It’s fucking hot in here.” Jaehyun’s deep voice caused you to jump, almost slipping on the wet tile beneath you.

“Jaehyun, fuck! Why are you here?”

“I’m showering duh.” He blinked at you, as if you were asking a dumb question.

“You couldn’t have waited ten minutes, I was almost done.” Jaehyun was a lot of things but impatient wasn’t usually one of them. He’s been acting weird since last weekend and you didn’t get why. Jaehyun was weird, but this was just plain concerning. Was he dying, did he do something that he didn’t want you to know about? All of it was so baffling, especially the fact that he was currently getting on his knees. “What are you..?” You trailed your gaze down to him. He was looking at you with an unreadable expression, one that you’re not sure you liked. Before you could protest or even attempt to make your way out of the shower, Jaehyun was grabbing you firmly by the ass and pulling you forward. “Jae, what the hell has gotten into you?” You struggled to work against his strength and unfortunately you also risked falling if you didn’t give into whatever he wanted.

“No one’s here, chill” He said that so easily and for all you knew everyone was back or on their way. “Stop worrying, I can hear your thoughts form here.” Curse him and his stupid intuition. Fighting was useless at this point, so you knew the only thing you could do was attempt to relax and give in to whatever he was planning. Suddenly it was very hard to relax when Jaehyun was throwing your leg over his shoulder, bringing his face close to your core. “You’re gonna have to be quiet, just in case they come back” He said, glancing at you.

“What if they come looking for us?” All the anxieties Jaehyun usually worried about were controlling you. You didn’t know if you were doing it for his or your sake at this point since he was so calm about the situation.

“I locked the door.” He said simply, slotting his frame closer to yours.

“They’re gonna know.”

“Let them.”

You couldn’t interject any further, Jaehyun’s mouth was on your core, causing a choked out moan to leave you. Jaehyun rarely ate you out, but when he did, he made sure it was something you would remember. You’ve had to beg him a few times to do it, which haven’t been your proudest moments, but you definitely didn’t regret them. Even now with the fear of your friends coming back and catching the two of you. Jaehyun fucked his tongue into you before pulling away to latch onto your clit. You were trying your best to keep quiet, but one glare from Jaehyun told you that he wanted you to be loud.

The sounds of Your moans and Jaehyun obscene slurping reverberated off the bathroom walls. All of it only causes you to grow closer to you high and Jaehyun’s occasional deep groans weren’t helping the situation. He was alternating between tongue fucking your cunt and sucking on your clit and now he was using two fingers along with his tongue to stretch you. “Jae, too much, I’m gonna cum.” Your words were a bit slurred which embarrassed you since it didn’t take long for you to become so fucked out. Your pleas only made him go harder, adding a third finger into your sopping heat while moving his mouth back to your clit to suck roughly. Your hands found purchase in his wet hair, pushing him closer into you as you began grinding against his mouth.

“Taste so good…” He muffled against your cunt. “All for me isn’t it?” You were silent, save for the occasional whimper you would let out. “I asked you a question.” Jaehyun squeezed your ass roughly, looking up at you through hooded lids. The scene beneath you was so filthy especially since he was still pleasuring you as he awaited your answer. You nodded, letting out a shaky breath when he mumbled, “good girl,” while still lapping at your folds.

A staccato of moans left you as you approached your high. You were gripping Jaehyun’s hair with all your might as you struggled to not collapse on top of him. “Jae… close…” You could barely get the words out as he suckled on your clit, pushing two fingers in your cunt to make up for the loss of his tongue.

It only took a few more pumps of his fingers before you were cumming. You nearly fell over from how fucked out you were, but Jaehyun managed to help you keep your balance. “You ok?” He asked from beneath you, you could only nod breathlessly, leaning back onto the shower wall as you tried to chase away the gaze of your orgasm. He stood up, towering over you with a shit eating grin, and as much as you wanted to roll your eyes you refrained. Even though you wanted to be annoyed at Jaehyun, you couldn’t since he had given you one of the best orgasms you had ever had. “Let me wash you.” Humming in agreement you handed him the shampoo bottle. He popped the cap open and proceeded to give what could only be described as the best scalp massage in history. You could feel yourself falling asleep underneath the hot stream of water, but Jaehyun was able to keep you awake with his soothing words and praises. Once he washed the suds from your hair he ran conditioner throughout before moving on to washing your body. He took extra care to be gentle on the areas he knew were most sensitive.

Once Jaehyun finished helping you, you did your best to return the favor. Much like you had he was also fighting sleep, and it was cute watching him try his best to keep his eyes open. It was also ironic that he was sleepy, considering you were the one who just came all over his face, but you figured the sun probably had gotten to him. It was especially evident when you were washing his chest, looking up and seeing the small red band of skin across his nose and cheeks. “Aww you got sunburned, did you put aloe on?”

“No, not yet.” Jaehyun yawned, looking down at you with drowsy eyes.

“At least put it on before you sleep.” You tsked, washing the conditioner out of his hair. Turning off the shower you handed him a towel after stepping out of the small space. Both of you

dried off and you immediately pulled him over to the toilet to sit down. After grabbing the aloe from your suitcase you popped the cap open and stood in front of the man. Jaehyun winced at the cooling sensation once you began the application , turning away from your touch like a child. You giggled a little, cupping his jaw to keep his head in place.

“You’re enjoying this a little too much.” His toothy grin taunted you, forcing you to look away from him.

“You always joked that you wanted me to be your personal nurse.” You teased, booping his nose for that extra annoying effect.

“Yeah once you graduate, not in your first year of nursing school.”

“You can soothe your own burns then.” Wiping the remaining aloe onto his cheek you began walking off, but in an instant he was gripping your wrist, and pulling you down into his lap.

“I didn’t say stop.” He grumbled, causing you to smirk down at him. You resumed your previous actions, spreading the remaining glob of aloe on his cheek, massaging it into his skin, making sure that the gel was applied evenly. “Thank you.” He said, placing a quick kiss on your cheek.

“No problem Jae…” To avoid him catching your blush you quickly stood up, to go grab your nightly routine items from your bag.

The two of you finished getting ready for bed together, Jaehyun refused to stop back hugging you the entire time. You complained like you hated it, but secretly you were squealing like a schoolgirl in your head. Finally you two settled into bed, cuddling together as you whispered to each other in the silence of the house. Fatigue was driving most of your conversations so they made no sense, but the sleepy chuckles that Jaehyun was letting out sounded like music to your ears. It was a sound you wanted to fall asleep to and wake up to, nothing could beat the feelings that he gave you, even if they were fleeting.

✨

It was the last day of vacation, you and the gang decided to hit up the boardwalk, initially you had all gone as a group. However due to some people not wanting to go on rides you all decided to split into small groups and of course you and Jaehyun happened to be alone.

Jaehyun had basically been dragging you around all night, but you didn’t mind. You had rode almost all the rides, save for the ferris wheel because the line was long and now you were walking while sharing some cotton candy. The silence between you was comfortable as you walked side by side. You brought up a piece of the sugary snack to his lip’s which he took, while playfully nipping at your fingertips. “Quit it, weirdo, my fingers are all sticky because of you.” You complained, inspecting the pink sugar sticking to your fingertips and nails.

“If you let me lick it off, it won’t be sticky anymore.” He grinned, gripping your hand in an attempt to force it into his mouth.

“Jae stop, people are staring!”

“Eh let them, they probably just think we’re a weird ass couple.”

“You’re the weird one not me.” You rolled your eyes, popping another piece of cotton candy in your mouth.

“Yeah sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” You were about to fight back but Jaehyun pulled you in the direction of a game before you could say anything. The both of you were standing in front of a dart stand and before you knew it Jaehyun was taking out a few bills and paying the game master. You watched silently as Jaehyun popped the balloons one by one, fully focused on his task. You hadn’t even realized he ran out of darts until he was taking another bill out for another round. You were so confused because you thought for sure he was going for the stupid looking snake plush that had a sharp red tongue pointed towards you. Then you looked up a tier and saw a large bear and it hit you. It definitely hit you when before you knew it the bear was being shoved into your grasp.

“A lucky prize for the lucky lady, he’s a keeper.” The game attendant spoke fondly looking at you and Jaehyun.

You didn’t miss the smug look Jaehyun had on his face as he looked down at you, but it melted into something you’d never seen before.

“Thanks for the bear, you didn’t have to.” You and Jaehyun were now sitting at the top of the ferris wheel, overlooking the entire boardwalk. He was pressed to your side with an arm wrapped around your waist and his head resting on yours.

“No problem, I saw you looking at it when we first got here.” Of course he did. He notices everything. Sometimes you wished he didn’t. You wished he was like most men who had to have it spelled out for them. The same men that broke your heart countless times. He was different, charming, and made you feel things that you wish you didn’t. He was supposed to be your best friend for god's sake, and here you were head over heels for someone that would probably never reciprocate your feelings. “Stop thinking so hard.” Jesus, how does he always know?

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

You huffed and attempted to scoot away from him, but he just drew you back to his side. “Jae, why do you do this?” He looked down at you as if you had two heads, puffing out a small laugh. “I’m being serious, what game are you playing at, huh?”

“I’m not sure what “game” you’re referring to.” He emphasized his words with finger quotations.

“Just the way you act. Sometimes you treat me like a friend, other times you treat me like a fuck buddy, but sometimes…” You didn’t want to continue in fear that he would catch on to you and your feelings.

“Sometimes?” He pressed, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“Sometimes you treat me… like not just a friend.” You couldn’t say the words out loud, if you didn’t outwardly admit it then it didn’t exist, right?

“You mean like a girlfriend?”

Fuck.

“Yeah… like that.”

A deep sigh came from him and you hated it. It sounded wrong, not like his usual sighs, no, this was a sigh of annoyance. “Look… I guess the way I act can make things confusing, but we both agreed on no feelings.” You didn’t say anything about feelings, why was he bringing up feelings? “I’m not saying you have feelings for me, but everything I do is strictly because of our arrangement. Don’t get it twisted ok?” Nodding you swallowed the lump in your throat as you avoided eye contact. He knows, there’s no way he doesn’t. This is it, your arrangement is over and you lost the one thing you never had to begin with. The small car in the ferris wheel is starting to feel suffocating and you wish you could just get to the bottom already, but you were only about halfway there.

