#there is a REASON he is my username's basis

[mae-gi-writes]

It's (Just So) Awkward | jungkook (bts) - one

“No way. We’re too different and he’s so—so black and white. A straight-up yes-or-no kind of guy. And I’m not.”

Genre: nerd! Jungkook x outspoken! Reader, university! Au, idiots to lovers au, kim changbin cameo (skz)

A/N: any mention of disorders/medical conditions are fictional and I do not own Jeon jungkook. I only own the plot. If you are sensitive to content that talks about psychological disorders, i would advise you to read at your own risk. Please do enjoy !!

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Part One | Next >>>

———

“And I scream ‘for whatever it’s worth, I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” — Cruel Summer, Taylor Swift

———

You and Jeon Jungkook have known each other for years.

You know him like the back of your hand, not because you wanted to, but because you were obliged to, with the god-awful amount of time that you spent together.

Everything started back in art class. You had been fifteen at the time and had enrolled in the Visual Arts IGCSE course, as did he. There were only five students in the class, which was the main reason as to how you got to know your classmates that well, considering that these were the sorts of people that you wouldn’t normally hang out with on a daily basis.

You’d taken a seat next to Jungkook on that very first day of class, your colored markers in one hand and your sketchbook in the other, when he’d first decided to pick on the state of your shirt.

“Your shirt is crumpled,” he’d stated matter-of-factly, as though he didn’t have any filter, as though he didn’t care that it might affect your feelings. Good for him that you weren’t the type of person to take things to heart.

You merely straightened and looked at him, “thanks for the observation.”

“Don’t you iron your shirts?”

“Uhm no, I forgot,” you eyed his very organized desk, noticed the straight angles of his own sketchbook perpendicularly placed with his ruler. His pens stacked at its side, parallel to the paper, and his hands poised onto the fresh page.

Your gaze then traveled up to his clean, crisp shirt, hair parted to the side and glasses perched on his nose.

Your eyebrows raised in curiosity as he said, “coming to school with a crumpled up shirt just shows how disorganized you are. Or maybe you didn’t have enough time. Then that’s time-management skills that you lack.”

“Thanks, I’ll take that into consideration,” you’d replied sarcastically.

And from there, you had learnt to know who Jeon Jungkook really was.

Undeniably, he had an amazing gift for art which no one could argue with, so all his backhanded comments were, over time, either ignored or playfully used as insults to tease him back. He was a funny guy — in the sense that he barely had any filter or sense of what was socially accepted to talk about — but you couldn’t say he hadn’t grown on you over the past years and funnily enough, you both ended up in the same university course as Visual Arts major.

“You again?” You’d groaned on the first day of lecture upon noticing his tall, dark frame behind round spectacles. Even out of high school, he still wore a shirt -- this one pale blue -- tucked into sable pants, hair combed back into that side part that now sportrd a few bangs, and his glasses.

He grinned at you from his seat, “hello, Y/N.”

“Why are you here?” You dramatically fell into your seat, swiveled towards him with an exasperated sigh as your chin fell into your hand.

“Because I applied for Visual Arts and got in.”

“Well yeah I knew that much,” you rolled your eyes, “but I thought you wanted to be an architect. Isn’t that what you said before graduation?”

“You remember?” His grin widened, “that’s nice of you—“

“Not on purpose, you dweeb. Now tell me why you’re here instead of bugging someone else in architecture 101.”

“I am in architecture,” he lifted his shoulder in a shrug, “but my course asks for an art prerequisite. They said I couldn’t use my high school grades to give me my transfer credits because art wasn’t my main subject.”

“That’s bullshit. Your art was the best out of all of us.”

“Apparently it wasn’t good enough for them.”

You tilted your head at him, “so you’re telling me I have to suffer through this with you, again? Didn’t I do enough of that in high school?”

“Technically, you’re the one who came to sit next to me.”

“You got a point. Maybe I should move.”

But you didn’t. Not wanting to admit it, you were actually grateful knowing that Jungkook was a familiar element amidst all this new environment. Not that you’d ever tell him that though, knowing he’d take full advantage of it.

That didn’t stop you from complaining about it with your mother every time you saw her appear on your phone screen. She would only laugh and tease you about it, saying that out of all universities, Jeon Jungkook had chosen the one you had applied to. Surely, according to her, she thought it was fate.

“It’s not fate,” you’d grumbled into your pillow, “how can it be fate? He just likes to torture me.”

“He’s not that bad Y/N,” your mother chided, “and you know how he is. His mother said so at the exhibition, remember?”

Yes, you had remembered how his mother had apologized following Jungkook’s harsh criticism of your projects. How could you forget? It had been on the final exhibition evening where all students were decked in black and white to follow the theme of the night, and as part of your final exhibition, you’d had to criticize and analyze your classmates’ pieces with your teacher as mediator. And when Jungkook had been asked to voice his thoughts about your work, he had been void of kindness:

“It doesn’t seem genuine.”

“It lacks of technique.”

“You could’ve used more depth.”

“I don’t see the connection between the artist and the audience.”

Not wanting to cry in front of the entire class had you running to the bathroom as tears streamed down your face, which caused his mother to follow you while trying to explain her son’s horrible behaviour.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. You know he doesn’t mean it that way, not really—“

“Oh then, in what way does he mean it then?” You’d sniffled into your tissue, hating how red your eyes looked in the mirror, “because to me that sounded downright condescending and honestly, I thought better of him—“

“He’s different, Y/N.”

“Different?” You pause, “what do you mean…different?”

That was when she explained about Social Cues Disorder, also known as SCD, which was placed on the Asperger’s spectrum despite being slightly different from the said diagnostic. And as she spoke, it became clear why Jungkook didn’t have any social barriers into speaking his mind even when it might hurt people or be taken the wrong way. The thing was, he didn’t know.

Nevertheless, it took you a few days to recover from his personal attack. You were surprised when Jungkook came up to you a few days after the exhibition to offer you an apology.

“My mother said she told you about SCD,” he spoke as though they were talking about the weather when to you, it was slightly difficult to handle such a topic when you had no idea whether he’d take it right or wrong, “she also said I need to apologize because I was very harsh on you during the exhibition.”

You swallowed thickly, the sting of tears building in your eyes as the memory resurfaced, “yes. You were.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied without missing a beat, “I didn’t know it would hurt your feelings. According to the doctors, I don’t know how to understand people’s emotions or react to people, or say the right thing. So I’m sorry, because I’m sure I might do it again.”

You looked at him for a long moment, judging the weight of his words. Then, you sighed, “that’s fine, Jungkook. Thanks.”

If you removed his lack of total empathy, Jungkook was admittedly kind of fun to be around. He had the most hilariou responses to everything, which you learnt the more you sat next to him in class.

"Color blindness is an eyesight problem," he said one day when you told him that you believed color blindness to be some sort of supernatural gift.

"Well how do you know that the colors you see are the real ones?" You lean over your desk, pen in hand as the soft scratches of pencil to paper filled the room, "maybe we're the ones who are colour blind."

"That is scientifically incorrect."

"Who said so?"

He looked at you as if you were an idiot, "it was scientifically proven, Y/N. I don't think your argument is valid."

"Okay, so let's take schizophrenia for example," you quickly fired back, "people say that those with this disorder hallucinate and see things that aren't there. But maybe, wait--hear me out," you added when Jungkook started shaking his head, "maybe these people actually see things that we don't."

Jungkook's eyebrow rose in what looked to be half-amusement, "I'm not sure that's a valid point. Also, it's medically incorrect to be sharing false information about psychological disorders."

"Not everything is quantifiable, you know."

"Still, what you're saying is that these people have superpowers that don't exist."

"Exactly."

"Sounds like some kind of marvel action movie to me."

Of course he would say something like that. What were you expecting more? With time, you came to understand the phenomenon that was Jeon Jungkook, with his weird quirks and curious way of thinking. You secretly wondered whether he knew how easily people got triggered by his responses, or whether he just went through life with his own kind of colorblindness.

You got rewarded with a first-hand situation between him and another classmate of yours a few days later, going by the name of Kim Changbin.

It was in the middle of mid-term and since deadlines were comig up soon, the printmaking studio was crammed with students trying to finish up their portfolio projects in time. You would normally give Jungkook a hand with the technical materials and tools needed and after having set up his screen, was busy arranging your own set of colours when a voice pierced through the room in anger.

"What the fuck, Jeon?!" Your head swivelled to see Changbin at the station that Jungkook had been standing at seconds prior, looking quite murderous with his damaged screen in hand. Facing him was Jungkook, a palette knife held in mid-air, "what's wrong with you, flaunting that thing around when we all have screens?!"

"I'm sorry," the words came out straight away from Jungkook's mouth, "It wasn't my intention. I'll make sure to work on it--"

"Work on it?" Changbin's nostrils flared. He stepped towards the taller man, "this took me fucking weeks to perfect. And what? You're going to work on it?" He took another step closer, causing Jungkook to lean back, " How the fuck am I supposed to get my artwork back huh?"

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention," Jungkook parroted again with eyes glassy as though he didn't know what to say, "I'll make sure to wo--"

"Yeah I heard you the first time!" Changbin hollered, index stabbing at his chest, "this artwork is my scholarship ticket and you fucking ruined it!"

"Hey hey," you quickly stepped in-between the two men, hand latching onto Changbin's shoulder, "he said he was sorry okay? Let's just calm down and--"

"Move out, Y/N, this is none of your fucking business," Changbin pushed you away and you stumbled. He took this chance to lunge for Jungkook's chest and the latter whimpered, yelping and handa scrabbling to push Changbin away, "you gonna take responsibility, dumbass?--"

"I'm sorry it wasn't my intention--"

"You fucking retard you can't even --"

"--make sure to work on--"

"Shut up!" And before he knew it, Jungkook yelped and pushed Changbin away.

"Changbin!"

"Jungkook!"

Changbin fell, crashed straight into a table with such force it split down the middle. For a minute, he lay there motionless, the entire class rendered silent.

And in the middle of it all, a panicked Jungkook holding his hands over his ears.

He crouched down as people moved towards Changbin concern and you took this chance to go to your friend, hearing him mutter the exact same phrase over and over again with a blank look in his eyes.

"Jungkook," your words were quiet as your hand wrapped around his shoulder tentatively, "hey, you alright bud? Let's get you out of here, okay?"

But as if he just realized you were his only safe anchor, the young man was quick to wrap his arms around your middle before he buried his head into your chest.

Your cheeks flamed, but you went to caress the back of his head, knowing that this was not a normal situation. He needed you.

"Jungkook?" You whispered and tried ignoring the way your heart skipped a beat, "you okay?"

"Just--please. Don't move."

Few words with so much power. You couldn't help but crumble and hold him closer if that was possible, hoping that the consequences that would follow would hopefully be called an accident.

This was the first time you'd seen Jungkook, as who he really was. You could have walked away , you had that choice, if you wanted to.

But you didn't.

---

"Hey."

Changbin's angry eyes fluttered up to yours from the nurse's bed. He'd been admitted to the campus clinic for an overnight watch in case something went wrong with his back. Due to the force of his fall, he now sported bruises all along his spine and you knew without doubt he'd use it as blackmail against Jungkook even if the wounds were superficial.

"What do you want?" He growled.

From his narrow-eyed stare, it was clear that he was not enjoying his current predicament; that being pinned down to a bed.

"How are you feeling?" You moved a little closer and tried not to flinch under his hard gaze, "I just wanted to see if you were alright."

"Well you got your answer," he snapped, "now if you don't have anytbing else to say, get lost."

"I'm sorry. Jungkook--he's a bit socially awkward and I know you took a lot of time to finish this--"

"That's not your job, is it?" He chuckled emptily, "why are you apologizing on his behalf?"

"Because I know that's what he wants to say, but he's not in a state to say it right now," you took another step closer until you were at his bedside, "so before you go and think that he's just a loser, I wanted to clarify it with you."

"What are you, his mom or something?"

"We're friends, Changbin."

He shook his head, looking amused and you were glad he didn't seem to be so angry now that you exchanged more than two words with him, "and how exactly, did you become friends?"

"Why?"

"You don't seem the type to be friends with that kind of geek, apologies for the insult," he said with a raised brow, "so tell me. How are you friends? Is it by duty?"

"No. He's...it just happened," you tried to stammer through an explanation, though he had a point. How had you become friends? "In any case, does that even matter?"

That was when Changbin grinned at you, "wanna be my friend?"

You stared blankly at him, "what?"

"You wanna be my friend and help me out with my artwork?"

Considering that he would probably combust and drag you along with him if you failed to agree, you were quick to abide by his suggestion, setting up a meeting at the studio a few days later when he'd be safe and sound from the nurse.

You even prepared the materials in advance, setting up all the colours and preparing the screen so that Changbin wouldn't have to wait for it to dry to expose his design.

Your phone vibrated and you quickly pulled it out, frowning when Jungkook's name flashed across the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hello Y/N. Where are you?"

"Uh, at school. Why?"

"I bought chocolate donuts."

Your heart melted slightly, "I'm in the art lab."

Which was where Jungkook found you a few minutes later as he walked through the door, donuts in hand and looking as geeky as ever with a crisp white shirt tucked into light jeans.

"Why are you here?" He frowned, "You're already done with your artwork."

Changbin walked in from the exposure room right at that very instant, his face turning sour as soon as he caught sight of the dark-haired man, "what the fuck are you doing here?" He growled.

"I'm here to give some donuts to--"

"To you!" You grabbed the donut box from Jungkook before thrusting it in Changbin's face, "hos way of saying sorry about your broken screen."

"Actually, these donuts were for yo--"

"He just feels so bad about you having to do your artwork all over again, right Jungkook?" You throw him a pointed look, which caused Jungkook's brows to furrow in even more confusion as Changbin's dark eyes flickered between the two of you, not quite sure what to make of the situation.

It took a moment for Jungkook to mutter out a, "sure."

"I'd feel a whole lot better if you got out of my face," Changbin scowled at him then, and you quickly scurried in front of your friend with hands held up in a defensive manner.

Jungkook turned to you, "do you have to help him, Y/N? He doesn't seem to be very friendly to me--"

"You little shi--"

"Alright alright boys!” You flailed your arms around wildly in hopes that would deter any kind of fight, “I told you, Jungkook doesn’t know how to show his affection and gratefulness to other people. Don’t take it badly, Changbin, let’s just— “

“Statistically speaking, you shouldn’t hang out with people with violent tendencies. It’s dangerous,” Jungkook stated bluntly.

You threw him the angriest glare you could muster, causing the said man’s eyes to dart away. He couldn’t recognize social cues, but he did know for a fact what your angry face looked like. So he didn't fight when you pushed him out of the door while excusing yourself with Changbin and it was only when you were safely away from prying ears that you tried talking some sense into your friend.

"Don't mess with this, okay? I got it." You said in what you hoped was a convincing tone, "just go home and finish your homework. We have that art history essay due tomorrow."

Jungkook stared you down behind his glasses, "but Changbin is--"

"No it's fine, just go home. Everything will be fine if you go home."

"What if he hits you?"

"He won't."

"You will call me if he does?"

"Yes. I promise I will."

That seemed to satisfy Jungkook and you quickly propelled him out of the building before ushering back inside the lab just in time to catch Changbin doing his screenprint.

"Got rid of that loser yet?" His smirk was infuriating. It made you want to slap it off his face.

"Shut up and let me help you," you responded, rolling your eyes as you went to assist him. In truth, you were just secretly glad they didn't tear each other's throats out.

Not everyone understood Jungkook, and while that was fine, you just felt as though you were responsible for protecting him.

It was almost midnight when you finished cleaning up the studio and packed up all the tools and materials, that was when Changbin suggested you get something to eat. Deciding that your stomach was a priority, you agreed and settled at one of the small cheap restaurants that sold hot noodle soup, one of the rare finds open 24/7.

"Why're you friends with that guy?"

You glanced up from your soup, "you asked me that before, Changbin."

He took a sip of his, other hand fumbling with his chopsticks to gather some noodles, “and I’m asking you again. Why are you friends?” He took a bite of his noodles and grumbled appreciatively, “you like him or something?”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard coming out of your mouth,” you snorted as you slurped your noodles and chewed on the warmth that seeped into your chest. Noodles always tasted better in cold weather.

“Well he likes you.”

You almost choked on your noodles, “wha— where are you getting all this false information.”

“It’s written all over his face, Y/N,” Changbin rolled his eyes, “he wouldn’t be bringing you donuts if that were the case.”

“You’re wrong. He’s just kind. He always was,” the thought of you and Jungkook being together suddenly flashed before your eyes and heat flushed through your cheeks at the thought. He was your friend, he was the closest thing to home that you had now that you were in university, so it was just natural for you to gravitate towards the familiar.

“Bullshit. You don’t see the way he looks at you.”

“He doesn’t look at me like anything.”

Changbin merely chuckled, shaking his head before finishing his soup in silence. You were glad that he dropped it, knowing full well that you wouldn’t have been able to take it if he’d continuously found arguments to support his hypothesis. Jungkook couldn’t like you…could he? He was…odd and not the kind of man to look for things like relationships.

Then again, you’d never actually asked Jungkook how he felt about girls. Or relationships for that matter.

Which was why you had planned to corner him after your English lecture, rushing to the end of the corridor where you knew Jungkook had his design class with your bag barely closed and books clutched to your chest, only to find the said man wrapped up in an animated conversation with a stranger you’d never seen before.

The girl was beautiful. That was a given, with long glossy curls that fell to her waist and dyed light blonde, giving her the appearance of a fairy. She was wearing a pastel blue coat decked with white pants and boots to match, the perfect fashion icon for many, slightly smaller than you were so that her head had to tilt back every time she spoke to him.

You were about to swivel around — since they seemed to be in deep discussion — when Jungkook spotted you. His brown eyes lit up from behind his spectacles (it was kinda cute) and he grinned, dimple showing.

“Y/N,” he called your name and you had no other choice than to walk over, flashing him a weak smile, “this is Lee Sara. She’s in my design class. She’s also going to be an architect.”

“Hi,” Sara smiled. She was beautiful, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Hi, nice to meet you,” you smiled back, eyes darting between the two before settling on Jungkook’s, “you ready to go?”

“Actually, Sara and I are going to get some boba,” Jungkook said.

“Oh,” you tried to hide the surprise on your face, “right. Uhm… I’ll see you later then.”

“Do you want to join us?” Sara asked kindly.

Jungkook was already turning away by then, probably too excited to get his drink to think about your feelings. He stopped mid-way, looked back at you, only to see you shake your head.

“I’m okay,” you smiled slightly, “see you two later. I gotta head to the library to study.”

Maybe it was the fact that Jungkook never used to socialize with girls before or that you never noticed, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly disoriented at the sudden switch in the situation, causing Changbin’s earlier words to resonate through your brain. Did Jungkook actually have romantic intentions towards girls.

Did he feel attracted to them? It had never crossed your mind before, but now that Changbin had it labeled as an option, it was as if you couldn’t get the thought out of your head.

And it wasn’t just a one-time occurrence. A few days later you found him cooped up in the library with Sara at his side as they studied the mathematical equations of buildings and helped each other out with their projects. You had joined for a bit, only to feel a bit left out by the conversation and thus opted out early in favour of escaping the rising awkwardness. Not that Jungkook noticed, he never noticed anything.

“Maybe you’re right.” You’d grumbled to Changbin during your art lab a few days later. You had arrived early to class, coffee still steaming in hand, to find the said young man already sitting inside with his final artwork labeled and ready to be submitted on the table.

He looked at you, an eyebrow raising in curiosity, “I’m right about many things,” a smirk graced his face, “do tell.”

“About Jungkook liking girls.”

“No. I said he liked you, that’s a different—“

“It doesn’t matter,” you cut him off, “he doesn’t like me. But he’s—I just realized that maybe he does want a girlfriend. Maybe.”

“What made you say that?”

“He’s been hanging out a lot with a classmate lately,” you shrugged, “it’s just—it feels weird. He never used to be so…social.”

“Good riddance,” Changbin’s smirk grew, which made you throw your pen at his head. It hit him straight on the forehead, “ow! Watch it, woman.”

It was for the best. Really, truly, that Jungkook was expanding his horizons and talking to new people. He couldn’t be in your shadow forever, after all. That was what you kept on repeating yourself as the thoughts replayed through your brain again and again and again. The realization was tough, but change was good. Right?

Change was needed.

And maybe you should change too.

———

"Pigs aren't cute. They bathe in mud and carry numerous bacteria and and these bacteria are transferred to humans."

"Pigs are cute!" You gasped, shoving your phone in Jungkook's face to show him an image of said animal, "look at their babies! They're so fluffy and like tiny and small--"

He pushed your hand away in disgust, "you have weird taste in cutness."

"They're this ugly pink but overall they're quite charming, don't you think?" You giggled as you keptbswiping for photo after photo, "oh gosh, look at this one! He has a bow on his head."

“Y/N you have a weird definition of cute.”

You chuckled, “and you are weird, full stop.”

A few days had passed ever since your encounter with Sara and you hadn’t mentioned anything about the said girl since, thinking that it was probably for the best. And plus, Jungkook had the complete right to do whatever he wanted with his life. Yup. You weren’t there to stop him from talking to a pretty girl.

Maybe you should worry about yourself instead, and try not to focus too much on how it was getting harder and harder to get Jungkook’s attention these days.

Not that anything had changed. You still went on your library study sessions and bought boba together after every art history lecture. You still ate friend chicken and pizza while streaming your favorite movie — the same one that Jungkook asked for every week — and you still hung out with each other as though everything was normal.

But you knew it was far from it, something that your social circle of friends also pointed out during one particular lunchtime.

“He’s so peculiar. How do you hang out with him?” asked your good friend Yoona. You had met her during orientation and the two of you had hung out together quite often ever since. She’d even tagged along to some of your famous movie night Fridays, “I mean, not to sound rude but he’s like the kind of guy you’d find in Internet cafes.”

“He’s not all that bad. You just don’t know him well,” you argued as you took a sip of your iced tea.

“Don’t you think he has a crush on you, Y/N?” Another friend, Jimin, asked. He was busy unwrapping his sandwich and flicked his fringe out of his eyes, cocking his head in a way that made you feel a little self-conscious.

Yoona chortled, “no way. I don’t see it. Although…when you think about it, it would make sense why they would end up together.”

“Right?” Jimin added, “it’s clear as day that you guys have feelings for each oth—“

“Bullshit,” you laughed, “I don’t know why you keep mentioning that. And plus, he’s hanging out with this new girl these days.”

“New girl? Who?” Yoona frowned.

“Her name’s Sara Lee. Heard of her before?”

“Oh,” Jimin straightens, “the pretty girl from architecture right? I think everyone’s heard of her. She’s like an influencer or something.”

“Well you know, if you dress up Jungkook nicely…” Yoona trailed off in thought, “I think he has potential.”

“You think? Girl, the ladies in my course have been eyeing him since the start of the new semester. That’s old news,” Jimin rolled his eyes as you stared them down, eyes darting from one face to another as the new information sunk in.

“Wait—“ you interrupted their flow of conversation, “are you—are you actually serious? Jungkook? Potential? What—“

“I’m surprised you haven’t seen it yet, Y/N,” Yoona said as she slurped down her drink, “I mean— this boy just has wardrobe issues. Nothing that a little bit of fixing can’t solve.”

Contrary to your friends, you had never actually thought of Jungkook— seen of him in this light. Which was why you decided to stare him down in your art history lecture right after lunch, cocking your head this way and that as you examined the angles of his face.

In truth, they were right. Jungkook did have potential to be handsome. Because even with those round glasses and that horrible side part of his, you could still catch a glimpse of his jaw line. His build was hidden, but yet still there underneath the curve of his shoulders. His back was broad, that you were sure of and you couldn’t help imagining how he would look like in a v-neck shirt—

Stop. Your slammed down on your thoughts like car brakes. This was Jungkook, for god’s sake. You’d known him as the annoying classmate in high school, the quirky friend who never wore sweaters or casual wear and was always decked in formal attire. This wasn’t about to change now.

“Y/N, you’ve been staring me down since the start of class and it’s starting to creep me out.”

Jungkook’s voice dragged you back to reality. You blinked, catching his eyes as warmth suddenly flushed through the back of your neck.

“Uh—yeah sorry. Was just lost in thought.” Lies. You were definitely checking him out. You wondered whether he actually knew what that word meant. You were just glad he wasn’t the best at reading physical body language or expressions for that matter.

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked suddenly.

He looked hesitant, but nodded.

“What do you think of Sara?”

“What do I think of Sara?” You watched his eyebrows pull into a frown, “I don’t think I understand this question, Y/N.”

“I mean—do you find Sara attractive? Like as a girl?”

Jungkook was silent for a long moment and though you were usually the best at reading him, the expression on his face was one that you couldn’t decipher.

It made your stomach curl with unease.

And when he finally spoke, you swore your stomach twisted in on itself.

“Sara is pretty.”

Your throat suddenly felt dry. You swallowed thickly, bit down onto your lower lip and tried to wonder what the fuck was wrong with you. It wasn’t like you liked Jungkook…right? Right?

“Would you date her?” You asked.

“I have not thought of it. But yes, she is, by every man’s standards, a very good candidate for a girlfriend.”

Ah. So he did know what it meant after all.

“But would you date her?”

“Probably. Yes.” He looked at you then, tilting his head to the side as though trying to decode what was going on inside that head of yours, “why do you ask?”

