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artificergorgug · 3 months

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I'm still very new to this fandom (like truly I finished sophomore a month ago), but it so strange having the narrative of these characters being taken back out of my control

Two episodes in and already so many of my post-sophomore year headcanons have been contradicted (and those that have been confirmed are still slightly different than how I've imagined them)

Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited about junior year and all the new plot bunnies and headcanons and fics it will inspire for me. It's just a different experience going from binging (or watching a movie) to a week by week schedule, where I'm almost nervous to integrate junior year info into my writing bc I don't want it to get overturned the next week

#things i've been thinking about #i will simply be writing canon divergence aus until may #fantasy high junior year #d20 #fhjy #writing #fan fiction

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aauene · 2 years

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i wore makeup 'cause i thought i would be pretty to you

i changed the way i dressed and my style just for you

'cause then maybe you'd like me more if i fit in with you

you had a whole list of things you wanted to do

you told me all the things you wanted us to do

all the things you wanted me to do with you too

i tried so hard to be someone you would like and maybe love too

but even then that wasn't enough for you

...

i don't think you noticed the words that slipped out of your mouth

all the things you wanted and all the plans we talked about

were all the things you did with someone you loved before

and all the things you saw in me were what you saw in her too

i don't think you felt anything that you said you did before

all i was wasn't enough for you to not just see her too

...

i wrote a whole list of things i wanted to remember about you

i learned all your favorite things and went along with you

and when you told me all the things you were struggling with

i let you do what you needed and take what you wanted from me too

'cause i just wanted to be enough for you

i just wanted to be enough for you

...

i don't think you know how much i wished it was you

i don't think you know how much i wanted it to work with you

i don't think you know how much those 100 days broke my heart too

all i ever wanted was to be enough for you

but nothing i could do would be enough for you

and all i just wanted was to be enough for you

enough for you

...

enough for you // to people i liked when i was 18

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uncanny-tranny · 4 months

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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?

At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.

I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.

#politics #i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA #as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD #and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol #i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually #i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks #distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D #i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long

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hodd1 · 7 months

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I was just thinking how cool it would look if Leo's next move was to open portals with his bare hands And since future Leo doesn't have a hand, they'd have to work together to activate his powers

#mmm yes #I've been thinking about describing this thing for about a month #and I finally gave up #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #future leonardo #leonardo

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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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expelliarmus · 7 months

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#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #catherine tate #dw spoilers #ok i mainly just wanted to make my own gifs of donna saying KICK ITS ARSE #:')))#and i've just been thinking all day about how this doctor has lost the ponds and clara and bill and river and walked away from yaz #since losing donna #and it just makes me FEEL THINGS #also i really hope big finish makes some more ten and donna adventures one day too pleaseeeee #(or fourteen and donna too but that most likely wouldn't really be possible)

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ohhgingersnaps · 11 months

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I'm seeing some frustration over fandom creatives expressing anger or distress over people feeding their work into ChatGPT. I'm not responding to OP directly because I don't want to derail their post (their intent was to provide perspective on how these models actually work, and reduce undue panic, which is all coming from a good place!), but reassurances that the addition of our work will have a negligible impact on the model (which is true at this point) does kind of miss the point? Speaking for myself, my distress is less about the practical ramifications of feeding my fic into ChatGPT, and more about the principle of someone taking my work and deliberately adding it to the dataset.

Like, I fully realize that my work is a drop in the bucket of ChatGPT's several-billion-token training set! It will not make a demonstrable practical difference in the output of the model! That doesn't change the fact that I do not want my work to be part of the set of data that the ChatGPT devs use for training.

According to their FAQ, ChatGPT can and will use user input to train itself. The terms and conditions explicitly state that they save your chats to help train and improve their models. (You can opt-out, but sharing is the default.) So if you're feeding a fic into ChatGPT, unless you've explicitly opted out, you are handing it to the ChatGPT team and giving them permission to use it for training, whether or not that was your intent.

Now, will one fic make a demonstrable difference in the output of the model? No! But as the person who spent a year and a handful of months laboring over my fic, it makes a difference to me whether my fic, specifically, is being used in the dataset. If authors are allowed to have a problem with the ChatGPT devs for scraping millions of fics without permission, they're also allowed to have a problem with folks handing their individual fics over via the chat interface.