You spent 5 more minutes trapped in suffocating silence before your car finally touched the ground again. You quickly exited, not even bothering to look back at Jaehyun. It was time to meet up with your friends anyway so you made a beeline for Minjeong when you spotted her, quickly taking her hand in yours. You were practically dragging her behind you and if the unshed tears in your eyes weren’t enough to tell her something was wrong your rushed behavior certainly was.

“Hey, I need you to breathe, what’s wrong?” She was able to redirect you into an alley where who she assumed was the issue wouldn’t see you.

“I think he knows.” The tears were breaking free now, clouding your vision as you spoke.

“Knows what, what does he know?” You were trying to give her an answer between your stuttered breaths but the words were just getting stuck in your throat. After a few moments though Minjeong put it all together. “Oh… love I’m so sorry.” She knew this wasn’t the time to be a smartass. As much as she didn’t like your arrangement, she would never invalidate you when you were this distraught. “Let’s go back to the house and we can go talk about it on the beach, I’ll see if I can get Doyoung to move into your room if you want?”

“No, if I go to a different room it’ll only confirm his hunch. I just need to stick it out for this last night.”

—————————————————————————

You and Minjeong returned to the house much later than everyone. You had sat out on the beach for a while just talking. A good chunk was about the elephant in the room, but you also changed the subject just to lighten the mood. By the end of it you felt less dreadful walking back into your room, even when you made eye contact with Jaehyun. He was laying in bed, shirtless, scrolling through his phone. You hoped he wouldn’t bring up the calls you missed from him and when you were able to walk into the bathroom after grabbing your pajamas, you figured you were off the hook.

After a very long shower and diving into your more extensive skincare routine, you finally walked into the room. Jaehyun had finally fallen asleep to your surprise and relief so you felt less nervous having to slip in next to his sleeping frame. You tried to leave some space between the two of you, and initially it was fine, but only after a few minutes Jaehyun had his arm around your waist. You weren’t surprised when he pulled you into his chest, you should’ve known it was too good to be true that he would actually be asleep.

“After tonight… we should end this.”

“Kay.”

—————————————————————————

The next morning was awkward.

You and Jaehyun packed up your bags in silence and once you two left your room, it was very apparent that something was amiss.

You wanted to laugh when Mark mumbled “Looks like mom and dad are fighting,” to Johnny who just elbowed him in response. Could it even be called a fight? You two just woke up and decided not to speak to each other, but you didn’t think it was a fight.

Finally all your bags were packed up in the car and all of you were piling into the vehicles. Jaehyun still helped you with your bag, which annoyed you for some reason. You kept having to remind yourself that you two were still friends, it’s just that you weren’t fucking anymore.

The whole ride back you were texting with Minjeong. It felt like the two of you were on the beach again with what you were talking about. Every now and then Jaehyun would steal glances at you, but you didn’t flinch or react. He was probably worried since he was Mr. Heartbreaker, but somehow you were taking everything well. You knew you could still talk to him and hangout, but you would need a little bit of time to get over your feelings.

After a few hours Winter, Ten, Yangyang, and yourself were being dropped off at the dorms. You all waved Jaehyun goodbye, but we’re confused when he didn’t immediately pull off, and when he was motioning for you to come over. Winter and the two men took that as their cue to give you some privacy, promising to meet you in the dorms afterwards.

“Something wrong?” You asked, standing a small distance away from his car.

“Are we cool, like we’re still friends right?” That was a dumb question, but you guess the silent treatment was probably confusing him. You were just doing what he was though, but I guess he wanted you to take the lead for once.

“Yeah we’re friends, we just won’t be doing… that anymore, but we’re friends.” Why was this starting to feel more awkward than the beach house?

“Cool… have a good day.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Then he sped off.

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chairteeth · 9 months

Text

“Nemu Hiiragi: The Shadow”

The promised Magius Nemu essay arrives. I have given up on proper essay formatting and will simply leave my analyses in semi-rant form because my brain is too chaotic and goes on too many tangents. It cannot be tamed. Informal essay under the cut!

So. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard others refer to Nemu as a shadow, Touka 2.0, or some other frankly reductive term. Most of the time, unless her creations come up, she’s not discussed at all, and even then… barely. That’s not exactly surprising. Given Nemu’s normally calm demeanor, and the fact that she and Touka are joined at the hip, it’s only natural that Touka would be the one to get the most attention, the one who stands out. Where Touka is the boisterous sun, Nemu is the humble moon. Today, we turn our eyes to the moon.

There is so much to talk about when it comes to Magius Nemu and pretty much all of it is going to make you really sad. Much like Touka and all other magical girls, she led a double life the entire time, but in her case, when she “traded one terminal illness for another” she got the short end of the stick. Imagine being a writer and discovering that your magic allows you to give physical form to your stories, to breathe life into your creations—literally. Now picture finding out later down the line that each time you use it, it consumes so much magic that it shaves off pieces of your very life force. That’s one slap in the face. But, it gets worse.

Let me lay out everything we know about how Magius Nemu’s sacrifices affected her physically, and how each of the people around her responded to her worsening condition. First, we know it causes pain severe enough to temporarily affect her vision and speech, and severe enough to make her fall to the ground, though she doesn’t always faint from it. We know it inflicts exhaustion and that even something like releasing an uwasa for the first time can make her pass out on the spot, so presumably it’s a lengthy process that takes a toll on her at every stage (well not sure about conceptualization, but creation and release definitely do). A voiced example of one of these episodes is in Arc 1 Chapter 8, 4:02:36 - 4:03:43 if you're watching the video.

Now, as for the people around Nemu, starting from more distant to closest. Her family? Oblivious, responsible for her state of emotional deprivation and for several other issues. Alina? Ehh she seems to either not care or care very little, which is properly Alina-esque of her. Mifuyu? Oh let me talk about MIFUYU for a second. Disclaimer, despite her many sins committed against my favorite characters, I do love the sheep, she’s too much of a failure, I cannot hate her. But Mifuyu “I want to be a nurse” Azusa is insensitive beyond belief, and I was honestly surprised when they appointed her to be some sort of… ethics teacher for Touka? Bruh. You see, an MGS is supposed to put us in the shoes of whatever character it’s about. That’s what it does. However my brain is broken and perceives the world from a TouNemu perspective by default. Which means I had a completely different reading of Mifuyu’s MGS. I am going to illustrate my point with screenshots this time because I happen to have them on hand.

Mifuyu says this about Touka and Nemu getting worked up over Alina wanting to prioritize witches above rumors. But. Here’s the thing. The thing that Mifuyu seems to be missing completely. Rumors are created by Nemu, through a sacrifice of her own life force that worsens her pain and makes her suffer more with each subsequent use. Evidently, the girls reply that no, they don’t think they were getting too emotional.

YOU THINK? Have you given any thought to why that could possibly be the case, Mifuyu? But, okay, fine, we can look past this. Alright. Next scene, it’s Touka and Nemu being upset that Yachiyo just destroyed the Divorce Stairs (I call them that, but for clarification, it’s the Friendship-Ending Staircase). I’m going to bring something up that I don’t believe is exactly contradicted by canon, though not confirmed either, but I’d be willing to believe by the fact that Nemu knows of Iroha (by name and I assume appearance) that there’s a psychic link of some kind between the uwasa and their creator. That would make sense, considering they are made of her magic and have pieces of her life force. If this is true, then that massacre Iroha and Yachiyo go on during Arc 1 Chapter 7 is far, far worse.

But alright, back to the scene. Touka is standing up for Nemu here, and Mifuyu proceeds to go and dismiss their feelings because, as she says in her thoughts, “they’re just children”. Okay, Mifuyu, hear me out. They’re 11-12. They’re not toddlers. Just because they’re children doesn’t make their emotions invalid, unimportant, or not worth considering. Particularly in this case, where they have a good reason to be upset. Nemu even mentions the life force she’s using up and Mifuyu’s first and only thought is “Yacchan…” (this is a repeating pattern).

The next relevant scene is one where Mifuyu does something Alina has also done and Touka hasn't: ask Nemu to make a rumor for her.

Nemu reminds her that it comes at a cost, and that she’s using up her life for this. Nemu gives in, of course. I will talk about this imminently. First though, the final scene of Mifuyu’s MGS. Where Mifuyu repeats the previous pattern but worse. How exactly is it worse? I’ll let the screenshots speak for themselves here. Nemu and Mifuyu meet at the shrine where the uwasa is going to be released, Nemu does the deed, and faints, then Mifuyu reacts like this:

These screenshots are less than a second apart. It is the immediate follow-up. Absolutely zero concern for one of the people she’s supposed to be responsible for who just did her a pretty big favor (as if you needed someone’s blood to open a door, they stabbed themselves to get you the blood, and then you left them on the ground in pain). So yes Mifuyu is insensitive and she is not helping Nemu’s view of adults. Relatedly, before I move to talking about Touka, since I’d like to actually end this on a non-depressing note, I’m going to circle back a little to Nemu’s family.

I am infamous for not liking Nemu’s family. Her parents, mainly. Her brother, for as much of a snotty brat as he is to her, is presumably still very tiny and has had scarce interactions with his sister, therefore leading to the way Nemu describes their relationship (“strangers”). As a slight aside, Nemu does try very hard to have a relationship with her brother, not only in her MGS, but in her solo Christmas quotes where she’s lost on what to get as a gift for a kid that likes soccer and asks Homescreen-chan for advice. And you see, Nemu has this thing where once you get past a certain point with her, she becomes a people pleaser. Unlike when Ui’s parents have visited before (seen in TouNemu’s Christmas MGS), Nemu was shocked to hear that her mother and brother had come to see her. This leads me to believe the visits are an extremely rare occurrence and that there is no other contact besides them. Ui’s parents at least video call her, from what the quotes say.