“Oh, nothing. No reason.” You tried to smile, lips lifting slightly at the corners in hopes that it would fool him.

It did. Without him knowing that somewhere along the seam of your heart was a small hole that ripped apart its seams.

-—-

Part Two >>

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[roses-red-and-pink]

So, while I'm not a Latter-Day Saint and almost certainly never will be (for a variety of reasons), I find your theology fascinating. And so, I'm asking - what's your favourite distinctively LDS (as in "primarily or exclusively held by them") doctrine and why?

(By the way, I've been avoiding the term out of respect - is it okay to call you a Mormon?)

Hold on. You aren’t??? 🤯 my bad I thought you were as well, I guess because of the “latter day” part of your username.

Ok well now that’s out of the way (sorry!) I’d love to answer your question. I mean I love lots and lots of our theology and doctrine. I think one I really love is our much more expansive view of heaven than the heaven/hell dichotomy. In short, we believe that there are 3 kingdoms of glory, and whichever one you attain is based on the laws you were able to abide by in life. We’ve got the telestial kingdom (full of murderers and thieves and liars and all the types of people you would think of going to hell) and they don’t get to live with God. (Hence why it is hell because separation from God.) but it will still be a nice place to spend eternity. No fires and brimstone. Just lonely I think. And the knowledge of what you could have been but didn’t become.

We have the celestial kingdom, commonly thought of as heaven. This is where The Father and Jesus live. Also we get to be with our families, be married, become like God, learn and grow and be in his presence.

But then we have this Middle Kingdom. The terrestrial kingdom. This is for people who were Good people. They don’t deserve hell, they were good people who loved their neighbours and were generally kind. But they did not accept Jesus Christ. Or if they did, they were not faithful in that testimony. They will have the presence of Jesus with them, so it’s not really hell, but they don’t get the presence of the Father. And, they are like the angels in heaven, neither married nor given in marriage. They don’t get to truly become like God.

Honourable mention goes to baptism for the dead so that people who weren’t baptized in this life still get a chance to accept Jesus Christ even if they never got to hear about him in life.

I think overall I just love how great and merciful Gods plan is. He wants us all to return to him. And he knows not everyone gets a chance here on earth. And he knows we won’t all be faithful to the testimony of Jesus. But he still wants us to be happy in eternity. Gods plan is a plan for everyone.

As to your last question, we prefer not to be called Mormon because it makes it sound like we worship Mormon the prophet, or think he is the basis of our faith. We are the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We follow and worship Jesus Christ so we want to be known by his name. So I appreciate you asking! Thank you!

Here’s a recent video by one of our church leaders explaining this kingdom of glory idea.

#christianity #what a fun ask #still shook you aren’t LDS #my fellow LDS mutuals feel free to correct me if I messed something up #the church of jesus christ of latter day saints #my life

[decompose1]

Whats your favourite internet hoax. Question vague on purpose you can say anytjing you want

OH OH! I HAVE SEVERAL! most of which are from kids' games :o].

The Lost Jammer is quite literally the reason my blog's URL is the way it is, so i'll start with that!

so The Lost Jammer (also sometimes called "Null") was this... Animal Jam hoax. It ties into fman122 (a real hacker, though he inspired a lot of creepypastas that twisted the story a bit)- The Lost Jammer (whose AJ username was "decompose1") was rumored to be fman122 back for revenge after having been banned- some vengeful ex-jammer. Ahh! Scary!

Now, at least as far as i'm aware, i believe decompose1 WAS a real user- and a real hacker- at some point. It isn't that difficult to hack Animal Jam, which is kind of notorious for this at this point. I believe there's evidence that both fman122 and decompose1 DID mess with the site's graphics, cause lag, and possibly breach some accounts? But that's it, of course, these were just run of the mill hackers! I believe it's still unknown whether there was a link between the two or if that was just speculation.

The hoax part is the stories that came from it. For whatever reason, people went wild. There were creepypastas describing The Lost Jammer as some vengeful ghost or spirit, and you could summon them by arranging torches some special way in your den.

Also! Not the lost jammer (maybe), but an interesting ting regarding fman122 himself was how Animal Jam attempted to cover the whole thing up, which DEFINITELY MADE IT WORSE!

fman122 was definitely a real user/hacker- there are plenty of people who remember, interacted with him, and can confirm. But he was banned (for the hacking), and AJHQ... just started lying? They claimed he didn't exist and nothing happened. You can't even say his name in the chat now, the censor catches you! I think that's kind of wild. Had they owned up to the hacking, it would've been fine, but they tried to hide it, which made everything seem wayyyy fishier and pushed things to get out of hand!

-

My other favorite one is The Webkinz Killer! Which had. NO basis in reality at all, unlike TLJ.

There were a few popular rumors, but the main one i remember was about Dr. Quack, the doctor in Webkinz!

The rumor was that if you clicked the eyesight poster in his room enough times, Dr. Quack would go insane and kill your webkinz with a chainsaw. Here's the picture that got used for that:

Other rumors were that a black gift box would appear in your inventory or house(?). If the player opened it, something would come out and kill all of their webkinz (what was in the box varied- some people thought it was a feral webkinz, some thought it was a neopet since neopets was a competing site at the time). Opening the black box was also rumored to give your computer a virus.

I also seem to remember a rumor that Ms. Birdy would appear in your house and silently, wordlessly follow you around, and would not leave no matter where you went or what you did. She would eventually kill all your webkinz. I remember that particular rumor creeping me out the most!

Webkinz handled this a bit better, and ended up making a statement- at the very least- that Dr. Quack is a good man who would not hurt your webkinz, ever.

Sorry this got long! you activated my Weird Special Interest Trap Card!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC!!! GOOD EVENING!!!!!! im thinking soo hard abt interesting fairytale things rn but also. i would LOVE to hear abt ur danny phantom thing?(images aren't loading for me but i think? graphic novel? normal novel?? 👀) ??????!!!! i'm peripherally interested in dp on the basis that my beloved mutual (u) is into it & im!!!! curious!!!! whys it so good!!!! tell me!! free infodump card for u 👀👀👀

THIS ASK IS A MISTAKE. BEWARE. FUCK. DUDE I COULD TALK ABOUT DANNY PHANTOM FOR SO LONG IM NOT EVEN KIDDING IVE GOT . NEARLY 20 YEARS WORTH OF LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. I AM 23 YESRS OLD. THATS HOW SERIOUS I AM . IM.*THE* DANNY PHANTOM GUY THERES A REASON ALL OF MY USERNAMES ARE DP REFERENCES. ohhhh my god. where do i even fucking start. i guess ill start with agit but im still so overwhelmed with love that i have not fully processed yet so prepare for this to be a total fucking mess of words

so. the show ended in.. 2007. and. god the last episode sucks so fucking bad. bad enough that the fandom as a whole collectively agrees it does not exist it never happened . phantom planet isnt real phantom planet cant hurt you if you dont look at it or think about it ever. i could go on a whole. rant about how much phantom planet sucks but instead ill just say butch hartman (<< creator of the show) is a fucking. annoying awful person and he was greedy + wanted more money from nickelodeon than they were willing to give him so they gave him a hard limit on episodes before the shoe would be canceled. so. season 3 goes downhill SO fast and ends with the fucking disaster that is phantom planet . and !!! you know how disappointing it is to have your facorite show have a garbage ending!! it sucks!! so then there was like. a HUGE HUGE long silence where there was. 0 canon content bc hartman considered it a flop and kind of just. abandoned it until he wanted clout (there were a few gameboy games that came out after the show ended + some nickelodeon games that included danny as a character + butch made a youtube channel where he would spout absolute death of the author garbage about the show every time he wanted attention but it was mostly dead silence) UNTIL. AGIT. A GLITCH IN TIME IS THE FIRST CANON SHOW COMPLIANT CONTENT THAT HAS BEEN RELEASED SINCE 200 GODDAMN 7. FUCK . and not only is it canon compliant it is ALSO A CONTINUATION OF MY FAVORITE EPISODE IN THE WHOLE SERIES.

so. my favorite episode. is ultimate enemy. it was one of the 4 movie-length episodes and the basic premise is. danny uses his ghodt powers to cheat on a huge standardized test and this sets off a butterfly effect reaction that leads to a timeline where his family + friends get killed in an explosion and he loses his mind and turns into the worlds most powerful villain <3 you can see why i like it so much im sure (<< guy who has a documented chronic weakness for stories where a good guy turns bad etc)

SO AT THE END OF THE EPISODE. Dan (the evil future danny) is trapped and locked away forever . but at the end of the ep theres a scene that hints to a possible future episode where he escapes !!!! so there was always a teased sequel but this sequel was never created due to aforementioned. budget issues and cancellation. etc. buggest disappointment of my life. UNTIL AGIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was released. july of this year . and i am just reading it now bc its been burning a hole in my bedside table bc it never felt like the right time to read it until this morning for some reason. and fuck its so good its literally everything i wanted.

i dont know how involved butch hartman was in the creation of it but the author (gabriela epstein) is obviously someone who cares deeply about the show and the characters and im so fucking happy about it she did an incredible job. i literally had to pause a handful of times in the first few pages just because the characters and dialogue were written so well and it was like SUCH a breath of fresh air (the fandom is. so bad. its so bad. because its been around for so long people have such insane warped takes on a lot of the characters and its become completely unbearable to me ive had to block the tag and its so painful. this is literally the only reason i am not reblogging dp content constantly. i have to filter it through artists i know can handle the characters properly. if i was not nerfed by the awful fandom it would be 24/7/365 dp lockdown and id be so unbearable) OH ALSO not only is agit a continuation of my alltime favorite episode, it also retcons the garbage pile that is phantom planet in a way that acknowledges that it was a real thing that happened but going back on it in a way that feels so so so so natural for the show. so it wasnt a throwaway "no that was bad lets forget about it" it was a well crafted well thought out "this was real and it sucked and the characters remember it BUT we can play with timeline so things will continue as normal" and . holy shit it was so fucking good. i will begrudgingly acknowledge phantom planets existence if only for agit.

uhhhhhhhh fuck this is so long and i am running our of directed steam so if i keep talking i will just start rambling about the intricacies and holy shit dude i could literally talk about danny phantom for hours and hours and hours and hours if theres anything else u want to know i am the guy . i am the guy forever

#ohhhh my god my hands are literally tired now i typed this out so fast #not putting this under a readmore. everyone deserves to know how annoying i can and will be about danny phantom #this show is like. a HUGE HUGE part of my identity. danny is how i realized i was trans. #im the worlds biggest phantom kinnie im dead serious. i love him so much i love the world and the characters so much. #i have notes ans notes and notes in my phone of carefully curated headcanons that ive had since i was like 12 years old. #i was making stuff for dp before i even knew what the word fandom was. #dp saw me through my abusive friendship and the resulting worst breakup of my life that i am still actively in therapy about. #it means so much to me its MY show. i will allow myself to be pretentious about ONE thing anf that thing is danny phantom #aaaauagahghghhgggghh #basically agit was something i needed so desperately in my life and its so full of love and good characterization #i am like a man who has been starving in the desert for 16 years and agit was a beautiful oasis #asks #intertexts #hi ros <3 sorry i have dp disease every yime someone sends me an ask about it my answer is always 20 years long #friends!!!

[whyisizzyhandsangrytoday]

i'm saying this as something i find very funny and not as a complaint: literally every time i see one of your posts in the izzy hands tag i think "why is someone posting a random update about their life in a fandom tag?" and then i read the username and it clicks. i always forget that this blog exists and i never read the blog's name before the post itself so it's just gonna keep happening lol

No worries this blog is like 2 weeks old so and that’s still new in my book so I wouldn’t begrudge anyone for forgetting of its existence.

wiihat lore: This blog is the result of a conversation I had with a friend on vacation earlier this month we were at the beach taking pictures of my Izzy doll and we were thinking of reasons he looked so pissed in the pictures and I was like “hey that would make a good basis for tumblr” and so far as I can tell it’s been a moderate success.

#not a reason Izzy Hands is angry

[shamelesslymkp]

OK! I got the greenlight from my brother, so his Major Xmas Gift this year is me getting a goddamn Redbubble store set up for him, which I think I can do so long as a) he gets me the art files and b) our mom gets me his bank info for auto-deposits etc.

The part I’m tripping up about in mentally planning is in how I’m going to promote his work - he’s honestly fucking TERRIBLE at it; he had a tumblr (which he stopped using), he has an instagram (that he generally forgets exists), he has an actual website (that he doesn’t update), and - and here’s the main thing - my default main internet identity is this one, which is my fandom and also kink scene pseud, which I do NOT want linked to his artist (and therefore default main) internet identity.

(this is for multiple reasons including but not limited to: 1) not wanting to fuck up his rep, 2) not wanting him to see/read my shit, 3) not wanting our MOM to find out and start monitoring THIS username too, etc.)

so what I think I might do is make a side-blog promoting his art and do a few judicious blazes of the most likely to sell stuff, but at that point I’m getting into a much longer-term investment than I originally intended, and I don’t know if that’s actually appropriate or healthy for me to do long-term - not that I don’t love my brother or his art, and not that I think it’s inherently inappropriate or unhealthy to manage a loved one’s business, particularly a loved one who’s unable to do so on their own, but because I am still generally struggling to handle my own shit on a consistent basis?

anyways. chickens, eggs, etc. trying to count them now will just be overwhelming. we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, etc.

[sjsmith56]

The Plan - Part 23, From There to Here - Bucky Barnes One Shots

Summary: After the final battle against Thanos the remaining Avengers are transported to a military base. Steve gives the order that Bucky is to be protected at all times, expecting that the authorities will try to take him into custody. After getting Bucky’s status clarified, Steve takes his friend to see Rebecca, still alive. He also breaks the news that he plans to return to the past but explains why.

Length: 8.8 K

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Colonel Rhodes, Sam Wilson, King T’Challa, assorted Avengers and military types

Warnings: Steve leaving (reasons obviously not canon, but it’s an interpretation), Bucky feeling abandoned, the military trying (and failing) to take Bucky for their own purposes, sad reunion with Rebecca.

Author’s notes: Told from Bucky’s POV as he tries to make sense of what will happen to him. Like many other fans, Steve’s leaving felt unnatural and unsatisfying to me. This one shot is my take on one possible reason why he did it, and why Bucky accepted it, even though it still bothered him. It also formed the basis for another fanfic story I wrote Stopping Winter, that details what Steve was up to on his return to the 1940s. If you wish to read this it is currently a WIP on Wattpad, AO3, and FanFiction.net under my username, SJSmith56.

<<Part 22

⭐️⭐️⭐️

The fight was over, and we won but we also lost. Tony Stark finally proved to all of his detractors that he could make the ultimate sacrifice and he did, saving the universe from a being that made HYDRA look like school children but losing his life in the process. The last time I had seen him was when Steve and I left him in Siberia, in a broken Iron Man suit, while we hightailed it for Wakanda. That was the time he wanted to kill me for being the one who took his parent's lives. It wasn't how I wanted to resolve things with him, not that it's really possible to resolve anything when you're fighting together on the battlefield.

When many of us rematerialized in Wakanda seemingly right after the battle we lost, we didn't know it had been five years ... five years of not being in existence, then several sorcerers appeared and told us to get armed as the fight had resumed, only this time in New York State. None of us got a chance to ask about anything, or anyone. None of us were given the opportunity to deal with the fact that the world had changed while we were ... just gone. We had to walk through one of those weird portals into another battlefield, a hellish one at that and meet a different version of Thanos. Just as dangerous but now determined to snap everyone out of existence.

It seemed like an eternity of fighting, shooting, close combat with more nightmare creatures, until Stark raised his hand, with the stones on them, the power of them tearing him apart, and stating defiantly, "I am Iron Man," before snapping his fingers and sending Thanos and all of his legions into oblivion. Then he fell against a concrete block where a kid started crying over him then a beautiful blonde woman, his wife I was told, smiled kindly at him and told him to rest. He closed his eyes and died. I never got to tell him how sorry I was that it was me that killed his parents, me that put that everlasting pain of loss into his heart.

As portals opened to send some of the combatants back to their country, even back to their planet, I stood there, unsure of what to do. I was still wanted and once the authorities found me on the battlefield with the others, I was sure they were going to arrest me, and shuffle me off to a secure prison before putting me on trial, or court martial, find me guilty and put me in front of a firing squad. But I was done with running, done with hiding, so I waited for the inevitable to happen. As I waited, several of the others, the Avengers, slowly gathered around me. At first, I thought they were there to help take me in then Steve looked over at me, nodded, and pressed his comms. I could hear his command through my comms earpiece, and I almost cried when he said it.

"Protect Bucky," he said. "No one takes him in. He's one of us."

It was King T'Challa who spoke next. "We are here, Captain," he said. "Wakanda will stand with you and the Avengers."

When trucks were sent to transport us to a military base there were armed guards waiting to take me but the looks they received from the others and the order Steve gave them to stand down was confirmed. They stood aside as we all boarded the trucks. Steve made sure I was beside him.

"What happened?" I asked. "I remember my hand beginning to disintegrate then nothing until I was suddenly standing up in Wakanda."

He smiled at me. "Wait until we get into one place, all together, and we'll explain it all," he replied. "We all need a shower and a change of clothes, but we'll tell you everything, I promise."

The trip from the desolation of the battlefield to a base with green grass and trees was less than an hour's duration but we could feel our hearts lift at the change as the sun shone on us and the sound of birdsong was all around. When the truck stopped in front of a barracks building an officer stepped to the open end of the truck and looked for Steve, making eye contact with him.

"Captain Rogers?" he said. "I have orders to take Sergeant Barnes into custody."

"No," said Steve, stepping towards the officer. "He stays with us."

"Sir, it's not negotiable," said the officer. "This comes from the Joint Chiefs."

"He's an Avenger, and we just defeated an alien force from decimating the entire world," stated Steve. "We're hungry, dirty, and tired. But we're all willing to fight for Bucky Barnes, because he's one of us. That's also not negotiable." He looked back at all of us, receiving nods of agreement from the others. "You really want to be the guy who picks a fight with us? Because I could fight all day."

I smiled. Some things didn't change. The man looked very frustrated then stepped back.

"Let them go," he said to the armed guard. Then he turned to Steve. "He's your responsibility, Cap. If he goes after anyone, we'll take him down."

"If anyone tries to hurt him in any way, I'll take them down," replied Steve. "He's to be given the respect due to a Sergeant in the Army, which he is, who has been a PoW for 70 years, because he was. Do I make myself clear, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir, crystal clear. I'll pass the word."

Only then did Steve jump out the back and we all followed. The lieutenant led us to the barracks and directed us to a hallway where we could pick our own rooms. He said there were toiletries and clothing ready for us. Then he looked at how big I was, along with another guy with long blond hair who was even bigger than me, saying he would bring bigger sized clothing for us. Steve insisted we bunk together, not trusting the military to keep their word and leave me alone. It was easy enough to carry a bed from one room into his, along with a locker, and the personal items that were there for us. While I waited for my change of clothes Steve had a shower, coming out wrapped in a towel. A soldier knocked on the door and dropped off some military athletic wear for me, a sweatshirt, sweatpants, underwear, socks, and what he called sneakers. They hardly weighed anything, and I wasn't sure they would hold up. Steve smiled.

"They are really comfortable," he said. "Once we debrief and get out of here, I'll take you shopping, and we'll get you some regular clothes. Go, have your shower."

Entering into the bathroom I stripped down and turned the shower on, stepping under the very warm stream. In Wakanda the water in the hut had been lukewarm which was fine in the heat, but this water was hot, and I let it hit my back, angling it so the spray went right between my shoulder blades. There was shampoo so I washed my hair, running it through my fingers so it wouldn't get tangled. I noticed then that unlike my HYDRA hand my hair didn't get tangled in the plates of this vibranium hand. It was definitely an enjoyable sensation. Before I came out, I peeked to make sure no one else was in the room as I was still a bit leery of people seeing my body. The scars had faded but were still quite prominent to me, and the arm and shoulder unit were definitely topics of a conversation that I really didn't want to have. Fortunately, Steve was alone.

"How's the new arm?" he asked, making me swear inside my head but he was Steve, so I gave him a pass.

"It's good. Much lighter than the other, stronger too. Just noticed when I washed my hair that it didn't get tangled in the plates. It always did with my other one."

He took a deep breath then and I knew he had news for me, likely bad news at that. I was shocked when he told me something else entirely.

"Rebecca is still alive," he said. "She survived the Snap and still lives in the retirement home in New Jersey. I think we should go see her."

"Freckles?" I asked. "She's what, 93 now? No, she doesn't remember me."

"She does and she wants to see you," said Steve. "She told me at her birthday party. The hippies and Grant Allman came out for it as well. Megan drove Summer, her dad James, and Tamsin. She's graduated from college, honours degree in political science. Grant went with me. It was a great day."

"You were all there together," I said, not believing him.

"We were all invited to her birthday party," he replied, as this shit-eating grin spread across his face. "You would have loved it. She has another three great grandchildren. There were balloons, streamers, and a big chocolate cake."

"How did you meet Grant?" I asked, surprised they had connected.

"He contacted me," said Steve. "He went to all the safe houses on the list you gave him. Used the money to change his life, helped quite a few veterans to get through some problems, and helped accumulate HYDRA files on you."

I sat down. They knew everything. Knew what I had done. Steve saw my face and stopped smiling, his face becoming serious.

"Bucky, we have the evidence to prove you were tortured, brainwashed, and forced to become the Winter Soldier," he said. "Despite what the Joint Chiefs of Staff believe they have no case against you. We were working on getting you a posthumous pardon, now we'll re-file the motion as a pardon for a living person. You'll probably have to appear in court, but we'll make sure we get you a good lawyer who will represent you properly. With the witnesses we have willing to testify to your character after you left HYDRA, they'll accept that you are not the Winter Soldier anymore. T'Challa will also provide the medical documentation of everything they found when they deprogrammed you."

For a time, I said nothing, just put my clothes on. "What if I believe I deserve punishment?" I asked. "I did all those things, Steve. I killed all those people. My journals are full of them. Speaking of which, where are my journals?"

Suddenly, I felt anxious as my whole being was in those books. My heart started to pound as I contemplated that they were all gone. Steve came over to my bunk and kneeled before me.

"They're in a safe location, still in Wakanda," he said. "All of the HYDRA files that we found, and that were found on your behalf are being stored in a secure place in New Jersey. They've been digitized." I looked at him, confused by what that meant. "Put into computer format. Bucky, do you remember Jovan Sakić?"

I nodded. He was the Roma leader in Croatia, born in New Jersey.

"He's been searching as well, not just your files, but all of HYDRA's files. Many of his people were victims. When you stood up for them in Zagreb, they adopted you as one of their own, meaning your fight is their fight. He's also watched out for Rebecca, making sure she has everything she needs."

I rubbed my hands on my face. All these people, who I had accepted help from had determined that I helped them and were paying it back, trying to help me clear my name. It was overwhelming and I didn't know what to say. Which was just as well as there was a knock on the door. Steve opened it to a man I remembered meeting in Wakanda. Rhodes was his name, I think. He came in and acknowledged me.

"Sergeant," he said, then he turned to Steve. "I hear they tried to take custody of Barnes. Sam and I talked to the lieutenant, and he tried to tell us the order came from the Joint Chiefs. I phoned my source in Washington, and it didn't. It came from the Military Intelligence Corps. We're pretty sure they want to "examine" Sergeant Barnes, then second him to their command."

"You mean turn me into their asset," I said. "Fucking unbelievable."

"I agree," said Rhodes. "So, I phoned the President. We've golfed several times. He has agreed to remand you to the custody of Cap here. It was the best I could do. Where he goes, you go. But if you step out of line...."

"Yeah, I get it," I said. "I'll behave. I'm not the Soldier anymore. Thank you for getting that at least."

"Hey, if it was up to me, I would show the whole world what was done to you, so they know how true evil works," said Rhodes. "HYDRA made you their weapon, but they had people who were high up in government, industry, and the military who were the ones making the decisions. They're the real criminals and some of them were in the perfect position to play one side against the other. Wars were started because of some of these people and their influence is still at play as some in command still refuse to believe they were compromised."

"Thanks, Rhodey," said Steve. "We should meet up in the mess for some food, and a debrief for those who reappeared. Bucky said they weren't given any time to adjust before coming to the battlefield."

"Sounds good, I'll pass the word."

He headed out and Steve looked at me. "Hungry?"

"Starving," I replied. "Even for army food."

We headed towards the mess hall, picking up more of the Avengers and a few others, including the talking raccoon, who eyed my arm, a tree person, a green skinned woman, and several other alien looking people. Steve said the green skinned woman was Thanos’ daughter, as was another blue skinned woman who seemed to have more cybernetic parts to her than I did. Both turned against him, so I guess their help was invaluable. When T'Challa and several Dora Milaje appeared all conversation from the regular military stopped. The women all made faces at the food but T'Challa said something in Wakandan that made me laugh. I didn't pass it on to the others, but I couldn't disagree with him that it was at least edible.

Once we had eaten our fill and Steve asked if we could use the mess hall for a debriefing, he stood in front of everyone, looking at every single person in turn.