I do want to add that if you've done this to a fic, please don't take this as me being upset with you personally! Folks are still learning new information and puzzling out what "good" vs. "bad" use is, from an ethical standpoint. (Heck, my own perspective on this is deeply based on my own subjective feelings!) And we certainly shouldn't act like one person feeding a fic into ChatGPT has the same practical negative impact, on a broad societal scale, as a team using a web crawler to scrape five billion pieces of artwork for Stable Diffusion.

The point is that fundamentally, an ethical dataset should be obtained with the consent of those providing the data. Just because it's normalized for our data to be scraped without consent doesn't make it ethical, and this is why ChatGPT gives users the option to not share data— there is actually a standardized way (robots.txt) for website servers to set policies for how bots/crawlers can interact with them, for exactly this reason— and I think fandom artists and authors are well within their rights to express a desire for opting out to be the socially-respected default within the fandom community.

#maybe this is an ice cold take but i've been meaning to go off about datasets for a while so here we are i guess #i can respect what op's frustrations were and what they were trying to get at! but also i do not want my fic in chatgpt's dataset #regardless of whether it will make a practical difference #and again i don't think the people doing this are necessarily bad actors or having a huge negative social impact #chatgpt #chat gpt #ai #fandom #negative #(possibly! i'm trying not to be!! especially because this is very feelings-based and there are many things i am not considering)#the model may not demonstrably change because of your fic. but it does have your fic now and that does matter maybe idk

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abzania · 8 months

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I want to point out that Aziraphale tries to stay. His first response to the Metatron's offer is, "I don't want to go back to Heaven."

I feel like people think he's going into this somewhat enthusiastically, but that's just not true. You can see the weight of his actions on his face, especially on the elevator at the end. He's not as ignorant or naive as people think. He's just in too deep.

He tries to say he doesn't want to go. That he's made a mistake (right before they leave, he says, "I think I--"), but he cuts himself off. I think this is because of two reasons.

Aziraphale is too scared to say no to an angel who outranks him (both because of who he's talking to, and his overall behavior when talking with other angels). Speaking to the Metatron is literally tantamount to speaking to God. Aziraphale is fully aware of this. He doesn't want to say no. Both out of fear, and because now, he has to save the world again.

He has it in his head that he has to fix Heaven. Not for the world, the other angels, or even for himself, but for Crowley. Even though Crowley said no and rejected him, Aziraphale doesn't know the real reason. He probably thinks that if things change, Crowley will be willing to join him again. But it isn't Heaven or Crowley that really stops Crowley from joining him. It's what already happened. Coming back to Heaven wouldn't erase God's mistake. It would only cover it up. This is what Aziraphale needs to learn. As well as the story of Crowley's fall and what it truly did to him.

But I don't think he really wanted to go. I think he knows exactly what this means, and I think the implications will be very interesting to see when season 3 comes out.

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thai-09 · 1 month

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#byler #byler fanart #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #stranger things fanart #I did this instead of doing my homework 😀#This is inspired by that scene from Lord of the Rings by the way #I've been thinking about drawing them like this for a while now

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athenagranted · 18 days

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the way i would pay for oliver to write meta about buck's character

#like. he Gets it. i've been thinking about buck in this ep for five days straight and he said it better in one sentence than any paragraph #i could ever come up with #people are arguing over whether buck #acted the way he did bc he wanted tommy's attention or eddie's attention or bc he was feeling left out or whatever but i don't think it's #any one thing i think it was just a general feeling of Wrongness when tommy showed up borne from thirty years of repressing his sexuality #and he tried to rationalize it as jealousy or whatever and worked through the fact that his behavior was completely unreasonable but #it wasn't until tommy kissed him that all of the rage that was trapped inside him was allowed to escape bc he finally had a name for it #he's been turning over parts of himself for years trying to find that final piece and getting more and more upset when it eludes him #n this kiss was the kind of cathartic relief that he so desperately needed bc it allowed him to understand what's been missing #anyway. oliver stark i love you so much i'm so grateful you play buck #buck #rae.txt #911

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atalana · 8 months

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so the good place is widely lauded on this site for its takes on morality and capitalism, which i totally agree with

but i think it should get more recognition for the line "all humans are aware of death. so we're all a little bit sad all the time. that's just the deal. we don't get offered any better ones. and if you try and ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway. i've been there, and everybody's been there. so don't fight it. in the words of a very wise bed bath and beyond employee i once knew - go ahead and cry all you want. but you're gonna have to pay for that toilet plunger."