And now we have reached the point where it’s unavoidable and I have to talk about Nemu’s emotional trauma. Her family does not seem to know about her writing, which was a good call because it shielded her from much of the gifted kid trauma. However, that doesn’t mean her parents’ actions (or lack thereof) were without consequence. A lot of these might be subconscious, so bear with me a second. At this point in the timeline, Nemu struggles to believe that others will meet her needs or care for her. She seeks affirmation, acceptance, approval, and fortunately seems to get it in the form of her website and Touka during this era.

Let me give you some examples of Nemu’s people-pleasing tendencies, as any kid would learn that catering to the needs and desires of others can sometimes lead to a sense of belonging or validation—she explicitly wants that, she is aware that she wants to feel loved. This is immensely obvious with her family’s visits, where her first reaction isn’t good but then she plays along and puts up a happier face (which drops literally as soon as her mother and brother are out of the room), even apologizing for the slightest inconvenience regardless of whether or not the reaction to that inconvenience was bad (the book that was hard to find, the general Presence™ of her family in the room, apologizes again for talking about her feelings, etc). So that she doesn’t have to burden them with her feelings. So that her mother can feel like she’s fulfilled her duty by walking into the room, giving Nemu a rundown of what the family has been up to, and leaving without really actually spending any real quality time with her or bothering to really ask about her. Touka gets (righteously) angry in Nemu’s stead once her mother and brother have left precisely because of this. Nemu proceeds to, like many children in her position, defend her parents completely and then chastise herself for “looking down on them”. Touka and Ui both understand at least the heart of the issues at play here, and express as much. My point here isn’t exactly “Nemu’s parents are equivalent to Sana’s” or anything, it’s more that they’re extremely oblivious and their actions (and lack thereof) have hurt Nemu deeply.

That habit Nemu’s parents have of never truly showing interest in their daughter’s life seems to remain after the hospital, and then they’re focused on her brother’s comfort. Not Nemu’s. Never Nemu’s. Then, later on, in the Wings of the Magius, every time someone asks her to make a rumor (read: sacrifice a piece of her life force and make herself feel physically worse presumably forever), she agrees. Mifuyu asks her to, yeah sure. Alina wants a rumor? Of course. I won’t count when everyone asked her for stuff to add to Fendt Hope solely because I’m not sure Fendt Hope works like normal rumors do. Something, something, difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, struggling to distinguish her own needs from the needs of others…

A child who learned that her voice and desires were not prioritized in such critical stages of her life naturally struggles to articulate her own needs and wants. Prime example, Fendt Hope’s creation. She listens to the others give their ideas for it, never suggesting anything herself after reminding them of her usefulness. Until. Touka asks. When she does, Nemu seems almost taken aback. She apologizes. Nothing comes to mind. That very same day, she gets home, tries again to have some sort of positive interaction or time with her brother, gets rejected. As soon as an alternative form of service (doing the dishes for her exhausted mother so that she may help her brother with homework) presents itself, she practically jumps at the opportunity. The scene after that one, with the way she views Touka, Alina, and Mifuyu, vs the way she views her mother and brother, only makes this more obvious. How is Nemu supposed to feel any sense of value at home? At least as a magical girl, she’s useful. At least as a Magius, she has people who know her. The feelings of low self-worth aren’t as obvious on Nemu as they are on many of the other girls who have them, though.

The next time there’s a Magius meeting, this time to decide on a name for their base, Touka is again the one who asks Nemu for her opinion. It’s important to note that Touka is never once hostile, aggressive, or even annoyed when she does this. She considers Nemu’s thoughts and feelings more than anyone. Heck, Nemu would have no way to doubt Touka’s care for her considering their history and the way she acts.

Now I get to talk about the relationship between Magius Nemu and Magius Touka. If I start gushing incoherently, I apologize in advance. I covered a bit of Magius Touka’s attitude towards Nemu in the essay dedicated to her, and slightly in this one, but now I want to draw attention to how incredibly sweet Touka can be when it comes to Nemu. Nemu desperately needs that reliability and that love Touka provides, the hope she brings. And Touka is the one person who openly shows her care, attention. Over and over again.

Touka considers Nemu an equal. During the main story, as I said in my Magius Touka essay, she shows concern for Nemu’s health and wellbeing when no one else does. This goes beyond her magic-given affliction! I only wish we had more bits and pieces from that era, but as for what we do have… Well, I have to point at Nemu’s swimsuit costume story for the easiest and shortest point of reference. I’d use screenshots, but if I did, I would just end up showing you every single piece of dialogue and expression.

In that costume story, Touka and Nemu are at Fendt Hope, talking about their future trip to the beach (which they made plans for together in Touka’s swimsuit costume story). Nemu has her insecurities, and she’s shy about putting on the swimsuit, but then Touka proceeds to be incredibly supportive by first making her feel comfortable—for some reason she also had her own swimsuit lying around and offered to wear it too because Nemu mentioned it’d be embarrassing if she was the only one wearing a swimsuit and Touka was wearing clothes—then as soon as Nemu expresses self-doubt, she doubles down via genuine compliments (these two compliment each other way more than you think, even in main story Touka praises Nemu for her ideas). This is also a rare occasion where we’re shown that Nemu’s parents, or her mom at least, who seems more present than her dad, mean no harm, since it was Nemu’s mother who helped pick out every element of her swimsuit. After that, Touka goes off to change back into her school uniform, and Nemu is “uncharacteristically giddy” (as she states) looking at herself in the mirror. Touka gets back, and Nemu is startled to have been caught in a vulnerable state, but, critically, Touka is happy to see her happy and doesn’t tease her, although Nemu (jokingly, blushing) laments that letting Touka read her heart is the greatest failure of her life. Nemu asks Touka to listen. And Touka complies. Nemu trusts Touka with her heart, with her honest feelings, and knows Touka will never hurt her. That’s why she’s able to be so sincere with her. This is shown in Nemu’s Tap 8 quote, where she also refers to Touka as trustworthy (Touka has a matching Tap 8 quote, and hers is about how reliable Nemu is for her). This relationship, no matter what it is, is deeply important to both participants.

Finally, to end this glorified rant… I know I used the sun and moon metaphor earlier, but. I would like to borrow the words of Nemu in one of my fics: “It’s silent at night. Touka stays up with her telescope, I stay up reading nearby. We are stardust brought to life. A quiet place, just for us. The gentlest fire in us, like binary stars.” (I’m sorry but the binary stars comparison is too good not to mention). Their connection was there before the Magius, and after everything they went through, their lives became irreversibly bound, intertwined beyond the understanding of quite literally anyone else. They practically always speak in plural, the time they spend together has been on the rise, and at the time of writing? To avoid spoiling Arc 2 Chapter 12, I won’t go into specifics, but the relationship has reached a beautiful point that I will froth at the mouth about eventually.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the Nemu essay, I went slightly more feral this time so apologies for that. I’ll see how soon the hospital era essay can be thrown into the wild. Nishi out!

#magia record #essay #nemu hiiragi #hi I'm back to torment you all #today we have:#very sad girl who needs a hug #nishiposting

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angel-ixily · 11 months

Text

Two of the Same ~Pt 3~

Pairings: Tim Drake//Red Robin x gn!Reader

Fandom: DC Universe

Warnings: Use of language, mentions of violence and wounds

A/N: This is the last chapter, and I’ll be honest, I haven’t proofread much of it, and it’s kind of long! I’m so sorry, loves! I just don’t see enough Tim fanfics on here, and he’s one of my favorite characters ever, so I decided to make some for you! Enjoy!

Summary: Every night a masked vigilante comes into Y/N's bedroom, and to their knowledge, it's to "clean his wounds." But the visits go deeper than that when underneath that mask, unbeknownst to Y/N, is their classmate, Tim Drake, who has a huge crush on them.