"First of all, thank you for your efforts," he said. "We were able to find a way to bring all of you who disappeared back. When Thanos snapped his fingers in 2018, he had one thought on his mind ... that half of all living things disappeared. There was no rhyme or reason to it. His thought spread throughout the galaxy, possibly the universe and it wasn't limited to sentient life. Even animals disappeared. Then one of the Avengers, Scott Lang, who was trapped in a quantum dimension when it happened, was able to return and realized that for him only hours had passed in the almost 5 years that passed in this realm. I won't get into the science behind that. Those of you who are interested can talk directly to Bruce Banner, as he was part of the team that designed the replacement gauntlet and built the machine that transported us. Basically, we had to go back in time, using the quantum dimension, to where the stones still existed, borrow them, and bring them here to snap everyone back into existence. A complication occurred ... mainly a past version of Thanos found out and planted a spy in our midst who helped him get to this time and this place. That's how we found ourselves fighting him again. Except this time, we succeeded."

There was an increase in general comments and side conversations then Steve asked for our attention again.

"The stones that we brought from the past ... they have to go back to the exact moment we took them, otherwise we risk creating multiple timelines that will deviate from the original one and we've been warned that's a very bad thing. Unfortunately, one of the first things Thanos did when he arrived was to destroy the device we used to travel in time. Bruce, I'm going to ask if you can oversee digging it up and if there is anyone here with any kind of knowledge that can help rebuild at least one station, I'll volunteer to return the stones to where and when they belong."

"I will help," said Shuri, standing up. "I have the knowledge, despite how young I look."

"I'd like a try at it, Cap," said a gravelly voice, then the raccoon stood on top of his table. "I can build just about anything. That's no bullshit."

"My dad," said Hope Van Dyne. "He created the Pym particles that you apparently used to do this. I'm sure he would help. So would my mom. They're both geniuses."

"Alright," smiled Steve. "We have a plan. Bruce, Princess Shuri, Rocket, Hank Pym, and Janet Van Dyne will do what they can to rebuild the device. I would also ask that you all stay at or near the base until we have a memorial for Tony Stark. We owe him that much. I'll find out what I can about it. Until then we're based here. Try not to be too hard on the soldiers. They're not used to this many unusual people in one place."

With Steve finished and talking to some of the others Sam came and sat next to me, nodding at me in acknowledgement.

"What?" I asked, still not warmed up to him.

"How are you doing?" he asked and I looked at him before looking away, not answering. "Don't do that. I'm genuinely interested. I have a background in counselling veterans with PTSD. I know that I personally am having issues about being gone for 5 years. I still haven't phoned my sister and I'd like to take a side trip to see her .... Sorry, see what I mean? You have other issues, Buck. Being dissolved and watching as it happens doesn't help dealing with them."

"Don't call me Buck," I said. "To you I'm Bucky or Barnes. Only Steve gets to call me Buck."

"Fine, Bucky," he said, emphasizing the extra syllable.

I just shook my head. The guy was an asshole and probably thought the same of me. Which I didn't mind because I knew I could also be an asshole, had known since I could think. Then I let go of some of my aggression and looked at him.

"I know you mean well," I said. "I really do but I'm quite messed up. The only place I felt good was Wakanda and now I'm not there. They wanted to take me into custody here, the Military Intelligence Corps. Doesn't take much to know that they want my skills. I don't want to kill anymore. I did what I could to protect the human race from Thanos, but I can't do any more than that, not again."

He listened then gazed seriously at me. "I get that," he said. "You were under someone else's control for so long that your freedom to choose is important, really important to you. I'm going to make a suggestion. Whether you listen or not is up to you. Get a therapist, someone who can listen to you objectively, and help you work through your issues. You have 70 years of imprisonment and slavery to deal with. No one can do it on their own. You've lost most of your family, most of your friends, and you're a man out of your time. I know we didn't get along so well at times and that reflects my own biases. For that, I'm sorry. But I am invested in your future. If you need someone to talk to just call me. I'll pick up the phone."

He stood up, patted my shoulder then left me. Why the hell did he do that? Made himself helpful ... damn, I hated that. But Steve liked him, and I knew the little shit would pester me to be more friendly with Sam. Despite my misgivings I was going to have to trust someone.

Steve approached me again. "I've arranged transport for us into town tomorrow to get some clothing, and other necessities," he said.

"I have no money," I replied.

"I do," he said, pulling a wallet out of his combat pants. "I always carry my wallet."

"Punk," I muttered, receiving a big grin from him.

The rest of the evening was spent with Steve constantly being in demand while I sat back and cooled my heels. Only the Wakandans stayed near, occasionally making a comment in their language. Nothing offensive, just observations of life in America. It wasn't that the others were afraid of me, or maybe it was to a degree, but just that they didn't know me. I was the new one and the one with a dark past.

The following morning we met up with an older army sergeant, Dan Hobbs. He saluted Steve, even though Steve said he wasn't in the army anymore. Then he looked at me making me feel like I was being evaluated. He must have been an instructor at some point because of what he told me.

"I've read some of the HYDRA files on you," he finally said. "I read that you were trained as a sniper, and they were pleased about that because your instincts as a sniper would be kept intact and they wouldn't have to expend any effort in training in you in that, or in most of your combat skills for that matter."

"Yes, Sarge," I replied. "That's my understanding."

"That was good thinking on their part," he noted. "You boys that were trained as snipers for World War II learned from the best. I respect your skills, Sergeant Barnes, but if you try to escape while we're out, I've been ordered to shoot to kill."

"I have nowhere to go Sarge," I answered. "I'm not looking to escape. I just want some real clothes to wear. Not that there's anything wrong with these.”

He grinned. "Understood. Let's go, my truck is in the parking lot."

The trip into the nearest town didn't take long but Sergeant Hobbs wouldn't shut the hell up. He had an opinion on everything, from the colour of the street name signs to the way young men cut their hair, or didn't cut their hair, as he gave my long locks a good long look. He came with us to the clothing store, always inserting his opinion on one piece of clothing over another. Not that it really mattered because it had been so long since I had bought clothes that I just wanted to get the first things I could and get the hell out of there. After determining what size I needed we began going through the shelves or hangers and picking things out. Most of it was black or dark in colour, black or dark blue jeans (as I had become used to wearing them when I lived in Romania), T-shirts (mostly dark colours), underwear, socks, and a comfortable pair of black lace up boots. The sneakers were fine but they didn't feel right for walking. As we were walking past a display, I saw the shirts I really liked, advertised as Henley's, long sleeved T-shirts but with a button up collar. I found my size and grabbed several, not caring about the colour.

"What about a jacket?" asked Steve. "Black?"

"Black," I confirmed. "I need gloves as well."

"Can I give you some advice Barnes?" asked Hobbs, then didn't wait for an answer. "I figure at some point you're going to have to appear in court, either to face trial or to give your testimony in the likely investigation of how deeply HYDRA had infiltrated the military. Cut your hair and wear a suit, with a tie. Don't show up with that long hair and don't wear blue jeans. Present yourself as a real man and they'll respect you right away. Show your metal hand. I know you have a different one now which is good, because different will distance you from those Nazis. I guess what I'm trying to say is you have to represent yourself as a good man and how you look when you walk into that courtroom could set the stage for how they treat you."

It was good advice and I acknowledged it but I had reached the end of my tether for being out in public so Steve said we could leave buying a suit to another day. Hobbs drove us back and we headed back to the barracks with my haul. We had missed lunch so both of us were already feeling the effects of not having enough food to sustain us. Just before we entered the door to our room a private brought a note to Steve and he made a face, then shook his head.

"They're not happy that I challenged their authority about taking you into custody," he said. "I've been called to the CO's office to explain myself. You're not invited."

"You think they might try again while you're gone?" I asked.

"They shouldn't, not if the President has intervened," he replied. "I better find Rhodey and tell him about this. He might want to come with me. In the meantime, I'm sure we can find somewhere for you to be, surrounded by friends."

For a moment he said nothing, as if he wanted to talk about something serious then someone knocked on the door. He was definitely in demand. This time it was Sam.

"Just noticed an armed guard outside," he said. "I'm thinking they're here for Bucky."

"Shit," said Steve. "I've been called to the CO's office to explain why I intervened. Have you seen Rhodey?"

"In his quarters," said Sam. "What's the plan?"

"Gather everyone," said Steve. "Bucky isn't to be left alone for them to grab him. He's still under Avengers protection. Make sure T'Challa and the Dora Milaje are aware of this. The Wakandans, Thor, and Peter are our strongest fighters, although I hope it doesn't come down to that." He looked at me. "Let's go find Rhodey."

After filling Rhodes in we went to the mess hall where everyone else had gathered. Sitting me in the middle of the group Steve and Rhodes went to the CO's office. As soon as they left the armed guard came in and headed straight towards us. Before they could get to me the Dora Milaje stood in their way.

Now, anyone who has never seen the Dora Milaje before tends to underestimate them. They think they are decorative in purpose, exotic looking women surrounding a foreign king as part of his "harem." Nothing could be further from the truth. They are bodyguards first, but their structure is military, with a general, Okoye, who commands them with the toughness of any drill sergeant I ever encountered. Armed with their vibranium spears, and their intricate knowledge of hand-to-hand combat they are fearsome warriors. The corporal who attempted to order them aside found out the hard way that no one tells the Dora Milaje what to do.

"Move aside, ma'am," he said, smirking at her. "We have orders to take Sergeant Barnes into custody."

"No," was Okoye's simple response.

Then he tried to push her aside and met an immovable force. As everyone else in our group tensed up, ready for a fight, King T'Challa stepped forward.

"Corporal," he said, in his deceptively calm voice, "you do not want to proceed any further. General Okoye has committed to keeping Sergeant Barnes from harm and she will not let you pass."

"General ...," smirked the corporal. "In case you haven't noticed we're armed with guns. Your spears will not be enough to keep us from Barnes."

A slight uprising of her lips was the only indicator that Okoye was amused but she still didn't stand down. Visibly irritated the corporal attempted once again to get past her and found himself on the floor. Before his guards could even react the five other members of the Dora Milaje who were there disarmed the others and had them on the floor as well. The others in our group just watched and let it happen, knowing the guards needed to be taught an object lesson. When another squad of armed men arrived, the others stood up, even me but Sam gently touched my arm.

"Let us handle it," he said. "I'm guessing they're trying to goad you into reacting, giving them an excuse to take you with force."

I nodded but all of my instincts were on alert, and I could feel the adrenaline flowing through me, as HYDRA had always conditioned me to accept the fight response, rather than the flight option. That is where Steve, Rhodes, and Sergeant Hobbs found us, in this tense standoff. Using his sergeant's voice, Hobbs called the soldiers off, ordering them to stand down then stand at attention while he addressed them. When the corporal objected, I had to smile as the shorter Hobbs stood in front of the younger man and glared at him.

"What part of that order did you not understand, Patterson?" he asked. "Who ordered you to come here and create an international incident?"

"Sarge?" he asked, genuinely confused. I almost felt sorry for him. "I ... uh, a Captain Meriweather."

"From the Military Intelligence Division, am I right?" he asked. Patterson nodded. "Do you normally obey orders from someone not affiliated with the base? The order that Sergeant Barnes was not to be bothered was given by the Commander in Chief. The Commander in Chief! You know who that is, right?"

"The President?" winced the young corporal. "But Sarge, Captain Meriweather ...."

"Is in the CO's office right now, explaining why he just tried to countermand the President's order." Hobbs looked past Patterson at all the other soldiers, then raised his voice so that any other soldier in the mess hall could hear him. "Just so you all understand ... Sergeant Barnes is a sergeant in the United States Army. He was a prisoner of war for 70 years until he escaped from his captors. The President has given him permission not to report for duty until his legal issues have been resolved, which includes him being free to retain legal counsel and to go about his way unhindered. Until then he is to be given the respect due a man in his position. I had the privilege of spending some time with Sergeant Barnes today, and in my opinion, he is a man who I want on my six." He looked back at me, our eyes meeting. He nodded at me, and I nodded back. "If I hear any sort of disrespect spoken of Sergeant Barnes, I can make sure that some extra training can be added to everyone's daily duties. Dismissed."

As everyone in our group stood down the soldiers picked up their guns from the floor and slinked off under the watchful eye of Sergeant Dan Hobbs. With both of them shaking their heads at what almost happened Steve and Rhodes approached us.

"Well, good thing the CO had already called Washington to confirm the order," said Rhodes. "That Captain Meriweather tried to do an end run around it, claiming he wasn't aware of the President becoming involved. That just irritated the President and the CO even further. Sarge, you still have to have an escort, but it's not limited to Steve anymore. It's been expanded to include Sam, and me, if you trust us."

"The CO has also assigned me a vehicle so we can go see Rebecca tomorrow," said Steve. "On the way back, we'll stop to see a lawyer that Grant found for you."

"Thanks, I appreciate it, all of it."

I did appreciate it, but everything seemed to be happening so fast that I was having trouble keeping up. At that moment I could feel a headache coming on. Since it was almost dinner time, I ate but as soon as I was done, I told Steve I just wanted to rest. Even though we had slept the night before it wasn't a good sleep as we were both still filled with the adrenaline of the battle. After getting the necessities taken care of during the day we both wanted some time to relax. As we talked while we got ready for bed we reminisced about the times when we slept over at each other's homes. It was a lifetime ago but in the dark of that barracks room it felt right. Just before I fell asleep, I thought of something.

"Steve?"

"Uh huh?" he mumbled.

"We're gonna get a place together, back in Brooklyn, aren't we?" I asked.

There was no reply then I could hear him breathe out. "We'll talk about it tomorrow," he said. "I'd like that, but I only have a one-bedroom flat."

It sounded like there were other things going on that he wouldn't give me a straight answer to but I didn't want to push it, even though I could feel the anxiety beginning to build again. I had to trust Steve. So far he hadn't let me down.

The following morning, we were about half an hour away from the base when Steve finally stopped talking about mundane things and came clean.

"I'm not making any plans because I'm not sure I'm staying," he said.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"It's not really a where but a when," he said. He glanced at me and my face must have alarmed him. "Give me moment to explain."

He told me about how they went back to various points in time to take the stones, at times and places they knew they would be available. To keep those timelines going the way they should the stones had to be replaced at the exact same moment and time.

"I'm doing it because I can move fast enough to replace them without anyone seeing me," he said, his forehead creasing a little. "Since we thought everyone who disappeared was dead, I've been thinking about leaving it all behind, the superhero thing. It wears on me. The responsibility, the effort it takes; it's become too much. I wanted a simpler life and I had it until Scott appeared to tell us about the quantum universe. I don't want to be Captain America anymore. I just want to be Steve Rogers."

"So, what does that have to do with travelling in time?" I asked, making him grimace slightly, then I got it. "You want to go back."

"Yeah, I do," he said. "We can both go back."

"What about facing the charges against me?" I asked. "That sounds like running out on everyone who's stuck their neck out for me, doesn't it?"

"That's one way of seeing it," he agreed. "But you could start over with a clean slate. Say you were a PoW and that you lost your memory. We show up a few years after the war and we begin our lives again."

If it were only that easy. I looked down at my hands, seeing the first obstacle right there. "How do I explain this?" I asked, holding up my vibranium hand. "It's advanced even for this time. Plus, if HYDRA ever gets an inkling that I'm back don't you think they would come after me again?"

"Yeah, there is that possibility," he said, as he kept driving. "I loved her, Bucky. Tony and I went back to the 1970s to get Pym particles and one of the stones. I was in Peggy's office and she still kept a picture of me, pre-serum me. She loved me in both my bodies, skinny Steve and Captain America Steve."

"So you want to go back for her," I clarified, sounding more irritated than I thought I did, "more than you want to stay here and help me see this through. That's some plan."

"Buck don't be angry," he said. "There's another reason to do this but we have to see Rebecca, so you see it for yourself."

I tried to get him to explain but he wouldn't, just kept saying I would find out at Rebecca's. Eventually, I gave up trying to get him to say more and we drove the rest of the way to Newark in silence. As we pulled up to the senior's home, I could see it was a very nice place, with well-tended flower beds out front. Inside was just as nice; clean, bright, and by the sounds of it, full of activities for the residents. After checking in at the reception Steve led me to Rebecca's room before stopping me in the hallway.

"Let me get her ready to see you," he said. "She knows you're coming but I imagine she'll still be in a bit of shock when you walk in."

As I cooled my heels in the hallway I could hear him talking to her, telling her I was just outside. He asked if she was ready to see me. Then he was there at the door, beckoning me in. I stepped into the room, seeing a tiny white-haired woman with bright blue eyes, sitting in an armchair. Her eyes filled with tears when she saw me and I kneeled down to her, feeling like I wanted to cry myself.

"Bucky," she whispered, running her fingertips over my face. "My big brother. Look at you. You've hardly changed and I'm an old woman."

"Oh, Freckles," I murmured. "You're still beautiful. I still see my baby sister."

She kissed me then and put her arms around me, drawing me in close. I could feel her tears making my cheek wet and I rubbed her back with my hand, trying to comfort her. We stayed like that for several minutes before she finally loosened her hold on me. As I leaned back, she took in all of my face again.

"If I hadn't seen Steve and how young he remained I wouldn't have believed it possible," she said. "Those people that kept you prisoner ... I hate them. They stole you from us. Ma and Dad died without knowing the truth. Is it true some people want to put you on trial for what you were forced to do?"

I nodded. "Steve said they have all sorts of evidence that prove I was tortured into it but I still did it, Freckles," I replied. "I still feel guilt for the people I killed."

"I know," she smiled sadly. "That's just the type of man you always were, Bucky. You always owned up to your mistakes." She looked over at Steve. "Did you tell him?"

"About going back, yes," he said. "But not about the letter. You still have it?"

She nodded. "It's in the top drawer of my desk. I got this letter after Ma received that medal for you. I never showed it to her as it would have upset her. She had already showed me the Hobbit book with your Christian name in it, even though Peggy Carter told her to keep it secret." Steve handed her a folder and she looked at it before looking at me. "Just read this."

I opened the folder and saw an opened envelope, and a plain piece of paper with handwriting on it. It was addressed to Rebecca Barnes Proctor, dated in 1991.

 October 10, 1991

Dear Rebecca,

I'm sending you this letter after learning about the Medal of Honor that was awarded to your brother, James Buchanan Barnes. Did he deserve it? Yes, absolutely, but not just for the reasons you think.

You see, Bucky is still alive, still a prisoner of war, being held by an organization known as HYDRA. I was part of a small group of people trying to rescue him. We had to be very careful with our efforts as HYDRA was very suspicious of anyone who had access to your brother. When they first acquired him, after he fell from the train in Austria, his body was so broken, and they treated his injuries while injecting him with a super soldier serum. What was worse was they were already torturing him, trying to break his mind.

You see, Rebecca, they saw what Dr. Abraham Erskine did to Steve Rogers with his super soldier serum and they wanted to do the same thing to a soldier that they could control. What better way to do it than to choose a soldier who they could hurt because he couldn't fight back, neither physically nor mentally. Except, we know that Bucky did just that. He fought them as hard as he could, even when he didn't know who he was, he still knew enough to understand that what they were doing was wrong.

Ultimately, we failed. We were so close to getting Bucky to a place where we could take him back and fix him but they moved him to another place, imprisoning him in a way that he had no idea of time or reality. Our agent finally found him and tried to help but was caught and killed. When we finally heard about it the agent that managed to tell us that much had also been caught and executed, leaving Bucky truly on his own. I wanted to go myself to find him but the risk of being caught was too great and I was forced to stand down, to my shame and disappointment.

I'm sorry, very sorry, that you're only learning this now. Missions like the one I was on are secret for a reason but sometimes the secrecy that is needed to protect the people involved means that when it goes wrong, nothing can be done to rectify it. When the secret about Bucky finally comes out it may dismay you. People may say things about him that just aren't true. Just believe that there are people who know the truth and will do all they can to make sure everyone knows. I know, because I'm one of them.

Always a friend to Bucky until the end of the line.

I looked at Rebecca then to Steve, both of them with a sincere but deliberate expression on their face. I looked at the date again, saw the paper was old, the envelope it came in was postmarked October 12, 1991. Then I looked at the writing again because I had seen that writing before, many times in the 1930s and 1940s.

"How is this possible?" I asked Steve. "You were looking for me in the 1950s? You were frozen."

"I was frozen," he answered. "But apparently, I was also there, in hiding, trying to find you and rescue you."

"But it didn't work," I countered. "I mean obviously, it didn't work because I still did all of those killings for HYDRA. I was still the Winter Soldier."

"Yeah," he said, looking down. "Bucky, I asked Dr. Strange about this. This letter proves I went back, not just for Peggy, but for you. Even though I know I wasn't successful I still have to go."

"Why?" I stood up, holding the paper towards him. "If it didn't work what's the point of going back at all? What's the point of leaving me here, after I've just ...."

Rebecca touched my hand, and I could see the tears in her sad face. Steve let out a tortured breath then stood straight and looked me in the eye.

"Because there is a chance that when I go back this time I'll be successful," he said. "Dr. Strange saw it but he can't tell in which timeline I rescue you. So, apparently, it is my destiny to return to the past to try to find you and to keep trying until I succeed. In that timeline, you return home, you see your parents again, you stand up as a groomsman at Rebecca's wedding, you become godfather to my children, and you get married yourself, able to have the family you always wanted. The best part is that you and Captain America fight together, stopping HYDRA in their tracks, preventing them from doing to that timeline what they did to this one."

I staggered back a little hearing him outline what could happen if he succeeded in finding and rescuing me. It all seemed too fantastic, too much like a science fiction novel. Yet, if there was a chance that he could save me and together we could stop HYDRA then maybe it was something I had to let happen.

"How will I ever know if it worked?" I asked. "Isn't this timeline already set?"

"Yeah, this timeline won't change," he said, frowning slightly, in that way he had. "This timeline will continue on. I'm doing this for the timeline that hasn't happened yet. For the Bucky who hasn't fallen yet, hopefully hasn't had the words implanted, and still knows who he is. It's a sacrifice, Bucky. You have to let me go and stay here on your own, figure out life on your own."

"Does Dr. Strange know how I do in this timeline?" I asked, wanting desperately to have something good to cling to.

Steve shook his head. "He refused to say, something about not interfering in the natural order of things. My going back is part of the natural order of things."

That staggered me more than anything. I had just been reunited with my best friend and he was preparing to leave, for good. Another thought came to me.

"You wrote this in 1991 which means you might still be alive," I said. "The serum can keep you alive longer, can't it? You could still be my friend in this timeline, still be there for me."

"I'll be more than 70 years older," he said. "I'll probably be a very different man than the one standing here. I'm not sure I'll be of any help to you. It's possible I've already died by this date. Buck, there are people here, that belong in this time who will help you. Sam has been a good friend to me and he could be a good friend to you, if you let him. Grant, Jovan, Megan, even James Marsh have all said they're just a phone call away if you need them. Hell, Sergeant Hobbs seems to like you. You just have to give those people a chance."

I knew he was right but a part of me felt abandoned, even betrayed, that the one person who I remembered throughout all of it couldn't stay and be part of my life going on. It was unfair.

"Do the others know about this?" I asked, gesturing to the letter.

He shook his head. "No, just us three and Dr. Strange but he won't talk about it to anyone. You can't tell them, either. Dr. Strange did say there will be one person you tell but he didn't say who it was, or why you told them. I'm guessing it will be someone you trust more than anyone."

I still didn't like it but it was obvious there really was no choice in the matter. We stayed, visiting Rebecca for another couple of hours before saying our goodbyes. She made me promise that I would come to see her as much as I could. On the way back to the base we stopped at a lawyer's office and I met the lawyer who had agreed to handle my case. He said he was representing me pro bono, which in Latin means "for the public good." In my case, it meant he was also representing me for free, since I had no job, or prospects of one. With the evidence of all the recovered HYDRA and army files that Jovan Sakić, Steve, and apparently Tony Stark had found he was confident of a pardon. He also recommended I file a claim for back pay; as a PoW I was entitled to it. Finally, he wanted to file a lawsuit against the estates of several high profile individuals who had been identified as HYDRA leaders; people who had actively suppressed the knowledge of my existence to the world and kept me imprisoned. Some of them were military so there would be additional claims filed against the army for the actions of several generals in keeping my existence a secret.

Over the next week Steve and I hung out together as much as possible, often including Sam in our activities. Steve wanted me to feel comfortable with him and the others, I guess. I tried but it wasn't easy as I often felt judged, mostly by myself. When Stark's memorial service was held, I had a panic attack, feeling I shouldn't be there, as Tony wouldn't have wanted me. Steve had already left, having been asked to be an honorary pallbearer. Sam, tasked with getting me there, knocked on the door and saw me sitting on the bed in my black jeans and shirt, the suit I bought still hung up in the locker.

"Bucky, you're not ready," he stated, ignoring the fact that it was obvious.

"I'm not going," I replied. "Tony wouldn't want me there."

"Tony's not going to be there," he said, again stating the obvious. With a small grimace he sat down beside me and mirrored my posture. "Bucky, you need to go, even if it's just to resolve your own feelings about the man. Let's face it, you didn't get a chance to tell him you were sorry. But he also didn't get a chance to say he forgave you."

I looked at Sam, shaking my head slightly in acknowledgement. Maybe this was why Steve wanted me to accept this man as a friend. Sometimes, in his plain spoken but obvious way Sam said things that needed to be said out loud. He stood up suddenly and picked up my zip up jacket, handing it to me, not saying anything. Putting it on, I followed him, and we joined the others, waiting for the vehicles to take us to Tony's cabin, where the service would be held on the pond beside it. A young woman, Wanda, beautiful but with sad eyes smiled at Sam, then turned her gaze to me. She looked at me without flinching, or judgement, then gently placed her hand on my arm.