#i dunno i've been thinking about grief lately #and i think the nature of humanity is everyone's grieving something #it might not always be as straightforward as the death of a loved one - sometimes it is #but sometimes you're grieving a life you never got to live #the person you used to be #hell an old toy you just realised you lost years ago and are never going to get back #we're all just a little bit sad all the time #and i think looking at the world like that makes it a lot more friendly place #because everyone is someone who needs a bit of comfort - or just someone to say hey its okay to be sad and angry and confused #and when you're finally ready to let whatever you're grieving go the world will be a happier place #and you'll find a new thing to grieve because there's always something to be a little bit sad about #but the world keeps getting better for every one you get through and every friend who helps you through it #and sometimes you just need to throw a dumb joke in there at the end #that's what it means to be human #the good place #tgp

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konigsblog · 2 months

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crazy, how the majority of my haters are either hypocrites, or are just straight up LYING. lmfao, i've written rape before and i apply appropriate warnings, but i've never ever written PEDOPHILIA. 😬

their username on tumblr is @asgardswinter, they have continuously mentioned me on their blog. it's literally creepy and clearly obsessive, lmfao, and lying about me writing pedophilia is real fucking weird considering they don't apply any further context or include any evidence to back up this claim...

i'd appreciate it if you reported their twitter account or blog for like harassment 😮‍💨

#their username is asgardswinter. i think #cod #lmfao i've been sent death threats. being threatened with doxxing. and insulted countless times...#begging for them to comprehend what “don't like don't read” mean #these are the same people saying the care about SA victims whilst insulting them for having a different coping mechanism #they probably have the idea of a “perfect survivor” when there's no such thing as a perfect survivor...#🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️#ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #x reader #cod x reader #discourse #cod fandom

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aauene · 2 years

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i wish i knew the reason why i got so attached to you

why i wanted us to be something real for the first time

i always said i wanted to love someone but i realize now i only wanted it to be you

but you're not looking for love and so i have to swallow how i feel one more time

.

i'll watch you from the sidelines till i fade from your life

i'll hold you till you tell me you're tired

i'll never erase you from the memory of my life

i'll watch you from the sidelines till i fade from your life

i'll watch you from the sidelines till i'm erased from your mind

i know you'll never be mine

so i'll just watch you from the sidelines till i fade from your life

.

i don't want anything from you

i just want to keep you as a part of my life

you taught me everything i never knew

i thought i could see the world through my eyes

till you showed me your view

i didn't know i couldn't see till you

thank you

.

i'll watch you from the sidelines till i fade from your life

i'll hold you till you tell me you're tired

i'll never erase you from the memory of my life

i'll watch you from the sidelines till i fade from your life

i'll watch you from the sidelines till i'm erased from your mind

i know you'll never be mine

so i'll just watch you from the sidelines till i fade from your life

...

sidelines // to people i liked when i was 18

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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It's honestly frustrating that I've seen non-Russian queer people almost bragging about how they would be illegal in Russia, labeled an extremist or terrorist. Russian queers are in danger, their government has made it clear where it stands, and it's made this effort for the better part of a decade (even longer, perhaps). This will kill people, don't mistake this for a quirky little proclamation from a government, akin to somebody saying the sky is pink. Russian queer people were already expressing their fear, and the least we can do now is express our love for them, and advocate with them.

Russian queer people, I love you. I love you all so much. I am so sorry, I cannot begin to express the grief that I feel, and I hope that you are safe. Words cannot encapsulate how I feel as a non-Russian, and I cannot hope to comprehend how it feels to actually be in this situation.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ofc this has been brewing for a long time and it has been really troubling to say the very LEAST #honestly i have seen russian queers joke about the situation which feels different. honestly it's almost admirable #i just can't find it funny to see non-Russians do it simply because the threat of prosecution or death for people is too high in my mind #it feels almost voyeuristic when non-russians joke like that to me #like i've joked about the state of (us)american queer rights when it feels too bleak but i live here #i guess when people only joke about it it tells me they don't think it's a big deal or that it won't affect queer people...#...because it won't affect them as an outsider likely #it's just shitty. all around. and it's the type of thing that i'm not sure what to do #queerphobia #queerphobia tw

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fleshwizard · 4 months

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𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄'𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐎

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inkskinned · 8 months

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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

#warm up #writeblr #i spent a lot of time picturing our future #how funny to think: in each version of our future #i was never myself #i was someone smarter kinder braver #better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me #i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me #people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy #the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made #it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else #i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO #SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness #you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.

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