— — —

Two of the Same ~pt 1~

Two of the Same ~pt 2~

~~~~~~~~

Are we dating? Are we together? I’m not entirely sure.

I still have no clue who Red Robin is underneath that mask. I have no idea who he is, and it’s killing me. I’ve asked him about it, and he keeps saying “soon.” Like, when’s soon? How soon? It’s already been 2 months, and I’m still not sure what soon means. Does he even know when soon is? I’ve known the guy for almost 2 years, we’ve been all mushy gushy for almost 3 months.

It’s literally killing me.

Does he think that I’m going to hate his face? He wears a thin mask that only covers his eyes. I’ve already seen half of it, and I don’t hate it.

I put down the pencil and notebook that I had just finished writing my thoughts in as soon as I heard my phone buzz.

I smiled when I saw that Tim had sent me another text. In fact, he had sent me two texts.

I squealed and jumped out of my bed, running across the hall and into the bathroom to start the shower. I then ran out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom to get a change of clothes, and some of my hair stuff.

“Y/N! What are you doing in there?” My father asked from what I think was the living room.

“My friend invited me out, and I’m pretty excited, sorry!” I announced. My parents were muttering to each other for a moment and the last sentence I heard was-

“Y/N never gets that excited about hanging out with Jackie..” I laughed at that until I heard my mothers voice.

“Is it that boy? The one you’ve been texting?” She asks. I pause for a moment.

“How do you know about that?” I say as I peek my head out into the hallway.

“Oh come on, Y/N. Your phone bill went up 25 dollars this past month, and you get super excited when your phone lights up with a notification. The only reasonable explanation is a boy.” She stated.

Curse my parents for being lawyers.

And curse me for being so obvious with it.

“Yeah well. It is a boy.” I agree, taking all of my stuff into the bathroom with me.

“Well just be safe, okay? And make sure he’s not in any gangs?” She asked of me.

“But if he is in one, tell us so that we can go against him in court and make money!” My father added, before I closed the door. I rolled my eyes, smiling, as I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into our shower.

I had to exit the shower real quick, though, because I forgot to press play on my music.

When I stepped back in, the warm water felt nice against my back, but because my parents loved high water pressure, it felt like pebbles of rocks were being thrown at me, which was annoying. But I had to do what I had to do.

I washed my hair, shaved my legs, washed my body 3 times with 3 different soaps, and then a scrub. When I stepped out, I smelled like the colors of the rainbow, and immediately wrapped a towel around my body and hair, so that the cold air wouldn’t give me pneumonia.

I did a facial routine as I waited for my body to dry, and took my damp hair out of the towel as I finished up.

I don’t want to take too long and bore you dear reader as I explain what I did for the remainder of the time before Tim got there, so let me just speed things up for you.

I brushed out my hair, dried off my body, put my clothes on, dried my hair, proceeded to sing along to a bomb ass song on my playlist with the brush as my microphone, and the hair dryer blowing my hair back for dramatic effect, styled my hair, brushed my teeth, and walked out of the bathroom just in time because Tim had texted me notifying me that he was outside.

I told him I’d be right out, and I went into my bedroom to grab a pack of mint gum and my wallet just in case.

“Alright. Well I’m about to head out. I love you guys, and don’t have too much fun without me.” I told my parents as I walked past them in the living room.

“Have fun honey! Oh! And gangs! Careful of the gangs!” My mom yelled as I began to walk out the door.

“Money!” My father yelled immediately when I closed the door.

How silly my parents could be. And then I’d wonder where I got it from.

I basically ran down the hallway and down the stairs, until I came in view of the front door leading out to the street. I fixed my hair real quick, and adjusted my outfit, and walked out of the door.

In my view had to be one of the nicest cars I had ever seen, and inside of it was none other than Tim Drake. I smiled at him, and opened the door of the car.

“Hey!” I said as I sat in the seat. He smiled at me.

“You look beautiful.” He commented immediately. I blushed.

“Oh uh. Yeah thanks. You look nice too!” I complimented back. He chuckled, and pointed to the seatbelt.

“Don’t forget to buckle yourself in. I like to think I’m a good driver, but you never know what could happen.” He waited until I buckled myself in so that he could pull out and onto the street.

“So the cafè is a little of a ways from here, but that’s fine! It’s a really nice place, and I can’t wait to take you there.” He commented, glancing over to me. I smiled brightly.

“I can’t wait! I saw it on your Instagram last night, and it looks like a really comfortable environment!” A devious smirk covered his lips.

“I haven’t posted on my instagram in 3 months, Y/N.” He paused. “Were you stalking my Insta?” He asked. I rolled my eyes.

“It’s really aesthetically pleasing. How could I not look at it!” I tried to explain myself. In reality, I really just liked looking at photos of him, which sounded creepy. But to my defense, there was something about him that, and though I hated to admit it, attracted me to him.

Tim was cute, and smart, and funny. He cared about me and always asked if I was doing alright. He came to school more often now, and I had really started to like him. But my main issue was that I also really liked Red Robin. It made my heart hurt knowing that I couldn’t have both, and that I liked Tim while liking the masked vigilante.

“Are you okay?” Tim asked. I looked over to him, while he kept glancing at me, a concerned look in his eye.

“Oh I’m fine! I’m just thinking about a friend right now.” I told him. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Jackie?” He questioned. I laughed. I might as well be thinking of Jackie after she told me of her pregnancy scare last night, but my thoughts wandered elsewhere.

“Not exactly. Though I do worry about that girl sometimes. She’s a little crazy.” I comment, turning my body a little to face him. “Who knows. Maybe I was thinking of you!” I say, a small smile playing my lips. He blushes.

“I’d be honored if you were.” He smiles at me as we pull next to a sidewalk, with the supposed cafè right next to it. It was in Gotham square, and Tim was right, it did look comfortable.

I went to open my side of the car door, but Tim told me to hold on, and jumped out of the car. He closed the door and ran to the other side to open it for me.

“Sorry about that.” He said, as I got out of the car.

“What a gentlemen.” I teased as he closed the door behind me. He smiled, and we walked up to the door to the cafè. This time, I opened it for him.

“My turn now.” I joked. He laughed, and I followed behind him inside. It was quiet, and I could see why this would be Tim’s favorite place to be. It reminded me so much of him, actually. Quiet, peaceful, calm. And if cozy was a word I could use to describe a person, he’d be cozy.

“Tim! Hi!” A girl with long blonde hair said behind the counter. She noticed me and smirked. “Who’s this lovely person with you?” She asked.

“I’m Y/N.” I say, smiling at her. She returns it with a pearly grin.

“The usual, Timmy?” She asked. Tim nodded, and she turned to me. “And you, my love?” She asked. I really liked this girl. She seemed super sweet and enthusiastic.

“Can I get an iced peppermint latte?” I asked. She nodded.

“That’s my favorite too.” She commented, placing up the total. “And I’ll use the family discount for ya, Timmers.” She said, clicking some buttons on the screen. “Your total is 18.61.” She looked up at us and I took out a twenty in my wallet. Tim shook his head.

“I got it! Besides, she’s my sister. I’d never hear the end of it.” He said to me, putting his card into the machine. I stared at the two of them.

“You guys are siblings?” I asked. The girl nodded.

“Yep! Tim here is my little brother! Adoptive, that is. But still!” She beams down at him. He rolls his eyes.

“You’re older by a year. I’m not that much younger.” He reminded her, a smirk tugging his lips. She shrugged.

“Still younger!” She pressed one more button on the screen. “I’ll get those orders right out for the two of you!” She announced before she turned around to make the drinks.

I look over to Tim and he takes a breath. “Let’s sit at my favorite spot. Over here.” He leads the way to a cute little booth by the window, and we sit down across from one another.

“I would have never guessed that was your sister.” I laughed, glancing back at her as she was making the drinks.

“Yeah, my father has a habit of adopting kids. I have 7 older siblings, and one younger sibling.” He informs me. My jaw drops.

“No way!” I say, shocked. He nods.

“Yeah. Kate is the oldest, then comes Babs, Luke, Dick, Jason, Cass, Steph, me, and Damian.” He tells me, tapping his fingers on the table. I start to giggle.

“What?” He asks, a smile forming on his face.

“You give off little brother vibes, is all. Like, I could have figured you were one of the youngest in the family.” I joke. He begins to hide his smile as he shakes his head.

“Everybody says that, and I hate it.” I reach across and put my hand on his shoulder. He freezes, and blushes.

“It’s alright. I’m sure you still keep up with all of them.” I rub my thumb on his shoulder before I pull away. The blush deepens on his cheeks.

“I’m an only child. My parents saw how much of a hassle one child was, and dismissed any talk about having other children. I don’t think they regretted their decision.” I told him. A look of concern spread on his lips.

“Why? Were you that bad of a kid?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No. I’m just straight up my parents child. I act just like both of them, and they didn’t want to know what personality another one of their potential children could have. Having one that shared the same traits of theirs was enough.” I responded. Tim looked out the window.

“None of the adopted kids in my family are like Bruce. We all share similar traits, but we’re nothing alike. Dick is overly positive, Jason is overly negative, Babs is badass, Steph is sarcastic, Cass is quiet, Luke is wise, Kate is serious. The closest one to Bruce is probably Damian, who is his biological son.” Tim spoke, nodding his head as he finished his sentence.

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

“What about you?” I repeated, staring at him straight in the eyes. “What do you have in common with him?”

“I don’t know. My logic? Maybe? I think I’m just like you. I’m probably my biological parents child.” He declared. I nodded.

“Nothing wrong with that! But I think you shouldn’t hold yourself to a lower standard then the rest of your siblings. You all share your qualities, and I really like yours.” I smile at him, and he returns it, making it my turn to blush.

“This may sound cheesy to say, but I like hanging out with you. We should do this more often.” He commented. I laughed, crossing my arms.

“Why? Because you like me complimenting you?” I asked. His eyes widen, and he shakes his head.

“No! No, no, no! You’re just super fun, and… you’re uhm.. you’re a good person so…” He starts to stumble across his words and I shake my head.

“I was just teasing you, Tim. I like hanging out with you too.” We both stop smiling as we’re staring into each others eyes. From the lighting in this cafè, he looks like an angel. It’s lighting up his raven black hair, and making him look even more beautiful in that sweater. The softness of this cafè make his features softer too. A part of me hopes that the reason that he looks so calm and relaxed is because he’s with me.

Or maybe I’m a narcissist who thinks everything is about them. Who knows!

“Tim and Y/N?” We hear Tim’s sister call. We look over and see her standing by the counter with two drinks. Tim and I both get up to get them.

“Thanks, Steph.” He thanks her, grabbing both of our drinks. I pull out my wallet again, and place the twenty that I was going to use earlier to pay, into the tip jar.

“Keep Y/N, Tim. Keep them. They’re perfect.” Steph calls out. Tim hands my drink to me, blushing.

“Shut up!” He yells as we exit the cafè. I laugh.

“Oh shit! I didn’t even ask! Did you want to stay in there or did you want to go to the park now?” He asked. I smiled.

“We can go to the park now if you’d like.” He nodded and opened the car door for me.

“Thanks, Tim.” I told him once he got in. He shot me a toothy grin. We put on our seatbelts and he started the car.

“Anytime! Like I said, I like spending time with you. Making you comfortable is what’s most important to me.” He pulled out of the square. I stared at his hands on the wheel. My eyes trailed to his face. He was biting his lip, and I noticed a small scar on the bottom one.

“What happened to your lip?” I asked him, reaching across to hover my thumb over it. His face flushed and he glanced over to me.

“Some crazy guy on the street. He attacked me, and one of those vigilantes must have been nearby or something, and he saved me.” He explained, putting on the turn signal and turning left. I felt my heart skip a beat.

“Do you know which one it was? That saved you?” I asked. He stayed quiet for a moment.

“The red one. Kind of slim. Black hair. He fights using a long stick.” I smiled. Yep. Of course it would be Red Robin. I sat there smiling to myself, bringing my drink to my lips, but stopped when I had come to a realization.

Black hair. My eyes trailed up to take a look at Tim’s hair. Raven black. A middle part similar to Red’s. My eyebrows furrowed.

My eyes then trailed down to his body. He always wore oversized clothes, but his exterior was definitely not huge. He was a pretty skinny guy. Slim like Red.

And then my eyes trailed back to the scar on his lip. The same place that Red’s lip had been busted at.

And isn’t it so convenient that both Tim’s and Red’s arms had been broken in the same spot? And both of them being the right arm? And in the same week?

My heart started to beat faster, and my eyes widened.

“When did you get attacked?” I finally asked him after a long moment of silence. He was now pulling into the park.

“Uhh like 2 months ago? Yeah, it was kinda bad. What you get for living in Gotham I guess.”

My heart stopped.

I felt ringing in my ears.

Everything around me turned to slow motion, and I just stared at him.

There was no way that nerdy, quiet, billionaire’s son Tim Drake, who had much better things to do with his time and money, would go out at night and defend civilians of Gotham from all the chaos and destruction. There was no way. And how would he keep this secret from his family? They couldn’t of known, right?

But at the same time, it all made sense. All of the injuries that he had had over the years, how he’d sleep during most of his classes, and look exhausted whenever he’d show up at school. How he would act towards me.

The one thing that stumped me was that Red and Tim had two different personalities. Red Robin was mysterious, quick witted, confident, athletic. Tim was quiet, reserved, open, extremely intelligent, anxious, and bashful. There was no way that he was the masked vigilante that came into my bedroom every night. No fucking way!

Or maybe I was just trying to convince myself that.

“Y/N?” Tim’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked over to see my side of the door open, and Tim waiting by it. “Y/N are you coming?” He asked. I nodded.

“Yeah! Yeah! Sorry! Just got lost in my thoughts for a moment. I was thinking about a mystery.” I excused as I grabbed my drink and got out of the car. Tim scoffed amused.

“Are you okay?” He asked as I shut the door behind me. I nodded quickly.

“Yeah- yeah. I’m fine. I’m good. I was just thinking about a notebook. Yeah. The notebook that I kept open on my bed. I hope that my parents don’t read it. They can be kind of nosy.” I added. I waited for Tim as he walked up to me.

“I thought you said you were thinking of a mystery?” He questioned.

I laughed nervously, not looking up at him. I was scared that my hypothesis was correct, and that he was Red Robin. “Yeah. The mystery of whether my parents looked into my notebook.” I say, as I begin walking next to him. I squeezed my drink, feeling the water on the outside of the plastic cup soaking my hand.

“Nah I’ve been there. The amount of times that my siblings have went through my stuff is astonishing. They might be nosier than your parents, and they’ll make fun of me for it!” He chuckled and I felt him look at me. I could feel him examining me. Analyzing for any clue as to what may or may not could have been wrong.

Reading every aspect of me. Something the “worlds second best detective” would do.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, stopping mid-walk. He lightly grabbed my arm. I stopped too.

Slowly but surely, I looked up at him and into his dark blue eyes. Those blue eyes that I knew all too well. The pupil impossibly dilated, covering most of the iris. The waves of color that were visibly calm in my presence.

This time, unlike the time when we had first kissed, I noticed that we were standing oddly close to one another.

“Have you ever had something happen in your life that changed the course of it forever? And you can’t find an explanation for it, but when you finally do, it just comes at you like a train?” I asked him. The confusion was visible on his face, and he looked in between both of my eyes, possibly unsure of which one to look at.

Or he was trying to find an explanation for my words.

“I… yeah. Yeah I have.” He answers, looking at my lips nervously, before looking back up to my eyes. The triangle method. What a classic.

“Huh..” I said, before closing the space between us, pressing my lips against his. He seems taken aback for a second, before he began to kiss back, wrapping his arms around my waist, bringing me closer.

His kiss was soft, and gentle. It’s intoxicating, passionate, and slow. And once I realize that I have kissed these lips before, I feel faint. I don’t pass out, but my heart races, and my hands become shaky as I drop my drink to the floor, scaring both of us as we pull apart.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” He exclaims, looking down at the green and brown coffee in the ground. I could care less about the damn coffee, and instead I’m too busy marveling at the boy in front of me.

“It’s okay. It’s fine. I’m just-” I stare at him in awe. I want to laugh, but I can’t seem to form a coherent sentence. I just stare at him. He stares back after a moment, and a large smile appears on his face.

“Again, this may sound cheesy, but I’ve waited so long to do that.” He exclaims, smiling impossibly bigger, his face a beet red.

I giggle. “Is that so?” I ask him, knowing that he kissed me last night. He nods. “Then it’s a date.” I say as I happily wrap my arms around his left arm, continuing our walk.

He was blushing the whole rest of the “date.”