"You're not alone, James," she said softly. "I was also HYDRA, but by choice, a choice made when I was an angry child. I blamed Tony for my parent's deaths, saw him as a monster, until I faced the real monster. We all do things that we regret. It's what we do with the regret after that's important."

During the service I almost bolted several times, but Sam was there and so was Wanda, both of them lending me their calm presence to see it through. Later when the device that would allow Steve to return the stones was completed, I joined the other few people who were present. We said goodbye, the same way we did when I went to war, except I knew I wouldn't see my friend like this again. It hurt, but it had to be done because that's who Steve was, the guy who never gave up fighting. He was just taking the fight to a place I couldn't follow. Then he stepped on the platform, looked at me once more and activated the suit he had to wear before disappearing in a flash.

As the others panicked when he didn't return, I looked in the other direction and saw the old man sitting on a bench, facing the lake, with a large carrying case by his side. I called to Sam, and nodded towards the old man, knowing who he was. Sam seemed hesitant to approach the older Steve until I told him to go ahead. This was Sam's moment with destiny, and I was there for him, whatever that would entail. Steve had come up with the plan, and I was going to follow it.

Part 24>>

Series Masterlist

If you liked this one shot please comment or reblog.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers #sam wilson #winter soldier #marvels avengers #after Thanos #til the end of the line

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His favorite color is Navy Blue, which he says, "May be boring but beautiful!".

In an Ask Think video he stated that he doesn't know why, but whenever anyone asks him to choose a number, for some reason, he always chooses 27 without even thinking. He said that if he didn't have noodles as an option or didn't like them, he'd probably be called "Thinkcoffee" instead since he also really likes coffee.

Thinknoodles loves noodles (obviously!).

Pokemon Brick Bronze (Series Ended, Game No Longer Available).

Think's Lab (Series Ended, May/May not return).

Minecraft Pocket Edition (Series Ended).

His channel slowly evolved from a channel for insiders to a channel about himself, therefore decided to change the name to "Thinknoodles". The channel link however still stays as " /user/InsidersNetwork "ĭiscontinued/On Hold/Posted Without A Schedule: It was getting a bit overwhelming so he announced that he was combining all of his Insiders into one YouTube channel.Īt first his videos were Club Penguin Cheats, Webkinz Adoptions and Poptropica Walkthroughs. Think first created his YouTube Chanel and posted his first video in May 8 2012! Think's original channel name was, and technically still is, Insiders Network. Before the Insiders Network, he was running a bunch of insiders all with their own channel. " He's by far the nicest guy you'd ever meet!" ~ StrauberryJam, fellow YouTuber and friend of Justin. He loves his fans, always trying to interact and read comments from them and strives to make great videos for his subscribers to watch.

#THINKNOODLES MINECRAFT SURVIVAL 295 FREE#

Roblox is a free online construction program that lets users create interactive places and games for players to enjoy. However, keep in mind this is only allowed on Roblox if you have written permission from. Thinknoodles is kind, loyal, and overall a nice guy who enjoys making videos for a living and making others happy along with himself. butterfing on twitter roblox minecraft texture pack, The best community made collection of resource packs for minecraft 115 1151 1152 1153.

#Thinknoodles minecraft survival 295

[bdoubleowo]

This is my formal request for everyone to watch Bdubs right now immediately

#there is a REASON he is my username's basis #this is actually lowkey inspired by a buzzfeed unsolved meme i have saved on my phone bc it's so chaotic i love it #i don't even watch buzzfeed unsolved really but that vid is chefs kiss #i heard the audio on tiktok and it took ages to find an actual source #song is hall of the mountain king if you wanted to know #these are all from his season 8 episodes #if you need a specific one i can help out #og post #bdoubleo100 #hermitcraft #hermitcraft propaganda #video #bdubs noises #bdubs fancam

[mrs-cameron]

in my business (part 10)

“Time’s up” | the final part 💜 | Series masterlist

pairings: slowburn rafe cameron x reader

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, posted from my phone so i didn’t get the chance to spell-check it as i’d usually do

summary: After being split up for a little while, you and Rafe reconcile your differences when he finally realises he has to be a better man in order to be with you.

“Please, one more episode!”

Sarah rolled her eyes at her little sister, scooting out of the blanket she’d been cozily wrapped in over the past three hours. The three of you were hanging out in Wheezie’s room with closed curtains, allowing no sunlight into your space.

“Wheezie, we have to go to the beach now, it’ll get too cold in the evening,” she replied. You nodded at your best friend, scrolling through phone in hopes of catching Rafe’s username on your feed. Outer Banks sunsets, pictures from the latest kegger party you didn’t go to, occasional stories from the Wreck; tapping through the endless carousel of photos and boomerangs, nothing could catch your attention quite like your best friend’s brother.

“Hello?” Wheezie waved at you, shaking her head as she twisted her one of her swimsuits in her hand.

“Oh,” you finally had your attention on Wheezie, with Rafe’s image still in the back of your mind. “My swimsuit is in the bathroom. Should I change now?”

“Yeah,” Sarah mumbled with her eyes closed.

“I’ll change fast, keep her awake,” you told Wheezie and left the room, carefully closing the door.

Pacing through the long hallway, you thought you noticed some kind of noice coming from Rafe’s room. Impossible, you thought as you kept walking, quickly locking the door to change in the bathroom.

On your way back, you noticed the door to his room was opened just a tiny bit, enough for you to see what was happening inside. You tiptoed closer, mind wandering places it shouldn’t have. You were quickly put down to earth when you saw a woman folding Rafe’s shirts in one pile.

“Hi, I’m sorry,” you entered, looking around, “..to bother you.”

You paused for a moment, your eyes focused on one big suitcase standing in the middle of the room, two smaller ones open and half-full placed near a woman.

“Is Rafe going somewhere?”

The lady shrugged her shoulders as she kept putting things in one pile, carefully adjusting the corners of each shirt.

“I’ve been told to pack his things,” she replied.

“Huh,” you looked around his room, examining every corner and noticing how empty it really was. “Okay. Have a good day,” you said, glancing one more time before leaving.

Four days. Four long days since you’ve talked to Rafe, if that’s how you’d call it. Despite being torn by your parents and the Menzies on a daily basis, he kept living in your head rent free, the thought bubble over your head with his image didn’t ever bother to pop.

You heard things: he was around at the kook parties, and you successfully ignored Kelce’s weird texts asking you to come. Hanging around Topper most of the time, Rafe’s radar shifted towards Figure 8 once again.

Why be silent? Why can’t you talk?

You sat quietly at one of the tables at the Country Club, sipping on your milkshake while staring blankly at the end of the table. You found yourself at the second floor of one of their facilities, balcony area with golf field view turned into cafeteria. Parents insisted you went there once in a while, commenting on the relevancy the membership had.

It payed off, except it wasn’t access to most of the entertainment one could get in Kildare; creating social connections with other rich families was the main reason your parents joined when you were little, meeting the Camerons there.

“Hey, you,” you felt someone’s hand on your back.

You turned to see Carter sitting next to you, him being the one to get you out of your house for the first time in days.

“Sorry for taking so long,” he smirked at Sarah coming back from the restroom and taking another seat at your table, helping herself to snacks right away. “I’d honestly play some more,” he said. “If you don’t mind.”

“And I told him to stop messing with me,” you heard Rafe’s voice from behind.

Not turning you head around, you tilted it enough to see the blurry figure of a tall boy with you peripheral vision. “I don’t mind, Menz,” you replied with straight face without looking at him, focusing your attention solely on what was happening behind you.

“That’s so awesome, Rafe,” you heard Scarlet’s voice. “Free table,” she motioned towards the table right next to yours.

Rafe would lie if he said seeing you with Carter didn’t touch off his fighting spirit. He hesitated to move, standing right behind your back.

Scarlet rolled her eyes, sitting opposite you. “Rafe,” she called. “Oh God!” She realised who were sitting next to her. “Hi, Y/n! Sarah, I missed you!”

You weren’t weak. Bottling your emotions for quite some time now and having mixed feelings about the presence of entire Menzies family in your life didn’t seem as hard as raising your eyes to see Rafe.

Yet you did just that. Yes, you weren’t weak, yet your stomach dropped when you noticed he was already staring. He looked down and froze in unexpected silence, and you kept gazing as if daring him to look again.

“Scarlet, right? You’re Y/n friend,” Carter broke down the awkward moment, putting his hand on your shoulders.

Rafe tightened his lips, looking away to the golf field. Carter was lolling back on the rear legs of his chair, sipping on your drink you allowed him to finish.

“She is,” you half-smiled.

“I thought you didn’t like the Country Club,” Sarah mentioned, turning her chair around a bit so she could see Scarlet.

“Yeah, Rafe sort of insisted we went—”

“Why not,” he suddenly talked over her, “sitting together then? Table big enough to fit everyone,” he looked to the side. “Plus Topper. Top!”

His yelling brought everyone’s attention to your spot; Scarlet raised her eyebrows, annoyed at having to move her chair to your table. You and Sarah exchanged looks, one could say, a real silent, mind-reading conversation happened between you in actuality.

The six of you ended up at the round table, each of you avoiding eye contact with a specific person.

“Place just for you,” Rafe motioned to the chair to the left of him, place on the right occupied by Carter. “Been a while since I last saw you,” he shook Carter’s hand.

“Catch me on campus,” Carter picked at him.

“I’m outside this box,” Rafe cut his short. “Tell me how you’re doing though, Y/n?”

You smiled with your lips tight, shaking your head at the absolute absurd this company was. “That’s nice you finally have the chance to catch up with me, huh?”

Rafe nodded, silently watching Carter’s fingers tapping lightly on your shoulder. Carter should’ve known it would piss him off, watching your latest argument through the window of your living room yet saying no word to you about it.

“And I have a chance to catch up with Sarah,” Topper spoke. “You’re a rare bird.”

“Oh God,” Scarlet said. “You broke up! Now I almost get the tension,” she glanced at you and Rafe.

Why wouldn’t you read the room, Scarlet.

“Topper, don’t even,” you said.

“I’m the bad guy, again? I’m just wondering how you’re doing, Sarah,” he rubbed his forehead.

“Yeah, like it’s illegal or something,” Rafe groaned.

“For the past four days, was it illegal?” You talked back, slapping your palm on the table.

“What are trying to start, Topper?” Sarah asked, hiding her hands in her sleeves.

An awkward moment of stillness began, no one bothered to look at each other but you and Sarah. You bowed her head at her as in, we’ll get through it.

“A conversation, little chat. Is it so hard to believe?”

Scarlet and Carter were out of the loop, the latter moving his cocktail around the table.

“Tell about yourself, then,” you exclaimed at Topper. “If you’re so eager to start the conversation.”

“Well,” he began. “Mom got me into some additional biology classes, plus a tutor. Kelce fucked up her vase in the living room, we’re mourning the loss. It’s not my time to shine, really,” he looked over at Rafe. “I’m not going to New York.”

“I am,” Rafe continued. “I’m going. Figured, why the fuck bother sitting my ass somewhere around here,” he watched Carter’s reaction, afraid to look at you.

Your face contorted as you sat straight, setting yourself free from Carter’s hand. “New York?”

“Ugh,” he paused. “Yes.”

“When did you find out you’re going?”

“The party three days ago,” Topper clicked his fingers. “That was sort of a goodbye to him.”

You tilted your head to the side, “Wow.”

Sipping out of the only half-full glass you found on the table, you felt like throwing the drink right in Rafe’s face, not sharing this type of news with the person he called his lifeline angered the shit out you.

“Interesting,” Sarah said. “Dad didn’t tell me. Again.”

“I’ll miss you, Rafe,” Scarlet added. “Life of the party, if you’re not aware, he’s the only decent dude to mack on.”

“Fuck if I know,” you said, nodding.

“Sorry, Top. You were taken most of the time,” she continued.

“So, are you coming home, Rafe?” Sarah asked, ignoring Topper’s presence.

“For a bit, before going away. You’ll have the time to get annoyed.”

Bearing your grudge was getting even harder. ”I’ll go use the restroom.”

You quickly got up, walking out of the table with the only wish to go as far as you possibly could from the crowd… more specifically, Rafe.

He watched you leaving without listening to the already dead conversation.

Except you made the wrong turn; not to the bathroom, to the staircase instead. Rafe noticed, licking his lips right before mindlessly getting up, creating an awful sound of the chair scratching the floor. Sarah crinkled her nose, watching her brother following you and feeling uneasy about the people she was left with.

“I’ll pay for the meal,” she said to Carter. “I realised I really have to go.”

You stopped mid the stairs, trying to calm down. Not necessarily crying, simply overwhelmed by the way Rafe played you. The sun hit your face through the window suddenly, causing you to turn around.

Turning your head up, you caught Rafe’s eyes as he stood one flight of stair away, holding onto a handrail. He let out a harsh breath when he saw you again, his face turned red right away.

“It was stupid of me to even consider you’d go a stupid lunch,” your voice echoed before he could even open his mouth. “But fuck you for ghosting me.”

“Stop it, I want to talk to you,” he said.

“And fuck you for telling me I’m important to you then not bothering to share you’re going away!”

He went a couple of stairs down, keeping his face straight. “Stop.”

“No. I have no idea what the fuck this summer was, Rafe,” you fumed. “I thought you trusted me.”

“I do.”

“And fuck you for hanging with other chicks instead of telling me important shit!”

“She latched onto me last minute, I was on my own,” he almost whispered, being just a couple of stairs away from you. “Let’s calm down.”

“Fuck you, Rafe,” you mumbled.

He took your hand into his, putting in on your chest as he rolled his eyes before fixating them on yours. Fingers of his right hand intertwined with yours, he put his left around your waist, pulling you closely.

“I don’t want to fight.”

Rafe softly brushed his lips against yours, as if asking you permission. Before he could pull back to see your reaction, you grabbed him by the neck dragging him for a passioned kiss; one of those kisses when you would be afraid to open your eyes again as if afraid to scare him off; although both him and you knew nothing could tear you apart.

First, he put you one stair higher so you’d stand a bit taller, continuing giving you soft kissed. When your lips parted, you spoke.

“I needed time to cool down. I’m done cooling down. I hope you’re done too.”

“I can’t do it like this anymore. What is this between us?”

Rafe smiled at you. “I mean,” he started, “isn’t it obvious?”

“No. Talk.”

He signed loundly, his breath brushed your face. “Didn’t I make it so fucking obvious? I can’t stop thinking of you, Y/n. My blood boils seeing you with anyone else. I want you all to myself,” he grabbed you, sitting you on the handrail, holding onto you for your balance.

You bit your lower lip, wrapping your legs around him. “I’m listening.”

“Oh, so it wasn’t enough,” he smirked, grabbing your lower back. “Aren’t you mine already?”

You giggled, tightening your legs around him. “Damn, what do I tell to all my other boyfriends?”

“Tell ‘em they can fuck off,” he whispered. “Tell them one is enough for you now. They weren’t so fulfilling, right? You like me?”

“No shit,” you grabbed his face. “You’re so stupid.”

“Hmh. Do you forgive me?”

“What’s the fun in that?” You teased.

He leaned back to you and you felt his hot skin on your face, both of you suddenly looked up when your heard steps coming from the upstairs. “That’s some cozy place we’ve picked.”

You didn’t move, waiting for the noise and voices to stop. Should’ve also pulled away from each other, but neither of you felt like it.

“I think they’re gone,” he hugged you tightly as you laughed, burying your face in his neck.

“Fuck,” you calmed down, losing balance for a second before Rafe held you closer. “God, can you please not drop me, or something?”

“I think we should leave,” he answered. “You’re not telling your fan Carter where you’re going, of course. You’re not telling him anything. We have some time left. I’ll tell you everything,” oh no.

No, you thought you forgot about the leaving part for a moment, head spinning and butterflies fluttering in your stomach while you had a grasp of Rafe.

“Right, Mr. New York,” you replied as he carefully brought you back to the ground.

He took your hands. “Dad’s only requirement for me to come back home.”

“Should’ve guessed,” you exhaled. “Either way, I’ll be away soon, too. But while I’m here, consider me all yours,” you stroked his hair.

“I wish I heard that sooner.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

Everything and anything.

They say summer is never really ending in Outer Banks, but the weather was clearly proving everyone wrong as leaves started to drop onto the dry yellowish grass. You enjoyed every minute of your time with Rafe, promising yourself to spend as much time out as possible.

The only sign of you at home was the smell of your perfume in the morning, that is if you even came back for the night. Moving out would be the last thing on your mind; you and Rafe agreed you wouldn’t talk about until the last day, even though you felt like it would never come.

Surprisingly enough, it did come. Time flew when you had so much to say to guy you never thought you’d land: Rafe Cameron, your best friend in the third grade turned into annoying brother of your best friend you’d argue for fun with.

Just like that, the chapter ended. Both about to change your whole lives, you enjoyed the last moments of your shared one. On the very top of the Druthers, you checked the time on your phone you had put on airplane mode.

4:52 am

You watched Rafe sleeping on the air mattress while laying beside him, drawing patterns and circles on his bare skin with your fingers. The see was as calm as ever, the sound of soft waves would put you back to sleep if the time wasn’t so limited.

“I’m not sleeping,” Rafe’s voice cracked. “Is it sunrise already?”

“It is,” you replied, covering yourself with the towel. “I can’t believe that’s it.”

“What’s it?” Rafe asked.

“Well,” you sighed as he cuddled you from behind. “The summer. I love OBX in fall more than anything, and this time I’m not witnessing it.”

“Outer Banks is no fun when you’re not there. Hey, I got you something,” he got up, walking inside the Druthers. “Hold on.”

You waited for a couple of minutes, watching the pink skies as sun bloomed in the horizon. You took Rafe’s thermos, sipping on hot tea.

“Your old shirt?” You frowned.

“No, silly,” Rafe gave it to you. “Wear it.”

You obeyed, still putting the towel over it as it was quite chilly. He sat right in front of you, hugging your folded legs. Instantly, you felt more comfortable by him warming you.

“Okay,” he put his fist in front of you.

You bumped it with yours. “Stop playing, I don’t get you.”

“Look,” he opened his hand. “I told you I’d get the copy.”

He presented you the copy of the key of your uncle’s apartment. “See? Told you I’d get one. Now you take it with you, put it in your key chain next to your stupid key to college apartment. Think of me every time you hold them. I got one too.”

You looked blankly for a second right before bursting into laughter. “You fuckin’ simp,” you exclaimed.

“Come on,” he smiled, laying his face on your knees. “I want you to know that I’m serious,” he paused, “about you. I fucked this summer up, and I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be, Rafe,” you stopped him.

“Look, a burden is all I was for you —“

“No, Rafe—“

“And it stops from now on. You can count on me too. Always and with everything. I’m not the best in sharing what I feel,” he confessed. “But it’s changing. You’re so important to me. And I don’t fucking care if I was invasive when it came to you with that pogue, or stupid Carter. I want you to be with me.”

You stroked his fair, touching his forehead with yours. “Always so nosy,” you smiled and he reciprocated. “I’ll be with you, Rafe.”

“Boyfriend and girlfriend type of deal,” he clarified.

“Where do I sign?”

He slowly straightened his posture, grabbing your waist, and pressed his lips to your forehead. You put your head up, making his lip finally meet yours as he pushed you closer by the fabric of his shirt.

“Let’s never leave,” you suggested, laying down again and getting Rafe to lay with you. “The boat is okay to live in. I mean, the Druthers is alright. Overrated as fuck in my opinion,” you quoted the meme.

“I agree,” he replied and you put your leg on him, watching the skies get brighter by the minute. “Except, my father will simply kill me if he’d hear that idea.”

“Don’t worry, I will, um,” you thought this through. “I’ll Ward you off.”

“Okay,” he laughed, cuddling you. “Thank you for doing just that.”

Next thing you knew, you were a passenger on the private helicopter of the Menzies, pretending to be asleep so they wouldn’t bother you with questions. It only clicked the summer was over when you took off; the thought of being away from Rafe didn’t hit you yet, although it felt like a part of you already whined at his absence.

Rafe didn’t tell you this, but he watched you take off from the far; this particular landing strip being the one the Cameron often used for their flights too.

Did he blame himself for not pursuing you sooner? He did.

Did he wish you’d be more sure of him?

All he could think of was the stability he thought you weren’t so sure he could provide you, like Carter Menzies could, for example. Or JJ Maybank. He was the type of person whose devotion to people was unmatched, and Rafe would never admit to thinking that.

He would do better. Next time you’re in his arms, he would show it to you. Rafe knew he needed to let you know what he could be as a boyfriend.

Y/n’s boyfriend. Sounds fucking amazing if you ask him.

Rafe Cameron had to prove himself to you.

As your helicopter was lost to sight, he stared into the horizon for a good half an hour, lingering as to what was to come. His mind wandered the possible scenarios of your reunion, and little did he know, so did yours.

———————————

a/n: i’m sorry for taking so long to post the final part, but here it is!

i had no intention of posting it at first at all… up to part 4, i wrote out of boredom until i decided to finally share and i’m so happy i did ❤️

thank you! for all the support, messages, coming to my inbox, you are truly EVERYTHING!

please share your thoughts on the series with me!

also stay tuned for oneshots (or potentially another, smaller series, we’ll see how it goes🥰)

tag list: @mentalpolaroids @pogueslandia @iixbella @taylathornton @theepoguelandia @hopebaker @littlementalpolaroids @ilovejjmaybank @mildkleptomaniac @stilynskii @obxlife101 @thatshithurted8 @classygirlything21 @afuturemilf @bibliophilewednesday @tinawhynot @rafeseggplant @dalmanara01 @blondiekook @lemur46 @spiderlaufeyson @john-benderr @poulterfilms @glors3 @exenestea @darlingisntit @loveylangdon @28cnn @riot-race @starkey-babie @hockeybabe87 @jemimah-b99 @blissfullysin @maddyasleson @painlesslies @lazyunknownwerewolf @questionmymentality @poguesbau @barrysjumpsuit @millavalntyne @jessiq31 @bitchespinosa97 @asmalltowngirl @wtfkie @hayleyy-l @vinniehcker @rivercourt-always @proactivetypeofperson @thecatwhodreams @rafeswh0ree @yayooooooooo (please cyberbully me if i forgot to tag you i’m so lost at this point i’m sorry)

honorary tag goes to @in-my-body-bag because i forgot to tag this baby last time SHAME ON ME

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron fanfiction #fanon rafe cameron #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron x reader #obx fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction

[lacheri]

follow me

I do not consent or allow this to be posted on Tik Tok, or any other social media

pairing: switch!Eren and switch!fem bodied reader

content: college au, OnlyFans/sex work, masturbation (m), praise kink, oral (f and m receiving), squirting, penetrative sex, drug and alcohol use, classic college party, Eren is down horrendously bad, I believe in long haired Eren supremacy, minors DNI

summary: when jean finally convinces eren to crawl out from under his rock to join society on instagram, he finds there’s a whole lot more than just pictures of food. there’s you.

wc: 15.4k (I know it’s a long one, hope you enjoy tho)

Eren Jaeger had recently found himself in a very, very deep hole. It all started innocently, when one of his best friends Jean had convinced Eren to crawl out of his hole and create an Instagram to join society.

“C’mon Eren,” Jean had teased over a week ago as they studied out on the lawn of their school. “You have no idea what you’re missing out on. No one even uses Facebook anymore, it’s all for moms who want to brag about little Timmy’s genius for figuring out one plus one equals two.”

“What do you even do on Instagram?” Eren’s brows knitted together in confusion, Jean whipping his phone out to show Eren exactly how to use it.

“You post pictures,” Jean navigated to his profile, tapping and sliding down to show Eren all of Jean’s shameless selfies.

“Of just yourself?” he breathed, not comprehending the appeal at all. Don’t people look at his face enough?

“Well, you can post anything you want, that’s the beauty of it. Plus, when you’re not doing that, you get to see and like other people’s pictures.”

“But it says here you follow, 1,536 accounts? And you have 5,000 following you back?” Eren asked incredulously, surprised about how popular his friend’s online persona was. “How do you even know that many people?”

“You don’t,” Jean shrugged, making a few taps to his home page as posts began to load up. “Celebrities have Instagram, our friends have Instagram, fuck, every attractive person on the entire planet has one.”

“How do you even find these people?” Eren’s questioning never seemed to end, the concept out of his comprehension. Facebook was one thing, he personally knew every single one of his friends and family there, and honestly he really enjoyed people just talking about their day to day ordeals.

That’s when Jean forced Eren to hand his phone over and download the app. Jean snapped a quick picture of Eren, to which Eren had no reaction time to. Before he could protest, Jean had already uploaded the candid with some random song lyrics as the caption. To be honest with himself, Eren had to admit that Jean had taken a very flattering picture. He had his knee brought to his chest while his arm dangled over, back slumped and relaxed while he sat on the blanket they had set down before lounging there, hair in his signature sloppy man bun. It was mid day, so all the shadows casted behind his body as the sun’s rays illuminated every high point and contrast of his stoic face.

After a few follow backs from his friends, Armin and Mikasa, he had accumulated a few dozen likes, and Eren couldn’t help the feelings of instant gratifications wash over him, “Okay? So, now what?”

“Now,” Jean began to instruct him, putting the phone back in Eren’s hands after showing him the basics of social media. “Go to my page, and start following whoever you want from my following list. There’s some really hot girls.”

And when Eren laid in his dorm bed that night by himself, he did just that. He really didn’t want to give Jean the satisfaction of showing him who he followed, or why he decided to. His finger scrolled and scrolled through the following list on Jean’s Instagram, hitting the follow button on a few bands he really enjoyed. But then, his hand stopped at one username in particular. The avatar showed a pretty girl, smiling brightly into the camera, sun’s golden rays blooming behind her hair.

Eren tapped on the username, and the first thing he took note of was the bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas and rock and roll’, he had to smirk at that, what a simple sentence to sum yourself up with. His eyes flickered to the link in her bio, titled, OnlyFans. He titled his head, Jean hadn’t mentioned what OnlyFans was? Did everyone have an OnlyFans too, like Instagram? He tapped on the highlighted link to be met with a page of prices. What the fuck was so exclusive about it that he had to pay ten dollars for a single picture? As he scrolled down a bit more, he noticed the pricing rising to the final payment cost.

“200 dollars for a personal Snapchat and to talk to me every day?” he read aloud, mouth open in disgust. “What the fuck is this?”

He hit the done option in the upper left corner, returning to the Instagram page in question. He tapped on the first photo, the girl’s back facing the camera, completely bare as her hair trickled down the center. She was sitting in a pretty pink bath, floating flowers all around, staring out a window, captioned, ‘wishing you were here’. His gaze lingered on the dips of her waist, before scrolling down to see the girl in some more clothing. This one was a much prettier picture, glasses set on the brim of her nose while she sat comfortably at a wooden table in a library. She stared directly into the camera, a pretty smile on her face while her hands sat perched under her chin. Some books were open on the table, and Eren took note of the quilted skirt peeking out from the under the bottom, her knees tightly crossed. ‘finals week is going to be the death of me, thank the universe for coffee’.

Eren back tracked out of the photo after double tapping, trying to drink in a comprehensive idea of what exactly people were paying so much money to see. He scrolled, and landed on his answer. The girl sat on a stool, phone angled in the mirror to take in her frame, wearing nothing but black lingerie and heels with a smirk on her face, the caption simply, ‘follow me on OnlyFans, link in bio’.

‘Hey Jean, what’s OnlyFans?’ Eren typed a quick text to his now mentor, patiently waiting as three bubbles appeared from his friend’s end.

‘Lol I see what you’re using Instagram for now, Jaeger’, was Jean’s only reply, and Eren could feel himself getting frustrated. Before he could type back an angry text, those bubbles popped up once again. ‘It’s basically porn, you pay for people’s pictures and videos’.

‘Why would someone want to do that? It’s free almost everywhere else’.

‘Because, young grasshopper, girls are hot and I’m trynna see some titties’.

Eren rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. Deducing that Jean was obviously one of these paying customers, Eren felt a little more secure in himself as he tapped the follow button on the girl’s page. What he wasn’t expecting though was a notification informing him she had followed back, followed quickly by another one liking his only post. Eren couldn’t hold back a blush, heart thumping in his chest. Did this girl think he was good looking?

The thought didn’t sit for long as yet another notification popped up, this time a comment. The girl had simply put a heart eyed emoji, followed by a fire emoji. Eren retreated in haste back to her profile, analyzing every picture and caption.

That had been a month ago, and now Eren had a full blown addiction to the website, more specifically her Instagram. Eren was even paying for her OnlyFans now, making excuses that the money he spent would be used for coffees and lunches anyhow, and he really had to nip his caffeine addiction in the butt so he might as well spend his cash on her.

She had just posted a photoset, one of many on her page, completely naked aside from a gold necklace adorned on her neck, a simple initial of ‘E’ rested prettily on her collarbone. It was like she knew Eren was devouring her social medias on a daily basis. It was all for him, Eren had concluded. There was no coincidence that she had followed and liked his own page, it was all fate and meant to be. Eren had figured out how to DM someone, thanks to Jean showing him how to during one of their classes, and he had taken full advantage of the girl’s inbox. Unfortunately with no reply or read receipt to even prove she had received his messages, introducing himself and showering the girl with compliments. Oh, Eren was down bad. He even brought himself to pay out the $50 tier on her OnlyFans for the month, tired of entering his card information for every daily post.

His dick twitched hard as he drank in her form, curvaceous and beautiful and feminine. It wasn’t even like he just wanted to fuck her either, if he needed relief like that he’d just hit up one of the handful of girls he had saved in his contacts. Eren Jaeger wanted to take this girl out on a fucking date. They had so much in common, they were practically soulmates. She liked and followed all the same bands Eren did, posted on her stories all about her favorite foods and her zodiac sign. While he didn’t really believe in that shit, his Google search history of checking if Aries was compatible spoke to something completely different.

And then Eren began noticing something. How the library she frequently posted pictures in was the same library on campus. All the restaurants she went to were in an hour radius of him, half of them being his usual hangout spots. She lived locally, which thoroughly surprised him. Had he seen her around before? No, definitely not, he would’ve definitely remembered her pretty face. None of the girls that he knew looked like her, and if Eren didn’t know what a woman’s body felt like, he would’ve sworn her body was made of plastic.

Eren was practically an expert at Instagram now, and had plenty of opportunities to follow other beautiful women, but he chose not to. He felt guilty one night as he maneuvered through another pretty girl’s pictures, quickly retreating back to the comfort of his favorite girl’s instead. This was one of the reasons Eren had fought getting online for so long, whenever he found something he liked, he got obsessive.

His attention was drawn back to her naked photos, and he slipped his hand under the fabric of his sweatpants as he began to fuck his fist to her pretty image. All for him, he panted as he imagined what she would look like in front of him, beautiful and begging for his touch.

“Thank you so much,” you smiled graciously at the Starbucks employee in front of you, taking your large iced coffee from his hands.

“No problem, have a great day!”

You tossed your hair behind your shoulder as you turned around, the smile still vibrant on your face. Today was a good day, you decided almost as soon as you woke up. After studying for finals for nearly two weeks straight, you finally had a day off to enjoy yourself. Your best friend, Sasha, had convinced you to go on a small shopping day with her. You eagerly agreed that morning, toothbrush forgotten in between your teeth as your fingers rapidly tapped away to schedule a time. You were running out of sexy outfits for your OnlyFans content, and frankly, you really need some new summer clothes. Spring was drawing to a close, and you couldn’t just wear hoodies and leggings all year round, no matter how much you wanted to.

The mall was about two blocks away from the Starbucks, and as you chugged down your coffee, you slid your phone out of your back pocket of your jeans to see multiple notifications from Instagram. Just more people liking your posts, and some DMs, but you just rolled your eyes. You got tired of explaining on your stories that they were broken, and Instagram had no intent on trying to adjust it so you’d be able to view your messages and reply. You sighed, slipping it back into your pocket as you made your way through the entrance of the shopping mall.

Sasha was seated at a table in the cafeteria near the entrance you had just walked through. She jumped out of her seat, a wide smile on her lips as she strutted up to your form.

“You ate without me?” you pouted, smelling the leftover scent of pizza wash over you.

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m still hungry,” Sasha waved her hand. This girl had the fastest metabolism of a person you had ever met, so her statement didn’t really phase you.

“Okay, so, before I spend all my money and forget, we have to go to the lingerie shop,” you stated, stomping your way to the escalators.

“I’m guessing your OnlyFans is doing good?” she asked, knowing just how expensive this certain store was as she lingered behind you.

“Dude, you literally wouldn’t believe it,” you sighed dreamily. “If I had known how much money I’d be making, I would’ve done it way sooner. You should seriously consider making your own.”

“Nah, I’ll just let you have the spotlight on this one,” she snickered as the both of you stepped on the moving staircase. “Are they all creepy old men?”

“No, surprisingly, there’s a few people I have classes with that follow me,” you gossiped. “You know Jean from economics?”

Sasha nodded, eyes widening, “No fucking way, he’s my friend! I’m not that surprised though, he’s always talking to girls and asking for their Instagrams.”

“He’s never even talked to me, right? But he buys every single post I put out! Which is crazy, considering it’d just be cheaper for him to buy the subscription,” you shrugged, stepping off the escalator and walking shortly afterwards into the lingerie store. “That’s what most my viewers do, anyways.”

“Seen anyone else interesting?” Sasha hummed, eyeing the various garments surrounding her in intrigue.

Your eyes honed in on a strappy bright red one piece, “Just a few of his friends, I think. One of them is pretty cute, actually, but he’s only got one picture up.”

“You talking about Eren?”

You nodded, eyes lighting up, “Yeah, do you know him? I’ve never seen him around campus before.”

Sasha was beginning to plot, “Yeah he usually hangs out with Armin and Mikasa, but he goes to a lot of house parties. You know, actually, I think Jean is throwing one soon. He rented a cabin for after finals, you should come!”

“Won’t that be weird?” you scrunched your face, picking up the red one piece and moving onto the next garment that caught your eye. “Like I said, I’ve never even talked to him.”

“Yeah but you know Mikasa and me,” she raised her thumb towards herself. “Eren will be there too.”

“All I said was that I thought he was cute, Sasha,” you laughed her off. “But I’ll think about it. Text me the details and I’ll let you know if I’m free.”

“Something tells me Jean would be very happy to see you there,” Sasha chuckled, you giggling in response to her suggestive comment. The two of you picked through the selection of skimpy clothing, taking it up the cashier to check out.

You walked out of the store together, giggling over small banter. Your trip to the mall was quick after that, and in the end you held a grip full of medium sized paper bags, walking outside the mall with Sasha.

“Oh, hey!” Sasha suddenly quipped, placing her bags on the sidewalk, pulling her phone out of her crossbody bag. “We should take a picture!”

“Sasha I’m not even wearing lipstick,” you half heartedly complained, getting ready to pose next to your best friend.

“Literally, you’re so fucking hot,” she deadpanned, turning her head to look you directly in the eyes. “Shut up and get in, bitch.”

You threw your head back in laughter, leaning in on the left side of her frame, pushing your hair framing your face behind your ear. You smiled widely while Sasha did the same, hearing a soft click of her phone, indicating the photo was taken. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, bringing it out to see a notification stating she had posted it to her story. You’d repost it to your story later after you grabbed food, you decided, the conversation turning to the topic of where the two of you would eat before heading back to your apartment to get drunk in celebration of your semesters ending.

Eren and his two friends sat crowded in Jean’s dorm room bathroom, passing around a blunt. He could hear Connie coughing harshly as it was passed to Eren, the boy taking a deep drag of the backwoods cigarillo. Exhaling slowly, Eren brought his phone out of his hoodie pocket to open it up to change the song playing, his phone instantly opening to Instagram.

Distracted now by his favorite obsession, he glanced at the stories section, her name front in the line, glowing in that now familiar pink and purple circle. Eren couldn’t have tapped faster, and when he did, his mouth hung open.

“Yo,” Eren spoke loudly, shoving his phone in Jean and Connie’s faces. “Sasha knows this girl?”

“Yeah, they’re like best friends,” Connie quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t know her?”

“No, I just saw we had mutual friends,” Eren’s eyebrows knitted together. “How come we’ve never hung out with her before?”

“I don’t know actually,” Jean said, exhaling the blunt after it was passed to him from Eren’s fingertips. “I had a class with her this semester, she seems nice.”

“You’re only saying that because she’s hot,” Connie chuckled. “I bet you’ve never even talked to the girl.”

Jean’s face ignited in a fierce blush as he found interest in the ceiling tiles, “Shut up. It’s harder to talk to girls than it looks. You should know that, Connie.”

“Hey! I talk to girls!” Connie leaned up from his seated position on the floor.

“Idiots,” Eren sighed, rolling his eyes. “Neither of you have any game.”

“Not all of us are as gifted as you are, Eren,” Connie protested, a smirk spreading across his lips. “You could talk to a fucking mouse and it’d figure out someway to talk back.”

Eren rolled his eyes again, harder this time, “You just talk to girls like they’re human beings, it’s not that fucking hard.”

“Oh yeah? Betcha’ won’t be saying that whenever you see that girl around,” Jean teased, finally passing the blunt to Connie in the rotation, Connie muttering something about hogging it.

Eren shifted uncomfortably on the closed toilet seat, “Whatever, Jean.”

“Speak of the fucking devil!” Jean shouted, scaring the very high pair of boys at the suddenness. “Sasha just texted me asking if she can bring her this weekend to the cabin!”

Eren’s heart erupted into a flutter of uneven beats, his face heating up. This girl he had been drooling over was going to be at a party, with him? He suddenly felt like a teenager, the idea of seeing his precious addiction face to face giving him full blown anxiety.

Soft thuds of the bass of the stereo filled the room, catchy pop music drawing Eren out of his stupor to gaze hastily around the room, searching.

“What’s up with you tonight?” Armin had asked him, drawing his attention away once again. “It’s been an hour since the party started and you’ve barely drunk anything.”

Taking note of the full red solo cup in his hand, flickering his gaze between the liquid and his best friend, Eren shrugged and tipped the rim back in his lips, opening his throat and taking large gulps until the cup was empty. “Happy?”

Armin laughed loudly, although only having two strong drinks, his best friend was beginning to feel the numbness of intoxication, “You’re really out of it tonight, everything alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just waiting for the smoke sesh so I’m not cross faded,” Eren smirked, lying easily. “Last time I got too drunk and decided to rip Jean’s bong, I woke up in some random front yard with one shoe on.”

Armin shook his head in disbelief, “You really need to start making better life choices, Eren.”

Eren shook the empty solo cup in front of his friend, “I’m trying here.”

Truthfully, the reason Eren wasn’t halfway to getting shit faced was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the girl of his dreams. She still hadn’t shown up yet, and Eren was getting anxious that she wasn’t going to show. Sasha and Mikasa hadn’t shown up yet either, which gave him a resemblance of hope that the three of you were together, and on your way currently to the party. His heart thudded heavily in his ribcage as he heard the jingle of the front door turn, and his attention was fully concentrated on the door frame ahead of him. His jaw dropped at the sight, his breath caught in his throat.

You asked Sasha earlier that day what you should wear to the party, and Sasha had just waved and told you whatever you felt looked the best. Not exactly helpful, you had just decided on black ripped jeans and a low cut shirt, paired with your favorite leather jacket and trusty Vans. You felt incredibly undressed as Sasha drove to Mikasa’s house, watching her modelesque frame saunter out her front door towards the back car doors.

“Mikasa, you could make a paper bag look hot,” you showered her with appreciation, her face blushing in response as she tugged her long sleeved body con dress towards her knees. “Fuck, should I have worn a dress? How nice is everyone else dressed?”

Sasha couldn’t have given two fucks about how she dressed in front of her friends, adorned in blue skinny jeans and a causal crop top, although her face was beat to the Gods, “Shut the fuck up, you’re one to talk about making paper bags look good. Besides, knowing the boys they probably made minimal effort, probably all wearing sweatpants.”

The three of you snickered at this, and Sasha pushed the car into drive and set out on your 45 minute journey into the mountains. Nerves hadn’t set in until you were face to face with the cabin door, nervous that the girls’ friends weren’t going to like you. Putting a brave face on, Mikasa grasped the door knob and pushed it open, the three of you gliding in.

Eren honestly had wanted to drop down to his knees and kiss the ground you walked on. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Your eyes were searching, for what neither of you knew, until your eyes had finally landed on him. You smiled politely, moving your hand up in a quick wave to both him and Armin.

Eren couldn’t fathom moving any single part of his body, so awestruck by you. Jean shook Eren out of his dumbstricken state with a hard pat to his shoulder, “Why don’t you go introduce yourself, Eren?”

“Fuck off, horse face,” Eren spat, trying to will himself to either make strides towards you or to break his gaze, neither working. “Why don’t you?”

“I’d love to,” he smiled wickedly, inspired by liquid courage to lock arms with Eren and force him closer to the trio of girls that had finally made their appearance. Armin followed behind, Connie emerging out of the bathroom to give his hello’s to his best friend Sasha and company.

Eren could hear his heart beat in his ears as he stopped right in front of you, forcing his mouth closed in a tight lipped grimace. He felt like a fucking teenager with a crush.

“Hi,” you introduced yourself, smiling widely. “It’s so nice to finally meet you guys!”

“Nice to meet you too!” Armin spoke up, oblivious to his friends’ reaction to the fresh pretty face of yours.

Jean and Connie wouldn’t admit it, but they were feeling their own nervousness. Jean’s out of guilt as he scanned your body top to bottom, Connie’s natural shyness kicking in due to the newcomer. Both were able to overcome it though, and offer up their own introductions. Your eyes landed on Eren once again, tilting your head, waiting for his intro.

“I’m Eren,” he swallowed. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you looked down, smiling softly. You raised your hand then, looking up at the boys in front of you, revealing a handle of vodka. “I brought a gift with me too!”

“My kinda girl!” Jean spoke just a bit too enthusiastically. “Shots, shots, shots!”

Connie pumped his fist, chiming in, the rest of the party joining as well as the crowd made their way into the kitchen. Eren purposely hung back, trying to keep as close to you as possible.

“You happen to bring any chasers with you?” he had leaned in, tickling the side of your head with his breath.

“No, I totally forgot,” you sheepishly admitted.

“Looks like we’re all gonna get plastered then,” he chuckled smoothly, sending goosebumps down your body.

“Is it really a party then if at least one person doesn’t have their head in a toilet?” you had easily quipped back, feeling more comfortable now that the introductions were out of the way.

Eren hummed in half hearted agreement, feeling slightly more relaxed himself. Besides, his attention was being grasped by the plastic shot glass being shoved in his hand, as well as your dainty one. The group held up the shot glasses, a few phone cameras capturing the moment to post on their stories, and you all swung your heads back to allow the bitter liquid to trickle down your throats. Eren made a mild face, taking a stolen glance at your own to see your grimace, sticking your tongue out in disbelief at the taste.

Another hour had passed by, and Eren was running out of reasons to follow you around the cabin as you shifted between conversations to get to know the group of friends better. You hadn’t really noticed him trailing behind you, nor did you really care because you were very quickly warming up to Eren. It also didn’t hurt that he looked exceptionally better in person. His hair was lazily swung into a half top bun, wearing a couple of gold chains with his white tee tightly hugging his torso, tucked seamlessly into black ripped jeans displaying his muscular knee caps. Eren was definitely a looker, you shifted your gaze up to his face as he made some witty comment to Sasha, his eyes flickering to your face to catch your reaction.

“Oh my god, there was this one time,” Sasha spoke your name. “She had gotten so high during last year’s spring break, and the two of us and Mikasa came up with the brilliant idea of becoming one with nature. So, naturally, we ran to Walmart and bought this tent on clearance. Turns out it was made for kids, so none of us actually fit inside when we got back to Mikasa’s house. Mikasa and I curled up in a ball, surrounded by snacks, and this smart girl over here decided it was the best choice to just lay out on the lawn and pass out.”

“I wanted to watch the sun rise!” you laughed, trying to quickly explain yourself to Eren’s amused smirk. “And the grass was just so nice that night!”

“The grass was basically straw,” Sasha countered teasingly. “Twenty degrees outside, absolutely freezing. She was MIA for like a week afterwards with a cold.”

You shrugged carelessly, “Worth it.”

Now the two of you had sleeping on lawns in common? Eren scoffed inwardly. Yup, it was official, you were his soulmate. Still though, the topic of why you were so casual in person while your naked pictures existed online tickled his thoughts. He was hoping that somehow it’d get brought up naturally in conversation, saving himself the embarrassment if you were to get offended by his questioning. So far it seemed you liked him, not having said a word about him trailing after you like a lost puppy. Jean had been sending him knowing looks all night, Connie shooting two thumbs up at Eren while Armin looked on in confusion.

Mikasa had strolled out of the bathroom finally, joining the trio who stood casually in the living room, simply stating, “I’m starving. You guys think they deliver pizza out here?”

Sasha’s eyes widened in excitement, “I don’t care if it takes an hour to get here. We’re ordering right now.”

Already ahead of the two, your phone was pulled out in your hands to open up the Dominoes app, punching in the location of the party and placing the order online. Eren watched this all, peering over your hands to see the total.

“Guys, we should chip in,” Eren called out, grabbing the boys’ attention. “We’re ordering pizza.”

“No, no!” you protested, confirming the order. “It’s really fine, my treat.”

“But that’s really expensive,” he frowned, the group all joined together in the living room.

“Don’t worry, she’s got that OnlyFans money,” Sasha waved off Eren’s concern.

“OnlyFans?” Armin questioned, darting his eyes in between Sasha and you. “What’s that?”

Jean hid his blushing cheeks and your eyes flickered to him, then back to Armin, “I sell naked pictures online.”

“So what, a bunch of old guys give you money?” Armin had asked innocently, not judgemental in the slightest.

You giggled, relieved he wasn’t asking in a demeaning manner, “Actually, you’d be really surprised about who you know follows me. There’s a lot of people from school.”

Eren’s blood ran cold as he felt a sudden onset of embarrassment. Did that mean you had known this entire time Eren was one of these followers? If you did, you didn’t let on to it, smiling shyly as the questions ended. Eren hadn’t been done with the conversation, but pride from exposing himself in front of his friends kept his mouth shut.

It was around one in the morning when the party was at its peak. Sasha was being held up by her legs by Connie as she did a keg stand, you and the group cheering the girl on in your own drunken hazes. She tapped the large can, indicating she was finished, Connie settling her down on solid ground as she belched loudly.

“That was fucking awesome, Sasha!” you giggled, throwing your arms up and around her. You were definitely feeling the shots you had been feeding yourself all night, holding your red solo cup high above the girl so it wouldn’t slosh on her.

“You should totally try it!” she encouraged devilishly.

You pouted then, taking a moment to consider, “I’ve never done a keg stand before, what if I can’t do it?”

“I’ll help you!” Eren all but pounced on the opportunity, your smile turning into a tipsy giggle. “It’s not that hard, you just keep chugging until you can’t anymore. I’ll hold you, you got this.”

You lightly blushed, nodding your head at the encouragement, bringing a fist to your chest as a salute, “I’ll do it! We gotta’ put on a cool song though, if I’m going to fail miserably I might as well have a good song to do it to.”

Mikasa volunteered, as she was already DJ, having the best music taste out of everyone in the group. She dug her phone out of her pocket, switching over to a ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ remix. Connie whooped at the choice, and everyone began to chant your name as you hovered by the keg, very nervous. Eren then placed his large hand on the small of your back, leaning in to reassure you once again. You gulped, nodding that you were ready to get into position.

“Okay, so you’re going to lean your arms on the top of the can, and I’ll grab your legs. Like when you were a kid and you’d do that stupid wheelbarrel thing,” Eren easily explained, chuckling lightly. “Use your hands to let me know when you’re done.”

You did as you were told, resting your upper body against the keg as Eren hooked his arms around your calves. He couldn’t help but admire how strong your legs felt in his grasp, and how right it felt to finally have some bodily contact. He had been trying to figure out a natural way all night, and he was bubbling over in excitement, the chance had arisen, glorious in the promise of touch.

You placed your lips hesitantly around the tap, opening it up into your mouth, and began to chug. ‘Chug, chug, chug!’ was chanted all around you, even Mikasa joining in on the fun. Fists bumped in the air, and you felt like the coolest fucking person in the world. Doing a keg stand wasn’t exactly in your goals list, but fuck did it feel like it should’ve been as your ego inflated.

“That’s it, you’re doing great!” Eren’s thumbs brushed the inside of your knees, leaning in to whisper. “Good girl.”

You sputtered around the tap, choking harshly. You removed your mouth quickly to gasp for air, and the tap shot up all over your shirt, jacket long forgotten resting on the sofa in the living room. Eren moved your legs down to the floor quickly seeing this, and wrapped his arm around your waist to steady you as your arm shot out to grab onto something, in this case his other arm.

“You alright?” Jean asked, a look of concern washing over his features as you finally got some air into your lungs.

“Yeah,” you coughed again, blushing in embarrassment. “I definitely made a mess though.”

“I brought some extra clothes with me,” Eren offered quickly. “One of these idiots always manages to somehow spill something within the first hour of drinking. I’ll show you where my bag is at.”

You smiled in appreciation, biting your tongue to accuse him of purposely throwing you off your game with his little praise that had your knees buckling. He unwound his arm, taking your hand and leading you to the staircase by the entryway, your smaller form following behind him as he thudded up the stairs. Three doors greeted you at the top, and he led you into the master bedroom, plainly decorated and lacking personal belongings. You watched as he chucked a duffle bag onto the mattress, unzipping it and going through his clothes. He found a sweatshirt, smirking inwardly as it had been one of his old sports ones with his last name embroidered on the back. Proud he could provide a claim to you, he extended it to you, and you gladly accepted it.

“Well, you did really well in the beginning there,” he chuckled, whisking his stray baby hairs behind his ear. “Sucks about the shirt though. The first time I tried to do a keg stand, I barfed everywhere.”

You laughed lightly, fingering the hem of your shirt, “I guess it could’ve been a lot worse. Still, at least I can check this off my bucket list.”

Eren’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as you lifted your shirt to reveal your bare stomach, and he whisked his body completely around so you didn’t see his reddened cheeks, “You could’ve asked me to leave.”

Behind him, you let a mischievous smirk cross your lips, “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Eren’s mouth fell open at your bold statement, letting his words leave before he could stop them, “You know?”

“Of course,” you discarded the sodden shirt to the floor, sitting on the bed instead of tossing the sweatshirt on. “You’re my favorite viewer.”