~~~~~~~

To my surprise, my parents did not go through my notebook, and they had left a little after I did. Lucky me!

But currently. As I did every night, I waited for my injured crusader to pop up at my window. My heart beating with excitement with every moment that passed.

When I was with Tim earlier, I was too astonished to tell him that I knew of his midnight persona, but I was going to tell him when he showed up, which I knew he would. After you spend a day with your crush, and you literally kiss them, how could you not visit them at late hours of the night in a spandex suit? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?

At around 9:12, which is pretty early for him, he knocked at my window, and I opened up.

“Hey, stranger.” I greeted sarcastically, a huge smile covering my lips.

“Good evening random civilian. Do you have any clowns in your humble abode?” He asked, as he climbed in through the window. I stepped back, allowing him some space.

“Not that I know of. But I do believe that I have a bird in here.” I stated, tapping my chin. He chuckled.

“I missed you.” He said as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

“I missed you too.” I rested my head on his chest, hearing his heart beat. For how calm his breathing was, his heart was pounding at an alarming rate.

I pulled away first. “So…” I trailed off. He chuckled.

“Sooooo?” He repeated. I smiled.

“Your identity.” I reminded him. I wanted to see if he would tell me before I had to do it myself. He shook his head, brushing a hand through my hair.

“You’ll know sooner than you think.” He promised. I shrugged, walking to my closet.

Do I have to do everything on my own?

“Alrighty. What’ll it be this time? Did some crazy guy attack you on the street?” I asked as I reached up to the top shelf. He laughed.

“Some crazy guy always attacks me on the street.” I nod.

“Okay what about accidentally hitting yourself with a car door?” I questioned him, grabbing the First aid kit off the top shelf.

“Y/N,” He laughed. “What are you talking about?” I sigh, playing with the kit in my hand.

“Okay then. Maybe this will jog your memory. What about falling down the stairs at Wayne Enterprises and breaking your arm?” I ask, turning around slowly. The smile on his face falls.

Now he knows that I know.

“Y/N, how did you?” He steps closer to me. “How did you know?” His voice switches to his actual voice, and not the one he uses for Red Robin. I smile softly, continuing to meddle with the kit in my hands.

“I noticed in the car earlier. Your lip has the scar in the same place where you busted it a few months ago. I sort of put the puzzle pieces together after that.” A huge smile appears on his lips.

“So that’s why you said that you were piecing together a mystery. That’s why you asked that question in the park. You had figured out that it was me.” It was his turn to put the pieces together now. I nodded, and his face fell.

“Does that mean you only kissed me to actually tell if I was Red Robin?” He asked. The smile fell off my lips too, and I dropped the kit, walking over to him. I placed my hand on his cheek.

“Can I take this off?” I asked, tapping lightly on the mask. He nodded slowly. Softly, I peeled it off his face, revealing his beautiful blue eyes. The smile returned to my lips.

“Now why would I kiss you and not mean it? At that point, I had already known it was you. I would never kiss just anybody.” I say as I place my lips onto his gently, my hands pressed against his chest. I felt him smile into the kiss.

“I wanted to tell you.” He said once we pulled away. I scoffed.

“Oh I’m sure you did, Mr. “I’ll tell you soon.” I teased. He sighed.

“Believe me, I did! It’s just that you kissed Red Robin not knowing Tim Drake. I wanted you to get to know me so that you’d fall in love with me, not whatever this is.” He gestured to his outfit. I pressed my forehead against his.

“This may sound cheesy, but I’d fall in love with any version of you.” I whispered onto his lips.

He let out an amused sound. “I’m happy that you know now.” He mumbled, his lips rubbing against mine. I pecked them lightly before leading him over to the bed, sitting us down.

“I have so many questions for you.” I informed him, holding his hands in mine, and looking straight into his eyes with excitement.

“Ill answer anything you throw at me.” He squeezed my hands 3 times, and I smirked.

“You’ll be here for a while, then.”

“We’ll call it a date.”

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theclaravoyant · 8 months

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AN ~ For @fictober-event’s Fictober 2023 prompt: “Give me that, before anything happens.” Set during S2, written after airing of ep.3. SPOILERS FOR EPS 1-3. Masterpost of my Fictober OFMD fics

Also tangentially inspired by @adickaboutspoons beard meta. Lucius shaves his beard. Angst, Hurt/Comfort.

Fandom: Our Flag Means Death Characters/Relationships: Lucius Spriggs, Lucius x Black Pete Tags/Content Warnings: Suicidal Ideation Mention

Help

If there’s one thing he’s grateful for, Lucius thinks, about Stede fucking Bonnet and his stupid fucking ship right now, it’s that the self-important asshole had thought to give the crew a bathroom with a lockable door. It has a sink and a mirror. A sink he grasps onto as tight as he can, until his knuckles clench white around the handle of the razor, and he forces himself to look his own eyes in the mirror.

He hates the way he looks now. The way struggle and starvation like he’d never known have withered and aged him. He’s too… hard. He almost looks like a pirate. Perhaps he was always going to - perhaps this life was going to beat him down and sharpen his edges eventually. He’s not naive enough to think otherwise. He just thought maybe it would happen more gradually. Or that he would die young. Most of them did after all.

Most of all he hates the beard.

It reminds him of the dog. Did you know they’re clipped that way so the rats will bite the hair instead of their faces when they- when they-

Bile rises in his throat and finally his eyes fall away from his accursed reflection to squeeze shut as he throws up in the sink. It’s been months now, but he can still taste it.

There’s a knock at the door.