He caught your movement in the corner of his eye, and he turned his head to take in the sight. Fuck, you were even more beautiful in person. Your bra was white and pretty and dainty, pushing your tits together, accentuating cleavage that Eren wanted to bury his face in. His gaze moved up to your face, smiling so innocently at him as he let out a dark chuckle, “Is that so?”

You hummed, leaning back to expose your form a bit more, feeling confident from the alcohol, “You like every one of my pictures, you buy all my content, you’re pretty cute, of course you’re my favorite.”

Eren’s ego soared as he turned his body completely towards you, taking a small step forward, “You’re just so beautiful, how could I not? I do have to ask this though, how come you never answered any of my messages?”

“Oh, my DMs are broken. Instagram doesn’t let me view them or respond,” you explained easily. “You know, you could’ve hit me up on OnlyFans, I definitely would have answered you.”

A blush crept up on Eren again as he averted his gaze to the floor, “I didn’t think about that.”

You giggled softly, “What’d you send me anyways?”

“I asked you out on a date,” he admitted, growing more nervous. “Told you that you were really pretty. Y’know, stuff you probably get all the time.”

“Most of my messages are from guys trying to take me out drinking and to get a quick fuck,” you scoffed. “Y’know, if the offer is still on the table, I’d really like to take you up on it.”

“Really?” Eren’s eyes met yours in surprise, you watched his Adam’s apple bob along his throat as he gulped. “You’d want to go out with me?”

“Yeah, who else is going to hold me up when I try to do a keg stand again?” you smiled sheepishly, batting your eyelashes. Eren’s hands twitched at his sides, fuck, you were so pretty.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked seriously, his gaze hardening as he felt a wave of possessiveness. In his mind, you were already his girlfriend. You had accepted his date, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to push his luck further.

Eren had never felt the way he feels right now. He took immediate notice of your blushing cheeks, your confident lean turn into a shy arch as you pushed your body into a hunched over seating position. Eren had experience with girls, that everyone knew as a fact, he was very far from being a virgin. You made him feel like a fucking virgin, heart beating wildly in his chest. All he wanted to do was to grab you and hide you away for his own greedy pleasure, the darkest parts of his mind tickled by the thought. He had laid a claim to you way before he had ever met you, and he wouldn’t let you escape now that he had you here, alone.

You didn’t answer his request, you pushed yourself off the mattress and met his staggering stance halfway. Unknown to his wicked thoughts, his past month of obsessing of you, you leaned up, gently brushing your lips against his. No one had ever asked you this simple question before, instead just taking the action as if they had owned you, and you thought to yourself that you could really love this boy who presented himself so innocently to you.

The soft placement of your lips to his was not enough, and Eren buried his mouth with your own, moving both of his hands to cup your face. He could feel your jaw beneath the pads of his fingertips as you attempted to meet his pace, sensual and passionate. The need for air forgotten for the both of you, sucking in deeply through your noses as the space continued to close between your bodies.

“Gonna take you someplace real nice,” muttered Eren as he pulled away slightly to gaze his half lidded eyes on your fluttering eyelashes, your gaze now hidden from him. “I know you like that one place in the city, I saw your little post of you wearing that tight dress. You looked so fucking pretty.”

Tingles shivered up your bones, a sharp intake of breath as you fluttered your eyes open to take in his deep lustful expression, “I’ll wear it for you, if you want.”

“Wear my necklace too.”

You pulled away completely this time, baffled, “Your necklace?”

“The one with the ‘E’ on it,” he breathed, moving forward to accommodate the sudden distance, his lips meeting the corner of your mouth. You realized then what he was referring to, a small smirk uplifting his kiss. You wouldn’t tell him though that the necklace in question was just some random trinket with no meaning you had purchased, or that you hadn’t even recognized the pretty cursive as a letter. You figured out very quickly Eren’s little crush was a bit more involved than just him attached to your hip at this party. No, it was way deeper than that. All of the likes, the money, the new information of messages made sense to you. Eren had believed you were his, and he had sought out confirmation all night to prove it.

“Okay,” you played along to his fantasy, an expert since it was your job online already to provide this to your viewers. “What else do you want me to wear?”

“There’s this one set of lingerie,” Eren was the one to pull back now, letting his teal eyes trail downwards to your chest, displeased by the lack of skin shown to him in that instance. “The black lacy one, fuck, wear that. You look so fucking sexy in that.”

“You don’t like when I wear white?” you pouted, bringing your hands to rest against the peak of your breasts, framing them like a picture.

“I like anything you wear,” a smirk crossed his features, eyes locked in on your tits. “Or what you don’t wear.”

You were met with two choices then. One, kiss Eren and get dressed and save yourself for your date, or two, fulfill his now present fantasy of his that was beginning to morph into your own. You mentally battled the decision in your mind, feeling the desire curl in your stomach at each option. If you were to give in now, Eren might not want to continue to chase after you, the promise of an actual date forgotten. Not to mention the party of people down stairs, the thud of music softened behind the closed door of the bedroom indicating it was still in full swing. Eren saw your hesitation, and let his hands travel to your elbows comfortingly.

“I know we technically just met,” he started, eyes now locked in on yours in genuine honesty. “But I really like you. You’re all I’ve thought about for the past month, so if you don’t feel comfortable going any further, that’s okay, I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you bit your lip as you watched his teal orbs flicker to your mouth. “It’s just — oh God, this is embarrassing to talk about so soon.”

“Shh, it’s okay, I won’t judge,” he cooed, bringing just a hand up to soothe over your cheek.

“I’m not exactly quiet,” you admitted, gesturing towards the floor. “I don’t really want to be the girl who fucks someone at the first party they show up to.”

Eren hadn’t predicted you to be loud in his fantasies, but he was really wishing he had. He held back a groan at your confession, images of what could be filling his dirty mind, “Fuck, okay, no problem. I don’t have any condoms with me anyways.”

“Actually,” you drawled. “I’m on the pill, so as far as that goes, that doesn’t really matter. I’m clean too, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

Boxes were being ticked quickly off of Eren’s checklist, and he let his jaw hang open, “I’m clean too, I don’t fuck anyone without a condom, to be honest.”

I’m going to fuck her raw, is all that was going through his mind. Treat her so good, take her out wearing her pretty little dress and treat her like a fucking princess.

“Please tell me you’re free tomorrow,” Eren pleaded. “I’ll take us fucking anywhere you want.”

“I am, actually,” you batted your eyelashes.

“Cool,” he muttered, beginning to feel drawn into your lips again. As you began to lean back in, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

“Hey! Everything alright?” you both froze, recognizing the voice as Armin’s. Of course he’d be the only one to dare interrupt, and the party below had discouraged him. Eren had taken you upstairs, and while they were all aware of the possibility of the two of you would be hooking up, Armin was more concerned that one or both of you had gotten sick and were in need of help.

“Yeah, we’re fine! Be out in a second!” Eren shouted, feeling suddenly frazzled from the intense interaction between you two. If Armin had opened the door, seeing the two of you locked in together so closely, making out feverishly, it would be completely mortifying. Especially since it wouldn’t be the first time Armin had accidentally seen his best friend in a suggestive situation.

You pecked his lips quickly then, breaking out of his embrace to throw his sweatshirt over your head. Eren was counting backwards in his head to rid himself of the half erection in his pants, nearly impossible as he thought about how pretty you looked in his clothing.

“C’mon,” you tugged at his hand, urging him to follow you back downstairs. “We have a pizza to eat and friends to convince that we definitely didn’t just fuck for ten minutes.”

The group hadn’t made a single comment when you two rejoined the party, only just knowing smirks from Jean and Connie to Eren. Sasha had wiggled her eyebrows at you, and you quickly pulled her and Mikasa into the bathroom to recap what had just occurred upstairs. The girls clapped drunkenly at your news of a date, incredibly excited that their best friend was finally going out with a boy. The night had ended around three in the morning, bodies scattered throughout the house to pass out wherever they pleased. Eren had continued to stay by you the rest of the night, this time, not shy at all as he stole touches to your back. And when it came time to pass out, you felt smugness as he rested his head on your back while you laid on your side on the same bed upstairs, his arm thrown tightly around your waist. Sasha curled up in front of you, your own head snuggling into her shoulder as the room spun you into a deep slumber.

You sat at a vanity in your apartment bedroom the next evening, applying various makeups to your face. Mikasa had awoken you and Sasha pretty early the next morning, wanting to go home so she could get ready for her job. Eren snored quietly behind you as you tried your best to maneuver out of his grasp, and the three of you cleaned up the cups and plates scattered around the house as a thank you to Jean for the invitation. Sasha had driven you all the way back to your place when you realized you were still wearing Eren’s hoodie, and you smirked. Now he definitely had a reason to get you on this date tonight, you had something that belonged to him.

When Eren had woken up, he truly believed for a few minutes that you had just been a dream. Pictures and videos posted all over Instagram had shown him differently though, the two of you leaning against each other on the leather couch smiling drunkenly on Armin’s story had his heart pounding. His arm was around your shoulders, your head was tilted in the crook of his neck, and then Eren remembered that he was going to see you again tonight. He took a screenshot before the story moved on to a video of the group in a heated discussion about music tastes, a quiet chuckle made its way out of his throat as he recounted memories that would become very fond to him.

He had posted the picture then to his Instagram, a few others followed after that included him and his other friends. Eren tagged all of the people, but most importantly, the picture of the two of you was the first in the line up of the photo set. A few messages hit his inbox after he hit the post button, some classmates asking if you were his girlfriend, because you were wearing his sweatshirt in the photo. He decided to not respond, because as much as he wanted to tell them yes, he knew he’d be jumping the gun. His heart raced as a notification popped up — you had liked the picture, and added a comment, ‘last night was a movie’ with a kiss emoji. When he refreshed the page, your lit up story showed him that you had even reposted his photo set. His ego soared, his affections no longer one sided, and he couldn’t fucking wait to take you out later and show you the best time he could.

Eren had gotten your phone number from Sasha not long before your date, asking for your address and trying to pick out a time to head out to dinner. You tapped a response quickly, and looked at the clock to gauge how much time you’d need to be fully ready. That had been about three hours ago, your body had been scrubbed and shaved, hair curled prettily down your back as you added the final touches of lipstick to your lips. The dress Eren had talked about was laid out on your perfectly made bed, a pretty satin champagne colored fabric, and your apartment was fairly clean, fully expecting his company after the date of all went well. You dressed yourself easily, slipping on black heels when you heard the chime of your phone, letting you know Eren was awaiting you outside.

When the elevator doors chimed open as you walked into your lobby, you saw from the entrance doors Eren leaned back casually against the Uber he had offered to pay for. His attention immediately focused on your form as you exited your building, his gaze flickered all over your body.

“You look incredible,” Eren easily complimented, pushing himself up to stand straight. He leaned in to kiss your blushing cheek as you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’, and he pulled the door handle of the sleek black car, ushering you inside. He slammed it closed after you had positioned yourself comfortably, giving the driver a soft greeting as Eren circled around the back, getting in on the opposite side. The directions were already plugged into the driver’s GPS, and it took less than twenty minutes to get to the restaurant in question.

This gave you enough time to take in Eren’s appearance, and damn if you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to do so, the sight practically mouth watering. His hair hung low in a messy bun, a few complementary strands hanging out to frame his sharp jawline. His torso was adorned in a sheer white long sleeve button up, a small portion of his chest revealed as he had left the top buttons alone, chains hanging against his collarbones, silver in color this time. Black slacks that tightened around his thighs and calves had you biting your lip in appreciation, his legs spread as he took up space in the backseat.

“Staring isn’t very polite,” he had leaned in, taking notice of your devouring gaze.

“Stop dressing like a whore and maybe I won’t stare,” you teased back, chuckling quietly when he swatted your exposed thigh lightly. He kept his hand there for the rest of the drive, enjoying the comfortable silence as the quiet hum of the radio filled in the gaps.

When the Uber had slowed to a stop outside of the fancy restaurant Eren had insisted taking you to, he swung the door open before you had a chance to reach for the handle on your side. He raced to the other side of the car, pulling open the door and extending his hand out for you to grasp onto. You circled your fingers around his palm, and he tightened his grasp as you swung your legs over the flooring, and stood before him. The two of you thanked the driver, and he sped away shortly after. Hand still locked in with yours, Eren led the way inside the opened doors of the restaurant. Inside, a hostess wearing a very classy black uniform greeted the two of you.

“Reservation for Eren,” he spoke smoothly, and your eyes widened in surprise, expecting to have sat and waited for at least a half an hour before you had been seated.

“Right this way,” she smiled politely, two menus in her hands as she welcomed you into the dining area. You followed behind Eren, realizing that this place must’ve been a lot more expensive than you originally had gauged. All the guests appeared in their very best formal attire, and the chatter was soft as the beautiful notes of a piano resounded throughout the space. While you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the music was coming from, you had a strong feeling that there was a physical player somewhere in the midst, it sounded so clear and professional. When the hostess had sat you down in a booth secluded against the furthest set wall, she smiled politely once more and informed you that the waiter would be with you soon.

“Eren,” you hissed as you sat opposite of his smirking form. “This place is stupid fancy!”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waved easily. “I got it, I promise.”

“How are you able to afford this? I’ve got a little bit of money and even I couldn’t go some place this nice,” you questioned, feeling a small pang of guilt. He was going to go broke trying to treat you to a very nice, albeit expensive, meal.

“My dad is a doctor,” he shrugged, picking up the menu and eyeing over their drink selection. “He sends me money whenever I come around and help around his office.”

“Following in the family footsteps?” you tried at the conversation, realizing you virtually knew nothing about the boy in front of you.

“Nah, I’m more into the business side of things,” he smiled up at you then, showing off his pearly white teeth. “What about you? What are you majoring in?”

You spoke of your major, Eren carefully listening in of your passions and your goals for your future ahead. He was pleased to hear that you were ambitious, smiling as he was enamored by your speech. Not that he minded a single bit about your online job, but to hear that you had a legitimate career goal soothed his worries.

A finely dressed waiter greeted you shortly, introducing himself and taking the both of your orders in one go, and stole away the menus. The rest of the date flew by quickly, tipsy from your cocktails and full of giggles as the two of you got to know one another. Although Eren was already knowledgeable about a number of your likes and dislikes and personality quirks due to Instagram, you had the undisguisable pleasure of learning his right then and there.

“So,” you leaned your elbows onto the table, resting your chin atop of your closed fists. “Tell me, how many girls have you taken here before?”

“Not a single one,” he chuckled lowly, passing the black booklet encasing his credit card as the waiter stopped at the table. “This is actually my first time taking anyone out somewhere so fancy. Usually I just hang out at the more lowkey spots around campus.”

“I would’ve been totally okay with going somewhere like that instead,” you frowned, that same guilt flooding back to your stomach. Eren hadn’t even let you see the bill before he had given it away, so you were completely ignorant as far as how far the total rang up. “You really didn’t have to take me out to such an expensive place.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, smirking as he did so, “Had to take my favorite girl somewhere nice, show you off in that gorgeous dress of yours.”

You blushed, moving your fists to hold your cheeks to try and contain the heat, “Fine, but next time, I want to see one of these ‘lowkey spots’.”

“Next time, huh?” Eren mused cockily.

“Yes, I guess I had a really great time tonight, consider yourself honored,” you giggled half heartedly.

“Oh believe me, I do.”

Eren had walked you to the front door of your apartment like the gentleman he was. Really, he was just trying to procrastinate leaving you, not wanting the night to be over with quite yet. Luckily, you were on the exact same page as he stood awkwardly behind you while you unlocked your front door.

You turned, an eyebrow raised, “Well? Are you coming in or what?”

“Say less,” he sighed in relief, following your sauntering frame inside your apartment. He was initially impressed as you flicked the light switch on the wall up, illuminating your precious space. Very clean and organized, he felt a pang of jealousy, knowing his own dorm room was scattered with clothes and empty water bottles. If he had only seen what your living space looked like before you had straightened up, he might have felt better about himself.

“I have some róse in the fridge,” you offered, making your way to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass?”

“No lie, that’s literally my favorite wine,” Eren groaned. “How are you this perfect?”

You laughed loudly, grabbing two wine glasses from your cabinet, opening your fridge and retrieving the bottle. Filling the glasses generously, you left the bottle on your kitchen counter and turned around, Eren a lot closer than where you had left him a moment ago. You extended his cup, which he graciously took and sipped. You mirrored him, gulping down your own mouthful.

“Y’know,” he started, gazing around your kitchen space. “For all that talk of mimosas in your Instagram bio, I really expected there to be a lot more pictures of you drinking them.”

You chuckled once again, “Believe me, I have plenty of orange juice, vodka, and champagne here. We had such a classy dinner, I thought I’d try and match it with some wine. Besides, vodka brings out the worst in me.”

“Ah, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes, swatting his bicep harmlessly. “I get what you’re about at brunch with the girls.”

“If I had a nickel for every time Mikasa had to peel me and Sasha off the pavement after mimosas and scones, I’d be fucking rich,” you giggled once again, raising the glass to your lips.

“I’m really surprised we hadn’t met each other before last night, especially because Mikasa and I have been best friends since we were little,” Eren raised an eyebrow. “She’s basically my sister, and never once did she say anything about you, I only met Sasha because Connie’s attached to her hip and they share the same brain cell.”

“If it makes you feel better, I only knew Jean existed because we had a class together this semester,” you shrugged, purposefully leaving out the part where he consumed your content almost as much as Eren did.

“And of course me,” Eren smirked cheekily. “Because I’m your favorite viewer, like you said.”

“Don’t make me regret telling you that,” you pointed your glass towards him in a fake threat.

“It’s okay, you’re my favorite girl, so it evens itself out,” Eren placed his half drunk glass on the counter top, his gaze much more seductive. “Besides, you wore my necklace like I asked, I gotta tease you a little bit.”

“I wore pretty much everything you wanted me to,” you smirked, copying his actions and settling your own cup down.

“Did you now?” he took long strides to stand in front of you, toying with the necklace that he had laid claim over.

“I can show you, if you want to see,” you leaned up with full intentions of capturing his kiss.

“There’s nothing else I would rather do, pretty girl,” Eren cooed, licking his lips before meeting you in the middle. His arms circled around your waist, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as the pace started out slowly. Gentle was not what either of you wanted though, the desperation seeping in fast as his fingers explored your sides.

“Bedroom,” you gasped as he removed his lips and attached them to your jaw. He had no qualms of fucking you right out here in the kitchen, so he made no effort to move. Realizing you had to take the reins, you moved backwards from Eren, smirking as he groaned from the sudden distance. His eyes followed you predatorily as he began to chase after you, your back meeting the wooden paneling of your bedroom door. He attempted to recapture your mouth, but your hand was faster in turning the door knob, and you began to lead him back until your mattress met the backs of your knees.

“Want you to show me what you’re wearing under that dress,” Eren demanded, playing with the short hem that rested on your thighs.

You nodded, giving him the silent okay to take off the fabric encompassing your frame. You turned so your back faced him, moving your hair out of the way so he could unzip the back. His eyes followed as he fingered the silver zipper, agonizingly teasing himself as more and more was revealed to him. Seeing the straps of the black lace he had requested drunkenly the night before, his patience snapped as he pulled the metal piece down faster. You slid the tiny straps off your shoulders at the sweet feeling of release, and Eren’s dick was rock fucking solid as it pooled around your feet, you kicked the silky fabric to the side and faced him once more.

“You’re wearing everything I told you to,” he stated, drinking in the sight of your scantily clad body. “Good girl.”

You bit back an embarrassing moan at his praise, feeling the heat pool between your thighs. It came as such a shock to you to be so reactive to his words, and it came slamming into you that maybe you weren’t as vanilla as you had previously believed. You had a kink! It all made so much sense, why you felt such pride and arousal from complete strangers giving you their attention and compliments online. You yearned for it, craved the affections, and now that Eren stood in front of you, more than willing to shower you with pretty words, all the moisture in your mouth dried up. You wanted him so fucking bad.

Eren’s hands met the naked skin of your waist as his palms etched over your soft stomach. They met in the middle of your back, leaning your back onto the mattress as he climbed on top of you, a single hand coming up to work on discarding his button up. You rushed to help, pads of your fingers working the buttons open until he revealed his bare chest, his chains hanging above you. He worked his arms out quickly, tossing the fabric onto the floor. He brought his lips to yours, this kiss much more desperate and needy than the previous ones. His hands explored every inch of your body, the tops of your thighs to the swell of your breasts. He tugged on the soft lace at the top, slowly bringing the black fabric down to expose the complete fullness of your breasts. A sight familiar yet somehow new made Eren groan, the pads of his thumbs brushing against your pretty nipples, instantly hardening them.

You moaned lightly, throwing your head back and arching your back into his touch. How many times had Eren pictured you just like this?

“I fucked my fist so many fucking times thinking about you,” he confessed as he pressed slow open mouthed kisses to your collarbone. “You have no idea what your pictures did to me, no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”

He leaned his bottom half forward, pressing his thick clothed erection into the meat of your thigh. You let out a whimper, head foggy as his words made your pussy clench around nothing.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he licked a stripe up your neck, leaving a wet saliva trail as he wrapped his lips around where he could feel your pulse the strongest. “My pretty girl.”

While Eren wanted to talk about what you did to him, all you could think about was what he was doing to you. The want and need that coursed through your veins was like a drug, you could feel him worming his way into your bloodstream, straight to the center of your heart and out to the warmest parts of your body. And you felt like an addict in that moment too, and every moment you would spend with Eren there after. You could feel his kisses as if he was underneath your skin, his entire body pressed against yours. So, so close, yet not close enough.

“Take off your pants,” you demanded shakily, placing your hands at the button of his slacks. He seemed to be on the same page of you yet again, and he followed his instructions without delay. He kicked out of the tight pants with ease, and you were more than pleased to see he had rid himself of his boxers too when you heard the thick slap of his cock meeting his stomach.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes widened. “Eren, that’s not going to fit.”

“Don’t worry,” he soothed your hair back from your face, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose. “I’ll make sure you’re nice and wet for me.”

He started to move south, licking and giving attention to your right nipple as he did so. While the idea of him giving you thorough attention was erotic, you really wanted to please him for your first time together, unknown to you as Eren had thought the exact same thing, wanting to make you feel so good you’d come crawling back to him for more.

You pushed yourself up into a seating position, Eren’s eyes flickering in confusion as you stood up. This look didn’t last for long as you switched positions, pushing his torso onto the bed as you rested atop of him, feet placed firmly on the ground. His mouth hung open in disbelief as you began to return his assault on his neck, sucking and kissing and even biting along the columns. He let out a shaky groan, unable to hold it back as your hands traveled down his chest to his abdomen, feeling over the muscles there.

“What’re you doing, princess?” Eren questioned teasingly, not trying to get his hopes up on what your plan seemed to be.

“Wanna’ make you feel good,” your eyes flickered up to meet the dark green of his eyes, watching as his pupils expanded as the realization hit him like a brick.

“Fuck, okay,” Eren subconsciously widened his thighs then, bringing himself up to lean on his elbows as your kisses followed shortly behind the trail of your fingers.

Your mouth met the defined muscle of his stomach, and your eyes drifted up to catch Eren’s reaction as you neared closer to his aching cock. His eyes were hardened on you, brows knitted together, he almost looked angry. You kitten licked above his navel, and knew the anger was superficial as he threw his head back, letting out a quiet groan. You leaned your body in closer, pushing your exposed chest against his length. He whipped his head forward again at the contact, his lips opened as he inhaled shaky breaths.

Part of you had kind of wanted to hear Eren beg for your mouth, but the thought had quickly left your head as he entangled his fingers into the back of your scalp, massaging gently as he did so. Without a moment of hesitation, you lowered your face so you were eye to eye with his thick shaft. Honestly, you really hadn’t expected Eren to be this big. You had caught a glimpse of his half erect member tenting in his pants the night before, but as it stood to full attention, you were very much intimidated by the sheer size. You gulped, putting on a brace face as you continued on.

The sound of Eren’s groans growing louder as you licked a bold stripe from the bottom of his base to the tip of his head had stirred your cunt deeply. You were on your knees now, feet tucked up under you when you felt the wet patch of your panties touch the back of your heels. You licked a few more times, your right hand trailing down from his stomach to grip him more upright. You pulled all the saliva in your mouth onto your tongue, and wrapped your lips around his tip while your hand secured a purposeful grip at his base. You started slow, only sucking in your cheeks and moving your tongue along the underside of his head, pumping him at the same pace. You could feel beads of spit meet your knuckles, circling your tongue around the entirety of his fat mushroom tip. You smoothly licked along his slit, collecting his gushing precum and tasting the salty liquid.

Meanwhile as you had just started your worship of his cock, Eren was watching you in disbelief as your eyelashes fluttered along your cheeks, mouth prepping yourself to take in his full length. He had pulled himself into a sitting position now to provide you the best angle he could. He was in complete awe, furrowing eyebrows and his mouth hanging open, he knew in that moment there was absolutely no point of return. He would follow you from here on out, whether it be online or in reality, wherever you would go. Soulmates, he reminded himself while he collected your hair into his fist and away from your mouth. You were his fucking soulmate.

You pressed your knees upward, eyes opening. Eren’s pupils were blown out, his breathing irregular, and you wanted to watch him completely unfold as you angled your head to drop lower onto his shaft, hand working just a little faster.

“Fuck —“ he stuttered, eyes blazing into yours. “That’s it, take all of me, you’re such a good girl.”

You moaned lightly at his praise once again, and Eren’s cock hit the back of your throat. You pulled your lips up slowly, tongue caressing the underside of his member the entire time, and quickly brought your unoccupied hand into a fist. This was the first time you would be trying out this trick, reading it in a magazine since your gag reflex was very strong and this helped soothe the impulse. Eren was not prepared in the slightest as you removed the hand gripping him, letting his dick fall forward a bit more. You took a deep breathe through your nose, spit coating his entire cock now, and pushed your mouth fast back down his shaft.

Eren let out a strangled gasp when your nose brushed against his pelvis, “Holy fucking — fuck. Shit, yeah, just like that. You look so fucking pretty right now.”

Tears were threatening the spill over your lash line and you bobbed your head furiously, taking in as much as you could before you gagged. You stared up at him the entire time, watching his face screw together as you lapped and sucked his cock. Your jaw was aching already from his size, minding your teeth placement as you quickened your pace. You returned your hand to wrap and pump whatever your mouth wasn’t able to reach as you set yourself into a more comfortable pattern. Your other hand cupped his balls, swirling them softly in your palms.

Eren’s fingers yanked you back, his dick falling out of your lips in a soft pop, as you looked up in confusion, “Gonna’ stop you there baby, gonna’ make me cum.”

His hand in your hair guided you back up to his lips, and Eren could taste himself as his tongue pushed through your swollen mouth to enter yours. You moaned into the kiss, so sloppy and messy, you took no notice of Eren’s hands wiping away the leftover dribble on your chin. He yanked you back, a bit rougher this time, and you panted, rubbing your thighs together at the force. He eyed you up, your beautiful tits still on display, the fabric of your lace bra folded underneath them.

“Get naked for me, princess,” he cooed, untangling his fingers from your scalp. You did as you were told, practically ripping the lace set off your body as you soon stood stark naked in front of Eren. He pushed his legs up, joining you. You felt very small then as he towered above you, playing with the tips of your hair, he guided you around until you were forced to lay yourself flat on your back on the mattress once again.

Eren caressed your shins as he stood tall in front of you, never breaking eye contact. You could still see the glistening of your saliva on his cock, and heat continued to pool in between your thighs in anticipation of his next move.

“Look at you,” he whispered, wrapping his fingers on the tops of your bent knees, legs closed together. “So pretty, it almost hurts to look at you.”

His darkened eyes shot down, drinking you all in before settling on your closed legs. With his hands, he gently forced them to part, and he let out a quiet moan at the sight in front of him. Dripping in arousal, almost sparkling and shining like the gem you were, your pussy spread open for him, begging for his attention. His gaze darted up back to your face, trying not to get too carried away as he admired your beautiful body.

Eren let out a dark chuckle, stroking his hands to the meat of your thighs, “You have no idea the things I have planned for us, princess.”

You whimpered, unable to voice a single word. His right hand moved towards your center, and you gasped sharply as he gently grazed your folds with the lightest of touches. His thumb landed a hair above your clit, and you squirmed, desperate now. He circled so slowly on your pearl, gazing on with an inflated ego. Eren wanted you to beg for him, to tell you all about those ideas he had going on in his head while he fucked his fingers into you.

He decided to go easy on you though, you had plenty of time ahead of you to learn exactly what he wanted when it came to the bedroom, he cooed, “I’m gonna’ show you off, just like you deserve. Gonna’ buy you pretty things, treat you like the fucking princess you are — gonna’ be my pretty girl.”

“Please, Eren,” you whimpered, attempting to push your pelvis into his hand, failing miserably as his other one gripped your thigh in place. “I need you.”

“Tell me exactly what you need, baby,” Eren smirked.

“Everything,” you breathed out. “I want you to keep calling me pretty, wan’ you to fuck me.”

“We’ll get to that part soon,” he paused, lowering his head to your inner thigh, getting to his knees on the floor. “Just need to make you feel good first, pretty girl.”

Eren licked a bold stripe up your pussy as you mewled, feeling a shred of relief as the tip of his tongue circled your clit. You felt a bead of saliva, probably mixed in with your own arousal, travel down the seam of your ass. Eren was starving, and you tasted so delicious, a sweet tart flavor exploding across his taste buds. He flattened his tongue, and looked up to watch your gorgeous face as his lips engulfed your clit.

You threw your head back, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you attached your hands to your breasts, pulling and tugging on your nipples. He positioned his hands to the back of your thighs then, somehow managing to spread you open even more. The sounds he made in between your folds were wet and sloppy, and he rubbed small circles with the pads of his thumbs into the creases where your legs met your ass.

He never broke away from your face, watching everything unfold before him. Now that you were free from his solidifying grip, your hips were rolling. He watched your ribs expand and fall as you moaned unabashedly, rubbing your cunt into his mouth. Eren had never seen a more beautiful sight, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. His right hand itched closer to your opening, and you trembled at the prodding of his index fingers. His tongue flopped around sloppily, slurping your bud in between his lips as he entered you slowly, cock pulsing at the feeling of your slick velvety walls greeting his finger.

Here he was, on his knees before you, eyes heavy and swirling because of you. You arched your back as he pumped the single digit in you slowly at first. He felt the tight clench of your walls as his tongue flicked at a certain angle, pleased that he had discovered very quickly how he was going to get you to cum. Eren was impatient, and as much as he wanted to stay between the heat of your thighs for hours if you’d let him, he really needed that orgasm from you. The tip of his pointer finger left you briefly, and you whimpered at the sudden loss, quickly becoming breathless and he slammed it right back in alongside his middle finger. They curled inside of you, brushing right against the soft spongy wall that was your g-spot. You were gushing for him, the sloppy noises of his assaults resounding around the bedroom.

“Fuck, fuck,” you panted, feeling your breasts bounce as he fucked his fingers into you at an alarming pace, tongue following the pattern eagerly. “Oh my god, I’m so close, Eren, I’m gonna’ cum.”

He pulled his mouth back momentarily, voice husky and pleading as he told you, “Cum for me, baby.”

You slammed your hips down onto his knuckles, feeling the underside of his palm and your slick. He had been reduced to curling and angling his fingers inside of you, watching in adoration and awe as you bounced yourself on his fingers, rubbing your pretty pussy against his mouth. Eren had just become a bystander at this point, he was pretty much forced to be stilled as you used his mouth and hands so greedily, feeling an unfamiliar swell in your cunt.

And when your back arched, and your walls clenched so fiercely tight around his drenched fingers, Eren found his forever love. He’d do anything, be anyone, whatever the fuck that was asked of him, to see this sight for the rest of his life. You were vibrating, legs shaking so strongly, Eren had to mentally catch up when he felt a gush of hot liquid soak him. He shifted his gaze down in shock, and holy shit, you were squirting.

You swore you had never orgasmed like this before, it was more than stars you were seeing behind your closed eyelids. It was pure black, absolute nothingness as your brain short circuited. It was like your pussy was taking a deep breath, because when the onset of contractions hit you, you thought you were going to pass out. And poor Eren, who stared dumbly in front of him at how intense your muscles were flexing, was already so deeply in love with you and was confessing his eternal devotion to you in his mind.

When your cunt had settled down, and your hips relented in pushing yourself against Eren’s face and hands, you let out a low moan as he slid his drenched fingers out of you. He stared at his hand, shining with your cum, and flickered his gaze up to you.

“I’m going to fucking marry you,” he growled. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”

You let out an exhausted laugh, “Would you believe me if I told you that was the first time I’ve ever squirted?”

“I’m buying you a goddamn ring tomorrow,” he placed a kiss to your inner thigh, moving his body up to hover above you. Eren’s hands wrapped around your thighs once again, propping your knees to your chest. He saw the slight trace of fear in your eyes, and he paused, “You okay?”

“It’s just,” you gazed at the point between your bodies. “Are you gonna’ fit?”

Eren leaned forward, feeling slightly relieved, his face still dripping in your essence, and he placed a sweet, romantic kiss to your lips, pulling away to murmur, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

You nodded your head, letting the worry roll off your body as one of his hands caressed your cheek, never breaking eye contact with him. The other hand reached in between your centers, grabbing his throbbing cock and sliding himself along your pussy. He was soon coated in your juices, and both of you were letting out quiet moans. As he sunk his tip into your entrance though, you were gasping loudly.

Eren really had wanted to be gentle, he had no intentions whatsoever of hurting you, but he had realized very quickly that you were going to be the one to set the pace in the relationship. Because as soon as half of his shaft was anchored in your heat, your hips slammed upwards to engulf his entire length. He bit back a yelp at the suddenness, fisting the sheets by your waist in a tight grip. If Eren didn’t feel like a virgin before, he sure as fuck did now.

You didn’t realize just how prepped that orgasm had made you, or how sensitive. What you had believed would’ve been pain was insurmountable and mind blowing pleasure, and you smiled in pride as Eren’s jaw fell open. You felt his hands fall from the underside of your thighs, and you took the opportunity, leveraging your legs, and thrusted upwards. Eren bottomed out inside of you, and you winced slightly at the mild pain of his tip meeting the wall of your cervix, the stretch of your walls accommodating him as you fluttered around him.

“You’re so big, Eren,” you moaned out, moving your hands to grasp his flexing biceps. “‘Feels so good.”

Eren was fighting an internal war — go as slow as physically possible as to not bust in your heavenly pussy in three strokes, or give you the best two minutes of your fucking life. Because it was absolutely all way too much, your gorgeous face, your soaked core, the way you gripped his cock so tightly. You were a vixen, Eren’s personal vices wrapped up in one human body. He couldn’t help but take notice of how perfectly your bodies fit together, your pussy made for him.

“Eren, move, please,” you whined, attempting to squirm your hips. He shot a hand down to your hip, stilling you as he gave you a warning glare.

“I’m trying really hard not to cum inside of you right now,” Eren groaned, finally moving his hips. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Making it real hard for me right now.”

Little was Eren aware of your pussy still on edge from the mind blowing power of your first orgasm, and you mouth lolled open as he slowly fucked you. If you were to touch your clit, or have any type of pressure there right now, it would be over for you as well. You’d have all the time in the future to have long, drawn out sex with Eren, but the two of you were just way too turned on and aroused by each other to have anything but heavy and fast sex. With a slight hesitation on your end, also not wanting to cum so quickly around his length, you rocked your hips into his fastening pace.

Eren chose the latter of his two options then, feeling the ridges of your pussy pulse and flutter around his cock. He pulled all the way back, tip daring to fall out of your little hole, and he flung himself right back in to the hilt. He repeated this a few times, and you were trying your best to hold back screams. Eren was drooling at the sight of your pretty pink pussy taking him, sloppy and messy from his saliva and your cum. He brought his attention to your bouncing breasts, molding one into his palm, rolling the nipple in the center.

Eren’s thrusts quickened dramatically, and he knew that your warning from the previous night had been true. You were screaming, calling out his name and several swears and ‘oh my god’s. This only encouraged him more, ego pretty much stroking his own cock as he plunged into you at a dangerous pace. He knew he was going to fast approach his orgasm, but Eren wasn’t stupid either. He could feel the clench tightening around him as he fucked right into that pretty spot inside of you, the way your breathing changed after a few seconds of that. Eren would become your number one expert, knowing every tell tale sign of your body, and what you were feeling. From one orgasm, he knew how your breathing changed, and Eren was determined to take you to those heights again.

Keeping the flick of his hips at the slamming pace he was at, he brought his thumb to your swollen clit. At the impact, your eyes screwed closed over the overwhelming pleasure. You felt a twinge of pain, just so sensitive from how strong you came before, but didn’t stop Eren as he rolled your pearl in fast circles, putting delicate pressure on the very top. It took maybe three strokes of his cock and a slight unsteady irregularity in his pattern to get you right where he had wanted you — desperate to cum alongside him.

“I’m so close, Eren,” you moaned out, lower body buzzing in anticipation.

“I want you to cum on my cock,” he demanded, a shocked moan crawling out of his throat at the first clench. “Oh, fuck, good girl.”

You spasmed under him, eyebrows shooting up in a furrow as you arched your back uncontrollably, the wave of your second orgasm slamming into you like a train. You could hear the squelching of Eren fucking your pussy as you contracted around him, or as he tried to. It was pure ecstasy, a feeling of wholeness filling you entirely. Half way through your orgasm, he grabbed the base of his cock, sliding out of you as he pumped himself fast above you. You held your legs open, breathing heavily as Eren watched your muscles contract in astonishment. He had never made a girl cum like this before, so hard and so visually. Your beautiful face, eyes encouraging him to cum, was all he needed. His dick was covered in you, his fingers sticky and soaked. It was all so fucking sloppy, and the thought and sight of it all caught up to him.

You felt the hot ropes of cum hit your belly, moaning at the sight. Eren was fucking his fist, cock thrusting in his grip like he had been doing in your pussy. His head hung forward, eyes drinking in the entirety of you. He shot his load on your lower half, stroking himself down after a couple of minutes, breathing heavily.

He eyed the box of tissues on your nightstand, and grabbed a few, languidly wiping his cum off of your abdomen as the two of you tried to catch your breath, or bring a ration thought back into your minds.

“We just had porn star sex,” you giggled tiredly.

“Oh yes we fucking did,” Eren smirked. “Not to like hype you up or whatever, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Your pride and ego swelled as he finished wiping up his cum, discarding the tissues in the bin on the floor. He hadn’t given you much time to respond, asking where the bathroom was so he could grab a rag to clean you up. You were humbled, affection rising in your chest when he returned to take care of your exhausted body. No one had bothered with aftercare before, and right then and there, you knew Eren was a keeper.

“Thank you,” you yawned out, stretching your legs in front of you. Eren hung around a little awkwardly, not sure of what to do. “You can spend the night, if you want to.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smile crossing his face, “Do you want me to?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself back until your head met your pillows and lifted your comforter, gesturing for Eren to join you. And that he did, pouncing on the offer and sliding into bed with you, not hesitating for a second to wrap his muscular arms around your waist. He kissed you gently, pulling away to place his lips on your shoulder as you began to drift off.

You awoke alone in your bed, the bright rays of the sun hazy as you blinked the sleep away. You could smell and hear the sizzling of breakfast in your kitchen, your bedroom door swung wide open. You threw your legs over the mattress, stealing a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You cringed at the mascara stains under your eyes, taking a tissue and wiping underneath your lashes to look presentable enough for the man looming in your kitchen. You discarded the tissue, and slid on a pair of fresh panties and Eren’s enormous sweatshirt you had yet to return, and padded your bare feet across your floor to join him.

Eren’s back faced you, his form only clad in a pair of boxers as he focused his complete attention to the frying pans in front of him. You smirked, leaning against your counter, placing your chin in your open hands.

“Good morning, Chef Eren,” you teased, catching him off guard as he jumped a bit.

He turned to face you, hair a complete mess as a boyish smile graced his face, “Morning, princess. I hope you don’t mind my mess.”

“It smells amazing, so I guess I can figure out a way to forgive you,” you sighed dramatically. “Only if there’s coffee involved, though.”

“Way ahead of you,” he moved his legs over to your coffee machine, a pair of steaming muga awaiting his hand. He grabbed one, a plain white mug that matched the rest of your kitchen set, and set it on the counter in front of you.

“If you’re trying to earn extra credit, it’s working,” you said, dumbstriken.

“Gotta’ show you I’m boyfriend material,” he wagged his eyebrows, turning back to the frying pan before cutting the heat off. “I couldn’t find your plates, though.”

“Cabinet above the sink,” you directed, pulling out a stool from underneath your kitchen bar. “Forks and stuff are in the drawer by the refrigerator.”

Eren nodded, collecting two plates and the necessary utensils from their designated areas. The sight of eggs and bacon made your mouth water, and you were about to get a key made specifically for Eren to waltz in every morning to cook you this glorious meal every single day. You thanked him as he set your plate in front of you, and you dug in.

“Eren, it’s so good,” you complimented after chewing. “You really know how to treat a girl.”

He simply laughed, and the two of you fell into a pleasant conversation. And then by the time mid day rolled around, the two of you had talked all about where you’d be spending the evening. The night had ended just like the one before in mind blowing sex, the morning after repeating itself, and again, and again.

A month later, you had updated your Instagram bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas, rock and roll, and Eren Jaeger’. And when it had come time to update your OnlyFans content, you were more than happy to have your own personal photographer to use at your discretion. Just as long as you continued to wear his necklace, Eren would take as many pictures as you needed him to, knowing you’d end up in each other’s beds at the end of the session anyways. And he’d continue to follow you, this time though, you’d gladly send him his favorite pictures for free.

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

#eren x reader #eren jaeger #eren yaeger #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin eren #eren smut #eren fluff #eren fanfiction #attack on titan eren #aot eren #eren jeager x reader #eren jaeger x y/n #eren yaeger x reader #eren fic

[leahseclipse]

Here's the brand new masterlist !! Everything is organized by show, pairing and pronouns, so you don't get lost.

None of my works are to be reposted anywhere. Please report it to me if you happen to see a work of mine under a different username.

Have a good reading session!

++

S T R A N G E R T H I N G S

Steve Harrington x reader

fem!reader

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you: With the help of the kids, Steve secretly organises a proposal to you.

I don't think I could stand to be where you don't see me (I need you to stay) [AO3] : Steve takes a risk in the upside down, leading to some panic on the reader's side because of their feelings for him. Will they be able to make it out alive to confess their love?

Eddie Munson x reader

gen!reader

Nothing ever lasts forever: [ST4 VOL.2 EP9 SPOILERS] Reader's farewell letter to Eddie Munson.

If I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get him to swap our places: [ POST ST4 VOL.2 - FIX-IT FIC] After the recent traumatic events, Eddie has ended up in the hospital, and fell into a coma. Reader visits everyday, hoping he'll wake.

Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham (Hannigram)

Damaging Your Mind (AO3 Crosspost / Hannibal AU where Will is a therapist, and Hannibal is a priest): What else could happen between a psychiatrist and a simple priest? [COMING SOON]

Fin Du Repas ; Just a smol angst fic

Hannigram x GN! Reader

Le Cœur A Ses Raisons : When Will has been locked up before the reader could even admit their feelings, on top of fearing his rejection when he'll learn they got in a relationship with Hannibal, whom he tried to kill, what will be left of their friendship?

Villanelle x Eve

Maybe We Got Lost In Translation: Maybe Eve and Villanelle weren’t meant for each other after all, getting closer was a mistake. Maybe they got lost in translation.

Spencer Reid x Reader

GN!Reader

An (un)usual surprise: During the team’s usual dinner party at Rossi’s house, Reader and Spencer both have an exciting surprise to announce to the team.

2AM: The reader locked themselves out of their apartment out of the middle of the night, but a certain genius living down the hall might be able to help.

Fem!reader

Confessions, surprises and joyful events: What worse thing could happen other than calm and nice coffee dates when the genius resident happens to forget items when suddenly called in, causing their secret to come out? 

Daily surprises: Everyday, Spencer finds a new book in his bag, starting to look forward to it when the event occurs on a daily basis. 

Dear diary: When Spencer happens to find a diary in the library, he becomes more curious about the owner of it, wanting to find them, and possibly know them better than with a few words. 

Dear friend: Reader joins the BAU team, with possible feelings for one of the members, as old acquaintances reappear in her life 

Difficult day: Spencer and Reader both give up coffee and help each other by trying to find ways to keep each other awake. 

Distant memories: Spencer is older and slowly notices that he's developing memory loss.

Early stages: When Spencer starts dating someone, his work gets in the way, causing more problems than planned. 

It's always colder on your own: Old memories haunt the BAU's genius when a case involving addiction is handled by the team. 

Souvenirs, coffee dates and secrets: Suspicions about a possible partner rise when Spencer starts buying souvenirs and closely monitoring his phone more than he usually does; as he plans a few surprises for his beloved partner in secret. 

Thnks fr th Mmrs: Just two idiots in love, but none of them have the guts to say it. Eventually one of them will do it, a bit late, but, better now than never.

Unexpected visit: Spencer and his girlfriend had a child together that stayed a secret for security reasons.

Male!reader

Battle of knowledge: When a battle of knowledge abruptly occurs as the two known doctors meet at a case, everyone is partially amused by their hate towards the other, as they both differ their problems in quite a unusual way afterwards.

Child!Reader

Anything for you: Child confesses to Spencer that they aren’t sick, they’re being bullied.

++

Ralvez x reader

Fem!reader

More fear than harm: Panic sets in when Luke and Spencer are told about a potential terrorist attack coming on a case, while their partner happens to be home with their child.

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Emily Prentiss x reader

Fem!reader

Dar+ling: Emily finally gets the courage to confess their feelings to the reader, who has just wanted to do it too for a while.

GN/Fem!Reader

The Reichenbach Fall (AO3 Crosspost): “I'll always be there, I won't leave." Sherlock said, many times. And well...turns out he lied, and left everyone that loved him behind, just for a moment, till a miracle pulls out of nowhere, two years later.

Detention time: They're high school students, Reader gets a detention and Dean, not wanting to be alone, joins them. (Fem reader)

Happy Anniversary Cas. : "I didn't think it would be so important to you two. No one has ever done this for me before."

Criminal minds x Grey's Anatomy

Spencer Reid x Reader

Fem!reader

Painful visit: As the BAU lands in Seattle for a case, the reader encounters a traumatic event.

Emily Prentiss x Reader

Fem!reader

Marry me: A car crash turns everything into a nightmare. (Based off episode 18 and 19 of S7 of grey's anatomy)

Criminal Minds x Doctor Who

Spencer Reid / 10th Doctor

Saved From The Rain: Spencer has an encounter with a… strange man in a trench coat who saves him from the rain.

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#criminal minds #spencer reid #cm #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds spencer reid #greys fic #grey's anatomy fic #cm x greys #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural dean #dean winchester fic #writing stuff lex #bbc sherlock #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock holmes #john watson #Hannibal #hannigram #Hannibal Lecter #will graham #killing eve #killing eve fanfic #villanelle x eve #eve polastri #villanelle #oksana astankova #eve x villanelle

[yazthebookish]

A common theory i’ve been seeing from e/riels is that the bond is “fake”— the cauldron “made a mistake” and how Azriel letting Elain touch Truth-teller is huge foreshadowing on E/riel being canon.

“Elain looked up at Azriel, their eyes meeting, his hand still lingering on the hilt of the blade. I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection... the knife.” — FEYRE ABOUT E/RIEL. *ACOWAR*

“Some people say it is magic and will always strike true.” — AZRIEL ABOUT TRUTH-TELLER. *ACOWAR*

If Elucien’s bond truly is a mistake by the cauldron, maybe they’ll use Truth-teller to “strike true”, and cut their bond???? 🤯

**THEORY FROM daisymydaisy**

What’s your opinion? I need someone to pacify my Elucien-Gwynriel heart because this theory is SCARING ME. 😭😭😭😭😭

also i love your posts!! <3

Hello anon,

They are free to theorize however they want but I will explain my own reasons as to why I don't believe they are mates.

I'm just gonna ask that please don't share usernames next time, but I think this one has been floating around so most know where it originated but still, please don't give me names that's where I draw a line even if it's people I disagree with.

So...

You're telling me truth-teller is proof that they're mates because an idea for a painting popped up in Feyre's head? Ah "Bridge of connection" means it could be the "Bridge between souls" = mates. No, it doesn't work that way. It's not supposed to be taken in a literal sense, it just shows us Feyre's artistic mind at works, just like many instances in the book.

If Truth-teller can cut a "mating bond", if it's that powerful then poor Azriel would've saved a lot of time cutting through the magic and wards of the Queens' palace.

Also, does this one mean Lucien will be High King and rule them all?

He gave her Truth-teller because she kept refusing the dagger Cassian was trying to give her to defend herself. She said she doesn't know how to use weapons. Only then Azriel came and gave her truth-teller as a confidence booster because she's the weakest in their group with no fighting skills. This foreshadows her killing King of Hybern "striking true" and she did strike true and she returned the dagger to him right after the War. Sarah doesn't foreshadow mating bonds through daggers or material things. There are other elements exclusive to mating bonds.

1. Elain is not a special snowflake that she'll get two mates. "Sarah said..." Sarah answered the two mates theory even before ACOTAR was out because it was a Throne of Glass question. She answered that because everyone suspected Aelin was Rowan's mate even though he already had a mate before. She threw us off with that answer and shocked us by what the reality of the situation is (guess what? Two mates never happened). She did that to create a reader shock because she knew we won't see whatever happened in EoS coming. If she didn't apply the two mates theory in TOG, the world that is supposed to have that, then why would it in ACOTAR? It's never been mentioned in ACOTAR that someone could possibly get two mates. So, Lucien is her only mate and that theory has no basis or any supporting evidence from the books unless it's fan interpretation as you shared an example of that (truth-teller). But canon evidence? nothing there. She needs character development, not dealing with two mates.

2. You read this scene from ACOWAR and you'll tell me Azriel is her mate? A mate's instinct is to protect and if it was Nesta that needed to be guarded Cassian would've stayed without hesitation. Feyre doesn't even mention it to Lucien because he won't stay away if he knew Elain needed protection it'll trigger his "mate instinct". Azriel chose to go to the Hewn City instead of staying back to guard Elain even though Velaris was attacked not too long ago. Definitely not mate behavior.