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah.” He curses himself. It’s so strangled and wavy it’s easily got to be the least convincing thing he’s ever said.

“D’you want some help?”

Fuck no, he doesn’t want help. Not from Pete who can’t - who shouldn’t - see him like this. He couldn’t do that to him. God, he’s such a mess.

And he still hasn’t answered.

“Babe?”

The knock comes again, though it’s less light-knuckle-rapping and more full-handed-slap. He can sense the bristling worry, mirroring the anxiety in himself, and he tries to say something but no or even yes allude him. Before he knows it, Pete’s smashed his shoulder against the door and is staggering into the room, his big eyes looking all worried and zeroing in on Lucius immediately and suddenly he’s feeling all sorts of something and it gives him the - surprise? strength? - to unclench his white knuckles from the porcelain and turn toward him with trembling hands.

“Babe?” he squeaks, pathetic and panicking. Pete rushes in to embrace him, holding him steady until the world starts to feel more solid around him. He needs it as much as Lucius does, if his hammering heartbeat is anything to go by, but after a minute he gathers himself and pries them apart enough that he can look Lucius in his definitely-not-weeping eyes. (Oh, who’s he kidding).

“Give me that, before anything happens,” he insists gently, prying the razor from Lucius’ hands. He frowns down at it, a dark thought occurring to him belatedly. “What were you doing with it, anyway?”

“Oh, no- babe, I was just going to shave. I swear.”

He’s still wary. There’s been a lot of the other thing going around recently. “I thought you liked the beard?”

“Fuck no.” He swallows down the taste of bile. “It’s just… not me.”

“Oh. Okay then.”

The things they’ve still left unspoken pass between them in a long look. Finally, Pete decides to offer the razor back. It rests between them on his open hand. Lucius tries to convince himself to take it, but his own hand shakes violently and he shoves it down by his side and tries to smother it in -

“I mean it’s something new. I could get used to it. You said you like it, right?”

This time, Pete doesn’t take his word for it.

“Only if you like it, babe. If you want it gone then so do I.”

Oh, fuck yes he wants it gone. He wants to rip it off and burn it. Unfortunately that’s not how facial hair works.

He takes a deep breath, and tries to ignore how strangled and snot-filled it sounds. He feels so weak. He feels so loved.

“Okay then.” Pete takes a deep breath for both of them. He moves away, but only for a second, and only just enough to take the brush dipped in shaving cream from where it rests on the basin. He laves it gently down the side of Lucius’ face, and gets to work.

#fictober23 #lucius spriggs #lucius x black pete #lucius x pete #ofmd #our flag means death #my beloveddddddd #this fictional character is having a hard time #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #clara's fic tag

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burningvelvet · 1 year

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excerpts from lord byron’s letters that read like tumblr posts from the 1800s

(diary version: https://www.tumblr.com/burningvelvet/708562718092836864/random-excerpts-from-lord-byrons-diaries-that)

“We of the craft (poets) are all crazy. Some are affected by gaiety, others by melancholy, but all are more or less touched.”

“Remember me to yourself when drunk. I am not worth a sober thought.”

“Why I came here, I know not; where I shall go, it is useless to inquire. In the midst of myriads of the living & the dead worlds — stars, systems, infinity — why should I be anxious about an atom?”

“I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.”

“I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.”

“I do not believe in any religion. I will have nothing to do with immortality. We are miserable enough in this life without speculating upon another.”

“Venice and I agree very well - in the mornings I study Armenian, and in the evenings I go out sometimes - and indulge in coition always.”

“The great object of life is sensation — to feel that we exist, even though in pain. It is this ‘craving void’ which drives us to gaming — to battle — to travel — to intemperate but keenly felt pursuits of every description, whose principal attraction is the agitation inseparable from their accomplishment.”

“If I could always read I should never feel the want of company.”

“When I am ill or unlucky I philosophize as well as I can.”

“Cant is so much stronger than cunt.”

"I have such a detestation of cant ... that I make myself appear rather worse than better than I am."

“There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off. In short, I deny nothing, but doubt everything.”

“Letter writing is the only device combining solitude with good company.”

“I can never get people to understand that poetry is the expression of excited passion, and that there is no such thing as a life of passion any more than a continuous earthquake or an eternal fever. Besides, who would ever shave themselves in such a state?”

“Why should Queens not be whores? every Whore is a Quean.” [Context: 1. Queen Caroline was being tried for adultery 2. “Quean” was another word for “prostitute”]

“But what is Hope? Nothing but the paint on the face of Existence; the least touch of truth rubs it off, and then we see what a hollow-cheeked harlot we have got hold of.”

“To be perfectly original one should think much and read little, and this is impossible, for one must have read before one has learnt to think.”

“I doubt sometimes whether a quiet and unagitated life would have suited me - yet I sometimes long for it.”

“I think the worst woman that ever existed would have made a man of very passable reputation. They are all better than us, and their faults such as they are must originate with ourselves.”

“I should, many a good day, have blown my brains out, but for the recollection that it would have given pleasure to my mother-in-law.”

“Hate is by far the greatest pleasure; men love in haste, but detest in leisure.”

“Like other parties of the kind, it was first silent, then talky, then argumentative, then disputatious, then unintelligible, then altogethery, then inarticulate, and then drunk.”

“In the last two years I have been at Venice, I have spent about five thousand pounds, and I need not have spent a third of this, had it not been that I have a passion for women which is expensive in its variety every where, but less so in Venice than in other cities.”

“I am so changeable, being everything by turns and nothing long, – I am such a strange mélange of good and evil, that it would be difficult to describe me.”

[on a lover, Margarita Cogni] “I forgot to mention that she was very devout, and would cross herself if she heard the prayer-time strike — sometimes when that ceremony did not appear to be much in unison with what she was then about.”

[on his future wife] “I am quite irresolute — and undecided — if I were sure of myself (not of her) I would go — but I am not — & never can be — and what is still worse I have no judgement — & less common sense than an infant — this is not affected humility…”

“I was the fashion when she first came out; I had the character of being a great rake, and was a great dandy — both of which young ladies like. She married me from vanity, and the hope of reforming and fixing me.”

“I read ‘Glenarvon,’ too, by Caro Lamb — God damn!”

"I have seen three men's heads and a child's foreskin cut off in Italy.”

“What could I do? – a foolish girl – in spite of all I could say or do – would come after me... I could not exactly play the Stoic with a woman who had scrambled 800 miles to unphilosophize me.”

“I have fallen in love, which, next to falling into the canal (which would be of no use, as I can swim), is the best or the worst thing I could do.”

(on the possibility of spies being sent for him during the Greek Revolution) “If these Gentlemen have any undue interest and discover my weak side — viz — a propensity to be governed — and were to set a pretty woman or a clever woman about me — with a turn for political or any other sort of intrigue — why — they would make a fool of me — no very difficult matter probably even without such an intervention. But if I can keep passion — at least that passion — out of the question (which may be the more easy as I left my heart in Italy) they will not weather me with quite so much facility.”

[on a Venetian lover, Marianna Segatti] “I am sure if I put a poniard into the hand of this one, she would plunge it where I told her, — and into me, if I offended her. I like this kind of animal, and am sure that I should have preferred Medea to any woman that ever breathed.”

[in response to a fan letter] “You tell me that you wished to know me better, because you liked my writing. I think you must be aware that a writer is in general very different from his productions, and always disappoints those who expect to find in him qualities more agreeable than those of others; I shall certainly not be lessened in my vanity, as a scribbler, by the reflection that a work of mine has given you pleasure; and, to preserve the impression in its favour, I will not risk your good opinion, by inflicting my acquaintance upon you.”

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josephslittledeputy · 4 months

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WIP... Oh shit, its actually Wednesday??

Tagged by @wrathfulrook @clicheantagonist @marivenah @cassietrn @the-silver-chronicles @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat and I thiiiiink that's it... sorry if you've tagged me & you're not on here, its been a hot minute since I've posted a wip wednesday & my memory is basically Swiss cheese

Tagging anyone who wants to self indulgently share a WIP! Feel free to tag me, I love to read new stuff :)

**Also terribly sorry in advance cause this turned out to be a bit longer than I thought it would be**

WIP 1: OG Verse - fun times with Celeste & Gabriel

He has to resist the urge to throttle her, lest he ruin the inside of his house filled with years of carefully handpicked items, ones he held a certain fondness for. "You ruined my life, Celeste. Or do you not recall?” "Your life?" She tilts her head in mock curiosity. "What life? The one where you were sent anywhere they told you to go, like some mongrel with a barely slackened leash?" “Excuse me?" “We can pretend otherwise. Keep up the illusion that your life was marvelous, picture perfect even. But we both know the truth, don't we?" She takes a step closer. “You were nothing but the High Council’s defanged pup. Cluelessly doing their bidding before I freed you. If anything, you should be thanking me." "Thanking you?" He clenches and unclenches his fist in an attempt to suppress his anger. "Hate me if you must, fight me even, but do it later. Right now we must get out of here. If they do not know where I am yet, they soon will. What do you think will happen once they realize one of their precious dhamphirs has been under their nose this whole time?"

Celeste truly is the nicest individual you'll ever meet :))

Including this little snippet from Gabriel's pov as well cause idk, I just really like it

Unbidden worry strikes him. He listens, waits, and when his ears pick up the sound of soft, even breathing he lets out a breath of his own. Celeste and the baby were still there, unharmed, perhaps even sleeping. It brings an odd sense of comfort, reminiscent of times long forgotten, times he didn’t want to remember. If he did, he’d have to remember what brought them to a halt in the first place and he had a job to do. Grief and old wounds had no place here, at least not at the moment. Kicking his boots off, he treks into the bathroom and gently closes the door behind him. It’s a simple design: Shower to his left, toilet to his right, and a sink with a mirror above it directly across from the door. Leaning against the sink, he ruffles his short, black hair that's shaved on the sides and traces his fingers over an old, faded scar. It runs down almost the whole length of his face, going over his left eye and stopping just shy of the corner of his mouth. Overlapping it is another, only this one goes across his face horizontally, over the bridge of his nose and from cheek to cheek. The only thing that remains of the old Gabriel are his blue eyes, once full of life and mischief, now faded and dull. Turning away from his visage, he heads toward the shower and turns it on, stripping down while he waits for the water to heat up. He doesn’t need a mirror to see the multitude of scars and tattoos that adorn his body. Aching for another drink—if only to dull his senses and lingering memories once more—he curbs the yearning and steps beneath the water.