3. They can claim as much as they'd like about the mating bond with Lucien being fake. Feyre went to his mind and saw it and saw his feelings. Nothing about it is fake. The Cauldron didn't choose wrong. Mates are from birth. Here is my post on the mating bond being from birth and not during transformation with evidence from the books. Sarah said they're mates but they'll use the TOG question as proof for the two mates theory yet still deny that Elain and Lucien are true mates even though Sarah said they are.

4. Azriel likely has a mate already (Gwyn is his mate theory). I'll post links of my previous posts from before but there are a lot of hints and parallels from the text for Azriel and Gwyn that proves Gwyn has a strong chance of being Azriel's mate. You have mates being equals and Gwyn and Azriel in a sense are, you have musical references being used for them that had been used for every mated couple "but they'll shout Lightsinger when there is evidence to support this", there is the glowing in the chest evidence that other mated characters experience, you have scenes of both seeming to be drawn to one another. Azriel and Elain have none of that, his terratorial behavior isn't evidence for "mates" especially when it wasnt a big issue for him to stay away from her when most mates can't like when Cassian said he can't stay away from Nesta. Here are some of my posts where I talk about this in more detail:

The Song of the Soul: mates and music

Mates/glow in the chest

Azriel and Gwyn: mate's are equal

Shadows singing back to the mating bond

Mates can't stay away

Azriel reaction to the Blood Rite

The nature of mating bonds

Feysand and Gwynriel parallel

If a mate rejection happens it will be confrontational and not truth-teller cutting a bond, like how does that work? And why? It's not like Lucien will force himself on her? Or is it a way to make her available for Azriel and they become mates? Mates are equals and destined from birth. It doesn't work that way. Azriel and Elain are not mates, and will not be mates.

I hope this answers your question anon😊

#asks #azriel

[with-my-murder-flute]

Hi everybody, thanks for the asks letting me know I made the top of @yusuftiddies’ list of Homophobes in TOG Fandom, you can stop sending them now.

So.

I can make mistakes and fuck up and own that. I am serious about listening to marginalized people. But... in this case, while @yusufstiddies generally describes factual events that happened and factual posts that exist, I have to say that I can’t actually apologize for the things I’m called out for because I don’t think they’re homophobic. The things he criticizes me for are things that come from a lot of personal experience as a queer bisexual cis woman, as well as a lot of reflection, research, and study. I believe in them really strongly and stand by them.

I’m really sorry if this makes TOG fandom too hostile, because it is not my intention to make this place so unpleasant that anyone feels driven out. I understand if my stance means people no longer want to follow me/read my stuff/participate in projects I’m involved with (though I’d rather hand off the Research Hub to someone else than see it go down with me). I’m posting this so people can know where they stand before they decide whether to keep interacting with my blog, or “deplatform” me as @yusufstiddies recommends.

I would recommend, for anyone who doesn’t want to see my posts, using Tumblr’s new post content filtering feature. If you type a username (like star-anise or with-my-murder-flute) into it, Tumblr will hide all posts featuring that specific string of characters, and therefore any post or reblog of mine.

To address the accusations against me:

I am an anti-anti: Yes. I’ve reblogged posts of mine about this before. I care passionately about preventing child abuse, but I think there are better ways to prevent child abuse in fandom (like concrete harassment policies so predatory behaviour can be reported and stopped early, and education about digital consent and healthy relationships) than attacking people who write “bad ships,” not least because the first people it hurts are abuse survivors trying to work through their trauma, and because the research says you cannot actually tell who’s a sexual predator based on what they write about.  Fiction affects reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. My mainblog, @star-anise, has a really extensive archive of my writing on the subject.

I said cishet men aren’t more privileged than gay men: Kinda. What I actually did was question whether Every Single Cishet Man benefits from more privilege than Every Single Gay Man. If a man is cishet but gets beaten up because people perceive him as gay, he’s not exactly feeling the warm toasty glow of heterosexual privilege in that moment. Oppression is complicated and there are times when someone’s lack of privilege on one axis is way less important than someone else’s lack of privilege on another axis.

The post above also includes me reblogging someone else’s addition about how straight men can be included in the queer movement: I’m queer. @yusufstiddies has made it very clear that he isn’t comfortable with the word “queer” and doesn’t like it. Therefore I think it’s understandable that he might not understand that the queer community sees ourselves as a coalition of people dedicated to dismantling the structures of sex and gender that oppress us, not a demographic of people whose gender identities or sexual orientations can be neatly mapped. However, I would say that doesn’t make queer theory inherently homophobic.

There are also some related points @yusufstiddies didn’t level at me specifically, but I would like to address:

The constant focus on the unsafeness of cishet people:

I’m not cishet. I’m a bisexual woman who’s dated women. Sixth-light is a queer woman married to a woman. This is not an issue of non-LGBTQ+ people blundering their way into something they don’t experience the daily consequences of. This is an issue of people from WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community who sincerely disagree with @yusufstiddies about the pressures we experience and how best to deal with them. I think that even if @yusufstiddies were to filter his fiction input to only LGBT-written work about LGBT experiences, or even only trans-written work about trans people, he would still find a lot of things he finds upsetting or transphobic, because sexual and gender identities are really diverse and not everything will suit one person.

The contention that saying “’Queer is a slur’ is TERF propaganda” is transmisogyny because it dilutes the definition of “TERF”:

People who point out the phrase is TERF propaganda are not calling every person who says it a TERF, and we are not trying to argue that telling a queer person that queer is a slur is inherently equal to the kind of damage a TERF does when she attacks a trans woman out of transphobia. Queer people being able to use the word “queer” does not have the same importance as trans women being able to live, work, and survive in public. Rather, we are literally saying, “This is a thing TERFs say when they take a break from attacking trans women and try to recruit new members to their group, so it’s in our best interests to not give it too wide a currency.”

Some people have experienced the word “queer” used as a hateful word hurled against them and don’t want to hear it ever again. I get that. It happens. Where I grew up, “gay” was a synonym for “shitty” and it took me a lot of years out of high school before the word “gay” wouldn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof.  I actually do understand that and think that’s valid (and again, support using post content filtering for that word).

One of the things I do at @star-anise is argue with young people who are headed into full-on transmisogynistic TERF territory, and work at reeling them back and deradicalizing them. I use a tag called “weedwhacking” so my followers can filter out the sometimes lengthy back-and-forths we get going.

Something I’ve learned, interacting with so many TERFs and proto-TERFs, is that one way they frequently get recruited into harassing trans people was through discourse around the word “queer”. For one, it encouraged them to want to distance themselves from any perception of LGBT people as “weird” or “not normal”, which led to seeing trans people as “weird” and “not normal” and therefore not good members of the “gay pride” community. For two, repeating “queer is a slur” predictably causes a lot of queer people to react in a defensive manner, so by teaching young or new people to say it, TERFs can set them up to feel alienated from the larger LGBTQ+ community and more open to TERF propaganda.

The next issue isn’t mentioned in the original callout post, but I think it’s key to this entire issue:

@yusufstiddies has made several posts about what cishet people should and shouldn’t write. For example, cishets shouldn’t write Nicky experiencing internalized homophobia.  Another is a detailed post of things cishets shouldn’t write about trans people, including which sexual positions only trans people are allowed to write. I would imagine that part of his frustration with fandom has been the lack of traction those posts have gotten. I know I very deliberately didn’t reblog them.

That isn’t because I don’t agree that the things he complains about are rarely handled well by cishet authors. I agree that there’s a lot of bad fic out there that contributes to negative stereotypes against LGBTQ+ people and is basically a microaggression to read.

I have two very deeply-seated reasons for my position:

LGBTQ+ identities are different from many other political identities because most people are not born identifiably LGBTQ+. It’s something we have to figure out about ourselves. And one really important way that we do that is using the safety of fiction to explore what an experience would be like, sometimes years before we ever admit that we fit the identity we’ve written about. So banning cishet authors from writing something is really likely to harm closeted and questioning LGBTQ+ people. It will lengthen the amount of time questioning people take before finding the identity that really fits them, and force closeted people to be even more closeted. 

There’s a lot of undeniably shitty stuff in fandom. However, I fundamentally believe that trying to target the people creating it and forcing them to stop doesn’t work very well, and has the serious byproduct of killing the creativity and enthusiasm of the rest of fandom and resulting in less of the actual thing you like being produced. I think that it is infinitely more productive to focus on improving the ratio of good stuff in fandom than trying to snuff out every bad thing.

Like I said: I understand if this means former followers, mutuals, or friends no longer want to interact with me. I’ll be saddened, but I’ve obviously chosen this path and can deal with the consequences. 

I wish this could have worked out differently.

#my stuff #the old guard

[1025cherrystreet]

New Home for the Holidays!

happy holidays! and merry christmas to whoever celebrates it!! <3

disclaimer: kinda scared ngl, this is my first piece of writing i’m putting on tumblr. i usually use wattpad (my username is the same it is here if you wanna follow me!), so i’m still learning how to do this lmao. hope you like it! any feedback is appreciated!!!

also... i didn’t really proofread this bc i got impatient and wanted to post it before christmas lol :)

warnings: none, just fluff ;)

gf!y/n spends christmas with harry and his family.

You hear the faint chime of the doorbell ringing from inside the house as you nervously pick at your fingers down at your side. Harry notices the small action, quickly taking your hand to intertwine with his, shooting you a small smile in hopes to calm your nerves.

And it does. For a moment. Until the door swings open and Anne appears on the other side. What finally does put your anxiety to rest is the big, warm hug she pulls you into, a splitting grin adorning her face. You chuckle in surprise (mostly at the fact she hugged you first and not her own son), but return the kind action, nonetheless.

"Oh my gosh! Y/N, my dear, you look gorgeous as always!" She says pulling back just enough to look at your face.

"Thank you! You're looking quite good yourself, Mrs. Twist." You return either a kind smile.

"Oh, none of that. I've told you before, call me Anne," She looks at you with a knowing and playful scowl, waving you off.

"Wow, hello to you too mum," Harry mutters from next to you, plastering a fake pout on his lips.

She softly scoffs, releasing her hold on you and moving to embrace her son.

"You look gorgeous too, Harry. Is that what you wanted to hear?" She jokes, the familiar smirk she holds reminds you of the one your boyfriend pulls so frequently.

When they release from their tight squeeze, Anne steps inside and holds the door open before speaking.

"Well... Don't want you two to freeze out there, come in! I was just fixing a cuppa,"

The warmth of her home heats your frozen fingertips as you enter and your glad to be out of the snow. You love the snow, but since growing up not experiencing it often where you lived makes it a little hard to bear in times like these. You couldn't remember many times you've had a white Christmas before (probably could count on one hand, if your honest), but you've always remembered them being the best ones.

You've always loved the holidays. You loved the cold weather and the time with family. You loved you're yearly family tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve night and taking a picture on the staircase in your childhood home the next morning. You loved making hot chocolate and watching you're family open the presents you got them.

You loved the holidays. But, what you love more than anything, is that this year you get to spend them with Harry.

You've been dating for two years now, but last Christmas, you spent it with your own family, as did he, because it was a bit too soon in y'all's relationship to make that step. However, this year Harry extended the invitation for you to join them and after talking with your parents (and your brother, albeit he didn't care one bit) you accepted the invite. Of course, not without making sure you wouldn't be imposing at all. And with Harry's reassuring words of, wouldn't have asked if we all didn't want you there, and besides, baby, it wouldn't be Christmas without all my loved ones, would it?, you started packing for London.

Harry shrugs off his coat as you both stand in the foyer and you follow suit as a voice shouts from the kitchen.

"Are they here?" A familiar sister calls out excitedly.

You and Harry enter the kitchen and he's immediately pulling Gemma into a bear hug. You look at the sight and smile fondly, noticing her boyfriend, Michal, behind them, but not before worrying for Gemma's breath support as Harry noticeably squeezes tighter.

They let go of each other and she playfully scowls at him, swatting his arm. To which Harry dramatically holds his arm, draining an, ow, that hurt!, receiving an eye roll from Gemma before Harry moves to greet Michal, and his stepdad, Robin.

"Hi, Y/N! It's so great to see you, feels like it's been ages," She greets you in turn, having enough of Harry's antics already. You return the greeting, along with the one to Michal and Robin, and before you know it, you're all deep into conversation.

Harry takes up spot right on your side like a leech. If you were being honest, it took you awhile to become accustomed and comfortable to how openly affectionate Harry is with you in front of his family and friends. At first, it was just small touches and light squeezes when the two of you would go out with Mitch and Sarah. The actions not bold enough for you to scold him, but just enough to make your cheeks turn pink. Not long after, the touches turned into sweet kisses to your cheek and draping a protective arm around you almost every time y'all went out. Which wasn't a problem until you realized how many stares your friends shot you when you started to get too comfortable in his warm embrace, most of the time opting to daze out in Harry's comfort than pay attention to conversation. So then, when the little affections turned into koala-esque cuddling into your side and planting heart-stopping kisses to your lips in front of Gemma and Anne this past summer, you decided to tell him to reign it back just a tad. It wasn't that you didn't like it! Quite the contrary, the sweet scent of his cologne that would flood your senses as he settled so close to you made your head fuzzy, and the pecks along your neck or on your hands or on your cheeks left you incapable of being present.

Of course, your loving boyfriend pouted a bit at the fact he claims, you don't want my kisses, but quickly got over it when you dropped to your knees before the boy to press kisses somewhere he couldn't complain about.

However, despite all of your protests to PDA, you can't help but relinquish your resolve as you melt into the couch with Harry between your legs, head resting on your tummy. The whole family (which includes you now!) is settled into their comfy spots in Anne's living room as Miracle on 34th Street plays on the TV, everyone having changed into their fuzziest Christmas pajamas. The realization when you saw Harry, Gem, and Anne had matching pajama bottoms made your heart grow tenfold and your eyes glaze over in complete fondness.

The smell of kettle corn popcorn (as Harry made it since he knows it's your favorite) and cinnamon candles fill the room. Anne and Robin are together on the couch perpendicular to yours against the wall opposite of you and Harry as the two of you are laid out taking up the whole space on y'all's blue sofa, while Gemma and Michal have cuddled up on the floor, sharing the big bean bag off to your left since they were the last ones to join the holiday movie marathon.

You love the dynamic of Harry's family. Much different than the chaotic mess of yours, and although you still love your family very much (despite their constant need to be obnoxiously loud for no reason whatsoever, fight over little things, and ignore each other on a daily basis), you admire how calm their presence is. You're family is just so... loud. And that's not necessarily a bad thing! The running joke of your family is that no one in it is capable of whispering...well, except you but you all blame it on the anxiety. But even so, your parents and brother have always argued. Over everything. Very rarely is it about something important, and seldom does it get out of control, but your family's way of showing affection is very...unique? Y'all aren't openly nice and polite all the time. As confusing as it might sound, y'all show your love in bickering. The love is more underlying than it is direct in show.

But that's why you can't get over how quiet this house is right now. Not one fight over someone breathing wrong has broke out and Harry and Gemma actually get along and enjoy each other's company. They're like... friends! The concept is crazy to you and you can't help but get just a tad bummed how your family doesn't just sit around all cuddled up, and how they'll get something for you while their up so you don't have to move from your comfy spot, or how Anne will just hug Harry out of nowhere. But the more you think about it, you realize that it's probably because Harry wasn't around much, always touring and traveling the world. He never got the time to playfully bicker with his family. So, as everyone is quiet in their comfort, you take it all in, happy that you're given the chance to experience their household dynamic.

Your fingers play with Harry's hair, running them through the long brown curls, still as wonderstruck at how soft his hair is as ever. Hearing him softly hum when you gently tug through a thicker curl.

"You're so effortlessly beautiful, ya know that?" You whisper to him, the sound of the movie, thankfully, covering you're affection from everyone else.

You can just spot the smitten little grin that grows on his face, and despite not having the angle to see, you just know his precious dimple is making a showcase right now...and that's enough to put a smile on your own face.

Instead of replying in words, he only turns his head to place a soft, melting kiss upon your thigh. Making heat surge through your entire body, in turn, making your heart warm at his love.

As y'all sit and watch the movie, you start to subconsciously braid your boyfriends hair. Starting by sectioning (albeit, a bit lazily) his hair into two big chunks, then separating three strands from the top of his head, you start braiding the pieces, adding a bit more hair as you go. He eventually caught on to what you were doing and you thought he was going to stop you, truthfully. But to your surprise, he only started rubbing gentle circles into your legs with his hands in a calming manner, causing you to release a content sigh.

When you get to the end, you tie off the finished braid with a hair tie from your wrist before moving to the other side of his sectioned head. It surprised you how long his braids are! They come down about a few inches below his chin, much longer than the only other time you had saw him in braids, which was when Lou did them right before he went on stage to perform. Now, your braiding skills aren't as refined as Lou's are, her skills making yours look rather sad, but you're having a blast doing it and that's all that matters. Not like he's going to go perform after this, right?

After securing the second braid in a hair tie, you lean forward and place a kiss to the top of Harry's head, causing him to tilt his head to look at you with a big smile on his pretty face.

Since you're sat up already and hovering over his face with him still in your lap, you press a quick, searing kiss to his lips, watching them curve into a splitting grin. You smile back at him, just admiring his features.

Despite being able to feel the loving stares from Gemma and Anne in the room, your focus is still on Harry.

“I love you,” He whispers, bringing a hand up to gently stroke your cheek.

“I love you too, bubs.” You return, because you do. You love him so much it hurts sometimes.

Looking at him now, surrounded by his family, you think you have never been so happy in your entire life. You’re so lucky to have him in your life, and you know he knows he’s lucky too.

But most of all, you’re so glad you decided to spend this Christmas with him.

#harry styles #harry styles fluff #fine line #hshq #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles christmas #christmas #holidays #fluff #reader insert #writing #fanfic #one direction #long haired harry #anne twist #gemma styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #1025cherrystreet

[aks3raao1]

Ah, yes. My first Tumblr post. Idk why I felt the need to share all my pet peeves abt Tokyo Ghoul here since it's already on my wattpad in my Shitpost but ig a part of me wants to see how this works...

You can find me on wattpad if you search this username: Ax3lQu33n

Ok, let's get started. Don't attack me. Btw, I made this like a rlly long time ago fyi

My Opinion on Tokyo Ghoul Even Though No One Asked

I just finished Tokyo Ghoul and I gotta say...good anime. I liked the ending a lot. But I understand why people don't like it... I understand that a lot. And I feel like ranting about it because many of these points are my pet peeves when it comes to stories. Oh, and I never read the manga. This is strictly about the anime.

This may seem offensive to anyone who likes Tokyo Ghoul so just beware. Also, SPOILER ALERT! Btw, I had a really hard time not dropping this.

1. Too many characters

Tokyo Ghoul had WAY too many characters that they didn't know what to do with. It's like Pokemon. Eventually, they added so many Pokemon that they didn't know what to do with them so in the end, they were just...there.

An example of this would be in Tokyo Ghoul: Re (don't remember which 1 tho), there was a girl with blonde hair over her face like a mop bc she didn't like her freckles. They literally just used that scene to explain a character death but it was really...irrelevant. At that point, they literally just killed off a character bc they could. And we barely knew that character too so...it made no sense.

And a bunch of characters didn't have any relevance to the main plot and were mostly just seen fighting. That really peeved me off bc...you just don't do that if you want a good story. Plus, too many of the characters were only introduced way later. Always get the character introductions out the way before you carry on with ANYTHING else.

Tip for writing: Don't use too many characters. Give yourself a minimum and a maximum or else everything will get confusing/seem like it has no relevance. And ALWAYS introduce the majority that will have major plot relevance first.

2. Too much and yet, not enough character backstory

They gave almost every character a good backstory and only discussed it briefly. Instead of hooking the audience and making them wanting more, they just carried on to the next character which made it seem...boring. And the characters they made us want more of, they never even discussed them. It was like everything was left in subtext/watcher's interpretation which is a huge pet peeve that I have... If you're gonna do that, do it right.

Ayato Kirishima was e p i c. You can't change my mind. But...we barely knew anything about his past. We just knew he was Toka's brother and that he was mad at his dead dad. We still didn't know for WHAT. He was an interesting character that showed up at the right time in the right ways and was important to the story as well as certain characters but

We. Didn't. Even. Get. A. Full. Back. Story.

They give us a backstory on the dude with the white hair that was like their body guard or smth rather briefly and even tho it was linked to them and their parents, it still didn't explain why Ayato hated his dad so much or why Toka was dead set on defending him and then later called him an idiot... ONLY IN TG: RE DID WE HEAR THAT THEIR DAD HAD BEEN KILLING BC OF BLOODLUST

Bro...that was srsly too fucking late...

3. HEAVY plot armour and not sticking to the basis

Did y'all notice that in TG: Re, Kaneki and everyone else ate...human food? As sustenance and nutrition?? Not to lessen suspicion??? When in season 1, Kaneki couldn't even stomach down a sandwich? What happened here-

And in the first season as well, they said that ghouls can't have their skin penetrated by things such as knives and etc. Only if your strength is comparable to that of a ghoul's will you be able to deal such a blow. Or if you were using your kagune. That's the reason they invented those weapons using ghoul's kagunes, right?

So...why did they drop that at a point? Juzo (bless his soul, I love him) used literal knives, normal knives to fight off ghouls when the scythe was impractical. Now...where does that make sense? It definetly wasn't a quinque-

Not only that, but somewhere in TG: Re, someone uses a golden sword thingy that's mainly used as a prop in a household. It has a thin blade and is for speedy attacks. It wouldn't work against a ghoul. Yet, he pierced one with it. Then there's me wondering why it didn't break... Forget the guy not being strong enough to deal such a blow, WHY DIDN'T IT FUCKING BREAK?!

And the plot armour part: the things you're supposed to die from just...don't kill you? Heads were still fucking talking after they've been decapitated and people got slashed to PIECES but THEY DIDN'T DIE. Only if it was to continue on with some 💖drama💖 in the plot, did they die by smth trivial. And most characters just got cut off for no apparent reason...

It's like a clear message to us that the world is unfair.

Tip for writing: Don't just kill off characters to advance toward a certain point in the plot, there are other ways. And REMEMBER THE BASIS THAT YOU LAID DOWN!

4. Characters not shown enough

Certain characters were taken out of the story for literal seasons and then only revealed again after the entire thing was finished. I LIKED HIDE, WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE SHOWN DYING AND THEN ONLY COME BACK AT THE LAST 3 EPISODES OF TG SBEJWJIWI2I2

H E D E S E R V E S J U S T I C E

I have seen that most animes do this... Like in BSD, Chuuya is gone for literal seasons and in the BNHA manga (no, I don't read the manga, @travalerray just enjoys telling me stuffs about it), Katsuki and Aizawa (and I think Shoto?) Are gone for a really long time as well. Like-

Please stop this... It's torture and makes no sense.

5. Too many plots all at once

There wasn't just one plot. THERE WERE LIKE 50- It became really hard to keep up and legit so confusing because each one was somewhat different... They shoulda just made a separate anime for everyone's journey bc, suddenly, EVERYONE was the main character but still IN THEIR OWN STORY.

Tip for writing: If you write a story, stick to 1 plot, stick to 1 or 2 main characters and the rest can be an entirely different book. If you put them all in 1 book with each one telling their own story, it's gonna get way too confusing and become an absolute flop. Trust me. Backstories are still fine but not each a different journey...

6. Repeating tropes

This is 1 of my worst pet peeves. Each ghoul character went through smth known as insanity and displayed a whole damn lot of it for no apparent reason other than, "I am a ghoul". They were PERFECTLY normal in human form but then all of a sudden, it's cackling and saying weird shit to sound creepy just bc their eyes changed😐

Mutsuki has a pass, they went clinically insane by normal circumstances (more or less) but...really, man? They...didn't matter to the main plot at all and they were being...pretty dang stupid. I can't...

And Kaneki just kept turning emo. It became so frustrating that I just...really wanted to slap him outta the window. The first time was cool but then I started to hate him. A lot. Like-

I really really really hate this trope.

8. Bad animation

I have only watched the anime so I will say this: the animation could have been better. After the 1st season, the fights seemed sloppy and the movement was stiff... It made me sigh. I can't do better but I feel like the animators could have after seeing season 1.

9. Basically, general knowledge flew out the window

Kagunes changed, ghouls had tattoos, everyone turned insane, emo was apparently a trend the main character picked up, noonethoughttoexplainTokaandTheGourmet'srelationship?

In all honesty...Tokyo Ghoul was bearable with a good plot at first but... It became too much with way too many things.

Ok, that's all from me. And can I just mention that ik the main theme was smth like despairing bc things will never change or etc. (Don't quote me on this) but having to repeat the same thing, same ending (for Kaneki specifically) over and over is not good writing. As compelling as the concept is, that's just sloppy and it gets boring. And the plot was rushed beyond like- dude, we need a breather

Ok, enough of me roasting Tokyo Ghoul. Many people most likely made a post on this already but w h a t e v a h. I had fun when I wrote this. I am sorry (not)

Also...WHY IS MAKING A SIMPLE POST SO DIFFICULT- Or is it just my phone...

#tokyo ghoul rant #tokyo ghoul anime analysis? #first tumblr post #copied and pasted from my wattpad #i still don't like Tokyo Ghoul #watch the first season and then discontinue it #I'm sure you'll feel better that way #not to disrespect the creators but...no #AND HOW TOKA AND KANEKI GOT MARRIED AND HAD A KID LIKE- #nah i prefer Toka single #Tokyo Ghoul spoilers #anime #rant #spilled thoughts #tokyo ghoul #kaneki ken