WIP 2: They Watch From The Pews

Willa squirms, trying to dodge cold fingers that reach out to trace over the letters, caressing them with a sadistic fascination that makes her stomach curdle in disgust. Disgust quickly transforms into a desperation to get away once he finally reveals the knife kept hidden behind his back. “Usually I’d peel the sin off but… I think this will suit you much better, don't you?" Pressing the tip of his blade into her skin, he teasingly drags it across her skin. "Tell me, Deputy, how did you feel when you got the news of Samuel's death?" "Chipper." She spitefully answers with a sneer. John heaves a dramatic sigh and presses the blade down harder, prompting tiny beads of blood to bubble up as he traces over the letters of her tattoo. "You can make this easier for yourself, you know." "I've heard that before. Got me a bullet to the leg." "Because you ran. My men only acted accordingly." "Fuck you and your men, pussy." "My, what a mouth on you." He tuts and makes a deeper cut. Her teeth sink into the leather in her mouth, denying him the satisfaction of hearing her make a noise. Without pause, he moves onto the second letter, brows scrunched up in concentration as he goes over the lines again and again. It isn’t until he’s on the last letter that she finally breaks with a muffled groan. He stops, lifting his eyes from his work. “Comfortable?”

John & Willa are bonding so well. Truly, I think they're starting to get along!

#**wips subject to change**#nah i thought it was tuesday today like... huh #anyway guess what guys i actually have stuff for wip wednesday! granted its not that great but ehh we tryin & thats all that counts #i love when docs will put a red underline under my words like... hunni if that aint a word it is now!!#ohhhh gabriel may be taking celestes shit now but just wait for it... hes a man who suppresses his anger until it builds and blows <3 #i need gabriel like a dog needs a bone ya feel? (shh dont look at me...)#Cel & Gabriel's past history is interesting and a bit convoluted (yes; they fucked)#also i love writing willa bc im like 'how many times can i make her swear? yes!' she just doesnt care anymore #shes feral & angry & shes finally indulging in it #also willas overreacting it was a bullet GRAZE not a bullet WOUND**#meanwhile johns like 'hehe knife time while i interrogate you bestie! <3'#wanted to include some stuff from Sparrows fic too but ah well. maybe next time #ok tag spam done SORRY #oc: celeste night #oc: gabriel walker #oc: willa rook

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seeker-of-truth · 7 months

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VERENA SOTO

So post 2.0 some things about my gorl changed. Figured it was high time I updated her profile, enjoy!

BASICS

AGE: 27 during game

DOB: June 10, 2049

ETHNICITY: American Latina

GENDER: female

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUALLY: Queer, uninterested in labels

NICKNAMES: V, Rena (reserved for the people closest to her), Rennie (childhood)

BIRTH PLACE: Wellsprings, Heywood, NC

HEIGHT: 5'6"

WEIGHT: 138 lbs

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: English almost exclusively, some Spanish picked up from around the home.

BODY TYPE: Think super featherweight boxer during off-season || ex: Alycia Baumgardner || Strong but with curves and softness – still a round-faced queen tho

HAIR COLOR: natural - very dark brown || During her corpo days, she keeps it gray as a small form of self-expression, always pulled back into a tight bun. || After Konpeki she wants to feel in control of her body again and dyes it canary yellow and cuts her hair to a shoulder-length mullet to make the shaving Vik had to do to save her life look more intentional — both the cut and color stick.

EYE COLOR: Kiroshi optics designed to look identical to her natural deep brown eyes.

CYBERWARE: EMP Threading || Contraceptive Implant || Neural Link || 2 Chip Slots || Interface Plug || Auxiliary Netrunning Interface Plug || Smart Link || Raven Microcybernetics Syn-Lungs || Arasaka Cyberleg || NetWatch Netdriver MK.1 Cyberdeck || Modified Arasaka Self-Ice || Kiroshi Sentry Optics || Kendachi Monowire || MoorE Technologies Bionic Joints || Dynalar Universal Booster || Militech Revulsor Reflex Tuner || Dynalar Subdermal Armor || Kang Tao Optical Camo || Zetatech Pain Editor || MedTech Biomonitor || Zetatech Reinforced Tendons || FIA Behavioral Imprint-Synced Faceplate

CLASS: What I’ve taken to calling the “Buff Netrunner” - mostly relies on combat hacking but will physically mess you up if you get too close.

WEAPONS: her main weapons are a Tsunami Nue with a discontinued XC-10 Alecto Silencer and her monowire || she will often carry a non-silenced tech pistol on gigs, after giving Johnny his Malorian back she takes to using her old Arasaka JKE-X2 Kenshin (he totally gets her a 3516 after everything tho) || On Jobs that look to be messy, she will take a Kang Tao G-58 Dian as an insurance policy.

VEHICLES: a Yaiba Kusanagi CT-3X is her daily driver || she also has a Quadra Turbo-R V-Tech for the days ya just need a car || (Johnny's Porsche is returned to him and Jackie’s ARCH is kept in the penthouse and taken out twice a year)

PERSONALITY

Extremely guarded, likes to keep her thoughts and feelings private, feels embarrassed when her feelings spill out || Patient to a fault. has the world's longest fuse to a very big explosion || all icy, calculated fire || slow to trust but once she does, she considers that person to be family || will go to the ends of the earth to protect the people she loves || sarcastic || can be very ridged || highly empathetic, and will try to get people to better situations, regardless of the cost || will lie to get the best possible outcome || loves living in Night City || good with words, has learned to talk her way out of most situations || reserved, hates being approached || feels like her life happens to her a lot and is desperate for control

FAMILY HISTORY

MOTHER: Diana Soto – alive, estranged

FATHER: Mario Soto – alive, estranged

Both of her parents were regular blue-collar workers, her mother is a machinist, and her father a welder. They had met in passing as she was dropping off parts at the mechanic shop he was working at and quickly fell in love, getting married and having Verena not long after.

Her relationship with them was always strained as they were both very closed off with their emotions with her. Because of that and being an only child, she never communicated with them well, eventually closing herself off to them completely.

CHILDHOOD - TEENS

2056 - At the age of 7 the standardized tests given to students flagged her as having an aptitude for netrunning so she was placed in an exclusive boarding school in Charter Hill as part of a special outreach program sponsored by Night Corp. She excelled at her studies but struggled to make friends as most of her peers were the children of corpos. She spent summers back at home with her parents and seeing the difference in the quality of life had an effect on her, jading her to NC as she aged. Her parents were ecstatic at the thought of their child having a better life than them, so failure became something that was severely punished.

2060 - By the time she was in middle school she had a small but close-knit group of friends, both from corps backgrounds and backgrounds like her. She was fiercely protective of them and got in multiple fights defending them from the same bullying she had received.

2064 - When not studying she became very interested in edgerunning, specifically solos, but rockerboy culture as well. She liked the inherent rebellion they represented and wished she could do the same. But she knew that she would disappoint her parents if she strayed from the path she was on. She would listen to records and read about the legends of NC under her blankets at night.

2065 - At 16 she was chipped with her professional ports, she viewed them as the final seal in the life that she was going to live, like it or not. As an act of rebellion, she shaved her head and got multiple ear piercings. She was reprimanded by the school, an action that brought her parent's fists down on her as well. During the summer she would often sneak into clubs and bars to get away from her home environment.

2067 - She graduated with high enough grades that she was able to attend NCU on a full ride where she majored in Cybersecurity with a focus on Offensive Hacking. She looks back on her time there fondly as she met more like-minded people, many of whom pushed her to express herself more. She joined a small band as a guitarist. Eventually entering a relationship with the bassist – Sara. It was a very toxic relationship and they both treated each other like shit. V’s generally guarded nature closed her off the deeper in the relationship she got.

20’S

2070 - The unification war caused the university to push its students through faster, so she graduated a year early and immediately started looking for a job, not wanting to disappoint her parents.

July 2070 - With Arasaka now back in Night City they were doing massive hiring and V managed to get her foot in the door in the Counter Intelligence Division – Branch 3.

August 2070 - After an internal incident her bosses found her to be adept at espionage (both traditional and corporate), so they sent her to do black ops work with a small crew in South America for approximately a year and a half. During this time, she honed her skill with a pistol.

October 2072 - leaves to spend 11 months in Rio De Janeiro tracking a “terrorist” cell. Her team eventually took out the group after she was captured on a solo reconnaissance mission and interrogated/tortured for over a week.

September 2073 - Rio traumatized her and she crawled into herself and didn’t want to return to work so Arasaka wanted to drop her, Jenkins saw her skills as exploitable and invited her to stay in office. During this time, she became estranged from her parents.

June 2074 - Meets Jackie at the Mexican border, he saves her ass by helping her extract an agent.

July 2076 - Moves into the Wells household.

Mid-January 2077 - Konpeki Plaza Heist

End of May 2077 - I, Pre Defined Starts

#oc: verena soto #there's honestly not a lot of changes to her but the ones there are important to meeeee #also CDPR can fuck off with that V is 23 bs #and yeah she has og male V's b-day because I need her to be a gemini not a libra lol #cw: violence #cw: torture #cw: child abuse #(alluded to)

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shhh-secret-time · 4 months

Text

Lucky Number 13, Baby

"Definitely need a chapter 2, So take your looks at comments.

This is what I'm made of. Torn jeans, tattoos, and stray child terror!

Lucky Number 13, baby!"

Chapter 1

Her tongue pushes against the small black rings on her bottom lip, knocking the hoops from side to side. The poor teacher's voice seemed to fade further and further away as she continued the rythmatic clicking. She knew she'd regret not paying attention later when she was struggling to do the homework the teacher was sure to assign her and the rest of the class, but right now her mind was elsewhere.

It was outside the classroom, wandering around to nothing. Her thoughts bouncing around in her head like that old DVD symbol not quite hitting the corner of the screen. That's what she'd compare it to anyway when she went absent minded like this. Right now, the only thing on her mind was the pack of cigarettes tucked away in the faded oversized varsity jacket, big blocky white letters with her last name printed on the back.

Wellman. 13.

Lucky number thirteen given to her when she joined the school's basketball team, something she wore like a badge of honor. The jacket grew with her developing character from the patches going down the arm of the sleeves to the old energy drink stains down the front. Because of the nasty habit, the jacket had the scent of cigarettes trapped inside it; holding the contraband in the deep pockets.

The lip rings were supposed to be a way to stop her from smoking, again something she just told herself to justify the reckless D.I.Y piercings she gave herself. The crumbled pack rolled in her palm, probably crushing them further, but it helped the itch in her palm. The need to just hold it in her lips and taste the burn in the back of her throat. She bit her lip rings again and let out a little exhale, knocking her boots together before perching one on top of the other.

Fuck this wasn't helping. Maybe she could slip out with the typical bathroom excuse. Pulling the nurse card wouldn't work, the nurse hated her. Too many trips after a night of drinking and using the nurse's office as an excuse to get a few extra minutes of sleep. An energy drink was starting to sound good right now, her body just craved something terrible. Something that would shave a few years off her life.

Yeah, that sounds good.

"Jean. Jean!"

Her head snaps towards the front of the classroom when she hears her name being bellowed by the teacher. The frown and disapproving look told her everything she needed to know that she was in trouble. Jean sat up in her chair and gave the teacher a sheepish smile. The braided pigtails resting on her shoulder swung forward as she did.

"Hey teach~. You uh.... you wanted something?" Jean bit back a smile trying to creep up across her lips, but the snickers in the classroom weren't helping.

"As a matter of fact, you can. You can answer number thirteen on the board like I asked you to a minute ago." If looks could kill Jean would be dead three times over.

"Not what I meant when I asked for something to shave years off my life, universe." She thought to herself as her eyes scanned the whiteboard.

It wasn't the silence or the group of eyes on her that was the problem, it was the anticipation; the fact that class wouldn't continue until either the teacher gave up or she gave an answer. Jean squints a few times like she's trying to come up with an answer, even going so far as to cock her head. Her eyes bounced away from the board for a moment over towards the only person she knew would throw her a lifeline, the only person who was smart enough to know the answer to any of these questions.

Wendy Testaburger, who always sat at the front with perfect posture and perfect hair. Perfect clothes and with perfect grades to match. Now Jean was banking on her perfect mind, and she could see it in those perfect eyes that Wendy knew it. She watched as the ravenette sighed and mouthed at her.

Jean's face lit up with a grin. That's another I.O.U for Miss Testaburger.

"Why teach, I think the definition of a long... longitutde-", she squints back over towards Wendy again who only rolled her eyes and mouthed-, "longitudinal! Longitudinal wave caused by vibrations and carried through a substance of sort would be a... sound wave." Jean ends the sentence with a relaxed smile and a click of her tongue.

"What the fuck does longitudinal even mean?!"

Jean wasn't expecting the teacher to lighten up when she gave him the answer, in fact, him pinching the bridge of his nose was about par for the course. It wasn't the first time the man tried to single her out, but here of late it felt like every other day he was trying to make her choke. Like he was trying to make her feel bad for staring off into space. Some part of her knew that responding with shitty remarks didn't help, but if he wanted to pick, she could pick back.

"Right. Jean, stay after class, we can talk about how the only reason why you're barely passing my class is because of Miss Testaburger. Wendy stop encouraging Miss Wellman's behavior." His tone was cold and dismissive as he turned back to the board to continue his lesson.

"Yes sir."

It was one thing to scold her, but Wendy? Jean's heart sunk a little in her throat, the feeling of guilt clawing its way up to the back of her mind. Yeah, she owed her big time. The rest of the class was a blur if she wasn't checked out before she was now. Confining herself to her own little mind prison again. Lucky number thirteen indeed. When the bell rang, it was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

"This prisoner is free to go with parole!"

She slung the canvas messenger back over her shoulder and made a beeline towards Wendy's desk. Her boots nudged the side of the desk in her hurried attempt to catch the woman, her hands coming down on the desk in a desperate attempt to make it look natural.

"Wemdy!" The nickname slips past her lips with a little chirp. "Hey, I'm super sorry about that! I didn't mean to get you in trouble with the teach! Between you and me I think the dude's got it out for me, he's got such a stick up his ass." She whispers that last part.

She's expecting that perfect smile. That perfect little giggle she does when the girls say something funny or when she receives a compliment, Wendy was always the type to get flustered from praise. But when she doesn't even smile at her she goes pale, that feeling of guilt rears its ugly head again. It's worse when she realizes Wendy isn't even mad, little flashes of pity come across her face.

"Jean, it's fine. Just please try to pay more attention. I can't keep getting in trouble for you."

"You won't! I mean, I will! I was just kinda having an off day, you know how it is!" The desperation in her voice to fix the little situation she's put herself in comes off a little too strong for her liking.

"You're always having an off day. Look, I know it's hard and you know I'm always going to help you if you need me...just don't abuse it okay?" Wendy finally gives her that smile as she stands up, the tension in the air being worked out like a sore muscle.

"Right...look I'll make it up to you! I promise! You saved my ass again Testaburger, you're a hero! Queen shit for real for real!"

Jean grins at her when Wendy finally lets out that laugh. Her shoulders relax and she can feel stomach start to settle again. She felt like a junky who finally got a fix, the rush of withdrawal into the rapture of her smile.

"That's three now you owe me Jean, expect me to collect soon."

"Anything you want~ you just gotta name it beautiful." Maybe the wink was a little unnecessary, but it got the results when Wendy laughed again.

"Careful, I wouldn't go flirting with me when you still have to stay after class. I'm not really into rule breakers." Jean can feel her stomach do flips when she pokes her nose.

"Ah if I can't flirt with my homies before getting yelled at, am I really living?" She jokes back with a little shrug.

Wendy smiles at her and shakes her head before speaking. "Seriously though Jean, I know you mean well. But you've gotta get it together, okay? I'm not here to lecture you but...we're seniors about to graduate. Have you even thought about if you're going to college or not."

That knot in her stomach returned, the subject made everything numb. It used to make her feel sick, nowadays it just doesn’t make her feel at all. Static on a tv was a good way to describe it, drawing a blank whenever the talk of the future came up. Her hands go for the pack of cigarettes again taking comfort in the smooth plastic.

"Uh...well I don't think I'm going to college; school clearly isn't my scene. I was thinking..." She stops as Wendy picks up her textbook and tucks it into her arms, "...doesn't matter! I'll figure it out Wens, you've done enough for me today! I won't burden you with this!"

Her tone changes, but she's not fooling anyone. The grin on her face doesn't reach her eyes, and she knows it. Wendy isn't stupid. It's a losing battle to try and fool her. But thankfully, she doesn't pry.

"Well, when you are ready to talk about it, Kyle, Heidi, and I started a little group to try and help other students figure out where they want to go after they graduate. You should come to one!"

"Isn't that Macky's job?"

The two stare at each other for a while until Wendy raises a brow at her. Then it's laughter that echoes the classroom. A silent joke shared between friends.

"Right. I'll think about it, Wens."

"Nope. I'm cashing in those favors; you're coming to at least three of the meetings. One with me, one with Heidi, and one with Kyle."

"No! Wait come on just make me do something embarrassing or ask me to play smoke on the water like everyone else fucking does." Jean's desperation was back, the shameless begging turned to whining.

"Nope. I've made up my mind. You want to make it up to me Jean you'll come to these meetings to better yourself. I'm only doing this because I love you." Wendy turns and pokes her nose again but this time it's not as cute as it was the first time.

"Fuck, god damn it woman. Fine. Just text me the deets and I'll be there." Her hands come up to the bright purple and pink slouch hat on her head, pulling it down over her eyes.

"I'll do you one better! We made little cards!" Wendy fishes into her purse and pulls out a vanilla business card with the three last names written on the bottom.

She was almost impressed, the handwriting had to be Heidi's just from the way the dots above the i's looked so bubbly. From under the brim of her hat she skimmed over the card, taking note of the classroom they were using to host the little meetings. It looked like the hours were strictly after school and that they tried to work around any other after school activities. That meant using basketball as an excuse was out of the question.

"You guys really went all out. So... next Tuesday I just show up?"

"Yep! Trust me, this will be really good for you! I'll see you later, okay? Oh! I hope you don't get detention again." She gives her a little look of pity again before she leaves, a small squeeze of her hand and she's bolting out the door.

That look of pity felt different than the other one, it left Jean glued to her spot. Standing there wondering why, why did it feel different? The first time it almost felt like Wendy felt sorry for her, sorry that she was the way that she was.

"No. Wendy wouldn't think like that. Not Wendy." Her thoughts were getting louder as students moved past her towards the door. "You should be sorry you are the way that you are. You got in her trouble. You're making her drag you to that stupid meeting, making her waste her time on you."

That little voice that wasn't quite hers rang out in her mind, its fists banging against her temples like a hammer on a nail. She swallows the lump in her throat as she shoves the card in her coat pocket, shaky hands crushing the card.

Before the ice could settle in her veins her phone buzzed, breaking her out of the little trance she was falling into. Her hands find the small device and pull it out of her pant pocket, and for the second time that day she feels like she's been thrown a lifeline.

Stan "The Man" Marsh - 1:02pm

Starks Pond after school? We can grab a case on the way.

Yeah, that sounds really good.

Prologue | 1 | 2

#south park #sp fanfiction #south park fanfiction #stan marsh #wendy testaburger #oc/canon #south park oc #my oc #oc fanfiction #high school #au #oc character #chapter 1 #shhh its a secret #Pomegranates and Honey

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